#I thought they were going to notice yesterday and I straight up almost passed out in hindsight. kind of funny

[surskip]

guys i fucked up at work yesterday and accidentally wore away like a 3x4 inch area of paint off the wall so you think my manager will mention it to me on my shift tomorrow

[empresskylo]

beneath the mask ✩ chapter 12 ⬅ch.11

➠𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 ➠SIMON "GHOST" RILEY X AFAB!READER ➠CHAPTER TAGS | wc 3.5k ➠AUTHOR'S NOTE | i am sooooooooo sorry if this seems ooc for ghost. i wanted to write him acting more empathetic while also maintaining his cold demeanor. i think some people tend to write him one way or the other and so i tried to balance it a bit more to be realistic. but if this felt ooc for ghost im so sorry!! feedback is appreciated so i can improve upcoming chapters! <3

𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

the startling realization that you were sleeping in simon’s room is what woke you up that following morning. you sat up in his bed, the covers falling away from your chest, and you noticed he was gone. it was strange how this was the second time you shared a bed—completely platonically—with him and he was m.i.a. come morning.

you tried not to think too deeply about it, not wanting to get your feelings hurt even more than they already were. you were able to put what had happened between the two of you in the back of your mind yesterday, squishing down his words that hurt you so badly. 

you looked good in your dress. that’s all. m’sorry.

but that was yesterday. that was when he was the first face you saw after thinking you were about to be tortured. the face that rescued you. that was when he carried you back to base, his arms around you like a safety blanket. when he was the sense of security you desperately needed. when you felt like you needed him. 

this morning, your mind was far clearer. you even realized how stupid you were to let simon be that person for you when johnny was right there. 

you scurried from his room, still draped in his shirt, and made it back to your own. you told yourself you would visit the infirmary today, not for work, but to get yourself checked out. you weren’t hurt too badly, nothing that couldn’t heal with a little time. but still, you should really get checked over. and you were sure laswell or price would want to have a word with you about everything that happened. 

before you even managed to shift through your thoughts, johnny was at your door.

“how’re ya feelin’?” 

you grabbed your toiletries bag and spun to face to scot. “i’m okay.”

he gave you a once over. “are you sure?” he said a bit softer.

you gave him a gentle smile. “don’t worry, i’m just going to shower. then straight to the infirmary to get checked out.” you gave him a mock salute. 

johnny shook his head as he followed you out your door and down the hall towards the showers. “no, not that.” you glanced at him. “well, no, of course i wanted to make sure you were gonna be seen by a medic, but i was referring to the… psychological side of things.”

you laughed at his phrasing. “i’ll be okay, johnny. seriously. i mean, i know what happened terrified me and hasn’t left my thoughts since, but i could be a lot worse.” you were trying to make light of the situation. and while johnny understood that all too well, he still wasn’t convinced you were truly back to normal just a day after your kidnapping. 

you were taken a bit back. for once, soap didn’t seem to appreciate your humor. “and with ghost?” 

you almost dropped your bag, stumbling in your steps. “w-what about him?” 

“i saw him carrying you into base. the way ya clung to him. i just want t’make sure you’re okay.” his eyes trailed the shirt you were wearing—'swimming in' was more accurate—knowing it wasn't yours, but ghost's.

you sighed before spinning to face him. you wanted to make this very clear to soap: “he was the first person i saw. he was the one i saw close on my tail when i was trapped in that truck. he was the face who barged into that room after slaughtering men, pulling me out of that hole. i think i was just overwhelmed and felt like i needed him . y’know… a safety thing. but that has passed. i’m fine. fine .” soap raised a brow, not quite believing you. “nothing happened,” you said a bit bashful, noticing the way soap was staring at you like he thought more had gone down last night, and wearing ghost's shirt sure wasn't helping. “he just kept me company so i could fall asleep without thinking about…” your words trailed off. “point is, i appreciate you looking out for me, but i’m okay. i won’t let him…” a beat of silence passed as you looked for the words. “i won’t read things wrong again.” the sentence was a struggle to get out; like ash on your tongue.

you could see the concern on johnny’s face, so before he could protest and pry more, you slipped into the women’s showers so he couldn’t follow.

after showering and visiting the infirmary—-yes, you have been cleared—-you were making your way to price’s office. you assumed laswell would be there as well. 

you adjusted your black shirt as you strolled the halls, careful to not move in any way that would hurt your sore ribs. you walked past the gym, peeking in to see if you could spot gaz, surprised he hadn’t come to see you yet, and you almost choked on your spit.

you spotted simon—- ghost—- across the room in workout gear, addressing a new recruit. you hadn’t recognized her but you knew there were new recruits coming in this week so you assumed her to be one of them. 

you tried to pull your eyes away, but they were latched on to the tall brute and the shorter woman beside him. ghost hunched over slightly as he spoke to her and you saw her smile. her hand reached out and touched his arm softly and you felt your fists clench. 

ghost wasn’t yours . 

he was barely even your friend. he could flirt with whoever he wanted. it shouldn’t matter to you. and you knew you were overreacting. who's to say they were flirting? you hadn’t known ghost to be the best charmer, so why would he all of a sudden be cozying up to a woman he only just met?

soap’s words popped into your head: come to think of it. i don’t think i’ve known ghost to have hooked up with anyone since i’ve met the bastard.

all these rational thoughts and yet you ignored them. all you felt was a pang in your gut as you watched him instruct her, testing her skills, his hand lingering on her hip a bit too long. his eyes locked on hers. 

you didn’t feel any tears welling—so that was an improvement—all you felt was disappointment. ghost was emotionally unavailable. he also explicitly said he didn’t want you. this fantasy you had of him in your head was purely that: a fantasy. 

you had thought maybe he felt differently with the way his eyes traced your curves last night in the light of the bathroom. that maybe him letting you see him with his mask off was him letting you in. that he wanted to form some sort of relationship with you even if it was foreign to him.

but all of those thoughts went out the door. there were so many reasons why it would never work between the two of you. seeing him with that woman wasn’t what made you feel that way. all it did was remind you of the reality of your situation.

you sulked into price’s office, the smell of cigars filling your nose.

price’s warm greeting, his gentle smile, and his all-over fatherly presence set you back at ease. 

when laswell entered, her soothing hand on your shoulder reminded you that you could live so fucking easily without ghost. you had a family here. and while you had hoped to let ghost become one of those people to you, it wasn’t the end of the world by any means if he didn’t.

a week had passed and you had resorted to pretending like anything private that ever happened between you and ghost had never occurred. you weren’t going to sulk over him any longer. you thought he was attractive. that was it. you hooked up once and it didn’t work out. you were an adult, you could move on. 

you laughed animatedly at soap, grabbing his arm in your fit. ghost spotted you across the training room, your laughter floating over into his space, pissing him off.

he expected you to have wanted to talk to him after that night in his room. but you never did. you never sought him out. never came by to let him know everything at the infirmary checked out okay. granted, he never came after you either. 

he got up when he saw you leaving and followed you out the door. 

“iaso,” he called.

you stopped and spun to face him, smiling. “what’s up, lt.?” 

ghost was a bit taken aback by your friendly demeanor. not that you weren’t a friendly person, but you were acting oddly like nothing ever happened. like ghost hadn’t pulled you into his arms a week ago, his chest pounding and his arms shaking as he held you.

“jus’ wanted to see if you were okay,” he said dumbly.

“all good. don’t worry, i’ve been cleared to be back to work.” you smiled then turned and walked away.

ghost had never been left so dumbfounded before. he cracked his knuckles in annoyance.

you seemed to be ignoring him. 

whenever ghost entered a room you were in, you’d leave. he saw you linking arms with soap as you walked the halls, never meeting ghost’s eyes. he knew soap was visiting you in the infirmary on your breaks and he always seemed awkward when it came up between them. you even managed to get out of a poker session where ghost was present. you had stood up the second he walked into that room, calling it a night and tossing your cards in the middle of the table.

“she’s ignoring me,” ghost huffed as he shuffled through the dossiers on his desk. he was acting like he had any claim over you. like he had a right to your friendship.

“who?” soap asked. ghost looked up and glared at his friend. “i think you give yourself too much credit. she’s not ignoring you, lt. she’s just accepted your rejection and moved on with her life.”

“i didn’t reject her.”

soap rolled his eyes. “you really wanna go down that road?” 

ghost mumbled in annoyance as he stared at the words on the paper before him. 

“didn’t think you’d care, if i’m being honest.”

ghost glared at soap, waiting for him to elaborate since he clearly wanted to further this conversation.

“ her opinion of you ,” soap clarified. “you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing from her, so i just assumed that meant you wouldn’t be bothered by her ignoring you n’all.” 

ghost tapped his pen on his desk. “so she is ignoring me, then.”

“i didn’t say that.”

ghost knew he couldn’t fight logistics with soap, with soap being… soap and all. “we have actual shit t’go over. important intel before we depart friday.” 

soap slipped into the chair in front of ghost’s desk. “you started it.” 

“i didn’t—- bloody hell ,” he grumbled rubbing his hand over his face. soap tried to hold back his smirk. 

“y’know she’s coming with us,” soap said, referencing the mission soon to happen in the coming days based on the information the men had acquired from valeria. 

“well aware,” ghost said flatly. 

the idea of you being forced to be in ghost’s proximity tomorrow, knowing you couldn’t avoid it like you had been, made his chest swell slightly. he didn’t want to admit this to himself, but he wanted you to want him. desperately . and hearing soap talk about you, always seeing the two of you together, ghost felt like he was pushing you straight into his friend’s arms. 

he should have been okay with that. whether he found you attractive or not, he shouldn’t have felt jealous when he saw you with soap. he’s found plenty of women attractive, and plenty of them were involved with someone else. that usually didn’t bother ghost at all. he was fine admiring pretty ladies knowing they would never be his. he didn’t want them to be his. so this resentment he was feeling towards soap was new to him. 

he unclenched his fist. 

“jus’ wanna make sure you’re gonna behave yourself,” soap chimed. 

“christ, johnny. i’m not—”

soap cut him off. “i’m serious, lt. i know i don’t have this kind of authority, but she doesn’t deserve whatever it is that's going on inside your twisted head.” soap gestured widely at ghost, implying he was all sorts of messed up. “i’d die protecting her. and if it means i’d have to die in your clutches, then so be it.”

ghost refrained from rolling his eyes and soap’s dramatics. though, he did admire soap’s loyalty. 

shifting the conversation away from you, ghost debriefed soap on prep for the coming mission, letting him know— almost —everything planned. 

it was late when ghost spotted you. you didn’t see him as he stalked you around the bend of the hallway.

finally, you were alone. not linking arms with soap or laughing with gaz. you were alone as you walked through the halls of the barracks. if you had known ghost would have spotted you, you would have likely stayed in your room. but you had no idea the masked man was trailing behind you. 

ghost hadn't been planning on talking to you, irate by the way you’ve been ignoring him, but when he saw you, his feet moved on their own accord. the hall lights flickered, creating an ominous glow. he surmised you were heading back to the infirmary even though he knew your shift was already over. maybe you forgot something?

and then one of ghost’s steps was a tad too loud because you looked over your shoulder and he watched as your eyes widened momentarily. you scrunched up your nose and faced forward, your pace increasing. “are you following me?”

“this is my quarters jus’ as much as it is yours,” he grunted. 

you rolled your eyes. “well… it's plenty big enough. you could always go a different way.”

“still not talkin’ to me, then?”

you could sense him catching up and it made the hackles on your neck rise. “what’re you—”

“i know you’ve been ignoring me. don’t try t’lie your way outta this.”

you turned around and began to walk backward so you could face him when you spoke. “i’m not really in the mood to have this conversation right now.” you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“well, good thing i wasn’t askin’.”

your mouth parted in surprise at his bluntness. you quickly spun on your heels, not wanting the emotions you had been shoving down for the past week to come back up. if you could just avoid him a little longer, you’d be able to move on. if he would only just—

in your nerves, you reached a dead end of one of the many barren halls. you were going to turn and scurry past him, not even wanting to grab your bag you left in the infirmary any longer, you just wanted to get away from him. but before you had the chance, ghost’s arms were on either side of your head, hands flat against the wall, caging you into his chest. your back was to him and your only view was the blank drywall. the corner he had you trapped in was dark and you figured even if you did spin to face the beast behind you, you wouldn’t be able to make much of him out. you hated that a swirl of arousal filled your stomach remembering him being this close to you in that tiny closet he shoved the two of you into all those weeks ago. 

“ghost, i don’t wanna—”

“ simon ,” he said a little aggressively. 

you gulped, his words grazing the edge of your neck as he spoke. you were quiet as you waited for him to say more. “you sure you’re ready to go back out on location?” he asked, referring to the upcoming mission you were going to be a part of. 

“is that it? you’re worried i’m broken or some shit like that?” your words screamed irritation, but your voice sounded more hurt than angry. “that i don’t know my own limits and can’t decide when i’m good to be back? that i’ll slow you down? i told you i was cleared!” you knew you were inferring a lot from his one little sentence, but you wanted to be mad. to be angry at him. 

“i didn’t say that.”

“no. but it’s what you meant.”

you heard ghost sigh and his hands dropped down to his side. you felt the warmth of his chest still behind you so you didn’t dare move to look at him.

“i know what it’s like t’lose everyone you love,” he started. 

“what does that have to do with any—-?”

“would you jus’ shut up for one second n’ listen for once?” 

you swallowed hard and nodded your head. he let out a breath. he knew he had snapped at you, but this was difficult for him. he wanted to get this out before he second-guessed himself and let you walk away forever. 

“i lost my entire family to men a lot more evil than me. did everythin’ in my power to get revenge. so i know what it’s like to love and t’lose.”

“did it help?” you asked softly. “revenge?”

you could hear the tension in ghost’s words as he mumbled them behind you. the only reason he was able to answer this question was due to the fact that you were turned away from him. if you two had been looking into each other’s eyes… he didn’t think he’d have to ability to open up. “depends how ya look at it. that kind’a dedication to death—never stoppin’ till you feel blood on your hands—takes a toll on ya. i think it’s what made me so… unbearable. but the general doesn’t seem t’think so. made me a stronger soldier in shepherd’s eyes.”

you felt your breath waver as you listened. 

“i wouldn’t have jus’ killed for them, i woulda died. it was years ago now that i was captured on duty. was tortured. buried alive. locked up. abused.” simon cleared his throat. “think it made me unwillin’ to let people in , as you would word it. i don’t know if i could survive another loss like that, like when i lost my mother and brother. s’not a feelin’ i ever plan on livin’ through again.”

“simon…”

“and you, ” he said a bit more potently. “you have been messin’ everythin’ up. when you n’ laswell were taken… it felt like when i saw my brother and his wife dead on their living room floor. the only thing i saw was red. i woulda done anything t’get you back. i couldn’t let this happen again. i couldn’t fail the people i cared about again.”

it pained you to know that simon placed all the blame on anything bad happening to those around him on himself. “laswell, too?” you said, but more as a question. you were purposefully trying to avoid the romantic ideation behind his words.

“no,” he said immediately, without a second thought. “course i wanted her back. but it didn’t feel the same as the way i wanted you.”

i wanted you . those words made your chest tighten. 

“why are you telling me all this?” you finally asked after a lull. 

“i jus’ wanted you t’know that i don’t mean t’hurt you. that maybe i needa try harder. and that… i’m sorry.”

you felt a single tear escape and slide down your cheek. you took a moment to steady your breathing, trying to reel in all of simon’s words.

when you spun to face him, unsure of what you’d find in his expression, you gasped. he was gone. you didn’t even hear him as he took off down the hall with your back still to him. 

eventually, walking alone back to your room, you let the tears fall freely. you cried for simon’s past. for his losses. for your own losses. for the strange sense of love you felt radiating off of him as he told you he’d move the world just to get you back safely. for the stupid feelings you had brewing in your chest. for the way you couldn’t decide if you wanted him to wrap his arms around you or if you wanted to hold him as he told you more. 

simon felt like he couldn’t let someone else in. that he wouldn’t survive it. but you wouldn’t leave him if he did. and you needed to tell him that. you needed to show him that he might be a bit broken, lost from his path, but you’d help him find the light again, as cheesy as that sounded. you would show him how beautiful it was to love even after losing so much. that it was possible. he deserved to be loved. he deserved to be happy. he wasn’t some emotionless robot, no matter what the army thought of him. and you wanted to help him realize that. 

chapter 13 ➡

[beforeimdeceased]

A GIRL IS MISSING: LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD ❄️🧣⚰️

synopsis: someone left behind a beautiful corpse.

a/n: finally putting the mystery/thriller into this mystery/thriller fanfic wooo! if you wanna set the tone while reading: i listen to a lot of ethel cain and princess chelsea while writing this series!

masterlist

walking over to them felt like a juvenile attempt at making friends. your body clenched. sweat dripping down your neck and building at your hairline. teeth making crescents into the sides of your tongue. you appear before the three grievers and struggle between offering a smile or a handshake or both. you settle for an awkward wave. ellie is too busy comforting abby and they don’t notice you, but jesse does. he gives you a simple nod.

it’s interesting being this close to them. watching their dynamic. abby is completely torn in the way you’d imagine ellie should be. ellie is frowning but in the way you’d imagine jesse might be. jesse has the tear streaks you thought ellie would have. you take a deep breath, awaiting maria’s further instructions.

“alright and team 4,” she pauses looking over at their sad faces. “we’re going to have you guys search near the creek.”

you remember playing by that creek. using the water for mud pies and dirtying up your hands and clothes. coming home and getting lectured about it. getting asked about the stains at school. you were an explorer, an adventurer, and a creative out there. you’d hoped that time didn’t make all that wash away.

jesse drove. ellie took the passenger’s seat, fingers fiddling with a ring. a cursive letter d etched into a heart on top of it. abby sat in the back with you, her head looking outside the window. watching the life pass by.

you couldn’t stop yourself from trying to figure them out. which one was the last to see her? what did they talk about? what did she say? do any of them think she’s alive? are any of them hiding something? do they know where she is? did they kill her? are they planning on killing you now because they can tell you’re figuring them out?

“i can’t do this sober.” ellie breaks you out of your thoughts. you realize that you’ve already arrived at the creek. jesse pops open his glove box and pulls out a flask. your stomach sinks a bit, you feel guilty for being accusatory. even if it’s just in your head.

“one sip, each of us gets one,” he takes his. “but we need our heads on straight if we’re going to find her.” jesse hands it to ellie. she looks at him, a real mean piercing gaze. something crude on her tongue? she puts the flask to her lips and takes a sip, then holds her hand out back towards you.

you can’t refuse, it’d be rude. so you take it and take a sip, then you look over at abby. you’re scared to touch her. to scare her. to make her start crying again after she’s finally calmed down. it’s almost as if ellie can read your mind, she calls out abby’s name.

“what is it? oh, we’re already here? i zoned out.” she looks away from the window and you hold the flask out in front of her. jesse looks at her through his rearview mirror. “one sip. and make sure you’re wearing your gloves, you don’t need anymore bruises on your hands.”

she takes a sip. “because people get funny ideas?” she raises her eyebrows. saying it like it’s something we’re all supposed to know the answer to. like it’s a stupid question. jesse shakes his head. “no, because i care about you. but, you make a good point.”

“you’ve just been crying a lot.” ellie chimes up. “i thought you would’ve run dry yesterday, but you’re still crying.”

your eyes widen as you listen to them. attempting to decipher what all of this means. if what you were thinking earlier was true. if these would be your last moments alive, because now you certainly knew too much.

abby looks over at you. “do i cry too much? wouldn’t anyone cry this much if someone they cared about was gone?”

you open your mouth to speak but you’re interrupted. “you say that like she’s not gonna come back.” jesse grips the steering wheel.

“she didn’t fucking run away.” ellie scoffs, rolling her eyes. “cmon let’s go before we lose daylight.”

as you leave the car, you take a deep breath. the tension in that moment was rigid. suffocating. why were they arguing? is that normal? you’d never been alone with these three. you’d barely even had a conversation long enough to remember. you didn’t know these people. you didn’t know what you’d gotten yourself into by volunteering. you didn’t know what was going to happen at this creek.

“if we split up, we’ll cover more ground. do you know the creek well?”

it takes a moment before you realize jesse is talking to you. you nod, and he looks at ellie. “alright ellie, you go with her. i’ll go with abby. let’s meet back here in twenty minutes. i’m serious about that too, a storm’s coming.”

“well we never would’ve known, weather man. thank you.” ellie trudges towards you, wrapping her scarf around her face. jesse rolls his eyes before walking in the opposite direction with abby. you look over at ellie before gesturing your head forwards. you start walking ahead of her hearing her boots hit the snow behind you. then she speeds up and walks next to you. sniffling.

“didn’t you think abby was being weird back there in the car?” she starts. “i mean, it seems to me like she thinks i know something. like i’m hiding something because i’m not bursting into fucking tears every three seconds but…it’s not like i’m not sad. fuck.”

you nod along, pulling a flashlight out to get a better look at the ground. at any possible fresh track marks in the snow.

“i’m angry, at myself mostly. i’m fucking…scared. i miss my girlfriend.”

she looks over at you, and you nod. you don’t say anything you just nod. you let her know she’s understood.

the crack of a tree branch is heard closer to the deeper end of the forest. closer to the frozen over creek. you look at each other once before walking towards it. stomping on in the snow while periodically wiping at your nose.

when you reach where you can guess the sound came from, you hand ellie the flashlight. “here, hold it towards the water. there could be something around here.”

she does as you ask, holding it still so you can look. in all honesty, you were losing hope and just trying to pass the minutes by. it was fucking freezing, and from what you’d learned at the after-search meetings, dina was scared of this part of the woods. she wouldn’t come through here for a million dollars, jesse’s words verbatim.

“you know the police won’t even help out? they don’t think she’s missing. maria’s the only adult in this town who gives a fuck.” ellie chimes up as you wipe some snow off of a rock. you look back towards her, cough up into the icy air, then stand. “what about your uncle? isnt he on the force.”

she looks away for a moment. even though you can’t see her frowning you can tell from the sadness in her eyes. “i don’t wanna talk about it-“

a horrific and tragic scream is heard in the distance. the scream of a young woman. you both turn your heads towards it, then each other, before running to the commotion. it takes two minutes to get through the barren woods. ellie tripped once, and you twice, before coming across jesse and abby. abby is wailing, worse than she was in the church. worse than you’d ever seen her. you can almost hear ellie’s heart stop.

“els don’t look.” jesse grabs her before she can reach the scene. she’s beating against him with her hands, cursing harsh under the scarf. “what is it jesse? tell me what is it? what the fuck is going on?” her voice cracks and tears begin to fall as she falls into him.

you walk past abby, who’s on the ground holding her stomach. she pulls her scarf off and runs behind a tree. you can hear her throwing up. throwing up and crying.

you could’ve never guessed that you’d be seeing what you were right now. not in a million years. a bloody young woman who looked like she’d been ripped in half by some heinous creature. her insides on full display for you. her skin discolored. and the smell, it was god awful. and in what you could only guess was her hands, a heart necklace with the letter e in cursive etched into the front.

the worst part was that, from what you could make out, this was not dina. dina didn’t have the tattoos these remains had. dina didn’t have green eyes. so who the hell is this, and how did she get dina’s necklace?

[k-slla]

Hello, goodbye.

A/N: This is my second post for @jacklesversebingo / All mistakes are mine

Square filled: Break-Up

Warnings: Angst, mentions of alcohol, language, cheating, hurt, tiny bit of fluff/comfort

Word count: ~3.5k

My Masterlist

Staring at the bottom of your almost empty tea cup, you waited for Jensen to come home. You grabbed your phone again from the table to send him another text but ended up throwing it on the couch because your previous messages, sent yesterday around noon were left on read by him.

"Hey, babe! I know you're going to board the plane soon, but call me when you land. Miss you!❤️"

Few hours later followed by next one.

"Hey, you haven't called yet:( I know you should be home by now..I'll finish up work in a minute, see you soon!"

And before these were even more calls and messages. More "I miss you's", "Can't wait to see you's" & "Love you's". All went to voicemail or were just left on read. He's just busy, you had tried to reason this silence on his part so far. But when you got home yesterday evening, he was not there. Probably his flight got delayed or phone battery ran out you had thought but as the hours passed, you felt that it was something else. Never has he ignored you or been radio silent for this long. Another full day had passed, without him contacting you. And now you were getting more anxious by the minute. Jared should probably know where Jensen is, right? You wanted to call him but it was already past midnight so you settled on sending him a text. Maybe they went for a drinks and he forgot to tell you. Unlikely, but still a possibility.

You dragged yourself to the kitchen to make another tea, so you could try to get some sleep. While waiting for the kettle, you sent another text to him.

"Jensen, where are you? I'm worried. Call me."

You let out a frustrated sigh and cursed yourself for being such a nervous mess. You decided to ditch the tea and go straight to bed instead. You were certain that his flight was just delayed, which wouldn't exactly explain him ignoring your messages but you were probably just overthinking about everything as always.

You had no idea how long you had been asleep but when you woke up hearing the front door closing, light was dimly shining in through the blinds. Confused, you sat up in bed and looked for your phone. Almost 10am. Jared had sent two messages.

"Sorry, he's not with me:( trying to call now"

"Couldn't reach him, please let me know when he's home"

You could hear Jensen's heavy footsteps downstairs but decided to stay in bed. Mostly to see if he'd come upstairs to wake you. But he didn't, so you threw on a pair of fluffy slippers and a sweater and went downstairs. The smell of fresh coffee hit you as soon you opened the bedroom door.

You tried to stay mad at him longer, for making you worry but when you heard him humming in the kitchen, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He sat at the island with his back towards you, so that gave you a perfect chance to sneak up on him. You hugged him from behind and he flinched.

"Jesus!" He quietly muttered under his breath. "Nope, just me. I missed you!" You whispered into his ear and kissed his stubbly cheek. "You scared me. I thought you were working today. Didn't see your car out." He sounded almost disappointed.

"Sorry." You smiled apologetically. " Didn't I told you that I'm taking the weekend off? We can spend it together before you have to go back." You turned around to pour yourself some coffee. "Did you your flight got delayed? I thought you were coming home on Thursday."

While you were searching for creamer from the fridge, you didn't notice Jensen tensing up at your question. You grabbed your cup and sat down across from him, looking at him questionably. 

"No, it's just- I-" he started evasively. " I just needed some time alone." You stared at him in disbelief. "What?" You asked laughing half-heartedly. "Jensen, we haven't seen each other for two months and you needed more time alone?"

"Did I do or say something?" You asked after a minute of trying to process what he told you. "You've been almost completely ignoring me for the past weeks. Actually it seems like few months even. I feel like-" You reached for his hand across the table but he pulled back. "I feel like I'm losing you."  He took a deep breath in and leaned back in his chair. "I thought- hoped actually- that you were working today, so I could figure it out how to tell you." Your breathing quickened. "Tell me what?"

Jensen looked straight into your eyes. "I'm going to file for a divorce." The coldness in his gaze and tone cut deep. You got confused for a second and squared you shoulders, forcing back tears, that were threatening to spill. You did not expect that. "But what- I mean why? Because I started talking more about having kids?" You had hoped the timing was right for the two of you to start trying at least. You had been together for over five years, married close to two now. Of course you wanted to have kids with him one day.

"I wanted to start family too but- " he stopped, looking for the right words. "I guess people change."

You scoffed. People change. People do change, but it doesn't happen almost overnight like this.

Your thoughts started to run now in one direction only. You were kicking and cursing yourself internally for allowing you even think this. "Is there someone else?" You asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Jensen's face turned stoic. "Does it matter? It's not gonna change anything." He shrugged. Anger was already slowly boiling inside you and that was the last straw.

"Of course it fucking matters, Jensen! If you're cheating on me, the least you could do is to man up and tell the truth." You snapped poisonously, got up from the chair and turned around to leave the kitchen.

"Fuck me." He muttered quietly and called after you bit louder. "Okay. Yes, I cheated on you. There. Do you feel better now?" He asked, sarcasm in his voice unmissable.

You immediately felt sick to your stomach. You turned around to face him again. "Do I feel better? Are you serious?" You were truly astounded and didn't even know how to react to his confession. You couldn't stay there anymore. You walked out of the room and tears finally broke loose. Jensen got up from his chair to follow.

"No! Just leave me alone. Please. I can't do this right now. I'll get out of here and-" you let out a sharp breath "-go to, I don't know, to Elaine's or something. "

"Of course.." he whispered. "Y/N, come on. Don't act like you're without blame here. You-" You cut into his sentence.

"How could you even say that? What did I do for you to go and cheat on me?" You hissed back at him and entered your bedroom. Jensen followed and sat on the bed, as he stared after you walking into the closet and pulling out a suitcase. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Please. Come sit down." You ignored him and started to pack your clothes. "I'll get rest of my stuff next week." You sniffled. "When you're back at work or something."

You folded your clothes sloppily and refused to look at him when he joined you in there. This was not the weekend you had imagined when he said he'll be coming back home. You were excited to finally see him again and just be together and do nothing. You had missed your husband for a long time. Apparently, he did not miss you. You quickly wiped the tears away, when Jensen came to stand behind you and put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around. "Please, Y/N. I want to talk about this. To explain."

Trying to calm yourself down, you looked straight into his eyes. "Okay. Talk."

"No. Come sit down." He nodded to the bed. He tried to guide you towards the bed but you shrugged off his hand and sat down on the bed. Leaning against the headboard, you pulled your knees to your chest. Two of you sat there for few minutes before Jensen started talking. "I really don't know how else to say it. And I don't expect you to believe but I didn't mean to hurt you this way. I'm sorry." His voice was quiet.

"I'm sorry I was such an asshole before. You just caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react."

You still couldn't wrap your mind around it. What went wrong with the two of you? "You're right. I don't believe you. You do not sleep with someone by accident. I'd try to understand- "

"Y/N, I-" You raised one hand to stop him. "No, Jensen, let me talk please. I'd try to understand you if it was just about having kids. I'd try to somehow accept it. But cheating? This was something you chose to do. And this probably wasn't a one time thing either, right?" His silence gave you the answer to your question. You nodded knowingly. "That's what I thought. You did this over and over. While I waited for you at home. Alone. Do you really think your apology will make me feel better?" You took a deep breath, silent tears were rolling down your cheeks again. Last few months had been especially hard without him. Work had gotten crazy with your boss demanding more and more from you. Yes, you had your friends and sister you kept in contact with regularly, but still at nights you felt alone.

 "Is that why you're leaving me? To move on with someone new?" You noticed Jensen tearing up. But still he didn't answer. "Jensen, please. Why can't you just tell me?" He said nothing so you got back up to finish packing. You didn't see the need to sit there and wait for him to answer. "Fine. You say you want to talk, but still won't talk to me, so I'll just go." You threw few more items from the closet into the suitcase and closed it up.

"Y/N, this is your home. You don't have to leave." He finally spoke up. "Well, I can't stay here either." You walked to the bathroom to pack some toiletries. This time Jensen didn't follow you. You closed the door and sat down on the floor. You felt a pressuring pain on the back of your head, but tried to think through it, to figure out your next steps. Of course you didn't want to actually leave, but staying in the house you and Jensen worked hard on to turn into home, would've been even harder. So you chose the easier of the two.

With a deep breath, you pulled out your phone and dialed your sister's number. She has always been very protective over you, so you knew, if you'd tell her about Jensen on the phone, she'd be over in a heartbeat to kick his ass. And he wasn't worth troubling her that much. "Hey, El. Are you busy this weekend?" You tried to sound cheerful, but you couldn't even convince yourself so she'd definitely see through it. "Hey! Not too busy. Why?" She sounded worried already. "I got an awesome idea, involving you, me, bottle of rosé and probably us passing out on your couch. How's that sound?"

She laughed at your proposal. "Definitely have time for that! What's up? Boy troubles?" You sighed and tried to compose yourself. "You could say that." She groaned loudly.

For some reason Jensen and Elaine always had some kind of beef between them. They managed to remain somewhat civil around you but when you were alone with either of them, they just couldn't hold back on straight on bitching about the other. Which was the main cause of your headaches for the past years and made the family gatherings rather uncomfortable. Well, two less things for you to worry about now.

"Do I have come over and kick his ass? Because you know I would."  She said this jokingly, but you knew that there was some truth hidden there. "No! I'll be over soon. See you!"

"Oh, he really messed up this time, huh?" She asked and followed it up quickly. "Well, bring snacks then!"  There was a short pause on the line. "And more wine. Maybe some cake? I'll do the counseling, I think I'll deserve some afterwards."

"Of course. Thank you. Alright, see you soon." You said quietly.

You ended the call and reality pulled you back in. Talking with Elaine always calmed you down. Made you forget your problems, even if just for a moment. You sighed deeply and got up to now actually pack up some necessities.

Few minutes later you stood at the bathroom door, staring at Jensen, sitting on the bed, head down in his hands. You wanted nothing more right now than to just get out of the house. But there was still one question that needed to be answered. You sat down next to him and took one of his hand into yours. "Please look at me." You turned his face gently towards you.

You wanted to stay mad at him.

Scream at him.

Punch him for hurting you this way.

But looking at him, you just couldn't. "It'd be probably better for me not to ask but I need to know this, Jensen. How long were you having the affair for, before you told me?" You looked into his eyes and waited for the band-aid to be ripped. But nothing could've prepared you for this.

 "I'm really really sorry, Y/N. I realize that it doesn't have any worth to you anymore but still I hope you know that I am." He said turning his body towards you. You remained silent and waited for him to continue. "But I- it started just after New Years." You pulled away your hands. You knew you should've let it go. "So almost for a year you came home to me like nothing was wrong?" You asked shakily and let out a sharp breath. Your ears started ringing. He really is an amazing actor, you thought to yourself.

You didn't know whether to cry or be relieved that the truth was out. Now there was nothing holding you back from leaving. You stood up and so was up again the wall around you. The wall that took Jensen forever to break down in the first place. "Ahem, so, uh-" you had trouble finding the words. "I think I've heard what I needed to- you know..move on, I guess." A forced smile grew on your face that didn't reach your eyes. "You can send whatever the papers you need me to sign to my workplace." You took your things and walked out of the room.

Looking around in the living room, you realized how much you're actually going to miss this house. All the memories of the late night trips to the hardware stores during fixing up the house came back to you. You were definitely more of a distraction than help for Jensen at that time. But the arguments over the tone of the flooring and style of the kitchen cabinets resulted usually in hot make up sex in the shower. Which you felt was really your only purpose of picking those fights with him. These memories brought a sad smile onto your lips. Now you refused to call this home, because your home was Jensen. And you didn't have him anymore.

"Are you sure you're not staying here? I'm leaving in two days. You can have the house." He had followed you so quietly, you almost didn't notice him standing behind you.

"No, the house is not what I want." You laughed unhumorously and turned around to face him. Jensen pulled you into a tight hug and just held you close. And you let him do just that.

Everything still seemed as you were in a bad dream. All you wished right now was to wake up. But there was nothing to wake up from. As the realization dawned on you, you almost broke down again. Pushing your face into his chest, you desperately tried to hold yourself together. Leaving him is be the hardest thing you've had to do.

Focus, Y/N, you can cry when you're out of here, you tried to talk yourself down. Put on a brave face in front him, so he wouldn't see how broken you actually are.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and kissed the top of your head.

You took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm sorry, too." After giving him a last hug, you pulled away from him. "I want to hate you right now, Jensen. So much." You laughed lightly through your words. "But I don't think I'll be able to, not before I stop loving you." He gave you a sympathetic look, and you saw that he was hurting too. You stroked his cheek gently. "And I will always love you." You stood up on your toes and pressed a kiss on his lips for the last time. With a heavy sigh you turned away to grab your purse, coat and car keys. "I want the best for you. Truly." You said standing on the door. With a one last look at him, you smiled and stepped out of the house.

Before going to Elaine's, you did a quick stop at a grocery store. Today you felt like not giving a damn, you will get drunk with your sister this afternoon. You picked up more wine and sweet and savory snacks, cake and some fruit. Definitely too much food for the two of you.

"Someone's having a party, huh?" Cashier asked you with a smile on her face.

"Oh, yeah, mhmm, big party tonight."

After packing up your groceries, you dialed El's number again.

"Hey, just got out of store. Be there in 10."

"Alrighty, should I find some glasses for us?" What a dumb question.

"Don't ask stupid questions and come outside to help me with things."

Little while later, two of you were sitting on the couch. "So. Talk to me, Y/N." She snuggled in closer to you. You swirled wine around in the glass and stared into nothing. "Jensen and I are divorcing." You didn't want to look at her and she waited silently for you to continue. "But hey- it's a well known fact that half of marriages end in divorce so-" You tried to lighten your mood but failed miserably at that. "I guess we were just on the wrong side of that equation."

She took the wine glass from you and put both on the table.

"Come here, sweetie." She pulled you into tight embrace as both of you laid on the couch. "I know that's yet another stupid question from me but how are you feeling? Honest answers only."

"Hurt. Disappointed. Sad. I just want to be angry with him, but I can't." You sat up. "He- he found someone new, you know? Well.. He didn't exactly say that but I guess so." Elaine huffed angrily. "He cheated on you?" You nodded silently and topped up your glasses. You could only imagine what was going through her head in that moment. Certainly she'd want to say "I told you so". You waited for any kind of reaction from her, so you sat there in a silence for a while, until she spoke again. "That lying piece of sh-" You interrupted your sisters swearing. "Stop. No, he's really not that." You said smiling sorrowfully.

"Why are you so calm about this? I'd be livid right now. Hell, I am! He betrayed you."

"If he feels like he's happier with someone other than me, then I won't stand in his way." You said quietly. "It hurts like hell, but I won't be some petty ass bitch to him because of that. I just don't have it in me." She laughed at you. "Yeah, you don't. I'd probably be keying his car right now."

You sighed, feeling the light buzz from the wine starting to take over you. "I thought getting drunk with you would make me feel better but what I really want right now, is to sleep. For a week at least. I just can't think of anything else right now."

She got up from the couch, reaching her hand out to you. "Come."

"What? Where?" Your brows furrowed in confusion, but nonetheless you got up.

"You want to sleep, so let's go to sleep." Elaine said so matter-of-factly.

"But didn't you have any plans today?" She pulled you into a tight hug. "Yeah, I did, but you are more important."

Read part 2 here!

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[insertyourselfhere]

Body Swap

A/N: Hello! I'm back with another story idea. I got the idea of course from Your Name. I needed something else to write it was hard enough that I didn't post anything yesterday. SO let me know if you guys like this idea :)

Character Pairing: Gwen Stacy (Ghost Spider) x Reader

MINOR Spoilers for ATSV, like super minor if you squint.

Description: You were hanging out in your room finishing off a book you needed to do an assignment on for school. You got bored halfway and lay the book flat on your face as you let out the biggest sigh. As you did a portal opened above your bed and you were mysteriously sucked into it. You went through this portal yelling as you did. You saw a white light at the end of the hexagon shaped tunnel and were thrown into another bed. You got up looking around noticing you weren’t in your bed anymore, you let out another yell only to not hear your voice but the voice of someone else. As soon as you stopped yelling you looked down at your hands and noticed they weren’t the same as yours, a big man with a bat came sprinting into your room who you didn’t recognise. You yelled once again and passed out from the shock.

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“Gw..” You heard a voice calling out a name, you didn’t want to wake up cause you were having the best sleep of your life so you pushed them away. They came back shaking you gently but you pushed them away again, one final time you felt a light push.

“Gwen wake up” You woke up at the name Gwen, you sat up in your bed and looked at the man leaning over you. You let out a yell at the stranger in your room.

“Woah hey it’s just me, its Dad” You curled up at the end of the bed and looked at this gentle soul who had blonde hair. He was not your dad, your dad was super dead and you definitely saw pictures of him not having blonde hair.

“What’s going on Gwen you look like you’ve seen a ghost” Who the heck was Gwen? Why did he keep calling you Gwen. You held your finger up to him and promptly got out of bed running over to the closest mirror. You walked up to it and almost yelled again but thought against it. There was your consciousness currently looking at an unfamiliar body you had never seen before. You ran your hand through your hair and realised it was cut short, you checked out the body properly and saw the half shaved head.

“Gwen are you okay?” You completely forgot about the random man in your room, well not your room but in your presence. You stood up straight and turned around.

“Uh yes…Dad I am ay-okay! Why wouldn’t you think that?” You stood there, stiff as a board, the fakest smile you had ever mustered and he just looked at you.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” He said in a typical parent fashion, you smiled and nodded your head, he sighed and got up leaving you alone in the room. As soon as he closed the door you dropped the smile and ran around finding anything you could, opening any drawers, doors, closets, cupboards. Anything you could find to figure out where you were and who you were, you felt a bit bad trying not to go through anything private but also this was an unusual situation to be in and you believed the person would understand. You came up to a drum kit and out of your eye you saw one of the screws were slightly loose. You walked over too it and loosened it a bit more, you were shocked to see a uniform and a picture of this Gwen person and someone else. You put the photo back but looked at the costume next to it.

“All unit, requesting all units we have a break in down town.” You heard a radio going off and then heard Gwen’s dad yelling from the lounge room.

“Sorry honey gotta pop out for you know, ill be back later tonight okay! Just in case there’s $20 on the counter for dinner” Her rushed out of the room and closed the front door behind him, you poked your head around the corner and saw the $20 sitting there. You went back into your room and heard the same radio going off.

“All unit’s there are 5 armed robbers, confirmed 5 armed robbers proceed with caution” You knew that Gwen’s dad took his radio so you knew that Gwen must have had one stashed in her room, sure enough it was placed in a soft toy sitting on her shelf. You grabbed the costume you saw in the drum kit and saw the Spider Mask.

“I had a feeling this Gwen was a spider too” Just to triple check you jumped high with your fingers pointed upwards and your eyes slightly closed you waited for the ground to hit your feet but it never came. You opened your eyes and sure enough you were suspended in the air with your finger tips sticking to the roof.

“Cool! Okay it might be a little different from you back home but they will have roughly all the same abilities right? Like I should be able to do this” You put on Gwen’s suit (Respectfully) and placed the mask over your face.

You awkwardly made your way out of the apartment and went to shoot webs from your wrists when you realised nothing came out and you started plummeting to the ground. You let out a loud yell and managed to catch one of the fire escapes on your way down.

“Okay so she can’t swing? I find that hard to believe let me head back up” You walked back up the apartment sticking just fine no issues, when you climbed in you say the makeshift web shooters and grabbed them.

“Bro this would suck to worry about, like what if you run out of web” You put them on and they fit perfectly, you tried again first by shooting a web and it came out successfully. You hit the button a couple more times to see that it unhooked.

“Okay cool once to shoot twice to cut it, alright I got this” 2nd Attempt was much more successful however as you were flying through the air you weren’t use to this body, yours was a bit bulkier so you had more mass to move around with where as Gwen was not small just not as heavy as you so when you threw your legs to swing you over estimated the momentum and threw yourself a bit further than you were used to.

“That’s okay we’re learning! We got this, we need to go save those people” You headed towards the scene of the crime, you spotted the cars moving around and landed on the building next to them but on the roof so you couldn’t see them. You could see Gwen’s dad was barking orders organising everyone.

“Of course he’s the captain, wouldn’t be a Spider story without some sort of twist” You dropped down near them and walked right up to the officers.

“It’s alright guys I got it from here” You tried to walk pass with no issues however the entire police force turned around and raised their guns at you.

“Don’t move Spider-Woman” You held your hands up confused, but then remembered this isn’t your world this is another world where it sems that the cops did not like you co-operating. “Sorry Gwen” You said quietly to yourself and then leapt into the air swinging away from them and towards the bank robbers.

“Sorry Officers, didn’t mean to tease, ill be right back after I’ve done your job and saved everyone” Okay so they hate you and Gwen’s father clearly has no idea who she is so we have to keep it like that. Even if this is a dream you never know, it might not be.

You made your way into the bank crawling on the ceiling, you took in your surroundings and found the 5 bank robbers, you could see that they had taken some hostages too, women and children. As cliché as it is it seems like an elementary school decided to pick today to go on a field trip to the bank. You rolled your eyes at the irony but began crawling around a bit to see if you could get a better angle.

“Alright pack those bags and move them over here, the cops are going to escort us out of here and we’ll be home free” As you surveyed the area you tried to slowly pick off each of the guys that were below one by one, you would follow them, web them and knock them out before they could alert anyone else.

As you kept doing that you managed to get 4 out of 5 of them, the last one being the boss who was barking orders and standing right next to the hostages. “I know you’re there Spider-Woman” He said holding his gun up towards the ceiling, even though you had a BRIGHT WHITE costume on you still managed to use your stealth technique and hide well in the shadows. He couldn’t see you, you scurried closer to him know you had to do this quickly so no one would get hurt.

You shot a web onto his chest and pulled him towards ou, the shock of you being so bold threw him off and he dropped his gun, you knocked him out with your fist and then stuck him to the ceiling where all his other buddies were. You dropped down towards the hostages and ran over untying them.

“Thank you Spider-Woman” They all said as they were all untie and let go out of the building, you follow them out not so far behind and then began thwipping away towards Gwen’s apartment. You smiled from ear to ear on a successful mission and absolutely loved the feeling of being a Spider no matter what dimension it was in.

You landed in Gwen’s room quickly taking off her costume, putting it away and hiding all her spider related stuff. You laid back down on her bed, you let out a small sigh and held your hands in front of your face.

“Well Gwen whoever you are we smashed it today so yay! I wonder if theres anyone I need to tell or talk to about it?” You checked her phone and saw that she had a couple of photos of that same person that you saw in the drumkit but also a couple of photos of another boy who had glasses. You went through the contacts lists and her messages to see if there was anyone you spoke too regularly. The last message you saw was from a Peter Parker dated 1.5 years ago saying “I can’t wait to see you at prom” and then nothing else, there were calls from her dad and texts from her dad but apart from that nothing else for awhile.

“Gwen, don’t tell me” And sure enough you did the one thing you shouldn’t do and that’s look up your name on spoogle (Google in this dimension), you looked up Spider-Woman, you looked up Peter Parker and were met with a horrible event.

“Spider-Woman killed Peter Parker” You shook your head refusing to believe that knowing that the media had decided to pin the blame on that boys death on someone. Apart from Peter’s death there was lots of articles, rumours, typical Spider-Woman stuff on there. You turn off the phone and placed it back down on the bedside table.

“Gwen, I am so sorry” You laid in bed for a bit longer, your breathing started to get even and your eyes started to droop. You felt your body disappear and so did all your surroundings. Soon enough you felt yourself starting to grown conscious again, opening your eyes you got up looking around frantically.

“I’m back in my room” You said out loud looking at the colours, the posters you had laying around and your clothes thrown exactly how you liked them around your room.

“Oh so it was a dream” You got up ready to start your day in your body and you were slightly happy that it was over, you were a bit disappointed though in finding out it was all a dream, you wanted to see if you could help out that imaginary person you made up. You walked into your bathroom and got a proper look at your face. You yelled as loud as you could, looking over your face all you saw were bruises, scrapes, scratches and cuts.

“No what, last thing I remember was falling asleep in bed reading that stupid book” You frantically ran around your house looking for signs, you stopped and jumped on google looking up your Spider name only to see embarrassing videos of you failing completely to apprehend your Doc Ock.

“Could this day get any worse” You sighed holding your hands in your head, as you hid away from the world your Aunt entered the room folding her hands across her chest.

“Do you want to tell me whats going on” Your body shivered at the sound of your Aunt coming into the room, you looked towards her and could see she was mad at you.

“Ah it depends can you tell me what I did yesterday” Her anger dissipated as quickly as it came and she ran over to you.

“Who’s Gwen?” She asked crouching next to you, you held your head once again not knowing how to tell your Aunt this but you swallowed your fear and looked at her.

"I'm not too sure myself A/N all I know is that shes lonely and she needs help" You said looking at your Aunt again

“Look Y/N, I don’t know whats going on, but if this is real and she comes back what are we going to do” You shrugged your shoulders not wanting to think about this problem anymore. A small part of you was hoping you were right, hoping that you got to be her again because in your heart it was like you could hear hers calling out to you. That she needed help.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do but all I know is that we need to be prepared and plan for when it happens, but I am going to need your help” She nodded and hurried back to making you breakfast, you got up looking at your face once again wincing.

“Gwen, wherever you are, I hope your okay”

[nomoreusername]

Better

⚠️ Eating Disorders ⚠️

Pairing:Minho x gender neutral reader

Summary:When Minho realizes you're struggling with an eating disorder he encourages you to get help.

Let's get one thing straight. I don't have a problem. I simply noticed that I seem to have been slower whenever I go running lately. So I decided to fix the problem by putting myself on a strict diet. Thankfully, I know people in the Glade. I switch around who I give my dinner to, and nobody ever has a second thought about it.

From there things kind of escalated. I became obsessed with seeing myself grow thinner. Each time my clothes felt baggier there was this sense of pride. It got to the point where if something did fit me I'd feel shame. Then, there became the point where the clothes not fitting wasn't good enough for me. I would look at my body and see nothing but flaws. Suddenly, I was thankful we didn't own mirrors so I couldn't see any others.

Things somehow managed to get worse. What was once a simple diet so I could run faster seemed to be slowing me down. Except, it could be something else. What if I was actually gaining weight?

That's when another idea came to mind. Every time my time slowed I would punish myself by running extra hard. When everyone was in bed I'd be running laps around the Glade. Yesterday it was so bad I made myself stay up all night sprinting, doing pushups, and basically any accessible exercise.

I really wish I would have thought of how that might slow me down in the maze itself. I knew I was doing terrible because my partner today was Minho who was doing this like it was nothing. I used to run like this before what was supposed to be a diet took over my life.

"Uh, you okay?"He asked.

"Mhm,"I lied, my legs threatening to give out from under me.

"You're breathing pretty heavy. You look five seconds away from passing out."

"I'm fine,"I repeated as the stitch in my side grew. I really wanted water, but I wasn't doing good enough to earn any.

"Okay. Hey, we should probably stop for lunch,"He suggested, looking at his watch. I felt a thousand nerves run through my body. I don't know how many times I can use the 'I forgot it' excuse.

"Sure,"I pretended to agree, sitting against the wall. Then, I faked looking in my bag before putting it up.

"Are you not going to eat?"He asked skeptically.

"I forget it,"I shrugged, being way too used to lying for my comfort. I had to though. They wouldn't understand and would just blow it out of proportion.

"I thought you'd say that,"He sighed, before reaching for something. Before I could ask what he was doing he pulled out a bag. To be more specific it was my lunch bag with my name. He shook his head as he tossed the empty bag at me.

"You haven't asked for a lunch,"He accused. It was true, but I still shook my head no. "You give away your dinner,"He kept going. I stared at the ground wondering how to get out of this. "You didn't eat anything for breakfast,"He listed. "You've lost so much weight you have to wear a belt with every outfit,"He continued. "And you've been the one running around the Glade at night,"He finished. I couldn't make myself look at him as I kept staring at the ground. I could feel his eyes burning into my soul.

"Those are all true, aren't they?"He asked.

"It's sort of an exaggeration,"I said quietly.

"When's the last time you've eaten?"

"Last ni-"

"Nice try. Winston had an extra. Try again."

"Yesterd-"

"You left your lunch as you ran, and you left before breakfast. Try again. When's the last time you've eaten?"

"Three days ago,"I muttered, my voice almost a whisper.

"When?"He asked again, not having heard me the first time.

"Three days ago,"I admitted loud enough for him to hear. By now I closed my eyes because even the ground seemed to be judging me.

"Why?"He questioned. There were a lot of reasons, but I didn't say anything. I wasn't planning on doing so anytime soon.

"You're going to kill yourself if you keep on going. Not metaphorically. You are literally going to make yourself shut down. Even worse, you're a Runner. What happens if one day you pass out or don't make it out of these walls in time?"

"I'm a Runner,"I repeated.

"Yeah. That's what I said."

"I'm a Runner, and Runners are fast. They're strong. They don't get tired. I wasn't doing that so I tried a diet,"I confessed.

"A diet? Last time I checked a diet doesn't mean starving yourself. It's not staying up all night so you can collapse from exhaustion the next day. It's not punishing yourself because you don't think you're doing something good enough. If it was a diet you wouldn't have sat there and lied to me."

"I said I tried a diet. It got a little out of hand, and now I can't go back."

"What do you mean you can't go back?"

"I can't just go back to eating normally. I'll just be disgusted with myself. I don't want to feel gross when I look at myself."

"Y/N, you are going to die if you keep this up. Do you understand? You are killing yourself. If you pass out here someone may not be with you that day to get you out. Then, you're stuck here all night with the Greivers. The Greivers are going to kill you, and everyone's going to be asking 'Where's Y/N? Why isn't she back?' The doors are going to close, and it's over. Because if someone notices too late to run in here you are screwed. You're totally shucked. You're going to be dead or you're going to get stung, and we'll have to banish you, and I don't want to banish you. I don't want to have to push you through these doors, and I don't want to run across a pool of your blood,"He said in one breath.

I looked over and for only the second time in my life saw Minho cry. That had been when he pulled Newt out of the maze. Crying wasn't something he did, at least in front of others. Now he was sitting beside me with a tear streaked face, and I didn't know what to do.

"I don't know how to stop. I want to, but I don't know how. I've been doing this for so long that it seems impossible to go back to how I was,"I admitted, my own silent tears falling down my face. I hadn't realized I even wanted to until I said it out loud. I didn't even realize how much of a problem it was.

"I think we should head back for today. Drink up,"He directed.

"Alby's going to be pissed,"I pointed out.

"It's not safe for you to be here right now. I'm sure he'd understand."

"I don't want to tell Alby,"I mumbled.

"Then, don't, but you're not running anymore today. You need to eat and catch up on sleep."

"This is going to be hard to do,"I uttered. "It is, but you won't be doing it alone. I'm going to be right beside you,"He promised.

"Even if it takes a while?"

"Even if it takes forever. Come on. Are you ready to go?"He asked, holding his hand out. I looked at him before taking it.

"Yeah. I'm ready to get some help."

[deltaharrington]

“Don’t tell…”

Robin Buckley x Female!Reader

Warnings: angst (happy ending), make out

Summary: You and Robin have been dating for months, and keeping it a secret has been taking a toll on you.

“It’s 9:30. Robin, where are you?” You said to yourself, checking her watch.

“Is the person you’re waiting for coming? We’re about to close the kitchen” The waitress said and you shook your head before standing up, paying for the drinks you ordered.

You and your girlfriend of almost a year had planned a date about a week ago. You were going to eat at your favorite diner and go for a movie after.

That was supposed to happen 2 hours ago.

Robin had been very distant lately, and you knew it was due to the pressure of keeping your relationship a secret from her friends.

The drive back to your house was filled with tears and sad songs as she had never stood you up before.

Once you arrived home, you went straight to your room, not bothering to call Robin to tell her what she had done.

———

The next day you took the bus instead of riding with Robin and Steve, not wanting to see either one of them.

The ride was long, but you still made it to school.

When the bus stopped, you noticed Robin waiting where the drop off was. “Fuck” You mumbled to yourself before making your way off the bus, trying to pass Robin.

“Hey-“ She started but you walked past “Y/n!?” She questioned and followed you. “Why are you ignoring me?” She asked and you had heard enough.

“Did you have fun yesterday?” You said plainly and she looked confused but nodded.

“Yeah- me Vickie and S-“

“You were with Vickie?” You said, hurt that your girlfriend blew you off for her old crush.

“Yeah- what’s the issue?” She said, confused.

“Y-You fucking blew me off- blew our date off…” You trailed off, your eyes welling with tears “For fucking Vickie?” You questioned and her eyes widened.

“Y/n- shit I must have forgotten” Robin said and pulled you away from everyone else “I felt pressured to stay so Vickie wouldn’t question me-” She said.

“So you didn’t forget? You just didn’t want her to know we were together?” You said, more hurt than ever. “And you lied to me” You added and wiped some of your tears away.

“I can’t keep doing this Robin” You said and she looked confused.

“What? I’m sorry, Y/n…please” She pled and you shook your head.

“I don’t want to be your little secret” You said “We need a break” You added and turned to walk away, leaving Robin shocked.

———

That week went by slow. You didn’t have to face Robin unless it was at work, which you loathed. She gave you a lost look every time she caught your eyes.

You felt terrible, but you wanted to be open about your relationship it was hurting you more to keep it a secret.

That Thursday you and Robin had to work alone together since Steve was off.

You didn’t like that idea but maybe this could fix things between you two. You missed her, and of course you still loved her.

Halfway through your shift, when the store wasn’t busy, you got Robins attention.

“Hey, I’m sorry for being rude the other day” You said and she shook her head.

“No- no you weren’t rude” She said “You had every right to be angry, I shouldn’t have ditched you” She said and sighed.

“It might be too forward, but I wanted to ask you if we could try again?” She said “No hiding this time” She said and you looked up at her.

“I’d like that” You said and she made her way towards you, causing your face to flush.

“Glad to know I still have an effect on you” She said and leaned down to capture your lips in hers.

You let your lips move in sync, your fingers gently tugging at her hair as the two of you kissed.

Things almost went further but the bell at the door rang.

It was Vickie.

You tensed up a bit and Robin noticed.

Vickie tried to flirt with Robin and it made you uncomfortable. You thought you were going to need to step out.

That was until Robin spoke up.

“Vickie, this is Y/n” She said and you waved, gasping a bit when Robin wrapped her arm around your waist.

“My girlfriend.”

[wakandas-vibranium]

Wednesday Nights || Part Four

Pairing: pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: canon typical violence, time skip, angst, fluff

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: Sorry if this chapter seems a bit choppy. I am not a fan of time skips. Four chapters down, one more to go. Thank y'all for reading. Please like, comment, and share!

part one

part two

part three

part five

“Mom!” 

You awakened with a jolt, in a cold sweat in your new living quarters. You'd been suffering the same nightmare for 20 years. You had to witness your mother turn and attack your father, turning him. Then, before they could attack and turn you, they were both gunned down. 

That was 20 years ago and you still weren’t fully recovered. Your luck finally started to come through these last six months. 

You were walking alone in the winter cold. The cold air was stinging on your skin as you traveled down the icy river. 

Six people on horses surrounded you and grilled you so badly that you thought they were going to kill you. One of the men on the horses yanked his bandana down over his face and screamed your name so loudly that he startled the horses and a few of the others with him.

“Y/N!” Tommy called as he hopped down from his horse, running over to you. Even though his hair was longer and he'd grown a beard, you recognized Tommy right away.

The blood rushed to your face so quickly that you almost passed out. You thought he was dead. You assumed all three of them were all dead. You peered over Tommy's shoulder at the other riders as he drew you into a crushing hug. You didn't see Joel. Was Joel still alive? Was he even here with Tommy?

You rode back with Tommy on his horse, relieved to be off your feet. You'd been walking for weeks. You were in the dining hall eating with Tommy and his new wife, Maria. She was gorgeous and a little intimidating, but she made small talk. 

You couldn’t help but notice her body language and the way her lips would thin into a straight line and shoulders would tense at any mention of Joel. Tommy let you know as soon as possible that Sarah didn’t make it. You felt your heart drop to your stomach, but managed to keep it together. Before today, you already assumed she died. 

“It’s not like your brother is the best at making decisions,” Maria mumbled, fighting back an eye roll. 

Tommy was sharing with you some of the things he and Joel had to do in order to survive. You’d done similar things and a few worse things. You weren’t one to judge and you weren’t going to judge Tommy and Joel. They were the only family you had left. 

“And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” You snapped, no longer able to ignore the jabs Maria kept taking at Joel. 

And the fact that Tommy just sat there and let her insult his brother really pissed you off. Not so much Tommy, but Maria's uppity demeanor got under your skin. Who the hell did she think she was? Good for her if she never had to stoop so low to survive in this shitty post-apocalyptic world. Good for fuckin' her, you thought.

Tommy leaned forward and whispered something into his wife's ear. She cringed and glanced at you before apologizing. Tommy opted to change the subject and asked you what happened to you on breakout day. 

“My parents turned right in front of me. Before I could even comprehend what was happenin’ to ‘em they were shot dead.” 

You remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was awful. Your parents were taken from you too fast. It was unfair. 

“Then I hauled ass across Austin to try and get to you, Joel and Sarah. None of you were answering your phones so I figured it must have been happening around y’all too.” 

You had a severe panic attack once you realized that you were well and truly on your own. You were lost. You didn’t know what to do without any of them. How were you supposed to survive in a world when your favorite five people no longer existed? 

“Eventually I ended up working with a small group of nine people to help find a cure for whatever this was. I worked with doctors, nurses, scientists on this. We were desperate to find a cure. Tommy, I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, but we’ve exhausted every single possibility and nothing. There is no cure for this.”

“Wow.” Tommy said, sighing deeply at your newfound news. He had held out hope that there was a cure, but he wasn’t shocked that there wasn’t one. 

Enough about you. Tommy told you that Joel was alive and I just missed him by a few weeks. 

“Where is Joel?” 

“Ellie—the young girl he’s with is immune. Joel took her to a hospital — a firefly post so that they could use Ellie’s blood to make a cure.” Tommy explained cooly. 

“What?” You uttered lowly. You had your fair share of run-ins with the fireflies. Enough for a lifetime, and each instance damn near cost you your life. You had the awful pleasure of meeting their leader, Marlene. She had an impressive right hook, but your left was a lot meaner. 

The nine people you'd been traveling with for the past 20 years were all dead.  The majority were killed by clickers, while the others were killed by firefly bombs. You were furious and alone. On a mission to find Marlene, the leader of the fireflies.

You were determined to kill her where she stood. You'd had a few run-ins with Marlene, and they always ended bloody.

You didn't belong to FEDRA or the Fireflies. You were part of a small group of surgeons, biologists, nurses, and medical researchers. You were the only immunologist on the team. Shortly after the outbreak, all nine of you got together to try to find a cure. You clung to them after you assumed Joel, Sarah, and Tommy were no longer alive. 

After your parents were killed, you attempted to drive across town to Joel's house, but the highway was already shut down. You'd also overheard from an officer that Joel's neighborhood was a hot zone full of infected people. You were devastated. You had no family left within a matter of hours.

You last saw her and her band of fireflies in Atlanta about a year ago. She ordered her men to blow up a couple buildings where you and the rest of your group were hiding from FEDRA. You barely escaped with your life. Everyone else who was with you died. Blown to smithereens.

“There is no fuckin’ cure, Tommy.” 

“But Joel said—“

“—Well whoever told Joel and Ellie that is a goddamn liar. They’re gonna kill that poor girl and it’ll have been for nothin’.” 

Tommy chewed on his lip, pondering your information. He was probably even more worried about his brother now. As he should be. Joel wasn’t safe with the fireflies. No one was. 

“Is there any way to contact them?” You asked, still hopeful.

“They’ve been gone for a month, Y/N,” Tommy admitted, hesitancy heavy in his voice, “Joel said they’d come back once they were finished.” 

“Hopefully Joel realizes that Ellie will die and they’ll come back.” Maria reasoned, shooting you a small smile. 

“This isn’t good.” You exhaled sharply.

Anyway, that was five months ago. You were still with them in Jackson. It was a safe community that actually thrived plus you weren’t going to give up the opportunity to see Joel again. 

You were with Tommy in Jackson for almost six months now and still no word from Joel or his whereabouts. 

You were starting to get discouraged. 

You didn’t know it, but off in the far distance, Joel and Ellie were making their way back to Jackson.

You just needed to hold on just a little while longer.

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x Reader)

Words: 5525 (chapter 31)

Summary:

You and Matt met in the courtroom. Now, you may think that Matt was a knight in shining armour and defended you in the name of all United States laws, but that was not the case. Matt was totally destroying your client, and you wanted to tear him into pieces right then and right there, because with Murdock as your rival, your head is on the firm's plate with each case. Did Matt care? No, he only cared about bringing justice, he was a human-machine, driven by the need to bring righteousness no matter the cost. Or was he just that? What happens when you get involved in Fisk's business and Daredevil's lies against your will?

UPDATES: kind of back in my way, so... next week?

31. Grasping the Straws

8:28 in the morning, Matt was already standing outside his apartment building, his phone and wallet resting in the pocket of his jacket, his glasses in the pocket of his coat, and a heavy feeling in his chest; he was crouched on his walking stick and waited for you to come, yet his mind was somewhere else entirely. He was burning inside and wanted to find Fisk's accountant as soon as possible and question the hell out of him, but he still had to locate him, and do it tonight, as the devil. Lost in his thoughts, Matt snapped out of the trance when you slammed your car doors.

"Well, if this isn't Matt Murdock in the flesh." You come around and stand almost in front of Matt, but then decide to lean on the front of your car, crossing your legs.

"After last night's message, I wouldn't dare being somewhere else." Matt tries to joke, but you remain standing with a stone-cold face. "I'm sorry that I didn't answer the phone." He says, sensing your coldness.

"Where were you?" You ask him straight, without boring both of you with pointless questions that may or may not lead to this question.

"I..." Matt begins, trying to think of a believable lie, although now he admits that answering your call might have been a mistake.

"Don't lie. Please." You sigh, still feeling worn out after yesterday's events.

"I was at the gym." Matt steps closer to the car and rests his arms on the roof. 

"You left earlier just to go to the gym? What kind of gym works this late and especially when half of the city is burning?" You scoff slightly.

"The owner lets me in after the work hours."

"And the phone? We called you like a hundred times. Each."

"I left it at home. Sorry."

"Matt, we've been worried about you." You turn to look at him, noticing that he hasn't shaved in 4 days at least, which made him look more worn out than he probably was. "I drove Elena Cardenas to the hospital."

"What?" He finally turns to your direction, eyebrows knitted. "What happened?"

"The explosions... They hit her apartment. And the one next to her... They said that everyone died there." You take a moment to calm yourself again, "I drove her and Foggy...And Karen to the hospital. She's feeling better today, I think they will send her home soon." You drove here from the hospital, where you took your car and ran by reception to ask about Mrs Cardenas's well-being.

"Foggy?"

"He was hurt a bit but he's alright. They were at Elena's apartment when the explosions happened." You light up a cigarette and blow the first cloud of smoke. "Matt, why didn't you answer me yesterday? I was knocking at your door for at least half an hour."

"I wasn't home yet."

"But then I called you and you answered?"

"I returned."

"Matt, I was outside on this street when I called you." You say in disbelief.

Matt feels his cheeks getting hot when you catch him in his lies, yet he quickly has to think of another. "Maybe we passed each other. And actually I was in the bathroom downstairs. You probably called me when I returned to my flat."

"I don't believe you, you know. I just... Want to find the person that Tully is covering for." You stand up and get in your seat, cigarette rolling between your cherry-colored lips. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah, yeah." Matt gets in the car and silently puts a seatbelt on. "You're gonna smoke in the car?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No." Matt thinks for a moment. "Give it to me." 

You hand him the cigarette and turn on the ignition, curiously watching Matt inhale the smoke and rest his head against the window. No visible scratches or wounds, maybe he wasn't lying about being in the gym... "I'm visiting Tully before lunch. Do you want to go with me?" You didn't need Matt to go with you, but somehow felt that he would want to find the person who is responsible for all these deaths and explosions as well. 

He exhales slowly, feeling the nicotine cloud his mind and give his body a brief feeling of relief. "You think that he will tell anything?" Matt turns to the driver's side and inhales your perfume...Mixed with Wesley's. Jealously shoots up and he takes another puff. 

"Probably not. He wasn't very talkative with cops, so he probably won't say much to me either, yet the explosions... Someone will have to confront him about that. And he will have to answer." You start driving slowly, looking around the same street that you were freezing your ass in yesterday. 

"We could get him into the corner, but you know what they say about cornered animals..." Matt finally gives you the remaining half of the cigarette and you find yourself looking at the smoke between your fingers.

"They get the most aggressive." You finish his thought, mentally sighing. This could blow up in your face, especially if you won't find any proof. "Where's that gym of yours?" You suddenly ask, trying to keep the conversation going on a lighter note. You went to bed fuming with anger and worry, but sleep did its job - you were half as angry at Matt than you were yesterday. 

"Uh, couple of blocks away from me."

"So...what do you usually do there?"

Matt breaks into a smile. "I exercise."

"Really? For what?" You ask, turning to look at his stupid grin a couple of times. 

"Just... Overall." He shrugs, soft material of his coat rubs against the leather seat. "Keeping myself in shape, and healthy." 

Now his huge arms made perfect sense. "Let me guess. You do boxing mostly?" 

"Yeah, this included. How'd you know?" 

"Lucky guess." You chuckle, finally pulling in front of the office and turn off the ignition. The car fills with silence and you finish what was left of the cigarette. Matt says nothing, only gets out of the car when you do it, feeling the warm but tight grip of yours on his elbow and takes a moment to slyly slide his fingers on yours when he pulls his glasses out of his pocket. One of the perks of being blind with heightened senses was that he heard you smile after you felt his touch. 

As much as you both secretly wanted to keep walking together like this for the rest of your lives, you finally reached the office door and luckily, it was still empty. "I guess we're a little early." You say, unlocking doors and waiting for Matt to walk, but he waits for you to go in first. "Really?"

"Just go in." He smiles, and steals a chance to put his hand on your back.

"Shit," you look at Karen's desk and remember how yesterday you messed up all the papers, including the ones on your desk. "I'll have to tidy up before Karen comes in."

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing, just... Made a little mess yesterday."

"I'm sure it's nothing." Matt hangs his coat and makes his way towards the shared office.

"Wait." You stop him in his tracks, confused, "Just let me in, I'll sort my documents."

"Y/n, it's okay." He boldly steps inside, followed by your loud steps, "I can't see it anyway."

"I want to -" you don't finish your sentence when chatter fills the place upon Foggy and Karen's arrival.

"Good morning to whoever made this mess!" Foggy shouts, shuffling for a moment so loud that you don't hear Karen's muttering.

"Look who I finally found." You say when Foggy peeks inside the office, and then watch the men hug.

"Matty, I'm glad you're okay." Foggy lets Matt out of his steel grip, but then looks at him as if he was placed on a display, "are you okay?"

"I'm good, thanks. How are you? I heard you took a blow." Matt asks with concern, genuinely worried about his friend, but he also hears you pulling away into the farthest corner of the office when Karen steps inside and goes right away to hug him. A little too much for your liking. And a little too much for his liking as well...

"You know me, I can take a blow and walk it off." Foggy brags, but you notice him grimacing when he turns his body to the side.

"Matt, me and Foggy, we've been calling you all evening, where the hell where you?" Karen starts questioning Matt, still keeping her hand on his shoulder.

"I left my phone at home and went to the gym near my place, really, there's nothing you should worry about."

"Don't ever do that again, you scared the crap out of us. I don't even remember seeing y/n so stressed. Like ever." Foggy curiously watches your neck turn pinkish color, only because you had put on makeup on today, the blush wasn't visible on your face.

"Oh, really?" Matt smirks now, almost teasingly and you roll your eyes.

"We really need to get going somewhere, just let me tidy up the place." You emerge from the corner you were hiding in and walk past the group into the lobby. "Oh, and Karen, next time don't forget to write the addresses of our clients, in case we need to... Pay them a visit." You shout and quickly start sorting the papers. Foggy keeps his observation to himself, while Matt tries to stop himself from smirking in front of these two chatterboxes before they start suspecting anything.

***  "Good morning, Mr Tully." You fake smile at the middle aged chubby man with huge bags under his eyes when he slightly opens the door of his office.

"Do I know you?" He squints and looks at you, then at the neckline of your white shirt and only then at Matt.

"Oh, sorry, no, me and my..." You look at Matt and smile brightly again, "boyfriend, we would like to rent a place from you in Hell's Kitchen." Matt slightly squeezes your forearm in agreement and nods a couple of times.

"I'm not renting now, sorry folks." Tully goes in for closing the doors but you gently stop them with your hand.

"Oh, please, we just returned from our little trip and we saved some money. Of course, not enough to buy a place, but rent it for perhaps a good year." You continue to lie through your teeth, hoping to fool the idiot in front of you.

For a second you notice how his eyes glinted with greed, and now more relaxed, he leans with one hand on the threshold. "Where you folks were traveling?"

"Oh, just worked in Washington for a couple of months, for some important people," you whisper the last part as if it was a secret and then continue in a normal voice, "but now we are here and we're looking forward to starting a new life in this beautiful city."

Tully almost scoffs upon the last words but then widely opens the doors of his office. "Come in, I believe that I can offer you some good things. Come on, sit down, feel free to go pour some coffee, Miss...?"

"Grace." You answer and sit down on one of the chairs in front of Tully's dark oak table. Matt takes a seat and offers Tully a hand to shake.

"White." Matt also lies about his last name and gets comfortable.

"Ah, young couple looking for their nest. I wish I could go back to the times when me and my Mrs bought a place with our own money." Tully starts daydreaming and you clear your throat.

"Mr Tully, we wanna know what are your cheapest options? We're thinking about a wedding and possibly a baby soon.." You interlock your fingers with Matt's theatrically and he smiles as bright as you, "so we don't want to spend too much money on rent now."

"I understand, of course." He shuffles through a pile of papers, glancing at you from time to time, and then finally acknowledging Matt. "What are the glasses for, lad?"

"Oh, just, style. She told me they looked good on me." Matt turns to look at you and smiles.

"Woman clearly has a good taste if you came here. Okay, folks, right now I have some renovation things going on, so new apartments will probably be ready in couple of years, but don't worry, I have just a perfect place for you, lovebirds." He pushes the pictures of the flat and you notice the address written underneath it - one near Mrs Cardenas's apartment. "All the shops are close, place is... Quiet, of course, now the view might not be the best, but trust the process." He leans back in his chair and it creaks painfully.

"That is such a good place, what do you think, Matt?" You ask, already sure that the man in front of you is not aware of anything around him. "This is right next to Elena Cardenas's apartment, yeah. We could visit her when she returns from the hospital. But wait..." You look at Matt, almost shocked, "her place is wrecked, how can she return, right Mr Tully?" You look at Tully, visibly stressing and staring at the two of you.

"Sorry, I seem to not understand you." He squeezes out, with great struggle.

You blink slowly, taking your time. "Mr Tully, who will build new apartments in that record time?"

"What?"

"Who told you to kick those poor old people out? Have you even visited any of them?" 

"Mr Tully, how can you so easily rent out places when we both know that they're left in ruins?" Matt adds, intimidatingly leaning forward.

"Who are you?"

"We're Mrs Cardenas's lawyers." Matt says with a serious expression, already missing the feeling of your fingers resting between his. "Did you visit her? Did you apologize? Did you beg her not to file a lawsuit against you and whoever's ass you're kissing right now?"

"Matt, that's a little harsh. He's just a victim here. Who will get a nice sum from the dead people of Hell's Kitchen. How much are they paying for your services of the grim reaper?" You continue, slowly stroking your chin in thought. 

Tully finally starts understanding what was really happening and his eyes become wider with every second. "You're her lawyers?"

"Nelson and Murdock, Mr Tully." You extend your hand on purpose, watching his reaction, when he says nothing, you continue, "y/n y/l/n, associate in Mrs Cardenas's case against you."

He looks at you with visible disgust but doesn't touch your hand. "A case already? First, I can't get rid of those goddamn cops lurking around and questioning me on every chance they get and now you vampires?" He scoffs to himself now, "you're those lawyers that poor Cardenas ran to, right? What did you prove here?" He motions to the documents of the flat lying in front of you.

"That you're a liar. We can sue you for providing false information of the real estate that you control to your clients. I mean, one day after those explosions, which I would call, intentional, and you're already renting out places like it's a Monopoly game?"

"Intentional? You're accusing me now, Miss whatever even your name was?" He stands up abruptly and slams his hands on the table, and you slightly jump in your seat. Matt gets alarmed immediately but keeps calm just as he promised.

"It's y/l/n, and you better remember it because you're gonna hear it a lot in the courtroom." You rise from your seat too, not afraid to look him in the eyes.

"You have no proof, I do everything by rules, you can't do anything about our business!"

"Oh, Mr Tully, our proof is a living person, fallen under your greedy fist."

"You know nothing, you bloodsuckers." He turns to look at you, sweat already running down his forehead, "you think you can come here to my office and fool me? You think you know how business is done? You shouldn't even be here. Women belong in kitchens, not the fucking courtrooms where they continue talking the same shit that they talk at home!" Tully shouts so loud that a vein on his neck pops out visibly.

Anger rises in your veins and you feel your lips twitching between a menacing grin and an angered grimace. Matt stands up as well, ready to defend you at any moment, but keeping his promise. "If men like you and whoever you..r owner is ruled the world, it would already be destroyed. Get ready to pay for Mrs Cardenas and all the others who are in hospital. See you in court, Mr Tully." You stand up and calmly walk out of the office, holding Matt's elbow in a steel grip. Just as you close the doors, you hear crashing. "He smashed that white vase from his table." You state to Matt, who stops you at the end of the staircase.

"That was so crazy. Stupid."

"But it worked." You smile triumphantly, "'our business'? He's clearly just a puppet." 

"Yeah, but was that," Matt slighly shakes his hands in the air, "really necesary?" 

"If I came here as a lawyer, I wouldn't have made it past the front door." You chuckle, but there still lies uneasiness on your heart. 

"See you in court? Elena hasn't made up her mind about the lawsuit." 

"Well, I just love saying that, okay? Let me enjoy the moment before I get kicked back into the kitchen." You turn that to a joke, yet Matt knows that there's something lying underneath it.

"Hey, that was so unnecessay. I would've loved kicking his ass." Matt still argues, not letting your elbow out of his grip for one second, before you cross the street and get in your car again.

"I can already do this by myself, but thanks for the heads up, Murdock." You close the doors and grab the lighter from the dashboard.

"What do you mean by 'already'?" Matt gets comfortable in the seat and turns his whole body towards you.

"I mean that as a woman, you can either be controlled by men your whole life and be dependent from them and their mercy or you can finally stand up for yourself and get out of that stereotypical kitchen that they want to keep us in and kick their asses." You light up the cigarette and exhale loudly, resting your head on the headrest, facing Matt. "I doubt that you'd understand exactly what I mean but.. Yeah."

"Has this happened before?" Matt asks, sour expression on his face.

"More than you could imagine. Of course this became a rare occasion when I got my law degree, but..." You fall silent, not ready to talk about your life before college.

"But what?"

"Nothing. Just forget about it."

"y/n..."

"No, really. We have to focus on Elena now. You ready to visit her? My Spanish knowledge is very limited."

Matt nods and turns away from you, while you drive to the hospital, saving half of your cigarette for later.

*** 

"What did she tell you when I was out to get coffee?" You ask Matt while you two stand in front of the elevator, waiting with two other doctors for it to arrive. 

He smiles before answering, "oh, I don't really remember."

"Don't think I'm an idiot, you were smirking exactly like this before."

"Okay, okay, she said that you're a very beautiful young woman." He falls silent for a moment, then continues, "and that I'm a very handsome man and..."

"And what?" You get into the elevator and stand with Matt in the farthest corner, now whispering.

"And that we look like we suit each other." He finishes, face almost red because he knows that all the doctors inside the elevator heard it. He didn't plan on telling you any of this, but knew that eventually you'd ask Elena yourself which would make this even more awkward.

"Oh." You manage to say and get embarassed as well.

Ride back to the office is silent and you turn on the radio, which plays the last decade hits and try not to think too much of Mrs Cardenas's words. You find Foggy and Karen sitting in the lobby, sipping on coffee and you notice the newspaper's headline - "The Devil of Hell's Kitchen".

"Hey, where'd you get that?" You ask, hanging your coat and taking your briefcase towards Karen's desk.

"This? Karen found one somewhere."

"I stopped by the stands on our way back but they were all sold out. Anything good?"

Foggy briefly shows you the first pate with a blurry photo of the devil of Hell's Kitchen and chuckles, "Devil, my shapely Irish ass. Guy's a coward. What I wouldn't give for the chance to rip that corny mask off and..."

"And what?" Karen puts her cup down and steals a glance at Matt still stuck by the hanger.

"Punch him in the face with my fisticuffs." Foggy imitates a boxer and almost drops the newspaper on the ground.

"I don't know, he seems, uh pretty fisticuffy." Karen sighs and you slightly squint at her.

"Please tell me I don't detect a hint of admiration for that terrorist."

"This is just all speculation. Nobody knows if he's a terrorist or what." Karen tries to fight Foggy's words but the pink cheeks give her away easily.

"You're absolutely right. Terrorists have causes. They claim responsibility. Al-Qaeda wanted the world to know exactly what kind of assholes they were. This guy? Not a peep. All terror without the "-ist. " You know what they call that? Nut job."

You chuckle a bit and slump in the chair, curiously watching Matt get behind Karen near the window.

"Hmm, maybe." Karen hums and Foggy groans loudly, then winces, "How's your side?"

"Downgraded to agony." Foggy drops the paper on the table and closes his eyes for a second.

"All right, what do you think, Matt? Y/n?" Karen looks for help but the look on your face tells her more than enough.

"I think Foggy'll be pitching for the Mets by mid-season." Matt jokes, trying to lift up the spirits in the office.

"I'm being serious." Karen turns to face him, blonde hair falling on her shoulders and you don't see the expression on her face.

Matt chuckles, setting his tie loose. "So am I. Have you seen their bullpen?"

"Come on, you telling me this dickhead blowing up our backyard doesn't piss you off?" Foggy returns to the debate, already feeling better than he was before.

"What happened to Hell's Kitchen, to you and to Elena, and to all the people that were hurt yeah, it pisses me off. But this man, whoever he is, whatever his motive, he shouldn't be tried and convicted in the press. We're lawyers, we know that's not how it's supposed to work." Matt says and you look at him almost stunned.

"I'm sorry," you finally get into the talk, crossing your legs on the chair, "this guy breaks into a law firm and then gets into a fight with Benowitz, only for me to almost get killed and you're saying that press is wrong for portraying him as a vigilante that he is?"

Matt bites his tongue. "Well, was he there to kill you?"

"I don't know, didn't really have time to ask a guy in a mask what he was doing in a law firm after work hours." You scoff loudly, shooting lightnings with your eyes at Matt.

Karen waits for Matt to say something back but as he continues to be silent, she asks her questions, "So, uh, hypothetically, if this guy got caught needed counsel, Nelson and Murdock would offer to defend him?"

"Hell no." Foggy is the first one to express his opinion.

"I'd rather see him rot in a jail cell." You say at the same time as Matt says, "It would be his right."

Foggy continues to side with you, "What about my right to punch him in the melon? They pulled a piece of glass out of my side. Elena needed 12 stitches and she's still recovering in the hospital. And you want to Perry Mason the guy responsible?"

Matt puts his hands on his sides, "I wanna make sure the right person pays for what happened."

"The whole thing's moot. After shooting those cops, police are probably looking to settle things the old-fashioned way if they catch up to him." Foggy states.

"Yeah, it's more than likely." Matt sighs under his breath and you close your eyes as they begin to sting from the dryness.

"Just a thought, but we may wanna go a bit peppier at the end of the day." Karen chuckles, "Leave on a note slightly higher than deeply depressing."

"She's right. You're bringing us down, Murdock." You bite, watching Matt's expression change to a happier one.

"Me?" He laughs lightly, eyebrows raised above the glasses. 

Foggy returns with a baseball bat and starts swinging at the imaginary ball. "High note! Softball!"

"I'm not even gonna ask why you have this in your office." You chuckle lowly.

"When are we getting a company team together?"

"We have four employees." Karen states the obvious and you all break into smiles.

"At least three of them aren't blind." Matt laughs, "If Miss y/l/n wouldn't mind, we could go 2v2."

"Oh, you mean, I would be carrying the whole team on my shoulders?" You roll your eyes playfully and Foggy nudges Karen.

"Karen, come on. Batting practice, you and me, Chelsea Piers. What do you say? We can beat them."

"Um, I..." Karen stumbles with words, something totally different on her mind.

"Or not. Totally cool." Foggy assures her and swings the bat one more time.

"No, no, I would, I would. It's just that I, um I have this, uh, thing." Karen smiles awkwardly, looking between you and Foggy.

"Go, do that thing. Not a problem." Foggy urges her and you put your head on your arm for extra support and secretly watch Matt with half closed eyes.

"Okay, so, um see you tomorrow." Karen quickly grabs her purse and hurries out, coat in her hands.

"We'll be here, ready to high note and stuff." Foggy shouts after her, but no one responds.

"Smooth." Matt comments on Foggy's swing and imitating sound of a flying ball.

"Admittedly, I'm a work in progress. Did you know she has mace on her keychain?" Foggy comments, then turns to look at you, "Do you have one?" 

"No, I have my fisticuffs ready at all times." You pull your hands into fists and imitate punching someone in the stomach. Matt breaks into a laughter and Foggy looks quite disappointed about the teamup against him.

"Is that a bad thing? Should we buy one for y/n too?" 

"You ever worry about her? Worry, like, something she's not telling us?" Foggy starts throwing the ball at a wall in front of you, catching it mid-air.

"Everyone has secrets, Foggy." Matt clears his throat and takes a seat that was previously occupied by Karen. "Y/n?"

"What?" You open your eyes and then remember Matt's question, "No, I don't need a mace. Worst case scenario, I can pull out a lug wrench from my car." You answer almost sleepily.

"Right, I forgot that you father was a cop, you'd get out of any situation easily." Foggy says, then turns to Matt, "I don't have secrets. I'd like some. Your kind like with Hottie McBurner-Phone. I mean, I assume she's hot. Is she hot?"

"Oh... How would I know?" Matt groans, and you feel more awake than you were this whole day. A burner phone? What is he hiding?

"This again. You always know. I mean, you guys getting serious? Should I dust off the tux I'll need to rent?"

Matt laughs, feeling your eyes burn holes in his head,  "No, uh it didn't work out."

"Oh. I'm... I'm sorry, man." Foggy catches the ball one last time and turns back to look at Matt.

"Yeah, me too." Matt mutters with zero regret in his voice, "Hey, look, I'm gonna order in tonight, get a jump on this tenement case."

"You want me to stay?" Foggy asks, disappearing in his office again.

"No, I'll be all right. Thanks, buddy." Matt says loudly.

"It's okay. I can stay a bit longer." You suggest.

"Okay. See you in the morning, guys. Hey, Matt... her loss, man. Seriously." Foggy also grabs his coat and closes the door.

Matt sighs loudly, still feeling your eyes on him. "You should go home too."

"Who's gonna drive you home then?" You ask, watching how Matt goes around the table and stops in front of the shared office, right next to where you were sitting.

"I'll call a cab. Just wanted to look over something in Elena's case." 

"She's still deciding about the lawsuit, Matt, there's nothing we can look into right now." You look at him standing tall on your left, and he gently puts a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. The warmth from his heavy hand makes you shiver and you silently inhale deeply.

"I just want to be prepared in case she will file the lawsuit. Seriously, go home." Matt smiles, feeling the goosebumps under the material of your blouse.

"Just don't stay up too late, we need fresh minds for tomorrow." You stand up and Matt's hand falls from your shoulder, accidentally brushing on your bra. You say nothing, but this little incident will surely stay on your mind this whole evening.

"Goodnight, y/n." Matt says as you go past him to put on your coat.

"Yeah, night, Matt." You say and clear your throat along the way, before disappearing into the dark corridor of the building. 

Matt smiles to himself and goes to sit in his chair, taking a sheet printed with Braille, skillfully brushing his fingers on it - Owlsley, Leland: Financial Advisor at the prestigious firm of Silver & Brent.

*** 

You spend the evening with Wesley, watching the crappy game shows on TV on your sofa. Both of you were focused on the screen, these kind of shows knew how to keep your eyes fixated on them. James has been slowly but rhythmically rubbing your shoulders, yet his touch couldn't compare to Matt's. Just as you started to drift away into the slumber, Wesley's phone rang beside him.

"Yes?" He says in a hushed tone, glancing at you, still asleep, or so he thought. "What? When?" You wish you could her what was being say on the other side of the phone, but the next words make your heart drop. "The mask? Fucking idiot." Wesley ends the call abruptly but doesn't leave - just bents down to place a kiss on your temple and continues to rub your bare shoulders.

***

Leland Owsley gets inside his expensive car, arguing with someone on the phone. "The funds have been reallocated as requested. All the arrangements made per your agreement with the guy we're not supposed to blah blah blah. Business may continue?"

Matt lurks in the shadows and between the pillars of the parking lot, getting closer and closer to Owsley's car.

"The numbers are like tea leaves. Nobody reads them like I can. You're laying out major reserves to clear the docks to make sure the police don't come within 10 blocks." Owsley listens to the man on the phone, then clears his throat, "Yeah. What happened to the Russians We need to be careful, all of us. I look out for you, you look out for me. All I'm saying. Each man must stand for himself or fall with the unworthy." He argues more then puts down his phone. "Prick."

Suddenly, car door rips open with strength and Owsley almost lets out a shriek, seeing the man in the mask, "Oh, God! What do you want? My wallet?"

"You know what I want. Tell me about the man you work for." Matt pulls Owsley out of his car with little force.

The man exhales as if he was running, "I work for Silver & Brent."

"I'm gonna ask you again.Think about your answer. Who do you work for?" Matt's rough voice slightly disturbs Leland.

"I told you, I work for Silver and..."

"You work for Wilson Fisk moving his money around. Which means you have records, proof of who..." Matt doesn't finish his sentence as he gets distracted by the distant tapping of the cane and Owsley sees a chance to tase Matt right into the chest and he falls flat on the ground.

"Asshole." Owsley scoffs and quickly drives away, leaving Matt rolling on the ground like a dying worm.

The cane tapping gets closer and closer, before it slightly hits Matt in the leg, "You just gonna lie there all night?"

Matt groans through gritted teeth and mutters, "Stick."

[thelostsoliloquy]

I can't believe that I am sat here, writing about this.

On 16th October 2024, the death of Liam Payne was announced. I type this listening to If I Could Fly. At first I didn't believe the news. I opened Instagram and saw it being reported by the Hollywood Reporter, I had to double check that it wasn't a parody account. I head to Twitter and at that moment my younger brother calls me to find out whether the news is true or not. It turned out to be true.

I have been in a state of shock for the last two days. How do I reconcile this? I didn't think that I would live to see this day. The day when a member of One Direction would pass away, if anything I didn't think that it would happen until I was late in life, perhaps telling my own grandchildren of One Direction.

It's so, so hard and difficult because I don't think that I have the words to describe how I am feeling. It is affecting me in ways in which i never could have foreseen. At first I thought I would be ok, though since yesterday evening, something changed. A sadness came over me overtaking the disbelief, the realisation that this is indeed true.

I grew up with Liam and One Direction. I've been following them from the start. i've watched them grow up and i've been growing up alongside them. it is the first time in my life that i am experiencing the death of someone in my own generation who had an impact and influence on my life. Heck, they changed my life. A massive part of who i am is them, Liam. I remember being in school reading the magazines, tweets and any information that I could get my hands on about the boys. Listening to their music, watching their music videos, interviews and laughing at their jokes with my own friends. It was the best of times. I didn't have a care in the world and the most fun I ever had, One Direction were part of that. Sitting in class and pretending that the boys were with us, imagining what it would be like to meet them, what we would say to them, waiting outside their hotels for hours, chasing their cars and tour busses, all for a smile, a wave, any sort of interaction. I don't know what it was, why I craved to just be noticed by them in any way. They all seemed larger than life, like these untouchable figures, messiah like.

i don't know how much sense i am even making because i am just typing this all out as I think, in hopes that i can somehow make sense of it all and how i'm feeling. I think what it is is nostalgia and longing. I look back to my teenager years and i feel like those were the last times that i was truly happy and carefree. I had so much life in me and so much faith looking ahead to the future and all the possibilities, and One Direction played a huge part of that. They sound tracked those years of my life whether i was doing my homework, walking to college, sitting on the bus, revising, walking to university, they were always there in the background.

One Direction made growing up easier. They made me feel seen, heard and understood. A little less alone. When I would be down or sad, I would listen to them. They were a huge defining part of my youth straight into my adulthood. To this day. In recent years i look back to lockdown in 2020. I remember being in Abu Dhabi and feeling so lost, scared, alone. I felt as though i had no one. Certainly wasn't the first time. And I remember I turned to One Direction. Listening to their albums, watching all their videos, the one direction journey on X factor on youtube, This Is Us, Where We Are stadium concert in Italy, their interviews and video diaries. Almost 10 years on, and they gave me that comfort and protection and made me feel happy, they gave me something which no one in my life was able to. They got me through yet again, one of the hardest times in my life so far and I know they will continue to do going forward.

I'm getting emotional writing this because i'm realising just how much they actually meant to me. I feel like I alway knew but now im truly able to understand the gravity of their impact. This is where the connection is built and what makes Liam's death so devastating for me. I know people laugh and make a joke of it, how i'm grieving a person that i never met and i don't even know. But he's always been a part of my life in a unique way, this is the fan connection after all. And now my world feels different and it will never be the same. I think i always had that hope in me that one day One Direction would reunite, i truly believed it would happen and now with this news, I know it never will. And just will not be the same watching their videos and listening to their music, the lives of every person who ever loved the boys and One Direction is forever changed.

I'm realising that what i experienced and lived in my youth truly was special and magical and will never happen again but its such a fundamental and core part of me that will always remain. Maybe what makes me sad is realising that those were the happiest and best days of my life and nothing in the future will ever match to that time period in my life. The way my friends and i would bond and laugh over One Direction was something else. And my family thinking i am crazy.

And well Liam... He was the catalyst for me. Even before Justin Bieber, the fan girl in me came alive the day he auditioned for X Factor when he was 14 , i still remember wanting him to go through but he didn't and then he came back and i supported him once again. He was my first favourite member of One Direction, even before Harry. It was he who I loved the most during the X Factor days and what made me a fan of One Direction and even during the first two albums. And now this is the first time where i am witnessing the death of an artist whom i had loved, love.

I am devastated and feel like from henceforth my life will be different. I can never listen to their music in the same way. What happened to Liam is a Shakespearean tragedy. I think in the days and weeks and probably even months to come, i will still process this. I'm just really struggling in a way in which i thought i wouldn't. But yeah, Liam, this band they raised me. There's a connection there for life. And I can't believe i am now having to say good bye.

friday 18 October 2024

[runonthewater]

Sometimes, on your fourth day on the road, you get so sick of the way the one pair of shorts you packed fit that when after a full day of driving, you go to the cheapest clothing store in Fort Nelson, buy a pair of patterened rayon jeans on clearance, and hack them off at the knees with the dull kitchen scissors that live in the van. Although these makeshift shorts do not necessarily fit you better than the ones you packed, they at least fit you differently.

Four days on the road. Temporally, this puts me halfway through the eight-day itinerary. At just over 1000 miles from Seattle (as the Google maps, not counting some side trips and the occasional back-tracking for a good view), and a little under 1000 from Tok, Fort Nelson puts me about halfway through the drive geographically, as well.

I started the morning in Dawson Creek, at Mile 0 of the Alaska Highway. (I met a nice Swiss couple at the mile marker who were, like me, getting their photo op in. They'd driven from Halifax and were planning to go all the way up the Dalton Highway! Because I am the kind of nerd that I am, as soon as I got back in the car, I turned on "The Last of Barret's Privateers" and belted about being a broken man on a Halifax pier in their honor.) Immediately outside Dawson Creek there was a lot of truck traffic, and I spent quite a while tailgating and being tailgated as steep grades and a lack of passing lanes kept us all stuck together.

By the time I reached my first rest stop in Wonowon, though, the driving had changed noticeably. In the first three days I spent a decent amount of time keeping an eye on my mirrors for people in smaller cars that would want to pass me. Once I was truly on the highway, the number of passing vehicles dwindled significantly. And the landscape spread out soon enough into rolling evergreen forests, bisected by the road. It's August, so fireweed dusts the cleared firebreaks on either side of the highway in a Barbie pink that looks unreal and is almost impossible to capture on my phone's camera. The deciduous trees flash the pale undersides of their leaves at the northbound traveler, revealing how windy it is.

This is what I think of when I think of the Highway: these long, straight stretches with big sky and no one around. The kind of wildlife I associate with the north is starting to appear, too. I saw a black bear galumph across the road around 4PM, and a little further on I saw a doe nursing a faun beside the road. Both obviously moved too fast for me to get pictures. The blackbirds scavenging on the highway are also clearly ravens, now: they're too fucking big to be crows. The other day I saw a black bird so big that I couldn't not spot it, despite the shade of the trees. Ravens are big.

The halfway point means I've been out here long enough to get a couple routines down. It also means I've been out here long enough to decide on problems -- e.g. the aforementioned shorts, the fit of which I am sick, or the buurned-on bits of fries I reheated in a pan without any oil the other nnight. But overall, as I told a local while I filled up today, the van treats me well.

Halfway also means I start thinking about the end of the trip. To be honest, today I thought about stopping earlier than Fort Nelson, partly because I was much more tired from yesterday's drive than expected, and partly because I don't want to rush. The lack of services between Dawson Creek and Fort Nelson ended up deciding me and I pushed on, but the possibility of extending the time on the road, letting the bubble of travel get just a little bigger, is tempting.

On the other hand, I miss my dog. And paying less than $150 per gas tank refill. Getting to Alaska, and then home, will be nice. When I get there.

A few less highfaluting thoughts (I blame Nabokov for the style): tonight I not only got to use the levelers to even out one side of the van for the night, I'm swatting skeeters like mad. The bugs are most definitely getting worse as I go north. The windshield is a war zone, and when I stopped earlier I found the van SURROUNDED by wasps and flies. Are they feasting on their fallen brethren? will they please leave me alone???

[imagineandimagine]

Satisfy your taste, chapter 3

Pairing: Alfie Solomons x You

Warnings: Slightly sexual content. 

You decided to visit Alfie the next day. It was late in the evening and there you were, in a pretty dress, standing in front of the distillery gate, as cute as a button with a cake in your arms. You stood out like a sore thumb among the rough looking men that passed you wondering what the heck you were doing there at this time of night. You were starting to wonder that yourself.

“Are you lost, little lady?” a bulky looking man with a ponytail approached you.

Before you could answer a tall thin man in a striped shirt looked you up and down and added. “She doesn’t look like a-”

The other man elbowed the tall man before he could finish.

“Mr Alfie Solomons is expecting me.” You showed the two men the card that Alfie had given you.

The two men exchanged looks, “Right this way M’lady” the man with the ponytail said with a dramatic bow and the two men sniggered before they led you through the distillery.

-

The man with the ponytail knocked on the door and made sure that Alfie wasn’t busy before he opened the door to his office.

The day before, you avoided the topic of kissing Alfie but it was starting to weigh on your mind more and more. You tried to convince yourself that if he was messing with you, you were going to mess with him too, but the truth was, every time you thought of that kiss it would send shivers down your spine. Should you say something today? Should you mention it at all? No. You were determined to act as unaffected by what happened at the club as possible. Which was going to be hard because when you entered Alfie’s office he looked good. Real good. Like an entire hot meal. He was sitting at his desk, writing something. His hair was messy but in nonchalant sexy way. His white shirt was open, revealing his tattooed chest and his sleeves where rolled up exposing his muscular arms. Ooooof! You’d run your tongue along that exposed chest of his any day. Wait. This wasn’t the plan! You hadn’t even spoken to the man yet and you were already fantasizing about him. Control yourself woman!

Alfie looked up from his work, for a split second he looked confused but his expression quickly changed when he realized it was you, “Miss y/n! Come in! Come in!” he said gesturing for you to sit down.

You sat down in one of the chairs, “I brought cake as a thank you for yesterday,” you said placing the cake on his desk.

Alfie grabbed the box, “Oh, thank you, that’s lovely.” He opened the lid, “It’s very pink.” he added.

You felt a bit silly, “It’s strawberry.”

He casually stuck three fingers in the cake, plucked a piece out and put it in his mouth, “It’s good. Did you make it?” he asked licking the icing from his fingers.

You tried to tear your eyes away from his tongue, “No but I can make one myself next time.”

“Next time?” he asked with a smile.

Well that was FUCKIN AWKWARD! Why was he staring at you like that while he was licking his fingers?? Being at a loss for words you decided to get straight to the point, “You said something about a whiskey tasting?”

Alfie studied you for a moment, “Right. Of course! I just didn’t expect you at such a late hour. Is Tommy going to be joining us?”

Was that why he was so confused about your presence? Of course Tommy should be here. What were you thinking? This involved your business, or at least that’s what you were telling yourself. Then you noticed small splotches of blood on Alfie’s shirt, he tried to discreetly conceal the bloodstains by adjusting his shirt. You probably shouldn’t have seen that.

You looked to the side not wanting to make eye contact when you answered ”No. Tommy won’t be joining us today,” You felt a bit embarrassed. What will Alfie think you came here for then?

Alfie smirked, “I see…”Alfie walked over to the door and when he opened it, the two men from before almost fell inside, clearly eavesdropping.

They both looked petrified, “Sorry, Sir…”one of them mumbled as he got up.

The man with the ponytail pointed his finger towards his companion “It’s all his fault! I Told him not to eavesdrop but he wouldn’t listen!”

“You bastard!” the tall man shot back.

It looked like the two men were about to fight each other but Alfie raised his hand for them to stop, “Just bring me one of the blue caskets.”

-

The men returned a moment later and handed Alfie a big blue crate. Before the two men left, Alfie whispered something to them, they both looked horrified as they scurried away apologizing “Of course, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”

Alfie closed the door and placed the crate on his desk next to the cake. “Before we begin, I have a proposition for you.” He walked over behind his desk and took something out of the drawer, “Since we are business partners, I’d like to ask you would like to join me to a soiree. I think we should get to know each other better. Don’t you think?”

Your heart skipped a beat. It had been so long since you got to dress up, “Yes, I think that would be nice. It’ll be my pleasure to accompany you to this event.” You said calmly, trying to conceal how excited the idea actually made you.

Alfie leaned forward and handed you an invitation, “I’m glad you agree and the pleasure will be all mine.” He said smiling at you “Perhaps you could keep this particular outing to yourself…”

You understood what he meant, “I think that will be for the best.” After all, your ‘tell Tommy everything’ rule only applied to what happens at the club.

“Well then.” Alfie opened the blue crate to reveal several bottles of whiskey. “Lady’s choice.” He said as he tapped on the bottles.

-

You tried taking small sips but after trying several different variations of whiskey you could already feel that you were getting drunk.

“You’re wasting a lot of whiskey.” Alfie said as he looked at all the glasses of whiskey he poured for you that you hadn’t finished.

The whiskey was like a little devil on your shoulder urging you to be more bold in your actions , “Then perhaps I should drink from your glass.” You said grabbing the whiskey out of his hand and taking a sip. “This one is better than the last one. It’s a lot sweeter. I like it.” You handed the glass back to him and your realized that you left a smudge of your lipstick on it.

Alfie turned the glass over in his hand ��Is that right?” he said right before he placed his lips on the spot where the lipstick was and took a swig.

The bastard knew exactly what he was doing and unfortunately it was working, you wanted jump on that desk and kiss him right then and there.

“Another one?” Alfie asked holding up a bottle.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” you giggled.

“I would never,” Alfie replied with a hint of mischief in his eye as he poured you another glass.

If only Alfie knew the mental turmoil that he inflicted upon you every time he looked at you like that. It was such sweet torture, you could feel the heat rising within you, since the moment you entered his office he hadn’t even attempted to make any physical contact with you, that stupid desk might as well have been a wall that separated you from one another. He had already teased you with that kiss at the club, so if you wanted to move forward with your flirtation you’d have to give him something in return.

You stood up, grabbed a glass and walked over to him on his side of the desk. Standing over him you stared intently at him.

He turned in his chair to face you, smirking, like he was challenging you to continue whatever you were planning and he was looking forward to it.

You wanted to be audacious and sit on his lap but he had his legs spread wide apart. Maybe he guessed what you wanted to do and he was intentionally making it difficult for you? Whatever you were going to do, you had to do it quick because at that point you were just staring at his crotch for far too long. There was no other option, you turned around and you sat on the bit of chair between his legs, as you leaned back against his chest. “Maybe we can try it this way,” you said as you dipped two fingers in the whiskey and you slowly ran them along his lip, leaving a wet trail on his mouth.

Alfie leisurely ran his tongue along his lower lip maintaining eye contact with you the entire time. You glanced at his Adams apple as he swallowed, “My turn” he said as he dipped his fingers the same way you did. He intended to do the same to you but you caught him by the wrist and you put his entire finger in your mouth and you started to suck the whiskey off his finger while you looked up at him over your shoulder.

Alfie’s pupils dilated as he watched you with a burning desire, his entire body seemed to tense up and you felt something growing against your lower back.

You took his finger out of your mouth with a pop as you continued to look at one another with hunger in your eyes. You dipped your fingers in another glass and ran them over his lips again. Before he could do anything, you leaned in and you ran the tip of your tongue over his lower lip.

You could feel every muscle on him strain as he dug his fingernails into the armrests, you knew that he wanted to touch you and it took every ounce of his willpower not to.

You weren’t giving up so easily though, you pressed yourself into him even more and you started to slightly grind your ass against him from time to time, as if by accident, “It’s really warm in here,” you teased as you undid a few of your buttons, giving him a peek at your cleavage.

“What are you doing,” he breathed.

“What do you mean? I’m just making myself comfortable,” you replied.

Alfie squirmed and twisted but he had nowhere else to move except against you, he buried his face in the side of your neck as he let out a muffled groan.

“Hmmm? What was that?” you teased.

“Do- you- intend to kill me, woman?” his breathing was heavy and each word that came out of his mouth sounded tense. The man was at his limit.

“What do you mean?” you asked smirking at him.

He looked at you with his mouth slightly agape and watery eyes. He licked his lips as he looked at your mouth, he started to lean, your lips mere centimeters from each other…

When you heard a commotion outside. Somebody shouted “Hey! You can’t go in there!”,  and then suddenly the door swung open and Tommy barged inside.

“Apparently you’re having a meeting without me,” Tommy said coolly but when he saw all the open whiskey bottles and the state you were in while sitting between Alfie’s legs, with your dress half open, Tommy’s face fell. Tommy  knew exactly what happens to you after one too many.

[vaguely-functional-directions]

It's just like.

The Lords in Black made a deal with him. One small favour before curtain call would ensure his success. He'd quickly realized that the beings were Hungry, but he was more than willing to provide them their promised meals if that would bring his pride and joy to life. And after 5 successful evenings of standing ovations, he was ready for the grand finale.

Some part of him may have felt a hint of guilt, but if he had had the time to explain, he knew they would understand. On the first day, he drove himself to Greg's office. Of course he had to invite the self-proclaimed leader of their little group to opening night. Who would they have been without him, after all? Front row seats, backstage passes. That was what he went to give as a gift. Two old friends walked into Greg's private office. But only one walked out. It wasn't until the next morning when his lifeless body was found by the janitor that his colleagues recalled that he hadn't been seen around the building the rest of the day. No one knew what had happened, but if they thought about it, maybe some could recall a strange green light emanating from under the door that day.

On the second day, he went to get his morning coffee from a local coffee shop, known for it's singing baristas. Purely by coincidence he ran into his old buddy Steve, who was there in line, just ahead of him. At 7:32am sharp. Just like every other business day. After walking out of the shop together Steve started patting his pockets, not hearing the familiar jingle of his car keys. 'Hold this for me, will you?' he had said to Hidgens as he turned to go back to the shop to check for his keys. After returning, if he noticed a strange taste to his coffee, Steve never said anything. A few of his business partners may have noticed a blue flash in his eyes, or perhaps heard a strange, catchy song he couldn't seem to stop humming, but thought nothing of it. Steve did not turn up to work the next day. Or the next. Or the day after that.

On the third day, he suddenly felt the urge to work out. At the gym. Stu's gym, to be exact. The one member of their group that never really gave up the game and kept in shape. 'Have you tried out the new steam room?' Hidgens enquired. 'I heard it was really... out of this world'. It was strange, there was a yellow door in the wall of the locker room that Stu could have sworn wasn't there yesterday. He must be losing his memory, in his old age, he thought. Because how else could a door appear from nowhere? And a steam would be nice after that workout. Opening the door, Stu had stepped inside. Upon closing the door behind him, the door started to shrink. Smaller and smaller until it was no bigger than the side of a rubik's cube. Then, in the blink of an eye, a small yellow box rolled seemingly straight out of the wall before fading into nothing.

The fourth day was Hatchetfield's Fun Days at the local amusement park. Why they had to run this event right in the middle of his musical's run, drawing attention away from his life's work, he didn't know. Did no one in this town appreciate fine performance art? Slipping through the crowd, he spotted his buddy Mark with his wife and young daughter. Walking up to the family he nudged Mark with his elbow. 'How about a ride on the spinning saucers, for old times sake?' he suggested, recalling the times when the boys would make the saucers spin at such speeds they would almost be sick afterwards. Finally reaching the front of the line, and taking their seats, Mark waved to his young daughter who was watching from the side. As the ride started, the saucers began to spin. Faster and faster, reaching impossible speeds so that and passers-by couldn't properly make out the faces of those riding. As it slowed down, there seemed to be one passenger missing. When the ride stopped, Hidgens stood up and disappeared into the crowd, barely making out the voice of a young girl asking her mother 'Where did daddy go?'

The fifth day was bright and sunny. The perfect weather for a hike in the forest. After having Alexa call Leighton to invite him on an outing, the two of them set off for the morning. Despite the weather when they left, clouds quickly started to roll in. 'Looks like rain. We should find some shelter to wait out the storm'. Hidgens knew just the place. Not too far away, they came upon the wide opening of a cave that, if you looked at it from the right angle, almost looked like the mouth of a hungry monster. Just as the clouds burst, the two friends made a sprint for the shelter of the cave. But Leighton didn't notice his friend slowing his pace. He didn't look back to see his friend had slowed to a walk, before stopping altogether. In fact, he didn't look back until he was well inside the cave and noticed the light slowly disappearing. Turning around, he had a last glimpse of the outside world before the cave mouth closed, swallowing him whole.

And now it was time for the Grand Finale. Only one night left of his musical's run and he had to ensure it was a success. One favour left he had to provide the Lords in Black. While he had no guilt about providing them their meals the last 5 days, it was for the greater good after all, this night was different from all other nights. This time, he needed to pay a visit to Chad. The two of them had had some memorable times in college. It felt like they could have taken on the world, if only they did it together. But that had been a lifetime ago. Now, he needed to get down to business. Lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't hear the phone ringing. 'Henry? Have you heard about the boys? I don't understand what's happened but. They're all gone. We're the only two left'. Not knowing how to reply, and being left speechless at hearing Chad's voice again after all this time, all he could bring himself to say was. 'Leave your door unlocked. I'm on my way over' before hanging up the phone. Upon arriving, he opened the front door, which was left unlocked just as he had asked. He found his hand tremble slightly as he pushed the door open. Sure he had done as his deal required with the other boys. Each Lord had recieved their meal in due course. But. This was different. This was Chad. This was personal. This time it had to be himself that struck the final blow. 'Is that you, Henry?' he heard a voice call out from the kitchen. Walking forward into the next room, he embraced his old friend in a hug. As Hidgens reached into his pocket to pull out the knife, he whispered a faint 'I'm sorry, old friend' before he did what had to be done.

Later that evening, Henry Hidgens, local recluse, professor, and now, playwrite, stood onstage listening to the thunderous applause of the audience to take his well deserved final bow.

I am thinking about what the Workin Boys version of the Summoning would have looked like. Like hidgens would have absolutely offered up whatever the Lords in Black wanted the same as how Steph did in order to put on his show. But would they have asked him for the thing he cherished most? Because that would be the workin boys script itself or perchance his Alexa. But that doesn't make sense because how could he give up the very thing he is making a deal to get? UNLESS he becomes so tunnel visioned in making his musical a reality, that nothing else matters anymore. And if he can't sacrifice the tools he needs to put on Workin Boys the musical then... he will have to sacrifice the *real* Workin Boys themselves

[cassifiction]

Something sweet: arcane women x reader

Characters: Sevika, Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx, Cassandra, Grayson, g/n reader

So this is that thing I've been working on. This is part one of three. Part one is something sweet. Part two will be something funny. Part three will be something spicy.

These are 6 short fics, each around 500 words, each with their own scenario revolving around the theme 'something sweet'. The next part will continue to build on these six short scenarios. Please enjoy and let me know what you think 💕❤

Sevika: something of mine

Past midnight, the only sounds echoing through your apartment were your own footsteps. It had been a long night, a fun one spent catching up with your closest friends. Knowing that your girlfriend was likely already sound asleep, you tried to be as quiet as possible as you kicked off your shoes. With it being so late, you decided to just go straight to bed instead of taking a shower first. The noise might wake up Sevika and you knew all too well how groggy she could be when you would wake her up at the wrong time. But you were also pretty sure she wouldn’t object to some cuddles after a long day.

As you approached the bedroom, you noticed a dim light shinining from underneath the door. Was she still awake? You slowly pushed open the door and saw Sevika sitting in your bed. One of the nightlights was switched on and illuminated a book in her hands. A familiar looking bookmark was sticking out from in between the pages. An empty glass on the nightstand indicated she had been there a while already.

“Is that mine?” you asked, inquisitively.

Sevika looked up at you, almost seeming surprised. It looked like she hadn’t heard you approach the bedroom.

“It is.” she replied, glancing back down at the book as she picked up a piece of paper from the nightstand and placed it in between the pages. She closed the book, which now had two bookmarks in it, and put it down beside her empty glass.

“I saw you reading it yesterday. Could barely get your attention, you were so absorbed in it.” she smirked.

“Yeah, it’s really good.” you smiled, trying to hide a blush. Talking about your special interests sometimes got you a little flustered.

“Thought I’d give it a shot. Maybe we could talk about it together.” Sevika patted the empty spot beside her. “But not now, it’s late. Get in here.”

You happily obliged, crawling into bed beside her and wrapping yourself up in the sheets. They smelled like her, a scent that you grew to love a little more with each passing day. Sevika wrapped a strong arm around you, pulling you close to her pleasantly warm body. She briefly ran her hand through your hair, sending shivers up your spine. As she did, you traced the blue scars on her neck with your fingers before nuzzling your head in the crook of her neck. Within minutes, you could feel her drifting off to sleep.

“Why were you still up if you’re so tired?” you mumbled into her neck.

“I like to be awake when you get home.” she said, half whispering, sounding so sleepy. “I sleep better when I know you’re well and you’re here.”

“That’s so sweet.” you cooed. “I’m here. Let’s sleep.”

She pulled you in a little bit closer, softly squeezing your shoulder with her hand.

“I’m glad. Good night.”

VI: hold me close

A delicious aroma filled the air, making your mouth water more and more with every ingredient you added to the pan of sauce on the stovetop. It was just a regular weekday, no special occasion or anything, you just really felt like cooking up something delicious tonight. You spent a little extra on some high-quality ingredients, looked up a good recipe and just went for it. The results so far were looking and smelling promising. A small taste-test confirmed it. This meal was truly going to be something special and you knew Vi was gonna love it. She always worked so hard and you felt like she deserved something extra nice every once in a while.

Almost like she could hear you thinking about her (or maybe she just followed the scent of your cooking), you heard the front door open. You turned around, eager to greet her, and heard the door slam shut again. Loud. Sometimes she would come home like that, angry and frustrated at everyone and everyone but you, not knowing what to do with herself. It seemed like today was one of those days again.

Peeking around the corner of the kitchen, you saw her looking around the place, seemingly looking for you. She was frowning and she looked tired, but you greeted her with a smile like you always tried to do. Neither of you spoke, but she slowly approached the kitchen to see what you were doing. Still focused on your cooking, you quickly got back to the various pots on the stovetop.

“Hi love.” you said as you heard her enter the kitchen.

“Hey.” she replied, clearly trying to look and sound like everything was fine, but the tone of her voice revealed her exact mood at the moment. And it wasn’t good.

“Bad day?” you asked, turning around slightly so you could look at her.

A crack immediately formed in her stoic appearance as you saw the corner of her mouth twitch at your question.

“Kinda. Sorta. Yes.” she said, crossing her arms and leaning back against the counter beside you. You could tell she was still trying to restrain herself. You gave her a worried look.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

Sometimes talking about it helped, sometimes it didn’t. You didn’t really mind, as long as she didn’t bottle everything up indefinitely. But even if she didn’t want to talk, you wanted to do something for her.

You put down the utensils you had been using and put one of your arms around Vi. She didn’t push you away, but you could feel her stiffen up a little.

“Come on, I’m fine..” she grumbled, but she didn’t protest as you put a second arm around her as well.

You wrapped your arms tightly around her shoulders, holding her in a loving embrace. She hesitantly let her hands rest on your back, still unsure of if she wanted to be hugged right now or not.

“I’m glad you’re home. I love you, you know that, right?” you hummed in her ear, resting the side of your head against hers as you held her close. And as you did, you felt her starting to shake a little. She let out a sharp, shaky breath as you felt her arms move from lightly resting on your back to being tightly wrapped around your waist.

Vi didn’t speak, just buried her face in your neck as she held you even tighter. You felt tears slowly drip down onto your neck and your shoulder as she quietly let out her emotions. Only for about a minute, then the tears stopped. She continued to hold you for just a little longer, clinging onto you like she never wanted to let go again. You gently turned her around so that her back was against the stove, careful to keep her a safe distance away from the flames.

“What are you..” she mumbled, noticing you were doing something behind her back.

“Shh, just stay where you are. As long as you need.” you said, attempting to turn her head back around

“You’re making food behind me?” she laughed through the remnants of her tears when she realized you were stirring the pot of sauce behind her.

“It’s gonna be so good. I just have to keep stirring it or else it’ll burn.”

“Well, I have to admit..” she said, resting her chin on your shoulder. “this is by far the nicest thing someone has done behind my back today.”

Caitlyn: always so busy

Five past four. She was supposed to be here five minutes ago, but at this point you were not worried yet. You knew Caitlyn was a busy woman, she was always spending so much time at work. Today, you had made plans to meet in between her shifts, at a cozy little café. Any time spent with her was precious, so you would take whatever time you could get.

You had arrived ten minutes early, so by now you were a little bored sitting by yourself. Keeping yourself busy by snacking on the complimentary biscuits on the table, you tried to not look at the clock too much.

“You sure I can’t get you anything?” a waiter had suddenly appeared beside you.

“No thank you, I’m still waiting for someone.” you replied.

The waiter gave you a sympathetic look. “Date standing you up?”

You looked back at the clock. Ten past four. They weren’t wrong to assume, you had been here for twenty minutes now.

“No, no. She wouldn’t.” you assured them.

Suddenly, the door of the café swung open, the cute little bell above it ringing loudly, making the few other people also sitting in the café turn their heads in surprise. Standing in the doorway was Caitlyn, her face red and sweaty and she was completely out of breath.

“Sh- I mean, oops. My apologies” she said in between breaths, looking up at the bell above the door and straightening her clothes.

You smiled and turned towards the waiter, who was still standing beside you. “We’ll have two cappuccinos. And two lemon cupcakes, please.”

Caitlyn hurriedly walked over to you, plopping down onto the empty seat in front of you, still trying to catch her breath.

“I’m so sorry. There was an incident at the plaza, and the paperwork that came with it-“

“Cait, it’s fine.” you laughed, “you’re only ten minutes late. That’s nothing.”

She reached her hands out to grab your own hands resting on the table in front of you. Her hands felt warm against yours, her body still flushed from apparently running towards the café. She held your hands gently, slowly stroking them with her thumbs.

“That’s ten minutes less spent with you. To me, that’s a lot.”

It was hard to hide the blush appearing on your cheeks. “I’m glad you think so.”

The waiter soon returned with your order. Caitlyn seemed hungry, the cupcake you had ordered for her was gone withing two minutes. Some days she didn’t have time to eat during her shift. You couldn’t help but worry about her sometimes.

Even though your time together at the café was short, you thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. After only thirty minutes, Caitlyn’s break was over again and she had to go back to the station. Outside of the café, before you went your separate ways again for the day, Caitlyn reached out to hold your hands again.

“Look, I’m.. sorry we don’t do this more often. I really am.” she said, looking down.

“Cait, it’s ok. I know your job means a lot to you.”

“You mean a lot to me too now.” she looked up at you. “I’m going to talk to some of my superiors. See if I can figure something out so I can spend more time with you.”

“That’s.. really nice of you. But please don’t feel like you have to.”

“I don’t.” she said softly, reaching a hand up to cup around your cheek. “It’s because I want to. I really want to.”

Jinx: made for you

“Jinx?”

The sound of your voice echoed off the walls, but Jinx was nowhere to be seen.

“I’m here, are you ready to leave, or..?”

Again, no answer but your own echo. You knew she was around here somewhere, you just didn’t know where. Earlier that week you had made plans to go out and it wasn’t like Jinx to flake last-minute. She always loved going places with you, even if it was just something simple like getting lunch.

Just as you were about to turn around and leave, you saw her poke her head around a corner. She had a huge smile on her face and looked very happy to see you. The headphones covering her ears were probably the reason she didn’t hear you the first time.

“Just a minute! I’ll be right there!” she yelled at you excitedly. “And DON’T come over here! It’s a secret!”

“What’s a secret?” you yelled back, trying to get a peek from where you were standing. No response.

“Fine. Keep your secrets.” You turned around to face the door, your arms crossed in a mild protest. A few moments later, Jinx surprised you by attacking you with a hug from behind and pressing a big kiss onto your cheek.

“I’m working on something new.” she grinned. “It’s gonna be fun. It’s not even an explosive this time. Ideally, it shouldn’t explode at all. Anyway..”

She released you from the hug and grabbed you by the shoulders, turning you around so you were facing her now.

“This is very important. You’re gonna help me build it.”

“I am?” you said, a look of confusion on your face.

“Yes. All you have to do.. is tell me something that you like.” she said, sounding dead serious.

Something you like? How would that help you with what she was making? And whatever the hell was she making anyway?

“I don’t get it.” you laughed sheepishly.

“It’s very simple. To help me, just tell me something you like.” she said, intently looking you in the eyes.

“You?”

You giggled as you watched her face turn beet red. Clearly, that wasn’t the answer she had been expecting. But it wasn’t a wrong answer, because you really did like her a lot. And she knew it. You just didn’t say it out loud like this all that often.

“That’s not what I meant!” she stammered, “I mean, I like you a lot too, but that’s not what this is about! Okay, it kinda is, but not like that! Just tell me something else you like, like cookies or rainbows or something.”

“Uh.. poros? I like poros, they’re so cute and fluffy.”

“Yes. Good. I can work with that. Sheesh.” she sighed, but she followed it up with a laugh. “Alright, sorry, that was weird. Let’s go.” she said as she gestured towards the door.

You followed her out the door, ready to leave and have some fun outside. Holding hands as you walked, you tried to figure out whatever the little project was that she was working on. And why she needed to know a thing you liked. It was hard to connect the two, but whatever it was, you were sure she would show you in time.

“So why ask for something I like?” you decided to ask as your final question on the matter.

“Ok, so it’s gonna be something I myself like. Obviously” she explained. “Now it’ll also be something you like. Yes? And finally, it’ll be a gift for someone I like.”

She blushed a little again, but she was still smiling. “Full circle, get it?”

“I get it, yeah. Can’t wait to see it.” you smiled back at her.

“Tough luck. You’re gonna have to!” she laughed.

Cassandra: mirror, mirror

“It’s only a neighborhood gathering, right? You could wear a sundress. The weather is lovely today.” you suggested to Cassandra, who was taking her sweet time picking out an outfit for the afternoon.

“I’ve told you before, it’s not that simple. Please, don’t rush me.” she replied, sounding slightly annoyed at you. You could also detect a hint of frustration in her voice.

You sighed. “I’m trying not to. But it’s starting in twenty minutes. You need to choose something.”

Silence, followed by the sound of a dress being tossed away. You were used to Cassandra’s dressing up routine by now. It usually took a while, but you knew why. Due to her status, she always desired to look immaculate. Waiting for her for an hour just to go out to get coffee was frustrating, but you tried to be understanding and put up with it for her sake. Despite the annoyingly long times you had to wait for her, you did love her a lot, after all.

The dress she had tossed onto the floor was peeking out from behind the dressing screen. Worried it would get dirty, you picked it up off the floor.

“Why not this one?” you asked, absentmindedly studying the soft fabric. It was a simple, yet beautiful white dress with small yellow and golden flowers on it.

“A sundress is very casual. Too casual for this occasion. You show up in a dress like that and people will assume you think you’re just there to have fun.”

“We’re not there to have fun?” you asked, a little confused. “Is it not a neighborhood gathering?”

“This is Piltover. Everything is business.” she huffed, trying on another dress. “But show up in something too formal, and people will think you’re merely there to get something out of them.”

“So it’s not business?”

“It’s not business. And yet it is. It is both. And neither.”

High society Piltover politics. You never quite got to understand it during your time spent with Cassandra. To you, it all seemed like made-up rules by made-up hierarchies and titles.

“Can I please get your opinion on this one. I’m.. out of options.” you heard her quietly say behind the dressing screen.

When you walked behind the screen, you saw she was wearing a knee-length blue dress with a high neck and a tight waist. A formal dress. Way too formal for a neighborhood gathering.

“It’s lovely. But I don’t think-”

“It’s too formal.” she cut you off, sounding even more frustrated now, staring at herself in the mirror.

“Hey. Please. You worry too much.” you said softly, carefully reaching out to give her a hug from behind. She felt tense, so tense as you wrapped your arms around her waist. For a moment, she held her breath as you touched her, but soon she released that tension with a long, deep sigh. She placed her arms over yours, holding you as she stared at herself in the mirror.

“The sundress, the one with the flowers. Combine it with the big yellow sunhat, a small belt around your waist and those heels you got last week. You’ll look lovely. It’ll be fine.” you said quietly.

“I think.. I think that would work, yes.” she exhaled, sounding relieved.

She squeezed your arm with one of her hands. “Thank you, love. Whatever would I do without you.”

Grayson: pick one

“Grayson?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Would you prefer it if I brought you a gift or if we spent some time together just talking?”

You tapped your pen on the magazine you were holding in front of you, closely studying its pages.

Grayson looked up from the book she was reading, sitting beside you on the couch, your legs draped over hers as you leaned back against the side.

“Why? Is it a special occasion?” she looked at the calendar on the wall across the room. “Oh, no. Did I forget something?”

“No, don’t worry. Just curious.” you assured.

“Oh. I see.” she sighed, relieved. “In that case, I suppose would prefer to just spend time with you.”

“Got it.” you mumbled, scribbling something down on the magazine in front of you. “And if you had to choose between receiving a gift from me or receiving a hug, what would you choose?”

“Ah.. uhm. A gift?” she replied, sounding confused. “I would rather have both, though.”

“But what I mean is if you can only pick one. What about- “

“Alright, what are you doing?” she said, trying to look at the magazine you were holding in your hands, but you quickly yanked it away.

“No peeking!”

“I’m not cooperating until you tell me what you’re doing.”

On the pages in front of you was a quiz. You had noticed it in a shop earlier that day and the quiz was something that got you curious. A list of twenty ‘this or that’ questions, a scoreboard for every question. The title “what is your partners love language?” pasted in big letters at the top. At this point in your relationship with Grayson, you hadn’t been able to figure out her love language yet. One day you swore she was all about physical touch, while on other days she would offer to help you with just about anything.

“It’s a quiz. I’m trying to figure out your love language.”

Grayson looked confused. She had clearly never heard of this concept before.

“English?”

“No. I mean, yes, in a way. There’s five of them. Acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch. I’m trying to see which one fits you.”

Grayson laughed, amused and a little endeared by your silly little quiz.

“That’s ridiculous.” she shook her head. “Why pick just one?”

“Because that’s how the test works!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms up in the air. “This is a real thing! I’m just really curious!”

“Alright.” Grayson chuckled. “I know something. I’ll show you.”

“What?”

She silently walked to the kitchen, taking a few dirty dishes from the table with her, gesturing for you to stay put. When she got back, one of her hands was behind her back.

“My love. My dearest.” she said, adding a little extra dramatic flair to her voice, “Because I love you so much, I brought the dishes to the kitchen so you wouldn’t have to. And if I might add, you’re looking lovely today.”

“Okay.. thank you?” you said, a little apprehensive.

Grayson reached out to hold your hand, reaching it up to her mouth to kiss it gracefully. Unusual as this was for her, those soft lips felt really nice against your fingers.

“And I bought these for you today.” she added, producing a pack of cookies from behind her back and placing them in your hand.

“Oh, I love these!” you said, excitedly opening the pack right away.

“I’m not done yet.” she added, “And I cannot wait to spend some quality time with you this evening. There, I believe that makes five.”

“Oh, come on, you can’t just do all of them.” you grumbled. “That’s not how it works.”

“And yet I did.” she said triumphantly, sitting down beside you on the couch again.

“You can’t make me choose. I will be loving you in every language I know.”

Notes: damn I really outed myself as a domestic fluff enjoyer didn’t I

Ok, this was really fun to write. It also took ages to make so I hope everyone else enjoyed reading it as well ❤💕

[iris-ren]

vampire! levi x reader

tags: somnophilia//stalker levi//blood// blood kink//general smutt// violence// praise 18+

summary: a vampire tired of eternal life finds his new obsession

word count: 5k

you were shivering in your sleep. it was the dead of winter and your cottage was drafty, even with a fire lit in the hearth.you had grown accustomed to the cold nights alone ever since your parents died from the plague back in 1802, leaving behind just their loving daughter and an old cottage.

the townsfolk labeled you as the local spinster, though you didn’t mind much.. there was truth in the name. marriage was something you had no interest in. you had everything you needed thanks to your parents. their death was still too painful to really think about, but you deeply wished that they could’ve had more time together.. you had never seen love as deep and true as theirs.

you knew you would never find an all encompassing love like the kind your parents shared, it was too rare.

you never spared a glance at any of the men in town and declined any proposal of courtship. there was nothing wrong with the town’s men, but you’d rather be alone in comfort than be in a mediocre marriage.

you never knew that you had caught the eye of the phantom of the ackerman manor.

he was no real ghost, though everyone in the land had named him as such, having passed down tales of the vicious blood sucker that lived in the old property on top of the hill.

he haunted the halls of ackerman manor for centuries, having grown tired of the boring existence of eternal life, that was until you caught his eye.

you consumed his every thought since that monumental day.

levi had just dismissed his butler after they brought him his daily glass of blood.

before he could take a sip, he quickly moved to the giant arched window when he took notice of a young woman walking across his land.

what a foolish girl. he thought.

is she not afraid?

hasn’t she been warned not to go near the ‘fearsome ackerman manor’?

had she not been warned that the bloodsucking ghoul had a habit of ravishing young girls just like her while draining them of their blood in the process?

——

from that moment on, levi decided he had to know this gallant young lady…intimately.

ever since that day levi felt the undying need to watch you from afar. he took on the role of voyeur, and the silent protector.

he was the crow at your window every morning, and the vampire standing in your bedroom every night.

levi would watch you in your peaceful slumber every evening.

you wore that same tantalizing chemise every night, and every night levi fought against his natural urges just seeing the delicate flesh of your neck being so exposed in the moonlight shining through the curtains.

it was this night that levi noticed you shivering under the covers after the fire in the hearth began to extinguish.

levi stood, still observing.

he knew that he wanted you in every way possible….yes, he knew that he wanted to ravish that beautiful cunt of yours, while drawing blood from the crook of your neck as his name rolled off your tongue in pure ecstasy.

but what was this emotion that you were unknowingly drawing out of him now?

without another thought levi walked over to the hearth, and stoked up the fire while placing fresh logs on top.

the room began to heat up once more, and your body finally stopped its shaking.

levi made his way back to your side.

he almost laughed at how this sleeping beauty who lay before him, was able to survive in this world before he came along.

————

it was another cold & grey day. the clouds above were gathered together tightly, only letting in the smallest pieces of sunlight.

the wind seemed to blow straight through your old winter coat as you made your way into town.

you knew you needed to purchase more firewood, you noticed this morning that you had let it run too low.

i could have sworn that i had plenty of logs just yesterday.

you pushed the thought to the back of your head, chalking it up to your forgetfulness.

————-

after filling your basket with fresh wood, you decided it would be best to stop by the seamstress shop to see if anything could be done about your old coat.

you genuinely hoped she could patch it up, there is no way you could afford a brand new winter coat.

you felt your body relax when you stepped into the warm shop. you were thankful to get out of the rigid cold.

the sweet elderly seamstress greeted you as you made your way through the shop.

“good morning young lady, it’s been quite a while since i’ve seen you”

“good morning ma’am and yes it has, i hope you have been well.” you smiled.

“as well, as an old widower could be.” she laughed. “what can i do you for?”

“it would be greatly appreciated if you could mend my coat ma’am”

A solemn look fell over her face, “oh no, this coat is too far gone” she said as she examined it.

“you need a proper coat, here i can get you measured. she circled you, attempting to remove the coat from your body.

you nervously waved a hand.

“oh that’s quite alright”

a shuffling sound came from the next room.

you hadn’t realized anyone else was in the shop, your face became flushed when you locked eyes with the most beautiful man you had ever seen as he exited the tailoring room.

time seemed to slow as he strolled through the shop.

it wasn’t his fine clothes that attracted you to him, no.

it was the air that he had about him.

his aura was positively magnetic, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. his presence felt so familiar.

you broke out of your daze when he addressed the shop keeper.

“thank you for the cravats, and when should i expect my coats to be ready?”

“they will be ready by next week, mr. ackerman”

she beamed, clearly excited from the business this man was bringing.

“oh! how rude of me!” she looked over to you,

introducing you to the man that was staring at you intensely. your heart went soft for a moment when she said your last name out loud, instantly thinking of your parents.

the man reached for your hand, time seemed to move slow once again as he brought it to his lips leaving a kiss on the top.

“levi ackerman, it’s a pleasure miss.” he smiled as he gently dropped your hand.

“may i ask what a beautiful young lady such as yourself is doing out in such a thin coat?”

you couldn’t think of a response, it was like all coherent thoughts left your brain ever since the two of you locked eyes.

thankfully the seamstress interjected, “she’s here because she is in desperate need of a new one.” she laughed.

“oh, no no i think i will keep this one. thank you.”

you said as you tried to rush out of the shop feeling utterly embarrassed by her comment.

“wait!”

you couldn’t resist that voice, you felt utterly compelled to turn around.

“please let me, i couldn’t live with myself if i let a woman such as yourself walk out of here without a proper coat.” levi pulled out his wallet.

you were about to object when he cut you off,

“please, i insist” he said, taking a slight bow.

———

when the two of you walked out of the shop you couldn’t help but notice how much warmer your new coat was compared to your old one.

“thank you so much mr. ackerman, how may i ever repay you?”

levi smirked, “please, call me levi, and there is no need to thank me, but if you would like to repay me i humbly ask that you repay me with your time.”

your brows furrowed in confusion.

“please allow me to host you for dinner tomorrow, at ackerman manor. it’s been quite a while since i’ve properly hosted a guest”

god who is this man i feel like i’ve seen him before

“oh of course it is the least i can do! it would be a pleasure!”

he kissed your hand again as his carriage arrived.

“the pleasure is all mine” he said as he stepped into the carriage.

————

you dreamt of levi that night. it all felt so real, you thought you could truly feel levi’s mouth sucking on your already swollen clit humming sweet nothings all while doing so, sending shock waves throughout your entire body.

you could feel it all.

you felt your temperature rise under the stone cold grip that he had on your thigh.

your pussy clenched when two of his fingers entered you, tapping and curling up against that perfect spot deep in your cunt.

your back arched as you gripped the sheets tightly while screaming out in pleasure, having never felt like this before.

your eyes met his ravenous gaze, as your pussy clamped down on his fingers, your orgasm shaking you to your core.

“mmmm… such a good girl….i knew you would be.”

you woke with a start, with sweat pooled on your forehead. you quickly tried to take in your surroundings, not understanding how a dream could feel so real.

you spent the rest of the night trying to ignore your throbbing clit, but thoughts of him filled your mind.

————-

you were quite surprised when mr. ackerman’s carriage arrived outside of your home just as you were heading out the door, you originally planned to travel to ackerman manor on foot. the elderly coachman greeted you by tipping his hat in your direction, “good evening miss, lord ackerman has sent me to retrieve you for dinner this evening.”

mr. ackerman continues to astound you with his generosity, “well how very kind of him.” you smiled as the coachman guided you into the carriage. “make yourself comfortable, miss.” the coachman gave you a short bow as he closed the carriage door and assumed his position on his elevated perch behind the horse reins.

you suddenly felt a pang of guilt shortly after the ride began, mr. ackerman has shown you nothing but kindness and you took it upon yourself to have filthy dreams about him last night. your guilt was short lived, when you thought about how he looked in your dream. levi’s eyes were heavy lidded and full of lust while he devoured you.

you pressed your thighs together when you thought about how the black strands of his hair fell all over his face while he was nestled in your heat.

you were shook out of your thoughts when the carriage ran over what you guessed to be a large rock. feeling embarrassed about your previous thoughts, you turned to the window to take in the view of the landscape, the scenery grew more and more beautiful the closer you got to ackerman manor. the hills rolled as far as the eye could see, and beautiful old oak trees popped up sporadically in your line of sight. there was one tree in particular that caught your attention, a black bird was perched on one of its branches. you couldn’t help but feel like you have seen this bird before, but when? or where? you couldn’t put your finger on it. the bird let out a loud screech and quickly flew away.

how peculiar.

wolves howled in the distance as the carriage ascended up the hill, arriving through the gates of ackerman manor.

you mentally commended mr. ackerman on his ability to keep up such an old home so well.

the estate that the gothic home sat upon was massive, there was a large flower garden that looked almost like a maze at the side of the home, and you could even see part of a greenhouse at the back of the estate from your view. you were in awe of the beautiful architecture, you never noticed just how beautiful the home was, having never seen it at such a close proximity.

the carriage finally came to a halt while you were still gawking at the beautiful architecture through the window.

heavy rain clouds loomed overhead as the coachman assisted you out of the carriage, “best get you inside miss, dreadful weather is on its way.”

you nodded as he swiftly led you up the large steps of the manor.

the great arched door creaked open when you reached the top of the steps, you turned to thank the coachman for his assistance but your words fell short. the coachman was already sitting on top of the carriage, slamming the reins against the horses backs, making great haste to get off the property as soon as possible.

you tried to process the coachman’s odd behavior, but a voice turned your attention back to the massive entryway, “ah! you must be lord ackerman’s honored guest of the evening! pleased to meet you, the names hange. i am lord ackerman’s lead butler.”

you smiled at the butler, “pleased to meet you hange.” you reached your hand out in attempt to shake their hand, but hange seemed to have misunderstood your gesture and latched onto you hand tightly, as they pulled you through the doorway laughing while doing so. “let me show you to the dining room. lord ackerman will join you shortly!”

everyone seems a bit odd around here. you thought as the daffy butler led you through the grand entryway.

the two of you passed a massive staircase lined with tons of antique portraits of whom you presumed to be the ancestors of the ackerman family. the inside of the home was even more beautiful than the outside. you were in complete awe of the gigantic chandeliers that hung from the ceilings, while stone archways led the two of you through each room.

“you know, you are our first guest in quite some time.” hange said as they opened the door to the dining room.

“really? with such a lovely estate i thought mr. ackerman would host guests quite often.” you said as you took in the sight of the dining room, which you would consider a dining hall because of its size, the table itself had to be 30 feet long.

“it’s true, mr. ackerman isn’t much of a people person.” you were surprised by their statement, levi seemed to be a very personable man in your opinion.

hange led you across the room, and pulled a chair out for you next to the head chair of the table. you were grateful to be sat so close to the large fireplace that emitted heat throughout the room. your bones were finally able to defrost from the freezing weather outside.

“i'm so glad you finally decided to join us, mr. ackerman will be down shortly.” they said as they quickly left out through the servant door.

“im so glad you finally decided to join us.” what did they mean by that?

you were too busy racking your brain over the butlers peculiar statement, that you didn’t hear the lord enter the dining hall. you finally took notice of the man when he arrived at his seat at the head of the table. your brain went into overdrive at the sight of mr. ackerman, he was unnaturally handsome, carrying an air of elegance and sensuality with him everywhere he went.

levi’s gaze landed on you, as you took in the sight of him dressed in a black tailcoat that had a striking contrast over his white dress shirt and cravat. still towering over you, levi reached for your delicate hand, slowly bringing it up to his mouth placing a languid kiss on top. you couldn’t help but take a sharp breath in, the gesture caused heat to rise in your cheeks.

“please forgive me for my tardiness, it seems i lost track of time.” he said as a male servant brought you a plate of ham and potatoes, while another servant placed a bowl of golden brown rolls, and a large carafe of red wine in front of the two of you.

“please it was no inconvenience at all, i am honored to be your guest this evening mr. ackerman” you said as levi poured you a glass.

“please, i really must insist that you call me levi, mr. ackerman is far to formal.” you smiled as he placed a full glass of wine in front of you.

“okay levi, since we are ridding ourselves of formalities, why do you not have a plate in front of you? too shy to eat in front of your guest?” you halfheartedly teased as you took a sip of your wine.

levi chuckled at your chide, as he reached for his glass. “well, i must apologize to my honored guest, it seems i am still full from my meal earlier today.”

the two of you partook in flirtatious banter throughout the rest of the meal, as the weather grew more and more turbulent outside.

the fire had grown weak as the time passed, and you were feeling quite buzzed once the two of you finished the carafe of wine.

you rose from your seat, deciding you wanted to observe the erratic weather of the night. you immediately regretted your decision when your head began to spin from the movement, causing you to trip on your way to the window.

levi moved with impossible speed, catching you on your way down. you were breathless when levi looked into your eyes, holding your body against him tightly. “i think that i have been a terrible host. it seems i have gotten my beautiful guest completely drunk.” he said as his lips were just inches away from yours, just begging to be kissed.

beautiful?

you snapped out of the trance that his eyes had on you.

“how did you reach me so quickly? you were still seated when i fell.” you said, still gazing into his grey eyes.

levi laughed, “i was next to you the whole time.” levi kept his arms around you as he lifted you to you feet.

feelings of embarrassment washed over your body, “oh i’m terribly sorry, i’ve made a fool out of myself. i haven’t drank in a while, i must have lost my tolerance.”

levi looked at you sympathetically, as he reached a hand up to cup your face, “please don’t apologize, i will arrange a room to be made up for you tonight, the weather is much too volatile for you to travel in any way.”

you shook your head about to turn down his offer when he interjected, “please, it is the least i can do. i would be an awful host otherwise.”

there was something about his eyes, staring into them immediately convinced you to stay.

———-

hange showed you to your room, having already drawn you a warm bath in the connecting bath chamber. you weren’t surprised that it was just as beautiful as the rest of the home, although this room was much more feminine than the rest. a large white vanity sat in the corner, and a four postered bed with silk curtains was situated in the middle of the room, bathing in the moonlight that washed through the large arched windows.

hange left out a fresh chemise for you to sleep in on the bed. you moved to examine the undergarment, it looked brand new. the fabric was so fresh, it felt like it was crafted just hours before.

why does levi keep fresh chemise’s on hand? you wondered after you were freshly bathed and clothed in your new chemise.

you stopped short before crawling into the large bed noticing that the weather had cleared up, you gazed at the large greenhouse through your window, wishing you could see all of the plants and flowers up close.

multiple wolves howled in the distance as the moon came into clear view from the passing clouds.

movement in the greenhouse below made you redirect your gaze, you squinted trying to get a better view, you thought you saw a dark figure moving around in there.

the oddest sensation fell over your body, you immediately felt compelled by some invisible force to make your way to the greenhouse.

you tried to shake the thought away with no success, your body betrayed your mind by instinctively moving towards the door. you knew sneaking out of your room was a terrible idea, what if you were caught roaming the dark halls?

your mind and body finally fell in tune with each other as you tried to make your way through the labyrinth that was ackerman manor.

you somehow found yourself traveling through the servant hallways, hoping and praying that it would somehow lead you into the outside world.

the stone passageway finally led you to a wooden door, upon opening the old door cold air poured over your body as you were greeted with the view of the night sky.

you immediately regretted not putting your coat as your nipples hardened under your flimsy chemise, but there was no time to turn back, your new found curiosity compelled your body to keep moving forward.

you crossed your arms over your chest as you trekked across the property, trying to conserve as much body heat as possible. you finally reached the glass doors of the greenhouse, you rushed inside immediately closing the doors behind you to keep out of the night air. you let out a sigh of relief as you made your way through the rows of plants.

just like the manor, the greenhouse was massive. the dome-shaped structure housed many beautiful plants, most of which looked completely foreign to this region.

you continued to make your way through the rows of plants and flowers, the rows seemed to go on and on. you felt that your curiosity was amply rewarded when you entered a room full of red roses, their pleasing aroma surrounded you while dancing on top of your skin.

“it’s considered most inappropriate to snoop, you know.” you gasped as a deep voice cut through the silence from behind.

you turned to face him, “i’m sorry mr. ack-“

“just levi, remember?” he said, cutting you off. his pupils dilated, seeing you moving about in the night dress that he bought just for you. levi’s eyes raked over every inch of your body, he has seen this all before on the nights when he would watch you sleep but, it was so much better seeing you like this while you were awake, looking at him with those wide eyes. levi felt his cock twitch at the sight of your hard nipples rubbing against the thin material.

“i’m sorry… levi, i guess my curiosity got the best of me.” you said feeling ashamed.

“please don’t apologize.” has said as he moved closer. you gulped, feeling exhilarated at levi’s close proximity. levi felt your heart rate jump, causing a smirk to appear on his face.

“they’re beautiful aren’t they?” he questioned as he plucked a single rose and handed it over to you.

“oh yes, very beautiful.” levi’s eyes never left your face as you spoke, he didn’t understand how he could come to feel for anyone this way, much less a mortal. you were an enigma to levi, your presence alone made him feel drunk on lust, and maybe even love, he didn’t really know. levi knows that he has never been good at understanding or expressing his emotions properly.

levi’s eyes went wide when the smell of iron infiltrated his senses. you looked down to your finger that the rose just pricked, immediately bringing it to your mouth to suck the spec of blood away.

all previous thoughts evaporated from levi’s mind. now in predator mode, levi lurched forward paralyzing you under his grip. one arm locked around your waist while the other held your neck in place. it all happened so quick, levi buried his fangs into your neck, feeding off of your sweet blood, he could feel himself growing drunk off the taste. your mind didn’t understand what was going on, you only heard the lewd wet noises levi was making on your neck. your eyes rolled to the back of your head, there was no pain, no. there was only pleasure, it’s like levi’s fangs were your personal aphrodisiac in that moment. you felt your cunt begin to throb under your thin dress while levi was feasting upon your flesh. you didn’t understand why this was turning you on.

levi had no control, his only desire was to suck you dry, until he heard a moan escape your mouth. the sweet sound of your voice brought him back to reality, levi retracted his fangs. a worried look fell upon his face as he lifted your limp head, trying to gauge how much life was left in you. you met his gaze with heavy lust filled eyes, immediately closing the distance between your mouths. this time you were the one who had no control, your arms and legs wrapped around him as he hoisted you up on his waist, joining you in the hungry kiss. your tongues clashed together passionately as you moaned into levi’s mouth.

levi was utterly surprised by your reaction, but he wouldn’t question it, not now.

blood dripped all over your white chemise while your pussy dripped all over levi’s shirt. you had never experienced anything this erotic before, you were full of lust right now and you couldn’t bring yourself to care for what kind of monster levi is in this moment.

levi crouched down, laying you gently on the ground below, his mouth left yours causing you to whine in the absence of his lips. levi smirked down at you as he lowered himself to lick up all the excess blood on your chest, you instinctively wiggled your hips in search of friction as he slowly pulled down the top of the chemise exposing your chest to him. levi’s blood drenched lips latched on to your hard nipple while rutting his clothed cock against your clit, causing you to scream out in pleasure.

“mmm fuck, your so good for me.” levi said as he popped two of his fingers into his mouth covering them in blood and reaching down to work circles on your clit.

“oh! fuck!” you yelped as heat began to pool at the base of your stomach.

“yeah?” levi questioned as he watched your face intently.

levi’s fingers changed course, he moved to curl his long fingers deep inside you tapping gently on your sweet spot.

you moaned levi’s name over and over as your pussy pulsed around his fingers. your orgasm crashed through you.

without wasting a moment levi freed his cock from his trousers immediately sheathing himself in your overstimulated cunt. levi moaned in your ear as tears of pleasure filled your eyes.

levi’s cock stretched you wide as he worked his fingers through your hair looking into your eyes.

“so.. fucking.. perfect.” he praised you as his warm cum filled you to the brim.

————

levi scooped you into his arms. you were too worn out to walk. you whole body was so tired you immediately nodded off on the trip back to the house.

————-

masterlist

[scarlettriot]

Stood Up

Pairing: Sero/F!Reader

Summary: When you find your dating making out with someone else at a Halloween party, Hanta swoops in and reclaims your evening, rekindling an old flame.

Contains: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Demisexual Reader, Astronomy/Greek Lore Nerd Sero, Old flame

Warnings: 18+ Below the cut, Minors DNI! Swearing, Demi Problems, Praise/Smidge of Degradation, Name-calling (slut & whore), Pet names (Love, good girl, pretty girl), Car Sex, F Masturbation, Oral M Receiving (Road Head) I think that's everything

A/N: This took me much longer than I expected. It's also my first time writing Sero. Given the season, I decided to add a touch of Halloween and costumes to this one.

If you'd like to read other's in the Stood Up series, here are the links:

Stood Up - Bakugo - WC 3,502

Stood Up - Kirishima - WC 3,612

Stood Up - Kaminari - WC 2,461

Word Count Starting Below: 3,494

Denki Kaminari's annual Halloween bash was in full swing by the time Hanta had arrived. He'd come straight from patrol, wrapping himself up in his own tape making a half assed mummy costume for himself. Not like anyone would notice with the flashing colored lights, loud music, and abundance of liquor.

However, Hanta didn't even make it up to the double glass front doors of Denki's home. Not before doing a double take at the very familiar pirate that ran by him.

"Y/N?" You stopped allowing him the chance to catch up to you, "Holy shit, it is you, when the hell did you get back?"

Three years you'd been gone, working in America. Time differences and busy schedules made it so the two of you barely kept in touch. It was a shame, Hanta thought, considering how close the two of you used to be.

"I- uh- just a few weeks now. I heard you were helping out with the disaster relief after that storm."

It had to be his eyes playing tricks on him, the funny colors of the dancing lights were what made your cheeks look wet, right? Those couldn't have been tears.

"I was, yeah, but I got back yesterday. I didn't know-"

"Get the hell outta here!" His head snapped back towards the front of the house, just in time to see Eijiro, dressed in an impressive werewolf costume, literally throw someone out of the party. The guy drunkenly stumbled off, Eijiro walking over towards where Hanta was standing with you. "Y/N, you good?"

You nodded while Hanta tried to piece together what'd happened. "Sorry, it took me a second to find the bastard. Do ya wanna come back in? I'll make sure he leaves."

"No, Eijiro, thanks though. I'm just gonna head home."

The wolfman frowned but understood. "We'll have a smaller party for ya! Just the gang as a welcome home! You know Denki will look for any excuse to throw a party." He turned his gaze on Hanta. "A mummy, really?"

"You've been a damn werewolf for the last two years! You don't get to give me crap."

Eijiro poked the fuzzy pointed red ears carefully set into his spiky hair. "Mina and I worked real hard on this costume... seemed like a waste to only wear it once."

"We both know you haven't just worn those once, big man."

That got a chuckle out of you while all Eijiro could do was shrug and try to hide a shit-eating grin.

He asked you again if you'd like to stay and once more you said you were going to just head home. It was when you specifically said you were going to be walking home that Hanta spoke up offering to drive you back to your home since it was Halloween and people were creeps.

You were a damn pro hero but he still didn't feel right about just letting you walk home alone.

When you agreed he told Eijiro he'd be back soon and walked over with you to his car.

>>><<<

A part of you missed the old station wagon Hanta used to drive, not that this BMW he now drove wasn't absolutely amazing, you just sort of missed the comfort of the old car.

He waited until he'd reached the end of Denki's long, winding driveway to finally speak. "So, you wanna tell me what happened back there, or am I just supposed to pretend like Kiri didn't kick someone out on your behalf?"

"You could probably just ask Kiri and he'd tell you."

"I could, but, I'd like to hear it from you."

You knew you could tell him, there was nothing you couldn't tell Hanta. There was once a time when the man knew every single detail about your life. Sure, time and distance had put a strain on that relationship but you were back now. There was no reason why you couldn't at least start rebuilding what you and Hanta once had.

"Y/N, if you don't wanna say anything-"

"I was just casually seeing this guy. You know me and dating, how we don't always work out." You said abruptly and he quit talking, "And so, we weren't like official but we said we'd go to this party together. Well, I got here and went looking for him and found him making out with one of Hawks' sidekicks. I got a little upset when he noticed me and, well, he just said he found someone better."

Hanta actually stopped the car, pulled off to the side of the road, threw it in park, and looked right at you because he knew what found someone better meant exactly. You'd used those words in high school when that guy from Shiketsu that you'd been seeing got pissed off that you wouldn't put out and ended it with you. You went to his dorm crying because he 'found someone better', is what you told him. It took him a few hours to get the truth out of you.

You'd always been the kind of person to love with your entire heart but sexually, you'd confessed that you felt different from all the other kids your age back then. Not having the same urges and desires that everyone else seemed stricken with.

"Hanta, it's fine, really. Kiri heard the whole thing and, well, you saw what happened."

"Doesn't make it right! So, you went on a couple dates with a guy, that doesn't mean he just gets to expect you to put out for him! Even if you weren't demi, no one gets to just assume they deserve sex."

His lips were pressed in a narrow line, nostrils flared once in annoyance. He was usually so calm and laid back that you thought it rather cute when he got overprotective. "It's alright, Hants, really."

He still gave you a look that said he disagreed but then shook his head, dropping the subject for now at least.

"Still like those late-night drives?"

"I love them."

"Good."

Hanta waited for a car to pass and whipped the car in the other direction.

It wasn't long before he had the windows rolled down, conversations filling in the blanks of lost time, in between belting out choruses of your favorite songs. Minutes slipped by the further he drove, you lost track of both time and kilometers, letting him tell you all about the ridiculous antics the group had been up to.

Eventually, you caught the scent of salty air and even in the dark, you had a pretty good idea where Hanta was going. He followed a winding road, making two left turns and then a right leaving you on a stretch of road that paralleled the ocean.

You let your head fall against the seat, eyes falling shut and inhaling that wonderful smell you missed so much. Hanta had just one hand lazily on the wheel, his elbow resting out the open window, a relaxed smile was illuminated in soft orange lights off his dash.

You let your head roll onto his shoulder, not as easily done without the bench seat in his station wagon but it worked nonetheless. "Thanks."

His free hand came to rest on your knee, "Anytime."

He turned the wheel, pulling over and parking in front of a small beach access that you guys had found at 3 in the morning five years prior. Hanta kicked off his shoes, leaving them in the car to avoid them being sand-filled and you did the same with the knee-high boots purely because you longed to feel the sand between your toes.

The wooden planks were worn, parts buried beneath the sand until eventually, none remained. Breaking waves flooded your ears and you made a run for them! Before you could reach the lapping water though, tape had wound around your middle and yanked you backward.

"Not happening!" Hanta said firmly. "Last time I let you talk me into late-night swimming we didn't have a change of clothes either and we both got so sick! I think I might have actually died without Bakugo's soup!"

You chuckled, remembering being nineteen and curled up with Hanta on the sofa in the living room of the apartment you all shared for nearly a week. The sniffles didn't cease for almost three weeks.

"Okay, okay, no swimming." You flopped back down into the sand, his tape still attached meaning the cellophane hero was pulled down with you. "Tell me about the stars then, Hants. Who's out tonight?"

Astronomy was a hobby of Hanta's you learned about after moving into the dorms your first year. It wasn't uncommon to find him out on the roof most nights, laying on his back and looking up into the clear night sky littered with twinkling stars, usually with a joint pressed between his lips. It became almost a habit for him to grab you on his way up, pulling you along because you were more than happy listening to him tell you about each constellation and the stories behind them.

It was around this time of year, in your final year of high school; somewhere between him recalling the greek mythos of Aries and Sagittarius that you noticed your heart beating a little faster. You realized something had shifted between the two of you, and, holy shit, was this what it felt like to have a crush! When the hell did that happen?

You'd entrusted everything to Hanta back then, and now, laying in the sand shoulder to shoulder while he talked about Draco, that familiar feeling stirred again. You remembered what it was supposed to be like when you weren't forcing it for some random guy. How simple it was supposed to be.

You inclined on an elbow and he stopped mid-sentence. "Eh, everything alright?" You nodded but he looked anything but convinced, mirroring your position and asking you again.

It was easy for you to lean forward, to brush your lips against his for the first time in three years. And, when you pulled away, he looked about as shocked as he had the night you'd done it when you were eighteen.

"You- you still like me?"

When you left for America, you'd both agreed to put a pause on your sort of relationship. Free to date and screw whomever you pleased because three years was a long time and it just seemed like a fair decision to make. The realization that he might now have someone else special in his life dawned on you...

"Yeah but I totally understand if things are different now and I shoulda asked- oof!"

He kissed you so hard you toppled back into the sand, quick pecks, one right after another, ending them with a long one that nearly left you breathless.

"I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't want to make you feel awkward about things or make you think I expected something. I thought that maybe since we didn't talk for a while your feelings might have changed."

"I can say with confidence they haven't."

"Thank fuck." He groaned and captured your lips in another searing kiss.

It was easy to lift his shirt off, the shreds of tape that remained were now covered with gritty sand that clung to your fingers as you traced the chest and torso you knew so well. Gliding over defined muscles, lingering on old scars and mapping out new ones he'd collected in your time apart.

His own hands were busy flicking open the brass fastenings of your corset, huffing about it being so much more difficult to get to your chest and something about it being very unfair.

By the time he'd undone the last one, bright headlights shown across the beach. "Shit."

Giggling ensued from the walkway and you both sighed, at least it wasn't the police or a hero patrol. Hanta gathered his shirt and ran back to his car with his hand in yours.

"I thought our days of being caught were over."

"At least it wasn't Mr. Aizawa this time."

A chill ran down your spine remembering the night and the lecture you'd received when your teacher had caught Hanta sneaking out of your room early one morning.

"So, uh, do you still plan on going to Denki's party?" You asked innocently enough but Hanta knew you far too well.

"I think I'm gonna miss it this year." His hand found a home on your upper thigh. "Apparently, you and I have a lot of catching up to do. Lost time to make up for and all that."

"Too bad you don't have that old station wagon anymore. If you did, we wouldn't have to wait to get back."

Dark eyes glanced over at you not so subtly parting your legs.

"I dunno. It's not too often I travel in the backseat of my own car but I've been told it's pretty roomy. Lots of legroom."

Your hand ran over your legs, dipping down to lightly brush your more sensitive parts, thankful you opted for the thin pair of black leggings rather than the dark skinny jeans. Your fingers danced again and this time you let a soft moan pass your lips. "Eyes on the road, Hants."

"That's a little hard to do when I've got you spread out in the passenger's seat." He grabbed your free hand and pressed it against the bulge in his pants. "You've got me distracted, filthy little woman."

You appreciated him testing the waters, a subtle way of checking if you liked those nicknames he used only in private with you, giving you a chance to protest if your likes had changed. They were one's that only felt right coming from him and you were eager to hear more.

Forgoing your own high, you leaned over the center console as best you could, undoing his belt first, followed quickly by his zipper letting his strained cock be free.

His grip tightened on your leg when you kissed the tip of him. "Just like old times, huh?"

A chuckle turned quickly into a moan, taking him in your mouth, pushing yourself further on his cock, fighting your gag reflex to get him down your throat. Hanta reclined his seat further, giving you more room to work with.

Your legs clenched tighter with every groan you pulled from him, wiggling your hips in the seat, letting a hand fall back between your own legs. There was an attempt of a moan around his cock when his fingers coiled in your hair. "Such a good slut. Keep fuckin' goin'." He let you continue at your own speed, needing to focus as best he could on the road rather than what you were doing but, damn, you were making that increasingly difficult.

He wasn't stopping you though. He rarely did. You'd sucked him off on countless drives before and only stopped when- "That's it." He lifted you off him by your hair at the same time he pulled off the road. There was a convenient turn-off, hidden by overgrown brush you noticed before he shut off the headlights.

Hanta took you by the chin, smearing drool. "Backseat, pretty girl." He reached into the glove box and pulled out a foil wrapper, "What do you say we test out that legroom?"

He wait to watch your smile grow wide before crawling into the back because he had to be the first to go if this had any chance of working. Once situated, pants under his thighs, he patted his lap for you to climb over.

You slid easily onto his lap, hands traveling up and over his shoulders, kissing hard while you rocked your hips against impossibly hard length.

There was so much comfort in the familiarity of him. It wasn't awkward to fall back into rhythm with Hanta, to remember that he loved the feeling of your nails dragging down his chest. And he was just as eager to get your shirt off, reach your breasts he'd missed so much, and get his tongue on your nipples.

Your head tipped backward, loving the pace he set, hips bouncing creating the perfect tug on your nipples between his teeth.

"Love, if I promise to buy you a new pair, can I rip these damn leggings? They're just so thin and-"

"Please." Your breathy moan had him smirking and with a single grunt the leggings were ruined, cool air from the vents had only a moment to touch your bare ass before Hanta's hands reclaimed it.

There was no way he hadn't felt your arousal before ripping your clothes off, you soaked through your panties and leggings, you knew that, but that didn't stop him from commenting on how soaked you were now on his fingers. "Want me inside you, whore? I think you do."

You nodded with a whimper and he slipped a finger in. "Hants, noo- I- I want your cock, please."

"You're gonna take my fingers like a good little slut first." You clenched at the words falling from his mouth. "So fuckin' tight you can barely take a finger. How'm I supposed to fit in here if you can even take a single finger? Need you to loosen up, alright." He pushed another finger in, scissoring the two inside you.

"This gonna make you cum? You need this bad, don't you? Tell me. Tell me how bad you need to cum."

"I want it. Please, please, I need it. I'm so close," You babbled and ripped the foil open with his teeth, rolling it with one hand on his cock. In an instant, his fingers had been replaced with this dick. Sticky fingers on your ass helping you ease down on him with a hiss.

"Fuck," Hanta let out a throaty chuckle, "You still fuckin' feel the absolute best." He dropped a kiss between your breasts, letting you adjust to his girth. "Perfect. Good girl. Such a fuckin' good little slut."

He wasn't about to last long. Not once you started bouncing up and down on him, your tits right in front of his face.

"Couldn't even wait for me to get you home, had to fucking tease me in the damn car." He held onto the fat of your ass, pulling you along him and slamming you down hard.

"Kinda pathetic how desperate you are. Fuck. Kinda hot too."

When the top of your head bumped the roof of the car, he scooted lower, trying to give you as much room to ride him however you pleased.

"What do you need? You wanna cum, don't you, pretty girl, what do you need?"

"Faster, faster please."

Hanta shifted even lower, making you grab onto the two headrests while he thrust his hips up into you at a rapid speed. His thumb on your clit was the additional stimulation you needed to fall over the edge. Nails clawing at the black leather as he continued to moan below you now chasing his own release.

You stayed poised above him, using every last bit of strength to stay upright until his mouth was rambling and his cock pulsed inside of you. Fingers bruising your skin before holding your pelvis snuggly against his.

He was bent in a way that looked entirely uncomfortable and yet he still smiled so widely. Reaching up to brush hair out of your eyes, "You okay?"

"Perfects, Hants. A little sore but I'm sure you are too." He moved off his lap, letting him slip out of you with a groan, "Is your neck gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Having you back, love, is more than worth a little bit of a neck cramp."

As he tied a knot in the condom, depositing it into a plastic bag he had tucked away under his seat, Hanta raised a brow, "Love, really, are you alright? Please, tell me if I hurt you at all."

"No! I'm good, why?"

"You're sitting silly."

You were sitting a little odd, perched on your knees rather than sitting on your ass because the leather was chilly and you told Hanta as much making him laugh. "Wait, I think I can help." He leaned back to the front of the car, flicking a button making it glow. Once he tucked himself back in his pants he hopped out of the car and you could see him rummaging in his trunk through the rear window.

"I keep forgetting to take this out from our camping trip a couple months ago. Guess it turned out to be a good thing." He laid the blanket down over the passenger's seat, declaring that should help a bit.

You wrapped the now toasty warm blanket around your bottom half while Hanta drove back towards the city, your head on his shoulder, his hand on your thigh.

"So, shopping tomorrow? I believe I owe you a pair of leggings..."

"It's a date."