#I used to think that being a part of smtg like this would mean that ppl cared abt me enough to think of me that way

[bbibbirose]

heard the strangest story

[senascoop]

SENA’S FAVOURITES ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 TAG GAME

Ꮺ by @iovestuck and I might've added-edited some questions to my liking. all of these answers are genuine and not with the bias of some of them being my moots. also, extremely sorry if I didn't add you on here. most of them are nsfw so... minors please do not interact. (💌)

001. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE FANFICS?

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER — @i2sunric

i already yapped a lot when I first read her fic but this was personally really really cute to read and I loved heeseung’s and the reader’s bickering a lot.

THE PERFECT COPY — @florestalio

if this fanfic was a person I'd date them lol. this was something new and easily secured a seat in my favs.

STILL INTO YOU — @i2sunric

another one of casey’s work that I love a lot.

COULD I BE MORE OBVIOUS? — @rkvriki

this was written like a year ago and is still really good. especially the way it actually captured the “rich ceo husband” vibes.

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM — @heechwe

what were you thinking when you wrote that lexi? i couldn't find a single bad thing about the fic when i first read it and ngl it still remains as one of my fav.

FIXED COMFORT — @paarksunghoon

coming back to read this after a bad day and this never fails to bring a smile on my face even if I've already re-read this a lot of times.

002. FANFICS YOU'VE READ RECENTLY?

haven't read much lately but this has to be my list — heehoon jerking off together while thinking of the reader. part one, part two not sure if there's more parts, sharing = caring , and then this mind-blowing fic by casey, heavenly , i personally found this one cute, and then I've read this smtg about toxic situationship heeseung, then this one from mochiwonz which made me laugh, this from yuvany, reader is mean in this one but it's good, little lamb ... I have more but I can't exactly add all of them here—so if you're looking for fic recs, you should check @senascoooop

003. WHAT FANFICS DO YOU THINK SHOULD GET MORE RECOGNITION?

PUPPY ANTICS — @florestalio

I always re-read this because well... no reason-just the descriptions and the scene (though I hate angel for cutting it short...)

YOU’RE LOSING ME — @i2sunric

y'all are missing out on a lot of good stuff if you haven't read this angsty angst fic.

CORPSE BRIDE — @yuvany

start to end-just perfection.

BEWITCHED — @p4ranormaluv

to describe this fic in one word would be #wtfdidijustread? In a good way ofc. this deserves way more notes than it has right now.

TIL DEATH DO US PART — sena

TIED UP IN YOU — sena

self promo lol but I actually like these two of my works and they might as well be my best ones till now.

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS — @flwrstqr

a really fun fic to read, especially with the way both the reader and heeseung’s goal was definitely not to fall in love... but the two anyways did so.

VENOM — @gyuuberryy

the tension in this one and half way transformation of jay was just wowwww.

HORROR — @starryjake

the smut was rather really... cute alongside the ending...

666 — @simpjaes

a big fan of dark fics. and this was absolutely flawless!!

Not really a fanfic but rather sfw niki audio by @vanesycho part one, part two, part three, part four. I usually listen to these when I'm feeling down or can't fall asleep.

004. FAVOURITE AUTHORS?

all of my moots ofc lol but other than that ,

@i2sunric — all of her fics are hits and i personally really really really love them.

@florestalio — first found out about her through the fic “human or not” and I liked it from the go. and nevertheless-even if it's been a little time, I think we match the freak nonetheless.

@yuvany — she was in my favs the second i read corpse bride. then there's miss ugly duckling and her recent jay fic... absolutely amazing.

@p4ranormaluv — do I even need to have a reason for her to be here? she's really talented with the way she writes. Though I hope she's enjoying her break <3

@heechwe — every time you think someone can't get more sweet... lexi replies. even her fics are chefs kiss.

@gyuuberryy — she's my hype girl (ofc I'll add her on here and also bcz her fics are a big mwahh)

@mochiwonz — we aren't moots or anything but her works (smaus) randomly came in my for you page and i actually enjoyed a lot of them (so I'm adding her here too)

@paarksunghoon — every time a hard thought of hers comes into my for you-i know my evening's not gonna be so boring. y’all should read her fixed comfort and you plus me fic. 100% recommended.

@starryjake — another author who's also really good at making hard thoughts and fics :)

005. WHICH AUTHOR/READER DO YOU ADMIRE/ADORE THE MOST AND WHY?

all of my readers and moots ^^

but aside from them, i admire casey (i2sunric) & jazmine (p4ranormaluv) a lot and sort of started to write after reading their works <3

now I adore a lot of authors and readers but angel (florestalio) and ady (gyuuberry) have a special place in my heart. and I've actually gotten used to seeing some frequent readers which I absolutely notice and adore but the loud ones so far would be @zyvlxqht @flowerwinds (thank you so much for showing nothing other than love to me and my works) 🫶🏻💗

NOTE FROM SENA , i don't really read a lot which might explain why I don't have some more popular fics or authors in the recs. I'm also very sorry if I've forgotten someone (totally not intentional) this was really fun to make...thank you rain (iovestuck) you're another sweetie I found on blr :)

ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 tagging anyone who wants to join

[marauder-misprint]

would u write abt some angsty (mybe w a happy ending?) w remus, please? if possible maybe smtg like the bet trope, im soo down bad with bet tropes, 😔😔😔 im sorry if its a burden, and thank you for spending ur time reading this

You said "bet trope" and I said bet. So it's more fluff than angst... oops? I'll try to get more angst with Remus soon

Conducive

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

additional content

4.7k words

cw: fluff, lil angst,

“Moons, how is it that you’ve never been kissed, yet everyone calls you Casanova?” Sirius asks at dinner in the Great Hall one evening.

Remus raises his eyebrows but doesn’t look away from his plate.

“I respect women?” he offers. 

“We all respect women here. But come on, even Peter’s kissed Mary,” James adds.

Remus looks up at his friends. “I’m here for an education. Dumbledore was kind enough to let me be here; least I can do is focus. You three are distraction enough.”

“I just think you could do with some more… distractions,” Sirius says, waving his fork around as a prop to make his point. 

“If I wanted a female distraction, I’d have no issues obtaining it.”

“No issues, huh?” Peter asks. “Care to prove it?”

Remus shot him a glare. “Did you miss the part where I said if I wanted it?”

“I don’t see how you don’t want it.”

“Wormy’s got a point,” James says.

“Let me rephrase: If I needed a female distraction,” Remus says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Sure, I want it from time to time, but if anyone else found out about my furry little secret, I’d be out of here. So I’m making the most of my time.”

“No one is going to find out!” Sirius says. “Have. Some. Fun.”

“You lot found out.”

“We live with you.”

“Still. You don’t think if I got involved with someone that it would take them that long? It was hard enough lying to you. What if I start to actually like someone? It’d be impossible.”

“Then don’t like them. Just get them to like you enough to kiss them and then ditch them,” Sirius suggests, earning himself a glare from Remus.

“That just sounds cruel.”

“More cruel than you denying yourself feminine company?”

“I’m Casanova, remember? I get plenty of company.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I still think you should prove it,” Peter says. “Do what Pads suggested.”

“What?”

“Get a girl.”

“Keep her ‘round long enough to get off and then you jet. Easy ‘nough, yeah?” James clarifies for Remus, given his mildly confused look.

“No,” Remus says firmly. 

“What if we made a bet out of it?” Sirius asks, leaning forward. 

That got Remus’ attention.

“Okay, then what do I get out of it? When I win.” 

“If, and only if, you can get a girlfriend and snog the living daylights out of her, we will… uh… willingly study with you in the library for finals. We’ll be complacent participants, helping you and ourselves. As you try to drag us to do every year,” Sirius says. He pauses as the other two nod. “And if you fail, butterbeers are on you for the rest of the year.”

Remus snorts. “So if I do it, I just get company in the library and you benefit. But if I lose, I’m financially ruined?” 

“More incentive,” Peter retorts. 

“You’re on,” Remus says, offering his hand for Sirius to shake. He does. “If I wasn’t sure I could do it, I’d be asking for better terms.” 

“Wait!” James interrupts with Remus and Sirius still mid-shake. “I feel like we should pick who it has to be. Otherwise you could just ask Marlene to snog you.”

Remus makes a face. “She’s dating Dorcas, you know this.”

“No, no, he has a point,” Peter says. “Either of them would snog you if you said it was for a bet, especially if it means we,” he gestures to him, James and Sirius, “lose said bet.”

“Fine. Pick the girl. For the love of Godric, pick someone single and semi-tolerable.”

The boys scan the hall, not paying attention to house. Their eyes land on you. All three boys seemed to be in agreement before any of them voiced your name. 

“Her,” James says, pointing at you.

You were just as perpetually single as Remus, although he didn’t know what your reason for being so was. It wasn’t like boys never approached you, offering to pay for your drinks at Hogsmeade or to stand by you at the next Quidditch match, but the boys always walked away looking a bit down. You shot them down. Every single one of them.

So in the boys’ attempt to get him to prove his ability to charm a girl, they also wanted to see a miracle. From the grins on their faces, they know it’s going to be impossible.

“So you want my financial ruin?”

“I want either want butterbeer or you to get fucking laid,” Sirius says coolly. “It’s a win-win for me.”

“We said nothing about me getting laid!” Remus exclaims, panicking. “We said kiss, snog, neck, whatever you want to call it. Not laid.”

James laughs, “If you can get a snog out of her, you’re definitely getting laid.”

“I hate that I shook on this already,” Remus groans. He knows he has no way out of this now. 

---

You are blissfully unaware of the bet the Marauders have going. You have no reason to think that you are of any concern to them, besides that Remus now occasionally says hello to you in passing. If anything, it feels like the other three are purposefully avoiding you, not that that matters to you. It’s preferable that way. You had always found Remus to be the most tolerable of them, but that didn’t mean you were friends or spoke to him all that often. Right now, it meant that you said hi back to him.

You are studying in the library when Remus comes up and asks if you’d mind if he shared a table with you. There are other tables available, but you agree. You are struggling with your Transfiguration essay and if it comes to it, you’re almost positive you could ask him for help. Until then, you work near each other in silence. That is, until someone else joins your table. 

Andrew Lark, a boy in your house, sits across from you. 

“You going to Hogsmeade this weekend?” he asks. 

“No,” you say shortly, not looking up from your essay, although you do stop writing. You don’t want to write the wrong thing down because Andrew was talking.

“Do you want to? I’d love to take you.”

“No thank you, Andrew.”

“Come on, love. Let me take you out.”

“I have no desire to go to Hogsmeade this weekend, nor do I want to go out with you.”

“Baby, we’d have-” he starts to say.

“Lark, she said no,” Remus says calmly, having stopped working as soon as Andrew approached the table. 

Andrew shot Remus an annoyed look. “Wasn’t talking to you, Lupin.”

“I know. But you weren’t listening to her.”

“This doesn’t involve you.”

Remus scoffs. “You interrupted my studying by being here. I’d say I’m semi-involved.”

“Then sit elsewhere,” Andrew says, before turning back to you. “Last chance? It’d be more fun than you’re imagining.”

You give Remus a sideways glance. He’s looking at you, waiting for your response as much as Andrew is. 

“Surprise, surprise, Remus is right. I said no.” You give Remus a quick smile before turning back to your essay.

Andrew rolls his eyes and stands up. “Think about it, dove. My offer will always stand.”

Then he walks away. You and Remus both return to your silent working. You feel Remus’ eyes on you every once in a while; you can also tell he’s looking at you from when he pauses his writing, letting his quill just hover above the ink pot longer than a person normally would. 

“So what do you have against Hogsmeade?” he asks after a few minutes. 

You snort. “Oh, nothing really. Andrew’s been asking me to go with him for months and I’d really rather not go with him. Plus, Slughorn’s essay? Haven’t even started that.”

Remus nods with a breath of relief. “Good, I don’t know how anyone can actually not like Hogsmeade.” He pauses. “Would you like company when you work on that essay?”

The question catches you off guard. You look up at him and you’re sure the shock is evident on your face. 

“I, uh, can’t stop anyone from being in the library,” you say, feeling uncertain.

“Well, no,” he chuckles. “But if you’d rather work alone…”

You don’t respond right away; you’re considering it. Remus wasn’t a bother. You didn’t know why he would give up a Hogsmeade trip to be in the library with you though. You knew he usually accompanied his boisterous friends to the village.

“If it’s just you, I suppose company could be nice.” A small smile is playing at your lips in a way Remus has never seen before. “If you’re thinking of bringing the rest of your little gang with you, I’d rather you stay away then.”

Remus chuckles. “Those gits will be off in the village. Possibly pestering Lark.” He sends a wink your way.

You shake your head as you look back down at your essay, but there’s an undeniable smile on your face now. Remus sees it as a success. Maybe with a little persuading from him, the others would let Lark know he needed to back off of you and you’d be free from his pursuits. 

Come Saturday, you and Remus are back at the same table. Except he’s sitting across from you and reading as opposed to working on his own assignments.

Curious, you ask, “Weren’t you assigned this essay too?”

“Finished it.”

“And you don’t have anything else to work on?”

“No. That’s why I’m reading.” He flourishes his book for emphasis.

“So you gave up going to Hogsmeade for…” Your voice lilts like you’re asking a question.

“To keep you company while you work.”

“I work alone all the time. I’m usually more productive that way.”

“Maybe you just haven’t had company conducive to efficiency.”

“Who talks like that?” you laugh. “Company conducive to efficiency.”

Remus smiles at you and sets his book down. “I’m just saying! Some people are more of a distraction while others let you do your thing. James and Sirius? Distractions. Peter… He goes back and forth between the two.”

“And I suppose you’re conducive for them.”

“Most of the time. Others, I’m as bad as they are.”

He picks his book back up to continue reading and you return to your essay. The library is silent except for the scratching of your quill and the occasional turning of pages by Remus. You sneak a few glances at him when you finish a sentence or a paragraph, and you catch yourself full on staring at him when you finish. As you put your work away, you clear your throat to get his attention.

“I suppose you being here was conducive, but I feel bad that you didn’t go to Hogsmeade.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t. Sometimes I need a break from certain people.”

“Then let me make it up to you. Let’s go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow.” You pause and blush at what you just said. “If you want to, of course, and don’t have anything else planned. I just thought that, because you didn’t go today and tomorrow will be less busy since everyone goes today.” You feel yourself rambling which makes you blush harder.

“Yeah, okay. That’d be nice. Meet you in the Great Hall after breakfast? Or lunch? I’m really okay with either.”

“I’m not a morning person,” you say with a chuckle. “We could get lunch in Hogsmeade?”

“Oh, okay. Then meet by the Grand Entrance around noon?”

“Sounds like a plan, Lupin. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As you walk away from him, he can’t help but smile. This was going better than planned. He didn’t have to ask you out; you asked him. And all he had to do was not be forward about it with you. Now, he just had to work up to kissing you, and then snogging. 

You’re more nervous than you expected to be in the morning. You had never been on a date before, and you weren’t even sure if this would count as one. Your roommates were confused as to why you didn’t go to Hogsmeade yesterday with them but were going today.

“It’s just backwards!” one had tried to explain when they heard of your plan. “Everyone goes to Hogsmeade on Saturday and does homework on Sunday!”

“Which leads to Hogsmeade being packed and then the library being packed. It makes sense to go today.”

You purposefully left out that you were meeting Remus and going with him. Just as he hadn’t told his friends that he was making progress with you. For now, until something proper came out of it, this Hogsmeade visit would be something you shared only with each other.

Remus is waiting for you when you finally leave your dorm. The walk to Hogsmeade is quiet. It’s not awkward though. You’re glad he’s not trying to force conversation. You fear that would be more uncomfortable. 

“So where do you want to go first?” you ask as you arrive. 

“I don’t mind as long as we hit up Honeydukes and Three Broomsticks at some point,” he says with a shrug. 

You can’t help but think he looks a bit cute with his hands shoved into his pockets. 

“Start at Three Broomsticks then? Get our lunch and go from there?” you suggest. 

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

As expected, the pub isn’t too busy. You find a table and order food and butterbeers from Rosmerta. Then it’s just the two of you at a table. He asks about your essay that you were working on yesterday and if you think Slughorn will like it. He talks about his own. Conversation covers a lot of school, but then it drifts to your friends and Quidditch. And then to the Marauders and their pranks. Time flies by so quickly. Your plates are emptied quickly and you go through several mugs of butterbeer. You only notice how much time has gone by you glance out the window by chance and the sun is lower in the sky than you had expected.

“Oh! We need to get going if you still want to go to Honeydukes.”

Remus looks to the window and nods. “I didn’t realize the time…”

He waves down Rosmerta and hands her some galleons. You smack his shoulder gently as you exit the pub together. 

“You paid? I was the one who invited you to Hogsmeade. I should’ve paid.”

He rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t the guy on a date though?”

You blush, which in turn causes him to blush. So this was a date. And you had initiated.

“Let me pay for your chocolate at least.”

“Oh, don’t go down that road,” he says with a laugh and a wide smile. “You are underestimating how much chocolate I’ll be getting.”

“Galleons worth?” 

“Galleons worth.”

“Remus Lupin! That cannot be healthy!”

“‘S not my fault my stash gets raided constantly.”

You laugh. The air is light between you. He really does get several galleons worth of chocolate; you thought he was kidding. You insist on paying for part of it. The owners of Honeydukes patiently wait for you to leave the store before locking the door behind you. The sun is set by the time you’re walking back to Hogwarts. The crescent moon is high in the night sky, bathing the path back to school in a pale light.

When you reach the castle, still standing outside, you say, “This was fun. I’m glad I got to go to Hogsmeade.”

“I’m glad I got to go with you.”

You feel your face heat. The romantic in you tells you, no, begs you to kiss his cheek. Tell him he’s why it was so fun. Talking over butterbeers was your favorite way to pass time and you really enjoyed getting to know him better. But you weren’t so bold. 

“Goodnight Remus,” you say before heading inside. 

He stood outside for a few minutes longer. He should have kissed your cheek. He was kicking himself for not doing so. But that might have been too bold and risked scaring you off. It was probably for the best that he didn’t. He needed to work up to it. The boys were waiting for him when he returned to his dorm.

“Where have you been all day?” James asks accusingly as soon as Remus walks through the door.

“None of your business, Mum,” Remus says, tossing the Honeydukes bag on his bed.

“Honeydukes?” Peter asks, sitting up. “You went to Hogsmeade? Just now?”

“You went to Hogsmeade without us?” James asks, putting two and two together. 

“You went yesterday,” Remus reminds him.

“You chose to stay back. Why go today?”

“Because-” he starts to say.

“You’re working on the bet, aren’t you?” Sirius cuts him off. The smile Sirius was sporting said that he knew he was right.

“Yes.”

James and Peter gasp. Sirius grins wider.

“So you going to tell us how it’s going?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Peter asks with a pout forming on his face.

“You’ll just know when I succeed.”

Sirius rolls his eyes and laughs. “Must be going well if you’re still confident you’re going to succeed.”

---

“Andrew, for the love of Merlin, leave me alone,” you complain on your way to class.

Whatever the Marauders did to him at Hogsmeade wasn’t enough. He seemed more urgent than ever to take you on a date, even with you telling him that you weren’t interested in him in the slightest. He stands in the doorway to your class, which he isn’t in.

“Come on, just one date. It’ll be the best one you’ve ever been on!”

Remus looks up from his conversation with the boys at his desk at Andrew’s voice. He hears you groan.

“Let me into my class!”

Remus is there in a moment. 

“Lark, let the lady through,” Remus says firmly.

Andrew spins around in the doorway, still blocking it but now looking at Remus. 

“Little Lupin to the rescue? You fancy her or something?”

“Yeah, a bit,” Remus answers, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “Now let her through. I think she’s made her opinions of you quite clear.”

Andrew glances at you over his shoulder. 

“Hear that, dove? Lupin likes you.”

“I’d hope so. We went on a date.”

Andrew’s arms fall so he’s not blocking the door as well and Remus pulls you through, which makes Andrew stumble slightly out of the way.

“What do you mean you went on a date?” Andrew asks indignantly. “A date? An actual date? With him?”

“That’s what I said. Care to confirm?” you ask, looking up at Remus, who is still holding your arm.

“Yeah. It was quite lovely. She’s quite lovely.” He looks down at you with a soft smile. 

Then without thinking, you lean up and press a chaste kiss to his cheek. Andrew looks ready to scream and a few hollers erupt from behind you. You scan the room for the source. The Marauders. You’re not too surprised at that. Of course Remus’ friends would be watching him as he came to play hero. It’s less than thirty seconds, but by the time you look back over to the door, Andrew has vanished.

“Thanks, Remus,” you breathe.

“Maybe he’ll finally leave you alone, huh?”

“Hope so.”

He walks you to your desk before returning to his own, where James pats him enthusiastically on the back. Throughout the entire lesson, you two are looking over at each other. Most of the time, when one is looking, the other isn’t. You only make eye contact with him once all lesson, which caused both of you to turn a deep shade of crimson. 

By the end of the week, Andrew stops asking you out on the daily and appears to be purposefully avoiding you and Remus. You find ways to spend more time with him, scheduling study time in the library and comparing schedules so that you can walk to your classes together. You even join him and his friends for lunch every few days. They were rather shocked the first time, but quickly turned into a welcoming group. 

It became obvious to those around you that you were seeing Remus. It came as a surprise to many people, including your friends. 

“What do you mean you’re dating Remus Lupin? When do you talk to him?”

“What do you mean you went to Hogsmeade with him? Alone?”

“When did this happen and why didn’t we know about it?”

Excuses of minding your own business and not wanting to count your chickens before they hatched echoed in your dorm. It really had come out of nowhere, but you suppose it was because Remus pursued you in a way that no one else had. He wasn’t putting you on the spot to do the things he wanted and disrupting you when you were clearly busy. He liked to be in your presence and took your opinion into consideration before suggesting things. Even better, he put Andrew Lark in his place. 

You were headed to your usual table to meet Remus for a study session; you refused to call them study dates because you knew your mind would say that you can’t be productive on a date. You laugh at your thoughts: dates are not conducive for studying. You hear Remus’ voice as you walk through the shelves, collecting some books you know you need for your Herbology assignment. You stop mid-step when you hear additional voices at your table.

“Have you snogged her yet, Moony?” Sirius asks.

“No, not yet,” he answers with a sigh. 

Not yet. You smile.

“Well, could you get on with it? You’ve been spending so much time with her. We need you for this prank.”

“You were the one to suggest the bet. Sorry I’m taking my time.”

“But you’re going to break up with her once you do, right?” Peter asks. “Complete the bet and get out before you catch feelings. That was the point of this.”

You bite your lip, hoping that somehow this wasn’t about you, that maybe Remus had a voice twin and they were talking about the other boy’s girl. You knew that it wasn’t possible, but you had to hope for a moment. But then James spoke. 

“Even better, you got Lark off her back so she owes you. She owes you a snog and then you’re free. You’ll have gotten your kiss, Casanova.”

Lark. He had only been after you for a while. And Remus had been the reason he was leaving you alone. 

You leave your hiding place within the books, stepping into their line of sight. Remus’ eyes go wide as he sees you. His heart breaks when he sees the tears in your eyes. You had heard and he knew it. 

You lock eyes with him and you shake your head. Holding the books close to your chest, you turn to leave the library. How could you work with someone who was only with you to snog you for a bet? A damn bet? 

You ignore Remus calling after you. You don’t break into a run; you have too many books in your arms to run, but you’re walking as quickly as you can. From the sound of his footsteps, he is running. Running and calling your name, saying it isn’t what you think. That the boys don’t know what they are talking about. You spin on the spot to glare at him through tears when he finally catches up to you and places a hand on your shoulder. 

“Did you or did you not ask to sit at my table in the library because of, of, of that bet?” you spit. It comes out harsh. It was supposed to. You were angry and upset.

“I did, but-”

“There’s no buts about this, Remus,” you say firmly. You’re firm but your voice is laced with sadness and uncertainty. “All of this was because of a bet. And I’m not a bet. So yeah. Go fuck yourself.”

You leave him standing in the corridor. He could’ve followed you. Some part of him knew he should have so that he could explain. 

---

You avoid Remus at all costs. He tries to hunt you down in the library, in between classes, in the Great Hall. He’s even taken to sitting outside your dorm. Your roommates step around him, muttering insults. He doesn’t blame them. If it had been anyone else doing this, he would be saying the same insults under his breath to Sirius, James and Peter. He hated himself for agreeing to the stupid bet in the first place. He should have just gone after you on his own terms. 

About a week later, you spent all day studying in the library and you were honestly surprised that Remus didn’t show up once. You missed dinner, but you didn’t mind. If you had gone to dinner, you might have run into Remus and if you were safe in the library, you were staying there until you went to bed. Except you ran into Remus while trying to go to bed. He was asleep outside your dorm’s door. You knew you should’ve just gone into your dorm and ignored him, but you were a good person and wouldn’t let him sleep like that all night. You nudge his side gently with your foot.

“Lupin,” you say softly. “Lupin, wake up.”

He stirs, rubbing his eyes. When he sees that you’re the one who woke up and not some disgruntled prefect, he jumps to his feet and hugs you. You make a startled noise at the hug.

“Please, let me explain,” he whispers.

“You have five minutes. Then I’m going to bed.”

“Okay, thank you,” he says quickly. “Thank you. Okay, so yes, it did start as a bet.”

You groan and reach for the doorknob. He puts his hand on top of yours to stop it from turning. 

“I have four minutes and thirty seconds,” he says, causing you to roll your eyes. “A bet that I couldn’t get a girl and snog her. I accepted because Sirius was being rude. Stupid, I know. But please, please, please believe me when I say the bet stopped being relevant the moment you agreed that I could keep you company in the library while you worked on your Potions essay. I wasn’t doing it just to snog you and prove to the boys that I really could get a girl.”

“And I should believe you because?”

“Because if it was just for a bet, I would’ve kissed you when we got back from Hogsmeade the first time. I would’ve snogged you in front of Andrew and the boys. Just to prove that I could do it. I would’ve been done.” He pauses, trying to read the expression on your face. “I’ve been spending so much time with you because I genuinely like you so much. I like being your boyfriend. I like being around you. I like making you smile. I like making you laugh. Yes, I’d like to snog you very much. But not for a bet. I want to snog you to feel your lips against mine. I like studying with you, I like paying for your butterbeers. I like walking around with you. I like when you hang out with my friends. I’d like to hang out with your friends.” 

He pauses his ramblings to catch his breath briefly.

“That is, if you’ll forgive me for even partaking in this stupid goddamn bet. And you somehow convince your friends to forgive me too.”

You cross your arms and lean against the doorframe. You take in Remus’ appearance. You’re used to him looking perpetually tired, but he looks exhausted, so much worse for wear than usual. His hair is a mess and clothes uncharacteristically rumpled. His expression is so genuine and sad, practically begging you to understand how much he cares for you.  

“Please. I know you’re more than a bet. So much more. The only good thing about the bet is that it actually got me to get close to you.”

“I’ll forgive you under one condition,” you say.

His face lights up and he takes a step toward you. 

“Anything. You name it and it’s done.”

You smirk. “When you do snog me, please do it in front of Lark. A little revenge on that sorry bastard.”

Remus smiles widely and nods. Then he places a gentle kiss on your lips. It only lasts a second, over as soon as it began. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He gives you an identical kiss. “One snog in front of Lark coming up.”

[joe-willow]

I need your help for writting an autistic character

English isn't my first language I'm sorry

my biggest fear about this is to a make him stereotypical, which isn't what i want. I want the people who will read my story to feel like they're seeing a human being, and NOT some sort of caricature.

I know that maybe some of you will tell me to "just write a character", but him being autistic plays a big role in the story

Summary of the story :

The story happens in the 1800 era, somewhere in Europe. At this time, there were little to no researches about psychology. Of course there were some, but nothing really about autism, most people considered autistic people as retarded, "socially dumb", as I read somewhere, so, being autistic at this time was probably not really cool, idk how to put it other way I'm bad at English, I'm sorry

Frankie is a young boy who was born in a pretty wealthy family. He is approximately 16, idk yet. Frankie is the autistic character.

He's not the main character of the story, but a huge part of it revolves around him, and his relationship with the main character

What I mean by this, is that his family thinks he's crazy. They say that they tried everything (but for what in the end?) to make him behave like a normal kid of its time but nothing worked, so they consider him crazy now.

They also say this because of his stims, that you can easily see (ok this sentence sound awful, but you get what I mean) and because of the sound he makes. For that reason, his parents put him in multiple asylum/other families in his youth in the hope of seeing him come back normal (that's obviously not how it works)

They do not try to understand him, so he (Frankie) stopped talking to them, which he didn't do a lot already and kind of cut contacts with them, even if right now, they are living in the same house.

What happens :

The story revolves around an invitation that Vlad, the main characters of my story received for a ball. He can give to two people an invitation as well.

The first one, he's going to give it to the girl of his dream, Christelle, but he doesn't know to who is he going to give the 2nd.

This is where Frankie begins to appear. Vlad, some weeks before the ball, is invited by one of friends to his house. This friend, is Frankie's dad, Ivan. Now you might be thinking, does vlad already knew Frankie? No, because everytime he would visit Ivan, Frankie was either in an asylum or in another family (he didn't spend good time there)

So, when entering the house, this is the first time he sees him, and he kind of scare him (I wanted to say frighten but it's maybe a bit too much. But I mean if your all time bestie invited you that all of the sudden they have a child and they tell u that they neglected him all his childhood.... that would scare me, tbh)

But that wasn't only that, his manners scared him. Then, they went up, somewhere in which he couldn't hear them. Here, Ivan tells something horrible to Vlad : basically, he wants to "heal" him by using a very experimental technique on him (electrochocks) but which has probably like 99% chances of making you die (bcs it was experimental, ik it's still used nowadays, but at least ppl know what they are doing and it's NOT used to """"heal"""" autism. You can't heal autism.)

Vlad tries to convince him to not do that, but Ivan tells him smtg like "wE tRiEd EvErYtHinG blah blah blahhhhh" and that he would do it in some weeks, in the hope of healing him.

Vlad, after his revelation is schocked. He still is afraid of Frankie, but he doesn't want him to die... what kind of parents would want do that ?

So, ---' we miss some scenes, in the end he decides to give his second invitation to Frankie. After that, he'll come visit him 3 or 4 times before the ball and will try to show him how to dance, which he will love. Frankie loves dancing. Vlad is now convinced, even of he still finds him weird, that he just needed some attention, to have somehow that actually tried to understand him by his side.

At the end of the story, when it'll be near the ball, there will be a huge chapter in Frankie's POV about when he was going to see his father to give him the ball invitation (like, maybe 3 days before the ball)

(I can't tell you if he will actually go or not that would be too much spoiler (but I think I actually spoiled you the whole story, at this point XD))

I don't really know what I can tell you more, but I you read this till the end, I would be glad if you could give your HONEST review about the summary I wrote and especially about Frankie's parts and advices for writting his characters

Of course I've already made some researches, but If I could get help from people that are actually autistic, or that have family members/friend/etc that are, that would be really cool.

Thanks for reading !!!!

And have a great day ^^

[ilovemylawyer]

helloooo thank you so much for writing the fic i requested 💗💗💗💗💗

i just wanted to say that in "as a corpse" where dongsoo have to spoonfeed doyoung because bro was absolutely gone, i was fixated on that part for some reason,, it's like an evident act of dominance on his part, something about the idea of controlling the portion he eats is so evil but obvi for doyoung it's like sign of utmost faith it's not like his lawyer will drug it or smtg hehee. i was having lots of thoughts about this randomly anyways i hope doyoung gets handfed by dongsoo often 🥰 maybe to the point he will throw a hissy fit to dongsoo via facetime when he has to use his own two hands lmaoo

hi!!!!!!!! <3333 responding to you here before i get to ur comments on ao3 <33 hiii hiiii hiiiiii good eveningggg!!!!

you are so welcome!! thank YOU for requesting!!! come back for more anytime, seriously!!! i love being given tasks and then completing them for the enjoyment of strangers through screens <3 i am sorry tho i had to change it from ohjae walking into something to him getting trapped... i just cannot imagine him walking in on some lawyer/client freakage and not like. immediately running away. LOL.

and WAAAAAH T_T WAAAAAAH (crying like little baby) WAAH!!! waaaahh!!! i put more blood sweat and tears into As A Corpse than like, all of the rest of my published fics combined. it was seriously SO difficult to write such an openly evil evil evil lawyer... and since i finished and posted it, i've felt pretty consistently UnConfident about it. i think i turned my little lovesick series down a dark dark path and i don't REGRET it, but i feel guilt about it.. i did NOT know it would get so heavy.. because of its weight i feel like it is very unpalatable compared to my other fics.. BUT. YOU ENJOY A SPECIFIC PART OF IT!! WAHHHOOOOOO!!!! i am honored that my little scene stuck with you :] this new knowledge comforts and heals me. thank u <3

i will now ramble about handfeeding/food in general...

we never see doyoung eat in the show. not once. he drinks but never eats. to me, he's too busy... too preoccupied with lawyerlove... no time for lame boring human things like eating food and getting rest (we also never see him sleep)... i find this significant because in comparison, we see dongsoo eat A LOT. he's a hungry guy. hungry for more more more. bottomless stomach type of attorney...

but we do see doyoung constantly feeding dongsoo in the show (stay with me) doyoung HandFeeds dongsoo his whole lifestyle. he feeds him easy money and a car and confidence and independence (and most importantly POWER). having dongsoo feed doyoung actual digestible >FOOD< is just one of the ways i try to flip them around... i like to say the quiet/inbetween parts out loud... if that makes sense...

it is objectively true that dongsoo Needs doyoung. not that he realizes this before its too late BUT!!!! if he HAD!!! then i think dongsoo would pull out quite a few stops to keep doyoung sated and sitting so that he (DS) can really take Everything over.

including doyoung... RE: dominance. yeah. i mean dongsoo's whole entire Thing is that he desires power. he wants to FEEL powerful and he wants tangible real life nearby close intimate Power over other people. if he isn't on the top then he is uneasy. he starts off only wanting to not be used/taken advantage of/mistreated but we are privileged enough to watch dongsoo come to NEED that power. this is something that doyoung knows from ep4 onward. doyoung knows that the power makes dongsoo tick, knows dongsoo NEEDS it so bad...(DY needs DS just as much if not more than DS needs him btw)... so yes its absolutely a dominance thing BUT doyoung is not ignorant to this. it is just the creative ways in which ds does what he wants to get what he wants that might be lost on others..

re: DRUGGING. EVILIVE is so super dongsoo-oriented which i am very grateful for, because that means i can make my own decisions about dy's issues and such just going off of the little scraps that the show gives us. in the scene where dy is drugged he gets the FUCKKKKKKK out of there, reckless driving DUI etc, and ends up in jail. so lets say this is his first experience with drugs... (he is an athlete, takes care of his body, doesn't smoke. i think it is fair to say he never dabbled)... doyoung was unexpectedly drugged by his allies (Team Members) and so to him, its a backstabby kind of thing. it isn't cool to get drugged. i barely barely momentarily mention this in midnight feelings, when dongsoo actually did spike dy's drink. ("don't do that again"+"don't do it again"). but the filthy slimy hungry lawyer will probably do it again. because he is evil. especially if we are talking no betrayal+sustainable business, because if they keep going on together, surely they'll make some drug connections eventually..

and finally re: HISSY FIT. i think doyoung is smart usually. i see him as a (mostly, until/un,less directly provoked) silent misbehaver. like he might not immediately start breaking things over dongsoo's refusal/inability to feed him but he May skip three meals in a row in rebellion..

I hope like. 10% of this makes some sense. i love talking about this relationship and this show but i SUCK at articulating my beliefs about it out-of-narrative </3 LUV U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME BACK ANY TIME <3

[aettuddae]

AAAAAAA OMG i was still typing but accidentally press enter anyways continuing with my why daerina #exhibit 3: CHAPTER 42 OMG! LIKE WDYM WHEN DAEIN LOOKS FOR KARINA WHEN SHE FEELS SAD. like alright she called someone she likes the least because everyone hates (no not rly) her but like AAAAAA its the fact that daein tells karina about her problems/whats on her mind. like literally no one can convince me that daein actually hates karina #exhibit 4: "is that my hoodie?" hesitated daein from behind inspecting her. "that's my hoodie." she confirmed to herself. LIKE DAEIN DIDNT ASK KARINA TO STOP WEARING IT!!! #exhibit 5: "yes, in one of our first chats." whenever daein spoke, she did so without any emotion.

"and you remember?"

"why wouldn't i?" she disregarded. ALSO THIS??? like maybe it doesnt mean much but oh my days SHE REMEMBERED smtg said ages ago while not liking rina?? like why would you remember something insignificant (not that its insignificant but smtg that shouldnt matter to you) about someone you DONT like. maybe im just being a crazy delusional person overanalyzing every single interaction of daerina because we barely get any where they are at peace with each other. but well i gotta do what i need to do :D also couldve made my life sm easier by uploading all the screenshots i have when i squeal but i rather stay anonymous for now

(here's first two exhibits)

ANON !!!! i can't believe you put into parts all the daerina proofs, it feels like a written version of those larry stylinson moments videos and i'm honestly eating it up

about exhibit #1 and #2 i may add that when hiro got lost and karina asked serim for help, she didn't even hesitate. she may care for hiro only, but still, she got her bike and drove karina around so she could find him 🤓☝🏼

exhibit #3 stronger daerina moment, i mean she did ignore and neglect her after but that's just how daein is 😭 but it's truth tho that daein opens up a lot with karina.

exhibit #4 I WAS HOPING ONE DAY SOMEONE MAY NOTICE THIS MOMENT OH MY GOD, probably my favorite daerina moment (i'm not daerina or daejeong team, i'm just the writer, but i have my moments of both that i'm excited about and this is one). i literally love when people shares clothes, i think i have added it in all my stories til this point, and i find it cute that karina just acts as if they're friends and takes her hoodie 😭

exhibit #5 not even karina could believe serim remembered about her playing piano, that was a particular moment that shook us all. she pays a little attention to her 😔

daerina is a chaotic duo, when they're not fighting they're trying to solve some sort of huge problem, so it's true that there isn't many calm moments, but these are all so cute and i can't believe you take screenshots of them 😭 these make sense, love that you put it in order, i myself squealed too and i'm the author lol

now someone needs to do the daejeong version we can't let this war die down

[disaster-j]

At first I was sure Sean knew (or well, would figure it out just like novel Sean) about White but at this point I'm just so conflicted idk. Like... I doubt he would know unless

1. he had a previous information (see: novel Sean, could be also show Sean checking out internet and finding out that way but idk how high the possibility of that is since then why wouldn't they know already about the twins?) OR

2. he saw "Black" doing smtg weird (like White changing clothes in car and going to meet his father or smtg)

Because logically there is no way Sean would figure out its White without one of these things, right? What's the probability that your gang mate has a twin brother who would pretend to be him?

I just can't imagine how the creators want to do the whole reveal thing and I'm so curious about it.

I used to be sure Sean would find out based on some information but the creators decided to change Sean's background which I absolutely love by the way but I feel like it also rules out the possibility of Sean previously knowing twins.

Which way do you think they'll choose to go?

I get what you mean but I also think Sean does Know that White isn't your regularly scheduled Black. So much of his current frustrations come from Black not acting like Black at all and thinking he's the only one who is taking this sudden change seriously. I do think a part of his knows it's not Black but ofc he doesn't have the right information to figure out the truth. So for now all he can do is struggle with the confusing feelings he gets around White.

I think that Sean will figure out White isn't Black tho. Like, he'll know the truth of who White is. Maybe by looking Black up or spying, there's lots of ways to find out really. It just makes sense to me. First of all, he's been accusing Black of not being himself this whole time. Secondly, in the mock trailer there's a scene where he straight up tells White he knows he ain't Black. There's also the scene where Sean is vulnerable around White and seems to tell him something Important about himself. I don't believe Sean would do that if he actively thought that was Black. My prediction is that that scene is actually him testing "Black" and that the bondage scene happens right after where he confronts White about knowing he's not really Black.

So that's my guess rn, let's see how close I was once it all finally unravels in the show!

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[thee-crimson-witch]

Day 1, 2, 23, idk of Gamer Zhongli

So @nyangorogoro030303 suggested: Ok another part to the Zhongli gamer AU because im SUCH A HUGE SIMP AHH. Ok sorry about that. How would Zhongli react when YN gets like a cut scene of her sacrificing smtg that she treasures A LOT for the sake of the city/his sake? Smtg like how Ninguang sacrificed the Jade Chamber, but far more valuble to YN. Smtg sentimental?  

Ok so I see this being something that Y/N had gotten from a dead family member, let’s go with her grandfather, it’s a necklace that’s been in the family lineage for decades, so valuable because the pendant holds elemental energy enough to kill the entire Fatui army. Y/N’s grandfather was the one that trained her since she was so young to be a strong fighter, in this day and age with so many dangerous opponents and monsters, he had always prepared her mentally, physically, and spiritually to be a warrior. 

Of course, she loves her grandpappy with her entire life, to which Zhongli found endearing, he loved seeing soft Y/N. But he died in an attack on their village, leaving her with the gift he had given. She kept it so dear to her and knew to never let it get into the wrong hands, god forbid she’d have to use it :(, she just wanted to make her grandfather proud, telling the story to anyone puts her in tears. 

Well, spoke too soon. The Abyss Order now took sight of the ancient heirloom, deciding already that it would be theirs to keep once they can sense where the little jewelry is located. You felt uneasy, like you were being watched, so you gave Zhongli’s character the necklace, told him to keep it safe as best as he possibly could. Of course while keeping it safe, Zhongli found himself having to fight pesky abyss mages, that damned hydro abyss mage. He completed the challenge, and went back to your location to see you gone! 

Paimon was suspicious and angry again, you had a knack for putting them in danger like this with something so precious. The pendant began glowing, they knew they had to run, the Abyss was locating it. This was their final recipe to rid of the human race, not a trace left back of them. It took a while, asking around to citizens of Liyue, but someone mentioned you left for Dragonspine, hoping your presence here in Liyue wouldn’t harm anyone. Zhongli was confused with you for a bit, why’d you leave him in danger? 

You didn’t even know they were looking for the necklace, you thought it was you. 

It took some puzzles and searching in Dragonspine to find you at the peak, staring out into space. “You worried Paimon, don’t run off like that again!” Paimon crossed her arms in complaint. “O-oh, I don’t think you’re quite safe around me, please go where... I won’t get you hurt Traveler.” No. Zhongli frowned, what about the friendship? Your eyes widened at what you saw at the base of the mountain, Abyss Mages? Great, you were just an enemy spawn. 

“Y/N, it’s the pendant!” Paimon cried. “Oh! Of course!” But there was so many Abyss Mages, not what you both could handle together! They were trashing on Fatui left and right as you watched with eyes blown wide open and a slack jaw. “I have to stop this! Traveler.” Your eyes filled with tears, Zhongli hoped you weren’t about to do what he thought you would, skipping through some of the dialogue with an expression of disbelief. “I have to sacrifice it, it’s what they want, but there’s too many of them.” “Be a fighter! You can do this, your grandfather wouldn’t like you giving into this so soon!” He chose the dialogue choice to agree with Paimon, you can do this. 

“I want to protect you, you mean too much to me- and everyone else. I’m going to give it up.”

Zhongli’s legs were kicking under his desk unknowingly, you cared about him that much? 

Screenshots the moment you look into his eyes with a smile. Lovely but devastating. 

He watches as you hold onto M/C’s hand, reaching for your pendant from his neck. 

You held it to your chest, it lit up again as the energy released itself, the shockwave so bright and powerful.

Paimon almost got thrown all the way across Teyvat. 

The camp at the base of the mountain was full of confused onlookers, just what in the world?

Chances are that what you said was slightly a love confession, at least he hoped? 

The last surviving Abyss Mage breathed in and out harshly, before teleporting to the top. 

It wasn’t to attack you, but a declaration of peace. 

“To think, that that thing had so much power... yet it only did so little to the land, mediocre. We don’t want anything to do with such a human like you!” It disappeared. 

Zhongli was proud, be scared of Y/N, yes. But the pendant was way too overhyped, you agreed. 

It wasn’t that powerful. God your grandfather could overexaggerate. 

[animaniachan]

ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏꜰɪʟᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʀɪʀᴜʜᴀᴘɪ, ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴇʟʟᴀ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀᴏᴘᴘᴇʟʟᴀ!

ꜰʏᴀ’ᴍ’ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ! ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪꜱᴍ! ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ Qᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇꜰꜰᴏʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ! ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ, ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ.

ʟᴀꜱᴛʟʏ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ! ᴀʟꜱᴏ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ!

ᴇᴅɪᴛ: ʏ’ᴀʟʟ ɪᴅᴋ ᴡʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ɪꜱ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ꜱᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ ᴇᴅɪᴛꜱ. ꜱᴏ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’ꜱ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ. ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪx ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʟɪᴋᴇ 30 ᴍɪɴꜱ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛᴛ

•

riruhapi’s name can also be translated into lil’ happy. but since idk if the devs meant this translation i’m just gonna leave it as the original katakana pronunciation.

otowa high is a metropolitan high school meaning that it is directly governed by the state. metropolitan in japanese is “toritsu” this is also where the name team toritsu or toritsu-gumi comes from when referring to riruhapi and “shiritsu” on the other hand, means “private school” and that’s why team shiritsu or shiritsu-gumi is used to refer to fya’m’

otowa high is a metropolitan high school meaning that it is directly governed by the state. metropolitan in japanese is “toritsu” this is also where the name team toritsu or toritsu-gumi comes from when referring to riruhapi and “shiritsu” on the other hand, means “private school” and that’s why team shiritsu or shiritsu-gumi is used to refer to fya’m’

edit: from now on, otowa will be referred to as a public high school based on the english official translation! just to clarify, the reason i didn’t initially translate it to “public” is because public is usually referred as “kouritsu” 公立 in japanese instead of “toritsu” 都立 so it was semi-confusing TT

the two emblems/logos you see at the top left of riruhapi’s image is of their school emblem and group logo respectively. top one is school logo, bottom is group logo.

Suzumiya Hajime:

“my-pace” is essentially a term used to describe people who does things at their own pace without being considerate of others around them. in hajime’s case, he often causes some trouble to others by being so my-paced.

his name is hajime (means “the beginning” in japanese) because his birthday is 1/1

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite food is miso

his hobby is watching game livestreams and he’s a big fan of a streamer named “zou” (the name also means “elephant” in japanese)

what he likes about a cappella: all of it

others introduce him as the following:

he’s unbelievably directionally challenged

he’s super duper good at singing

and he looks at his smartphone way too much

a word to his group members: “from now on, let’s do our best together!”

Tanba Rin:

his name is actually a pun—can’t figure it out? repeat it a few times in your head and you’ll see :))

the third section of his translations which includes the “clown” and his “comebacks” refers to the typical japanese comedy style of “boke” and “tsukkomi.” you see a lot of it in japanese comedians and manzai where one person intentionally acts dumb and air headed so the other can reprimand them as a joke.

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite foods are ramen, beef bowls, fast food, and basically food that he can gobble down a lot at once

his hobby is bike touring

what he likes about a cappella: it feels good to be able to sing loudly and it’s fun to do things like this with everyone

others introduce him as the following:

he works the same part-time with maito

he’s the most fashionable in his group

his tsukkomi’s are smooth af

a word to his group members: “i’ll never get bored when i’m around you guys!”

Kariyazono Michitaka:

he’s in class 1-C

his favourite foods are milk, dairy products, and all dishes that use milk in them

his hobby is randonneuring (but by himself)

what he like about a cappella: we can make people smile with our singing

others introduce him as the following:

he helps at his dad’s shop and cares about his family a lot

he wants to drink latte art someday

you would want an older brother like him

a word to his group members: “it’ll be great if we can keep singing forever and ever with these members...!”

Shihou Luka:

luka’s last line in his character dialogue is translated to “i’ll always be watching over you” but the original japanese phrases means more like “i’ll always be watching you” if translated directly. even if it’s not meant to sound creepy, it kind of does when directly translated over so therefore i added the “over.” but basically think of it like he’ll always have his eyes on you (non-creepy ofc :p)

he’s in class 1-A

his favourite food is the vegetable-filled blt that his father makes

his hobby is going to the gym

what he likes about a cappella: he can come closer to being his ideal self through the support from everyone

others introduce him as the following:

the smiling prince

he’s kind of an airhead

he worries about calories way too much

a word to his group members: “singing in front of other people, this was something my past self could’ve never imagined...it’s thanks to all to you, thank you.”

Soenji Sayo:

when referring to sayo’s “overwhelming behaviours due to his wealthy family background,” i’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean that he acts like a spoiled brat. in this context, it’s more so referring to how he does unthinkable actions (like calling a helicopter to help search for a missing cat or smtg idk) for everyday trivial problems.

sayo refers to his twin brother as “asaharu-niisan” because due to japanese culture, even if they are twins, there are instances where the younger one refers to the older one as “older brother/sister.” and sayo respects the hell out of asaharu hence “niisan” with the “san” honorific

sayo’s name means “rainy night” in japanese where asaharu’s name means “sunny morning”

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite food is french cuisine (the specific dish name is too long)

his hobbies are visiting airfields (to fly planes I assume???) and reading

what he likes about a cappella: he can make the audience happy by giving form to his emotions with the people he likes

others introduce him as the following:

knowledgeable

occasionally air-headed

he can actually do kado (japanese flower arrangement)

a word to his group members: “the high school life that i’ve experienced with everyone is one of the most precious treasures in my life.”

[yiulee999]

Hey! What do you think of OPM season 2? I still love it & am looking forward to next weeks new episode but i just wish Saitama had more screen time ;-(

hey nonny~! 

apologies for the late reply, its a combo of not getting notifications (tumblr u useless trashbucket) and being on surgery rotation (i miss sleeping so much) 

firstly, i am truly glad you still love it and look forward to the new episodes!!! 💖💖💖please dont let anything i say from this point on dissuade you from that enjoyment 

THAT BEING SAID 

///cut for length 

ive only watched up to the second episode, and i am having Such Difficulties convincing myself to keep watching. i know my rxns to ep 1 were overall pretty positive and I stand by it but the more i watch the more the Cringe/Hypercritique starts take over. 

Turns out, the art style had a bigger impact than i thought on the length of which i enjoy shows. personally, i just really like when anime/shows have a happy marriage between writing and artwork. and when show directors know how to interpret writing, how to set up a scene (the angle, the music, the pacing), and then communicate with artists who have the skills to bring that idea to life using the medium they’re given -- that’s when writing becomes storytelling. OPM’s writing is still fantastic since they’re going off ONE (whereas GoT has the opposite problem where the production value is 4K and the writing is early 2000s livejournal/fanfiction lol god why is everyone dropping the ball in 2019??)

As for the art, since opm switched to jc staff and shingo natsume & co. left for other projects ( ;;_____;; im emo ), its inevitable we would see a drop in animation quality and i find myself constantly getting distracted by things i never used to get concerned about in the first season (bc of the high bar of expectations set by s1 artists/directors, like theres just no way jc staff would match up it to all of that and i feel bad for them, they’re trying their best but that doesn’t mean theyre immune to critique on the artistic liberties that they’ve taken that i feel as a viewer, may not have been the best choice?) 

the shading: no, just, unnecessary and distracting and why is it the center of saitamas face, im by far no expert in lighting but a bish can tell something doesnt look right??? 

the shading pt II: color choices. just gonna say i was not expecting sai’s ‘hair shirt’ in ep 1 to be bright-ass neon green, it was a little jarring at first and i miss him in red ;-; i get hes supposed to have poor fashion choices but i dont see him as the type to pick something that stands out so much in the crowd, like he likes to be left alone. NEON doesnt really relay ‘hi dont mind me im just barely existing here lol’ 

the shading pt III: genos arms/neck. okaY so the bby looks good in screenshots. like he’s shiny and nice to look at when nothings moving. bUT this is animation?? movement of objections is different from still life manga so making every single scene almost 99% like murata’s panels translates a little awkwardly to the screen (like staff is lucky bc murata’s a force of nature with his panels playing out like a movie for ref). but when genos moves, the arms are just distracting bc everything around him is drawn simply without shadows so they stand out by themselves and i (visually) forget about the rest of him haha. 

the pacing: it feels scripted, person A says this so we’ll show person A in the shot, then person B is saying something so we have to cut to person B, etc etc like keeping pretty steady to manga lines to the point where i was starting to get bored bc i knew what was coming. it was really intervaled? like someone had to be saying something at a certain effect and i think s1 had more dramatic pauses (lol) but thats how you can place emphasis on scenes to have an emotional impact if the character doesnt say anything and just let the soundtrack do some talking and the cadence of the script will change too (im 10000% talking about the sunset scene in s1 god bless. like it was slow, there was MOOD there wasn’t any rush and really gave the viewer time to think about the relationship between the two characters and what that moment meant to each of them) i feel like there were several scenes that could have been more like in the scene where sai protected fubuki, could have been a little more dramatically emphasized (aka just a pause) so the viewer could get a chance to understand that he purprosefully shielded her or when genos says that strong heroes are drawn to saitama--bUT nope its the same pace, like c l o c k w o r k just like my t eARS--

the fight scenes: how do i even start. the one scene that got me INTO opm (like watching the anime, reading the manga, drawing fanart, writing fanfic, reading fanfics etc) was kickstarted by the fight scene between genos and saitama in s1 that was circulating on tumblr a while back. i thought the characters were interesting and the fight was badass and it just looked SO COOL. (also the forehead flick at the end just kinda sealed my fate). going from that to s2 fight scenes where its mostly cut scenes and freeze scenes?? where theres a cut out behind the characters back?? during a fight scene????? this isn’t a calling card or an anime opening??? i dont understand. when they dont do cut scenes, its interesting but my initial impression is just underwhelmed. i can find good parts but it feels like i have to replay the scene to notice it? theres also an overwhelming amount of graphics/cgi manipulation that overpowers the actual art sometimes. its lacking some of the fluidity that comes from hand drawn fight scenes from first season. OTL

the sound directing: so i thought that the mood just felt off for certain scenes and the sound didn’t seem to support the scene as well (unless it was like the character’s theme or smtg) and i looked it up and the sound director was also replaced (Yoshikazu Iwanami replacing Shoji Hata). i have no idea if the sound director is also in charge of character lines but there were parts were fubuki was monologuing and i had no idea she was inner monologuing, i thought she was talking out loud and that just took extra effort on my part to re-orient myself (im nitpitcking i know but its just how i watch shows lol) 

there are still some parts i like about the animation:

fubuki looks bangin and i love her👌👗

all of this just made me realize how insanely lucky we were to have an amazing s1 and just have it exist and how i really could not care less if they had just waited forever to make s2 as long as we had the same crew come back. but anime is still a business and the quicker they dish out merch/seasons, the more money they can bring in. which they do in the short run but they would bring in more if they spent a little more on quality in the long run and it becomes one of those classics that ppl will rewatch and keep recommending to ppl who want to get into anime and oh my god we’re never gonna have that now, are we. if im gonna rec it to a friend its gonna be ‘read the manga!’ or ‘just watch s1!’ uGH. its just an unfortunate situation, its not one person’s fault either, so many factors go into what made opm s1 so spectacular and seeing s2 just made me appreciate s1 more. i guess im happy to have a s2 regardless? 

i’ll still watch to support (and bc i like suiryuu and wanna see sai in a karate gi and wig lol). maybe i just have to get used to the new style. 

so in summary,

[sheikah]

Ciao :) I’ve been thinking about smtg: you know how even the 7x07 director said how the script of boatsex wasn’t that specific? Well, I noticed that, but there’s one tiny little line that caught my attention: “Jon is on top”.. lol the hell? why would they add a detail like that when they haven’t really said much about the scene except that J&D are making love(which is the main point of it all but still)? Probably there’s no reason at all but I’m just curious about your opinion, if you have one!

Hi, friend! I thought that was a funny little detail, too! But I don’t think it’s just a random, throwaway line. I think there’s a real purpose behind it. In my opinion, there are two reasons for this. 

1. They wanted to emphasize that Jon really wanted this. I think this is the first and most important reason. 

What do we know about Jon? He’s honorable to a fault–he even admits this himself! Because of this, and because of his lingering hangups and self-doubt about being a bastard, he puts more significance on sex than most men do. When other boys his age were sleeping with Winter Town whores, Jon couldn’t do it for fear of fathering a bastard on one. 

Even with Ygritte–who was very outspoken and even aggressive about her willingness to have sex with him–Jon took some time to give in to his feelings and consummate his relationship with her. 

Additionally, he didn’t make a move on Val despite being canonically attracted to/interested in her in the books, and he refused Melisandre’s offer of sex in season 5. 

Putting all of this together, we know that sex is something that Jon doesn’t take lightly. When he lays with a woman, it’s serious business. And so to emphasize the deep emotional attraction between Jon and Dany, D&D made the decision to have Jon be the one actively pursuing their relationship. He is the one to knock on her cabin door. And he is the one on top taking charge of their lovemaking. It just drives home the idea that this isn’t some one-off, titillating sex scene for the audience. This is the real thing. This is love. Otherwise, Jon Snow wouldn’t be involved. And Jon Snow wasn’t coerced or invited like he was with Ygritte. He chose this.

2. Dany isn’t in a place emotionally to be her usual, sexually confident self. This might be more subtle/just my interpretation, but I think the evidence is there. 

Dany has recently been through an extremely trying emotional ordeal. She loses Viserion in a sudden and horrific way, and sees the Army of the Dead for the first time. Just before this happens, the conversation with Tyrion reminds her of her supposed infertility, and clearly makes her uncomfortable. I think the conversation made her feel inferior somehow, or lacking as a monarch since she believes she cannot produce an heir in the usual way. We know that this is fresh in her mind because it isn’t something she brings up often, but after the conversation with Tyrion she discusses it not once but twice with Jon. 

The combination of these two factors has humbled her considerably. She seems lost and broken, and her overall demeanor reminds me a bit of Melisandre after Stannis’s loss at Winterfell. Dany never believed that she was really vulnerable to attack with the dragons. Earlier in season 7 she says to Tyrion that she would be safe if she made an assault on the Lannisters because she would have the dragons to protect her. It doesn’t even occur to her that they could die. And so I think that makes Viserion’s death even worse than the loss of a regular person. She took it for granted that her dragons were almost invincible, and then he died. Horribly. 

So that death + seeing the Army of the Dead + reminder that when she herself dies, the Targaryen line will end has clearly dealt a huge blow to Dany’s confidence. In all of 7.07, she just seems different. She’s quiet, eyes downcast, voice much softer (even when talking to Cersei!).

This is the state she’s in when Jon approaches her. So it’s safe to say that Dany is not in a place to be cheekily telling him to take his clothes off like she did with Daario the first time they were together. She’s not going command him to let her be on top like she did with Drogo. She’s in this passive, doubtful state. In short: she needs comfort. And I think that is shown when it’s Jon who knocks on her door, and Jon who is clearly the dominant person in the sex scene. 

I’m not by any means trying to suggest that Dany didn’t want it or wasn’t in the mood and that Jon just showed up and took over. I’m just trying to say that Dany was in a place where she needed comfort–physically and emotionally–and that Jon stepped up and provided that. He also provided the confidence boost that she likely needed by pursuing her to begin with and then so diligently taking care of her in bed haha. 

The scene is a way of showing us where they’re both at in terms of the power dynamic and emotionally. 

And lastly, I think that the choice is also just a final confirmation of Jon’s feelings after the show gave us a lot of more obvious signals about Dany’s feelings earlier on in the season–her reluctance to let him go in 7.05, her waiting at his bedside for him to wake up in 7.06, etc. This is the part where the writing is sure to prove that the relationship isn’t one-sided and that Jon is just as enthusiastically invested in it as she is.

Thanks for sending this :D

[defineamni]

I Love You Guys So Much part 1

Little did I know I will fall for these precious gems this hard bc literally it hurts but I'm not even complaining. Okay, soft hours alert. I got to admit smtg, like truthfully, I'm mutifandom since the very beginning. I started with stanning Lee Junki in 2010 where I'm basically crying over last the ep of Iljimae on tv (yeah it was a rerun). Then I started to like B1A4 in 2011 (my ult was gongchan) the only gp where I stanned during their debut days. Then in 2012 I started to stan Infinite (& still I am) where literally all my attention went to sunggyu (now I miss him 😭). After that, exo came along in the list in 2013 (it's really hard to choose a bias bc everyone is literally a sweetheart) but since ot12 was broken apart, I'm not as enthusiastic as before (too bad). Now, 2019 is marked as the year where I fell in love with these boys.

Seunghyub, he's an angel. At first I thought he was just a good looking genius (like seriously he is) with a plot twist to be a needy & clingy guy (hahaha) but today, an iglive about his effort to save a fan from being followed by a drunk man around 4am proved that he is more than a gentleman. He even reassured that fan that it wasn't her fault but he just wanted to point out that ladies should be more careful in the society nowadays (which actually 200% true bc he himself a man). Yeah why did he even made an iglive when it's freaking time for ppl to sleep? But I guess he has that intuition bc someone was literally being saved maybe from harassment when he actually read her comment. My heart just drops a thousand uwus for him. Now I'm relieved that there is still a man whom very caring & heroic in this world. Thank you seunghyub for existing 💖 Side note: from his solo vapp live yesterday (yeah so many things happened idek why) apart from the scene where he wanted to eat a 1 week old boiled egg, what I can highlight that, we should never ever mention about how he as a composer/producer should take care of hwebaby's voice when making songs. I mean, I understand why nfias always remind him about that bc most of their songs (especially the latest jp album) require so much hwebaby's effort to pull off high notes (yes ofc bc he has that ability). Imagine 4 hours concert with those powerful songs I think it's not okay for long term effect. But listen, believe me, seunghyub would think more than hundred times before he asks hwebaby to sing for high notes. He would even more conscious about that. He literally someone who loves hwebaby maybe more than any of us do. Well in my opinion maybe he's joking on how we should be concerned about him too (needy self mode on). But then, it's actually true, we love hwebaby but isn't it seunghyub solo live so how about we show him our love more? Love you seungjjang.

Hun. Yes my hun Chahun. He's a cat, no matter which angle I look, he resembles one a little bit too much. In interviews, he's someone you would describe as "erm he's an ice prince", "I feel intimated when I look into his eyes", "isn't he such an introvert?" etc. But irl life, he gives so much love towards Nfia. Look since I stan, there are maybe 5 iglives (oh yeah another iglive thing) he did just to talk to fans (not either promotion or obligation). Nothing more, nothing less. He maybe thinking 'oh so today I feel like talking to nfias so yeah how about sudden live'. I mean, hun literally reads the comment from knfias & int-nfias which is adorable. He maybe not that fluent in eng but he tried his best to read our comments & reply wholeheartedly. We've been knew that he hates aegyo but whenever fans ask for wink or anything cute (update: now there is mochi shot as well), he will just do it smoothly. Everytime when we tell him that he's cool, handsome & sweet he would say 'no I'm not, I'm so bitter' like honey don't you know you're the sweetest guys I've ever stan? He's so humble, I never have the urge to protect someone this much. There is this smtg special about hun, what I observed from vapps or other platforms, hun actually a soft boi where he would die in so many uwus for hwebaby whenever hwebaby does an aegyo, makes jokes, dancing, singing etc. Hun fulls with love but I guess fnc has always wanted him to have that cold image which makes me mad.

[heavyarethecrowns]

I don't understand why who are still so mad against Kate & Will. Did Will break up with you to go with Kate to be so rude toward her? Why always criticize her for "breaking protocol" when Meghan always breaks it and you don't say a single word about it? " (well, @ least, we know that u obviously know NOTHING about it because do you remember when u killed kate for having smtg armpit? I don't see you do the same for Meghan). You're patethic.

Wow so much to play with here, 

I don't understand why who are still so mad against Kate & Will - I am guessing you mean why you are still so mad? If so, I am not mad at them, Frustrated, annoyed perhaps but not mad. 

Did Will break up with you to go with Kate to be so rude toward her? - now that I have thrown up a little at the thought of dating William (seriously just the thought gives me nightmares!) no I am not one of the many women he dated or cheated on with Kate. Nor am I rude to her. It is called critical thinking, perhaps you, other Kate fans and many other on tumblr, royal and otherwise, may want to look that word up as it is near extinct on tumblr. 

Why always criticize her for "breaking protocol" when Meghan always breaks it and you don't say a single word about it? - you mean like when I said the slit Meghan had on that summer dress was not appropriate? Oh wait, that would involve reading the blog and the likes that send this message never actually read the blog before sending messages! But anyhow, Meghan with a slit, Meghan not wearing all black when others are saying she is, all is far different to Kate literally showing her bare behind on every tour she has done. So obv the same level of discourse will not happen. 

(well, @ least, we know that u obviously know NOTHING about it because do you remember when u killed kate for having smtg armpit? I don't see you do the same for Meghan). - now on to the fun part!

thanks to Royals and their staff talking about protocol and me actually paying attention and listening, unlike all those saying protocol doesn’t exist I am aware of the rules, thanks, unlike those in denial therefore showing their lack of royal knowledge, research and just general awareness of being an adult with a job. 

I have not killed Kate, she is still alive and well we saw her just the other day, we got pics and everything

having smtg armpit - I don’t even know what this sentence is, I also have never used Kate and armpit in the same sentence, ever! In 17 years of Kate watching/talking I have never had them in the same sentence so I don’t know what weird thing you are imagining right now!

You're patethic. - No, I and no one else is ever pathetic, or patethic as you say. However the action of sending this, in the hope of this actually doing something other than me wondering if I should even waste my time on a message on this, is pathetic. As messages like this do nothing to me, hurtful? nope, upset me? no, make me want to leave? never and they will never change my mind on Kate or the fans she has like you who actually do the opposite and make me like her less.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

Hello! I'm hoping you are well. I just want to say I love your blunt/possitive posts about fiction not being reality, personal responsibility, authors' responsibility if it even applies...just all of it. Really, major kudos to you for being so blunt!

Aw thank you! Yes, I am doing well. Hope you’re doing well, too. I took a decent break from tumblr, and now I’m getting back into the swing of things, there are fanworks to reblog here

(I’m sorry that this response got kind of long, there are things in here I’ve expressed before, and some I may not have, or haven’t mentioned in awhile, and I kind of want to have these things out there for ppl to see where I’m coming from.)

Your message really means a lot, bc I feel like, if I have any responsibility to the fandom as a somewhat popular blog, that I have to stand up for shippers and creators of fanworks. Fanworks are the lifeblood of the fandom, both for the creators and the consumers. Fanworks are made for free (or on commission) by smaller creators who need the encouragement more. Being smaller and more accessible, they’re also easy & more responsive targets for harassment than the published creators :-P

And so when you see it from that perspective, you can understand that when I reblog those fiction =/= reality, pro-shipping, and anti anti posts, it’s coming from a place of good intention. I identify with those easy targets who are criticized for their creation/consumption of published works and fanworks. I was bullied for pretty superficial reasons in my formative years, not an unusual amount/degree of bullying, but it hurt. “Oh, but words can’t hurt you!”

And this part of the story is my own attachment to canon (and, later, fandom), before I was even aware of others. Do we sever our attachment to something bc smne else says that their connection to it is more valid? I feel like fandom is limitless, it’s big enough for all of us.

Media/Fiction was an escape from reality for me. It was a place I could find inspiration, could see characters beaten down (by antagonists and/or their own faults) and rise up again and again, in so many variations! Even the same plot points can yield different emotions when told in different ways, and/or involving different characters. Characters refusing to lay down and submit to their obstacles/antagonists was inspiring and helped me rebuild the self-confidence the bullies had crushed. 

So that was my story, as valid as any. I love stories of how ppl got into VC (or any fandoms/media really!), and there are so many. I don’t think that any reason is more valid than any other. 

There are those who saw themselves reflected in the fact that there are queer/LGBT+ characters, that they existed and had depth and could love and be loved in return. 

Someone told me that they shared a love of history with their father, especially of Rome. The father passed away when the person was young, and so they loved the historical explorations in canon, it seemed to bring them closer to that lost parent. In fact, the act of pointing out historical inaccuracies in canon was enjoyable to this person.

There are those who passionately adore Armand, for all his beauty, strength, and sass, the fact that he is a survivor of so much tragedy. “We must be beautiful, powerful, and without regret.”

There are those who love the quiet and dignified manner of Louis and how he burns everything down handles situations. 

There are those who live for the ~purple prose~ and ~wealth porn~, in the loving descriptions of luxury, the declarations of love and 3 pages of describing how pretty a character is.

… etc. etc.

^And fanworks based on the media consumed may relate to the fans’ reasons for getting into that fandom in the first place. I like to think my memes and fanfic show the same refusal to quit that I valued so much in the characters when I read canon. I would think that other writers/artists/etc. would say smtg similar, that their fanworks are their way of engaging with canon, whether it’s to have more of what they enjoy about it, fix and/or explore a character/ship/situation, or take the characters into different situations (like AU) and see how they might fare within changed parameters. Ppl analyze canon and critique it, comparing it to other fiction/non-fiction to lay out their ideas. Ppl might want to dress like the characters and act like them in cosplay! So many ways to engage with canon. And then you have comments on works and works inspired by fanworks and that’s p. much the definition of fandom, to my mind.

HOWEVER.

In my zeal for reblogging posts (and writing my own) about defending shippers and creators/consumers of published media and fanworks, I can be too blunt, and unintentionally injure others. I trust ppl to inform me privately if a post goes over the line in that regard, and I have responded by editing/deleting posts. This blog isn’t sacred, editing/deleting a post is not a sign of weakness, but of curating it to better serve my needs and those who come to it for whatever reason. 

Bc my blog really is at its core about entertainment and encouragement/sharing of fanworks.

It’s hard for me to sit in silence about attacks on shippers and creators/consumers of published media and fanworkswhen I feel like if I don’t speak up, silence is tacit agreement when ppl state, “Don’t draw/write/talk about X bc it is harmful to Y” I understand that some ppl do have real triggers and some fictional characters/ships are painful to them, but on the other hand, is it fair to restrict everyone else who wants to explore those characters/ships? 

We have to find ways to coexist, and that may mean everyone taking on some responsibility for their fandom experience and extending respect towards others. Someone asked me to tag a certain ship, and now I do, so that they can block it. I can’t tag every possible thing, but within reason, I will add tags on request.

I don’t believe in censorship when it comes to fiction, for many reasons, there are blogs out there who are much more eloquent than I am in their defense of it. I don’t have their rhetoric. But I feel like I need to defend those who are easy targets for bullying (as I had been).

^^^With all that said, I think it would be best for me to refrain from too much of this type of posting so as not to trample others. Instead, I want to focus on encouraging fanworks, reblogging posts about writing/art and advice about that.  

(If you are looking for more blogs that defend fanfiction, I can recommend more to you privately, or in a separate post.) 

[bitter-bitchbites]

Genuine question, if being trans isn't seen as a medical condition isn't that a bad thing? Insurance wouldn't cover life saving surgeries/hormones, so isn't that detrimental and against the trans communities interests?

“fair” point in theory, but you’re not seeing the matter from the right angle, because you got a transantagonistic and cissexist bias.

being trans isn’t a medical condition and it does not inherently implies medical care. 

transitioning does. like, yeah, hrt, surgeries, stuff that some trans people need so their dysphoria stop beating them in a metaphorical bloody pulp, because they need their body changed so they stop feeling so suicidal. insurance should cover that, because yeah, their mental health and life depend on it.

and no, the “trans” isn’t short for “transitionning”. it’s short for “transgender”, that was thought to contrast with “cisgender”, and “trans” has the sense of “crossing to the other/another side here, while “cis” means staying on the same side one starts on, more or less. that’s ancient greek, i think. so being trans isn’t defined by transitionning. transitionning is a choice, and sometimes it’s not, because sometimes it’s the only solution to not break because of dysphoria.

because of course, dysphoria is also its own medical thing, it’s a mental disorder, that can cause depression, self harm, self hatred, and suicidal urges.

but not every trans person has deadass terrible dysphoria that we can’t deal with without changing our bodies at a high price. some have mild dysphoria, that they can deal with haircuts, different clothes, and shaping their bodies in one they like themselves as and all. sometimes it’s bargaining because they can’t afford surgery, but sometimes, they just don’t feel like they need surgery. and yeah im mainly talking about nb trans ppl, altho there gotta be binary trans ppl who are like that too. i just know that it’s smtg we nb ppl often feel like. 

nonbinary ppl show that (hence why transmedicalists aka truscums hate us, tho idk why they care so much about pathologizing us and themselves). we don’t always hate our body. there are trans ppl, nb or not, that don’t suffer dysphoria, because dysphoria isn’t smtg you’re born with, it’s a disorder that’s caused by a bad environment that triggers it. 

extreme example, imagine a trans boy who’s forced at age 0 into pink dresses, pink shoes, pink hats, drinks from pink cups, in a pink chair, sleeps in a pink bed, in a pink room. and he’s said “you’re a girl girly girl” all the time, goes to dancing class because “that’s what girls do”, is put on make up cuz “that’s what girls like” and can’t put on pants cuz “that’s not a girl thing”. forced in a cissexist bs mold. a nightmare. it’s not that that makes him a boy, he was a boy at age 0, regardless or circumstances; but he grew in an environment he could not be comfortable exploring his identity and questioning his assigned gender. and that’s going to worsen his already possible dysphoria. 

but being trans isn’t what’s going to make him break down and slap his abusive mother with that fucking pink violin, and run away to live with his bf in the next state raising cats, no, that’s his anger caused by the hurt of his many mental illnesses, dysphoria being one of them.

being trans doesn’t cause pain. it’s dysphoria’s fault. and not every trans person has dysphoria, and sometimes nb ppl have dysphoria, and sometimes not and they’re still trans, and some trans ppl’s dysphoria goes away at some point. but being trans doesn’t.

and take me for example. i have dysphoria. had it since i was 10. im a demigirl. that’s a nb(trans) woman identity. but i don’t wanna change my body with surgery. i don’t want to take away parts of myself, because i got enough of that, and i want to love my body. so instead i wanna add stuff, like letting my body hair do its thing, and not wearing bras and getting muscles, and asking ppl to use they/them for me, and not try and push me into being whatever tf they think a cis girl does. and that, plus mental work on my image, helped me tone down my dysphoria. maybe i’ll see if i can get hormones, if it doesn’t turn out i already have pocs. i was sick because of my dysphoria. not because im trans.

there’s a lot of cases like this that are weird and hard to understand, maybe, but they all point to one thing: the problem is dysphoria and other mental illnesses caused by being misgendered and abused.

i wanna be trans. i like that. it’s good, it’s me, it helps me, the community is mostly nice, im at peace with that label, and i don’t want to have it taken off. because that’s what it’d mean, to see transidentity as a medical condition. it’s be an illness. something to correct, to fight, to destroy. i don’t want to fight myself. neither does the majority of trans ppl.

so no, not pathologizing transidentity isn’t anywhere near detrimental to the trans community. because we still have valid problems that deserve specific attention, we still have dysphoria, we still want to transition, and we deserve the health care that we need to cope with cissexist abuse. the problem isn’t being trans. it’s the environment, the ppl, the society we live in. and doctors already know that. they don’t allow you to get hrt on insurance because you’re trans. they do because they dx you have dysphoria. that’s literally how they decide if we deserve to get the treatment we know we need. sometimes they won’t even dx ppl with dysphoria that they have dysphoria, because they��re “too mentally ill for that”, or “too sane to be trans”. and hormones don’t even cost as much as we gotta pay them. the prices are artificially inflated, like most medicines, because a compagny own them.

trans ppl don’t need to be pathologized to get the issues linked to our marginalized identity acknowledged. insurance would/should cover surgery and hrt regardless of what ppl think being trans is. because when we say we got a fucking problem or need things, we should be listened.

we would be, if our society cared. we wouldn’t be pathologized if our governments weren’t cissexist trans-hating little shits.

another example, a comparison this time. being afab isn’t an illness. but we still need medical attention, like detecting breast and uterus cancers, or other gyneacological treatment that can be a matter of life and death. and to that, you add the mental baggage caused by being in a mysoginistic cissexist patriarchy. sounds like worth being covered by insurance, uh? well not to many pseudo-civilized countries, but to the happiest on earth, it does, and it works. and yet being afab, especially a cis woman, isn’t an illness, or a curse.

because yeah, we also used to think that women were inherently sick and taht they needed men’s guidance and validation to be allowed to live, it’s just the same fucking mentality, but applied to trans ppl, with cis ppl. 

we’re not the correct gender, we don’t even perform it correctly, so we’re not worth being cared and listened to.

that’s victim blaming. that’s putting ppl under oppression, making them grow in a toxic environment they can’t escape from because it’s their very identity that’s thought to be inherently hostile, and we tell them it’s their fault. that they’re sick and that’s it.

considering being trans a medical condition is fucking murder. you’re placing the power in cis ppl’s hands doing that, because that means we’re to be corrected, and only them can do that. it also gatekeeps from getting treatment. it also misplaces the blame on our identity when it should be on our oppression.

being transmedicalist is allyship to the cistem. that’s believing the lie they made up to say we only deserve care if we accept that we’re sick, and to be ashamed.

im repeating myself, but insurance should cover our treatments for our dysphoria, and let us do what we wish of our bodies and identity as we endanger no one. nobody is allowed to call us ill for what we are while ignoring what we suffer of. we should get at least partially insurance covered surgery and hrt and completely insurance covered when we have dysphoria. it’s possible. spain does it, in good enough conditions. yeah, spain, the catholic country that was still a royalist dictatorship fourty years ago. and france too, can do the insurance coverage, even if it’s harder because you need psychiatric approval first, which is bs and intrusive. 

we aren’t sick for being trans, we deserve to be listened on our terms, that’s not a fleeting dream, and that’s not up to debate. 

and we’re going to change shit so we can get that.