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coolcattime · 2 years ago

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Home and Free: Chapter Three - That's Not a Nightingale

Characters: Captain Capsize, Sonja Firefox, Skipper Redbeard, Jordan Captainsparklez, Tucker Jericho, Tom Syndicate, Martha the Mystic, Mot Screziato, Alyssa Countybat, Waglington, Farmer Steve, Prince Andor, Jeriah, Lady Ianite (mentioned)

Relationship: Captain Capsize/Sonja Firefox, Captain Capsize/Jordan Captainsparklez (onesided)

AO3 Link

Full Story Tag

There were still a good few hours before the sun was due to set as Redbeard was hooking up their horse, Phillipe, to the cart that he had now safely loaded up. Enough light left that the first leg of the journey would be doable, but also close enough to dark that he knew Capsize would worry. It was silly, he had made the journey enough times to know that it was safe, and she was the one that plotted his route so surely, she knew in her head that it was safe and straightforward, but still every time she worried. Since he couldn’t exactly stop her from doing so, he had taken it as a positive, a sign that she truly would miss him if he disappeared forever, rather than her just thinking he’ll get himself into trouble in even the simplest of situations.

“We’re not going to get into trouble, are we boy?” He said with a laugh to Phillipe. He could swear as the animal snorted, it was actually sighing attempting to respond in opposition. The traitor always agreed with Capsize, and frankly he thinks she bribes him. Though, of course, that was silly. Their horse didn’t really have a complex opinion on the two, but Redbeard spent enough time alone with him that he possibly personified him a little too much. That did pose the question as to why he thought he typically agreed with Capsize rather than himself, but he was going to use his better judgement and not think too deeply about that. “Bit of a bigger load than last time. Shouldn’t be too heavy for you, but we’ll figure out more rest stops if it is.”

He took the whinnying as approval as he tested that the ropes and straps attached to the harness were properly secured. He wanted to figure out a few more rest stops anyway, for when he and Capsize could finally move from this town. There would still be the possibility of her not being able to ride for very long, after all. Her leg had been healing well, she rarely needed the pain relief tinctures anymore and she clearly walked more than she had in the first few months after the accident, but he had some doubt that she’d be able to ride for as long as he typically did between rest stops. So, even if that was just a feeling, he'd need to figure out a few more stops for the route, even if just for a temporary pause rather than a camp. And figuring it out on the next few trips would be far preferable to having to do it while travelling with Capsize.

Thinking of Capsize, he wondered how her task had been going. While retrieving the sellable items from the cellar that they had been using as a workshop, she had been at her worktable tinkering away at the lockbox, occasionally muttering what he was sure were curses under her breath. Of course, he’d tried to assure her she didn’t need to fix it, but she’d batted him away with a playful reassurance of having it handled. And, of course, he had no doubts that she did, but he would need to leave soon. He didn’t want that to be without probably saying goodbye, but he had a half-hearted worry that if she was not finished, she may try and insist he stay until she was. He honestly had no idea if this was a situation where her stubbornness would win out or her logical side of not wanting him to either be late or travel in the dark would, nor if he’d have the heart to argue with either decision. But he couldn’t just stand about waiting for her to possibly emerge.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” He said to Phillipe, who seemed overall neutral about the man walking away. The horse was already paying far more attention to the sparse grass on the road. Redbeard walked off the road onto the small path in their garden that looped around their house to the cellar door. However, he would not actually make it inside before his attention was caught by a call.

“Redbeard! Glad I managed to catch you!” Jordan called out from the bottom of the path. He had cleaned himself up since his late morning meeting with Capsize. Though he still carried his bow, he had sold his prey of the day, no longer carrying them from his belt, and he had also changed most of his clothes. The only thing he was wearing from earlier in the day was his long red coat, which he was rarely seen without. Yes, from his clothes to his hair to his general stance, Jordan had put enough into looking good at this particular moment. He hadn’t fully dressed up, this wasn’t his proposal after all, but he looked far more cleaned up than he typically would in the late afternoon. Redbeard noticed the oddity and was unsure what to make of it as he approached the man. He certainly got along with the champion far better than Capsize, but he couldn’t help but be slightly weary considering his sister’s words about the man earlier in the day.

“Well, you got here just in time,” He said, well-practiced in hiding uncertainty beneath a smile and a good demeanour. For Jordan to want to see him right before he left town, it was unusual but not out of the question. Typically, he would see the man more casually, going to the tavern for a few drinks, but he did on occasion see him before leaving to ask for things from the city. Despite how the champion seemed quite happy within the town, he, like everyone, occasionally wanted things unavailable in such an isolated place and Redbeard was more than happy to bring them up for him. But he didn’t think that was the current reason for him being here. He looked, somewhat uncharacteristically, nervous. “Must be something important, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look nervous.”

“It’s pretty important, yes,” He said, wishing his nerves were not so obvious. He had no reason to think this wasn’t going to go his way, and yet he couldn’t shake them. The siblings were extremely close, that’s the reason he was doing this, but it also meant if this went wrong his chances with Capsize could be snuffed. Though, of course, that wouldn’t happen, he just needed to get the words out. “I’d… I’d like your blessing to marry Capsize.”

“Huh?” He almost thought he was hearing things because the request had come out of absolutely nowhere. And worse, as it dawned on him that he had in fact heard correctly, he had no idea how he was meant to respond to the request. He liked Jordan well-enough, from what he could tell he was nice enough, and he certainly didn’t want to upset the lad, but he also knew his sister couldn’t stand him. She avoided saying so through words, skirting the issue as best she could, but she was not a good liar. Her, what he was going to charitably call annoyance, shone through every time she talked about the man. Yet, somehow, he wanted to marry her. Had he just stepped into another universe? “You want to marry Capsize?”

“Yes! I’ve never met a woman as perfect as she is,” Redbeard barely managed to hold back a laugh, not wanting to disparage the man who seemed to be expressing genuine feelings. But his description of Capsize versus her own of him a few hours earlier was tickling. Of course, it was less funny considering she had occasionally complained of him not seeing her as a person, and his description of her as ‘perfect’, but he tried to quell that concern as each one just misunderstanding the other. Still, he had no idea how exactly he should respond. He could give his blessing, but as soon as Capsize found out she’d be pissed, which was something he didn’t particularly want to deal with or found particularly fair for either party. Jordan could feel his hesitation, setting a worry in him that felt wrong. There was no reason he could see that he would say no. He’d built a friendship with him, not hard when he could get discounted drinks at the tavern, and even he had to be able to see how perfect he and Capsize were for each other. “I’ll treat her as brilliantly as she deserves, she’ll never want for anything. I just, I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”

“I’m not doubting that I just… Well, I’m not going to stop you. If you can get Capsize to agree, obviously you can marry her,” Redbeard felt like that was a pretty big if given that she barely wanted to talk to him, let alone enter a committed relationship with the man. However, Jordan’s face lit up and he felt a twinge of guilt. Both men had a very different vision of how a proposal to Capsize would go, and though neither knew what the other was thinking, Redbeard could not imagine Jordan was picturing the sort of disaster he was. There was absolutely no way she was going to say yes, that was so clear to him, but he didn’t exactly want to say that. It felt undermining to his sister to say what he thought she would do, even if he was sure he’d get an earful of complaints from her later. Also, he was leaving so he didn’t have time for a half an hour conversation explaining to Jordan that Capsize didn’t like him.

“You won’t regret this! You’ll see when you get back, we’re going to be the perfect couple!” Jordan said, forgetting he had ever been nervous about the situation. He had her brother’s approval, which meant he didn’t need to worry about any sudden rug pull after the man returned that would sour the start of his marriage. He had to start preparing the proposal, make it as great as Capsize would expect from him. So, he rushed off, intending to see how Tucker was coming along with his side of the preparations.

Redbeard, now left alone walking back towards the cellar, contemplated if he had just made a massive mistake. He didn’t want to say no. He both didn’t want to start an argument and didn’t particularly want to act like he could forbid his sister from doing something, but he felt a little like he had taken anyway her scapegoat for whenever she was confronted by the proposal. Maybe, he thought, he should warn her about it, tell her before it was a shock. But what good would that really do? She’d just get annoyed, since she certainly wasn’t going to feel able to confront the man about it, and she was already routinely stressed enough. They certainly weren’t currently in a relationship, so if they weren’t even dating, so he assumed that a proposal had to be a while away. Plenty of time to warn Capsize and get her prepared for that disaster once he got back. He had no idea how wrong that assumption was.

Before he had time to think any more on the situation, the cellar doors opened in front of him, Capsize emerging with a smile. He could only feel relieved that she had not exited half a minute earlier, as he could not imagine how that would’ve gone. Yes, he decided, perhaps against his better judgement, that he was going to keep his conversation with Jordan a secret. No point souring their last few minutes together for the next few weeks. He much preferred leaving on a positive note. And she looked happy, how could he spoil that? The reason for the joy on her features became clear as day as in her left hand she held up, wrapped in a semi-transparent fabric, was the lockbox.

“You fixed it!” He said, not intending to sound so surprised. She fixed trinkets all the time, it was literally her job. However, she had never done it so fast, nor on something quite so explosive, but that wasn’t a reason to doubt her abilities. If she ever got such a notion from him, she wouldn’t appreciate it. Not that he would dream of doing such a thing, she was far more competent than him and he was quite okay with that. He knew the moment they were out of this town, she’d be in charge of the market stuff too, and he was honestly just looking forward to her being the captain again. It was not that he particularly minded being in charge, he just felt like it should be Capsize.

“Pretty sure I have! Just leave the fabric on, I think the glyphs are resetting when they’re touched,” She said as she handed it over to him carefully. She couldn’t say for sure that was the problem, magic was mysterious and annoying after all, but it was her best guess as to why the object had decided to once again explode that morning. She almost wished she had more time to figure out the mechanics, almost. Mostly she was glad to see the thing gone. The twinge of sadness as she handed it over was not due to losing the box, but rather the fact that this was it. He was leaving for another three weeks. Obviously, he’d be back, and it would be faster than she expected, but she never quite got used to being alone, to this town where it seemed that no one really understood her nor wanted to.

“Well, I’ll do my best to find someone who wants the devil box,” He said with a laugh, attempting to hide his own sadness about leaving. He didn’t need to show that, it was better to not make her worry anymore than she was already going to. He appreciated her worrying, it meant that she missed him, though she always claimed it was because she didn’t like him being alone with his run of luck. But he knew it was because she missed him, after all she trusted the routes she planned to be safe, she just didn’t want to admit such a thing. Not that he had ever asked, but he could tell these sorts of things, some people just had their feelings written on their face. And yes, he was correct. Capsize knew she was going to miss him dreadfully and the worry was coming in waves with all the possible reasons he might never return circling through her brain.

“Have you got everything?” She asked as the two began to walk towards the cart. She knew she didn’t really need to ask the question. As focused as she had been on the lockbox, she hadn’t missed him carrying the boxed-up trinkets and furniture pieces out of the cellar. And while there was now a tarp covering the loaded-up cart, she knew from a quick look around herself before exiting that he hadn’t missed anything. She just wanted him here a little longer, and that was the only thing she could ask. He didn’t need to change as he had packed his nicer clothes for when he arrived, and he had on a thick enough coat for a journey that would take him through autumn nights, the long green one that he had had for so long yet still didn’t look worn despite everything. And she sincerely doubted he had forgotten to pack the saddle bags currently on Phillipe.

“Of course, but I can check again if you’d like,” He said, knowing that a couple of checks had never done any harm. Capsize, however, quickly shook her head.

“No, I trust you,” She said without any hesitation in the statement, though her words still sounded a little unsure. She wanted him to not leave for as long as possible, but logically she knew such a thing was silly. There wasn’t time to keep him here to recheck everything. While there were still a good couple of hours until sunset, that still meant a good portion of his travel through the woods would be in darkness, she didn’t particularly want to make that longer. Though she hadn’t travelled in them, the most she had done being travelling to them and back on days when she truly couldn’t stand being in the town anymore, she was sure there was something wrong with those woods. She couldn’t exactly investigate that feeling, she was typically walking, and the journey there and back already made her leg burn and complain, and she also guessed that she shouldn’t investigate such a feeling, but it bothered her. It felt like staring into a haunting, being so close to something impossibly and unexplainably dangerous. And, of course, everyone knew about the predators in there. As much as she hated listening to Jordan talk about his hunting, he’d mentioned enough that she knew that there were dangerous animals, even if they typically minded their own business. That, though mundane, was enough a reason itself to want her brother in there for as short a time as possible. “Just make sure to stay on the route. I don’t trust the woods.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of letting the terrifying monster in the woods get me!” He jokingly mocked as he unbuckled and lifted part of the tarp to find a place for the last item. He only chuckled more at Capsize mildly annoyed sigh. She was too superstitious by half, which never failed to amuse him. Superstitions were expected of sailors, and heck he had some of his own like still wearing the amulet bearing Lady Ianite’s symbol meant to bring safe waters despite having been years now since he’d been on them, but in this situation there was really no reason for her to worry. He’d been through the woods enough to know they were perfectly safe. The road was well used, and the predators had little reason to bother people when there was easier prey already in the woods. Honestly, he saw absolutely no reason to fear the journey. As he found a free and secure spot and began resecuring the tarp, he saw in his peripheral vision her approach Phillipe, who of course greeted her with a cheerful whinny, the absolute traitor.

“When my brother gets himself got by a monster, you come and find me, so it doesn’t get you too. Alright Phillipe?” She said with a gentle rub of his neck. Redbeard laughed quietly at her words, wondering how he’d rank compared to the horse. He could almost hear her joking that Phillipe was practically family if he ever asked such a question, but she would be joking at least, he hoped. Well, at least if for whatever reason he was attacked by a bear or something, the horse will miraculously have understood what Capsize was telling him and get her assistance.

“I’ll await your rescue from the bear’s den!” He said, far too loud but neither of them cared and they devolved into laughter. For the briefest moment, they both forgot that they were about to be separated. As he walked around, to her and the horse, and less literally towards leaving, the laughter quieted. When they were next to each other, she gave him a soft smile, pulling him into a hug.

“Come back safe, okay.”

“I wouldn’t dream of anything else,” He said, softly and without a doubt in his mind. Everything was going to be fine, there was no reason to believe otherwise. As they parted, Capsize looked more stoic, biting her worries down and trying to look like she was focused on business.

“I told Jeriah you’d get him a couple bottles of liquor.”

“Easily done. Any personal requests?” He hoped she’d have a few, though she typically didn’t. He knew there were things she wanted, things that would help quell her boredom, but she never actually asked for any of them. Well, he’d figure out gifts for her even without her direct requests, it would just be nice for his sister to admit she wanted something.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Well, if you insist. So just a bit more alcohol than usual and a rose,” He said with a smirk as he saw Capsize’s nose scrunch. Eventually continuous buying her the flower would get old, but that was not today.

“You’re the worst,” She said with an amused shaking of her head, smiling despite her words.

“I know,” Redbeard said with a chuckle as she climbed into the saddle. He was glad, as always, to part with a joke and a smile. “See you in three weeks.”

🌹 🌹 🌹

Hours had passed, night having long since fallen as Redbeard had unexpectedly come to an impasse. Having reached a fork in the road, he held his map close to a lantern, but not as one might suspect to check which way he was supposed to travel, as he knew that perfectly well. It was rather that the way he was meant to travel was blocked by a fallen tree which he had no chance of getting past or moving. So, for the first time he was studying the map beyond his sister’s carefully marked route, hoping that the other direction would, at some point, join back up to his usual route. He didn’t particularly want to have to plan out a full new route, especially as it would most certainly be much more roundabout than Capsize’s, but he was fearing that might be his only choice. It was with a shaky hand that he traced along the map, following the unknown fork to see exactly where it went.

The path he traced didn’t make sense. It appeared to be completely superfluous, just a longer route to the next fork he would hit after this one, with only one branch with the long road itself, where the other path led to a dead end. And it was a much longer route, going far into the woods before returning to the original road. He bet it would take an extra hour, but he couldn’t complain at actually having an accessible route. As much as he was confused by the existence of such a thing, at least he now had a path forward.

“Come on, Phillipe, let’s get going,” He said, folding the map and putting it into his pocket, knowing he’d need to reference it again before he found his way back onto his usual route. As he guided the horse towards the unblocked path, Phillipe hesitated for a moment. He had to admit, he also had some hesitations about the path as it certainly looked in worse repair than the usual one, disregarding the tree of course, but he didn’t exactly have much of a choice. He gently patted his neck. “I know, it looks bad, but the sooner you move, the sooner we’ll be back on the normal path.”

As if understanding, the horse began to move again, turning onto the unfamiliar path. Slowly, but at least they were moving.

It didn’t seem all that bad at first, as it seemed just as a less frequented road through the woods would, bumpy and filled with an uncomfortable sense of foreboding as Redbeard couldn’t quite be sure of the direction being correct. But he had felt the same on his first journey through the woods on the normal route, it was just a fear of getting lost while being none the wiser. And that was how it seemed for the first ten minutes. However, the further in he travelled, the more the pit in his stomach grew.

The trees started to get wilder, none of them blocking the path, but branches hung down and jutted out at odd angles that felt like they were grasping out for him. Without leaves, he almost mistook them for fingers and claws despite how nonsensical such a thing was. A bitter rain had begun to fall, not heavy enough for its impact to hurt, though the cold certainly wasn’t pleasant, but it did obscure his vision. He could barely see beyond the small circle of light illuminated by his lantern. That was a worrying problem as, if it didn’t clear up by the time he reached the turn, he wouldn’t be able to check the map to make sure he headed back to the main road rather than down the dead end.

Worse, as he tried not to dwell on his nerves of possibly heading in the wrong direction, he became acutely aware of just how little he could hear. With the noise of Phillipe, the cart, and now the rain, he could barely hear anything, and if there was one thing you didn’t want while in the woods, it was both limited vision and hearing. He didn’t exactly fear much from the woods normally, he knew them well enough to know the few places he needed to be careful. But here, he felt vulnerable and that was only made worse by having such limited senses. Because, as much as he always mocked the idea of getting into trouble on the journey, he was sure he could hear something moving.

He knew he was being ridiculous, just giving into his fears and that it wasn’t good when he was already on edge, but he could swear there were things moving through the overgrowth of the trees. He felt like he needed to hear, to know what was approaching. And he found himself straining to make out any hint of a noise or sight of what was lurking in the darkness. Because he was hearing something, some movement through the trees, low growls that made his heart race. Even if it was sure to be his imagination, he was hearing something.

A howl pierced through the noise, far too close for comfort, others joining from further away. How many were there? He felt his heart racing as he realised he was in the middle of a pack. Of course, it wasn’t exactly common for them to attack people, but that wasn’t comforting him when they were so close. It was odd, despite all his actual knowledge, it was as if he knew in his gut that he knew that he was not safe this time. A feeling unfortunately proven true when a wolf leapt out towards him, barely missing its mark.

“Shit!” He whipped the reins, Phillipe quickly breaking into a run as he too did not feel like getting torn apart by wolves. Having strained to hear before, Redbeard now felt as though he could hear nothing but the wolves hot on their tail. He needed to stay ahead of them, he didn’t have time to think or second guess. He had no idea how long Phillipe would be able to keep up a full sprint, he just had to hope it would be long enough for the vicious animals to lose interest.

His mind rushed through the ways he could deter the animals, so much so that he barely noticed the fork in the road ahead. He forced a turn quickly muttering apologies as Phillipe barely managed to turn while actually remaining on the road. He had no idea which path he was now travelling down, the one leading back to the usual route or the odd dead end. It was not as if he had the time to check such a thing and it likely didn’t matter anyway. He was still hours away from a rest stop, away from light or other people that might scare off the pack. Unless he could think of something himself to scare them, this was purely a game of stamina. What chance did they really have of winning such a contest?

The further they were chased, the more the path grew unseemly. It felt as though they were travelling over terrain so uneven that the cart could fall or break a wheel at any moment. The trees seemed to become brambles, thorns sticking out of the branches that were stretching ever closer to the road. All the while the rain fell, the intensity increasing and making it ever harder to guide the panicking horse to make sure he didn’t run headfirst into thorns. There should’ve been no way he should be able to outrace the wolves, he knew that even as he desperately tried to flee. But that was not the only impossible thing that happened over the next few moments.

As the plant life suddenly peeled away into a far more open area, the wolves skidded to a stop. They whined, and quickly fled seemingly for no reason. He tugged on the reins, slowing their speed as he tried to calm the still spooked horse. Redbeard looked back to try and figure out what might have caused such a reaction from the wolves, and it was then he realised he had not ridden into a natural clearing. Consumed by some of the brambles were a rusted gate, forever stuck open but apparently still acting as a barrier as none of the wolves’ paw prints passed where it would stand if it were shut. Confused by the oddity, he rode forward a little more, not feeling completely safe to dismount yet. And then, even through the rain, he saw that this was not merely some gated clearing, some overgrown private garden, as ahead of him stood a castle. A castle that for some reason was not marked on his map. Why would such an estate not be marked? What kind of oddity had he stumbled into? He had no idea if he should be weary or grateful for the possible shelter. He settled on the latter, if only since he would prefer not to be out in the rain while waiting out daybreak.

He slipped off Phillipe, taking a hold of the lantern and going to unbuckle him from the cart. He’d come back and put him in a stable if this place had one and the owners let him, assuming this place had owners. It didn’t exactly look occupied, with the state of the overgrown plants and the rusted gate, but it also didn’t look abandoned. The building looked strong, no sign of it being left to disrepair despite that clearly being true of the gardens as large thorny bushes stood overground throughout. He almost hesitated to let Phillipe wander on his own, in case he stumbled into one, but he had at least a little confidence in the animal to not wander into danger.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” He said, as if such reassurance would mean anything to a horse. Yet he did find it necessary to say, as if he was actually reassuring himself that he would re-emerge from the building.

As he wandered closer to the castle’s imposing doors, the lantern illuminated one of the bushes. Unlike what he had assumed, they weren’t just barren brambles. In fact, he almost laughed despite his dire situation as before him was a rosebush. The thorns surrounding him were filled with the flowers that he sought out to annoy Capsize. Honestly, he’d never seen such big flowers this late in autumn, most had wilted by this month. What he was looking at was far nicer than any he would get at the market this time of year, and perhaps for most of the year. He felt for the small knife in his pocket, carefully reaching for one of the flowers while avoiding the thorns. He knew he shouldn’t do this, that he’d need to come up with some excuse if this place wasn’t abandoned, but how could he not want to take such a beautiful flower back home? With the cutting technique he’s learnt from the old flower seller at the market, it should last for months as all the others had, so there wouldn’t be a worry of it wilting before he got home to Capsize. Surely the owners would understand and if they didn’t, he could pay for it.

As the flower separated from the bush, he pulled a handkerchief to wrap the stem, and with the flower now in hand, he walked up the steps towards the entrance. He reached up, knocked as hard as he could to be heard over the storm, only for the door to creak open upon his touch. Had he really hit it that hard? He must’ve done, but it felt odd that his mere knocking could’ve caused such heavy wood to shift. But, not wanting to spend another moment in the rain, he headed inside despite such uncertainty.

The room before him was by far the fanciest he had ever been in. Even with the darkness he could tell such a thing. Though it seemed as though it was not too taken care of, with dust floating in his lantern light, clearly this was a grand place. He felt lost, more so than he had outside, as he stood in the quiet entrance hall, wondering if another person had been in here for years.

“Hello?” He called out into the darkness, his voice travelling through the building. He was acutely aware of how much power someone who resided in such a place would have. Though if there was someone of such power so close to the town, he surely should’ve heard of them, so it seemed more likely that the place was just abandoned. But then he heard it, quiet but most definitely a noise. Someone or something was in this building. But how was he meant to confront such a fact when he was not supposed to be here? He strayed a little closer to the noise, hoping he could figure out if it was being made by people. “I was chased by a pack of wolves through the woods, and I don’t think I’ll be able to find my way back to my normal route through the rain. I was hoping I could have a place to stay until morning.”

There was silence at first. In fact, for long enough that he almost thought he might have imagined the noises originally. Maybe he was just still on edge and imagining things. That wouldn’t be impossible. However, as he stood in the darkened room, he saw a dim light from one of the doorways. That wasn’t there when he walked in. Someone was here. He took a cautious step towards it, hearing hushed conversation as he approached.

“Don’t you dare! The amount of trouble we’ll get into!”

“Oh, come off it, she’ll never know!” He heard a man reply to a woman. He hesitated for a moment, not wanting his presence to cause anyone any problems. He’d be happy to sleep in a stable if staying inside would cause them trouble, but he hesitated to speak when he was eavesdropping. Maybe he should just call out again in general? However, before he could do that, there was a noise that began to approach him, but it was not one he would say it sounded like footsteps. It sounded more akin to Capsize’s cane hitting the ground, a single object hitting the ground as opposed to multiple. He wasn’t quite sure what could be making such a noise without anything else accompanying it, after all he heard voices that should mean people so there should be footsteps. However, when what was making the noise came into view, Redbeard stumbled backwards slightly, dropping his lantern in disbelief that he was seeing something blatantly impossible. “Of course, you can stay here! We’d be more than happy to host you! You’ll never have stayed in a nicer place!”

“Errrr…” What all that could escape from him. In front of him ‘stood’ a candelabra, one beautifully carved from gold to look like a man in finery holding two candles with a third sat on his head. To carve such a design must’ve taken tens of hours, but that was not the focus of his mind. Rather the fact that he moved and spoke. The candelabra spoke. If Redbeard had been a more cautious man, a more logical man, he likely would’ve fled at such a sight. Yet, his mind did not bring him fear, but rather a question he had often found himself asking. “Am I drunk?”

“No! At least not yet! I’d be more than happy to find you a fine vintage while you dry off,” The candelabra answered the rhetorical question, his offer and general welcoming nature putting Redbeard at ease despite how he was literally talking to a piece of furniture. He wondered briefly if he had hit his head at some point, and this was merely some fantasy cooked up by his dreams after such an injury, but he decided that even being able to consider such a thing likely meant it hadn’t happened. And if he was stuck in a dream, hopefully he’d dream up some nice booze. Before he could laugh at his own thought, and accept the offer he really couldn’t refuse, an ornate table clock approached.

“No! Thomas do not give this man any alcohol,” The clock, apparently the woman he had overheard, said. She too looked incredibly well made, with wood he guessed in the dim light to be hawthorn embellished with silver inlaid into spiral engravings. He could see a winding key on her back, though he had little idea what it was for as, while her face had painted features that were looking intensely annoyed at the candelabra that he guessed was Thomas, it lacked any actual clock hands that would need to be wound. And she was annoyed, not that Tom ever knew her to have any other emotion, because letting this man stay was going to end in disaster. She knew it would. How could it go any other way? But Tom didn’t just want to stay quiet and let the man leave, because why on earth would he actually listen for once?

He was not the only person not listening to the clock at that moment, as Redbeard had begun to look in fascination. For one object to talk, that was slightly terrifying, but more than one and he had clearly stumbled into some place enchanted. He wished more than he ever had on any journey that Capsize was with him as this place would give her enough excitement to almost make up for the amount of boredom she'd spent her time in the town experiencing. He only got drawn out of his thoughts when the clock he was staring at started trying, despite clearly lacking the ability, to shove him back towards the door.

“It was very nice to meet you, but you really can’t stay here.”

“If I can’t stay in the castle, could I at least stay in a stable or an outbuilding? Just until the storm clears, so I can drive off the wolves if I need to.”

“Well, I suppose if you’re quiet that—”

“Oh shush, you Mystic busybody,” Tom said, getting her away from the man simply by beginning to shoo as his flames got uncomfortably close to her. This was the first person that had come here in years, he wasn’t about to let this golden opportunity slip out of his hands. What Princess Fluffles didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and what she did know might fix this whole situation if they played their cards right. “Please, right this way sir. No point sending you out into the cold without drying off first.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” He said, deciding not to question the hospitality when he was beginning to realise just how soaked he was. He followed ‘Thomas’ as he gestured towards and then hopped into a room. He didn’t know what he had stumbled into, this place where furniture talked, but that wasn’t any reason to leave. With the way the storm was progressing he was going to lose time on the journey from needing to dry his clothes wherever he rested next, doing so in a castle just seemed like a nice option.

As the two men disappeared into the next room, the clock followed after a slight hesitation. She needed to at least try and stop this. She’d come up with a way to persuade the man to leave, hopefully without returning with a mob. However, as she followed, she didn’t notice, as the two men hadn’t, the figure lurking in the shadows on the landing above. Far bigger than any human, just watching and quietly seething at the trespasser in her castle.

As Tom entered the drawing room, the fireplace roared to life. Redbeard looked in amazement, wondering what it took for a place to have magic to just react to a presence. The small amount he had seen from the trinkets Capsize repaired always needed to at least be touched, but this didn’t even need that. He could’ve never imagined actually seeing such a thing. But he had also never imagined being ushered towards a chair by a talking candelabra so perhaps he needed to stop being surprised by comparatively mundane things. Before sitting, he shrugged off his coat, realising with a little annoyance that the rain had soaked through and into his shirt. What would he have done if he hadn’t found shelter? He grateful took the seat by the fire, the warmth as welcome as it ever could be. With the man clearly relaxing, Tom decided to start work on his master plan.

“See, much better than a musty old stable. Is there anything else you need? Food, drink?”

“My horse is still out in the rain. I’d appreciate him being given shelter.”

“Of course! We’ll give him shelter, get him fed and watered. Martha, make yourself useful will you?”

“Why on earth should I help a trespassing thief?” The clock said, eyes locked onto the rose in the man’s hand.

“Oh, come off it, no one cares about those bushes,” Came a new voice as a small plant pot hopped into the room. She spoke with a younger cadence than the clock and the candelabra, though Redbeard wasn’t sure if that at all made sense, and looked less ornate, just a simple brown clay pot with facial features carved in, but that was more than made up by the number of colourful and beautiful flowers growing within. Much like the roses outside, most of the flowers were certainly not ones currently in season, but that was the least of the oddities about this place. He appreciated being defended, mostly since he couldn’t exactly put the rose back now, he’d already cut it from the bush. The clock glared at the plant pot. How did none of them see that they needed to get this man out? The plant pot thought little of the glare, instead getting as close to the man as possible. “I can get you something nicer if you want, the rose bushes have taken over most of the garden but there’s still some other flowers growing! I bet there’s enough for a bouquet still if you--”

“I know you’re excited, but don’t leap up at the man Alyssa,” A snuffbox said as he came into the room, a little slower than his daughter. Similar to the candelabra, he was crafted from gold, though at least half of him was embellished with green crystals. Much like the other furniture pieces, he had facial features, though they were more hidden among the design than any of the others’ were. On his lid was a coat of arms that Redbeard didn’t recognise, which was not out of the question, he wasn’t exactly the most knowledgeable on such things, but certainly could be of note to the castle he also hadn’t heard of the existence of.

The snuffbox himself was more excited than he was letting on. How could he not be excited about the first person he’d seen in gods knows how many years? But he worried about his daughter jumping up in such a way. She was fragile. He was always scared she might crack or break, and what such a thing could mean if they ever fixed this curse. Tom decided to spin the caution once again towards the obvious end goal here.

“Yeah, Batty, you don’t want to jump up and crush the rose. How can you help him craft a beautiful romantic bouquet if you ruin the first flower?” Tom said, knowing Alyssa would stick her tongue out or shove him if she could. Redbeard almost immediately laughed at his words, not meaning to but unable to hold back the reaction given how far from reality the idea of him wanting a romantic bouquet was. The candelabra smirked. This was a good sign. He hopped forward, thinking about how to phrase his next question without scaring the man off. “Is it really that funny? A handsome guy like you not into romance then?”

“Well, I’m not against it, but the rose is for my sister,” He was pretty used to the questions about if the roses he brought were for a sweetheart back home, though they still made him laugh. He was less used to being called handsome. He didn’t exactly think he was unattractive, but unruly ginger hair and heterochromia with one bright green and one deep red eye hadn’t gained him many compliments. If he weren’t currently talking to a piece of furniture, he’d assume he was being flirted with. He supposed he shouldn’t write that off, but he had no idea how such a relationship would work. If they weren’t made of metal, Tom’s eyes would’ve lit up at the mention of a sister.

“A sister you say? Is she interested in romance?” He asked, being far too forward for the taste of everyone else in the room, but he would not receive an answer. Before Redbeard could question as to why he could possibly want to know about his sister’s relationship status, loud footsteps began to approach the room.

The fire began to flicker and shake as if a great wind was whipping through the room. It made no sense, as the air was still and even if it wasn’t magic fire shouldn’t be affected by such a thing, but that was what made it all the more uneasy. The furniture fell silent, the clock not slipping the ‘I told you so’s that she had on her lips, instead just hoping the Mistress would pass by, that the trouble she had predicted would not come to pass. Redbeard knew something was wrong, obviously anyone would at this moment. He stood cautiously, taking his coat in hand as he did, almost sensing the upcoming need to flee.

By the time the footsteps stood outside the door, the fire had completely blown out, alongside Tom’s candles. There was still some dim light remaining, from the embers and a tiny amount from the outside, but that did little to light up the figure that threw open the door. It was large, large enough to block the entire doorway if it were not currently on all fours. From the size, he would assume he was looking at a bear, grizzly or bigger, but the build was wrong, not to mention it had horns. Whatever he was looking at, it was not a normal animal, and it was growling at him. He didn’t dare move. No one dared to move except the snuffbox.

“Why is a stranger here?” The Beast growled, Redbeard trying not to react to hearing it speak. It spoke with a woman’s voice, though one that sounded as if it had not been used in many a year. The snuffbox approached with caution, knowing how quickly this could go wrong. He could not allow the Beast to be harmed, but at the same time he couldn’t let her harm an innocent traveller.

“He’s just an unlucky traveller, seeking shelter from—” A growl cut him off as he was stepped over by the Beast that he was trying to reassure. How long had it been since she had listened to him? Even before the curse, her doing so had been happening less and less. But who wouldn’t try in such a desperate situation? She approached Redbeard, who tried badly to disguise his nervous steps back. Was it too late to take his chances with the wolves?

“You are not welcome here,” She growled as she stalked closer. He could see a little aside from a basic outline, but he could hear claws scraping against hardwood with every movement of her limbs. He had never felt so vulnerable, been in a situation where it was so clear that he was prey. And he knew he had to flee, to get out of this place while he had the chance. But he wasn’t sure if he even had a chance anymore. She was blocking the doorway, to get out he’d need to pass her. And what chance did he really have of that?

The next to approach the creature was the clock. She was already annoyed that the others had allowed the situation to progress this far, she was not about to let something even worse come to fruition.

“Yes, I told everyone as much, and this is precisely why I was about to escort him out! If you’ll just—” She was cut off by a much louder roar, barely getting out of the way before the Beast batted at her, a giant pawed hand swiping through the space where she had been. Redbeard barely held his nerve at the sight, at seeing the terrible thing that could soon be aimed at him and seeing perhaps his only hope at escape dashed. And now, the attention of the Beast was completely on him.

“Who are you? How did you find your way here?” She was close enough to grasp him now. A single wrong move and she would have him.

“I’m just a merchant, my usual route was blocked so I took another one and it led here,” His usual way with words and excuses were nowhere in such a situation as there was no excuse he could muster. If the truth that this was truly an accident didn’t save him, then what could? He tried to further back away, but he had no way to get away from the Beast now she was so close. Maybe if he tried to run? But he was sure that such a creature would be faster than him. Another step back caused him to stumble slightly, not enough to fall, but enough for his amulet to shift out from his shirt. She growled at the sight of it.

“You came looking for the Beast? She sent you to stare at the great monster?!” She would not believe this to be some accident, not when he wore the symbol of that goddess, of the one who cursed her into this form. No one came here, no one had since the curse had begun. But now one with that symbol came through the doors and she was meant to believe he had just stumbled across the place?

“No! I don’t know what you’re talking about! I swear I just came here looking for shelter!” For once, Redbeard was not lying or exaggerating. He was far too scared for any of that. Yet, it was also this moment where his words were being disbelieved more than any other in his life. His desperate pleads fell on deaf ears, the Beast took a hold of him by the chest. He dropped what he was holding, attempting fruitlessly with both hands to pry to claws off himself.

“You want shelter? I’ll give you shelter!” For a moment, she held him close to her face, and he saw everything. He saw the Beast’s face bared in anger towards him, and he felt more terror than he had before in his life. But there was no way for him to escape. He could only struggle and beg for mercy as the Beast half-carried, half-dragged him out of the room. She would not let him go. She wouldn’t let him escape. As she left with the terrified man in tow, she slammed the door closed, leaving the furniture in the darkness, the only sign of the man’s brief time in that room an abandoned coat and rose.

Outside, still in the rain, the horse heard the roars. As any animal would, it spooked, running out of the rusted open gate and back towards the safety of home.

#mianite #mianite fanfiction #cat's fanfiction #sonja firefox #sonja firefox/captain capsize #captain capsize #mianite batb au #skipper redbeard #jordan captainsparklez #tom syndicate #martha the mystic #alyssa screziato #mot screziato

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daswarschonkaputt · 2 years ago

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an incredibly subjective kinnporsche fic rec list

a few caveats before i get into it: i have probably missed fic. this is all my opinion, and if you disagree with it, that’s fine. i’m not giving these fics ratings, or picking out my extra special favourites because that’s just a dick move and inevitably results in writers feeling like shit. (i’ve been there.) if it’s on this list, i enjoyed it enough to remember it. which is saying something because i read a lot of fic. like, so much firefox fucking crashed when i was opening tabs from my ao3 history. i bsod’d my fucking laptop for this. oh and my fic is on this list because hell yeah i recommend it. i fucking wrote it.

these aren’t in any particular order, because they’re mostly in order of my ao3 history. bear in mind that a lot of these were written whilst the show was airing, so they’re not so much canon as canon-adjacent. where i can remember what they go by over on this hellsite, i’ve tagged the author’s in question. if you know any of the handles for authors i’ve missed, feel free to tag them too.

under a cut because there are quite a few here:

A Guide to Living a Mafia-Adjacent Life by puckbaes https://archiveofourown.org/works/39870123

What? Post-canon fic about Chay adjusting to his new life as a mafia-adjacent college student, and making peace with his relationship with Kim. WIP. 20k, 8/11 chapters posted.

Why? This story primarily makes me feel peaceful, to read. Chay’s just trying to get through his life, whilst trying to pick himself up and move on. It’s such a breath of fresh air whenever it updates. Also P’Bank is the best.

for you (i'd burn the world to the ground) by cuteandtwisted https://archiveofourown.org/works/40134927

What? AU where Porsche grew up with the Theerapanyakul’s, and has been Kinn’s faithful bodyguard the entire time. He and Kinn have a tortured relationship. WIP, 24k, 4/5 chapters posted.

Why? This one is not a peaceful read. This one rips out your heart and stomps on it. But unsurprisingly, I’m an angst queen, and I very much enjoy these losers ruining their lives (and each other). Also badass Porsche. We all love badass Porsche, don’t we?

but you’re everywhere (yes you are) by fortunehasgivenup https://archiveofourown.org/works/39221205

What? Canon-divergence where Porsche remembers the kiss on the pier, and talks to Kinn about it. Despite the summary, they are softer than canon. Complete, 90k.

Why? Reading this I kept expecting the other shoe to drop, and it didn’t. Kinn and Porsche fall into each other and figure each other out. It’s just a nice, long canon-divergence fic with low drama and high heat.

within the ablaze by lightshine https://archiveofourown.org/works/39897795

What? A/B/O mpreg AU. Check out the content warnings on AO3 before you brave this one, folks. Porsche gets pregnant, and has to figure out what he’s going to do about it. WIP, 9k, 3/16 chapters posted.

Why? Okay, so only a few chapters have been posted of this one, but what’s there has me intrigued. There’s some interesting worldbuilding here, but again, check the content warnings on AO3. It’s omegaverse, and some of the trope’s more dystopian elements are folded into the world here. This is one of the fic I am subscribed to and am watching to see how it develops.

You picked a dance with the devil, You lucked out by aby01 https://archiveofourown.org/works/39718185

What? A/B/O AU where Porsche is a feral alpha, terrified of being used as someone’s weapon, and Kinn is, well, Kinn. Porsche would like desperately to steer clear of him for forever – there’s just one problem: Chay’s dating Kim. Alpha!Kinn/Alpha!Porsche. Complete, 34k.

Why? Someone tags their fic with Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics and I am there so quickly, you have no idea. I really enjoyed the worldbuilding here. I followed it right from the first chapter and faithfully read every update – I vibed hard with it.

Where Power Resides by Laughsalot3412 (@laughsalot3412 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/38407180

What? Canon-divergent AU circa episode 2. Vegas demands a steeper price for Porsche hurting his brother, and Kinn ends up going along. Somehow this results in them falling into a BDSM relationship. Complete, 65k.

Why? C’mon guys. This is a fandom classic for a reason. Laughs really knocks it out of the park. The BDSM stuff here is mostly non-sexual, and written really tenderly. It’s really clear what Kinn and Porsche each get out of the relationship, and the way they both come to rely on each other is really beautiful. Also I have a soft spot for Laughs’ Kim, who’s my favourite brand of feral.

The power in the taking by iffervescent (@iffervescent on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002584

What? Porsche and Kinn fuck around (sexually) and then find out (about feelings). Kinn’s a dominant asshole, and Porsche hates that that seems to do it for him. Written before the show aired, based on the Filmania trailer, and got a shocking amount really right. Complete, 17k.

Why? Iffy’s a fucking powerhouse, guys. This one is a little darker in tone than the show liked to keep it, but so, so fucking good. Obviously it doesn’t get everything correct canon-wise, but that’s to be expected. It’s still a really good fic.

playing with fire by acrobats (@fractured-ice on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39521733

What? Porsche character study through the lens of smoking. Complete, 2.5k.

Why? A short fic that looks at Porsche and his use of smoking as a coping mechanism. Damn good characterisation. Almost meta, really.

i'm the violence in the pouring rain by theleftboobgrabber (@histypeisnice on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39205392

What? Porsche has a side-hustle on onlyfans. Kinn has no sense of boundaries. Twisty and incredibly hot. WIP, 20k, 2/3 chapters posted.

Why? Um. I have no excuse? I saw a snippet of this posted on tumblr and was absolutely hooked. When I say I want these losers to ruin each other, I think of fics like this one.

tiny spark, mighty flame by BeStillMySlashyHeart https://archiveofourown.org/works/38828970

What? Soulmate AU where your first touch leaves a mark on your soulmate. Gee, wouldn’t it suck if the first time Kinn and Porsche actually touched was when Kinn strangled him in episode two? Wouldn’t it suck if that was how they found out they were soulmates? (Distant laughter.) Complete, 29k.

Why? This was one of the first soulmate AU fic I read that actually approached the matter that Porsche would need a security detail, once it was discovered. Which: I would recommend it just for that on its own. BUT, it’s also a neat fic. There’s a really cool use of the author’s worldbuilding at the end of the fic, which I won’t spoil, but I still think about it. It’s short, it’s sweet, it hits the mark.

Nosy, Nosy by snickerdoodlles (@thecookiemonster77 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39562044

What? Tankhun and Kim character study. Incredibly in-character, and also incredibly funny. Complete, 13k.

Why? One of the first fic I ever read where the author seemed to just get Tankhun on a subatomic level. This fic is the Tankhun character reference, guys. Also Kim is just so funny to throw at the rest of the cast. Yes, Tankhun. Invade his space. Irritate him. Understand him.

Head.Cars.Bending by hotlemontea https://archiveofourown.org/works/39744693

What? Tankhun ends up halfway across Thailand after a wild night of partying. Porsche and Kinn go to pick him up, and Porsche’s driving puts the fear of God into Kinn. As it fucking should. Complete, 4k.

Why? You ever read a fic that just sets the tone and sticks to it? It’s a simple idea, very straightforward, and utterly sticks the landing. I really enjoyed it. One of the few fic I was able to recall off the top of my head by name when I wrote this list. It’s that good.

Assumptions about you by Sirvaria (@antique-forvalaka on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/38101582

What? Smut fic, Porsche likes being manhandled. Complete, 6k.

Why? Um. UM. I read it for the… character development? Yeah. We’ll go with that. Seriously though, this is the good shit.

gone fishing by snickerdoodlles https://archiveofourown.org/works/39384114

What? Post-canon social media fic. Chay takes over Wik’s Twitter. Complete, 1.5k.

Why? I didn’t realise until I put together this list that this is the same author as “Nosy, Nosy”. It all makes sense. Cute, funny, in-character, which I guess is snickerdooodlles’s trademark now.

A Stacked Deck by Patterpea (@winterberrysea on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40217793

What? Time travel fic where Porsche is sent back in time after taking a bullet for Kinn. WIP, 39k, 4/16 chapters posted.

Why? It’s time travel fic with badass Porsche. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I was all over this the moment it was posted and will continue to be all over it until it’s complete and then probably for a few months after that. This scratches so many itches and I love it to bits already.

fake love and hennessy by yeetlegay (@yeetlegay on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39083298

What? Pretty Woman AU. Porsche is a prostitute, and Kinn hires him for a week. They have a lot of sex. WIP, 53k, 8/17 chapters posted.

Why? This is another one of the fandom juggernauts, and for good reason. The writing’s swell, everyone’s in character, and Yeetle works hard to maintain their title as the ruling monarch of the horny Kinnporsche fandom.

The King's Tree by LuckyDragon (@luckydragon10 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39298218

What? Soulmate AU where prior to canon, Kinn got his soulmark removed. Porsche didn’t. Porsche is now faced with a reality where his soulmate was so opposed to his very existence that he had him burned out of his flesh. So, he’s not really best-inclined to letting Kinn in on the secret. WIP, 64k, 12/14 chapters posted.

Why? It’s so good. Like. It’s criminal how underrated this fic is, relatively. Whenever this one updates, I drop everything to go read it. You may know Nemi (the author) from the meta doc – but damn can she write. This one rips my heart out on a daily basis, holds it outside my chest, and then returns it, wrapped in cotton wool. I’m not kidding. It’s so fucking good.

Intent to Cherish by Iffervescent https://archiveofourown.org/works/40304811

What? A/B/O AU with shades of sugar daddy thrown in for fun. Porsche is an atypical omega, and hyperaware of that fact. Kinn wants him really fucking bad – but wants to spoil him more. Complete, 47k.

Why? It lures you in with the promise of scalding hot sex (Iffy’s trademark), only to sucker punch you with fascinating worldbuilding and Kittisawat feels. This fic is so fucking good, guys. This Porsche makes me absolutely lose my mind, and Kinn does too.

cover up, walk away by Ronan Vespertine (Akina1521) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39225051

What? Porsche character study, post-diamond auction. Canon-typical content warnings apply. WIP, 5k, 2/4 chapters posted.

Why? In the aftermath of episode four (and episode five, really, too) I had a lot of feelings about what had happened. In order to process these feelings, I went looking for fic, and cover up was one of the first I found. I enjoyed it a lot, and am secretly waiting for the author to finish it.

whiskey sour by cardamon https://archiveofourown.org/works/39632343

What? Post-canon, a little AU. Kinn and Vegas do business. Pete and Porsche come along. Complete, 1.8k.

Why? It was written before the season finale and it shows, but it’s still pretty fun. All very bloody brutal murder boys. I’d definitely recommend it, if you’re into that.

Tiger Tiger by LuckyDragon https://archiveofourown.org/works/38000350

What? Slight canon divergence, Kinn investigates Porsche and watches him at the fight ring. Small ficlet. Complete, 2k.

Why? I really love Nemi’s Kinn POV. Just a neat ficlet, with a slight AU to it. Could fit into canon.

A Little Wicked by midnightsurge https://archiveofourown.org/works/40197588

What? Canon-divergent AU. Porsche doesn’t sell the watch, and Kinn doesn’t kidnap him to recruit him. That doesn’t mean he’s prepared to leave him alone. Complete, 11k.

Why? I love canon-divergence. It’s one of my favourite tropes. And fics like this are why. They’re so soft in this one – wound-tending, bathing, all the hurt-comfort tropes. And Porsche’s confused horniness for Kinn is great and wonderfully in character – he really gets kissed once and goes, Okay, I guess I like guys now. Good shit.

All for Us by rebellconquerer (@rebellconquerer on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40326297

What? Post-canon character study. Porsche gets a new tattoo. Complete, 3.5k.

Why? rebellconquerer writes these fantastic, short snapshots of character interaction. This is no exception. Wonderful fic, wonderful premise, wonderfully executed. If you want more where this came from, check their tumblr.

wrapped around your finger (is my ring) by kittysawat https://archiveofourown.org/works/40793439

What? Fake relationship AU. Kinn hires Porsche to be his fiancé, to dodge an arranged marriage. WIP, 7k.

Why? So I guess Kinnporsche has cured me of my burning apathy for fake dating because I am all over this shit, and it’s only one chapter in. Author-san I am looking with Both My Eyes for your next update.

Machine Gun Kick by majestictortoise (@majestictortoise on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40501785

What? Post-canon fic where Porsche investigates the incident at Yok’s bar during the finale -- and his investigation leads him to Kim. Complete, 14k

Why? I live for the Porsche and Kim dynamic, which we didn’t get to see at all in canon. It’s so much funnier if they actually get along. It’s so good. It feeds us so well. Heartfelt, entertaining, well-written. I love this fic so much.

between the sheets by DasWarSchonKaputt (dat’s me) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39409224

What? Fake dating/bodyguard AU. Porsche is hired to pretend to be Kinn’s boyfriend whilst secretly being his bodyguard. Complete, 70k.

Why? Cards on the table, I wrote this. And I think it’s fucking great. I know that sounds arrogant, but I really do rate this one. If you haven’t read it, or even if fake dating’s not really your thing – give it a shot. For me?

#kinnporsche fic rec #this is all incredibly subjective #i don't like leaving comments on ao3 - gives me mad anxiety #so this is i guess my substitute for that #please give these fics and their authors a lot of love #i may have missed some bc i had like 30 ao3 tabs open after going through my history #also there's no vegas/pete on this list bc i do not read fic for them #even kimchay i'm picky about #kinnporsche #i tried to strike a balance between what i feel are fandom classics #and lesser known fic that i've stumbled across #also i had to plug my own fic bc if you don't believe in yourself who will #i've been reliably informed it's good tho #i did this instead of replying to comments bc i'm a rebel #edited to add an author tumblr tag i found upon rereading gone fishing #and also to add machine gun kick #because it was a crime i forgot that one

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attllhak · 3 years ago

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Adoption AU - Lullaby Reacts to Time’s Batman Level Adoption Bullshit

@tortilla-of-courage I offer you mercy. Also no one mentioned wanting to be tagged on the last story on this series so it’s just you for right now I guess.

Also, this fic is called ‘Aunt Lullaby/Uncle Sheik On Time’s Sudden Acquisition Of Kids’ in my docs, but I’ve been using the ‘Batman-Level Adoption Bullshit’ for so long that this is the title now.

Also! Some of the boys have some heavy topics to their backstories (Wars comes to mind as an example), so let me know if I need to tag this with certain warnings or stuff. Nothing is actually shown, but I figured I’d just put that out there.

-----------------

Lullaby, who was still just Zelda then, had been very excited when Time, then just Link, had called her to tell her that Malon was pregnant.

She had gotten the call first, as Link had found it important that she knew before anyone else. After everything else in his life, he said, he wanted the person who he knew would always be there for him to know first, and that he was going to be making a few other calls later that day.

Link had never had an easy life. When his father died when he was 10, he’d ended up devastated. Zelda and her Aunt Impa had found him hiding in an alley a few days after, once he’d run away from the social workers. His sister Navi had been with him, and the two were sorting through the very few bits of snack food they’d had. Link’s father had been a foster parent for a lot of strays, orphans, or abused kids needing another place to stay. Link had fallen into the orphan category, and so the social workers had planned to cycle him back into the system. He’d lost contact with his sister Saria, whom he still hadn’t found out how to make contact with again, and so all he had was Navi. Impa had taken them both in on the spot, much to the annoyance of Zelda’s father initially, but the two grew on him. Navi went missing when Link and Zelda had been 17, after an issue with a man who really had wanted to see them both dead. Link hadn’t given up hope yet, but with every passing year it looked worse and worse for her to be okay.

Zelda had known Malon from day one, and had loved Link’s wife and was so happy to see him find that bit of happiness. The one thing she knew he wanted more than anything else was to have a solid, stable family of his own.

The pregnancy was a wonderful bit of news, and she couldn’t be happier for her brother.

She had spent some time over at their house, her then-girlfriend Ruto coming as well, helping Malon with some of the housework and such since she wasn’t supposed to be doing too much of the ranch work while pregnant.

She had arrived at the hospital less than thirty minutes after she got the call that Malon was in labor, and spent the time pacing in the hall, then supporting Link when he got kicked out after panicking too much. Apparently Malon had enough of him.

She could relate.

After Link had his whole ‘we made a whole baby person’ moment where his brain short-circuited after he was handed his son, the next person who got to hold him was Zelda. A chubby baby, who slept almost the whole time. He had his mother’s nose, thank Hylia.

Zelda saw him open his eyes only once that day, and she could swear she saw in his cobalt-silver eyes that same spark in his father’s eye. Singular, since Link only had the one.

Zelda’s family had a long tradition of naming their kids after family members. Her name was her grandmother’s and her great-grandmother’s, so on so forth. Her father had been pressing to pick a family name the entire pregnancy. Her mother had kept telling him to back off a little. Fortunately, Malon’s family also had a set of passed down names, hers being one of them. So the idea of naming the child after family wasn’t a big deal for her, even if it was a different set of names.

However, there was one thing to take into account here, and that was Link’s family.

No one knew what the naming traditions in his family were, he didn’t even know his birth parent’s names. But that didn’t change the desire to find a way to work them in too.

There was only one name from Link’s family that anyone knew.

The baby was named Link.

Zelda’s father stopped complaining a week later. Her mother was very clear about it.

At Zelda and Ruto’s wedding seven years later, Link Jr. was the ring bearer.

Junior stopped being his nickname when he was thirteen.

(---)

Zelda got a call from Link Sr. about a day after it happened with a simple request.

“Who was in charge of the paperwork when your family adopted me?”

Zelda blinked once, then twice. “Come again?”

“The lawyer who arranged for my adoption, who was that?” Link asked again.

“Why?” Zelda asked, her wife leaning around the doorframe to give her a concerned look. Zelda shot her a thumbs up.

A heavy sigh came from the other end of the phone. “I think I’ve acquired another son,”

Zelda came over.

This new nephew of hers, apparently, was a sweet boy. A series of scars littered his entire left side, burn and explosive damage if she were to guess, and he had no idea how he got them. He had amnesia. The one thing he did know was his name.

His name was Link.

Zelda had to take a minute. She was trying very hard not to laugh. This was exactly the kind of luck her brother had.

“Zelda, stop mocking me, this wasn’t my call,” Link whined, though he’d never say it was a whine.

“Link, you have to see the humour here,” she gasped, waving at the two boys in the living room where Jr. was trying to show Scars how to use a lasso. This was Zelda’s idea, but she wasn’t taking responsibility for it.

Link just sighed heavily. “Link found him on the street. Malon looked into it and his parents died in a car crash a year ago, he has nowhere to go. We’ve agreed to let him stay, you understand that,”

Zelda nodded, sobering up some. “Yeah, I get that, kinda. The lawyer we hired was named Rauru, Mom should have his contact information still, you should call her,”

Link sighed, relieved. “Thank you,”

“Of course, just don’t make it a habit,”

(---)

The first inclination this would be a habit was a year later.

Wild, the younger of his sons, was in the same class as another boy named Link. This boy had lived with his uncle his whole life, and got the call his uncle died when at school. Sheik was about ready to punch someone for doing that to the boy, and just before christmas no less.

Wild brought him home, insisting he could stay at least for the holidays. The agreement wasn’t even a question, there was no way he was going to be forced to spend a holiday at an orphanage.

When Sheik and Ruto showed up on christmas day, not that their family cared much for christmas but they were all off anyways, the newest Link had been named Legend.

He was a little more shy than the others, understandably, and a little snappish.

Not a bad kid, just one grieving and in need of family. That was something their family had never hesitated to provide.

Sheik’s mother teaching him how to spin a butterfly knife was probably not the wisest decision, but considering Rottla heard a therapist say “Your kids are traumatized, they need to feel safe again,” and decided to sign them up for every martial arts she could, well, it should have been a sign that she wasn’t the best in that regard. Time, Link Sr., had made it very clear he felt Sheik took after her. Sheik had no idea what his brother was talking about.

Legend didn’t leave after that. One call to Rauru, and Legend was a permanent member of the family.

Sheik took great pride in being the favorite Uncle of Legend’s, after his late guardian of course. He pointedly ignored that he was the only Uncle, and only part-time.

Time could suck it.

(---)

Lullaby, since so many of her nephews’ friends were named Zelda apparently, received a call at five am.

True, she knew her brother and his wife woke up at sunrise to do yard work and such, but usually they were kind enough to let her sleep in.

Not so this morning.

“Wha?” She mumbled into the phone, trying, and failing, to not wake her wife.

“Zelda,” came Malon’s clipped tone through the receiver, “do you know about a missing person’s case for one Jerimiah Smith?”

Zelda blinked heavily, and had to convince herself not to go back to sleep. Who, why did Malon care? It was five am, the sun wasn’t even up yet.

“Why?” She asked to buy time, still working on a quarter of thought. Ruto rolled over and held her. Not helping, Ruto.

“I have a Link Smith in my barn claiming that his grandfather went missing, and he’s run away from a temporary foster home,” Malon explained, and okay that was worth waking up for.

Lullaby sat up, pushing Ruto’s arm from her waist to her lap, causing her wife to grumble, and turned on the lamp, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. “Okay, okay pause. Pause and back up,” she half-swallowed a yawn, squinting into her bedroom. “What is going on?”

“I got up to do some work, since Link is still asleep, and I came into the barn to find a boy asleep in the hay, here you are,” her voice dropped away from the receiver, likely talking to the boy in question, then came back. “So I found a boy in the hay, and I woke him up. He says his name is Link Smith, and he was living with his grandfather since his father was overseas in the military. His father wasn’t home enough to care for him, so his grandfather had sole custody after his mother died or something, there was a lot of tears at this part. Anyways, his grandfather went missing a week ago, and he’s been through three foster homes and none of them were very accepting of, he apparently has a ‘mental thing’ that he’s dealing with. I was wondering if you could confirm his story?”

Lullaby leaned over the bed, grumbling, and grabbed her laptop, Ruto giving up on getting her back to bed and sliding up the headboard with her to drape over her shoulders while she pulled up Firefox. “Hold on,” she told her sister in law, plugging the name into Google. Jeremiah Smith, went missing a week ago, blah blah blah, oh there we go.

Link Smith, grandson of Jerimiah Smith, left in limbo after his grandfather’s disappearance. Oh, that was interesting. According to this article, which most certainly was breaking some privacy laws and if Link Smith was staying it would be coming down, the boy had multiple personality disorder.

“Yeah, he’s telling the truth,” Lullaby said, switching the phone to her other ear so Ruto could nuzzle up better without bumping it. “Also, I found his weird ‘mental thing’. According to this article, which I’m pretty sure isn’t legal, he’s got dissociative identity disorder,”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Ruto mumbled, still mostly asleep on her shoulder.

“No, not really. He’s actually more likely to be in danger than a danger,” she twisted to kiss her wife’s head, then went back to Malon. “He probably really needs someone who’ll be supportive enough through all this, both the disappearance and his condition. DID isn’t something easy to live with, I can see him having some issues with foster parents,” Lullaby had never been so glad that she got bored one day and decided to look it up after she heard people talk about it so negatively. You never know when information like that would be useful.

“He’s fine to take in?” Malon whispered after a moment. “I just, the other boys,”

“Will need to be patient, but unless one of his alters is particularly bad for dealing with threats, perceived or otherwise, in an unkind way then he’s fine and safe to be around. I’d ask him about that, but don’t force him to admit anything that can be bad for him, but I don’t see any more risk than taking in Wild or Legend,”

Malon sighed on the other end of the line. “Alright, I’ll bring him in and wake up Link, so he can call Rauru about all this while I sit with him and try and get him to relax,”

“Wonderful, I’ll call the office and see about what I can do about this article then. And for the record, if you ever call me at asscrack of dawn o’clock in the morning again, then next time we meet I’m clocking you,”

Malon had the nerve to laugh.

Four, as he’d been nicknamed by the time Lullaby and Ruto showed up to meet him, was a fascinating person. Green, the host of his system, was a brave, if occasionally airheaded, boy who wanted to try everything, and had been fascinated by his grandfather’s old-timey forge. Time had plans to make one in the yard for him. Red, the emotional and spiritual protector of the system, was empathetic and sweet and compassionate. No one had a bad word to say about Red. Vio, short for Violet, was the gatekeeper for the system and kept the four of them working on the same page. Bright and clever boy, his nose stuck in a book most of the time and willing to offer up the most random and yet useful information. Blue, the physical protector, was a little gruff and definitely someone you just got used to, but he cared deeply about his ‘brothers’ as they called each other, and the external brothers he acquired grew on him quickly enough too. It was a bit of a fight to get custody of him, but Rauru was the best there was, so it was only a week or two before the paperwork was going through for him.

Lullaby had a feeling this wasn’t the end by a long shot, and prayed that Hylia would be merciful about granting Time’s wish for a family.

She was going a little overboard.

(---)

Sheik wasn’t surprised in the least at the newest addition when he walked in the one day. No, mostly he was just confused as to why he hadn’t gotten a phone call before he got there.

Usually there was a phone call.

He was very upset by the way the boy looked, however.

This new addition, Warriors as he’d learn later that Time acquired yet another Link, was curled up in the corner of the couch with his scarf wrapped around him like a blanket, clearly trying not to be seen. Voices floated out of the kitchen, and Sheik picked up that Twilight brought him home, and was lobbying for a new brother.

Ah, that’s why there was no phone call.

Ruto went to investigate the conversation, so Sheik decided to introduce himself to his newest nephew.

Upon closer inspection, the boy looked about Twilight’s age, and had a bruise on his temple, maybe a day or two old now. Looking closer saw a few more on the left side of the boy’s face. Someone hit him, with purpose.

Sheik sat down next to him and said nothing, waiting for him to make the first move. Eventually, he poked his head out of his scarf.

“Hello,” Sheik offered once it became clear he wouldn’t be saying anything.

“Hullo,” he mumbled into the fabric, glancing away and back at his feet.

“My name is Sheik,” Sheik offered lightly. “Time is my brother,”

The boy looked up, eying him. “Twilight is your nephew?”

“Yes, he is,” Sheik nodded, smiling at him. “You’re a friend of his?”

The boy shrugged. “Kinda,” a beat of silence passed, then he shifted around. “He said I’d be safe here,”

“You will be,” Sheik agreed, trying to be comforting. “I can assure you of that,”

He hummed and snuggled back into his scarf.

“May I, if this isn’t overstepping, can I ask why you need somewhere to be safe?” Sheik asked after a moment.

He tensed up, eyes darting to him and at the doorway, and then back, wide eyes a little panicked.

Sheik was just about to apologize when the boy spoke.

“I ran away from home,” he admitted, looking away. “My uh, my parents aren’t, great people. I can’t go back, so I need somewhere else to go. Twi said I could be safe here, that his parents would fight for me,”

“They will,” Sheik said with enough conviction it almost startled him. “I know my brother, and he can’t turn away from someone in need, and his wife is the most strong willed woman I’ve ever met. You won’t find another pair of people more willing to go to war for you than them.”

He blinked at Sheik, then nodded, relaxing a little. “And, if my parents come for me?”

Sheik grinned. “My family is very rich, and we have a small army of very good lawyers. You won’t be going back there, I assure you,”

He smiled, and leaned over towards Sheik a little. “I’m Link,”

Of course you are, Sheik thought. He held out an arm for ‘Link’ to lean into, not getting attached to the name since it would be changing. The boy leaned into his side easily, deflating against him with a sigh. He looked so tired.

“Link,” Sheik asked carefully, watching his words. “Can I ask about the bruises on your face?”

The boy blinked up at him, biting his lip.

“They uh, my dad did that,” he admitted in a small voice, curling into Sheik’s side, and the sheikah pulled him in close to his side, hoping to provide the comfort Link was seeking. “Right before I left. I packed up and went through the window. My twin sister is still there, and I’m a little worried about her, but I can’t go back again. I, he,” he paused, sucking in a breath. Sheik rubbed his arm and side, trying to help him calm down, ignoring the tears on his shirt.

“I thought he was going to kill me,” Link finally admitted in a small, scared voice.

Sheik knew he never had very many parental instincts, and he and Ruto agreed no kids before they even got engaged, but for the first time ever Sheik felt that flare that Time and Malon described everytime something threatened their kids. It was then and there Sheik decided this boy would be part of their family, whether Time was the one who took him in or not. No kid should have to say that and mean it. No kid should be scared their parent was going to kill them.

Oh, the lawyers Sheik was planning on bringing down on whoever these assholes were would be many.

Time took the boy in, as Sheik predicted (thankfully), and sure enough the immediate support was immense. His parents never even put out a missing persons report. Sheik added child negligence to his list of growing charges to lay out.

Two months after Warriors moved in, he got a call from his sister. She got out and was safe now, and wanted to be sure he was as well. This made him very relieved. They met up once or twice, and seemed to be getting back to normal.

Two weeks later, Legend and Wild got suspended distracting Warriors’ parents so Twilight could sneak him out the back of the school. Four didn’t get suspended, but only because when Vio messed with the security cameras to cover up the escape he didn’t get caught. Time took all three out for ice-cream and junk food when he picked them up.

Lullaby saw an opportunity and took it without hesitation. Lawyers were called and organized, and without much wait there was an order for both of them to appear in court on child abuse and negligence charges. The kidnapping charge laid against them in retaliation was almost laughable.

A few weeks later, Time and Malon had full custody of Warriors pending a proper criminal trial for full punishment of his parents, at which time Linkle, Warriors’ twin sister, planned to testify as well. If they couldn’t get things settled before Warriors turned 18, then they planned to push through an adult adoption the day he did. A birthday present, Time had said. Lullaby laughed.

(---)

Sky was probably the most skittish of Time’s sons.

Lullaby wasn’t sure entirely why he was so skittish, but he was. He reminded her of a bird, or a rodent, or a cat who really, really didn’t want to interact with new people.

She had been briefed before she visited on Sky’s background. His social worker had been having trouble setting him up with a home where he’d stay for longer than a week or so, and in a last ditch effort had asked Time and Malon, with their long track record of housing troubled and unhousable youths, if they could take one more. They agreed.

Sky apparently had a friend, a bit of a troublemaker if Lullaby guessed correctly, who had gotten the two arrested. Time mentioned the event had Sky concerned about being ‘too much trouble’ and that ‘they’d get rid of him too’ or something. Time said this was ridiculous, as Sky caused him the least amount of trouble, but the boy was concerned about being thrown away again. He apparently had a few self-worth issues.

Lullaby found him on the back porch talking to the birds. Not in any human language, mind you, and Lullaby spoke many, but cooing and chirping back at them. He seemed very happy and at ease like that, singing at the birds.

“Do you mind if I join you?” She asked in a whisper during a pause in the conversation.

Sky jumped, eyes wide, and he squirmed a little when he saw her. “Uh, sure, I guess,”

She sat on the other end of the bench next to him, and calmly went back to watching the birds, and him interacting with them. He seemed much more at ease here than he did with people.

“Did you need something?” He asked, after a while, letting a blue jay grab a peanut from his hand.

“Not specifically,” she shook her head. “I had wanted to meet you, but nothing else,”

He blinked at her a little dumbly.

“Why would you want to meet me?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” She asked back, not sure what he was trying to say.

“Well, I mean, I’m not exactly special. And, it’s not like I’m staying,”

“I think you’re pretty special, most people can’t get birds to land on their hands like that,” Lullaby said gently, not liking how he spoke about himself. “And why would you think you aren’t staying?”

“I never stay,” he admitted, turning his eyes back to the birds, frowning. “No one ever considers me worth the effort,”

“You are very much worth the effort,” Lullaby countered, trying her best to keep her face soft instead of pinching up. “Trust me, however much effort you are, it is nowhere near the level of your brothers. Time wouldn’t have taken you in if he didn’t want you,”

“He’s just doing Impa a favour,” he said glumly, offering up more birdseed to the birds. “I won’t be staying forever,”

“I’m sure my brother has explained why that’s bullshit,” Lullaby said bluntly.

“But, I got arrested,” he mumbled.

“So have three of your brothers,” Lullaby pointed out. “Regularly. For much worse things. I promise you, that is not an issue,”

“But,”

“If you are going to say something bad about yourself again then I’m telling you right now I’m not going to listen to it,” Lullaby cut him off. “Time has told me a lot about you, and all of it is how much he loves you,”

“Really?” Sky looked up at her.

“You cause him the least amount of headaches of all his sons,” Lullaby smiled. “He adores you,”

Sky turned away, clearly trying to think that over.

“How about you tell me more about the things you enjoy doing,” Lullaby suggested.

“Huh?” Sky asked, turning back to her.

“I’d like to get to know more about what makes my nephew happy,” she smiled.

“Why?”

“Well, I’d be a bad aunt if I didn’t, especially since you’ll be sticking around,”

Sky looked like he didn’t believe her, but told her about his woodcarving anyways.

Lullaby was happy that as time went on Sky became less skittish and self-deprecating. He was a sweet kid, and as he got more comfortable and confident more of his true colours started showing through.

She felt a bit bad for Time, though. Apparently he was as prone to chaos as his brothers, he was just more subtle about it.

Time brought it on himself though. He should have known this when he adopted six boys.

(---)

The call about the next son had Lullaby’s head hitting her kitchen table, groaning loudly even when Ruto came to check on her.

Wild found a boy in the woods and they’d decided to keep him.

This was getting to be just a bit too much.

When Sheik and Ruto got to meet the boy, they were a bit taken aback. They had expected another Wild.

What they got was a quiet boy who mostly kept to himself. He was a bit shy, but he seemed to open up a bit more around Wild and, amusingly, Legend. He was a bit jumpy, but considering they had no idea how long he was in the woods that was expected.

What was surprising them most was that he did actually have a mother, who loved him very much, but who was very sick and so wasn’t able to actually take care of him, thus the wandering in the woods. His mother had been very worried, but physically unable to look. She had asked family to check but they gave up pretty quickly.

In light of her family being horrible for taking care of her son, and not knowing if she’d survive her illness, she asked Malon and Time if they could take care of her son for her since she clearly couldn’t trust her relatives and the boy’s father had abandoned them the moment she decided to keep him.

Time and Malon had taken one look at the boy and their sons, and agreed. They worked out an arrangement to keep the boy’s mother in the loop, and then they called Rauru. After which Time called his sibling.

This boy’s name was also Link. Sheik did not feel bad about laughing. Really, his brother had the weirdest luck.

They, for some reason, decided his nickname would be Hyrule. Why they decided to name him after the country, Sheik didn’t know. Apparently it was the only nickname he liked.

He had trouble reading, but he liked learning, especially if he could use what he learned to help people.

He fit right in, which made Sheik wonder exactly when his brother was going to stop adopting. He hoped it was before the ranch house ran out of room.

(---)

Eight. He stopped at eight.

Which was still too many, in Sheik’s opinion, but whatever.

The newest hellraiser at least didn’t come from the streets like almost all of the others.

This Link (because yes, his name was Link too) had recently lost his parents and his grandmother couldn’t financially support both him and his sister. So Time and Malon agreed to take care of him for her. The rest of their sons all acquired a grandma as well, it seemed.

They nicknamed him Wind, and he immediately latched onto his older brothers and started giving his new parents headaches.

When Lullaby and Ruto showed up next, she felt no sympathy for her brother. He brought this on himself.

She was more than a little pissed off when the brat stole her wallet though. Damn thief.

Time assured her that they’d talk to him about it. Lullaby wasn’t sure that’d help.

But, she reasoned, despite the chaos, Time was happy. Practically giddy. He lit up whenever he spoke about his sons, and he clearly loved them dearly.

Hylia had granted his wish for a family. She maybe went a bit overboard, but as long as Time was happy, so was Lullaby.

(---)

She wasn’t commenting on the ninth kid. She refused.

At least his name wasn’t ‘Link’.

167 notes · View notes

gay-otlc · 4 years ago

Text

Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 2)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, food, L*ura

Word count: 2005

Notes: Check out the beautiful theme song here!

(Read on AO3)

Sophie rolls her eyes as she opens the link her girlfriend sent her and puts in her earbuds. Biana has been incessantly pestering her to watch Keepers of the Chaos for so long that Sophie half wants to watch it just to shut her up, but she's always tired, or busy, and she doesn't really like watching new things. Still, Biana asked her very nicely to listen to this one podcast, and she looked very pretty when she asked, so Sophie's dumb omni ass couldn't refuse.

"Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," it begins after loading for an obnoxiously long time. The girl speaking has a pretty voice, Sophie has to admit- sweet and melodic and vaguely amused.

Maybe listening to this podcast won't be so bad if she can listen to that girl's voice the whole time.

But another person speaks, adding "Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," and his voice is not as pretty. She continues listening anyway, since Biana may or may not murder her if she stops.

The two voices- whose names are Linh and Tam, apparently- start talking about Keepers of the Chaos some more, giving Sophie a summary she's heard tons of times from Biana and Fitz- though the twins explain it slightly more coherently and with less... whatever the verbal equivalent of keyboard smashing is. Biana usually starts rambling about her favorite characters, like Lynn- not "Lynn the fandom mom," but the other Lynn- and Avery, or sometimes Nora and Darwin. Sophie doesn't understand any of those names and loses track of the conversation as soon as it involves too many unfamiliar names.

But Tam and Linh are making more sense, at least for the most part, until they start mentioning specific couples. The conversation gets again comprehensive soon enough, though, and Sophie does smile at the name "The Dark Duck."

By the end, when Tam says "half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement," Sophie is curious enough to be mildly intrigued. She listens to their outro music, and before she can regret it, types out a text message to Biana.

Sophie: fine

Sophie: ill watch it

Biana responds instantly with an array of heart emojis. Sophie blushes.

Biana: can i come over and watch with u?

Sophie: ok!

Sophie: moms making mallowmelt

Sophie: but u cant have any

Biana: >:(

Biana: hope u like being single then

Sophie: fine u can have some mallowmelt

Biana: yayyyy!

Biana: ily

Sophie: ilyt

Sophie: now lets watch ur stupid show

Biana: on my way!!!

Sophie smiles, shaking her head. She's a little annoyed, but fine, it sounds interesting enough from the podcast. And what else would she be doing? Studying? Having US history as an alternative would make even the most horrible of shows seem good. She stuffs her textbooks into her backpack and shoves some things out of the way so her room looks a bit neater before rushing downstairs. The mallowmelt smells good enough to make her mouth water.

"Mmm..." she sighs, barely taking time to let it cool off before taking a large bite. "That's so good. Thanks, Mom."

Edaline smiles. "You're welcome. Just save some for your father and I."

"Fine, fine. I have to share with Biana, anyway." Sophie huffs and takes another bite. "She's coming over, is that alright? We're going to watch a show together."

"Sure, just make sure to get your homework done."

Sophie rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"And keep the door open!" Grady calls. Edaline laughs as Sophie's face flames.

"I'm going back to my room," she grumbles, taking a plate of mallowmelt with her and walking up the stairs. She manages not to trip over her own feet and drop the mallowmelt, thankfully, as she grabs her laptop and opens Netflix. Sighing, she searches for Keepers of the Chaos and clicks on the show that comes up before waiting for Biana to arrive.

The doorbell rings soon, and Sophie carefully sets down her laptop and her plate on her bed before rushing down the stairs. Panting slightly, she opens the door for her girlfriend. Biana's wearing a t-shirt with the Amsterdam flag on it. Sophie has no idea why. Maybe Biana likes the country? Her girlfriend is pretty weird. "Come on in," she says, realizing she's been staring. In her defense, Biana is pretty and Sophie is very omni.

"Ready to go watch Keepers of the Chaos?" Biana asks. She bounces on her toes slightly.

"Alright," says Sophie. "I set it up on my laptop in my room."

"Awesome! You'll love it."

Sophie follows Biana up the stairs and into her room. They sit on the bed together, Sophie leaning against the wall and Biana leaning against Sophie, and Biana presses play. Somber kazoos begin playing in the background as the theme song starts.

We're on the edge of chaos

No one is straight

We're making fanart

Because L*ura we hate

And we're gonna have teal eyes in the end!

We must be weird, and we must be gay

(We must be gay!)

We will find every bit of sanity that we have

And give it all to Lynn

Ohhhh

We must be gay!

Biana dances a little along with the song, and Sophie can't help but smile. A curvy, round-faced person with short dark hair and colorful earrings plays a few notes on the piano, and then a KEEPERS OF THE CHAOS logo flashes across the screen. Then, a group of students sit in a classroom.

"Shai! Tater! Lynn! You three finally got together?" says the same person who just played piano, gesturing to a redhaed wearing a Sappho lesbian flag cape. She's holding the fingerless-gloved hand of a lanky person with brightly colored hair, and they're holding hands with a tall girl who has chin length brown hair. The rest of the class applauds the fiancees before returning to their own conversations.

"Yep! Thanks, Ink," says Tater.

Ink smiles at them and turns to a person with light brown skin and golden hoop earrings partially covered by long dark hair. "Hi, Kiri, how was your break?"

"Good! Here's to a good 2021?" Kiri turns to the person next to them. "How about you, Ref?"

Ref has short brown hair and red glasses. "Yeah, my break was dOPE," she says, leaving everyone to wonder how he did that with their voice. "oH, and happy belated Hanukkah to Shai!"

"Thanks, you too. And guess what! I didn't set my hair on fire this year!"

A short guy with strawberry blonde hair looks concerned. "Um. Congratulations?"

"Thanks, Sam!"

Sophie looks away from the screen and at Biana. "There are a lot of characters..." she mutters.

"Yeah, but you get to know them well enough eventually," says Biana. "Now shh, let's keep watching!"

A lot of other characters are introduced in various conversations, and Sophie's brain has a hard time keeping track of them all. She does remember Tara, a curvy, bored-looking girl with long sideswept bangs, and Blue, a bisexual who may or may not be an arsonist. She doesn't know either of their personalities very well yet, but she likes them so far. Lucat, a pale, blue haired asexual, who later joins the Hanukkah conversation, also seems cool.

Once quite a bit of introductions are done- Sophie lost count at around twenty something- are over, an announcement comes over the school's loudspeakers.

"Welcome back, Tumblr High School!" announces a voice. "I hope you all had a good break. Now, the Tumblr staff have an important announcement for you all. High schools in this county, like ours, Pinterest High School, and Instagram High School, will be holding a competition. All members of the winning team will receive a scholarship to AO3 college. If you are interested, meet in room 69 after school. Now, onto other announcements..."

Somber kazoos play again as the principal's droning voice fades into the background. A montage of the previously introduced characters wishing they could go to AO3 college moves across the screen. After a few minutes of them zooming through school and talking about how fucking boring it is, all of them gather in the room (some of them with more jokes than others) to discuss the competition.

A blonde woman welcomes them into the room. They wait a while to make sure no one else will arrive, but once everyone is there, the woman clears her throat. "Hello, everyone! I'm glad you're interested in joining the competition. My name is Shannon Messenger, and I'm in charge of admissions at AO3 College. My coworker L*ura and I designed this competition."

Sophie gasps and looks at Biana. "L*ura? But isn't that the person they hate? They said that in the intro!" Biana smiles at her, and she blushes as she realizes that she's kind of... maybe... invested in the show now. She decides she'll endure the "I told you so"s later and looks back at the show, trying to telepathically tell the characters not to trust this L*ura person... and perhaps not Shannon either. It's too early to tell whether Shannon will be an antagonist or not.

"All of you will be working as a team to write a story together. The main premise is that a twelve year old girl named Sophia is a telepath, but she can't tell anyone her secret. Then, she meets a teal-eyed boy named Finn, and he tells her that she's an elf. She travels back to the elf world with him, where she struggles a bit at the elf school Firefox, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. There are other details to be included into the story, which will be given out to the participants as a packet. The object of this competition is not to determine your ability at coming up with story ideas, but your ability to work in groups and execute well developed ideas. Does anyone have any questions?"

Someone raises their hand- a short, tanned girl. "Lynn?" prompts the principal.

"Did you say the rebel group was named the Dark Duck?"

"And the Rarelynoticed?" adds another person, with rectangular glasses and a red bracelet.

"Raise your hand before speaking, Auran," scolds the principal. "But yes, those are the names."

"Alright then," Auran mutters.

"Unless anyone else has questions, we'll be sending out sign up forms for everyone interested, and then we will distribute the information packets about your story. You can talk to each other and start planning."

No one else has questions, so once they've all filled out the sign up form, they gather in small groups and flip through the packets, making sarcastic comments or mocking names ("'Rarelynoticed' though-" a stylish hijabi named Raiin sighs as they come across a page of information about the group) as they try to form some semblance of a plan. Once they all agree that they've made a lot of progress, they make plans to meet up again soon and walk back home.

Unbeknownst to them, a pair of ominous teal eyes watch from above.

Somber kazoos play once again, and the credits roll.

"So, what'd you think?" Biana asks as Sophie closes her laptop.

Rather inaudibly, Sophie mumbles "It was good."

"What was that?"

"It was good! I liked it!"

Biana grins. "I told you so." She leans over and kisses Sophie on the cheek. "Thanks for watching it. I have to go do some homework, awesome seeing you!" As she walks out, Sophie hears her singing under her breath. "We must be gay..."

#tumblr kotlc fandom fandom #keepers of the chaos #shai types things #cursing tw #we must be g a y #shai's writing

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irkenheretic · 5 years ago

Text

(How I Learned) How To Read Irken: A Guide

(Pictured: Us....) (From @zimgay ‘s lovely animatic!)

Okay, I’m finally making this post.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you might have caught on that I can read Irken. When I started, I was completely confused over wether or not I was teaching myself correctly, how long it’d take, et cetera. But I’ve finally hashed it out for myself, and I thought:

Why not make a guide for anyone else who wants to learn but has no idea where to start?

So that’s what I’m doing. Some disclaimers, though:

- This is what worked for me. It may or may not work for you, I’m not sure. I think it’s a pretty good method, though.

- Reading Irken and Writing Irken are two different skillsets. I’m gonna show you how to do both, but don’t worry if you’re better at one than the other.

- This will probably take a while of daily (or near-daily) practice to learn. It’s not impossible, it’s not super challenging, but it’s not super easy, especially if you have memory problems like I do. (For context: I started in September. But I also have a really shitty memory so, like. It might take less time for you.)

Okay! Let’s do this!

First off, you’d probably do well downloading the Irken font for practice purposes. Messing around with it and typing in it is fun, and can help!

You’ll also need a notebook. It’s not required, but having it all in one place is super convenient. (And, if it’s tiny enough, you can carry it around whenever, and also have it on hand to whip out at cons.)

The first thing I did was write each individual letter over and over and over again. This is what’s at the start of my notebook, and writing the letters over and over helped me remember which were which. I also had to focus pretty hard on what letter this actually was, this is tedious as hell but it’s not something you can do mindlessly.

(Pictured: Normal levels of interest in a show.)

This is what my notebook looks like. Don’t worry about those simplified versions of the letters yet, but you’re gonna wanna leave room for them. Don’t worry about learning simplified/handwritten until later, it helps recognition if you really have to focus on actually drawing the letters, at first.

(And yes, I know my pen is really smudgy. And that my H’s suck.)

After this, three letter words are your friend. Pick just, common three letter words you know, and write them down a lot. I have just, the Irken for “THE” written in the margins of my class notebooks a TON. Once you feel like you can remember that word well, go onto another 3 letter word with a different set of letters. Recognition = good, so pick something you like, use all the time.

While I was doing this, I tried to string together Irken letters I knew into like, coherent phrases. I was very bad at this at first. Acronyms are your friend here, lmao. (I don’t think I can count the number of times I’ve written ‘u r a qt pie’ in my notebooks.) It doesn’t matter what you write, just that it makes coherent sense.

There are gonna be some uncommon letters that are gonna be hard to practice, like W and Z, off the top of my head. For Z, that was easy. I just wrote ZIM over and over and over. For W... I used UWU. You laugh now, but the absurdity of it cements that I will always recognize those two letters.

Four letter words are also good. (Please, absolutely write “FUCK” over and over in order to remember letters. I encourage it.)

There is also the absolute cuntwaffles. Y’know how in English, b, p, d, g, all look kinda the same? Yeah, Irken has that too.

(Pictured: Head hurting juice.)

The I and Z don’t look that similar now, but good luck without a translation guide. By this point, you should have memorized a good chunk of the Irken alphabet, and be able to recognize some others when you see them. If you’ve been writing common three- or four-letter words, it’s likely you’ve been using letters very common in the English language. Which brings us to our next stage, and the actual fun part:

READING!

You’re gonna want a translation guide on hand in these early stages, you will need it. The main goal of this stage is to read anything in Irken you can get your hands on- but start small! Fanart with Irken in it was a godsend to me. It’s not that long, so it’s not overwhelming. I did need to look up some letters at the beginning, and I read really slowly, but that’ll change quickly if you keep up with it! The specific fanarts I used are:

@inimoose ‘s The Last Irken comic, specifically chapter one: part one, and chapter two: part two have a lot of Irken. But I’d recommend reading the whole comic; it’s good!

@paketdimensioncomic ‘s page of lore for their comic! Spoilers, though. Again, I’d recommend reading through the whole comic, because it’s just that good.

@xryn-art ‘s Linguistic Au’s first comic has a good chunk of Irken! The other comics do have some, but it’s all translated. Still good practice, though, if you wanna... read them......... ;) ;) ;)

Yes, this segment was partially a way for me to plug my favorite fan-artists, (or at least the ones that use Irken,) sue me. It’s my guide and I make the rules here.

(I am very sorry if I bothered any of you by @’ing you.)

But just some sources isn’t enough, so I introduce you to browser fonts. And changing yours to Irken.

It will not effect everything in your browser, and it can be toggled on and off, so don’t worry. If you really want, you can download a separate browser to change the font of, and leave your normal one be. It’d be convenient if you could, since having your browser font be Irken is inconvenient if you need to use Wikipedia, like, ever.

Here’s a guide for that, for Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and Internet Explorer for some reason. You’ll see four options to change, I just changed all of them. Not every page is going to have Irken on it, though. For me, Wikipedia is all in Irken, and so is TV Tropes. And some Tumblr blogs (PAKet Dimension’s is one, just in case you need a reason to go back there ;)) But it might be different for you.

Whatever it is, now you have a nice way to practice. I read Wikipedia articles on stuff I already knew about (so I wasn’t completely lost and could figure out what letters I didn’t know were from context clues,) but not a page I’ve read before in recent memory- you might just be recalling what the page said, instead of actually reading it.

And about the absolute cuntwaffle letters: yes, this will help you in recognizing which are which. Seeing the letters in context is always going to be much more helpful than just, a bunch of meaningless squiggles floating in the void.

At this point, I personally am much better at reading than writing Irken. It’s one thing to know a letter when you see it, and another to recall it and write it down from memory. Right now, I’m trying to write song lyrics and dumb little phrases in Irken, to improve my writing skills. Again, nothing too long, don’t overwhelm yourself. This sounds stupid, but Vines are good. When I don’t remember a letter, I just leave it blank and look it up after I’m done.

Another thing that helps is having a friend to practice with, or someone to just give you Irken phrases for you to translate.

Once you’re around this stage, you can try to learn simplified/handwritten Irken. You can also try to learn it before this, I started it around when I started reading fanart for practice, it’s up to you. This guide is a good starting point, but you don’t have to follow it exactly. This is your handwriting, do what feels natural for you!

(Also, don’t even worry about speedwrite Irken. That has no place in this holy land and frankly I am scared of it.)

And that’s... pretty much it! Most of the process is just... practicing a lot.

If this post does well, I might make a server for people who wanna learn Irken to practice together and stuff. It all depends if anyone even wants to learn Irken.

EDIT: Well, guess what I ended up making just the next day. Here’s the post for the server, and please read the joining rules.

Also, if you wanna learn Irken numbers, here you go. But start with letters first, worry about numbers later. These are never used, aren’t even in the Irken font, and three of them look a lot like those cuntwaffle Irken letters.

Anyway I just really hope this guide helps someone out. If you do use it, tell me! And have fun learning Irken!! It really is just, a blast to do honestly.

#invader zim #invader zim irken #zadr #(for the animatic and one of the comics)#HHHHHUUUUUU IM NERVOUS TO POST THIS #ok. ok ok ok ok ok here goes. h.#live from conventia #if this is a godsend for even one (1) guy with a hyperfixation then i have done my job well

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whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 4 years ago

Text

Mortal Kombat 11 Michiko vs Canon intro fight dialogues pt 2

CW: PTSD mention Michiko, Reiki, Nozomi, and Krow are my OCs. Reiki is genderfluid and goes by she/him pronouns.

here you go @deepinthefog here is the rest of the dialogues

please read below the cut

Michiko: Just how sharp are your teeth Baraka?

Baraka: Sharp enough to tear through your bones.

Michiko: I’d like to see you try.

Michiko: So how long have tarkatans been around?

Baraka: Long before either of your kind.

Michiko: That’s not what the books in Fuyuka’s temple say.

Michiko: You may have blades, Baraka, but I have saws!

Baraka: But aren’t you scared of-

Michiko: werenotgonnatalkaboutthat!

---

Michiko: Cassie….Cage is it?

Cassie: The one and only!

Michiko: Oh good! Thought I had the wrong Cassie for a minute there.

Michiko: Did you and your dad really come up with “ship names” for Reiki and I?

Cassie: Yup! I propose the idea of… FireFox!

Michiko: .. oh by the gods.

Michiko: I heard someone’s got a little crush on a certain ice gal.

Cassie: Who told you I liked Frost?

Michiko: You did!

---

Michiko: For the last time. I. am not. From. the Netherrealm!

Cetrion: But wasn’t your mother a corrupted Nymph?

Michiko: Both my parents were corrupted and none of them are from the Netherrealm.

Michiko: Were you one of the Gods responsible for the massacre of the Karasugawas?

Cetrion: No, but I know of the Gods who were.

Michiko: Names. Now!

Michiko: Why are you crying?

Cetrion: I can sense great pain in you young one

Michiko: please don’t read any further…

---

Michiko: Did you seriously try to stab my fiancé!?

D’vorah: She tried burning the hive

Michiko: You keep your hive the fuck away from her!

Michiko: Are you seriously trying to say that you’re the one responsible for the massacre of the Karasugawas?

D’vorah: And this one will finish the job!

Michiko: Nice try D’vorah, but I know bugs hate fire.

Michiko: You hate fire, but do you like ice?

D’vorah: This one would like it to see a demonstration.

Michiko: Then you’re gonna get one!

---

Michiko: I have found something other than buzzsaws that I hate

Erron: And would that be, Michiko?

Michiko: Guns! Why are they so loud!?

Michiko: For the last time, I did not lie about what happened between me and Bi Han.

Erron: I was told y'all hooked up at the tournament.

Michiko: What idiot told you that?

Michiko: How much did my brother pay you?

Erron: He paid me half a million to bring ya home.

Michiko: So how much would I need to pay you to drop this hunt?

---

Michiko: I’m sorry, you want me to what!?

Frost: Take me with you and Reiki!

Michiko: Are you really willing to leave everything behind?

Michiko: Alright kid, rule number one, no keeping secrets

Frost: What if I just don’t want to talk about something?

Michiko: I can respect that.

Michiko: I need to know exactly what my brother and Bi Han have said about me.

Frost: All good things.

Michiko: I think you and I have two very different version of good things.

---

Michiko: Step aside Fujin.

Fujin: Whatever Cetrion told you, was a lie!

Michiko: I’VE SEEN THE DAMAGE DONE BY YOUR BROTHER AND THAT FIRE GOD!

Michiko: Do you still think I can achieve humanity Fujin?

Fujin: You were raised as one, so yes.

Michiko: Oh was I?

Michiko: Ok but like, do you know any Elder God that would bless Reiki and I?

Fujin: Michiko, they've been slaughtered by Cetrion.

Michiko: …. Oh. Damnit!

---

Michiko: Hey, how old would you say I look?

Geras: Without the knowledge of your origins, I say 31.

Michiko: You’re actually right.

Michiko: What does a demon benefit from a titan?

Geras: What did the Nymphs do for the Gods?

Michiko: Everything, with nothing in return.

Michiko: if there is no assurance for Reiki’s safety then I cannot work for Kronika

Geras: What if I told you, she could return your bloodline to you?

Michiko: I could not live with myself if Reiki were to die.

---

Michiko: How do you plan a wedding?

Jacqui: still working on that myself

Michiko: ah damn. Good luck though.

Michiko: Do you have any more relationship tips?

Jacqui: Boundaries and communication are key.

Michiko: We got the boundaries covered

Michiko: Normally I wouldn’t say this, but your arm enhamencents are cool!

Jacqui: What do you mean, normally?

Michiko: Have you seen what happened to the Lin Kuei?

---

Michiko: Where did you find all that information from

Jade: In a hidden temple on Shang Tsung’s Island

Michiko: So that’s where it is. I’ll have to inform Nozomi.

Michiko: So, why did you want to know if I worked for Quan Chi or not?

Jade: To see if you were friend or foe.

Michiko: I think you Mama Nozomi would get along.

Michiko: Ok, look, I’m not gonna beat in Hanzo’s head with your staff.

Jade: Then who’s head are you going to beat in?

Michiko: Sektor’s.

---

Michiko: What’s the worst form of therapy one could get?

Jax: Electric shock the-Michiko?

Michiko: I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean

Michiko: If you must know, my brother, Sektor, used to call me little birdie

Jax: Oh, is that still a good thing?

Michiko: Yeah it is. But you’re not telling him that!

Michiko: How’d you lose your arms?

Jax: It’s a long three part story.

Michiko: I have time.

---

Michiko: I never said you were cooler, I just don’t argue with children.

Johnny: You’re one to talk, kid!

Michiko: Fight me old man!

Michiko: So, what nickname should I give you?

Johnny: How about, Mr. Cool guy? No no! Superstar!

Michiko: I got it! How about, foolish star!

Michiko: Here you go!

Johnny: What is it?

Michiko: an invite to mine and Reiki’s wedding.

---

Michiko: The difference between life essence and souls is, you can live without one. Kabal: Which one?

Michiko: Would you like to find out?

Michiko: Just how fast are you?

Kabal: Faster than the speed of light.

Michiko: I would be impressed if I knew how fast that was.

Michiko: Your speed, my snow drift, let’s go! Kabal: When and Where?

Michiko: Right here! Right now!

---

Michiko: I’m sorry, my brother paid you HOW MUCH!?

Kano: Poor blokes desperate to get ya home.

Michiko: My home is with Reiki!

Michiko: Um, Kano, I’m not gonna bring you the medallion

Kano: Not like anyone would know you’ve gone back.

Michiko: That thing almost broke and I died the last time I touched it. So no!

Michiko: Look, if Reiki gets hurt, deals off

Kano: Look, Shang Tsung just need a bit of Reiki’s fire and we’ll be good to go

Michiko: Ok deal’s definitely off! When the hell was he involved?

---

Michiko: So you were adopted too?

Kitana: In my circumstances, unfortunately.

Michiko: Ouch! I feel that.

Michiko: Hey, who told you that I was called a princess?

Kitana: Noob Saibot.

Michiko: Oh of course he- wait what!?

Michiko: Reiki and I appreciate your refuge

Kitana: Must you go already Michiko?

Michiko: Until the hunt stops, Reiki and I must travel.

---

Michiko: Hey Kollector! Here’s your coin!

Kollector: I’ll teach you to throw ice balls!

Michiko: And I’ll teach you to try and mess with my mate!

Michiko: If you should know, I am a balance of both

Kollecter: I would still like my wage

Michiko: Ha! Fat chance!

Michiko: I would never be ally to those who hurt my Reiki

Kollector: She’s a seer and a Nymph! Do you not know the value she is worth?

Michiko: She’s my fiance!

---

Michiko: So you and Jade had history?

Kotal Kahn: It’s a long story.

Michiko: I don’t think there’s much story there.

Michiko: Give this to Kitana for me

Kotal Kahn: Why can’t you do it?

Michiko: I just learned a shadow is now after me, so I gotta dip.

Michiko: Heard you got defeated in the Snow Forest

Kotal Kahn: Sub-Zero and his Lin Kuei outclassed my legion

Michiko: Be lucky you encountered him, and not me

---

Michiko: You’re not standing in my way

Kung Lao: I can’t let you attack the temple of elements

Michiko: I have an appointment with two Gods, SO MOVE IT!

Michiko: If you have see my brother, turn him away

Kung Lao: Now why would I do that? He has to pay for Shaolin lives!

Michiko: Turn him away before he picks up on mine and Reiki’s trail!

Michiko: I wish I would’ve met Bo’ Rai Cho sooner

Kung Lao: I’m just still surprised that you managed to out drink him.

Michiko: That’s because he gave me regular alcohol instead of demon elixir.

---

Michiko: If you don’t move I will kill you

Liu Kang: Michiko, the monks, they can-

Michilko: I DON’T CARE, MOVE!

Michiko: Reiki’s fire is hotter than yours!

Liu Kang: A fire hotter than dragon’s fire?

Michiko: Hotter and deadlier!

Michiko: How does Bo’ Rai Cho hold that much alcohol?

Liu Kang: How did you not get drunk at all?

Michiko: I’m a demon. Regular alcohol doesn’t affect me

---

Michiko: You, Tanya, Reiki and me, double date!

Mileena: Ooh yes!

Michiko: Sweet! Tonight at 8?

Michiko: Bi Han and I never dated. We were just close before I died.

Mileena: He said you two made a promise.

Michiko: A promise that no longer means anything to me.

Michiko: Hey, thanks for not calling me a nymph in a mocking way

Mileena: Thanks for not calling me an ugly monster.

Michiko: That’s it. We’re friends and you’re gonna tell me everything bothering you

---

Michiko: I have had it! Move or die!

Nightwolf: I cannot not let you attack the gods!

Michiko: MY ONLY ISSUE IS WITH RAIDEN AND THE FIRE GOD!

Michiko: I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need your counsel!

Nightwolf: If you would let the Great Spirit help-

Michiko: Help me or hinder me from the truth?

Michiko: I hate that place and would rather it burn like my old home once did

Nightwolf: You would rather have innocents suffer over your anger?

Michiko: Why don’t you take the hourglass, go back about 31 years, and tell the two gods that!

---

Michiko: Keep the fuck away from Reiki!

Noob Saibot: I’m just trying to protect you!

Michiko: Protect me from what?

Michiko: You best keep my name out of your goddamn mouth, Bi Han!

Noob Saibot: You and I made a promise! It is best to honor that!

Michiko: That promise and our friendship was a mistake!

Michiko: I’m only letting you help cause Nozomi’s making me.

Noob Saibot: Oh she’s definitely Quan Chi’s daughter.

Michiko: Hey! We don’t say his name around her, got it?

---

Michiko: I want to tell you a little story.

Raiden: This should be interesting.

Michiko: It's a story of how two angry, petty, benevolent gods destroyed a bloodline and a village, leaving only one little girl to suffer the aftermath.

Michiko: You know of the lost realms?

Raiden: Someone I called my family was from one of those realms.

Michiko: It wouldn’t happen to be Krow of Hinpar would it?

Michiko: I’m not going to kill you! I just want my family back!

Raiden: I can’t do that-

Michiko: YOU OFFERED TO BRING BACK THE SHIRAI RYU! WHAT MAKES BRINGING BACK THE BLOODLINE YOU DESTROYED ANY DIFFERENT!?

Michiko: You’ve dealt with a cryomancer, but have you dealt with an ice demon?

Rain: What’s the difference?

Michiko: THERE ARE SEVERAL!

Michiko: I’m not buying that you want me as your ally for one minute.

Rain: If I made you my servant, Nozomi would kill me.

Michiko: Ok, that I can believe.

Michiko: in case no one told you, I don’t worship. I work with

Rain: You best treat Nozomi like the Goddess she is you imp!

Michiko: Hey! Watch it with that word!

---

Michiko: Don’t try to stop me Hasashi!

Scorpion: I’ve lost my family too Michiko. This is not the way to go about it.

Michiko: You at least got to know them before they died!

Michiko: You weren’t entirely wrong about it being of a Nymph, but why did you guess that?

Scorpion: Because Reiki is of Nymph origins too, and your ice matches his fire.

Michiko: I… I haven’t thought of it that way.

Michiko: Hasashi, look, I appreciate your offer, but I can’t accept.

Scorpion: Reiki grew up in the Shirai Ryu! You’d fit right in!

Michiko: I have my daughter to consider too, Hanzo.

---

Michiko: Unbind my thoughts from Sektor’s now!

Shang Tsung: And if I refuse?

Michiko: You won’t live to take another soul.

Michiko: I will bring my family back! And you can’t stop me!

Shang Tsung: Why would I want to stop you? I find your in vain efforts amusing.

Michiko: You’re lying! The Karasugawas will be restored!

Michiko: Have you found my soul yet, Tsung?

Shang Tsung: Don’t you dare mock me, you pompous little imp!

Michiko: THAT’S IT! NO MORE MS. NICE DEMON!

---

Michiko: No Nymph nor demon would ever serve you

Shao Kahn: You and your Nymph wife will do so imp! Michiko: HE IS MY MATE AND YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!

Michiko: I may not consume souls. But I do eat life essence

Shao Kahn: What’s the difference?

Michiko: I’ll show you!

Michiko: Let me use your hammer

Shao Kahn: Ah! And why would I let a weak puny mortal touch my hammer?

Michiko: I’ll freeze you in a block of ice and kick you into the void if you don’t give me the hammer.

---

Michiko: I don’t care how much the Lin Kuei needs me, I’m not going back!

Sheeva: You would abandon your home? Your friends?

Michiko: They can handle themselves!

Michiko: Thanks for the training lessons

Sheeva: You certainly do not hold back

Michiko: Fight to the death or die fighting!

Michiko: Have you ever had a lover you fought for?

Sheeva: A queen I failed to protect

Michiko: I’m sure she holds no ill will towards you Sheeva

---

Michiko: Hey don’t worry, I’m not gonna take your screaming title.

Sindel: You can keep it!

Michiko: Aww, not even a friendly competition?

Michiko: Kitana Kahn of Outworld says she’d like to see you sometime

Sindel: That is wonderful to hear.

Michiko: I also know of a four armed queen that would like your company too

Michiko: Hey, you should go talk to Sheeva sometime

Sindel: But would she want to see me?

Michiko: I know she misses you more than anything.

---

Michiko: Sorry Skarlet, my blood’s not compatible.

Skarlet: I need no type. Just blood

Michiko: Ah, so you’re a type O.

Michiko: Wait, you’re of nymph origin too?

Skarlet: Blood nymphs.

Michiko: Huh, you really don’t hear about them a lot.

Michiko: You and Nozomi have really cool blood-bending!

Skarlet: You know of another blood bender?

Michiko: Nozomi is the best there is!

---

Michiko: You better back down Blade!

Sonya: Your God hunt ends here Karasugawa!

Michiko: Raiden got your future self killed! Why do you defend him?

Michiko: I will not repeat myself. I’m not going back.

Sonya: But Grandmaster Sub-Zero has specifically requested your help.

Michiko: He of all people should know why I cannot go back.

Michiko: How do I make my own legacy if I don’t want kids?

Sonya: You inspire others to be like you.

Michiko: I am the worst demon to follow. It’s not going to work.

---

Michiko: I can’t help you Kuai, I just can’t.

Sub-Zero: I know our last encounter with Sektor was shocking, bu-

Michiko: I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean

Michiko: Will you please get your brother off my back!

Sub-Zero: Michiko, you know Bi Han won’t listen to me.

Michiko: Not even as the Grandmaster?

Michiko: Where I was and where I will go is none of your concern Liang

Sub-Zero: Michiko please. Don’t leave me in the dark.

Michiko: It is best nobody knows.

---

Michiko: WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!?

Sektor: WHY YOU CAN’T COME BACK HOME!?

Michiko: You.. You really don’t understand do you?

Michiko: I won’t come back, but I will invite you to my wedding

Sektor: Thank you sister.

Michiko: Don’t push your luck.

Michiko: Was the binding of our minds really “fathers” idea

Sektor: Not entirely..

Michiko: I KNEW IT!

---

Michiko: When do you plan on marrying Sektor?

Cyrax: Sometime in the summer.

Michiko: Very specific Mykel.

Michiko: So.. how’s life as a cyborg going?

Cyrax: Awful.

Michiko: Thanks for the update!

Michiko: Hey, where’s past you?

Cyrax: Probably trying to flirt with Shi in the worst ways possible

Michiko: As if you don’t do that now.

---

Michiko: Hey, I may be leaving for good, but I promise you I-

Smoke: Wait, you’re leaving for good!?

Michiko: Tomas I have made it clear so many times that I do not like this place.

Michiko: Would you like to come to my wedding?

Smoke: Like to? I have to! I’m your bridesmaid.

Michiko: umm… that’s going to Frost..

Michiko: Hydro been over training you too, huh?

Smoke: Speak for yourself Karasugawa!

Michiko: At least he has a reason to do so with me.

---

Michiko: Can we take a break?

Hydro: Not until you master your ice

Michiko: I’VE MASTERED IT FOR NEARLY A DECADE NOW!

Michiko: Look, I appreciate your concern Bo Hai, but please don’t worry

Hydro: What if Reiki snaps and loses control of her fire? Michiko: That’s the beautiful thing about her, she’s not a monster like me.

Michiko: Where have you been all this time?

Hydro: Hunting your killers down.

Michiko: But, Hydro, I died in the tunnels below the temple.

---

Michiko: Ok, 1, didn’t realize you were flirting with me, and 2, I’m engaged

Sareena: Demons and Nymphs never work well together.

Michiko: I’M A NYMPH TOO!

Michiko: Your efforts are but in vain Vixen!

Sareena: Don’t you have the fox-like animal form?

Michiko: That’s not the point!

Michiko: You said there were other ways to release my pent of rage?

Sareena: Yes..

Michiko: Can any of them help me take down two gods?

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faterpresources · 3 years ago

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Anonymous:

Do you have any advice on how to start an rp blog? I feel like there's so much to do and so many specific things, it looks intimidating, but I really want to get into it (and your blog seems like a safe space to ask as a baby in the matter)

Hi! Thanks you for asking and for trusting. I do admit that rping on tumblr can look daunting and there is a series of things that are considered “etiquette” that might not be obvious for newcomers. And the only way to learn is to ask, right? As I’m not sure if you would like something more specific or a step-by-step, I’m going to go through the whole process.

note: this is a repost from an ask in a more reblog-friendly format

1. Setting up the blog

You might want to make a new e-mail account for each blog you want. I recommend making a gmail/google account, so you may be able to use other services and associate them with your blog. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

Some people would rather have a personal blog and then making the RP blog as a side-blog. Or a “hub” blog and many side-blogs so they have everything centralized. The downside is that you can’t follow people with side-blogs, only the main – and some rpers are a little suspicious of personal blogs, so if you intend to go this route it might be a good idea to state somewhere in your blog that you have a RP blog.

Tip : It isn’t said too often, but I recommend saving your blog’s e-mail and password somewhere, maybe a flashdrive or even google drive. This way, if something happens you will be able to retrieve your account.

When picking the URL, for a very long time tumblr had problems tagging URLs with a hyphen ( - ). I’m not sure if it has been fixed or if there are still some issues, so I recommend only using letters and maybe numbers. Other than that, pick anything that sounds nice to you!

Themes are nice, but not entirely necessary. Not everybody has photoshop skills and all that. Some people do have commissioned themes, but if you want to try your hand at it my first stop is usually @theme-hunter or @sheathemes . They reblog many themes from many creators, so there are always many options that might suit your needs. Some creators offer very newcomer-friendly themes that you can configure a lot of things without much hassle but some might require basic HTML knowledge – a few creators have guides on how to properly set up their themes and are willing to and answer questions, so don’t be afraid to contact them! You can also send me an ask, I’m not a specialist but I can certainly help walk you through the basics.

Tip: @glenthemes have very good themes and a basic installation guide here.

When fiddling with the options, try to pick colors that have nice contrast and are easy to read. If you are bad at picking colors or have problems in finding the code for them, I recommend trying this link. There is also this one that auto-generate palettes.

Tip : If you mess with your theme, remember there is the Theme Recovery.

Tip: If you use Chrome or Firefox you can set up different profiles and associate each with a different blog, so you don’t need to log out from any of your accounts.

There are two pages that I recommend having: one is an about your muse. If they are an OC, it is always a good idea to have at least some information out there to make things easier. If they are from a canon source, not everybody is familiar with the material so it might be a good idea to state. For example, if you are going to roleplay as Altria/Arturia, it is a good idea to have a “RP blog for Saber (Altria Pendragon) from FGO/FSN “ somewhere visible. The other page that is a good idea having is a rules/guidelines page. This one can be a little intimidating, but it is usually a way to communicate important things. For example: are you comfortable writing violence? Do you have any personal triggers? There is something you absolutely won’t write? There are things you may figure out along the way and it is absolutely ok to fine-tune this session every now and then. Some people also credit source for their icons and graphics in general in their rule/guideline page.

If you are using the tumblr default themes, when you create a new page you can turn on the option to show a link to the page. If you are using a custom theme, most of the time you will have to link it manually.

Oh, and if you are planning to do a multimuse, it might be a good idea to list which muses you have. The same goes for a hub blog; list the muses and link to the pages.

Icons aren’t necessary but are considered commonplace. You can find some icons I’ve done here but there are plenty of other sources. If you want to do your own icons, keep in mind to don’t make them too big, as a courtesy to your mutuals.

Tip: Anything larger than 300 pixels will be stretched to fit the post. As of today ( 4/29/2021 ) the posts are currently 540 pixels wide. This can be useful as making banners for your blog.

Tumblr allow users to “pin” posts. This mean that they will always visible if you access your blog, even on dash/mobile. You can use this to set up a post with basic links for mobile users or something else. For example, if you are out on vacations and won’t be able to do replies, you can pin a hiatus notice and then remove the pin once you are back.

2. Introducing yourself

Time to officially join the fun! (insert a “Hi, Zuko here” joke) Don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy promo graphic or anything, most people make their initial introduction with a simple post.

(as you can see, I’m not very good at saying ‘hi’)

Try to introduce yourself in a few lines, but make sure to state which muse you RP as. Some people also like adding their pen name/alias and establishing a brand. Follow as many people as you want that reblogged or liked your post, and tumblr is going to start recommending other blogs that are related to the tags you use normally or have any relation to the people you follow. You can put as many tags as you want, but tumblr will disregard more than 6 tags in their system. Try tags like “<fandom> rp” and “<fandom> roleplay” along with the media, such as “movie” “video game”, “anime” and so on.

It might also be a good idea to follow a few RP memes blogs. They often have options to break the ice, like one-liners that your mutual can send you.

Tip: Don’t forget to turn on the asks and the anon

3. Practical advice

Alright, now that you have a few mutuals, it is time to get to some general tips:

Tumblr can be a little “iffy”, and a great quality of life extension for RPers and navigation in general is installing the New Xkit extension. They offer a number of options to enhance your tumblr experience, but the ones I consider essential are the “editable reblogs”, “quick tags” and “blacklist”. Get it for Chrome or Firefox.

As a rule of thumb I recommend writing your RPs using Google Docs before posting or replying. By doing this you can do some spell check and if your browser crashes for any reason you can easily recover your work. You can also use Word, Open Office, or any text editor you feel like.

Because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I also have Grammarly ( Chrome / Firefox ) installed for an extra layer of spell/grammar check. There is a subscription option, but the free one works perfectly fine.

To make things easier to locate, always tag the URL of your RP partner when doing a reply. There are other useful things you can tag, such as open starters, memes, and such.

Risking being obvious here, but when you are not interacting as your character it might be a good idea to tag as “ooc” or “out of character”.

Some people like making google docs with basic info and other useful stuff for easier access on mobile. It is a recent trend, it might be easier to edit as opposed to going through tumblr page editor and dealing with the HTML. You can find some templates here and here.

Tumblr’s activity can be unreliable, so don’t be afraid of contacting your partner to see if they have gotten your reply after a few weeks. However, some people also enjoy using the RP Thread Tracker in order to be on top of things. It might be a good idea to check it out.

Because of Tumblr shadowbanning and shenanigans, it isn’t unusual for people to have NSFW sideblogs (sometimes referred as ‘sin blogs’). If you want to write smut, it might be a good idea to consider making one.

Some people don’t like replying to asks, as Tumblr won’t let you remove the initial ask. It has become common to see people making new posts to reply to asks. This is a simple example:

As you can see, I used the mention to have the RP partner notified then I copied and pasted their question on my post and used the quote to indicate it. You can also have fancy graphics, like a line to separate the contents, just do whatever you feel like with the formatting or keep it simple.

To make sure your partner got the answer, I recommend copying the link to the post and pasting on the ask and then replying it privately. An example sent to my rp blog:

4. Basic Etiquette

Ok, this is a little subjective most of the time but here are a few things that are considered universal courtesy.

Never reblog someone else’s headcanons. If you enjoy it, maybe it should politely contact the author and ask if it is ok to write something based on their original idea but you should never downright copy or lift something from another creator. It is considered rude, or even theft in some cases.

Don’t reblog threads you are not involved with. It is ok to leave a like, but never reblog. This is because Tumblr can mess up the notifications and disrupt the flow of the RP.

Don’t copy other people’s graphics. It is very rude and sometimes they commission (aka: paid) for it.

Trim your posts. What does that mean? Every time you reblog with a reply, the post tends to get longer and longer, and it can cluster your and your mutuals’ dashes. This is why the New X-Kit’s “editable reblogs” is an almost must-have tool. If for some reason you can’t install X-Kit (if you are on mobile for example), then remove the previous post or ask your partner to trim for you.

Never take control of your RP partner’s muse. This is called “godmodding” and it is heavily frowned upon. It is ok to control your muse and the possible NPCs that you inserted, but never seize someone else’s character. Likewise, it can also be very upsetting if you use what people call “meta-gaming”, applying knowledge that your muse shouldn’t know about the other. For example, let’s say your RP partner’s muse is a vampire, but they have never disclosed that information to your muse, who also doesn’t have an excuse to know that (for example, being a vampire hunter) so it can be quite jarring sometimes. When in doubt, contact your partner.

This should go without saying, but RPing sexual themes with users under the age of 18 are illegal. It doesn’t matter if the age of consent in your location is lower, once you join Tumblr you are abiding by their user guidelines and the law of the state they are located in. If you are an adult, don’t engage minors with these topics, maybe a fade to black would be a better option. If you are a minor, don’t insist or you might cause a lot of legal problems for others.

Try to tag anything triggering. Violence, gore, NSFW. Both Tumblr and the New Xkit have options to block keywords.

When picking PSDs or graphics for your blog, you should avoid templates that change the color of the skin of POCs muses and try to pick the right race/ethnicity of the muse you are going to RP as. I won’t go through a lot of details, as it is a rather lengthy subject in an already lengthy conversation but keep this in the back of your mind.

Some RPers don’t like when you reblog memes from them without sending anything. Try to always reblog from a source or to interact with the person you are reblogging from, it can be rather disheartening to be seen as a meme source rather than a RP blog. This isn’t a rule and some people don’t mind, but it is always a good idea to try to do this.

This might be more of a pet peeve of mine than proper etiquette, but it is ok to use small font. What is not ok is use small font + underscript. Some people have disabilities that might make it harder for them to read it, so it might be a good idea to refrain from using it. Maybe if you feel like doing something fancier every now and then, but I wouldn’t recommend making this a habit.

Mun and Muse are different entities. Remember that it isn’t because a muse does something (especially a villain one) that the mun condones something. Never assume anything about the mun, when in doubt talk to them.

Be mindful of your partners and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

As a rule of thumb, always talk to your RP partner. It is only fun as long both of you are enjoying it.

5. Closing Words

This got longer than I expected.

Despite all of that, don’t be too worried about not being very good at first. I assure you that you will get better with time, so don’t be afraid of experimenting as long you feel comfortable. And don’t be afraid of saying “no” if something bothers you.

My inbox is always open to questions and ideas, so feel free to contact me anytime!

I would also ask my followers: there is advice I missed/overlooked? Anything you would like someone have told you when you first started? Add your thoughts so I can update this.

Happy RPing!

#roleplay advice #roleplay help #rph #rp reference #rp resources

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #454

“last thing i remember, i was running for the door / i had to find the passage back to the place i was before”

Last thing you bought online? Did you like it? I have no clue. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? I don't know. Public transportation isn't a big thing here at all, and even whenever I get my license, my partner needing to get somewhere while I'm needed elsewhere could be problematic. I think it would also depend on why they don't want their license. Like if they had a traumatic wreck, I couldn't blame them. How would you react if your artwork became famous? That'd be fucking amazing. Would you get your nipples pierced? I've briefly considered it. I ultimately wouldn't, though. How many people know your birthday? Without the assistance of Facebook, a few, I guess. My immediate family, Sara, uhhhh... Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in? Yes, and it worked. For the better, though. He had a bad reputation. Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial? Ha, yes, this one time with Girt. It was a vacuum infomercial. We were just really bored at my place and... okay, I have no justification for watching that whole thing lmao. What is your current MySpace song? I still remember it was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmaooo. What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich? Ham. Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with? Sara or Jason, idk. How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I don't care. Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins? No. What was the most disturbing thing you have ever heard your mother say? Mom and my older sister got in a fight once and Mom yelled that she was a slut. I don't know why, but... it never left me, and I GUARANTEE it never left Ashley (who is not a "slut," by the way). This was when she was a teenager, so it's been many years and I can absolutely promise you Mom regrets it, big time. I don't even have to ask. Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? Mark and meerkats, ha ha. Chewy chocolate-chip cookies: like or dislike? Chewy is the way to GO. If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them? I wouldn't care. I'm pansexual, anyway. Anyone can be attractive to either gender's clothes to me. I think assigning clothes to a specific gender is dumb, anyway. Do you think your grandmother is/was beautiful? I only remember how my maternal grandmother looked, and yeah, she was a pretty lady. Which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on? Mark, ha ha. I know way too much on a person I've never met. When was the last time you got all dolled up? Not since last October when I did a witchy Halloween shoot with friends. Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.) No. Do you have a criminal record? No. Last person you took a nap with? Sara, years ago. Well, unless you count my cat. He always comes running when he hears me getting comfy in bed, ha ha. Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well? Yes, and angry because I want to stop whatever it is making her cry, but I usually can't. Do you think someone likes the same person you like? I have no idea. Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? God no. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes; I've adopted and rehomed pets from there. What about eBay? Mom's bought stuff from there. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It's just as exhausting as shaving with how thick my hair is. Are you medicated? I think I'm on too much medication, personally. I want to try weaning off my OCD prescription, because I haven't had problems in a long time, but my psychiatrist doesn't want to? Which is odd to me because when I came to him, he was stunned by how many different meds I was on. He's concerned that the symptoms will just re-emerge, but like... I've beaten OCD before, for many years. I can do it again. I trust him with my life though, because he saved it, so I just go with what he says, honestly. Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? No. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? I've worn Jason's pajama pants before because I found men's pj pants more comfortable, and besides, sometimes I spent the night when I didn't plan to and needed something more comfortable than jeans. Could you make a statement about anything political? Texas' new "heartbeat bill" is fucking bullshit and is going to get so many women killed from DIY abortions. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe I met the person I loved more than I could ever possibly love somebody else again. Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon? Fuck if I know. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? Yes. Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month? Yes. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? I have. How often do you go bowling? Very, very rarely. I haven't been since I was on a date at the end of 2017, I wanna say??? Or was it '18??? Last time you were in an apartment? Not since Colleen still lived in one and I was visiting her. Have you ever seen a live seahorse? Yeah, in aquariums. Would you like to have your own yacht? I mean I wouldn't say no if you offered it to me for free, but I'm not exactly interested in one. I'd probably just give it to my dad. He'd be on Cloud 9. Winnie the Pooh or Tigger? Pooh! :^) What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today? A brownie with caramel drizzle. Mom bought a box of them to split between Ash and her family and us, so I had one. :x Thankfully though she gave more to Ash, because I don't like having treats in the house for my weight's sake, but a little something sweet occasionally keeps you sane when you're trying to lose weight. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Ew, no. What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot? I'd really appreciate something hand-made, like a drawing or something. What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to? He likes mostly the same stuff as me, but also more indie-ish stuff than me. Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? Jason. His eyes are brown. Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? Supernatural. It's inevitable that I'll sing, ha ha. Do you eat dessert after dinner? Very, very rarely. Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day? No. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? I don't go out drinking, but if I was to order a drink right now, I'd go for a sangria. That sounds soooo good rn. What was the last animal that you saw? My cat. Venus is in her hide as I'm answering this, so I can't see her. What was the last thing that you said to one of your siblings? I told Nicole bye when she was leaving the other day. What is the most expensive thing that you’ve purchased that you paid for: My snake. What is your favorite messaging program? Discord, nowadays. Do you eat fast food more than 5 times a week? Yikes, no. Have you ever almost drowned? No. Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook? It wasn't shocking in a bad way, just very unexpected. One of my friends has been an egg donor twice, I wanna say? What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted? I have no clue. Nothing that dangerous. Well wait, I shared the story of holding a tarantula before, and I was still kinda nervous to do so when I did. She was a total sweetie, though. Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for? I actually don't. Other than he got my attention with "lip ring girl," lmao. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No, because they're all the same to me. If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it? I add a bit of sugar. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? *shrug* Choose one - Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Milky Way, 100%. Do you use Mozilla Firefox? No, I use Chrome. Who is your favorite person to hug? Sara. Have you ever had to have a mug shot? No. What was the last thing you carried to your room? Water. When was the last time you had a late night phone call? Damn dude, I couldn't possibly tell ya.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''hotel california'' by the eagles

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rpbetter · 4 years ago

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Traditional Writing Advice & RP

I see a lot of people reblogging writing advice posts, and while it pleases me to see people trying to appreciate RP as writing, those pieces of advice don’t always translate from traditional writing to RP writing.

Following the advice for writing a traditional book manuscript you want to have published, you are going to run into some issues if you follow every point of it faithfully in an RP setting.

For one thing, this isn’t just your story, you’re telling it with another writer. In RP, our reading audience and our writing partners are the same. We have to create well-written, engaging stories that are also meant to be picked up by someone else and furthered. For another, even among the most writing proficient RPers, this is a more relaxed style of writing for a reason; we’re writing neither a paper to be graded nor a work to be published, we’re expressing creativity with other people. It can fall flat quickly, to your writing partners and to yourself, if you are writing in an extremely formal manner in RP.

Writing is one of the creative pursuits that has lent itself heavily to what I’m going to politely call snobbery, and that is part of the problem here. The RPC is rather filled with muns who are self-concious, devalue themselves and their work, and can be desperate for the approval of being A Real Writer. If you love writing and you do write, you’re a writer. No, that definitely doesn’t make you a good writer, but following rules not meant for you isn’t going to make you one either.

There is a wrong way to write, actually, there are hundreds of wrong ways to write that make me want to rip my own face off on the regular. The thing is, there is no one-size-fits-all correct way to write any more than there is such a standard in visual art. There are principles that one should know and follow, but your style might be neoclassical or modern or impressionist. Saying that, in my personal opinion, things falling under the heading of modern-style art is horrid, thus inherently wrong and not art, I’d be imposing my personal aesthetics instead of encouraging people to follow appropriate principles, run with their passion and skill, and make art that moves people who are not me. That’s important, in general, but it’s even more important when we’re talking about creative art as a hobby-as a legitimate passion project one isn’t obliged to devote themselves to.

That’s the way we need to be looking at writing as well. Not as an academic and absolute Right Way, but as an art form that has principles, and indeed, literal form. By insisting otherwise, we’ve damaged writing as a hobby and a profession, and it really shows in the RPC where you have a rather stark division of muns who, on the one side, are so ate up with bizarre concepts their professor threw out about never using “said,” forcing the ideology of their personal academic experience on others, and using traditional writing advice as Word of God to shame others and elevate themselves. On the other side, you have a ton of muns who just won’t even bother anymore, and why should they? They’re genuinely not up to par, but working on it means both a process of shaming and killing their own creative experience.

In saying all this, I want to be really clear here: I am in no way saying that shitty writing, an inability to follow basic grammatical principles, being unwilling to use the damn spellcheck that is standard everywhere, and having no concept of things like storytelling, characterization, and word flow is excusable or ideal.

It isn’t. It’s a terribly destructive force in the RPC, and I’m not in the camp of excusing disinterest in learning, improving, and perfecting one’s hobby because it is an unpaid hobby. In my opinion, it’s part of the blight of the current RPC. However, the snobbery and inability to recognize that there is nuance to learning and writing situations has done nothing but worsen this issue.

So, that being said, some items that are 100% good to use traditionally and in RP include:

Grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

We’re not all native English speakers, and grammar is difficult anyway. It can also turn a story bland with expedience when too properly adhered to. Know the basic principles, but also, be asking yourself about both popular works of fiction and your own favorite works. Chances are, they do not strictly adhere to the rules. Experienced, naturally gifted, and learned writers all manipulate those rules to work for their stories, characters, world-building, and so on. It becomes a personalized writing style, and it’s alright if it takes you some practice to find yours.

Just remember, grammar exists for a reason. Removing or mutating too much will leave you with a difficult to read and understand mess that isn’t a style, just a fucking mess.

If you struggle with grammar, the best way to help yourself is to practice. Additionally, seeing what errors you are making can be quite helpful; Grammarly offers a free add on for both Google Chrome and FireFox that will show you spelling and grammar mistakes. It also explains the mistake, while offering you a suggested fix. This way, you can see the mistakes you’re making in action. {Presumably, there are other such resources, but since I have no experience with them, I’m not the one to recommend them.}

As I said above, spellcheckers are standard now, in fucking 2021. This has been standard on devices and browsers for so long that I highly doubt most people on tumblr even remember a time when you had to use additional software to have them.

You make a mistake or misspell, and if it isn’t corrected for you, it’s underlined very obviously for you to tap/click/float over to correct. If the word is so terribly misspelled that no suggestion comes up {not all spellcheckers are created equality; some do not recognize slang or relaxed spellings, archaic word use, myriad, particularly specialized jargon-legal, medical, technical-and so on}, we also live in a time period where we can highlight the word, right-click that bitch, and select from the menu the option to search for the word. If the word was so weirdly misspelled that your checker couldn’t figure it out, it is incredibly rare that Google doesn’t throw out the correct spelling when you search it. If the spelling was correct, but the word-use is slang, jargon, or archaic, Google is also going to tell you that-you’ve confirmed it is correct, and can now decide if you want to use it or pick a possible synonym for it instead.

There is no fucking excuse for egregiously misspelled words anymore. None. I mean...listen, I spell quite terribly myself, but no one reading my RP replies is ever going to know that fact. Having difficulty with spelling is not, and has not been for a very long time now, an impediment to writing.

Furthermore, we all miss a typo here and there, especially if we write lengthy novella. Those aren’t always going to be caught by spellcheck, and we might edit the reply five times without seeing it. That happens, it’s alright when it’s minimal! Anything other than that, though, it’s just a combination of rushing and laziness. You really couldn’t be assed to take your time with that reply, read it over at least once before posting, and/or to click the underlined word.

There. Is. No. Excuse.

Again, not all spellcheckers are the same. If you feel like yours is lacking, try an extension for your browser. Since I said it above, I obviously have Grammarly on my mine. My replies effectively go through three different checkers, actually. I write all drafts outside of my browser where it is initially checked by Pages, then, when I paste it into tumblr, it’s being checked natively and by Grammarly. It wasn’t my intention, I just wanted to be positive I was never losing a draft or cooking my ancient laptop with Google Docs. However, it’s been nice as hell to get the perspective of multiple checkers, and as such, I definitely recommend it. It isn’t like I’m putting any extra effort into this, and I’m not paying for Grammarly, either.

When you refuse to behoove yourselves of the spellchecker natively available to you, at least, you’re seriously telling your writing partners that they were not important enough for you to click a fucking word. It’s inexcusable.

Punctuation being nonexistent isn’t a writing style or aesthetic, neither is a refusal to capitalize anything. If never using a comma is part of your Aesthetic™, please, rethink your fucking life and the hobby you’ve chosen.

Punctuation is a part of grammar, and I understand that there can be complexities present that might be confusing. That is one of the reasons why you should bother to know the basics as regards when and how to use punctuation. It’s also another way in which telling people that they should adhere to advice meant for traditional and academic writing can be a shit idea. Especially in an RPC known to misunderstand shit and go overboard.

When you tell the RPC that writers use too many commas, the RPC stops using them all around. Especially, when you also attach this to the idea of evil “wordiness.” That’s something that the RPC is desperate to avoid anyway, as the majority of people here are allergic to reading and writing; anything you advise that lessens the word count for them is going to be grabbed and erroneously applied. Someone implies that wordiness and commas equals run-on sentences, and the RPC gets not only believes it, it gets this message, “if I take out the commas, it isn’t a run-on sentence.”

You have all fundamentally misunderstood what a god damned run-on sentence is. It’s not a long sentence, it isn’t a proliferation of commas. A run-on sentence is when two, or more, sentences that should be individual are conjoined without proper punctuation {a fucking comma, for example} or a coordinating conjunction.

Run-ons can be surprisingly short, in fact. As in the example I lifted from here, “I love to write papers I would write one every day if I had the time.“

That should be written with a comma, separated into two sentences, or broken with a comma and the conjunction “and.” It’s also what I see incessantly on my dash from this bizarre idea that we shouldn’t be using commas. That a run-on sentence is a very long one separated only by commas. That is literally not what a run-on sentence is.

You absolutely can use too many commas {if you want to read some examples of how to use commas, go here}, but I rarely see anyone doing so to such an extreme. The extreme being that a sentence becomes a nonsensical string of conjoined thoughts, ideas, and descriptions that could have been written better broken up into fully formed sentences. I sometimes see muns who go a little nuts with commas by putting them in wildly incorrect places in this way.

What I see constantly is either muns berating themselves for perfectly normal, readable sentence structure or muns reactively using no punctuation at all.

It is all legitimate run-on sentences or those made so short and blunt that they become nonsensical, change the tone of the writing, or have no flow together.

Which brings me to...

Sentence flow is a thing, and you should be doing it.

Unfortunately, this good writing advice tends to throw people. We’re not talking about the flow that needs to be present in academic sentence structure, or exactly the flow that is present in poetry. Though it may require practice to understand and apply well, it’s an incredibly simple concept.

You want to balance out shorter, blunter sentences with those that are longer and more flowing. It gives the text a pleasant, natural rhythm. However, it isn’t just about length, a thing that the RPC is weirdly fixated on. Rather, it’s about word use within those sentences as well.

It’s always important to write with a tone that works with your scene and, overall, with your muse. For example, in a tense, aggressive scene, or with a muse who is generally this way, it gets the message across to use short sentences and clipped words. We can feel the tension, annoyance, and threat.

Furthermore, the way your muse thinks about and uses words is relevant. A well-educated muse from the 1800′s isn’t going to have the same approach to words that a modern-day high school student does. You should be making that clear in the way they speak, but also, in the way you express their thoughts and actions. If you are only writing your muse’s personality and emotional tone when your muse is speaking, you’re not giving me the tone all the way through. It can feel like a marked delineation in flow.

However, you should be considering the overall flow of your writing as well. Did you just lay down back-to-back eloquently verbose sentences? If so, you may want to either follow them up or space them with a shorter sentence comprised of simpler words.

This is legitimately good writing advice for any manner of writing.

So is...

Show, don’t tell.

Which is another piece of advice that throws people when they try to make it more complex than necessary. That, and it grates up against the RPC’s need for short, quick writing. The idea that anything a mun gives you that your muse cannot react to verbally or with action is filler to be avoided. That idea comes from some principle advice that translates badly to RP; essentially, don’t wax poetic for three pages when it has nothing to do with the plot, characters, scene-setting elements, action, and so on. Don’t be Tolkien describing every tree and rock in excruciating detail on the way to destroy the One Ring, basically.

That isn’t fully appropriate advice in RP, where we’re having to write tiny chapters to each other to add onto. While it still has some merit, the RPC definitely has taken it to mean that you shouldn’t show anything. My muse’s private thoughts, emotions expressed and unexpressed, stirred-up memories, things they planned to say/do, but that were naturally interrupted by the flow of the thread all become Unnecessary. With...no mind to what they are showing and creating.

This particularly erodes writing muses as legitimate feeling people. As in the last example of what my muse intended to say or do that was interrupted. That’s a normal, human experience. It would be difficult and not enjoyable to read every instance of a muse’s broken thoughts and impulses or intentions, but giving one every so many replies in a natural feeling way keeps my muse presenting as a real person having a real person’s experience. Simple things like this go a long way toward your muse being “believable,” and by ignoring them or refusing to do them, you’re not making your muse very realistic. So much of the human experience is private, unknowable to outside parties.

Look...if you only knew me based upon a sterilized version of what I was saying to you or doing purely within the context of single interaction at a time, you wouldn’t know me at all. You’d have no idea what sort of nuance there is in my words, how I am expressing or withholding an opinion or emotion. I may not have any opinions, emotions, or other experiences that you are not contributing to. That’s very unrealistic, I’m not actually a person anymore. I haven’t any personality, I didn’t exist before you interacted with me.

That is the way it is with muses too. By stripping them of their internal experiences, we’re stripping them of more realistic feeling characterization. {It becomes, or adds to, a disastrous domino-effect of projected, cardboard stand-in style muses that are in no way a joy to interact with.} This is bad writing, makes for bad reading and interacting.

No one seems to understand show, don’t tell. Let me put it in a simple example: don’t tell me your muse is a good person, show me. Don’t tell me your muse is upset right now, show me.

Your muse has character traits you feel makes them A Good Person. They are compassionate, selfless, and genuinely interested in others. Don’t just leave that in the muse’s bio, or relegate it to statement-style lines like, “she cared deeply about others.” Show me these traits in action and thought. You don’t require anything dramatic to it, either. A muse like this should be a good listener, proceed with their love language in a way reflects personal involvement and a desire to comfort, be willing to sacrifice time and personal interests {don’t keep it to dramatic and literal self-sacrifice to show “selfless”}, legitimately doesn’t think of themselves first and foremost and may need reminding to care for themselves, and will be troubled by unfairness and cruelty in the world.

Your muse has been in a disagreement with a loved one, they’re not just “upset,” they are sad, angry, disappointed, and maybe even confused or surprised. While those are more descriptive and defining of the type of complex “upset” going on here, don’t leave it at these words. Don’t tell me that she said, angrily. Show me that she is having thoughts based on these emotions, actual emotional turmoil at her expectations of a loved one being devastated. Paint me a picture of the sadness in her features, the anger in her walk, how her words come out unpolished and jumbled in her surprise and turmoil.

This is what it means to show me, not tell me.

It also extends to scenes and recollections.

If your muse is happy sitting in her garden, don’t just tell me this. Show me why she is happy there, and define the sort of happiness in her thoughts, body language, voice, and expressions. Describe the aspects of the garden in tones of the happiness they bring, draw comparisons between this and her outward expression of joy with similar word use. It ties together both seamlessly in a way that we can relate to and feel, even if we hate the outdoors.

If this muse had a traumatic incident in her past, this is going to inconveniently come up, even if only in her mind. Don’t play coy about it and drop shit on your partners like, “she was thinking of things and stuff that was bad again.” No. Even if you are alluding or otherwise keeping the actual event secretive, you need to be describing how the muse is feeling, how she is experiencing the world around her through an overlay of upsetting reminders. Show me how she is having a visceral reaction to triggering stimuli while having to keep working or talking.

Additionally, even when your muse isn’t experiencing the scene you have set directly, you should show me instead of telling me about it.

Since my actual least favorite PSA on how it’s better to just tell people because no one wants to read “all that” deals with rain, we’re going to as well. Because it doesn’t have to be excessively descriptive to fucking show me it’s raining or has rained instead of just stating the fact.

Not, “it was raining.” Not, “it was wet outside.”

“In between her words, the distant, wall-dampened splash of cars driving through puddles.”

“He passed by windows beaded with moisture on his way to the kitchen.”

Wow, that was so complex, really a lot to read to get the idea that it is, or has been, raining outside without me directly telling you this!

There isn’t anything wrong with being more descriptive than this {nor is there anything wrong with using the word “rain,” so long as you’re backing it up with a description}, some of us do like to read and write about things like oil-slicked puddles in the street if our muse is seeing them or it is otherwise relevant. It’s just that you don’t have to do this, or have to do it at all times, to show instead of tell. This is yet another serious misunderstanding.

It isn’t that the description is often really that excessive, it’s more often that it is irrelevant to the extreme of sticking out weirdly. In the puddle thing, if my muse isn’t seeing it and/or I am not using that description to further experience, their mindset, personality, or tying it to an analogy later in the reply, it feels weird.

Some superfluous shit isn’t bad either, and superfluous can be purely subjective. It is, again, when it is to such an extreme as to leave your writing partner feeling oddly about a point in the text that seemed to ring with importance, but then held none. That isn’t an act of showing or telling, and neither is it your partner trying to show off as a gifted writer. For whatever reason, they just saw or felt that moment with such passionate clarity they had to include it immediately instead of waiting until a better moment for it. That’s literally it, there’s no need to project your insecurity in weird ass ways.

There are definitely other pieces of traditional-based writing advice that are great and either do transfer to RP perfectly or can with small amendments, but these are the most basic, commonly seen, and important combinations. They are also easy to better understand and apply!

When reading writing advice posts, please, ask yourself how they fit into RP. If they do at all. Many times, when it comes to the absolute basics of writing coherently and enjoyably, or developing characters, they’re great. It’s when they get into topics of some nuance that they don’t cross over so well and are outright damaging.

These pieces of advice are often being misunderstood or misapplied already, then are being passed around to a community notorious for its lacking application of critical thinking. Severe misunderstanding will happen, and terrible writing “rules” within the RPC develop from them.

Do be interested in writing, don’t separate traditional writing and RP writing into categories like “real writing and RP,” be invested in learning and improving. Just ask yourself how it applies to cooperative storytelling that is often thematic in nature, and proceed with caution and the mindset that writing is an art.

If you have the principles down and both yourself and others are enjoying your writing, you’re not doing it in an inherently wrong way because it wouldn’t be published. You’re not writing RP to have it published, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a difference to keep in mind when reading PSA’s about the Rules of Writing Whatever.

#tumblr rp #rp help #rp advice #rph #tumblr rpc #rpbetter #rpb #roleplay better #tumblr rp advice #traditional writing advice and rp #queue

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phidica · 4 years ago

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So, as you can see, my queue ran out last June and all I’ve done since then is reblog a couple of topical posts. But here’s the thing; that did not occur for lack of content that I wanted to reblog -- in fact, quite the opposite! Read on and I shall explain, because truly what is left for me to talk about on this blog besides the act of running the blog itself?

The way that I’ve historically prepared my post queue has been to open posts I intend to reblog in new tabs (whether I encounter them on the dashboard or via RSS feeds) and set them aside for later. At some point, ideally with no more than a few dozen posts in the pile, I would load all the tabs and then go through and manually rearrange them, then I would tag and add the posts to my queue in that very sequence

My reasons for doing this were twofold. Firstly, I wanted each day’s posts to be a fair mix of topics that didn’t put too many posts from the same fandom in a row. This was to avoid, for instance, multiple consecutive days of posts being nothing but MLP art thus giving the wrong impression to passersby about the focus of my blog, or overly annoying followers who weren’t interested in that topic at all (supposing that I even have active followers any more hah). Hence a degree of randomness was called for in the arrangement of posts. But secondly, I did not want to use the “shuffle queue” feature (is this a Tumblr builtin or an XKit extension? all I know is that the button has haunted me for a lifetime) because I preferred my queue to be in semi-chronological order, and I liked to create callforwards and callbacks in the tags. Oh we’re getting deep into my mental thought processes now...

I liked a semi-chronological queue because that way, as the posts were, erm, posted, any references to recent events in shows or fandoms would remain in the appropriate order without anything seemingly getting mixed up or obscuring some context. Then, regards to my tags: this didn’t happen terribly often but for instance there are the cases of me introducing a new tag and offering some commentary on the fact I have introduced that tag right next to it, which only works out if I can be certain which post that tag really does first appear on. Or I might leave commentary about a particular run of posts that I’ve just queued up. And, relatedly though not exactly the same, there are those posts that are best read in a certain sequence because that is key to some particular joke

So at this point I have explained why:

I don’t add posts to my queue immediately upon seeing them (ans: because they need to be at least lightly randomised), and why

I didn’t simply shuffle the entire queue at once to achieve said randomisation (ans: because subsets of the queue needed to be in a particular sequence).

I expect it’s becoming obvious where this is going, not least because of the contrast between past and present tenses, but I might as well cough up another paragraph or five to contextualise this further when I’ve already come so f a r

I can actually probably trace the start of this system breaking down to the day that I upgraded to Firefox Quantum, the release from which point on you could only use WebExtensions, because at that point I lost access to an important addon, I think it was called like...Tab Groups Plus, or something. The point was that it let you see all your tabs on like a tiled view, showing previews of the content, and you could sort them into groups created and destroyed on-demand which would move them around in your tab list. This was an excellent tool for arranging posts into just the right order prior to queuing them, because I would be able to first sort them by fandom, and then start shuffling them together manually with just the right spacing to make it all work out nicely. With the loss of that extension, I had to start making do with the equivalent procedure with just moving the tabs around in the tab bar (okay, the tab tree, but let’s not go there right now), and with no previews of their content so I had to constantly click into tabs to check which was which. That sucked and was very difficult and time consuming and simply a huge downgrade

As a consequence of these changes to my workflow, I started doing the task of sorting tabs and queuing up posts less often, thus letting more posts pile up at once. Obviously I did cope with this for some time, since Firefox Quantum hit in November 2017 apparently?? fuck it’s been so long oh god and obviously I have still managed to get a lot of posts through my blog since then, though with more stops and starts (this story gets a bit messy because I also had waning investment in Tumblr at times, which also contributes to not actively running the blog, but I think the tabs thing is a bigger factor)

These big stacks of posts waiting for me to load them and sort them and then semi-randomise them have something of an exponential weight. As you might imagine there’s the mental aversion to starting a process when there’s already a lot of stuff to do, and then that just leads to there being more to do, and the nightmare spirals. But in a much more corporeal sense, it appears that the Tree Style Tab (oh fuck now I do have to go there, shit, okay. uh. it’s like if you replaced the tab bar (from the top of the screen) with a bookmarks toolbar (on the side of the screen) and you can sort tabs into folders and new tabs open from a given tab open as “children” of that tab, indented under them. it’s very nice for managing a winding path you might take through Wikipedia or TV Tropes, if you can imagine that. I don’t do that though; I just open a bajillion tabs from Tumblr and stuff them into a single folder that collapses into a single tab and hides them so I can continue to use my web browser despite the fact I have so many fucking tabs open) and really Firefox in general start to respond much slower to the act of loading new tabs or moving tabs around when you already have so many tabs in the tree. Literally, the more tabs I open from Tumblr, the physically harder it is to load those tabs and move them around in order to sort them to queue them to close them and thus allow me to move on to new tabs

That is the situation I find myself in now. As I said at the start, my blog ground to a halt not because of a lack of content, but an excess. I have so many posts that I want to put in my queue to reblog, that they are actively weighing down my web browser to the point that I can hardly start the process of queuing them in the first place

Naturally, something had to give eventually. Here’s what I was looking at a few hours ago

that’s right, I had 230 tabs in the pile. It’s too much. And the idea of closing that parent tab, and killing all 230 of them at once... It’s a solution of sorts, but never the one I wanted to take. I guess it was because I talked about this with Kylie the other week, and she suggested that I just shuffle the queue with the button that shuffles the fucking queue, Violet, that I started considering my way out

So, that’s what I’ve done. Look

And that only took me three hours! As opposed to an actual eternity!

Maybe this is only how I’ll swing things until this pile clears, or maybe it will be the way I work going forward. For now, I am making adjustments to the way that I tag posts in order to generally try and avoid that context-dependent commentary which has previously demanded that I keep things in a curated order. And fortunately, at the moment, I have been out of the active reblog scene for so long that there are no fandom chronologies I need to match step with, so shuffling everything is fine in that regard as well. And I haven’t yet encountered any posts that work best with the one-two punch in just the right order, but if I do, my plan is to just schedule them, for some random day in the future, with only a minute’s difference between them. I have done that before in certain circumstances anyway. So I have, with relatively little effort in the end, I suppose, (big thanks to my wife for letting me sequence-break my brain), allowed myself to click the magic “Shuffle Queue” button... And we’re gonna see if this lets me actually clear the whole backlog in the end, and perhaps regain control of my life web browser life

But rn I need to go to sleep because I just stayed up like an extra two hours beyond the point I needed to be asleep writing this all out in one stream of thought whoops

#OC post #That's right bitch we're doing semicolon clause INTO en dash clause #FUck you #Been doing a lot of technical writing lately for my PhD thesis can you tell #It's in the way that I'm being some kind of verbose yet with a Tumblr flair that means it doesn't actually have to be good practice #Or maybe I always wrote like this on Tumblr #Sadly the occasions I've done so have been few and far between for a number of years now so I don't remember #Just kind of rediscovering my voice #Originally my previous post and this post were the same post and you can probably see why that eventually changed #1500 words for real girl? what the fuck...

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surveystodestressme · 4 years ago

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230.

Do you own a dreamcatcher? nope

What is the last thing that you bought for somebody else? i buy jack stuff all the time idk what the last thing i got for him was

Opinions of That 70’s Show? not a big fan

Do you often find yourself talking to inanimate objects? sometimes

What was the last book that you read? Was it any good? perfect days, really good

Have you seen the commercials for Fushigi? no idea what that is

Have you ever painted a room? What colour? yes, several.

Which flavour of popsicle is the best? idk

Have you ever pantsed/been pantsed by someone? i've been pantsed before

Lava lamps; yay or nay? sure

Do you have the DVR feature with your cable? no

How many drawers does your dresser have? 5

Who is the most opinionated person that you know? mariann

Movie theater popcorn is better than microwave popcorn, right? absolutely

When was the last time that you caught lightnin’ bugs? long long time

Do you enjoy attending family reunions? no

Have you ever been to a race track? yes, i used to live by one as a kid

Is your closet a mess? kind of

Have you ever read A Series Of Unfortunate Events? yes, i own it. good series

Bobble-heads; yay or nay? nah

Which web browser do you use? firefox

Do you still listen to CD’s? in my moms car, she loves cds

Do you comment on stupid things that characters do in books, out loud? sometimes

Have you ever seen the blade-less fans? yeah, i really want one

Why does the dog always die in the end of stories? because authors suck

Have you ever silkscreened a tshirt? i have no idea what that means

What was your favourite cartoon growing up? spongebob

If you put ‘Count’ in front of your name, then you’d be? Count Cierra

Have you ever solved a Rubix cube? nope

Did you ever have a rock collection? i tried to when i was a kid

Do you have a favourite bromance? From tv or a movie. not really

Buffy The Vampire Slayer; yay or nay? nah

Do you like The Offspring? yeah

Are you a fan of delicious flavour? sure

Describe to me your favourite pair of pajama pants. fuzzy red pants with christmas dogs on them

Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? yes! love them

What colour is your wallet? blue

Have you ever left a note in a book at a library or book store? yes

Do you tweet excessively? not at all

Have you ever been to a Renaissance Faire? nope

Can you play the drums? no

Do you like those SkullCandy earphones? nope

Have you ever been somebody’s photography subject? yeah, i took a photography class in high school

Have you met amazing people online? yes

Would you be happy if I coloured a picture for you? sure!

What show do you think MADE the 90’s? friends

Have you ever called somebody a hot mess? absolutely

Has a music video ever given you the chills? yes

Jimmy Eat World; yay or nay? yeah

Do you think more than six impossible things before breakfast? nah

Who taught/will teach you how to drive? my parents, mostly my mom

What was the last thing that you ordered online? a bunch of clothes and accessories

Do you have the emotional range of a teaspoon? yeah

Have you ever given a ‘World’s Best Mom/Dad’ mug? no

Are you using headphones right now at this very moment? yes

#bored #quiz #questions #survey

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skvaderarts · 4 years ago

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Chapter Fifteen: Telemiscomunications

You can check out the Masterlist Here for more links to places to read!

Firefox decided not to work today, so I had to use Edge *shudders* between this and the app not working earlier this year, I think Tumblr just hates me.

Note: Hey everyone! Thanks for the comments once again! I tried to take the time to respond to them all. Talking to everyone always puts a smile on my face. This chapter and the next are shorter set up chapters, mostly due to the fact that the next few chapters will be longer as we reach the climax of the story, and I needed to flesh them out more. But don’t worry. This isn’t the end of the story; not by a long shot. This is just book one. At about chapter seven I realized that this wasn’t going to be a single book affair, so I started work on planning part two’s ending. The structure of the story didn’t work as one very long book, so there will be a second installment. More on that later. For now, thank you for your continued support and enjoy this chapter! I’ll keep writing for as long as you keep reading!

-~-

If it was somehow possible to sleep for almost a full day without trying to, Vergil had just done it. This was very much unlike him. The eldest Son of Sparda couldn’t remember the last time that he had slept that long, especially considering the fact that he was in an unfamiliar environment and didn’t generally drop his guard. Genuinely restful sleep wasn’t something that he experienced often, so he relished the opportunity despite the fact that he hadn’t intended to do so. When he had gone to check out the room that Dante had given him, it was as if the bed had called him into it. One moment he was standing in the doorway, and the next he was waking up at dusk the next day. The transition had been so seamless and sudden that he had thought it was the same day at first. But then he had stumbled into the main office and Dante had started laughing. Vergil had no idea what his younger twin brother found so humorous, but he had a feeling he was going to find out very shortly.

“I was starting to think you were dead,” Dante said as he sat at his desk eating pizza.

The Jukebox was blasting some song that the older twin didn’t recognize but didn’t really acknowledge enough to feel any sort of way about. It was just aimless background noise to him. Vergil glanced over at him, not really sure what to say to that. It wasn’t his fault that his brother hadn’t been smart enough to check his pulse if he thought that something was wrong. It occurred to him that Dante had more than likely checked on him multiple times in order to come to that conclusion. How odd that he hadn’t noticed. Did he really sleep that deeply? Surely not. He liked to think that he would notice if someone was that close to him, even if he was unconscious. Dante couldn’t be that sneaky, could he?

Vergil strolled across the room to glance out of the large windows that spanned the length of the walls, in need of something to idly pass his time. While residing within the same building as his brother wasn’t something he had come to dislike as of yet, he still found the need to have his own space. Right now, he was out of his element. The office didn’t quite feel like home to him just yet. While he never felt entirely safe and wasn’t very adept at dropping his guard (a lifetime in the underworld does that to you) he felt more at ease here than he’d like to admit. Although he wasn’t really sure quite yet why that was, he couldn’t help but notice.

As Vergil gazed out at the storm that raged just beyond the glass, he clasped his hands behind his back. He suddenly had the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. The eldest Son of Sparda didn’t know what that premonition pertained to, but it was as clear as day. Or perhaps not the day, considering the current weather. The storm was quite… dramatic, wasn’t it?

“... You thought I was dead and didn’t think to check,” Vergil didn’t turn to look at Dante as he spoke. He was thinking, but about what, he wasn’t sure. It seemed that he might not be as awake as he initially thought.

Dante took a piece of pizza and leaned back in his chair, placing his feet on the opposite end of the desk from where the delivery box was. “Well, if you died, I guess we could just give your friend a call,” Dante said, clearly being sarcastic. The younger of the two obviously didn’t want Vergil dead. But even if he thought he was, there was no way in hell he was going to try to wake him up to find out.

Before Vergil could retort, the phone rang. The old rotary style phone had been through plenty of abuse in its lifetime, so it was a wonder that it worked at all. Much like the jukebox, it seemed to be determined to remain a part of the office. Vergil glanced over his shoulder at his brother as Dante groaned. Why did people always have to interrupt him when he was trying to eat?

“If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think you were avoiding someone,” Vergil said sardonically, a hint of amusement in his voice,” one your female companions, I presume?”

Dante pointed at him as if to tell him to watch it, resisting the urge to mock him childishly. Vergil was on a winning streak in regards to his behavior. It had been three whole days and he hadn’t stabbed anyone to death yet. That was truly something to cherish. Mind you, he had spent a third of that time asleep, but still. It was an achievement he didn’t want to actively sabotage. But Vergil was actually right for once. He was absolutely avoiding Lady, Trish, and Morisson at the moment. Or even worse… Patty. He had a lot going on right now. The last thing he wanted to think about was the money he owed the girls or the birthday party that Patty was never going to let him live down. There would be a time and a place for that later. Hopefully much, much later. As in never.

Half expecting to be cursed at the moment he answered the phone, Dante reached forward and snatched the phone off of the receiver. It had been a long time since he’d answered it. Before he could recall a single syllable from the English language, a woman’s voice spoke from the other side of the line. It wasn’t the girls. It was Magnolia.

“Oh thank heavens! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you lot all day! Where have you been?!” The woman’s voice held a note of worry as she spoke. She was clearly concerned and flustered but holding her composure well nonetheless. “I’ve been trying to speak to Vergil. Something is happening and I’m not sure what it is.”

Despite the fact that the phone didn’t have a speaker function, Vergil heard her loud and clear. The twins had a keen sense of hearing. Barely anything escaped their notice. Vergil turned away from the window and walked back over to the desk, interested in hearing what she had called them about. Dante glanced up at him as his brother leaned on the desk, tilting his head inquisitively. The Youngest Son of Sparda held the phone out so that they could both listen in.

“You wanted to talk to me, Magnolia,” Vergil said almost hesitantly, clearly out of his element talking to someone on the phone,” What is it?”

Magnolia sighed in relief, clearing her throat. “I may have bumped into that cult that everyone on TV keeps going on about. You’ve heard about them, I presume?”

Dante and Vergil glanced at one another. No. No, they had not. Dante didn’t exactly watch TV and Vergil had been, well, asleep for an entire day. There weren’t in the loop as far as current events were concerned. All they knew was that this storm didn’t seem to want to let up and that the naps had been in order. She seemed to glean her answer from their silence, shuffling slightly from the other end of the line. They both took a moment to think about her statement, not entirely sure yet as to if this turn of events should concern them.

“What about em,” Dante said nonchalantly,” Are they actually a threat?”

Magnolia nodded before considering the fact that they couldn’t possibly see her through the phone. “I believe that some of them, maybe. A few of them attacked me on my way to Fortuna,” She paused for a moment, thinking about the attack,” I couldn’t tell you how they pegged me as a threat. They had a summoner with them who presented a decent challenge. He managed to conjure a Kyklopse, but I made quick work of it. But that wasn’t the main reason for this phone call.”

The twins seemed to absorb the information given to them, Vergil seemingly more troubled than Dante though he wasn’t showing it. Kyklopse were native to Malet Island. How had this person managed to gain control of such a formidable and obscure demon? This didn’t bode well. As they thought in silence, Magnolia continued, conscious of the fact that they were listening intently.

“I’m at Nero’s house at the moment. Charming little place. I quite like it,” as if on cue, the children could be heard screaming in the background, Nico yelling something to them about piping down because an adult was using the phone,” Apparently your sons took an impromptu trip to Fortuna Castle in the Lamina Mountains. According to the lovely young ladies here, they were looking for something in the library? Either way, they’ve been there a couple of hours and haven’t returned. Everyone is worried, even the little lady who swears up and down that she isn’t.”

Nico cursed at the statement.

Vergil looked visibly uncomfortable and Dante seemed about two seconds from bashing his head into his desk. They had both had occasion to visit that place and neither of them had particularly enjoyed their stays. It was probably the most dangerous castle in the human world that wasn’t located on Malet Island. Why on earth would they go there, especially with the condition that V was more than likely currently in? This could be very bad. Vergil leaned forward further, sighing slightly before continuing their correspondence. “And this is the part of this conversation where you inform me that that isn’t the worst part.”

Magnolia sighed too. Vergil could still read her like an open book, even from the other side of a phone. “Yes. That isn’t the worst part. I believe the cult may have followed me here. I arrived a short while ago and snuck here as discreetly as I could, but I saw another boat approaching from the distance as I arrived. I don’t believe that they are after me, but I have a feeling they may go snooping around the castle. Call it intuition, but why else would a cult with summoners in their ranks visit this island?”

Without speaking Vergil stood up and walked down towards the back door of the shop. He opened it and disappeared behind it. Dante glanced at him before turning back to the phone. “... I think we’re gonna have to call you back.”

With that, he hung up the phone and turned his attention back to his brother. Where the hell had he just gone?

-~-

Magnolia stood in the entryway of the house holding the wall-mounted phone in her hand, staring at it as the dial tone blared loudly. They would call her back? What the hell did they mean they would call her back?! There was no time for that! For all she knew, the cult could already be at the castle and both Nero and V could be in terrible danger. While she was certain that Nero could handle himself, V absolutely couldn’t fight right now. It could take a week or more for his powers to begin to trickle back in. If he possessed healing abilities, he would be lucky if they had kicked in by now.

After a moment she hung up the phone and turned around. Kyrie stood just a few feet away, her hands clasped and her posture entirely too at attention. She wore a pleasant smile, but anyone with any basic level of comprehension of human emotions could tell that she was scared. She smiled gently at the young woman for a moment. A few seconds passed like this, the two of them locked in this silent understanding. Kyrie couldn’t bring herself to ask this woman that she had barely just met for her help, but she could tell that she could handle herself. Magnolia walked over to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle shake. She recognized what the young brunette with the large doe eyes was too afraid to ask.

“Don’t trouble yourself, dear,” She said in a firm, reassuring tone,” I’m going to go to the castle and see what they are up to. You just stay here and stay safe.”

Kyrie smiled wearily, unable to find the proper words for her relief. She didn’t know why, but the middle-aged woman before her made her feel safe. She opened her mouth to thank her but was stopped by a loud noise reminiscent of some kind of humming. A split second later, the front slammed open, bounding off of the wall. Although not quite hard enough to split the frame, it produced a loud, thundering boom that took the young woman by surprise, causing her to let out a terrified shriek. Nico scrambled down the hall, her hands clenched firmly around the neck of a lamp as the cord dangled uselessly. She had clearly just yanked it from the wall, desperate to come to her rescue. Magnolia glanced at her, her brow furrowing as she nodded to herself in approval. She liked this wily young lady. There wasn’t an ounce of fear in her.

The three ladies turned their gaze back to the door just as Vergil walked in, still in the process of sheathing Yamato. He had clearly left in a hurry as his hair was drenched from the rain. He’d made no effort to stay dry whatsoever. He looked grimly miffed and not at all in the mood for this. But, there was no anger in his demeanor. That couldn’t be a look of concern, could it? Magnolia shifted from the protective stance that she had taken and straightened her back, folding her arms. It was good to see that Vergil still took her seriously when she called him, even after all these years. It was rare that she needed to, but the fact that he had immediately shown up spoke volumes. She knew that he was aware of her capabilities. If there was a threat she didn’t feel comfortable taking on, he took it seriously.

Dante followed shortly after he, the look on his face somewhere between befuddlement and curiosity. He had never seen Vergil jump up and immediately race off to another location based solely on the testimony of another individual before. And he clearly took this potential threat seriously. Was it the mention of the Kyklopse that had irked him so thoroughly?

“... You were going to the castle,” He said rather bluntly, clearly ready to assess the situation for himself. Vergil was not the least bit pleased about this and it was very slowly starting to show.

Magnolia nodded, stepping forward to join him. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I was just leaving. I didn’t expect you to come so soon,” She grabbed her coat off of the hook nearest to her and shrugged into it, flaring it out in order to adjust the fit,” I’d have you know, I’m out of practice. Haven’t been in a good fight for several years now. I’m a healer now. Do keep that in mind?”

“How fortunate for his opponents,” Vergil thought to himself,” She could piece them back together after he diced them into bite-sized chunks.” He had no idea who this cult was, and he didn’t care. All he knew was that they needed to die and they were going to, especially if any harm came to either of his sons. While Nero was quite capable, it was rather difficult to launch an effective offense against an opponent with someone who was essentially helpless in close proximity. There had better be a good reason they had taken a trip to that godforsaken death trap, especially with V in the state that he was in.

The eldest Son of Sparda stopped for a moment to consider his somewhat irrational but fully warranted response. Was he actually worried about them? No, that was preposterous. Vergil, the Darkslayed, feared no one (well, virtually no one) but here he was, stymied by the concept of his two very capable children possibly being in harm’s way? Where had this sudden concern for their well being originated from? He would worry about that later. For now, he needed to know where they both were. Precisely where they were. And they needed to take care of this “cult”.

“It won’t matter in the slightest,” Vergil said as he glanced at Kyrie before turning to go back outside. He couldn’t help but notice her change in demeanor, much like Magnolia had,” They will be dealt with soon enough.”

Vergil descended the front steps and set off, expecting that they would simply catch up. He wasn’t going to wait for them and he wasn’t going to ask for them to follow him. The eldest of Sparda’s twin sons had spent a lifetime in the underworld. Vergil would make quick work of these cultists, with or without the help of his companions. Magnolia and Dante shared an acknowledging glance before he followed after him, jogging lightly to catch up with his brother’s brisk pace. Magnolia turned to Nico, stealing a glance in the direction of Dante and Vergil. She would have to catch up with them after their sudden departure.

“You there, with the lamp,” She said firmly.

Nico brandished the lamp before lowering it, not entirely sure what she planned to do with it now that she thought about it. Tiffany lamps were heavy, yes, but they required getting in close to be effective as a blunt force weapon. She wasn’t getting that close to a potential summoner with a demon. But she hadn’t thought of that at the time. She had simply acted in what she assumed to be the best interests of the people she had come to care about.

“Y-yes? Wadda ya need?” She fumbled over her words for a second, her slight embarrassment intensified by the acknowledgment of how ridiculous she looked in this moment. This woman probably thought she was certifiable.

“... as you were then, dear. Keep up the good work.” Magnolia said pleasantly. She nodded to her, reaffirming her statement. Nico stared at her like she’d lost her mind for a moment before nodding back. She now understood what the older woman was telling her.

“Don’t worry, miss,” Nico said with certainty,” Nothing’s gonna happen to anyone here under my watch.”

Magnolia nodded and turned towards the door, sauntering away. She stopped in the doorway, glancing over her shoulder in Nico’s direction. She smiled as she spoke. “Oh, I know you will dear. Of that, I have no doubt.”

With that she stepped out of the door, using her food to push it closed as she went. As she stepped out into the rain, she noticed that Dante and Vergil were about a block ahead of her. She shook her head. They moved awfully fast, didn’t they. It was going to be quite the job to keep up with them. But then again, nothing having to do with Sparda’s descendants was ever easy. And she relished the excitement, although in the hopes that it would be short-lived. She had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

-~-

Okay, so this didn’t end up being any shorter than normal. LOL. Well, maybe like 100 words. How ironic. I guess that’s what I get for assuming I couldn’t hit my minimum word count with just a phone call scene. I’m kinda proud of myself. Toon in on Friday the 19th for chapter 16 and thank you as always for reading this chapter. We're all going through a lot right now, so it makes me happy to give you something to look forward to every week. Hopefully! And go listen to the song this chapter is named after. It’s good. There’s only one so it shouldn’t be hard to find. Take care, everyone!

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the-passenger-if · 5 years ago

Note

because you’re the first (and my favorite) cog blog i follow, i was wondering if you had any tips on how to get into the coding and writing for my own story? any direction would be greatly appreciated! and of course sorry to bother you if you get a lot of these asks!

No problem at all :) This one will be a long answer, so I'll break it into two. Also, this is sort of a short break for me, I'll answer the other asks later.

Alright, I'll assume you have no idea about choicescript so sorry if I sound condescending or anything.

What you need:

- Notepad++

First the easy (ha!) part: coding.

Go to this page and read everything, DON'T download anything yet. That's the introduction to choicescript and it's pretty easy to follow (I mean, I could follow it and I have zero coding experience and half of my neurons might as well be mashed potatoes).

This page contains explanations to what each command does (it's shorter than it looks, I promise).

Once you have some idea of what does what it's time to talk about the pain in the butt that's been mozilla firefox latest update. You see, mozilla was the only browser that played nice with choicescript, any other will show you an error page if you try to run your game outside of dashingdon.com (the page that hosts the forum WIPs) and you need to test your game in private before uploading it for everyone to see. Then update 68 happened and it screwed us all (they could've waited until update 69, opportunity lost there, mozilla guys) so Dan (one of the creators of choicescript) found a workaround and I'm sure it's awesome for people whose brain cells aren't half brain cells, half mashed potatoes but for me it's like fifth grade math: impossible.

So here's the branching part of my explanation (how very interactive-fictiony of me) you can either go with Dan's way (best way) or you can go with mine ("easy" way). If you choose Dan's, you can read his posts, try to make sense of everything, then go back to the tutorial page and download node.js, and the choicescript source from github.

If you want to try it my way download an older version of mozilla, install it somewhere where it can't auto upgrade like some freaking skynet creep—I have mine in a USB stick. [NOTE: never ever use this downgraded version to browse the web unless you want an orgy of trojans all over your PC] Go here and download the file. It's a RAR of my own choicescript folder (hopefully I'm not doing something I shouldn't, but it's for educational purposes and I'm not getting anything out of this so idk). Extract it, go to your neutered mozilla and drag index.HTML (it's inside the 'web' foder) into it. The test "game" should run without problems.

There are 2 other HTML files that will be your best friends—if pretty dense sometimes; quicktest and randomtest. Just drag them in the same way you do with index. Here is where Notepad++ comes in handy since quicktest says stuff like: QUICKTEST FAILED LINE 1408 SHOULD BE A REPTILE BUT IT'S A TURTLE (quicktest you dumb dramatic bitch). Then you open the troubling scene in Notepad++ and look for the specific line that's making quicktest cry.

And that's all for the basics, then there's stuff like multireplace (awesome when your npcs can be either non-binary or binary and it looks something like this "Roach blows you a kiss" vs. "${r_they} @{r_plural wink|winks} at you") but all that is extra stuff that you learn as you realize you need some specific piece of coding for your game.

Now go out there and practice practice practice. Go to the forum and try different WIPs and every time one does something that has you like "how did they do this?" take a look at the code, try to figure it out, learn from what other people do. [To see a game's code you need to add /scenes after mygame/ so, for example, The Passenger's would look something like this https://dashingdon.com/play/pime/the-passenger/mygame/scenes/]

Also, always ask the author if you can use their code before adding it into your game (imho the way Malin coded Ortega's and Mortum's genders is the best way to go, so I sent him a pm asking if he was ok with me stealing his code and he said there was no problem, and now you can pick between three options for Roach and Horizon thanks to Malin. Malin deserves all the love).

Part dos. The fun/stressing/i'll-kill-everyone-and-myself part: writing.

Read, read a lot, find whatever you fancy and suck the marrow out of it. Read books, comic books, manga, whatever. Watch movies, watch documentaries about those movies. Find what you like about them—a scene, a style, a tone, a piece of dialogue—and think about why it resonates with you. Listen to sad music, listen to upbeat music, feel things. Talk to your friends, see people interact. Think about why you love them. The awesome thing about being an artist is we are lucky to be always learning, improving our craft, even when we're at the cinema or getting drunk with friends; everything can be used in a story later on. A mathematician only improves when they are doing stuff with numbers (also known as magic), a fisher only improves when they are fishing; we improve just by living and going through experiences (there's also a lot of work involved in writing, but you get my drift).

Write, write, write, and when you aren't writing think about writing [here's a bunch of cool people that know what they're talking about]

Don't stop if your first attempt ends up in nothing; I started two different stories on this format before The Passenger. The first one was about a hacker and I wrote 10k words before realizing I knew nothing about hackers; the second was a story about a soldier getting killed off in the first chapter, then coming back from the dead thanks to some otherwordly being and looking to get revenge on the ones that killed them—so creative very original. This time around I managed to finish one chapter (20k words). Then The Passenger happened and it was love at first keystroke. Writing MC's inner monologue always brought a smile to my face and so I thought, Hey if this makes me happy, then maybe there's someone out there that will enjoy it too. And now here we are, who would've thunk it?

Once you're happy with your story, upload it to dashingdon.com, then create a new topic on the forum. The cog forum is super chill and 99% of people there are super chill too.

I think that's it, good luck and happy coding/writing :3

#ask #writing stuff #iotacarbine

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

Text

And so we run (ch.8) - Traumathicc

A/N: This... took longer than I thought it would. Anyway! The disscussion over if backpacks are acceptable weapons is totally valid discourse.

”Courtney! Did you find something?”

Bianca waits for a few seconds but Courtney isn’t responding. Gia watches her all too familiar routine of automatically reaching down and grabbing the gun at her hip as she casts her a worried glance.

Just as Bianca’s about to call a second time, Courtney finally reappears. It doesn’t take long for the both of them to figure out that something’s wrong.

”Are you alright? You look like you just saw a ghost or something.” Bianca tries in a softer voice that doesn’t really suit her.

Courtney stays silent for a moment. Then she takes a deep breath.

”It wasn’t anything important. Just… just a dead deer. Let’s keep moving.”

She walks past Gia and Bianca and starts powerwalking into the woods. Bianca sighs and follows her. Gia has to get into a small sprint to catch up with the both of them. She makes sure that Courtney is far away enough that she doesn’t hear them. Then she tugs at Bianca’s sleeve.

”There was a voice”

”What the fuck are you talking about?”

Gia had no idea there was such a thing as a loud whisper up until this moment. Fascinating. She rolls her eyes.

”Back with Court. I swear I could hear someone talking that wasn’t her.”

”You sure it wasn’t that deer?” Bianca snarks.

”Deer don’t sound like… like that.”

”That? How that?”

”I dunno… in… agony?”

Biancas jaw clenches. She looks at Courtney. Then Gia. Then Courtney again.

”Look, let’s just- let’s just say it was a deer, ok? And please. Never bring it up again.”

”But-”

”Please.” Bianca gives her that vulnerable look she had back at the tree again. “Don’t do it for me.”

Courtney suddenly turns around.

“What’re you two whispering about?”

She has a little too much forced optimism in her voice, and her smile is a bit too wide for someone who saw a dead “deer” five minutes ago.

“Just talking over the plans for a potential raid. Y’know, point A to point B stuff.” Bianca ensures her.

”Oh, good!” Courtney beams and turns back to the road ahead. Bianca starts biting her lip. Gia decides against pushing the subject and just looks down at her feet for the next ten minutes.

Then Bianca stops and Gia almost trips over herself trying not to bump into her.

”Do you guys see that?”

”Smoke” Courtney confirms. ”Yeah. Let’s investigate.”

They take a detour around the clearing where the trail of smoke is rising up from behind the trees. Courtney finds a large rock and they all huddle behind it, weapons drawn. Bianca, who’s positioned in the middle, perks her head up to get a better look at the situation. When she ducks back down, she has a smug look on her face which Gia knows means they just struck gold.

”There’s food, packed meals, supplies, clean water, all unattended!” Gia really needs to teach Bianca how to whisper like a proper human being. ”This is- it’s almost too easy!”

”Exactly” Courtney whispers back (at least she knows how to, Gia thinks) ”There’s a huge risk that this is actually a trap. But we still shouldn’t pass up this opportunity. We need to be careful.”

They slowly get up from behind the rock all at once and start walking towards the unattended camp in what Gia likes to call “the starfish formation.” Bianca walks forward facing the front, while Gia and Courtney walk with their backs turned to her, facing the back and sides. Gia can practically smell the food when, sure enough, a bush to her left starts to rustle. She sighs. Of course this was a fucking trap.

Bianca breaks up the starfish immediately and goes to investigate, gun in one hand and pocketknife in the other. It’s like the bush tenses up, and Gia swears she hears whispering coming from it.

What follows is basically a blur of red hair bursting from within the bush like one of those aliens in old horror movies. Bianca points her gun at the head of what appears to be an unarmed girl, safe for her backpack which she could technically swing at someone’s head if she so wished. The fact that this girl literally brought a backpack to a gunfight doesn’t really matter though, as another girl suddenly pops out from the thick vegetation and draws a bow at Bianca’s back before either Gia or Courtney can do anything.

“Drop the gun.” Her voice is calm, but tense with worry. Clearly the unarmed girl means a lot to her.

”I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. What w-”

”I said DROP. THE. GUN.”

Well, the girl is officially pissed. Why does Bianca have to be such a cunt now of all times?

”Ivy, please.” The girl with the backpack suddenly speaks up. ”They clearly just want the food, same as us. And there’s more than enough to to around! Besides, we can hunt if we run out, maybe they can’t?”

Ivy sighs. ”You’re right. But I won’t drop my weapon until they’ve dropped theirs.”

”And why should we trust you?” Bianca snaps.

”Just drop them. Please. For your own sake.” Gia can’t help but snicker. Backpack girl is clearly more than done with Bianca’s bullshit.

Bianca groans and actually puts both her knife and gun down. Gia and Courtney follow suit. Ivy looks pleased and puts her bow on her back. Then she walks over to her friend.

”I’m Ivy. And this is my partner, Jinkx.”

Courtney, Bianca and Gia all introduce themselves. Of course, all of them already vaguely know each other from the training period, but back in that place opening up to strangers was generally frowned upon. Both by the organizers and the contestants.

Probably because you could be talking to your future murderer.

A more than awkward silence ensues before Bianca speaks up again.

”Why would you even jump out like that anyway? You’re not armed! I could’ve killed you!”

Jinkx’s face grows red with embarrassment. “We were going to try peaceful negotiation at first…”

“... And it didn’t exactly work out. Well, I’m glad we’re all still in one piece.” Ivy fills in.

“Well, that’s about the stupidest thing I’ve heard today.” Bianca mutters.

“Also, for the record, I’m not unarmed.” Jinkx reassures. “I have knives in the bag!”

“Then whY WOULDN’T YOU TAKE- you know what? Forget it. Let’s just grab the stuff and get out of here before whoever set this up gets back.”

Ivy and Courtney have already walked over to the camp and started piling up on food and supplies. Gia is about to join them when she’s almost impaled by a knife thrown seemingly out of nowhere. She lets out a small squeal and reaches for her gun.

”Looks like we’ve got company… Again.”

Everyone draws their weapons in silence as Roxxxy and Detox step into the clearing. A chill runs down Gia’s spine when she realizes Alaska is missing.

”What? Not even a ’hello?’ That’s rude.” Roxxxy smirks and points her spear at Bianca.

Gia’s heart almost explodes out of fear when she hears Bianca sigh. The fact that she just scolded Jinkx for having an apparent death wish suddenly seems very hypocritical.

—————————————————————

”Y’know, I’m getting real tired of you people pointing shit at me all fucking day. Do I look like a fucking landmark to you cunts?”

Bianca’s right hand is ghosting the handle of her gun. But she steadies herself.

Not yet.

”She’s right, she doesn’t” Detox snickers. ”Although I reckon she’d make a nice pincushion…”

Roxxxy laughs a little too hard at that joke. Detox proceeds to take out both her guns at once and spin them around on her fingers by the trigger like some sort of cliche action character. The guns both stop spinning at the same time, perfectly synchronized, and pointed at Bianca.

What did she just tell these two bitches?

“Where is the Reaper?” It’s Ivy who speaks up. She already has a bow loaded with three arrows pointed at Roxxxy.

“She’s off dealing with our little… provider.” Roxxxy gestures towards the now dead campfire. This results in Detox giving Roxxxy a look dripping with annoyance and mild disappointment.

“What? I figured we’d let them know since they’re ‘bout to die anyway!”

Detox just sighs and curses under her breath. In another life, her and Bianca could possibly have made very good friends.

”Well, speaking of which, this has gone on for long enough, wouldn’t you agree?” Roxxxy takes a step forward, her eyes practically nailed to Biancas. ”Any last words before we release you from this miserable shitshow?”

Bianca’s hand is gripped around her gun now. Her finger grazes the trigger.

Not yet.

”Nothing? How about you?” She turns to Ivy and Gia. Then to Courtney. ”Really? Fuck, you guys are boring. What about Firefox in the back?”

Her eyes lock on Jinkx, who’s standing in front of a pile of packed sandwiches with a knife in each hand.

“... leave.”

Detox raises an eyebrow. “What was that?”

“I… said… LEAVE”

Now.

Bianca draws her gun, without taking her eyes off Roxxxy. She’s about to lunge herself at this bitch with everything she has when, suddenly, she hears a strange *woosh* to her right.

Then what sounds like someone getting stabbed.

Her and Roxxxy turn at the exact same time. Bianca’s eyes don’t even have time to take in what she’s looking at before she hears Ivy whispering.

“That… that wasn’t me… I didn’t make that shot…”

Detox’s guns are at her feet. Her hands are instead clasped around the arrow that just buried itself in between her ribs. Her eyes are glazed with shock and confusion. She turns to face Roxxxy, who has dropped her spear and is just staring at her friend in disbelief.

”oh…”

Roxxxy lets out a strangled sob as Detox hits the ground with a sigh.

”NO!”

Everyone, including Bianca, stand frozen in position as Roxxxy practically throws herself over to her fallen partner and starts cradling her lifeless body. She gently presses their foreheads together as she half sobs half mumbles incomprehensible nothings to ears that will never hear again.

It’s horrible to watch. Gia has her eyes closed and head tilted down, and Courtney is covering her mouth with her hands. Jinkx is still paralyzed from the shock of it all. She hasn’t moved an inch since she gave them the warning.

As much as Bianca would love to turn around, she has to remind herself that they’re all still in relative danger. Grief does not only breed sadness, it breeds anger. Hatred. Spite.

A lust for vengeance.

*creak*

The sudden and unfamiliar noise fills the campsite. Bianca barely has time to register it before Ivy shouts ”EVERYONE DUCK!”

Another *woosh* whines past Bianca’s head, and another arrow hits the ground just two feet away from Roxxxy. This causes her to look up, and suddenly her expression changes.

”You…”

Something red flashes behind the trees left of them, and the sound of footsteps now has everyones full attention. No one says anything as Roxxxy grabs her spear and bags and starts running after the assailant. No one moves as the noises of their heels hitting the wooden floor fades into the wilderness.

Jinkx is the first one to walk over to the abandoned corpse. She gets down on her knees and strokes the hair out of her face. Then she presses her fingers against her eyelids, closing them.

”She looks so tranquil… it’s awful.” Jinkx whispers as she lays Detox down to rest.

”Should we… bury her?” Gia asks hesitantly.

”It isn’t safe to stay here. We should take everything that we’ve gathered and leave before Roxxxy eventually comes back.” Courtney replies.

”You’re right.” Ivy puts a hand on Jinkx’ shoulder. ”We’ve done everything we can already. Let’s move.”

Bianca stuffs as many bottles of water into her bag as she can. No one else says anything for the remainder of the raid. As they set out into the woods again, the sun is already setting.

#rpdr fanfiction #gia gunn #bianca del rio #courtney act #jinkx monsoon #ivy winters #roxxxy andrews #and so we run #hunger games au #traumathicc #tw blood #tw death #detox icunt

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