#I think this year will be lonely

[victory-cookies]

school starts tomorrow and I’m trying to be okay

[ruporas]

a dull 25th (id in alt)

[ryllen]

love is a compilation of coincidences

... and chances u create urself

[adhd-merlin]

I enjoy the "sending my gay son to homophobia kingdom" jokes as much as the next person but, to be fair to hunith, I think people forget how unsafe ealdor was implied to be for merlin.

right in the first episode, in her letter, hunith tells gaius that she's afraid of what people in ealdor might do to merlin if he was found out (he is so clearly at odds with people here that, if he were to remain, I fear what would become of him). so afraid, in fact, that she packed merlin off to gaius as soon as she found out that will knew about his magic. it sounds like the two of them didn't even get the chance to say goodbye, so it must've happened very quickly:

[transcript from episode 1x10]

given hunith's fear, there's no reason to believe that people in ealdor were much more tolerant towards magic than people in camelot.

then, in episode 5x03, we see an instance of villagers taking matters into their own hands and attempting to burn an old woman on the pyre for being a witch. while this happened in camelot, it didn't have much to do with the king's laws – on the contrary, the villagers even tried to do it in defiance of arthur's direct orders.

I can imagine this happening in other villages — and ealdor is, as hunith wrote in her letter, a small one. Would it be easier to hide there, or in a city where hundreds live and nobody knows you? better yet, under the protection and tutelage of somebody who could teach you how to control your random outbursts of magic? she had no way of knowing merlin would end up spending most of his time under the prince's nose.

then, of course, there's the fact that merlin was not happy in ealdor. although in episode 1x10 he tells will that he didn't want to leave and that his mother made him, he also tells arthur in an earlier scene that he left because he did not fit in anymore and "wanted to find somewhere that [he] did". (was he lying to will when he said he wanted to stay, to soften the blow of him leaving? perhaps; though it's likely that he actually felt torn about it).

as merlin painfully admits to gaius later, the years before he moved to camelot were the loneliest of his life. and hunith would certainly have noticed her son's deep unhappiness.

so, to get to my point — hunith's choice wasn't as crazy as it sounds. sometimes the only option you're left with is sending your gay son to homophobia kingdom and hope that things turn out all right for him.

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Suspirium - Thom York

[crowlixcx]

[casualavocados]

Why don't you wait and give it to me on my birthday? Then I'll have to wait for half a year. It's too long. Half a year is too long? Think about how long I waited for you. "Too long." You don't want it? Then I'll take it back. Heyyy, fine, you win.

FEB 5, 2001 — HAPPY BIRTHDAY AI DI FEB 5, 1998 — HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEN YI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME

[pilkypills]

"You don't wish to dance, darling?"

"And risk treading on your toes? I've learned my lesson."

"Lucky for you, I’m graceful enough for the both of us. Let's join the next one."

[michelle-jacksons-art-blog]

Try these out!

[chinese--satellite]

"we've always been friends, we always will be friends. but friends is a big word."

[novantinuum]

somewhere up above the stars the wreckage of a Universe floats past

an AU ancient lonely god Steven I have. his moniker is Astra and I am obsessed with him right now.

[ruporas]

can’t talk about it

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.

Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."

The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"

The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."

The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."

The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."

The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]

[freakinflipflop]

I’m so enamored with Troy and Blink’s friendship bc like. These are two people who have not experienced actual friendship for a long time. And both of them have built up defense mechanisms to deal with that loneliness: Blink does everything asked of him to be helpful and wanted and needed, and Troy puts on a facade of a strong popular sportsguy to appear tough and admirable. But these traits are also what drive people away from them. No one ever truly gets close to Blink bc he’s deferential to everyone’s wants, and it leads to Blink building up resentment when he continues doing good things and gets nothing out of it. Troy’s performance of popularity really just makes him an asshole, and he’s unable to be genuine and more likely to do stupid things that hurt people

And so over the course of Wonderlust both of them have been drifting closer to friendship through plot and shenanigans, and then pushing each other away through the same flaws that they developed to deal with loneliness. Troy puffs himself up, Blink deprioritizes himself; Troy takes advantage of Blink, Blink hides resentment for Troy that bubbles up at unhelpful times. Episode 15 felt like a crazy turning point bc they’re 1. Directly recognizing their own flaws, 2. Making a commitment to working on them, and 3. Agreeing to help each other with them. And like!! Isn’t that insane!! We met not even a week ago, have been through and put each other through hell, and now I see what holds you back and I will stick with you as we both grow to become people that others might also want to be around!!

Anyways this is why I think Troy and Blink as besties is the best possible outcome and I hope they continue on this trajectory of not making each other worse and in fact reversing course on that process

[bags-of-regret]

Thinking about how long both Stans were alone for. Stanley trying and failing to not be alone while Ford pushed everyone away. How everything would be different if they just always had each other. It all came to an end with Dipper and Mabel omg sedate me

[vakarianshepard]

sole survivor!shepard and ashley’s friendship is so important to me. two people who survived an impossible situation, lost almost all their friends, and just. kept going. neither of them really had time to mourn, to process anything. shepard shipped off to N training, and ash is reassigned to the normandy and it’s just go here, on to the next mission. you survived. you’re fine. so what if you don’t feel like you deserve this? so what if your “success” cost you your friends? you’re lucky. right?

no one really gets it, and people bring it up like it’s something you should be proud of. and you can’t really blame them, how could they know? you lived, that's impressive! no one understands what it feels like to be the last person standing, surrounded by the bodies of people you failed care about.

but shepard knows. ashley knows. they don't have to talk about it much, but it's nice to have someone who understands. who you can turn to with your doubts and your questions and your grief. someone who can hear you out and say "i've been there" and mean it. someone who knows WHY you have to push yourself, why you have to be good enough— you have to be worth the lives of all the people who died to get you where you are. (how far are you going to drive yourself? are you trying to be a martyr?)

but no matter what, one of them dies. even if it’s temporary in shepard’s case. the only other person who got it. another friend, gone. whether shepard loses ashley on virmire or ashley loses shepard on the normandy, one of them is left behind. ash outlives two of her closest friends only a few months after losing her entire squad.

it makes me think about foundation, where after ash talks to rasa/brooks, she remembers one of her squad telling her "luck is for the lonely." i really think that would be on her mind again after both virmire and the destruction of the normandy. sure, she keeps getting "lucky" but always being the last one standing is pretty damn lonely too.