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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years ago

Text

meet you there

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT MY CONSENT. likes/reblogs/comments are perfectly fine!

prompt: this actually wasn’t a request but it was a fic title prompt from my 4k sleepover that @accioxreparo sent my way -- the title she came up with was ‘meet you there’ and i’ve picked freddie. you can view the original idea here, if you please. general reminder that my requests are currently CLOSED

pairing: fred x ravenclaw!reader

word count: 2.6k

warning(s): character death

A/N: i’m real sorry

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @cottageoflove @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @acciotwinz @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbstrawberry0421 @princessof-theuniverse @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook @izzytheninja @imboredandneedalife @hemmoporro @valwritesx @heavenlymidnight @hannolannno @msmimimerton @oh-for-merlins-sake | message me to be added or removed! [lots of tags not working for me today idk i’m sorry!]

Ages 8 and 7

“Freddie! Did you see? Did you see what I did?”

Eight year old Fred squealed with delight as you did a tiny little backflip on your broom in the air outside the Burrow. The pinks and purples of the sky were melting together, and he knew that night was growing nearer. “I did, Y/N! Can’t wait ‘til we both get to Hogwarts and can play Quidditch together. You’re going to make a fantastic Seeker. That was bloody brilliant!”

“Frederick Weasley!”

Molly’s voice was shrill, but she peered out through the window of her kitchen and shook her head, as if she were trying to guess how many times she’d scolded Fred already today. She sighed, choosing to fight a different battle than that of his language. “It’s supper time, Freddie.”

The both of you flew gently to the ground and landed. You tossed Fred the extra broomstick and wiped the sweat from your forehead. “See you tomorrow then?”

“Nah, later,” Fred replied. He nodded toward the other end of the large field in front of his house. “After dinner, let’s go up the hill and look at the stars for a bit. My dad says there are supposed to be wicked constellations tonight!”

You giggled before pulling your hair back off of your shoulders and turning to head back toward your own house just around the bend. “Don’t let you mum see you!”

“Don’t worry,” Fred told you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “I won’t. Meet you there!”

Ages 11 and 10

It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair. How come Fred would get to start at Hogwarts without you? Your mum told you it was because he was already eleven. You still had a few months until your birthday. But it still wasn’t fair!

You slumped on the couch next to the empty fireplace as Fred attempted to bring his huge trunk down the steps. They both hit the floor with a loud thump!

“Bloody help me, won’t you?”

“Not when you talk to me like that,” you frowned. It didn’t take long before the two of you were erupting into giggles, though.

Fred placed himself beside you and gently elbowed you in the ribs. “Hey, don’t be so sad. You’ll be at Hogwarts in just a year’s time. And besides, aren’t you excited that I’ll know my way around the castle, and I’ll be able to tell you all the places to avoid and the best times to sneak out of the common rooms?”

You huffed and kicked his foot before beginning to tug at the hem of your shirt. “You wouldn’t! You’ll get me into all sorts of shenanigans, and.. and.. probably detention.. and probably turn my hair bright green or something!”

“Only if you’re placed into Slytherin,” Fred grinned. The sunlight flooding the windows highlighted the dimple on the right side of his face. “So it’d better be Gryffindor.”

You rolled your eyes. “And how are you so sure you’re going to be placed in Gryffindor, mister?”

Fred pointed at himself, as if to say, isn’t it obvious? “The whole lot of my family has been in Gryffindor for years! George and I aren’t going to break that streak. What kind of Weasley d’you think I am?”

“The annoying kind?”

“That’s plain rude,” Fred replied before thwacking you with a throw pillow. The two of you began hitting one another incessantly before Mr. Weasley’s calls came from outside. It was time to go. You were embarrassed at how quickly the tears welled up in your eyes, and you turned toward the fireplace so Fred wouldn’t see.

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” his voice was softer than before. “When you get to Hogwarts next year, I’ll show you all the secret passageways and let you know what the best sweets are, and I promise to not turn your hair bright green. Even if you are placed in Slytherin.”

A gentle smile tugged at your mouth, but it didn’t stop the tears from coming still. Fred continued when you didn’t, “I’ll miss you, you know.”

You sniffled and bit down on your wobbling lip. “I’ll miss you, too. Have fun playing Quidditch.”

Fred’s eyes went bright as the two of you wandered outside to meet the rest of the Weasleys. “That reminds me! Be sure to keep practicing here, yeah? With Ron and Ginny. I reckon mum’ll let them play a little bit with you. Promise?”

“Promise.”

Fred tugged his trunk and placed it into the back of Mr. Weasley’s Ford Anglia before pulling you into a bone crushing hug. Mr. Weasley was calling his name again. Fred gently elbowed you in the ribs once more before bopping your nose with his finger. His grin was brighter than the sun. “Meet you there!”

Ages 15 and 14

You stared in the mirror at your very obnoxious coloured blue hair. It resembled that of your Ravenclaw tie. You so wanted to be angry at him. You wanted to be angry, but you had to admit -- he was kind of brilliant.

As promised, he hadn’t turned your hair bright green when you’d arrived at Hogwarts a year after him, especially after you’d been placed in Ravenclaw, and not in Slytherin. He forgave you for not being placed in Gryffindor, though. He’d said he was excited to pummel Ravenclaw to the ground in Quidditch, anyway.

You knew the counter spell, but you kind of wanted to show off this new look of yours. Plus, wouldn’t he be absolutely floored if you waltzed into the Great Hall, not batting an eyelash at anyone who was brave enough to give you a look?

You plopped yourself down at the Gryffindor table during breakfast after making a few heads turn -- including three sixty head turns from the house ghosts. George spat out his tea and was not-so-subtle when it came to trying to hide his laughter. Fred raked his bottom lip through his teeth and smiled brightly.

“Ah, good morning,” he said before turning back to his porridge, “and how are we?”

“We are brilliant,” you picked a piece of his toast off of his plate and bit into it. When he threaded his eyebrows together and tried to get it back from you, you just stretched your arm back. “Oh, I’m sorry, is this yours? I figured, you know, since my hair now matches the colour of my robes, I was allowed to take your breakfast since you’ve been a foul little git.”

At first, his eyes widened in horror. But when he saw the faint smile on your lips as you continued to scarf down his breakfast, his shoulders relaxed. He raised his eyebrows, “Was worried you might be mad at me for a second there.”

“Mad? Never.” you replied. “Now if it had been green, well, that’d be a different story. But I’ve got to say, Weasley, I reckon blue suits me just fine.” You flipped your hair over your shoulder and started to laugh.

Fred yanked the half eaten slice of toast out of your hands and shoved the rest of it into his mouth. Your jaw dropped dramatically as he licked his lips and took a long slug of his tea. “Couldn’t agree more, Y/N,” he began and you rolled your eyes. Always the jokester, he was. But when he looked at you with a new type of admiration and serenity in his eyes, you froze. “You could have blue hair and purple eyebrows and I’d still think you were the most beautiful girl on this earth.”

It was just a small moment, one shared between the two of you, when he grinned so earnestly you swore he might spill out all his heart’s desires to you. But as quickly as it appeared, it had vanished, and he went back to wiggling his eyebrows at you teasingly and eating his porridge. “Hey, wanna run some Quidditch drills after this?”

“Sure,” you replied a little too quickly, trying to catch your breath. You stood up from the table to get some breakfast of your own. “Meet you there. Oh, but first, Freddie?”

“Yeah?”

You smirked. “Before anything else happens today, it’s my turn to dye your hair.”

He thought on this for a moment before reaching out for a high five. He loved how you’d come to negotiate with him over the years. He guessed it was from being on the receiving end of tons of his pranks. He swallowed down his nerves and replied, “Deal.”

Ages 17 and 16

“Fred! Bloody hell, what’s gotten into you?”

“Just have to get you alone, don’t I?” he smirked.

The two of you were stumbling giddily, alone in a back corner of the desolate girls’ dormitory in the Ravenclaw common room. Most everyone were either in lessons or out on the grounds on this gorgeous day, but the two of you chose to be locked inside, for you didn’t exactly know how much time you’d be able to spend alone before he left. Especially with Toad Face breathing down your necks every chance she got.

His lips were locked with yours for what seemed like hours. It was slow and easy and comforting before he reluctantly pulled away and started tracing circles onto your hands, trying as he might to lot let you see the glassiness in his eyes.

“Promise me something,”

“What?”

He sighed. “Next year, bring home the cup. You were robbed this year, love. Bloody Umbridge banning us from matches, and now the entire schedule is all wonky. Bring it home. But I swear if you tell any Gryffindors I said that, I’ll deny it.”

You raked your bottom lip through your teeth before poking him in the stomach. “You? A Gryffindor, hoping a Ravenclaw wins the cup? What would the other students think?”

“I reckon they’d think I’m out of my mind.”

You snorted. “Well, yeah, you are.”

The laughter faded away after a few moments, and Fred peered lovingly into your eyes. You could tell how much his nerves were eating at him -- leaving this all behind, not finishing school. The wrath of his mother. The unknown of how the shop will do. You traced the freckles on his cheeks and nose.

“You’ll be okay, you know. Actually, more than okay. It’ll be bloody brilliant, alright?”

Fred swallowed thickly before squeezing your hips. “You promise?”

“I promise. Do you promise to wait for me once you get there? I’ve got some exams to finish up.” You winked.

Fred laughed lightly and pulled you into his chest before placing light kisses onto your head. He took a long, deep breath and continued to caress your hair as you both tried not to think about the upcoming weeks. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried with all of your might to focus on the sound of his heartbeat, but each thump of his pulse was just another reminder that you were one second closer to him leaving.

“I promise,” he echoed you. “I’ll meet you there, won’t I?”

Ages 20 and 19

“Of course we’ll win! We’re bloody brilliant, aren’t we? Reckon Voldy won’t even be able to stand a chance, ruddy pumpkin head, he is.”

“Fred, please, just -- can’t you be serious for one moment?”

“Haven’t got a serious bone in my body, I’m afraid.”

“Freddie.”

His sigh had sounded different. It had a strange sense of urgency to it. He turned over in bed, took your head in his hands and pressed his lips together. He began to gently caress his thumb over your jawline. He’d never looked so serious in all his life. “I promise that everything will be alright. But you’ve got to try and get some sleep, darling.”

“But I can’t --”

“You’ve got to try. I’m right here.”

You swallowed down your tears and nuzzled your face into his chest. You breathed in the all too familiar smell of Molly’s washing detergent, and squeezed his fingers in yours. The two of you lay wide away in the darkness of the night, your breathing finally in sync with one another.

“When this is all over, we’ll be a proper family, alright? You and me. I promise.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead before laughing again. “You didn’t really expect one of us to leave without getting married first, did you?”

He groaned a bit when you teasingly punched him square in the stomach.

That was just last evening.

How had everything changed so drastically in less than twenty four hours? Why had those few precious hours in bed gone by so quickly?

Why hadn’t Fred been able to keep his promise?

You and George both had your arms wrapped tightly around one another, probably to help one another stay upright. You didn’t quite know how you were able to still walk, not when your body felt like all of the blood and oxygen had been drained from it. The two of you fell to the floor beside him; Fred’s body was still warm, his skin so soft, as though he were simply asleep.

You wanted to go back in time. Any amount of time, just to get more of it with him. Just to hear him say he loved you, to tell you he couldn’t wait until you both would get married, just to hear him say your name.

He’d managed to fight without gaining but a scratch. His hair was still perfectly messy, just like it always was, his hands folded neatly across his chest. It was miraculous, really, that there were so many others here, in this room, alive, who looked far worse than he did. And yet it was him who was dead.

It was him who’d had his life stolen out from underneath him, like a cruel joke.

You turned to George, blurry through your vision, and choked out the only few words you were brave enough to speak. “He didn’t keep his promise.”

George dropped his head and let his hoarse cries rattle through the Great Hall. He squeezed your hand and lay across his brother, begging him to wake up, just wake up. You tried to pull George back to his feet, but his body felt much heavier than it had just a few hours ago. Percy pulled him into a hug and let George cry, very similarly to the time when you were all very young and he’d fallen off of his broom and broken his ankle. And who had made him feel better? Fred, of course.

Fred looked so tranquil, it was almost terrifying to look at him. And yet, you couldn’t look away. You tried, through your blurry vision, to memorize everything about him -- the arch of his eyebrows, the way his eyelashes brushed gently against his cheeks, the spattering of freckles across his nose, the way his one ear was slightly crooked from the other. You wanted to remember the way his fingers felt interwoven with yours, like they’d been crafted that way because they were meant to be there, the way his lips always felt so soft. You ran a hand through his hair to try and push down that one stubborn part, but it sprang back up, just like always, and you managed a small chuckle. You couldn’t forget. You just couldn’t. You didn’t want to forget a single thing about him, and you were afraid that as soon as they took his body away, that you would.

You traced a gentle line over his freckles again. It must’ve been hours that you’d been lying there, because he felt cold now. Your body froze at the contact and you had to use every single ounce of strength you somehow had left to not crumble to pieces. But you managed to place one last, gentle kiss to his forehead as the sunlight of a new day flooded the Great Hall.

“I’ll meet you there one day, Freddie.”

#fred weasley #george weasley #fred and george weasley #weasley twins #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley reader insert #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #weasley twins imagine #weasley twins fanfic #weasley twins fanfiction #fred weasley angst #hp imagine #hp fanfiction

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beelieveinfandom · 4 years ago

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Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.

gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers) back in 2017! Good times, good times.)

swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun

gremgeous the gem pillar Right???

swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot

gremgeous the gem pillar right???

swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it

gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta

swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........

swbeeworm oh mood it would be

gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give

swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about

gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes

swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo

gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.

gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them

swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway

swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music

gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music

swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think

gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is

swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just. just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD

swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe

gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good

swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate

swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES

gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd

swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance

gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting

gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it

swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning

gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique

swbeeworm fair enough

gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"

swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on" to "why the fuck is he a force ghost"

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA

swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES

swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf

gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT

swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi

gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!

swbeeworm yesssssss

gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF

swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd

gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI

swbeeworm that's even better

gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING

swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry

gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD

swbeeworm yESSSS

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"

swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd

gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too

swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style

gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd

swbeeworm just to shut him up

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional

swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"

gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?

swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here

gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp

swbeeworm as it should be

gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday

swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed

gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it

swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters

gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c

gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin

swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest

gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin

swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??

swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"

swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"

gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-

gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF

swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"

swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso

swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."

gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*

swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE

gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-

swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day

swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE

gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao

swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....

swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"

gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF

swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying. me, after everything i've done for this council. i am betrayed. heartbroken. never shall trust again. i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin

gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions

-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone

gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one

swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room

he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them

swbeeworm he IS

gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS

swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once

gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice

swbeeworm oh no

gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much

swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj

swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF

swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"

gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT

swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;

gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"

Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system

Than the star wars one

swbeeworm ooooooo yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one

No, no i dont think he knows that one

swbeeworm nope no chance

gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:

WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT

swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am

swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"

swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd

swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"

gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids

swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out

swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious

swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk

gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake

swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]

gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS

swbeeworm yesss this

gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version

swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit

swbeeworm oh definitely

oh shit we've been at this for an hour

gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book

Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers

gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.

Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy) but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)

#Transcendence AU #Discord Convo

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mydearburkhart · 3 years ago

Text

The Amy-verse

(masterpost) | previously on The Amy-verse

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from That '70s Show, which is created by Bonnie and Terry Turner and Mark Brazill. I own nothing, except for my original character, Amy Hamilton.

Warning: I'm not fluent in English and this is one of the ways I found to learn on my own. So if you find any mistakes, please let me know :)

TW: Mentions of military dictatorship and political views. Based on facts.

Notes: If you have the chance to get the vaccine, please don't waste it. If you don't, please take care and stay at home if you're able.

Amy's political views will be frequently mentioned during the story. If you're not into politics, or if it makes you uncomfortable, or if you don't agree with her political views and feel the need to make a rude comment, I kindly suggest you to not read this.

And last, but not least: I hate you, Bolsonaro. Fuck you. I hope you die of a nasty, slow, and painful disease. :)

1×03

*during a phone call*

Jackie: Why didn't you come to the basement today?

Amy: Elis made a mess in my living room, I literally just finished cleaning her shit.

Jackie: Ew.

Amy: I know... but why didn't you tell me the president is coming to town?

Jackie: 'Cause you hate him?

Amy: Fair enough. But still.

Jackie: Amy, I'm serious. The secret service will be there, don't do anything stupid.

Amy: Oh please, Jackie. When have I ever done something stupid?

Jackie: You'd do almost anything to yell at the president. Especially if it's about your country.

Amy: Well, can you blame me? The US government supported financially the military dictatorship in my country. God knows what they would've done if that hadn't worked.

Jackie: Okay, I don't understand what you're saying. Just promise me you won't get yourself in trouble, please.

Amy: Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

[...]

*school*

Principal: Now, as you all know President Ford will be visiting our fair city and I know there are some of you out there that might be planning some sort of quote-unquote social statement type protest...

Amy: I can't believe he interrupted cheer practice to give us a lecture...

Jackie: Yeah... ew! Those freshman creeps are staring at us.

[Amy glares at them until they stop]

Jackie: How do you do that?

Amy: I'll tell you later.

Principal: So let me tell you another thing Mr. or Mrs. Punk, protesting accomplishes nothing!

Amy: Bullshit!

Principal: Oh, sure, you might see a chance to prove your manhood or show you're cool...

Jackie: Amy, what are you planning?

Principal: But this is our President... our President, darn it! So no shenanigans, you hear me?

Amy: I'm not planning anything, believe me.

Principal: If that's your kind of attitude, you might just as well go home right now!

Jackie: Oh, you are planning something, and I will find out!

[...]

*basement*

Fez: If you hate the fuzz on your ass, then why don't you shave it off?

Amy, who just came into the basement: Who's gonna get their ass shaved, and why are you guys talking about that?

Fez: Hyde hates the fuzz on his ass.

Amy, giggling: Oh, okay. [to Hyde] You should apply some oil first, you'll be smooth like a newborn.

Hyde: That's not what we were talking about.

Amy: Then what was it?

Kelso: We're streaking!

Amy, suddenly interested: Like a... protest?

Kelso: Yeah! Say, Amy, you wanna join us?

Amy: Back off, asshole. [proceeds to take a seat on the couch] Why are you protesting?

Hyde: Against the corrupt electoral system.

Fez: Because people won't be chasing us with torches and pointy sticks.

Kelso: So I can run buck naked through a sea of people!

Eric: I'm pro-nudity.

Amy: Are you doing this too, Donna?

Donna: Hell no.

Amy: So, Hyde's got a solid purpose, Eric is a dumbass, Kelso is a sick perverted and Fez... [looks at him] That was awfully specific... are you okay?

Fez, tearing up: Well, you were the first person who asked me this today. But, yes, I am okay.

Amy: If you say so.

Eric: Amy, it's not that I don't like you or anything...

Amy: I know you don't like me, you don't have to pretend you do.

Eric: Why are you here without your "in" to the group?

Amy: I'm hiding from Jackie, and since she knows I wouldn't come here without her, she won't look for me here.

Donna: Why are you hiding from her?

Amy: I can't lie to Jackie, but if I tell her the truth she's not gonna let me do it.

Donna: Do what?

Amy, obviously lying: Nothing.

Donna: We already know you're lying.

Amy: But you don't know the truth and you're not gonna make me say it, I could tell you another lie and you wouldn't know.

Kelso: I don't understand.

Amy: I didn't think you would. But, anyways, Jackie knows me really well, she'd take the truth out of me.

[...]

*fantasy sequence, interrogation room*

Jackie: I know you're lying, so just tell me the truth!

Amy: Fine! I confess I'm planning something!

[...]

*back to the basement*

Amy: The point is that I'm gonna stay here until I'm sure she'll be back at her house. Then tomorrow, I'll just avoid her at school... So, what was that shaving talk about?

Fez: Hyde hates the fuzz on his ass.

Donna, Eric, Hyde, and Kelso: *groaning*

[...]

*the next day, at the electoral commission*

Kelso: You are so lucky I'm naked, pal!

Jackie: Amy, don't think I can't see you trying to sneak in!

Amy: Well, hello to you too Jackie.

Jackie: What are you wearing?

Amy, gesturing to her clothes: This is my outfit for today, and if you don't like it, you could leave...

Jackie: Why are dressed like a communist?

Amy: What do you mean? Just because I'm wearing a red shirt and a barret with a red star in it, does not mean I'm dressed like a communist. I always wear red clothes, Jackie! That's actually kinda stereotypical, we should...

Jackie: Quit the rambling! Do you want the secret service to call Immigration? Do you wanna get deported? You promised me you wouldn't get in trouble, Amy!

Amy: Technically, I did not promise you anything. I said, "don't worry about me, I'll be fine". [she stops when she notices that Jackie is crying] Don't cry, Jackie. I'm not gonna do anything stupid, like your boyfriend and his friends. I just want to express my frustration and try to spread awareness and, perhaps, help my homeland. Please, try to understand me.

Jackie: And I just want my best friend to stay safe and away from jail. Please, try to understand me.

Amy, now also crying: Do you trust me?

Jackie: Yes.

Amy: I'll be fine.

Jackie: Okay.

[...]

Mr. Forman: Hey, Jerry. Here's my question, how the hell could you pardon Nixon?

[...]

Jackie, clearly upset: What are you going to do? They'll be leaving soon...

Amy: I'm not gonna do anything, I'm a coward.

Jackie: How can you say that, Ames? You're not a coward!

Amy: Yes, I am! I had the chance to finally do something that could help my country, and I chickened out...

Jackie: You got scared, Amy! They could deport you.

Amy, crying: Even Eric did something!

Jackie: Don't remind me, I'll have nightmares about this... The thing is that you're smart, and you have me as your best friend, and you're hot because I only hang out with hot people. And even though you talk a lot about politics, you're really good company. You'll have another chance to make a huge protest and start a revolution, or something like that.

Amy, sniffing: Thanks, Jackie... Hey, you wanna sleepover tonight?

Jackie: Will that make you feel better?

Amy, nodding: Yes, we could do face masks and take turns on what we talk about, make-up or politics.

Jackie, huffing: Okay... you're lucky you're my best friend!

Amy, hugging her friend: I know.

[...]

*Amy's room*

Jackie, painting her nails pink: Your mom is so nice, is she really gonna bake a cake for tomorrow's breakfast just because I'm here?

Amy, painting her nails red: Yep, I hope you like corn cake, that is the only recipe she knows.

Jackie: It sounds good.

Amy: Believe me, it is! But if you don't like it, we can make a carrot cake with chocolate again... [winks]

Jackie: I love you!

Amy: I love you too!

taglist

@kim1918, @supernannygirl704things, @snookstheallmighty, @boysdonntcry, @scaponigifs

#mydearburkhart #the amy verse #that 70s show #70s show #that '70s show #t7s #jackie burkhart #steven hyde #eric forman #donna pinciotti #michael kelso #fez

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 5 years ago

Text

FFT: candy hearts taste like chalk; mjf

Notes:

This one was sent to my main by @vonschweetz and I had to go there with it. Because what better than to make MJF a secret admirer.. Anyway, I thought I’d post it on here, so it has it’s own post. So, here it is.

Summary:

Girl and guy argue but there’s a mutual crush thing happening here. Guy decides to romance the shit out of girl as a secret admirer. Maybe this opens girls eyes to the fact that there’s more than just a burberry scarf wearing ass and fluff ensues. Kinda.

Pairing:

MJF x OFC, Jessa

Warnings:

fluff and shenanigans. valentines day shenanigans. anti-valentine ofc.

“ Valentines is the corniest holiday, by far.” Jessa said it as she passed beneath a red garland of dangling hearts and arrows. She paused to swat at it, scowling upward at the ceiling as she laughed. From beside her, Penelope Ford spoke up. “Says the girl who probably couldn’t get a date tonight if she stood on a corner bare ass naked.”

“ That, coming from the woman with Kip Sabian. Did I ask for the opinion of an actual dumpster fire? Didn’t think so.” Jessa quipped as she jumped up, fingertips snagging the garland, giving it a firm tug downward. The garland came down, bringing with it a loose dusting of vibrant fire-engine red glitter and Jessa swatted at her neckline where some happened to settle, giving the tops of her breasts a generous dusting of sparkle that she didn’t want or need.

“I’ll say it again. At least I have someone to spend Valentines with. You will never know that luxury.”

“And thank God above for that because I think I’d rather gouge my own eyeballs out than spend any amount of time with Kip Sabian for any reason. I prefer men who don’t spend more time in the bathroom than I do, thanks!” Jessa mimicked a sweet tone with Penelope as she walked away backwards, her middle finger up and the sweetest smirk she could manage on her face. It was the walking backwards that caused her to collide back first straight into the chest of a very amused MJF.

Jessa whirled around, about to apologize, but when she set sights on MJF towering over her, she bit her lip, grumbling quietly. “Well tonight is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Are you gonna move?”

“Ya know, a ‘hey Maxwell’, would be nice. Also please move. And maybe throw in ‘you’re so hot, Maxwell, while we’re at it?” MJF stared her down, his arms folded over his chest as he watched her facial expression change three different times. He loved irritating her, her face got all flushed and sometimes he managed to do such a good job that she actually stammered and wound up growling and flipping him off instead.

Deeper down though, he really wished that it was easier just to talk to her. Because he couldn’t get her out of his head. It drove him insane. Their confrontations always left him more than a little bothered. Not in a bad way, either.

He kept telling himself he had to do something, he had to learn to shove whatever it was that he felt way down deep because they’d never realistically work, he was one way and she was his polar opposite, but this stubborn part of him kept insisting they would. They had to. He wanted her and when he wanted something, he stopped at nothing to make it happen.

“Not as long as I have a pulse, Maxwell.” Jessa deadpanned, even though as she said it, she found herself getting lost in endless pools of milk chocolate brown and hating herself for being a girl who went gaga over a guy with deep and soulful eyes.

Which unfortunately, Maxwell Jacob Friedmann did have, despite him having absolutely no actual depth in personality to her own personal knowledge. … doesn’t stop me from being attracted to him like one end of a magnet to the other either, she thought to herself, frowning a little at the thought. They’d literally never work out.

She went to step past him and his hand shot out, gently gripping her wrist to raise her hand. His eyes settled on the glittery red garlands she’d been racing to the nearest garbage bin with and he eyed her, a perplexed facial expression that made her giggle and shrug under his intent gaze. He nodded to the garland finally and cleared his throat. “What’s the matter? Someone a little jealous at all the happy couples around her?”

Jessa��s brows rose and she laughed, snorting a little as she did. It was cute. MJF had to give it that much. He stepped a little closer, his free hand lingering at her hip ever-so-slightly as he continued to stare, his eyes breaking from her eyes to wander down and settle on a plump set of cherry-colored lips. Briefly, he toyed with the idea of just going for it and kissing her right then and there, but he reigned in the urge to do so. “Are you gonna answer me, beautiful?”

Jessa’s stomach fluttered.

…. It’s gotta be gas station nachos, there is absolutely no way I feel anything other than irritation for this gigantic douche…

Even as she had the thought, she KNEW deep down that was totally false.

“They were hanging too low in the door. It was annoying?” - fuck, why did that come out like I was asking his permission to move something that was in my way? Jessa finally answered and as she wondered why she’d done it, MJF was prying the garland from her hands carefully, his gaze not breaking from her own a single second as he smirked. “Are you sure that’s the only reason, princess? I mean you’ve been skulking around here all week moody. I think you’re lonely.” he clucked his tongue and shook his head. He honestly didn’t get her. He’d never seen anyone so repressed before and it bothered him because he knew that with her level of repression, sooner or later, an explosion was incoming. And she had nobody she was particularly close to that she could actually sit down and confide in. It had to be lonely.

… just admit it, you wanna be the one she does that with… the thought crept it’s way in, only to be shoved right back out because MJF wasn’t ready to deal with the fact that of all the women he could have fallen for, it was the one who hated pretty much everyone.

“I don’t get lonely, okay! I don’t..” her voice dropped just the slightest when she realized that she’d practically shouted the first part and people were watching them, “I don’t need anybody. This is just a stupid fuckin holiday that people use as an excuse to bribe people into thinking they like them when any of the other 364 days of the year, they couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck.”

The outburst was more telling than she realized and it gave MJF an idea, of sorts. A way in. At this point, he was grasping at straws where she was concerned, because every idea Allie bounced off of him just didn’t seem to work. It’d either be too much or not enough. But this one, this idea he was getting… It was simple and perfect.

“Maybe they do. They just can’t say it because you won’t hear it.” MJF mused, biting his lip as he gazed down at her. He halfway hoped that by now she’d pick up on the way he treated her worlds differently than he treated the others, but she hadn’t. If anything, it only seemed to make her edgier and alienate her more.

Jessa blinked and shook her head. For just a second there, it seemed like he was trying to hint at something. And the thought was a mixture of concerning and comforting. She found herself wondering again why MJF seemed to treat her with kid gloves sometimes, not willing to get as down and dirty when they had their war of words like she was.

“Whatever, Maxwell. Either way, this garland? Headed for the garbage.” she worked at prying it from his hand. Their hands wound up touching a time or two and she sucked in a breath at the warmth and the roughness of his hands. Certainly not the hands of a rich pretty boy, she found herself thinking and naturally, her mind chose to take that a step further, definitely a feeling I’d like to feel all over my body.. And she was shaking her head as if to shake that thought right out of it.

“Hey, whoa! Maybe just give that to me. I can find somewhere else to put it.” MJF took the garland back quickly, holding it out of the petite hellion’s reach though she leaped for it a few times. She pouted and bit her lip as she stared up at him, stepping away as soon as she realized just how close she’d been standing to him.

That designer cologne he wore was haunting her now, she’d probably smell it all night and catch her mouth-watering. She tucked some hair back behind her ear and swallowed hard, nodding to the garland. “Fine, whatever. I..I don’t have time to deal with you right now.” Jessa whirled away, so flustered that she started to head down the wrong end of the hallway. She swore and backtracked, walking past him as quickly as possible and definitely not meeting his gaze as she did so.

She fell into the makeup chair dramatically and let out a long groan as she closed her eyes. From the seat next to her, Allie giggled and spoke up. “Dramatic entrance. I’m going to assume that you’ve already had a run-in with Maxwell tonight?” she asked as she slicked cherry colored gloss on her lips, puckering up at her reflection in the mirror.

Jessa grumbled and dug around in the makeup kit sitting in front of her, casting aside product after product. “Why do I even bother with this crap? I’m here to fight, not look pretty. If I’d wanted to do that I’d have gone the America’s Next Top Model route.” she slammed the lid of the case shut and Allie stood, gracefully stepping over to the chair Jessa sat in, taking hands full of Jessa’s soft dark brown locks into her hands. “You could’ve done it, ya know?” Allie mused almost nonchalant. Jessa eyed her warily.

Allie found herself praying to God that MJF hurried up with whatever he was up to because she could only keep Jessa occupied for a limited time; Jessa wasn’t known for patience. Or sitting still. Or making conversation for extended periods.

The girl was living, breathing chaos.

She honestly still couldn’t figure out what got MJF all stirred up over her and if he hadn’t given her the impassioned speech he had last night when he enlisted her help for tonight and his attempt at romancing Jessa, she never would’ve agreed to it because she’d seen quite a few less fortunate girls meet with heartbreak at the hands of the man.

She was massaging Jessa’s scalp and she gave a soft laugh when she heard Jessa sigh and saw the woman’s eyes flutter open and closed. “Scalp massage. They really do help your hair. Especially for those with manes like you’ve got yourself here. How do you deal with your hair being so thick?”

Jessa shrugged. “I don’t like change. It’s easier to just throw it up than to cut it off and miss it.” As Allie’s fingers moved haphazardly over her scalp, she found herself going back to the way it felt when she and MJF accidentally touched a few times. And the look in his eyes when he said what Jessa felt had to be a hint at something.

“Well, it’s gorgeous. Maybe if we just moved a little out of your eyes so it’s not always getting in the way of your view…” Allie eyed the way she’d grabbed Jessa’s hair in the mirror and she grabbed for a few pins the same shade as Jessa’s hair and she slid them into the area she’d been holding, stepping back. “Ooh. I like it.”

Jessa eyed it and then Allie. She gave a little smile and shrugged. “Yeah, why not. Listen,” she gestured at the makeup kit in disgust, “Apparently, I have to wear this shit. So.. Whatever you wanna do, I guess?”

Allie clapped her hands together, giving a laugh similar to the ones she gave during promos and she opened the kit, setting to work. Jessa just sat there letting her because if she had to admit it, she could do her own makeup just fine, she was just far too lazy to be bothered. So, every week, she pulled this trick with the other women.

Her favorite time arguably was whenever Riho or Nyla happened to be present. On occasion, it was enjoyable whenever Kris was around and felt like doing it, because she always had creative ideas.

As Allie was getting ready to pop some false lashes on Jessa, her cell phone lit up. She went ahead and put on the lashes and Jessa sat blinking, giving a soft laugh. “Fancy! I don’t entirely hate these. Thanks.”

Allie nodded and smirked at the other woman. “I’m heading down to change. Maybe we can walk down together?”

“Why not?” Jessa shrugged mildly as she slipped out of the chair, falling into step beside Allie. As soon as they got into the locker room, Jessa hurried over to her locker, pulling it open.

The box of conversation hearts sat there and she glanced around, brows raised and a confused look on her face. “At least it’s not the kind that taste like actual chalk.” she took out the box, opening it and pouring some in her hand. She’d been just about to eat them but she stopped when she realized that they all said the same thing.

“I Want You. Okay then, stranger with candy.” Jessa muttered as she poured the candies in her hand into her mouth. Allie laughed from beside her just as Jessa noticed the single dark red rose leaned against the inside, with a card and she reached for them. “What?” Jessa eyed Allie who simply shrugged and went back to dressing for her match.

Jessa tore into the envelope, eyes darting over the card. “ Roses are red, that much is true. But violets, they’re purple and definitely not blue. Enjoy the mystery and by the end of tonight; I’ll reveal myself to you.” she muttered the words, giving a quiet snort. “Not too shabby, I’ll say that. Whoever did this probably got the wrong locker.” Jessa’s fingers wound through her hair and she flipped over the red envelope, a brow raised at her name scrawled across the front. “Okay, so it’s for me. Oh god, I know what this is!” Jessa gave a soft laugh, peeking behind the lockers that separated the front of the room from the showers and toilet stalls in back. “Okay, you guys can come out now.”

Allie raised a brow and started to ask what exactly Jessa thought was going on, but she didn’t have to because Jessa turned to Allie and shrugged. “This is a joke. I mean.. It’s gotta be, right?” as her brows knit together in total confusion. She tossed another handful of the candy hearts into her mouth. Allie bent down, picking up the torn book page from the floor as she held it out to Jessa. “I think this was in that when you opened it.”

Jessa eyed the torn book page. It was ripped from a book of poems. She remembered reading it in an airport earlier in the week. Her fingertip caught in the ends of her hair, twisting and tugging at a strand or two as she read the POEM out loud, shuffling her feet and fidgeting the entire time. “Okay, that was…”

“Sexy? Sweet? Intense?” Allie questioned, trying not to laugh. Maybe Maxwell’s idea wasn’t doomed to fail like she’d told him it would. Then again, she honestly thought Jessa hated the guy to begin with, so it did beg to question…

“That’s one way to put it. Phew.” Jessa fanned her face with the card and took a few deep breaths. “Well? Aren’t you gonna share?”

“Okay, alright.” Jessa took a deep breath and cleared her throat, starting to read from the torn book page.

Come here and take off your clothes & with them, every single worry you have ever carried. My fingertips on your back will be the very last thing you will feel before sleeping & the sound of my smile the alarm clock to your morning ears.

Come here and take off your clothes & with them, every single yesterday that has snuck atop your shoulders & declared them home. My whispers will be the soundtrack to your secret dreams and my hand, the anchor to the life which you will open your eyes to.

Come here and take off your clothes. - Tyler Knott Gregson

“Oh wow. Damn. Hey, the hearts. What’d they say again?” Allie asked, her eyes gleaming with curiosity. She had a feeling that she was starting to catch on to what Maxwell was up to and if she was right, it was… Definitely not something she’d have ever associated with the guy.

She’d never have assumed that beneath the cocky and almost overbearing exterior an actual romantic resided within.

Jessa grabbed the box and poured out a handful. The lone pink candy heart caught her eye and she raised a brow, reading it. “Nice tits.” she couldn’t help but giggle and look down as she joked aloud, “Bitch where, huh?”

Allie cleared her throat and Jessa held out one of the blue hearts in her hand. “Be Mine.”

“Oh wow. The poem is connected to the hearts, I think. And maybe nice tits was the person’s way of teasing?” Allie bit her lip as she looked over at Jessa. Jessa was obviously still reeling from the effects of the poem on the torn book page and Allie had the feeling that if this round of Maxwell’s little ‘game’ was this intense, by the end of the night, Jessa was going to be an actual mess.

It amused her.

Jessa turned over the paper and she dug around, eventually resorting to using a lipliner pencil she had in her messenger bag to scrawl on the front of the paper that’d been left with the candies and the card and rose.

“There’s one problem with this, stranger with candy. Well, two. One, my mom always told me not to take candy from strangers. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t follow directions? And the main problem. I can’t be yours if I don’t know who you are? But this is entertaining. It certainly got my attention. - Jessa”

Allie watched Jessa scrawling the note onto the front of the paper and stick it back into her locker and as soon as that was done, Jessa turned to Allie and shrugged. “Now we’ll see if it was a fluke or not I guess? I’m betting it is.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not, actually. Why’s it so hard to believe a man might be interested in you, Jessa?” Allie’s head tilted as she asked the question and Jessa shrugged. “Guess I’m just not used to it? I mean I’m not exactly people-friendly for the most part.” Jessa used air quotes to accentuate the phrase used and she smoothed her hands down the front of her favorite worn out skinny jeans, stretching. She was suddenly excited and full of energy.

But also, she was smart enough not to set the bar too high. And as soon as the thought of who she hoped it might be sending the candies and that poem crept in, she was choking on bottled water she’d just grabbed from the vending machine in the hallway.

Almost as if the guy had a radar and knew when she was even thinking about him, there he was, tapping her on the back and eyeing her with a raised brow while trying not to chuckle.

“Twice in a night.” Jessa choked out, catching her breath at last and continuing, “What the hell did I do to the man upstairs?” with hints of a teasing smirk. When their bodies brushed, she swallowed hard and attempted to step away a little. He wasn’t having to invade her personal space bubble tonight, apparently, she was doing good enough at it on her own.

MJF chuckled quietly. He’d gotten Allie’s text with a video clip of Jessa’s reaction so he knew good and well that right now, she was flustered and it embarrassed and infuriated her because she wasn’t used to it.

“Again, Jessa.. A ‘Hi, Maxwell. You look especially hot now that you just finished beating Diamond Dallas Page’s old ass’ would be great. Or even ‘Gee, thanks for keeping me from choking to death on a Voss.” MJF commented, staring her down intently. He hoped to God that Butcher and Blade hurried back from the little trip he’d sent them on because the rest of his surprise for Jessa kind of depended on it.

Tonight was the night. He had to do something to make himself known to her. He wanted her to see the side of him that he didn’t bother showing anyone else.

He grumbled when Guevara wandered over, stopping in front of Jessa again. “Hey baby girl.”

“Fuck off, child.” Jessa grumbled, glaring at the other guy. At least Maxwell has a right to be so goddamn cocky, Jessa mused to herself as she gazed almost boredly at Sammy, this guy has not a single one and yet… He thinks he’s god’s gift…

For a split second as Sammy was fucking her with his eyes again, the thought crossed her mind that he could well be the one behind everything she’d just found in her locker and that thought had her laughing so hard she was doubled over in an instant. The laughter served a dual purpose when Sammy eyed her as if she were losing her entire mind and made a hasty retreat. MJF cleared his throat.

“Think you might share what’s so funny?” Maxwell eyed her with a brow raised.

“I just.. No, if THAT bag of dicks is sending me secret Valentines stuff.. There’s no way it’s him. He’s got all the depth of a kiddie pool.” Jessa gulped as soon as their bodies bumped together lightly.

There went that magnetic pull to MJF that she’d yet to figure out and couldn’t seem to ignore. Rather than step away this time, she found herself kind of.. Gazing up at his lips intently. She wasn’t a tiny girl, but he towered over her easily. She found herself toying with how easy he’d be able to pick her up and toss her into bed. Or hold her against a wall. She coughed again, nearly choking on her own saliva this time and Maxwell chuckled. “You seem distracted. Did this mystery guy really get you that riled up, Jessa? Does this mean that contrary to what you said earlier, you actually might just be a little lonely?”

His hand wandered down, lightly squeezing her hip and the feel of his rough hands against her skin was enough to have her thighs clenching just slightly. She’d die before admitting it, but everything about Maxwell Jacob Friedmann got to her. Whether it be sexually or in irritation.

“Or maybe this guy just really KNOWS what I really want. Unlike others who constantly just run their mouths and don’t bother trying to back their words up with actions.” Jessa countered, her hand lowering as she teasingly slid a fingertip right across his lower abdomen, smirking up at him almost teasingly when her eyes met his and she caught him swallowing hard and trying to catch his breath.

Let him be as flustered as he leaves me all the goddamn time, Jessa thought to herself as she called out to Allie, “Wanna go to that 7-11? I feel the need for a Slurpee.” and Allie agreed to it quickly. It worked out almost perfectly because this gave MJF time to get round two of his little ‘game of seduction’ set up for Jessa to find when she returned.

“Hey, since you’re goin’, bring me back something.” he called out, half teasing. Just because he knew her well enough to know it’d be met with her middle finger and a smirk.

As soon as the two women were safely out of the arena, he whipped out his cell phone and called Butcher and Blade. “Where the actual fuck are you two right now, huh? I wanna get this done. So I can get to the best part… The part where I FINALLY get all this off my chest.”

“We’re incoming. It took a while to find a place that still had the exact flowers and the other things you wanted to get her, man.”

–

Skid Row was blasting so loud that Allie almost couldn’t hear herself think. Jessa clearly couldn’t drive, she was zigging and zagging in and out of traffic as if she were a wheelman on their way to a bank robbery or something. It was a stark contrast to Maxwell’s staunch position on 5 miles over was risky enough. Allie was really starting to see what exactly might have drawn her friend to Jessa in the first place.

Jessa was loud and wild and breathing chaos. Maxwell was calm and over-thinking to a fault almost. People were constantly telling the guy that he needed to loosen up; including Jessa on several of her more playful occasions. The car came to a sharp stop in the parking lot of the 7-11 and Jessa was jumping out, waiting on the sidewalk on Allie. Allie needed to collect herself and she almost wanted to kiss the ground she stood on just because she’d made it to the little gas station in one piece. Jessa giggled. “You act like you’ve never ridden in a fast car. C’mon.”

She was scrambling through the door, grabbing an arm full of junk and a Cosmopolitan with “The Best Sex of Your Life: Ten tricks You should Be Trying in 2020” in bold red across the cover. Allie grabbed herself bottled water and let her eyes dart around warily, nudging Jessa and nodding to the junk food in her arms.

“Is all that necessary?” Allie questioned, twisting a strand of blonde around her fingertips as her eyes darted around the little gas station before settling back on Jessa.

“No, but I WANT it.” Jessa shrugged and Allie gave a laugh at the response. She’d finally found it.

The common thread between the two. When they wanted something, there was zero hesitation. This whole thing was either going to go exactly as Maxwell seemed to think it would or Jessa was going to explode. Either way, it was something Allie was definitely amused by.

“What are you doing now?”

“Getting the gigantic bag of dicks something. He’s a meathead. A protein bar, maybe? No, no..” Jessa knit her brow as she scoured the shelves, trying to find something to take back to Maxwell, even though she honestly couldn’t care less.

Or so she kept telling herself.

Allie smirked and stopped Jessa mid bend. “Oh my god. You.. You actually LIKE him… Don’t you?” she was taunting gently and Jessa bit her lip, blowing strands of hair out of her eyes as she muttered in an annoyed tone, “Let’s just say I wouldn’t throw him outta bed and leave it alone, alright? Okay, got meathead his protein bar thing and bottled water and some of those stupid Rocher chocolates. I’m all done.”

“Good god, woman. You realize all this… glorified junk.. Is going straight to your ass, right?”

“God I can only hope. I’m tired of having a non-existent ass.” Jessa quipped, hurrying to the register as soon as she’d gotten her cherry-flavored Slurpee. After paying for everything, they got back into the car. Allie crossed herself and buckled in and Jessa snickered. “My driving is not that bad.”

“Woman, my entire life story played like a movie in front of my eyes the entire time.”

Jessa gave a soft laugh and poked out her tongue, fixing her eyes on the road as she pulled out of the parking lot and merged with traffic.

Allie knew how much Maxwell was worrying about his chances at pulling his whole master plan off for the night. And since he was kind of a friend, she felt like she should give the guy a little hope.

← Okay so. Here’s the thing.

← Your girl cannot drive, first of all.

← Second, she kind of admitted something huge to me.. About you.

← Do not make me regret helping you because she’s honestly kind of growing on me…

They were pulling to a stop in the parking lot of the arena and Jessa was digging around, grabbing her issue of Cosmo, her cherry-flavored Slurpee and the share size bag of sour skittles she’d bought herself. She eyed the stuff she’d gotten MJF and sighed, grumbling. “I HATE having a weak spot for that frickin meatball.”

“Why does liking someone annoy you so much?”

“I dunno.. Never really thought about it.” Jessa shrugged as she grabbed the bag with the stuff she’d gotten him inside and got out of the car, shutting the door with her hip. She’d just stepped through the door and into the backstage area when she spotted MJF. She walked up and tapped his shoulder with the protein bar and once he’d turned around, she deposited the candy and protein bar as well as the bottled water into his hands and skipped away without a word.

MJF was left standing there watching her skip away, untwisting the cap on his bottled water as he smirked to himself.

A softer smirk.

–

Jessa stood in front of her locker, eyeing it almost as if she was torn between opening it or just walking away. Finally, with a little swearing, she pulled it open and reached inside. Her hand closed around something thin and upon pulling it out she realized it was a white rose. She passed it under her nose, giving a little smile before tucking it behind her ear and she reached into her locker again.

The note she’d scribbled out to whoever was behind this was sitting there, this time with their own response beneath.

Yeah, I’ve noticed that you and directions don’t exactly go hand in hand. It’s one of the things I love about you though. As far as your second concern, all will be revealed after the show is over. Until then, just enjoy this.

The box of conversation hearts was back again and this time the color was orange. Jessa raised a brow, opening the box and taking one out as she took a sip of her Slurpee. “U&Me and Nice Ass, huh? Okay, you have me curious now. This is.. A giant puzzle.” Jessa eyed the note and tried to think.

She’d never seen the writing on it before. It was neat and smaller. Her hand raised to her hair and she raked her fingers through it, shuffling her feet against the locker room floor. “Hmm.”

Nyla spoke up from behind her. “White roses mean new beginnings.”

Jessa turned and bit her lip, eyeing the rose. New beginnings? She’d honestly just thought whoever was going to all this trouble was just giving her flowers. “Any chance you know what a deep red one means?”

Nyla mulled it over and then asked the other woman with a smile, “Any reason why you want to know?”

“Because earlier tonight, I got this. And now, I’ve got more. And I get the feeling that everything means something, and it’s driving me insane. It’s like the answer is literally right in front of my face?” Jessa gathered what she got earlier in the night and what she’d just gotten, holding it out to Nyla, who read over everything and snickered quietly at the two hearts she had left from earlier and the ones she’d just gotten.

“Girl, somebody is trying to tell you something alright. This” Nyla waved the note that Jessa’s admirer responded on at her, “The writing looks familiar.”

“Oh?”

“But it CANNOT be him.”

Jessa was holding her breath and waiting patiently for an answer but all Nyla would do was smirk and hand her the note back. “It’s called a surprise, Jessa.”

“Damn it! No fair!” Jessa stomped her feet and pouted, but Nyla shrugged. Oh, she could’ve easily told Jessa that the writing on the note might possibly be the handwriting of one Maxwell Jacob Friedmann, but she wasn’t about to ruin the potential for amusement later in the night.

And she was lowkey impressed by the symbolism in the little puzzles. If Jessa really thought about it, the answer was right there in front of her nose, just like she thought.

Jessa turned her attention back to her locker, wondering if there would be another page torn from a book. She reached back in and smirked as she felt her fingertips brush against paper. Her eyes darted over the torn page eagerly and she crossed her legs, going fidgety at the words on the page.

I want to wet your lips

Tantalize your tongue

Elevate your heart rate

And make your veins hum

Burn like the fire inside of you

As you swallow me down

Drink me

Drink deeply my love

Intoxicate yourself with my presence

Imbibe my essence

I want to make you so very dizzy

Stumble footed

Room spinningly dizzy

Drunk on love.

- John Mark Green

She finished reading it and sat it down on the tabletop, taking several deep breaths. “Okay, wow. You sir.. Are a grade A tease and a half.”

She wandered out of the locker room intent on walking it off, Slurpee and Skittles in hand, roaming down the hallway as she tried to puzzle everything out. Her mind was a thousand miles away and this is how she wound up colliding with MJF for a second time. He steadied her and she gazed up at him, taking a long sip of her Slurpee.

“Do you ever watch where you’re going, Jessa? I could’ve knocked you over.” Maxwell eyed her in concern because he’d literally been barreling down the hallway, too damned angry at DDP to even stop for a second to consider anyone else in his path.

Jessa continued to drink her Slurpee and shrugged it off. He was being weird tonight. No weirder than usual, Jessa thought to herself as she tossed her Slurpee into the garbage nearby. She almost asked him if he recognized the writing on the note, but she decided against it.

Why give him one more reason to be an ass?

“I’m fine.” Jessa finally answered, her gaze shifting from his eyes down to his mouth. She quickly tore her eyes off his mouth and tried to find literally anything else to focus on. He chuckled quietly and asked, “Are you sure? You seem a little dazed. Not to mention, you actually bought me something back earlier.”

“Maybe I can be nice on occasion?” Jessa tried to downplay it, but she found herself pinned in by his hypnotic gaze and staring right back at him, praying like hell he didn’t read too much into it. MJF’s gaze darted down to her tee-shirt and he raised a brow.

“The Lost Boys. Is that some kind of band?”

He used that teasing tone. Jessa gaped at him a second or two and then gave a soft laugh. “Please tell me you did not just ask that.”

“What?”

“If The Lost Boys, the best freakin’ vampire epic of all time… is a band.”

“I mean, given the stuff you classify as music, Jessa.” he shrugged, a smirk tugging the corners of his mouth upward as he found himself stepping closer. She had some hair hanging right into her left eye. Before he could stop himself, he was reaching out and brushing it out to tuck it behind her ear. She eyed him warily and shook her head.

No, she thought to herself, there is no way it’s him leaving me the candies, roses and poems. It can’t be, it just can’t. That man doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.

But something kept insisting that at very least, she was completely wrong about him.

“It’s a movie, Maxwell. A freakin amazing movie.” Jessa finally managed to answer, barely hiding a laugh. “It’s right up there with The Breakfast Club. Or I think so, at least.”

MJF grinned a little, leaning in closer. “I know that one. And it is a decent movie. Despite glaring plot holes.”

“How dare you!” Jessa pretended to be offended, rolling her eyes. “I guess it’s too low class for a man of your tastes. It’s probably over your head anyway. There are no plot holes, Maxwell, how dare you.”

“It’s true.” he shrugged mildly and Jessa threw her hand in his face, being sassy all over again.

“I refuse to continue this conversation. I’m going to hair and makeup. Maybe I can bother some of the girls. Maybe Penelope will be in there again and I can make her fuck up her makeup. That’d make tonight even better for me.”

He smiled to himself, shaking his head. He realized what she’d said at the end and curiosity took over, prompting him to call out after her, “What’s made it good so far? I mean you started it off cranky like usual. Now suddenly, you’re being a little tease and laughing..”

“Oh, nothing.” Jessa drawled, holding his gaze for a few seconds. “Just finding out that maybe there are decent people in the world?”

Before he could get anything else out of her, she was gone, vanishing into hair and makeup. He took a deep breath and eyed the time on his Geneva watch. It was time to go for it. The last part to this whole elaborate plan. Somehow knowing that she was happy at least made the potential for this to go totally awry completely worth it for him.

He’d die before admitting it, but tonight’s surprises were not something he’d do for just anyone. He’d already wrapped up far more time in her than he’d ever done for any of his past relationships. That alone said something.

Knowing what he’d done at least gave her a smile had him smiling too.

And torn between total anxiety and the smug feeling of proving there was so much more to him than met the eye for her when he finally did reveal himself.

He set off to get everything set up one last time.

Allie spotted him and waved him over, holding open the locker room door. “You have to hurry. You almost got caught last time, she literally came rushing right back in almost five minutes after you left. Just.. get this done, Maxwell.”

“Okay, alright. Calm down.”

He went straight for Tessa’s locker, opening it. After he put the pale violet colored rose into the locker along with the box of candy hearts and the book page, he picked up the little note they’d been ‘passing’ for the better part of the night, his eyes brightening when he turned it over and read her response to his previous one.

“You’re probably the only one who loves that about me. After the show, huh? I’ve gotta say… This is probably the most excited I’ve been in a long time. And I don’t even like Valentines Day. I’m getting the feeling that all of these things you’re leaving me all have a meaning. I haven’t figured it out yet, but I will. So, we’ll just see if you can keep your secrets, sir. We’ll see. - Jessa”

–

The show was getting closer and closer to an end for the night. Jessa found herself getting more and more excited with each minute that passed. It took all her limited restraint to keep from rushing back down the hall and into the locker room just to see if her mystery admirer had left anything else. She’d asked around as subtly as possible about the note and the handwriting on it, and nobody would tell her anything.

Jake Hager almost doubled over laughing and wouldn’t say anything beyond telling Jessa to keep an open mind when whoever it was revealed themselves. She was starting to think that everybody in the back was in on this somehow. She sat on top of a trunk in the hallway when she saw Allie going into the locker room after looking up the hall and down as if she were waiting on someone.

“Weird.” Jessa shrugged it off, scrolling through her Spotify library, choosing a song to listen to as she tried to work out what everything meant.

Nyla told her the red rose meant deep love and the white one meant new beginnings. The poems seemed to tie into the messages on the candy hearts she’d been left. Jessa rubbed her temples, her nose wrinkling as she went over a list of possible people, trying to rule out every single one of them.

She hopped off of the top of the trunk she’d been sitting on and started down the hallway. If there wasn’t anything in her locker this time she’d know it was probably a collective hazing thing. She was almost halfway convinced that was what this had to be, but then why hadn’t anyone else who’d just signed with the roster gotten similar?

Pacing in front of her locker must have been driving Britt crazy because Britt finally cleared her throat. “Something wrong, Jess?”

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Nothing.” Jessa was quick to say it and after a deep breath and telling herself just how ridiculous she was being, she opened the door to her locker one last time.

She reached inside and pulled out a violet-colored rose and another box of candy hearts. The torn book page fluttered to the floor and so did the note they’d been leaving back and forth all night. Jessa bent quickly to retrieve them off the floor and as soon as she had, she read the note first.

I’m glad I have you excited. And that I finally have your attention. It’s been nice seeing you smile. You’re cute, okay? Especially when you smile and giggle and do things that tease me more than you realize. Gotta confess.. I’m really nervous and that’s something that just doesn’t happen. I’ll be waiting outside right after the show ends. Look for the guy in the brown jacket, if you don’t figure out who I am. Personally? I’m pretty damn confident you won’t.

Jessa laughed softly and shook her head, sitting down the paper in favor of the torn book page.

Fist full of hair

Desire

Mouth full of silence

Pleasure

Tongue curling and coaxing

Intoxicating

Hips thrusting

Abandonment

Nails digging

Rapacious

Throats instinctively swallowing

Indulgence

Eyes full of desire meet

Rapture

- The Dark Muse

“Fuck.” the k lingered sharply as she re-read the poem and felt her body starting to burn up all over. She fanned herself and swallowed hard, eyes darting around. She’d seen Allie in the locker room earlier, so naturally, she wandered over.

“Hey, when you were in here a few minutes ago, did you see anybody around my locker?”

Allie gave her a blank look and swallowed hard. She was beyond tempted to tell Jessa exactly who was behind it all, but she decided against it and shook her head no instead. Jessa smoothed her hands over her jeans and took a deep breath. “Damn it. This is driving me insane.”

She took the box of candies and opened them, biting back a quiet whimper as she read the sayings on the hearts inside. “All mine.” she poured the box out as she muttered the words written on the first heart she pulled out. Right away, her sights fell on the purple one and she picked it up, reading it. “All night. Fuck.” Jessa fanned herself and took a few shaky breaths. If she thought the poem he’d left the second time had her a soaking wet mess before, that was nothing compared to the latest poem and the hearts.

She wandered over to Nyla and tapped her shoulder. “What’s a purple rose mean?”

Nyla stopped and mulled it over, smiling. “True love.. Or love at first sight. Or that’s what my grandma always told me. Was that rose purple this time? Girl…”

“It was and he’s waiting outside, holy shit.” Jessa fanned herself, bouncing up and down for a few seconds because she was suddenly that excited.

And anxious. So very anxious. Because the thought hit her then… what if it was someone she wasn’t interested in?

Or alternately, what if it was someone she was extremely interested in?

Like say, Maxwell Jacob Friedmann?

She laughed it off. There was no way it was him. He merely liked to push her buttons and get her riled up because that was just his way. Surely there wasn’t some deep hidden meaning?

But, she found herself thinking, new beginnings, which the white rose symbolizes, only really fits him. Because him and I got off to a really, really rocky start.

As she gathered her things and prepared herself to walk out into the parking garage, she felt her hands shake ever so slightly. Her stomach was fluttering and she almost couldn’t breathe.

Maxwell found himself watching the doors leading out into the parking garage intently, his eyes on his Geneva watch when they weren’t on the doors. Had she figured out it was him and was now refusing to come out for whatever reason? He started to pace a little, glaring at one of the other guys when they mentioned him being stood up. And somehow, during the distraction of that, he missed her slipping out into the parking garage, brown eyes darting around as if she was looking for someone.

The second Jessa saw a man in a brown ankle-length jacket, she knew exactly who it was. He didn’t have to turn around for her to know that it was MJF and just the thought had her heart pounding so loudly it almost blocked all other sound. Before she realized what she was doing, she was running to catch up to the man because he’d started to walk away, obviously giving up.

She caught up to him just before he reached his Range Rover and she grabbed his wrist gently, putting a stop to his walk. Before he could really even process what was happening, she was climbing him like a literal tree, her legs cinching his hips tight and making him stagger back slightly until he got himself steady. He growled into her mouth as her tits pressed into his chest and the eleven roses in his hand fell to the pavement as both hands gripped both sides of her ass, grinding her against him. He could feel her fingertips tugging at his hair and she smirked into the kiss.

“Ya know, you had me going half the night. But then it hit me a few minutes ago. Out of all the people on the roster, you’re the only one that even slightly made sense. I told you I’d figure it out.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t that maybe you were hoping it was me?” he couldn’t resist the remark and when she lightly swatted at his chest, he chuckled. “I mean.. I figured out you had a thing for me before you even really did?”

“I did not!”

“Are we seriously going to spend tonight arguing about this, woman? Just admit that on some level, I was right.” he nipped at her lower lip hungrily, fingertips digging deeper into her ass as he turned to the Range Rover and sat her on the hood, stepping between her legs. He bent down, retrieving the flowers and he held them up to her. “These are for you.”

Jessa slipped her legs around him again, pulling him closer as she leaned in, taking the flowers and passing them under her nose before putting them aside in order to pull him into an even deeper kiss while pouting.

“What’s wrong, princess?” MJF asked as soon as he felt her starting to pout.

“And now I feel like shit because all I got you was the chocolate balls and the protein bar and water.” Jessa deepened the kiss, threading her fingers along his scalp, making him laugh. “I got you. That’s what I wanted in the first place. To finally find a way to kind of show ya how I really feel.” he shrugged and she eyed him, biting her lip. “I never realized you were a romantic softie.”

“And that’s going to stay our secret, yeah?” he muttered against her lips breathlessly before breaking the kiss to ask the question, “So.. Where do you want to go?”

“Back to the hotel.” Jessa purred against his mouth, rubbing herself against him as best as she could.

#mjf fanfiction #mjf fanfic #mjf fic #mjf oneshot #mjf imagine #// valentines fluff anyone?#// this turned out kinda cute m'kay?

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headoverhiddles · 6 years ago

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The Gift (Part 2) - Nice Guy Eddie x Reader x Mr Blonde [Smut]

Synopsis: Eddie takes you and Vic to Vegas with his dad for a meeting before the job Vic is supposed to pull. An accident is not so accidental.

Tagging: @this-is-mysuperwholockd-design @cocoawaltz @mysticaltimemachinewench @neganrpblog @ford-brosnan-spader

PART I

The Cabots' private jet hums, the tray in front of you vibrating ever so slightly from an air pocket. You're draped over Eddie's arm as he finishes off his second Old Fashioned, and Vic lays across from you both on a sectional seat.

"Thanks a lot for bringing me out here with you guys," Vic mentions, smoke between his fingers and a rum in the other.

"Hey Vic, you know how it is," Eddie replies, lighting his own cigarette, "You're pretty much family at this point."

From across the jet, Joe sniffs.

"Certainly a better son to me than you are, Eddie. Right hand knows what the fuck the left hand's doin'."

Eddie places the hand he had over your hand over his heart, turning back playfully. He's a little tipsy, you can tell from the slight flush in his cheeks, and he's having a good time. "Daddy, that hurt. And right in front of my girl, too."

Joe cracks a bit of a smile. "The dame's alright. She's just with you for ya money, anyway. Or, I should say, my money. Ain't that right sweetheart?"

"You know that's not true," you giggle, and walk your fingers up Eddie's exposed chest, "Well, not anymore, anyway."

Everyone chuckles, and Vic stretches out for a nap as Eddie orders you a Manhattan from the guy they've got working for them. You watch Vic, and find yourself rubbing your thighs together while you glimpse his biceps and exposed tattoo.

---

Once the jet touches down, you all take a car that brings you directly to the hotel-- you're staying at the Mandalay Bay.

"Should we really be staying in plain fucking sight like this?" Vic asks, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. Eddie slings an arm around his buddy.

"Vic, Vic! Prison's made you too fuckin' cautious. Meeting or no, we've gotta stay in style, just like old times, c'mon!"

"Life's been too good to you, Eddie," Vic smirks, "You oughtta get your ass busted, then you'll see how much of a spoiled little brat you really are." Eddie grins, and tries to deck him, but Vic's too fast, and gets Eddie first, the pair ending up in a tangle of limbs and struggle until Joe turns around, growls, and stomps up to them.

"Every time I turn around, you boys are makin' fools out of us all. What's the little lady gonna think?"

"Oh, I'm used to it, Mr. Cabot," you reply.

Joe snorts. "With my son? I guess. Watch over these grown ass idiots, will ya?!"

You salute playfully, and turn to them. You pout, tugging on Eddie's sleeve to get up to the room, and Eddie laughs.

"Speaking of spoiled little brats..." He stands up, and his eyes flicker down to your lips as he growls playfully, dragging you in for a kiss. You moan against his lips, deepening it, and Eddie's hand finds your leg, lifting it up to back you against a wall as you both moan and make out. Vic ducks his head, and smiles.

"I'll be going now."

When all of you are finally finished checking in, you get up to the rooms. Eddie unlocks suite 364, and Vic is next door in 365. Joe got a suite up a floor, because he wanted to be as far away from the "shenanigans and debauchery you three are bound to get up to". His policy was always: if I don't know what's going on, I don't have to worry. Unless it's about a job, in which case, somebody better fucking tell me what's going on, or bullets will find some skulls.

After dumping everything out on the bed and in the bathroom, you get changed into something a little sexier, and put on a ruby necklace Eddie bought you last month. You saunter out of the bathroom, fixing your hair, and Eddie looks up from the bed. You notice he's got his fly undone, and he's jerking off lazily as he looks at you.

"Hey, you look swell." He sighs, giving his hard on another stroke. "Got somethin' ready for you."

"Uh huh," you say, pretending not to give it a good look as you out some lipstick on.

"Mmmm... baby, is it wrong that I just wanna tear all that off ya, bend you over this bed, and fill that tight little pussy of yours?"

"Yes," you admonish, planning on teasing him to no end tonight, "I'm hungry, and I wanna do some slots. Then you can fuck me as hard as you want. Later."

Eddie runs a hand through his hair, squeezing his already throbbing dick. "Got myself a sugar baby to fuck me on my terms. Only fucks me on her terms. Fuckin' unbelievable." He shakes his head, still smiling at you, and you blow him a kiss. He heads into the bathroom, jerks himself off quickly, gets into some nicer clothes, and comes out, taking your arm.

"Let's go then, princess."

You go downstairs and out to the Bellagio buffet, then to the hotel casino. You wonder what Vic's doing... probably getting laid or hanging out at some dive bar on the strip with dancers.

You think back to when Vic fucked you, how good and rough he was. You're wet already thinking about it. Then you look over to your sugar daddy, how his shirt is unbuttoned, and think of his cock that he had just been touching. Fuck, just the idea of your situation got you beyond excited-- passed between two sexy men, who loved to make you feel amazing.

"You thinking about something in particular?" Eddie asks, focused on the slot machine.

"Why?" you mutter.

"When you stare at my chest that intently, I can only assume you're thinking about something pretty specific."

You smirk, and lean in. "On second thought, I'd rather the rest of the night we stay in. If I have to wait another minute, I'll need to go to the washroom and take care of myself."

Eddie looks over at you, and shakes his head. "What do I always tell you? Horny all the time, it's a damn miracle."

You bite your lip, and he cashes in, guiding you upstairs. You both get undressed, and Eddie's already half hard again, just from you rubbing him in the elevator on the way up. Your thoughts are racing, and tour blood is rising as you shimmy your panties down, a wet spot already prevalent in them.

"Fuck, love that body," Eddie murmurs, welcoming you onto the bed, and you force him down into the pillows, turning around and spreading your legs. Reverse cowgirl feels really good, and Eddie always seems to cum extra hard with this position.

"Yeah, baby, fuck yeah, do it," Eddie nods, and you sink down on him, moaning and arching your back as you finally make it down to his hips.

"You're so..." you gasp, "S-So big, daddy..."

"Daddy loves feeling his girl's tight little cunt," Eddie breathes, "That's it, sweetheart... fuck daddy's cock good..."

You start to whine and whimper, working yourself back onto his dick as he spanks your ass repeatedly, and just as you're approaching your first orgasm, the door beeps, and in lumbers--

"Shit," Vic smiles. "Wrong key card."

"Your room's next to ours," Eddie sighs, and you come to a halt on him. Vic eyes you, and Eddie sighs. "Take a picture asshole, it'll last longer."

Vic keeps staring, and you make eye contact with him, shuddering. Eddie notices how turned on you are being stared at by his friend, so he narrows his eyes.

"You busy?"

"Me?" Vic shakes his head, already dropping his coat, "Nah." He closes the door, and stops, hands on his belt. "Eddie... I understand if this is crossing a limit. I can go jerk off in the shower, I know you shared her with me once, but that was a one time thing, I mean..."

"Hey. Like I said," Eddie smirks, twirling a lock of your hair, "What's mine is yours." Vic and Eddie both look at you for approval, and you nod fast, suppressing a groan, so Vic takes his belt off, beginning to undress as well.

"Oh," you moan, and Vic climbs onto the bed, that domineering gaze back in his dark eyes.

"Alright. How the fuck are we gonna do this?" Eddie mutters, and you climb off of him. Vic takes his pants down, pumping himself a few times, and Eddie blinks. "Holy motherfuck. No wonder she gets wet every time she sees you, you're fucking hung!"

"You like it, Eddie?" Vic teases, "You want a taste? You want a little taste?"

"Shit, I might just take you up on that someday, buddy," Eddie laughs, and goes in on you from behind, kissing down your neck hard. Vic takes the front, tracing his hand down between your breasts, down to your belly, and to your throbbing arousal. You moan a little, and gasp suddenly as Eddie pushes three fingers into your wetness from behind.

"You snooze you lose, pal," he grins, and Vic smirks, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He moves down to your nose, and then tentatively kisses you on the lips, softly and with feeling. Your cheeks are flushed from Eddie fingering you, but the action makes you blush even more.

"Eddie," Vic says slowly.

"What?"

"I'm not just gonna jerk off watching you two go at it, I'm not a fuckin' pervert. I wanna fuck (y/n)."

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with my dick, shove it up my own asshole, Victor?" Eddie snaps, and Vic sets off into giggles as you grin.

"Let me suck you off, daddy."

Eddie suddenly looks interested again. "Yeah? You wanna suck daddy off?"

"Mhmm," you nod, and Eddie nods, moving around to the front of you. You get in between his legs, bending over, and you nearly choke as Vic thrusts into you from Eddie's former position. You lower your lips, and start to suck Eddie off as Vic pounds in, the stimulation of Vic's big cock inside you with the progress you and Eddie had made prior to his "accidental" entry working you toward a mind blowing climax.

"That's so fucking good, baby girl," Eddie praises you, "Daddy's gonna cum sooner than he thought."

"Cum in my mouth, daddy," you breathe, and go back down on him, moaning as Vic finds your clit, rubbing and massaging it just right.

"Oh, oh, oh," Eddie stutters, shoving his hips up into your mouth, and Vic starts to grunt behind you, fucking you so hard you're being pushed forward into Eddie.

"Cool it, Vic, she's gonna--" Eddie is suddenly cut off as he cums in your mouth, hot and thick down your throat. He grabs your hair, holding on as you whimper and moan in pleasure around him, and when he's all finished, he looks down at you.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"About a billion fucking times, Edward," Vic shoots back, and thrusts again. You cry out, and Vic brings a hand down on your ass. Now that you're done sucking Eddie off (and Eddie is laying on his back, sated), Vic takes the opportunity to flip you around, lifting your legs high to rest on his shoulders as he watches his cock go in and out of you. Almost sobbing now, you repeat his name, until he pounds one more time and leans down.

"Such a dirty little cockslut. Loved getting fucked by two cocks tonight, honey? You made us both cum, from fucking your mouth and your pussy. How's that feel?"

"Mmm, amazing," is all you can moan.

"Yeah?" Vic asks, "You like that? 'Sat good, that hit the spot?"

"Vic-- Vic, Vic--"

"Alright. Cum for me."

You climax hard, your voice going hoarse from the screaming. Eddie watches you come apart in awe, and Vic pulls out and cums on your stomach.

You lay there in a heap, the three of you, and finally, as usual, Eddie breaks the silence.

"I haven't felt that good in my entire life."

You have to agree.

---

Joe sits at the dinner table the next night, sipping some wine.

"Meeting went well, Joseph?" Vic asks.

"Sure did, Vic. Sure did. Eddie was in a strangely good mood, didn't threaten the other guys once. Can't explain it." You smirk, and Vic ducks his head, holding in a laugh. Eddie has to fight not to laugh as well, and Joe just rolls his eyes. "I don't wanna know."

"No," you smile, "You really don't."

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hansmarx-blog1 · 6 years ago

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Few Clouds, 5°C

Bommerholzer Str. 9, 58452 Witten, Deutschland

A place you should avoid

Wir sind jetzt dabei, den zweiten Teil unserer Reise durch die USA vorzubereiten. Die Flüge sind gebucht , Harpo hat auch ein Platz im Frachtraum ergattert, es kann losgehen. Am 27. März fliegen wir nach San Francisco, nehmen ein Mietwagen Richtung Sacramento und fahren am nächsten Tag nach Salt Lake City, um zunächst einmal Michelle Simpson zu besuchen, unsere alte Freundin aus Park City. Wir hätten also gerne ein Motel in der Nähe von Sacramento, wo wir auch mit Harpo unterkommen können. Das ist nicht ganz so einfach in den USA. Viele Hotels nehmen keine Hunde, andere werben damit, dass sie Pet friendly seien. Das ist schon mal gut, nicht so gut ist, dass sie sich ihre Freundlichkeit zum Teil fürstlich bezahlen lassen. 50 und mehr Dollar dafür, dass die Töle mit ins Zimmer darf sind da gar nichts. Zum Glück ist das nicht überall so, aber man muss aufpassen.

Das Haus einer bekannten Kette, bei der wir ganz gerne übernachten, machte auf den Bildern einen guten Eindruck Komma aber die Bewertungen auf TripAdvisor hatten es doch in sich. Man wundert sich fast, dass es Hotels auf solche Bewertungen einfach ankommen lassen und sich schon mal gar nicht dafür interessieren. Overall Rating

(13 Reviews) Horror show

March 13, 2019 I'd give no stars if possible and more photos are to come too. My worst experience in a hotel in my entire 58 years on this earth. They disrespected my service to my country as a Veteran. The lady at front desk had no idea of what she was doing or talking about. They have rooms that are so nasty they should be condemned "but as long as the money rolls in who cares" appears to be their moto. Gave us the wrong room and I hobbled to room with my caregiver and the room was already taken and it was OMG like a dumpster and on the one bed was 3 YES 3 little babies I mean like 15 months oldest maybe and for the 3 seconds we stood there it almost made me sick the stink coming out of that room. The weed smell through the whole hotel is like nothing I've smelled before. As I said this is the worst experience I've ever had. I called corporate office and got disrespected again by a "supervisor" and I use that term loosely as possible. The only bright moment in this whole ride through hood trap was speaking to a Jennifer the boss of the incompetent "supervisor who disrespected me. If your a drug addict, gang member or just plain trash do stay here, you'll fit right in and be right at home. I have filed complaints with CPS, The Health Department etc. I've sent all the photos along with a email to every local news station also. This type of behavior cannot be allowed to exist. It's a breeding ground for everything not good for our City and neighbors

Disagree with other reviews here

December 30, 2018 Super friendly staff. Those others must have been fired or something. The parking area and vicinity is patrolled at night and parking was no problem at all there was extra parking unlike other Red Roof locations here in Sac. There is like 10 fast food places within walking distance. (that's me though. For sure, Wendy's across the street. I went to Del Taco like less than a minute drive away. Patricia told me she has been here six months and was very nice letting me know about the veteran's discount. Thanks.

Want Some Heroin with That?!

December 15, 2018 One star only because zero stars aren't an option. I wish I'd checked yelp before booking this piece of sh*t hotel. The lobby appeared clean and contemporary so I figured it was a decent enough place. We came to Sac to see the Nutcracker ballet and when we arrived back at the hotel we were quickly accosted by a turd selling heroin and crack. He even had the nerve to shove a bag of his drugs in my 12 year old daughter's face! To make matters worse, he came out of the office and when I called down there to report him the clerk refused to answer the phone. It appears that the staff is in on the drug selling shenanigans. I called the sherrif's office and reported it. After this I'm posting on Hotels.com, Traveladvisor.com, and contacting the better business bureau and Red Roof Inn's corporate office.

Roaches

November 23, 2018 Reserved a non smoking room but the room smelled badly of smoke. Could have delt with that but the room was filled with cockroaches. Went back to lobby and requested refund. Clerk was polite and processed refund with no issues. So no complaints of the employers. But can't stay in a place with so many roaches. Neighborhood is pretty sketchy too. Did not feel safe parking and staying there.

Very insulting staff and unprofessional lazy manager r December 19, 2017 I just want to start by saying I never write reviews but after the treatment my family received I had to make sure I start good or bad for all deserving businesses. We checked in and was a little surprised how unfriendly and very short (morning) front desk staff was. Tatiana I believe was knowledgeable of her job but short and not friendly. So checking into the room it was clear management didn't check rooms after staff or give *need to fix list for maintenance. There was black hair on bedsheet. Quilt had food stains and other stains I don't wanna know what they were on them. We also noticed black hair in shower. Tub was not clean at all. we called front desk not asking for anything but just telling them for their knowledge. Also, one bulb in living room out and needed few other maintenance things done. Painting, toilet kept stopping up and broken window lock. So my husband had went to grocery store second morning and called front desk to say no service and please don't knock on door because our 11 yr old 12 next week son was there and we told him not open door unless we called to tell him. She said ok, no problems. Third morning we left hotel from bank which is five minutes down the street and it was 1130. We lost track of time but only 30 minutes and told her we were staying. She gave me attitude and said ok but we needed to be there by noon to pay or we would be charged a late fee. Umm ok but we got there by noon. When we got back our son informed us manager had called room and asked him why he was alone and it was against the law. Shocked we went downstairs to find out the problem and asked why they didn't question us when we paid before going up to room. There were two girls who immediatly started scolding us and saying it was against the law and treating us like bad parents. We told them to check state laws because it's at parents discretion after a certain age. And a almost 12yr old was ok alone for 30 minutes to a hour. They then acted shocked and said well they wouldn't do it. So we went back to room and as time passed I couldn't stop thinking about it and spoke to my husband who said it's just those girls and the night shift employee was really nice (a young guy) and security team was also nice and professional we decided to see if anything else would happen as we had one more day on reservation. That night there were sketchy young people outside obviously high and loud. I called front desk and I guess when security is off two days it's party time. Also that night my son had his hand under mattress and pulled out some old candy wrappers. The next morning at breakfast we told Tatiana and she was rude and said maintenance checks all rooms and basically implied we had done it. We even said we didn't expect anything just wanted the management to know they need to walk thru rooms to check on employees. The rest of day went on without incident and we were supposed to check out next morning. So my husband had lost car key and we couldn't find it. We looked all over property and couldn't find it. We made another reservation on line and called front desk (Tatiana again) and told her we made a reservation on line and needed another day. I explained my husband lost keys and she said ok. Our insurance (Geico, and they are awesome) sent a tow truck to us and opened our car. They waited ten minutes for us to search car and leave with them to go and have another very expensive key made. We were at dealership having a key maid when Tatiana called and said they found a car key and it was to a Ford. I was happy but it was to late (not her fault) However, we got back at 12:49pm and went to office to get key. Tatiana said we didn't sign papers by noon and manager charging us $25 late fee. We said we had called before noon to inform them we needed another night and why. She said nope we were supposed to sign by noon and computer started flagging us and charging us late fee. She could've checked us out and had paper there for us to sign and checked us in after we got back. Again, not their problem and manager wasn't there but we could have her voicemail. We were upset and told them we were leaving and we would return to checkout. She said we had 30 minutes or she was keeping our whole deposit. We ran upstairs and five minutes Tatiana calls and says her manager had called Sheriff because we didn't checkout on time. I got really angry and felt like I was being treated extremely poorly by staff. She didn't care and we now only had $10 of our $60 deposit left. I asked why she said 30:and she yelled no, and hurry up. We been informed already of hotel policy's which I thought when I called at noon to tell her we were staying we covered that. She didn't say otherwise. I hung up on her and still hurried out thinking no way a chain like this would let their employees act like this. Then a knock at door and rude maintenance man and two housekeepers stood their until we left, never getting a deposit at all. We waited and manager never came. it was working hours. I know this was long but I will write this review everywhere, every week until refunded deposit and a apology I will stand on Watt Ave and stop business. People gotta know. and as we waited in parking lot a man came out yelling cause he was charged $20 for one dirty towel. Horrible service.

#motel

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wrestlezon · 2 years ago

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aew rampage 10/21/22 liveblog containment zone

laughing my ass off at excalibur's reference (the attempt of trademarking the word "edge" for video games) he is truly The Gamer's Commentator

the acclaimed vs varsity... guys. tony nese and josh(?) woods. i forgot their title

oh no! billy gunn is ousted from ringside by the ref. golly! im unfocused. sorry acclaimed im trying my best to pay attention to your match its been a while since ive seen daily's place wood's fireman's carry into knee move...? bowens on the offense! they win!

cock and ball destruction ........caster thats obscene. dont fuck the belt on live tv!

backstage with tony schiavone and jade cargill

oh no! penelope ford... injured and out... i heard them mention this earlier but still :( i wanted to watch her fight willow!! wahhhh man jade is super mad! golly i do hope she fights nyla rose i wanna see nyla rose !!!!

watching the show Actually Live for the first time in a while means i can actually keep up with liveblogging it lmao... i need these commercial breaks to put words together

backstage with eddie and ortiz and death triangle

omg lmao ortiz put together an intervention for eddie. "eddie youre out of control" the lucha bros are here with encouraging words and eddie is just like :/? omg pac setting up pac vs eddie??? lmao poor eddie tho ;o; hes so blindsided

hook vs ari devari

those are some crisp printed hundreds i wonder how much it is to get fake film prop money whoa hook's getting beaten up classic threatening chin grab. love to see it whoa another pin break. will they actually make hook lose (no, but theyre not making it look easy!) oh theres redrum lol

haha vsk trying to fan him awake with the money redrum 2!!!! nooo dont put the money in his mouth you dont know where those crisp bills have been

backstage with the firm! ethan page and stokely

theyre bullying matt hardy ............ is he trying to outcringe them "by the time im done, you wont want me on your team"

willow nightingale vs leila gray

yay willow i wish penelope were here but ok... fighting! tackle! big scoop! big slam! theyre giving willow a lot of lore on commentary. which is funny because i know so little about leila gray in comparison ringside shenanigans! this match seems slightly awkward in its flow and pacing...? maybe im just looking too hard. or maybe leila is new? i dont know much about her so thatd check out "she aint no baddie! im the baddie" is that what was said there lol weird... match... maybe that penelope ford thing was a real last minute development. did they do dark matches before this show

OH!!!!!! WILLOW HIRED!!! yay!!!! i just uh... wish it wasnt after such a... weird match... oh... jade hijacking willow's celebration... i mean.. i guess thats heel behavior omg nyla and crew stole her car lol jade cargill killing every security guard

video segment with 10 and rush (and orange cassidy!)

oh lol theyre playing this on tv? nice. it was really good. i do think its funny that all the good segments they put on social media that i end up watching they also play on tv. better not to waste good segments to be lost in the social media oh they cut out the tony khan part of it lol he made a promise he wouldnt become an onscreen character after all

backstage pre-match with 10 and rush and orange

orange why are you with mark henry-- lmao why ARE you getting between these two guys' conflict jose i recognize your threat to orange but. i think punk has the honor of the shortest title run. twice over (😭) lmao orange has his own branded microphone... please tell me this is going to be a recurring thing stealing mark henry's bit again!!

rush vs 10 vs orange cassidy

andrade seamlessly deleted from the storyline i have such bad memory i have to keep reminding myself. *touches the earth* there was a guy here, once. i do this for punk and the elite as well i hope the elite and omega come back soon... yay!!! the best friends are here too!!!!!! :)c i love getting glimpses of my favorite guys in the background. imagine if i got to saw them wrestle :OOOO (theres plenty of non-conspiracy reasons for them to not have bookings. i understand. also they DID just wrestle in a trios match) (but that wasnt about them! it was about oc and pac!) (ok enough of that, its time for the main event!!!) he kept those glasses on for longer than i thought aoughh!! rush throwing beverage around! sticky cable choking! hm. its ok. i like the lime color watching 10 and rush fight, it makes me think that maybe oc turning this into a threeway gives 10 an out to lose but not lose his mask to rush thats a very charitable interpretation of the situation though. he also could just be being a funny little rascal oof!! solid table... unbreaking... 10 is so beefy. beef guy. real ooo i love me a good spear oh! orange is back in the ring the old nelson into pockets bit wow what a smooth beach break lmao why is open in-ring meddling legal in a three way i seriously love danhausen's curse-into-dickpunch manuever very mp100 reigan hypnosis punch energy rush trying to mess with 10's mask! are they going to reveal 10's canonically pretty face no! it will not occur. orange wins!

10 standing in the ring looking at orange... 10 looking at rush... lmao orange looking at rush like hes a weirdo

aww sad in memoriam bit at the end :(

the fite feed kept going but is glitched frozen. im missing out on the best friends being in the ring "theyre probably hugging right now" my friend does nothing but directly wound me

#livezon

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nanianela · 7 years ago

Note

Got any good Stanchez fic recommendations??

OOOoo I’m so glad you asked because I actually had a list sitting in my drafts forever that I haven’t gotten around to posting yet! Strap in because I have a TON for you, anon!

So here’s some links to some awesome fics on AO3 :-) They’re just in alphabetical order because I don’t know how else to organize them, they’re all great!

Ahead in the Back : I admit I haven’t read all of this comic just yet, but it has a neat premise and a really cool art style, plus the setting is in the 80s with Rick and Ford getting along like oil and water and doing scholarly university stuff and experiments together.

Car Thief: A super lengthy one: a fun (and also sometimes angsty) adventure with young stanchez and aliens, portals, illegal activity, heists and robbery, alternate selves, it spans over a few years, and the ups and downs of their relationship. Also has Fiddauthor and the mystery quartet!

Day of the Tentacles: NSFW pwp oneshot, the two meet a tentacle monster when searching the multiverse for Ford and it fucks Stan while Rick watches in amusement

Doggone: Rick and Stan hit and kill a dog, and Stan wonders if because of the multiverse, if he’s entirely replaceable to Rick.

doing dirt: Rick gets… burrieeddd alliiiiiiive

Drifting: young stanchez, sexy af, includes sex work and Rick and Stan living at rock bottom, but finding comfort in each other there… A+ characterization

En Attendant: The two of them somehow find themselves driving the Stanmobile in an unescapable desert purgatory where time has stopped.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Planet Earth (Or, How to See Earth by the Skin of Your Teeth): Stan and Rick become business partners and travel, scamming tons of gullible people and sort of falling for each other in the process

i dont wanna talk about what it means: One of my favorites! A high school setting, young/teenage stanchez smoking weed, hooking up and getting into shenanigans and hijinks together

Kings Among Runaways: oneshot. Young stanchez hanging around Glass Shard beach, running away from home, two guys bein’ sleazeballs and having fun on the run. There’s a cool structure of flashbacks versus real time.

Liquor Store Love: Stan gets a graveyard shift job at a liquor store and Rick becomes a frequent customer after stopping an alien robbery. Multi-chap that I’m collaborating on!

New Heights: Short and sweet, Stan is afraid of heights, and Rick does his best to comfort him on a flight :)

Regrets: Rick’s voice is nailed perfectly in this one, it’s sad as hell because Rick’s character is so tragic but it has a realllly good ending :)

Rickcoaster of Insanity: set in the 70s, Stan comes back to Rick’s place after the bar to crash and learns about Rick’s weird and wild lifestyle, and it has… *whispers* sharing a bed troooope~

Sex, Drugs, and Portals: Super awesome and one of my favorites of all time: young men, Rick is inspired by Sid Vicious, set in the ‘70s, awesome sexual tension and Rick being a manic asshole mad scientist/rocker, Stan is homeless and desperate and rough around the edges

Sprinkles & Scurvy: oneshot for the Summer Sizzle. Rick helps Stan remember him after amnesia from Bill, they get ice cream from the Interdimensional Black Market, and get taken onto a Space Pirate ship. Just something silly I wrote in a few days for fun :)

Stanchrotica : oneshot porn, in-character like whoaaa, it’s hilarious and super hot at the same time! Highly recommend this one

The Best Bad Influence: centered around Stan in his treasure hunting days, age difference of Stan at 19 and Rick at around 26, Stan’s characterization is A+, and there’s lots of time-period-accurate music involved. 2 chapters are up but this has some big future plans, it probably will get really lengthy. I’m helping beta read and edit for it!

The Jock and the Geniuses: 80s setting, super duper long and a slow burn, Stan and Rick live as roommates and get into all kinds of shenanigans with Unity, the Flesh Curtains, the newly assembling Council of Ricks, and it elaborates on the show’s brainwave theory with Stan as a Neutralizer. Features asexual Stan and pansexual Rick. This fanfic was my very first delve into the Stanchez pairing :o

We Gotta Go: oneshot of Rick talking Stan down from a panic attack, and it’s really awesome and sweet!!

What Happens in Space Vegas: HILARIOUS, a high-stakes alien shootout happens when the two go out to buy Stan viagra and Stan’s consciousness gets put into a sex bot, just a warning for gore mention

When Stan met Rick: really great retro 70s-80s time period, Rick is involved in interesting experiments involving LSD and seeing into alternate dimensions while high out of his skull, and the two of them have a really realistic and interesting gritty dynamic to their relationship!

When the Strangers Blew In: Pretty long, Western setting, a lot of trans characters, with fun period-accurate words/dialogue, and the mystery quartet with Fiddauthor, too!

You Are Stanley Pines and You Are Morty Smith: really neat full color comics! I haven’t seen a lot of comics and choose-your-own adventure like these ones, and they’re really fun

ASK ME STANCHEZ STUFF WHENEVER. This ship has me fucking whipped… if that wasn’t obvious enough lmfaoo

#stanchez #fic recs #fanfic #Anonymous #anon #asks

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crossroadsdimension · 8 years ago

Text

Lucky!Ford AU

Whelp. It’s about time that I posted the next chapter for this. We get some very Ford-ish shenanigans in this one. :) Thanks to @howtotrainyournana for beta-reading this for me!

Chapter 3

“G-great-Uncle Ford?”

“Hm?” Ford stopped frowning at his breakfast and the hairs of his brother that happened to be stuck in it. “What is it, Dipper?”

The boy fidgeted a little under his great-uncle’s gaze. “I...I think I might know who has the second journal.”

“Well, why didn’t you speak up sooner?” Stan growled from the stove as he flipped a pancake.

“We weren’t sure whether or not he did have it, so we sent Wendy to spy on his house while you guys were downstairs yesterday,” Dipper explained quickly.

“Yeah!” Mabel nodded. “And when she got back, she said there was some strange stuff going on at his house, and she was able to confirm that he has it!”

“Who has it?” Ford demanded.

“Gideon Gleeful.” The redhead -- who had stayed overnight -- twirled a fork between her fingers. “Ugh, I hate that kid. He keeps stealing my moisturizer.”

Stan groaned. “I know you kids haven’t had the best of times with that kid, but do you really need to take out your anger on him by siccing my brother on that fake psychic?”

“The bolo tie he had was a psychic amulet!” Dipper shot back. “And he’s had this really weird obsession with the house!”

Ford’s eyebrows rose at that. “Psychic amulet?”

Stan also paused and looked over at Dipper. “Yeah, it is kinda weird that he wants our house when he already has one.”

“Weird nothing.” Wendy pulled a flashlight with a crystal tied to the bulb end out of her shirt. “I used Dipper’s shrinking ray to sneak into his house and poke around a little. Nearly got sucked up by the vacuum twice -- his mother never stops and I have no idea why -- and when I finally got to his room, I found a book that looked like Dipper’s sitting in what looked like some kind of shrine.”

“I didn’t see that when he shrank us,” Dipper muttered, frowning. “How did I miss it?”

“It looked recent; probably in the last couple of days,” Wendy supplied. “Honestly, I’m lucky that he wasn’t there when I was.”

“May I see that?” Ford motioned to the flashlight. As Wendy handed it over, he asked, “You called this a ‘shrinking ray’?”

Dipper’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! I found that crystal in the woods -- l-like you said in the journal, where you said you saw animals in strange sizes? There’s a whole lot of those crystals in the woods, and if you shine light through them at a certain angle, it grows or shrinks whatever the light’s aimed at!”

“Really? I assume flipping the crystal changes it between a shrinking and an enlarging ray, then?” Ford ran his fingers over the crystal on the flashlight in interest. “Fascinating!” He pointed it at his fork and quickly flicked the light switch, causing the bit of silverware to suddenly increase in size by a couple inches. He flipped the crystal over and reversed the increase in size a moment later. “Simply fascinating!”

Dipper bounced up and down in his seat. “I know, right?? I really wish I had access to a microscope or something so that I’d be able to see what the crystal’s structure is on a microscopic level! I’d have to be careful not to get my eye shrunk or doubled in size, though.”

“Well, obviously. And have you tried other kinds of light other than natural or incandescent? That could bring up a myriad of alternate affects.” Ford handed the flashlight back over to Dipper. “I would like a look at these crystal growths myself, as well.”

“R-really?”

Stan cleared his throat. “Don’t we have that journal and that Gideon brat to worry about first?”

Dipper slapped his forehead as Ford blinked a couple times, sliding back into focus and away from the discovery that Dipper had just shown him.

“Right, right! If he’s got the second journal, then we’ve gotta get it back from him!” Dipper slammed a fist into an open palm, reminiscent of an action from Stanley from years long past.

“Agreed.” Ford rose to his feet. “How old is this Gideon?”

“He’s younger than us,” Dipper replied. “Ten, I think.”

“And really creepy.” Mabel shuddered. “Not good boyfriend material.”

“Not to mention he’s been eating into my paying customers.” Stan scoffed. “He’s just a puny little stage magician.”

“Not just a puny stage magician,” Dipper responded. “He tried to kill me because I told him Mabel didn’t want to see him anymore! I bet he knows his ways around spells and who knows what other kinds of things because he’s got one of Great-Uncle Ford’s journals!”

Ford’s trigger finger twitched. “Where does he live?”

Dipper quickly gave Ford the address. “His dad owns a used car lot right next door.”

“Worst bunch’a lemons that I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Stan added. “Seriously, you drive one out of his car lot and it breaks down as soon as it gets on the street. I’ve seen that happen to bozos, and they just turn right around and go buy another one.” He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Wants me to sell to him. Like that’s ever gonna happen.”

Ford hardly listened to his brother as he moved away from the table. Checking to make sure that there was a blaster still at his hip (which there was), he started towards the door.

“Great-Uncle Ford, wait!” Dipper scrambled after him as Ford stepped out onto the porch. “L-let me come with you -- Mabel and I have gone against Gideon before; maybe we could--”

“Dipper, as much as I would appreciate your help, I don’t think it would be wise for you to come with me,” Ford replied seriously.

“We could distract Mr. Gleeful for you.” Wendy came up behind the two of them, Mabel right next to her. “He’s probably the only thing standing between you and that creep, and he’d probably call the cops on you if you tried to do anything.”

“Y-yeah!” Dipper nodded vigorously in agreement. “We’ve handled going up against them before -- it shouldn’t be a problem keeping his attention away from Gideon for...fifteen minutes?”

“Hm.” Ford inclined his head slightly. “Getting the attention of the local authorities would make things more difficult….”

Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy all fixed him with determined expressions.

“Very well; but do not let on that you are aware of my being in the area.” Ford paused to consider something. “Is he aware of what Gideon is up to?”

“Probably?” Dipper scratched his head.

“Try definitely!” Stan called from the kitchen. He appeared in the doorway behind the kids and frowned at Ford in his tan trench coat and red sweater -- clothes that had been untouched over the thirty years that Ford had been gone. “Least you could’a done is worn that black stuff you came in with. Give that brat a good scare while you’re climbing through his window or something.”

“No time for that,” Ford replied crisply. “Kids, you go on ahead and try to catch this ‘Mr. Gleeful’ and hold his attention for as long as possible.”

Mabel rubbed her hands together eagerly. “I’m gonna go call Candy and Grenda! I’m sure they’ll wanna help!” She scrambled back into the house and up the stairs, just barely avoiding the pig that came crawling out from under the kitchen table.

Wendy pulled something out of her pocket, smirking. “I bet Thompson and the others are up for egging his car lot again.”

“M-maybe we can TP them, too!” Dipper added. “Grunkle Stan went and got some more recently -- I’ll go grab a couple rolls!” He disappeared into the house.

“Now you’re talkin!” Wendy called after him with a laugh.

“Word of advice!” Stan called. “The cops may be dunderheads on the best of days, but they do still have a soft spot for that brat and his dad. You’re gonna need something to distract them with if they happen to get called in for vandalism!”

“Not a problem, Mr. P!” Wendy held what Ford guessed was a phone up to her ear. “Lee, get the gang together. Wanna bug Mr. Gleeful again? Yeah -- get the gang together and park by the junkyard. We’re gonna need a McGucket-sized distraction if we’re gonna keep the cops off our backs this time.”

Ford did a double-take. “You know McGucket?”

Something in his voice caused Wendy to look over at him with an odd expression. “Y-yeah, I’ll meet you there with Dipper and Mabel.” She pulled the device away from her ear and looked at Ford with her eyebrows furrowed together in a concerned expression. “Look, Mr. Pines 2, I don’t know what Old Man McGucket was like thirty years ago, but he’s a crazy old man who lives in the junkyard.”

“Crazy?” Ford repeated.

“Yeah. Whatever he saw in that portal thing must’a done something to his mind or something.” Wendy shrugged.

It took a moment for that to sink in; Ford shook his head. “No, no it wasn’t that. It can’t have been...the Nightmare Realm was nightmare-inducing, yes, but….” Something else flickered into his mind, then, and his eyes widened. “Oh, no. I told him to destroy that infernal device before it was too late!”

“What device?” Dipper came back to the door, arms full of toilet paper rolls.

“Candy and Grenda are ready to roll!” Mabel chirped as she followed after him.

Ford shook his head, forcing memories of another time into the back of his mind and adding something else to the short list of things he needed to do now that he was back in his home dimension. “Good. Then let’s move out.”

Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy clambered into what looked like a golf cart and took off down the road towards town. Ford followed after them at a decent run, his thirty years being on the run leaving him hardly winded by the time he left the woods and reached the town itself. Remembering the address that Dipper had given him, Ford turned down a few streets and jogged past some of the locals without so much as glancing at them. He noticed the wide-eyed stares he got from them; cries of “Stan, where are you off to in such a hurry?!” rang in his ears.

Obviously, Stan had become a bit of an important figure in the town. Or, at least, a well-known one.

Which meant that kicking him out of the house and onto the street would certainly get him a lot of flack for it. Maybe even a mob, if he was that unlucky.

Ford pushed the thought out of his head as he was passed by a blue minivan with a crowd of teenagers hanging out the windows and hollering at the top of their lungs while an old man with a really long beard danced on top of the roof. The dancing stopped after a moment when the old man and Ford’s eyes met for a second, causing Ford to blink a couple times out of confusion.

Is that…?

The van turned a corner sharply; Ford caught sight of Dipper and Mabel in the back window before the vehicle disappeared from sight. He slowed his run as he reached the turn in the street and peered around the fence.

The van parked a few blocks away from a rather nice-looking house; the old man on the roof stood there for a moment, then scrambled to pull something out of his beard as he leaned over to look down at the teenagers who were climbing out of the vehicle below him. He saw Dipper call something up to the man, who nodded and fidgeted a little before looking over at a fenced-in area across the street. He aimed an odd-looking contraption at the area and fired.

A moment later, a rather rotund man came stumbling out, patting out a fire that had manifested on his hat. He shook a fist at the old man, who screeched and leapt off the van before running off on all fours.

When Ford saw Dipper and the others start pulling out egg cartons and toilet paper rolls, he dashed across the street to the house.

“Gideon’s up on the second floor!” Wendy yelled as Ford jumped over the fence. He gave a quick wave in response before he started scaling the side of the house in order to get to one of the windows on the second floor.

“Wow!” one of the boys yelped. “Look at him go!”

“Less talking, more TP-ing!” Dipper yelped back. “Before Bud gets back!”

“You got it, little man!”

While the teenagers started hooting and hollering below him, Ford started peering through the windows of the second floor in an attempt to find the boy Gideon’s bedroom.

He was lucky enough to find the boy’s room at the first window, but alarmed when he saw what it was that the little white-haired boy was doing.

Ford grabbed onto the upper edge of the window and jumped forward into the window, feet first.

Crash!

The boy -- Gideon -- squealed like a pig and scrambled back in instinctive shock as the glass shards flew across the room. Some embedded themselves in the candles that were around the circle that had been drawn into the wooden floor.

Ford flew in and stomped down on the triangular shape that was in the center of the circle. He made it a point to scuff the eye out with a boot before he turned his gaze to Gideon and the familiar red and gold book that the boy was holding in his chubby little hands.

“Wh-who -- how dare you!” The wide-eyed expression on Gideon’s face quickly turned to one of anger. “Do you realize what you’ve done?! It took me hours to get that just right, and now you’ve broken the--”

“Give me my journal,” Ford growled, cutting the rant off. “Now, boy.”

“--circle -- your journal?” Gideon blinked abruptly in confusion.

“Yes. My journal.” Ford moved closer as Gideon scooted back across the floor, wide-eyed. “That kind of information isn’t something that a child like you should have access to. Hand it over, before you cause irreparable damage to the universe as we know it.”

“Y-you’re the Author?” Gideon’s back bumped against the wall, and he stared in dumbfounded confusion. “B-but -- y-ya look like Stanford Pines! A-are you--”

Ford reached down and grabbed the journal, all six fingers exposed for Gideon to see. The boy’s eyes widened even further as Ford growled out, “Stay away from my house and my research. The knowledge that these books contain is too dangerous for you to comprehend.” He turned and looked down at the circle that had been drawn in the middle of the bedroom floor and scuffed more of the lines, putting out the candles and making sure that the entire thing was completely unrecognizable, much less salvageable.

There came the sound of feet thumping on the stairs outside of the room, causing Ford to turn his head sharply.

“I-I have so many questions.” Gideon rose to his feet, looking amazed.

“I am not going to answer them,” Ford snapped in reply. “If I see you anywhere near my house again, I am going to make sure that you question the decision for the rest of your life.”

With that, he jumped out the window and rolled to a stop a short distance from the road.

The blue van that he’d seen before drove up in front of the house; one of the side doors was yanked open.

“Get in!” Dipper yelled.

Ford dove in without argument, and Dipper slammed the door shut as the man crouched between two seats -- and two teenage boys, who stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. The van lurched forward with a screech a moment later, leaving the Gleeful house far, far behind.

“Did you get it?” Dipper asked from where he’d scrambled into the back.

Ford held up the familiar journal, a number 2 written onto the hand on the cover. He quickly hid it away in his coat a moment later. “That boy was about to do something very foolish; I appreciate that you managed to alert me to his presence and had the foresight to check to see if he had it.”

Dipper made a noise that sounded like a muted squeal in response. “I-I’m just glad I could help, Great-Uncle Ford!”

“Thanks for the help, guys!” Mabel added.

“Dude, any excuse to egg that guy’s car lot is a good excuse.” The teenage boy on Ford’s left gave a wide grin. “He’s going to be so steaming mad, I bet you could cook an egg on him!”

The entire van burst out laughing, and despite himself, Ford found himself smiling a little at the thought as well.

“Ya know, Old man McGucket got a little freaked when he saw this guy,” the teenager on Ford’s right remarked. “Any idea why that is?”

Ford’s smile disappeared abruptly. “It’s none of your business.”

“Easy, dude, I was just asking a question.”

Ford saw Wendy look back from the front passenger seat for a moment, then looked at the rather round boy driving. “Stop by the junk yard again before we get back to the Shack.”

“A-are you crazy?”

“Thompson, just do it. This probably isn’t going to take very long.”

Thompson shifted nervously in his seat, but he did as he was told. A few minutes later, they had driven past a tall wooden fence and into a yard that was filled to the brim with wrecked cars and other devices that had long since lost their ability to be used.

Wendy turned around again and looked down at where Ford was crouched. “Mr. Pines, we’re here.” She paused. “He, uh...I don’t know if he remembers you, but--”

Ford shook his head. “If I come out into the open now, he’s going to fly into a panic and force himself to forget again with the memory gun.”

The teens exchanged looks at that in confusion.

“Memory gun…?” Dipper trailed off. “There was something about that in the Journal, but...didn’t you say that was destroyed?”

“I’d hoped it was. However, considering Fiddleford’s present state, I…” Ford ran a hand down his face. He couldn’t afford to let his emotions run rampant. “I don’t think that now is the best time to talk to him.”

Thompson seemed to take that as the signal to start backing out of the junk yard, but then a loud shriek came from somewhere outside the van.

“LET ME GO YOU VARMINTS!”

Ford’s head shot up at the old man’s scream, eyes widening. Before Thompson could punch the van back any further or bring it to a halt, Ford had pushed the side door open and barreled out of the van and into a small group of red-robed individuals, kicking and punching them back with a lot more force than was to be expected from most men his age.

Ford positioned himself between the bearded, hunched over, trembling figure and the red robes, scanning them quickly. When he saw one of them pull out what looked like a gun with a light bulb on one end, he lunged for him and flattened him against the ground.

Ford’s knee slammed down on the man’s hand, shattering the gun-like device.

Crack!

The yell of pain that came from the man a moment later indicated that Ford had broken his hand as well.

“How dare you!” one of the robed figures yelled. “That was from the founder -- our only remaining--!”

“Can it!” Ford barked back. “I’ll hit you so hard you’d think you’re the founder if you don’t get back!”

The man Ford had tackled scrambled out from under him, cradling his hand close to his chest as the others gathered around him.

“I wish we could unsee this,” one of them complained.

“You can’t unsee anything; those memory guns don’t work forever,” Ford snapped in reply. “The memories can and will come back, given the proper triggers.” He waved them off. “Get out of my sight, before I make you regret even more coming after this man.” He made a rather dramatic show of reaching for his blaster.

The red robes scattered, running out of the junk yard in a mad, scrambling panic, screaming at the tops of their lungs, “It is unseen!”

“Not anymore, you crazed lunatics!” Ford shook a fist after them, but they were already out of sight. He relaxed his stance and sighed, shaking his head.

“...Stanford?”

Ford turned his head a little at the nervous lilt in the voice behind him. He closed his eyes and sighed before turning around completely to look down at the man whose life he had just saved.

Fiddleford McGucket stared back up at him with wide eyes, looking Ford up and down as though he was searching for something. “I-Is...is that really you?”

Ford hesitated. He could very well turn and run and get the kids out of the junk yard with him at this moment -- he didn’t want to talk to Fiddleford now, but...if he had a chance, while he still remembered….

Ford sighed again and dropped down into a crouch, causing Fiddleford to scramble back a little at the movement. “It’s me, Fiddleford.”

Fiddleford stared at him with a disbelieving expression.

Ford fidgeted a little under the other’s gaze, adjusting how his trench coat furled out behind him. “I, uh...I destroyed the portal yesterday. I couldn’t before because...well, you were right, Fiddleford, and I ended up trapped on the other side. I did manage to find a way home without...without you know who getting through.”

Fiddleford sucked in a breath sharply at that, his eyes widening.

Ford’s gaze wandered away from his old friend and to what looked like a shack made out of scrap metal. Was that where Fiddleford has been living for the last thirty years? “He won’t be able to get into this dimension anymore; I’ve made sure of that.” He paused. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for everything that happened between us. At this point in time, I’m just...I’m glad to have seen you. I’d understand if you didn’t want to--”

Suddenly there was something -- no, someone -- colliding against his front, causing Ford to lose his balance out of surprise as Fiddleford slammed into him.

“You big idiot.” Fiddleford’s voice was muffled against Ford’s sweater as the two of them lay on the ground. “You big, idiotic idiot.” He lifted his head and looked at Ford, who was watching him with a saddened expression.

“I know,” Ford replied. “And I’m sorry for it.”

Fiddleford rapped his knuckles against Ford’s side, but the action didn’t have much force behind it. “You’re more muscle-y than I can remember.” He sounded slightly surprised.

“Thirty years on the run can do that to a man.” Ford paused, then reached up a hand and rapped it against the side of his head.

Clang clang.

The noise caused Fiddleford to stiffen up.

“I’ve taken precautions against the demon,” Ford explained. “He can’t get into my mind; no one can tamper with it, in fact.”

Fiddleford blinked owlishly a couple times, then reached up himself and rapped against Ford’s head, getting the same sound. He pulled his hand back quickly. “Ford, what happened to you?”

Ford looked away from Fiddleford at the question. “I suppose...I learned my lesson the hard way.”

“Well, I gathered that. You Pines are all too stubborn for yer own good! It’s like everythin’ has to be pounded into yer skulls before you learn anythin’!” Fiddleford started pounding his fists against Ford’s head, producing a cacophony of noise.

“Ow ow ow!” Ford pulled his head back and put his hands between his head and Fiddleford’s hands. “I may have a metal plate in my head, but that doesn’t mean that doesn’t hurt!”

“Good! Cause it means I can still pound more lessons in if ya don’t listen!” Fiddleford shot back. “Have ya made up wit’ yer brother yet?”

“Wha--”

“ ‘Cause I can remember him bein’ nice ta me more ‘n a few times, an’ if yer gonna keep on bein’ stubborn, then I’m gonna reinvent the memory gun an’ wipe out the incident that got you two feudin’ in the first place!” Fiddleford’s voice was slowly getting louder. “I know family feuds, an’ if ya don’ do somethin’ now, yer gonna end up splittin’ yer family in two fer so long that they’re fightin’ just fer the sake of fightin’, and then where are ya gonna be, huh?!”

The junkyard fell silent at that. Ford had a guilty sort of look on his face as he turned his head to look away from Fiddleford again.

“So go back and talk to him ya big lug!” Fiddleford started pounding on Ford’s head again, causing the other to react by pushing the bearded man off and scrambling to his feet. “Go on, git! An’ the next time I see ya, it better be wit’ yer brother!” He shook a fist at Ford in a threatening manner, but there was a spark in his eyes that said he was equally humored and angry.

Ford scrambled back to the van and climbed in, shutting the door behind him and dropping into his previous position between the seats as Thompson backed out of the junkyard and drove out of town. None of the kids looked at Ford; they must have heard most of the conversation.

Ford sighed and put his head in his hands, then felt a pair of hands on his back and glanced back.

Dipper and Mabel gave him reassuring sorts of smiles.

“If there’s anything we can do to help, Great-Uncle Ford,” Dipper said, “you can count on us.”

“Yeah.” Mabel nodded in agreement. “Anything to get you two to hug it out!”

Ford stared at the two of them with a sort of uncertain expression, then gave a quick little smile in response before returning his attention to the front of the van.

He wasn’t entirely sure what was going to happen now, or if the kids were in fact able to help him. He had been thirty years too far gone from this plane of existence, and it showed.

Ford found himself quietly dreading the amount of time he was going to have to spend adjusting back to his home Earth.

#cross' fanfiction #gravity falls #lucky!ford #pines family #fidds #gideon #this was really fun to work on #mostly because of Ford getting two things taken care of in one chapter #also: fiddleford whacking a rhythm away on the top of ford's head #I like doing ford shenanigans like this because it's really really fun #I bet you guys know what's coming in for the next chapter #mabel and dipper aren't simply going to let things lie where they are now #especially since fiddleford basically just told ford to go and talk things out #heh heh heh

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