#I told my mom and she didn’t get worried or anything and she doesn’t mention it

[junie-buggle]

Vent

When your disability takes away yet another thing you wanted to do and you’ve been having such bad symptoms for so long recently and you’ve already had so much taken away from you and you thought this was reasonable and now you’re in pain and so sick having been unable once again to live and what’s the point. And you’ve been hurt so much in the past by therapists both by callousness and by the complexity of your case but you’ve been so mentally ill for so long and you’ve been wanting to die and suffering mentally more and more so you finally made an appointment and want to try again but last week they cancelled on your intake on the day of because your therapist was sick and now it’s supposed to be tomorrow but you think you probably won’t get better by then but if you cancel it’ll be after the courtesy period so they will charge you and you’re thinking you just can’t deal with this anymore.

[starkwlkr]

mother (no, literally) | f1

I’m so happy you guys are loving this series 🫶🏼 this one has a bit of a time skip lol

part 1 part 2

“Did you hear the news?”

“What news?” Lando asked. It was the first race since coming back from summer break and Lando was excited. He had arrived a bit early so he could eat breakfast with his grid mom, but the mention of ‘news’ stopped him.

“Y/n is out of for the rest of the season. Porsche announced it yesterday.” His PR manager, Charlotte, told him.

“Who’s taking her seat?” He asked.

“Juan Manuel Correa.”

Lando stayed silent. He started to think of the worst possible scenarios. He knew she went to to Mykonos with Charlie for her break since she posted on Instagram and texted him that she got him several gifts. Did something happen on her vacation? He prayed that she was okay.

“Do you know if Adam is in the garage?” Lando asked.

“Yeah, he’s still there.”

And so Lando was off to the Porsche garage in search of their team principal. He definitely had the answers. After greeting the engineers, Lando spotted Adam talking with Juan Manuel Correa.

“Hey, man.” Lando greeted the older man. “Where’s Y/n?.”

Both Adam and Juan Manuel looked at Lando with a sorry look. “Did something happen to her? She didn’t text me anything about leaving Porsche.” Lando wanted the truth.

“She’s not leaving. She’s taking a break and don’t ask me for how long, I have no idea when she’ll be back, but for now we have Juan and I’m sure he’ll do an excellent job. Excuse us, we have to have a short meeting right now. Don’t worry, Lando, she’s not sick or injured. She’s fine, actually she’s more than fine.” Adam squeezed Lando’s shoulder as he passed by to get to his team.

“Do you know something?” Lando asked Juan.

“It’s not my place to tell.” Juan said then excused himself to follow his team principal.

Lando figured that if it was one thing bad then surely someone would tell him. But he received no answers.

TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY MARK WEBBER’S DILFNESS

The F1 off season was here and Lando had plans. First, he needed to see his grid mother. It had been months since he last saw her and everytime he tried to make time to go see her, she wasn’t home. He found it odd, but at least she responded back to his messages.

Y/n was in her LA home with Charlie making dinner. She had found several recipes she wanted to try out. Her belly had grown, obviously, and she couldn’t hide it anymore. When she went out with Charlie, she would wear baggy clothes, but now those same baggy clothes couldn’t hide her bump.

“I’ve been thinking.” Y/n mentioned, grabbing a chocolate covered strawberry and eating it. “We never talked about godparents. Do you have anyone in mind?”

“I assumed Lando would be the obvious choice even if he doesn’t know about the baby.” Charlie replied, grabbing a strawberry and eating it.

“He was my first choice the second I found out. But I thought that you would choose one of your friends or costars from sons of anarchy.” Y/n stood up from her chair to check on the mac and cheese in the oven.

“If you think Lando should be our baby’s godfather then he should. He’s a great kid, babe. He’s technically your first kid.” Charlie teased.

“I miss my grid kids.”

The doorbell had rung meaning Lando had arrived. It was Charlie’s idea to have dinner with Lando to tell him the news. Well . . Once he noticed the big baby bump on Y/n, he would get an idea. While Charlie went to answer the door, Y/n got the mac and cheese out the oven.

Lando had gotten used to being around Charlie. Sure, he was a bit skeptical at first, but once he got to know the man, he knew that Charlie was the one for his grid mom.

“Hey, mate. How was your flight?” Cherie greeted Lando once he opened the door.

“Same as all the others. How are you and the missus?” Lando asked, bringing in his suitcase since he was going to stay with Y/n and Charlie for a couple of days.

“We’re great. Y/n was counting down the days until you got here. She’s in the kitchen. Babe? Lando’s here.” Charlie announced as him and Lando walked towards the kitchen.

The younger driver was stunned when he saw how much Y/n had changed. It it wasn’t a bad change, it was the best change. She smiled at Lando and walked to him to give him a hug.

“You’re pregnant! That’s amazing! Oh my god, you’re going to be an actual mum!” Lando gasped. “Is this why you’ve been hiding?”

“Pretty much. I didn’t want to make my pregnancy public until the birth. I wanted to make sure everything was okay. But it’s more than okay. Baby Hunnam is healthy and growing so fast.” Y/n explained.

“I’m happy for you. Wow, you’re going to be a mum.” He said it as if he couldn’t believe it. “Congratulations to both of you. Do you know the gender yet?”

“We decided to keep it a secret until the birth.” Charlie added.

“Well I think one thing is certain. Baby Hunnam is going to have a lot of overprotective uncles when they make their paddock debut.”

[coquitokisses]

Back Together | Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader, (husband!Bucky Barnes x wife!reader, dad!Bucky Barnes x mom!reader)

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings/Tags: Bucky being dad and hubby material, fluff, angst maybe?

Summary: Bucky and reader are married and have two girls, but because of Bucky’s work, reader decides to “break up” and have been separated for a few months. (Let’s say that this “job” was when the whole thing with John Walker happened in TFATWS, idfk lol)

A/N: so I’m currently writing a fanfic (on wattpad) and I had this idea, but I’m not there on the fanfic just yet lol so I decided to just post it here (also, my first language isn’t english so if there are any errors or mistakes, I’m sorry lmao)

The girls are like 4 and 5 years old and those aren’t the names I have planned on using for the fanfic, but it’ll do for now.. and Steve is alive and well lol (he doesn’t make an appearance, but I do mention him, like I said, this idea came as I was writing a fanfic so what I did was try and edit it a little bit so yall don’t need context and shit lol just enjoy okay?)

A/N #2: this is my first time doing this so just bare with me please lmao

It’s almost 10 pm which means Bucky must be on his way to bring the girls back after having them for the weekend. You were away in Seattle the whole weekend for work, but anyways it was Bucky’s turn to stay with the kids. They were supposed to stay with Wanda tonight, but since you arrived earlier than anticipated, you told her that Bucky was gonna bring them over.

You’re not on the best terms. Actually, you’re broken up at the moment and have been like that for like three months now. It all started because of Bucky’s “job”. You always said that he wasn’t being careful with the things he did and you didn’t like the constant worrying about him every time he went out to do his things. He didn’t really see it that way which made you get into a really bad fight and you decided to break up because he wasn’t putting his safety, or his family, as a priority and you didn’t like that.

Which was kinda true. So you’re currently not living together. Bucky has been staying with Steve, or with Sam whenever he comes to New York. The girls usually stay with you and then Bucky takes them on the weekends, but whenever you can’t take them to school (or get them on time) or something on week days, then Bucky takes them without a problem.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pick them up for you?” Wanda asked while on FaceTime with you

“It’s alright, red, don’t worry.” You replied “Besides, Bucky’s probably on his way anyway.”

“Still haven’t talked?”

“Well we talk, just not about us.” You said walking out of the kitchen

“And are you guys still, like, mad or..?”

“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh

“Steve told you he got out.”

“I know.”

“So?”

“I just.. I don’t know, I haven’t talked to him about it.”

“Well I think you need to.” She said “Just have a little chat and see where things are at.. you guys still love each other.”

And you did. Of course you did. And the girls want you to get back together too. But you just haven’t talked about it again.

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You replied and just as you said that, you saw the car lights through the window “He’s here, I gotta go.”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“I will, love you.”

“Love you more.”

You hung up the call and left the phone on the couch before heading to the door. You opened it and saw Bucky walking over to the house holding Olivia, your youngest, in his arms and Eloise was walking right next to him. And the three of them just looked tired as hell.

“Hi mommy.” Eloise ran over to you

“Hi, pretty girl.” You immediately hugged her

“Say hi to mama, Liv.” Bucky said as he got closer

“Hi mama.” Olivia opened her arms wanting you to pick her up so you did

“Hi, my angel.” You kissed her cheek

“Sorry to bring them so late, we just got out of the cinema.” Bucky said

“Buck, it’s fine, they don’t even go to school yet.” You told him “Did you guys have fun?” You asked the girls

“So much fun!” Eloise replied excitedly “We also went to the trampoline park earlier.”

“Oh well that explains why someone’s a little more tired than others.” You looked at Olivia and she rested her head on your shoulder

“Mommy, can daddy tuck us in tonight, please?” Eloise asked

“Baby, I’m sure mommy had a really long and tired flight and she just wants to sleep.” Bucky told her

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You said “Daddy will tuck you in, sweetheart.” You tucked a few strands of Eloise’s hair behind her ear

“Daddy, come on.” She grabbed Bucky’s hand

You all went inside and you gave the girls a quick shower before Bucky helped them get in their pjs.

“Mommy, are we staying with auntie Wanda tomorrow?” Eloise asked as she got on her bed

“Yes, baby, I need to go to work.” You replied

“Can’t we stay with daddy?”

“Daddy works too, honey.” You moved her hair out of her face “I thought you liked staying with auntie Wanda.”

“We do, but we wanted to stay with daddy again.” Olivia spoke

“Well I can pick you up at auntie Wanda’s house when I get out of work, how does that sound?” Bucky told them

“And we can get dippin dots too?” Olivia looked at him with puppy eyes

“We can get whatever you girls want.” He said squishing her cheeks making her giggle

You couldn’t help but smile a little. You loved watching Bucky with the girls, he really is an amazing father and they love him like crazy.

“Alright it’s getting super late, time to sleep.” You said to them

“But mom!” Eloise pouted

“No buts, listen to your mom.” Bucky said “Come on, get in bed both of you.”

Each of the girls got in their beds and Bucky went and tucked them both. They have their own separate rooms, but they’re pretty close and they’ve always wanted to sleep in the same room so when the time came and you bought Olivia her big girl bed, Bucky just placed it in Eloise’s room. Anyways, when the time comes when they get to the point where they don’t even want to look at each other, you’ll probably make Bucky move Olivia’s bed back to her room and problem solved. But for now, they absolutely love being in the same room.

“I love you.” Bucky kissed Olivia’s forehead “And I love you.” He then kissed Eloise’s “So so much.”

“We love you too, daddy.” They said

“Now get some sleep because auntie Wanda is coming early tomorrow to pick you up before I leave.” You leaned down to kiss each of them on their heads “I love you both so insanely much.”

“Love you too, mommy.”

“Now go to sleep or I’ll call the slender man.” Bucky said as he turned off the light

He quickly closed the door once you got out of the room and the girls let out a scream that made you both laugh.

“You’re evil.” You chuckled “Creating them traumas so young.”

“It gives them strength.”

You rolled your eyes laughing. “Of course.”

You both went downstairs and then Bucky went back to the car to bring back Olivia’s shoes and a few toys that the girls left in the car. While you put them on the dining table, Bucky was just telling you what they did and how the girls were on the weekend.

“Liv didn’t even asked for my help to wipe her after using the bathroom.”

“No?!” You looked at him kinda shocked

Potty training Eloise was way easier than training Olivia. First she was afraid of the toilet being flushed, then she was afraid that something would come out and bite her, then she didn’t want to stay alone while using the toilet. It’s been a rollercoaster for all of you.

“No, she did it all by herself.”

“Oh my god, really? I’m gonna cry.” You said with a hand on your chest

“She said she’s a big girl and big girls don’t need any help to go potty.”

“She is a big girl.” You said “Fuck, they’re both getting so big.”

“They are.” He nodded “How was Seattle?”

“Fucking amazing.” You said excited “It’s so pretty.”

“And how did it went? Are they planning on transferring you?”

“Hell no, I told Nick I’m not leaving New York.” You replied “If we were still living in the compound, then this would’ve been a whole different conversation, but we’re not and we have kids now so no, I’m not leaving even if they pay me more.”

“Well if they are paying you more then..” he raised his eyebrows

You laughed. “You know what I mean, idiot.” You rolled your eyes “But no, I’m not being transferred.”

“Then why did you go?”

“Nick said that they needed someone like me for some training.” You answered “It was great, I got to teach a few people about self defense, how exciting.”

“I’m glad.” He said with a small smile

He was genuinely happy for you. He knew how much you’ve missed working like that. Being an agent, a spy, you missed it. But at the same time, it wasn’t really in your plans anymore ever since you got pregnant with Eloise. It happened during the blip as well so you weren’t exactly working as an agent or spy anymore so you just decided to leave it behind for good. Until recently.

“You know, if it’s really what you want, then go for it.” He told you “The girls aren’t stopping you and neither am I.”

“I know, but it’s just that I feel like I’m on a different stage in life now.” You said “It felt fucking amazing, don’t get me wrong.”

“Then do it, talk with Nick and tell him to put you out there, that’s what you want.”

“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh

“We’re not going anywhere, you know that, right?” He said and you looked at him “And how cool would it be for the girls to say that their mommy is a spy?”

You laughed. “They will brag about it for sure.”

“And the best part is that you’re great at it and always have been.”

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You shrugged looking at the time on the stove “It’s getting very late.” You looked at him

“Ouch okay, I’m leaving.”

“Oh my god.” You rolled your eyes

“Are we gonna keep this up?” He looked at you

“What?”

“This nonsense.” He motioned his hand between the two of you

“This nonsense?” You arched an eyebrow “Do I need to remind you whose fault is it that we’re on this position right now?”

“It could’ve gone so much better, but little miss I’m extremely petty over here, doesn’t like to listen to people and doesn’t care about anything other than her opinion.” He said

“Oh don’t make me mad, James.” You crossed your arms

“It’s the truth and you know it.”

“I think you can go now.” You said turning around and starting to walk away

“See what I mean?” You heard him say from behind “Can’t we just talk about it like normal people?” He asked following you

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.” You said turning around to look at him

“Well I think it is.”

“Bucky..”

“Y/N, come on.” He sighed “It’s been three months, are you gonna keep pushing me away?”

And he’s right, you’ve been kinda pushing him away. To be honest, the whole thing could’ve been avoided if Bucky and you came to an agreement, but you never did. You were upset that he was going away with Sam to do all these things that you weren’t okay with and you were thinking about the kids, which, at the moment, he wasn’t doing and that pissed you off. That was the whole thing. He didn’t want to empathize with the way you were viewing the whole situation and he was kinda making you look crazy. Saying things like “it’s not a big deal” or “everything will be alright, you don’t need to freak out”.

How does he expect you to not freak out when he doesn’t care about doing all this dangerous things? Was he insane?

In other circumstances, if you didn’t have kids for example, maybe you would’ve been a little bit more okay with it, maybe. But it’s a whole different scenario now.

And you were kinda pushing him away, sort of. But it wasn’t intentional, it’s just that you were kinda petty and there were times where he wanted to kinda fix things, but you wouldn’t let him because you would find a way to push him away unconsciously.

“You made me feel like I was exaggerating when I clearly wasn’t.” You said

“Because at the moment I did feel that way and I didn’t want to view the situation the way you were.” He explained “And I know I was wrong for that and I’m sorry.”

You let out a sigh. “You still went.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I should’ve stayed here with you, I regretted it the moment I left with Sam.” He said “And I came back as soon as I could.”

“And you stayed with Steve.” You rolled your eyes

“Baby, you wanted to kill me, do you really think I was just gonna come and ask you to take me back after that shit? Like you were just gonna accept me.”

“… Well, you’re kinda right.”

“I know, Steve told me you were pissed and that you wanted to punch me.”

“I did tell him that.” You nodded

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

“It’s fine, just forget it, I’m sick of the topic anyway.” You replied leaning on the back of the couch

“But are we fine?” He asked

“I don’t know, are we?”

“Well I’d say we are, kinda.” He got closer to you “You want me to do anything?”

“You could start by fixing the damn back door.”

“Again? But I just fixed it a few months ago.”

“Well I think you did it wrong because the doorknob is broken again.”

“I need to change that fucking door already.” He rolled his eyes “Anything else? Are you still mad at me?”

“A little.” You replied

“Just a little?” He moved his hands to your hips “I can help you change your mind.”

“Easy there, soldier.”

“Easy my ass, come here.”

Before you could even protest, his real hand grabbed your neck and he pulled you in for a kiss that screamed need. You really missed his kisses and just the way he would always give you a peck, whenever and wherever, whatever you were doing, he didn’t give a single care in the world. This man could see you sitting on the toilet and he still would go and give you a quick kiss.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He whispered on your lips “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

“I did too.”

“Can we please never fight again?” He gently put his forehead against yours

“As long as you don’t piss me the fuck off doing some stupid shit like that again, we’re good.”

“Good.” He nodded before kissing you again

“And I swear to god..” you started saying between kisses “If I see you again that close to John Walker, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I know.” He said lowering his hands to the back of your thighs and picking you up

masterlist

a/n: should I post the fanfic here? What do we think? Lol (I’ve been thinking about it A LOT lately)

**UPDATE! I ended up uploading the fanfic and here is the masterlist for it lol

Anywaysss, hope you liked this! <3

(Likes and reblogs will be appreciated)

[spliffymae]

forgotten connie drabble (18+ mdni)

★　*　　°　　　　🛰 　°. 🌓　•　　.°•　　　🚀

“SURPRISE!”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE!”

you moved to the side once you were inside, coming in behind the man of the hour himself. sasha had been running rampant to throw him an amazing surprise party. and you were in on it, tasked with bringing connie home from work and acting as if you know nothing about what the current day was.

which proved to be hard the second connie got into your car after putting his bag in the back seat. “ahh shit! they got mi cielita to take me out. where we going, mami?” connie was grinning ear to ear as he looked at you, dimples popping below red freckled cheeks.

he was so cute, and you were gonna hate to do this but, “what’re you on about, springer?” you scrunched your face up in confusion at him. you then quickly looked ahead to pull out the parking lot. if you looked at him for too long you were sure you’d crack.

connie rolled his eyes, not buying your ignorance. “oh stop that, y’know what i’m talking bout.” he said as he buckled himself in and then reclined the passenger seat.

with the strongest will you could muster, you kept up the confusion, looking back at him and with a quirked brow, “you got a game or sum?” you asked, knowing damn well he had nothing going on today. his birthday happened to land on the off day for ball practice AND track practice, not to mention he didn’t have class either.

now, when sasha told you to act like you forgot that his birthday was today, she failed to mention to you that it was something connie’s mother had done plenty of times in his life…not as a joke, though.

connie really cared about four women in his life: you, sasha, his little sister, and his mom. so you forgetting his day took a pin to his bubble and popped the fuck out of it. he didn’t dwell on the subject anymore, changing to now talk about your days. however, connie was feeling down on the inside. all his friends had wished him a happy birthday either via call, text, or social media post. have you not been on your phone today?

when you pulled up to his and sasha’s shared apartment, you flashed him a smile but it was not reciprocated. connie was staring ahead, zoned out in thought. so much so he doesn’t feel you turn the car off or hear you call his name.

“con” you pushed his shoulder slightly, getting him to snap out of his own head.

“hm?”

“we’re at your place. is it cool if i come up to use the bathroom?” you usually wouldn’t say anything and invite yourself into his apartment. days when you’d get him we’re days you set aside to hang with him. but today seems to be different. connie wondered if you had made plans that made you forget about his birthday.

“uh yeah, sure.” he said lowly. he reached back to grab his backpack and with that, got out the car. you could see the defeat in his walk towards the doors. he was mumbling to himself, more times trying to dissect what the hell was going on with you. because you wouldn’t just forget, right?

you got out the car and sped walk to catch up, sending sasha a quick text to let her know yall were back. you also cussed her for telling you to do this to connie, knowing how pouty he gets.

the walk to the elevator was quite, along with you two getting off at his floor and going to his apartment. however, before connie turned the key he put into the lock, he turned to you. his eyes were glossed over and cheeks dusted with a crimson red. he was chewing on his bottom lip, hazel eyes filled with worry. “did i do something, mami? you mad at me?”

and oh my god you wanted to break the act right there…but you were RIGHT THERE.

you blinked, “what do you mean, con? why would i be?” you wanted him to just open the door. once he opened the door you could drop the act, you could give him all the birthday love you were holding in since midnight.

connie let out a sigh and turned back around, giving up on the matter and turning the lock to go in. the day was no longer felt good. what good was a birthday if the one person he wanted to spend it with forgot about it?

when the door opened, connie walked inside and turned on the light and was immediately met with screams, cheers, and camera lights in his face.

which brings us here, to where he freezes and looks around at his friends from his basketball team, work, childhood, and sasha standing in the middle with a cake.

connie spent a good couple seconds taking everything in, he was slightly embarrassed to say once he believed you had forgotten he immediately forgot the day, choosing to just wallow in his room as he smoked a spliff.

you took a step forward, hands behind your back and coming up on his right. “happy birthday, connie.” you bumped him with your hip, once again snapping him out of his own head and bringing him back to the present.

the big, toothy smile he had in your car came back, now decorated with deep dimples and eyes watery with tears of appreciation.

just as he was about to say something to you, jean pulled him away, leaving you two with an unfinished conversation.

•　　.°•

you were talking to sasha in the kitchen as connie was socializing with all his guests. he hadn’t had the chance to come back to you just yet, but you weren’t worried. you didn’t plan on going anywhere.

“i told you! he’s so brain dead when it comes to you that he’ll completely forget everything. did you see how lost he looked when he saw us?” sasha was so happy that her plan had turned out well. she knew her best friend well enough to know it wasn’t going to take a lot to get his mind off his literal day of birth. not when you were the one thing that stayed on his mind and could pull his attention from anything.

you playfully rolled your eyes, “i still hated seeing how sad he looked. why didn’t you tell me i was damn near triggering him?!” you were nursing your second cup of a mimosa, slightly tipsy.

sasha giggled. she, on the other hand, had been four shots in from when you guys came in. “i forgot. but it’s all good now. oop—here he comes.” before you knew it, sasha had stepped away and now connie was in your space.

his eyes were low and bloodshot, having just come back from a hotbox with his guys in the car. “mami, you really are sum special.” he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together and pulling you to be flush against him.

you smiled, “sasha made me, pa. you know i would never forget your day.” you traced his lips with your finger, your acrylic nail going along his prominent cupids bow. connie held your hand still and kissed your finger, then moved your hand so it was at the back of his head. it brought you closer into his space, his cologne taking over your senses. he loweeeed his head to touch yours, looking in your eyes.

“¿dónde está mi regalo, princesa? his hands trailed up from your waist to your back, to your elbow and then shoulder. he tucked one of your locs behind your ear, staring at you as if you held both the moon and the stars. “i been dying to unwrap it” his eyes were scanning all over your face, taunting you with his hidden meaning.

“quiero mi pastel, ma. soy hambriento.” he undid the button with ease, bringing you to gasp and instinctively grip the small curls on the back of his neck.

“later.” you said softly, giving him a sweet smile to match. but connie smirked with wickedness, red eyes gleaming of mischief. his hand trailed back down to the waistband of your baggy pants.

“c-con.” you could feel his long and slender fingers pad over your core. he pressed his index and his middle against your clit, sending a jolt up your spine. “this party’s for you.” you bit your lip when you felt him move them in a circular motion, the wetness of your pussy dampening your panties.

“it’s my birthday, right? i can do whatever i want, right?” you were gonna answer, but then he pushed your panties to the side. he had rubbed your lips to collect your slick on his fingers, and slowly began to push them inside of you. your mouth opened, but no words came out.

“oh princesa, did you forget how to talk? just like how you forgot papi’s birthday?” he tsked, shaking his head, “made me so sad. y’know” the force of his thrusts picked up, knocking you back to grip the edge of the counter behind up. “a mean joke you guys pulled on me.”

“pa…i-i can’t be quiet” you panicked, looking at connie with worrisome eyes. he knew you were a screamer, fuck it was what he loved about you. pleasure would overwhelm you quick and all your composure would go flying out the window. you got animalistic when you’d approach your peak, and connie never missed the chance to see it. but today, you were doing your best to show restraint the clench of your jaw let him know you really wanted to get it out but were resisting.

connie took his other hand to rub a thumb on your clit, turning his ears off to anything that wasn’t your faulty breaths or straggled moans. “hm…guess i forgot.”

[thehorrorgirlstyles]

Opposites attract

Part 1

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Find P2 Here!

Warnings: 18+ smut, male masturbation, degradation!kink, pet names, cussing, squirting, little bit of praise!kink, derogatory words, harassment, bullying, public sex, some breeding kink, dry humping

Minors don’t interact!

Summary: You are the queen of Hawkins high, being a cheerleader and dating the football captain Jason, however after spending time with the dungeon master and getting to know just how attractive he is, while Jason shows his true colors one night, your love for the blonde slowly starts to fade away and is replaced by an ache needing to be relieved by Eddie “the freak” Munson…

——————————————————————————

Jason was the love of your life or at least that’s what you told yourself. I mean he was your first everything, boyfriend, v-card, kiss, etc… You loved him and he loved you, you couldn’t be happier, or at least you thought. One night, while your mom and dad where gone on a business trip, you and Jason were laying on your queen size bed in your obnoxiously pink room, while Kate Bush played faintly in the back room of your room, when he decided to express his hatred for the brown haired freak.

“I just don’t get what your problem is with Eddie Jason, he seems nice”. You say as you look into his eyes. “Are you serious y/n, he’s a freak that leads a cult into worshiping the devil!” He looks at you like you’ve just grown two heads. “Jason listen to me… when I talked to Eddie the other da-” He interrupts you, “Talked to him, y/n you can’t be serious, I told you to stay away from him, he’s dangerous.” “Eddie may be different but he’s not dangerous” You look at him as he stares at you in disbelief. “Babe as your boyfriend I’m telling you to stay away from him… don’t talk to him, don’t stand up for him, don’t even look at him… I’m serious y/n”. You’ve never been scared of Jason before but the look in his eyes makes you worry, he must noticed this because he continues, “I’m sorry I just wanna keep you safe, I don’t want anything bad happening to you”. You seriously doubt Eddie would do anything to hurt you, but you stay quiet and nod you head, while giving a small smile to your boyfriend, you just want this conversation to be over with.

On Monday morning, while getting dressed for school you think back to how mad your boyfriend got because of Eddie, but you brush it off because like he said, he just wants to protect you, he doesn’t want you getting hurt or anything bad to happen to you.

When you hop into his car he gives you a quick peck on the lips and heads off to school, not even mentioning the conversation you two had earlier that night.

After you arrive to school Jason gives you a hug and heads off to class, in pursuit of finding his basketball friends. You look around for your best friend Robin but can’t seem to find her in the crowd, so you head to the bathrooms to freshen up before going back out. Just as you reach the bathrooms, you collide with a tall figure. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see where I was going”. You apologize without looking up. “It’s alright sweetheart, I should’ve been more careful”. You recognize the voice instantly and look up to see Eddie staring back at you with a small grin. “Oh hey Eddie, how’ve you been” you smile back. “Oh you know same old same old, still rounding up kids for my devil worshiping cult, in fact we just found a great candidate for our sacrifice tomorrow”. “Oh really” you play along chuckling. “Yup she’s a sweetheart” he smiles at you. You open your mouth to respond, but you hear someone calling your name. You turn around to be met with a not so pleased Jason. “Oh umm Jason I was jus-” he cuts you off again, “What the fuck are you doing to my girl” he seethes at Eddie, while pulling you away from him by your arm. “Oh nothing just turning the queen over to the dark side” he just smiles at Jason’s anger. Jason however doesn’t seem to appreciate it, as he grips Eddie’s shirt by the collar, “Stay the fuck away from her you freak” he spits in Eddie’s face. “Don’t go near her ever again” Eddie just grins at this, “Wouldn’t dream of it”. Jason finally lets Eddie go and turns back around to you. You notice the way his eyes are dark, burning with anger. He grips your arm and basically drags you around the corner. When he gets to a secluded area he pushes you up against the wall, “Remember that chat we had yesterday” all you can do is nod, to scared to say anything. “If you remember then why were you talking to him y/n” the way he says your name makes you want to get away from him, after a while you don’t say anything, so he bangs his fist against the wall right next to your head, “SPEAK TO ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!” He yells. You flinch in shock, Jason has never dared to raise his voice at you before, “WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU AND MUNSON TALKING!” You close your eyes and breathe, was Jason really yelling at you right now, was he really this pissed about a conversation, you and Eddie didn’t even exchange that many words, why was he so freaking pissed, “I’m sorry… it won’t happen again”. You open your eyes and look at him, he seems to have calmed down. “Alright, I-I just want you to be safe baby, that’s all I want” he hugs you against the wall and you’d think that you’d feel safe anywhere else than in his arms.

The next day you forget about the encounter with Jason and go on with your day like normal, going to English class with Robin, doing your cheer routine with Chrissy, during cheer practice, having lunch with your boyfriend, and having physics with Eddie Munson… wait having physics with Munson. As you round the corner for your physics class, you start to grow worry. The teacher recently paired the students up to work on a project and you, of course, got paired to be with Eddie. At first you thought it would be a fun experience, getting to know more about the metal head, but now, after Jason’s warning yesterday, you were terrified. Of course you liked Eddie, I mean you two got on quick a lot, considering how you were you and he was he, but Jason made you distance yourself from a potential friend and you didn’t want to find out what would happen if you were to break the distancing, for your sake and his. When you got to the door, you could see Eddie writing something down in his notes, probably working on his new campaign, you smiled at the thought. You were about to go and sit next to him, when Jason’s voice repeated in your head, so instead you decided to skip, it was the last period of the day anyways.

When you got home, you sat on your bed and wondered what things would be like if Jason wasn’t your boyfriend. You couldn’t imagine life without him, but with the way he was starting to act, it made you scared and a girl should never be scared of the one that’s supposed to love you the most, but maybe that’s it, maybe Jason loves you too much.

Friday comes around and everything has gone back to normal, except for the fact that you haven’t been attending your last period class. You know you owe Eddie and explanation, I mean he is trying to graduate this year and so are you, so you make your way to the place you know he will be.

When you get to the door, where hellfire is held, you pause, should you really be doing this, if Jason found out, you don’t even wanna think about it, but then you think about Eddie and about how nice he’s been too you, how funny and sarcastic he can be in class, how he always asks for your help on assignments, how he isn’t afraid to speak his mind, and how he doesn’t let anyone speak bad about you, not even his club members. Eddie has been nothing but kind to you and here you are blowing him off because of your possessive boyfriend, so to hell with what he cares, you are going to apologize to Eddie. Just as your about to open the door Jason walks down the hall with Patrick and chance. You mentally scream, if he saw you standing outside the hellfire door, you wouldn’t hear the end of it, so you open the door and run inside without looking back.

You hold your breathe as you hear them pass by and exhale with relief. “Umm hello” your head shoots up at the voice, Dustin you believe his name is speaks, “We’re kind of in the middle of a game here” he looks at you. You look around the room, realizing everyone stoped what there doing to look at you. You blush, you didn’t even consider to think that Eddie would be having a campaign going, “Oh right, I’m sorry” you go to leave, wanting to be gone, this was so embarrassing. As you go to turn the knob, Eddie speaks up, “Wait” you turn around and look into his eyes, he stares back and clears his throat, “Uh did you need something… what did you want” you look at him silently praying that he’ll take the hint that you want to talk in private. He looks back at you and then at his friends, “Give me five minutes” in says to them, you hear them all groan in protest, but he’s already up and out of his throne, as he calls it.

When you go out the room you start to realize how nervous you are. Eddie looks at you patiently waiting for you to speak. “I just wanted to come and apologize to you for not showing up to class… I know how much you want to, how hard your trying to graduate this year and me not being there isn’t helping, since we have to work on it together and all”you look up at him and he smiles at you. “It’s not your fault, it’s alright y/n, however I do miss you, physics is so boring without you there to laugh at my god awful jokes” you chuckle with him, god did you miss those jokes. “I’ll be there tomorrow and we can get right back to it” you make up your mind, Jason doesn’t have the right to tell you who you can’t and can speak to, he would just have to deal with it you decide. “Great I can’t wait sweetheart” he grins at you and you smile back blushing. Finally things are actually back to normal. Eddie bids you farewell and goes back to hellfire, you turn around and go to leave school. Just as you turn around and walk a little to the front doors, you see your boyfriend standing there with his arms crossed. You gulp, did he just get here or was he standing there for a long time, how much of that did he see? Telling by the look on his face, he saw all of it…

[orpheuswasmine]

More Amnesia Bill AU

Amnesia Bill! I think it is a really bittersweet idea. I imagine they were going to do their ritual thing to get rid of him but after the ritual fails they opp on trying to kill him. Fortunately, no one can really bring themselves to kill him, since he’s so lost and confused about everything. Genieuly helpless and everyone just takes pity.

I said in my last post he would remember some things via dreams and shit, but I think the only thing he would remember in the start would be his parents. Can you imagine Ford mentally preparing himself to kill Bill, just to hear him talk about his parents so suddenly? I don’t think he would say a lot, but just like, “I was close with my mom. I don’t know where she is,” or something like that.

More about the whole regaining memories bit by bit, I swear up and down he would have a meltdown in the middle of the night because he regained the memory that HE DESTROYED HIS DIMENSION. Even though he keeps getting told it’s just a nightmare, it definitely wasn’t just a nightmare, he’s reliving the worst of the worst every night.

Slow a burn story. I fw the whole enemies to lovers but in this case, it’s a one-sided enemies shit. Ford (and everyone else as mentioned in the last post) hates Bill—Ford shows it, whether subtly or outright, he leans more into the subtleness of it all. After a while, he does realize Bill is genuinely powerless and not faking shit. He would be more sympathetic, but he definitely will still harbor the animosity for a while; however, Bill definitely fell in love during the time Ford was more sympathetic to him.

The start between them is like, Bill wanted to be friends with Ford because he seemed to know him like the back of his hand. Bill doesn’t have romantic feelings for Ford in the start, rather just this kind of desperation to cling to anything or anyone that can help him remember something, anything. Ford definitely didn’t like him, and any time Bill tried interacting with him, he either ignored him or walked away. Avoidance is key, but he can’t avoid the man forever. Eventually, they start to talk—more like Bill does the talking—Ford becomes a lot more invested whenever Bill talks about his memories. There were definitely times he got a bit worried Bill would remember their time together.

Bill's continuous nightmares would get so bad, Ford decided to stay with him for a night.

Last post, I said Mabel would be the only one to believe Bill, loosely. She shows her sympathy to him early on, but she’s still super weary of him. he helped him settle in a bit and when he needed to cry and tell someone about a new memory he regained, he’d always tell Mabel. Like his parents. A small conversation like this perchance?

“I wanted to show them the stars, that’s all I wanted. No one knew what I was talking about then. I wonder if they can see the stars now.”

“I’m sure they can now—hey, maybe they see you right now? I bet your parents would be happy to see where you are right now.”

“You reallY think they can see me?”

“Oh definitely. With your looks and personality, how can they miss you?”

While everyone is weary of Bill and lowkey trying to get rid of him, Bill is enjoying his time bonding with Mabel, even if she sometimes slips up and shows her suspicions towards him.

Bill's relationship with Stanley and Dipper is really rough. Like, genuinely, they don’t hide the fact they don’t like him, especially Dipper. Bill could be sweeping and then Dipper is in the back praying for his downfall. Dipper definitely shuns him and on some bad days, he does lash out at Bill. I don’t think their relationship would get super better over time, rather, I think it would become something like tolerance. As much as Dipper hates him, he doesn’t really have much of a say in what happens. He doesn’t show his hate toward him too much, occasionally they can have a decent conversation, but when push comes to shove, Dipper will definitely lash out at Bill again.

The same can be said about Stan, though I do think he would somewhat come around to like Bill. Not by much, just a bit. Just like Dipper, he would lash out, but he took a more teasing approach towards Bill, knowing it would definitely annoy the demon. Even if it went over Bill’s head, he definitely sensed him getting really agitated about it. He messes with Bill more so, his way of letting out his hate for him. Bill can tell Stan doesn’t like him, but he rather have to deal with stan’s antics than to be ignored all the time.

That's all for tonight gang BYEE

[greynatomy]

football or football?

lucy bronze x reader

lucy won the very close poll.

been seeing the whole taylor swift and travis kelce thing on tiktok and got this idea.

this became longer than Iithought it’d be. was supposed to be a ficlet. oh, well.

let me know what you think!

-grey

———

For the past two weeks, you’ve been trending on twitter. At first you don’t know what it’s about, but your publicist caught you up saying how there’s a footballer — American footballer — who keeps mentioning you in interviews and on his podcast. It was honestly getting pretty annoying, not just to you, but also to your very jealous girlfriend.

You’d both decided to keep your relationship private, with you being a popular musician and your girlfriend being a top footballer in the league. Except, the media has been labeling your relationship as friends, best friends who support each other. Never once has there been an article where you both are speculated to be dating.

You’ve both been fun with it, being able to not have to hide anything, but with the whole Travis Kelce using your name to stay relevant to the media, your girlfriend is getting fed up.

“I don’t know why he keeps bringing you up? Not once have you mentioned him on anything. ‘The ball is in your court?’ Like what does that mean?” Lucy rambles.

“Honestly, I’m getting tired of it too. I’ve been so busy with touring that I didn’t even know about it until Sarah told me.” You reply, cuddling up to her on the bed, your head on her chest.

“Did Sarah tell you what you should do?”

“Sarah’s pretty much fed up like the both of us so she said it’s up to me. She doesn’t care if I tell him to fuck off, I’d do it anyway without telling her.”

“Didn’t you say he invited you to a game?”

“Yeah, he did. Why?” You we’re getting skeptical with the way Lucy has a smirk and mischievous look on her face.

“Don’t you think it’s time for us to come out, no?”

“Been together four years. Probably long overdue.”

“Well you better tell him that you’d love to accept that invitation, with a plus one of course.”

“I’m liking the way you think.”

———

Now a week later, you and Lucy were dressed up in red, arriving at Arrowhead Stadium. Lucy had a red England bucket hat on that she took off your head. You were being escorted to the friends and family box by security, running into people who recognized you. One hand holding Lucy’s the other waving to people as you passed.

Walking into the box, you were met with lots of people, Travis’ mom was the one to come and greet you.

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Kelce.”

“Oh, please call me Donna. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m a big fan of your music, been wanting to meet you ever since Travis said that you’d both started talking.”

“That’s so nice of you, thank you, but unfortunately all the conversations your son had with me are one sided. I’ve never once entertained anything he said. The only time I’ve texted back was to tell him I’d love to attend a game. Never been to an American Football game before.”

“Really? My son said you guys were getting along.”

“Unfortunately for him, we haven’t. But I’d like to introduce you to my partner Lucy.”

“Oh, it’s very nice to meet you as well Lucy. I’m sorry if my son cause any trouble between the two of you.”

“It’s no worries at all. Excited to watch the game.”

“You’ve got an accent. Where are you from?”

“From England.”

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for accents. But let’s not let the situation get in the way and enjoy this game.”

———

liked by fan1, fan2 and 23,749 others

ynupdates yn seen at the kansas chief’s game

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fan1 NO WAY SHES THERE

fan2 MAMA KELCE IS WITH HER

fan3 is ynvis real?!?!

fan4 is everyone gonna ignore lucy bronze right next to her

———

The game just finished. Everyone is cheering as the Chief’s won a game at home. You and Donna hug each other close, jumping up and down. Lucy was actually awestruck by all the people celebrating their team winning, thinking back to all the times fans of hers and her team celebrated like this.

Moments after, you follow Debby to the hallways, no doubt leading to her son. Travis comes out freshly showered and changed a bit after, going straight to his Mom for a hug. Then he turns to you opening his arms out for a hug, so you give him a side hug, not wanting to be mean. Cameras click nonstop towards the two of you.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” He says to you.

“You as well. Great game you played out there.”

“Thank you. Wanna go somewhere more private so we can hear each other better without the prying eyes?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He leads towards the exit, you following behind him, your hand holding Lucy’s tightly, who Travis hadn’t acknowledged at all. Exiting towards the garage where his and your cars are parked, you relax a bit, relieved to be away from the cameras. Lucy walks a bit off to the side to let you two talk, but still close enough to hear, in case he says something he shouldn’t.

“Im glad you accepted my invite.”

“Yeah, me too. I’ve never been to or seen an American Football game.”

“American Football?”

“Well, yeah. The U.S is the only one that plays this sport. Football is played throughout the world.”

“Wow, you’re gonna be like that?” He says, thinking you’re flirting with him by saying his sport isn’t widely played.

“Be like what?”

“Never mind. But I just wanted to ask if you wanna hang out right now? Get to know each other a bit more.” He steps closer towards you, but you step back.

“I’d have to decline. My girlfriend and I have to get back to England. She’s got a couple Football matches coming up.”

“Girlfriend?” Travis is shocked by the information. “I didn’t know you were even with someone.”

“I’m surprised no one knows. They see two girls and automatically think they’re best friends or something. But, no, been with that girl right there four years. It was very obvious.” You wave Lucy over. “Travis this is Lucy Bronze, my girlfriend—”

“—Actually fiancé. Proposed a couple weeks ago, so there’s still some getting used to. It’s nice to meet you mate. Heard you’ve been talking ‘bout my girl pretty often past few weeks.”

The look on Travis’ face is laughable.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, we’re very private people. But now that you’ve met my girl after being all up in her DM’s, you’d stop using her name to stay relevant yeah? ‘Cause it’s making you look desperate.”

You didn’t interfere. You’re stood off to the side, a proud look on your face.

“Yeah, of course. Never again.”

“The last thing you should talk about in that little podcast of yours is a public apology using her name for fame like many men have in the past.”

After a moment of Lucy staring at Travis she speaks up again. It was a bit funny how intimidated he looked at Lucy, seeing as she’s almost a foot shorter than him

“Well, mate, we best be off. I’ve got some Football to be preparing for, my girl by my side always. Best of luck to you. Hope you find someone that isn’t taken.”

With that, she takes a hold of your hand, leading you to the car. You give him a little wave, leaving him speechless in the middle of the parking garage.

———

liked by leahwilliamsonn, lucybronze and 10,375,829 others

yourinstagram Thank you travis for the invite! Had a lot of fun at my first ever American Football game with my Fiancé. Congrats to you and your team on the win! #KansasCityChiefs

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lucybronze very different from football for sure

↳ yourinstagram very different

leahwilliamsonn where was my invite?

↳ yourinstagram you didn’t get one

↳ leahwilliamsonn rude

fan1 SHES ENGAGED

fan2 ynvis isn’t real thank god!

fan3 OHMYGOD ITS LUCY BRONZE ALCJHD

fan4 this is a very polite way of saying ‘keep my name out your fucking mouth’

[bobbin-buckley]

Broken Glass

Cairo x SoccerPlayer!Fem!Reader

Summary: Your troublemaker girlfriend breaks up with you

Warnings: Break up, mentions of lung cancer

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cairo was always difficult to deal with. Always exploding over the small things you say that come out as a insult to her, or the bold assumptions she makes. Cairo was a girl who never cared about anyone other than herself, but in this case she cared for you..

Today was her girlfriends ball party, you are Cairo’s girlfriend. You held this party because of your congrats on winning your soccer game. And ball dances happened to be your favorite, so you held one.

She was currently dancing with you slowly, it was a slow dance..her hands around your neck as you kept your hand placement on her waist. She was wearing a white gown, that hugged her hips nice..

She seemed quiet and relaxed as she danced with you, but really her mind was running a hundred miles per hour. Her hands left your neck, pulling away before speaking.

“Can we step outside? I need to talk to you.” She said, looking pretty tense now.

The big smile you had on your face was now gone, but nodded to follow her anyways. She takes your hand and brings you out the garden terrace. She turns to you, letting go of your hand and leaning against the railing. Her brown hair shinning in the moonlight.

“Can I ask you something?” Cairo was looking at you, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. “Yeah, always.” You replied with, leaning against the rail with her.

She glanced down at her heels for a moment, gathering herself for what she was going to say. She seemed really nervous, she isn’t good about expressing her feelings, so she gets straight to the point.

“…do you really love me? Do I mean..anything to you?” Cairo asks, her voice broke a bit.

You furred your eyebrows, caught off guard by the question a bit..but it didn’t really surprise you. She seemed to always ask questions like these when she felt insecure, which you always replied with the same certain response. “Of course I do. Cairo you’re my girlfriend, I love you.”

“You do?” Her voice trembles. She seems confused, which confused you. It’s like she’s digesting the response. Her own love life has been so complex.. she still doesn’t even fully understand herself, but she wants to believe what you’ve said.

“Are you sure?” You notice the tears in her eyes swell up more, she’s holding back tears. “Yes of course I am,” you respond. “What’s going on my love?”

“I-it’s..” Cairo’s having a hard time finding the words, as she’s on the verge of a breakdown. She glanced around the terrace, looking at the small water fountain in the middle..seeing the moonlights reflection in it.

She held a hand up to her mouth to cover up sobs. “My…my mom…” she squeaks out. You tilt your head a bit, “what about your mom?”

“She has lung cancer..” your eyes widen at her words. She breaks, tears streaming down her face. She hadn’t told anyone..or muster up the courage to say something about the situation..maybe only her close friends…but how come not you?

“A-and I’ve been so distracted because of it. I haven’t been able to focus on anything, my grades are going down..” she couldn’t finish her sentence..her breathing becoming harsh..sobbing a lot.

“Hey..hey shhh..” you wrapped your arms around her small form, trying to comprehend the situation. “I’m so sorry baby..”

Cairo leans her head on your chest, letting out some more sobs. She’s been a loss of support..but of your presence there she’s slightly relieved. Less weight on her shoulders when you embrace her.

“I-i didn’t know how to tell you..” she whispers through a few more cries. “Hey..shhh, it’s okay.” You rub her back.

Cairo takes a deep breath as her sobs subside a bit. She pulls away from your embrace, which only increases your worries. She clears her throat, “thank you.”

You nod, happy to calm her down a bit..but not convinced enough she’s done. “Always. I’m glad you told me though..how is she right now?” You weren’t close with Cairo’s parents, I mean they were pretty much gone all the time since they’re lawyers ..but hearing that her mother had lung cancer, was shocking.

You rubbed her cheek and she smiles a bit at the gesture, relieved to tell you about the situation, albeit with a lot of difficulty. “She isn’t doing very well..” she took a deep breath, finding it hard to keep her tears at bay.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to continue..it’s okay..”

She had something else to say, and you knew it. But you aren’t prepared. “But, there’s something else.”

There it is

“What is it love?” Now were you worried.

Now she doesn’t want to say it, but she’s already put herself in the situation. She knows if she says never-mind you’ll keep asking her. But despite her shyness, she speaks again.

“I..I don’t think I can be your girlfriend anymore..”

Your eyes widen, feeling your heart drop in your stomach. “Wh-what?”

Cairo nods her head slowly as she looks down. She seems scared to have said those words, apprehensive to your next response. Her voice trembles as she speaks again, “I..I don’t think I’m cut out for a relationship right now..”

Those words hit you like a bus. You can’t believe the situation right now, even at Cairo’s confession. You both have been together for five months now, things were going fine…you loved each other. But now she wanted to end things now? At your celebration? You get the fact her mom has lung cancer, but it isn’t like she’s dead….yet.

“It’s- its because of your mom..? Isn’t it.” You finally spoke up. “Yeah..” she confirms, her throat is dry. More tears flow, sobs continuing. She turns away from you, afraid to look at you.

“O-okay..” you step back, voice trembling too. As your own tears flood down.

“Please, I don’t want you to think it’s your fault.” She turns around to face you again, she scans your hurt face. She knows she messed up, your posture and facial expressions says it all. She’s aware of your sensitivity, she knows how you blame yourself when she is upset.

“N-no it’s fine..I mean yeah- I get it.” You let out a shaky breath, your own thoughts forming.

Maybe she hates you, she doesn’t love you, you aren’t good enough, it’s all your fault, you messed up

“You do?” She looks up at you in shock. Cairo wasn’t expecting such an easy response, she assumed maybe you’d have questions. But she also didn’t want to push the issue further, honestly, she wanted to agree what she was saying. Because outside of her family issues, she’s having a hard time understanding her feelings for you, and to her this was the only way to deal with the situation. Push you away like you’ve never met before, breaking your fragile heart and her own.

You shrug, “I don’t..know what else to say.” Cairo shakes her head, she didn’t expect you to say much. But she did expect a response of begging for her to not leave you..

“I’m sorry,” “it’s not your fault.” You quickly respond.

More weight lifted off her shoulders, but not enough. “You aren’t..gonna convince me to stay?” She was still shocked, wondering why you wouldn’t beg for her back…beg desperately for mercy.

“No..” boy do you wish you hadn’t responded like that, but you were hurt and shocked still. More than likely stuck like that forever if she doesn’t fix the situation.

Cairo’s eyes widen, lips parted. “R-really? You aren’t even gonna…try?”

“I’ve done this before,” “you have?”

You have indeed. Your last break up happened similar, they said you weren’t good enough..made up an excuse to break up and you tried begging for them back. But they didn’t give you any reason and without word, left you.

“Yes, my first relationship. The break up ended the same way, and I tried begging for them back…but they left without a word.”

She blinks, guilt rising up in her. She should’ve known this had happened to you, and why did she not know? She doesn’t know.

“I-I’m sorry.” “Stop saying sorry…”

Because you aren’t, is what you wanted to end the sentence with.

Cairo frowns. She didn’t even realize she was responding with a ‘sorry’ every time she spoke. She sighs, “I’m just..I feel awful about this, I should’ve handled things better.”

“It’s fine. If you think without me is better…it’s fine.”

It isn’t fine

She’s hurt, hurt you aren’t trying for her back. She’s sighs and shakes her head,

“you’re too …..good for me.” “That’s what everybody says.”

Cairo seems even more surprised at your response. She didn't know that people had told you that, but she feels like it's true and it stings her a little. She clears her throat. "I- really?" she asks in a shaky voice.

You nod. Cairo nods, as she looks down again. The truth is that she thinks it's true, too. She knows she's not ready for a relationship, especially with someone like you. It was better for her to let you go, especially if she thinks you… can do better. She sighs as she feels the guilt of her decision rise up again.

“Well, they aren’t wrong.”

Well ouch.

“Ouch.”

Cairo freezes, as she looks straight back at you, her eyes full of tears. That... yeah, that hurt you. That response didn't help her with her guilt at all. She feels like the ground opens up under her feet at the unexpected words.

“Ouch?” She asks.

You sighed, not wanting to explain why it hurt. “Just go.”

Cairo is taken aback by how harsh you are, and her face quickly turns into a frown. She feels like the wind has been knocked out of her, and her breath catches in her throat.

Just... just go? She can't believe this... after all this time they spent together, this is all it took for her to say that so harshly...Even if she was pushing you away first, she doesn’t feel wanted anymore.

“If you think you’re better without me, then just go.” You didn’t want to push her away, but you were.

“Who said I’m better without you?” “You did! You said you’d be better without being in a relationship..and that we weren’t cut out,”

You cried, defending yourself. She grits her teeth, “and…and you took that as I think I’m better without you?”

“Then what?” You crossed your arms, fed up.

Cairo sighs deeply as she looks away. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't want to make her think that was what she meant. But she feels angry and hurt by her reaction to her words.

“…I said I think I am not ready to be with someone, I never said that I think I can do better without you...”

You sigh. “Then what do you want?”

She doesn’t think before she says, “maybe I would be better without you!”

You shake your head, crying more than before. “Just go..go.”

Cairo swallows deeply as she sees the harshness in her face. She sighs, as she looks down, finally accepting that there is no point in staying. There was no point in fighting back.

“…right.” she says after a few moments, and takes a deep breath. She turns around, starting to take steps away from you, her chest feeling heavy as she does so.

It started raining after, and you watched her leave the garden terrace. Leave you.

Now, all there was..is broken glass

Your fragile heart, shattered

~~~~~~~~~~~

Oops

Mb

Y’all want a part two?

And I’m working on a continuation of ‘Lonely in her Mansion’ I just suck at smut so bare with me 😭

[gloryofroses19]

More Than You Know

Nursing her glass of Coca-Cola, [y/n] watched Major John Egan from across the social club. Though she wasn’t privy to the conversation, which had interrupted their time together, she certainly didn’t mind the view. His broad back was on full display as he spoke with a fresh faced corporal. Their evening had been going swell. As per usual, he cleaned up nicely even with the fresh marks of a flight mission. His curls falling into their rightful place and allowing her the pleasure of fixing the few that didn’t. 

Seemingly sharing the same thought as her, John ran a hand through his obsidian curls as he rejoined [y/n] at the bar. “Sorry about that. Now where were we ....” Sipping his drink, he narrowed his eyes. “Right, we were talking about me.” 

[y/n] rolled her eyes at his expectant look and boyish smile. “You’re insufferable.” 

“That doesn’t sound like a compliment” John started before moving closer to [y/n] and dropping his voice. “And I was promised a compliment after every mission.” 

She had promised an admission after every mission and Bucky Egan would be damned if he missed a single opportunity to hear why she liked him.  

Pulling him closer, she rests her hands on his chest and meets his awaiting gaze. “Compliment was not the word that I used. For all you know, maybe I like you because you’re bad at singing.” She has promised to bare her heart but she never said she would hand over that information easily. 

With a deep chuckle, John placed his hands on the curve of her waist. With every word uttered, he begins to sway them to the beat. “Where you say bad, I hear, committed, passionate, soulful even.” 

“Oh, you’re definitely committed. That bar in Greenland has the scars from it.” She responded dryly, following his lead. Drawing closer, she placed her head against his chest. 

“Buck told you about that, did he?” His deep voice rumbled pleasantly in her ear. 

“More like Crank.” 

Clicking his tongue, he shook his head. “Good ole’ Crank, always looking for a reason to knock a man.” 

[y/n] silently chuckled as her eyes scanned the social club. When her eyes fell on the corporeal from earlier, she noticed that he seemed more at ease than he had when he interrupted them. That was the magic of John Egan she supposed. Always willing to use his sturdy shoulders to help his fellow man.  “Everything okay with the kid?”

“Don’t think you can get out of this by changing topics, Lieutenant.” He replied, intertwining their fingers.“And yes, just helped make sure his mom got a letter. His pops just died so he’s worried about her.” 

“You’re like Atlas” [y/n] stated earnestly. She had promised him a reason, she just didn’t intend to have it slip out as she shocked herself with her realization of the depth of her feelings.  

“Hm?” Titling his head in confusion, the pilot was met with a look of admiration in [y/n]’s eyes. She had promised him a reason for her affection, however, he failed to understand how a Greek myth related to him. 

“My reason. Well, one of my reasons for liking you.” She amended before going on to explain further.  “You’re always kind, always caring for those around you. Even amongst the carnage, you take care of your men. You make sure those around you are okay, happy even when you can and don’t ask for anything in return. It’s admirable John Egan.”  

His face was wholly unguarded.  He didn’t think it was a big deal to help the kid out. All it required of him was to ask a favor of one of the Captains in the mail transportation unit. And yet, his heart rate picked up at the mere mention of the favor that he did. He supposed it was because of her, she had a way of always seeing him for who he was. 

“I’m going to kiss you now.” He decides, choosing to end the back and forth they’ve been playing to protect their hearts. It was too late for that. Every flyboy needs a place to perch and nest and she was it for him. 

“Please do.” 

A shiver ran down his back as he closed the gap between their mouths, first with the utmost gentleness, as he wanted to savor this. This had been months in the making as a nest wasn’t built in a day. A warmth spread in John’s chest as [y/n] leaned in closer, her lips impossibly soft against his own. Then as her lips parted and she combed her fingers through those curls, the kiss became heated. 

However, a crash of glasses on the bar pulled their attention and bodies from each other. “I drew the shit end of the stick,” Standing behind the bar, Curt gestured toward the corporal, “from the new kid”.  

The couple stared at the pair of glasses full of whiskey placed before them. 

“Why are you behind the bar, Curt?” John asked in a dissatisfied tone for the interruption. He had allowed the first interruption of their time with mild annoyance, but the second time certainly wasn't the charm. 

“I am a man of many talents,” Placing a hand on his chest, Curt offered Bucky a deceptively humble look. “And one of those talents is keeping poor bartenders from being traumatized by you twos sucking face.” 

“Get me a drink then bartender Biddick.” Plastering a fake smile on his face, John stared menacingly at Curt. .

“No can do Major, you already have a drink.” Curt replied unbothered, knowing how much he was getting under the Majors skin. 

Placing a kiss on the top of his favorite lieutenant's head, John turned towards his current least favorite lieutenant “I’m not giving a tip for service like this.”

“Now Major, that isn’t right. After I slaved over picking up the drinks and placing them there, you gotta give me something.” 

Curt truly was a youngest child, [y/n] thought as she leaned her weight against John. Deciding to join in on the fun, she put her hands on his lapels. 

“I’ll give you a tip alright…” John muttered before his attention shifted to [y/n]. 

“Where’s my souvenir, Major?” She asked innocently, peering up at him from underneath her lashes. She smiled, enjoying watching him try to catch up. 

“What? My presence isn’t enough?” Squeezing her waist, he watched an unimpressed look cross her face. “It’s in my billet!” Tracing her jaw with his finger tips, John hoped to distract [y/n] as he declared his innocence.

“Sure, John.” She laughed unconvinced, turning towards the bar. 

“Sounds like you’re lying to me, Major.” Curt agreed sipping on John’s free whiskey.

“Give me that!” Grabbing the glass out of the New Yorker’s hand, John asks him. “Who’s side are you on anyway?”

“Not yours, I’ve seen her right hook.” 

Sparing him a glance, [y/n] pushed a curl away from his forehead. Enjoying the gentle brush of her fingers against his forehead, he was sure he had convinced her. But his hope was dashed at the teasing smile across her lips. “Sure, John.” 

“I swear, doll! You can ask Buck!”

A/N: The title is from an Ella Fitzgerald song. Feedback is always appreciated!

Unofficial official sequel to Fly Me To the Moon

[avatarmerida]

A Blight By Any Other Name

I posted a preview for this awhile ago but I've been busy and whatver so here it is! It's a slight AU I guess but I'm mostly here for vibes not for explanations. If you see any errors no you didn't!

----

“Willow please!”

“Amity, I don’t know, it’s risky isn’t it?”

“There’s no way anyone would ever find out!”

“If that’s true then why don’t you just skip it or send an illusion?”

“I just need it to go well enough so my mom will stop bugging me and I’ll never have to do it again,” said Amity. “I’m just no good at these kinds of things and I’m worried I’ll mess it up so much that she’ll make me try again or send me to courtesy lessons with the twins.”

It was the envy of every parent who hoped to gloat about their child. Once a week for a month, the head of the Emperor’s coven would see a hopeful recruit and mentor them. It was a chance to impress them as well as learn from them. There were months that went by with no worthy adversary appearing as you needed to be the best, the boldest and the brightest.

Being rich didn’t hurt your chances either. 

“Why is your mom sending you anyway? Why can’t she send one of the twins?”

“She knows they won’t take it seriously,” Amity groaned. “She wants to make a good impression and she thinks it’ll help my chances of getting into the Emperor’s Coven. But all my antidotes were formed around impressing Miss Lillith, I don’t have time to research the charm the golden guard prefers.”

“And I do?”

“You’re just naturally likeable!” Amity declared. “It will give me time to prepare. Just pretend to be me and make me seem calm and friendly.”

“And what happens if he doesn’t like me or asks me something only you could ever answer?”

“The first visit is always a tour of the grounds, which I’ve studied enough to know anyway,” said Amity. “Just nod and smile and it will be fine! I just… I can’t…”

Willow saw through her instantly. “You have plans with Luz tonight, don’t you?”

“What? No, n-not like ‘official’ plans or anything like that but she mentioned she was doing something and it seemed intentional and so I thought maybe we would-.”

“It’s okay Amy, I get it,” said Willow with a smile. She was adjusting to having Amity back in her life and whatever was happening between her newest and oldest friend might not have been her favorite thing at first but it was growing on her. And who was she to stand between two dorks with crushes? “I’ll go for you.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she said. 

“Perfect! I’ll grab the concealment stone for you!” Said Amity as she wrapped her friend in a hug. “Oh, thank you Willow! I owe you big time!”

“Yeah I know,” said Willow with a sigh as she returned the hug. “I know.”

———

The plan was simple: Willow would take a concealment stone and go to the meeting as Amity and secure a good first impression. According to Amity’s research, she probably wouldn’t even need to talk (Willow didn’t know if that meant ‘have the opportunity to’ or ‘be allowed to’ but was too nervous to ask) and by the time they had walked the grounds, the appointment would be over. She had endured worse.

The Golden Guard greeted her at the gate, if you could call it that. He didn’t technically say hello or ask how or who she was or offer any information about himself. He just gave her a nod and told her to follow him.He  spoke only when necessary, and when he did his tone was harsh and condescending. Willow couldn’t help but feel it felt forced. He gave instructions as though it came as naturally as breathing, sounding as though he was both tired and proud of showing her around. She walked three steps behind him, just as he told her to, and nodded and showed faint signs of understanding, just as Amity had told her. It was plain and awkward and everything Amity had said it would be.

The first visit was meant to be nothing more than a mostly silent and distant tour of the grounds,but once they got to the garden, Willow couldn’t help herself.

“Woah! Is that a Phantom orchid?!” She exclaimed, trailing back to get a closer look. 

“Hmm? Oh yeah it is,” he said, stopping to allow her to observe. Usually when someone interrupted him, it was a coven head telling him to shut up or mocking him or dismissing the fact he was speaking at all. But this girl wasn’t ignoring him, she was including him in her excitement, so he allowed himself to allow it.

“And it’s blooming already?” she continued, getting as close as she could. “How did that happen? The full moon isn’t for a few more days!”

“Oh, well Terra figured out that if you add moon dust to the water it will naturally convert the sunlight into the needed chemical to bloom.”

“The water, of course!” Willow said, laughing as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Why didn’t I think of that? It helps the pigment coloration too! Ah! It’s so pretty! Look at the lateral sepal and the dorsal sepal! They’re much bigger than average, it must be cross pollinated to have a wide enough stem to support that.”

He watched as she continued to chatter about the details of the flower, seeing things within things and connecting it to flowers in her own garden. She was vibrant and excited and loud, uncaring if she got dirt stains on her uniform as she got closer to the plant. It was extremely unprofessional.

“You know a surprising amount about plants for someone on the abomination track.” He observed as he knelt down beside her.

“Well, between you and me I’m not really the best at abominations.” Willow replied without really thinking, too enamored by the details of the flower before her to monitor her filter. 

“Oh, well that was surprisingly… honest.” He marveled. 

Oh shoot, Amity probably didn’t want a rumor that she didn’t excel at the abomination track getting back to the Emperor.

“I-I just mean you know in all my studies I-I have sooo many studies!” Willow sputtered. “When I said ‘I’m not the best’ I mean more like uh… like uh…”

“Oh, no I didn’t mean anything by it! No, it’s just that… in other afternoon arrangements I’ve had they always try to talk themselves up, they’d never admit to not doing well at something.” He cleared his throat, uncertain why he cared about offering her peace of mind in her confession.”It’s… refreshing. I feel like you’re the first person I’m actually getting to know.”

Willow smiled. “Well alright then, your turn,” she said, standing back up brushing the lingering dirt off her knees. “Tell me something you don’t like.”

“Wild witches,” he responded instantly, low and dramatic.

“O-kay,” Willow said nervously. “Maaaybe switch gears then, what’s something you like?”

“Catching wild witches.”

“No,” she giggled, shaking her head. “That’s your job, but what’s something you do that’s just for you? Like, a hobby or something you do for fun?”

“I like… to read?” He said after a moment, too embarrassed to tell her he had no time for fun. None of the questions he had gotten had ever been so… genuine. 

“Okay, that’s a start,” she said with a smile. “What do you like to read about?”

He went to answer and she quickly cut him off to say: “And don’t say ‘about how to catch wild witches.’”

“Fine,” he said, cracking a smile she could hear. “I like… reading books about adventures, and history, and the human realm.”

“Ooh, my best friend is a big fan of the human realm,” said Willow enthusiastically. She decided it was best to not mention Luz, lest his line of questions shift back to the wild witch she was known to be staying with. “We found a book about human gardening at the market once and the lack of carnivorous plants over there is very surprising.”

“Yes! Exactly, okay I’ve said that exact thing before!” He replied excitedly, elated to hear his thoughts echoed. “I think it’s because the rain doesn’t boil over there and it makes their foliage more docile.”

“Oh yeah! That’s a good point!” Willow said as their excitement connected. 

“And not to mention the psshahshshlssh.”

“Oh sorry, I didn't catch that.”

“I was just saying how the flowers here aren’t as deedsmdnns.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Willow asked again, his sentiment lost behind his mask.

“Oh sorry, here lemme just-.” He realized the issue and went to swiftly remove the mask, and when he did Willow couldn’t hear a word he said, only her own thoughts echoing behind her wide eyes.

Oh boy. 

He really was just a boy.

And boy he was-

“Hot,” voiced Willow without thinking.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” He asked, moving his hand through his hair, letting a lock spin in front of his face as the rest aired out like a soft halo.

“Er I just mean it must get really hot under that mask,” Willow recovered, the guard none the wiser. 

“Um yeah sometimes I guess,” his voice clear and unmuffled making him seem more real somehow. “It’s just for protection and authority and whatever,” he said with a shrug, as though he was explaining why he wore any other mundane accessory. “My uncle requires that I wear it most of the time.”

“It’s a shame cause you really do have a nice face.”

“Oh uh thank you?” He said, averting his gaze to the ground. If anyone else had said it, he’d roll his eyes knowing it was sarcasm or was about to be followed by some nasty comment. But when this girl said it, he somehow knew it was sincere. He dared to hope she wasn’t just saying it to be polite. 

He wanted to tell her she did too. 

But instead he asked:

“What other flowers do you have in your garden?”

——

He let her talk about plants for hours. 

Her friends loved hearing her talk about them, of course, but there was something different about the way the guard listened. He hung on her words like she had invented them, but his contribution proved that he was just as well versed in certain aspects as she was. The tiny, mundane details that often caused other people to get lost were equally beloved by the pair. He just loved knowing things Willow quickly learned, and when she said something he hadn’t known before he treated it like it was a revelation and looked for a way to take notes. And when he talked, oh Titan, there was such a fire in his eyes. Willow loved how he talked with his hands as though he was laying out illustrations that only they could see, even more enchanting than an illusion. When he had been talking longer than he was usually able to, he apologized but Willow insisted he continue. 

They had hardly realized any time had passed until they heard Darius call for him, and Willow pulled out her scroll to check the time. They had gone way over the allotted hour. 

“Wow, time really flies I guess,” Willow chuckled, hoping she hadn’t kept him from anything important.

“Yeah,” the guard said, unable to hide the tone of disappointment in his voice as he tried to keep it hidden from his face. He put his mask back on. “I’ll uh, walk you out then.”

When they arrived at the gate, a familiar silence danced between them. But this time it fought, as though being crushed by all the things they had not gotten to yet. She turned on her heel and bashfully offered him her hand, trying to safe face (or, rather, Amity’s face).

“Well, it was very nice to meet you-.”

“Hunter,” he said quickly, as though he was unsure it was proper to say.

“What?”

“That’s my name, Hunter,” he said. “You can call me that, if you like. It’s a bit less formal.”

“Is that what all your friends call you?”

“I guess? They would if I did, I mean. Have friends, that is.”

“Well then I’d be happy to call you Hunter,” said Willow. “And you can call me…” Woah, she had almost let it slip. She technically hasn’t introduced herself, she hadn't needed to, but she wanted to return the favor. But in what world was Willow a nickname for Amity? “Clover.”

“Clover?”

“Yeah it’s uh a nickname,” she said with a nervous laugh. “Everyone calls me that.”

“Oh, like a lucky clover.”

“Exactly,” she said in an airy voice she had never used but he had inspired her twice in one afternoon. She’d think of a believable explanation to give Amity later. 

“Well I felt very lucky to meet you,” he said bashfully, feeling as though he was trying to add something more within the compliment. He could tell she sensed it as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He felt a little stupid but somehow not in a bad way?

“Me too,” she said softly. “I had fun.”

“Surprisingly I also really enjoyed myself,” he admitted in disbelief. “You’re very nice company, Ms. Blight.”

“You know, you’re not so bad yourself,” she said with a smile. That’s something Amity would say, right? She couldn’t place exactly when the shift had happened but at some point she had forgotten she was supposed to be pretending to tolerate him as she found herself genuinely enjoying herself. 

He cleared his throat, kicking at the dirt as he fought against shyness. “Would you want to do this again? I mean, sooner than the weekly arrangement, that is.” He made sure to clarify. “I can plan something outside the castle, maybe show you where Terra has some of her rarer species.”

“Oh, I-I l’d really like that actually,” Willow couldn’t help but say. But that would complicate things even more in many ways. She was supposed to be getting Amity out of this and yet she was committing to more time with him. Plus how could she justify Amity being in two places at once? 

“It’s just… I’m…” but she could hardly say that was the reason so what reason could she give that wouldn’t leave him hurt or suspicious?

He sensed her hesitation. “Oh yeah I mean you’re probably busy, I’m probably busy too anyway.” 

“Yeah, and I know how strict your uncle can be and well you know how my mom is.”

“Yeah, I… sure do,” he said in a way that only someone who knew Odalia Blight but didn’t want to possibly offend her daughter would. “So, is that why you dyed your hair? I heard she prefers it all green like hers.”

“Oh yeah,” she chuckled, knowing Amity’s most comfortable level of rebellion was letting her roots show. 

“I mean, I think it would be lovely on you,” said Hunter shyly. “Green suits you; especially the green of your eyes.”

“Green of my-.” Amity’s eyes were brown and not a brown that would be mistaken for green even in a dim light. 

“And I also think they look lovely with the gold frame of your glasses,” Hunter quickly added, dipping his toes into a more detailed compliment. “Your whole face really is uh… very pleasant. Nothing like Odalia. Not that I’m calling your mother ugly! That’s no, I just meant because I know how you feel about her that I can see you as your own person and that you have features that are unique and that look very…”

As Hunter continued to ramble, Willow caught sight of herself in the reflection of a window. She wore the abomination uniform but it was not Amity’s face that looked back at her now. Her eyes darted to her neck and widened when they saw she had forgotten the concealment stone. 

Her face, her body, her voice had been hers from the beginning. The only thing Hunter didn’t know about her was her name.

“… I guess what I’m trying to say is you’re very beautiful and I enjoy spending time with you,” he managed to get to the point, his tone indicating he realized it as he was saying it. “Not that I wouldn’t if you weren’t but I guess…” he trailed off again and sighed as Willow’s heart caught up to her mind realizing his words were truly for her, as her. 

“You’re just… not what I was expecting,” said Hunter. “And I’m sorry if I didn’t give you the best first impression.”

Her throat felt tight. She hadn’t intended to trick him, not like this. For some reason doing it in her own skin made the lie more hurtful. As spot on as her Amity impression could be, she hadn’t wanted to do the wrong thing and so stuck to what she knew. He just made it easy for her to be herself. He laughed at her jokes and listened to her and looked at her so softly and so attentively and so…and for him to say such nice things… it felt odd but she desperately wanted him to know everything but her name. 

“Well, in my opinion first impressions aren’t always all they’re cracked up to be,” she said. “But I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.”

——-

“Amity please,” Willow said, her voice determined to let her know this was not a request to be taken lightly. “In all the years I’ve known you, can you honestly say there was even a single time that I was not a good friend to you?”

“No,” Amity could not even pretend to search for ammo. “But why do you want to go back so badly? Was it the garden?”

“Well, it’s not just the garden,” Willow admitted sheepishly. “The Golden Guard isn’t as scary as everyone makes him out to be, ya know? We had a really good time and I just wanna see him again.”

“Really?” Amity asked with a raise of her eyebrow. When she arrived to download with Willow, she had expected to have much to apologize and make up for. She would never have guessed that her friend would want to take her place again. “Are you sure there’s not something else going on?”

“Well I also maaaaay have forgotten to wear the concealment stone so he thinks you look like me,” Willow added quickly as though it was a minor setback. 

“Willow!”

“It’ll be okay though! I’ll think of something to fix it! I’ll make sure you still get credit or ya know maybe we can convince him there’s two girls with the same name and it was like some kind of mix up.”

“You really think that’ll work?”

“No he’s really smart,” Willow admitted, both in awe and disappointment of the truth. “But not just about coven stuff, he knows so many little random facts. We just talked for hours about plants and books and stuff but it felt like only minutes had gone by.”

“I know how that feels,” said Amity, a blush creeping into her face as she remembered her heart flipping when she and Luz had first discussed Azura and all the tangents they went on. How everything flowed so easy, like they were in a bubble. 

Amity knew what everyone said about the Golden Guard, that he was cold and strict and stuck up. Whispers in the hallways had said the same thing about her, but she knew why. Maybe he needed a friend like Willow for his true colors to show. “Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

—-

So she went back the following week and when she entered the gates it was like they picked up right where they left off. Amity had sent her with an itinerary and talking points but all business left her mind when he entered her view. She saw the tenseness leave his shoulders and his stance become relaxed when she smiled at him. Now that she knew he was seeing her, her heart couldn’t help but flutter a little bit.

“You came back,” he said, unable to hide the fact that he was slightly stunned.

“I did,” she replied. “Is that… okay?”

“Yes, yes of course,” he said. “I’m just… not used to having people happy to see me who know me.”

“Well then, they must know you very well then, huh?”

There was hardly a moment of silence between them. Years of not being able to speak freely if anything frivolous poured out of him once she entered his sights. He collected jokes and anecdotes like inventory, counting the minutes until she was back at the gate greeting him with a wide smile no one else had ever held for him.  He had considered that their unlikely connection was part of a strategy, but the more she shared about herself quickly put that theory to rest. She didn’t have enough intel on him for blackmail and didn’t do enough to talk herself up to make him feel she was aiming for favoritism. It was almost like she didn’t care about the coven at all, she treated it like an afterthought when it came up. Their shared obligation had brought them together but what kept them coming back together was more than Hunter fully understood. He just knew that once a week he could breathe.

There were some close calls (like referring to herself as an only child once) but luckily Willow knew Amity well enough that she could quickly recover any slip ups.It actually made it easier for her to visit on the days they weren’t technically meant to. Amity was a known sucker for extra credit, so of course she’d insist on more time with the coven head who was meant to be mentoring her. Though she did not say much when their time consisted of less mentoring and more of overly competitive games of capture the flag and listing fun facts at each other. 

He asked her why she was on the abomination track when she so clearly was suited for the plant track and she said her father thought it was best for her, which was both in character and not a lie.

When they would get off on a tangent that he could not relate to official coven business, she smoothed it out by claiming the fact that they were meeting under the arrangement of her mother and the emperor made whatever they ended up doing official coven business. So he enjoyed her company without guilt, which allowed him to feel the new, confusing nerves all the more. 

Despite the purpose of the arrangement being to help see if she would be a worthy addition to the coven, she never once asked about it. She asked about him plenty, but it was almost as though she had forgotten she was there on business.

---

A few weeks into the arrangement, Hunter was pacing at the gate waiting for his guest. It wasn’t like her to be late, in fact she usually came early so they’d have more time together. Every other candidate had reached a point when they stopped coming back, his drills were too much or his voice too annoying, or sometimes they neglected to give  a reason all together. Granted this round had been different, he couldn’t deny he hadn’t been following usual protocol or checklist, but he felt that they both believed it was different in the best way. He had never been nervous like this before, he was nervous every day they were to meet. But it was a good nervous, he didn’t know how else to explain it. 

His heart leapt when he finally saw her land on her palisman. He straightened his spine and ran his hand through his hair as she walked to the gate, lacking her usual pep.

“Hi, sorry I’m late,” Willow said forlorn, trudging in.

“It’s fine, I totally wasn’t worried you weren’t coming or anything,” said Hunter nervously, barely hiding the truth within. His face became serious as he noticed the disdain did not leave her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she sighed, trying to force a smile. “This girl at school is just out to get me. Whenever she sees me she finds something to make fun of, and normally I can ignore it because I know she just wants a reaction out of me but I woke up already not feeling great and I dunno I guess it just got to me today.”

“What kind of things does she say?”

“That’s the worst part too, like the things she says aren’t even true or clever but she just keeps saying them,” Willow sighed. “Like she needs me to know how much she believes I’m a loser and that I’ll always be weak. It’s like she needs to make sure there’s someone worse off than her otherwise she can’t feel good about herself.”

“I’m surprised anyone would even try to mess with you, you know considering your status.”

“Oh yeah, as a Blight.”

“Oh well yeah but I mean just because of your ability in general,” said Hunter. “You’re a very powerful witch.”

“Me?”

“Yeah,” he said with confidence. Willow knew he must be fully informed of Amity’s academic strides to have secured her time with him, the Blights had a reputation in every aspect a person could. “I mean, it took Terra weeks to figure out how to get that seed to sprout and when I gave it to you you did it in minutes.”

“I didn’t even do anything really, I just held it to my heart because I was so excited. I just got lucky.”

“Yes but your first instinct was to be kind to it, Terra would never try something like that,” said Hunter. “Your magic comes from a genuine, caring place. It’s not for show or power and that’s what I think makes it so strong.”

Willow just stared at him.

“What? Did I say something weird? Is there something on my face? Why are you-.”

She wrapped him in a hug.

“You didn’t say anything weird,” said Willow. “It was just what I needed to hear. It was so sweet, thank you Hunter.”

“Yeah well I-if you what I can make that girl spend a night in the dungeon,” said Hunter, still unsure how to respond to her genuine words sometimes. His arms were pinned at his sides as she rested the side of her face on his chest. He didn’t know what to say but he didn’t want her to think him not talking meant he wanted her to let go.He didn’t know what this was but he knew he didn’t hate it. “We’ll see if she tries to mess with you again after that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she giggled, looking up at him. “But you know what would really make me feel better?”

“What?”

“Watching you try your first slice of fairy pie!”

He gasped. “No way!”

She giggled at his expression as she released him to skip over to her bag. “I told you my dad makes the best so I saved you some from my lunch!” She rushed back over to him with the carefully packaged slice she had perfectly crafted for him. Hunter took it and eyed it skeptically.

“Alador made this?” 

“No, he- er yeah I know right?” Willow gave the best nonanswer she could. 

“And there’s no like… abomination goo in it?” he asked, only half joking as he looked it over. 

“No I promise; I helped make this batch myself.

“Well it smells and looks really amazing,” Hunter said, feeling his mouth start to water. “But I can’t take this from you. Besides, I have my own piece of bread that I shouldn’t let go to waste.”

He went to fetch it from the table: the stale, pale slice of bread he had every encounter, the emperor’s idea of a snack. If you asked Willow, it shouldn’t be any person’s idea of edible.

“Well how about we swap then?” Willow offered. “My friends and I do it all the time! Try something new. You have the cake and I’ll take your bread so it doesn’t go to waste.”

“Are you sure? It hardly seems like a fair trade to yo-,” before Hunter could finish objecting, Willow snatched the bread from his hands and licked it.

”Now you have no choice.” She said plainly. 

He was stunned and flustered and embarrassed all at once. He never knew how to explain the things she did or how he felt about them. He knew she didn’t care about impressing him, yet she did it without trying. She didn’t care how it made her look. She wasn’t trying to bribe him. She did nice things for him because they would help him, there was no favors or ulterior motives lurking within her actions.

She placed the cake in his hands, making it clear she would hear no more on the matter.

The cake was everything she said it was, which meant it was everything his normal snack wasn’t. This was rich and vibrant and sharp and sweet in a way Hunter didn’t know was possible. He both wanted to savor it and devour it as quickly as possible. Willow’s reaction was less entrancing, as she tried to fake a smile as she marveled at how something could taste sour and salty and somehow flavorless at the same time.

When she managed to stomach it, she turned to see his reaction and was surprised to see him looking despondent despite the extra frosting she had added to the treat that she had been sure would delight him.

“What’s wrong? Does it taste okay?”

“No, I mean yes I mean it’s just… you had a bad day and you still came to see me,” Hunter said.

“Yeah, I mean I had a feeling I’d be late but-.”

“No it’s not about that, it's just… well. it would be a perfectly valid reason to not come by,” said Hunter. “If you weren’t feeling up to it or something, it would be understandable. But then when you did, you end up making me feel better.”

“Yeah?”

“Why?”

“That’s what being friends is,” she said simply, trying not to smile too wide at the stray bit of frosting that was smudged on the side of his mouth.

“We’re friends?”

“Yeah,” she said, trying in vain to bite into the stale loaf. “What else would we be?”

“Well I … I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. He wanted to ask what other things they could be. “I guess I’m just… glad to hear you say it.”

“Well then,” she said with a smile, scotting a bit closer to him to wipe the rogue bit of frosting from his cheek. “I’ll be sure to say it more often.”

“Cool,” he said, breaking off a piece of the pie to hand to her,she accepted if for no other reason than she needed the stale and somehow sour aftertaste from her mouth. She would definitely be bringing him more suitable treats going forward. 

“And besides,” she said with a smile. “Seeing you made me feel better too.”

----

On the off chance it should ever come up, Willow and Amity also met weekly to go over the meetings, Willow filling her in on any talking points that Darius might mention or Odalia might ask about. Of course, Willow did not tell Amity everything that went on at their encounters, she certainly kept the fluttering feeling in her chest to herself and the growing collection of heart doodles in her notebooks didn’t seem to come up. Willow just guaranteed that she was doing the Blight name justice and that her mother would be pleased with the report that may find its way back to her. She wasn’t sure how Hunter reported things, wondering if there were any portions he also kept to himself.

“... and then he mentioned the trial exams and “

“And what else did he say about those? Did he give you any clue about the new format?”

“Uh, maybe?” said Willow with a shrug. “Then I showed him a cute picture of Clover and he showed me a trick that he and his palisman have been practicing where he spins and then they both-.”

“Wait, he has a palisman?”

“Oh, shoot!” exclaimed Willow, sitting back up. “You can’t tell anyone! It’s a secret, oh but he’s so cute! Him and Clover get along so well. Oh my titan, I took the cutest picture of them playing when Hunter was telling us about-.”

“Hunter? Who is Hunter?”

“Oh,uh the er golden guard,” Willow said, feeling shy for some reason. “That’s his name. Is that a secret too?”

“I’m not sure,” Amity said. “But I guess it’s just surprising he lets you call him that. But I guess that means the meetings really have been going well huh?”

“Yeah,” Willow sighed, admitting a photo she had taken of Hunter and Flapjack when he wasn’t looking. The bird was looking up at him with so much love and happiness and Hunter gently stroked under his chin, smiling as the sun framed the scene. His jawline was sharp and his eyes were soft, he looked so content and comfortable and cute and- she was starting to suspect this was not a platonic way to look at a photo for five minutes straight as she totally forgot Amity was talking to her.

“...but it’s not like it’s guaranteed or anything, I mean I’m sure he would’ve mentioned it to you by now but we have a few years before it’s an issue and by then my mom might have dropped it, I mean Miss Lilith said I was on track to join the coven but that might not even be something I want by then and-.”

“What? Oh my titan Amity I’m so sorry I… I wasn’t paying attention.”

Amity rolled her eyes endearingly and laughed. “No worries, I was just saying how my mom was excited when she found out the Golden guard had taken over the coven because she thinks she can talk the emperor into an arrangement.”

“Like what kind of arrangement?” Willow asked, scrolling through her collection of photos as she sipped her drink.

“Like one like she and my dad have I think,” said Amty, wrinkling her nose. “A business marriage to try and get me ahead but like that wouldn’t guarantee anything and besides it would be totally-.”

She was cut off by Willow nearly choking to death.

“Hey, woah!” she patted her friend’s back as she caught her breath. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said after she managed to catch her breath. “I… um…Amity, are these meetings supposed to be like a… courtship?”

“Um I guess but my mom knows that I-.”

“Does Hunt- I mean, the golden guard, does he know?”

“Um maybe? I'm sure my mom isn’t the first person to try it, I mean it’s like the oldest trick in the book.”

“Amity, why didn’t you tell me I was basically going on dates with him this whole time?”

“Because my mom is always thinking of something new to get ahead and it never works out the way she- wait, why does that matter?”

“Because what if he thinks that I think we've basically been going on dates that I don’t actually like him I’m just trying to jump ahead into the coven and- why are you looking at me like that?”

Amity offered her a knowing glare before the dots connected and she pointed her finger at her friend and declared dramatically. “You like him!”

“What?!”

“You do! You like him!”

“I- maybe? I might? Kind of?” Willow knew she couldn’t deny it, she also kind of didn’t want to. “I mean sure, we have a lot in common and he’s really smart and funny and then I found out he was cute and I guess I just-.”

“Wait, cute? You saw his face?”

“Yeah, is that a big deal?”

“Well I don’t think he wears the mask because he wants everyone knowing what he looks like,” said Amity. “He must trust you.”

“Great,” groaned Willow, flopping onto the bed. “He trusts me and I’ve been lying to him since the moment we met.” Her voice was muffled by her pillow. Amity sighed and went to pat her back to reassure her but hesitated, not as skilled at comforting others as she wished she was. She cleared her throat and tried to offer a positive thought, but thankfully Willow cut her off as she continued to voice her thoughts.

“The ironic part is I really do feel like myself around him,” she sighed, rolling over to be heard better as she hugged the pillow to her chest. “But if I tell him now he might not believe me or he’ll be upset and then you’ll get in trouble on top of it!”

“I shouldn’t have  put you in this position in the first place,” said Amity solemnly.. 

“I’m honestly kind of glad you did,” Willow admitted bashfully. “I… I really do like him.”

“Well as… unorthodox as your meeting was, I’m happy for you,” said Amity. “I’m sure he likes you too.”

Willow couldn’t help but blush, feeling giddy to finally be open about her crush. She had missed talking crushes with Amity.

“Which probably isn’t ideal since he thinks you’re me, huh?”

“Yeah that’s… probably not great.”

“I mean, he may think you’re a Blight but he knows inside you’re a Park,” Amity offered proudly. Willow simply offered her a look. 

“Was that too much?” Amity winced.

“It was a little cheesy,” Willow admitted with a chuckle. “But you’re right. I care about him and  don’t want to hurt him. So I think I know what I have to do.”

Amity could tell that knowing the right thing to do also meant Willow wouldn’t enjoy doing it.

—-

Willow did not go back the next week.

Or the week after that.

She couldn't help but feel like doing so was leading him on. Even though she knew she felt… a certain way about him,there was no scenario she could think of that didn’t end with him feeling heartbroken or foolish. The Blights were known to be busy, she hoped he’d assume she’d been held up with school or other obligations.

But instead, he broke his own heart because she was too polite to do it.

Which is how he found himself at the Blights’ door.

He waited patiently as the abomination servant fetched Odalia, who greeted him with a smile that lacked sincerity and brought to mind a vampire. How had such a cold place brought forth such a warm person?

There was no turning back now, he would not be scared off by the unfortunate circumstance of her upbringing. Hunter removed his mask knowing it naturally lent authority to his tone and he wanted to assure that this came not as a demand or something official but a personal request from the heart. He had rehearsed it in the mirror for hours, imagined and planned different scenarios of varying grandness but he didn’t want it confused for a spectacle.

“Mrs. Blight, I’ve come here to ask for your blessing,” he said, certain and nervous in a way that made the contraction feel welcoming.

“Blessing? Blessing for what, exactly?”

He took a deep breath to better brace himself and his heavy eyes were serious and sincere as the words entered the world outside his bedroom for the first time.

“I believe I am in love with your daughter.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” she replied with a smug gleam in her eye. “The Blights shine so brightly, of course the emperor’s right hand man can see that clearly. Allow me to fetch her.”

Hunter straightened his spine as Odalia touched her broach and in a moment, Emira appeared beside her.

“Oh, uh I-I’m sorry I meant your other daughter,”

“Oh,” said Odalia. “Heh, my apologies.” She touched her broach and Amity came trudging in beside her sister, trying to keep her composure when she discovered the reason why.

“Oh, uh I guess I meant your other other daughter,” he clarified once more.

“Edric?” Emira said with a raise of her eyebrow.

“Amity,” said Hunter. “Though I know she prefers to go by-.”

“This is Amity, your grace,” said Odalia, bringing Amity forward. “I understand if you didn't recognize her. I know the purple hair is rather unappealing, but we can change it if it isn’t to your liking.”

“No, no that’s not-.” He sighed. “Are you sure there’s no one else here? Anyone who might go by Clover?”

“‘Clover?’” Emira repeated. “Isn’t that the name of-.”

“Um, ya know I think we just need some privacy,” said Amity, nearly jumping out of her skin as she ran to take Hunter’s wrist. “Excuse us won’t you okay byeee!”

Hunter followed her until they were out of earshot, then stopped to demand some  explanation. His confusion bordered on anger, slowly shifting to hurt.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re not in love with me.”

“Well duh,” scoffed Hunter. “I’m in love with Amity.”

“No, no you’re not,” she sighed. “I mean, you are but the Amity you think is Amity isn’t really Amity because I’m really Amity.”

“What?”

 She went and pulled out her scroll and turned to show him a photo. “This is her, right?”

He looked down and saw it was her… whoever she was. She was bright and beaming, smiling the smile he knew meant she had been laughing. 

“Yes,” he said. For a moment, his heart dropped as he considered the notion that she had seen him coming and fled the house in order to avoid this conversation. “So if she’s not here… what’s going on?”

—

Willow had drafted dozens of letters she didn’t know how to send. No matter how she worded it., the truth just didn’t seem good enough. And now she had let time pass, maybe too much time. But she didn’t know which she was more afraid of: hurting him or admitting she had been hurting him all along. But realistically what did she think would happen? He was essentially a prince. Her reputation labeled her as half-a-witch. Their worlds were never meant to collide, he would be bored of her or outgrow her soon enough. He would never demote himself to her world.

Then she saw him at the end of her garden path, walking to her front door.

No mask, no armor, no walls. Just him. Her heart raced and sank and hid over and over. Was he here to arrest her? To yell at her? To save her? Suddenly, she didn’t care. After weeks that felt like lifetimes, seeing him just made her come to realize how much she missed him. 

He knocked.

She quickly fluffed her hair in the mirror by her front door and took a deep breath before she slowly opened it for him. She didn’t know what to say, if she should greet him, hug him, or if she should have pretended to not be home. Once their eyes met, the words flooded out.

“I’m sorry,” she said with wide eyes. “Are you mad? It’s okay if you are, I’d be mad too. You should be mad, I lied to you. I had a good reason to, I know it’s not an excuse because I kept doing it even after Amity asked me to stop. I just liked you and spending time with you and I promise I never lied about that and I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know how and I-.”

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“I- what?”

“Your name,” he said breathlessly. “Your real name.”

“Willow,” she said. “Willow Park.”

“Willow,” he repeated, like it made the air taste sweeter. It suited it, it felt like it should be so obvious that it was the perfect word to describe her. It was elegant and whimsical and simple in a way that managed to capture all that she was in mere letters. It had music in it, like reciting a fond dream. 

“Well Willow Park,” he said, the name dancing on his lips like prayer as he extended his hand to her. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

She took it. “The pleasure is all mine, Golden Guard sir,”

“Please call me Hunter.”

“Okay,” she said nervously. “Even though I actually don’t have the status of a Blight? You’re still okay with me calling you Hunter?”

“Yeah, I mean that’s what my friends call me.”

“Okay cool,” she said, feeling nervous around him for the first time in weeks. She brushed her hair behind her ear, feeling like he was waiting for her to say more. “So um h-how did you find me?”

“Oh, Amity- the real Amity- told me,” he explained. “When you stopped showing up I went to Blight manor to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m sorry I worried you,” she said softly. “I wanted to explain but I didn’t want to get Amity in trouble and I didn’t want to lie and it was just easier this way. It’s cowardly, I know. But I was worried that if I went to tell you and saw you I wouldn’t be able to go through with it.”

“Oh, okay,” he voice wavered and he cleared his throat to try and hide it. “I uh- t-that’s good to know then. I was also  worried that maybe I had done something to offend you.”

“No of course not! Why would you think that?”

“Well the last time I saw you we um, or rather I lingered in our embrace,” he said, his face reddening with every word. “And I was worried that it may have been inappropriate that you could interpret it as unprofessional.”

She had noticed, but she would have sworn she had been the one lingering.

“That’s definitely not the reason.”

“So then you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said with a smile. “I’m the one with things to apologize for.”

“Weeeeell that’s not entirely true,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Since we’re admitting things, you or rather Amity I suppose, didn’t need to keep coming because… my uncle stopped requiring it after the second visit. So I… I kind of lied too.”

“And why would you do something like that?”

“Because I liked spending time with you,” he said. “And I would like to see you again,” he cleared his throat to try and summon his confident tone back. “Outside the castle walls.”

Willow smiled. “To do what?”

“Well, uh I know the… situation of how we met wasn’t entirely… ideal “ he continued. “And I eh- hold on, this changes my speech a little.”

“You made a speech?” she said, knowing he made speeches for the most important matters in his life. “For me?”

“I heh yeah I did,” he said with a chuckle. He knew she wouldn’t mock him, her teasing was always gentle and from a caring place. She helped him see the humor in himself, that allowed him to relax for at least a moment.“I… it’s so weird. I had no trouble telling Odalia Blight how I felt about you.Titan, I loved you even when I thought you were a Blight, I considered it the closest thing you had to a flaw and even then I-.”

He looked up and saw her gentle expression was gone and now she looked stunned. Not upset, just surprised. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, worried he had misread the situation. 

“You just… you just said you loved me.” Willow said as though letting him know he had misspoke. 

“Oh! I mean yes, I did,” he tried to save face. “I did say that because… well… it’s not totally untrue. I mean I was researching dynamics within a friendship and found many of the aspects present in our interactions but then there were other… feelings that were slightly more advanced than ones expressed within a purely platonic relationship. And one day after you left I suppose my face was still rather flushed when a scout saw me and they accused me of being in love and I… I don’t think they were wrong?”

She knew they were young and being in love was something major and brought with more time but Titan she couldn’t deny that she loved hearing him say it. Despite his feeling causing him to be teased and confused and uneasy, he trusted her enough to share it unfiltered. 

“You mean a lot to me too,” she said, trying to balance the sentiments dancing between them. “

“Sorry if I’m talking a lot I just feel like when I don’t see you I save all the things I want to say and they just like flood out because I just feel really safe around you and I know it was only a week but I really missed you, like I miss you every time sorry if that’s weird or-.”

“It’s not weird,” she said, taking his hands in hers. “It’s definitely not weird.”

“Yeah okay,” he chuckled, trying to hide his blush as he couldn’t help but focus on how soft her hands were. “So it’s… okay? I wanted to do this right and not seeing you at Blight manor kind of threw me through a loop. I just pictured it happening a certain way.”

“How did you picture it?”

“Well, worst case scenario you turn me down because it was just something you did for your family and you secretly despise me.”

She giggled, not to make fun of him but because it seemed like an impossible scenario. “And the best case?”

“Well I… I guess this is probably better than the best case,” he said. He balled his fists at his sides and bit his lip, feeling entirely out of his element. 

“Hunter,” she began gently, finding solace in the fact that they felt out of place together. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Yes,” he said, dramatically exhaling unaware he had been holding his breath in the first place. “Oh thank Titan I’m so glad you said something because I did not know where I was going with that.”

They laughed, falling into a comfort they had both missed dearly. 

“So… can we start over?” she asked. “No lies?”

“Sounds good to me, Willow,” he said, getting used to the excitement that came with saying her name now. “So since we’re being honest, do you actually have any interest in joining the emperor’s coven?”

“Not really,” she admitted, sucking her teeth. “Is that okay?”

“Well, technically I’m only supposed to socialize with potential recruits,” said Hunter, pretending to be distraught. “So it looks like I’m going to have to find a way to convince you.”

“Hmmm, that might take awhile though.”

“I’m prepared to arrange as many meetings as necessary to try and enlist you,” he declared in a new version of his ‘official’ voice. “The emperor’s coven can’t let a recruit with your potential get away so easily.”

“So what do you have in mind?”

“Well, I’d love to take you to the botanical gardens we talked about,” he said. “Perhaps one of those flyer derby matches you mentioned or that bakery I pass by on patrol.”

“I’d really like that,” she said with a smile.

“So we… have a new arrangement?” he asked, extending his hand to her before adding just because he liked saying it: “Willow?”

“It looks like we do,” she said, shaking his hand. “As long as you’re prepared to give the speech you wrote for the Blights to my dads.”

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Tyden Oneshot - Why’d You Only Call Me When Your High?

T/W for mentions of pill abuse

Tyler likes Aiden. He really does. It kind of sucked just how much he likes him, really. With his loud personality, gross habits, greasy hair. Tyler really shouldn’t like the guy, let alone date him. Yet he was. He was kind of annoying, to be completely honest.

And yet, he was so soft when he wanted to be. Cuddly, almost. Was he literally soft? Hell no, the guy’s skin is dry as hell. But is he warm and huggable? Ridiculously so. 

Tyler always falls asleep when leaning onto him. Which is just totally humiliating, because Tyler doesn’t like falling asleep so close to someone. Yet, despite that, Aiden somehow has this.. Thing about him that just made Tyler feel so at peace. Which is so damn weird, because the guy is literally the creepiest motherfucker ever.

But as he was waking up from a nap, his eyes twitching open and he was groaning quietly, he couldn’t deny it was one of the best naps he’s had in a while.

“Awake, nitwit?” Aiden says teasingly, ruffling Tyler’s hair.

Tyler batted his hand away, rolling his eyes. “Shut up..” he grumbles groggily.

Aiden was leaning against the headboard of the bed, looking at his phone. Tyler squinted his eyes to look through the closed curtains and barely saw any sunlight.

“What time is it?” he asks.

“8:00.”

“8:00!? Shoot, Taylor must be worried about me!” Tyler yells, almost falling out of the bed.

“I already told her where you were, calm down,” Aiden says, grabbing the back of his shirt, catching him and pulling him back up.

“Oh.. okay..” he says, calming down a bit. He rubs his eyes now and then looks to the blonde boy. “Did you nap too?”

Aiden snorts. “You know I didn’t.”

Tyler is a bit annoyed by this. If he was vulnerable enough to fall asleep next to Aiden of all people, Aiden had to be as well. It was only fair.

“Why not?”

Aiden shrugs. “I took my Adderall pretty late today, so it’s still in my system.”

Tyler’s brow furrowed at this. “How late?”

“Like… 5:00?”

This was concerning. “What!? Aiden! You’re not going to sleep at all tonight!”

“I will when we get to the phantom world!”

Tyler grabs his shoulders. “You know that doesn’t count!’

Aiden shrugs. “I mean, it doesn’t matter tooooo much.”

Tyler squeezes his shoulders now, getting even more concerned. He remembered how his mom would occasionally misuse her own medications when she was deep in her depression. He knew that was nothing like what Aiden was doing, but damnit, it reminded him way too much of it.

“You have to be.. More responsible… With your medication, Aiden..” he says quietly.

Aiden stares at Tyler for a moment before shrugging, Tyler’s hands sliding off of his shoulders. “I’ll be fine.”

Tyler hated that response. ‘I’ll be fine.’ What fucking bullshit. Ya, sure, don’t tell your boyfriend about your problems, that’s totally fine. 

Tyler swung his legs off of the bed. “Whatever. I need to head home.”

Aiden seemed to not expect this. “You’re not going to spend the night?”

“I need to get home for my mom and sister,” he says dismissively. And also I’m too pissed to be around you right now.. he thought.

Aiden watches as the brunette grabs his jacket off of the desk, not very happy about watching him leave. Aiden hates it when Tyler leaves. Especially when he has that look in his face. It makes him scared he’s not going to come back.

Aiden reaches out and grabs his hand quickly before he leaves. Tyler turns to look at him.

The two don’t say anything for a moment, but want the other to say what their problem is first.

But, in the end, all that’s said is from Tyler. “You need to clean your damn room, by the way,” he grumbles before leaving.

Aiden stares at the closed door for a moment. He tilts his head back. He kind of wishes he could sleep. That used to be what he would do to escape his problems, back when he was all alone. But now he wasn’t alone. Not really. He has friends and even a boyfriend. So he shouldn’t want to sleep. That’s just admitting defeat and going back to the person he used to be. And he refuses to do anything like that. Ever.

So, instead, he just pulls out his laptop and watches a 3 hour long iceberg video about some fandom that he’s not even in.

Tyler gets on his bike and rides through the cool night, the air barely touching him because he’s red hot from rage right now. He hates how Aiden doesn’t tell him shit. He is the dumbass’s fucking boyfriend. Well.. ok, the two never officially stated that, but the two cuddle on the time and occasionally kiss the other’s cheek. So, that’s basically making it official.

When he arrived home, he closed the door with a gentle click, doing everything in his power to not stomp as to not wake his mom or sister up. He enters the living room and sees a huddled mass covered in blankets lying on the couch. He approaches the lump and kneels down in front of it, seeing his mother. She has a tendency to occasionally sleep with her eyes opened, and tonight was one of those nights. He shudders a little and tucks the blankets in around her tighter and checks around the house, just to make sure there weren’t any pills she may have gotten into. Ya, his mom has been clean for almost a year now, but the anxiety never leaves him. 

When he confirms to himself that there isn’t any sort of drug his mom could’ve gotten into, he heads to his and Taylor’s room. He’s a little confused when he sees the door is opened. Taylor never sleeps with the door open. As he enters, he realizes no one is there.

He’s panicking now and whips out his phone, typing fast.

-Tyler: Taylor, where are you? 

-Tyler: Taylor!?

-Tyler: What the fuck

-Tyler: Taylor, please, where are you?

-Taylor: Geez, Ty, calm down!

-Tyler: Where are you!?

-Taylor: I’m spending the night at Ashlyn’s.

-Tyler: What!? Why??

-Taylor: Because I thought you were spending the night with Aiden.

-Tyler: And if I was, you can’t leave mom alone!

-Taylor: Ty, mom has been clean for a whole year now. She hates how much you infantilize her. 

Tyler is angry now. Him? Infantilize? He doesn’t do that! He just cares! And he’s responsible! He thought Taylor of all people would understand that. He slams his phone onto the nightstand and sits on the bottom bunk of his bed.

Why is no one taking pills seriously? Aiden and now Taylor. Is he the only one who cares? About safety? About health!?

He buries his face into his hands. And lays down, staring at the top bunk.

He doesn’t want to go to the phantom world. He just wants to be alone for a while and not deal with anybody. And he sure as hell doesn’t want to see Aiden right now, or even Taylor. 

He scoffs a little. He does not infantilize his mom. He just has to take care of her. She can’t do anything without him.. It’s just his job. And that’s what he’s supposed to do for Aiden, too. But it would be easier if Aiden just.. Talked to him. Whatever. Until Aiden actually starts being responsible, he’s going to ignore him.. Ya.

But, eventually, the clock strikes and he finds his eyes closing against his will.

The first thing he’s met with is Aiden staring at him, their noses pressed together. This definitely caught Tyler off guard, who promptly shoves Aiden off of him. “Idiot. What were you doing?”

“Owch! I just wanted to greet youuuu!”

“Awful greeting,” he says, standing up. 

Aiden pouts a little and stands up as well. He reaches out and interlocks their pinkies. Tyler pauses for a moment before pulling away. Until Aiden starts talking about his feelings, Tyler won’t talk about his own. It was only fair, really.

Aiden was hurt by Tyler pulling away, but he hides it, laughing as he forces himself to jokingly say, “A little sour, aren’t we?”

Tyler rolls his eyes, ignoring him. This only upsets Aiden even more.

The two meet everyone outside.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” Aiden asks, clapping his hands together.

“Honestly?” Ashlyn says, looking up, rubbing her eyes, exhausted. “Nothing. I’m too damn tired for this.”

“Ohhhh! Free day!” Aiden exclaims, throwing his arms into the air.

Tyler was not so excited. He was really hoping having some sort of chore would give him an excuse to avoid Aiden.

Aiden tugs at Tyler’s arm. “Wanna play some games?”

Tyler doesn’t respond for a moment before grumbling, “Not really..” He pulls his arm away and walks back to the bus.

Aiden watches him leave and he feels his blood run cold. Tyler is just avoiding him. Why was he avoiding him? Is he leaving him? Does he not like him anymore? What is he doing wrong? What can he do better? How can he make him stay?

Taylor huffs, now standing next to Aiden. “Don’t worry ‘bout Tyler, Aiden. He’s in a grumpy mood because of me.”

Aiden blinks, surprised. “..You?”

“Ya. I called him out on his behavior and I think it got to him. Just give him a break and let him brood.”

Aiden kicks at the dirt, watching it stir in the air. “That’s not too fair. I’m his boyfriend.”

Taylor raises an eyebrow. “I’ve been meaning to ask about that. Are you guys really boyfriends?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Like.. has he said that to you?”

Aiden pauses. “Does that matter?”

Taylor sighs. “Geez.. Tyler really needs to communicate..”

Aiden watches her leave and he has to think about her words. Now he’s wondering.. What does it mean to be boyfriends? Is that what Tyler wants, is that what they actually are or is Aiden just getting ahead of himself like always? That certainly wouldn’t be fair.

As the night in the phantom world goes on, Aiden goes up to Logan.

“How much longer on the clock?”

“Um.. two minutes.”

Aiden nods and decides to go off to look for Tyler. He finds him inside the school bus, leaning against the seat and scowling as he stares out the dirty window.

“Careful,” Aiden says as he approaches him. “If you keep your face like that, it’ll stay that way.”

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to check on you.”

Tyler doesn’t respond. What bullshit. Check in on him when he can’t even take care of himself?

“Did I do something?” Aiden finally asks. This gets Tyler to look at him. He was barely holding a smile together.

This makes Tyler feel like complete shit. Was he taking this maybe.. Too far? He was just concerned! So didn’t he have the right to be annoyed that Aiden won’t let him take care of him?

“Aiden.. I..”

But he didn’t get to finish his sentence before he found himself staring up at the top of his bunk bed. The only words that came out?

“Shit.”

…

Tyler couldn't really fall asleep after that. What was he going to tell Aiden? He can’t even remember. How pathetic, eh? He should talk to him. Tell him his concerns. But how could he?

With mom, he remembered sobbing at night, wishing she was more responsible.

And he knows, he knows Aiden is nowhere near as bad with how he handles his medication. He just takes it late in the day, which prevents him from ever getting sleep… Ugh!! Why won’t that dumbass just take care of himself?! Tyler hates being the caregiver, but what is he supposed to do? He can’t just stop. Flip a switch and be more laid back. It’s not that easy. 

Now it’s 3 am and he hears his phone buzzing. He considers who could be calling, then realizes who would still be awake right now.

He answers, quietly, with a, “Hi, Aiden.”

“Did I do something, Tyler?” Aiden asks immediately.

Tyler freezes at the abruptness of the question. So immediate and straight to the point. Nothing like Aiden at all.

Tyler struggles to find the words. But they found him. “Why can’t you just be responsible!?”

Aiden doesn’t say anything before letting out a raspy laugh. “What?”

“Aiden.. You never take care of yourself. W-When’s the last time you slept? Properly?”

“...Tyler, why are you being like this?”

“Damnit, Aiden, can’t I just be concerned for you?”

“Well, ya, but.. Wait, is this why you were ignoring me?”

“Aiden..”

“You were ignoring me because you were mad I wasn’t taking care of myself?! What the fuck, man!?”

“I’m sorry, ok!? I just.. I want you to be ok.”

“I am ok!”

“Are you, though?”

“Yes!”

“I can’t believe you!” “Why not!?”

“Because everything about how you take care of yourself says otherwise! The messy room, the awful meals, the carelessness in your medication! It’s all just.. It’s just..” It’s just like how his mom was.

Aiden goes quiet.

“Haaaaah… sounds like a lot of projection.”

“Aiden. I’m being serious. I just want you to be ok.” His teeth are practically grinding now.

Aiden doesn’t say anything. “Why do you only tell me you worry about me when you’re angry?”

He hangs up on Tyler.

Tyler’s never heard Aiden say anything like that. Ever.

Tyler doesn’t know what to say. He jumps, though, when he hears movement behind him. But instead of being met with a phantom, he sees his mother.

“You were yelling.” Her voice felt so distant. This has been the clearest he’s ever seen her eyes.

“I.. ya, I just..” He awkwardly clears his throat.

She nods. “I heard the conversation.”

He doesn’t speak.

“Tyler.. Mijo… I am sorry.. For the burden that I have put upon you after your father.. Left us.. I truly am sorry. I really am trying to move past it all. And I understand that it’s harder for you. But please.. Don’t let my past pain be your current pain.”

Tyler slowly slides out of bed and approaches his mom before wrapping his arms around her. He hugs her. And it wasn’t the hug of a caretaker and the one they care for. It was between a son and his mother. And he’s really missed that feeling.

“Go to your friend.”

Tyler slowly pulls away. He wipes his eyes and just before he steps out, he pauses, before saying, “He’s actually.. My boyfriend.” That’s the first time he’s ever said it truly. And she smiles and then nods.

He jumps on his bike and rides through the night. Geez, it was cold at 3 am. By the time he gets to Aiden’s, he going to have frostbite.

It’s be worth it, though.

He pulls into the driveway and runs up to Aiden’s front door. His parents were on a business trip, so he rung the doorbell. He stood there for a good 3 minutes before the door opens.

“Aiden.”

“Hey.. Ty.”

Tyler cups his face. “Listen. You are my boyfriend. And I love you. I love you so fucking much and you piss me off so damn much because I don’t want to be the one taking care of you.. All the damn time.. But I want you to be responsible and smart about what you're doing. And I’m happy to help with that, I really am. Just please, please.. Help me help you..”

Aiden’s staring at him with big eyes. The eyebags are only heavier, which pisses Tyler off to no end.

“You called me your boyfriend.”

“Huh?”

“You said it. You haven’t done that yet.”

“I-.. Is that seriously all you got from that!?”

Aiden bursts out laughing. Damn. He has such an ugly laugh. Tyler smiles, just a little. He loves his laugh. But, he probably won’t say it any time soo-

“I love your laugh.”

Shit.

Aiden’s now smiling like a total jackass, which he is.

“Feeling honest tonight?”

“I think the cold’s just messing with my head..”

Aiden grabs his hand. “Cmon then. Let’s go to bed.” Tyler hesitates. “Will you sleep?”

Aiden grins sharply. “”I’ll try. I promise. For you.”

Tyler pauses before tightening his grip on the blonde boy’s hand, accepting his warmth. “It’s a start.”

[bloodibambiidoll]

Purple Houses and Paranorman

(Single!Dad Eddie Munson x Single!Mom Reader)

Summary: Eddie asks you and Oliver to go to a special screening of Paranorman with him and Charlotte. WK: 3.9K

Series Masterlist My Masterlist

Warnings: Basically none, modern AU, mention of a dead family member (readers aunt), There’s like one second where Eddie is checking reader out and his thoughts get a little carried away, readers son has a speech delay, reader is implied to be alternative and have tattoos but I don’t talk about it much besides her outfits, fluff fluff and moreee fluff. But as always my blog is 18+MNDI

A/N: So I might have gotten a tiny bit carried away talking about the house, it wasn’t something I originally planned out but it kind of just came to me as I was writing, I’d like for them to all live there together eventually. I’m trying to make it a lil slow burn but I suck at that so hard so we will see how much longer I can go without making them kiss LOL. Also I said these were blurbs and this is almost 4K sooo Oopsie. As always my requests for these guys are open and feedback is greatly appreciated.💜💚

Your phone vibrated and the screen lit up, the contact reading “Eddie🎸🦇” you smiled to yourself before pushing the green accept button.

“Helloooo Edward, what can I do for you on this fine autumn morning?”

“Hey weirdo” He let out a laugh, one you’ve grown to find comfort in over these last few weeks. “What are you and Oli up to today? The theater is doing a special showing of Paranorman and I was wondering if you guys would wanna go with us later?”

“What’s in it for me?” You joked.

“Ummm you get to spend time with your bestfriend and do something Halloween related, which I know you love.”

“Bold of you to assume you’re my bestfriend.” You laughed, knowing he definitely had become the best friend you have but still wanting to fuck with him a little.

“Me? I’m talking about Charlotte, you are her new self proclaimed bestfriend and also you do her hair better than me, apparently. Can’t believe my own daughter likes you more than me.” He sighed dramatically and you could practically see him faux fainting.

“Awww I love her, she’s my new bestfriend too. Verdict is still out on her dad though.”

“WOW I can’t believe you would betray me like this, I thought you loved me.”

“Don’t worry, you’re better at playing monster than me apparently sooo I think we are even. What time do you want to go?”

“I guess we can call it even, for now. How about around two? Gives us a few hours to get the goblins fed and ready to go.”

Jokingly teasing each other had become the norm for you and Eddie, easily falling into flirty banter since the day you met.

“Okay, perfect.”

“Want to meet us there? Or I can come get you guys and we can ride together.”

Something you had noticed about Eddie is how perceptive he was. He picked up early on that you’d avoid going places you’d have to drive especially if you’d never been there before, which in those first few weeks was essentially everywhere. So he always offered to pick you and Oliver up whenever you all did something together.

“Could you pick us up? If that’s okay.”

“I wouldn’t have offered it if it wasn’t okay, babe.” Babe, was something he only started calling you recently but it made you giddy every time.

He was also constantly reassuring you that he didn’t mind helping you when you needed it. He knows how hard it is to do this alone so he was always offering to do anything to make things easier on you. Even if it was something as small as picking you and your son up for a movie. At first you declined his help every chance he offered, used to doing things alone, not wanting to burden him. But he’s told you over and over how he doesn’t mind, that it makes him happy to be able to help you.

So who could blame you if you had developed a not so small crush on him? You tried not to, but he was all kind gestures, big brown eyes and chunky jewelry. So how could you not? It’s not your fault it was like he was your dream come to life. You weren’t positive but you were pretty sure he felt the same. Hugs started lingering just a little longer than they should have, hands started brushing when you followed behind your rowdy children on evening walks, the cute little pet names he would always call you that made your stomach flip, the kisses on the cheek you had started giving each other.

So after you got Oli ready you gave him his tablet and spent a little extra time getting ready. You did your hair in your favorite style and added just a tiny bit more makeup than usual, both turned out perfect. But now you were standing in front of your open closet, staring at it like the perfect outfit was just going to jump out at you.

The October chill had set in throughout Hawkins, the days still sunny but the breeze cold, not quite bone chilling like in mid December, but cold enough that you needed some layers. You were also going to be sitting in a movie seat for two hours even if they were the reclining ones you didn’t want to spend that amount of time sitting in jeans.

After trying on several outfits, you ended up deciding on a black long sleeve skater dress, the neckline scooped just enough to make your boobs look nice. You layered some thigh high socks and leg warmers before pulling on your boots. You grabbed a plain zip-up just in case you got cold in the theater and gave yourself a once over in the mirror.

You couldn’t deny the fact that you looked good, and you hoped Eddie would think so too. He had never seen you this dolled up, usually wearing more comfortable clothes and simpler make-up.

You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach, a mixture of emotions going through you. Excitement to see Eddie was in the forefront, but the nervousness was lingering in the background. Are you reading things wrong? Is it smart to get involved with someone that your son has already started to form an attachment to? You took a deep breath, checking your hair one last time before shaking your head as if it would erase those feelings like an etch-a-sketch, willing yourself to enjoy something for once.

When you decided you were as ready as you’d ever be you got on Oliver’s shoes and jacket before grabbing your purse and taking him outside on the porch to wait on the swing. You smiled to yourself as you looked at the porch you spent many summers drinking lemonade with your aunt. The various wind chimes that hung moons and stars and zodiac symbols chime in the mid October breeze.

You loved this house, it belonged to your late aunt who left it to you in her will when she died. It was beautiful but eccentric, kind of like your aunt herself. It stuck out among the many suburban style houses in your neighborhood. It was a late 1800s Victorian style home, with beautiful arches and various types of windows, a wrap-around porch, and a beautiful backyard with a garden that your aunt cared for until the day she couldn’t anymore. You and Eddie had planted pumpkins back there with the kids in her honor, she’s the reason you love them so much after all. They were almost ready to be harvested and carved, a Halloween movie on in the background and the smell of pumpkin seeds baking in the oven.

But what really made the house stand out was that your aunt had it painted a deep purple color, the shutters and roof black, matching the porch. The door was black but it had a beautiful stained glass window in the middle of it, depicting the same kind of crescent moon and stars that dangled from the wind chimes. Inside there were four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living and family room that held a mixture of her old and your new furniture, and your favorite part, the kitchen. It had been updated since the house was built, but still held a vintage feel. Your aunt had the cabinets and drawers all painted the same purple as the outside of the house, wallpaper with those same moons and stars adorned the walls. The only modern thing about it being the fact that she had replaced all the appliances with shiny new ones.

It was a lot of space, too much for just you and Oliver. But you couldn’t bring yourself to sell it, some of your happiest memories were spent here. So you decided you’d take this opportunity and get the fresh start you’ve been needing. You didn’t have much keeping you back home anyways. You and your mom weren’t particularly close but when she found out your aunt left you everything, not just the house, but her money too, she was furious.

Now that you’ve settled you know it was the right choice. Oli started school and despite his struggles with communication he was thriving in class, you got a job at a local diner where you made pretty decent tips, you had this beautiful house, and last but not least you had Eddie and Charlotte.

•

A large smile stretched across Eddie’s face when he turned down your long driveway and saw you and your son sitting on the porch. He loves your house, he used to drive by it when he would deal to the rich kids in highschool and always admired it. But when you stood up his jaw actually dropped. He had never seen you in a dress before, you always looked beautiful but right now you were fucking radiant.

He got out of his SUV to help you get Oliver’s seat in and you were even more breathtaking up close.

“Wow. You look… wow.” Eddie shamelessly lets his eyes wander your form for a moment, his cheeks turning red when he reaches that little sliver of skin between your socks and your dress.

“Thanks, babe. You’re not so bad yourself, I guess.” You repeated his words from earlier back to him and he cackled.

“Ha ha veeerry funny, brat.” He stuck his tongue out at you.

“Reaaaal mature, nerd.”

“Hi Eddie!” Oli ran over to hug Eddie’s legs and smiled triumphantly, having recently gotten his new friend's name down.

“Hey little dude! How’s a going?” He gave your son a wide smile while he affectionately ruffled his hair.

“Where Char?” He tilted his head to the side, more concerned with where his friend was than answering Eddie’s question.

“She’s in the car buddy, you wanna to say hi to her while I get your seat in?”

He just nodded, grabbing your hand and dragging you around to the other side of the car where Charlotte was, knowing he’s not supposed to walk down the driveway without holding hands.

Eddie couldn’t help but watch you walk away, internally groaning when he saw that same sliver of skin from the back. The dress is long enough to cover your ass, but not by much and he can’t help but imagine flipping the skirt of it up and-

“Eddie? Are you gonna put the seat in the car or are you just gonna stand there and ogle me?”

You couldn’t help but tease him when you turned around and he was just standing there holding the car seat with his mouth hanging open.

“Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah- yeah sorry.” His face turned beat red and he turned his back to put the seat in to try and hide it, but you saw it. At least you know he thinks you look cute, mission accomplished.

Once the kids were all buckled and ready to go you got in the passenger seat and flashed him a smile. He turned towards you and reached under your seat, his leather jacket covered arm going across your thighs where your dress rode up. You tried to act like your heart wasn’t beating a thousand miles a minute whenever you were this close to him, hopefully succeeding.

But Eddie caught the tiniest little squeak that came out of the back of your throat when he first touched you. Feeling satisfied with himself that he had any kind of affect on you because you made him feel like he was in highschool with a crush on a girl he didn’t have a chance with. But you were constantly showing him that maybe he did have a chance with you.

He pulled a bag from under your seat, plopping it in your lap.

“Me and the princess stopped at the dollar store and got your guys’ favorite candy. I figured since the movie theater candy is like crazy expensive we could get the candy before and get popcorn and drinks at the theater.” He said it so casually, like it wasn’t a big deal that he remembered you and your son’s favorite treats. But to you, it was. Every single time you saw him he gave you another reason to fall for him.

“Wow, thank you Eds. That’s really thoughtful of you.” You smiled at him sweetly, the kind of smile that made him feel like he was going to melt into a puddle in the driver's seat.

“Of course Darlin’ anything for my favorite dude and my favorite girl.” He smiled back at you, the kind of smile that reminds you of sunshine that you wanted to bottle up for a rainy day.

He put the car in reverse and of course he had to put his hand on the headrest of the passenger seat while he pulled out. You just wanted to tilt your head up and kiss his wrist where his jacket rode up. You wanted to be close to him so badly, you’ve been trying to find the courage to ask him to hang out, just the two of you but you keep psyching yourself out. You didn’t have anyone to watch Oli anyways and if he wanted that he never hinted at it. Always suggesting things for you to do with the kids. Which you love, having someone think of both of you the way Eddie does is something you’ve never really had. But what you wouldn’t give for just a few hours alone with him, no kids, just being yourselves. But maybe he didn’t want that?

Eddie glanced over at you as he turned onto your street, you were staring out the window, chewing your lip that way you always did when you were thinking hard about something. Usually something that was upsetting you, so he did what any good friend would do and reached across the center counsel to grab your hand.

You whipped your head around at the feeling of his larger hand engulfing yours.

“You okay?” He ran his thumb over the top of it before intertwining your fingers. He had never held your hand before, and you felt your insides grow warm at the feeling. His palm was surprisingly soft against yours, but his fingers were calloused from years of playing guitar and working on cars. The juxtaposition of rough and smooth was more soothing than you ever could’ve imagined.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just got lost in thought for a second. Thank you for checking on me.”

You smiled at him sweetly, squeezing his hand in yours. Expecting him to let go after he knew you were alright but he just held on tighter. One hand on the wheel, the other in yours, hidden from the kids by the center console.

“DADDYYYYY! I want an icee, a blue oneeee!” Charlotte said in a sing-song voice.

“Okay baby, we can get a blue icee.” Eddie smiled at her in the rearview mirror and she clapped her hands in triumph.

“Oli, do you want an icee?” His eyes moved over to the other side of the backseat as he addressed your son.

“Yuuppp! Blueeee!” He said in the same sing song tone as his friend. He was always parroting her and saying things she said back to her and it warms your heart. He’s come so far with his communication skills since he started school and started spending so much time with Charlotte, you couldn’t be more proud of him.

Eddie held your hand up until he parked the car and took the keys out of the ignition. Squeezing it before placing a quick and sneaky kiss on the back of your hand, giving you one of those goofy smiles you love so much and exiting the car like he didn’t just make a bomb filled with butterflies go off in your stomach.

You got the kids out of their seats and walked into the movie theater, Charlotte and Oliver insisting on being in the middle so they could hold hands too. Eddie showed the guy at the ticket booth the barcode on his phone that had the tickets on it since he insisted on paying for everyone.

“Icee! Icee! Blue!” Oli jumped up and down as he pointed at the machine spinning the different colored slushy ice.

“Yeah baby, I’m gonna get you an Icee.” You chuckled at how cute his excitement was, letting him drag you toward the concession stand with Eddie and Charlotte in tow.

You ordered two small and two large blue Icees and a large popcorn. You go to pull your wallet out of your purse to pay since Eddie bought the tickets but you feel a large hand on yours, pushing it back down.

He already had his card out before you even open your purse, handing it to the woman behind the counter.

“Eddie… you paid for the tickets, it's the least I can do.”

“Nope. My treat.” A triumphant smile spread across his lips and he sent you a wink.

He always did this, paid for you, drove you, brought you little things he saw in the store that reminded him of you or Oli. It’s not like you didn’t have money, your aunt left you plenty of it and you had your job at the diner. But you knew Eddie did well for himself, he had told you some about his childhood, how he grew up with very little and he didn’t want his daughter to ever feel like he did as a kid. So after he finally graduated he and his uncle opened their own mechanic shop. It was fairly successful, their lower prices and more efficient work times drawing in and catering to the less wealthy people of Hawkins.

“Dada I have to go potty!” Charlotte tugged on Eddie’s hand, pouting toward the bathroom sign that was on the way to your designated theater.

“Alright sweets, let’s go potty. Oli and your bestie will go get our seats.”

She shook her head and pouted, looking at you with big round brown eyes, asking without verbalizing, something you’ve became an expert at understanding after having Oliver. Ever since you had all started going on outings together more often she had been asking you to take her to the bathroom. She had hardly ever gone in the girls room, always having to have her dad take her, so after you took her that first time, she always asked.

“Do you want me to take you potty honey?” You smiled at her sweetly, titling your head toward the bathroom.

“Yes! Please! I like going to the girl potty room!”

“Alright little dude, looks like it’s you and me with the snacks and the seats. They have lady business to attend to.” He grabbed the drink carrier from your hand, guiding Oli to walk in front of him into the bright colored double doors that led to dimly lit theater.

You stood outside the stall while Charlotte used the restroom, “standing guard” as she called it.

“Have you ever seen Paranorman before?” You asked her as you helped her wash her hands.

“No but my daddy said it’s a lot like Coraline and I love Coraline so I hope I will like this one too!” She smiled at you in the mirror.

“I’m sure you will, Oli loves it!” You helped her dry her hands before leading her out of the bathroom and into the theater to find the boys.

“Mommmmyyyy! Sit!” Oliver patted the seat on his left, signaling for you to sit down next to him. Charlotte sat to his right and to her right sat Eddie.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to sit by him before you even got here. But he felt like he was a world away with two reclining seats between you, it made you miss the old movie seats, at least then you’d be close enough to reach behind the kids to hold his hand over their heads. You missed his hand in yours the minute he let go, it still felt empty now even as you held the large cup filled with sugary blue slush in your hand.

The movie went as smoothly as it could’ve with two five year olds. You had to shush them both more than a few times and twenty minutes in, Oliver had to go to the bathroom, Eddie took him, he liked going in the boys bathroom just as much as Char liked going in the girls.

When it ended you corralled the kids back into the car, Eddie offering to drive through McDonald’s on the way to your house to get the kids happy meals and they cheered.

The ride was filled with small talk, jokes, and all four of you singing along to different songs on your playlist because Eddie even let you pick the music in his car. He never let anyone pick the music, it didn’t hurt that you had good taste.

When you were a few minutes from your house, just like before Eddie reached over to grab your hand. You took it instantly, intertwining your fingers and looking over at him with a shy smile.

“I had a lot of fun today, thanks for coming with us.” He glanced over at you at a stop sign, his smile sweet and his eyes filled with affection.

“I did too, thank you for inviting us. Next time I’m paying though.” You ran your thumb along his, the soft gesture contradicting the teasing tone in your voice.

“Yeah, we will see about that sweetheart.” He sent you a wink as he turned onto your street, giving your hand one last squeeze before getting out of the car to help you with the seat.

He got Oliver and his seat out of his car, you grabbed your son's hand and he held onto the car seat as he walked you a few feet to your door. He sits the seat down on the porch before turning to Oli and asking him for a high five, he happily obliged, even offering to bump knuckles with him in return.

“I really did have fun today, I love hanging out with you guys, it’s nice… to have someone else to do things with.” Eddie rocked on the balls of his feet with a bashful look on his face.

“It is nice, I’m glad we have you guys. I love spending time with you, both of you.” You were sure the smile on your face was lovesick and dopey but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. “The pumpkins are almost ready to harvest, would you guys want to come over and carve them next weekend? We can put a Halloween movie on, make some popcorn, make a whole thing of it.”

“I’d love that, and I’m sure she would too. It’s a date.” His eyes widen as he realizes his choice of words and you can tell he's about to correct himself so you cut him off.

“It’s a date.” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into a hug that he immediately reciprocates, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist, his chin resting on the top of your head. You give him a final squeeze before pulling away and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Goodnight Eddie, get home safe.”

He was beat red with a flustered look on his face, you had kissed him on the cheek a few times now, but something about this felt different, more intimate.

“Goodnight sweetheart, sleep tight little dude!!” He waved at Oli before giving your forearm a squeeze and walking back towards his car. You sigh as you watch him drive away, knowing you’ll be counting down the days until next weekend.

Taglist: @comic-harley @yujyujj @witchwolflea @ali-r3n @bmunson86 @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @sheneedsrocknroll92 @melodymunson

[1d1195]

Protection VI

You can read Protection here. Hard to believe it's only probably four parts left! This got a little bit away from me, I think. I hope it makes sense!

Here we are: 6.5K words.

Warnings: fluff, smut 18+ only , angst(?)

He wished he could meet her mom. Wished with everything in him he could meet the woman responsible for the girl that drove him mad—mad with annoyance or madly in love. It didn’t matter.

With her new vow to be a downright angel, she knew she was nearly boring to keep watch over. In addition, she had finals coming up; it was hard for her to do anything but study and work. Harry was endlessly helpful and kind. He made runs to get her coffee and read off her flashcards. Quizzed her on all the topics she worried about most throughout the semester, laughing every time she easily corrected his mispronunciation of the scientific words.

“What d’you want t’do once y’get your degree?” He asked.

She smirked. “I’m not sure. At one point I wanted to work for the EPA; sometimes I think about being a professor,” she shrugged. Harry thought if she was his professor, he would have never passed a single class. He would be too busy staring at her. “When I was younger, I watched a bunch of CSI shows with my mom and I wanted to be one of the scientists in the lab. It’s a bit dramatized on TV though, so I put it on the backburner. I could work in the bio-medicinal field,” she explained. “I would get to help make drugs and medicines and things.”

“Y’really like this stuff?” He asked curiously looking at the gibberish words on the cards in his hands.

She smiled excitedly. “A lot, it’s like a puzzle.”

“I’ve done a puzzle before love,” he shook his head. “S’not a puzzle.”

She giggled this adorable giggle that Harry was so smitten for. It was like his favorite song. He started to dream about her laughter. The days he had off seemed endless now—just waiting to come right back to her place and watch a rom-com before she fell asleep. If he had it his way, he would have moved into her second bedroom. He would have requested to be by her side, 24/7.

“When do you do errands?” She asked scribbling something in her notebook. It was approaching nine at night which meant they were going to start a movie to help her relax before she picked up studying as soon as she woke up. Harry was sitting on the sofa as he always did. She sat on the floor, so she had the ability to freely move around her séance circle of papers, note cards, laptop, and textbooks.

“Jus’ usually do it on m’day off,” he shrugged.

She frowned. “We could do them when I’m out and about. It doesn’t seem fair that we’re like...at Target and you can’t grab a few things.”

“S’protocol,” he smiled. Then he chuckled shaking his head at her as she rolled her eyes so hard, she turned her neck along with the motion at his words.

“I hate protocol,” she reminded him.

“I know.”

“When do you see Niall?” He stared at her silently. Wondering how on Earth she knew who Niall was. She glanced at him as she looked over her notes. But then did a double take when he looked at her as if she suddenly grew a second nose. She tilted her head curiously. Harry’s expression went blank as he searched through every moment that he had spoken to her over the last four or so months, trying to remember when he mentioned Niall’s name. After a moment of trying to figure out his hesitation, she giggled, realizing what she had done. “I told you I ran a background check of my own,” she reminded him.

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. She didn’t need a security detail. She was more than capable of protecting herself. Harry was glad he was here all the same, but it was a moment like this that he felt she was independent enough to do whatever she wanted and knew exactly how to save herself. “On m’days off.”

“Did he tell you I ran into him?” She asked.

He shook his head feeling like he was abducted by an alien and put in an alternate dimension. “No,” he put the flashcards on the table. “When did y’see him?”

Her cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink. “I went to the office,” she told him. His eyebrows rose on his forehead. He blinked at her as if he was just seeing her for the first time.

“You what?” His voice was flat.

“I was sure he was going to tell you about it,” she frowned and looked curiously at her papers.

“I haven’t seen him in a bit, he doesn’t always have the same time off as me,” he explained.

She nodded. “Oh...well, I kind of yelled at your supervisor.”

Harry knew she was...headstrong. He had seen the way she spoke to people who made her mad. But somehow, he had a hard time imagining the girl before him going to a government office and yelling at a grown man. What’s more, he was probably scared of her too. Harry was at a loss for words. No idea what to say or do. “You...yelled?” He was practically breathless. The words hardly reached her ears. She yelled at his supervisor.

She nodded again, easily. Obviously. As if that were a regular occurrence. “It was right after my hospital stay,” she murmured. Harry felt his heart freeze over at the mere mention of that awful weekend. If Harry was around, he was never going to let something like that happen to her ever again. He was sure of it. “When you were acting all weird towards me.”

Harry still felt bad that she noticed that. It took over a week for normalcy to come back to him. His supervisor told him it was unacceptable and made them look bad. Unfortunately, Harry full-heartedly agreed and since he was throwing himself a pity party of feeling terrible about it, he let his supervisor help in making him feel worse. “Oh,” he was still so utterly confused. “M’sorry. M’not really following. I...why did you—”

“I...I really...appreciate how you treat me,” she interrupted. She looked up from her papers. “I really do feel safe when you’re around,” she looked at him shyly, through her gorgeous eyelashes that nearly brushed the bottom of her eyebrows. Harry felt like he was melting into her sofa. He had grabbed her flashcards just so he didn’t do something stupid like pull her into his lap and kiss her until he needed oxygen. “So when...you didn’t want to be around me, I was really sad and hurt. More than I think I would have been if...” she shrugged off the rest of the sentence. Harry knew what she meant: more than the reason why she was at the hospital. “You stopped taking the extra shifts and stuff...and I know that you have your own life but...it’s enjoyable to be around you. I didn’t want to run away from you or do stupid things... or any of my normal stuff. But you didn’t want to be around me,” she mumbled quietly. She swallowed the lump in her throat thinking about how truly awful it would be to not see Harry for any length of time. His standoff nature broke her heart, and it was only a few days. She wasn’t sure what would happen when she no longer needed nor had a security detail. “You were all upset, and it was their fault.”

Harry felt so guilty again. “Oh,” he frowned. “M’sorry, love...I jus’...I was so upset that y’got hurt because of me—”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she shook her head. Her tone said there was no arguing with her. They had gone through this already anyway. There was no use in rehashing it. But Harry would probably feel guilty for the rest of his life.

“I would have blamed anyone that was supposed t’keep an eye on you that day,” he tried explaining once more. “S’not...we don’t have t’make it a thing, but I jus’ want y’to know I feel really guilty about it.”

She sighed. “You shouldn’t,” she said simply. Neither spoke, the silence was comfortable though. It was like a warm blanket. She scribbled a bit and Harry flipped through her index cards. “Favorite tree?” She asked quietly.

“Tree?” He smirked. She nodded. He shook his head with a chuckle and thought about trees. Did he even know if he had a favorite tree? “Uh...oak, I guess.”

“Mine’s a Christmas tree.”

“Oh, no fair,” he pouted. “That’s a good one.”

“I want to get a Christmas tree,” she told him. “Maybe we could do that instead of a movie,” she suggested.

“You’re in charge, love.”

She rolled her eyes. “Only kind of.” He smiled. “Favorite number?”

“I don’t have one,” he admitted.

She blinked. “Hmm. Mine is fourteen,” she told him. “I don’t know why. Just speaks to me.”

He would have to remember that. “Favorite cereal?”

A beat of silence. “Coco puffs, I think.”

“What’s your favorite book?” He asked.

She bit the inside of her lip. “I think I’d rather die than pick.” He chuckled at her response.

*

She put on a Christmas rom-com while they decorated the tree. Harry chuckled at some joke on the TV, but she could not be bothered to pay attention. Harry was helping decorate her Christmas tree. Just like how he helped decorate her apartment with a million flowers. Harry paused his decorating, however, to focus on the movie. He stood in the middle of her living room, hands holding the string of lights while he stared at the screen intently. Invested in whatever was happening. Since she couldn’t be bothered to know even the basic plot, she took that time to gaze at Harry without a care. She wondered if it was possible that he had gotten more beautiful. Or maybe she just looked at him differently now.

Her mom would have loved Harry. She could practically picture her saying oh, he’s very handsome, with a little giggle. She would like how he was snippy with her. In fact, she imagined her mom saying something like, you’re too hard on, Harry. Don’t be so mean. She bit the inside of her lip and closed her eyes tightly to keep from crying. Harry had carried the tree from the car to the apartment with ease. It didn’t even look like it was heavy for him. He’s strong too, that’ll be good when you have babies. She shook her head of the daydream. Babies with Harry. Babies that wouldn’t meet their grandma. God, she missed her mom so much.

“Are y’alright, love?” He asked quietly. She blinked her eyes open. He was looking at her nervously. Like all the other times she was hurt in his presence. She worried he would take her to the hospital just for looking upset.

She nodded. “Just...thinking about my mom,” she mumbled and turned her attention to the tree. It wasn’t a lie, not really anyway.

“M’sorry, love. Did...did your mum like Christmas?”

She nodded sullenly. “Was our favorite.”

He looked at her flowery walls. Poinsettias and snowdrops. Harry wished there was mistletoe fixed to the ceiling somewhere. He would stand under it all day with her. He let her mull in silence about her mum. Maybe it was good to think about her. “I don’t know how y’do it.”

“Do what?”

Harry shook his head and shrugged. “Live. Think I would die without m’mum,” he told her.

She smiled weakly, tiredly. “I think a part of me did,” she shrugged. “But...my mom...” she rolled her eyes, and her smile grew as she thought her over. “Oh, she would have...” she giggled making Harry smile. “She would be so mad if I stopped living just because she did.”

Harry nodded. “My mum’s the same way.”

She had only a small bandage on her hand now. Harry had been taking very careful care of it. Making sure it healed properly and didn’t get in her way too much. “I miss her,” she told Harry. “I miss her every day...” she turned to look at Harry again. “She would have loved you.”

Harry felt some kind of pride that he didn’t know he needed. Knowing her favorite person in the universe would have loved him. “Yeah?”

She was all smiles now. Her giggle was infectious. “She would tell me I was being awful for you.”

“Well, then I love her too,” Harry rolled his eyes and he swore his heart grew to fill the entire space of his chest as she laughed her real, unfiltered laugh. He wished he could meet her mom. Wished with everything in him he could meet the woman responsible for the girl that drove him mad—mad with annoyance or madly in love. It didn’t matter.

*

Since Harry had been helping her study—or even since he started and watched her study, he knew all the signs of frustration and burnout. “Love, maybe a break?” He murmured. She shook her head.

“I hate this class.”

“You’re going t’do great, love,” he encouraged.

She rubbed her temples and sighed. “Can...” she looked at him sitting quietly on the other sofa, he was reading a book. She was so boring now, he could sit and read as much as he wanted. He tilted his head at her. “Are you busy?” She asked.

He smiled at her. “Does it look like m’busy?”

She shrugged. “It looks like a good book, is all.”

“M’not busy. Not for you,” he promised.

Her heart fluttered. He wasn’t too busy for her. She bit the inside of her lip. “Could you help me?” She asked quietly.

He folded the corner of the page down and nodded. “Course, love.”

Her asking for help was a really big deal. Normally, he just helped her. It never got to the point of her asking. Hence why it was so monumental when she was alone in the park and called Harry. It had to be nearly catastrophic when she injured herself in the kitchen and she called out for him instinctively. But somehow this moment outshone both of those. Sitting on her floor, papers spread about. Her needing his help to study was some form of intimacy that he wasn’t sure he could fully articulate how...wonderful it was.

He sat beside her on the floor and took her index cards as he was accustomed to doing. The pile was now at least three hundred cards thick. It was no surprise she was nervous. Harry wasn’t sure how she would retain all of it either. She stared at the study guide rubbing her forehead. “Okay...” she sighed. “This section, molecular symmetry and its relationship to vibrational spectroscopy and bonding, is giving me the most trouble.”

He stared at her as she looked over her notes. Harry set aside the section of index cards she didn’t need. She looked adorable, pursed lips and concentrated expression. He still hated the way her forehead creased with worry. He swore she was always two minutes away from a headache because of it and she failed to drink enough water to support her brain.

If I drank enough water, I would be too much for the world. She told him. I’d be unstoppable.

He must have been staring too long because she turned to look at him. “What?” She asked touching her cheek. “Do I have pizza on my face still, you’re supposed—”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re fine, love. Jus’...I literally haven’t a clue what you’re talking ‘bout. Spectroscopy?” He murmured. She smirked and shrugged. “You should have been a florist. Y’wouldn’t have had t’give yourself headaches,” he explained as he got to the section of index cards she referred to.

“Maybe in my next life.”

He chuckled. “D’you believe in a next life?”

She nodded. “For the sake of my mom I do,” she mumbled.

Harry was looking at her, she could feel it on the side of her face. If she looked at him, she was afraid she would burst into tears and never stop. It was something about her apartment being decorated for Christmas that had her feeling so much more...she was so upset that she would never meet Harry. Harry wasn’t even hers. “Your mum would be really proud of you,” he promised.

“I hope so.”

“I know so.”

She looked at him finally. His green eyes met hers and she thought if he wasn’t her bodyguard, she would kiss him and probably never stop kissing him. She would become part of the floor and kiss him until her mouth hurt. Until her lungs screamed for air. He was perfect. Truly. It was awful she made him work so hard up until the past couple weeks. She would never forgive herself for that. He smiled at her. “Do I have pizza on m’face?” He asked.

She shook her head and blushed as she looked back at her study guide. She had to be careful, or she was going to fail merely because Harry was so pretty just sitting beside her, it distracted her.

*

After three hours of studying, they put on a movie. She was practically asleep before it started. Her body slumped across the couch. Harry glanced at her eyes, practically little slits. “Can y’even see?” He asked.

“See enough,” she mumbled. He stood up and draped a soft blanket with a Christmas tree pattern over the length of her. She was in leggings and a long-sleeved T-shirt. She was so pretty. Her hair was pulled to a bun on the top of her head and Harry just wanted to kiss her sleepy, pretty face. She sighed. “M’gonna fall asleep.”

“S’okay, love,” he chuckled sitting back on the other couch.

“M’too tired to get to my room.”

“I can carry you.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

He rolled his eyes and let out a note of laughter. “I don’t mind.”

“I do. M’too heavy.”

“You are not. S’this a comment on m’muscle tone?”

She snorted and cuddled the throw pillow closer to her face. It smushed her cheek against the fabric. Harry wanted to put her in his pocket, she was so adorable. “No...I don’t know...I mean—When do you even have time to work out?”

“I usually jus’ workout in m’time off, or while you’re asleep.”

“You go home at midnight and do a workout?” She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t even want to do a workout past five in the evening.”

He smiled. “You’re not heavy,” he repeated.

“M-hmm...I think I ate my weight in pizza today.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re so stubborn.”

She smiled. “Leave me here,” she mumbled and drifted off to sleep. But Harry was stubborn too, so he carried her to her room. If he could, he would have taken a video of the pair of them just to show her.

“Harry,” she murmured sleepily once she was lying in her comfy bed. Harry’s heart felt like it was going to explode. Her eyes didn’t open, and she didn’t speak again. In fact, she had fallen asleep around him a lot and he had never heard her talk while she dreamed. He wanted to lay down right beside her, hold her, squeeze her. Tell her that he adored her and everything: her exam, stuff with her dad, her missing her mom, and everything her beautiful, brilliant mind worried about would be okay.

But instead, he gently smoothed part of her hair back and left her to dream.

Hopefully, about him.

*

Harry walked up to her apartment and waved to the agent outside as he looked down at his phone. He brought her a coffee to celebrate the end of her exams. The agent left and Harry waited until he was fully gone to let himself into her apartment.

She was on the phone and smiling like it was already Christmas. Like she had gotten the best gift of all.  Harry smirked and placed his stuff at her dining table and then held the coffee up for her to see. She bit the inside of her lip to keep from squealing. Harry settled her cup down on the table as well as she spoke to the other end of her phone. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” she said gratefully. “Happy holidays. Have a wonderful break.”

The moment her phone was on the counter she was running across her apartment and throwing herself at Harry. He staggered back a step at the impact. Her arms tossed around his shoulders, and she sighed as she breathed into his shirt. He was taller than her of course. By at least half a foot. She was on her tiptoes, and it felt like magic to hold her.

Harry felt like when she did this back in August. However, this time obviously didn’t have the hidden pretense of needing protection from some guy that couldn’t take a hint. This was real. She was really throwing herself at him and giggling like a madwoman. He wrapped his arms around her waist giving her a returning squeeze. “Mmm...y’okay there Miss Wildflower?”

She was jittery. But in a good way. She pulled from him, dropping her arms to her sides. Harry regretted asking her if she was alright. He would have much preferred her in the circle of his arms. “My professor emailed me asking me to call him,” she was giddy. Harry was in love. There was no longer a question about it. Her smile, her eyes, everything about her made his chest ache with adoration for her. “I...” she was nearly breathless. “Harry, I got the highest grade on the final.”

He rolled his eyes. Naturally he was proud and happy for her but it wasn’t all that surprising. “Of course, y’did, love. You’re brilliant and y’studied for ages.”

“No, Harry...like...ever. The highest grade ever.”

Oh. That was different. He tilted his head and smirked now understanding her excitement a little more. “Oh?”

She nodded excitedly, rocking back and forth on her feet. “He’s been teaching this course for...” she rolled her eyes. “Over twenty-five years...he was so impressed. He wants me to be his TA next semester, he wants me to do research. He thinks I should be a professor—especially because he wants to retire soon...Harry,” she was still practically bouncing with excitement. She was so adorable Harry didn’t know where to look. “Thank you,” she sighed her expression was so soft. Harry was melting for her. Right onto the floor. Just a puddle of the man he once was.

“Me?” He was shocked she was thanking him. He didn’t do anything. All he did was hold some index cards and mispronounce words for her.

“You helped me study so much...I,” she sighed. “I know I was a pain, and you didn’t deserve all that and you certainly didn’t have to help me after all that either. The studying, the crying about everything, the coffee, the...just putting up with me. It is just...thank you, truly. I am so happy. So unbelievably happy I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in m—”

Harry’s mouth was on hers.

Her brain short-circuited. Harry’s pretty pink lips were finally between hers. His hands were on each side of her face. His body curled down toward her as he kissed her. His lips were soft. So soft she wondered what chapstick he used—literally almost pulled away just to ask. But she was certain she would never pull from his lips. If she died from lack of oxygen, it would be okay. Except she worried Harry would have to do paperwork on it. Her eyes fluttered closed as soon as she felt the touch of his mouth.

Her hands fisted the sides of his shirt pulling him closer toward herself. His tongue gently stroked over her lower lip and then carefully probed at the space between her barely open teeth. Asking for silent permission to let it in her mouth. She moaned when his tongue licked hers. She could feel his heavy inhale and exhale from his nose as he breathed in and out.

Oh, it was so much better than she could have imagined. Better than she could have dreamed. She turned her face upwards allowing more access given his height. He pulled from her mouth, allowing her to breathe. But his lips didn’t stop, he kissed down the side of her throat, making her heart hammer out an unsafe rhythm. She didn’t dare speak; worried she would somehow ruin it.

This cannot be protocol. Why on earth would she care about protocol right now?

If she brought attention to the fact that Harry was willingly kissing her, he would probably stop. He seemed like the type. But instead, he brought his mouth back to hers, curled his arms around her middle long enough to almost crush her to his body. He got her toes off the ground, never stopping his kiss as he maneuvered blindly over to the sitting area. He guided her back carefully, so she went down gently on the sofa and Harry followed right after her, hips between her thighs. She groaned softly at the feeling of Harry pressing against her. This was an awful day to wear jeans. The stiff fabric had no give for her to fully feel and enjoy the way Harry grinded against her. Her leggings would have been much better. One of his hands rested at the back of her neck, his fingers gripping lightly on her hair so he could tug her closer to his mouth. The other touched her side, stroked down over her hip that bent around his waist before he slid down to her outer thigh.

“Harry,” she whimpered his lips breaking from her mouth for a moment to kiss along the side of her neck that didn’t receive attention before.

“What, love?” He mumbled. His voice seemed deeper, sexier.

She was aching everywhere. Harry wasn’t close enough. She wanted him everywhere. Wanted him to fix the ache. She had never needed anyone. Not once in her adulthood had she ever needed help from anyone nor needed anyone so much that her bones ached.

But she had never met Harry until this year. Now she wanted him to make the ache go away. “Please,” she begged.

“Please, what?” His lips brushed over the hollow space at the bottom of her throat. “Tell me,” he murmured. “I’ll give y’anything y’want,” his lips pressed to her collarbone and moved further south down the V of her T-shirt. She made an embarrassing little whiny sound out of her throat. She arched toward his mouth. Desperate for his kiss, his touch. All of it. “Tell me, love.”

She felt dizzy because despite all the stupid things she put him through, she believed he really would do anything she asked of him. The hand on her thigh moved back up toward her shirt and slid just below the hem so his fingers skimmed over her stomach. “Please,” she begged.

“‘Please’ what, kitten?” His voice was so gentle, deep. She wanted to drown in his voice. It made her chest ache to be called a new name. Honey set her on fire. Kitten was going to send her heart to the moon.

But he was smug too. He knew exactly what she wanted. Exactly. He was refusing to give it to her. Refusing to put his hand between her thighs. He brought his lips back to hers, kissing her plead, her question, all rational thought out of her mind.

“Want you,” she whispered.

“Yeah?”

She nodded. It was hard to keep calm when he spoke so gently. When his lips tasted so good and felt so soft. “Please?” She begged again.

“Love,” his voice was gentle. “I want you so bad,” he promised. Her heart felt like it was about to fly right out of her ribs and across the room.

But she still had one little neuron firing in her Harry-obsessed mind. His tone had a ‘but’ in it. She wanted to go back to kissing before she asked. Wanted to feel the lightness that drenched her and Harry as he sprinkled her with hundreds of kisses. Kisses, that if she was being honest with herself, she wanted since the day he knocked on her door for the first time.

But instead, his tone just made her feel terrible. She dropped her head back against the cushion. “S’not protocol,” he mumbled. He trailed his kisses back up her neck.

“Oh for...Harry, fuck protocol,” she moaned. She felt too warm. He chuckled against her making the little breath of laughter tickle and cool her skin. She thought she was going to pass out. She yanked on his shirt hard, trying to get him closer but she sensed it wasn’t going to happen. No matter how hard she tried.

“Easy, love.”

“Easy?” She felt agitated instantly. “M’gonna combust,” she told him breathlessly her head turning to the side.

“Good,” he said smugly pressing a wet kiss to the side of her neck. She flopped back miserably against the sofa again and looked at him through her lashes in that way that drove him crazy with adoration for her.

“You don’t...want me?”

“Kitten,” he tutted disapprovingly. He pressed his hand against her cheek. “Obviously, I want you.” Ever so subtly, his hips dipped against her leg, pressing his hard length against her thigh as proof.

“It’s not obvious,” she frowned sullenly. Even with his erection, it didn’t mean anything. He could just be horny, and she didn’t see Harry with other women often—well ever. She was here and he could just enjoy kissing or whatever. “Then—”

“M’sorry, love s’protocol,” he smirked sadly. “I jus’ want to—”

“Harry, what about me says I give two shits about protocol?” She groaned throwing her arm over her face.

He pulled it away and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I know, kitten,” he kissed the tip of her nose. “I want to,” he promised. “But...I can’t. I can’t right now.”

“Why are you on your period?” She rolled her eyes.

“Would never pin y’as a horny thing, love,” he pressed his lips to her ear. “Is that why y’tense all the time? Just need t’come?” She was silent. Unwilling to be bated by his words into revealing something about herself or admitting she was so fucking hot for him. “M’not gonna...do this with you...not while m’working.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel like she’s begging for sex.”

“Pretty sure y’could convince anyone t’have sex with you without begging.”

“Look in the mirror,” she muttered.

“I adore you,” he promised. His hand cupped the side of her face. “Obviously.”

She pushed him away. “So...what? We’re just going to...make out and dry hump?” She asked, frustration laced in her voice. She paced away from him quickly. Going to her room and shutting the door behind her. It wasn’t to avoid Harry. Actually, she wanted nothing more than to throw herself back at him, immediately. But if he was going to be rational, then she needed space so she could be rational too.

He knocked gently on the door. “Love,” he hummed. “Open the door.”

“No.”

He tried the handle and then sighed when it didn’t move. “Jus’...let me explain.” She waited silently. Now that she could breathe air that wasn’t heavy with Harry’s cologne or with just the scent of him, she was thinking a little more clearly. A little more like herself. He sighed again. “God, you’re annoying,” he mumbled. “I jus’...I can’t...take advantage of you,” he told the door.

“I want it,” she said petulantly. Like Harry was candy that she was being denied on Halloween.

He laughed behind the door. “I know, love. Me too.” She waited in silence again. “I don’t want t’do this while m’working. S’not fair.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s...” there was a small thunk against the door.

“I swear to God, Harry. If you say it’s protocol...” He didn’t speak giving her the answer she needed. “Why’d you kiss me then?” She groaned. “You got me all worked up.”

“I know, love. M’sorry. It was a moment of weakness...I shouldn’t have—”

“So, you really don’t want me?” She repeated sadness on the edge of her voice.

The idea that she was worried about Harry wanting her was killing him. “Kitten, open the door or I’ll break it down.”

She unlocked it and it was out of the way. His lips were back on hers in an instant. Brought her mind right back to the frenzy she felt moments ago. Her breath was lost in his mouth. He cupped her face and pecked at her upper lip as he started to chat with her. “Want nothing more than t’get y’out of your clothes and lay y’down and kiss every inch of your skin.”

If his tongue went in her mouth again she wasn't going to be able to think...maybe ever again. “But?”

“But...s’not...”

She pushed him away as much as she didn't want to, flopped onto her bed with a huff. “Harry, please,” she sighed. “What are we supposed to do? I don’t want you to not be on my detail. But we can’t...be...physical?”

“No...” he smirked. “No, we can’t.” She gazed at him curiously as he emphasized the pronoun. Harry sat beside her touching the inside of her jeans, following the seam to the middle of them below her zipper. Somehow his touch could be felt through the rough denim. She was certain if she was wearing leggings she would have come already. “I don’t want to get fired.”

“Pretty sure you’d get fired for this,” she whispered breathlessly.

He chuckled. “M’not explaining it right, love.”

“No, you’re not. M’feeling very unwanted. Which you know is...like really bad for my psyche,” Harry’s hand was literally between her thighs. He was breaking all kinds of protocol and she was still being annoying about his lack of attention to what she wanted more.

“Honey, I want you so badly,” he promised and brought his other hand to her face. He leaned down to kiss her softly. His fingers tapping almost rhythmically against the center of her jeans. “I can’t have sex with you while m’working. S’a recipe for disaster.” His fingers moved to her zipper, pulled it down. Moved back to her button, unclipped it from it’s place. "We'll figure it out, I'll kiss you and touch y'as much as y'want...but y'gotta lemme do this my way, please," he looked at her apologetically. "Know it doesn't make sense," his fingers were touching the elastic of her underwear. Her breathing hitched. “M’gonna take care of you, now. Okay? S’got nothing t’do with me or the job. S’all you, love. Y’deserve t’feel good.”

“You’re not making any sense,” her voice lacked air—it barely carried to his ears.

“I know, can’t think straight with y’looking so pretty like this,” his fingers dipped in between the opening of her jeans and the outside of her underwear. She moaned softly as his fingers moved over her. Her breath caught in her throat. Swore it stole the oxygen that went to her brain. There were no more brain cells in her head for rational thought. Thank God she took all her exams. “Y’better not fake it for me either. I know the difference in sounds y’made between the guy y’had here in September than when y’use your vibrator.” She wished she could feel embarrassed or angry toward him, but Harry’s fingers were pinching so softly but expertly at her clit she wanted to scream.

She didn’t know Harry could hear her.

“Y’make it so obvious, love. Moaning so loud for someone. S’not how y’do it. Y’get all breathy. Quiet. Hiding it. I know y’hide how y’feel...I don’t know why...but don’t y’dare think ‘bout lying t’me.”

That wasn’t going to be a problem. She had imagined Harry all over her so many times before. She was going to come in twenty seconds. “Oh...” she moaned arching into his touch. His hand slid lower, pushing her underwear out of the way and sinking a finger inside her. “Harry, please,” she begged.

“Oh, s’nice t’hear y’say please, love.”

Oh no. He was going to torture her.

“Didn’t know y’knew how t’be good.” Her toes curled. She tilted her hips up toward his fingers begging for more friction between her thighs. “Thought y’jus’ knew how t’be a pain in the butt. Didn’t know y’had manners.” Her brain was literally fried. It was an entity outside her body. The only thing she knew was Harry’s fingers on her body and his voice. His lips were pressed to her ear as he spoke. All while massaging his fingers in her folds, around her clit, and dipping inside her aching hole. It was like he was in the dark and could only use his sense of touch to find all the spots that drove her mad. She wanted to keep his hand in her pants every moment of every day. His fingers were so long and perfect and she could almost forgive him for not going further.

“Gonna listen t’me?” He asked. She nodded, gasping for air that didn't smell like Harry but enjoying that it did. “Say it,” he murmured. “For all the times y’didn’t.”

“I’ll listen,” she gasped.

“Good,” he continued rubbing leisurely. It was working her up beyond comprehension. She thought about whining at him. Or begging again. He seemed to like that enough that he might take pity on her.

But fortunately, he didn’t make her wait long.

“Come.” The knot in her stomach came undone without her even realizing it was there and ready to unravel. Her eyes fluttered as her body arched toward him. He pressed his mouth back over hers, licking her tongue. “S’a shame he couldn’t do that for you,” he murmured in her ear as her breathing settled. He gently removed his fingers from her pants, zipped and buttoned her back up.

Unironically, it felt like she had been drugged, the waves of dopamine coursing through her. Her eyelids fluttered rapidly as she watched Harry place his finger in his mouth and draw it out slowly. “Can’t wait t’taste you firsthand, kitten.”

This had to be the best day of her life. She passed her exam, she had a job opportunity, a mentor...she had...Harry and his lips and his fingers. Even if she had to figure out why he didn’t want to fully have sex. It didn’t matter. Having Harry like this, lying on her bed looking at her like she was...beautiful...

It was Christmastime. It was perfect.

She was happy. Really happy.

For all the bad stuff that happened to her, all the bad things she felt, it was nice to finally have something good. To have Harry beside her...to have finally kissed him. Those hearts in her eyes had to be back. But she swore as Harry smiled at her, she saw them in his as well. Her brain didn’t need to think about chemical bonding, O-rings, or compounds for a while. She could focus on Harry, his lips, and their movie list.

So why in the bliss of this perfect day, did a foreboding cloud of anxiety take over her mind?

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @youdontcaredoyou @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use

Protection taglist: @youcouldstartacult @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @luxiorchive @ameerakane20 @be-with-me-so-happily @cherryshouse @foreverxholland @tenaciousperfectionunknown @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @cherrystyle

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

[skelswritingcorner]

Explaining an Organic Phenomena (TFP fic)

I bring forth ANOTHER reader character/Buddy who has endometriosis! This is closer to my own experiences with my still undiagnosed condition, though. I use Buddy in this story, but that's because I still need to finalize this Buddy's name.

Word Count: 2.9K

Warnings: Mentioned self harm, mentions of hospital visits, menstrual pain

Story below the cut!

You didn’t expect to end up being involved with an alien’s war, let alone that three of your classmates already knew about them, but you got involved anyway. While you rarely interact with them, preferring to hole yourself up in a small corner to work on assignments, they often pull you into shenanigans anyway. Especially Miko.

The Autobots, as they call themselves, don’t know much about you other than what Jack told them. And he doesn’t know much about you. Most he knows is that at least once a month you end up leaving class early, because it’s the class you have with him that you usually end up leaving for the day, and for the following three days you’re miserable. Jack doesn’t know why either, and you plan on keeping it that way. The only people who get to know about your endometriosis are your family and your doctors.

Well, you at least try. You’ve known them for about two months now, none of them raised an eye at the once-a-monthly absence. Yet. It’s either going to be Ratchet, Optimus, or Smokescreen who will voice any concerns if this happens long enough. Smokescreen, as he’s your Autobot companion assigned to you by Optimus Prime, and Ratchet as he’s a medic.

This is the second period you’ve had since you unwillingly joined them (you blame Miko for this, but also Jack since he’s your neighbor). It was your usual routine during the first day of your period: try to ignore the pain long enough in school, eventually go to the nurse after the pain gets too much for you to focus, then end up being picked up by your mom and brought home.

It was in your class with Miko when you ended up being picked up by your mom. You wrote down something on an index card, giving it to her as you left. She knew what was going on, Miko was the only person outside your immediate family who knew about your condition from you. As you shuffled through to the main entrance, you did see Jack, but ignored him. He was turned away anyway, and you weren’t in the mood to get his attention.

“Where is Buddy? I thought she usually comes with all of you.” Optimus asked. Miko scratched the back of her head before grabbing an index card and showing it to him.

His optics scanned the writing, “I have to leave early, my cramps are getting too much. Tell everyone not to worry about me (especially Ratchet and Smokescreen), I should be there tomorrow.” he read out loud.

“Oh, on the contrary!” Ratchet rebutted, “This happened last month too! And Jack said this happens every single month! Clearly, something’s wrong if this has been happening for years.”

“Well, the only way to confirm if anything’s wrong is to visit her. None of us know where she lives, though.” Raf stated.

“Actually,” Jack countered, “Buddy’s house is right next to mine. Our moms know each other quite well. I don’t think she wants visitors, though. Last time I visited while she was experiencing this she threw something at me, and it hurt.”

Smokescreen entered the room, tilting his head at the lack of his human companion. “Where’s Buddy? I thought she was going to be here.”

“Not here right now,” Miko replied, “she left school early too, needed her mom to pick her up. Girl stuff. I don’t have permission to tell you.”

Smokescreen tilted his head, then turned to Arcee. “Do you know what Miko’s talking about?”

“No, I do not.”

“Then I’m going to find her.” Smokescreen started to walk away, but was stopped by Optimus.

“Smokescreen,” Optimus explained, “I know that you’re concerned for Buddy. However, as Jack is her neighbor, it would draw less suspicion from the Decepticons if he goes to visit her. Jack, do you have Buddy’s contact information?”

“Even better,” Jack pulled out his phone, “I have her mom’s number. Well, I do have Buddy’s number too, but I don’t think she’s going to answer.”

“Excellent. Arcee, go with Jack. Smokescreen, please remain on base, but maintain communications with Arcee.” Optimus ordered. Arcee nodded, and Jack went to grab some of his things before leaving with Arcee.

“Actually, Jackie made a mass displacement machine in case we need to go somewhere that requires someone small.” Bulkhead said, “Arcee might be our smallest member aside from the humans, but I don’t think she can fit through the door of the garage.”

“Absolutely NOT! I believe that would be dangerous. Has Wheeljack even tested it?!” Ratchet turned to Bulkhead, gritting his teeth.

“I’m down to testing it.” Arcee walked to Bulkhead, “Do you know how to operate it?”

“Arcee!” Ratchet exclaimed, “If you really want to do this, I’m going to supervise this.”

♢♢♢

This was not a good day. The cramps were especially bad, so all you could do was writhe in pain on your bed, unable to get anything of substance done. Are the Autobots getting suspicious of this now? The Decepticons? Honestly, the thought of Knockout finding you in this state, hell, even Megatron, made shivers go down your spine. It’s a shame too, you wanted to work on that dress for your project. The one that transforms from a vague black silhouette to a bleeding crimson. Too bad that you’re in pain. Mom went out to do some errands, so she won’t be home for a while. And dad? He doesn’t tell you anything about his work, but you know that it has something to do with the alien robots. Why else would the Decepticons kidnap you the day you were released from the psych ward, before you could even cut off the hospital bracelet? Interrogating you about things you don’t know about?

Who’s texting you right now? Grabbing your phone, you checked to see who messaged you. It was Jack. Of course it would be him, he’s your neighbor! The message said something you wished you didn’t read: ‘Everyone’s worried about you, Arcee and I are coming to your house. Ratchet’s worried too. Don’t throw a textbook at me like last time.’

You wanted to punch Jack so hard right now. Also, it was not a textbook you threw, it was a book about the history of fashion. Get it right, Darby. Angrily typing on your phone, you sent out a message: ‘I’M FINE.’ You then put your phone on the nightstand, curling into the comfort of your blankets.

It should take Jack and Arcee half an hour to get to your house, if they’re coming from the Autobot base. Hopefully, you can just tell them not to worry and leave quickly. They shouldn’t worry about you. Well, June did warn them about your mental health not being the best given what happened over the summer, but the point stands. As long as you’re not alone with your thoughts for too long, you’ll be alright.

There’s a sound that you now know is the ground bridge, and another notification sounded on your phone. So they went the easy route. You grabbed your phone, seeing two dreaded words, ‘We’re here’. God dammit. A door opened, most likely the garage door.

It’s Jack’s voice that you first heard, “Buddy, where are you? Who am I kidding, you’re going to be in your room.” as he spoke, his voice got closer. “Coming in!” and he opened the door. Whoop-de-doo.

“Are you in there?” he asked. You popped your head out of your blanket pile, preparing a plushie to throw at him if he says anything stupid.

“Your room has a lot of… black.” Arcee said, peeking from the hallway. Honestly? She’s right. Nearly everything in your room is black and pastel purple.

Wait. How is she in your house? She’s three times Jack’s size, how did she get in through the door? Wait, she looks smaller than usual…

“Why is Arcee in here?” you asked, biting back a whimper.

“Oh. Wheeljack made some kind of mass displacement machine and needed someone to test it. Smokescreen tried to have himself test it to see you, but Optimus has him on base for now.”

Right. That totally makes sense. Not weird at all.

“He’s worried about you, you know? If it weren’t for Optimus telling him he couldn’t, Smokescreen would be speeding to get to you.”

That’s weird. You thought he hated you. Smokescreen was always belligerent and grumpy when with you, mostly because you insisted on being in control so he wouldn’t break the speed limit and possibly commit involuntary manslaughter. He despised your personality.

“I think he only does that because I was assigned his human partner. I doubt that he’s actually worried for me.” you grumbled, returning to your blanket burrito with the plushie ready to throw.

“Ratchet is also worried, you know? He is a doctor and a-”

You threw the plushie at Jack, full force. Arcee didn’t even try to catch it, leaning against the doorframe nonchalantly. Even when mass displaced, she’d have to crouch to get in.

“Hey! What was that for?” Jack caught the plushie in his hands.

“Well,” Arcee laughed, “Buddy’s up now.”

She’s being sarcastic. You’re still laying on your side, dammit!

Arcee walked into the room, speaking after she knelt in front of you, “Anyway, are you alright? I’m pretty sure Ratchet wants an explanation as to what’s going on, since this is the second time since you’ve joined us that this happened.”

Ough. Eugh. This is going to be difficult. How do you explain menstruation to a robot? They don’t have those parts, at least you think. “Uh,” you winced, not out of pain but out of awkwardness, “It’s very complicated and requires a lesson in human anatomy. June would probably explain it better than I can right now.”

“She’s at work right now, though.” Jack countered. Oh. Right. Hospital stuff.

“...I’ll grab my drawing pad. Just give me a moment to draw some stuff to help explain it.” you got out of your very comfortable blankets, going to your desk to grab your drawing pad, a pen, and a few markers. After finding a blank page, you got to work drawing a basic diagram.

Once you finished drawing, you turned the drawing pad to the two visitors. You pointed the pen to the first drawing; a very badly drawn uterus with a face, “This,” you tapped the drawing, “is the uterus. To the sides are the ovaries, which is where microscopic eggs are held. Every month, usually one egg is released. Before this, a lining grows inside the uterus to prepare for a human baby.”

“An… egg?” Arcee tilted her head.

“Not like the ones you see at the store, those are specifically evolved to grow a baby outside of the mother. These have no shell.”

You shifted your impromptu pointer. If you had your finger ring on, you would be using that to point, “The egg, however, needs to be fertilized in order for a baby to form. This is usually done through… certain acts of pleasure. However, there are treatments in case you can’t get pregnant that way.”

Jack nodded, nonverbally imploring you to continue.

“But this isn’t about how babies are made or grown, this is specifically about what happens when you don’t get pregnant.” You moved the pen to point to another crudely drawn uterus, now with an angry expression and blood coming out from the bottom. “When you don’t get pregnant, then the lining sheds, basically it’s like bleeding. You can’t hold it in, it’s gonna flow whether you want it to or not. This takes several days, and usually causes mild discomfort. This usually starts when reaching teenage years, but I was eleven years old when I first got mine.”

“Wait, you were eleven when that happened?!” Jack’s eyes widened. You just rolled your eyes to continue.

“Sometimes, though, the lining can grow on the outside of the uterus, and end up on other parts of the body,” you tapped the pen on another sketch, with a mess of lines representing the intestines with blobs of red on them, “most often the highest it goes is the intestines, but it can go all the way to the brain. This is called endometriosis, and it causes incredibly painful cramps. I had this confirmed over the summer, after that incident.” you chuckled, “Didn’t even have the chance to get lunch after being discharged before the Decepticons took me.”

“I’m… sorry.” Arcee frowned.

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” you replied.

“It’s not an apology, Buddy, it’s a show of sympathy. I can’t imagine how that feels.” Right. People say sorry sometimes to show sympathy. Something you never got the grasp of. Saying sorry is meant for apologies, is it not?

“Well, I did stab myself to distract from the pain my cramps caused.” you laughed.

Why are Jack and Arcee staring at you like that? They look like they saw a flayed corpse.

Oh. Right. They weren’t told why you were in the hospital. At least June is complying with HIPAA.

“That’s why you were in the hospital?! You stabbed yourself?!” Jack went closer to you, still shocked.

“In two places. And no, I’m not showing the scars. They still look nasty.” It is true though, the stitches might be gone but the scars are still healing. Besides, one of those scars is on your stomach. You’re not showing that to anyone except for medical professionals, or someone you trust enough. The only person that applies is mom.

“Well, at least we now know what’s going on. Is it alright if we tell the others?” Arcee asked.

“Go ahead. Miko already knows, by the way. She even taught me how to pronounce it in Japanese. While there is an actual Japanese word, they just use the loan word.” you answered, “Also, be careful when telling Raf. He’s the youngest of us, I’m sure he’ll be full of questions. I… don’t want him trying to learn more than he should at his age.”

You’ve always felt protective of Rafael. Maybe it’s because deep down you always wanted to feel like a big sister to someone. Another part of you thinks you’re trying to subconsciously manipulate him into your father’s cause. Regardless of why that is, the moment you ended up in cahoots with the Autobots you’ve taken up the role of an older sibling to him. You did your best to not be overbearing or authoritarian, but you tried to help explain certain things to him. He might be a genius, but he’s still the age of a middle schooler. As long as he doesn’t end up behaving like Jack or Miko, he should be okay.

“I assume that you want to stay here, and not go to base.” Jack scratched the back of his head.

You nodded, “I’ll see if I can go tomorrow, depending on how I feel. See y’all tomorrow. Also, don’t tell anyone else the fact that I stabbed myself being why I was in the hospital.”

“I promise. See you tomorrow, Buddy.” Arcee waved, and the both of them left.

After the ground bridge noise was made, you put the drawing stuff away and returned to your blanket burrito after taking some painkillers. Talking with both of them distracted you from the cramps for a good while, surprisingly enough. That’s an achievement.

♢♢♢

“Are you saying that this is caused by a regular human bodily function going wrong?!” Ratchet clenched his hands, eyes wide and jaw slack.

“As far as Buddy said, yes.” Arcee confirmed.

“Yikes,” Miko winced, “I thought my cramps were annoying at best. I can’t imagine what level of cramps she experiences every month.”

“That’s why Buddy’s not here right now?” Smokescreen asked Arcee, who nodded.

Smokescreen sulked in a corner, “Why didn’t she tell me? I’m her partner! And she never said anything about this to me!”

“Buddy might have decided not to tell you since it might make you worry. That, and it’s hard to find a comparison for a Cybertronian lifeform for what she experiences. Even I struggle to wrap my head around it.” Optimus said.

“This could be disastrous.” Arcee replied, “Combined with who her father likely is, we might need to keep a close eye on Buddy. Even more than before. Ratchet, have you ever scanned her?”

Ratchet nodded, “Back when we first found her, yes. Is there something you want me to check?”

Jack piped up, “She said she has two scars, they’re very recent. Did those come up on your scans?”

After some typing, a figure that looked like Buddy showed up on the screen. Two points of trauma, one on her right lower arm’s interior, and one on her midsection. Ratchet nodded, “I was wondering what those were. How did that happen?”

“Not allowed to tell you,” Jack said, “it’s a bit… personal to her. It’s probably best if she tells you herself. I’m not breaking her trust.”

“It’s that bad, huh?” Ratchet sighed, “Very well. I’ll ask Buddy when she’s no longer in pain.”

“Hopefully she’ll be okay tomorrow. She might not feel comfortable coming to base tomorrow. Besides,” Miko cradled her cheeks in her fists while leaning against the railing, “she told me that she’s working on that dress! You know, the one she’s making that has a lot of red… for her sewing class?” The looks of confusion from the others proved that they had no idea what Miko was talking about.

“Nevermind.” Miko grumbled, walking to the couch and sitting next to Rafael. Next time Buddy goes on base, she’s gonna have so much to explain.

[possibilistfanfiction]

surgeons au word prompt - "breathless"

[early days, also if u like climbing this is a bonus fun one lol]

//

you’re already kind of gassed when beatrice gets to the gym, mostly hanging out on the mat with marco and watching jehan slip from a hold on a new v6 over and over again. 

the first time you met beatrice, a few years ago, when she had just moved and was new to the gym, she had climbed a few lower grades and stretched and then quietly and calmly puzzled her way through a hard v7 that you’d been trying to send for days. she’s, like, totally sick and also really reserved, so it’s extra cool when she sits with you and asks about how your landscaping job is going or how your cat is enjoying the new perch you’d gotten, always remembering the most important parts of all the stupid shit you tell her. 

you — and the rest of the guys, too — have also been trying to set her up for, like, two years now. in your opinion, you’d had the best shot with lucia, who you’d flirted with at the coffee shop next door until she laughed kindly and told you she wasn’t interested in men. which, totally cool, because obviously, no offense to jehan, but his sister kind of sucks, so of course that was going to be a bust with someone as cool as beatrice. 

disappointingly, though, she and lucia had decided to just be friends, a huge bummer because beatrice would’ve had a hot girlfriend and danny would’ve owed you twenty bucks, but it’s cool. she climbs on her days off from work — it’s, like, fucking wild to actually know a surgeon — and blows you all out of the water with what seems like just a moderate amount of effort. 

today, though — in addition to the free barbecue your boss had bought for lunch — fucking rocks, because someone very pretty walks in, holding hands with beatrice and smiling as they talk animatedly, using a cane with most steps but gesturing with it when something in their conversation is extra exciting, which makes beatrice smile a smile you’ve definitely never seen before. she had very briefly mentioned a few weeks ago that she had gone on a first date, blushing profusely when you had gotten excited and then flying up a few routes in quick succession, which had made you laugh. you hadn’t gotten anything else out of her, but you’re not offended because she mostly just listens and climbs, always willing to talk you through a route that you’re struggling with that she’s sent before. 

‘hey beatrice,’ you greet, maybe too eagerly, when she stops by the cubbies to put her clogs and jacket away. 

she smiles though — not the same one as earlier, but definitely kind still. ‘hey sam.’ she turns to the person next to her, who is grinning, bouncing on their toes a little even. ’ava, this is sam, one of my friends here. sam, this is ava.’

there’s no more explanation, and you’re momentarily a little worried that ava’s feelings might get hurt, but their happy expression doesn’t change a bit, and they shake your offered hand enthusiastically.

‘i’ve been asking bea for weeks if i could come watch her climb.’

beatrice, for her part, doesn’t change course from where she’s slipping on her climbing shoes, situating a beanie — typical in general for her, but not this pale blue she has on right now — after she’d taken her hoodie off. her t-shirt is also new, worn and faded from a school you know she definitely didn’t go to, and it’s kind of, like, the best day ever. your mom always reminds you that, sometimes, you come on a little too strong when you’re excited, so you take a deep breath and remind yourself to be totally normal.

‘bea’s amazing,’ you say, normal but honest too. 

ava looks toward beatrice fondly. ‘she told me that she was competent, which, in beatrice translation, means totally fucking awesome.’

you laugh.

‘and,’ ava adds, following when beatrice nods once and then chalks her hands, keeping it all inside her bag so neatly — enviable, always — and then stands, silently, in front of a v3, ‘i imagine it’s, like, really hot.’

thankfully, beatrice doesn’t turn around, so she misses your absolute beaming smile at ava. theoretically you guess they could be friends, but you’ve never seen beatrice voluntarily touch another person in two years, so you think, for someone to get to hold beatrice’s hand, to make her happy like that, probably means they’re something. 

beatrice glides through the route, smooth and patient, just warming up, and ava sits down on the edge of the mat next to you and sighs.’ i love being right.’

you laugh. ‘that’s just a warm up for her too.’ sure enough, beatrice stretches a bit and then climbs up and down two v1s in quick and easy succession. she’s calm and fast; even if you can sometimes send routes she’s, honestly, just a little too short for, you’re fairly certain you never make things look effortless. 

‘are you gonna try climbing?’ you ask, because it’s easy and because ava’s only half paying attention to you anyway. jehan and marco start talking to beatrice about the route they’ve been stuck on, and she puts her hands on her hips and looks at it critically, ava watching the whole time.

‘nah,’ he says. ‘i’ve got a lot of hardware in my spine.’ he turns his back to you, and you see a few scars between his shoulder blades, up to the middle of his neck and going down below the hem of his tank too. 

‘dude, gnarly,’ you say, which, like, whoops, maybe, but you’re super relived when ava just laughs.

‘keeps me up and walking most days, but i don’t think i can do that.’ she gestures over to where jehan has gotten stuck, once again, on an admittedly difficult crimp on the overhang. 

‘well, to be fair,’ you say, as jehan walks over to you both in easy defeat, ‘neither can he.’

‘ha ha,’ he says, then smiles and sits down next to ava, offers his hand and introduces himself. ‘you’re here with beatrice?’

‘yeah,’ ava says, softening a little. ‘i’m her — we’re dating? i guess?’

jehan hums, taking his shoes off for a break and sitting back on his hands. ‘well, we’ve tried to set beatrice up with people for years now, and no one has really gotten past a second date, so i’d say you’re doing great.’

ava laughs, delighted. ‘we’ll circle back to all those failed dates later, because that could definitely be mostly your fault.’

‘hey—‘

‘but, i don’t know.’ ava shrugs. ‘i met her at work and things have just felt, like, really good. easy, even if she’s so quiet sometimes. makes my rambling even worse.’

you all laugh. ‘happens to the best of us,’ jehan says.

‘you’re a surgeon too?’

ava nods, a little pride straightening their spine, lifting their shoulders. ‘i’m still just an intern, but, yeah.’

‘that’s so cool,’ you say, and jehan nods in agreement. ‘jehan’s an engineer —‘

‘— very boring —‘

‘— but i barely graduated high school. i can’t imagine eight years after that, jesus christ.’

ava nods. ‘i have a phd, so even more than that.’

‘jesus christ.’

she just laughs. ‘bea was actually my boss, but i charmed her so much she admitted to the chief of surgery she “had feelings for me” and “needed me to switch to another resident’s service” so she could “pursue something.”’ the air quotes give you a moment of pause but then ava gets all soft. ‘which is awesome, because now we can actually date instead of just, like, yearn or whatever.’

‘ah, the yearning,’ marco says, joining you. ‘sounds gay.’

‘it’s about beatrice,’ you say, ’so, yeah, definitely.’

marco introduces themself and gives ava a high five. ‘are you, like, co-yearning now, or do we need to pester beatrice into committing?’

ava’s smile turns smug. ‘oh, she’s committed.’

the three of you whoop happily, which causes beatrice to turn toward all of you with a glare. it’s not intimidating, though, because her eyes are soft when she looks at ava, who shrugs with a smirk.

‘oh, you’re like, beatrice kryptonite, aren’t you?’ marco asks.

‘maybe she’ll finally get dinner with us tonight then,’ you say, excited about the prospect of beatrice actually coming with you to the brewery next door rather than saying next time again and again. ‘if you’re, like, not busy, obviously.’

ava gets a little distracted by beatrice carefully setting her hands on the wall, but he shakes his head. ‘no, we both have tomorrow off. but you owe me a round if i can convince her.’

‘oh, deal. easy.’

ava returns your fist bump but watches, a little breathless, as beatrice gets to the hold that’s been getting all three of you all afternoon. of course — of course — she breezes right through it, getting a foothold that you’d all missed too to send the route.

‘first try,’ jehan whines. ‘not fair, beatrice.’

she laughs from the top of the wall, then climbs halfway down and lands silently on her feet, walks over to you and sits on the edge of the mat.

‘have they been bothering you?’ she asks.

ava shakes her head, delighted. ‘definitely not. i’ve divulged all of your greatest secrets, though.’

beatrice rolls her eyes but she’s clearly happy, happier than you’ve ever seen her, for sure, comfortable and, when she gets up to do one of the hardest routes in the gym, a horrible v10, marco laughs. ’oh, now she’s just showing off,’ they say.

‘yeah,’ you agree when beatrice decides to just dyno the last hold, totally insane, ‘she never climbs like this just for us.’

‘well,’ ava says, ‘i am prettier, no offense.’

you all laugh, and you finally get the v6 with beatrice talking you through it, ava cheering you on. you climb for an hour longer — mostly, you watch beatrice climb and talk to your friends — until she gives up on a v8 and calls it. 

she sits down next to all of you, the kind of tired only climbing makes you, and slips her shoes off. 

‘bea did a six hour valve replacement today,’ ava says, looking at beatrice with overwhelming affection and easily identifiable pride, nothing hidden. ‘so this was extra crazy.’

‘fucking nuts.’ jehan bumps his knuckles with beatrice, who just looks down at her hands, dusting the remaining chalk off, shy all of a sudden, before she stands and pads over to the cubbies to put her hoodie on and gather her things. 

‘she’s, like, our favorite,’ you say. ‘just so you know.’

ava nods, gentle. ‘yeah. she’s my favorite too. it’s good to meet you guys; she loves coming here, even if she won’t tell you.’

you shrug. ‘she shows us everything we get stuck on, so we know.’

beatrice walks back over to get her shoes and, presumably, also ava. 

‘we were just talking about you,’ ava says with a grin, far, far too confident for beatrice to not be wary of. 

‘hmm?’

‘yeah, how you and i are gonna join your friends for dinner next door.’

‘oh, i — uh, well, we have food at my house, and —‘

ava just bats her lashes and puts a hand on beatrice’s hip, runs her thumb under beatrice’s t-shirt for, like, one whole second, before beatrice gives in.

‘fine,’ she says, not sounding overly enthused but she’s relaxed and happy so it’s all a front anyway. and, this time, gentler: ‘fine.’

ava just kisses her cheek and then turns to the three of you and winks.

‘oh, you’re lethal,’ marco says while jehan laughs.

‘one round on me,’ you tell ava.

‘this was a bet?’ beatrice asks, as indignant as she can possibly be holding ava’s hand carefully and still blushing from being pecked on the cheek. 

‘only a bet if there’s a chance for both sides to win,’ ava says, smug as hell, which makes you laugh. ‘but whatever, i want a burger.’

beatrice sighs. ‘well, then, let’s go, i suppose.’

ava ends up getting free rounds of beers for everyone, somehow charming the server, and beatrice just watches quietly, comfortable and pleased.

‘happy for you, dude,’ you say when marco and jehan are showing ava their favorite pinball machine. 

beatrice smiles, genuine. ‘thank you, sam. i’m sorry if i —‘ she shakes her head — ‘i’m glad we get to climb together.’

‘you’re a dope climber,’ you say, ‘and a dope friend. i’m glad too. and ava’s fucking rad.’

beatrice laughs, looks over to where ava is cheering for herself, succeeding at one level of pinball. ‘yes, he is.’

[nickfowlerrr]

know my name - 2

GIF by justarandomgirly

series masterlist

pairing: soft!dark bucky barnes x single mom!reader

warnings: 18+ only. a little bit of angst. not much to warn in this part.

words: about 1.9k

notes: a little context if you care to listen. (more to come. thank you for reading!)

the before:

It’s quiet as Bucky watches Steve from the window of the cafe; a small smile threatening to break out on his face as he watches Steve attempt to figure out how to feed the meter.

It’s not too long after he’s parked that Steve makes his way inside the cafe, spotting Bucky instantly as he sits in the far back, darkened corner of the place - right next to the window. Similar spot every place they meet at. As secluded as he can get while still ensuring he has his vantage point.

A cup of black coffee he hasn’t touched sits before him as Steve moves to join him at the small table.

“Long time no see, Buck,” he greets with an easy smile as he scoots his chair in.

“Did you see her?” Bucky asks, skipping the pleasantries altogether. He doesn’t want to be asked Steve’s typical questions; he knows he means well, he’s just worried about him, just wants to look out for him, but he isn’t in the right state to be around anyone for long right now. Especially not the people he cares about the most.

He still isn’t himself. He knows it. He can feel it. He’s a living, breathing, barely human, killing machine that could be triggered at any moment.

He won’t risk it.

Steve is maybe the only person in the world who could stand a chance at stopping him god forbid anything happened.

Steve knows this, and even without Bucky having told him, he still would’ve known exactly what he was thinking. Why he kept his distance, why he kept moving around, too paranoid to settle anywhere, to let his guard down even just a little and get some much deserved peace…

Bucky would keep him in the loop on where he was and let him know he was okay, despite the fact that they both knew Steve was tracking him still, too. Bucky didn’t mind, though- it almost gave him a little peace of mind. If anything happened, if he did anything, Steve would come running. He’d stop him, in his dedicated fight to ‘save’ him.

He always had some speech ready every time they met up, trying to convince him to come with him to the compound, to join the team.

It’s not that Bucky didn’t want to, it was that he couldn’t. He was nothing more than a ticking time bomb. And until he was deactivated, he had to keep his distance.

From everyone.

From you.

There were so many times Bucky almost gave in. So many times he almost went to you. He had your name, knew where you lived, where you worked, he knew where to find you, but he didn’t trust himself enough to. He didn’t know if…

It was torture not being able to see you in person, to know if you were okay or not. He finally decided that if he couldn’t let himself check on you, he needed to get someone he trusted to do it for him. And there was only one person he trusted.

He doesn’t know why, doesn’t know how, but you’ve never left his mind - not once from the day he first saw you. You were always there somewhere. Your eyes haunting his restless nights in the most beautiful way. A constant. A comfort. Not one he deserved, but one he treasured nonetheless.

He needed to know how you were. Needed eyes on you. So the last time he met up with Steve, he asked him this favor.

“There’s a girl,” he’d said, “I need you to check up on her for me. Don’t mention me,” he’d looked away, “just…just make sure she’s okay. Please.”

Steve agreed, didn’t ask a single question why or how he knew you. He just agreed.

Then once more before he left that day, he tried to push a bit again at getting Bucky to come with him. He always had that little bit of push. He had to try.

But Steve wouldn’t push him today, at least not on a hello. He had a lot to talk to Bucky about.

“I wanted to talk to you about that…” he began, a little unease audible in his voice, “were you two.. I mean, was it..?” he trailed off, unsure exactly how to ask the question that had been pulling at him all week.

Bucky understood what he was getting at instantly. He didn’t think much before he answered, maybe a bit too harshly.

“No,” he denied sharply, looking almost embarrassed. “No, it’s not like that. I just,” he took a breath, looking off for a second out the window. He shook his head before returning his gaze back to Steve, “You saw her then?”

Steve stared back at him, quiet for a moment while worry lingered in his eyes.

“Yeah,” he answered, “I did.”

“And?” Bucky prompted, wholly invested as he leaned in closer to him.

“She seems fine. Good,” he assured him. “She’s,” Steve looked down at his hands for a split second as he thought about his words, “she’s nice,” he decided on.

Nice? The word stuck out to Bucky but he didn’t harp on it. He didn’t need your personality analysis, he just needed to know you were okay.

More, he needed to ensure you would stay that way. Especially if he was going where he was planning on soon.

“So, you two never…” Steve raised his brows as he tried to wordlessly get his meaning across.

“No,” Bucky groused. “I’ve ne- we’ve never,” he cleared his throat, “she’s never met…me.” He couldn’t look Steve in the eye. Didn’t want to see his reaction when he understood what he meant. “Not me as me.”

He could hear the breath Steve took before he responded. “Oh,” was all he offered. A long moment of silence stretched between them, or so it felt. Really it was only a few seconds before Steve continued.

“Well…Will she ever?” he asked sincerely curious, eyes soft and understanding.

Bucky looked at him then. He had to fight the emotions that were suddenly threatening to overwhelm him. Yes. No. Maybe. Never. Maybe… one day. He knew what he wanted, what he hoped and longed for… but he didn’t know.

So he didn’t answer.

“That place you were telling me about,” he changed the subject, squeezing his hands together as they were folded in front of him on the table, “Wakanda?”

“Wakanda, yeah,” Steve affirmed as he sat a bit straighter, surprised and hopeful at Bucky’s mentioning of it.”What about it?”

“You said they, you think they might be able to help me. How sure are you?”

“One hundred percent, Buck.”

“And you trust them?”

“With my life,” he nodded.

Bucky nodded in turn.

“How soon do you think I’d be able to go?”

“Within the week,” Steve answered. “Suri’s been asking about you. She wants to help, she has some treatment ideas - nothing you can’t object to,” he added, “but we can call her and arrange a jet. I can go with you, get you settled over there if you’re serious, make sure everything is good.” Steve’s hope was palpable, it finally got a small smile to Bucky’s lips.

“You’ve done a helluva a lot for me already, Steve,” Bucky breathed a humorless laugh.

“You’d do the same for me,” Steve said easily, smiling back. “So do you really want to go? I can start getting everything set tonight.”

Bucky swallowed hard.

“Yeah,” he answered, his vulnerability breaking into his voice as he spoke quietly, an almost ashamed murmur under his breath, “I think I need to.”

Steve didn’t say anything, but not a second after Bucky spoke, he felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder. He squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

“I’ll be right there with you, pal.”

Another set of soft smiles was shared between them before they started making their plans.

Time flew by like it always did when they were together and soon enough they were parting ways again. Not for as long this time, though. Thursday would see Steve picking Bucky up from his latest stay and heading to the jet that would take them to Wakanda.

Steve kept his word, stayed by Bucky’s side until everything was settled there. Suri would keep him updated, and he was sure things would work out.

When the time finally came for him to head back to the states, back to the compound, back to work, he did so with one more promise to keep.

When they were saying their ‘see ya later’s, Bucky stopped Steve’s departure with one more request. The only one, in Bucky’s mind, that truly mattered.

“The girl,” Bucky spoke lowly, “I need you to watch out for her, Steve. Make sure she stays okay, stays safe,” he urges, the importance of his request clear in his intent gaze.

Steve couldn’t help but scoff at the request, not maliciously, more disbelieving.

“What do you expect me to do, Buck? Become best friends with her?“

Bucky didn’t know, but that would probably be easier than his words would imply telling from their first meeting. Steve pretended to accidentally knock into her at her frequented coffee shop, spilling her drink and getting her name before buying her a new one - plus a scone. They ended up sitting at a little table together, talking for longer than he’d intended before she gave him her number and they parted ways. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t tell Bucky that part… He seemed very protective of her, so he told himself he didn’t want to cloud Bucky’s mind with any needless details - didn’t want to distract him from his healing here. And that’s all he wanted to know, wasn’t it? That she was okay? She was okay. And nice.

Sweet.

A little shy, but still friendly…

Beautiful, the stray thought wandered into his head.

Bucky huffs a laugh, shaking his head, “Do whatever you have to do, just,” he sighs, “please, Steve, make sure she’s okay.”

Steve nods, “I will. I promise, I will.” He goes in for a hug that Bucky returns, continuing as they’re embraced, “And I’ll be back next chance I get.”

“Lookin’ forward to it already, pal,” Bucky says as he pats Steve’s shoulder when he pulls away. “Thank you,” he says, sincerity shining in his eyes, “for everything.”

Truly, his entire life he’d been grateful for his best friend. But even more now. With Steve’s help, he felt like once he was done here, when he was himself again, he’d be able to live a life he’d always wanted. A normal life.

And maybe, if he was really lucky, that life could include you.

“And what if she asks about you? What do you want me to say?” Steve questions as he turns at the threshold of the door. Bucky winces at the question but neither of them mention it. He swallows hard and clears his throat.

“She won’t,” he says assuredly. “I told you she doesn’t…” he looks off, a little agitated - pained. “And don’t bring me up, don’t mention me. Alright?”

Steve nods, not convinced but again, not wanting to cause any more distress to him right now.

“Alright,” he agrees for the moment. “You need me, you call me,” he points, shifting the energy between them.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky brushes off with a wry smile. “Will do, punk.”

A/N: thank you for reading! we will get into how bucky knows reader in the next part…