#I used a pickaxe for everything when i first started playing minecraft

[mosquito-man-man]

Joe? Whose Joe?

[placeholder-mcd]

(Obligatory "I sound like I'm speaking objectively from authority but this is just my opinion and it's okay for you to like media I dislike for whatever reasons you may have")

Okay so like. while "the minecraft move trailer is so bad that it makes minecraft story mode look good in comparison" is both true and funny, can we please not start pretending that story mode is a well-crafted piece of media. as someone who has played through it multiple times (first when it originally came out and I was 12 and thought it was awesome, then later as an interactive Netflix experience with friends for so-bad-it's-good reasons) I feel pretty qualified to say it blows

Like, yes. There are so many things that MCSM got right that the movie apparently got wrong. But, like, they're all extremely common-sense things to get right -- like having the whole thing be animated, and maintaining a visual style that feels consistent with minecraft, and spending time with individual aspects of the minecraft experience that have their own communities (like redstone contraptions). that sense seems a little less common now that the movie trailer exists, but still, these are all bare minimum expectations of a piece of narrative-driven media set in Minecraft.

MCSM still completely fails, however, to have any compelling characters (RIP Reuben you were just as annoying as everyone else) or non-grating dialogue. The universe they depict isn't even well thought out! Like, okay, example:

Right off the bat, they make a big decision about how they're going to handle MCSM: they are not telling a story about people playing Minecraft the video game, but are instead depicting a universe where Minecraft is inhabited by a civilization of NPCs that have identical abilities to a player (aside from like, pausing the game or changing settings or what have you). This, in itself, is not a bad decision, but it puts the writers in a position where they need to conceptualize what is effectively a Minecraft AU. You're not playing survival mode or creative mode, you're playing Story mode. In this AU, humans exist in the minecraft world and have for a long time (centuries, at least?), they've built cities, they have language, etc. Imagine you're Jesse. Imagine you've grown up inside of Minecraft. Everyone is playing on hardcore, there is no respawning, and you live in a world filled with strange and dangerous creatures that seem hell-bent on killing you. Why the Fuck does anyone go out at night. Why isn't literally everyone combat-trained. Why is Jesse acting like he's never seen a Creeper before. Why is Petra the only member of the main party who knows how to craft a pickaxe.

At the build competition, the party is surprised that the reigning building team has a beacon. But nobody takes a second to actually investigate what that means. Did their team intentionally spawn and defeat a Wither? Doesn't that make them more badass and legendary than the order of the stone? Is there a black market for nether stars? (I think Petra is probably the one who gave them the beacon since she also trades Ivan a Wither skull. But like. Why isn't literally anyone else just going and doing what Petra does. Why aren't they impressed)

Ivan having access to a Command Block is also insane. Like, it has potential to be an extremely cool choice -- did Ivan find a way to break the fourth wall? Did he find an exploit in Minecrafts code that allowed him to obtain this? The command block has the power to just generate resources out of thin air. Ivan could actually use it to become a god and give himself creative mode. But okay, we can assume that the command block is just... Different, in the AU. Fine. It's a computing center / power core for the Wither Storm. Sure

But, like. I, even as an 11 year old, knew everything there was to know about minecraft when I played story mode (and, unlike the Movie, MCSM was actually attempting to appeal to the existing fanbase), so watching these characters who have lived for DECADES within the Minecraft universe just. Be helpless and completely clueless as to how the universe works? It makes me hate like all of them. I don't care about Jesse or Gabriel and if I actually had the freedom to perform the basic actions I could perform in Minecraft -- mining, building, and crafting -- I could use my game knowledge to pretty swiftly end the entire conflict at like any point in the story. And I'm not very good at video games. But I would expect a character who's been LIVING IN THE MINECRAFT WORLD TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. BECAUSE THEY'D BE BETTER AT MINECRAFT THAN ANY OF US.

The whole thing is a contrived and buggy mess that feels like it was written by a Hollywood CEO who watched someone play the game for 30 minutes, looked up some basic information like how to beat the game and whether there's any in-game lore, and then riffed on that until a script outline was finished. The programmers, visual artists, and composers clearly did a ton of work to make MCSM feel like minecraft. And they did a good job -- clearly, a much better job than the Movie is going to do. But that doesn't change the fact that the Story -- the focal element advertised in the title -- completely misses the fucking mark and centers around a group of characters who are largely incompetent and stupid in an unfunny and uninteresting way. MCSM was a shitty cashgrab by telltale games and I am not apologizing to it.

[convexicalcrow]

Dealing with having the 'rona has been mostly unproductive, but the last couple of days I've wanted to play minecraft again. I wasn't up to continuing the work on the cathedral yet bc I'm still trying to work out how to do the details on the front towers, so I thought I'd finally move the five villagers from their temporary little shack and into a proper building. It's arguably not much of a blacksmith's building, but it is what it is lol. Still needs interiors, but they're all moved in now and have a lot more space for themselves now. It gave me the chance to finally tear down that old shack and make some more farmland.

Before that, I did some work on the mine entrance that's below where this building sits. I felt like it was time to pretty it up and stop having janky staircases cut into the sides of the rocks lol. So I made proper staircases down to the xp grinder and to the branch mine.

I want to add in some texture to the stone and add back in some of the moss and azalea bushes that used to decorate the place as well as some more decoration, but I'm much happier with this now.

This isn't directly inspired by fWhip's quarry in his hardcore series, but I liked the idea of turning this area, where my mine entrance is, into something better.

And this is my little starter area where I first lived when I moved here. It was a natural cave that I carved out a small area into for storage and I lived there until I built my actual starter house.

This was where my chests used to be, and I'd always imagined doing something with this empty space one day, and now it holds a small furnace array, a bed, and some small storage space, and links through to the mine entrance.

This is now the route down to the cave floor. I widened the staircase and made a more proper way down to the floor. Before this, it was literally down a staircase I carved into the wall on the right in the bottom picture. Also I can't go much higher for that first platform bc there's a flooded cave right above me lol.

This leads down to the spawner. I forgot to screenshot it, but in the left photo, if you turn right there on the diorite, you'll find the staircase down to the branch mine. There's nothing particularly spectacular about it, it's just a plain staircase down, with a break in the middle where I started chasing an iron vein.

And this is the new staircase down to the floor where the xp farm is. I should probably do a more visible entrance for that as it really just is a hole in the floor lol. The dungeon was down a little windy cave and I've used that for the entrance. I really like the transition layer between regular stone and deepslate, I think it looks really pretty. I may texture it up a little more, since for the most part, everything is either stone or deepslate while I decide how I want to add texture.

My plan for the branch mines is to widen and heighten the main tunnels and build something nice down there. I may also put a mini smelter array down there as well. I've considered a rail system as well, to take stuff back to the surface, but idk we'll see.

Also this was all triggered by Cub's last episode where I finally got inspired about what to do with my very broken first unenchanted diamond pickaxe to honour its service. It's down there on the floor for now, but it'll be somewhere more special later on once I get working on the design down there. I also have an amethyst farm down there as well that I want to do something pretty with other than just have the amethyst buds sitting there carved out of the stone.

Also I have finally caved and decided that I am going to have to do a Bdubs and ride everywhere bc my base is just so. long. omg. XD It's faster to ride to the fishing shack to get fish to tame a cat than it is to walk lol. I did bag myself another Jellie cat though! :D

Oh. And I finally put efficiency iv on my silk touch pick. Which, okay, it's not eff v, but hey, it had no efficiency at all before now, so. XD It's a vast improvement.

[vastly-fixated-devotee-667]

god this one was so long and i again do not feel compelled to lend them notes but if they get to share their opinion i can share my opinion on their opinion 😋 as any mature adult would do /lh

starting off with claims of having “played through it multiple times” so they’re “qualified to say it blows”… and yet — spoiler alert — being clearly ignorant to important parts of canon, including character names. but anyway

it is completely a you problem if you aren’t compelled by the characters. Jesse’s character is molded by how you play them, so their character is dependent on you. Petra is badass and her arc incredibly written, especially in season 2. Lukas is a lovable sweetheart. Ivor is a mysterious-villain-turned-silly-old man. Jack is a tough adventurer with a devastating backstory. Radar is the ingenue who starts out squeamish and blossoms into a brave, selfless hero. the Admins are beautifully written with heartbreaking backstories. and that’s not to mention all of the smaller characters that are so goofy, endearing, or even completely hateable. in any case, if you let them, all of the characters will make you feel something when they intend to.

i think it’s pretty well-established that folks don’t often go out at night. in the first episode, when they have to chase Reuben into the forest, Jesse gets really nervous when night falls. on the other hand, we know that places like Beacontown are probably kept well-lit at night so that mobs won’t spawn and are closed off from the outside boundaries so none of them can come from the outside in. i think even places like EnderCon were arranged as such. as for combat, all of the characters seem to have at least some decent ability to combat monsters. and Jesse never acts like they’ve never seen a creeper before. and it’s never established that nobody but Petra knows how to craft a pickaxe?

it’s actually a very important part of the first episode that Petra did, in fact, provide the Ocelots with a nether star. it isn’t specified how she got it. perhaps she traded somebody else for it. perhaps she did spawn and kill a Wither for it. not every aspect of the game has to be explained and spoonfed to the player. especially this — Petra was supposed to be viewed as cool and mysterious. we weren’t meant to know her methods.

also, i would presume that not everyone is doing what she does because they have different personalities and preferences. similar to how real people play minecraft. some people like to focus on the creative building aspects like Lukas. some people like messing around with redstone like Olivia. and some people do like to go face crazy monsters and explore dangerous places like Petra. and Jesse does express how impressed they are about the life Petra leads!

(what i mentioned before… Ivor was a huge character and if you played the game so many times how could you not remember his name 😭 it’s just very hard to take criticism seriously when it’s clear op might not exactly know what they’re talking about)

the Command Block was found by Soren, not Ivor. it isn’t explained how he found it, nor does it have to be — like i said, not every aspect of everything has to be tied up in a neat little bow. come up with it yourself if you need an explanation lol. Soren misused the Command Block by creating a legacy for the Order of the Stone that didn’t really exist otherwise, and as soon as their legend was sealed, he put its use up for good. he knew it was too dangerous for any one person to have control of. Ivor stole it from him — but Ivor didn’t have bad intentions, either. he only wanted to expose the OotS for what they were: fakes. he didn’t want to become a god. and the Command Block wasn’t just a power source for the Witherstorm; it was sort of like its heart and its brain, yes, but it is what created the Witherstorm. it wouldn’t have been a Witherstorm without it; it would’ve just been a normal Wither.

i just… don’t really know what they’re on about here. when is anybody clueless to how the universe works? Jesse and their friends don’t know everything, of course, but how could they? they haven’t been all around the world and experienced every aspect of the universe. and it was established that only one thing could kill the Witherstorm: Ivor’s specially-crafted enchantment. nothing else made a dent on the Command Block, not even the F-Bomb. i don’t think any of the basic minecraft actions could’ve helped.

the mcsm team was actually comprised mainly of minecraft fans! especially one of the lead writers, Eric Stirpe; he worked hard to keep the game faithful to minecraft. and if the criterion for a “cash grab” is simply a game based off of popular media, then i guess that’s all telltale ever made lol

anyway idc if you don’t like the game but can you STOP maintagging your “criticism” posts. we fans who look for content under those tags don’t want to see people just hating on the things we love

guys i think we are celebrating mcsm a little too close to the sun… people are starting to invade our tags with half-baked criticism…

[infxrity]

♡ — Playing Minecraft Together

Genre - Headcanons, Crack?

Featuring - Kuroo, Tsukishima, Kageyama

Warnings - None

Reader - Unspecified, Gender Neutral

a/n - click here trust me anyways reblog’s are very swag

You and Kuroo focus on the most unimportant things. I can see him traveling for days to find a parrot and when he finally finds one it’s not the color he wants. When he eventually comes back with a red parrot he’ll build a whole house just for it. If you kill the parrot because he’s most likely giving it more attention than he’s giving you, Kuroo will mourn for a while (he made a grave and everything) but then he’ll build this execution set up and say the only way for you to atone for your sins is to die. Offer him a cat and maybe he’ll forgive you. He probably also made these automatic redstone farms that give you way too much crops. You kill each other all the time just cus. You’ll be punching each other with your fist and then he’ll randomly put on his armor and pull out his enchanted netherite sword 🗿

Kageyama doesn’t know what he’s doing. You’ll have to teach him the basics first. When night comes he tries to take on a skeleton with a wooden sword and when he dies he’ll probably rage quit. If you convince him to play with you again he’ll make you fight all the mobs. He still finds some creative way to die though, like falling into a random raveen, accidentally causing a forest fire, hitting a zombie pigman, drowning, or finding a creeper in a forest. If you two go to the nether he'll probably try mining obsidian for a long time with an iron pickaxe until he realizes he’s not getting any of it and you tell him to use the diamond one. And then he’ll go “I didn’t make a diamond pickaxe, I put the diamonds on display.” Playing with him will be fun basically 💀

Tsukishima and you two infiltrate a village and become the new mayors. Is it a good thing? Maybe. You bring both good and bad things to the village like building more (better) houses, farms, a town hall etc. but you’ll has both also do dumb things that jeopardizes the safety of it. One of you accidentally triggered a raid and you sent Tsukishima to sacrifice himself while you attempted to get the villages to safety. You also decided to have a nether portal in a cave that’s near the village for aesthetic purposes and then mobs started coming through and you had to deal with that. There’s a graveyard somewhere in the village too but it’s mostly not your fault. The villagers somehow find a way to accidentally kill themselves and Tsukishima witnesses one of these. For the sign on his grave he put “You will not be missed”

© infxrity don’t steal my work Tris and Bambi are watching

[certifiedgreys]

Bioshock 2 drill build

#Bioshock 2 drill build mods

#Bioshock 2 drill build code

#Bioshock 2 drill build series

The first BioShock was a critically acclaimed hit, and was highly regarded as the game of 2007. It introduced you to the underwater world of Rapture, put you up against Big Daddies, and delivered a unique and engaging story. 2K Games hopes to perfect the world of Rapture with the sequel, BioShock 2. Your second trip to Rapture will hand you a Bid Daddy suit and a drill and will also throw you in a ring of Splicers for some multiplayer fun.

#Bioshock 2 drill build series

#Bioshock 2 best plasmids seriesīioShock 2 has the heavy task of reintroducing us to the world of Rapture, and establishing Bioshock as a series and not just a one hit wonder. The story of BioShock 2 takes place ten years after the original game. You take on the role of a prototype Big Daddy, commonly referred to as, Subject Delta you are also the first Big Daddy to be bonded with a Little Sister. It just so happens that the Little Sister is Elanor Lamb, the daughter of Sofia Lamb who is the antagonist of BioShock 2. The applications of Winter Blast outside a combat perspective might. It is an active Plasmid that instantly freezes a target enemy or object at the cost of EVE. Give your foes the cold shoulder with Winter BlastPlasmid advertisement Winter Blast is a Plasmid available in BioShock, BioShock 2, and the BioShock 2 Multiplayer. Your Little Sister is taken from you while you’re left for dead, and after waking up your only task is to get her back. Don't get caught without this powerful self-defense tool at the ready.

#Bioshock 2 drill build mods

10 Minecraft Mods 1 The Diamond Drill can be made by combining 3 1 BioShock Research. That is the story of BioShock 2 in simple terms, but there is way more to it as you progress and find audio diaries. Pickaxes are crafted using 2 sticks and 3 identical units of tool. You will learn the origins behind some of the things that make up Rapture, and although Sofia Lamb is no Andrew Ryan, BioShock 2 still has some good characters to follow the story. You’ll get the most out of the story if you played the first game, but first timers could get through it with a few minor confusions. BioShock 2 delivers a good story that is easier to digest but it doesn’t top the first. Playing as a Big Daddy in BioShock 2 has its advantages on the gameplay. Possibly this weekend.For starters, you can now duel-wield a plasmid and a gun, which eliminates having to switch back and forward between plasmids and guns. It also work when your charging so the splicer shooting you will do no damage unless there is another one shooting you on the side. You can just but your back to a wall and deflect all those shots. It's not a bad game by any means and a 5th 1999 playthrough with a different build sounds good. Its useful when a bunch of bots start shooting you. I plan to revisit it in the near future, if I am going to be honest here. With that in mind, it would be refreshing if we could have a discussion about Infinite as a retrospective. More times than not, I will still blame myself, even if the combat is shit, because I am the type to adapt to shitty gameplay, or even lag in some instances and dominate. Sometimes gameplay isn't so refined and I question whether it's me or the game that led to a gameover screen. If I died I always felt it was on me and that's how I like it. EVerything felt solid, tight and fine tuned. Personally, I didn't have a single problem with gameplay from any of the games. A single player shooter that stood out from the rest.ġ is still the best, Infinite is second and 2 a distant 3rd.

#Bioshock 2 drill build code

Regardless of 2 playing it safe it was great for what it was and still is. Each door Reward Adonis Luxury Resort: Plasmid Therapy Door Code > You will find: Audio diary (Fitness), money, drill fuel Paupers Drop: Fontaine Clinics. It was definitely more fun than 2 did have it's moments. Get stopped during progression by major battle, flood of enemies, repeat. Infinite was a pretty fun game, but after about half way through it felt more formulaic. So with that said, I'd say my opinion holds some amount of weight in attempting to contribute to the topic. I've played though all of them and got all of their achievements. I enjoyed 1, but 2 felt a bit more on rails.

[aonogifreactions]

Minecraft headcanons no one asked for

a/n: olcvfgmlkfm this hit me so randomly i dont even know. enjoy!! under the cut due to length!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Amaimon.

★ Words: 1,6k.

Rin:

this sweetheart loves playing with you whenever you ask him to! it relaxes him a lot, plus just having fun with you is making him really happy.

he stays somewhere near you, ALWAYS. he’s way too embarrassed to admit he’s scared (same Rin, same), so whenever he yelps or jumps on his bed because he heard a zombie growl, you can laugh as much as you want, but don’t be surprised if he shoots a glare at you and pouts.

he’ll bring you whatever you want. wood? fine. iron? no problem, he’s already on his way to find a cave (even if he’s afraid of caves.. he’ll do it for you).

he’s not very good at building, so usually he leaves it to you, and it doesn’t really matter whether you live in a “house” made out of dirt or a full ass mansion; no matter what your building skills are, he’s gonna praise you anyway.

sucks at parkour. DON’T ask him to play a parkour map, he’s gonna whine and barely make one jump.

speaking about bad jumping, he’s really clumsy and somehow always ends up with the highest death streak. for example, he’s sprinting to kill a pig, but somehow doesn’t notice a fucking lava pool below him and jumps right into it. accidentally hits a zombie piglin (or pigman, depends on what version you play on) and he’s dead.

HOWEVER, he’s the guy who gets really lucky. do you remember/have a person/friend that always manages to get diamonds first? yep, it’s him. gets the best enchants. both on books and tools or armor. he also gets the ender dragon kill first too.

he won’t play without optifine and texture pack other than the default one. he hates it. his fave is faithful and if it doesn’t work, he’s constantly commenting on how the default one is hurting his eyes.

he will NOT survive listening to both disc “11″ and “13″ he hates it. don’t play it unless you want him to cry.

hasn’t played alpha nor beta versions, but he likes watching vids of it! he gets very nostalgic, which honestly bewilders him because he started playing way after beta. sometimes you can catch him listening to the old soundtrack all teared up, or falling asleep to it.

LOVES GREEN PARROTS. one of them is named after you.

MAY I INFORM YOU, HE DOES PLACE HIS BED TOGETHER WITH YOURS.

Yukio:

unlike rin, he’s always complaining about you asking him to play, but he’s obviously gonna do it (because he loves u,, even if he says he doesn’t). it also relaxes him, but mostly, he likes it because he’s able to get his mind off of “adult things” and finally get some rest.

wooo, he’s the brave one. he isn’t afraid of zombie gurgles or anything like that, so he’s always going to caves first (and gets lost because he’s literally going deeper and deeper FDMKFMV). however, there’s one thing that always startles him... cave sounds. he doesn’t scream, but if you’re near him, you can sometimes witness his character spinning or jerking his head in another direction because of it vcxkvnjhbv

don’t, i repeat, dON’T make fun of him afterward. he’s gonna go all the way back to you and kill you (and then go back mining.. like nothing happened).

the perfectionist. always mines all the resources he sees; during building something he also always makes sure everything’s proportional. gladly counts blocks for you, if your brain can’t work anymore.

now, building! not very skilled with building houses, but he likes building simple decorations, like fountains, gardens or farms. despite him always claiming it’s bad, his work always looks very detailed. not very good with ideas of those things at first, so mainly at the beginning he always finds some inspirations on the internet, but later gets the hang of it and builds his own ideas!

his favorite place to have a house in is somewhere near the ocean.

likes default textures. too used to have anything else.

doesn’t like listening to in-game music, unless it’s something from beta or alpha versions (like “Haggstorm” or “Wet Hands”). Usually listening to his own favorite songs on Spotify.

His favorite disc is “Far”. It used to be “Cat”, but due to him obtaining it like 3000 times he stopped liking it. nor hearing it anywhere near.

when he goes out to get resources and/or food, he comes back with full inventory and shulkers, just like a father that’s about to feed his kids. minimum 10 stacks of iron, coal blocks and food. the nearest 10k chunks of caves is already explored, so you better be ready for a long, lONG WALK to get something new.

he’s also fond of beta versions, but rarely plays them without you.

Mephisto:

this motherfucker wants to literally speedrun every fucking game. meanwhile you’re busy making a wooden pick, he’s out there typing “can’t wait to beat the dragon and get elytras~! ★”

remembers literally every recipe for all items and alchemy. personal minecraft wikipedia right there.

he MUST have a fucking mansion, otherwise, he isn’t playing. fortunately, he’s tried building before, so he’s perfectly capable of building one himself. it’s all made out of pink wool and concrete, along with white concrete accents here and there. 

adding to the previous one, he also has a great decorating sense. the rooms look very good, space is filled nicely and is both pretty and practical. the mansion itself looks very good on outside and inside.

of course, the main bedroom that’s designed especially for you two looks WAY TOO GOOD. I'm not even gonna start on him messing with plugins and making it even prettier.

his skin is a random, pink anime girl.

master with redstone. everything’s automated, there also might be hidden rooms with surprises. there’s a hidden shrine dedicated for you. he hasn’t told you about that though... >_>

even though he gets many useful things from the swamp biome, like lily pads or that cyan flowers, he hates this biome with a burning passion. if he sees it anywhere near his render distance he’s spasming and immediately voicing his annoyance. hates that specific, “dirty and unsightly” green water and grass color.

he doesn’t do much mining, but happily goes with you if you ask him to. even if he has no armor on, he never dies. NEVER. there might be 6 creepers but he somehow survives their explosion.

not scared at all. he knows this game like the back of his hand. he might, however, attempt to scare YOU instead. on purpose. or accidentally hit you so you fall from a large height and die. if you get upset at him afterward, he’s gonna give you even better stuff you’ve had before.

HE LOVES PLAYING ALPHA AND BETA. he started to play probably around very early alpha, so coming back to such simpler times is making him somewhat nostalgic (even if he denies it). on those versions, he builds things that used to be popular back in the day, like simple towers of cobblestone or houses inside mountains. it hits him hard when old soundtrack plays.

Amaimon:

he’s very, very confused. first off, he’s not used to the game at all, but then, he googles almost any recipe or asks you thousands of questions about how to make things. after some time, he finally figures out that there’s a book with recipes in game.

he might steal your items, but usually, he gives you back better items. for example, you notice your iron pickaxe is missing, but suddenly he sprints into the house and throws at you diamonds.

oh, he’s aware of the existence of chests, but for some reason, he likes throwing various items at you. he runs off afterward, leaving you with everything on the ground.

don’t introduce him to bedrock edition, he hates playing minecraft with a gamepad, and will smash it immediately. java edition is the only help for this man.

he’s also clumsy, like Rin. he manages to do that less than him somehow, but he tends to die pretty often anyway. his deaths are the stupidest, sometimes he doesn’t even bother explaining it. he literally can die with gravel suffocating him.

once he goes to the nether, he doesn’t wanna go back to the overworld. he says something along the lines of it being similar to gehenna or whatever, but. no matter what version it is - pre- or post- update 1.16, he likes it and that’s it.

his favorite biome in the overworld is jungle - mostly because of the lively color of grass, but also tall trees. he likes having there treehouses and always asks if you can build one (because he sucks at building. even worse than Rin >_>). his fave in the nether is blue forest or basalt biome - however, he becomes mad quickly on the second one due to frequent gaps filled with lava and magma cubes.

he likes normal slimes though. he even has a pet slime!! QwQ

he named his pet slime after Behemoth. keeps it safe in a glass cube and checks on it regularly. Behemoth doesn’t know about it doe.

he bullies every single villager that’s within his sight. burns their homes. the only thing that survives is the iron golem because he thinks it’s cool.

plays with the basic Steve skin. partially because he doesn’t know how to change it and that he isn’t determined enough to look for any.

forgets that crouching exist and falls off almost every cliff or anything that’s considered high.

[violexides]

The DreamSMP Explained (By Someone Who Has Never Watched Any DreamSMP Stream)

cracks knuckles. okay, fucking FINALLY doing this. ahem. 

Couple things to preface with, will keep this brief. 

This isn’t entirely blind. One of my best friends has helped out in places, just because I wanted to hit on everything (accurate or not), and I know mutuals/friends who post and write about DreamSMP (though how much of that is AU or canon-typical, I can’t say. I can’t tell). I’ve never seen a single stream, but I’ve seen a few clips. So, my understanding is a bit more than the title may imply, but still not a lot. Sorry.

Also, this will be very, very long (near 2k words). All under the cut, will TW this with themes of abuse, death, manipulation, unreality, hallucinations, and me having an abrasive sense of humor where I revel in the glee of calling these guys European twinks. Though, speaking of. This is ALL about the actual characters, not the people. I don’t know anything about most of these actual streamers, so, no hate to them. In fact, I think they’re pretty cool for having come up with a… somewhat coherent… narrative, all through using Minecraft as a medium. Anyway.

Sigh. Without further ado, 

So. There’s this place. Made by Philza, AKA God, AKA one of like six different gods. Philza, born from the womb acting like someone’s 43 year old uncle, has three kids. Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. There are other people here, with some scattered ancestry that raises some questions, but I don’t really care who fucked an Enderman and had an 8’0 tall kid (Ranboo DNI).

There are also places! Sometimes! On a good day, there are actual, intact locations. We’ve got hits like “The Badlands”, which I think was taken from about three different dystopian novels I read in third grade, “El Rapids” (Quackity, Subpoena (autocorrect wins this round), and Karl made this one), “Pogtopia”, no comment on this one, and “L’Manberg”, which Wilbur made. 

Only one of these is going to be important.

So, might be a good time to say this: I don’t know what the inciting incident of DreamSMP is? I don’t know what was the catalyst for all this shit, but I’m going to take a guess and say Wilbur blowing up L’Manberg had something to do with it.

… That’s going to be a pattern, by the way. Just. Stick with me here. 

So, Wilbur is an older child who read the Hamlet parts in literature class and can only cope by ripping down the very creations he has and taking the entire world down with him to hell. Which is to say, he throws a pity party after Jschlatt (some bitch who abused Quackity, that’s another trend, yippee) wins an election and decides to blow up the fucking kingdom and kill Jschlatt.

Little does Wilbur know, the devil may work fast, but Jschlatt getting a fucking stroke and dying out of nowhere works faster. 

I’m not kidding. He gets a stroke, he dies, and Tubbo takes over. I’ve tried to puzzle out the government structure of DreamSMP for a while and have drawn zero conclusions. In any case, Wilbur also tells Philza, his… father…, to kill him. And Philza fucking does? For some reason, like, holy shit.

Anyway. Wilbur is now a ghost. So is Jschlatt. The… life system, on this server, is really strange and I don’t know how to fully explain it. Just know that nothing has permanence here. 

I’m going to throw this out here because I don’t know when it’s relevant, but I wrote down something about Karl being in a place called the In Between. I don’t know how the hell he got there or what the hell he’s doing. This might be where the discs are? I can’t explain the discs. I… think they are fighting over the discs? Don’t know why, Wilbur makes music himself, I feel like you have enough to go around.

(Stream Saline Solution it reminds me of my best friend only if you want okay thx)

L’Manberg gets blown up again. This time, Techno did it. He did it just after giving this speech about Theseus, which, jokes aside-- the writing of DreamSMP is actually really good. That was all done on improv, and I did watch an animatic with some of the audio from it, and damn. I’m a whore for metaphor and I love this for him.

This happens, and Ranboo and Tommy decide to do a little hehe and burn down George’s house. Who is George? Good question: a king. Of what? Good question: call me the antithesis of a Ranboo kinnie and get me some discs because I hear no answers.

Dream gets pissed off by this (who gave him authority, I don’t know) and builds a wall. He for some reason decides that if Tommy, and only Tommy, breaks some rules, the wall will stay up forever. So, naturally, Tommy immediately yells at him, and Tubbo gets pissed (what happened to the whole, who are you without me, yourself, thing?). Dream exiles him, which is bad enough, but then Dream burns down his house, so now he’s double exiled.

Dream kins Julius Caesar but Julius Caesar does not kin Dream and I think that’s important. 

(It had to be important enough for me to literally go back and edit this in, for no reason, because I think I’m really fucking hilarious.) 

Techno takes in Tommy and shows him his super secret cave of evil, which Tommy promptly screams at. Philza and Ranboo visit sometimes, but mostly Tommy just sits there. Dream says “fuck you” to Techno, but Techno decides to wage war on L’Manberg, so Quackity and co. come over to try and kill Techno, but Techno kills Quackity with a pickaxe, but Quackity has three lives for some reason, and then Dream blames Ranboo for blowing something up for literally zero reason, and can you tell how tired I am.

Ranboo sees a smiley face in his notebook and zones the fuck out while Dream tries to kill… Tommy? No, Tubbo. No, fuck, no it was Tommy. I don’t know why people suddenly care about it n- NO, NO IT WAS TUBBO, he is TRYING to kill TUBBO. 

I hate Europeans. 

Ahem. Dream goes to jail, but he has books in jail, which is a horrible idea. Everyone knows that if you give a war criminal some novels he’ll accidentally haunt someone else’s dreams and launch psychological warfare with the prison guard, Sam, who has zero idea what he’s doing because he probably didn’t sign up for this.

Also, I’m gonna say this here because I don’t know when it will fit in. There’s this place. Called… the Egg. Now, I don’t know what goes on in the Egg. I don’t know what the Egg is. I don’t know who decided to name all these fucking things, because I think the Egg is just a box made of bedrock. I think Ranboo hallucinates about it, but Ranboo hallucinates about everything so I’m not really sure. I’m going to call it here and say that this is probably a bad sign.

People are trying to talk to Dream. First BadBoyHalo, who gives Ranboo this little note from Dream with a smiley face. Or maybe that was SapNap. Either way, Ranboo hallucinates seeing Dream, and then actually sees Dream but he thinks he’s hallucinating? I don’t know. 

Then we get Tommy. Basically he kind of comes in here and Sam, being a good prison guard, allows Dream to beat Tommy to death and then revive him (don’t ask about the revivals just pretend it makes sense please). He tells Tommy he’s also going to revive Wilbur which Tommy isn’t a big fan of, considering that Wilbur, uh. Vague hand gestures. You get the schtick. Hopefully. I don’t know.

Anyway. Uh. Quackity loses his shit, also.

As in he talks to Jschlatt, the ghost of his abusive husband. Makes a deal-- if Quackity here loses, he revives Jschlatt. I don’t know what the winning conditions are, but, thankfully, they don’t matter because Quackity loses damn near instantly. 

So he goes to Dream and Sam gives him really powerful gear for no reason. Dream is a bit terrified by this situation, and Quackity is like “give me the fucking book”, and then we never find out what happens because Quackity ends up covered in blood about to blow up El Rapids. I hadn’t expected to mark Quackity off on the demolitionist bingo, but hey, all’s fair I guess. My next bets are on Tubbo or whichever bitch became god of the sea. 

(I also made a joke to my friend about me kinning Quackity (the character not the streamer could you fucking imagine), to which they said “you’d torture someone for information”? So. I guess Dream, uh. Hm. That explains why Quackity was bloodied. Uh. Oops. Don’t know why he’s playing Poker, though.)

So, for my sanity, as we come to a close, I’m going to start listing lore details that I don’t know nearly enough about but are probably important. Just… bullet point them. Might be a bit tacky of me but I have shit to do, dammit. By that I mean, I don’t have shit to do, but I’ve had this doc open for literally 1-2 weeks and I just want to be freed.

List Of Other Shit That Happened:

Ranboo started an arg, so there’s a character named Z now. Can’t believe the kid I knew in middle school who didn’t know where the Middle East  was made it into the dreamSMP omg! 

Tubbo did something immoral, and we still don’t know who his dad is. By we, I mean me. 

Eret exists. That’s all I’ve got for this one. They’re important. Probably.

Karl hallucinated six versions of himself and left the In Between to go to hell. (Lil Nas X girlboss gaslight gatekeep in this motherfucker!!!)

Ranboo and Tubbo got married because taxes exist </3

More on this last point: they opened a hotel, despite Tubbo being a king, and Tommy got mad at them for getting engaged without his permission. But Tommy was literally dead when they had the wedding so I’m not exactly sure what he was expecting. Either way, he’s fine with it now.

Kids getting adopted oh shit oh fuck. Also, mpreg is canotical. Make this what you will. 

DreamXD is a god now. I don’t know who DreamXD is. I don’t think anybody else does either.

I’m like 60% sure George is dead. 

I’m like 60% sure Philza is immortal.

Going through my ‘notes’ to make sure I didn’t miss anything and I’m just getting more confused, so I think I’m going to call it here. Props to everyone in the dreamSMP for creating kickass lore, I would not summarize any of it ever again if you held me at fucking gunpoint, and thanks to my mutuals/friends for letting me ask a lot of really stupid questions as I try to puzzle this out. And also, another thanks to you all for reading this. I hope to God this was funny. 

I really, really, really fucking hope that Tumblr doesn’t cut this off for a long character count. This is longer than some of my fucking oneshots. My God. This was so fun, don’t get me wrong, but I also want a hit of a candy cigarette. Make it two, actually. Or three. All at once. 

Anyway. Drink some water, stay safe, and remember that statistically speaking, 100% of people with a name starting with “T” need to put down the Greek mythology books and learn about the ethics behind pyromania. Goodbye, Theseus. 

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Field of Flowers

Written for the Kidge Spring Event! 

Prompt 7: Daffodil | Unequaled Love, New Beginnings

Summary: It was just another normal day for Youtuber Katie "Pidge" Holt. She and her boyfriend were going to spend a few hours recording some stuff in Minecraft for their channels and then probably wrangle their friends into a few rounds of Among Us. Except Keith has a question designed to derail all of those plans. 

Also posted on AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune

❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀

Pidge settled in at her desk and took a look around to make sure there was nothing odd in the background of her webcam. There was only her cat, Tesla, who was relaxing in his carpeted tree, which was sure to thrill her viewers. On the desk in front of her were two monitors, one which displayed all of her recording details, as well as the service she and her boyfriend were using to communicate while they played. The bigger monitor was showing the main screen of Minecraft.

She put on her headphones and adjusted her mic. “Keith, can you hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear you. Everything all set up?” he asked.

Pidge glanced up at her webcam as she nodded. “Yup! I'm just going to put you on mute to run through my intro and then we can get started. You can hop in if you want and I'll join once I'm ready.”

“Sounds good. I'll see you in a few.”

She quickly muted the audio for his channel and gave it a few seconds to make sure she couldn't hear him as he loaded up their game. Then she sat up straight and began recording. “Hey, everyone! I'm TechOwl and today we'll be jumping back into Minecraft with the always handsome KHawkins. As always, there will be a link to his channel in the description and I encourage you to check out his stuff as well.”

Pidge hit join and easily found their usual world, typing in the password so she could join. She waited to unmute until the world had loaded in and caught Keith in mid-sentence when she did.

“...tower and arming it with bows and arrows, so I'll need to expand the chicken farm. Pidge will probably – hi, Pidge – probably help with harvesting flint,” Keith said.

“I'll see what I can gather up while I'm mining,” Pidge said as she opened her inventory to try and remember where she left off. She had a whole row of iron pickaxes and plenty of wood and coal, so she had probably come up to drop off everything in the vault beneath their house and to grab some food. “Actually, let me see what's in the Vault first.”

“You're back at the house?”

“Yeah, I think I was getting food. My bar's pretty low,” Pidge responded. She directed her character through the trapdoor in the corner and rode the ladder down 25 blocks to a room she'd carved out during their first few videos together. Double chests lined the walls and also had signs to go along with them. She went to the section for stones and took a peek into the box labeled 'gravel'. “We only have a stack of it. I'll go find more once I get some food. There's probably a vein of it somewhere in my tunnels that I haven't bothered collecting yet.”

“It'll be a while before I need it, so there's no real rush,” Keith told her. “I still have to build the watchtower and I won't get to that until I'm finished with the gardens.”

Pidge frowned as she went back up the ladder to get into the food chest in their house. “I thought we had way more gravel than that. Have you used any?”

“I used a few stacks of that and the sand to make some concrete a while back,” Keith said.

Pidge guessed that meant they were nearly out of sand as well. It was a bit of a venture to get to the desert biome where she'd harvested most of it, but that could wait for a while. “Anything else I can mine for you, oh-masterful-builder-of-the-world-above?”

“No, I think that's about it,” Keith responded, his tone light. “I thank you for your service, oh-lady-of-the-deep-earth.”

Pidge snorted with amusement as she grabbed a stack of food and ate until her hunger bar was full. She kept a few cooked pork chops in her inventory and put the rest back before turning to go back down into the complex labyrinth of her mine. She got halfway down the ladder before she swore and turned to go back up and fetch more wood, filling up the empty slots in her inventory so she could drop off the extras into the Vault. She kept one full stack of 64 wood blocks on her and then ventured through the double doors leading into the mine.

Pidge spent the next hour combing over her tunnels and collecting any gravel she came across using the iron shovels she specifically built for that purpose. She also collected a decent number of chunks of flint and took all of it back up to the surface with her once she was through.

All the while, she and Keith carried on a conversation for the sake of entertaining their audiences – their banter was often something that was most talked about between their fanbases, with numerous jokes gaining meme-like status. Their friends were fond of quoting those memes back at them whenever they played games together.

“Hey, where do you want all of this gravel and flint?” Pidge asked once she was back in the house. Once again, she had to pause to grab a snack from their food chest as she started taking hunger damage.

“Gravel can stay down there. I have a double chest at the bottom of the watchtower. The flint... yeah, go ahead and bring the flint up to me. I'm at the top. You should look over the edge and check out the garden from up here too. I'll stand on the side you should look over,” Keith said, sounding as though he was leaning away from his microphone. “Hang on, I've gotta run and get something. Go ahead and come up.”

“On my way,” Pidge responded.

She left the house and then looked up, spotting the watchtower immediately. It was a massive wooden structure that stretched high into the sky, though it didn't look like it was all the way up to the build height. She stopped at the base to drop off the stacks of gravel and then hopped on the ladder and rode it all the way to the top. It was there that she found Keith's character standing motionless to one side.

“I'll just drop these off here first,” Pidge said, cracking open the single chest that was next to the ladder. She dropped off the 24 flints and then backed out of the inventory so she could enjoy the sky-high view of the gardens that Keith had spent several sessions working on.

She hopped up on the side where he was standing and looked down. She could see the food garden off to one side, stretching down along the plot of land they took the time to flatten out. To the left of them was a field of flowers and as she looked at them, she realized they spelled something out.

“Wait...” she breathed as her mind caught up with what she was seeing.

Spelled out with red flowers was the question: “Will you marry me?”

Pidge tugged off her headphones and turned in her chair, ready to run downstairs and confront her boyfriend, but he was already there in her office, waiting for her with that soft smile on his face. “Keith?”

He walked into the room and knelt down in front of her, taking her hand with his own. “I've been in love with you from the first day we met. I didn't know it at the time. It took a few people pointing it out to me. Or, well, a lot of people,” he chuckled, “but eventually I figured it out. I never thought I would have the opportunity to find such happiness in my life and it's thanks to you that I have. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without you in it.”

Pidge hiccuped as she tried to breathe in, reaching up to cover her mouth even as tears of happiness began to spill from her eyes. “Keith...”

Keith cracked open a tiny black box and held it out for Pidge to see the slender silver ring inside. It was inset with three green jewels – not the traditional diamond, but she'd never been fond of those anyway. “Katie Holt, will you marry me?”

She nodded, swallowing thickly so she could try and get the words out. “Yes! Yes, I will.” She slid out of her chair with a breathless laugh and into his arms, unable to wait until he could slip the ring onto her finger. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and then another and another until Keith was shaking from laughter and had to ask if she even wanted the ring.

Pidge pulled away from him, a great big smile on her face as she held out her hand in response, allowing him to put the ring on her finger. And then she dove right back in, kissing him with all that she had to make up for her lack of words.

❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀

Bonus Scene

“Coran! Coran, you have to come see this!” Allura shouted in excitement.

She could hear him running down the hall from his office, where he was working on editing their newest video together, and was soon striding over to her side while asking if everything was alright. Allura responded with a smile and by hitting play on what she had been watching.

“...-ver the edge and check out the garden from up here too. I'll stand on the side you should look over,” Keith's voice came through the speakers.

Allura eagerly watched Coran and knew the exact moment when Keith's proposal was revealed by the way Coran suddenly squealed in delight. She glanced back at the screen in time to watch it fade away from the flowers and then fade back in with a photo of Pidge and Keith, who were smiling at the camera. Pidge held up her left hand so a beautiful ring could be seen. It was also accompanied by the words: “She said yes!”

“How exciting!” Coran said, grinning broadly. “We must do something to celebrate! Dinner, perhaps? I'll call Hunk and begin preparations!”

Before Allura could agree or disagree with his idea, Coran was gone. She laughed softly and took out her phone to send out a warning to the rest of the group so they wouldn't be too blindsided.

It was certainly an event worth celebrating.

[jaideite]

Main 1-A (shoto, izuku, bakuhoe, and Iida) boys playing Minecraft with their s/o

*cries in ender pearls* I’m such a loser cause I don’t even remember most of everything that goes on in minecraft. Don’t @ me if something is wrong. Debating if I should buy Minecraft on my phone and play it

i felt bad bc i haven’t posted any good content so heres an old request ima shoot out the inbox for y’all I’m probably so rusty KWKD :(( <3

first time writing for Iida let’s see how well we do hMM ;))

TODOROKI, BAKUGOU, MIDORIYA AND IIDA PLAYING MINECRAFT WITH THEIR S/O (PLUS MIRIO TOGATA)

SHOTO TODOROKI

— doesn’t understand a single thing but still plays because you do

— he spawned into the world and moved two spaces

— he fell into a cave and survived

— then died because a cave spider attacked him

— “That’s rough buddy.”

— He’s one of those people who mines straight down and finds a whole bunch of diamonds

— “What are these light blue things in the stones?”

— “It’s an ore for a gem. You mine them and you get diamonds or emeralds. Is it like a really light blue?”

— you’re on like the other side of the cave you both went into so you can’t go over and mine them with a certain pickaxe you made specifically for mining

— you’re pissed because you always struggle to find them and here he is breaking the first rule of Minecraft and finding them

— jerk

— “So I should just get rid of them?”

— “Well I mean—“

— he throws them in lava and they make that burning “sss” sound and you just slowly look up at him from your screen

— “Shoto...what did you do with the diamonds?”

— he kinda just “oops” from his side of the room and you just rub your hands over your face and sigh

— “Oh god I’m in for a rude awakening.”

— he makes an underground farm and house and has collected sea lanterns as lights

— has collected all the diamonds in the world I’m not even kidding he just followed your rule of mining them with the gem pickaxe and diddly doo went off

— “This world sucks there are no diamonds.”

— “Oh I have some in the chest by my crafting table.”

— it’s literally a large chest and it’s full of diamonds

— like STACKS 64 DIAMONDS ALL TOGETHER

— you are just shook

— “sHOTO HOW—“

— lives in the side of a mountain too it’s actually kinda cute cause he used like stairs as chairs and stuff

— unless y’all are playing with some type of mod that allows chairs then other than that pfft your little “house” is decked out just like his bedroom

— your Minecraft beds are right next to each other too

— he thinks it’s romantic

— kinda looks more like an apartment lmaoo

— he’s more of a peaceful Minecraft player but he can survive survival mode if being asked to play

KATSUKI BAKUGOU

— blows everything up

— but not with TNT and flint and steel oh no that’s too easy for him

— the easy way is not for him

— he’s going to learn how to set redstone traps so you walk into them and don’t know

— you walk into your house and you hear the click

— “What just—“

— next thing you know your getting eaten by endermites that have been spawned in

— or your screen just freezes because of all the explosions that go off

— “No No No my stuff—“

— you just watch from the ‘respawn’ screen while he moves into your house to steal your stuff

— “Haha, I knew you had some good shit in here—fucking taking these— what the hell is hitting me—OH SHIT! NO FUCK OFF STUPID RAT LOOKING FUCKS NO DON’T FUCKING KILL ME—“

— your rolling on the floor at the situation of him raging cause the endermites killed him

— katsuki works hard but karma works harder bitch

— raids your stuff when all else fails

— “YOU TOOK ALL MY DIAMONDS?!”

— “They’re mine now bitch.”

— he is a survival mode player only

— no exceptions

— plays it at the hardest level and rages when he dies but manages to get the hang of it after a while

— the meanest and worst minecraft player to ever play with

— and on top of it all he only plays so he has your attention

— what a clown i swear

IZUKU MIDORIYA

— best one to play with tbh only second to mirio

— knows the basics and a little more

— if he made his own world he could survive pretty decently

— he keeps a notebook on the world you guys share with all the weapons and stuff you could need

— has memorized the most important potions needed like invisibility, etc.

— when you first made the world you had an icon that looked like you so you were looking for a little green haired character amongst the grass (assuming that’s where y’all spawned)

— and you are just so confused cause where is he

— “Izuku where the heck are you?”

— “By the flowers and grass.”

— “Oh no wonder I didn’t see you your hair probably—“

— and like once you finally get to the flowers you see him (or his character) and you just stop in your tracks

— cause there’s a tall, buff pixelated All Might staring back at you

— “Izuku—you know what? I ain’t even surprised.“

— “Haha...sorry.”

— you had to turn away because oh god the face on that thing was going to give you nightmares

— the armour—oh goodness the armour

— of course it’s customized to look like All Mights hero costume

— other than that—he’s a decent Minecraft player

— he has a secret world where he has built the city and all might fighting the villains

— it’s a huge flat world and it’s dedicated to all might

— he can survive pretty well at going off mining on his own but he won’t go without you just in case he dies and loses his stuff

— gets excited when he finds ores especially diamonds

— you get excited when you find emeralds because

— “Oh my god Izuku the emeralds look like your eyes.”

— all_mights_1_fan has left the game

— “Oh wow.”

TENYA IIDA

— y’all know those Minecraft books that they used to have that used to help you with like enchantments and stuff?

— Thats Iida

— he plays by the books

— has the complete handbook collection

— I do too lmaooo

— you ask him does he want to play and he just ??

— two days later he’s knocking at your door with the books in hand ready to play

— “I would suggest you go over these should we play!”

— “...Tenya—“

— when you guys play he immediately wants the rules

— “Theres only one.”

— “One—“

— “Don’t dig straight down.”

— he just stares at you mouth agape before he just starts going oFF

— “That rule is absurd! Surely there are more—“

— “NOpe that’s how you play.”

— he’s just ??

— no wonder you’re so chaotic you play games with oNE RULE

— what kind of g a m e has o n e r u l e ?

— so you guys are playing and yknow Iida isn’t having the best of luck

— he’s fallen into caves, burned by lava, and been buried alive by gravel and sand

— lowkey kinda feel bad for him lmaoo

— “This game is chaotic! At least these strange green fellows are coming to greet me.”

— “Strange green fellows?”

— “Yes! Some have no clothing on, but that’s alright!”

— you’re confused for a bit until it just it’s you

— “IIDA, NO, RUN, NO OH GOD DONT—“

— when the first creeper explodes and he goes flying and he starts scolding it for doing that you know you’re in for a ride

MIRIO TOGATA

— also best person to play with

— a combination of everyone lmaoo

— he’s like midoriya except no notebooks

— can also survive on his own but like not in hard mode like katsuki that demon

— you guys play mini games like bedwars and are definitely a couples teams just like in real life

— you guys are like pros at playing

— “Get that blue bed guy over there.”

— “You have a yellow bed behind you, watch out!”

— wholesome is what it is

— if you are like me and just chaotic at Minecraft and life

— which includes missing almost everything, forgetting the names of stuff, and building a little house on the side of a mountain for the next seven days and being scared of everything

— “Babe where are you?”

— “Uh...I’m... I’m in a cave.”

— “We are in the jungle how are you—“

— “I saw a pig and I wanted to kill it and on the way I just dropped into a hole in the ground.”

— poor mirio is just exasperated

— oh boy y’all are in for a ride

— best therapy for him if he gets depressed about the losing his quirk

[woorenergy]

Minecraft has been my latest hyperfixation, so may I present you : the sides playing Minecraft

Patton :

• Mostly plays in creative mode and spends his time building cute little houses

• Avoids playing during nighttime because of the spiders

• So. Many. Tammed. Cats. And. Wolves.

• Tried going into the Nether but fell into the lava after 2 minutes. Also it's scary and he doesn't trust the pig men

• Keeps literally everything he finds, from all his cobblestone to the wooden pickaxe he crafted when he started his game

Logan :

• Could easily speedrun the game if he wanted

• Sucks at fighting the monsters upfront, so he mainly uses a bow for this

• When he learned he could enchant weapons for the first time, he lost his mind

• His underground tunnels are so huge he always gets lost in them. He forgot how many hours he spent digging them and doesn't want to know

Roman :

• If he doesn't have at least 12 horses, is it really a good game ?

• Already built a castle, found diamond and went into the Nether after 3 hours playing

• Often in competition with Logan to know which one's the fastest to finish the game

• Always in a RP mindset whenever he plays

• Flower biome is his favorite biome

• Also in competition with Remus to know who builds the prettiest castles and mansions. The others can never decide on a winner

Virgil :

• Also a big fan of creative mode ; he's improving at building haunted houses

• When Logan told him he couldn't tame a spider, he almost stopped playing

• He once died to a pillager, and he never got over it. "I was just minding my own business in my village, breeding my cows, killing some skeletons, and these motherfuckers think they can just come here and kill everyone ? RAIDS SUCK."

• He likes hanging out with Patton and help him make progress in his game

• He's kinda spooked by Ghasts

Janus :

• Won't stop whining about the fact snakes and lizards aren't in the game

• "Is the Ender Dragon supposed to be a representation of my kind ? No thanks."

• Overprotective of the villagers

• Enjoys discovering new biomes and exploring the ocean floor

• Learned how to make traps with Remus' help and messes with Patton and Roman all the time (Logan and Virgil can spot them from miles away though)

• Accidentally tamed a wolf and doesn't have the heart to kill or abandon it

Remus :

• Has dozen of games, but didn't finish it once

• Sometimes borrows his brother's game to mess with it

• Was really upset when he found out you couldn't join the pillagers

• Eventually moved all of his stuff to live into the Nether

• Managed to adopt/kidnap every single kind of animal he could find and lets them wander around his mansion

• Maps ? Who are they ? We go on adventures and die stupidly like men

• Has an army of golems. They don't actually defend him nor his mansion, but he's proud of them

[justphilia]

Mob Psycho Characters Playing Minecraft (Headcanons)

Shigeo

He starts with creative mode, just to get the gist of it, before finally heading into survival but on peaceful. Then he’ll do survival easy mode and just stay on that tier forever, until he feels more confident to up his game a little higher.

Only played because Telepathy club was playing and he heard the word “Mob” and was like; “Did you call me?” and the club goes “nah fam, it Minecraft.” “what’s Minecraft.” Boom he plays.

Most likely to have a farm with a lot of cows

Has a dirt house/villager’s house on the first night and stops at just that.

Not much of a great builder

Takes forever to get diamonds

Dies often, but not too much. Just often enough for him to lose a few good iron pickaxes.

Always goes to bed once it’s night.

Most likely to have a pet cat

He just plays for fun, when he’s bored and stuff. So he doesn’t go as far as to defeating the ender dragon. He’ll travel to the nether though, just for potion making

But he does play a heck more when Teru’s around, or when the Telepathy club invites him.

He awaits for a frog update

Reigen

Jumps into survival hardcore right off the bat after watching one play through

Most likely to have a villager colony and farm

Makes a wooden house with windows and stuff on the first night with a furnace and a crafting table and a bed. The essentials. But he won’t stay in one house often and will move a lot

He can build, but he’s pretty amateur at it, he’s a fast learner though so he could easily replicate houses he see online

He’s the type of guy that never stops mining until he finds diamonds, which means he makes sure he’s at 13-11y in coordinates, has a shit ton of extra pickaxes, and stacks upon stacks of torches. Once he finds them goodies, he heads on home and repeats the cycle

He’ll defeat the ender dragon if he’s bored enough or when someone challenges/pays him to.

Same goes with The Wither

Will skip Minecraft sleep very often and will only go to bed when the phantom starts attacking

Most likely to have many many pet dogs, each one of them have name tags.

When he dies, he gets mad for a few hours, then jumps right back in. He doesn’t die all that often though, so he won’t rage quit.

He gets the minecraft books later on and you can see him reading it under his table time to time

Ritsu

He starts off with easy or normal without much knowledge on the game, probably only played because Shigeo introduced him to or Shou bugged him about it.

He’ll have a farm, but just for resources. Won't have much animals, mostly crops. He’ll live next to a village if there is one.

His first house will also be a dirt house, he’ll improve it overtime and add more levels and decorations. It can get very pretty in the end and he’ll be content to just stay and keep adding more to his house.

Not the best builder, but good enough for people to compliment it. He feels especially proud when Shigeo likes them, so he’s keen on building better and more.

He plans before he mines, calculates how many torches he needs and plans out what he’s exactly looking for, even calculates how many hunger bars each food item will fill before taking it with him.

If he gets really into the game, he’ll defeat the ender dragon, wither and head on into the nether. Not in that order though.

Will sleep if he doesn’t need to do anything

Most likely to have pets, perhaps a cat, or a dog, or a parrot. Only one though.

When he dies, he accepts it and moves on. Though, that would rarely happen.

Recently got into a forced Minecraft marriage with Shou. Is it forced if he enjoyed it though?

Teru

This bitch really just gonna jump right into survival just to flex on Shigeo.

Duh, of course he’ll have a farm. Will probably talk to the animals.

His first house is either borrowed from a villager or built with wood, but it’ll definitely not be a simple ass wooden house. It will be a nice fucking mansion, just watch him, he will. He’ll fight all the mobs he needs to just to built this mansion right off the bat, doesn’t even care if the first night he sleeps roofless.

Really good at building, because he wants to compete with Ritsu for fun and boast about it to Shigeo. Shigeo would just clap and be like “Wow so cool.”

“Thanks, made it myself, I can make one for you.” Shigeo declines, he’s an independent man, which makes Teru a mixture of disappointment and oh-my-god-you’re-adorable???

He doesn't plan when he mines, he just estimates and half ass some stuff before he struts into the cave. Sometimes he gets lost, but that’s perfectly fine.

Will defeat every mob boss and mob ever to show Shigeo he’s very powerful.

Doesn’t sleep, fights the phantom instead. Will sleep if Shigeo asks him to.

Most likely to have a pet cat, but he doesn’t mind dogs.

When he dies, he’s an angry baby and makes up some excuse as to why he’s dead. “I was distracted, didn’t see the lava. Whoops I guess ha ha no big deal.” But it is a big deal, he lost his diamonds, he wants to give it to his boyfriend but he cannot. Because he died.

Has yet to marry Shigeo in Minecraft.

Shou

Plays because he is a gamer. Survival hardcore ftw. He only plays multiplayer with Ritsu these days, never single player because he has been playing Minecraft his whole childhood and it gets boring on his own.

What’s a fucking farm? I take my food from my Minecraft husband.

Sleeps in a cave, but if Ritsu’s done with the house, he joins his bed with him and sleeps under a roof.

But he’s really really good at building, probably the best next to Serizawa. If you gave him the resources and time, he can recreate Seasoning City.

A concerning miner, jumps in with just torches and a pickaxe and somehow still survives (mostly because Ritsu always goes looking for him)

Could probably easily defeat the bosses because he has already done it so many times

Will only sleep when Ritsu is, which is almost all the time.

He owns every kind of animal.

He dies too many times because he really doesn’t mind, it makes Ritsu mad and that’s what keeps him going.

Shou was suffocated in sand.

“S H O U.” Ritsu yells at the boy next to him.

Was the one that proposed to Ritsu, invited everyone to the wedding; including Serizawa and Reigen.

Serizawa

Played while he was still hiding in his home, so he knows everything about the game when he finally played it with Reigen or the kids.

He loves farming, even the animals, it’s oddly calming to take care of something that won’t die unless he hits em.

He always collects resources first before he actually starts building a home, so he always sleeps in a cave or a villager’s house.

After years of experience, he became really good at building, he use to spend time recreating maps from other games. But he says Shou is better than him, the boy disagrees.

Yeah he mines, but he’s wary of dying when he heads into the cave, so he always brings too many torches. 

Makes sure he is very very prepared before defeating bosses

Always sleeps in time, because Reigen said so. Well, because Reigen advised it, what a hypocrite am I right?

Doesn’t have pets, and even if he does, he always make them stay put at one place.

Doesn’t die all that often, almost not at all.

He pretends to not be good at the game when Reigen’s around, he mostly lets the other do what they wanna do because he loves watching his husband play.

“Serizawa! Look, I made the zombie villager back into a villager!” Reigen pointed, Serizawa smiles and nods. He already knew how to do that, but Reigen’s discovery makes it feel he discovered something new himself.

Tome

Bro this woman is so experienced to a point everyone consults her for tips.

She’s building up to find aliens in minecraft, even though they don’t exist, but she’s convinced they’re an easter egg or something.

No, she doesn’t farm. She takes em from the villagers, but she has a few beehives here and there.

She’s only mining to find diamonds as a peace offering to minecraft aliens.

One time she thought the Wither was an alien.

One time, she thought the phantom was an alien.

One time she thought the ghast was an alien.

Has died multiple times because she is careless, but she is never upset about it. Always jumps right back into the game immediately.

Parrots are her pets, because they f l y and d a n c e.

One time she thought the creepers were aliens.

She has this summoning circle made of redstone and torches in case there really are aliens.

She believes in herobrine and sometimes tries to summon him.

She thinks the aliens made the temples in minecraft.

Other Characters

Minegishi has so many bees and flowers and crops it’s almost covering the whole map.

Takenaka plays because it’s very quiet and calming

Shimazaki cannot play. He is blind.

Shou’s old resistance team use to play with him, now they sometimes play together as a trio when Shou is playing with Ritsu.

Mukai and Tsuchi play because Mukai wanted to, she has a lot of armor stands in her house.

Tsubomi does not play, she played once and didn’t enjoy it all that much, but she’s perfectly happy watching her friends play.

Emi roleplays in minecraft.

Mezato doesn’t play, but she likes watching minecraft videos on youtube, mostly the theories.

Everyone in the awakening lab plays, Kurosaki is fantastic at mining because she always knows which way are the mobs and which way are the diamonds. Asahi is an arsonist.

Minori once got invited by Shigeo to play, then she proceeded to buy minecraft and everything in it to impress him. Shigeo only congratulated her once. Contemplating buying the whole of Mojang, but she’s a good girl now so she won’t.

Hoshida plays to impress Tome. Too bad, son, she’s not into you.

[hijackedacademia]

A Friendly Favor (Tenya Iida x Fem!Reader)

Characters: Reader (Fem), Uraraka, Jiro, Iida, Mina, Midoriya (briefly), Sero (briefly), Kaminari (briefly)

Request: No

Requested by: N/A

Warnings: none? If there are lemme know and I’ll tag them. Also I didn’t edit this.

Words: 2240

A/N: I wrote Iida w/ red eyes because that’s their color in the manga and I’m a sucker for red eyes. Also forgive me, this is my first time writing for him properly so he may be a little bit out of character?

——

Training had been rather rough on you today. Every muscle in your body ached, and your PE uniform was drenched in sweat (and possibly some tears) by the time you’d made it back to the girls locker room to peel it off. You toweled yourself off before throwing your uniform back on. A few of the other girls seemed just as exhausted as you were, while the others were just as chipper as ever.

This is what you got for slacking off to play video games. 

Again. 

Uraraka was the first to approach you, asking if you wanted to walk with her back to the dorms. She’d pushed back her hair with a plush, pink headband you were 98% sure had belonged to Aoyama at some point, and she was holding out a cooled water bottle that you just couldn’t say no to.

“Sure,” You said, taking the bottle. “Thanks.”

“No problem, (L/N)! You really look like you need it. Is everything okay?” Uraraka tilted her head a bit, her lips pulled back into a caring smile.

“Oh, yeah,” You started. “I’m fine, just feeling a bit behind it all. This is the last time I let Kaminari convince me to stay up till midnight to play Minecraft.”

“Oh did he rope you into helping him build that castle he was going on about?” She asked. 

“We played for three and a half hours and we’re still flattening the earth for it.” You grumbled.

“I told him to just use creative mode.” Jiro piped in, coming to stand beside you. “But that idiot wants to do it all the natural way.” Jiro mocked Kaminari, rolling her eyes all the while. You snorted.

“Tell me about it, when I mentioned going into creative mode I thought he’d had an aneurysm.” You took a long sip from the water. The three of you began to exit the locker room. “At this point I’m pretty sure I know more about the durability of a stone pickaxe than I know about the math Ectoplasm is trying to teach us.”

“Are you falling behind on your studies, (L/N)?” You all but jumped out of your skin, turning to face Iida with a flushed face.

Of course it was him who heard you. You smiled up at him.

“Not so much falling behind on studying, more not understanding the work.” You said. “I was never very good at math back in middle school, so the stuff we’re learning now is pretty difficult for me.” You rubbed the back of your neck, averting your eyes. Uraraka wiggles her eyebrows playfully at you from beside Iida, and you frown at her.

You regret telling her about your crush on the engine-quirked boy.

“Well if you should need any assistance with studying, I would be happy to help you. I plan on working on my math after we finish dinner.” He adjusted his glasses as he spoke, his crimson eyes never leaving your own.

Curse him and his need for eye contact.

“Speaking of dinner,” Jiro said. “Who’s cooking tonight?”

“Sero and Kirishima.” You said, turning away from Iida. “It was supposed to be Sero and Mina, but Kiri owed her a favor.”

“Why didn’t they inform everyone of this? The whole schedule we set up-” Iida started, but you calmly cut him off.

“Iida,” you sighed. “The schedule will be fine. Kiri will help cook this meal, and the next meal he’s assigned to. There’s nothing wrong with a friendly favor.” Before Iida could say something, Midoriya exited the boys locker room, a towel thrown over his shoulders. He smiled when he saw the small group.

“Hey, guys! Heading back to the dorms?” He asked.

“Yeah!” Uraraka confirmed. “Come on, guys! We should get going before Mr. Aizawa yells at us again.” She grabbed your wrist to tug you along, and you let her pull you in the direction of the dorms. Jiro, Midoriya, and Iida followed suit.

The only other people in the dorms when you got back were Mina, Kaminari, and Sero. Sero had set out getting everything together for dinner while he waited for Kirishima. When Mina saw you, Jiro, and Uraraka approaching she ran up, an excited look on her face.

“My parents delivered my Wii console! We can finally play Just Dance together! Whatddya say, wanna play tonight?” You were about to let out a whoop in excitement, when you saw Iida looking at you from his seat at the tables. He was already getting to work. He looked away rather quickly when he noticed your gaze turn in his direction.

“Actually, guys, I uh… I think I’m gonna take tonight to study.” Uraraka’s head snapped in your direction. The mischievous glint in her eyes surprised you momentarily.

“Oooo, you taking Iida up on his offer?” She teased you. Mina squealed, drawing in others' attention. You smacked her arm, but she seemed undeterred.

“Iida,” She said in a harsh whisper. “So is it like, a date-”

“We’re just going to be studying-”

“A study date, then?” Mina seemed more excited about the prospect than you did. You’d been looking for a reason to spend more time with Iida alone, but he always seemed to be busy with school work, or was always around Midoriya and Uraraka.

“No.” You say. “Just two friends studying math.”

“Sure.” Mina continued to tease. You really wished she wouldn’t do this while he was right there, but Iida either didn’t hear what was happening or he wasn’t paying you guys much attention because his eyes were trained on his work. You ignore your friends and go to approach him.

He looked up when you reached the table.

“Hey,” You said.

“Hello, (L/N). How can I help you?”

“So were you… serious, about that offer? To help me with the math?” You wanted to slap yourself. Of course he was serious. When was Iida not serious about something?

“I was,” He nodded. “Like I said, I should be getting to my math after we eat.”

“Awesome.” You nodded. “Thanks again, Iida.” He nodded back before returning to his work. You went up to your room to throw on more comfortable clothes, using a couple of wipes to clean up the oil on your forehead and cheeks. You had been laying on your bed scrolling through the various apps on your phone for around an hour when Tsu came to get you for dinner.

Part of you wanted to shovel down the food - the faster you ate, the faster you could study.

But the other part of you wanted nothing more than to never finish dinner so that you couldn’t possibly embarrass yourself in front of Iida. It was bound to happen, you were sure of it. You would say something stupid with such confidence and then Iida would know just how dumb you really were.

But it smelled so good, and the way your stomach rumbled - surely you couldn’t say anything that stupid.

Right?

Uraraka gave you a quizzical look.

“Are you gonna eat it or are you just gonna drool over it?” She asked. Snapping from your thoughts, on instinct, you wiped at your mouth - she was right. You had been drooling. How embarrassing, you seethed. “Everything alright, (L/N)?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah I’m fine. Just thinking.” Without a second thought you began to stuff your face.

When class 1-A first moved into the dorms, a good chunk of the class sucked at cooking. It was typically Bakugo, Uraraka, or Sato who cooked meals.

That was, until the hot headed gremlin decided enough was enough and there needed to be some kind of proper schedule and some kind of lesson.

“I’m not gonna be cooking for you damned bastards for the rest of school.” He’d said. “Either you learn to cook or you starve.”

The only people who couldn’t be trusted in the kitchen were Mineta, Higakure, and Aoyama.

Those three could burn water without turning the stove on.

Kirishima had become one of the better cooks - so having been paired with Sero, who himself was fairly decent, the meal was amazing. Maybe not Lunch Rush amazing, but enough to make you want seconds.

By the time you’d finish your plate, most of the girls and a handful of the guys had scattered, finished with their meals and prepared to unwind or get to work. You took your plate to the kitchen and then went to your room to wash up. You retrieved your homework, notes, and textbook, and after wiping the sweat off your palms, went to go find Iida.

He sat at one of the tables in the common room alone, surprisingly. Usually after a meal Midoriya and Uraraka would sit with him for a bit before going their separate ways. But not tonight. 

Were they both joining in on Mina’s game? Or had you just taken that long to get ready?

“Uh, hey, Iida.” He looked up from his work and gave you a kind smile.

“Ah, (L/N), are you ready to work?” He asked. You nodded quickly and moved to put your stuff down across from him. “Perhaps you should come sit over here. It would make it much easier to show you what to do.”

“Oh. Um, okay.” Your fingers gripped your wares tightly as you came around to sit beside Iida. He had his text book open to the pages you guys had been assigned earlier that day - his paper was already filled with notes. “Well, uh, where do we start?” 

Listening to Iida go on about math was much easier than listening to Ectoplasm, in your opinion. Maybe it was the fact that you could listen to Iida talk about anything - he could read you the ingredients off of a candy bar wrapper and you would be entranced.

Or maybe it was because what he was saying actually made sense.

“Mr. Ectoplasm tends to explain things in a lot less detail than he should.” Iida admitted. “But I used to sit with my brother when he did his math homework, so it’s pretty easy for me to figure out.”

“How is he, by the way?” The thought of Iida’s brother had been itching in the back of your mind. Ever since he got hurt you’d never seen Iida more determined. You worried sometimes. When you saw a sad look in Iida’s eyes, a part of you regretted asking. His gaze bore holes into the textbook, but he smiled.

“He is healing. Slowly, but surely.” That was all Iida had to say on the matter. Before you could say anything else about it, he was back to explaining the equation you were working on before.

The two of you worked for an hour and a half, and by the time you’d gotten to the last equation you felt proud of yourself. Usually math took you a lot longer. Sometimes you didn’t bother doing them at all (not that you’d ever tell Iida this).

“How are you feeling? Did you understand everything we went over?” Iida asked, setting aside his pencil.

“I think so.” You smiled. “I definitely understand more than I did this morning.”

“Well, I’m glad.” Iida removed his glasses, and cleaned them with a small cloth that he’d kept folded beside his text book. “I’m about to start on English, if you should need assistance with that as well.”

“No,” you smiled. “I’m actually fairly good in English.” You closed your textbook, piling the homework and notes you’d taken on top along with your pencil and pen. “Thanks again for helping me Iida, I owe you one.” You said as you stood up from the table, a couple of joints popping in the process.

“Like a friendly favor?” The question surprised you, but after the initial shock washed away you smiled.

“Yeah.” You said. “A friendly favor.” You picked up your things, ready to depart. 

After a moment's thought and a short rush of confidence, you found yourself giving the class rep a short hug, your free arm wrapped around his shoulder and your cheek pressed against the top of his head. He tensed up for a moment, but instead of pushing you away like you imagined he would, he placed a hand on your arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Thanks again, Iida.” You pulled your arm away and all but skipped out of the common area. When you made it back upstairs to your dorm room, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. After setting your homework back into your bag, you went to read the text.

It was from Iida. You frowned.

Had you forgotten something downstairs?

Unlocking your phone, you open the text.

T. Iida: So

T. Iida: About that favor.

(Y/N): Yeah?

T. Iida: Perhaps you might be willing to join me this Sunday to the nearby café? I was going to go with Midoriya and Uraraka but they are now busy and I would prefer not to go alone.

You flushed a bit. Iida was asking you to go with him to his favorite café (you’d heard him mention how much he loved the place before - the best lattes he’d ever had, if you remembered correctly) with him. Alone.

Just you and Iida.

(Y/N): Count me in. Id love to join you!

T. Iida: Perfect. It’s a date then.

A date.

This boy was going to be the end of you.

[bleachcracklist]

What would bleach characters do if they got into lockdown? (after timeskip)

1) Hitsugaya

Hitsugaya would probably never even realise about the lockdown because he had been stuck in his room for so long doing the work that his lieutenant didn't do. There would be a huge mountain-sized pile of paperwork accumulated around his room that even blocks the light.

Hitsugaya: MATSUMOTO!

Hitsugaya: What it's the difference? I'm usually stuck doing paperwork anyways. Besides, it's not like I enjoy going out...

2) Rangiku

Rangiku would probably be the first to learn about the lockdown. So she would start by buying all the sake that she could carry since she no longer can go out and have parties with her friends.

During this time she became so bored that she self-taught herself how to use the internet to find new fashion magazines and most importantly she discovered online shopping. There she could buy anything she wanted with a click of the mouse. And she doesn't even have to go outside.

But of course, Rangiku would have even less motivation to do her work. 

Rangiku: I'll just leave all paperwork to Captain. I'm sure he doesn't mind doing them.

3) Kenpachi 

Doesn't care about the lockdown and goes out anyways. He'd ignore the central 46s orders and go out to find new enemies to slay. But only to find the entire Seireitei is empty… and of course, ends up being secured into prison where he could be contained...

Kenpachi: Ha! quarantine is for weaklings

Kenpachi: WHY IS THIS PLACE SO EMPTY? WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE. 

Kenpachi: YOU ARE ALL COWARDS. COME OUT AND FIGHT ME! 

Random central 46 guards: Sir, we are sorry, but you need to go inside.

4) Mayuri

Mayuri would end up experimenting with the new virus on himself because there are no test subjects to experiment on. He was curious about all the new data that came with the virus. 

Mayuri: Nemuri! Pass me the virus injection. 

Nemuri: ...

5) Uryu

He wouldn’t be locked down inside his home because he'd still be working, and fighting the virus for everyone.

6) Kurosaki household

Because of what is happening, Isshin decided to close down the clinic for the safety of his family. So now he enjoys every single day with his son and his family. Of course, this is driving Ichigo crazy.

7) Karin

Let’s assume that Karin and Yuzu moved out of the Kurosaki clinic when they started college, and now they live in a small apartment. 

Karin is the one who goes out to buy food and necessities because she’s protective of her sister. And she spends her quarantine playing Minecraft with Yukio, they would talk on discord while Karin eats junk food 

Karin: Oi Yukio! Craft me another iron pickaxe will ya? I just found some diamonds.

Karin: Oh shit. Did you just die in lava?

Karin: What a noob!

Yukio: Well excuse me. But I don't usually play games on pc.

8) Yuzu

Yuzu tries out new recipes and finds new hobbies to pass the time. She usually ends up sewing million sweatshirts for Kazui.

Yuzu: Karin-chan! What do you think of this new sweater I made for Kazui-kun?

Karin: Yuzu, this is million time you made sweatshirts today

9) Keigo

Keigo has always been scared of everything. So he would be the type to panic-buy a lot of things right before the lockdown. But he would be pretty stupid and go out not protected enough.

Keigo: Sis, we need more toilet paper!

Mizuho: No, we don’t, you idiot, you bought 4 large bags yesterday.

Keigo: What about bleach and cleaning detergent?

Mizuho: No, you already bought 15L of bleach.

Keigo: Then what about-

Mizuho: Finish that, and I will make sure you don’t even have the capacity to go outside anymore.

[maryellencarter]

jesus christ it's 1am

so okay, back on election night, ursula vernon et alia were streaming "seven days to die". this is a game where you start out in your underwear in the wilderness in the zombie apocalypse, have to punch down trees with your fists and weave clothing out of grass, and by day seven of in-game time the idea is to have built a base that will keep the weekly horde of zombies from obliterating you.

so having watched the replay of the stream, i was like "i kinda want to play something like that, but with less zombies and time pressure".

so as it happens, my elderly ipad mini has "minecraft: pocket edition", which is or was free, and which i installed at least four years ago but have always played on "creative mode", where you have infinite access to resources and can just get straight to building the el dorado of your dreams.

having built some el dorados in my time and gotten bored, i launched a nice basic minecraft world. day/night cycle, weather cycle, no hostile mobs, "survival" mode where you have to mine and craft everything you might need.

it was... trickier than expected. i chose the basic "abandoned village" world seed, so that I'd have access to things like water and trees, and i got a nice spawn point near a river and a forest, but even in creative mode I've never figured out most of the shit people can do in Minecraft like building elaborate automated bullshit and simple if/and computer gates with redstone. i started out by reading the manual -- I'm not sure if that's not available in Creative mode or if I just hadn't thought to look.

then i went and punched some chickens. figured out that i needed to punch a tree down first, which was approximately what i was looking for, and then had to use the wood to build a crafting table (which I'm glad the manual told me because I would not have figured it out, never having played a crafting game like this before), and then i had to run around punching sheep in order to get wool to craft a bed. around that point i went into the settings and turned on always-daytime till i could figure out how to make a fucking torch.

(in creative mode, of course, i got used to torches just being this infinite supply of things i didn't have to worry about. creative mode also has a much longer interaction distance and you can pretty much break any block immediately with any other block. survival mode is... an adjustment.)

so then i punched three whole sheeps to death to get their wools -- i was expecting to have to do a cookery at some point also but it appears that in "peaceful" no-enemies worlds you also don't get hungry or take fall damage. i don't mind. one might not even drown, but I'm terrified enough of drowning in real life that I never go in the water even in Creative worlds.

anyway, so *then* i was able to use my crafting table to craft a bed and plopped it down near my crafting table. then i built a couple of storage boxes, because i remembered that in the "seven days to die" stream liz kept filling up her inventory so she couldn't carry any more things.

then i crafted myself a bunch of wooden tools and went poking around. you wouldn't think a wood-bladed axe would actually do anything, but it's better than your fists. i chopped a hella bunch of wood, crafted it into planks, and built myself a snug little house around my bed and my crafting table and my storage boxen.

of course in creative mode the recipes for things are not relevant, you just grab whatever you want. so i was able to figure out a lot without googling, like how to make a stone pickaxe (i was worried that "cobblestone" would be tricky to find but it turns out that's what the normal default stone turns into when you quarry it, whoch you can do with a wooden pickaxe in order to get the materials to make the stone pickaxe).

but some things i did have to google. it was pretty dark in my little house, even with the always-day setting still on, and i could find that a torch would be crafted from a stick and charcoal but i couldn't find how to make fucking charcoal. turns out first you have to have like 14 cobblestone and build a furnace, and then you can burn anything wooden as fuel for the furnace but to make charcoal, you can't put planks or anything else wooden on the cooktop, only raw logs. it was very perplexing.

so then, having acquired stone tools and a house with torchlight, i turned the day-night cycle back on and went exploring. another perplexing thing i had to google was -- so i had the setting on where, when you break a block, it drops a little floating duplicate of itself and you have to get close to it in order to vacuum it up into your inventory. so i was mining cobblestone with my wooden pickaxe, and i found a block that i recognized as some kind of ore by the textural patterning, but it didn't drop a block when i chopped it with my pickaxe. it just evaporated. so i googled, and it turns out: what i was chopping was iron ore, and you can't just skip steps in human evolution that way. you are required to have a wooden pickaxe first to mine the cobblestones, then a stone pickaxe to mine the iron ore, then an iron pickaxe to make other kinds of ore like gold and emeralds drop properly.

but once i had acquired iron ore, i could stick it on the furnace and make it into iron ingots, and then i could craft myself iron tools!

then i tried to figure out how to tame a horse and got so completely turned around that i wandered down a hole at night and had to dig myself a staircase out, wondering vaguely what would happen if my tools broke before I reached the surface, and then i had to jump into creative mode and grab a compass to find my way back home.

(then i had to google how to read a minecraft compass. you want it pointing *up* while it's in your toolbar, not forward while it's in your hand, which was... problematic for a bit there.)

one thing that would be really fucking handy, which i understand other versions of minecraft perhaps have but "minecraft: pocket edition" has not got as far as i can find, is just some kind of damn map so you could figure out where you'd been. i wind up having to leave trails of torches everywhere, which is less fucking handy when torches are a finite resource! :P

[barrendome]

the 2b2t survival guide

are you planning to play on 2b2t? have you been playing but can’t seem to get out of spawn? or have you been waiting 12 hours in queue to no avail?

in that case, have i got some stuff for you! heres a handy guide about how to actually play, and some tips to help along the way!

step one: preparing

you can just hop right in and go, but it is smart to know a bit beforehand.

know what you're getting into. the server has no rules to it, so you just have to expect a fuckton of disgusting shit, slurs, etc. just kinda accept that, and ignore it.

get a hacked client. sure, you can play on vanilla, but doing that will make your life harder. the best client to use is impact, but if you really need to you can download wurst instead.

make a plan. although this is optional, its smart to do. you can just wing it if you wanna, but it’s helpful to have a goal for what you wanna do in the server.

step two: queue

queue is basically inevitable, but there are a few things you can do to make the wait less painful!

decide if you want priority. priority queue is a godsend, it takes 30 min at MOST to join the server! but on the other hand, its 20 dollars per month. if you’re planning on playing for a long time and dedicating lots of time to playing? get priority. if you just wanna check the server out? don’t worry about buying it.

join when nobody else would. the best times i’ve found are near 1-3am, or on a weekday in early mornings. you’ll still have to wait hours, but not as long as you would otherwise.

pray for a server restart. when it restarts, turn on auto-reconnect (if you have that) or just keep on trying to connect. you’ll get onto the server extremely quick if you’re able to join right after a restart.

do something else. multitasking is the best way to wait. leave queue running in the background and check on it whenever you can, but fill your time with other stuff. i usually draw or watch videos when waiting!

step three: common sense

you gotta use normal common sense, but also server-unique common sense.

remember: there are no rules. people are going to kill you. people are going to grief you. people are going to say gross shit. the worst kinds of people are here on the server, you have to accept that.

what you build is gonna go. no matter how nice it looks, how far out it is, how tiny it is, whatever. its how 2b2t works. when you build, you have to remember that its going to get destroyed one day.

you aren’t safe. no matter how far away you are, or how nice that one person is. don’t get lulled into feeling secure, stay on edge. better safe than sorry.

enderchests are your friend. you’re definitely gonna die, several times, so keep any important things in your enderchest. for more space, put everything into shulker boxes and store the boxes in your enderchest. this is why silk touch pickaxes are something you’ll need: because your enderchest is the only safe place for your items.

signs are the best communication. carry a sign with you, and read all the signs you find. its not important, but its fun to read what people write, and its nice to make your own mark on the world with just a simple sign.

don’t trust anyone. or at least, be cautious of everyone. if you run into someone, expect deaths, and be cautious even if they give you stuff.

you aren’t special. oh, so you watched a bunch of fit videos and know everything about the server? no you don’t, shut up. you’re gonna spam things in chat and grief a bunch of builds to become a notable player? you’re gonna become a minor annoyance, shut up. you read this guide and now know how to become the best 2b2t player ever? my guide is shit, shut up.

everyone hates new players. don’t openly say you’re new. just stick to yourself for the first while of joining.

step four: chat

so you’ve joined, and you connect to see.. the constant spam of chat.

hide the chat. go into settings, and turn chat off. usually chat isn’t worth looking at, except for warning about server restarts. if you wanna keep chat on, just turn down the opacity.

use /ignore. theres bots constantly flooding the chat, so if you wanna keep chat on, spend time quickly ignoring all the bots.

don’t ask for help. you do not wanna let everybody know you’re new, and if you don’t get ignored, people will send gross shit or fake help instead.

if you have a question, ask google. like the point above, asking for help isn’t a good option. search stuff up on google or the 2b2t subreddit before asking chat. and try not to ask obvious questions either.

don’t get into arguments. don’t rile people up or argue, its kinda risky, and again some bad shit will get sent your way. its really not worth it. if you get angry at some gross shit people are saying, just /ignore them, because fighting them will make you just a laughing stock.

step five: escaping spawn

i know what you’re thinking, “tumblr user barrendome! stop rambling and just tell me how to actually PLAY now!”, and yeah yeah, okay, i will.

turn your hacks on. what i’d suggest is turning on storage esp, player esp/tracers, search (search for blocks like melons, crops, wood, etc), and things like that. also keep xray and freecam ready, and make sure you set keybinds for those.

collect, store, die, repeat. i never did this, but my boyfriend did, and it worked incredibly well. he would collect as many resources as he could, store them in an enderchest whenever he saw one, and then either die of hunger or something else. he’d repeat this process until he had enough stuff in his enderchest to get him out of spawn.

save your hunger bar. try not to run, and try not to jump. its hard, but its important. most deaths are from hunger in the first while of playing, so just try not to get hungry. for this exact reason, the main thing you’re looking for is food.

don’t go into the nether right away. spawn nether is impossible to get out of, so travel on the overworld for about 2000 blocks, and then its safe(ish) to go into the nether.

20000 blocks is the safer zone, but its still spawn territory. outside of 50000 blocks is when id consider making a base if you really need to, but try to go much farther if you can. 

step six: just outside of spawn

so you’re out of the major spawn area... now what?

find food, farm food. get as much food as you can, thats the most important thing to do at this moment. make sure you have as much food as you could need, and store some in your enderchest.

make a temporary base. you can make a small house, a hole, or even just a dirt hut. just make sure you have a place to store all your extra stuff, and a place to stay for now. (sidenote, don’t put a nether portal right beside your house.)

find a bed. later on, beds aren’t a big deal, but at first they definitely are. try to find or make a bed, and set your spawn somewhere. i’d suggest hiding the bed somewhere near your temporary base, but don’t make it visible.

get geared up. use your xray and get some diamonds, look through dungeons for enchanted books, make yourself tools, etc. its best to get what you need now that you’re out of spawn.

go fishing. you can get food, enchanted books, xp, etc. going fishing is actually super useful. the autofish hack is your friend right now. but don’t go afk when fishing, you can get kicked for it.

remember the nether highway myth. if you have almost nothing, and are travelling on the nether highways, there’s a good chance a high-level player could stumble upon you, take pity, and give you stuff. remember not to trust anyone right away, they could still end up killing you. but there is still a chance that being on the highways could get you everything youd ever need. again, though, make sure to put everything in your enderchest!

step seven: planning and playing.

im ready! ..what do i do now?

make a goal if you haven’t already. if you wanna be a nomad? plan where you’re gonna wander. if you’re gonna make a huge base? plan where to build it and go out there. if you’re gonna go visit monuments? figure out which ones and their coordinates, and start walking. gonna join a group? figure out which one would be safe and fun to join, and try to get in.

get as far from spawn as possible. unless you wanna stay near spawn, try and get 100,000 blocks away or further. and if you really wanna keep a base intact, don’t stay near any of the major highways.

have fun! as rough this server can be to play on, theres a lot of cool stuff you can find, and its important to find joy in the chaos.

and that’s all for now!

i may have forgotten things, so feel free to send me anything i missed! but i hope that everything i was able to write down will be enough to help anybody that wants to join 2b2t.org, the oldest anarchy server on minecraft!