#I thought why add unrequited love to that list
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You don’t give a character this much trauma…
…just to end their story in more heartbreak and tragedy.
#byler#When I first realized that Will was in love with Mike I was honestly just confused#not because it didn’t make sense for Will to love him#but because I didn't understand why the writers felt the need to make him suffer even more than he already had#He's had enough traumatic experiences to last a lifetime#I thought why add unrequited love to that list#And not just for anyone but for his best friend#and not just any best friend#but his male best friend#and not just in any decade#but in the 80s#It just felt so unbelievably cruel#That is till I realized that it all felt so wrong because that’s not what his story is about#And that’s not how a character arc works#He can’t start the series a victim stay a victim and end a victim#That’s an awful and deeply unsatisfying arc for any character#let alone a child character that has been shown to have endured immense pain and suffering throughout his entire life#Anything short of a happy ending would send the message that some people will always be victims#and that certain people don’t deserve to be happy or get what they want#To avoid sending that message#Will needs a win#and not one that is bittersweet#He needs to finally get what he deserves#which is EVERYTHING considering the poor thing has literally been put through hell#His win is long overdue#so whatever he wants#that’s what he needs to get#and he wants Mike#Mike is part of his win#stranger things
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Day 1 - Painland Week
Day 1 of Painland Week 2024: August 5th - August 11th by @painlandweek
Prompt: Language of Love
Tags: Post-canon, Slice-of-life, Alive Niko Sasaki
TW: None
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“And that is another case closed,” Edwin says, moving the card to the correct column. “Charles, you were brilliant. Very good job.”
“Crystal, add another one to the list.” Niko doesn’t raise her head from the sofa, so the words are a bit muffled, but Crystal nods, busying herself with her phone.
“Will you explain what it is you two are doing? You’ve been talking about this list for days now,” complains Edwin, not liking the feeling of missing pieces of information.
“Not yet, we will explain when we have significant statistical data,” Crystal says cryptically. Her smirk only makes Edwin’s unease grow.
Charles puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and laughs. “I’m sure it’s nothing to be worried about, mate.”
Crystal and Niko nod at each other in silence, and the former focuses back on her phone.
Edwin’s eyebrows furrow. It’s been six months since they came back from Port Townsend, they have managed to save Niko from the Neitherlands and have created this new normality in which Niko and Crystal live next door to their office in London, go to school in the mornings and solve cases with them in the afternoon. And while it is probably true that this secret list they are keeping is something harmless - otherwise they would be more secretive about it - he has a bad feeling about it.
“Crystal, I’ll have you know that people have been speaking behind my back for the entirety of my human life and I am not keen on repeating that experience now with people I consider actual friends.” He knows it is a very low blow to use their friendship as a leverage like this, but he is tired of not understanding.
It has the expected result, because Crystal grimaces, and Niko’s lips turn downwards. The two exchange another look and Crystal huffs. “Ok, fine, I’ll tell you. But you are no fun.”
He can’t help the pleased smile from his face.
“We are keeping score of how many times a day you two say ‘I love you’ to one another,” Crystal continues. “For now, Charles is winning.”
“What?” He and Charles say at the same time.
“Yeah, look,” says Crystal, turning her phone to show a blank screen with two columns marked ‘Edwin’ and ‘Charles’. There are twelve tick marks under Charles’ name and eight under Edwin’s.
“I know you don’t like me very much, Crystal, but I didn’t think you would be so cruel.” Edwin told them all in confidence about his unrequited feelings and Charles’ response that nothing would have to change, because he thought it was fair, and to avoid awkwardness with Crystal in case she and Charles wanted to continue to pursue their relationship. It was not something he thought would be used against him.
“Didn’t you hear what I just said? Charles is winning.”
Charles levels her with a stare, as if in warning, slowly removing his hand from Edwin’s shoulder - he pretends not to be disappointed.
Niko, who had been silent until then, stands up solemnly. “We love you, and we want you to be happy, but your dancing around each other is getting worse every day, and we think you need a push.”
“I don’t understand, surely I did not say that I love Charles eight times since you started that list.” He doesn’t add that most definitely Charles did not because they all know how things stand between them.
“There are more ways to say ‘I love you’ than just the words,” Niko continues. “We have been observing you, your love language is words of affirmation” - she points to Edwin - “while Charles uses all of them except that one. This is why you don’t understand each other.”
Edwin has never been more confused in his life. “What is a love language?”
“It’s the way you express your love, there is gift giving, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of services, and quality time,” she counts with her fingers. “For example, you just complimented Charles on a job well done, that’s ‘word of affirmation’, and yesterday when we were leaving, he asked you to read to him while you two rested, that’s ‘quality time’.”
“Two days ago, at the art exhibition, Charles made me buy three art books he thought you would like, ‘gift giving’,” Crystal continues. “And I am sure I don’t need to explain ‘physical touch’, right?” she looks pointedly at his shoulder where Charles’ hand had been just a moment prior.
Edwin smooths out a nonexistent wrinkle from his jacket with his hands. “That means nothing. We are best friends, of course we show various forms of affection to one another. It is not a romantic thing to comfort someone or buy them a gift.”
Niko takes his hands in her own to stop their fidgeting, which he is grateful for because it gives him something to focus on other than the way his head is spinning.
“You’ve been best friends for an entire lifetime,” says Crystal, “and you still can’t go one day without swearing eternal devotion to one another. We were just trying to give you two some solid evidence to mull over, you are detectives, deduce what you want.” With that, she shoves her phone in Charles’ hand and turns to the door. “Come on, Niko, let’s go to sleep, it’s late and I still have some readings to do for school.”
Niko squeezes Edwin’s hands reassuringly one more time before letting go and following Crystal out of the door, with a cheerful “see you tomorrow”.
“I apologise, Charles, I did not anticipate they would try to pressure you like this when I told them about my feelings. I just meant to clear the air between me and Crystal, to explain my initial jealousy.”
Charles is unusually still, looking at Crystal’s phone in his hands.
“Are you okay?”
At his concerned tone, the easy smile instantly reappears in Charles’ face. “Sure, aces.”
“So, you are not cross at me?”
“Course not, why would I be?” Charles continues, but he does not meet his eyes.
“I will talk to Niko tomorrow, and try to get them to drop this.”
Charles looks distant, like he is not really listening to him. He decides to give him some space and goes to check their new potential cases on the board in order to change the subject.
“What do you think about this haunted house? It’s probably just children pulling pranks, but maybe we should check it out?”
“They’re right, aren’t they?” Charles says.
“Who? The children?”
Edwin turns to look at him, confused, and the smile that appears on Charles’ face is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He would clutch his heart if he still had one.
“I noticed it too, I just didn’t want to stop and think about what it meant, but that’s not fair.”
“I- what?” Edwin’s mind seems to have stopped working.
Charles looks sheepish. “I have been more flirty and affectionate towards you after, you know…” He doesn’t say Hell, because it’s a word they try not to pronounce too often, but he doesn’t need to.
“Charles, please, let’s not reopen this discussion. Yes, you love me, as a friend, I have never doubted it. It is different from the way I love you and things are perfect the way they are.”
“No, that’s the thing. I am not good with words, but I have been thinking about it, and I have been showing it, with actions, I just didn’t realise I was doing it until they pointed it out. I will have to buy Crystal and Niko the biggest cake ever.”
This is the last straw, the prank has been going on far too long. “So what, now you are buying them a gift, in this stupid scenario they planted in your head does that mean you are in love with them too?”
Charles seems to break out of a daze at the words. “No, of course not. I don’t spend every moment of every day thinking about what could surprise them, or make them happy, or what new things we could try together, that only applies to you. It has always applied to you and it always will.”
Edwin is having an increasingly hard time in not letting hope consume him. “Please, let’s be serious.”
“But I am!” Charles shakes his head, walking closer. “When you confessed to me, I didn’t really know what ‘being in love’ meant, but I do know this feeling. And maybe if I stop pretending that nothing changed, I can find the right words to express it, too.”
“Is this a very elaborate way to ask me to hug you more in return?”
Charles grins mischievously. “I mean… I wouldn’t complain.”
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misc. bribelle thoughts
prefacing this by saying bribelle is my favorite ship. actually might be one of my favorite all time ships considering whenever i catch 11:11 i make a tweet on my priv twitter saying “11:11 bribelle and rarijack” because i’m insane.
anywho…
i think it’s a lot easier to justify saying faybelle potentially has feelings for briar in a canon context because even aside from her diary, her behavior in epic winter can most definitely be read with flirtatious undertones, especially after witnessing the dream sequence
but i’m always trying to justify things to myself in accordance to canon without feeling ooc, because i’m the type of creative who would rather write my own original thing than make alterations to a pre-existing work. that’s just me.
and briar is trickier to do so with. in the show alone, she only actually verbally responds to faybelle once and it’s a line that also adds exposition. “but it’s forbidden!” girl come on throw faybelle a bone at least…
by epic winter, i’d say briar could potentially have had surface level attraction to faybelle, but it isn’t until having that dream and probably especially post-epic winter when she’d get time to actually reflect on it that she’d start to develop palpable feelings for her.
i’ve kinda noticed something about briar: she likes attention. i guess she’s kinda like faybelle in that respect.
briar grew up with neglectful parents. fill in the blanks. why wouldn’t she want attention when she lacks it properly from the two most important people in her life?
along this line of thinking, briar especially values explicit displays of affection, particularly from a potential romantic partner.
so, regrettably, let’s look at her relationship with hopper.
i.e. briar’s behavior in the webisode “Here Comes Cupid.”
when she first confronts hopper about his unconventional advances, she’s disinterested and borderline repulsed.
but after hearing him profess his love via the recording, she’s taken aback and actually grows endeared.
until this BAFOON fumbles the bag and does some really creepy shit by leaning into her personal space and calling her hot. understandably, this miffs briar and she once again loses interest.
(side note, too many people ignore how blatantly creepy hopper is to women, ESPECIALLY briar. he needs to be held accountable, not rewarded by getting the girl.)
even then, despite not necessarily returning his affections, she’s somewhat comfortable in the status quo that he devotes his attention to her. which is exactly why i think in bunny’s diary (bunny is wrong btw she doesn’t know a damn thing so idk why the one wiki that’s not the official wiki list hopper as briars crush when the source is bunny’s word like fuck all) bunny mentions observing briar appearing disappointed when ginger asks hopper to the dance and he accepts.
to briar, it’s like she’s losing one of the few things she’s familiar with, the few constants in her life. in this case, her only plausible option who she’d have reason to believe would accept. and we all know how briar is about losing things.
briar sorta settles into this state of fondness towards hopper’s affections, despite them being unrequited. because at least he gives a damn about her.
faybelle—at least, outside of her diary and up until epic winter—might as well be any villain; faybelle just wants to cause chaos for the sake of ruining somebody’s day. and i don’t think briar likes it that way.
i’d assume around the time of faybelle’s introduction to the series, briar’s stance would be one of upset towards faybelle, believing she doesn’t take their story as seriously as she(briar) does. that her role in sleeping beauty isn’t as important to her as being evil in general.
i have half the mind to say that this could potentially be read from briar’s behavior in faybelle’s diary.
first off, that underlining wasn’t added; the underlines are in the official print. meaning briar is putting emphasis on those words specifically. sure it’s a lesson to faybelle about not being an asshole, but also it reflects on briar in a way. like it could be her saying, “you’re supposed to be my villain, but you act like i’m no different to you than anyone else.”
now, this next part is obviously a surface-level gag about faybelle making a malicious act seem so thrilling, but if we close our eyes and pretend that we’re in a different world called I.D.G.A.F. dimension, we can now analyze this in a different light.
briar’s confused by faybelle’s verbal expression of almost-affection. it doesn’t help that she’s most definitely barely awake. but i’m willing to say her confusion is partially born out of actually having heard faybelle say such a thing. it’s gotta be surprising and hard to believe in that moment, because briar has every reason to think otherwise.
in the show, like i said, faybelle just does whatever the fuck. open a sweat shop? sure why not. assist her peer’s mom in attempting to turn the entire world into her own dictatorship? count her in. make a deal with the mafia? just a regular tuesday. but god forbid she focus on being the one to make the sleeping happen in sleeping beauty.
i think that irks briar. or at least make her generally act indifferent when faybelle comes waltzing around to do god knows what; if she won’t care, why should briar, right?
then there’s epic winter. or, as i like to call it in bribelle terms, “they finally fucking interacted”
when briar explains faybelle’s inclusion of herself to crystal, she simply says it’s her thing and cites the sleeping beauty story. like “hey crystal this is my villain btw, trust.”
later when briar’s yapping about the story, some may say it’s counterproductive in relation to briar’s arc that ashlynn brings up the miserable part of it only for briar to talk fondly of it, but i know briar personally, and have been filled in as to what the truth is.
briar dropped that attitude because faybelle was there. she started talking up the story, almost as a cue to faybelle, like “hey remember how you’re like a big part of my life’s purpose???”
faybelle butts in about it. and briar doesn’t get the chance to respond, but i think she was almost expecting faybelle NOT to gaf, so her doing so threw her off just a little. maybe she expected to hear something like “who cares?” instead.
then of course when they get to the castle briar’s little act is dropped and her deep fear of the sleeping beauty destiny is once again present. and of fucking COURSE that’s when faybelle decides to CARE ABOUT THEIR STORY.
listen to me, LISTEN. briar looks at faybelle BEFORE faybelle actually says “no, there’s another room far more important to our story. isn’t there, briar?” she looks at her BEFORE she actually talks. she was looking to see if she’d react, then when faybelle does speak she looks away, then she bumps her to get her attention so briar has to fight the adhd and lock in.
and faybelle just keeps instigating which honestly kinda takes briar out of her typical sulking over her destiny mood and more of like ‘what is your game here exactly’ mindset.
there’s so much to that look briar gives her. so many emotions in there.
after this they go up and faybelle taunts some more only for briar to almost actually prick her finger yada yada. and like i said, it’s a lot easier to understand faybelle’s pov. it’s very clear she doesn’t actually wanna go through with cursing briar, teasing and all. she makes as much obvious by her reaction alone when briar gets too close.
but once briar’s fine she’s like ‘yeah, okay, back to normal,’ meanwhile briar is kinda just done because faybelle is acting a fool. but she never shoves faybelle off of her unlike she did when hopper intruded on her boundaries huh briar why is that what’s that about briar still, briar has yet to have any indication from faybelle about how she actually feels in regards to their story and her role in it. or how it pertains to their relationship with each other. rather, faybelle doesn’t take it seriously much to briar’s chagrin.
then the dream sequence happens.
to me, this is the turning point.
it’s a stupid music video for an insert song, but goddamnit it confirmed darabella and even hunter got to be there with ashlynn so i’ll die standing on business.
this is what briar’s been waiting for from faybelle. that frenemy status is something i think briar wants to figure out which one to see faybelle as, depending on how she really wants to proceed with the story. and i’d say faybelle surprises her; hell, she even shows her a side of her rarely seen.
like with hopper, an outward display of affection such as this is something briar is drawn to. faybelle’s display towards briar in the dream sequence is something briar would be endeared by, as she goes out of her way to prevent her from experiencing the very thing she’s been dreading for so long. that’s gotta fit briar’s love language.
side note, i think it’s very very interesting to note that faybelle is the one to swoop in and save briar in this case, without any other characters present to show a significance in the ending of the story. i say this because hunter gets to be in ashlynn’s sequence and the bears are in blondie’s, despite none of them being in the tower asleep. all this is to say, if briar really did have feelings for hopper or really was gonna end up with him or some guy, they’d be there, right? but nope, just faybelle. I Understand.
after that we don’t really see them interact at all again, but there’s the general disdain for faybelle’s actions as a shared sentiment amongst the others. either way, by the end she shows remorse and seemingly ends on good terms with everyone, meaning i don’t see why briar wouldn’t be left thinking about the dream, seeing her in a whole new light. honestly briar would probably be kinda intrigued by the idea of the bad girl having a soft side for her. briar and i actually spoke about this the other day.
either way, this is briar learning that despite the general ignorance faybelle portrayed, she actually does care about her.
faybelle demonstrating, proving to briar that she is capable of showing affection and actually does care for her is what i think is enough for briar to begin to start falling. (which is kinda reflected in how i approached their relationship in fable fest.)
because briar knows there might actually be something there.
or maybe it’s a kid’s cartoon and one girl mean other one nice, idk.
#guess how many mental illnesses i have#2 digit number#that’s an exaggeration#point still stands#i cry when i think about bribelle#eah#ever after high#briar beauty#faybelle thorn#bribelle#briar x faybelle#briar and faybelle#ramble#duncontent#i’m half asleep so i pray i hope i don’t wake up going “who let me post this!”
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The latest UtR update on AO3 got me hooked and I could no longer constrain myself and had to read the other chapters on Patreon. Now I need to know: does Lucien have any redeeming character traits in the series or can I add him straight to the list of characters that deserve the worst? That attitude of his towards Faber made me so mad lmao
Hi anon!
This actually reminds me of the ask I got recently about how awful Augus is as a character and how it's impossible to consider him through a positive light after reading Falling Falling Stars. Because that's how he seems if you've never read him in anything else of mine!
My narrators are unreliable, anon. We only ever see Lucien very briefly through the jealous eyes of an insecure man.
(Spoilers for a future brief verbal encounter between Lucien and Faber in Underline the Red).
Lucien is an extremely vulnerable omega who is in an institution that has temporary custody of him. They control what he eats, what he does, whether he leaves or not (i.e. he's functionally imprisoned), who fucks him, if he gets to see anyone else, if he can talk to his partner and family back home and how often. He has significant psychiatric issues around his own insecurities re: jealously and his partner, and he clocks Faber as being in love with Caleb, and he's right.
And that's incredibly unethical of Faber, honestly, to not have disclosed any of this to Dr Gary (like Dr Gary will be right to consider firing him over this in the future). It puts Lucien's mental health in direct and severe jeopardy, and is ironically likely what causes his relapse that causes Caleb to suggest domestic discipline in the first place (oh, Faber, the irony).
Because Lucien's there to learn that actually a lot of his jealousy and insecurity is unfounded. Instead, he learns the opposite, that no matter who he bonds with, someone else is there loving his potential partner while he perceives himself as having very little control (and in the case of Hillview - this is true, all he has are his words).
He's a chronically disabled omega who needs a disability aid (walking stick) to get around, he's a second class citizen, he's agreed with his partner to stay at Hillview because they both recognise how sick he's getting.
Faber is not a mental health patient/omega like Lucien is. He's a staff member who is nursing unrequited loved to an alpha companion, that he's refused to disclose, while still interacting with Caleb and his omegas. Imho, while Lucien is very good at lashing out, he's not wrong to, and that's why Faber fully acknowledges what Lucien is saying and listens to him, and basically never interacts with him again, and avoids Caleb where possible.
Lucien's mean about it, but Lucien is right re: Faber trying to hide his feelings because he knows what will happen if people find out, and that it's also wrong/unfair to put Lucien in that position.
And Faber knows that.
So yeah. The reader is meant to hate Lucien on a surface level, in the same way that Faber does.
But consider that Faber also sometimes seems to hate all omegas. He finds the smell of their heats disgusting. It's actually pretty normal for people to go through a phase of rejecting the thing that they are, if that's something hated in society. Faber's oscillating mixed feelings of bitterness, resentment and cutting attitude is actually mirrored in Lucien.
Faber has thought extremely savage, scathing and unforgiving things himself to the people around him (and himself). Lucien responds to Faber like Faber is an omega (something Faber doesn't recognise yet), because Faber...kind of acts like one in moments like that. (Efnisien also picks up on this, Faber is not great to him in the beginning of Underline the Black, in a very specific way designed for Efnisien to pick up on, and for Gary to miss. Faber behaves jealously, and constantly suggests to Gary that he should get rid of Efnisien, before he finally adjusts to the absence of Gary in his life. Faber is possessive and manipulative!)
Lucien ultimately doesn't need any redeeming characteristics because he's a victim who is at Hillview to heal and Faber is jeopardising that. We can hate him, but that's just the fact. He didn't try to kill Kadek when he arrived at Hillview, he hasn't tried to destroy memories of James, things Efnisien has done even though we love him all the same (ideally). Lucien felt understandably jealous/insecure (literally the thing he's at Hillview to be treated for, safe from people who will be in love with his lover until Faber) and he lashed out meanly.
If a staff member of Hillview can't handle some rude words, they shouldn't work there.
But yeah, I like the Lucien and Faber encounter because they are both extremely similar people in some ways. They are both bitter, jealous, resentful people capable of very scathing thoughts (and words). The only difference is that in that moment, Faber is the recipient and we feel bad for him. I mean, I do feel bad for him. Faber is in a bad place psychologically, it's a horrible thing for him to experience.
If we were getting Lucien's story from his perspective, and saw the panic attacks he had afterwards, and the regression he went through, etc. it might be different. But it doesn't have to be! Lucien in that moment functions as a reality check for Faber, and a very effective one at that. We're meant to hate him, but also meant to understand that Faber's love for Caleb is not as subtle as he thinks it is in the sense that - omegas can see it for what it is.
I personally like the one moment where we see that Lucien might have a heart when Faber admits his parents are dead, and we can see that he doesn't react with savage satisfaction, but like Faber broke the narrative he'd built for himself in his own insecure, jealous, scared mind.
#asks and answers#underline the red#faber castle#lucien beaumont#efnisien ap wledig#dr gary konowalous#i've been writing for a long time now and generally speaking#if i want readers to hate a character they will#even if i really like that character#i really like lucien even if he can be a mean-spirited little goblin#when he's terrified of his future and potential security#but idk anon many of my characters#can be mean-spirited little goblins#efnisien introduced himself in this series with a panic stabbing#gary was a dickhead who imprisoned him until he pissed himself#no one here is a good guy#we just get to feel like they are when we read from their perspective#i love meaty characters so much#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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Business Proposal || knj (3/?)
pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au
Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love
Warnings: slow burn, angst, namjoon is pretty much not the nicest dude lol (will add more as it progresses), kinda sugar daddy au but not really. It will make sense I promise.
Rating: mature, 18+
w.c: 6.5k
Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”
prev || next || m.list
a/n: Kind off a filler chapter, but also let the drama commence we are literally just getting started haha. Again, I’m going to be pretty busy for the next month so I don’t know when I’ll upload another part. But I hope you like this one and as always lmk your thoughts. Thank you.xx
The knot in your throat is hard to ignore as you put away your belongings in cardboard boxes. The tiny apartment that served as your home is looking more barren with the more things you take down and pack. Jungkook always made fun of you for giving meaning to silly things and getting attached to them. He calls you a hoarder and maybe he is correct about you hoarding shit you don’t ever need, but you call yourself a collector.
Why else would you have twenty different pots and pans in different colors. Plates and bowls in different shapes, sizes and designs. And you don’t even want to think about all the mugs you’ve accumulated over the years. Or the little trinkets that are carefully scattered all over your apartment with purpose. Or the tiny shelves with miscellaneous pictures of different moments in your life. Your clothes are a different story you haven’t even made a dent in the pile sitting on top of your bed, and you’ve already packed two full suitcases.
You’re grateful for Jungkook, and that he’s here just looking at you with judgment instead of voicing his negative opinions about you not being able to let go of shit. Though, he keeps reminding you that most of your things might be put in storage anyway. Namjoon is very particular and according to Jungkook nothing cute or with colors other than indigo, black, white and beige exist in his apartment.
“What about this?” Jungkook holds out a tiny black rabbit figurine in between his thumb and forefinger. You got it at a street market a few years ago because you believed it would bring you good luck. Though, you aren’t sure where that luck has gone because you certainly have none of it right now.
“I’m keeping it.” You hold out your hand and he places it, in the middle of your palm rolling his eyes.
“You’re going to have to get rid of something Bunny.” He says as his hands fall down by his sides in defeat. “My brother’s not going to let you keep any of this.” He signals to the many boxes you have already packed.
You shrug, folding up the last of your winter sweaters and placing them neatly in the box in front of you. “But I can still decorate my room how I want so I don’t care, plus I already got rid of some kitchenware.”
Jungkook sighs, “Yeah after I literally fought with you for an hour. And you still have so much of it, I don’t know how you expect Namjoon to agree to keeping an air fryer, a coffee machine, purple pans, that weird pot that kinda looks like a toy, and a hot pink blender. Don’t even get me started on the weird heart shaped bowls or that one plate that looks like cheese or the twenty five mugs you kept.” He lists with his fingers before running a hand through his hair. “I’m telling you he’s as minimalist as the word suggests.”
“Kookie, they're so cute I can’t get rid of them.” You argue, “plus they mean a lot to me.” You close the box in front of you and tape it shut. Last night you decided that all your winter stuff will be going into the storage unit in Namjoon’s apartment building. If what Jungkook says it’s true and that his brother literally has nothing. Then you can only assume so does his storage unit. Plus he’s already offered it to you.
“They’re ceramic.”
“So, I got them all for a different purpose in different moments of my life therefore they mean a lot to me.” You say sternly and stand up.
“Whatever you say.” He puts his hands up in defeat and turns around to the shelf he had been working on taking down. “Honestly now I’m kinda glad you are going to be living with Joon, seeing him irritated is amusing.”
You roll your eyes moving to the pile on your bed. Putting away your summer clothes is next on your to-do list.
“Why do you have so many clothes anyway?” Jungkook whispers from behind you, making you groan, throwing the pale yellow shirt you have picked up in his direction.
“Why are you being so annoying today?”
Jungkook slyly smiles. It only irritates you more. He may be a full year older than you but sometimes he could be more annoying than your actual younger brother. “You can’t answer a question with a question.” He bites back, picking up a skimpy baby blue lace cheekster. “You’re going to wear this in front of my brother?” He cringes holding it out as if it were the plague.
The embarrassment is evident on your face as you snatch it away and throw it somewhere behind you. “If you’re not going to be of help, get out.” You spit out, avoiding his eyes as he bends over in laughter.
You let out an annoyed sigh, picking up an oversized blue button down and folding it. “
“I’m just fucking with you Bunny. You can wear whatever you want in front of my brother. Just give me a heads up before I walk in on the two of you–you know.” He gestures inappropriately with his hand, earning a glare from you, which only makes him laugh again.
“No I do not know because whatever you’re insinuating will never happen.”
“That’s what you say now.” He accuses, squinting his eyes in suspicion.
You pick up a lavender blouse with white flowers on it and throw it in his direction. “Make yourself useful and start folding.”
Jungkook smiles widely, throwing your blouse over your shoulder. He reaches out and pinches your cheek. You swat his hand away forcefully. He winks at you before saying, “You make it so easy to fuck with you, Bunny.” He starts folding your shirt and adds, “I thought I taught you better, where’s your back bone?”
“Keep talking and I’ll show you how well I remember all those self defense moves you taught me years ago.”
The pizza arrived at exactly ten. The movers had arrived an hour earlier, taking your bed, lounge chair, desk, kitchen table, kitchenware and old decorations. Everything else you had like your clothes and small miscellaneous things were in boxes waiting to be loaded into Jungkook’s car. Your old couch was on the curb waiting to be picked up by the donation trucks.
Now, you and Jungkook were sitting in your living room–old living room–with a Hawaiian pizza and two large beers in between the two of you. Your brother and his wife left as soon as the movers did. So, it was just a lonely last dinner in your apartment with Jungkook.
“You can always just move in with me.” Jungkook speaks up taking a big swing from his beer can. “I have like three spare mattresses and Bam recently learned to not get up on the couch without permission.” He mapped out, picking up another slice of pizza.
You throw the pineapple slice you have picked off into the box. As much as you had fought the shaggy haired man against his decision even bringing up your pineapple allergy. You had lost the very intense game of rock, paper scissors twenty minutes earlier.
“No thank you. I’d rather not be subjected to your 4am drunk karaoke sessions. Or wake up to you moaning in the kitchen because of food you’ve made.” You shrug, biting into your pizza slice. “Plus you bring too many people home with you and I enjoy my sleep.”
“I don’t do that anymore.” He shrugs, throwing the crust of the pizza into the box and grabbing another slice. It’s blasphemous how he loves pineapple on pizza–no hate to pineapple on pizza lovers, if you didn’t have a deadly pineapple allergy you’re sure you would love it–but he hates the best part of a pizza. Which is by far the crust.
“Which part?” You tilt your head to the side.
“Bringing people home. I stopped doing that years ago, Bunny, keep up.” He rolls his eyes, biting into his pizza and groaning as if it’s the most delicious thing ever.
You cringe. “This is what I mean. Why do you make everything sound so sexual?”
He swallows, “Why do you take everything so sexual?” He fights back, raising a knowing eyebrow at you.
“You can’t answer a question with a question.”
“You can’t answer my question by repeating my statement from earlier.”
You shake your head, grabbing his abandoned crust. “I take back everything I just said. This is the real reason as to why I can’t live with you.” You bite into it, smiling in delight.
“Cause’ I’m irresistible.” He winks.
“No, because you’re so annoying. I will never see a moment of peace.”
Jungkook laughs, throwing another perfectly edible crust into the box and grabbing another slice. “But you love me, right Bunny?”
You shake your head, swallowing and taking a swing from your beer. “Sadly, I do.”
Jungkook smiles, throwing you a thumbs up and a cheeky wink. You laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.
After a moment you look around your empty apartment, remembering how everything was perfectly laid out. The tiny frames of pictures of you, your family and your friends that used to decorate your walls. The abstract art piece that was hung on the wall behind your couch. Taehyung had gifted it to you after he disappeared for a few weeks in a crazy burst of inspiration. He said the bright colors reminded him of you, because somehow you always made him feel a little brighter no matter what.
You recall the little figurines that were placed on your useless tv unit because in the seven years that you lived in this apartment you never once bought a tv. They were miscellaneous things that were as useless as the unit but they meant a lot to you. Each one was handpicked by you for a purpose. The rabbit you had bought at a Lunar New Year market years ago. The ceramic watercolor-esque jewelry dish, you had found at a flea market. It was home to your crystals and not your actual jewelry, with the exception of your dad’s class ring that you had borrowed and never gave back.
Everything felt empty, even your fridge. It used to be decorated with magnets from places you had visited over the years. It had to-do lists and many sticky notes with affirmations written in ink splattered handwriting.
The night you first moved into the apartment it was hell. It was your first time living alone and every little sound sent a wave of panic through you. You had to call Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook to sleep over because you wholeheartedly believed someone would break in. Eventually things got simpler and you made your spaces yours. You never thought you’d grow attached to such a place, but you spent many nights dancing with just your string lights on. Singing at the top of your lungs. And crying because you missed your parents and brother. It was your home and even though your lease was up soon. It felt strange to not renew it again.
It almost felt like you were leaving a piece of yourself behind. A piece you never knew you had discovered until now.
“Bunny, don’t cry.” Jungkook coos beside you. The pizza is long forgotten, the box thrown haphazardly to the side as he brings you into his arms. “I know it’s hard but if we are being honest here you were outgrowing this place.”
You sniff, placing your head on top of his shoulder. “I would’ve made more room.”
Jungkook chuckles, carding his hand down your back, sending shivers up your spine. “You would’ve become a crazy hoarder. There was barely any space with all the shit you had.”
“That’s mean.” You shove him lightly. After a while of silence you speak up again. “This was my home Jungkook. I knew that I was eventually going to move out but I thought it would be because I was getting married.”
“You are getting married.” He deadpans, making you shove him even harder. He laughs.
“This doesn’t count, you know it’s not real.”
Jungkook waves you off, cradling his stomach as he bends over laughing, making you roll your eyes. “I was just trying to lighten up the mood. You know you’re always welcome at my place.” He wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you close again. “And I know things are rocky between you tweedle dee and tweedle dum. But Jimin and Taehyung will always have your back too.”
You sigh at the mention of Jimin’s name. It’s been two weeks since you last spoke to him and Taehyung. They have been ignoring your calls and texts. You’ve even thought about emailing them, but you’re well aware that neither of them have opened up their emails since college. You just hope that one day–soon–they’ll let you explain everything to them.
“I really hope so, Kookie.
Namjoon has been pacing in his living room since he woke up at four in the morning. He’s only had about four hours of sleep since he spent his entire afternoon and night clearing out his guest bedroom. It used to be his study, but he never once used it to do his work. The creaky old desk he got at a vintage shop a couple years ago was more of a showpiece. He had no issue parting ways with it. That was the easy part then came the bookshelf he once thought of using as a way to display his favorite artist books. But his research kept him occupied and he never once got around to it.
Parting ways with his books was something he never once thought he would have difficulty with. He made three piles; keep, maybe keep, give away. Everytime he put a book in the give away pile he would move it to the maybe pile and eventually the keep pile. It went on like this until midnight when he decided to abandon the task and go to sleep. He didn’t expect his thoughts to wake him up at four in the morning. They were racing like they had some sort of urgency. And now he was wide awake in his living room with the same three piles, one overflowing more than the others.
If he had more space in his book shelves in the living room he would have no problem, but those shelves were also ones he needed to sort out. Not to mention the huge stack of to be read books occupying the space between his couch and favorite chair.
He doesn’t know how he let things get so out of hand. Though, everything seemed like a mess in his brain. Especially at this time at night. He knows if anything changed about where things were placed he would have a mental breakdown trying to look for something.
It's how things worked in his brain. It’s also probably the reason why he was unable to sleep. Now, because of his wild idea to have you move in with him. He knows things will change around his house. Apart from his vast collection of art, books and his plants, everything else in his apartment lacked any soul and emotion. He used to love coming home when he first moved in years ago, but slowly the light started to get sucked out of his place.
Subconsciously he knows that’s why he asked you to move in with him in the first place. It wasn’t his mom visiting unexpectedly or that carpooling to work would save him gas and his carbon footprint. It was because he missed coming home to something that had life.
That’s something he will never get himself to admit. Not outloud and especially not to himself. And now you’re set to arrive in fifteen minutes. He still hasn’t finished sorting out his books or done a very good job at pushing away that agonizing thought or the excitement and nerves. He’s been keeping himself occupied for hours but all he has done is wonder.
What do you look like when you go to sleep?
What do you look like when you wake up?
Do you still sleep with numerous stuffed animals?
Will you secretly place your little trinkets around his home without him noticing?
Do you eat breakfast or just have coffee?
Will you like having him around?
They’ve been moving so fast that he can’t grasp onto one. The second he brushes one off another one comes to the surface and it’s driving him insane. Sure, he doesn’t feel anything for you. Not then and certainly not now, but he is looking forward to getting to know you better. What makes you laugh and what makes you tick? Are you a stay at home person on the weekend? Or do you go out with your friends to catch up? Do you bring work home like he does? Or do you leave it all in the office and relax for the rest of the evening?
Again, these are thoughts he will never let himself admit out loud, but he has them and he just hopes they go away the second you ring his doorbell.
As if on cue, the chime brings him out of his daze. He puts down the current book he was holding–The Secret History by Donna Tartt. It’s the book you gave him for his birthday back then. You had read it about five times before giving it to him saying he would “absolutely love it.” Since then he’s read it numerous times. The paperback is fading a little bit; he's tried to get rid of it for years but for some reason he can never seem to get himself to do so.
He puts it in the keep pile and stands up. Rubbing his sweaty palms on his black cotton shorts, as he makes his way to the front door. He’s already had five cups of coffee but suddenly he feels the fatigue wash over him as soon as he puts his hand on his doorknob.
Namjoon takes a deep breath, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and opens the door, revealing a very casual looking you. You’re wearing gray sweatpants, a black tank top with a white knitted cover up. Jungkook and his signature black on black outfit stands by your side.
This is the moment he realizes that a new chapter of his book is about to commence.
Whoever told Namjoon that living on the top floor of the highest building in the world–note exaggeration–should be held responsible for the back ache you’re surely going to be dealing with at night.
It’s taken about ten trips for you, Jungkook, Namjoon and the movers to get all of your stuff inside of Namjoon’s home. It also doesn’t help that the owner of the very bland looking home keeps barking orders to not scratch the floors and watch for the art hanging on his walls. Understandable, but he could at least be a bit nicer. After all it’s his fault you’re in this mess in the first place.
“How can someone have so much shit?” Namjoon seethes as he places your last box in his living room. It’s not even an organized mess anymore. It’s downright a mess and he is close to losing it.
Jungkook laughs, taking a well deserved break on his couch, feet on top of his black coffee table. “You should’ve seen all the shit she didn’t keep.” He says, stretching his arms up and overhead. “This isn’t even half of it. You should be thanking me for convincing her to give away all the shit she didn’t need or use and she still kept some of it.”
“Hey,” you give Jungkook a pointed stare. “Everything has its purpose, sooner or later I was going to use them.”
“You didn’t need fifty different mugs. You literally only ever used the same five. And you didn’t need all those little ceramic figurines that absolutely served no purpose.” Jungkook argues, crossing his arms in front of him. He hasn’t slept and he has you to thank because all you did during the night while you stayed at his house was pace back and forth and clean his already clean apartment.
He understands that you were nervous but you could’ve been a little quieter or you could’ve let him sleep. Instead, you woke him up to keep you company while you rambled on and on and on about how this was a horrible idea. But what was he supposed to say? Everything he wanted to tell you, he had already said. In order to avoid sounding like a broken record he just listened to you rant while moving in and out of consciousness.
“Please tell me you didn’t bring fifty mugs to my house.” Namjoon says, scrunching his eyebrows and putting his hands on his hips. You sit on the floor in front of a box labeled kitchen and open it up.
“No, just twenty five of them.”
Namjoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. This was already starting out on a bad note. He only has one mug for his coffee and it’s been very useful since he’s moved in. He forgets that even though he’s a minimalist in some ways. You’re a maximist. Your bedroom back home was proof enough.
Your desk was always filled with crap and numerous journals. Your walls had different kinds of posters and tiny strips of pictures you had taken with your friends on a night out in whatever photobooth you could find. He doesn’t want to even get into the stuffed animals or the twenty different pillows you kept on your bed when you only slept with one.
He supposes some things just never change.
“We don’t need twenty five different mugs, or–” He looks into the box he had set on the kitchen counter and sighs, “--six different pans.” He brings out a white and purple one and another one the same color just slightly bigger. Your colorful aura is already clashing with his monochrome one. He has no idea if they will mix well.
“Believe me, you say that now, but I can guarantee you that one day you’re going to be searching for a specific pan while cooking and you’re going to thank me for keeping these.” The words spill out of your mouth with confidence and he can’t help but roll his eyes. Out of spite he will do everything in his power to make sure that day never comes.
Jungkook stands up and claps his hands in front of him. “Alright idiots, I have a date in like two hours, so we either get your bed built Bunny or you sleep on this lovely couch.” He interrupts in pointing to Namjoon’s not so comfy looking couch.
You stand up, trying to keep your mouth from going agape, this was certainly a huge surprise. Jungkook simply didn’t date. “With who?” You walk to him with your hands on your hips. Namjoon and your mugs have been completely forgotten.
“With my bed.” He winks and you groan. You knew it was too good to be true. “Now, come on, I don't understand why you picked the most complicated bed frame to build. There are more screws than anything I’ve ever gotten from IKEA and as simple as they try to make the instructions it still takes me five hours to build one shelf.” He walks past you and into the hallway leading up to rooms.
“They are easy to understand, you're just an idiot.” Namjoon speaks up, and you bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing. This is how things were back then, clowning on Jungkook together. They were simple before feelings were involved, and you only wonder that if you kept your mouth shut would things still be that way.
Except you know that deep down they wouldn’t because neither of you would be in this situation. You can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Whatever the answer to that is, you don’t want to find out, even more so now.
You ignore Namjoon’s comment and follow in Jungkook’s footsteps. The last thing you want is for him to break your beloved bedframe and you end up on Namjoon’s couch until you can afford to buy a new one. It’s this moment in particular that you miss Taehyung and Jimin the most. (Though, since falling out everything made you miss them.) It took them a full hour to assemble it together with minimal complaints. You know it would’ve taken them nothing to take it apart, but now you will never know.
Jungkook stayed true to his word and left one hour later than when he said he would. It took him and Namjoon fighting a couple of times for your bed frame to finally be complete. And during his final hour before he left on his date. He helped you move the rest of your furniture into the room, including your precious desk, armchair and the numerous boxes of clothes books and decorations you had packed.
During this time, Namjoon had barely spoken to you, except for the occasional “pass me the (insert name of tool,)” he directed towards you. Then he disappeared into the kitchen while you instructed Jungkook on where to place your belongings. Now, the filter was gone and you were left alone in a hollowed out house with its equally hollowed out owner.
You were keeping yourself occupied with hanging up your clothes when you heard a crash followed by a curse of pain coming from the kitchen. On instinct you ran out to find Namjoon holding his foot, mumbling profanities.
You swallow, placing your hands inside the pocket of your sweatpants. “Are you okay?”
Namjoon looks up, eyes full of water as he quickly releases his foot and clears his throat. “Umm, yeah, I just dropped one of your pots on my foot.” He brushes off, proceeding to pick up the pot Jungkook claims looks like a toy and places it on the counter. “I hope you don’t mind that I started to unpack the kitchen stuff. All the boxes were kind of driving me a little crazy.” He scratches the back of his neck, then points to the empty stack of boxes by the couch.
You shake your head. “Just show me where everything is so I don’t go crazy looking for shit tomorrow morning.” You say, walking towards the kitchen and stopping once you get to the other side of the counter.
He nods, and proceeds to move around. “Mugs and cups go here.” He opens the cabinet above the stove, showing you how neatly he arranged your colorful array of mugs by color and size. “The plates are here.” He moves over one cabinet and opens it, revealing three wooden racks full of your plates and his plates. “And I put the bowls up there. I know it's hard to reach but we can get a step stool or something.” He shrugs and then moves around the counter standing beside you. “You didn’t have a lot of utensils but the ones I found I put in here.” He opens up a drawer, and as expected everything was organized as neatly as possible in one of those kitchen drawer organizers. Forks, spoons, knives and chopsticks had their own compartment. You took note as you didn’t want to mess anything up.
If you were going to be living with him until further notice. Stepping on his toes and messing with his organization was something you didn’t intend on doing.
“I was just getting started on putting the pots and pans away, also I don’t know where to put your knife set since I already have one.” He says pointing to the box containing your pastel colored set of knives. Maybe you should’ve listened to Jungkook when he said you actually didn’t need them. They were just too cute to let go.
“That’s fine.” You wave your hand, discreetly taking two steps away from him. “Do you want any help?”
Namjoon pauses for a moment after he closes the drawer. He looks at the marble countertop in front of him in thought and then you. His gaze is hardened and unreadable. A look you’ve come to familiarize yourself with in the past few days that you’ve had to spend with him. It’s one he uses when the two of you are alone. You won’t lie, it annoys you a little.
“No, that’s okay. I was just going to put them in the cabinet next to the sink.” He speaks up before rounding the corner and standing in his original spot. You nod and take a step back.
“I guess I’ll be in my room unpacking. Don’t continue dropping things on your foot.” Your attempt at a joke goes ignored as he gives you a deadpan look before focusing his attention on the pot in front of him.
It’s strange how he hasn’t continued to complain about you having so much stuff. Or how he hasn’t declined anything you brought with you. He’s simply accepted it and is finding space for it. The complete opposite of what you imagined he would do. Once again he’s rendered you speechless and you have no idea if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“I’ll try not to.”
It’s around two in the morning when you finally leave your new room. Namjoon’s living room–well you suppose it is now your living room too–is vacant. You let out a sigh of relief. The only reason why you left your room in the first place was because your stomach was growling and you couldn’t sleep.
You aren’t sure if Namjoon is asleep or if he’s in his room avoiding you all together. Could he really be just as childish as you? You want to believe the answer to that question is a big fat yes. But then again that’s only because you want to make yourself feel like you're not the only coward now living in this house.
Still, he didn’t come seeking you after he briefly showed you around the kitchen. So, maybe you aren’t the only one who just doesn’t know what to say to the other person. How do you simply start a conversation without bringing up your past together?
There are so many things left unsaid. So many things that happened that night that have haunted you for years. So many things that broke down your character as everything unfolded right before your eyes. A part of you blames him for what ended up happening. Though, that’s only because it was easier to blame him than to blame yourself.
Even if your therapist and Jimin and Jungkook told you that nothing was your fault. It still felt like it was, especially because you only wanted to piss off Namjoon more than you already had. Maybe then he would finally have a reason to hate you, but again, he’s never really known what happened apart from your fight.
Nor, do you think you can tell him. In fear that he would look at you differently and put the blame on you. Just like you have done for years.
“You couldn’t sleep either?” Namjoon’s voice sounds from behind you, making you jump. You turn around meeting his piercing eyes as he makes his way into his kitchen.
“Nope, it’s a new space so everything feels weird.” You shrug, taking a seat on one of the island stools. “And I’m hungry.” You add, thinking it will somehow help your already valid reason.
Namjoon nods before opening his fridge. “I ordered chicken earlier, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted some or wanted me to bother you, but I saved you some.” He takes out the box and places it on the counter, moving around expertly before taking out one of your pans. See you knew they would come in handy. “I’ll heat it up for you.” He places it on the stove and turns the dial to a medium heat.
Your eyes grow wide as you start to get up. “You don’t have to, I can do it myself.”
Namjoon doesn’t have to face you, for you to know he’s rolled his eyes at your comment. “I don’t, but it gives me something to do. I’m not tired.” He shrugs, hovering his hand over the middle of the pan, to check if it was hot. Once he deems it hot enough he reaches over and grabs the leftover box of the chicken, dumping the sweet and sour delights into the pan.
You choose not to reply to him and instead look around. There were only a few boxes left for you to unpack, most of them being miscellaneous decoration pieces you had collected over the years. You know that as much as Namjoon didn’t mind having your kitchen ware mingle with his. You knew he wasn’t going to let you mess around with his minimalist aesthetic. Maybe you would just have to slowly find space for them. But maybe it was best that you didn’t. A couple of days ago he made it pretty clear that you weren’t something permanent in his life. So, why pretend like you were?
“Mom wanted us to go to brunch tomorrow, but I told her no. I figured you wanted to finish settling down before work on Monday.” Namjoon speaks up over the sizzling sound of the chicken.
Your head snaps to face him. “You didn’t have to do that, I could’ve finished unpacking over the week.”
Namjoon looks over at you and shakes his head. Before you can snap at him for whatever reason he speaks up. “You told me to keep in mind that you are your own person and that I can’t keep making decisions for you, and when I consider how you may feel about living things unfinished you tell me that I could’ve done the opposite of what you asked.” He reaches over and turns off the knob and turns to face you. “I don’t understand you.”
The audacity he has to spring up a decision he made like it was for your betterment is impalpable. Somehow him being somewhat considerate and listening to you, but at the same time not listening to you makes you want to scream. Instead, you close your eyes, feeling your appetite run away from you. “Yet, you just did exactly that.”
Namjoon tilts his head in confusion, taking the pan off the stove and bringing it over to where you’re sitting. “How? I did exactly what you wanted me to do. I told her no because I knew you would be tired after a whole day of moving.” He places down a heat mat and puts the pan over it.
You shake your head in disbelief. “No, you decided for me. You didn’t tell me your mother invited us over for brunch and instead told her we couldn’t go because I was going to be too tired when you don’t even know that.” You eye him as he takes out a pair of chopsticks. He stops once the words you’ve said sink in and glares at you.
“I don’t know what you want me to do? I agreed to meet you in the middle, I even agreed to your ridiculous list of demands and when I do, you say that that’s not what you wanted.” He places the chopsticks in front of you and scoffs.
You cross your arms in front of you. “But you didn’t meet me in the middle. Meeting me in the middle would be telling me that your mom invited us over and then hearing what I had to say about it. But instead you decided for me, you’re still not understanding.”
Namjoon groans, running a frustrated hand through his already messy bedhead. “Then please spell it out for me because I’m trying but you always have to fucking complicate things.”
“I’m not the one complicating things here. It’s simple, you only have to tell me things and then I’ll decide what I want or don’t want.”
Namjoon signs leaning his forearms on his marble counter, his arm veins popping out as he grips edge trying to regulate his anger. “This is exactly why?”
“Why what?” You push yourself off the chair, leaving your untouched chicken as you push in the stool.
“Why I would never marry you. You look too much into things and when someone calls you out on it you blame them. You’re just too difficult to deal with.” He says through clenched teeth.
You dig your nails into the palms of your hand. He has the nerve to throw one of your biggest insecurities back at you. It’s the reason why all of your past serious relationships have ended. Apart from the fact that they’ve always gotten bored and found someone new. It’s also the reason why your childhood best friends aren’t talking to you. You’re too much to deal with. So, why are you here in the first place?
“Then why did you come up with this whole elaborate plan?” Your voice is just above a whisper as you angrily keep yourself as composed as possible.
Namjoon pushes himself off the counter and stalks over to you. “I already told you because it’s not permanent. Trust me if my father had more time you wouldn’t be standing here.” He spits out and stops in front of you. “You’re not someone worthy of spending a life with.”
Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat as you blink back tears. This shouldn’t be affecting you as much as it is. Especially because it’s something he’s hinted at since he first proposed the plan to you. But for some reason it does, especially his last comment. He knows that one of your biggest dreams is to get married and start a family. He also knows that all your previous partners have left you for the same reason. And he also knows that it will hurt you if he keeps repeating it. Almost as if he believes that you don’t understand how serious he is about keeping you as a temporary placement in his life.
Back then you would’ve yelled and cried. Yet, that girl was broken down and replaced as quickly as it took him to leave you and all the memories you shared together behind. So, you stand your ground, burning holes into his dragon like eyes and say, “Trust me when I say that you’re the person I hate the most in this world. That I might be difficult but you’re impossible. Your head is so big that you can’t see that the reason why you can’t seem to keep anyone around is because you push them away thinking you’re better than everyone else. It’s the reason why you might keep the money from your dad’s will but also the reason why you will end up alone.”
When you finish you can tell he’s taken your words to heart, that much you know from the fire burning behind his perfect brown eyes. Instead of responding he does the one thing you never expected him to do.
He kisses you.
a/n: lol I’m sorry.
#kdiarynet#btshoneyhive#bts imagines#bts fanfiction#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts angst#bts smut#bts scenarios#bts namjoon#bts x reader#namjoon smut#namjoon imagines#namjoon fic#namjoon fanfic#namjoon x reader
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how long can you stand the heat || ot7
Warnings: Uhhh, none I think? Non-graphical smut and slight angst, but that's pretty much it for now since I'm still crafting the next part, and some curse words lmao.
I won't control you, but MDNI. This is not for you, please.
Pairings: OT7/(F) Reader, Jackson Wang/(F) Reader
Plot: The one where your soulmates don't want you in their life, so you give them what they want and stay out of their way.
Genre: not really unrequited love (but they're all idiots), mutual pining, angst, denial of feelings, poly ot7
How do you think I'm going to get along
Without you when you're gone?
You took me for everything that I had
And kicked me out on my own.
Are you happy? Are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat.
mixtape: all i have left to give - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ending 1
I originally posted this on ao3 last April but I've just recently thought, "why not post this on tumblr now that i'm using it again after a few years?"
this fic is v self-serving, and was brought to you by my ✨maladaptive daydreams✨
first fic i posted here. idek what im doing but lezzgawwww
Title obviously came from AOBTD. Thank you, Sir John Deacon. You are heaven-sent for making this iconic and legendary bop.
This will be a part of a multi-fic series and i've already crafted 80/90-ish% of the next part im so sorry my mind isn't cooperating rn
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God must be testing your patience.
I mean sure, you might not also be sure that there is indeed a god out there somewhere. However, you must have pissed off some deity or you had pissed on some old man of the mound. Either way, you don't care. You're pissed off now, too.
You see when they rejected you and asked (read: avoided you like the plague until Sejin spoke with you) not to speak or interact with them, you respected their wishes. It stung, but it's not really surprising.
It's not a secret that the seven of them are soulmates, polyamorous soulbonds not even a rarity in and out of the industry. However, it's also not a secret that they're very exclusive and don't let too many (if any) other people in their circle because of the things they had to endure as a group. It makes sense that they wouldn't want a new person intruding and messing with their dynamics, soulmate or not.
(deep down you want to say it doesn't make sense. you're their soulmate, why can't they accept you like that? but there's still nothing you can do, isn't there?)
And so, you delegated all your tasks related to their group to your most trusted employees completely and avoided them at all costs. And by 'at all costs', you mean everything. You even deleted all their songs on your playlists and blocked them on social media (even on Spotify). You can co-exist with them without interacting, although it makes your chest ache through the bond because of the soul rejection like a 24/7 acid relapse.
It's fine. You can ignore all that. You can handle rejection. You've been used to this since you were a kid; adult you can handle this.
Soul rejection side effects? Nothing meds and doctors can't fix. Technology has never been more advanced and all that jazz.
You're a mature person, and you pride yourself on that. You don't like confrontations that much and would rather step back as much as you can to disengage. If your soulmates don't want anything to do with you, then you'll back off.
But you sometimes wonder if they can feel it too, the soul strings fraying and slowly decaying. After shit went down, it's bouts of nausea and dizziness, and constant chest aches for you. That's not even half of it. It'll take a whole day for you to list all your symptoms.
If they do feel it, does it add to their list of reasons why they hate your existence? You mean, they had been borderline antagonistic since your first meeting, cold but civil at best.
It was a contrast to the way the tiny soul marks on each of your fingers glowed on your first meeting even until after Taehyung and Yoongi fled in what you can guess is disbelief and refusal, the others following suit. The warmth in your hands felt scorching, and you had never wanted to scrub them with water in your life then more than you ever did, your chest beating hard and painfully. You remember feeling like someone slashed your insides with a hot knife, and it has never stopped being in pain ever since.
What else were you supposed to think other than they hate you?
Not wanting to risk another embarrassing conversation with Sejin (bless his heart), you decided to book an appointment and signed up for the relatively new soul-scraping therapy. It's still in its human trial stages and is slowly being recognized as a way of severing soul ties, albeit not approved and sanctioned by the government. Anything to give and honor their wishes. They're your soulmates, and it's innate in you to give people what they want.
(or was it really just that?)
All of that and everything else, you can take. You live and abide by your life motto to stay out of drama, so you take all of it in stride and with dignity because it's all you have left at this point when it comes to them.
This is where you got pissed off, though. This day takes the cake, this sodding party.
Attending the party was certainly not your idea. You're tired from the long-ass meetings you had today—JYP's team asked for a meeting for your agreement with Day6 since Sungjin got discharged a few months ago with Younghyun following suit in a few days. A party is definitely not on your to-do list. If it's up to you, you'll be going home to your phone and fics.
(and if they're bangtan fics, nobody has to know. this, you can let yourself have—you were advised against going cold turkey from them by the doctors handling the soul-scraping therapy, after all. if you can't have them, maybe you can at least indulge in fictional them.)
You have been minding your own business since you arrived at the bar. It's laughable how socially inept you are despite handling your business and meeting the entertainment industry's biggest names and leaders regularly. When being put in parties and other gigs that force you to socialize just for the sake of socializing, you're back to being the fat loser kid that avoided making new friends because the ones you previously had in childhood (if you can really call them that) can't understand how your brain and mouth work. Frankly, you don't, too, so you just preferred to stay in one corner until it's socially acceptable to go home.
"Hey." Jackson squeezes your hand in his and smiles worriedly at you. "You doing okay?"
Jackson had been a long-time friend and is someone you trust your whole life with. Jackson had seen you through your bests and worsts, but had never once turned his back on you or betrayed you as many people did.
Yeah, you would trust him with your whole life. Your panties too, but don't tell him that.
(there's no need to because he knows; he did lots of times before, with his face between your thighs and your undies in his pocket.)
"I'm good." You don't even bother smiling, knowing it won't convince him too much. He knows your stand on parties; you're his polar opposite, after all. "I just really wanna go home."
"Can I come with?" he asks with a salacious smile.
You roll your eyes.
"Stop being horny for five minutes, please."
"You shouldn't have worn that dress, then." He rakes you with an assessing look. "On second thought, that's the best decision you did tonight so far. If you're not going home with anyone tonight, my room's open."
"You up to be my wingman?" you ask.
"Sure. I'll sit with you all night so we can look like a swinger couple scouting for a third we can take home." He waggles his eyebrows.
You snort at that with an amused chuckle, oblivious to the glare(s) directed your way by—who else?—your soulmates.
They (Taehyung) heard from Manager Sejin and Noona Ae-cha that you're not sure if you can come. They didn't know why the two were talking about you, but Taehyung tried to act immersed in his phone while eavesdropping.
Apparently, you had been stuck in the boardroom almost all day with the back-to-back meetings, and you even had to cancel your doctor's appointment. For what the appointment is for, he didn't know. It explains your absence that day, and he files the information away at the back of his head. He can't for the life of him understand why he can't stop trying to spot crumbs about you.
(he does know, but he's in denial about why—and he'll deny both.)
He then told his hyungs and Jungkook, which they just nodded at, seemingly uninterested. But if Namjoon's faraway serious look at times is anything to go by or the way Jimin picks at the skin on his lips as he's lost in thought, he's pretty sure they are also subtly trying to figure out if you're coming.
(but they'll all deny that if asked.)
They haven't seen you that much since they started actively avoiding you months ago and shut down whatever soul link you have with them, and you are damn good at trying to stay out of their way.
It surprised them, they're not gonna lie. They expected you to put up a fight, but all Manager Sejin told them was that you agreed. You never interacted with them ever since unless it was really needed, and you were always wearing your rings and not making unnecessary eye contact even once.
(and that somehow pisses them off and itches under their skin because how dare you not be interested?)
And now you've been here for the past hour or so, Jackson Wang in tow. Or rather, Jackson has his arms alternately snaked around yours or slung around your shoulders. It makes Jackson look like a frat douchebag.
(and it makes taehyung look jealous and interested in you which he is so not, no.)
Hoseok was the first one to spot you arriving, Another One Bites The Dust thumping through the dancefloor that was bathed in red lights. He nudges Namjoon from his seat in their secluded and swanky VIP room that was separated one floor above the bar proper.
"There she is", he says then, gesturing towards you as all seven pairs of eyes land on you as you enter with Jackson. "She's with Wang."
With varying levels of internal turmoil, they all watch as Jackson led you through the throngs of people, presumably to another room like theirs. They see you shake your head and point to the bar, and Jackson's face light up with a wide smile before redirecting your steps.
Yoongi asks himself why you have to wear that dress or why Jackson has to clutch at your hands like a little kid, the others having a similar train of thought. Does Jackson think he's going to be lost in this bar? Is he that plain stupid to be lost in this bar, really?
And why are you letting him?
Jimin tries not to let his eyes wander on your legs, tries not to let his mind wander back to the thought of being choked by your thick supple legs and ripping that off-shoulder dress off you and—
Oh. Woah, there.
Stop it! he thinks to himself and shakes his head.
(this is not the first time he's thought of this, darling. when he first saw those smooth and lovely-looking plump thighs, he knows he was fucked.)
Jin is no better, but he hides it better than the others. After all, it was not his idea to shut you out like that. He was opposed to it and tried to talk some sense into the others, but they didn't listen. He thought back then that Namjoon would at least be reasonable and give you a shot but nooo, the kid was stupid enough to listen to others.
Let them have what they want, then.
(he can feel the pit and longing in his chest some nights and thinks that maybe he can let the others do what they want but still do what he wants too. but he takes a look at the six men who had been there for him through thick and thin, and he can't lose them. he sends you an apology mentally, hoping you can at least feel it through the bond.)
"Calm down," Jin tells them levelly, trying to pry the glass off Namjoon's hand, lest he crushes it and injures himself. "You're crushing the poor thing, Joonie. Don't wanna end up in the ER, do you?"
Jackson's the one to end up in the ER if he doesn't unwrap his arms from your shoulders, that's who, Namjoon thinks to himself bitterly before he can stop himself.
Jin leans back on his seat and watches as you laugh with Jackson, arms slung around your shoulders as the latter listens to you talk. They all wouldn't have to seethe in barely contained anger if they just listened to him though, so who's at fault here?
Aish, these brats.
"I'm going to get more drinks," Jungkook suddenly says, disentangling himself from Taehyung fluidly.
"You can just ask them," Namjoon says, pointing towards the glass doors where their security detail is posed out of the room. "There's no need to go out."
"I'm going to get more drinks," Jungkook repeats firmly, ignoring him. Namjoon's jaw clenches. "Come help me, Jin-hyung?"
Ah, this conniving brat. Jin wants to kiss his pouty lips for this.
"Sure," Jin says easily, much to Namjoon's annoyance. He pats Namjoon's cheeks gently. "No breaking the glass, Joon-ah. We have a photoshoot tomorrow."
He pulls Jungkook out of the room before any of them can disagree further. He loops his arm around Jungkook's petite waist, nodding once to the man stationed at the door.
"You're not just getting drinks at you, aren't you?" Jin asks as they descend the steps.
"I don't know what you're talking about, hyung." Jungkook's smile is sharp. "I just don't wanna get roofied and end up on the tabloids tomorrow, is all."
"You don't have to lie to me," Jin says, kissing his hair. "I wanna see her, too."
Jungkook's smile turns sad at that.
"I just don't understand. [Name]-noona seems like a nice person. They're all being stupid."
Jin has to agree. "But you know why we have to, right? I don't like it, too, but we have no choice."
"But we do!" Jungkook insists. "We can be friends, even."
"Friends don't fuck friends." Jungkook snorts at that. "There's nothing 'friends' about wanting her with us, Jungkook."
"Friends don't fuck friends, my ass," Jungkook mumble mockingly. "That didn't stop Jackson-hyung at all."
Jin stops momentarily, pulling Jungkook to a stop. "Excuse me?"
"They were having sex last week, hyung. When Jackson-hyung came over last Wednesday."
"Was that why...?"
"Yeah." Jungkook takes his hand as they walk again. "I felt it through the strings, too."
Jungkook is suspiciously not meeting his eyes.
"Jungkook-ah."
"What?" he asks innocently. Jin's lips pull into a smirk.
"You naughty cat!"
"I—what? No!" but Jungkook is still not meeting his eyes. "I didn't watch them."
Jin gasps delightedly.
"This is so much better. I didn't even say anything yet!"
Ah, fuck.
In Jungkook's defense, he hadn't meant to listen in. But he had been on his way back to the practice room from relieving his screaming bladder when he heard it. The warmth and arousal that was definitely not his he had been ignoring since that lunchtime was not helping his curiosity.
"Ah!" And oh shit, it's someone moaning and it's you.
That explains the arousal he's been feeling. Oh, and the jealousy now (his), too.
"Yeah?" A deeper voice asked breathlessly. Another punched-out moan from you, and the arousal flares in his chest.
Yup. It's definitely his this time.
"Jackson, please," your equally breathless voice pleaded, and the sound shot to his cock. Jungkook had to stop his hand from going south inside his pants and boxers.
A delighted shriek and breathless laugh, followed by a staccato of 'ah ah ah's and hips slapping against each other punctuated the otherwise silent afternoon he was having.
And what would a self-respecting man do?
Stay and listen to you get railed six ways to Sunday, was what he did.
(jungkook didn't say he's a self-respecting man.)
Jungkook slipped his hand inside his pants and boxers and wrapped his hand around his aching cock. He almost moaned at how your moans quickly reached a whole other level of desperation. He wondered and tried to imagine how you would feel around him if he fucked you harder and deeper than Jackson possibly can.
He knows he can.
"Hands, Jackson." There was a chuckle, then your whine was heard. "Baobei, please."
Jungkook heard Jackson's sharp intake of breath, and he had to internally agree. Even speaking Mandarin, you sound so hot.
He heard you mewl with a choked giggle as the sounds of hips to hips got faster.
"You really like my hands, huh?" Jackson asked.
"Mhm. Want them wrapped around my—ah!—neck all the time."
Fuck.
Jungkook had to bite onto his hands as he came, so as not to give his position away, cock spurting on his hands,. Seconds later and he heard you cry out and Jackson grunt to completion.
So, no. He definitely didn't watch.
"You nasty, nasty boy!" Jin cackles at him and he wants to pout. "You listened in to them having sex?!"
"Hyung!" Jungkook hisses. "Not too loud."
Jin snickers at him, mouth pulled in a tempting smirk he wants to kiss. "Was it good?"
"Hyung," he whines. At Jin's unfaltering smirk, he sighs. "It was. She sounds so good, hyung. I can't take it off my mind."
"Maybe later, we can do something about that." Jin says with a low hum.
He peers at Jin's eyes and almost shudders at the dark and hungry look in them. Jin squeezes his waist, and it takes Jungkook's breath away.
In his silence, Jin nods with a hum.
"Hm, definitely later."
He won't say no to that. If they can't have you, Jungkook's gonna take what he can get, even if it means settling on replaying your moans in his head.
When they reach the bar, you are still sitting at the other end with Jackson. They are careful not to be seen by you or you'll probably leave like you always do when they get within your 10-foot vicinity.
Then Jackson puts his hand on your slightly exposed leg. He feels the others' jealousy through the bond first before he feels his own, and he sees you stiffen in your seat.
Hyungs!
Jungkook quickly looks away, but not before Jackson catches his gaze. He completely misses the way Jackson's mouth pulls into a quick smirk as their drinks are thankfully served at that exact moment.
"Wanna head back to your place?"
You're unexpectedly suddenly close, and it's like Jackson wants him and Jin to hear to rile them up. It works, and he can barely tamp down the urge to pour the drinks over Jackson's big head, being older be damned.
"Sure. I'll just swing by the restroom." You say as you walk away. Jin and Jungkook take that as their cue to go back to their ritzy room.
"That was short," Jin says tightly as they go back. "Was it you?"
Jungkook shakes his head.
Jin's lips quirk into an amused smile.
"Ah, jealous bastards."
"Weren't you too, though?" Jungkook asks with a slightly amused smile of his own. "That was... that was intense."
"That serves them," Jin says as they near the room. "If they weren't just pigheaded, it's my shoulders her legs are gonna be hanging from later."
"Jin-hyung!" Jungkoo huffs, but then deflates. "Yeah."
"Don't worry, we still have later," Jin says with a lascivious smirk.
And he can't complain about that, can he?
"Where's Tae-hyung?" he asks when they enter the room, Taehyung nowhere in sight.
"Went out. Didn't say where." Hoseok says as he accepts their drinks and puts the tray on the table. It takes a few seconds for him to piece it all together, and he mentally facepalms.
"Whatever happened to 'not giving a fuck' about [Name]?" he mumbles.
"Jungkook," Namjoon warns.
It sets him off.
"What? Are you all really going to keep on pretending? You do realize I felt that back there too, right?" he shoots back.
"So the drinks were just a ruse?" Namjoon's face is stormy.
Jungkook holds his gaze steady. "And what if it was? You all know what I felt about this since day one."
"Kook-ah." It's Jimin this time. "Not now, please."
"And when, hyung? When we go back to just pretending an eighth of our soul doesn't exist out there?"
"Jungkook."
He glares at Yoongi. "No, hyung. If you all want to be stupid, I don't! [Name]-noona is going through therapy because of this, don't you know?"
Yoongi scoffs. "She's a big girl, she can handle herself."
"Not soul-scraping therapy, she won't."
They all stop at that. Even Jungkook stops and internally curses.
Fuck, he wasn't supposed to say that.
"What did you say?" Namjoon's voice takes on a dangerous tone.
He huffs but stays silent, not really wanting to dig a deeper hole for himself.
"Jungkook."
"I talked to Jiho-hyung, okay? I bumped into him five months ago when he visited her."
Silence.
"Im Jiho?" At Jungkook's nod, Namjoon's frown deepened. "I didn't know he practices soul-scraping."
"He's co-authoring the soul-scraping study with Doctor Seong."
At the mention of one of their previous soul health doctors, Yoongi raises his eyebrows.
"Our Doctor Seong?"
Jungkook nods with a sigh, plopping down beside Hoseok. "Apparently, it's why he stopped private practice—to focus on the studies. They're also lobbying for fully legalizing soul-scraping in the Assembly. I ran into him, and he mentioned that he was there for noona's side effects from the therapy."
Side effects?
Shit.
"W-wait. Five months, you said?" Jin says with a tremble in his voice. "Is that why I can barely feel her anymore?"
Jungkook's sigh is pained, forlorn. "Apparently, yeah."
They all lapse in complete silence after that, the thumping of the beat on the dancefloor faint through the walls.
"Fuck."
Indeed.
It is then that Taehyung comes back. He takes one look at their varying degrees of solemn and stunned expressions and tilts his head.
"What? What happened?" he asks.
"[Name]..."
Taehyung's eyes widen before his expression smooths into indifference.
"I told you, I'm no—"
"That's not it," Jimin says softly. "She's in soul-scraping therapy, Taehyung-ah."
...
"What?"
(oh, lord. you don't know the turmoil you caused all these pining idiots, darling.)
---
And what about you?
As we said in the beginning, god must be testing your patience.
"Hey," Jackson says softly. He lifts your chin with a gentle smile long after Taehyung fucked off to god knows where. "You good, baobei?"
You didn't even know they were here. You were vaguely aware that yeah, they might be, but it totally slipped your mind. Meetings really did drain your brain.
When you stood up and went to the restroom while Jackson called for the driver, you didn't know that Taehyung was watching you from their room and completely high-tailed it from there just to intercept you when he saw you stand up from the corner of the bar. You didn't know why, but his stupid drunken ass just decided it wanted and it was a good idea to rile you up.
To piss you off is why, you think.
When you exited the ladies' room, Taehyung was standing there by the wall looking lethal. The ache in your chest flared up for two different reasons, but you ignored it. You ignored him and started walking away, pretending you didn't see him.
"So you're really here."
Seriously?
You continued ignoring him and walked on, but he didn't let you get far.
He grabs your wrist. "I said, you're really here."
The spot where he held you burned and you hissed, cursing the therapy's side effects. You were warned that coming in contact skin-to-skin with your soulmates while undergoing the therapy would feel painful (literally), but you didn't heed it then. You had no reason to touch them after all when they didn't even want to see you.
But it is painful, and it burns.
You yanked your wrist away, hiding your wrist behind your back. There's no need for that, though. Taehyung was looking at your face intently.
"Yes, and I was just leaving. See you around, T—"
"With Jackson?"
What's it with this guy?
You looked back at him and squared your shoulders up. "That's really none of your business, Taehyung."
He laughed with a sneer, shaking his head.
"What would people say if they knew you're off gallivanting with men who aren't your soulmate?"
Wow.
The nerve of this asshole.
You can't let him see it affect you though, so you tilt your head with an innocent smile.
"I'm just a nobody. Why would they talk about me? " You smirked in amusement. "I don't think it'll be me they will talk about since I wasn't the one who rejected my soulmate, was I?"
And oh, shit. Where did that come from, [Name]? Feisty.
"And I'm not doing anything illegal. Why should I be scared?" You slightly lean back and tilt your chin up. "I'm not the one between us with a reputation to uphold, a name I should protect."
You paused, a serene smile on your face.
"I'm not a coward. I'm not you, Taehyung"
The smirk on his lips was replaced with a sharp look of disdain, almost like he wants to slap the smile off your face.
(he wants to, darling. trust me. just not in the way you think.)
You knew you hit a nerve and it feels petty and mean, but it's nothing compared to the loneliness and pain they gave you these past few months. It felt satisfying, even if for just a bit.
"You really think you're all that, don't you?" He smiled almost mockingly. "Tell me, how does it feel to be rejected?"
That really stung and angered you, but you've spent all your life hiding your emotions when needed to. Your expression didn't falter.
"It feels good—"
"—because she dodged a bullet."
You internally sighed in relief as Jackson's voice float behind you. You'll forever be thankful for this man's existence, gods or not.
You melt in his arms when he wrapped them around your waist. You chanced a look at Jackson, not seeing the twitch on Taehyung's brows at your body language.
"You really think you're all that, don't you?" Jackson mocked back at him. "Imagine thinking it's the end of the world for your soulmate just because you shut down their bond." Jackson chuckled ruthlessly.
"You're pathetic, Taehyung-ssi."
The two were locked in a glowering match before Taehyung straightened up and spun on his heel without a word.
Jackson let you get your bearings by the wall of the hallway to the ladies' room in silence. But he didn't let you stew in your thoughts for long.
So now here you are, looking at his gentle eyes.
"You good, baobei?"
You don't know how to answer that really, so you pull him by the collar into a searing kiss.
He puts his hand on your waist, the other on the wall by your face, and you tighten your hold on his collar.
You pull away to gasp for air.
"Take me home," you exhale heavily as you lean your head on his shoulder. "Take me home and fuck me 'til I forget, or I might do something stupid."
Jackson's sharp intake of air is your answer before he pulls you away to your awaiting car outside the club.
---
feedback (constructive, please don't be too rude bc i'll cry) and kudos very much appreciated!
#bts soulmate au#polyamorous bts#soul bonds#kim taehyung u lil shit#soulmate rejection#idek what i'm doing okay i'm so sorry#they're idiots your honor#bts x reader#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook
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First shared in The Saiouma Pit discord server, parts said by other members are in quotations, unassigned bullet points are my messages
Hina: "It could go either way but... if it's Shuichi demonic royalty instead of parent, it's his uncle or Shuichi's parents and uncle being there and he's managing to perfectly play shit off to his parents while his uncle is just not buying it?"
his parents being the rulers of hell but his uncle being the one that cares to visit
Dra: "Shuichi tells Kokichi about what's going to happen, Kokichi agrees to help him find someone to marry (they are stupid) but before they can think of anyone time Runs out Shuichi's uncle appears from his silly little red demonic circle, looks at Shuichi, notices Kokichi and just "your human is rather small" And Shuichi loses it because oh fuck he didn't want to get Kokichi involved in this"
Hina: "The fact they really thought an hour was enough time to find a fiancé is just sad"
Fuwa: "we can extend it to 6 hours." And then I said: "no, an hour is perfect"
also Shuichi knew beforehand and just waited helplessly until it was last bell to do anything so he asked Kokichi for ideas
Fuwa: "they do fucking tinder, try to get a demonic looking match. They use a goddamn fake face app, to like, see who's demonic enough, and they point it towards Kokichi on accident at the very end, and it's like "perfect match". "Wow it's truly satan!!""
Hina: "WHY THE FUCK WON'T ANYONE MATCH WITH ME??? I TRIED A THIRST TRAP. I POSTED A PHOTO WITH A DOG. DO YOU NEED A FUCKING FISH??? IS THAT WHAT WE NEED??? SHOULD BE GO FISHING???"
Dra: "Does Kokichi get pros/cons of suddenly being married to demon royalty?" me: "like, what could the cons even possibly be? but yes he does"
after that dinner he stays up at night, pulls out his trusty white board
Dra: ""What if they don't have wifi in hell"", Fuwa: "Shuichi's family" (also listing cons)
Hina: "Pros: Demon Royalty, Would Protect You, Live in Castle, Rich, Cool Uncle, Husband Kinda Cute Ig Cons: The Signal Sucks, Parents are Meh, A lot of fire, Hot. Everyone Here lowkey wants to kill you"
idk about the killing part, I think Kokichi could gain respect in hell, they'd think he has what Shuichi lacks, he was always deemed too timid and soft for a heir to the throne, now this human he brought on the other hand…
Dra: "Ok but it'd actually be so funny if the other demons started going with Kokichi's lies and introduced him as the most powerful demon ruler that just happens to look like a lil dude (it's totally so he can fool sinners into thinking he's harmless) and Shuichi is just watching this go down like "huh""
I love fake dating AUs so I'll try to add a little more to this.
Neither of them has realized their feelings yet when that fated night happens, but something's been brewing through months of their living together. They're just friends that help each other in situations like needing an emergency fiancé. It's cool.
Until it's serious and they're told to pack, so they can begin preparations for the wedding and coronation in Hell as soon as possible. So things get a little tense, but they can go with the flow. It's just another adventure in the life of a supreme leader. And then the shenanigans begin.
The chambers prepared for them obviously have only one bed. They have to show off their affection to sell it to everyone. Learning new details about each other when they're made to pick out stuff for the wedding together. Some frosting on one's face while trying potential cakes. Waking up face to face after swearing to stay on far off sides of the bed the night before.
Kokichi learning things about Shuichi's childhood, Uncle shows him pictures. Shuichi watching Kokichi as he impresses demons with his act, looking at the faces he makes and being not only impressed too, but falling a little bit in love with the joy it brings Kokichi to have a receptive audience.
The realization of feelings being followed by the assumption it's unrequited and wallowing in it. The mixed feelings when trying on suits, dreading the approaching wedding day while thinking the other doesn't feel the same. Something pushing the tension past the limit and causing the confrontation. I've been thinking of maybe introducing a little magic to Hell's wedding traditions; they would each have to throw an ingredient into a huge jug of a special alcoholic drink that is prepared for weddings some days in advance and those specific ingredients have to be thrown in by the couple because the mixture will turn a pretty color when someone in love does this step.
Those idiots. These two morons. When it turns out alright they jump to the conclusion that the other is in love but with somebody else. [This could also be done with Kokichi hearing Shuichi mumble something about love in his sleep, or overhear him venting to somebody who knows their situation, probably Uncle or a friend, say "I think I'm in love" all tragically and the same misunderstanding happens]
So accusations fly, "If you're in love with someone, then why didn't you go to them with this?"
"I didn't know then. Why did you agree to this if there's someone you-?"
"I didn't know. And I expected this to be over by now. I thought that they wouldn't approve of me, or find out it's a farce and then kick me out."
"You should be with the one you love. I can open a portal for you. I can come clean to everyone, I got you into this mess-"
"No. It's not that simple" Shuichi looks at him questioningly, so he sighs and continues "... I am pretty sure it's unrequited. Doesn't matter anymore. What about you? I promised to help. Whatever that means now."
Whether they resolve it at that point or continue without talking things out [Shuichi claiming that his feelings are unrequited too, so their only option is to stay on track.] is up to you.
#danganronpa#ndrv3#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#oumasai#kokichi oma#made by me#writing prompt#if you use it I'd love to read that!
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request fest <3
welcome to rynn's request fest!! all of these are the stuff i ENJOY writing,,, so ill be super happy to write any of these below!! you don't have to choose from these though, you can most definitely request ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!!💗💗 but if thats so,,, here are the notices!! :
⊹ REQUESTS : OPEN
⊹ i am a minor, so i couldn't write smut or anything too over the line!!
⊹ ateez, tomorrow x together, stray kids, jujutsu kaisen, windbreaker
⊹ i write fem and gn reader <3
⊹ pretty tight schedule so bare w me guys!!
okay so now THATS out of the way,, tell me which of these you want!! you can choose multiple, if not all :
fluff / angst / comfort
THANKS!! now here are the prompts <33 please feel free to choose multiple of each,, add your own stuff that isnt listed,, as many / little as you want and from absolutely ANYTHING!! [for example, im so down to do medieval magicians, so just choose ANYTHING man]
BASE
ehh just to be sure,, you can skip this and only choose tropes tho
1. friends to lovers 2. enemies to lovers 3. strangers to lovers
TROPES
okay THIS is what is required
1. star crossed lovers 2. soulmates 3. unrequited love 4. forced proximity 5. childhood pact, sweethearts 6. second chance 7. a bet 8. fake relationship 9. two antagonists 10. juvenile fiction 11. grumpy x sunshine 12. workaholic and comfort
EXTRA
you can skip this since its so wide, and/or make up your own
1. runaway fiance for you/him 2.roommates, dormmates 3. cinderella situation 4. one bed [fluff guys.] 5. you belong with me taylor swift thing 6. playboy oohhh 7. met at the bell tower [almost self destruct] 8. one of you is gonna die [for example; cancer] 9. juvenile rebellious broken teenagers
AU
ong personally my fav part ngl
fantasy
dystopia, utopia mythology, folklore fairytale, royalty magicians, fortune tellers vampires
science fiction [ could also be in fantasy ]
time travel, manipulation travel in between different worlds
historical
medieval london victorian era medieval russia royalty
modern
highschool juvenile [frik this town] college okay yeah boomer age lets work gotta work
dialogue prompts
okay thats all!!! you can stop here, or if you want inspo or some quotes for me to add in there,, here they are!! :
fluff
1. "stay safe!!" 2. “make sure to come back to me, okay?” 3. “how did you know they were my favourite?” 4. “i saw this, and i thought of you.” 5. “i'd really love it if you came” 6. “just- well… try not to die. i'm really not bothered to replace you” 7. “well maybe i LIKE having you alive, ever thought about that?” 8. “you're leaving already?” 9. “you're the only one i want to be there.” 10. “i did this for you.” 11. "what's you're dream, s/o?" 12. “don't move. i’ll get it for you.” 13. “you won’t take care of yourself so i will” 14. “truthfully, i'd rather just hang out with you.” 15. “shut up and dance with me” 16. “you're not alone anymore” 17. “it's okay it’s okay,,, got you” 18. "thank you for staying." 19. “you don’t have to pretend with me” 20. “just you and me; that’s all i want”
credits to this page for most of these !! the rest are my own ^^
angst
1. "just come here" 2. “i wish i could stay here forever. just me and you.” 3. "i'm so tired of you." 4. "why do i care? are you a fucking idiot, y/n?!" 5. "i trusted you." 6. "don't come to be with your problems anymore, because i don't want to hear it." 7. "don't touch me." 8. "you think i loved you? how pathetic do you think i am?" 9. "it's like you think i don't have a life outside of you. s/o, i don't need you to live my own life." 10. "the hell do you mean?" 11. "he handled it better than you ever could." 12. "i'm staying with my friends for a few days." 13. "damnit, don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about." 14. "it feels like you don't want anything to do with me anymore, y/n." 15. "i don't want to go back to how it was before." 16. "please, i promise you. i'll never yell like that again." 17. "stay here until you stop crying." 18. "don't leave. please." 19. "i ruined everything. i'm sorry." 20. "please. just come home."
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! i'd be sososososo happy if someone did this PLEEEKKK
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hello days! can you recommend some naruhina fanfics wherein hinata moved on from her unrequited feelings with naruto and so she got to the point she became sort of a bitch loathing naruto at some point (and maybe plotting her revenge towards him) but then years later they found each other and this time naruto convinced hinata that he’s inloved with her and she should stop being not herself..?
Hello!
So I've been thinking about this one a lot because I don't know any.
hinata moves on from unrequited feelings
hinata loathes naruto for it / would like vengeance
years later they meet each other again
naruto convinces hinata that he's been in love with her
hinata accepts him
The only one I can think of that is close to what you're asking for is specifically lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers with a vengeful Hinata:
“March - Fanfic/Fanart inspo” from “Still Falling For You” by @chloelapomme - Rated M, Pirates AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. It’s time for Hinata to confront the thief who stole her treasure from her.
I don't know any others. If you'd like to see a previous rec list of just enemies-to-lovers it's here.
I almost forgot about this one...it's not enemies really. But Hinata acts pretty cold to Naruto at times.
“A Hallmark Movie” by browniefic - Rated T, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Naruto and Hinata cross paths six years after he broke her heart. A naruhina Christmas fic.
Now this one, on the other hand, has a slightly vengeful Naruto. It's lovers-to-strangers-eventually back to lovers!
"thus a silenced memory" by @keroppri - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Eight years flown on by and Naruto makes his return to the city where he once fell in love, only for him to leave hollow and broken after she was persuaded to leave him. Plagued by her memory at every corner, a chance meeting changes fates, minds, and hearts. Thus he tries to silence the memories.
omg. I forgot about my own fic lol. Yes, in my fic, Hinata's pining heart was spurned by Naruto's lack of tact, and she becomes pretty darn bitchy to him as a result.
"He calls me the devil" - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Ohnej's AU, where Hyuga clan leader Hinata Hyuga and Hokage Naruto Uzumaki can’t tolerate each other.
I can't believe I forgot about my own fic. It still doesn't hit all the points you requested, though.
Okay, so this next one has that glow-up idea. Where like Hinata gets mad at Naruto for an insult, starts focusing on being sexy, and Naruto starts realizing he's in love with her.
“The Cinderella Makeover Naruto Style” by CharismaHarmony - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. When Hinata’s best friend, Naruto said that she wasn’t the type of woman men fall in love with, she bet him 1000 she’d have a marriage proposal in 3 months.
oooh maybe this one matches? Hinata's never a bitch in this, though.
“Why can’t I give up on you?” by catwithapencil - Rated T, Multi-chapter, Complete. They use to be great friends but, after a confession, some heart break and a lot of avoiding they grew apart. Now after almost five years they finally reunite in a cafe of all places and now are co-workers? will Naruto and Hinata regain their friendship? or will they become something more?
....and here I thought I only had one possible recommendation. Hopefully one of those 6 fics will satisfy! If anyone can think of anything that matches what anon is asking for, please add on!
#anon#naruhina fanfic recs#naruhina enemies to lovers#naruhina friends to lovers#naruhina lovers to enemies to lovers
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somehow, now i have a lot of tobi/hikaku thoughts? like jesus christ this is halfway to a fic outline so i might as well add it onto my endless list of things to write. so uh:
In the early days of the village Tobirama and Hikaku quickly come to realize that the other is one of the only others around who will just buckle down and Do Their Fucking Job without causing a bunch of unneeded drama. They start to see the other as dependable and even though they have their prejudices they’re both willing to hear the other out on things without immediately starting arguments (unlike Tobi with SOME people). Tobirama maybe even fully admits that he has trouble fully trusting the peace/the Uchiha, but Hikaku finds that when he takes the time to explain the logic of why the Uchiha do things the way they do.Tobirama is able to accept them and start to move past it. (Hikaku also probably spends a lot of time carefully bringing up Tobirama’s ideas to Madara in a way that makes him think HE thought of them, just so they actually get done). So they work together a lot and end up being like. Office buddies with a pretty big mutual respect, and as time goes on they just become full out friends going out for drinks after work etc etc.
Hikaku slowly becomes a victim of the dangerous+pretty+competent problem Tobirama poses and starts catching feelings. Like he ends up pining and ANNOYED that he’s pining because not only is this not his first time w/ a stupid unrequited crush (Madara and/or Izuna take your pick) he knows that even IF his feelings were returned actually doing anything about them would be a huge political nightmare. He’s got this feeling of maybe being a little inferior -- he’s a good shinobi, sure, but he doesn’t hold a flame to Madara/Izuna/Hashirama/Tobirama when it comes down to it. A lot of his best skills are in like, logistics, not decimating the battlefield (which Tobirama likes quite a lot actually cough cough). He’d have to do something crazy to attract someone like Tobirama’s attention (which during the war was actually a good thing!!)
Tobirama meanwhile is in denial that they are even friends for a while, but I think when he realizes that they are (the catalyst probably being like. Hikaku just does something Nice for him b/c he’s a nice guy. Which no one really does for him! but Hikaku did!) he dives straight from ‘oh we are friends’ to ‘oh i’m kind of in love with him’ and then gets PISSED at himself, because surely he’s not the kind of person who will just fall for the first person who is kind of nice to him?? It takes him a while to work through his feelings. But in the end Hikaku is someone who he respects a great deal which is why that act of kindness mattered so much to him in the first place.
I’ve got no idea how the confession happens. tobirama is probably really straightforward about it (or god, maybe hes like “you’ve always been good at explaining things so riddle me THIS why do i like you so much??” and he is genuinely asking). From there like you could go “they both know they like each other but because the Uchiha as a Whole still hate tobirama there’s nothing they can do it about it and it sucks” (and if this is in a more canon compliant situation. good lord but tobirama as the hokage and hes in love with Hikaku and this is their best chance to do something about it and they STILL can’t) or you could have the Very Funny Scene of Tobirama trying to figure out Uchiha courting customs + what the fuck he has to do to convince Madara to allow him to try them.
(also as a bonus thought. Hikaku developing his mangeko bc of tobirama dying/almost dying thank you for your time)
and FURTHERMORE I also had thoughts about tobirama/hikaku/madara vis a vis tobirama/hikaku ending up in a relationship.
ver 1 is like -- he allows tobirama to court hikaku but he DOES NOT trust itand keeps inserting himself into the entire process, and in the end tobirama and Hikaku are kind of powerless to really stop him? from doing that. Madara is so mad that they’re actually kind of romantic with each other?? But also somehow in the process he ends up endearing himself to tobirama by being cringefail (and Hikaku already liked him on the dl) They end up bringing him into the relationship before he even realizes he wants to be in it.
ver 2 is Tobirama and Hikaku ending up married and like. Domestic and happy much to literally everyone’s surprise. Madara wants that SO BADLY that he keeps going to all the married people he knows just to get a mere hint of it. But Hashirama sees him as a good friend/brother, and Izuna, whatever the hell is going on with him, is his actual brother and doesn’t see much weird with Madara wanting to hang out with him, even if him wanting to hang out with him and his S/O specifically all the time is a little weird.
But Tobirama and Hikaku are Not Related to him and draw very different conclusions about what he wants to get out of spending time with them. I think Tobirama maybe relates to Madara a little more than he wants to here because he, too, was desperate for intimacy before he had it, and Madara must be down BAD if he’s willing to spend time with Tobirama. Which, he is, but I think Madara saw how happy they ended up -- reverse relating to Tobirama bc he saw how Tobirama was before and how he is NOW, and decided ‘they can fix me.’
#i feel like htis is an example oh how my brian will take a passing idea and just not let it go#I JUST WANTED TO DRAW SOME LITTLE SKETCHES NOW THIS ???#like. for the record. i havent drawn any smut in?? 3??4? years??#and now i ahve and its for TOBIRAMA AND HIKAKU???#at least im not alone in this having a fandom w/ more than 2 ppl in it is refreshing okay#naruto blog for naruto things#tobihika#oops! no writing tag
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Wolfstarbucks (Remus/Sirius/James) for the ask game!!
have i not already answered this one? i feel like i have i have certainly! been running around asking everyone else for their thoughts BUT it appears i have only alluded to j/r/s in the j/r + j/s posts so!!
yes absolutely <3
1. why
look i have said it before and i'll say it again i simply love a messy tangled awful little web and that's what these three give me!! like god they are already so in love with each other...honestly it is no great leap for me to see it. i know a lot of people can only see j + s as a sibling relationship but that is not the case for me!! the characterization can very much go either way imo and when i do see people writing j/r/s it really does just make complete sense to me. those boys were all in love with each other one way or another
2. favorite things
honestly where to begin!! i just feel like there is SO much opportunity for angst and mess. you can have these boys bouncing around like pinballs bumping into each other and falling apart u can have stretches of unrequited pining u can have the confusion of falling in love with both of ur best friends and figuring out how to make it work just !!! ohhhh and don't even get me started on like. canon-adjacent or even canon-compliant first war angst like GOD. i just feel like there is so much opportunity for creativity with this ship. honestly i should start reading more fic w it i think i may be entering my j/r/s era my friend shared a lovely j/r/s fic w me that i plan to read on my vacation which i already KNOW will destroy me based on a few paragraphs so!! mailbox is open for j/r/s fic my dears if anyone has recs although my reading list is already a mile long...for them i will add more <3
3. unpopular opinions
i mean again i feel like this can be a contentious ship in and of itself although i have been informed by friends that i apparently missed the Prongsfoot War of 2021 which...thank god for that!!! and i mean of course it might not be the most popular to say i want a healthy dose of angst in my j/r/s fic but....well what can i say boys a man can't survive on fluff alone!! gotta put some meat on these bones somehow!!
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Guide to Creating Prompts/Requests
Use this whenever you want to submit a request, but you're stuck and out of ideas! It's also helpful for writing fics of your own!
Note: I usually only write reader-inserts on Tumblr. OCs will be rare here since I write those fics on different platforms. Multiple parts will accepted, but they usually happen when I get into an idea too much and need to write more. Be as specific or as broad as you want, but if you're broad, just know that creative liberties will be taken!
Pick a Character and Universe!
The list is literally endless, so put whatever you want, and I'll let you know if I can write for it!
Pick a Genre! (or more than one)
ABCs Angst Crossover Fluff Headcanons Hurt/comfort Smut
Pick a Trope! (as many as you want)
Friends to lovers Enemies to lovers Grumpy-sunshine Forbidden love Secret identity Forced proximity Best friend's sibling Best friend's lover Best friend's ex Second chance Soul mates Fake relationship Amnesia/mistaken identity Holiday/vacation romances Fish out of water Opposites attract Rich vs poor/different social class Rivals Sworn off relationships Forbidden love Oblivious to love Unrequited love Dark secret Emotional scars Rejected as unworthy by parents/former lovers/etc Character in distress Kidnapped Protector Road trip Injury/illness Secret/Sudden/Unexpected baby Secret admirer Mistaken identity Love triangle One-night stand Arranged marriage Honorable marriage (like in historical novels/shows) Drunk marriage Marriage pact Wedding fever - runaway bride/jilted/best men/wedding planner Age gap Reunion romance Redemption Break up to save them Fairytale retelling
(List created by using the one by Evie Alexander. If there's nothing you find here, make your own!)
Optional: Pick a Song!
Use the Romantic Mix that Spotify made for me, or pick your own!
Optional: Pick a Quote! (or more)
Also endless, but here's a few. (I literally did a Pinterest search, so original creators could not be found. Sorry!)
"Come over here and make me." "Are you jealous?" "Have you lost your mind?!" "Don't leave me...please." "I almost lost you." "Wanna bet?" "Just kiss me, damn it." "Please don't do this." "Just talk to me." "Let me help you." "I'm not going anywhere." "I can't do this anymore." "Just leave." "We can't keep doing this." "I'm going to take care of you." "Stay with me tonight." "I didn't think it was possible to love this much." "Where are you hurt?" "Who did this to you?" "Of course I care about you!" "Let me clean your wounds." "Why are you helping me?" "Close the door." "I should have done that a long time ago." "Why are you helping me?" "Watch me." "Why are you blushing?" "Are you flirting with me?" "Damn, you're beautiful." "Just hold me." "I've loved you for years." "I can't stop thinking about you." "Why me?" "You look good in my clothes." "You're so pretty when you blush." "I saw you naked last night, and you're embarrassed by this?" "Why are you smiling?" "No one gets to touch you like that but me."
You can alter the options to fit your prompt, or add something that isn't even listed! I've searched and thought of as many as I could, but there are limits to my research abilities. Have fun! - grace
#fanfiction#fanfic#prompts#romance#writing#writers#requests#requests open#request#requests are open#reqs open
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Listen, I don't plan on continuing to put myself through the constant feelings of all varieties, and, especially, the occasional slip back into a certain frame of mind that is conducive to accomplishing nothing.....not what it desires, you. Not what it should seek to attain, but that which I can remain mostly indifferent toward, except in the event of a real emergency, nearly everyone, and exactly everything else. Slips are becoming rather annoying. They redirect my attention to a love I have been and will continue to be, denied. In a way, though, it feels more like love lost than unrequited. I know this doesn't seem to you, a real possibility. It is. It takes several days, usually, to cleanse my consciousness enough to return to the task of rebuilding, or, more accurately, constructing an actual love and life anew...It won't be the first time, or the 4th, but I am older than most people realize and the memories of my past have been evicted in favor of a person and events that never actually happened. I think this is why I instinctively treat you as a lost, not an unattained love. It is much gentler on my sense of self. Slips can occur in succession, to the point where you'd doubt the claimed gap between them ever really existed. But, posting something on tumblr, even if it's a heartfelt, longing, cry for you and nobody else, is only proof of temporary thought, not the full immersion described. I don't know why you declined me in the manner you did..I will always be offended (as would you) by it, and it will never be forgotten. But, I do not fault you for declining at all....there were all sorts of excellent reasons to not believe a friendship was in the cards, or even desire one. You have your ways and your people, and at least a small portion of both would not be compatible. That's actually why I never knocked on your door. I was absolutely serious when i promised that I would. I began to doubt my "friendship" claim,myself. Then I considered, honestly, whether the alternative was possible, either. It's not. In fact, as unlikeky as friendship is to work, it has a much better chance than.....whatever term you'd like to use for the options unspecified. I wasxrealky just mad at you over tact, taste (shitty as always, on both counts ;)) and being as incapable of ever being with me as I am of ever being with you. You can explain things differently, make it sound moreclike an ongoing mad chase of you on my oart, I don't care....and, you can be upset with me for saying some if the things I did....if there is one habit I have always had....it isn't quite as bad now as in the past, but that's no help to you....is that when I feel someone is taunting me for loving them, I want them to be hurt the way I am in that moment. It almost seems a requirement, so.....add that immature quirk to the list, too. NEVER AGAIN, however, can you honestly say you are waiting for something real.
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Wow that's such a wide variety of fandoms. Also it's so funny that we have in common both an interest in poetry and writing love letters for friends XD
Continuing the questions about your work, I want to know which of your GOT7 works you consider the following and why: 1) Your best work, 2) Your most introspective, deep or meaningful work, 3) The one you're most attached to, 4) The one you struggled with the most and 5) The one you aren't happy with but are still glad you wrote it.
(Feel free to add non-GOT7 fics too but since I am your AA, I have to ask for those.)
I think introspection is one of the most important parts of writing, and I hope that this can be an opportunity for you to look back at your work and see how much you've grown!
Wishing you a great day and best of luck for whatever's coming your way.
-Your AA <3
Oof...yeah my taste is wild and changes all the time. You like writing love letters for friend too, huh? I don't think I could do it now if someone where to ask but back in the day, I could've made money 😂 I just want to thank you for asking these questions. I am having so much fun with them and just sitting here thinking of my answers makes my day go by faster. I wrote about Got7 and non-Got7 since some of them I couldn't answer with just Got7.
Looking at everything that I wrote up until now just makes me smile. I have so many different styles, highs and lows...it's crazy. I always enjoy looking back to what got me started! Best Work?
I think for me the best Got7 piece that I wrote would be Got7's reaction to your natural hair. I wrote that during my transition from treated to natural hair, so it was fun to write. I tend to write a lot based off my life or those around me. I think it's my best work because it felt realistic in terms of how I thought they would handle the situation. It wasn't a rushed piece and I often go back to it, just to read for fun.
A part from Got7, Stupid Love is something I would consider to be one of my best works. It was my first time diving into a new trope (unrequited love) and I just felt that IM from Monsta X fit the role really well. It was nice to challenge myself and I am more than pleased with how that story turned out.
2. Most introspective/deep/meaning?
I would say my Youngjae fic Cry Baby, to me is the one that is the most meaningful. I suffer from bipolar depression and it was a bad day for me. I wrote it to help get my feelings out and so far I think it's the only Got7 fic that holds such a feeling.
Outside of Got7, I wrote a piece for Mingi of Ateez called Consideration which is heavily based on my life. I think people in relationships of any kind tend to forget that the other person has their own wants/needs. You get comfortable with people and lines blur or just get forgotten. You start to take things for granted and Consideration is there to bring light to those feelings and moments.
I really wish I wrote more deeper fic but I just haven't done it yet. It's on my list for 2023 lol
3. Most attached to?
I'm really attached to my Mark fic Piggy Back. It was an idea that just came to me and I didn't struggle with it at all. Everything was finished in one go and I'm pretty proud of that piece. It's one of my earlier works, so I'm sure it could use some touching up but it's just really soft and sweet.
Another one I'm extremally attached to is Closure. It's a quick one-shot that has Bang Chan of Stray Kids. It's another fic that mirrors a low point in my life and it means the world to me. It was healing for me to write and hold a nice piece of my heart.
4. One I struggled with the most?
By far I Won't Let You Fall with Yugyeom has been the fic that I've struggled with the most to write. It was a request for enemies to lovers and I wanted to bang my head against the wall. E2L is not a trope that I like very much, I tend to ignore it a lot. So when it was requested, I took the challenge and it did not disappoint. I'm pretty sure I wrote that request three times before I finally got something that I liked enough to post.
I am currently working on a Min Yoongi soulmate fic (Blackthorn) that is kicking my butt. I have so many ideas for it but it hard to get it all down on paper/screen. There are so many plot holes right now because I always get ideas in parts and never a full picture. So I am struggling to fill in those holes and makes sure point a and b match up before I can even think about point c and d. It's also a royal fantasy au, so I'm trying to world build a lot more which I'm not the best at.
5. One I'm not happy with but glad I wrote?
It is very rare that I post something that I'm not happy with. My Got7 pieces, are works that I love with my whole heart. So, I don't have a Got7 piece that I'm not happy with. I like most of everything that I post, I take my time with it all which is why I like everything.
If anything I would have to say, my Shownu fic Rainstorm is the fic that I like the least. Only because when I read over it, I feel that it's just a lot of word jumble that doesn't need to be there. It doesn't really give anything for the reader to hold onto and think about. Plus it was a piece I wrote back when I was first getting into Monsta X so I don't think I put a lot of thought into it.
Thank you again, AA
Chaos
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𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 | 𝐜𝐬𝟓𝟓
SUMMARY: if charles can't value what's in front of him then carlos is more than willing to take on the role. REQUESTED: yes but it's for a personal friend. WARNING: kinda toxic carlos, unrequited love, asshole carlos (not towards the reader), a little bit of angst, SMUT, 18+, oral (f receiving), mean carlos, slight corruption kink (blink and you'll miss it), overstimulation, spitting, lost of virginity, p in v, unprotected sex, fluff PAIRING: reader x carlos sainz, reader x charles leclerc WORD COUNT: 6.6k
NOTE: this was meant to be much much longer but i decided to cut it into 2 parts. part 2 will lead to eventual threesome with carlos and charles. let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.
part 2: call out my name
masterlist
The first time Carlos met you, he knew you were off limits. Always following Charles around with that same lovestruck look in your eyes, your body coming alive whenever the monegasque touches you. Your affection for him is written all over your face.
“We’re just friends,” Charles is always quick to correct whenever anyone assumes otherwise. “Best friends,” he’d add as if that made it better and Carlos would watch the way your face would fall, lips slightly quivering as if you’re about to cry on the spot.
Frankly, Carlos thought it’s a waste. Why are you, whose incomparable beauty and wit, is settling for a man who very obviously doesn’t return your affections? Do you enjoy making a fool of yourself? Do you enjoy the pain?
Carlos has very few bad things to say about his teammate, getting along with him so well he’d even consider him a good friend but one thing is for sure, Charles is an idiot for not claiming you given the first chance to do so. Can’t Charles see the longing looks and lustful gazes frequently thrown in your direction, Carlos’ along them?
Though he supposes he should thank Charles for handing you to him with a pretty little bow, for letting you slip through his fingers so Carlos can snatch you right up.
But Carlos bided his time. Charles is Ferrari’s golden boy, their walking god. The prodigal son he’s called. Il Predestinato. The Chosen One. Carlos is the newest member of the team, one with much more to prove. Charles may very quickly deny speculations between the two of you but his claim all over you is still evident. In the way he touches you, the way he keeps you firmly by his side. Carlos had far too much to lose by immediately creating tension within the group.
He’s a patient man. He can wait, plan and plot. And so apart from the usual hellos when you meet each other and the mandatory polite smiles, he stayed away from you, choosing instead to always keep a watchful gaze on your figure whenever the two of you are in the same room.
He’ll play the game and he’ll play it well. He’ll wait. He’ll wait patiently knowing that by the end of it, it’ll be you puny on his palm. And it’s not like you notice, far too busy over your unrequited feelings for the monegasque to even look in his direction.
In his time watching you, Carlos learned so many things about you, things not many people notice. He learned your mannerisms, what makes you tick and what makes you smile, what makes you frown and what makes you pout. He knows your coffee order as well as his own and the foods you don’t eat. He learned the things you like and disliked, learning you till he’s got you memorized like the back of his hand, all his knowledge about you being kept safe for when he finally deems it’s time.
It isn’t like his attraction for you is pure though. Carlos wants you in such a primal way, wants to take you, to claim you. He can barely remember the amount of times he’d touched himself to the thought of you.
It seems the universe is on his side though. He hadn’t even needed to do anything to have you falling straight into his arms.
It was after the Bahrain grand prix, the first race of the season with Ferrari taking home a 1-2. Everyone is in their best mood, drinking the night away as celebration for the best opening start of the season. Carlos found you in the nearly empty hallway leading to the bathroom away from the crowd of people. You’re leaning against the wall with your arms wrapped around yourself, cheeks red and wide eyes a little less bright than usual.
You look like a wounded angel in your little white dress, legs and back bare with your hair falling beautifully over your shoulder, shorter strands littering your face. You look breathtaking and Carlos couldn’t not approach you.
And so armored with his usual friendly smile, he situated himself next to you. “Hey.”
You look up at him from under your eyelashes, offering him a smile of your own. You look sad though and he can’t help but hate Charles a little bit for it. “Hey, Carlos. Congratulations on P2.”
Carlos smiles at you again in thanks. “What are you doing here?” He asks even though he already knows the answer. In his drunken stupor, Charles had found a woman to entertain him for the night, all wrapped up in her on the table you shared.
But you only shrug your shoulders and the action made his eyes travel to your collarbone to the V neck of your dress leading to the valley of your breast. Your skin is covered in goosebumps and he noticed your visible shiver.
“I needed a breather,” you say, which isn’t exactly a lie. You need a breather from Charles and his suffocating presence. “How about you?”
The truth was that he followed you after he saw the way you removed yourself from the group, eyes downcast and bare skin so tempting he couldn’t not follow. He ignored your question and instead shook off the jacket he wore, placing it around your shoulder. You smile at him, a little less sad than the one you gave him earlier, as you slip your hand through the sleeves, the jacket being much too big and practically swallowing your body.
For a moment, the two of you stood in silence, both leaning against the wall. You look a little lost in your head, still hung up over the sight of Charles kissing some girl he just met. For the longest time, you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re fine with your place beside him even if he never returns your feelings. Loving Charles has always hurt but you’ve been doing it for so long that you’ve become familiar with the pain, even allowing it to bring you comfort.
Carlos sighs, practically hearing your thoughts as his hand reaches towards you, placing them on your shoulder to force you to face him. For months, he’s watched you torture yourself over Charles from afar but he’s only now realizing that he can’t do it from up close with your sad, defeated eyes staring back at him.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” he says and Carlos had to control his breathing as you looked at him like that, eyes so wide and naive, looking so pure and lost. He wants to protect you and ruin you at the same time. “You deserve better, cariño, not a boy who doesn’t know how to treat you right.”
“He’s all I’ve ever known,” your voice breaks a little and he wanted nothing more than to punch his teammate at that moment.
“That doesn’t mean he deserves you,” he says through gritted teeth.
You’re unable to say anything else as you melt into his touch, your arms wrapping around his torso and he pulls you to his chest. His arms around you are tight, seemingly trying to keep you together as you break apart.
The two of you stay like that for a few seconds. You don’t cry, which is a good thing because Carlos doesn’t think he can handle that without marching back inside the club and punching the living daylights out of Charles, but you do stay in his arms, your hands clutching at his shirt.
“I’ll take you back to your room,” he says, deciding that the best thing for you right now is sleep. You only nod, lightly pulling yourself away from him.
The bar you guys had went to was just in the hotel lobby, a small place with barely any people and so he leads you out, hand firmly clasped against yours as the two of you ride the elevator to your floor.
“Charles…” you start, voice quiet. “Charles has my key card.”
Carlos nods. “You can stay with me.”
He half expected you to argue but you only nod your head as he leads you to his own hotel room, swiftly swiping the card to open the door, opening it bigger for you. The rest follows swiftly. Carlos lends you clothes to change into after having decided to share a bed. The two of you made quick movements to prepare for bed, the long day had you exhausted and determined to get under the covers.
And yet, as soon as Carlos turns off the light, it’s like all of your exhaustion melted away, finding yourself wide eyed as you stared at the ceiling, his presence next to you pressing against your skin. You’ve shared a bed with a man before, of course. Ever since you were kids till adulthood, you and Charles never had a problem sharing one. But Carlos’ presence is much different from Charles’ familiar weight next to yours. Carlos’ feels demanding, firm. His skin feels a little too hot, causing you to lightly pull down the covers to reveal more of yourself to the chilly, air conditioned air.
It’s a little terrifying. He feels much stronger than you. But it’s also a little exhilarating, your mind daring you to reach forward and touch his skin. He’s not wearing a shirt and you’re tempted to run your fingers through his chest, his jaw, his hair.
“Carlos,” you speak softly, still staring at the ceiling.
“Hmm?”
“Can I touch you?”
He doesn’t think you know how your question sounds. He doesn’t think you know how the innocence in your voice makes him want to wrap his hand around your throat. But nevertheless, he nods despite the fact that you can’t see him. “Yes.”
You don’t need to be told twice, shifting so you’re facing him, the darkness bathing the two of you hiding the blush in your cheek as your hand reaches forward, soft pads of your fingers hesitantly placing themselves on his jaw.
Your fingers are cold as it slides from his jaw to his neck, palm pressing against the skin where his neck meets his shoulder. His own hand places itself on your waist, drawing circles on the fabric of his shirt as your hand finally reaches his chest, tracing every bump and hollow curve till you reach his abdomen.
Carlos sucks in a breath, his hand flying to wrap around your wrist, stopping your movement. With the minimal light, he can see the way you looked at him, so so innocent as though you don’t understand why he stopped you.
“Don’t start what you can’t finish, amor,” he warned you, voice quiet as he stared into your eyes.
But a pool had started in your panties and for the first time that night, you actually feel alive. You wanted more of him. You want him to make you forget. “Make me forget tonight.”
Carlos groans at your words, cursing in Spanish that you barely had the time to decode before his lips are on yours, climbing on top of you as he holds your wrist over your shoulder. You moan into the kiss, trying to pull your hand away to be able to touch him again but his body is firmly pressing you against the mattress, knees keeping your legs open.
“Carlos,” you whine, desperate for some sort of friction as you rut against him.
“Don’t whine.” His voice is low and demanding, full of authority as his lips sucked on your neck, finding a sweet spot that had you rolling your eyes to the back of your head. He’s sucking and biting, flawlessly marking up your neck as you all but fall apart under him.
“Please,” you mutter breathlessly, still pulling at your wrists. You’re desperate to be touched, trying to create as much friction as you wiggled under him.
“Please what, angel?” Carlos mocks. He’s waited for this for far too long to be nice now.
“Please touch me,” you don’t even hesitate, Charles being the farthest thing from your mind with Carlos all over you.
“Where can I touch you, niña bonita?” his words rushed through your veins, close enough to feel the thump thump thump as he pressed his lips against your jaw, planting open mouthed kisses
“Everywhere,” you breathe out and Carlos grins, finally letting go of your wrist, giving you free reign to run your fingers through his hair as he makes a quick effort to rid you of your – his – shirt.
“Are you sure?” He asks again, wanting to be absolutely positive that this is what you want to, that you aren’t just letting your emotions get the best of you.
“Yes, Carlos, please.”
And who was he to deny such pretty pleas?
His lips left a path of destruction everywhere he touched, the burning sensation of his breath against your skin going straight to your core. Eventually, he reaches your nipples, tongue swirling and fingers pinching the other. His teeth marking all over your breasts as he continued his trail down.
“Stop me,” he tells you as his fingers pull the garter of your panties. “Stop me or I won’t be able to stop, baby.”
“Don’t stop,” you quickly say, writhing under him. “God please, don’t you dare stop.”
“You don’t have to call me god. My name is just fine,” he mutters against your skin as he pulls your underwear down. If this is the only night he gets with you then he’s going to make sure to ruin any other man for you. “Thought you were a good girl, baby. Always looking so innocent.”
His lips pressed against your clit, tasting the honey that seeped out of you, causing you to shudder as he situated himself between your legs, elbows pushing your legs apart. His tongue flats on your clit, swiping a lick as you moan out, fingers clutching desperately at his hair, a chorus of pleases and Carlos tumbling out of your lips. He doesn’t think there could be a much better sound as he pokes his tongue into your entrance, your tight walls pushing him out.
Your body is arching up as he sucked at your clit, making Carlos place his arm around your stomach, pushing you back down as his other hand gathered your wetness, spreading it all over your folds before slowly pushing in, a cocky grin on his lips as your moan grows louder.
His tongue and fingers worked together, one slowly pumping in and out of you as he let you adjust and his lips sucking into your clit. He swears he’s meeting his creator as you come into his mouth, voice becoming strangled and your back once again arching as you scream his name, loud enough that Carlos hopes everyone in the floor can hear it. You sound angelic and sinful all at once.
“One more, pretty girl,” he tells you. “Tan bonito como este,” he tells you, watching as you shudder with each swipe of his tongue. You’re far too gone to even care about what he’s saying. “Y todo mío.”
Your fingers running through his tousled, demanding him to keep going and to stop at the same time, the faint taste of iron on your tongue as you bite your bottom lip, soft angelic melodies of his name escaping your lips. He sucked harder, wrist working faster as he added another finger in, pumping in and out of you at a much faster rate than he had a while ago, working to bring you to your second orgasm of the night, one he knew you needed but in reality, he needed more.
"That feels good doesn't it love? You like it when I touch you like this?" Carlos groans and rubs your clit faster. You buck your hips and nod quietly. "Use your words angel," he taunts.
"Yes, yes, oh my god, yes please. yes," you moan loudly.
“Good,” he says, a smug smirk playing on his face. It’s incredible how easy it is for you to submit to him, to beg to his name as if he’s your newfound religion.
It’s an ego thing as his tongue carved Sainz on your clit with the promise of making you his. His kisses stamped your inner thigh, teeth gently nibbling on your skin as he marked what’s his. You don’t know it yet but you’re his. Once he’s done with you, you’ll never want another man again. His tongue slipped inside you, his finger now tracing his name.
“Can I… can I come please?” Your voice is shaky and broken as you ask him, full of obedience that he didn’t even have to teach you as you so easily surrendered yourself to him and his control. In that moment, your body belonged to him and you both knew it.
“Look at me. Look at who’s making you feel this good,” he demands, your cum dripping from his lips. It takes effort for you to even comprehend his words and much more to force your eyes open as you meet his hazel ones. His efforts doubled in speed and strength, your screams becoming louder as he pushed you to the edge.
You gasp loudly as you feel your whole body trembling even more and then you feel your body tense as you come against his mouth. Your whole mind feels like exploding and all you can see is stars. You feel so overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure you’reexperiencing, your body is still trembling as you feel yourself come down from your high.
“You’re such a good girl for me,” he tells you softly as he crawls over to your side, brushing the hair from your face and placing his lips on you. Your body is motionless against his as you climb down from your back to back orgasm.
“Open your mouth, cariño,” he says, gently tapping at your jaw. You comply as he spits into your mouth, the taste of you now present on your taste buds. You’re quick to swallow, making Carlos grin at you. Your undeniable submission to him gives him a kind of satisfaction.
“Are you ready for me, pretty girl?” He asks softly, hand on your cheek a deep contrast to what his fingers had been doing to you a few moments ago. “Do you want to stop?”
You shyly shake your head. Carlos thought you looked most beautiful like this, so incredibly ruined for him. “I’m not- I haven’t–” you start, stuttering over your own words.
“Speak up, cariño,” he tells you and your cheeks heat up even more.
“I haven’t…done it,” say finally, voice increasingly getting shyer with each syllable.
For a minute, Carlos was frozen, not having expected your admission. You’re twenty four years old after all, he had expected you to at least have some experience, but he knows you’re telling the truth from the light blush on your cheeks as you all but hide your face to his shoulder, touching him so surely as if you’ve done it a thousand times before.
He could feel himself melting a little, your shy smile and red cheeks so adorable that he couldn’t help but smile back at you as he wraps his arm around your naked figure, pulling you closer towards him.
“We don’t have to,” he assures you. “We can just go to sleep now.”
“I want to,” you’re quick to say, placing your chin on his shoulder. “I was saving it for…”
For Charles. You don’t bother finishing your sentence, you both already know. The sting in his chest is instant, a reminder that you’re not his, at least not fully.
And then the pride rolls in. You’ve saved this for Charles for years, probably rejecting a multitude of men along the way and yet you’re so willingly offering it to him now, with no hesitation and no question with the monegasque the farthest thing from your mind as you stared up at him with those big eyes of yours.
Before you can say anything else, his mouth is on yours again, whatever little softness his kiss carried a while ago is gone now. He’d never let you go, not when he’s already got a taste. There’s no way he’s ever letting you go now, not when you’re holding on to him like that, nails digging on the skin of his back, naked body pressed against his.
And if he does lose you, if another man gets to touch you after him, he’ll make sure to ruin you for them. He’ll make sure it’s him on your mind every time, his name you’re begging to scream out.
You’re warm. Tingling with anticipation threaded into your nerves and heat. And you feel your body throbbing all at once as Carlos claims your mouth. Your hands are eager, pulling at the shorts he’s still wearing, a whine at the back of your throat.
“Carlos,” you breath out, needy all over as he takes his time marking your skin.
“What did I say about whining?” He asks, immediately getting you to shut your mouth and instead settling for biting your lower lip.
Still though, Carlos does as you ask, pulling away from you in order to remove his clothes. You gulp as you watch his unbearably hard cock reach his stomach. He was carved by god himself you’re sure. No mere mortal can possibly look as beautiful as he does now in all of his naked glory, chest perfectly refined, hair tousled and back and arms littered with scratches.
Heat travels to your cheeks once you realize you’re staring. You try to avert your eyes but Carlos is crawling back at you, hands cupping your cheeks as he all but forces you to meet his eyes. “You can stare, Amor. I’m yours to look at.”
His declaration ignites a blazing warmth in your chest, giving you the courage to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him towards you in order to once again connect your lips. He’s yours. He’s yours. And you’re his. You’ve never felt this alive before, never quite felt like this before. Not with any man and not with Charles. You’re his. You know that now.
“You’re beautiful,” you mutter to no one but the world as his lips travel from your lips to your jaw.
Carlos only hums as his lips travel all over your face and neck. You whimper as his mouth presses kisses all over your sensitive skin, your hands traveling to his hair and tugging lightly.
“I have been thinking about this moment for so long.” He rasps, kissing your throat softly. Your body trembles against his as he continues to cover your face and neck with kisses.
Your brain is all over the place, eyes heavy and clouded as you try to tell him how much you’ve been wanting him. All your thoughts overwhelm you, disabling any rational understanding of what is going on. You just want him. You need him.
All you can taste, all you can feel, all you can see, all you can think about is him.
The whine that comes out of you only drives Carlos to seek out more of those sounds, they are potentially the most amazing sounds he’s ever heard. Your arms wrap around his neck, in an attempt to bring him closer to you, your hips accidentally move against him making him groan.
“Didn’t take you for the needy type, angel,” Carlos teases and you want to tell him to stop, to just fuck you already. You needed him so badly but you know doing so will result in nothing. He’s going to kill you with anticipation, have you begging for his touch.
“Carlos,” you beg, wanting to cry with unmet arousal. “Please. Need you so bad.”
“Shh,” he mumbles against your lips. “I’ll take care of you, baby.”
His lips travel to your breast, greedily claiming your nipple with his mouth. His tongue circles your most sensitive nerve, making you let out another moan. You whine as your cunt starts clenching around nothing, begging for attention. Instinctively you start moving your hips against his making him groan against your skin. His lips leave your breast with a wet pop and he looks at you intensely as you try to catch your breath. You’re panting, barely able to think straight.
He groans as you continue to grind up against him, grasping your hips to halt your movements, causing a whine out of you as he pushes your hips against the mattress, so desperate to feel him again. Finally, he slowly moves towards the bed and gently spreads your thighs apart as he fits himself between them. He positions his body against yours, hand coming up to your face to caress your cheek again as you feel his other wander all over your body making you breathless already.
You feel his cock momentarily against your wetness which makes you thrust against him.
“I need you,” you pant against his lips, but Carlos pulls his hips away slightly with a small smirk on his face. “Please…”
You need him so bad and you’re getting impatient as you feel him press kisses all over your neck, being much gentler than you know he’s used to. He’ll have his way with you eventually but for tonight, your pleasure and comfort is all that matters. Panting, you feel him slowly go down your body. He momentarily wraps his mouth around one of your nipples and sucks lightly making you arch your body against his.
You feel yourself dripping down the sheets, whining helplessly as you become desperate with need.
You can’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his cock in order to relieve yourself some tension. It turns slick as you keep grinding yourself against him, and he has no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.
“Oh fuck,” Carlos rasps, reaching down and grasping himself to line up between your lips. He keeps rubbing the head of his cock to your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you squirm underneath him and back down. He loves the sounds you make as he spreads himself around your slit, where you’re still dripping for him.
You gasp openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You’re still so so wet. Carlos swallows your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against you. He kisses you full of fervor, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.
You’re trembling against him, full of anticipation. His body covers your whole body with his as you writhe against him, wishing he was just in you already.
“Are you ready, cariño? Let me know if I start to hurt you or if you want to stop.” He whispers as he looks deep into your eyes.
You bite your lip and nod, too shy and excited to talk.
“I’ll try to go slow at first, okay, angel?” He says before leaning back down to kiss your lips again, he reaches down and grasps himself. He is rubbing the tip firmly over your swollen clit and your mind is all over the place.
“Please, Carlos,” you stutter, your body trembling even more.
He rubs himself up and down your slit for a while longer before one of his hands lean down to spread your outer fold sliding his cock teasingly around your core. You arch your back slightly and whine out of frustration.
You want to beg him to do something again as he leans down to line up his cock with your entrance, your legs trembling under him with a mix of nerves and excitement. Carlos slides in so slowly it’s agonizing. He’s careful, like he’s afraid you might break.
You let out a long broken whine as he gradually pushes more of him inside you. He’s so big, stretching your walls. It feels as though your organs are moving around to give him space with how full you feel. He leans down to kiss your lips gently as he moves more inside, hoping the sweetness of the embrace will soften the sting.
Once he’s fully inside you, you sigh against his lips. You feel so full, as if he’s made for you and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely has you seeing stars and digging your fingernails into his shoulders.You feel one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reaches up to your face.
“You okay?” He asks worriedly.
“Yeah, I just need a moment,” you mutter, breathless.
He smiles as your eyes are drifting close, both so full and exhausted at the same time.
You feel yourself gradually adjust to his size, your lower lip between your teeth as you open your eyes again to look up at Carlos’ beautiful sight above you.
“Please move,” you beg.
He nods quietly and starts by thrusting into you slowly, one hand reaching down to play with your clit, while the other holds your hand tightly. The sting hurts you for a while, but it easily changes to pleasure as he moves against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he’s giving you is mixed between pain and pleasure.
He grunts as he drops his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin there and to whisper sweet nothings as he sets a pace.
“So tight,” he groans.
The angle is so good, but when his pace picks up he finally leans down to wrap his arms around you, making you gasp as he thrust into you faster and harder, pinning you against the mattress and taking full control of your body.
“You’re taking me so well, sweetheart. Doing so so good for me. Eres tan perfecta.”
You whimper as his lips move back up against your own as he kisses you passionately.
At a certain point you feel the end of his strokes slide into a pressure point inside you that has you clenching like a vise around his cock. Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, back arching as he keeps thrusting into you, the feeling of him repeatedly hitting your most sensitive spot causing a loud noise you’ve never made before escaping your lips, a strange cry of his name.
“Fuck,” Carlos muttered against your ears, feeling your walls clenching around him, letting him know that you’re close. “You’re so loud for me, angel.”
“God.” You’re lost in pleasure, tears streaming down your face as you desperately claw at his skin. Whatever pain you were feeling before is lost now as you all but float in a cloud of lust.
“Hold it in, baby,” he demands, tongue licking your tears away as his hand pushes your hair out of your face, wanting to see you fully as you reach your high.
“Please, Carlos,” you sobbed, squirming under him. “Need to…need to come please.”
His thrust doesn’t stop or falter, getting harder and harder as his hand grips your waist. There would surely be a bruise of his handprint there tomorrow but you’re far too gone to care. “Look at you so desperate to cum on my dick. Who’s making you feel this good, angel?”
“You!” You cry out, more than willing to pledge your life away to him at this point, the only thing that matters is your release. “Only you! Please, Carlos.”
“That’s right. Only me. Sólo yo.” Carlos smirks at the sight of you under him, so completely defenseless. “Go on, baby.”
You didn’t need to be told twice as you spasm under him, losing control of your body. Your vision is hazy as you ride out your high, your body out of your control as your nails dug to his skin, teeth buried on his shoulder. You don’t think you’ve ever felt pleasure quite like this.
You feel his cum shoot inside your walls as his body slightly relaxes on yours. He’s barely broken a sweat, his stamina completely phenomenal, but he knows you’re spent and after tonight, you deserve a break, especially considering it’s your first time. And so with that, he gently pulled out of you, making sure not to put anymore pressure on your tired body as he dropped to the place next to you.
Despite your clear exhaustion though, there’s no hesitation in your movements as you turn to him, breathing shallow. Placing your seemingly heavy head on his chest, you throw your arms over his stomach. Carlos’ breath hitched. He had just fucked you, made you come three times and yet somehow the action of you so naturally cuddling to him had his heart racing.
“You did so good,” he told you gently, arms more than welcoming, immediately wrapping around you. “Are you okay, niña bonita?”
“Yes,” you mumble, voice hoarse from all the screaming as you bury your face deeper into the crook of his neck. “Tired.”
“Sleep,” he told you softly, lips planting a kiss on the top of your sweaty hair as he pulled you closer towards him.
You let out a hum, already drifting off to dreamland with your naked bodies pressed against each other, not an inch between the two of you as you tightly held on to each other.
—
The next time you saw Carlos was the next day as you climbed into Ferrari’s private plane. Nearly the entire team is hungover, half asleep as they lugged their baggage, you along them but for an entirely different reason.
As soon as you stepped into the plane, the Spaniard's eyes were on you and yours on him. You wore the jacket he lent you last night over a simple shirt and jeans, opting to wear something comfortable for the flight rather than something stylish. He, on the other hand, still looked breathtaking in a simple buttoned up shirt and jeans, hair tousled as he watched the way your cheeks turned red.
Charles, far too tired and sleepy, barely noticed as you disappeared from his side as you all but made a beeline towards Carlos.
“Good morning, angel,” he greets you, heart soaring at the obvious way you seeked him out, not even hesitating to leave the monegasque’s side in favor of his. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” you admit, still with a nervous tone to your voice as you take the seat in front of him. “But worth it.”
As Carlos reached forward to lightly push your hair back, his touch now so familiar, you missed the way Charles searched for you upon noticing you’re no longer next to him. You also missed the look of pure jealousy in his eyes, one you’ve longed to see for as long as you can remember. But Carlos hadn’t and for the first time, Charles saw a version of his teammate he’s never seen or expected, one that’s very obviously staking his claim on you, eyes challenging Charles to fight back as you lean into Carlos’ touch.
Carlos didn’t have to say it but Charles understood anyway.
Carlos is a patient man and he played the game so well, biding his time properly and it had all paid off so well, everything falling perfectly into place as the sight of you next to him became a common occurrence. You often wear his shirts after nights in his hotel room, meeting up with Charles for breakfast only to practically reek of Carlos’ cologne. He’s all over you even when he’s not around, his imprints on your skin, his scent all over you, reminding Charles that he’s lost a game he hadn’t realized he was playing.
And when he is around, it’s not like Carlos is trying to hide it, an arm always around your waist or sometimes hands on your hips. This time though, it’s Charles that’s watching. He watches as the Spaniard touches you so easily as though he’s done it a thousand times before. He watches as you’re quick to relax against his chest, your soft easy smile painting your face and a certain glint in your eyes that Charles knows so well.
Carlos, as Charles is beginning to realize, is a pretty fucking great liar. When they’re together with the team, talking cars and strategies or with the marketing team, doing challenges and interviews, it’s like nothing’s ever changed, both of them still so close. The only noticeable difference now is that you’re rarely on Charles’ side. Instead, you choose to always be by Carlos’, barely sparing your childhood best friend a glance as you stare at the Spaniard as though he hangs the stars and the moon.
Eventually though, the unsaid stare off they often shared comes to a close. It had been during the spanish grand prix with Charles naively thinking he’s doing his teammate a good deed by knocking on his door before the marketing team comes and nags him about a video that needs shooting. Charles didn’t want them to be late and he didn’t want Carlos to have to stand for a lecture.
But when he opens the door, not having bothered to knock, thinking it’s just another boring weekend before a race with Carlos on his phone like the thousand other weekends before that.
Charles couldn’t be more wrong though because instead of the sight of Carlos engrossed in his phone, you're laying on his lap, the dress you wore bunched up around your waist and your eyes shut close as soft moans escaped your lips. Carlos has a hand holding you in place while another is busy assaulting your cunt, three fingers deep inside you, pumping in and out at such a brutal pace that has you biting your lower lip till you can taste blood, tears dripping down to your cheeks.
Charles is frozen in place, the sight of you so open, so perfectly spread for Carlos, caused him to swallow deeply. He can hear the filthy sound of Carlos’ fingers leaving your cunt only to unrelentingly push back in.You’re far too gone to even notice his presence, your fourth orgasm on Carlos’ fingers having completely drained your body as you keep taking more, but Carlos looks up at Charles, the pace of his fingers disappearing within the lips of your cunt never stopping as he raises an eyebrow.
The smirk pulling at his lips brings Charles back down to earth, forcing himself to look away from your naked body as he spun on his heel, shutting the door behind him.
Charles can feel his heart racing, his pants suddenly much tighter than it had been minutes ago. The sound of your moans keeps repeating in his head, completely distracting him from the tasks at hand.
After fixing his erection, Charles finds his way back to the hospitality, reuniting with his media aid as he tries to shake the sight of you whispering and messy on Carlos’ knees.
“Where’s Carlos?” One of the Ferrari people asks him, but Charles only shrugs, not quite sure if he’s able to use his voice.
A few minutes pass as the team waits for Carlos till the Spaniard finally emerges from his drivers room, hair messy and lips swollen. No one but Charles seems to notice though and the memory of you on his lap haunts Charles as he meets his teammate’s gaze, smug and proud as he runs his hand through his hair.
Carlos claps Charles on the shoulder, mischief clear in his hazel eyes. “Finders keepers, right?”
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𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫. - 04
↳ Genre: Angst, Fluff
↳ Pairing: college!gojo x fem!reader
↳ Warnings: unrequited love
↳ Playlist: (will link here!)
↳ Masterlist: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10
“And therein lies the whole of man's plight. Human time does not turn in a circle; it runs ahead in a straight line. That is why man cannot be happy: happiness is the longing for repetition.”
You can hear a clock ticking somewhere in your mind.
You don’t know what it means - or where it originated from; but the moment you stepped foot in Tokyo - the city that is never dimmed - the ticking started. When Shoko welcomed you in her arms after months of not seeing each other, the sound had only started to become louder. The ticking sounded so bizarre that it was enough to make you anxious, although you couldn’t figure out why.
It almost seemed as though it was warning you.
You had been at Shoko’s place since 8 AM. You didn’t realize how tired you were until you literally collapsed in her bed the moment you reached her bedroom; and despite having a whole itinerary prepared on your first day in Tokyo, Shoko understood that you had every reason to be this exhausted since you’ve been up early, and probably needed a proper rest. She was quick to tuck you in after seeing your passed-out form on her bed (and took pictures of you drooling, which she had sent to Yuuta as proof that you made it to Tokyo and were not left dead in a ditch somewhere).
Shoko knows you are in between a heavy sleeper and a light sleeper. When you’re exhausted, you tend to be on the heavy sleeper side, but if it’s just any normal day, a knock on the door could be enough to jolt you awake; and today, you’re the latter.
Thankfully, you woke up around 10 AM - right in time to spot Shoko getting dressed right in front of you after getting out of the shower. Groggily, you rubbed your eyes and sat up, catching Shoko’s attention.
“Thank the heavens you’re awake,” Shoko sighed, combing her hair. “I was going to get lunch without you if you didn’t wake up before 12.”
You rolled your eyes. “Yeah right. As if you don’t have a whole itinerary prepared for me. I bet getting lunch is the first thing on the list.”
Stifling a peal of laughter, Shoko sent you a playful wink. “You’re right. But! I was this close to getting lunch all by myself.” She emphasized her statement by putting her fingers together as if to gesture how close she was to ditching you.
“And please hurry up and shower! I want to show you around,” She adds, throwing the towel she recently bought for you. You groaned in protest but took it nonetheless.
You stood up to give your body a good stretch only to be shoved into the bathroom by Shoko. Yells of protests could be heard behind the bathroom door, but Shoko (in the middle of putting her eyeshadow) looked unbothered.
“Tokyo awaits you, Y/N! Now shut it and wash your hair.”
You’ve been In Tokyo for 3 hours only, but walking the streets with Shoko’s warmth beside you felt like you were back at home at Osaka, just like old times. Seeing your best friend up close, you couldn't help but notice how much she has grown; she looked different from the kid who used to force you to hunt shiny items on school grounds after school so she can add them to her collection. At the same time, Shoko never felt distant or different - she always felt like home to you, no matter how long the both of you can go on without takin to each other.
But if you were 100% honest with yourself, that’s not the main reason why walking the streets of Tokyo felt familiar.
Gojo Satoru.
Before you knew it, your mind was quick to fixate on the idea of who Gojo Satoru might be. You managed to dodge the whole email thing for only 3 hours, but you knew there was no way your mind would let you rest from the idea of him. Everything about the situation you were in felt like a mystery; you were eager to put all the pieces together to see the big picture, to see how it ends.
To see him, perhaps.
The steps you were taking suddenly felt heavy at the thought of him. Gojo Satoru. His sadness bleeding right through his words and you welcomed it without hesitation. Now you’re left wandering in the dark, stuck between letting go and finishing the whole tragic tale you were never even meant to witness in the first place.
You were just an accident. You had to remind yourself of that. You should’ve been honest with him in the first place; you could’ve responded with a “Sorry, you messaged the wrong user.” instead of embracing every letter as if they were yours. You pretended as though there was no exit in this situation, but the truth is, every door was open in the first place; you were free to walk out and never look back.
But somehow, you never managed to let go.
The ticking starts again. It’s louder than before, but not too overwhelming; nonetheless, it bothered you. It’s as if a bomb was embedded within you and is counting down till its explosion. Maybe my nap wasn’t enough? You thought, closing your eyes for a second. You were thankful Shoko’s holding you by the wrist, practically guiding you through the busy streets of Tokyo.
When Shoko stopped, you were quick to open your eyes. You were greeted by the smell of freshly baked bread and the sound of high school students’ laughter echoing inside the bakeshop. Shoko turned to you with a grin, wrapping one arm around your shoulders as she spoke. “Welcome to one of the best bakeshops in town! I have tons of memories to share with you here!”
Your eyes roamed around for a second, breathing in the smell of bread and pasta, before landing on something familiar. Something wedged between the bakeshop and a high school campus.
Your whole body froze, and as if on cue, the ticking started again.
I’ve finally scored your favorite book. I went to the bookshop we’d often visit when we were in high school. You know, the one next to the lemon bakeshop near the old campus. You called it a cursed one—because every time you go there with a book in mind, you always left with a sullen look. You never once bought a book there because somehow, the universe always wanted you to lose.
Because right in front of you,
was the living memory
of two people
you were never meant to witness.
Come home, Aki.
The ticking stops.
You couldn’t think straight.
Shoko was right in front of you, blabbering about how she always eats in this particular bakeshop since it was convenient for her. You managed to process something along the lines of how It’s a 10 minute walk from her apartment, plus, the food was excellent here. The owners knew her because she was a regular and she often received on-the-house desserts for being a loyal customer.
Other than that, you blanked out. Your mind was completely fixated on the bookshop next to you - a living monument of the tragic tale unfolding right in front of you. A proof that it’s real; they’re real.
It felt different, having been to one of the locations Gojo has been talking about in his emails. It’s a different kind of shock; because it’s registering in your mind still that the messages you were getting were definitely real, and they definitely happened.
After lunch, Shoko immediately took out her phone to show you the fun places you both need to visit while the sun’s still up. You paid attention, feeling bad at how your mind had been fixated somewhere else when you went to Tokyo in the first place to be able to spend time with her. She emphasized how it would be better to go around the city while the train stops aren’t filled with people yet, because it might be harder to onboard one at a later time.
“Let’s visit cafes,” Shoko beamed as you both walked out of the door. The lady behind the counter did not forget to throw Shoko a “come back soon, Shoko!” with the biggest smile on her face.
You heart was tugging you somewhere. It’s as if there was an imaginary force trying to turn your head towards the direction of the bookshop; not taking no for an answer. You wanted to open your mouth and agree with Shoko; to turn away as early as now, to go and forget about all of these.
Another door open. You just need to escape.
This could be it.
You didn’t know what took over you when you blurted out a suggestion that had Shoko sending a “um, sorry, what?” look your way.
“Actually, could we visit the bookshop there?”
You came off stiff. You couldn’t hear yourself, honestly, because the ticking was so loud in your head you thought you were going to faint. You didn’t even wait for Shoko to say yes because you were already marching towards the entrance of the bookshop.
Upon entering, you were welcomed with the scent of wood; this was a scent you were used to, since you were a bookworm. You loved reading.
When you were in high school, you would often visit the library during school events (because you refused to participate) and spent all day just reading. Shoko would often come with you as an excuse to sleep. The old librarian was nice enough to let everything pass, but when they had a new librarian-turn-over, you had been caught by the newly hired on your 3rd year of escaping Sports Day and Talents Night, and that was when the new rule in the library started.
NOTICE: STUDENTS CAN ONLY BORROW A MAXIMUM OF 5 BOOKS PER WEEK. NO OVERSTAYING DURING SCHOOL EVENTS.
That was when the journey for the [email protected] started.
To make a loophole for this new “rule”, you used your emails for when you had to write in each book’s library card. Shoko was your puppet, borrowing books under this email address that the librarian never bothered to read anyway. Up until you both graduated, you continued this method.
Your book count during your high school days was around 300. Shoko almost lost it.
Now you were here, surrounded by books and love and insanity (for what you were doing). There weren’t many customers around, just two high-schoolers who were searching through the bookshelves.
“because every time you go there with a book in mind, you always left with a sullen look. You never once bought a book there because somehow, the universe always wanted you to lose. “
You didn’t know what to expect. It looked like.. a normal bookshop, if the circumstances were different. It felt like a place you’d run into during a storm. Bookshops were our second home. But being inside this particular one made you feel different. You felt.. as though you were guilty.
“Can I help you?” A teenager dressed in a brown polo shirt and black slacks approached you with a kind smile (almost shy). Maya, her tag read. You blinked in realization. You were so fixated on someone else’s memory that you forgot about how stupid you must’ve looked, just standing there observing.
“Uh,” You coughed, your cheeks heating up from embarrassment. You looked around to see Shoko browsing a bookshelf on her own, three books already in her grip. You felt relieved that she had followed you without question; she’s probably thinking that you came in to buy books and not because you were acting as though you were chasing something else (you fall under this category). You glanced back at Maya and sent her a small smile “I think - I think I’m okay. I can find books on my own, I guess.”
Maya nodded with a smile. “But if you need help in finding specific books, genres, and authors, just approach the front desk and I’ll help you.” with that, she walked off. Something clicked in your mind, however; a detail you somehow remembered in this exact moment.
Haruki Murakami.
“Actually,” You started, making Maya turn around.
Norwegian Wood.
“Could you help me find Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami?”
Maya frowned, shaking her head. She gave you a disappointed look. “Oh no, the last one in stock had just been purchased yesterday. It’s quite a famous one. I can recommend something else if you like.”
Well, today, we won, Aki. Took us years, but hey, better late than ever, right?
Your stomach twisted weirdly. Though you cannot comprehend why, somehow, you felt disappointed that you couldn’t get your hands on the book.
But you were confused with yourself at the same time - why were you even trying to get the book in the first place? It’s as if you were beginning to merge with the memory that wasn’t even yours in the first place. You didn’t have the right to experience it.
After all, you are not her.
Thanking the kid, you sent her a smile before walking over to Shoko.
“Found what you were looking for?” Shoko asked, too busy to look up from the book she was reading.
Ding!
A sound all too familiar.
You froze.
“Yeah,” You breathed out, phone vibrating in the pocket of your skirt. “I found it.”
If there are things we were meant to find,
then there are things we weren’t meant to face,
and (you shouldn’t have tried searching)
because at the end of the day,
this was not yours to lose.
↳ 𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓪𝓸'𝓼 𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓻!
hi everyone, it’s kao!
it’s been 2 weeks since my last update and i’m terribly sorry for missing the weekly updates! i have been so busy with life and [dealing] with personal stuff. i also have a minor writer’s block so i’m having a hard time writing chapters 6 and up!! today though, got my spark back so i’m probably going to keep the fire burning ʕ •ɷ•ʔฅ
also, please please bear with me! this was supposed to be a slow burn fic bc i really wanted the reader to get to know satoru through his emails, but i do understand that some of you may be anticipating his entrance in this fic!! ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)
anyways, i might double-update this week who knows ;) ՞ ⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ՞⸜ ♡ ⸝
as always, a feedback/reblog would me a lot to me! thank you for the smol appreciation you guys have shown! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡
see u guys in chapter 05!
kao, out! ʚ♡ɞ
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