#I wanna fistfight this man

[spookyhologramyouth]

I genuinely start tweaking when I start listening to Strangers by Ethel Cain. Like girl what do you mean he's handsome when your all over him? He is devouring you after he killed you. Why are you concerning about being good? You just got murdered. Girlie I love you but this is not it. What do you mean you don't blame him for loving you like this? He doesn't love you, he took you away from you mother and pimped you out. And that fact she asks if she's making him feel sick because she genuinely cares. Ethel, my girl, you deserved so much more.

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Dallas flirting with Soda is so funny to me 😭 cus Steve gets all jealous, and Dally is just making fun of him going, “I’m gonna steal your girl” while grinning and trying not to laugh his ass off, while Steve gets all mad.

No fr fr- Soda plays along a bit too, she likes feeling fought over lol

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

ohhh my godddd i honestly didnt see mike's appeal at all at first,, but i am not immune to propaganda thirst tiktoks. . . like yess ofc i can babysit your sister and you dont even gotta pay me (not with money at least *looks with utmost disrespect*)

there's just something about the pathetic and loser vibes that this man has that just makes him so fucking attractive to me. he's running on 2 hours of sleep and looks like a soggy cat but he's the sexiest man alive to me <33

[trollbreak]

I need another silly little guy that commits war crimes, I think

[thestarrynightslover]

The Trials of Dating in Secrecy

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Word count: 2,374

Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst, workplace romance, nudity, and verbal sexual harassment (all very light).

Summary: Okay, so this one features a bit of work issues (workplace romance), and a bit of jealous!Harvey + Harvey taking care of his girl, as requested by Anon.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Well this is the first request I took and I’ll admit that it was a bit challenging, not cause it was particularly hard but because I wasn’t super inspired at first, nor did I have the time. Though, now, I think it worked? Idk, don’t feel like this was my best work either but feel free to leave some feedback, and thanks for reading!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

“Seriously, Harvey!” You let out annoyed. “I think I should probably go home now,” you said, thinking that if you did go home you could keep yourself from saying something you might regret later. 

“Oh, really? So now you're mad at me because I’m simply asking a bit more of this relationship?” He asked, looking ready to have a full-on fight.

“No, Harvey! What I’m actually upset about is how you’re making today all about yourself and your needs, when I’m the one going through it all!” You really didn’t wanna shout but the little bit of patience you had left vanished when his questions reminded you of the little stunt he’d pulled today.

Earlier that day, at the firm, you had been giving a consult to a prospective client on an intellectual property lawsuit he may be looking at and the guy seemed a bit disinterested in his own situation, giving you — and by you, you mean your body — most of his attention. But that was fineish, it was a regular occurrence, being a young woman in that field, so you didn’t really mind it anymore, at this point — after all, ignoring the occasional sexual harassment was usually the easiest route to advancing in your career. The problem was that the man started interrupting your professional analysis to hit on you, and eventually, he reached for your forearm, caressing it as he spoke. And that was exactly when Harvey, the man you’d secretly been dating for about 7 months now, decided to walk into your office. As he entered your office, you yanked your arm out of the man’s grasp but you couldn’t shut him up just as quickly, so your boyfriend got there just in time to hear a “So, if you really like yourself a sturdy stallion,” he pointed at a framed picture of you riding a horse on the wall behind you, “you should ride mine, someday. If you know what I mean,” he finalized with a wink, and how on Earth could you — or anyone hearing that — not know what he meant when he had said it so suggestively? 

“What did you just say to her?” Harvey’s voice came sharply, indicating he was about to get into a fistfight with the man who was probably not going to be your client now.

“Oh, we’re just chatting about- uh, who are you, again?” The shorter guy had the nerve to ask.

After that, Harvey was so quick to hoist the man up from the chair in front of you, by the collar of his dress shirt, that you didn’t even have time to react before he started punching the guy right in the face.

“I’m her boyfriend, that’s who I am! And you will be out of here before I take you out myself.” The man didn’t fall backward solely because Harvey had a hold on him, still, so he just stared at the other attorney in shock. “What are you looking at? Get out!” Harvey shouted once again, tossing the man towards your office door.

After that, you tried calming Harvey down but you barely had any time for it before Jessica and Louis barged into your office, revolted by their partner’s behavior and asking what had gotten into him to attack a prospective client like that.

“The prick was propositioning my-” But you cut him off before he could complete his sentence.

“He was harassing me during the meeting, and Harvey walked in and heard it, and, as a good colleague, he wanted to defend my honor, I guess,” you said with a short, humorless laugh while making air quotes with your fingers.

“A good colleague?” The tall senior partner asked quietly, hurt pooling in his eyes.

“Well… That’s terrible but you know better than to do this, Harvey,” Jessica told him.

“You know, I’d never thought I’d see the day you would act like such a caring gentleman for anyone, Specter,” Louis added, as always, eager to make things worse. “And, (y/n), at the very least you need to reach out to that man and take him out to an apology dinner. Because you are well aware of how important it is for you to get more clients.”

“Yes, I-” You stopped what you were saying mid-sentence because the man you loved was storming out of your office and all you wanted to do was chase after him.

“And now you’re gonna let him get off with that shit he pulled this easy?” Louis shouted, obviously trying to be heard by Harvey too. “I mean, this firm is turning into a complete mess, Jessica! It’s like you can’t control your office anymore! A junior partner who barely has her own clients and a senior partner battering prospective clients? We’re gonna go bankrupt like this, if not sued for malpractice altogether! And-”

“Louis, will you shut up, for God’s sake? I’m the managing partner and I’ll deal with both of them. Now go and let me talk to (y/n) alone!” Your boss responded, making you apprehensive about the conversation you were about to have with her.

As he left the room, Jessica motioned for you to sit on the couch with her. “(y/n), first of all, are you okay? Because if that man did something to you, then…”

“No, no! The harassment was just verbal,” not that that made it any better, you thought to yourself. “Harvey intervened before it could get to that.”

“Right. Well, that’s a relief.” She paused for an instant, giving one of those smiles she used when she was going to convince you of something unpleasant. “Now, as much as it pains me to admit it, Louis is right. You need more clients. I didn’t think it’d be good to tell you this after our conversation but the board has been pressuring me about making personnel cuts. Directed mostly to the partners who aren’t producing much. And you know that I like your work, and see your value to the company but those old men in suits only care about numbers, so if you don’t manage to bring in a new client by the end of the week… I am going to push for you to go after that man’s account again. Using whatever means necessary.” She declared, still sporting that smile. “Are we clear?”

At that, a defeated “Yes, Jessica” was all you could mutter. And then she left. And all you could think about was how you’d somehow managed to screw up both your professional and personal life, all at once.

Leaving work that day, after setting up four meetings with potential clients for the following days, all you could think about was making up with Harvey, so you went to his place to talk. And that’s how you got to the argument you were having now. He was upset about the whole ‘good colleague’ thing and you were upset because you could have handled the situation without burning that bridge with the guy, which was multiplied by ten when you remembered that you were on deadline to get more clients — something you hadn’t told Harvey.

“Making it all about-” He’d started saying angrily but stopped himself and his voice instantly took on a soft, caring tone, “wait, what do you mean you’re going through it all?”

Now you realized what you’d said.

“Uh, I meant nothing. I was just being dramatic, is all,” you stated unconvincingly.

“No, that doesn’t make any sense. If anyone is dramatic in this relationship, it’s me and we both know it,” he said, making you crack a small smile, thinking of how right he was. “So tell me, honey, what’s going on?”

“I, um, I’m being encouraged, or, better said, ordered to expand my client list.” There, you’d said it.

“What? Why?”

“You know why, Harvey. You just can’t be a partner at the firm if you don’t bring enough money in.” You told him, defeated.

“But… but you’re so good! You bring such good attention to the company’s name, your clients might actually be more satisfied with your work than mine, and they are very satisfied with my work,” he said matter-of-factly with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, maybe. But you might not know this because you've always been a man and Jessica’s protégé but for the rest of us, women trying to be successful at Pearson, the bar is just much higher, babe. And they're threatening to take away my partnership, maybe even my job altogether, if I don't get it done,” you finally finished your confession with teary eyes, even though you didn’t want to cry about it.

“That’s… that’s just unacceptable!” He let out, running his hands through his hair, “Did- does Jessica know about that? Because I can-” He tried to go on with his speech but you cut him off.

“She knows, Harvey. She says she likes my work but her hands are tied.” You let him know, sighing a little.

“But… that’s not… that doesn’t make any sense! It’s just not like Jessica to give in like that…” Harvey commented, starting to look defeated as well.

“Maybe when it’s about someone like you. But with me? She might not even be trying all that hard.” To which he responded with a mischievous glint in his eyes, perking up.

“Then, I’ll talk to her! I’ll tell her that, if she doesn’t secure your place in the company, I’m going to start listening to those offers I get all the time!” He said smiling widely this time.

“Harvey! You can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’d be incredibly stupid, and unprofessional, and-” You didn’t wanna finish your sentence but you had to. “And, that way, she’ll know.”

“Know?”

“About us. That we’re dating,” you finished sighing again.

“She’ll kn-” he stopped mid-sentence, full of disbelief. “And what’s so wrong with that?”

“Harvey…”

“No, don’t ‘Harvey’ me, (y/n)! If you don’t want me to help because it’d be unprofessional, then that’s okay. I can understand that. But what exactly are you trying to tell me, huh? That our relationship’s never gonna see the light of day? Or are you trying to break up with me?” That last question came out of him in such a low tone you could barely believe had come from him.

“No! Of course I don’t wanna break up-”

“Then tell me what do you want? Because I don’t understand why I can’t tell the world that I’m your boyfriend. I don’t get what’s so wrong about your boyfriend telling off a prick who can’t keep his hands to himself around another man’s woman-”

“Do you seriously think now is a good time to be possessive?”

“Oh, honey, I am possessive by nature. Especially around you,” he stated coming closer to where you were standing. And you could do nothing but welcome his warmth, after all, it’d been a long day.

As you stepped fully into his embrace and rested your head on his chest, you told him “I love you, Harvey. I don’t wanna break up with you. And I want you to tell the world that I’m your girlfriend, even Jessica,” hearing that, his eyes lit up. “But, as much of a prick as that man was, you need to understand that I can handle myself and that you need to give me space to make my own way at work, just like you made yours.”

“You’re right.”

“I know,” you joked, trying to shrug your shoulders at him.

“And I won’t try to interfere at work anymore. But don’t think that I’m just gonna stand around doing nothing if I see someone trying to mess with my girl again.”

“Well, that-”

“I’m not done yet,” he said, silencing you in an instant, “you should also know that, when you’re home with me, you’re mine to take care of.”

“Yeah? And how exactly do you plan on doing that?” You asked him with a smug smile.

His only response was swiftly picking you up and taking you to his suite’s bathroom, where he gently sat you down on the edge of the tub, just to start running the hot water into the bath he’d already filled with delicious-smelling bathing salts. “Wait here, baby.”

A bit later he came back carrying some candles he started lighting with one of the matches from a box he had in his other hand.

“What are you doing, Harv?”

“Just come over here,” he said after having spread the candles all throughout his spacious bathroom. They were scented too, you noticed. The second you reached him, though, instead of holding you close, he started taking off your clothes, slow and gentle, piece by piece. Which he followed up with little kisses all over your now bare skin. After being satisfied with his work of making you forget everything, he picked you up again and, this time, carefully dipped you into the bathtub. “Now, you just lay back and relax, darling.”

“You’re not joining me?” You asked him hopefully.

“No, I’m taking care of your dinner,” right after he left, though, one of your favorite songs started playing softly on a speaker he’d set somewhere.

You probably dozed off in that tub, because before you knew it you were being held by your boyfriend in his bed, still completely naked. “Hey.”

“Good morning beautiful,” he greeted you with a grin, “you know, you were taking so long to wake up, that I was starting to think that the breakfast I made you was gonna get cold.”

“Wait a second, last night you were making me dinner and this morning you made me breakfast… two for two! What’s happening to you?” You asked, giggling like a child.

“Nothing, nothing! It’s just… I told you, at home, I take care of you, that’s all.” He told you while he guided you out of the bed, handing you one of his shirts altogether. 

“You know, you keep saying ‘at home’ but this isn’t really our home…” As you put on his dress shirt, you followed him towards his living room. 

“It could be…” And that’s when you saw a set of keys at the dinner table by the cutlery.

[tobiasdrake]

Here we go. It's time to talk about my personal fave. As I said before, this is my Main. In Dragon Ball fighting games, this is the character I seek out to play whenever the roster allows. Also arguably the character who's been done the most dirty by just about every form of Dragon Ball, manga included.

The vanguard of a brand new status quo and a brand new direction for what Dragon Ball would even be, washed away by the tides of a status quo resetting to zero.

We're here to talk about the champion of Satan City who carries the spirit of Dragon Ball in her heart: Videl.

(And that is one cookie to @jcogginsa who guessed it.)

Videl was a kid with a chip on her shoulder. I mean. How could you not be? Her father was the legendary world martial arts champion who famously defeated Cell seven years ago.

Don't pay attention to that. He just tripped for a moment. Once he got his second wind, he came right back and showed Cell what for! It was due entirely to Mr. Satan and nobody else that the Earth was spared from the apocalyptic horror that is Cell.

Look, he even said so himself.

Are you gonna call that man a liar? The man who defeated Cell!? I think we can trust Satan's word over yours.

This is the shadow that Videl grew up under. Raised in what had previously been called Orange City, but was renamed Satan City in honor of the world's greatest hero.

Or "Hercule City/Herculopolis" in the versions that edit out Satan's name.

As his daughter, Videl has a perspective on Satan that neither the world nor the audience gets to see: He's a womanizing playboy who cashes in on his world-savior fame for booty.

He also forbids his teenage daughter from dating by putting up the stipulation that any boy interested in her has to be stronger than him, the world champion - A stipulation naturally designed to weed out any possible suitors through intimidation. Wanna date Videl? FISTFIGHT THE MAN WHO DEFEATED CELL.

Oh, but he doesn't teach her a goddamn thing; At least, not anymore, as she does suggest there was once a time when he was her mentor. She's forced to study martial arts entirely on her own because her dad is utterly disinterested in her development in the art.

This is an angle on Satan we never get to see onscreen. Apparently he's pretty shitty about women. You know, I can believe that.

Videl, when we meet her, is trapped in an unenviable position as a martial artist. She hates what the fame of being a legend has done to her dad and wants to knock him down a peg, but she has no foundation to develop her abilities from. The one man who's supposed to be teaching her isn't doing it, and she's been passively discouraged from pursuing more esoteric martial arts because the world champion said that stuff's all fake.

Videl makes for a fascinating foil to Gohan, because they're both children living in the shadows of legendary fathers.

Gohan is expected to be Goku's successor, but wants to live a peaceful life of academia. Meanwhile, Videl is being denied the ability to become Mr. Satan's successor, but craves the opportunity to prove herself.

Nonetheless, both of these kids are prodigies. Videl has a wealth of potential. She doesn't even realize that, despite these limitations, she surpassed her father long ago. Despite being a self-taught teenager with zero comprehension of ki cultivation, Videl hones her skills and developers her art the only way that's available to her: By punching it out with armed robbers in the region.

Backpack Town isn't even her city! She's a one-woman SWAT team for the tri-state area.

As ambitious and driven as she is, Videl is also clever. The anime extrapolates the adventures of the Great Saiyaman into a several-episode arc as Gohan deftly avoids detection by Videl over and over again, but this has the knock-on effect of depriving Videl of one of her best moments.

Because she pegs him instantly. She was already suspicious of Gohan being the mysterious "Golden Warrior", when he tried to use his Super Saiyan form to disguise himself as a superhero.

Which also showed that she was open-minded about the other people who fought Cell. Satan says they were doing a bunch of tricks, but Videl's willing to consider the possibility that there exist people who can turn blond on command.

And then Gohan did this shit.

Because he was raised in the woods by the devil and Goku. Despite trying to keep a low profile, he has absolutely no idea what the baseline for ordinary human ability is.

So. Y'know.

That's pretty fucking suspicious.

Which brings us to Gohan's second outing as Great Saiyaman, and his first meeting with Videl under his new identity. Whereupon she, uh....

Plays him like a fucking sap. It's a great moment that doesn't get its due if it takes several episodes and misadventures for her to reach this point. Videl is exceptionally skilled in the field of paying attention to that time Gohan jumped thirty feet in the air and naturally drawing conclusions from it.

And also his voice and posture and other dead giveaways. Gohan sucks at secret identities.

He's just. So obviously Gohan. There's no way anyone would be fooled by this.

But she's not only adequate at seeing things with her eyes; She's also a legitimately brilliant martial artist in her own right. Due to her upbringing, she's had zero experience with ki cultivation for obvious reasons.

And yet she's talented enough and smart enough to pick up the basics of Bukujutsu in one day.

Oh, don't mind her; That's just Videl making a mockery of Tsuru-senryu by effortlessly devouring their signature technique. This is Goku's first Kamehameha all over again.

She may have started small but Videl learns fucking fast. She has all of the drive and the ambition that Gohan lacks. She wants to be part of this world, she has a ravenous hunger for self-improvement, she's clever and observant, and she picks up concepts insanely quickly.

Videl is fucking primed to be a key player in Dragon Ball's next generation.

...

So now we need to talk about what happened to Videl.

Videl has one major fight in the entire series: Her 25th Tenkaichi Budokai bout against Spopovich.

Which she absolutely dominates. She's stronger, better, and faster than Spopovich. Even the experienced martial artists agree that she's infinity times better than him in every way.

But there's something wrong with Spopovich. He's a decent martial artist, far from the top; He'd competed in the 24th Tenkaichi Budokai and made it through the qualifiers, but was eliminated in the first round. So, y'know, he had no chance in hell against Videl; She's already surpassed Mr. Satan, who won the 24th legitimately.

Uh, by virtue of none of the Kame-senryu or their rivals attending. Mr. Satan is top dog of the same weight class as Pamput from the 22nd.

But, despite being outclassed in every category, Spopovich is also a dead man walking.

He's similar to the Androids in a sense. Spopovich has no ki signature at all, nor does he get worn down by the damage he's taking. This is Vegeta vs. 18 and Piccolo vs. 17 all over again; He isn't feeling the pain from the hits she's landing on him, and so he's able to outlast.

But Spopovich isn't an Android. He's more like a zombie?

At one point, Videl cuts loose and breaks his goddamn neck. Because he's pushing her hard enough that she realizes she needs to go harder, but his body can't take harder. He isn't a match for her. He just. Isn't going down despite not being a match for her.

He can't take this level of force. But he and his ominously vacant absence of ki can put his head right back where it was and continue the fight, no problem. That's honestly scarier than if he'd regenerated.

Also despite not even having the barebones ki signature of a normal person, Spopovich can perform Bukujutsu and fire ki attacks.

Which a fighter of his meager ability shouldn't even be capable of.

All of this adds up to an unwinnable fight for Videl and the setup to... Something. This match has been criticized pretty heavily in the fandom because it gets pretty gruesome and doesn't have a payoff.

We've seen fights go fucking bad for our heroes before. Piccolo once broke all of Goku's arms and legs as well as shooting a hole in his chest, right here in this same arena.

But it's typically building to something. When our heroes get trashed, it's the lead-up to a reversal down the road. Maybe in the same fight. Maybe in a later one. And we seem to be heading in that direction?

After Spopovich and Yamu leave the tournament, we get VIdel a Senzu and she's right as rain.

Spopovich and Yamu steal energy from Gohan and fly off to Babidi's Ship so they can awaken Majin Buu. Kaioshin recruits the various protags to make that not be a thing that happens. And then. Something switches in the narrative flow of this arc.

You can feel it happen.

As our heroes prepare to pursue Spopovich and Yamu, Videl volunteers to join in as well. She's had her eyes opened to a whole new world or possibilities and is hungry to develop her abilities.

And. Then. One chapter later. It's suddenly decided that Videl will not be a part of this storyline after all, and she basically leaves the plot forever.

WHOOPS! Never mind! Didn't want this character here after all. Go home, Videl.

While her adversary Spopovich is unceremoniously unwritten from being a thing that exists.

Babidi just. Kills him. For no reason. Even though his job isn't done yet. Babidi's like, "Oh good, you collected a fraction of the energy we need; That's fine, you can be fired. I don't need anyone to finish the job."

We're just. We're not telling that story anymore. We already threw Videl in the trash; we don't need her nemesis. We're doing a different thing.

Also, because we still have too many characters in this scene, Dabra erases Krillin and PIccolo with magic spit that never comes up again or is meaningful in any way.

You'd think this would be, like, setting up something? Like. Having witnessed it ahead of time, Gohan's able to figure out something about the way Dabra's spit works. So when he fights Dabra in a climactic battle, he can turn this around.

Like when Goku was able to counter Tenshinhan's Taiyoken/Solar Flare in the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai, because he'd seen it before and understood how it works. That's usually what Dragon Ball does with this sort of advance notice of opponent abilities.

But. No. The most this ever comes up again is that it momentarily costs Gohan one of his gloves. It's just here to winnow down the cast because Toriyama brought too many characters to this scene.

You can feel the burnout taking hold. As janky as the Android arc was, the Buu arc's level of jank is through the roof.

And that became it for Videl. Denied any sort of payoff for her one fight and instead relegated to background character, Videl never got a chance to live up to the intriguing potential she was introduced with. She was the face of a new direction for Dragon Ball, a direction that ended up strangled in its crib as the series reverted to old ideas and old formulae - strangling her along with it.

Videl is a character I look at and can't help but wonder what could have been. What could have been if Gohan got to keep his focus, and Videl got to remain a key player in a story about him? What could have been if we got to see Videl developing her skills at the same fever-pace that she learned Bukujutsu with? What could have been if she got that rematch with Spopovich she seemed to have been promised by the narrative, and then got to stay involved throughout the Buu arc?

But I guess we'll never know.

[ieatchromebooks]

i cannot put into words how fucking embarrassing it is that most of my comfort characters are also characters i think are hot. now what do you MEAN i wanna rearrange zappa guilty gear’s guts?? why can’t i just look at him and smile and giggle without thinking abt bending him over. he’s cute yeah don’t get me wrong but jesus man. i can count the amount of times i’ve drawn him with his pants on with one hand. the autism is strong but so is the libido.

i don’t know WHAT higher power thought this would be funny. like yeah sure i guess i do think avery pokemon is hot! sure man! cool! he’s not just blorbo to me or whatever he’s a slutty boytoy malewife! yep mhm! do you not understand how annoying this is. i went to the doctor and i got a note that says “you are NOT NORMAL!” like in dream’s mask music video. i understand porn addicts and gooners but at what cost. i never wanted this to be the case i think i’d rather turn into dust.

no, brain, i wouldn’t like to desire this character carnally today thank you. yes i do get joy from thinking abt tying up a funny guy to a bed (consensually) and whimpering, forgive my crudeness, but i would muuuuch rather be like. normal about it, y’know? like to just giggle and kick my feet. not to giggle, kick my feet, and immediately open up a blank canvas on ibis. not saying it gets hard to focus or anything i’m able to control what i focus on pretty alright but damn is it distracting. i would like it to be comfort only sometimes. even if it is kinda funny to be so down bad about a fictional british guy with a funny voice and a funny joyous charismatic personality. it’s so fucking pathetic !!!! and not in the sexy way !!!!!!!!

tl;dr i want to fistfight god for making me so horrendously down bad for some of the blorbos from my games

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

One of the thoughts I touched upon regarding Harland in my NSFW headcanon post about him is the idea that he'd be a great hookup, but a terrible partner. After a bit more thinking (and, honestly, pondering possible threesome combinations for other pairs I'm working on stuff for, since I've yet to really try my hand at writing a scene with more than two people), I've decided that he would be an AMAZING sexual third to an already established couple. If you're gonna shoot your "my partner and I saw you from across the bar and we really like your vibe" shot with anyone, he should be a prime candidate.

For starters, he's not only detached enough to keep things uncomplicated between all of you, he strongly prefers to keep things that way, and will either back way off or completely disappear if he senses his presence is causing real shifts between the two of you. He enjoys having company and he enjoys making friends (especially if you're the kind of friends who get each other off), but he's not especially interested in laying down any deep roots anywhere. Putting too much stock into people only leads to loss in this world; he's all too familiar with that painful truth. If you're going down to the local watering hole for the night and wanna invite him to go along, he's game; ditto if you wanna invite him home with you afterwards. But if you're looking for a third partner to add into your life on a consistent basis, don't put his resume too high up on the pile. You'll be disappointed in your hiring choice.

He's more into women than men when it comes to the actual act itself, but what he's really into is being in control and feeling like the biggest swinging dick in the room (both literally and metaphorically). He's more than happy to get involved with whoever's closest and most in need of an attitude adjustment in the heat of things. With Harland, it's less about what genitals you both have and more about the energy you're bringing to the table. With a little enthusaism, he can be convinced into trying almost anything once...or twice.

There's something deep in him that really loves going home with a straight-presenting couple and fucking with both of their heads, though. One of his favorite things to do, sexually, is to make a woman cum so hard in front of her male partner that there's almost insecurity there; he finds that that sort of unspoken challenge often motivates people to turn in the best performance of their lives. If your man isn't one weird look away from starting a nude fistfight with him, he doesn't feel like he's doing his job properly. Maybe he needs to make you cum a few more times real quick to get his point across...

[prettyboypistol]

I saw your post about wanting something to write!! I love how you write all your stories they are so well thought through! I am a huge fan of soldier honestly (he's a silly guy I love) and I can never find any nsfw stories with him, if your willing id love to see how you would write a soldier x reader NSFW! I am honestly desperate for anything I can get my hands on that includes this silly man- thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night!!!

Soldier NSFW Headcanons! +18 dipshits

oh so you wanna fuck our dear solly? here's all you need to know before you dive in!

He's got a huuuge horny streak, but keeps it "professional"

Jane doesn't really know how to roleplay but has fantasies of dominating other men. His favorite fantasy is having a private on their knees and sucking him off.

Another fantasy is some cross-faction domination in the sewers where a fistfight gets a little too hot n heavy

If he's actually fucking someone/in a relationship, he's not too private about sex at all. He'll fuck you wherever you ask and whenever you ask (assuming he's not preoccupied)

I know it's popular to headcanon penis specs, but I honestly think Soldier is average size- slightly(but noticably!) thicker than average.

Solly loves wrestling into sex and accidentally discovered that 1. he was kind of into men sexually and 2. that wrestling turned him on during a playfully drunk bout with the RED Demo. (God, that was humiliating. At least Demo didn't notice.)

Jane secretly wants to be seduced. He's insecure that people think he's too stupid to be attractive. He wants someone to take him seriously while also being sly with him.

[velvet4510]

Wolverine, Cyclops, and Learning to Respect Your Rival in Love

I have thoughts on Logan and Scott’s relationship in the Fox films. (I’ve never read the comics; this is strictly a commentary on the movie-verse.)

I always say ship and let ship. If you wanna look at these two through shipper’s goggles, fine. I won’t stop you.

But when I look at these two, I don’t really see something shippy. I see something actually quite remarkable, something that is very rarely depicted between rivals in an onscreen love triangle, and something that speaks to Logan’s incredible character development.

We are used to love triangles where the rivals despise each other to the point of competing, name-calling, fistfighting, and even duels to the death. Two people who have the same love interest are stereotyped time and again in fiction as bitter enemies who don’t care about the other’s wellbeing at all.

But Logan and Scott are different. Logan’s feelings toward Scott have a total 180 arc throughout the series, and it’s a phenomenal piece of character growth to witness.

X1 and X2

It’s no secret that they start off very jealous of each other and there is a mutual dislike as a result. They both want Jean. Logan is upset that Scott already has Jean, and Scott is upset that Logan is trying to steal her away. And let’s be honest, Logan is pretty disrespectful to both Jean and Scott’s feelings in the first two films. He shows no shame in flirting with Scott’s girlfriend in front of him and trying to get her to cheat on Scott when Scott has been kidnapped. When Jean insists she loves Scott, Logan just asks “do you?” as though she doesn’t mean it, and then kisses her despite her saying no. His desperation for love and attention makes him disregard and try to ruin Jean and Scott’s committed relationship. It’s not good behavior, and it’s probably Logan’s greatest character flaw in X1 and X2. Scott has every right to hate Logan for this.

But then something changes.

Then Jean disappears and is presumed dead.

Suddenly Logan and Scott have something in common. Suddenly they both are thrown into unimaginable grief and agony. Suddenly they are sharing something.

And then Logan comes clean with Scott. “She did make a choice. She chose you.” Finally, he understands Scott and says something respectful to him.

The Last Stand

And then a few years later, Jean reappears, not herself, and it is Scott who vanishes. Suddenly Jean is not only alive, but kissing Logan just as he has always desired. He becomes lost in the passion for a moment, because omg this is it, she changed her mind, she wants me, miracles do happen … The Logan of X1 and X2 would’ve gone all the way with Jean/Phoenix with zero hesitation.

But then Logan does something incredibly admirable and mature.

He stops.

He lets himself think, and he realizes: This isn’t Jean. The Jean he knew committed herself to Scott. The Jean he knew loved Scott, not him. This is wrong. She’s suddenly making a move on him, with no mention of Scott? This can’t be right.

So he asks what happened to Scott.

Scott, a man who Logan once dreamed of getting out of his way, is now a man whose life actually matters to Logan.

Then the rest of The Last Stand happens, and everything falls apart.

Days of Future Past

And then comes the greatest test that Logan has ever faced when it comes to this messy love triangle.

He travels back in time to change history. Back to a time before Jean and Scott ever met, before he ever met them. He finds himself sitting before a young Charles, the man who introduced Jean and Scott in the first place, wbo introduced him to his beloved Jean and to Scott in the first place. A young Charles who has read his mind and seen his memories of his love for Jean.

And here, right in front of him, is an opportunity to get what he would’ve done anything to get in X1 and X2. A chance to perhaps prevent Charles from ever introducing Jean and Scott, so he can be with Jean in the new future. To not tell Charles about Scott, to only tell him the names of Jean and his other friends like Storm to ensure they are still with the X-Men in the future.

But instead? He says this:

“Promise me you’ll find us. Storm. Scott. Jean. Remember those names.”

He mentions Scott! He mentions the man who he once envied, who held Jean’s heart and held onto it even as Logan gave his own heart to her. A man whose life and future he has now learned to appreciate and grow protective of.

He lets go of his jealousy, of his resentment, of his own desires. He honors Jean and Scott’s feelings, not his own.

He makes sure that Jean and Scott will still meet in the new timeline, that Charles will still bring them together, that their love will still grow this time around.

Then he goes back to the future and finds that it worked beyond his expectations. The Last Stand never happened. Jean and Scott are alive, well, and together.

In the end, Logan finally understands that Jean and Scott truly belong to each other, and that he was wrong to get in the middle, and so he sets off the domino effect that ultimately creates true happiness for Jean and Scott.

Logan changes from prioritizing his own feelings to prioritizing Jean and Scott’s feelings. He goes from trying to break up Jean and Scott, to personally ensuring that Jean and Scott still find each other even when history itself has changed.

Rather than destroy his rival in love, Logan instead ensures his rival’s salvation.

If that isn’t character development, I don’t know what is.

[cocogrrrl]

off-week

part two to bandages: mysterion crashes in your apartment again, and some things start to be revealed.

mysterion!kenny x gn!reader cws: cuts and bruises wc: 1943

It’s been a week since your encounter with Mysterion.

You hadn’t really thought much about what happened, mostly because you couldn’t. You had friends that lived in South Park their whole lives, like Wendy and Kyle, but you were sure they would ask why you wanted to know who Kenny McCormick was if they knew him. What excuse do you have if that situation arose?

Still, despite that, you were a hopeless dreamer who put all their faith in his revisit once more. You weren’t sure why you were quite drawn to a man whose literal broken rib you helped restore, but the bottom line is that you might like him. He was the only thing you’ve been thinking of all week as well. Mysterion, Mysterion, Mysterion.

You didn’t want to be selfish or mean, but you hoped he got hurt again so he could come running back to your place for your nursing aid. 

It was almost as if your prayers were answered.

You were busy that night, finishing up some extra work given to you by your boss. You were completely immersed in your work that you were drowning yourself in it. You hadn’t showered, eaten, or even taken off your shoes—you headed straight to whatever you needed to do.

This was for the sole reason of reducing the number of things you needed to do, even if you were well aware that these types of things are never fully eliminated. They’re always something that is piled up on, at least in your experience.

A loud thump out your window pulled you from your work, though. Initially, you thought it was some stray cat, so you quickly fixed your attention back to where it was. Then, you heard some shuffling after that. You were confused by the noise. Now wasn’t a good time to be robbed.

As you made your way to where your fire exit was, the thought hit you like a brick—it was Mysterion, wasn’t it? To your delight, it was.

You opened the window, and you were greeted with a disheveled-looking Mysterion. His state wasn’t as bad as when you first saw him, but he still look like he just fought in the rain and got his ass totally beat again. You noted that some scratches littered across his upper half, biting through his clothes as his skin bleeding from sharp claw marks.

“Hello, YN.” There was that gruff voice you missed all throughout the week. His eyes were diverted away from you. You could tell he was embarrassed by the defeated look on his face.

“Bienvenida, Mysterion.” You nodded, opening the window wider for him to hop in. “Your off-day’s now an off-week?”

“Very funny,” he rolled his eyes giving you a dead stare after. “Unfortunately, you’re correct. I got my ass beat by the Coon again today.”

“Do you need me to clean you up?” You asked loudly, already heading into your bathroom to grab your med kit.

You heard a faint, “Yes. Thank you.” as you searched through your drawers. You found the kit and headed back to your living room, being greeted by Mysterion shirtless and sprawled over your couch. He supported his upper half up, but his legs were stretched out. He looked worse than you thought. He had cuts and bruises all over him.

“Jeez, what did he do to you?” You winced at the sight, setting your things on your coffee table as you settled by the foot of your couch to grab the things you needed.

“The fucker had brass knuckles and metal claws on. You think I’m gonna win a fight with a guy who has a great upper hand?” You delved into your kitchen for a split moment to grab an ice pack, throwing it to him—which he had caught with finesse.

“No, but that means you got to one-up him! Bring a gun, then shoot him in the stomach or something.” You said, dipping a towel in a soap-and-water solution and then wringing it out.

“Nah. I don’t wanna bring a gun to a fistfight. I’m not gonna stoop to his level.” He said, seemingly deep in thought. 

You motioned that you were going to sit on top of him, but he probably didn’t catch it. “May I?” You hummed, using your head to point over to his lap.

“Huh? Oh- uh, yeah. Totally.” He mumbled, clearing up his throat.

You situated yourself on top of his lap, embarrassment clear from the red blush on your cheeks. You pushed it aside, though, grabbing his arm as you cleaned his wound. “Ah, this is gonna hurt.” You warned, gently dabbing the cloth on his arm.

He knew what was about to happen, yet his teeth dug into each other you leaned his arms and chest. His eyes were tight shut, and his nails clung onto the ice pack he held against his body. Yikes, the cuts seemed to be a little deep.

After you cleaned his wounds, you set the towel aside, one hand cupping his cheek as the other massaged his shoulder. “You’re okay now.” You cooed.

“Thank you…” he grumbled, eyes opening once more, but turned away from you. You could see red forming on his cheeks.

“I’d stitch some of your cuts up, but my stomach’s a tad bit too weak to do that. Instead, I’m just gonna put some petroleum jelly then patch you up, okay?” He nodded in reply.

You reached over to grab a tube of petrolatum, squeezing a little onto your finger and then putting it on the cut. Repeat the process. “Seems like you’ve already made yourself at home, even if it’s just your second time here.” You said mindlessly, just wanting to make conversation with him.

“I guess so. I mean, you’ve seen me half-naked before, and I’ve already slept here—in your clothes, mind you.” 

“You think I’ve forgotten?” You chuckled, mostly for yourself.

“I’d hope not.”

“Oh, pretty boy, I promise you,” you paused briefly, eyes flickering to his. “I would never forget about you.”

“Uhuh?” His voice buzzed, a smug smirk on his face as he leaned closer to you.

“Yeah,” you whispered back, giving him a short peck on the lips before you pushed him back to focus on fixing him up like nothing happened.

From the corner of your eye, you could see him dart his eyes at you. Not in a bad way, not at all. You noticed a pink in his cheeks under his mask. Cute. “You look like you wanted more.” You giggled.

“Well-” He pouted, voice losing its deepness and raspiness for a split second. You whip your head back to him to give him a funny look. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

“Ha! I knew that wasn’t your actual voice.”

“Duh,” he said, his voice the higher-pitched one you heard just now. “You think I go to my regular day-to-day sounding like this?” He laughed.

“I just assumed.” You shrugged.

The two of you stayed like that, you on his lap as you tended to his wounds. A looming air of want was clouding over you two. You were sure he could feel it as much as you. He was the first one to cut the air.

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, but I think I have some bruises on my face.” He awkwardly said, hesitantly pulling down his mask and hood

You paused there for a second, entranced by what he actually looked like. It’s true, the bruises got his face as well, but you imagine him without it. He was awfully gorgeous both ways. His hair was a little long, split ends littering everywhere. He had the faintest freckles on his face. You only noticed it now, but he had a gap in his teeth, which you found adorable.

“Hellooo? YN?” He asked, waving his hand in your face.

“Oh, uh—” You shook your head, setting yourself out of your trance. “—Yeah, yeah. You do have a few bruises. Just put the ice pack over it.”

“It’s warm, though.” He pouted.

“Oh, let me change it then,” you said, grabbing the ice pack as you were about to get off of him. You didn’t, though, he pulled you down to him. You turned to look at him, giving him a confused look.

“I, uh, should get it.” He awkwardly muttered, getting up. “You’ve done a lot, and I don’t wanna tire you.”

You clicked your tongue, finding yourself giggling at him. “Mysterion—”

“Kenny.” He cut you off.

“Why Kenny?”

“It feels weird to be called Mysterion if I don’t have the mask on.”

“Oh, well, Kenny,” you corrected yourself. “It’s just an ice pack, a walk to the kitchen. It’s not a hassle.”

“Please, let me do it.”

“No,” You hummed, getting up. “You’re the one who’s injured, so it’s my duty to help you.”

“You’ve been helping out this whole time! It’s the least I can do.” He pouted.

“Fine, you go do that.” You rolled your eyes light-heartedly, getting up to head to your bedroom, though. “Do you need to change?”

“I, uh,” he said, taking a brief moment to think. “Yeah, thanks.” He gave you a toothy grin.

Immediately, you felt your heart skips a few beats at the sight, quickly heading into your room so that he wouldn’t see your red, red cheeks. You got clothes that were in a familiar fashion to what you got the last time he was here: a big shirt and some basketball shorts.

When you exited the room, you spotted Kenny sitting down on your couch as he was holding up a new ice pack against his face. You handed him your clothes.

“Hey, YN?” You hummed in reply. “Was I interrupting you or anything when I got here?”

Your mind flicked back to the work you had to get to. Well, you weren’t upset that you were disrupted. “Yeah, but I don’t mind. I mean, I’m happy to help you out anytime, Kenny.”

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna get in the way of anything important.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” You gave him a reassuring smile, patting his shoulders. After that, you headed to the dining area where your work sat. As Kenny changed, you quickly tidied your things up.

“Are you staying the night?” You asked as you headed back to the living room, deep down hoping he would.

“No, sadly. I think I have to head out now. I have to go do something.” He said, seemingly knowing you’d be disappointed at your answer.

“What? Poison the Coon in his sleep?” You joked.

“Great idea, but no.” He laughed, making his way to your window.

“Don’t forget your shirt!” You folded it up and placed it in a paper bag you had lying around. “When, uh, will I see you again? So you can return my clothes?” You half-joked, not forgetting the extra pair he still had with him.

“Hmm,” he paused, feigning a deep thought. “How does this Wednesday, 5 PM sound?”

“Why so specific?” You raised a brow, not quite getting where he’s at.

“Because I’m asking you out on a date, silly.” He chuckled at you, grabbing the paper bag with his clothes in it.

“Oh! Yeah, totally.” You beamed. Although you would probably be busy that night, you were busy all the time anyway. You were willing to sacrifice a shit ton of paperwork just for a night out with him.

“See you then. I’ll meet you right here, cutie.” He said, giving you a kiss on the cheek before he exited through your fire escape.

[atopvisenyashill]

Ive seen lot of discourse about it esp pre season 2 so i wanna know your thoughts on the Driftmark scene .

💀💀

i think the most too blame people are the adults. in fact i don’t really blame the children at all. i think it’s stupid to get up in arms about luke using a knife on aemond when like, in the book, it’s not even treated as weird that this five year old is walking around with a dagger. i think the fact that luke only uses the dagger once jacaerys starts losing the fight against aemond shows that luke has a child’s understanding of violence; he goes for the eye to stop the fight, and doesn’t grasp that maiming aemond is a very serious thing that he can’t undo. i think both aemond and jacaerys think the best thing, The Dutiful Thing is to deal with this situation themselves, because they’re Almost A Man Grown, and they’re too angry (and too childish bc they’re literal children) to realize that the mature thing to do is to LEAVE THE SITUATION and GO GET A GROWNUP and of course, it escalates to a horrific degree (they’re both doing this for different reasons, but it amounts to the same sort of “the right thing to do is to be a man and handle this silly fight myself” line of thinking). we can have a lot of conversations about people’s tempers and who started the fight, and what the addition of a rock or the girlsdoes to the dynamic but i just feel that ultimately, this fight went on for too long bc they were not being supervised correctly. i have a really hard time blaming a five year old who was given a dagger for using that dagger nor do i think it’s on aemond to anticipate that the toddler he picked a fight with would bring both a wooden sword AND a dagger to a fistfight. also i’m sorry but it is darkly funny that a twelve year old got jumped by two toddlers, sue me. the blame doesn’t lie with them, i don’t think any of the three of them realized it would escalate so quickly, and then everyone around them acted INSANE afterwards.

now when we get into the fallout of it. first of all, i think people are purposefully obtuse about why rhaenyra goes on the offensive. i cannot stress enough that part of the issue here is that she’s committing treason which is punishable by death. does she help the situation at all? no. but “she’s mad they said the truth” is like saying cersei is only mad at ned bc he said the truth; they’re mad bc someone knowing the truth means they could die. i think both rhaenyra & alicent start acting crazy bc now this issue between them has spilled out between their kids in like a REAL in your face way and they’re both looking for viserys to like, DO SOMETHING do anything, and when they feel like he’s not doing enough they decide “fuck it time to show him EYE can cross the line if i have to” and viserys responds by making it worse 😭

secondly, laying out how viserys just completely fucks this. he’s the one who makes this disastrous decision to make it illegal to talk about his grandsons, confines his heir away from court, and then refuses to acknowledge that like, it was pretty fucked up thing that just happened to his son, so everyone walks away with some sort of righteous fury over the event and once again digs in their heels to make the dumb, violent decisions that help escalate this entire thing into war. and it’s not even that viserys is trying to do the right thing and just failing, like say, egg & the issues he has with succession, viserys is trying to do the easiest thing, the thing that gets everyone to stop yelling at him & do what he says. bro they are taking eyes out and threatening to torture each other. this is so far beyond something that can be fixed with a kiss on the cheek. these are two opposing sides CONVINCED the other is going to kill them, it’s not like him & rhaenys or him & daemon. but he just says “it’s fixed it’s fine” and goes home. why are dads like this.

[sunflowerkiwis]

Drama Queen

You tend to Harry’s wounds after a small fight

word count: 628, she’s short and sweet

tw: mentions of fighting, needles (sewing), a couple swear words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ow.”

“Calm down, you big baby.”

Harry flinched again and hissed at the stinging alcohol against his knuckle. “‘M not a baby,” he muttered under his breath.

“Sure,” you rolled your eyes, but with the thickness in your voice, it sounded more like ‘shore’. You were… disappointed, to say the least. “You wouldn’t be flinching and hissing if you weren’t such an idiot.”

Harry stilled.

Your words came out harsher than you intended them to. You didn’t mean to hurt him, but then again, all words came from somewhere and you both knew that.

Looking up, you could see his hurting eyes, reflecting yours. “I’m sorry,” you placed a hand on his cheek. Your hand was cold due to the alcohol in the cool bathroom air. “I’m just… I don’t know—I’m confused, H. You’re not violent, you think things through. I guess I’m disappointed,” you looked down at his cut knuckles and nudged at his hand, “Where’d this come from?”

This—the rash decisions, the impulsive pull of his arm, the harsh contact of his fist with probably another man’s face. It wasn’t like him.

“‘Dunno.” Harry looked down at his feet, hanging from the counter, like a scolded puppy. His voice lowered, “He was talking about you.” He, some guy you’d barely met from Harry’s management.

You tilted your head. Talking about you?

“He—fuck,” he winced as you padded his knuckles with alcohol again, “he was talking shit about you and saying stuff… bad stuff.”

“What’s ‘bad stuff’, Lovie?” You didn’t have to look up to see the hesitancy in his face.

“Don’t wanna hurt your feelings…”

You smirked. “Well it ain’t gonna hurt me more than him,” you let out a light chuckle.

The corner of Harry’s mouth turned up, not at the joke, but at the sound of your laugh. Although, it went away as soon as he realized there wasn’t a way to avoid this—not with your persistence and determination.

“He… he said you don’t deserve me and you’re—” his gaze moved from your face to his lap. From the corner of your eye, you could tell he was hurt too. “—that you’re ‘just some dirty chick who’s looking for money’.”

You threw away the alcohol pad and reached for a medical kit your mom had given you under the sink. Harry took a deep breath, bracing himself, remembering he still had a bad cut in his cheekbone that needed tending to. Your mom was a nurse and she’d given you this in case of emergencies, when you were younger she’d taught you lots of medical things like how to properly clean wounds and how to throw some stitches one, too. It was time to put those skills to use. You were always thankful for her and everything she taught and did for you. You always knew you’d need it someday, you just never thought you’d use these skills to help Harry recover from a literal fistfight.

“Jackass,” you said under your breath, standing up.

“Yeah,” Harry observed as you got everything ready. “I don’t know how it happened, it went by really fast. Just felt my fist hurting when it hit his face and then he hit me back. It’s all kind of a blur but then I kicked him out and came upstairs to you.”

You’d heard some loud, muffled words from downstairs, but you couldn’t tell if it was them shouting or a show they were watching, as you were watching one of your own in the bedroom and keeping to yourself.

He flinched when you brought the needle close to his face and your raised your eyebrows in a scowl at him. “H, I haven’t done anything—and you’re numbed.”

He gave you a sheepish look. “I thought it’d hurt.”

“Drama Queen.”

[rdbrainz]

Hi there! If you're still accepting Bleach requests, may I see your headcannons based on the Bleach Jet art of the Espadas and Quincies in delinquent school uniforms (specifically Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Bazz-B)? That official art just gave me major brain worms, and I really like your art and headcannons >.< Also, do you happen to have a Ko-fi/patreon to send donations to?

ACTUALLY funny enough I've been thinking about this art a lot myself lmao so I do have some headcanons! as for my ko-fi or patreon.. like I said before transferring money out of them is impossible where I am right now but I made a boosty acc (I'll link it in my bio)

First I wanna add that I just can't see Stark as a high schooler x). He has the vibe of a teacher who somehow ended up with the worst classes in school despite his formidable reputation. Though maybe he was a delinquent himself in the past so he knows how to deal with these little shits. He also has a soft spot for them so as strict as this man can be he cuts them a lot of slack. Like for example I'm sure Nnoitra would smoke in this AU so I think the first day Stark started working with them they met on the rooftop on the lunch break while Gilga was smoking and instead of scolding him Stark just asked for a cig. Nnoitra almost shit himself. I'm also sure he would ask his class to look after his daughter Lilynette so she won't get into any trouble with that attitude of hers. She's probably in middle school or a couple of years younger than them so yeah... the lil sis of the group...

Despite the differences and constant bickering Nnoitra and Grimmjow are basically attached at the hip. I can see them being childhood frenemies actually. Ulquiorra and Szayel are also somewhere in their orbit of course but these two are the worst duo to stumble upon. Very notorious

Ulquiorra is obviously the class president given the armband. He tries his best to mediate the conflicts between his classmates or make them behave better but it's all in vain. Mostly. Some days he's just not in the mood to be responsible and reasonable when dealing with all the bullshit. When trying to bring delinquents to reason you have to be either very respected among them or more fierce than them and Ulquiorra certainly lacks the authority because of his character and swaglessness. He's very scary when mad however. Everybody knows this by now but they just keep trying their fate. Like I'm telling you once he unbuttons his gakuran it's so fucking over

Unlike Grimmjow Nnoitra is actually bothered with his grades enough to try and work for them and/or study (not all the time of course what do you think he's a loser or something?) It includes scaring people into doing his homework, snatching papers out of Ulquiorra's hands right before the class starts (he's used to it so he carries around two sets of hw) or if he REALLY needs to pass an exam he goes to Szayel, the class smartass. The latter is literally equivalent to dying and going through hell to him because he has to abandon all his pride. If you have a shit ton of money you always can try and ask Szayel to help you. Sure. A little bit of humiliation and you actually know the subject. However when it comes to Nnoitra the freak won't let him breathe because: 1) he doesn't need his money, Nnoitra has plenty and it's already stolen anyway so what's the fun? 2) asking a fellow delinquent you have a beef with for help has different means of payment 3) he just really wants to fuck with this guy's head since he thinks Nnoitra is a curious fella. Gilga is well aware of all of this and he's well aware that Szayel will make him polish his boots with his tongue before even considering helping him with acquiring the forbidden chemistry knowledge. So he has to really work for it whether it's a fistfight or running errands for Szayelaporro. It's a good thing Grantz stays true to his word

Grimmjow has a well-accessorized uniform thanks to Nnoitra but his casual clothing is hilariously uncool. I'm convinced this guy has zero taste both in clothing and prints/patterns because he couldn't care less about what other people think is considered fashionable when all he needs personally is functionality and comfort. He knows how to rock a good hairstyle though but if he wants to wear flip-flops outside then so be it

Nnoitra spends all the money he gets on new accessories and CDs (and maybe sometimes porno magazines) for which he constantly gets picked on. If it's someone not from his immediate friend circle then it's not even worth thinking about - left, right, goodnight. As if he's gonna let anyone get too fucking cheeky with him. He's infamous for being called slurs and then bashing the person's head in for this every week because he wears heels and had to endure children being mean to him because of his eye in kindergarten and primary school so it's no big deal really. But if it's Grimmjow then it's a fucking word battle to death he just can't let it slide. Jaegerjaquez really thinks Nnoitra is gonna get strangled by one of his necklaces one of those days but whatever. It's up to him. His music taste however... Now that's something they quarrel about all the time. "I mean I'm not saying anything! Sure you can buy new TOOL CDs all you want.. cough cough... fucking loser.. cough"

Bazz-B was hell-bent on making friends with Grimmjow because he genuinely thinks this guy is awesome. Look at his laid-back attitude and vicious ways! His blue hair, his style! Ohhh, to be like him!!! Jaegerjaquez on the other hand was not very impressed with how annoying Bazz could get with his neverending attempts of talking to him. Too energetic and loud for his liking. He already has Nnoitra and his big fat mouth he constantly runs all he wants so another talkative guy next to him would be too much for his everyday life. He would literally tell him to fuck off and threaten him with a beating of his life but unfortunately it got Bazz even more fired up. Damn weirdo. And a major pain in the ass. They did find a common ground in the end though and it's... A motorcycle that Bazz owns. Bazzard suggested they could take a ride together as a last resort and it was all it took to buy Grimm. Imagine the most excited person you've ever met and they still won't be as excited as Grimmjow was at that moment. Instant fucking boner! "Dibs on driving though" "Deal!" Grimmjow was surprised to reveal that Bazz-B is actually fun to be around and not as annoying as he initially thought he was. Nnoitra made a joke about them having a date the next day though

I think here Bazz-B suffers the same fate as Sakuragi Hanamichi in the beginning of Slam Dunk which is constantly trying to get girls on a date but being brutally rejected each time lmao 😭It's not like he is a bad-looking guy no it's actually the opposite but his personality and hot-headedness are too much to bear for girls he's going after

Askin is a great negotiator and he knows his way around with words but other than that he sucks. He's not a bad guy, just chronically fucking uncool and has to hide behind other people's backs because of mediocre fighting abilities. He also gets in all kinds of stupid situations because he just can't keep his thoughts to himself sometimes which is a bad asset to his cheesiness

Äs Nödt is also not very good at fighting but he's more useful than Askin lol. A smartass and a menace who is talented at collecting data and black-mail on people by eavesdropping and other means. He's the one who proposes the most out-of-pocket ways of taking revenge on other gangs or teaching someone a lesson so you better be careful with him

I hope I'll make more art of this later cuz I'm a bit burnt out rn

[ye-olde-sodor]

Forget any idea you had for Thomas stories, I wanna see the engines and the narrator interacting with each other for some sort of April fools themed episode. All the dialogue between them is snarky and sassy just like in season one…but it’s cranked up to 11. Or maybe even have the engines are self-aware that they’re in a tv show???

Just...imagine for a moment what that would be like.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: “This Is Thomas! He’s a cheeky little engine who has a short stumpy funnel, a short stumpy dome, and a short stumpy-“

Thomas: “WE GET IT. I’M SMALL. By my maker Is that really the only thing you can describe me as?!”

Narrator: “No, actually! I forgot to mention he has a temper of one of those small rat dogs that women keep in their purses and treat them like children! Why one could argue that he has the temper of a rooster!”

Thomas: “THATS IT-”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Percy: "Hey Thomas, I'm supposed to go to the works at 5, could you cover for my mail train?"

Narrator: "This made Thomas very cross, he told Percy that he should do his own work and-"

Thomas: "Oh of course! Is it just the regular route?"

Narrator: "Wait no, that's not what you're supposed to-"

Percy: "Yep! My driver can come with you if you'd like!"

Thomas: "If he wouldn't mind coming along with us. I'd hate to make your train late."

Narrator: "Stop that-"

Percy: "Thanks Thomas, I really appreciate it. I'll leave the train near the sheds when I have to leave."

Thomas, very smuggly: Oh it's nothing, really! Anything for my best friend!"

Narrator: "STOP!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: “And then there was trouble!”

Edward, rapidly descending down Gordon’s hill and becoming a runaway: “Oh of course there’s trouble! Why wouldn’t there be trouble WHEN ISNT THERE TROUBLE-“

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Percy, late at night: “Where do you think that voice in the sky goes when we all go to sleep? Does he have a home to go to?”

Edward: "Hmm...I'm not sure. Maybe he goes to a shed just like us!"

James: “Oh please, If he spends all of his free time with us, I doubt he even has a bed let alone a shed!"

Narrator: “I’m still here, you know!”

*cue ungodly screeching*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry, after having yet another derailment this week: “Do we really need to have an accident every episode??? Is it really that vital to this forsaken franchise to have some large an monumental crash every day???”

Gordon, using his winch to help Henry: “No, but it would be rather dull if Thomas didn’t fling himself headfirst into a fistfight every two minutes, wouldn’t you agree dear?”

Henry: “…Fine, your right…but it wouldn’t hurt to pick on someone else every now and again would it?!

*a hearty laughter from Gordon ensues*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Duck: "Does anyone ever think about what that voice in the sky is? Like...Is it a man? Is it an engine? A God?"

Thomas: "I...never actually thought about that."

Gordon: "I just assumed he was a result of being on this accursed island for so long. I'm surprised that we can hear him but the humans can't...it's quite concerning if you ask me!"

Percy: "Maybe he is a God! An Engine God!"

Gordon: "Oh now look what you've started!"

Edward: "Hold on now, I think he's onto something!"

Thomas: "W-what do we do with this? What can we do with this?"

Edward: "Well, we can tell it to others! Like how the priests do for churches!"

Percy: "What about those cerci-moneys? I heard that humans do those for their Gods!"

Duck: "Maybe we should name him first! It's only proper!"

Gordon: "STOP ENCOURAGING HIM!"

Narrator: *holding in his laughter*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[neewtmas]

A Bouquet Of Tulips

A/N: This was fun to write! I used this request as an opportunity to write a reader that is not working for Lockwood & Co because it's rare that that is fitting, but I thought here it did and it's a nice change. This is also written from Lockwood's POV.

@ the anon who requested, I'm not sure if this was what you're looking for, but I hope you like it :) everyone enjoy &lt;3

pairing: anthony lockwood x fem!reader

wordcount: 2.2k

request: Hey, I'd like to request a lockwood x reader where they're going on their first date together and there's just loads of fluff - by anon

taglist: @maraschinomerry @marinalor @oblivious-idiot @lockwood-lover @givemea-dam-break (if you wanna be added or removed, just send an ask :))

masterlist

“One of you is going, I don’t care if you want to or not”, George said and Lucy immediately jumped up from her seat at the table, chair scraping over the floor. “I need to do - uhm… laundry. Looks like it’s your turn, Lockwood!” She didn’t wait for his response, but instead rushed over to the staircase that led to the basement. "Have fun you two", she said sweetly and gave them a wave before swiftly descending the stairs.

Lockwood ran his fingers through his hair, groaning. "Last time she did the laundry she dyed all my shirts pink because she threw in some red socks! She shouldn't even be allowed near the washing machine. Why can't she go with you?"

George shrugged, entirely unfazed by Lockwood's desperation. "Get in a fistfight over who's going for all I care. But not now, we're leaving in ten minutes."

Begrudgingly, Lockwood followed George out the door a few minutes later. Their walk to the archives was quiet, mostly because Lockwood was still sulking over the fact that Lucy got to stay back with the excuse of doing laundry - which she was not going to do, he was sure of it.

The sky was a monotonous grey, and together with the chilly breeze that whirled dried-up leaves over the concrete sidewalk, it did nothing to raise Lockwood's mood.

They entered the building together, and immediately the hushed atmosphere weighed on Lockwood like a heavy blanket around his shoulders. Contrary to George, who was in his element here, Lockwood was glad about every minute he did not have to spend in the library.

He noticed a little stain on the sleeve of his coat and tried to scratch it off while following George as he walked through the foyer, not paying any attention to his surroundings. A voice called George's name and Lockwood looked up to see him waving to someone. As he followed George's gaze he spotted a girl sitting behind the front desk, waving as well. As her eyes met his, her smile widened briefly before she returned her focus to the computer screen beside her.

Lockwood stood for a moment, staring at her as she scrunched her eyebrows in focus, leaning closer to the screen when he heard George call his name. He was already at the foot of the stairs, motioning him towards him impatiently and Lockwood hurried through the foyer after throwing one last glance in the girls' direction.

The rest of the afternoon George sent him back and forth through the long aisles between the bookshelves with a piece of paper on which he had scribbled different book titles and instructions on how to find them. Sometimes, those instructions would lead him past the area from where a glance down into the foyer was possible, and every time he walked past, he would try and catch a glimpse of the girl sitting at the desk below.

After George decided they had gathered sufficient information, they packed up, Lockwood now in a much better mood than a few hours ago. He almost skipped down the stairs towards the foyer, but his mood immediately got a damper when they walked past the front desk and instead of the girl, the seat was now occupied by an elderly man. He had grey hair and wore gigantic glasses, and just like the girl, he greeted George by name and with a kind smile.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"You seem to know the people at the front desk pretty well", Lockwood said as they walked down the sidewalk a few minutes later. George shrugged. "I mean, I come here often. You're bound to get talking at one point. The guy in there just now is really into discussing The Problem's history, we've been talking a lot."

"Sounds great. And the girl?", Lockwood asked, not interested in George's conversation about ghosts with a man who probably wasn't that far from turning into a ghost himself.

"Oh, that's (name). She's nice. Sometimes, when she's on her lunch break, she helps me with research for our cases."

"Oh." Lockwood grimaced. He didn't expect George to be that close to her. "You never told us about her."

George raised his eyebrows. "What is there to tell?"

"I don't know? Maybe that you got a secret girlfriend at the archives that helps you with your research?" The words came out much sharper than he intended, and George immediately stopped walking. "What?"

"I said what I said." Lockwood turned around, crossing his arms defensively. He knew he was acting ridiculous, but for whatever reason the thought of George and (name) leaning over some dusty old book together made him furious.

"What is your problem, Lockwood?", George asked, raising his hands defensively.

Lockwood just turned around wordlessly and continued down the street, not looking to see if George was following him.

Just a few seconds later George was next to him again, slowing down his run to match Lockwood’s speed.

“I might remember her telling me she’s single. You could ask her out”, he said innocently, looking straight ahead and trying to suppress his smirk when Lockwood whipped his head to look at him. “What?”

“I said what I said.”

Lockwood huffed and sped up, hands buried in the pockets of his coat.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Lockwood was quieter than usual during dinner, not really paying attention to the conversation between Lucy and George and instead absentmindedly ripping up his piece of bread.

"Oh, and you know (name), right?" George said in between spoonfuls of soup.

"Yeah, what's with her? She had a shift today, didn't she?", Lucy replied.

Lockwood looked up immediately. "You know her too?"

Lucy chuckled. "Of course. She sometimes helps us with research on cases."

Lockwood looked back and forth between the two of them, and George had to bite back a laugh at his expression.

"Lockwood's got a crush", he said under his breath, and Lucy turned to Lockwood, wide-eyed. "On (name)?"

"No!"

"Oh please, if I hadn't called you you'd still be standing in the foyer, staring at her. And don't think I missed your disappointment when it was Stanley behind the desk instead of her when we left."

"What? No, I -" Lockwood sputtered and now Lucy was chuckling as well.

"Maybe you should ask her out. But better hurry, or else I might do it first."

"You?!"

Lucy didn't answer immediately and instead examined her nails that she had painted blue that afternoon before shrugging. "Why not? She's really cute. I'm sure you agree."

"You're the worst", Lockwood grumbled as George couldn't hold his laughter in any longer.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

The next few days George and Lucy were teasing Lockwood incessantly, and while it was annoying, he couldn't deny that he might actually have a crush on (name). Which was ridiculous, because he never even talked to the girl. For all he knew, she could be the worst person to ever walk this planet. Then again, George and Lucy only had nice things to say about her, so that was unlikely. And the way she had smiled at him…

It didn't take long for him to decide that he had to do something about it. But it had to happen without his two friends knowing because he didn't need them to make fun of him if she rejected him. Which was likely, since she probably was into well-read guys, someone more like George.

The next day, after an early lunch and confirming that neither George nor Lucy would be at the archives today, he put on his coat and left the house as quietly as possible. On the way to the archives, he passed a small flower shop that he never really noticed before, and he had already almost walked past it when he reconsidered and turned around.

The sweet smell of freshly cut flowers was overwhelming as he pushed open the door, a little bell chiming above him. The shop was even smaller than it looked from the outside, and it was packed with all sorts of flowers and plants. No one was behind the counter, but then he heard rustling and footsteps and from behind a curtain, a woman emerged. Her face lit up with a smile as she saw him.

"How can I help you, dear?", she asked.

"I'm going on a date", Lockwood began but quickly corrected himself. "Or rather, I'd like to go on a date. I thought I could bring her some flowers."

The woman clapped her hands together. "How lovely! More men should think like you." She walked around the counter over to a large and colourful display of all different kinds of flowers. "You know, my husband brought me flowers on our first date as well. What flowers does your girl like?"

"Uhm… I don't know." Lockwood felt like a fool. Should he have prepared better? Maybe he should have talked to her first. Maybe it was a little weird to come onto her like that without ever saying a single word to her.

The woman didn't seem to mind and after a moment, she pulled out a bouquet of tulips in all different colours.

"How about these? Chances are her favourite colour is somewhere in there."

Lockwood didn't have anything to say against that, so a few minutes later he left the shop with the tulips in hand.

The remaining few minutes to his destination he felt uneasy. He wasn't so sure anymore if this was a good idea. But there was no going back now. Before entering, he checked his hair in the reflection of the glass door and made sure his coat was neat before gripping the flowers tightly and stepping inside.

Y/N sat behind the desk, typing away at her computer. His heart skipped a beat as he saw her, and only then did he realise that he hadn't known if she would even be here today. Maybe that meant it was his lucky day. He took a deep breath and straightened up.

He walked up to the desk and suddenly forgot what he wanted to say. She looked up from the screen, a polite smile on her face. "Hello, how can I - Oh, hey!" Her expression changed into one of genuine joy, and Lockwood thought he might faint.

"Hey", he choked out, cursing himself. He always knew what to say, how to charm himself in and out of every possible situation. How was it that the one time he needed his brain to work, it didn't?

"I'm Lockwood."

Her smile widened. "I know. George told me you might come by."

He felt the tips of his ears get hot. God damn it, George.

"What brings you here?", she asked, and without thinking, Lockwood pulled out the flowers from behind him and held them out to her.

"These are for you."

She gasped, and her hand flew to cover her mouth. "For me?" She reached out to take them from him, her fingers brushing over his. She buried her nose in the bouquet, taking in the scent with closed eyes. Lockwood did not take his eyes off her.

"These are so pretty", she finally said, a cute pink blush on her cheeks. "Thank you so much, no one has ever given me flowers", she added timidly.

Lockwood had the urge to tell her how this was a disgrace and how he would give her flowers every day if she wanted, but he held himself back.

She tucked a stray curl of hair behind her ear and Lockwood watched her, wishing it was him doing that. "I'm about to take my lunch break in the park", she said. "Do you maybe wanna join me?"

"Yes", he said immediately.

He waited a few minutes for her to finish her work before they left the building together, and walked to the park.

The conversation was flowing easily, and Lockwood's nervousness dissipated soon. Talking to (name) felt natural and like they had known each other for ages. Every time she laughed at one of his jokes, he couldn't help but smile as well, his heart doing somersaults in his chest.

They sat down in the park beneath the shade of a tree, leaned against its trunk, and (namr) pulled out a box from her bag. "I packed strawberries this morning. We can share?"

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, eating strawberries.

"I saw you a few times with George", (name) suddenly said. "I wanted to talk to you but you always seemed to rather be anywhere else." She smiled shyly at him. "It's almost a little funny how you were so eager to leave every single time."

Lockwood ran his hand through his hair. "I like it more to be in the field, you know? Facing the threats head-on. The library isn't exactly my favourite place to be - though that might have changed today."

He watched as she blushed brightly and averted her eyes. "You're messing with me", she mumbled, but he could tell that she was trying to hide a smile.

"I would never", he chuckled, and she smiled at him before leaning her head against his shoulder. Her hand was resting on her leg, and without thinking, Lockwood moved his hand over hers. For a moment he feared she'd pull away, but she didn't and instead intertwined their fingers.

thanks for reading! feedback is appreciated :)