#it introduces all the main characters and relationships and backstories

[gav-san]

Cyrano de Birderac (1/2)

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Two-Shot: Rob Lucci x reader Length: 3.5 K+ Rating: 16+ (Language)

How You Accidentally Got Romanced by Cipher Pol's Deadliest Duo: Featuring: Rob Lucci, the man who could kill you with a stapler, but primarily uses it to silently admire you from the other side of the office. And Hattori, his smug little wingman with no filter, no chill, and absolutely no authorization to be this romantic. Aka, his wingman.

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Based on this: HERE

You genuinely thought he was mute.

Not shy. Not quiet. Not “strong, silent type” with a dark secret and a heart of gold.

No. You thought Rob Lucci was physically incapable of human speech. Like maybe someone had taken a particularly intense marble statue, dressed it in a three-piece suit, gifted it a bird, and said, “You now work here.”

The first time you met him, he didn’t say a word. Didn’t introduce himself. Didn’t shake your hand. Didn’t even blink, as far as you could tell.

He just looked at you. Eyes sharp, expression unreadable, like someone trying to determine your net worth by evaluating the alignment of your paperclips, and nodded once.

Then he turned and vanished into the Galley-La employee room like a hot, brooding ghost with a government pension and a deeply committed relationship with lint rollers.

And that was that.

You’d written him off immediately as one of Water 7’s many mildly disturbing background characters. Every town had them. Yours just happened to come with better tailoring.

Mysterious. Intense. Overdressed for the weather. Silent. Attractive enough to generate a fan club by simply existing within five meters of a reflective surface.

You assumed he worked security, probably ex-military. Conceivably dishonorably discharged for being too emotionally constipated. Definitely broody. Possibly had a tragic backstory involving betrayal, fire, or rain. Or all three. Honestly? It tracked.

He never spoke. He never smiled. He never sweated, despite the fact that Water 7’s humidity could bend steel.

And he had a pigeon.

Which. Talked.

The bird wore a tiny tie. It rode around on his shoulder like a judgmental assistant manager. It flapped dramatically. And it spoke, in a smug, overly articulate voice that made you suspect it had either been enchanted or was possessed by the spirit of a snarky retired librarian.

At first, the bird’s comments were harmless. Weird, but harmless.

“He says your notes are very organized.”

You paused mid-sentence. Glanced at Lucci.

He didn’t react. Just stood there like a particularly disapproving umbrella stand.

“He appreciates your time management skills.”

Okay. Fine. A little specific, but still within the realm of professional compliments.

Then the bird said:

“He likes the way you smell today.”

You froze mid-paperclip.

“…I’m sorry, what?”

Lucci didn’t blink. Didn’t twitch. He just stared at the wall, as if it had offended his ancestors. The pigeon preened. Innocent.

“What? I didn’t say he said it.”

Your brain short-circuited slightly.

It wasn’t like you were some stranger to eccentric coworkers. You worked with Paulie, after all, a man who had once tried to fire a cannon inside a filing room because he was "testing acoustics.” You’d seen weirder. You’d survived worse.

But this? This was new.

You were just the secretary. You handled contracts, corrected dock schedules, and—crucially—stayed out of things. You liked tidy margins and lunches eaten at your desk. You liked knowing what was on your calendar for the next three weeks. You liked not having to emotionally interpret men who communicated via birds.

And yet.

Lucci. He was silent. Polished. Always at Iceburg’s side, or standing ominously by the stairwell, like a grim reaper with health insurance. He moved like an oil slick in a nice suit. Unbothered. Controlled. Maybe dangerously handsome?

But never impolite.

He opened doors for Iceburg. He returned documents exactly where he found them. He always made sure the coffee pot was full, even if he had just poured the last cup.

And sometimes, only sometimes, he stood so still in the far corner of the records room that a junior clerk tried to hang their coat on him. Lucci didn’t even react. Just stepped away once the hanger touched his shoulder, as if evaporating into the nearest wall was part of his job description.

At first, you thought it was some strange form of professional courtesy. A weird, ultra-efficient office drone who somehow had the presence of a cryptid. You chalked it up to the usual Water 7 eccentricities and moved on.

Until the bird started talking.

To you.

You were convinced Rob Lucci might be clinically incapable of basic conversation. A fully formed adult man whose soul had been replaced by a steam-powered filing cabinet. But his bird?

His bird had designs.

At first, you assumed the whole thing was a gimmick. A bizarre PR strategy has gone too far. Maybe Galley-La had decided their terrifyingly silent employee needed a mascot to soften his image and thought,“Let’s give the antisocial guy a bird! It’ll be quirky! Harmless!”

Only, it didn’t break the tension.

It weaponized it.

Because the bird? The bird had comments. And not for the room. Not for the team. Just for you.

“He says you’re very efficient with scheduling.”

You smiled. Glanced up from your desk.

Lucci stood by the doorway, hands behind his back, still as stone. He didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. Just regarded you like you were a particularly interesting spreadsheet.

“He says your handwriting reminds him of swordplay: Elegant but sharp.”

You stared.

Hattori didn’t look away.

“He says he likes how you organize your pens.”

Your eye twitched.

You told yourself he was just being nice. Probably. Maybe. Maybe he was one of those emotionally stunted types who didn’t know how to give compliments like a normal human, and outsourced the whole ordeal to his bird.

That seemed reasonable.

Until the comments got personal.

“He says your voice is his favorite background noise.”

You turned, slowly, towards Hattori.

Lucci was in the hallway this time, flipping through a folder like he wasn’t downright violating every Revery Convention on flirting.

“He memorized your coffee order. By accident. Probably.”

You nearly knocked your mug off your desk.

“He thinks your handwriting looks like it could kill a man. He finds it inspiring.”

You dropped your pen.

Lucci said nothing.

Did nothing.

He just blinked. Maybe. Once. Like a lizard.

And then, one perfectly average Thursday afternoon, with the wind off the sea and paperwork piling up around you, Hattori landed on your desk again. 

This time with no preamble. No softening lead-in. No buffer.

“He says your scent is… distracting.”

Your pen snapped clean in half.

Ink bled into your hand. You didn’t move. You didn’t breathe.

You slowly looked up, slowly, like you were checking for a sniper. Then meet Lucci’s gaze across the office.

He was perfectly composed.

Expression unreadable. Suit pristine. Pigeon, indeed, was thrilled with himself.

You just stared.

And for the first time, you wondered.

Was this real?

Was this man, this terrifyingly silent, possibly government-engineered humanoid statue, flirting with you?

Had you accidentally fallen into the middle of a slow-burn romance where one party refused to speak and the other was a bird?

You weren’t sure.

But you were beginning to suspect.

It wasn’t just the weird compliments. Or the way Lucci’s pigeon had somehow become your romantic intermediary-slash-personal hype man. It was the little things. The patterns.

The kind you don’t notice until they break.

Like the night of the storm.

You’d stayed late, as usual. A backlog of manifests had imploded in your inbox, and there was no one else qualified, or willing, to untangle the mess. Rain battered the windows like a desperate salesman. The lights flickered, the office creaked, and for a while, the only sound was the scratching of your pen and the hum of the generator.

Until you heard it.

Shoes.

And wings.

You turned, heart skipping. Rob Lucci stood just inside the doorway, water dripping from the hem of his coat. Hair damp. Expression unreadable. He looked like the final chapter of a noir novel; tall, tired, and two degrees short of poetic tragedy.

Hattori flapped forward, his usual dramatics absent. He landed on your desk with uncharacteristic softness. Almost reverent.

“He came back because he was worried. You didn’t clock out.”

You went still. Stunned.

“…How did he know that?”

Hattori looked at you. Quiet. Direct.

“He always knows.”

You stared at the bird. Then at the man in the doorway.

Lucci said nothing. He just stood there, dripping, watching you the way some people might observe a puzzle they weren’t allowed to touch.

And you didn’t know if that was sweet… or mildly alarming.

Maybe both.

You started noticing things after that.

Little shifts.

Lucci always arrived exactly three minutes after you did. Never late. Never early. Never made a show of it; just appeared, like a clock you couldn’t set but somehow always ran on your time.

You never ran out of supplies. Pens, staples, coffee stirrers, we’re always there. Neatly restocked before you ever realized you needed them.

Your chair was always at the perfect height, even after someone else used it. Even after the cleaning staff adjusted the levers. Always just right. You hadn’t touched it in weeks.

And your desk?

Never in the sun. Not directly. But always near enough to catch the warmth. To feel lit without being exposed.

It was subtle. Thoughtful.

And undeniably him.

You began to feel warm. Not just in the literal sense. But in that quiet, steady way that seeps in when someone pays attention to the details you never voice aloud. When someone doesn’t ask, but does.

It wasn’t dramatic.

It wasn’t a confession.

It was a routine. A presence. A thousand invisible gestures that said: I’m here. I see you. I remember.

And what made it sweeter was that he thought he was hiding it.

Rob Lucci remained mute.

Didn’t even communicate silently to you, not directly. Not unless you counted the subtle nods and brow twitches he used like punctuation. He moved like a man made of precision and threat; silent, sharp, and suspiciously well-pressed.

He nodded. He signed things. He glared at the pirates.

And, unfortunately, he let a pigeon do the talking.

At first, it was fine. A little eccentric, sure. But this was Water 7. Half your coworkers had dramatic pasts, questionable fashion choices, or secret identities involving masks and high explosives. Lucci, in comparison, was almost normal.

Silent. Predictable. Occasionally terrifying, like if someone made a scarecrow out of malice and Armani.

But the bird? The bird had plans.

The bird had opinions. The bird had range. And worse, the bird had you in its sights.

It started setting traps.

You were at your desk, calmly reviewing the revised port schedules, when Lucci stepped into your office like the final boss of a very expensive cologne commercial; black hair billowing slightly, green eyes fixed on you like you’d just insulted his entire bloodline.

“Here for the shipment manifests?” you asked, monotone, highlighting a line with your pen.

He nodded.

Hattori fluttered down onto your desk with all the grace of a stage actor making his entrance. He tilted his head at you with a slow, appraising blink.

“He says your organizational charts should be framed. Preferably above his bed.”

You froze. Your jaw tightened. Once. Twice.

 “…Excuse me?”

Across the room, Lucci’s brow furrowed. He made a sharp gesture—a sort of throat-cutting swipe—like he was trying to erase the bird from existence through sheer body language.

Hattori didn’t even flinch. The pigeon cooed smugly. 

“I’m paraphrasing.”

Lucci frowned. Actually frowned. Made a sharp, slicing gesture in the air like he was cutting ties with the concept of flirting itself. Hattori waves a wing like a little shit. (And for the first time, the world’s most feared assassin begins to suspect his bird has betrayed him.)

You stared at the bird. Then, at Lucci, who was now studiously examining the wall as if it contained a better reality.

You tried to go back to work.

You’d drop off files, and the bird would purr,

“He likes the way you cross your ankles.”

You’d misplace your pen, and as you leaned over the desk,

“He’s trying not to look. He’s failing.”

You once asked if Lucci was free for a team lunch.

The bird blinked.

“Emotionally or romantically?”

You nearly sued.

But Lucci?

Lucci never talked. Never smiled. Never laughed. Just stood there like a very finely sculpted statue carved from “brooding sex appeal and murder.” His eye twitched, though. 

You assumed it was a gag.

Until you passed by a window reflection and saw him watching you, not lazily, not idly, but hungrily.

Now, you’ve entered a strange state of denial.

You pretend you don’t notice the way Hattori gets more brazen when Lucci’s tired.

“He wants to know if you’re seeing anyone. And if you’d like to stop.”

You pretend it’s all just misinterpretation.

You pretend you’re not starting to pay extra attention to your clothes, your perfume, your hair.

But it’s getting harder to ignore when Lucci stands closer. When he lingers. When his gloved hand grazes yours under the guise of passing a file, the bird immediately croons:

“His hands are cold, but his thoughts are not.”

You choke on your tea.

The final straw?

You catch Hattori sitting alone at your desk one morning. No Lucci in sight.

The bird preens, fluffs his chest, and says softly, almost seriously:

“He dreams about your shared cubs. It’s making him stupid.”

You freeze. 

“…What?”

Lucci enters ten seconds later.

You pretend you didn’t hear. He pretends he didn’t send the bird ahead like a lovesick missile.

You began to realize something was deeply off when Hattori started enhancing basic conversations and turning logistical reports into accidental love letters. Your job was numbers. Timetables. Freight weights. And somehow, every interaction began to sound like a courtship dance choreographed by an over-caffeinated playwright.

You: “Please confirm the number of ships arriving by noon.” 

Hattori: “He’s saving up PTO for your future joint honeymoon. He hasn’t asked yet. Give it time.”

You: “Does he want coffee?”

Hattori: “He says your mere existence has set off seven internal alarms. He welcomes the threat.”

You: slamming a drawer shut so hard the pens rattled

 Lucci: grim silence, nostrils flaring slightly

 Hattori: “He’s begging me to stop, but he’s too proud to say it out loud.”

You looked up.

Lucci was standing near the doorway, arms folded tight across his chest like he was physically restraining himself from committing homicide. His eyes were closed. Meditative. Or possibly murderous.

The tension in his jaw could’ve cut steel.

Meanwhile, the bird, his tiny, traitorous accomplice, puffed his feathers and looked pleased with himself. Smug. Gleeful. Like this was all part of a larger plan. A slow-burn play scripted with a glitter pen and romantic sabotage.

Worse still?

You were beginning to enjoy it.

It had become your favorite part of the day. Watching Rob Lucci, the human personification of a locked filing cabinet, be undone by a bird with theatrical ambitions. The subtle glances. The growing exasperation. The brief, rare flashes of discomfort; so slight, you’d miss them if you weren’t already looking.

Which you were.

You caught the way his eyes flicked to your desk before you arrived. The exact three-minute delay between your arrival and his. The steady appearance of perfectly stocked pens, fresh staples, and your favorite brand of coffee stirrers is constantly restocked without fanfare. No one ever admitted to it.

Your chair was always at the right height, even after someone else sat in it.

Your workspace? Never in direct sun, but always near it; warm, comfortable, intentional.

It couldn’t be a coincidence.

But he never said anything.

And the bird?

The bird got bolder.

“He thinks you’d look good in his tie. Just his tie.”

That last one made you inhale so sharply, you nearly choked on your spit.

Across the office, Lucci dropped an entire folder. Just: bam. Documents scattered. Eyelid twitching.

Hattori? Beaming. Practically glowing.

You start leaving little treats out for Hattori. Cleaning up your desk just in case Lucci drops by. Pretending not to notice how red his ears get when Hattori says things like:

“He dreams about the way you pronounce ‘ledger.’”

Lucci nearly crushed a clipboard that time. You almost fainted. From either horror or interest, you’re not sure.

You cornered the pigeon not long after on a late afternoon. Balcony breeze ruffling the curtains. Lucci was inside, reviewing invoices with the intensity of a man interrogating them for war crimes.

You cross your arms.

“Are you actually repeating what he says?”

Hattori fluffs his feathers. “Define ‘actually.’”

You narrow your eyes. “He doesn’t even talk to you, does he?”

The bird tilts its head. Then, smugly:

“I’ve taken creative liberties.”

You gape. “You’re telling me—he has no idea?”

“He thinks he’s just sending basic orders. I’ve been ghostwriting this romance for months.”

You gaped. “So none of this was real?”

Hattori fluffed his wings.

“Oh, no. It’s all real. He just… doesn’t know how to say it yet.”

He flapped once and landed on the railing.

“Someone had to move the plot forward.”

You looked up. Slowly.

Lucci was standing by the window, the morning light cutting across his tank top in pale gold. Still. Silent. As always.

But you noticed it now, the tension in his shoulders. The stillness that wasn’t indifference but restraint. Like he was holding his breath behind his eyes.

You met his gaze.

He looked away.

And the bird?

The bird just cooed. Softly. Like a curtain closing on the final act of a play only he’d been narrating.

He hasn’t said anything yet because he thinks he shouldn't want things like this. Things like you.”

Inside, Rob Lucci looked up from his paperwork, just in time to see you laughing.

Really laughing.

And something in his posture eased. Barely. A ripple across stone.

He didn’t smile.

But his eyes softened, just enough.

And the bird? The bird winked at you.

Then the bastard adds:

“You’re welcome.”

You’ve been working with Rob Lucci for three months now.

Three months of complete silence from him. Three months of Hattori the Hellbird™ crooning veiled compliments and romantic espionage. Three months of subtle, possibly imagined kindnesses.

And you’re starting to feel like you’re losing your damn mind.

You know better than to crush on a coworker. Especially one who doesn’t talk. Especially one whose bird might be a liar. Especially one who, for all you know, is just standing there like a statue while his bird builds an elaborate fantasy in his name.

But…

Your pens never run dry. Your coffee is always at the perfect temperature. Your broken drawer now glides like butter, and you never told anyone it was stuck.

And that one time you nearly tripped in the hallway?

Lucci didn’t even blink. But the moment you stumbled, he had a hand on your lower back; steady, firm, gone in a second.

Hattori said nothing that time.

You’re beginning to believe the bird might actually be the most honest part of this entire equation.

You finally snap during a meeting.

Iceburg is droning on about port clearance when you accidentally glance at Lucci. He’s looking at you, not just casually, but like he’s been looking at you. Focused. Faintly frowning. That same unreadable stare he always has, but this time, it catches you in the chest.

You drop your pen. Hattori says:

“He’s wondering if you drop things around him on purpose so he’ll bend over. He finds it flattering.”

You make a noise somewhere between a squeak and a groan.

You corner Iceburg in the break room with the dead-eyed intensity of a woman on the edge.

“I need to ask something,” you mutter, gripping your coffee cup like a lifeline. “But I need you to promise not to laugh.”

Iceburg raises an eyebrow. “…Sounds promising.”

You exhale. “Is Lucci… weird with everyone? Or just me?”

He pauses. “You mean silent? Or brooding?”

“Neither! I mean—yes, but—” You rub your temples. “I think he might be… doing things for me. Quiet things. I don’t know. Helpful things. Sweet things. And the bird—” 

You gesture vaguely, as if invoking some cursed spirit.

“The bird keeps saying things. Romantic things. Things I want to believe but probably shouldn’t.”

Iceburg stares.

Then he leans back and mutters, “Oh.”

You blink. “What?”

He takes a long sip of coffee. “That damn pigeon. I told Lucci not to let it speak unsupervised. It’s been running rogue since that last shop had a parrot who taught it sentience.”

Your blood goes cold. “You mean Lucci doesn’t know what the bird’s been saying?”

“Oh, no, he probably knows.” Iceburg shrugs. “Eventually. But he’s the kind of guy who’ll watch a building burn down and wait for someone else to call the fire department. If that bird is confessing for him, he’ll let it burn.”

You stare. “So you’re saying I’ve spent three months being seduced by a pigeon with zero confirmation that the man behind it is even aware it’s happening?!”

Iceburg pats your shoulder. “You’re doing great.”

You go back to your desk, shoulders tense, heart pounding.

Lucci glances up from a file. Doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t need to. The look lingers a second too long.

Then Hattori hops onto your keyboard and says sweetly:

“He dreams of you in his bed. But mostly, he dreams of you staying.”

You close your eyes.

“…If I punch the bird, does that count as workplace violence?”

“Lucci wonders if you like your men quiet or dangerous. He’s asking for a friend. A very quiet, dangerous friend.”

You think he might not be just the public’s problem. He might be yours.

I'm apologizing for my last story with this one.

[ultimatebottom69]

Yeah frankly if I learn Sasha is in the project i love Mimi but I am not playing this story out of DR...If i am playing it at all.

I don't see how one can make an actually likeable sequel to this pesudo-edgy creepypasta 2010's worthy of fuckfest.

I am sad it took Sasha ruining the two main li's plot, characterization (the little they had) and relationship with the MC (Lane) for everyone to see it. I feel like watching Remy rise and fall of fame all over again.

HSR man… enough has been said, but I still need to say my piece. The train has been derailing for a while now, so it’s something we’ve seen coming, but that still doesn’t make the aftermath any easier to process. I’m absolutely gutted because the potential of what Dmitry and Lane could have been in the hands of a less bigoted and hateful writer... that’s really what I’m mourning now at this point (and what Anna & Greg romancers have been mourning for a while now).

I’ve seen people say “well Lane was always supposed to be like this, she was never supposed to be a good person.” Then what was the point of establishing the Voice of God and Whisper of the Devil paths? What was the point of branching routes where she is either aligned with the squad or out for herself? What was the point of any of it if, when it comes down to the most rudimentary choices and the most crucial moments, Lane can ultimately never be redeemed? If she can never grow? Even if she is like Audrey, and it’s all designed for her to ultimately end up as a sacrificial lamb, where is your accountability as an author for your main character’s lack of development? There is a way to write flawed/complex/traumatized characters navigating a dystopian world WITHOUT disillusioning your entire audience in the process. An audience who have not only invested resources like time and money, but also grown emotionally attached to the characters you’ve developed.

I used to lose sleep in the beginning updates of this story because I was genuinely excited by the possibilities. I was excited about the idea of expanding the HS universe that has held a special place in my heart since I first started playing RC at the peak of my depression in 2021. And Sasha has repeatedly disrespected and perverted that world. Suffice to say, I’m completely done with HSR and strapped the hell in for HS3. Sasha better have NOTHING to do with that project. Like I don’t even want her pinky toe to be within a 30 mile radius of it. She can’t sit with us.

[solgsts]

squid game season 3 was a waste of incredible characters, talent and plot.

my take on whatever just happened because i can’t keep it in LMAO:

the lack of screen time for gihun and inho was genuinely one of the worst things they could have done; gihun doesn’t know that inho and junho are brothers, inhos backstory, how inho was in the same position as him etc. gihun asked no questions when he had the opportunity, which is so out of character and takes away from the plot completely.

the amount of mischaracterisation. of course, i’m just saying this as a fan, but what they did with daeho made absolutely no sense in general, or for him as a character. while on the topic of daeho, it made no sense for gihun to hunt him down and murder him with his bare hands. gihun’s character has always been against violence, always putting his morals first but fighting back when needed. the attack was so incredibly out of character and unneeded. further, myunggi’s character was completely misconstrued (to clarify, i am anything BUT a myunggi glazer i’ve disliked that ho since s2😭). yes, he was an asshole, but he clearly did not kill just for fun. he made his care for junhee evident throughout s2 and even the beginning of s3, so why the fuck did they decide to take his smaller traits of valuing money and violence so far and make him go batshit crazy? it makes very little sense.

junhee and her baby. why, WHY was the baby the main character? the women were all killed off as soon as possible, the baby was prioritised over the mother; the misogyny isn’t even hidden anymore. gihun was barely even the main character. at this point, it honestly feels like squidgame was to encourage the increase of south korean birthrates????😭

the finalists. why were they a bunch of randoms? there were so many well built characters; hyunju, daeho, namgyu, who could’ve provided a much more in depth and intense fight (like namgyu v minsu) with ACTUAL BACKGROUND. these characters were people none of us cared about, because they were not developed whatsoever!!!!! player 100 somehow made it all the way through by being a man and a cunt, hyunju deserved better.

hwang brothers. “Hyung… why?!” that’s fucking it. that’s IT. junho acquired a fucking baby and some new yaoi but didn’t even get to talk to his brother after searching for so long? their relationship didn’t get developed at all this season and it just feels so out of place.

noeul’s storyline. i like her, and i believe she could’ve been a good character, so why did they introduce a side plot that has absolutely NO relevance to anything else? like yeah, it was cute, he got out and saved his daughter, but WHY DID IT HAPPEN??? THERE IS NO EXPLANATION OR BUILDING ON IT!!!

the queer baiting media.

thank you if you read my rant. 💗

+++ namgyu was honestly funny as fuck (though i feel like he was mischaracterised a bit too), but WHYYYY was his death so bleak and just BRUSHED OFF like that💔💔💔

[literaryvein-reblogs]

A 3-Part Book Editing Checklist

PART 1: The "Big Picture"

Identify and fix macro problems relating to plot, character development, narrative arc, and theme.

THEME & IDEA

Is a compelling dramatic question present throughout the book?

Is there a clear theme? Is it well-developed and engaging?

Can you recap your story or argument in this single sentence? “[Character] must [do something] to achieve [goal] or [reason why the audience should care]”

Is there a clear central conflict? Is it resolved by the end of the book?

STRUCTURE Fiction & Memoir; Nonfiction

Fiction & Memoir

Is there a strong beginning, middle, end?

Does your exposition effectively set the story? Introduce the cast of characters? Impart backstory?

Is your rising action triggered by a compelling inciting incident? Does it escalate the conflict and raise the tension?

Is the pace of each act in the narrative arc appropriate?

Does the plot maintain forward movement in each chapter? Do subplots support that momentum?

Are all major plot threads and subplots resolved by the denouement?

Do the plot points sync with the narrative arc and theme that you want to convey?

Do the plot twists make sense? Are there plot holes in the story?

Nonfiction

Does the first chapter of your book introduce your central question and explain why it’s important to answer?

Does your exposition adequately introduce readers to your topic? Does it provide enough context for them to understand your main argument?

Does each chapter or section build on the information that comes beforehand?

Is the length and pace of each chapter appropriate?

Does each chapter contain an appropriate mixture of fact and anecdote?

Is your structure engaging and easy to follow?

Does your book contain any extra information that distracts or detracts from the main argument?

Are there any holes or gaps in your argument?

CHARACTERS Protagonist; Antagonist; Supporting Cast; Setting

Protagonist

Does the protagonist have strengths and weaknesses? Do these interact with the story appropriately?

Does the protagonist grow and change?

Does the protagonist have defining mannerisms? Clear character traits?

Does the protagonist have external and internal goals? Are they visible throughout the story?

Does the protagonist act believably in each scene? Is the protagonist’s behavior consistent? Chart the protagonist’s character arc over the course of the story. Is it clearly and compellingly conveyed in the story?

Antagonist

Does the antagonist have story motivation?

Does the antagonist have a believable backstory?

Is the relationship between the protagonist and the antagonist clearly defined?

Supporting Cast

Is the supporting cast fleshed out?

Do the secondary characters have a reason to be there? Do they:

Reveal key details?

Advance the plot?

Motivate the protagonist?

Help define the setting?

Are interactions between the secondary character and the protagonist believable and well-placed?

Do the secondary characters have distinguishing characteristics or mannerisms?

Setting

Does the setting make sense for the purposes of the story? Does it matter to the plot?

Are descriptions of the setting rendered effectively and appropriately?

Does each scene convey a clear sense of place and time?

Is the worldbuilding fully realized? Logically consistent?

Fact-check each scene in relation to the setting. Are objects, props, mannerisms, and behaviors native to the time and place of the story?

PART 2: The "Scene" Level

Strengthen specific elements within individual scenes

SCENES & CHAPTERS

Is the opening scene effective?

Does it start in the right place?

Does it have a hook? Is the hook immediately gripping?

Are the scenes appropriately paced to grab the readers’ attention? Are the chapter lengths effective?

Does each scene serve a purpose in the story?

Is each scene oriented in terms of time and place?

Are scene transitions smooth?

DIALOGUE

Does the dialogue serve a purpose in each scene? Does it:

Provide information?

Advance the plot?

Help the pace?

Does each character have a distinct voice?

Is the dialogue believable for the time and place of the story? Is the word choice reflective of the time period?

Does the dialogue use action beats to control the pace of the scene?

COMPOSITION Voice & Point of View; Prose

Voice & Point of View

Is the narrator’s voice consistent?

Is the voice appropriate given the context of the book and its story or argument?

Is foreshadowing used effectively, if applicable? Metaphors? Similes?

Is the viewpoint character always clear? Is it consistent between scenes?

Is the point of view suitable for each scene? Is there a better alternative for a viewpoint character in any given scene?

Prose

Is the backstory of the world or characters efficiently woven into the story?

Does each sentence contribute something to the story?

Do you “show, don’t tell” with your dialogue, characters, and setting?

QUOTES & REFERENCES

Are quotes and references used to support the argument?

Are all of your sources reliable?

Do quotes help aid the narrative progression, or do they interrupt it?

Have you paraphrased where possible?

Are there appropriate transitions before and after references?

Are all quotations accurate?

Have you chosen a citation style?

Have you cited all references according to that style?

PART 3: The "Line" Edit

Ensure the text is objectively correct. This covers everything from typos and grammar to continuity and syntax.

PUNCTUATION & DIALOGUE

Limit the use of adverbs in your dialogue tags. (Show, don’t tell!)

✗ “Why did you eat my turkey sandwich?” said Harry angrily. ✓ Harry upended the table. “Why did you eat my turkey sandwich?”

Check for the use of other dialogue tags and replace them with “said” and “asked,” unless other emphasis is absolutely necessary.

✗ “Did you just stab me with this thimble?” queried Amber. ✓ “Did you just stab me with this thimble?” asked Amber.

Check that all of the dialogue is formatted correctly.

✗ “I love you.” Said Pam. ✓ “I love you,” said Pam.

VOICE

Limit the use of weak verbs and adverbs in general.

✗ Leonard ran quickly to school. ✓ Leonard sprinted to school.

Replace all “hidden” verbs.

✗ Offer an explanation ✓ Explain

Check for the use of passive voice and replace with active voice, whenever appropriate.

✗ The ball was kicked. ✓ She kicked the ball.

Use “telling” words such as “felt,” “saw,” “knew,” and “seemed” sparingly.

✗ His head felt awful. ✓ His head throbbed.

LANGUAGE

Delete vague and subjective words.

✗ Could, might, maybe, more, poor, good, excellent, bad, some, multiple, really, literally, suddenly, simply, just, a little, almost, etc

Delete all instances of cliches in the text.

✗ It was a dark and stormy night.

Check for excessive repetition in the text.

✗ Go to [do something]

Check for instances of overly complicated language.

✗ In close proximity ✓ Near

Source ⚜ More: Writing Worksheets & Templates Writing References: Plot ⚜ Character ⚜ Worldbuilding

More Notes: On Editing

[circuitcircus]

in defense of kabumisu……..

addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ‘bad’ or why their canon relationship ‘doesn’t mean anything’ while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have

listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you don’t see it around then god I wish that were me) there’s an age gap!- erm there’s also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh

kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?

kabru isn’t treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and foot…I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao

he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after he…...y’know. speaking of which-

they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"

you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrun’s backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. it’s just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen

mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other

i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didn’t recognize him when they talked for the first time)

mithrun is racist!- he’s actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didn’t use ‘outdated slurs’

(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe it’s worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)

taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.

that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.

+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.

+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:

also here we have him washing his own body

just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. he’s captain for a reason

kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. i’m sure he’s grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well

he even starts doing “unnecessary” things for mithrun’s comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back

here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):

there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabru…)

kabru’s relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but it’s often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isn’t even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason 🥲🥲

kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant

you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters 😭 i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately

also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:

and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more

kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely

haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis 🤪🤪🤪

also don’t somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of don’t make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters

bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:

[blueteller]

I found this on reddit it's not my opinion but it's kind of funny and disconcerting.

What do you think?

( https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRant/s/uwKw63Cgoc )

"A rant on Trash of the Count’s Family

Alright before I begin I would like to preface by saying that I am a long time reader of the novel and love this novel to death. It kept me company during my darkest and lowest points of my life and I am forever grateful for it !

The rant also in no way affects the brilliance of the story. With that out of the way here it goes:

This is an amazing fantasy novel filled with great visuals, writing, story and top-notch characters. However it has TWO big problems that broke the story smooth sailing for me and I need to rant about it because where I am from I am pretty sure no one reads TCF in a 6000 mile radius.

One big problem was the romance. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT. This is not a problem if the main character doesn’t want romance (he doesn’t nope) but NONE of the main/side characters that has been introduced so far also want nothing to do with romance. It was a little awkward to read the story based in medieval setting where characters are as pure as angels as they come.

Now, you can of course raise the point that romance was never the main focus of this novel (it’s not even a background focus or some D plot) but let’s analyse this novel here for a second okay? This novel is very gore and never ever shy away from very dark themes or stories.

- The main protagonist of the story (sorry forgot his name it’s been a long time) has his entire village with whom he has spent 20 years murdered and burned to ashes, all the men women and children are totally dead.

- The Prince story is also pretty dark and deals with some adult themes about race and identity.

- The dragon raon (is that the name?) backstory is…holy shit some hardcore torture and let’s not forget the revenge torture that happened later with raon eating steak.

- The butler and his butcher son

- The absolute crazy HUMAN EXPERIMENT arc that was happening in the Empire. I mean holy shit they really went into crazy detail about body mutilation and the scientists are absolute psychopaths in how they love their job.

And I am just scratching the surface about how dark this novel is and there’s plenty of it. The point is that it is very adult oriented novel with these stories but on the flip side their romance department is so negligible that even Tom and Jerry had more romance than this.

It actively avoids it like a plague. Why is this an issue? Let me explain.

Simple answer it feels a little jarring or disorienting when you read the novel like going back and forth between watching the looney tunes movie and switching immediately back to a Black Mirror episode.

But I have to give where credit is due. I didn’t notice the romance problem until after some 500+ chapters later (that’s how good the novel story is ) and how did I notice it?

After some battle trying to reclaim the south (north?) tower and this is the part where the Empire’s royalty is on the brink of collapse the redhead girl (I also forgot her name but she is part of the main gang) is extremely tired after a long battle and Cale tries to help her by giving her some healing potions (remember at this point she is the only female character that understands Cale the most and their relationship is the most developed of all) but she says she is so tired she can’t even lift her arms, so Cale (as logic would have it) offers to feed her the potion himself (see completely logical under the circumstances) but Raon the dragon out of nowhere says, “You are too weak Cale! Let me do it”. And I am like…say what? We know the main gang always comments that Cale is weak and all but come on guys we know he isn’t and in fact he’s been through crazy shit. During that battle he never had to fight and was in top condition so that remark from raon made even more less sense.

And then the redhead laughed it off and said “it’s okay I will do it myself” and she does…after a bit of struggle to lift the said bottle.

It’s a small thing but it did break my immersion (it was already broken before, I will explain later). It forced me as a reader to actually “think” about the author intentions something that should never happen when reading a fantasy novel. And it made me go “hmm wait a minute” and then I reflected back on all the 500+ chapters I have read and I came to a realisation that…forget main character romance there is hardly any romance of any proportions from any and every character in this whole novel! It was so impossibly impossible that it teared through the immersion completely.

The second reason for this rant and this is connected to when my immersion showed a small crack. And this reason is purely a preference thing so feel free to ignore this as you want.

I personally believe that when you make a “reborn in a fantasy world” story you absolutely must never collide “our” world with the fantasy world.

Don’t do that.

From page 1 you are setting up this fantasy life, fantasy way of living and thinking, fantasy people, fantasy stories and most importantly a fantasy you. Don’t break this immersion by literally making the world he (Cale) came from an integral part of the story.

When the main protagonist found out who Cale really is and confronted him about it by listing some Korean food items I was a little disappointed because it felt like a parent telling a child that role playing as a prince and over now put the castle made of pillows back in place and do your homework for school tomorrow.

Maybe it’s just a me thing but after that confrontation, every time Cale interacted with anyone be it the redhead, his dragon, butler or anyone it all felt so plastic and fake, like I was overly conscious of the fact that this is a fantasy land filled with fantasy people and well…it made me feel a little lonely."

Wow, this is quite interesting! Thanks for sending me this. Not because I agree – anyone who knows anything about my opinions on TCF would know that the very 2 points that the author of this post has "problems with" are the things that I embrace with great enthusiasm.

So, prepare for a long ride!

First of all, let me make this absolutely clear, the same way this person did at the beginning of their own post; they are allowed to have their own opinion on what they like or dislike. The same way I am allowed to like or dislike certain elements of stories. I don't claim that TCF is a flawless work either – it's just that all the flaws it does have, at least to me, are so minor I don't care about them in the slightest.

I might actually be "brave enough" in the future to actually make my own post about the "flaws" of the story for me, no matter how few. But not today. Today, let's focus on the reddit post.

Now, imagine a person (the author of this post) is given an apple pie in a restaurant.

This person very much enjoys apple pies. They continue to visit the same restaurant and keep ordering this apple pie. But after a while, they discover "two big problems" with the apple pie.

First of all, it does not contain cinnamon. So this person is like – why not! That is, they did not notice before, but it is SO jarring to them now that they know! Because they believe all apple pies should contain cinnamon. Secondly, this apple pie is made out of a species of apples they do not like. In fact, they are convinced this apple species is not fit for apple pies! So, they quit ordering apple pies at this restaurant.

Meanwhile, there's a second regular customer (me) who orders the apple pie at this restaurant. This customer, in fact, is kind of sick of cinnamon. They were so happy they discovered a restaurant that doesn't use it! This person also notices this apple pie has a very interesting texture to it, one they very much enjoy, because of the specific apple species this restaurant uses. It quickly became their all-time favorite dessert.

Obviously, neither customer here is wrong. "The customer is always right in matters of taste" is a saying for a reason (although people usually say only the first half of it, forgetting the second part), and just because I love the "apple pie" in question, I am not going to shame the other person for their own taste.

With all that said, please allow me to address to the post properly, step by step.

First, when addressing the lack of romance as a problem, this is this person's argument: they list major dark moments in the story, like Choi Han's village getting massacred, dark race racism, Raon's torture et cetera. Then they say, "The point is that it is very adult oriented novel with these stories but on the flip side their romance department is so negligible that even Tom and Jerry had more romance than this".

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe… Tom and Jerry had any romance either. That cartoon did not even have dialogue. So like, huh??? What kind of argument is that? Should I say that Tom and Jerry has a critical flaw that is has no talking despite being all about comedy? That it would have been better if it was dubbed or something? Well, there was that one movie I remember from childhood but – never mind, we're getting off track here. This argument kind of, completely falls flat for me.

I get the implication. "TCF is has so many dark themes, it should be mature enough to contain romance as well". Which is, completely off the mark for me, personally. Maturity and romance have NOTHING to do with each other.

There's also the statement that "It actively avoids [romance] like a plague." And I agree, kind of. This story avoids romance on purpose. But It never felt unnatural for me. I was kind of expecting it to pop up eventually, back when I first started reading. I thought for SURE Rosalyn would be somebody's love interest – because she had to be, right?? But it gradually dawned on me that there are so many cool, pretty, strong, independent female characters… And none of them are representing a specific fetish or exist solely to be somebody's wifu. The women are PEOPLE, they are fleshed-out, complex characters who have goals and ambitions and just like for the men, there is no thought about romance here because there is so much going on – most of it world-ending, in fact – that focusing in romance would actually DECREASE the maturity of the story instead of enhancing it.

The author of the post said, "It was so impossibly impossible that it teared through the immersion completely". What, do you need characters getting laid to be truly realistic mature adults or something? I think you have the wrong idea about adulthood… Let me say it again, those people are too busy in this story to focus on dating. Even if Cale himself wasn't so obviously ace, his life has been so crazy since he transmigrated, I have no idea HOW on earth he could have found the time (or anyone else for that matter: just look at poor Alberu, swimming in paperwork 24/7!). He can't even sleep for more than 4 hours per day during the war arc. What I personally would find jarring is exactly this: characters trying to freaking date or play off romantic subplots while the world was LITERALLY GETTING DESTROYED. That would have been so petty and ridiculous.

So, the expectation that there HAS to be romance, just because… I think it is a faulty expectation to have in the first place. And it is NOT unnatural that the characters don't do romance (especially with how many species there are among the cast and the age gaps between them, it would have been awkward to say the least; unless you're the type to like Twilight style of romance). The story put a lot of focus to forge familial bonds between the characters. It doesn't lack in the relationship department, just non-platonic one. And if this is a problem for someone and they find it jarring, well… Again, no cinnamon in apple pie, I guess.

Next, we have the argument that "when you read the novel like going back and forth between watching the looney tunes movie and switching immediately back to a Black Mirror episode". I don't know Black Mirror, but I get it. The author of the post claims that the comedic character interactions – the ones that had been very well established in the first 200 chapters of the story, covering full 2 years in the timeline – are… what, unrealistic? Inaccurate? Cartoonish? I’m not 100% sure what the exact issue is here.

They quote a scene where I assume Rosalyn is too tired to lift her arms and Cale offers to help and Raon says he's too weak and let him do it instead. The author of the post then acts confused, as if it was completely unreasonable, because Cale is not weak. Um…. I don't know if they were not paying attention, but that's just false. Cale is PHYSICALLY weak, despite all his Ancient Powers. That is exactly the whole reason why he keeps coughing blood and fainting and stuff. So it was funny, and in-character, and fitting with the rest of the story – at least in my opinion. If that broke this person's immersion, then fine I guess, but I really don't see the reason. I guess they don't enjoy the "texture" of this "apple pie".

Speaking of texture, the last point pf the post I want to address: the belief that you should not mix "real world" and fantasy. They say, "I personally believe that when you make a "reborn in a fantasy world" story you absolutely must never collide "our" world with the fantasy world. Don't do that". Excuse me, but uh… why? That is not the case at all, for many stories? I mean, you could approach it that way, nothing wrong with keeping it separate. But most classic isekai examples usually stray from that idea, actually. Are you familiar with Chronicles of Narnia, by any chance? Did you know that the magical lamppost that Lucy found in the woods actually came from England? It was a very fun bit of backstory from the Magician's Nephew.

"Don't break this immersion by literally making the world he (Cale) came from an integral part of the story." Why not, man??? It was so brilliantly done! In fact, it was so freaking cool, the way TCF did it! What, is "our world" so boring and terrible you must keep it separate from the fantasy at any cost? It was plot relevant, it gave Cale legit ties to the new world, it fleshed out his character, it was incredible! 10/10! If TCF lost that element, it would have been a great loss.

And even if you don't like the mixing of "fantasy and reality" as something "immersion breaking"… there is one problem with this kind of argument, in TCF at least.

Kim Rok Soo is NOT FROM OUR REALITY.

Let me repeat: the man is not from regular, modern Korea! HE IS FROM A FANTASY MONSTER APOCALYPSE DIMENSION!

The whole reveal of what kind of place KRS comes from is what make this story so good to me. It was an incredible twist. The "regular, normal man from modern world" was a red herring meant to hide the fact that he was an ability user from what is basically a superhero world full of monsters! It is not! Regular! Modern! World!!!

"When the main protagonist found out who Cale really is and confronted him about it by listing some Korean food items I was a little disappointed because it felt like a parent telling a child that role playing as a prince and over now put the castle made of pillows back in place and do your homework for school tomorrow." That… you really, REALLY missed the point here, man. That was not the vibe of the scene at all! Choi Han and Cale are both essentially war veterans, mentioning foods from their childhood! This the "Frodo and Sam talking about the flavor of strawberries from Shire at the foot of Mount Doom" from Lord of the Rings type of moment! Only, well, a bit more comedic. Still, it was so touching!! But, well… again, you don't like the taste of the pie, there is nothing I can do about it.

And lastly, there was this paragraph at the end of the post:

"Maybe it's just a me thing but after that confrontation, every time Cale interacted with anyone be it the redhead, his dragon, butler or anyone it all felt so plastic and fake, like I was overly conscious of the fact that this is a fantasy land filled with fantasy people and well… it made me feel a little lonely."

I never noticed such a thing. I do not know if more people felt that way. But I always thought that the characters were well-established and their behavior natural. I am sorry that the immersion break made the author of the post lonely. I hope they can spend time with their friends and feel a little better. Fantasy shouldn't just be a tool to "fill an empty void in your life and escape terrible reality". For me, stories are meant to create something beautiful, to inspire, and to make one consider the possibilities of reality. I mean, if Cale can stop world-ending threats by being brave and making good strategies, why can't I handle the minor problems that reality has to offer? It's all a matter of perspective.

So, that is it. That's my whole response. I hope it satisfies you! Have a great day!

[maleyanderecafe]

My Charming Neighbor Has A Secret (Webcomic)

Created by: RoShimafuku / NatsukoUmezawa

Genre: Romance/Horror

I will say this one is wildly entertaining with the way it goes from cute romance to horror to almost a slapstick comedy. It also has a pretty self aware yandere that grovels so that's also pretty fun. All in all while it's probably not the most realistically handled, it is super fun to read. I actually remembered this one back before it was officially translated and when it was just in black and white. It is currently at around 50 chapters at the time of writing this.

The story starts out with the main character Fujiko as she works at her office job. She seems to be a bit of a people pleaser, being easily pushed around. This is in part due to the fact that she has to work to help pay off her family's debts which made it so she couldn't go to college, which she feels insecure about. We get introduced to Fujiko's friend Tanabe as well as a close coworker named Sakamoto. After returning back from work, her new neighbor, Nishima introduces himself. Fujiko is immediately smitten with him. The two get closer and talk to each other when they drink outside on the balcony and Fujiko even accidentally causes a hole between the two of their apartments. After her boss ends up dumping more work onto her, she later is able to vent to Nishima about it and talk more about her past. She also gets to learn more about Nishima as well, seeing that he's not close to his siblings the same way that Fujiko is to her brother. At work, Tanabe shows Fujiko a magazine with a bunch of hot guys and Fujiko finds out that Nishima is actually the CEO's son of a big company and gets sad when she finds out that Nishima has a girlfriend despite himself saying that he's single. Of course, when he tells Nishima about it, he states he lied on the magazine so people would stop confessing to him. We get more backstory about Nishima, seeing that his dad isn't really that good of a dad and that Nishima is going to pave his own future. Fujiko ends up giving a winning popcicle stick to Nishima so he can cash it in for her. Fujiko gets a fever at work and Sakamoto brings her home so she can rest and he takes care of her. Nishima ends up appearing in her apartment shortly after, stating that Sakamoto didn't lock the door and he wandered in. He ends up feeding Fujiko with his own cooking and gets a bit jealous of Sakamoto. The next day, he ends up brining this up to Tanabe, telling her that her neighbor was indeed the CEO that was in the magazine, though this gets resolved quickly as Tanabe was already dating someone and doesn't even remember who they were talking about. Tanabe and Fujiko go out on the night but upon returning home gets harassed by a bunch of guys. Here, Nishima ends up finding them and warding the guys away. He is able to drive her home safely and they even exchange numbers. Fujiko's brother comes to visit her and after talking to Nishima tells him that her brother is coming to visit and Nishima asks if he could meet him. She ends up talking about this with Tanabe, and while watching the news of a woman who fell out of a five story building, Fujiko recalls saving someone from suicide by talking then down from it, though she doesn't remember much. Fujiko picks up her brother, Toshimune and Fujiko reminisces about how she basically raised him. Nishima comes to visit and makes a good impression on Toshimune by giving him new shoes as a gift and while Fujiko is quickly doing laundry, she overhears Toshimune talking to Nishima about how great his sister is and how she did her best to make sure that he had a normal life. Toshimune goes home and in return for giving Toshimune really expensive shoes, Fujiko agress to cook for Nishimia. While they eat Fujiko's meal together, Fujiko solidifies her crush on him and the two kiss.

While thinking about their relationship, Fujiko's payslip flies out of her hands and into Nishima's apartment. Not wanting to disturb him, she decides to crawl into the hole connecting to their two apartments to retrieve it. Inside, Fujiko immediately finds an entire wall filled with her pictures. After looking around, she also finds a journal detailing all of his exchanges with Fujiko starting from yesterday onwards. She also finds his collection of stolen things from Fujiko. We cut to Nishima at work thinking about Fujiko and the kiss they had together. We get to see him tracking Fujiko and seeing his perspective when he saved her and Tanabe from those drunk guys and we also see how much stress Nishimia's work has had on him as he got promoted, seeing Fujiko as his only source of comfort. It gets confirmed that he was the guy that Fujiko saved from suicide all those years ago, and he ended up changing his appearance to fit her type as well as has been stalking her all this time. We see how happy he was when he first met Fujiko and talked to her as well as how he was completely aware that what he was doing was wrong, but could not stop. Upon coming home he gets the horrible realization that someone has looked through his stuff and immediately and correctly guesses that Fujiko had finally come in and found what he had been doing. Nishima freaks out and begs and knocks at Fujiko's door leading to Fujiko looking at him with disgust and giving back his cup. Nishima just drops the act entirely and goes full simp ( I don't have a better way to phrase this ). At work, she mulls over what is happening and feels completely unnerved to be at home. Instead of calling the police, Fujiko turns to Sakamoto to help with the problem. Sakamoto gets a bug detector from his house to scan her and when Sakamoto asks why she hasn't called the police yet, Fujiko states its because of how he was about to cry and also because since Nishima is rich, it would cause her to unnecessarily be involved in a lot of news. Sakamoto and Fujiko decide to pretend to be a couple so that Nishima will come over and the two can take him down. The two of them basically do this inside the apartment until Sakamoto attempts to fake kiss Fujiko and Nishima breaks in with a panic. Sakamoto is able to take Nishima down and tie him up. Sakamoto makes Nishima admit to what he's been doing including revealing that he put bugs in the wall sockets and put a tracking device in her stuffed animal keychain. Nishima reveals to Fujiko that he was the one he saved from jumping off the building years ago, though the reason why Fujiko didn't remember him is because he looked extremely different than he did before. After hearing his reasoning, Fujiko decides to not report this to the police as she doesn't want their two companies to be involved. She decides to not press charges as long as Nishima stops stalking her and being creepy, which he agrees to. The two end up going into the apartment to see Nishima's creepy collection of Fujiko things though Fujiko seems to be okay with keeping some of the things (like pictures and some of the diary entries) because she has such little documentation on her own life. Though he seems to accept his punishment he freaks out a bit when he realizes he won't be able to talk to her though does accept it as he doesn't want her to call the police on him next time.

The next day, Fujiko comes back and talks to one of her other neighbors who mentions that Nishima has been playing really loud music above from him as well as a ton of other noise. Fujiko starts to worry about Nishima and reads one of his diary entries. After he goes quiet, Fujiko gets worried and basically starts stalking Nishima back only to find him talking to another woman. She comes back sad and jealous. The next day, Tanabe, Fujiko and Sakamoto go out to a cat cafe after work to help ease Fujiko's nerves. Sakamoto reveals that he ended up telling Tanabe about everything after she pestered him enough and the three have a heartwarming conversation about everything that happened. The three of them celebrate Christmas together and it turns out that Sakamoto ended up inviting Nishima over so the two could talk. Everyone eventually gets drunk except for Nishima and Fujiko and the two start talking about what has been happening recently. He reveals that he made all that loud noise to get Fujiko to come over, but it failed. We also learn more about his parents, that they pushed him to be a perfectionist to the point of him torturing himself, to which Fujiko tries to reassure him stating that his parents probably wanted the best for him.

At work, there is a new hire that starts to work under Fujiko, Toru Takayama. While she has no interest in him, she ends up telling Nishima about it who gets jealous rather quickly, which scares her when he smells him on her after she has a afterwork drink with him. She gives a Christmas gift to Nishima, but after a while his apartment goes quiet and he doesn't return Fujiko's calls, worrying her. He moves out and leaves a letter for her, but after reading it, she goes to his company to talk to him. After meeting up, Fujiko confesses to him her feelings and the two of them become a couple. They go to a shrine afterwards where Nishima proposes to her to which she accepts.

So I will say the amount of whiplash some parts of the story gave me was pretty funny to say the least. In the beginning it starts out as a general romance story about two neighbors who fall in love. If you had no idea of the tropes of a yandere story, or saw the small hints, you probably would have no idea that he is one because it does a good job at maintaining Fujiko's perspective and doesn't make Nishima's actions too suspicious (I'd say at least). When she does find out that he has been stalking her, it turns more into horror, but ultimately becomes a lot less serious as she decides not to call the police on him. She does have some valid reasons for not doing so, like not getting Nishima's family involved and not getting their two companies involved, her main reason still seems to be because she still has a crush on him, which her other two friends understandably are a bit iffy about. From that point on, she eventually falls in love with him again and Nishima gets a bit less intense in his stalking. I think that for a lot of people this was somewhat of a turn off for the series given that it suddenly because a lot less realistic as I'm sure most people would have called the police given the fact that she found out that her neighbor was stalking her, but I personally find it pretty interesting how the story itself was able to evoke so many different reactions when it changed tones. It might be because she reacted so realistically to finding out and how most of the general things that happened in the plot are pretty realistic and that when she was stalked that the sudden shift in tone to romance was just too much, so people were put off by it. Honestly, the thing that is the most unrealistic is more the fact that Fujiko didn't call the police or at least properly sever the relationship with Nishima all because she still had a crush on him, which does effect the quality of the story, but I feel like its not so terrible that it ruins the entire thing. It is still heavily romance, so they had to get that romance in there somewhere.

Fujiko as an MC is pretty interesting to see because we can see how her childhood and life has affected how she views a lot of the world in the story. As a child her family was in debt so she had to work hard to pay them off and get out of it, which made her develop a complex for not being able to go to college or other higher education. We also see that this leads to her being a lot more of a people pleaser as a lot of work is put onto her by her boss, as she cannot push back and she can't lose this job. She has a close relationship with her brother, though it is mentioned by him that she basically raised him and gave him the opportunities she never had such as going to college. A lot of times, she never really focuses on herself too much, even stating that she never had this many pictures of herself when she finds the photos that Nishima has been taken. Other than her general lead of having romance take over some of her more common sense, she is very realistic in a lot of ways, a salary woman who is trying hard to pay off her family's debts. You can even debate that when she tries to reassure Nishima that his family does love him despite the fact that they put so much pressure on him to succeed that this is how she views her family as well, as she herself never talks ill of her own family despite the fact that she is burdened with having to pay off the debt that they accumulated. Whether or not this family is actually loving or not is hard to say since other than her brother, we never get to meet them, so it is hard to say whether she herself might not realize that her family members may not care for her as much as she realizes or that her family does really care but she has taken this debt upon herself. She is generally a pretty basic person in terms of the way she acts, but I do think that her background does make it compelling when we see her act in certain ways, as we can see where some of her thinking and others come from. She contrasts really well with Nishima as well, someone who is rich but whose family has also placed a great burden on him, so just in the same way that Fujiko saved him from jumping off, he might save her too from her family's debt.

Nishima as a character is generally standard in the way the rich CEO kids work in these stories but it is still fun to see his reasonings for everything. In his family he is the eldest and strived to be the best for his family members, however, either because of himself or his family's expectations (probably a bit of both though his family did put a lot of pressure on him), he ended up being too much of a perfectionist, causing him to be extremely stressed out to the point of wanting to jump off. He is saved by Fujiko and bit by bit changed himself to be someone that she would like, by changing his appearance, mannerisms and other things. While he is able to maintain this facade of being the perfect man, the moment that he learns that Fujiko finds out he's been stalking her, it completely drops to an almost overly obsessive and worshiping degree (well, I'm not complaining about that, haha), to the point of comedy. Nishima is the type of yandere who is aware that his actions are wrong but is unable to stop himself form doing so, and bit by bit gets closer to her. Fujiko has saved him in a lot of ways, not only his life but also his way of living because while he still has strife with how his family treats him, he is no longer to the point of wanting to die. Most of his yandere actions are on the point of a stalker- taking pictures of her, writing about her in a dairy spanning three plus years, saving items from her, tracking her, listening in on her, but when the facade drops, he also ends up becoming extremely worship heavy in a lot of sense-praising her for her basic actions like pouring tea or even just glaring at her. True sub yandere stuff, I live for that kind of thing. After the two talk it out, and he is no longer able to talk to Fujiko which causes him great strife and does try to get her to come over by making a lot of loud noises. While he does reform to some degree, he likely does keep a lot of his tendencies even afterwards, at least to not scare Fujiko. While overall, Nishima is essentially a relatively harmless yandere, I do like how the more grounded story makes it pretty chilling to see when Fujiko actually finds out about his stalking and how scared she is to see what he's done- at least initially. If Nishima were a bit more deranged, this probably wouldn't have gone as well as the story would have ended up being. Takayama might end up being a yandere as well in the future given some expressions that we see when talking to Fujiko, but we'll just have to wait and see.

The side characters, Tanabe, Sakamoto and Tashihibe are pretty fun. Although Tashihibe barely shows up, he definitely reminds me of my own brother (though Tashihibe is a lot more of a himbo) and I enjoy that he is able to talk more a bit about how he looks up to his sister and acknowledges what she's done to make his life better. Tanabe is pretty fun too, with a small conflict about Fujiko's jealousy as well as a good relationship she has that helps her feel less alone in both the workplace and at home. The real MVP is definitely Sakamoto though. He starts out seeming like just a playboy, but he is actually very caring towards Fujiko, taking her home when she gets sick, talking to her about not overworking herself and even helps to capture Nishima as he's the first person that she tells about the stalking in general as well as helping her find any of the bugs and tracking that Nishima might have put on her. I thought that I might not like this guy as much or that he might have become a love interest, but so far it doesn't seem that way at all, though he was a psuedo rival that Nishima had to compete with and is generally just a pretty reliable guy.

Overall, this story is pretty grounded, though very wild in its tonal shifts. I don't think it's an absolute masterpiece but it is very entertaining and I do like the various characters we see in it as it gives them likable and relatable personalities. Plus, if you have a hole in your heart from the Senior sitting next to you, this one has a yandere similar to that. His expressions and reactions are very fun and enjoyable.

[yes-no-maybe-soo]

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you with this message, but I wanted to ask you something.

I recently started playing Love and DeepSpace a few weeks ago. I actually downloaded it because of Sylus—his edits kept appearing on my feed, and I was instantly drawn to him. However, after downloading the game and going through his chapters, I found his behavior toward the MC quite problematic.

One of my friends told me that Sylus isn’t like the typical dark romance characters from today’s BookTok trends, which honestly made me even more excited to explore his story. But when I watched Long-Awaited Revelry, I was honestly shocked by how he was handling the MC. I couldn’t help but wonder—is this really the same man who once sacrificed himself for her?

I tried my best to dig deeper into his lore, and I genuinely found his character to be selfless and sacrificial. But I’m struggling to understand how someone so selfless could hurt the MC in the main storyline. I can overlook many things, but one scene in particular really gave me a huge ick—when he takes her to Philip's shop. If I remember correctly, he uses his evol on her body, and she even says, “It hurts.” Then he replies with, “You will hurt even more.” That scene truly unsettled me. How could he say that when she clearly expressed she was in pain? Isn't that physical abuse?

Please correct me if I’m misunderstanding or wrongly labeling it as abuse. I just can't seem to make sense of that moment, especially after immersing myself in his backstory. It feels like the writers did him dirty in Long-Awaited Revelry. I mean, if someone could sacrifice their life for the person they love, how could they ever intentionally hurt them—even to remind them of the past?

It’s really hard for me to connect the version of Sylus we see in that scene with the one from his 5-star memories, where he seems like a completely different, much softer person. I genuinely love him a lot, and that’s what makes it even more upsetting. I usually adore dark characters—the kind who would burn the world for their beloved but would never hurt their beloved. Sylus doing this in the main story was unexpected and, honestly, kind of icky for me. 🥲

How do I come to terms with his redemption arc after knowing what he did in Long-Awaited Revelry (especially that physical hurt while taking her to the shop)? Is there a deeper context I might be missing—something that justifies his behavior? I really don’t want to dislike him, but it’s hard to reconcile such a hurtful scene with the selfless man his backstory shows. And again im saying i do not hate him but its just hard to overlook that scene especially knowing that he loves her so much and is willing to do anything for her. It seems like the Sylus who is shown in the long awaited reverly is not the same Sylus who is shown as so selfless in his myth and in his recent soft memory cards.

So I've already gone into this a bit in two previous asks that you can find here and here. But I can delve into it again, though my answer will be the same just more in depth I guess lol ^^

Ok so here are my main points

I don't at all think that this is a case of bad or inconsistent writing by Sylus' creative team. Sylus is a carefully – meticulously, even – crafted character who'd been in development for at least 5 years before he was introduced in the main story. I guarantee that his team know what they are doing with him and that they'd never do him dirty. They love him as much as if not more than we the fanbase do.

It's important to remember that we lack a lot of lore and context. We don't have all the puzzle pieces yet when it comes to Sylus or his relationship with MC. We're missing a huge chunk of backstory starting from their escape from the nebula up to Sylus' Anecdote. It is very possible that something happened in that time (or perhaps in another myth?) that can provide further explanations for Sylus' behavior in LAR. We'll just have to be patient and see.

For now though the simplest and most logical explanation to me is that Sylus is acting out of character in early LAR because he is in emotional distress. He is hurt, distraught, frustrated, desperate, possibly even fearful. He did not at all expect for things to happen the way they did, for the love of his life to not recall him at all even after coming face to face, for her to hate him, nor for her powers to be weak. I think it's pretty clear that he worries something was done to weaken her during the time that he wasn't observing her from afar – hence why he takes her to Philip and why he asks him if "someone put in a suppressor". Her suddenly deteriorated power makes him anxious for MC's future safety, and his fear has good reason – he is aware of the dangers posed to her by EVER.

He is also just simply desperate for her to regain her memories, which is also understandable. His pain and grief and frustration over his literal soulmate being unable to remember a single thing about him makes even more sense now after Death and Rebirth and the Timelock Key event. I'm ngl I wouldn't handle the same scenario well at all either, but would probably have a major crashout, especially if I'd done and been through all that Sylus has. In early LAR Sylus is basically a person who is desperately trying to remind a loved one (a literal chosen soulmate at that) with amnesia of their past and of themself. (An example of his trying to jog her memories is this part right here where he is recreating an environment mimicking the arena they fought in as kids).

To put it simply, Sylus isn't calm or rational or gentle because the situation he is in is deeply emotionally distressing and unexpected, and in his distraught state he is willing to cross lines he would not in normal situations. He loses himself, going as far as to override his core principle re: MC (her autonomy and consent). In this instance of raw hurt and desperation he thinks that the ends justify the means. This alone shows that he is not in a good or normal state of mind (and again why would he be?)

Now, that being said, does Sylus' emotional distress excuse his actions or make them justifiable? No. Because what he did in LAR simply isn't justifiable and isn't meant to be.

Like I've said before, you'll never catch me defending his actions or making excuses for them regardless of Sylus' reasonings. His behavior was wrong, and is portrayed as such by the narrative. We are meant to be uncomfortable and upset by those scenes. And we are meant to take MC's side and empathise with her as the victim of harsh and fucked up treatment, (while we can also with the context we now have also empathise with Sylus' emotional pain and anxiety – but we shouldn't excuse or justify him). Sylus himself realizes that he went way too far and obviously deeply regrets it – that's why his behavior changes notably afterwards. He is never again forceful or coercive with MC, but on the contrary always walks at her pace, and is twice shown to be prepared to let go of her. And I think his character is all the more beautiful for the fact that he is capable of learning from his mistakes and of bettering himself.

So in summary; Sylus behaving out of character in those early chapters makes perfect sense considering the circumstances and is imo an instance of good and realistic writing rather than bad or thoughtless. The writers were not in any way doing Sylus dirty, but were showing us a character that is flawed and emotionally hurting and capable of fucking up royally in certain situations, but who is also capable of real self reflection and of learning from his mistakes. The early chapters in LAR are integral to his character development, adding layers and depth and vulnerability to him and thus, ironically enough, make him more "human".

This is my perspective anyway, and I hope that it provided some food for thought ♡. I do want to say though that if you still feel the same re: Sylus' behavior, or if you have a completely different perspective from mine, that's ok and understandable. As always I am simply stating my own personal thoughts and interpretations, nothing more nothing less. Not trying to influence or change the way anyone thinks or feels or stating that my interpretation is the "correct" one. I am just working with the material we currently have and trying to piece the pieces together in the way that makes most sense to me, but which inevitably might not to others.

[spaceprincessleia]

Rebels with(out) a cause

Here are some points I want to talk about regarding Vel, Cinta and storytelling:

It’s Vel’s story, not Cinta’s (Intention)

Vel in season 1 – and Cinta

What kind of story did we get?

The mess (Outcome)

The impact of queerness and race on the story we got

The story we should have got (Fix)

My conclusion

Feel free to dive into 1269 words of analysis. Good luck if you do.

Disclaimer: This is just an opinion and doesn't consider every aspect ever. Also, I don't read (many) interviews with people involved in the show or listen to/watch analyses. I really just had an itch to write down my thoughts, and they turned into ... many thoughts.

Also, this is an analysis that points out storytelling flaws. I love Vel and Cinta deeply, their story overall makes much more sense than the parts that could/should have been better, and I'll forever be happy that we got these characters and their relationship.

It’s Vel’s story, not Cinta’s

Andor introduces us to characters at important moments in the rebellion. Backstories are often reduced to minimal context (except for Cassian’s, because he’s the main character).

One of these stories is about a “rich girl” who walks away from privilege and wealth to fight the Empire directly – unlike a politician working from within the Senate. That’s an angle we haven’t really seen before, and we explore it through Vel – why did someone with her background join the fight?

To tell that story, Tony Gilroy created Cinta as Vel’s narrative foil, aka a marginal role and not a fully independent character. So, she wasn’t written for more screen time or deeper development; we were never meant to learn how she joined the rebellion, where she came from, or how she and Vel met.* Also, Cinta’s angle isn’t one we haven’t seen before.

* If anything, we do know why Vel and Cinta are (were) in a relationship: to contrast the protagonist, Vel, to highlight her choices, conflicts and growth. That’s not the in-character explanation for their love that we want, of course, but a meta explanation – the relationship exists for the story’s structure, because that’s how Tony decided to tell it.

Vel in season 1 – and Cinta

In season 1, we see two sides of Vel: she’s trying to become a leader and find her place in the rebellion (emphasis on trying), and she’s in love with Cinta. She wants both, but clearly struggles to find balance. Cinta is the opposite: she knows exactly why she fights and puts the rebellion first.

After the Aldhani heist, Vel and Cinta are worlds apart, both literally and figuratively. Vel ends up on Coruscant, no longer looking like a ground soldier, while Cinta returns to her role on the frontlines. Their priorities contrast as well: Vel becomes more caught up in her emotions, while Cinta remains focused on the rebellion.

We learn a little bit more about Vel, too, through Mon, Cinta and Perrin (for example that she’s Mon Mothma’s cousin, that she comes from a life of wealth and privilege, and that she grew up in a conservative, possibly homophobic society).

By the end of season 1, the focus is very much on Vel and Cinta’s relationship, and not on just Vel and her “why.”

What kind of story did we get?

Instead, Vel’s relationship with Cinta became the main point of her character – and the exploration of her “why” disappeared. The story focused almost entirely on their dynamic, and as a result, Cinta evolved into more than “just” a narrative foil. She became a character, and the one with more narrative clarity.

Therefore, many of us expected to see both of them grow/change individually in season 2 as well as a conclusion to their relationship.

And we did get both in season 2: they changed, and they found balance. They could love each other and still work well as a team dedicated to a common cause.

So far, so good, right? *record scratch* Well ... no, actually.

The mess

There are three points here that add to the mess of Vel and Cinta’s arc, in my opinion:

Firstly, all of Vel and Cinta’s character growth happened off-screen during the time skips. There’s no build-up to the conclusion of their arc, it’s resolved in minimal screen time. Vel’s core motivation is still unknown and it can’t be explored through her relationship with Cinta, since Cinta is killed off in episode six. Wasn’t exploring Vel’s core motivation the whole point of her character though?

Secondly, If Cinta’s death was supposed to become Vel’s “why,” the missing part in her arc, then that doesn’t work. Vel isn’t a new recruit, motivation doesn’t come after you’ve already committed, and if Vel only really starts fighting because of Cinta’s death, it reduces everything Vel did before.

And thirdly, things get even more complicated when we address what we haven’t yet: Vel and Cinta are a queer love story, with Cinta portrayed by a queer woman of color. And all of this matters, whether it was intentional or not.

The impact of queerness and race on the story we got

Tony tells a story here that generally works regardless of gender, sexuality or race. There’s nothing wrong with creating a marginal role (like a narrative foil) and even killing them off to advance another character’s arc.

But stories don’t exist in a vacuum. Even if the focus isn’t on identity, they become part of the story, and should be considered within the story (the vacuum) as well as the context of the real world.

Andor touches on queerness beyond just the portrayal of a same-sex relationship: for example with the line “Everyone has their own rebellion,” delivered by a queer character from a conservative, possibly homophobic society.

While the line refers to people from different backgrounds who join the rebellion for different reasons, a queer audience will pick up on a more specific meaning in that context, too. Because to many, being queer is a “rebellion” against the norms of a heteronormative society.

Additionally, the marginal character whose primary role is to support the development of a protagonist is portrayed by a queer woman of color, and the protagonist is white.

Considering both of these aspects, Tony Gilroy tapped into a long, painful tradition in media: queer women of color are often sidelined, underdeveloped or killed off to serve the arcs of others.

The story we should have got

Now, could the pain over Cinta’s death have been avoided? No. It would always have hurt fans who were invested in her and Vel’s relationship. But could the mess around that pain have been avoided? Partially, yes. Better storytelling choices regarding both Vel and Cinta could have made it less frustrating. Still, with so much character development skipped over through time jumps, some level of dissatisfaction may have been inevitable.

For me, the best fix would have been to

stay true to the original narrative purpose of Vel’s character, and

show Vel and Cinta’s development on screen, over time, in season 2.

The reveal of “why” Vel chose to fight the Empire should have been the primary focus of her arc. We’re shown her commitment, but not the core reason behind it. And that’s not a small thing: Vel would feel much more complete as a character with a defined motivation.

That missing “why” could have been explored through her contrast with Cinta. Vel is portrayed as someone who chooses to join the fight. Cinta, meanwhile, had no choice: her life was destroyed by the Empire, her “why” is clear.

Vel and Cinta’s journey to find balance in their relationship is a story I love with all of my heart. It could have grown alongside Vel’s personal arc, not replace it, and it could have honored Cinta’s character with more narrative space.

Conclusion

There’s still much more that could be analyzed and debated – but the bottom line is:

In my opinion, Tony Gilroy lost sight of his original intention with Vel: exploring her perspective and the reasons she chose to join the fight against the Empire.

Additionally, his casting and writing choices needed to be handled with more awareness.

Because of this, Cinta deserved more screentime and narrative space in season 2, even if she was always intended to be a foil and her death planned from the start.

And due to the timing of Cinta’s death in the storyline, it could never have meaningfully served as Vel’s “why” anyway.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[lady-lilly-gray]

Will Elizabeth Midford Commit Suicide?

I think she might </3

Ever since I read the Emerald Witch arc (re: Chapter 105) I have wondered:

“Why bring up that Grim Reapers are humans who have committed suicide?”

Whilst it is an interesting bit of world building, everything Yana-san does is extremely intentional; so I don’t believe that such a big revelation was intended as nothing more than a throw away line.

Therefore, what is the reason for her telling us, the reader, this?

There are two reasons I can think of:

We will learn more about one (or more) of the Reaper’s suicides; OR

Someone will commit suicide, and she wants us to understand the repercussions of that in this universe.

For the first point, which reaper would we get that kind of information about?

I don’t think Yana-san would trust herself to write Grelle’s backstory, as it is more than likely linked to her gender identity.

William and Ronald have already been at the focus of arcs (Circus and Sanitorium) during which information regarding reasons/methods could have been shared or foreshadowed

Any background we do get on Othello will probably relate to his experience with Undertaker (re: after he became a Grim Reaper)

As for that point; Undertaker is the Reaper we are most likely to get a backstory on.

However most of what has been alluded to in his past has been confined to the 19th century: his desertion of the dispatch, the mourning lockets, his association with the Phantomhives. Therefore, I don’t foresee us learning about his suicide.

So that brings up the second point: Who is most likely to commit suicide?

Let’s look at some characters who have not been Doing Well when last we saw them:

Soma: I think it unlikely for Yana to kill him off after already killing off Agni. Also, since he is (at least currently) distanced from O!Ciel and the rest of the main cast, his death wouldn’t really have an impact on the narrative.

Finnian: After what happened with Doll and Snake, he may be questioning O!Ciel’s motives, but I think he intends to stay by O!Ciel’s side until the end. His flashback in the Emerald Witch Arc supports how much he values his new life.

Edward’s present conflict is mostly rooted in Lizzie’s reaction to R!Ciel’s return. He has shown to feel betrayed by O!Ciel for what happened with the Music Hall; but at least he has a support system (Cheslock, Clayton, and Harcourt are all in the same boat as him and can help each other cope with what happened).

To that point, how has Lizzie been doing? (not well)

Now, let’s look at her role in the story so far:

She is initially introduced as an overly-sweet annoying comic relief. However, the Campania arc proved this to be a façade she created for R!Ciel. At the end of the day, all she wants is to make Ciel happy.

But even before the Campania arc, there is a crucial point to her relationship with O!Ciel specifically—in the Circus arc.

“But Lilly! She’s barely even in that arc!” Yup! But she is in it—and not just in the “filler” chapter at the end. So why would our ever-intentional mangaka give her such a small role in the first arc to really kickstart the overarching plot?

Well, what is her role in this arc? She is at the Phantomhive manor when it is attacked.

When O!Ciel is informed that the circus troupe was sent to his manor, his first instinct is to be concerned for Lizzie’s safety, before ultimately entrusting the servants to protect her along with the rest of the house.

What does this mean? This means that, despite him being dismissive of her when she is first introduced, Ciel genuinely does care about her. Yes we obviously see him caring for her in the butler arcs, but this is mainly shown in ways that could be seen as having other motives, as him doing “what Ciel is expected to do.”

But in the circus arc, we simply get this reminder in O!Ciel’s mind; he is acting solely on his own subconscious. He is not trying to prove anything to anyone—these are his own genuine thoughts and concerns.

Now we can move on to the Luxury Liner arc, and what it means for Lizzie’s relationship to the twins, and to the Reapers.

That’s right, aside from O!Ciel, Lizzie is the only character we have seen have a brush with a working (i.e. not undercover) Grim Reaper and live.

Heck, Grelle was too stunned to react—it was Sebastian who stopped her (with one hand, but we’ll come back to why that’s relevant)

As for her character development in this arc, there are three scenes I’d like to look at:

The Battle in the Hold

“No matter what, I will protect you”

There is no one (sans Snake, who didn’t know R!Ciel) around to witness this, so it’s fair to say that this is O!Ciel’s own desire to protect her. He does genuinely care about her, regardless of how far those feelings go. (Yes, I’m an O!Cielizzie shipper, but that’s not the point of this theory)

The Watertight Doors

O!Ciel stays behind so as to not leave her alone. He recognises that he can’t pull her out without risking her safety, so he risks his own to stay with her.

(Yes, Sebastian can’t let him die, but he can still get badly hurt.)

I don’t love the scene of him (a CSA SURVIVOR) ripping Lizzie’s dress off, but it does give us an interesting image: Lizzie wearing his jacket for the rest of the arc. Even when she does eventually stand up and protect him, it is still his treatment/protection of her that is giving her strength to fight.

“Wife of the Queen’s Watchdog”

“She protects him; She’s so strong; She’s more than a satellite love interest; Yay!”

I won’t harp on the actual fight—ya know, the one we see from O!Ciel’s perspective!

He is shocked, he is safe. He is the younger brother, the one who grew up sick and weak, used to being protected by Ciel and the rest of his family. Now his fiancée (if in name only) has also come to his rescue, in spite of what he his brother told her in the past. Even though she doesn’t know it in the moment, O!Ciel is the first of the twins whom she feels comfortable revealing this “unladylike” side of herself to.

Because, more importantly, when she is showing this side of herself, she refers to herself as The Wife of the Queen’s Watchdog.

This phrasing interests me since R!Ciel has never officially held the position of Watchdog.

Additionally, so far as I can recall, Lizzie is not aware of O!Ciel being on the ship for Watchdog Reasons™—so why bring it up in the first place? To further intertwine her fate with O!Ciel’s (if you ask me).

Last we saw of Lizzie (7 YEARS AGO), she was on the verge of a breakdown for not being able to tell the twins apart. Specifically, she was evaluating how much of the love she felt for O!Ciel was due to him acting like his brother—and how much of her love was due to him acting like himself, like when she protected him on the Campania?

“Lilly, this is interesting and all, but the main focus of the story is O!Ciel and Sebastian’s contact! What does it matter which twin Lizzie is in love with?”

True: the main story is O!Ciel’s contract with Sebastian; and I think most of us believe it will end with O!Ciel’s death. So, is there anything holding him to life at present—once his revenge is enacted, that is?

Given the (all but confirmed) theory that the Phantomhive manor was attacked because of something relating to Vincent’s work for the Queen, I believe that:

The position of Watchdog must die with O!Ciel.

This will also directly counteract Undertaker’s intentions of protecting the Phantomhives, to the point of trying to revive them.

O!Ciel is slated to die per his contract, and R!Ciel is already dead, and will probably be killed once again. So that’s the end, right?

Wrong

O!Ciel is not the only living “spare heir” to the Phantomhive family: Frances Midford is.

Side note: she more than likely was at the very least consulted regarding this position when it was believed there were no survivors of the attack on the Manor. Remember, this was the same time when Lizzie fell into a depressive spiral.

And who is Frances’s heir? In peerage, Marquess outranks Earl, so Edward would not be demoted to Earl Phantomhive; which makes the next Phantomhive heir Elizabeth.

Now, if Lizzie were to die, Frances would not have an heir; and with no prospect of having any more children (not biologically impossible, but still unlikely at her age) would Victoria even bother bequeathing the role to her? Most likely not. (Even if she did, though, Frances is likely to outlive Victoria, who died in 1901.)

If Lizzie were to be killed, she would no longer be in the story; but if she killed herself we would see her again—as a Grim Reaper.

Yana-san loves her foreshadowing, so let’s look at chapter 117: Lizzie versus Sebastian

The first time they fight, it is with regards to R!Ciel. Could this be a set up for another fight between the two over O!Ciel? Oh, but if it is, Sebastian would not go easy on her.

He acknowledges that she is strong, but still no match for his demonic abilities. If she’s to stand a chance against his full demon capabilities, she’d need supernatural strength of her own…like that she would acquire as a reaper.

Additionally, this fight already shows Lizzie’s growth as a fighter. As I mentioned earlier, when she turns her sword on Grelle during the fight with the Bizarre Dolls, Sebastian stops her with one hand (two fingers, actually!) But when they fight at the Music Hall,  he needs two hands to stop her.

What will happen when next they meet? (I hope we find out soon!)

Whilst I can’t say with absolute certainty that this is the direction Yana-san intends to take the story/Lizzie’s character, I think it would be a fascinating narrative direction to take Lizzie’s character arc in.

And maybe, if Sebastian is taken down, but O!Ciel’s soul cannot be saved, Reaper!Lizzie can at least be the one to collect it, cradling him in his final moments as he drifts away from her forever…

To End on a Positive Note, here are some fun details that Reaper!Lizzie could entail:

She could kill Sebastian to save O!Ciel with an act of true love; and they get to be together. If the Grandpa Undertaker theory is true, Reaper!Lizzie x O!Ciel would be a fun parallel to Undertaker x Claudia, another Reaper x Watchdog pairing.

Pseudo-Crack Theory! Having Lizzie become a reaper, or even having her commit suicide after O!Ciel’s death, could open the doors for a spin-off series about the Grim Reaper Dispatch that opens with Lizzie’s death; and, through her eyes, we get a fun office comedy about the daily lives of the Eternally Damned <3

[moonlitdark]

Jamie Campbell Bower, left, and Louis McCartney on opening night of “Stranger Things: The First Shadow” on Broadway. (Jenny Anderson/Netflix)

By Thomas Floyd

Jamie Campbell Bower was smoking outside London’s Phoenix Theatre in late 2023, during intermission of the stage play “Stranger Things: The First Shadow,” when director Stephen Daldry spotted the English actor and made an unconventional ask: Could Bower — who was there as a uniquely invested theatergoer — step onstage during the curtain call and take a bow?

He reluctantly agreed. Yes, Bower originated the role of Vecna, the tentacled big bad introduced in Season 4 of Netflix’s “Stranger Things.” And yes, the 1959-set “First Shadow” tells the origin story of Henry Creel, the telekinesis-powered teen who becomes that murderous villain. But it was newcomer Louis McCartney who portrayed Henry in the play.

“I felt like such a jackass,” Bower, 36, recalls with a laugh. “I was trying to absorb the second act, all the time thinking: ‘I’ve got to go stand up there and take a bow for not really doing anything. This is insane.’”

It’s safe to say that McCartney, the Northern Irish actor now reprising the role on Broadway, disagreed.

“Everything I got from it was from you,” says McCartney, 21, during a recent video chat alongside Bower. “I don’t fangirl, but I do fangirl about you sometimes. Just taking a bow with you was something else.”

This month, McCartney earned a Tony nomination for his wrenching portrayal of the boy who becomes Vecna. To those who have seen “The First Shadow,” the nod was unsurprising: Although the play features younger versions of myriad fan-favorite “Stranger Things” characters (Joyce, Hopper and Dr. Brenner, to name a few), Henry’s tragic tale takes center stage as “The First Shadow” explores his fraught relationship with his parents, his outsider experience at Hawkins High and the haunting powers that seeded his sadistic ambitions. Contorting his body, voice and mind, McCartney loses himself eight times a week in Henry’s debilitating descent.

One person who can relate: Bower, who returns as Henry/Vecna in the fifth and final season of “Stranger Things” set to hit Netflix later this year. As Bower called in from Wales and McCartney spoke from New York, the actors opened up about their medium-transcending brotherhood, the toll of entering Vecna’s mind and how “The First Shadow” sets the stage for the “Stranger Things” endgame.

McCartney stars alongside T.R. Knight and Rosie Benton in “Stranger Things: The First Shadow.” (Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman)

(This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.)

Louis, how much did you try to channel Jamie’s performance versus making Henry your own?

McCartney: I didn’t want to be an imitation. When you take a job, it’s your role and you put yourself into it and you’ve got to bring personality and life and energy, or else it doesn’t work. But Jamie, I watched your scene with Millie [Bobby Brown] in the Rainbow Room where you explain your backstory, like, 30, 40 times — and you just nail that. You take such control. You’re so interesting to watch. You mean so much with your intent. Your words are weighted and they have a certain gravitas to them, but then you’re able to translate that perfectly into your eyes. That scene was the main influence for me.

Bower: Going and watching [the play] and watching you do it in this most beautiful way and seeing you bring yourself to it — as well as being able to say, “Oh my God, he’s watched the show and he’s bringing in other physical aspects [of my performance]” — it was so moving and so powerful and so beautiful. I just felt so proud of you, and I know that sounds really strange and kind of up my ass. But there was just this real sense of pride and love.

How do you think the play informs our understanding of Henry?

Bower: The relationship with anyone’s parental figure is so paramount to their character and who they end up becoming. We briefly touched on that [in Season 4], but to watch Louis do it with such sincerity and honesty, I took so many notes as I was watching it because I knew I was going into Season 5.

McCartney: When we’re translating the TV show to a play format, we run the risk of it being gimmicky, having a Demogorgon onstage and effects 24/7 and blood and gore. We do have that, but we just want you to feel for these characters, man. Henry is so malleable. He’s going through puberty and wants to have a girlfriend, and he’s really trying to do the right thing and to fit in. When you have power, you’re on such a razor-thin wire. We like to keep the audience questioning his morality.

Jamie Campbell Bower originated the role of Henry Creel in Season 4 of “Stranger Things.” (Netflix)

How would you describe the challenge of lending humanity to a character who does such awful things?

McCartney: If I’m just a villain in the play, then why are we doing the play? If he’s already there, then there’s nothing exciting, there’s no character building, there’s no arc. It’s giving enough so that it’s this muddy water where you know something’s wrong with him, but he seems to have hope — which is the conflict.

Bower: I have a question for you, Louis. There are these things that happen when you’re an actor that are really, really difficult to prepare for and to explain. All of a sudden something will be triggered in your own mind and there will be such truth in your heart. At a certain point, you just have to be prepared for the floodgate to open. I remember coming out of some of those scenes in Episode 7 [of Season 4] being like, “I need to sit down and have some air because there are things that I’ve just said that have stirred things up in me that have been dormant.” I wonder if you’ve had any moments like that as you’ve been going through this journey.

McCartney: It’s really interesting because it’s almost impossible to talk about. It’s the X-factor. It’s the magic. There are a couple scenes where you lose your mind a little and you scream and you do all that, and it’s extremely cathartic for me sometimes because I do lose myself in that. I hate to say this, but you’re better than me because you just have this ability to dip yourself into that pool. Not a toe — you put your full body into it, and I really admire that.

Jamie, what did you bring to the filming of Season 5 that may have been influenced by seeing “The First Shadow”?

Bower: I think one of the things that’s come up during work on Season 5, and watching the play as well, is this idea of safety. Where does this person feel safe enough to be themselves, and what does that look like? Doing Season 4 and going through the journey from human to monster, resentment becomes this vine that chokes the feeling of love. Ultimately, at the base of that is fear. In Season 5, there are certain things that happen where that idea of safety is so paramount.

McCartney plays the troubled teen who eventually becomes the “Stranger Things” villain Vecna. (Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman)

Playing Henry must be a uniquely challenging and isolating experience. How do you each handle spending so much time in that headspace?

McCartney: I like to say that I’m not affected, but my sleep and dreams are weirder. I’m a natural sleep talker and walker, and I’ve been having real f---ed-up moments of just sleeping and talking and walking. It’s stuff you can’t control, and sometimes your brain doesn’t know what’s happening to you. You have to take a second to step back and go, “Am I okay?” It’s important to always just check in with yourself.

Bower: As I ventured into this darker place, there were certain physical things that happened to me. For instance, I had an insect live in my body for about a week. I was renting a house in Atlanta and I had a stray black cat turn up, live with me for the entirety of [Season 4] production, and then the day I was leaving did not turn up. In Season 5: cats, birds and snakes. So you’re inviting certain things into your world, and the universe is definitely responding in a certain way when you’re in that space.

Do you two have any questions you want to ask each other?

McCartney: Jamie, I don’t know if you know this, but my mom is a holistic therapist, so I grew up a very universal kind of guy. Like, she talks to the dead and that’s her job. When I try to find the fun in the day-to-day, it’s entirely soul-based. I need something that keeps me going that is out of my control. Aside from the writing, what makes you keep going with the character? Where do you find your drive?

Bower: Fear [laughs]. Just abject fear. There was a well and a wealth of lived experience and of possible self-creation that, when this [role] came through, I wanted to explore and I felt like I needed to explore. That was a really, really, really powerful and sometimes difficult journey to go on. So I think what kept me going and what kept the drive alive was that exploration of self.

And Jamie, do you have anything else you wanted to ask Louis?

Bower: The character is so physically demanding. Every time I see Louis, he’s just getting more and more stacked and more and more ripped. It’s fabulous, and in all honesty, I’m a little bit jealous. But I’m going to be your mother: Are you getting enough sleep? Are you getting enough to eat?

McCartney: [Laughs] Yes, I am. I shall protect myself.

[thestoryteller-thedreamer]

The Lack of Lore in Dragons Rising

Warning:

This is a really long essay rant about Dragons Rising. You probably won't agree with all, or even most of what I have to say, and that is totally alright. This is just my take on Dragons Rising so far.

Also, I have not seen any of the new leaks for Season 3 Part 2. All of my issues could be resolved in those episodes for all I know. I do talk about things that happened in Part 1, so if you haven't watched Episodes 1-10 of season 3 and don't want them to be spoiled, maybe don't read this post.

Anyway, I've warned you. What you do next is your own decision.

Dragons Rising has introduced us to all of these interesting concepts in the past fifty episodes. The Forbidden Five, the Source Dragons, the wolf masks, the prismatic blades, shatter spin, rising dragon technique, the missing characters, and the freaking merge itself. All of them feel like they connect in very nuanced and intricate ways with the already established ninjago lore, but we are given none of their history, only the action scenes that utilize them. Which is starting to feel less like a mystery and more like an oversight. 

Let’s go back to Season 1 of the entire show. Right off the bat, we are introduced to the Serpentine. The main characters give us a bit of exposition in the form of bickering in the first episode, describing the Serpentine, their role in Ninjago history, and the mystery/ legends surrounding them. We continue to get a glimpse into the various Serpentine tribes, including their abilities, their power structure, their intertribal relations, and their desires within the first few episodes. By the midpoint of the season, Wu has revealed the backstory of the Great Devourer as well. And it doesn’t feel like too much exposition is going on. The season, for all of its other flaws, flows fairly smoothly and is full of action.

In Season 2, we meet the Overlord, and are immediately given his history with the First Spinjitzu Master. In Season 3, though not a lot of new lore is added, returning characters and the new technology of the Digiverse are both explained to some extent. Both seasons 4 and 5 handle the lore excellently, at least in my opinion. We are shown the histories of Garmadon and Wu, respectively, continuing to see glimpses of their troubled pasts as the season goes on, without feeling left in the dark for too long. Similar things can be said of most, if not all, of the other seasons. 

However, in Dragons Rising, we are given none of that. 

The characters claim to have a backstory (Egalt and Rontu say the Forbidden Five are an evil “unlike anything you’ve ever seen”) but what we are given is so lackluster that it feels forgettable. Part of what made the Forbidden Five so boring in Season 3 is how little we know about them. Most of our information comes from posts by the writers, not the actual show itself. Their powers are barely explained, the relationships between all of them other than Nokt and Rox (the two siblings) aren’t even present, and I have no idea why they want Thunderfang or what they plan to do to the merged lands. Conquer them? Destroy them? Declare the doughnuts must be eaten every third Tuesday of the month? I don’t know! Older villains, like Garmadon, Harumi, Morro, Chen, Aspheera, Kalmar, Unagami, and Nadakhan all had very clear, if also very misguided, goals. I don’t know what these new villains want! Gosh, I can’t even keep their names straight. They have really cool designs, but I get Zarkt and Drix confused all the time. 

Not to mention, the Forbidden Five were built up as the greatest evil in all the merged lands, only to be immediately defeated by Thunderfang. Creating an even more powerful villain for our heroes to face would work if the writers actually raised the stakes. As it is, these latest villains don’t feel anywhere near as threatening as those that actually came with a cost- Lloyd having to fight his dad, Zane dying to the Overlord, Nya merging with the sea to defeat Wojira, even all of the cubing that happened while in Prime Empire. Like the entirely evil Oni, they work really well as a background threat, but as soon as they appear in action, they are pretty underwhelming (and both the Oni and Thunderfang were defeated by a fancy Spinjitzu move). I think it would be more beneficial if the villains stopped threatening the entire world, and instead honed in on something more personal, such as hunting down one of the main ninja for revenge or something, or trying to steal their powers so everyone is “equal” (aka, Legends of Korra). 

Or the villain isn’t even a real villain, but they are trying to keep the ninja from something they want, like figuring out the secrets of the Merge, finding the truth about Wu, or recovering Jay’s memories. Lowering the world stakes and raising the personal stakes could actually be far more gripping than constantly raising the bar for who is the ultimate evil. 

Okay, so what about the Source Dragons? It feels like the writers go back and drastically change everything we already know about the First Spinjitzu Master and Firstborn. It gives me the same whiplash sensation I had finding out that Lloyd was part Oni and part Dragon. In hindsight, Lloyd’s heritage is an interesting concept. And so are the Source Dragons! But right now, it feels like my entire understanding of Ninjago history is falling apart at the seams. Not to mention, we don’t get a dramatic Mystake storytelling moment for the Source Dragons. We are told they exist and are super powerful and supposedly give everyone their elemental powers… but not much else. Where do they live? What makes them so powerful? Why did they decide to give powers to people like Cinder and Zeatrix? Why do the Source Dragons give evil people their elemental powers? How could they refuse to interfere with mortal affairs unless they are being threatened, especially since doling out powers that way could be the cause of some of Ninjago’s problems? 

Oh, and will the show ever care to discuss the Wolf Masks? How did Ras get his hands on them while he was busy in Imperium? At this point, it seems like he has a backup plan for a backup plan for a backup plan for a backup plan (Dragon Icons with Arin to make up for Nokt betraying him and using the elemental powers for himself to make up for the blood moon ritual not going as planned to make up for Beatrix not doing what he wanted to make up for his tribe kicking him out.) What is this guy’s deal? And how did he get an entire army of faceless, nameless soldiers to wear his masks and help him take down the world? In Season 4, at least Chen offered his followers the appeal of a snake cult on a tropical island. I’m seeing none of those benefits for Ras’s minions. 

And don’t get me started on the Prismatic Blades. What the heck are these things? They are made from “soul energy?” Has someone been harvesting souls to turn them into swords? Why does looking through them allow someone to see invisible demogorgon soul sucking spirits? How did Rapton, not to mention Dorama’s puppet, get his paint spattered pinchers on one of those things? What is up with the sword that shattered during the tournament? If these are the only things that can bust Thunderfang free, why weren’t they hidden better? Or if they were, how were they found? At least in S1, when the ninja were searching for the Fangblades, we were given a bit more explanation. We had a fancy map with their locations, a Clutch Powers bit where he “found” one and turned it into a trophy, a dramatic battle in an erupting volcano… Yes, they fight over the prismatic blades. But the fight locations don’t feel important the way they do in S1 of the original show. 

Ooh, and what about the missing characters? Crystallized ended with an absurd number of side characters all teaming up to help the ninja rebuild their monastery. At the start of Dragons Rising, they are not only gone, but forgotten. We’ve had a few beloved side characters make guest appearances- Dareth, Fugidove, some of the elemental masters at the Tournament of Sources… but the others haven’t even been mentioned. I think it would be ridiculous to try to fit everyone into the plot. This ensemble show has a cast swollen way past anything reasonable. But maybe give us a cameo of Harumi living her life, or Skylor running her noodle shop or Benthomar and Vania being the best king and queen one could hope for. Give us Garmadon and Vinny walking through the crossroads, and an angsty teen Unagami addicted to his phone, and Nelson jealously watching Arin fulfill his life dreams. It can take place in a quick fly by, where their relationship to the ninja isn’t explained, but older fans have a moment to freak out and scream at the top of their lungs when they see their babies for a few seconds. 

Now for the Merged Lands. Yes, this is a kid’s show. But I feel like after several years (which, btw, why are they so vague about the time span? They are always like, the merge happened “several years ago,” but never give us an exact date, and it drives me crazy!) the different combined realms would have formed some sort of political understanding. We are given no glimpse into how Ninjago decides to interact with Imperium, or the Cloud Kingdom, or the Wyldness. At the very least, I would have expected some reaction to Imperium declaring the ninja as enemies of the state from Ninjago. How dare the foreigners try to capture their beloved heroes?! Only the Ninjago City police and the *new ninja* are allowed to put them in jail! We have no interactions between them, or even reminders that old businesses and characters still exist. (NGTV news, the mayor, that police commissioner with the twitchy eye…) It feels like Ninjago’s culture has been erased, and none of the other merged lands have become prominent enough to replace it. The beautiful city that gets destroyed every other season and feels a little bit like home when I see it on screen isn’t relevant any more. 

The show really wants to have new lore. It hints that it is there, it tries to dump it on us in repeated blasts of the same boring exposition. But I honestly can’t see it. Or maybe I just can’t get excited about it because it doesn’t feel personal enough. Unlike the earlier seasons, where villains targeted the ninja specifically because of Wu and Garamdon’s past, or trying to steal their powers, the heroes are so detached from this current wave of baddies that it doesn’t seem to matter. Saving the world for the sake of saving the world is good and all. But you know what is great? Saving the world for the sake of saving your friend. Stopping the villain merely because they kidnapped someone you love or tried to steal your teammates powers or broke your brother’s heart or made your already elderly teacher even more old. 

The lore is connected to the world, not the characters. And if it doesn’t matter to the characters, then it really doesn’t matter to the audience. 

[rockrosethistle]

Workin Boys was literally the only thing that saved Hidgens from being flanderized beyond recognition

(Spoilers for Workin' Boys)

So what I think a lot of people don't give much thought to is how much Professor Hidgens as a character has evolved since tgwdlm, essentially becoming a parody of himself.

Think of Hidgens as a character. What are his defining traits?

Did you think about how he is a doomsday prepper who has been stockpiling supplies for 20 years? Because that's how he's introduced in Guy.

Did you try think about how he has a weird relationship with his Alexa? Or did we forget about that?

In fact, for the majority of TGWDLM, Hidgens' main character trait is that he says weird shit with a Doc Brown voice.

The whole concept of Workin Boys isn't even introduced until the last half hour of the show. That's where he reveals his real motivation: to live out the musical he wrote as a young man.

Actually, no, that's not right. Because his motivation was world peace, and Workin Boy's was just a convenient means to that end.

I won't disregard the fact that Hidgens clearly has an emotional connection to the show, but in Guy, it serves as a punchline rather than a driving force.

So now we have this lovely, morally-grey, multi-layered character that we can work with.

By the time we get to Time Bastard, the fandom is expecting a show stopping number reference, so of course we get that.

But at this point, Hidge is still that multi-layered character. Sure, showstopping number gets a callback, but we also get a callback to his strange relationship with robots. They make up an equal part of him as a character.

By the time we get to Honey Queen, we have lost several aspects of Hidgens altogether. He is no longer a doomsday-believing recluse. He is now active in the community and his only motivation is to get his show funded. He brings it up at every chance he gets, and his loyalties lie with whoever is more likely to make Workin Boys happen.

So how the hell do we come back from this?

Well, at first it seems like we're not going to. Workin' Boys (the short film) comes out, and it looks like we're leaning even harder into this aspect of his personality than before. But then we get hit with something we're not expecting: Hidge gets the Ted Spankoffski treatment.

I'm referring to Ted's backstory in Time Bastard, where we learn that all of his actions actually stem from a single, traumatic moment, which in his eyes forced him to alter his behaviour, so as to not go through the same trauma again.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

The backstory we get from Hidgens certainly puts things in perspective. No, it's not enough to explain why his behaviour has been so laser-focused on this one show, but it's a start.

Then comes the part that changes everything.

It's left up to interpretation whether these ghosts Hidge is seeing are actually there, or just hallucinations, but that doesn't really matter.

Hidgens had been through a horrible experience, so traumatizing that he is still literally being haunted by it decades later. For one reason or another, he believes that the only way he can relieve himself of these ghosts is by bringing honor to the loved ones he's lost and telling their stories.

This reveal recontextualizes everything we know about Hidgens as a character. Suddenly, this isn't a story about some guy who just really wants to put on his musical, this is a story about guilt. Of course it would be the driving factor in his life. Look at him apologizing to his boys. He feels like he is slandering their memories with everything that goes wrong for the show.

This is supported even more with the ending.

Henry Hidgens dies with a smile on his face, believing he's finally achieved his goal: to tell the real story of what happened that night.

It finally makes sense as to why we've lost those parts of him--we've retconned the character by revealing that all that simplification of his goals and traits wasn't flanderization at all, but a steady downward spiral of grief over his loved ones. It wasn't Hidgens getting a little too into being a playwrite, it was him descending into madness caused by the inability to please the part of himself (or the literal ghosts, if that's how you interpret it) that believes he's not doing enough.

And if not for Workin' Boys, he would have remained that one-dimensional character.

[novlr]

How do you introduce side characters naturally? I have a lot of important secondary characters in my story, but every time I try to bring them in, it feels like I’m just dumping information about them. Help!

We’ve all been there. You have this amazing cast of secondary characters in your head, each with their own rich backstories and interesting personalities. But when it comes to actually introducing them on the page, you find yourself wrestling with clunky paragraphs of exposition or, worse, those dreaded character introduction scenes where the story grinds to a halt while you explain who everyone is.

The good news is that there are ways to weave your side characters into your story naturally, making them feel like organic parts of your narrative rather than additions that need explanation. So, let’s explore how to make your secondary characters shine without overwhelming your readers with too much information at once.

Why side characters matter

Before we dive into techniques, let’s understand why it’s important to include side characters in your stories. They’re not just there to fill space or give your protagonist someone to talk to. Well-written side characters can:

Add depth and complexity to your story world.

Provide different perspectives on your story’s central conflict.

Create additional tension and conflict.

Offer opportunities for subplots and parallel storylines.

Help develop your main character through their interactions.

Make your fictional world feel lived-in and authentic.

Provide comic relief or emotional weight when needed.

Introduce them gradually

One of the most effective ways to introduce side characters is to treat them like real people your readers are getting to know. Think about how you meet people in real life. You don’t immediately learn their entire life story, family history, and deepest fears. Instead, you discover things about them gradually through:

Initial impressions.

Casual conversations.

Shared experiences.

Others’ reactions to them.

Their behaviour in different situations.

This same principle applies to your writing. Instead of frontloading all the information about a character, reveal details organically as they become relevant to the story.

Example of gradual introduction:

Too much at once: “Sarah was John’s sister-in-law, a brilliant neurosurgeon who had graduated top of her class at Harvard. She’d lost her husband two years ago in a car accident and now lived alone with her golden retriever, Charlie. She loved Thai food, hated mornings, and had a secret passion for reality TV shows.”

Gradual reveal: “Sarah arrived late to dinner, still wearing her surgical scrubs. She gave John a quick, one-armed hug before collapsing into the chair beside him. ‘If I never see another brain aneurysm again, it’ll be too soon.'”

The second version gives us just enough information to be intriguing, while leaving room for natural discovery of other details later.

Show, don’t tell (but tell when you need to)

While “show, don’t tell” is solid advice, the reality is that you’ll need both techniques. The key is knowing when to use each:

Show when:

Revealing personality traits.

Demonstrating relationships.

Illustrating emotional states.

Establishing dynamics between characters.

Tell when:

Providing necessary background information quickly.

Clarifying relationships that would be confusing to figure out.

Establishing basic facts that don’t need dramatic revelation.

Use dialogue effectively

Dialogue is one of your most powerful tools for introducing side characters naturally. Through conversations, you can reveal:

Character relationships:

“Hey, boss,” Maria said, dropping a stack of files on Derek’s desk. “The Thomson case came back from legal.”

This simple exchange establishes their professional relationship without explicitly stating it.

Personality:

“Well, if it isn’t Little Miss Perfect,” Jake drawled, not bothering to look up from his phone. “Come to tell me I’m doing everything wrong again?”

We immediately get a sense of Jake’s attitude and the dynamic between these characters.

Background:

“Remember that summer we spent at Gran’s beach house? Before everything went wrong?”

This kind of dialogue hints at shared history and potential conflict without dumping information.

Connect to the main plot

Side characters should serve a purpose in your story. When introducing them, consider:

How they affect your protagonist’s journey.

What role they play in the main conflict.

How they complicate or assist the plot.

What unique perspective they bring to the story.

Create meaningful subplots

Subplots are excellent vehicles for developing side characters without overshadowing your main story. A good subplot should:

Connect to the main plot in some way.

Have its own arc and resolution.

Reveal something about the side character.

Add depth to your story’s themes.

Create additional tension or complications.

Common pitfalls to avoid

The introduction lineup: Avoid scenes where characters are introduced one after another in quick succession.

The info dump dialogue: “As you know, Bob…” conversations where characters tell each other things they already know.

The character sheet: Listing physical descriptions and personality traits without context.

The irrelevant backstory: Including details about a character that never become relevant to the plot.

The forgotten character: Introducing someone as important and then having them disappear for long stretches.

Questions to ask yourself

When introducing a side character, ask yourself:

What does this character bring to the story?

What’s the most natural way for them to enter the scene?

What’s the minimum information readers need right now?

How can this character’s introduction move the plot forward?

What makes this character memorable or distinct?

Remember, your side characters are essential elements of your story’s ecosystem. By introducing them thoughtfully and developing them naturally, you create a richer, more engaging narrative that keeps readers invested in your entire cast of characters, not just your protagonist.

Trust your readers to piece things together gradually, and focus on making each character’s introduction serve your story’s larger purpose. With practice, you’ll find that introducing side characters becomes less about managing information and more about creating meaningful connections within your narrative.

[pixelsandpins]

Let's say you see the new Venom movie this weekend. Then you want to read the comics. Reading guides can be very overwhelming. So as a Venomaniac, let me give a broader approach discussing main storylines, what's worth your time, and where I think you should/could start.

80s-90s: Origin, First Villain Run, Transition to Hero

The Alien Suit Saga begins in Amazing Spider-Man #252 (1984) after Peter finds the goo in Secret Wars #8. Then more specific Eddie/Venom shenanigans start in 298-300. Venom's whole origin story can be found in a trade paperback (aka a TPB) called Spiderman: Birth of Venom which also includes issues from other series to fill out the story. Venom continues to be a villain in Spider-Man for awhile, so most of his story up through 1993 is found across Amazing Spider-Man and Web of Spider-Man. There're couple of collections that cover parts of this, but the most complete is Spider-Man Vs Venom. From this era you can also get the trade paperback called Carnage: Born in Blood which covers the arrival and birth of Carnage. A more in depth reading guide will give you these individual issues, and you can find them all in Marvel Unlimited or other online source.

(I'm having a hard time finding what I feel is the optimal link, but these have the information, at least).

Birth of Venom individual issues.

Birth of Carnage individual issues.

These are all very 80s and 90s comics, however, so they require a little bit of fortitude if you've never read comics before. This theme will continue up through Venom's solo work through the 90s.

Venom's solo stuff begins with Venom: Lethal Protector in 1993 (available as a TPB). This is the arc where Eddie moves from villain to hero. It also introduces the first symbiote spawn and a few other major lore elements.

Up through the rest of the decade there are A LOT of 3-4 issue mini-runs starting with Venom: Funeral Pyre. You can knock each of them out in an evening, and they provide some details about character and story. You absolutely don't have to read most. There are some key ones, though, where the lore carries through:

Venom: The Madness brings value not in lore, but in narrative. It shows the way Eddie and the other physiologically affect each other. It's also just really good.

Venom: Separation Anxiety separates Eddie and the symbiote, exploring the changes in their relationship and deals with more spawn. This one is a major influence on the first movie.

Carnage: Unleashed gives more development to Carnage and sets a story beat up for later.

Go back to Spider-Man for Planet of the Symbiotes. This expands on symbiote lore and is a key element of Eddie and the others relationship. You can read it as individual issues or as a TPB. This one has a major influence on Venom 1 and 3.

Venom: Sinner Takes All introduces She-Venom, traumatizes Anne, and sets some later lore hooks for story.

Venom: The Hunger expands on the brain eating/addiction and introduces the chocolate substitute. They also hold hands at the movies, and I think that's super important, personally.

Venom: Seed of Darkness is one of the lesser priority ones but does provide some interesting Eddie backstory.

Spider-Man: The Venom Agenda sets up some new story and lore beats for the Venom/Spider-Man relationship.

Venom: Finale the symbiote temporarily dies, and it sets up narrative for future comics.

If you've never read comics before, this whole era might be a difficult starting place. Mostly because the ethos of comics have changed, and it can be harder to connect with material from the 80s and 90s. It's not bad, it's just different. It's kind of essential narrative and lore establishment, however. So either accept the challenge or come back to it later and accept you'll have gaps in the lore. If you've read pre-2000s comics before, you'll be fine. Read from the beginning. It's a riot.

Venomnibus 1 and 2 covers this era. The first bout of Epic Collections also end here.

1999-2010

There's a bit of a tricky transition here over the change in millennia as Venom goes back to being a villain for a bit, joining the Sinister Six. Because of this most of the story moves back to Spider-Man. The problem is: there's major story shit introduced, and there isn't a collected edition that covers this era properly. You'll require a reading guide or accept the lore gap.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #9-10 covers the return of the symbiote to Eddie.

Amazing Spider-Man #19 features the death of Anne Weying, Eddie's ex-wife and, at one time, temporary host.

In 2003 they start expanding the Venom story again, in earnest, but he's still an antagonist. The first solo run here is Venom Vol 1 by Daniel Way. This is collected into 4-5 trades, also appears in Venomnibus 3, and consists of 4 arcs. This one never got narratively resolved, but Wolverine is there. So that's something. This is probably the most skippable of the "big series" however you could use this as a starting place. It's early enough that you won't be missing the second phase of lore, and it's a more "modern" story. However, it's not the strongest of the runs, so it might set the wrong expectations.

Spectacular Spider-Man: The Hunger adds an element of maliciousness to Venom's motivations. It's moderately essential narrative but very divisive.

Venom/Carnage is pretty good, introduces Toxin, and transitions us into the next narrative beat.

The Symbiote and Eddie Part Company, Scorpion!Venom Begins

Here is where Venom becomes a proper villain again, only...he's a protagonist? A PROTAGONIST VILLAIN, YOU SAY?

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #5-12 are often left off reading guides, but they transition the symbiote from Eddie to Angelo Fortunato to Mac Gargan.

Gargan, as Venom, then joins the Thunderbolts for a while. This is in Thunderbolts #110-127 and continues in Dark Avengers

Dark Reign: Sinister Spider-Man is the story of Mac Gargan fuckin' around as Venom/Dark Spider-Man.

I'm of the opinion you can pretty much skip the entire Gargan era, and you won't lose much going forward. But it's also...kind of a fun read? And it does expand on what the influence the symbiote has on their host looks like.

Venomnibus 3 also collects much of this, but not all. Marvel Knights, Thunderbolts, Dark Avengers, and Dark Reign are all available as TPS/Omnis

Also skip Venom: Dark Origin, for now. It sort of rewrites Eddie in a way that didn't really stick going forward.

Right at the end here, Carnage gets a few more series and Eddie as Anti-Venom is first introduced in Spider-Man. Anti-Venom barely shows up, at first, but he persists going forward. There's no dedicated collection to the era, but the primary comics are collected in Spider-Man: New Ways to Die, and Anti-Venom: New Ways to Live.

2010->today

Flash Thompson/Agent Venom Begins

Here, the government strips the other from Mac and gives it to military vet Flash Thompson

If you start here you're coming in right at the start of the next major phase of lore for Venom that covers all the Cool Space Shit. It's a fan favorite and an objectively well-written run, but it's also thematically and narratively a bit of a turn from all the others. It will also be a really really long time before you see Eddie as Venom. So just keep that in mind going forward.

After a bit of Spider-Man prologue, this kicks off properly in 2011 with Venom Vol 2 by Remender and Bunn. The Spider Island crossover as part of this run goes in tandem with Amazing Spider-Man. You can use a guide to sort these issues or get the TPB or Epic Collection that covers them.

Right in the middle of Venom Vol 2, Flash joins the Secret Avengers in issue #23. This is the sort of "official" intro of the Agent Venom iteration specifically. You'll also see this era tie in to the Minimum Carnage crossover. It's an okay read, but doesn't leave a lot of lasting impact on the story. You can skip it, for now.

Agent Venom also joins the Thunderbolts from issue #1-23 (Way and Soule). This is skippable.

Superior Spider-Man #22-25 is the pretty darn Superior Venom story and coves the gap between the end of the Agent Venom run and the beginning of the upcoming space-based stories. It's an an odd comic, though, in that very quickly changes the shape of Flash's relationship with the symbiote, but that relationship holds going forward.

Flash Goes to Space

His story continues in the Guardians of the Galaxy run from 2014, joining in issue #14. The most important part of his tenure with Guardians, however is issue #21-23. This is where we see the symbiote/Klyntar homeworld.

He rejoins the Guardians for 20 issues in the next run starting in 2015, but it's skippable.

These are both available as their own omnis or TPB collections.

Venom: Space Knight is sick as fuck and my favorite with Flash. A lot of good, juicy alien lore.

Eddie Becomes Venom, Again

Before Eddie goes back to his boyfriend, he spends some time as Toxin. The bulk of this is covered in the 2015 Carnage run by Conway.

Venom Vol 3 by Costa begins in 2016, and we see the transition from Flash to Lee Price briefly then finally back to Eddie. This is my personal favorite major run. It currently comes in 4 TPB. Starting here gives you street level Venom again but does drop you deep shit into the lore. You can one-hundred percent start here, though, extremely easily because they treat it as a soft reboot.

Within this run you'll see crossovers for Venom Inc. and Poison X. These expand on the overall story by introducing Mania and the Poisons, the latter of which are lead-ins for the first Venomverse comics. You can skip the Venomverse storylines, for now, but they are a lot of fun.

First Host is a really great mini-run in 2018 that talks about the true first host of the symbiote and introduces Sleeper. It's available as a TPB.

The Cates run (vol 4) (also has Bunn on it) begins in 2018, and it's very very good. It's where the character of Knull comes from, as featured in the new movie. A lot of people start here and have a good time. The way it's narratively constructed, it's beginner friendly, but you're sort of coming in at the end of Eddie's arc.

This also involves the Absolute Carnage and King in Black crossover events which are collected in a TPB/Omni.

This is also all collected in the recent Cates and Stegman Venomnibus.

The current Ewing run (vol 5) ends in November (cries), but you CANNOT START HERE. Without the previous Cates run, at minimum, the current run is missing vital story and lore information. You will be so lost, at first, that it simply won't be fun.

You'll note I've skipped a number of side runs including a few Carnage runs and Toxin. Slot them in if you want additional lore and story, but you can get by without them if it all becomes too much.

The lore drops that appear in Spider-Man in between solo runs might seize you up for a moment, but when necessary, the solo comics will catch you up as needed.

The past five years have also seen a handful of retro-runs that go back in time to tell stories from Eddie's early time with Venom. You could slot them in with the other 90s mini-runs, but I think they're more fun after you've been reading for awhile.

A new run is starting in December called All New Venom where Eddie will no longer be the host. Who will? We don't know! The way it's being advertised, I'm going to make a guess it ends up being a passable starting point for new readers. I'll know when I get my issue #1.

[bekkachaos]

*buddie rant incoming*

The thing is right, so many shows have found it hard to introduce love interests for established characters when those love interests haven't been part of the show previously or for a decent amount of time before becoming the LI. Especially on long-running shows (I'm talking five plus seasons). Because the established characters are so fleshed out and have so many facets to them, introducing new love interests out of nowhere that have no history in the show seems out of place. That's why Tommy worked better than most of the other love interests they've tried to bring in for Buck or Eddie, because at least he had roots in the show prior to being considered as a LI.

All of the other characters have had the same love interest either from the pilot (Hen and Karen) Or are established by season 2 with another main (Bobby and Athena & Chimney and Maddie). Eddie and Maddie might not have been in the first season, but they were introduced early enough as main characters and given the kind of story progression and character development that they needed outside of being there only to progress the story of another character.

Now you might throw out the old "it worked in shows like Grey's Anatomy" and yeah, you'd be right, but in shows like Grey's there were multiple lead characters who were single and dating as well as more established couples or 'will-they-wont-theys'. In 911 the only lead characters who are single and haven't been romantically tied to one other character for the duration of their run or multiple seasons, are Buck and Eddie.

Out of all Buck's love interests, Taylor had previously been given the most backstory, but it always felt like we weren't supposed to be invested in them because it was made to seem like she was always going to put her job over Buck and that he had more trust and stability in his friendships (with Eddie especially). In season 1, Abby wasn't a love interest for Buck. It was the other way around because she was the main character, he was the one serving a purpose for her before she left and then her leaving was a catalyst for him. Ali, we barely got anything for, never really learnt much about her, she was an empty love interest much the same as Marisol was for Eddie. Because the thing in common with both of those is that we see the very early hints of dating and then the next time you see those characters they are in established relationships, we've got to see none of the getting to know each other phase, never get attached to the LI. Our main characters have gotten to do that behind the scenes but the audience doesn't get to engage so we don't really care about them. I'm not even going to start on Shannon, that's a whole other post on its own.

Another big problem is that because Buck and Eddie haven't had stable love interests with longevity, their friendship and partnership has been parallelled to the other main characters and their relationships (all of which being romantic pairings). We see that they can form deep and meaningful relationships because they have that with one another, but no other relationships they've been in that we've seen has had the same kind of unconditional "I'm there for you no matter what and I know you're there for me even when I'm wrong" kind of feeling. They've all been rushed or superficial.

Basically, trying to introduce someone for either of them now is going to feel so shallow and out of place compared to the other relationships in the show and compared to what they both deserve in terms of love and a partner.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.