#I thought connections to the Path were Possible

[copperhawks]

She IS his squire at the time and so theoretically that could be why he goes, but I feel like it's pretty clear that that's not why he does it. He does it because he's in love with her, because she personally means something to him, rather than simply because he has a duty to protect her. He probably explains it away as her being his squire and so he has a duty to her, and that might be a small percentage of it, but it's not the REAL reason behind his choice. Would he have done it still if he didn't know she was a girl? Maybe, they were obviously close friends before this, but then that still makes it more about Jon's personal feelings for his friend than it is about his feelings of duty towards his squire.

Whereas with Kel, when you hear the other characters discussing why she did what she did, it's always about "You gave her a job and she took it dead serious because that's who she is and then you asked her to ABANDON that job and thought she'd go along with that." She obviously DOES personally care about these people, but the explanation generally given for why she's so willing to give up everything to save them is because her duty as a leader means more to her than anything else.

It's also just... something that's in character for both of them.

Jon is someone who IS driven a lot by his personal feelings towards people he cares about. We see this a LOT in his relationship with Alanna in particular. Jon also has this sense of divine justice, a pre-ordained path, that guides him a lot. He believes he and Alanna are connected by the gods (and he's not, you know, entirely wrong about that) and that's a MAJOR reason why he even begins that relationship at all. He goes to the Black City because he believes he's MEANT to go there and defeat the Ysandir (and, again, he's even entirely wrong about this). His sense of duty is something that comes LATER and is more obvious in his characterization in Kel's series than it is in Alanna's. So when he goes to save Alanna, he does it because he loves her, and he does it because he believes they have a destiny together.

Whereas Kel is often someone driven by a sense of duty from the very beginning. She goes around beating up bullies because she believes it's a knight's job to do so, not because she personally cares for the people being bullied. She goes up to the Needle to save Lalasa (and possibly giving up her chance to be a squire) because she's been told that a good noble takes care of their servants rather than asking someone else to do it for her. She joins all of the jousts for the same reason she got into fights with bullies during her page years. So when she gets to the fort and is put in charge of these people and then they all go missing, it is fully within her character to go after them primarily because she believes it is her duty as the commander of the fort to make sure they're safe again. This is something about Kel that the narrative has built up over the last several books.

So while Alanna IS Jon's squire at the time that he goes to save her, I don't think the narrative supports that his actual motivation for going to save her is BECAUSE she's his squire as much as because she's his friend, because he loves her, and because he believes in their destiny together.

The funniest thing to me about Kel, and maybe one of the most interesting because of how understated it is, is that Kel becomes a good commander in the end, not by emulating Wyldon who was cold and implacable and insensitive, or by emulating Raoul who mostly only disobeys orders out of principle or because he has an issue with what the order says about his personal relationship with Jon, but by emulating JON.

Kel doesn't even LIKE Jon, she BARELY respects him as a person. He's a good enough ruler that she's willing to fight for him and swear loyalty to him and to at least mostly believe that he wouldn't work with Blayce to make his own killing monsters, but that's as far as it goes for Kel. If he's kind to her, she finds it uncomfortable and almost untrustworthy because she assumes he doesn't care about her and so his kindness and respect towards her must be fake.

But from the outside, as readers, we know just how much Jon fought for Kel. We know how much he does respect her right to be a knight. Jon is the sole reason that Kel DID get the opportunity to prove herself, if he'd capitulated to Wyldon completely, she just wouldn't have ever been allowed to join. Kel doesn't KNOW THAT, obviously, but we do. We know that Jon did everything he could to find a way to convince Wyldon to let Kel become a page. While Wyldon claims later that the reason he chose to let her stay at the end of the probation year was because his better judgment convinced him she'd earned it, I'd be willing to bet that part of that better judgment also included knowing if he couldn't prove to JON that she needed to go, then he'd be in trouble. Kel was training and working in front of plenty of other trainers and teachers who could easily contradict Wyldon's lies if he'd tried it, many of whom are closer to Jon than they are to Wyldon.

Kel's experiences and feelings about that experience are entirely valid, and she doesn't have the knowledge we do about how hard Jon fought for her, so it's not shocking that she's upset with him for a good portion of her series. She never even discovers this truth by the end of her series, even though she does get a lesson from Jon and Thayet (and Raoul to some degree) about how politics and compromises work in order to make changes happen. So her opinion of him by the end is boiled down to the quote from Squire: "good kings weren't always good men." It makes sense for her to think this, but because Kel's knowledge base is so limited (and her worldview so black and white for much of her series), it makes her an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator about this particular issue.

Kel believes that while Jon generally does his duty and keeps the peace, he doesn't actually care all that much about his people as individuals. But in their only meaningful conversation in Squire, Jon is able to point out that he (and Thayet, who is actually equal to Jon in power, something Kel either doesn't know which would be a failure in her education or just tends to ignore so she can focus her ire on Jon) has to make a LOT of compromises in order to get ANYTHING useful done at all. Sometimes, often, it means making deals with people he doesn't like or people he just fundamentally disagrees with, because it's the first step in a multi-step plan to help more people in the long run. He also points out that just throwing his weight and authority around in order to be able to change everything he wants to change immediately regardless of what anyone else thinks about it is a great way to get himself and his family killed. Because even if he had good intentions, that would be tyranny. It does make Kel think a little, but she doesn't tend to like him much still afterwards, her resentment from her page years will always color her opinion of him a little.

However, then she gets to Haven and she's suddenly tossed into a position of leadership over a lot of other people, many of whom disagree with each other or disagree with her or both. And all of the sudden, Kel has to make compromises. She doesn't LIKE the way the sergeants often treat their men, especially the sergeants whose men are convicts, but there's very very little she can do about it without really pissing off those same sergeants and that's not something she can afford to do. There's a moment when Neal starts getting frustrated about the treatment of the convicts and she takes him out to vent to her so he doesn't vent to the sergeants, something that the sergeants would then take out on their men. Kel's reasoning as she does this is that she "preferred to avoid battles with them now so she would have authority with them later if she needed to use it." Later, Kel is talking to Daine and she says "That's all this job is... Trying to please everyone and pleasing no one. And it will only get worse, not better."

Both of these moments showcase Kel choosing to make compromises. She may not like the way the sergeants treat the convicts, but she needs to stay on the sergeants' good sides because she doesn't have enough resources to butt heads with them nor enough authority to just force the issue, and even if she DID, it could cause the sergeants to become troublesome or take out their frustration with her on the men in ways she can't see as well. But staying on the sergeants' good sides might mean letting some of their maltreatment slide if it's not physically harming the convicts. And even setting that aside, she's dealing with nearly 500 refugees eventually, all of which are from different towns in the area and have different needs, not all of which she can accommodate. This requires compromise. Sometimes she can please some of them and not others, but mostly she probably just ends up not pleasing anybody because that's often how compromises WORK.

She never makes the active connection to Jon and his lesson on leadership from Squire while she's in Haven, but that quote up there about how this job (aka being a commander) is all about trying to please everyone and pleasing no one? It sounds a HECK of a lot like "good kings weren't always good men." You can try your best to help others, but often doing the right thing can involve making everyone unhappy. You can't be everybody's friend if you're going to get anything done.

Some of this she might've learned from Raoul's style of command, but Raoul commands a fairly small amount of people (at least in comparison to a King), and so we see him able to be pretty friendly to the people he commands in a way that Jon is perhaps unable to do. And she might believe that she learned some of this from Wyldon, but Wyldon had a tendency to be very unfair and biased due to his raging bigotry and conservative values, as well as the fact that he doesn't actually even LIKE being a training master and that likely impacted the way he treated the pages (he's almost never that kind to the pages, whereas we see him capable of being quite kind with the refugees later, which is where Kel comes to the conclusion that he hadn't enjoyed being a training master).

But Jon makes an entire speech about how he (and Thayet) have been working THEIR ENTIRE REIGN to change laws that help people. He explains how they have to consider the needs of merchants, nobles, farmers, street people, priests/priestesses, and mages. They have to consider not only what these people might need or want, but also what they could do when they feel sufficiently offended and how that could impact not just the royal family or the nobility but the realm as a whole. Jon points out that they HAVE made changes, for the better, and that just because they don't always succeed at everything or because they have to compromise sometimes, doesn't mean they aren't working at making changes or that they don't care about helping people. Not everyone you have power over is going to be your friend, they might not even be someone you like. But if you're going to take on the job of leadership, that's something you have to be willing to accept and work with, which often means making compromises with people whose needs and values are contradictory to your own.

Jon probably knows when he makes the compromise with Wyldon that it will likely impact a lot of people's good opinion of him. Alanna is right there and clearly angry, and we know Thayet doesn't like the decision, either. And it's entirely possible that Jon knows in the moment that Kel herself will put the blame on him because he's the King. But he also knows that if he insists on Kel being allowed to be a page without trying to compromise with Wyldon, Wyldon will quit over it and he'll end up with ten DIFFERENT problems that could cause a lot bigger issues to far more people than just one girl. So he makes the compromise. He sacrifices Alanna and Thayet and even Kel's good opinion of him in order to ensure that Kel gets the opportunity to become a Knight without turning all of his nobles against him which could ultimately lead to a civil war. Is it fair? No, and he knows it. But it's the best option he has in order to get the outcome they all actually want which is just for Kel to have the chance to prove herself.

Kel has to make similar choices once she's finally in a position of leadership of her own. And whether she realizes it or not, without ever even spending more than a few minutes with Jon, she ends up emulating his leadership style more than anybody else's because it WORKS and it works WELL. She'll probably never admit it, she might never even realize it herself, but she's so much more like Jon than any of the other men she sees as role models. And I love that. I love the dramatic irony of that, that the one person Kel only barely respects because of a compromise he made on her behalf that she'll never even know about, is the person Kel ends up most resembling. Jon is the reason she has the opportunity to become the Protector of the Small in the first place, Jon is the person who created that environment that allowed her to nurture those values, and she'll probably never even really be able to acknowledge that, because sometimes that's what being a good leader means.

[aurorasanddsadprosee]

I was once told I am not fit for any human relationship, whether it be platonic or romance. The words engraved themselves into my heart and soul, and so I began clawing at every possible chance of a connection. I went out of my way, taking paths I once thought were not feasible for one like me. I could feel every ounce of my soul being drained away by the ordeal, but I remained undeterred. At one point or another, I made a futile attempt to catch a labored breath, and a thought came to my forlorn mind: Am I doing this for myself? Or for the sole purpose of proving those torturing words false?

[incorrectpizza]

Hey OP about the Jedi Survivor bingo. How does it feel to be a prophet?

Never, in a million years, did I imagine I'd get so many squares checked off! I'll be posting a completed Bingo card once I finish playing through the game.

I will say, I did "cheat" just a bit and include a few things that were heavily implied in marketing. But most of them were 100% my brain just having Thoughts and Feelings right before launch.

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Hated. Fucked. Loved.

Kinktober Day 16: Hate-Fucked

Male Rival Yandere x Male Reader CW: PAINFUL noncon, bloody non-con, oral sex, face-fucking, cum swallowing, kidnapping, non-sexual bondage, piss, reader pissed on in shower, OC hates reader then turns yandere, sadism, sadistic yandere, protective yandere, mind-broken reader, briefly feminized reader, forced crossdressing, brief display of homophobia/f-slur, psychological damage, violence, minor character death, WHUMP, angst but eventual comfort, weapons-grade Stockholm Syndrome, Dead Dove: DO NOT EAT Word Count: 4.1k (Oh lordy, this one is brutal. Hope you enjoy it anyway. Not betaread so please excuse any errors. The longest fic of kinktober and the finale. I wish you all a Scary Hexmas and hope this Hexmas time meal is filling. Don't forget to comment <3)

Will. Fucking. Hated. You.

He had ever since he first met you in grade school. It seemed that no matter what he did, you always had to show him up. The only area he seemed to do better than you was in popularity. But that just didn't fulfill him enough.

Will wanted real acknowledgment that he was better than you could ever be. He wanted it reflected in his grades and in the opinions of the teachers. He wanted absolutely everyone to see he was better than you.

He wanted you to see it, too.

But despite all of his unmitigated vitriol towards you, you always ignored it and treated him with kindness. You figured maybe he had a bad home life or some other difficulty that made him take it out on you. His behavior still made you cry sometimes... but you really wanted to make everyone like you. You were a people pleaser, and you wanted him to be happy.

But it infuriated him, stoked the embers of his hatred for you into a full-on inferno every single time you did it. To him, it was clear evidence that you thought you were better than him. That you were above him. Morally superior.

As if poor trash like you could be better than him.

He knew all your kind behavior was a farce to make him look bad. To taunt him.

One time, when Will had been out of school with a broken leg, you had gotten the entire class to join you in sending him get well cards. You had even made homemade cupcakes. He was sure you were laughing at him!!! Goading him. And convincing everyone you were so great at the same time. Fucking piece of shit.

No matter what you did in life Will couldn't stop following your path until he proved he was the better man. He was obsessed.

When you went to a small cheap college, he dutifully followed you to it. His family was immensely wealthy. He could have gone to a much more prestigious university, he could have just gotten a job in his father's company, but he didn't want to use his money or connections to prove he was better than lowly scum like you. He wanted you to see he was better in every metric.

And he had to be there to see your face when you were finally defeated.

He even went into your field so he could do the same courses. So he could prove that you were a piece of shit to be discarded in comparison to him.

Since you were going to school to be a nurse for the elderly, you saw Will's obsessive competition not as a crazy need to prove you to be inferior to him but instead as absolute proof that he was secretly a wonderful person. For how could someone so devoted to the care of the old possibly be bad? Especially when nurses were paid relatively little and he had come from such a wealthy background! It wasn’t exactly a glamorous job.

So you still treated him with kindness. It was okay that he didn't like you. Now that you knew he was actually sweet below that prickly exterior, you could laugh off all his cruel behavior towards you much more easily.

This was unacceptable to him.

When you both graduated, he even went to work at the same nursing home as you. This gave you the impression that maybe he was a bit crazy over you. But not in the way that he actually was. You thought he had a crush on you. You thought all his meanness towards you was probably internalized homophobia with his following you through life proof of him really liking you.

You made the conscious effort to make Will happier and be even nicer to him now that you were sure you knew the truth.

That isn’t how he saw you doubling down on kindness.

Taunting him. Taunting him. Taunting him. That's all you ever did. Flaunting it for years. Pretending to be unaffected by him. As if he was an insignificant speck of dust that did nothing to you. That's how he interpreted your behavior. He hated you so much.

The final straw was when you threw Will a small surprise birthday party in the break room at work. Of course, he had to pretend to love it. Eat your overly sweet homemade cake.

To him, it was the ultimate humiliation. He had to pretend to like it. To thank you for the cake and the gift you gave him. A gift card to his favorite store.

You were just so smug. Thought you had pulled a great victory over him, he was sure. It wasn't like he could say anything. If he did, he would sound crazy. No one would believe him if he told them that you threw him the party just to anger and embarrass him.

Will snapped. He didn't show it, though. He acted calm for days as he slowly readied his revenge. He readied his basement and got all the required supplies for his self-appointed task. His reason for being. To break you and get revenge for the countless times you had made a fool of him.

For days after the party, Will had acted a lot calmer and less aggressive towards you. No more mean or sarcastic comments at your expense. You thought that maybe he was finally getting to a point where he was accepting his feelings.

But you couldn't have been more wrong. Will didn’t have to retaliate to perceived slights. You were beneath him, and he was finally going to prove it to you in every sense of the word.

You had stayed late at the hospital. Will waited for you to leave and followed you out into the parking lot. You had walked to work since the weather had been so pleasant, and since it was such a short distance from your house, you had to pass through the nearly vacant parking lot to go home.

As you passed his car, Will reached out from the shadows and grabbed you. Before you could scream, he held a cloth over your mouth with a strong hand. You struggled profusely until the chloroform overwhelmed you, and your body went completely limp. Will briefly noted that you looked kind of peaceful and cute before stuffing such gross thoughts aside. He quickly tied you up and hogtied you before stuffing you into his trunk and driving off. The journal you kept in your pocket fell out in the trunk.

His house was several miles outside of town. It was a long drive, long enough for you to regain consciousness, but that’s what your binds were for.

You were understandably terrified and disoriented. You had not even seen who had grabbed you, and they hadn’t spoken either, so you had no idea who had nabbed you or what they wanted.

When the car finally stopped, you heard your attacker snicker after opening the trunk. You redoubled your efforts to break free of your binds. But the rope that held you was too sturdy for that. Your abductor picked you up with some effort and quickly carried you into a building. You could only tell because the air changed and the sound of the door closing behind you.

You began screaming and shrieking into your gag, but succeeded only in hurting your own throat. Even if the screams had not been muffled by the cloth gagging your mouth, there were no other houses within earshot of you. And this wasn’t an area with any traffic either. Will had thought this all out.

You heard the rattling of chains and felt the cold touch of a metal collar around your neck. He rummaged through your pockets to take your phone, then your clothing was peeled away, and the binds around your arms replaced with handcuffs restraining your arms painfully behind you. The gag muffling your screams was removed, and you began sobbing pleas for your freedom.

The last thing taken from you was the blindfold. You stared up in confusion, not believing for a moment who you saw. Will, looking down at you with insane erratic green eyes and a smile that left a chill on your very soul. His medium length brown hair was unkempt, adding to the terrifying visage before you.

“Wha..? Will… Plea-!!”

You were interrupted by a sharp slap to the face that made your eyes water.

“Shut the fuck up! I am the one talking here. You don’t get to manipulate me with your smug words… I have been waiting so long to put you in your place. I think we should commemorate the moment!”

The unhinged man rummaged in a drawer until he pulled out a camera and took a few pictures of your sorry state. He put the camera away and produced a sharp knife from his pocket which he then held up to your oh so delicate throat. You sobbed more fervently.

“Aw, you’re crying already? We haven’t even gotten to the fun yet! We need to pace ourselves.”

His breathing was heavy. Like he was infusing his sadistic desires into the air with each breath he pulled into his lungs.

“Let’s make one thing clear from the start, if you try to escape or fight back, I will slit your throat. Do you understand?”

You nodded shakily. You knew you wouldn’t stand a chance against him in a fight. Even if he didn’t have the knife, he was still a very fit man.

“I am just SO excited… What should we do first… What will show I am better than you?”

As he sat down on the edge of a large bed a few feet from you and mumbled to himself you finally had a chance to catch your breath and try to calm the slightest bit down while you took in your foreign surroundings. You were in a neat, sparsely furnished room that appeared to be a basement. You were chained by the neck to a pole that was behind you. Only a scratchy blanket separated your bare skin from the cold concrete below. The bed he was on looked out of place, as if it had recently been moved down here, but it was clearly not for you.

“I know!”

Will walked up to you and pulled out his erect cock, evidently excited by having you under his control. He pressed the head of the thick appendage against your lips while smiling maniacally down at you in the same way that he had before, his meaning clear.

“Well hurry and get started then. And if you bite I think you know what will happen.”

Your jaw ached as you sucked him clumsily. It was rather large and you were rather inexperienced. It didn’t help that your hands were unavailable to help you grip the shaft to speed up the process. As he got closer and closer to orgasm he became more forceful. First humping into your mouth steadily and eventually gripping each side of your head hard and violently fucking your face until you thought you were going to pass out.

“You better not spill any!”

Finally he slammed down your throat, pressing your nose into his curly pubes, and came hard. You gagged but managed to swallow it all as he pulled out.

“Fuck. Maybe you were made to suck my cock. That was the best nut I think I have ever had. Don’t forget to clean it.”

After gasping for a moment you licked his cock clean of cum and saliva and he put it back in his pants. You had fantasized about doing things with him, but never like this.

You sobbed and asked why he was doing this, and he immediately put a stop to it by punching you in the gut, leaving you reeling.

“I still don’t want to hear your bitching.”

“You should know why. This is what you get for always looking down on me and having everyone convinced that you’re so great!”

He got in bed before continuing.

“You always thought you could compete with me, make people think you were better, outdoing me. But now you know you’re beneath me. I don’t know about you but I am tired from all the excitement, I need rest.”

Sleep did not come easily for you as painfully restrained as you still were, but eventually, you silently sobbed yourself into a state of unconsciousness. It was a fitful rest, one plagued by nightmares.

You awoke to the sight of Will leering down at you.

"Hey, sleeping beauty! I’m off this weekend, so we will have the next couple of days all to ourselves. I wanted more time, but I couldn’t take vacation right as you went missing. So we'll just have to make the best of it.”

Your lip quivered in fear of the horrors Will had in store for you. It was a warranted response. He started the day by having you gag on his morning wood and licking his nuts and dick clean of the cum that dribbled down them when he came.

You got smacked for spilling a drop, but it wasn’t as brutal as your treatment the night before.

Then he decided that you needed a shower so he hosed you down with cold water in the basement’s bathroom, the chilling concrete room had a drain in the floor making it a very convenient location for Will to torment you in as he did not need to worry about flooding. The concrete exasperated the chill. While the water was still running he took a moment to further degrade you by whipping out his half-hard cock and taking his morning piss all over you.

After that he noticed you sobbing silently again, your naked form shivering with anxiety, fear, and of course the bitter cold.

“Awe, are you crying like a little girly? Maybe you should be dressed like one then…”

A light bulb seemed to go off in your abuser’s mind.

“Hey, give me a minute!”

He tied you back up painfully before leaving abruptly. He came back with a maid outfit from a costume store down the street, it was October so it was open for Halloween.

"You look like such a slut in that, like the filthy whore you are."

You continued looking away in shame and humiliation.

"I bet you have a cunt like a girl's too. Bet you want to get railed by a real man."

"Stop it Will! A-anything but that! Please... I'm sorry!!"

That only pissed him off.

"You're not making the demands here slut!" He smacked you hard across the face, causing you to yelp.

"And you're not sorry yet... but you will be..."

He dragged you over and tossed you on the bed. You were shaking, crying into the pillowless mattress. You wanted to run but were terrified of what he would do. He was much stronger than you.

You heard the sound of him undoing his belt and pulling down his pants.

He spit on his cock and rubbed it to full length. Just enough lube so he could enter you. Not enough to do anything to bring you comfort.

The mattress sank with his additional weight as he got on. He positioned you with your ass up and moved the skirt of the maid outfit to show off your ass. You sobbed more. What had you done to deserve this? Had you hurt him somehow? Had he mistaken something someone else did for your own actions?

Will gripped your hips, nails biting into your flesh. He pulled you back hard and thrust forward at the same time. It felt like fire. His cock split your ass brutally and you screamed as loudly as you could. Will smirked. Music to his ears.

"Don't pretend that you don't want it. This is what fags like you are made for!"

A smack echoed as he slapped your ass but you didn't even register it beneath the all consuming pain of him violating you in such a brutal manner.

Will kept slamming into you over and over. Pulling out almost fully each time before thrusting back in as hard as he could. When he saw blood on his cock it only encouraged him. It wasn't like Will was into blood or anything. He wasn't really a sadist at all under normal circumstances, but he certainly was when it came to you. He was finally putting the trash that mocked and looked down on him in his place. The blood, tears, and choked sobs of pain were just evidence of that.

It felt like the violation was going on for an eternity. The burning pain was unrelenting as he mocked and teased you the whole time. You didn't even know he was talking anymore, and due to straining your voice, you could no longer scream. Will finally drove into you deeply and came hard. He stayed in a moment and let his cock twitch and pulse cum into you. He had totally owned you.

But when his anger ebbed away and he pulled out he saw the blood stained cum flow out of your abused hole. He saw your shaking crying form gripping the sheets tightly. He heard your ragged, uneasy breaths. He knew you were having a panic attack.

What was wrong? This was what he had wanted, wasn't it? To break you. But now that he had, he could only stare in horror at what he had done to you. Even if you had snubbed your nose at him and thought yourself superior, this wasn't a proportional response. Nothing could justify... this...

Will cleaned himself off haphazardly and pulled his pants back up. Then he removed the clothing from your body and picked you up.

He had to make things better.

You weren't aware of your surroundings. You had mostly withdrawn into your own mind. You kept mumbling that you were sorry over and over into his chest.

"No, no, no. Shhh. Don't be. I'm sorry. I'm the bad one... Shit, I'm so sorry..."

His words went past your ears, and you continued your chant-like apology over and over and over. Your brain just couldn't accept that someone could hate you so much without you having done something to deserve it.

Tears threatened to roll down his face, but he wouldn't let them. It was his fault. He wasn't the victim here.

Why had he done this? Because of some childish rivalry that may have only been in his head? No, he couldn't accept that it was in his head. Not yet. He couldn't just let go of the years of animosity towards you he had been harboring. But... still... he obviously took things way too far...

Will drew a bath and placed you in it gently. A stark contrast to how he had treated you up until this point. He washed you carefully, meticulously cleaning the wounds he had inflicted to prevent infection.

You slumped against the tub, eyes staring at nothing, as he washed you of all the filth and blood he had marred you with.

The rest of the weekend passed, and you had scarcely improved. You still muttered apologies and could manage to use the restroom on your own, but he had to feed you himself.

He didn't know what he was going to do. He hadn't actually planned on what to do when he was done brutalizing you. He couldn't just let you leave. There was no way he was going to prison. If he did, you'd be dumped in some psych ward and forgotten about.

He no longer needed the pictures he had taken to blackmail you as you were practically catatonic anyway. You couldn't care for yourself in this state at all.

Your abductor refused to leave you there while he returned to work, and without you 6 had no reason to go back anyway. He had been worried that it would be suspicious if the two of you disappeared on the same day, but he had your phone and just had to make up a scenario that would keep people away. Neither of you were particularly close to anyone, so it wouldn't be difficult.

The excuse he gave was that the two of you were going to move back to your hometown and get high paying jobs working for your father. He figured he could take care of you himself for a week or two while he got things worked out with his dad. Then he could take you with him to a new house there and hire a discrete caretaker to watch you while he was at work.

During the time before the move Will would sometimes get fed up with you and have to catch himself before he screamed or accused you of faking to guilt trip him.

As the week went on, he even caught himself thinking it was a bit cute when you were sleeping while he held you. He had to remind himself constantly that even though he went way too far, you were still in the wrong somewhat for how you had acted.

And then, while he was cleaning his trunk to pack your belongings he had retrieved from your place, he found your journal in his trunk and its contents finally got through to him. It detailed your crush on him and how you thought he must have one on you because of how he behaved towards you. It went on about your thoughts and feelings about your coworkers and all your interactions with them, including all the kind things you went out of your way to do to make them all happy.

It was obvious to him now that you were a real-life cinnamon roll. Part of the reason people liked you was because they could exploit your kindness, and they clearly had. And he had done far worse than that.

There was only one thing he could possibly do to even begin to make things right. He wasn't into men like you were, but he would be your boyfriend and eventual husband.

He would also make you his assistant at his new job so he could watch over you personally. It wasn't like he had to devote much time to work. He had an upper management position and could delegate most tasks. You had begun to do more basic things for yourself when directed so you could eat and sit and look busy so no one would suspect anything.

Eventually, after months of delicate, tender care, you were able to speak more and think properly again. Though you were still a nervous mess occasionally plagued by vivid nightmares that replayed what you had experienced. You never dared trying to escape. The lessons of obedience you had learned your first days with Will had been ingrained deeply within your psyche. And with your newfound anxiety, you couldn't really take care of yourself completely alone. You were dependent on him for employment.

Well, at least your boyfriend treated you kindly by that point. As if you were a porcelain doll that would crumble to dust under the slightest mean gaze.

In fact, rude employees had been fired for even shooting you a glare. And when there was a jealous bitch that had mean words to say about his darling assistant and lover? Some hired goons provided her with a broken nose one dark night.

When Will announced his engagement to you, his father objected because of your lower status and humble origins. He screamed at you directly accusing you of being a gold digging whore unworthy of his son. You curled up in the corner of the room, crying and trembling. Soon after that his father came down with a terrible case of sudden onset poisoned to fucking death with an untraceable toxin that gave him a stroke, a common enough cause of death for a man of his age.

Will wouldn't let anything threaten or hurt you. And if that meant his dad had to die, then so be it. You were his responsibility. But beyond that, what had started with him taking accountability for his actions towards you had slowly evolved into genuine love and care for you.

It took a long time, but eventually, your feelings towards him evolved into love, too. You would always be a little broken, a little fearful of him, but he was the only person you really had, he had isolated you thoroughly and was constantly in your presence, so it was inevitable that you'd start to see him in a better light.

[cosmicanakin]

⸝⸝ 𓈒ㅤׂ 𖦹 here's an angsty dean blurb that i couldn't get out of my head <3 miss my baby smookums s'much.

warning(s) smut | strong language | situationship | angst | s1 DEAN | abandonment | self loathing. ୨୧ eighteen plus! adult content | minors do NOT interact.

　　　ꢾ꣒　　 ⑅　　 ⁺　 　₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎　　 ✺ LIBRARY.

★ bonus. divider creds @anitalenia !

it wasn't supposed to be like this with dean. casual was what you both strictly agreed on — no strings attached, no feelings involved. just two hunters finding respite in each other whenever paths crossed. that was the deal.

but here you are, straddling him in another stuffy motel room, his calloused hands gripping your hips as you ride him slowly. the dim lamplight casts shadows across his freckled face, highlighting every expression of pleasure that crosses his features. dean's breathing is ragged, green eyes half-lidded as he watches you move above him.

you lean down, pressing your palms against his rough ones, intertwining your fingers together. the new angle makes him groan, head throwing back against the pillow. his grip on your hands tightens, and you can feel the trembling in his muscles as he fights to maintain control.

"fuck," he breathes out, voice wrecked. "you feel so good, sweetheart. s'perfect..."

you increase your pace slightly, watching as he falls apart underneath you. DEAN WINCHESTER — the notorious hunter, the man who's faced down demons and monsters — coming undone by your touch alone. his walls are down completely, vulnerability written across his face in a way you've never seen before.

that's when it happens.

"i love you," he gasps out, the words tumbling from his lips before he can stop them.

you freeze mid-movement, staring down at him with wide eyes. the confession hangs heavy in the air between you, and you watch as realization dawns on his face. dean's hands suddenly release yours, gripping the cheap motel sheets instead, knuckles turning white with the force of his grip.

"what?" your voice is barely above a whisper.

he won't meet your eyes anymore, jaw clenched tight as he stares at some point over your shoulder. the silence stretches on, broken only by your shared breathing and the distant sound of traffic outside. you're still connected intimately, but the moment has shifted into something else entirely — something neither of you were prepared for.

without warning, his hands move to your waist. those strong arms that you've admired countless times before easily lift you off of him, setting you gently on the bed beside him. you watch as he sits up, running a hand through his disheveled spiky hair before reaching down to grab his discarded boxers from the floor.

"dean, hold up—" you start, but he's already heading for the bathroom, not looking back as he closes the door with a soft click.

you lie there in the silence, staring up at the water-stained ceiling. your mind replays his words over and over, trying to make sense of what just happened. dean winchester loves you.

DEAN WINCHESTER — who keeps everyone at arm's length, who builds walls higher than heaven itself — just confessed his love for you in the most vulnerable moment possible.

and you? you don't know what to feel. this wasn't part of the plan. feelings weren't supposed to enter the equation, but here they are, complicated and messy and real.

you can hear him moving around in the bathroom, probably trying to compose himself. knowing dean, he's probably gripping the sink, staring at his reflection, and beating himself up over his slip of the tongue. that's just who he is — taking every perceived failure and turning it into self-loathing.

the thought of facing this conversation, of dealing with the aftermath of those three beautiful words, suddenly feels overwhelming. you slip out of the bed, quickly gathering your scattered clothes and pulling them on. your hands are shaking slightly as you find a piece of paper and pen from the motel's complimentary notepad.

that's all you write before placing it on the rumpled bed. it's cowardly, you know it is, but you can't face him right now. not when everything is so confused and tangled in your mind.

you're just closing the motel room door when you hear the bathroom door open. you don't stay to see his reaction, but you can picture it perfectly — dean walking out, preparing himself to bare his soul to you, only to find an empty room and a note in your place.

you know it'll hurt him. know that he'll blame himself, add it to the long list of things he carries on his shoulders. but you can't give him what he wants right now, can't pretend those words didn't change everything.

as you walk to your car, you can almost hear him in that room — probably throwing something in frustration, cursing himself for ruining what you had. classic dean winchester, turning his pain inward, letting it eat at him.

but sometimes running is easier than staying, even when you know it'll leave scars on both of you that might never fully heal.

[themoonitselff]

Okay but just imagine Mizu getting dominated by her s/o and feeling that safe she can actually let her femenine side out.

Very explicit nsfw under the cut. (afab reader)

The taste of her lips against yours was already making your thighs warm and wet, her hands were already searching for the sweet points in your body that makes you jolt and whimper for more, but this time was different. You wanted to make her feel different.

Since she's always manhandling you, always taking care of you, always pleasuring your needs, sometimes she gets really stressed by the thoughts of responsibility, like, she needed a break, a release from all the pain and suffering in this path full of blood. You were thinking about this since last week, and you just couldn't stand there again and let her do all the job. Not again.

Before she could take your kimono down, you took her hands gently, stopping her, your gaze connected with her as you whisper “Let me take control of this, tonight is all about you.” Your voice immediately made her relax, but it still was weird for her since she had this icanmakeeverythingbymyown mindset in her head.

She saw you getting on your knees as you sat her in a rock, in front of a waterfall, in the middle of the night, where the only expectator was the moon. “Hey, you don't have t-”

“But I want to. ” You replied, taking her pants off, she denied at first, scared of what could have happened, what could possibly put you and her in danger and that she cannot do anything about it. It's not like she treats you like a stupid young child that doesn't know how to take care of their self, in fact, Mizu thinks you're amazing at fighting when the situation merits it, your thin blade passes through the enemies bodies like it's a leaf, you're talented, but when she started falling in love with you, she had this need to protect you and own you, because she wants you to calm and not endure, like her. Now it's the other way around.

You place her hand in your head, as your mouth sinks in her arousal, your tongue gently caressed her clit, it was pumping against your lips as you kissed it with an indescribable romance, you were actually enjoying it, your pussy was like a water slide.

The sense of your tongue against her body made her change mind instantly, her hand pushed you deeper in her core, the moans that were low, raspy and groaning at first now were sweet and high pitched, her head tilted back as she just stopped being so hard like a rock and let herself just enjoy the moment, her hips moving into your mouth like wanting more, as you smiled against her lower lips.

“You're so beautiful when your off guard.” You babbled between her legs, your mouth left her throbbing cunt to make some kisses and hickeys on her crotch, your ears were hearing and orchest of whimpers and moans, at this point, she sounded like a woman fallen from heaven, and whatever you were doing, she was satisfied with it, more than satisfied, grateful.

“Keep doing it.. You're so fucking good at this-” She demanded, it was so cute you couldn't believe it, Mizu can be very submissive when it comes to.

Your ears now were hearing a wonderful orchest of whimpers and moans, they were so loud you had to get up and kiss her passionately to get her mouth shut, you tongues were dancing roughly, eating each other, it was so erotic you couldn't believe it. You? Making the cold Mizu whimper and cry for you?

“Come here, let me feel you closer.” You hummed.

“ I'll regret this later- Fuck! ” She panted in your mouth.

Mizu's legs were now hugging your waist, her hand was scratching your back and the other supporting her weight in the rock, you thrusted into her a bit rough until you felt her squirting all over your arm and a bit of your kimono, she was breathing hard against your lips, panting and squeezing your fingers full of her cum.

You stayed like this, close to her, your foreheads touched each other as Mizu and you closed your eyes, recovering from action, then you laughed a bit and pulled your fingers off, just to taste them later. “I told you this night was about you. ”

“I-.. ” She hided her face, trying to get back her pride. “Just shut the fuck up.” Mizu pulled you back again to her lips, kissing you like feral.

Maybe you could start being her stress-releaser since now.

[authorhjk1]

Dea Romana

(Minatozaki Sana X Male Reader)

(Author's note:

Hi everyone! Thank you for patiently waiting for me! I'm done with writing my exams now, so I will be able to write more again until Juli. Since I like history a lot, the beginning got a bit longer than originally planned, but I hope you will be able to enjoy it nonetheless. I tried to make everything as historically accurate as possible, but please don't expect everything to be true.

Stay healthy! I will do my best to upload the next piece as soon as possible!)

Every muscle feels like it's burning. Your legs and arms feel heavy. Your feet barely lift off the uneven ground with every step you take.

Dried blood stains your face. Your armour doesn't look much better. The shield you are holding, has a big dent in it. The javelin in your right hand feels like it's made out of steel. The chainmail on your chest weighs heavier than usual.

"Marius!"

Your second in command shouts at you from the back.

"The women need a break!"

You sigh in annoyance. It's bad enough that you almost got your whole century killed. Now you have to delay your reunion with the rest of the legion because of those Gaul captives.

"We will take a short break."

You announce to your eighty legionaries and the twenty rebels you captured.

Spotting a small stream near by, you walk closer, while most of the soldiers sit on the ground, some are standing guard.

Taking off your helmet, you start to wash your face. The dried blood sticks to your skin. After some effort, you are just a little bit cleaner.

Another sigh leaves your lips as you kneel in place. In front of the small stream, your century in the back, looking into the deep forest.

You have lived a hard life. You were not born a Roman. Not born a free man. But you took your life into your own hands, instead of hoping for the mercy of the gods. Because gods don't have mercy. Only you can change your own destiny.

"Let's keep marching. We are almost there."

You go back to the front of the century, your men following your orders. Most of the Gaul rebels you captured are women and children. Their husbands and fathers killed by your swords and javelins.

Orders are orders. To kill or to be killed. These are the only two principles you live by. At least most of the time.

"Have you heard yet?"

Quintus asks from behind you, catching your attention. You silently wave for him to walk next to you. It's not necessarily the gossip you're interested in, but you did learn that it's important to know what is going on inside your century and the legion itself.

"Aelius fucked up some of his soldiers."

You raise your eyebrow while you keep walking. Nothing new there. Aelius is a spoiled son of a whore. He only became centurion in the tenth, because of his family's status. And he is usually unnecessarily brutal with his century.

"Reason?"

"They ate some of the extra rations we all got a week ago. Aelius said that they are meant for centurions only. Not for legionaries."

You have to stop yourself from spitting onto the muddy path you are walking on.

Aelius paints the perfect picture of the Roman nobility. Rich assholes. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"Did he kill someone again?"

Quintus shakes his head.

"But I heard that the premus pilus had a talk with him."

You let out a dry chuckle.

"All the centurions of the first cohort are the same. Do you really think he got in trouble?"

"No. But I thought you would be interested. It's not like you have very good connections with-"

"Shut it, fool."

It's not really a secret in the tenth legion that you and Aelius are bitter rivals. The two of you are the completely opposite of one another. A rich brat, who is the centurion of the third century in the first cohort. And you. The former slave, who climbed the ranks to be the centurion of the first century in the second cohort.

There aren't many ranks that separate the two of you. But making the jump into the first cohort as a former slave is nearly impossible.

Your century walks in almost complete silence for the next couple of hours. Despite being one of the most feared soldiers in the legion, you can't help but be cautious. In case there are more rebels lurking in the shadows of the large trees.

"Marius!"

The scout you send out to check the path ahead is jogging in your direction.

"We take another short break."

A light murmur of gratitude echoes through the ranks.

You wait for the young man, barely older than a boy, to reach the spot where you are standing.

"Someone seems to be traveling towards the camp. Our paths are going to cross, once we reach the small clearing ahead."

"Do you know who it is?"

"It looked like a person from the nobility. There was a carriage. And a couple of men with spears. Probably guards."

"We can't be too cautious. Titus!"

You shout for your second in command to walk to the front.

"Take your contubernia and make fast pace. I want to make sure that everything is going according to regulations."

"Yes, Marius."

The rest of the century starts marching at normal pace again, while the eight men rush ahead. The scout leading them towards the small crossroads.

"You know what's going on?"

You shake your head at Quintus' question.

"Might be a politician from Rome. Or a nobleman's wife."

"You know that that's against the law."

Of course everyone knows. It's illegal for a legionary to be married. And yet, some centurions always think that they are above the rest of the legion, when it comes to this kind of rules.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

An angry shout echoes around the forest, just as you and your men reach the small clearing.

The scout was right. A carriage, pulled by two grays, accompanied by a handful of men, armed with spears, and some servants.

An older woman is standing in front of the carriage's door, screaming at the poor Titus. Glancing over his shoulder, your optio rolls his eyes.

"Woman. Don't scream at a Roman legionary."

You make your presence known as you keep walking towards the middle of the clearing.

The servant, probably around forty to fifty years of age, looks at you with anger in her eyes.

"Do you even know, whom you are holding up?!"

"No."

You state bluntly, finally standing in front of her. Behind you, you can hear your men take their positions. Not to threaten the travelers, but to guard the area.

"Well, she is one of the most prestigious women in all of Rome."

"And what is a woman like her doing so far away from the city?"

"Visiting her husband."

You click your tongue. As far as you know, none of the centurions in the first cohort have wives. Which means, she must be the woman of a centurion, who ranks lower than you.

A smirk, which you can't suppress, plays around your lips. How are you able to enjoy a higher position than a noble in this republic?

You walk off without another word, leaving Titus in charge. There is no need to bother with this stuff. Some of the Gaul rebels fell a little behind earlier. You have to check on them. In case they are sick or badly injured.

"Her name?"

You hear Titus ask, before the woman let's out an exaggerated gasp.

"Sana Lucii."

You groan in annoyance. By Jupiter. Is this really his wife? Lucius Aelius? Just when you thought, you couldn't hate that man even more.

You despise men, who don't follow the law and rules of the republic and the legion. Of course, sometimes you can define them a little different for your own gains, but this is just breaking them.

Trying to stay calm, your fingers tap the pommel of your gladius. You don't hear a response from Titus. He must know which Lucius the old woman ment.

"Marius?"

He finally makes you turn around.

You walk back up towards the carriage, just as the door opens.

"By Bellona! What is taking so long!"

You have to say, you are amused by the woman's expression. You didn't expect her to call out for the goddess of war.

"Just doing our duty, lady."

Titus answers politely, although you know how hard it is for him to not lash out. He hates Aelius just as much as the next soldier. Especially, since he is your optio.

You are stunned, once the woman actually shows herself. Her beautiful face is slightly twisted with annoyance. Although, you would be sure that she could look like Venus herself, when she smiles.

She is wearing a turquoise stola, which also covers her brown hair. The thin material enables you to have a look at her white tunic underneath. Her skin looks flawless and pure. A golden necklace adorns her neck and collarbone. It's probably worth more than a whole year of your salary.

An image of a goddess.

"I hope we can speed up this process. I'm supposed to be by my husband's side."

Lucky bastard.

"Please. Speak respectfully with my legionaries."

Her gaze meets yours. You can feel your heart skipping a beat. Not one woman has looked as pretty as she does. Not one.

"Who are you to lecture me on speaking?"

"Salve."

Your fist meats the blood stained chainmail on your chest.

Maybe, if you behave respectfully, so does she. The army is for her protection after all.

"My name is Marius. And-"

"What's your first name, centurion?"

A cute smile suddenly plays around her lips. Maybe this will get her out of here faster.

"Gaius."

"I see, Gaius. I'm sure you have more important things to do than stop me from traveling further? My husband must be waiting for me."

If she didn't know better, Sana could swear that she caught a glint of hate in your eyes.

"This is protocol. We have to check on everyone, who approaches the camp."

"I'm a noble woman. Can't you make an exception for me?'

You don't fall for her sweet smile. You are on duty. Not even Venus herself could distract you. Well, maybe a little bit.

"Your choice. Here, or at the gate in front of even more legionaries. Like everyone else."

That last part makes her glare at you. You won this round.

Not waiting for a response, you gesture for your men to search the woman's belongings. Your Imperial legate has more than enough enemies in Rome to be cautious of. And you don't want him to end up dead inside his own camp. Even if she is allegedly Aelius' wife.

Quintus nods in your direction after going through her belongings, signaling that everything is alright.

"We will accompany you on your way to the camp. We are on our way back, anyway."

You turn around without looking at Sana again. A signal for your men to get into formation.

It feels like she stares at your back for a second longer, before you hear the door close behind you. You don't like the Roman nobility. At all. There is only one man you are willing to follow.

After two more hours of marching, your century and the noblewoman's entourage finally reach the camp's gate.

"The village, where the senior officers are staying, is right behind the camp. You can't miss it."

The older woman, who screamed at Titus earlier, still looks at you as if she is holding a grudge.

"I hope you enjoy your stay in these wonderful lands, lady."

You raise your voice a little, making sure that Sana can hear you. It drips with sarcasm and you can hear Quintus chuckle behind you.

"Vale."

With a dismissive wave of your hand, you walk past the old servant. Her shock at your rudeness visible on her face.

Already making your way past the guards, you can't hear Sana's scoff.

Who are you to talk to her like that? If she is gonna tell her husband about this, you are going to be in trouble for sure.

Sana will never be able to get used to this. She was able to decide that, immediately after she stepped out of her carriage. It took her only a couple of steps to enter the small house her husband is living in right now. But that was enough for her already.

Nothing here looks like Rome. Even the legionaries look out of place. And their shouts and the sounds of shields and stuff isn't what she hears when she is home. Sana is already missing the comfortable house with the atrium. She likes to bathe in the sun throughout the day, while sipping on a really good wine.

"You're late."

Lucius doesn't even look up from his small table as he hears his wife coming in.

"That's how you great me after a year?"

"You know how I value punctuality."

"Out of my hands. Some centurion insisted on searching my luggage. He was really rude."

Now Lucius is looking at her. Sana knows that he can't stand someone disrespecting him. And when she gets disrespected, it goes deeper. He is affected as well.

"Who?"

She can see his eyes becoming a little darker. He bites his lip, maybe trying to prevent himself from shouting.

"His name is Garius Marius. I think?"

"That son of a whore. How does a slave dare to stop you?"

Now, Sana feels shame run down her spine. If she knew that he was born a slave, she would've hit him for talking to her like that. No matter his rank, he is and will always be beneath her. Once a slave, always a slave.

"I swear to Jupiter. One day in battle, I will..."

Lucius takes a deep breath, before focusing back on his wife.

"We are eating dinner with the Imperial legate, the leader of these legions tomorrow, and the senior generals. I expect you to impress them."

"I'd be happy to, love."

Sana almost spits out that last word, but Lucius doesn't seem to notice. He sits back down, opening an envelope. She can see how his eyebrows are still furrowed. He won't let this incident pass without consequences.

Sana eventually leaves the house to explore the small town and it's market. Despite being married to Lucius, she can't stay around him for too long. She is only his wife, because of his money and connections. As soon as she can find someone better...

Sana feels a little dizzy as she steps out of the big house. Lucius told her to be on her best behavior. But that idiot was behaving the worst throughout the dinner.

She hated how calm and reserved the other centurion was, the man who stopped her. He was the lowest ranking soldier and yet, everyone listened to his advice and thoughts about future and past battles. And how is he on a first name basis with the imperial legate? And why is Lucius too incapable to enjoy the same treatment? How can he do worse than a slave?

Sana holds onto the wall, standing right next to the entrance. Suddenly, two men walk out the door. They don't see her because it's dark. She tries to find out who they are. The first one is a little taller, while the second has broader shoulders and looks more muscular.

"We can't do this forever, Gaius. We need a plan to wipe him out. I expect you to help me with that."

"Of course, Gaius."

Sana almost groans in annoyance. Of course it's that Gaius Marius. And the other one is the Imperial legate. Gaius Julius Caesar.

"Rome is an empire. We will defeat Vercingetorix sooner rather than later. His supporters will crumble soon."

"You did a good job today, centurion. You've proven once again, why you rightfully carry the name I gave you. Gaius Marius Antonius."

Sana assumes they are talking about some barbarian leader. But Caesar gave him that cognomen? She can't help but wonder what he must've done to be called "priceless".

"You know the political situation in Rome. The more time I waste conquering Gaul, the more powerful my enemies become."

"I swear to Mars. I will cut down anyone who tries to oppose you, Gaius."

She sees Caesar put a hand on the centurion's shoulder.

"It's only a matter of time, until you will be one of the Tribuni angusticlavii, leading the tenth legion into battle. And I will make sure, you will eventually become a rich senator."

Sana has heard enough. It's so disgusting to her. A slave becoming a senator. She is working so hard to become the most powerful woman in Rome. And with that in the whole empire. How can that lowlife become something better than she herself? Sana either needs to push Lucius further up the ranks, or she needs to find someone, who can match Marius' new found status.

Sana groans in relief, when she can finally leave the small village. It's not like someone forbid her to leave, but there just wasn't something to do in and outside the village. What was she gonna do in a forest? A very dangerous one at that?

But now, she heard of a big market place around two hours away. Sana is still looking to buy some oils and pottery. She could do that in Rome of course, but she is hoping to find them cheaper in their land of origin.

Looking out of her carriage, Sana leaves behind the village and the big camp right next to it. The constant noise made her head spin. Not that Rome isn't loud, but this is something else.

After about an hour, Sana hears a troop of men marching in front of her. She became familiar with that sound after a few days. She doesn't look outside, despite being curious. Why would a century be here? The battles would take place in the opposite direction. Right?

Sana hears how the carriage passes the back of the century. The heavy steps of the legionaries kick up some dust. Her old servant looks outside, curious herself.

"It's him again."

The older woman grimaces, before letting the curtain drop back into place.

"Who?"

"The man who stopped us a couple of days ago."

Sana's attention is now on the men outside. She remembers the conversation you had with Caesar.

"Really?"

She pretends to be cold, not wanting to get caught. After having seen you around a couple of times, the young noble woman is unsure on how to feel about you.

Yes, you are a former slave. A peasant. But you are also a great centurion. A trusted man to Julius Caesar.

Despite being not the highest ranking officer, Sana did notice how the other men look at you. She catches an occasional whisper of your brave actions in battle. She sees the men greet you with almost too much respect. Even the other centurions seem to want to be on your good side.

Maybe that's what Sana has to do too. In order to further climb up the ladder. It is risky. And it's still a long time in the future. But if Caesar can really make his ambitions reality, you will be one of the first people who benefit from it. And if Sana plays her cards well, she can benefit too.

For a moment, she wonders what a man like you would need. Something she could have to bargain with. Money? You probably earn quite a lot already. Especially compared to your earlier environment. Land? You will get that too, if you stay long enough in the army. A wife? You are a soldier. You are not allowed to be married.

As Sana is still pondering on what to do to convince you to help her gain more power, she gets closer towards the front of the century.

And it's not like she doesn't have influence. She could maybe even get you a promotion into the first cohort. Of course without her husband finding out.

Sana draws back the curtain a little with only one finger. Just a few meters ahead, she can see you walking.

Your helmet is decorated by a big crest of red horse hair. The back of the helmet and the rest of your armor shimmer in the light of the sun. She remembers your first encounter. Your armor was full with blood, indicating that you were more than able to fight a battle.

You turn around as you hear horses behind you. It wouldn't have been a surprise. One of the auxilia officers could be taking his men out to train.

Surprised at the sight of the carriage, you catch a glimpse of the passenger. Her eyes meet yours, a big golden ring decorates the finger that holds back the curtain. You could swear you see a small hint of a smile play around her lips.

"Salve."

You great her by hitting your armored chest with your fist. Not because you like her, but out of politeness.

"Salve, centurion."

Her passive aggressive mentioning of your rank indicates that she is still not over that incident a couple of days ago.

"Are you visiting the market?"

"I am. I suppose you are not here to buy pottery?"

A mocking smile replaces the earlier one.

"It may sound unbelievable, but I'm not."

A cute chuckle escapes her mouth.

"Well, I hope you enjoy this beautiful day."

Is she still mocking you, because you are on duty? You are not sure, but you can see her lazily wave goodbye as the carriage drives past you.

"Don't get too close to her. She is only gonna be trouble."

You look at Quintus.

"I'm merely being polite. I don't need trouble with angry nobles. At least not now."

"By Jupiter. One might think you've become a responsible, grown man now."

"Fuck off."

You raise your hand, but Quintus ducks away, avoiding a potential slap.

Only listening with one ear to the conversation next to you, you scan the market for the young noble woman. Despite her attitude and the fact that she is married, you can't help but glance at her occasionally. Plus, the market isn't as safe as it might seem. Cunning merchants, thiefs and rebels might roam the place, ready to strike at any moment. And being a beautiful Roman woman makes her one of the most desirable targets right now.

"Listen, Roman! I barely sell anything! How do you expect me to pay your unreasonable taxes?!"

"Shut it."

You turn back to the stall holder. Titus' and his conversation got heated.

"We are not hear to argue. We are here to collect taxes."

The man grits his teeth.

"I'm telling you! I don't have anything to give away!"

The other people around you look at the scene, before walking past. Only you and a couple of legionaries are here. The rest of your century is patrolling another village nearby and the rest of the market, making sure you are not getting ambushed.

"Don't scream at me, old man. Pay up."

"I don't have a fucking coin!"

You know he is lying. You saw someone buy his fabric from a far as you entered the marketplace. And, judging by the money bag he held earlier, it wasn't cheap at all.

"We can do this the easy way, or the heard way."

You take a step forward, towering above him.

"But the hard way won't end well for you."

"I already told you, I-"

You let your head fall back in annoyance. Collecting taxes is a necessity. Not something to be proud of. It's not as honorable as fighting in battle.

"Do you really want to go this far?"

You look down at him again, your hand now resting on the pommel of your gladius.

He caught the movement of your hand, worry creeping onto his features.

"What is it gonna be? Your life? Or coin?"

The old man is not stupid. And a couple of moments later, you walk away from his stall. The tinkle behind you indicates, that Titus is adding the silver denarii into the bag with the rest of the already collected money.

"Are you trying to rob me, old man? You are a con artist!"

Women screaming at a merchant are as common as clouds under the sky, so you don't pay much attention to it as you hear someone scream.

"How can you demand so much for this lousy work?"

You keep walking, although you kinda feel, like you heard this voice before. It sounds oddly familiar.

"By Bellona! I'm going to have you beaten for your rudeness!"

And there it is. With an annoyed groan, you immediately recognize, who is disturbing the rather peaceful market.

If she was a common local woman, you would've kept walking. The Galli could solve their own disputes.

But Sana is, as unfortunate as it is, not a local. She is a Roman woman. A member of the elite even.

You take a deep breath, before walking towards her screams. You can already guess whom she is screaming at.

"Keep going."

You tell Titus over your shoulder, as you approach her from behind. Her servant must have stayed with the carriage, because Sana is standing in front of the stall of the potter all alone.

Before the young woman can scream another word, you grab her arm.

"What-"

You spin her around and walk away, pulling her with you.

"What do you think you are doing?!"

"Silence."

You didn't say it in a loud voice, but your tone makes her go silent.

After a couple of meters, you stop, turning around to look at her.

"You're welcome."

"Excuse you?"

Her hands now rest on her hips. You can't help but catch how slender her waist seems to be.

"I just saved you from embarrassing yourself even further. You owe me."

You turn away, ready to reunite with Titus and your men.

"What the-"

It's now Sana's turn to grab your arm, stopping you from leaving.

"I don't owe you shit."

"Really?"

You turn to look at her again.

"Your temper is as bad as your observation skills. Minerva would strike you down for your utter incompetence."

You said the words, before you thought about them. You are aggravated. Because of the merchant earlier, because of her causing a scene, because of Lucius (as always) and because of her being his wife. Alright, maybe that last one was a little jealousy.

"How dare you? You are some rude-"

You stop her from saying another word by grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around.

"Look. Look and tell me what you see."

"What are you talking about?"

You see her frowning. An act that makes her beautiful face a little less flawless.

"Tell me what's going on."

You realize you are using the same tone as with the men during training. Harsh, straight forward, a little condescending. But not rude. Just factual.

"The merchant is still selling his stupidly expensive pottery."

You don't answer, waiting for more.

Sana, visibly annoyed, struggles against your grip for a moment, before giving in. You are a seasoned legionnaire. There is no way she is gonna get out of your hold on her.

"There are a couple of women and men who browse his items."

"Keep going."

"Someone is buying a bowl and an amphora."

"What is the woman on the right doing?"

"She is paying for her stuff. What-"

"Can you see how much she is paying?"

"Way too much for a stupid-"

"Do you see any of the locals complaining?"

Sana hesitantly shakes her head.

"Do you know the reason?"

"Because they are stupid. In Rome it's cheap-"

"We aren't in Rome, woman. This is Gaul."

You stand behind her, both of you silent for a couple of moments. You give her time to think about the possible reason. Although she is probably just complaining about you to the gods in silence.

"They all pay the price he demands, because he and his work are respected here."

"But they look-"

"Yeah. Some of his pieces aren't pretty."

You admit that.

"But he is an old man. His hands aren't as good as they used to be. He is obviously regarded with a decent amount of respect."

You gesture for Sana to look around the market.

"Most of the people here bargain over every single item. Food, cloth, tools and even pottery."

You turn her back towards the old man's stall.

"But not there. They respect him too much to try to get a better price. His work might not be the very best anymore, but his skill is known by everyone here."

Sana groans in annoyance and anger as she sees you coming out of the biggest tent of the camp. A week has gone by, since you treated her like a child at the market. Her blood still boils, whenever she sees you from a far.

She decided against telling her husband, not wanting to cause unnecessary friction. And if you have the favor of Caesar, it might be a bad idea to egg on her husband.

And Sana is still debating on your ability to help her seize more power. She is ready to do anything to get to the top. Even if it means working together with someone as low born as you.

Sana stops in her tracks as she sees her husband walk towards you.

"Aelius."

You don't greet him like any other lower ranking centurion would. The young woman can feel the tension between the two men, despite standing barely in earshot.

"Marius."

His face shows a disapproving twitch.

"It seems like we are catching up to Vercingetorix. I hope you don't make any mistakes in battle. I would hate to lose a lower ranking officer."

You click your tongue, taking a step forward.

With the two of you standing right in front of each other, Sana realizes that you are bigger than her husband. Not just in statue, but also in the way you carry yourself. With slightly less arrogance and more discipline.

"Don't worry about me, Aelius. As you know, I always make sure my men are taken care off."

Sana feels a shiver run down her spine. She heard more than enough stories about the battles of the tenth legion since she joined her husband. The amount of times that you were mentioned in one of them was noticeably high.

The young woman heard of a battle two summers ago. You weren't a centurion at the time. Merely a soldier of the second cohort. But in battle, your centurion chose to let his men die, while he stayed behind, watching his century getting slaughtered. After half of the eighty men were dead, you walked straight towards the cowardly centurion. A nobleman, which the storyteller didn't fail to mention with a hint of disgust. Your gladius seperated his head from his shoulders in one swift motion and you took command of the second century until the end of the battle. Caesar honored your bravery and agreed with your actions. Instead of getting executed, you got promoted.

"Are you implying I'm not leading my men well?"

Sana hears you chuckle.

"News travel fast among the younger men, Aelius."

"Maybe you should discipline your soldiers like I do. Your century is a disgrace to the tenth legion."

"Nugas garris. You are pathetic."

You walk off, leaving him behind.

Sana almost expects her husband to draw his gladius. How can you call him a disgrace? And idiot? He is higher ranking than you and he is a member of the elite.

But Aelius just watches you leave, before entering the tent you just came out of.

That short interaction reminds Sana of the power you actually hold. You might not be the highest officer, but almost the whole legion treats you as such. If it wasn't for your low birth, you might have been able to be the centurion of the first century of the first cohort.

Sana's decision is slowly forming in her mind. A plan to gain more power than she has right now. Siding with you might be risky. But the rewards could be great.

Sana glances at you from across the room as you stare at Caesar, who is currently talking. She is still not quite sure what she can offer you to make you join her side. But when the leader of the legion mentions the nobility in his speech, she sees your expression change for just a second. It is obvious that you hate all the wealthy and arrogant men and women. Maybe Sana can offer you something to get back at them. Or at least get back at Aelius.

"And that's why the tenth legion outshines any other. Your bravery and honor are praised throughout the whole empire. Rome is grateful for what you have done. And the gods smile down at the men, who give their lifes to the republic."

Caesar ends his speech. And with that, the long meal is finally over. It is night time already. Only the moon and the stars still shine.

You walk out of the large tent, ready to sleep. It has been a long day and there is no doubt that you will be fighting soon. Caesar's promise to promote you to such a high position still rings in your ears. You can't believe you've come this far.

"Gaius."

Her sweet voice makes you stop in front of your tent. She doesn't sound as angry as she usually does.

"Yes?"

You turn around, standing face to face with Sana.

"I'm here to ask you for something."

You look at her, waiting for an explanation.

"I heard that you are the bravest and most powerful man in this legion. At least unofficially."

You raise an eyebrow.

"Where is all of this honey suddenly coming from?"

Sana gives you a melodic chuckle. Only now do you realize how close she is standing. Her oils make you breath in the flowery air that surrounds her.

"I want to strike a deal with you."

"What would you want from such a low ranking officer like me?"

Your sarcasm makes it hard for Sana to not lash out. Just because she needs you, doesn't mean that she likes you.

"As far as I've heard, you won't be a low ranking officer for long."

"Is that so?"

You cross your arms in front of your chest.

"Well, it's actually quite simple. You have something I want. And I have something you want."

"I highly doubt that."

You watch Sana turn her head left and right, making sure that no one is around.

"There is a always something a man wants from a woman."

You are surprised at what she is suggesting.

"Judging by the look on your face, I can comfortably say that I'm right."

You shake your head, which seems harder than usual.

"Have you never thought about having your way with me? A noble woman?"

She takes another step closer. Now, Sana's sandals are touching yours.

"A married one at that? I bet you would love to destroy my husband. This could be your first step to success."

You narrow your eyes, still unsure of what to do. You've never been in this kind of situation. Is she making fun of you? Did Aelius put her up to this, setting a trap for you? Or is she genuine?

"What would you get in return?"

"Your power. Your influence. I can't live, knowing that another person might have more power than I do. I need to be at the top of the republic."

"And you think, I can get you there?"

Sana nods.

"With my support? Definitely."

She looks at you, waiting for a response.

You are still torn. She has a nice body, yes. But you're not fond of her attitude. She is a noble woman. And she is married. Getting caught would have serious consequences. For the both of you.

But the chance to use her? A noble woman? Fucking her, while her husband is only sleeping a couple of tents away? More than just tempting.

You look around the camp yourself. No one in sight.

"Get in."

A victorious smile forms on her lips. As she walks past you, she lets her finger glide over your armoured chest.

You follow her immediately after.

"Now that we have come to an agreement, I-"

You push Sana forward, bending her over the wooden table.

"What-"

You don't give her time to speak. If you're going to do this, you're going to do this quickly.

Hiking up her red stola, you reach underneath her tunic. The smoothness of her legs makes you hard as you reach between them.

"It seems like you are enjoying this more than I expected."

Your fingers graze her lower lips. She is not just a little wet.

"Hey, I didn't give you permission to-"

You shut Sana up by covering her mouth with your other hand.

"I don't need you permission. I'm going to ruin you anyway."

Her gasp is muffled by your hand as you push your first finger inside.

You haven't slept with a lot of women, the army being mainly responsible for that. Nonetheless, you do know how to pleasure a woman.

Sana's moan escapes between your fingers as your digits slide along her wet walls. Her pussy is already gripping them tightly.

If it weren't for your hand, her head would've sunk onto the table already. But you are holding her in place, which ultimately makes her arch her back.

She tries to say something, but your grip on her mouth makes it impossible for her to speak properly.

You are surprised at how wet Sana is.

"Was your desire for power just an excuse? Do you just want me to fuck you?"

She tries to shake her head. You don't let her.

"Do you get off, knowing that a lower born man is fucking you?"

Sana is unable to respond, when you let go off her face. Her whole upper body is now lying on top of the table. You drop your belt and hike her clothes up a little further.

"Don't get confused. I still don't like you."

Sana's growl doesn't sound very convincing with your fingers inside of her.

"Might be true. But you aren't married to Aelius because of his personality anyways."

Pulling your fingers out of her core makes Sana moan loudly. She blushes in shame. Doubt starting to rise inside of her. Is she really only doing this to team up with you?

"You only seem to care for power."

"So? Only a coward wouldn't want power."

You shut her up by letting your tip graze against her lips. Sana hisses through her teeth, unwilling to moan again.

"I'm just curious about how far you would be willing to go. How dedicated you are to this cause."

"Don't worry. I'm ready to do anything."

"Anything?"

You raise an eyebrow, which Sana can't see.

"Anything."

"That's reassuring."

Your nonchalant tone makes Sana shiver.

Finally, you push inside of her.

"Fuck, woman."

You can't help but marvel at how tight she actually is.

"Fuck me already."

It's a mixture of plea and demand.

With one hand you grab her hair, pushing her cheek against the wooden surface. Your other hand holds her waist.

Another moan escapes Sana's lips as you thrust forward. Before she can react, you pull back and push inside of her again.

After just a couple of seconds, you start to fuck her hard. The table rocks back and forth with every thrust. Her moans escape her lips, whenever you bottom out inside of her.

"Harder!"

Sana holds onto the edge of the table, her knuckles slowly starting to turn white.

Because you keep pushing her upwards with your thrusts, the young woman's feet eventually dangle in the air.

You are now able to fuck her even deeper. Her moans become louder when she feels your cock invading her pussy even further.

At this point, Sana is merely a hole for you to fuck. She doesn't move. Only your thrusts rock her body back and forth. The thin material of her clothes makes Sana's nipples rub against the wooden surface. They've become hard due to her arousal and are now adding to the pleasure she is already feeling.

"So good!"

She moans yet again. You suddenly realize, that this isn't really a save place to be this loud.

"Shut up."

You growl into her ear, trying to quiet her.

But Sana can't help it. She has already lost control over her body. Your cock is parting her walls again and again, making her clench around it tightly.

She is even unable to produce a disappointed whine, when you stop fucking her. You leaver her snug pussy, before getting her off your table.

Turning her around, you push Sana against the wooden post, which is holding up the roof of your tent. Reaching for your belt, you hold her arms up, before tying them together.

Sana is now unable to leave. You pick up her light frame, making her impale herself on your cock.

"By Bellona! Fuck!"

"I told you to stay quiet."

Your faces are barely an inch apart.

Because you push her body against the post, you are able to lift her up with only your left hand. Your right one moves upwards to wrap its fingers around her throat.

"One more word..."

You let the threat of unknown punishment linger in the air for a moment.

But you can't hold yourself back for long. Sana's pussy drips her juices onto your cock, coaxing you into resuming your pounding.

A whimper escapes her mouth, when you start to fuck her again. You can tell she is at least trying to stay quiet this time. While you make her bounce on your cock, you thrust upwards. It makes her eyes roll back, whenever she feels your cock pushing against her guts.

"Venus!"

A louder sigh escapes her mouth yet again. You close your fingers around her throat a little further.

"Behave."

The conflict in Sana's eyes amuses you.

She should be the one in charge. She is the noble one of the two of you after all. But here she is, bound to your post, your hand around her throat as you fuck her as hard as you can.

Sana tries to fight the belt, wanting to tell you that you have to choke her harder. She can't keep quiet when you fuck her like this.

Another moan escapes her lips and you tighten your grip yet again.

"I warned you."

You hiss into her face.

Sana's wide eyes look beautiful. The way she stares at you, begging you to fuck her harder, while she tries her best not to make any noise.

But she fails miserably. A loud sigh echoes through the tent.

Without a word, you reach upwards. The sound of metal on metal cuts through the night as you pull your pugio out of its sheath. You let Sana get a good look at it. Then, you slowly part her lips with its blade.

"If you don't want to hurt your pretty face..."

You don't continue your sentence once more. But Sana is well aware of the risks.

With your dagger in her mouth, Sana has to pull back her lips, while simultaneously biting onto the blade, to make sure it doesn't fall or hurt her.

You see her closing her eyes as you keep fucking her. She is now really quiet, focused on keeping your pugio in place.

"Finally. Your voice so annoying."

Sana blushes in shame, able to see your honesty in your eyes.

"At least you have a nice body. I could fuck you every day."

The young woman almost lets out another moan. She really has to hold herself back. This was the first time someone reduced her to nothing but a wet hole to fuck. She didn't expect it to feel this good.

You suddenly hear footsteps outside. You stop moving, almost making Sana whine in disappointment, but then she hears it too. The two of you hold your breath. Neither of you wanting to get caught.

As the footsteps disappear into the night, you resume your fucking.

You make Sana bounce up and down on your cock. She glides along its full length. Whenever you impale her on it, Sana's eyes shoot wide open. She would scream if it wasn't for the dagger between her teeth.

"I'm gonna cum."

You hiss into her face, unable to hold back longer. Her tight pussy has been working on draining your cock this whole time. It feels perfect, almost too good to pull out. But cuming inside is obviously not an option.

You put Sana back onto her own two feet, taking the knife out of her mouth. Undoing your belt, you free her arms. Sana drops to her knees, opening her mouth. You catch a couple drops of blood on the corners of her mouth, before she wraps her lips around your cock.

Your pugio falls out of your hand and you take a fistful of her beautiful hair. Her eyes look up at you, telling you to finish inside her mouth. Her tongue glides over every inch of your cock it can find, while her lips are tightly sealed around it.

"Sana."

You manage to groan her name, before you unload inside her mouth. You feel dizzy, having to close your eyes for a moment.

When you open them again, you see Sana gulping down your cum.

"How often do we need to do this, so that we have a deal?"

"I think you know the answer."

It's so dark that Sana's face is barely lit by the torch outside. You could swear a small smile plays around her lips though.

[ghostandsoap]

Feeling You

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem! Reader Tags: Light smut. Cockwarming. Ghost being a softie. Word Count: 1.0k "Just happy you're here."

⋆˙⟡ ♡⋆˙⟡

⋆˙⟡ ♡⋆˙⟡

In the quiet sanctuary of your shared solitude, you and Ghost sat chest to chest, your hearts beating in a rhythm that echoed the symphony of your love.

The world outside ceased to exist as you lost yourselves in each other's presence, your souls whispering secrets that only you could understand.

The warmth of his body seeped into yours, blurring the lines between where one ended and the other began. Your breaths intermingled, a testament to the intimacy that you shared. Each inhale was a silent promise, each exhale was a sigh of contentment.

The only sounds were your breathing, heartbeats, and the occasional whimper from you when Ghost shifted his hips underneath you.

Ghost's cock was nestled far inside of you, his tip pushed against a sensitive spot that you didn't even know existed until just now. He stretched your walls so perfectly and sat so comfortably inside of you that Ghost felt high off of it.

You had soaked his thighs and lower stomach, your arousal leaking on and around him. You weren't much better, because your inner thighs were dripping.

The two of you were spending the week together, not a single plan or obligation to be had. Ghost had every intention of staying in and keeping you as close as possible. It wasn't often that he had this opportunity, and he would be a fool to let it pass him by. The week consisted of movies, snacks, cuddles, and just about anything else that didn't require either of you to leave.

The two of you had been lounging on your living room sofa, just watching some cheesy documentary that you both agreed to watch. It was more for filler noise than anything, because the two of you had managed to chat with one another through the entirety of it.

When the film was over, you turned off the TV and your side table lamp to prepare to close your flat up for the night -- however, Ghost wanted just a few more minutes.

This was about an hour ago when Ghost had set you up on his lap. Mainly just because he liked having the chance to look up at you and he loved watching you sit on his thick, muscular thighs.

Frankly though, he hadn't anticipated this.

Somewhere along the way, your cotton sleep shorts and T-shirt were discarded, along with his sweats. Your clothes were tossed aside to be retrieved in the morning.

The two of you had shared some sweet kisses, and all the shifting around prompted Ghost to slide his cock into you slowly when you were wet and ready.

However, Ghost held you still when you tried to bounce on him, which caused you to raise a brow. Ghost was sitting up straight against the back of the couch, holding onto you in his lap like you were his lifeline. It took you a few moments to settle into this arrangement that he was making.

Eventually, the two of you morphed around one another like you were the most perfect fit. Like two pieces of the most beautiful picture.

It was inevitable for you to start squirming though. After all, it was hard to resist him when he was literally right under you.

Ghost groaned and huffed when you rolled your hips forward, one of his hands coming to your hip to restrain you.

"Sit still," He said, kissing your forehead. "I just want to feel you for a bit."

"Sorry," You sighed, head still resting on his shoulder. "Just getting comfortable."

"It's alright, doll..." He chuckled. "Just happy you're here."

Ghost's fingers traced paths of affection on your skin, each touch igniting sparks that danced beneath the surface. The silence returned, filled with the unspoken words of love that hung heavy in the air.

In this moment, you were not just two bodies sitting chest to chest; you were two souls intertwined in an eternal dance of love. Your connection was palpable, a force that defied logic and reason.

As the two of you sat there, Ghost realized that he was living a life he never thought he would ever have. He was experiencing a love that was uniquely his. A kind of love that he once thought he was far too damaged and broken for.

"You're so beautiful," He almost whispered. "My pretty girl..."

You pulled your head back to look at him, your eyes sleepy and cheeks glowing. He loved you so much he could barely even understand it.

"I love you." You remarked, rotating your hips in a way that was more involuntary than anything else.

Ghost couldn't help but let out a low laugh when your grinding down against him was returned with a slow, yet firm snap of his pelvis into you. He knew that this charade wouldn't last long, because one of you was going to crack sooner or later.

"I love you." He returned, his lips meeting yours in a meaningful kiss.

He didn't stop you this time when you started to rock your hips against his cock, the feeling of moving inside of you causing a flutter of his eyes.

He couldn't deny you any longer. He had to let you have your way with him. Truth be told, it was starting to drive him a bit mad anyways.

Your movements along with Ghost's were slow and careful...sensual. He wanted to feel you for as long as he possibly could. He would do this forever and ever if he could.

His cock felt insane inside of you as you fucked him at such a glacial pace. It was insanity because Ghost couldn't believe that he could ever deserve something as good as this...someone as good as you.

The slow rise and fall of your body onto his made both of your hearts begin to beat faster. The two of you craving the other like you were the only source of life.

And in the sound of your shared heartbeat, you found a melody that only your hearts could compose.

[lazyturtlehottub]

A breakdown of the Fangirlish interview: an exercise in media literacy

Given that the reaction to Buck and Tommy breaking up has been exacerbated by those interviews, I thought I would look into the one from Fangirlish in order to look at it with my media literacy hat on and see what was actually said. So, here’s a link to a version that doesn’t give the writer clicks because you should make up your own mind before providing revenue to the platform https://archive.ph/fqhlE

We start off with the headline: Lou Ferrigno Jr. on Saying Goodbye to 9-1-1, That Breakup and What’s Next

Right away, as the reader, we’re immediately told that LFJ is saying goodbye to 9-1-1, the implication being that this is the end of the road, no going back. This is, I will say, a choice that the writer made when they created the article: they decide on the headline, no one else. Going in, our mind has already been positioned to believe that this is an exit interview and to understand everything that comes next through that lens.

Supporting this path is this: “Lou Ferrigno Jr.’s time on 9-1-1 has come to an end[...]” but it’s important to note that no one has said this but the author of the article. At no point does she provide a statement from ABC, Tim Minnear, or LFJ to back this statement up.

Another unsubstantiated statement she makes is: “For Ferrigno Jr. it wasn’t exactly the way he envisioned the end of his time on the show [...]” Yet again, at no point in what she quotes from Lou does he say this at all. This is her take on the conversation and she has provided not a scintilla of evidence to support this statement. What she does provide is the following quote from LFJ:

“With the way things were going, and the connection that they had, I was under the impression that it was working, and they were connected,” he shared.

Putting this in the context of the interview, it does make it sound like Lou was blindsided by the break up, which is a very normal thing considering that we all know the actors barely know what’s happening even when they have the script. It’s not surprising that Lou didn’t know about the break-up since even Oliver Stark mentions that he didn’t know about it until they began filming, even though the possibility had been floated some episodes earlier.

So while this quote in the context the writer’s given does seem pretty final, if we remove the exit interview lens from it, it just reads as an actor expressing his surprise at the path his character is going.

Continuing on, the writer then writes the following: Ferrigno Jr. admits he had issues with this ending [...]

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, she doesn’t provide a quote to back this up. What she does right is frame the next quote as [...] but trying to get into the mindset of Tommy [...], which changes the context of the quote that Lou gives.

“If preserving his emotional health and saving himself is the only means to survive, then you can’t shame him for it.” He went on to add, “I honestly don’t believe that the relationship matured well enough that they should have made any type of long-term decision.”

So she makes a statement that says LFJ has issues with the ending and then immediately moves on to talk about the acting choices Lou had to go through in order to understand where Tommy was during the scene.

Perhaps the most direct quote from Lou about the relationship that sounds troubling with regards for the future of Buck and Tommy is this: “I just would have hoped that it would have lasted a little bit more,” he also told us, adding that in the hour we also have Buck “looking at those girls, and that sucks for Tommy, and it sucks for any person that’s looking at their partner looking at someone else.”

Taking this with the fact that this has been positioned as an exit interview, I agree that it does sound damning, but if you remove that filter from it then I believe it reads as an actor expressing mild regret that he didn’t get to play this stage of the character and this relationship more. However, I will admit, that this is open for interpretation given that we don’t know where this came in the interview since we don’t know what prompted this answer.

And for Ferrigno Jr., he admits he knew the two were done for good when he realized his character would call Buck “Buck.” I feel I’m a looping record but where in the interview does he say that? He doesn’t say that at all in the quote that she provides below.

She writes: Instead, Ferrigno Jr. told us that Tommy “only knows the man in front of him, Evan. And I knew it was going to come [the moment he called him Buck] because he’s always saying Evan all the time. I’m looking at a character that I’m playing, and he’s just like Evan, Evan, Evan, and in that line, I was just like… I knew this was going to happen.”

“And he doesn’t have to say that. He still can say Evan. But that is essentially signalling that this is all I know how to do, and it’s too much.”

Linked with what LFJ said earlier about Tommy protecting himself, this quote from him makes sense in the fact that Tommy called him Buck to protect himself from the hurt, to try and create some walls between them. But the writer has made this sweeping statement that he knew it was the end, implying that the relationship is at a permanent end when nothing LFJ has said supports that.

And then we move onto the bit that really highlights the bias that this article has been written around. The writer asks Lou: Could the show have been using Tommy as a roadblock to a possible Buck and Eddie relationship?

Getting into the professionalism of this question is for another time but I’ve added it here so you can see the fact that this is someone who is focused on the Buddie of it all. Evidence that supports this is in the author’s various tweets and the coverage of 9-1-1 on their website.

And I know we’re all worried about LFJ’s scheduling conflicts but I will posit that it was a standard answer from an actor who is just doing his job. In his words: “I would absolutely love to come back, but I do need to continue on my journey here. I have a number of things now that are going on that may or may not happen, and I hope that there’s no conflict if it were to be the case.”

Basically, this article is written from the point of view of it being an exit interview but at no point is evidence provided from official sources to support that statement. Throughout it all, Lou’s answers are framed within the narrative that the break-up is permanent and that he’s gone from the show for good.

I hope that this has been interesting and informative for those of you who have read it, and I hope it serves as a reminder that media literacy is for everyone, not just for an attack from those on social media against fans being publicly disappointed that a queer relationship has broken up, temporarily or otherwise.

[wyvernest]

tú eres mi vida

( part 1) (next part)

pairing: miguel o'hara x wife!reader

warnings: a lot of fluff, suggestiveness, foreplay?

summary: with the opportunity of a surprise, miguel makes the most of your honeymoon

He walked away from the hammock with you, hanging over his shoulder, ass in the air, making sure to keep a large hand over it, both to conceal you from wandering eyes and to grope at the plump flesh every now and then.

All you're seeing is the beaten path through the shore's sand and the junction between the beach and the hotel's green gardens. He skips the alley leading to your room, your eyes widening in amusement. You know he's good with directions, as long as you're talking about the spider-verse. Otherwise, in the blissful comfort of your honeymoon, you may have caught him further away from the stoic, attentive leader he's gotten used to being.

"Miguel, baby, you missed it. It's that way." you giggle lightly, tapping his lower back, careful enough not to make him feel bad. The last thing you want to do is blow off his mood.

"I know." His tone is confident, teasing. Your chuckles are silenced abruptly at the reply, utter perplexity taking over you. All the places and facilities around the resort flash through your head one by one, none fitting for what you were intending to do. And you haven't discussed love-making in seawater yet, either.

"Where are we going then?" you inquire, after throughout accession of all possibilities.

"Paciencia, cariño. It's a surprise." He reveals, full of pride and excitement, voice lowered and playful. You shiver, gripping into his waist to support your upper body and look around, scanning for said surprise.

He gets to the entrance of the private beach, still not stopping. With a sudden jump, he hops on the pier, your weight secure over his shoulder. You can't deny the wetness gathering in your panties at the thought of how effortlessly he carries you around, showing everyone that you're his, and most importantly, that he's about to make the most of it.

You watch the waves crashing softly against the darkened wood of the pier, clear and cold. You feel the breeze blow up over your bare thighs, shivering. He runs a hand over the exposed skin, up underneath the fabric of your flimsy skirt, stopping shy of the small mound of your cunt. You squirm slightly, needing his touch up higher, but he retracts his wandering hand and tightens his grip over you.

Finally, he reaches the water bungalows. Small huts connected by piers in a web-like distribution. Your eyes fixate on the king-size bed sheltered by wooden walls on all sides, except for the one facing the sea. Open and free, white curtains flowed by the bed frames, carried on the wind's wings like sails on a ship.

His knees hit the bed before he lays you down on the soft, clean, white mattress, his back facing the open view. You shift under his shadow, scurrying back towards the bed frame, watching him crawl over to you, slow and methodical.

He grabs your ankles faster than the time it would’ve taken you to escape and rile him up further, pulling you under him so that he’s straddling your hips, holding you in place. You lift yourself on your elbows, attempting to move your legs out of the cage, gazing up at him.

“What d’you think?” He asks, toying with the elastic of your skirt.

“I’ve never been happier.”

You drop your head back down on the bed, having stopped fighting the impossible hold he’s forced you in, between his muscular thighs. He smiles sweetly, satisfied with himself.

“It’s been almost impossible to find one of these available. But now that I have you here,”, he bends down, an inch away from your face. His hot breath fans your mouth, and you take it all in, the scent of him, the fresh bedding, the sea breeze. Your eyelids fall heavy, and he closes the gap between you, kissing you slowly, unhurriedly, like you have all eternity to spend together in paradise, and you’re just getting started. And maybe that’s exactly what it is.

You taste his lips, strawberry sweet and ever loving, feeling your eyes roll back at the sensation. He cups your face with one hand, holding you from fainting, and you let him lead. You feel his body move against yours, yearning to be closer and closer. His happy trail rubs onto your stomach, skin to skin. Every ridge of his defined abdomen pushes down onto you, chest rising and falling with each breath.

Struggling to keep up with the kiss, you sense his hands drift lower, to your waist, and you flinch ever so slightly, muscle memory kicking in. You mentally pray that he won’t–

And he does. He resumes his earlier attack, tickling you and abusing all the sensitive and funny spots he knows so well.

You scream through the uncontrollable laughter, fragments of his name that he otherwise hears in a different context, but which he adores nonetheless. His grip loosens momentarily, and you slip away like a cobra in desert sand. Before you can manage to get up and make a run for it, he grabs onto your skirt, his talons ripping through the material, leaving you in your shirt and panties. You protest, but he’s quick to drag you back on the bed. He laughs wholeheartedly, pinning you to the white sheets. You’re more than certain that the racket can be heard from miles away, but you couldn’t care less.

In an attempt to shield yourself, you bring your arms to your sides, tears already rolling down your eyes as you’re running out of breath and energy. He stops, and squeezes his thighs around your waist. You’re not leaving.

As he gathers the white sheets, pulling them over you both, you try to ignore the weight of his half-hard cock that’s now resting on your midriff. Or not.

You run your hands up his burly thighs, over his hip bone and up his abdomen, feeling the muscles ripple with his movements. He gives you a knowing look, bringing the sheet over his head, trapping you in a semi-transparent cocoon.

“Who’s gonna see us? The fish?”, you manage to say, feeling the remnants of an explosive giggle kick back in right after you’ve calmed down.

“I’m not taking any chances. There are speedboats.” he mumbles, as he adjusts above you.

“They’re not allowed so close to the-” he cuts off the rest of the sentence, slamming his lips onto your once again, and just like earlier, he has you melting in his arms in no time. It’s almost embarrassing how he manages to surf you through emotions so quickly and effortlessly, but you blame it on the beauty of being utterly and irrevocably in love. His lips move against yours with expert ease and precision, stopping every now and then to breathe, barely breaking away, as your exhales mix together in desperation and fascination.

You wrap your arms around his neck, your legs around his waist, basking in the heat of his body radiating down on you. A groan reverberates in his chest at the action, resulting in him moaning in your mouth.

You continue to make out in the cool shade of the bungalow, sheltered from the blazing July sun, and every second you feel like it’s the first time again, butterflies in your stomach, heart about to burst.

When he finally parts from you, chest heaving, eyes half lidded, you feel as if you’ve been cut from a lifeline. He moves to your flushed cheeks, the kisses are open-mouthed and slow.

“Te amo. Tu eres mi alma”, he kisses below your temple, “mi corazón-”, he moves to your jaw and right below it, “-mi vida.”

He licks at your neck, kissing the sensitive skin with insistence, pressing himself closer to you.

“Y siempre lo serás.”

link to part one!

translations:

paciencia - patience

tú eres mi alma - you are my soul

y siempre lo serás - and always will be

a/n: ill do a part 3 i actually love this whole honeymoon idea:) i hope its at the very least a bit original with the bungalow and all that

ALSO if you're a native latin spanish speaker please correct me im here to learn and write him as well as i can<3

+thank you everyone for the AMAZING feedback ive received for the first part!! i really hope you like this one and the next just as much

taglist:

@cooch1ecruncher @nvkdjnvjkd @tsukkie-daisuke @noahspector

(it won't let me tag everyone, sorry if i missed you)

[14dayswithyou]

Tell Ren to turn on his location. After getting all the bad ends, Ren graciously offers his help. The help is very, uh, interesting to me because all his choices are like ignore and be rude to everyone except me, make out and choose me over everything, pick me, choose me, love me- But what's more interesting is the choices that don't matter. For he picks something casual when you're choosing clothes which I don't have a reason for yet, the food you pick in the cafe is exactly what he ordered which either does he want me to like what he likes or is he just choosing what he likes and doesn't care? still need to ponder. Oh and the choice he didn't choose, which was to encourage or discourage his crazy murderous habits. It makes me think he really doesn't give a fuck if I like it when people die or not. Or if I thought people dying was exciting or cool. I also did another bad ending which got me the same four bad ending screen. I wonder if it only goes up to the amount you can possibly get and not if you just keep spamming them. I did feel bad for going against what he said after he basically had a mental breakdown over it. Sorry, Ren, I got curious. But yeah, I just wanna ask, what is up with all of that, or really just to ramble because I found all this cool stuff and need to share it.

⌞♥⌝ Ren chooses the answers that give you the most affection points with him and him only.

Some answers — like the cafe orders— are there to provide the player with more insight into Ren's interests, whereas others were intentionally left alone because I didn't want players to feel pressured into going down a specific path (like encouraging Ren to reveal his true nature). He also stops helping you once you reach any of the regular endings in Day 4.

As for the Dead Ends, there are currently only four in the game right now. Eventually, they'll be tied to specific dialogue choices and a hidden point meter — but for now, they'll only exist in the game until I can find a reasonable way to connect specific branches/paths with the following day (i.e. blocking Ren in Day 1 normally leads to a Dead End because I can't think of a way for him to show up in Day 2 without Angel feeling annoyed skgsgjs).

I hope this makes sense!!

[sound-of-scoups]

Moth To A Flame | JJK & KMG | 01

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female!Reader x Kim Mingyu  Genre|tags: Idol!au, series, established relationship, infidelity, love triangle, lots of angst, lots of drama, smut, fluff.  Word count: 9.2k+ Rating: Explicit adult content (MINORS DNI). Chapter warnings: A LOT of angst and tension, explicit language, sexual innuendos, kissing. Lemme know if there's more. A/N: I’m so happy it’s finally out!!! Just a few notes: I don't want to specify an exact date, but the events take place mostly during the second half of 2022, during the PROOF and Face the Sun/SECTOR 17 eras. Also, I'm not exactly sure how many chapters this fic will have, but possibly around 10 to 15 (if i can help it). That’s it! Enjoy the reading and let me know what you think!! Tags: @cherrylovescheol, @lovingkoalaface, @whoa-jo, @marihoneywk

Summary: Four years ago, you crossed paths with a charming member of the K-pop group Seventeen during their tour stop in Osaka. The two of you shared three intense, unforgettable days before life took you in different directions. It was painful for both of you, but you knew you couldn’t take things any further and had to say goodbye. Now, back in Seoul for good, you’re in a new relationship with another idol: Jeon Jungkook—whose charm and stability make him everything you thought you wanted. You are very much in love with him, and as your connection deepens, it feels like your life is finally falling into place. That is, until you meet one of your boyfriend’s best friends and are stunned to discover it’s the same man you fell for in Osaka all those years ago. As buried emotions resurface and secrets begin to unravel, you find yourself torn between these two men, caught in a whirlwind of love and conflict, testing the boundaries of loyalty and the choices that could change everything. 

Series masterlist | Next →

Your phone buzzed on the dresser as you stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the strap of your dress for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. You knew it was a message from Jungkook, probably wondering where you were since it was half past nine and you were already late. 

Nice way to make a good first impression, you thought to yourself, staring back at your reflection in the mirror, a mix of excitement and nerves creeping in your chest. 

Jungkook had chosen the dress himself. It was simple yet elegant, a mid red velvet dress—his favorite color on you—with a slight sheen and floral embossed details. The dress has a V-neckline and it’s fitted to the body, creating an elegant and sophisticated fit, perfect for the night. Over the dress, you chose to threw a black leather jacket, which added a cool touch to the look, contrasting with the delicacy of the dress and looking very chic overall. 

You took a step back, after applying a final coat of the deep red shade lipstick, smoothing the fabric of the dress one last time as you studied your reflection in the mirror once more.

If you were being honest with yourself, you had spent more time getting ready than usual, wanting everything to be perfect. 

Tonight marks six months since you and Jungkook started dating, a milestone you both had eagerly awaited. From the moment you met while temporarily working for HYBE as a stylist for BTS’s PTD on Stage first show in Seoul, back in october, you knew it was meant to be. When he started shamelessly flirting while you tried to adjust his clothes, you knew you were a goner. And in the 182 days since he kissed you at 2 a.m. by the Han River, the two of you have been through so much together.

You’ve already done almost everything and anything, absolutely ignoring when everyone said not to rush into things, since you’re both so young. Plans for the far future, matching tattoos, and considering how much time you spent at his place, basically living together. You can name it and find out what you've already done. HYBE already knew about your relationship, and you spent ninety percent of your time together, except when you were both working. He already knew your family and closest friends, and you also knew his mom, dad and brother, his members and most of his friends from school and the industry. 

Well, all except the infamous 97 line. Which basically was your task for tonight. 

You had never met them before, or at least not all of them. However, tonight that would change, as Jungkook had arranged a dinner and drinks to introduce you to them. And from the moment everything was agreed upon, the thought of making a good impression had your stomach in knots. Jungkook was everything to you, and all you wanted was to be perfect for him—to be the woman who would fit seamlessly into his world. 

You really did love him. It was a thought that both comforted and anchored you all day, keeping you steady despite the nervous feeling creeping in your stomach as you finished getting ready. During the time you’ve been together, you've fallen hard for Jungkook, his kindness, his humor, the way he made you feel safe and cherished. He became your world. He’s kind and thoughtful manners, the way he treated you like you were the most important person in his life.

Jungkook had been nothing short of amazing and you loved him deeply. 

But that was not the only thing on your mind tonight. There was something else, something you hadn’t been able to push away no matter how hard you tried. Or rather, someone.

Of course you knew the guys who were part of 97 line—you didn’t live under a rock. For Christ’s sake, you also work for the entertainment industry; it’s basically part of your job to know who they are. And even if they weren’t who they are, Jungkook never stops talking about him specifically. He’s already shown you dozens of photos of the two of them and their adventures during Seoul’s nights.

It had been months since you realized that Mingyu from Osaka was also Jungkook’s Mingyu. 

The worst part, however, was that you hadn’t had the heart to tell him. You knew how angry he would be, how fiercely he loved you, and how much he disliked the idea of sharing anything, especially you; what was his was his only. So, yes, you were terrified of what would happen if he found out. You simply couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, not when you loved him so much, and not when what you had together was the best thing that had happened to you since you set foot in Seoul again. 

That’s the only reason you had kept it to yourself this entire time, knowing this moment would come eventually and you would have no way to escape it, only hoping you could get through the night without Mingyu causing any trouble. You knew he was a discreet guy, and it wasn’t like you were going to see each other every single day anyway from now on.  

Your phone buzzed on the dresser one more time, pulling you out of your thoughts. As you have guessed before, it was another text from Jungkook. 

You smiled, the warmth of his words soothing your nerves, if only a little. Jungkook was the reason you were doing this, the reason you face tonight despite the anxiety gnawing at you. And tonight was about him, and you were determined to make it nice and easy. 

So you took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you muttered to yourself, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “It's just one night.” 

Grabbing your purse, you took one last look in the mirror, and headed out the door. Even though it's not that far from your house, the cab ride to the restaurant felt shorter than you expected, your anticipation growing with each passing minute. 

Earlier in the day, Jungkook had insisted on picking you up, but you refused. You ended up working late—your temporary job as an editorial stylist for Elle Magazine had taken more of your time than expected—and you didn’t want to make him late as well. So, you told him you’d take a taxi and assured him it would be fine. But even so, you could tell he wasn’t completely convinced. He'd texted you several times throughout the evening, double-checking that you were okay and reminding you to let him know once you were on your way.

When you arrived, you spotted Jungkook immediately, staging outside the entrance with a wide grin on his face. He looked effortlessly handsome in his dark gray Calvin Klein shirt and dark jeans, his dark hair tousled in that way you loved.

As soon as he sees you getting out of the cab, his entire face lights up. 

“Hey, gorgeous,” he greeted you, bunny smile on full display as he pulled you into his arms to a warm hug, nose immediately dragging against the column of your neck, “I missed you.”

“Hi, handsome,” you replied, a teasing smile on your lips, nerves easing slightly with his touch as you melted completely into his embrace. “It's only been eight hours, babe.”

He shrugs. "What can I say? I don’t think I can last much longer without you, babe." Taking his face from the crook of your neck, Jungkook smiles, leaning down to kiss you softly. You sunk into the kiss, his familiar warmth making you feel safe and more at ease. “Happy six months.” 

“Happy six months, baby,” you replied between kisses.

When you finally pulled away, he kept you close, both hands on each side of your hips, an amused smirk pulling up at the corner of his lips. “You look incredible. Can’t wait to take this dress off of you.”

Your arms rested on his shoulders, circling his neck. “Mhmm… you don’t look so bad yourself.” He smelled really nice too, a wood and ocean scent that was distinctly his. “I have a surprise for you underneath this.”

"Don’t do this to me, doll,” he groaned in complaint, his voice almost sounding like a whimper. “I’d ditch those guys for you in a second.”

His lips met your jaw, trailing a path down to your neck. “And I wouldn't complain.”

You heard someone clear their throat, noticing a lady on the sidewalk staring at you with an unfriendly expression. You giggled, finally pulling away but staying close enough for him to drape his arm around your waist.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t wait for you to meet them,” he sounded way too excited, his doe eyes sparkling with joy. “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you said with a nervous laugh, trying to shake off the lingering jitters.

“They’re going to adore you, I promise,” he said, squeezing your waist reassuringly. 

Jungkook led you into the restaurant, his hand gently resting on the small of your back. The place was cozy and intimate, with soft lighting casting a warm glow over the tables—the exact kind of spot you’d expect idols to gather for this kind of get-together. You could hear the hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses as you made your way to the back of the room toward a large table where a group of eight guys were already seated and chatting animatedly. 

As you weaved through the maze of tables, your nerves began creeping back in, your heart pounding in your chest as you approached the table. You forced yourself to focus on Jungkook, on the fact that he was here with you, and that tonight was more about him than anything else. But as your eyes scanned the faces at the table, you couldn't help but search for the one you were dreading most.

“They’re just over here,” Jungkook said, bringing you out of your thoughts as you approached the group. 

And then you saw him.

Heart skipping a beat and breath caught in your throat as your eyes landed on the man sitting at the far end of the table, his eyes downcast as he filled his glass with a cabernet liquid. 

The man you never expected to see again in your life.

Kim Mingyu. 

The sight of him was like a punch to the gut, the air in the room suddenly feeling too thick, too heavy. The world around you blurred, your vision narrowing to just him—the man who had occupied your thoughts for so long after Osaka four years ago, the one you had tried and failed to forget.

It felt like slow motion as all eyes turned to you, and Mingyu slowly looked up from his drink, following suit with the rest of the guys.

Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes locked with his. A flicker of recognition crossed his gaze, his eyes widening slightly before he quickly masked his surprise with a neutral expression. Even though you knew he would be there, nothing could have prepared you for the rush of emotions that surged the moment your eyes met.

It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving you breathless and frozen in place. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, the noise of the restaurant fading into the background, and all you could hear was the rapid beating of your heart.

Mingyu held your gaze, a slow, knowing smile curving his lips. In that moment, a jolt of electricity shot through your body—a mix of fear, guilt, and something else, something you didn’t want to name.

“Everyone,” Jungkook’s voice cut through the haze in your mind, pulling you back to the present. “This is Y/N, the amazing woman I’ve been telling you all about, and the love of my life.”

Jungkook’s tone was joyful and proud as he kissed your cheek. You tore your eyes away from Mingyu, forcing a smile and trying to steady your breathing. Meeting the gazes of the guys around the table, you spoke, your voice steadier than you felt. “Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you all.”

“Babe, this is Yugyeom, Bambam, Chan, Eunwoo, Jaehyun, Seokmin, Minghao… and Mingyu,” Jungkook introduced, oblivious to the tension simmering beneath the surface.

Mingyu stood up almost immediately, one of his long legs hitting the edge of the table, causing the silverware to rattle. He offered you a polite smile, but you noticed the tightness in his jaw, the way his eyes avoided yours as he reached out to shake your hand across the table.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Y/N,” he said, his voice calm and measured, as though nothing was out of the ordinary, giving nothing away.

Your hand trembled slightly as you shook his, the contact sending a jolt of electricity through your body that you desperately tried to ignore. Heart racing, you managed to reply, your voice barely above a whisper as you forced a smile, “You too, Mingyu.”

Clenching your teeth, you fought against the shiver that coursed through your body, your nipples hardening despite your will. Memories flooded back in flashes, like a kaleidoscope of moments—the way his fingers felt inside you, on you, touching and caressing, guiding you to most the earth-shattering nights of your life.

Your hands lingered together for just a moment, you mind racing as you tried to gauge his reaction. Was he going to say something? Did he really remember you?

The rest of the introductions faded into a blur. As everyone took their seats, you found yourself sitting directly across from Mingyu, the small proximity only heightened your awareness of him. You could feel his gaze on you, even though he was careful not to let it linger too long. 

Jungkook sat beside you, his hand resting comfortably on your thigh under the table—a gesture that usually made you feel secure. But tonight, it felt like a reminder of the terrible situation you had suddenly found yourself in. 

You now hated yourself for not saying something to Jungkook before tonight. 

Of course, you hadn’t known Jungkook when Mingyu came into your life, but now that you knew both of them, shouldn't you have said something? 

And what would you even say? 

That his best friend had once stirred feelings in you so intense that they haunted you? That you spent years trying to erase the memory of his touch? That all those years ago, it was as if Mingyu hadn’t just claimed your body but your soul? 

A wave of nausea hit you suddenly, and you swallowed hard, trying to push it down.

As the conversation flowed around, you tried to focus on the others, to be present in the moment. You had to keep yourself occupied, or your sanity would begin to fray. And the other boys were more than happy to help you with that. They were very kind, funny and welcoming, and despite your tension, you found yourself slowly warming up to them. 

Jaehyun was charming and amusing; Seokmin was full of energy, making you feel more at ease with his laid-back attitude; Eunwoo was sweet but a little shy; Chan was outgoing and warm-hearted; Yugyeom was bubbly, relentlessly teasing Jungkook throughout dinner, while Bambam was clearly the life of the group—loud, hilarious, and making you laugh with his playful banter and jokes, easing some of the tension you’d been carrying since you arrived. Minghao, on the other hand, was more subdued but quick-witted, throwing in sarcastic comments and showing a genuine interest in you.

They all seemed genuinely happy to meet you, and you found yourself laughing at their stories, trying to relax.

“So, what do you do for a living?” Bambam asked. “We gotta know if you’re doing something cooler than us.” 

You chuckled softly. “Right now I'm between jobs. I mainly work as a tour stylist, but recently I’ve started getting into some editorial work too, for Elle Magazine.” 

"Oh, so you know Chaeyoung?" Eunwoo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Chaeyoung?" you echoed, unsure.

"Rosé, babe," Jungkook leaned in and whispered.

"Oh, right! Yeah, I was responsible for her outfits in the Elle June issue. We spent the whole day together—she’s really sweet." 

"She's part of our group too," Jungkook explained with a grin, "but you'll meet the girls another day."

"They're a separate event," Jaehyun joked and you laughed. 

“What do you like more? Touring or editorial?” Yugyeom asked, looking genuinely interested.

“Touring, definitely,” you replied, your face lighting up as you spoke about your job. "It’s incredible, and I get to do the other thing I love most—traveling."

“Wow,” Seokmin outed, sounding genuinely impressed. “What do you do when artists go on tour?”

“The months prior to a tour I coordinate the designers and do the talks with brands for custom pieces or partnerships," you began to explain. “During the tour, I oversee the team of dresses who help with costume changes and ensure costumes are functional for performances.”

“She’s so much cooler than you, Jungkook-ah.” Bambam said, pointing at Jungkook, who just shrugged.

“I can't argue with that.” 

“What artists have you worked with?” Chan piped in, eyes gleaming with amusement.

“Mostly westerners. Little Mix, Dua Lipa, Ariana Gran—”

“So how did you two meet?” The question came up suddenly from the far end of the table, interrupting what you were saying and making your breath catch.

You shifted your gaze toward Mingyu, who leaned across the table with his eyebrows arched, head resting in the palm of his hand. Curiosity—and something more—sparkled in his eyes. Until that moment, he had been the picture of composure, engaging in conversation easily, his voice smooth and confident as he chatted with Jungkook and the other guys, but never with you.

Right now, however, you could see the tension in his jaw and the way the muscles in his forearm flexed, fingers tightened around his wine glass as he said, “Jungkook’s been pretty quiet about it, keeping us all in suspense.”

You hesitated for a moment, his tone sharp and unsettling, the bluntness of his question throwing you off balance. It was exactly the conversation you'd been avoiding, knowing it could lead to Mingyu prying into things you weren’t ready to share in his presence. 

You glanced at Jungkook, who smiled encouragingly and gave your thigh a reassuring squeeze under the table.

“Well, we actually met when I was working temporarily with BTS during the PTD on Stage shows here in the city," you said, keeping your voice steady, though inside you were bracing yourself. You turned your attention to your boyfriend’s face, forcing yourself not to let Mingyu's presence intimidate you, though it was becoming harder with every passing second. "It was supposed to be just for those shows, but I ended up staying with them until PTD in Las Vegas.”

“HYBE really loved her work, but I think I loved it more than anyone,” Jungkook said with a big smile, his hand gently caressing the inside of your thigh. His eyes met yours, and you exchanged a warm smile. “We got to talk one night after one of the concerts in LA, and…”

“It just felt right,” you concluded, smiling at the man on your left.

“Wow,” Yugyeom said with a grin, his eyes sparkling with amusement. You couldn’t help but notice how similar his smile was to Jungkook’s—very bunny-like. “That sounds like something out of a drama.”

“Doesn’t it?” Jungkook said rhetorically, his eyes never leaving your face. 

You laughed softly, feeling the warmth in his gaze. “I guess it does. Life has a funny way of writing its own scripts.”

Tonight was the greatest proof of that, you thought, as Mingyu's gaze seared into the left side of your face. 

You stole a glance in his direction, catching him watching you closely. His expression was unreadable, but the tense set of his jaw gave you all the confirmation you needed—his own question had backfired, and this conversation was clearly affecting him, and not in the "I’m-happy-for-my-best-friend" kind of way. 

Then he abruptly turned his attention away when Minghao leaned in to whisper something in his ear.

"She’s got a point," Jungkook said, leaning back in his chair with a smirk as he pointed at Eunwoo. "You’ve probably started enough dramas to know how this plays out, huh?"

The man chuckled. "To be honest, it does sound like fate.”

Jungkook glanced at you with a smile that made your heart flutter even more. But before you could respond to Eunwoo, Mingyu’s voice cut in, accompanied by a wry smirk. “Real cinematic. Almost too good to be true, right?”

“It really was kind of perfect,” Jungkook said, smiling down at you again and completely oblivious to his friend's ironic tone."Fate or not, I’m just glad it happened."

The boys instantly started imitating Jungkook’s voice, making obnoxious noises and exaggerated smooching sounds. You forced a smile, trying to ignore the way Mingyu’s words lingered above you, heavy with unspoken meaning.

His eyes remained fixed on you, but he leaned back in his chair, feigning casual interest. “I see. Well, it’s surprising that you didn’t run into us at the concert here in Seoul, too, since we were there. I guess fate decided to keep things interesting.”

Once again, his words were tinged with irony, and though he didn’t directly address it, the implication was clear as the day for you. Your heart raced as you fought to maintain your composure. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

Just then, Jaehyun flashed you a warm smile and asked, “So, Y/N, are you from around here?” 

You shook your head. “No, actually. I’m originally from Gwangju, but I lived in the UK for almost my entire life before deciding to move back here.”

“Really?” Jaehyun said, clearly intrigued. “What brought you back?”

“Just felt like the right time,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “Sometimes you need a change of pace, you know?”

Jaehyun nodded thoughtfully. “I get that. It’s nice to have a fresh start every now and then.”

"How many countries have you visited while working?” Yugyeom asked, taking your focus off Jaehyun. “Must be nice traveling to so many places." 

"Oh, it is. There are so many places that I couldn't name them all at once. The last time I was in Brazil with–”

“Have you ever been to Osaka, Y/N?” Sensing an opening, Mingyu threw the question at you, his eyebrows raised, your name rolling out of his tongue slowly. His smirk didn’t waver as he leaned forward slightly, eyes gleaming with the kind of knowledge only the two of you shared. “Osaka is really nice.”

You winced at the chill in his words, desperately searching his eyes for the tenderness that once resided in those brown depths. But all you found were dark, empty eyes that swiftly brought back memories of your time together.

Suddenly, your heart skipped a beat, the memory of those three days in Osaka flashing through your mind like a neon sign in the dark. He didn’t mention it—he wouldn’t—but the way he phrased the question made it clear what was hovering between the two of you. You didn’t know what game Mingyu wanted to play tonight, but it was suddenly driving you crazy. 

Everyone at the table turned their eyes to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, since he brought up Osaka out of nowhere. 

It was Bambam who voiced the question. “Osaka? She just said she was in Brazil, and you're stuck in Osaka?” he laughed. “You’ve been to Osaka hundreds of times, bro. Let’s hear about Brazil, please.”

Throughout the rest of the dinner, conversation and laughter filled the air. You tried your best to focus, to be present and engaged, but it didn’t matter how hard you tried, it was difficult to concentrate. Your mind kept drifting back to Mingyu, the tension between you palpable, even though neither of you acknowledged it. The others made you feel at ease, but Mingyu’s presence cast a shadow over your excitement.

And as if his mere presence wasn’t enough to overwhelm you, his smooth gestures and deep, husky laughter stirred memories you were desperately trying to forget.

You couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes burning into you, now and then. Every so often, you would catch Mingyu looking at you, his gaze lingering just a little too long before he looked away. And every time your eyes met across the table, it sent a jolt through your system; your heart skipped a beat again and again, your mind a whirlwind of emotions, a jumbled mess of past and present. You couldn’t believe this was happening—of all the people in the world, Mingyu had to be Jungkook’s best friend.

It was so obvious that you weren’t the only one affected by this. You could see the tension in Mingyu’s shoulders, the way he kept his responses short, his attention drifting elsewhere. He was as shaken by this unexpected reunion as you were, and knowing that only made you feel more unsettled.

You loved Jungkook so much, you reminded yourself over and over. You were with him now, and that was all that mattered.

“Jungkook’s been so happy since you two got together,” Eunwoo leaned in closer, lowering his voice beneath the hum of conversation. His warm gaze focused on you as he whispered, grounding you again. “It’s really nice to see.”

A lump rose in your throat, the warmth of Eunwoo’s words a sharp contrast to the cold tension swirling inside you. Forcing a smile, you replied, “He makes me really happy too. The happiest, actually.”

It was true—you knew that. But right now, it felt like you were trying to convince yourself more than reaffirm it, and you hated yourself for it.

As the night went on, the tension in your chest never eased. It felt like guilt was eating you alive. Maybe you were overreacting—after all, it wasn’t like you had any feelings for Mingyu anyway. Maybe you should have told Jungkook from the start. Maybe he wouldn’t have reacted the way you feared, and everything would have been fine. The two of you would have laughed at the coincidence, and life would have gone on.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

But now it was too late, you thought to yourself—you were already here. You and Mingyu had already spent most of the night pretending you didn’t know each other, as if nothing extraordinary had happened four years ago. There was no way Jungkook wouldn’t find the situation strange.

Did that make you a cheater? You had wrestled with the question through the night, guilt gnawing at you, even if there was no betrayal in the technical sense. 

This wasn’t the kind of thing you could confess without destroying everything. It wasn’t something you could admit even to yourself without breaking. But the memory clung to you, no matter how hard you tried to bury it. And the weight of it was unbearable now, sitting in a room with both of them, feeling like you were betraying Jungkook just by being reminded of a past you could never speak of. 

Not with him, anyway. 

Sitting among your boyfriend's friends in silence, you felt like the worst person in the world. Although the rest of dinner flowed with lighthearted conversation, your heart raced every time Jungkook brought up something about your relationship that could give Mingyu space for interrogation.

And that continued until the conversation suddenly shifted.

“So, Mingyu, you still haven’t spilled the details about what went down between you and Sanghee," Yugyeom said, turning all eyes toward his friend. “Spill, already.” 

"Who’s Sanghee?" Bambam mumbled through a mouthful of rice.

“She’s that friend I set him up with on a blind date about three weeks ago," Yugyeom explained and all of a sudden, it seemed like the whole table had remembered a very important topic to be discussed: Mingyu’s love life. “She’s a dancer for YG.”

You took a long sip of your wine, trying to drown the strange knot tightening in your stomach. A confusing mix of warmth and bittersweet unease creeping through your veins, leaving you momentarily disoriented. 

Jealousy? Seriously? 

The thought hit you like a wave, catching you off guard. You had no reason to feel this way, but the unsettling twinge in your chest was undeniable. You shook your head, trying to push the feeling aside. You didn’t even know him anymore. It wasn’t fair to you or him to be feeling this way. But most of all, it wasn’t fair to Jungkook. Yet the thought of Mingyu being with someone else had every muscle in your body tensing, rejecting the idea completely in a crazy possessive way. 

"Wait, you're dating again?" Jungkook asked, genuinely surprised and you lowered your gaze to your plate, trying to tune out the conversation, even though a part of you wondered what he meant with again. "I had no idea, man. That's good for you!"

Mingyu’s tone was sharp, clearly meant as a jab, as he replied to your boyfriend. "Well, of course you wouldn't know. We’ve barely seen you these past six months."

"But for a good reason, so you're off the hook," Seokmin said with a wink in your and Jungkook’s direction, quickly easing the tension. "Anyway, it's awesome that Mingyu's getting back into dating. Four years is a long time."

You froze, a chill running through you. That couldn't be right. You must've misheard.

Slowly, you lifted your head, just in time to catch Minghao wrapping an arm around Mingyu, as if offering quiet support. "He had to move on eventually, you know."

"Seriously, dude," Eunwoo chimed in, shaking his head. "I’m starting to think that girl you met in Osaka is a figment of your imagination. No way you’d stay hung up for four years over someone you only spent three days with."

Mingyu’s face flushed, and it was obvious he knew you were staring—he avoided your gaze, and for the first time tonight, he was looking everywhere but at you. Still, you couldn’t help but watch him from beneath your lowered lashes, struggling to make sense of your feelings right now.

To your surprise, he glanced your way for just a second before turning his attention back to the guys. 

"Could you all shut up for a moment?" His gaze landed on Jungkook, then Yugyeom. "And no, I'm not dating again. Sanghee was a little annoying, to be honest. She only wanted to talk about things that didn't interest me”

Yugyeom let out an exasperated sigh, throwing his head back. "You’re way too damn picky, man. Seriously, just choose someone and date them already!"

"I'm not picky, I just know what I want." He leaned back in his chair with a casual shrug and turned his gaze to you. You quickly looked away, but he pressed on. "I've already said it: I'm looking for someone I can genuinely connect with. Someone kind-hearted and easy-going."

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like the girl from Osaka."

Mingyu shrugged. "Exactly like her."

You swallowed hard, leaning your head against your boyfriend's shoulder, using him as support to try to erase the thoughts racing through your mind at full speed. 

What the fuck was going on and why was he saying all these things?

"Mingyu met a girl in Osaka, like, five years ago? And he's never shut up about her since," Jungkook whispered, trying to include you in their conversation. "He hardly ever dates anyone because of her, so it’s always a reason to celebrate."

You forced a smile, bringing the glass to your lips as you replied, "She seems like a special girl." 

Jungkook smiled softly at you, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "I bet she is.

The conversation went on and then shifted, turning to the new drama Eunwoo was preparing to film over the summer. When dessert was served, you excused yourself to the bathroom, needing a moment to collect your thoughts and breathe. You slipped quietly out of your chair, walking down the dimly lit hallway outside the restroom, your heart still racing as you closed the door behind you. 

You immediately leaned against the sink, gripping its edge tightly as you stared at your reflection, your pulse thrumming in your ears as you cursed loudly. “Fuck.”

What the hell was going on? Why was Mingyu trying to confuse you with all these things, after everything that happened the morning he left Osaka? What did he stand to gain from this? He was the one who set the boundary, who made it clear that the past needed to stay buried. So why now, of all times, was he stirring it all back up? None of it made sense, and the more you tried to piece it together, the more it felt like the ground was shifting beneath your feet.

You loved Jungkook. You knew that. You were in love with him, with the life you had begun to build together. The perfect bubble you had created around yourselves, one that no one seemed able to burst. You’d spent six months like this—entwined in each other as if your very lives depended on it—and even now, you were still eager to celebrate this milestone by yourselfs the moment you step out of here.

Yet, seeing Mingyu tonight took a toll on you. 

There had always been something about him, something intangible that tugged at your soul in ways you could never fully explain. Now, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t quite remember what it was. It was maddening; the way the memory of him from four years ago slipped through your fingers all night, yet still sent your mind spinning uncontrollably. Deep down, you knew it was the same force that had once made your heart surrender so easily, the same pull that left you defenseless all those years ago.

You splashed water on your face, hoping to wash away your thoughts, trying desperately to clear your mind and come to your senses. But no matter how cold the water was, the anxious feelings remained, stubborn and unshakable.

Drying your face with a towel, you tossed it into the basket and took a deep breath. Closing your eyes for a moment, you tried to pull yourself together before heading back out there to face the rest of the evening with nothing but a big, stupid smile on your face, doing what you seemed so good at: pretending.

You stayed in the bathroom a few more minutes, pressing your palms to your cheeks to cool the flush that had risen as you steadied your breathing. You needed to get back to Jungkook as soon as possible—back to the reality you had chosen, back to celebrating your six-month anniversary together with his friends.

But as soon as you rounded the corner, you almost collided with a solid figure.

“Whoa!” you exclaimed, stumbling back slightly before steadying yourself. “I’m sorry, I—” 

You stopped talking immediately when you looked up and met the one person you least wanted to see right now. Panic coursed through you, and you instinctively dodged, forcing yourself to start walking again without saying a word. 

But you were quickly halted when a hand landed on your forearm. The sudden touch sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of surprise and an unwanted spark of familiarity that you couldn't shake off. It was the faintest brush against your arm, but the sensation lingered, sending your pulse into a wild rhythm. 

How could such a small touch feel so electric? 

You quickly pulled your arm away, but didn’t take a step, frozen in place with him just behind you.

“Y/N,” Mingyu whispered, his voice husky in urgency. “Can we talk?”

Your heart sank. The last thing you wanted was to be cornered right now, especially after everything that had been said at the table just a couple of minutes ago.

Slowly, you turned to face him, heart racing as a flood of emotions threatened to overwhelm you just by a single touch. In that moment, all the thoughts you had tried to suppress tonight came rushing back, and you found yourself caught between the instinct to flee and the magnetic pull of his presence. 

“I… I really can’t,” you replied, voice firm but slightly wavering.

“Please,” he said, stepping closer, the intensity of his gaze making it hard for you to breathe. “I just need a moment. Just to talk.”

You shook your head no, mind fighting with all the reasons why this was a terrible idea. “Mingyu, it’s not a good time. I’m with Jungkook, and—”

“I know you’re with him,” he interrupted, his voice rising slightly. “But that’s not what this is about. It’s about us.”

“What happened is in the past,” you stated, feeling a rush of frustration. “This won't change just because we ran into each other.”

His expression softened, a mixture of regret and longing. “It’s not that simple, and you know it. We…”

He stopped talking for a moment and for a second, just stood there, his gaze fixed on your face with intensity. He didn’t say anything, but the way he looked at you it was as if he hadn’t really seen you until this moment. His eyes roamed over your face, down to the way the red dress clung to your body, and back up again, like he was memorizing every inch of you, like you was something he couldn’t quite believe was real. 

Your pulse thumped loudly in your ears. The proximity between you was unbearable. He was too close, his scent too familiar, the memories flooding back with every breath taken as if the ones that haunted you through this night weren't enough. 

It had been four years, but suddenly it felt like it had all happened yesterday.

Mingyu stepped closer, so close now that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. Your breath caught in your throat, your pulse thudding wildly as his eyes met yours once again. There was something in his gaze, something raw and unspoken, that made the air between you hum with electricity. He was looking at you like he’d been waiting all night just to get this close, like being in the same room hadn’t been enough until now.

“You…” Mingyu’s voice was rough, almost strained, his eyes never leaving yours. “You look… different.”

“Mingyu…” you started, but your voice trailed off, unsure of what to say.

You knew what he meant. It wasn’t about the dress or the fact that your hair had grown long since the last time you had seen each other. He meant something deeper, something you both felt but neither could acknowledge. As you met his gaze, the weight of that understanding settled over you.

“You… look good,” he said, his voice quieter than before, but it still carried the same roughness that sent a shiver down your spine. 

You smiled softly, tilting your head to the side. You wanted to say so many things to him, but all that could come out of your lips was, “Thank you. You look good too.” 

The silence stretched between you, heavy with everything you couldn’t say. You could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the flicker of hope clouded by the reality of your lives now. 

“Mingyu,” you started, unsure of how to express the conflict inside you. “Listen, I…”

But before you could finish, somebody turned around the corner, interrupting your moment, making you jump slightly. Your heart started racing again, the reality of your situation crashing back down on you. Anticipation clenched in your stomach. You had to get out of here. 

“Minghao. Hi.”

Minghao smiled at both of you immediately, stopping in his tracks, his curious gaze locking onto yours. “Sorry about that,” he said with a chuckle, stepping aside to let you pass. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine.” You said, mirroring his smile. “No worries.”

Then you made a move to walk past him, eager to return to the safety of the dinner table, to Jungkook, but Minghao didn’t let you go so easily. His eyes narrowed slightly as he asked, “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, I just needed to freshen up.” You replied, glancing toward the dining area of the restaurant where you could hear Jungkook’s voice and the others still laughing, still blissfully unaware of the storm that had just brewed in your mind. 

“Are you two okay?” Minghao asked, glancing between you with a raised eyebrow. 

You nodded quickly. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

He didn't look convinced. “Did I interrupt something?” 

“We’re just catching up,” Mingyu replied, his expression shifting, the vulnerability from moments ago replaced by a guarded look. The casualness in his voice stood in stark contrast to the heaviness that had hung between you seconds earlier. “I had to know if she passed the test to be Jungkookie's girlfriend.”

Mingyu let out a light laugh as he spoke and Minghao nodded, though he didn’t seem convinced. There was a curious glint in his eyes, as if he were trying to piece something together. He studied your face intently, his brows furrowing in thought, like a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve.

“You know,” he started, his voice thoughtful, “you look really familiar. Have we met before?”

Your breath caught in your throat, heart skipping a beat for what it felt like the hundredth time this evening. The way he said it, the way his eyes held yours—it sent a chill down your spine. The distant familiarity in his eyes unsettled you all of a sudden, and you felt a knot tighten in your stomach.

You quickly glanced at Mingyu, then back at Minghao, swallowing hard, the weight of his gaze suddenly becoming too much for you to handle, because you knew exactly where he recognized you from. 

That day at the airport, the very last day, four years ago. The day you had said goodbye to Mingyu, heart in pieces, believing you’d probably never see him ever again. Minghao had been there, along with the other members of Seventeen. Far away, but there. He had probably seen it. He probably knew.

Panic bubbled in your chest, but you fought to keep your expression neutral. You forced a laugh, shaking your head as you carefully replied, "I don’t think so. I think I’d remember."

“You’d be surprised,” Minghao’s eyes narrowed slightly, as if your reaction to his question had only deepened his suspicion. He chuckled softly, but his eyes stayed on yours, sharp with thought. “I’m terrible with names, but faces? I never forget a face.”

He looked like he was going to say something else, but then he tilted his head, studying your face a little bit more. He glanced at Mingyu slightly and there was a beat of silence between the three of you. All of sudden, you felt your pulse quickening again. This night looked like it would be one that would land you in the hospital with the onset of a cardiac arrest. 

“Maybe we’ve crossed paths somewhere,” you said, trying to sound as casual as possible. “But I don’t think we’ve officially met before tonight.”

“Hmm, maybe,” he mused, glancing past you for a second before returning his focus back to your face. There was something knowing in it, something that made you feel sick. This couldn’t be happening. Then Minghao’s expression shifted, as if a light had just switched on in his mind. “Japan! Ha! Have you ever been to Japan?”

“I, uh…” you stammered slightly, trying to keep your cool. “Yeah, I’ve been. For work.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. You had met Mingyu during your time off while the singer you worked for was on tour.

He nodded slowly, like he was piecing something together. “Right.” 

Minghao's eyes lingered on yours, and you had the distinct feeling that he was seeing right through your attempt at casual conversation. 

But to your relief, he didn’t press the subject further. Instead, he just shrugged. “Well, I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually,” he said, his tone hinting at something unspoken. He smiled as he stepped aside, gesturing toward the dining room. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to Jungkook. Enjoy the rest of your night, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Minghao.” You mumble quickly, as he stepped into the men’s restroom after lightly touching Mingyu's shoulder and smiling at his friend. You took a deep breath, eyes meeting Mingyu’s again. “I should go,” you said, your voice steadier than you felt. “I really need to—”

“Wait,” he interrupted you, his tone suddenly serious. “Can we… can we talk later? Somewhere private?”

You hesitated, the conflict within you flaring up again. Minghao's words and gaze had completely thrown you off balance. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Please,” Mingyu said, his voice dropping to a whisper, a plea that struck deep within you. “I just need to see you again. Just to talk.”

“I’ll think about it,” you replied, taking one last look at him before you walked back toward the table. 

Every step felt heavy, your mind racing with thoughts you wished you could push away as you made your way back to Jungkook. Did Minghao know? Was he just playing with you, or had he already connected the dots? Has he really recognized you? Was it possible that he had seen you in the airport with Mingyu? 

You simply couldn’t afford to think about that right now. Not with Jungkook looking so happy, waiting for you at the table, surrounded by his closest friends. For now, you had to push everything aside, pretend like the past hadn’t crashed into your life tonight. 

As you neared the dining area of the restaurant, the sound of laughter greeted you, and for a moment, the weight on your chest lightened. Jungkook spotted you immediately, his face lighting up as he waved you over. 

You observed that boys had spread out. Seokmin, Bambam and Yugyeom were huddled around the karaoke machine, laughing and dancing to the soft ballad playing in the background. Eunwoo, Jaehyun and Chan sat nearby Jungkook, deep in conversation, while there was no sign of Mingyu coming behind you. 

When you reached the table, Jungkook turned fully toward you, flashing that familiar boyish smile, the one that always made your heart swell. It was effortless, the way he could make you feel safe with just a look, as if the entire world faded away and it was only the two of you.

He extended his hands, pulling you close to seat on his lap, his voice soft and affectionate as he murmured, “There you are. I was starting to miss you.”

You genuinely smiled, the sound of his voice grounding you in the presente, exactly where you should be. You had to focus on him. On your six-month anniversary. On the life you had built together, even if ghosts from your past were insisting on creeping back in. 

He wrapped his arms around you, drawing you as close as he could. “You okay?”

The warmth of his embrace and the tenderness in his words wrapped around you like a protective shield, momentarily easing the tension inside you. You melted into his embrace, resting your head against his shoulder and allowing yourself to sink into the comfort he always provided you, grateful for his touch on your skin. “Never been better.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jungkook whispered, his words filled with sincerity as he pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head. “You make everything better, you know?”

You smiled at him again, though this time it felt fragile, like it could shatter at any moment.

“I’m glad too.” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

He smiled big. “I love you more.”

You shook your head, tears suddenly welling up, pushing against your resolve. "No," you whispered, your voice trembling as you fought to hold them back. You couldn't tell what it was. Whether it was the events of  tonight that had left you feeling so overwhelmed, or if it was simply because you loved this man with every fiber of your being that it couldn't be possible for there to be a love greater than that. "It’s not possible."

Everything inside you felt tangled—love, guilt, confusion—blurring the lines between what was real and what you were trying to push away.

“Yes, it is,” he said, head tilted to the side as he examined your face, his eyes and voice soft with concern, while you sank deeper into his shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

"Nothing," you whispered, forcing a small smile as you blinked away the tears. "They're tears of happiness, I promise. I'm just happy that we're here and together."

“Babe, this has been the happiest six months of my life.”

Your heart clenched. Six months. It was supposed to feel like a celebration, but all you felt right now was guilt weighing on you.

“Mine too,” you whispered back, mind far from settled.

Jungkook pressed a gentle kiss to your temple. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You laughed, despite the sincerity in his voice, burying more of your face in his neck and closing your eyes to inhale the scent you loved—his. “Are you drunk right now, mister?”

“Just a little bit,” he chuckled. “But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“I feel the same way, baby,” you said, hoping the words would steady you. 

He leaned closer, moving your hair away from the back of your neck to leave a trail of kisses there, voice a little rough. “And the way you look in this dress? Absolutely perfect and mesmerizing. I’d say you’re turning heads tonight.”

Your heart raced with joy at his compliment, heat rising to your cheeks. “You’re not too shabby yourself,” you teased, letting your gaze linger on him. “So handsome,” You pressed a kiss to his shoulder, the fabric of his shirt soft beneath your lips. “So hot. It’s no wonder Calvin Klein wants you as their new brand ambassador.”

He chuckled, a low, playful sound that sent a thrill through you. “Careful, babe. If you keep complimenting and kissing me like this, I might have to take you somewhere else.” His tone was flirtatious and tinged with mischief, causing a flutter deep within you at the thought.

You bit your lip, lifting your head from his neck as your hands caressed his face, fingers tracing the outline of his jaw and lip ring. Leaning in closer, you raised an eyebrow, your voice soft and teasing. “Is that a promise?”

“Mhmm…” 

Your faces were inches apart, the warmth of his breath sending pleasurable shivers down your spine. There was electricity in the air, a palpable tension that danced between you, wrapping around you like a silken thread. In that brief moment, it felt like you were the only two people in the room, the rest of the world fading away. 

You swept his hair back, savoring every detail—the curve of his lips, the intensity in his eyes, the magnetic pull of his gaze. The urge to lose yourself in him was always so powerful. With a teasing flick of your tongue, you traced his lips, biting his lip ring, and he parted them willingly. A smile played at your mouth as you pulled back provocatively, but his lips chased yours immediately, hands slipping to the back of your neck, pulling you close. This time, you surrendered to him completely, feeling his smirk press against your mouth as you gave in.

Your eyes fluttered shut, breath catching as his soft lips pressed into yours, stealing the air right from your lungs. As you moved in, your tongue met his in a playful, lingering dance. The warmth of the kiss sparked something deep inside, each gentle caress a silent promise to savor every second together.

Still seated on his lap, your hands pressed to his chest, fingertips grazing over the firm planes beneath, as each languid pull of his lips melted you further .Jungkook’s hands squeezed your hips, urging you even tighter against him. The cool touch of his lip ring sent a thrill through you with every brush, a tantalizing contrast to the heat building between you.

Your hands slid up, fingers lacing behind his neck as your nails grazed his skin, slipping into his hair with a gentle tug. But just as you were close to getting more lost in each other, a piece of bread sailed through the air, smacking Jungkook on the head. You both broke the kiss, turning quickly to see where the unexpected interruption had come from.

Eunwoo, Jaehyun and Chan observed you with amused expressions, joined by the others on the other side of the room.

Crossing his arms over his chest, a teasing smile playing on his lips as he stared at you, Jaehyun said, “Aren’t you two awfully cozy over there?” 

“Seriously, get a room!” Yugyeom shouted across the nearly empty restaurant. 

“And don’t forget we’re still here, please.” Chan spoke, raising an eyebrow and grinning.

The others joined in with laughter, their teasing breaking the intimate bubble you and Jungkook had momentarily created. Your cheeks warmed even more as you buried your face in Jungkook’s shoulder again, caught between embarrassment and amusement.

“Yeah, okay, okay!” Jungkook said, laughing as he pulled back slightly, still holding you on his lap. “Can’t blame us for trying to celebrate our anniversary!”

“Right, right,” Eunwoo said, smirking. “Just don’t do it with us watching, yeah?”

As laughter filled the air, you felt the warmth of Jungkook’s arm around your waist, anchoring you to him amidst the joyful chaos.

But just then, you couldn’t help but let your gaze drift across the table. Drawn by an invisible thread, your eyes locked onto Mingyu’s. He was there again, clearly forcing a laugh as he stared at you. Your heart raced, the laughter around you fading into a distant murmur. Mingyu’s expression was unreadable yet charged, a blend of warmth and something profound swirling between you, and suddenly the light atmosphere seemed to shift again.

“Babe?” Jungkook’s voice pulled you back, concern etched across his features as he noticed your distraction. “What’s wrong?”

You blinked, forcing yourself to focus on him again, the affection in his eyes steadying you again. And then you lie, feeling like the worst person in the world again. “Nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook pressed, his brow furrowing. ”You're not uncomfortable, are you?”

“No. Really, I’m okay.” you insisted, the words slipping out a little too quickly as your eyes met his. 

Eventually, as the night wore on, your head nestled against Jungkook’s shoulder, the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat started to lull you into a sleeping state. He turned to you, a gentle smile on his face. “So, what do you say we call it a night? I think we’ve celebrated enough for one evening.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you replied, your heart swelling with affection.

Jungkook pulled you close, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

If you liked this feel free to let me know with a like, reblog, comment, whatever you prefer! ❤️

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[azrielandhisshadows]

winter's kiss (2)

pairing: azriel x reader

word count: 1.8k

summary: after finding your mate at the High Lords meeting, you go through all the emotions that come with it, only, your older brother, Kallias, isn't happy about who your mate is. emotional chaos and distress ensues.

warnings: overprotective Kallias, beginnings of a panic attack, brief mentions of torture/death

a/n: I had fun writing this second part. please let me know what you think and if you have any requests, feel free to leave them! if you want to be added to a taglist for this series, let me know!

part 1 part 3 part 4 part 5

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All attention remained on you and Azriel as your stares bore into each other. His eyes expressed an untold depth of emotion. You reached out for him, desperate to bridge the space between you and your mate. Kallais’s supportive touch changed to a tight grip around your arm.

“Kallias,” you whimpered, the pain evident in your voice. “You’re hurting me.” 

Kallias’s grip softened slightly, but he didn’t relent as he led you away from the group. His jaw was set with a tension unlike anything you had seen from your usually calm brother. A deep, primal growl rumbled from Azriel’s chest as he raced forward, his instincts in overdrive.

Cassian and Rhysand acted swiftly and placed themselves into Azriel’s path. Forming a strong barrier, they stopped him before he could slam his body into Kallias. “Az, please stop. Don’t do anything you’ll regret,” Rhysand said, his voice an urgent command.

Azriel stepped away, his posture tense as he struggled to contain his rage. His simmering fury melted away as he looked at you, his eyes filled with worry as he watched Kallias drag you farther away. 

“Kallias, please let me go,” you choked out as the golden thread of your mating bond urged you toward Azriel. “Y/N, I don’t want you around him. We’ll discuss this after the meeting,” Kallias spat out. Viviane shot him a look of disapproval, “Kallias, you can’t possibly expect to keep her away from her mate. What would you do if someone kept us away from each-“

“Viviane, enough. I am your High Lord. Do not question me,” Kallias bit out. Viviane let out an exasperated sigh and sat next to you. She placed an arm around your shoulder and let you lean into her. As the other High Lords filtered into the room, you couldn’t help but lean into Viviane as your eyes welled with tears.

The meeting, once longed for, became distant as your thoughts were focused on the presence of your mate. Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard, “Be careful how you speak about my High Lady,” come from across the room. The once golden thread connecting you to Azriel was filled with an unmistakable edge as he glared toward the High Lord of Spring. The command that flowed from your mate overwhelmed you as you leaned more into Viviane for comfort. 

As the meeting proceeded, Azriel’s attention returned to you. The rage and intimidation that once flowed from his posture ceased as he looked at you. You felt a pull from the bond that linked you to him, as if he could feel your discomfort from the scene that had played in front of you. He looked at you, his eyes filled with concern.

You looked away, unable to meet his gaze. The instincts from the mating bond made your heart long for Azriel, but you couldn’t help wondering if your mate’s temper was always so volatile. You wondered how much Kallias knew of your new-found mate and if his knowledge contributed to his protective nature as the reveal of your mating bond. Looking toward your mate once more, you noticed Azriel’s saddened gaze focused on the ground. 

When the meeting drew to a close, you stood from your seat and began to walk towards Azriel. Before you could make it far, Kallias’s grip on your arm returned and led you away from the meeting room. He led you toward your room with Viviane at your side. As the door to your room slammed shut, the tension between the three of you was thick enough that it felt hard to breathe. Silence reigned between you and Kallias as you both looked at each other, waiting for someone to break the quiet. Viviane sighed, “Kallias, explain yourself.”

Kallias, his face wrought with tension and frustration, paced in front of the bed where Viviane sat comforting you. “Y/N, I am doing this for your safety. I have heard… terrible things about Azriel. He is a monster.” Confusion etched your features as you looked at your brother, your voice trembling, “I… I don’t understand.” 

“His role in the Night Court is based on pure violence. He is the Spymaster, Y/N. If anyone has information that benefits the Court and will not share it, he tortures them… and once he is done, he disposes of them.” Kallias trailed off, struggling to make eye contact with you. You choked out a breath as you sat and tried to process this information. The mating bond was supposed to be between two fae of equal power. If your mate was capable of such darkness, what did that mean about your power? You had always been in great control of your power, but in this moment, you couldn’t help but feel your hands begin to grow cold as the ice started to creep out. 

Kallias’s words hung in the room as an overwhelming presence. The statements he made about Azriel weighed heavily on you. The comfort and light that you had felt from your mating bond turned distant and cold against the reality of what Kallias described. Viviane’s comforting presence didn’t budge as the ice crept up your arms. She placed a soft hand on your shoulder, providing you safety from your inner turmoil.

“Kallias,” Viviane said, disapproval lining her tone. “We can’t judge Azriel based on rumors we’ve heard or on his role in the Night Court. We have all done unspeakable things. Y/N can’t be kept away from her mate because you are afraid.” 

Kallias’s face was grim, “I do not judge him lightly. His role is notorious for its brutality. Viviane, you and I have both seen the effects of it – death to those who do not cooperate. I can’t let Y/N be exposed to that.” 

The ice continued to spread up your arms and across your chest, panic setting in. “If Azriel is truly capable of such darkness, what does that say about my power?” The question was barely a whisper as you voiced your newfound fear. 

Viviane and Kallias’s intensity softened with concern as they looked at you. Tears began falling from your eyes, freezing once they hit your hands. “Y/N, you are not a monster.” Kallias said, his voice softening as he pulled you into a comforting embrace. “You and Azriel are equally powerful, but you would never use the powers the Cauldron blessed you with for evil.” 

Viviane leaned closer, her voice steady and supportive. “Kallias, please leave us. I need to talk to Y/N alone.” Kallias hesitated, but Viviane’s stern look made him step back, leaving you and Viviane alone.

“Y/N, look at me,” Viviane urged, gently tilting your head up. “Your brother is right—you are not a monster. You can’t let fear dictate your view of your bond. I don’t know Azriel well, but I do know Mor. From what I’ve heard, Azriel is a good male. His role may involve dark and unspeakable deeds, but he doesn’t take pleasure in them. He doesn’t harm innocents.”

The room was filled with uneasy silence as Viviane’s words settled between you. You struggled to process everything, the ice on your skin a chilling reminder of the fear that clung to you. Viviane’s calm presence was a lifeline, but your mind was still reeling.

“Viviane,” you said, your voice trembling. “I want to believe you, but the things Kallias said—they were so stark. How can I trust that Azriel is different from what I’ve heard?”

Viviane’s eyes softened with sympathy. She reached out and gently took your hands, still cold and icy from your turmoil. “I know it’s overwhelming, Y/N. It’s a lot to handle, but trust me when I say that there’s more to people than the roles they play.”

She paused, giving you a moment to absorb her words. “Mor has shared many stories about Azriel, and while his role as Spymaster is daunting, it doesn’t define the entirety of who he is. He does what is necessary to protect those he loves.”

You tried to focus on Viviane’s words, but the image of Azriel as a torturer loomed large in your mind. “What if I’m wrong about him? What if the bond isn’t enough to make me see who he truly is?”

Viviane shook her head gently, her gaze steady and full of sisterly reassurance. “The bond is more than just a connection of equal power. It’s about understanding, trust, and giving each other the chance to show who you really are. The fact that you’re struggling with this shows how much you care about understanding him, and that’s important.”

She squeezed your hands gently, the warmth from her touch slowly melting the ice that had crept over your skin. “It’s okay to be scared and confused. But remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. You have the right to explore and understand this bond on your own terms.”

The fear didn’t dissipate entirely, but Viviane’s comforting presence helped to shift it. “What if Kallias can’t see past his fears to understand Azriel?”

Viviane glanced at the door, where Kallias had been standing moments before. “Kallias loves you fiercely, Y/N. His fear comes from a place of wanting to protect you. He’s struggling to see beyond his own fears, but ultimately, he wants you to be happy. If pursuing your mating bond will make you happy, Kallias will come to understand your choices, even if your choices differ from what he wants.”

Her words offered a sliver of comfort as your unease dominated your thoughts. “Viviane,” you said, taking a deep breath, “I need some time to process all of this. Thank you for your help.”

Viviane’s expression softened with understanding and she pulled you into a comforting embrace. “Of course. Take all the time you need and, regardless of what you choose, your brother and I are always here for you.”

As Viviane left the room, you couldn’t help but sink into your bed as your fear and confusion overwhelmed you. The crystals of ice on your arms and chest served as a reflection of the chill on your emotions. Your room was unbearably quiet, amplifying the shouting of your racing thoughts. 

Tears streamed down your face as you tried to make sense of everything. The connection with Azriel, once a beacon of comfort, now felt tainted by fear. Exhausted from the emotional turmoil, you lay in your bed, the icy crystals on your skin serving as a reflection of your inner chaos. Just as you were about to slip into a fitful sleep, a soft knock at the door jolted you awake.

With a mix of hope and dread, you opened the door to find Azriel standing there, his hazel eyes filled with concern.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice a soothing balm amidst your distress.

“Azriel…”

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 YOU AND ME (ALWAYS FOREVER)!

FEATURING: dark era!dazai osamu

SUMMARY: more than friends, not quite lovers. that's been your relationship with dazai osamu for as long as you can remember. you didn't want to push him, and you gave him plenty of chances, but there's only so long you can wait for someone. you thought you would be better off moving on—you were wrong, of course. (wordcount: 4.8k; sfw; angst (???) but with a happy ending)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: dark era dazai </3 my heart, i got a sudden urge to write for him and i wanted it to be fluff but then i got this idea and just had to go with it (warnings: fem!reader, smoking & drinking, suicide attempt mentions)

In your defense, you were never dating Dazai Osamu.

Not for a lack of trying on your part, of course. You’ve made your interest in him clear since you met him at sixteen during the Dragon’s Head Conflict, when Mori Ougai pulled you back from where you were stationed in Kyoto dealing with his associates to help with the declining situation in Yokohama. And you’d thought he felt similarly to you. You really did. The two of you had become inseparable within weeks of knowing each other, such a swift and strong connection that it almost felt unreal. You’d heard rumors of him, of course, before coming back to Yokohama—the infamous Demon Prodigy that Mori had brought in and groomed into becoming his heir, ruthless and cold and so terrifyingly intelligent that he had the entire upper echelon of the Port Mafia on edge. 

By the time you got back to Yokohama, he’d already had a heavy reputation following him, dark shadows clinging to him like a second skin. Demon Prodigy. Black Wraith. So many monikers attached to him, but he never really felt like the monster that everyone claimed him to be.

He and Nakahara Chuuya had been the one sent to retrieve you from Yokohama Station, an area very close to the heart of the gang conflict, and even from the first meeting, he’d always been… well, you’re not going to say normal because he’s not normal. He’s always had an unnerving air about him, eyes a bit too cold and dark, smile a bit too teethy, but he’s always come across as just another kid your age. Maybe a bit lonelier than most, which could be off-putting to other people, but it never bothered you. And yes, you’ve seen the way other members of the Mafia treat him—they’re scared of him, go to extreme lengths so as to not cross paths with him, but you’ve never seen him in the same light they do.

Well, not until recently, at least. 

Again. In your defense, you were never dating him. 

But you’d known he cared about you as more than a friend. And you’d cared about him as more than a friend too. And you waited. You waited almost two years for him to say something. You didn’t want to do it yourself, you know Dazai is flighty and he’s not used to emotions, and you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but god, there’s only so much waiting you can take before you start to give up.

When the two year mark hit, you’d become convinced that Dazai was never going to act on his feelings for you; instead, he’d prefer to wait it out until they passed, and if they never did, he’d just pretend they didn’t exist at all. You can’t really blame him, the Mafia is not a place conducive for relationships, it’s only a matter of time before your luck runs out and one of you end up dead by a bullet through the head or captured by the enemy, and the thought of getting attached to someone only to lose them is enough to scare anyone away. 

But you don’t want to live your life in fear, no matter how short it may be, and you also don’t want to live it alone. So when an opportunity arose at a cafe near the main headquarters, where you met a civilian around your age who showed immediate interest in you, you jumped on it. And it’d caught a lot of people off guard—Kouyou was surprised, Chuuya was baffled and questioning what a civilian could possibly have that interested you, even Mori gave you a double take and an odd look the first time he overheard Elise interrogating you about your new boyfriend.

But no one took it as poorly as Dazai.

Your throat feels tight as you remember the hurt expression that crossed over his face when you told him. It was so brief and so foreign of an expression to see on his face that you’d thought you’d imagined it, he was quick to school his expression back into a cold and closed-off one (one that he’d never directed toward you before that moment), but there was no mistaking the way the corner of his lip twitched and the way he suddenly couldn’t meet your eyes. 

How nice, he’d told you, voice frighteningly icy, acidic, even, before he made a half-assed excuse about a mission that you knew he wasn’t assigned to. And it was so unlike him to offer himself up to handle missions, usually Mori has to force him with threats of giving Chuuya his executive position for him to do anything that makes him extend the barest amount of effort . But he did, and he handled it, very bloodily and uncharacteristically inefficient, as if he was releasing all of his pent up rage onto the unfortunate souls who happened to stumble into Port Mafia territory.

You were never, at any point, dating Dazai Osamu. 

You think you’ve told yourself it hundreds of times over the past three months, throwing yourself into your work and enjoying a relationship with a boy who clearly was invested in you and cares about you in a way that Dazai Osamu would never allow himself to admit. You also think that Dazai Osamu has no right being as bitter and angry as he is—you gave him two years to come to terms with his feelings and make a move, you’ve made your own subtle hints that he promptly ignored. If he wanted to be with you, he blew his chance a hundredfold, and he can go screw off if he thinks he can be upset about it only after you’d found someone else. 

Which is what he did, pretty much, and it was a lot harder than you expected—going from talking to him every waking second of every day, seeking him out whenever you have free time and vice versa, to only seeing him during the joint meetings between the executives and sub executives, where even then, he wouldn’t even spare you a glance. It was hard, and deep down, you don’t think being able to experience an actual relationship was worth losing your best friend, but the damage had already been done by that point, so you could only lie in the bed you made. 

And you did enjoy the relationship. The boy you’d met was sweet. He was good. He was impressively smart—a government and law major at one of the most prestigious universities in this part of the country—and humble to a fault. 

But he wasn’t Dazai. 

You knew in your heart that you didn’t want sweet or good, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise. You didn’t want the type of smart that he was, top of his class and on track for law school, seeking out a job as a public defender in Tokyo. You wanted the type of smart Dazai was, wicked and devious, putting together vicious and efficient strategies to take down enemies of the Mafia, on track for taking over the position as boss in the future. You wanted him for all of his twisted moralities and questionable thoughts.

And it was unfair to you, and it was unfair to Dazai, and most importantly it was unfair to the boy you kept leading on, that you’ve refused to acknowledge this for as long as you have just for the chance of experiencing a real relationship. 

Which is why you stand here now, outside the infamous Bar Lupin that you know Dazai has been drinking himself into oblivion at everyday for the past three months, notably single and possibly about to meet your end at the hands of a drunken and scorned Mafia executive. 

You think you must look like a fool right now. You’ve been standing right outside the door in the rain for fifteen minutes debating on whether or not you should actually go in. You’re nervous, and that makes you sad because you’ve never been nervous to talk to Dazai before, and you’re not nervous because you’re scared of him, you’re nervous because you don’t think you have the balls to actually confront him, knowing that you’d genuinely hurt the boy that everyone claimed didn’t have the emotions to be hurt. He let you in when he doesn’t let anyone in, and you chose to be careless and you chose to give up, and you hurt him. 

And you remind yourself again: you were not dating Dazai Osamu. You remind yourself that you gave him chances, he had opportunities, and he chose not to take them. You remind yourself that he’s just as at fault as you are for the falling out, but you can’t help but also remind yourself that he was the one that came out the most hurt by the situation. Yes, him cutting himself off from you was upsetting, but you didn’t have to watch him go around happy in a relationship with someone else. He did. 

With that thought in mind, you push the door open to the bar. A soft bell rings above you and instantly, three heads swivel in your direction: the bartender, and two men that you recognize as Sakaguchi Ango, one of the Port Mafia’s special intelligence agents, and Oda Sakunosuke, who you only know through Dazai’s high praise of the man from when the two of you were still on speaking terms. The only person in the room who matters to you doesn’t even bother to look to see who entered the bar, one hand circling the glass of whiskey in front of him while a cigarette dangles from the other. You watch as he lifts it to his lips to take a long drag, head falling tilting back to look up at the ceiling as he exhales a cloud of smoke, seemingly unbothered by your presence.

Already, you feel as if you’ve made a mistake, but you force yourself to continue.

The bartender nods his head in respect to you, although you can’t help but notice he flashes a wary look to Dazai. You wonder, pitifully, how much he’s said about you in this place. Sakaguchi and Oda share a look with one another. Both of them speak a low murmur of your name, inclining their head dutifully—you’re not quite an executive yet, but with the Piano Man of the Flags dead, you and Chuuya are fighting for the next spot to open up. Chuuya will likely be the one to get it, which you think he deserves from all of the heavy lifting he’s done on operations the past two years, but you feel a bit awkward when they give you your due respect when you're here with your tail between your legs trying to talk to Dazai.

Sakaguchi and Oda take their leave when you arrive, giving short goodbyes to Dazai, telling them that they’ll see him another day, and the bartender makes a fumbled excuse about going to the back to restock, leaving you alone with Dazai. Internally, you wither just a bit because you think if they’d stayed, Dazai might keep a handle on himself because you know he views Oda highly; instead, they left you in the lion’s den alone. Which you might deserve, but you digress.

You let out a quiet puff of air as you make your way over to the bar stool next to Dazai, taking a seat in it carefully. Still, he doesn’t look at you, but you look at him and the aching in your chest returns tenfold as your gaze sweeps over him fully for the first time in months. During the joint meetings between the executives and sub-executives, you were always sure to keep your glances short and sweet, not wanting to risk any lingering looks, but now, you can look at him in his entirety for the first time since that fateful discussion three months ago. 

He hasn’t changed much. Or, well, that’s a lie. He’s definitely changed. The circles beneath his eye are darker, his expression a carefully constructed blank mask. You think he might’ve lost some weight, his coat has always been big on him but the way it hangs over his shoulders now is looser than it was before. If it weren’t for the way his fingers were tense around his glass of whiskey, you’d have thought he was entirely unperturbed by your arrival.

You don’t know what to say, and you know you need to be the first to speak because you’re the one that showed up here to talk to him, but now that you’re sitting in front of him you’re floundering for words. You could just come out and say that you broke up with your boyfriend, but you feel like that would be a bit weird, and he’d probably laugh in your face and make a comment about how he doesn’t care. You could ask him how he’s been, but you think he might genuinely put a bullet in you for trying to make small talk with him like that right now. 

The longer you stay silent, the more awkward it becomes, and you want to cry because you’ve never been awkward with Dazai before, and for a brief second, you wonder if things really have changed too much to go back to how they were. 

Finally, you decide to just come out and say, bracing yourself for the inevitable derisive words that are going to leave his lips. “I broke up with him.”

Dazai’s scoff is loud and instantaneous, you bite your tongue, eyes sliding shut as you turn to face ahead instead of looking at him. Cowardly, you know, but you don’t want to see the sneer on his face when he asks you why he should care. 

But he doesn’t say that. He doesn’t say anything at first. If you were looking at him, you’d see the way his cold expression shifted into a more conflicted one, still staring ahead because he can’t bring himself to look at you. You count each passing second, and it’s agonizing waiting for him to speak, a part of you thinks that maybe he won’t, and you’ll just have to leave the bar with your tail between your legs, humiliated. 

But then he does. 

“Why?” he finally asks coolly, and your eyes snap open and your gaze slides over to him when you realize he did not, in fact, hit you with the derogation you expected.

He still isn’t looking at you, and you watch as he lifts his free hand back to his lips, taking another long drag of his cigarette as he waits for your response. You swallow thickly when you try to figure out what to say next. 

What you want to say is ‘because he wasn’t you,’ but you’re not ready to bare yourself vulnerable in front of him like that when he’s still so unpredictable. Just because he didn’t immediately hit you with the harsh words you expected, doesn’t mean he isn’t going to lure you in just to slap you in the face with it, which is how you’re sure he perceived what you did three months ago. 

Rather, you say quietly: “He was boring, I guess.”

It’s a lie. Well, a partial lie, at least. He was a good guy, he was just boring compared to what you wanted, and what you wanted was Dazai Osamu, who no one in the world could hope to compare to. 

“He was boring,” Dazai echoes your words, a cruel and mocking lilt to his voice, and you brace yourself now, taking the sudden switch in tone as the flicking off of the safety. But he shakes his head as he lets out a puff of air, you can’t tell if it’s another scoff or a laugh. “How cold-hearted of you. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, given your track record.”

Two paths lay before you: you can take the words as well-deserved, trying to avoid the inevitable fight, or you can spit back equally venomous words, dive in headfirst so the two of you can get everything off of your chest. Both choices are double-edged. If you avoid the fight, it means avoiding the topic altogether, and even if the two of you choose to speak again, the resentment of what had happened will only poison and fester. If you dive into the fight, there’s a chance of saying words you can’t take back, and everything might fall apart anyway.

What do you want? You want to ask him, because you aren’t sure what the right decision is. Three months ago, if you and Dazai got into a disagreement about something, you would know in an instant whether or not he wanted to fight it out to let off steam or just pretend it didn’t happen. Now, you aren’t so sure. He’s still not looking at you, so you can’t use the look in his eye as a hint, but his shoulders are tense beneath his jacket, and his knuckles are white around his glass of whiskey. Your gaze drags up to his face, catching the way his jaw is tight, teeth probably grinding together, and you know. 

You look ahead again, leveling your vision on a particularly nice bottle of wine on the third shelf of the wine rack as you say: “I’d rather be cold-hearted than a coward.”

For the first time since you’ve arrived, Dazai’s gaze cuts in your direction, head snapping to the side. You turn your head toward him just enough for you to eye him from the corner of your eye, catching glimpse of the way his lip curled up into a snarl and the way flames now rage in the browns of his eye—a far cry from the bottomless void, but you prefer the anger to the emptiness. 

“A coward?” His voice is low, cold, dangerous. 

You’re treading on thin ice, but you choose to stoke the flame more, gaze sliding back to the wine racks ahead.

“A coward.”

The silence that hangs between the two of you is tense and damning, you have to force yourself not to react to it, keeping your expression as stony as his as you wait for his response. He’ll either hit you back with more venom or he’ll settle down, one will lead to a blow out fight and the other will lead to a very tense conversation. 

You don’t want to fight him, but if that’s what he wants, you’ll give it to him. 

After what feels like an eternity, Dazai makes another scornful noise but he doesn’t say anything, gaze snapping back ahead as he takes a drag of his cigarette, this one clearly fueled by anger, far more aggressive than the last one. As if to piss him off even more, he hardly gets half of a smoke, down to the nub already. Frustrated, he puts the lingering cinders out on the bartop before reaching for the pack in his pocket, pulling out a new cigarette and his lighter.

You watch as he tries to flick the lighter on, cigarette dangling between his lips, but the old thing refuses to cooperate. Distantly, you wonder why Dazai is so damn stubborn: working with an old lighter, living in a shitty shipping container, wearing the same few pairs of clothes every day when he probably has more money than god hoarded from his executive paycheck. But you only force yourself to not roll your eyes as you pull out your own lighter, flicking it on and holding it out to him without looking at him. 

You watch from the corner of your eye as he stares at your hand suspiciously before he exhales from the side of his mouth, dipping his head down to light the cigarette before he faces ahead again. He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he reaches out for his glass of whiskey, still mostly full, and then he slides it over to you.

An offering. A white flag. 

You barely withhold the breath of relief that nearly escapes you, accepting the drink and taking a long sip of it. It’s his favorite brand, smooth and familiar on the tongue; you haven’t been able to bring yourself to drink it since your falling out with him. 

“Was it really because he was boring?” Dazai finally asks. He’s not looking at you again, but you can see from the way his fingers are tense against the bartop that he’s probably waiting for a certain response from you.

You let your eyes slide shut. “No,” you admit.

“Then why?” he presses, as if he doesn’t already know. 

“You know why,” you say tightly, shaking your head and looking down.

“Tell me anyway,” Dazai responds quietly, you can feel his gaze on you but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. Irrationally, even though the atmosphere between the two of you has shifted, you wonder if this is it: he’s going to get you to admit it and then laugh in your face, cruel but probably deserved. 

“Because he wasn’t you,” you finally force out.

He doesn’t respond. Your heart sinks to your stomach, a sick feeling churning. You brace yourself again—you don’t know what for, maybe a laugh or a derisive comment, but he does nothing of the sort. 

A long exhale, smoke billowing around his face, a heavy look in his eyes. He doesn’t look at you as he says: “You’re right.”

You don’t respond because you’re not sure what he’s referring to. Finally, he tilts his head to look at you, a wry smile on his lips—your chest feels warm at the sight, you can’t remember the last time you’ve seen him smile. Probably not since the falling out. 

“I was a coward.”

Oh.

The frustration you felt all of those months ago returns with a vengeance. You had danced with possibilities back then: that you were reading too much into things, that he didn’t actually care for you the way you did for him, that he simply did not want to be with you even if he did care about you that way. Now, faced with confirmation that he had felt the same but was just too pussy to act on it, your chest swells with that familiar anger. You force it away. 

“Why?” you ask after a few moments of silence, nails digging into the palm of your hands as you rest them on your lap. “I… I waited for two years, Dazai. I gave you so many openings. You knew how I felt.”

“I know.” His voice is quiet, barely audible. 

“Then why?” you repeat his words back to him, pressing hard just like he did. His throat bobs beneath his bandages as he swallows, averting his gaze, or trying to, at least, because you don’t let him. You reach out to grab his chin tightly, forcing him to look at you, and the pads of your fingers burn against his skin, hyper aware of the fact that this is the first time you’ve touched him in three months. “Why?”

His hand comes up to grab your wrist as if to pull your hand off of him, but he doesn’t, grip firm around your wrist, fingers pressing against your pulse point, and you’re acutely conscious of the fact that your pulse is probably racing but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

“I told you why,” he says, voice uncharacteristically soft. Vulnerable in a way that you’ve never seen him before. “I was a coward. I… didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship... I don't have many friends. You know that. I would’ve rather just ignored how I felt and kept you as a friend, because I didn’t think there’d be a chance of losing you that way. I thought if I acted on how I felt, one day you’d eventually see me for what I am and I’d lose you altogether.”

“Some good that did you.” You can’t help the resentful words that spill from your lips, but you feel guilty when he winces, hand dropping back to your lap, his grip slipping from your wrist. “You think I don’t already see you for who you are? We’ve known each other since we were sixteen, Dazai. I know all of the sick and twisted thoughts that run through your head, I knew exactly what I was getting into.”

Dazai shakes his head, as if to deny your words. You get frustrated.

“I spend hours at your recovery bed after your attempts, I’ve caught you in the middle of them myself, do you know what the first thing I did was after I told you I had a boyfriend?” you demand, and he stares at you, unsure. “I put a protection detail on him because I thought you’d try to have him killed, or try to kill him yourself.”

Dazai winces. You shake your head and look away, settling down again. 

“For someone so smart, you really are so goddamn stupid sometimes,” you sigh, taking a long swig of his drink before placing the glass back down on the table. “I saw you for who you are, and I wanted you anyway.”

“Wanted?” Dazai asks, an uncertain expression on his face as he zeroes in on the past tense.

“Want,” you correct, voice little over a breath, and something akin to relief sweeps across his face as his gaze drops down to the bartop.

The silence that hangs between the two of you is more comfortable this time. Reassuring, even, because maybe things might still be awkward between the two of you for a while, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, one much brighter than the one the two of you lived in three months ago. 

“I can’t believe you went for a civilian,” Dazai suddenly says, almost sounding indignant. “A civilian. You!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you snap when you hear the incredulous tone he takes when he says ‘you’.

“You’re a stone cold bitch,” Dazai accuses and you gape, but you can’t find it in yourself to be offended because his eyes are lit up for the first time in months, a lopsided smile painted on his face. “And you’ve got as much blood on your hands as I do. You. A civilian. I think I would’ve been less offended if you went for Chuuya.”

“We both know that’s a lie,” you snort, and then you add, a bit amused, “you know what he wants a job as?” 

“Tell me,” Dazai drawls, resting his chin on his hand as he leans on the bar, watching you with such a fond expression that it makes you feel warm all over. 

God, you missed him the past three months. 

“He wanted to go to law school. Become a public defender.”

Dazai chokes over the smoke he inhales, and you press your hand to your lips to smother your giggles as he desperately wheezes between laughs. You’re not sure if he’s actually choking, you think he might actually be dying from how red his face is getting.

“Maybe you should keep in contact with him then,” he gasps between laughs, “we might need one of those one day.”

“As if you’re sloppy enough to ever get caught,” you say dryly.

He winks at you, his grin sharpening, and you know you’re not going to like what he’s about to say. “Oh, I’m not. By ‘we’, I meant you.”

“Douchebag.” You roll your eyes, letting another silence settle over the two of you, a smile on your lips now as you take another sip of your drink. He’s the one to break it again.

“... Odasaku convinced me not to, by the way.”

“What?” 

“To kill him. I was going to. Odasaku convinced me not to.”

You let out a sigh of utter suffering, giving Dazai a pointed look—see, you say silently, I know you. He has the decency to look a bit sheepish as lifts his cigarette back to his mouth in lieu of responding to your unspoken words. 

“Stop with the self sabotage, Dazai,” you finally say, tired. “For both of our sakes’.”

He doesn’t respond, and you know him well enough to know that he’ll probably never stop with the self sabotage, but he does reach out to lace your fingers with his, and the warm feeling that spreads through your chest is enough to satiate you. 

Little steps, because no, the Mafia is not a conducive place for relationships and yes, it’s only a matter of time before luck runs out for one of you, but if your life is destined to be short, there’s only one person you want to spend it with.

[jiminscockr1ng]

✩｡°𝄞📱HOP ON THE STREAM𝄞°✨｡✩

╝ short story ╔

╰₊ 𓂂➢ pairing: jungkook x black!reader

╰₊ 𓂂➢ genre: streamer!jungkook x black!reader, strangers to friends/friends to lovers, lots of fluff, smut.

╰₊ 𓂂➢ warn!ngs: nothing much; jungkook and reader does banter, reader slaps jungkook (permission granted), unprotected sex, pulling out, slight masochism (no prep), dry humping, etc. [let me know if there’s more]

╰₊ 𓂂➢ summary: you and one of the most watched streamers, jeon jungkook cross paths on a random sunday afternoon. oddly, the two of you become a hot topic over night— landing you in south korea with the spunky streamer for a round two.

╰₊ 𓂂➢ word count: 11,877 words

╰₊ 𓂂➢ author’s note: this took soooo long to write!! i haven’t reread or edited anything so if there are any misspellings or grammatical mistakes, just know i haven’t checked everything over yet. i’m just so happy to be done and i hope you all enjoy it!

You breathe in the fresh air as you walk one of the various paths of the humongous park. Randomly deciding that you needed to get out of your crammed apartment, you’ve made your way to central park. The sun shined lucently on your melanin skin— looking as if god himself came down to give you a huge kiss on your forehead.

You wear a white puffer vest over your black nike hoodie. The khaki colored cargo pants clings perfectly to your legs. Enhancing your curves just right and in all the right places.

Strutting down the path in your clean white air forces. You flip your butt-length knotless braids behind you to adjust your headphones, furrowing your brows though.

‘What the fuck is that?’, you think.

This obnoxious voice— it’s not even so much the voice, it’s the yelling. So enthusiastic and high pitched, nearly sounding strained.

“Yoooo! This shit is lit as hell, I can’t lie! If anyone in New York right now— dm me, for real. What? Chat stop hatin’, yall act like y’all ain’t ever seen rats before.”

You can hear the voice growing closer despite the Sza song that is blasting in your ears. Nothing pisses you off more than hearing someone’s voice through your headphones. It simply shouldn’t be possible— you have good fucking headphone! Expensive as shit!

You decide to ignore it until you see a figure walking beside you in your peripheral view. You look to see what or who it could be and it’s a man. Young man. Fairly long black hair— hanging fluffy over his undercut, cute nose, bright doe eyes, eyebrow piercing, two silver lip rings accessorizing his thin pink lips.

Hot as hell, if you do say so yourself. And the man seems to be… talking to you. Pausing the song that blasts into your ears to hear him, your feet halts to respond.

“What?” You curiously ask. The taller man seems to find your response quite hilarious. Laughing, his smile catches your eye. He has a really nice smile. But that’s not exactly the point right now.

“I said, are you taking applications?” He repeats. If you thought you were confused before, you might as well be underneath a google search for oblivion. Because what is he talking about. “I’m sorry, applications? I’m not sure I’m understanding you correctly.” You stammer on your words and then your eyes widen when the man takes a step closer to you. Not too close, but just enough to get a whiff of his cozy-like scent. His demeanor— the look in his eyes is seductive. It intrigues you but also at the same time makes you want to run for your life.

“Application for free feet massages.” He says with this low voice as if he’s spitting the most legendary game at you. He absolutely is not. Evident on your face as you scrunch it up in disgust.

Before you can even curse him out he bursts into a fit of laughter. That’s when you notice the huge light extension connected on the top of his phone. Then the buff man standing close behind him, holding the biggest camera you’ve ever seen. You should’ve known.

“I’m fucking with you,” he says. “I’m streaming right now—” He turns to point at the camera. “Chat told me to come talk to you.” You awkwardly nod, knowing that you’re being recorded right now. “I can see that.”

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You simply nod your head, continuing your way down the path. You’ve always seen different youtube videos of youtubers or different streamers approaching people on the streets. You’ve never really imagined someone approaching you like that. It’s entertaining to watch— you agree, but admittedly it’s quite awkward being caught off guard.

Still, you can hear the man talking behind you. Assumably to the ‘chat’.

“Chill yall. I’m not gonna do that.” He tries to speak lowly, replying to the people who wish him to approach you again. “I’m gonna look like a fucking freak.” He cards his hand through his hair. It did not help that he wasted his moment to shoot his shot, too busy trolling. To be fair he panicked once he got a better look at you. You’re stunning. He knew he fumbled once you started talking to him. The chat was simply telling him to recover the trophy. The trophy being you.

“Hey,” you hear the familiar voice again. Fighting to not roll your eyes. He jogs toward you and you stop walking once again. This time, you’re a bit frustrated. You snatch your headphones off of your head. “If you’re gonna stand here and ask me some dumb shit again—”

“No, no that was my fault.” He raises his hands in defense. “I really wanted to ask for your social. You’re really pretty, just wanted to talk to you.” He calmly says, in contrast to the obnoxious high energy voice he used previously. You’re not buying it though. This has to be another prank.

“Listen, I don’t know what prank you’re pulling for your stream but I just wanna be on my way.” You can see the panic behind his eyes as you speak. He doesn’t make it too apparent but it’s there. He can’t fumble— he won’t fumble!

“I promise I’m not pulling any prank on you. Look!” He extends his hand to show you his phone. It seems to be some sort of monitoring set up for his stream and in the corner is the live chat box. You read as the thousands of comments that quickly scrolls by. Comments saying, “not a prank”, “L rizz”, “she bad as hell”, “he don’t know what to do with allat”. You decide that you’ve seen enough.

Enough to know he’s being honest. For the most part… you guess.

“Okay.” You shrug in defeat, not really knowing where to go from here. “If you’re not cool with sharing your social can I at least get you something to eat?” He asks and struggle to not show your immediate interest. You’re hungry as hell and free food is the best. Especially when a greek god is offering to pay for it. So of course the answer is yes. But you don’t forget to play a little hard to get. Guys love the chase.

“Mm, I don’t know.” You try to sound highly unsure. His eyes are practically pleading with you to say yes. Probably so you won’t embarrass him in front of his viewers. “You’re not gonna kidnap me, right?”

At that moment, he smiles again. A smile of relief. “Naw, forgot to bring my van with me— you’re good.”

The two of you— plus the unreasonably large cameraman walk a good amount of distance to reach the nearest taco bar. Reckoning that walking would be safer after the little van joke, you both talked the whole walk there.

Learning that his name is Jungkook, born in Korea, studied in New York at a young age before moving back to Korea. He fell into the streaming lifestyle after gaming for a few years. It seems that a lot of his viewers are active in the US. And ironically, this is his first time being in New York since he moved back to Korea. This also just so happens to be his last day here, catching a flight back home tonight.

It being just a weird little coincidence that the two of you met. Once seated at the restaurant’s table you can Jungkook continue getting to know one another. The fact that the camera is still recording the conversation is completely disregarded by you and Jungkook.

“Tell me more about yourself, though. Like what do you do— other than take random walks at central park?” He asks, completely invested in your life. You let out a nervous laugh as you try to put your situation into words.

“Umm, well at the moment I’m going to school and working.” You say but Jungkook wants to know more. Not just the surface level stuff. “Okay, going to school for what?” He asks curiously, his doe eyes wide and peering deeply into yours. You have to break eye contact, afraid of getting lost into the dark irises.

“Cosmetology— trade school. I do that part-time and work full-time.” Jungkook’s eyebrows raise at your presumably active schedule, whispering a “wow”. You nod your head. “It’s a lot but I have a lot of plans and I already feel that I’m behind so… stress now and it’ll pay off later.” You shrug nonchalantly before taking a sip of your strawberry lemonade the waitress had just brought to your table.

“What plans, exactly?” You furrow you eyebrows, a little smile forming on your face. “You sure do have a lot of questions.”

“Guilty,” he returns the smile. “But really, I’m interested. Here I am thinking you’re the lucky one. I’m not sure how the hell I caught you on an off day.” He says and you can’t help but feel warm and fuzzy in the inside. Jungkook is an amazing listener and you have yet to really elaborate on your future plans to anyone else— fearing to feel like a bother or hear any discouraging comments. You find yourself growing a bit excited to talk about your dreams. The dreams you work hard to achieve everyday.

“I want to open my own salon.” There goes that breathtaking smile again. “That’s incredible, really!?” You nod your head slightly, an odd feeling of shyness washes over you. “Yeah um, I spent two years in college after high school majoring in business. I knew from a young age that working for someone else wasn’t a feeling I enjoyed. However, I still didn’t know what I wanted to do.” Jungkook rests his chin on his palm, willing to listen to you talk all day.

“After I received my associates degree, someone recommended me to try out cosmetology school. I was doing hair already— only friends and family. So I ended up going and I actually really enjoy it. So,” You scratch your arm to try to distract the mean and discouraging voices in your head telling you to not say anything about your plan in case things fall through. Jungkook nods his head for you to continue, anticipating to hear more about your story.

“So I— uh began planning. Like opening my own salon and stuff. Saving my money up. Tapping into other things like nails and makeup, stuff like that.” You say rather awkwardly and unconfident. Jungkook can’t help but notice. “Don’t try to water it down. It’s your plans— your dreams. Stand proud on that shit.” He says making you giggle. Encouraging nonetheless; despite the uproarious way he put it.

“Okay okay,” you sigh. “I want to open a huge salon. Where people can come and get their hair done, nails, makeup, a spa, masseuses— all that. The ultimate feel good, self care spot. With a beauty supply store inside of the salon.” You continue adding on, listing off all of your ideas on your freshly manicured fingers and Jungkook smile grows as you do. His energy easily rubs off on you.

“Yo, that’s lit as fuck! So I can go get my hair done and then go buy products at the same place?!” He indulges into your plans and you nod, laughing at his candid excitement. “Or better yet, after I get my hair done— I can go and get a massage.” You hold your hands over your face to hide the overwhelming feeling of happiness. Somehow, the guy has figured out how to make you feel absolutely on top of the world.

To your surprise, you’re actually enjoying his unexpected company. More than enjoying it, you can practically drown yourself in the amount of entertainment you’re receiving. You seriously haven’t had this much fun in your spare time in so long.

All of your friends are introverted homebodies. As an ambivert, your mood is based solely on your companys’. And Jungkook is a natural extroverted, outgoing individual. You can’t help feeling high energy when around him. You gracefully indulge in his presence. Him and the nachos that you’re aggressively shoving down your throat.

“Damn little lady, you sure know how—”

“Don’t even finish that fucking quote.” You playfully glare at him across the table, your words muttered together due to the food stuffed inside your jaws. Obediently, he shuts the fuck up. “This is actually really good. I need to come here more often.” You comment once you finish chewing. Jungkook perks up.

“Lemme try some!” He says, all too excited. “My nachos?” He nods his head and you hum in agreement. When picking up a nacho— making sure to get the necessary ingredients on top of it, you extend your arm for Jungkook to grab it.

Instead, he opens his mouth wide, indicating the want of you to put it in his mouth. You nearly flinched. “I am not hand feeding you these fucking nachos, Jungkook.” You state and he pouts. It’s the cutest thing ever but you’re being recorded so you must focus!

“Why?” Still pouting, his eyebrows creased.

“Because…” You turn your head to look at the camera that stood up on the table right beside yours and Jungkook’s. His camera man sitting at the same table, chowing down on his burrito. That seems to be a clear answer for Jungkook.

“Don’t worry about the camera— it doesn’t matter.” He fans his hand, insisting for you to feed him your nachos. You look down at his phone—

“They’re saying you’re a munch.” His pout falls in to a stank face as he snatches his phone off of the table to look at the chat. He scoffs. “Y’all are literally D1 haters!” He continues arguing with the chat as you let out little giggles at some of the comments that were made.

“Fuck them, can you just feed me the nacho.” He says in defeat. A mischievous smile rests on your face. “Say please.” You demand and Jungkook rolls his eyes but of course, obedient as always. “Please!” He sings, you couldn’t help but laugh. Nodding your head you feed him the nachos and he moans in satisfaction. That did a little something to your insides.

A smudge of sour cream is left on the corner of his lip, his tongue failing to lick it off. Mindlessly, you reach to wipe it off with your finger. Jungkook’s eyes widen a bit at the action and his cheeks turns a faint pink. Again, you laugh. Something you seem to be doing a lot of. “Awe, are you blushing?” You tease and his expression immediately goes nonchalant. “No, it was just unexpected.” You couldn’t help it though. You have the upper hand. “Poor Kookie can’t handle the rizzler.” You joke and he laughs. Revealing that toothy smile you adore.

“You’re not funny.”

“I really am though. I’m gonna take over your whole career one day. They call me the career snatcher.” You joke, putting on a feigned smug smile. Only to continue seeing that smile and hear the sound of his quite crazy high pitched laughter a little longer.

“Absolutely no one calls you that.” He says in between laughter.

“Wanna bet?” He shakes his head before pulling out his wallet, grabbing some cash to pay for the bill. “Nope, I wanna go somewhere fun.”

You watch as he tips the waitress, handing her a hefty 50 bucks. The waitress smiles brightly before thanking him and takes hold of your empty plates. His focus turns back to you and he drums his hands on the table. “Be my tour guide.” He says, wanting to spend more time with you. You find his lame excuse of asking you out again funny.

“You’re not a tourist.” He shrugs. “You literally lived her for like 7 years.” You add, flipping your braids over your shoulder. “5 years, actually. And that doesn’t matter.” He corrects.

You roll your eyes figuring that he’s too stubborn to come out and say he wants to continue hanging out with you. Fortunately for him, you’re not sure you want to leave him just yet either. “What do you want to do?” You question and his face lights up. Truly, like a kid whose parent said they can eat ice cream.

“Is there an arcade around here?”

Unlike last time, you allow yourself to catch a ride with Jungkook and his cameraman, Benny. You’re sure that Jungkook won’t kidnap you and Benny actually seems to be a big softly despite his tough apearance.

Once the three of you enter the famous arcade you’re swamped by nearly a dozen kids. All seeming to be die hard fans of the tall muscled man next to you. His smile as he talks to the kids is so lovable you can’t help but to smile yourself as he interacts with them. Giving out hugs and autographs and pictures.

The kids don’t hesitate to follow you and Jungkook around the arcade. You couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. Not even fully adjusting to the fact that you’re being recorded and people can see everything you do and say in real time, now there are dozens of people— kids, teenagers, a few adults tagging along.

Jungkook seems to have noticed your change of behavior. He grabs your hand, dragging you along with him. “Let’s play a game, c’mon!” He shouts and your heart drops as you feel his hand in yours. The two of you approach a shooting game. Jurassic Park. You’ve played the game multiple times before and you’re actually pretty good at it.

“This one.” He says, sounding out of breath. You nod as you grab a scrunchie out of your pocket. Jungkook is so hyped he doesn’t even notice the action. Boasting himself up to the crowd that surrounds the gaming booth. “You sure you can keep up, _______? You know I’m a gamer, right?” He brags on and you put your braids in a ponytail behind you. “Jungkook is trash!”Someone amongst the crowd screams and you don’t even try to hide your laughter.

“What is the beef?! Y’all hate on me on and offline.” He turns to look at you. “Watch, I’m about to destroy you,” he says competitively. You’re not sure if he knows that this is a team game. You two will not be competing against each other, rather against the dinosaurs that are trying to stomp on you.

The crowds’ laughter tells you that they are aware as well. You shrug your shoulders at them and they tell you not to say anything.

You two settle inside of the booth and you try to not think about the way his thighs rests next to yours. As the game starts up you take off your coat and Jungkook swipes the card.

The countdown starts and you both raise your guns. The cut scene starts and almost immediately the dinosaurs start running to attack you. You began shooting the targets and notice that Jungkook’s shooting is off.

“What— where is your dinosaur?!” You couldn’t help but laugh. Shooting the dinosaurs that attempt to attack you and even handling Jungkook’s load of work. You hear some people watching gasping and hyping you up which frustrates Jungkook.

“What am I supposed to do?!” He screams and on queue Jungkook dies leaving you in the game alone. You join in with the laughter surrounding the booth and Jungkook sinks into his seat as he watches you shoot all of the dinosaurs.

Eventually you win and turn your focus on Jungkook, who glares at you. You chuckle before mockingly tapping his cheek, grabbing your jacket to get up out of the booth. A few people approach you to give you high-fives and when Jungkook exits everyone makes sure to boo him. If it wasn’t for the way you’re cutely smiling back he would’ve definitely continued his trash talk. Instead, he reluctantly follows you to the next game.

The two of you end up playing almost every single game in the arcade, some fans even come to play alongside you guys.

You and Jungkook are currently picking a song on the dancing machine arcade game. Jungkook is really excited about this game— his competitiveness taking over. “Why do you keep trying to beat me, Kook?” You ask as he carefully scrolls through the song selections, that seemingly are all K-pop songs. “Because you keep winning! So until I win, I won’t stop trying to beat you.” You burst into a fit of laughter at his childish protest before putting on a feigned pout.

“Awe, he’s passionate.” You slowly rub his back and you can feel his muscles tense underneath your touch. “Stop… you’re distracting me.” He mumbles, the words only fall onto your ears. You simply giggle finding it cute that you some sort of affect on him. “Just pick a song, it’s really not that serious.”

He groans before picking the next song: Regular by NCT127. You both get into position and the people surround you both, cheering for you. You turn to see Jungkook’s little frown on top of his focused face. You don’t know whether to feel bad or swoon over how cute he looks right now.

The two of you start dancing and you come to a conclusion. Jungkook must’ve put this shit on hard mode.

You can barely keep up, nearly tripping over your feet as you try to predict the next dance move. Jungkook seems to be having a hard time as well.

When he notices you getting the hang of it he lets out a loud “no”. You scoff before quickly glancing at him. “What is this your villain origin story— get it together Kook.” He absolutely could not get it together. The big ass shoes he’s sporting didn’t help much either. So he resorted to sabotage.

You feel a light shove to your shoulder, knocking you off of the machine. Jungkook laughs when he sees your face. But when you run back on the machine it quickly drops. You hook your foot around his making him fall onto the ground.

Roars of laughter surrounds the two of you as you tussle while attempting to do the dance steps. Jungkook manages to pick you up off of the ground while dancing. You can’t even fight it, your body so weak from laughter. When the song ends he put you down and you slap his shoulder. “You cheated!” Jungkook only laughs at you before the score drops on the screen.

“I won! I fucking won— look at you!” He points and laugh at you and you just watch him, completely worn out. “You happy now?” You say, grabbing your puffer vest, slipping it back over your hoodie. He happily nods.

“I should get going. I have work in the morning.” You purse your lips, feeling disappointed to even say the words. You can tell Jungkook is as well by the way he hesitatingly nods his head and calls for Benny.

“We’ll drop you off at your place.”

Benny pulls into the parking lot of the apartment complex and you make sure you have everything before leaving the car. Jungkook places a hand on your arm and asks for you to say something to the chat before you leave.

“Okay right,” you say to the camera. “This was a fun little surprise. Jungkook’s really cool even though he can’t play games for shit.” He softly nudges your shoulder while innocently looking out the window making you giggle. “It was really fun meeting some of you today. Keep supporting Jungkook, he’s a really nice person and is just really… authentically him.” Jungkook turns to look at you and he believes that he could throw up from the way the butterflies in his stomach are moving. Looking at your pretty brown eyes, your smooth brown skin and those plumped lips that are just so tempting he could—

“Okay, I’m leaving now. Bye!” You wave your hands at the camera before awkwardly leaving the car. Jungkook sits there in panic as he watches you approach the door. It’s not supposed to end like that, right?

He hurriedly hops out of the car, jogging up behind you. Similar the way he did when he first saw you at the park. You turn your head at the sound of footsteps behind you, surprised to see Jungkook. “What are you—”

“I’m walking you to the door.” He says, trying to act nonchalant as if he didn’t just sprint out the car after you. “I can walk to the door myself. You know, because I’ve been living here for 3 years now.” You speak sarcastically and Jungkook sighs. “I’m just trying to be a gentleman.” You roll your eyes at yet another one of his lame excuses but decide to not say anything more.

Within seconds you meet the door and Jungkook mentally curses at the fact that it wasn’t some long path to get there.

Staring up at the tall raven haired man you wish that he would have just stayed in the car. Because now it’s going to be a lot harder to say goodbye. Because you know that you’re never going to see him again.

“Ahm—” you choke as you begin to speak. “I don’t know what to say.” Awkwardly rocking on the heels of your shoes. He lets out a chuckle, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah um, same.” You look back at the car and see that you two are in fact not being recorded. “I had a really nice time with you today— it was fun.” Jungkook says and you nod. The awkward tension between the two of you makes you want to run inside the building and don’t look back.

“You sure you’re not just saying that?” You reply, teasing him one last time. He scoffs. “Wow, even with no cameras you still don’t believe me.”

“Hard to believe someone who jokingly gives out free foot massages” The both of you share a laugh. Jungkook opens his arms wide, indicating his want for a hug. You more than willingly comply, immersing yourself into his warmth. His arms wrap around your body as yours do his. You don’t want to move. You don’t want him to leave. For some reason, the mere 5 hours spent with him feels like 5 months and you don’t know how to say goodbye.

His chin gently rests on top of your head as he gets a whiff of your coconuty aroma. “You have my number, _______. Don’t be scared to use it.” He mutters atop your head and you nod into his chest. “You have mine too.” You add before reluctantly pulling away.

“I’m gonna go inside now. Text me before you board your flight.” Your voice is low and gloomy, matching Jungkook’s face. You make your way through the door, sending him one more wave before heading up the stairs.

That night you went to sleep in a horrible mood. The weird feeling of missing someone you just met consuming you. You even called off of work just to get one more day to relax.

Never in a million years would you have thought that by the time you wake up tomorrow, you’d be the hot topic all over social media.

Notifications rapidly blare from your phone, waking you up— something your alarm failed to do. You squint your eyes as the bright light of your phone nearly blinds you. You gasp as you check the time, realizing that you’ve slept like a baby for more than half of the day. But blind is what you think you are once you see all of the notifications.

Millions of followers on your social media accounts. Tiktok, Instagram, Twitter— all of it. Completely flooded with likes, follows and comments and dm’s. You go on Youtube to see you and Jungkook all over your feed.

What surprises you the most is the text messages from Jungkook. You didn’t expect him to actually text you after yesterday, assuming that he was just being kind by giving you his phone number. But when you open your message app, you see a thread of messages from him.

jungkook: jus got on the plane. hope ure sleeping well ❤️ 9:47pm

jungkook: is it like weird that i kind of missed u? 9:50pm

jungkook: i asked benny but u know he’s like kinda old and stuff. 9:50pm

jungkook: do feel like that too? like do u miss me? 9:51pm

jungkook: nvm don’t answer that shit 😭 9:51pm

jungkook: jus get sum rest. 9:52pm

jungkook: omggg i jus landed in taipei and ure like famous!!! wake upppp!!! 1:32pm

You should’ve braced yourself for the roller coaster you just went through reading his text messages. Nonetheless, you text him back.

you: are you sniffing crack or something? calm down 😧 1:52pm

jungkook: why r u jus waking up 🤨 1:54pm

you: i called off and overslept. it was rough last night. 1:54pm

jungkook: have u checked any of ur socials?? 1:55pm

jungkook: the stream is like literally EVERYWHERE! 1:55pm

you: yeah i’m looking now. this is actually crazy— i knew you were popular but fuck! my notifications are flooded 😭😭😭 1:58pm

jungkook: sorry about that ☹️ 1:59pm

jungkook: but hey this is all u. i bring ppl on my stream all the time nd this never happens. they jus rlly fuck with u 🤷🏻‍♂️ 2:00pm

you: i guess… 2:01pm

you: i don’t know what to do now. like what am i supposed to do? 2:01pm

jungkook: nothin u don’t wanna do. don’t stress over it 2:01pm

jungkook: jus be u 2:01pm

you: thanks kook. 2:02pm

jungkook: no problem 😉 2:02pm

you: by the way, i did miss you too. 2:05pm

you: a lot actually, it’s weird. 2:06pm

jungkook: benny says it’s normal 2:07pm

you: lmao benny’s probably right 😅 2:07pm

jungkook: my flight is gonna take off soon. i’ll text you when i get home. ❤️ 2:08pm

you: 💕 2:08pm

It’s been two long months since Jungkook left. Needless to say, you haven’t taken your mind off of the tall dreamy man since he’s popped up in your life. Partially because the two of you have been texting each other nonstop.

Despite both of your busy schedules, you always find ways to keep in touch. Texting each other constantly, facetiming when you’re both free, occasionally going live together on instagram. And the people loved it. You assumed that after a while the buzz would dwindle but the people are dying for more content.

The attention did more good than harm. You received a lot of attention from the hair you did and people have even dm’ed you to do their hair. It’s really incredible that a mere five hours has changed your life. Your family and friends are so happy for you, begging to meet the one and only Jungkook. The Jungkook who you have grown so close to over the past two months.

Everyday you feel like you’re living a dream. Never forgetting to tell Jungkook how grateful you are to him. To which he always responds with “you deserve it”.

You sit on your coach as you watch your phone in anticipation. Waiting for the ringing to stop and hear—

“Did it come?!” He says over the phone. You put on a performative show, sighing and pouting your lips. Completely disappointed. Jungkook’s enthusiastic smile falls and just as it does you whip out the thick paper, shoving it the camera.

“It cameee!” You shout and Jungkook’s face lights up. He jumps up and down in pure excitement. “Oh my god! Let me see, let me see— hold it still!”

“Geez, I’m trying my best.” He intently observed the cosmetology license that you were awarded. “I’m so proud of you, _______” He sincerely speaks and you feel your chest tighten. Jungkook recently has had that kind of effect on you. You shyly smile, lowering the certificate and putting it on your kitchen counter.

“How does it feel to be a licensed cosmetologist, ma’am?” He lowers his voice, mockingly speaking while holding his hand out like a reporter. You laugh before speaking. “It feels amazing! I would like to thank my 4 kids at home for being my inspiration, Miss Sally at the Sisters Hospital, my loving family and my dear husband who’s always stuck by my side.” You feed into the act. Something that is normal and just makes sense with you and Jungkook.

Jungkook dramatically gasps. “Husband! I didn’t read any of that before this interview. Too bad, I had set up a whole proposal for you. This was a gig! Now my heart is broken.” He holds his hand over his chest, faking a heartbreak. You pout.

“Awe, I’m so sorry. But you happen to be too late Mr. Jeon. My love for you has died many many years ago. You must move on!” Using your poor british accent makes Jungkook break character. “Your accent is horrible. Never do that shit again.” Your face falls.

“Suck cock and die.” You say and Jungkook laughs. “You’re such a whore, i’ll do all of that later. But is that it?” You furrow your eyes brows as you stand your up phone against your purse on the counter, turning around to reach in the fridge to grab the carton of strawberry lemonade. “Is what it?” You ask but Jungkook is too focused on your ass to respond. You swiftly turn back around catching him looking.

“Eyes up here, cowboy!” You shout, snapping your fingers at the camera. He raises his hands as if surrendering. “My bad. You know, men.” He shrugs, one hundred percent unashamed.

“Yeah, yeah. What were you talking about?” He falls open as he tries to remember what he was talking about before he fell into a trance. “Oh yeah!” You raise a brow.

“Was that all you got in the mail?” He asks and you furrow your brows. Confused on why he would be asking that because no one really cares about mail. “No, I got other stuff but that was the first thing I saw and then I immediately called you.” He nods quietly before carding a hand through his raven hair. It was styled much different from the first time you saw him. Perfectly layered, shaping his face with very precise curls at the ends, the back falling into a mullet. He looks amazing.

“Hello?!” He screams through the phone. You hum in shock, not realizing that you were staring at him. “I said check your mail.” You furrow your eyebrows once again. “Why do you want me to check my mail so badly?” He groans, pulling the phone close to his face. “Just check the fucking mail.”

You roll your eyes before walking over to your mail. “Don’t get shot, JK!” You scream at him from across the room and you hear a faint giggle from him coming from your phone. You walk back over to the counter, setting down a couple of packages and a few envelopes.

He makes you go through all of it in front of him. You were beginning to grow frustrated at his lack of communication and context. Not understanding why he suddenly took interest in your mail. You finally make it to one of the packages and you freeze when you read the box.

From your best friend, to you. — JK

You gasp before looking back at the man on your phone screen. The goofy smile on his face makes you wish you can jump through the screen and lather him down with hugs and kisses.

“You fart! What did you send me?!” You scream out and Jungkook tries to maintain a poker face. “Open the box.” You can’t control the huge smile on your face as you take your keys to eagerly tear the box apart.

Inside is a camera with a note on it The same camera Jungkook uses for filming. “You’re gonna need this for what’s at the bottom.” You read the note aloud. Your heart is racing so fast at the well thought out gift and you aren’t even halfway through. Underneath the camera is a shirt that reads, “I love Jungkook.”

You glare at the man through the screen and he laughs. “Awe, you do? You really mean it?” He can’t even keep a straight face, dying laughing at how unserious he is. “I’m not wearing this.” You lie. You would wear this everyday if you could remember to wash it.

“Whatever, just keep going.” You roll your eyes before diving back into the box. Underneath that is envelope. You pick up the envelope at the bottom of the box and open it. There’s a card inside and what seems to be a well written letter inside. You look at the camera. “Can I read this out loud?” Jungkook closes his eyes as he nods and you begin reading.

“Dear _______, from the very first day I met you there wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you. Our friendship is something I hold dearly to my heart and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Usually around this time of the year I’d be depressed or stressed out in my room wondering what the fuck I’m doing with my life. But you’ve kept my mind busy. Always making sure to encourage and support me when I can’t do the same for myself. You make me happy and I always try to do the same for you although I am conscience that I may fall short in that category at times. My intentions are always good.

You always thank me— saying things like, ‘I changed your life’ and that you have better going opportunities for yourself because of me. Because of that day. I always tell you that you deserve it and I truly mean it. You deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way. But what I really need to tell you is how you changed my life. Life is not what it appears to be through the screen and behind the scenes I was really struggling. You inspired me to keep pushing forward and made me realize that my goals are possible. You do that a lot. Inspire others. Whether you notice it or not or believe it. I don’t know what kind of mindset I’d have right now if it wasn’t for meeting you that day— so thank you. Now for the real surprise! A surprise I’ve been dying to get to you and I know I’m going to be going crazy until I know you’ve received this. I miss you so much and I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you do as well. Let’s change that…”

You hiccup as you finish reading the letter. Tears streaming down your brown cheeks that carries a reddened undertone. Jungkook laughs horrendously at you as you cry from the words Jungkook poured out into your letter. “I totally did not expect you to cry.” He says in between laughter, holding onto his stomach for dear life.

“I didn’t even know you could read, let alone write.” You say, joining in with the laughter as you wipe away your tears. Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Don’t make me take it all back.” He says and you shake your head. You’d never forget a word that was written in this letter. Impossible. “What do you mean let’s change that? I hope you don’t mean this phone call, this was absolute hell Jungkook.” He laughs, fluffing his hair out. “No, you devil. Flip the page.” He says and you raise your brows. You weren’t even aware that there was a second page. But when you do. You nearly throw the card because of what taped to it.

“What the fuck!” You scream and Jungkook even flinches. Covering your face as more tears fall down your eyes. Jungkook awkwardly look at you not really knowing if that was a good reaction or not.

“D— do you like it or…?” He trails off. You drop your hands from your face to check and see if he’s being for real.

“Are you kidding me?! You got me a ticket to fucking South Korea— what do you mean, ‘do you like it?’ I fucking love it!” He smiles and leave to get a tissue to blow your running nose. When you come back you find him sitting in his gaming chair.

“Thank you,” you mutter. Your voice is coarse from all of the crying and screaming. Jungkook smiles at you once he notices your back. Even after crying he still thinks you’re absolutely stunning. He can’t wait for you to be by his side in person.

“Thank me by packing a bag.”

You fan yourself at full tilt, sweat forming on your forehead, ruining your perfectly laid edges. The black baseball cap and mask that covered half of your face seems to be collecting heat for later. You roll your heavy blue luggage behind you as you exit the Incheon International Airport.

As you exit, the bright sun beams over you. Immediately, you remove the cap and mask, stuffing it inside the side poket of your purse. You look around the busy streets trying to find the familiar man. Within seconds you see him. That tall, raven haired, bubble nosed, doe eyed, breathtaking man. Who’s currently running across the street, arms up in the air, smiling from ear to ear like a lunatic.

You can’t even get your insult out before he nearly knocks the wind out of you, engulfing you into a big hug. You stumble over your feet but Jungkook makes sure to keep you upright. He picks you up in his big, strong arms, spinning you around out of pure excitement. “_______, are you real?” You laugh at him, smacking his arms to let you down.

“You ask me am I real after picking me up? That’s usually how people get the cops called on them.” You joke and he glares at you. “Yeah, you’re real.” He says, dissembling a disappointed tone before walking away and you slap his back, following him to his car.

The drive to his house from the airport is short of two hours. The two of you catch up on lost time, talking about everything and nothing all at once. Jungkook has the whole weekend planned out for the two of you. Lots of sightseeing and lots of streaming. You couldn’t help but be excited because knowing Jungkook and his energy, it’s bound to be a crazy productive time.

“Can you just tell me at least one thing? It’s just one thing— I’m sure you have tons of shit planned for today.” You whine and Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“I told you that we’d be streaming.”

“We were gonna do that regardless of the plans!” Jungkook looks at you once he’s made a stop at the red light. He forgets what he was going to say when he looks at how sunkissed your face is. The sun seems to be doing wonders today. Jungkook always found himself stuck on your ethereal beauty. He can’t even put in words how hypnotic you are. One glance at you made him feel like he’s somewhere over the moon, Jungkook sometimes have to remind himself that he shouldn’t feel this way. Not towards a friend. But fuck— look at the way the your skin is basking in the sunlight! He just want to take a bite out of you and—

“Would stop staring at me and drive please? The light is green.” Your brows furrow at the man who seems to be in a trance while staring at your face. Not the first time and you doubt it’ll be the last. Jungkook reluctantly eyes the road again, stepping on the gas.

“Wow, you pick random people off of the ground and have a staring problem. Do you do that with everyone or just me?” There’s a pause. The silence is loud. Only the sound of the music floods the car.

“You wanna get something to eat real quick?” He changes the subject. You let out a little snicker before saying that you aren’t hungry. The silence in the car maintains and easily shifts into a comfortable silence. You take the opportunity to observe his side profile.

Noticing so many things that you hadn’t during those few hours two months ago. Things that the facetime call hadn’t even picked up. Mindlessly, you run a hand through his hair. Playing in his soft, raven, layered curls. Collecting his hair in your grip, you hold it on the top of his hair, creating a messy ponytail. You notice the tan line on his neck.

“You have a tan?!” You shout, making the man flinch at the sudden volume change. “Yes… did you have to scream?” He glances at you briefly, eyes widened, before adverting his eyes back on the road ahead. Dropping your grip from his hair you take a moment to observe his freshly tanned skin.

“I just notice,” you hum.

“You look good.” You add, nonchalantly and you see him trying to hide the goofy smile forming on his face. You laugh. “What?! You do.” You insist and he nods his head with a downturned smile. You find it real ironic that he’s flustered after constantly being so cocky over the phone with you.

“Whatever.” He speaks lowly, scratching his eyebrow. Smiling up at him, you look at him in awe. “You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re not being all cocky.” You tilt your head to the side, purposely teasing the man. Stopping at yet another red light, he takes the time to smirk at you.

“If you want to suck my dick, just say that.” Your smile drops, face scrunching up in disgust.

“You make me sick.”

“Welcome!” Jungkook dramatically says, arms wide open, doing his awful impersonation of Cory Kenshin. You raise your brow as your friend continues to dance his way through the apartment, completely unimpressed.

You kick off your shoes at the entryway before stepping inside of the luxurious apartment. Jungkook does a little twirl in his black socks before ending it with a star pose. You can’t help but laugh at the obnoxious performance, shaking your head as he breathes heavily in his pose. “Esta es mi casa!” Your eyebrows furrow before sighing in defeat, walking past the man as you make your way the large island in the kitchen.

“I see your Spanish sucks just bad as your performance.” He sends you a glare before walking over to you. “Good thing I’m not here for either of those things.” You say before clapping your hands together. So,” Jungkook raises a brow as your eyes shift left to right. “Where’s your room?”

The notorious smirk returns and fluffs his hair. “Damn, you just got here and you already trying to get me in bed.” He says smugly, stepping closer to you as he looks you up and down. You would try to act all disgusted like you usually dissemble but the way he’s towering over you is making you a bit weak in the knees.

You stagger your way past him before he could come any closer. For some reason, when you two planned for you to stay in this tall, wealthy, tatted up, gym rat’s home for the weekend there was never any thoughts that this might be a problem. But now that you’re here, in an apartment alone with him. You can’t help but realize that this might be a problem.

Shaking the thought, you focus on the current problem: you can’t find his room. You enter the random door down a random hall and it leads you to the gym set up he has. Curiously, you observe the room, looking at the excessive amounts of weights and machinery.

“Found my room yet?” You jump at the sudden voice, turning around just to get towered over by the man once again. “Can you stop doing that.” You frustratedly say.

“Stop doing what?”

“Standing over me!” Your brows crease together as you look up at him. His hair hangs over his forehead as his dark eyes bore into yours. “Can’t help it if you’re short.” He battles and you scoff at the comment. “I’m not even that much shorter than you, you’re just doing it on purpose— move!” You attempt to push him away from you but he doesn’t budge. Not even a little step back. Not even an inch. Your hands placed on his chest— more so on his pecks. You can feel how firm they are. If only you could just squeeze them, just a tiny bit you—

“Having fun?” He asks, smirking down at you for what seems like the umpteenth time since you’ve landed in South Korea. Your hands are burning and so is your face. You’re absolutely right. This is gonna be a problem.

“Fuck the room, I’m gonna unpack in the kitchen.”

Eventually, Jungkook helps you bring your belongings in the room you’ll be sleeping in after you carefully folded them on the island.

His apartment is not what you had imagined at all. Sure you had seen a few glimpses of it during facetime calls but there was no full house tour. His home is very neat and capacious, everything very minimalistic. White flooring, walls, countertops, ceilings. Topped off with all black furniture throughout the whole apartment. Honestly, it’s hard to go wrong with that. Did you mention it was clean?

Jungkook gave you the overall tour of the house before the two of you settled in his (much anticipated) room to start streaming. The stream was fun to say the least. Highly energetic, as expected from the popular spunky streamer. You answered a lot of questions and played a few games.

What wasn’t expected was all of the comments shipping you and Jungkook together.

Tons of comments flooded in— all types of ship names and theories of your relationship. ‘An alleged friendship’, they called it. You were too flustered to even respond to them so Jungkook would entertain it by constantly teasing you. Jungkook ended the stream with his usual outro. Of course not without letting the viewers know that you’ll be back to streaming in a few hours. Attending to all of the things Jungkook has planned for you two to do today.

You sit on the gaming chair next to Jungkook, leg bouncing up and down. Something that started out as a question has led to a small argument. Over something so ineffable, you can’t even explain it to yourself without getting conflicted.

“How are you not seeing this from my point of view?” You question (hypocritically), growing frustrated with your friend who is more confused than anything. Because why does it matter if his fans think you two are dating?

“I don’t even know what we’re arguing about right now. It’s not a big deal, _______.” He reaches out to grab your hands in attempt to calm you down, but you quickly pull back. He sighs in defeat. Leaning back in his chair.

“It is though.” You say with less agitation, fiddling with the ends of your braids that rests on your lap, quickly growing tired of the back and forth.

“Enlighten me.” Jungkook perks up, leaning forward in his chair. The whole situation has you flustered and now you regret even saying anything to the man who is now too close for comfort. “Because,” you advert your eyes away from him, looking at the streaming monitor. “You entertaining it will make them start thinking that we’re actually dating and we’re not.” You explain, face as stoic as you can manage. You hear a shift in his movement before turning to look at him again. His arms crossed over his chest.

“Would that be so bad?” He says, seemingly a little offended. You furrow your brows in confusion, not sure what he’s getting at. “Would what be so bad?”

“Dating me,” he emphasizes and you can literally feel your heart sink. Feeling as if you’ve just dropped ninety degrees on a deadly roller coaster. “You’ve been talking as if I’m the fucking plague or something. Why is it so bad that people think we’re dating _______, hm?” He tilts his head after his interrogation. You remain silent. Scared you might say something stupid if you talk.

“Am I not attractive to you? Or, you think I’m frontin’ for my streams—”

“What are you trying to get at here?!” You shake your head in confusion. The roles have quickly changed. Now Jungkook is the one frustrated and you can’t be anymore lost than what you are right now.

“Nothing, obviously!” He stands up, walking over to the large windows in his room. His back facing you as he interests himself with the view outside. You hesitantly approach him, standing not too far behind him as you gently place a hand on his shoulder. “It’s none of that. That’s not—” You pause and his shoulders rises then falls before he turns around to face you. “Can you ever see yourself being in a relationship with me?” He rips the bandage off, tired of beating around the bush.

The question sends a funny little twirl to your tummy. It’s not your first time hearing the familiar question. Having heard it from a few friends several times every time you mentioned the name of your distant friend.

Hearing the same question— out of Jungkook’s mouth now, is totally different. It indicates that he himself has thought about it. What it’d be like if the two of you were together. But the same response stands. “We— you know— I haven’t really… thought about it.” You stammer over your words. Feeling slightly intimidated under his gaze.

“I mean, I do find you attractive— I have eyes for god’s sake. I enjoy talking to you and… all that good stuff.” Jungkook watches you as you sort through your thoughts. His eyes flickering back and forth between yours and your plump lips. “I’m not really in touch with my emotions, like I can be really oblivious at times.” You speak lowly, standing confounded by this whole interaction.

There’s never been a moment in time where you found yourself falling victim to a guy. Not loosing your virginity until your college days— even those encounters were filled with nothing other than pure lust. While everyone else was busy having crushes and dating, you focused on your future. You however aren’t oblivious to the fact that your body reacts differently while around your so called friend. But you never thought anything of it really— the man is hot! Anyone who has a beating pulse could say that much. Figuring that the tall dreamy man is simply just too hot to handle, you brush it off. Now as you stand helplessly, spotlight on you, you try to remember those feelings and what they could mean.

Meanwhile, Jungkook is stuck. Again. He can’t even help it and he doesn’t try to fight it anymore.

You’re gorgeous— and he has no clue as to what you just said even though his eyes never leave your tempting lips. You notice how the silence floods the room, creating an intense tension between the two of you. As mentioned before, oblivion fills you and before you can say anything to break the silence, Jungkook beats you to it.

“I’m about to do something and if you want me to stop, I give you all permission to slap me.” His words are rushed and he doesn’t give you the time to speak, scared of what might fall out of your mouth. His hands gently take hold of your face before his lips meet yours.

Kissing you. Jungkook is kissing you. You process the sudden action rather slowly. His soft lips move against yours as you hear the boisterous sound of your heart drumming in your ears.

Wait… Jungkook is kissing you?

Said man is left with a stinging pain to his cheek, his hand abruptly lifting to hold the reddened flesh. His eyes widen as he comes to terms with the fact you just slapped him. Well, he did say you could. He honestly just didn’t think you would act on it. You whisper out a small “sorry”, feeling horrible for hitting him despite the authorized permission he gave you and Jungkook is unable to look you in your eyes, mood gone pensive.

He figures he’s gotten his answer but stands corrected once you wrap your arms around his neck, feverishly placing your lips on his. There was a feeling of absence— emptiness after you not so lightly smacked him away. Now that your lips are interlaced with his again and that rapid sound of your heartbeat is drumming in your ears again, your fingers scavenging through the curly mullet. You think you understand. Understand that you might be a bit smitten with the highly energetic streamer. Highly energetic and talented with his mouth, you must say. His hands travels to your waist, the crop top your sporting allowing him feel the smooth of your skin under his touch.

“Wait.” He murmurs against your lips before pulling away. Heavy breathing fills the bed room. You look at him with much desperation in your eyes. Desperate for the sweet taste of his lips curled around yours. He prays for the good lord to give him strength. Sighing, he manages to find his self control. “I really do like you _______ and as much as I enjoy kissing you, I need to know your intentions.” He says, fingers tracing shapes on your waist.

“I— I think I like you too.” You respond, sounding more like a question than an answer. However, that’s not good enough for Jungkook. He needs to know that you like him and you want him— it doesn’t matter if it’s to the same extent that it is for him. Just something to let him know that you’re invested in him because he’s damn sure invested in all of you.

“Okay, I’m not gonna break this down into simple terms because you’re not thirteen but—”

“Good because you’d be considered a pedophile if I were.” You tilt your head sarcastically and he shakes his head refusing to even respond to that comment. “If I were to go out tonight and find a woman— and hook up with her,” he emphasizes the last part. “Would you be mad— or feel any type of way?”

With no delay, you flick a brow and slightly cock your head back. Utterly offended. “Why the hell would you go and do that?” The response is so bitter, you almost question whether or not it came out or your mouth. Jungkook’s face of anticipation is sent flying and a huge toothy smile is etched across his face, gushing with relief. “Okay,” he whispers. You close your eyes, shaking your head.

“Okay?” You ask and he nods, the bunny toothed smile shines on. You beckon him to further explain his thoughts and is ultimately caught off guard when he grabs your arms instead. Wrapping them around his neck before lifting you off the ground, his hands grasping the back of your thighs.

“What are you doing?” You gasp out, heart pounding rapidly as you feel a spark run through your veins. So abnormal, you never felt anything like this before. You haven’t even been in this man’s presence a full 24 hours yet and somehow the problem you were previously worried about, doesn’t appear all that consequential. Not when the solution has been presented.

“I’ve waited so long just to hold you in my arms. And now that my confession that I had planned for today is completely ruined—”

“You were going to confess?” You spew out, interjecting his words for the umpteenth time today. “Why you’re full of questions, aren’t you?” He teases before placing a soft kiss onto your cheek. Traveling with you in his arms, you close your eyes while he places slow, tender kisses against your neck. Gently placing you on the cool, welcoming bed. Your body sinks into the resilient foam, feeling snug and warmth when Jungkook’s large frame slightly hovers over you.

“It didn’t take me long to realize that I have feelings for you. Now, I don’t know how that cute little mind of yours work.” He slightly snickers when you cutely purse your lips, tucking a lone braid behind your ear. Looking at you with much adulation in his eyes, you can’t help but cotton into. “But I do know that I will do everything I can for you to feel at least half the amount happiness you give me.”

Reaching your hands out, your thumbs caress his cheeks, brushing over the faint scar. Jungkook shivers under your feathery touch. “I do.” Your thumb slowly travels down to his swollen lips. Fiddling with the silver lip ring that decorates the bottom of the pair. “You make me happy. I’ve never felt this way before.” Jungkook leans down, his knee sinking down further into the bed, to capture your lips again.

Your hands’ fervently roaming the other’s body. Jungkook shutters at the feeling of your hands on his body when they travel their way under his white crew neck. The taste of your coconut flavored chapstick making him dizzy. His lips leave yours, going to strip away his shirt. Exposing his toned muscles and sleeve of tattoos that you’ve yet to fully appreciate and admire.

You let out a shaky breath underneath the lusty muscular man. “You’re not really gonna hook up with someone else right?” You thoughtlessly ask. There’s no way he’s going to present this to any other woman. Not after this. Not when you’re ready to bow down to kiss his feet and willingly fold yourself like a pretzel for him.

The buff man nearly chokes on his laughter. “No, _______” That ethereal smile beams back at you. He leans down to place another kiss on your plumped lips. “I only want you… only you.” He confesses, followed with open mouthed kisses against your neck. Your eyes fall close. Jungkook’s hands make their way under your crop top, cupping your rounded breast through the thin layer of your bra.

You wince at the pressure put on your sensitive nipples. He trails kiss down your neck to your chest, slowly lifting your shirt and you help him, breaking the kiss for no more than a couple of seconds to pull the clothing over your head.

The two of you are like two horny teenagers, desperately going at it. You’ve never been one to crave sex— it’s enjoyable, sure. But you can also go long ways without having any sexual interactions. You can and you have.

However, with Jungkook, you need him. You crave him. Suddenly, after all those dickless years you can no longer stand strong. At least not under him. The deprivation of his touch is killing you even though he’s right above you passionately caressing and kissing all over your body. It’s not enough. If there was a way to be in his skin, you’d most certainly figure it out and act on it effective immediately.

You waste no time, eagerly snatching all of your clothes off, the clothing being discarded every which way across his spacious bedroom. You let out needy whimpers as Jungkook glides his dick up and down your wet folds, his long length laying flat, mushroom tip repeatedly brushing pass your clit, stimulating you further.

“You’re so wet baby.” Jungkook grunts relishing in the way his dick slides so easily across your slippery cunt. “Stretch me out, Kook.” You breathlessly say, clenching your tight pussy around nothing, feeling the need of his length to fill you up.

“I should prep you first. I don’t want to hurt you.” Showing uncertainty behind his soft words that makes your stomach shake. You’ve never been one for masochism, but ironically enough, the thought of Jungkook tearing your pussy up, stretching your tight cunt makes you even more aroused, if even possible. You let a low moan out at the idea and Jungkook’s dick twitches.

“No please— just fuck me. Need you now.” There’s no delay, Jungkook is more than delighted to fulfill your desires. He strokes his girthy length, slick from your loads of arousal before dipping his dick slowly into your opening. A load grunt leaves Jungkook’s mouth once the mere tip of his dick slips in. He can already feel the pressure of your tight cunt around him.

Your cunt engulfs his member as it slowly disappears in the depths of your core. Covering your mouth with your hand to diminish the sound of your loud lewd moans. Once his dick is fully inside, he lowers himself to plant a kiss your lips. Light and feathery and full of care. “Are you okay?” He asks, still feeling a bit perturbed. His eyes laced with concern.

You weakly smile at him, initiating another kiss. “I’m all good.” You say, which instantly satisfies the buff man. He quickly pecks your lips before lifting up again. His hands caress your thighs as he gently separates them.

Conjoined moans feel the room as Jungkook slowly stretches you out. His thick, long dick penetrating into your cunt. The sounds being released out of your mouths’ and the squelching sound of your juices lapping around Jungkook’s dick is music to your ears. After a hand full of thrusts you beckon Jungkook to go faster. Jungkook, being the obedient man he is, thrashes into your cunt. His pace quickens all while deeply infiltrating your leaking cunt.

Your arousal creating a large wet spot on the silk black comforter, lathering the inside of your thighs. “Fuck, you feel so good around my dick— mm. So tight and wet, so fucking beautiful.” He lowly curses before grabbing onto your hand. Your body jerks forward as Jungkook continues to fuck into you. He bite his lip, trying to stay strong and not cum right away. But the way the warmth of your pussy is hugging his length, it’s not so easy.

“K— Kook, shit right there.” You grab onto your boob with your free hand for moral support because you feel like you’re going insane. Your pussy clenches around his dick sending him groaning. “I’m gonna cum, fuhh!” Jungkook hastily nods his head before letting go of your hand, going to rub his thumb against your slippery clit. Your back arches against the bed as he fucks into you so good, overstimulated from the amounts of pleasure.

“Cum on my dick, _______.” Jungkook grabs your waist, pounding into your pussy harder. Which is followed by a trail of incoherent whimpering and whining. You let out a loud scream as you release your load around Jungkook’s length.

The sounds of your pussy squelching around Jungkook’s dick as he rides out your high grows louder and soon he’s due for his own release.

“Fuck!” Quickly sliding out of your cunt, he strokes his length in haste before loads of thick white semen drags out onto your stomach.

Heavy breathing crowds the room as you try to recuperate from the previous event. Jungkook gets up from his bed without a word, leaving the room. After a little over a minute, he returns with a towel and a pack of baby wipes in hand. Coming to clean you up. It’s impossible to hide your growing smile whilst Jungkook silently and intently cleans you up.

“After care goes crazy.” You jokingly comment and Jungkook tries to remain stoic but fails miserably when he ends up laughing. “You can’t take anything serious, can you?” He shakes his head, smile still holding up.

“I take you seriously.” You lowly speak. Jungkook shoots you a smile before going to recover your clothes off the floor, throwing the towel in the garbage. He slips his boxer briefs back on and tosses his shirt to you, wanting you to wear it and you do. The room is silent. A little too quiet for comfort and you don’t want to grow accustomed to the silence so you grab Jungkook’s wrist to stop him from cleaning.

“Sit down.” You say softly, but the tone is simply a facade. Jungkook is well aware that you’re demanding attention so he cooperates. “I want this.” Simply put, but very self explanatory. Jungkook lets out a sigh, staring into your eyes intently. “I wonder what could’ve possibly changed your mind.” He sarcastically speaks, reflecting on the irony of the situation. Your hands wrap around his neck, fiddling with the hair on the nape of his neck, tempted to pull him into another longing kiss.

But you don’t. You don’t need Jungkook thinking you’re only saying this because your dick crazed. Despite your emotional awakening happening prior to having sex with Jungkook, you know that there’s something else there in your heart. Your interest and liking for Jungkook resides outside of sexual attraction and interactions. His meek attitude and sexy figure is just the cherry on top. There’s a connection between you two that makes you inexplicably happy— a sense of security.

“I’m new to this whole relationship process— never been in one my entire life. Everyone speaks of finding the perfect person, their person. And if it’s anything like how people have explained… I think it’s you.” He watches as you stare lovingly into his bambi eyes.

“It’s me?” He whispers, his breath lightly nuzzling your lips that are just inches away from his. You hum, face etched in mischief.

“What is that you said to me? Wha— would you be mad if I hooked…”

“Up with another woman, yes I did say that.” He finishes, lowering his head to hide the growing smile. “And if I recall correctly,” you dipping your head as Jungkook dodges teasing looks. “When I asked you if you’d actually do that, you said no.” You catch his face in your palms forcing him to look at you. The bulbs of his face are bright red and his dimples are deeply inscribed in his risen cheeks.

“Only you.” Repeating the words he vowed to you earlier. You nod your head, uncontrollably squeezing his cheeks in your hands. “Okay well the same goes for me.” Quickly placing a kiss on his forehead before speaking again. “Only you. You have my word.” Jungkook shyly nods, refusing to look you in the eyes still. You giggle at his oddly shy behavior, cracking out and amused “what”.

“Kissing me on my forehead and shit— feels domestic as fuck.” You release a loud laugh in his face to which Jungkook joins in, unable to control himself, your laugh being contagious to the man. Pinning Jungkook on the bed, you smother his face with kisses.

The scene is something you yourself would often cringe at when witnessing other couples. Hypocritically, you bask in the laughter that escapes yours and Jungkook’s mouth. Revel in the way Jungkook’s strong hands grab at your waste when your lips curls around his. This is something you can get used to. You never want to stop feeling this way ever. And you have a feeling that as long as Jungkook is by your side, you’ll feel this way for a very long time.

On top of the world.

“We’re behind schedule.” Jungkook mutters against your lips and you strain your neck to peek at the clock on the nightstand beside the bed. You are in fact behind schedule. “Benny will be here any minute now.” He says, grabbing your arm so he can roll from underneath your hold. Leaving the room to put his clothes on and use the restroom.

You also get up to put your clothes back on, fixing your hair and makeup in the mirror. When Jungkook returns he sneaks behind you and circles his arms around his waist, his chin atop of your head. His tatted hand traveling just under your breast. “You’re so gorgeous, _______.” He whispers softly. You hum with your eyes closed as Jungkook pushes his clothed crotch against your ass. His mouth latching onto your neck, being sure not to leave any marks. “Kook,” you say once you feel his hand dip underneath your shirt, going to cup your tit.

“Hmm?” He continues to grind his growing bulge against your thick ass. You tightly squeeze your thighs together, feeling the familiar sudden sensation between your legs. “No, we have to go.” You shake out of his hold, turning around to see the faint pout on his lips. But soon reluctantly agrees.

“Benny’s outside.” You say, looking out the window as Jungkook hurriedly grabs everything he needs. He jogs over to you with a bright smile on his face. Pecking your lips which takes you by surprise. “Got everything.” You nod your head and the two of you stalk down the stairs. Jungkook smacks your ass before you open the door, gasping, you turn around with a warning glare. He smirks down at you.

“You better behave once we HOP ON THE STREAM.”

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[motherofdogs1010]

A Jedi in Arrakis (Paul Atreides x Reader)

Summary: While on the run from Empire troops, Jedi padawan Y/N comes to find out that hyper-driving in a compromised craft can have some major setbacks when she discovers not only is on a new planet but a whole new galaxy as well...

Warnings: jedi!reader, eventual 18+, NSFW, angst, fluff, eventual smut/pinv!sex, oral sex, talks of questioning the Force and teachings, more to come as story progresses

A/N: Like Ahsoka, I left Reader to have white, which means they are neutral and I feel Anakin would have taught any other padawans to be neutral when it came to the Force. The type of lightsaber Reader has for any photo reference is the same type Darth Maul has!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics Banner by @vase-of-lilies

Part II

She had e/c eyes that looked at him softly as she laid beside him; the white silk she wore over her body showing the curves she possessed as she reached a hand out and caressed his cheek.

"Paul", she softly said, her skin tanned and soft.

Her hair fell around her and framed her face as she blinked.

"Paul..."

Her voice lulled him before he heard a humming, a buzz of electricity coming to light before a white light took over, shielding him from her...

🪐

In a galaxy far, far away...

Hands gripping the steering wheel of her craft, Y/N looked at the controls to see if hyperdrive was even possible and saw that it was not yet as she dodged another Imperial craft shooting at her.

"BB, you better hold onto your metal butt", she called out to her robotic companion.

BB-1 was a BB prototype similar to the R2-D2 design with the little robot being circular and having a teal color scheme; she heard the little robot let out a squeak as it rolled to secure itself to something.

Y/N hadn't thought of the Empire being on Dantooine but she thought wrong; she had been sent there by her Jedi Master, Anakin while Ahsoka (her fellow padawan/classmate) was sent to assist in the Clone Wars on the field. This intel was supposed to be useful to the Rebellion against the Clone War and Y/N knew if she was captured, that could only result in terrible things.

"BB", she said as she dodged a meteor in their path. "Connect to the database and upload what we got then delete everything."

BB let out a little beep followed by a whirling noise before getting to the task as she saw the Storm Troopers still on their path.

It was an agonizing five minutes of waiting for BB to upload the data, hearing an excited beep from BB as she had just winced as their craft was hit with another beam from the Storm Trooper craft just as she saw that hyperdrive was possible as the system alerted her of all the damage.

"Alright, BB!" she said, looking over her shoulder. "Now really hold on to your metal butt! It's going to be bumpy!"

BB let out a whirl of noises just as she hit the button for hyperdrive...

Her head was pounding as heard BB's concerned noises before she heard the beeping of the ship and opening her eyes with a gasp and looking around, it all rushing back to her of the system failure during hyperdrive, her trying to navigate as they were descending fast onto an unknown planet.

"Hold on, BB", she said, "let me... let me grab my-"

She grasped at her side where her lightsaber was clipped as she un-clipped herself from her seat, standing up as she winced from the headache; BB came towards her and beeped, Y/N patted its round little head as she went to the door of the ship, hitting the button to open it but saw wouldn't budge.

With a sigh, Y/N went to where her supplies pouch was and making sure she had plenty of water and food before activating her lightstaber, its white energy glowing as she stuck it into the metal of the door, doing her best of welding it open.

And with success she did as she managed to budge the door open to show a endless desert with hot air that hit her in the face; it reminded her of Tatooine with its similar landscape except she would say Tatooine had more rocky structures than this place.

"Where are we, BB?" she voiced as she stepped out.

The sun was hot against beige tunic and she frowned under the force of the heat, looking at BB before putting her hands on her hips.

"I guess let's do some exploring, huh?"

🪐

It was hard walking through all the sand, making sure she didn't stumble as she walked. And it was pretty boring considering there was just sand and oh, more damn sand; she wondered why it looked like the sand glittered at some points as her and BB continued their journey before her eyes widened at the sight of a large machine that reminded her of AT-AT Walkers except this one was larger in width and was... digging into the sand?

Either way, that had to mean that people were around as she began to jog towards there considering that it was so close.

BB rolled easily over the sand as they heard the sound of aircrafts and looking up, she saw two that resembled a bug, a dragonfly really. It hovered in the air as if it was looking over the machine and she squinted as she looked before beginning to feel the ground begin to shake violently to the point that she was knocked over.

Looking around, her first thought was a Nightwatcher worm and she looked at the machine as she begun to run with BB following closely; she held her lightstaber in her hand, her pouch bouncing as she ran with all her might to the machine.

Paul watched as the dust cloud grew as the sandworm quickly approached the Harvester, his father arguing that it was better to save the men on the Harvester than prioritize the Spice.

"Forget the Spice, we need those men", Leto argued and Paul's eyes squinted as he saw two figures running towards the Harvester.

"Look there", Paul pointed, his father leaned and looked.

"It's a girl and a... robot?" he said.

A.I. and anything of that nature had been banned in the Empire since the great war against A.I. so many centuries ago so it was curious as to who this was.

"How many men are on that?" his father asked.

"21", Shadout responded. "23 with the girl and the robot."

"We can only carry 6 on each ship", Paul mentioned.

"We'll make it work", his father confidently said.

🏜️

She was right that machine would draw in people as it was being evacuated as the sandworm was coming closer. BB was squealing as the sandworm was hot on their trail before she panted, "Go, BB! I'll hold it off!"

BB squealed and she said, "Go! I'll be there too!"

Turning around, she panted as she sucked in a breath and held her hand out, focusing her mind on the Force and its power as the creature closer. She felt vindicated as she saw the creature hit a invisible wall, panting and sweating as she held back the creature, the heat exhaustion getting to her as she tried her best to keep the creature back as black began to spot into her vision.

Suddenly, a hand gripped her shoulder and she looked to find two men: one around her age with handsome, pale features and dark curled hair, and an older man with greying hair.

"Come on, follow us", the older man said, she nodded.

With a final push of the Force, she ran behind the men onto one of the ships, stumbling but gleefully cheering once she saw BB there, who twirled in happiness and squealed.

"BB", she said, the robot rolling to her and she hugged it. "I told you I'd make it."

BB let out noises and she laughed.

"You understand that?" a man asked.

"Don't you?" she asked as she stood. "Where am I?"

"You're on Arrakis", a older man with thick dark hair and a facial beard said. "I'm Duke Leto of House Arrakis and this is my son, Paul. Do you mind telling me where you're from?"

"Arrakis? I've never heard of it", she mumbled, "I'm Y/N L/N from Naboo. What star system is this?"

"Canopus", Leto said and Y/N's eyes widened. "Where is this Naboo? I've never heard of such a planet in the Empire?"

Y/N now realized where she was as BB let out a concern noise. They weren't just in an entirely different solar system, they were in an entirely different galaxy...