aurorasanddsadprosee

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can someone invent a type of letting go that actually feels good instead of feeling like your soul is getting ripped out via large intestine

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they need to invent a running away & never coming back that doesn’t affect your life

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Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

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i could add a few more stages to grief if they let me

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i know that life isn't a race and that everyone does things on their own schedule and that i shouldn't compare myself to other people who haven't lived the same life that i have and overcome the same obstacles i have. BUT

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real yearners know that they can even feel nostalgic about the present moment

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I'm, above all else, a tangentgirl. always saying shit like "sidenote," "oh also," "by the way,"

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— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

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the older i get the more im like. brown and green are such good colors

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I was once told I am not fit for any human relationship, whether it be platonic or romance. The words engraved themselves into my heart and soul, and so I began clawing at every possible chance of a connection. I went out of my way, taking paths I once thought were not feasible for one like me. I could feel every ounce of my soul being drained away by the ordeal, but I remained undeterred. At one point or another, I made a futile attempt to catch a labored breath, and a thought came to my forlorn mind: Am I doing this for myself? Or for the sole purpose of proving those torturing words false?

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now that we’re almost a year into the gaza genocide, you’d think change has happened. a lot can change in a year after all. but guess what? nothing! in fact, israel is now bombing another innocent country, displacing 18% of its population and killing over 2000 civilians. it’s gaza all over again. what’s the excuse now? with gaza it was hamas and the hostages, no matter how bullshit of an excuse it was. when will the world wake the fuck up? when the entirety of the middle east is eradicated?

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i wonder what it's like to have a quiet mind

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bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental

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Anne Michaels, from "Infinite Gradation," originally published in October 2017