#I used to have a pretty shitty friend who's only personality trait was liking harry potter so like

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s5 ep9: Thirty Days

Oh no, another Tom Paris episode. And I say that as someone who loves Tom Paris very much, because all of his episodes suck, and he deserved so much better than the crappy scripts they gave him. Even as a kid when I first watched this, I sat there with my mom complaining about why were they retconning a main character's established core character trait 5 years deep into the show- it's bad writing, and even a 12 year old could pick it apart instantly.

This one's actually even worse than I remember though, since I totally forgot about the unbelievably misogynist line they gave him in the beginning about the Delaney sisters, where he says "what's the difference?' when Harry tells him that he's into Megan but Jenny's the one who's into him. I started angrily chewing on the plastic spoon I was eating dinner with while rewatching that part, because it makes me SO ANGRY, on multiple levels. First of all, why would you have ANY character who isn't supposed to be a villain say something that douchey?? It's Star Trek, people are supposed to not be shitty misogynists anymore in Starfleet! Secondly, that's even worse than the creepy dudebro dialog they used to give him back in the first season! They did all that work to establish that he's changed, and then you do this?? Why?? (Honestly they probably only dropped the bad boy stuff because they realized it didn't fit him at all, rather than because they realized it was offensive, but still, we finished with that several seasons ago. Keep it dead!!) Thirdly- they have lived on the same ship and worked with the Delaney sisters for over four years now- Tom knows their personalities by now! Christ, he used to date Megan on and off for the first three seasons for crying out loud!! This is just shitty continuity, to say nothing of raging misogyny, to have any character say: 'oh, this pair of identical twins we've known intimately for years are interchangable.' Just... What. The. Fuck?! I am chewing plastic in rage right now!!!

Also, the continual use of the Delaney sisters as sex objects is so offensive in and of itself. They're only ever referred to as love interests for Tom and Harry, and we never even see them onscreen until five seasons in, and on that one occassion, they're portrayed as kind of ditsy bimbos (which seems pretty unlikely, since they're goddamn Starfleet officers!!) and they're not even shown at their jobs- they're playing seductive villainesses in a Captain Proton holoadventure with Tom and Harry, and it's pretty heavily implied that Harry could have had (or at least really wanted to have) a kinky threesome with them when they've got him tied up, if only Tom hadn't cock blocked him by appearing as Captain Proton and rescuing him at the end of the holoprogram. I mean, what the hell?? I do not watch Star Trek because I want to hear about some straight white male writer's sex fantasies, thanks all the same! Yeah, bro, we get it, you think of women as objects, cool! (Actually not cool- you're a sexist pig Kenneth Biller!) But don't put that on Star Trek characters! Christ on a bike, bro, yuck!! Go to therapy!!

So anyway, then we get into the actual plot, which is about how Tom, ace pilot, who loves nothing more than flying space ships, actually really loves the sea more than anything, and always dreamed of like, joining the coast guard. I'm sorry, what??? That's the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard. Sure, his dad pushed him into Starfleet, but he wouldn't have kept chosing being a space pilot over and over again if he didn't really love it. He absolutely would never have wanted to keep flying after having an accident that killed three of his best friends if it wasn't his first love, no way. Back in the day, I read Pathways, which described all the characters backstories, and I only remember bits and pieces from it, but I remember Tom's totally-not-Nick-Locarno accident was actually kind of worse- all three of his friends died because of a mistake he made, and the only passage I remember from his section was about how he was wracked with guilt and had recurring nightmares about watching them all die. It was really tragic stuff, and it definitely colored how I saw him on the show- why they never made an episode that dealt with that, I will never know. All the other Voyager characters got at least one episode that dealt with their backstories and adressed traumatic things they'd experienced, except for Tom. He had this whole incredibly dramatic story that absolutely colored who he was as a person, and directly influenced his journey on Voyager, right there on a silver platter! And they ignored it, in favor of this mess of an episode. What I truly cannot comprehend is why.

At no point in this episode did I buy his seafaring obsession (which of course they needed to justify why he'd disobey orders) as something he'd always had, when it's never been mentioned in the past four years. It felt so hastily slapped together for the sake of the plot that I couldn't care about it or believe in it at all. Yet again, consistent characterization is thrown under the bus in service of the plot of the week, as though all the character development over the past few years didn't even matter. Even if he loved the sea so much, it still doesn't make sense that he'd be like 'yeah, I'm totally willing to die to preserve this (artificial) ocean planet that I'm never going to see again even if I do rescue it!' And it's a shame, because the visual effects in this one were very good. The water planet and the underwater city looked very cool, and the scenes with the Delta Flyer underwater had a very cool Jules Verne sea adventure kind of feel. I'm just sad that it was wasted on such a poorly written episode. (The aliens who live there could construct space ships, but not ships that could go all the way to the center of their ocean?? They needed Voyager's help for that? Really?? They live in the water, yet they don't even have as sophisticated of ocean sensors as Voyager?? Seems a bit unlikely!)

Janeway's sentence seemed way harsh too, considering she pretty much never punishes anyone for anything on that ship beyond a slap on the wrist. Usually she just gives them a tearful speech about how she's disappointed in them, which tbh is always devastating, and would destroy even the strongest person way quicker than a thirty day jail sentence and a demotion ever could. But like, Suder staight up murdered a guy and got a few days in the brig, then confined to quarters with visitors and gardening privileges, so idk why Tom stealing the Delta Flyer to try to help a guy blow up an oxygen refinery (where no one would have even died btw) and preventing an entire planet from evaporating into space (and presumably killing everyone who lives there) is somehow worse?? Like that seems like the sort of thing Starfleet is supposed to do is help people from alien worlds save their planet if they ask for assistance?? Sure, it's disobeying direct orders, but literally everyone in the crew has done that at some point or another, so it's Tom's turn now, c'mon! He didn't even actually break the Prime Directive! He's been the goodest boy this whole time, he deserves a little insubordination, as a treat. Seven does it every other episode, and Janeway lets her get away with it. Seven has actually done much worse stuff, and if this had been Seven, Janeway would be all- 'Seven, you did a no-no. That's bad, but it's too hard to discipline you, so I'm not even gonna try. Please go back to having free reign over the entire ship.' I guess we know who Space Mom's favorite child is! (No wonder Tom's acting out, his new Borg sister is getting all of Space Mom's attention lol)

Ugh this episode is so bad and full of wasted potential. It makes me so angry I want to chew on plastic like a feral raccoon while watching it. I remember very distinctly feeling that way the first time I watched it, and I still do now. Unfortunately, some things never change.

Tl;dr: A nonsensical retconning of Tom's most important character traits and development. It didn't ring true, or justify why Tom would care so much, despite all the retconning. The blatant sexism in the opening scenes added another layer of grossness to an ep that had nothing to offer except really good visual effects.

[fbfh]

draco malfoy x gryffindor reader pt 1

As with all steamy/nsfw works, all characters are aged up to 18+

Any parts that take place while still in/are implied to be at school at hogwarts are in 7th year at age 18

Ik that probs doesn’t line up with the timeline but guess what bud

It’s fanfiction

I can make everyone sea monkeys if I want to and it’s still valid

So don’t worry about it

Cause I’m not

Also full disclosure this is going to be very self indulgent bc I found out Draco’s a gemini are we surprised

And since I’m a leo I’ve been hella jeff obsessed with the chemistry and dynamic of gemini x leo pairings so er ah

Reader’s a leo w they them pronouns but probs gonna at least somewhat femme/lollipop since like

I’m imagining myself

Anyway let’s get into it before I ramble more lmao

‘,:)

Draco Malfoy is a motherfucking bottom and you can pry that from my warm crispy crunchy deep fried fingers

He acts like a top

Sure

But it’s cause he’s a bratty bottom that runs on some kind of parsnip flavored magical energy drink and moderate amounts of concentrated attention

And the energy he gets from you is very concentrated to him

You laugh at one of his jokes and he’s good for like a day

You pet his hair while talking to him and he’s still thinking about it a week later

He’s somewhat low maintenance

Like a love cactus

Like a sexy fashion cactus

And it’s like a reasonable relationship for most people

But if you give him more attention and praise

You will absolutely have a fastburn enemies to lovers arguing that turns immediately into hooking up energy

Which is honestly preferable if you ask me

It’s way more fun

He doesn’t want to admit it to people 

But it really was a love at first sight situation type deal

He saw you and was immediately enamored 

Then you lock eyes

But you don’t just lock eyes

He expects you to be intimidated or defensive since your houses have such a rivalry

But you just look right at him

Through him

You analize him, completely non judgemental and unafraid

He suddenly understands gryffindor bravery as more than an abstract concept

He’s looking at it

He could be frozen in that moment in time forever, completely okay with it

He doesn’t think he can ask for anything more than this

Because he just knows somehow 

That you’re looking at him

Not Malfoy, that the whole school hates

Not Draco, that’s struggling not to bow under the increasing pressure from his father

But just him

Pure and unconditioned

And then

Your eyes skim up and down his frame

They lock with his again

And

You smile at him

It’s more of a smirk, but who’s counting

He knows right then and there that he’s completely and thoroughly wrapped around your finger, even though it will take a  l o t  for him to admit it

It will take an equal  l o t  for you to admit how affected you are by the way he looks at you after you smile at him

You  know there can be some pretty intense looks 

But honest to god

This doesn’t even take the cake, it takes the whole goddamn bakery

You both do admit to these eventually though

This leads to the first part of your relationship

Where you incessantly get under each other’s skin

Arguing over nothing

Riling each other up, sexual tension skyrocketing

It’s absolutely one of those cases where you start hooking up in secret before you even like

Hold hands in public

Yk

You know that meme of the two people kissing and someone’s high fiving one of them

When draco finally kisses you in front of everyone blaze deadass high fives him

They recreate the meme

If you’re from the muggle world you’ve probably recreated that one scene from the princess diaries 2 at least once

I high key want to write a one shot abt that now

Stay tuned lmao

Part two really do be looking safe doe coming soon

Anyway asks are open,,, I’m on semi hiatus but you’re more than welcome to shoot me a request or say hi or send me a message if u wanna be mutuals lmao

My head is officially empty of brain juice so I gotta refill it but like

I need instant gratification and validation from strangers on the internet????? So this part is going up now lmao

Just got diagnosed

But er ah yeah ig i’m writing for harry potter too now??? 

More ranting in the tags bc otherwise we’ll both be here all night

Edit: rip to the four paragraphs of lost tags where I talked about Wallace and gromet

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[6blackfilin9]

I love your Anko fanart! Tell me, what are your views/headcannons on Anko X Kazuku?

hThank you so much for the ask, finally I can answer it

here is my big thank you for the waitng

In a nutshell, the shipp was created by accident while me and my buddy were working on our first Naruto AU in 2019, where Kakuzu and Deidara survived their shitty plotholes end eventually ended up in Konoha

Yeah

so, the shipp’s birth date is july the 1, 2019

anything like classy, aristocracy kind of tension-filled passionate gothic romance with playful, psychological games & hurt/comfort vibes with slight scent of rivalry is KakuAnko

Basically, they are: a very, very old man with absolutely horrendous background who’s trying to finally have his mother*cking 10 or 30 years of peace, and a rather young lady with a rocky youth who’s being good & noble yet has very strong antihero tendencies

You know, I think they do have potential, since, in fact, they seem to be very similar, at the core

They are both very pragmatic realists, the people of logic and reason, yet if Kakuzu’s irritability doesn’t affect him a tiny bit due to his ideal self-control, Anko’s can lead her to quite bad places, sometimes. They put their interests in the first place, and even though she tries to attach them to Konoha’s, she still has ‘personal’ things (I’ll write ‘bout it lower*). Their mindsets are so complicatedly organized that, at some point & way, it prevents them from having many close people, and makes them very hard to see through and predict

Both of them are very flexible & adaptive, independent individuals with similar outlooks on plenty of things and high intellectual level. They clearly can find plenty of traits that they would highly respect and adore in each other

Here I will speak mostly for “why and how” kind of things, bc both of them are terribly tricky to accurately figure out. But there will be some headcanons too

So, there are still some odds about them, due to the strong difference in their occupation, like, in plenty of cases they are really tricky to be brought together, because:

- Of the job

In original, Anko is a Konoha’s special jounin, and she is very dedicated to serving the country. Independently of whether she likes her job or not (depends on the plot), she orienteers at the people, at society’s gain from her work. So, accordingly, in any other AU her job is somehow connected to civil service, whether it’s something police-like, connected to science, or something like CCG in Tokyo Ghoul

Kakuzu, on the other hand, is a hitman and a persona non grata in literally all the five big countries, Konoha too (which makes it barely possible to bring them together in the original universe without hard complications or heavy drama. But still possible). He orienteers on his own gain alone, but, depending on the job, it can include others’ gain, too.

This detail makes him a saint once he holds supervising position in some company or any high position in the government (the better the working conditions of the staff now- the more money in the prospective), and the sheer nightmare once he has it on the opposite side of the law. Him as a mob boss is a complete different topic for discussion, but to get the point, in this case, the trouble isn’t him increasing the level of criminality (its rather vice-versa), but taking hold of too much control in the high and underground structures. Even as an ordinary hitman he’s rather tricky, since everything depends on the case

In most of the stories, they come to some sort of compromise, and how hard it is to reach it depends on how shitty his job is and how attached they are to each other at the moment

Like, in the above mentioned Shippuden AU and Harry Potter AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) everything went like clockwork, because there they are both more or less on this side of the law, in Tokyo Ghoul AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) it is a bit more complicated, with her being in-law and him being very much outlaw, in the Avatar AU (which I also figured out with my buddy, but we never happened to write it) it is also pretty smooth, with both of them being outlaws and then jumping out to the glory after all the shit is done, but in another Shippuden AU of mine, this all would be just a motherfucking bloody disaster

- Kakuzu is actually a hard nut to get attached to anyone

He lived too long to be truly afraid of anything, though. Its mostly because he doesn’t really need to get attached to or become close with someone to satisfy his need for communication. The man can get along with anyone once he wishes to, he can have countless acquaintances and plenty of buddies, but he doesn’t have many comrades and barely can call anyone a friend. Because he is used to lose everything and everyone he ever had or happened to have, because of his inhumanly lengthened lifespan.

It requires time for him to get used to the person, and then, eventually, in some cases, spend plenty of it to get attached

Plus, for him, due to his profession, each close connection is a really great responsibility for him. In most cases, he’d think twice of weather he is ready to take it or not

Though it of course has the personal factor, too

In Anko’s case, she has a grand privilege by being a very intelligent and keen woman, not just in cognitive plane, but in emotional, too. High emotional intellect is actually a rare trait, so she automatically stands out of the crowd for him. Even though it won’t guarantee his alliance, it will grant her his high respect and some sort of sympathy

- Kakuzu is, technically, an asshole

He does have his moral compass, which includes a great amount of common social morality, but he also has that “I am working” state

Even though Kakusu has a set of professional principles, and he still acts accordingly to what he thinks is right, one and the very same situation can be solved diametrically different once the context changes from working to casual and vice versa

This, and him being very independent and quite antisocial, makes the degree of assholeness depend on various factors

This can lead to major conflicts of interests, and if they are possible to have any compromise or not is strongly attached to the circumstances. After all, both are very, very prideful and dignified people

- In other words, the only major issue for them would be morality questions. It’s possible to make the case acceptable for Anko, since both of them ain’t truly squeaky clean, along with Kakuzu being willing enough to watch his borders

- She is provident and doesn’t really need a lot of money on a daily basis, which is much of a joy to him lol

- *they both seek for the stable ground, first of all

Taking in consideration the life conditions Kakuzu had in his youth (despite war state, he still stably had family, friends, grand respect from everyone, home, warmth and food) and how terribly he was torn out of his secured social environment, I believe what he seeks through all his bounty hunt and other money-connected manipulations is stability. Sustainability he had back then. The only way to have it in the conditions of our existent world order is to have money (and a very good mind and luck)

Anko has indeed much more altruistic motives, yet it’s still not that simple. It seems to be, on the first sight, yet considering the “Orochimaru related cases” and her very wayward behavior toward them, it’s clear she keeps her own motives and needs in mind oh so well. The service she has is very well payed, it allows her to do what she likes or believes is right, and to have the living conditions she finds comfortable. And only here, relying on the made sustainable basis, she does what she does

- Thus, they both illustrate the principle “first help yourself, next help the other” just right

- She knows she can keep an eye on him, yet it’s clear for her that her influence isn’t borderless, as well as telling him off some stuff is kind of a not wise thing to do. So in the majority of cases, she never interferes

- This is not common, yet he can actually change some plans if the situation is serious and the compromise can’t be found. He is that kind of person who works on a further prospective, and in this context, this would be the relationship with his loved one

- While Kakuzu is quite conflicted and has very reserved controversial persona, Anko is both controversial, conflicted, and sort of two-faced, on top of that

She is a very sincere, cheerful and humbly honest human being, yet she has some darker natural traits of her character that became rather strong with age and traumatic experience. Cunningness, guile, ways-depend-on-the-case and a bit of ruthlessness, that is. Moreover, she has some unsolved personal issues, which makes her even more twisted.

Like, remember the time when she confronted Orochimaru during the exam? And Kabuto, on the war? Getting rid of them is indeed beneficial for Konoha, but it’s clear that for her it is personal vendetta in the first place. She wouldn’t have tried to do this alone, otherwise, because these two are rather dangerous ones, to say the least.

She uses greater good to cover her real motives (even though it is not truly complete bullshit), and seems to have a terrible habit to keep silence about really important things, which makes her quite prone to lying, in some cases

And sometimes it very badly pisses Kakuzu off, since it makes her prone to doing useless but dangerous shit too

Yet this not any kind of separate hidden side, it is integrated into her personality, and coexists with her bright one. That’s where her violent humour comes from, for example.

But Kakuzu, on the other side, is completely monolith individual, yet sometimes his mindset can create contradictions when it comes to something important to him. but it's another topic

And seeing these layered constructions, and motives, they can pretty finely predict each other’s behavior. Not super-neatly, but they for sure see the basis. This is what helps Kakuzu to prevent Anko from doing some stupid shit, sometimes

- Anko has a role of an indicator for the people who don’t understand and see the changes in Kakuzu’s mood sometimes, since she usually reacts quite openly. Yet, when she has the same unreadable mask of cold, or one of guile, it’s a nightmare for them

- They prefer the non-verbal way to show their feelings, even though Anko is obviously the more chatty one

- They don’t say things such as “I love you”, or other sensual stuff like that really often, believing it to be some sort of cherished words that shall not be spelled mindlessly

- Anko isn’t majorly into PDA, but she fancies it much more than Kakuzu does. She has her whole moments of studying something with her hands, whether it’s a hand, scar or face. He’s more into passive display of affection, like wrapping an arm over her waist or leaning to her or something of this kind; they can allow themselves to (not sexually) kiss in public though

- She knows he doesn’t like to walk hand in hand due to considering it a youthful thing, so there are times when she intentionally walks holding on to his sleeve; generally they walk separately in order not to bother each other, but sometimes they walk arm in arm (like an old Victorian couple lol)

- Being older and wiser, Kakuzu eventually upholds some kind of mentoring position, yet he never considers himself any kind of a teacher or master to Anko, believing her to have a good head of her own. He is just insightful enough to break something through to her or give a word of advise

- This, combined with his highly powerful demeanor, also makes him have the leading position in their relationship

- Anko respects him much enough to fortify this, entrusting with plenty of life questions (like organizing the family budget), even though they make the majority of decisions together. Mostly because he is truly wise and highly experienced individual.

- This makes him one of the very few people Anko would actually listen to and take their opinion in consideration

- So basically they have equal relationship with some tendency to patriarchal order

- And it is, really, mostly economically-based disbalance, with him earning much more than she does

- Yet they never have any financial-based issues, since both of them keep in mind and respect the contributions of each

- There is major power play here, too. He has the absolute might, she has seduction. Anko loves how he makes her want to submit to him, let him have all the power, so she likes provoking him. And she knows he adores it, loves the subtle control she has over him

- They don’t have conflicts in their everyday life. Each knows how to avoid pissing one another off

- He cherishes her playful demeanor, her intellect. Combined with her cunningness, it allows her to rival him, in social sphere. The way she constructs her phrases, the way she speaks, mimics, moves, how bewitchingly it suits her feminine snaky features makes his blood boil and heart melt

- Both of them, actually, have rather specific kind of dry, dark humour. Kakuzu’s is very cynical, satirical, quite often menacing and subtly demeaning; Anko’s is very sarcastic and quite dirty, even gruesome and rather violent

- Sometimes they “fight” verbally as a form of a play. In some circumstances they may sound pretty vile, so some unobservant people mistake this for display of hate

- In general, Anko is the one to heat things up with her playful demeanor, which can include provocation and rivalry, and Kakuzu is the one to keep this energy in borders, accumulating it up to much more intense states

- They both put the comfort in the first place when it comes to household. Everything must be cozy, useful, silent and super clean

- Yet they are both very unpretentious and modest, really

- She absolutely adores when he is showing his serious, severe side, or powerful demeanor. She finds it incredibly suitable for him. She also likes how his real age is sliding out in this or that way. Like, even though he has rather young face (that of 37-40 y.o.), his eyes give away that he’ve seen oh so much more than it seems; the grumpy noises and grunts he makes, the lazy attitude in movements and the way how rapidly he finds a comfy pose once he has a chance to take a seat

- They are both rather patriotic, yet while in the most stories Anko’s feelings mostly lay towards the country she lives in, Kakuzu’s more often lay towards some places, so called small motherland.

- Kakuzu actually could be a source of deep, strong admiration and delight for her, despite all of his bullshit. The unbreakable will he has, mighty burning heart, all the wisdom, talents and mind. Being sent to fight god damn Hashirama, clearly a genius of his times, financial & management genius at the least. And, still, after all the hard times he’ve been through, he maintained the very strong sense of dignity and nobility, even though slightly twisted due to the profession and abnormal lifespan

- And the very same things can serve as the source for her chagrin: with all those traits, he could have been so much more rather than a criminal. With all the gifts he’ve got, he could have been of great use to society. He’s much easier about this, since his prospective is much wider and embraces decades (and in some universes even centuries) instead of months & years, and he knows that he’d be switching sides throughout his life, being on this and that side of the law, yet he still is a bit uncomfortable once it’s brought up

- They are deeply into science, which makes them atheists. He’s into medicine and human biology, she’s into chemistry and reptilian biology; both of them are nuts for physics, history and psychology

- They solve complicated physical and mathematical problems together time to time. She is the first one to have tea-breaks due to losing her temper over it, he tries to figure things out right until you can sense the smoke coming off his head

- Actually, they do have a stumbling stone aside from job & morality complications. And this is Anko’s attitude towards Orochimaru

What she does is basically ruins her life very-very slowly, maintaining the issues she has and planning to make him pay for all he’s done

Kakuzu knows exactly what is really going on with this attitude and why, but he can’t really do anything about it. Like, he knows he can’t make her change her mind or put something into her head

All he can do is really nothing but try to explain how those things are working, and even this option is basically a landmine field for him. At some level she does understand that he could probably be right, yet she just refuses to go back on her mind. And this is actually really dangerous, so at some moments they can fight quite badly about it

- He’s scared shitless to lose her, though; especially like that, even though he knows clearly that he will, anyway, sooner or later

- he knows that losing loved ones ends up with sheer disaster for him, yet he isn’t afraid to pay such a high price for those six, five or four decades of being with her. Because these decades are that of a paradise ones for him. Wife and family, as well as stable job, incomes and life conditions, are some sort of physical definitions of sustainability he craves. Especially family, yet it’s far ahead to plan

- The fact that he will have to bury her one day makes her rather depressed, as well as the knowledge that the only thing she can really do about it is to try to bring him as much happiness and comfort as possible before she dies

thank you, i'd say more, but it's too much already

[wiypt-writes]

What The Stark Spangled F**k?

A Stark Spangled Forever One Shot: Of Small Boys And Big Men

Summary: Steve isn’t the only Rogers male who’s protective over Katie…

Warnings: Some language…not much!

Words: 1.2k

A/N: So this one just came to me after a pretty shitty week, and it’s dedicated to my gals @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @icanfeelastormbrewing . Hope it put a smile on your faces.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

With four young kids badgering her for what felt like every waking hour, a bath in peace with a large pinot was the best blessing Katie could wish for. But now, as she’d been hiding for almost an hour, she knew it was time to face the music. With a contented sigh, she climbed out, wrapped herself in a towel and emerged into the bedroom, giving a little start as she saw Harry sat on hers and Steve’s bed, propped up on the mountain of cushions, his eyes fixed on the TV.

“You okay, baby?” She asked and he turned to look at her, flashing her a smile.

“Daddy said I could watch TV here.” He grinned. “Jamie is playing is ‘pooter in the den and Ror-wi,” he glowered, folding his arms, “she’s watching girl stuff.”

Katie chuckled. “What’s Daddy doing?”

“He’s in the kitchen with Uncle Sammy and Uncle Buck.” Harry answered as Katie sat on the edge of the bed. “They came before to drink beer.”

“What else is new?” Katie chuckled as he crawled over the soft duvet towards her and clambered into her lap. “You not drinking beer, too?”

“Daddy said I can’t have none until I’m... ermmm,” he looked at his hands before he held them up, all fingers extended, “this many.”

Katie chuckled and dropped a kiss to his head. “Well, how about I get my pajamas on and we’ll get hot chocolate and come back up here and snuggle whilst we watch a film?”

“Toy Story?” Harry’s eyes lit up and Katie nodded.

“Sure thing.”

“Okay.” He nodded, one of his hands reaching up to tangle in the necklace around her neck before he paused, and his fingers moved to her shoulder tracing over the now faded but still ever present scar from that fateful day on the bridge in DC. “What’s this?”

“Oh errr...” Katie hesitated for a while, trying to think how to answer. She’d always tried to be as honest with her kids as possible but how to explain to a three year old that it was a result of his momma being shot by one of his favourite people on Earth?

“Did someone hurt you?” He asked, his eyes wide and she took a deep breath.

“Yeah, a long time ago. I got shot.” She smiled. “But I’m okay now.”

“Was it the bad person who made Uncle Nee go away?”

“No, it…” Katie shook her head, “it’s a long story, honey. You’re too little to understand.”

At that Harry frowned. “Jamie says that all the time but I’m not a baby, now momma. I’m nearly four!”

Katie inwardly groaned, she knew he hated it when anyone insinuated he was a baby, especially now he technically wasn’t their baby anymore; not now, Flossie was the youngest. As his frown deepened, making him look ridiculously like his elder brother and father, his eyes cast downwards and he sighed.

The pout and the downcast eyes, coupled with the fact that Harry openly expressed his discontent at being called a baby, or close to, especially by his mother, guilted Katie in. She thought a moment on how she could explain it properly to him without hurting his feelings and making Bucky not look like a horrible person.

"Well, a long time ago, there was a man, who..." she paused in thought, "was under a bit of confusion, like in Toy Story 3, when Buzz becomes Senior Buzz, and he's confused and talks funny, and doesn't know who any of his friends are. That was the man who shot me."

"Yous shot by Senior Buzz, Mama?" Harry tired piecing it together.

"Not exactly. The man was confused like Buzz, he didn't remember who he was or that he hurt people."

"What did he wook wike?"

"He had long dark hair, he wore armor, and had a metal arm," Katie waited briefly to see if Harry would piece together her description and when the tot sat there looking for more information, she continued. "I was with your Daddy, and Uncle Sammy, and when we saw him, Daddy knew who he was and it broke his heart and mine."

"Who?"

"It was Uncle Bucky, but some very bad men had made him very confused for a very long time and he didn't know who he was, and he didn't remember Daddy and..."

"Uncle Bucky hurt you?"

Katie registered the look on her youngest son's face and she sighed. It wasn't easy explaining this, especially given how Harry was as inquisitive as he was, a trait obviously from herself. That Rogers frown appeared again on Harry's face as he puckered his lips up, and without another word he climbed down from his mother's lap and sulked off out of the room.

In haste and hoping to talk to him a bit better, Katie quickly dressed into her pajama pants and a sweatshirt of Steve's before following Harry, calling his name.

****

Steve watched as Bucky leaned against the kitchen counter, beer poised to his lips as he shook his head, snorting.

“No that’s not how it happened, at all.” He shot Sam a look. “The chute didn’t open.”

“It didn’t open because you didn’t wear it!” Sam scoffed, pointing his bottle at Bucky as he lounged in one of the chairs round the table as he took a pull from his drink. He swallowed and shot an accusatory look at Steve. “Dude, he’s worse than you. And that’s saying something!”

Before Steve could reply there was a sudden flurry of light brown hair as Harry whizzed into the room, bee lining straight for Bucky.

“Hey pal, how....” but before Bucky could finish his greeting, Harry had nailed him with a fist, straight into gut before following up with one that smacked him right in the crotch.

There were yells and movement from all three men, Sam’s contained an unmistakable undercurrent of amusement as he rose from the table to help, whilst Bucky’s was laced with pain as he bent forward, his hand covering the front of his jeans where Harry had landed a pretty strong thump. But the loudest shout of all was a stern, angry one from Steve.

“Henry Steven Rogers!” He blazed, gripping the boy gently round his upper arm, spinning him to face him. “What on earth?!”

“He hurt Momma! ” Harry’s furious eyes met Steve’s and Steve looked at his son, blinking bemusedly as he frowned.

“He hurt Momma? What-“

“Harry!” Katie appeared in the doorway, her hair piled on her head, as she rushed towards her little boy and crouched down in front of him. “It was a long time ago, and I’m okay now. I told you, Uncle Bucky didn’t mean it.”

“He shot you!” Harry looked at his mom before he turned and glared once more at Bucky, who was now straightened back up, waving Sam away as he took deep breaths, his face pale.

Katie sighed and hung her head before she looked at Steve then to Bucky. “He saw the scar on my shoulder.” She said gently, and at that Bucky hung his head, shaking it a little. “I’m sorry, Buck, I didn’t think...”

“Don’t.” Bucky grimaced, waving her apology away.

“Why did you shoot my mommy?” Harry demanded and Bucky hesitated before Steve gently spoke.

“Pal, look, it was a long time ago and your Uncle Bucky, well, he was confused and...”

“Yeah like Buzz.” Harry nodded, “but he shouldn’t have done it. No one hurts Momma, you said that.”

“I did, yeah.” Steve nodded.

“Hey, listen, he saved me once too.” Katie, suddenly struck with an idea spoke quickly. “He rescued me from a lot of very bad people and that’s good, yeah?”

It was lame, really lame, but it seemed to have done the trick as Harry’s face softened as he looked from Katie, to Steve then to Bucky.

“You did?”

Bucky nodded.

“Oh. Okay.”

Crisis averted, Steve let out a loud exhale before he looked at Harry. “Buddy, you can’t hit people like that.”

“But...”

“No buts, you got something to say to Uncle Bucky?”

Harry eyed Bucky, clearly contemplating whether he wanted to apologise or not, but when further goaded by a look from his father, not just any but 'the look' that meant business, Harry sighed, and wth a roll of his eyes that was so Stark like it made Steve want to laugh, he turned to Bucky.

"I’m sowwy. I don't wike it when people hurt Momma."

Bucky smiled at him, crouching down a little, wincing as he did so. “It’s okay, Pal. For what it’s worth I’m sorry too. But I don’t do that anymore, okay? You got nothing to be scared of.”

“I’m not scared.” Harry shrugged. “Daddy’s bigger than you, Jamie said he could kick your ass.”

At that Bucky snorted as behind Harry, Steve bit his lip and looked at Katie who was trying her hardest not to laugh as she shot him a wink.

“Well, maybe.” Bucky shrugged. “But I don’t wanna fight your dad, he’s my friend.”

“Come on.” Katie spoke as she stood up, holding out her hand. “Let’s go back upstairs and watch a movie. Sure if we ask nicely, Daddy will make us his special hot chocolate.”

“Hmmm I’m not sure.” Steve teased.

“Pweeeese!” Harry grinned at his dad. “Can I have cream and spwinkles?”

“Alright.” Steve smiled, running his hand over his son’s hair and stood up. He shot Bucky an apologetic look and his friend shook his head.

“Hey Harry, I gotta say buddy, that was a good hit.” Sam spoke. “Wish I’d filmed it.”

Harry, completely nonplussed, grinned at Sam before he held his arms up at Katie. She hooked her hands under his armpits and lifted him up, kissing his cheek.

“I’ll fetch it up in a minute, Doll.” Steve looked at her as she gave him a quick peck.

“No rush.” She smiled. “Goodnight guys.”

Bucky and Sam both waved as she turned and made for the door.

Steve watched them for a moment, smiling softly to himself. The way both his boys cared so much for their momma was something he was immensely proud of and the best thing they’d picked up from him, in his opinion. He’d always strived to instil into Jamie that he should look after and care for Katie and his sisters as best he could, and to his credit he did. And the fact that Harry seemed to be going the same way made Steve’s heart swell.

As Katie carried Harry through the door, the tot looked over his momma’s shoulder and raised his arm, extending his fore and middle finger before bringing them to his eyes and pointing at Bucky, the universal sign for 'I’m watching you' .

Steve just about managed to hold it together until his wife and son had rounded the corner towards the stairs before a huge laugh erupted from his mouth.

[lilyevansbabe]

Draco Malfoy was a shitty person and a bully. But no one can convince me he didn’t deserve that redemption more than Snape.

He’s a one dimensional character until the HBP. But in there, we see him from a different point of view. He’s a child caught up in the middle of a war. Voldemort gave him an impossible task just for him to fail, as a punishment to his parents. Threatened to kill him and both his parents.

I’m pretty sure Draco wasn’t the only teen who caught up in cross fire in the war and couldn’t get away. Yes, rioting to your Death Eater parents and running away to do the right thing is a really brave and noble act. But it shouldn’t be the default. It can’t be the default.

Because believe it or not, running away from a environment like that is not easy at all. It takes great courage and strength to do that. Not everyone have that. And not everyone is entitled to have that. Sometimes people just do what they have to do for survival. Because especially with Voldemort taking over the Ministry, he would be caught and killed the moment he tried to ran away.

Voldemort was using Malfoy Manor as a headquarters, killing people right in front of him, in his house. His psychotic aunt was staying in that house too. These are pretty traumatizing stuff.

And him not identifying Harry in the Malfoy Manor, but then attacking him in the Room of Requirements seems pretty like an inconsistent character arc to me. I think we should’ve seen him trying to actively help Harry in some way. It doesn’t have to be something much brave -since we all agreed that bravery is not Draco’s biggest personality trait- but something simple like helping him search for the the diadem.

Because even though he has issues to work on about being a blood supremecist, there’s no way he wants Voldemort to win. Draco is the type of person that would want to help but wouldn’t want to risk himself so much while helping. So we should at least have seen him showing support for Harry in some way.

I’m not saying he should have been best friends with Golden Trio or something but it would be great if we saw a small spark of a friendship. Because everything Draco went through could be the start of a really great character development.

And I fully blame it on JK Rowling’s lazy writing. She’s the CEO of creating characters with great potentials but ending up ruining them. Also I just know for a fact that if she wasn’t obsessed with making all Slytherins evil, we would definitely see the type of character development I described.

So in conclusion, Draco Malfoy could be one of the most interesting characters in the series with complex morals and a deep personality. But instead we got a selfish bastard.

[mydearesthrry]

places we won’t walk (chapter one) || peter parker

summary - the doors at midtown seem a little boring, but when you get introduced to someone you seem to remember, what happens when they seem to remember you too?

word count - 2.9k (wow shes gettin better!)

pairings - peter parker x fem!reader

warnings - like mild mention of s*xual assault, angst if you squint really hard, mj being a softy for you, mj being a lowkey bi, peter being stupid as always, y/n calling peter a colonizer.... thats it ok enjoy

a/n: so i know i last updated in october, but as u all saw i have a 25 days of xnas thing going on (PLS I WROTE THE A/N LIKE A MONTH AGO PLUS I FORGOT ABOUT THE XMAS THING DISREGARD) so pwww updates will be slow (as if they werent already omg) but the next chapter will be arriving hopefully, fingers crossed, on xmas eve or xmas! also, are you guys watching the new euphoria episode? also, i’ve stopped using the word ‘stuttering���, as it may be ableist, and i’d never wanna come off as insensitive. anyway lmao, enjoy chapter one, the trials and tribulations of hitting someone in the nuts.

also side note psa: biggest thank you to @blossomparkers for helping me so much w this chapter. i owe it all tooooo u lani yani. thank u for everything !!!!!

series masterlist | regular masterlist | series playlist

(gif not mine!)

when y/n y/m/n stark was in her early years, she was never aware of the impact her father would and did hold over her life, and in turn, the whole world. for the longest time, you’d always assumed that your father wasn’t real, and everything that had been told to you by malicious family members who were jealous over your father’s “successes” had been lies, and you had it believed yourself. no one would even think that you were tony stark’s daughter until it had been mentioned. tony’s snarky attitude had been a character trait that you’d gotten, and you always took pride in your humor and attitude.

the story of your mother and tony had been messy and all over the place. from a drunken hook-up followed by multiple days of morning sickness, to a surprise pregnancy test, the storyline of your parents had been.. well.. interesting to say the least. you never focused on your family’s history, solely based on the fact that you didn’t have two fucks to give about your family history, but you also never knew your father which was-- bizarre. 

when tony had found out about you, he claimed it was a drunken accident, a mistake, and one he made when he was “less responsibly a stark”, which was actually just some fucking bullshit, but he didn’t wanna admit that he hooked up with some random chick at a bar that he thought was hot.

since you had been raised by a mother who was barely there, you had to raise yourself. you were kinda street smart and book smart, and you were always smart when it came to books, because you were the type to want to learn-- unlike others.

when you were in your teen years, you had tabs on you and the media on you 24/7 to make sure you didn’t royally fuck up. the unwanted attention became too much when you started realizing that people didn’t want you for your personality, they wanted you for your title. but this was after you moved from brooklyn. nuvale and peter never saw you as some “movie star”, or some famous person in the media because you weren’t. but when you had grown to learn what your father did, he had forced you to not fuck up to maintain his-- somewhat okay reputation. 

you always wanted that superstar life, as a fantasy of course, but when you got to it, you realized the cliche-y-ness of it all. you’d idolized the famous women in the media-- idolized how they looked like. you realized fairly quick how fucked up the media truly is. you realized how things really aren’t as they seem. its not just the galas that look extravagant, or getting to wear a fancy new gucci outfit every night. it honestly was a whole bunch of other shit you wouldn’t even imagine. it comes with the no privacy thing- people stalking you in public, the death threats, so much shit that wouldn’t happen as common if you were just anonymous.

being an avenger (basically), your dad had natasha teach you the ropes; the basic rules of how to kick someones ass. it was a handbook that the women of the avengers had created, and it had all the rules and regulations of how to spar someone on the team, and basically how to righteously beat someone's ass up. it was never really something you found too important, but as you grew older, you realized that it was very important to know, especially since you were a girl.

despite your harsh remarks and snarky attitude, your father always knew how to hit a sensitive point in you that always managed to break you down. you never quite understood why he would want to make you feel worse about yourself than you already felt, but regardless, you always felt underappreciated by him. being a stark, you were expected to be a genius, get over the top grades, and constantly be able to keep up, but with your luck, you were graced with depression, social anxiety, and a 4.0 gpa. fun, right? 

wrong.

when you were 11, you had made friends with the kids in your apartment halls, and you learned that their names were nuvale jones and peter parker, and you were basically the golden trio. you were hermione, peter was ron, and nuvale was harry. which, now that you look back at it, makes much more sense than any other arrangement. you also had another friend, harry osborn, but once he moved away, there was no way for you to talk to him anymore. he had moved across the country to california, and from then, it was just you, peter, and nuvale. your best friends ha been there for you for what seemed like decades, although you only knew them for about three.

peter was the boy with the rosy cheeks who little 12 year old you would get butterflies in her tummy. or the type of boy to bring you an extra snack if you weren’t able to pack it the night before. he was the type of boy to walk you to the nurses office if you got hit with a dodgeball. he was the type of boy to fall for someone like you. but he didn’t. or so you thought. 

little prebubescent y/n was an awkward girl who thought the world would be on her side when she needed it the most, or that whenever you needed peter or nuva, they would be there. you didn’t think your best friend would stop talking to you after you had moved away. you were too naive to know that peter liked you, and you were too naive to know that he had liked you back, but you wanted to believe what your brain would tell you, so you decided to flush your feelings down the drain and forget about them, which, in hindsight, was a pretty shitty idea. who would’ve known?

your alarm clock blared loudly from beside you, causing you to let out a loud groan in protest. you hit the side of your head angrily, then whining and rubbing the spot which you hit. whines and loud sighs fell from your lips as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and pulled the covers over your head, knowing what would come next after you would try to snooze your alarm.

“good morning, miss stark, how could i be of service to you this morning?” friday’s voice echoed through your large bedroom. you peaked your eyes and forehead from beneath the covers, your eyes slowly starting to adjust to the light that was pulled through the big blinds which were now open. 

“mmm, fri, just tell happy to get the car ready, ill be ready in a few min- nevermind, tell him to get ready in thirty, im probably gonna fall asleep in the shower.” you croaked, taking your phone from the charger which was on your nightstand. you slipped on your bunny slippers and turned on the heater in your room, the draft filling your room with cold air throughout the night.

-------

once you walked through the large industrial doors of midtown’s cafeteria, everyones voices started to drop into sharp hushed whispers, making you roll your eyes and pull your hood up over your face. you pulled your airpods from your pockets into your ears and tried your best to avoid any and all eye contact with anyone you did end up coming into contact with. you walked over to the food bar where you grabbed a red school tray and plastered on your best smile to the lunch ladies who work oh so hard to make sure you all were fed. as you walked through the line, you could feel the intensified stares on you, making your back erupt in chills. you didn’t like to be watched, and the fact that you were a so-called celebrity didn’t help your cause in any way. 

“hey.” a low voice called from behind you. it was a girl with curly hair with gorgeous light brown skin, and a jawline that would cut you. you were almost astonished by her beauty, but you remembered the facade you had to hold, especially to strangers that you didn’t know.

“hey?” you asked unsurely, wondering if she was with the media or not. which was something that tended to happen quite a bit.

“don’t worry, i’m not with the press. you just seem interesting.” she said in a monotone voice, but still with a strong look of seriousness on her face. you giggled softly when your eyes locked and your faces went totally still, making the girl in front of you laugh as well. she held out her hand in front of you, while also balancing her tray and book in the other hand. you placed yours into hers and shook it, smiling when she told you her name.

“michelle jones.” she smiled, your throat getting a little tight at her last name, and you had to admit that it struck a little chord within you, but you quickly cleared it from your thoughts and introduced yourself as well.

“y/n stark. pleasure to meet you, jones.”

“pleasure to meet you too.”

“so, i get that you’re new here,” she started walking, inviting you to walk along with her. “what- what are you doing here? i mean i get you’re smart and all, but this is a nerd school; you literally could’ve gone anywhere, so, might i ask, why here?”

“hm, interesting question. seriously i don’t know. my dad and i don’t really get along so he makes the decisions and i tell him if i like it or not. which by the way, i’m gonna have to stay near you-- you’re the only one making this bearable for me right now.” you snorted, nudging your elbow to hers. 

“hm, daddy issues. great song, love the artists.” she smirked, making you shoot your head back in loud laughter, gaining some side eyed glances from a few people sitting at the tables around you.

“so, where are we sitting? i usually nev-”

“hey mj!” you were interrupted by a boyish laugh and hoots and hollers coming from a table two tables ahead of you. 

“jesus fucking christ. what? just because i got some and you didn’t doesn’t mean that you have to be that fuckin’ loud about it.” she grumbled, placing her tray down, slinging the backpack on her right shoulder beside her. you looked at her with a nervous but curious glint in your eyes. she gave you a knowing look which said, ‘just go with what i say’, making you nod in understanding.

“woah! holy shit! i m- i mean woah- nice to- nice to meet you!” the boy fumbled over his words, looking at you and michelle in disbelief, shaking his friends shoulder and poking at his cheek.

“nice cut, g. looks nice.” you said to him, giggling as you stuck your straw into the mini juice box.

“o-oh, thanks… g?” he said back to you, observing your looks with a confused expression written on his face making you giggle at his confusion. 

“peter! look! y/n stark is at our table!” he whisper shouted to his friend, making you look at michelle with a smile on your face and playfully rolling your eyes. she looked back at you, rolling her eyes as well, gesturing to her head as if saying ‘idiots’, making you giggle and turn back to them. 

“so, bowl cut dude, what’s your name?” you nodded to him, picking at your salad with the blac spork that was so cordially given to you by mj. 

“n-ned, ned leeds.” he smiled sheepishly.

“and you, colonizer, what’s your name?” you tapped on the table, alerting the boys attention. you could hear michelle and ned hollering and snickering from their seats, but decided to keep your poker face rolling. but i mean, how couldn’t you? the look on his face was absolutely priceless. 

“peter park- wait did you just call me a colonizer?” he cut himself off in his own sentence, looking at his other friends for confirmation, to which they nodded, still cackling at the fact that you had indeed call him a colonizer.

“peter park, hm?” you teased, ignoring the way you hesitated and ignoring the way your chest felt heavy when the name of peter was said.

“n-no thats not my name-” he said, tripping over his words, making you let out a chuckle. 

“i’m messing with you. with what you’ve given me, i could only guess your name is peter parker?” you rested your chin on your hand, engaging in the awkward conversation.

“yeah. thats my name.” he said more confidently, giving you a tight lipped smile.

“nice to meet you, parker.”

“you too, stark, my pleasure.”

----

after the small encounter with your new found friends, you had gone back to your respective classes, which meant that your next class had peter in it. after you had split up, you decided to get there early to avoid any commotion surrounding you.

as the boring class continued, you heard the loud clicking of high heels in the hallways, which had to be one person and one person only.

“stark,” someone shouted from the door which swung open. low and behold, in front of you was the prickly bitch, your principal, mrs cunningham. “come with me, eugene’s parents have requested a meeting with you and your father considering that you had just hit their son in the private areas!” everyone snickered and laughed. finally someone had stood up to flash’s shit. 

“y- you punched flash in the nuts? i thought that was just a rumor?” peter stuttered, looking at you in disbelief.

“yeah, the fuck was i gonna do? let him flirt with me? no. that bitch tried to grab my ass. i’m a stark, i was raised better than that.” you whispered to him, packing your bag as you did so.

“hm, guess you’re right. well, good luck stark.” 

“thanks parker.”

--------

once you arrived in the principals office, you saw what seemed to be his mother in one of the seats decked out in expensive pearls and diamonds. typical.

“little miss over here punched my son in the privates! i will not allow this to happen!” fuck. you thought; another one of those stuck up cunty parents.

“pfft, probably paid to get their son into here.” you muttered under your breath, playing with your protection bracelets incase anything was to ever happen.

“wHAT? mrs cunningham, i will not allow this child to talk about my son this wa-”

“hello! i was called in?” a voice interrupted, one you could only peg as your father.

“ahh! mr stark! you’re finally here!” your hilarious excuse as a principal said cheerfully.

“i am! and i am here to.. come and have a meeting about my daughter's- behavior?” he asked questiongly, already seeing the triumphant and cocky look on your face. he knew you weren’t at fault, and you were gonna lie your pretty ass out of it.

“well, mr stark, we have a student in the nurses room due to the actions of your daughter!” she looked at him menacingly. he shook his head with a smile on his face and walked over to you, grasping your shoulders in his hands.

“well kiddo, wanna explain what and why you did what you did?” he smiled, giving you two taps on your shoulder, already knowing what was next. you two had a pretty good acting schedule when it came to it, when in reality, you despised eachother.

“sure daddy! eugene had been hitting on me for several days now, and even found my private social medias in use to.. how can i say this, use me for my fame? he tried talking to me, very inappropriately on several occasions, and even went as far as to try and grab me in areas in which i find extremely inappropriate, without my consent, might i add, which doesn’t seem okay with me. does it seem exceptional to you, mrs thompson?” you asked, while only keeping your eyes on his mother.

“why, i am so sorry miss stark! his father will be in contact, i did not raise my baby to be this way! im sorry for any inconvenience he may have caused you!” she gasped, raising a hand to her heart. 

“it’s okay, i just request, may this never happen again? i would not like my privacy to be invaded, much less from your son, and can i please ask that he never try to hit on me, nor any girls at this school ever again? i can only imagine how many other girls this may have happened to, mrs thompson.” you sighed, your eyes filling up with fake tears. you reached up to touch your fathers hand, tapping it twice back, knowing that you both had just won.

“never again miss stark, once again, i am so sorry this happened to you.” 

“it’s okay. now mrs cunningham, shall we see our way out?” your father answered for you, looking over at the old white woman who looked like a piece of cheese. she could only nod in awe, giving you the cue to pick up your bags and walk proudly to the door.

“thanks i guess.” you muttered, pulling out your airpods once more, hoping to seal the conversation with your father.

“yeah yeah, no problemo.” he muttered back, avoiding eye contact and stuffing his hands in his  pockets. 

once you reached the door, you remembered that you had left something in your locker, and informed your dad that you’d be going back to get it. he all but nodded and looked back at his shoes before trudging to the car.

once you entered the seemingly halls, much to your surprise, you saw a scrawny teenage boy lifting open a set of lockers, which you didn’t even know was possible, and pulling out a red and blue suit. once you saw who the hands belonged to, your mouth fell agape as you gasped,

“peter?”

[daisycandothings]

A twilight movie review, yes I know I am a decade late.

Hello, this is a review of the twilight movies. 

Okay now that nobody is reading this anymore, I have a note on how this will be formatted. Basically, I will have five sections where I go through and review each movie, and then I will have another section at the end where I look at the series as a whole.

I would also like to say that these are not good movies. Everyone here knows that. There is a lot of negative criticism out there and chances are, I agree with basically all of it. However, I do not want to say the same shit that everybody already says, that would be boring. People do not watch these movies because they are masterpieces of cinema, we watch them because it is fun to sit down with your family/friends and laugh when Jacob says “I am hotter than you” with a straight face. What I’m trying to say is I will not be analysing these academically so much as talking about what I enjoyed/didn’t enjoy about the surface level experience of watching them. Comparing these films to actually good masterful movies is like comparing kids playing floor hockey in gym class to olympic figure skaters. Like they just do not belong on the same scale

I really do want to take a look at these films on their own without the influence of the books messing with my opinion of them. 

Also, there will be spelling AND grammatical errors, I promise. 

Twilight the First One:

Good things:

This might be my favorite on its own. I just think the plot is probably the most exciting and it has the best split of drama, vampire bullshit, and fighting. I like the vampire family, I think they’re funny, and I actually genuinely think the baseball scene is a clever concept that is executed well. That scene, Anna Kendrick, and the dad are the high points of this movie, but Anna Kendrick and the dad are basically the high points of every movie they’re in, so I think I’ll speak on them later. 

Also I really like the soundtrack of this movie. To be fair I only remember two songs (what do you think, I was taking notes? I’m not a nerd) but those two songs were cool. The pieces in question were the electric guitar thing during the baseball scene and the lovely piano song™ . God do I fucking love that piano piece, I think there will definitely be a paragraph dedicated to that one song, you’re welcome. 

I like the hinting at the werewolf stuff in this movie.

Neutral:

The color saturation/tone (I don’t know movie words) were different in this movie. It’s like bluer. I don’t really know how I feel about it, its just kind of jarring to have this really blue movie and then move on to the next on and it’s normal idk.

Bad:

My biggest criticism is with the main characters. Like Bella and Edward have no chemistry, dude, I cannot name a thing that they bond over. Really their relationship only works because they are both hot, and the movie is relying on that in order to get the viewer to feel compelled by it, and I mean I guess it worked? I mean, I spent way more time wondering what Robert Pattinson’s hair product budget was than considering the fact that neither character had a substantial personality. 

I also have this weird issue with the pacing, maybe I’m an idiot and this is wrong, but it really seemed like Bella transferred at the beginning of the year. Then she meets everyone and like 30 minutes later we’re talking about prom? A spring event? And then the rest seems to take place over the span of like 2 weeks. Its just hard to tell how much time is passing at some points and I’m not a huge fan of that. 

“I like watching you sleep”

The effects are not good, but I don’t give that much of a shit, I just wish they’d been more obnoxious with the glitter. I’m not entirely sure I would have noticed if I lived in that world

I think that’s all I have to say here

Twilight New Moon

Good: 

Jacob is the best main character in this movie. He has personality traits, and his wolf transformation plot would be good if he weren’t such an asshole about it all the time. To be fair though, I have never been through such a transformation, so I can’t really judge. That said, I do like the scene where he freaks out at Mikey (that one blonde kid who decides to be a part of the series every once in a while).

Also there is some genuinely funny shit in here? Like, even moments that the movie actually intended to be funny. That guy, Harry, who hangs out with Charlie? He has some really great moments. Also the theater scene where Bella is sitting between Jake and Mike, and they both have their hand out hoping that Bella will hold it? That is just really funny. There’s obv more, but these are some highlights

Yes Jacob, please take off your shirt in order to dab the blood off Bella’s face. That seems like the best course of action to me. God the weird shit he does is really funny.

Bad:

Charlie’s friends keep dying, and his daughter is shitty and that makes me sad

The characters continue to have very little...well… character, not to mention actual development. I shouldn’t have to explain why that is a huge issue, especially for a movie that is primarily character driven. 

THIS MOVIE IS SO LONG. there were moments when I would just take a sec and be like. What is happening? What is this movie? What story is even being told here? God when is this going to be oveeeerrrrrrrrrr?

I’ve said a lot less here, but this is undoubtedly worse than the last one. 

Twilight Eclipse

Good:

The plot is built up a lot better in this one compared to the last two. In the last two, the main conflict wouldn’t even be fully introduced until like half an hour before the end of the movie. There was just a bunch of time that went by very slowly where basically nothing happened, and then all of a sudden there has to be a climax so the actual rising action takes place over a ten minute period, That's just weak writing, and this movie does not have that problem. 

I like the depth that we are given to the other members of the vampire family members. That said, Jasper was a confederate soldier, and you can not convince me that he isn’t racist.  

I think the scene where Edward and Jacob see eye to eye for a bit is pretty good if you disregard the fact that they really talk about Bella like an object. Like they spend so much time in this series just being NEEDLESSLY rude and mean; like you guys couldn’t even pretend not to hate each other for half a second? For real? Anyway, this scene kind of has them getting along and having a constructive conversation and I liked that. 

“Let’s face it. I am hotter than you” 

Neutral:

The plot is definitely more exciting in this one, but Victoria’s plan seems needlessly complex.

Are there other werewolves, or are the ones in forks just all of them? Like there seems to be this giant vampire government that spans the whole world, but the werewolves just have like ten kids in forks?

Bad:

I get that you all are natural enemies, and you are in love with the same girl, but god you guys don’t have to be such assholes to each other. 

Viewers are CONSTANTLY reminded that Edward just wants to protect Bella and that Jacob might be a better fit because she wouldn’t have to change. Like really hon? You’ve said this shit twelve times, but please go ahead and tell me again.

I know I was laughing about it before, but Jacob, can you please put a shirt on, it’s snowing.

The ring that Edward gives Bella is terrible, I would not wear it. 

Why did the cullens just let the volturi kill that girl? They shouldn’t have. 

*Sigh* and now we are at the really bad thing that I really didn’t like. TW for sexual assault. There is a scene where Jacob basically tells Bella that he kNoWS she likes him. She actively says that she DOES NOT, and then Jacob kisses her. THAT WASN’T CONSENSUAL. THAT WAS SEXUAL ASSAULT, BUDDY. Some people might say that she did actually want it, but if you look at her face during that kiss, she really doesn’t seem okay with it; in addition, she punches him after. BUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE WANTED IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!! SHE SAID NO!!!!

Then this yucky shit happens again, when Jacob finds out Edward and Bella are engaged, and Bella feels the need to kiss Jacob so he doesn’t do anything stupid. That is bad for obvious reasons. It is very frustrating because if it weren’t for these events, I would totally be team Jacob. 

Also I get you guys both love her, but I challenge you to tell me exactly what you love about her. 

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part One

Good:

This movie is fucking hilarious and amazing. I have watched all of the movies up until this point, and maybe it’s just the fact that this is my first time watching it, but this might overtake the first one. It’s great, I love it. 

As I mentioned, this movie is very funny, there are a lot of really good moments, Charlie and Anna Kendrick’s wedding speeches are amazing and I love them. There are a bunch of other ones that I cannot remember at the moment, but I promise it is great. 

 I also loved when Rosili (I’m sure I spelled that wrong) had to cut Bella open, and then she really wants to eat her blood. Very fun and also amazing for raising tension. 

I like that this movie is not pretending to be an action film. All of the other ones are mostly drama with a pretty shitty action plotline grafted over it. That does not happen here. It is literally just a romance movie that uses vampirism and werewolfery as an added layer of drama. The other movies do this, but they also have those bad action plotlines, so it feels like they are lying to me about being monster fighting movies when they are really just romance dramas. This movie KNOWS that it is just a romance drama and it owns it and I think that is cool.

I really liked the thing where we got those close up shots of bella’s blood vessels becoming vampire-y and stuff, I thought it was fun. Also when bella is having that dream about her wedding and everything is white and red and they end up on a pile of bodies? I cannot explain why, but I thought that looked really cool and it was kind of chilling which was the desired effect.

Seth and Leah, need I say more?

Lovely piano song ™ is BACK!!!

Neutral:

*sigh* Jacob. I have a strange relationship with Jacob. He constantly goes from being very cool to being very terrible. I will talk about this more later, but in this movie it was especially prevalent. He would say unnecessary, mean shit about the Cullens, and I would be like “god when did you become such an asshole?” and then he would leave because he didn't want to watch Bella destroy herself and I would be like “when did you get coOL?” and then he would tell Edward how much he wanted to kill him and I would be like “jesus, when did you become such an asshole?” and then he would distract the wolves so the Cullens could hunt and then I would be like “Yo dude, when did you get coooool again?” and then I would remember that he kissed Bella without consent and just……

There was a similar thing with Sam because at the beginning he was like, “the Cullens are fine,stop being such a little bitch about it, Jacob.” And then later on, he’s like “nvm we gonna kill this baby”

I know these are actually just character inconsistencies, but I’m not putting them in the bad section, no I will not be taking criticism.

Bad:

I wish they had told us more about stuff. Like they didn’t really explain why Jacob was so obnoxiously against them fucking. And Bella says it’s impossible for Edward to get her pregnant but umm how? Why? If that is the case, please explain to me why he is able to get her pregnant. Like this was the entire plot of the movie, and there was very little actual explanation which is annoying. I would like to understand the crux of your story, thanks. 

There was that thing where that woman from Argentina like, knew that Bella was carrying a demon baby. I feel like that is kind of painting woc as being mystical, and hey, that’s not great.

Jacob imprinting on a literal baby yes I know it is more complex than that, but still, come on stephanie. 

“EJ for Edward Jacob if it’s a boy” EWWWWWWWNODONOTNAMEYOURCHILDTHAT!

“Reneesme if it’s a girl” that’s good by comparison, but you set a super fucking low bar, my guy 

The wolf talking was uhh, pretty terrible. No thank you, sir. 

GIVE ME MORE CHARLIE!!!! WHERE IS OUR KING???!!! WHY ISN’T HE ON MY SCREEN?!!!

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part Two

Good: 

this movie is also a lot of fun. I liked meeting all the vampires from across the world, and I did like the plot more or less. I thought that it was exciting enough, and I have no issue with them splitting it into two movies, I actually liked it. There were two distinct plots with distinct tones, so I thought they were justified in the split.

I liked the opening montage. I thought their use of white and red (just as they did in part one) was very cool and chilling. In addition, the shot where Bella opens her eyes and adjusts to seeing in a vampire-y way is really cool. Like it makes me get why people like this franchise, like it’s cool!

Jacob is fucking awesome in this movie; basically because he isn’t attracted to Bella anymore, and so he is no longer attracted to Bella, so he isn’t constantly whiny and mean. I liked that he made up with Sam, and I do think the movie did a good job making the imprinting thing not weird. Jacob is just cool here. I REALLY liked that everyone was like “we gotta pretend Bella is dead” and he was like “no fuck that, charlie knows I’m a werewolf, and he’s on his way over to see her.” He is just constantly doing the right thing, and I love it. 

Lovely piano song™  

The fight scene at the end was fun to watch. It was by no means a masterful spectacle of choreography, but I liked it anyway. 

RAMI MALEK IS THE AVATAR?!!! I FUCKING LOVE IT!

Bad:

There were some moments where things were not explained all the way like there was this part where Jacob comments that more wolves are turning than before, and I was kinda like “wait what why” and then it is just not mentioned again. And I feel like there were a couple other moments like this that just felt like they were trying to say something from the book and then just didn’t have time to expand on it. Maybe I just missed something.

What made Alice think that only Bella would be smart enough to go to the book that the page is from? That was my first thought when she left that note.

The movie made it seem like the volturi really just wanted a reason to fight with them, and only Aro seeing himself get killed was able to deter him. But um… why? Why do the volturi give a shit about fighting the Cullens? Also I was a little annoyed with the final battle like for real dude? The ‘it was all in his head’ trope? Fuck that, if you are going to kill a bunch of good characters, at least commit to it yaknow?

I’m also not a fan of what they did with Alice. She just became a device to solve all of the problems. Like she leaves for the whole movie, comes back and fixes everything? That’s not good writing, mate. 

I wish that they told Charlie things. Like I wish he was in the loop. Speaking of.... GIVE ME MORE CHARLIE AND ANNA KENDRICK. SHE WAS NOT IN THIS MOVIE AT ALL!! FUCK THAT, HER CHARACTER IS GREAT. AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT, MORE LEAH AND SETH, TOO!!

As a series

Yes, watching these movies is so much fun despite all the dumb shit. In fact, it might even be because of the dumb shit. I would just like to make it very clear that I legitimately loved watching them, and I really liked writing about them as well. I say this because there have been (and there will be more) harsh criticisms.

This part will mostly be me venting.

Edward and Bella are both very bland, and Jacob is for sure, the most interesting of the main cast. 

Okay I don’t wanna spend too much time on this one, but Edward is 109 and Bella is like 17 when they meet. I don’t have to explain why that is kinda messed up. 

I really really wish that there had been more Carlysl (another spelling mistake I am sure), Emmet, and Alice. I liked them both a lot, and we don’t really get to learn about their backstories. There is also supposed to be this friendship between Bella and Alice, but I wish that had been fleshed out a lot more. I would have liked to see more bro time between them. 

I also wish there was more Seth and Leah. And let's throw in Charlie and Anna Kendrick for that matter. 

Not a fan of the way that threat of sexual violence is used with Bella in the first two, TW for minor discussion of that here. In the first one Bella runs into some guys who harass her, and Edward saves her. The thing is, he only knew it was happening because he was following her, and I’m not a fan of the narrative that perpetuates. In the next one, she actively seeks out a dangerous situation with a man, so that Edward might come save her, no thanks.

Green screens are used, and they are not always very good.

There are moments throughout the series where you are like “oh yeah, that is definitely a direct quote from the books” like when Jacob says “stop looking at me like that” “like what” “like I’m your favorite person in the world” like okay bro turn down the emo.

 Okay and now the most important thing, the lovely piano song ™. This is going to be the longest paragraph about it because this is possibly the most missed opportunity in the entire franchise (yes this is the type of person that I am). If you aren’t sure, the song in question is the one from the Ed/Bella relationship montage in the first movie, where Edward actually plays it on the piano. As I’m sure I’ve said, this piece of music is FUCKING AMAZING. Like it makes me actually quite emotional, and its association with the movies makes me feel more strongly about them. That is where the missed opportunity comes in because IT IS NOT IN NEW MOON OR ECLIPSE. Perhaps I just missed it, but I was making an active attempt to find it. It would have been ridiculously cool if they had used this song as Bella and Edward’s love theme. It would have been super cool if they had gradually added instruments throughout the series, making the piece grow and change, just like their love. It would have been so cool if they had added a counter-melody when Reneesme was born to symbolize the addition to their family. It would have been so cool if the closing shot was Bella and Edward in the field, and the original piano solo plays to remind us of the foundation of their love (and the series); cut to black and then the song plays through the credits for the main cast. God that would have been so cool, I get emotional just thinking about it. Instead, it is just a song they play sometimes when they want us to feel something. It works like that, but it isn’t as cool as it really could have been, which makes me sad. 

Alright that’s it everyone, holy shit that was a lot. I am going to give you two ratings. On a scale of 1-10, how good is the series? not better than a three. But MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY, on a scale of 1-10, how enjoyable are they to watch? At least a seven. 

If you read all of this you are great, thank you for dealing with me for this long, I did spend hours on this. 

[goldtinged]

                         EMMA CARSTAIRS  //  A  CRASH  COURSE

            ❝  kit  thought  about  emma  with  her  sword,  emma  saving  his  life.                  emma  hugging  cristina  and  looking  at  julian  like  he  hung  the  moon  ❞

CONTEXT

emma cordelia carstairs is a character appearing within cassandra clare’s shadowhunter universe. she is a shadowhunter (half angel, half human warriors mandated to protect the world from demons)

she appears as the central character in THE DARK ARTIFICES, a trilogy published in 2016. 

She also appears in THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS, specifically as a side character in city of heavenly fire (book 6). she is 12 years old during the events of the original trilogy

If you’ve seen shadowhunters  TV - she does not appear in the show but some people related to her do. JEM CARSTAIRS (aka brother zachariah) is her uncle and HELEN BLACKTHORN is the sister of her parabatai, Julian. 

CONTEXT PT 2: IMPORTANT EVENTS / TERMS

the dark war: civil war between shadowhunter factions which led to the destruction of large swarths of shadowhunter society and the death of family families. Emma’s parents (supposedly) died in the dark war. evil side is led by Jonathan Morgenstern. This shit is basically based off of Harry Potter so just think deathly hallows adkakd

the endarkened: shadowhunter’s who were turned from angelic to demonic, and became part of Jonathan’s army. Some did so by choice, others by force. 

the clave: shadowhunter government, whose seat is in Idris. Idris is the shadowhunter capital, a small city hidden somewhere between france and germany that cannot be accessed by non-shadowhunters. all the good characters hate the clave (and rightly so)

downworlders: name givern to non shadowhunters. eg, werewolves, vampires, warlocks fae ect. 

the cold peace: a policy enacted by the clave at the end of the dark war, that punished faerie’s for supporting Jonathan Morgenstern. Leads to the exile of shadowhunters with fae heritage, regardless of their allegiance during the war. it makes interacting with faerie’s illegal.  basically any character who is decent fucking hates this policy

parabatai: soldiers who take a vow to become twinned and fight side by side until death.  After the vow they are bound together magically for life. It is physically painful to be apart from one another, and the pain of losing a parabatai is considered to be unendurable. They are closer than siblings, and fairly rare within the shadowhunter world.  it is illegal for them to fall in love and doing so is punishable under the strongest laws. eg, stripping of runes and exile

BASICS:

Emma was born in 1995. Her parents are John and Cordelia Carstairs. She emigrated to Los Angeles at the beginning of the Dark War as her parents wanted to help assist the Shadowhunter’s they knew there. 

She was raised alongside The Blackthorn family, training at the institute they run. Her childhood best friend is Julian Blackthorn. 

Emma is a skilled shadowhunter, regarded by some to be the best of her generation, and the successor to Jace Herondale of the title. 

She is the current owner of Cortana, a shortsword held within the Carstairs family, forged by Wayland the Smith, it is said to be one of the great swords and therefore is her most valued possession

SKILLS + ATTRIBUTES + RANDOM CHARACTERISATIONS:

extremely dedicated and driven. is considered the best not because of her raw talent but because of how hard she trains. considers the same for herself, she cares most about being good so that when the time comes to enact revenge for her parents she will be successful

distant within the blackthorn family: although she grew up with them, and they consider her their extra sister, emma does not feel comfortable within the family. partially because she misses her own, partially because she believes they don’t consider her family. always refers to them as “julian’s family” “julian’s siblings”. realises by the end of the series she is integral to the blackthorns and how much she loves them / allows herself to be loved by them

funny and blunt: she is sarcastic, both as a means of deflecting attention but also because it’s her sense of humour. she is extremely blunt, bad at lying, and will pretty much always just say what she thinks. not one to maintain relationships she doesn’t value

she is confident and outspoken, especially in terms of her sexuality

skill with music is a family trait but emma can’t play the violin for shit which makes her feel bad. 

FAMILY:

Her biological family: John and Cordelia Carstairs (parents, deceased), James Carstairs (uncle), Mina Carstairs (cousin)

Her adopted family: The Blackthorns

consisting of;

Mark and Helen Blackthorn: the eldest Blackthorn siblings, half siblings to the rest. They are both half faerie, half shadowhunter. Both are exiled at the end of the Dark War as part of The Cold Peace (a policy to punish all fae for the involvement of faerie in working against Shadowhunters)

Julian Blackthorn: the eldest sibling living in the family home during the war. He is Emma’s parabatai

Ty and Livvy Blackthorn: twins, two years younger than Julian. 

Dru Blackthorn: the youngest girl, four years younger than Emma and Julian

Tavvy Blackthorn: the baby of the family

OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS:

Cristina Rosales: Emma’s best friend, who is on a trip to LA from Mexico during the event of the series (international postings are part of shadowhunter training)

Jem Carstairs: her uncle and the only living Carstairs left beside herself (until his daughter Mina is born). 

Tessa Gray: a powerful warlock, Jem’s wife

Clary Fairchild: also her best friend and a mentor. Clary helped her and Julian after the war

Jace Herondale: her mentor and someone she admires

Kit Herondale: Comes to live with the family during the events of the book. He and Emma relate to feeling both family to and separated from The Blackthorns.  Sidenote, kit is a legend and I love him

Cameron Ashdown: Emma’s on and off again boyfriend

Diana Wrayburn: tutor at the institute, only person in the series with braincells. 

CRASH COURSE OF THE EVENTS OF THE SERIES

CITY OF HEAVENLY FIRE + THE NOVELLAS //

emma and julian become parabatai, so that emma isn’t sent to the shadowhunter academy (school for war orphans lol)

We could—” he started, then stopped, swallowed, and started again. “We could become parabatai.” He said it shyly, half-turning his face away from her, so that the shadows partially hid his expression. “Then they couldn’t separate us,” he added. “Not ever.” Emma felt her heart turn over. “Jules, being parabatai is a big deal,” she said. “It’s—it’s forever.” He looked at her, his face open and guileless. There was no trickery in Jules, no darkness. “Aren’t we forever?” he asked  

julian kills his father in the dark war after he is endarkened, to protect his siblings. the clave puts him through a gruelling trial that turns both emma and julian against the clave, embedding a deep seed of resentment and mistrust that fuels a lot of their actions through the rest of the series

julian’s uncle takes over the institute but unknown to everyone, he’s mentally unable to manage it. julian starts running the institute age 12, in secret, so that his family can stay together. emma does not know about this

LADY MIDNIGHT //

emma discovers the body of faerie children, murdered in the same way as her parents were. She always suspected her parents weren’t killed in the war, but killed under the cover of the war. she begins to investigate the murders, and hopes she can enact the revenge she has dreamed of fulfilling

meanwhile, a faerie contingent who have also heard about the murders ask for emma’s help solving them. Because this is illegal, they offer to return Mark Blackthorn to the family in exchange for the shadowhunters help

meanwhile meanwhile, emma and julian realise they are in love and they fuck, even though that is ALSO illegal because parabatai cannot fall in love with each other (though no one knows why). their powers start to change as their feelings for eachother grow

emma solves her parents murder. she kills the person who killed them but realises she gets no satisfaction from it. too late realises she’s based her whole life around getting revenge and now she has nothing

emma talks to jem about the parabatai law and finds out it’s illegal because there is a curse that becomes active when parabatai fall in love. emma thinks the reason her and julian’s powers are changing is because the curse is starting

she receives some frankly terrible advice from tessa and decides to make julian fall out of love with her by breaking his heart

does so by telling him she’s dating his brother, mark

asks mark to fake the relationship, mark in turn offers they just date for real, which she goes for. END BOOK

LORD OF SHADOWS //

emma and mark are dating but it’s fallen back into fake dating because they realise they’re better friends and, mark is in a love triangle between his ex fairy boyfriend and cristina

eventually when emma is sure julian sufficiently resents her they stage a massive break-up

this is a whole ass book of emma and julian angst,,,,, and it’s delicious

julian finds out about the curse and why emma lied and he’s mad, but also, he can’t fully be mad because the curse is deFINITELY WORKING NOW

back to the actual plot: a group of pro cold war supported with extreme anti-downworld takes (they are legit just fantasy fascists) start to rise to power within the clave. honestly there is way more actual plot but it’s not relevant to this blog or emma’s characterisation so moving on

back to emma and julian: they come up with a plan to deal with the curse. emma will beg the inquisitor to exile her but not strip her runes in exchange for them not telling everyone paratabai are cursed which he agrees to

UNTIL ..... the cohort initiate violence during a clave trial and the inquisitor is killed. so is julian’s little sister, livvy. END BOOK

QUEEN OF AIR AND DARKNESS //

i hate this book so there’s that

the leader of the cohort is made inquisitor and starts enacting shitty policies

julian is worried about the curse and how it’s starting to affect him so he just goes and gets all his emotions removed and so he feels nothing for anyone

ty spends the book bullying kit into helping him bring livvy back from the dead (AND IT WORKS LOL)

800 pages of bullshit I don’t have time to get into

the curse comes to fruition, turning emma and julian into giant nephilim with great powers but no feelings (think like, aang in the avatar state) they basically nearly kill everyone but then their family saves them

conveniently, the heavenly fire burns off their parabatai runes thus solving their problem

the cohort take control of the capital in protest of alec lightwood getting made inquisitor. all the shadowhunters who aren’t weirdos abandon the city

helen blackthorn is allowed to return and she decides to take over running the institute, freeing julian from his obligation

emma and julian decide to go travelling the world and the series ends

EMMA + JULIAN:

they are a MESS but I love them. 

essentially, they know each other better than anyone. emma understands the pressure julian is under, the weight on his shoulders, his insecurities but also his strengths. julian see’s how emma puts on a facade of strength, gives her a safe space to be vulnerable, and provides a haven of unconditional love

used to sleep in the same bed as kids to help with nightmares, developed a system of communication only they understand, tell eachother everything (until lady midnight anyway)

emma understands how much of his life revolves around his family because hers does too

“you don’t have to do this for me” emma was saying, softly but earnestly, in a voice cristina had never heard her use before“I think I do” julian said “I think I  remember making a vow to that effect”“whither thou goest, I will go, whatever stupid thing you do, I will also do? was that the vow”

I LOVE THEM!!

best friends to lovers EXCELLENCE

THIS is the biggest crash course ever and I hope it makes sense. It’s hard to condense so much information not only from the books (and each is like 800 pages) but also from the entire world and lore. But I hope this helps somewhat and I’m always willing to answer questions for anyone who has any. 

[january-summers]

Please excuse me while I have a brief ramble about Ron Weasley and Fanfiction for a moment. Also a few other Weasley Tropes I’m currently having issues with.

As someone who has dealt with some shitty and manipulative people, it’s easy to see how Ron Weasley’s canon behaviour could be read to inspire the ‘Weasley family conspiracy’  which gave rise to the Ron the Death Eater Trope.

BUT, and this is a pretty huge BUT, it’s also easy to see how this is the nonmalicious behaviour of a literal child who is the last in a long line of boys, but not the-first-girl, and has his own issues and is figuring himself out.

While I myself have used Ron’s... ‘less desirable traits’ to delay the enactment of the Ron-Harry friendship by changing the mindset in which they were viewed, (Harry and Ron work as friends because they are HarryAndRon) I don’t think Ron was canonically part of a conspiracy to ensnare Harry in a Weasley marriage contract to drain his accounts into the Weasley family funds.

Why am I saying this?

Mostly as a disclaimer because I have some demands internet!

I would like: ONE Harry Potter Universe Fic, with the feel of a Ron-Bashing fic (IE: the revelation that Harry is being manipulated with the result of throwing off the shackles of his manipulators and becoming an intentionally competent badass (and Hermione isn’t treated as set dressing who does exposition dumps if it’s a Harmony and betrays him if it’s not)), but if you could HOLD the Ron-Bashing, like, Negative Ron-Bashing please.

Also: No Hermione-Bashing either please? (In the “I, Harry Potter, must gain my independence and become stupidly OP” it always seems like either one or both of Harry’s Best Friends turn out to be... “evil”, and I’m sick of it? Come on, OP Golden Trio for the win.)

Here’s a fricking Idea for your ‘blood inheritance test’:

Harry - gets some cool stuff Hermione - Turns out to have some pretty interesting Muggle ancestors Ron - fulfils the requirements to inherit something, literally even just a small property in a quiet corner of the UK

OR, or:

Ginny joins the group without replacing her brother or secretly potion-ing Harry

Also: if the Weasley twins could talk in complete sentences each, like they do in canon, instead of switching back and forth every other word and making thing difficult AF to read...

-

Look, I’m not going to lie, Ron/Hermione wasn’t my ship, it’s still not my favourite, and I honestly only really enjoy them as a ship because of the portrayals of them by the HP roleplay community. 

I don’t mind Harry/Hermione, it was the ship I expected when I first read Harry Potter all those years ago, but I also don’t mind it didn’t become canon.

Honestly Hermione/the-pursuit-of-knowledge-and-happiness is my Hermione OTP, and if that happiness involves one or both of the above mentioned guys of the Trio, awesome.

As long as the other isn’t thrown under the fricking Knight Bus for it.

-

Sorry, just found out about Hogwarts Legacy and was in the mood for a HP fic for the first time in a long time, but the plotlines that sounded interesting... well ^ I think ^ you can guess ^ the part I wasn’t ^ in the mood for ^

-

Oh my god, concept:

There’s a “Ron was betraying you the whole time as part of a conspiracy” reveal, post Canon, so Harry asks Ron to drink Veritaserum to get to the truth, and Ron’s all like “sure mate *drinks potion* I know I was a bit of an arse once or twice in school but I’m literally not part of a conspiracy to betray you, shitty that you didn’t trust me, but I get why you had to be sure” followed by the revelation that the person who revealed the ‘facts’ was trying to break up their friendship... because reasons.

-

...Oh! One last thing! If authors could stop using non-consensual sexual acts, or injury to genitals to punish evil-doers in Harry Potter fics, please, that would be amazing.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about: please tell me where you read your fanfic so I can go there and be as happy as you.

[amphtaminedreams]

To All the Characters I’ve Overly Identified with Before: Borderline Personality Disorder and Attachment to Fictional Characters

It’s been a month, and I’m still not over how Game of Thrones ended. I’m still not over the way that a character who, throughout the previous seventy something episodes of the show, was only ever ruthless towards people who were deserving of her wrath (within the context of westerosi justice because let’s not forget everyone’s favourite man of honour Ned Stark decapitated a young man for running for his life in the first episode), suddenly massacred a whole city in the penultimate episode. I’m not over the way that writers who spent the previous seasons showing that they were capable of translating the moral ambiguity of George R.R Martin’s characters from page to screen, got lazy and left us with a character whose actions became impossible to defend right as the show was ending. I’m not over the way that such a beautifully complex character who endured so much hurt and trauma was reduced to nothing more than a “crazy woman” by a couple of male writers in her final moments. I’m not over the fact that Emilia Clarke put her heart and soul into the character and did everything she could to bring Daenerys Targaryen to life for David Benioff and Dan Weiss to both literally and figuratively assassinate her.

I think those feels have been felt by a lot of Game of Thrones fans since the show ended. God knows I’ve watched enough youtube video essays and read enough articles and liked enough tweets reiterating the sentiment. Daenerys Targaryen was, in my opinion, the best character on Game of Thrones. I wasn’t angry because she didn’t end up sitting on the throne (though my boy Drogon made sure nobody else ever would either and I guess I can get behind that), I was angry because all the balance that made her character so great was thrown out the window in order to progress the story of her male counterpart and bring a show that probably could’ve done with another 2 seasons to an end. Dany has always had a dark side, she is the “fire” that the title of the book series refers to, but throughout the show, we’ve never seen her indulge that side to the point of no return. We’ve seen her wrestle with it and use it to exact punishment on those who deserve it when needs be, and that was part of what I liked about her. Not to go all feminist essay on anyone’s ass but we don’t usually get to see women in TV who are celebrated for their powers of intimidation, and I liked how prior to season 8, the narrative never made female characters like Dany or Arya or Brienne out to be monsters for killing people the same way that basically every single man on the show did at one point or another. I liked that sometimes she was a little excessive because it made sense, she did have “dragon” in her, and she still had lines she wouldn’t cross, clear values and principles; she fought for the innocent, for women and for children, and for freedom. On a personal level, I loved her because we watched her go from a lonely, scared and vulnerable girl to a strong, ambitious and self-assured woman and that was a trajectory I wanted to relate to.

And then all of a sudden, without any justification or build up at all, she’s a mass murderer of the same “downtrodden” people she always claimed to fight for. Fuck, I’m thinking. I literally watched that episode through my hands because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. When I say I cried on and off for about 3 days after I watched the final episode, I’m not exaggerating; I only need to see a screen cap now a month later or an interview with Emilia Clarke and I’m off again. It literally felt as if I was mourning the loss of a real person. But this isn’t the first time I’ve had this kind of attachment to a character. Daenerys Targaryen was probably just the last in a long list of women I overly identified with.

I’m not much like her at all really, I’ve burnt myself from taking the film off my microwaved lasagne and not moving my thumb away from the hot air in time (lmao), however, I think I saw parts of myself in her journey and traits that I wanted to have, thus, I latched on. Before Daenerys Targaryen there was Spencer Hastings and before her there was Cassie Ainsworth and then if we’re gonna throw it all the way back, there was Hermione Granger (and some other characters I was more mildly obsessed with along the way, Katniss Everdeen, Bree Van de Kamp and Cosima Niehaus, I’m looking at you). I still love all those characters now but when their respective shows or films were actually current, I was completely obsessed. I spent my 16th birthday at the Harry Potter studios on the outskirts of London with my family, forget birthday parties or meals out with my friends. I wished more than anything that I had 2 best friends that loved me unconditionally and I did my best to emulate that drive and intelligence and work ethic everyone associates with Hermione. I told myself I was just like her even though I lacked the confidence to put my hand up in all but one of my classes and last time I checked, was just trying to conquer GCSEs not fight an evil wizard snaked hybrid man or whatever Voldemort is.  I identified with the loneliness and the need for control that I saw in Cassie, and was like “oH eM GeE, tHat’s sO mE!” at Spencer’s perfectionism. When I was speeding for my exams (and then, unfortunately, for long after), I felt spiritually connected to that whole Pretty Little Liars arc where Spencer started popping adderall on the daily even though I could really only wish for someone to care about me enough to stalk me like A did and the worst possible outcome of my all nighter was not taking in enough content to bullshit my way through a 30 marker.

They would understand me, they would be my friend. They represent me. That was the baseline sentiment of my obsession. And I think that’s the borderline part of me jumping out. See, such a huge part of BPD is feeling unwanted and misunderstood and forgettable and really, deeply lonely.  Like it’s a kind of loneliness I think you feel like an actual person can never really fulfil because the (faulty and not necessarily reflective of reality) thought pattern is that they’ll lose interest and leave you sooner or later. Fictional characters are always there, until the show gets cancelled or the character gets killed off, at least, and then comes the completely disproportionate tidal wave of grief. They exist in a different world too, a one that feels a lot less dangerous (even if it’s actually way more dangerous, I mean I really wouldn’t last five fucking minutes in Westeros) and detached from the often chronically muted reality of BPD.

Then there’s the trouble with the sense of self, part and package of BPD for most, which facilitates, you know, thinking that a genius witch or, like, any character in skins (because in hindsight as great as that show was, WHY DO NONE OF THEM HAVE JOBS YET SEEMINGLY AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF DRUGS AND PARENTS THAT NEVER SEEM TO CARE WHERE THE HELL THEY ARE!?) resembles you as a person in any way. Though I suppose I’m learning recently as I begin to reflect more on what I enjoy and value, I’ve never had much more than a vague idea of what my positive qualities are, so when I saw them fully realised in a character it was a treasure trove of mannerisms and traits and ways of carrying oneself to adopt. It becomes a mould into which you can squeeze the ball of meh-ness and uncertainty you feel you resemble. Now I’m realising that although it might take me a little more time and a lot more effort, it’s much more rewarding to become the very best version of myself, but back then, I suppose I didn’t recognise why I was doing what I was doing. 

I only got diagnosed with BPD and started learning about it when it was 19, so all the years before that were pretty much spent unaware of the reasons why I had these quirks. As I “recover” (I suppose that’s the right word) and I get back into hobbies and spend more time with friends, I feel like I’m beginning to discover more and more of who I am. I’m starting to accept that there are positive things about me and plenty of things for people to like, right here in this world, not some fictional one.

I still love characters way too much and get overly attached and invested in TV shows but even that doesn’t necessarily have to be something to be ashamed of. When I’ve got into *ahem* discussions with people online about characters before, I’ve occasionally gotten the “why do you care so much, it’s not real life!” in response, and I mean, there’s definitely a point to be made if your passion for something is causing you to lash out at real life people with real life feelings. But when you’re not, when it can give you hours of discussion and entertainment and can drive you to make real positive changes in the world too, what’s wrong with passion? There’s nothing I love more than having a conversation with someone who I can tell really loves what they’re talking about, so why should I be ashamed of having the capacity to become deeply invested in things too? I think as long as it’s not taking over my life as I have allowed it to do so in the past, there’s nothing wrong with having passion for fictional things or for anything, for that matter. As long as it’s not something fucked up, like idk, white supremacy or Rick and Morty (JOKING). 

I don’t regret loving all the things I loved because being a huge Harry Potter fan for so many years did give me an escape when I absolutely hated myself and couldn’t find much enjoyment in real life. I hope that if I do have children one day, they’ll love it too, maybe not quite as much as I did but enough for it to give them all the joy it gave me, all the same. So in summary, yeah, fuck David Benioff and Dan Weiss (lmao, I’m joking, they’re just shitty original screenplay writers who could probably do with a class or two on how to write female characters), but also, understand before you make fun of someone for being overly invested in something that there’s probably a good reason for it and that, at the end of the day, they’re usually not hurting anyone. I’ll probably still be stanning Daenerys Targaryen and pretending season 8 episode 5 didn’t happen until the day I die. Let me live, okay?

Lauren x

[nosferatyou]

I was tagged by @lazingonsunday and @shes-outta-sight to do one of the long tag, get to know them, type of things. Which I absolutely love by the way. I don’t talk about myself much.

What was the last thing you read?

Well I was editing the latest chapter of my fic of that counts? If not some random josh one shot a couple hours ago lol.

Favorite Movie?

Man it’s ever revolving. It was Django Unchained for a long ass time, but now I think it’s Baby Driver.

Favorite Book?

Misery by Stephen King. I read it years ago and I have a lot of good memories tied to it. Me and my friend became closer through his works and this was the first one I read. It’ll stay close in my heart.

Dream Date?

It’s one I’ve been on before but just Vinyl Shopping. It’s simple and easy but music in a relationship is important to me. I gotta make sure they have good picks. But there is something so soft about it all.

Do you have a crush?

Sadly no. But I’m fully in Joshes lane rn if that means anything?

What are your hobbies?

Oof okay. I mostly draw like all hours of the day. But I very actively keep up with guitar and bass. I write as well. I make videos for my friends. I collect old and beat up vinyls. Lot of art stuff

Favorite time of day?

Night time. Like from hours 10-3. That’s my true alone time and it’s something I cherish and look forward to everyday.

If you could look like anything, what would you like to look like?

I don’t wish to change anything about my body. I think I’d be silly to. But man I wish I could actually afford clothes I’d like to wear. Real bellbottoms you know? I want that vintage shit.

Are you romantic?

In a secure relationship yes. I show too much emotion too fast in the beginning. But boy oh boy when I get romantic. I get very touchy feely. Man date ideas. Lot of carefully curated playlists.

Favorite type of weather?

That time in like August/September when I can wear jeans and maybe a light jacket. But it’s still warm, you know?

What do you like talking about?

Music. I talk about it all day long. The foundation behind it. The artist. I could discuss guitars and instruments with people all damn day. I just. I love everything about it. But also GVF is my hyperfixation rn and my friend is ready to shoot my head off if I speak another word about Jakes guitar playing.

What are your turn ons?

Ngl I’m akin to a boy with long hair. It’s my vice. I’ve only dated long haired musicians. But I just want someone who radiates some kind of light you know? I’ve seen too much darkness. I want someone genuine and real. Is it too much to ask for a positive person?

What are your turn offs?

I’ve dealt with a lot in my past. Basically anything that’s negative. Ignorance mostly. I don’t want someone who refuses to learn. It’s stupid. I just want honesty and someone with an open mind. Anything else is a no go.

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it?

Okay so. I really want tattoos. I designed something about a year ago I want really badly but it’s so expensive. Thinking rationally. Right now I’d really like some line art of bust. Idk what tho.

Do you have any pets?

3! 2 dogs, Ruby and Nellie, both too six year old mutts. Nellie is the weirdest god damn dog I’ve ever had. And ruby is basically a fox dog. And then there is Friday my cat. He can be a bitch boy but he’s a sweet boy who’s just being a cat. (I also have ten plants but most people don’t consider them pets)

Dream Job?

I’m still searching for that. Recently my heads been floating towards playing live shows as a guitar or bass player. But I’m no where near the point of even considering. I’m pretty shitty. But how Cool would it be to play that violin bow with my guitar on stage?

Dream place to live?

Not considering any potential jobs. I just want to live in a big log cabin somewhere on the outskirts of a town. Out in the wilderness and free to just live.

Dream vacation?

I’ve never been to Europe. I’d love to just road trip around in a van honestly. But before that visit my great grandfather grave in Scotland. He was a kings hand and did a lot back in the day. I’d be cool to see. But then I’d fuck around in Europe.

Do you have any piercings?

I’ve got my nose and ears pierced. I’m pretty happy with that

If you had kids what would you name them?

Man I don’t even want to think about that.

What are your best traits?

I’m a great listener. I’m extremely compassionate. Will do anything to help friends. And I feel like my music taste isn’t half bad.

Worst traits?

The compassionate thing tends to bite me in the ass. I’ve got a lot of emotions. I also have 20 things I want to do all at once all the time. I loose sleep because of it. There is more but I’d go on too long.

Worst fear?

Weirdly enough any type of natural disaster. When I was way too young I watched “The Impossible” and then shortly after learned about techtonic plates and I never forgotten about it or where they are.

What do you want to eat right now?

Brownies. And a fucking burrito.

Best vacation you’ve been on?

I went on a road trip to Chicago recently and I just makes so many good memories. I saw ninja sex party’s 10th anniversary, which was fantastic. But I got to visit a friend all weekend. But my favorite part was the ride back. The whole time we just talked but also sang to old 50s songs and just had this moment of unity. I still think about it

Favorite City?

I haven’t been to too many places yet so I’m gonna go with my hometown, Nashville. If you look past all the tourists. It’s got a very rich musical history and in certain places you just feel it. I loved living there and it made me who I was.

Favorite social media platform?

Tumblr. It’s really the only one I ever check anymore. Plus I’ve made some great friends on here.

Favorite article of clothing?

My fucking bellbottoms. I wear them whenever I can. They give me so much confidence.

Do you play any sports?

Fuck no. I have no coordination whatsoever.

Favorite meal of the day?

Lunch. You have a lot more options. Plus I just like the vibe

What are you excited for?

Starting the tenth I have a lot of good things coming my way. In that week I get to finally end this semester, the new Harry styles album releases, I get a new bass, and I get to see fucking Greta Van Fleet. None of you know how excited I am for that. Pit tickets. Jesus it’ll be good.

Not excited for?

Finals. And an um.. upcoming funeral.

When was the last time you cried?

I honestly can’t remeber and that really scares me.

Dream house?

I basically answered this earlier but gimme that big ass log cabin.

Something you hate about this world?

Don’t get my started. I hate that everyone hates themselves all the time when they have no reason to. I hate that 8 people have most of the worlds money and are doing nothing to help global warming. I hate the man that’s in power and what he’s helped cause. I hate everyone who refuses to accept literally any fact. I hate that my future is bleak because of some old ass white men.

Something you love about this world?

I love the light that radiates off of certain people. I love that our generation has hope and that some people are actually trying to make change. I love the raw creativity I see in others and I love that we are bringing back the resurgence of peace and love.

What scents do you like?

Old records and books. Its the simple pleasures.

What kind of sleeper are you?

Typically heavy but sometimes I Sleep so little it feels like I got nothing at all.

Cat or dog person?

Don’t make me pick! I grew up with both, and very partial to both.

How long would you survive in a zombie Apocolypse?

I wish I could tell you. I’d like to think I’d live awhile but I would probably be the ones who look like they have hope and then accidentally get taken out.

Are you trusting?

I used to be. I realized recently how thick my walls really are.

What fictional character do you identify with?

Sorry to be boring but nothing is coming to mind. But then again I never felt akin to anyone really?

What labels do you commonly get?

In high school I was called “the quiet one” if that tells you anything.

What song would be your life anthem?

Sunshine on my shoulders by John Denver is the only one coming to mind. I think I just want the feeling it gives me to be what I feel all the time.

What issues are you dealing with right now?

Two friends in the last month Um. Took their own lives. One being an old friend. I’ve never dealt with death. My brain doesn’t know how to handle it. I also think I might have ADD. But. That’s the tip of the iceberg rn

How can someone win you over?

Typically I’m drawn to people who are the loudest in the room. I like that their confident and can speak their minds but what wins me over about them is when they really open up. When I learn about the real then rather than the face that they put on. Most of the time it goes that way.

What’s something people don’t know about you?

I’m making a short film with some friends who go to Columbia. Should be out soonish.

I tag

@pvre-mourning @peacelovekiszka @fretavangleet @aint-no-denying @sosozoso

[cozcat]

a rant about mamma mia 2, because @starlene asked...

the farther i get away from having seem mm2, the less i like it. like yes, yay, it's a fun happy movie musical with beautiful scenery and abba bops, but i don't love it nearly as much as i feel like i should, and with the general relentless love for it i feel like i need to justify it. i enjoyed watching it the first time, i saw it twice, but i'm not sure i'll be rushing to get it on dvd or to watch it again. it feels like one or two of these on their own wouldn't have even been something to note, but they obviously have added up. and i'd hope this much was obvious, but this is all a bunch of my opinions.

first off, the plot on the whole. apparently the decision to kill off donna was because meryl was busy (on the post, i think) - but they could have done anything else. donna trusts sophie to look after the villa while she reconciles with her mother, maybe, so she doesn't appear for 90% of the movie. instead we get a plot that really sours the first movie in hindsight. i'm glad that the stage show is so so different from the movie - it meant that i could sit and enjoy the brilliant australian dynamos jumping on a bed during dancing queen without it being shadowed by that grief. whereas it's harder to watch the first movie now, knowing what's to come.

they didn't even handle the decision to kill her off well. she's the heart and soul of the first movie, and we don't even know how she died. sure, they didn't want to dwell on that, but it's not something that can be ignored. was it sudden, an aneurysm or a heart attack? was it an accident, a car crash or a boat sinking? was it an illness, was it short or long? we don't even know that much, and it feels like them brushing her off. and losing someone to a sudden cause is going to be different to watching them die slowly. make this movie about her life, yes, but don't gloss over her death.

the way they shoehorned in ruby wasn't great, either. she didn't show for donna's graduation, it sounds like she didn't show at any point during sophie's childhood. it doesn't even sound like she turned up for her only daughter's funeral. but she shows up for a party. this could have been handled so much better. you've only got cher for three days? have it be ruby turning up to see donna, before or after sophie is born, as a final goodbye, a final disowning. she's supposed to be dead anyway. instead she's just really shitty. she could have had her grand dame entrance be amazing and lowkey villainous but bleh. plus, that deals with the weirdness of cher and meryl being three years apart - which isn't even an issue i'd otherwise bring up here, but it could have been avoided. not like we got a scene with them onscreen together anyway, a wasted opportunity.

i hate that they changed ruby from being a probably uptight catholic woman who disowned her daughter for getting pregnant out of wedlock to a claire zachanassian-looking vegas performer who did the exact same thing. and then they imply fernando is donna's father. which is just. weird.

it brushed off tanya and rosie too. like, a lot. there's no moment when they really get to shine, which is a shame. i wish the actors playing their younger versions had more to work with - they were brilliantly cast and brilliantly performed, but really, the parallels between their younger and older selves were reduced to cake, wine, and their libidos. they could have come to the island after sam left, had a lovely chiquitita-esque moment - as good as new, as a trio song about friendship, i don't know what. just let them be caring loving friends a bit more please.

they did kind of reduce tanya and rosie to a few personality traits, but at least you could see the connection. meanwhile young donna never gelled as donna for me. she did fine, i wasn't sold on her voice, but god, she was never donna. nothing about the way young donna was written translated to donna.

(and on her voice - she's the one singing lead, when you've got an actual broadway performer literally right there, who can definitely outsing her. at least meryl has guts to her voice, rather than sounding airy and really unenergetic. when i kissed the teacher sounds so flat.)

rosie's crush on bill was just weird and uncomfortable. again with the discontinuity, she and tanya didn't even know about harry and bill in the first movie. and now i'm supposed to believe she's harboured a crush on this guy for twenty years.

bill's twin being bill-in-a-fat-suit was also really uncomfortable. if they wanted a hilarious contrast to fake us out, give him a mullet and a really ugly suit. instead, it's 2018, let's keep making fat people are funny jokes, that's not old and offensive at all!

and another uncomfortable thing. the locals at the villa went from being a fairly mixed group in terms of age and appearance to skewing so young and generic. and we went from them sassing donna, opening a trapdoor in the ceiling and throwing her in, laughing at her - to the staff of the villa fawning over sophie. it was really weird. like, sophie grew up there, she probably knew some of them from a young age, and they look like a kalokairi version of a period drama that uses interchangable extras for the uptight and extremely well behaved staff.

on the fawning locals, going from donna inheriting money and buying the building to donna getting handed it also sucks. like, bill realises he could be sophie's father because donna inherited money from a sophia - this pretty solidly negates that. a sophia on the mainland, at that. but it also kind of cheapens donna's strength - she gets pregnant in her early twenties, but she makes it, through sheer grit, and part of that is caring for an elderly woman, and apparently doing a good enough job of that to be left money in this woman's will, and then using that to start a business. instead, she's just handed a free (admittedly crappy) building? and let's be real, no way you could start up a hotel from a rundown building when you're a broke single mother with a newborn.

wasn't sold on the design either. you can tell that it's a new location, a new director, a new costume designer. i'm sure there was a reason for the new location but it still looked odd. i don't know what it was about the costumes that didn't gel either - but they just didn't. which is weird, because michele clapton is brilliant. i think it just moved too far from the aesthetic of the movie and the stage show. too clean-cut.

they made the young dads too bland, too. sure, we probably won't going to get the full version of donna's flashbacks, but long hair on sam, make harry a bit rockier. (at least bill's hair was kind of long.) her memory would have exaggerated them, but there has to have been something to exaggerate.

and now that i think about it, i think they might have forgotten bill's knee tattoos. despite multiple instances in the first movie where the entire frame is bill's knees.

on being an abba fan - i've been a fan of abba since i was about six, so i came into this knowing the songs. i jolted in my seat at i let the music speak as an instrumental, and i wish they'd done more of that. like, that was a good move. it has brought out some gorgeous songs that a lot of people didn't know - i love i've been waiting for you, and despite the mammoth lyric rewrites, i'm glad people know it.

but they did kisses of fire dirty. it's a great song, they could have even had the supposed-to-be-awful version turn into the relatively good version on the soundtrack, rather than having donna get up and sing andante andante. it's a pretty song, it's also an incredibly slow song, so somehow it doesn't strike me as that band's genre. if they wanted to maul a bizarre song, it's not like abba is short of extremely niche specific songs they could have used. they could have used king kong song, and really they should have.

i did have the thought of dance (while the music still goes on) as a duet between donna and either harry or bill. this gets lumped into the i-could-have-done-it-better category of ideas alongside and the entire previous paragraph. alongside why did it have to be me getting some lyrics from happy hawaii thrown in the mix. they'd have fit so so well and it would be such a niche joke.

i'm also annoyed that one of the best vocal performances in the entire movie is helen sjöholm in the background singing hasta mañana. you don't see her, you have to be looking specifically to see her in the credits - like i was, having gone "oh holy shit i know this voice but it isn't agnetha or anni-frid who the fuck is it" and then losing my everloving mind. we don't have that as a recording. but we have a full length version of kisses of fire. which, to be fair, gives young rosie and tanya a bit more singing time because they got screwed in the movie. but i'm still annoyed.

also, they never told us whether or not sophie and sky got married despite it being the plot of the first one (though this may have been intentional).

also, donnie is not a great name and not a great tribute to donna, and it just makes me think of the adopted brother in the wild thornberrys, which isn't a good connection.

to conclude, it's 3am and i need to sleep and i've undoubtedly forgotten something else that massively annoyed me. there were things in it that i liked, but they aren't relevant, so they're not mentioned. but i'm going to leave it at that. apologies for any weird phrasings or repetitiveness, i'm not proofreading this, i barely even structured it.

[u-flower-u-feast]

♡TAG CHAIN♡

i was tagged by @harry-did-that  who constantly challenges me with the toughest questions and scenarios lol!!! Thanks honey!!💖💖💖💖 

im tagging @harryzayn​, @heliosfleur​, @haesthete​, @luvinari​, @anotherblackharrie​, and anyone else who wants to (i just finished this and im exhausted and can’t think of anyone else lol!!)

Rules: answer the questions given to you by the tagger, write questions of your own, and tag people!

🌸The questions I was given🌸

1. when and how did you become a fan? give me all the details and feelings hit me with that nostalgia! Tbh I was one of those snooty hoes who hated wmyb and was like “If they’re saying what makes you beautiful is that you don’t know your beautiful....... Then what happens when you finally think you’re beautiful??? They probably wouldn’t think your beautiful anymore” laskjdlkajslkdja!! But after faking like I hated the song, this girl in my science class came up to me and was like *Slams down some random teen mag with the boys on the cover* “Pick one!!”......... And I was like “Uhhhhh..... No thanks??” and she just kept getting on my nerves about picking one, she eventually said if i picked one that she’d leave. So I looked............. and I said *pointing to harry and zayn* “Either him or him” and she had the nerve to be like “No!!! You cant have him (Zayn) he’s mine!”........ me:

and since that moment of childish, superficial, decision-making........ I’ve been a dead hoe 4 harry.

2. whats ur fave 1d moment/memory? I’m blanking all of a sudden alksjdlakjslkdj!!! All I can think of rn is when harry almost died on 1d day tryna pull that cute ass stunt

Pretty much..... 1d day in general laksjdlkajls!!!

(Me too harry lol) Harry looked so divine??? So yeah lol!! 1d day for sure

3. if you were to fight harry how would you go about it

Sis........... I’ve been dreaming about this. In a perfect scenario, we’d be friends already so he knows that i’m fighting him with love from the deepest, darkest, coldest, crevices of my heart. So, it’d have to be a time when we’re just hanging out somewhere, preferably in someones (preferably mine) apartment/house. We’d be watching queer eye or something gay, and discussing what from this seasons gucci line we’re gonna buy. When all of a sudden i’ll go in for a random, friendly hug, and he’ll accept...............................................................To his DEMISE!!! CAUSE I would bite his ear (not off, just to clarify lol!! Just a nip lol!!) and go straight for his neck and choke him out alskdjlksjldjka!! He’d probably start panicking, but at this point i’d tell him how long i’ve been waiting to do this, and that i’m doing this out of love............ nothing but pure love. So when he blacks out and wakes up laid out on the couch, with me placing a cold ice pack on his head, he’ll probably ask me what tf happened....... So i’ll tell him the truth, and tell him that he fainted and started convulsing and that i had to call 911 (or whatever the emergency # is wherever we are) and they told me what to do over the phone; and that by the time they got there he had settled down and was fine, but i needed to apply a cold press to his head where he fell and make sure he has solid food on his stomach.😇😇😇

4. so like, if we had 1d (ot4/ot5 idc) locked in a room and given them truth serum slkdnlksdnf sorry for this au but, what 3 questions would you ask them (feel free to do more than 3 its been almost 8 years full of lies so)

I’ll give you one for each year of lies aksljdlakjslkd!!

1- What the fuck were Zayn and Harry laughing about on 1d day?

2- What is each of their honest opinions on the others??

3- Crystabel Riley....... Thats all I’ll say on that..... But I want the truth lol!!

4- Why tf Zayn had the nerve to say that he and Harry never talked???

5- The Infinity video????

6- If they hadn’t known Zayn was gonna leave, who would they truly want to leave the band????? Or! If they could sacrifice one of the others for Zayn to stay, who would they sacrifice??????

7- Did Liam really think that Japan would be hotter cause its “near Australia”??????? (a waste of a question, but a question i need to ask for myself lol!!)

8- And because i’m nosy and would never ever ask any other time or under other circumstances; Out of all of the people they’ve been rumored to have been dating/dated, how many have they actually dated? and which ones??*Mainly this is for harry, but i’ll ask the others cause...... you know.....

5. tell me some of your fave people on here (treat ppl with kindness spread love n all that look at me being a proper Harrie™)

I have a couple of faves lol! I love @harryzayn she’s amaaaazingggggggg even tho she tries me on a daily basis alskjdlkajsldkj!! Oh!! And her moodboards (x) are spectacular, she’s legit the reason why I started doing moodboards (barely lol!! I’m lazy y’all, but she's not lol!!)

@haesthete She always has amazing hontent and is very sweet and kindddddd lol!! And is always (in my opinion) on the right side of henny serious harry drama

@luvinari is an absolute angel who blesses my dash with harry and ariana and others i can think of rn lol!! 

@bluehydrangeia She fills my dash with my mother lana del rey, harry, and aesthetic!! That and I never fail to get more literature knowledge from her lol!

Theres a lot more, but when I’m put on the spot i blank out lol!! If we’ve EVER talked, or interacted you’re probably on this list too lol!!

6. signature scent/ favorite perfume(s)?

I don’t really have a signature perfume, but I like to mix cherry and vanilla body sprays lol!! That! Or warm vanilla honey/toasted hazelnut from b&bw  

7. please tell me a random fact or story about you, give me that Exclusive knowledge

Ummmmm....... My *tries to remember while sitting down* right side of my hip is double jointed lol!! That and i entered 2 different kinds of writing contest and won both of them lol!! Ya gurl is actually good at writing believe it or not alskjdlakjs!!! Bonus! I’ve actually gotten too deep in my feels a couple times and wrote fics for @harryzayn to read lmaooo!!!

8. money, body issues, and all that shit aside, what would your dream fashion aesthetic be?

..........Rianne you hate me lol!! I have about 50 aslkdjalskjdl!! So I’ll give you a top 5!

1- Rocker Chic

2- Simplistic Minimalist

3- 70s Kween

4- Eclectic Bitch

5- Rich Business Hoe

(Bonus!)6- Flashy young rich trophy wife having a night out

9. would you rather have: the cut bits of carpool karaoke like the mcdonalds drive through, audio’s of all the 70 songs harry wrote (yes including baby honey), the infinity music video, the 900 hours of unseen this is us footage, harry’s dunkirk audition tape, a recording of that alleged hour long zarry phonecall when zayn left, or a copy of nialls folder full of unseen selfies with his boys. you kno what im nice you can have two

You are so fucking rude rianne alskjdlkajsjdalj!! I’m gonna go with...... All 70 of harry’s hidden ass songs. And............. *has mini existential crisis cause i can’t choose between the zarry phone call or the this is us footage* I’m gonna choose the this is us footage cause that would be a lot more positive *whispers: but if you want to be a super nice, cool, amazing, totally unique, game changing, never replicated friend........ You’d let me take the zarry call too lol!! *

10. whats something you’re proud of?

*Thinks hard for about 20 minutes.....* Umm I think im proud of the fact that, any musical instrument i’ve learned (3-4) i’ve taught myself??

11. something you regret?

Being too nice to people who didn’t deserve that from me.

12. what bothers you? here’s a chance to… go off

People who have literally no musical talent, but feel the need to go on mile long rants about musicians/artist they don’t like and try to simplify any musical or artistic process like making (GOOD) music is simple and easy.

On the other hand, musicians with absolutely no musicianship at all, who get by based on looks or a really weirdly strong fan base despite....their....lack........of talent??? (Bonus trash points if they’re also just really shitty people in general)

People who feel the need to bring up negative shit in the middle of anything happy. Like??? We could all be having a party over harry painting his nails black, and they could be like “Why tf is his nail polish chipped already??? He was probably picking at it cause the devil jeff made him do it” Like????? Shut tf up cindy (Also this is a made up scenario lol!!)

...... Pms?? The thought of having to pay bills?? Taxes??? The government???? The patriarchy??????

💖💕✨🌻 so here’s my questions🌻✨💕💖

1. There are two types of people in this world. What are the two types?

2. If you had to lock away 3 of ot5 in an underground cave, who would you lock away??

3. If you could have a never-ending candle that smelled like anything you wanted, what fragrance would you want it to be?

4. An interesting au question i just though of lol! You’re chilling at home, when all of a sudden you get a call from Harry. You answer it only to find out that he has you on a party line with the other boys. They’re all panicking cause they’re having different emergencies and they all need your singular help, but they’re all in different locations 20 minutes away from you. They’re all convinced you’re their best friend and that you’ll help them first. You can only help 3 and the other two have to figure their problem out on their own, or face the consequences. Who do you help first, and so on? (and yes the bottom 3 will be mad at you. The person in 2nd place will be disappointed but they’ll eventually get over it.)

5. Whats your favorite *insert ur fave 1d member here* look?

6. What would be the scariest monster you could imagine?

8. If your life was a book, what would it be titled?

6. Quick! You just won the lottery, what are the first 3 things you buy?

9. Would you rather have: True love, but live in less than ideal conditions. Or Be rich, but be married to someone you despised?

10. Whats something you’re proud of?

11. Three personality traits you hate?

12. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

[embershx]

Tagged by @epselion

Because tag memes are an addiction for them XD

1. Post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. And tag 11 people

1. If you could only eat one more thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

How broad are we being? Because a part of me is flat-out ready to say ‘Food’ XD Probably pizza? It covers quite a variety of potential meals without being as broad-to-the-point-of-cheating as, like, pasta or something. 

2. You can change one thing about the world/universe, what is it you would add or remove?

Oooooh, this is tough. A big part of me wants to add magic. Like, give everyone magic powers - everyone gets a power. I dunno what but they’ll get one... But honesty, as much as I’d love magic... I’m probably gonna remove the concept of unkindness/cruelty or something like that. There’s so much about humanity I hate man. Racism, sexism, assholes, incels...

3. Is there a song you have a deep association with?

Lots of Icon For Hire songs really resonate with me. Particuarly ‘The Grey’ at the moment. It’s about knowing that what you’re doing isn’t good for you but being held back from changing by fear. Under all your excuses of not knowing how really you’re stopping yourself.  In a similar vein there’s their song ‘Iodine’ which is a similar theme specifically about mental health and how it becomes so much a part of your identity that you don’t know how to let go. Also ‘Fight’, which seems to counter these and say ‘I can do this, and I will.)

4. If you had to use a Shakespearian quote to describe yourself, what would it be? Catch me googling Shakespeare quotes XD As an honerable mention I want to point out that  ‘Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.’ is not a serious quote. It’s a dick joke. He’s talking about his penis. And thrusting it upon people. XD Please noone ever use this quote to describe yourself. XD (Unless you’re defined by dick thrusting or the reception thereof) ‘Lord what fools these mortals be’ is relatable AF but not quite the question. "Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting." is something I need to take on board more  I’d probably go with "Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win, By fearing to attempt."

5. If you could take a trip to an imaginary destination from any book you read, where would you be going?

Honestly, if I’m going for a trip probably Narnia? I love forests that I can wander through. The problem I always face with questions like this is ‘What is my status there?’ Like Hogwarts? Great, you’re a muggle, have fun in the run down castle. (I will,, ruins are my jam, but that’s beside the point). Westeros? You’re a peasant, good luck. So as I am? It’s gotta be some place pretty with not a lot of city-scape.

6. Do you have any weird food combo that is ungodly but so good?

Honest to go this sounds gross but is so good. Chicken Korma sauce and chicken, on Chow Mein noodles, wrapped in one of those rice-pancakes for duck.  Oriental all-you-can-eat buffets are great for it XD

7. If you could learn one artisan skill, what would it be?

I’m not sure I’m using this phrase right but I looked it up and from what I saw I’d say making clothes. I think it’d be nice to just be able to put together what I want to wear instead of going shop-to-shop and finding something close enough but not quite right and settling for it. 

8. What is the ultimate forbidden snack?

Tide pods

9. Which D&D race would you probably be if you were a player character, and what alignment?

I’m assuming this is if I could choose. I’d probably go for an elf of some sort (probably a healer, not that you asked) and Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral depending on how we’re defining it. Based on standard morals Neutral, based on for-others/equal/for-yourself Good, because I’ll do shitty things for the benefit of people, 

10. What animal/creature would be your witch familiar?

I’m gonna be hella vanilla here and say a cat, though anything large enough to pet and hug is a yes from me. Even if it’s generally not huggable, like a crocodile or smth. It’s my familiar and I’m gon’ hug it. 

11. Do you look up to someone, either a character or a real person, and why?

I look up to a lot of people actually; My mum is the main one, she tries so hard to put the family before herself. (Not other people so much, but she was certainly my rolemodel growing up. And she’s still the standard I hold for what a parent SHOULD be and not many measure up.  Ummm... My friend Hawke is another one; They’s so on-point with social justice stuff and they always have the patience to deal with my ignorant ass and my constant ‘but why’s XD I aspire to that level of understanding, both knowledge-wise and compassion-wise. 

Ok, my questions are 1. What supernatural race/species/etc. would you like to be and why 2. Favorite book series and why 3. Favorite TV show and why 4. Top Pokémon, nickname (if you’d use them), why you like them, and contest or battle  5. Starwars Prequal Trilogy, Original Trilogy, or Sequal Trilogy? (If you don’t watch/care tell me about a hot celeb/character you’d like to rescue you waving a magic glowing sword. With full details.) 6. Harry Potter house and why 7. Best and worst trait 8. You got black out drunk at the party. When you wake up your friend tells you that you   a. Pet like 10 dogs and cried because they were so fluffy  b. Got into like 3 fights. 4 if you include the one with yourself  c. Threw up on someone  d. All of the above  e. All of the above, and kept partying 9. In a dream world, your ideal job would be 10. 3 wishes. (You can’t wish for world peace or any global goals. Personal wishes(can wish for friends/family)) 11. You can have the powers of ONE super hero/villian. Who and why I’m gonna taaaaag @themightyblim @theonlyrufus @oswobblepot @childofvanaheim @justaseasaltyselkie   ... I think that’s all my friends XD

[blackjacketmuses]

RULES / answer the questions you’ve been given, then write your own and tag 11 people.

001.  what’s your zodiac sign? do you think it suits your personality?

Scorpio, technically. And yeah, no, I am not a Scorpio at ALL personality wise. Like I always check Cancer for everything zodiac related because my mom is a Cancer, and because like that is 100% me. I should have been a Cancer, universe, the fuck even is your deal?

002.  if you could watch only one tv show or one movie for the rest of your life, what would you pick? 

That’s rude, I don’t know??? Does anime count? If so, then Yu Yu Hakusho, fight me :|

003. what’s an animal that you associate with your muse?

Well, since I’m hardcore into XV at the moment, gonna use my boys for this. Ardyn gets birds, crows and birds of prey specifically (though also big colorful ones). Noctis is cats. Black cats. Lazy black cats. Ravus is probably white wolves, and Nyx is kind of canonically associated with coeurls but also he’s probably a wolf of his own, tbh.

004. does your muse understand memes? if they do, what’s their favorite meme?

Ravus just noped out so. The other boys do, and Nyx is a fan of sending random pictures of shit to people and going “IS THIS AN __?” or whatever the equivalent of RickRolling is. Noctis likes memes but isn’t one to use them, mostly. Though I think he has a soft spot for “Hi I’m Noctis (and Prompto) and welcome to Jackass //does something stupid”.

Ardyn is a walking meme there is no question about this, just go with it. Garbageboy Stinkman.

005. is there something your muse is a fan of? (e.g. a show, a book series, whatever) 

Noctis is a huge nerdlord over this one popular book series (think Harry Potter level) called The Adventures of King Rex, he loves it, he owns tons of merch, it’s mega nerdy help him. Nyx has a soft spot for shitty old cartoons in general. Ardyn is ridiculous and would probably watch Eos!Food Network or Eos!Animal Planet all day if he could, especially whatever the equivalent to Steve Irwin is. Ravus...Ravus loves to read just about anything, but he’s a secret lover of cheesy fantasy novels about knights in shining armor (because he wants to be one shut up).

006. is your muse good at video games? if they aren’t, are they a sore loser?

Noctis: so-so, not a sore loser. Nyx: terrible, cackles madly as he fucks up. Ravus: no, probably a sore loser and just gives up. Ardyn: actually pretty good, but sometimes is bad on purpose for the lols.

007. do you have a Type of character you tend to pick up as a muse?

Sad tired old trash dads? Obnoxious jackasses with hearts of gold? Sympathetic/tragic antagonists? Snarky assholes with hearts of gold? LMAO.

008. is there a particular fictional character you really relate to? if so, feel free to explain why!

Honestly it’s funny because Noctis. He and I have so much in common in simple personality traits and likes/dislikes it’s terrifying. Tired depressed and horribly anxious 20-something who likes to sleep and play on his phone (esp bc social anxiety) and loves cats and absolutely loathes vegetables? Socially awkward with strangers but a goof with his friends? Loves his friends deeply and would kill a man for them, but lowkey about it? Very emotional in times of stress?

Yep, I relate to this boy very much.

009. do you prefer funny headcanons or sad headcanons? 

Listen my nickname has been The Angst for like 5 years now for a reason. But no, I...tend not to enjoy funny/crack/silly stuff as a general rule? Some silliness is perfectly okay because I can’t be tragic all the time, but I don’t really let it creep into too much. I love my sad shit tho.

010. which genre do you like more: science fiction or horror? 

I like both, but I like horror more! I can’t actively engage with like haunted houses or play scary games myself, but I love reading and watching other people play horror shit!

011.  if you could borrow one of your muse’s talents or skills, what would you pick? 

Can I be as athletic as them for a little bit maybe? Just a little? If not then can I be able to do magic pls.

TAGGED BY: @oculare TAGGING: Naahhhhhhhh, I’m too lazy to come up with new questions even.