#I wanna know what's going through her head even if in the main comic she's sort of treated as this side character

[r0semultiverse]

Do you think Meenah has survivors guilt for seemingly being the only dancestor left alive?

[estrellami-1]

Anything

Trigger warning: discussions of death. Not a main character, but it does happen. Lots of angst. Lots of hurt/comfort. I’ll post it in the tags as well.

Steve has a problem.

It’s not a big problem, not really, but his brain won’t let it go and is making it a bigger deal than it really is.

Eddie won’t ride in his car alone.

With the kids, sure; he’ll practically dive into the backseat, noogie Dustin, generally make a nuisance of himself.

But if it’s just the two of them? If Steve insists on driving, Eddie will take his van. There’s no problem if Steve wants to ride with Eddie. But the other way around? Eddie riding with Steve? That doesn’t happen. And Steve has no idea why.

“Talk to him, Dingus,” is Robin’s advice. He’d flip her off, but unfortunately he thinks she’s right: this is something they’re gonna have to talk through.

So Steve pulls on his big-boy pants and marches himself to the Munsons’ trailer, knocking on the door and waiting expectantly.

He doesn’t expect Wayne, but maybe he should’ve, because that’s who answers the door. “Hi, Steve. You’re here for Eddie, I bet, he’ll be in his room.” He moves aside to let Steve in, and Steve thanks him after a second before moving down the hall to Eddie’s room.

He hears him before he sees him; or, more accurately, he hears his guitar. He’s playing the acoustic tonight, instead of his usual sweetheart, so Steve knocks instead of walking in like he’d usually do.

The guitar stops, and Steve hears it being put down, hears a heavy sigh. “Wayne, I’m not really in the- oh.” He opens the door as he speaks and blinks at Steve. After a second, he smiles. “Hey, man, c’mon in.”

Steve blinks. “Uh. Are you okay?” 

Eddie purses his lips. “Define okay. I’m not currently being eaten by bats, y’know? But playing the acoustic always reminds me of my Ma.”

“Ah.” Steve shifts. “Sorry, man. Maybe I should come back later.”

Eddie shrugs. “You’re here now, aren’t you? I can’t be that terrible company.”

Steve snorts. “No, I just… I had a question, but it can wait.”

Eddie tilts his head. “You do that a lot, y’know?” He turns, sits on his bed. Motions Steve into his room.

Steve sits next to him, more comfortable here than in his own room. “Do what?”

“Put yourself last.” He shrugs. “You can ask me. If I don’t wanna answer, I won’t.”

Steve scrunches his nose. “Okay, fine. Why won’t you ride in my car?”

Eddie frowns. “I do, though? Hell, I did what, two days ago? You, me and Dustin went to that comic store in Indy.”

“Okay, let me rephrase. Why won’t you ride passenger in my car, alone? Without any of the kids? And even two days ago you were in the backseat with Dustin.” He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal, I’m just curious.”

Eddie takes a breath. “No, it’s- yeah. You should know.” He clears his throat, grabs the acoustic again. Plays a riff of some sort, fingers dancing over the frets. “I think I feel like I have to save everyone. Or at least be in a position where I can save them, if the need arises.” He swallows, takes another breath. His fingers still. They tremble over the strings. “Did I ever tell you how my ma died?”

Now it’s Steve’s turn to inhale sharply. He shakes his head. “We can stop,” he says. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Eddie smiles ruefully. “I do, though.” He shakes his head. “I was… I was six. It was three days before my seventh birthday. We were driving home from the city. Ma was drivin’, an’ she let me sit in the front seat, since it was almost my birthday. Or- that’s what she said. I think it was so we couldn’t stop her. Couldn’t save her.” He swallows. His eyes are glassy. His accent is thick, the way it gets when he’s thinking about her, or when he’s emotional. His left hand grips the neck of the guitar tightly. Steve worries for his fingers. “We weren’t goin’ that fast, even, but forty’s enough when-” he shakes his head, looks away. Coughs out something that wanted to be a sob. Steve takes the guitar, takes Eddie’s hand. Puts the guitar down. Doesn’t let go of Eddie. “She unbuckled her belt. Dad didn’t see it. I did. Didn’t say anythin’. Maybe I should’ve, I dunno.” He squeezes Steve’s hand. “Then it all happened so fast… she smiled at me, an’ opened her door, an’ next thing I knew-” he wipes at tears on his cheeks. “D’you know what happens to a human head under the wheel of a car at forty miles an hour?”

Steve gasps, grips Eddie’s hand just as tightly. Pulls Eddie in when he begins to shake. “An’ I know why, now,” he whispers. “Dad weren’t good to her. I’unno what he done t’her. I know she did what she could. But I was there. I was right there.” He sniffles, trembles with the effort of keeping his sobs in. Somehow succeeds. “So that’s why. Figure if a kid were to try… I could stop ‘em. Figure if you were to try…”

“You could stop me.” Steve holds him tight. “I won’t,” he whispers. “I swear to you, I won’t.”

“I know,” Eddie whispers back. “But I gotta be able to try.”

“Christ, Eds,” Steve whispers. “I was gonna ask if you’re okay but that’s a stupid question.”

Eddie giggles, still teary-eyed. “Just a little bit.”

Steve pulls away to look him in the eye. “I’m staying tonight, okay? Nightmares are always worse after something like this.”

“Then you should go home,” Eddie argues. “Sleep while you can.”

“Nightmares are always easier with someone else.”

“Damn you, that’s true.” They both laugh a little.

Just then, Wayne comes in with two steaming mugs. “Listen to your boy, son,” he says to Eddie, handing over one of the mugs. He gives Steve the other with a wink. “Lavender tea with a shit ton of honey. Learned it from my ma.”

“Not my boy, Wayne,” Eddie grumbles, but thanks him for the tea anyways.

Steve thanks him too, and he winks again before leaving. Eddie rolls his eyes. “I’d apologize for him, but you’d just defend him.”

“Hey, I like Wayne.”

“I know. Sometimes I think you like him more than you like me.”

Steve chuckles. “Never. You’re my favorite.” He moves so they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder, drinking their tea, leaning against each other. It’s peaceful, and soon enough Eddie’s yawning and dropping his head onto Steve’s shoulder. “Imma pass out soon.”

“Then let’s get you up to brush your teeth before you do.”

Eddie groans like the toddler he secretly is. “I don’t wanna.”

“Yeah, and you don’t wanna go to the dentist to get teeth pulled, either, now do you?”

“Shuddup.”

“Wow. Real master of words here. Really feeling that Dungeon Master power.”

Eddie thumps his arm, but snickers, and really that’s what Steve was going for in the first place, so he just smiles and leads Eddie to the bathroom.

Soon enough they’re in bed, tucked in next to each other, not quite packed like sardines and it’s only because of the heat outside that Steve isn’t more upset not to have more of a reason to touch Eddie. “Night, Eds,” he murmurs, smiling when Eddie rolls over to face him and is temporarily blinded by his own hair. Steve helps move his hair, grabs at Eddie’s hand when he’s done. “Wake me up if the nightmare doesn’t, okay?”

“C’mon, Steve, I can deal with them-”

“I know you can,” Steve answers. “But I want to be up if you are. I want to help if I can. Please, Eddie?”

Eddie sighs after a second. “Damn you,” he says, “I can’t say no to you.” He’s smiling, despite his words, so Steve smiles back.

“Thank you.”

“G’night, Stevie.”

“Night, Eds.”

Steve wakes up to Eddie crying out in his sleep. Even with his eyes closed, he’s got tears streaming down his cheeks. Steve sits up, turns on the lamp, and puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Eddie?”

He rolls over, away from Steve, and continues sobbing. “Eds? Are you awake?” No answer, so Steve puts his hand back on Eddie’s shoulder and shakes a little. “Eddie, wake up!”

He’s up with an aborted yell and a flail of limbs, sitting up and staring into the darkness of his room, trembling. He sniffs and turns to face Steve, finally realizing he’s there, and Steve opens his arms for a hug.

He collapses into Steve’s arms, face mashed into the side of Steve’s neck, arms snaking around Steve’s torso to give an ineffectual tug. Steve takes the hint and inches closer until they’re practically hip-to-hip. “Y’wanna talk about it?” He asks. Eddie sniffs and shakes his head. “Y’want me to talk? To distract you?” Eddie nods. “Okay. Uh… I may have bitten myself in the butt with this one, ‘cause I’m not a great storyteller, not like you are, but did you know we actually met in middle school?”

No answer. “We did. Hawkins Middle was putting on its annual talent show. Now, back then, I was nobody. No one knew me, my name, my parents… nothing. I had one friend named Tommy, who I’d grown up with. Of course, you know him, and you know what happened between us, but he was my only friend back then. I didn’t tell anyone, but I signed up for the talent show. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do, I just knew I wanted to do something. I’ve always had a pretty decent voice, so I figured I could just sing, if I couldn’t figure out anything else to do. Knew I’d at least beat out Tammy Thompson.” He shifts so Eddie’s hair is no longer a choking hazard and pets his hand over Eddie’s head, doing his best to tame the wild curls. “So it’s the night of the talent show, right? And it feels like the whole school is there. I’m sitting backstage, peeking through the curtains, and am about to have my very first panic attack. Someone bumps into me and knocks me over. They tell me to watch where I’m going, even though I wasn’t moving. So now I’m on the ground, thinking about the crowd, and the noise is getting to be too much, and someone grabs my hand and it all… stops. Just like that. It’s silent, other than, like, a ringing sound in my ears. And this boy, the one who grabbed my hand, kneels in front of me, puts my hand on his chest-” Steve demonstrates, moving so he can grab Eddie’s hand and put it on his chest, just over his heart. “-and tells me to breathe with him. In, out. In, out. He raised his hand when we breathed in, and lowered it when we breathed out. In, out. In, out. And when my breathing’s calmed down, he tells me to name five things I can see. And you know what I said first?”

Eddie furrows his brows. “My… my hair?”

“Yup,” Steve nods. “But you’d just had it shaved off, so d’you know what I really saw first?”

“What?”

Steve giggles. “Your ears.”

Eddie groans and ducks his head, pressing his forehead into Steve’s chest. “Hated my ears.”

“I’m gonna say something that’s gonna sound mean, but is actually a compliment,” Steve warns him. “Your ears reminded me of Dumbo. I always loved that movie, the reminder that we don’t have to change who we are in order to be loved. That sometimes the things we hate most about ourselves, the things people tease us about the most, are actually the things that help us most, in the end.” He guides Eddie to lay down. “And I’m not saying your ears are what saved you. But I am saying they reminded me that everything, maybe, isn’t entirely hopeless.” He smiles, tucks Eddie’s hair behind his ear. Says, “I like your ears.”

Said ear burns red. “You’d be one of the few.”

“That’s okay.”

“What’s your thing? Your… ears?”

Steve hums. “Did you know I cried a lot as a kid? I was very emotional, very easily moved. My dad always hated it, so I learned to cover it up. But I think it’s what got me here in the end. I could’ve told Dustin I didn’t have time to help him, but I didn’t. I got roped into this whole mess, but it’s how I got to know him and the kids. It’s how I got to know Robin and you.”

Eddie smiles. “I’m glad you cried as a kid.”

Steve laughs. “Yeah. Me too.” He shifts, a little closer, a little more down the bed so their eyes are level. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

“There’s nothing I want less.”

“D’you think you can sleep?”

Eddie takes a breath. Steve feels the exhale over his cheek. “Maybe.”

“M’kay. Lemme know if you can’t.”

“Okay. I won’t.”

“Eddie.”

He giggles. “I’m kidding. I’ll let you know. I just… won’t stop talking at you until you answer.”

Steve hums, lets his eyes slip shut. “I’ll always answer.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, so soft. It makes something warm unfurl in Steve’s chest. “I know you will.”

Steve reaches out, squeezes Eddie’s hand in answer. Lets sleep drag him down the way it’s wanted to since he lay back down.

He doesn’t think about the fact that their hands are still clasped.

He’s the first one up in the morning, and he’s a little annoyed by it because they’d shifted during the night, so Steve is no longer facing Eddie.

His annoyance lasts for all of two seconds before he realizes there’s a warm weight behind him and over his hip, and he figures out it’s because Eddie is behind him, arm over Steve’s hip, fingers curled against the little bit of skin visible from Steve’s shirt riding up during the night.

Steve smiles, sighs, and lets his eyes sink shut again.

He doesn’t sleep, just kind of drifts, so he feels it when Eddie wakes up. He feels him tense in a stretch, feels his forehead press against Steve’s spine, feels his fingers curl farther into Steve’s stomach.

He feels Eddie wake up fully and realize the position he’s in. Feels him hum, then stiffen, slowly pulling away. Steve aches about it, but doesn’t move until he’s out of bed completely, taking the time then to roll over as if he’d just woken up. “M’rn’n,” he mumbles, not exaggerating the sleep-rough in his voice at all.

“Mornin’,” Eddie yawns. “How’d you sleep?”

Steve hums, stretches, sits up. “Think I should be asking you that.”

Eddie smiles. “I slept fine. Now how about you?”

“No more nightmares?”

“Not at all. Think you chased ‘em all away.”

“Good.”

“Steve.”

“What?”

“How did you sleep?”

“Oh. Fine. Great.”

Eddie hums, but takes his word for it, offers his hand to help Steve up, which he accepts.

“Can I ask you something that I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna want to answer?”

Eddie grins crookedly. “You can ask me anything, Stevie. If I don’t wanna answer, I won’t.” He sits back on the bed, next to Steve. “What is it?”

“What was your dad like?”

Eddie blows out a breath, looks away. “Jesus, first thing in the morning, too. Uh… y’know how you said your dad is a grade-A asshole?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. Last I heard, he’s in the state prison for the next… five? Ten? Years. I dunno, don’t really keep track. Was just little things at first, petty theft, then he got an ego and started stealing cars, met a guy who could clean ‘em, and he just…” he shakes his head. “Wayne says he got too big for his britches. I say he got what was coming to him. He tried to rob someone and it… didn’t go well. He got caught, the owner tried to scare him off, swung first, but it doesn’t matter who swung first when he’s dead and my dad was trespassing, right? Tried to say it was self-defense, but…”

“But he was trespassing,” Steve nods.

“Exactly. He got twenty-five for that, and it’s been… twelve years? So I guess he’s got… thirteen left. Not five or ten. Guess it feels like he’s been gone that long.” He sighs. “I went to live with Wayne before that, though… I had a friend, he was my best friend, and my dad… really didn’t like how close we were. Spit out a couple’a slurs, said something about sending me to a camp.” Steve’s breath catches. “I called Wayne that night. Poor guy drove that night, was there by… one in the morning? Picked me up and I’ve never looked back.” He shrugs, picks at his comforter. “Turns out Dad was right about me, but Wayne’s never had an issue, so.” He shrugs. His fingers belie his nerves.

“I think, if I were to ever tell my dad,” Steve says quietly, “a camp would be the least of my issues.”

Eddie’s fingers still for a second before continuing, not fidgeting quite as quickly as before. “Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Then it’s a good thing you don’t have to tell him.”

“I think I do, though.”

“How so?”

“He’s got this… way. Of just proving himself right, every time. It’s why I haven’t left yet. He always finds a way to twist it around and show me I can’t make it on my own. Not on my Family Video salary.”

Eddie hums. “Maybe not on your own,” he admits. “But with a person or two? There’s Family Videos in other cities. Ask to transfer. Robin’s been making noise about heading to Indy, right?”

“I think she just wants out of Hawkins, and Indy is the only feasible place to her.”

“Very understandable. Where would you go, Steve? If you could go anywhere?”

Steve sighs. “That’s the problem, though. I can’t leave the kids.”

Eddie chuckles. “I should’ve known. Then why not find a place in between? Maybe on the edge of town?”

“We’re still both on a Family Video salary. I don’t think even combined we could afford anything.” Steve tilts his head. “You said a person or two. Who’s the other person?”

“Ah,” Eddie says. “Well, not to come between the platonic soulmates, but I’m sure Wayne would love to have his life back.”

Steve snorts. “Robin loves you almost as much as I do, Eds, of course you’re welcome.”

Eddie ignores that, for the sake of his own sanity. “Well,” he says instead. “Maybe it’s time to take a crack at those newspapers Wayne’s been hoarding.”

“Maybe it is,” Steve says, a strange sort of smile playing across his lips. “And I can ask people. You’d be surprised at the amount of gossip I hear at work.”

“Oh, I believe it, trust me. Or are you forgetting I use to hang around Sam Goody?”

“Oh, god,” Steve laughs, “I had forgotten that, yeah.” He sighs. “D’you think we would’ve been friends back then? If we’d known each other?”

“I don’t think so.” Eddie chews at his bottom lip. “Not because of you, but because of me. I was still stuck in that high school hierarchal shit, y’know? I would’ve seen you as an asshole jock even though you weren’t anymore.”

“I think I’m still working on it.”

“I think we’re all working on being who we want to be.” He stands and offers Steve a hand up with a grin. “And y’know what helps with that?”

Steve chuckles, places his hand in Eddie’s. “What’s that?”

“Pancakes,” he says decisively. “C’mon, let’s go bully Wayne into making us some.”

“And by bully, you mean ask once.”

Eddie hums. “Same difference.”

He waltzes into the living room, arms spread wide. “Sir Wayne! Our visiting prince has requested pancakes this fine morn.”

Wayne squints at him. “I’m your king, dipshit,” he says, lip quirked up in a smile as he winks at Steve. “Make your own damn pancakes.”

“Wayne!” Eddie cries. “Betrayal! Betrayal of the highest order!”

“You’ll live,” Wayne deadpans. Steve giggles.

Eddie narrows his eyes at Wayne. “Fine,” he says. “We will make our own. But there shall be no extra for you, sir!”

Following him to the kitchen, Steve says, “We’ll make extra.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Wayne returns, “but I’d ‘preciate it.”

In the kitchen, Eddie sighs with his head halfway in a cabinet. “Okay, so we don’t have mix.”

“That’s okay,” Steve says. “I can make them from scratch.”

“Or,” Eddie says, turning to Steve with a grin. “We can go out.”

“We could,” Steve allows. “But then Wayne wouldn’t get any.”

Eddie hops backwards onto the counter and leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “Y’know how I said we wouldn’t have been friends if we’d met earlier?”

“Yeah.”

“It really would’ve been entirely my fault.” He sighs. “You’re just… so nice. And it would’ve been unbelievable, for me, because the Munson Doctrine dictates that all jocks are assholes and stay jockish assholes. I think what happened… had to happen, if we were gonna be friends.”

Steve worries his lip. “Then… is it bad if I say I’m glad it happened? If only for that reason?”

“Only if I’m also glad it happened, for that reason,” Eddie responds quietly. “Y’know the only other person I’ve told about my ma is Jeff?”

“I’m…” he pauses, scrunching his nose. “I wanna say I’m honored, but that sounds weird.”

Eddie chuckles. “I know what you mean, Stevie.”

Steve nods, and they stay there for a minute, looking at each other, until Steve looks away with a sigh. “Alright,” he says, pancakes?”

Eddie gusts out a sigh. “Please.”

Steve chuckles and shoves the flour towards Eddie. “Here. Two cups.”

Eddie frowns. “Only?”

“For now. We can always make more later if we need to.”

Eddie shrugs, but nods at Steve, as if deferring to his expertise. “D’you have eggs?”

“Uh.” Eddie checks the fridge, then the cabinet. “No, but we’ve got Spam?”

Steve snorts. “That works. Wanna cut up a can and fry it?”

“Works for me.”

And so they work, side by side, until breakfast is ready and they’re all three eating side by side.

After, Wayne stretches in his seat, glances at the clock, and mutters something underneath his breath as he gets up. “Thanks for breakfast, boys. Steve, you gonna be here for dinner?”

“Uh,” Steve says, glancing at Eddie. “Unless Ed kicks me out.”

“Never,” Eddie swears. 

“I’ll pick up burgers on my way back,” Wayne decides. “That work for you two?”

“Definitely,” Eddie nods.

“Sure. Thank you, Wayne.”

“Son,” Wayne starts, then shakes his head. 

Steve gets the message: he belongs here. His cheeks burn. “Thanks, Wayne,” he murmurs.

Wayne ruffles his hair as he passes.

“So,” Eddie asks, once it’s just the two of them. “Any plans for the day?”

Steve makes a face. “I gotta work at two, but I’m free till then.”

Eddie snorts. “Lemme guess, you’re working alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Well not today!” Eddie says brightly. “Why don’t I come with?”

Steve blinks. “Because… why would you?”

“Cause you’re my friend, Stevie. I wanna hang out with you but I can’t do that if you’re at work and I’m here.”

Steve snickers. “I guess we can talk about moving in together. Tuesdays are always the slowest day of the week.”

“Yeah! Wayne’s got the papers around here somewhere.” He trails off, looking around, then bounds over to the TV with a triumphant, “Ha!” He reaches into the crate the TV’s sitting on and pulls out a stack of newspapers. “Okay, we don’t want anything from last year… beginning of this year might be too old…” he hesitates, looking at Steve. “Maybe since Spring Break? A lot of people moved out.”

Steve hums, moves closer. “Good point. There’s bound to be something on the edge of town.” He sighs as he sits next to Eddie. “The only problem is Robin doesn’t have a car, or even her license. And if I’m working here, and she’s trying to work in Indy, how’s she gonna get there?”

“Well,” Eddie begins, “who says you have to stay at Family Video? Why not stretch your wings out? Try something else? Indy’s a big city with lots of opportunity. How about this.” He shifts so he’s facing Steve. “If you could do anything in the world, work anywhere, what would you do? Where would you work?”

Steve fidgets with his pant leg as he thinks. “A bakery,” he decides softly.

Eddie stills for a moment. “I feel like I should’ve seen that coming. You’d be a great baker, Steve. Or if you want to just sell the baked goods, you’d be great at that, too. Hawkins is small enough we don’t have need for a bakery. Not when you can get everything you need at Melvald’s. But Indy’s big. I pass by two bakeries every time I head into the city.” He puts a hand on Steve’s knee. “Stay at Family Video for now. But when we move, you can apply to those places. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Steve nods. He can feel his cheeks heating up, feel the excitement coursing through his body. “You really think I could?”

“Steve.” Eddie sighs. “I think you are so much better than you see. I think you can do anything.”

“I dunno about anything.” Steve ducks his head as he blushes. “But, uh. Thank you.”

Eddie smiles. “For?”

Steve looks up at him. His breath catches, for a second, at the look in Eddie’s eyes. He looks away with a shrug even as his cheeks heat up. “Believing in me, I guess.”

“Anything,” Eddie promises again.

Steve looks at him again. Really looks, even as his cheeks heat uncomfortably warm. “…Anything?”

Without looking away, Eddie grabs his hand. Rubs his thumb over Steve’s knuckles. Whispers it again.

Steve leans in and kisses him.

Eddie kisses back.

[halohalona]

Letting Go

Old memories resurface so Logan reminds you who is truly there for you.

Logan Howlett x Reader

a/n: the fics I'm starting to write are getting more and more self indulgent and the situations are getting hyper-specific. Not only do I want to be with Logan, on so many different levels, he's also become such a comfort character to me (or maybe it's just hugh jackman idk). ANYWAY, this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now so enjoy the short fic

masterlist

warnings/tags: more emotional hurt/comfort, Logan is probably a little or a lot ooc here, I wanna specify this is the movie logan and not the comics, betrayal? idk, I probably forgot a few details about Wolverine here

Logan noticed you've been quiet recently. Not only that but you've been avoiding him. One time when you rounded a corner of the mansion's many hallways you immediately turned back the way you came when you saw him. Did he do something wrong? Every time he tried to talk to you, you would run away.

He asked Ororo if she knew what was going on but she didn't know either. He asked Jean but she didn't know anything either, but he did find out that you've been avoiding everyone. Scott, Ororo, Jean, Hank— not just him. It even came to the point where he asked the professor himself and all he said was, “She needs her space.”

He was at the library looking for a specific textbook he needed for his next class when he heard sniffling from a secluded corner of the library— your corner. You told him once that you've pretty much claimed that part of the library for yourself since it was secluded and quiet enough that no one would bother you as you worked.

He slowly and quietly walked over. Sure enough you were there. Your laptop was in front of you, folders neatly stacked around you on the table, and your bag placed on the side facing the main library, likely to hide your face.

He sat in front of you, gently moving the folders to the side before speaking.

“Hey.” he said softly.

You jumped and quickly wiped your face but your head was still down. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you crying, of course I'm gonna go check on you. You've been avoiding me all week. Something's going on, and as your boyfriend I want to know.”

You don't say anything.

“Is this about Eve?”

Silence.

He leans back on the chair crossing his arms. “You know that was years ago right?”

Eve was a close friend of yours. You both have been friends for almost two years back in high school. She was someone who stood by you through your toughest times, and at the time there was a lot, specially since that was same point in your life your mutation decided manifest. But then you guess they got sick and tired of having to deal with what you were going through with you because one day you learned from your best friend, who was a mutual friend of yours, that she planned on cutting you off. You don't remember exactly what she said but one thing was clear to you, she no longer wanted any relationship with you, not even an acquaintance. What stuck with you was the promise she made a year prior: “If you think I'm gonna leave you, I won't,” which ended up being a lie.

It's been years, you know that it's time to move on, but every now and then it haunts you. You've been keeping people at arms length since then, not sharing much about yourself aside from the basics: name, age, and what you like to do in your free time. Although you've opened up a bit when you started dating Logan, you've share a few things about Eve, but you still hold back in fear of the whole thing to happen again.

“You have to let it go. I'm not saying this to be dismissive, I'm saying it because holding on to it will prevent you from finding people who actually care for you.” he unfolds his arms and leans on the table closer to you. “Like I've said before, if she was able to let you go so easily, then maybe she wasn't a good friend to begin with.”

He walks over to your side of the table and kneels beside you. Gently, he places his hand on the side of your face lifting it up to make you look at him.

“I know it hurts to be abandoned by someone you cared for deeply, but dwelling on what happened won't bring them back. It's time for you to focus on the people who genuinely care about you. Ororo, Jean, Hank, Scott, pretty much everyone in the mansion, and of course me.”

Your eyes start to well up again, a couple tears escape, sliding down your cheek. Logan gently brushes them away.

“I know she's told you this but when I say I won't leave you, no matter how hard things get, I mean it. I love you and I care for you, remember that.”

You look into his eyes for any sign of deceit and seeing none, he genuinely means it. So for the first time in years, you trust those words. You lean your forehead on his “I believe you. And thank you.” you whisper.

[tastelikezweig]

DUVET

well patrick and tashi had just finished arguing, their voices echoing through the dormitory's thin walls. in a fit of anger, patrick stormed out of her room, a duffle bag clutched tightly in his hand, his clothes hastily thrown in. he was left standing in the hallway in nothing but his boxers.

as he rounded the corner, his pace quickened, desperation evident in his every step. suddenly, he collided with you, sending his clothes scattering across the floor.

"patrick?!" you shrieked, rubbing your forehead. "why are you naked?"

a groan of frustration escaped his lips, accompanied by the mocking giggles of a few girls nearby. embarrassment flushed his cheeks as he pleaded, "can you just unlock your door so i can get dressed?" he was fortunate you lived on the same floor as tashi.

with panicked fingers, you fumbled for your keys. they slipped from your grasp, hitting the floor with a metallic clink. he facepalmed. "fuck, you're kidding me," he whined.

"relax," you sighed, squatting down to retrieve the keys. finally, you managed to unlock the door, and he barged in, quickly pulling on his clothes. he sank into the chair at your desk to put on his shoes as you slipped into your comfy pajamas.

patrick's eyes followed you as you changed into a pair of cheeky shorts, his gaze lingering with surprise and distraction.

"why were you roaming the halls naked, patrick?" you asked, snapping him out of his daze.

"me and tashi got into it, before we were– you know!" he shrugged, a forced frown tugging at his lips. he shook his head as if he was replaying the argument in his mind. "she's such a narcissist," he muttered, slouching.

you climbed onto your bed, letting the comforter envelop you. "i just—" he began, "go ahead, i'm listening," you said, as you pulled the covers over your head.

"i need a place to stay tonight," he sighed, his eyes pleading for your sympathy.

you groaned, the reluctance evident in your voice. patrick scoffed from across the room. "what about art?" you suggested, hoping he'd take the hint. "ugh... his roommate's in there. and he's weird," patrick complained, scrunching up his face. "pleaaaase," he begged, his pout almost comical.

"ugh! fine!" you relented, rolling your eyes. "i'll be out first thing in the morning anyway," he promised, pumping a fist in the air. "whatever," you muttered, "no farting, patrick, or i swear—"

he cut you off, running over to your bed and smothering your cheeks with kisses. he then stepped out of his shoes and jeans, pulling your throw blanket from the bed onto the floor. "can i have a pillow?" he asked, half-polite, half-sarcastic.

"i only have two," you replied, eyes closed.

"and you only have one head," he retorted, pulling the pillow from beneath your head. you landed on another you had below it. your eyes snapped open. "i'm regretting my decision already," you gritted, punching his arm.

"shhh," he hushed, squishing your face. you swatted his hand away. he turned off the main light, leaving the moonlight to cast a soft glow over the room.

patrick made a makeshift bed on the floor, the white noise from your small desk fan filling the silence. after a moment, he called out your name, knowing you weren't asleep. "do you wanna cuddle?" he asked.

what . . .

"just get up here, patrick," you said. you heard him immediately shuffle to his feet, grabbing the pillow and blanket from the floor. he crawled over you, snuggling up under your warmth. "we can't tell tashi," he whispered against your neck.

"fucking hell, patrick. close your mouth and go to sleep!"

the next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. on your desk was a hastily scribbled note: "thank you for taking me in." beside it sat a melted, watered-down smoothie, from patrick before he left at 5 a.m. you shook your head, picking up the cup.

"is this even drinkable?" you wondered aloud, throwing your head in exasperation.

current obsession:)))

[numbuh-72]

Artist's Message/Update

Hey everyone! Artsy_Lexi here!

Hope everyone has been doing all right and staying safe out there!

I have some stuff I would like to say in regards to Numbuh 72's blog and the plans for what's to come in the future, so buckle up and grab a can of soda!

First off, I wanna thank the people who've been around to support me and my work ever since I returned to Tumblr under Numbuh 72, you guys are all amazing and I've been having a blast starting to know some of you guys, through my fellow mutuals~. I will say, ideas continue to develop in my head for stuff to draw and interact with you guys and have some fun with our characters!

With that in mind, I'm already almost to 25 followers on here! I do plan on doing a small celebration for this milestone that's already about to be achieved, so once I hit it, stick around for a DTIYS art challenge and be on the lookout for a new hashtag that I will put for my oc, Gianna Chavez!

Aside from that though, allow me to give yall an update for what I plan to do to...better organize this blog;

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I have a lot of ideas for this blog that's been running around my head for ages now and I've been struggling on what idea to do first; This would include

Alternate Universes (FNF, Roblox, Little Brother, etc.)

Finishing up OC Ref sheets, well, updated versions of them-

RP Doodles for RPs that I'm doing as we speak

LOG Data (I've been typing away for days on some of these to catch up on the stuff-)

Creating my own Headcanon for Sector V and other canon characters (Basically a universe for Gianna-)

And so much more!!!!

Don't worry though, I'm gonna be taking as much time as needed to be able to properly organize all of these awesome ideas, though I think for the meantime, I'm gonna try and focus on Gianna's main storyline that involves her improvement on the Treatment Program and how she will successfully get out of it!

Most of her adventures she will have, I plan to maybe do them via roleplays or from doing asks with all my moots and at one point, involve them in the main storyline for Gianna! (That is of course, I get consent for those that see this~)

So the LOG Data you see, those are actual reflections from roleplays that I have completed or in progress that I think are considered worthy for Gianna to report, for this is part of her program to see if she has been improving or not during the course.

I might even at one point ask for help now and then from my friends to gib ideas and of course properly credit them since they are all amazing~

As far as how I will tell the story on here, I have some ideas of doing Arcs with chapters, following with illustrations now and then, or maybe attempt to do a comic series. Who knows, we shall see~

I'm hoping though to try and get more asks in her inbox since sadly it's been empty for the most part and I was hoping people were curious to know her more while I work on some stuff on the side.

Don't worry though! Everything's all good! I'm just pushing a gentle reminder that the Asks are open for Gianna and the ocs listed that are open for questions~ <3

Now inspired by the lovely @kandykatz's way of their organizing their master posts, I might go for that way of organizing my stuff properly, or might do some twists, who knows, still gotta figure that out-

I...think that's all I have for now in what's the plan for this blog, if anything comes to mind I will edit this post or maybe do a part 2.

Thanks guys for taking the time to read! I hope to continue cooking up in the kitchen with yall and have some fun here~

[nixierain]

Alright poll time I will hopefully remember and find

Woah I havent showed you much of these, but a recap anyway about the and just an intro ig under the cut if you wanna learn more, feel free to ask questions too!!

DoveTech/LividMetals: Rival companies taking place in California, both majoring in robotics and experimentation. Lots of lore. Makn inspirations: Qualia Automata (Team 6x111) and FNAF. Yall should know about the Fritz family by now, I also got an rp blog for this at @dovetechandlividmetals

Bromind Deities: Bromind is one of my main worlds (2nd newest world as well), the deities were created by the Goddess light and split into two sections; The Astral deities and the Terestrial Deities. The Astrals being; Neptune, Void and Nebula and the Terestrials being; Myca and Fawn (theyre gay). They control over different things. And theres a hierarchy ofc!

Bromind False deities: This plot focuses on Siri (the False deity of the stars) and when she was rejected by Light for Nebula. Then Siri gets vengeful and with Voids help she makes a new hierarchy

Fumbling: Follows Liam and Mason's journey through Harkton Boarding highschool, and being gay they find friends with; Dereck (Drake), Dixie, River, Reef, Kayla and Addicus. Though since middle school our two mc's have been bullied by Mark and his friends. Though some things happen and everything goes askew, throwing thier whole life off balance. This is my gay story, and L and M were my first Gay characters (shocking aint it) I made them in 7th grade

Deadbeat Outlaws (DBO): This story follows two trouble makers, Zach and Craz. The lore has changed a LOT since when I first made it, though I kept the name. Its not fully completed and I don't know how much I want to change so I dont have much to put here

Hellena stuff: this has a LOT of lore and came even before Dragonopolis, like I grew up with this world cause its my lego world that got shaped into this. So the story would be one of many that are with the three heros, Nate, Flower and Nightshade. Nate and Flower have also been tied to DoveTech. But this would focus on their hecktic life of being hero's and going insane to the point where one goes evil and takes over, forcing the other two to have to save the lives, and a lot more!

11:11: Follows the story of a 14 year old girl with ADHD who wishes to not be bored one morning while she eats breakfast, this wish comes true and she gets transported to Trifullium and meets Fenn, the two have to work together to get Mayabelle (the girl) home, eventually falling in love in the process.

Everdollskin: my ragdoll world thing! And my most recent world I've built. Unsure of what part you want me to focus on, but itd probably be either Fargo and Evendor's story and Evan and Bens! Full lf twists and turns and of course Ragdolls and horrors, tears and all!

Apollo: Sooooo, Apollo is one of my newest Oc's, hes got a bunch of lore already though. So he's one of my Yandere's. I know he looks gay (people are arguing with me when I say hes "straight" sl we made a compramise and said he only likes one oerson and that happens to be a girl, and also ig hes bi) But he meets Mae and falls totally head over heels for her, but she... HATES him. Now join him in stalking his new found obsession and killing off anyone she dates!

[jayspaceinc]

Kori’s Name

Written: 2/4/22

[Author’s note: over time, I will be posting as much side content/AU content as I can (that doesn’t include spoilers) so I can build up an audience :) Kori is just one of 6 main characters in the Are We Dead Yet? Book and other characters will have their own appearances/stories uploaded as well in time]

"So, I know you're not a huge fan of talking about your past but I'd love to hear how you chose the name Kori," Celia said with eyes full of wonder as she sat on Kori's bed in her apartment.

"It's not that interesting of a story. I've told you before."

"That was just the summarised version though. All you said was you saw a comic book with the name and chose that character. What's the full thing?"

Kori sighed. She knew her friend was never going to let this go and it was better she just told the whole thing to avoid any issues. "Fine I'll tell you but dont get upset if its nauseatingly boring. About 6 months before I met you, I had fully accepted that I wasn't a boy and never had been."

*this may be set in the past but out of respect to Kori as a character and being, we will remain using the correct name and pronouns lest the situation call for it*

12 year old Kori sat along their quite large dinner table where her, her parents, and numerous siblings had decided to gather. Her father was going through their usual dinner where they boasted of their accomplishments for the day. Somehow everyone had done something amazing throughout the day besides her time and time again. But she was so glad to share this new revelation with her family.

"Hanbin, what was your accomplishment today?"

Kori wiped her sweaty hands on her pants. "…I figured out something today."

Now, Kori had known about trans people since she was six from her kindergarten sex ed class. She was fully familiar and understanding of the concept of one changing from one gender to another. "I wanna be a girl."

Silence fell across the table. Apparently they hadn't gotten that memo that that was such a thing. Her family chose to stay closed off to the social political issues that was seeing a resurgence in modern times. Sure, they knew about trans people, but they were either unacknowledged or shamed in their presence.

"What are you talking about, Hanbin?" One of her older brothers roared with laugher. "You don't wanna be a girl just because you like men."

She frowned. She didn't like men. Not in that way really, all of her crushes in the past had been women. "But, I don't like boys. I like girls and I want to be one."

"What would you even go by if you were a girl?" Another brother asked.

"I dont know.. I haven't thought about it that much yet.. but what does it matter? A name isn't everything."

"It might be time for you to switch prescriptions again, you've got that crazy look in your eyes."

Her father, who wouldn't even tease the idea of his son being gay or trans switched topics, "Did you sign up for the swim team like I asked you, Hanbin?"

Kori's brief confidence fell under his harsh tone. "I meant to.. but I forgot.“ she quickly bowed her head and apologised in Korean as her father chose to ignore the other half of their lineage and raised them as if they were pure Korean.

"Then that's your goal for tomorrow," and with that, they moved onto someone else.

But Kori wasn't letting go of this girl thing. Her brother was right. She needed a new name that fit her better. Hanbin was a perfectly respectable name for a Korean boy. But she wasn't a Korean boy, was she? She went to the World Library and went through a trial of ups and downs and lefts and rights trying to find a new name on the public computers. She looked up most popular names, unique names, even Korean names since she didn't hate her heritage that much and maybe her father would come around to it more if it was Korean. She'd played with a few of them, pretending she had friends that could even call her such a thing.

"'Jiah you look so pretty today.' 'Yeah Jiah, you're such a pretty girl.' Hm... I don't know if it sounds good enough. What do you think?" Kori turned to her little siblings she'd been forced to pick up and babysit after school. But then she noticed her little brother was missing. Of course, he was. "Where did Sukchin go, Hyunjae?"

The 5 year old toddler shrugged her shoulders. This was just great. She'd never hear the end of it if anyone found out she'd lost him for even two seconds.

Her brothers' words from the dinner a few nights previous were really bothering her. How was she crazy for seeing that she was a girl? If anything, this was the happiest she'd been in this shit family. She hated her short hair cut and her already quite masculine features that were starting to show thanks to the luxuries of puberty. But girls were so pretty and she longed to be just like the ones she saw on TV and magazine covers. After a bit of search, she found her little brother had wandered into the comic book section messing with some of the comics on the lower shelf. He'd already knocked off quite a few on the floor. Kori crouched down on the ground and started to clean up his mess. The comic books were obviously old but in flawless condition. She saw this beautiful tan woman with a crazy mane of pink hair and glowing green eyes. She was so pretty. And that wasn't her only appearance. She was in so many of these covers, always looking astonishing and beautiful at all times. She was the main character of her life for sure while Kori had always felt like a background character in hers. She flipped through a few of the comics where she remained as stunning as her cover image. She was funny and kind of ditzy but powerful and nice. Everything Kori wanted to be.

Kori ended up checking out as much of their collection as the library would allow and became obsessed with reading the series. Once she'd completed all of what the library had, she reached out to other sources on the internet where she soon discovered there was so much more to this illustrious character. Her family was more than unhinged like Kori's and her love life seemed a bit rocky given how often her boyfriend tended to cheat on her. When she'd finally reached the end of all that the internet had to give, she decided she couldn't just let this character go now that she had finished their story. She wanted to keep a part of her with her at all times. The girls name was Koriander but Kori thought it might disrespectful to take her entire name as her own so she dropped the second half until a few more years to come. Hanbin would be no more and out of the ashes would arise Kori. Kind of cool when you think about it. She did sort of resonate with Raven a bit more than she had intended to but she wanted to separate herself from her bleak depressing past and try to be more open in the future.

"And your accomplishment for the day, Hanbin?"

"I've been thinking about what you guys said a few months ago and.. I finally settled on a name. I wanna go by Kori."

Once again, no one really knew how to respond. It was easy to beat around the bush last time but this was much more direct.

"Is that Korean..?"

"No, but it's still a kicka-- awesome name. I like it. I wanna start going by it. That's my accomplishment: I found my name."

"When are you dropping this act, Hanbin? Do you want attention, is that it? Maybe if you did something noteworthy, you'd get it. But enough with this sickening joke you've been keeping on," Her father said, his words cutting her deep.

Kori blinked away the tears in her eyes. "I'm serious.. I don't know why you can't accept that." She left the dinner table and went up to her room that she had started to decorate more femininely over the past three months. Unfortunately, no one had acknowledged her name. Not at home or in school. She had to obtain her parent's signature for a roster change and that wasn't going to happen. So she just kept being Hanbin.. no one wanted her to be anything but. Even after growing out her hair for months, her gender was being ignored everywhere she went. So much for being more open. Once her family had discovered that this Kori thing wasn't going away, they switched her prescription which only made her feel worse. At least she had her books. She could immerse herself in that and pretend that she was the main character somewhere no matter how mythical it could be.

Kori was pretty much the only one who called herself that. Everyone in this town knew her family so they never called her the correct name. That was until she met some strange girl in the park a few months later.

Celia had been the only one to see Kori for what she was and call her by her correct name. The name she so deeply resonated with and loved. She'd probably never actually tell Celia this was but it was one of the happiest moments in her otherwise shitty life.

If you made it to the end, hello again 🥸 I will be very blunt and say Kori’s name was not always inspired by the comic book character 💀 it was Jiah in the first draft! But I think Kori seeing a beautiful woman and getting obsessed with the comics to the point that she literally adopts the name is so adorable. I knew I just wanted her to have the name Kori in the second draft and looped back around to the why so here it is :)

And if you liked this! Check out:

“When Did You Know?”

[zahri-melitor]

All the discussion of the guts of the video

This has been floating around my head for months now, particularly a few of the sequences. I had the shape of the pacing of the verses, particularly the Barbara introduction very early on, as well as knowing what issues I was going to rely heavily on for material.

I really wanted to use Something Just Like This as it's both an excellent song to set a ship to, but it also of course allowed a bunch of massive ironic moments for various lyrics.

I wanted it to be set in a pre-Flashpoint universe, so that Barbara was still Oracle. Which made finding enough DickBabs panels for the opening verse somewhat of a challenge, as I was only allowing myself pre-1988 material, legitimate flashbacks, and dream sequences. Batgirl Year One, you will always be famous (and have a very useful kiss). But I succeeded and I didn't even give in to the impulse when I was one panel short to use a Barbara and Jason panel from Gotham Knights #43, even though I was really really tempted. Instead I went through Batman Family from the 1970s and found something I could shoehorn in that sounded shippy.

I did use Lil Gotham, even though it's technically a n52 comic AND an alternate universe. But it has a bunch of very cute DickBabs moments with her wheelchair in them, putting it firmly into the storyline I was trying to convey. That's why all of the Lil Gotham scenes (apart from the one flashback) went into the post-proposal section.

We'll just say in terms of the story told in the video, Dick and Babs actually got back together following the proposal instead of what actually happened, and then they had many cute moments together as a couple.

Stuff I really want to point you at and go 'did you see did you see' because I had too much fun with it:-

'Achilles and his gold' - Bruce is of course Achilles here, and his Achilles heel has always been Dick, the boy wearing a gold cape.

'Spider-Man's control and Batman with his fists' - this was another really really early scene I knew. I wanted the World's Finest circus scene with Dick on the trapeze and Bruce catching him. To have Batman's 'fists' in this scene not be punching, but be catching, with all of the imagery that surrounds Dick and his issues about catching people? Yeeeeessss.

'And clearly I don't see myself upon that list. But she said, where'd you wanna go?' - this came together when I was picking panels. I wanted a lovely ironic moment for Dick about how he doesn't see himself as Batman, so the costume transition panel looked SO GOOD for that. And then...I remembered Dick and Babs' first meeting in Robin Year One actually contains the line 'Dad! Are you ready to go yet?!'. And the panels line up so it looks like Dick is sprinting away from Bruce to Barbara, particularly given where the blank white space is.

And then we launch into Batgirl Year One, the main anchor of good DickBabs content prior to both of their costume changes. It's very important to me that I put the giggling panel AFTER the kiss as 'I want something just like this' - what they want is not just the romance but the comfort and trust around each other.

Despite using Batgirl Year One, I still wanted librarian!Barbara with her multiple degrees, so we got two panels of that.

I am SO PROUD to have got oath scenes for both Dick and Babs into this, and I find it amusing I put them on different lines for each of Dick and Barbara. Dick got "the legends and the myths" because his candle oath is such an important part of the mythology of Batman. But Barbara's is on "the testaments they told", because for her the important part of the legends and the myths was choosing to wear an urban legend's costume to the party, while swearing fit best with the testaments.

'The moon and its eclipse' - this was the anchor the entire video revolved around. I had to acknowledge TKJ to get to Oracle, and that line was absolutely perfect. I also went through a BUNCH of panels to decide which one I wanted for the scene, but ultimately picked Gail Simone's n52 retelling, because that one doesn't include imagery of Barbara being shot; it just has the threat.

'And Superman unrolls a suit before he lifts' - this gave me SO MUCH ANGST let me tell you. I actually wanted to use the scenes of Clark flying Barbara for medical treatment in BOP #71 and #85, because I've always loved that moment - Dinah calls Clark in and Clark officially doesn't even know who Babs is at that point, but she's got deadly Brainiac Virus so they're going to do everything they can. And it worked for storytelling as it would be 'Superman transports Barbara Gordon after being shot'. But the associated panels were far less clear than in my memory. So instead I gave 'Superman' to Jim Gordon, and then launched into Oracle Year One and Bruce being a creeper (as opposed to the time he's a creeper during Brainiac. He likes sneaking through the window to stare at Barbara when she's ill).

'But I'm not the kind of person that it fits' this was just perfect for Barbara, because from here on out she doesn't wear a costume. She's Oracle. But teaming it with Oracle Year One and the fact that Babs still learnt new self defense afterwards makes the point that she hasn't stopped fighting.

And then we launch into the extremely Oracle Green scenes, showing off her competency. Including the fun of the 'cover the eyes' moment after an eyes focused panel. I was really happy to find something that worked for Barbara as Oracle and also for 'some fairytale bliss', because a LOT of backlit green computer scenes have grumpy or annoyed Barbara.

'Somebody I can miss' had to be the reunion during Cataclysm. Dick fought his way into Gotham to check on Barbara. They'd both been working so hard not to worry about the other as they did their jobs. And, of course, it made the perfect platform to launch into the most sick!fic of all DickBabs issues - the pair during NML after he gets out of Blackgate.

Which then leads into Joker Last Laugh and the NICE bit of their celebratory roadtrip right before Barbara gets the call from Dinah that that plot started. I adore I managed to line it up so the view on the drive appears just as the music calms, relaxing you. So we can have a lovely dinner followed by the 'Dick and Babs totally had sex' sleepover issues.

Third verse actually was ALWAYS going to be Our Worlds at War, because I think the Nightwing issue of it is underrated in terms of how blatantly shippy it is. Also the narrative of the issue actually fits the verse lyrics pretty well. It's one of Barbara's more badass workout gear looks that she tends to have during the issues when she's got to do things in person.

And of course I wanted to end the third verse with the proposal. Because proposal! I didn't want it too early, because I wanted everything after it to look like DickBabs in a stable, loving, long term relationship. Which is why we get the two shippy flying scenes (with catching! gotta have Dick catching imagery, combined with Barbara letting go of control), then I use 'Happy Birthday' to draw them over to Lil Gotham and Dick about to hand Barbara a present.

Having Lil Gotham here was really fun actually, as it's a continuity that has both Oracle AND DickBabs as a stable background fact, and just a bunch of cute moments between the two.

Then finally... a massive compilation storyline where I pull scenes from all over. After running reasonably canonically through a bunch of earlier storylines, putting together one that's just about the comfort Babs finds in having Dick around was really fun for me (also my Barbara stan nature confirmed)

[nyasialiveshere]

Fav dramas review : Heaven's Coin

Idk how to explain the ways I love old japanese dramas, but it's truly something occasionally and randomly I want to talk about. Hardly anyone has reviewed, recapped or discussed some of my favorite stuff in the media, but... I just feel that if only one person who never heard about it or hasn' t watched it in years can learn about a beautiful piece of work. Isn't that what art is all about. Countless times I've picked up albums that never charted or flew under the radar, but somehow it was either the best thing I'd listened to in years or spoke to me so deeply and directly, I was like I'm so glad nobody ever picked up this thing. I'm so glad it collected dust for years in a bookstore or comic shop cause if not then I'd probably never find it.

Especially in the internet age where due to how for profit everything has become it's no longer easy to find out about things that are no longer for sale or that have been locked in a vault so to speak. Jdrama's was a booming industry. Japan had dominated asian cinema for a long time since the 1950s possibly even before. They are master storytellers and love tucking in messages of morals all throughout the story even if the story is presented in an amoral way.

They make it clear that even though the villain isn't ever going to be truly punished and the hero might suffer more than they ever will. Right and wrong is so obvious even a child could understand it.

p.s this review is very bias

Main characters Takumi, Aya and Shuichi (with his annoying self)

That is where Heaven's Coin come in. Loosely based off of a German fairy tale of a girl who gives away all of her coins to everyone until she is left with nothing but later given the stars in return.

First off this is taking place in the 90s the pinnacle of Dramas putting disabled characters in the forefront of television. To americans this is no big deal because we see in comparasion a lot of diversity in television. But in Japan and Asia due to discrimination it is considered taboo and a lot of time disabled characters were often not shown or ignored.

The main character Aya is amazing and is the strength of the entire show. She is shown as smart, crafty and able to think her way around situations where people underestimate her. She was extremely well written and not made into a stereotype at all. Women in this show surprisingly are not cliche like you would assume coming from a conservative country like Japan. They all have a distinct personality and go toe to toe with the male character. Not like you would see in modern shows where women are kind of masculinized in order to seem tougher than men, nor like when women catch temper tantrums to get what they want. In fact the female characters seem more level headed and it's the male characters that are more irrational and emotional. Usually acting in their own selfish interest leaving the women to pick up the pieces and figure out how to go on. Aya was abandoned as a child and had to learn how to survive through being very perceptive to emotions, facial expressions and reading lips. She doesn't let people get in her way, but has a soft heart and puts other people before her self in pretty much every situation.

I fell in love with the character after realizing she was always sacrificing herself for others even in situations where she didn't know what was going on. I don't wanna say the character was made with a feminist lens in mind, but I do think the use of female characters in the show is multifaceted. The males have more power, but the women have more strength if that makes sense.

Shuichi is nice overall, but to me he taught me that kindness and weakness is the worst combo one can have. To me his inability to make a decision always ended up hurting those who he loved most. He was selfish and with his desire to always be the good guy and seem impartial he caused destruction everywhere he went. He never stuck to anything he said and was always going back and forth trying to have it all. I believe that concerning the love triangle he was only there to keep confusing Aya. What I mean is he only went to the small country village Aya lived to mess with his father, a big city doctor, who wanted his son to take his place. Then later on when back in the city he becomes engaged to a rich heiress breaking Aya's heart.

I understand he lost his memory and everything, but the reality is he should of taken the woman he loved with him. Getting confused and falling in love with someone else is a curveball. But he should of been a man and confessed his plans to his family instead of keeping it all hidden. That right there shows that he was ashamed. Aya sadly due to believing she would never find anyone who loved her passionately fell for Shuichi because she believed he was the first and only person who would ever love and care for her, so she should take what she can get. Even after everything was settled Shuichi still couldn't be a man and do what he needed to do for Aya. But in the end Aya was abandoned as a child so she was used to being ignored and avoided. So Shuichi's lame I'll love you from afar style worked for her because it was what she was used to. Anyway personally he gets on my nerves a bit and should have left Aya alone after he got his memory back.

Last but not least, Takumi. Portrayed as the loyal son to Shuichi's prodigal son......or vice versa. He is the one who stayed in the family and did as his parents desired. He is all the more screwed up for it to. Not only is he a playboy with mother wounds, he also has dad issues. He's shown as a screwed up hopeless individual. He's emotionally volatile and takes his anger out on anyone in his way. He is also shown as the one who tries to get in the way of Aya and Shuichi's true love. He falls in instalove with Aya and immediately becomes semi obsessed with her and stops his playboy antics and even becomes more mature and sensitive for her. Believing she is an innocent woman and can redeem him. He obviously thinks she will never have any opportunities with other men, so she is stuck with him so to speak. It seems he likes that idea very much. But when he finds out his brother is her true object of affection he snaps and turns violent on both Aya and his brother. Now saying all that it might seem like the show would end there and he'd be gotten rid of like any villain but no. Despite his outburst and violence he is almost shown to be the true hero of the show. Falling deeper and deeper in love with Aya the more he becomes aware of her affection for his brother. It may be related to his insecurity about his father loving his brother more than he loved him and wanting to beat his brother. Or remembering that he never got the sweet affection from his mother as a child and wants it from Aya. It's hard to say

The show is emotionally complex and even though I hate medical drama's typically; I couldn't help but love this show. It was interesting, emotional and had a very human vibe to it.

Aya and Takumi were the most interesting because usually it's the woman in a movie or show that wants to change herself for a guy but here it's reversed. It's Takumi who behaves more like a girl with a crush concerning Aya and works hard to both communicate with her but also win her love. It's problematic, but I can see where the writers were coming from. It's supposed to be off putting and conflicting. Shuichi was quiet and reserved and Takumi was brash and loud, but in the end Shuichi ended up hurting more people with his inaction than Takumi did with his hands.

It's from an era where writers took a bit more chances with daring storytelling...7/10 it's a short show but it's so interesting and has rewatch potential. The actors played the heck out of the characters to the point where it really felt natural.

Also yes it is on available in different places on the int. There is a third season that I have never found, it looks very tropical lmao but I doubt it takes place on the beach they just did it to look cool I think. No idea where this one is but can they please film more drama's like this it looks so Blue Lagoon (I watched it on tv when I was 15 in 2015ish idk on cable and the film style is like better than they do today there's a lifetime remake but its not very good) but anyway it looks great but impossible to find.

[wildissylupus]

Okay. I know this sounds terrible. But I am a fiend for drama. The whole new blood comic, and the Voicelines that go along with the game.

I desperately want to see lines being crossed.

Now I'm not saying 'hey lets have history repeat itself again, yeah! Let's do that!'. No no no.

I wanna see each character go through some sort of struggle getting used to the team. Someone may overstep boundaries with certain situations.

I'm pretty sure Cassidy said something about people like them 'doing whatever it takes'.

And that could definitely effect how they handle certain situations.

All I'm saying is that no group is 100% perfect.

'New Blood' will definitely be shed at some points.

LORD YOU ARE SO RIGHT-

One thing I think will definitely cause conflict between the New Bloods is Zarya's view on Omnics. Most of the New Bloods have no real opinion on Omnics, most of them being positive. But Zarya has only recently been going into the direction of accepting Omnics, even then we can see she has a long road a head of her. The big problem is that Cassidy, out of all the New Bloods, is the most accepting towards Omnics, especially with his dynamic with Echo. So her being hostile towards Echo might cause some serious internal conflict, and considering that Cassidy has a very similar story to Zarya, they both lost parents, they both had to give up they're dreams in order to protect/survive, I doubt he'd let her use what's happening in Russia as an excuse. Though I do believe Cassidy would be understanding if she immediately backtracks and clarifies that she's trying to change her behaviour, something we see happening.

That would definitely be a part of the overstepping boundaries part of the equation.

With the whole "doing whatever it takes" statement, I think it's about them all willing to risk they're lives and the mission to protect the people they care about or to do what's right. We see it with Cassidy on multiple occasions, we see it with D.VA in "Shooting Star" where we find out her ultimate is actually an incredibly risky thing to do, we see it with Baptiste and risking his life to save a traitor of Overwatch in order to try and protect the information of ex-Overwatch agents, we see Zarya abandon her mission in "Searching" in order to save Lynx, we see it with Pharah when people tell her to take a break and she refuses.

They all put they're own well being on the line in order to do what they think is right.

As for history repeating itself, I don't want that to happen either. However, I want to see characters learning from they're pasts. I said before that I think the New Bloods and the Original Strike Team mirror eachother, but specifically I said Pharah and Reaper mirror eachother and I think that is the main thing that will cause contention.

Cause everyone says Pharah is like Ana. No one but Cassidy would pick up she's going down a dark path.

Both Pharah and Reyes have the same "change the system from within" mind set. We see it with Reyes countless times and we see it in Pharah with her interactions with Kiriko. They are also both stubborn and are quick to hostility.

Do I think Pharah is gonna end up like Reaper? No. Cassidy and Ana would die before that happened. However, I do see conflicts rising within the New Bloods because of this, especially with Cassidy and Pharah.

I think another thing that should be mentioned is that compared to the stuff that the other New Blood members do, D.VA is way more reckless then them. What she did in "Shooting Star" was borderline suicidal and she was lucky to be alive. I see that being a big concern for everyone else, especially Cassidy and Baptiste.

Also Cassidy and Baptiste's habit of brushing off the things that are bothering is definitely going to be an issue, to everyone else they're not taking the situation seriously. To them they are one inconvenience away from a meltdown. With Baptiste it's a bit easier since we see him open up to Cassidy and Pharah, we also know he and Sombra are close, but Cassidy doesn't have that. In the Deadlock novel Ashe mentioned that Cassidy had a line, a wall, that she was never able to cross. I don't think that ever went away.

But one thing is important to point out and that is, this isn't any of these characters first rodeo. Cassidy saw how the first Overwatch fell first hand, Baptiste saw the corruption of Talon, Pharah witnessed the people she cared about slowly drift away, Zarya had her whole world view turned upside-down, DVA was given the responsibility of protecting a whole country at a young age.

I think that unlike the Original Strike Team, who were never really able to properly deal with all they went through, the New Bloods are going to learn from the struggles they face and come out the other side better than before.

[jetlaggingbehind]

hm ig I get what you're saying? honestly I mainly wrote this post bc the thing i hate most in these aus is people making matthew into a knives clone lol. scott pilgrim is one of those things where if you wanted to make a swap au plausible in canon you'd have to go pretty deep into character development hell, and tbh i don't even fault the fandom for not doing that it's insanely hard.

putting this under the cut bc it gets long babeyyy

the main reason why i don't think knives is matthew is because going off of the show, he comes to terms with it in the most healthy way he can manage by focusing his attention on other things. The most prominent moment i can think of off the top of my head is when he completely dismisses her while they're going to watch the musical. not to say that he doesn't still hurt, but he's not actively fixating on it anymore. He has his own stuff going on, like kim. but yeah, i get that they have that sense of a young and unstable relationship.

Idk if the insults can really be considered a vendetta against scott? Everyone insults scott. he's just very lame lol. one of kim's first lines is her insulting scott. not to mention that were talking abt a dramatic ass theatre kid who unironically says things like 'youll pay for this'. on knives and matthew both being left behind— kim got left behind too! when scott left their town he didn't tell his actual literal girlfriend at the time, and that makes it hurt all the more. there's also the fact that they were scott and ramona's respective first relationships, so there's a few more similarities there.

im not taking wallace as envy that seriously haha i agree it could make an interesting au but of course wallace isnt really the 'join a band' type, or interested in fame. i put wallace as lisa because there's some interesting parallels— I think it could be canon plausible for him and scott to have had feelings that they never acted on. i also don't think it's as likely for scott to have left wallace and created that age-old schism that ramona and roxy had. they're a little codependent like that.

ramona saw lisa as a threat largely bc she didn't feel secure in her relationship with scott. I'm looking at lisa more for her role in the story, which is to make ramona jealous and incite her paranoia, rather than her actual character bc if we see it that way they're nothing alike ajdkflskflsl but yeah really any of scott's exes could take that role and still make sense, im just picking wallace bc i like him

the fact that roxy was willing to go back to ramona and apparently make out with her while ramona and scott were going through their rough patch even though scottmona hadn't broken up speaks to a kind of desperation, i think. there's much more left unsolved there than with matthew, because their thing was way longer and much more complex.

knives strikes me as similar because she was so young and smitten, so she threw everything she had into it since she thought what they had mattered to scott. Then, when she was unceremoniously dropped she decided she needed to fight like hell to get it back. (similarities between them, yknow.) it's ultimately unhealthy even though it was never their fault, and they do get the closure they need at the end of the comics and show respectively, when scott and ramona make amends and apologise.

all this to say: i don't think there's any one true way to swap these characters. this is simply my thoughts on it. bryan lee o'malley managed the impressive feat of writing a very large quantity of distinct and complex characters! because of this it is very hard to make a swap au that 'makes sense', so to speak, and i think it's fine to not want to think about them in such anal detail. (i mean, i wouldnt know, but...) if you wanna treat them like conduits for cool stuff, youre allowed. I like the concept of swap aus! scott having a fanny pack subspace is a fave idea of mine, and i like a lot of the stuff that ppl make, though i wont always engage if it's not my jam. it just rubs me the wrong way regarding the intention, considering theyre two out of of very few poc characters in the cast, to just give matthew knives' personality, because i feel that theyre just nothing alike. so yeah.

(if anybody made it this far i hope u have a great day <3)

listen to me. in a swap au ramona's knives would NOT be matthew. matthew got over his heartbreak fairly easily once he had his own musical to perform on and knives does not have that kind of emotional resilience in the face of scott's shittiness she is seventeen years of age. matthew would more likely be like kim or something. he's hiding stuff and he never got closure but at least he has a healthy outlet for his emotions which helps him come to terms with it in some sense. knives would be ROXY. heartbreak central.

[elysianslove]

Hewwooo! This ask just came into my mind and I wanted to share. So Yuuji has a girlfriend that is a civilian and at first Sukuna is annoyed by her but as time passed he starts to take a like on her since she's always so nice to him despite him being a curse. And he's just so confused about his feelings because him being the king of curses falling for a weakling? Ridiculous. I want to read your interpretation of this idc if its hcs or scenario. Do whatever you like❤

hi my love!! i really hope you like this!! i made it into headcanons so i can go over a larger span of time more smoothly, so i hope that’s okay!

i’m getting so many sukuna requests hell yes 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

okay so let’s make it that you’re yuuji’s gf from before he ate sukuna’s finger ( yeah btw wtf is up with your bf ??? )

he called you as soon as they’d announced the death of his grandpa, because it had felt like you were the last family he had left. seriously you’re his whole world

you’re there when megumi starts explaining stuff about how this finger’s super dangerous and people will die you and yuuji are like 😃✋🏼 wha 

but also so unbothered bc he can’t be serious

turns out he is serious laugh out loud

yuuji makes you go home as you’re at the school gate and you’re like mf what??? no???? i’m not leaving you?? 

he ends up making you wait and then he just never comes back

megumi explains everything to you 

but again you’re like 😃✋🏼 pause wtf 

you keep texting him and calling him and he’s not responding you’d be angry at him if you weren’t so fucking worried 

and so eventually he finds you again 

after eating sukuna’s second finger (again, what the fuck sir) 

now megumi had told you he was now like ? possessed ? by a curse? it sounded like gibberish to you tbh and it was the last thing you were thinking about when you finally saw him again

all that mattered was that he was okay and alive and in your arms 

you’ve never hugged him tighter tbh 

so anyways ! yuuji does not want you to meet sukuna 

like ever 

but when he meets you one day really frustrated from a mission, you ask him about it, and he just vents out everything to you. he tells you how the responsibility can be so overwhelming sometimes, and how sukuna can be so infuriating and you can’t imagine what it must be like having this guy in your head 

and then you just go 

“can i meet him?” 

at first he’s like absolutely not ma’am are u insane 

but then you convince him, telling him you trust him and reminding him he has control 

so he shifts 

you really were expecting something horrendous like seriously you were anticipating fainting from fear 

he’s just your bf 

with a rougher edge 

you like instantly relax 

even if this guy’s expressions are nothing like yuuji’s, you remind yourself that it’s still yuuji inside, no matter what 

“i like your — tats?” 

what do you even say to a curse??? 

he’s scowling at you so much you might piss yourself but you just repeat constantly that he can’t hurt you 

“you disgust me,” he spits out

yuuji shifts back so quick, and just groups you on his arms 

“that wasn’t me, i swear,” he says to you and you have to calm him down and tell him it’s okay !!  it’s not his fault the guy’s an ass 

now! yuuji’s pretty comfortable with your level of physical affection 

in fact, he loves it so much. it’s one of his favorite things about you. 

so he’s always welcoming an embrace from his favorite person in the world, but it’s so hard to ignore sukuna’s words in his mind repeatedly saying how this is so revolting 

he tries his best to pay him no attention 

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and a mouth appear somewhere on yuuji’s body and it’ll say “get ur hands off my vessel human!” and ngl

it always makes you laugh

like how comical is that

eventually, over time, the hugs are 

kinda nice, sukuna realizes 

like he’s a thousand year old cursed spirit

he’s not really gotten any affection yk 

like ever 

and it’s not that he ever wanted it

but being with you

or well, him possessing yuuji and yuuji being with you and you being with him through transitive property (thank you grade 7 math)  

it really like softens him

kinda 

a little bit 

like the tiniest bit 

some part of him, he probably thinks it’s yuuji and not even him and that he’s just confused but really some part of him grows to anticipate the hugs 

and when you kiss yuuji 

god

your mouth feels so good he wants to feel it for himself 

it’s like angering him how you’re growing onto him, so he asks yuuji to shift them 

and they do shift

you’re a little surprised bc yuuji gave u like a 3 sec warning before those familiar markings appeared on his skin

“i never thought i’d see you again,” you admit. 

and he just kisses you 

like full on the mouth 

no warning

you pull him back in shock, and rest a hand on his shoulder to keep a distance between you two

“i don’t know where this is coming from but it doesn’t feel right, sukuna.” 

and you’re just

you’re just so nice

why are you so nice???

“i love yuuji, so much, and even though you’re sharing a body you’re still a whole other person. it feels wrong.” 

god why are you so good? it’s infuriating???? 

yuuji shifts back, starts apologizing again like the first time

“you have to stop apologizing for something someone else did, babe.” 

when he’s alone with sukuna that night he’s like dude, dude, bro, my man — we gotta talk boundaries bc wtf

sukuna just goes “not fair u get to kiss her” 

like yeah??? she’s my girlfriend tf ???? 

so sukuna resorts to watching (or feeling) from the sidelines again

as he grows more and more affectionate towards you 

until he’s just as protective over you as yuuji is

until he realizes that 

what yhe fuck

maybe he has feelings for you because, one of the main things about you is that the two times you’ve encountered him, you’ve never treated him like a curse. even if being treated human was once considered belittling to him, having you dote on him like that, speak to him as softly

it made his brain go brrrr 

so he asks yuuji one day, “can i kiss your gf” 

like that’s something you just casually ask

took a lotta convincing but eventually yuuji says “if she says yes then okay” 

it takes like 

90 minutes for both you and yuuji to decide that you’re okay with it. sukuna’s like fuck it ion wanna anymore lmfao

but anyways 

yuuji shifts into him 

and 

he doesn’t even wait the impatient mf 

he just kisses you so suddenly, cupping your neck and tugging at your hair like damn how long has he been wanting to do this

clearly way longer than even he thought 

after that yuuji doesn’t exactly share you, but yeah he’ll let sukuna kiss you every now and then

sukuna’s still not fully accepting of his feelings towards you, but he learns to appreciate you

especially your kindness towards him and yuuji, and the tenderness of your touch 

he never would’ve seen it coming when he awoke in this teenage boy’s body, but he can admit that you’re definitely an added benefit

[illegal-spiegel]

Firsts w/ Kaoru

Pairing: Kaoru Hitachiin x gn!reader Genre: fluff Warnings: none

first meeting:

y’all met through, you guessed it, The Host Club

it wasn’t your idea to go

but Haruhi, poor, sweet, innocent Haruhi, was about to lose her marbles

she practically got onto her knees to beg you to keep her company

and what kind of friend would you be if you declined?

(you mainly just went because she bribed you with free tea and desserts)

when you showed up to Music Room #3, it was all that you were expecting and not at all what you were expecting at the same time

you eventually spotted Haruhi through all the people and eventually made your way over to her

the look on her face was almost comical

she bid her guests she was entertaining farewell and they left with watery eyes

you covered your mouth to hide your giggles as you took a seat on the soft couch across from her

“Thank god you showed up,” she groaned as she slumped back into her seat

you let your giggles out freely, studying her tired form

“Awe, is Haruhi tired of flirting?” you teased

she only grunted in response, closing her eyes and letting out a content sigh

you hummed in return, picking up a cookie that was on the table and started to munch on it

you two had a few minutes of silent peace before it was rudely interrupted

“Oh, Haruhi!” you hear two voices shout from behind you in unison

you swear you saw an irk mark appear on her forehead

you raise your brow and go to turn around to see who was causing her so much trouble just by saying two words when two people were suddenly leaning over the back of the couch you were sitting on

you looked to your left and saw a boy your and Haruhi’s age

you turned to the right and had to do a double-take when you saw the same face

‘these must be the infamous twins,’ you thought as you studied them

“What?” Haruhi groaned with dead eyes

you could see the smirks come onto the two boys’ faces

“What are you doing slacking off-” the one on the right started off

“-when you have a guest?” the left one finished you raised a brow at them as you pursed your lips

“She could ask you two the same thing? Why aren’t you tending to your guests?” you defended

the twins’ eyes widened as they turned to look at you, both silently studying you for a moment

“We got bored-”

“-so we came to see what Haruhi was doing.”

your brows furrowed as you look to the one on your left

“You just left your guests?”

Haruhi was the one to respond

“Kaoru probably ran out of fake tears,” she said with a smirk

the twins’ attention went back to her, the one on the right’s eyes widening

“Fake tears? My tears are real!” he defended

you took a mental note that the one on your right was Kaoru. Haruhi may have told you about them before but you were terrible with names

Haruhi only grunted in response before closing her eyes again

you saw their mouths open, ready to bother her some more

so, being the good friend you are, you quickly said something before they could

“Just leave her alone, okay? How about you entertain me?” you offered

from what Haruhi has told you, the twins liked to mess around with people. Whether it is playing pranks and tricks or just annoying them

so, you figured they’d happily take you up on the offer to ‘entertain’ you

as soon as you finished your sentence, a smirk was curling up on their lips

“Entertain you?”

“Why, we’d be honored!”

they ended up trying to actually do so at first, using their little brotherly love act

you quickly shut that down

once they realized you knew all their secrets, including Haruhi being a girl, there was a sudden shift in the way they acted towards you

they were more open suddenly

hanging out:

after meeting, he instantly took a liking to you

he and his brother wanted to become friends with you, mainly to annoy Haruhi 

they hung out with you as much as you allowed them to, which was often so you could give Haruhi a break

it took a couple weeks for Kaoru to work up the nerve to ask you to hangout with him without his brother there as well

you were surprised when he asked you, to say the least 

“Hey, would you wanna go to this museum with me? I somehow won free tickets in class and Hikaru doesn’t want to go. I, uh, know it sounds boring but—”

“I’d love to go with you, Kaoru,” you reassure with a big, warm smile

it was the first time he felt his heart do something weird in his chest 

that weekend, you two went to the museum and honestly had a really good time

you two pretty much just wandered around and talked the entire time, which was several hours 

he found it surprising and like a fresh breath of air at how easy it was to talk to you

he liked studying you when you would stare at something before you, your figure glowing under the big lights 

he knew by the time you two left that he had feelings for you

first hug:

you two hugged for the first when he took you home from the museum, actually 

his palms were sweating just from thinking of doing it 

he tried to tell himself that it wasn’t a big deal but he was just so nervous 

he opened the car door for you when you reached your house and even walked you to the door 

“Thanks for today, Kaoru,” you say softly, giving him that radiant smile that he loves so much 

“It was nothing. I’m just glad you agreed to go,” he admits with a small chuckle

you giggle in return and then you both go into silence 

“Well, I’ll see you at school on Monday,” you say to break the silence

without another word, he quickly pulls you into the hug then

he hears and feels you gasp, your arms staying by your side for a moment before slowly wrapping back around him 

“Yeah, see you on Monday,” he whispers, still holding onto you

you two hug each other a little longer than necessary but neither of you cared 

when you finally did let go of each other, both of your faces were warm

“Goodnight, Kaoru,” you whisper a little breathlessly 

“Goodnight, (Y/n),” he whispers back, finally stepping back to let you go inside

he walks back to his car and watches you unlock your door to make sure you get inside okay 

he then finally leaves with a racing heart and a red face

first time holding hands:

after going to the museum together, you two slowly started to get closer

you texted more often, always called, hung out without Hikaru more, and so on 

it didn’t take long for you to fall for him but you were unsure if he liked you back 

well, that is until October came around

the boys decided they wanted to do a haunted house type thing for their monthly event

after Kyoya talked it over with the principal, the club got permission to do it and to have it held inside the entire school

Kyoya went all out too. He hired professional actors and businesses to scare in the school

the club held it during Halloween weekend, that way they could clean up all the props before Monday

the club made a killer with the amount of people that wanted to participate and walk through the ‘haunted’ school

on Sunday, after the ‘maze’ closed, the host club decided that they should be able to walk through it as well

that’s how you ended up partnered up with Kaoru to walk through together

you two went last out of all of the groups, both of your hearts racing as you two walked into your dark school 

after the first jump scare, you two clung together before relaxing until the next scare

after a few scares, you two just ended up holding hands the whole way through 

you honestly didn’t even really notice since you were too focused on what’s around the corner, what’s in that room, or what that sound was

but Kaoru’s entire focused was on your hand in his, the way your skin looked, the way it felt

when you came out the back main exit of the school though, you instantly noticed

you both shyly smiled as you let go, trying to ignore everyone’s teasing as you all started cleaning up 

first date:

it wasn’t until mid-November that Kaoru asked you out on a date

you both were blushing like crazy as he stuttered out his date proposal and it was the most enduring thing you’ve ever seen 

he asked you out, to which you instantly said yes to, but when you asked where you two would be going, he refused to tell you 

he ended up taking you to a festival that was in town after you said that you didn’t want him wasting a lot of money on you 

plus, he’s really competitive, so it’s fun to play games with him 

you two tease each other back and forth the whole night, both of you winning a lot of games

he even won you a stuffed animal to which you playfully named it Hikaru

he ended up getting too much cotton candy and begged you to help him finish it 

you two spent the entire day there and when the sun started to set, he dragged you onto the ferris wheel 

it was very cliché but he kisses you at the top and you loved every second of it 

when he drove you home, neither of you were ready for the night to end 

so, you just ended up sitting in the car for hours just talking up a storm

when your first yawn is released, he does his best to ignore it but after the second time, he sighs and gives you a soft smile 

“You should head inside. I’ll text you when I get home, okay?” he says quietly, secretly wishing he didn’t say anything when you start to pout 

you rub at your eye though as you yawn again, slowly nodding your head

“Okay. Goodnight, Kaoru,” you whisper sweetly before hugging him

just before you get out of the car, you quickly peck his cheek before practically flying out of the vehicle

he chuckles at how flustered you are as you walk to the door of your home

he makes sure you get inside okay before driving back home

he sticks to his word and texts you when he arrives at home to which you both stayed up late texting each other because you didn’t want the mystical night to come to an end

first time giving a gift:

(we ain’t counting the stuffed animal (Hikaru) he gave you on your first date)

you two had been together for 3 months when Kaoru decided to get you something to celebrate

he asked all your friends along with all the people in the Host Club what they think you’d like 

he got many ideas ranging from clothes to food

he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to get you but he’d figure it should be something nice but ‘simple’ 

on the day of your 3 months together, he picks you up from your house and takes you on a date

you tried telling him that you two didn’t have to celebrate the 3 month mark, but he wasn’t having it 

“You’re special to me and being together this long means a lot to me,” he said softly to you before kissing the back of your hand

he ends up taking you to a hill that looks over most of the town, a smile coming to your face when you see the view 

“It’s beautiful,” you reply when he asks what you think

“Not as beautiful as you,” he teases, shooting you a wink before hauling the picnic basket over to the blanket he set down for you both 

after setting everything up and getting comfy, you two dig into the food that he made

once you two have had your fill, you curl up together and watch the sunset

just before the sun completely sinks below the horizon, he pulls away from you a bit to reach into the basket

“Here,” is all he says as he offers you a rectangular box covered in velvet

you raise your brow up at him but gently take it from him and open it up 

you jaw drops open a bit when you see what rests inside, your heart skipping a beat as your tummy fills with butterflies

“Oh, Kaoru...” you whisper breathlessly, staring down at the intricate necklace

“Do you like it?” he whispers, worriedly staring at your shocked face 

“I, um, got it to represent our first date at the festival...” he continues when you don’t reply. “Sorry, I know it’s ugl—”

“No! No, I love it, Kaoru,” you quickly interrupt when he starts to backpedal. “Sorry, I just was thinking that it looks kind of expensive...”

“Well, ha, you see—”

“Kaoru, how much did you spend on this?”

he stays quiet for a moment, knowing how you’d react when he tells you 

he finally pipes up when you give him the look™️

“It was, um, ¥43,687...”

“Kaoru Hitachiin!” you screech, fully turning to face him with a horrified expression

“What? It’s not that bad!” he shouts, his cheeks starting to warm for some reason 

“Not that bad? Not that bad? You’re right. ¥43,687 is way worse than bad!” 

he groans and rolls his eyes, taking the box from you and taking the necklace out 

“Turn around.”

“No way! What if I break it? What if I lose it? What if—”

“What if zombies raised from the ground right now and killed me? Bam! Dead! Wouldn’t you want something to remember me by?” he teases with a smirk

it’s your turn to huff and roll your eyes now 

“That would never happen.”

“Well, yours would never happen either,” he argues

“Yes it could!”

“We can go back and forth all day, sweetheart. We can never know the future and it’s best to just live in the present.”

When you don’t reply, he smiles at you and holds up the necklace 

“You like it, right?”

“Well yes, but—“

“And you like me, right?”

“Kaoru—”

“Do you?”

“Yes! But, Kaoru—”

“Then put it on!” 

you two have a stare off before you give in, letting out a hefty sigh and turning to put your back to him

he slips the necklace onto you and your hand instantly goes to the ferris wheel pendant resting between your collar bones

“There. Ya see? That wasn’t so bad and you look even more beautiful than usual.”

your cheeks warm with the compliment as you spin around to face him again

“Shut up and kiss me,” you snap with a pout

he chuckles and leans forward to do just that 

first “I love you”:

you both actually wanted to say this on your picnic date but both ended up chickening out since you both thought it was too soon

ever since then, you both have tried and failed to say it 

when is the right time to say it? How long do you have to be dating for it to be okay? What if the other person wasn’t ready to say it back yet?

yeah, a lot of unnecessary worries and insecurities

it isn’t until it’s almost your sixth month anniversary that Kaoru finally works up the nerve to say it 

he was planning a little get away vacation for you two during the summer

when you came over to his house one day to hangout, he first plays it cool

you two do the normal stuff whenever you two hangout, watch your show, makeout a little, make food, the works

after you two are done eating and go to continue watching your show, he stops you

“Hey, there’s something I want to show you.” 

you raise your brow at this, wondering what he could want to show you

maybe a new show he wants to watch? 

“Yeah?” you ask, watching him pull something out from between the couch cushions 

he hands over an envelope to you with a smirk, making your brows furrow 

a letter?

“Go on. Open it,” he says with a chuckle 

you let out a short hum in reply and begin to open it up

you pull out two tickets to something, turning them around to look at the front 

“Are these first class tickets to Italy?” you ask, your voice trembling a bit 

“Yeah! I figured it was about time we went somewhere together!”

you shake your head and offer the tickets back to him, feeling as if you’re going to be sick 

“Kaoru, no. This is too much. I don’t need to go somewhere far or fancy or expensive to have fun with you,” you force out with wide eyes

he frowns at your words, refusing to take the tickets out of your shaky hands

“What? (Y/n), this is an amazing opportunity! Besides, these tickets were for me and Hikaru to go with our mom to one of her fashion shows in Italy. Hikaru is grounded now though for that stunt he pulled in class and she asked if I’d like to take you instead,” he explains with a soft smile, bringing his hand to your free one to give it a squeeze

you relax a bit at this news, now knowing he didn’t waste thousands of yen on you 

“Your mom offered?” He nods his head. “You’re sure she doesn’t mind me coming?” 

“Of course not, baby. You haven’t been around her much since she works so often, but she really does like you. She wouldn’t have asked you to come if she didn’t want you there. Plus, she has to punish Hikaru somehow.” 

you chuckle at that last part with a nod of your head

“Okay, fine. I’ll ask my parents about it and see if they’ll be okay with me going,” you agree

he lets out an excited squeal and surges towards you for a hug

“Yes! You’re the best! I love you!” 

at the three words, you both freeze and stare at each other, both of your faces heating up to a dangerous degree

“Sorry, I, um, I d—”

“I love you too, Kaoru,” you rush out before he can take it back

his grin comes right back to his face before he kisses you passionately 

first trip together:

turns out your parents were okay with you going since Kaoru’s mom will be there 

when you three were on the plane, you and Kaoru leaned against each other the entire time

to keep you busy, you two watched your show and movies, played card games, played games with each other on your phones, and so on

when you all finally reach your destination, you’re exhausted but you instantly perk up when you reach your ride to your hotel

you climb into the limo and both you and your boyfriend ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at the beautiful scenery 

when you get to the hotel, his mother announces that Hikaru will share a bed with her while you get the other one. You don’t really mind since she’s paying for all this and you’re in Italy for crying out loud, but Kaoru whines and pouts for at least fifteen minutes

once you’re all in your jammies, you all practically pass out as soon as your heads hit the pillows 

you three were there for two weeks and you and Kaoru had so many cute dates

you went hiking, rode on gondolas, went on tours, took cooking classes, saw a musical, visited ancient buildings, went to the beach and did lots of swimming (where Kaoru got burned), and lots more!

his mom even let you participate in her fashion show

she dressed you up in expensive clothing and pushed you to walk on the runway

you were nervous at first but eventually got into it the more claps and cheers (from Kaoru) you got 

it was honestly some of the best days of your entire life

when it was the last day of being in Italy, Kaoru took you on your last date in the beautiful country

you both shared lots of ‘I love you’s followed by several kisses

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

MASTERLIST

More with Kaoru 

Tag List: @pointlesslygay, @katsuhera​ ✦ if you would like to be added or removed, comment or send an ask. Also, remember to tell me if you ever change your username so I can continue to tag you :)

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

[synonymroll648]

if you don’t know shit about the sonic franchise i am so sorry in advance for this word vomit because it is going to make very little sense

ok so. first things first the soundtrack for this game is FUCKING GORGEOUS. sonic games always have good background music but GODDAMN did this game deliver. every song in this game that i’ve heard from watching my brother play it or listening to the ost is <3333333 so far my favs that i know the names of are “Kronos Island: 2nd Mvt.”, “Kronos Island: 3rd Mvt.”, and “Cutscene: Mystery Girl”. mystery girl would be great to write action scenes to and the other two are pretty versatile for mood :) also the songs for when you go into cyberspace sections of the game slap. very fun edm. also there’s a lot of rock in this game for boss battles!! kellin quinn is on all of the boss battle songs in this game and it sounds SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO delicious. “Cutscene: Sonic on the move” just came on and i must say even if it’s 40 seconds long if you put that on loop it would be a nice vibe for the atmosphere of wherever you’re at :) 

[edit: there are many, many more good songs in this ost holy shit]

anyway!! forcing myself to shut up about the music. (as i get further in the ost i will probably ramble more tbh.) the storyline and characterization for this sonic game is the best i’ve seen in a long time!! which makes sense since they got at least one guy from the archie sonic comics to be a head writer for this game. but i’m just super super happy w/ the way the characters are written here!! 

typically amy and tails’ characters get butchered but this game redeemed them so hard man. tails is my fucking baby and i am OVER THE MOON that this boy got some depth to him. i also found out through one of my fav cutscenes w/ tails and sonic that tails is 8? and sonic is 15? they both seem so so so much older in this game and other games. esp tails. since tails is a fucking genius. also the introduction of sage is super cool!! i thought she was gonna be an annoying new antagonist but she actually turned about to be quite cool!! as w/ all the other characters, there’s a lot of depth that i have to love about her. she surprised me at times! in a good way! also eggman’s relationship w/ sage was like. i didn’t expect that but i’m SO here for it. i would love to go into specifics but i don’t want to give big spoilers in case you do decide to check this game out. 

also sonic!! the main man!! LOVE the way his dialogue is written. he’s sassy but he’s also quite empathetic! overall he just feels so much more...real than in most games. i don’t really delve into sonic often but like. i’ve delved in enough to know that his character before was mostly “gotta save everybody + be funny”. but in this game he fails and he gets up again and he does it over and over and over until he succeeds. and sometimes he fails so hard that he has to have other people help him, which he usually tends to avoid since he thinks that’s his job! and it’s so awesome to see! also sonic being able to run underwater but not swim is extremely funny to me. running underwater makes no sense. but him being able to swim doesn’t either because it’s been a thing FOREVER that this boy Cannot Swim. so it’s just goofy as hell and i fucking love it 

one last thing on the character front - THE LORE OF THE KOKO??? OUGH. won’t go into specifics because spoilers but. highly approve of what they did there man. i didn’t even play the game the koko are from but. some of the cutscenes centered around them made me feel things man

alright!! uhhhhhhh what else do i wanna scream about...i’ve already talked about characters and music...oh! i guess i can muse about the islands. i won’t give major spoilers there but basically the way they’re named really intrigues me. all of the names are drawn from greek mythology and have interesting implications about the islands themselves. especially when you consider the main quest missions that are on each island. i will refrain from spoilers but just how well the island names fit w/ characters and the storylines that occur on those islands is just *chef’s kiss*

the gameplay is also interesting! it’s one of the biggest things that set it apart from most sonic games tbh. most sonic games have fairly linear gameplay, right? but frontiers goes ‘hey here’s all these things you can do. for the most part, do it whenever the hell you want’. that’s because it’s open world. like. breath of the wild levels of open world. which is a rather big step for sonic games in my opinion. and while i do have questions and opinions about just having floating rails and springs everywhere - which are essential because you simply cannot have a sonic game without those - it’s interesting! also the environments are cool :) 

ohhhhhh yeah also the bosses have cool designs!!! and the juxtaposition of how you fight them versus how they fight you is cool. attempting to refrain from spoilers even though that’s probably pointless now 

OH GOD. i forgot. ok. so. sonic frontiers is great. BUT. i have grievances with the intro and the STUPID FUCKING FISHING GAMES. 

the intro i watched w/ my brother since it’s his first playthrough and he was excited to share the experience w/ me and i was excited to be included. but like. sega. the fuck do you mean the characters are standing on a plane’s wings w/o straps and not getting blown straight off immediately. it’s been a while since i’ve watched the intro but like. i remember nitpicking ten million little things because it just didn’t make sense. so. beware of that. just push through it 

and then. and THEN. the STUPID. FUCKING. FISHING GAMES. ok so here’s the thing. you go find this character named big the cat that’s been around for a while now in previous games. i’m fine with that. and big the cat’s like hey bro do you wanna fish w/ me. and i’m fine w/ that too. what i’m NOT fine with is WHAT YOU PULL OUT OF THE WATER. these are all PONDS. PONDS. so like. i can excuse an old tire. i can excuse treasure chests. (though i will nitpick how all the fish look the same and then you go fish it out and sometimes it’s not even a fucking fish.) i can be more than ok w/ catching a bass! but. BUT. i CANNOT with the sheer amount of saltwater creatures you catch in these ponds!!!! like. my brother’s caught crabs before. big ass saltwater crabs. and SUNFISH. and. AND. I KID YOU NOT. A FUCKING ANGLERFISH. IN A POND. why. why. SEGA. PLEASE. ANSWER ME

anyway!! sonic frontiers has its flaws but overall it is an excellent game!! very fun to dive into, even just for the music and story :) done screaming about it now

my good sir have you heard of and/or watched a playthrough of and/or played sonic frontiers

I have not but I would love to hear about it

[lost-in-the-80s]

The Wedding

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x fem!reader

Words: 2.321k

Summary: Your brother's wedding has arrived, without having a boyfriend, you invite Izzy, your best friend, to be your date. (smut)

A/N: When I started listening to gnr, it didn’t take much time before Izzy got a place in my heart, so this is for his birthday

Song rec for the fic: Woman by John Lennon

Sitting on an airplane for over an hour now, Izzy observed your asleep figure beside him, your head laying on his shoulder, like you had done so many times before, unaware of the warmth it caused on the brunette’s heart.

He questioned himself for a thousandth time that week. Why in the hell did I agree with this?

The idea didn’t sound like a big deal at first, accompanying you to your brother’s wedding wouldn’t cause any harm. But as the days started to go by, his mind traced every aspect of a wedding, the music, the romantic atmosphere, the dancing, and he soon started to regret having said yes so easily.

The truth is that Izzy has always loved you, ever since the day the two of you met. It all happened so naturally that he didn’t notice he was in love until you went on a date with another guy.

At first, he loved your voice, he’d call you just to hear you talking for hours about the most random things. Then it was your eyes, he found himself entranced by their color, the way they rolled when you got annoyed, and how they seemed to invade his deepest thoughts and memories every time you looked at his eyes.

The last thing was your attitude, your bluntness and forward behavior shocking him sometimes, and being his main entertainment in others. He found a true interest in watching you, it didn’t matter what you were doing, you would always be in his sight.

And even though years passed, that feeling seemed to just grow more and more, and every time he saw you going out with another guy, his heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces.

Little did he know the reason behind your maneater habits.

The truth is that, just like him, you had fallen for him since day one, you loved his nonchalant attitude and his style, the shape of his hands and fingers, and how dry his voice was after his third cigarette.

Just like him, you would secretly observe him, the two of you being too good on your game to ever get caught by each other.

But you didn’t want to risk your friendship over admitting your feelings, especially when you didn’t know if Izzy felt the same way. So you went on multiple dates, meeting guys with the most different appearances and personalities, all in hopes that one day, you’d meet someone capable of making you stop thinking about the guy from Indiana. That, obviously, never happened.

A little turbulence on the plane woke you up, you immediately looked up, meeting his brownish eyes.

“It’s just turbulence. Go back to sleep.”

You nodded slowly, before laying your head on his shoulder again, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and cologne and immediately feeling your body calm down.

---

You looked at yourself in the mirror of the hotel room, rolling your eyes at Niki's choice of color and design for the bridesmaids' dresses.

A soft knock on the door caught your attention and there stood him, a black blazer matching his black jeans.

He looked you up and down.

"You're gonna steal the bride's attention like that."

"It's grey, the most boring color ever! I wouldn't steal her attention, even if I wanted to."

He chuckled softly.

Well, you stole my attention. He thought to himself.

Picking up your purse and gift you exited the room, locking your arm with his for support, as you got on the elevator and then walked towards the hotel's saloon.

---

During the entire ceremony, Izzy found his attention caught by you, the way you stood out amongst the other bridesmaids and how impatient you seemed to grow with how long the ceremony was taking.

Your grey dress looked like pure silver, reflecting the lights. You looked so beautiful that he wished he had brought a camera to take a picture of you.

Your eyes caught his for once, and you blinked in his direction, smiling when you saw his lips turn into a small smile.

After what felt like forever the ceremony ended and he found himself sitting at a table with “Y/N and boyfriend” written down on a card.

“I think someone gave them the wrong info.” He showed you the card when you plopped down on the chair beside him.

You rolled your eyes. “Classic coming from my family.”

You lifted the tablecloth, making him look down to see what was happening.

“These heels are killing me.” You complained, removing your silver sandals and quickly massaging your feet.

“I bet they are.” He took two champagne glasses from a waiter passing by.

He knew you weren’t used to heels. Being almost his height, you never felt the need to wear them that often.

“Thanks.” You took your glass towards your nude lips.

“How much did you pay for that gift?” He pointed towards the biggest package on a pile, knowing it was yours.

“300 bucks.”

His eyes widened for a second.

You didn’t wait for him to say anything, knowing exactly what was crossing his mind.

“He’s my only brother. I might not like Niki that much, but he’s happy with her, and I’m happy for that.”

“Fair enough.” He drank from his champagne again. "Those ice statutes are quite tempting for a man who wants to take a piss,"

He chuckled to himself, but soon realized that your attention was focused on the main door.

“See that girl over there?” You pointed at the door.

“What’s with her?”

“That’s Braeden,” the name made him realize she was your sister. “She’s the only woman taller than me here….”

He looked back at you, and so you lowered your voice, keeping eye contact with him.

“When the bouquet time comes, you’re gonna block her.” You gestured aggressively with your hands, making a smile start to form on his lips.

“Why?”

“There’s no way my younger sister is gonna get married before me.”

He chuckled. “I didn’t know you aspired to marriage Y/N.”

Your eyes softened with his sentence and a small pain formed in your heart. If only he knew what crossed your mind when you looked at him during the ceremony.

---

The night seemed to go by faster than he expected and soon he found himself at the drinks table, observing as you talked to some relatives of yours on the other side of the saloon.

You sensed his eyes and looked towards him, giving him a look that said “Help me.”

He chuckled softly, but before he could do anything a woman’s voice caught his attention.

“You must be Izzy.”

He looked to his side, seeing a woman that looked just like Joey, your brother.

“Yes, and you are….” He extended his hand for her to shake.

“I’m Martha, Y/N’s mother.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“I didn’t know the two of you were dating.”

He choked on his drink.

“We aren’t, we’re just friends.” He looked down for a second.

She nodded slowly, before locking her eyes on your side.

“I know my daughter very well,"

Her voice made him look back at her.

“She has had many boyfriends in her life, but I’ve never seen her look at them in the way she looks at you.”

He opened his mouth, but your presence made him stop.

“Hey, mom!” You smiled, kissing her cheek.

“Hello, darling.” She touched your hair, adjusting some locks. “I promised I'd dance this one with your father.”

You nodded in understanding as she smiled before walking away.

“So… wanna dance with me?” You nudged him from the side, before taking a sip from his drink.

“With this song?” He asked, taking notice that Woman by John Lennon was playing.

“Why not?” You shrugged.

“Okay.” He placed his now empty glass on the table before taking your hand and guiding you towards the other people there dancing.

One of his hands held you delicately by your waist as you slowly swung to the song. Your eyes locked on each other as the other people around you seemed to disappear.

Your mother’s words mixed with the lyrics hitting his head like bells as he finally noticed the glow that formed in your eyes as you looked at him, making his heart race faster than ever.

You just realized another song was playing when someone bumped into you, making a disco song hit your ears.

You both looked so distracted and for a second you thought you’d sit down for the rest of the night, not being able to feel his cold fingers brush on your skin through your dress.

But those thoughts washed away when he let go of your waist just to grab both of your hands and guide you throughout the song, just like he did for the rest of the night.

That was the happiest night you have had in your life, and when your hotel room number became noticeable at the end of the corridor, you wished you could turn back time and do it all again.

“Happy with your bouquet?”

“More than happy.” You giggled, smelling the flowers one more time.

It was comic the way Izzy put himself in front of your sister, pretending not to be aware of what was happening.

“Thanks for that.”

“If that makes you happy, I can do that at the next weddings too.”

Next weddings. The thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“So…” he started, stopping in front of your room as you opened the door.

“So…”

“Tonight was fun.”

“Yes, it really was!” You said looking down. “Thanks for coming with me, Iz.” You leaned towards him, kissing his cheek gently.

“Anytime.” He replied so lowly that you weren’t sure if he had actually said that.

You entered your room and closed the door, resting your forehead against it as you sighed.

Rushed knocks against the wood made you regain your posture and quickly open the door.

Izzy looked deep inside your eyes, his brown orbs saying everything his mouth wanted to.

Not a second after that and you wrapped your arms around his neck, your lips colliding against his.

No kiss ever had felt like that. It was warm like fire and exciting, you felt your heart start racing faster and your mind went numb.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you as close as he could while entering your room and kicking the door shut behind him.

Soon you found yourself in your bed, your legs wrapped around his hips as your tongues fought for dominance, making small moans and grunts leave your mouths. One of his hands started traveling underneath your dress's fabric, exploring every inch of your legs, making you shiver with his cold fingers.

Your lips found his neck, kissing and biting at his flesh with desire, delighted by his irregular breathing and the small moans he tried to hold.

A certain hardness was pressed against your core among what seemed like a thousand layers of clothing. The sensation making you wet as you bit harsher on his neck, loving the smirk that formed on his lips.

He pushed himself off of you, standing up and ripping his shirt open, the sound of buttons hitting the floor filling the room.

“I need your help with the dress.”

You sat on the bed, your back facing him as he found the zipper, opening it quickly while he applied wet kisses on the extension of your back, biting your flesh just like you had done with him, making a small moan leave your lips.

“So beautiful.” He whispered against your ear, making another shiver possess your body.

You stripped off of the dress as you watched him undo his pants and remove his underwear with it.

He made his way back to the bed, his calloused fingers removed your blue lace panties slowly and delicately. One of his fingers traveled in between your folds, his eyes closing for a second when he noticed your wetness for him.

Izzy cupped your face with one of his hands, kissing you tenderly before asking.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

You felt the tip of his member entering you, making you close your eyes, focusing on the sensation it caused. You felt him slowly expanding your walls until it was all the way in, making a soft and small moan leave your lips.

Izzy looked at you for confirmation and after seeing you nod, he started moving.

In the beginning, it was slow and passionate, he made it the most intimate he could, touching every inch of your skin, whispering sweet nothings on your ear, as you traced his back and arms with the tip of your fingers, allowing your nails to softly touch his skin.

After some minutes, sweat started to form on both your bodies, your moans coming out in unison filled the room as you felt your walls start to clench around him.

That’s when he sped up his pace, the tip of his member now hitting your g-spot with no mercy, he massaged one of your breasts with his hand, while the other rested on the bed for support.

“Izzy,” His name left your lips in a loud moan and you saw a proud expression consume his features.

“I know, princess, I know.”

You closed your eyes and moaned again, feeling as you and he both came at the same time. A groan leaving his throat matching your whimpers as you felt a wave of pure pleasure wash over your body. Your legs started to shake and you scratched his back, while he bit harsh enough to leave a mark on your neck.

Both sweating and trying to gain your breath again, you laid in bed, your head resting on his chest as he softly caressed your body.

“Izzy?”

“Hum?”

“This is not a one-time thing, right?”

“No, Y/N, it is not.”

Thanks for reading <3

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add yourself to my tag list :)

[missinghan]

falling for the first time ⤖ bang chan

❖ genre : hogwarts au; fluff

❖ word count : 2,1k.

❖ warning : explicit language

❖ summary : your plan of putting all effort into avoiding bang chan as much as possible has been going smoothly for almost seven years until he asks you for a dance at the Yule Ball. or alternatively, your families hate each other but wait...has he always had those golden flecks in his eyes?

❖ author’s note : here’s the song they’re dancing to 🖤

one.

The once cold ballroom has waited for eons it seems, for a real heart to beat a new rhythm into the matter that made it. 

Meanwhile, you too have been waiting (for two-ish hours) in the corner with your cup of root beer abandoned at a table for your dance partner. You’re currently half-clutching your dress and half-panicking because Chan wouldn’t miss an event as extravagant as the Yule Ball. He’s not the type to be sour over little things either just because he didn’t win the Triwizard Tournament. Or perhaps someone else just happened to ask him? 

A blood-curdling shriek bursts your eardrums. 

Jeongin gives you a nudge with his elbow from behind. “Grilled scream-cheese?” he asks with a mouthful of gluten and carbs, a plate of a sandwich with a (literally) screaming slice of cheese slapped in the middle. 

“No, my appetite is ruined,” you say, pushing it away slightly and heaving an audible sigh. 

The Ravenclaw boy makes an alarming noise—something similar to ‘uh-oh’ and swallows the big bite from before as fast as he can. “Where’s Chan?”

You only shrug, “Don’t know. Don’t care.” If only you could do that with the train of thoughts that have been going in and out of your ears for the past a hundred and twenty minutes. 

“Y/N, you look troubled,” he purses his lips, frowning at you. 

“I’m not,” you voice in denial, trying your best not to come off as snappy. No, you will not give up your facade that easily. You won’t leave Chan’s ego nor Jeongin to rest without a fight by saying that you actually want to dance with the heathen!

“Yeah right, let me-“

“Don’t. What if he’s already asked someone else?” You momentarily shudder at how sad you sound. The root beer shouldn’t have hit you this hard. “I mean look at him, he’s Bang Chan. I’m pretty sure those girls from Beauxbatons have been eyeing him up and down since the Tournament.” 

Jeongin lets out a huff of laughter in disbelief. “Are you even hearing yourself right now?”

“One of you guys could have asked me. Or I should have paid Jisung to be my partner yesterday. I just, I don’t know, what am I saying? I’m confused.”

Your friend is officially done with your bullshit so he decides for himself that he will now set down his food to make your first and last Yule Ball arguably unforgettable. “Honestly? I can lie and say I would dance with you if you weren’t so full of pride. But truth is, none of us asked you to dance because we all know how badly Chan wants this opportunity. Wake the fuck up! He’s been planning this since forever. I’ll go look for him, wait here,” he points a finger at you before running off, leaving your heartbeat pause awkwardly like a broken record. 

The ballroom feels significantly colder now. 

“Miss Y/N?”

Ah, perfect timing. What’s another way to phrase ‘being an absolute idiot at a ball’? Oh right, it’s ‘talking to your professor five minutes before the first dance while your friends are socializing left and right’. 

“Yes, Headmistress McGonagall?”

Your professor peers around when she realizes that you’re all alone. “Are you and Mister Bang ready?”

“R-ready?” Suddenly, you feel out of place. 

“Well, of course. It’s only traditional that the three champions start the first dance!”

“Oh.”

two. 

Only the celestial bodies above can know how melancholy you are. But you’re met with a sky without stars tonight. 

With your head on your elbows, lips pressed into a straight line, your gaze falls from the endless canvas of darkness to the hustle and bustle of students leaving the Great Hall to head back to their designated dormitories. A sigh. You definitely don’t need to know what they’re going to do for the after-party. Ryujin used to show you an article on this peculiar machine called ‘a laptop’ that the more you sigh, the faster you age. If Chan keeps doing shit like this to you, you’re gonna be all old and wrinkly by the time he comes here. 

If he is going to show up at all that is. 

The moment you peel your eyes away from the overcrowded main gate, a broad figure is shuffling himself through his drunk Quidditch teammates, sloppy couples, and burnt out professors. He dashes through the empty hallways to reach the spiral staircase, skipping three steps at a time, risking the chances of falling on his face just to get to you. 

Pulling himself to a halt at the last step, Chan sees you all curled up against the balcony railings and feels a pang of guilt wash over his innards like a wave. You’re pulling your legs toward your chest, defeated eyes gazing into the space ahead while your hair falls to your face messily. Like you’ve gone through the depths of the Fourth Dimension, struggling through dark matters and a rite of divinity at the end of the line. All for him. 

You’re beautiful. 

And the amount of affection that’s piling upon his rib cage? Astronomical. 

Your gaze is averted away; even with a slight scowl, sloppy clothes and messed up hair, you still flare radiance. He thinks that if a meteor shower is happening right now, you can still outshine it. “You came,” you mention. 

For once, Chan finds himself at a loss for words. “Y-Yeah,” he manages to swallow. Yeah? What the fuck, Chan? Is that all you’ve got to say? 

“I-I’m sorry, Y/N. Yeji accidentally mistook one of Minho’s potions for her allergy medicine so I gotta take care of that before coming,” he scratches his forearm awkwardly, head hung low with guilt. “I didn’t know it would take that long…”

“Oh.” Wow, jealous stinks. This isn’t pre-school, you’d better snap out of it. “Let’s head back. I wanna check on her before passing out.” 

“She’s fine now, sleeps like death. Chaeryeong is there too, you know, just in case.” Chan feels perplexed as he tries to coax anything but the ‘head back’ option from you. 

You tilt your head. “And...?”

“I’m afraid you owe me something?” A slow smile begins to outstretch upon his facial muscles, deepening the dimples on either side of his cheeks that you adore the most. “A dance, I believe,” he makes a thinking face while striding toward you. 

Coldly, you stand up to dust your dress. “I don’t want to.” You’re not having it, he can tell. But does Bang Chan ever give up? 

“A bet is a bet, Y/N.”

Chan’s hand fishes inside the pocket of his trench coat to take out his wand. His hand delicately gives it a swift flick; once, and twice followed by a low mumble from his lips. Immediately, light pulses from the tip of the wand before shooting upward, disintegrating into a million bits as though a starry night is embracing the both of you. He does the same action again to cast a different spell. Music laces through every fiber of air without effort, like honey being poured into your ears. 

“It’s just one bet,” he pouts with a hand fully extended toward you. 

You should have realized how good Chan looks tonight. A black dress shirt that’s buttoned below appropriate, matching trench coat, silver accessories lining his fingers and ears with naturally tousled hair from running here. He looks so gorgeous that it almost suffocates you, that it almost makes you want to hiss ‘fucking unfair’ out loud. 

Enchanted by his poise and grace, your body reacts without the consent of your mind. You seize up when you unknowingly place your hand on top of his, the touch sending electricity down your spine. A simple response has become all too complicated for your brain to process. 

You grow breathless the moment he grabs you by the waist and pulls you flush against him. “Yeah, a bet so you’ll leave me alone,” you remark sarcastically to ease your nerves. 

“Look, it’s not my fault that the Goblet of Fire chose me to participate in the Tournament,” Chan chuckles lowly, eyes crinkling into crescent moon shapes while he sways you to the soft melody. Dots of light continue to float around weightlessly, reflecting the golden flecks in his eyes. He’s ethereal in the worst way—the way that isn’t healthy for your heart. 

But you soon slap on another scowl when you realize he just reminded you of why you’re even here in the first place. If only you weren’t so salty about Slytherin winning your team over at the final Quidditch match before the holiday occurs. Let’s just say you weren’t exactly in the best mind state after getting your ass kicked in your favorite sport. 

And Chan wasted no time to slip in between the line of comical humor and your ultimate torment. Which results in—if you get to attend the Triwizard Tournament, he will leave you alone for the rest of your life; but if he is the chosen one, he gets a dance with you at the Yule Ball. 

It’s really not all that bad if you think twice about it. Dancing with Bang Chan, the Slytherin’s Quidditch team captain, the student with perfect academics and conduct for six years straight, and now one of the Triwizard Tournament champions this year. 

Music threads through the atmosphere and lifts away gravity. You can’t count how many times you have stepped on his toes due to nervousness because you’re too much of a coward to look him in the eye. But he’s the only thing you can seem to focus on right now. 

“Besides, don’t you think this is a good opportunity to get rid of the tension between us?” Chan asks honestly, and this causes you to perk up. 

“What?”

Lights are twinkling with every step as Chan spins you around gently, your dress billowing out prettily as your heels click against the cold concrete. After that, he swiftly pulls you back into his arms and you exhale in relief like you were meant to be there all this time. 

“Don’t act dumb, you’re terrible at it. I know the only reason why you’ve been avoiding me since first year was because of our families’ stupid grudge. ”

Your eyes are cast downward, sadness glinting in your round pupils. “Either way, my parents wouldn’t like to see me talking to you. And look at what we’re doing. It’s going to be catastrophic if they find out.”

“Well, they can’t just magically appear now, can they?” Chan leans a little closer to lock his eyes with yours. 

And you break it seconds later because you’re an absolute coward for a Gryffindor. “We’re attending a magic school. Anything is possible.”

“Did they even tell you what the actual problem was in the first place?” he huffs out in faint annoyance. 

You shake your head. “I don’t think they’d even remember.”

“Then would you stop giving me that look as if I just shooed your owl way every time I said ‘hi’ on my way to class? Have you ever thought about my feelings? About us being civil for once? Like friends? Or even more so?”

“I-“ 

“We’re not our parents, Y/N.”

Your heart becomes all erratic at his words. It’s nothing like those fully-fledged, tear-jerking nor cheesyass confessions that you’ve gawked at one too many times, but it makes your heart flutter and stirs up those cliché butterflies inside your stomach. This can’t be compared to the Yule Ball—it’s even better than that. Because it feels as though you and Chan are the only presences that graze the surface of this land. There’s no one to judge, no fingers to point, no gossip spreading like wildfire. 

It’s perfect. Almost. 

“Us...it’s not- it can’t happen. It’s not supposed to happen. It’s not possible, Chan.”

Wordlessly, he stops, moves both of your hands to his shoulders, and wraps his arms around your torso. The sound of your heartbeat against his is so in sync they just drown out the music completely. Time is frozen in place, leaving you to hang on the edge with him, hanging onto this single moment as thin as the red string of fate. You’re waiting for him to do something, say something. 

Just then, Chan cracks a wry smile and pulls you closer by the nape of your neck, resting his forehead comfortably on yours. “We’re attending a magic school. Anything is possible.”