#I usually write down my thoughts while I'm playing games but I've never posted them before maybe I should do that more often hmm
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👋🏼 I need you to know that your TotK comments give me so much joy!
What's been your favorite part of the game so far?
-pebbles
I'm so glad you've been enjoying them :D
I've really loved running around the map and seeing how things have changed from BOTW! It's been so cool to go !!! I remember this person, and to see what they're up to now. Like the couple you help get together at Lover's Pond?? They have a daughter now 😭 absolutely insane, I love it sm
I've also really enjoyed the boss fights (esp Colgera and Queen Gibdo) and TULIN and all the music and the way the main quest is just "Find Zelda" like yeah sure you should probably stop the living (ish) embodiment of all evil, but that's more of a side thing. The priority is finding Zelda and it's very sweet 🥺
ALSO THE LIGHT DRAGON I LOVE HER SM
#I read an analysis somewhere once about the Light Dragon's theme#that it's the first few notes of Zelda's Lullaby before trailing off bc she can't quite remember who she is#and she's trying to recall it but she CAN'T#so every time I'm sitting on her head I think about that and cry skshskshskshkss#I have. many thoughts. none of them are coherent#I'm so very normal about Link and Zelda's relationship in this game skshskhsksbsms#btw#this is very rambly I hope it makes sense 😭#I usually write down my thoughts while I'm playing games but I've never posted them before maybe I should do that more often hmm#anyways sksbsns#thanks for the ask!!!#:D#asks#tears of the kingdom#legend of zelda#emmie plays TOTK
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Collide | l.hs 이희승 | pt. 1
best friend!heesung x best friend!reader
READ PT2 HERE
warnings: smut (mdni), pwp (plot's there if you look hard enough), unprotected sex, cream pie, multiple orgasms, oral (f. receiving), overstimulation (sort of?), nipple play, heesung is cocky but only for a bit, no use of "y/n". It got sort of fluffy at the end?
synopsis: you've been having hookups for a while, but none of them have been memorable, much less good, so heesung decided you change that. Although his intentions might not be 100% pure.
wc: 5k.
a/n: this is by far not my first smut (it's literally all I write lol) but I've never posted for the enhypen fandom although I've been delusional about heesung and jake for a good while now. I have decided to break my silence. pls let me know if there are any mistakes and for sure let me know if you liked it! I actually quite enjoyed writing this as I began working on part two as soon as I finished. Also English is not my first language, I'm certain I revised this enough to avoid any grammar mistakes but thought I'd give y'all the heads up.
You arrived at Heesung's apartment late that night, just like you had warned him that you would. Given that your last date's place was near Heesung's, he had offered you to come over after your night out so that you didn't have to take a cab home. He said he'd be up playing anyway since it was a Friday night.
When you knocked, he had stood by his word. It took a few knocks and missed calls but eventually, the door opened, showing Heesung in a plain white tshirt and grey sweatpants. He welcomed you with a gentle smile, quiet as the noise rang through his headset. You nodded at him in acknowledgement and he took a step to the side to let you in.
As usual, you left your things on the couch. You signaled towards his bathroom and he nodded again, then left you alone to finish his game. You took a towel from his closet and one of his longer shirts and headed to the shower, head hanging low, letting the water run down your body when you stepped in, standing still under it, eyes closed.
Your date had been a mess.
The guy was nice; he held up to the bare minimum requirements of kindness and politeness, he payed for the bill even when you insisted for him to at least let you split it. Then he held your arm and guided you to his car like a true gentleman, where he took you to his house, layed you on his bed, and gave you the most boring, cunt-drying head and sex of your life. It felt criminal, really, that a man so handsome and well put together was such a boring and dull fuck. But there he had been, dirty blond hair parted to the side, stuck to his forehead as he sweat and heaved like a fucking pig white fucking into you, paying no mind to what you were feeling, only chasing his high.
Heesung, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about the look on your face when you stepped inside. Nor could he stop thinking about the marks that he hoped to god would be gone by morning, or your messy hair and out of place clothes, and the fact that you were willing to pull through with the plan of going to his apartment instead of staying with the guy. He picked you up, fucked you poorly (most likely), and couldn't even drive you somewhere else?
Ever since you became confident enough to put yourself out there, you've had quire the few hookups, which was unsurprising to Heesung. You were pretty, charming, and kind, and he saw those things every day. However, heesung wasn't stupid. He knew that at the end of the day, there was a good reason as to why men overall didn't have a good reputation during sex. And Heesung was someone who would love to show you a good time, but he didn't want to lose you over it.
He dreamed of it. Fantasized about it so many times— about all the ways in which he would fuck you, so good that no one else could even compare. To have you come back to him each time you even so much as think about trying to sleep with some other guy that isn't him. He'd give you the slow, teasing version of it first, taking his sweet time with each and every inch of skin until you were shaking just from the mere anticipation of feeling his cock push in, dragging out the pleasure in slow waves, praising you for enduring such intense feelings. Make you feel so good you'd cry.
If you wanted, Heesung could be rough, too. Bend you over every single piece of furniture of his apartment and yours. In his car as well, he would be lying if he said he never imagined putting you on your hands and knees on the backseat of his car whenever he picked you up from a party; have claw at the leather and leave your mark on it. Park somewhere dark and let you ride him on the driver's seat.
To be quite frank, it drove him crazy; to know that you were in his bathroom— naked in his house, and he couldn't just walk in and press you against the wall, ready to hold your weight when your knees begin to shake and buckle.
Heesung shook his thoughts away, going back to his game and trying to act normal. He unmuted himself to yell at Jake and Yeonjun, who were performing even worse than him. As they went quiet again, he heard the water stop and the bathroom door open. Your reflection appeared on his second monitor, your hair in somewhat of a low ponytail over your shoulder with a few strands on the front. Some parts of your body were clearly still damp, and his shirt stuck where there were still drops of water gathering on your skin. Heesung licked his lips, desperate to end the game and go to you, who layed comfortably on his bed, scrolling through your phone with a cold expression.
You sighed while you stared holes into Heesung's stiff back and shoulders. You showed up to his apartment knowing that he was going to be gaming with his friends, but a part of you still hoped that he would've dropped everything for like he had done sometimes, especially since today had been particularly frustrating. Still, you waited for him, just rather impatiently.
He didn't bother to say goodbye to his boys, he only turned off his computer and took his headphones off, rubbing at his red and sore ears. He turned on his chair and smiled.
“I'm done.”
“Did you win?” you said, raising an eyebrow.
Heesung shook his head. “I wasn't focusing.” He shrugged. “How bad was it?"
“How'd you know it was bad?"
“You're here, aren't you?” He chuckled.
Your shoulders dropped in defeat, quietly admitting your best friend was right. Heesung's eyes softened, displaying pity as your hands came up to rub your face, leaving a red trail of pure frustration.
“He was so handsome and sweet,” You groaned into your palms. “But he barely even kissed me, or touched me.”
He gritted his teeth, eyes landing on the small, purplish spots on your neck. “You're all marked up though,” he said, trying not to let his jealousy seep into his words.
“I practically had to beg him to do anything,” you admitted, embarassed that those words even came out of your mouth.
Begged?, Heesung thought, you had to beg a random guy to do what he had been dying to do to you? He scratched at the back of his neck.
“I don't know where you keep finding these scumbags.” He stood up, walking towards the bed to sit next to you.
“Maybe they're all scumbags and I should give up, because I didn't even get to finish.”
Heesung pressed his lips together, making a thin line. He tried to think about what to say next, but words were out of his mouth before he could consider all outcomes.
“Do you still want to?”
“Want to what?” you furrowed your eyebrows, confused.
“Come,” he responded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you still want to come?”
Heat crept up your cheeks, your body beggining to deter from his gaze. Neither of you had ever been shy about discussing sex, or each other's sex lives—though he was much more reserved about it than you were—, but something in the atmosphere made you nervous. Something in his tone as the words came out of his mouth, something about heesung saying those words to you.
You huffed. “Well, who doesn't, right?”
His pupils were blown out in an instant. “Then let me help you.”
“Help me what?” you rolled your eyes at him, exasperated. Although he wasn't being as cryptic as you perceived him, you were just in a bad mood.
Heesung just shrugged. “Come,” he repeated, leaning closer to you. “Let me make you come.”
The whole world stopped for you, or at least that's what it felt like. Your face contorted, a thousand thoughts rushing through your mind.
Yes, it was your best friend, who you barely recognized at the moment. But you would be lying if you said his words didn't have an effect on you, his offer making you shiver. Still, you had some level of skepticism because again, he was your best friend.
“Stop playing, I'm not in the mood.” Was all you managed to push out, not feeling like being teased.
Unable to back down now —or not wanting to—, heesung took a deep breath.
“Do I look like I'm playing?”
You turn to face him, and looked for a hint, or even such as a glimpse of him being the teasing asshole that he had always been, however, he never faltered. If anything, he seemed impatient for an answer.
“I think you deserve to know what a good night feels like,” He continued.
“You think you're good?” You scoffed mockingly, already feeling your body heating up at his promises. A good night? Yes, you were in desperate need of one of those. It was nothing Heesung wasn't already aware of.
“I know I am,” he smirked.
His confidence set off something inside of you. If it turned out that he was all talk, then, you'll be damned, because god, did he know how to talk. Not only using his words, but also his whole body, as he leaned foward to press his face closer to yours. Had he always been like this or were you just noticing?
For the time you had known Heesung, you never knew him for one to sleep and mess around. He was a flirt, sure, he loved to lean in during parties to make the women around him flustered. More often than not, he would brush past them with a hand on their waist and watched as they blushed, but despite his good looks and undeniable charisma, you've never heard about him constantly hooking up, nor doing it often like you did.
Regardless, wether it was seldom or not, Heesung fucked. It was a fact, even if it seemed like he was too busy gaming and working, he had managed to fit some fun time in his packed schedule of work hours and consoles. You couldn't deny you've heard about him, given that he had unknowingly slept with two of your coworkers. It wasn't something you told him, and until this very day, he was still unaware of the fact.
But you were very aware of what had been said about him, because you heard them discuss in great detail about how good the sex had been. They had talked about everything, from the size of his cock to how he knew how to eat out a woman—and how good he looked doing it—, how many times they came and what not. It had been weird to hear about how good your best friend was in bed, but you still grew curious, dying to know if the rumours were true, and if he was the well built roman sex god they made him out to be.
He was your best friend, yes (how many times had you said it already?). Still, you weren't blind nor stupid, you could see how gorgeous he was, how hot he looked, having been flustered by him one too many times. Certain feelings harvested in you that you had pushed to the side, thinking that you would bully them away by telling yourself than a friend who just so happened to be stupidly handsome. And you had managed quite well, that until today, with Heesung infront of you, willing to give you what you wanted.
Would the sex outweigh any possible bad outcomes that may come from hooking up with the person you trust the most? Only time would tell.
“Okay,” you whispered, feeling shy under his impatient gaze.
He reached out his hand, softly cupping your chin. His thumb caressed your jawline.
“I'll be gentle.”
Your brows furrowed. “I'm not a virgin, Heesung.”
“Do you need to be a virgin for that?” He laughed, dumbfounded by your words. “Just lay back and let me make you feel good.”
Promises, promises, promises. “Are you all talk or do I have to beg you too?”
Heesung smirked. “Don't give me ideas.”
Any hesitation any of you might have still had vanished the minute your lips pressed together. Heesung moved slowly, almost forcing you to follow his lead and you obliged, sighing into the kiss. You held his nape to pull him closer, it was the only thing he let you do. He allowed you to guide him on top of you, and you spread your legs so that he could settle himself between them to kiss you deeper.
His tongue pushed against yours without a warning and you whimpered. Just the kissing had your heart threatening to shoot a hole into your chest from the inside out. Heesung had inviting lips for sure, but god, did he know how to use them.
You were desperate to have him touch you but still whined and protested when his mouth began to make its way down, stopping by your neck first, biting just below your jawline. Your hands trembled, trying to find something to hold on to until you figured the best thing to sink your nails into were his shoulders.
Heesung loved it, to know his skin would welcome anything your body gave. So mesmerized by the way you reacted to his touches, so receptive and sensitive to him. He couldn't believe it yet, that he had you on his bed, kissing you breathless.
Your back arched into him when he sucked on the skin, making sure to leave more visibly, longer lasting marks over the ones you already had. He watched as your skin became stained with a darker purple, his cock throbbing at the sight; at the thought of seeing you on his clothes, your body littered in his marks.
He raised your shirt over your breasts. You reached for the hem of the shirt to pull it over your head to give him more space to do what he wanted more comfortably. He stopped you immediately, though.
“I wanna fuck you in my shirt,” he confessed, trying not to show his desperation.
His words almost were enough to make you moan, and you realised you weren't turned off by the idea of being owned in some way, especially if it was Heesung who did. Or perhaps you were just incredibly horny, and he had started to play with one of your nipples between his fingers, the other one going into his mouth.
With your hand gripping his head tightly, you pushed him towards your chest. He swirled his tongue around the bud in acknowledgement of your actions, which made you buck your hips up in an attempt to get some sort of friction. You could feel your panties sticking to your skin, was it normal to be this wet just from kissing?
It was probably how it should have been with your date, or with any of the other guys you had slept with. But only you had managed to get yourself to that state, alone in your room with your fingers, and now Heesung with his skilled mouth licking and swirling his tongue around your hardened nipples, his hips pressed against your cunt to keep you from squirming or pressing your legs together. You took the opportunity to grind yourself against him, feeling the outline of his already hard cock on your shorts. The whine he let out was long and needy.
“Heesung,” you moaned, nudging at his shoulder to push him away. “More.”
Heesung's knees buckled at your pleads.
“Beg a little more, baby.” He instructed. He pressed a soft kiss between your breasts, where a drop of sweat had begun to roll down. “Say my name again.”
Heesung found himself hypnotized by the way you moaned out his name. The way you tried to shove him down to get him to go between your legs just made him want to tease you more.
“heesung please, please, fuck—,” you babbled. “God, stop teasing me.”
“No god here, just me,” Heesung smirked at you.
Thankfully, what you said had been enough. He made his way down slowly, ghosting his hands over your waist as he directed his kisses from your abdomen until his lips met the hem of your shorts. He pushed them to the side and stared at your white panties now turned transparent from the wetness. And he almost couldn't believe it was for him. A bunch of thoughts passed through his mind that he didn't dare to voice; how he had wanted this for so long, how he was hoping you would come to your senses and realize how much better he was than all the other guys you had gone out with. How he hoped this would absolutely ruin you, and make you feel like you will never find something out there that could compete. The thought of this possibly being a one time thing, and that you could run off to some other douchebag was nauseating.
He offered himself up expecting that, by the end of the night, he'll own you.
It wasn't something that he wanted to keep thinking about. All he wanted was to hear more of your pretty sounds. You gasped when he yanked down your shorts, leaving on your underwear just to mess with you and make you desperate for him. He glided his thumb over your cunt, occasionally putting pressure on your clit but never quite staying there. Your legs and hips twitched, your pathetic attempt to guide his finger. Loud moans and whines kept pouring from your lips as you tried to get him where you wanted.
“Have any of those assholes ever gone down on you?” he asked, sort of absent.
Had they? You weren't really sure. Sometimes they would kiss between your legs, a few licks here and there before they pushed their cock in, but never like what your friends have told you it was like. Jealousy burbled in your stomach whenever you heard them talk about it— the unimaginable pleasure, the look on the man's face he ate them out like his life depended on it. You have had a glimpse, a very bad one, but you had almost felt what it was like. However, at the end of the day, it was mostly you on your knees with your mouth stuffed.
Ultimately, you decided to tell him exactly that. “Yeah, but not really. It's usually me who does.”
Heesung clicked his tongue, completely displeased by your answer. It pissed him off, sort of, at least enough to pull your panties down and finally beginning to live up to his promise. He flicked the tip of his tongue over your clit, to which your body immediately reacted, forcing a whimper out of you.
His hands forced your legs open as far as they would go, taking full control, leaving you defenseless under his relentless mouth and tongue. Same tongue he pushed inside you, thrusting it into your hole, feeling you squeeze him. The way your walls tightened around his tongue turned him impatient, dying to get that same feeling on his cock. But you were his priority right now, and he would have time to feel you soon enough.
The orgasm that you had been longing for since you accepted your date felt closer than ever, with heesung's nose hitting your clit, and his tongue moving inside you. He then reached up to suck on your clit that kept getting more and more swollen the more his lips would close around it, rolling his tongue over it. As he kept playing with it, he teased his finger on your entrance, gathering your slick on it and sliding it in with little to no effort, your body welcoming him instantly. He found himself stretching you further in no time, slowly pushing in a second finger and curling both of them.
“Feel good baby?” he mumbled. It was uncommon for him to ask those types of questions, since he would rather have girls show him. But from you, he wanted to hear it, he needed to hear it.
The question almost sounded stupid in your ears.
“So fucking good,” you breathed out. “So fucking close.”
All of the rumours were true, and Heesung absolutely looked hot pleasuring a woman, smiling to himself, looking drunk and fucked out just from it, his only goal to have you finish thanks to him. He was good, exactly like he said he was, making your eyes roll back, a thing you had only thought possible in porn, and just by using his mouth. And he still had yet to fuck you.
The pace of his fingers and tongue quickened, your moans got louder along with it. Edging you was something he considered, feeling you so close, having the power to just stop all at once and leave you hanging.
Your orgasm came crashing down on you before he could make a decision, and fuck if it wasn't one of the hottest things he had ever witnessed; how your back arched and your feet lift off of the bed as the highest peak of pleasure you had ever felt invaded your body in waves, body convulsing onto his hand in time with the loud, borderline screams of his name. It had gotten to the point you had to kick at his shoulders for him to pull away, sensations quickly turning painful.
If that's how you were gonna feel on his cock, he was certain that he was not going to last long.
“Shit, Heesung, that was—”
"I'm not done with you, sweetheart,” he interrupted. “I barely just started.” He chuckled, begging to pull down his sweatpants, revealing the wet patch of precum on his underwear. “Look what you did to me.”
Your eyes never stopped following his hands as he hooked his fingers om his boxers to finally free his cock from being smothered by the fabric, standing proudly against his abdomen, heavy. Something in your stomach fluttered with a twisted exciment of what was about to happen, especially when he wrapped his hand around it to stroke it slowly, almost teasing himself.
And you let him, watching him try to relieve himself; his mouth open, panting, so focused on aliviating his arousal that he almost forgot you were there. That until both of your eyes met, the atmosphere in the room getting heavier by the minute
Heesung stopped moving his hand. “Come spit on it, baby,” he instructed. “Get it ready.”
A breath got stuck in your throat at his words. That hadn't been the nastiest thing you heard, you had been said and called way worse. But the way he look and sounded while he made his request, knelt in front of you, hair out of place and lips dark pink and glossy from eating you out made him look and sound so utterly dirty, so much so that your body reacted way before you did, already crawling to him before he could finish that sentence fully.
You looked straight into his eyes as you opened your moth, a long string of saliva falling from your tongue in slow motion until it met the head of his cock. He looked right back at you as he spread it across his length. Heesung muttered curse after curse as you laid back down, and was quick to settle himself between your legs once more.
His tip pressed against your entrance, and you felt the stretch almost immediately, hissing and putting your hand on stomach as a reflex. He held your wrist gently, used his grip to pull your hand up to his face, pressing a soft kiss on your palm. His eyes fluttered shut as your warm skin came into contact with his lips. And when you moved to cup his cheek, he leaned into the touch instantly. You began to tease his bottom lip, running your thumb over it, and as he sunk himself even further, he caught it between his teeth, gently grazing them against your semilong nails, until he finally closed his mouth around it. He hummed.
It took Heesung a while to bottom out inside you, and you moaned and whined all the way through it; from the pain of being stretched open and from the pleasure of being stretched open. He moaned as well, as his hips met your pelvis, with your walls fluttering around his cock. His thoughts were going at a thousand miles, all of them screaming at him to really, really fuck you into the mattress. But he stayed put for the sake of your enjoyment, he had promised you a good night and he was going to drag it out as much as he could for your and his enjoyment.
Still with your thumb between his lips, he began to slowly move his hips, barely pulling out before pushing back in to get you used to his girth. You gripped his bicep with your free hand, scratching down on his skin until the sting started to dissipate. You took notice of the way he held his breath as the speed began to increase, moaning and groaning when you squeezed him in.
It was dizzying, how you felt him everywhere. In your hand, with his moans vibrating on your palm; inside you as he dragged his cock, barely managing to pull out an inch before diving back in, pressing himself against you as much as he could so that he was fully settled inside your walls. Due to his cocky attitude, you didn't take him for the type of guy to be vocal. But there he was, whining louder and louder, almost uncontrollably, and that only turned you on more. The fact that you, too, were making him feel good and he was not afraid to show it.
You weren't usually this pliant and submissive, preferring to put up a little bit of a fight, managing to make guys submit to you instead as you took the lead. With Heesung, though, it was different, whether it was because was mesmerizing or because you had never felt such heightened pleasure, it was clear that he had control from the moment he got closer to you before he made his offer. And you could take control, probably, but you didn't want to. You wanted Heesung to do the work, to prove himself.
Which he was, taking on a pleasurable rhythm that had you moaning louder than him. One of his hands found the plush of your hips and gripped onto it for leverage to angle himself. The other one traveled from your chest all the way down to your clit, rubbing messy circles with his thumb, making you throw your head back into the pillows, along with a cry of his name.
The echo of his skin hitting against yours fueled him. Heesung didn't know where he should be looking at, if at your beautifully contorted face, with your eyes closed shut and your lips parted, or down, to where a white ring of your slick began to sorround the base of his cock each time he pulled out, noises growing increasingly wetter.
“You're driving me fucking insane,” he grunted.
There was no response from you, only whines of pleasure as you neared your second release. His thumb circled faster, not too hard, but enough to send all of your senses into overdrive, encouraging you to reach your climax, dying to know if you'd feel as good on his cock as you did on his fingers. And although he was dying to kiss you, he held back his urges just to see your face as you came, with your legs closing around his waist, your body slightly convulsing off the bed. It was nothing short of delightful.
You attempted to catch your breath, but heesung didn't give you time to process your intense orgasm as he flipped you onto your stomach. He pressed your cheek into the mattress and accommodated your lower half as he pleased. You were barely able to hold your ass up in the air for him, your knees weak as he entered you again. Only then did you register that you had come twice already, but had yet to see or feel a single drop from him.
“You are fucking insane,” you groaned, teary eyed.
He chuckled, movements coming to a halt. “I made you come twice and you still complain? Tsk. Greedy.” He dug his nails into your hips, making you wince. “Sorry you're tired, but it's my turn now.”
With that, his thrusts resumed, opting for a quicker, rougher pace than before, clearly turning a bit more selfish and now after his own release. The new position allowed him to reach deeper, making you press yourself back onto him to meet him halfway, chasing the sensation despite the pang of pain from having orgasmed so recently.
Heesung leaned down to bite onto your shoulder, in the pace where his tshirt wouldn't cover, making sure to engrave his teeth into your skin, hoping the next man you tried to sleep with would be turned off by the markings. He let go when you complained, kissing and licking onto it instead, whispering more soft apologies, although both of you knew that he wasn't sorry at all.
After a while his thrusts became more erratic, losing any pacing he tried to maintain. The grip on your hips was bruising, but you thought you wouldn't have it any other way.
“Touch yourself for me,” he commanded in between his moans.
You reached down between your body and the matress, struggling to reach your clit as Heesung's thrusts moved and pressed you against the sheets. Your motions were slow and light despite the harsh snapping of heesung's hips, slowly building up the pressure in your lower stomach until any discomfort you felt was gone, your fingers now matching his speed, mindless of the way your cunt tightened around him almost painfully.
He didn't stop nor slow down, not even as he came. Loud moans spilled from his lips, attempting to drag out his release as much as he could. And you followed soon after, body giving out under heesung to lay flat onto the bed, breathing heavily. He spread your legs carefully to not miss the way his cum oozed out of you, dripping down onto your folds. You turned your head back as best as you could, and through the mess of hair on your face, you still caught the way he smiled to himself as he watched.
“This is video worthy,” Heesung murmured, dragging his fingers up your cunt to fuck his cum back into you. “You're gonna make me hard again.”
You squirmed away from him, kicking at his sides. “Stop it,” you whined, then whined again as he pulled his fingers out languidly, the sight so painfully naughty it almost made you ask him to fuck you again. However, you were too tired to even hold yourself up.
Heesung's whole demeanour changed, and he was back to being just him; playful and soft spoken. “Sorry,” he chuckled, the only time it sounded like he actually meant it. He hovered over you, moving your hair to place gentle kisses on the nape of your neck.
It made you sigh, muscles finally relaxing, and your hearbeat now back to normal. Or sort of normal.
For the sake of the moment, you tried not to think about anything; about the fact that you just had the most intense and amazing sex with your best friend, no other. And you had to admit that you were kind of sad about the fact that it was over, and that it was probably gonna be a one time thing to protect the friendship. So you allowed yourself to be held by him, pushing any and all thoughts to the back of your mind.
“You're beautiful, you know?” he whispered against your skin.
He was making it way too hard.
“Not so bad yourself,” you mumbled jokingly. Heesung was fucking beautiful, too. “M'gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that.”
“Sleep, then,” he smiled.
“Thank you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “For what?”
“The dick, and the kisses.”
Heesung couldn't help but laugh, a loud but oddly comforting sound as you began to drift off.
“Anytime.”
#eatyourfriendsfics#lee heeseung#lee heesung smut#lee heesung x reader#reader x idol#reader x lee heesung#heesung enhypen#heesung smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen x reader#heesung fanfiction#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen heesung#enha heesung
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I'm Not Sorry
Bob Floyd x F!Reader
Warnings: 18+, language, dry humping, semi-public hookup
Inspired by This Text Post: i should be riding some nerd's thigh while he gropes all over my body & tells me i'm the girl of his dreams
Word Count: 3.7k
A/N: i've been struggling to finish fics lately but i saw that text post a couple days ago, knew i wanted to write about it for Bob, and then BAM this all fell outta me tonight. unbeta'd to the max but Bob Floyd deserves to fuck so time was of the essence 😌
Top Gun Maverick Taglist: @garbinge @proceduralpassion @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)
If you wanted to be dramatic, you could say that you and Bob had been playing a very coy game of cat and mouse for months. It was a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much. A majority of the time that you spent with each other was work-related. It was usually work related, and there was almost always other people around. The closest the two of you got to having time alone was when all of you went out together and everyone else got distracted with pool or darts or each other. So while it might’ve been months according to the calendar, it wasn’t really quite that drastic.
Still, though, you tried to make the most out of the time that the two of you got to have.
It was easy, especially at first, to get a rise out of him, to get his cheeks to flush pink, to get him tripping over his words. A seemingly accidental touch, a well-timed innuendo or wink—that’s all it really took. You didn’t say anything about it but you noticed each time his gaze would break, eyes flickering down from yours to your mouth anytime your teeth dragged along your bottom lip. It never took much with him and for a while you just chalked it up to the fact that he was sweet and shy and a little awkward, that anyone flirting with him like that would get that reaction out of him. It wasn’t until you saw him perfectly unfazed at The Hard Deck one night when a girl at the bar was all but falling into his lap that you realized it wasn’t a Bob thing. It was a you thing. Once you realized that, it was all bets off.
There had been more than one occasion when thanks to your subtly wandering hands Bob nearly spat his drink out across the bar or dropped the bottle from his hand completely. You were able to keep a straight face and play it off, and every now and then Bob was able to recover with some grace, but there had been a time or two when he’d caught a few odd looks from the rest of the crew. It was easy enough to wave them off and they’d let it drop, but the second his focus was back on you, you could tell that he was working overtime to stay on the right side of self-control. All you could do was smile and try to carry on like nothing had happened.
Truthfully, it had gotten to a point where you had almost just resigned yourself to this being what it was going to be like with you and Bob. You were trying to accept that this limbo, this knowing that you wanted him and he wanted you but neither of you really found the time to do much of anything about it, was as good as it was going to get. A never-ending chase, a game with no winners.
“Alright,” you said as you hopped off your barstool, “I gotta head out.”
“Why?” Rooster asked, sounding as though he couldn’t fathom why anyone would want or need to be anywhere else on a Friday night.
You laughed as you dug your wallet out, taking out a few bills to close out your tab and then some. “Some of us have shit to do in the morning, Bradshaw.”
He laughed and gave you a mock disbelieving look. “I don’t think so.”
Raising your eyebrows, you turned your head to face him. “You wanna close out my tab, then? Sounds like you might wanna close out my tab.”
He threw his hands up in surrender. “Forget it—see you Monday.”
You laughed a little harder at that. “That’s what I thought.”
It didn’t seem like your departure disturbed the flow too much, everyone falling back into their previous conversations as you made your way to the bar to square up your tab. You didn’t even bother looking back as you made your way to the door of the bar. By the time your feet hit the blacktop of the parking lot, you were already fishing your keys out of your bag.
Once you were a few strides away from the bar and the clamor of noise coming from inside died down, all you heard was the sound of your own footsteps, and the ocean not too far off. It was peaceful until you heard someone else’s footsteps behind you. The sound alone wouldn’t usually have been strange. Someone else deciding to leave the bar at the same time as you wasn’t a weird occurrence. What made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, however, was the fact that the footsteps were getting quicker and closer. You felt your jaw clenching, positioning your keys between your fingers the way you’d always been taught. You were only a few steps away from your car now but you still found yourself taking a deep breath, getting ready to turn around and see whoever it was that was behind you. You were about to turn and brace for impact when you heard Bob’s voice calling out your name, a little breathless, and very rushed.
Turning around and seeing him, some of the tension disappeared. You huffed, shoulders dropping. “Jesus, Bob.”
There was an apologetic smile on his face as he realized what had just happened. “Sorry.”
Shaking your head, you slipped your keys so that you were holding them in your hand normally again. You managed to laugh at the potential worst case scenario versus the reality of the situation. “Another step without saying my name and I think we both would’ve been sorry.”
He stepped in a little closer to you as he nodded towards your car. “Just wanted to walk you to your car.”
You rolled your eyes but smiled as you turned and started the last few steps across the lot with him. “You know, walking me out to my car is much more chivalrous and much less creepy when you tell me you’re going to do it.”
There was a smirk on his face as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Guess I’ll have to remember that next time.”
Silence took over the space between you, and while it was comfortable enough, you couldn’t help but to feel like there was more to it, something in the air. Hitting the unlock button on your keys, the lights of your car flashed once. You looked at Bob, then at your car, and then back to Bob. “Well,” you chuckled, “thank you for the company on this long, treacherous journey.” You reached for the handle on the driver’s door. “Hope we can do it aga—”
Bob cut your sentence short when he placed one hand on top of yours on the door handle, keeping you from opening it. Before you could jump to another sentence and ask him what he was doing, his other hand was pressing against the small of your back and pulling you into him so that he could press his lips to yours in a kiss that was intense and nervous all at once.
It lasted just long enough for you to realize what was happening and how good it felt and then he pulled away. Going off the way his eyes were wider than you’d ever seen them, he was just as surprised at himself as you were. Despite the shock all over his face, he didn’t take his hand off your back, although the one that was covering yours on the door dropped back to his side.
“Sor—I’m sorry,” he finally forced out. “I’m…” he trailed off as he looked at you, tongue darting out over his bottom lip.
Another second passed in heavy silence, and when you didn’t try to break free of him, didn’t try to push him away, he let the rest of his sentence die on the tip of his tongue as he kissed you again. You could feel the way that he was more confident this time, the warmth of his palm bleeding through the thin fabric of your tank top as he pressed you against him.
You brought your hands up so that they were resting in the crook of where his neck met his shoulder. One slid up, thumb beneath his jaw as he deepened the kiss. It was all you could do to not ball up the cotton of his t-shirt in your fist, put it in a vice grip so that he couldn’t try to get away. However once you felt the way his tongue pushed into your mouth, and the way he used his body to pin you between him and the side of the car, it became clear that he wasn’t planning on going anywhere.
He had one hand still on your back, one hand braced against the side of your car. It was the first time it ever seemed like he was crowding you, like he was trying to make you seem small. You didn’t mind it. With the way he was kissing you, you were fairly certain you wouldn’t mind anything.
The next time the two of you came up for air, he didn’t pull far enough away for you to really see him. You were just far enough apart for your lips not to be touching, but you could still feel the side of his nose pressed against yours. You could still feel his breath against your skin. The two of you were pressed so tight against each other that you could’ve sworn you could feel the way his heart was about to beat clean out of his chest.
“Shit,” the word fell from his lips in a whisper, followed by an equally soft laugh. His lips brushed against yours as he spoke. “I’m…I’m not sorry.”
You laughed at that, couldn’t help yourself do to anything but. “Good.” Your hand slid from his jaw to the back of his head. “You shouldn’t be.” Kissing him again, you let your teeth pull lightly at his bottom lip as you pulled away. “Only thing you need to be sorry for is taking so long.”
He smiled and shook his head. If the lighting had been better you were sure that you would see a blush all across his cheeks and down his neck. You’d have to settle for the mental image of it. “Didn’t see you chasing me down across any parking lots for a kiss before this either,” he rebutted with a chuckle.
“Touché.”
The humor died down out of his voice as he said, “You know how long I’ve been wanting to do that?”
You nodded, noses brushing against each other. The bridge of his glasses bumped against your forehead for a split second in the process. “I’ve got a pretty good idea, yeah.”
Your bodies were pressed together so tightly that you felt it when he sucked in a quick breath. There were a million things that he wanted to say to you and he couldn’t make himself say any of them in that moment. He had his hand on your back and the taste of your kiss on his lips and yet none of the things he’d been thinking over the passing months were making it out.
The feeling of your fingers toying with the longer strands of his hair centered him enough for him to smile as he said, “At least you know that. I—oh—” He fumbled his way out of the sentence when he felt your lips on his neck.
“Bob?” you said, lips brushing against the column of his throat as you spoke.
“Y-yeah?” he stammered out, and you could feel the vibrations against your lips as he talked.
Taking one hand off of him, you reached and pulled on the handle to the back door of your car. You kissed him again, pushing both of you off the side of the car in the process. “Get in the car.”
He was far enough away that you could see the shocked look on his face. “What?”
You placed your hands on his sides, switching your positions so that he was closer to the car than you. “Car.” You kissed him. “Back seat.” Another kiss. “Now.”
“Now?” He looked around the parking lot. Full of cars but completely devoid of people. “Here?”
You laughed as you pushed him farther back, causing him to duck slightly as he went backwards into the car. “Preferably, yeah.”
“I don’t—whoa,” he fell back across your back seat, managing to brace himself on his forearms.
You shimmied in after him. Pulling the door shut behind you, you climbed on top of him, one leg between his, the other pinned between the outside of his leg and the back seat. It was close quarters, but you weren’t exactly looking to put any distance between the two of you.
Your hands landed on his shoulders, fingers curling over the curve of them as you leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Whatever reservations he’d had about your current location disappeared almost immediately once your lips caught his. His hands were on your hips for a moment. You could feel the way he tightened his grip even through the denim of your shorts. Your lips and his met over and over, each reconnection making him a little bolder.
He managed to get his thoughts together just enough to pry one hand from your hip so that he could reach up and take his glasses off. He all but tossed them up and onto the center console between the driver and passenger seats. You were smiling and about to make a comment about the action but you didn’t get the chance. He brought his hand back to you, starting off on the soft, exposed skin of your thigh. His touch was soft at first, but quickly started to change. His fingers dragged up your leg before slipping past the bottom hem of your shorts.
Your pleased gasp of surprise when you felt the pads of his fingertips over the lace of your panties was quickly smothered as he pulled your lips back to his again. His grip on your ass tightened, pushing you down harder onto his thigh and causing you to moan into his mouth.
For a split second you couldn’t believe it. All this time and Bob hadn’t been able to make a move, couldn’t believe that you wanted to fool around in the back seat of your car—that same man was now grinding you down against his thigh in a way that had you wet and clenching around nothing.
You broke the kiss to catch your breath, muttering out a quiet, needy, “Fuck,” as you continued to move along the top of his leg.
When you pulled back enough to see him, you saw the way that he was watching the movement of your hips. He didn’t take his eyes off of you, felt like he physically couldn’t tear himself away from the sight. His hold on you loosened as you found your own rhythm. A tiny whimper slipped past your lips, the sound involuntary as you savored the friction. The sound made his gaze snap back up to your face, and when he saw the want and desperation etched into your expression he thought that he was going to melt into a puddle right there on your back seat. What a way to go.
He pulled you back down into another kiss, your bodies flush practically from head to toe. Even as you continued to move against his thigh, you could feel the way he was shifting slightly, trying to get in the most comfortable position as he felt himself growing more and more aroused with each passing second. He didn’t let you pull away, though, didn’t let you put any distance between you. With you pinning his leg to the seat, Bob let his hands wander up underneath he fabric of your shirt. Suddenly it was like you felt his hands everywhere—your back, your sides, your chest. He slipped them down past the waistband of your shorts and underwear, fingers kneading the flesh of your ass in a way that with everything else had your legs starting to shake.
Bob could feel it, too. He could feel the increased sense of urgency in your movements, the way you were chasing after something and you almost had it. He was half-expecting to be woken up and find out that this was all just a dream. But not even his dreams had been this good, felt this good.
He dragged his lips off of yours, trailing them along your jaw instead. He left a string of sloppy, desperate kisses in his wake until his lips were beside your ear. One of his hands crept up your back, palm and fingertips scorching your skin in the best way.
“I meant it, you know,” his whisper came out lower than you’d ever heard, a tiny hint of a tremor to it, “when I said I’ve been wanting this—you.” He kissed below your ear, feeling the shaky breath you let out at that, at his words. “But even when I thought about it,” he kissed your jaw, “or dreamed about you,” he kissed your neck, “it wasn’t—shit—it wasn’t anything compared to this.”
Fighting the urge to bury yourself into the crook of his neck at his words, you pulled your head back. You cupped his jaw roughly in one hand and crashed your lips against his. His arms slithered around you and wrapped you tightly against him. He could still feel the slight shake in your legs.
“Bob—”
He stole another quick kiss. “I’d wait all over again for this.”
You could hear it in his voice how genuine he was being. You tried not to let yourself get distracted by his still-wandering hands, or his erection that you could still feel through his jeans. You tried to start your sentence again. “Bob, I—”
“Let me—”
“Come home with me,” you cut him off right back this time, deciding to just get to the point of what you were trying to say.
Confusion flashed across his face for a quick moment. “What?”
“Come back to my place.”
“I thought—”
“I wanna do this.” You sat up enough so that you could drag your fingertips down over his chest and stomach, even doing it over the fabric of his shirt had him starting to squirm with want. “But I’d rather do it somewhere where I don’t have to worry about smacking my head off the ceiling if I sit up all the way.”
The statement got both of you to laugh. “That’s fair.” He paused, a smirk on his face as he said, “Car was your idea, though.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m feeling a little impatient. Sue me.”
He pulled you into another kiss, one that every time you thought it was over he’d pull you back in all over again. As much as you wanted to get him back to your apartment and laid out on your bed, you also knew that you’d spend as much time as he wanted to doing exactly what you were doing right now. Anything to keep him this close now that you had him there.
When he released you from the kiss, he looked up at you with that same smile, that same slightly dazed look to in his eyes. Like he couldn’t believe this was happening. You couldn’t really believe it either. You couldn’t believe that any of it was happening at all, but you were also having a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that Bob Floyd, the same man who could barely make eye contact with you at the bar the first time you all went out together, was the same man who looked like he was about to try and strategize how to best make use of your back seat so he wouldn’t have to wait to get back to your apartment.
“I live less than ten minutes from here,” you said, already knowing what he was going to say.
His hands moved around to the front of you, fingers just barely curled over into the front of your waistband. You pretended not to notice the way he was toying with the button of your shorts. “Thought you had things to do tomorrow?”
You laughed, leaning in and kissing him. “I still do. Now they’re just,” you ran your hand lightly over the crotch of his jeans, enough pressure to get him to buck into you, “different things.” You giggled quietly at the purposeful breath he sucked in. Reaching over, you grabbed his glasses for him. “C’mon. You can ride shotgun.”
He propped himself up by his forearms again as you untangled yourself from him. “What if—”
You couldn’t help but to laugh as you stopped his sentence short. “Little late to get shy now.”
He smiled, face starting to turn red. “Right.”
The only thing that passed between the two of you were knowing looks and soft laughter as you scrambled out and into the front seats of the car. It wasn’t until you were pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road that you spoke up again, trying not to be too distracted by Bob’s hand creeping higher and higher up on your thigh.
“So,” you looked over at him for a second before returning your attention to the road, “you dreamt about me?”
His head dropped back against the headrest and you couldn’t help but to laugh at his faux exasperation. He gave your thigh a squeeze. You were expecting a joke, one of the witty little comebacks that he had a way of finding in the right moments, but instead he let himself be serious as he said, “Yeah, I did.”
The three words hung in the air between you, and you felt the butterflies that you’d been too busy to feel before in the heat and the rush of everything else. You could feel the way that Bob was looking at you while you looked at the road.
“How much longer?” he asked.
You laughed, sparing him a glance. “Six minutes, tops.”
He nodded, fingertips grazing up and down your thigh, goosebumps breaking out over your skin despite how warm your car was with its still-fogged-up windows. “Six minutes.”
#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun: maverick#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#bob floyd#robert floyd#bob floyd x reader#bob floyd x you#robert floyd x reader#robert floyd x you#x reader#x reader fic#my writing#fanfiction#drabblesmc#bob floyd fanfiction
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A Mix-Up || Egon Spengler x reader
Summary: Gender-neutral reader mistakes Elon as Egon (they really do look alike from the back!)
Relationship: Egon Spengler x gn!reader (established relationship)
Word Count: 669
Warnings: Not beta-read, but other than that none! This is just fluffy slice of life
Author's Note: This is actually a little old (early 2022). I'm currently writing for a different piece of media BUT I thought "hey, why not post this now because...why not!" I've always been kinda shy to post my writing on the internet in general but to hell with it tbh ! Cringe culture must die and I love my blorbos past, present, and future too much lol
On AO3
It was a regular, snowy day in downtown New York. Ray was in the downstairs of the firehouse, fixing whatever new problem the Ecto-1 had come up with. Janine was reading some magazine with smart shopping tips while Louis was on the phone discussing taxes, the latter having piles of paperwork on his desk. Business during the holiday season usually slowed down, and that meant getting to spend more quality time with the guys. Peter and Winston were engaging in a friendly but competitive game of pool, and Egon was nowhere in sight. He mentioned something about ��bringing a surprise” to the station, baffling everyone since Egon certainly wasn’t the surprise type. You sat on the couch, head propped up by your hand, watching as Peter lined up his shot.
"I never understood this game," you said with a yawn.
Winston had a small laugh and shook his head. "It's alright, kid, neither does Pete."
"Hey!" The other man said as he thrust his cue stick, completely butchering the shot in the process. "I just don't play this game often enough, alright, Z? I got no practice,"
You and Winston share a laugh at the expense of your colleague, Peter placed his hand on his chest in feigned offense. Winston took his shot, clearly doing a better job than Peter as the other man had scowled as the ball went into the hole. As the two continue playing, the sound of familiar footsteps enters the second floor. Turning your head, you smile brightly as you finally see your boyfriend Egon. His back was turned, preoccupied with refilling the snack cabinet in the kitchen. As he rummaged through the seven eleven bag, you took the chance of slowly sneaking up behind him to give a surprise hug. The two men playing pool had paused their game to watch you, amused from the sight of seeing you crouch up behind their friend.
“Gotcha!” You yelled as you wrapped your arms around Egon’s torso and chest, placing your chin on his shoulder. Unexpectedly, he was completely frozen, unlike how he would usually turn around to return the hug. Your expression quickly morphed into one of confusion as the seconds passed and he stayed completely still.
“Anyway, Elon, I want you to meet-” You whip your head to the left to see Egon standing next to Ray, both the men having mildly concerned looks on their faces.
“...(Y/N)?” The man you were hugging spoke, his voice only slightly different from Egon’s but you could tell it wasn’t your boyfriend. Hastily taking your arms off him, you spew out apology after apology, face fully red.
“I’m so sorry! God I- I should’ve known the second you didn’t hug me back I-”
Elon waved his hand with a laugh, the other guys in the room except Egon cracking up as well. “No matter, no matter, at least I know my little brother is well loved,” Elon took the liberty of pulling you in for a hug this time, and just like Egon he was surprisingly good at giving them.
Egon’s cheeks turn a light pink color from his brother’s statement as he pulls you in for a hug and forehead kiss. Elon had headed over to the billiard table to greet the two men who ended their pool game. The mood in the room turned joyous as all the guys had not seen Elon in a while, making this occasion a real treat.
“Sorry, Eggs, he really does look a lot like you,” you whispered. He smiles before putting his lips on yours, causing your face to go red once again. Getting kissed by Egon certainly did not get old no matter how many times it happens.
“It’s alright, (Y/N), I missed you too.”
Ray called out, “Hey, lovebirds! Get over here before we finish all the pizza.”
You pull away from Egon and adjust his tie, taking his hand and walking over to the others to get a fresh slice of pizza.
#RARE ELON SPENGLER TWIN SIGHTING!!#i love my earth day special boy he's so funny to me#so far this is the only fic i've ever posted anywhere#making it my mission to actually post more of my writing in 2024 or by the end of the year!!#to hell with being shy i need to share my love of x reader fics and my blorbos#egon spengler x reader#ghostbusters x reader#egon spengler#elon spengler#ghostbusters reader insert#ghostbusters#egon spengler imagines#x reader#gender neutral reader#gender neutral y/n
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Ikemen Tier List
whoaaa two posts together whoaaa (you guys didn't witness me doing this first to see if I had the energy to post a finished drabble today)
I've had trouble with the tier lists for a while because I feel like it didn't explain how I felt about these dudes half of the time, but I figured out a better way to mark the tiers and I feel like this sums it up great. And now you too can have a handy dandy 'How does Scum feel about X?' list! If Roderic had a sprite, I would put him in the daily thing, or maybe the top one? hm
Anyway, I'm gonna explain the tiers under the cut for extra clarifications.
[*Wants to write fanfics for 24/7*] : The Current Main Blorbo. All tremble before him - for he holds the writing braincell and he's all anyone hears about forever and ever - until another blorbo takes his spot (usually takes a few years). You'll see him as icons and photos and and and--------
On my mind daily, in some form: Sometimes these characters will be paired with the #1 chara, and so by extension they're thought about often. Sometimes they're not paired with them, but still thought about often. Despite my posting habits, I do enjoy these guys still. A lot, actually.
Think about a few times a week, offhandedly: Rubs chin. I think of Chev and Elbert as a rare comfort. A type of quiet one that is a plesant encouragement in some way or another. Or I get perplexed thinking about how they'd look ordering shitty coffee. Not much of an inbetween. But really I sometimes just enjoy the quiet comfort thoughts when i need them with those two.
Think about a few times a month: They used to be higher up in the faves, but I either got enough of them at some point (in a good way), friends love them with such glee that i just enjoy watching them simp for them, or they just got naturally shifted down in the line as more characters came into view. I won't talk about them much but I do like em in multiple ways.
Scared to think about (for my wallet): legally not allowed to like because I cannot max out my credit card (a joke). I really really really like Alfons and Victor but I am terrified they'll shoot the ranks in a couple of months, and that my wallet will be screaming to be spared (darius is still up for debate)
Want to like but (and/or for reasons cannot): hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Random simping once a blue moon (idk why): I read a translated story of roger once when sitting in my car on a lunch break. I was reading as I was getting out, and nearly fell into the horn when reading about his cock. It tormented me for a week. This happens ocassionally with the others... maybe not a translated story, but i'll have a random thought that hits me like a bullet train and suddenly I'm stumbling and struggling to think about anything else for a bit. (Leonardo is here as punishment, he knows what he did)
Was Favorite when playing but ghosted game: Ikerev was the first(?) cybird game I played, followed very very closely by ikesen. I don't see a lot of stuff for them naturally on my dash, and bluntly ikerev just could not hold my attention especially after I lost my data and got cockblocked by shitty gacha pulls, but I hardcore simped for these dudes when I played. Well, jonah did get pushed to the bottom of that tier fairly quickly, but Shingen is still #1 there. Anju (oc) was originally made for him, and I suspect that when his...eternal(?) is released in eng, I'll be feral for a little bit and then go back to gil simping.
No opinion really: I just.....shrug. They're neither bad nor good. These are characters who I was either SUPER excited for and then sorely disappointed, characters I haven't felt drawn to, or characters I just....never....felt anything towards...even after reading their route... I'm assuming they're just not my type and that's why they're here.
No: I hold negative opinions due to XYZ personal reason. Or their vibes are just rancid to me. I don't care if others like them or not, I don't judge others for liking them.
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I'm having so many thoughts and feelings about Obey Me! no longer receiving updates. I'm hoping it's kind of like what happened with another otome I used to play, Mystic Messenger and even if it doesn't get any updates it continues to be playable for the foreseeable future.
On another note since my own focus will probably shift to fan content for awhile, at least until I get my cards levelled up enough to catch up to the main story, I wanted to ask if you have any advice for other fanfic authors? I keep getting too nervous to post any headcanons or other fanfic content so I suppose I'm curious how you mange to.
-🦇🪐
I do think that it will continue to be playable for at least a little while. It didn't sound like they were going to shut down the apps entirely, but rather just stop updating them with new content. It's certainly been an unexpected turn of events for us, but it seems they've been planning it for a while.
Ohhh I love talking about writing related and fic posting stuff~
I think there are some important things you have to remember. The first is that writing fic should be something you do for fun. Absolutely you want to share it with the community and get notes and comments. But while you're writing it, you should be more focused on having fun doing the writing itself. A lot of people tell me they get nervous while they're writing and I'm like it's because you're still too in your head about sharing it.
Approach every fic as if you have no intention of sharing it. This is a mind game I play with myself. Of course I'm gonna post it, I almost always do. (Though there have been times when I was like nahhh this can just sit on my computer forever. Usually because it became too personal lol.) But the idea is that you always have a choice not to post it if you don't want to. This is how I write everything. I know deep down that I want to share it, but the sharing and exposure is something that will happen in the future. And I can always change my mind after it's written.
And no matter what, there will always be people in the fandom who want to read anything that you write. And they will give you likes and reblogs and sometimes tags and comments. I have never gotten a mean or angry comment on anything I've posted here.
When you actually post, you'll probably still be nervous and that's okay. Just take a deep breath, post your fic, and then go do something else for a while. You can do it right before going to bed like I used to or you can go to work or maybe play a video game, whatever, just don't sit there and think about it or like... check for notes constantly.
And remember that the first time is always the hardest! Exposure therapy is truly the answer to all such things. The more you do it, the easier it will become. Your writing deserves to be seen and I know there are people who will read it and love it. You can do it! I believe in you!
#well anyway that's just some of the stuff that works for me!#I hope it helps!#obey me#🦇🪐 anon#misc answers
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well, to indulge myself i'm writing this post to ramble and share a bit of my Gahan barbarian!au. it's going to be a bit of a long post i think, we'll see.
i saw noel's post about their gladiator!yohan & prince!gaon (check it here!) and it makes me miss writing the arranged marriage barbarian!au i have, it only has what.. 3 or 4 chapters I think. you can read it here.
i've always been fascinated by the visuals of medieval, historical, period era. even post apocalyptic future settings like Horizon Zero games franchise.
i think i started au bcs i've played too much Assassin's Creed Valhalla— i haven't finished it yet, too preoccupied with Monster Hunter World— but i have sketched my female Eivor several times in my sketchbook. this was when i'm curious and interested enough to draw human but haven't fully grasped the gesture, anatomy, shapes and all. i usually draw what i take interest on and it helps me tremendously, to keep on learning and push through my frustrations.
and of course.. my Gahan brainrot picked it up. hence the barbarian!au for TDJ born
i have sketches of Gahan in this au, i think i've shared them here too but i'll re-share here. it doesn't catch many eyes, i admit it's a bit of a bummer but I like the idea anyway. I used to imagined them before I went to sleep, now it's idol/celeb!gaon x mysterious husband!yohan that's occupying my mind. but anyways! here are the sketches.
1st sketch is me trying to see his body proportion in viking/barbarian attire. the upper left sketch was me wanting to see modern Yohan stripping off his clothes ig haha.. anyways, between Gaon/Jinyoung and Yohan/Jisung, it's VERY difficult to nail down his face. less lines doesn't resembles him at all and add some more lines he looks too realistic to my simplified version of Gaon/Jinyoung. it was hard trying to find the balance for these characters to be in the same picture and look like they belong in the same style. i want to do Yohan/Jisung's pretty face justice but i still struggled in this sketches. i think this was 2021? 2022?
2nd sketch— his long protruding neck lmao i haven't fully grasped how a person can pose naturally but it came out as if he has turtle neck syndrome going on. well done Yohan! you are a turtle apparently according to my hand. all jokes aside, this was me attempting to paint his face bcs i never really attempted to paint gahan. i doodled and sketched more than i paint/rendering and i'm on my way to learn more of rendering daily if possible, alongside with my daily sketches. you can also see i've tried to give some color to his attire and some medallion or such. do you see a braid there? i will get there, the braid is something significant in this story ;)
3rd sketch is basically me planning out his character design as a barbarian/viking chief. you can see bits of references cuts here and there, took me quite some time bcs i just started to really try my hands on concept character design properly— i love cloaks and capes and vikings has exactly just that, and the winter times are especially my favorite type of attire on them so i thought why not give Yohan polar bear fur as his official formal attire while still flaunting his wonderful body to the world be it summer or winter lmao. here's where you know it's fantasy. i'm sure people back then drink ales and what not to keep their body warm so they can go bare-chested in winter even but i'm sure the day after that they will regret it. but i make Yohan and his clan to have special abilities for living in cold places. doesn't mean i don't make them wear winter attire but this is only bcs i want him to be bare-chested xD the one I post here was before i dabble on the sketch a bit more. hopefully one day i can share it again with more updates for this au.
now.. onto Gaon's sketches.
he's a Prince in this story. his parents, the King and the Queen, arranged a marriage for him for political reasons. but they have special reasons as to why they pick Yohan, aside from political purposes, to be their son's betrothed and gave him away to Yohan's barbarian clan.
1st sketch (ignore the upper left, that's Jinyoung from his other drama). i want to see him in medium and long hair length. there's a purpose to this. he has his canon Gaon hairstyle when he was the Prince in the palace. but with time and some adjustments living with Yohan and his barbarian clan rubs off on him. perhaps it's due to that, or he's grown tired to cut it off again and again (he has no one to groom him properly now unlike in the palace), practical reason is to maintain heat around his neck while in winter, or it's his idea of adapting and blending in with the enemy. you can't blame him for being wary. he's whisked away from his comfort place and home and married off to a fearsome and famous barbarian on the land at that time, almost willingly got raped by Yohan on 1st chapter (yes, you read that right). other reasons why he grows his hair, as i mentioned the culture rubs off on him, is something to do with the hair braiding too. and personal reason is that i want to see pretty Gaon in long hair lol
2nd sketch on the left was him on early days on Yohan's fur beddings. the right was him perhaps laughing out loud by some surprising and amusing thing Yohan said after living with him for some months, you can see the different hair length there. gosh he looks unalive in here lol idk why.. my sketches were still rigid here
3rd sketch is them after establishing a genuine intimate relationship and Yohan has to be away to fend off some unexpected visitors. unfortunately it cost Yohan some of his men's lives. but he made it back to his clan and his betrothed. i make it as if Gaon was anxious waiting for him and one of the barbarian shouted for Yohan's arrival and he ran immediately. lunged at Yohan perhaps, the barbarian Chief managed to catch him but didn't quite have the strength to carry them both upright as the weariness sinks into him post battle & adrenaline wearing off of him. he's home now, in Gaon's arms.
now.. the hair braiding.
barbarians/viking has long hair and braids on their hair. styled cascading down or up into a pony tail or a mohawk and such. idk if this is historically correct but i'm winging most of this anyway but the idea of braids in this story is that it's significant to lovers. it's a mark between special intimate relationship (like lovers, spouses, soulmates). one can have a braid or braid their lover's hair should they wish to, it's very intimate and special for them. jeweleries might have certain status symbol for them and their ranks but I also prefer these barbarians have something simple to symbolize their intimacy. something that can get overlooked but enough for their significant other to know (and some people) what it means.
I like the idea of Yohan having accessories for his attire but his hair is clean from braids. clearly it's saying something if you've read this far and seeing my sketches for their different stages of relationship. over the years of them finally developing feelings and genuinely established a relationship, despite already being married an Gaon almost got raped by Yohan, they are lovers.
yet Yohan never really initiates anything about him wanting to have braid(s) or braiding Gaon's hair. he might have explained about what braids are to Gaon when the bambi was curious or off-handedly commented something about it. Gaon really finds out the real meaning from Yohan's ppl and he wonders why Yohan never asks or wants braids from him. then he realizes Yohan has always been respectful to him, even years after that night he almost raped him. always keeping healthy distance, outside of their sex and other intimate physical affections, he usually waits until Gaon ask first regarding intimate things. not that he never initiates things, he figures something as serius and committed as this is something Gaon wants to have an option to bail out from. they were arranged to have marriage for political reasons after all, Gaon has the freedom to not have feelings for him as long as he stays within the wedding pact rules Yohan make with the King & the Queen ( for Gaon's sake too). He never expects to have feelings for the Prince and he always keeps the option of Gaon falling out of love of him one day. it is only fair, he thinks.
but then Gaon asks him if he wants Gaon to braid his hair. the Prince never ceases to make him falter. it still shocks and amuses him, to have someone have this much effect on him. even with nervousness and blushing state Gaon is in now after uttering those words.. Yohan wonders what he has done to have this kind of luxury to have someone this precious in his arms.
and if his people noticed a single braid just near the back of his neck when wind swept his hair or if he pulls his hair into a ponytail on hot summer days? they will all grin smugly.. Yohan likes to keep it a bit hidden from view mainly bcs it's practical and he doesn't want ppl to accidentally graze it off when he's having friendly wrestle matches or axe practices. or even having people cut it off when he's at war. he doesn't hide it per se, it's visible when it's visible. Gaon smiles sweetly and adoringly when he finds this out bcs to him, it feels as if Yohan is unconsciously protecting it. protecting their relationship, protecting Gaon.
and if Gaon walks out of Yohan's tent, that days when he asks if he can braid Yohan's hair, with a braid or several on his hair? visible to everyone? the people cheer and roar in celebration. they throw a huge feast and toast to their relationship, congratulating the power couple. wishing the gods to give these two their blessings and to protect them. they're finally able to see their Chief have a partner that is equal to him. it's a memorable day
but if you think this story doesn't come with heavy angst, tears, pain and betrayal.. well think again ;))
i will stop here. thankyou for reading! i hope i can pick up this au again in my drawings & writings
#artists on tumblr#the devil judge#digital art#fris#fr wiwiw#digital illustration#gahan#kim gaon#kang yohan#fanart#tdj#the fawn and the chief#arranged marriage#i miss this au#i want to indulge myself more in this au again#but i have to focus on my drawings & commissions for now#i will come back to this au
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PER THE "NIGHT SKY" POST--
Hi there. My name is Seta LeCarpetron Flow, known shitposter for the hit 2020 video game Cyberpunk 2077 and generally-unwilling Tumblr funnyguy. If you've stumbled upon this post, congratulations! That means you've seen my shitpost about advertising in the night sky and decided to check out my blog, which eventually led you here. Here's a list of commonly asked questions I see about my shitpost that I thought I'd compile here for your enjoyment.
"Why did you do this?" -- this was a shitpost that escaped containment very quickly and with absolutely no warning.
"Never played the game, can you explain the joke to me?"-- In Night City, the game's setting, holographic advertisements are placed on the top of skyscrapers and scroll upwards for the citizens to look at. The response down below from "@/johnnysilverhandofficial" is a reference to the fact that in the game's canon, main character Johnny Silverhand commits an act of terrorism by blowing up the largest skyscraper in the city. It's a whole thing. The account tweeting, "@/NightCityWire", is the name of the YouTube show where devs of the game would give updates on its progress back when it was still being developed. 'Twitter for Holo' on the bottom is a reference to the fact that in the game, the characters use Holos to communication rather than cellphones.
"Why did you think this would be funny?"-- *'I don't know' noise*, I thought this was gonna hit like, 200 notes at most. The Cyberpunk fandom isn't that big.
"Is it based on something?"-- It's based on this exchange on Twitter that happened a couple of years ago, with a few copy edits. I usually credit inspirations and templates in my posts but again, did not think this post was going to blow up as much as it did.
"What even is the purpose of this blog?"-- CYPK2077 shitposting, generally. Occasionally writing, VP, whinging about lore, and complaining that I can't take photos on PC. The works.
"Are you a roleplay blog?"-- I have no fucking idea why people think this is a roleplay blog. This hardly qualifies as a roleplay shitpost. I don't roleplay. Stop telling people that I'm a roleplay blog in the tags, it's really goddamn annoying.
"Alright, so what's you're biggest issue, then?"-- My biggest issue is that people keep taking this post at face value without understanding the context. That's fine, I get it, the changes I made are not very noticeable and I probably edited it a bit too much, but I need to ensure people that this is a JOKE. It is not REAL. I cannot stress enough that this is a shitpost that got wildly out of hand and it's a little depressing that the state of the world is so whack that people look at this, go "yeah, that's real" and reblog it.
"Why are you making THIS post?"-- Because I've had to read thousands of tags on this post day in and day out lamenting the fall of society and our world's headlong rush towards capitalistic annihilation, and frankly, it kinda wears on me after a while. If I can get at least some person to look at this post and be like "Oh, okay, I get it now" before they reblog it at face value, then I'll consider this worth it in my eyes.
"You know this is kind of passive-aggressive, right?"-- yes, yes it is. But when you've had 27,000 people reblog the stupid shitpost you made in 20 minutes because you were bored at work and seen 95% of them take it out of context and/or make dumb assumptions about you based on it, you'd probably be a little Pass-Agro too.
Thank you for reading my FAQ on this blog's most popular shitpost. Never thought the day would come where I'd need to make this, but here we are.
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Mirroring in Dialogue: Why Don't Writers Do It?
A/N: This is a contemplative post. I had this thought come to me at random so I'm dishing it out here. It's not necessarily neat, so I appreciate the read. Feel free to give your two cents on this in the comments! - 🐝
Okay, so, I'm starting this post with a quick and funny anecdote; the one that inspired writing this.
A woman was next to me on the treadmill today, and while I don't pay attention to what others are doing (to be respectful and also to better focus on what I'm doing), I noticed every tiny movement I made, she mirrored.
I'd adjust my ponytail, and two seconds later, she's touching her hair. I'd pull my pants up, and she'd play with the hem of hers, making sure it was in place still.
This led me to remember sth I heard about in the TV show The Mentalist, and later read up on, namely mirroring.
I won't bore you with a long definition of what it is, so here's the short version: when humans interact, they may unconsciously mirror the movements, facial expressions, and body language of the other person.
It's the reason people claim 'if smb yawns or sneezes, you do, too' :D
With the exception of when high-functioning psychopaths and sociopaths do it, mirroring is actually kinda fun.
When I'm talking to smb I don't particularly enjoy conversing with, for instance, I'll start to touch my neck or eyebrows every few seconds and wait to see when they'll mirror the gesture. It's a neat game to play to pass the time wasted on talking to them lol.
But I digress. The main idea of this post is this: Why don't writers (us) do this when writing dialogue?
Certain genres have to be as close to reality as possible...and yet, mirroring is hardly present in dialogue. I've never seen one character touch their neck nervously and the other do the same. Usually, if both characters are nervous in this context, the other person will be doing sth else (tapping their fingers or shaking their leg, for ex.)
In my writing, for example, two characters can be smiling, but it's not necessarily mirroring, it's just that...the context allows for them both to be smiling.
As for any other kind of nonverbal expression, I don't ever recall having two characters mirror each other's body language/gestures...etc. just for the sake of the work being as realistic as possible.
Which brings me back to the why. My theory? Simple; it boils down to the 'willing suspension of disbelief'.
Frankly, I have never had a work of art ruined for me just because 'mirroring' wasn't a part of it :D
While it's a neat observation (at least I think so), it doesn't mean the paradigm has shifted. Mirroring isn't going to become a 'literary device or element' that writers have to suddenly keep in mind, like Metaphors or Conflict.
The way I see it? We, writers, can use mirroring to our advantage when we want to. A few examples include:
A character notices that their crush is mirroring their movements. Perhaps they like them too? Do they? Or is it just normal? >.<
Your character is a psychologist/or has knowledge of mirroring (like in the case of The Mentalist) and makes a point to show others/note that someone is/isn't mirroring
A character that knows of mirroring and uses it to pass the time when talking to someone they dislike/a person that won't stop talking...etc. (like yours truly does :D)
A manipulative character that uses mirroring to get their victims to do what they want and control them better.
Got more ideas? Shoot them in the comments, I'd love to hear them!
If you stuck around this far, you're a real one; thank you! 💐
A/N: Can't stress this enough, but please, please, please, if you have sth to add or a takeaway from this, I'd love to read it! I love to learn, and I believe everyone has sth to offer, so go ahead and don't be shy lol Love, B 🐝
#writeblr#writing#writblr#writers#writers on tumblr#writer things#writerscommunity#writer#on writing#creative writing#writing dialogue#blurb#random thoughts#random though of the day#mirroring#realisticwriting#contemplativewriting#contemplative
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Starting (Over?)
First off, Yippeeee.. Here's the First Post!!
It's 2024 and like the previous years, a lot of what I initially planned for myself did not push through. I started the year with a bunch of goals and stuff that I thought I was gonna be able to get up and going and start making progress with throughout the year, but..
Life happens. About around late February or March, I could already feel my mental health start to decline again little by little; the most notable sign for me is usually the intense time blindness and when the days start melting together and I can't tell how much time has passed anymore. Another thing would be the intense bedrot, where if I wasn't working or doing something around the house, I would just spend all my free time in bed or asleep. I didn't even want to do things like draw or play games anymore. It got worse by April where it hit the hardest and I had a bad relapse that took some time to recover from.
Then around the last week of April, I decided: I'm Tired. I'm tired of being stuck in bed feeling sad and miserable. I'm tired of being stuck where I am because of my fear of doing things because I'm already thinking of the many ways it could fail and go south.
So, what did I do? I took the first few steps out of my comfort zone: I started building a new me; making a new persona and actually write down things that I wanted to do and planned them out. I was trying to envision and dream about things I was looking forward to doing again. I made new accounts, I looked for software alternatives that were easily accessible for me and my current setup and I did a lot of research for things I didn't know how to do yet.
And now voila! ✨
Here's one of the few things I decided to finally do: Create a blog where I could document and talk about things that I learn on this (sort of) new journey or just yap about.
I'm not new to social media or the internet, I've been through those things for years at this point, but the thing that'll be new(ish?) for me is to actually document and post about things. See, I have a tendency to save or make stuff, but I never really share them with anyone but myself and a few close friends. I did it a while back around pandemic but then I felt too pressured to continue so I deleted a bunch of things from a lot of my socials.
No more of that. ❌
I was always thinking "eh, this isn't really worth posting anyway.." so I never posted anything. My IRL accounts are pretty much empty except for shared content from other people, never my own.
So, here's to starting over and trying again. ✨
I have a vague idea of the things I want to happen, and I'm doing my best right now planning everything out despite all the roadblocks!
I'm both really excited and really nervous but I'll do my best to have fun on this journey. ❣️
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20 questions for fic writers!
Thank you so much for tagging me @orange-peony, these things are always so fun to do!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I have 40 works right now.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
624,677, which is more than I thought I had (probably due to the fact 1/6th of them were posted during the past 5 months or so)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I only really write for Harry Potter, though I do like to play in next-gen, marauder and golden-trio era so there's a little variation there.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Blue Roses and Other Impossible Things Drarry, 40k, E To Be Out of Your Own (and consumed by another) Drarry, 18k, E Though My Mind Could Think (I still was a mad man) Drarry, 87k, E Things Unknown but Longed for Still Drarry, 30k, E Use My Last Breath (to say I love you), Harry/Charlie, 6k, E
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do. I love talking about fics in general, but especially the ones I write. I love reading theories or thoughts people had while reading, and responding to those. And also, comments make me so happy and I want to show that to the person who commented because I know it can take a lot of energy and mental work to comment at all.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I actually think I have to list more than one, because I have three that all end kind of terribly.
A Long Line of Fine Rarry 2k There is a First Time for Dying Scorbus, 1.5K Give Me a Memory Drarry, 2.5k
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably all the rest of them.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Yeah, sometimes.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeah, I think like 35 of the 40 fics are rated E for smut. I like to write all kinds tbh. Like, super angsty, kinky, romantic, longing etc. I think it's the feelings and emotions that makes it fun for me, but they don't really have to be all positive.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I tried once years and years ago to write a supernatural and Hunger Games crossover, but I never finished it.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I had one reposted on Instagram once, but nothing else that I know of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yeah, a couple.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I don't think I'd be any good at it tbh, I can never stick to an outline.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
I think maybe Drarry, but that might be because there are SO many great fics written for it. But I also adore rarry and prongsfoot, and I think I love them just as much – I just read them less because there are fewer fics.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
There are a lot tbh, but the one I'm always angry about not being able to finish is a fic I started a loong about Muggles finding out about magic and inventing technology to supress it, and Draco and Harry working to get Teddy out of England.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think (or at least hope) it's putting words to feelings and emotions. I tend to struggle to name or describe my own feelings so I usually explore that a fair bit in fics.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm pretty sure I'm ace so I struggle a lot with writing my characters as feeling physical attraction. I think I can do the emotions and physical bits, but yeah, the whole attraction thing is difficult. And also describing actions. I'll have a character stand up to do something and then completely forget I did it, so they'll be sitting down in the next line. Or they'll just be talking with zero description of what they're doing.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I'm not sure I have any. I never have myself, but I'm not really opposed as much as I've never had a need.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter. I think it was a hinny fic sometime between the fifth and sixth book came out. At the time I had no idea what fanfiction or shipping was at all, and it never left the notebook I wrote it in.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
I think my favourites changes every time I try to pick one, but right now it's these:
Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold) queerplatonic darry, 19.5k
Though My Mind Could Think (I still was a mad man) Drarry, 87k
Four Gallons of Oblivious Rarry, 18k
I'll tag @stargazing-enby, @drarryruinedme7, @acnelli @maesterchill @pineau-noir and @shealwaysreads if you want to do it (and haven't already). And anyone else who'd like to do this!
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1, 12, 22, and 35 for the fic asks?
1.) Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?
I'm much more likely to daydream a lot before I start writing. Let my brain percolate on the idea for a while so it can take the form I like best. But sometimes I am possessed by the idea and must write it immediately. Which is how I ended up with many of my crack fics. Those are more likely to be 'struck with inspiration, must write them now' types fics. The more serious ones I probably daydreamed a bout a lot.
12.) Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?
I think I answered this one the last time I did this game, but it's been long enough I'm gonna answer again.
So sometimes I'll outline fics. Vaguer outlines tend to help more than stricter ones as I tend to get the idea written down in a detailed outline form and then it's like I've restricted myself too much and can't write at all past that. Sometimes it does help keep me on track... but mostly I just wing it without the outline.
That said, outlines are very useful for when i have an amazing plot idea but don't want to admit I'm not gonna use it in its current form. Once I have the outline down, I can return to it later and reshape it into something that's actually usable. I've gotten fics like The City on the Hill and Just Your Average (Medical) Emergency that way.
The former of those two strayed a looot from the original idea. But at the same time still had a lot of the original concept still in there too. Where as the latter of those was actually pretty close with what I'd wanted from the start, but I was trying to force it to fit with something else - when I broke that original idea in two, I wound up with two fics that worked really well on their own. (The other being Wave Goodbye (To Plausible Deniability) ) Sometimes I just kind of have to recognize that what I thought was one fic idea is actually several.
22.) Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?
I'll usually start with giving the WiP some kind of name. Not necessarily a title, but just something that represents the main idea to me.
The City on the Hill was originally a WiP called Past Imperfect, which may have worked well when it was still a part of a larger arc about the Master, but when I cut out the Master entirely and reframed it to be about Ianto, the title becoming a reference to Ianto's strange dreams fit much better.
Sometimes I'll name a fic something as a placeholder and just stick with it when it's time to post the fic. Date Night was one of those. It was a generic name, but very too the point and I certainly couldn't think of anything that fit better.
Other times I'll think the title is one thing until the last minute, when I realize something else fits so much better. I don't remember what the working title for One Last Call for Alcohol was, but I do remember I didn't much like it. I ended up taking the final title from the lyrics of "Closing Time" by Semisonic. A bit over played on the radio at one point, but a song I've always liked nonetheless. So much so I used it's lyrics to title another fic as well, Every New Beginning (Comes from Some other Beginning's End). That one I chose the name early on, since it fit the mood of the fic as well as the theme.
35.) What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?
I don't know that I can pick just one. Maybe I can at least pick a favorite type of fic to write?
I certainly do like writing fics of the fix fic variety. Canon wants to hand me lemons? Then I'm gonna burn it's house down. With the lemons. (Let's get some Portal 2 love, shall we?)
But then again, I love just What If type AUs in general. What if Iris or Eddie or Cisco was the Flash? What if Yuri Lowell never saved the world? What if squirrels invaded STAR Labs? What if Finn inspired a Stormtrooper rebellion?
Sometimes saying 'what if' is a fix fic. Sometimes it's just weird. Sometimes it's turning canon upside down and ransacking it's pockets for lint. So, yeah, I think my favorite type of fic that I write is definitely the AUs.
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i swear every time i get into a game that has an actual community it'll feel like i just woke up on mars because i usually dig really deep into a game's lore, history, trivia, unused content, etc. and THEN i'll find stuff from the community and i don't even mean for that to happen it just works that way and it always plays out the exact same way without fail besides for when there is no community
like, a week or two ago i remembered OFF exists, watched a whole playthrough of it, have been listening to it's OST an unhealthy amount (I'm doing it right now, Unreasonable Behavior is so good), i go onto tumblr, first OFF post i see once i add it's tag to my feed is someone's art for an AU where all the characters all like hang out at a cafe together or something and everything is chill, which is like the antithesis of everything i had just experienced related to the game and i couldn't help but laugh in confusion once i realized what i was looking at
i go in the discord server for iconoclasts after obsessing over the game for like a year and annoying the fuck out of my friends about it, literally the only fanmade character i have seen is a chemico contra member who's also a phlebotomist, i had to google what a phlebotomist is and like... i didn't look into their lore by ctrl-f-ing or whatever so i'm probably missing something, but how do you come to this conclusion (actually i think i know, they mentioned they actually became one at some point after making this character which is really funny actually)
i start watching videos about pikmin after finally beginning to slowly come off one of the most intense hyperfixations i've had in my entire life to the point i had played through all 5 games in the series and dedicated weeks and entire days to trying to figure out the lore before giving up because it's nintendo lol and spending a roughly equal amount of time trying to come up with intentionally terrible ideas for more games in the series only to accidentally get WAY too into it (see my alph wraith post lol), i am greeted with Fiddlebert, and a later a dub of an AU where the player character is actually a wraith and is hiding it from the rest of the rescue corps (this post is still probably one of the funniest jokes i've ever seen) and the entire thing scarily resembles the type of shit i'd write if i was given this premise to work with down to the mention of an innocent child being consumed that's first brought up with a doodle of them saying "Oh boy I sure do hope being alive!" while holding The Goo THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I TREAT HORRIBLE EVENTS IN MY STORIES WHEN I'M TALKING ABOUT THEM
i look at the tag for ultrakill on tumblr and feel like i just got sent to hell myself with the punishment of being stuck in a permanent state of confusion due to the sheer contrast to the source material all the fanart has, same goes for most of the posts about it in general actually, i go in expecting like blood & violence and instead i'm greeted with gabriel & v1 making out. drawn by 50 different users. (i don't even need to link anything here just check #ultrakill you'll see)
and this isn't even touching on all of the ships i've seen that are utterly incomprehensible to me because. like. why magolor and the snowman enemy? why kingsly and puddle??? i thought alph didn't like louie? wait also what do you mean at least two people's headcanon is that louie is trans? (ok i couldn't re-find some of the things in this paragraph and i'm too tired to conduct an in-depth search but you could probably find it if you looked)
i'm not hating on anything i brought up here it's just a bunch of funny examples i think about a lot now that i've seen them, you guys go do whatever you want even if i don't get it go have fun lol, i just love the feeling of pure confusion when i walk into the room and get punched in the face with a complete subversion of my expectations because it feels like i'm missing SO MUCH CONTEXT and i never get used to it i love it i love the internet
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So I Completed The GOG Survey, And It Made Me Thoughtful... (a.k.a. Artist's Rant)
... And everybody knows that I become scary when I'm thoughtful, because hello yet another one wall of text 😎 But if you're here, it means you love 'em. Otherwise you would've never come over.
Perhaps, I've already mentioned that before somewhere around here, or maybe not (Frosty does not remember absolutely every single post she writes), that the primary purpose of playing videogames for me is to draw inspirations for my own creative stuffs. I really wish I could signify that in the survey, but alas, I did not have an opportunity to do so, for there was no extra "other" field to fill out. This way, the absolutely biggest factor that drives me to play videogames had to be left out from the survey. And this is very sad, because I would really love to share that. This is not a secret to anyone that I'm very much into the development of my graphic novel right now, to the point that I sacrifice some other activities or aspects of other creative works I really enjoyed earlier (for example, as the pinned message says, I virtually stopped working on greeting cards designs, and I hardly ever do totally random artworks anymore - all for the sake of fetching out a bit more time for myself to further invest into "Time & Again", for that is my priority... and... I stopped assembling papercraft models in my leisure time as well). I have my ups and downs working on "Time & Again", too, so it does not always go smooth as I expected. Sometimes my creative spark needs a push - a thoughtful or an emotional one, or a little of both. That's especially when the videogames come into play for me. Depending on my choice of a game to play, what kind of inspiration I'm seeking, it might be incredibly impactful - sometimes even empowering! I most certainly see videogames as a form of art, there's no denial. An interactive form of art that is - and I treasure that way more than movies that usually require zero involvement from the viewer when it comes down to the story itself. (but overall, my superhuman-proportioned cringe towards movies is a whole another topic, so we'll keep that outside this post for now) I've been playing videogames since childhood - back in the day I used to have a NES/Famicom console, but soon I became a PC gamer. I truly believe that was one of the factors that contributed to my creativity and endless curiosity in visual arts, and perhaps also something that turned me into a thinking person. And by the way, I learnt a lot of interesting stuff about the world through playing videogames, heheheh!
While, perhaps, being purely a form of entertainment to some people (and I don't deny that by any means), I think over the years, with the development in the industry, video games have evolved into something more nowadays, something that can be taken more serious. Art always contains a certain message. Videogames do contain artistic messages, too. Since my priorities have been shifting ever since I started working on "Time & Again", I often think about all of that. My paradigm has cracked and now rearranges itself in a most peculiar way. In fact, I perceive videogames as a form of art more than anything else now. Because this is what it is to me. And I draw inspirations for my own projects from the other people's art. It's really that simple. Art is an experience. I want to experience art - including videogames, for this is one of my favourite forms of art - to feed myself emotion to process and thought to ponder on, that could potentially lead me to the expansion of my own artistic horizons. I think this is truly magical. People's creations inspiring other people's creations is quite possibly worth living for. This way we share our experiences and pass them on to the others. I'd say this is very precious. I could talk about this stuff for hours and hours, but I will stop here, for there's something else.
There is another one interesting point that I wanted to reflect on after completing the survey, and during the last couple years - and the last year especially - it has become fairly important to me. I am incredibly disappointed with the fact that buying a PDF artbook for a game without owning the game itself is not even an option on any of the videogame stores. That is frustrating, and honestly - it doesn't make any sense. The reason is that the artbooks are usually distributed as DLCs for the games. Logically, DLCs DO indeed require the base game, for the additional content usually is something that you can use within the game, such as an extra level, or a skin, or a weapon, etc. But artbooks are neither of those. Most of the artbooks are just separate PDF documents you can read on your desktop computer or a mobile device... and they most certainly do NOT require a base game to be owned. (the only exception to that I've seen so far was the artbook for Atomic Heart that was actually incorporated onto the game and was accessible through the in-game menu. That is, I must admit, an excellent way to prevent people from just "redistributing" (e.g. just a sophisticated word for STEALING, cough cough) the PDFs illegally in the internet - and oh boy, let me tell you, people really love doing that!😅) So why not make them purchasable separately, in case if the user wants to support the artist, but does not necessarily want to play the game (for whatever reason they have - it doesn't matter)? 😁 I was fairly disappointed when I discovered on GOG that I could not buy a Yooka-Laylee comic (that was discounted at the time, and I've been specifically waiting for it be get discounted for a long time) because I didn't have the game on my account on GOG... sadly, I actually do own the game - but on Epic only. I usually prefer to support GOG with the idea of DRM-free content, but that time it just didn't work out for me. So I ended up buying it from Epic anyway. But that's for the game I actually owned. There are plenty of other games that I don't think I will be able to play for different reasons, so I don't wanna buy them - but I sure DO wanna buy the artbooks, to support the artists (and developers, too). But I can't. Because I have to own the game first. The game that I might never play anyway. 🤷♀️ Working on my graphic novel sure changed my understanding of the value of art a lot, and also my views on what's important and how my works impact the others, including the fellow artists. Starting last year, I found out that the presence - or absence - of an artbook as a bonus content was one of the main deciding factors for me if I really wanted to buy a game or not. Majority of my last videogame purchases had artbooks included, usually with deluxe editions. It means a lot to me as an artist - aside from simply appreciating the art in those artbooks itself - because I relate quite well and I understand the amount of time and work put into the game development AND development of all the visual materials for the games, breathing life into something that your mind have created and materializing it through the means of pen and paper and/or digitally. And let me tell you: it's not easy at all. One might say that I'm going a bit too hardcore on this whole topic, turning it into some great issue of sorts, etc. But it is what it is. This is what's important to me, and I want to uphold the values.
A shellfish request of mine: I would've really appreciated the videogame services to allow me to search specifically for the games with artbooks as DLCs 😁 And THEN allow me to buy the PDF artboooks separately, pls 😤 That would make me very happy.
I suppose, that would be enough for today's random post on the topics that are very important to me. So I bid you farewell for now and go back to working on my story about crazy Lothar. 🙌
UPD (Oct 2024): I have realized a bit later and forgot to update the post. Shortly after I wrote that post, I have discovered that GOG actually DOES allow you to browse through the games that include artbooks! And that makes me sooooooo happy, you cannot even imagine! It's always small things that make us happy 😉 Ever since I have made that discovery, I've been often browsing GOG sales by the "artbook" tag. Now I'm just waiting for everyone to allow people to buy the artbooks without owning the games 😁
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Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(
i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖
Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3
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I'm gonna post a writing thing that came up in my mind randomly as i was playing Stardew Valley Expanded. Context: I internally RP as any give OC per file of Stardew Valley. This one is Mort's file--Incident Farm. I've gone further in it than in any before, in a combination of Expanded adding a certain character as marriageable (Lance), and the Ginger Island expansion to the main game existing. Keeps things interesting.
So, Mort's been in the valley a long time. 6 years in game I think! Idk. Over 200 hours. I was just playing, talking to Mort's husband Lance, as one does, when--well, the beginning of the following appeared. You see, Mort only 'speaks' in emojis, due to his strong magical ability allowing him to do so. Well he actually spoke in my brain--well, here's what I wrote down at the moment:
Lance: “I don’t know anyone who works as hard as you do. <3”
Mort: (actually speaking) “If I don’t then the horrors—”
Mort: stops talking and dialup noises while in the background you hear Lance saying
“Horrors? What horrors? Mort? My love? What horrors?”
Finally, Mort snaps out of it with a “?”
“You said something about Horrors, my love. That if you don’t work hard then they’ll…do something.”
Mort, in emoji language again, knowing that if anyone would believe him, it would be Lance:
(I actually don’t know what the horrors are or why. This scene just appeared with that quote.)
So, further expanded, here's this. I may never do anything more with it because Stardew Internal RP is just me playing with dolls, not meant to be expanded to story, and I don't intend to.
(Lore, I guess)
Mort walked up to Lance, like ever morning, to speak with him before they started their days. Well, Lance spoke, Mort had his own ‘language’ he used with everyone.
Lance smiled. “Spring time is nice after a long winter.”
Mort responded to the affirmative, a smiling emoji coming from his mouth.
Lance sighed. “This is the first spring I’ve been with you on this farm. And I have to say, I have never met anyone who works as hard as you do, I wish that you’d take a break sometimes.”
Mort smiled, but for the first time since he’d been in the valley, words came from his mouth, and unwanted—a thought he intended to think, and though he cut it off midway through, he said, “If I don’t, then the horrors—”
Mort went silent immediately, putting on a fake smile, about to turn away, but Lance asked, of course:
“Horrors? What horrors?” Mort shook his head. “Mort, my love. What horrors?”
The look of worry on Lance’s face was overwhelming, and honestly, Mort knew that if anyone in this world would believe him, would understand, it would be Lance…
But instead, he emitted a question mark, to pretend not to know.
Lance didn’t back down. “You said something about Horrors, my love. That if you don’t work hard—then you cut off.”
Mort looked down. He couldn’t speak it even if he wanted to. Even knowing that if anyone would ever believe him, it would be Lance—
“Mort, you were honest when you told me about Krobus, and I was so baffled. Anything you say has meaning, and to actually speak it—I’d never heard your voice, my love. Did these ‘Horrors’ take it from you?”
He took a deep breath, trying to form the best way to communicate it. He managed complicated things before, but usually when prompted. This was a prompt…maybe he could manage.
Though it wasn’t in speech, he told Lance the truth.
“The Horrors…are why I came to Stardew Valley. To escape them. If I don’t keep working, keep myself busy…then they will…find me.”
“Find you?”
Mort was anxious talking about this. He knew that surely, between himself in Lance, he could defend himself and the children, but—
He was worried they would sense this.
“You know that I had a lot of raw magical ability before coming to the valley, and that Magnus took note of it and aided me in communicating with the Junimos. I took it upon myself to salvage the Community Center in hopes of getting Joja out of here, and succeeded. Gave me something to do—busy work. After that, Ginger Island opened up, but even without, this massive farm on the beach, I had plenty to do—as much as I could ever imagine wanting to.”
“Slow down, you’re getting disjointed, my love.”
“Sorry, sorry.” He took a deep breath. It took magic even to communicate this way. “Before I came to the valley, this magic was all I used. But it was the loophole I found—if I did not speak, then the Horrors couldn’t find me—at least not physically.” He took another deep breath.
“I’ll go grab a mana potion my love.” Lance hurried off for a moment.
The Horrors. What other way could he describe them with his ability to communicate? They were…well. They did horrible things. Shorthand in his brain was ‘the Horrors’. Speaking their name was dangerous.
Lance handed him a potion. “Please, go on. I hate to strain you like this, but this is important. I didn’t know you were in danger—I would have had the First Shield on it immediately!”
“I call them the Horrors because I fear speaking of them. They were…” He took a deep breath. Paused. Focused. “They are a group of people—they captured me when I showed the tiniest inkling of magic, back in the city. They turn people into monsters…horrible things. The Horrors is all I truly knew them as, but in my escape, I did learn their name, but if they find me, they’ll��”
“My love, this is important information. I promise I will stay by your side—to the very inch if I must—to keep you safe.” Lance paused. “Write it down! They can’t hear that!”
“!” Mort nodded and rushed to the kitchen table to write down the name.
“The Order of Glass”
Lance stared at the name on the paper for a long moment. “I’ve heard of them…they’re under watch…” Lance grabbed Mort’s hand. “I know exactly what they do, and—I’m so, so sorry that you—”
Mort squeezed Lance’s hand in return. “My love, you’re the only thing that keeps me from breaking, please don’t break for me.”
Lance nodded. “Right.”
Mort took a deep breath. “I don’t know if they’ll come. I never know. But I know that if they do, I have my Return Scepter to get away now. That will buy me enough time to get to my Nexus, and from there, to the Adventurer’s Guild. I have a plan…”
“You worked so hard to save up money for that Scepter, huh?” Lance paused. “My love. I will protect you, and everything that you have here. It will not be snatched from you. I swear on it.”
#my writing#not even gonna tag it as stardew i'm really only posting it here for ease of sharing with friends
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