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kjhmyg · 4 years ago

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christmas/ny (drabble)

pairing: jungkook x reader | jungkook x oc

genre: fluff, steamy at the end

words: 1.7k

summary: re!couple celebrating christmas and ny with jungkook after the holidays

a/n: um first of all, sorry. this is so bad im cry but also it’s kinda ok? idk. sorry anon if this isn’t what u wanted. i’ll try again next year 2022 lmao

𝄖

As patient as he is Jungkook can’t wait for your nightly call. You try to stay off your phone for the most part being back home, leaving time to talk to Jungkook only when it’s dark out. Of course, some days you miss him so much that you break that rule to sneak in a couple of texts or photos. Today’s not one of them.

Unfortunately, he had missed your earlier call. Horrified seeing two notifications of your failed attempts to reach him, he’s decided not to do anything else till he hears your voice.

Jungkook shoves a spoonful of Suga’s homemade microwave spaghetti into his mouth, eyes not leaving his phone.

“You’re staring at that thing so hard the screen’s going to crack.” Suga judges him from across the table.

“I’m expecting a call.”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs, “But it’s not like your phone’s on silent. It’ll ring once she⎼”

Jungkook jumps within the first few seconds of his phone lighting up, your name flashing across the screen. Leaving Suga to himself, he rushes into the room and takes a deep breath before accepting the call. “Hi.”

“Hey you.” Your chirpy voice makes him smile. “Missed you earlier.”

“I know, sorry. Was busy. Did you have fun today?”

“It was okay. We got a cute little tree and I managed to do some really last minute shopping because I just found out my cousins will be here tomorrow night.” You sigh. “Did you miss me?”

“So much. I hate being apart, you know that.”

“Well I did offer you to come home with me.”

Jungkook had declined again. He doesn’t think it’s the best time to introduce himself to your family yet. Though, he had no qualms about letting your dad know. Funny enough, you decided not to. But you’re certain you heard your grandmother telling him about the couple photo you have as your homescreen.

“Maybe next time.” He hums, thinking about the possible future.

“I think my dad will like you.” The sound of your giggles has him cheesing so hard.

“Is that why you chickened out on telling him about us?”

“I did not! The timing isn't right.”

“Sure baby.” He laughs. “You’re not embarrassed of me are you?”

“I’m embarrassed someone like you is even interested in me.” You both laugh and let the silence engulf you. “You know I love you right? I hope we can spend the holidays together next year.”

“I hope so too.” There’s a tiny amount of sadness in there if you’re listening right.

“I might not be able to call you the next few nights. Since my cousins will be over. I promise to text though.” You say.

“That’s okay.” You hear the smile in his voice. “Just have fun okay? I’ll be here when you get back.”

“One more week.”

“Right. One week. Seven days. I’m sure I can handle being without you till then.”

“Merry christmas my love.” You send him a kiss over the phone.

“Merry christmas to you too.”

When the call ends ten minutes later, he trots back outside, face looking even worse than before. Suga, now done with his food, shakes his head disapprovingly as Jungkook takes his seat and goes back to the sad, cold dish in front of him. “You’re pathetic.”

𝄖

Jungkook holds his breath as the train slowly comes to a stop at the platform. Yesterday was the first day of the new year, which means today’s the day you come back. He’d planned out his route. First he’d get coffee and bagels to-go with chocolate danishes for you, in case you hadn’t had anything during the long trip. Then a short stop at the florist to get you a single rose before going off to the station.

It gets messy as everyone starts alighting and he struggles to catch you among the crowd. That’s when you come into view, head popping out between other random faces, wrapped in a beanie and scarf. Your face lights up when you see him, making hurried steps and dragging your luggage behind you.

“Jungkook!” You squeal, running into his arms.

He kisses the side of your face. “Hey stranger.”

“I’m so happy to see you.” You say, squeezing him tight. “How are you?”

“You’re asking me that as if we aren’t constantly texting each other.” He laughs, handing you the rose and letting you cling onto his arm with your luggage in his other hand, headed for the car.

“I know I’m just trying to break the ice.”

Inside the comfort and warmth of the car, he kisses you deeply. Something he’s been looking forward to for the last three weeks. “How’s that for breaking the ice?”

You roll your eyes but a smile plays at your lips as you properly adjust the seat belt. Gasping when you’re handed chocolate danishes, you pout at him, “You’re so sweet. Come here.” It earns him more kisses which he happily accepts.

In the back seat you notice an odd shaped item, in purple wrapping, done quite messily. “What’s that?” You ask knowingly.

“A surprise.”

“I have one for you too.” You smile smugly.

“Yeah? Can’t wait.”

On the way back, you give him a run down of what went on back home. When he ended up confessing that he hadn’t done anything special for the holidays, not even with Suga, it made you feel bad. Even though he tries to assure you he didn’t want to celebrate it anyway.

Back home, you lug your baggage into the room and dig something out of your bag. A packet of cookies lands on Jungkook’s lap as he takes a seat on the floor in front of the couch. “For me?”

“Mmhm.” Nodding, you tear open the paper bag, behaving more excited than he is. “My grandma said she packed this for my friend. She winked when she told me that. And I’d already brought some back for Hana. I think she knows.”

“About us? How?”

“She’s always been nosy.” You giggle. “I guess she doesn’t want you to get left out.”

“Aw. She’s kind just like you.”

“Wait!” He pauses, startled by your hand on his, stopping him from pulling one of the cookies out of the bag. “Hold on.”

You get up and run to the room. Carrying as many pillows as you can with a comfy blanket somewhere in between, Jungkook watches as you make a barrier with the pillows and spread the blanket over him. Then, you’re off to the kitchen.

After a minute of cabinet doors opening and closing and the clinking of glasses, you come back with two mugs of hot cocoa, marshmallows on top of course. Just the way your dad makes them. You place it right next to him then push the coffee table all the way forward to make more room to spread your legs. You put on a lame christmas movie on netflix, then snuggle up next to him.

“Now it’s a real christmas party.”

Jungkook laughs, holding you close and kissing the top of your head. You do the most unexpected things at the most random times. But he appreciates the way you always try to make sure he’s not left out. “Thank you baby.”

You grin up at him and watch carefully as he takes the first bite of the cookies. His eyes go wide and you nod knowingly. It’s your grandmother’s famous recipe. One even if you had, wouldn’t even be able to replicate its taste. He hums in delight, stuffing his mouth with one cookie after the other.

“So. Let me guess what happens after cookies and cocoa.” He says after finishing almost half the packet.

“What?” You ask, eyeing him.

He reaches round the side of the couch and pulls out the odd package you had seen in the car. “Presents?”

“Presents!”

You run back to your room and appear with a small wrapped box. The rule was not to buy anything that costs more than your monthly rent. You both had agreed to this a while back. Which was difficult for Jungkook because all he wanted to do was to spoil you with expensive gifts.

“What is this?” Jungkook holds the box to his ear and shakes lightly. “Hm.”

“Wait I think I can guess what mine is.” You giggle, pressing into the soft parts of the wrapping.

“Okay then you go first.”

“Okay.” Tearing away the wrapping carefully, you find inside a soft, pink bunny with funky eyebrows. On the bottom of its little feet, there are hearts and in those hearts are both your names embroidered with a plus sign in between. “Aww no this is so adorable. I love it so much.”

“It’s not a diamond necklace but⎼”

“No this is so much better. Thank you.” You give him a hug with the bunny squished between your bodies. “It strangely reminds me of you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah it’s weird and I like it.” You giggle, pinching his cheek. “Now open yours.”

The wrapping comes off easy and he immediately realises what it is as the box comes into view. He looks at you for a second before unboxing it and pulling out a matte black polaroid camera. Jungkook takes his time with it, carefully looking at it from each side.

“Do you like it?” You ask. “I know you like taking photos so I thought you might like this.”

“Y/N I love it.” He smiles, bringing the viewfinder to his eye and getting a feel of it, then putting it down to focus on you. “Let’s take one together.”

You scoot next to him as he loads the film cassette. Then hugging his middle, he hooks his arm around your shoulders and your faces press against each other. He clicks the shutter and you both wait for the film to develop.

It comes out perfect, both your smiling faces perfectly in frame and even bunny made it in which makes Jungkook laugh. He can’t stop staring at it, holding it by the edges so carefully like he’s afraid he’s going to ruin it.

“I love you.” He says, looking at you when he finally sets it down.

“I love you too.”

He kisses you, tasting of hot cocoa and love. You’re being pushed onto the pillows with the blanket beneath as Jungkook hovers over you, pushing the hair out of your face. As Jungkook removes his sweater, you pull your shirt over your head. Jungkook smiles down at you, kisses you, then reaches for the camera. “Merry fucking christmas to me.”

You shimmy out of your jeans and hook your ankle over his shoulder. Snap. “And happy new year baby.”

#jungkook drabble #jungkook fic #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #myfic #rainworks #drabbles;re

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ones-delight · 4 years ago

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I unfortunately won’t have therapy until the end of this month (I should have scheduled one earlier this month ugh lmao I thought one later this month would be better) so I’m doing what my therapist suggested, write down all what’s going through my head even if it doesn’t make sense to help bring myself back to reality. lol. I’m very much lost in my own sauce of feelings and thoughts. it’s allllll about my ex again so ugh lmao. My main anxieties are just feelings about my ex and what’s coming up this semester.

I’m currently in my apartment in Iowa City since we’re about to start back up my usual routine. I’ve been here for almost two weeks now which is nice because I’ve been trying to take my time to relax and get myself mentally prepared for this upcoming semester. I’m also low key glad I’m having these overwhelming anxieties right now instead of later this week. I need to ask my therapist again what exactly I am feeling (if it’s like a panic attack because i truly dont know) because I’ve been feeling hella anxious the past few days (in general) and yesterday my anxiety was so intense that I barely ate and I felt sick to my stomach. idk if others have the same too but when I also get hella anxious, all I want to do is go to the bathroom so tmi lmao. I feel this way now and I just cannot stop crying so again, I’m just writing everything that’s going through my mind lmao.

#1) Related to my ex, heart break

Yeah.. I literally keep talking about this/him and I’m glad I have multiple outlets that I can say what’s going through my mind because if I keep these thoughts to myself, I keep spiraling. I’m also very thankful I have multiple strong support systems from people where it truly doesn’t get annoying to them when I keep talking about him/my overall heart break/healing journey. I know I don’t want to burden my friends with my own thoughts (it can be a lot) so overall very thankful for friends, family, and my therapist lmao.

I think the last time I talked about my heart break was the letter I wrote to him. I wrote it and sent it to him lmao. I also wrote his mom a letter in Spanish because I want to stay connected with her and very thankful she reciprocates the same energy, Apparently, he never received the letter even though I sent it over 3 weeks ago, but anyways yeah that’s a story I will tell later in this post. Anyways, it’s legit easier said than done to completely stop checking on his social media. I was doing great before winter break. Now that winter break has happened (still kind of is for a few more days), I have relapsed where I was checking very often. The break was great since I got to spend quality time with family, however, unfortunately being back in Wichita still floods a lot of my emotions where there are still a lot of memories of him and I that still makes me feel sad (luckily no longer sobbing about but I do still feel some type of way. It’s getting better thankfully). It also hurts that he’s making new memories with his new girlfriend Kylie so I was def feeling all sorts of things. Sorry, I’m trying to go onto chronologize order of events that have happened. I’m jumping back and forth lmao

First, did I mention his mom called me the day before Christmas? I was SHOOOOOK when I saw her name on my phone. I legit froze because I wasn’t sure if it was actually her so I accidently missed her call. I’m so glad she left a voicemail so I could listen first and immediately call her back LMAO. But basically, she wanted to check in to see how I was doing, wish me and my family a merry christmas/happy new year, and asked if I could come see her. We joked a bit back and forth like how she was learning English for me while I’m learning Spanish for her. lmao. so after this phone call, I wrote her a letter to update her on what I’ve been doing. I wrote it all in Spanish since that’s her primary language so thank god for google translate. overall, I told her about how I’m about to earn my masters degree in may, I’ve lost now 30 lbs of weight/having a better relationship with food, how I’m honestly still hurt about her son cheating on me (I was in my feels. You know if you ever get those feelings like you want your mom? She legit is like a mom to me since my mom isn’t an active part of my life so yeah I guess you can say I got mommy issues but anyways) I also told her that if she’d still like me to come over, I’d love to come over and see her.

Few days go by, I’ve been creeping onto his social media, it stings to see how he has flaunted his relationship with Kylie. It hurts because I keep playing this comparison game because he truly has NEVER allowed me to post about us and he would himself refuse to post about us on his social media. So, just to see how he’s been basically spending every single day with her and posting her throughout all of his social media, makes me feel an extreme type of way. during new years, she had a party at her house where it was him, her, his brother paco (which I was SHOOOK because she met paco and not everyone has ever met paco, who is his oldest brother), miguel and his girlfriend (both are super cute btw), Blake (surprisingly), and Erik. I felt some kind of way because obviously I know they would share a new years kiss even tho they’ve only been dating for literally a month. I dated him for 3 years and NEVER got a new years kiss (because he wanted to be with bros). Valentines day is coming up and it’d be their “two month” anniversary and I just KNOW he’d actually put EFFORT into spending that day with her. 3 years I dated this guy and he never ONCE did ANYTHING for me for valentines day. ok I’m getting more hurt thinking how he’s treating his other girls better than me so anyways BACK TO THE TOPIC

few days go by and I got another call from his mom. I actually picked up this time because I was really excited to hear her voice again. I legit would die for this woman legit #1 mom. She asked if she could see me and I happily said yes. It really means a lot that she still gives me the same energy that she gave me when I was still dating her son. One of the hardest parts of us breaking up was the potential of losing his family too because they are all truly good people and I am NOT the CEO of letting people go lmao. okay back to subject, I had TONS of anxiety driving over to her house because I had so many thoughts. I asked on the phone if 1.) is Lalo there. She said no. 2.) Is Paco there. No, he apparently flew back to California that morning. I was low key hoping paco would be there still because it would be cool to catch up with him but anyways my main concern was if eduardo was there so since he wasn’t, I was like “ok vroom vroom let’s go” lmao. WOWOWOWWO seeing her just made my heart so happy. She def has a lot more gray hairs since the last time I saw her lmao she’s the cutest anyways, I’m really shook that HIS DAD FREAKING HUGGED ME. THIS MAN NEVER USUALLY HUGS ANYONEEEEEEEEEEE. Typically how we greet each other, it’s like a wave from a distance and we obvi acknowledge each other. so WOOOOW I was very thankful and shook he hugged me. Anyways, his mom showed me around the house with the Christmas decorations, I noticed her birds were still doing well, she even showed me her new plants she got lmao. We sat at the dining room table and talked and ate mexican snacks. She has broken English and I have broken Spanish so literally thank god for dualingo because it has helped me. I love how when we are together, we talk really slow and try to annunciate for each other LMAOOO. Anyways, THIS WOMAN ALSO GOT ME A STOCKING filled with Mexican Candy. omg this woman i love her so much. Anyways, I showed my tattoos to her and she legit wanted to murder me lmao but she says she likes them but hates them at the same time. She also sat me down and we had a serious conversation in terms of how she sees me. She said that I am no longer known as lalo’s novia, what I am to her is a daughter. I am evelyn’s sister and yo boi that got me crying in the club because that’s what I would love to have, to maintain my relationship with them . Okay, to kind of speed things up, basically we kept talking about Evelyn’s quinceanera that’s happening this year AHHHHHH, dropped Evelyn off and her friend to a friend’s quince, and his mom took me to eat at paleterias tropicana where I tried elote for the first time and had a jugo verde WOOOOOW SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD. literally cannot stop thinking about it. Anyways, random note, I noticed my old K-State beanie in the car and his mom said it was Evelyn’s. It gave me a weird feeling because it was originally mine that he gifted me on our first Christmas together but obviously I knew he wouldn’t keep it so I’m not suprised he gave it to Evelyn. It made me wonder then what did he do to the other gifts that he originally gave me but I gave it back to him once we broke up.. okay that was a tangent, anyways, that was it with the night with his mom and ughhh it was a really fun night and I really am looking forward to seeing her again.

Now fast forward to now-ish, me not doing good of not checking his social media, I got triggered because they now made it “facebook officlal” that they are dating. it triggered me because again, he refused to publicize our relationship and it really threw me off that they’ve only been dating for a month (technically interested in each other since October, started dating November) and already publicizing they are together. they moving hella quick and basically, I got hella bitter. I felt reckless and I texted him. I KNOW I shouldn’t have texted him because I immediately felt a sense of regret after but also low key glad I did text him. ugh i hate me lmao. Anyways, i texted him and he asked if he could call me so I said yes. Luckily, the conversation was better than I expected because it was simply like two old friends catching up. It was a really good feeling even tho I’m honestly still hurt about the way that he treated me. It caught me by suprised when he said that he has talked about me with Kylie and he actually stated that he knows what he did and feels regretful for the choices he made. That was a huge shocker and I do still have trust issues because I try to take things that he says with a grain of salt. He may be saying things to me that I want to hear but it’s not the truth so anyways lmao. Our conversation was good and it really got me thinking what exactly am I doing/how am I really feeling.

I really am happy for him. Yes i’m still deeply hurt and feel a type of way about how he treated me, but I can’t do anything about the past and all I can do is just simply be happy for him. I will always love him without a doubt, but he isn’t my person. I hope this doesn’t come off as selfish but he will never find someone better than me, he is simply finding someone better suited for him. What helps me the most about this is thinking about ME because that’s the situation for him, however, I know I will find someone better than him because I deserve the best.

I felt bad for asking because I am just fucking nosy and I’m glad he was okay with me asking about what happened with his relationship with Lila (the girl he left me for) and how did he start dating Kylie. He shared with with me that even though it was all great in the beginning with Lila (and let me tell you dude, he totally was hella infatuated with her lmao), they started becoming two different people. She apparently wasn’t emotionally there for him when he needed her (IRONICCCCCCCCCCCCC BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW HE WAS WITH ME THROUGHOUT OUR 3 YEARS TOGETHER) and she ended the relationship. It did make me sad to hear because everyone needs support and it is sad when you go to someone for support and they don’t give you it, ya know? anyways, he said with Kylie, they’ve been friends for two years (I knew who she was when we were together but they’ve always only been friends since they worked at the Sunflower together. This will sound extremely bad but I never thought about her being a girl to worry about because she did a lot of “white” things that we make fun of white people for and so it kind of shocked me that he is dating her now but anyways) apparently he said that “they were hanging out and next thing he knows is that he kissed her and that’s how they started dating.” dude didn’t want to go into detail which was fine but I’m also in my head like “ok lmao you literally just got broken up by your ex and then immediately start hanging out with another girl? ok” ANYWAYS, I really am happy for him and wish him the best.

It was cool to hear about what he’s hoping to do. He shared a lot more detail than usual which again caught me by surprise. Anyways, he shared that he is currently looking for a new place to live (a house to rent) somewhere in college hill (conveniently where Kylie also lives lmao) with Erik. He is also hoping to find another job soon because things at KWCH are no longer making him feel happier so he’s looking to see if he can work for a non-profit org which makes me happy for him because I’d also want to do the same. If I’m at a job where I’m not excited to be, I’d want to also try to make a switch. He also shared that junior (martin, his little brother) will be moving to Cali in May to move close to paco which wow made me really happy for them all. Anyways, he shared that he is hoping to stay in Wichita for about one more year and then possibly relocating to KC or somewhere in Oklahoma. i did encourage him KC because it seems that KC has much more opportunities than Wichita and Oklahoma. Only thing we both hate is driving in KC lmao

Okay, so overall, I’m still really hurt about how our relationship was and how it ended but I’m very grateful that I’m doing what is best for me to make progress because this is not an overall easy thing to do, move on. I do feel low key embarrassed that I still am not over our break up but I’m very glad that I know that He isn’t my person. we will and I cannot get back together with him even if he stated that he has “changed” Yes i invested so much in him to be my forever partner and it didn’t work out but that’s okay. I’m always willing to invest in people to be the best version of themselves and it really makes me happy to see people thrive. I truly cannot and will not take him back if there was ever a time where he wanted to give us a second try because I need to remember how he treated me. If he really was always thinking it was me, then he shouldn’t have cheated on me, treated me so poorly. I’m okay with us remaining friends, but as partners in life? that isn’t it. I deserve so much better and the man of my dreams will come. I’m 10000000% okay with being single because I know I need to work on myself so that I can be fully ready for my next. I really wish my next relationship is my one and only, but hey we’ll see.

so this is already extremely long but I’m very glad I got this all out of me. I know I have other anxieties such as starting school again, which will be my last semester before I earn my masters (FINALLY), RA training coming back up (so me working is coming back), JOB SEARCH. So much is coming up and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I need to get my head into gear.

#personal

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pixiegrl · 5 years ago

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For the intimacy prompts, #90 with mashton would be very lovely but no pressure if it doesn’t fit!!

Okay so, this was suppose to be short! Brief! A cute night drive! But then Michael decided to do whatever he wanted. And then Ashton surprised me so. It got very very long. I hope you like it! And that it’s everything you wanted!

(this is a preview of how I write all the time so. This is what to expect from the stardust AU lmao)

Mashton with #90, going for a ride together

Michael’s been playing Kingdom Hearts for the last 12 hours when his phone rings. He ignores it because he’s almost completed the level he’s on and he’s determined to at least finish the Toy Story planet before he takes a break. His phone stops and then rings a second, third, fourth time. On the fifth time, Michael coincides that whoever it is probably won’t stop anytime soon and with a heavy sign he pauses the game to grab his phone. He figures it has to be Luke, the only person who would possibly pester Michael that aggressively, probably because Calum left him alone for longer than 5 minutes and Luke got bored.

“What?” Michael answers with a heavy sign, grabbing his game controller figuring he can probably multi-task listening to Luke babble about whatever’s grabbed his interest and finish his game.

“Well that’s no way to talk to your boyfriend,” Ashton’s voice trickles through the speaker, echo-y and far away. Michael can hear the crackling of wind through the speaker.

“To be fair I thought you were Luke,” Michael saves his game knowing that whatever it is Ashton’s calling about, Michael wants to focus his attention on his boyfriend. In the dim light of his room illuminated by the light of his monitor, Michael can admit that he misses Ashton. They’ve been finishing up the recording for the new 5sos album and while he’s been spending every waking moment with Ashton, he hasn’t been spending time with Ashton.

“You know for that moment I should turn the car around,” Ashton laughs, the sound warming Michael and making him smile.

“Where are you?”

“About 10 minutes away.”

“Ashton it’s,” Michael glances at the clock, “9pm at night.”

“I know but I. Miss you. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Michael rolls his eyes but stands up, going over to his closet and rummaging around for a jacket to wear. He knows that once Ashton’s set his mind to something he won’t be dissuaded, even if it's far too late at night to do anything.

“You saw me yesterday at the studio,” Michael teases fondly, yanking a sweatshirt off the hanger and setting his phone to speaker as he pulls it on.

“Yeah but that was as a band mate. I haven’t seen you as a boyfriend in ages with how busy we’ve been. I figured we could go for a ride together, like we used to. Maybe by the beach? It's a beautiful night.” Ashton sounds unsure across the line. Michael feels his heart warm. Late night drives are something he and Ashton used to do frequently on break, when they’d had free time to go out on dates. They haven’t been able to do anything like this since coming off of the World War Joy tour and it’s sweet of Ashton to remember their favorite date night activity.

“You’re lucky I’m nocturnal babe.” Michael grabs a pair of sneakers sliding them on. He checks his hair in the mirror, pulling a beanie down over his blonde hair. He slides his wallet and keys into his pocket, rubbing Moose’s head as he goes. She looks up from her spot on the bed, but seeing that it’s only Michael curls back up, unbothered by the disturbance. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

“See in you a bit darling.” The line goes dead and Michael exits his house, locking the door behind him and flopping down onto his steps to wait for Ashton. He’s scrolling those the band’s group chat, rolling his eyes at the memes Cal and Luke have been sending back and forth when he sees the headlights of Ashton’s car come into view. He jumps up and darts towards the car, pulling the door open before Ashton fully comes to a stop, and throws himself into the passenger seat.

Ashton’s grinning, leaning across the center console to steal a kiss from Michael. His eyes shine in the light and he kisses Michael quickly on the lips before putting the car back into drive and pulling back out onto the street.

They drive in silence on the way to the boardwalk they’ve come to think of as theirs. The radio’s playing some kind of classic rock song quietly in the background, clearly an afterthought to the drive. Michael grabs Ashton’s hand, intertwining their fingers and pulling Ashton’s hand into his lap. Michael steals a quick glance over to Ashton. He’s glowing in the light of the moon, red hair falling in soft curls around his face. Michael’s missed Ashton like this, soft and uninhibited, looking young like the teenagers they never got the chance to really be. He’s smiling softly, the dimple in his cheek standing out in the glow of the moonlight.

Michael’s heart aches just looking at Ashton. He’s been in love with this boy for almost 10 years and even if they’ve only been together for the last 5 years, Michael feels as if he’s always loved Ashton, as if he’ll never stop loving him. Michael’s watched Ashton grow so much over the years and every day he’s left in awe that Ashton would choose him over everyone else to love. That Ashton continues to love him through it all.

“What are you thinking about?” Michael’s startled out of his head, blushing when he realizes he’s been staring intently at the side of Ashton’s face for the last few minutes, rubbing his thumb over the back of Ashton’s hand.

“What?”

“You look very pensive. What’s grabbed your attention?”

“Nothing I’m just…” Michael glances out the front window, looking up at the moon. If he doesn’t stop now he’ll do something silly, like propose to Ashton. He feels it in his chest, love bubbling over and he’s not sure he can stop himself from saying it aloud. “I’m just thinking about the arrangement we recorded today.”

Ashton glances at Michael out of the corner of his eye. He looks like he wants to say something, like he knows Michael’s lying but he seems to think better of it. He tugs his hand back, maneuvering the car into a space to park and Michael hadn’t realized they’d reach the boardwalk, so wrapped in his own thoughts he missed the smell of salt water and the sound of waves. The boardwalks always made him feel homesick for Australia. He’s always been adamant that he wanted to get out, that he’d felt stifled in their small town, needed to explore the world but it’s times like this, in the late night hours, that he misses home, misses his parents.

Ashton shuts the car off, reaching into the backseat to grab the towel he always keeps back there. He gets out of the car, coming around the front to open Michael’s door and hold his hand out. Michael interlocks their fingers around, allowing himself to be pulled out of the car and down to the sand. Ashton spreads the blanket out and they collapse onto it. Ashton pulls Michael into his lap, wrapping his arms around Michael's waist and resting his head onto Michael’s shoulder.

They sit like that for a few moments, breathing in sync, Ashton’s chest pressed to Michael’s back. Michael’s been rubbing his thumbs over the back of Ashton’s hand where they’re resting in his lap and Michael thinks he could cry from how soft and loved he feels, here on a beach in LA under the moonlight, the waves crashing in front of him and the love of his life holding onto him.

“Hey Michael?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you marry me?”

Michael stops breathing. He literally feels his heart stop and his breath stutter. “What,” He breathes out quieter this time. He’s worried if he answers the question, speaks the words he’ll ruin this moment, this one perfect beautiful moment.

“I don’t have a ring. I literally was not prepared to do this but. I love you. I love you so much I can’t find the words for it and I want to marry you. I want to tell the whole world that you’re mine and that we’re together. I want to buy a house with you and have your dogs’ hair on all my clothing and wake up next to you in the morning with the sunshine streaming in through the window lighting you up, cold because you stole all the blankets like you always do. I want to drink the terrible tea that you make and make sure you actually eat your vegetables and watch you get stupidly worked up over your video games. I want to be able to kiss you first thing in the morning and I want you to be the last person I see before I go to sleep. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. So Michael Gordon Clifford, will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?” Ashton rushes the words out, taking a deep breathe once he’s asked the question again.

Michael thinks he might cry. He feels the love spilling over and his heart, his words catch in his throat. He wants to say yes, he’s never been more sure of anything ever. He can’t seem to say the words, hiccuping around them as the tears spill over. He starts nodding furiously, hoping that Ashton will understand what he means.

“Michael? Have I broken you? Is this where you tell me we have to break up?” Ashton sounds uncertain and Michael can’t have that. He turns himself around in Ashton’s arms flinging his arms around Ashton’s neck, hiccuping around his answer as the tears spill out.

“Yes Ashton. God yes of course I’ll marry you. I love you so much I can’t get the words out sometimes. I want to make a home together and let you put your stupid plants everywhere and wake up in the morning when you get back from your runs and throw your sweaty body on top of me. I want to spend every night cuddling with you and Moose and Southie and watching whatever terrible show you’ve decided was worth our time. I want to make you tea every morning, even if you think it’s too weak and fill the cabinets with chips even when you complain and let you make me veggies. I want you to drag me away from my games and go on late night drives with you and stare at you in the moonlight and kiss you every moment of every day. I love you and I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Ashton Fletcher Irwin, of course I’ll marry you.” Michael confesses, hiccuping sobs into Ashton’s neck.

Ashton grabs his face with both hands, staring intently into Michael’s eyes. Whatever answer, whatever sincerity Ashton’s looking for, he must find. Ashton grins widely, dimple indented on his cheek, pulling Michael in and capturing his lips in a kiss, which is ruined by how much the two of them are grinning, barely able to kiss from the smiles plastered on their faces. Michael’s face is starting to hurt from the force of his grin but he can’t bring himself to care, capturing Ashton’s lips in small quick kisses, twining his fingers into Ashton’s curls.

Michael feels happy, feels full, and he doesn’t think he’s even been happier, will ever feel happier than he does at this moment, on a beach in LA, kissing the love of his life, his fiancee here in the sand, with the moonlight shining down on them.

(Later, driving back to Michael’s house, holding hands again with smiles plastered across their faces, Ashton will tell Michael that he and Calum bet each other which of them would propose first. He’ll tell Michael that Calum’s planning to propose to Luke on Valentine’s Day and that Ashton just beat him by a month. He’ll ask Michael if he thinks Calum will be upset about Cal lost. Michael will say he doesn’t care what Calum thinks, as long as Calum’s lost money will pay for a nice engagement ring for Michael.

“Hey! I deserve a ring too.” Ashton will say in mock outrage.

“You proposed to me sweetheart. According to proposal logic, I get the engagement ring and all you get is the wedding band.” Michael says smugly. Ashton will scoff, but he still leans over the center console to press a kiss to Michael’s cheek as they pull into his drive. Michael thinks he was wrong earlier. This is the happiest he’s ever been, here in this car sitting next to Ashton basking in his love.)

(Michael’s wrong. A year from then, he thinks the happiest he’s ever been is on his wedding day, facing Ashton as they proclaim their eternal love for each other, surrounded by Luke and Calum and their families, ready to build their life together.)

(Michael’s still wrong. Every morning when he wakes up next to Ashton, to his husband, he thinks “This is the happiest I’ll ever be.” But it’s fine. Michael has a life-time of “the happiest he’ll ever be” to create with Ashton.)

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #mashton #michael clifford #ashton irwin #prompts #my writing #wow can't believe i had to make that tag #its been 10 years since i wrote anything damn #please enjoy #calumsclifford

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takonei · 4 years ago

Text

Beta AU - Main story, Chapter 4, daily life (Part 6)

Note of the author: I have never thought one second that this daily life would be that long, I swear.

Also finally reached 100k words lmao

Chapter 4: Dance, dance, hanged puppets - Daily life

Day 16 since the beginning of the game.

8:00 AM.

Shuichi slept like a baby.

The morning announcement rang and thus woke him up from his deep slumber.

... That meant he was late and the others were waiting for him.

Damn it.

When he realized that, he quickly got showered and dressed up before leaving his room.

However, when he opened the door, he realized the rest of those who were there were still eating. He sighed in relief.

Kirumi noticed his arrival. "Good morning, Shuichi. It seems you have slept well."

The violinist rubbed his eyes as he approached the rest of the group. Everyone was there aside from Tsumugi and Kaito. Perhaps they were still getting dressed up.

Not to his dismay, breakfast was rather quiet. It was the calm before the storm. Who knew what horrors they were going to see today.

He simply hoped not to get in the situation he was in yesterday.

Rantaro didn't even do anything to him, why did he try so much to avoid his gaze?

After a few minutes, Kaito came out of his room, limping a bit.

Shuichi remembered what he saw yesterday. The prosthetic leg reveal had been quite a shock, but somehow a welcome one considering the situation he was in.

"Yo." he muttered as he sat between Miu and Shuichi.

"Sup'." Miu fist-bumped him as she reached for the pack of crackers. "You good?"

He sighed, taking a biscuit out of the box. "The usual. The morning phantom pains."

Shuichi blinked. "You have that a lot?"

"It's not that painful but I've had them ever since that day. I got used to it but it's still not the greatest thing to wake up to in the morning." he explained.

The violinist couldn't help but wince. "That's rough."

The biker waved his hand. "Nah, it's fine. I usually have to wait a few minutes after I wake up before it goes away. So for now I'm good."

Shuichi took a bite out of an apple. "I just hope it goes well for you..."

Kaito gave him a thumbs up. "I've been dealing with this for three years, I'm used to it by now. Don't worry about it!"

He smiled.

After some time, a door opened behind him and Tsumugi came out. Since everyone was done with breakfast, it was time to get the locks.

Shuichi turned on his monopad to solve the riddle.

What is there to salvage in a treacherous soul?

Even if they try to reach out for the light, they are deemed to feel the perpetual freezing warmth of Judas' embrace.

This made even less sense to him than the previous one. Those riddles were getting stranger and stranger by the day.

But somehow... He had a feeling of familiarity with this.

Of course, he wasn't Christian, but he had a decent amount of knowledge about it. He played for a lot of westerners and they sometimes talked about their culture.

Judas... He was the traitor, right? Did it have anything to do with the group?

...

Could it be about the traitor in their group? The mastermind?

He didn't know who they even were... Did Monokuma expect him to know?

No, that couldn't be it. Perhaps it was a place that had something to do with the mastermind, but that they all knew.

He thought about the time he explored the academy with Kirumi, searching for potential secret passageways.

And yet all he had in mind was the door in the library.

...

Was that it?

He checked back the riddle. The only place related to the mastermind was the library... Or maybe the shrine of judgment, but he already had to go there yesterday.

However, there was still a second lock to find.

Kiyo approached him. "Do you need help?"

Shuichi shook his head. "I feel like I got this... But mine sounds eerily ominous..."

The therapist sighed. "It seems it is the case for you as well. The first ones were about our past, the second ones were about our current situation and today's ones give me this eery feeling. As if Monokuma wants us to think more about our situation in the academy."

The violinist looked back at the riddle. "Mine seems centered around the mastermind... Or at least a traitor."

The taller man frowned. "Out of all the individuals I've tried to understand, Monokuma is the biggest mystery I've encountered. Nothing in his character makes sense."

Shuichi quietly nodded.

Traitor... Treachery...

...

He suddenly perked up. "Dante!"

Kiyo blinked. "Did you... Find the answer?"

Shuichi looked at his riddle. "I've heard about this from one of the families I've played for! Something about nine circles of hell or something..."

The therapist shrugged. "I'm afraid I cannot help you."

"Something about how Hell is made from nine circles for each type of crime and Judas was at the 9th circle, for the traitors..." he started rambling. "I think the circle was made of ice and it was the deepest point of Hell..."

He pondered for a moment. "Hey... If we consider this academy like Hell... Could it hint at the deepest point of the academy?"

Kiyo put a finger on his chin. "That sounds like solid reasoning. Could it be the basement?"

Shuichi shook his head. "My first lock is in the library... I don't think that's it."

He looked back at the riddle. "Reach out for the light..."

Perhaps...

"... The death road of despair." he muttered. "We did try to escape here but miserably failed... So we're stuck here with the mastermind, or rather the traitor..."

He felt a chill running down his spine by even saying those words. "At least I know for sure where this one is."

Kiyo tried to find the right words. "I do not think this hell is eternal. Even though this is hard, we cannot give in to the mastermind. And even if this continues, I know this group is more than capable of getting together. You all have proved this to me."

Shuichi looked at him for a moment, then smiled. "Thank you, Kiyo."

The two decided to group for now.

The others seemed to have chosen their groups as well.

Miu was back with Kokichi.

Rantaro and Ryoma went together once more.

Tsumugi teamed up with Kaito.

And finally, Kirumi would go alone.

The two soldiers were the first ones to leave as the rest mentally prepared themselves.

...

Not even two minutes later, they all heard the sound of an explosion outside.

Shuichi's mind went blank. He rushed to the door and scanned the area to see where the noise came from. And from far away, he could see Ryoma and Rantaro trying to stand up in front of an entrance in ruins. The structure above the door had fallen, blocking the door. The two looked at the damage, trying to move out the rubble, but it was way too heavy to even be lifted.

They gave up and made their way back to the dorms, greeted by concerned faces.

"What the hell happened??" Miu exclaimed.

"We approached the door and it exploded in front of us. We're not injured, don't worry. We just activated a trap." Rantaro explained as he tried to brush the dust off his hair.

"And the main entrance is locked, by the way. We can't move the rubble." Ryoma added.

Kaito groaned. "Can't Monokuma move out the rubble??"

Kirumi sighed. "I doubt he will be of help here. He is the one putting on these traps after all."

Ryoma adjusted his beanie. "Dining hall it is, then."

"Perhaps you two should rest from the explosion for now." Kiyo suggested.

"I'm not letting a simple explosion be an excuse not to be on the front lines." Ryoma replied.

"Please be reasonable. We're not letting you two activate more traps by yourselves. I can go instead." Kirumi countered him.

"I'm not letting anyone go activate traps alone. I shall go if needed." the therapist volunteered.

The mercenary stared at him. "... Fine."

Kiyo turned to the others. "We'll make sure the dining hall is safe to go through and we'll come back after to give the report."

Shuichi nodded.

The two tall individuals left the dorms.

They could only wait.

...

Around ten minutes later, the two came back, visibly concerned.

"... The dining hall is out too." Kirumi declared.

"What??" Kaito exclaimed. "Come on, twice in a row??"

"Kirumi had her lock in the dining hall, and the second she passed her key, a questionable amount of spears blocked the door to the rest of the building." Kiyo explained.

"Then how are we going to get our lockers?" Kokichi asked.

Kirumi pondered. "There are windows at the pool. I think one of them leads to the gym."

Tsumugi raised an eyebrow. "You seem to know this academy from head to toe. It is quite convenient."

The mercenary knew where this was going. "My duty as a mercenary is to know all the secrets of this place before striking whoever keeps us here. Just like it is your duty as a prodigy to help us find a path to get to the rest of the building."

The girl closed her eyes. "I was not being sarcastic." She started pacing around. "The window is probably closed from here. We'll have to be careful going through there. If we have to break the window, we'll have to find a way to climb up without injuring ourselves with the glass."

Rantaro frowned. "We should get the locks that are out of the building just in case we take longer than expected."

"And search for tools to help us get through the other doors at the same time." Ryoma added.

That sounded like a solid plan to Shuichi. One of his locks was available, in the road of despair. No one seemed to object until...

"Both of my locks are inside." Tsumugi declared. "I understand the need to get your locks, but I will have to get mine as well."

This... Wasn't good.

"We'll still have to get the tools anyway." Kiyo replied. "That way, we won't waste any time going back and forth places and taking any risks."

Tsumugi seemed concerned but complied. "Fine. it's not like I have a choice anyway."

The groups parted their ways all at once not to waste time.

"My lock is next to the love hotel. Since your lock is behind the main building it would be preferable to do mine first." Kiyo suggested.

Shuichi nodded. "Yeah... We should do that."

The two started walking towards the giant area behind the wall. No traps activated on their way.

Strange, but Shuichi wasn't complaining. If things could go their way for once, it was good.

Once in front of the hotel and the lock, Kiyo activated it and the annoying jingle ringed, signaling Kiyo's safety until this afternoon.

But just as it was heard, the lock emitted a strange noise, and the cables linking the lock to the building exploded, releasing an abnormal amount of sparkles.

The ground started shaking. The two glanced at each other and started running towards the exit.

Other traps activated, shooting different weapons at them, from arrows to spears to needles.

Once out of the casino area, the traps stopped shooting projectiles in random directions.

Shuichi panted as he starred at the unreassuring amount of weapons on the ground. "Was that... Normal?"

Kiyo shook his head. "I don't know. I didn't think the locks would react like this."

... What the hell just happened? Were the traps getting harder and harder with time? It didn't look normal at all, it was like the thing malfunctioned.

What that going to be their future from now on?

The two started walking towards behind the academy, more on guard than they ever were. Shuichi felt so tense he couldn't even take a step without having his eyes darting on all sides to see if anything happened.

The walk towards the back of the main building was silent. Too silent. But perhaps it was normal? Was it?

"I feel like the pattern has changed..." he muttered. "We haven't encountered a single trap on our way here, but once we activate a lock a trap does as well."

Kiyo pondered for a moment. "And yet the main entrance exploded. Rantaro and Ryoma didn't activate a lock, as far as I know."

Back to the unpredictability, then.

The two used the entrance in the back.

Unfortunately, there was no way for them to access the rest of the building from this room.

Shuichi put his head in the manhole to see if the lock was there, and it indeed was.

"I'm... I'm going down. I just hope nothing happens, I'm a bit scared..." he admitted.

Kiyo gave him a weak smile. Like he knew things were probably not going to be okay but wanted to support him anyway. "You'll be fine. I'm right here if needed."

The violinist nodded as he climbed down the ladder. The loud steps echoed through the room. His heartbeat was accelerating but... For what? After all, this academy was as nightmarish as the tunnels, right now. It's not like there was a difference between inside and outside this manhole.

He still felt chills looking at the dark room.

Just as he expected, nothing useful was there to help to get to the window at the pool. Not that he could carry, at least.

Shuichi hesitantly took his card out and approached the lock.

He took a deep breath and passed his card.

...

The ground started rumbling.

Of course, something would activate.

He rushed to the ladder and had just enough time to get to the first step before the metal plates from the ground moved, and the floor disappeared.

Shuichi was thankful the ladder was attached to the wall, unlike the lock and the barrels that just disappeared. But looking at the bottomless pit beneath him...

He shook his head and started climbing, a strong grip on the bars to make sure he didn't fall.

Just don't look down. Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall.

He thankfully reached the top and sat down on the rusty floor covered in grass.

"Are you okay?" Kiyo approached him.

"Y-Yeah... I just... Got a little scared down there." the violinist shakily replied.

The therapist helped him get up. "... Let's go. The others are probably at the pool."

Shuichi managed to calm down during the quiet walk.

A walk without traps activating.

Everything felt odd, but he couldn't put his finger on how and why.

They opened the door, revealing Tsumugi, Kaito, and Kirumi... Stacking up deckchairs?

"Mind giving us a hand?" Kirumi asked.

"Are you piling these up to reach the window?" Kiyo looked at the tower of chairs.

"What does it look like we're doing?" Kaito adjusted one of them.

Kirumi looked at the tower. "I'm still doubtful we'll be able to make a stable step stool for everyone."

Tsumugi put a finger on her chin, looking around. "We didn't look into the storage room. Perhaps something will help us."

The mercenary approached the door and opened it. She took a step forward but the second the tip of her boot touched the ground, the entire building started shaking, and a loud noise was heard from the storage room before the shaking stopped.

"What was that?" Shuichi turned to the room Kirumi was standing in front of.

"I think we can forget about searching anything here." she coldly declared.

The violinist approached her, concerned.

An enormous amount of spears had appeared out of nowhere, impaling every single object from all sides. The rubber inner tubes were slowly deflating.

By their size, they could have been useful, but that was out of the question now. A trap activated and now they couldn't use these.

Kirumi sighed. "Fine. I'll see if I can reach the window from here."

She climbed on the tower of deckchairs, and after struggling a bit, she reached the platform below the window and kept herself steady with the pillar. Her height and strength helped her get through this, but it was easy to tell that the others were going to struggle with this.

She reached for the handle and tried to push it, but...

The window didn't move.

"Is everything okay?" Kiyo asked.

"The window doesn't open. It doesn't even move an inch." she explained.

The moment she finished her sentence, Rantaro and Ryoma appeared, immediately noticing the group.

"What... Is happening in here?" the medic asked.

"Window unmovable. We can't access the gym from here." Kirumi explained.

Ryoma frowned as he climbed up the chairs. The young woman helped him get on the platform, although both were struggling and Rantaro kept an eye on his friend to make sure he didn't fall.

The weapons maker himself tried to move the window but nothing happened.

"We're stuck. We can't move the thing from here." he shook his head.

Tsumugi pondered. "Looks like we'll have to break it."

"And find a way to make sure everyone can climb in." Kaito added, tapping his left 'foot' on the ground.

Rantaro paced around. "Do you have anything that could be used to break a window in your lab, Kaito?"

He shrugged. "I have tools in my lab and uh..." he looked away.

"Get to the point." Tsumugi ordered.

"I've got an iron baseball bat in here! Sheesh!" he exclaimed.

Ryoma put his hands in his pockets. "Problem solved. We just need something to get all of us inside."

The biker seemed surprised by how casual he was. "Right..."

Tsumugi looked at the window. "We'll need a rope of some kind. I have a hunch Gonta's lab has something to help us."

Rantaro took a step forward. "Then we'll have to separate to get all of this."

"Kaito and Ryoma will get the baseball bat. Kirumi and I will get the rope. The rest of you will stay here to arrange the deckchairs to make something more stable."

The other soldier didn't nudge and approached the door. "Got it, boss." Kaito followed behind. Kirumi didn't object either and followed them.

Rantaro turned back for a moment and smiled. "We'll get everything as soon as we can, I promise."

A genuine smile that Shuichi missed, somehow. The one he arbored when telling the group that things were going to be okay. The attitude that helped them get together as a group.

Rantaro wasn't just a medic, he was a leader. If he wasn't there, the group would have probably gotten to chaos long ago.

...

And yet he couldn't get the intense glare and the feeling of a cold blade under his throat out of his head.

About a minute after the others' departure, Miu and Kokichi joined them.

After a quick recap of the situation, they started helping in the arrangement of the deckchairs.

Around an hour later, the others finally came back, panting, but with the items.

"I was starting to get worried." Tsumugi looked at them.

"Yeah, well, try to get to a lab when half the tiles you walk on fall beneath your feet! This thing was a nightmare!" Kaito complained.

"Whatever. We got the rope. We got the bat. Let's get to work." Ryoma ignored the bickering. His amount of self-control was astonishing.

He and Kirumi climbed up the chairs, back to the platform.

"Get out of the way. You don't want glass shards in your face." he took the bat that Kaito gave to him.

And after a huge blow, the glass shattered. Several blows later, the window was no more. He also shattered the upper part of the window.

After making sure there was no way anyone would cut themselves with shattered glass, Ryoma took the rope from the mercenary and attached it tightly to the steel bar. He threw the end of the rope back in the pool area.

"We should be good. Can you climb up?" he asked the prodigy.

"I'm afraid I'm not athletic enough to do this. I could do it if there are knots to put my feet on, but climbing up a rope is out of my abilities."

Kirumi sighed. "Knots it is, then."

Ryoma took the rope without complaining and started fiddling with it.

The lack of confrontation he was giving surprised Kirumi.

"... Anyway. Give me the second rope so we can go back and forth from the pool area to the gym.

After attaching the other rope, she started knotting as well.

There was nothing the others could do in the meantime. They could only wait.

Shuichi checked the time on his monopad. 1:00 PM.

He hadn't realized they spent that long finding a way to get to the main building.

Later, Ryoma, who was done with the knots, threw his end of the rope to Tsumugi. "Is this okay now?"

The prodigy started climbing. "I'm fine with it. Although can someone please keep the rope steady? This thing is going to make me vomit from the swinging."

She climbed up as Kaito held onto the rope. "And now we just have to get on the other side. Think you can handle it?"

Tsumugi nodded. She disappeared from view soon after, Ryoma keeping an eye on her. He gave her a thumbs-up before turning to the others. "Tie the other end to one of the deck chairs. It's gonna be easier to climb this way."

Just as Rantaro did as told, the entire building started shaking again. It was like the entire academy was going to collapse at any moment.

And then, nothing.

Ryoma made his way to the gym and yelled. "Tsumugi! You okay?"

She came back soon after at the gym, panting. "The traps are reckless. I feel like everything is going to fall down and there are so many weapons shot at once. It's a nightmare."

"Where are your locks?"

"Third and fifth floor." she replied.

Kirumi threw her end of the rope to the others. "Unfortunately we don't have a choice. Either we take risks to get to our locks, or we die executed."

Tsumugi sighed as she made her way back to the main building. "Wish me luck."

Rantaro raised his hand. "For now let's just try to find ways to get the debris out of the main entrance and the spears out of the dining hall."

They separated.

Rantaro, Ryoma, Kaito, and Kiyo were the main entrance group.

Shuichi, Miu, Kokichi, and Kirumi were the dining hall group.

But just as the violinist's group got to this place, it happened.

A giant explosion was heard by everyone. They didn't know where, but it happened.

The four rushed out, only to see the third floor on fire, walls crumbling.

Shuichi's mind went blank.

Tsumugi. She was supposed to be here.

Rantaro rushed towards the group outside, panicking. "Are all of you okay??"

Kirumi nodded. "We're fine. Is your group okay?"

He looked at the damaged building. "Ryoma and Kiyo are inside the main building. I'm going to get Tsumugi out. Stay here and don't try anything."

He rushed back to the pool area.

What was going on?? This was clearly not normal... Why? What happened?

The wait felt like an eternity before Kiyo and Kaito approached them.

Shuichi's heart was racing. "Are you guys okay? Have you seen Tsumugi? And Ryoma?"

Kaito winced and Kiyo shook his head. "Ryoma tried to get Tsumugi out and now Rantaro is with him, I suppose."

"We have to help them!" Shuichi exclaimed.

Kirumi put a hand on his shoulder. "Right now there's nothing we can do. Rantaro asked us to stay here and all we can do is listen to him."

"But-"

"Please."

She stared at him. "Rantaro and Ryoma are already at it. We're only doing them a favor by staying here."

He looked back at the third floor. It was in flames. The fire was slowly invading the floor.

This academy was collapsing.

Was Monokuma going to do anything?

After what felt like an eternity, Ryoma, Rantaro, and Tsumugi appeared, the latter coughing her lungs out.

"Are you guys okay?" Miu rushed to them.

"We're good. Tsumugi is injured a bit in the leg, but we're fine."

"YOU-HAVE-MADE-IT. CONGRATULATIONS."

The robotic voice of Monodam was heard from behind. The red and green bears appeared.

"Aw... We spent so long building this academy! It's a tragedy!" Monotaro cried.

"WE-ARE-GOING-TO-STOP-THE-FIRE. PLEASE-REMAIN-OUTSIDE-AS-WE-PROCEED."

Two of the exisals appeared behind and the two bears jumped in.

The wait was long. Way too long. They had sat down in the grass, away from the building as the two giant robots sprayed water everywhere.

Since when did they have this function?

No one even wanted to talk. They could only wait.

...

Shuichi was nervously fidgeting with his sleeve.

His heart stopped when he heard a jingle from the speakers, Monokuma appearing on the screen.

"It is now 3:00 PM!"

He raised an eyebrow. Why would Monokuma announce the time?

He turned to the others and that's when he noticed.

Tsumugi's face went as pale as snow, her hands clenching at her stomach. He had never seen her that panicked.

Why-

...

The locks.

Did...

Did Tsumugi activate her lock before the explosion?

A giant crash was heard from behind him.

Another exisal -the pink one- appeared.

It opened to reveal Monokuma himself.

"Ding! Dong! It looks like someone didn't respect the rules!"

The prodigy slowly turned back. "No..."

"Time for the punishment!"

...

She didn't.

She didn't activate her lock in time.

Was she going to be executed?

Shuichi didn't have time to process everything that he saw her ran as fast as she could towards behind the building.

The exisal followed her.

Monokuma was going to kill her.

Rantaro raised an arm as an attempt to block the others.

"Kirumi and Ryoma! Try to distract the exisal however you can while I make sure Tsumugi gets to the death road of despair safe!"

"Wait!-" Shuichi called for him, wanting to tell him about the collapsed floor, but it was too late.

The three warriors ran.

Kirumi had been a bit hesitant, but seeing that Ryoma had gone without a second thought, she followed.

Shuichi panicked. "I have to get to them! The death road of despair isn't an option!"

Kaito grabbed his arm. "What are you saying??"

"The floor collapsed here! She can't enter the tunnels to be safe!"

The biker hesitated, leaving enough time for Shuichi to break free and try to run.

"Shuichi!!" Miu screamed, but it was useless.

He saw Kirumi and Ryoma in the distance being knocked out by the exisal. Not dead, but thrown to the ground like bugs.

And just as he drifted his gaze to the other two, the exisal threw Rantaro away.

Shuichi ran. "No!"

But before he could do anything, the exisal shot an explosive at the prodigy.

His eyes went wide as he watched the smoke fade away.

"Sheesh! You kids can't complete a task, can't you?" Monokuma brushed the dust off of himself.

Shuichi didn't care. He rushed at Tsumugi's side, Rantaro doing the same.

"Tsumugi! wake up, please!" he pleaded. She was heavily bleeding from the side of her torso.

"Shu... ichi...?"

"Tsumugi, please try to stay alive! I'll get my stuff, I can try to heal this!"

"W-Wait..." she clenched at his sleeve.

"I... I know I'm not gonna make it. T-There's too much smoke in my lungs, breathing is getting harder... I don't think... I'll make it out alive. M-Monokuma will make sure that I stay dead. And... I know I d-don't have much time left."

"B-But there's something... I need to do before I die... Please..."

Rantaro looked at her. "No! I can do something! Just let me handle this!"

"Rantaro... Please..."

She reached for her inner pocket and took out a notebook. Thankfully, it wasn't damaged.

"T-Take this. Those are... all my theories and deductions about the killing game... I know some of them are probably false but... Some of them are... Very important... E-Especially my last deductions..." she tried to explain before getting into another coughing fit.

"It was... A pleasure to m-meet you all... I know I wasn't talking much t-to you all but... I'm glad I got... to k-know you guys."

Shuichi could feel tears form in his eyes as he held onto the notebook.

"Please... Get out of this place and... Move on with your lives. I... I know you can do it."

She turned to the medic. "And Rantaro... I'm sorry I accused you so much in the trials. Y-You're smart and I always did my best to explore all the possibilities... to make sure you didn't create a giant complicated scheme. I know you are smart enough to do so. Heh."

Rantaro narrowed his eyes, but not in anger.

"A-And if you are the mastermind of this entire thing... Then screw you. S-Same for you, Shuichi. Besides..."

She bitterly laughed. "I knew the mastermind... was coming f-for me anyway..."

Tsumugi held tightly on Rantaro's hand. "If... The afterlife exists then... I don't want... any of you t-to join me so soon. Alright?"

The medic nodded. "We won't die. I promise."

She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Thank you... for everything."

Her grip on Rantaro's hand weakened. He put his thumb on her wrist for a moment, then put both of her hands on her chest.

"... She's gone." he muttered.

Shuichi's eyes widened. "No... Tsumugi..."

He shook his head.

"Tsumugi!!!"

The others came running, Kirumi and Ryoma having gained their conscience back.

Monokuma was gone, though.

Rantaro stood up and saluted. "Tsumugi. You fought well in this war. Rest in peace, my friend."

Ryoma saluted as the rest of them didn't know what to do. Kaito and Kiyo looked away. Miu had tears in the corner of her eyes. Kirumi and Kokichi looked at the body with regret.

Shuichi couldn't take his eyes off her peaceful smile.

They were going to get out of here. They were going to fight. For her. For those who died.

They were going to-

"Ding dong, dong ding!"

...

Huh...?

"A body has been discovered!"

"Everyone, please gather behind the main building!"

#ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 au #beta au #main story

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kwanisms · 6 years ago

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Warmth REDUX - jjg

RE: I said I would rewrite this when I had some time and I found some time, so here it is. I feel like this is better. I’m more pleased with the ending this time around. Originally, I was going to make you all S U F F E R with angst, but ultimately, I decided to not do that since I have a lot of other stories with angst in them.

So, without further ado, here is my revised version of Warmth.

⤑ genre: Angst ⤑ pairing: Jeongguk x Reader ⤑ warning: none ⤑ summary: Originally a drabble, the ending was kind of pffttt so I rewrote it and I don’t have a summary cause I suck at them. Go, soak in the angst. ⤑ word count: 4.1k (is this still a drabble? Idk anymore lmao)

Meeting Jeongguk was what one would call a “happy accident.” You were lying on a blanket at the local park, the rays of the summer sun extending down to bathe you in its warmth.

Taking off from work was rare, especially for you, but at your doctor's insistence, you had taken a few personal days. Time to spend as you pleased. You opted for basking in the sun, something you hadn't done since you were a young girl.

It was at that park that you had run into Jeongguk or rather, he tripped over you as he raced to catch the frisbee hurtling towards the ground. His toes caught under your ankle and down he went, kicking your ankle as he did.

The pain you felt was nothing compared to the anger as you sat up quickly, nursing the tender joint as it rapidly began to swell. You threw a dirty look at his friends as they gathered. Six of them, all forgetting their friend sprawled on the grass as they squawked about like a flock of birds, each one asking if you were okay.

“Jeongguk, you could have broken her ankle!” one said and your eyes flew to him. He was tall, very tall, with beautiful golden skin, blonde hair, and deep set dimples on either side of his face when he smiled.

“No, I'm not you, Namjoon,” the man on the grass said as he lifted himself, propping his body up on his elbows and looked up at his tall friend. Another man, with orange hair, round cheeks, and bright eyes knelt next to you.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly. You momentarily forgot the pain in your ankle as you lost yourself in his stare. He was beautiful, plain and simple. You didn't think you had ever seen such a beautiful man before.

“Jimin,” another man said fluffing the orange haired man's hair. He too had beautiful deep golden skin, black hair, a sharp jawline along with a pointed side profile. He smiled down at his friend, his mouth heart shaped.

“You're distracting her,” he said and Jimin looked up at him. “Oops,” he said smiling, his eyes turning into crescents. He turned back to you as another man squatted down in front of you.

He had large eyes, opened wide with curiosity as he studied you. His tanned skin contrasting with the green in his brown hair. When he noticed you watching him, he broke into a wide boxy smile that melted your heart.

“Yah, give her some air!” a voice said and you looked up to see yet another handsome man. He had possibly the most beautiful face you had ever seen. Wow, so handsome. His eyes fell on you and his expression changed from chagrin as he greeted you with a dazzling smile.

The last one said nothing, choosing to observe silently, was pale. He had silver hair with an undercut and bangs that fell into his catlike eyes. Ones that turned upon you with great fascination. The slight pout to his lips as he studied your state on the ground.

Finally, the man who tripped, Jeongguk they called him. He knelt down across from Jimin on the other side of the blanket. He gave you a boyish grin before turning his attention to your ankle. “Do you need some ice?” he asked before turning his gaze back to your face.

Your face felt very warm and you suspected the Sun wasn't entirely to blame as you dropped your eyes to instead focus on your swollen ankle. It was starting to bruise, patches of red erupting across the skin.

“I uh. Yeah. I probably should,” you stammered. “I'll grab the cooler,” Jimin said standing and turning to run back toward their things. “I'm really sorry,” Jeongguk said as he settled himself down and inspected your ankle a little closer. He gently took your leg in his hands, and you found yourself enraptured as you watched.

Jeongguk nursed your ankle that day and even drove you to the ER at the insistence of his friends. You were fine. Just a sprained ankle. Jeongguk even paid your hospital bill. Something about his conscience.

He asked for your number after you left the hospital and for whatever reason, you gave it to him. Maybe it was the doe eyed look he had when he asked or the scrunch of his nose like a bunny when he laughed at your jokes.

That summer was the beginning of what you assumed was a typical summer fling. Date nights at the movies or the beach on the weekends. The park during the day eventually ending up at one of your places for the night.

The summer fling soon turned into something more as fall took over the city, changing the leaves and bringing a chill to the air and you traded your sun hat in for a beanie.

Jeongguk stayed throughout autumn and winter too, providing warmth in the form of hugs, kisses, and a bed partner. Warmth became synonymous with his name.

Jeongguk was the Sun on a cold winter day, reaching down to bathe you in its golden warmth. Whenever he smiled, laughed, held your hand or kissed you; Jeongguk made you feel warmed and loved. He radiated heat. He was your own personal Sun.

When you got the call that your grandmother was ill, he was there to keep you warm as you cried into his chest. Knowing she didn't have long, Jeongguk urged you to go see her. You knew this was your last chance so you took it.

You promised him you wouldn't be gone long. It wasn't supposed to be a long trip. It was hard, leaving Jeongguk behind but he promised you he wouldn't go anywhere. “I'll be right here when you get back,” he said in between kisses. He had always kept his promises to you.

Maybe that's why it hurt so much when you came home and found him in bed with someone else. In your bed no less. The warmth he always provided you with now a distant memory.

When Jeongguk realized you had walked in, he completely forgot about the girl in your shared bed getting up to placate you. The other girl grimaced as she dressed in a hurry and left your apartment. You didn't want her pity.

“Babe, wait. Let's talk about this,” Jeongguk said as you walked around the couch to avoid his touch. He reached out for you, his hands that used to hold yours, cup your face, that played with your hair, wiped your tears away, and brought you so much pleasure were now foreign and you didn't want them anywhere near you.

“Don't fucking touch me!” you hissed. You'd never cursed at him before. In front of him yes, but at him? Never. You were his good girl who never raised her voice at him, and he never raised his voice at you. It was just something that neither one of you felt was necessary, until now.

“Get out!” you said pointing at the door. “Babe,” Jeongguk started. You shook your head, tears that threatened to spill finally breaking down their barriers as they streamed down your face.

Jeongguk hated when you cried. He said it broke his heart to see you break in front of him and yet, he was the cause this time. His doe eyed stare caught you off guard before you recomposed yourself.

“Get out of my apartment, Jeongguk,” you stated firmly, much more calmly than you thought possible given the situation. Jeongguk shook his head, tears shining in the corner of his eyes. “Not until we talk.”

You moved to the kitchen and he slowly shadowed you. “Just get out. I don't want you here,” you said pressing your fingers to your temples and rubbing.

“Please baby, let's just talk.”

In a moment of weakness, your cool facade slipped as you picked up an empty mug, his mug, and hurled it toward him. You'd never acted out nor physically attacked him so the a mug flying toward him was the last thing he expected.

He ducked at the last second, the ceramic hitting the wall behind him and shattering into a thousand little pieces, the way your trust in him shattered when you opened the bedroom door. When he stood straight, the doe eyed look was gone, replaced with a look of shock and horror.

Your chest rose and fell as you tried to compose yourself. You were angry and nothing good came from making decisions when you were mad but this one time, you decided you could make an exception.

“Get the fuck out.”

It was a command and it even sounded like one.

Jeongguk packed his things that night and left. Where he went you didn't know. You didn't ask but you assumed with one of his friends. He texted you everyday, pleading with you to take him back. Give him another chance.

You had contemplated it but every time you gave the idea merit, you just thought about him with someone else in the bed he shared with you. The bed you bought together when you said you needed a new mattress. The same bed he told you he wanted to start a family with you one day.

The bed you had found out you were pregnant in.

You remembered the day like it was yesterday. You had missed your period and so you decided to humor yourself and took a test, thinking it wasn't possible. “There's no way I'm pregnant,” you told yourself as you sat on the edge of your bed and waited for the words ‘not pregnant’ to appear.

To your surprise, the words ‘pregnant’ formed on the small screen and you almost dropped the test on the floor. You ran to the drug store and bought three more tests to be sure. When Jeongguk returned that night, he found you curled up in bed.

“Babe, are you hungry?” he whispered as he sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. You shook your head silently. “Are you tired?” he whispered and you shook your head.

“What's wrong?” he asked and you turned to face him, uncovering the four pregnancy tests you'd been staring at for the last hour. His eyes widened in shock as he took in each one showing positive signs that there was life growing inside you.

“Are you serious?” he whispered, eyes dipping to meet yours and you nodded, a lump in your throat forming. You had been so careful. He always wore a condom in the beginning until you agreed to go on birth control.

After your body adjusted, you agreed to go without the condom a few times and it was amazing, feeling all of him inside you without any sort of barrier. He never came inside you, at first anyway. Until you assured him it was alright. The birth control was enough.

At least you thought it was.

Expecting him to panic or leave, you braced yourself for his reaction. You were surprised when his hands cupped your face, a huge grin spreading across his face before he kissed you. Was he… happy?

“I'm going to be a dad!” he said excitedly and you couldn't help but smile as he pulled you into a bone crushing hug. “You really want this?” you asked and Jeongguk pulled back to look at you. “Of course I want this!”

He promised you that he was ready and that he wanted the baby. He was determined to prove he was ready to be a father and he bought all sorts of books for expecting and new fathers. He ready each one diligently.

The pregnancy didn't last however, and you miscarried after 5 weeks. You had never seen Jeongguk cry before. You were devastated. You cried every night and Jeongguk was there to dry your tears, promising to try again. He was there to stay. He wanted to start a family with you.

Jeongguk was always there to keep you warm and calm you down when you cried, but now he was gone. You cried a lot that first week after he left. You cried over your morning coffee, you cried while working from home, you cried in the shower, you even cried yourself to sleep.

You missed him.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months as what was once a warm and inviting home was now cold and despondent. You didn't bother turning on the lights, kept the curtains drawn and opted to work more from home so you didn't have to leave and risk seeing anyone who might ask questions.

Jeongguk was determined. His texts never ceased. He texted you three sometimes five times a day. Once in the morning, again at lunch and finally at night before bed. On occasion, he would text you some random tidbit of information about his day, something he always did.

You never opened his texts or answered the phone when he called. You couldn't at first. You needed space but after a while, it became habit to not answer your phone. The frequency of his texts never faltered. He was worried. He thought something happened to you.

He showed up one night, banging on the door. “Just open.the door, (Y/N). I need to see that you're okay!” You finally relented and opened the door. He looked down at you, wide eyes red and puffy, similar to your own. He wouldn't tell you, but he cried a lot, too.

He missed you, too.

“What do you want, Jeongguk?” you asked stiffly, crossing your arms. His chest rising and falling with his breath, he let out a sigh. “I thought something had happened to you,” he whispered stepping toward you. “Jeongguk,” you warned with a step back into the safety of your apartment.

“Can we talk, please?” Jeongguk asked looking down at you, his eyes glossy as he fought back the urge to cry. He didn't want you to see, even though you already knew. He watched you as you contemplated letting him in, your brow furrowed as your mind raced.

After a few moments, you looked up at him and stepped out of the way of the door allowing him in. Jeongguk crossed the threshold quickly and you shut the door behind him. You crossed to the counter, using it as a barrier between you and him. You couldn't be weak.

“What's on your mind, Gguk?” you asked, a hint of sarcasm to your words. “I need to say my piece. I don't expect you to forgive me or even give me another chance, but I need to say this and get it off my chest, alright?” he said and you gestured for him to continue.

“I love you,” he started and you scoffed. “No, I do. You know I do,” he said pointing at you and you fell silent. “I truly do love you. I made a mistake, (Y/N). We all do from time to time. That's no excuse for my behavior, I know,” he added, sitting on the back of the couch.

You bit your tongue and allowed him to continue, fighting down the urge to snap back at him.

“The truth is, I missed you. I was lonely and you were gone. I had a lapse of character and judgement and brought home someone who wasn't you. I brought her to our home and I betrayed you in the worst way.”

You said nothing as he stopped for breath before he continued. “That's the only thing I can say. You were gone. I have no other explanation. I wanted physical intimacy. There was nothing emotional involved with her,” he said it like it made it hurt less what he did.

“I hurt you, I know I did. I can never take back what I did, (Y/N), but I want you back. I miss you so much, baby. Please, give me a second chance.”

You waited to see if he had anything else to offer. The surge of emotion within you was unforgiving as you went through every emotion you felt discovering him that day. Disbelief: is he lying? Does he mean it? Denial: no. Not possible. There's no way I can forgive him? Anger: how dare he show his face and how dare he ask for my forgiveness?! Sadness: I miss him, I really do. I still love him.

They swirled around within you before you finally landed on one: anger. Your face contorted with fury and you unleashed on him, lashing out finally.

“How dare you,” you hissed. His eyes widened but you weren't finished with him yet. “I was gone because my grandmother was sick. I left because you told me to. My grandmother died and all you could think of was how lonely you were?!” He flinched at the volume of your voice.

“Babe,” he began standing up but you held up your hand. “No. You said your part. It's my turn now.” Like a kicked dog, he sat back down and shut up. You walked around the counter and stopped in front of him.

“How heartless; while I mourned my dying grandmother, you were thinking with your dick? While I cried every night until I left, you were more focused on getting laid?” Your fingernails dug into your arm, leaving little red crescent moons in your skin.

“I never took you for being a selfish and arrogant ass, Jeongguk.”

He stood up and crossed to you quickly trapping you between his body and the countertop. “Not a second went by where I wasn't thinking about you while you were gone, (Y/N). You were always at the forefront of my mind.”

You pushed him away and retreated behind the counter to hide the shaking of your legs. You couldn't be seen as weak. He would use that against you. Jeongguk had become your weakness.

You were too proud to tell him, but you wanted him back in your life. You yearned for his touch, for him to kiss you, for his warmth. You were just too proud to say it.

“Don't push me away, (Y/N),” he said following you around the counter and you shook your head retreating further still, evading him and stepping out into the front room. Jeongguk followed still. “Stop,” you commanded.

You stopped by the window overlooking the city eyes on him as he approached. “I know you still love me,” he said, stopping just a few feet away from you. Your body swayed dangerously as you fought the urge to flee to your room. Lock yourself away where he couldn’t get to you.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave. I won’t look back. Tell me you don’t love me and I won’t contact you ever again.” Your eyes searched his and you were sure he could see it in your eyes. The fear of never seeing him again. Never speaking to him, hearing his voice, seeing his smile, or feeling his warmth. It scared you. You did love him. You wanted to give him another chance.

“If I forgive you, it’s like I’m giving you a free pass. Like I’m telling you what you did is fine and that I’m willing to put up with it,” you whispered, pulling your cardigan closer around you. It was freezing in the apartment. Jeongguk shook his head.

“No it doesn’t. Forgiving me has nothing to do with how you feel about what happened. Forgiveness is about moving on, (Y/N).” He stepped forward bit by bit. “It’s about letting go of the past. You don’t forget what happened or try to cover it. You grow and move on.” Jeongguk stopped as he reached you.

You looked up at him, tears already spilling down your face. He winced, seeing the pain he caused echoed in your face. He would give anything to take everything back. He was the worst kind of monster. He hurt you and he would have to live with that for the rest of his life.

“I…” you froze. “What do you want? Forget the rest of the world for a moment,” Jeongguk said reaching out and taking your hands in his. “What do you want? Tell me.”

You glanced around the room for something to focus on instead of him. His eyes bore into your face as he watched you, waiting for some kind of response. You tried desperately to find the words you wanted to say, knowing full well you shouldn’t be saying them.

“I want things to go back to the way they were,” you whispered, a small sob escaping your throat as your knees buckled. You never hit the floor. Jeongguk caught you and held you in his arms, the warmth of his body coating you for the first time in weeks and you had to admit, it felt good. It felt safe to be in his arms again. “Things can’t go back to the way they were, baby,” he said as he held you tightly. “All we can do is move on,” he said.

You shook your head as sobs shook your entire body. Jeongguk was patient, as always, as he held you and let you cry on his shoulder just as you used to. He was silent but his presence was comforting. He knew what to say and when to say it but he also knew when not to say anything.

Minutes ticked by as you cried. Only when your body had run out of tears did Jeongguk speak. “Give me another chance, (Y/N). Let me come home,” he whispered and you shook your head. “No. Not yet,” you breathed. “Not yet?” Jeongguk asked and you looked up, wiping your eyes as you did. Jeongguk cupped your cheek, eyes studying your face.

“You can’t come back yet. I will give you another chance, but I’m not ready for you to come home,” you said between hiccups. Jeongguk, blinking back his own tears, nodded. “Of course. Just tell me what I need to do,” he said. “I need you to leave,” you whispered.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asked and you nodded. Jeongguk led you over to the couch and sat you down, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “Okay. I’ll go. Text me,” he said holding your hands. “Please,” he added and you nodded.

“I will. I promise,” you said and he gave you a faint smile. “I love you,” he said softly and you nodded. “I know,” you replied. Jeongguk’s parting gift was a kiss on the forehead before he left, shutting the door behind him.

You didn’t give him a second chance because he begged for it. You did it for yourself. If your relationship was salvageable, you needed to know. You still loved Jeongguk and he still loved you.

Deciding to open his text, you pulled out your phone and unlocked it. He had sent you dozens of messages. He was worried out of his mind and it showed.

Kookie [10/04]: baby please. we need to talk. I love you Kookie [10/04]: (Y/N) please. Just talk to me. I can't live without you. Don't withdraw from me. Talk to me. Kookie [10/05]: I miss you. Kookie [10/07]: Come back to me please. I love you. Kookie [10/22]: I need you Kookie [10/29]: please… Kookie [11/02]: please. Come back… Kookie [11/04]: it's been a month, (Y/N) Kookie [11/15]: I hope you're doing okay. Kookie [11/16]: baby please. Just tell me you're okay. Kookie [11/21]: please answer me Kookie [11/22]: it's snowing baby. I miss watching it with you like we used to… Kookie [11/29]: November is almost over. Kookie [12/04]: it's been two months, (Y/N) Kookie [12/10]: there's so much snow out, (Y/N) Kookie [12/12]: (Y/N) where are you? Why aren't you answering me? I'm getting worried. Kookie [12/15]: Just tell me you're safe please. Kookie [12/18]: I’m worried. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you…

Fresh tears rolled down your cheeks as you read through his messages. He really was worried about you and he never stopped checking in on you. You sent him a reply after he left.

You [22:26]: Goodnight Jeongguk Kookie [22:27]: Goodnight (Y/N). I love you.

You knew it wouldn’t be easy, trying again and starting over, given your history with him and what happened between the two of you, but you knew this was right. There would be fights, you were prepared for them. It would be hard to let go of the pain he brought you, but you loved him above everything else and despite everything, how he hurt you, how cold the apartment was in his absence, his visit brought something you hadn’t felt in months.

Warmth.

a/n: Yes, she forgives him and gives him another chance. Why? Because love is stupid and stuff. I hope this one pleases more than the last because I agree with that anon. The ending was crap. I rushed it and I could have spent more time on the ending. Oh well, live and learn. Thank you for reading! ~K♡

#bangtan sonyeondan #bts #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts angst #jungkook angst #jungkook oneshot #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #bts jeon jeongguk #jeon jeongguk #bts jungkook #jungkook #kwanisms

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leaveharmony · 6 years ago

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@namajague Seb, you'll appreciate my ZSJ stories! Lol When Elle & mum & I first found our way to the hotel we had to wait a lil while for Rachel to get there, so we were just standing about the lobby enjoying not being in that fucking taxi anymore. That we'd landed ourselves in Wrestler Central became very rapidly apparent; I forget who we saw first but Tama, Juice and Will were definitely among the first few. I'd known Tana was staying there because he posted a pic of his room on his blog the day before we left, and it matched the website ones, but I didn't quite brace for EVERYONE to be there. EVIL walked past us on the way out in his the opposite of incognito shades and beanie and one of his own hoodies lol. I was gonna say "Do you think he noticed we noticed?" but like, given that Elle & I simultaneously clapped our hands over our mouths and squeeked, probably. Rachel missed a lil of the excitement but arrived not long after (for once we knew where to direct her, as we'd already checked our luggage). We were on the way back upstairs talking about the surrealness of staying in the same hotel as everyone and saying how funny it would be to just end in an elevator with someone, when Zack popped through the doors right before they closed. I remember making a "Just like that," gesture. Idk if everybody else was trying to be cool or whatever but I blurted a cheerful "Hi!" because of who I am as a person. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, looking at all four of us fuckin staring at him. The relief on his face when the penny dropped and he was like "Oh you're WRESTLING FANS!" was absolutely hysterical - idk what he thought was going on at first but I guess he's not used to being recognised in New York lmao. I asked him to please not hurt Tana, which made him laugh. The second time was after Wrestlecon/RevPro day, which was brilliant but exhausting; I hadn't had a crumb to eat since the danish at breakfast around seven and we dragged our asses back to the hotel around 9pm. There was a lil confusion RE what to eat just bc I was so fucking out of it between hunger, sleep depravation and Tana but eventually I rallied enough to stand up and we decided to just go to the pizza place around the corner. Of course, Zack ended up in our elevator lol. "Hi again!" I said. "Thank you for not hurting Tana too much today!" I told him that he was so charming yesterday in the elevator that mum hadn't even realized he was a "bad guy," which made him laugh again - like duck his head and laugh, almost bashfully, it was very cute. There was one other gentleman with us who also had a british accent but I'm not sure if he was of Zack's party or not - but he commented that it was nice to meet people who actually talk in lifts. Zack heartily agreed; it was a pretty short elevator ride but we kept chatting on the way out to the lobby. He asked us if we were just getting in from (or maybe heading to) Takeover, and I said no, we just got in from RevPro because we dashed to the MoMA across the street to see Starry Night before heading back. Zack said it was like...such a struggle sometimes during a trip specifically for wrestling to make time for actually experiencing a place and indulging in a little culture & he was glad we'd managed it; he's a big fan of going to the MET and the Guggenheim but the former is so massive you couldn't do it all in a day. He also mentioned one having a pay-what-you-want day which in very british fashion made him a little anxious because he was never sure what to give, but then he'd see people paying a dollar. In his opinion this is just 'taking the piss, mate' lol. We mentioned we were heading out to find some food cos w/ one thing and another we hadn't eaten since breakfast so we were looking for the pizza place. "Yeah, you're in New York!" he said encouragingly. "Go have some pizza!!" Which was when we parted ways. We saw him one more time out in the lobby before he & everybody headed over to MSG and exchanged waves lol. ZSJ, our bestie from the elevator.

#Zack Sabre Jr #Soy B O I #Rasslin'

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youreoneofthegays · 4 years ago

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Ok lol since Saturday everyday has been a lil adventure ahh

This morning I came in wearing a beanie bc it was cold and said hi to everyone and we started moving some book-table-things outside and when I walked back in I put my sleeves over my hands bc I was cold and my crush was right behind me and she was in such a good mood and she said "awww is someone cold, awww is someone tired, awww did someone not get enough sleep" and teased me and I looked at her like I was mad/annoyed and started whining lol and I told her that today is not a good day bc I lost my rainbow bracelet in bed bc the knot opened up and I also forgot to wear my necklace and then I showed her my bracelet bc I put it in my pocket and asked if she could fix it and she said definitely not but tried anyway and then she asked how I could even forget to wear a necklace and it was just niceeee I like talking to her ahh

We're gonna sell some really cool plant pots on comission soon and someone brought 2 over so we could have a look and they're super cool and I took some pics to post on Instagram and she helped me make the story and she was so sweet again and was like "how are you not in charge of our Instagram" and idkkk like she's different sometimes when a lot of people are around or if it's just the two of us and she's always standing close to me when we're talking and when she's teasing me she always makes really strong eye contact lol

And like this customer came in and asked about books for a 9 and 12 year old and I asked her what you normally ask someone to kinda figure out what kind of book would be good but I have absolutely no idea about children's books and like young adult and stuff and I've told my crush that I wanna have like training for that at some point (from her bc she's just really good) and I knew she listened to my conversation with the customer bc she was like a few metres away and when I told her I'd get my coworker I saw how she started smiling and then she teased me about how she thought I wanted some training and again she made some really intense eye contact lol and I told her not today (the customer laughed too, she was really nice ahh) and then I told her thank you but like more quiet so only she could hear and she said 'of course' in a really sweet tone ahhhh

And she left early today bc she wanted to buy plants and I asked "what you're leaving early again" and she made that joke again about how she knows I'm miserable without her lmao and later she posted a story of her cart at that plant store and I texted her and she texted back and she always uses that 😉 emoji and I'm just weak lmao

I 👏🏻 like 👏🏻 her 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 lot 👏🏻

And dudeeee I missed her so much this afternoon like she left at 1pm and I had 5 hours left without her and it felt like time passed so much slower lmao I'm so deep in lol

Omg and yesterday we talked about little paper decoration things we got from a publisher for free and I told her I thought they were ugly and she was like "whattt noo I think they're prettyyy I wanted to hang them in the window" and I said I really hate them but she's gonna do what she wants anyway and then she teased me again and said 'yeah I will. And you're gonna hang them up for me' (she's still kinda my boss lol) and and I acted annoyed and whined a lil but agreed overall like yes of course I'd do it if you asked me to and she was surprised bc I didn't argue and she teases me about not saying no to her lol

I also told her that my bed is blue bc I thought about buying one of those plant pots and they would match so nicely and she was very idk interested? Like "ohhh so you're bed is blue?" And idk us talking about my bed makes me feel things lmao

#crush #work crush #hot coworker #wlw #useless lesbian #this got long #i just love our interactions lol #it changed love into live and honestly i also live for then lmao #this is also tmi sometimes lmao

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deliverydefresas · 7 years ago

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we push and pull like a magnet do

look at me forcing myself to stay on schedule lmao. not even close to proofread but y’all know that already.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

au: famous!simón meets college!ámbar

“It wasn’t a date.”

“It was.”

“It wasn’t.”

“It so was!”

“For the last time, it wasn’t a date!”

“Honey, he invited you for coffee, paid for your food, you both asked personal questions, he gave you a ride home… he freaking met your mom! It screams date. With capital d.”

Ámbar scoffed. “Freaking? What, you stopped cursing now?”

“I’m trying to quit; I almost said ‘fuck’ when my I.L. teacher asked me a question yesterday, he gave me the death glare and I thought for sure the vein in his forehead would pop and cover me in blood.” Emilia paused, “dammit, you’re a bad influence, I was doing so good.”

She raised her brow, “I’m not in charge of what you say, you idiot.”

“But you encourage me to curse, like the wicked witch you are.” She flipped her off, then. Emilia just puckered her lips up, sending her a kiss. “Anyway, your distraction ends now, stop swimming in your river and accept it; you and pinkboi went on a date.”

“My river?”

“Y’know, the Nile? Denial.”

“Hilarious.” She deadpanned.

“I would slay as a comedian.”

Ámbar decided she’d ignore her best friend for the rest of their lunch. It’d been almost three weeks and Emilia still hadn’t dropped the subject. So, what if it sounded like she had a date? Ámbar had very clear that it hadn’t been one, and she was sure Simón knew it too. Besides, she didn’t like him. Sure, they had fun, and sure, he wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d expected; but never, not once, did it cross her mind to see it as anything but an interview.

Which, by the way, had broken records on the Fab & Chic. Jazmín and Delfi hadn’t been happy at first that she’d gone solo and met Simón on her own, or that it’d been her who he gave the exclusive (that she didn’t know it was an exclusive in the first place) about the band nearly splitting up years ago; but the exposure (and money) other media and fans had given the blog in the last two weeks was more than enough to shut their mouths and be appreciative of it. Thanks to it, Jazmín and Delfi had been offered internships on two of the best magazines in the city, and a potential place for a future job to start their careers.

Ámbar, however, got enough money to pay next semester’s scholarship without her mom’s help. Maybe two more if she worked a summer job, and her dad sent her allowance on time; which he most likely would, since he didn’t have to pay two months of his little brother’s school.

She had thought of sending Simón an e-mail to thank him, or maybe even a card; but decided against it since the dude was, well, famous, and probably received thousands of those daily. The chances of him reading it were slim to none, and most likely than not, it’d go to junk-mail.

Plus, Simón really didn’t strike him as someone who read his e-mails.

“- Mrs. Álvarez.” Emilia caught her attention. “Ha! You responded to that! You must be thinking of marrying that dude and picking your children’s names and everything!”

She glared at her. “It was just a coincidence I tuned into your delirious words when you said it.”

“Nah-uh. Tell me, are you marrying in white? Beige? Are you changing your name to his? Will you have a girl or a boy first? It’s totally a girl, isn’t it?”

“We don’t change names here!” Her best friend ignored her, continuing her ranting.

“I can totally see it. A girl, with fake blonde hair, his curls, your face and his dimples; hopefully with his butt because, no offense, but yours is none-existing.”

“Are you sexualizing my hypothetic child?” Again, she was ignored.

“You should name her after me because I’m awesome. Think about it: Emilia Álvarez Smith. Oh, or maybe like that Mean Girls girl. Huh, Regina Álvarez Smith doesn’t sound that nice, forget I said that. What about a stuck up, bitchy girl? I had this classmate in México and she sucked. Her name was M-”

“Stop naming my non-existing daughter!”

“I’m sure pinkboi would love my names, no worries.”

“Then you have kids with him!”

“I have Benny already, and no offense, but he’s hotter than your boy.”

“You’re an idiot and I hate you a lot right now.”

Emilia smirked. “Now, now, don’t bring out the claws just because you wish your boy was hot like mine.”

Before she could retort with a sarcastic answer like she wanted, her phone vibrated on the table. Seeing Jazmín’s name on the screen threw her off; because she never called unless she needed Ámbar to do something for her and the blog.

“Hello?”

“Can I give your number to Simón?” As usual, the redhead never disappointed with her greetings.

“What?” Emilia arched her brow, silently asking who it was. When she mouthed Jazmín, her friend pretended to gag; she just rolled her eyes at her antics.

Jazmín’s sigh of annoyance was heard through the phone. “He e-mailed the Fab and Chic asking for your number. I’m asking you if I can give it to him since you’d probably kick my ass if I just gave it to him without warning.”

She would. “How are you sure it’s him? Does the guy even use his e-mail?” At this point, the other blonde was gesturing wildly to turn on the speaker. Ámbar just flipped her off.

“I e-mailed his agent and he confirmed it was his personal account.”

What did that guy want, now?

“Fine. But if I’m kidnapped or something it’s on you.”

Jazmín just hung op on her. She had been bitter two weeks ago, and she probably still was. Simón was her celebrity crush, and she was the biggest Rollerband fan she knew of; buttchin trying to contact her specifically must’ve been salt on her wounded pride. Not like she actually cared, but the boy wasn’t some thing, he was someone and Jazmín couldn’t call dibs on him like it was her property.

But, again, she didn’t like him. She just cared for his right to not be objectified.

“Well, goodbye to you too.” She muttered before locking her phone and putting it away on the table.

“What did gingerbread want now?” Emilia asked eagerly.

“Buttchin e-mailed the Fab & Chic and asked for my number. She was just asking if she could give it to him.”

The gasp that came out from her friend’s mouth should be illegal. The girl actually shrieked, “I told you! I fucking told you so! He liiiiiikes you!”

By now, half the lunch counter was glaring at them. “Would you shut up?” She hissed, “he doesn’t like me. He’s probably asking because the idiot forgot to ask for his beanie back.”

“Yeah, right. You seriously buy that bullshit? The dude is probably naming your kids right now.”

“What’s with you and thinking people are naming their kids?”

“Benny and I have. We’re naming one Bernardo and the other Esther.”

“Do you want your kids to be bullied?”

“My kids will be bad-asses, if anything they’ll bully.”

Sometimes Ámbar wondered why she was even friends with her.

She was relieved when she got home. Her classes had gone smoothly, and the workload had been reasonable; but Emilia’s teasing had hit a nerve on her that made her unable to turn off the topic in her mind.

She just wanted a shower, ice cream and a nap. Ámbar knew herself enough to accept that trying to do any work in that moment would be pointless and a sure headache.

Her bed was calling her.

And, according to her vibrating bag, so was someone on her phone. It was a blocked number, so she just let it go to voicemail and went to take a shower; if it was anything important they’d leave a message or something.

When she got out, she had ten unread texts.

Hey Ámbar, it’s simón

As in, Simón Álvarez

From the Rollerban

*Rollerband

I asked Jazmín for your # and she gave it to me, she told me she told you?

If you’re not ambar ignore these messages

I’m not actually simón from the rb

If you are tho please text me back

Or call me

Or something?

“He’s such a weirdo.” She muttered to herself, before texting a simple ‘it’s me.’ It only took seconds before he responded.

Can I call you?

He called her anyway.

“I told you no, buttchin.”

Simón didn’t seem to mind her greeting, as he sounded more amused that anything. “Then why did you pick up?” She didn’t answer, which only made him chuckle. “Sorry, but I really needed to confirm this was your number. It’s not like I don’t trust Jazmín but…”

“She hates me?”

“… It sounded like that, yes.”

She sighed. “She doesn’t. I think she’s just jealous you didn’t ask for her number.”

“Well, she’s not the one who stole my beanie. I have no reason to call her.”

“I didn’t steal it. You forgot to ask for it and I forgot to return it.”

“Sounds like stealing to me.”

“Do you want me to mail it to you or something?”

“Or something.”

“Well that surely tells me what you want to.”

He chuckled again. “One of my friends goes to your uni, and they offered to pick it up for me; if that works for you I can tell them to meet you in your faculty.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier for you to come to my house?”

“As much as I liked your mom’s food and having dinner with you, I can’t. The boys and I are actually out of the country right now, that’s why I couldn’t contact you earlier.”

She was surprised when she felt a wave of disappointment course through her body. Did she want to see him again? Well, yes. But she knew she didn’t need to, and she was obviously not going to ask him to wait until he was back in Buenos Aires. Her pride was bigger than that.

“Then sure. Just tell me when and I’ll bring it over.”

“Awesome! Do you have free time tomorrow?”

She nodded, even if he couldn’t see her. “I have a couple minutes before my noon class. If they can meet me at 11:50 in the square, I’ll be waiting by the fountain.”

“11:50, square, fountain; got it. I’ll text them and confirm it later, alright?” She shrugged it off with an ‘okay’. “So, how are you? How were your classes?” Ámbar smiled.

He stalled their goodbye’s for another hour, promising to call her tomorrow after uni to see if everything had gone alright.

She didn’t do any work that afternoon, but she couldn’t bring herself to care that much.

The next morning, she was next to Emilia with the beanie on her hand; waiting for whoever Simón had sent, and just couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

Out of everyone is this world, she really wasn’t expecting to her there.

“Da-amn.” Emilia whispered as Luna walked their way, the brunette’s grin as bright as the sun. Ámbar forced herself to smile back.

Only Simón would send her ex’s actual girlfriend to pick up his stupid hat.

#soy luna #simbar #simón álvarez #ámbar smith #simbar ff #my simbar ff #sl ff #my sl ff #mine #this is shorter than i'd like but wcyd #sofy

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flockofdoves · 5 years ago

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was trying to think of a way to divide up ocs on toyhouse so i don’t get too embarrassed about them yesterday but then it turned into just trying to list like every character i’ve ever made the vast majority of them i’d never put on toyhouse lol. but this was fun for myself even though i definitely forgot chracters and even whole stories from when i was younger

kinda old (definitely need updating they’re from when i was 17/18 and haven’t done much in recent years but nonetheless are my most recent ocs and i would probably like to do something with them someday still):

all the alienated characters - raul and michael primarily, also side characters like their relatives (lennie, joaquin, marcell, maybe also shinsuke, natalia, nina, naomi, hana, leela, etc) and friends (still need to name them lol) etc

justicia (less set on doing her story any time soon compared to alienated, but still theres something to it i might want to work with someday)

pretty old (like i was 16-17)

gf debate characters (this is actually older than a lot of the ones i list as even older in this list but i kept working on them til i was like 17 so they hold up better even if i don’t want to finish making their story anymore) - isaac, micah (micah is literally kinda from when i was 12 lol but i brought her to like 3 different stories and she was a boy in the first one too so shes basically not that character anymore), and then side characters like mirabel (originated in same story at 12 as micah), ayçin, anna, micahs mom and her wife, micahs cousin (another one from that old story) etc

those ocs that literally none of them have names or barely personalities i only ever did character sketches and basic concepts but its like a ghost story thing i was gonna do - 12 y/o baby butch protag, the ghost girl, baby butch’s trans girl cousin, cousins trans guy friend

really old (characters from when i was like 14-15 that did not really develop much from there. most of these are characters i have had fun with and maybe drawn since but are goofy and don’t hold up in a lot of aspects and most of them i’ll probably never pick up for stories again)

football lesbians - monica, wanda, and rania

pigeon magical girls (technically maybe i actually finished a very abbreviated version of their origin story for a school art project when i was 15 lol but i planned to do more back then and now i dont want to) - zehra, ronni, the pigeon, probably not amy and zoë that was just a cameo for myself of ocs from when i was like 11 lol

naomi’s story (this one i might actually want to do something with someday, i wrote a short story about it plus a bit more, but i have to make some serious changes i don’t really think i thought of some of the implications of some stuff in it before) - just naomi and the ghost basically. not to be confused with naomi in alienated who is michael’s sister they are not at all the same person

assorted characters that never really had a story - mels and cvijeta, charlotte (thought about putting her in football lesbians. she does basketball but. jock wlw you know)

really really old (characters from late middle school, like 13-14)

uhhh that wizards story. it never had a name idk. i still kinda like them though tbh even if i’ll never do anything with them anymore - tess, ali, nataline, brandy, mo, remora, cnidarian

really really really old (characters from the middle of middle school, like 12-13. at this point my recollection of what came before what might be kinda off tho)

that fae folk in pennsylvania and ohio story - emilia, ilana, micah (first version! lol), mirabel, that boy that i just hate and don’t remember the name of and resent making a character that had a crush on micah, micahs cousin, darling/angel (a faerie that just went by terms of endearment as if they were names), uhhh the second group of characters in a different more rural town i tried to write that i dont remember the names of

haunted victorian house story - benji, aisha, elizabeth

updated onex arget (fantasy world i wrote about a lot when i was in elementary school) story - nai, rieae

idk this story never had a name and barely a plot beyond ivy and victor becoming friends and venting to each other - victor, ivy, miles, maitê

forks and spoons (story i improvised with my little cousin who was like 8 at the time lol) - florimundi(?), i’m forgetting literally all 3 of the other characters names lol (maybe reese and victor for two of them??? but maybe not bc those are also other very old characters that idk if i reused the names of)

theo and ted - theoni and theodore (aka theo and ted!), oh also that guy they meet who wears like. a trench coat iirc

super old (characters from the later half of the 6th grade and early 7th, like 12ish)

really dumb story about a closeted trans person with did getting transformation powers - i actually dont remember the main character and their main other alters names anymore, i remember the other character they had a crush on stephan though

all those characters in bands that i never actually could settle on a story for beyond a variety of interpersonal drama. very inspired by the webcomic jenny hanniver tbh - avery, mark, etti, adrian, xavier, pepper, uhhh theres literally So Many more of them and also so many i dont remember the names of anymore but just for some that come to mind. that periwinkle colored hair in a bowl cut character that always wore a beanie who was in avery’s band whos names on the tip of my tongue (maybe that was etti and the character i’m calling etti was called something else?? maybe victoria? maybe andy? maybe andy was an entirely different 3rd character?? idk. actually yeah i’m positive bowlcut character was etti rereading this), xaviers ex-boyfriend who was obsessed with homestuck (lmao), that guy with red hair i accidentally directly ripped off the design of some jenny hanniver character, that goth guy with braces and glasses (maybe he wasnt in this?), that screamo band with 2 lead singers, that guy with brown hair that said he was straight with an exception (msfdkjghhsfd god), that person with the emo haircut in flame colors, this literally is not even all the characters lol

extremely old (largely from 6th grade, like age 11ish. weird period of time where i suddenly wanted to write about romance but thought it had to be straight but then very quickly was like ‘wait actually nvm i have a laptop now and think i’m bicurious i’m only gonna write about gay people)

gsa story (this might have been the summer before 7th actually but it feels distinctly before the other stuff in the last category so idk maybe just my whole impression of when i made things for middle school is off) - emmy(?), allie(?), noah(???), some other kid, i think noah(?) or the other kid got reused to be the guy i regretted making a part of that faerie story who liked old micah lol, maybe more kids, their teacher

idk that kid with blue hair and black eyes with white irises and his sister

middle school lesbians - leah and cass

lesbian who works in food service and there were weird references to comic books but filtered through me referencing an obscure emo humor youtube channel that made jokes about comics i’d never read - amy, zoë, amy’s straight best friend i dont remember the name of??

tosca (this wasnt straight romance but it was like the last thing pre me always having lgbt main characters) - idk. there were two characters i drew like once. theres nothing to note about this except wanting to make it is what made me learn about webcomics

that story i posted the first chapter of on quibblo about a hippie girl (somehow in 2010?? dont ask me) and an emo boy liking each other before abandoning to never write about cishet romance again. didnt even get to the romance part lol - i forget her name. maybe it was april? maybe it was florimundi and i reused it later for another character, nix, reese (her goth lesbian best friend. thank god for reese)

first attempt at straight romance. also about like. idk. fantastical powers in clouds in providence rhode island - selia, shay, cassandra, selias other friend i forget the name of??

ancient (literally elementary school ocs. obviously theres a lot of grades covered here but its just my memory and ability to reference this is so loose idk if i could even try to accurately divide it further)

shadow magic - mezzaluna, her aunt tabby(?), alexa

a, j, & j (barely counts i didnt do anything with them. those are the only characters also)

arine (some of these characters might not be arine characters and just from other onex arget (fantasy world i wrote a bunch of stories in and made a shitty conlang for and stuff) stories but i just dont really remember) - lia, lias sister, dibujurm, that other fantastical creature who was friends with dibujurm i forget the name of that kinda looked like calcifer from howls moving castle but fuzzy not an actual fire (maybe isigo??), emiaelaesa, that obnoxious prince (i think the story was called arine bc that was his name?), the prince’s servant, there absolutely were more

the musical adventures of shiri and don - shiri, don, some evil villain and his henchmen

rosington (there were like no characters besides her. weird junie b jones rip off with nonsensical humor to everyone but me)

that tree prophecy story (maybe set in onex arget?) - nico, emi (?? maybe not her name), their uncle (i forget his name, maybe lester?), their uncles shipmates, that fortune teller

idk some kid that goes on a scavenger hunt to solve a mystery on vacation in like bermuda or something where he meets some quirky girl character who helps him. thats all

i had some characters that started out as me trying to draw characters from the book hoot by carl hiaasen but for some reason then turned into my own ocs and looked nothing like those characters were described and also basically had nothing to do with them in personality and action beyond name after a while. - beatrice and napoleon. this was in a phase where i got a ‘how to draw anime’ book and napoleon straight up looked like a yugioh character his hair was ridiculous

those fake siblings i made up and lied to a substitute teacher in kindergarten about me having 6 siblings because of for absolutely no reason even though i only have one sibling irl

imaginary friends i shared with my brother and then made stories about - theres so many of these, the most important though was chick-chick-chick. who was a very small chick who wore a top hat. and then he had a family(?) of infinitely smaller chicks (chick-chick-chick-chick, for example) the more “chicks” you added to the name

#my ocs #cpost

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yakumtsaki · 7 years ago

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CHILLIN LIKE A VILLAIN. Pleased with yourself, are you, Becky with the good hair?

-Oh quite, though I’d be more pleased if my damn arm would unglitch.

HA looks like it got stuck while you were putting your filthy hands on Wyatt. God’s punishment is swift. Know what else is gonna be swift? YOUR DEATH. Get him, Waylon Fairchild Dementia Raven Way!

-Ugh, no way, I’m exhausted, everyone is in love with me and I just want to be with Draco, ok? Why couldn’t Satan make me less beautiful? IT’S A CURSE

Waylon sis truly don’t even talk to me about curses and Satan right now, this entire lot is cursed and crawling with evil spirits and beelzebubian energies. Ever since we moved here my life has never known peace. Next thing you know snakes are gonna start manifesting in this house physically.

Well looks like the snakes are already here. FRANCES WILL YOU FUCKING STOP ALREADY YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED JOYATT IS DEAD NOW CEASE AND DESIST

-No way bitch, time to suffer. Look at it and weep, look at it with your own two eyes!

First of all I’ve been weeping since yesterday so joke’s on you. Secondly I still can’t believe you did this to me after I generously gave you this whole debonair look YOU’RE THE WORST

-La la la can’t hear you over the sound of your plans crumbling all around me!!

I’m seriously gonna murder you a thousand times. Wyatt what about you, you dumbass bimbo? What do you have to say for yourself?

-Not beaucoup, I honestly don’t know why I’m doing this, it makes absolument no sense! Huhu!

I hate you both so fucking much I might actually vomit.

Ugh my poor Jojo </3 I’m so sorry that your love life has turned into a giant pile of crap.

-Please, who cares.. Definitely not me!

Yeah well that much is obvious! Are you sure you’re alright tho? Because you look, you know. worryingly expressionless and in denial.

-Oh no, I’m just focusing on my new proposal,“Project MKUltra: The Comeback”. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I have to deal with adulterous whores again!

Good, good, pour yourself into your art. Speaking of, maybe it’s also time to pour yourself a refreshing drink?

Attaboy, milk that cowplant, Jojo!

-Hmm this process feels oddly sexual..

Yea, I can tell by your massive erection, jesus, I mean even for you-

-Ew no what the hell? That’s just because Ti-Ning is dead!

Oh ok, that’s fine then!

-YES YEEEEES I FEEL THE POWER COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS

Hard to believe anything can course through your veins with all that ice in there but alright. Now we just have to wait..

..for the cowplant to get hungry again. I literally can’t with Daniel and Gunther constantly picking fights with Jojo’s former suitors, especially since Jojo doesn’t seem to give enough of a fuck to fight them himself. We are family, I got all my sisters with me!

Ugh I keep forgetting Daniel has 9 nice points, what a crybaby. How you gonna fight capitalism when you can’t even fight Wyatt?? MAN UP DAN

Nice, there we go! I’m truly living for Brit’s utter lack of interest in fights happening next to her. Her aspiration bar is about to hit the crapper bc I’m even worse at playing popularity sims than I am at getting couples not to whore around, so the time has come..

TO PARTY HARD, TOGA STYLE. I really threw this party thinking it would be a success and save Brit from aspiration failure, so obviously the time has come to acknowledge that I’m even stupider than Wyatt. Things get off to a good enough start with the profs tickling each other, which everyone knows is the mark of a wild college party!

Ti-Ning, gone but never forgotten.

-Hey Brit, want some Ti-Ning to wash down that pizza?

-Please stop addressing me.

-That’s right, address moi instead!

NO YOU DON’T WYATT. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE

..........................................................................all I can say is LMAO

Wyatt, sweetie, full offense, exactly how dumb are you?

-What? I wanna marry Jojό! <3

Ok. Do you have any recollection of breaking his “heart” 2 hours ago, setting him on the path of a complete nervous breakdown?

-Oh, that was just a bump on la route, don’t be so dramatique!

-Does it count as a win if the only thing you put in the hole.. are your tears?

.....god.

Meanwhile and to the surprise of no one, Gunther is being sexually harassed by a professor, namely Down-With-The-Kids-Pink-Beanie.

-Sooo Gunther, half-alien professor told me all about you, you little ginger minx.. What do you say you and I adjourn somewhere private and I see if the carpet matches the drapes..

-EW forget it, lady, you’re not even in the art department and I only have one rule: no whoring without extra scoring.

Um what about the rule of monogamous dating which you are currently doing with Mel?

-RIGHT that too!

Once again...god.

The one person having a great time at this party is Kevin Beare, who eats half a pizza by himself..

..and then moves on to chips. He legit came here for the free food and didn’t talk to anyone the entire time, which is what I do at every party except with drinks. Live your truth, Kev!

Look who’s back from class and still glitched lolol

-Can you please reset me already, I had to take an exam like this!!!

Pfff grades??? There are so many more important things in life, Fran. Live a little, join the celebration.. party like there’s no tomorrow. CAUSE THERE ISN’T

I’ve no idea what happened here but Tiffany is non-stop bullying this 2006-Oliver-Sykes haired professor. Judging from Pink Beanie and sims professors in general it’s safe to say he deserves it. GET HIM TIFF

-Why doesn’t anyone want to fuck me, Frank? What am I doing wrong? Has Woody Allen been lying to us about hot young women being uncontrollably attracted to neurotic, misogynist, mediocre intellectuals over 60?

Oh great, I thought this party was gonna end as a dud but I see we’re going for full-on disaster.

-I’ve just about had enough of you and your passé casquette, communiste!

-My casquette is not passé, it’s classic!

-LADY STOP TRYING TO GET UNDER MY TOGA

-Aw come on, please? For mommy?

-You should use that line on Jojo where it might actually work!

Enemies, these bitches my enemies, not on my level so they just pretend to be, yes, why do you envy me? Cause I am the MVP, these bitches my enemies ♪

-FOR THE GLORY OF THE USSR

Yea, seems about right. Whatever though, cause after the party..

COMES THE CAKE.

Goodbye Francis, it’s been nice, hope you find your paradise!

-Oh please, SEE YOU IN HELL BITCH. WAIT FOR ME CAUSE I’M GONNA FIGHT YOU THERE TOO

It’s a beautiful morning and our llama friend is back to spread some school pride and presumably some bodily fluids. We almost went an entire day without seeing him but here he is again! GET OUT OF MELODY’S SHOWER YOU FUCKING CREEP

-FINE. YOU’RE GONNA APPRECIATE ME WHEN I’M GONE

Yea don’t worry that day is permanently coming as soon as we milk Frances out of the cowplant. Honestly this fucking llama is the last straw, the time has come for me to take back control of this house..

..starting with getting sweet, dumb Wyatt back with Jojo! I really think the Frances thing was a fluke, I mean W wasn’t in a committed relationship with Jo, he didn’t initiate it and he rolled the want to get engaged to him for the second time after it. So the whole thing = Fran’s + ACR’s fault!!!1 Also and more importantly we have literally 0 other viable options and college is almost done so it’s time for Jojo to put Lemonade on repeat and get over it.

Let’s bring out the big guns!

-Mom! it’s so good to hear your insufferably domineering voice. Did you get my latest murder pics?

-Ha! Yes they are great, thank you mom. Soon I’ll add the french courtesan to my album. Now tell me, in as much detail as possible, how proud of me you are!

-I don’t know how Wyatt is doing, he’s the french courtesan, I’m going to kill him! Are you even listening to me?

-What do you mean it’s probably my fault? Can you divorce dad already, his influence on your brain has been catastrophic.

-Love is a battlefield? Mom seriously. Divorce. Now.

-Ugh yes, I could imprison him in a gigantic safe for a few days instead of killing him, but what on earth would that achieve?

-Well I don’t care about having a husband! Worst case scenario, I’ll just marry Max!

-Yes, Max does look like dad. Yes, he is as dumb as him. YES, MOM, I KNOW. HONESTLY YOU’RE ONE TO TALK

-Well, I have to go now, but you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about. And by that I mean which care home to put you in cause you’ve obviously lost it. Goodbye, mother.

As soon as Jojo hangs up the phone Melody runs over to autonomously lecture him. Nice move, Mel, let’s peer pressure him till he caves!

-Jojo this is an intervention but please don’t mistake it as me actually caring about you. Your bullshit harem drama has taken over the entire greek house storyline and enough is enough, we demand equal airtime. Just forgive Wyatt already, he’s too hot for you and you were literally dating 2 other dudes at the same time and you also treated him like shit and you are the worst and Gunther is the best and he’s gonna beat you for heir. Melody out.

Yes, powerful stuff, thank you, Mel. Now Wyatt, let’s apologize!

-I’m so sorry I kissed Frances, Jojό, I don’t know what I was thinking </3

That’s a great start Wyatt, now let’s try it facing the right way!

-I’m so sorry I kissed Frances, Jojό, I don’t know what I was thinking </3 Also I’m totally planning our wedding in my head you right now.

Ok, smaller steps, let’s get him to not hate you first!

If there’s one thing I hate about ts2 it’s how ridiculously hard it is to be forgiven for cheating, shit is unreal. Wyatt has been apologizing for about 3 years now and Jojo is still furious jfc, it’s legit easier to get forgiven for cheating irl than it is in this game.

-For the thousandth time, I’m so so sorry Jojό, honestly in the dark of the nuit at first I thought Frances was you and then it was too late!

-Yes, it was also broad daylight.

-Well you know I have bad eyesight, mon cheri :(

Wyatt seriously, we’ve reached the point where you’re throwing junk out there, so let’s take a break..

..from this fucking house! It’s date time! Time for dinner and public woohoo in that vegan restaurant downtown, cause I’ve ignored Gunther so hard his aspiration is currently scarlet red. Mel is doing great though, like all knowledge sims in uni, she’s legit never not-platinum. The adorable couple make themselves right at home, by doing literally what they do at home 20h a day. NOT WHAT WE CAME HERE FOR GET UP

-Maybe if we act like children they’ll think we’re under 12 and we’ll get a discount!

-We’re so in sync, babe, I brought my monster trucks with me for this very eventuality!

-Here, let me blow you a kiss, babe. A prelude of tonight’s blowing.

-Honestly, every time you talk, I just see the eggplant emoji <3

I didn’t vomit from Wyatt/Frances but this date might actually do the trick!

-Do you think the waiter is mad that we insisted on lobster in a vegan restaurant and he had to go fishing for it?

-Whatever, babe, we deserve it.

-We really do. I ship us.

-I ship us too <3

Good because I don’t anymore.

Yaas, aspiration problems taken care of! Mel’s shy ass hilariously had a fear of having her photo taken, but public fornication she has no issue with.

-Having your photo taken is unnatural! I’m just using the photo booth as god intended.

Ofc, on the 6th day, god created the photobooth for people to publicly fuck in.

-Wow Mel, my reflection in your sunglasses is so beautiful.

-So is mine in yours, babe.

-I almost wish we could look into each other’s eyes but then it’d ruin our whole look. You know what, screw it..

-..I was gonna wait till we graduated it and were more mature and crap like that, but whatever, babe, when it’s right, you know. Will you marry me, Melody Tinker, despite the certainty that one or more of our kids will get the Komei nose?

-Oh my god, Gunther! I literally thought you’d never ask, because, let’s be real, you’re a gigantic slut.

-These days are gone, babe, I’m a changed man!

-This ring has been in my family for half a generation, ever since my mom stole it from Florence Delarosa who was obviously never gonna need it.

-Oh it’s beautiful and the fact it’s stolen makes it even more precious!

It’s morphin time! Let’s pretend the red around Gunther’s memory signifies passion and not a crippling fear of commitment. Congrats you gross, crazy kids!

It’s also morphine time, cause damn are we broke as shit. In hindsight perhaps we shouldn’t have gotten the lobster.

We return home, where I’m trying to fulfill Jojo’s longstanding wish to see Ti-Ning’s ghost but apparently Ti-Ning is an even bigger asshole dead than he was alive. Bitch seems to be deliberately refusing to scare Jojo, I mean we’ve been standing around playing ghostbusters for like 4 hours now and it’s just not happening-

-but some scary shit IS happening inside. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS.

-What!? We’re just talking about our mutual interest in entertainment.

Brit seriously, don’t make me kill you cause I’ll do it, I’m kinda on a roll here and completely exhausted from this fuckery.

-Gawd, fine, I’m gonna go to sleep.

GO TO A DIFFERENT BED. I’ve noticed a sudden and disturbing reappearance of slutty wants in Gunther’s panel immediately after the engagement, which I’m guessing is some kind of regression back to his usual pattern, like he’s rolling wants to woohoo 10 sims and makeout with another 20 and idek. It’s extremely pissing me off and it’s also extremely not happening.

I JUST SAID IT’S NOT HAPPENING. FUCKING STOP IT.

-We’re just friends!!! Paranoid much?

CAN YOU BLAME ME

Look here, THIS is the distance I wanna see between you two. It’s also NOT the distance I wanna see between Wyatt and Jojo, man this apology shit is taking fucking forever UGGGH

-Jojό, are you still mad at me?

-What do you think?

-No?

-Guess again.

-No?

-Ugh.

-Oh Jojό, I know you hate me but I’m gonna keep apologizing for the rest of ma vie, cause I really have nothing better to do. And also because je t’aime, Jojό. Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold cœur?

YES. FUCKING FINALLY. I HEAR HEARTS I HEAR HEARTS!!!!!

THEY’RE JUST NOT COMING FROM THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!11

KILL ME. I WILL PAY SOMEONE TO KILL ME. DON’T TELL ME WHEN YOU’RE COMING JUST SHOW UP AND DO IT. TAKE MY CAT ON THE WAY OUT AND FIND HIM A GOOD HOME. I’M DONE.

#ts2 #union legacy

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smileymyungjun · 7 years ago

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Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (I’m not tagging anyone, you can do this if you’d like to!! :) )

I was tagged by @hongbins-wife (thanks, Vero)

Answers under the cut!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Sweet Tea! (extra sweet ‘cause I’m trashy) 2. Phone call: it was either my mom or my boyfriend, I can’t remember 3. Text message: it was also the Romeo group chat (I have it named as “A Mess™”) 4. Song you listened to: Never - Produce 101 Season 2 Ver. 5. Time you cried: Yesterday lmao school was stressful and it has only been two days HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I haven’t actually kissed someone romantically because I’m not big on physical contact... oops... 8. Been cheated on: Nope. I’ve only really been in one long relationship, and it is the one I’m currently in. 9. Lost someone special: Yep. Loads of times. Whether it be a relative or a friend. 10. Been depressed: oh yeah, definitely. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah I haven’t really had alcohol and I’m not in a rush to have it either LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Red, like a soft or pale yellow, and probably Ocean Blue. IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yep! (that Romeo/more multi tbh gc is The Shit™ okay??? I love them all sm ;;) 16. Fallen out of love: If you think of like kpop groups, then yeah. 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep (lunch table, last school year towards the end) 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah, my boyfriend’s nasty ex. Trying to spread stupid rumors about us and our friends with one of my ex-best friends who left us to spread rumors and date the nasty ex :’) gotta love when that happens. 19. Met someone who changed you: sort of? I don’t change a lot about myself unless I really need to. 20. Found out who your friends are: Yeah :/ some are still here, others are not. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t really use Facebook, so no.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: When I had one I knew all of them cause I was like 14 lol besides maybe one or two I knew from a different state 23. Do you have any pets: A cat at my Mom’s and two dogs at my Dad’s! (and I visit my older brother’s place a lot, who has two dogs, a cat, and two fish) 24. Do you want to change your name: I like my name :) I couldn’t imagine myself being called anything else tbh 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I just sat around until my older sister came over to throw a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup at me. Oh, I also called my Dad! (my mom and older siblings had work, so we couldn’t do much. We did have cake when the next month came up :) ) 26. What time did you wake up: 4:30am I accidentally fell asleep at 5pm yesterday... 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping lol 28. Name something you can’t wait for: This last high school year to be over with because of how stressful it already is 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Thursday? She was gone for work today and I hadn’t left my room to see her, and then yesterday I slept before she got home. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: not really anything? I haven’t had the easiest life, but I feel I wouldn’t be where I am now if it hadn’t been that way. 31. What are you listening right now: Skyfall by Adele 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: One of my neighbors is named Tom, so yeah. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Seeing fans either crowding idols in public places or sexualizing idols especially minors 👀👀 34. Most visited Website: Probably Youtube, but Tumblr is a close second.

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: I have some moles, and then I have some scattered beauty marks (also moles but smaller? I guess? they’re basically the same thing) on my arms and face. 36. Mark/s: yeah, cat scratches. 37. Childhood dream: becoming a Pediatrician (I was and still am a weird kid) 38. Haircolor: Like a light/medium brown (fun fact: I was blonde until 7th grade and then my hair got dark really fast) 39. Long or short hair: it is a little long right now, but I’ve had it short before and liked it :) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I mean yeah, I have a boyfriend so I’d hope so. 42. Piercings: I had my ears, but they kinda closed up years ago. 43. Bloodtype: I have no clue rip 44. Nickname: My mom calls me Beanie/Bean, and my bff calls me “space trash” so that’s about it 45. Relationship status: currently dating someone! 46. Zodiac: Pisces 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: I really like Criminal Minds 49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: Left Handed ;)) 51. Surgery: Oh yeah, I broke my leg when I was in 5th grade oops hehe 52. Hair dyed in different color: I have never dyed my hair, but I have thought about it! 53. Sport: I was in Marching band for two years, and a looooong time ago I did cheerleading for like 5 years 55. Vacation: I go to my dad’s every summer and he lives around 5 1/2 hours away 56. Pair of trainers: I have a few pairs of shoes? If that is what this means? A pair of “Sunset Orange” Converse (think Creamsicle color), a pair of Galaxy Vans, a pair of plain black and white Vans, and then a pair of MIA Boots. MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Currently: Chinese food 58. Drinking Currently: Broth from soup if that counts 59. I’m about to: watch youtube to procrastinate from doing homework 61. Waiting for: the time for me to be able to sleep again 62. Want: less homework tbh 63. Get married: I’m not looking for any of that any time soon if I do. Not something I really see myself absolutely needing to do... 64. Career: I want to go into Astronomy! (maybe Astrophysics but we’ll see) WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: neither oops 66. Lips or eyes: definitely eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Taller (I’m barely 5′3″ everyone is taller than me) 68. Older or younger: older for now 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t really care tbh 71. Sensitive or loud: both? 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: more hesitant, but troublemaker works too. HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no, and I probably won’t ever. 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lost my first pair of glasses in a torrential downpour at Disney World... 77. Turned someone down: yep 78. Sex in the first date: I can’t even kiss my boyfriend, so no. 79. Broken someone’s heart: I mean, he did like me quite a bit, so maybe..? 80. Had your heart broken: yeah like multiple times because some guys are just assholes but it is okay now 81. Been arrested: nah I am too much of a wuss to do anything 82. Cried when someone died: oh yeah definitely 83. Fallen for a friend: a little yeah DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes and it depends on what 85. Miracles: not a lot 86. Love at first sight: Not really 87. Santa Claus: lol nah 88. Kiss in the first date: no, wait until you’re both comfortable. 89. Angels: maybe? OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: I have two, and surprisingly both of them are named Taylor F. lmao 91. Eyecolor: hazel 92. Favorite movie: the Tim Burton version of Alice In Wonderland

#tagged #personal

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she-rules-her-own-world · 6 years ago

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Stuff I want to tell you

Idk when I will post this. So I'm gonna start labeling days. Idk if you will read this. But it's gonna be stuff that I was excited to learn.

5/31/19 (day 1)

I bought two cords today. An vga to HDMI and a VGA to display port. And the display port one works! I can plug my surface into the old af monitor!!! It worked, it was awesome!!! I was so excited to tell you that I have a cord for our surfaces to connect to old electronic stuff. :). However the VGA to HDMI cord didn't work for the switch. I'm not sure why but it wasn't. And it didn't work for my mom's computer. So that sucks :/ but whatever I will return the HDMI cord. Lol I also learned that you can't plug a VGA to HDMI converter into a computer that has a VGA port... Lmao. It shuts the computer down. It didn't shut down just mine. It shut down my dad's too.

I don't work till the evening tomorrow. But I get to go in in the morning and take photos. :). I'm excited. Lol. I get more hours at work.

I bought wine today. Arbor mist sangria and Merlot. The blackberry Merlot was really good.

My dad made me a Paracord strap for my camera. So I don't have to wrap the one around my wrist. It looks like a bracelet but it connects to the camera!! It took a lot of fanagaling to get it to work lol. But dad and I are both problem solvers so it worked out in the end!! It almost didn't.

6/1/19 day 2

I woke up yesterday at 5 not being able to breath. Like a tight chest. And it sucked. I'm having it a little bit again today. I was told that it's probably anxiety and that doesn't surprise me. I'm stressed about moving out there. Taylor said I shouldn't worry about it. However she told me that if we break up that I shouldn't move out there. I don't really have that option.

I still think that you would rather be with her than me. So I'm not looking at a very bright outcome. Woo. :(

It was ridiculously slow at work today... they told me not to come in, but if i really wanted the hours they would have found something for me to do (aka dusting... something that i shouldnt do because i like breathing) so i didnt go into work.

I started reading the man who only loved numbers. I really liked one quote from it because i thought it definitely was you.When asked how Graham had so much time for what he did he replied “There are a hundred and sixty eight hours in every week.” i like graham. I also really like Erdős lol

i dont know what to do with my time. idk who to talk to. I feel bad for messaging taylor with little stuff that i found funny ( “ When did the misfortune of birth overtake you?”) idk about being nerdy with you because you appreciate it. anybody else i feel like im bugging them... :/

I still cant post this... it would be breaching no contact... because technically it would be contact... I guess we should have clarified that... I want to post it. I want you to read it. but idk if either of those will happen before the 30th... maybe i will post it on my birthday... it will be my way of contacting you. I want to talk to you then... but idk if thats a good idea... I told taylor about me worrying about you getting back with her, and she was like i dont think that she will accept him back if he wanted to... but who knows.

I was gonna read time travelers wife and then decided that probably wouldn't be a good idea in my given situation.

I guess I should also say that I haven't been wearing the rings since Wednesday? Yeah. The first day of so called break.

Its been weird not wearing them... :/

If we come back together. I think we should start a new. But idk if that can really happen. Once I'm comfortable with somebody the only way I become uncomfortable around them is through a terrible break up. Which I'm still scared is going to happen. I'm scared you are going to go back to her. At the same time I'm scared I'm almost sure of it that you will. I'm mind washing myself so if you choose anything different i will be overjoyed. But if you choose that path i won't be devastated but understanding and probably still super sad. :(

6/2/19 (day 3)

Everytime I come on here. I hope you posted. I don't know what I want. Lol. I don't want to see you post but at the same time I do. I want to know what's going on in your mind.

Also every time i come on here I think fuck it. I will post it today. And thats been the past three days. I think I will post it on my birthday. But that is still 3 days away. I want to talk to you that day. But idk if I should... :/

We went to Midland today. I bought a beanie boo that I didn't know what it was gonna be. It was a little statuette. I was hoping for the panda. I got a monkey instead and he is adorable af. Lol.

6/3/19 day 4

I went to work today. It sucked. So many phone calls. I got to take a break and talk to Taylor for a little bit though. I love her so much.

She was telling me that her and Craig are going through a rough patch too. But they are gonna take it slower. But she doesn't know what that means and she is freaking out. Lol. But I think they are gonna be fine. I feel so bad for her. Mostly because idk how to help her.

She told me that you are doing better. But that was it. Lol she said you were vague. Which doesn't surprise me. Because you know she is gonna talk to me. It kinda worries me that you are doing better. It worries me because it makes me think that you want to go back to her. Which may not actually be the case. I told one of my coworkers part of this story and they were like she probably isn't going to want him back.. and then you would come to me and I would be second choice again. So if that were to happen. Don't tell me. I don't want to be with you if you would rather be with her. That isn't fair to me. I want you to be happy. And I know you would be happy with either of us. I keep pushing you to her. Idk what that means for me. I'm not sacrificing my own happiness for your. I'm sure I will find somebody else. But it won't be the same. Taylor jokingly said we should get together.(like Taylor and I) And I agreed lol. We are better together.

I regret how this turned out. I'm not regretting the whole thing. But the presense of me ruined a relationship. I regret that. You were happy. I regret the stepping Stones that led to this disaster. I like this disaster. But I don't think it should have happened the way it did. And that's what i regret.

6/4/19 day 5

I'm gonna post this today. Will you read it? Idk. I would hope so. But I know in posting this it will affect you in some way. I want you to know what's going on in my head during this break lol.

I made my birthday cake today. It's a summer sangria cake. I think it turned out fairly well lol.

I'm so tired and I hate it. Idk why. I'm always sleeping. I think it's because I'm bored. I colored the other day. I know you saw this. Lol. Because you liked the post. I wasn't sure that liking posts on instagram was no contact. Taylor agreed with me that it is contact. But we never really had any terms for no contact. Just for the break. Did she tell you that her and Craig are basically going through the same thing. It's crazy. But they are still talking. They are taking it slower. They don't think they love each other. (Taylor does but she isn't going to tell him). They think they rushed their relationship... Idk.

I dislike being at home. I miss the city. I miss being busy and being able to walk places... Soon enough I will be.

I don't remember if I told you but I haven't told my parents/sister in fear they are gonna talk me out of moving there... I think I told you that...

#day one #day two #day three #day four #i hate this #i miss you #im trying #i love you so much #day five

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remembermemorablememories · 7 years ago

Text

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

post #176

main points:

- more productive day than yesterday. all build issues were resolved by other people... sigh. but i got unblocked and could make progress

- BBQ lunch

- design doc meeting

- working on 2 new PRs

- melee tech grind

- sushi dinner with fiona

- binging a bunch of david dobrik vlogs

(writing on july 4)

today i:

- woke up at 8:15am ish. snoozed until 8:30am. cleaned up my hair and ubered to work

when i got out of the uber, my left leg was wet... the front seat was wet and the driver didn’t tell me >.> sigh

or maybe some previous passenger had sat there and it was wet. i was annoyed but i had jeans on so it wasn’t too bad

- ate breakfast real quick and then went upstairs around 9:30am. contacted some people who wrote the code that was bugging out on my connection issue between my iOS simulator and my backend server. they said they just pushed a fix this morning. after i resynced, low and behold, everything worked... LOL. i still couldn’t log into the app due to some connection issue but everything else was fine. i basically wasted all of monday struggling with these build issues that were no fault of my own

- verified the optimistic iOS stuff from last friday (as much as i could do without being logged in). started to put together changes for my next two PRs, they were small UI changes to a button (all caps) and an undo logic

- grabbed BBQ lunch downstairs, since it was the day before july 4. i headed down with lillia and then we bumped into john and ate with him out on the patio. we got hot dogs and burgers and then realized the actual good stuff was at the next table... like ribs and wings and stuff. rip. it was a long continuous line around the patio for the food so we waited all that time for just normal hot dogs and burgers. also when i tried to put ketchup on my burger, the ketchup bottle was explosive and fired onto my sweatshirt... sigh. i went inside to wash it out and then finished lunch with john and lillia

- went back to my desk to do wrap up the UI change and begin thinking how to unit test

- went to another design doc meeting with xueyan. we ironed out all the details and cleaned up the doc so that it was finally ready. i think we did a pretty good job

- went back to trying to unit test, but realized that there was no need since there were existing UI tests. added another PR for undo logic. there were some failing tests here and there, so that took a while to iron out

- started looking into learning how to inject stuff into an existing iOS dialog. like where and what i would need to do. i’ll probably look into this later

- around 6:30pm, i went downstairs to practice tech grind on melee. i did a bunch of wave dashing, wave landing, and ledge hogging/ledge attacking. and trying to get more into the habit of jumping with x. it was a good session i think

- i practiced until like 7:30pm ish. then went to sushi dinner with fiona. it was the same place we went to last week. she forgot her wallet so i covered dinner LOL. she said she’ll cover it next time. i hope we become regulars at the place, i’ve never been a regular at a restaurant before. i got the donburi which was what she got last time. it was aight...i couldn’t finish it and took the rest to go. she got some sushi. i think the waitress recognized us cause she thought i got the donburi a second time (but i got the udon last time) and was like “get something else next time!” lmao. it was a chill time, we talked about marvel, paul rudd, tech interview grind stress, and other random stuff

- fiona helped give me a ride home and then once i got back, all of my amazon sweg arrived. so i got the pink sweatshirt, beanie, and red adidas. yesterday i got the adidas pants and some plain t shirts. i tried some of it on to see how it looks. i think it looks weird on me but maybe that’s cause i’m so used to my normal outfits lmao

- showered and watched a bunch of david dobrik’s vlogs until like 12:30am. i was watching them from like july 2017 ish. and some of june. this man is a genius, the vlogs are always so funny lmao

that’s about it

the end

#post #july #2018

0 notes

justintimbershit · 7 years ago

Note

1-100

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

helllll ya there is for the first time in the history of me answering these questions.

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

i dont recall the last person who hurt me so probably

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

a fuckin cat?

4: What’s something you really want right now?

i want the bf to be home bc i should be sleeping in his bed rn cuddling w him :(

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

in some ways yes but in some ways no

6: Do you like the beach?

nah fuck the beach. i fuckin hate the same and the heat and the grossness of the water and the people and just everything about the beach

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

ya i dont know if we've ever slept slept but like, ive cuddled and half napped on the couch w someone else

8: What’s the background on your cell?

lock screen me and the bf home screen my puppy

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

my own, bretts, probs my bed at home, and my bed at my moms

10: Do you like your phone?

ya its decent

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

eh thats kinda hard to answer bc i didn't have much planned but i think things may be going better than planned idk

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

umm.. . idk i need to add new coworkers numbers so it'll be them soon

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

rottweiler !!!

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

i believe emotional bc it fucking sucks and it usually doesn't heal v fast :(

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

hm i really like animals but zoos kinda make me sad but animals are so cute ahhh. but i also like art so idk man. both.

16: Are you tired?

always and forever my dude

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

lmao since the beginning of the school year

18: Are they a relative?

no its my schools emergency service

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

i dont have any exes so no

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

im texting him rn but i last talked to him face to face yesterday at like 9:30am when he dropped me off :(

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

HONESTLY idk probs not im in college but i have v strong feelings ya know

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yes pls always for very many more times

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

i have zero. not even a hair tie

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

nah not really

25: What’s on your mind?

i miss my boyfriend and i want him to come home and im kind mad bc hes fucked up my sleep schedule so bad bc its only 9pm and i feel dead but i want him home :(

26: Do you have any tattoos?

no but yo quiero

27: What is your favorite color?

turquoise

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is in so many days but its fine

29: Who are you texting?

my bf and a couple friends

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

i have indeed

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yes all the time

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

i do. one or two

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

i hope my boyfriend does bc hes dating me :/

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

yes people have which is weird bc i dont

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

id be so fucking sad. the very saddest. my heart would actually break.

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

technically yes but i was on my first date w my boyfriend so

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

we r in a relationship

38: What do your friends call you?

julie

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

yes im like...constantly upset and sometimes its not caused by someone but ya know

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

lmao oh ya dude

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

i had like 2 or 3 mysterious tiny bruises on my thighs last week idk

42: What is it from?

no idea tbh

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

right now. i dont wanna be in my dorm room i wanna be in mY BOYFRIENDS BED

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mother

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

ya i recently bought a pair of chelsea boots and ive only worn them once but i love them and thats the kinda person i wanna be ya know?

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

nah i only wear beanies in the winter to keep my head warm

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

nah my hair is my security blanket

48: Do you make supper for your family?

nah. sometimes i buy brett food from the c-store w a meal swipe if that counts (it doesn't)

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

it does indeed

50: Top 3 web-pages?

twitter, netflix, idk google, or moodle

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

i hate shopping depending on the kind of shopping

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

my head and my eyes and my ankle

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

:( so hard lol :(

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

uhhhhhhh idk great question

55: How is your hair?

long and in need of a haircut

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

turn my alarm off and check my phone

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

id like to think so

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

yes bc i was like 9

59: Green or purple grapes?

i like both but probs purple

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

yesterday when the bf dropped me off :(

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

with my BOYFRIEND

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

whenever i get a text back

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

probs in bed

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

sleeping still i think

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

uuhhhh it think pawel idk

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

yes i enjoy those ppl very much:)

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

i hugged molly and jess

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

probs something along the lines of “god i fuckin hate my roommate pls shut up”

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

uuuuuh every minute of my life

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

so many bc i have a research paper due soon and im doin research

71: How many fingers do you have?

all 10

72: What is your ringtone?

idk its like the classic telephone

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

still 19

74: Where is your Mum right now?

probs at her house but idk

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

probs bc i thought i was in love when i was like 9 and thats not how it works

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

yesssss !!:)):):)):)):)::)):):)))

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

for the most part despite not talking as much bc college

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

uuuuuuuuhh no. who tf do i look like

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

yes multiple ppl

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

yeee me gusta

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

one

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

lol ya

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

i was but he already went to sleep :(

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

probs lex or julia

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

nah boi lets do drugs together. only the weeds tho.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um im pretty sure it was a first date and it wasn't all that great but that boy introduced me and my current bf so worth it

87: Who was your last received call from?

my mommmmma

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

honestly probs :(

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

happiness and money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

yes it sucks

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

depends on the weather

92: Do you get along with girls?

i do indeed

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

eh i dont really think so

94: Does sex mean love?

nope

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

not at all

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

sometimes but not all the time

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yeeees:):)))

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

uuuh idk man maybe

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

my boyfriendddddd

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