#I used to think that being a part of smtg like this would mean that ppl cared abt me enough to think of me that way

[bbibbirose]

heard the strangest story

[ilovemylawyer]

helloooo thank you so much for writing the fic i requested 💗💗💗💗💗

i just wanted to say that in "as a corpse" where dongsoo have to spoonfeed doyoung because bro was absolutely gone, i was fixated on that part for some reason,, it's like an evident act of dominance on his part, something about the idea of controlling the portion he eats is so evil but obvi for doyoung it's like sign of utmost faith it's not like his lawyer will drug it or smtg hehee. i was having lots of thoughts about this randomly anyways i hope doyoung gets handfed by dongsoo often 🥰 maybe to the point he will throw a hissy fit to dongsoo via facetime when he has to use his own two hands lmaoo

hi!!!!!!!! <3333 responding to you here before i get to ur comments on ao3 <33 hiii hiiii hiiiiii good eveningggg!!!!

you are so welcome!! thank YOU for requesting!!! come back for more anytime, seriously!!! i love being given tasks and then completing them for the enjoyment of strangers through screens <3 i am sorry tho i had to change it from ohjae walking into something to him getting trapped... i just cannot imagine him walking in on some lawyer/client freakage and not like. immediately running away. LOL.

and WAAAAAH T_T WAAAAAAH (crying like little baby) WAAH!!! waaaahh!!! i put more blood sweat and tears into As A Corpse than like, all of the rest of my published fics combined. it was seriously SO difficult to write such an openly evil evil evil lawyer... and since i finished and posted it, i've felt pretty consistently UnConfident about it. i think i turned my little lovesick series down a dark dark path and i don't REGRET it, but i feel guilt about it.. i did NOT know it would get so heavy.. because of its weight i feel like it is very unpalatable compared to my other fics.. BUT. YOU ENJOY A SPECIFIC PART OF IT!! WAHHHOOOOOO!!!! i am honored that my little scene stuck with you :] this new knowledge comforts and heals me. thank u <3

i will now ramble about handfeeding/food in general...

we never see doyoung eat in the show. not once. he drinks but never eats. to me, he's too busy... too preoccupied with lawyerlove... no time for lame boring human things like eating food and getting rest (we also never see him sleep)... i find this significant because in comparison, we see dongsoo eat A LOT. he's a hungry guy. hungry for more more more. bottomless stomach type of attorney...

but we do see doyoung constantly feeding dongsoo in the show (stay with me) doyoung HandFeeds dongsoo his whole lifestyle. he feeds him easy money and a car and confidence and independence (and most importantly POWER). having dongsoo feed doyoung actual digestible >FOOD< is just one of the ways i try to flip them around... i like to say the quiet/inbetween parts out loud... if that makes sense...

it is objectively true that dongsoo Needs doyoung. not that he realizes this before its too late BUT!!!! if he HAD!!! then i think dongsoo would pull out quite a few stops to keep doyoung sated and sitting so that he (DS) can really take Everything over.

including doyoung... RE: dominance. yeah. i mean dongsoo's whole entire Thing is that he desires power. he wants to FEEL powerful and he wants tangible real life nearby close intimate Power over other people. if he isn't on the top then he is uneasy. he starts off only wanting to not be used/taken advantage of/mistreated but we are privileged enough to watch dongsoo come to NEED that power. this is something that doyoung knows from ep4 onward. doyoung knows that the power makes dongsoo tick, knows dongsoo NEEDS it so bad...(DY needs DS just as much if not more than DS needs him btw)... so yes its absolutely a dominance thing BUT doyoung is not ignorant to this. it is just the creative ways in which ds does what he wants to get what he wants that might be lost on others..

re: DRUGGING. EVILIVE is so super dongsoo-oriented which i am very grateful for, because that means i can make my own decisions about dy's issues and such just going off of the little scraps that the show gives us. in the scene where dy is drugged he gets the FUCKKKKKKK out of there, reckless driving DUI etc, and ends up in jail. so lets say this is his first experience with drugs... (he is an athlete, takes care of his body, doesn't smoke. i think it is fair to say he never dabbled)... doyoung was unexpectedly drugged by his allies (Team Members) and so to him, its a backstabby kind of thing. it isn't cool to get drugged. i barely barely momentarily mention this in midnight feelings, when dongsoo actually did spike dy's drink. ("don't do that again"+"don't do it again"). but the filthy slimy hungry lawyer will probably do it again. because he is evil. especially if we are talking no betrayal+sustainable business, because if they keep going on together, surely they'll make some drug connections eventually..

and finally re: HISSY FIT. i think doyoung is smart usually. i see him as a (mostly, until/un,less directly provoked) silent misbehaver. like he might not immediately start breaking things over dongsoo's refusal/inability to feed him but he May skip three meals in a row in rebellion..

I hope like. 10% of this makes some sense. i love talking about this relationship and this show but i SUCK at articulating my beliefs about it out-of-narrative </3 LUV U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME BACK ANY TIME <3

[disaster-j]

At first I was sure Sean knew (or well, would figure it out just like novel Sean) about White but at this point I'm just so conflicted idk. Like... I doubt he would know unless

1. he had a previous information (see: novel Sean, could be also show Sean checking out internet and finding out that way but idk how high the possibility of that is since then why wouldn't they know already about the twins?) OR

2. he saw "Black" doing smtg weird (like White changing clothes in car and going to meet his father or smtg)

Because logically there is no way Sean would figure out its White without one of these things, right? What's the probability that your gang mate has a twin brother who would pretend to be him?

I just can't imagine how the creators want to do the whole reveal thing and I'm so curious about it.

I used to be sure Sean would find out based on some information but the creators decided to change Sean's background which I absolutely love by the way but I feel like it also rules out the possibility of Sean previously knowing twins.

Which way do you think they'll choose to go?

I get what you mean but I also think Sean does Know that White isn't your regularly scheduled Black. So much of his current frustrations come from Black not acting like Black at all and thinking he's the only one who is taking this sudden change seriously. I do think a part of his knows it's not Black but ofc he doesn't have the right information to figure out the truth. So for now all he can do is struggle with the confusing feelings he gets around White.

I think that Sean will figure out White isn't Black tho. Like, he'll know the truth of who White is. Maybe by looking Black up or spying, there's lots of ways to find out really. It just makes sense to me. First of all, he's been accusing Black of not being himself this whole time. Secondly, in the mock trailer there's a scene where he straight up tells White he knows he ain't Black. There's also the scene where Sean is vulnerable around White and seems to tell him something Important about himself. I don't believe Sean would do that if he actively thought that was Black. My prediction is that that scene is actually him testing "Black" and that the bondage scene happens right after where he confronts White about knowing he's not really Black.

So that's my guess rn, let's see how close I was once it all finally unravels in the show!

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[thee-crimson-witch]

Day 1, 2, 23, idk of Gamer Zhongli

So @nyangorogoro030303 suggested: Ok another part to the Zhongli gamer AU because im SUCH A HUGE SIMP AHH. Ok sorry about that. How would Zhongli react when YN gets like a cut scene of her sacrificing smtg that she treasures A LOT for the sake of the city/his sake? Smtg like how Ninguang sacrificed the Jade Chamber, but far more valuble to YN. Smtg sentimental?  

Ok so I see this being something that Y/N had gotten from a dead family member, let’s go with her grandfather, it’s a necklace that’s been in the family lineage for decades, so valuable because the pendant holds elemental energy enough to kill the entire Fatui army. Y/N’s grandfather was the one that trained her since she was so young to be a strong fighter, in this day and age with so many dangerous opponents and monsters, he had always prepared her mentally, physically, and spiritually to be a warrior. 

Of course, she loves her grandpappy with her entire life, to which Zhongli found endearing, he loved seeing soft Y/N. But he died in an attack on their village, leaving her with the gift he had given. She kept it so dear to her and knew to never let it get into the wrong hands, god forbid she’d have to use it :(, she just wanted to make her grandfather proud, telling the story to anyone puts her in tears. 

Well, spoke too soon. The Abyss Order now took sight of the ancient heirloom, deciding already that it would be theirs to keep once they can sense where the little jewelry is located. You felt uneasy, like you were being watched, so you gave Zhongli’s character the necklace, told him to keep it safe as best as he possibly could. Of course while keeping it safe, Zhongli found himself having to fight pesky abyss mages, that damned hydro abyss mage. He completed the challenge, and went back to your location to see you gone! 

Paimon was suspicious and angry again, you had a knack for putting them in danger like this with something so precious. The pendant began glowing, they knew they had to run, the Abyss was locating it. This was their final recipe to rid of the human race, not a trace left back of them. It took a while, asking around to citizens of Liyue, but someone mentioned you left for Dragonspine, hoping your presence here in Liyue wouldn’t harm anyone. Zhongli was confused with you for a bit, why’d you leave him in danger? 

You didn’t even know they were looking for the necklace, you thought it was you. 

It took some puzzles and searching in Dragonspine to find you at the peak, staring out into space. “You worried Paimon, don’t run off like that again!” Paimon crossed her arms in complaint. “O-oh, I don’t think you’re quite safe around me, please go where... I won’t get you hurt Traveler.” No. Zhongli frowned, what about the friendship? Your eyes widened at what you saw at the base of the mountain, Abyss Mages? Great, you were just an enemy spawn. 

“Y/N, it’s the pendant!” Paimon cried. “Oh! Of course!” But there was so many Abyss Mages, not what you both could handle together! They were trashing on Fatui left and right as you watched with eyes blown wide open and a slack jaw. “I have to stop this! Traveler.” Your eyes filled with tears, Zhongli hoped you weren’t about to do what he thought you would, skipping through some of the dialogue with an expression of disbelief. “I have to sacrifice it, it’s what they want, but there’s too many of them.” “Be a fighter! You can do this, your grandfather wouldn’t like you giving into this so soon!” He chose the dialogue choice to agree with Paimon, you can do this. 

“I want to protect you, you mean too much to me- and everyone else. I’m going to give it up.”

Zhongli’s legs were kicking under his desk unknowingly, you cared about him that much? 

Screenshots the moment you look into his eyes with a smile. Lovely but devastating. 

He watches as you hold onto M/C’s hand, reaching for your pendant from his neck. 

You held it to your chest, it lit up again as the energy released itself, the shockwave so bright and powerful.

Paimon almost got thrown all the way across Teyvat. 

The camp at the base of the mountain was full of confused onlookers, just what in the world?

Chances are that what you said was slightly a love confession, at least he hoped? 

The last surviving Abyss Mage breathed in and out harshly, before teleporting to the top. 

It wasn’t to attack you, but a declaration of peace. 

“To think, that that thing had so much power... yet it only did so little to the land, mediocre. We don’t want anything to do with such a human like you!” It disappeared. 

Zhongli was proud, be scared of Y/N, yes. But the pendant was way too overhyped, you agreed. 

It wasn’t that powerful. God your grandfather could overexaggerate. 

[animaniachan]

ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏꜰɪʟᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʀɪʀᴜʜᴀᴘɪ, ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴇʟʟᴀ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀᴏᴘᴘᴇʟʟᴀ!

ꜰʏᴀ’ᴍ’ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ! ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪꜱᴍ! ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ Qᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇꜰꜰᴏʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ! ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ, ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀ�� ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ.

ʟᴀꜱᴛʟʏ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ! ᴀʟꜱᴏ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ!

ᴇᴅɪᴛ: ʏ’ᴀʟʟ ɪᴅᴋ ᴡʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ɪꜱ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ ꜱᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ ᴇᴅɪᴛꜱ. ꜱᴏ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’ꜱ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ. ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪx ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʟɪᴋᴇ 30 ᴍɪɴꜱ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛᴛ

•

riruhapi’s name can also be translated into lil’ happy. but since idk if the devs meant this translation i’m just gonna leave it as the original katakana pronunciation.

otowa high is a metropolitan high school meaning that it is directly governed by the state. metropolitan in japanese is “toritsu” this is also where the name team toritsu or toritsu-gumi comes from when referring to riruhapi and “shiritsu” on the other hand, means “private school” and that’s why team shiritsu or shiritsu-gumi is used to refer to fya’m’

otowa high is a metropolitan high school meaning that it is directly governed by the state. metropolitan in japanese is “toritsu” this is also where the name team toritsu or toritsu-gumi comes from when referring to riruhapi and “shiritsu” on the other hand, means “private school” and that’s why team shiritsu or shiritsu-gumi is used to refer to fya’m’

edit: from now on, otowa will be referred to as a public high school based on the english official translation! just to clarify, the reason i didn’t initially translate it to “public” is because public is usually referred as “kouritsu” 公立 in japanese instead of “toritsu” 都��� so it was semi-confusing TT

the two emblems/logos you see at the top left of riruhapi’s image is of their school emblem and group logo respectively. top one is school logo, bottom is group logo.

Suzumiya Hajime:

“my-pace” is essentially a term used to describe people who does things at their own pace without being considerate of others around them. in hajime’s case, he often causes some trouble to others by being so my-paced.

his name is hajime (means “the beginning” in japanese) because his birthday is 1/1

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite food is miso

his hobby is watching game livestreams and he’s a big fan of a streamer named “zou” (the name also means “elephant” in japanese)

what he likes about a cappella: all of it

others introduce him as the following:

he’s unbelievably directionally challenged

he’s super duper good at singing

and he looks at his smartphone way too much

a word to his group members: “from now on, let’s do our best together!”

Tanba Rin:

his name is actually a pun—can’t figure it out? repeat it a few times in your head and you’ll see :))

the third section of his translations which includes the “clown” and his “comebacks” refers to the typical japanese comedy style of “boke” and “tsukkomi.” you see a lot of it in japanese comedians and manzai where one person intentionally acts dumb and air headed so the other can reprimand them as a joke.

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite foods are ramen, beef bowls, fast food, and basically food that he can gobble down a lot at once

his hobby is bike touring

what he likes about a cappella: it feels good to be able to sing loudly and it’s fun to do things like this with everyone

others introduce him as the following:

he works the same part-time with maito

he’s the most fashionable in his group

his tsukkomi’s are smooth af

a word to his group members: “i’ll never get bored when i’m around you guys!”

Kariyazono Michitaka:

he’s in class 1-C

his favourite foods are milk, dairy products, and all dishes that use milk in them

his hobby is randonneuring (but by himself)

what he like about a cappella: we can make people smile with our singing

others introduce him as the following:

he helps at his dad’s shop and cares about his family a lot

he wants to drink latte art someday

you would want an older brother like him

a word to his group members: “it’ll be great if we can keep singing forever and ever with these members...!”

Shihou Luka:

luka’s last line in his character dialogue is translated to “i’ll always be watching over you” but the original japanese phrases means more like “i’ll always be watching you” if translated directly. even if it’s not meant to sound creepy, it kind of does when directly translated over so therefore i added the “over.” but basically think of it like he’ll always have his eyes on you (non-creepy ofc :p)

he’s in class 1-A

his favourite food is the vegetable-filled blt that his father makes

his hobby is going to the gym

what he likes about a cappella: he can come closer to being his ideal self through the support from everyone

others introduce him as the following:

the smiling prince

he’s kind of an airhead

he worries about calories way too much

a word to his group members: “singing in front of other people, this was something my past self could’ve never imagined...it’s thanks to all to you, thank you.”

Soenji Sayo:

when referring to sayo’s “overwhelming behaviours due to his wealthy family background,” i’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean that he acts like a spoiled brat. in this context, it’s more so referring to how he does unthinkable actions (like calling a helicopter to help search for a missing cat or smtg idk) for everyday trivial problems.

sayo refers to his twin brother as “asaharu-niisan” because due to japanese culture, even if they are twins, there are instances where the younger one refers to the older one as “older brother/sister.” and sayo respects the hell out of asaharu hence “niisan” with the “san” honorific

sayo’s name means “rainy night” in japanese where asaharu’s name means “sunny morning”

he’s in class 2-D

his favourite food is french cuisine (the specific dish name is too long)

his hobbies are visiting airfields (to fly planes I assume???) and reading

what he likes about a cappella: he can make the audience happy by giving form to his emotions with the people he likes

others introduce him as the following:

knowledgeable

occasionally air-headed

he can actually do kado (japanese flower arrangement)

a word to his group members: “the high school life that i’ve experienced with everyone is one of the most precious treasures in my life.”

[yiulee999]

Hey! What do you think of OPM season 2? I still love it & am looking forward to next weeks new episode but i just wish Saitama had more screen time ;-(

hey nonny~! 

apologies for the late reply, its a combo of not getting notifications (tumblr u useless trashbucket) and being on surgery rotation (i miss sleeping so much) 

firstly, i am truly glad you still love it and look forward to the new episodes!!! 💖����💖please dont let anything i say from this point on dissuade you from that enjoyment 

THAT BEING SAID 

///cut for length 

ive only watched up to the second episode, and i am having Such Difficulties convincing myself to keep watching. i know my rxns to ep 1 were overall pretty positive and I stand by it but the more i watch the more the Cringe/Hypercritique starts take over. 

Turns out, the art style had a bigger impact than i thought on the length of which i enjoy shows. personally, i just really like when anime/shows have a happy marriage between writing and artwork. and when show directors know how to interpret writing, how to set up a scene (the angle, the music, the pacing), and then communicate with artists who have the skills to bring that idea to life using the medium they’re given -- that’s when writing becomes storytelling. OPM’s writing is still fantastic since they’re going off ONE (whereas GoT has the opposite problem where the production value is 4K and the writing is early 2000s livejournal/fanfiction lol god why is everyone dropping the ball in 2019??)

As for the art, since opm switched to jc staff and shingo natsume & co. left for other projects ( ;;_____;; im emo ), its inevitable we would see a drop in animation quality and i find myself constantly getting distracted by things i never used to get concerned about in the first season (bc of the high bar of expectations set by s1 artists/directors, like theres just no way jc staff would match up it to all of that and i feel bad for them, they’re trying their best but that doesn’t mean theyre immune to critique on the artistic liberties that they’ve taken that i feel as a viewer, may not have been the best choice?) 

the shading: no, just, unnecessary and distracting and why is it the center of saitamas face, im by far no expert in lighting but a bish can tell something doesnt look right??? 

the shading pt II: color choices. just gonna say i was not expecting sai’s ‘hair shirt’ in ep 1 to be bright-ass neon green, it was a little jarring at first and i miss him in red ;-; i get hes supposed to have poor fashion choices but i dont see him as the type to pick something that stands out so much in the crowd, like he likes to be left alone. NEON doesnt really relay ‘hi dont mind me im just barely existing here lol’ 

the shading pt III: genos arms/neck. okaY so the bby looks good in screenshots. like he’s shiny and nice to look at when nothings moving. bUT this is animation?? movement of objections is different from still life manga so making every single scene almost 99% like murata’s panels translates a little awkwardly to the screen (like staff is lucky bc murata’s a force of nature with his panels playing out like a movie for ref). but when genos moves, the arms are just distracting bc everything around him is drawn simply without shadows so they stand out by themselves and i (visually) forget about the rest of him haha. 

the pacing: it feels scripted, person A says this so we’ll show person A in the shot, then person B is saying something so we have to cut to person B, etc etc like keeping pretty steady to manga lines to the point where i was starting to get bored bc i knew what was coming. it was really intervaled? like someone had to be saying something at a certain effect and i think s1 had more dramatic pauses (lol) but thats how you can place emphasis on scenes to have an emotional impact if the character doesnt say anything and just let the soundtrack do some talking and the cadence of the script will change too (im 10000% talking about the sunset scene in s1 god bless. like it was slow, there was MOOD there wasn’t any rush and really gave the viewer time to think about the relationship between the two characters and what that moment meant to each of them) i feel like there were several scenes that could have been more like in the scene where sai protected fubuki, could have been a little more dramatically emphasized (aka just a pause) so the viewer could get a chance to understand that he purprosefully shielded her or when genos says that strong heroes are drawn to saitama--bUT nope its the same pace, like c l o c k w o r k just like my t eARS--

the fight scenes: how do i even start. the one scene that got me INTO opm (like watching the anime, reading the manga, drawing fanart, writing fanfic, reading fanfics etc) was kickstarted by the fight scene between genos and saitama in s1 that was circulating on tumblr a while back. i thought the characters were interesting and the fight was badass and it just looked SO COOL. (also the forehead flick at the end just kinda sealed my fate). going from that to s2 fight scenes where its mostly cut scenes and freeze scenes?? where theres a cut out behind the characters back?? during a fight scene????? this isn’t a calling card or an anime opening??? i dont understand. when they dont do cut scenes, its interesting but my initial impression is just underwhelmed. i can find good parts but it feels like i have to replay the scene to notice it? theres also an overwhelming amount of graphics/cgi manipulation that overpowers the actual art sometimes. its lacking some of the fluidity that comes from hand drawn fight scenes from first season. OTL

the sound directing: so i thought that the mood just felt off for certain scenes and the sound didn’t seem to support the scene as well (unless it was like the character’s theme or smtg) and i looked it up and the sound director was also replaced (Yoshikazu Iwanami replacing Shoji Hata). i have no idea if the sound director is also in charge of character lines but there were parts were fubuki was monologuing and i had no idea she was inner monologuing, i thought she was talking out loud and that just took extra effort on my part to re-orient myself (im nitpitcking i know but its just how i watch shows lol) 

there are still some parts i like about the animation:

fubuki looks bangin and i love her👌👗

all of this just made me realize how insanely lucky we were to have an amazing s1 and just have it exist and how i really could not care less if they had just waited forever to make s2 as long as we had the same crew come back. but anime is still a business and the quicker they dish out merch/seasons, the more money they can bring in. which they do in the short run but they would bring in more if they spent a little more on quality in the long run and it becomes one of those classics that ppl will rewatch and keep recommending to ppl who want to get into anime and oh my god we’re never gonna have that now, are we. if im gonna rec it to a friend its gonna be ‘read the manga!’ or ‘just watch s1!’ uGH. its just an unfortunate situation, its not one person’s fault either, so many factors go into what made opm s1 so spectacular and seeing s2 just made me appreciate s1 more. i guess im happy to have a s2 regardless? 

i’ll still watch to support (and bc i like suiryuu and wanna see sai in a karate gi and wig lol). maybe i just have to get used to the new style. 

so in summary,

[sheikah]

Ciao :) I’ve been thinking about smtg: you know how even the 7x07 director said how the script of boatsex wasn’t that specific? Well, I noticed that, but there’s one tiny little line that caught my attention: “Jon is on top”.. lol the hell? why would they add a detail like that when they haven’t really said much about the scene except that J&D are making love(which is the main point of it all but still)? Probably there’s no reason at all but I’m just curious about your opinion, if you have one!

Hi, friend! I thought that was a funny little detail, too! But I don’t think it’s just a random, throwaway line. I think there’s a real purpose behind it. In my opinion, there are two reasons for this. 

1. They wanted to emphasize that Jon really wanted this. I think this is the first and most important reason. 

What do we know about Jon? He’s honorable to a fault–he even admits this himself! Because of this, and because of his lingering hangups and self-doubt about being a bastard, he puts more significance on sex than most men do. When other boys his age were sleeping with Winter Town whores, Jon couldn’t do it for fear of fathering a bastard on one. 

Even with Ygritte–who was very outspoken and even aggressive about her willingness to have sex with him–Jon took some time to give in to his feelings and consummate his relationship with her. 

Additionally, he didn’t make a move on Val despite being canonically attracted to/interested in her in the books, and he refused Melisandre’s offer of sex in season 5. 

Putting all of this together, we know that sex is something that Jon doesn’t take lightly. When he lays with a woman, it’s serious business. And so to emphasize the deep emotional attraction between Jon and Dany, D&D made the decision to have Jon be the one actively pursuing their relationship. He is the one to knock on her cabin door. And he is the one on top taking charge of their lovemaking. It just drives home the idea that this isn’t some one-off, titillating sex scene for the audience. This is the real thing. This is love. Otherwise, Jon Snow wouldn’t be involved. And Jon Snow wasn’t coerced or invited like he was with Ygritte. He chose this.

2. Dany isn’t in a place emotionally to be her usual, sexually confident self. This might be more subtle/just my interpretation, but I think the evidence is there. 

Dany has recently been through an extremely trying emotional ordeal. She loses Viserion in a sudden and horrific way, and sees the Army of the Dead for the first time. Just before this happens, the conversation with Tyrion reminds her of her supposed infertility, and clearly makes her uncomfortable. I think the conversation made her feel inferior somehow, or lacking as a monarch since she believes she cannot produce an heir in the usual way. We know that this is fresh in her mind because it isn’t something she brings up often, but after the conversation with Tyrion she discusses it not once but twice with Jon. 

The combination of these two factors has humbled her considerably. She seems lost and broken, and her overall demeanor reminds me a bit of Melisandre after Stannis’s loss at Winterfell. Dany never believed that she was really vulnerable to attack with the dragons. Earlier in season 7 she says to Tyrion that she would be safe if she made an assault on the Lannisters because she would have the dragons to protect her. It doesn’t even occur to her that they could die. And so I think that makes Viserion’s death even worse than the loss of a regular person. She took it for granted that her dragons were almost invincible, and then he died. Horribly. 

So that death + seeing the Army of the Dead + reminder that when she herself dies, the Targaryen line will end has clearly dealt a huge blow to Dany’s confidence. In all of 7.07, she just seems different. She’s quiet, eyes downcast, voice much softer (even when talking to Cersei!).

This is the state she’s in when Jon approaches her. So it’s safe to say that Dany is not in a place to be cheekily telling him to take his clothes off like she did with Daario the first time they were together. She’s not going command him to let her be on top like she did with Drogo. She’s in this passive, doubtful state. In short: she needs comfort. And I think that is shown when it’s Jon who knocks on her door, and Jon who is clearly the dominant person in the sex scene. 

I’m not by any means trying to suggest that Dany didn’t want it or wasn’t in the mood and that Jon just showed up and took over. I’m just trying to say that Dany was in a place where she needed comfort–physically and emotionally–and that Jon stepped up and provided that. He also provided the confidence boost that she likely needed by pursuing her to begin with and then so diligently taking care of her in bed haha. 

The scene is a way of showing us where they’re both at in terms of the power dynamic and emotionally. 

And lastly, I think that the choice is also just a final confirmation of Jon’s feelings after the show gave us a lot of more obvious signals about Dany’s feelings earlier on in the season–her reluctance to let him go in 7.05, her waiting at his bedside for him to wake up in 7.06, etc. This is the part where the writing is sure to prove that the relationship isn’t one-sided and that Jon is just as enthusiastically invested in it as she is.

Thanks for sending this :D

[defineamni]

I Love You Guys So Much part 1

Little did I know I will fall for these precious gems this hard bc literally it hurts but I'm not even complaining. Okay, soft hours alert. I got to admit smtg, like truthfully, I'm mutifandom since the very beginning. I started with stanning Lee Junki in 2010 where I'm basically crying over last the ep of Iljimae on tv (yeah it was a rerun). Then I started to like B1A4 in 2011 (my ult was gongchan) the only gp where I stanned during their debut days. Then in 2012 I started to stan Infinite (& still I am) where literally all my attention went to sunggyu (now I miss him 😭). After that, exo came along in the list in 2013 (it's really hard to choose a bias bc everyone is literally a sweetheart) but since ot12 was broken apart, I'm not as enthusiastic as before (too bad). Now, 2019 is marked as the year where I fell in love with these boys.

Seunghyub, he's an angel. At first I thought he was just a good looking genius (like seriously he is) with a plot twist to be a needy & clingy guy (hahaha) but today, an iglive about his effort to save a fan from being followed by a drunk man around 4am proved that he is more than a gentleman. He even reassured that fan that it wasn't her fault but he just wanted to point out that ladies should be more careful in the society nowadays (which actually 200% true bc he himself a man). Yeah why did he even made an iglive when it's freaking time for ppl to sleep? But I guess he has that intuition bc someone was literally being saved maybe from harassment when he actually read her comment. My heart just drops a thousand uwus for him. Now I'm relieved that there is still a man whom very caring & heroic in this world. Thank you seunghyub for existing 💖 Side note: from his solo vapp live yesterday (yeah so many things happened idek why) apart from the scene where he wanted to eat a 1 week old boiled egg, what I can highlight that, we should never ever mention about how he as a composer/producer should take care of hwebaby's voice when making songs. I mean, I understand why nfias always remind him about that bc most of their songs (especially the latest jp album) require so much hwebaby's effort to pull off high notes (yes ofc bc he has that ability). Imagine 4 hours concert with those powerful songs I think it's not okay for long term effect. But listen, believe me, seunghyub would think more than hundred times before he asks hwebaby to sing for high notes. He would even more conscious about that. He literally someone who loves hwebaby maybe more than any of us do. Well in my opinion maybe he's joking on how we should be concerned about him too (needy self mode on). But then, it's actually true, we love hwebaby but isn't it seunghyub solo live so how about we show him our love more? Love you seungjjang.

Hun. Yes my hun Chahun. He's a cat, no matter which angle I look, he resembles one a little bit too much. In interviews, he's someone you would describe as "erm he's an ice prince", "I feel intimated when I look into his eyes", "isn't he such an introvert?" etc. But irl life, he gives so much love towards Nfia. Look since I stan, there are maybe 5 iglives (oh yeah another iglive thing) he did just to talk to fans (not either promotion or obligation). Nothing more, nothing less. He maybe thinking 'oh so today I feel like talking to nfias so yeah how about sudden live'. I mean, hun literally reads the comment from knfias & int-nfias which is adorable. He maybe not that fluent in eng but he tried his best to read our comments & reply wholeheartedly. We've been knew that he hates aegyo but whenever fans ask for wink or anything cute (update: now there is mochi shot as well), he will just do it smoothly. Everytime when we tell him that he's cool, handsome & sweet he would say 'no I'm not, I'm so bitter' like honey don't you know you're the sweetest guys I've ever stan? He's so humble, I never have the urge to protect someone this much. There is this smtg special about hun, what I observed from vapps or other platforms, hun actually a soft boi where he would die in so many uwus for hwebaby whenever hwebaby does an aegyo, makes jokes, dancing, singing etc. Hun fulls with love but I guess fnc has always wanted him to have that cold image which makes me mad.

[heavyarethecrowns]

I don't understand why who are still so mad against Kate & Will. Did Will break up with you to go with Kate to be so rude toward her? Why always criticize her for "breaking protocol" when Meghan always breaks it and you don't say a single word about it? " (well, @ least, we know that u obviously know NOTHING about it because do you remember when u killed kate for having smtg armpit? I don't see you do the same for Meghan). You're patethic.

Wow so much to play with here, 

I don't understand why who are still so mad against Kate & Will - I am guessing you mean why you are still so mad? If so, I am not mad at them, Frustrated, annoyed perhaps but not mad. 

Did Will break up with you to go with Kate to be so rude toward her? - now that I have thrown up a little at the thought of dating William (seriously just the thought gives me nightmares!) no I am not one of the many women he dated or cheated on with Kate. Nor am I rude to her. It is called critical thinking, perhaps you, other Kate fans and many other on tumblr, royal and otherwise, may want to look that word up as it is near extinct on tumblr. 

Why always criticize her for "breaking protocol" when Meghan always breaks it and you don't say a single word about it? - you mean like when I said the slit Meghan had on that summer dress was not appropriate? Oh wait, that would involve reading the blog and the likes that send this message never actually read the blog before sending messages! But anyhow, Meghan with a slit, Meghan not wearing all black when others are saying she is, all is far different to Kate literally showing her bare behind on every tour she has done. So obv the same level of discourse will not happen. 

(well, @ least, we know that u obviously know NOTHING about it because do you remember when u killed kate for having smtg armpit? I don't see you do the same for Meghan). - now on to the fun part!

thanks to Royals and their staff talking about protocol and me actually paying attention and listening, unlike all those saying protocol doesn’t exist I am aware of the rules, thanks, unlike those in denial therefore showing their lack of royal knowledge, research and just general awareness of being an adult with a job. 

I have not killed Kate, she is still alive and well we saw her just the other day, we got pics and everything

having smtg armpit - I don’t even know what this sentence is, I also have never used Kate and armpit in the same sentence, ever! In 17 years of Kate watching/talking I have never had them in the same sentence so I don’t know what weird thing you are imagining right now!

You're patethic. - No, I and no one else is ever pathetic, or patethic as you say. However the action of sending this, in the hope of this actually doing something other than me wondering if I should even waste my time on a message on this, is pathetic. As messages like this do nothing to me, hurtful? nope, upset me? no, make me want to leave? never and they will never change my mind on Kate or the fans she has like you who actually do the opposite and make me like her less.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

Hello! I'm hoping you are well. I just want to say I love your blunt/possitive posts about fiction not being reality, personal responsibility, authors' responsibility if it even applies...just all of it. Really, major kudos to you for being so blunt!

Aw thank you! Yes, I am doing well. Hope you’re doing well, too. I took a decent break from tumblr, and now I’m getting back into the swing of things, there are fanworks to reblog here

(I’m sorry that this response got kind of long, there are things in here I’ve expressed before, and some I may not have, or haven’t mentioned in awhile, and I kind of want to have these things out there for ppl to see where I’m coming from.)

Your message really means a lot, bc I feel like, if I have any responsibility to the fandom as a somewhat popular blog, that I have to stand up for shippers and creators of fanworks. Fanworks are the lifeblood of the fandom, both for the creators and the consumers. Fanworks are made for free (or on commission) by smaller creators who need the encouragement more. Being smaller and more accessible, they’re also easy & more responsive targets for harassment than the published creators :-P

And so when you see it from that perspective, you can understand that when I reblog those fiction =/= reality, pro-shipping, and anti anti posts, it’s coming from a place of good intention. I identify with those easy targets who are criticized for their creation/consumption of published works and fanworks. I was bullied for pretty superficial reasons in my formative years, not an unusual amount/degree of bullying, but it hurt. “Oh, but words can’t hurt you!”

And this part of the story is my own attachment to canon (and, later, fandom), before I was even aware of others. Do we sever our attachment to something bc smne else says that their connection to it is more valid? I feel like fandom is limitless, it’s big enough for all of us.

Media/Fiction was an escape from reality for me. It was a place I could find inspiration, could see characters beaten down (by antagonists and/or their own faults) and rise up again and again, in so many variations! Even the same plot points can yield different emotions when told in different ways, and/or involving different characters. Characters refusing to lay down and submit to their obstacles/antagonists was inspiring and helped me rebuild the self-confidence the bullies had crushed. 

So that was my story, as valid as any. I love stories of how ppl got into VC (or any fandoms/media really!), and there are so many. I don’t think that any reason is more valid than any other. 

There are those who saw themselves reflected in the fact that there are queer/LGBT+ characters, that they existed and had depth and could love and be loved in return. 

Someone told me that they shared a love of history with their father, especially of Rome. The father passed away when the person was young, and so they loved the historical explorations in canon, it seemed to bring them closer to that lost parent. In fact, the act of pointing out historical inaccuracies in canon was enjoyable to this person.

There are those who passionately adore Armand, for all his beauty, strength, and sass, the fact that he is a survivor of so much tragedy. “We must be beautiful, powerful, and without regret.”

There are those who love the quiet and dignified manner of Louis and how he burns everything down handles situations. 

There are those who live for the ~purple prose~ and ~wealth porn~, in the loving descriptions of luxury, the declarations of love and 3 pages of describing how pretty a character is.

… etc. etc.

^And fanworks based on the media consumed may relate to the fans’ reasons for getting into that fandom in the first place. I like to think my memes and fanfic show the same refusal to quit that I valued so much in the characters when I read canon. I would think that other writers/artists/etc. would say smtg similar, that their fanworks are their way of engaging with canon, whether it’s to have more of what they enjoy about it, fix and/or explore a character/ship/situation, or take the characters into different situations (like AU) and see how they might fare within changed parameters. Ppl analyze canon and critique it, comparing it to other fiction/non-fiction to lay out their ideas. Ppl might want to dress like the characters and act like them in cosplay! So many ways to engage with canon. And then you have comments on works and works inspired by fanworks and that’s p. much the definition of fandom, to my mind.

HOWEVER.

In my zeal for reblogging posts (and writing my own) about defending shippers and creators/consumers of published media and fanworks, I can be too blunt, and unintentionally injure others. I trust ppl to inform me privately if a post goes over the line in that regard, and I have responded by editing/deleting posts. This blog isn’t sacred, editing/deleting a post is not a sign of weakness, but of curating it to better serve my needs and those who come to it for whatever reason. 

Bc my blog really is at its core about entertainment and encouragement/sharing of fanworks.

It’s hard for me to sit in silence about attacks on shippers and creators/consumers of published media and fanworkswhen I feel like if I don’t speak up, silence is tacit agreement when ppl state, “Don’t draw/write/talk about X bc it is harmful to Y” I understand that some ppl do have real triggers and some fictional characters/ships are painful to them, but on the other hand, is it fair to restrict everyone else who wants to explore those characters/ships? 

We have to find ways to coexist, and that may mean everyone taking on some responsibility for their fandom experience and extending respect towards others. Someone asked me to tag a certain ship, and now I do, so that they can block it. I can’t tag every possible thing, but within reason, I will add tags on request.

I don’t believe in censorship when it comes to fiction, for many reasons, there are blogs out there who are much more eloquent than I am in their defense of it. I don’t have their rhetoric. But I feel like I need to defend those who are easy targets for bullying (as I had been).

^^^With all that said, I think it would be best for me to refrain from too much of this type of posting so as not to trample others. Instead, I want to focus on encouraging fanworks, reblogging posts about writing/art and advice about that.  

(If you are looking for more blogs that defend fanfiction, I can recommend more to you privately, or in a separate post.) 

[hamliet]

About Mutsuki and Urie's arcs running as parallels, I like that (exactly like T and K's ones in TG) they are going in opposite directions (and that's why they now find themselves in opposite situations compared to the Auction Arc). Also, it's all abt how they relate to their own vulnerability. In the beginning M shows his vulnerability directly and openly seeks advice and help while U tries to hide it until it explodes in the most inappropriate moments (the auction, when S dies). They are both c

repressing what the Other show more openly: M represses his violent tendencies while U his being vulnerable. Probably I'm oversimplifying bcs at the end of the day in this 2 characters these concepts are linked since the 2 of them search comfort in a system and in violence, but they dio it in a way that it's fundamentally similar, but that appears opposite on a superficial level. I like how in the clonwns' arc they are both faced with a clown who enlightens hidden aspects of themselves. cont.

They both end up destroying the clown clone, but at the price of spiraling further down. It may be interesting to make a comparison btw the way the 2 of them spirals and how it relates to their kagune. I mean, when U goes berserk he usually frames out while M has never lost control of his kagune. Hopefully, by knowing more of how his RC cells work in the next chapter, the comparison would tell us smtg more of their 2 characters. I don't know, I'm missing an interpretative key here.

I think you do a great job explaining this! Yes, Urie and Mutsuki have parallel arcs in the same way as Saiko and Shirazu do, and Touka and Kaneki. There's a reason for this, too.

I'm going to cite @sentrakk's meta here on yin/yang and Touken, Akiramon, and Mutsurie, though I'm not really going to address Akiramon here, or Saiko and Shirazu. I'm going to say that throughout TG and throughout :re, Touka and Kaneki have been paralleling each other in the inverse, and throughout :re, Mutsuki and Urie have been doing likewise. I don't expect either Touken or Mutsurie to end tragically, even if Mutsurie doesn't end up being romantically reciprocated in canon. (but all that buildup is surely leading somewhere)

Currently, Touka's almost where Kuroneki was (don't hurt my loved one--Kaneki--but others are getting hurt and she's accepting it and that's a pattern Ishida's set up and I do not blame her for running at all so don't think I'm condemning her, I'm not--even if she can’t help it that’s what’s happening) and Kaneki's where she was at the start of TG, only waaaaaaaaay more extreme, like The Most Extreme, as Dragon (don't hurt my loved one--Touka--I'll hurt you instead) but neither of them are currently asking why anyone has to get hurt at all. 

And Mutsuki and Urie: currently Mutsuki's where Urie was in the Auction Arc (lashing out at everyone around him in his loneliness) and Urie's where Mutsuki was ((trying to curb his loneliness by conforming to a system). (By the way, I really like what you point out about the Clown raids and the parallels there, and recently, in the 24th raid arc, they both faced battles that really seemed like they could... shock (heh) some sense into them, but they really didn't. Urie made some progress in that he stopped blaming Kuroiwa, but he didn't really realize that he's not supposed to be following in his father's footsteps: he resents his father and wants a family, not to be a top CCG investigator (which is what he currently is)). 

But they're still clinging to the CCG--Mutsuki to the old code, and Urie to the new order, but both still the CCG--hoping to get what they want by following the rules. Mutsuki wants Urie et al to help him exterminate Touka as a ghoul. Urie wants Mutsuki to comply with the new CCG rules and work for the mission. Really, they should be asking whether the CCG is worth working with at all, and whether what they really want is with the CCG (it's not). 

My suspicion for the repression thing is that as Urie's been determined to become stronger by working out and works himself out to the point where he becomes a ghoul, Mutsuki wants to repress or control his RC levels so that he's only got a count of 3, but that leads to him becoming just as strong, if not stronger, than Urie. 

But anyways, what's the point of all these parallel inversed arcs? Yin/yang symbolism has definitely been incorporated with Touken and with Mutsurie too (and Akiramon), and in Jungian stories, which TG definitely has hallmarks of, yin/yang is associated with the anima/animus. 

Jung defined the anima as the feminine part of a male character, and animus as the masculine part of a female character. However, he was talking symbolism, not gender as we understand it (please don't think I'm commenting on Mutsuki's gender, I am not).

Think of the anima/animus as the dot of yin in yang and the dot of yang in yin. So basically, while someone can have traditionally masculine personality traits, they also need to accept the more traditionally feminine( traits they have (like, say, idk, vulnerability. Sound like Urie?) And vice versa. To achieve full individuation (the ultimate goal in Jungian stories) one must integrate with their anima/animus (which btw does not have to be one person, or even a love interest at all, but the yin/yang imagery seems to apply to Touken and Mutsurie so I'm primarily discussing that, even though an argument can be made that all the aces are Kaneki's animuses). 

Urie is not ever going to be attractive to Mutsuki until he learns to be vulnerable, until he opens that goshdarn mouth and says something. Mutsuki needs someone in touch with his compassionate side. And Mutsuki needs Urie's rationality and strength, because unconditional love would offer Mutsuki the freedom he needs to be himself and overcome this lying flaw. Their flaws are so inextricably linked when it comes to overcoming them that it's hard to imagine they won't play a major role to each other’s growth. 

Touka and Kaneki need to learn to value the world together outside of just each other, and they have to do that soon, because they've got a kid on the way and that kid is gonna grow up in this world. This life they've created together--it will guide them to valuing the ghoul cause in the end, I believe that. The baby will be both human and ghoul, yin and yang. Their path to growth lies in each other, as much as it lies in Kaneki accepting his Jungian shadow (the Qs). 

Sorry this is a bit rambling, I’m rather tired right now! But thank you for the ask!

[bitter-bitchbites]

Genuine question, if being trans isn't seen as a medical condition isn't that a bad thing? Insurance wouldn't cover life saving surgeries/hormones, so isn't that detrimental and against the trans communities interests?

“fair” point in theory, but you’re not seeing the matter from the right angle, because you got a transantagonistic and cissexist bias.

being trans isn’t a medical condition and it does not inherently implies medical care. 

transitioning does. like, yeah, hrt, surgeries, stuff that some trans people need so their dysphoria stop beating them in a metaphorical bloody pulp, because they need their body changed so they stop feeling so suicidal. insurance should cover that, because yeah, their mental health and life depend on it.

and no, the “trans” isn’t short for “transitionning”. it’s short for “transgender”, that was thought to contrast with “cisgender”, and “trans” has the sense of “crossing to the other/another side here, while “cis” means staying on the same side one starts on, more or less. that’s ancient greek, i think. so being trans isn’t defined by transitionning. transitionning is a choice, and sometimes it’s not, because sometimes it’s the only solution to not break because of dysphoria.

because of course, dysphoria is also its own medical thing, it’s a mental disorder, that can cause depression, self harm, self hatred, and suicidal urges.

but not every trans person has deadass terrible dysphoria that we can’t deal with without changing our bodies at a high price. some have mild dysphoria, that they can deal with haircuts, different clothes, and shaping their bodies in one they like themselves as and all. sometimes it’s bargaining because they can’t afford surgery, but sometimes, they just don’t feel like they need surgery. and yeah im mainly talking about nb trans ppl, altho there gotta be binary trans ppl who are like that too. i just know that it’s smtg we nb ppl often feel like. 

nonbinary ppl show that (hence why transmedicalists aka truscums hate us, tho idk why they care so much about pathologizing us and themselves). we don’t always hate our body. there are trans ppl, nb or not, that don’t suffer dysphoria, because dysphoria isn’t smtg you’re born with, it’s a disorder that’s caused by a bad environment that triggers it. 

extreme example, imagine a trans boy who’s forced at age 0 into pink dresses, pink shoes, pink hats, drinks from pink cups, in a pink chair, sleeps in a pink bed, in a pink room. and he’s said “you’re a girl girly girl” all the time, goes to dancing class because “that’s what girls do”, is put on make up cuz “that’s what girls like” and can’t put on pants cuz “that’s not a girl thing”. forced in a cissexist bs mold. a nightmare. it’s not that that makes him a boy, he was a boy at age 0, regardless or circumstances; but he grew in an environment he could not be comfortable exploring his identity and questioning his assigned gender. and that’s going to worsen his already possible dysphoria. 

but being trans isn’t what’s going to make him break down and slap his abusive mother with that fucking pink violin, and run away to live with his bf in the next state raising cats, no, that’s his anger caused by the hurt of his many mental illnesses, dysphoria being one of them.

being trans doesn’t cause pain. it’s dysphoria’s fault. and not every trans person has dysphoria, and sometimes nb ppl have dysphoria, and sometimes not and they’re still trans, and some trans ppl’s dysphoria goes away at some point. but being trans doesn’t.

and take me for example. i have dysphoria. had it since i was 10. im a demigirl. that’s a nb(trans) woman identity. but i don’t wanna change my body with surgery. i don’t want to take away parts of myself, because i got enough of that, and i want to love my body. so instead i wanna add stuff, like letting my body hair do its thing, and not wearing bras and getting muscles, and asking ppl to use they/them for me, and not try and push me into being whatever tf they think a cis girl does. and that, plus mental work on my image, helped me tone down my dysphoria. maybe i’ll see if i can get hormones, if it doesn’t turn out i already have pocs. i was sick because of my dysphoria. not because im trans.

there’s a lot of cases like this that are weird and hard to understand, maybe, but they all point to one thing: the problem is dysphoria and other mental illnesses caused by being misgendered and abused.

i wanna be trans. i like that. it’s good, it’s me, it helps me, the community is mostly nice, im at peace with that label, and i don’t want to have it taken off. because that’s what it’d mean, to see transidentity as a medical condition. it’s be an illness. something to correct, to fight, to destroy. i don’t want to fight myself. neither does the majority of trans ppl.

so no, not pathologizing transidentity isn’t anywhere near detrimental to the trans community. because we still have valid problems that deserve specific attention, we still have dysphoria, we still want to transition, and we deserve the health care that we need to cope with cissexist abuse. the problem isn’t being trans. it’s the environment, the ppl, the society we live in. and doctors already know that. they don’t allow you to get hrt on insurance because you’re trans. they do because they dx you have dysphoria. that’s literally how they decide if we deserve to get the treatment we know we need. sometimes they won’t even dx ppl with dysphoria that they have dysphoria, because they’re “too mentally ill for that”, or “too sane to be trans”. and hormones don’t even cost as much as we gotta pay them. the prices are artificially inflated, like most medicines, because a compagny own them.

trans ppl don’t need to be pathologized to get the issues linked to our marginalized identity acknowledged. insurance would/should cover surgery and hrt regardless of what ppl think being trans is. because when we say we got a fucking problem or need things, we should be listened.

we would be, if our society cared. we wouldn’t be pathologized if our governments weren’t cissexist trans-hating little shits.

another example, a comparison this time. being afab isn’t an illness. but we still need medical attention, like detecting breast and uterus cancers, or other gyneacological treatment that can be a matter of life and death. and to that, you add the mental baggage caused by being in a mysoginistic cissexist patriarchy. sounds like worth being covered by insurance, uh? well not to many pseudo-civilized countries, but to the happiest on earth, it does, and it works. and yet being afab, especially a cis woman, isn’t an illness, or a curse.

because yeah, we also used to think that women were inherently sick and taht they needed men’s guidance and validation to be allowed to live, it’s just the same fucking mentality, but applied to trans ppl, with cis ppl. 

we’re not the correct gender, we don’t even perform it correctly, so we’re not worth being cared and listened to.

that’s victim blaming. that’s putting ppl under oppression, making them grow in a toxic environment they can’t escape from because it’s their very identity that’s thought to be inherently hostile, and we tell them it’s their fault. that they’re sick and that’s it.

considering being trans a medical condition is fucking murder. you’re placing the power in cis ppl’s hands doing that, because that means we’re to be corrected, and only them can do that. it also gatekeeps from getting treatment. it also misplaces the blame on our identity when it should be on our oppression.

being transmedicalist is allyship to the cistem. that’s believing the lie they made up to say we only deserve care if we accept that we’re sick, and to be ashamed.

im repeating myself, but insurance should cover our treatments for our dysphoria, and let us do what we wish of our bodies and identity as we endanger no one. nobody is allowed to call us ill for what we are while ignoring what we suffer of. we should get at least partially insurance covered surgery and hrt and completely insurance covered when we have dysphoria. it’s possible. spain does it, in good enough conditions. yeah, spain, the catholic country that was still a royalist dictatorship fourty years ago. and france too, can do the insurance coverage, even if it’s harder because you need psychiatric approval first, which is bs and intrusive. 

we aren’t sick for being trans, we deserve to be listened on our terms, that’s not a fleeting dream, and that’s not up to debate. 

and we’re going to change shit so we can get that.

[yiulee999]

opm time traveler au (spoilers)

genos goes back in time and tries to disguise himself and befriending sai as a bookworm lol and they become good friends until sai is fooling around and playfully steals genos’ glasses one day and the you know 💘 💘 💘 💘

what started out as a random doodle turned into a multi-chapter length fic draft out on discord!! *o*

the full convo/story is posted below bUT its heavy angst!! be warned!! sorry about the casual lingo, i was posting in chat format XD 

so time traveler au picks up from when sai was getting picked on back in middle school chapter in the manga

and when genos goes back in time he thinks the only way he can get close to saitama if he was an ‘outcast’ too

so he purposefully nerdifies himself more? lOL how is possible,,,

Originally genos got sent back by dr. Genus as way to figure out the key to sai’s strength

Bc in the ‘future’ genos, they had just met and genos just wanted to know what made sai powerful

And initially when they meet genos is very forward about wanting to know all about saitama who finds it kinda creepy and stalkerish when he finds genos tailing him in the hallways and after school haha

And other classmates notice how the new kid (genos) follows/takes an interest in the class loser (sai) so predictably they start making fun of and bullying genos too

Genos, true to form, doesnt give a fuck xD

But sai has mixed feelings about it bc it was the first time someone took an actual interest in him and even though he’s so forward, genos never overstepped boundaries with him and was an okay guy overallBut alot of the story has to do with sai trying to figure out what its like to have a friend

And what to do because hes never had one

But he does know that he doesnt like seeing genos getting pushed around or made fun of so there are moments where he’ll try to stick up for him by telling them to knock it off or pulling genos aside to a differnt hallway when he sees the bullies coming

At the same time hes so confused on like what to do right, so he’ll also try to push genos away, ‘maybe if he didn’t hang around me so much, he’ll won’t get picked on…’

There was one scene i knew i wanted to do

Where after sai stands up for genos, the bullies treat sai worse

So it was an after school thing, behind one of the school buildings where sai is beat up pretty bad (like barely standing) and the bully has him by the front of his shirt and had his fist pulled back

When genos arrives

Before, sai had managed to ditch genos so he wouldnt see sai when he’s ‘weak’And always made up some excuse when he bruises or other injuries

So genos interrupts the scene by straight up grabbing the bullies wrist

And seething in all toasty righteous fury ‘dont touch him!’

and sai cant see it cus he had two black eyes at this point

but this was some dialogue i had written:

S:’What’s he doing? Why is he helping me?‘ "Hey–“

Bully pulls back fist "Look, kid. You’re new so I’ll give you a free pass this time if you walk away right now. You wouldn’t want us to mess up that pretty face of yours, would you?"

G: "How generous of you. Unfortunately, I won’t be extending the same courtesy to anyone who treats this person disrespectfully. Especially not ugly trash like you. "

Bully: "Why you–!! ”

And when the bully tries to redirect the hit to genos, genos instinctively throws out his palm and says ‘incin—‘ before he realizes he doesnt have his cannons

And genos is about to get b e a t

When sai wrenches himself from the bullies grip and takes the hit for him

They like tumble down and genos is confused to what happened before he sees sai lying motionless beside him, bleeding from his head and unresponsive

And i was gonna end a chapter there with genos screaming saitama’s name…

Next chapter was gonna be sai waking up slowly and in a world of hurt

He realizes he’s in the nurses office

It was night time

And when could finally see, he hallucinates seeing like 8 mini genos (remember the genosbots :3)‘Why…whys there eight of you/??’

So basically genos is worry over him so much whereas sai says its fine but genos is like feeling really bad so sai shakily reaches over and gently taps him on the forehead

And grins weakly, ‘there, now we’re even.’

Genos is crying openly bc he’s remembering when future saitama playfully hit his head after a spar and he thinks that saitama-sensei is strong no matter how old he is

And he’s just…overwhelmed by how kind and strong saitama is, even when he has no strength at all (Cus hes like 14 rn haha)

I think a couple days pass, and genos and saitama are eating lunch on the roof (cue bento box scene lol)

Sai is healing nicely, genos is still feeling bad whenever he looks over an sees the bandage on sais head

Some dialogue:

Eating lunch on the roof. G: How’s your wound? S: Hm? Oh, it’s fine. Don’t worry, my teachers say I have a hard head. G: I’m sorry. S: ? Why are you sorry? Not like you’re the one who punched me. G: I made things worse. If I hadn’t antagonized him, then–!! S: Then he woulda beat me up anyway. Seriously, man, it’s not your fault, okay? So you can stop doing all those things for me. G: Like what? S: You know! Like being nice to me and buying lunch and stuff. You don’t need to feel guilty about it anymore.

Sai is still kinda insecure abt having a genuine friend, so he still thinks genos is being nice to him out of pity or smtg, (and genos had been particularly nice to him after he got injured so he figured it was out of guilt)

And i mean….it was,, genos feels terribly guilty…but i think watching sai, who was powerless, attempt to protect him just made him more intrigued (and unbeknownst to him fall a lot deeper in love XD)

But genos says thats not why he does those things

That saitama reminded him of ‘someone’ he knew whom he admired greatly

At his ‘old’ school

He tells sai about his ‘sensei’ and how amazing this person was and all of his great qualities

And sai was feeling a little more depressed at each praise genos was singing about this person (coughjealouscough)

And i have another piece of dialogue here…

S: if you like him so much, why did you leave?   G: …I wanted to see the kind of person sensei was before he became strong. this is where he grew up. S: …seems like a lot of effort just for one person. G:.that person (sai thoughts: he’s still talking?)…no matter what i did..I couldn’t reach him. I’d do anything to close the distance between us..I thought that if I came here, I would be able to understand him. I thought I could help him. G: touches saitama’s wound But instead, I’m still the one being saved. I never learn.

And genos gives sai this painfully heartfelt smile and its full of regret, frustration, self-loathing, admiration, and some other unidentified emotion that just floors saitama

Saitama sees genos’ smile and his eyes and is just...stunned by the level of vulnerability he sees (he’s never gotten close enough to anyone before to see it)

So he reaches out, hestitantly at first, before wiping away genos’ tears carefully because if he touches any harder he’s afraid genos would crumble

S: “i dont really get it...but if you feel that strongly, then i’m sure some part of your feelings reached him.”

And they share their first hug then :3

////

((When i wrote this, genos didnt have glasses haha so i guess that scene where sai realizes how pretty genos is would go before this one))

I guess if the glasses were involved, sai would be torn between wanting genos to take them off (so he can see his eyes which oddly finds that he likes them...alot.) and keep them on so other ppl wont see how pretty he is

Bc sure if they saw, genos would no longer be his friend

He would have so many ppl vying for his attn, he would be surrounded by girls and guys and would be approachableAnd saitama would get left behind

But i think even tho sai wants to be selfish and keep genos to himself, he also realizes that genos wouldnt be bullied if he were more accepted

So he would encourage genos to ditch the glasses and genos would end up getting accepted by everyone but he would still stay with saitama and nothing would change between them other than saitama getting really red at random times and avoiding eye contact more

It would just be one of the many things that strengthen their relationship as friends. And i think i had planned some stuff where they do a bunch of typical friend / kid stuff

Like genos tutoring saitama on math, genos running circles around sai in track/field (‘wtf...huff are...huff you?! huff some...kinda...rOBOT!?). Them going to the arcade, saitama taking genos around to explore his hometown, they go on hiking trips and stuff. 

genos finding out saitama lived alone and that’s why he always buys lunch (or doesnt eat if he got bullied out of it that day) and talking out their issues and genos reaching out and saying yeah, he knew what it felt like to be alone

but that saitama should never feel that way because he wasn’t alone anymore, and saitama joking affectionately ‘yeah i have you to stick annoyingly close.’

and also heavy scenes like when you have to fill out future goals sheets in school where sai shyly admits that he’s always thought it’d be nice to be a hero and was shocked when genos was oVERWHELMINGLY supportive bc he’s never had anyone cheer for him like this, believe in him like genos does. And he calls genos crazy for agreeing with him, but he thinks he must also be crazy because when genos looks at him like that, he feels like he could do it

and its one of the first moments we see sai really open up to genos

bc being a hero was something he truly cared about

but his teachers, his classmates, heck the world, didn’t think he could do, they thought it was a hopeless dream for someone, and he’s so used to facing this kind of rejection that he’s started to believe it really would be impossible for someone like him.... 

but all it took was this one person, this one friend to tell him he could...and it made him feel invincible

and its probably the scene where saitama realizes how important genos is to him.

So of fucking course its when saitama realizes genos is important to him that drama bomb hits Basically, Dr. genus comes and pays genos a surprise visit. And hes like “did you forget the reason I sent you back here? Any updates?”

And genos is like “i have nothing of interest to report”

genus: "This isn’t some children’s game, you know. "

genos: "I must be careful not to expose myself. Saitama-sensei is more observant than I had initially planned--"

genus: "You’re stalling. I have an idea: Fight him. "

genos: !!! dr : "You’ll have a disguise. I will re-install your blasters. Perhaps a stressful situation will trigger a transformatio--. "

((so it was gonna be hinted at that even though genos appeared like a normal human, he was just redesigned by genus and was actually still a cyborg) genos: "I refuse to put Saitama-sensei in danger!!"

dr: "What danger? He is more than capable of--"

genos: "Right now, he is powerless. An attack could kill him--!"

dr: " And doing nothing will kill us!! Your mission is to find out the secret to his strength! Something we both wanted to discover and the entire reason why I chose you as my test subject! I will not sit here idly while you indulge in your childish fantasies that will get us both erased from the timestream. Look. " //he shows genos a pic of the hero registery from their time//

genos: " !!! Sensei’s name is missing!”

dr: " Your name is gone too. I dont know what you did but your actions are interfering with the future. Here. Collect your belongings and leave no evidence behind. We depart in 1 hour. "

genos: " !! Wait! Give me more time!! I understand now..!"

//genos has a bunch of flashbacks of when he does fun stuff with saitama. When sai tries to make him something in cooking class (and fails badly lol). When saitama shares his manga with genos. When they watch anime together.//

Genos: “I understand now..what type of person sensei was...his strength (when sai was protecting him from bullies)...his kindness (sai wiping his tears away)...his warmth (sai hugging him*)...!!”

“I finally understand...!!”

sai holding his hand, sai smiling and eating with him..

“...what its like to feel human again!!!”

He’s suddenly lifted off the ground and pushed roughly against the wall. Dr. Genus has him by the collar.

“Reality check, little shit!! You. Do. Not. Belong. Here! You’ve been playing pretend for far too long! And guess what demon cyborg?”

He tosses genos to the ground

“Time’s run out”

So chapter was gonna end with genos’ hand slowly fading in and out

next chapter would begin with genos being given 2 hours by dr. Genus to basically pack his shit and go. bc they cant leave any trace of the future stuff when they leave So genos ends up back in the classroom Packing his cute stationary and shit xD

(That sai bought him o b v i o u s l y )

And he’s startled by the door sliding open

And saitama walks in

He’s suprised to see genos there (and looking guilty?) “did ya forget smtg?”

And genos just kinda..looks away

And sai sees him packing up and taking everything and hes quiet for a bit ...

“You’re leaving?” He asks softly

“Saitama-kun, I—!”

“Why?” He keeps talking in that soft tone, but it silences genos more effectively than a shout

“I..I can’t...”

S: “...Is it because of that person?”

(Sai remembers the shine in genos eyes when he talks about his ‘sensei’, his special person, and his heart kinda just falls to his feet)

(i never had a chance, did i...)

Genos cant answer because yeah it was because of saitama in the future. So what if genos disappeared? Genos didn’t care. But the world needed saitama. It needed Saitama The Hero. He had to leave now so saitama can exist in the future

But since he cant say anything, for fear or changing the future even more, genos just doesnt say anything

So sai assumes that yeah, it was because of someone else, someone better than him, someone who deserved genos’ admiration and loyalty

He doesnt say anything, just approaches genos slowly, trying not to startle genos who has like deer in head lights ready-to-b o l t

And saitama rests his forehead on genos’ shoulder, barely touching him but close enough that genos cant ignore him, genos can feel his presence and his warmth

And theres a moment where genos is t o r n

Bc this saitama acknowledges him in a way that future sai wouldnt. This saitama looks at him and sees him whereas his sensei’s gaze passes over him to focus on the sale sign

And genos has been in school again, and he realizes he missed it. He missed having his worries be about being late for class, missing a school assignment, whether he could sit next saitama next class, what to pack for his and sai’s lunch tomorrow

And he knew in the back of his mind, that his real self, was in surgery at this time, trading warmth for fire and destruction, shedding his humanity while his future self was regaining it in the past,Thanks to saitama

He inhales sharply, ‘sai—‘ S: “don’t go.”

G: !

(Sai thought genos was going to say he was going to leave and he didn’t think he could hear him say it) S: “I know..he’s precious to you...” He reaches for genos, and after hesitating over touching genos’ hand, he settles for gripping genos’ sleeve of his school uniform tightly S: “but you’re precious to me “

And genos has tears streaming down his face. Because he wanted to stay, he had never wanted anything so much before than to just stay with saitama before he became sensei, to cheer for him when no one else would, to stop him from reaching the point he had trade his emotions for his strength, to stop the emptiness before it could touch him

But he also knew...that in order for his sensei to become strong...saitama needed to have these struggles that pushed him to change

That success without sacrifice was impossible, and he knew, genos KNEW it in his soul that if he stayed...if HE was the factor that caused saitama to limit himself, to fall back on a regular life when genos had seen it with his own eyes that this was a man destined for greater things...he would never be able to forgive himself

Genos throws his arms around saitama and hugs him tightly. He feels like he’s floating with nothing to ground him than the feeling of saitama returning his embrace equally tightly with his still lanky arms

G: “Saitama-kun....Thank you.”

G: “...goodbye.”

So next chapter begins ...With genos ending up back in genus’ lab

G: “Are we back?”

dr: “It appears so. We should—hey!! Where are you going?”

And genos is running off to look for saitama/his SENSEI because he had to exist, he had to still be a hero, right?!

He bumps into a monster

But not just any monster...Its the mosquito girl XD

Genos fights MG because its what he’s supposed to do, but he’s not scared for the fight...he’s scared for what’s to come AFTER...

And saitama shows up and finishes off MG with wan punch!!!

Genos is thankfully, not in disrepair bc he managed to dodge her attacks and was basically stalling for time

Saitama kinda sees him and looks at him blandly but to genos, that garrish, eye-burning yellow hero suit was the best thing he had ever seen

S: “Oh. A civilian? Are you oka—“

And he freezes all of a sudden.

And genos also freezes bc he doesn’t know what to do Its saitama-sensei...he should know the script, he’s done it all before

But now saitama-sensei was the stranger and he longed for the comfort that came with saitama-kun’s toothy smile

But he too had changed....he was a cyborg now, weaponized arms and black sclera on full display. His core spun dangerously. Would saitama even recognize him? Would he remember that day in the classroom when they parted ways, that was only a few hours ago for genos but more than a decade for saitama?

Genos froze. Would saitama even want to remember? After all the heartbreak genos had caused him?

Lost in his thoughts, genos almost didn’t notice saitama approach until the soft crunch of asphalt right in front of him jarred him to reality

Genos held his breath

Saitama didnt say anything. Only let that sharp gaze pierce genos in ways no monster could.

Genos couldnt read what he was thinking, he never could on his sensei’s bland face but this time, there was something tightly guarded in those brown eyes.

Saitama muttered something so low that genos had to use his advanced hearing to pickup

S: “It cant be...”

Louder and taking an aggressive step forward, saitama clenched his hand into a fist. He narrowed his eyes. “...If you’re some kinda shape-shifting monster...this won’t end well for you.”

G: “It’s genos!! I’m...I’m genos.”

Saitama freezes and his eyes grow wide. Genos almost instinctively lurches foward when saitama falls back on his heels, appearing shaken.

S: ...genos?

Genos nods tentatively.

For a moment, saitama doesnt say anything. But genos finds he doesnt need to. Those brown eyes had opened and genos could see, could feel some far-flung emotions creep back into that achingly familiar face as saitama let his gaze trail from his new eyes down his circuited arms and linger on the glowing blue that peeked through his shirt

After what felt like years, genos saw a corner of saitama’s lips twitch.

S: “It really is you....Heh. You haven’t changed a bit.”

G: “Sai—“

S: "I tried to forget you. I tried to go back to life before you. I finished school .... somehow got a job as a shitty salesman..."

S: "...I really tried."

Genos looked down, ashamed. He had been the one to injure saitama so unforgivably. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if saitama had done the same to him, if he had turned genos away from being his disciple. Kicked him out. How could you forgive someone who changed your world for the better, only to leave it behind?

More than anything, he needed to beg for forgiveness, not that he deserved it—but saitama did.

G: “Saitama, I—“

Sai shook his head, like he didn’t want to hear it.

Genos thought his core would crack.

S: “I thought...If I were strong, things would get better. If I were stronger than that person..maybe you would have picked me instead.”

S: “Maybe you would have stayed “

S: “I trained and trained until I became strong...but it wasn’t enough. To capture your attention, I had to be the strongest.” Saitama pauses and shoots him a small, cheeky grin that had echoes of the same toothy smile Genos cherished.

S: “I would have to be, to take care of someone as high maintenance as you.”

Then the smile faded. S: “But even after I became strong..what did it matter? You had left and I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. And if for some crazy reason i Did meet you again...I didn’t know if i had it in me to ask you to choose again..”

G: (full on oil tears, the whole shebang)

G: S-Saitama..!!

Saitama grinned helplessly at him.

S: “So hurry up and choose me, genos!”

G: “Sensei!!!” [ because I had already chosen you a long time ago ]

They hug.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!! :’D

There’s a small epilogue where sai’s like..you called me teacher again. Im still not a teacher you know (in reference to this original post: http://yiulee.tumblr.com/post/139194391025/time-travel-au ) .

And genos is like: dont worry sensei, ill explain it to you

And sai is like ah, okay? But first. surprise smooch! S: been waiting 12 years to do that :D 

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endless thanks to @konorai​ @batneko​ @egg-in-the-basket​ for bearing with me while i unloaded this beast into the discord chat..yall the real mvps!!! ;3;