#I used brook for another one so now I feel kinda like I’m cheating even though this game has no rules | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mariaiscrafting · 3 years ago

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You know, what think I like when you are critical of a content creator is that you know how to separate a fact from especulation, unlike a blog out there that took especulation as facts.

Example, that night when we were critical of Karl, or any instance you have discussed about him, a lot of anons were saying that he gave them clout chaser vibes to them, and despite your opinion, you expressed that those were only especulation and not the truth, and to keep that in mind. That's good critical thinking.

But this blog had some similar anons, saying that he only is friends with the Feral Boys gro clout- In fact, they said the Feral Boys were only in it to benefit from clout and money. And they took it as a truth. I know you instance on them is neutral, but come one, they are friends. All of them. Karl isn't friends with them for clout. Like today Karl was playing golf with salad gang plus Sapnap and George at first and then Quackity and Dream joined bc they had spared time and it all devolved into typical chaos (Poor Corpse and Tina and Brook, had to endure those children lol/lh /j). Like, the stream wasn't planned with the 5/5 yet they joined, missing Karl and just having fun.

Idk, I guess that blog's superiority (They were a SBI focused blog) just irritated me. It's as if they were putting both groups at each other as if those streamers aren't friends or close. They were singing prayers of one while shunning the other based from especulation. Criticissism is fine, in fact recommended to be critical of your interests, but taking rumors as facts to base your crit is yikes. It's as if I wanted to crit SBI and base it only of "Philza hanging only with people younger than him is kinda weird ngl.." or "Sbi doesn't care about Tommy cuz he joined late" like that dumb Tumblr post did or some fuckers in Twitter imply.

The main reason I take so much care to separate speculation from evidence-backed theories and confirmed truths is because I feel like that separation is what distinguishes us from mcyttwt the most. One of the main reasons for mcyttwt's toxicity, imo - for its relentless cancelling of everyone, for its bandwagon campaigns - is that people oftentimes criticize and defend based on their personal feelings rather than rationale or evidence.

For example, I complain a lot about Dream stans on here, but you know the reason I didn't stop watching Dream directly after the cheating scandal broke loose, even though I thought he cheated? Because of mcytblr Dream stans. Mcytblr Dream stans engaged with me in discussion, both publicly and in DMs, about the cheating scandal, and even those who eventually came to the conclusion that Dream didn't cheat accepted the facts and statistics they were given and kept a healthy skepticism throughout the process. On Twitter, Dream stans were defending him before he even made a video following up to the mods' initial accusations because they felt that Dream wasn't the kind of guy to lie or cheat. They were replying to screenshots of statistical analyses from subreddits and to articles from mathematicians and staticians with extremely reactionary responses because of that feeling, which they believed in so adamantly, they had accepted it as fact. The thing is, to believe that Dream didn't cheat in the face of all the statistical and rhetorical evidence to the contrary is, in itself, speculative. Usually we think of speculation as a baseless theory that something is a positive truth- that is to say, that something did happen. But speculation also applies to those theories of someone not having done something, when the opposite has been nearly proven to be true.

For this same reason, I chose not to ignore the anti-technotwt threads with screenshots of Techno's old tweets in them. For me to have simply ignored these screenshots and continued supposing that Techno never expressed bigoted beliefs and/or currently doesn't would have been speculative on my part, and to boot, blatantly wrong, given the evidence to the contrary.

People in this fandom, and in all RPF/RPF-adjacent fandoms need to understand that almost everything they believe about the CCs they watch is speculative, at least to some extent, because of the nature of the content they make. Even if someone, in your opinion, displays evidence of some aspect of their personality - whether that be some form of bigoted, sweet, rude, clout-chasing, or anything else - because of the extremely one-sided nature of sharing one's life through a screen, that theory of ours will almost alwyas only ever be speculation, not a solid conclusion that can be drawn. We will never know these people's true intentions behind something shared to us via the Internet.

That vagueness leads to virtually every viewer creating a different theory in our heads about the CCs we watch, and we can't treat those theories as facts, especially not when sharing them with the rest of a fandom. I'm not a very big blog, but I consider even over 50 followers to be way too many people to spread a theory too, without at least clarifying that what I'm posting is speculation. If I have evidence, I like to list it or, if I can, provide sources; but otherwise, I take care to qualify most things with phrases or disclaimers that will clue followers into the speculative nature of whatever it is I'm saying. This is because theories and "feelings" can blaze through a fandom like wildfire, especially somewhere like Twitter, where so many things are word-of-mouth or based on summary due to character limitation.

You know why mcyttwt was cancelling Andi? Only a handful of original Tweeters under the cancel Andi hashtags actually knew what clips or tweets to criticize her for, or tried to elaborate on that criticism. But because every other mcyttwt user was getting bombarded by their mutuals hate-posting about Andi on their TLs, the "negative feeling" towards Andi grew and grew, even if most people didn't even know what they were supposed to feel negative about, exactly. Our judgement works on a quick trigger on the Internet because of the amount of information we're receiving, and so, even a single bad word against someone you don't have too strong of an opinion on can fundamentally alter your perception of them, usually subconsciously. If the first thing you see about Andi, who you've only seen on a couple LOH's or a couple Punz streams before then, is a tweet along the lines of, "disappointed in Andi for her homophobia and joking about suicide," despite you having no context, you will most likely be pushed to the negative side of her. Thus begins the cycle of hatred, building up and up, leading to you searching for more and more criticism about Andi, whether speculative or not, until you solidly and genuinely believe she is a Horrible Person. It all starts with the vaguest fucking feeling, because that's all speculation has to go off of, and it snowballs into a fucking wildfire across an entire fandom. I'm not about to be another person to let feelings snowball and spread like that.

Now, I don't know what exact blog you're referring to, but as an adamant SBI enthusiast, let me flip the argument many SBI stans have for their speculation upon the genuity of Karl's friendship with the Feral Bois, onto SBI. What do we have to go off of for the genuity of SBI's friendship, anyways? Our perceived brother dynamic between Tommy and Wilbur could very well just be Tommy capitalizing on Wilbur's brand and continuing the charade until now because it's been profitable. Maybe Techno only continues to associate with SBI because he knows how much his fanbase likes headcanon'ing about SBI, so he puts up with streams with them so he can continue to feed his fanbase with dynamics he knows they're obsessed with. Maybe Phil would rather play MC with people his age, and actually dislikes that he's friends with a teenager, but sticks around because he profitted so much off of Dream SMP and SBI-related content. And what could any SBI stan have to argue with me on any of these theories? Just because SBI laughs around each other and seems fond of each other doesn't mean they're actually like that behind the cameras. They so seldomly stream or make videos together anymore, anyways, so maybe they've grown tired of keeping up the dynamic.

Everything I said could be interpreted as utter bullshit, and that's because it fucking is. I don't actually know what Techno wants to do with his life, or how Wilbur and Tommy actually feel about each other, or who Phil wants to fucking befriend. The same goes for Feral Boys. There's nothing wrong with stating your theories or speculation, but to treat them as fact or not at least qualify such posts with the fact that this is all based on your bias and opinion, and no substantive evidence, is irresponsible. Just because you feel like one or more of the Feral Boys is "clout-chasing" doesn't mean you have the right to tout that feeling as truth. I feel a lot of things about a lot of CCs, both negative and positive, but no matter how strong my feelings, unless they have substantive evidence backing them up, I have no right to treat them as facts with my followers.

#anyways this kinda went everywhere but oh well #discourse #fandom critical #karl jacobs #feral boys #mcyt #asks #uhhh yeah this isnt neg to any cc just to the way fandom will treat them

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madpanda75 · 5 years ago

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“Taking Chances Part Three: Suspicions”

Finally posting Part Three! Sonny and the rest of the squad get suspicious about what’s going on with Rafael 👀 Check out the other chapters on my Masterlist. Part 4 will be posted this week! ❤️

You and Rafael had been together for one month. One exhilarating month. Neither of you expected to move so fast given your past romances. You had been left broken-hearted by your cheating ex-fiancé. For Rafael, it had been years since he had been in a relationship. He was once in love with his first serious girlfriend, Yelina, until she dumped him for his childhood best friend, Alex Muñoz. There were one or two girlfriends after that, but for the most part, Rafael buried himself in his work.

This time around was different. There was an undeniable connection between you both. An initial spark that quickly unfurled into an intense passion, made increasingly evident by the dirty looks your neighbors would give you the morning after Rafael spent the night. It felt as if you had been together forever.

Luckily for your neighbors, the majority of your evenings were spent at Rafael’s. Not only were his walls thicker, but his place was halfway between the precinct and the gallery, making it convenient for both of you.

One cold February morning you sat at Rafael’s kitchen counter, leisurely sipping a cup of coffee, sketching in your notebook while he got ready for the office. It was routine by this point. He padded into the kitchen, barefoot and half-dressed, wearing only his pants and an undershirt, his suspenders hanging loose at his sides.

You handed him a cup of coffee, not even bothering to glance up from your drawing. “Never would’ve taken you for a white chocolate macadamia nut fan,” you casually said.

Rafael nearly choked on his drink, instantly recognizing the flavored creamer hit his tongue. “Found it in the back of your fridge, hidden behind a bag of salad that looks like its been there since you moved into this apartment. I had no idea you were an International Delight kinda guy,” you teased, hooking your finger under his belt loop, tugging him towards you.

Rafael chuckled and took another long sip of his coffee. “What can I say, I’m full of surprises.” Leaning forward, he gave you a peck on the lips before glancing down at his watch. “I better get dressed. I’m running late.” He set his cup down, furrowing his brow as he took in your state of dress. “Is that the shirt I laid out last night? And my socks?”

You sheepishly smiled at him, fiddling with the hem of his light blue pinstripe shirt, your toes curling in his butter yellow socks. “What can I say? I like wearing your clothes. They inspire me,” you said with a shrug and handed over your sketchbook full of doodles. Well, to you they were doodles. To Rafael, they were works of art.

“While I’m thrilled that my Brooks Brothers apparel is your muse. May I please have my clothes back?” He placed the sketchbook back on the counter and checked his phone, expecting you to go into the bedroom to change—but you had other plans. With a smirk, you slowly began to unbutton the shirt, sliding it off your shoulders, revealing your naked body.

Rafael abruptly halted his text to Liv at the sight of your supple form. Licking his lips, he drank you in from head to toe while blindly trying to set his phone back down on the counter.

“What?” You feigned innocence and batted your lashes at him. “You wanted your clothes back, didn’t you?”

Rafael’s eyes darkened. “You now better than to tease Papi like that.”

You took a step closer and ran your hands up his arms, gently squeezing his biceps, your lips grazing along his neck. The smell of his cologne enveloped you, invigorating your senses. “Hmmm, you gonna punish me?” You purred in his ear.

Rafael let out a shaky breath. In an instant, he had hoisted you over his shoulder causing you to squeal in surprise. With a teasing slap to your ass, he turned around and headed straight towards the bedroom.

*****

Olivia walked out of her office to find her squad at one of the large conference tables in the bullpen, waiting to discuss a recent case SVU caught where a high school senior, Elena Reyes, was raped in her hotel room during a weekend field trip to New York.

“Where’s Barba?” Fin asked when he saw his lieutenant.

Olivia sighed and took off her glasses. “Texted me this morning and said he was running late again.”

Fin leaned back in his chair, his curiosity piqued. “That’s the sixth time this month. Wonder what’s going on?”

“Maybe he has a girlfriend,” Sonny chimed in while trying to balance a pencil on his nose.

Fin laughed. “Barba!? You gotta be kidding me! That man is married to his job. My Grandpa Iggy probably gets more action than him at the nursing home.”

Stranger things have happened,” Amanda said with her head down as she folded a piece of paper into a small paper football. “The man is wound tighter than a tourniquet. A girlfriend would be good for him.” Amanda took her paper football and aimed it towards Fin, who held up his fingers to resemble goal posts. She flicked it across the table, the football flying right between Fin’s waiting hands.

“Touchdown!” Fin exclaimed.

Olivia sighed. “Seriously, guys. Don’t we have anything better to do while we wait for Bar—”

“Sorry I’m late,” Rafael announced, bursting into the precinct.

The lieutenant’s eyes widened slightly, noticing his flustered appearance. A stark contrast to the razor-sharp, collected ADA she was used to working with. “Nice of you to join us,” she quipped.

“Yeah, traffic was a nightmare coming down Lafayette.” Rafael lied. He shrugged off his coat and set his briefcase down, making a beeline to the snacks set up next to the coffee pot. Your unexpected morning sexscapade had left him starving. He grabbed a handful of pretzel sticks and poured himself another cup of coffee before sitting down at the conference table. “So what do we have on the Elena Reyes case?” He asked, popping a few pretzels in his mouth.

Amanda cleared her throat. “You know, counselor, before we begin. I couldn’t help but notice how late you’ve been recently,” she said with a glint in her eye.

“Excuse me?” Rafael arched a brow at the young blonde detective.

Sonny crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side, looking Rafael over. “Yeah, your shirt’s a little rumpled. Hair isn’t as coiffed as it normally is and—“ he leaned closer to Rafael and sniffed—“Do I smell perfume on your clothes?”

Rafael scowled and scooted his chair away from Sonny. “Is there a point to this line of questioning?”

“Yeah, you got a little honey on the side?” Fin added.

Rafael scoffed. “I beg your pardon?”

“Hey, we’re not judging,” Sonny said with his hands raised in the air as if he was surrendering. “After all you’re human. Everyone needs to get—”

Rafael interrupted, “Please for the love of God do not finish that sentence.” Feeling an onslaught of a migraine begin to set in, he closed his eyes and massaged his temples. Pushing thoughts of the lovely morning he had with you aside, Rafael switched gears. He opened his eyes and glared at everyone around the table. “I’m thrilled that my personal life is such an amusement to you all. But if you don’t mind, may we please get back to the Reyes case.”

“Barba’s right,” Olivia said. “Let’s get back to work. Fin, Rollins, you went to the hotel this morning. What did you get?”

Fin and Amanda debriefed everyone on what they found in Elena Reyes’s hotel room. Throwing a wrench in the case, the perp wore a condom and the hotel security cameras had been broken for months, but the squad was able to pinpoint at least three potential suspects.

As the discussion continued, Oliva couldn’t help but occasionally glance over at Rafael. Working in SVU for nearly twenty years had made her an expert at reading faces and Rafael’s face was a tell. His stare may have been icy but the slight blush of his cheeks; the way he averted his eyes—she knew he was hiding something.

Rafael stood up from the table and made his way over to the white board. The smug faces of the high school seniors stared back at him. “There’s still not enough physical evidence. No judge is going to sign off on a warrant for DNA swabs of a bunch of broskis. No matter how you spin it. Keep digging,” he said, grabbing his jacket and briefcase, abruptly leaving the bullpen. He hadn’t been able to stop by his office that morning, having gone straight from his apartment to the precinct and there was a mountain of paperwork waiting on his desk.

While waiting by the elevator doors, Rafael put his hand in his coat pocket, knitting his eyebrows when he felt a crinkle of paper. He pulled out a post-it with a small doodle. The doodle was of him asleep in bed—his hair sticking out at all ends; his face relaxed and content. You must have drawn it that morning.

He flipped the post-it over and saw a note in your hurried handwriting.

Check your other pocket.

Following your instructions, he reached into his other pocket and pulled out a small handful of black lace and silk, instantly recognizing them as your panties. He stuffed the skimpy lingerie back in his pocket, looking around to make sure no one had seen.

“Saucy minx,” he muttered to himself, unable to conceal the smile on his face as flashbacks came rushing back of your legs wrapped around his waist, moaning things in his ear—so dirty they would make a pornstar blush. What he wouldn’t give to be back in bed with you.

“Counselor,” Sonny called out, running over to Rafael. “Ya’ forgot this.” He handed him a file with several of the witness statements.

“Oh...thanks, Carisi.” Rafael tucked the file into his briefcase.

Rather than go back into the bullpen, Sonny stood there, rocking back on his heels. “Hey, Barba. About earlier, ya’ know we were just playin’. If you did find someone, I’m happy for ya’. She must be a pretty special person.”

Rafael gave Sonny a tight-lipped smile, gripping the panties in his pocket so tight, his nails dug into the meaty part of his palm. The elevator finally dinged, announcing its arrival. “Saved by the bell,” Rafael thought as he practically ran inside, frantically pushing the button to the lower level.

As soon as the doors closed, Rafael rested his head back against the wall, his whole body sighing in relief. He couldn’t help but feel guilty, sneaking around and dating you right behind Sonny’s back. Carisi may have been as annoying as a puppy yipping at your heels, but he was a good detective and would someday make a great lawyer. How would he feel knowing that the reason for Rafael’s recent tardiness was because of you. The perfume on his clothes and the panties in his pocket were yours. Sooner or later, you would have to break the news to Sonny. Rafael could only hope that he would take the news well.

*****

The texture of the polenta was perfect. The veal shanks were braising beautifully. It was the perfect evening in—all that was missing was your boyfriend. You invited Rafael over for dinner and a movie, knowing he had had a stressful week with the Elena Reyes case and that his fridge only contained a sad bag of salad and fancy coffee creamer.

Of course when you planned your romantic night in, you didn’t factor on a freak snowstorm. Taking a quick peek out the window, you were surprised at how fast the snow was beginning to accumulate. It was coming down in droves. “Guess this adds to the ambience,” you mumbled to yourself.

A familiar buzz pulled you away from the scenic view outside. You checked your phone, expecting it to be Rafael, but instead saw your brother had texted.

Hey, we’re supposed to get a blizzard tonight. Want me to come over? We can make pizza, watch a movie? It’ll be just like old times.

You smiled, remembering back to when you were kids and quickly sent your brother a reply.

I’d love that but I have other plans tonight. Rain check?

Although there was a big age gap between you and Sonny, whenever school was cancelled on account of snow, he would ditch his high school friends and spend the day with you instead. You would spend hours playing outside—sledding, and throwing snowballs. When it got too cold, he would bribe you into the house with countless games of Mousetrap and watch any Disney movie you wanted until you passed out on the couch.

You both were inseparable. Even now as adults, you would hang out at least once a week. Lately, between your job and Rafael, you barely had time to spend with Sonny. You knew he would begin to grow suspicious. The detective in him would be snooping around and asking questions as to why you were suddenly unavailable.

Your phone pinged again.

Yeah. I just never see you anymore. I miss you, kiddo. Everything ok?

You were just about to text your typical response that everything was fine when there was a knock at the door. Abandoning your phone on the kitchen island, you ran to the foyer and opened the door, busting out laughing the moment you saw Rafael.

He was completely covered, vaguely resembling the Michelin Man, wearing a thermal hat, wool scarf, and a puffy Canadian Goose jacket. You wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for the striking seafoam green eyes peeking out from under the layers of clothes.

“Oh my God! Did you walk here?” you asked, wiping the snow off his jacket and scarf.

“The roads were so bad my Uber had to drop me off at the street corner.” He shed his outerwear and hung them up on your coat rack, finally resembling a human being and not a Yeti from the Himalayas. “It’s really coming down out there. I can’t believe we’re getting a snowstorm in March.”

“That’s global warming for ya’,” you teased, the tiniest hint of your Staten Island accent coming through. Cupping his face, you kissed his frozen pink cheeks, trying to bring some warmth back into his body.

“I brought some wine.” Rafael handed you a bottle of Brunello.

“This is perfect. It’ll pair nicely with the osso buco which I need to check on. Why don’t you open it and let it breathe for a bit while I finish dinner,” you called out over your shoulder while running back into the kitchen.

Rafael followed you inside, a mouth-watering smell wafting through the apartment. Your home was a stark contrast to his. It was cluttered but cozy. Organized chaos, you affectionately called it. Filled with mismatched furniture handed down by your family. Books and photographs of you and the rest of the Carisi clan littered the end tables. The walls were covered in your artwork. There was one piece in particular where you had painted a woman’s arm with a rose tattoo on her bicep holding a hammer, underneath was the phrase, “Smash the Patriarchy.”

He opened the bottle of wine, watching as you stirred a simmering pot on the stove, humming a Dean Martin song to yourself. You were casual and content, dressed in grey leggings, an oversized soft pink v-neck sweater, and thick wool socks. Your hair was up in a messy bun, a few loose tendrils framing your face. The sweater slid down, revealing your right shoulder. It was sexy and alluring, the subtle hint of skin just begging to be caressed.

Unable to resist, he wrapped his arms around your waist and left a trail of soft open-mouthed kisses up the curve of your neck. “Mmm delicious,” he purred.

Your eyes slipped closed as you reached back and ran your fingers through his hair. “Instead of tasting me, why don’t you try this sauce?”

“Who says I can’t do both.” He licked the sensitive spot beneath your ear.

A whimper escaped your lips. “You’re distracting me, Mr. Barba.” You dipped a spoon in the pot and turned to face Rafael, blowing on the hot liquid before holding it up to his lips.

He took a taste, moaning obscenely. “Ay Dios Mio, that is incredible.”

You beamed with pride but tried to brush off his compliment. “This is nothing. Wait till you try my homemade pasta.”

“I’m gonna have to buy bigger clothes if you keep feeding me like this.” He pushed you up against the counter and kissed you hard. You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, massaging his tongue with your own. All thoughts of dinner were quickly forgotten. You were suddenly hungry for something else or someone else. His hands reached under your sweater when he glanced behind your shoulder and spied a photo of a certain blue-eyed detective on your fridge. Rafael froze and instantly pulled away.

“What’s the matter?” You panted, turning your head and following his gaze to the photo. “That was taken at my sister’s wedding in Montauk. I looked awful. I mean, I love my sister but she picked the ugliest bridesmaid dresses. I had so much hairspray in my hair that night, I couldn’t stand near an open flame.”

Rafael reached behind you and took the photo in his hand. You were right. The dress was hideous, a turquoise taffeta nightmare, but it wasn’t the dress that caught his attention. What first struck Rafael was how happy you looked with your big brother, smiling and hamming it up for the camera. It was obvious how close you both were.

Rafael felt a pang of jealousy. Growing up as an only child, life could be lonely. He would secretly wish for a little brother or sister so he could have someone to play with. Now looking back, he was grateful that it was only him. Having to endure his father’s abuse was bad enough, he couldn’t bear the thought of a sibling suffering alongside him.

Staring at the photo of your brother brought back that gnawing guilty feeling he had experienced earlier that week in the elevator. “When are we gonna tell him?”

“Soon,” you sighed and turned back to the stove, adding the gremolata to your sauce. “I’ve just been busy”

“Busy? I think you’re stalling.”

“It’s just…it’s complicated.” You gently pushed Rafael out of the way to reach a platter from the cupboard.

A sinking feeling began to form in the pit of his stomach. “You’re not ashamed of me, are you?” He quietly asked.

Hearing the pain in his voice, you immediately stopped plating the veal shanks and turned towards him “No! I could never be ashamed of you.” You vehemently shook your head and brought his hand up to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “It’s me. Sonny’s never been easy when it comes to my boyfriends. Not even Theo, my ex, and he was our next door neighbor. You and Sonny work together. I’m just afraid it’ll complicate things. That I’ll complicate things and—” Then you’ll break up with me. You didn’t say it but the words hung heavy in the air.

Rafael cupped your face and softly stroked your cheek with his thumb, finding himself lost in your hypnotic eyes. “You’re Carisi’s sister. This was always going to be complicated. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth. You’re worth it,” he whispered.

“Ok, we’ll tell him this week. I promise.” With a disarming smile, you held out your pinky to him. Rafael snorted a laugh but locked his pinky with yours. “Now that we’ve got that sorted. Why don’t you pick out a movie while I finish with dinner.” You playfully smacked his ass as he walked out of the kitchen.

While you were pouring the sauce over the meat, you heard Rafael call out from the other room. “Hey, what’s this?”

Your head snapped up. Dropping the pot with a clang, you ran out of the kitchen to find him by your easel about to take the tarp off your latest piece.

“FREEZE!” You slid across the hardwood floor in your wool socks, body blocking Rafael from the art. “Don’t touch that! It’s a surprise!”

Rafael’s eyebrows shot up into his forehead. “A surprise? For me?”

“No, for my other boyfriend,” you dryly said, rolling your eyes. “Yes, of course it’s for you and it's not ready, yet so no peeking.” You faced the easel to readjust the white tarp covering your art. Curious as to what the mysterious shroud contained, Rafael stepped closer and peered over your shoulder. “I mean it.” You turned and gave him a stern look before softening your face. “Did you decide on anything? I don’t have a big selection so if nothing appeals to you, we can watch Netflix or something.”

Rafael smiled and grabbed your hips. With your body flush to his, he kissed you, nuzzling his nose with yours. “Tell you what. You cooked so you can pick the movie.”

You bit your lip and lifted your eyes to the ceiling as if you would find the answer hanging in the air. “It’s a toss-up between Titanic or Alien.”

He made a face and rubbed his stomach. “I would say Alien, but I don’t know if I can handle that chest-bursting scene while eating.”

“Hmm good point. Titanic, it is then!” You announced and went to grab the DVD of the sweeping romance.

*****

You and Rafael snuggled up on the couch under a blanket, watching Jack and Rose fall madly in love with each other on the doomed passenger liner while having a lively discussion about whether or not there was in fact enough room on the door for both of them. The decision was unanimous—there was enough to room, although Rafael did argue about buoyancy.

By the time the old lady dropped the diamond necklace into the ocean, you both could barely keep your eyes open, exhausted from a long hard week. Turning off the TV, you trudged down the hall, hand in hand.

You wordlessly got ready for bed. Rafael finished brushing his teeth and walked into the bedroom where you were undressing. Your body illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. He stopped in his tracks, having never seen a more glorious sight, committing every curve, every freckle to memory.

You caught his eye and smiled, blushing under his intense gaze. Rafael had seen you naked countless times, but this time felt different. The way he stared at you, as if you were some otherworldly creature that had come into his life.

He stepped closer and stood in front of you, reaching out to stroke your hair. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed.

Your heart fluttered. Slowly, you began to undress him, tugging off his navy blue crewneck sweater, unbuttoning his jeans, shedding layer after layer, until he was naked. “What are you doing?” he asked.

You didn’t respond, rather you placed a soft kiss on the left side of his chest, right over where his rapidly beating heart lay before wrapping your arms around him. There were no sexual undertones in that precious quiet moment. All you wanted was for Rafael to feel your love for him in that simple gesture.

A lump formed in his throat. Rafael had never experienced a love like this. It had been years since he allowed himself to feel this way. He didn’t realize how deeply he could love one person and more importantly that he deserved that kind of love in return. Instead of cautiously dipping his toe into the water, he jumped in feet first. Those precarious walls he had built came crumbling down under your slightest touch. Standing there with you in his arms, he didn’t feel vulnerable or exposed; he felt safe, like he was home.

He lead you over to the bed and gently laid you down on the mattress before moving next to you. That night Rafael covered you like a blanket, his kisses tender, passionate, and all-encompassing. It wasn’t long before you both fell asleep, holding each other close; the snow softly falling outside your bedroom window.

Meanwhile somewhere off in the distance, your phone buzzed, the battery dangerously low.

Hey, I think I left my immigration law book at your place. I’m gonna stop by tomorrow morning and pick it up. I’ll even make chocolate chip pancakes :)

The text message from your brother flashed on the screen once before the battery ran out and your phone died.

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dyscrasia-eucrasia · 5 years ago

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Part 25

"So… what now?" Angel asked as Demie shoveled the last few lettuce leaves into his mouth. "You wanna just go home?"

Demie slumped back in his seat, looking out of the windshield at the diner. He turned the camera over and over in his hands. "Which road are we on?" He asked.

"WV-2."

Demie turned and looked out the passenger window. He seemed pretty deep in thought, but like he was conflicted about something.

"Y'know," he said after a little while, "if we turn around and keep on 2, up through Point Pleasant, we could be in Wayne National Forest in about forty minutes."

"Isn't that in Ohio?"

"Yeah." Demie left it at that.

"I thought you wouldn't like Point Pleasant, with the whole Mothman thing," Angel said.

"I'm not saying we stop in Point Pleasant," Demie said tersely. "I'm saying we just drive through it to Wayne. I don't wanna go home right now, and Wayne Forest is like… really pretty and shit."

"Okay, okay," Angel said, putting his hands up. "I gotcha, no need to get heated." Going to a national park with Demie actually sounded pretty idyllic. Angel didn't really get out into the wilderness much - his parents had worked all day every day, including Christmas, so they never had time for vacations. He'd been camping a few times, at the insistence of an ex-boyfriend, and while he had hated the mosquitoes and the lack of running water, there had definitely been something very intimate about sharing a tent with someone under the open sky.

Demie reminded him a bit of that boyfriend - they were both bearded white guys who were really into making their own food and who were lowkey hipsters. But that ex had turned out to be an asshole who thought that 'free love' meant that he could cheat without consequences.

Angel wasn't sure if Demie was like that. He didn't know what Demie's philosophy on love and sex was, and he didn't want to pry. He was, after all, supposed to be a friend, not a lover. But he hoped, on the off chance that anything did happen, that satyrs were monogamous.

As Angel pulled out of the parking lot, Demie rolled down his window and hung his arm off the side of the door. Out of the corner of his eye, Angel could see him lean back against the seat and close his eyes. He inhaled deeply, and then exhaled in a loud whoosh.

"Feeling any better?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, I…" Demie rubbed one of his horns, seemingly trying to piece together his thoughts. "It sounds fuckin' lame but I get these, like, panic attacks sometimes when I leave Billy Brook."

"Doesn't sound lame at all," Angel said. "I sometimes get panic attacks when I go out into the country. I get it, y'know. I'm an outsider out here and it's scary being in a place that you aren't sure is homophobic or racist or whatever."

"No offense, dude, but sucking dick isn't the same as not being human," Demie grumbled.

Angel frowned. He did take offense to that, but he wasn't sure if he had the right to. He supposed Demie was right - he had no idea how it felt to live being mistaken for a literal monster. Still, he didn't like the way Demie had said it.

"So, do you go up to Ohio a lot?" Angel said, switching subjects. He didn't really like hearing Demie talk about homosexuality. He had it in his head that he could eventually change Demie's mind on the subject, but being trapped in a car for an hour didn't feel like the right time to attempt to do so.

"Yeah, sometimes," Demie replied. "Most of my cousins live up in Ohio."

"How many cousins do you have?" Angel asked.

"Mmm…" Demie shifted in his seat, pulling his hand back inside the car so he could silently count off on his fingers.

"Like… eight first cousins?" He said. "And then maybe fifteen second and third cousins. And some more that I don't really know how they fit in, since they're half maenad."

"What's a maenad?"

"Crazy ladies. That's what it literally translates to, that's not an insult. They're human chicks that worship Dionysus, when we have Bacchanalias they go fucking insane. In ancient times they'd get so crazy that if someone who wasn't one of them or a satyr crashed a party, they'd tear them apart with their bare hands."

Angel whistled. "Wow," he said.

"Yeah. It's nuts."

"So, you said you've got cousins who are half of whatever they are--"

"Maenads."

"Right, maenads. You've got cousins who are half maenad, so does that mean satyrs can like… breed with humans?"

"Yeah, I mean, you kinda have to these days, unless you're cool with marrying your third cousin," Demie said.

Angel glanced over at him. "You're kidding," he said.

"Nope. There's only like a hundred of us in West Virginia, Kentucky, and Ohio. I think there are some more in the deep south, but it's not exactly easy to take a road trip and go see them."

"So… wait, you said that the Bacchanalia or whatever is everyone getting drunk and having sex in the woods. Does that mean you guys go have orgies with your cousins?"

"What, like that's any fuckin' weirder than a gay orgy or whatever," Demie said, bristling at the question.

"What do you know about gay orgies?" Angel said, looking over at Demie for a moment.

"Nothing, but I'm sure you're about to tell me," Demie grumbled.

"I have never been to an orgy in my life, gay or otherwise."

"Really?" Demie sounded genuinely surprised. "I would've thought… I dunno…"

"What? You would've thought what?"

"I dunno, you're just like… a really good looking guy. I would've thought you'd be going to, like… a bunch of sex clubs or something. No homo, though."

Angel knew he probably shouldn't be flattered by that, but he kind of was anyways. He wasn't sure if the conversation had answered his question about monogamy, though. Not that he had asked it aloud or anything. It did raise another question as to whether or not Demie had ever committed incest, however. That wasn't something he particularly wanted to think about.

Fortunately, it was Demie's turn to change the subject now.

"Hey, what kind of music do you have?" He asked. "No offense but I don't really like The Cure."

"Some offense taken, but I'll forgive your lack of tastes. Here," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening up his music app. "Knock yourself out."

Demie took the phone, holding it delicately, like he was afraid he was going to accidentally crush it. "What happened to your screen?" He asked.

"Dropped it walking up the stairs," Angel replied. He didn't want to bring up how Demie's brother had responded to his DM. Even if it had been a positive interaction, he wasn't sure if he should bring up Marius at all. The subject seemed to be a bit of a tricky one for Demie, and he didn't want to make it seem like he was stalking his family. "I need to get it fixed, but for now just be careful touching the screen and it'll be fine."

Demie was quiet for a bit as he scrolled through Angel's music collection. He held the phone awkwardly, holding it in his left hand and using his right index finger to scroll and tap. It was like watching an old man try to use a smartphone.

"You listen to Queen?" Demie said after a minute.

"Of course. Why, do you like them?"

"Fuck yeah, they're amazing."

"Huh. Sorry, I didn't expect that from you. Since Freddy Mercury was gay and all."

"I'm not a homophobe, you know," Demie said, that bristly tone back in his voice. He didn't dwell on that thought for long, though, as he hit play.

Angel had expected him to pull up Bohemian Rhapsody - that was the song everyone defaulted to for Queen - but instead what started playing over the car speakers was The Prophet's Song. It was a good song, in his opinion, but it was one of those album fillers that people never talked about.

They sat in silence through the guitar intro, and when Freddy began singing, Demie did so as well, clearly knowing the lyrics from memory. His voice was much deeper than Freddy's, being a thick, deep baritone, but it provided a counter melody to Freddy's voice that gave Angel shivvers.

There was the blast from the guitar as the time signature changed, and Demie lifted his hands and began to air guitar. It wasn't the kind of air guitar Angel was used to - it wasn't big and flashy, and Demie's fingers moved as if he were actually playing the chords. It was more like he just really, really wished he had a guitar in his hands.

Demie continued singing along, his voice swelling and filling the car. Angel got a bit of that same feeling he'd had watching Bacchus in concert - that massive flood of emotion that washed over his whole body. This wasn't as angry and violent as Bacchus had made him feel, though, instead making him feel powerful and epic, like the main character of some fantasy film. He still felt horny, though.

Angel wasn't usually the kind of guy to sing in the car, but the energy radiating off Demie was infectious. He couldn't help it. He opened his mouth and began singing along as well. His voice was out of key and he stumbled over the words - he hadn't sung his high school and didn't really pay attention to the song when he normally listened to it - but he still did his best to meet the high notes.

Somehow, Angel managed to make it through all eight and a half minutes of the song, trading off on the round parts with Demie (which were made a lot easier by virtue of having another person in the car to sing them). When the song finally ended, Angel let out a manic shout, shaking his head and shoulders, which had tensed up over the course of the song.

Demie jumped. "Sorry," he murmured sheepishly. "Got carried away."

"No, dude, that's fine, oh my God," Angel said. "Don't ever apologize for singing around me, holy shit. I fucking love your voice, man."

"Ah… thanks," Demie muttered, sinking lower in his seat.

"Holy shit, that was epic," Angel said. He was out of breath and had started sweating and he didn't even care. "Dude, bring up Bohemian Rhapsody, I'm sure you'd absolutely kill that song."

"Y-yeah, sure…" Demie said as he fumbled with the phone. They spent the rest of the drive singing along to Queen, though none of the songs really filled the car with the same energy as the first one.

#writing #writers on tumblr #original fiction #gay fiction #lgbt fiction #mlm fiction #original characters #wright art #w:demie and angel

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misscgyn · 5 years ago

Text

Everybody Wants a Piece of Max (Caulscott Fanfic)

*gif not mine!!

Fandom: Life is Strange

Pairing: Max Caulfield x Nathan Prescott

Prompt: ’Stop ignoring me ignoring you.’ & ‘I’ve been called worse.’

Summary: Max had a petty fight with Nathan when he learned that she hangout with Warren alone at night. He got so jealous of it.

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 5,253 words

Warnings: Nothing. It’s all fluff and very slightly implied smut.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625446

Note: It has been four years already and I’m still a fucking trash for Caulscott. So here we are, my first Caulscott fanfic ever. I never really post my stories but kinda want to share this with my fellow low-key Caulscott shippers who still ships them in 2019. Enjoy.

—————

“I told you, we just ate dinner and watched the movie. Then went home!” Max was trying to explain Nathan about last night with Warren. But Nathan, being stubborn and hot-headed as he is, he didn’t like the idea of Max and Warren hanging out alone. Nathan was marching out from the dorm while Max followed behind him. She want this argument to be done and just doesn’t want to start this day with another quarrel with him. But it seems it already started.

“You basically went on a date with him!” Nathan continued to walk to his class even though he doesn’t feel like attending on it. He, himself, doesn’t really understand why he’s so mad about this. But one thing’s for sure, he is unhappy with it. As per Nathan’s case, unhappy equals sad and sad equals mad. So, yeah, smad.

He walked faster and he felt Max was trying to match his pace causing him to hasten his footsteps further. Max had enough and grabbed him by the arm causing him to stop. Max turned him around to face her. Nathan just rolled his eyes at her while Max stood in front of him and quietly catching her breath after the not-so-running-yet-also-not-walking marathon they did.

“Okay, Nathan. How many times do I have to tell you that Kate, Brooke, and Stella were supposed to be there, to be with us. We planned to hang out together but they ditched us!” Max exclaimed. She pinched the bridge of her nose trying to not be annoyed any further and just chill down. She deeply regretted that she told Nathan about what happened yesterday but she also doesn’t want to keep things from him. She should have known better on how he will react on this.

A week ago, Warren and Brooke was complaining on Max of not having her to hang out with them anymore. Ever since she became friends with Victoria and Nathan, the trio were constantly together. Victoria likes to visit cafes and exchange photo tips with them and Nathan was their go-to-driver. To be fair, she doesn’t really have any choice but to hang out with them especially when Nathan is around. He will practically drag her to his truck along with Victoria and take them to wherever they want.

So to make amends, Max told Warren, Kate, Brooke, and Stella that she will spend some time with them on Tuesday (which is yesterday) for a movie night and dinner. All of them agreed on the plan but when d-day came not all were able to come.

Max went to the parking lot and saw Warren leaning on his car while typing on his phone. Max greeted him and Warren glanced at Max with a disappointed look. Max asked him why and he told her that Brooke can’t come because of some accident she had caused during Ms. Grant’s class and she had to write a report on it to be submitted by tomorrow. Stella also can’t come because of diarrhea or food poisoning. She said that she bought a bread from a sketchy vendor and for the whole day, she was in-and-out of the toilet. Warren scolded her of buying from a stranger knowing that he looked sketchy. In her defense, the bread looked really tasty.

Max was saddened about the news but she tried to be optimistic. She was hoping that Kate sure is coming so she dialed up her number but she wasn’t answering. Max told Warren that she’ll just get back at the dorm to check if everything’s okay. Max ran back to the dorm and knocked at Kate’s door. Kate let her in and she asked her what was wrong. She saw Kate is ready to go based on her clothing but she looked restless while staring at her rabbit. Kate told Max that her rabbit is acting weird and is probably sick because it hadn’t eaten its food since the morning. Kate apologized to Max for not being able to come to movie night. She just can’t leave her sick pet alone which Max understood. Max told her that they can hang out next time again and went back to Warren.

Warren saw Max running back in his direction. He knew that Kate couldn’t come as well when he saw Max jogging back alone. He asked Max if she still wants to go but Max said yes so they ended up spending time together.

“Yeah, sure.” Max snapped back from her flashback when Nathan responded with his disinterested tone. Max groaned. She knew that Nathan is still not finished arguing on this thing.

“You know what. I’m not having this, early in the morning. Let’s just talk later.” Max sighed in defeat. She just really not in the mood to argue right now. She didn’t even have her coffee yet for this drama.

“Yeah, right. Go start your day with that loser-Gayram, Caulfield.”

“See you later, Nathan.” Max said defeatedly.

“Whatthefuckever.”

Max shook her head and separated ways from Nathan. She doesn’t want to go along with Nathan’s anger so she thinks it’s for the best to leave him alone and settle things later. Luckily, she doesn’t have any morning classes with him so it’ll be less annoying. But right now, she really needs to drink her coffee.

—————

It was her last class already and she hadn’t heard anything from Nathan, yet. So she thought of texting him so they could talk after class. It is not her intention to finish this day without talking to him.

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

Hey. Are you okay? Talk later?

Nathan usually replies immediately when he’s not mad. But he is mad, so Max wasn’t exactly expecting him to reply soon. Max shoved her phone back to her pocket and return her attention to the class.

Max and Nathan thinks that they aren’t the typical all fluff couple you would see in movies. They are not like those in a relationship that radiates in sweetness, in fact, they are opposite of it. They always bicker and have petty quarrels (which mostly started by Nathan) that suddenly end up with a cuddling session and just forget what they were fighting about. Their fights weren’t that serious in the first place like there was a one time when Max started to watch a new season of Doctor Who without Nathan and he got so upset about it. He wanted to watch it together with her. He felt like he was ’cheated on’ by Max where Max thought it was not a big deal and they can still watch it together. Nathan annoyed her to death by throwing Max side comments about her apparent ’cheating’ for a week. What Max did to stop him from being an annoying little shit as he is, she barged at his dorm carrying popcorn and cookies and offered him to binge watch the show together. At first, he was going to protest but when Max tone felt like a ‘take it or leave it’ moment, he got scared for the latter. Knowing Max, she means it when she says it so he’s happy to obliged. Despite their many petty fights, it doesn’t always end up in a serious one.

But for Victoria, they just have an unconventional way of expressing love for each other. She finds them really cute couple especially when Max get teased by Nathan. She looks cute when she turns red out of annoyance. Sometimes Victoria teams up with Nathan which Max always felt unfair because she has no one to back her up. Well, Victoria is Nathan’s best friend after all.

The bell rang indicating the end of the class. Max saw Victoria coming at her desk.

“Hey Victoria.”

“Did you two fight, again?” Victoria’s voice sounded like fed up already with her friends’ antics. She wasn’t surprised that Victoria knows about this. Nathan has a thing where he makes sure that he pointed out on people that he’s mad at you. He’s like a kid, Max thought.

“Well, yeah. It’s because of last night. I hang out with Warren. By the way, have you seen Nathan? I was expecting to see him at lunch but he’s nowhere to be found.” Max told Victoria.

“Oh that’s why he’s so pissed at your friend. I actually ate lunch with him at Ziggs. We drove there and he ratted you out as, usual.” That’s Nathan’s routine. Whenever they fight no matter how small it is, he would rant on Victoria about it. Meanwhile, Victoria finds their fights as a great source of entertainment so she had all her ears when it happens.

“What did he say?” Max questioned.

“I think you two should just talk about it and probably have sex or whatever. That’s how you resolve things, right?” Victoria teased. There was a smile plastered across her face.Max blushed at her response.

“W-we d-don’t…” Max tried to answer but Victoria’s hand landed on her shoulder, gently tapping her. She knew that she liked seeing her embarrassed. Although, Max and Nathan have been dating for a while now, they haven’t really done it yet besides from cuddling and kissing.

“But seriously, Maxine, you’re boyfriend is all jealous with you and Warren. And I don’t think he’ll be done arguing about it any time soon.” Victoria told. Max cringed by the name but she understood her statement. He knew Nathan wouldn’t be so happy about it after pointing it to her that Warren had a thing for her before which Max didn’t knew. She told Nathan that he was just being a nice friend but Nathan knew better than that.

“Thanks, Victoria. And… Max never Maxine.”

“I know. Au revoir.” Victoria smiled teasingly at her and waved goodbye. Max waved back and begin to clean up her desk ready to leave the room.

When she went out, she saw Kate talking to Ms. Paxton. She waited for them to finish their conversation before greeting her friend. Kate looked distressed which made Max worry about her. Max wondered what happened to her pet rabbit last night.

“Hi Kate.”

“Max! How did it go last night?” Kate tried to be cheerful but the sadness in her voice can’t be completely hidden.

“It was fun. We ate dinner and saw the movie just like what’s planned. How was your rabbit by the way?”

“Glad to hear that. Oh, Max. I had her taken to the vet earlier because she didn’t eat anything at all yesterday. I was so worried. But the vet told me that she’s gonna be fine.” Kate explained. Max placed her hand on Kate’s shoulder while the other was holding Kate’s hand. Max gave her a squeeze to comfort her worried friend.

“Ahh…That’s why you missed Ms. Paxton class earlier. I’m sure she’s going to be okay, Kate. You, too should take a rest.”

“Thank you, Max. I promise that I will make it up to you and Warren next time.”

“It’s okay, Kate. We understand. Like I said, we can all hang out together next time.” Max gave her quick hug and walk back to the dorm together.

—————

Max just finished her assignments and checked the clock. It was already ten o'clock. She really lost track of time after writing essays and doing her portfolio. She checked her phone and surprisingly, there still no responses from Nathan. She decided to text him again.

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

Nathan, where are you? I haven’t seen you all day. Call me.

Max waited for a response or a call but there’s nothing. She assumed that he didn’t want to talk later after her class since he didn’t replied to her text so she went full focused on her assignments. Max started to feel weird because Nathan usually at least reply like ’fuck off’ or just emojis to her when he’s mad. But he never ignored her texts not until now.

Max decided to just sleep and maybe tomorrow Nathan is ready to settle their petty fight.

—————

Afternoon came by and Max still hadn’t heard on Nathan. They had classes together this afternoon but he skipped it, like usual. Although, she can’t hide her worry about him. Max is wondering if she is underestimating the weight of their argument between her and Nathan. Should I be worried? She asked herself.

The whole day went fast and Max had no single sight of Nathan. Not even Victoria had saw him. Max tried to call him and spammed him with text but there’s not a single reply from him.

Max texted him again despite the lack of response.

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

Nathan, please reply. I’ve been trying to talk to you but it’s you who don’t want to be contacted. I don’t even see you!

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

Let’s talk please. I’ll wait at your dorm later. See you.

—————-

Just as she said at her last text to Nathan, she went to his dorm and waited for him. She was actually expecting to see him but to her disappointment, an Nathan-less room welcomed her.

She sat on his bed checked her phone again to see if he already replied. She sighed that he’s still not answering all of her messages and call to him. Is he ignoring my messages? Max wondered to herself. She began to grabbed a book laying around his room and read it to get over her boredom of waiting.

Hours had passed but Nathan hadn’t came back to his dorm. Max grew worried and began to think what if something happened to him. What if he’s in an accident? Or a fight? Or a hospital? Max breath deeply to calm her thoughts and began dialing Victoria. She hope that she knew where were his whereabouts.

“Hello, Victoria.”

“Hi, Max! What’s up?”

“Are you with Nathan? Do you know where he is?”

“Oh my God, Max. You two still hadn’t make up? Wow. Just when I thought you two can’t stand not seeing each other for a day. Both of you only lasted not talking to each other for four hours the last time you fought. This is a record-breaker, Max.”

“I know and I’m getting worried about him. So please tell me Victoria that you are with him right now. Or at least saw him today.”

“I’m sorry, Max. I am currently at my parent’s house right now. We just got back from dinner. And no, I also haven’t seen Nathan today.”

“What if something happened to him, Victoria?” Max voice faintly cracked by that sad thought. She is really getting worried about him.

“Max, calm down first. Maybe Nathan’s just chillin’ somewhere. Max, if something would really happen to Nathan, I promise you that I would know it. I will try to contact other Vortex members if they saw Nathan. I know there’s a party outside the campus right now. Maybe Nathan’s there. I’ll get back to you.”

“Thanks, Victoria.” She hang up her phone. At least Victoria didn’t seemed panicky on this situation which made Max to be somewhat relieved. If something is really wrong with Nathan, she would know it. They have known each other since childhood.

Max suddenly remembered of Kate’s pet. She went on the vet right after class and they hadn’t had the chance to talk about her pet’s condition. So she sent a quick text to her which Kate responded immediately. She told Max that she will be bringing it back to her dorm tomorrow morning. They will just observe her for the night before completely discharging the pet. Max was slightly relieved on Kate’s but still stressed out by Nathan.

She was about to text him again when a notification popped up on her phone. It was from her social media and was from Nathan’s. She clicked it and saw Nathan posted a photo of him and some Vortex club members in a party. Maybe this is the party that Victoria was talking about.

There were no captions on the photo but the image is evident enough to see that he’s having a good time right now. Max was both furious and relieved at the same time (but mostly furious) because Nathan’s safe and he is really just purposely ignoring her texts since he’s able enough to update his social media account. And don’t even try to argue that he may be using a laptop right now and probably lost his phone, cause damn who carries a laptop at a party except the DJ. And knowing Nathan wouldn’t bother to borrow a laptop or someone’s phone for instance just to update his social media, that’s just not him. And most especially, losing his phone is definitely a no-no. He may lost his car keys or wallet but not his phone. That kid is legit scared at his father if he misses a call from him so losing his phone is not an option here.

She texted Nathan again to let him know her sentiments.

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

Nathan, i know you are still upset about last Tuesday and I have explained it to you many times but you won’t listen to me. And i’m trying to reached out to you but you don’t answer my calls nor my texts.

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

I got worried about you thinking you might have been in an accident or something since I haven’t heard nor even seen you at school today. Only to find out that you are there partying somewhere I don’t know.

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

I’m not mad about you partying. I don’t really mind when you party with Zach or whoever. What I’m mad about is that you can’t even tell me that you are fine at least. I know you are just ignoring my texts. You know, I am very very much worried about you. You could’ve at least sent a ‘K’ or a ‘fuck you’ so I know that you are okay.

To: Nathan

Fr: Max

AND FINE, Prescott. If you’re giving me the cold shoulder, I can give you one as well.

Max aggressively spammed the sent button. She get out of Nathan’s bed. Before going out of his room, Victoria had told Max what she already knew.

‘I fucking hate you, Prescott.’ She cursed under her breath. She left his room and stomped her way back to her dorm.

—————

Max had asked Victoria to help her pick up some books for their photography class presentation. So they went up to the library but Max didn’t expected to see Nathan with her. Not that she acknowledge his existence tho. He just boredly stood there like a statue.

Max was actually happy that he finally showed up but still refused to talk to him. Neither he is talking to her as well.

Victoria was busy looking for books, same with Max. Victoria was trying to reach a book from a higher shelf but it’s too high up. She asked Nathan to get it for her but before he even reaches it, Max was quicker to get a ladder and reach the higher shelf. She felt Nathan is shooting daggers from his glare but she didn’t care.

“I think this is enough.” Max told Victoria and walked pass on Nathan.

Victoria sensed some tension between the two but just ignored it and hoping it will be gone soon.

—————

The two kept up with their little game, Who ignore Whom better. And without a doubt, Max is winning. Nathan seems to be soon beaten at his own game.

Max was buying a drink on the vending machine when suddenly she saw Nathan on her peripheral vision visibly walking towards her direction.

“Caulfield.” He called but Max was stubborn enough to resist to respond. She wants Nathan to get a taste of his own medicine.

“Max! Are we seriously keep going to do this?!” There was frustration in his voice but Max doesn’t want to waver and continued to ignore him as if he doesn’t exist.

Nathan then snatched her drink from the vending machine to get her attention but Max was firm.

“Weird. I feel like the vendo is talking to me. And my drink is now gone. Sooo weird.” She sarcastically said. Nathan was about to say something but the class bell rang and Max immediately ran back to the room.

—————

It was lunch time and Max was sitting with Kate, Warren and others. She saw Nathan walking with Victoria and quickly looked away when she stretched her hands and pointed at Max making Nathan to look at her. Max pretended to not to see him and quietly ate her lunch.

Victoria noticed how Max and Nathan diverted their glances. It was obvious that they are still not okay and looks like not gonna be okay soon. She and Nathan sat on another table and just quietly ate their lunches as well. Victoria rolled her eyes and was thinking how awkward it will get on their next classes. She and Nathan are sitting beside each other while Max is just across them. She wonders how she will play cupid for her two stubborn friends.

—————

Their next class went well. But not for Victoria who was distressed by the two of them. Both of them were like releasing a cold and dark aura that Victoria felt all throughout the lecture. So immediately after the dismissal bell, she dragged Max and Nathan at her table and snapped at them.

“Okay, enough! You two should make up now! It’s really uncomfortable and unsettling being stuck in between lover’s quarrel. I don’t want that shit, okay?!”

“I’m sorry, Victoria. But do tell your friend that he started this.” Max retorted completely ignoring Nathan’s presence even though he’s right behind Victoria.

“Well, tell that bitch that if she didn’t hang out with her gay friend then none of this would happen!” Nathan replied.

“OKAY STOP!” Victoria had her one hand on her hips and one was shushing both of the bickering couple. “I had enough of this jealousy drama of you two! I was enjoying it at first but now it’s not fun anymore. So please fucking kiss and make up!” Victoria stormed out of the room leaving the two glaring at each other.

‘Fuck!’ Nathan cursed as Max left the room with Kate.

—————

Max was at Kate’s room checking up on her bunny. It’s livelier now and had started eating the food again. Kate offered her room to Max after hearing the fight earlier at the classroom. Max told her about why exactly they are fighting and Kate just chuckled and told Max that she had faith that the two of them will resolve it really soon. Initially, Kate wasn’t quite fond of Nathan before because of his intense demeanor. But he changed when he’s with Max. He’s still mean and screamy but otherwise he seems nicer and somehow relaxed. She finds them adorable as well. Kate was actually the first one to figure out that she and Nathan were a thing after she heard Nathan in Max’s room practicing his apology to Max. Ever since then she suspected the two but never really confronted Max about it. She was waiting for Max to tell it to her herself. She was understanding enough of them since the pair aren’t exactly what people expected would be. A mean guy and a nice, quiet girl. They tried to hide it at first but eventually learned to not care anymore and Blackwell students seemed to shake it off as well.

“I can’t believe why am I dating a guy like him, Kate.”

“It’s because you like him, Max. Love him.” Kate replied in almost a giggling way. Max looked at her and shook her head. For what Max knew, Kate is also one of the biggest shippers of them. She always tell them that they are growing themselves together. On how they make each other better.

“I just— he loves bickering all the time and—”

“That’s basically both your thing!” Kate interrupted. “Are you going to talk to him now?”

Max stood up from sitting on the floor. “I don’t know.” She replied to Kate.

Max said thanks to Kate for offering comfort then went back to her room. She opened her door and was about to lie down to her bed when he saw Nathan sleeping on it. 'Was he waiting for me?’ Max mentally asked herself.

She watched Nathan’s chest to slowly rise up and go down. He’s in deep slumber. A sleeping Nathan looked like as if he doesn’t choke people when he’s awake. She observed his light brown curly hair fall on his face. He looks really peaceful when he’s sleeping. She walked on her desk to get her camera and snap a photo of a sleeping Nathan. Her camera loudly clicked but fortunately it didn’t wake him up. She shook the photograph and stared at it. It looked like a rare pokemon sighting sleeping at peace, it was a great shot. It made her smile.

She went over her desk to do some homework and update her diary.

—————

After some hours, she heard noises behind her. She bet that Nathan’s now awake based on the sound of his groans. Still, Max didn’t looked at him and continued to work on her assignment.

“Max….” he quietly called. Max was still ignoring him.

“If you keep on doing this. I will keep on ignoring you too.” Nathan said in annoyance but Max didn’t budge.

“I said I’m ignoring you!” Nathan yelled but there is no response from Max.

“AAAGGHHHH!” Nathan rake his hand to his hair out of frustration but Max still didn’t bat an eye on him.

“Stop it!” Max held down her pen but still not looking at Nathan.

“Stop ignoring me 'ignoring you’!!” Nathan finally said causing Max to look at him. Max perked her head up to Nathan, whose leaning on his back while seating on her bed and his hair is at chaos. Max find it cute but she hold her giggle to herself. They have to do some ’talking’ first.

“I-I’m sorry.” Nathan said with his head down.

“Why did you ignore my texts?” Max asked.

“Because I wanted you to miss me! I-I was trying to make you jealous so I posted that photo so you know that I can have fun with others too… But i didn’t think enough that you’ll get worried when I don’t text you back. I’m sorry, Max.” Nathan explained. She was right, she just beaten him in his own game. Nathan is really childish despite his tough image which Max finds adorable to him.

“I-I just really don’t like you hanging out with Gayram.” Nathan was nibbling his hands together and shoot a glance at Max. Although, Max is glad on Nathan being unusually calm about this. Most of their fights sounded like who can scream louder but not today.

“Nate… I will seriously hang out more with Warren if you don’t stop him calling that name.” Nathan frowned for a bit and sighed on her reply.

“Okay, okay… Sorry. I just get so…” Is he going to say it? Is he going to admit it? Admitting what he feels is rare on Nathan’s case 'cause he never admits anything. Max remembered when Nathan can’t believed that he actually liked her. Victoria had to rub it on Nathan’s face before he even finally acknowledge it. Because he never thought it would be her. Maxine Caulfield who can make Nathan Prescott tolerable as he described.

“So ’what’, Nathan?” Max questioned. Although she knew what exactly he will say. She just wants him to admit it. Nathan rub his palms to his face and… “I’m jealous, okay?!” Max smiled and half of her can’t believe he actually said it.

“Nathan Prescott is jealous of Warren Graham huh. That’s a headline.” Max teased. Nathan groaned and grew annoyed of Max’s remark. He wants to protest but she isn’t wrong about it. He is indeed jealous of him.

“Apology accepted. And I’m sorry too for ignoring you ignoring me.” Max just can’t stop herself from teasing Nathan.

Nathan brushed his hair trying to fix it and saw Max grinning from ear to ear.

“What?!” Nathan’s back again with his natural self, the hot-headed self.

“You looked so cute. So fluffy.” Max chuckled. He hates being called 'fluffy’ but Max thinks that is just the best description of him. He looks tough outside but in reality, he’s a softie.

Nathan get out of the bed and went to Max. She stopped chuckling when Nathan placed his hand on her nape and lifted her chin, meeting his blue orbs. His rested his forehead on hers feeling the growing warmth between it. He looked at the tiny freckles on her face which he always admired. Max lifted her hand to reach for Nathan’s hand on her face. The pair refuse to blink and just let themselves be mesmerized on each other. They stared at one another’s eyes for a moment before Nathan dived in for a kiss. Their lips met and felt like they were both hungry for each other, longing, and passionate. Max briefly pulled away and whispered ’I miss you.’

“I know you do.” Nathan replied confidently. Max rolled her eyes and Nathan gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I miss you too.” They shared a kiss once again but this time it went more than that.

—————

“Max…”

“Hmm…?”

“Stop hanging out with Graham?” Nathan told in a semi-command and semi-plead tone.

“Not gonna happen. You know you can sit and hang out with us some time. I’m sure you and Warren will agree on Doctor Who. Both of you are nerds on it.” Max offered him. Although she knows it is not the best idea but he should try sometimes. It’s not like they’re going to gang up on him so they could take revenge on him bullying them before. Though, that could happened, she wondered.

“Fuck no! I don’t wanna join your loser’s club. And I’m not a nerd!”

“Said the man who always quotes something referenced to Doctor Who.” Max sarcastically retorted.

“Besides you’re dating a someone who belongs to the ’losers’ club you were saying.” She added.

“I-I mean… you’re not a loser, Max.” Max wasn’t offended by it because she knows he doesn’t mean it. She just like to tease him as always.

“It’s okay. I’ve been called worse.” She replied. Nathan looked at Max who is lying next beside him. Max saw his face and he’s squinting again. He’s mad.

“Wh-what?! Who the fuck called you something worse? What did they called you?! I’m gonna kicked that motherfucker’s ass.” Although, Nathan sometimes call Max names like 'bitch’, 'ass’, 'cockfield’, where Max counters it with 'dickbagtheasshole’, 'little shit, 'dumbass’. It’s kind of their endearment with each other. But Nathan doesn’t appreciate it when other people call her that. He become all over-protective all of a sudden and he always made sure that no one messes with him or Max.

Nathan waited for her response but Max was just grinning and said…

“Your 'girlfriend’.” She looked up at Nathan and leaned for a quick peck on his lips. Nathan raised his brows and knew that Max was teasing him so he would like to punish his little girl and gone all alpha mode with Max again.

- End -

Post note: I know I’m very very late but 2019 me still crave for Caulscott fanfics i don’t even know who still reads them other than me. This is inspired from one Caulscott fanfic I’ve read before, I don’t quite remember but it was a pretty well-written one. Ghaaad i suck at remembering things. I think I’ve read too many fanfics. This is like a fanfic of a fanfic. Nonetheless, I still want to share this with you. This is my first ever fanfic of Caulscott and first to be posted in Tumblr and I don’t fucking know how Tumblr works. I mean I’ve been a long time low-key reader here but I never really posted stuff on my blog so if someone can send help how this works, please rescue me from the technological ignorance. Anyway, I’m still a trash for Caulscott like I said and still figuring out if I will ever get out of this fandom but there’s no way out, I guess.

Comments, re-blogs, and/or likes are highly appreciated (but not obliged) if you enjoyed this short fic. Sending love to all strong Caulscott shippers through this years. What a trash we are! Jk! 💖💖💖

#caulscott #presfield #max caufield #nathan prescott #life is strange #lis #kate marsh #victoria chase #warren graham #fanfic #maxine caulfield #max x nathan #lifeisstrange

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peterstanslizzie · 5 years ago

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Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.19 (Gordo and the Girl)

I wish Kyla Pratt had guest starred in more episodes. But hey, maybe she can come back as Brooke in the new series next year?

- We kick things off at the Digital Bean; Lizzie and Miranda are talking about how excited they are for their own Scary Movie marathon. However, they are bummed about Gordo not being with them because he needs to spend some time bonding with his dad.

- They reflect on their own bonding experiences with their dads and they weren’t exactly pleasant with either of them. Suddenly, they spot Gordo with a girl named Brooke Baker (played by the Proud Family’s Kyla Pratt) sitting at their own table and looking really comfortable with one another.

I’ve said in my recent episode reviews that Gordo is low-key girl crazy; So, it’s about time he goes on dates

- Miranda accurately suspects he’s on a date with Brooke. Lizzie doesn’t see it that way because she believes he would have told them about it. And just as they are about to approach Gordo, the two of them lock lips!

Gordo’s best friends are clearly stunned at what they just witnessed

Problems At School

- At the Mcguire home, the kids are having breakfast side by side and they are both quiet and oddly in-sync with one another. Their parents, Sam and Jo notice this and decide to take action.

- Jo asks Lizzie why she’s feeling down but Lizzie doesn’t want to say a word and just walks away before she could question her more. For Sam, things are a lot smoother with Matt because he straight away tells him all the problems he’s facing in school like not having a clue as to what’s going on in Math class. Sam tells Matt that he will help him with his homework after school and things are pretty much resolved. Well, boys at Matt’s age are easier to deal with compared to teen girls.

- We are taken to Biology class and Lizzie is partnered up with Gordo to dissect an octopus. Gordo is straight up lying to Lizzie about his date with Brooke but he does it so well. He is masterfully able to come up with a smooth narrative confidently on what he did with his dad the night before.

- The next thing you know, a random girl passes a note to Gordo and it’s from Brooke! She wants him to come over to her table but Lizzie desperately wants him to stay because she doesn’t want to dissect an octopus alone.

Relax Lizzie! Gordo will only be gone for awhile. Plus, shouldn’t you know what to do? Don’t tell me you’re making Gordo do everything for you?

Gordo’s Date

- Lizzie and Miranda are having lunch at the outdoor cafeteria and they are discussing about what happened with Gordo in the lab. Miranda says that people at school are gossiping about their supposed relationship.

“I feel like I’m in a dream where everyone wants to kiss my frog”. This line is definitely memorable to me. Also, it’s kinda clear that Lizzie is a little jealous that Gordo likes somebody else.

- They just can’t believe that Gordo is somebody’s boyfriend because they always see him as their guy best friend. But shouldn’t they know he’s girl crazy too? I mean, he’s bound to have a girlfriend one day. Gordo approaches the two and informs them he’s helping out a friend (a.k.a. Brooke) with their homework. Like I said, he’s an excellent liar.

- Lizzie is trying to give Miranda the benefit of the doubt. She thinks that Gordo is just friends with Brooke and Brooke might be using him for her own benefit. The kiss that happened yesterday was a legit one; There’s no denying that.

Lizzie Isn’t Sure If She Likes Gordo

- Lizzie tells Miranda that she would be devastated if Miranda ends up dating somebody but doesn’t tell her anything. Maybe Lizzie isn’t only jealous about Gordo liking another girl but she’s afraid that her friends will abandon her once they are partnered up. Well, that’s just reality sweetheart lol

- Anyways, Miranda thinks that Brooke really likes Gordo because he’s “different” and that’s why she “likes him”. When she said that, Lizzie’s face lights up and asks her if she actually likes him likes him. Miranda straight up says “no” and asks the same question to Lizzie. She hesitates answering the question, which tells us viewers she does like him in that sense.

This is I believe, the first moment in the series where we got a strong hint that Lizzie likes Gordo

- Gordo shows up and Lizzie confesses to him that they saw him with Brooke at the Digital Bean. She even tells him she’s concerned about Brooke possibly using him for the wrong reasons because she’s friends with Claire Miller and doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t tell them about his relationship.

- Gordo is clearly offended by everything she’s saying because he really likes Brooke and he doesn’t like how his friends are telling him that her feelings for him is false. I agree with Gordo; He’s only been dating Brooke for like maybe less than a week and they can’t just expect him to tell them everything so soon!

A Hot Date With Gordo

- I assume a few days had gone by with Lizzie and Miranda not being on speaking terms with Gordo. They overhear Claire talking about Brooke’s upcoming “hot date” with someone at an Italian restaurant called the Holy Rigatoni. Lizzie doesn’t want to wrap her mind around the fact that the hot date is Gordo. To make matters worse, she thinks Brooke is cheating on him.

- Lizzie and Miranda come up with a plan to convince Gordo that they are finally supportive of his new relationship but they are so awkward in their execution, especially Lizzie. It’s hard for them to get onboard with a relationship they don’t believe in the first place.

- There’s only one way for them to approach this: Spy on Brooke and her mystery date and catch her cheating on Gordo. They are about to be so wrong on this one...

- We skip to date night at the restaurant. Lizzie and Miranda are spying on Brooke and her date, which is clearly Gordo. Before I continue, I need to know why does Miranda need to be dressed up as a dude. Is it really necessary? Do they think that only ‘couples’ or ‘straight couples’ can get tables at this joint?

Poor Miranda! I can’t believe she’s letting Lizzie ask her to do this. But hey, this proves to us that Miranda is a great friend to have!

- The guy who’s with Brooke (Gordo) gets up and heads into the men’s bathroom. Lizzie asks Miranda to follow him and check out who this person is. Miranda, the ‘dude’ or should I say Mirando enter the men’s room hesitantly. Yikes! She’s gonna be mortified by the things she’s about to see in there hahaha.

- Miranda finally realises it’s been Gordo the entire time and she scurries out of the bathroom to notify Lizzie. Just as they’re about to leave the restaurant, the manager stops them and informs them that their table is ready and they had no other choice but to stay. Plus, Gordo could have been able to see them run off.

I love this guy. Especially the way he is describing their restaurant specials in that surfer bro voice he has

- During Gordo’s date with Brooke, Brooke tells him she wants them to spend more time together. However, she isn’t aware of the piece of spaghetti hanging on the side of her mouth. Gordo tries to tell her but she can’t stop talking lol.

If I were Gordo, I would just use my hand to remove that string of spaghetti off her face

- Gordo explains to Brooke that they are always hanging out between classes and after school. But Brooke prefers them to be together even more and wants him to change his class schedule to fit hers.

Busted!

- Lizzie is now convinced that she’s wrong and Brooke isn’t playing with Gordo’s feelings. She and Miranda decide to quickly leave the restaurant but they accidentally bumped and crashed into a waiter carrying a whole tray of food.

Lizzie falls again feat. Miranda. By the way, that is a lot of pasta!

- This causes Gordo and Brooke to focus their attention on them and he immediately recognises his two friends. Gordo obviously feels hurt and betrayed by them and rightfully so. But, he also needs to recognise that his friends do truly care for him.

- At Lizzie’s front porch the next day, both Lizzie and Miranda are sadly thinking about the possibility that Gordo may not want to be their friend anymore. But with the magic of television, Gordo pops up! He lets them know that although he is still upset they spied on him with his date, he is happy to know that he has friends that actually care about him.

- He tells them that he actually broke up with Brooke because he isn’t ready to be committed to a serious relationship yet since Brooke is pretty demanding as a girlfriend.

Things are back to normal!

Kids, let’s learn about Percentages!

- I guess this is the B-plot of this episode: Sam teaching Matt grade-school math and then Matt abusing the knowledge he has gained. Sam is using visual aids like gum-balls to make it more fun to learn.

-But Matt makes a classic ‘Matt-move’ and tries to trick his dad to avoid taking out the garbage by using Conditional Probability. Well, Matt ends up confusing Sam and he is able to get away from doing his chore.

- Matt continues this habit by making bets using odds and percentages with Lanny on whether Lizzie will yell at him, which she does. Lanny silently suggest they should play this game with the other kids at school.

- Afterwards, we see Matt taking calls and placing bets with other kids from school and can I just say that these kids are super gullible. There’s this one kid who was told by Matt that the Yellow team has weaker odds of winning a dodgeball match compared to the Blue team but he still bets on Yellow? Like what?!

- Jo is going through her kids’ laundry and discovers Matt’s book, which lists out all the names of the kids who owe him stuff. Matt and Lanny walk into the living room carrying a bunch of things they cheated out from the other kids and stop dead in their tracks as soon as they see Jo.

Lanny makes a very wise decision to ditch Matt here lol

- Matt tries to cover up his own tracks by suggesting the things were given to him by the other kids but Jo is not buying his story and tells Matt to return all his stuff back to them.

Aww the puppy dog pout

Overall Thoughts

- This episode definitely stood the test of time because I still remember most of the plot from this episode. The introduction of Brooke as Gordo’s new girlfriend was a great addition to shake things up in our best friend trio of Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda. We also get a subtle revelation that Lizzie does have some deep feelings for Gordo.

- I only wish that we got some little context on how did Brooke and Gordo actually meet and asked each other out because seeing them straight away on their date and kissing was a little shocking to me. But overall, it gives us a nice, thorough glimpse on what middle school dating life is like in Lizzie Mcguire

- I thought that the gambling B-plot involving Matt, his parents and Lanny wasn’t bad at all. It was brief and to the point; They didn’t drag any scenes far too long to the point where I would’ve gotten bored. I also like how they taught us that gambling and cheating can also be carried out on a smaller scale in school, involving trivial things like candy and toys etc.

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missjanjie · 5 years ago

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Branjie Fic | Bad Girls Club (8/8)

Title: Bad Girls Club Summary: Los Angeles’ new program, the Juvenile Female Rehabilitation Program (JFRP) was created with the purpose of taking at-risk girls in the county and send them to a summer-long program located where a sleepaway camp once stood. There, they will take classes in ethics, behavior, and other courses to help mold these young minds. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa have been sent there for wildly different reasons, but with the same result - a clean permanent record. Being roomed together, the pair might find an unlikely alliance (and maybe more) in each other. Word Count: ~2.5k (this chapter)/~22k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: E

A/N: I really can’t believe it’s done, you guys! Thank you all for your ongoing support and a special thanks to @artificialmeggie for being a fantastic beta ♥

Read on AO3

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Brooke Lynn furrowed her brows when she woke up. Why was her bed smaller than usual? But then her eyes adjusted, and she realized Vanessa was sound asleep and nestled into her side. Ah yes, the limited space was well worth it. As it turned out, she had become quite accustomed to being confined to narrow spaces with the smaller girl, and it always worked in her favor. “You know what I just realized?”

Vanessa yawned and pushed the mess of hair off her face. “Hmm?”

“One of my fondest memories of our time here takes place in a supply closet. Can you imagine trying to explain that to someone?”

She laughed softly and buried her face into the crook of Brooke’s neck. “Ain’t no one gonna find out though.”

And sure, it would always be their little secret, but Brooke couldn’t help but picture the look on a classmate’s face if she confessed to her summertime endeavors. In an odd way, she was proud that she would be going home a changed girl, a well-rounded version of herself that no amount of voluntary extracurriculars would have ever been able to match. She had expected to awkwardly fly under the radar for the duration of the program - no confrontation, just keeping her head down and getting the job done.

“I don’t think there’s anything I could tell anyone that they would believe anyway.”

Vanessa snorted. “They’re gonna ask if you got shanked or tattooed or some shit, huh? They’ll be looking for a lil teardrop under your eye.” She poked her face where the tattoo would be, then kissed the spot of unmarked skin.

Brooke Lynn rolled her eyes and squeezed her lightly. “Baby, they don’t think I went to prison. Most of them don’t even know what the real story is, they think I’m a counselor at a camp for underprivileged youths.”

“I’m an underprivileged youth, it’s kinda true!”

And a lot of the girls in the program were in situations almost identical to Vanessa’s, or even worse. While Brooke had expected to be an outlier on campus, she could have never prepared herself for the stories she heard - abuse, neglect, poverty - and half the time the storyteller wouldn’t even bat an eye, in fact they sometimes appreciated the fact that she would sit and listen without insulting them. Or even worse, pity them.

Brooke sat up and pulled her hair into a ponytail. “I think that’s what I wanna do now, though. Like, I’ve always known how privileged I am, but actually having something to compare my life to really changes things, you know?”

Vanessa rolled to lay flat on her back, shifting her legs to trap Brooke between them. “Normally when I hear your type talk about trying to help my type out, it’s full of that bullshit white warrior complex.”

“White savior.”

“Whatever, same thing,” she huffed. “We’ve had rich white people come to the hood, click their tongues all ‘oh, poor baby’ like, maybe buy us lunch or a pair of sneakers, and walk away patting theyselves on their backs like they did us such a big favor. I seen the way you talk to the other girls, you actually give a fuck.”

Vanessa hated being patronized - though the actual word wouldn’t come to mind. There were times when wealthy folks would wander into the ‘bad part of town’ where she lived and just gawk at them like they were visiting the zoo. Sure, she would take the free meal if she were bored or hungry, but that didn’t mean she actually appreciated it.

But she appreciated Brooke, not just for seeing her humanity but seeing her as an equal. She knew it was something she should be able to expect from anyone, but that was unrealistic (not that anything about their current situation would sound especially realistic to an outsider). It was what made their relationship feel like more than just sex - they connected on some sort of deeper level that she had the unyielding desire to cling to.

And yet she had to put it in jeopardy one more time. “I need to tell you something. You know how I told you I got sent here over something dumb?”

Brooke’s brows knitted as she tried to recall. “It was like… weed and a fake ID, right?”

“That’s the story.” Vanessa looked down and sighed. “And it did happen a lot, but I got sent here ‘cause I was seeing this girl that actually had a boyfriend but kept jerking me around, so I TP’ed her house and hooked A’keria into it.” She spoke fast, just barely coherent, because the sooner she ripped off the bandage the better. “Just didn’t wanna seem crazy from day one.”

To Vanessa’s surprise, there wasn’t much of a reaction from Brooke. She shrugged, nonplussed. “That’s not so bad.” Her arms looped back around her waist and pulled her close. “I thought you were gonna say you tried to stab her or something.”

Vanessa elbowed her playfully. “You think I’m someone that could cut a bitch?”

“Baby, don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.”

------

Waiting for report cards was making the crowd of girls shift and bounce in anxious anticipation. They whispered to each other, speculating about their final grades and what it meant for their respective futures. The dining hall was full and the air was heavy with tension, as if everyone were holding their breath.

“Last names A through H come to the front to get your report cards.”

Brooke Lynn took a deep, unsteady breath as she got up and made her way towards the front of the hall.

“What are you nervous about?” A’keria asked, walking in time with her. “You know you’re gonna get a fuckin’…. quadruple A+.”

“I don’t know anything,” she retorted in a harsh whisper.

Bouncing on her heels as the secretary sorted through the cards and gave A’keria hers first, Brooke Lynn’s nerves didn’t quell for a moment. Grading wasn’t straightforward like it was at school - in fact, she didn’t actually know what the criteria was, even Nina wouldn’t give her a clear answer.

Once back at the table, both Scarlet and A’keria opened their cards first, both earning an impressive A-. “I told you they grade on a curve,” Scarlet laughed. “Open yours, Brookie, you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“She’s just trying to be humble,” Yvie chimed in.

“It’s not like that, I swear,” Brooke insisted, cheeks tinting red. “I just don’t know how this shit works, okay?” But she did give in and opened the envelope and, without turning the page, simply said “Okay, it’s fine, let’s move on.”

“Nah, lemme see, boo.” Vanessa snatched the paper from her before the blonde had a chance to object. “Shit, Yvie was right, you just trying to spare our feelings or whatever.” She laughed, then clarified to the others, “A perfect score, no fucking surprise,” but then her expression changed and her demeanor quieted. “What, uh, happens if we don’t pass?”

Brooke Lynn shook her head and wrapped an arm around her. “You don’t even need to worry about that,” she assured, “you only need a C to pass. You can get a C, right?”

“I got 34 of ‘em, but then I take my bra off,” she couldn’t get any more of her concerns out before last names I through P were called and she had to march to her fate in a walk that seemed to take forever, and receiving the envelope only sent her heart racing into overdrive.

And she wasn’t feeling any relief by the time she returned to her seat, setting the envelope on the table in front of her and just staring at it. It almost seemed to mock her with its completely unassuming form.

“It’s not gonna go away just because you ain’t touching it,” A’keria pointed out.

Perhaps more reassuringly, Brooke kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly. “You got this, I know you do.”

Vanessa whined softly and hid against Brooke for another moment before finally accepting the inevitable. She stared at the page in unmoving silence for a beat, chewing on her lip.

“Well?”

Everyone’s eyes were trained on Vanessa, curiosity - and possibly concern - building as they watched her sit like a statue.

Then, with a sudden burst of emotion, she popped up with wide eyes. “I got a B!” she shrieked. With her voice loud and distinct by default, it was almost unsurprising that someone from another part of the hall shouted “Congrats, Vanessa!” in response.

But it didn’t even register to Vanessa. She had immediately thrown her arms around Brooke and hugged her close. Whether she would admit it or not, she was pretty sure she would not have achieved the same level of success without someone like Brooke, who knew how to study, what teachers wanted to hear, it was like having a set of cheat codes to education.

“Guess it’s really all over now, huh? Kinda wish they gave us yearbooks to sign or some shit,” A’keria mused when the excitement had died down. “What’s gonna happen with you two?” she gestured between Brooke Lynn and Vanessa.

The two girls untangled from each other and sat upright. “We’re still working out the details,” Brooke explained, rubbing the back of her neck. “But we’re optimistic.”

Optimism was all they had as everything was coming to an end. While they hadn’t officially labeled their relationship, they were optimistic that they could continue to have one. It would be complicated, it’d take effort, and they were both bound to face social repercussions one way or another. But they were optimistic it would be worth it.

And that was one of the many reasons they allowed themselves to relax and enjoy the end-of-summer celebration.

It was nothing extravagant – mainly pizza and snacks with music that consisted of an iPhone hooked up to a speaker. Still, it was a sign of good will and the teachers had organized it. Well, Nina and Monét did the vast majority of the work, but everyone else signed off on it.

“You know, I’m going to miss our lesbian den mothers,” Yvie remarked, glancing over at the two teachers who were watching the party with proud grins and linked arms. “I still can’t believe you guys hooked the two of them up.”

“Shit, me neither,” Brooke Lynn chuckled. There was no doubt that she would be bringing it up regularly once they were back at school.

“You’re lucky you get to see Ms. West at school, I don’t think anyone else has someone like that back home.”

She smiled fondly, even if the statement was bittersweet. “You’re right,” it was one of the few times she would admit as much. “Don’t know if I’d have gotten through this without her,” her gaze shifted to scan the scattering of girls dancing and mingling before settling. “Don’t know if I’d have gotten her.”

She swore there was something almost ethereal about Vanessa. The way the sun bounced off her skin, the way her wavy hair flowed, the way she could stand both elegantly but bursting with energy - she was special, and it made her feel at ease to know she wasn’t losing her.

“Here we go again," Yvie chuckled. "You really fell hook, line, and sinker for that crazy bitch, huh?” she asked, amused.

“Couldn’t have stopped myself if I tried.” Which she had, at least at first.

Not a minute later, Vanessa abandoned her conversation with A’keria and made her way over to Brooke’s side - the place she found most comfortable.

Brooke’s arm looped right around her. “Hey, Mami,” she hummed and leaned down to peck her lips.

“Imma steal you for a minute,” Vanessa took her hand and led her down the familiar trail, and they kept going until the generic pop music faded into the background.

At this point, it was no surprise to Brooke that they were back at the lake. But they had never caught a sunset quite like the one they approached. The sky was a near perfect gradient of warm colors, as if it were a scene on a postcard. It was almost too perfect, too picturesque to be real.

“I’m gonna miss this spot. Makes me want to get a cute little lake house, so we can have a view like this every day,” Brooke mused as she sat down.

Vanessa joined her, laying on her back and looking up at the sky. “Thought we was taking it slow. You already thinking about playing house?”

“What even is taking it slow for us? Our relationship doesn’t exactly make the best linear narrative sense.” Brooke laid down and held her hand. “Besides, it never hurts to dream.”

“Guess not.” She scooted closer, snuggling up to the taller girl’s side. “It is a real nice sight though. Like, I actually just wanna lay with you and enjoy it; we don’t even gotta fuck.”

Brooke snorted softly. “You don’t have to justify just wanting to cuddle, you know.”

“Yah-huh! I still got an image to uphold!”

“Okay, okay.” She held her close and kissed her cheek. “It’s just between you, me, and the lake.”

------

The next morning was pick-up day and Brooke Lynn was sat on a tree stump with Vanessa on her lap, their respective luggage on either side of it. The difference between their bags looked like a comically obvious representation of their different backgrounds – Brooke had a pristine designer set and Vanessa had a couple of beat up, hand-me-down duffel bags. It could have been the cover of a ‘princess and the pauper’ type of movie, easily.

“Who’re you waiting for, again?”

Brooke presses her lips into a fine line. She had hoped that maybe her parents would be the ones to come get her, just this once. “They’re sending a driver. His name’s Frank. Nice guy, worked for our family for like… fifteen years now.” As she spoke, she could see a Mercedes pull up and there was no guesswork needed as to whose ride it was.

She got up and gathered her things, making her way over with Vanessa in tow. “You sure your mom’s okay with this?”

“Uh-huh! Not every day you get a lift in a car that costs more than your apartment and all the fancy shit you got.” Vanessa chuckled, then offered a cheerful greeting when they approached the driver.

Frank looked between the girls with a perplexed – and somewhat amused – expression. “And who’s this, Miss Brooke?”

Brooke took Vanessa’s hand into her own, giving it a light squeeze. “This is Vanessa, my girlfriend. She’s going to spend the rest of the summer with us.”

The man quirked his brow, but began loading both of their bags into the trunk. “And your parents are okay with this… arrangement?” He wasn’t one to question Brooke – she was a pretty easygoing client as far as they go, but it was still the grown Hytes that signed his paychecks.

Brooke shrugged as she got in the car and ushered Vanessa (who was still floating on the high of hearing the word ‘girlfriend’) with her. “They’ll get over it.”

#branjie #branjie fic #rpdr rpf

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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game of survival, chapter nine (branjie) - holtzmanns

Summary: Brooke reaches for the coat rack behind her and pulls off a bucket hat that can only be described as memorable. It glows a fluorescent green, pink text across the front designating the hat wearer as a ‘#1 Dad’.

It’s hideous. Vanessa loves it. She can’t help but grab for the hat with a wicked grin, impulse control of a 3 year old toddler shining through. “Gimme that.”

The bucket hat is so big that it falls over her eyes, leaving her gazing at obnoxiously neon fabric. She puts her hands on her hips with a flair, leans slightly to the side. “Thoughts? Would you consider me to be a ‘number one dad’?”

Brooke’s peal of laughter makes her grin, too, and look up at the other woman when she snatches the hat from Vanessa’s head. “Parent of the year. Though I don’t think that hat’s going to help much with any efforts to go incognito.”

AN: Tw in this chapter for mentions of guns and violence. Thank you writ and bean for betaing and for providing A+ commentary while doing so (favourite one: ‘BROOKE IS A SWORD LESBIAN’).

“You got disguises or anything for our little jaunt?”

Brooke lets out a snort at Vanessa’s question. “What do I look like, a spy?”

“Don’t you have to be able to sneak around and shit as a hitwoman?” Hitwoman. Brooke, smiling in front of her, braiding her long blonde hair into a plait out of her face, a hitwoman.

It’s hard to reconcile the two versions of Brooke in her head, sometimes. The cold killer who had slaughtered men in front of Vanessa on her apartment floor, versus the woman with a twinkle in her eyes who peppered kisses all over Vanessa’s face to make her laugh this morning.

“I’m usually pretty good at going undetected.” Brooke says it with an air of pride, satisfaction in her voice as she pulls on her jacket. “Blending into the background when I need to.”

“Hey, don’t think I’ve forgotten that one time I fuckin’ saw you on the street and you ran away from my ass so fast-”

“Ugh.” Brooke covers her face in her hands. “Don’t even start.”

Vanessa tries to move Brooke’s hands away, smirking when Brooke makes a face. “‘Undetected’, my ass.”

Vanessa’s laugh turns into a screech when Brooke brings her hands down, tickles her sides. “No playing dirty, you cheat.”

Bringing up the rather insane way that they interacted with each other the first few times is the type of dark humour that Vanessa finds she really fucking enjoys. How else are they supposed to deal, anyway?

Brooke reaches for the coat rack behind her and pulls off a bucket hat that can only be described as memorable. It glows a fluorescent green, pink text across the front designating the hat wearer as a ’#1 Dad’.

It’s hideous. Vanessa loves it. She can’t help but grab for the hat with a wicked grin, impulse control of a 3 year old toddler shining through. “Gimme that.”

Vanessa gives her a fake pout (and if she notices the way Brooke’s eyes soften, she says nothing, no ma’am). “If you say so, master of all spies.”

“C’mon, you.” Brooke tugs on her arm, pulling her out the door and outside for the first time in days. “Time for us to venture back out into the world.”

The vibrant trees that surround the cabin look like they’re straight out of a Disney movie. It’s a contrast from the night that they got here, when the shadows and fog had cast grey tones over everything, making the forest seem haunted and untouched by anyone before them. Now, sunlight streams in between the leaves, and birds chirp at each other high up in the branches. Vanessa swears she sees a butterfly float by. It feels deceiving, though. An aura of calm that’s hiding something much more sinister.

Perhaps it’s what makes her squeeze Brooke’s hand extra tight during the ten steps or so to the SUV, glance around the surrounding forest looking for signs of movement, of anyone hidden. It may be early in the afternoon, but she’s allowed to worry about who might be lurking, waiting to take her out.

It’s fine.

Brooke gives her hand a reassuring squeeze in response, so that’s something.

The sunlight makes her squint and wish that she had her sunglasses. Maybe she can pick up a cheap pair during their grocery run.

Brooke tugs her to the back of the SUV and pops open the trunk. The sight makes Vanessa’s eyes widen as she lets out a low whistle.

Weapons. Tons of them. Long cases that Vanessa can only assume carry rifles arranged neatly to one side, a variety of pistols beside them. A bunch of complex looking equipment on the other side that Vanessa would have no idea what to do with were they ever to be in her hands. Knives lining the side wall. And is that-

“A sword?”

“What? Oh. Not a real sword. From an old Halloween costume, actually.” Brooke shrugs, upturn of her lip. “Figured it would help add some dramatic flair.”

“Of course you did.” As if a trunk full of already lethal weapons wasn’t quite enough.

Vanessa reaches a hand out tentatively, brushes it over some of the equipment. “How the hell do you even choose what to use?”

Brooke’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as if no one’s asked her that question before. Considering her field, no one’s probably stayed alive long enough around her when she’s on the job to do so.

“Well.” Brooke reaches for one of the long cases, unzips it at the corner and shifts over so that Vanessa can peek inside. A sniper rifle indeed, looking straight out of a military base. “These are better for long range shots. Ones that are too risky to pull off up close, where you’re more likely to get caught and instead still have a chance of making the shot from further away.”

Her fingers brush the sleek barrel of the rifle. “A personal favourite.”

Brooke has a favourite gun. Goddamn.

If Brooke sees the slight ‘o’ forming on Vanessa’s lips she ignores it, instead gesturing to the handguns. “These are for closer range. Different ones work depending on the expected distance, loudness, accuracy, and recoil for a given job.”

She tries to picture Brooke with a handgun, and her brain can only conjure up an image of cop Brooke with a police-issued firearm. It’s kinda hot.

Brooke then shifts her attention to the pile of equipment beside the handguns. “Laser rangefinder, binoculars, some scopes, and stockpiles of extra ammunition.”

Vanessa has no idea what half of the items that Brooke points to are even for, but her eyes are too busy darting over the contents of the trunk to ask.

“Anyway. Solid career path. Would recommend to any young professional.” Brooke’s dry humour makes Vanessa bark out a laugh.

“The wildest show and tell I’ve ever fucking seen.” She pauses. “Can I keep one on me when we head out?”

The thought has been running through her mind the entire time that Brooke’s been showing her the trunk. It’s not because she wants to feel like a badass with a gun (okay, partially) but she wants to be…safer. Right now, as heart flips over in her chest while she feels like there’s a target painted on her back, she wants all the protection she can get. She needs it.

Brooke’s head whips up sharply, eyes piercing. “Why?”

“I know how to handle a gun, I have one. Remember?” She does, at home. Something Brooke should remember better than anyone else, after taking it from her that night in the alley and delivering it to her office the next morning. It feels as if ages have passed since that time, not mere weeks.

“That’s not a reason.”

Vanessa huffs. Brooke’s right, but still. Saying it out loud feels so…stupid. “I just wanna feel safer, that’s all.”

“Will it make you feel safer?” Brooke’s gaze at her is unreadable.

“Something to defend myself with? Honestly yeah, it will.” She can’t help that she wants every safety mechanism in place possible.

“Have you ever used yours? Actually used it?” The question sounds like a challenge, but Brooke’s voice is soft when she asks it.

Still, it doesn’t stop Vanessa from bristling. “At a shooting range when I got my license. Why does it matter?”

“It’s one thing to hold it, possess one. Another feeling entirely once you pull the trigger out of that setting. It takes a toll, Ness.” Vanessa’s eyebrows raise at the nickname. Brooke doesn’t seem to realize that she’s even said it, continuing on. “You don’t realize the gravity of it until someone is bleeding out on the ground, and it’s because of you.”

Vanessa shivers, remembering the way that Brooke had killed the two men in her apartment, the hardness in her eyes. The lack of remorse. A sharp contrast from what she’s describing right now.

Brooke seems to read her mind, lets out a bitter laugh. “Until you get desensitized to it, and seeing dead bodies does nothing to you anymore. Not a good place to be, either.”

Brooke bites a lip then, eyes flitting between her and the handguns in the trunk. “Though an extra layer of protection may not be a bad idea. Just in case.”

She grabs for a small pistol, silver and sleek and light in Vanessa’s hands when Brooke passes it to her. It’s smaller than her own at home, but the weight feels familiar when she holds it up, sees it glint in the sunlight.

“Just…” Brooke trails off, and Vanessa can see the gears turning in her brain as she tries to figure out how to phrase her next statement. “Don’t aim for the head, or the upper torso, okay? If it comes down to it. Not that I’ll let it. But still. Go for less lethal areas if you absolutely have to, a shoulder or a leg, hell, even the junk. Enough to stop a person but not enough to kill them. You don’t want something like that on your conscience.”

“Good enough for me.” She’d rather not kill anyone either, thank you very much.

“Besides,” Brooke’s eyes are lighter now, a small smile on her face, “Wouldn’t that be a public scandal for your campaign.”

“God. Imagine trying to explain that. ” What a press conference Ra’jah would have for that one.

“He ran into my bullets. He ran into my bullets, ten times.” Brooke winks at her.

Vanessa can’t hold back a noise of delight, nudging Brooke with her elbow. “Not a Chicago reference.”

Brooke helps Vanessa check the safety on the gun, gives her a holster so that she can tuck the gun inside her jacket. The weight feels grounding, pulling her down.

They’re just going to the grocery store, for crying out loud. Not on some sort of mission. And yet, she doesn’t want to have to take it off later. Is she ever going to feel completely safe again, in her life?

Brooke reaches up to close the trunk, and Vanessa spares one final look at all of the weapons that are so neatly organized.

She pauses on her words when the question inevitably floats into her mind, one that she’s not sure if she should ask. She’s surprised it’s taken so long to pop up, really. “What…what were you going to use on me?”

Was it a sniper rifle? One of the smaller handguns?

Would Vanessa have seen it coming?

Brooke chokes slightly, turns it into a convincing cough. She avoids eye contact with her, hand running through her hair. “That - well-”

Vanessa takes pity on her. “I’m messing with you, Mami. I know it was the sword.”

The out that she gives her makes Brooke scoff out a laugh, though Vanessa can see her shoulders visibly relax. “You got me.”

Maybe Vanessa doesn’t want to know.

Nonetheless, she wonders if a death by Brooke’s hand would have felt like a reckoning.

Brooke rifles around in the glovebox once they get into the front seats of the SUV, muttering under her breath until she finds what she’s looking for. “Want these?”

She’s holding out a pair of sunglasses, black and square rimmed. “You were squinting, earlier.”

Vanessa takes them with a growing flush on her face over the fact that Brooke had even noticed. She slips them on, and Brooke gives her an appreciative once-over.

“They suit you. Keep them.”

Again. A cold killer who is simultaneously one of the most thoughtful people that Vanessa has grown to know. What a juxtaposition she is.

The first time that they had bought food was on their journey to the cabin after escaping from Vanessa’s apartment. Neither of them had really spoken in the supermarket that they had stopped at a couple of hours into their drive, picking up items as fast as they could and keeping their heads down so that they could get back on the road. Vanessa had been on the verge of a heart attack.

This time is different. Brooke isn’t a terrifying, confusing concept to her anymore, not someone who’s just killed two people without blinking an eye. Instead, Vanessa looks at her and sees a woman who has a strange affection for nectarines (‘We gotta get some, I love them’) and enjoys debating over the right type of bread to buy.

Sure, Vanessa is still scared. Scared of whatever the fuck’s going to happen, of the people still looking for her. But she’s not scared of Brooke anymore, compared to last time.

It makes all the difference.

They leave the store with their arms laden in shopping bags, covering the weapons in the trunk of the SUV with the groceries. Vanessa grabs a bag of trail mix and brings it with her to the front, putting it in between her and Brooke so that they can snack on the drive back.

“Remind me to call Yvie for updates once we get back.” Brooke drives with one hand as she reaches into the bag of trail mix. “I feel like we’re missing something.”

“Yeah?” Vanessa looks up at her, answer muffled as she chews. “Like what?”

“That’s just it - I don’t know. I feel like we should have had a few more leads by now. Gotten a bit closer to figuring out who else is coming after you.”

It makes sense. God, she wishes she knew, so she could take them down first. She hates feeling like a moving target that’s being hunted for sport.

“I can call Silky too, see how the team’s doing.” Vanessa takes another handful of trailmix, thinking back to their last conversation over a burner phone the night before. “I know they were thinking about running some political attacks on the congressman that hired you, though they haven’t done anything yet. Not sure if it would even be a good idea to provoke him more, honestly. Though we can’t just go and expose him instead, either.”

“Why not?” Brooke looks at her with a genuine curiosity that would crack her up if she couldn’t tell that Brooke was being completely serious. Has she truly not realized?

“Brooke. If we exposed him, it would expose you. Cause he hired you. Specifically to kill me.” Vanessa watches as understanding dawns on Brooke’s face, her eyes widening.

“Right. Forgot about that.” Brooke’s voice is uncharacteristically small as she bites her lip. “I mean, considering the amount of people I’ve gotten rid of-”

Vanessa cuts her off. “Don’t even start. Not an option.” It’s not. There’s no way she wants anything to happen to Brooke, even if would take the congressman out of the picture. Who knows how many years she could go away for if all of her hits are exposed?

She can’t lose Brooke - she just can’t. Not when she just got her in her life, this wonderful strange woman whom she wants to keep around after this is all over, know every part of.

“It’s not like I don’t deserve it.” Brooke’s laugh is humourless. “But, okay. For now. Though we’re keeping that option there, if push comes to shove.”

“We’re not going to even touch it. We’ll figure something out together, okay? Where we’re both fine and get through this in one piece and also alive.”

Vanessa holds her hand out and Brooke doesn’t hesitate to entangle her fingers with hers. Her grip is tight and Vanessa gives it a squeeze in reassurance, rubs her thumb over the outside. Brooke looks away from the road for a second towards her, and Vanessa gives her a small smile. She wants to reach and smooth out the worried crease between her eyebrows.

There has to be some way that it can work out.

Brooke parks the SUV when the cabin is still at least a hundred meters or so away from them, small like a doll’s house. Vanessa looks at her in question. “Why’d you stop so far?”

“Figured it would be better to approach the cabin on foot, at least have an element of stealth if needed.” Brooke looks at Vanessa’s face, which is no doubt displaying the look of alarm that she’s feeling inside. “Not that we necessarily need it. Just in case. Better to do the ambushing than to be ambushed, y’know?”

Nonetheless, the uneasy feeling in Vanessa’s chest ruminates, grows. What if someone really is waiting for them there? It’s strange to think about, after the cabin has been their safe house for the last several days. The fact that leaving it has made it potentially dangerous is unsettling, their one safe place no longer a sanctuary.

“It has the same amount of danger as it does when we’re staying there.” Brooke’s hand is soothing hers now, tracing her palm. “Nothing’s changed. Just like to be careful, that’s all. Keep us both safe.”

Fair enough. Better to be vigilant at all times than to let their guards down at the wrong moment. She can accept that.

“That makes sense.” Her hand goes to open the door. “Shall we start hauling these groceries in, or what?”

Brooke reaches out a hand to stop her. “Let me go in first, scope it out. Just to be sure, before calling you in.”

Brooke isn’t her security guard, though she sure is doing better than anyone that Vanessa’s team has hired in the past. Vanessa shrugs, leans back against her seat. “If you say so.”

Brooke leans over and kisses her forehead before getting out of the SUV. Vanessa watches as she opens the trunk, grabs a few grocery bags to bring along with her. Efficient.

She watches through the window as Brooke disappears inside the cabin, swinging the door closed. She feels sweat rolling down her neck, the afternoon sun turning the car into a greenhouse. She fans herself, and props open the car door when her hand motions don’t do much to alleviate the heat.

Time feels as if it’s passing excruciatingly slowly, waiting for Brooke to come back. It hasn’t been more than a minute or two from the way that the second hand ticks along on her watch, but it feels like hours, like being apart from Brooke this long stretches out time somehow.

How long is it taking for the bitch to put some of the fruit in the fridge?

Vanessa starts counting in her head to make the time pass faster. It’s only when she reaches 357 seconds when little tendrils of doubt begin to creep in, take over the focus in her brain. It’s been a little too long, she’s waited a little too much. Sure, she’s impatient, a little dramatic at times, but she also knows Brooke.

Brooke should be here by now.

The thought hits her like a train, makes her stomach roll. Was there really someone waiting for them, for Brooke, in the cabin?

She needs to get there now.

Her hand brushes over the holster on her waist, grabbing for the gun. Her grip is shaky as she creeps closer and closer, every step towards the cabin making the blood pump in her ears just a little bit louder.

The door in front of her is closed, but unlocked. She presses her ear to it, tries to listen for any sound on the other side of the wall, inside the cabin. Nothing.

She heaves it open, winces at the loudness of the creak that follows.

“Brooke?”

She’s barely around the door when she hears-

“Vanessa, no!”

Brooke. On her knees, hands in the air, guns pointed at her head. Men that Vanessa’s never seen before, swivelling around wildly to face her.

She freezes. Sees Brooke’s eyes wide, her mouth wordlessly pleading her to run.

When Vanessa hears one of the men with a gun still pointed at Brooke click off the safety of his weapon, she does just that. Just not in the direction that Brooke wants her to go.

Vanessa ducks from a pair of hands attempting to grab her, hurls herself towards Brooke. Pushes her down, body on top of hers. The boom registers in her ears a second too late, makes her ears ring as she shields her body.

“Brooke? Brooke.”

Red on her hands. A gasping breath from Brooke, the wisps of her braid framing her face as she looks up at Vanessa.

Sirens in the background. Vanessa barely hears them because no, no, no, she’s not hurt so it’s not her blood and there’s a stain spreading on Brooke’s shirt and-

Yelling, as the men run out the door, footsteps thudding on the ground when the sirens get louder. A relieved sigh from Brooke’s lips as her glassy eyes search Vanessa’s, registers that she’s okay, before they close.

No, no, no-

The words that leave Brooke’s lips are soft, barely heard under the yelling of “Police!”

“Thank God.”

No.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #lesbian au #game of survival #holtzmanns #tw guns #tw blood #submission

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f4liveblogarchives · 5 years ago

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #133

Fri Jul 26 2019 [11:31 PM] Wack'd: Anyway it's all guests this month as writer Gerry Conway and penciler Ramona Fradon step in for Thomas and Buscema [11:32 PM] Wack'd: Fradon is the first-ever lady Fantastic Four artist I'm pretty sure. And she'll hold the distinction of only female Fantastic Four artist for a stupid long time [11:32 PM] Wack'd: So, uh, enjoy her one issue while it lasts [11:32 PM] Aleph Null: how many years of timeline drift will it be before johnny was a fortnite teen [11:33 PM] Wack'd: Uh...probably another fifteen [11:33 PM] Aleph Null: franklin will never have the chance to be a fortnite teen F [11:34 PM] Wack'd: At least waitingforthet's prediction that Dani Cage would lap him didn't come true! [11:34 PM] Wack'd: Anyway [11:35 PM] Wack'd: Happy 1973! Have some depression

[11:36 PM] Wack'd: It's actually been 1973 for like four months now but other stuff was happening, just let them have this [11:36 PM] Aleph Null: isn’t “have some depression” always a new years mood [11:36 PM] maxwellelvis: I'm sure it was New Year's time when they first wrote this issue. [11:37 PM] Wack'd: i love these two so much

[11:37 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny's depressed about Crystal, Reed's depressed about Sue and Franklin, Ben's always depressed, and Alicia's sad for them, I take it Medusa's still shaken about the whole Omega thing? [11:37 PM] Bocaj: Scare quotes [11:38 PM] Wack'd: For all your reaction needs

[11:39 PM] Umbramatic: thanks for the exploitable! [11:39 PM] Wack'd: Reed: Don't try to cheer me up. [11:39 PM] Wack'd: Medusa: Okay, I won't. You're being an immature child and need to get over yourself. [11:40 PM] Umbramatic: vkj;gfbaajgftl'gbvg'snwhb [11:41 PM] Wack'd: 🎶You don't know you're beaut~i~ful🎵

[11:43 PM] Wack'd: 🎵 Broken glass / Is glittering like diamonds / Can't hear yourself / Thinking over the sirens! / Push back the hands of tiiiiiime 🎶

[11:44 PM] maxwellelvis: Thundra, there's gotta be an easier way to get a guy's attention. [11:44 PM] maxwellelvis: Maybe show up with Abomination around your arms or something, eh? [11:45 PM] Wack'd: If Ben wins, it'll be a rare sight--the home team winning on the Mets' turf!

[11:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Zing [11:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Hey, you think if the fight goes badly, he can tag in Mr. Met? [11:47 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny decides to go deal with Thundra and I love this idle background detail of ladies being into Johnny. It serves no narrative purpose besides going "hey, Johnny's hot and women like seeing him undress"

[11:48 PM] Wack'd: Usually, when Johnny has oglers it's a plot point--he's too depressed or busy to give them any mind and the fact that they're so preoccupied with him is played as a joke at their expense [11:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Or they're there to make Spider-Man jealous [11:49 PM] Wack'd: So this is kinda nice. Just letting it happen without it being a Thing [11:49 PM] Wack'd: ...I really can't capitalize that word in this context, can I [11:51 PM] Wack'd: A thing with Thundra so far has been that people keep assuming she's going to use a weapon for blunt force, only for her to prove she's a tactical thinker

[11:51 PM] Wack'd: (Or, at least, it's happened twice) [11:51 PM] Wack'd: I dig the contrast between her overwrought warrior-speak and her, like, actual material intelligence? It's a neat bit of character building [11:51 PM] maxwellelvis: She is seemingly based on Wonder Woman, I'd be disappointed if she didn't fight with her brains. [11:52 PM] Wack'd: I'll admit it, I laughed

[11:53 PM] maxwellelvis: I noticed Medusa doesn't take her mask of even for a night in Time's Square [11:54 PM] maxwellelvis: Nor does she ditch her primary color [11:54 PM] Wack'd: She doesn't! I mean, if you think about it, back home those are just her street clothes [11:54 PM] Wack'd: "They're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future." [11:55 PM] Wack'd: Thundra if you wanna keep up your "applying male stereotypes to women and women stereotypes to men" shtick you really shoulda abducted Reed or Johnny

[11:55 PM] Wack'd: This is disappointingly straightforward of you [11:56 PM] Wack'd: Then again, Alicia is the only one in the party without superpowers. Necessity is the mother of shtick-breaking, I suppose [11:56 PM] Wack'd: Sorry, father [11:56 PM] Umbramatic: i continue to appreciate how much ben looks like a Muppet [11:57 PM] Wack'd: He's definitely got kind of a Henson thing going on around the mouth [11:57 PM] maxwellelvis: I'd kill for a Ben Grimm designed by the Creature Shop, honestly. [11:58 PM] maxwellelvis: Carl Ciarfalo's Thing suit could have been, were that movie not just a cheap way to maintain Roger Corman's hold on the property rights [12:00 AM] maxwellelvis: Speaking of which, how sad is it that that's pretty much still the best Fantastic Four movie? [12:00 AM] Wack'd: Ben's physiology continues to astound me

[12:00 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh hey, now I got a better look at Johnny's new duds, I remembered where I've seen them before [12:01 AM] Wack'd: They're patterned off the original Robot Human Torch [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: They're eventually going to be worn by Jim Hammond, yeah [12:01 AM] Wack'd: It has been pointed out [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: When he joins the Future Foundation. [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: and I take it he wore a similar getup when he was fighting the Nazis. [12:03 AM] Wack'd: It's weird that the city government is just cool with this lady not only setting up a wrestling match in a major metropolitan landmark but thousands of people turning up to watch. Is Shea selling *tickets* to this?

[12:04 AM] Wack'd: I think this might be my favorite full page spread so far

[12:04 AM] maxwellelvis: Hey, a show is a show [12:05 AM] maxwellelvis: Are you also just hearing Kimberly Brooks's voice with Thundra's dialogue? [12:07 AM] Wack'd: I'm really getting more of a Sharon Lawrence? [12:07 AM] Wack'd: Maxima from Superman: The Animated Series [12:07 AM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [12:09 AM] Wack'd:

[12:11 AM] Wack'd: “In retrospect, ‘uh-huh’ doesn’t seem nearly profane enough.” [12:11 AM] Wack'd: 🎵 All alone at the 64 World's Fair / Twenty dolls singing "small world after all" / Who was at the DuPont Pavilion? / Why was the bench still warm? Who had been there? 🎶

[12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: "I love paying to see a match on a TV!" -- Nobody in the crowd [12:12 AM] Wack'd: You joke, but we do get a reaction shot of someone complaining he paid 10 bucks for these seats [12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: And somewhere a young Vince McMahon takes notes. [12:13 AM] maxwellelvis: If I were in one of the seats without a good view of the backboard, right about now's when I'd be starting up a "Can't See Shit! Can't See Shit!" chant [12:13 AM] Wack'd: So Ben basically gets his ass handed to him but refuses to tap out [12:14 AM] maxwellelvis: This sounds familiar. [12:14 AM] Wack'd: Reed manages to fire a beam that'll turn Ben human enough *juuuuust* long enough for Thundra to feel cheated and piss off [12:14 AM] maxwellelvis: Way to solve this problem in the worst way possible, Stretcho [12:16 AM] Wack'd: And so the issue ends with Thundra releasing Alicia and the remaining Frightful Four commiserating that their brilliant "kill Ben and Thundra at the same time by blowing up Shea Stadium" plan was a bust [12:20 AM] Wack'd: That was a fun issue! I thoroughly enjoyed it

#1973 #Roy Thomas #(story only)#Gerry Conway #Ramona Fradon #The Main Book

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lovinglohst · 6 years ago

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I Wanna Dance With Somebody: Chapter 1- The Shittiest Night Of Our Lives

Story Pairings: Boyf riends, Pinkberry, RichJake

Chapter Characters: Michael Mells, Brooke Lohst, Jeremy Heere

Chapter Warnings: Panic Attack (think that's it)

Summary: On the night of the Halloween Party, Michael is about halfway through having his infamous panic attack when Brooke comes tumbling into the bathroom, in the middle of her very own teenage angst. Michael lets her stay and the two sit in the bathtub and bond over their anger at their friends/super-mega-crushes. That’s when they get the idea to start fake dating to both get back at Jeremy and Chloe and win them over. Chaos, bonding, and gay ensue.

Authors’ Note: So we got this idea for a BMC fic and decided why not. To be absolutely clear- Michael and Brooke are not endgame. They’re just cute, platonic chaos gays. Enjoy! - Aly and Nik

AO3 Link

“He went crazy trying to get it out !”

The air in the bathroom turned ice cold. Michael could feel his heart beating in his chest rapidly as if he’d drank one can too many of Red Bull. It was hard for him to believe that the boy standing in front of him was the same boy who’d been his best friend since pre-school. Because the Jeremy Heere before him was almost unrecognizable.

“Then I have nothing to worry about. Why would I want that?” The words cut into him, and Michael could feel small cracks forming in his heart. Jeremy looked away from him, jaw set as he moved for the door. Michael moved with him, refusing to let this go. Jeremy was going to end up hurt if he didn’t do something. He just had to make him listen . “Move.”

“Or you’ll what?”

“Get out of my way. Loser. ” Michael stared directly into those blue eyes. They were as cold as ice, glaring into Michael’s like he was a bug under his shoe. His chest felt heavy, his heart beginning to ache as it tried to jump from his chest. Holding back thick tears, he moved out of Jeremy’s way silently. The boy brushed past him, purposefully knocking Michael’s shoulder with his own as he left Michael behind. He didn’t even glance back, slamming the door shut. Michael flinched at the sound, letting out a shaky breath. His entire body felt numb as he stared at the wall blankly. He couldn’t think, couldn’t see, hecouldn’tbreathe- whycouldn’thebreathe-

“Hello?!” A sharp knock cut through the air, pulling Michael from his daze. “Some of us have to pee!”

“I’m having my period!” He called weakly, wanting to slam his face into the wall. Idiot, absolutefuckingidiot .

“...Take your time honey.” The voice answered gently, and Michael let out another ragged breath. He needed to sit down. His legs could barely hold him upright, his knees like jelly. He felt around blindly, his hand curling around the cool, porcelain of the bathtub. He guided himself into it, breath coming in short, rapid gasps.

He felt pathetic -he was pathetic- sitting here all by himself. He was in a fucking bathroom at the biggest party of the year, while Jeremy was out there having the time of his life. He’d probably found someone new to hang out with, someone to replace Michael. Like he was some broken toy.

The thought made him begin to shake uncontrollably, his vision narrowing till all he saw was the smooth bottom of the tub, his ears filled with the loud thumping of his still racing heart and some girl singing to a Whitney Houston song outside the door. The type of girl he and Jeremy would usually make fun of…

Michael pulled his knees to his chest, burrowing his head in between them. He was going to be sick, he just knew it. Everything was so loud, tooloud- ohgoditwastooloudmakeitstopplease-

A sudden, high-pitched shriek made him jump, head snapping up to see-

Oh, you had to be fucking kidding me right now …

Standing in front of him was Brooke Lohst, in all her glory. She was wearing the skimpiest dog costume he’d ever laid eyes on, with almost everything on display. It was everything a teenage boy could’ve wanted. Except for him. Everything he’d ever wanted had just told him he was a loser and then left him without a second glance.

“What are you doing in here?” Brooke questioned, her voice hollow and broken. It was only then that Michael realized that she was crying. Her usually flawless makeup was coming down her cheeks in streaks, face flushed a depressing shade of red as she stared at him with as much poise as a crying girl in a poodle costume could muster. He stared at her for a minute, trying to get his voice box to work.

“Having the shittiest night of my life.” He answered finally, resting his chin on top of his knees. Brooke slowly raised her hand, wiping at the makeup-stained tear marks on her cheeks.

“Same.” They sat there in silence for a moment, Michael silently debating what to do. Sure he kind of hated Brooke- not only because she was a bully but because she stole Jeremy from him- but she looked as shitty as he felt, which was concerning.

“Do you… do you wanna get in the tub with me?” He asked hesitantly, watching Brooke’s face twist in disgust. He quickly realized how that sounded, clearing his throat in embarrassment. “N-Not like that. Just-”

Groaning, he buried his face back in his knees. He wanted the Earth to just open up and swallow him whole, just to get out of this awkward situation. After a few moments, he heard Brooke’s slow footsteps coming closer. Lifting his head, he watched as she lowered herself into the opposite end of the tub carefully. She pulled her almost completely bare legs to her chest, the tags on the collar around her neck jingling quietly as she placed her chin on her knees in a position that mirrored his.

This was officially simultaneously the worst and weirdest night of his life.

“Am I ugly or something?” Brooke asked suddenly, making Michael pause. When he didn’t offer a reply, Brooke gazed directly into his eyes with fresh tears already forming. “No, seriously? Like, am I just hideous to look at?”

Michael’s mouth opened and closed quite a few time before he could force the ‘no’ from his throat. Looking dissatisfied, Brooke wiped at her cheek again.

“Then what is it about me that makes guys want to cheat on me? I don’t get what’s wrong with me.” Her voice broke, fresh tears beginning to fall again. “I try so hard, so fucking hard so that people will like me. I’m beautiful, I’m popular, I’m on the honor roll. But it doesn’t even matter, does it? All anyone is ever going to see me as is ‘Brooke Lohst, second best’. My own supposed ‘best friend’ doesn’t even respect me enough to not screw the guys I’m dating! And I just-”

Brooke let out an ugly sob, placing a hand over her eyes. Tears continue to slide between her fingertips, the small droplets plopping quietly on to the tub’s white floor.

“I’ve had a crush on my best friend for four years,” He admitted quietly, turning away when Brooke’s green eyes found his. “And tonight, he basically told me that I wasn’t good enough for him anymore. E-Even after all the things we’ve been through. Twelve years of him being my friend- my only friend- and he just throws it all away.”

Michael didn’t take his gaze off the sink, though he could feel Brooke watching him still.

“It’s definitely not the same thing, but it sucks just as much,” He let out a hollow laugh, tears coming down his face even quicker. “Pathetic, isn’t it?”

“Then I guess we’re both pretty pathetic.” She answered, and Michael finally turned to look at her. She gave him a sad smile, sticking out her ‘paw-glove’ clad hand. “Brooke Lohst.”

“Nice to meet you, Brooke,” He shook her hand, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips at the absurdity of the situation. He was in a bathtub, at a party with the second most popular girl at school. “I’m Michael Mell.”

“Nice to meet you, Michael.”

“I don’t get how this is supposed to help,” Brooke whined, stabbing her straw into her slushie. She looked completely ridiculous in a poodle costume, sat upon the hood of Michael’s shitty 2007 PT Cruiser and holding a bright blue slushie in the 7-11 parking lot at two o’clock in the morning. Michael sat beside her, slurping on his red one like it was the last one he’d ever have.

“The cold helps to freeze your heart so that you can’t feel any more pain.” Michael joked, shrugging sarcastically. Brooke giggled, taking a hesitant sip of the ice cold drink. “Good?”

“I like Pinkberry better,” She sighed, taking another long sip of the slushie. “But this is okay, for now.”

“Maybe tomorrow.” Michael hummed, fiddling with his straw. Music was coming from his headphone, the faded sound of Bob Marley helping to fill the comfortable silence between the two.

“Tomorrow?” Brooke questioned, turning to look at him.

“O-Oh, I just kinda assumed- I mean-” Brooke giggled at his flustered expression, nudging him with her arm.

“I would love to hang out with you tomorrow. Not like I have anywhere else to be…” She trailed off quietly, staring at the bright neon sign on the store in front of them for a long while. “Do you…”

“Do I…?”

“Do you think that stupid computer made him cheat on me?” She asked, sounding a little hopeful. It had taken a while to convince Brooke about the SQUIP, mostly because of how ridiculous it sounded, but she'd quickly come around at the slight chance that yet another boyfriend cheating on her hadn't actually been her fault. Michael glanced down at her, straw between his teeth.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. That fucking thing is making Jeremy act all kinds of weird.” Michael's leg began to bounce, sitting still becoming to constricting. “Whoever that person is… it’s not Jeremy. Jeremy- the Jeremy I know- is kind, and funny and smart. I mean, yeah, he’s a bit of a tool sometimes- but he cares . He cares so much.”

Brooke blinks at him owlishly.

“You’re so gay it’s not even funny,” Brooke said finally, and Michael couldn’t help the laugh the ripped its way from his throat. Brooke joined in, giggling furiously. And in that moment, they weren’t the school stoner and the second-hottest girl in school. They were just Michael and Brooke, two very gay (bi, in Brooke’s case), very lonely kids who had found someone who understood them just a bit better than everyone else.

“You know what we should do?” Brooke gazed at him mischievously, laughter still bubbling in her throat.

“What?” Michael asked teasingly.

“We should date, just to make them jealous.” Michael looked at her sideways, tilting his head in confusion.

“Brooke, you realize I’m strictly into dudes, right? Like you’re amazing, don’t get me wrong. But you kinda don’t have the right… parts for me.”

Rolling her eyes, the girl slid off the hood of the car, dramatically placing her hands on her hips.

“I know that, silly. I didn’t mean we should actually date .” Brooke wrinkled her nose on the word, her tone suggesting she found the whole idea revolting.

“Feeling really flattered here, Lohst.” He said dryly, slurping his drink.

“You know what I mean! I just mean that we should pretend. Make them think we’re dating. Show them how happy we are without them!” Michael considered her words, narrowing his eyes at her suspiciously.

“Do you really think that’ll work?” He asked, considering the girl. She had a determined fire glowing in her green eyes, smirking at him like a wolf closing in on its prey. It was… unsettling to say the least.

“It worked for Chloe and Jake last year. She fake-dated Dustin Kropp to make him jealous, and they got back together the next month. It’s totally fool-proof!”

Despite Brooke’s confidence, Michael couldn’t help but feel a nervous pit in his stomach. It didn’t sound as simple to him as it probably did to Brooke. She’d dated a bunch of guys (and a girl or two) before, but Michael had only ever loved and wanted one person. He wasn’t sure he could do it. Not with Jeremy probably watching his every move.

But why would he watch you? He asked himself, feeling cold. He’s made it very clear that he thinks you’re beneath him. So why not make him regret it?

Looking at Brooke’s expectant face, he nodded firmly.

“I’m in.” He proclaimed determinedly. Brooke squealed loudly, throwing her arms around his neck roughly. Michael paused for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Brooke’s small frame. It felt nice to be hugged like this- like she cared about him. It had been a while since he and Jeremy had done something like that, his heart clenching at the thought. He held onto Brooke tightly for a long while, before pulling back reluctantly.

“Oh, this is going to be so much fun!” She giggled, pulling back to smile at him brightly. She brandished her slushie at him proudly. “To our new relationship!”

Michael smirked a little, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

“To our new relationship.”

Chapter 2 --->

#be more chill #boyf riends #pinkberry #richjake #tw panic attack #be more chill musical #fake dating au #be more chill fanfic #angst and fluff #michael in the bathroom #bmc i wanna dance with someone

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steamishot · 4 years ago

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moody

i woke up with major back pains today, which never happens. i feel like an old fart. i think it’s because matt and i had an extremely lazy weekend where we stayed in and laid down the majority of the time to the point of breaking our backs lol. not necessarily my ideal weekend, but he had just gotten off a week of night shifts & needed to relax, and it’s cold outside.

my family celebrated lunar new year with me on facetime last week. lunar new year means way more to my family than any american holiday, so it kinda sucked to not be there with them. matt and i did our usual rounds in chinatown on saturday and this time, got to try the well known dim sum spot - jing fang. although it was good, LA hands down has superior asian food (or perhaps our taste is biased). i drank my favorite crack HK milk tea from yin ji chang fen yesterday and today. although i love the taste, its also highly caffeinated (seems moreso than my latte), and sends me into a moody spiral where i feel depressed and sad for no reason. i’m in that slump right now and my back pain isn’t helping.

i feel all sorts of weird - wanting to do everything and nothing at the same time. trying a bit of everything but not really excelling at anything. i tend to get to a point where i feel content because i’m too lazy too improve, or things get difficult. now that i recognize it, i’ll try to keep moving forward regardless and stay disciplined. all this while feeling so disconnected from the world and people in general.

coffee: my favorite bean that i’ve tried so far is stumptown’s ethiopian single source. we’ve finished that and stumptown’s hairbender (12 oz bags). i signed up for a coffee bean subscription from stumptown (roaster’s pick) and should be receiving my package soon. it’s been awesome getting to make lattes/espresso/americanos whenever i want. latte art hasn’t been easy, but i’ve learned that it’s okay not to use up all the milk that is frothed (even though it’s a waste).

running: matt got me NB running shoes for my birthday. the fit was a bit too small, so i went and exchanged it for brooks glycerins. it’s my go to shoes for the gym now. now that i’m vaccinated (although still a bit paranoid), there’s no reason for me not to run consistently at the gym. my friend B invited me to do a 50 mile month challenge which i have gladly accepted for march.

cooking: amex has been giving really awesome deals this year because traveling has come to a halt. one of the perks we received was $50 off $50 x3 for home chef meals. combined with the 50% off healthcare worker discount, we basically got 6 meals (12 servings) for free and will have about another 16 upcoming servings for free. i had thought about doing a subscription like this when i first moved here. the meals have been pretty good/healthy! normally when i cook, matt doesn’t know how to portion control and tends to overeat. now our meals are what one person is supposed to eat xD. although there’s a lot of plastic that goes to waste, i’m also glad that we get a variety of foods without having leftovers of ingredients. each meal was so easy to make, and took 30 min or less.

youtube: i was inspired to get a gimbal after my uncle showed me his. another amex perk is $50 off $50 from best buy. i used it to purchase the DJI OM 4 to make more videos with my phone. as of now, i have uploaded 9 videos. they’re nowhere near perfect and were edited on imovie LOL, but i’m slowly learning and uploading as i go to see my progress. the last video i made (spicy noodle challenge) was edited using adobe premiere pro. i enjoyed making it and watching it, but there’s still a long way to go.

valentines day: valentines didn’t seem very important to me this year as we’re already living together. however, i was envious when i saw traditional gestures of romance - i.e. guys holding flowers/balloons on the subway and romantic IG posts about valentines day. matt bought a red purse for me that i really wanted a few weeks ago and said it was my vday present. i thought it was super sweet at the time, but when i received it, i realized that i didn’t need the purse lol. matt never really bought in to consumerist holidays - to him, it’s only worth buying if the product is on sale/a good deal. now he’s changing to be more consumerist. and oddly enough, i’m becoming more like him where i’m starting to think spending money because you’re obligated to on a holiday is kinda silly.

portfolio: still a work in progress. still helping my dietitian friend out - this time increasing my prices. i’m such a procrastinator but will definitely need to add “applying to jobs” as a new habit!

relationship: sometimes it’s hard to isolate what exactly is causing moodiness or unhappiness. for example, after a week of nights shifts, matt became easily irritated AND sensitive. probably not the best tactic, but to reduce my own stress, i combat his aggression with my aggression. he hasn’t been doing the best academically and has failed several of his past exams. this shouldn’t be the case because he was on easier rotations and had no excuse not to study. however, most of the test takers “cheat” (google stuff while taking the exam); he was too tired to cheat this this past time and took an L. it’s been difficult knowing that i’m doing so much in our home life to free up time and energy for him - and he’s still not doing well sigh. my reddit friend showed me a video from SNL about “pelotaunt” where the trainer taunts you into working harder. positive reinforcement does NOT work for matt - so i’m trying to use similar taunting tactics instead hahaha

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assbuttyourlife · 7 years ago

Text

When We Were Young - Chapter Twenty one

Pairing : Misha/OFC

Warnings : Language, Fire, trauma, PTSD, family members death (including child), therapy, flashbacks (not in every chapter), injuries, cheating. Long fic. Angst, fluff, Smut. Mention of suicide.

Words : 7393

Summary : After her grandmother’s funeral, Lily must return to the place she lived in when she was young and has to confront the ghosts of her past. She will run into an old friend that she thought was lost forever.

WWWY Masterlist

AO3 link

Tags : @jhudawnareeves

CHAPTER 21 - TRUTH

Whatcom Falls Park was truly a wonderful place.

They could see the huge stone bridge above the main fall from the parking area, and Lily was already stunned.

“Doesn't it remind you of Brook Park?” Misha asked proudly.

“A bigger version, yes. Is that why you brought me here?”

Misha lolled his head “It crossed my mind. Let's go.”

Vicki interrupted “How about I go by the bridge with the kids and you go by the creek with Lily and we meet at the large meadow?”

It made Misha frown, sensing something was up.

“Noooo I wanna stay with Daddy and Lily!” West protested.

“Daddy hasn't seen Lily in a long time, baby, they need to talk alone. We'll meet them later, promise.” Vicki looked at Misha and nodded.

Lily felt bad to leave them like that, she really liked West but she also really needed to talk with Misha who had no clue what was going on and had a very suspicious look on his face. She walked next to his son and crouched down.

“How about we do that and I'll take you to the theater later so we can have our first piano lesson?”

“YAY!” he jumped.

“Alright let's roll West!” Vicki called. “See ya at the meadow” she winked at Lily who smiled back shyly.

“What was that? Are you two plotting against me or something? I'm kinda scared, Vicki plotting is never good, but if she does it with you I'm definitely dead.” Misha raised an eyebrow.

Lily chuckled.

“How brave you are! I just need to talk to you in private. Let's walk.” she pressed starting to walk towards the trail.

“Great, now I'm terrified.” He laughed following her, but he kinda was for real.

They walked along the trail for a while, talking about Lily's year in Austria, or what she did when she got back in Seattle, they talked a bit about Misha's work too because Lily was always curious to learn about it since she didn't know that much. She had found Misha back two years ago and she still hadn't caught up on Supernatural. That was a LONG show.

“How about we sit on that bench and you tell me what's going on?” Misha asked hopeful. It was getting on his nerves now, and the fact that his wife knew about it was even scarier.

“Misha, it's along the path where everybody pass by, I need somewhere we won't be interrupted. Come on.”

She walked a little faster, eager to be over with this. She knew what would his reaction be (or at least she thought she did), but she was still terrified about the future.

“Really? Is it so bad? Hey wait for me!” he almost ran to catch up with her.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the creek gorge in the middle of the forest.

“Oh my god it's gorgeous! That's something we don't have in Brooke Park!” Lily said and took her phone out to take some pictures.

“Follow me, paparazzi.” Misha joked and took her hand, leading her to a tiny meadow behind the creek, surrounded by huge trees. He thought she had stalled for too long already.

“You know, technically… if I’m alone you’re supposed to call me paparazzo becau-” she started to explain teasingly but Misha didn’t want to hear her babbling anymore so he interrupted her.

“Is that private enough for you? Will you finally tell me what's going on and end my misery?”

She could feel his nervousness and felt a little bad so she decided it was time to be brave.

“Okay.” She sat on a flat stone and Misha crouched down in the grass facing her.

“You did meet someone in Austria, didn't you?” Misha ventured, hoping it would hurt less if he stated it first.

She scoffed. “Will you stop with that bullshit? I did not! I just... I actually had an interesting (and very awkward) conversation with Vicki this morning while you were at the grocery store.”

She stopped talking to take a deep breath. It was something to think about how she felt about him, but actually talk to him face to face was nerve wracking.

“Okay, for a start it doesn’t sound that bad... What did you two talk about?” Misha sounded relieved already.

“About you. Well... us.”

Misha cleared his throat, he knew Vicki's position about this so he could tell the conversation must've been a little tough for Lily, especially when she couldn’t understand everything his marriage with Vicki involved. One word caught his attention though.

“Us?”

She nervously put a red lock behind her ear. “Yes. She umm... she... she wanted to know if I was okay spending the whole weekend with her around since, you know, we have a past.”

“But you are okay with it, ain't ya?”

“Yeah, sure, it's fine, I told her that.”

He squinted and scratched his head. “Alright I'm a bit lost. Is that it? You both are okay with it so I don't see the problem here. She wasn't mad, was she? It would be very surprising...”

Lily swiped her moist palms on her jeans.

“She was a little... because she thought I was lying.”

Misha frowned. “Were you?”

She swallowed and looked in his blue eyes. “Yes...?”

That's when she saw the sparkle of hope appearing in Misha's intense gaze.

“Lily, what are you saying exactly?”

Alright, Lily, spit it!

“She very vividly made me realize that I do hate the idea of you being with another woman and... well... she wanted me to tell you what I really want to do about it because she can't stand me hurting you any more. And I think she's right, you don't deserve this, I was a total ass with you, Misha… I’m sorry.”

A shaky breath escaped Misha's mouth when he took Lily's small hand in his.

“Do you at least know what you truly want?”

He started to think she was going to leave him behind again because she was scared and he wasn't quite ready to hear that.

“I’m… not exactly sure yet but… I know what I don’t want for sure, and it scares me.”

Time slowed at that moment. Neither of them could speak further. Lily needed to tell him the truth, but once it would be done, everything would change and she didn't know if she could deal with it.

She took another deep breath and closed her eyes.

“I don’t want to be away from you anymore… and I don’t want to see you with any other woman, Misha. As much as I tried to convince myself that it was normal and that we both needed to move on, I just can't. What we've been through is too big to move on. I mean… Vicki is truly an amazing woman but… I hate the idea of her in your bed, I hate the image of you touching her and making love to her. It makes me sick, I can’t help it. I hate myself for being so selfish, but she told me she was okay with whatever I would say to you as long as I was honest so... here we are. This is the honest truth.”

Misha was still frowning and looking at her like he didn’t understand everything.

“So… are you saying this to me because you want me to end my relationship with Vicki and take her place?”

Hearing Misha asking this question so plainly made her guilt resurface, but the truth was deep down, in a corner of her heart she didn’t want to scratch too much, she wouldn’t mind if they’d break up.

“I have no right to ask this from you, and this is where it scares me. I don’t know if I could live with myself knowing I am the reason you’d split with the mother of your children. I’m afraid my guilt would take over my feelings for you, and if that happens, I would’ve broken your wonderful family for nothing and frankly I’d rather die.”

He huffed and looked down, her hand still in his and he squeezed a little, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.

“Dear God please don’t die a second time, the first one was hard enough for me.” He joked to lighten the mood a little bit, but it didn’t work very well.

“Lily… Back in Northfield you looked at me in the eyes without blinking and told me you didn’t love me anymore…”

Oh right… she did that. Congratulations Lily you’re officially a monster!

She couldn’t look at him anymore so she looked down at their intertwined fingers.

“You know very well it wasn’t true. You provoked me and I needed something strong enough to keep you away from me and near your family.”

Misha closed his eyes and sighed once more.

“I’m sorry Misha… I really thought you wanted me back only because we were there among our memories and you would regret everything that happened during that trip. My intention was never to hurt you. You know I would never try to hurt you intentionally, right?”

He nodded weakly and sank his gaze in hers again.

“I don’t regret any second of that trip, Lily. And today, almost two years later, I still can look at you and tell you the same things I said back there.”

He shook his head and huffed but never let go of her hands.

“Lily, we will turn forty this year, we’re not kids anymore… you can’t keep running away denying your feelings.”

“That’s why I’m here having this conversation with you... and despite our past It’s terrifying…”

“Don’t you trust me anymore? When you were sixteen you would’ve said 'fuck everything' and come with me wherever I would’ve gone without any question about the consequences. Can’t you do that anymore?”

“The consequences didn’t include kids when I was sixteen. You can’t compare.”

“Do you seriously think I would ever take a decision that could hurt my children or any member of my family? I would never do that. I told you a million times I know what I’m doing. You just lost your trust in me and in yourself along the way.”

Tears were forming in her eyes because it hurt to hear him say the truth but she tried to hold them back.

“How do I get it back? How do I take the right decision?” she asked weakly.

“You stop listening to your brain and you listen to your heart.” He replied immediately, full of confidence.

Misha knelt to be at eye level with her. He raised his hand to her face to wipe the single tear falling down her cheek and cupped her face afterward. Her immediate reaction was to lean in his warm hand, closing her eyes.

“I’m going to say it one more time: I love you, Lily, and that will never change. I am devastatingly in love with you, Lily Hagen, and I hope you don’t doubt that a second.”

He paused a few seconds to put a lock of red hair behind her ear.

“I want you by my side permanently, I want you to be mine and of course I’m aware it will have consequences, but I don't care because I know it will be okay. I would love to make you feel the same way. I know I can. Are you willing to trust me and let me try? Listen to your heart, Lily… what does it say? Do you want that?”

She bit her lower lip to stop the tears from falling but failed miserably. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t want it anymore, it was time to face her deepest fear.

“Yes I want that.” she shakily whispered through a sob.

Misha smiled fondly. Finally she admitted it!

He took her face in both hands, brushed his thumbs on her cheeks to dry her tears and leaned forward to kiss her slowly. She didn't resist, she let herself melt in his breath, and it felt so good that she had to shut her eyes tight.

Misha broke the kiss and looked at her tenderly.

“I really thought you would never admit it.”

She weakly laughed and put her hands above his on her neck.

“So what’s happening now?”

He could hear the fear in her voice.

“I'll tell you what we are going to do now. We're going to go to the meadow and meet Vicki and the kids, you take West to his piano lesson, and while you do that, I talk to Vicki. Then we'll spend the evening together, just you and me. How does it sound?”

“Not that scary... except maybe for the piano lesson if West is like you...” she declared with a smirk.

Misha laughed and stoop up, pulling at her hand. “You’ll find out soon enough, I won't spoil the surprise.”

She didn’t move and pulled her hand back.

“What about West and Maison?”

Misha frowned “What about them?”

“How are you going to explain that situation to your kids?” she pressed.

“Well that’s my problem. We’ll go slow and they’ll probably adjust little by little. If West asks questions I’ll be honest, Maison is too young to understand yet. Don’t worry about that.”

She nodded and stood up before wrapping her arms around his waist, resting her forehead on his chest. He hugged her back and tilted his head down a little bit to put his chin on her head.

“Listen… I don’t care how hard being together will be, Lily, nothing is worse than being apart.”

She looked up without breaking their embrace. She couldn't break it or she would probably fall, her legs felt like jelly after he said that to her. She had to agree with him on that point: being away from him was torture.

He leaned down and kissed her again, this time with more passion.

Lily reluctantly broke it a few seconds later.

“Shouldn't we go, now?”

“Probably yeah…”

But he took her face in his hands and kissed her again.

“Misha…” she managed to say when he pulled away to breathe.

“Alright, alright, let’s go then, if we really have to.” He whined.

***

When they arrived at the large meadow, Vicki was sitting on a bench feeding Maison and West was playing with his kite near the lake. He forgot about it the second he saw his dad walking towards them. He ran to him and Misha took him in his arms before joining Vicki and Maison, followed by Lily.

“Did you two have a good talk?” Vicki asked curious.

“Very.” Misha simply answered, and a single look between them was enough for Vicki to understand.

Lily started to feel bad and very uncomfortable, but with a nod and a sincere smile, Vicki reassured her, and she was very grateful for that. She would never understand how that woman could be so wonderful, and she had trouble thinking Misha wanted to be with her more than he wanted to be with a very smart and mature woman like Vicki.

“Piaaaanooooo!” West screamed, jumping everywhere.

“Hey! Manners!” Misha grounded and the boy calmed down instantly.

Vicki stood up and put Maison back in the stroller.

“Alright everybody, let’s go!”

And with that, they all walked back to the car, talking about everything like nothing happened.

***

“No, West, you can’t play Beethoven right away it’s too complicated for you. You have to practice this one first.”

Lily still had access to music theatres thanks to Ludo who let her use her card even if she had no permanent contract with the Seattle orchestra anymore. After all, people at the front desk weren’t supposed to know and ask questions about it.

That’s why she managed to easily enter Bellingham theatre to practice a little with West who was dying to play like a piano prodigy already.

“But Daddy said this was the first song you taught him!” he whined.

“He was twelve, you’re five!”

But yeah… Misha was as eager and impatient as his son right now.

Lily sighed “Twinkle Twinkle is a great song, you know it by heart and it’s very easy to play, you’ll see.”

When he finally stopped complaining, she tried to actually make him play at least a few notes. That would be a victory.

“Okay, put both your thumbs here, on the white key.”

He did so and pressed the key so hard with both of his thumbs at the same time that the note resonated in the huge hall.

“Without pressing on it yet!” she sighed again.

This will be a long long lesson…

***

It was almost 9pm when Lily brought West back home. Truth was, she was so focused with the piano lesson that she didn’t check the time. She wanted West to be proud of himself and be able to show his parents how he could already play something after only one lesson, and he loved it so much that he could already play Twinkle Twinkle if he could stay focused for the whole piece, which was hard.

When she eventually looked at her phone, it was 8pm and they both were very hungry, so she took West out to eat burgers downtown before going back home.

Apparently, neither Misha nor Vicki was worried about Lily keeping their son for so long, because there was no message or missed calls on her phone.

West ran passed her when she pushed their front door, and she heard him scream with content when he found his parents in the living room watching some TV.

“I can play Twinkle Twinkle! I wanna show you, I wanna show you, I wanna show you!”

Lily stepped in the living room and saw him jumping on the couch, Misha trying to keep him down because Maison was asleep on her mother’s laps.

Of course it didn’t work and Maison woke up in a terrible cry so Vicki had to stand up and try to calm her down too.

“I thought after a day at the park and an intense piano lesson he would be tired… But I’m the one who’s exhausted.” Lily laughed, but it was true: today had been full on emotions for her and she couldn’t wait till she could collapse on her bed.

“I’m not surprised.” Vicki replied cheerfully while she rocked Maison back to sleep.

Misha stood up and took West by his hand. “I’ll help you with the kids.”

Vicki nodded and said goodnight to Lily before disappearing outside with Maison still in her arms.

“Where is she going?” Lily asked surprised, stopping him in his track.

Misha took West in his arms and walked to the front door.

“They’re going to spend the rest of the weekend with Rachel at her place.”

“YAY I’ll play with the dogs!!” West screamed, a big smile plastered on his face.

“Who’s Rachel?”

“We’ll talk about that later. Ready Westy? Let's go to the car.”

Lily couldn’t help feeling guilty… again. Was Vicki leaving because of her? Did she just have an argument with Misha regarding their conversation in the park earlier? Was she the reason why Misha would spend the rest of the weekend away from his kids after not seeing them for a week because he worked in Vancouver?

She had a thousand questions and a million thoughts, and none of them were positive. Every single thought was hurting her and she had to go out on the patio to breathe some fresh air. She sat on the swing and took deep breaths while rocking back and forth to calm herself down, until Misha came back and sat next to her, seeing something wasn’t right.

“Lily? Are you okay?” he asked softly, gently pressing his hand on her knee. Lily sat back on the swing and frowned at Misha.

“Why are they leaving?”

“Because we need some time alone. Vicki wanted to give us some space and I have to say I didn’t mind. What’s wrong?”

“You haven’t seen your kids for a whole week and now they’re leaving because of me!”

Misha seemed to understand what was bothering her.

“Nobody’s leaving because of you. I’ve spent the whole day with them, I’ll see them tomorrow. You’re not kicking anyone out, if that’s the problem.”

“Who’s Rachel?”

Misha smiled and looked down before leaning back crossing his arms. It was normal for her to ask so many questions, so he stayed patient and answered because it had to be done.

“Rachel is a very close friend. Vicki fell in love with hers years ago.” He replied defiantly.

Lily opened her mouth to reply something but as nothing came out, she shut it and frowned, staring ahead of her.

Misha started to be very amused about her reaction.

“She wanted to have some good time tonight, and as she knew it wouldn’t happen with me, she decided she would bang her girlfriend instead.” He insisted almost impudently. “Plus she needs to explain our situation to her too now.”

Lily turned to look at Misha, her eyes questioning him. She didn’t see why Vicki had to explain what was happening between Misha and her, but she still was speechless.

Misha cleared his throat and turned on his seat, folding a leg beneath him.

“Rachel was a part of our relationship. She has to know I won’t be here for her anymore, and Vicki is the best person to tell her. It will be fine.”

Oh… right… the other woman. He told Lily about her when they were in Northfield, and she had trouble believing him.

“So… If I understand this right, you were sleeping with both of them and they were okay with it…”

Misha couldn’t help but laughed.

“Yes.”

“Separately or… at the same time?”

He burst out laughing. She was clueless but curious about this relationship and he found her reaction actually cute.

“Usually both at the same time. One of our rules being we can have sex with other people but we have to be both participating. But since they are very much in love with each other, they do that a lot when I’m away, and it happened I had sex only with Rachel too.”

Lily sighed and bent over, putting her elbows on her knees and rubbing her face in her hands.

“That’s crazy. I can’t believe this is you talking.” She admitted.

Misha extended his arm to rub her back and take her long hair out of her face.

“This was the incomplete broken version of me indeed, but you don’t have to worry about it, as long as you’re with me I’ll be complete again. I hope you believe that.”

She turned her head to look back at him.

“How do I know you won’t need another person to join us when you’ll start to be bored? How do I know I’ll be enough for you? I can’t do that… I would never allow a third person to… to… do that with us. Misha… If one day I realize you’re cheating in any way… even if it’s with Vicki, I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry but I’m not as strong, open-minded and confident as she is. I need you to understand that before we go any further.”

Misha chuckled. “Do you at least know how long it’s been since I’ve touched my wife?”

NO AND I DON’T WANT TO KNOW! Her whole body screamed.

“Misha, you slept in the same bed just yesterday, I’m not completely naive you know.” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh you are… because it’s been months, and every time I did, I felt guilty as hell because that awful feeling I was cheating on you reappeared as soon as you ran into me at the airport two years ago. And don’t try to make me believe you’re innocent Miss Hagen, because I talked to Katie today, and I was very surprised to know Peter had been around you a little too much since you came back from Austria…”

Lily froze.

She couldn’t believe Misha was talking to Katie behind her back, and she couldn’t believe Katie told him about Peter!

He indeed helped her moving her stuff back to her old apartment, and then he helped her finding her new job, and one thing leading to another, they indeed spent a few nights together, but it didn’t count, right?

“I… It doesn’t… we didn’t…” she tried to explain everything to him but couldn’t find her words.

Misha pulled on her shoulder so she would lean in her seat and look at him closely. He looked very determined and his eyes were piercing through hers.

“I need to know you don’t want anything from him anymore, Lily. If you can’t share, I can’t either.”

Lily could feel she was furiously blushing right now. She felt like a kid surprised with a hand in the candy jar.

But it was fair, she had no right to ask him to be faithful and exclusive if she wasn’t either.

“I don’t even care about him anymore. He just… he was there and you were not.”

“Good. We’re clear then.” Misha nodded and gave her his most beautiful half smile.

God that damn smile!

“Yeah… We’re clear.” She confirmed and leaned forward to leave a quick peck on his lips.

That triggered Misha who stopped her when she tried to pull back. He gently grabbed her wrist and pulled, getting closer to her on the swing. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again, slower this time, licking her lower lip. She opened her mouth and their tongues met, tasting every cell of their mouth and breathing harder and harder.

Misha gently pushed on her shoulders so she would lay back on the swing and he crushed her under his warm and muscular body, kissing every inch of her neck.

She instinctively spread her legs to allow his body to fully cover hers and she melted in his warmth, faintly moaning when he licked the sensitive spot under her ear.

It felt divine to be in his strong arms again.

When he sucked at that same spot and slid one of his hands under her shirt, Lily cried out and her hips helplessly raised to rub his crotch, which made Misha even wilder and when he moved to reach the waistband of her jeans, the swing rocked a little too hard and they both landed on the grass with a shriek.

Misha put his forearms on each side of Lily’s head, supporting his weight to not crush her completely. When he looked at her, ready to ask if she was okay, Lily started to giggle hysterically under him and couldn’t stop, bringing Misha to do the same.

“That’s not the first time it happens to us!” she managed to say between chuckles, holding her stomach and trying to catch her breath at the same time.

She was referring to the numerous times they started to make out on the willow tree’s branch and fell into the pond when it started to get hot.

“Well at least we’re not wet this time.” Misha replied out of breath.

“Speak for yourself…” she suddenly said very low, her eyes piercing through him.

The sensual tone in her voice and the fact that she was still lying under him made Misha still, his giggles forgotten.

“Should we go on upstairs?” he asked, looking at her hungrily.

Lily raised a hand to grab the collar of his shirt and pull it, forcing him to lean down. She opened her mouth and kissed him, biting on his upper lip every time she had the occasion. She loved that pulpy lip of his so much!

When she started wriggling under him again and Misha felt his pants were getting way too tight, he broke the kiss and stood up.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

He grabbed her by the wrist to pull her back up and almost ran into the house, Lily silently following him biting her lower lip. They made their way upstairs and when Misha arrived in front of his bedroom, he pinned her against the door and reached for her neck. He left wet kisses along her jaw line before reaching for the door knob, but when she felt it opening behind her, Lily pressed a firm hand against Misha’s chest, forcing him to stand back with a questioning look.

“Not here.”

He immediately understood she didn’t want to do it in the room he shared with Vicki, so he stepped backward still facing her, his eyes never leaving hers, only to open the door behind him, which was the spare room she was staying in for the weekend.

He didn’t ask anything, he just waited for her to say or do something.

She stepped forward and took both of his hands in hers, interlacing her fingers with his, and she walked further, never leaving his hungry gaze, forcing him to step backward inside of her room. She didn’t stop until the back of Misha’s legs knocked her bed and he fell sitting on it.

She let go of his hands to straddle him and cup his face, soon tasting his lips again.

She swayed her hips to rub her crotch against the now very obvious bulge in his pants, which made her moan in his mouth. She reached for his belt and opened it, but when she tried to unzip Misha’s jeans, he grabbed her waist and lifted her to lay her down on the bed.

Misha laid on top of her, stroked her hair out of her face and kissed her again, first on her lips, then along her jaw line, and soon licking his way down her chest. He slid both hands under her shirt and lifted it above her head before leaning down to kiss her lower stomach. Lily’s head fell back and she raised her hips, needing to feel him where she needed it the most.

He understood what she wanted right away and lost no time unzipping her jeans and pulling them down completely. He knelt between her legs, just looking at her body lying on the bed. He placed both hands at her ankles and started slowly caressing his way up her legs. When he reached her thighs, he leaned down and placed an open kiss inside the right one, sucking her flesh inside his mouth, and once again she couldn’t resist raising her hips, this time with a moan.

He continued his way tracing his fingers along her stomach and cupped both her clothed breasts when he reached them. Lily unclasped her bra and reached for the hem of his shirt, silently asking him to take it off, which he did.

She stayed a few seconds hungrily staring at his muscular chest, biting her lower lip. Misha smiled and leaned down to kiss her again, and when their warm chest touched each other, they both moaned at the same time. Lily wrapped her arms around him and hugged tight, caressing his back in the process.

It was Misha’s turn to grind his hips against her clothed pussy, which made Lily even more desperate to feel him so she reached for his waistband one more time. This time he didn’t stop her, he even helped freeing himself from his pants. Lily placed a hand behind his neck and pulled towards her so he leaned down and they both moaned when their bodies connected again.

Misha could already feel her wetness though her black laced panties and couldn’t hold it anymore. He quickly reached for her underwear and almost ripped it while he eagerly pulled it down her legs. He didn’t lose any time, knelt back and did the same with his own, freeing his hard cock.

Lily couldn’t help but hummed and licked her lips at the view. Misha was kneeling between her legs, completely naked, his glorious cock ready and his eyes burning on her.

“You aged well Mister Krushnic, do you know that?”

Misha smiled and leaned forward, covering her body with his, supporting his weight with his forearms, and looked directly in her eyes, his face only inches away from hers. Lily could feel his cock on her stomach and she wanted nothing more than to feel it inside of her right now.

“Are you saying you didn’t like my skeletal young body?”

That killed the heat of the moment, Lily tried to suppress the image from her head, she tried to hold her giggles, but she finally burst out laughing under him, remembering his younger features. If Misha had to guess, he would’ve said it was a hint of nostalgia he saw in her eyes at that moment.

“You know I loved it.” She replied still laughing, her body convulsing against Misha’s cock.

He leaned his head down and bit once on her lower lip before burying his face on the crook of her neck, not losing a bit of his hunger for her.

“Stop laughing like that, Lily, you’ll make me come.” He growled in her ear and with that, Lily stilled and caressed the back of his head, turning her face to place a soft kiss on his cheek.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and ground her hips again and again, rubbing her clit against Misha’s cock until he hummed and rose himself back enough for her to look at him in the eyes.

“Please…” she begged.

If Misha had one weakness, it was hearing her begging for him. He reached down between their bodies, grabbed his cock and pumped a few times before placing it right at her entrance. When he looked up at her and saw the lustful look in her eyes and her teeth biting hard on her lower lip, he knew he didn’t have to ask for her permission and he gently pushed forward to enter her.

Her head flew back instantly with a load moan. She had missed him so much!

She ground her hips one more time and Misha did the same, thrusting back and forth inside of her in a torturous slow pace. He still had his forearms on each side of her head, and he wasn’t leaving her gaze even a second.

“I love you.” he whispered and leaned down to kiss her.

The kiss was long and passionate, Misha still slowly moving inside of her, Lily had her arms still tightly wrapped around his waist, her fingers digging into his back.

When he broke the kiss to look at her again, her eyes were glassy, but he knew it wasn’t because he was hurting her.

“I love you too.” She replied staring at him, and she could see the emotion growing in his eyes until a tear fell from his eyes to her cheek.

He was dying to hear her say it to him again, and finally she said it back. It took twenty six years, but finally he heard it again, and no matter how hard he would try, he could never hide his emotion right now. He buried his head in her neck once again, afraid she would think something was wrong when she’d see his tears.

She smiled and tightened the grip on him.

“Please Misha… I need you now.” She pleaded, moving her hips faster against him.

Misha stopped and got out of her to kneel back on the bed, earning an obscene whine from Lily.

“Whyyyy?” she cried out desperately.

He grabbed her wrists and pulled to make her straddle his lap. As soon as she was positioned, she grabbed his cock and plunged to have him inside of her again.

“Take what you need.” He stared at her and she almost growled, losing no time to move up and down his length, slowly first but soon she wanted more and started bouncing fast around him.

Misha moaned and closed his eyes, trying to keep it as long as he could, but he knew with her hungry pace he would not be able to hold it for long.

Lily was still bouncing up and down around his rock hard cock, moaning at every thrust, her fingers firmly gripping Misha’s hair. She arched her back and leaned her head down, allowing Misha to reach for her breast and suck hard at her nipple.

He pulled her chest tight against his and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes sinking into his dark gaze. She could almost see him pleading for her not to stop. The fire in her eyes and her frantic pace drove him mad.

“Yes, Lily…” he hissed and moaned “come with me please…” he begged her.

Lily whined his name out and her whole body convulsed when he reached between their bodies to rub his thumb on her clit. He probably did that because he needed her to come now, but hearing him begging was enough to make her fall into bliss.

She came around his pulsing cock, moaning and screaming his name while gripping his hair so hard she could’ve sworn she torn a few hairs off his head.

Misha thrust up a few more times before releasing his seed inside of her, grunting and moaning all he could, his hands firmly gripping her hips.

After staying on his lap a few more minutes to catch her breath, Lily let herself fall on her back in a final sigh to lie on the bed. Misha didn’t move right away, still kneeling on the bed and observing her closing her eyes and wiping sweat from her face. He smiled when he realized she looked exhausted.

He lied down next to her after a little while and gently kissed her forehead. Her silence was just worrying him a little.

“Say something…” he whispered.

Lily just looked at him with awe but couldn’t speak. Her body and her soul were not functioning anymore. She raised a hand to gently caress his scruff and she smiled fondly at him before moving away to wrap herself in the bed sheets as she was starting to feel cold.

Misha joined her and as she laid on her side, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed his body against her back, burying his face in the back of her neck.

“Tell me you don’t regret this, Lily…”

It was hard for him to know if she was okay. She looked satisfied but was so quiet it was disturbing.

Lily took a few seconds to think about it and turned her head to look at him.

“I don’t.” she reassured him and was happy to see a bright smile enlightening his face.

It was even surprising her, she didn’t feel an ounce of guilt this time, and being with Misha felt so right and so natural to her.

He moved away just a little and his eyes fell on her back, studying her scar. He traced it with his fingers, all along from the curve of her hip to her left shoulder where he left sweet kisses, resting with his mouth on it afterward.

“What are you doing?” Lily asked embarrassed. She hated that ugly scar and often felt like a freak, but sometimes she could forget about it, especially after her previous mind-blowing activity with Misha.

Misha’s fingers were still trailing on her back, feeling the healed asperities of her melted skin. She couldn’t see him, but he was lost in his thoughts, trying to picture what had happened after he passed out that night, and all he could think about was how weak and useless he had been. Her scar was just the proof of his failing and he probably would never stop blaming himself for seeing this mark on her back instead of his.

“Misha?” Lily asked concerned and turned her head to look at him again. She expected to see disgust on his face, but all she saw was a frowning Misha, his eyes glued on her scar but his gaze seemed empty, with a pained expression all over his face.

When he heard her saying his name, he got out of his thoughts and looked at her with glassy eyes.

“Did you feel any pain?” he whispered shamefully.

“What?” she wasn’t sure what he meant exactly, of course she felt the agonizing pain even months after it happened, and she had dozens of surgeries to make her back look better afterward, you don’t get burnt like that and heal like it’s no big deal.

“I mean… the moment it happened, when I was unconscious and uselessly lying next to you... were you in pain?”

Her face fell when she realized what he was asking, and especially why he was asking it. She raised her hand to cup his cheek and rubbed her thumb along his jaw line.

“No. I just felt the pressure of something crushing me down on you but I passed out right after that too.”

She said it hoping it would make him feel better, but seeing him closing his eyes and feeling his jaw bones clenching beneath her hand, she knew it didn’t work at all.

“Misha… please don’t blame yourself for this. It wasn’t your fault. I’m okay now. We are okay.”

“I’ll never be okay with the fact you needed me and I did nothing.”

“What could you do? We were trapped like rats!” she raised her voice a little, because it always hurt when she remembered it, plus she was slightly annoyed he would still punish himself for that.

“You did something, you protected me.”

She almost laughed at his words, but she tried to suppress her giggles to not hurt him even more.

“Oh right, yeah… I very bravely cuddled on top of you because I was scared to death and I put a damn flammable blanket on my back… very smart move, what a hero I am!”

Misha was not amused by her sarcastic tone.

“It was enough to keep me from burning and choking completely…” he pointed out.

Lily closed her eyes trying to stop the images from coming back in her head. She didn’t know why Misha was talking about that now, right after having sex.

“You never really told me in detail what happened when you woke up the next day…” Misha insisted.

Was that blame she could hear in his voice? Was he saying she could maybe have done something about their two decades separation?

She was too tired to fight now. She just sighed.

“What do you want to know exactly?” she ventured, not sure where this conversation would lead.

Misha looked at her and bit his lip.

“Everything… I want to know everything. And now seems like a good time.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. She couldn’t believe he was doing that to her now, just because he saw her fucking scar and thought about it again.

But as she had nothing to hide to him, she decided she would give him what he wanted. He probably needed it to finally be at peace with himself.

She turned to face him and raised a little, supporting her with her forearm on the bed.

She took a deep breath and tried to remember every single detail she could.

She rarely talked about it before, not like that, not even to Dr Dorville, not even to Katie, but if someone had to hear this in details, it was Misha…

#misha collins #fanfiction #when we were young #long fic #slow built #misha x ofc #smut #fluff #angst

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diadyn · 7 years ago

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10 Songs I’m Currently Into

Technically tagged by @atarostarling but mainly because I wanted to do the thing~

I like this “currently into” bit. I’m terrible about picking favorites, my interests and tastes and current favorites change depending on what I’m watching/playing and/or mood and/or day of the week it seems.

Therefore in no particular order I give you what my YouTube searches are telling me are my current musical interests!

In This Moment - “In The Air Tonight (cover)” YouTube is fantastic about suggesting songs based on my interests and I found this gem amid the rubble.

twenty one pilots - “Can’t Help Falling in Love (cover)” A Facebook friend shared this Tumblr post and I fell in love. I’m fond of most Elvis songs already but this was raw and the only musical accompaniment (other than the background chorus was a ukulele, it’s just so good~ low key want to get a ukulele now because of this song

Pearl Jam - “Last Kiss” My guitar teacher used to play this all the time in class and a recent Tumblr post had the lyrics within. Thus my love for this song was reborn.

Halsey - “Castle” Again Tumblr post, thanks @swabin10. I’m officially addicted to this song. It suits FFXV so well and it’s fantasy themed so obviously heart eyes <3

Paramore - “Brick by Boring Brick” Replied to an ask “what song describes your aesthetic” that was ridiculously hard either lyrics were too vague or too specific for me but this song definitely captured me in a way: she lives in a fairy tale somewhere too far for us to find

Disturbed - “The Sound of Silence (cover)” This cover has been making the rounds for good reason too because it’s AMAZING.

Sia - “Fire Meet Gasoline” Another YouTube suggestion but damn this song is hot! hehehe puns, but no literally it’s sexy

Three Days Grace - “Fallen Angel” I was really bummed when Adam Gontier left TDG because 1.) I thought that would be the end of them and 2.) if not, their sound would be so different and the band wouldn’t have the same feel! I was wrong on both accounts and I appreciate their new lead (even if I still miss Adam)

All That Remains - “Thunder Rolls (cover)” Another Facebook share I spotted. I used to be really into country as a child and this song was always one of my favorites. Not as good as it could be unfortunately (I wish it was harder tbh, Garth Brooks was more powerful vocally) but I still kinda dig it.

Fleetwood Mac - “The Chain” Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Soundtrack. ‘Nuff said. I fucking love GotG and 80′s music.

Linkin Park - “One More Light” (full album) Did you count? Because I cheated...twice. This is a listing for a full album AND it’s number 11. I’m quite literally still grieving Chester Bennington and while it’s hard to listen to his voice I adored this album despite the flack it got before he passed.

Holy covers batman!

Feel free to consider yourself tagged and play along! Be sure to tag me in your reply~

#diadyn answers #10 songs I'm currently into meme

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mystic-scripture · 6 years ago

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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: None/ Wayward serpents (Nat Dwyer, JD Dwyer, Ratchet Marks, JD Maxwell, Ty Brooks, Harley Davis)

It was Harley’s favorite time of year: Christmas. Which meant going all out on decorating everyone’s houses, lockers, and doing all sorts of crafty little things for the other serpents throughout the month, but she also made a big deal out of secret santa. Mind you it was only the six of them, since they added Ratchet and JD to the list, but Harley always made sure everyone kept it to themselves until they did a big reveal Christmas Eve at Nat’s. Usually, there is booze involved, so no one really complained.

This year was no different. No reveals had been made yet, and no gifts exchanged until the reveal, though Dax broke it and she’d gotten a promise ring,and she had no idea what people got. Okay, so maybe this year being no different is a lie, since this year they decided to forgo any limits they had set the past couple of years, making it a wild card gift based on who you had. Where Nat and Harley didn’t really care about the money, the boys did, the older two especially. There was also the fact that wrapping was a dead giveaway, or least Nat’s was, so they decided to keep it simple. Fit your gift in a certain sized box and that’s it. No wrapping involved, nothing too too bad.

The others were sure that Harley regretted that though as Dax ‘unwrapped’ his gift from Nat to find a bunch of packaging peanuts and one of those dinner and a movie gift card packages at the bottom. JD hadn’t been much better with her gift, but the necklace he’d gotten was far more than what she expected. Now, it was Ty’s turn as he shoved his box towards Nat, scratching at the back of his head.

“So, I did kinda cheat this year and tell someone I had you.” He admitted earning a glare from the raven haired girl. “But! It was my mom who isn’t in this and it’s because I needed her help.”

“Dear God what would you need Gloria’s help with?” Nat grimaced, looking at the box like it was a pipe bomb.

“Just open the damn thing, yeah?” Dax punched his frustrated friend in the arm, getting a laugh from the others. “It ain’t gonna kill ya.”

She raised an eyebrow as if to question the validity of the statement, but pulled the box’s lid off anyway. The top had a couple of pieces of tissue paper along with a card. Nat took it and read it, a small crinkle appearing in her forehead. “A tribute to the most Badass Chick I know.” She read aloud, pulling at the tissue paper here eyes widening as she saw underneath it. “You sentimental dip!”

Sitting in the box was a small scrapbook that read “Nat’s Serpent Tail” across the top of it. As she took it out and flipped through it, they saw various pictures of her from during her initiation, tastefully leaving out the female version, and various after fight chats they’d had. Nat was trying not to smile, but failed as she looked at a picture of her holding the baby tooth she’d lost in her gauntlet, grinning wide with a split lip and shiner on her forehead.

“Wait…these are pictures from my camera…” she realized, looking at him accusingly. “Is that what you needed my SD cards for? I thought you said you were making a collage for Harley of all the pictures I got of her and Dax together.”

“It was, and it is.” He nodded, ducking from her impending fist. “But I couldn’t tell you it was for your own present!”

“He’s got a point, you know.” Ratchet stated, passing his box over to Ty, “But I still think I did better.”

“I doubt it, do you know how long it takes to scrapbook?” Ty exclaimed, taking the box and shaking it gently. “This does feel kinda heavy though.”

They all looked in anticipation as he opened his gift, a frown sagging across his face as he pulled out a bunch of papers and a large journal out of the box. At first he papers seemed random, then they started to become apparent. In the box sat dozens of crumpled paper receipts and notes, bits and ends that he probably left at Dax’s during a cram session or something. The girls laughed, and the boys looked confused.

“Oh! Sorry, uhm open the book.” Ratchet said enjoying the look on Ty’s face a little too much. “I may have been a dick about the wrapping.”

“May have?” Nat rolled her eyes. “How long have you been collecting his trash for?”

“Long enough to cover that.”

He said, nodding towards Ty who had discovered that the journal was actually a box, bright chrome shining brightly. Everyone scurried over to see what it was, letting out gasps as they took in the gleaming new set of socket and C wrenches that sat there, a few other mechanical tools in there as well. Ty went to wipe a tear from his eye, the new tools something he’d never had before, always getting JD’s spares or hand-me-downs from the various serpents. They were new, and they were his. They even had T. Brooks monogrammed into them.

“That is fantastic, Marks...thank you.” He murmured looking at his shiny new toys. “Now I kinda want something to be wrong with my bike.”

“Never say such things.” Came the serious reply from JD, who turned to his friend. “Dude, you never got me anything this nice before, what the hell?”

“You never asked.” Ratchet shrugged, “All he’s ever done is complain about how crappy his tools are when he’s hanging at the trailer.”

“Whatever.” He waved a hand in frustration, his finger moving between the group, okay so, Nat is done, Ty is done, and we have given two other gifts? So...Dax or Harley, you give your gifts, I guess, then we’ll reveal whoever is left. Then you all can get the hell out of my house.”

“No need to be a grinch!” Harley protested, scooting towards her boyfriend. “You go first babe.”

“Well, I got JD, so-” He groaned, standing up and making his way over to his mentor. “Kinda a thank you for things more than a secret santa.”

“You have nothing to thank me for Kid.” He said, opening the box with a laugh. Pulling out another box and spun it to show off a very nice whiskey set. “Damn but you can keep doing so if you want to, and I don’t even want to see you breath on this Nat.”

A pout spread across the blondes face, as she stared lovingly at the stones and one of the glasses. “But it’s a set for two! There are two of us!”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Okay!” Harley jumped up, moving her box over to Ratchet. “I also kinda cheated, so your present is outside, but there is a part of it in the box.

Everyone looked at Harley with shock, slack jawed and eyes wide open. She had broken the rules? Her, the enforcer of said rules? This had to be good. They all turned as Ratchet opened it, finding a small booklet and paperwork in side. Moving it around, he found a key and his eyes snapped towards her.

“You didn’t.”

“Look outside.” She grinned, I most certainly did.”

Everyone scrambled, limbs tangling into each other as they followed him out, trying to see what the two were talking about. Dax however, saw the key and instantly knew. He went over to his girlfriend, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Giving her a soft squeeze, he spun her around to face him.

“I’m pretty sure you just made his year if that’s what I think it is.” He said, “Given he’s been looking for that thing seven years, maybe the past few.”

“Mom was able to pull in a favor with the Sheriff.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t even doing anything, just being stripped from all the ghoulie mods from when they stole it off the original buyer.”

“You amaze me, you know that.” He touched his forehead to hers, letting out a sigh. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

She closes her eyes, falling into his embrace. “You and those goofballs outside are the family I choose, I should be asking how I deserve all of you.”

Dax merely kissed her forehead, “Merry Christmas, Harls.”

“Merry Christmas, Dust.”

“Oh geeze get a room you two!!!” Nat shouted, the door slamming open as the other piled in. “And preferably not mine.”

Harley broke away from her boyfriend to roll her eyes, and grab her drink. “Merry Christmas to you too, ya filthy animals.”

They all toasted to that, taking the time to clean up and sober up before driving home, Ratchet driving Harley to her house in his shining, almost brand new car that looked the same as the day that he’d sold it seven christmases ago.

Yeah, Christmas was Harley’s favorite time of the year.

#mystic's holiday drabbles #wayward serpents #harley davis #nat dwyer #ty brooks #dax maxwell #ratchet marks #jd dwyer #little bit of daxley in there #little bit of one sided Tat as well #fd: riverdale

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