#I tried like 20 times so far
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Today I wanna talk about a very important thing
Why is Lucas holding a cane here
and why isn't this cane is like never mentioned?!
#So did someone pulled a card for the butler's wedding party?#I tried like 20 times so far#didn't get any card :(#Lucas Thompscie
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Bit of a weird question, but what is your overall least favorite thing about MLP? 
Sparity.
#magicalgrimm#ask me#there’s a later season episode (post spike getting wings) that Tulli and I could not finish because it was so awful#where rarity’s feeling lonely without spike who’s grown up and moved on from his crush on her#so she gets extremely clingy and manipulatey to get this. teenage boy to pay attention and worship her again#and rarity gets visibly jealous of spike spending time with another teenage dragon girl#it’s extremely extremely creepy. by FAR rarity’s absolute worst rock bottom moment#actual textbook groomer behavior#and even worse the episode kinda shits on rarijack where rarity tried to replace spike with applejack in helping her#but aj fails and fucks things up and isn’t right for the job. so the episode implies spike is a better match with rarity than applejack#it’s just all sorts of wrong eugh.#sparity just sucks so bad I can’t believe a good chunk of bronies still ship them or consider them a viable ship#I’m fine with spike having a kid crush on rarity it happens with kids#but the more the writers just kept teasing and toying and baiting it. overstayed its welcome#especially because they have no chemistry. spike doesn’t have a reason for liking rarity other than “hot woman in her mid-20s’
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maybe an insane d20 ship but burrow's end ava/silence tho...
old person romance!!! ava always speaking her mind and never shutting up and being allergic to real emotions vs hester feeling the pain of their sister maiming and then leaving them for twenty years and still being vulnerable to write it down and express it the only way they can despite the loss of their jaw. silence surviving to see what their sister has become, feeling despair and grief and betrayal but also can't deny that they still love her bc that's their sister, and getting ava to share her own guilt and helplessness about kenji; ava talking abt raising tula and viola by herself and hester talking about whatever kind of family they had with the other first stoats, and how their role functioned at last bast with so many stoats gradually finding their way over the years--the responsibility of providing a home in the aftermath of death and doing it while holding the guilt that you werent enough to save the person you love the most in the whole world.
(hester getting jaw surgery with the help of human science and the light, so they don't have to wear a gas mask all the time, and speaking for the first time in 20 years. tula never quite trusting silence and always giving them the stink-eye, and bennet being kind of awkward 'cuz ava is awesome and intimidating as an in-law but her partner is his former boss and both his in-laws will probably live way longer than him and it's kind of weird. i think thorn would be worried about his role as stoat representative and the stoatal relationship w humans, right up until silence confirms they are 100p on-board and then he will relax completely around them, but viola will always be sketched out as well, like her sister. lila will also follow tula's lead, but jaysohn would follow ava's and end up bragging often about both his cool and powerful grandparents. the painfully awkward conversation that ava brings up all by herself to the suffering of everyone else including hester when she has the "they could never replace your father" conversation, even tho tula's already with bennet at this time and thus has had this convo with her own kids already, and hester knows they're not kenji and would never try to insert themself like that into ava's kids' or even grandkids' lives, but ava insists on talking about it bc she's doing emotions now! embracing change! and this is truly one of the only times tula and viola and hester lock eyes and understand the frustration and love they all have for ava lol.)
this got long!!! oops. but ye, ava came back from the dead to yell in silence's face about how much they don't scare her and i was like "i'd ship it" and i stand by it lmao.
#rei rambles#burrow's end spoilers#erika ishii#aabria iyengar#dimension 20#burrow's end#ava burrow's end#i know they were the Bad Guys and i totally get why tula attavked right away#but i was yelling the entire time abt how they werent getting the lore-drop LOL and i picked silence out as my fave#bc of the mask and the way they kept trying to say smth. and like. theyre missing their JAW so you KNOW smth tragic happened!!!#(not me thinking about dabi like dont look at me lol.)#anyways felt v vindicated when the kids found their journal and it revealed that they were the one that suffered the most bc#that was their sister!!!!!! they tried to stop their sister from going for more and they failed and got maimed#and they still loved her enough to name a place of power and religion and ceremony after their sister's heart. 🥺#anyways yeah there are serious reasons to ship them w ava but also the unserious reason is that i will always love loud/quiet ships hahaha.#and also any ship that starts on the battlefield ofc 😌#i really felt aabria when she was trying to stuck up for nuance in antagonists in that one adventuring party 😂😂#but yeah at the end of the day like. the dictator 100p killed sybil in front of them so. 💀#idk if the rest of the first stoats survive in this au btw. i didnt think abt it that far.
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my friendship has ended with the sims 3
#every time i tried to save my game it just crashed straight to desktop#idk why#i had to move poppy to a new save with nraas porter and i haven't had any problems so far with it#but still it was annoying as hell to just make progress in the game and then it maybe saved one time and i was like yay it works now!!!!!!!#and the next time it crashed again#and i kept losing like 20 minutes of progress over and over again#anyway knock on wood it works now i will be so mad if not#💬
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the answer to the question of "is vector espio and charmys dad or older brother" is that hes basically charmys dad but to espio he is a secret third thing. some kind of in between of the two options. you cant really fit their relationship into one of the traditional family role boxes but theyre family and thats all that matters. btw.
#i love dad vector and i do think he tries to play a fatherly role to both of them since hes the only adult around#20 year old college dropout trying so hard to be a cool dad to a 16 year old and a 6 year old who are also technically his coworkers#well as far as other adults who can be parental figures go theres vanilla i guess but we dont really see her very often do we#actually has she even interacted with team chaotix outside of sonic x and that one issue of idw sonic.#ok whatever ANYWAYS. considering vector and espio are a lot closer in age than vector and charmy#i think they can be more like siblings sometimes. but other times theyre more like parent and child.#again theyre a secret third thing like i said. they dont strictly fit one label or the other
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how on earth were our lady of the charred visage and tres angustias EASIER to kill than ten piedad
#i just. couldnt get the timing right on ten piedad for ages#it took me something like 20-30 tries before i got it#meanwhile it only took three for our lady and just one for tres angustias#blasphemous#also lol. my muscle memory made me attack our lady's hands bc thats what youre supposed to do in zelda#before you can attack the head#but nah as far as i can tell the hands are invincible and just exist to cause pain#w/e i killed her so its not like i have to worry about it
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just went down a roman history wiki rabbit hole after looking up agrippa bc of the time of fever and omg y'all the dramaaaaa
#i was like there has to be significance of his bust and donghee comparing hotae to him and i was right! literally paused the ep 40 mins ago#i started on agrippa's wiki but when i read he married augustus's daughter i had to go check her out and then i went to augustus#they were wild. 'close friends' my brother in christ he had agrippa dug up and put into his masoleum so they'd be together......#maybe all this is common knowledge but outside of the name augustus and his general role in history i knew nothing so this was fun#can't wait to continue my rewatch with all this in mind#update it's been 20 minutes since i typed all that and i actually went back to look at the other bust which they didn't name and#it doesn't look like the majority of augustus busts. HOWEVER. i did find one so i'll take it <3#i tried searching for that bust specifically but couldnt find it. close one was a later emperor but for the purpose of the story it has to#be augustus. also bc the bust resembles donghee#they wouldn't have mentioned agrippa if they weren't drawing a connection between his rship with augustus and hotae with donghee#okay. it's 1am and my head hurts now i read far too much#the time of fever#*#kara can talk#WAIT i said gus dug agrippa up that was wrong he just had his remains put in his mausoleum instead of the tomb agrippa built for himself#can't go around spreading misinformation 🫶
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NO LITERALLY SOOO REAL. sparrow as a trans allegory is literally canon to ME!!! her fighting the allegations [vine boom shes laying on the ground family guy style] your art is so everything to me its sooo<3
WAHHH thank you :,,,,) yeah like fully it is so just. integral to how i read her character at this point? like, i don’t think it’s text and don’t want it to be text but it is like. So clear to me as subtext/allegory.
would like 2 draw more sparrow actively experiencing trans joy, though :,) but do know that in my head i am always rotating a complex series of intricate thoughts about sparrow and her gender identity.
#asks#in the dorian cinematic universe sparrow realized Oh. around the time of s1? maybe even during?#but kinda didnt wanna touch it and really Doesnt until they are all in their 20s. there was fucking around prior like she was a furry imo.#and she has always had like a Weird and Quirky style and has always been pretty openly gnc but had firm internal boundaries abt it#but yeah i imagine their 20s were a Bit more calm and even if having hero was always a plan i think settling down would have still felt far#enough a way for sparrow to give herself the space to exhale a Little. i think she was more actively femme for a while and potentially even#tried out different pronouns and labels before handwaving that away as if it was nbd and settling back into GNC Man(tm)#and continuing to be Sillay with her gender but never too silly. and the internal boundaries were unique to her but they were + are strict.#and i feel like all the kiddads Know(tm) and Especially lark Knows(tm) but what is there to say. like. what can you say.#WAIT I HAVE TO MAKE A#SEPARATE POST SO I CAN SPOILER MARK IT I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING
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This month's bonus book is super long and it seems the reason for that is because the author spends like a paragraph doing world-building or unnecessarily over-explaining reactions between each line of dialogue -_-
#i'm only 3% through so far so it may improve once we've done enough of the world-building#but if not then it's only a matter of time before i dnf it because it's already grating on me#it's like. i don't care about this side character's relationship with her parents please just get on with the story#also the author's ripped off norse mythology but not in like. a good or clever way.#she's literally just changed the name of things very slightly or used the names of things for entirely different concepts#and the main character is apparently from a 'small village called nidaros'#nidaros is the old name for trondheim y'all. she's from fucking trondheim. which isn't a small village and wasn't when it was nidaros eithe#but i'm pretty sure the city itself is supposed to be entirely fictional#it's certainly not set in medieval norway bc they have cell phones and stuff#anyway we'll see how long it keeps up and how much it tries my patience#but if it doesn't improve soon it's going in the bin (metaphorically speaking given it's an ebook)#bc it's a hefty-ass book and i'm not investing near on 20 hours into something i don't enjoy
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#crazy how when you put the effort in your earn more money 😭😭#i had my best pay month since god knows when#and it was a nice feeling?#idk i struggle to motivate myself to work the extra hours#and so i’m only working like. less than 20 hours a week most of the time#and so my pay is shite :/#but i actually tried this month to ask for the couple extra hours a week#and it payed off#i need to keep it up.#but so far ive not done any extra#but idk my will to go home from the busy supermarket nearly always wins out in the end 😔#need to just motivate myself better i suppose#find smth that outweighs my godly need to go home#personal
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why are there so many white haired weird guys in jjk
#white/silver/very very light blond. you get what i mean.#im like. 20 episodes in and theres like. 4? i think. something like that.#my review of the show overall so far is still just like. its fine. its not bad and its good to put on while i do something else#which is about what i thought of it last time i tried to watch it#tbh only reason i went back to it is my wife has been binge watching it recently so im catching up with her#ghost.txt
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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it's actually very mean that i can't have emojis of my ocs just on my computer. i just think it would be much more convenient for when i have to say the Guys are in my brain but i also have no words..
#just me hi#i'm thinkin#and i mean like standard emoji. mostly bc artstreet dms don't let you put up actual images so i have to resort to detailing actual thoughts#Hfbshfv#//anywho so whenever i'm outside by myself i always get the Strongest urge to just start walking and not stop forever hfvhs#i will just Go#no objective no location. but i will be Moving#i Would do that but in order to get a satisfying amount of distance between me and People i have to walk down the road and mm i am nervous#abt doin that fvhsbh#like country roads... i may not come home.... south virginiaaaa hfbvsfhbsv#plus everyone drives crazy out here. when we moved out here we almost got sideswiped by a funkin fedex truck over a little hill#and of Course it was a fedex truck man. we've Never had a near-accident with Any usps trucks hfbvshvs#oh and also the local mailman drives like a maniac too <3 almost had a head-on collision once which was. neat lmao#like maybe 20 feet from slamming into each other which Is Not Much when you're in a car bfh#/Also people just let their dogs run out wild n crazy and :( i don't think they're properly trained to be letting them do that Aha#rode my bike out once with my brother + two of the neighbor's dogs tried ta jump us it sucked#now we don't go past their driveway so we don't ride out very far#//also hey our driveway is Ridiculous ??? ik we've been living here for like 2 years i'm still not over it lmaoohvf#it's like a 40-45 degree angle this is just silly#and listen i'm barely figuring out how my legs even work again. do you think i'm having a good time up that hill because i'm nOT#though you know what it's fine ! not many people come up our drive bc geez why Would you lmao#except for that one lady that asked for directions and then miiight have gotten lost again immediately after leaving HH#//okay. yea anyway the p1nk space is really in my brain rn hbfhvs#really i don't think i've ever been so interested in a project before this is so cool lol :D#marveling at the fact that anything was able to keep my interest for longer than 5 months Hbsh#//anywhoodle do i'm gonna skedaddle#prolly gonna rerun a couple things in a seccy but ye :33
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just had the worst hair cut experience :(
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#was rly dysphoric abt my hair so i booked an appointment online where you can basically get your hair cut immediately#booked a men's haircut. tried to be as masculine as possible when i went there. i did Not pass as a guy. they thought i was a woman#the whole time. when i wanted to pay the hairdresser was like 'you booked an appointment for a men's cut but you're a woman right?'#she asked that bc for woman the haircuts are more expensive and for men they're cheaper. like.#for a women's haircut you have to pay 20 € more lol. anyway i felt... not much tbh. i looked her in the eye and shook my head#to indicate no im not a woman and she rang me up for a men's cut#i don't feel all that much rn either it's just. looks like i don't pass. there's not much i can do.#i cant dress any more masculine my hair is short i use mens shampoo and deodorant#its probably my high voice. also im small. it might just be my ~vibe~ im a shy kinda person idk#guess i just have to wait for T to work its magic. so far nothing has rly happened#i actually had a cold and not a voice drop but i think ever since i /can/ speak a tiny bit deeper if i try#idk if my levels are good. my next appointment is in april so i just gotta be patient and wait#what's actually most bothersome abt today is that i couldn't play it cool. if this had happened to a cis guy and he would've been asked if#he's a woman he would've laughed it off or been offended and it would've been ridiculous to him. for me it was the worst come true and it#made me extremely insecure and i feel if i had just the confidence that a cis guy has it wouldn't have made me that uncomfortable and i#could've just brushed it off#anyway i gotta focus on my exams now anyway so ill just try to brush this experience off#the hairdresser wasnt even transphobic when i shook my head no im not a woman her eyes were sort of soft but calculating like she accepted#me i think but just the fact that it happened that i do Not pass that i Do have to out myself and can't just be myself w/o being questioned#hurts#also to my mutuals ive read your comments and messages i just havent had the energy to answer yet. i love you guys <3
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I just tried rollerskating outside again for the first time since last year and oooof it's so bad, I'm so bad at it, the pain is so bad, everything about it is very very bad
#somehow it was worse than I remembered!!#it's not even that I'm too scared now. that's better thanks to the meds.#it's mostly that my body fucking sucks. I guess it should be obvious that if walking for 10 minutes hurts a lot. rollerskating would hurt#even more.#but somehow it still surprises me every time! I'm in so. much. pain.#and no it's not just regular sore muscles. I know what that feels like. no it's so much worse. sore muscles never felt like this.#I know because my body was fine-ish until I was like 20 so I know what that felt like.#anyway I'm in pain and I'm lying on the couch now and won't get up for a long time 🙃#and last year it didn't get better either. it hurt the same or even more every single time#I've tried all the advice I could find. I did exercises to get my muscles used to those specific motions. it didn't help#soooo I'm thinking I just.. shouldn't try this year. it feels so bad because I really want to get better at it but I don't think the pain#is worth it...#I'm willing to be in pain after I paint or write or whatever... that brings me so much joy that I can live with the pain...#but so far rollerskating doesn't do that. without the pain it could. but it's pretty much instant. sooo I don't think I should try again#for a while at least...#😭😭#personal
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my ribcage has once again predicted the weather and i'm ANGY about it.
like on the one hand i get to talk about how i got injured which if i don't mention what age i was makes me sound like a cool cowboy who's retired from Wranglin due to too many Owchies over the years, on the other hand i gotta contort myself to limit how much breathing hurts me on that side.
#this post brought to you by#that time i fell off a horse#managed to land UNDERNEATH it and only got away with a kick to the ribs as he tried to jump over me because he was a good horse#he just didn't have great depth perception (due to horse) and also i fell while he was moving so there wasn't a lot of time to avoid#the hoof to the ribs about it on either side#and all it does is remind me that there was not a single adult in my life at that point in time who cared i was injured#because the one person who would have cared had left that situation (good for her!)#and everyone assumed i was exaggerating how much things hurt#i fell off like 3 more times that week by the way i didn't not get back on the horse#i in fact did exactly that (not the same day or even the day after but still)#and i was terrified by the end so much that i stopped riding entirely#because i knew if i got injured no one would take care of me#and that's fucked up#that's super fucked up#i was *ten years old*#not a grizzled 20-something cowpoke on the range far from medical help#i was 10 and at a horse barn that was within a 10 minute drive to the university and a 15 minute one to the nearest hospital#maybe less#and i saw exactly zero doctors#and now when it's too cold and/or snowing i just have to Be In Pain about it#because no one fucking cared about me when i was a child#hhhhh#i'm... i'm working on it - i'm probably always going to hold resentment and anger about it every time it snows#but like... i'm workin on it anyway#fuckin' hell man...#i know i bring this up every time i know i say the same shit every time but like#fuck#fuck man. maybe sure i'd still be in pain about it - injuries do that i'm aware#but like if a doctor had seen me maybe it wouldn't be as bad or i'd have better range of motion during cold days#so i could fucking Breathe
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