#I tried my hand at an ATLA quote

[zetadraconis11]

HL Incorrect Quote #81

*after Ominis and Sebastian had a fight*

Garreth: I've got an idea! I'm gonna send a note to Sebastian, and say it's from Ominis who wants to apologize. Then everyone will be friends again!

MC: I've gotta say, Garreth. You continue to impress me with your ideas.

Garreth: Eh, it's a gift!

*Garreth writes the note and sends it to Sebastian via owl*

Sebastian, one second after reading it and going over to Garreth & MC: I know this is from you, Garreth! Ominis can't write!

*Sebastian storms out*

MC: ...I can't believe we forgot Ominis can't write...

Garreth: Yup, we're idiots...

[lynzishell]

The Past 💛 Atlas

I was over an hour late for the gym tonight, spending the better part of the day in bed staring at the ceiling, and occasionally typing out an apology text to Ash that I would immediately delete.

I had hoped that everyone else would be gone by the time I arrived, but Dawn and Phoenix were still lingering by the climbing machines when I walked in, so I tried (and failed) to avoid them by sneaking up the stairs to the treadmills. Dawn caught up with me before I even reached the first step and knew immediately something was wrong. She insisted on waiting around for me so we could walk home together.

I was annoyed at first, wanting to be alone, but by the time we’re throwing on our sweaters and beanies, I’m glad. Afterall, I’m getting nowhere on my own, just spinning myself in circles. Talking to Dawn is one of those things I avoid until I can’t, and then always wish I’d done sooner.  

“So, what’s wrong?” Dawn asks as soon as we step outside. It’s dark out, making it feel much later than it is, and I can already feel the weight of the season settling in. Winter is always the hardest for me, and Spring is still so far away.

I’m not sure where to start so I just blurt out, “I screwed things up with Asher yesterday.”

“What happened?”

“Apparently, he’s tired of my mixed signals.”

“Have you been giving mixed signals?”

I give her a guilty look as I nod solemnly.

“What haven’t you told me?”

Everything. But it’s too much to get into, and the details aren’t important, and she knows me well enough that I'm sure she can fill in the blanks, so I tell her, “It doesn’t matter,” to which she gives me an annoyed look but let's me continue, “But he got pissed and stormed out. I can’t blame him. I don’t know what my problem is.”

“Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Please.”

“Have you ever heard the quote, ‘A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it’?”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“I get that you’re tired of losing people. And I know that causes you to keep most people at arm’s length. It may feel like you’re protecting yourself, but you’re not. You will continue to lose people if you keep pushing them away.”

“Maybe. But it will hurt less if they leave without getting too close.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“Do I?” It feels true.

“Did it hurt when Asher stormed out yesterday?”

Point taken. “Like I was being ripped apart.”

“So, why are pushing him away? You’re only causing the pain you’re trying to avoid.”

“I don’t want to. Not anymore. But it’s like, I don’t know how not to. I can’t explain it. Just, the idea of taking that step, I feel like it won’t take long for him to see that I’m not who he thinks I am, that he’ll realize I’m not someone he can…” My voice trails off, unable to finish the sentence.

“Love?”

The mere mention of the word causes my chest to tighten. I feel my mind wanting to shrug off the very idea of it. So impossible that I feel silly even considering it.

“Oh Atlas. It’s not true,” she insists. “That was the kind of shit mom and dad put in our heads. And I get it, I felt like that too for a long time. I just handled it differently. I chased love as if someone else could come in and take that feeling away. But that just made me toxic and clingy and insufferable. It was my own version of pushing people away. And every time they left it felt like proof that I was right, that I wasn’t worth loving. But it wasn’t true, was it?”

“No.”

“It’s not true for you either.”

I understand what she’s saying, and logically I know she’s right, but there’s a part of me deep down that rejects it.

When I try to continue walking, she stops me, placing a hand over my heart, “I love you, Atlas. And not just because you’re my brother. Because you are caring and kind and gentle and loyal and supportive and I could go on forever. Not only are you worthy of love, but it is impossible not to love you.”

I don’t know what to say to that. It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me, and I can tell from the look on her face that she’s sincere. “Thank you.” I reach out and give her the biggest hug I ever have. She’s surprised at first, but hugs me back, squeezing me tight. I don't think either of us realized how much I needed to hear those words. We don't say them often, it doesn't come naturally to either of us, it's usually just implied in the ways we support each other, but maybe we should be saying the words more often. "I love you too."

“So, what am I supposed to do?” I ask as we step apart and start walking again. 

“Do you want to be with him?”

“Yes.”

“Then go talk to him. And be honest.”

“What if it’s too late?”

“Then I’ll be here for you. But there’s only one way to find out.”

Prev // Deja vu // Next

[bestworstcase]

You've said before that RWBY's writing can be non-formulaic other than the 3 Act structure that it follows. What is it then that makes RWBY's story and writing so different (especially from more typical pop culture writing) in that regard?

to be completely honest i think a significant factor is that rwby is written by people who care about telling a story and have a very clear vision of what story they want to tell that they are resolutely sticking to no matter what. rwby is pretty remarkable in its sheer indifference to 1. what the fandom wants and 2. mass market appeal. paraphrasing but isn't one of the writers on record saying that they keep an eye on the fandom and if they see a lot of people not getting something they try to make it more obvious in the text? <- i think about this all the time.

bc like. before V9 i tried really hard to manage my expectations because i didn't feel sure, at all, that i wasn't just reading around a bad case of protagonist-centered morality—like i could count on one hand the number of people besides me whose writing on salem aligned with my interpretation and what i thought was going to happen thematically in V9 was so DRASTICALLY different than what the fandom largely seemed to expect and when you're that far off the common thinking then it's kind of like, is it really everyone else who's wrong or is it just you?

and then it turned out i was right. i was in fact so right that i underestimated how hard V9 would go on delivering what was set up in the first eight volumes.

which is fucking mind-boggling to imagine from the writers' perspective. the fucking guts it take to have a finger on the pulse of this fandom and not budge an inch on what this story is about!

<- being formulaic is safe. it is easy. it's palatable. for all that everyone loves to complain about unoriginality, there are a lot of people who just want to be entertained by something familiar. rwby doesn't give a damn whether you like it or not, it's going to keep being the story that it is, you know?

so they're very willing to take creative risks. that's really the heart of it. but there are a few specific like, technical aspects of the narrative that make rwby what it is:

#1, the narrative status quo gets turned on its head not just once, but repeatedly. the fall of beacon, the lost fable, the fall of atlas, the ever after. and by my count there are at least two more key changes before the story ends. it's not all that common for stories to upend the narrative status quo once, let alone multiple times, but rwby is a story about change and the structure of the narrative reflects that. (this also synergizes quite well with the three-act structure.)

#2, the characters are wrong about all kinds of things in all kinds of ways, constantly. some of them lie. some of them make very confident, very wrong assumptions. all of them are working with incomplete information. the ancient immortal character who's spent millions of years alone is cryptic and awkward. half the cast belongs to the keeping secrets cult. the goddamned avatar of knowledge is an unreliable narrator because ruby asked specifically for ozpin's side of the story. the narrative blithely informs the audience in V5 that "truth is hard to come by" is an important enough theme to say it out loud and then throws the lost fable down like a gauntlet. good luck.

#3, related to the above, in most stories the heroic characters know (or learn) and believe the story's themes and the villainous characters reject the theme and embody the anti-themes. in rwby, theme/anti-theme is decoupled from narrative role: ozpin is on the heroic side, but he represents many of the story's anti-themes (fear, distrust, lack of faith in humanity, blind obedience of authority); salem is the main villain and notional big bad, but she believes the theme—so much so that the fandom regularly quotes her soliloquy to express the core theme: "even the smallest spark of hope is enough to ignite change," and "there will be no victory in strength." this opens the door to a lot of really interesting character complexity and is critical for making "salem wins by negotiation" narratively possible at all.

#4, the story takes fairytales seriously. what sets rwby apart from a lot of "deconstructed fairytale" stories is that the point of taking the fairytale logic apart is not to be clever or edgy or grimdark or hyperrealist or cynical about it; the conceit is a tragic, broken fairytale that keeps going forever until it's mended because fairytales are not real but they are true. rwby rejects the moral and emotional simplicity of fairytales in order to weave a fairytale about lifelike characters rather than archetypes. that's a lot rarer than darker and edgier retellings or irreverent parodies by a wide margin.

[wafflecrosantwoman54]

Do you know that you're just an opposite copy of me. Like you were a joke made by the players, then one day you spawned in. Who are you really... You're just a failed copy of me. I wouldn't be surprised if my old boss was behind this mess.

Haha. Yes, I might be a quote unquote FAILED copy of you, and I might have my flaws, but lets be real for a moment: Who's the most morally incorrect? "Who are you really..." I'm Wynter. I'm Wynter Hazelwood. Who are you, hm? I'm the cannibalistic asshole who killed someone who was capable to love me. I'm the bitch who actually TRIED to comfort Artemis when the only thing you would say is "YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!" How fucking sick in the head do you have to be to only motivate her with that? I might not be one to talk, but wait!- I actually am one to talk, because yes, I might've commited a crime or two, but you're on a whole new level. And yes, yes, i'm a joke made by the players, and trust me, i'm aware i'm a opposite copy of you. I might be weak, but i'm not as impulsive and abrupt as you are: I don't let my feelings guide my body like you do, impulsive weirdo. See, i'm aware I only exist because unus made a joke, but now, I live out of spite for you. I only live for your downfall. I want to watch as you crumble, i'll be the first one to be spitting at your grave when you're buried down dead. You call me a mess? But I can actually follow SIMPLE RULES. You call me a joke, someone who was no place in this eath, but you trying to fight Atlas is the real joke. See, your emotional fucking ass thinks you can handle the God of destruction with your bare hands. Maybe you're the mess here. Maybe you're the flaw. Think about that, Pieman.

[hey-pax]

About me✨️

My Name: Pax! (Or Namie) <|> Gender Fluid (Born female) <|> Sexuality: Cupio-Aroace <|> Pronouns: They/Them <|> My Age: 17 <|> Personality: ISFP <|> ADHD✌️

I'm that no-filter idiotic friend that you don't know if it's a complete idiot or a complete idiot-

I don't make any fanfics (yet-), but I will post my horrible drawings and make random comments that no one wants no know nor care about! 😀

Soo... here's some non important information!!

Fandoms I'm in: Marvel (MCU), One Piece, Jjk, Hazbin, Helluva, Harry Potter, Gravity Falls, Fnaf, Undertale and Deltarune, Bad Parenting, Eddsworld, Sonic, Pokemón, Haikyuu!, Welcome Home, Sherlock holmes, TADC, ATLA, HTTYD (I'm prolly gonna add more to this list later-)

My favourite artists: Eminem, 50 Cent, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eazy-E, 2Pac 🤌

My favourite song of all songs: Berzerk - Eminem 🔥

My hobbies: Listening music, writing random quotes and poems/raps, making fanfics/povs on my head while I gaze out, drawing (I prefer tradicional cuz my digital art is shit), gaming, eating, sleeping and creating fake scenerios on my mind

What is this blog's purpose?: Showing y'all my thoughts and opinions that no one cares neither wants to know 🙂👍. I use this mostly to read other people's opinions, quotes and fanfics... and sometimes post my opinions ofc. :D (And maybe I'll write fanfics in the future-)

- I'm all open to conversation! But no arguments, please. We all have different opinions! Maybe I like something you dislike or vice-versa, but I respect your opinion and I would like if you respected mine too, ok

-Please don't steal my art 🥺

- My blog is a inclusive and safe place. DNI if you’re a Ableist, Homophobic, Transphobic, Racist… you know all I'm talking about. You're welcome, just don't manifastate your ideas.

Additional info! ✨️

I am Brazilian, my first language is Portuguese, so... sorry for any english mistakes in anything! Also, I'm open if anyone wants to ask questions (Even tho' I'm not that famous or important here in Tumblr-) aaand... My blog is a total mess :D

Oh! And here's my complete profile pic:

First: Yes, it's me Second: Yes, I drew that Third: I know. my drawings are shit. It looks like a child drew it- Fourth: I tried my best to make it look like me irl, but with clothes I would like to wear, since... well, I don't have them. Fifth: Yes, the colors of the clothes and the colors of the back are the Genderfluid and Aroace flags (It's Aroace since Cupio-Aroace still doesn't have a flag I think-) Sixth: I dunno how to draw hands- 😭

[storyofmychoices]

Yoga & Pancakes

[Beckett Harrington x Emma Carlyle Masterlist] 

Pairing: Beckett Harrington x Emma Carlyle (F!MC)

Other Characters: Shreya Mistry, Atlas Ernhardt

Book: The Elementalists

Word Count: ~900

Rating/Warnings: teen, suggestive language

Submitting to: @choicesmonthlychallenge ; @choicesficwriterscreations

Synopsis: Emma, Shreya, and Atlas run into Beckett at breakfast and Emma discovers a new Attuned food.

"Let me guess—" Emma began, quieting Shreya's excited tone. "Some famous Attuned chef I've never heard of but who probably catered an event for you has prepared some incredibly magical treat for breakfast?"

Shreya pressed her hands to her hips, her smile falling slightly. "You make it sound so utterly dull." 

Emma opened her mouth to apologize, but Shreya continued. 

"You've been spending far too much time with Atlas. We've got to get you back to society."

"It's not me." Atlas shrugged. "Don't worry, Emma's still the sunshine of our group. She's just a little cranky this morning... she didn't get much sleep." 

"Is everything alright?" Shreya looked over her friend, beginning to think of healing spells. 

"I'm fine," Emma insisted, brushing off Shreya's worry, shooting her twin a quick don't you dare glance. She looped her arm with Shreya's pulling her forward.  "Now, let's go see what is so special about breakfast today. You were telling me about the chef and his specialties?"

"I wasn't but now that you asked—" Shreya began rambling off facts about the chef and private events she had catered. 

Emma smiled and nodded along, trying to keep her eyes open when she was desperate for a nap. Not looking where she was walking, she bumped into a tall student in line in front of her. "I'm sorry—" she began, recognizing his dark blue blazer before he even turned back.

"Emma?" Beckett couldn't help the smile spreading across his blushing freckled cheeks. "I did not think I would find you here. I thought you were  sleeping in."  

"Oh, yeah," Emma's cheeks warmed as her gaze shifted to Atlas for some help, but she merely found her twin smiling in amusement, watching their awkward encounter. 

"Why would you be sleeping in?" Shreya questioned with concern. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Oh, I think she's feeling just fine," Atlas smirked. "Just a little worn out from some early morning—or was it a late night—'yoga'." She added air quotes to the last word.

The hue across Beckett's face darkened at Atlas's words. 

"And here I thought 'yoga'"—she offered, using air quotes again, "—helped you relax, you seemed quite exhausted but very dreamy—" she mimed gagging, "—when you returned this morning at... what was it... 4:30 am?"

Emma chewed her lower lip. 

"Oh! OH!" Shreya's lips drew into a knowing smile of amusement. "No wonder you're tired. Keeping our girl up all night, Harrington? Impressive! I didn't think you had it in you. I bet you two worked up an appetite."

"I beg your pardon?" He didn't think his face could flush any darker.

"Okayyyy," Emma tried her best to move them along. "Look, we're next. Oooo, pancakes. I love pancakes. Pancakes are so delicious. Did I ever tell you the time when I was six and my parents made me pancakes shaped like a bunny for easter? Oh and they cut up bananas on the pancakes and added chocolate syrup, there's really no end to what you can do with pancakes. Strawberries on pancakes are also delicious. Did you know, pancakes—" 

The trio stared at her, Beckett in relief and Shreya and Atlas with amusement, her rambling words trailing away. 

"Would you like to say pancake one more time?" Atlas teased. "I don't think you've said it enough."

The cafeteria worker handed Emma a tray with 3 large, fluffy, circular pancakes. A look of disappointment fell on her face. "Huh, I expected more. They look just like tuneless pancakes."

"Oh, they're so much better!" Shreya announced gleefully as she guided them to a booth on the side.

"So when do I find out what makes these pancakes magical," Emma questioned. "If I eat them will confetti rain down? Will I make weird noises?"

"Not this time," Shreya replied. "These are no ordinary pancakes. They're shape-shifters. Watch this." She focused on the pancake on the top of her stack, concentrating on a single image in her mind. Slowly, before their eyes, the pancake transformed into the shape of a blossoming orchid. 

"Woah!" Emma marveled. "How?"

"It's a centuries-old recipe passed down. The chef has yet to reveal the secret, but I've been working on wearing her down. She can't say no to a Mistry forever."

Beckett didn't dare contradict her. Usually, he'd love bragging about his superior knowledge—it was rather a simple spell. He had learned it at the age of five— but right now, he didn't want the conversation shifting back to him or Emma. 

Emma focused on her pancake, her gaze momentarily shifting to Beckett, admiring the way the glowing sun kissed his face through the ornate stained glass windows. The pancake transformed into a heart, with a B + E appearing at the center. 

"Bleh—" Atlas choked, before picking up her pancake, which she had turned into a mace, dipping it in syrup, and biting off the end. 

"What are you going to make?" Emma questioned curiously of Beckett.

"I can think of something he could turn it into for her." Shreya wagged her brow, enjoying as the pair blushed. "Thinking about last night, Harrington? Be careful or you never know what might appear."

"Gross," Atlas mumbled through a mouth full of pancakes. "I'm trying to eat. I don't need any graphic "yoga" depictions popping up on the nerd's plate. It's bad enough I've seen them kiss. I can't stab my eyes out with a pancake dagger."

Shreya laughed, holding her hands up in a peaceful truce. Her mind quickly returned to the shopping trip she had scheduled next, the pancakes on her plate following suit, one turning into a long gown and the other a shopping bag. 

Emma and Beckett breathed easier as the conversation shifted. Laughter bubbled between them as the morning sun shimmered around the space. Despite the teasing, their free hands tangled together beneath the table. 

This is just a silly little idea that popped into my head. It's not edited, so please forgive any mistakes.

My Atlas is demiro.

[highfantasy-soul]

Re: Netflix's live-action Avatar the Last Airbender

I was 12 when the animated series started airing.

I caught episodes as they came on Nickelodeon, but I didn’t watch it religiously start-to-finish. I caught episodes when they happened to be on and I happened to be watching TV (I was NOT part of the generation that had unlimited access to shows - tv/computer/video game time was strictly monitored in my household) so there were some episodes I saw over and over again, and others I never did see.

I think it was around middle/high school (honestly can't remember - it was one of the two) that the show got put on Netflix and I started watching it from the beginning with my brother and some friends. Needless to say, I've been a die-hard fan ever since.

I think the animated show is incredibly well done and the storytelling is super on-point for what I love in media. Zuko's redemption arc is still the best arc I've ever seen, and the character growth is amazing.

I had never really fallen into the 'it's not perfect, but…' way of analyzing media, so I never dwelt too much on its flaws - I'd much rather focus on the things it got right as literally every piece of media has flaws and things that could be changed to make it better.

So yeah, hyperbolically, the animated version of ATLA is 'perfect' - but since people insist on anything that's not perfect being drug through the mud and hyperbolically being called 'garbage', I guess I have to dredge up the things I didn't care so much for in the animated version while analyzing how the live-action handled it (or avoided handling it).

I was super excited for the film adaptation - again, announced while I was in high school. I was looking forward to it so much - then, well, we know what happened there.

Things were changed that didn't make sense to change (the pronunciation of character names, the 'test' for figuring out who the Avatar is, the poor bending where movements didn't align to what was happening with the CGI, casting of white people when the characters were always meant to be indigenous and all asian ethnicities, among other issues people have made many essays about)

So, when this was first announced, I was SKEPTICAL.

While the trailer looked good, it seemed very safe - I recognized everything in it and it looked well made, but like, that doesn't mean the whole thing will be good - or justify its existence.

I tried to ignore any 'leaks' or interview quotes because those are always misconstrued so much and people hear one sentence and create a massive narrative in their head about what that sentence means and usually, all their bellyaching assumptions they made from that piece of info is just a non-issue once the show actually comes out.

I didn't give any credence to people screaming about "Sokka isn't going to be sexist anymore?? It's ruined!!" or "They're going for a Game of Thrones tone?? They don't understand Avatar at all!!" or "No side-quests?? They don't understand the point of the show!!"

First off, invoking the demon that is Game of Thrones is just a marketing tactic - that's all it is: MARKETING!! Just like EVERY YA book for years was 'The new Hunger Games' now it's 'The new Game of Thrones' even when the story at hand is NOTHING AT ALL LIKE THOSE THINGS!! It's literally, let me cradle your face gently in my hands, JUST a marketing ploy to get you to see a recent title you DO recognize and have (assumedly) heard good things about (ie popular) so that you then pick up the thing that they slapped that name onto.

Creators rarely have say in what their creation is likened to, they're told by marketing companies to go with it (if they're told anything at all) and they just say "yes, marketing team I have no control over, whatever you say".

Also, a passing comment in an interview is off-the cuff and when someone makes a comment like that, people read WAY too far into it and it's usually not nearly as deep as people make it out to be. That's why I just wait for the actual thing to come out and just watch it and judge it based on what it is, not some narrative someone else has created for it based on half a quote from some random interview.

So going into this: why the live-action adaptation? Why was it necessary?

In my opinion, the answer to this question is the thing many fans hate the most: altering the original story.

A beat-for-beat remake isn't necessary - the original is right there, so in order to 'earn' the right for this adaptation to exist, that necessitates changes to be made that add to the themes, deepen the lore, and delve into different aspects of the world in ways a child's cartoon can't.

So, I'm looking for not a 1-1 remake, but rather an adaptation that enhances the themes, irons out some uneven characterization/pacing, updates the story just enough to really get what they want to across, and delve more directly into some of the harsher aspects of the war.

I have always felt that Iroh's involvement in the Fire Nation military was glossed over a lot in the cartoon - I suspect because he's supposed to be a good guy and we can't have our good guys be overtly war criminals responsible for the deaths of thousands of people.

The effects of hard decisions made during war are shown in the animation, but the decision making process itself is rarely talked about until the very end with the gaang's struggle to keep helping people while also knowing where to focus their energy and Aang's struggle finding a way to stop the firelord without killing him.

something this adaptation can do is actually show the people making the decisions - and directly talking about the horrible effects of it. I'll get to it later, but that's one of the major themes in Episode 4 that I'll talk more on then.

Especially in Book 1, like many first books/seasons, the worldbuilding isn't fully fleshed out and the themes that really come to fruition later aren't as tight as they could be at the beginning. If the adaptation can go ahead and seed/tighten the themes that become big deals later on here at the beginning, it will 'justify' it's existence as the story retold after the whole story has already been plotted out.

Just like with the Percy Jackson and Wheel of Time adaptation, those writing for the show have the benefit of knowing how the story ends and all the stuff that's added to the world building as time goes on that wasn't necessarily known by the authors when they wrote and published the first books - the benefit of hindsight allows the show's script to take into consideration these additions and seed them early on to make the story more cohesive and reinforce themes.

So, this analysis is going to be long and filled with minute details, beat by beat for the episodes.

I have seen so many takes that I just sit and scratch my head at and think 'that was so obvious in the show - how did you miss/misinterpret that thing so wildly?' that I guess what I took for granted as obvious in the show, others didn't, so here's me being pedantic and over-explaining everything so maybe others can see that 1) they aren't the only ones who saw this interpretation and 2) maybe others will see the scenes a different way

Still trying to decide how to break up the analysis as the episode recaps are going to be LONG and since people now demand to see all the citations for stuff, the character analysis posts will be long too as I pull direct scenes to show why I feel the way I do.

I don't want to overload the posts and make it so they're just annoying to read, so I'll probably break them up into the sections of the episodes and maybe break up the character posts.

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

[hannahhook7744]

Stormbringer Crew Incorrect Quotes (Part 2);

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Levi: I CAN'T DO IT!

Skelebar , laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Levi: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE!

Ike: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Levi:

Levi: I appreciate it,

Levi: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Jolene: Levi-

Levi: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Craven: Levi we gotta-

Levi: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Levi: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Levi, motioning to baby Atlas: NOT FUCKING THIS!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Luke: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Darcy: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Skia: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Peachy: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Remi:

Remi: I have emotional scars.

Hannah:

Hannah: Same but the dumbest scars I got were from purposely stabbing my hand in the 1st grade over and over again to make Skia feel better about her scar.

Skia: It was a nice gesture but it didn't really work because I don't like watching her get hurt.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Remi: Hey Hannah, how'd you get that scar on your knee?

Hannah: Oh I was riding my bike back in 2nd grade when Cruella tried to ram me down with her car but I escaped by going down a hill. Tried to hit the brakes but that just sent me flying head first off my bike and into the road. I came out with this scar, one on my hand, and bad road burn on my belly. But it could have been worse because I wasn't wearing a helmet. But it wasn't and I only have a couple of scars from it, cool right?

Remi:

Remi: WHAT?!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Isaac: We need to distract these guys.

Parker: Leave it to me.

Parker: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

James, Luis, and John: *Immediately begin arguing*

Eduardo, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

*The squad right before Josh's wedding*

Evelyn: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

Gunner: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

Treycor: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

Noah: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND!

Haul, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Josh: Are we really going to let Hannah keep Joy?

Evelyn: We kept Eduardo.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

*The group is getting into the car*

Anna: I’m driving.

Alex, out of view: Shotgun!

Aaron, turning to face Alex: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Alex: WOAH-

Alex, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Misty, banging on the door: Rian! Open up!

Rian: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Moxie: No, they meant-

Hope: Let them finish.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Fiona: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Herlando: Not if they consent to it.

Howiee: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Gunner: YES?!?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Liberty: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Haul: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Hannah: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Haul: Is it working?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Gunner: Bro-

Aaron: No, no, hold up, rewind. My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Darcy: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Luke: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Darcy: I said within reason, Luke. How about I murder that guy?

Luke: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Darcy: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Liberty: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Herlando : *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Liberty: That one. I want that one.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Moxie: Hope is playing hard to get.

Moxie: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Noah: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Fiona: Aww-

Noah: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hope: Are you ready to commit?

Moxie: Like, a crime or a relationship?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Misty: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Rian: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Misty: ...

Misty: You mean ring bearER, right?

Rian: ...

Misty: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Howiee: We both look very handsome tonight.

Anna: You know, if you'd just said that I looked beautiful, I would have said, "So do you."

Howiee: I couldn't take that chance.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Howiee: I think I'm falling for you.

Anna: Then get up.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Haul: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Hannah: That's great, Haul. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Darcy: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.

Luke: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Peachy: repeat after me.

Skia: after me.

Peachy: no, repeat "I will not cause mass terror via homicide."

Skia: I will cause mass terror via homicide.

Hannah: I will cause mass terror with vigilantism as a replacement for homicide.

Peachy: NO!

Remi: I made chocolate chip cookies! Oh, bad timing I guess...

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Audrey: Skia can we use your hair as a campfire

Skia: yes but why?

Chad: to make s'mores

Hannah: what's a s'more?

Skia: the hell is that?

Audrey: Oh my gosh.

Chad: That has to be illegal. Everyone should know what a s'more is!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: I don't like Mal much....

Skia: should I toast her?

Hannah:...do we really want to smell that?

Hannah, under breath: and Mal isn't that bad.

Audrey: stop planning murder.

Chad: I'm concerned for your mental stability

Hannah: what's that?

Skia: what's that?

Chad, concerned: time for therapy...

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Skia: is arson allowed here?

Hannah: no but do it. I suggest Beast's statue.

Skia: but what if we get in trouble....should I?

Hannah: yes.

Chad, overhearing: NO, ARSON BAD!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Skia: I'm stabby.

Peachy: Skia, you're seven, no, and never, especially not now.

Hannah: do it, stab someone.

Remi: Hannah we're small, how would she even stab someone!?

Skia: *sees Gaston* target acquired AHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs and stabs Gaston*

Hannah: heh, bully deserves it.

Peachy: SKIA NO! GET BACK OVER HERE NOW!

Skia: *skips back happily* I got rid of the stabby urge, now all I have left is-

Peachy: Skia no.

Hannah: Skia yes!

Skia: WORLD DOMINATION!

Remi: why though?

Skia: *grins ferally* because monarchies are bad!

Peachy: Skia, you're seven, no world domination.

Skia: I see, world domination the second I turn into an adult!

Remi: I agree.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah to Luke: how have you not learned at this point that like 90% of our successes are based on luck?

Hannah: John I need you to—

Hannah:..

Hannah: where the fuck did John go?

Luke: why are you asking me? I wasn't aware that I was on John Patrol.

Hannah: the fuck you talking about? All of us—all of the time—we are all on John Patrol. He's a literal fucking Ninja. ZEUS DAMN IT!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

F.G: I am, as the kids say, awake.

Hannah: ...Did you mean “woke”?

F.G: I did mean “woke” but it’s grammatically incorrect.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Rian: Just stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.

Moxie: Really Rian? And where does my nose belong if not inside our parents' business?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Luke: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks?

Hannah: Two thousand, four hundred, and thirty seven dollars.

Luke: Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Treycor *walks into Hannah's room*

Hannah, standing on a table with Atlas, Levi, Ike, Craven, Jolene, Skelebar, Noah, Fiona, and the other children:

Treycor: what are you lot doing on the table?

Hannah: it's my room, I can stand where I want to!

Treycor:

Treycor: Where's the spider?

Hannah: Its by the door kill it please I beg of you.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Gunner: Alright, who taught Noah how to say Fuck?

Aaron: Who taught YOU how to say fuck?!

Anna: oh my Zeus, will you guys stop saying fuck before you teach the smaller kids to say it and Hannah beats all our asses.

Levi, age 3, breaks a toy: FUCK!

The twins and Gunner: Oh fuck.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Moxie: Rian. Get Herlando. Now.

Rian: You dropped Atlas into the chamleon encloser at the zoo again didn't you?

Moxie: JUST GET HERLANDO BEFORE HANNAH FINDS OUT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Gunner: has anyone seen my blood bags?

*everyone turns to look at Herlando*

Herlando: Oh what, just because I'm a vampire it was automatically I who took it? That's specist!

Everyone *immediately turns sheepish *

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: What is your biggest weakness?

John: I can be uncooperative.

Hannah: Okay, can you give me an example?

John: No.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Parker: The cow???

Hannah: What?! No!!

Luke: Parker, W H Y?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Treycor: If?

Luke: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: I know you snuck out last night without me, Lucas.

Treycor: Play dumb!

Luke: Who's Lucas ?

Treycor: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: We need a distraction.

Treycor: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Luke, whispering: My time has come

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Luke: You're right.

Hannah: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: Treycor, keep an eye on Luke today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Treycor: Sure, I’d love to see Luke get punched.

Hannah: Try again.

Treycor, sighing: I will stop Luke from getting punched.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

James: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

James *punches wall*

James:

James: Takemetothehospitalplease.

Treycor: No, because if I do you won't learn anything.

Parker: and you're just overreacting. See, watch...

Parker *punches the same wall* OW!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

John: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

Luke, nodding: Mood.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Josh: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

John: I'm with him, I'm too tired to handle this right now.

Evelyn: same here.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Fiona: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them as Luke would say.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Luke, threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!

Hannah: Luke no!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Skia: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Darcy: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Noah: Goodnight moon.

Noah: Goodnight tree.

Noah: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

Hannah: Say syke right now.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Darcy: Bye Luke. Bye River. Bye Hannah. Bye murderous ghosts that only I can see.

Hannah: Haha, very funny Darcy.

Darcy *walking away*

Hannah: Darcy?

Darcy *still walking*

Hannah: This isn't funny Darcy.

Darcy *Gone*

Hannah: DARCY, I SWEAR TO FUCKING ZEUS YOU BETTER BE FUCKING WITH ME! SAY SYKE RIGHT NOW!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Hannah, playing a VR game: You see, that’s the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It’s PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.

Hannah: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...

Hannah: YoU jUsT dOnT gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

James: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Luke: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

Luke: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

Hannah: Okay, you're NEVER allowed to answer the door AGAIN.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Fiona: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

James: Niether is mine. I feel ya.

Parker: Mine either.

Luke: and they just can't get my nose right!

Hannah, rolling her eyes: that's because you four all made your wanted posters.

Fiona, young and sad: I just wanted to look interesting...

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Fiona, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Alex: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Fiona: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Darcy: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.

Darcy: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Luke, filming from the balcony: I taught Atlas how to say 'Tax Benefits' and now that's all he says. It's hilarious.

Atlas, waddling away from Hannah and babbling: TAX BENEFITS!

Hannah: You're 1! How do you even know what tax benefits are?! I don't even know what they are!

Luke: We're 21. And she's gonna kill me when she finds out I'm the one who taught him it but I have no regrets.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Levine: Why are you smiling?

Skelebar: Wha? Can't I just be happy?

Jolene: She's smiling because Ike tripped and fell in the parking lot.

Skelebar: Snitch!

Ike: I liked you better when you didn't talk.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Levine: Ooo Skelebar lost Atlas, she's in trouble.

Skelebar: You're the oldest, dumbass, you're gonna be the one in trouble!

Ike: Hannah said not to use that word!

Jolene: Well, Hannah's not here and we need to find Atlas. So who cares what Hannah said?

Craven: That's mutually!

Jolene: It's pronounced 'Mutiny' not 'Mutually', barnacle brains!

Levine: Jolene, be nice to your brother!

Skelebar: LEVI, FOCUS!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Levine: Skelebar, you handle this.

Skelebar: But you're the oldest!

Levine: Not my problem!

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Levine: Oh God, we dropped Atlas.

Skelebar: Hannah's gonna kill us.

Atlas *completely fine and laughing on the floor* Again, again, AGAIN!

[dreamer213]

Broken Machines: Between The Shadows

Chapter 12: Cybernetic Checkup

The ivory halls of The Titan Learning Institute are bustling with activity as the first lunch break is called. Students dressed in fine black and white plaid uniforms wonder about the cafeteria and courtyard during their break time. Under a particularly shady tree, a pair of unlikely friends sat together on a bench. They were staring into the viewfinder of a scroll, shifting and softly pushing each other back and forth so they could both fit in the frame.

Octavia: Move up it’s only showing your forehead!

She chirps, moving herself over to give Esther some space to get in the frame. Esther moves up but frowns when she sees how the image has shifted on the screen.

Esther: Great now it’s only seeing your neck, Tavia.

Esther whines. Octavia leans back down, realizes she’s right, and starts maneuvering again. On the other side of the screen, Penny is standing in a hallway at the Atlas Huntsman Academy giggling as she watches the two try to figure out a way, they can both fit on the tiny screen. She keeps her eyes on them as they struggle but immediately pipes up when her eyes catch them moving in the right direction to fit.

Penny: Stop! Hold it right there!

Both girls freeze and lock eyes with the viewfinder. Esther’s head is resting on Octavia’s shoulder and Octavia’s high ponytail is mostly cut out off the frame but otherwise, both girls are clearly visible from Penny’s point of view. After a moment Esther starts to blush, flustered from being so close to Octavia’s ample bust, and tries to move away. But Octavia pulls her back to keep her in the frame, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and holding her cheek to from moving away. Penny almost snorts as Esther’s face goes tomato red, it’s so cute to see her face look so expressive! But soon the laughter is replaced with conversation as the girls resume chatting.

Penny: So, you two never stop talking after the masquerade ball?

Octavia: Nope! Esther stayed with me the whole night and came to check on me for a whole week after school!

Esther: She wasn’t going to class, so I brought her our lesson plans to keep her on track and some pastries to cheer her up.

Octavia: I didn’t even know we went to the same school until she showed up in our uniform!

She tugs at her collar with her free hand, showing off her school blazer.

Octavia: Turns out we have half the same classes too and I never even know!

Esther: That’s because I always sit in the back.

Octavia: But her coming by to comfort me really made us bond and we’ve been attached at the hip! She hasn’t left my side since!

She chirps, nuzzling her cheek against Esther’s in a show of affection making the poor girl even reader than she already was if that was even possible. Penny giggles again while Esther shoots her a pleading glance to knock it off.

Penny: That’s great! I’m glad you had someone after.…everything.

The mood immediately drops as the catalyst for the friendship is brought up. Esther goes from red to white and freezes up, but Octavia just sighs before putting on a brave smile.

Octavia: Thanks again for speaking to the general about Daddy. Because of you, he got away with just an in-depth audit and five years of probation.

Penny: Don’t worry about it, it wasn’t a huge issue. I just spoke up on his behalf and hoped General Ironwood would listen.

Octavia: Still! It’s a lot more than any of my other “friends” have done for me in a while.

She uses air quotes around the word friends and rolls her eyes. Penny sees the passive-aggressive glint look her eyes and knows the blinders Octavia had on to her perceived pals’ positive traits had come off fast and hard since she’d last seen her. Which was good but also very sad as it meant she’d most likely just lost 80% of her friends once.

Penny: Oh, did none of the other girls come visit you with Esther?

She asks as softly as possible to lighten the blow but Esther sucking her teeth and looking down in response clues her in that this was definitely not gonna be an easy talk.

Octavia: Nope! Not a one! And who needs them?! You two are much better company anyway!

She states with a huff, Esther and Penny are eased by her conviction. Penny especially is overjoyed that Octavia will be moving away from those bad influences. Despite that, she still feels a little concerned, seeing as they were her closest friends even if it was a one-sided relationship.

Penny: Aw, are you alright?

Octavia: Hmm?

Penny: I mean they were your friends for a long time, it must have been hard to part with them at a time like this.

Penny sympathizes but is soon met with a dark chuckle as Octavia’s expression shifts from an annoyed pout to a mischievous grin. She sighs and cups her cheek, looking oh-so disappointed as she regales the true end to her long-standing fake friendships.

Octavia: Oh, it was very hard. I couldn’t bring myself to face them for weeks! But then this morning….

Her pout starts to crack back into a smirk as she recalls the morning’s events. She had met up with Esther as soon as she’d arrived but as they walked to class they ran into the ill-mannered clique. Seraphina was the first to notice them and her face instantly twisted into fury. She steps in front of them right as they are about to pass, blocking off their path and grabbing Fay, Mackenzie, and Sophia’s attention to the situation. The four immediately start in with passive-aggressive comments, mockingly congratulating Octavia for finally showing her face after her daddy’s very public throwdown and arrest. Instead of looking uncomfortable or pathetic, Octavia responds with a quick “thank you” and tries to move past them. Shocked by her non-reaction Seraphina blocks her again and asks why she is acting so cold, insisting that she was just kidding and there’s no reason to be so rude to a friend.

Octavia: But I’m not though. My friend is right over here.

She gestures to Esther, taking her hand and holding on tight.

Octavia: And we’re going to class.

She tries to push past but is again blocked by Seraphina who can barely hold up her fake smile under the strain of her irritation.

Seraphina: Don’t get smart with me, Tavi. It doesn’t suit you.

She spits with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. Octavia doesn’t back down however instead she fires back.

Octavia: And desperate doesn’t suit you. Or maybe it does since you don't mind using your daddy’s money to get some face time with a boy far out of your league.

Serephina’s face drops giving Octavia and Esther a chance to slip past. She looks back for a split second to see that the other three have pounced on Seraphina, demanding to know what Octavia meant. And for the first and last time, the four of them put a truly joyous smile on her face. She’s still wearing that smile as she wraps up her story.

Octavia: And that was that. They let us be and have been at each other’s throats since.

Penny looked surprised at her; she didn't think Octavia could be so sassy though the thought of Seraphina getting heat from her terrible friends did make her crack a smile.

Penny: Wow that’s just…(giggle).. so standard for jerks like that! No loyalty to each other at all!

She says through a fit of laughter, Esther and Octavia joining in as they giggle about the toxic friend group’s implosion. But the laughter is interrupted by a notification on Penny’s screen. It’s a reminder to move down to the robotic lab within the next ten minutes.

Penny: Oh!

She swipes up to clear it, guess girl talk is over.

Penny: Sorry, I gotta go. It’s almost time for my appointment.

Octavia: Aw, already?

Penny: Yup, and I can’t keep the doctor waiting.

Octavia: Okay, good luck with your physical.

Esther: Make sure to eat after.

Penny: I will! Talk to you later, bye!

She waves to them through the screen, and they wave back before cutting the call. From there Penny pockets her scroll and starts walking toward her next task, getting her scheduled physical examination.

Now this wasn’t just her day to get examined, no this was something that happened twice a year for the whole of the academy. Students, soldiers, and huntsmen had to be examined for a medley of reasons, most of which had with the safety of all parties, and it took days to complete because of the three factors.

One, the sheer number of people that needed to be seen. Two, the schedules that need to be changed or adjusted so both cities could be safe while everyone was being looked at. And three, the vast variables in what was considered good health due to semblance, species, and augmentation. Some semblance could change the user's physical state or require a certain body type to function which would be considered unhealthy in normal circumstances. Some fanus have certain physical differences depending on animal traits that affect their marks for health. And lastly, there were some people with prosthetics enlisted, which changed how their examinations were carried out as the condition of prosthetics needed to be documented in detail for the safety of all. All together the Atlas Huntsmen Academy physical examinations took a full workweek to finish.

Penny was one of the few who had priority and had to be examined on day one. This day was mostly reserved for special agents who could not be out of the field for more than a few hours, a third of those with mechanical prostheses, people healing from recent injuries, and certain huntsmen who had difficulty going to the doctor of their own accord. Basically, the system prioritized getting the difficult work done first to lessen the impact of the week’s chaos.

While she didn’t hate getting checked up on, Penny didn’t really enjoy physical examinations, especially after getting her new body. She was advised not to eat for twelve hours beforehand and with her new stronger senses the examination felt much more invasive than it ever had before.

Penny: I really hope Dr. Echinacea warms her hands a little this time.

She prays while taking a shortcut through the medic wing to get to the robotics development. As she’s about to pass by a door opens and Neon jumps out, landing on the floor with a thud. Her eyes are dilated and her bright orange hair tail is upright with every strand of fur standing on end!

Penny: Neon!

Penny bends down to try and help her up but the moment she reaches out her hand Neon hisses in her face and starts to swipe her away. Penny jumps to avoid Neon’s surprisingly sharp nail as the fanus continues to behave like an aggressive cat!

Penny: Ah Neon! Stop it! Hey!

Penny pleas while dodging the orange cat girl's attempts to furiously claw her face! After several seconds she manages to grab both of Neon’s arms and tries to look her over to see what’s got her so spooked.

Flynt: Get your ass back here!

The shouting voice of an agitated Flynt makes Neon freeze for a moment before breaking into a full panic. She struggles to get out of Penny’s grasp and escape, but the other redhead’s grip is too strong to break! Meanwhile, Penny has no idea what happening and doesn’t get the chance to ask before the rest of team FMKI comes rushing out of the same door as Neon.

Kobalt: There you are, come here!

Kobalt reaches down to grab Neon and with no means of escape, she jumps up and clings to Penny for dear life wrapping her legs, arms, and tail around her hips and burying her head in Penny’s shoulder to keep from being pulled away. Still, Kobalt grabs her and tries to pull her off, but Neon’s grip is too tight, and Penny’s solidness just makes for more resistance.

Kobalt: Seriously?!!!

He roars, arms start hard at work trying to get her off. Seeing him struggle the other men of FNKI grab onto their bulkiest teammate and start pulling with him.

Flynt: Come on Kitty! Enough’s enough! You can’t keep running all day!

Ivori: Please! It’ll be over sooner if you just stop fighting!!!

Kobalt: And you’re way too old to be pulling this shit anyways, so cut it out!

They shouted, putting all their strength into pulling but the neon-covered girl was not letting up for a second. Still unaware of what exactly going on but seeing their efforts and knowing the team’s dynamic Penny makes the executive decision to let go of Neon’s arms and gently pull her. Once she releases her grip the change in force makes Neon flinch and lose her balance, sending her and her teammates flying backwards. All four end up on the floor, Neon hitting the ground the hardest as she slams down onto her back. She groans and rubs her head while her teammates get back to their feet.

Kobalt: She’s down! Get her!!!

He shouts and all three pounces on her! After a bit of a struggle, Ivori and Kobalt manage to lift Neon by her torso and legs, despite her flailing around. With her detained Flynt brushes himself off and approaches Penny.

Flynt: Thanks for grabbing her, we’ve been trying to get her in all day.

He states apologetically while rubbing the back of his neck. Penny looks at him confused and decides to inquire about what in the world this was all about.

Penny: You're welcome, Flynt but why was Neon acting that way? I’ve never seen her so distressed.

Flynt: Oh, that.

Flynt pauses before letting out an aspirated sigh, it was barely early afternoon, but his eyes looked exhausted even though his dark shades.

Flynt: Neon hates doctors. Never liked going to see one for anything. Something about the vibes being too strict making her cat side go crazy. So, we gotta drag her in by the scuff for team check-ups.

Penny: Ohhhh.

Suddenly it all clicked, Neon often leaned into her cat instincts, but Penny would have never guessed it went so far as to hold similar fears like this. But knowing that now it made a lot of sense though that barely dulled the shock of a young woman acting like a house cat throwing a hissy fit over a trip to the vet. Flynt smiles as he can practically see the wheels turning in her head as she thinks but a quick look of surprise overtakes him as remembers something.

Flynt: Ah, hold up. I just remembered something.

Flynt cuts off her bewilderment by reaching into his pocket and pulling two concert tickets. Upon closer inspection, they are tickets to team FNKI’s upcoming performance!

Flynt: Neon said she owned a few so she had me earmark yours when they printed. Best seats in the house for our favorite fearless hero.

He offers up the ticket with a flourish, twirling them from under his thumb and pointer finger to between the middle and pointer. Penny takes the tickets and gives them a good look; they’re made of strong cardstock printed black with neon lettering. “FNKI NIGHT!” was the event name, written in a rainbow of neon colors. A fitting name for their act.

A bright grin spreads across Penny’s face as the sight of the tickets fills her with giddiness!

Penny: Premium Tickets to Team FNKI’s concert! Eh!

She squeals, so happy another one of her little dreams was coming true.

Penny: Thank you so much, Flynt!

She reaches out to grab them but right before her fingertips can touch one Flynt lifts up his arm and holds them out of the way. Penny tilts her, perplex. Didn’t he just offer her these a second ago? Flynt smirks at her confusion and holds the tickets out to her again but snatches them away again, pulling to the right. Try again and he swipes them away at the last minute once more. After the third time, Penny recognizes that he’s just messing with her, but seeing as she has places to be she’s not about to let him win. The next time she reaches out, she purposefully lets him pull his hand away only to snatch the tickets as he’s mid-motion. Flynt blinks and looks at his empty hand then back at Penny who’s sweetly grasping the tickets with both of her hands. A lovely innocent smile on her face, as if she hadn't just moved faster than the blink of an eye to end their game of keep away.

Penny: I look forward to the show! It’s my first time going to this type of concert!

She states cheekily, pocketing the tickets. Flynt pauses but soon breaks into a chuckle, realizing she’s got him beat.

Flynt: Great! Means we get to one’s to introduce you to funk! It’s gonna blow you away!

Penny: Given your semblance and weapon style, I expect as much!

She chirps, giggling a bit. Flynt is puzzled for a second then realizes she’s joking. Now he’s feeling kinda proud as he didn’t even know she could do comebacks.

Flynt: Aw you little-now you gettin’ too quick for your own good. You better slow your roll before I slow it for ya!

He jokes, ruffling her for giving him such flack.

Flynt: See you there.

He waves her goodbye and disappears back into the medical examination room with his team, Neon still thrashing about as they carry her off to get checked up.

With her path cleared, Penny continues on her merry way to the robotics department. She manages to arrive on time and is immediately greeted by Dr. Mina Echinacea. Outfitted in her usual lab coat and navy-blue sweater dress, she had been a transfer from Mistral in her youth and studied under Pietro. She was one of the handful of scientists who helped create Penny and the one who had done much of the fine-tuning of her more feminine qualities, her specialty. As the only woman on the team, she put all her effort into crafting and consulting on certain things. Things only another woman would truly understand the importance of enough to properly replicate faithfully.

Mina: Womanhood is a very unique existence to nearly impossible to recreate, as it will never feel truly accurate due to the very nature of being a homosapien female. Doubt, self-pity, and ego are irreplaceable parts of the female experience. If she takes pride in her parts but questions their validity, then we’ve done something right.

That was her philosophy when it came to her work on female-specific prosthetics. Her work restored femininity to many unfortunate women and was a big part of creating Penny’s. In the medical world, she was seen as the curator of the female form.

Mina: Good afternoon, Penny.

She greets her, voice familiar but not warm in the way Ironwood or her dad called her. No Mina was a lot more hands-off with Penny, examinations being the one exception. Penny doesn’t notice or mind her sterile greeting and returns it with her usual positive energy.

Penny: Salutations, Dr. Echinacea! Is my examination room ready?

Mina: Yes, but we’ll be in the far back today. Your father’s finally got the general down here for proper testing and tune-ups and the equipment he needs can’t be moved.

Penny: I understand, please lead the way!

She asks kindly, Mina nods and leads her down the hallways to the exam room. Entering the room it’s just how Penny expected. A modest room with a specialized medical bed with several cables directly above it, normal physical examination equipment, some special examination equipment such as a special movable x-ray screen, and a clear computer connected to the bed. All of this was inclosed to a specific half of the room as it doubles as an observation room, so one wall was covered with a viewing window. Thankfully the view from it can be blocked with the push of a button. Which Mina does as she goes over to the computer and grabs a disposable gown from the medical cabinet underneath it.

Mina: We’re doing a full health scan today, so you’ll need to strip.

She states, holding out the gown to Penny while facing the computer. Penny takes the gown and moves other side of the room. Giving a harsh look over at the now thickly tinted viewing window to make sure no one can see through; Penny takes a deep breath and strips. Putting her backpack down first before slowly stepping out of her rocket boots. With the clunky boots off she can start taking off her fabric attire, beginning with college and her blouse. She takes off the blouse first, pulling down the straps of her skirt off her shoulder and then unbuttoning her top. After she pulls it off her shoulders, Penny folds the shirt and lays it on her backpack, followed but her collar and brooch. Next is her high skirt, undoing the gold buttons in front loosens the corset-like upper half of the skirt enough for her to pull it open and slip her legs out. Removed and folded, it too joins the pile of clothing, and soon after so does her bow. Now all that’s left is her underclothing.

Yes, underclothing.

Specifically, a simple matching black bra and panties set.

This was one of the worst parts of getting examined as with her newly strengthened senses Penny could feel the air on her body just as much as anyone else could. But her senses were fresh, every lick of air a new sensation Penny hadn’t known before in places she couldn’t feel before, at least to this extent. It made her extremely sensitive and easily embarrassed when exposed. But for the sake of her health, she had to.

Steadying her hands and pulling her hair over one shoulder, Penny reaches back and unclasps her bra. Taking it off, she can feel the weight of her breasts droop downward as they lose its support. She wraps her arm around them as she adds the bra to the clothes pile, holding them up and shielding them from the cool air. With her free hand, she pulls down her underwear, crossing her legs as she walks out of them.

Penny’s so busy trying to get changed quickly that she doesn’t notice Mina glancing at her. She watches her very carefully, not for any voyeuristic purpose but for her body’s reactions. Penny’s skin seems to respond perfectly to the loss of covering and warmth, her breasts move with the weight and fluidity of nature breast their size down to the way the nipples sagged when unrestrained. Testament to years of research, technological advancement, and effort.

After she’s stripped down to nothing Penny immediately puts on the medical gown to cover herself. Tying the string of the thin medical robe around her neck and mid back. Everything was covered from the front, but the back had huge gaps, necessary for the exam. Still, being wrapped nothing but in napkin-thin cloth in a low-temperature sterile lab did little to calm her growing discomfort.

Mina: Are you ready?

Mina asks, now looking directly at her.

Penny nods, picking up her clothes and rushing to the exam bed before the cool air can settle in any further. Setting her clothes and backpack aside and hopping up onto the bed, sitting upright with her shoulder back, back straight, and chest out as the examination begins.

The first few steps are fairly ordinary, checking her eyes, ears, mouth, and throat for any signs of damage, irritation, or blockage. Next is the breathing and pulse test followed by a reflex check. All seems in order, the small shivers running down Penny’s spine at the feel of Mina’s cold hands being testament to that, leaving Mina to sit back at the computer.

Mina: Optics, audio, and pharynx systems are clean and in perfect working order. Reflexes and limb movement are tight, fluid, and responsive. Airways are clear, temperature fluctuates properly, and no external damage to be reported.

She says aloud while typing the information into Penny’s medical report.

Mina: Alright, that’s the external test done. Now for the internal diagnostic. Please move your hair aside and keep your back straight.

She asks. Penny nods and parts her hair down the middle with her hands, swiping a half over each shoulder leaving her scalp bare. She takes a deep breath, and a circle of skin on her scalp ripples open to reveal a port. It’s a little larger than the charging port which also opens up along with one just below Penny’s shoulder blades. These ports had several purposes, the head and chest ports were for checking her internal functions and monitoring her soul chamber, which resided underneath her heart. The charge port was delivered electricity to her body through her skeletal system and brain, powering her body and weapons systems. The one connected purpose they played was allowing connecting cables to be plugged into Penny directly so her data could be accessed securely.

Speaking of cables, the ones above the bed descend, and Mina walks over and guides each into the correct port.

Penny doesn’t feel too much, just a jolt when the head and chest cables are entered. The skin that had retraced went numb when the cables connected but that was only on her back. Unlike a human or faunus whose skin are a singular connected organ; Penny’s was technically multiple pieces. A special fixable skin-like polymers with microscope sensory tech engrained into it, modded to be completely zero tense, micro vein-like cables thread the pieces together so tight they are seamless to the naked eye.

Once everything is connected, Mina uses the computer to access Penny’s data. Months of information on muscle memory, sleeping recorders, charging time, weapon system use and so much more. Honestly, she could look through Penny’s brain for almost anything it stored, including memories, but that was not what this examination was for. Mina wasn’t the type to dig through the poor girl’s head unless it was completely necessary and after getting serval levels of clearance as well as Penny’s consent. She just needed to take a cursory glance to ensure everything was working as it should.

Thus, she focuses on finding outliers rather than mundane information. Almost immediately she notices certain areas of activity that have changed drastically, lining up with the reports she has on Penny’s most recent mission and noted incidents. The first to catch her attention is the increments of increased stress levels and lower sleep cycle. Then several severe spikes in emotional distress on several different occasions within close intervals. This is concerning but understandable given the circumstances surrounding the spikes. But what does surprise Mina is the other abnormalities, flares of emotions she hadn’t seen in Penny’s data ever. Instances of affectionate behavior that were far from her usual friendly behavior, pulse acceleration with temperature increases but no stress indicators, and stimulating of her lips in a way that only contact with another set could generate!

Mina: Well, I’ll be damned. She’s gone off and found somebody.

Mina thought, making note of all of this. She’ll question Penny on some of this new info during the wrap questions but at the moment Penny’s systems seem completely fine.

Mina: Okay, everything seems in order. Now I just need to take a look with the X-ray then ask you some questions and we’re done.

She states, typing out a few more notations before ending the connection with Penny’s brain. As she takes out the cables Penny looks oddly nervous.

This was the part she dreaded most. Not for any truly logical reason, this was actually the safest part of almost all health examinations. This X-ray was the safest for both the technician and the patient, specifically because it was made for her. But there was one thing that made her so nervous about being under the machine.

Magnetic pull.

Now Penny’s new body wasn’t as magnetic as the last but that wasn’t the problem. It was just that ever since the tournament the idea of a magnetic pull on her frightened Penny deeply. Just like having anything thin wrapping around her waist it just brought her back to that day. Being in pieces at Pyrrha’s feet right before the darkness enveloped her into an endless void for an ungodly amount of time. Rationally she knees nothing will happen but just knowing how it functioned made her feel unnerve. Mina notices her nervousness and gives her a reassuring head pat.

Mina: It’s alright, dear. Even a steel pen wouldn’t stick to it.

She says, voice soft as her touch. Penny, while still very nervous, elects to believe her and proceeds with the exam. The screen was made for body scans and came up to her neck, so Penny stood straight up as it was placed in front of her and turned on. The screen is connected to the computer and the scan is reflected in the monitor. Her gaze drifts over to it as Mina inspection the X-ray screen.

It’s miraculous, at a quick glance the image showed a perfectly normal organ system of a perfectly healthy human woman. Heart, lungs, stomach, intestines, and all vital organs were present and accounted for even the muscle looked conversing down to the joints. But upon closer inspection, it's clear things aren’t as they seem. The bones were a little too thick on the inside, where there should be fat was something close in appearance but not quite the same, a vaginal tunnel with no womb at its end. And the most obvious piece, the small cage like organ right below the heart, pulsing with a spring green glow. A part that housed something that was meant to be felt and not seen, her soul.

Penny: So alike but so different, down to the microscopic level.

Penny muses apathetically, this was the reality of her existence. She was made not born, with purpose not on impulse. Both a blessing and a curse as she could view humanity from the outside objectively but would also remain completely outside it.

A one-of-a-kind sense of otherness for a one-of-a-kind being like her.

Penny: I wonder what he’d think if he could see through me, see the truth. What…would he say? …Would he yell? Cry? …Would he ever want to look at me again? Could I even-

Mina: Alright everything looks fine in here.

Penny’s melancholic thoughts are interrupted by Mina giving her the all-clear. With that done she turns off the X-ray and they walk back to the exam bed.

Mina: Looks like everything is working fine and dandy I just need to ask you a few questions and we’ll be-

A buzzing cuts Mina off, it’s her scroll. She holds up a hand and mouths “excuse me” while fishing the device out of her pocket. It’s an urgent message, a huntress patient’s more delicate prosthetics had been damaged and needed immediate care before there was permanent damage to the organic tissue.

Mina: Oh no.

Penny: What is it?

Mina: An issue’s come up and my assistance is needed, or someone might die.

Penny: What?! No!

Mina: I know! Don’t worry I’m texting someone to come and finish up your exam. Just get dressed and stay put, they should be here soon!

She states as fast as she can coherently speak, not giving Penny time to respond before she rushes out of the room still typing as she speed-walks to her emergency patient. Now alone Penny gets redressed and waits on the exam bed for…

Penny: Wait, who did she text to finish the exam?

Penny wondered, having been left without any clue of who was coming to oversee the last part of her checkup. There were few people qualified or permitted to handle her medical information or care. Most were busy or relocated, her dad was busy, and she didn't think anyone else fit the criteria to tend to her. The answer comes when the door to the lab room opens and a familiar face walks through.

Her black gloves were replaced by a black cardigan with gold bows and ribbon embroidered down the long sleeves. Her usual long boots were swapped for ankle-high engine boots paired with long black stockings. And her sapphire hair had grown past her nape and down to her shoulder. But she still had her same wrapped collar shirt, high waist skirt, and the cheeky beret she never left home without. Regardless of any changes she was still her.

Penny: Ciel!

Penny cried, grinding ear to ear as she spotted her favorite handler. If not for the fact Penny knew Ciel didn’t like to be touched without permission, she would have tackled her into a hug by now! Still, the smile on her face makes it abundantly clear, she’s absolutely elated to see her again!

But as she approaches it appears that the feeling isn’t mutual. Ciel’s gaze is cold as she barely glances at Penny before pulling up the mini hologram screen on her smartwatch.

Ciel: Good afternoon, my name is Ciel Soleil, and I’ll be handling your post-exam questionnaire.

She states. Her voice is strict, professional, and impersonal. Penny blinked, bewildered by her icy tone.

Though she and Ciel hadn’t been the best of friends before, but Ciel had never been this cold to her. They got along well long before the tournament so she couldn’t understand where this attitude was coming from. Wanting answers Penny responded politely but firmly.

Penny: I know who you are, you worked as a junior in the robotics department under my dad. We went to Vale together-

Ciel: Thank you, now let’s get this over with. First question,

She interrupts her, disregarding Penny’s statement without a second of consideration.

Ciel: Have you experienced any auditor or visual glitches during daily activity?

Penny: N-no, I haven’t. Anyway, how have you been-

Ciel: Good, moving on.

She cuts her off again, barreling past any attempts at small talk. Her curtness is like a needle to the heart as Penny can’t understand why she’s acting this way.

Ciel: Any involuntary movement of your limbs during or after combat.

Penny: Ciel…

Ciel: Please answer the question.

Penny: No.

Ciel: Alright, moving on.

Ciel continues to rattle off health questions, never looking up from her screen as she inputs the correlating data. Penny answers in turn but can feel her chest squeeze at every failed attempt to get Ciel to converse with her openly.

Why was this happening? After how they had parted this should have been at tearful reunion. A joyous moment where the two could celebrate and reconnect after surviving impossible odds but instead, there was…nothing.

But why?

Had she done something wrong the last ten they spoke? What was causing Ciel, straightforward put together but kind and caring Ciel, to act like…this? Like they were complete strangers.

Penny: I don’t get it, she used to take such good care of me. So why…

Penny can feel herself tearing up, gripping the hem of her skirt as tries to holt them from flowing and complete the questionnaire. Ciel doesn’t even turn her head and begins to list the last few questions.

Ciel: Have you had any issues with digestion or waste disposal?

Penny: …No.

Ciel: Have you ingested any harmful or hazardous materials in the last few months?

Penny: …no.

Ciel: Have you experienced any impulses or curiosities of a sexual nature-wait, what?!

Penny: Excuse me?!

This question shocks both of them, Penny, especially as such a topic has never come up in a physical examination before!

Penny: Why would Dr. Echinacea even ask this?! I’ve never even had those kinds of-

Penny’s confusion is quickly cut when she recalls every time a certain white-haired gentleman had made her flustered in the last few months.

Penny: Oh…right.

Her face turns a bright red as she realizes her once-pure mind has generated and experienced enough lewdness in the wake of her first crush that it could detected on scans. The tingles that had both frightened and intrigued her were now markers of her evolution into a sexually aware young woman. Along with every ounce of pure awkwardness that entailed.

Meanwhile, Ciel is utterly aghast by this line of questioning and checks the list again to make sure she read it right. To her horror, that was indeed the correct question, and the last two also concerned topics of a sexual nature.

Ciel: What the hell is this?! What kind of crap show are they running here?!!!

She almost shouts, incensed by the idea that the Penny she knew would ever be asked something like this. The girl herself immediately picks up on her discomfort and tries to reassure her despite her own distress.

Penny: I-it’s okay! I’m fine with answering that-(hiccup)-Okay, not actually fine with it but I can answer if you need me to!

She stammers, face getting redder as she tries to spare them both the brunt of the embarrassment and fails miserably.

Ciel: Can’t believe this. As if scavenging her remains to build a replacement wasn't bad enough, they couldn’t even get the damn thing right!

Penny: What?

Penny questions confused and concerned about whatever misconception were running through Ciel’s thoughts right now, but the lady doesn’t hear her pleas.

Ciel: Penny would never even think of something bad enough to be asked this shit!!!

She grumbles, gritting her teeth in frustration. Penny’s thoughts jumble when she hears this, this was completely out of left field.

Penny: W-what? What are you talking about, Ciel? What replacement?!

She asks, frazzled by this ludicrous assumption Ciel was making but Ciel just scuffs.

Ciel: So, they didn’t tell you about the girl you were built from, huh? (huff) Figures.

She groans, face still turned away from Penny. This response elicits a rare reaction out of Penny, anger. How dare she say that when she had no idea the hell Penny had been through! Surviving that incident was an absolute nightmare that had scared her for life! Even now she was still recovering from the restlessness and fear that it bloomed in her! And to be written off after working so hard to overcome that suffering was something she couldn’t bear!

Penny: I wasn’t built from anyone, I was rescued! I had to cling to life for months while they put me back together!

Ciel: Is that what they told you? Or did they implant some fake memories to keep you docile and obedient?

This remark gets Penny fuming, how dare Ciel question her memories! She wasn’t even there when she woke up and she hadn’t reached out since so what gave her the right to talk like this?!

Penny: No one told me anything, I lived it! I went through so much pain and misery just to get back on up and outside again! I had to go through so much after I being cut in half-

Ciel: PENNY POLENDINA WAS CUT IN HALF!!!

She growls, gazes still downturned as she pulls at the ends of her sleeves.

Ciel: Penny Polendina was cut in half by Pyrrha Nikos during the Vytal Festival Tournament. She…died…she died on the cold floor of the arena in front of a stadium of people.

Ciel states, her matter-of-fact tone creeping into a weeper. This is what Ciel had believed but Penny knew that was far from the truth.

Penny: I was cut in half, but I didn’t die. My body shut down and put whatever remaining power it had left into keeping my brain alive and my soul put for as long as it could! When they recovered me, I was in terrible condition, but I was still alive!

Ciel: That isn’t possible, she was-

Penny: Shut up! I’m talking now!

Penny shouts, jumping up from the exam bed and matching right up to Ciel before continuing.

Penny: I was taken back to Atlas functional life support, not that I knew at the time because I was unconscious during all of it. When they stabilized me, transferred me to my new body, everything!

Ciel can’t even lift her head to contest her words as Penny proceeds with her tirade.

Penny: I couldn’t see, hear, or feel anything outside of my own mind. I was stuck in a black empty void for so long I couldn’t tell time if was passing anymore! Screaming to myself almost every second because I was scared I’d forget what sound was! That if I lost my last sense then I’d really die!!!

Tears begin to flow from her eyes, memories of that endless darkness shaking her to the core.

Penny: I had nightmares about being trapped in that hell again! I refused to sleep because I’d rather stay awake and let my mind fall apart than risk never getting back up!!!

Her shouts become choked as they blend into sobs, her tears running down her cheeks like a river as she recounts all the trauma she’d endured.

Penny: I have been through so much…too much…I’m Penny Polendina, The Penny Polendina! I was broken in half and survived every second of recovering from and living after it!!! SO DON’T YOU DARE…. Don’t you dare call me a copy, because I’m not.

Her breath hitches and she breaths hard, that was the first time she’d ever told anyone except her dad the full extent of her suffering but once she knew Ciel thought she had just died and been replaced she couldn’t keep it in!

It was too unfair! To her and Ciel.

Ciel doesn’t respond to anything Penny says, standing in perfect silence as she absorbs this massive revelation. Head still down, her hair curtaining her face and obscuring her expression. Penny doesn’t take this well, she can't stand being ignored after streaming out so much raw emotion.

Penny: Look at me, Ciel. Look at me!!!

She demands and Ciel does turn her head to look at her. Her eyes are glazed over with tears, the reflection of which calms Penny immediately. She reaches out to cup her cheek but stops just short to not cross Ciel’d boundaries. Looking at her, directly at her, Ciel gazes into her eyes and finally recognizes the girl she thought she’d lost forever. Not a fake or copy, but the same girl transformed in body and changed in mind but still the same kind soul.

Ciel: …Penny? You’re...really…

She can’t bring herself to finish her sentences and breaks down into a sobbing mess. Her once-steeled heart cracks open under the weight of the miracle she’s experiencing. Seeing her tears Penny does what she always does when she wants to cheer someone up and hold her close. Feeling her warm made the moment all too real, as real as the grief she felt when she watched Penny plunge to the ground in two pieces.

Her heart could hardly take it! A joy born from immense pain, healing, and hurting in a way she had never dreamed possible. But given the person who was holding her Ciel should have known some dreams could come true.

[dummyblob]

Incorrect quotes with Alison Siblings (characters are from Character.AI) part 2 :>

Atlas: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?

Clover: Why?

Atlas: Marcus fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.

Mara: Haven doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

(Don't know maybe it would happen?)

Haven: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Atlas will and will not eat.

Marcus: Grass? Yes!

Haven: Moss? Yes!!

Marcus: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Haven: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Marcus: Worms? Sometimes!

Haven: Rocks? Usually nah.

Marcus: Twigs? Usually!

Haven: Clover's cooking? Inconclusive!

Mara: How did you… test this?

Haven: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Mara: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Clover: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

(The boys just doing some dumb stuff)

Mara: Time for plan G.

Clover: Don’t you mean plan B?

Mara: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Atlas: What about plan D?

Mara: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Marcus: What about plan E?

Mara: I’m hoping not to use it. Haven dies in plan E.

Haven: I like plan E.

(Them when it's late night and want to eat some snacks:)

Mara: You three, explain right now!

Marcus: It was Atlas.

Haven: It was Atlas.

Clover: It was Atlas.

Atlas:

Atlas: …fuck.

(The time when Atlas broke Mara's pictures)

Clover: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

Atlas: Take them!

Haven: Punch them in the neck!

Marcus: Say thank you!

Mara: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Clover: …

Clover: No.

(I guess it is true that Clover was the only one who's normal-)

Atlas: Clover's first detention, I'm so proud.

Marcus: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention?

Haven: Because they're an idiot.

Mara, terrified: They can do that??

(Mara is an idiot-)

Marcus: How would you like your pancakes?

Haven: Plain.

Atlas: With sprinkles!

Clover: Chocolate chips.

Mara: Potatoes.

*Haven, Atlas, and Clover look at Mara*

Mara: What? They're good.

(Mara in love with potato too much-)

Mara: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Haven: ....

Marcus: .....

Clover: ......

Atlas: ..Who?

Mara: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Atlas*

(...)

[cygnoir]

2024 Week 37 Notes: R&R

Look at this absolutely good girl: my canine sister, Willa.

Concentrating on

Rest, relaxation, and quality time with loved ones! We’re visiting family in Pennsylvania this week and attending a wedding in Kentucky on Friday.

When packing, I restricted myself to three notebooks and three pens because I tend to overpack and then immediately regret as I am schlepping around a stationery store in my backpack.

Cultivating

✍🏻 Drafting two (very different) stories. I’m looking forward to time off work to let my creative writing brain percolate.

🥘 Food I made that was yummy:

Pork chops in garlic mushroom sauce, with mashed potatoes and salad on the side. I am not a huge fan of pork chops, but I got them in our CSA box, so I looked for a recipe that incorporated other things I am a huge fan of, like garlic and mushrooms.

🇮🇹 When my brain is full of Italian, I switch over to music lessons in Duolingo. It’s fun!

Consuming

🖋️ Only three pens means only three inks: De Atramentis Charles Dickens, Sailor Manyo Hinoki, and Robert Oster Sydney Lavender.

🎧 I heard “White Gloves” by Khruangbin for the first time in a while and forgot how much I enjoy their music.

🎙 Recently FunkyPlaid and I tried to watch the show “Kaos” and lasted about ten minutes. I had listened to the Pop Culture Happy Hour episode on the show and thought I might enjoy it.

🎲 No time for games this week. I’m looking forward to some Puzzmo!

📺 We started watching “My Brilliant Friend”, the adaptation of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan quartet, which I read last year and loved.

📚 What I’m reading and quoting:

“The Mountain in the Sea” by Ray Nayler: “How we see the world matters — but knowing how the world sees us also matters.”

Some links

I love Tracy Durnell’s latest weeknotes post. I’m not even mad at how it makes me feel like I’ve done absolutely nothing in comparison. 😂

Neither Elon Musk Nor Anybody Else Will Ever Colonize Mars (Albert Burneko)

Firefly Atlas: I’m eager to see fireflies while I’m here, so I’m doing some research.

One more thing

I was a bit anxious to travel during a COVID surge, so in addition to getting the new vaccine as soon as I could, I invested in a Flo Mask Pro to wear in airports, planes, and any other crowded spaces. I’m so glad I did; it was very comfortable to wear all day, once I got used to how it felt. My glasses didn’t fog up at all, which is a minor miracle. I did get some looks (you know the kind) but that was a small price to pay for a greater chance of avoiding Covid and/or Long Covid. I only saw a handful of other people masked.

[infinitethree]

Thank you, Lee! Apparently I'm just shit at explaining but I thought I was gonna have to quote someone else's explanation and just switch around names. Anyway excited to see you prove piglins have intelligence. Are you gonna do the same for endermen?

Also, rip my explanation of you-know-who, Lucid and Day. Looks like it got censored.

Lee squints at the air and makes a helpless shrugging gesture.

Then he remembers that, right, he’s obligated to answer now. That’s part of the deal of being a member of the Council; the perks come at a cost.

“That’s…complicated. For reasons you should already know,” he says, slowly, eyes flicking over to his Dad and Lucid.

The three of them are heading out to the bastion that Atlas regularly visits. Even as they crest the hill and see, he can’t help but note that despite some care being taken to clean up the area and make it safer…not a ton was done to make it nicer.

Along with them is Daz. After a semi-disastrous first meeting with the piglins, he had decided that he wasn’t ready to throw Lee into the deep end just yet…especially not when there were some notable stakes involved.

Not having to prove everything that Daz teaches him will do a hell of a lot to ease the process of learning from him. By now, Lee is confident that anything his teacher conveys to him isn’t just random shit he’s guessing at. Anything that he learns will have been tested to the best of Daz’s ability.

Convincing his dad and Lucid to let Daz come was surprisingly easy. Though it’s technically a bet, this is something that would ultimately involve them all as mods and/or admins. On top of that, Lee pointed out that Daz is very good at helping people.

It’s literally been his job for three years, after all. He’s likable and friendly enough that he could probably become, like, king of the bastion if he really put his mind to it.

There had been some light debate, but Lucid had said that it would be a good way to see how Daz handles an unfamiliar situation. Shocking events are the norm, after all.

It took pretty much every ounce of Lee’s shaky and fairly new acting skills to not burst into hysterical laughter at the idea that Daz was the one who wasn’t familiar with piglins.

Now that he knows the truth, it’s kind of insane how much everyone underestimates and dismisses Daz as the persona he wears in public. It would be insulting if that wasn’t the entire point.

Lee is the one leading the charge, though he hesitates as the piglins spot him. They don’t sem hostile– they’re all wearing obvious gold, though Daz’s is the least blatant. 

The piglin seems to perk up on realizing that it’s Daz, and puts their crossbow away to come over. They offer that greeting, and Daz does it back…though not as smoothly as before.

He says, brightly, “Piglins are really nice, actually. I think they really like my hair, and all the gold I wear! I swear I’ve heard a few make the same sound they make when they see gold. I think they kinda use it as a nickname…? At least the ones I’ve seen a few times before. I dunno, maybe I’m just memorable!”

The way he’s interacting with all of them seems to confuse literally everyone but Lee. He and Daz are pretty much the only ones who have anywhere near the full picture.

As they had planned, Lee fishes out a note and hands it over along with a handful of gold ingots. “I did some research and I think I found at least a partial dictionary. I’m asking for a bottle of water, some spectral arrows, some nether bricks, and a soul speed two book. Being able to read has to count as being intelligent, right?”

It’s not even a lie, but there’s another part to it– a request for them to understand that Daz has to play dumb, and an apology for not greeting them or speaking properly.

The piglin snorts, looking at the gold, and then at them. They seem to consider the offer, and then shake their head.

Lee frowns. He thought that he paid enough for that, though? But the piglin tries to hand the note and gold back.

Instead of taking it, Lee chews his lip. In the hopes that maybe this bastion is better at Common than the other one, he says, “We’re all mods, and that guy there–” he gestures at Lucid, “--is the admin. Uhhh…” he searches for the words, and hesitantly says them in what he hopes isn’t accidentally an insult.

The piglin straightens up, looking at them all more critically. They seem surprised, but not angry, so Lee continues, “We didn’t know you were intelligent. I’m only asking that you help me so that I can prove to them that you are. That proof will help– we can put protections in place, so that people don’t try to attack or steal from you. I don’t– I know know your language yet, I’m sorry, so I don’t know why my deal isn’t good enough.”

Frustration wells up as the piglin doesn’t give an overt response. They seem to think it over, and then grunt. They hold up the gold, and the note, and then do a motion that Lee doesn’t quite understand– the gold is lifted higher than the note is.

As he’s struggling to decipher it, Daz suddenly claps his hands. “Oh! Maybe you didn’t pay enough?” “But that’s four ingots, that’s how many items I asked for.” “Uhh…maybe by making a request, you’re asking for more. Usually it’s just, like– you get what you get. But if you’re asking for something, that must make it worth more, right?”

The piglin perks up and nods repeatedly.

Oh! That– makes a lot of sense, actually. He’s so fucking glad that he bought extra gold, just in case. He asks, “What are the new prices, then?”

The note is held up so that they can point to each item, and then a number of ingots are also lifted to show the prices. Arrows are bricks are still one, water is two, the book is five.

But he is asking a lot of them, as is Daz. He inclines his head and fishes the ingots out, along with an extra one. “As an apology for not understanding at first. Or, uh, a gift, if that makes it feel better?”

There’s a sound that seems like laughter, and the ingots are taken. The items are placed in his hands, one by one.

He beams and tells them, “Thank you! I feel like I got a very good deal. Separate from this, would it be okay if I come back after learning some more to try and better understand what would be best for your people? I don’t want to assume, or talk over you, but I also don’t want you to feel like we’re taking advantage of you. I want piglins to feel welcome in the server as well, not lesser just because you’re different than us. If that’s okay, I mean.”

There’s a wide smile and another nod, and then the piglin pats his head a few times. Then they turn to Daz, and ruffle his hair with what seems like more fondness. They point to Daz a few times, until Daz claps again. “Oh– do you want me to be there? Okay! I’m good at figuring stuff like this out. I really hope we can make sure piglins are given the respect you deserve.”

Daz waves cheerfully, then gasps and does a motion that Lee recognizes as a goodbye…just executed less angrily than the last one he saw. “Right, this is how you guys say goodbye, right? Thank you so much! It was really nice to see you, say hello if you see me again!”

It’s only after they’ve started leaving that Lucid sighs and says, “I’ve– definitely lost. That’s…how the fuck did nobody notice until now?”

Lee shrugs a little. “I mean…we didn’t expect it, so we didn’t look for it. We don’t look at ravagers or dogs to secretly have a rich society and intelligence, right? It doesn’t look like anything we would tolerate, so we dismiss it. And that assumption gets baked in and repeated, until it’s just taken as fact.”

He hears his dad and Lucid both stop. He and Daz turn around, and his teacher tilts his head to the side. “Lee is right, though. Just like how lots of people are weirded out by me because I don’t act like a typical Tommy, it seems crazy that we’d just– up and randomly realize that oh hey, those mobs we thought of as being kinda like animals that can do a neat trick are actually, like, super civilized but in a way we’re not used to recognizing as such. You kinda just see what you wanna see until given a good reason to believe otherwise.”

His Dad nods slowly. “I mean…yeah, but still. Atlas being able to get consistent trades should have been a tipoff to someone…” “Poor Attie is probably gonna kick himself over this,” Lee sighs, “Like, he thought they were about on the same level as villagers, so…”

“Wait,” Lucid says, horror suddenly dawning, “If this was under our noses– are there other mobs that are the same way? Or, uh, actually intelligent I mean.”

There is no way in hell that he can explain endfolk yet, especially because he can’t even approach them while supervised.

He fucked up the easy ones while trying to greet them. Daz doesn’t need to give him any warning, because he’s not dumb enough to out that secret while he knows even less than he did about piglins.

“Maybe? I’m not getting clear vibes,” Lee grimaces. “But we can probably rule out super hostile ones? I don’t think skeletons or zombies are gonna be able to do this, if there even are any others.”

Daz hums. “I feel like…if there are any, Lee is right. If you’re smart, you don’t try and attack the guys with swords and armor and stuff as just like, your normal way of doing things. I would probably look at passive, neutral, and even friendly mobs.”

The teacher who’s pretending to be dumber than he is starts to head back towards the portal, and laughs, “I’m really, really hopeful that axoltols have like, tiny villages underwater we’ve just overlooked! Imagine something that cute that be a really good companion…I’d have to set up a whole program of, like, partnering people with the little cuties!”

They trail after him and Day teases, “We’d have probably noticed that one by now. A bunch of people keep axolotls as pets, from what I hear.” “Don’t crush my dreams,” Daz huffs, acting almost like he’s pouting. “I will do my own research, thank you.”

Lucid silently shakes his head, probably dismissing the earlier show of insight as either a fluke or Daz just being naturally good at figuring this sort of thing out.

That’s the crazy part– how he can show intelligence to that extent and yet still play it off like it was all an accident.

If it wouldn’t raise more questions than Lee could answer, he’d give a round of applause.

Daz tilts his head to the side at the question, giving nothing away. “Claims…oh! That thing that Lee was telling me about, right? Where we give gifts that show we love someone…”

Day says, “You heard that too?” “Yeah! I guess ‘cause it also kinda involves me? Still weird to think I’m an admin…”

It’s not entirely a lie. A part of Daz still seethes about having been fucked up so badly because he was unlucky enough to be scooped up by the so-called-father.

Apparently Phil had found him on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, clearly abandoned and starving.

It would have been better for everyone if he had been left there to die. He already had blood on his hands then– whatever happened to his parents or guardians, they left him there alone.

The only two options is that they died because he loved them, or they realized he was cursed and discarded him like the wretched thing he always was.

Dying would have solved so many problems, but it seems like the universe just won’t let you die. I think it likes your suffering, Innit sneers. Or maybe there’s a god who’s enjoying your cycles. Every time the curse hits it gets more deadly.

There’s a long, almost pregnant pause, and then a near-croon of, I wonder how many you’ll kill this time?

A cold sweat goes down his spine. He can’t say he hasn’t been kept up by that thought– the knowledge that his love causes suffering, and loving him causes death. He’s woken up from countless nightmares of being surrounded by a sea of corpses, all of them staring at him in silent accusation.

But he can’t focus on that. He should keep his attention on the fact that, though this wasn’t addressed to him, it’s subtly calling him out.

Ribbons, bracelets, goggles, bandanas. All things tied back to his original reality…and mostly his once-mentor.

They would all be horrified if they knew that he had broken both halves of a claim between two admins. That he killed Dream, someone he loved like a brother, and destroyed the fragile tatters of his sanity even more.

Lucid’s brow furrows. “Tattoos, huh? I mean…at least that’s something that can’t be taken off. That should probably be used more than it is, right?”

A bitter laugh suddenly escapes from Day. Daz notes that a dark expression has twisted onto his face. “Taken off, no. Covered up…” “But it’s still there, under your clothes, right?” Daz tilts his head to the side in the other direction, like he’s not catching the implication.

“And under the coverup tattoo…technically. But not in any practical sense,” the immortal tells him. There’s a look in his eyes that makes something click in Daz’s head.

Ah! So that’s a huge part of why Day refuses to deal with the people who were once his friends. One of them must have had a tattoo covered up, and to an admin– especially one as ruined has Day had been– that was as good as telling him that they were enemies.

Doesn’t their entire group have one, though? So that doesn’t narrow the options much; realistically, it could have been any of them.

Still, he makes an appropriately stricken expression. “Oh Prime– Day, I’m so sorry, I had no idea!” He wraps his arms around the immortal in a hug, squeezing him tightly.

Day’s wings flare in surprise. “I– huh?” “Claims being rejected really hurts. It feels like your heart is being ripped out, every time…” he trails off, though he knows that it’ll raise more questions. “But you found new people who really love and treasure you. We’re kinda the same like that!”

“Who rejected you,” Lee demands, and Daz can imagine his eyes thin and wings poofed out in anger.

He ends the hug– Day still seeming shocked by it– and gives a sheepish smile. “It’s my fault. I wasn’t good enough…I should have been better for them. Only a bad kid would get rejected by their family, so…I must have been bad.” His brow furrows, and he repeats, “That’s the only thing that makes sense.”

As he wanted it to, what seems like understanding washes over both Day and Lucid. “That’s why you’re so– you got rejected as a kid, fuck, no wonder you’re so fixated on being good and useful!”

“I’m better about it,” Daz protests, frowning and pulling his limbs in close. He fidgets with his hoodie and doesn’t meet their eyes. “I– I know people get mad when I say that useful people are good, and so I have to be useful or I’m bad. I still kinda think it’s true, or at least it is for me, but Raine baps my head if he hears it. Or uses a newspaper, or something like that.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lee staring at him in mute horror. He can guess why the pieces don’t add up, and he stammers like it’s to all of them, “But, uhm–! I think we did really good today, right? We’re gonna help the piglins, so–”

Lee sees Daz stutter on the word, “S– so, we should, uh, probably split off, right?”

He’s reminded of the threat from the Scribe, that someone else was just as smart as him and just as able to be entertaining.

The implications of that bother him. He’s still deeply disturbed by what Daz had said– and not dumb enough to dismiss it entirely.

It’s a weird detail to make up if it’s not true. And he’d already mentioned that he’d been rejected before.

But his own family? Fuck, no wonder he’s so…like this.

It makes him feel a hum of protectiveness that he’s not really used to. Daz isn’t helpless, but Lee doesn’t know how else he could possibly feel.

This is someone who has done impossible things for him, the most incredible of which have been kept secret from all but a precious few people.

Lee always felt fond of him, but that fondness has shifted to a full-blown urge to claim and protect Daz.

If anyone in Sanctuary needs that, it’s this person. This calculating, manipulative person, who has been cut down so many times that he refuses to exist in public without donning a mask to make himself seem harmless.

He knows, even without the vibes, that Daz wouldn’t be able to accept it right now. Maybe once Lee has had more time learning “alongside” him, though…

Flicking his wings out, he finally answers, “Of course. But you’re wrong that I care about everyone the same. I love some people more than others…something you should know. Admins pick favorites, and you’ve spent several questions making sure we know that more than we already did.”

Chin kicking up, he scoffs, “I feel like you’re going for some sort of angle here and I don’t like it. If you have something to say, say it.” His eyes narrow, and he adds, “Or can you not, because you’re being censored? Are you trying to say something you shouldn’t? Are you sure that there won’t be consequences for doing so?”

He sees Daz staring at him, the other admin clearly trying to understand why he’s responding so aggressively.

It takes so, so, so much willpower not to grab his shoulders and scream that it’s because Daz is being threatened, and Lee has been raised by a family and around people that would demand blood for such an insult to their loved ones.

No matter what Daz wants to allow for him to do, Lee has already decided that he’s one of his people.

As soon as he can justify it, he’s putting a damn claim on him to ease the gnarled mess of trauma that lurks deep in his teacher’s heart.

[fairy-writes]

THE STARS THEMSELVES

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Requester: Just me, myself, and I

Fandom(s): Arcane: League of Legends

Pairing(s): Viktor x Co-Founder!Gender Neutral!Reader

Genre(s): Angst to Fluff

Request: None.

You are a co-founder of Hextech in this.

ALSO! This could be seen as a prequel to my other oneshot, “Stepping on Toes,” but you don’t have to read that one to understand this one. 

Catch my Doctor Who quote(s) in here and lmk if you find it.

__________________________________________________________________________

The laboratory was silent save for the sounds of you and Jayce tinkering. Viktor was nowhere to be found, having left a few minutes earlier and said something about getting more coffee. It was late into the night, but you wanted to get your invention completed. And you were going to get it done tonight. 

Jayce was working on the Atlas Gauntlets. You were working on your Hexlight. A new invention that was a mobile light source meant to help miners and workers in the Undercity to illuminate their way into the dangerous caverns.

“Will you hand me that wrench over there?” Jayce broke the silence, and you nodded, wordlessly handing the tool to your friend. He was more of a brother to you at this point, you having put your meager life savings into helping get Hextech off the ground. You were also a co-inventor. You had a knack for inventions and worked as a third set of eyes for both Viktor’s and Jayce’s works. 

After a few more moments of working, Viktor still hadn’t come back. At this, you frowned. Where was he?

“Hey, do you know where Viktor is?” You asked, and Jayce stopped what he was doing, sitting back in his chair as he mulled over your question. 

“No, do you need something from him?” He asked, and you shrugged,

“Just wondering what’s taking him so long, is all.” You replied and turned back to your work. You heard Jayce let out a quiet laugh. It sounded odd, so you looked over. He had a teasing grin on his lips, and you narrowed your eyes. What was he planning?

“When were you going to tell me you were in love with Viktor?” He asked abruptly, and you choked on your saliva. After your coughing fit had subsided, you glared at him.

“Where did that come from?!” You demanded, and he shrugged, holding his hands out in a ‘who knows?’ gesture. 

“You aren’t denying it.” Was all he said. You sputtered and tried to deny his statement, but nothing came out—because it would be a lie to refute that claim. As brilliant as Viktor was, you hoped he never picked up on your affections. He would never reciprocate anyway. He wasn’t stupid enough to.

His teasing smile turned smug.

“So you are in love with him!” He exclaimed, and you immediately shushed him. If Viktor was near, you didn’t want him to hear. That would only bring rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you’d be kicked out of Hextech completely for your stupidity. 

“Shut up!” You hissed and very nearly launched yourself across the space between you two in order to quiet the man when he let out a triumphant laugh. 

“I knew it! He loves you too, you know.” Your world stopped. Did he truly? No. That couldn’t be possible. He would never. You shook your head, voice trembling when you spoke next.

“That’s cruel.” You said, tears welling up in your eyes. Jayce looked taken aback and scrambled with his following words. 

“It’s true! He really does!” He exclaimed in an attempt to get you to calm down. 

Your temper abruptly flared. Typically it was something you prided yourself in keeping under control. But all emotions and control went out the window when it came to Viktor. 

How could he joke about something like that?

You asked him as much, and he continued to clamber and stumble with his words.

“I swear I’m not lying! You are the one who loves Viktor!” He said, and you exploded. 

“Yes, I am! I never denied it! But whoever said he loved me back? He's Viktor. He doesn't go around falling in love with people! And if you think he's anything that small, or that ordinary, then you haven't the first idea of your best friend!” You exclaimed, a single tear streaking your cheek as your temper raged and toiled. You could feel your cheeks burning in embarrassment as Jayce spoke again, digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole.

“Let’s just wait for him to get back. He can explain—”

“There’s no point! He doesn’t love me!” You cut him off, jabbing a finger towards the door. 

“Heaven knows where he is right now, but I promise you, he's doing whatever the hell he wants and not giving a damn about me! And I'm just fine with that!” Tears came faster now, dripping from your chin as you angrily wiped them away. You continued, “When you love Viktor, it's like loving the stars themselves! You don't expect a sunset to admire you back! And even if he was in here, let me tell you, Viktor is not stupid enough or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself accepting my feelings!”

“Do you mean all of that?” Came a familiar voice, and you whirled to see Viktor standing in the laboratory doorway, eyes as wide as your own. His hand holding the coffee mug was trembling, and you sniffled, shame making even more tears well up and drip down your face. In the corner of your eye, you noticed Jayce excusing himself and shutting the door behind him, effectively leaving you and Viktor alone.

He shuffled closer, his crutch thumping softly on the ground as he made his way to the table and set the mug down. Then, slowly, he turned to you. His eyes looked sad. He probably pitied you at this point. Pitied the poor you who had fallen in love with him, the person so far below him.

Viktor approached you hesitantly before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a handkerchief. You accepted it with a quiet ‘thank you’ and wiped your eyes. Your cheeks felt raw from your angry wiping.

“So…” He began, and you turned your head away, looking at your shoes instead of his beautiful amber eyes. Here it comes—his rejection. Your humiliation.

“Did you mean what you said?” His voice was quiet, little more than a whisper. You nodded your head, your voice just as soft as you spoke.

“Of course I did. Who wouldn’t love you?” He scoffed, and your head jerked up to look at him, confusion overtaking the self-deprecation briefly. He was looking at his right leg, his bad leg, in disdain. 

“Isn’t it obvious? Why would you love someone like me? I’m crippled and—”

“I don’t care about that.” Your words rushed out like a tidal wave in an attempt to stop his contempt. How could he hate himself like that? He looked at you, eyes beginning to glimmer with hope.

Hope? 

Hope for what?

That didn’t matter now. You had to reassure him, had to make him see. Humiliation was the last thing on your mind now.

“You are brilliant and important and beautiful and oh so kind. I don’t care that you can’t do things other people can. All I care about is you, Viktor. Everything about you.” Voice wobbling, hands clenched, you only hoped he understood what you were feeling. 

So you were surprised when he had tears of his own well up in his eyes. His hand began to tremble again, and he hobbled forward a step or two.

“You think I’m important?” He sounded like a scared little boy, and it broke your heart. You offered a watery smile,

“In all my time alive, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important.”

Finally, he stood toe to toe with you, looking into your eyes as if searching for any deceit. He searched your gaze as you searched his, eyes flitting to make sure he wouldn’t begin laughing in your face. Wouldn’t start laughing and cast you out.

All you found was honesty.

Honesty and love.

Love?

With a tentative hand, you reached and placed it on his cheek. He reached up with his free hand and put it over yours, cradling it to his jawline. Warm fuzzies began to flutter in your stomach. Was he—?

“I—” He paused as if trying to find the words. After a moment, he steeled himself, squaring his shoulders but never letting your hand fall away. “I care for you… deeply. It’s like looking at the stars when I look at you. If you look at one long enough, all the others will melt away. That is what I feel when I look at you.” He said and leaned his forehead onto yours. 

You couldn’t breathe, heart stuttering in your chest as you processed his words. He cared. You could even say he loved you. 

You loved him, and he loved you.

That sounded nice. Having someone to love. 

[wingsfreedom]

Zuko's inferiority-complex

"I finally have you, but I can't get you home because of this blizzard. There's always something. Not that you would understand.

You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her."

You know, this confession --when Zuko arguably was at his lowest point-- is actually interesting. It reveals the heart of the problem Zuko has with his sister.

Zuko didn't complain about how mean Azula supposedly is or how badly she treats him -- what hurts him most are her success and popularity (which atla lore archive even reinforces) and how she supposedly has his father's affections while he has none of that, and this makes him feel bad about himself; it makes him feel lesser in comparison -- the comparison, he suffers from it.

"I guess you wouldn't understand, would you, Azula? Because you're just so perfect."

It results in his aggression towards his sister ever since they were children:

"I don't care I don't want to play with you!" (Zuko Alone)

"What are you doing here!" (The Avatar State),

(He jumps at Azula aggressively even when she behaves well towards him.)

And his need to (not be her equal) but affirm superiority over her:

Suki: "This is the rematch I've been waiting for."

Zuko: "Me, too."

Zuko, to Katara: "How would you like to help me put Azula in her place?"

Now, what is the root of this problem you may ask?

"My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born.

I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am."

His father sets up his sister as a standard for his worth.

On the other hand, the second half of the quote is the standard his mother set for him, but it doesn't overwrite his father's standard: Zuko believes he could surpass the "lucky" one if he tried hard enough. (This is part of Ursa's faults in parenting; she encouraged the rivalry without even realizing)

So, Zuko's aggression is not motivated by Azula's cruelty, but competition and misdirected anger (the anger which most objectively should be directed at his father), that even after he turned on Ozai, even after Azula tried to be a better sister (whether he believed it or not) it wasn't overwritten because Ozai's words and upbringing make it out to be part of his identity, much like Ursa's words and upbringing.

After all, Zuko compared Azula to his single minded obsession i.e the Avatar -- in essence both of them were in the way of what he desires most.

"I want it back. I want the Avatar (=), I want my honor, my throne. I want my father not to think I'm worthless."

"You're like my sister."

For Zuko, Azula was always "in the way"; of his father's approval, of his throne, of his worth.

She's both an obstacle and the Goal to Beat, someone Zuko wants to be like AND put down. And this brings the worst in himself.

P.S this is where Iroh gets his second handed perspective on his niece, the niece he's not interested in bonding with. Iroh most likely doesn’t even know how Ursa and Ozai influenced Zuko, since Zuko believes it as truth.

[makiema]

finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 

[blackspoon99]

The Sign of Three Pt. 3

Sherlock x Female! Reader

TW: Drinking, Language, Potential Emetophobia (If you’ve seen this episode, you know), Spoilers to Season 3

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Part 5

“Of course, there’s hours of material here, but I’ve cut it down to the really good bits.”

Oh god, the stag night. You almost laughed just thinking about it. It was unbelievable that Sherlock was willingly telling this story to an audience. You were fortunate enough to witness some of the events of the night firsthand.

The story began the morning of in Baker Street, 11 am:

It was a Saturday morning, and you were over having tea with Sherlock. For the two of you, “having tea” consisted of you both reading in complete silence while you happened to be drinking tea. It was a common occurrence, and for you, it was a treasured tradition. You were curled up in John’s chair opposite Sherlock. Today, you were reading Emma by Jane Austen. You peeked over at Sherlock to see what he was reading. Sherlock was reading a book titled “Atlas of Forensic Pathology”. Riveting. The book looked so heavy; it would probably go straight through the floor if he dropped it.

You returned to your book. This was probably your third time reading the Jane Austen classic. You were inexplicably drawn to the plot, the message, the love story, all of it. You finally were at your favorite part. When Mr. Knightly said to Emma, “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” You looked at Sherlock over the pages of your book. You couldn’t help but consider the relevance of the quote in your own life.

When you first came to terms with the fact that you were in love with Sherlock, the feeling had burned through you. You couldn’t focus and constantly fought the urge to tell him. Possibly because of the several near-death experiences you'd had. After you made up with Sherlock at the engagement party, the feeling persisted but it was almost duller, easier to live with. You’d slowly regained security in Sherlock’s role in your life and you no longer constantly worried he’d leave again. You returned to your version of mundane and your unrequited feelings for Sherlock became the new normal. It had become more of a consistent ache than a burn.

Sherlock interrupted your thoughts: “Shouldn’t it be relatively easy to find a new book to read if you work in a bookstore?”

“True, but I like this one,” you said without looking up from your book.

“Why? What do you gain from reading a convoluted story of questionable morals that provides no useful information?”

You finally put your book down. “Because, I like to read for fun. Maybe you should try it sometime.”

Sherlock smiled and scoffed at you then returned to his book.

You shook your head and downed the rest of your tea. “Okay, I’ve got to go to work.” You got up and took your mug to the kitchen. On your way back to gather your things, you noticed an open file on the kitchen table that looked like a John Watson scrapbook. You pulled the first paper off the stack to see a cutout of John’s head pasted onto the Vitruvian Man. “Sherlock?” you called over your shoulder, “What’s this file for?”

“What file?” He asked.

You picked up the file and carried it back to the living room. You returned to your seat and started thumbing through it.

“Oh. That’s for the stag night,” said Sherlock.

“Stag night? I didn’t think you would want to do that sort of thing”

“Why not?” He swiftly closed his book. If you didn’t know better, you’d take the action as a sign of offense.

“Uh, no reason,” you said hastily. The file was full of peer-reviewed studies on alcohol consumption, detailed chemistry notes, and copies of John’s medical records. The last page was a detailed schedule of where they were going and how much they were going to drink every hour. “This is awfully thorough.”

“I needed to ensure the maximum amount of enjoyment for the both of us for the duration of the night.”

“How considerate of you.” You put the file down and leaned forward. “So, what do you have planned?”

“John and I will be drinking at a pub on every street we ever found a corpse.”

“That is oddly perfect for the both of you.”

“I thought so,” Sherlock said with a grin.

You looked at the time. If you didn’t leave now, you’d be late. “Well, I’m off. See you later, Sherlock.”

“Yes, yes, goodbye,” he mumbled and returned to reading. You left the file on the table, gathered your belongings, and left for your shift. 

---------------------------------

Later that evening:

You closed the bookshop at 8 pm and headed to the tube station. As you made your way through the crowded streets, you heard your phone ringing. You dug through your bag to find it as you walked. You saw Sherlock’s name on the caller ID and answered it. Your ears were immediately assaulted by electronic dance music.

You heard Sherlock’s voice first “Shut up John, I’m calling her.” He shouted over the music

“Who?” you then recognized John’s voice.

“Her John, I’m calling her!”

You struggled to hear the call over the booming music “Hello?? Sherlock? Why are you calling me?”

“Oh! It’s y/n! Hello!” John shouted into the phone. You winced at the volume.

“John? Where are you? Are you drunk?”

“Stag night! Sherlock tried to measure my piss. Then he got into a fight.”

“Give me that back” Sherlock’s voice “Y/n meet us back at Baker Street. It’s an ‘mergency”

“What did you say? Sherlock? It’s really hard to hear,”

“Baker Street. Now!” He shouted then hung up.

For a moment, you stood in the street, dumbfounded. It was only 8 pm and both Sherlock and John were piss drunk at some club. You couldn’t even begin to process the rest of the information. So much for Sherlock’s plan, although it did seem like they had “maximized their enjoyment”. You weren’t about to miss this.

——————————

You arrived at Baker Street by 8:30 pm. You opened the door to find Sherlock and John laying across the bottom of the stairs. “Hello boys, I’m here.” You announced.

At the sound of your voice, Sherlock and John scrambled to sit upright. Sherlock fell down a step in the process. You tried your best to suppress your laughter. “So, I’m here. What’s the emergency, Sherlock?”

“Right, you,” He said, raising his arm to point at you. “Upstairs.”

You watched Sherlock and John slowly stand up. John lifted one foot to climb the stairs, then stumbled backward.

“Do you need help, John?” You asked.

“Nah,” he said, “‘s alright, I’m fine. I can do it myself.”  

You slowly helped Sherlock and John up and into the flat. Sherlock tried to take off his coat, but his arms got stuck behind him. You giggled and gently pulled his coat off him and hung it on the coat rack. You lead Sherlock over to his chair and he flopped down into it.

You went into the kitchen to get some water for him and John. You figured they’d need it. You searched the cabinets, but there wasn’t a clean glass in sight. You resorted to the clean beakers on the countertops instead. You poured two 250mL beakers most of the way with water and walked them back into the living room. When you returned, Sherlock was sitting in his chair. He was drinking from a glass of scotch.

“Sherlock,” you groaned. “Where did you get that?” You attempted to reach for the glass, but he pulled his hand away, spilling it all over himself.

“It’s okay, this is fine,” he said, staring at his scotch-soaked shirt. “Oh,” he started. “I almost forgot,” Sherlock leaned over the side of his chair to grab something off the floor “You left this,” Sherlock said and handed you your copy of Emma. You hadn’t even realized it was gone.

“That was the emergency?”

“I still don’t understand how you could read this 3 times,” Sherlock slurred. “It’s so- what’s the word? Incorrect? ‘There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.’ What an absurd thing to say” He contorted his face into an expression of disgust and took a sip of scotch from the glass in his hand.

“You read it? Today?” The fact that Sherlock had gone out of his way to read your favorite book made you unnaturally happy. You knew not to read into the things with Sherlock, but sometimes you couldn’t help yourself.

“You left it behind and I was so bored. Besides, I had to understand why you liked it so much. I still don’t know.”

You leaned over and snatched the glass of scotch from him. “I don’t think that’s the best idea, do you?” You handed him the beaker of water.

“Thank you,” he said with a goofy grin. In all the years you’d known Sherlock, you had never seen him like this. It was odd to say the least yet decidedly hilarious.

“Where’s John?”

Sherlock didn’t answer but pointed in the general direction of the bathroom. You decided to take the seat opposite Sherlock. As you sat down, Sherlock put his water on the floor. He then leaned forward and put his head in his hands, staring at you.

“What are you doing, Sherlock?” you asked.

“You,” he said, pointing at your face “are so hard to figure out sometimes, you know that?”

“Me?”

“It’s soooooo annoying. I can tell what almost everyone is thinking all the time, but not always you.”

“You think I’m hard to read?”

“Yes, you. Y/n L/n.” He waved his hands around while he slightly slurred his words.

“Okay then, how about this: I tell you what I’m thinking right now, and you do the same. Then, for one moment, we can understand each other completely.”

Sherlock furrowed his brow “You first.”

“I’m thinking… that I’m glad you called me.” Sherlock smiled and nodded. You giggled, “Now it’s your turn, and don��t lie to me. What are you thinking in this moment?”

Sherlock paused. “I’m thinking that my shirt’s all wet,” he said with a slight frown.

“That’s your own fault,” you said, putting one hand over your mouth to contain your laughter.

John re-entered the room holding post-it notes and a sharpie. “I’ve just had the best idea,” he said with a sloppy grin.

-----------------------------

The three of you all had post-its stuck to your foreheads, each with names written down. John sat in the client’s seat with the name MADONNA scribbled on the piece of paper stuck to his forehead. Sherlock, much to your enjoyment, had SHERLOCK HOLMES sloppily written on his forehead. As per the game, you had no idea what was written on yours. Sherlock was lounging back in his chair, resting his head on his hand.

“Am I a vegetable?” asked John

“You? Or the thing?” Sherlock asked smiling. The two of them snickered.

“Funny!” said John.

Sherlock looked down and smiled. “Thank you,” he choked out.

“To answer your question, John, no,” you said.

“Your go, Sherlock,” said John.

“Erm…. am I human?” he asked, turning to you.

“Sometimes,” you said with a smirk.

“No, no, it can’t be sometimes, can’t have that…”

“Fine. Yes, you’re human” you confirmed. “My turn. Am I a man?”

“Yeeep” answered John. “Sherlock, you again,” John said, forgetting it was his turn.

“Am I a man?”

John nodded. Sherlock kept going. “Am I a tall man?”

John looked at you and started laughing before he even spoke “Mm, not as tall as people think.” John’s head flopped to the side as he let out a hiccup

“Nice?”

“Ishh,” John said skeptically.

“Clever?”

“I’d say so,” you interjected.

“Do people…” he made air quotes as he spoke the word ‘people’ “... like me?”

“Not really,” you said, chuckling “You tend to rub them the wrong way.” If you had to babysit your adult drunk friends, you might as well have some fun.

“Hm,” Sherlock nodded intently. “Am I the current King of England?”

You and John immediately burst into laughter. “Good guess, Sherlock. But you do know England doesn’t have a king?” 

“Don’t we?”

“No,” John said. “Y/n, you go now”

“Right, okay. Am I a friend of ours?”

“Ehh, yes?” Sherlock said.

“Yes, yes they are Sherlock,” said John “Jesus.”

“Well, that narrows it down significantly. Am I Greg?”

“Who’s Greg?” Sherlock asked.

You rolled your eyes and took the post-it off your forehead. The name “Gavin” was written on it in Sherlock’s handwriting. Of course.

“Hey!” Sherlock yelled, “Cheater, that’s cheating. John, did you see that? Y/n’s cheating.” Sherlock got up and took the post-it from your hand. He leaned forward and stuck it back on your forehead. “There. Now it’s John’s turn.”

“Am I a woman?” asked John. He slumped in his seat. Sherlock immediately started giggling. “What?” John asked.

“Yes,” confirmed Sherlock

“Am I a pretty woman?”

“Er, beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, influences, and role models.”

“But am I pretty?” John asked again.

“Yeah, Sherlock? Is John a pretty woman?”

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know who you’re supposed to be.”

“What?! You picked the name,” John said.

“Ah, but I picked it at random from the papers,” Sherlock said, flailing his arm over to the stack of newspapers in the corner.

“I don’t think you understand the point of this game, Sherlock,” you added.

“So, I am human, I’m not as tall as people think I am ... I’m-I’m nice-ish ... clever, but I tend to rub them up the wrong way.”

“That’s correct,” said John.

“I’m you, aren’t I?” Sherlock asked, pointing to John.

“Ooh-ooh!” Mrs. Hudson chirped as she knocked on the door. “Client!” Behind Mrs. Hudson was a woman wearing a nurse’s outfit with a cardigan over it. You scrambled to take the post-it off your forehead as you stood up.

“Hello, I’m sorry, but this really isn’t a good time—”

Sherlock immediately stood up and interrupted you. “It’s not a bad time, no, no Y/n. We always help a person in need.”

“Do we?” you said with a forced smile and looked over at John for help. John just stared back blankly at you with a goofy drunken smile.

The woman beamed “Thank you,” she said. “Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?”

John imitated a slide whistle, and pointed to Sherlock’s post-it on his forehead. Sherlock flashed a wide toothy grin. You put your head in your hands in defeat.

----------------------------------------------------------------

A few moments later, you’d made the woman, Tessa, some tea, and you John and Sherlock were sitting on the couch. Sherlock was sat in between you and John. Tessa sat in a chair opposite the three of you.

“I don’t ... a lot ... I mean, I don’t ... date all that much ... and ... he seemed ... nice, you know?”

You looked over at Sherlock and John hoping they could keep it together. John was blinking slowly and heavily while trying to stay awake. Sherlock was listening to Tessa’s story intently.

She continued. “We seemed to automatically connect. We had one night – dinner, such interesting conversation. It was ... lovely. To be honest, I’d love to have gone further ...”

Beside you, Sherlock closed his eyes and began to lean into your shoulder, dozing off. You subtly elbowed him, and he straightened up abruptly.

“But I thought, no, this is special. Let’s take it slowly, exchange numbers. He said he’d get in touch and then ... Maybe he wasn’t quite as keen as I was ...”

You looked over at John who was practically asleep with his eyes open. He had a blank stare and his mouth hung slightly open.

“But I – I just thought ... at least he’d call to say that we were finished,” Tessa concluded, tearing up slightly and looking at the floor. Immediately, Sherlock’s face contorted into an expression of sympathy as he dramatically brought his hand to his mouth. You stared in disbelief and handed Tessa a tissue. “Thank you,” she said to you. “I went round there, to his flat. No trace of him. Mr. Holmes…”

Sherlock leaned forward and rested his head on his hands.

“I honestly think I had dinner ... with a ghost.”

You and Tessa waited to hear what Sherlock had to say. You leaned forward to look at Sherlock and John’s faces only to discover they had both fallen asleep.

“With a ghost, Mr. Holmes!” Tessa repeated, louder.

You sharply elbowed Sherlock in the ribs much harder than before, and he sprung awake. “Boring, boring, boring,” he mumbled, then turned to you and put his hands on either side of your head. “No! fascinating!” He exclaimed, his face right up close to yours. Sherlock then turned to John “John – John! Wake up!” John finally stirred awake.

“I’m up,” he mumbled.

“Apologies about my ... you know ... thing,” Sherlock said, pointing at John. “Rude. Rude!” he yelled straight into your ear. You grimaced at the loud noise and put your hand on Sherlock’s forearm to settle him.

“Yes, that’s enough, Sherlock,” you whispered. “Uhm, go on, Tessa.”

“I checked with the landlord, and the man who lived there died. Heart attack. And there we are, having dinner one week on.” She turned and began to rummage through her purse. She pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper and handed it to Sherlock. You grabbed it before he could take it. It was a print-out of an online chatroom. “And I found this thing online, sort of chatroom thing for girls who think they’re dating men from the spirit world.”

You nodded. This actually seemed like a decent case. Too bad Sherlock and John probably wouldn’t remember one word of it tomorrow. Sherlock tried to stand up next to you, wobbled, and then put one hand on the top of your head to steady himself. You groaned and struggled to untangle his hand from your hair.

“Don’t worry. I’ll find him in ten minutes,” Sherlock said confidently. Tessa smiled in relief. “What’s your dog’s name?”

You facepalmed and stood up next to Sherlock. He leaned over to wake up John. “John! Wake up! We’re meant to ... The game’s ... something” he said, waving his hand around.

“On!” yelled John.

“Yes, that,” Sherlock said, walking out the door. “Come on, Y/n.”

“Wait, Sherlock. Where are you going?” You protested, following him down the stairs.

“That’s a good question. Where are we going?” he asked Tessa in the foyer.

“Oh! Well, I suppose we ought to go to his flat,” Tessa said.

“Sherlock, no,” you said, “You can’t leave...” you looked off the the side awkwardly “…like this.” He ignored you and dragged John out to the sidewalk by his sweater sleeve. He stepped out into the street and hailed down a cab.

“40a, Jasmine Grove,” interjected Tessa as the cab pulled up.

“Are you coming Y/n?” Sherlock slurred.

“No!” you yelled. “And neither are you.” Before you could reach him, Sherlock climbed into the cab after John and Tessa and slammed the cab door in your face. The car drove off. 

“Come on, really?!” you yelled in frustration. Now you had to follow them. You ran to the edge of the sidewalk and decided to call a cab for yourself.

--------------------------------------------------------

You finally made it to the apartment to see Tessa and a man you presumed to be the landlord standing by the door. It was a rather modern apartment with exposed brick and abstract furniture. John was standing in the corner with his hands crossed over his chest and his lips pursed. He was swaying slightly, trying to keep his balance. You pushed past the landlord to see Sherlock kneeling on a shag carpet holding his pocket magnifier. As soon as you walked in, he face-planted into the carpet and passed out.

“He’s clueing for looks” John announced, proudly.

“Oh god,” you said, scrambling over to Sherlock. You grabbed his upper arm and tried to pull him up. God, he was heavy. 

“That’s it, I’m calling the police.” The landlord pulled out his cell phone.

“No, no, please, that won’t be necessary,” you protested.

“This is a famous detective. It’s Sherlock Holmes and his partner, John Hamish Watson,” Tessa clarified.

You finally managed to get Sherlock to straighten up. “When did you get here?” Sherlock asked, looking up at you. Then, he bent over and immediately threw up on the carpet.

“Ugh why?” you groaned and plugged your nose. Sherlock wiped his mouth on his sleeve and then clicked his magnifier shut.

------------------------------------------------------

The next morning…

The landlord had called the police and the night ended with you watching Sherlock and John being driven away in the back of a police car. You’d immediately called Greg hoping he’d let them go. Greg had said the best he could do was try and let them off with a warning if they spent the night in the drunk tank. When the station opened, Greg sent you a photo of Sherlock and John asleep in a cell with the caption “Come and get ‘em!”

You walked into Scotland Yard and Greg was there to meet you. “Thank you, Greg,” you said, handing him one of the 4 coffees you’d brought.

“God, what on earth happened to them?” Greg asked, taking a sip from the coffee you gave him.

“Stag night got a bit out of hand,” you said. “Afraid I lost control of the situation.”  

“You can say that again,” agreed Greg as the two of you walked through the station to the drunk tank.

“Rise and Shine!” Greg bellowed as he swung open the door. John was awake and sitting on the floor. He had his hands on his head while Sherlock was still fast asleep on the bench.

“Oh my god,” John said, grimacing in pain. “Is that Greg?”

“Get up,” he said “Y/n’s come to collect you. Managed to square things with the desk sergeant.” John painfully and slowly got up. “What a couple of lightweights! Y/n said you couldn’t even make it to closing time!”

“Yeah, could you whisper?” John asked.

“NOT REALLY!” Greg shouted straight into his ear. Across the cell, Sherlock jolted awake, mouth wide open in shock. He tried to stand up, then fell backward back onto the bench. You walked over and helped him up.

“There you go, Sherlock. Nice and easy,” you said quietly and handed him one of the coffees. He took it and stumbled out of the cell, head down. He looked like hell, not to mention the way he smelled. You caught up to John and handed him one of the remaining coffees, leaving the last for yourself. You took a sip of your coffee and continued down the hall. 

“Well, thanks for a ... you know ... an evening,” John said to Sherlock.

“Oh, it was awful,” Sherlock said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I was gonna pretend, but it was, truly,” said John. He then turned to you. “Y/n, I am so sorry, that was—”

“It’s okay, I had fun,” you said with a smile.

“At least someone did,” said Sherlock. “That woman, Tessa, dated a ghost. The most interesting case for months. What a wasted opportunity.”

“Really? That’s your takeaway from this?” you asked. He shrugged. “Come on, boys, let’s get you home.” 

A/N: Stag night! I love this part of the episode, so I hope I did it justice. Funny story. When I was writing this, I was trying to find real book titles for Sherlock to read and I came across a real book titled “Surrounded by Idiots” I wanted to use it in the story SO BAD but it was so perfect, that it sounded cheesy and made up lmao. I’m 100% certain Sherlock would have it in his bookcase though. 

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