#I too listen to my sns playlists and think about what could have been :')

[sueske]

I really wish 699 was the ending…..tbh I can’t help but to wonder if the editors reaaally just pressured Kishimoto to do 700+ Boruto for more money to SJ, or that he wanted to write the sad reality of queer people who are afraid and just decided to live up to the standards of the homophobic society *cough Brokeback Mountain reference. And I hate the idea of SNS cheating on their wives, so I hope the case is just that they decided to hold back their feelings even tho they still are in love with eachother. Been watching the 20th anniversary video and the scene where Naruto can’t tell Minato that he found a girl he loves in their farewell, and it just makes me really sad, Sns and the series will always be special to me but these gays deserved better😭 I’m listening to Yours for an hour to cope.

wonder if the editors reaaally just pressured Kishimoto to do 700+ Boruto for more money to SJ,

Kishimoto was definitely pressured to keep the series going. It keeps the previous people that had worked on Naruto (manga/anime/merch/etc) in employment and works as a vessel for cashflow into SJ, so he probably felt pressure and responsibility to keep the franchise going.

or that he wanted to write the sad reality of queer people

He said he envisioned the end of Naruto as sns' reconciliation, so in that respect there wouldn't be a need to confirm endgame pairings, so I don't think that was his intention with Boruto. But because Boruto had to happen, he still decided to write sns not as happily married, but the exact opposite, littered with references to one of the most popular gay films of all time.

I hate the idea of SNS cheating on their wives, so I hope the case is just that they decided to hold back their feelings even tho they still are in love with eachother.

Well... it depends on what you consider cheating. Physically? Emotionally? Both? sasuke is never home. naruto avoids going back home and sleeps on the couch. sns meet up often, keep in contact, even meet up at restaurants. it's difficult to say if they every voiced out their true feelings, if they did settle things between them so to speak. honestly it’s not clear to me if they voiced their romantic feelings out loud, or if it’s just an understanding at this point, and they just don’t talk about it. 

I've been meaning to talk about this for a while but this ask is a (semi) good segue into it but I do think that there are certain things that sns don’t speak about to each other, that being their families. sometimes it’s difficult for me to understand/rationalise sns’ thoughts and actions in boruto because they’re just not the same characters I know, but I do think they avoid the topic of their families when they’re with each other. 

For example, in gaiden, Naruto asks chou chou why she doesn’t just ask sarada about her dad.

This was really strange to me for a few reasons. Naruto knows Sasuke is out of the village. Naruto himself grew up without parents. Yes sarada has cbg, but to think naruto never wondered how a lack of a parent would affect sarada made me pause for a second, considering who sarada is. This implies that Naruto never thought about how his best friend’s child might be affected by sasuke’s absence. it also implies that sasuke never voiced out a concern about being absent from his daughter’s life, otherwise naruto wouldn’t have said, ‘why not ask sarada’ and the afterthought, ‘that’s right he’s been traveling this whole time’ after that. He would’ve just answered chou chou’s question. This interaction serves to show that naruto doesn’t know the affect this has on sarada (which is strange), and that sasuke probably never even voiced the concern out (again, strange considering his childhood and how important familial bonds are to him). Sasuke also didn’t know what sarada looked like, which means he never even asked for a picture from cbg (again referencing the lack of the uchiha family picture), or even from Naruto for that matter since they frequently keep in contact/meet up. does sasuke not care enough to know his child’s face? naruto certainly didn’t bring it up to him either that’s for sure. cbg didn’t make any effort either to relay that info to sasuke through naruto either. do you see where I'm going with this? just a couple panels of interaction and already you can speculate so much because it just doesn’t make sense knowing what we know about the characters from naruto.

Example 2 - karin potentially being Sarada’s biological mom.

Naruto didn’t say ‘there’s no way that’s true! do the test again, sasuke would never do that!’ Naruto is basically confirming that as sasuke’s closest friend, he also thinks it’s possible that sasuke did ‘cheat’ on cbg. If sasuke talked to naruto about his relationship with cbg, about their travels and how sarada came to be, why would naruto actually be surprised and think that it was in fact possible that karin was actually Sarada’s mother just because of a test? Again, do you see where I'm going with this? so much can be read between the lines from just a few interactions.

Then he tells sasuke they need to discuss something later. Have they never discussed their relationships before? Have they never had those discussions about their relationships whereby all doubt would be eleminated?

(Also Orochimaru smiling while saying that is so funny. but also because of the implications of those exact words coming from Orochimaru.)

And then we have Boruto the series itself. Again, we’re seeing this for the first time but basically Naruto goes on to say how different Boruto is from him. After 12 years. The ‘issues’ naruto had with boruto started a while ago, but it seems he’s vocalising it for the first time based on how they’re speaking. And it only came up because sasuke found naruto’s jacket which prompted the discussion in the first place. 

(Also side note: we have yet to see a significant ss/nh moment that is not directly related to their kids, and even then they’re yikes. ‘We’re connected cuz you exist sarada.’ In the end, Sasuke lectures boruto about naruto, not hinata.)

ANYWAYS, with all that being said - why did Kishimoto write it like this? Is it because when sns are together they don't want to talk about their families? And why is that? 

[hollowpurpl]

im losing my mind.

@saintobio since you just noticed my little post about my smol theory, i am taking this opportunity.

@saintobio you are extremely good at making playlists. i remember listening to the sincerely not playlist, and gurl i could picture everything that happened on sn whenever i listen to that playlist so i have TONS of theories about sy based on the playlist

my mind is overflowing right now. on my piles of theories i chose to talk about the song "see you later"

see you later

so the lyrics goes like "you just broke my heart even though you promised you'd never do that from the start, but i guess we could only make it so far"

i think it indicates y/n breaking toji's heart, toji breaking y/n's heart or utahime (well i guess)

then it goes like "cause time wasn't in our favour, this isn't goodbye, this is simply a see you later"

the playlist name is 'recollecting memories with gojo satoru' so i wouldnt be surprised if this meant them breaking up

then it goes "let me know when its time to come back, maybe when your life is on track and you don't have to hesitate, hopefully it isnt too late"

i think this might indicate toji giving y/n space because he thinks that y/n is getting a tad bit confused because after all, it has only been 3 years since gojo happened.

"luckily for you, im patient, im okay with your making me wait, and as long as your near, i'll be here, even if it takes ten years"

this might indicate toji or satoru waiting for y/n, but i highly doubt this is about satoru because of the amnesia (but its possible). but maybe he thinks about this before the amnesia incident

THEN IT GOES "cant fall in love, when i found the one, how am i supposed to move on, when you're never really too far gone"

SATORU CANT MOVE ON. THATS WHAT IT MEANS

"the memories won't go away, i feel pain everytime i hear your name, but i always think of you the same"

satoru being broken. broken satoru.

then the song just repeats its lyrics over and over again. ending with "even if it takes ten years, even if it takes ten years"

it might hint that satoru is willing to wait for y/n, or it might be toji willing to give y/n space and as much time to clear her head, hoping that when he comes back to y/n, it's not too late (THIS MIGHT ALSO BE THE CASE FOR SATORU THO)

this scheme of confusion revolves with most of the songs in the playlist such as 'lover, please stay', 'never the 1' or 'traitor'.

basically the confusion just surrounds around toji, satoru, y/n and utahime.

i just wanted to share my thoughts (or rather confusion) on the matter. saint if you're reading this im praying to you. i trust that this story will go well because u wrote it lmao ilysm

(i wrote this on a laptop so i hope i dont sound monotonous)

[uwumessenger]

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey ��✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

[belleta]

The Forest - Part One

Consists: Supernatural, SKZ as different SN creatures, adventure, romance, drama, action, ......still trying to figure out all the details....lol XD

"Come on Y/N!", I was racing around the house. Trying to make sure I had everything for this trip. "Omg Y/N, let's GO~!" I swear to the universe she's going to thank me later. " I'm coming child!" I screamed back. Alrighty I just need my retainer. I bounded up the stairs and glided down the hallway with my cotton socks. Bursting into my room, I quickly scanned it for the sparkly emerald case. I caught sight of it out of the corner of my eye, "Boom!" I ran forward and snatched it off my windowsill. While leaping for my door, I paused and turned back to what I call my sanctuary. Call me paranoid but I'm kinda afraid of camping in the middle of the woods. Ever since I watched "The Blair Witch Project", I've been creeped.

It doesn't help that Jazzy forced us to watch the film, previous to this morning. I was drifting in the fairy floss clouds of my mind when a loud honk poured water on them. I sucked in a breath, blowing raspberries. Padding back over to my bedside, I grabbed my Ice Bear plushie. Giving it a quick squeeze and finally deciding that he's coming with me. Galloping back through the house, I made it out, locked the door and hopped in the back seat like a spring rabbit. "What took you so long?" I gazed up through my fringe at my girl bestie Jazmine. She had long beautiful honey blonde hair, and a mousy nose. Her blue eyes were alike with pebbles under a lake, with cheeks connected by a dash of light freckles. "I swear I just aged waiting for you" and Danny, our guy bestie. I've been best friends with Danny, since 3rd grade. Jazzy moved over during the 5th grade. All three of us have been with each other through thick and thin. Daniel was Hawaiian Japanese descent, had perfect colorful nails and absolutely gorgeous eye makeup. We were all dressed in casual, comfy clothes for the trip. Jazmine, or Jazzy as people call her, as the oldest. She was driving Danny's dad's truck. It was spacious and definitely was fit for the environment. Danny, second eldest was in shotgun and I, being the "baby", was in the back. "I was just making sure I have everything." The two rolled their eyes. Danny looked back at me "Girl, you need to chill. We've got everything and more" the boy stated. "I know, I know.....I'm just paranoid, you know.....being in the woods for a week" I looked down at my feet and played with my fingers to cover my embarressedness. "Awww, is the baby scared", Jazzy giggled, imitating a child. I swatted at her, "Let's just...finally go" I grumbled, reaching inside my bag to pull out my headphones. "Fine" they answered teasingly. While Jazzy was pulling out, I fastened myself and slid my headphones on. Bluetoothing them and unlocking my phone, I scrolled through my YouTube Music playlist finding the one named 'Bell Mix'. After that, I went back to the truffula trees and fairy floss. Just listening to my music and thinking about things. There were a couple times, where I thought I might get sick, but I had remembered my motion sickness bracelets. In your face! It's better to set out a little later, rather than having our vehicle reeking of my insides. 2 or 3 hours went by, or something. I'm not really sure, my brain doesn't really have a sense of time when I'm inside of it. We stopped to use the bathroom, get food and fuel at a gas station, maybe 2 hours away from the forest. "Can I, can I, can I, can I PLEASE?!?" I had been begging Jazzy to let me buy a bag of Haribo for 10 minutes now, and she was starting to break. I'm very persuasive as you find out, and I happen to be a very prominent weakness to many throughout my life. She finally gave in and I bounced away to the candy isle with glee and happily picked out a bag, promising to share. Jazzy just rolled her eyes and paid for our things. We trotted back to the car and continued our journey. It was nearing the end of 2pm when we finally arrived at the edge of the forest. It's lushes were absolutely perfectly splendid. The road continued for a hot minute, until it gave away to dirt and rocks. We didn't want to stray too far from the dirt road, so we slowly kept moving in until I suddenly exclaimed at the sight of a pretty little clearing. It had a few little bushes marking the edges, thick but soft looking grass, and a little dirt patch at one side that should be perfect for a firepit. We pulled over to take a look around, flattening a few bushes in the process. As soon as the truck came to a stop I shoved the door open and sprung down onto the flourishing forest floor. The first thing I did was take a deep breath to soak in the sweet scent of the untouched earth. I reached up, stretching and cracking a few of my bones in the process. Then I raced through the trees and undergrowth, toward the beautiful glade. It felt so nice to get away from civilization, I had always loved

getting away like this. Being able to recharge away from annoying people and sounds, my fears of the night were long forgotten. I was two steps away from the grass when I suddenly tripped over something. Tumbling forward and scratching my cheek. I landed on my face, but on the bright side it was luckily with no rocks around. The dirt however spared me at nothing, crawling into my fresh scrapes, was a sharp and quick stinging as I grabbed my face. "Seriously Y/N, we haven't even completely left the car yet and you've already managed to hurt yourself" Jazzy declared. Danny chimed in, "Did you hurt yourself at all?". Quickly inspecting myself, I responded "Yes, a tiny bit on my cheek, hands and knees", I could hear them muttering to themselves about how reckless I was sometimes. They started toward me and as I waited for them to catch up, I decided to look around and figure out where to put things for these next few days. While ogling the decently wide stretch that was conveniently shielded by a mighty sugar maple. I thought I saw something in the undergrowth a few meters away from me. I grabbed my glasses and narrowed my eyes, but right when I thought I saw whatever it was, two flashes shot in the opposite direction between the ferns and disappeared. They were kinda hidden but I could sorta make out one of the shapes was darker and slightly bigger. The other was a little bit easier but still was difficult, it was kinda brown, or maybe reddish? At that moment I felt two hands on my shoulders, "Let me see", it was Jazzy. She inspected my injury. "It'll be fine, just wash it off", "Okie-Dokie-Artichokie", she laughed and ruffled my hair. I gazed back at where I saw the two shapes but not even the bushes were still moving. "Hey!" I cocked my head back to the voice "Can you help me?" Danny was struggling to unpack from the back. "Sure thing Danny-O" I quickly stood up, maybe a little too quick. My vision went funny and I almost stumbled. "Oh my god Y/N! Be careful!" Jazzy scolded, "My bad!" I was a little all over the place at the moment. Finally we were on this trip! I mean, I waited 6 months for this and it's finally here! I'm not all childish, I'm actually very 4D. I'm just really excited okay? I more carefully walked back to the truck, where Danny was struggling to keep ahold of what appeared to be the tent. Over the course of the next hour and a half we set up everything. Goofing around and laughing. Danny had been pulling too hard on our sleeping bags, to wedge them out of the trunk. And had accidentally fallen onto the slightly wet dirt, causing a very prominent brown streak across his gray sweatpants and sky blue tie dye hoodie. I was currently on my way to find the stream that is supposably close by, with a screenshot of google maps and a compass. Service wasn't exactly a 5 star out here, but I didn't mind too much. I brought a portable WiFi router with me, so if Jason Vorhees just decided to pull one, we could call for help. Every so often I would hang a wooden heart ornament on one of the tree's branches, so if this was the correct way then we would never get lost. Also so that I didn't get lost right now. I had been making these last night, for these exact reasons. I swear only dumb people don't mark their surroundings, this is one of the main reasons why people disappear and are never found or get lost. There are no traces of where they've been, like these fruit loops really-...... After about another 20 meters I started hearing the sounds of water. It became louder and louder really quickly. Is there a waterfall here? I pondered, while quickening my pace with curiosity. 35 seconds later I came across a thinning in the trees and beyond a clear water stream. I finally broke out of the shelter provided from the thick leaves, the sun kissed my skin with it's warm touch. I looked around and sure enough, there was a small waterfall that looked straight out of a fairytale. It had multiple uneven levels, with smoothed boulders everywhere. And to top it all off, it had little water plants scattered around it. Absolutely

beautiful.... I scanned around and spotted a few giant boulders poking into the stream. I carefully picked my way over to them, clutching onto Danny's muddy clothes. Hopping onto the sunlight warmed stones, I positioned myself perfectly so that I could reach the water but wouldn't fall in. I reached into my pocket for my zip lock of natural soap, of course I didn't want to hurt this literally untouched land. I leaned down to dunk the fabric into the stream's crystal-like water and kneaded the brown smudge. It was decently cold, just perfect for a stream. I turned back to the small bag with a green bar wrapped with brown paper and a little herb decoration. I unzipped it and reached for a tiny hand towel I brought with me so that I would have a better grip on the soap, even if I got wet. After dunking the clothes in I took the bar of soap and swiped it all over. I dipped it into the water once to help the bubble come, then I started aggressively rubbing it. Once the outfit was foaming with suds, I slapped it into the brook. Holding onto the sleeve I rub it harshly all over to get the stains out. It was relatively still easy because the events of cause were only moments before. I was starting to disappear into my thoughts, getting deeper and deeper and deeper....... And just then a crash and from the trees, followed by snarls and barks. I was so lost in my thought that this jolted me into the canal. The water suddenly became ice cold, my scream had been washed away. A surge of water filled my lungs from the way my mouth was open to yelp. I could still hear the sounds of fighting every so often, when I would surface. My head was hurting, my skin was stinging and my lungs were screaming. Someone.....please help..... It was hurting so much, I was trying not to panic. So I could find the surface and get back to shore. I would break through it's crisp arctic clutches every so often and would cry out for help but then get cut off by the now frosty darkness. I was giving up to the stream and submitting to the coldness. Letting it swallow me whole. I was numb, I couldn't feel my body being thrown around anymore, Is this how my story ends? No! I don't want to! I still have things to do! I need to graduate, and find my passion! I need to find a man who will love me as much as I do! I need to birth young and care for them! I want to grow old with my partner happily! I can't die yet! I just can't! But it was just so cold. I had stopped moving violently, so I guess I had been poured into a lake or something. I didn't care anymore. My blood felt frozen, I couldn't even bend a finger. That's when I felt a force near me, it parted the waters. Moving me in a different direction with its power. Then not long after I felt something grab hold of me in an awkward way. I was starting to be pulled into another direction, as the water streamed around, parting to let me and whatever that was saving me through. Then I broke through the surface and that was the last thing I felt before slipping into a comfy unconsciousness.

[bbugyu]

hi can i request a wonwoo friends to lovers!!

abso-fuckin-tutely! since you were a lil vague, i asked my friendly neighborhood wonwoorideul for a prompt and she shouted out the song nothing by bruno major (aka one of the sweetest songs on wonwoo's spotify playlist)!

nothing + jeon wonwoo

moving in with your best friend was the best idea you ever had, even if he claimed it was his.

wc.3707 | fluff, angst, roommates/friends to lovers au, gn reader, like one swear and it barely counts bc it was hoshi, slowburn pining, wonwoo sees you and his mind is full of poetry, happy ending! (jp ver.)

thank you so much for my very first request! i tried to post this quickly, so i’m sorry if it’s not as polished as my other pieces. i was so impatient to get this out hahah. i love me some domestic wonwoo

*

wonwoo wasn't just your roommate, to be perfectly frank. the lanky guy had wormed his way into your close circle when you had worked part time together at a grocery store fresh out of high school, and when you both decided you needed to be closer to the big city, it just made sense to go together. you had never lived alone before, and your mother had said she would feel better if you had someone she knew around, someone to take care of you for her, even though you insisted you would be fine. she tried to get you to move in with your auntie, and while eating her food would be a definite plus, you absolutely despised the idea of living under the same roof as your chaotic cousin. so, when wonwoo mentioned wanting to get out of your podunk village, you excitedly told him you wanted to move to seoul.

"okay," he had said, looking at you over his comic book as he lounged on your family's couch. "let's go, then."

two months later, his dad was helping the two of you move into a tiny two bedroom apartment in a neighborhood of seoul that housed mostly old married couples, but you liked that it was a little more quiet than downtown. it felt more like home, but busy enough to give you your fill of the city. you could walk down the street to a cafe every morning on your way to the station, headed to your shitty temp desk job that you had just to pay bills. wonwoo was able to transfer to the main seoul office of his existing job as a software engineer, and was even able to work from home most days. you were forever jealous that he could hop onto remote meetings wearing a tie and button up over a pair of sweats. on days that he had to go into the office, though, he would walk with you and point out shops that you had yet to visit in your few months of living in the city.

"since when are you a flowers kinda guy?" you asked, gaze following his finger to the florist shop he pointed out.

he shrugged, adjusting his backpack straps over the blazer he wore. "might be nice for the apartment."

you eyed him. despite knowing him for years, sometimes he still surprised you.

on days that he didn't ride the subway with you, you would come home to find him sitting on the couch, swinging around a digital new york city from a web on the tv. you noticed the potted plant on the kitchen counter when you dropped your keys off in their designated tray. they were red, with tight round petals. you thought they almost looked like roses, but you knew that wasn't right. peonies? begonias? you didn't know enough about flowers to recognize them, but you figured he went to the florist in your neighborhood while you were at work.

he paused his game after landing on a roof somewhere. "how was your day?"

"good," you said, pulling off your light jacket and standing by the couch. "what's with the flowers?"

wonwoo looked around you to the yellow ceramic and red blooms, both colors that suited the other few colorful items in your minimalistic (mostly from having only lived there a few short months) white kitchen. "camellias. i thought they looked nice."

you nodded, thinking that he had more to say, but decided not to press. "have you eaten?"

he stretched on the couch, hands falling to the back of his beanie clad head as he let out a strangled noise. "do i ever eat without you?"

that made you smile. "any thoughts on dinner?"

wonwoo shook his head, settling back into the couch. "what do you feel like?"

"i'm craving pizza."

wonwoo pushed his glasses up his nose and adjusted to fish his phone out of the pocket of his favorite track pants. "go take a shower, i'll order."

you grinned. "you are such a good roommate."

"correction, i'm the best roommate. oh, also," he pointed towards the fridge in the kitchen. "soonyoung came by with side dishes from your aunt."

"oh, thank god," you said, walking over to wash your hands quickly and check the haul. "i was worried we were gonna have to buy kimchi this week. he wasn't annoying, was he?"

wonwoo shook his head, chuckling at the way you talked about your cousin as he tapped through menus on his phone. "he was fine. complained that you weren't here."

"doesn't he have a job?" you opened a plastic container and popped a sweet braised potato into your mouth. your voice was muffled as you chewed. "he knows i get off at five. if he wants to see me he should come when he knows i'll be home."

the small smile on wonwoo's face never left as you rambled about soonyoung, then your fantastic chef of an aunt, and then the new guy that sat at the desk next to you that microwaved fish for lunch. seriously, who microwaves fish? in an office?

wonwoo commiserated with you, then told you to hurry and go wash up, because he had just submitted the pizza order, to which you responded "okay, okay, i'm going. i'll be back in a minute."

after a steam filled shower, you left the bathroom while toweling your damp hair, sporting a plain black v-neck with your, similar to wonwoo's, favorite track pants.

wonwoo looked up and laughed, tugging on the hem of his shirt. "we match."

you eyed one of the several black muscle tanks wonwoo sports regularly and giggled, pulling at the stripes down your pants. "we do. you want wine?"

"hell yeah. friday night, baby."

you laughed, returning to the bathroom to hang your towel before making your way to the kitchen, pulling a couple of stemless wine glasses out of your cabinet. they were the only glasses in the apartment because, as wonwoo had said, your priorities are notoriously bad. but, you reminded him, they worked just fine with water too, so you convinced him that buying real glasses could wait until you were both slightly less busy. you grabbed the bottle of red wine off the counter and looked at the seal. "wonwoo."

"yeah?" he paused his game and looked at you over the small kitchen cart that acted as an island. you held up the wine.

"new bottle."

he sighed dramatically. "what would you do without me?"

you grinned happily as you got the wine opener out of a drawer, holding it out for him. he snatched the bottle and opener from your hands and made a face, but began twisting the corkscrew into the cork nonetheless. you planted your elbow on the wood topped cart and watched him as he tugged out the cork, decidedly ignoring the fact that he was wearing a sleeveless shirt and he definitely looked like he had taken a trip to the gym today. 

"you pour, i always miss."

you laughed, pulling at the shrapnel of the seal that wonwoo always refused to cut away before removing the cork. "maybe if you didn't make the neck such a mess it wouldn't go everywhere when we pour it."

"unnecessary step," he retorted, watching you as you poured the wine into the two glasses. he took the one closest to him as you finished. "cheers."

"cheers," you repeated, clinking your glass against his and taking a gulp. you let out a noise of approval. "happy friday."

wonwoo was smiling as he took a sip. "happy friday."

"where's the pizza?"

"uh," he patted his empty pockets, then put down his wine glass to retrieve his phone from the couch. "down the street."

wonwoo had to shove his feet into a pair of slides to meet the delivery person at the entrance of your building, and when he returned, you were giggling into your glass at your sns feed. the wine hit maybe a little too hard, but you hadn't eaten in too long for you to have almost polished off a glass already.

wonwoo gestured for you to join him on the couch, so you grabbed the bottle of wine and tucked it under your arm, carrying the two glasses over to where he was shutting off his game.

you ate merrily, and then you talked. about nothing and everything all at the same time. this happened more often than you ever thought it would, but a week into living in the city, wonwoo had come home from hanging out with some old friends to you crying on the couch with a show on that was far too comical to be the source of your tears. that night, he stayed up with you until the sun was peeking up over the buildings, listening to your worries and struggles. he shared his own fears. you were a blubbering mess. he kept sniffling his nose, acting like the tears welling up in his eyes weren't there when you laughed, despite yourself. wonwoo and you had always been close, or as close as past coworkers that had the same friend circle could be, but this was different. you couldn't remember the last time you had cried like that in front of anyone, much less someone who wasn't your mother.

when you woke up on the couch past noon, your sunday to a late start, your arms were wrapped around wonwoo's torso as he slept, one hand tucked behind his head and the other on your back. his face was inches from yours. your cheeks were pink and you suddenly felt hot, trying as gently as you could to escape without waking him. he stirred, but only to readjust as you snuck away.

he said nothing about the cuddling when he woke to the sound of you closing the front door, and you smiled as you held out the iced americano you got him at the cafe down the street. he squinted at you and scratched his head, taking the drink and sipping it before even testing his voice.

"thanks."

he looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. "what? you bought coffee. thank you."

you sat next to him and swirling the straw in your own drink. "no, i mean for staying up with me. sorry i was a mess."

there was a pause, and your heart almost stopped when he put an arm over your shoulder. "you weren't. and i'll stay up with you whenever you want."

wonwoo sipped at his drink again, giving you a light squeeze when a tear fell down your cheek.

living together meant you saw a side of him you had never seen before. the little things he did throughout his day, when he wasn't even particularly conscious that you were in the same room as him. he always bit at his thumb when he was working, and he had a habit of leaving the milk carton open in the fridge. he always made you smile when he emerged from his room with his headphones loud enough for you to hear them from across the room, and he cluelessly bobbed his head to whatever he was listening to while he refilled a water bottle, waving and smiling before he returned to his room. when your mom asked you how living with wonwoo was, you told her he was great. clean, respectful, and quiet. that you had never been closer. that he made you feel safer so far from home. you didn't, however, tell her that you discovered that he liked running home from the gym at 2 pm on the weekends, laying out on the floor with his shirt over his head before he convinced himself to take a shower.

you had always thought wonwoo was cute. how could you not? he was a handsome guy, but you had accepted your place as a friend to him and happily let it progress no further. but, now that you spent your afternoons off arguing with him on whether or not showering was even worth the trouble, you couldn't help but stare at him. watching his toned chest rise and fall as you thought about how he had admitted his crippling fear of failure to you at three in the morning when your face was puffier than a padded jacket.

you never noticed, but wonwoo watched you closer than he did anything in his life. that night, when he found you crying, he felt his heart clench as you told him all your insecurities. when he had pulled you into his chest and held you tight as you questioned whether moving so far from home was a mistake, he patted your hair and told you that it was going to be fine. you had him, afterall. he had you. the two of you could make it out here. and if you still wanted to go home when the lease was up in six months, he would be there to help you move back.

he didn't stop holding you until your breathing settled, your shoulders stopped shaking. he leaned back into the couch, bringing you with him, and you didn't protest when he ran his hand up and down your back, coaxing you to sleep.

since then, every time you spoke to him, he couldn't help but stare at you intently. he watched your eyes light up while you talked about something you loved. he watched you scrunch your nose as you talked about your new desk neighbor. he watched your lips push into a pout when he said he should go get some work done. he wondered if anyone else noticed the way you sucked on your teeth while you thought up a witty comeback, or the way you carded your fingers through your still wet hair. or the way your eyes creased into a laugh, your hand coming up to block your open mouth. or the way you chewed on your red wine stained lip while he tried to form a sentence in response, when all he wanted to do was put those lips on his.

wonwoo had been stewing with these feelings far longer than he thought bearable, but stuffed it down in fear that he might lose you altogether. he didn't want to lose you altogether. he had gone on a walk halfway through his workday at home, feeling antsy for no particular reason, though if he thought about it long enough he would have realised it was because you had said something about feeling lonely lately that morning. he saw the florist he had pointed out the week before, and his feet brought him through the door.

"hi!" he looked up from the colorful display by the door to the person behind the counter and smiled politely. "did you need help finding something?"

"um," wonwoo blinked and looked around for a moment, then moved towards the counter. "i need a gift, i think."

the florist's eyebrows quirked curiously. "you think?"

he nodded, eyes flicking down to the nametag on his chest. he wondered if he was a foreigner with his three character name, but didn't mention it. "yeah. housewarming. for my, uh-" wonwoo paused, catching himself not knowing how to describe his relationship to you. roommate? wannabe lover? he bit his cheek. "my friend."

joshua nodded slowly, watching wonwoo's eyes as he worked his way through the sentence. "just friend?"

wonwoo stared at a flower arrangement to his right. "something like that."

"got it." joshua walked around the counter and gestured for wonwoo to follow him deeper into the store. "since it's a housewarming, how about a potted plant? something to brighten up the space for a long time. they'll think about you every time they see it."

wonwoo nodded, not saying anything about how funny he thought it was that he said he was getting his own roommate a housewarming gift. "that sounds nice."

"now, i'm not gonna claim to know you," the florist started, putting up his hands to exaggerate his words, they kept moving as he pushed and pulled pots, looking for one in particular. "you've said, like, maybe a full sentence to me, but those were some complex emotions when you called them a friend, so i'm gonna assume i know the situation. i think you should get camellias. specifically red ones."

wonwoo looked at the sunshine yellow pot in the soft featured man's hands. the petals of the flower were round and delicate, and he thought about how you said the color yellow made you happy. "why's that?"

"i think you should look up the meaning when you give them this," joshua said, and for some reason, wonwoo trusted him.

he came back to the apartment thinking about how he might have just gotten scammed into buying the potted flowers in his hands, only to find soonyoung about to hit the buzzer to call your unit, a far too large cooler bag sitting on the bench by the entrance of your building.

"is y/n around?" soonyoung asked, trailing behind wonwoo as they walked up the stairs, struggling slightly with the overpacked bag. "they didn't respond to my kakao."

"they're at work," he replied, flipping his keys over in his hands to find the one for your front door. "they'll be home around six."

"ah, shit," soonyoung laughed. "i always forget you guys have adult jobs. i would kill for a monday through friday."

wonwoo almost laughed, but left the smile on his face. "weekends are kind of overrated, anyways."

the shorter hoisted the bag of dishes onto the kitchen cart while wonwoo closed the door. "who're the flowers for?"

wonwoo stared at the pot in his arm as if it was the first time he had seen it. "oh, uh. just the place."

"for y/n?"

he looked at soonyoung, who had his chin in his palms, elbows planted on the counter as he smiled. he knew he was right when wonwoo didn't respond.

"i think they'll like them," he said, unzipping the top of the bag and starting to unload his mother's packaged dishes for his cousin. "they like the color yellow."

wonwoo just said "i know," before he opened the fridge and started rearranging things to fit the new food.

according to soonyoung, wonwoo was painfully obvious. when he had come by a couple weeks prior, you were arguing with him about some ridiculous childhood memory at your grandparents' home, and while soonyoung laughed, he noticed the smile on wonwoo's face when he watched you. he also noticed the way he instinctively put a hand on your back when you sighed about your newest temp gig, and soonyoung pulled on his ear as he looked at the ceiling, leaning against the kitchen cart much like he was today as he told wonwoo about how oblivious his cousin must be.

you pulled your knees to your chest as you sipped at your wine, the pizza box almost completely polished off by the two of you sitting on the floor in front of your couch. you stare at the pot of flowers.

"they're pretty," you said finally.

you too, wonwoo thought.

"camellias, right?" you turned back to him. "i like them."

i like you, wonwoo thought. "i went to that place down the street. the guy working was nice."

you nodded, sipping again. "any reason in particular?"

"i-" wonwoo paused, staring at his glass. he finished the last gulp in it and put it on the floor next to the pizza box. "you said something about being down recently," he said, folding his fingers together as he leaned back against the couch. "i wanted to get you something, i guess."

you watched his fingers as they pushed his glasses up his nose again, and your heart fluttered at the idea of wonwoo thinking about you when you weren't around. "really? that's so nice," you pouted, shoving his knee.

he laughed, pulling his knee onto the couch to face you. "the guy there - the florist, i guess? his name was joshua. he seemed to really know flowers." he knitted his brows together when he realized he was procrastinating on saying what he was nervous to. he put his arm on the back of the couch, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm before continuing. "he said i should look up what they mean when i give them to you. red ones, specifically."

you perked up, heart racing. "what they mean? they have meaning?"

"y-yeah, i guess so," wonwoo said, then cleared his throat. 

"hey google!" you looked over to where the device sat by your tv. "what to red camellias mean?"

wonwoo stared at your profile as you watched the device think before its automated voice piped up.

"camellia flowers are available in white, pink, and red, with each color having its own unique symbolism."

you looked over to him, excitedly putting your glass to your lips as the voice continued.

"pink camellias symbolize a longing for someone, and is given to people who are missed."

wonwoo swallowed hard, fingers fidgeting against his temple.

"red camellias symbolize love, passion, and a deep desire."

your eyes widened slightly as the device shut off, glass still to your lips and eyes still on wonwoo's. he stared back at you, and you wondered if he meant it. but he never claimed that he didn't feel those things for you.

before you could think, you clumsily put your glass on the floor and moved. you didn't stop moving until your lips were on wonwoo's, pushing him back into the arm of the couch as you practically crawled into his lap.

his hands found your hips and he helped you settle into him, your fingers tracing his jawline as it worked against yours. you sighed into his lips as his hand slid up under your shirt, placed gently on the small of your back. pulling you into him. when you paused for a moment, you thought about waking up to this exact same view, that day after you had cried all night. but this time, his other hand pulled your jaw back to kiss him again, and you happily complied.

[phoebe-delia]

Hello, Phoebe. I’m back :)

How are you doing? Just put whatever you feel like here! This ask is the Phoebe Show; make it yours!

Lyssa, it is always a pleasure to see you in my notifs, but especially in my ask box! Thank you for filling it with kind words, awesome prompts, and fun questions for me to play around with.

This blog is the closest I imagine I'll ever come to having the Phoebe Delia Show, and since you have given me free rein with this ask, I shall endeavor to make it count.

I've gotten some incredible asks about my interests, but I'm going to answer a question that has been asked by exactly no one and rank Taylor Swift's albums.

This will be in order of my favorites; this isn't necessarily a reflection of what I think the rank would be in terms of objective quality; instead, this is based on my own personal enjoyment of the albums.

As always, I will provide a little explanation as to my reasoning, because I am nothing if not indulgent.

I actually really surprised myself with this ranking; as I looked through the albums I evaluated each by counting the number of songs I liked off of each one, and the ranking I thought I had has now changed. (I will explain in my comments!).

So! With that said. The Phoebe Delia Show Presents: Ranking Taylor Swift Albums.

1. Speak Now--To me, there is only one skip on this entire album; it is bop after bop. (If you're wondering, I think "Innocent" is the skip). Every song is just fun! I should also point out that this is also my favorite in part because Taylor said it was inspired by theater/Broadway.

2. 1989--I'm gonna be honest and say that I'm ashamed to have sort of slept on this album for so long. Don't get me wrong--I listened to and enjoyed it a lot when it came out, but I always sort of automatically pushed it further down on my list in favor of my 3rd choice because I liked the songs on my 3rd choice more. But now that I'm older and my music taste has somewhat evolved, I think I can say that 1989 is my 2nd favorite. There are truly no skips on this album. Yes, I know I said SN has a skip, but that album holds a special place in my heart so it gets number 1. I was thinking it over today, and while Taylor has always been amazing, I think this is the album that launched her into superstardom. We, her fans, knew she could do anything, but she still shocked us all by making the transition to an entirely pop album. Remember the "Blank Space" and "Bad Blood" music videos? I still think those are two fo my favorite of her mvs, though LWYMMD is a close second.

3. Red--Oh, my beloved. This album is wonderful. I have a lot of memories associated with this one, particularly watching the WANGBT music video and the IKYWT parody with the fucking goat that makes me laugh so hard even to this day. I am SO pumped for TV in November!! And while, yes, "All Too Well" is my favorite song on the album (and my fave TS song overall), "Holy Ground" is slept on and amazing.

4. folklore--This album is probably the most meaningful to me of them all just because of when it came out. We as an entire global community were struggling, and I know I had immense privilege to have been healthy and safe during that time. Still, like everyone else, I was depressed, lonely, and felt trapped inside my home and inside my mind. I will never forget listening to this album in my room and gasping when I heard TIMT. Not long after this album came out, I also lost my family dog, and this album was essential in helping me grieve. This album saved my sanity and gave me a cathartic outlet. I will be forever grateful to Taylor for writing it.

5. Reputation--This is another one for which I have a lot of memories. I will never forget when the LWYMMD music video came out and the world lost its entire mind. Taylor said there are still easter eggs we missed and I want someone to find them please and thank you. There are a few songs on this album that I'm not obsessed with, but the storytelling is so cohesive and creative. On the surface, one might think Taylor was being petty or whiny, but if you look closer--and remember the utter hell she was going through at the time--I think there are deeper meanings than her just getting back at Kim and Kanye.

6. Fearless--Oh, this album. It has some of her most iconic songs: YBWM, "White Horse," "Love Story"," "Forever and Always," etc. I truly wish I could tie this one with Rep, but I think Rep edges this one out *just* barely with songwriting/lyrical quality. I also don't know if I'll ever fully get over the fact that she kept "Mr. Perfectly Fine" from us for so long, but I suppose I can consider the 10 min "All Too Well" on Red TV to be proper repayment. ;)

7. evermore--I could not believe my eyes when she announced this album. How can this woman write this fast and this well!! I will never forget listening to "champagne problems," "no body, no crime," and "tolerate it" in particular. I ranked this after reputation just bc I think I enjoy listening to Rep more, but some of the songwriting on this album is *chefs kiss.*

8. Lover--I know, I know, I'm sorry. I don't want to put this one so low on the list but I just kind of can't put it any higher? I really love some of the songs on this album, but SYGB is too sad for me, "London Boy" kinda annoys me I'm sorry, and I just never really got into INTHAF or "Afterglow." But, that said, every other song on the album is a bop, even ME!, although I listen to the live version over the studio recording. It's a great album though.

9. Taylor Swift (Debut album)--I feel a little bad ranking this so low but I cannot honestly tell you that this album is better than her others, and something has to be last on the list. There are also some great, classic songs on this album. So, instead of being critical, I'm instead going to say that I remember vividly seeing a snippet of "Teardrops On My Guitar" advertised on Disney Channel for Radio Disney. It makes me smile to think of how far she's come since then.

And that concludes this episode of The Phoebe Delia Show! Tune in next time where I post some other self-indulgent opinion about one of my interests and hope it reaches people who care to read it :)

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[tsukiprotranslations]

[Translation] SOARA Drama CD Vol. 4 - Track 2 - Part 2

Here’s part 2 of track 2~! It runs from minute 15:04 to the end www I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did~!

Again, thank you to @ryuukia for sharing the files~!

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please like and re-blog instead of re-posting ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~!

[15:04]

JUNYA: I have your songs in a playlist that I listen to, you know?

SORA: Eh? Is that true? That makes me so happy~!

JUNYA: It’s true! At first I only used them to gather info on how students would feel but I really do listen to it a lot.

JUNYA: Normally for my work I listen to a song one can normally dance to but, since your songs have a different feel, I usually listen to “Itsuka no Natsu Matsuri” and uh… ah! “McGuffin,” was it?

SOARA: WOAH!

NOZOMU: So you really do listen to them, Sensei~!?

JUNYA: Yeah. You have a lot of easy to listen to songs. Plus, it somehow… It makes me want to cheer you on.

JUNYA: It makes me feel like I can do my best and look forward, too!

JUNYA: They’re all such wonderful songs.

REN: Uwah~! Thank you very much!

JUNYA: Ah, but…

REN: Hm?

JUNYA: The latest song’s PV that was just released had a different feel again, huh?

JUNYA: The atmosphere (of the song) in general is good, the lyrics are powerful.

JUNYA: It’s a song where I can feel how much you’ve moved forward.

JUNYA: Ah, that’s only my opinion though…!

REN: Ah… That’s…

NOZOMU: Because it’s RE:START! A new departure! A brand-new SOARA! It’s a song about our restart~!

JUNYA: I see now. It really does feel like that.

SORA: Um…! Sensei… What did you think…?

JUNYA: Hm? About what?

SORA: About the new song. Since you’re a pro dancer who’s listened to a lot of songs… I just wondered what you thought of it…

REN: Sora-senpai…

JUNYA: Hm? Ah, I’m sorry! Did what I say sound negative?

JUNYA: I really love it!

JUNYA: It made me feel like “Oh! I love this” and I could feel the dedication that Sora had as the writer of the song.

JUNYA: Like, it made me want to dance?

SORA: Ah, i-is that so…? I’m so relieved…!

JUNYA: You’re amazing huh, Sora-kun.

JUNYA: I knew this already but, you really are a professional composer and everyone in SOARA’s an artist, huh?

SOSHI: Though, the extent of his dancing level is only until the Awa Odori dance. (1)

SORA: Sou~! The Awa Odori is a very wonderful dance, I’ll have you know!

SOSHI: That’s what you’re mad about?

SORA: I’m mad about both! You keep saying “Awa Odori” You’re persistent.

JUNYA: (laughs) Well, it’s not like you have no sense of rhythm and your stamina is not bad so if you get used to dancing, you’ll get better in no time.

JUNYA: Didn’t you do well with dancing during the previous live?

SORA: I did, right? (excitedly) I did, didn’t I~? Sensei gets it~!

JUNYA: My job is definitely to be able to teach Sora-kun who can only dance the Awa Odori dance, a new and fast-paced kind of dance, right~?

SORA: That’s right, uh-huh. yep—Huh?

JUNYA: And so~! Since you’ve gotten one step closer to it, today’s lessons are over~!

JUNYA: Thank you for the hard work, SOARA.

MORI: Thank you for taking care of us, Sensei.

SOARA: Thank you for the hard work!

JUNYA: Alright, I’ll do more work. I wanna finish the dances for the other two songs, too.

SOSHI: Sensei, you like doing choreography, huh?

JUNYA: Well, of course. I’m doing

JUNYA: I love it so much that I… dropped out of university halfway the other year.

[18:30]

  SOSHI: Hm?

SORA: Huh?

REN: Hm?

SORA: Uni…versity…?!

NOZOMU: You say…?!

JUNYA: E-eh…? Th-that’s what you’ll react to…?

SORA: I uh… No, no, I mean… Right, guys…?

REN: Y-yes… U-um… Th-this might sound a little pretentious asking this so late but…

REN: How old are you, Sensei…?

JUNYA: Eh? Wait a sec… Wait. Up until now, how old did you think I was?

SORA: Here! Is this the time where we can frankly say what we thought?

JUNYA: Go ahead, go ahead~ Please don’t hold back.

SOSHI: 32 years old.

REN: 34 years old.

MORI: 35 years old?

NOZOMU: 33, single, but has been living together with their girlfriend for 10 years~!

SORA: 31, a father of 2, married early and now your children are almost in middle school.

JUNYA: The scenario for the last guess is too complicated…

JUNYA: (laughing nervously) E-eh…?! Do I look that told?

REN: A-ah, no… It’s not… No, uh… It’s not that you look old but… You seem so professional and have such dignity that uh… (gasps and says with a squeaky voice) Right?!

NOZOMU: (with a not so convincing tone) Th-that’s right~! It’s exactly like that, yeah!

SORA: In other words… Sensei is a lot… younger (than what we guessed)…?

JUNYA: Young, you say… I’m from… the same generation as you guys…

SOARA: EEEEEHHHH?!!?

JUNYA: I’m 22 years old, you know…?

SOARA: 22 YEARS OLD??!?!?!

SOSHI: Really? That’s only a 1-year difference.

SORA: Eh? EH? EEEHHH??! With that face?!

JUNYA: “With th—“ uwah… Saying that kinda hurts.

JUNYA: I-it’s true that my friends often say I look older for my age…

NOZOMU: There’s a limit to how dignified you can be…!

NOZOMU: Even though you look like the kinda guy who would say, “I danced in America when I was younger!”?

JUNYA: I’ll take that as a compliment, okay?

JUNYA: Man, now I understand. No I wonder I couldn’t completely break the ice with you.

JUNYA: I thought that you were just simply super polite people but… I guess that’s how it is, huh?

JUNYA: Ma~n, I’m at a loss. Well, it’s true that I’ve been dancing since I was very young though. But, I’m still a very young person who just started doing choreography.

JUNYA: I’d say about as long as you guys have been performing.

SORA: Eh? Is that so?

JUNYA: Yeah, yeah. I got into the industry at about the same time as you did with yours.

JUNYA: I’ll say this again. I’ll be in your care.

MORI: Y-yes… We’re in your care, too.

JUNYA: Like I said, you’re too formal. Lessons are over so please, speak casually.

JUNYA: You can call me “Junya” too, if you want.

MORI: Even if you say that…

REN: Y-yes… Changing so suddenly is…

NOZOMU: Aw ma~n~ We’re in your care, Junya~! We don’t have that much age difference~!

REN: There’s one who just did it, though!

[21:34]

  HINATA: Pardon the intrusion~! Hey youngsters, great work today!

HINATA: Did you break a proper sweat?

REN: Ah, Wakatsuki-san. Thank you for the hard work.

SOARA: Thanks for the hard work.

HINATA: Yes, yes~ Those are faces of people who did their best today~

HINATA: Looks like the lesson went well. All’s well that ends well, I say~

SOSHI: Oh yeah. There’s this person who doesn’t look his age, too. In a different way from Junya, I mean.

JUNYA: Eh, is that so? Manager-san’s not the same age as us…?

SOSHI: What…?

JUNYA: Is he like those people who skip a grade and is a lot younger than us?

REN: It’s the opposite.

JUNYA: Opposite?

HINATA: He looks very young but Wakatsuki-san is 33 years old. He’s married and has two children.

JUNYA: …! 33 years old…?! A father of 2?! For real?!

SORA: It’s totally true.

HINATA: Hm~? What’s this, what’s this? You guys over there, are you talking about me~?

HINATA: Fumufumufumufufufu~ (2) Do you want to know the secret behind this youth~?

HINATA: (laughs) Guess I have no choice~! I shall tell you as a treat!

HINATA: You just have to follow the SNS account that I use for personal stuff~!

HINATA: With the power of my life force and my beautiful angels, I’m sure you’ll get younger just by looking at it~! (sparkles)

HINATA: That’s my secret! It’s familial love! It’s overflowing love!! (more sparkling sound effects)

JUNYA: Uwah… (laughs) His personality is like a celebrity’s…

SOARA: That’s totally it…

HINATA: Oh my~ Mr. Dance Instructor, thank you for giving lessons today, too.

HINATA: How were my children? Did they level up from the Awa Odori?

JUNYA: (laughs)

SORA: Even Wakatsuki-san’s saying that?!

==END==

Translator’s Notes:

(1) The “Awa Odori” is one of Japan’s largest dancing festivals. It’s a celebration held usually as part of the Obon Festival during August. It’s Japan’s largest dancing festival. There’s choreographed street dancing and all that but, just very simple dances that everyone can dance. [Source] Here’s a link to a video of the traditional dances just so we all have an idea of Sora’s dancing level www

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please like and re-blog instead of re-posting ^^

If you like this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

[neonwizardheehee]

50 Q’s tag :O

tagged by the loevly @owowookies. so here i go~

1.  what takes up too much of your time? SNS ofc ahahaha

 2. what makes you day better? pictures of Jin

 3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? i worked out after breakfast

 4. what fictional place would you like to go?  Rivendell no doubt

 5. are you good at giving advice? well if you want some gandalf or the dove keeper quotes as advice I’m your girl B)

 6. do you have any mental illness?  prob not, but i have mental issues and i want to see a therapist soon bc my disease fucks with my had and my wife has been saying i should see one for some years.... 

 7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?  not that i know of..?

 8. what musician inspired you the most?  gerard way -> robert smith -> leeteuk -> heechul -> j-hope 

 9. have you ever fallen in love?

 10. what’s your dream date? never thought about that? but prob a planetarium...

 11. what do others notice about you? my fluffy hair

 12. what is the annoying habit you have?  oversharing and spamming everyone with content they dont even like :PP

 13. do you still talk to you first love?

 14. how many ex’s do you have? 

 15. how many songs are on your playlist?  271

 16. what instruments can you play?  acoustic guitar q.q

 17. who do you have the most pictures of? gerard, from my hard-stand phase - so glad that is over by now 

 18. where would you like to go before you die? Japan!

 19. what is your zodiac? taurus

 20. do you relate to it?  i am faithful but not really down to earth i guess??? also i dont like rosé :P

 21. what is happiness to you? having no regrets and loads of smiling

 22. are you going through anything right now? yeah which issue do you mean? mental? body image? food relationship? self-acceptance? moving soon? new semester? no financial stabillity? career struggles? self-hatred? ahahahahaha

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?  canÄt say that bc i believe that bad decisions bring the best aftermaths :D

 25. what’s your opinion on abortion?  haven’t really thought about it to to form an opinion 

26. do you keep a bucket list?  not one for LIFE but i do have a shitton of different lists~

 27. do you have a favourite album at the moment? Three Imaginary Boys - The Cure

 28. what do you want for your birthday?  queen greatest hits vinyl :P

 29. what are most peoples first impression of you? i’m weird and cute?

 30. what age do you seem according to most people?  #forever young and smol

 31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? nightstand ~

 32. what word do you say the most?  oh MAN

 33. what’s the oldest age you would date? souls don’t have ages

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? again souls don’t have ages (The Dove Keeper folks)

 35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? something creative, like a crazy theater lady

 36. what’s your favourite music genre?  epic rock numbers

 37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? scotland but bc of teh brexit prob japan

 38. what is your current favourite song? Shadow - Taemin

 39. how long have you had this blog for? longer than i can think of

 40. what are you excited for? coming home T_T

 41. are you a better talker or listener? talker definetly (not that im a good one b ut i love talking)

 42. what is the last productive thing you did? made an important phone call i put off for a week

 43. what do you want for christmas? Queen greatest hits II vinyl :P

 44. what class do you get the best grades in? iconography FOLKS B)

 45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 6 bc ive wasted so much worktime while answering this :P 

 46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? GIRL, THAT’S TOO TOUGH I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’LL BE DOING NEXT YEAR

 47. when did you get your first heartbreak?

  48. at what age do you want to get married?  it would be nice before 40, otherwise i marry my wife officially but no stress :P

 49. what career did you want to have as a child?  politician

 50. what do you crave right now? to dance and have loads and loads of cheese fml

soo @vipelf814 if you’re down for it ;)))) this took so freaking long oh man

also #sorrynotsorry for all the what is love-twice gifs but yeah.... shit is too accurate :/

[minjungfmd]

self para & playlist / solstice fan cafe entry

summary / as per usual, minjung’s on her daily tendency to write a blog post for solstice. as she’s been writing more than usual, her post consists nothing of a playlist to get through her favorites. perhaps, it’s a form of her own therapy the way she manages to actually cement how she’s feeling through songs — maybe it’s a read between the lines for the hawk-eyed fans who can sense what she’s feeling through the songs she recommends. it’s a form of personal touches, where fans can get close considering the songs give more insight to how minjung’s been feeling as of late than most of her interviews. warnings / none wc / 447 (not including song titles)

hi solstice,

i’m doing better writing on here than of recently. i’ve been better about writing because rather than sending sporadic messages, i think sitting her and writing out how i feel and what i’ve been listening to gives more insight than the day to day pictures i can post on my sns. after all, i’m not the most up to date when it comes to my sns, and most of the time, they consist of selcas which can be a bit lost through transmission.

but nonetheless, i just wanted to update everyone and say that i’ve been happy. thank you for giving me so much love during my blueming and bbibbi promotions — i couldn’t foresee that response, so it came as a surprise and now my heart feels like it could burst. but if it bursts, i would not be here. so, instead, i’ll just say that it’s full.

of course, i’m only here to express my gratitude and tell you all about my favorites as of late. lately, i like that the sun is shining more, and my favorite thing to do is open my curtains, close my eyes and feel the sun there while i do nothing — it seems silly, doesn’t it? standing in silence, but i suggest you try it because it may open eyes to things you have never experienced. perhaps, it’s nostalgia for the summer or mourning for the winter. that much, i haven’t figured out, so i instead i lie and continue on my eyes closed journey.

maybe, that was tmi. but you know what isn’t a tmi? i was born in november.

ok, that was tmi too. and i’m on my string of ajusshi gag’s that nobody wants to listen to. so, instead i’ll offer you my typical playlist of my favorites. i’ve been posting these nonstop on my instagram, but for those of you who haven’t followed me yet — here’s a sign you should. there’s songs on here that are easy to the heart and even softer as you just plug in your earphones and listen. so, enjoy them, and soak them in because the memories you make while the songs play last forever — you’ll understand after time has come around and you’ve listened to the songs for the first time in years.

1.너도 (ft. cha cha malone) — 로꼬/ you too — loco 2. purpose — justin bieber 3. no longer in my head — madson project 4. try to be better — rnla & yaeow 5. 12:45 — etham 6. lonely together — jasmine thompson 7. hard sometimes — ruel 8. 사람 — 지코 / people — zico 9.  when this rain stops — wendy 10. malibu nights — LANY

these songs have just been good during the transition from winter to spring, and i hope it brings you much joy as it has for me. as you look forward to this new year, i hope you’ll spend it alongside me — thank you all for supporting me, and i hope to be a cooler version of myself this year.

see you all soon,

seo minjung.

[gundampilot]

Inspired by @dialup2002 to post some more old stuff. :) This is a desktop screenshot I posted on my DevART account January 2005. Kicking it with Windows XP, but I loved/preferred the classic style that I was accustom to (95-98-ME). I made the wallpaper used, but I’m having trouble finding a copy of it. I’ll prob try to remake it in non-1024x768 resolution lmao. Not sure if this is from 2005. It might have been from 2004, but I hadn’t posted it yet. I did that a lot. Some fun notes about some of the software icons pictured (lots of info):

Firefox - THE FIRST BROWSER TO DO TABS OMG. I was a huge advocate for Firefox, especially in its initial releases. They were doing things on the internet nobody had really seen up to that point, and made it popular! Since I had so many issues (as most people do) with Internet Explorer, I was shopping around for a new browser at the time of this shot. Google Chrome didn’t exist yet. (Can you imagine??)

IE - As stated above, I disliked IE. It was kept for various reasons, however. Such as testing website layouts, since the mass-majority of people used it and things looked different in browsers when you were coding.

Opera - While giving Firefox a try, I also managed to snag a very, very early copy of Opera. I’ve always been the type of person that loved to try out new stuff as early as possible, and this was a very special piece of software that I wanted to give a go. The reason that it was special? You had to send away for a CD for it. That’s right, kids. They snail-mail’ed me a CD because it was considered “commercial software.” I paid to get that browser lmfao. I was super super hyped later in 2005, because it became “freeware” and I was able to more-easily push my friends to try it out. The devs were (and still are) seriously awesome. This is why I still use Opera as my main browser today! Ya’ll should try it if you aren’t already! You can even use your most-beloved Chrome extensions on it. :)

Soulseek & WinMX - Holy crap, you guys! lmao Is anyone here old enough to remember these programs?? XD This was basically where most people went after Napster bit the dust. This was when we were all scrambling, trying to find a new P2P sharing program. This was right in-between the eMule/Donkey phase and before the Limewire/KaZaA fiascos where people’s computers were being overloaded with viruses from companies trying to stop pirating. Ahh, the wild, wild west... Days were so exciting when you spent hours downloading something that could potentially ruin your computer lmao

WS_FTP - Still one of my favorite FTP programs for Windows! Works like a charm! These days I use Transmit 5 for Mac, but this was my first program ever for file transfer protocol. It’s basically a tool for uploading files to my website’s server, because back when I first registered it, there was no web uploader for that kinda stuff. Now I stick with that because it’s easier and I’m used to it lol

Veo Digital Studio - Used to use this for my webcam back before webcams were built into laptops, and before they were common enough to have amazing freeware available for them.  (Also this is hilarious.) The quality was horrible, but I was hella excited to take pictures and share them with friends and on my blog at the time. From what I remember, there was something I used after this that was some type of South Korean selca software. Haduri? Something like that. It was really cute and even let you do little animations. :) 

Animation Shop - Okay. So... from what I remember, this might have been owned by the people that made Paint Shop Pro? I think it was Corel. I honestly don’t remember where I got this from, but this is what I used to use to make animated gifs (because Photoshop just....didn’t for some reason? I had to use PSP at some point, I remember that. I just don’t remember why lmao. It might have been my copy didn’t allow it, or my computer was just too shit to run it good enough, or just stopped working because....Windows). 

Adobe Photoshop 5.0 - I originally got this rip from a friend of mine, whose dad got a CD from his company that he worked at. It was an official/real license, which was really awesome! I think this was the first version of Photoshop I ever owned (!!), which is pretty amazing to think about about! I had that CD copy for a few years. I initially was gifted a copy of the CD around 2001-2002 or so. I know for a fact I had newer versions (7.0 was legend before CS suite came around), so I’m not sure why I was using this one at this point lmao. My guess is, like mentioned above, something happened with my computer and I didn’t want to format it and reinstall everything lol or because it was the fastest version I had installed to boot up and do a quick photo edit.

Adobe Photoshop 7.0 - I do remember this took a long time to start up. I can only imagine this was like a bad pirated copy or something, or was so bloated with new stuff in it, and that’s why I kept 5.0 for a quick boot. I know I used this majority of the time, though. Most of my backups for brushes and fonts are from backups that include 7.0 as a zip. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  My computer wasn’t the most powerful at the time, despite what I pushed it to do, so this is prob why.  But hell yeah! Photoshop represent! lol I still use it today, and its still one of the first things I install on a fresh OS install. Enjoying CC 2017 these days.

Nero Start Smart - I was so excited to make mix CDs and share them! Back in the day before you had stuff like playlists that were sharable on YouTube/Spotify, etc, you had this to share music. Or play in your car. Or CD walkman. Nero was a software you could burn your CD-Rs and make your own laser-etched album art! I begged for years to get a CD burner lmao. Back when casette tapes were still around enough that my parents were like “but why???” lmao. They were not common back in the day like they became over time, just, like, included on your computer. Back then you had to buy one and install it into your computer tower yourself! I got mine I believe.....in 2001? It was the year after the Playstation 2 was released. The first one I got was just a very standard burner. Did a very specific type of CD burning at a low (slow af) speed. It was $700 lmfao. Let that sink in for a minute because my parents didn’t let me forget about it for the next four years lmfao. I saved up birthday and Christmas money and went halves on it. Then I upgraded to the one that this one was! c: Which did the laser etching, and DVD burning! (And you better believe I was burning DVDs of stuff I was downloading online lmfao this was the golden age of the internet where everything was just available everywhere as long as you had the patience to download that shit, because it took forever to download)

Volume Control - My dad and I messed with the wires on all of these random computer speakers and stereo speakers that we had collected over the years and hotwired our own version of a 5.0 surround sound in the room, which was mounted to the ceiling corners and above the computer station. It was lit. I needed Volume Control easily accessible because sometimes the speakers needed redirecting, or I needed to turn the beats down because my mother was tired of my fifth time playing the Gundam Wing OSTs and Miyavi. (It was metal, okay???)

Windows Media Player - I did not use this to listen to media. Let me reiterate that. I did not use it to listen to media on. lol this was specifically used to rip tracks from CDs that friends lent me, because it was the easiest software I was able to use to change the KBPs for quality control and the ID3 tags so I could save it and organize it for use in Winamp and know wtf I was listening to lol. Nobody used WMP for listening to music.... xD 

Winamp - The best music player. Period. Still. Nothing beats it. Pls, pls, Nullsoft! Come back and make a native version for MacOS. :’((((  I would buy it! Doesn’t even have to have new features or look different. Classic look, pls pls! 

Media Player Classic - Do people still use it??? This player was amazing! Paired with k-lite codec pack, it played everything. It was like VLC before VLC. And it looked good. Clean. Small. Could be installed anywhere which was nice. And the codec packs just made everything look and run fantastic! 

Recycle Bin - .... Trash XD 

Magnifier - This was for my dad because he had bad eyes and couldn’t remember CTRL +/-/0 to increase the text on pages that he wanted to read.

My Documents - Where I saved all the stuff I downloaded. Not the real My Docs. Just a folder that I named as such, with a custom icon. I don’t know why I wanted it there lol. I think to just have a uniform square on my desktop haha

Journal - I renamed this. I forget the original name of the client, but it was the official client of LJ. It was basically a program that let you write up posts for Livejournal and you could format things, draft them, etc, and post without uploading to your journal/blog. I liked it because sometimes I couldn’t post right away, and it made making drafts a lot easier for me to go back and edit. It also let you edit past posts, which was really convenient instead of looking for it on the web version one post at a time.

AIM+ - I loved AOL Instant Messenger, but over time the ads became too much. I invested a lot of time in 3rd party clients. I was constantly switching between AIM+, Adium, DeadAIM, Pigeon, Trillion, etc. Depended on what I wanted to do that day. Want to clone a SN? Want to skin the colors of the chats? Need transparency? Want to customize your lists? Want to log into more than one msg system at once? They all had their strengths. This was my msg service of choice. Back in the day you were either on this, MSN, or Yahoo!. Some people rocked ICQ and there were a few others, but these were the most common from who I knew/hung out with. I miss those days. <3 

You can see WinMX running in the taskbar lmfao so I was prob downloading something at the time of snagging this quick shot. I also had DevART open (prob because I was gonna share this on there). I really wish I had more programs open at the time of this! XD It’s wild to look back at some of the software changes over the years!

Anyway, that’s one of my oldest screenshots that I can find that I’m able to share right now. :) I’m going to be posting a remake of that wallpaper that I did later today for those of you that want that, too.

If you read this far, thank you!! Hope you had fun reading about old stuff! 

[idekwidcfo]

chapter one part two

And I didn’t do it! Months passed and I had the same issues-- I wanted to ask her out! I planned on asking her out! But I didn’t. Every time I tried-- still!-- I chickened out. 

It got to be a few days before prom and suddenly Mar was approaching me. We were in the halls after school; I had been putting textbooks in my locker. “Hey,” she said, casually. 

“Hi,” I said, hoping I sounded casual but paranoid that I sounded terrified, since I was. 

“So, Billie and I had a really interesting conversation earlier,” she told me, in the same casual tone.  

“Oh?” I asked, all I could get out since my thoughts had frozen to a complete halt. 

“Yeah, something about how you were supposed to ask me out but never worked up the nerve so now she had to tell me about it since she had told you that she was going to tell me if you didn’t do it? And uh, yeah, you didn’t ask me out, so her story checks out.” 

I felt my face get hot and looked at the cuticles on my thumb instead of her. “Um,” I said, because it seemed like I had to say something. Mar didn’t say anything but I could feel her looking at me and supposed that meant I had to say something else. “Yeah, that’s a thing that happened, I guess.” 

She sighed. “You know, being too scared to work up the nerve to ask me out isn’t a very attractive trait.” 

“Yeah, I figure,” I said, deciding my shoes were more interesting than my nails. 

“You’re lucky you have a lot of traits that are attractive.” 

I looked up to check whether she was teasing me or not. It didn’t look like she was. “You have so many traits that are attractive that it’s intimidating.” 

She smiled at me. I was dazzled by it. I think my heart might have stopped for a moment. “You’re really cute, you know. What a bummer you never got the stones to ask me out.” 

“Oh. So you aren’t asking me to prom? You’re just calling me out for being a pathetic scared jackass?” 

“Why should I ask you out if you’re the one that has a crush on me?” she said. 

“Oh. Okay. That’s fair,” I replied, hoping my face wasn’t giving away the fact that I was devastated. 

Mar sighed again. “Look, dude, I’ll make you a deal. Ask me out, and I’ll say yes. Not to prom, it’s way too late for that and I’m taking a couple of my friends as friend-dates. I’m not going to dick out on them a few days before prom. But ask me on some other date. The only thing is that you have to actually do it, okay? And not right now. My mom is going to get pissed at me if I don’t go meet her at the car immediately. My AIM screenname is ‘ohshititsmar’, all one word. Hit me up,” she said, then literally skipped away. I loved it. Conspicuous weirdness was definitely one of the reasons I found her so attractive. 

I wasted no time when I got home-- I went straight to my computer and added her on AIM, though I was disappointed to see she was not online. Had she really been suggesting that I ask her out over internet chat? I hoped so. That would be so much easier than asking her out in person. And it would still be asking her out, so it fit the ‘deal’ she made me. 

I tried to focus on some homework, with a bit of success. It took me an hour to add one paragraph to a research essay I was writing for World History, but that was better than not adding anything. Eventually, Mar did log on, but I didn’t message her right away. I didn’t want it to be obvious that I had been waiting for her to sign on. But I didn’t want to give myself the opportunity to not message her at all, so I was sure to wait only five minutes. 

The problem was that I struggled for another five minutes or so about what to actually say. I eventually decided to send her something short and simple: “hey”. I felt kinda dumb for overthinking it so much, but I had really wanted to say something clever and interesting. When I hadn’t been able to think of anything clever and interesting, I figured saying “hey” was better than nothing. 

She responded, and we got a pretty decent chat going. 

OHSHITITSMAR: hey! Wasn’t sure you’d message me lol 

Cows_IV: lol why you think I’m that much of a pussy? >_> 

OHSHITITSMAR: well, sort of? the whole reason we’re talking is because Billie telling me you were too much of a pussy to ask me out lol 

Cows_IV: okay, that’s fair. but it’s a lot easier to message someone online to talk in person, you know? 

OHSHITITSMAR: yeah, also fair. I’m totally interested in getting to know you a little better you know. 

Cows_IV: same to you, obviously! I think you’re super attractive and awesome but I guess I haven’t really talked to you one-on-one. 

So we started talking. We had a lot of favourite musicians in common, but still had plenty of recommendations for each other. We sent each other mp3 files of our favourite stuff, and I added the songs she sent me to the playlist I was listening to. Some of her recommendations were local bands, which I was stoked about. It turned out she liked going out to see live music, something I had always wanted to do but never actually ended up doing. 

Hours passed, and before we knew it, it was 2am. 

Cows_IV: Holy shit, it’s past 2am >_> 

OHSHITITSMAR: hahaha, so it is. It’s been really fun talking to you ^_^ 

Cows_IV: glad to hear! I was so nervous lol. you’re so cool, and I’m just the weird little trans boy whose never got the courage to ask anyone out :( 

OHSHITITSMAR: and why is that? if u don’t mind my asking 

Cows_IV: because I am a trans boy, mostly, I think. I don’t think anyone wants to date me because of it. Most people like to date dudes with dicks and chicks with vaginas, to be blunt. 

OHSHITITSMAR: so you’ve just been denying yourself even trying to date anyone? 

Cows_IV: well, not no one. I dated some boys in 9th and 10th grade. But they kept insisting they were straight and i was “really a girl” and I couldn’t take it any more. 

Cows_IV: I said “they” like it happened a bunch lol just two guys 

Cows_IV: I know I like girls too but before transition guys would actually ask me out and girls don’t usually do the asking out so never dated one before

Cows_IV: aaaand now I’m just going on and on and on about myself lol 

Cows_IV: how about you you have a dating history? 

OHSHITITSMAR: uhh no worries, that’s interesting lol 

OHSHITITSMAR: I would say tell me more but I guess we’ll get there someday, right? 

Cows_IV: [grinning emoji] 

OHSHITITSMAR: I dated one dude in 9th&10th grade then he met someone he liked more than me [shrugging emoji] I have not gotten back into the whole dating thing since. 

OHSHITITSMAR: partially because i also like boys&girls and girls do suck at asking people out… you got that so right lmao 

Cows_IV: but you do like boys 

OHSHITITSMAR: yeah duhh lol why do you think I gave you my AIM sn? 

Cows_IV: a lot of people don’t think I’m a boy, sadly. 

OHSHITITSMAR: that’s dumb yr literally growing facial hair and did you have top surgery or are you just really good at smooshing yr titties down? 

Cows_IV: [laughing emoji] no I’ve had top surgery lol. thanks. That was very Validating lmao 

OHSHITITSMAR: well it’s true anyone who wants to look at you and call you a girl is clearly a dumbass with yr little mustahce and all that 

Cows_IV: Well, I guess it’s time 

OHSHITITSMAR: for what, us to go to fuckn sleep? It is almost 3am now >_> 

I looked at the screen, struggling with myself a bit. I had wanted it to be time to ask her out, but she had a point that it was actually probably time to go to sleep. But for some reason, maybe because it was 3 am, maybe because I felt bad about not asking her out earlier, maybe because I’d had such a nice time chatting with her for the past, what, 9 hours? I decided to go through with it. 

Cows_IV: no, silly, it’s time for me to ask you out before I get the chance to chicken out again. 

I kept typing, and was both relieved and a little freaked out to see Mar was not typing. I imagined she was waiting for me to finish, but I was also scared she actually hadn’t wanted me to ask her out over instant messenger and I was making a fool of myself. 

Cows_IV: I know it’s not, like, the most impressive thing to ask someone out over AIM but I’m really scared if I tell myself I’ll do it tomorrow in person, or Monday, or whatever, I’ll just end up not doing it again. I am feeling brace enough to do it now and am going to go ahead and do it 

Cows_IV: SHIT *brave lol 

I kept an eye out for the little “OHSHITITSMAR is typing…” notification on the bottom of our chat window and didn’t see it, so I continued to type. 

Cows_IV: ANYWAY to make it, like, official and asking you on a real date or whatever. Dear Mar, would you like to go with me to Electric Avenue next Friday to check out the local bands and have a First Date? 

I hit enter, and watched closely again for the little “OHSHITITSMAR is typing…” notification. It didn’t show up for a while, just long enough to get a little knot in my stomach. Luckily, it did show up a few moments later, but it didn’t ease the stomach knot. 

Finally, a message from her replaced the “OHSHITITSMAR is typing…” notification. 

OHSHITITSMAR: okay, I’m totally down. I was worried you wouldn’t even get the nerve to ask me out over AIM, but you did and I’m glad. So, it’ll be our first date? You and me at Electric Avenue moshing to local bands? :smiling emoji: 

I fucking screamed. A terrible shrill sound that was pretty much “eeeeee!!!” came out of my mouth. I remembered it was 3am and my dad would tear me a new one if I woke him up, so I made myself shut the fuck up as soon as possible, but the giant smile on my face was nice and quiet and stuck around for a good ten minutes. 

Cows_IV: yes! I just got my license a few months ago so I can even pick you up. Wanna make it a ~~real~~ date and get food first? 

OHSHITITSMAR: sure! I see doors open at 8, pick me up at 7? I’ll give you my address in person at school. 

Cows_IV: wow! Sounds great! Anywhere in particular you’d likne to go for dinner? 

OHSHITITSMAR: you’re buying lol, so fast food is fine. Maybe steak n shake? Cheap but sit down? Also i fckn love Steak n shake lol 

Cows_IV: it is a date! So, uh, do you want to go to sleep now? It is … three hours until school starts :s sorry to keep you up so late. 

OHSHITITSMAR: eh, why bother at this point? Wanna stay up and pull an all-nighter together? 

Cows_IV: :grinning emoji: that sounds fun. I pull all-nighters by myself often enough, it’ll be nice to sort of have some company. 

And so we stayed up until it was time to get ready for school, chatting, sharing our favorite songs, getting to know each other even better, and sending each other links to funny memes.