#I used to do a different colour every month or two. maybe even two in a month

[buyingaradspaceship]

idk what to do with my hair

[bluetimeombre]

: ̗̀➛ Call it what you want to

You're an up-coming star, staring in some hit movies like Hunger games Ballad of songbirds and snakes and now Wonka, along the Timothee Chalamet.

[i'm obsessed with my man and just need to ignore the fact he's dating someone that isn't me. anyway, you're an up-coming actress who stared in the new hunger games movie and now you're also staring in wonka, the people love you and maybe, so does a co-star of yours] not proof read. this was very fun to write so maybe i'll do more, if anyone likes it. or just for me

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

liked by... tayrussell, joshandresrivera, tomblyth, sadiesink_, tchalamet & others

yourusername: wonka press tour starts now!

809k likes. 304k comments

user: wait, you're in wonka?!

user: I LOVE YOU!!

user: mother giving us content, as always

tchalamet: now you've posted can you come up and help me

yourusername: no

tchalamet: pls!!!

user: omg she really said no to timothee chalamet, who does she thin she is?

user: slayyyy

user: isn't wonka supposed to suck

tomblyth: from one press tour to another, i see

yourusername: girls got to earn a living

tomblyth: she doesn't let the grass grow

user: say hi to timothee for me!!!!

user: omg how is she getting all the hottest guys in hollywood rn? gurl leave some for us

wonkamovie: 😍😍

balladofsongbirdsandsnakes: 😍😍😍

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you were flicking through comments by your friends when your phone started to ring, the familiar picture of your co-star flicking up on your phone. quickly, you dimissed yourself from your assistant and took the call. 'yes?'

'I need your help.'

'Timothee, you're old enough to zip up your own jacket,' you tease, leaning on the wall.

'I don't know what jumper to wear, what are you wearing? we'll coordinate.'

you'd opted for something of your own style. a jumper with pinks and blues and a white flowering skirt with a ring almost on every finger. this was only your second big press tour and sitting next to timothee chalamet every day for it was enough to make you nervous. so nervous you woke every morning wondering if you'd throw up. it didn't help you were also surrounded by others you'd looked up to, like olivia coleman and hugh grant. how were you supposed to keep your cool for months. even if now you were considered just as big a star.

'don't you have a stylist for this?' you ask, looking at the crew around, ready to go but waiting for him.

'there's three options and i don't know which one to go for. can't you just come up.'

you could, sure. go to timothee's hotel room and see him probably shirtless. once you'd have dreamt of it, but things were different, now you just didn't have a silly celebrity crush. now he was your co-star and very off limits.

'option two now come on, please.' quickly, you end the call and pick up your coffee, heading to the room where you'd be sat for the next eight hours answering questions with timothee.

you were there first, shaking hands with the interviewer and introducing yourself to her. you took your seat, making little chatter before timothee chalamet walked in, calm, cool and collected. completely different to your flushed and smiling expression.

you watched as he quickly said hello to everyone in the room and greeted the lady who'd be conducting the interview.

timothee turned to you, arms out wide and waiting. laughing, you put your coffee down and stood up, giving him a hug. you shared small pleasantries before he took his seat next to you, shuffling around and settling in. only then did you realise how much your jumpers looked the same, both smudges of similar colours. you blushed more as timothee watched, silently wondering what could make you so red. as if he had no idea what he did to you just by sitting down next to him.

'I have had scrub scrub stuck in my head since seeing the movie,' she- charline, said as you and timothee laugh. 'do you guys have a favourite song you got to perform?'

'I mean, pure imagination was quite a surreal experience. you know, getting to sing something that was so ... iconic, it was-it was a lot of fun. and a lot of pressure, but, in a good way,' said timothee.

'you killed it,' you assure, casually.

'thank you,' he smiled.

'i really enjoyed you've never had chocolate like this number. that was just so fun, the dancing and all,' you say, timothee nodding and agreeing.

'for a moment was fun to, i guess,' added timothee. 'we got to dance.'

you grin at the memory. 'we did.' you remembered the a million takes, timothee singing practically to you while prancing around. it was your favourite scene to shoot because it was such an easy and happy scene. you didn't have to think about it, just held timmy's hand as he twirled you around the place.

'and i know we're here to talk about wonka but i just have to say-' she gestured to you, 'congratulations on hunger games, biggest movie in the world.'

you wave her off, thanking her as timmy claps for you. 'thank you, thank you.'

'i was wondering what was your favourite song to film there on that set and how does it compare to singing on this one.'

ranting about yourself or your achievements was always hard for you. your stardom and come so quickly with hunger games and wonka, so much so you felt like you didn't deserve half of it.

'i mean, for hunger games it was all live. i sang them there and then so that's daunting in itself, um. i loved filming pure as the driven snow, just because i got to- essentially- sing it to tom. it was just him and me and the crew, like for those shots there was no extra's so that was great fun. a special moment. and singing it to him made it a whole lot easier. whereas on this movie, luckily it was all like pre-recorded so, not so daunting. didn't have to sing in front of timothee chalamet,' you say.

he listened carefully to you, seeing your smile at mentioning tom blyth, your co-star from the hunger games. he'd never met the guy, he was probably lovely- from the amount you talked about him. 'you've got a great singing voice.'

'thanks man.'

'this cast is just so insane and obviously you two got close during filming,' says charline, gesturing to the two of you.

timothee nudged you with his head, like he'd done a thousand times before knowing how much you secretly loved it. just like a horse, as had been quoted.

'who's more british, olivia or hugh?'

'hugh, easily,' you say. you loved all of hugh's movies, but you'd never say that to his face.

'you know, i'm gonna go and say you,' says timothee, turning to you.

you drop you jaw, pointing to yourself. yes, you were british, but more so than than the hugh grant seemed impossible. 'me?'

'yea, i mean, hugh grant is like a walking union jack- and i mean that in the best way possible, but you seem so much more like british. you know, wicked sense of humor and the charm and- you love london,' he pointed out.

'i do love london,' you agreed.

'did you have fun filming in england, timothee?' she asked.

they want on and on to talk about filming the movie, answering questions in depth and it was sure the two of you had great answers, listening intently together and everyone could tell. your chemistry was there, your smiles and answers together were almost so perfect it was like it was practiced and the fans ate it up!

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liked by... zendaya, mtv, kyliejenner, yourusername, wbpictures & others

tchamalmet: WONKA!!! coming soon

tagged: yourusername

1.1m likes, 609k comments

user: he posted! he posted!

user: we are getting FED

user: i just know this is all yourusername influence

user: not kylie liking...

user: statistics! statistics!

liked by yourusername

yourusername: bring back little timmy tim!

yourusername: out of all the pictures you chose that one

user: anyone else think her and timmy are getting too close

user: like fr she stealin my man

user: i love them!!!

user: i swear something is going on with her and tom blyth

user: she's just like us!

user: LOVE!!!!!

user: her and timmy >>> him and kylie

user: plssss, i love kylie

user: is wonka a musical

user: TIMMY I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN!!!

user: fave bob dylan song?

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liked by... tomblyth, rachelzeglar, tchalamet, hunterschafer, zendaya & others

yourusername: ballad of song birds and snakes is number one movie? more like i'm the number one most grateful person out there for this chance and being trusted with my girl lucy-grey!!! thank you, thank you, thank you!!

tagged: tomblyth

1m likes 477k comments

tomblyth: lots of love my dear !

user: pls the second picture was so unncesary she just wanted to post it

user: MOTHER

user: parents are parenting

user: I LOVED THIS FILM

user: tom blyth is honestly so hot like wtf

rachelzeglar: my luv <3

yourusername: omg my gf everybody!!!!

joshandresrivera: funny how you don't post a picture of me

yourusername: it's funny because i don't like you

joshandresrivera: tomblyth you gonna let her talk to me like that??

tomblyth: she's the boss

user: how is she so amazing in everything

user: wonder how she got this job? she's literally as plain as a plank

user: hi!

user: the film was insane, i'm obsessed

user: i need this film injected into my veins

user: she's so good at singing, get her on broadway!!!

tchalamet: very proud

yourusername liked tchalamet's comment

user: why would you post the second pic unless they're clearly dating

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user: pls why do i ship them so hard!!

user: lol it looks like he's just refusing to answer questions without her

user: is nobody gonna talk about how they were basically wearing the same jumpers?

user: no because i thought the exact same thing

user: someone pointed it out in an interview and timothee said it was 100% planned, they're so cute

user: doesn't he have a girlfriend?

user: isn't she with tom blyth? they look like they're together?

user: they haven't confirmed it

user: they don't need to did you see her post on instagram?! it was all just him

user: no but the way she's just constantly blushing around him

user: so would you if you were sat next to the timothee chalamet

[kurokawaia]

❛ I MISSED YOU !! ❜

Uchiha Sasuke 彡 Fem!Reader

MDNI 18+ | WARNINGS :: Post war sasuke, the last! sasuke (so like 20 y/o), sasuke x fem reader, reader is a female, afab, fem anatomy, she/her, reader is said to be a medic nin and likes the colour pink, ooc sasuke?? soft but mean sasuke at the same time?, NSFW, oral -> male receiving, implied size difference/kink (reader is a ways smaller than him), throat fucking? implied cock warming, cum swallowing, use of 'good girl', mean? praise, possession + more . (total word count 2.6k+)

⋆·˚ ༘ * SYNOPSIS :: Sasuke has been away for a mission, or more so, trying to rekindle and make up his mistakes by travelling around and looking out for any sign of Otsutsuki. It's been so long since he's been home, his home is you, he can't stand being away from you any longer, so, he asks you something you didn't even expect.

m.list | naruto m.list | uchiha m.list

Thinking about Sasuke coming home from a long mission, two months you think he's been away for, maybe even longer. However, in reality he was only gone for three weeks but you like to over exaggerate sometimes... what else could you say though, you need Sasuke so much in your life.

Your shared house is so empty without him, you can't wait until he comes home. It was the daily tasks that are difficult without Sasuke near you, falling asleep (you don't have anyone to snuggle up agaisnt when he's gone), making breakfast + lunch + dinner for only yourself knowing that Sasuke loves your food causes your heart to ache because you wonder if he's feeding himself alright food.

You don't even want to start on how alone you feel in the house knowing you can smell Sasuke's soft cologne on his cloths the moment you open the wardrobe. His toothbrush, his shampoo and conditioner, his plain white towels set up on the rack in the bathroom (you use pink towels).

All this stuff making you realise how much you love him, not even work can take your mind of him and healing patients is quite a tasking job to focus on, yet he fills your mind completely. When Sasuke does come home, you hear the door click open and your head perks up instantly from wherever you are in the house, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen etc.

If Sasuke could see you right there and then, the moment you hear the click at the door, he would definitely picture you being like a puppy, all excited to see their favourite person. Honestly, as much as he doesn't want to tell you, he thinks that it's cute, how much you love him being around and getting all excited when he comes home.

You come to him so fast he almost stumbles back into the door as your arms wrap tightly around his neck and shoulder. He gets an instant hit of your vanilla perfume, your strawberry shampoo and conditioner. The smell of home. Sasuke wraps an arm around your waist, leaning down to make you more comfortable even though you are still on the tips of your toes.

As your head buries into his neck, a sigh of content leaves your plump lips, relishing in how his strong arm wraps around you and how the smell of mint completely engulfs your senses. "I missed you so much, Sasuke," you say softly, although, your voice is mumbled due to clinging to you man so tightly.

His arm moves higher up your back and he savours every single inch of warm radiating from your body before his hand cradles the back of your head. "I know," he murmurs gently into you ear. "I missed you more," before placing a soft kiss to the side of your head.

"How long... will you be home for? Before you're off again," you ask slowly, hesitantly. You don't even want to know his answer, because it's just doing to make your heart ache again, but that's what happens when you love someone.

Sasuke lets out a sigh which is so quiet you almost missed it and then you knew what his reply was going to be. "A couple days, my love," he confirms and your grip tightens around him before you steadily unravel your arms from him.

As you now stand before him, a soft sheen of tears in your eyes, Sasuke's hand plants itself on your waist, pulling you closer into him once more. Your head meets his chest as your fingers grip his coat, the black material scrunching underneath. His chin sits on the top of your head.

Neither of you knew how long you were there for, just standing at the front of the door, holding each other. Sasuke's heart aches at the sight of you. He's finding that it's getting harder and harder for him to leave you as the time goes by, he doesn't know how much longer he can stand to be away from you.

Sasuke gently lifts your chin, his dark eyes meeting yours. His thumb brushes across your cheek, wiping away a stray tear as he leans in, his lips barely grazing yours. "You don’t know how much I think about you when I’m away," he murmurs.

Your hands clutch his coat tighter, pulling him closer, your bodies pressing together even closer than before. His lips capture yours in a kiss that starts gentle but deepens quickly. The way his hand slides down to the small of your back, pressing you even closer and it makes your knees weak.

You miss him. You miss him so much it hurts. You miss the way he holds you while you sleep, you miss when he cooks something that can't be eaten, how his lips feel on yours. You miss how safe you feel with him the most.

A soft, breathless moan escapes your mouth, getting swallowed by the kiss and Sasuke responds by pulling you tighter, his hand tangling in your hair. His lips trail down to your jawline, leaving a burning path to your neck, where he places slow kisses that make you tremble. You feel his warm breath against your skin as he whispers, "I don’t want to waste a single moment we have together."

You can feel your heart pounding as Sasuke's lips linger on your neck. He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Come on," he murmurs, taking your hand gently in his taking you to your shared bedroom.

You both sit on the edge of the bed. His fingers trace gentle patterns on your back, and you rest your head on his shoulder. "I’ve missed this," you whisper, your voice barely audible. "Just being here with you."

Sasuke tilts his head, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. "Me too," he replies. His hand finds yours, lacing your fingers together as he leans back slightly, bringing you with him. You settle into the familiar embrace, your head resting against his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breaths.

For a while, you both stay like that, wrapped in each other’s warmth, the world outside fading away. His hand gently brushes through your hair, and you can feel the tension from the past weeks slowly melting away.

You don't think you could survive Sasuke leaving again. You need him here with you. It doesn't matter where you are, you just need him with you.

Sasuke shifts, his lips finding yours again in a kiss. It’s unhurried, he wants to savour your touch. His hand trail down your sides, guiding you to lie back against the pillows, his weight pressing gently against you.

The kiss deepens, his touch becoming more insistent as his fingers brush against the hem of your shirt, pushing it up slightly. You shiver under his touch, your body reacting to the familiar sensation of his hands on your skin. He pulls back just enough to look at you.

"You’re all I thought about," he murmurs, his hand caressing your soft cheek.

Before Sasuke can continue, you abruptly sit up, pulling away from him. His brows knit together confused, watching you. "What’s wrong?" he asks slowly.

If he was being honest, he could almost laugh at your actions. Your hair is messy, one strap of your bra fell of your shoulder and your blinking wide eyed at him. Cute.

You don't answer right away because your heart is pounding. You aren't nervous, that's not it, you want more. Anticipation. Without a word coming from your lips, you lean forward to Sasuke and place your hands on his chest, your fingers unbuttoning his coat, letting it fall to the floor.

This is before your hands slide under his shirt, your small hands resting above his pelvis and he lets out a deep sigh at your touch, shivers running down his spine. Then, you grip the hem of the black fabric and Sasuke takes it as a sign that you want the garment off his body, revealing his abs and chest.

You about to melt. All of this, all of Sasuke, this six foot man of abs and a nice back is all yours.

Gently you push him down to the bed which catches him off guard and his eyes widen almost confused. Sasuke has never seen you be this confident when the two of you are intimate. "What are you up to?" he murmurs amused.

You lean over him, your hands resting on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palms. "I just missed you," you say softly. "And I want to make sure you know it."

Sasuke's smirk deepens, his hand coming up to rest on your waist. "I think I’m starting to get the idea," he replies, his eyes never leaving yours.

You lean down, capturing his lips in a slow kiss, pouring all the love you’ve been holding onto into the moment. Your hands slide up to tangle in his hair as you press yourself closer, relishing the feeling of his strong arm wrapping around you once more before his fingers unhook your bra clasp. Without pulling away from the kiss, you managed to get the straps off your arms, the bra now laying somewhere.

As the kiss deepens, you both lose yourselves in each other. Sasuke’s hand roam your back, pulling you closer, his lips moving with yours. Shivers run through your body as his tongue forces itself deeper into your mouth and hopeless whimpers get consumed by Sasuke as did his own groans emitting from his throat.

You move from his lips trailing slow kisses down his neck, sucking softly at the skin, knowing you will be leaving marks. It wasn't before long where you finally skimmed your mouth across his toned abs, (your favourite part) and then made way down to his abdomen. You can feel him getting restless under neath you as you place a kiss to his clothes dick, causing him to jerk under beneath you. "Don't tease me, love," he sighs breathlessly.

"Of course, Sasuke," you tease affectionately pulling down his boxers (with the help of Sasuke lifting his hips slightly for you) and his lengthy cock hits his abdomen, now, no wasting any time, you don't know how long you can hold out.

Placing a soft kiss to his tip, his head leans back into the plush pillow, a breathy moan leaving his mouth. He wanted so desperately to wrap your hair into his fingers and push your head down to his base, but he had to hold out, not yet, he repeats over and over in his head. Sasuke will let you have your fun for now.

You lick a long stripe up from the underside of his throbbing cock, trailing the sensitive vein up to his flushed tip, Sasuke's breathy groans fueling you to continue. Your panties are getting more and more soaked by the second. Plump lips move to his tip, wrapping tightly as you hollow your mouth, but Sasuke couldn't take it any longer with your slow teasing moves, he knows you want to savour him, but he can't take it.

You have him all to yourself for the next couple days, but now he just wants you.

Sasuke's fingers entangle with your strands, and you let out a breathy sigh before he pushes your mouth further down his cock, taking him inch by inch, all until his throbbing shaft is nudged all the way down your warm throat until you can't take any more. He looks down at you with his pupils blown wide as you struggle to take him all, but he knows his pretty girl can do it, you're made for him.

A groan leaves his mouth, hips slightly twitching up, forcing more down into your mouth causing you to gag softly. Sasuke letsb his hand leave your hair to affectionetly rub small circles on your cheek with his thumb. "You can take it, love," Sasuke says before groaning, head tilted back. "Come on, you can do it for me."

You hum, agreeing, and the vibrations cause a hiss to leave the uchiha's mouth. You wrap one hand around the base of shaft as you begin to bob your head along his cock.

You were trying to take him as deep as you could without gagging on his cock, using your hand to jerk off the reminder that didn't fit into your mouth. Sasuke moans grew louder before he struggled to maintain a still stature. Sasuke began to move your head through the tuffs of your hair, your movements not your own as you removed your hand and let him take control.

He moans, "That's it, doing such a good job for me. Such a good girl, taking me so well. Your panties just became more soaked than they already were as you moaned helplessly on his cock at the praise and a breathy laugh left his throat, and it made your lower abdomen tingle. 

Tears well up in your soft doe eyes, before they fall down your flushed pink cheeks. Your cunt was soaking wetter by the moment, and the moans coming out of his mouth made it even more unbearable. You just wanted him to have his way with you, that's all you want, to have his touch, his body pressed against yours as he fucks you deeper and deeper in your cunt and the bed.

Sasuke started moving more quickly, which made you start crying even more. When you hollowed out your cheeks, he let out a stifled sigh that made him hesitate to approach further. It wasn't too long before his hips rut up into your mouth, a groan exiting his lips, his eyes briefly turning that familiar red as his cum fills your mouth.

You pull away, his cock going soft but still was hard. "You can spit-" Too late you've already swallowed it. "- you didn't have to do that," Sasuke sighs, still relishing in the pleasure of his high.

You let out a deep sigh, still tasting the tinge of musk and salt on your tongue and mouth. "It's okay, love," you murmur teasingly, moving up quicky and whispering into his ear. "I know all the dirty things you like."

A soft chuckle leaves his mouth and your heart flutters. "That's why your such a good girl for me," he replies, hand slithering down to your rear and you let out a playful gasp. "Sasuke!" you puff out, feigning shock before a comfortable silence washes over the two of you.

Sasuke leans up to give you a kiss and you smush his cheek with your palm and push him away with a pout on you lips. "Yuck, no. Kiss me after I brush my teeth," you say, looking a way from him and you feel him smile against your palm.

"Come with me," Sasuke says suddenly and you feel his hand over your own. You turn back to look at him and find that his black iris is already gazing deeply into you, you could see a peak of his Rinnegan behind his fringe.

You tilt your head confused. "To the store? I think they would be closed, but we can go check-!"

You cut yourself off and you think you finally realised what Sasuke was getting at. "When I leave again, I need you to come with me," Sasuke confirms and your eyes widen in surprise and shock, no way this is happening.

"Really?" you say slowly in disbelief, not believing him and he nods, nudging his lips against your palm, planting a kiss to your skin.

"Please," he says barely audible against your palm and your eyes light up, arms wrapping around his shoulders and he falls back in his back to the bed with a winded grunt.

His arm wraps tightly around you. "I love you," you tell him. "I love you more," Sasuke replies, not wanting to leave you behind ever again, at least not now. His home needs to be with him wherever he goes, home is wherever you are.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | naruto m.list | uchiha m.list

im sorry this is probably ooc but i firmly belief in mushy the last! sasuke i jst think he'd be rlly sweet but short with you ^.^

if you say the sneak peak this was only supposed to be 1K words but then i added 1.5k more 😭

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

HI SWEETIE I HAVE A REQUEST!! i hope you dont mind!

so, bucky and f!reader, maybe married and they have a baby together. after that time of recovery reader is a bit shy of her own body cause it's been a while since they did it and she isnt back at her pre-pregnancy weight and bucky is absolutely like mind blown by her beauty? like, nearly drooling? and please can you add body worship on this?

i seriously hope it's okay for you, but if it's not please ignore this!

HII BBY!! I love love love it. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

DEFLECTION.

​bucky barnes x fem!reader (married & parents) — comfort

word count. 1031

disclaimer. the hair colour and type has no significance to the writing. the gif just suits the theme of this fic. also please read the ask carefully

Only a few short months ago, you gave birth to a healthy baby girl - a daughter you shared with your husband, Bucky. Very quickly she became the sole focus of your attention, neither of you having much time to do anything like you used to. 

Consequently, your sex life had taken a hit, and not because of the significant decrease in quality time, but instead something far more complex.

So far, motherhood has been a slight struggle to adjust to - the differences in your life between then and now are almost stark. You've been trying to adapt to all the changes that come with it, the main being your new body. You've been feeling shy and insecure with your new shape, often feeling like the weight will never drop off to what you looked like before.

It was hard to digest the change.

You were in the bathroom to freshen up, your eyes looking back at you in the mirror almost pitifully - your gaze travelling down, honing in on your stomach through your once baggy tee.

"They're here," Bucky calls from the other room, his voice putting a hold on the thoughts in your mind.

You step out of the bathroom, meeting your husband and daughter by the front door, a pink baby bag slung over his shoulder.

He notices the downcast direction of your eyes, seeing the way you tried to pull away from his attention. "Everything okay?" he asks you, rocking his little girl in his arms, bouncing her when she makes a noise.

You hum, walking closer to say goodbye to your baby - running a finger over her soft cheek. 

He doesn't believe you, though he waits for it to be just the two of you before he can question it. He doesn't want to create a situation before your parents arrive to pick up your daughter. They offered to have her for a few hours to give you both some respite.

The second the door closes, and it's just the two of you again, he turns to look at you - his brows curled up inquisitively.

"Now, what's really going on?" he asks, referring to all those times you shut yourself off from him - primarily that one a few minutes ago.

You turn away, heading to the kitchen to get a drink. "Going on with what?" you deflect, trying to avoid the topic.

He follows you, standing behind you at the sink - his arms wrapping around your middle, chin resting over your shoulder. 

But he's too close to where you don't want him, so you flinch at his touch, moving his hands away from your tummy and stretching the hem of your top - pulling on the fabric.

Bucky rips his hands from you, your avoidance of his touch making things whirl in his mind. "You don't like that anymore?" he asks, stepping aside to face the side of you.

"I do... just— just not right now," you reply, taking a quick sip of water before moving across the kitchen - heading towards the fridge. "Tired, feel gross," you shrug, trying to ease the tension you accidentally created. 

"That's not it," he softly shakes his head, eyes focused on you even though every glance goes unreciprocated. "It's something else."

"Just need a nap and shower," you partially lie, pulling out two apples, handing him one.

He doesn't accept your attempt at deflection, instead turning it down. "No, it's something else," he continues, his eyes glued to the side of your face. "And you're afraid of saying it."

"I'm not," you softly protest, voice quiet.

"So it is something else," he mutters, the unknown confession of you making things easier for him, harder for you.

You're cornered. You sigh and nod faintly, closing the door of the fridge. 

"What is it? Please talk to me," he reaches for your hand, fingers wrapping themselves around yours. "It's just the two of us, no distractions... what's been going on?"

"It's hard to get used to," you start, pausing to think of what to say next.

"What is? Being a mom?" he asks, noticing your focused gaze on the baby stuff on the counter. 

You nod, pausing once more. "Not just that," you exhale, shrugging. "Everything's changed."

"With us?" he asks, hand tightening in yours. 

"With me," you correct, looking down at your hand in his. "I've changed, and I'm not used to it... I don't like it."

"How have you changed?" he questions, trying to prompt more answers from you. 

"My body has," you softly reply, trying not to squirm at your confession. "My boobs, tummy, my hair. The weight is taking longer to come off than I thought, and I feel— I feel like a..." you go quiet, not wanting to finish your sentence.

However, Bucky's not done coaxing words from you. His face softens when you finally meet his gaze, his features inviting and knowing. "Feel like a what?" he whispers.

"I don't know," you shrug again.

"'You are not your thoughts'," he says, reciting those words you've said to him countless times after his nightmares. Though now he's repurposing them to someone else who needs them, you. "I repeat that saying in my head all the time. Do you know who taught me that?" he asks, his gaze honing in on you - trying to stop you from looking away.

"Me," you whisper. 

"That's right," he nods, bringing his spare hand to cup your cheek. "You need to use that same kindness to yourself. And right now," he starts, pressing a kiss into your lips. "You have never looked more beautiful to me."

You softly frown, the rest of your features relaxing.

"Your body gave us a daughter," he smiles. "You made her. You may or may not get your ‘old body back.’ But the one you have now is perfect too.”

"Thank you," your voice cracks, the sweet words of your lover soothing all the doubts in your mind. You envelop him in an embrace, arms hugging around him in the ways you've recently longed for. "I mean it."

His arms wrap around you just as tight, one hand running up your spine. "So do I.”

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

tumne jo kahaa ༉‧₊˚.

Summary: every time that y/n speaks to lando in hindi, and he falls in love even more

✎ ln x desi!reader ⊹ ࣪ ˖

✎ fluff ⊹ ࣪ ˖

masterlist ☾☼

lando norris was in love with his girlfriend. like, head over heels, i-will-give-you-my-life-but-live-for-you-if-you-ask kind of love. he loved her confidence and her humour, and how she loved to make jokes about him being british and her being indian. he loved her ambition and her independence and her vulnerability. he loved how much she loved and how she lit up the room every time she walked in.

he, especially, loved when she spoke in hindi. he loved her voice. hearing it healed him on a level he did not understand. but, pair it up with her speaking her native language, and somehow it sounded better. it felt like home.

lando was used to her talking to her family and friends in hindi, and sometimes even caught her talking to herself in hindi. it was the language that she grew up surrounded in, it made sense. the way formula one fans would go silent when the radio sound would go off on their screens, lando became completely silent just so he could listen to her talk. he barely ever understood what she would say, mainly because she would talk too fast for him, but he still listened.

he picked up on a few words here and there, and from context, he had a rough idea what they meant. y/n had never spoken to him in hindi, and it worried him that maybe she did not feel comfortable enough talking to him in a language that she was most comfortable in.

he understood on some levels that as a woman of colour, she had faced a lot of prejudice at her place of work. he could never relate to it, but he knew from watching carlos, checo, lewis, zhou, yuki, and more the way that people discriminated against them. he saw first hand the amount of hate comments that the asian drivers had received, and how carlos and checo's driving had often been discredited because they were spanish or mexican. to avoid facing that kind of discrimination, y/n chose to only ever speak in english, aside from the times that she was speaking to her friends and family in india.

the first time it had happened though, the first time that she spoke to him in hindi was a few months into the relationship, and lando hadn't realised until that moment just how in love he was.

1.

y/n had been busy with work. he knew that she was having a stressful week with the amount of workload her boss put on her just to see if she had what their team needed. whatever the fuck that meant. but, he knew y/n, and he knew that she would take everything her boss threw at her with stride and finish everything needed.

it was almost time for dinner, and lando tried his best to not disturb his girlfriend. he had stuck around in his gaming room for most of the time, and occasionally came out to remind y/n to drink water to change her position so that she didn't hurt her back or her neck.

opening the fridge, lando stared at the contents. his trainer had already sent in his week's meals. pulling one of the boxes out, he searched for something that y/n could eat. opening different boxes, he found one with leftover pasta from last night's dinner. he figured it would be good enough to eat, and since it was y/n's comfort food, she wouldn't mind having pasta two nights in a row.

"y/n, lovie, do you want to have last night's pasta? i can heat it up for you now," lando asked.

y/n was distracted, but she had heard his question, and in her distracted state, she said, "haanji,"

lando froze. y/n had responded to him in hindi. his girlfriend had responded to him in a language that she felt the most herself in. he peeked towards the living room, making sure that he was hidden from her view. quickly shoving the pasta in the microwave, lando couldn't help but dork dance a little bit.

his girlfriend loved him! his girlfriend was comfortable with him! his girlfriend felt safe with him! he threw his fist in the air as he silently jumped around till the microwave beeped.

quickly taking out the bowl, he filled up her bottle with water, and took her dinner to where she was sitting on the couch. her eyes were focused on the screen, her glasses almost falling off her nose.

setting the bowl and her bottle on the coffee table, lando gently ran his fingers through her hair till she looked up at him, confused for a moment.

"hi, lovie," lando said softly. he pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose, as she smiled at him.

"hi. what are you doing here? i thought you were streaming?" she asked, setting her laptop aside.

"i am. i got hungry, so i came to get my dinner, and then i noticed that you hadn't eaten as well, so i heated up last night's pasta."

y/n groaned, "oh my god, i needed pasta right now. thank you, baba." she was already settling on the floor, squeezing herself in the space between the couch and the coffee table.

lando leaned down and pressed a kiss at the top of her head, "are you done with work?"

stuffing a mouthful of pasta, y/n shook her head. lando sat on the couch, running his fingers through her hair continuously, hoping that it was soothing. he waited patiently for her to swallow her food.

"nahi. my boss is making me do a million changes constantly, and every time i give him my reasons for the changes i did, he fights me, and then agrees with me. it's so annoying," y/n ranted.

lando hummed, "that does sound annoying,"

"right!" y/n vented out her work frustration in between bites, and lando sat there with a smile on his face. she had spoken to him in hindi, though not a lot of words, but it counted nonetheless.

once y/n was done with her dinner, and lando had made sure that she had drank enough water, he kissed her softly before letting her get back to work, and he took his dinner and went back to his streaming, where max yelled at him for taking so long.

he didn't even care. all he cared about was the woman sitting in his living room who was letting him into a part of her that she kept guarded from the rest of the world.

the second time it happened, it was on a race weekend. y/n had accompanied him for practice race 3 and the qualifying on saturday. between the first and the second time, lando had learned a lot more hindi, but only the basics. he would ask y/n what some of the words that she was saying meant, and he honestly wasn't surprised when most of them turned out to be cuss words.

2.

lando had kept y/n close to him as much as possible in the paddock. neither of them wanted the media to know about their relationship just yet, so y/n disguised herself as someone part of the team and hung around in places where lando could see her.

y/n kept herself busy, talking to oscar, or some of the mechanics or the pr team. it was fun talking to the people who were part of lando's work life, and she had enjoyed herself thoroughly. lando was exceptionally happy that she was happy and comfortable.

y/n had watched from the practice race from the paddock. lando and she had decided that before and after the races, they would find each other in his driver's room. lando claimed that he needed his good luck kiss from his girlfriend. y/n claimed that he was just being clingy.

after the practice sessions were over, lando had quickly found her in his driver's room, kissing her as soon as the door closed. the two stayed there talking till someone came, calling lando for qualifying.

the process repeated.

y/n watched the qualifying from the paddock, eyes locked on the screen. she watched as lando qualified from q1 to q2 and then from q2 to q3, and she cheered with the rest of the team when lando got p2.

jumping from her seat, y/n quickly ran to lando's driver's room, and bounced on her feet as she waited for him. though, she didn't have to wait long, because before she knew it, lando was bursting in the room.

his arms wrapped around her waist, and he was picking her up as the two laughed.

"i'm so proud of you!" y/n exclaimed.

"p2, baby!"

before they could celebrate further, one of the pr team member was knocking on the door, calling lando for the media work.

sighing, lando quickly kissed y/n, before he left. y/n smiled as she watched him go, incredibly proud of him and how far he had come.

she knew that media would take some time, so she settled on the couch, covering herself up with lando's hoodie. it was cozy and it smelled of him and she didn't realise when she fell asleep.

lando had tried to wrap up media as soon as possible. they always asked him the same questions every time, and lando desperately wanted to go back to y/n.

he repeated the answers that the media trained him to say, and he smiled and laughed at all the right places. he said what the media wanted to hear, and he made small talk with all the drivers he met on the way back. he even stopped to quickly speak to andrea and zak. but, with every second away from his girlfriend, he was getting all the more impatient.

once all his duties were over, he practically ran to his driver's room. pushing the door open, he stopped short, a smile taking over his face.

his adorable girlfriend was cuddled on the tiny bed that he had with his mclaren hoodie clutched in her hands. closing the door softly behind him, he sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook her awake.

"lovie?"

y/n let out a soft groan before she opened her eyes, looking up at lando. "hi, lan. hogaya sab?"

lando nodded, "mhmm. i'm done with media and everything, and now we can go home,"

y/n nodded. she heard what he said. but, she closed her eyes again and cuddled further into lando's hoodie. softly, she said, "chaddar chahiye."

lando chuckled, "we've got blankets at home, baby. we can go home and cuddle and sleep till tomorrow morning,"

she opened her eyes slightly and held out her pinky finger to him, "promise?"

he laughed, curling his finger around hers before leaning in and pressing a kiss to their joined fingers, "promise, lovie. let's go, now."

y/n sat up, satisfied with lando's promise. she let him hold onto her as they quickly left the paddock and headed towards his car, where she promptly fell asleep again, her pinky finger locked in his.

moments like these, lando wished he could remember forever. if he had the ability to turn memories into movies, he would turn this moment into a never ending movie.

over the years, he had gotten good at understanding her hindi. he could understand sentences, though he could never form a single one. the pronunciations were too difficult for him, but he appreciated y/n trying to teach him nonetheless. especially when she taught him the correct way to pronounce 'shawarma'.

3.

something that was lando's favourite little habit that y/n had was how she had an internal clock for some things. it was never for anything useful like eating meals on time or drinking enough water. it was more for things like calling up her mother when it was lunch time in india, or texting him when he'd be home.

her mind somehow instinctively called or texted at the same time every day, and he never understood how that was possible. but, he refused to question it.

a conversation that the two had almost every time he was out for work or at the gym, training, at exactly 7:52 pm, y/n texted him asking where he was.

she always looked forward to him coming home, and it made lando's heart warm, knowing that someone he loved, loved him enough to want him around.

she was more than enough for him, but he was also enough for her.

though, it was on their first anniversary when she called him a name that truly made him realise just how much she loved him.

4.

lando had stayed up all night putting the final touches to his gift for y/n. since he enjoyed art, and she loved collecting his art work, lando had bought a clear lamp to keep at her bedside and decorate it on his own.

he'd been told that it was a shitty gift idea. but, y/n was afraid of sleeping in complete darkness, so maybe it wasn't such a shitty idea? he didn't know, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

unfortunately, staying up all night and spending the entire anniversary day with his girlfriend doing boyfriend-girlfriend things had tired him out beyond belief and he had fallen sick.

as he lay on the couch wrapped in blankets, he listened to his girlfriend's muttering, "meine pehele kaha tha ki mat karo, par kisi ne sunni? nahi. meri baat sunta kaun hai iss ghar mein."

"babe, i'm sorry," lando whined.

sighing, y/n sat close to her boyfriend and said, "jaan-e-mann, i don't care about anything else more than you. you need to take care of your health first. i love the gift, i promise, but i just needed you."

he stared at her for a second before saying, "that one's new. i haven't heard that one before,"

tilting her head in confusion, she asked, "what's new? jaan-e-mann?"

lando nodded, pulling the blankets closer to his face.

her cheeks turned red as she explained, "jaan-e-mann means my love, my life, my beloved. you are my love, my life, and my beloved. you are my jaan. my jaan-e-mann,"

his smile was wide, and he reached out his hand towards her. she took his hand, and he interlocked their fingers before he whispered, "you're my jaan-e-mann too,"

y/n leaned in, kissing lando, before she pulled back and slapped his chest, "i'm still mad at you for getting sick!"

lando let out a playful groan. he was her jaan-e-mann. nothing else mattered.

✧˚ ʚɞ˚ ༘✿ ♡ ⋆｡˚

hi! i hope you guys enjoyed this! for the non-desi readers, "meine pehele kaha tha ki mat karo, par kisi ne sunni? nahi. meri baat sunta kaun hai iss ghar mein." this line basically means, "i had warned you before to not do it, but did anyone listen? no. no one listens to me in this house." i have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

[trees-be-drawing]

Okay… so I started reading @annzy-bananzys-corner ‘s “Snettles” as I was scrolling through Snufmin fanfics to read on AO3 back in early December, and… holy cow is it good!!!

Not only did the art cover from one of my favorite artists drew me in, but the writing was just 👌✨ GORGEOUS!!

All the characters written had such good chemistry towards each other, and Snorkmaiden ended up being the funniest to me. I couldn’t stop laughing so hard at her trying to be the voice of reason to the two lovable idiots that are Moomin and Snufkin in the early chapters.

So as typical fashion, I felt a great need to draw it. Cuz honestly, long-haired Snufkin was not something I thought was going to make me go feral but hot damn does he look so pretty in long hair!

Okay so…

SPOILERS TO THE FIC!!!

It’s pretty blurry but 1. I don’t have the best camera quality, and 2. It’s a bit faded since it took me a whole month to do this. (Update: I got a clearer picture. Sorry, I was rushing to get this out for a whole month)

But anyway, I had absolute gender envy every time I drew Snufkin with long hair. And there was definitely a lot more I wanted to draw, and felt bad I didn’t draw Little My especially.

I’m actually glad for the cover art too, it acted as a perfect reference to use but unfortunately I’m not very good at drawing Moomin and I’m envious at how @hanekdrawsmoomins draws them! They’re so fluffy and pretty!!

I definitely had to draw Snorkmaiden calling Snufkin a twink. I couldn’t resist. What I didn’t intend was for it to be right next to Snufkin having a breakdown over the overpowering song in his ears 😅 I also decided in order to differentiate Moomin and Snorkmaiden, I gave Snorkmaiden more rounder and fluffier features like her tail and ears. It’s subtle but I was pretty happy with it.

I get giddy every time I drew Moomin and Snufkin, but Snorkmaiden and Alicia needed some love too. I wanted to try some perspective which… I’ll admit I’m not very good at, but I did my best. I normally don’t draw backgrounds but I wanted to give the scenes more character and it was pretty fun, even if it’s not perfect.

I also thought to myself “maybe the reason Moomin didn’t recognize Snufkin was because he’s never seen Snufkin’s hair deflate in the water” so I drew the comparison to Snufkin and “Snettles” for that one scene where Moomin realized how similar they were. I also imagined his hair gets longer in mermaid form.. hehe! :3

I was also very excited to do my interpretation of the Lady of the Sea but I’ll be honest… I did procrastinate on it for a while which is why it took so long. I know the description said “seaweed green hair” and not the fact it’s actual seaweed but… I hope you don’t mind but I gave her seaweed hair. Made of different types of seaweed too :3 I actually want to colour it at some point but if there’s any changes I should do to her design, you can let me know. I’ve loved to get an accurate idea on her :3 I also used the mermaids from the 90’s as reference to give her fins on her head, although Snufkin doesn’t have any but I’d argue it’s cuz he’s only half mermaid.

It’s a very scattered looking comic kind of page but man! There was so many moments that were genuinely so good I felt tempted to even draw a full comic book on this!!

But no… unfortunately I am very easy to lose motivation and I’ve been and will be pretty busy for the majority of my current life cuz of college and stuff so I’m afraid I can’t draw often.

Good thing I’m on break at the moment :3

But anyway, it was super duper fun drawing these!! I’m actually super duper proud of them :3

Actually…. You wanna know how much I loved my sketch of Moomin and Snufkin on their midnight swim?

I COLOURED IT!! GONE BACK TO MY DIGITAL ART ROOTS FOR THIS!!!

Honestly I don’t think I did that great but I did this on iBisPaint, and there was a version where he had brown hair… until I read a section saying he has red hair so I quickly changed it to how it looks currently.

I also realized too late that the scales on his cheeks weren’t actually scales but freckles… which…. You know what? Fuck it. His freckles turn to fish scales. And they’re shiny :3

I also decided to make his scales glow but then remembered that doesn’t happen till Chapter 13. But hey, I think it gave it a calm feeling with how warm it must feel to be snuggled up like that on the water. Heck even my sister agreed.

Overall, Moomin fanfics have really helped with my art block.

And sorry for the really long yapping session. I like talking about my thought process on these things, and I genuinely can’t wait for the next chapter whenever or if it ever comes. I understand you’re busy so I don’t blame you but… damn you really left it on a cliffhanger huh? Still love it though! :3

Also I’m not sure why the link for the fic isn’t working properly cuz normally it would be automatic but… I’ll see if I can fix it at some point (update, I fixed it!)

[birdofmay]

I just saw one of those "autism isn't linear, it's a spectrum" posts again and one picture was that how much the traits are pronounced could look like this:

[ID: two golden circles filled with the spectral colours. There are five white dots in each circle, each for one of the five categories: "sensory", "language", "executive function", "motor skills", and "perception". One dot is connected with its neighbouring dot by a black line, making it a simple polygon. In the first circle, it's almost a triangle, in the second circle it's a pentagon. Unfortunately my maths isn't good enough to tell you the name of the pentagon, but the bottom and the right side appear to be of equal length. /end ID]

And yeah, exactly, to use the outdated terms "high functioning" and "low functioning" - this individual here would be considered high functioning. Some traits are very pronounced and in fact very disabling. That's why "high functioning" dismisses the struggles of those autistics.

But they are considered high functioning because there are many traits that aren't that pronounced.

To illustrate that, this here would be someone considered low functioning:

[ID: The circle from above, but now there's a black line subsequently drawn within the circle, almost bordering the golden line. There are no white dots, but just imagine that the dots are on the outer edges, meaning that the traits are very pronounced. /end ID]

And you do see the difference, right? Every trait is very pronounced, very disabling, there's nothing that's not on the outer edges.

Sure, low functioning doesn't make sense when it's applied casually to every autistic with intellectual disability, or when it's applied to everyone who has some traits that aren't very pronounced - and unfortunately that was the case way too often.

But I just wanted to illustrate "severity" to you.

This is why I was diagnosed with "severe autism", because none of my traits are "weak" enough to compensate for the pronounced traits.

I don't like functioning labels either, I especially think that high functioning is very harmful if it's applied to an individual by others because it ignores that many of those autistics still have needs that need to be met and still struggle and (often) still in fact are disabled.

But you do see the difference, right?

My language skills got better over time (as you can read), but I still can't speak. My motor skills got better over time, but I still need people to help me with BADLs. My perception got better recently - I now sometimes hear when people call my name. But everything else? My perception is still shit.

That's the difference. That's why "high functioning" dismisses struggles but at the same time definitely is different from people diagnosed with severe autism. You can't even compare your bad days with our good days. Our life is completely different because we don't have those "weak traits" in the circle that you have.

Right.

And we definitely need to talk about the "neither nor" category of medium functioning and medium support needs, but that's for another day. This autism acceptance month maybe 😁

[orikiys]

🔖 、 A LETTER TO MY EX

ᘛ 𓏧     ࣪    𖠵 희승 ☓ fem!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning loneliness can’t-move-on-ex not proofread & 798 words

remember the first time when we asked each other our favourite colours? i feel like yours has changed drastically. from blue to orange then back to blue and now? what is your favourite colour now? i forgot i can’t ask you that anymore. i don’t have the authority to ask. who am i to you now? just the past that you’re trying to forget so hard? i remembered another thing, i remembered the way you would convert time differences just so you could remind me to eat on time, to take my multivitamins on time, to give me a good luck message an hour before i left home, just so i didn’t feel alone.

now all i feel is dread. i’m surrounded by it. engulfed within the cores that no matter how hard i try to escape, an image of you never fails to pop up in my head. when i go to work, i see myself glancing at my phone out of habit as i used to when you texted me ‘have a good day!’. i still remember the first time you called me, i even remember the place where i picked up your call. it’s silly, it’s childish even, but i find myself walking down to that place sometimes and wondering what would have happened if i never picked that call? would we still be dating? would we still be in the phase where we asked each other our favourites?

you might not know this, but i added your city to my weather app a month after we broke up. it marked exactly a month since i’ve stopped receiving your phone calls, since i’ve stopped receiving any text messages from you. exactly a month since i’ve stopped knowing you. but i knew that no matter if it's been a month or five months, hating you might be the hardest journey. i still check the temperature of your city every day. but i have to stop myself from reminding you to carry an umbrella with you, because i don’t know where to find you anymore. you’ve gone. you’ve gone somewhere far away that even if i try to trace those steps they’ll just lead me to nowhere.

i still remember when i made snow angels and sent it to you. you called me a real life angel. upto this day, i can still see the shy smile on your when that ‘angel’ converted into a nickname. but now? even hearing that word anywhere makes me go into a deep hypnosis of what it felt like dating you. it felt complicated. each day i felt different emotions. one day i would be re-reading your texts a hundred times till they’re embedded into my brain and on other days i would be cursing you out for reasons i don’t wish to remember.

dating you had that spark in it, until it didn’t. until it just felt like carrying a burden all to myself. it felt suffocating to even open your texts just for me to see a simple ‘ok’ or just for me to see you’ve left me on read, again. just the way you left me all alone by myself. i thought we were special? i thought we were meant to be? but guess it was just me.

i tried to scab the areas you hurt, healed and then hurt again. but how could i scab my heart? it’s too precious. too fragile. but clearly it didn’t even take you a single regret when you broke that heart of mine. you were like the song that was always stuck in my head and like the words i never had a filter on. you just kept flowing all around me, making me lose myself into a tangled mess. i ended up embracing that mess in hopes you would call me your lover again.

i still wonder how it all happened. how the invisible cracks began to spiral the way more quickly until we could no longer bridge with words or actions. we started doing the bare minimum for each other and felt that it was enough. it wasn’t some sort of god’s plan but maybe it was all written in that book of fate because the more i think about it, the more i feel that this breaking apart couldn’t be fixed no matter how much the two sides tried to. except, none of the sides tried. we just stopped caring. there was no realisation until i felt you slip away from my grasp. until i had realised that i’d been wrapping my arms around something that was gone. a sense of nostalgia. perhaps the faded away moments. but i knew that i would answer if you reached out again. no matter the years it took. but i won’t ever forgive you for the way you threw that relationship out your head like an empty piece of cardboard lying at home. i won’t forgive unless i forget.

sincerely,

your angel

[homeofatlas]

Maybe We're Both Chasing Ghosts

Summary: You and Elisa break up and long for each other.

Auhors note: yall i know i said i was gonna write the other one first..........im so sorry, hope ur in the mood for some angst tho

WC: 2k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Letting go has never been easy for you. You never learned how to give up, concede, or when it was time to let something go. Especially when someone is the love of your life. 

You’re going crazy. Plain and simple you’ve started seeing things. The side table lamp Elisa always used to have on in the living room when she was up late is on when it’s just you in the apartment, her figure walking around the corner, the smell of her as you walk past the door to the balcony. Everything you do reminds you of when she was here. Everywhere you go there's a woman with the same colour hair or skin tone and there’s a colleague who’s expression reminds you of the way Elisas brows furrowed when she was confused. It all makes your stomach hurt to look at and yet you never look away. You’ll hurt as long as you get a chance to see a part her again. 

You know Elisa was doing what she thought was best for both of you. The constant near misses with communication. How far apart you always felt even when you were right next to each other. The stretches you’d go without talking and when you did it felt forced and stilted. Nothing like the beginning when the silence had been because you both were quieter people and enjoyed simply basking in each other's presence. There were times when it had felt like you almost had what you used to have back before it would slip away again. The silences which would drag out seconds too long. 

Maybe it started when you felt like you were overwhelming her, maybe it started when she stopped looking for you first in a crowded room, maybe it was over the second you were finally comfortable. It seems to be a running theme in your life, “Nothing gold can ever stay.” What you won’t admit to as a non religious person is the day before she told you it was for the better to walk away, you asked the moon to keep her. I’ll do anything, just let me keep her. You pleaded and yet no one listened. 

She’s your best friend even though you haven't spoken in months. Three months, two weeks and four days if you were counting. She knows you inside and out, from the food you don’t like to how you appreciate actions more than words. What gets you is the way she knew everything about you and you knew everything about her and none of it was enough to prevent this. 

As the winter months begin to creep in and the wind nips at your cheeks again you feel the weight of her absence more than ever. You never realised you’d become conditioned to having an arm slung around your shoulder until the first time you shivered in a group of friends and a weight hadn’t overcome you to pull you into her side. When you’d been cold and no one had grabbed your hands to warm them up and kissed either side of your cheeks to make you smile and blush. Something in you had felt incomplete without nagging Elisa to put on an extra sweater as you went out because it’ll be cold and you are only human no matter what you say about being super hot Elisa. The way you’d looked up the hall to see whether or not she was coming and then remembered no one was there and there hadn’t been for a while. 

Her ghost hangs heavy in the side of the couch she always used to lay on with the pillow she liked and in the weight of the pan she used to cook almost every meal (the handle feels different like it’s been melded to her hand exactly). Since she left you’ve been missing a part of you. Date your best friend, they say, it’ll be amazing. It was, you wouldn’t give a second of it for anything but this type of pain makes you understand why they call it heartbreak. You feel as though you’ve been split in two and are missing a limb. You’d never been a child who’d cried for their parents and when you’d moved to Europe for schooling you’d never looked back but now at 26 you were learning what it felt like to be home sick. 

Elisa pov:

She’d fucked up. She didn’t know loneliness could be so all encompassing. She’s tried to fill her days with training and exercise and then going out with friends and calling her family “just because she wants to talk.” All of it is to keep her from stopping and thinking about you. The way she’s become less of a whole while still being one person. Half of her is missing. She can’t explain it without sounding like she’s co dependant but she couldn’t tell where she ended and you began. 

Something is missing. 

Scratch that. 

Everything is missing. 

A part of her is empty. 

And she knows she’s got no one to blame but herself. Instead of talking to you, she’d decided the connection you’d had was too good to be true. Of course it was, how can something so romantic exist in real life? It doesn’t. Except it does, the little voice in her heart whispers, you had it. She’d seen it, she’d felt it, she’d tasted it. Had it in the palm of her hand and let it slip away. 

The ache is eating away at her. A dull pulsing in her head constantly, she keeps herself exhausted to the point of falling straight into bed when she gets back to her apartment. It’s hard to call it home anymore without your perfume lingering in the air anymore. Your chapsticks stashed in various drawers through the apartment are gone. All the lights are off when she comes back. The place is empty. She’s empty. 

She’d taken down all the photos and traces of you left around and put them in a box hoping it would help her heal faster. All it does is test her willpower to not empty the tubes of chapstick trying to touch something your lips have been on. No matter what she does, the quiet keeps creeping in. She can’t outrun the itch beneath her skin. The ache in her bones that never seems to fade. The feeling in her gut screaming something isn’t right. The quiet used to be her sanctuary now it’s suffocating without you to smile at her from across a room or squeeze her shoulder as you pass by. 

She simultaneously feels invisible and like she sticks out like a sore thumb in every room she’s in. She’s not meant to be there. She’s meant to be next to you. But now you’re standing on the other side of the change room laughing at a joke she hasn’t heard, hasn’t told and something in her is coiling. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen when it snaps. 

Jackie is helping you put your necklace back on and it shouldn’t bug her but it does. She’s hot and this room is too small. She knows it’s not like that but when Jackie brushes your hair to one side, a tad unnecessary if she gets a say, she has to tear her gaze away. Putting your necklaces back on after practice used to be her job. The small moment of quiet intimacy is what she’d wait all day for. When it felt like nothing else in your relationship was working, she’d always had that at the end of the day. Her fingers brushing the nape of your neck, the brush of your hair to your side, a smile creeping onto her face. If no one else was in the room she’d kiss the back of your neck and wrap her arms around you from behind. You’d stand there basking in each other's presence until you were ready to let go. 

She’s fuming someone has taken her place, although not really and if someone has taken her place as your partner, her stomachs turns and she might be sick at the thought. A small voice calls out within her, be gentle with her. 

She needs to get out of here asap. She’ll call her mom on the drive home, then go for a run, then pick up groceries when she gets back, she should really call her brother soon and see what he’s been working on lately, maybe there's a game on tonight she can catch- anything to keep her from thinking about you and this and how she’s fucked up. 

Cause here’s the thing, even when you’d stopped texting her when you got home and when slowly less and less clothes of yours were appearing in her laundry, you’d never stopped being in sync on the pitch. Always anticipating the others' moves before she did it herself. It was infuriating to know you almost had it all. That’s what happens when you know everything about a person, every habit, every movement, she knows she could pick you out of a room of people just by how you breathe. 

By the time she gets home from her post practice run she’s too tired to make dinner. She’ll order it in, making a deal with herself that she’ll walk to go pick it up. One of the things that most endeared her to you in the beginning was the willingness to break your nutrition plans laid out by the staff. Technically you were allowed to eat what you wanted but some foods were heavily discouraged. Such as pasta with a ton of carbs and no vegetables, which happened to be your favourite meal. 

Slipping her shoes on and beginning the walk down to the italian place you loved to have date nights in she remembers all the times you'd made the walk together. She tries to not think about you and keep herself busy. The key word is tries because about 95% of the time she fails at it. A part of her hopes she’ll walk in to pick up her order and you’ll be there too. Hearts, stomachs, and feet falling in sync together once more. Please, she turns her eyes upward, let me get what I want this once. 

Despite her quick checks around the restaurant and toward the bathroom and her dragging out the process longer than she needs to just in case you showed up, she resigns herself to a life of loneliness. Lost her thoughts she pulls the door open as someone pushes in and they stumble into her. 

“Oh my god i’m so sorry-”

Your eyes turn upwards and meet hers. You both suck in sharp breaths chests in sync as they push against each other. Your eyes lock and the tension is almost unbearable but pretending like you don’t know each other is the most unbearable thing that could happen. Her hand, which came up to stabilise you, rests on your arm. Her thumb twitches to flick up and rub soothing circles right below your bicep. 

If she gets a second chance she’s thinking now might be the time to act on it. She lets herself relax and smile at you, she can instantly feel the sigh of relief. 

“Pretty sure this isn’t on your diet plan” She teases. 

You smile challengingly up at her, “Pretty sure it isn’t on yours either.”

Your smiles are growing bigger by the second. 

“Well,” She whispers and leans closer to you, dropping her voice to an octave where she knows only you’ll be able to hear her. “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

She knows what speaking low in a crowded room does to you, it’s no surprise when she feels you shiver against her. She wraps her hand around her bicep now, rubbing your arm up and down as if she’s heating you up, all an excuse to touch you again. 

You lean in conspiratorially, “Okay your secrets safe with me.” Nodding to sell the act. 

You both stand and stare because what are the chances? Maybe, you both think, I don't have to keep chasing your ghost. 

[lululandd]

content;

pairing: simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader

word count: 1177

warning: fluff, reader is into plants

notes: inspired by an instagram reel that @/myscprin sent (this fic is also on ao3)

summary: it started out with a stupid potted plant. 

Soap had drunkenly bought him one and would not stop whinging until he actually took it home. The man also had the audacity to ask him how the plant is doing, weeks after.

“Fine.” He lied. They were probably browning on his balcony, in a worse condition than he last saw them. It was funny; exciting even, to water the first couple days, having something easy to take care of, but then he saw signs of it not going to make it and subsequently avoided them entirely. Closed his blinds so he doesn’t have to see them die for good measure. The work call came immediately after, and he’s glad he doesn’t have to see it again for a couple months. He can just use work as an excuse next time Soap asks about the dead plant and be done with it.

But it wasn’t done with. Work took eight months, and gathering the courage to just step out to be greeted with a dirty balcony and a dead plant took two weeks extra. But it wasn’t dead. It was thriving. He might be remembering wrong—which is rare for him—but he could’ve sworn the pots were actual terracotta instead of stone painted to look like terracotta. Its leaves are supposed to be brown, or yellow, but they’re now different shades of red, some even resembling wine. Confused, he went back in and kept the blinds closed, joking to himself that maybe it just disliked seeing him, and was better off left alone.

Or so he thought.

The next day he came back to the balcony only to be greeted by a wet patch of floor, and droplets of water on the leaves. It didn’t rain at all yesterday, so either there's a leak that landed right where his plant sits, or someone watered his plants for him. His suspicions landed on the apartment above his neighbour’s, since they’re the only one with an abundance of plants on their balcony. Even though they shared fire escape stairs, and could easily come down to his portion of the balcony, he doubted they would walk down the stairs every single day just to water his plants. So he wanted to see how they did it. Perhaps just hose it from afar? Since they did horribly miss his pot today, from the evidence of excess water on the floor.

How mistaken he was.

It was a weekend, and as soon as he woke up and got his tea and digestives, he sat with his blinds barely open and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Until he saw your figure, half covered by the curtains, waltzing right to his plant and watered it as if it was your own. You were there for at most two minutes before walking back upstairs and out of his line of sight.

This has to stop.

Quietly, he took the plant off the balcony and into the apartment, setting it down on an unoccupied dining chair. The plant might seem normal on the balcony, but indoors it looked out of place. It was as if his whole apartment felt smaller and devoid of colour as he stared at it.

Ghost was cleaning a shelf the next day when he heard a loud gasp outside. His reflexes got the better of him and opened the door to see the girl on her tippy toes looking down as if searching for something, and then turned back to look at him. They both stared at eachother like a deer in headlights, although in their heads they’re the deer and the other is the headlights.

Ghost was a deer for not taking good care of his plant, hiding it, and opening his balcony door in record time, and the girl was also a deer because she got caught going to someone else’s balcony to water said plant.

“Sorry, I—“ They both started at the same time.

“Oh, no, I’m sor—“ They started again.

The girl raised her free hand, “I’ll go first. I got scared that your plant fell or something. Sorry if I startled you.” As she said her gaze fell onto the plant in question sitting (unhappily) on the chair.

He looked back at it, “Brought it in to brighten up the place.” He lied. He didn’t even like it. He didn’t  like it being indoors, making his already measly living quarters feel even more barren. For some reason her face brightened.

“I have some plants that are easy to take care of, if you want more? I have some that doesn’t need sunlight that much so you can put it in th—“

“No.” What in bloody fuck was she thinking. Did she forget why she watered it in the first place? Is she daft? “Thanks. I go on work trips often.”

To his confusion her face brightened even more. “I can take care of them while you’re away, if you’d let me?”

Oh.

He had fallen right into her trap. Dead fucking centre. If he perceived her as an enemy he’d kill her there and then. But no part of his instincts or his sharpened mind saw her as one. It was his ego talking.

“Nah. You fancy him?” He pointed at the plant.

She shook her head, “I have no more space at mine.”

He went back and reached for it. “Tell you what. I’ll put this boy right back out here. And you can have half of my space for your shit. Sounds good?” 

Unfortunately for Ghost, the girl’s wide grin and sparkly doe eyes got burned in his mind for good. 

“You mean it?”

“Yeah.”

Work called him to Iceland not a week later and he spent the next few months barely seeing the sun. The country lacked sunlight, which was good for clandestine missions, but he could feel it took a toll on his mental health. Those artificial UV lights made his body feel better but his mind longed for the real deal. So that's why as soon as he got home he opened his curtains to its fullest to bask him and his apartment in some warmth. It took him about fifteen minutes to process what he was seeing. The girl really did take half his space. The space that made him rearrange his apartment layout completely so he could sit down on any chair and still have a view of said space. She had filled it to the best of her abilities while still making way for him to walk onto. Different plants with leaves of varying colours and sizes sat on colourful pots. He spent one morning just sitting there with his tea, trying to spot silly little frog statues half hidden underneath the growth.

It had been a while since he felt something other than dread when he got home, it was the first time in his shitty little apartment that he felt a smile creeping up his face, and it was the first time in what seemed to be forever that he felt.. content.

part 2

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for giving away my sisters fish?

This is a dumb and very long story (i could probably shorten it somehow but I don't know how) and I know the title makes me look bad.

Ok so, one evening my mom and my little sister(let's call her Jess) brought home a container of four fish that mum said she saw a guy selling on the road for about 2 dollars (I'm not american so I just calculated and it comes out to around 2 dollars)

This was during the end of year break when Jess was home (usually we all go to boarding school) None of us had ever had pet fish before and we didn't know what kind of fish they were, they looked different from each other and their size difference was pretty big too(the largest was about the size of three nail clippers stacked on top of each other and the smallest was about the size of 1/2 of a car key). So we weren't sure of the species of any and bought the most nondescript pack of fish food we could find, they ate it so we thought things were ok.

About 1 month into the break though (the end of year break where I am is 2 months), 1 of the fish died for reasons we still don't know (we changed the water every 3 days) and two weeks later a second one just disappeared, it wasn't in the bowl, and no one knew what happened. So by the time school started there were 2 fish left (Jess was sad but we also have dogs so she wasn't too sad)

All of us go to different boarding schools but ive been going to a day-school this past year because I'm scheduled for a surgery, so when everyone went back it was just me with the fish.

My elder sister (let's call her Kat) came home from university for a while and she thought the fish were cool so she asked my mom if she could tell her where she got them so she could get some for her dorm. My mom told her she just got them from some guy on the road who didn't have a stall and probably wouldn't be there if she drove to the place she found him. So she went back to uni without any fish

Flash forward, 4 weeks into the term, my mom comes to get me from school and she says was passing the area she saw the guy and he was there with another container of fish this time with about 10 fish also of various muddy and sandy colours, about length of the diameter of a soda-bottle cap (my mom said they also cost her about 2 dollars). I said we could split the fish in half, keep 6 and give Kat 6 for her dorm.

So I'm sitting in the car, holding the container of fish my laps and my mom suddenly stops the car because a person walking on the sidewalks falls into the trenches on the sides of the road. The person is ok but the car stops so suddenly and I'm not holding the container securely so it falls from my laps.

The container has a lid so the car is ok but the guy added some small rocks and a fake plant to the container so they kind of bury the some of fish and 6 of them die. I look on like an idiot while mom tries to settle the rocks but another fish is buried when the rocks are settled.

By the time we get home and transfer all the living fish into the bowl we already have, we have 5 fish in total. We move them to a new, slightly bigger bowl and feed them but by the next morning when I'm going to school i see 3 fish left.

When I get home, I tell my mom that maybe we aren't ready for fish and we should give them to Kat whose dorm may be less of a safety hazard (during the end of year break we used to play with the fish a lot, trying to touch their tails etc so we're definitely the reason the first batch died anyway. We're also 8 kids and there are kids older and younger than me so it would be hard to stop EVERYONE from being rough with the fish). I also had exams coming up and I was starting to put of changing the water and cleaning bowl until i saw algae growing on sides.

Kat has a roommate who thinks the fish are cool too so incase one of them forgets maintaining the fish the other can do it. (I also kind of secretly hoped the all fish would just die a week or two into being with them so it wouldn't bother them anymore I feel bad about it)

Anyway, 3 weeks later when Kat came home she took the fish with her. It's around the middle of the first term so it was Visitation Day at Jess's school yesterday (I think the name is self explanatory) and the first thing she asked about was the fish. I didn't know what to say so I told her the truth and she was so SAD!!(I mean obviously she'd be sad but visitation day is supposed to be a good day) because we named the fish and everything(the first batch, not the second) . I tried to tell her how Kat and her roommate were nice and would give the new fish good name but she said that was dumb I knew that was dumb and I wish had just lied about the whole thing and asked my mom to buy new fish but I feel like Jess would know so said nothing else

My mom kind of cheered her up by saying that during the holidays they could go get a good tank and actual goldfish from a better place but she was mad at me because I suggested that the fish be given to Kat and I feel like she's right because it would be stupid to ask Kat to bring the fish wish her the next time she came home.

All my other siblings not just Jess also got attached to the fish so I'll just be breaking the news to everyone for the next three weeks (because all schools where I am schedule visitation day in the same month) and just generally ruining the mood.

What are these acronyms?

[sunshinebingo]

A Gwynriel meet-cute fic inspired by my writer's block and the music video of I Hear A Symphony by Cody Fry.

Synopsis: Gwyn tries everything possible to put a stop to her writer's block, unbeknownst that her source of inspiration will appear right at her door.

Word Count: 2.4k

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

She sat, alone and upset.

She sat in her home, as lonely and desperate as she had ever been, and waited for a miracle to happen.

Gwyn crossed yet another sentence, the words becoming less readable with every line she frustratingly drew across them.

“Ugh. I’m a lost cause,” she complained.

What was she doing wrong? She was applying every advice she had received from her fellow authors, some of which had worked for her previous writer’s blocks. She was so desperate that she was even doing everything all at once to increase her chances at finally writing. Her head had been a blank slate for too many months now.

The first step had been to put on her comfiest hoodie and shorts, her hair up in a high ponytail, and to sit on her comfiest chair at her desk with some cool water. She was also using a pen and paper instead of her laptop. Typing everything out later would be an extra step, but one that she was willing to take. If, she hoped hard, she managed to write anything at all. In addition to all that, she was using a different colour than black, and had convinced herself that she was using a different font. If she always used Times New Roman, Arial or Calibri, her own handwriting had to count as a new font, right?

She even had ambient music playing in the background; the sound of a peaceful forest that she imagined her heroine – a nymph – living in. From the different sounds that floated around her, Gwyn imagined the nymph sitting in her little cottage, with a freshly polished dagger on a table next to a steaming cup of hibiscus tea. Magical birds could be heard chirping outside along with her ethereal voice humming. Occasionally, Gwyn could also hear tiny footsteps and giggles that made her think of the little folks that she had introduced earlier in chapter 3.

All the conditions were perfect. Every element was right here in her head; the setting, the mood, the time and weather. Yet it still felt like nothing was happening. As though she couldn’t get her heroine to do anything, no matter how hard Gwyn poked her with her mental stick. Perhaps she was also waiting for something more interesting than everything her creator came up with.

Gwyn sighed and rubbed her eyes. The bright pink was starting to hurt her tired eyes and making her annoyance with herself grow. Maybe she should have picked a different one among her many colourful pens. Could a glittery one work?

She took a few sips of water from her favourite mug, followed by a few slow and deeps breaths during which she wondered how the hell she had managed to publish two books in four years with a brain like hers.

Reading and writing were a passion that she had successfully turned into her job. It meant more to her than just paying her bills and affording everything she owned. It was her source of joy and fulfilment; what had slowly let her out of her safe shell and had given her a reason to live. At least it was all of this when the made-up creatures living in her head actually did things that she could write about. Her team of editors and publishers would never approve of a story where the characters only sat and waited for the unknown for half of the book.

“Someone could die,” Gwyn tapped her pen against her cheek and thought out loud. But for that to happen, she would have to come up with a motive and a plan.

She imagined her protagonist staring blankly at her as if to ask, “Really?”

She scowled at the pink ink on the white paper and asked, “What else do you suggest to spice up the plot?”

She refused to give up on her story midway through. Something would happen. She just needed faith in her creativity and her skills. And a prayer or two to the writers’ gods to send a genius idea her way. With little hope that they would listen, Gwyn plunged back into her story, where the nymph was still doing a whole lot of nothing.

She sat there, as lonely and desperate as she had ever felt, and slowly giving up on the hope that miracles could happen, when a rattling sound disturbed the quiet of her home. It persisted until…

“Wait a second.”

…until the author realised that the sound was coming from outside her own apartment door.

“What the hell?”

Both of Gwyn’s best friends, Emerie and Nesta, the only two who ever showed up at her place unannounced, were currently at work. Even if they had gotten out early, they would have knocked or called after finding her door locked. Which it most often was. The building that Gwyn lived in was quite luxurious with an excellent security system. But judging by the person who had been trying to forcefully open her door for the last minute, Gwyn’s anxiety about her safety began to surface again.

She stood from her desk and made her way towards what could be an intruder. Holding her pink pen up like a serial killer might hold a knife, Gwyn brought her hand to the knob. If she was fast enough, she could press the button on the interphone right next to the door as soon as she opened it and alert the security guard. But what if Frank was already dead and now the killer was coming for her? Gwyn damned herself for having gone with an apartment on the second floor instead of the twenty-second. What was the benefit of having one of the best balconies in the building if she was among the firsts to die?

“Pull yourself together Gwyneth!” she told herself.

Her heroine wouldn’t cower before the one trying to break through her cottage. She would feel the fear but confront it. Gwyn might have no dagger nor claws; she might have no magic to bring down her enemies. But, like her nymph, she refused to die. Not when she had a story to finish. Gwyn summoned as much courage as she had often infused her nymph with and yanked her door open.

What she saw crouching before her with a key in one gloved hand and a black and blue helmet in the other didn’t look like a murderer. Not that she had ever knowingly come face to face with one to know what they looked like.

Gwyn lowered her pen at her side as the man straightened and towered over her with strong arms and broad shoulders that were hugged by a black leather jacket. His brown skin glowed under the dim yellow light of the baroque-style hallway of the building. His hazel eyes were like a blaze that bore into Gwyn, even as the rest of his handsome face showed signs of surprise. There was a hint of confusion apparent in the frown of his obsidian eyebrows that matched the colour of his short, dishevelled hair.

He looked like a male straight out of a romantasy. The type whose looks alone could mark him as someone who is always broody. Until he meets the one who can effortlessly make him smile with an adorable laugh, a teasing remark or an irreverent challenging look; the latter being the kind a writer like herself would describe as a withering stare that would earn the object of the male’s fascination an amused chuckle.

Was he even real? Or had Gwyn dived so deep into her fictional world that she had landed somewhere inside it? If it was the case, then it meant that there was more to her story that she had yet to discover, since she had never met such a stunning man in that world of hers. She didn’t even know that such beauty and magnetism was possible.

He was just standing there in front of her. Yet his eyes seemed to hold a power that made it impossible for her to acknowledge anything else.

“Hello.”

The deep voice she heard didn’t sound like it was coming from her imagination.

“Hi,” she breathlessly greeted back.

“Uh... Hi... I was...”

Gwyn took in every single fumbled words that came out of his plump lips, ready to listen to him say anything. But he stopped and, for a moment, just stared at her with an intensity that she did not realise matched the way she was looking at him.

“Can I help you?” she asked when the silence stretched, hoping that she hadn’t looked at him like she had never seen a man before. Although she was still not entirely convinced that he wasn’t a manifestation of her fantasies.

The man shook his visible stupor away at her question and offered her a small yet very charming smile.

“I think this is my new apartment.”

Gwyn frowned in puzzlement.

“I’m sure it’s not?” she said like she wasn’t sure at all.

He cocked his head to the side in thought before looking around as though he had dropped something. Then, realising he was already holding it, he held his key up for her to see.

“Isn’t this number 9?”

Gwyn’s frown deepened until realisation struck her harder than a lighting bolt.

“Ah. I see.” Gwyn pursed her lips to hold in a laugh. “May I?”

She extended her hand to the mystery man and motioned to his key with a tilt of her head.

He raised a brow at her. A corner of his lips slowly tugged into a smirk that disappeared a few seconds later. Whether he was trying to consciously school his features or not, Gwyn didn’t know. But she enjoyed the mischief that she had glimpsed for a moment there.

“You may,” he said as he dropped the small object in her open palm.

Gwyn held the key chain up and placed it next to the engraving on the wall with her house’s number on it. She showed him how, in this way, the key chain formed a miniature version of the engraving, with the design being the exact same, except for the 6 of her house number which didn’t match the 9 of his key.

His eyes darted between the engraving and the key, and to the redhead who was playfully wiggling her eyebrows at him. Then he laughed, his rich voice so beautiful that Gwyn imagined it would be impossible to ever tire of hearing it. And when she laughed with him, she found that she very much liked the harmony that their two voices created.

“I’m sorry.” He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “That was very dumb of me.”

“I’ll give you that. It was,” she said with a shrug.

The man eyed Gwyn like he was disappointed that she had so quickly agreed. His expression only pulled another laugh out of Gwyn.

“Yours is the one over there.” She pointed at the hallway behind him. To the second door down to her left. “Next to the wall lamp.”

He look there before turning back to her. Gwyn dangled his key in front of him.

“You won’t get my home just yet but you’ll get to be my neighbour.”

She found herself curious as to what kind of neighbour mister handsome here would be. Would they come across each other at random hours of the day and night as they went about their lives?

The smile that brightened his face was more disarming than any that Gwyn had ever seen.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, neighbour.” He extended a hand to her.

“I’m Gwyneth. Or just Gwyn.”

She shook his offered hand with the same one that she still held his key. He took it with him as he slowly, almost reluctantly, pulled his hand away.

“I’m Azriel. Or just... Azriel.”

He cleared his throat and adjusted the helmet he carried under his left arm. Gwyn smiled.

“Alright. Just Azriel.”

They stood there in silence for a while. Their gazes locked, their hands fidgeting with whatever they carried. Gwyn was here and somewhere else at the same time. His body, his face, his voice, his mere presence stirred something in her. It was thrilling and also...intimidating.

He was like a mystery that was yet to be unfold. A story that needed to be written. Gwyn sensed in her writer’s heart that his could be one with pain and pleasure, ire and love. His eyes were a window through which she wanted to dive into his soul and learn all of his secrets. She also wanted to know what kind of man he could be in his most caring or vulnerable state.

Knowing a person in such a deep, all encompassing way was almost impossible. But perhaps, Gwyn wondered as her eyes widened, her version of him could provide her with the answers she sought.

“I – ”

“I – ”

“I should – ”

“I need to – ”

They both laughed at their synchronicity.

“I should go check my actual apartment.”

“And I should get back to mine. I hope you don’t get lost on your way.”

One of his brows rose. “I will blame your directions if I do.”

Gwyn crossed her arms and scowled at him. But the effect was lost with the smile that threatened to spread on her lips.

She watched him turn around and walk to his apartment. No doubt sensing her eyes still on him after he opened his door, “just Azriel” looked at her again. Gwyn waved at him. He winked, then stepped inside. Without wasting another second, Gwyn closed her own door and rushed to her desk.

Words and images formed in her mind like music flowing out of her imagination; a scene playing out like a musician effortlessly soaring through the notes of their symphony.

Gwyn immersed herself in it and let her hand glide across pages after pages of her notebook. She wrote about the nymph and her intruder, a mysterious male that became more real with every element she discovered about his character.

It might have been luck or sheer coincidence. It might have also been an answer to her hopeless prayers. Gwyn had no time to care. What mattered was that she was now inspired.

[rosella35]

Kaleb's Bad Day: Part I

*clears throat* It's been a while, G/T community!

I don't get as much time for writing anymore with my uni degree in its final years, but this is a one-shot I've been working on for an obnoxious amount of time now based on a prompt I got a while back: What if Kaleb, my borrower character, shrunk in class?

To set the scene since the last time I updated Borrowed Courage was in 2022 *sobs*, Kaleb and Brooke live in a world where the borrower race was discovered 10 years ago and unbeknownst to humankind, many borrowers use a drug called "Upsize" to temporarily grow to human size and blend into society. This one-shot is canon but probably won't be added to the main story for timing reasons. It's set roughly 2 months after Brooke first discovered Kaleb's secret identity as a borrower.

Part II will be up tomorrow - I hope you like!

Content warning: contains angst, swearing and nudity (not graphic).

****

“Alright. For the rest of today, I want you to work independently through the exercises in chapter two of your textbooks. I’ll be floating around if anyone has any burning questions.” Mr Bell instructed the class. From his seat at the back of the room, Kaleb gritted his teeth in frustration. On any other day, he would be more than happy to follow his teacher’s instructions; learning about human history was one of the things he’d enrolled in school for in the first place. From a young age, Kaleb had been fascinated with the way the giants that owned the world had came to be that way, while his kind— the borrowers— had spent their lives hidden away in the shadows. Today, though, he was only half paying attention. Kaleb ran his hands through his scruffy brown hair, finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the incessant pounding that seemed to reverberate all the way from his skull to his fingertips.  

Something was off. 

It wasn’t uncommon or him to be getting headaches from going consecutive days using Upsize, the drug that allowed him to attend human school at five feet nine instead of five inches tall. Even so, they hardly ever set in this early in the week, and were never an issue unless he was moving around too much. This one felt different. It had barely set in twenty minutes ago and was already driving him crazy. With a pained sigh, Kaleb tried to preoccupy himself with opening his textbook to the designated chapter. It felt weird to consider, since borrowers didn’t get sick nearly as often as humans did, but… maybe he was coming down with something.  

From the seat adjacent, Brooke Tucker glanced up from her own work to frown across at him. “Are you good?” She whispered, leaning forward with her hand on her chin. 

Kaleb immediately stiffened, surprised she’d even noticed his discomfort. Am I that obvious? “I don’t know.” He said uneasily. “My head is killing me.” 

The human girl’s brow creased in concern, an expression she rarely ever directed at him. If he weren’t so distracted by the pain, Kaleb probably would’ve been flattered. “Could be a migraine.” She suggested, before adding in a lower voice. “Do borrowers even get those?”

“Yes, we get migraines.” He whispered back, rolling his eyes. Since she’d discovered Kaleb’s true identity back in September, the human girl had made it her mission to find every opportunity to tease and mock him about being a borrower. Still, Kaleb couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something about this particular headache felt familiar. No way. That’s impossible. He dismissed, turning back to his textbook. “It’s probably nothing.” He assured her.

That was when he felt it.

BADUMP. 

A sudden wave of pain reverberated through his body, making him sit bolt upright in his desk like he’d just stepped on a live wire. It was a sensation Kaleb knew all-too-well, because he’d experienced it every afternoon after school for the past four years. 

His Upsize was about to wear off. 

“Shit.” He hissed, feeling the colour drain from his face. His mind reeled, struggling to make sense of why this was even happening. It was like one of his worst nightmares come to life. He should’ve had more time. He always had more time. Had Rodney messed up his dose? 

Kaleb ground his teeth together, forcing himself to focus. There was no time to dwell on the ‘why’. He had to get out of sight, and fast. 

BADUMP.

The room spun as he was hit with another rapid full-body ache, and Kaleb almost collapsed out of his chair. He felt himself start to shiver uncontrollably, the primal fear of being seen overwhelming his senses. “Kaleb, what the hell’s going on with you?” Brooke’s voice echoed somewhere beside him. “You’re making a scene.” 

Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit. Kaleb didn’t have to look up to know that the whole class was staring at him, a tingling feeling that sent his borrower instincts to flee into overdrive. He glanced across at Brooke, gazing unblinking into her judgemental grey-green eyes like they were his lifeline. In that moment, he made a decision.

“Why’re you staring at me like that, it’s creeping me—”

“Come with me.” Kaleb blurted out. 

That was all the warning Brooke got before he’d clamped his hand around her wrist and launched out of his seat, dragging her along behind him. 

“Sorry Mr Bell, we’ll be right back!” He announced in a rush of adrenalin, practically stumbling out the classroom door. Brooke, who had been too bewildered to react to their sudden exit, finally came to her senses as they entered the empty hallway. She ripped her hand out of his grasp, ears reddening in second-hand embarrassment from what had just gone down.

“What the fuck was that about?” She hissed, though her expression shifted to concern when he leaned heavily against the wall several paces in front of her, clutching his head. For the first time, Brooke noticed the raw, unsuppressed fear in his eyes.  

“I can explai—” Kaleb started, but broke off with a startled yelp when he felt the shrinking process finally kick in. He could only catch a glimpse of Brooke’s startled expression before the ground rushed towards him and he was swallowed up by his human clothes that were suddenly hundreds of sizes too big. Within the span of a few seconds, he found himself back at his original five-inch-tall height and buried beneath the course folds of his t-shirt, chest heaving from the lingering adrenalin and body frozen in terror as the reality of his situation dawned. 

Brooke, having witnessed the whole thing, did a double take. “What in the—” One second Kaleb had been standing there in front of her, and the next… Her eyes fell to his unoccupied pile of clothes, and she swore, realising what had just happened. 

“Kaleb? Brooke? Is everything okay with you two?” She froze at the sound of Mr Bell’s voice from inside the classroom, his footsteps growing closer and closer.

Panicking, Brooke scrambled to scoop up the bundle of Kaleb’s clothes, quickly locating the squirming figure buried within, and shoved them behind herself. The second he felt her fingers close around him and lift him blindly into the air, Kaleb’s heart leapt into his throat. He shivered involuntarily, the sensation of powerful human hands around his entire frame serving as a stark reminder of how little control he had over their current situation. All he could do was make himself as small as possible in her grip and trust Brooke to handle things with the teacher. 

“Y-Yep!” The human girl said, turning around just as the Mr Bell poked his head out the classroom door. Her hands tightened protectively around Kaleb’s smaller form under the clothes, feeling his tiny heartbeat flutter like a bird’s against her fingers. She cleared her throat awkwardly in attempt to compose herself. “I mean… actually, Kaleb wasn’t feeling well. He went ahead to the nurses office, but would you mind if I go too? J-Just to make sure he’s okay.” 

The teacher gave her a strange look, and Brooke held her breath, waiting for him to notice the bundle of Kaleb’s clothes behind her back and effectively blow her cover story. After a moment though, Mr Bell’s expression softened to concern. “Oh, of course you can.” He said with a nod. “I hope he feels better soon. Don’t worry about missing the rest of the lesson. I’ll email the two of you supplementary work later today.”

She managed a strained smile. “Thank you.” 

The moment he disappeared back inside, Brooke took off down the hall, her mind stalling on what she was supposed to do next. There was no way she could actually take Kaleb to the nurses office without exposing him, and it would be too suspicious if she just up and left the building in the middle of class. She cursed. There was really only one place that would give the two of them some privacy, which made her uncomfortable even thinking about, but Brooke didn’t really have a choice. 

Resigned to her fate, she made beeline for the girl’s bathroom. 

Locking herself inside a cubicle, Brooke let out a relieved sigh. She sat down heavily on the closed seat of the toilet, turning her attention to the bundle of Kaleb’s human clothes in her lap and the tiny muffled voice she could suddenly hear through the fabric. “Can’t breathe—!”

Eyes widening, Brooke loosened her hold around the clothes. It seemed silly now, but in her haste to get to somewhere private, she’d almost forgotten that Kaleb had been with her the whole time, buried underneath the layers of denim and cotton.  She was about to reach in to try and pull him out, when she realised that somewhere amongst the folded material, Kaleb was not only borrower-sized but naked. Face heating up at the thought, Brooke sat back against the toilet and cleared her throat awkwardly. “Okay, you’re safe to come out. We’re alone.” 

Sure enough, it wasn’t long after she’d spoken that Brooke noticed a miniature head of scruffy brown hair poking out through the of one of the t-shirt sleeves as Kaleb revealed himself at last. He blinked rapidly in the harsh fluorescent lighting, scrambling to cover himself with his blanket-like clothes. Without his usual shirt and tan jacket combo, he seemed almost smaller than usual, his bare shoulders slim and pale and his breaths short and fast. Fragile was the first word that came to mind. Intuitively, Brooke knew that compared to humans, borrowers really were fragile and vulnerable, but those were never words she’d associated with Kaleb. Now though, he wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that his entire body trembled like a scared animal in her hands. 

That didn’t stop her from glaring daggers at him. “What the fuck, Kaleb!” She hissed. “You almost gave me a heart attack!” 

Kaleb flinched instinctively, his hazel eyes shooting up to meet her now much larger grey ones. Brooke’s angry expression faltered. Shit. He looked terrified— even more so than the time she’d found him on the apartment roof all those weeks ago. She swallowed, turning away uncomfortably. That look in his eyes… It didn’t suit him at all. 

The two of them didn’t speak for several minutes, awkward silence permeating the cubicle. Kaleb took that time to try and compose himself, his full-body tremors slowly dissipating as he tried to calm his pounding heart. It wasn’t easy to do by any means, but he appreciated Brooke’s patience. Finally finding his voice, he tilted his head to meet her eyes. 

“S-Sorry.” He said, holding the material of his shirt around his nude frame with white knuckled hands. He licked his dry lips. “No one saw… did they?”

Brooke sighed, making a conscious effort to shift to a gentler tone of voice. Now probably wasn’t the time for their usual teasing banter. “No.” She reassured him. “Just me.” 

Kaleb visibly relaxed at that, minuscule shoulders slumping under the thick material of his shirt. “Thank god.” He breathed, almost too quiet for her to make out. So he hadn’t been seen by anyone else in the class. Just knowing that was enough to ease a significant portion of his built up anxiety. With a clearer head, Kaleb finally paused to take in his surroundings, and his jaw immediately dropped when he caught sight of a toilet roll as long as he was tall. “What the—” He exclaimed, looking up at her with an aghast expression. “Is this the girl’s bathroom—?!” 

Brooke held back a snort as his tiny face turned beet red with embarrassment. Much more like the Kaleb she knew. “You didn’t exactly give me much time to think of a better place to go.” She pointed out, sitting up straighter on the toilet seat. “And while we’re on that topic, what the hell happened to you? Isn’t your wonder drug supposed to last the whole day?” 

Kaleb flinched at that and peered down at his smaller form, pathetically dwarfed by the clothes that had fit him perfectly less than ten minutes ago. Already, without the disguise that was his human height, he was starting to feel like the fraud he was; just another borrower trying and failing to carry himself with the same level of confidence and liberty as a human. “I-I don’t know.” He mumbled. “Maybe my uncle messed up the dose.” He wrapped the the fabric of his shirt sleeve tighter around himself, feeling more exposed than ever. “This has never happened to me before.” 

“Clearly.” Brooke said. “If I hadn’t been there to cover for you, you’d’ve been screwed for sure.” 

She felt him shiver at that fact, almost making her regret her choice of words. “You’re right.” Kaleb looked up at her again, his expression earnest. “Thank you, Brooke. Really.” 

Brooke blinked. That was unexpected. She shifted in her seat and looked away, hoping he wouldn’t notice her blush. With their current size difference, that was unlikely. “I-It’s fine.” She said. “So, uh… what now, then? Do you have any more Upsize you can take?” 

Kaleb pursed his lips. “I don’t keep any spare pills at school.” He admitted quietly, shuddering again despite the course fabric around him. “With Upsize, you need to wait at least an hour after shrinking before you can take another dose. It’s supposed to give the medicine a chance to leave your system, kind of like a cool-down period.”

“Right, of course that’s a thing.” Brooke sighed. She tried racking her brain for an alternative solution. “Well then, can someone come get you? Surely Evie would. I bet she’s bored out of her mind back at the apartment without having me to spy on.” 

Instead of laughing at her poor attempt at a joke, Kaleb looked horrified. “I can’t just leave early!” He exclaimed. “I’ll miss maths next period. Mrs Crowley said she’d be giving out final exam tips today!” 

Brooke couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re kidding.” She started, holding back a disbelieving laugh. Looking closer at his tiny, pleading features though, her smile faded. “You’re not kidding.” She deadpanned, groaning. “Come on, Kaleb. How the fuck are you supposed to come to class like this? You don’t even have any clothes!”

Kaleb’s cheeks heated up and he pulled the shirt sleeve a little tighter around himself as he was reminded of his current nudity. “I can get clothes.” He insisted, his usual confident demeanour returning in full force. “I have a spare set in my locker. Climbing gear, too.” 

Brooke would have face palmed herself if her hands weren’t still cupped around his tiny frame. She regarded him quizzically. “Well that’s great, but isn’t your whole thing supposed to be not getting seen by the rest of the class?” 

Kaleb shook his head. “I don’t have to actually come to class. You could just, y’know, let me off into the air vent and I can listen in from there.” He suggested, giving her a clumsy shrug from amongst the bundle of clothes. 

Brooke just stared down at him, completely lost for words. “You’re crazy.” She muttered. “You’re actually fucking crazy. You literally almost shrunk in front of our whole class, and now you want me to just let you go off into the walls so you can catch some stupid exam tips?” 

“Brooke.” 

She didn’t hear him, her voice rising in annoyance as she continued. “And then what? Am I supposed to just stay back and look for you after class, like that’s totally not suspicious at all?!”

“Brooke.” 

“Ugh!” She wanted so badly to bang her head into the cubicle door. “Why do I even get myself into these situations? I swear, ever since I found out about you and your stupid little secret, my life’s been a fucking disaster—!”

“BROOKE!”

She broke off with a start at his exclamation, caught off guard by how loud he’d managed to sound despite his obvious disadvantage in size. Brooke bit her lip, breathing heavily through her nose. She almost jumped when she felt a slight pressure on her thumb. Kaleb had reached out to touch it with his much smaller hand, stroking the digit in attempt to reassure her. “You good?” He asked. 

“Y-Yeah.” Brooke replied weakly, her mouth dry. She didn’t want to say anything but the feeling of his tiny hand on her finger felt so… weird. Kaleb almost never initiated physical contact with her when he was borrower-sized.  

He nodded, meeting her eyes again. “I’m sorry.” He said with obvious embarrassment. “I got a bit ahead of myself there. I guess I just thought you’d want me out of your hair so you could get back to class. If you can help me to my locker, I’ll call Evie to come pick me up, and I’ll just email Mrs Crowley about the exam later.” 

Brooke sighed at his words, a much simpler solution coming to mind that she was probably crazy for even suggesting. “Or you could just come with me.” She pointed out, the corner of her mouth twitching in amusement when he blinked up at her. “What? Did you forget we have the same maths class?” 

“Come… with you?” Kaleb repeated, looking thoroughly unconvinced. “As in, on your person? Where would I even go—?” His broke off, eyes trailing upwards to the chest pocket of her oversized denim jacket at the same time hers did. His face lost several shades of colour, and he shook his head firmly, despite knowing deep down that he might not have any say in the matter. “No way. No way. I’m not gonna sit in your pocket all day like some house pet, Brooke! That’s just… that’s just embarrassing!” 

The human girl smirked down at him. “Well, would it be any more embarrassing than being tiny and naked in the girl’s bathroom?” Her hand inched up to ruffle his hair teasingly. “I mean, unless you’re secretly a pervert?” 

Kaleb swiped at her already retreating digit. “I’m not a pervert!” He snapped, pointing his own diminutive finger up at her accusingly. “You brought me here, not the other way around!”  

“Relax, I’m just messing with you.” She giggled. “You’re always so easy to work up like this.” 

Kaleb bristled. “Yeah, well can you blame me? When I’m like this, there’s five extra feet of you to piss me off!”

“Fair point.” Brooke smirked. “So, what’s it gonna be then?” Her hands edged closer around him, as she impatiently tapped her foot against the tiles. “I can’t just keep sitting on the toilet for the rest of the day.”

Kaleb sighed, turning his gaze downwards in defeat. He had to admit she was right about that. Stalling was only prolonging what they both knew had to come next. “Fine. I’ll come to class with you.” He hesitated. “Just… can we please get my clothes first?” 

Brooke looked at him, shock evident on her face. Did he really believe that she wouldn’t let him get changed? It was humbling to think that with Kaleb like this, without his bag or climbing gear, he was essentially putting his life and his autonomy in her hands. Just knowing that made Brooke soften her voice ever so slightly. “Um, yeah, of course. There’s no way you’re coming with me in the nude. That’s fucked up.” 

Kaleb breathed a sigh of relief at her reassurance, offering a grateful smile. “Okay… Well, in the meantime, could you grab me a piece of toilet paper? To cover up, I mean.” 

Brooke blinked, glancing across at the roll beside her. Hesitantly, she tore off a small strip of toilet paper between her thumb and index finger and handed it down to him. Kaleb took it, ducking under his sleeve for a moment to tie it around his waist like a towel. He looked down at his handiwork, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’ll do.” He muttered to himself, letting the oversized shirt sleeve fall away so that he was standing at his full five-inch height in her cupped hands.  

Despite herself, Brooke almost did a double take when she saw his bare chest for the first time. There was no denying it; Kaleb was ripped. The thought had never occurred to her, but considering his active lifestyle, she really shouldn’t have been as caught off guard as she was. A little more of a tan, and he could’ve belonged in a body building magazine. She tore her eyes away before he caught her staring, but that didn’t stop her cheeks from heating up. 

She coughed. “Right. Ready to go then?”

“That depends.” Kaleb smirked knowingly. There was really no way he could have missed a stare that size. He took a bold step forward in her cupped hands and flexed his muscles tauntingly. “Did you want a closer look?” 

“W-What?”

“Who’s the pervert now, huh?” He teased, throwing the label right back at her.

“Shut up!” In that embarrassment-riddled moment, Brooke reacted in the only way she could think of. She poked Kaleb harshly in the chest. Like always, he staggered backwards with a yelp at the impact, but this time neither of them had taken proper stock of their surroundings. As if in slow-motion, Kaleb tripped over the folded clothing behind him, simultaneously jostling free the poorly secured knot holding up his toilet paper toga. All hope of modesty gone, he fell flat on his back with his legs gracelessly splayed… within full view of the human girl holding him. 

The two of them stared at each other in silent shock for several seconds, and Brooke wished she could bleach her eyeballs. Instead, she opted for the next best course of action.

“AHHHH!”

[juliasdowntonstuff]

My dearest Darling, Chapter 66

(ao3 here)

This is it. The last chapter. Thank you to every single one of you reading this. This story has been a part of my life for almost a full year, arguably the worst one I ever had, and at times writing this was all I could do to put my thoughts in order and keep me going. Thank you to those who commented, reviewed, and even reached out. It truly means the world to me.

I will be back eventually with other one-shots and stories, but likely nothing of this extent. Until then, all that is left for me to say is once again: thank you.

as usual, there is a sneak peek of this chapter under the cut

It was going to be a bleak day he thought as he stood near the window of his dressing room. Looking through the slightly frosted glass pane, he saw nothing but greys and browns and other dull colours; even the grass seemed grey, glistening in the little light from the chill of the night barely passed. The trees were still bare with not a single leaf in sight, and big, dark clouds shrouded the sky. He couldn't help but feel like the outside world in his direct view was a mirrored image of how he had been feeling for the last few months, maybe even years.

There had been exceptions, of course. There had been good days and even a few good weeks — but at large, grey had been the prevalent hue equivalent to his emotional state, if someone were to ask him about things like that which was about as likely to happen as Mary and Tony Gillingham picking back up where they left off years ago.

Still, something about this mundane view had him enthralled, he could not turn around and away to ring for Bates, he hadn't for the better part of an hour already. For whatever reason, he had woken up at the crack of dawn, long before his wife's alarm would ring to wake them up, and when all his efforts of trying to fall asleep again had been for nought, he had quietly grabbed his dressing gown and sneaked out of the room. He had wanted to pull on the cord to call for his trusted valet first thing to make use of this unplanned early wake-up and get ahead on some pending correspondence, but then his gaze had gone out the window and down the drive and it had stayed there ever since. In just over twelve hours, the drive would once again be used by quite a number of cars driving up and down, the chauffeurs stopping near the entryway to let their masters and mistresses disembark. It was going to be chaotic but in a good way. It had been a long while since they had hosted a grand dinner like this, there simply had been no reason and no opportunity. And frankly, none of them had felt like doing so.

But this. This was different. Today was different. Today, they would celebrate. And by all means, they had a reason. Forty years of marriage. Forty. Two-thirds of their lives spent together. That number alone was staggering to him every time he thought about it, which was quite often.

She was the one who knew him better than anyone else, and he'd like to think he knew her, too. Maybe not as well as she knew him, he was aware he was still a donk most of the time, but they still had shared forty years of their lives, getting to know and love one another. This jubilee was one he had not seen in any of their futures just a little more than a year ago, but today he would get to dance with her through the night, and by all means, he'd do that for as long as either of them would be able to. And that was a real reason to celebrate.

[ryuzakemo128]

I want to be something

Content Warning: Implication of masterbation.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x You (Female Reader)

Summary: You're in a creative rut, you don't want to do much of anything, and the entire day is spent trying to get inspired by something or someone.

Your job was taxing enough how it is, when inspiration took hold, a lot of other things were left behind and taking care of yourself. You bought a caravan last month, you were going to decorate it in the hopes it would spark something new for your work. You didn't want to live in a trailer, in your mind it would become a last resort, not the first one.

Not only that, but you met Eddie when you were studying for your final exams, it was his second time held back in grade 12. You two couldn't be far more different, he was the life of the party, you were the one who hid in the corner. You were a trad goth, make up dark like the ace of spaces, your outfits dark and flowy, your hair black as night. Eddie, on the other hand, was a metalhead, leather jacket, denim vest, passion for Dungeons & Dragons.

You were keen on straightening out your curly hair for a short while. Trying to fit in without trying to fit in at the same time. Confusing to yourself just like it confused everyone else around you. When you were touching up your black eyeliner in front of your locker mirror, you heard a familiar voice. You pretended you did not hear it and continued to apply your make-up. You didn't want someone to interrupt what you were doing because your train of thought would be lost in the wind like a piece of crêpe paper at a festival.

After a while the voice got louder, the louder it got, the closer it was, sooner or later you wouldn't be able to ignore it anymore. Putting on a dark crimson red lip liner on your two toned rose-tinted plump lips. Before adding an ebony coloured lipstick to create a vampire-like look. Finally, you put on your favourite black lace choker, the one that made your neck look pale and fragile. You felt ready to face the world again. You took a deep breath and put your make-up back into your bag.

When you turned around, you were met with a familiar sight. Eddie, leaning against the lockers, hands in his pockets, his long dark hair falling into his face, as he looked at you with those piercing chocolate brown eyes. His lips curved up into a smile. Eddie thought, 'Well, well, look who decided to grace us with their 'presence'.

You hesitated for a moment, not sure how to react. You hadn't expected to see him here. "Oh, hey Eddie," you said, trying to sound casual. "What are you doing here?"

Eddie smiled wider. "Just waiting for my next class, why? Were you expecting someone else?"

"Pfft, why would I?" You weren't going to admit that you were heading to the library to study during lunch. Why would you?

Eddie chuckled. "Well, you know, just making sure I wasn't interrupting anything important."

"Studying is important." You murmured slightly, looking back down at your phone in your hands, even though it was off. You'd rather stare at the blank screen than make eye contact with him. "But it's not like anyone cares if I'm here or not." You shrugged, making it look like you didn't care.

Eddie chuckled again. "Oh, come on, you know I'm just messing with you. So, really, what are you doing here? I'm sure there's a more interesting reason than just studying."

"I have reached possible creative burnout." You simply stated, it was the truth. You had been trying to get started on the renovation of your caravan. But every time you went there, you just couldn't focus. "I can't get into the headspace. It's like my creative juices are dried up."

Eddie raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I see. So, you're saying you're not here to study?" He teased.

"Studying has helped before, so why wouldn't it help now?" You protested.

Eddie laughed, shaking his head. "You're too hard on yourself. Maybe you should take a break from it all, you know? Clear your head, do something different."

"I've already tried getting high last night. So, that didn't work either." You said. It made him laugh. "What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh," he said, wiping a tear from his eye. "It's just… I never pictured you as the kind of person who would do drugs."

"I don't do them willy-nilly, you know? It was a one-time thing." You admitted. "Anyway, thanks for the advice. Maybe I'll take a break and try something different today. I just need to find something to spark my creativity again. Maybe I just need a hot bath."

Eddie laughed. "A hot bath? Really? That's your plan for sparking creativity?"

"Well it wouldn't just be a hot bath either." You answered, the suggestive note of possibly touching yourself made your cheeks heat up. If he didn't get the hint, then there was no way you could spell it out for him.

[Eddie's Point of view]

Eddie thought, 'Oh, so that's where her mind goes. Not that I blame her, but I didn't expect that kind of honesty from her. Maybe I should have. It's just… interesting.' "Here's my number, if you ever need someone to talk to or just… you know." He hesitated, his cheeks flushing slightly.

"Or not. It's up to you." He shrugged, trying to play it off casually. "Anyway, I should get going. My next class is about to start." He glanced at his watch, then back at her.

She nodded, feeling a little flustered. "Yeah, you should. Thanks for the advice, though."

Eddie smiled, giving you a small wave as he walked away. You watched him go, feeling a strange mixture of emotions. Part of you was glad that he didn't seem to be interested in anything more than friendship, but another part of you couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. You hadn't expected him to be interested in you romantically, but still… it was kind of nice to think about.

My other stuff: Masterlist 01 / Masterlist 02 / Vikings Masterlist

Divider Used: Link

Header Used: Link

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Surprise for my beloved

Winston x girlfriend!reader

warning: fluff, kiss, no idea if army training is really like that, no use of Y/n

summary : Winston and his girlfriend are both in the military, and even though he was trained as a sniper because of his outstanding abilities, his girlfriend ended up in the regular units, where they were apparently treated even worse than the regular recruits. A day full of training, mud, bullet wounds and exhaustion lay ahead of her, but when she returns home, a surprise awaits her…

info: Oh yes Winston our favourite sniper, even if I don't feel the cover really, it is what it is. Have fun reading for the cute boy :)

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What had she thought of when she signed the document together with Winston, just a few months after they had finished school for good?

That's right, they hadn't thought about it, and the devil had it in for them because they somehow needed a job that would bring in some money and maybe let them travel around a bit.

Since they were both terrible at driving trucks and long-distance haulage was therefore out of the question and everything else was too boring for them, they went to the first army recruitment centre they came across and signed up.

They had considered this together over a beer and a horror film while the menu music from Mario was playing in the background.

,,Let's become soldiers," it simply blurted out of her as she looked at the DOOM packaging lying scattered on the floor and heard the muttering agreement of Winston, who was stuffing his face with crisps. Their shared naivety and sense of humour would become their profession, or at least the beginning of it, as they lived their lives as soldiers of America.

Even though this beginning was actually quite funny, they were aware that they were on the same training ground, and they both completed the basic training together.

They made friends, received punishments together, and ended up with painful muscle cramps, but they all found sneaking out and eating pizza together worthwhile.

The day came when they were all assigned to different units. ,,You know we're in this together," he assured her, leaning slightly towards her and briefly squeezing her hand before she felt a brief kiss on her cheek before the shouting of their superior continued to echo through the ranks.

Until, however, it came to nothing, as the two looked at each other in amazement and he was assigned to the snipers and she, with horror and annoyance, was given the ID of a normal soldier.

,,This can't be true," she said, keeping her voice down, she didn't want to make things worse and felt two arms wrap around her immediately and he pressed against him, ,,I'll try to fix it, sweetheart," he said, stroking her back, but they both knew that in the coming war situation, such transfers were hardly possible.

They would need her in the ground units and above all, Winston would be her shield in the air in secret, he would watch over her and help her to eliminate the opponents in such a way that it would be her and not otherwise.

And yet it seemed as if they would be separated from each other forever.

This had happened a few months ago, and while Winston had found favour in a unit of his own and was even paired with a legend, whom he always talked about enthusiastically, she found herself lying on the dirty floor more and more often, shocked and shot with hard rubber bullets, almost every day.

,,Do you know what I look like? Like a bouncy ball that you've thrown against a wall too often," she grumbled, and saw Winston suppress his laughter because his day looked completely different from hers.

His was much more relaxed, besides the usual close combat training, in the first instance he actually shot at targets from a distance all the time and was not thrown around.

,,But you're my pretty bouncy ball, whether you have colourful spots or not, I promise," he replied and got up from the bed to go over to her, where she was standing in her pyjamas and he stroked over the colourful injuries and left kisses on them.

Even though the gesture was cute, her body still ached and she had another day ahead of her before they all had a few days off for a couple of superior orders.

It was at least the hope that remained as she turned to Winston and ran her hand through his hair, soft and fluffy it had always been and even now he still had the same gentle look in his eyes.

Moving her hand from his hair to his cheek she saw his smirk, he smiled curtly before kissing her palm and pulling her close, ,,Tomorrow will be a better evening I promise sweetie" she heard him say as she was just glad that she had him, that he was supporting her and that at least now they were still together.

But the said it will be better tomorrow seemed to be something completely different as first she was the punching bag for new holds and punches and soon she was on the floor more than ten times.

Then through the muddy mess where she slipped and landed with her whole body in a puddle and as if all that wasn't enough extra leg supports because her team had lost in the simulation in case of emergency.

Groaning, grumbling and wiping away her frustration, she had left the other ebriets to go back to her room Tomorrow will be better yes of course what a joke she thought grumbling and took off her helmet which was still making her head ache as she turned into her floor.

Walking into her room looking up from her helmet she was slightly startled when she noticed not only a sweet smell, relaxing music playing in the background.

She saw a pyjama-clad Winston holding a plate of pancakes, popcorn, strawberries and syrup, ,,Welcome back my love I told you it would get better” he greeted her and put the plate down in front of her before pulling her into a hug.

Instead of smelling like dirt and sweat, the brown-haired man smelled sweet vanilla as if he had prepared a lot more, ,,That's so sweet of you, thank you,” she thanked him and pressed a kiss to his nose before she looked down at herself and sighed.

,,I'm going to eat the pancakes with you in ten minutes, can you wait that long?” she asked, knowing that if she sat on the bed with the dirt she could buy a new one.

But even now he seemed to have something prepared when he grinned and opened the door in the small bathroom to reveal a 'tub' made of a large metal tub filled with warm water and foam, she couldn't help but laugh and look at the further surprise, ,,It was actually meant to be a target for me when I was shooting and I got it that way.

Hop in and enjoy the massage to come,” he instructed, pointing to the bubbles when she didn't need to be told twice and got rid of her clothes before she climbed into the pleasantly warm water just moments later, which did wonders for her muscles alone and only got better when she felt his hands on her shoulders and he slowly massaged her.

,,Thank you,” she whispered, relaxing and grateful that maybe he had come to the snipers after all if it meant she would be greeted like this every night with a warm bath, a sweet pancake and a sweet boyfriend who was the best you could have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@angelsanarchy , @starry-eyed-wild-child , @cyb3rrdani