#I think this week what normally would've been a strength for the both of us just really played off each other in a horrendous way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

orgasming-caterpillar · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 11

Ranveer POV

The next four days passed by in a dreamy haze. They had choreographed most of their moves on the first day, made some minor corrections on the second. For the next two days, they played out the choreography, letting their bodies get used to the moves. From the rapidly changing positions to the breathless pauses, they were in total sync.

Ranveer doubted Raghav would be able to keep up, but he was pleasantly surprised. He's been getting surprised by Raghav a lot lately, something he decided to not think about.

Their bodies danced around each other like puppets on strings, controlled by the world's most skilled puppeteer. Imperfection was no longer a part of their vocabulary. If one of them were to fall, the other would lend a hand and the next moment they were back on their routine, so smoothly you'd think it was all a part of the act.

Raghav was an idiot a lot of the time, but he was right when he said they were dynamic together.

A few hours in the studio were absolutely exhausting, and it left them both desperate for a change of pace by seven in the evening. Then, they would lock the studio and walk to Raghav's house where they would practise a few more times. Raghav's mother would bring their plates to the basement, smiling at the determination radiating from the boys as they finished the last rehearsal.

Raghav would ramble about whatever as they ate, after which he would drop Ranveer off to his house. Ranveer always had a habit of taking a hot shower before sleeping. It was especially needed after a day like this to release the tension in his muscles after a whole day of physical activity.

This was what kept Ranveer alive. What pushed breath into his lungs and gave him the strength to be the person he needed to be. This spontaneity, this unbreaking discipline kept his mind and body in check.

Only a week was left until they were face to face with the dreaded competition. It was Sunday today, so he and Raghav had been practising all day. The hot shower was almost as comforting to Ranveer as the chai his mother made. Which is, by the way, a lot.

He sighed after the first sip, wishing Raghav was here too. The boy would kill for a good cup of tea any minute of the day. You could wake him up at midnight and ask if he wanted chai, three milliseconds later you would get a bleary 'yeah' as a reply.

He always said he liked the chai at Ranveer's house better. Bullshit, he had only drank it once. (He claimed Ranveer's mother did witchcraft, Ranveer said it was just mulethi.)

"Kaisi gayi practise?" his mother asked. She turned on the TV for her usual serial-bingeing.

"Bohot acchi," Ranveer replied.

His mother was about to say something, but at that moment Ananya screamed in the kitchen. They were both on their feet in a blink.

"Bhaiyaaaaaa-" she yelled.

"Kya hua!?" he asked, picking her up.

"Aap ke phone mein call aa raha hai. Jaldi se baat karlo, meko games khelne hain."

"Ananya, what is this? Kyu chillaye itni jor se? Normally bhi to bol sakte the na? Hame laga kuch-" his mother fretted while he grinned and took the phone from her. She could be such a beacon of tomfoolery sometimes.

The phone rang again and the candid he had set on Raghav's contact on his phone popped up on the screen. Does he have psychic powers now? ridiculed Ranveer.

He went to his room, picking up his cup of tea on the way. "Hi," he said as the door closed behind him.

"Kya kar raha hai?" came Raghav's voice through the device.

Ranveer dragged his chair over to the window and answered, "Funny thing, main tere hi baare me soch raha tha."

"How scandalous of you to think of me so late at night," he teased, annoying as ever.

"So I was thinking," Ranveer ignored him. "about how much you like chai. Mumma ne aaj itni badhiya chai banai thi. You would've loved it."

Raghav thought for a moment. "Should I stop by tomorrow? When I come to drop you off?"

That twisted something deep in his chest. He'd been to Raghav's house so many times, but Raghav had only been to his once. It was when he came here to shout at him. Ranveer's mother had offered him tea while she called for Ranveer, and then she heard shouting and then silence and then he was leaving without another word. He wanted Raghav to come here, but did his mother wish the same? "Sure," he said instead. "Thik hai."

"Nice. Pata hai maine call kyu kiya?"

"Did you fall in the toilet?" he snarked, just for the sake of their banter.

"Been there, done that. I don't repeat the same mistake twice."

Ranveer grinned, taking another sip of tea. "Seems like your parents had the same policy."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't have any siblings, do you?"

The line went silent for a long minute. "Fuck you," Raghav muttered quietly.

Ranveer burst out laughing.

"Fuck you, dude. Eat shit." He could hear the smile in Raghav's voice. "You are such an ass, and no one even know it because you mask it so well with your fucking sanskaar."

"Haan, haan, thik hai. Why did you call?"

"Sooooo, you know how I'm from Maharashtra?"

"...yes?"

"And do you know who our main rivals in the competition are?"

"Yes, they're Madhuri Gaikwad and Manorama Shankar from BCPA. Where are you going with this?"

"Madhuri Gaikwad, right? She's, uhhhh, kinda sorta…" he dragged out the vowels, and Ranveer was already dreading the words that would come next.

"What is it, Raghav?" he said in a tone sharper than he intended.

"S-she's my childhood friend," Raghav stammered.

Ranveer's shoulders sagged with relief. "Is that all?"

"She's my childhood best friend. We used to be inseparable before my family temporarily moved to the UK. I haven't seen her in, like, eight years and now I don't know what to do."

All Ranveer processed was, "Eight years?" That was around the time his life had gone to hell too.

"Yeah," Raghav said, "That was when both of my parents got crazy about art. They moved to the UK when my mom got an entry in one of the top art schools. She wasn't even that serious when she gave the entrance exam. It was like shooting in the dark because you know you will lose but you don't care about the result, and then suddenly there are lights everywhere and you see that you've hit the target. That's how my mom describes it. They didn't want to pass that opportunity and so my father also enrolled into a dance school nearby. I never spoke to Madhuri in those four years and I didn't know where she was for the next four."

Ranveer didn't know what to say. It shouldn't be this easy for Raghav to share all this. Did he trust Ranveer this much? Maybe it was easier for him to say those things. Not everyone is dysfunctional like me, Ranveer thought bitterly.

"How are your parents?" he blurted out.

"What?"

Ranveer fumbled for an excuse, but his mind had blanked out. Instead, he told the truth. "I don't know what to say. And it's making me feel like an asshole because tune literally itni private information share kardi aur main chup baitha hoon. So I'm just gonna let you talk more and listen."

He waited intently for a reply. After a while Raghav said, "Ranveer."

"Yeah?" he croaked.

"Tell me about your parents."

It took all of Ranveer's courage to not cut the call at that moment. Whether he liked it or not, he had made the other wait long enough for an explanation. It was about time he got the answers he'd been searching for.

"You promised you'd tell me why you wanted to quit dancing," Raghav reminded him. As if he ever forgot. "You're very secretive about that. And you're very secretive about your parents. I feel like these two are interconnected."

For a professional idiot and dumbass, Raghav was painfully smart.

"Ever the smartass, aren't you?" Lord, he hated how weak his voice sounded.

"Ranveer," Raghav said, softer than anything he'd ever heard come out of the boy's mouth. It would've made his knees buckle if he wasn't already sitting down.

"Hmm," he grunted, not quite trusting himself with words.

"Why did you want to quit dancing?"

He thought of his father. The earliest memories of him, swinging Ranveer on a swing, ice cream every sunday, the red bike he got Ranveer for his fifth birthday.

The time he made Ranveer cry.

The time and time again when he should've thought of his wife and child but didn't.

The time he suggested his mother abort Ananya.

How he left everything, left them, for his selfish dreams.

"The thing is," Ranveer began. And the moment he realised he was nowhere near as afraid of telling Raghav about this as he thought he was, there was no way to stop what came next.

Dancing On Your Heartstrings

Chapter 10 (chapter 1-9 here)

A minor correction about the prev chapters

Raghav pov

An array of emotions flashed through Ranveer's eyes, too quick for Raghav to read. He gulped. The significance of the moment, the unspoken knowledge that this right now will determine both their fates, hung heavy in the air. Still he couldn't help but look at his Adam's apple, its motion and how it sent a subtle ripple of activity throughout his throat muscles. Rein it in, Raghav, he told himself, this is NOT the time.

Raghav could see he was conflicted. He couldn't blame him. If he was in Ranveer's position, he would also contemplate if he was worthy of divulging his emotional baggage and secrets.

Whatever they were, it seemed Ranveer had decided he was not worth knowing those.

Ranveer took a step back, "it's none of your business. Please mere case se utar jaa." He took another step back, "Me ab kabhi dance nahi kar sakta, and there's nothing you can do about it."

He pivoted and started to go back, but Raghav took his hand and stopped him there. He didn't turn back, just letting him hold his hand. Raghav wanted to see his face, but it seemed his back had to do.

"Mujhe koi idea nahi hai teri life me kya ho raha hai, nor will I pretend that I do, but it seems you're letting it win, whatever it is that has pushed you into this." Raghav saw his back go rigid, his shoulder tense, and he knew he struck a chord. So he continued, "Some dance to release their tension, others dance to relieve their souls and escape their lives. But I've seen you, Ranveer, I see you," Ranveer's hand on his tightened, his grip on him giving him strength to continue, "and I know dancing sustains you. It feeds your soul. It gives you life. You come alive onstage and it's something people cannot tear their gazes off. You are magic to behold, Ranveer Kashyap. It would be a bit selfish of you to deprive the world of that beauty that only you can create, won't it?"

By the end of it, Raghav's voice was hoarse and he was surprised he wasn't on his knees begging him to stay. It certainly felt like it, like he just bared himself open and put himself on platter for Ranveer, his to stitch or ravage further.

After an eternity of silence, Ranveer faced him. What he saw on his face made his knees buckle in relief, made him release the breath he didn't know he was holding. Ranveer's eyes were wide, lined with silver. There was devastation written plain on his face, as if he was the victim of a Shakespearean tragedy.

He cleared his throat, cleared twice, "That's a lot of pretty words."

Raghav pulled his lips into a resemblance of smirk, even though on the inside he was damn near weeping, "What else did you expect to come out of this pretty mouth?"

Ranveer's eyes zeroed on the said mouth, and it made Raghav's heart stop. He couldn't move a muscle, couldn't do anything but watch him look at his lips. What is happening here? He wondered faintly. What in God's name is happening here?

His already dark eyes seemed darker, and the intense look of his eyes focused on his lips made Raghav bite them, feeling the look as if a burning finger stroked him there.

The movement jarring him out of his thoughts, Ranveer's eyes snapped to his, an odd look of determination and something else in them. Raghav jumped when he felt Ranveer's hand squeeze his. He'd forgotten they were still holding hands.

Ranveer pov

Pull yourself together, Ranveer scolded himself. Dear Lord, what was he doing, shamelessly staring at Raghav's lips like that? He felt goosebumps rising on his arm.

Raghav had gone through all that to get him back to dancing. And Ranveer repaid that by being a creep who didn't know where to put his eyes on. Sure, Raghav's lips were unlike any other he'd ever seen. They were the softest hue of pink, plush as the petals of a carnation. And then he was pulling the bottom lip between his teeth and oh lord.

Ranveer looked at him, determined to not let his eyes lose their way this time. What was he doing? Feeling ashamed of his own actions, he asked the first thing that came to his mind, "Where's the music?"

Raghav smiled, and the sparkle of joy in his eyes was almost enough to keep Ranveer's gaze from flickering back to his lips. Almost.

What brought him back to his senses was when the smile was replaced with a scowl. Whatever mysterious potion had been swirling in the air around them, it was gone now. He could sense the tension trickle back in.

"What do you mean where's the music? First you'll tell me why you ever even thought of quitting dancing."

The question he had dreaded the most was back, but he knew he couldn't avoid it any longer. "Raghav, I…"

"I'm listening," he replied.

"Listen. I know maine tujhe ignore kiya, I'm sorry. Maine bohot stupid decisions bhi liye recently, I'm sorry for that too." Ranveer mentally winced. This was just turning into him apologising for what a spectacular ass he had been, and he hadn't even realised until now. "I'll tell you everything, pakka. Just… abhi nahi."

Raghav weighed the options. Even through his fifteen layers of judgement, Ranveer saw where the favour was falling. "Okay," he said, and relief flooded through Ranveer. "But just know, I'll be haunting you for every waking moment until you tell me."

That was… okay. That was alright. Ranveer had survived worse. "So… Where's the music?"

The smile was back on his face, that unguarded joy back on those damned lips of his. "Right here."

#LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO #dancing on your heartstrings #madhav ke lekh

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bumblesimagines · 4 years ago

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Green Thumb

Part 8

Request: Yes or No

Sam and y/n had more development than y/n and Wanda lmao

You crossed your arms as you entered the room, glancing at the older man. You shared a look with Sam and Wanda, taking a seat in between Sam and Vision. You licked your lips, leaning towards Sam.

"What's this about?" You asked quietly, gaze flickering to Tony who sat in a corner.

"If I had to guess.. Probably about what happened in Lagos." Sam replied, glancing at Steve and Natasha. You frowned, looking at the Secretary of State.

"The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt." He began, gaze sweeping over everyone in the room.

"You have.. Fought for us, protected us, risked your lives but while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the term 'vigilantes.'"

"And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?" Natasha asked, studying the older man. You looked back at Tony Stark, making brief eye contact with him. It felt like an intervention. Or a teacher scolding their class after they made the sub cry.

"How about dangerous?" You frowned, looking forward when you heard his words.

"What would you call a group of US based enhanced individuals who routinely ignore borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, quite frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?" Mr. Secretary asked, looking over the small group in disappointed. You'd hate to admit it, but he had a point. The citizens of Sokovia were left to find new homes and the people of Lagos had to fix what had been destroyed. Mr. Secretary stepped to the side, looking at the screen. Videos began playing of all the times the Avengers caused destruction and most likely death. Wanda looked away, growing uncomfortable as the aftermath of the Lagos incident played. She already felt guilty enough about it. She had told you many times how she wished it would've gone differently. Steve noticed, frown deepening.

"That's enough." He called, watching the screen turn off.

"For the last few years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's a decision the governments of the world can no longer tolerate." Mr. Secretary told them, hands clasped behind his back. You frowned, brows furrowing slightly.

"But we have a solution." Mr. Secretary took a book from his bodyguard, stepping forward and handing it to Wanda. Wanda picked it up, looking it over.

"The Sokovia Accords.. Approved by a hundred and seventeen countries." Wanda slid the book over to Rhodes so he could take a proper look at it. You looked at Mr. Secretary as he walked around the table.

"It states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of The United Nations Panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary."

"That's such bullshit." You whispered. Mr. Secretary turned towards you, cocking a brow. Natasha let an amused smile slip while Sam covered up his snicker with a cough.

"The Avengers were created to make the world a safer place." Steve spoke up before he could address you.

"This is the middle ground." Mr. Secretary said, walking to the front again and facing everyone.

"The Accords will be ratified in a couple days." Steve turned towards Tony, earning a silent response.

"I'll leave you to discuss."

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Leave it to Natasha to say what was on everyones' minds. Mr. Secretary paused as he approached the door.

"Then you retire." He answered plainly. You watched him leave, picking up the cup of water infront of You You went to take a sip but it turned to ice before you could drink from it. With a small huff, you placed it down.

"That's new." Natasha called with a small smile, hoping to ease the tension in the room. You stood up, leaving the meeting room and heading to the lounge. The others followed, taking more comfortable seats on the couch. A debate quickly started between Rhodes and Sam while Steve looked through the Accords.

"Have you two thought about starting a debate club?" You asked, tapping the frozen water a few times before it finally turned back to normal water. Natasha let out a small snort, chuckling as she shook her head.

"I have an equation." Vision announced, stopping Rhodes and Sam. They turned towards him.

"In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of enhanced people has grown and during the same period, the number of world ending events has risen."

"So, it's Starks' fault?" You asked, leaning back in your seat with a tilted head. Tony scoffed from his spot on the couch, rolling his eyes.

"I'm saying, there might be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge, challenge insights conflict, and conflict... Breeds catastrophe. Oversight is not an idea that should be dismissed."

"I wish I understood half of what you said." You muttered softly, running your finger the leaf of a plant beside the seat. Natasha turned towards Tony, watching him.

"You're being uncharacteristic non-hyper verbal." Natasha pointed out softly as he looked at her with a deep sigh. Steve looked up from the Accords.

"It's cause he already made up his mind." Steve said, earning a small eye roll. Tony slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his head.

"Actually, I'm nursing a headache." He muttered as he stood up, walking towards the coffee machine. He poured himself some coffee and grabbed a bottle of pills before sighing and placing down a device. He showed an image of a young man.

"Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way. A great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor level gig for the fall. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the people in Sokovia." Tony said, obviously agitated as he looked over everyone. You wondered why he now cared for the people who were injured during attacks.

"He wanted to make a difference although we'll never know cause we dropped a building on him while kicking ass." Everyone stayed silent as he spoke. You watched him take a pill, drinking it with the coffee.

"There's no decision making here. We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, we're no better than the bad guys."

"Tony, when someone dies on your watch, you don't give up." Steve closed the Accords, looking at Tony with a frown.

"Who says we're giving up?"

"We are by not taking responsibilities for our actions. This document shifts the blame." Steve voiced his opinion, shrugging lightly.

"Steve, that is dangerously arrogant." Rhodes spoke up, shaking his head. Steve turned towards him.

"This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the world security counsel, it's not S.H.I.E.L.D, it's not HYDRA-"

"But it's run by people with agendas and agendas change." Steve pointed out as you rubbed your forehead, sighing softly. Both sides had good points but you sided with Steve. The team was obviously divided.

"What do you think, (Y/N)?" Vision asked, looking at you curiously. You licked your lips, gaze focusing on Tony.

"I'm curious as to why you care so much about this Charles guy. You've had, what was it? Eight years as Iron Man to care about the people who get hurt? Why now? Cause you realized one of those people could become the new you? Would you care this much about Charles if he had been a typical guy? No degree, no plans for the future, just a normal guy working a normal 9 to 5 job and just trying to make it through the week. I agree with Steve. What if something happens and they don't send us to help because it doesn't go with their agenda? People get hurt cause you've never set up a system to help after these things happen. You're a fucking billionaire, Tony. Make a company that's designed to help people get back on their feet after the Avengers bulldoze through cities." You said, legs crossing as you looked over everyone else. Steve gave a small nod, glad you were seeing his side. He checked his phone, abruptly standing and announcing he had to leave. You and the others watched him go in confusion.

"To answer your questions, I do care about normal people." Tony said, arms crossing. You let out a soft groan, leaning back in the couch.

"I'm sorry, what are you? Twelve? Didn't you turn twenty this year?" Tony cocked a brow, watching as you rolled your eyes and stood.

"Yeah, I did turn twenty. Surprised you knew considering you've never particularly liked me."

"Well, first impressions are everything and you did try impaling me with a branch."

"Maybe I should've."

"Alright, boys, let's calm down." Natasha called, placing a hand on your shoulder. You turned and walked towards the steps, heading down to your room at the facility. You entered and plopped down on the bed, running a hand through your hair. You tapped your foot on the ground, fingers going to the root bracelets in an attempt to relax. Wanda opened the door, closing it behind her and sitting beside you.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, staring at you in concern. You weren't one to snap at others so quickly.

"There's so much going on. The Accords, my fucking powers, the sudden change in Nat and Tony, you possibly getting into trouble cause of the Lagos incident.. That could've been me." You breathed out. Wanda frowned, brows furrowing.

"No, it wouldn't have."

"I shot fire out of my hands and turned water to ice without meaning to. They're getting unpredictable." You looked at her, grip on the roots tightening. Wanda's gaze flickered to the window, making you turn. Part of the window was covered in a thin layer of ice.

"And that just proved my point."

"You're an incredible person, (N/N). Have faith in yourself. You'll gain control of them sooner or later. You have beautiful powers that could change and heal the world." Wanda pointed out gently, having you rest your head on her shoulder. She softly began to hum a lullaby. You didn't understand the words but her soft voice proved to be soothing.

"Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~~

"Why'd you call me again?" You asked, toying with the strings of your hoodie as you looked around the cafe. You had planned on taking a nap and watching a new show on Netflix but it seemed like Steve had other plans for you.

"Because I trust you and need your help." Steve replied, fixing his baseball cap as he tried avoiding eye contact with civilians.

"Really?" You asked softly. Steve nodded, offering a smile. He licked his lips, nodding to the tv. You turned, looking at the news. You really didn't have to considering what they were showing was right down the street.

"Your friend?" You looked back at Steve with a tilted head.

"We gotta find him before anyone else does." Steve said. You nodded, watching him. Steve had been desperately trying to find his friend, Bucky, since the attempt on Furys' life.

"I'll go in alone. We don't want to seem threatening or set him off by going in as a trio."

"(Y/N)? Being threatening? He can't even scare a baby!" Sam said in amusement, shooting you a playful grin.

"Right back at you, bird boy."

"I'm sorry, who here is named after the top bird of prey?" Sam asked, leaning forward slightly as Steve let out an amused sigh.

"Oh, I didn't know you were named after eagles." You responded, smiling in triumph when Sam huffed lightly.

"Come on, you two." Steve chuckled, leaving the cafe and heading down the sidewalk.

"I don't trust Stark." You told them, arms crossing. Sam glanced at you as Steve turned into an alleyway.

"Not surprised considering the little fight you two had."

"I think he had Vis keep an eye on me and Wanda. I snuck out while he was with Wanda in the kitchen." You told him, frowning.

"Firstly, I'm an adult-"

"That's questionable."

"-And secondly, he's not my dad." You took off the hoodie as Steve unlocked a car parked in the alleyway, giving Sam the duffle bag with his outfit. You looked at your phone when it buzzed, seeing texts from Clint.

Clint

Heard you had a fight with Stark

Clint

You're officially an Avenger now

You smiled softly, chuckling softly at the texts. You waited for the guys to finish changing before taking the earpiece from Steve. The apartment building had been nearby so you and Sam headed onto the roof while Steve entered.

"How well do you think this will go?" You asked Sam, looking for any sign of law enforcement.

"Wanna bet?"

"How much?" You looked at him, giving a small grin. Sam looked up at the sky for a moment, thinking it over.

"30 bucks. I bet this will go to shit and this dude will escape."

"I bet we'll get into serious shit but this dude will either come with us or get caught." You replied. Sam stuck out his hand, nodding. You shook it, chuckling softly. You turned your head, noticing movement.

"We've got company, Cap."

"They're approaching from the south." Sam added, attention focused on them. You heard Steve begin to talk to someone, watching the cars pull in and get ready. You turned your head, hearing the door to the roof open.

"Shit." You whispered, letting Sam pick you up and lift you into the air. You could hear the fight going on inside through the earpiece.

"Should we help?" You asked, glancing up at Sam.

"No clue." Sam replied, watching Bucky jump from the apartment onto the roof of another building. You noticed someone running at a high speed, jumping up onto the roof and knocking Bucky down.

"They have cat ears." You mumbled, pushing Sam's arms away.

"Deal with them." You motioned to the German police force on the roof, hoping down onto the roof. You raised your hand, a root shooting out and grabbing the strangers arm, refraining them from clawing at Bucky. Bucky turned his head, making eye contact with you. Your eyes widened when the man grabbed the root, using what felt like super strength to toss you off the roof. You quickly used a root to grab onto the side, breathing out a sigh of relief. Sam took care of a helicopter before flying by to grab you.

"Thanks." You breathed out, holding onto him as he followed the chase. Steve, Bucky, and the cat guy went into one of the tunnels. Sam flew in once there was an opening, trying to help Steve with the cat guy. You huffed when the cat guy grabbed Sam's ankle, pointing your hand at him and shooting a strong gust of air. The cat guy lost his grip monetarily but quickly grabbed on again. Bucky threw up an explosive so Sam quickly stopped, flinging the guy off him. Sam landed, walking past the rubble. You sighed, raising your hands as you and Sam were quickly surrounded by cops.

"Mom's gonna kill me." You whispered.

"That's what you're concerned about?" Sam asked, glancing at you in disbelief.

"We're getting arrested, (Y/N)!"

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heybeybey · 4 years ago

Text

and it was your heart on the line

Rating: Explicit

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Word Count: 8,706

Summary: Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum. Pressured to continue the Ackerman line, Levi is forced to choose between his commitment to giving meaning to his comrades' deaths or sacrificing the future of the woman who have always been devoted to him.

(Anon Ask | AO3 Link)

(It's also Smutty Saturday so here, have smut + ANGST. MOSTLY ANGST THO)

It's been a month since he learned about his true relation to Kenny.

Two weeks since he, Hange and Erwin traced his Ackerman ancestry.

A week since they found out what his last name means and how inhuman his strength truly is.

And two days since he received that fucking memo.

Captain Levi Ackerman,

We were recently made aware of the extent of your capabilities. After much discussion in the court, we believe that you will be doing humanity a great service by continuing the Ackerman line.

We look forward to your cooperation.

A great service his ass.

A few days ago, he, Erwin and Hange found out that the Ackerman line used to be the bodyguards of the royal family in the past and that the reason why they were so skilled is because they are titans in human form. They were then persecuted for shit knows what and the whole clan scattered throughout the walls in the past hundred years.

It also turns out that this ability is accessible to all Ackermans. They haven't found out if it's automatically passed down but Levi noted that there was a time when he felt something jolt in him when faced in a life or death situation (which was almost a daily basis for him back in the Underground).

Now, they want to reinstate the line to help the military progress.

The way Levi sees it, the government basically wants him to breed as if he's a cow in a nobleman's farm.

Levi ignores the memo for the next few days and when they sent a follow up for his reply, he didn't hesitate in telling them to fuck off. That's when things went south.

Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum.

They argued that the captain's citizenship above ground is tethered to his role in the Scouts. Denying this request would be taken as an act of insubordination, no matter how much Erwin forgives the said "offense". Moreover, it's an insult to the crown.

The greedy fucks from the top brass gave him two weeks or he'll be kicked back down to the Underground. Since he's the only known Ackerman, he can't push this responsibility on someone else's plate.

- - -

Only his Special Operations team were made aware of the situation. Erwin said that his squad deserves to know why their captain might be out of commission for at least a week... or why he'd possibly be kicked out of the scouts soon.

Levi silently took in the horror on their faces when he broke the news.

"Captain, are they even allowed to do that?"

"That's just... sick."

"Maybe there's a way to delay it for a few more years, sir?"

The only one who didn't speak up was Petra. She just watched the four men converse, with Levi and Eld discussing what the next steps are in case the captain will be leaving the scouts.

The thought leaves a bitter taste in all of their mouths. Survey Corps without Captain Levi? They can only see their success rates getting knocked down further. At the same time, they also don't know which decision to support, knowing that the captain will be sacrificing himself either way.

- - -

Petra has been spacing out since that day. Sometimes, her squad needed to snap her out of it during trainings. She'd been a total recluse, rarely joining them at the dining table during their morning coffee. She'd still bring the captain's tea late at night but other than that, she looks more like a ghost floating around in their squad's side of the floor. They think it's heartbreak since her admiration for the captain is already an open secret between the five of them. No one would've even imagined what she was planning.

She was able to snap herself out of it two days after, and now she's barging into Commander Erwin's office during lunch time.

"Commander Erwin, there must be another way," Petra pleads. She rarely goes to Erwin's office alone and if she's here right now, the captain must've not been aware that his subordinate would approach this topic straight with the commander.

Erwin sighs. "Ms. Ral, I appreciate your concern for the captain. Believe me, I've personally reached out to Zackley regarding this. There's nothing much I can do. I've already swayed Levi's citizenship to our favor once."

It also doesn't help that the government sees the Scouts as the most useless of all three military branches. Learning about how powerful Levi truly is was the only thing that reignited their belief in their regiment after five consecutive failed expeditions and thousands of coins wasted.

The commander looks at Petra and he can tell from her face that the gears are turning in her head. He frowns, having an inkling of what her next words will be. Erwin knows how loyal Petra is to her captain. It's something that the commander himself leveraged and exploited during expeditions.

"Would... if I do it, will that...?"

Erwin's face softens, meeting her eyes in concern. If they were to ask for his opinion as commander, it would be a waste if they allow Petra to take the responsibility. She's one of the best soldiers in the corps and her ability to sync with any team they place her in was an asset that you wouldn't find in any other soldier.

But as Levi's friend, he'd rather not order the captain around when it comes to this matter. The part of him who's committed to humanity's survival knows what the right answer is to Levi's situation, and he knows the captain will choose what will always be best for his soldiers.

"Petra, you know that Levi wouldn't allow it."

"But does it even matter what we think anymore? Commander, they're going to take the captain away from us."

Erwin is quiet for a moment, careful eyes assessing how serious Petra truly is. "Are you sure about this Petra?"

"You know I'll do anything for our cause." Adamant and unwavering. Levi chose well.

Erwin nods. "I'll talk to Zackley what it will mean if the captain chooses a subordinate instead of a commoner. Normally, sleeping with your commanding officer would lead to a dishonourable discharge."

Petra flinches at that.

"But... we can all agree that this is a different case."

- - -

Petra comes to Levi that night. At first, he just assumed it's their usual evening tea time.

"I-I talked to Commander Erwin this morning," she starts, setting down his tea on the desk. He glances back at her for a moment before turning back to his paperwork.

"What about?" Levi said. "You do know that if you have a concern, you can also tell me. I'm the one responsible for you."

"It's not a concern," she replies quickly. "Well... it is but-"

Her hesitance finally stops him. "Since when have you held back whenever we have tea together, Petra?"

"Captain... I-I can..."

He doesn't turn his chair around, waiting for Petra to speak.

"I'm saying that if it will greatly serve humanity, I'm willing to have-," she gulps, pushing the fear from her face to look at him determinedly. "I'm willing to be the one to help you continue the Ackerman bloodline."

Levi's grateful his back was turned. If it wasn't, Petra would've seen how his slanted eyes widened with horror and concern at her words. He feels a headache starting to come along, and he schools his face before finally turning around, assessing hers. His heart fell when he finds that she somehow looks both determined and scared at the same time.

"No."

Petra deflates a little bit at that, seemingly both relieved and hurt from the rejection.

"Please captain, I don't want you to be forced out of the Survey Corps. The scouts need you. I-" She cuts herself off at that, but her silence was loud. He'd known for a while now the depth of Petra's devotion.

"Petra, are you even aware of what you're offering?"

"Of course I know!" She snaps, so unlike her to disrespect her captain outright. "Captain, I wouldn't have offered myself if I'm not aware of what I'll be giving up."

"Then you're fucking stupid for even wanting to go through with this. We don't even know how many they're demanding from me."

He stands up from his chair and grabs her upper arm in a bruising grip, almost desperate to get his point across. "You'll be forced to leave the Scouts, give up your career to take care of a-"

It's rare for him to be speechless, and he finds that the word baby can't even pass through his mouth these days.

"Sir, I just want to help..." Petra says quietly, gaze averted.

"This is not up for debate Petra." He looks at her coldly. "Leave."

"But captain-" He lets her arm go. Petra's expressive round eyes are starting to tear up.

"I said get out."

He watches her hurry out, trying to ignore the fact that she was furiously wiping her eyes as she leaves.

- - -

They went out for an expedition one morning and Levi was somewhat grateful for the distraction.

Reality only came crashing down on him again when he'd watched another soldier die. He seemed new and young, looking more like a cadet than an actual soldier. Probably fresh out of the training corps but died way too soon because he chose the wrong regiment. If Levi remembers correctly, this was one of the newer scouts who had the guts to approach him with bright and eager eyes and asked for advice.

"What's your name?" Levi asks the soldier. He kneels down beside the younger man.

"E-Ethan, sir," the soldier rasps. Levi silently nods in acknowledgement. He looks up, finding Petra tending to a fatally injured scout. Eld and Gunther was assisting a female veteran who lost a leg. He can't seem to find Oluo anywhere.

"C-Captain..." Ethan struggles with his words and Levi can see how his gaze is starting to lose focus.

"I'll avenge your sacrifice, Ethan." Levi says as he holds the young boy's bloody hand, hearing him take his last breath. "I promise you that."

Levi apologizes to Petra in his own way as they wrap up the expedition. He approaches her as she was about to mount her horse.

"Petra." She looks to him with teary eyes. She does this after every expedition, crying for all the fallen soldiers as her own way of commemorating their sacrifice.

"Yes, sir?" she replies in a gentle voice, as if he didn't just make her cry two nights before.

Levi hands her a white handkerchief. "Here."

She blinks up at him for a bit but accepts his offer. He never says sorry outright, but he and Petra have always had this way of communicating where words aren't needed to be said.

They were running out of time. Levi tried to take his mind off the problem by training until his own body gives up on him. A huge part of him have already accepted that he'll be marched back down to that shithole by the end of the week.

Hell, he already packed up the limited possessions that he has.

"Levi, you know this is for the scouts. Losing you would mean losing a battalion for the Survey Corps," Erwin argued.

"Are you asking me to force a woman to become the government's baby making machine?" Levi snaps. "Because that's sick as fuck Erwin!"

Hange told him once that there was a major decrease in the scouts' death toll since he joined. Levi didn't want to believe at first that a single soldier was enough to make that much of a difference, but Hange's numbers was more than enough proof. Since he joined, they didn't need to send 10 men on a dangerous mission when a single soldier can do all the dirty work and still live.

Erwin pointed out that many would jump at the opportunity to lie with humanity's strongest. Levi just wanted to vomit at the title.

How can something that used to boost his soldiers' morale now turn into a fucked up ultimatum that preyed on his commitment to making his comrades' deaths matter?

He supposes that there are other women. He can even just detach himself from the whole situation after the woman gets pregnant and let her raise the kid.

But Levi has an intimate relationship with abandonment. Of being used and treated as nothing more than just a tool. It was all he knew growing up with gangs in the underground, and eventually in the corps as comrades die and his strength used to the regiment's advantage.

He's not that big of a piece of shit as to use someone and leave a child fatherless until they come of age to become a soldier. If he was going to have a kid, he'd make sure that they at least have a good childhood to compensate for all the shit they'd be pressured in. He'd want to be there every time he leaves the walls—not as a captain commanding his soldier but as a father ensuring his child's safety.

Levi also feels sick at the thought of just bedding anyone. Whenever he thinks of this option, his mind would take him back to a dark closet, deep in the underground, where he'd hide as his mother takes on another client. He'd be no better than the men who he watched come and go from his mother's room in the brothel, leaving her crying and filthy once they're done. It feels as if he'd be disrespecting her memory this way. Spitting on his mother's grave would've been more respectful than this.

The only other option is to drag the woman he'd been secretly throwing longing looks at, so willing and devoted, down with him.

- - -

The night before the government will come knocking on their doors, Petra came to his office again.

"You're up for promotion." This was his last resort.

If she accepts, then he'll be leaving tomorrow for the underground. He doesn't really know which outcome to hope for.

Levi doesn't give her the chance to reply, silently handing her a folder. He wants her to understand the gravity of this situation. Of how much of a double-edged sword her devotion truly is.

"I've already signed it and Erwin's just waiting for you to accept before he approves. We'll be raising your rank, complete with a 25% salary increase. You're still in the Special Ops, but now with the opportunity to command your own team outside of our missions, or whenever Erwin and I see it fit during an expedition. This is a step closer to fully becoming a squad leader two or three years from now."

Petra sighs and shakes her head at that. She didn't even hesitate as she takes away the folder from his hand and sets it down on his office table.

"Please, Captain." Petra pleads, hand moving to delicately hold his. "The scouts need you."

The face of the soldier who died yesterday, (Ethan, he corrects himself) flashes on his mind. Levi's promise to the young man rings phantomly in his ears.

I'll avenge your sacrifice, I promise you that.

Levi surrenders.

- - -

"Captain?" Petra removed the last button of her uniform, her eyes on the floor, leaving her in only her cotton underwear. He watches her while he sits on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in her every move as she shrugs off all her clothing.

"Call me Levi," he corrects her. "Please."

"Levi..." She closes the gap between them, climbing on the bed and reaching out a hand to cup his face to help him relax. Petra gives him a shy smile when he leans closer to her touch, while he settles a hand at the small of her back. She leans forward, kissing his jaw and sliding her hand down to his chest to feel the quick drum of his heartbeat. "It's okay, Levi. I trust you."

Petra settles herself on his lap and gently turns his face up to hers, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. His hands trail up her upper arms and she involuntarily shivered when he cups her cheeks to deepen the kiss. Emboldened by how receptive she is of his touch, Levi trails his mouth from her lips to her cheek, gradually making his way down to her neck.

Petra's eyes are closed, biting on her lower lip. She tangles a hand against his hair to pull him closer, encouraging him further. He feels himself getting hard fast when she aligns the heat of her core against his.

"Do you want me to turn off the lights?" She asks, testing the waters by grinding down on him. He shakes his head no, tucking a ginger strand of hair behind her ear. The last thing he needs is to feel like this is a casual romp with a stranger. He wants to know it's her.

He runs his hands against her bare thighs before twisting their bodies around so she'd end up laying back on his bed. She gave a quiet huff at the impact, but Levi was quick to lean down and kiss her intensely. He fears he might come faster than they need him to if she continues bucking against him and they need to pace themselves.

Levi plans to worship Petra tonight, because she deserves nothing less. He looks down at her and meets her eyes for a bit before he's trailing down kisses throughout her body. When he's closer to her chest area, Petra removes her bra off for him and his throat goes dry at the sight. She looks up at Levi with half-lidded eyes, guiding his hands to knead her breasts. The captain doesn't waste time, groping then leaning down to swirl his tongue over a nipple before tending to the other.

Petra whimpers with his every touch. When he makes a bold move to slip his hand down her panties, that's when she gives a low moan.

"Is this okay?" he asks quietly and Petra nods. He starts to massage her clit, feeling her core starting to dampen as his strokes become more intentional.

He soon replaces his fingers with this tongue, earning him a keening sound from the woman below him. Levi only pulls away when he's satisfied at how much of a dazed mess Petra is, hands gripping his black hair to stabilize herself. He levels himself again with her and Petra latches her mouth against him, once again grinding her naked pussy against his cock, still clothed in his pants.

They've both lost the initial shyness and hesitation from earlier on, now both driven by their eagerness to push their pleasure further. He's hard by this point, feeling the dampness and heat between her thighs through his clothed lower regions. Petra continues to grind herself against him and Levi gets harder at the thought of how she's fully naked and vulnerable below him. She desperately bucks up against his hips, delicate but scarred hands reaching down to finally start unbuckling his pants.

He allows her to shrug off his pants while he removes his white undershirt, towering over her. Petra watches him take off his top with a primal look in her eyes, sitting up and reaching out to pass her hands against the lines of his firm abdomen. Her eyes flares up at the sight of his cock, hand reaching out to touch before Levi grabs her wrist.

"I won't be able to last long if you do that." He says. Petra understands, opening her legs further instead to allow him in.

He positions himself between her thighs and looks at her one last time, making sure there's no doubt on her face. Petra, being the fucking amazing woman that she is, only nods at him with a small reassuring smile.

Levi grunts at how deliciously tight she is when he finally enters her, while Petra's arms found its way around his back to cling to him. It proves to be a struggle because her wet walls squeezes around him and he finds it hard to pull his head out of the pleasurable haze. He tries to pace himself, giving them both enough time to adjust to the feeling. When he feels Petra's hips slightly bucking up as if to egg him on, that's when he starts to move.

It was heaven and hell at the same time. For a second or two, he'd like to believe that this is a moment built on months of romancing and awkward dates. He lets his mind wander away from what it actually is—a task, a burden placed on his shoulders for an ability he never even asked for. And he dragged the bravest and most capable woman he knows down with him, willing as she may be.

"Harder, Levi," she breathes out on his ear, snapping his head from spiralling down in self-hatred at their situation.

Levi gives into her wishes, bracing himself by leaning down and pulling her hips closer. He starts to work towards an almost bruising pace, wanting to find a good balance between pleasure and pain for her. Her arms are encircled around him, hands running up and down the hard muscles on his back. Levi looks at the way Petra's breasts bounce with every snap of his hips, mesmerized. Her mouth was open in an o-shape, eyes unfocused as she surrenders to the heat of the moment, cheeks flushed, nipples continuously grazing against his chest with every thrust.

"Yes yes yes," she breathlessly chants. "Fuck me, Levi."

He'd dreamed of Petra like this in the past. But as her commanding officer, all he could really do is lock away those depraved thoughts and quietly steam in lust over his ginger subordinate. Being with her right now couldn't even compare to the nights he jacked off to the thought of her.

He can already tell that Petra's close with the way she's clenching him. Her pants are more desperate now and she bites on his shoulder blade as she reaches her own climax, and he eventually feels her hold on him slacken. Tired and pleased, Petra allows her head to fall back on the pillow and takes in his face to watch the emotions passing through his face.

The feel of her wet core clenching around him was more than enough to edge him closer towards his limit. The rhythm of his thrusts starts to stutter, his primal need to reach release urging him forward.

Petra starts moaning again, turned on at his uncontrollable lust. He waits until she eventually comes again, watching her fall tiredly on the bed, before allowing himself to let go.

One thrust, two, and then they tip past the point of no return. Petra makes a low noise once he comes inside her, her hips rising to meet his final thrust. Lost in pleasure, Levi had to grip hard on the bed frame above her to compose himself. Petra holds his gaze—a mix of adoration and desperation—through it all.

They both pant from the thrill of their coupling and Levi finally collapses on Petra. She pulls him close, allowing him to lay his head on her chest.

He didn't even know when he started crying. He only realized it when he felt Petra brushing away the tears silently running down his cheek with her thumb.

What kind of lowlife am I? Here he is, crying like a little shit when he was the one who'll be subjecting her to whatever hell that awaits them in the next few months. Female soldiers are normally allowed maternity leave but since his case is different, the higher ups demanded that at least one parent will see through the child's growth.

Everyone assumes that it wouldn't be the captain.

He didn't have to sacrifice his career and position. He doesn't need to sit around and nurture a living being inside him for almost a year. Petra will be the one who'll be taking the bulk of it all.

You're fucking selfish. You're a coward.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly against her skin. He stays where he is, head laid on top of her bare chest and listening to the thump of her heart. Petra was just quiet for awhile, gently running her fingers through his jet-black hair as she stares up at the window and at the night sky.

"Levi... remember when you told us before to choose the choice that we'll regret the least?"

He doesn't answer back, not really knowing what to say at her hushed question.

"I chose this," Petra continues. "Because you going back to the Underground is the consequence that would kill me the most."

She gently tilts his head up so he can meet her eyes, her hand shaking from the barrage of emotion. Petra looks at his face, awe and adoration shining in her amber eyes as she traces a finger against the frown lines between his brows.

"You're a great man, Captain. I've never met someone who cares so much for his soldiers' lives more than you do." Petra continues. "I truly believe that you'll be the one who'll lead us outside these walls."

"I don't deserve you Petra."

She smiles sadly at that. "You have me either way, Levi. I'm here to stay."

- - -

The next nine months were... Well, they didn't even know how to describe it.

They decided to reveal it to their team on the first month of her pregnancy. That led to Eld's fist colliding with Levi's face. The biggest surprise was that the captain allowed his second-in-command to disrespect him in such a way.

"Eld, no!" Petra screamed.

"Captain, you told me before that you recruited Petra for her skills," Eld said. "I didn't know you'd be the type to take advantage of young girls!"

Levi understood where the younger man was coming from, knowing how Eld and Gunther treated Petra like a little sister. Oluo, on the other hand, just watched the exchange with a crestfallen look.

The guys only believed that Levi didn't force her into anything when they saw how Petra fretted over the captain's bruised face the whole afternoon. She'd constantly throw them a glare as she cups an ice pack on Levi's jaw and would constantly follow him around to make sure that he won't get attacked by the three guys. Not that they would even have the guts to attempt it, nor would the captain let it pass the second time around.

Frankly, Levi's grateful that he has a team who looks out for each other, even when they're not beyond the walls. That's one of the reasons why he trusts them. He doesn't know where he stands now as their captain and he knows these turn of events will greatly shift or even damage their squad's dynamics.

As the month comes to a close and with another mission beyond the walls in the works, Erwin pulled Petra out of all expeditions, much to the surprise of the other Scouts. Her role for the next three months were mostly to brief new recruits along with some clerical work before she closes this chapter of her life.

- - -

On the second month, they traveled to Karanese district to finally tell Petra's father. Levi had never met the man before, and the captain was quiet the whole way to her home town. If Petra didn't know better, she'd think that Levi's nervous.

The truth is that all he feels is guilt.

He knocked up the man's daughter and he was her commanding officer. What's worse is that they didn't do it because they were so hopelessly in love. Come to think of it, it would've been better if they chalked it up to them not being able to keep their hands off each other.

He'd be lucky if Petra's father doesn't assume that Levi just turned his daughter into a breeding stock.

"Petra!" The older man greets them. "Captain Levi, it's so nice to finally meet you. Petra told me a lot about you in her letters."

Levi takes a few moments to revel in the warm welcome, thinking that this day would probably end up in more heartbreak because of him.

"Mr. Ral." He accepts the man's handshake.

"Please, come in! I've prepared enough for the three of us. You're not allergic to anything, right captain?"

None of them mentioned just yet what they were there for and Levi was content just to hear Petra chatting excitedly with her father. Mr. Ral seems like a friendly man, and it's no wonder he ended up having a daughter who's such a sweetheart. The atmosphere in the room was light as father and daughter caught up on each other's lives.

Until Petra has to run to the bathroom to vomit.

He saw the rising concern on her father's face as they listen to Petra retching in the bathroom, and that whole five minutes of waiting for her to come back was absolute torture. Levi, for all his bravery when fighting titans, couldn't even meet the older man's eyes.

"Captain Levi, why are you really here?" Mr. Ral cautiously asks him.

The older man's face cracks when he finally learned the true nature of Petra's pregnancy. He couldn't look at Levi after that.

"Captain, I think you should leave." Mr. Ral says, voice cold that he couldn't believe that the warm welcome he received earlier on came from the same man. Levi didn't need to be told twice.

"Dad..."

Levi sighs as he stands up. "Thank you for the food, Mr. Ral."

"Dad, it's not his fault." Petra tries again as Levi moves to the door. "It's my decision. You know how Captain Levi is important to the Survey Corps."

"But why you, Petra?" Mr. Ral snaps. "You know, I was concerned when you told me that you were the only girl in his squad."

"Please, stop." Petra sobs.

"If I'd only known that I really did have a reason to be worried, I would've demanded you to come home."

Levi silently listens to the whole exchange from outside of the room, eyes downcast.

- - -

Petra signed her retirement on the third month. High from the mood swings brought on by the pregnancy, she cried and even hugged the commander. Erwin just awkwardly patted her head and told Petra that it might be best to let go now before Levi slices his hand off.

She also went to Mitras this month, meeting the people who forced Levi into this situation for the first time. Petra was shaking in anger as she walked inside the room, throwing the officials the dirtiest glare she could manage.

Petra didn't even bother to be respectful that whole afternoon as they brief her on what they expect from her, and what can or cannot be public information.

"I used to hope that the child won't inherit your glare but now I'm more scared to imagine if they got Ms. Ral's," Erwin whispered to Levi, watching as Petra backtalks another official.

Levi shrugs. "You haven't seen her when she gets too competitive during trainings."

On the same month, they ended up sleeping together without the goal of furthering the Ackerman bloodline.

They haven't touched each other since the doctor confirmed that Petra's already pregnant. Her every test was recorded and reported to the fuckers back at Mitras and that thought alone was enough to squeeze out the arousal in Levi's body.

Somehow, they found themselves making out in his office on this night.

"Why didn't we do this during our evening tea before?" Levi asked against her neck, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can reach.

Petra laughs, elongating her neck further to give him access. "Gee, captain. I didn't know you wanted to be court-martialled so bad."

She's currently in civilian clothing since her last day with the scouts was yesterday. Her dress was easier to access and he'd long since unbuttoned the first few buttons that covered her breasts.

Fuck it, he thought as he moves away from his office chair and settles more comfortably on the couch, with Petra on his lap. He looks up at her, eyes alight in lust as he takes in her breasts spilling out of her dress, chest heaving and orange hair dishevelled. He hurriedly tries to unzip out of his own clothing, eagerly kissing her as she slides down his cock.

After a whole week of sex a few months ago, Levi thought he's already used to the feel of Petra around him. Egged on by their own baser instincts despite the situation, they fucked every chance they can get and it was the closest Levi had to a break. It would've been a blissful escapade if he didn't know any better, and the guilt would eat him raw every time he ejaculates inside her.

But for some reason, sex with her right now feels different. Still heated and pleasurable, because of course— it's Petra, but something has shifted between them. He feels lighter, freer.

He's careful as he bounces Petra above him, but still careful not to hurt her. Levi worships every part of her that he could reach without breaking away from the pace that they'd set, while Petra pulls against his hair and leaves her own marks on his chiseled skin.

It's the first time they had slept together without feeling as if someone's keeping a close eye on them.

This moment together is theirs.

- - -

They feel the baby move on the fourth month of her pregnancy.

Levi was the one who first felt it when he was laying his head on her lap. He was quietly reading a report while Petra was knitting a few socks when he felt a poke on the side of his head that was cozied up to her belly.

"Okay, stop it woman!" He scolds and sits up, thinking that she was messing with him. Levi pauses when he sees that Petra is tearing up.

"He kicked."

"What?"

"The baby." Levi's face slackens at that, eyes wide with wonder dropping to her tummy. She runs both hands over the skin, stops and smiles, before taking his wrist to place his own hand on one spot.

Sure enough, Levi did feel that faint poke. He lifts his other hand so he can place both on her belly. Emotion overwhelms him and he swallowed to keep himself at bay.

"Hey, kid."

On the fifth month, Levi was able to strong-arm the higher-ups to give him a goddamn house. Petra knows that this thought would continue to amuse her for years.

From what she heard from Erwin, Levi demanded that the child needs a nice place to grow up in. Since his salary wasn't worth shit despite his high rank in the scouts, it still would take him a long time to make a downpayment.

They approved the request and they moved in a few days shy of her sixth month. It was a simple house, complete with two floors and three bedrooms. One room in the first floor while another two above. Petra suggested that maybe the third bedroom can be his office but he refused.

"You're thinking of opening a pastry shop once the kid's here, right? You can use that space."

"Hmm... but that will still take some time." Petra answers, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "Maybe we can use it to store all your brooms and cleaning solutions instead."

They once talked about what Petra plans to do once the child is born. Of course, most of her hours will be spent taking care of the baby but knowing Petra, she's not the type who'd sit around and rely on him for the rest of her life. They're still not sure if she'll be able to rejoin the scouts years from now, even when Levi tried telling her that maybe he can find a way to work around it the top brass' shitty conditions. They decided instead to focus more on what they can control now, and he suggested that he was able to save enough that they can use that as a capital for whatever she wanted to do.

As they were fixing their new house, Petra was also surprised that he was setting up his side on the master's bedroom.

Petra wanted to sleep beside him every night, of course. They've already been doing so since that first time they had sex after her pregnancy was confirmed. But Petra thought that it's just going to be her who will move in because the house was a good two hours away from the barracks, making it a hassle for Levi to go back and forth everyday. Petra tells him that she'd be alright with him only coming home for the weekends if it will save him a 4-hour commute every single day.

Levi brushed off her concerns and proceeded to set up the nursery room instead.

"Will a baby really give a fuck about all these colors?" He crudely asks, looking at all the paint palettes in his hand.

- - -

The sixth month was slightly harder. Petra thinks that it may be because the reality that she's now out of the Survey Corps, the one thing that gave meaning to her life for four years, is settling in on her.

Her closest friends in the scouts would visit her a few times every month. Hange's squad, sometimes accompanied by Nanaba, would drop by and Levi had to control Hange from turning Petra and his child into one of their experiments.

"Aww, Levi. I'm just trying to be a good aunt!"

"By trying to feed Petra one of your shitty concoctions?" He snaps back, taking the bottle with the godforsaken liquid as far away as he can from the mother of his child. Petra has to stop Levi from completely banning Hange from their home after that.

Eld, Oluo and Gunther visit her as much as they can.

"Wow, you look like a ball." Oluo blurts out when he sees Petra, earning him a slap at the back of his head from Gunther.

"Bozado, this is the reason why you still don't have a girlfriend." Eld said, smirking. "The captain has shittier social skills than you and he's now going to be a father. Up your game a bit."

Gunther grunts at Eld's quip, knowing that Oluo would take that differently. "Way to go Eld. As if the cravat's not worse enough."

Their visits make Petra feel as if it's just another morning in the barracks, except she now has a round belly. Gunther always asks about how she's feeling while Oluo would brag that he'd be the greatest uncle the kid will ever have. Eld indulges her in her cravings and always brings a basket of strawberries whenever the three of them visit.

She also learned that Levi never chose another scout to take over her place.

"Captain said that it doesn't really make a difference if he adds another member," Gunther informs Petra. "He screened a few. All of them ran away crying."

Oluo chuckles. "Remember when he screamed at them that they're all useless and would be good as titan shit on the next expedition?"

"Please, we all know he's just comparing all of them to Petra. Man's way too in love with you, Pet." Eld replies and Petra blushes.

"If you're done gossiping about me, you're all free to get your asses out here. It's late." Levi suddenly pipes up from the door. The three men shuts up, salutes and scrambles out after saying their goodbyes to Petra, along with promises to visit whenever they can.

"Welcome back," Petra greets, kissing him on the cheek.

"Did any of them give you trouble?"

"If anything, Oluo will give you more trouble." Petra giggles, having had a conversation with Levi about Oluo's tendency to imitate the captain. "He saw your parenting books by the way. I think he's setting up a budget so he can buy himself some."

Levi groans at that.

Through the months, she'd learned that bright little Nifa was recently selected to be transferred to Hange's team. Nanaba would share stories about her promotion to being second-in-command in Squad Mike. Oluo recently got a pay raise and he enthusiastically boasts that he more than deserved it, but Petra knows he's just overjoyed that it will now be enough to send his younger brother to university. Stories that are worth celebrating and Petra was all too eager to celebrate with all of them.

But when she's alone, she'd sometimes feel that time had stopped for her. She'd realize that this isn't just a simple pregnancy and she's not just on a maternity leave. At times when she really is down in the dumps, she'd bitterly question if the living being inside of her truly is worth calling a bundle of joy.

She'd shake that thought away as fast as it came, of course. She rubs circles around her rounded tummy as if to say a silent sorry to her child for even thinking of such a thing. Petra loves her and Levi's baby with all her heart. She doesn't regret any of it because this baby symbolises that Levi would continue making a difference in the scouts.

Still though, there were moments when Levi would come home and find her asleep with tear tracks on her face, hands clenching on her old green scout uniform.

- - -

She was seven months along when he first admitted that he's in love with her.

Well, he didn't admit it directly.

For someone who can easily throw an insult, Levi's shit at words. He made his love known and he didn't even say it to her.

He said it to her belly instead, and Petra almost died at how adorable it all is.

"Your mom's a handful, you know?" was the first thing Petra heard when consciousness starts to return back to her. Sometimes she'd fall asleep in the early evenings just before Levi comes back home. He'd let himself in on most days so that he won't disturb her slumber.

Hearing Levi talk to the baby wasn't something new for Petra. He started addressing her belly since the first time he felt the kid kick. Sometimes, he'd have (one-sided) conversations with her belly as if Petra wasn't even there. Hell, he was even more talkative to the unborn baby than when he's planning an expedition with their squad.

This was one of those moments.

Petra was about to pipe up and greet him a welcome back when he continued.

"If she wasn't the most reckless and beautiful woman I've ever met, I wouldn't have put up with all that shit she'd pulled." Petra's heart flutters. Levi rarely uses words of affection as his love language. He'd always made his feelings known through late night runs to resupply their strawberries just because she was craving them, or by offering to massage her swollen feet for someone who's a real clean freak.

"Don't tell your mom that I cursed." Levi continues as he settles down on the bed to rub her belly. "She'd have my head."

Levi must've been really tired if he didn't notice that she's already awake. He did mention this morning that Erwin was forcing him to catch up on a lot of paperwork the whole day. Still, Petra kept her eyes closed, wanting to hear what he says next.

"Did you know that there was this time when she broke formation to save a horse from being stepped on by a titan?" Levi said before murmuring to her belly: "I can't believe I'm in love with someone that crazy."

- - -

On the eight month, he proposed to her.

"Levi, you don't have to." She tells him, trying to stop the smile from beaming on her face. Her hand subconsciously goes to her round tummy, as if to share to the little one how his daddy can be so silly sometimes.

"Tch. What makes you think I 'have' to?" Levi says. "I want to. Now, tell me that at least you liked the ring because that cost me three years' worth of budget for our cleaning supplies."

He said it so nonchalantly but Petra can always tell whenever Levi is nervous deep down. She recently learned the truth about his past and she knows that the thought of a child of his being a bastard, the same way that he is, didn't sit right with him.

Petra gives him a peck on the cheek and presented her hand so that he can slide it on her ring finger.

"I love it."

- - -

On her ninth month, Levi requested a paternity leave the week she's due to give birth. It always amazes Petra how someone who seemed so cold can be such a great father before the child was even born.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "You won't get behind on work right? You've always been horrible at keeping up with paperwork."

"Don't get too full of yourself," he scoffs. "Just because you're not helping me anymore doesn't mean I can't get them done."

"I also don't trust our neighbours enough to take you to a clean hospital," he later adds.

Petra was excited because this means she gets Levi for a whole week. The last time they got this much time together she was still in the scouts. So she took full advantage of it, demanding that he take her out on a date.

"You won't reject your wonderful, bloated wife, would you?" Petra waddles over to him, asking him with puppy dog eyes.

"God, woman. Are you serious? What if your water broke while we're having dinner?" He snaps back.

"Come onnn. I've been stuck in this house for a week now!" She pouts. "You worry too much, Levi."

"No, I'm just not as reckless as you are." He tells with a hint of fondness in his voice.

- - -

Petra gives birth to a healthy baby boy on the 9th of June, and Levi spent the whole duration of the labor pacing outside her hospital room. His passive face doesn't reveal much since he looks like he was only frowning constantly. On the inside though, he feels his heart lurch every time he hears Petra scream in pain and exertion.

He can't remember how many nurses he'd snapped at. Some of them would even hurry away when he tried approaching them to ask Petra's condition. The head nurse was adamant he stay outside though, telling him that his wife is fine.

Hours later, they finally allowed him in and a nurse handed him a bundle. At first, he was confused because all he wanted to do was rush to his wife who's currently sweaty, tired and asleep on the bed.

It only dawned onto him that what he's holding is his child.

Levi's whole body freezes, and the first thing that came to mind is Kenny.

I'm going to be a shitty father, he thinks, mind spiralling down to the many ways for things to fuck up. I'm going to end up abandoning him and he'll hate me forever.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the baby gave a gentle coo, eyes blinking open to reveal amber orbs. Levi stares down at his child and awkwardly reaches out a finger towards his face. His son immediately latches on to his skin, a tiny palm attempting to encircle around his finger, and Levi can feel a ghost of a smile forming on his face.

"Hi, brat." He sees from the corner of his eye that some of the nurses raise an eyebrow at that. He'd been talking to the kid for months now through Petra's belly and this is when he's speechless?

Petra wakes up to find her husband fighting back sleep on a chair beside her bed. His hands were wrapped protectively around what seems like a bundle of cloth and he's clutching it to his chest.

He snaps out of his drowsy state when he sees her eyes open. "You're awake."

Petra hums. "Is... is that him?"

Levi nods and Petra's eyes light up despite the exhaustion weighing them down. He moves to pass on the baby boy to her, leaving a kiss on her sweaty forehead before he sits back down on the chair. He's not surprised that Petra started tearing up.

"Oh, Levi... he's so beautiful." Petra leans down to pepper kisses on the child's sleeping face. "He looks just like you."

Levi had never felt peace like this for awhile. A sick and sad part of him feared that if he'll blink his eyes closed, all these will disappear once he opens them.

He received a congratulatory letter from Mitras that same evening, forwarded to him by Erwin.

"Who's it from?" Petra asks as she nurses their baby. She's glowing, and even though she's a sweaty mess right now, he can't help but think that this is the most beautiful state he'd seen her in.

"Nothing. Just some report from Eyebrows," Levi answers.

He threw the letter away without even reading. He'd rather not have his mood ruined right now.

- - -

"He's awake?" Levi groggily asks from their bed.

Petra nods, rocking little Theo in her arms. "I'm praying that he won't inherit his father's insomniac habits."

Levi sits up, opening his arms to quietly ask Petra to hand over the baby to him. "Go to sleep Petra. I'll take care of him."

His wife hums as her body hits the bed, cuddling closer to Levi who's currently sitting up against the bed frame. She throws an arm around his waist while he holds their 4-month-old child, attempting to rock him back to sleep. Little Theo's amber eyes just stares up at him, black hair tousled from all his fussing.

"Oi, kid. Let your mom rest." Levi pokes his button nose, earning him a cute little giggle from the baby. "I'm blaming you if she gets all grumpy on me tomorrow."

Petra lightly slaps his abdomen, a small smile on her face while her eyes remain closed.

Once his family settles down, with Petra now asleep and his son's eyes gradually getting drowsier as the minutes pass, he allows himself to drown in his thoughts. Having a son was both a joy and a sorrow at the same time.

Hange always teased him at how much of family man he's become, not expecting that a grumpy recluse like him who's willing to kick the asses of recruits would be so protective of his own little family. His motivation now during each expedition is just to come back as soon as he can to his wife and son.

He sometimes daydreams about leaving it all, packing everything up and leaving their home, his position in the scouts and finding the three of them a safe space to stay away from the military's demands and interests. Little Theo wouldn't end up getting pressured to join the Survey Corps or any other regiment once he comes of age and he and Petra can have another child or even two on their own terms.

For so long, his commitment to the scouts' cause has mostly been tied to the past, wanting to give meaning to his comrades' deaths. This is the first time he looked towards the future. For the first time, he's hopes for something—he hopes for a time when his son wouldn't even be forced to join the military, no matter how decorated the title they would give him. Now, he leaves for expeditions envisioning a future where they can go beyond these stuffy walls, where he can teach Theo how to ride a horse without the intention to prepare him for a mission. It's for a future where he'd teach his son to fight, just because the boy is curious and not because he needs to survive.

He doesn't know what little Theo's future will look like. For now, all Levi can do is protect his family.

#rivetra #rivapet #rivapeto #levi x petra #petra x levi #rivetra fanfiction #rivetra fanfic

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jaeminscoffee · 4 years ago

Text

6:45 PM

Pairing- Lee Jeno x reader.

Genre- Angst, Fluff.

Word count- 1.91k

Warning- False accusation, Jeno seems a little thick headed but he was just caught up in the heat, mention of breaking up but not really :))

Summary- Not the ideal off day with your loved ones that you were looking for.

"You need to tell me what's wrong, Jeno." you demand with a stern voice, having had enough of the way your boyfriend was acting.

Earlier today Jaemin, a good friend of yours, a best friend of Jeno's had come over, reason being missing his two best hype mates and not getting much time to spend with you after having a hectic schedule.

Jeno was fine the first two hours, interacting well, cracking stupid tacky jokes, sometimes even ganging up with Jaemin to make fun of you. But you noticed the gradual strip out of his patience, furrowing his eyebrows or gripping the pillow in a death grip. His subtle glares towards his friend was not given a blind eye, you noticed it all. Typical Jeno. He's always been a little jealous over your slightly curved affection for others.

It was only when he did something he's never done throughout the years of one, your relationship, two Jaemins friendship that had you completely shocked.

"I have nothing to tell you, Y/n" He replied with the same tone he held an hour ago after the guest left the house. You weren't going to buy his bullshit.

"You screamed at Jaemin asking him to get out. Do you still have nothing to tell me?" you ask, walking up to where he sat by the edge of the bed.

"I said i have nothing to tell you." Voice hoarse, the veins on his neck protruding prominently from how strained his jaws were. "Well you do." You spit out as soon as you stood in front of him, his gaze still fixated on the floor.

"I. Don't." he repeated the words through gritted teeth. For a normal person, he'd be extremely intimidating and would've had the other weak in their knees from how threatening he sounded. Fights are normal for any couple but the last you'd heard him use this tone was when someone tried to touch you at a club you went to for the weekend.

"Then I do. Jaemin's your best friend for god's sake! He came in here, wanting to spend some quality time with us and he was an absolute sweetheart throughout even! And what do you do? Scream at him? For what? He seemed so hurt! What must he be thinking right no-!"

"Enough!" Jeno stood up, towering over your much smaller figure with his as he narrowed his eyes down at you, nose flaring. You wouldn't be shocked if he started breathing out flames.

You jump from the sudden raise of his voice, having to crane your neck to look up at him, hands shaking the slightest from the flinch you just experienced.

"Jaemin this, Jaemin that. Who's your boyfriend, huh?" He started walking forward, almost stepping on your toes if you hadn't moved back, "Actually, he might as well be! You're always on about him and now you even want to go defend him" he poked at your right shoulder, pushing you back as you gaped at his words, completely taken aback by his assumption.

"All i wanted was one fucking day to spend with you but nope! You want your dearest Jaemin with you. All the fucking time! Do you not love me anymore, Y/n?" Jeno let out an exhale, pushing you back with a single finger still on your shoulder, making you step back, "Jen-" "No you wanted me to tell you what's wrong right? Hear me out then!"

"Is Jaemin all you think about, Y/n? Is that why you're getting so worked up over me shouting at my best friend?? Emphasize the word, my. My best friend, why is it affecting you? Huh?" He raised his voice once again, you turn your head to the side, crunching up the facials trying to make out why he's making this a big deal. It was his fault to begin with.

"You want him that much then just go to him right! Or you want both of us because i won't be shocked at that, you're a sucker for anything remotely good looking anyways you won't hesitate to run your mouth all over town-!" Jeno stopped midway to completing his sentence, now noticing your glazed eyes and the heavy puffs of air you took.

"are you done?" you ask with trembling voice, Jeno opened his mouth to speak but you held your hands up, stopping him, "If this is about Jaemin-" Jeno took in a sharp breathe, hands going from poking at your shoulder to holding your shoulder in a tight grip at the mention of his best friends name. Though the grip was bruising, you muster up all the strength you had, removing his hands from you, quickly stepping back to create some space between the two of you.

"Then he's my friend too." you step back once again as Jeno stood his ground. "But if you heard yourself and actually think of me that way. You're more than welcome to just break things off." you grab the door knob as a tear slipped out, turning away to shield the weakness from your boyfriend who's head is stuck up his butt at the moment, and dashed out the room.

"Y/n wait-" you hear him call out for you, footsteps shuffling close behind but you grabbed the car keys, wanting away from him to clear your mind the least. One of you should stay sane.

Driving away to your safe space, the old library that took a journey of around 25 minutes, which is most likely to be 'anything living and breathing'-free as not many knew of that place, which made you love it even more.

Whiffs of old bookcases are calming.

You were pleased to find out your assumptions were correct, not a single soul other than a tired out cashier who seemed long passed out, given he failed to hear the ringing of the entrance opening.

You make your way to the extreme back, not particularly wanting to read anything with your thoughts clouded, allowing yourself a seat you found at a secluded corner.

You take your phone out, that had been vibrating since you left home after Jeno's sudden outburst, ignoring them, wanting him to feel bad for what he's done throughout the day, you scroll through your phone searching for Jaemin's contact, opening up messages to type in a quick apology for your boyfriend's behavior, explaining it must've been the the fatigue that got to him, but made sure to tell him not to wave off this behavior and screw him when they meet later.

Getting a reply almost immediately, you were shocked to find out Jaemin was still as bubbly as ever, saying it's fine and that he didn't take anything to heart which just made you feel even guiltier than you already felt.

Texting back and forth, Jaemin being more than ready to keep you company after you narrated what had happened back home, cracking jokes to make you feel better when you wantedly missed out on a few parts to tell him, you jolt when you feel a hand tear you away from the screen and the table in front of you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

Warmth being familiar, you resist the urge to hug him back, not even bothering to ask him how he'd known where you'd be at as this is known to be the place you go to calm your mind, rather all those cliché places like the bridge or a cliff, or the beach, or taking a stroll in the twilight whatsoever.

"Y/n I'm so so sorry, please don't run off like that again" he spoke, Jeno mimicked your voice from before, this time quivering with guilt. "Let go, Jen" you spoke with a voice void of all emotions, tables turning as you mirrored his voice from the time of the argument.

"No, I won't, I'm so sorry, I meant nothing of what I said! Trust me, I was just being unreasonable and petty, i would never want to let go of you. I'd be an idiot if i did so" he spoke against your hair, grip around you tight, yet delicate, soft enough for you to step out if you'd wished.

"Yes you were." you reply, slowly raising your hands to feather over his elbows as he pressed you further against his chest, "I know. I'm really sorry, love. I was just jealous is all. And it had been a rough week at work and all that got to me but trust me when I say I'll do anything to repent just, please don't let my words get to you" he caressed your back.

"Those were all words of spiked up anger, and i really want to throw myself off a cliff, I'm really sorry, i am" he pulled away enough to place a peck on your forehead.

"you'll do anything?" you repeat his words for confirmation, finally allowing yourself to throw your hands around his torso. You look up at him, seeing a faint crimson at the white of his eye, the hue being really pale that you'd not make out if you stood a couple yards away. He must've shed some tears, just like you.

"Anything." with a nod, he hesitantly placed a delicate kiss on your lips, scared you'd shatter if he'd pressed any harder.

"house chores for a week." you narrow your eyes at him, not wanting to drag the fight for long as it'd only take a negative toll on your relationship.

"Okay!" Jeno's face evidently lightened up, quick to think he's forgiven, "thank you for forgivin-"

"Don't be so sure on that, boy. You still have one thing left to do until I completely forgive you" you step back, turning to walk back towards the exit, fishing for the car keys from the back pocket of your jean, turning around and throwing the keys at him swiftly, his reflexes allow him to catch it.

"You're driving to Jaemin's house and begging for an apology, right now." it was only the right thing to do even after the lad insisting on not being hurt. Jeno is his best friend, it's always sucky when you have your friend mad at you without knowing what you did. Worse if you didn't actually do anything.

"You have it." Jeno exclaimed, walking towards you as the two of you made your way to the exit. "you're doing it the way i want you to, though", you turn your body towards him after both of you stood by the door of the passengers side.

"And how do you want me to do it?" He inquired, leaning against the car. "First tell him exactly what you said to me" Jeno nodded, agreeing to do that, "Then give him a tight hug and repeat sorry until he swats you away" he contemplated for a moment, but eventually ended up agreeing to it too. "And then.. Give him a kiss on the cheek." Your boyfriend let out a sound of protest, leaning back further onto the surface.

"Do i really have to??" he asked, whining.

"Yes."

"Like, really? really?"

"Mhm"

"for real? Real? Is it that important?" you let out a sigh at his constant poking at your side as he pushed further with the question.

"Do you want me to forgive you or not?" you ask, voice demanding, a hint of teasing evident. "Yes!" he was fast to reply.

"Then give him a kiss. "

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silverhandjoytoys · 4 years ago

Text

I got you, V.

Those words ricocheted off the walls of her mind, steadily growing louder with each passing second.

Told you that was a bad idea, but you just don't fuckin' listen.

Even when V was drifting somewhere between life and death, she could still hear the voice of the asshole rocker boy that lived in her.

The glitching was worse than it had ever been, making her feel as if her head was going to explode. She wasn't ready to die, but it seemed to be a foregone conclusion. It didn't matter how deep they went into finding a way to stop it, they were still so far away from a solution.

Come on, V, fight it.

Her eyes fluttered open sometime later. The smell of cigarettes and a dingy motel room filled her nostrils.

"Wha- fuck… Johnny?" She said, willing herself to sit up.

"Stay down, V. Need to take it easy." He appeared next to her, crouching next to the bed.

"What... where-" the room was blurred, objects barely formed as she tried to focus.

The only thing she could see clearly was Johnny. A hint of concern etched across his face, but she assumed it was just her vision.

"Brought you to a safe place. Those fucks won't find us here." Johnny said, answering a question she felt like she asked hours ago.

"Where... is here?" She struggled to return to full consciousness, head buzzing and vision distorting.

"Motel outside of the city. Stayed here a long time ago," he answered.

"This a they don't care if you vomit on the carpet kinda place?"

"Can't smell the aroma of vomit's past?" He asked with a little smirk.

V tried to laugh but she was hit with a shit storm of nausea and couldn't hold it back. She leaned over the edge of the bed and emptied the contents of her stomach at Johnny's feet.

"Barely missed me." He moved back.

V rolled back on the bed, feeling slightly better, "did you- how did you get me here?"

"Had to take your body over for a while. Only choice I had to keep you alive," he explained, stepping around her vomit to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Surprised I'm still alive after what you did the first time you were in control," she smirked and propped herself up against the headboard.

"Wasn't about to leave you in a pool of your own fluids." He kept his gaze on her.

V felt like she'd been hit by a truck, "thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you riding shotgun." She smiled slightly, trying to ignore the buzzing in her head.

"Guess there are some benefits to sharing the same body." He pulled a cigarette out and lit it.

There was something oddly comforting about it. Like a certain amount of stability had returned just from seeing him smoke. Normalcy in the midst of chaos.

"You ever wish you'd gotten stuck with someone else?" V asked.

"Someone with a dick maybe." He passed the cigarette to V.

"I can only imagine the chaos you'd cause if you had full access to someone's dick." She took the cigarette from his fingers.

Normally she wasn't one for smoking, but it was becoming a habit after a black out.

"You have terrible taste in sex partners," he chided.

"Still won't let the whole River thing go, huh?" V grinned and passed the cigarette back as she blew out a stream of smoke.

"A cop, V. You made me fuck a cop."

"Oh, then I can only assume you came too? Does that mean... you enjoyed it?" She grinned.

"Fuck you." Johnny shook his head and plucked the cigarette from her fingers.

"Had to feel good since you're feeling everything same as me. River is a God with his tongue." V pulled her knees up to her chest and watched Johnny take a long drag of the cigarette.

"Can we at least talk about future fucking? I should have a say," he said after a long silence.

"Okay, who did you have in mind?" V was curious if this was something he'd put actual thought into.

"Anyone with tits and a pussy." He said.

"That narrows it down a bit. I'm all for fucking chicks, but can we be a little more... selective?"

"Selective? The fuck does that mean?" Johnny furrowed his brow.

"No back alley hookers for one." V explained.

"Joytoys need attention too, V."

"Wait, so you'll bitch about flirting with Judy, but you're okay with back alley hookers?" She asked.

"Don't get me started on Judy," he warned, passing her the cigarette.

"Sound a little jealous there, Silverhand."

"Never been jealous before, ain't about to start." He shook his head.

V grinned and scooted closer, placing her hand on his shoulder, "don't deny it, you get all grumpy when Judy's around."

"Don't get grumpy either." He shrugged her hand off his shoulder.

V burst out laughing, even though it hurt to do so. "When are you not grumpy?"

"All the time, just said it," he replied without hesitation.

"Liar," V said, feeling his side for another cigarette.

"Told ya smoking is bad. No more," he grumbled, pushing her hand away.

"Seriously? Your first words when you crawled out of my psyche were where are my smokes." V reached for him again.

"No more. Need to keep your health up, what's left of it." He grabbed her wrist.

"Johnny, how do you feel when you're denied smokes?" She inquired.

"Doesn't matter what I feel, this is about you." He pulled another cigarette out and lit it.

"I'm literally getting taken over by you. Give me a goddamn cigarette." She reached for the one between his lips, but he caught her arms.

"Don't make me tie you up." He was able to hold her arms back with little effort.

If V hadn't been curious about him tying her up, she would've been concerned about her lack of strength.

"You wouldn't. Plus, you need me mobile so we can destroy shit."

"Not tonight, I don't. Told you to rest," he warned again.

"I'm not tired. At least let me sit up and smoke with you," V pushed, scooting closer to him.

"You're being more annoying than usual. Upset I used your body without permission?"

"Used my body would be an understatement. You took my body for a joyride." V tried for the cigarette again, this time winning the fight.

She knew it was only because he allowed her too though.

"Got you back in one piece, didn't I?" He asked.

"Barely. I'll need a week soaking in a tub and another week to sleep." She put the cigarette up to her lips.

"Gonna have to accept sleeping on a bed stained with bodily fluids and a shower that might not work."

"You couldn't bring me to a resort?" V joked.

"I brought you here for a reason, V," he admitted without so much as a glance in her direction.

V sat up a little more, "what reason is that? Getting tetanus?"

"Can you stand?" He turned towards her.

"Yeah, wh-"

"Come over here." He stood without explanation.

V slid off the bed and stood up slowly, letting her legs adjust for a moment before straightening up. She shuffled towards the kitchen, trying to avoid the large stains on the floor.

"Open up that cabinet and lift up the bottom board." He leaned against the wall while she carefully crouched to open it up.

"What am I lookin' for?" She asked, searching for a good spot to lift up the board.

She popped the board out and sat it to the side. She reached in and grabbed two metal dog tags on a chain.

"Are these-"

"Mine." He answered.

V sat back against the wall, turning the tags in her hands, "they've been here all this time?"

"Had to pry that board up myself," he said, stepping in front of her.

"Johnny... I- why are you giving me these?" V felt the significance of the moment right away. Johnny wouldn't do something like that if it was meaningless to him.

"Never found anyone worthy of having them, not one, until I met you, V." Johnny struggled to look up at her.

"Johnny-"

"You had to accept me coming into your life with no warning. Probably know me better than anyone ever has." He watched as she put them around her neck.

"Really didn't have much of a choice, but I'll be honest, I like having you around," V replied, letting the tags rest between her cleavage.

"Of all the people I could've ended up stuck in, I'm glad it was you."

The softest grin played on his lips and V realized it was the first time she'd seen him genuinely smile. No hint of anger, spite, or sarcasm at all.

She could've come back with a snarky comment like their usual banter but reconsidered. She couldn't ruin the surprisingly soft side he just revealed.

"I uh... thanks, Johnny. Means a lot." She stepped closer and kissed his cheek.

Johnny tensed and V froze, both of them realizing they'd never actually been this close to one another, even though they were connected. V placed her hand on his cheek and turned towards him, hesitating before pressing her lips to his softly.

V noticed his hesitation immediately and began to pull away, but he grabbed her hips and brought her back.

"You don't have to... I- I probably shouldn't have... "

He silenced her with a soft kiss that quickly turned harsh. He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her in closer, his lips moving perfectly against hers. When he finally released her she was in a daze, feeling like the breath had been taken from her lungs.

"Johnny, I-"

"Been curious about that." He said.

"Yeah? Why'd you wait so long?" She teased as she tried to regain her composure.

"Didn't think you wanted it. Why'd you waste your time on the cop?"

"Just can't let that go, can ya?" She laughed and leaned in for a hug.

"Never will. Still annoys me." He pulled her in and held her pressed against his chest.

"I wouldn't have fucked him had I known you wanted this." V was enjoying the softness of his touch as he ran his hands down her sides to her hips.

"Guess we need to communicate better," he said.

"And here I thought our problem was too much communication." She kissed his neck without thinking and paused, unsure if he was ready for more.

Johnny let out a soft sigh, "you need to rest."

"I'm not tired. Especially not now." V said, not moving away from him.

"Not really sure of this is a good idea." Johnny said.

"Since when do you worry about that?" V pressed her lips to his neck again.

"Since I started to like havin' you around," he admitted, but he made no move to stop you.

"Isn't that a good reason to keep going?" She pulled back, searching his expression for an answer.

"Relationships with me tend to break down once the fucking starts."

"It's not like you can leave though." V shrugged.

"Might not work out like you think." He stood still and let her continue to kiss along his jaw.

"It might work out better than you think." V placed her hand on his chest.

"Stop and think it over before you keep doin' that, V." He let out a low grunt as she continued to kiss closer to his lips.

"Already thought about it, Johnny," she whispered, breath hot against his skin.

His hand was around her throat in an instant as he shifted their positions, pressing her back against the wall.

"Ain't no going back after. Sure you want this?" Johnny's lips were close, but just out of reach for her.

"Yes, Johnny. Tell me you don't?" She was already panting for him.

"Pretty sure you know the answer to that, V," he said softly.

"Then take what you want," she whispered, eyes darting between his eyes and lips.

"Exactly what I've always done and it usually doesn't end well."

"But not with me." V was struggling to keep from begging.

"V-"

"Please, Johnny?" She asked softly, hoping he'd give in to what they both wanted.

He pulled her into a harsh kiss, making her moan at the sudden contact.

His hands moved down her sides to grab the hem of her tanktop and pull it over her head. The sound of his dog tags clinging as they fell back to her chest was like music to his ears.

Johnny returned his lips to hers as if he was dying for another taste. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him flush against her. His hands moved down to her pants, working at the button and her belt until he could push her pants down to her knees.

He had to concentrate on being gentle with her after what happened. That wasn't his usual style, but for her, he was willing to change things up. He was finally understanding why it could be satisfying to put someone else's needs above his own. V more than deserved that, especially after he was dropped unceremoniously into her psyche.

"Damn shoes." She sighed as she worked to get them off.

"No rush, V." Johnny said as he trailed his lips down her neck.

She finally got them off and shuffled out of her pants. She pulled him close and kissed him again, needing to feel his lips against her once more.

"We're going slow. Can't have you feeling worse." He slowly walked her towards the bed and gently laid her down.

"You don't have to treat me like glass, Johnny. Not gonna break that easy."

"No doubts that you're tough, V. But you need to take it easy." He crawled on the bed and peeled her panties off, settling between her thighs.

"Just relax," he said as he lowered his head and slid his tongue up her cunt.

V inhaled sharply at the feeling of his tongue flicking over her clit.

"Fuck, Johnny." She squirmed.

"Still, V." He ordered and ducked his head back down to focus on eating her out.

She gripped the sheets beneath her and tried to stay still, but it was proving to be a lot harder than she thought.

The only sounds in the room were her shallow breaths and the faint sound of Johnny's tongue lapping at her clit.

The bed creaked beneath her the harder he pressed her into the mattress.

"Johnny..." V panted for him the closer she got to coming.

"Let go for me, V." Johnny said.

She held on as long as she could, not ready for it to end.

"Don't be stubborn, V," he said, breath warm against her skin.

"You're the stubborn one, Johnny, remember?" She moaned as she squirmed beneath him.

Johnny grinned and dove back in, moving his tongue faster and easing two fingers into her. V bucked and writhed until she couldn't hold on any longer.

"Fuck... don't stop- right there." She moaned loudly as she came.

#johnny silverhand #johnny x v #cyberpunk 2077 #the joytoys write

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ravenouswild · 4 years ago

Text

A Hobo - Frank Castle imagine

Imagine Frank being like a guardian angel

It was dark on the streets of Hells Kitchen and walking alone was less than ideal for you. This small part of New York wasn't a stranger to high amounts of crime, so as you walked your normal path, you couldn't help but fell a need to hurry your steps.

You were on a fairly quiet street, a few walkers here and there, and the occasional drunk. You liked to think that you were prepared to protect yourself if the need should arise, but all you really hand was a tin of pepper spray at the bottom of your bag.

The clanging of metal drew you from your thoughts as you looked up to see a homeless man sitting just a few yards away eat some slop from a metal can. It had to be at least in the low 50s tonight and he looked to be in a beaten up jumper. You fell bad, because you knew what it was like to have literally nothing.

You steps became smaller as you began to search through you bag for at least some change. As a tip earning worker, you didnt make much and what you did make mostly came in small bills and change.

Once you stood in front of the man, your fingers grabbed the metal coins, pulled them from your bag and dropped them into his metallic cup. The colliding metals made a clanking sound that carried down the street.

As you pulled your hand back, the ragged man peared into his cup, staring at the few quarters and dimes that rested at the bottom. When he looked up, you expected him to thank you for your generosity and you would wave it off as not even a problem, but his features held a look of annoyance that surprised you.

"That's it?" You were taken back by his tone, shocked. You opened your mouth but nothing came as you looked at your light weight purse.

"I, uh… that's all I have." You stammered, at a lost for words. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry!?" You yelped in surprise not only at his sudden raise in voice but also in his sudden change of position from sitting to standing. You tried to take a step back, an uncomfortable feeling flowing through you at being so close to the explosive man, but a large hand gripped onto your upper arm.

This made you freeze in your movements, afraid that if you move his already crushing grip would get tighter, or even break your arm because it sure felt like it.

"Please, let go." Your voice was small, almost impossible to hear over your pounding heart. The reason for the escalation was completely forgot, replaced with utter fear at the angering man in front of you.

His burning glare and mangled appearance made you regret stepping from your house.

"A spoiled bitch like you always walking around, pockets full, but when I comes to the ones below you act like you have no more than them." He spat.

"I swear, I-" You were stunned. Never in your life had you been physically hurt purposely and never would you have imagine that a slap could hurt so bad. You couldn't stop the water forming in your eyes, as your unrestrained hand cover your face.

You were suddenly yanked back to face the man, no longer the desperate beggar looking for change.

"A few coins when you were that piece around your neck." Your heart sunk just as your hand felt to your neck.

"No-" You couldn't speak or even move fast enough to stop the man from basically grabbing your throat to rip the necklace off your neck.

There was probably only one thing you cared about more than that necklace and you would be damned if you let someone take it. Your previous fear had suddenly vanished as you glare at the man.

You first mistake was your sudden burst of courage and your second was acting on it. Because once you tried to reach out, no amount of strength was enough to overpower a man twice your size and weight. With a small shove you were thrown into the thankfully empty street onto the asphalt.

The sound of you hitting the ground sounded hard than it felt. But the sound of two solid objects colliding pulled you from your internal thoughts.

You attacker was now on the ground being attacked, no beaten by another. He was punching the man over and over, grunts of anger leaving his lungs with every strike.

You could only lay and watch as he only stopped when the man stopped moving. His heavy breaths were the only thing heard as you slowly sat up.

"Frank?" You had never seen him like this before. In such a blind rage that anything might set him off. When his head turned and his eye met yours, it seemed as though his entire body relaxed.

Frank stood, pushing himself up from his knees and slightly stepping back from the unmoving man. His next move was towards you, holding his hand out and down for you to take. You didnt hesitate putting your small hand in his bloody and bruised one has he helped you to your feet.

You stepped close to him, still slightly shocked by the whole ordeal. Everything had happen so fast it was a wonder it happened at all.

"Are you okay?" You looked at the man.

"You just bet a man almost to death, and you're asking if 'I' am okay?" He knew what you were doing, so he stayed silent, staring into your eyes. You were the first to look away.

"Yeah." You replied, once again looking at the man on the ground. As soon as it caught your eyes you wasted no time in stepping away from Frank to grab it off the ground. In the low light is was hard to see the full damage, but you knew at the very least the chain was broken.

With a sigh, you carefully placed the jewelry in a safe place of your purse.

"Could we go? Being near a man who could've killed me is making me kinda uneasy." You had little compassion for the beaten. Even if Frank had gone a little overboard, she was glad it happened at all. As she looked up at Frank, he nodded to her question.

"Yeah. I'll walk you home."

"Actually," Your sudden objection cause the man to stop in his tracks, turning to look at the woman. "I still wanna go to the diner like we planned. I dont want to let some jerk ruin the one night a week I get to see you, plus I'm really hungry."

Frank's wide smirk didnt leave his face as he nodded and started towards the diner with you beside him. He had to give you credit though. You had just ben harrassed by a man about his size and still found the time to indulge yourself in your food addiction.

It almost made him laugh to himself just thinking of the whole ordeal.

In the diner, you both sat in the corner, for Frank's sake of course. You ordered your usual, waffles with fries while Frank had his black coffee.

As you ate your weird food combo and Frank sipped his coffee, just like the other times you ate here you watched Frank. You admired his skill of being completely aware of his surroundings. And he probably tell you the license plate numbers to all the vehicles in the parking lot.

"Frank?" Frank in his usual dark colored hoodie, long hair and over grown beard, look at you, waiting for what ever you had to say. "I never thanked you for what you didnt for me earlier."

He scoffed with a smile, because he would hesitate to do it again.

"Well, I would've let you deal with him on your own but figured I had nothing else to do." You rolled your eyes at the man but still smiled.

"I'm just glad have have my very own guardian angel. You could use a bit of a shave and a shower, because you look no better than that homeless man." Frank laughed, a real laugh. And it made you smile to see him relax a little.

#Frank Castle #frank castle imagine #the punisher #the punisher imagine #frank castle x reader #the punisher x reader #a hobo #guardian angel

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xielanji · 5 years ago

Text

supposedly happy | wangxian au (given)

listen to this while reading

inspired by the anime given

angst

one shot

The feeling of performing on stage for the first time. Nervousness? Adrenaline rush? Exciting? Scary?. Lan Wangji is having mixed feelings , it was his first time standing at the middle of the stage after all. Anyone would've never guessed he was feeling that way , his dull expressions would only be visible for them but to the ones close to him could tell he’s actually anxious. Not many people could read Lan Wangji; his Uncle ,his brother and him.

If it wasn’t for Mo Xuanyu accidentally hearing him humm a song, he wouldn’t have been there at the center. He found a friend in Mo Xuanyu, in fact he was the one that encouraged him to write lyrics for the band. Lan Wangji wasn’t good at expressing feelings so naturally it took weeks before he finally found inspiration in writing one, focusing on his muse and deeper feelings. And then it was time for their performance, their band name ‘Light’ was called.

The air felt different, along with the cheers from the audience. Lan Wangji’s limbs were shaking uncontrollably, but when he took a deep breath and looked at the crowd he snapped out of it and went back to reality. The drummer tapped his drumsticks and counted down to three and finally he strummed his guitar, hand placements were messy but tolerable. After the intro the music toned down into a slower beat, the crowd were wide eyed along with his band members when he started singing.

Just like The snow that won't completely melt away ,I keep with me these feelings deep inside .Just let me know the words Should I just close Now ,The door that guards strongly this love?

In his mind all he could think about was that one person. He met him one summer, asking him to be his friend, Lan Wangji was just peacefully sitting at the swing then. In Lan Wangji’s nature, he couldn’t keep up on the latter’s energy, as a teenager it was given that the latter would have that much energy, enough to tire Lan Wangji out. After all of the things the latter have done, Lan Wangji felt his heart beating faster than normal every time he smiles at him.

It wasn’t in his plan but as time went by, the feelings were deeper and he couldn’t hide it anymore so instead he hid himself away from him and everyone, afraid of his feelings being found out. The latter kept on knocking at Lan Wangji’s door. The door that separates both of their hearts, once it's opened then there’s no turning back at all. Lan Wangji with the hopes of his feelings melting away only grew stronger when he was held in the latter’s arms.

You're my everything and now,My soul keeps calling for you And,now I am completely in love.

Lan Wangji then decided to embrace the other and be unrestrained when it comes to falling deeper. He still remembers the way they kissed for the first time, under the street lamps at midnight. The way he looked down at the shorter man’s face, his smile brighter than any lights or stars above them, the eyes shining as if Lan Wangji was the only one in the world, he was his world.

He wouldn’t forget about the times he’d quarrel with his family to fight for him, the times where it’s just the both of them against everyone. He was Lan Wangji’s everything and he couldn’t afford to lose him.

Just walk right now along with me. Through all the ways that we can go.I ask right now don't let me go. With no goodbyes or moving on. Just stay with me, wherever I go

Lan Wangji singed his heart out, emotions filled with regrets and unspoken words finally being expressed,but with no one receiving those on the other end of the line. It was like there was a projector playing all of the memories he had with this man, all he could think about right now was him, and only him. He messed up a few chords from time to time. He sang along with the heavy burdens in his heart, all he wanted was to walk with him until the end. Without any warnings nor letters, he ended his own life.

Don't let me be alone,The spell or maybe curse has not been broken yet. I'm still holding the baggage that I had, Just please relieve this pain.

Everyday he carried the pain of losing his loved one, although he continued existing, there was no reason to live anymore. It was a long time since he felt he was truly alone again. Ever since he got into his life, the once dull and colorless world Lan Wangji suddenly bursts with colors. The strong feeling of regret still surrounds his mind, he wished he could have stood beside him, he wished he told him what he was feeling, he wished that he could at least take away his pain. It was noticeable, something changed, but he shrugged it off knowing that he probably wouldn’t tell him because he doesn't want Lan Wangji to worry. He wished and still wishes that he’s right next to him.

He never really thought he would say goodbye to him one day, until now he daren’t say goodbye because Lan Wangji was still holding on to that small bit of hope that he would hold his hands again.

Hey, what's our future? What should I keep on waiting for? What am I supposed to find? In this cold place, let me know.

The days after his death, Lan Wangji found himself strolling around the places they used to go together. The familiar scenarios , signs and even the vendors were still there, but the person he went with wasn’t. Lan Wangji hoped that he’d bump into him, impossible but he was still hoping it could happen, that one day he would wake up from this nightmare with him laying by his side. It took Lan Wangji a few weeks to sink in that he’s never coming back, he broke down at the swing he once sat at the day he met the boy, until he got used to going to that certain place almost everyday as if he’s waiting for someone that will never come.

In the end, when the sun loses its light and the moon shows up, he would call it a day and return to his house.

The tears are falling from my eyes, They're freezing everything inside. Under this beautiful blue sky, They're just pretending to be kind

He could feel it, the numbness. Lan Wangji just wanted to cry, but he can’t. He clutched his chest, Lan Wangji lost control. In reality even if he wanted to scream all the pain away, there was no one willing to listen and understand him. Lan Wangji picked up the red guitar, not knowing what to do with it, only memories of him playing a song for Lan Wangji lingers when he eyes the guitar.

Lan Wangji didn’t notice himself tearing up as he sang the words that were meant for him. Mo Xuanyu even spotted some people wiping their eyes, the way Lan Wangji sang made them feel like they were mourning too, he was so emotional that even the others could empathize with him.

And around the time. they fall down my face. Two people who were always together are torn apart.

That's all there is to this story.

“Wei Ying”, the boy hummed in response, “Wei Wuxian” Lan Wangji held his hands, “I love you”. Wei Wuxian didn’t expect Lan Wangji to say those three words first, so Wei Wuxian said, “ Lan Zhan! I love you, I fancy you, I want you, I whatever you”, hugging Lan Wangji tight, never wanting to let go of his embrace. Two people molded perfectly with each other, The sun that gives his light to the moon and the moon that wouldn’t shine without the sun. The total opposite of each other’s personality binded by love that made them fit for one another. A happy love story, supposedly happy.

Lan Wangji still can’t forgive himself when one day before Wei Wuxian’s passing, he blurred out the words he never really meant. “Are you willing to die for me then?” Lan Wangji coldy told Wei Wuxian, it was out of anger. Those words pierced through Wei Wuxian’s heart. The next thing Lan Wangji knew after they parted ways, He went to Wei Wuxian’s house to apologize, but what welcomed him was the sight he’d never forget. It wasn’t supposed to happen, they were supposed to end up growing old together.

Just like that, the two people that could barely be seen without the other were torn apart. An unfortunate ending of a supposedly happy love story. In Wei Wuxian’s mind, he proved to Lan Wangji how much he loved him.

Even if your everything loses its shape one day,You'll always be here within me. As I try to move forward again, Even though I couldn't say goodbye. You'll always be here with me

Lan Wangji, who didn’t have a high tolerance on alcohol, drank a few bottles. The next day he woke up with a red rose tattooed on his left chest, it was Wei Wuxian’s favorite flower. Even if he was intoxicated when he got the tattoo, he did not regret having it for it would mean that wherever he goes it means that Wei Wuxian will always be with him in his heart. He then looked up and said, “Wei Ying, I’m sorry” his voice shaking and his tired eyes were once again spilling out tears.

The song came to an end and he quickly went back, he rode his motorcycle and ran away. Lan Wangji sat again on the swing, it was midnight when he got to the playground. Lan Wangji looked at the moon and smiled, his hands on his heart, a habit he developed when he remembers Wei Wuxian,

“Wei Ying, did you hear me sing tonight? I wrote that song only for you. Wei Ying, tonight I was very brave, you will always be my source of strength, I did all of that so you could hear me up there. I’m still sorry Wei Ying, I love you so much and I am missing you more and more each day.” Lan Wangji lowered his head down, tears running down his face, he took one last look at the moon and said,“Take care of me, Wei Ying.”

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