#I think this is the first time I've posted any rant about something genuinely negative...

[bunglegaydogs]

Oda and Dazai's relationship

Forewarning now that I've finished it; This is fucking long. Like, I;m not joking, this is almost 10,000 words. Anyways, if you want to read some of it, enjoy! <3

The things in this anime that get me are Odasaku and Dazai, Dazai and Chuuya, Yosano and Ranpo and Ranpo and Fukuzawa. Those dynamics FUCK ME UP.

And so because I like to torture myself with tears and emotions, I'm going to go on a rant about Dazai and Odasaku, because holy shit I finished The Dark Era LN yesterday and I was crying so hard that I was dizzy, shaking and could not breathe. It fucked me up fr. Anyways, I love their father/son / brother dynamic, so :)

I don't even know where to start with this? It's going to be an incoherent and incomprehensible rant, but I need to get my shit out there.

Their relationship is one of the most intrinsic and gut wrenching. Not just on a familial level, but on a personal level. Despite them never being personal with each other, they knew each other the best. Literal best friends. And that's what's so heartbreaking about Oda's death. Dazai never opens up to anyone, he never shows his true face, and always hides his intentions. When he shows his "true face" it's for a split second, blink and you miss it. As I said in a previous post, remember the Wan! jumpscare? Where Atsushi got very upset about Dazai talking about how when he goes, he wants to go out just as beautifully? That shit hurted. But it was a brief slip of the mask. After that, he remains silent. Not a word. He just stares at the fireworks, dull lifeless eyes looking up at the sky. And, when Dazai shows these sides to Odasaku, Odasaku is clearly upset by them, showing how deeply he cares for Dazai. The Dark Era LN is literally the best thing ever for going into the itty bitty of their relationship, I actually love it so much, and I will be referencing it a thousand times in this.

First episode, 15 minutes in and we already see that Dazai cares a lot for Oda. Just after Oda gets sniped in Ango's room and he phones Dazai, Dazai at first jokes about how he never usually calls him. When he realises that Oda is in a serious situation, his demeanour changes. And when Oda says that he has the Silver Oracle on hand if need be, "There's no need. Don't push yourself too hard. Wait for me to get there." Just that one sentence and we see how much he cares for him. He's being protective, making sure that Oda doesn't get himself hurt. Then, of course, comes the actual alley scene where we see a much darker side to Dazai and the anime as a whole, however it's where we also see how Dazai's mindset and habits affect Odasaku negatively, and how upset he gets when Dazai pulls this shit. There are some vital differences in the anime and with the LN which really fucking get me. The LN goes more in depth of course, but we hear the emotion in the anime. But, the book is written so well that we know the emotions anyway.

“I can see you’re not happy… I’m sorry for compromising your principles.”

His smile weakened as he spoke. Dazai usually never apologized to anyone, which was why what he said really rang true.

This always fucking gets me. He genuinely cares about what Odasaku thinks and how he feels. Dazai, who generally does not care for the emotions of others and such, apolgises when he sees that Oda is upset by something that he's done and is affected by Oda being upset, which is something that, when it comes to Dazai, is shocking, as we hardly ever see that side of him. The majority of the times that we do (honestly, if we ever do) is with Odasaku. A genuine deep-rooted affection and fondness for someone else. Yes, he deeply cares about those in the ADA, but not to the extent that he cared about Oda. He is concerned for those in the Agency's wellbeing, of course. But he's never been cared for by anyone but Odasaku before. The Agency all have deep trust between them, but Dazai will never ever show his true self to any of them. He is a guarded person, never letting anybody see his true intentions or if he's truly hurting. Odasaku has been the only one to ever see that. One of Odasaku's regrets whilst he was dying was that he never tried to get Dazai to speak up about his issues; in the LN it has such a good way of explaining how he feels about it and it tears my heart apart.

“Your organization’s called Mimic, right?” Dazai asked the man, but he didn’t reply. He didn’t even blink. “I’m not expecting an answer. To tell the truth, I admire you guys. No other organization has tried to take the Mafia head-on like this before. And nobody has ever successfully managed to point their gun at me like this with the intent to kill, either.”

Dazai faced the attacker, then began to walk toward him as if he were taking a stroll through his garden.

“Dazai, stop,” I begged in a hushed tone.

“I hope you can see the excitement in my eyes, too.” Dazai continued to address the enemy who was holding him at gunpoint. “If you just squeeze your finger ever so slightly, you can give me precisely what I crave most. The only thing I’m afraid of is that you’ll miss.”

His lips curled as he approached the man. The muzzle was now fewer than ten feet away.

“You need to aim for the heart or the head. I recommend the head. You only get one chance, though. My colleagues here won’t be kind enough to give you another.” Dazai tapped the middle of his forehead right over his eyebrows a few times. “But I know you can do it. You’re a sniper, aren’t you? I can still see the imprint from the sniper rifle on your cheek. You’re not the spotter.”

“Now shoot. Right here. You can’t miss from this close up.” Dazai grinned from ear to ear. “You’ll be killed whether or not you shoot, so just bury the enemy executive before you go.”

“Dazai!” I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart.

“Please take me with you. Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream. Come, now. Shoot.”

Still pointing at his forehead, Dazai closed in on the enemy with a smile that could’ve even been described as peaceful.

The attacker bit his lip and tightened his finger around the trigger.

—He’s at his breaking point!

The sniper and I fired almost simultaneously.

Two flashes of light flooded the alley.

Shot in the arm, the man spun around.

Dazai violently bent backward after being shot point-blank.

A split second like a blue flash of lightning.

A never-ending instant.

Then time began to move again.

Immediately, Dazai’s men showered the enemy with bullets as he spun from the impact of my shot. Like a rag being pummeled by a waterfall, the man was thrown backward, scattering flesh and blood until he perished.

Leaning away, Dazai took two, three steps back before stopping.

“…………How unfortunate,” he lamented, still bent over. “Looks like I didn’t manage to die this time, either.”

Dazai lifted his head up. The skin on the side of his head, slightly above his right ear, was slit open and bleeding.

The bullet had just missed.

I looked at Dazai. There was something there invisible to the human eye. You could’ve called it demons of the mind—something that could never be seen—just something compelled to destroy all.

“Sorry to shock you like that.” Noticing my gaze, Dazai scratched the side of his head and grinned. “Pretty realistic acting, right? I knew from the start that he would miss. The imprint from the sniper rifle was on his left cheek, meaning that was the side he used to shoot. In other words, he’s left-handed, but he was holding the pistol in his right hand. So he was going to shoot with his nondominant hand, he could barely even stand on those wobbly legs, and to make matters worse, he was using that old-fashioned gun. The only way he would have hit me was if he pressed the muzzle against my body.”

I didn’t say anything. I just stared at Dazai as he explained with a smile.

“All I had to do was talk to him to buy some time until his arm got tired. If I slowly walked toward him, he wouldn’t be able to shoot straight away. The rest was in your hands, Odasaku. I knew you would do something. Pretty logical, right?”

“Yeah.”

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity.

Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.

Sorry for the long extract. Just thought the whole scene was the most effective way of showing it.

Anyways, this is one of the scenes that fucks me up the most.

Because through Odasaku's eyes, all that he sees here is a lost child, pleading and crying out for help. Despite Dazai being 18, to Oda he's still young (which, he is. 18 is fucking young.) to him. When he sees Dazai like this, he grows protective. He is rattled and very clearly shaken. The difference between the LN and the anime here is that Odasaku in the anime tells him to be quiet, because he's "heard enough". He knows that Dazai is just chatting a bit of wham.

"Dazai, stop," I begged in a hushed tone.

He's upset. Odasaku is a fucking expert at hiding his emotions, as we see when Mori tells him that Ango is missing. He expresses absolutely nothing, the twitch of his finger being the only giveaway. Here, we see how emotionally distressed he is by Dazai's actions, showing how much he truly cares for Dazai.

“Now shoot. Right here. You can’t miss from this close up.” Dazai grinned from ear to ear. “You’ll be killed whether or not you shoot, so just bury the enemy executive before you go.”

“Dazai!” I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart.

This, once again, shows just how distressed he is. This scene fucking breaks me. He feels so far away from Dazai, because nobody can fucking reach him. Dazai's so far gone into this darkness that he's shrouded himself and found himself in that nobody can ever reach him. They can't pull him back from that ledge.

Dazai violently bent backward after being shot point-blank.

A split second like a blue flash of lightning.

A never-ending instant.

Then time began to move again.

He is fucking distressed here. Odasaku isn't doing okay, because he's scared that Dazai is dead. However, despite him knwoing he's not thanks to Flawless, he's still fucking terrified and shaken.

I looked at Dazai. There was something there invisible to the human eye. You could’ve called it demons of the mind—something that could never be seen—just something compelled to destroy all.

Oda sees more than what everyone else sees; everyone else sees a sociopathic suicidal maniac who's strange and quirky and has a weird fucking goofy side to him. However, Oda sees more to Dazai than this. Another thing to mention is that whilst everyone looks at Dazai and thinks "Wow, he seems so young for the amount of achievements in the mafia that he has. Scary kid." Odasaku sees Dazai as a child who is in need of help, a crying child who seeks someone to love and care for him. A lonely child.

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity.

Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.

This. This scene is everything to me. I will never not talk about this scene when talking about Dazai and Oda. It genuinely gets me in tears, I can't deal. When I first read this I had to stop for a second, because holy shit it just got me. Oda is the only one who has ever seen Dazai like this; everyone else sees him as someone to be used, or someone to be hated, or someone to be feared. But Oda sees him as someone to be loved. When Oda says 'Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.', I don't know which explanation of mine I think is the most suitable. Because, he either says this because he sees that expression, and to him it seems like Dazai is so fucking happy and ecstatic to finally having what he craves the most, and that alone unsettles Oda. Or, Oda sees that expression and is so unsettled, because to him Dazai is just a child. A crying child that is shouting for help. I genuinely think it's both, but hey, who am I to be able to discern? I'm fucking dumb lol.

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

Here, we see Oda's reaction after the initial shock. Here, I think it's pretty father/brother like of him when he says 'I probably would've punched him right then.' It's a protective and familial instinct; Odasaku is distressed, and wants Dazai to know that what he did was not okay. Oda is not happy with him, and Dazai kind of knows this, but doesn't know how to respond to it. As aforementioned, nobody has cared for Dazai like Odasaku does.

Now, time for a little insight on how Oda sees Dazai, and more explanation for how Oda wants to shelter him and protect him like a fucking son. One of the most heartbreaking fucking parts of the entire series; Dazai opening up for the first time ever. At least, I'm sure it is (that we see, I mean). After Dazai and Odasaku go to Bar Lupin and find Ango there, and Dazai then explains why he's not upset (bullshit he's devastated) and reveals a deep part of him, something which none of them have done with each other before, really. However, different translations, so I'll just put all three.

"It's alright, I'm not sad. I knew this would happen from the beginning. It wouldn't have mattered what side you were on. Because anything I never want to lose, is always lost. This is how it's always been for me. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life of suffering." - Anime dub. "I'm not sad. I knew this from the beginning. Whether you were with the gifted special operations division or not, anything I would never want to lose is always lost. It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering." - Anime sub. “I’m not sad. I knew from the very beginning,” Dazai said. His face was a blank mask now. “It didn’t matter whether you were with the Special Division for Unusual Powers. I always lose the things I don’t want to lose the most. That’s why I don’t feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it. That’s just how things are. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.” - Dark Era LN

This is actually one of the most gut wrenching scenes ever, I can't deal. Because honestly, I relate to this on a fucking spiritual level.

One of the parts that really sticks out to me is the "That's why I don't feel anything anymore." because that is how he manages these things. How he keeps his emotions in check. He just doesn't feel, he's desensitised to these things, and he tries to make sure that he doesn't care for anything, whether that be himself, subordinates, partners, friends, figures in his life, etc. He numbs himself to it all because he expects only hurt to come out of it. However, he let his guard down. He thought he could have a nice thing, and it was snatched away from him the moment he came to peace with the fact that he was comfortable with them, Oda and Ango. Then, the one thing he doesn't want to happen at all, the one fucking thing he has left to hold onto in this world is fucking ripped from him; Oda. Having already expected bad outcomes to anything that he truly desires, he still couldn't of expected it to happen and obviously wasn't prepared for Oda to just go and die like that. And he doesn't know what to do anymore. Because Oda was the last thing, his last tether to this world. He was the one thing worth living for, really, and now he's gone. Yet, Oda's final wish gives him something to keep pursuing in life. He sees no value in the act of living, and he himself sees no value within him. So, the one thing that keeps him going is Oda's final words to him. Oda's death hit him hard (obvs) because he was the last stable thing in his life when everything else fell apart. And now, he has nothing else to lean on. Oda was there for him, Oda cared for him and wasn't just using him. Dazai realises this, and that's what makes it so devastating, because Oda was the only person who Dazai could actually trust and love without getting hurt in some way or other. And we all know how important trust is to Dazai (the people that Dazai trusts are minimal. It's fucking Chuuya and Oda. Yes, he trusts the ADA. Not to the extent of these two. He places his everything in them, just in opposite ways.).

I stared at Dazai. We had known each other for a while, but this was the first time he’d ever opened up about himself. I could see a thorn the size of a harpoon wedged deeply into his life.

This got me fucked up fr fr. Oda's response to Dazai's spiel about losing the things he yearns the most. For the two years that they've known each other, Dazai has not once opened up to them. Not a single time. Yet, they all have such a deep friendship and bond that that doesn't even matter; they're as close as they are regardless. 'I could see a thorn the size of a harpoon wedged deeply into his life.' Again, this impacts Oda, because he sees how much Dazai is hurting and, once again, craves to soothe him, because he sees a child in distress.

“Dazai.”

He paused when I called his name. I didn’t have anything else to say, though; I simply said his name.

Nobody knew what Dazai was really thinking.

It’s an unwritten rule in the Mafia to not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. One must never open the door to another’s heart and try to judge them for the darkness tucked within. That was one nice thing about the Mafia.

But maybe, just maybe, that was the wrong approach—or at the very least, when it came to the man sitting next to me. Somebody probably should’ve tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they’d suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

But in reality, such a vacuum didn’t exist. Chests don’t open up like that, and no one is capable of such feats. What we see is everything, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent.

“Well, I should get going,” Dazai said before standing.

“Dazai.” He turned around when I called out to him. Rubbing my hands together, I looked down at the empty plate and coffee cup, then back up. “Are you thinking that way because—?”

Out of nowhere, Dazai’s cell phone began to ring. He lightly bowed to me before placing the phone against his ear and answering. A few moments went by as he listened to whoever was on the other side, but soon enough, his lips suddenly twisted into a grin.

Bro, bro. This gets me fucked up.

Nobody knew what Dazai was really thinking.

It’s an unwritten rule in the Mafia to not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. One must never open the door to another’s heart and try to judge them for the darkness tucked within. That was one nice thing about the Mafia.

'...for the darkness tucked within.' With it being the mafia, Odasaku clearly knows that everyone's going through some fucked up shit. And he knows not to stick his nose in other people's business, because he wouldn't want people doing that to him. Except, something is compelling him to get Dazai to open up, to show Odasaku the darkness and seek the help he needs. Once again, crying child analogy.

But maybe, just maybe, that was the wrong approach—or at the very least, when it came to the man sitting next to me. Somebody probably should’ve tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they’d suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

'Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they'd suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.' Christ, Odasaku. Pretty fucking deep analogy there. But this here just shows us how deeply affected and wounded Oda is by how hurt Dazai is. It also gives us more child-like statements from Oda. The way he describes it here just reminds me of a child. A child, kicking and screaming because whatever is happening to them they do not like. And this is exactly what's happening; he's saying that he knows that Dazai would not appreciate people looking further into his life and soul, and that he would very clearly make a fuss and a protest about it. It also likens it to 'The Time I Picked Up Dazai' (it's such a good read. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest that you do. Also, spoilers ahead for it <3) ~~~ The way it reflects the book is in it, there is a scene in which Oda has to physically restrain Dazai from trying to stab himself with a knife whilst he's grinning like a madman.

~~~

However, my expectation is betrayed once again. I have forgotten about the foreign matter that exists in this house. Dazai, of course. He is more unpredictable than any human I have ever met. For example, if two people are on a three-legged race to the goal, Dazai might just turn around and start running in the opposite direction at a random moment. Or, he can desperately climb a cliff to survive, then all of a sudden, say that he wants to fall off it and die. He is a guy that has strayed too far from the reasons of this world. Our dear Trickster.

Dazai suddenly comes up with the idea that if he jumps out of the door with a gun in his hand, there are chances he can be shot dead by the cops. Oda tells him there is no gun in the house, so he decides to get a knife instead. He rushes into the kitchen, even faster than Oda. The cops outside notice the sound and ask them to open the door.

Oda knows that he has to stop Dazai, if he doesn’t want things to get worse.

I have to stop that. I so want to cry and ask someone to help, but there is no one who can do it but me now.

He jumps up and sweeps Dazai’s legs, making him roll on the floor. He grabs Dazai’s neck, turns behind and gets into a chokehold, trying to choke him unconscious. Dazai, as a result, struggles happily while kicking his legs around. He hits the kitchen cabinet once, twice until Oda hears a sound of something coming off. Oda realizes that those desperate kicks are actually on purpose, and it makes the knife Dazai was trying to grab earlier fall off right to where Oda is. Oda can’t move because he is busy holding Dazai down, so he has to use his ability to predict the track of the knife and barely dodges it. The knife stabs vertically into the floor next to him. He tries to calm Dazai down.

“Be still.” I say, “Don’t struggle. It is not scary. It doesn’t hurt.”

I don’t even know what I’m saying myself.

“You liar! Mori-san said the same thing when he gave me shots.”

Dazai says so and keeps going wild. It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai. Who is this Mori-san again?

Dazai keeps kicking the kitchen stand and this time, it’s the kettle above Oda’s head that’s going to fall.

It is a situation that I have never experienced before. A kettle above my head, a knife next to my face, false money somewhere in my room, cops at my door. And I’m strangling a guy I just barely met.

Oda finally manages to choke Dazai unconscious. He goes “fufu ahaha” before he faints. Oda pulls out the knife next to him and throws it toward the falling kettle, successfully catching it by its handle and having it jammed into the wooden part of the kitchen cabinet. By that time, the cops also manage to kick the door open and step into the room.

~~~

(translation and descriptions by @popopretty ! <333)

This entire scene is so fucking goofy to me and genuinely one of my favourites, but it's also really scary because Dazai just really wants to fucking die. However, after only a few days of knowing him, Oda is growing to care for him and doesn't want him to die. Twice in this extract thing does he try and stop him, and then once more before this when Dazai tries crawling out of the house to go and die outside, to which Odasaku grabs him by his legs, wraps him in a blanket, drags him back to the bed and ties him up. Referring back to Odasaku's analogy to "get the darkness out" of Dazai, this scene is pretty similar to what he said. Dazai is fucking booting the kitchen cabinet to try and stab himself with the knife or get crushed by the kettle, and Oda is doing his damndest to stop him, resorting to strangling him unconscious so that he doesn't keep going fucking insane. Dazai, of course, finds this all highly amusing. To be honest, I might have only just realised that I'm reading it wrong. He was trying to kill himself with the knife first, but then because Oda gets him in a chokehold, he tries to get him off him instead? Man, I don't know. Either way, goofiest scene ever. I love it. But, he's 16 here (I think. I tried working it out, and I think he is. Because in Side B, when he's torturing that guy, he says that he's a PM Executive. And Oda talks about how young he looks, and in the anime/LN talks about the fact that he's known him a fairly long time. I wouldn't say that one year is a long time, but two years yeah. So Dazai's either 17 or 16 when he first meets Oda, and I won't lie, I think 16. ANYWAYS-) and so of course, Oda sees him as a child (which he is). However, despite him watching Dazai age for those two years, he still sees him as a child that he needs to protect, a child that he worries for.

He tries to calm Dazai down.

“Be still.” I say, “Don’t struggle. It is not scary. It doesn’t hurt.”

I don’t even know what I’m saying myself.

“You liar! Mori-san said the same thing when he gave me shots.”

Dazai says so and keeps going wild. It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai. Who is this Mori-san again?

This entire interaction to me seems like a child at the dentist or something. Despite the fact that he's got a kid in a chokehold tryna knock him out, he's reassuring him that it's fine, painless, and that he needs to calm down. Crying. This fucking guy. This whole bit is literally just Oda trying to subdue a kid going off the rails, and even the references to Mori (I will be fucking getting into what Dazai said when I do another analysis thing, don't you fucking worry) and Oda thinking 'It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai.' Problem child fr. Makes me giggle, also makes me sad. Anyways. Odasaku and Dazai's interactions are usually Odasaku letting Dazai be quite child-like, allowing for these things, because he knows that he hasn't been able to have a childhod or be a child. He lets Dazai be who he wants to be in front of him, no judgement. Dazai has many faces for other people, but with Oda, he can just let his guard down that small bit, be more comfortable with him. And Ango. They were like his makeshift parents in the time that he knew them. And then he loses that found family, and so where's that left him now?

“I have this friend who’s supporting several orphans all on his own, you see,” he continued, his weapon still drawn and aimed at the boy. “Akutagawa, I’m sure Odasaku would’ve been patient enough to give you the guidance you needed had he been the one who’d found you on the brink of starvation in the slums. That would have been the ‘right’ thing to do. But ‘righteousness’ doesn’t take very kindly to me. And there’s only one thing people like me do to useless subordinates.”

Okay, this is going to deep Dazai a bit more rather than both Dazai and Oda's relationship. The part about righteousness reminds me of when Chuuya scolded him for shooting the dead body more times than was morally necessary. And he says 'Yeah. That would be the right/normal/ordinary way to think. Of course. Haha.' Dazai has no sense of right or wrong, as Odasaku says. He says to him that he knows he doesn't care about good or bad, and he can never fill that emptiness that he so desperately longs to fill. Dazai isn't like how he is here around Odasaku, because he trusts Odasaku and doesn't need to be intimidating or cold around him. He's allowed to be playful and innocent, and truly try and connect to that child he'd long ago lost and forgotten. And with Ango and Oda both looking out for him, with them two he truly felt like he belonged somewhere, and had people to care for him, despite him not knowing how to handle that or how to cope with it. He doesn't understand why, but he can let himself indulge in it for just a bit. He needs Ango and Oda there for him, and when he loses that, he loses himself. Slowly, he's becoming more and more empty and at a loss with himself for what to do, which is something we don't see from Dazai. Dazai knows everything that is going to happen. He knows everything, and doesn't need to question what he does or what to do next, as he always has his next step planned. However, when Oda dies, we see that facade come crumbling down as for one of the first times, he can't keep his emotions in check and he doesn't know what to do or where to go from here, as the last things he was holding onto in this world have left him, and he's left with nothing but himself and a cavenous hole in his heart where Ango and Oda once sat. That's been ripped from him, and so with his emotions laid bare in front of him as he's forced to confront a distressing situation, he looks to Oda for help. He doesn't know what to do with himself once Oda leaves him, and so he desperately asks Oda to help him. Fuck me, I'm tearing up sorry lmao.

I was in a hospital room. It was clean, ordinary, and as silent as a morgue. Standing firm with his feet apart by the door was a man in a black suit and sunglasses. The moment our eyes met, he silently left, apparently to go get someone.

“Hey, Odasaku. You’re awake now, right? How are you feeling?”

Dazai walked into the room with a cheerful smirk.

Sorry, this is just here because I'd like to point out that Dazai was waiting for him that whole time since he found him, and he had someone guard the door to make sure that nobody would come back for him, I'm guessing. And also he must have told the guy "Ay tell me when he wakes up." And that just really warms my heart and devastates me at the same time <3

Dazai placed a thumb against his lips, then shifted into a thinking position. He didn’t even move an inch for a full minute after that. Only his eyes wavered, following something only he could see. I waited in silence.

Oda's patience with Dazai. Wholesome shit. He fr sat there for a while minute in silence to let Dazai think.

I got out of the bed as I listened. My fingers were still slightly numb, but not enough to bother me during battle.

“Odasaku, don’t tell me you plan on going,” he said as if reprimanding me.

This is one of the moments where we see a more brotherly relationship from the two of them. Dazai is scolding Oda because he's injured and has just been through quite the ordeal, yet he's still standing up and leaaving to go fight and help Dazai's men.

I didn’t answer him; I just opened the door and left. Dazai saw me off without pushing any further. Despite not even exchanging a word, we were thinking the same thing.

Vice versa; Dazai's patience with Oda, and the fact that he doesn't push Odasaku for anything more than he's given him. If Odasaku doesn't want to say anything, Dazai won't pressure him into talking. He won't force him to say anything he doesn't want to. They respect each other, and they understand one another. 'Despite not even exchanging a word, we were thinking the same thing.' They understand each other to such a degree that countless times throughout this arc, they wordlessly communicate with one another, basically read the other's mind or just know what they're thinking, about to say, their plans, etc. It's a very important dynamic that shows their level of trust and their bond.

Now, this is going to be the bit that fucks me up the most, and I will cry whilst writing these bits. Because now we're getting into Oda's death and Dazai's reaction to realising Mori's plans, etc.

“Odasaku!”

I was stopped by a familiar voice the moment I left the restaurant.

“Dazai? What’s wrong?”

Clearly, for Odasaku to ask what was wrong, Dazai must have sounded pretty fucking emotional. Also, Oda, babes, the fuck you mean "what's wrong" as if he's not gonna know?

“Odasaku, I know what you’re thinking, but don’t. Doing that isn’t going to—”

“Isn’t going to bring the kids back?” I asked.

Lost for words, Dazai fell silent. 

Dazai being "lost for words" and "silent" is quite the shock. Dazai always knows what words to say, how to say them, when to say them, etc. He always has some retort or sarcastic reply, and always has to get the last word in. Dazai being at a loss for words shows just how unprecedented this is for him, and how he doesn't know how to cope with it. Once again, he is a lost child, seeking guidance.

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something… Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia?”

I stared at him. We had known each other for a long time, but he’d never even attempted to talk about that.

“I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…” Dazai paused before continuing, “…I would be able to find something—a reason to live.”

I looked at him; he looked back at me.

“I wanted to be a novelist,” I said. “I thought I wouldn’t deserve such a life if I killed someone during a mission. That’s why I never killed anyone. But that’s all in the past. There’s only one thing I want now.”

“Odasaku!”

I began to walk away. Dazai yelled out, but I didn’t turn around.

First of all;

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something… Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia?”

The fact that he asks for forgiveness for his "absurd wording" of don't go. It shows just how much he lacks in understanding others and himself. He thinks that these are the "wrong things" to say, because he's not used to expressing his emotions properly, and he can't articulate how he feels, because he usually feels nothing. He's usually numb and does not give a shit, but here he's completely puzzled and lost because he's feeling too much.

I stared at him. We had known each other for a long time, but he’d never even attempted to talk about that.

Not once. He'd never even brought it up in conversation, or even "attempted" it. He hides himself from the world and those around him in order to guard himself so that he doesn't get hurt or lose the things he cares about, which is why he detaches himself and numbs down everything so that he doesn't care about anyone or anything.

“Odasaku!”

I began to walk away. Dazai yelled out, but I didn’t turn around.

This will fucking kill him. One of my favourite (technically two) scenes in the anime is the parallel's between Dazai reaching out for Oda when he walks away from him, and Oda reaching out for Dazai when he walks away from him, both times one of them is heading towards death and the other is trying to stop them. But they're not close enough, and they're not fast enough. Genuinely, the scenes kill me, because the parallel's are stunning, I won't lie. It's fucking heartbreakingly beautiful.

Dazai strode confidently through the Mafia’s high-rise headquarters downtown at a quick clip, his heels practically scraping off the carpet underfoot. He got on the glass-paneled elevator alone, pressed the button to the top floor, then closed his eyes. When the elevator reached his destination, he opened his eyes again. His gaze was focused on only one thing—the office at the very end of the hallway.

Now, I have a few mini theories about why he closed his eyes, but what I want to focus on is not that. It's his determination and desperation to save Odasaku.

“Boss.” Dazai cut him off. “You know why I’m here, don’t you?”

The fucking Boss of the Port Mafia. Yet, Dazai has no time for games. He has no time for Mori's bullshit antics, he needs to save Odasaku. That is his number one priority right now.

Taken by surprise, Dazai fell silent. Even he felt as if he were walking on fine blades whenever he talked with Ougai. If he made just one little mistake, he could fall off the path. After pondering to himself for a moment, Dazai said, “I need permission to form a small team of executive-level skill users to attack Mimic headquarters and rescue Odasaku.”

He cannot afford to mess this up, because Oda needs him. Once again, Dazai is taken by surprise and sent into silence, which is extremely odd and rare for him to do so. He is clearly nervous about talking to Mori already, on top of the added pressure of Odasaku's life in his hands right now.

Dazai stared back at the boss without breaking eye contact for even a moment. Ougai’s narrowed eyes harbored a tinge of cleverness, as if they could see into his heart. It was the same kind of light that was once in Dazai’s eyes when he looked upon his enemies or allies.

Enemy or ally regardless, Dazai saw everyone the same. He had no time to be concerned with other people, especially as he isn't even concerned for himself. So, again like I said, he numbs himself to these things. He makes it so that he doesn't feel, and so that should an unfortunate situation come to pass, he's not affected by it by harbouring fondness for other people. Which is why it says "was the same kind", not "is the same kind", because Odasaku has changed him. Oda is neither friend nor foe; he's family. He's the most important thing in Dazai's life. He's a sole figure, there for him. A true father figure, someone to raise him properly, unlike Mori. Dazai realises this; as we see here, Dazai is no longer interested in anything anymore. He has grown tired even of the Port Mafia, and he certainly doesn't hold Mori in high regard as he once kind of did.

“Odasaku is currently scouting the enemy headquarters alone,” Dazai said, keeping his emotions in check. “I sent an emergency response team of Mafia members to the area, but it isn’t nearly enough. At this rate, we are going to lose a valuable skill user.”

"Keeping his emotions in check." He's not lowering his guard down in front of Mori. He won't show him his true face. But right now, he's desperate. He wants Odasaku saved, and he will do whatever it takes.

 “Of course, he’s a dear ally of ours, but is he worth sending executive-level men to the front line to save?”

“Yes,” Dazai confidently declared. “Of course he is.”

Ougai fell silent. He looked at Dazai, who looked straight back at him. It was an eloquent silence. The two men understood the other’s state of mind and how they would counter.

Dazai is prepared to risk his life for Oda, and Mori sees this, using it to his advantage. He sees just how much Dazai cares about Odasaku and manipulates the whole thing behind the scenes. And the zero hesitation from Dazai when he says it. "The two understood the other's state of mind and how they would counter." Once again, Mori has raised Dazai to be so much like him that they understand each other and a far more complex level than ordinary people. Also, this line just shows that Mori sees how fragile Dazai's state of mind is at the present time, his desperation to save his friend.

“…Dazai.” It was Ougai who put an end to the wordless debate. “Let me ask you this. I understand your plan, but in all likelihood, Oda doesn’t want help. What do you think about that?”

Dazai tried to answer, but he could not find the words to say. 

Dazai knows Oda best. He knows that it's true, but nothing is going to stop him from trying. Still, he's trying to articulate his words, which he isn't doing too well at.

 Dazai’s eyes were inadvertently locked on the envelope. Suddenly, he caught his breath.

“This envelope—”

Something began to thrash and flicker in the back of Dazai’s mind. It gradually turned into physical shaking, causing his head to go numb.

“I see.” Dazai managed to squeeze out just those two words, his face deathly pale. “So that’s what this is.”

Then he turned on his heel and put his back to Ougai.

“If you’ll excuse me.”

“Where are you going?” Ougai asked.

“To Odasaku.”

Now this is the part that really gets me.

With just one measly glance, Dazai has seen Mori's plan, beginning to end. Which is why he's so eager to leave, because he knows that Mori is planning to let this end with/in Oda's death. And the part that really gets me emotional is 'Something began to thrash and flicker in the back of Dazai’s mind. It gradually turned into physical shaking, causing his head to go numb.' We've never seen such a visceral reaction from Dazai before (with the exception of Oda's death.), with him physically shaking and his mind racing. Man's is fucking trembling, because he knows everything in that moment. And he can't bear it. Dazai, who usually has a tight hold of his emotions, cannot keep his grip on them no more, when it comes to Odasaku. Oda is so important to him, and Dazai realises that soon there is a high chance of him losing that.

Dazai calmly stared at the guns pointed in his direction.

“You still haven’t had any tea, Dazai,” Ougai said. “Come—have a seat.”

Dazai didn’t even budge. A guard in a black suit slipped to his side, then pointed the automatic rifle’s muzzle right at his head.

“Odasaku’s waiting for me.”

“Sit.”

All that is going through his head right now is Odasaku. He can't think of anything else, he doesn't have time for that. He can't afford to think about anything but the plan of action to save him.

“Dazai.” Ougai, who had been listening in silence, cut Dazai off for the first time. “What remarkable inference. There is nothing that needs correcting. I have just one thing I’d like to ask: What’s wrong with that?”

“……”

This is one of our first hints towards Dazai showing a hint of compassion for other people, because he now knows what it's like when you have someone that you love.

"So why are you so angry?”

Dazai didn’t say a word. That was just about the first time he’d ever been unable to articulate his feelings.

“I…”

—“There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.”

—“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

“I just…” His voice came out strained. “I just don’t get it. You were the one who tipped Mimic off about the orphans’ safe house. No one else could’ve found out about the location I chose. You killed those kids to get Odasaku to fight Mimic’s leader because he is the only one who can defeat him.”

“My answer is the same, Dazai. I will do anything for the benefit of the organization. Besides, we are the Port Mafia. We have always brought darkness, violence, and cruelty to this city. Why is that a problem now?”

This scene is also another scene that really gets me fucking devastated. We have never seen Dazai like this. Strained voice, unable to speak, and seeming timid and meek. Here is the child that Oda sees when he looks at Dazai; lost, wandering and alone. He can't say what he feels, he doesn't know how to. He knows nothing but to numb himself from these things to not get hurt. "I just don't get it." Dazai doesn't understand, which is scary for him. He's not used to it, and he doesn't like it. He wants to save Odasaku, and the one time he needs to be clever and think about it, he's unable to, because he doesn't know what's going on.

Dazai knew. He knew Ougai’s calculations, his mentality, and the rationale behind the plan. That was just the kind of organization the Port Mafia was. Logically speaking, Ougai was right, and Dazai was wrong.

“But…”

He turned on his heel, then began walking toward the door. Immediately, Ougai’s guards pointed their guns at him.

“You cannot go, Dazai,” Ougai called out to stop him. “Stay. Or do you have a logical reason for going to him?”

He wants to get to Odasaku. He doesn't care if he betrays Mori's orders; Odasaku comes first. He knows the logic behind it, yet he doesn't care. Morally, Dazai is right, and that's probably a first.

Ougai grinned. “True. However, you wouldn’t gain anything by disobeying me and going to him, either. Am I wrong?”

“That’s the second thing I wanted to say, Boss. There’s nothing in it for me. There’s only one reason why I’m going. Because he is my friend. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

The guards placed their fingers on the triggers. However, Dazai paid them no mind and simply strolled to the door as if he were going for a walk. 

Again, he is not assed. This is the first time Dazai has openly admitted to having a friend, or any kind of relation. Which is what makes it hurt more; because the second he acknowledges it, he loses it. 'There's nothing in it for me.' He's not doing this out of personal gain, like Mori does, he's doing it because he doesn't want to lose somebody important to him.

“Odasaku!”

Dazai rushed into the building and over to the ballroom, passing the myriad of corpses through the corridors along the way. When he burst through the oak doors, he saw his friend lying on the ground.

“Odasaku!”

Despite the chance of there being soldiers lurking, waiting to kill him, or the chance that Gide was still alive and would kill him, he continues to search for Odasaku. And when he finds him, fuck, it's not very pleasant. God, I'm going to cry.

“Dazai…”

Dazai rushed over to Odasaku, then checked his wounds. The bullet had pierced Odasaku’s chest, and a vast pool of blood had collected on the floor. It was clear that the wound was fatal.

“You’re such an idiot, Odasaku. The biggest idiot I know.”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t have to do this. You didn’t have to die.”

“I know.”

Odasaku smirked with that particular satisfaction of accomplishing something worth the cost.

“Dazai… There’s something I want to say.”

This shit hurted.

“Don’t. Stop. We might still be able to save you. No, we will save you. So don’t say such—”

“Listen.” Odasaku wrapped his blood-soaked hand around Dazai’s. “You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live…”

“Yeah, I said that. I did. But what difference does that—?”

“You won’t find it,” Odasaku said in almost a whisper. Dazai stared at him.

Dazai is trying to convince himself that everything will be fine, that they will save Odasaku. He's determined; he won't let him die on him like this. And Dazai doesn't care about anything else but him right now.

“You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”

—“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined—right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well.

For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom of his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:

“Odasaku… What should I do?”

OKAY NOW THIS.

This is one of the most important parts; because Dazai finally found someone who understood him. Nobody has gotten further in understanding him than Odasaku has, and the fact that he realises this just before he dies is what makes his death hit even harder. And the fact that, at this last moment, Dazai seeks guidance from the man in his arms. Because once he's gone, he has nobody left. Nothing. And just at this last moment, Dazai "wanted from from the bottom of his heart to know something". We see Dazai continuously dehumanise himself, not seeing himself as an actual person half the time. He believes that he is heartless, cold, and cruel. Yet, here, we see that Oda has had a strong impact on him; he's made him realise that maybe he does have something there. Also, where it says "almost to the center of his mind". Dazai's mind is just impenetreable, yet Oda has gotten the farthest. That alone is a feat in itself, and Dazai realises just how close they are, and how much Oda really, truly understands him on a personal level.

“Be on the side that saves people,” Odasaku replied. “If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.”

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.”

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction.

It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Whether it was past experience or someone’s advice—Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. Dazai knew that.

That was why he could bring himself to believe it.

“…Okay. I will.”

“‘People live to save themselves. It’s something they realize right before they die,’ huh…? He was…right…” The color in Odasaku’s face gradually disappeared until he was almost completely pale. He smiled. “I could really go for some of that curry…”

With trembling fingers, Odasaku reached for the cigarettes in his pocket before sluggishly placing one in his mouth. By the time he pulled out a match, his fingers were too weak to hold it anymore. Dazai took the match and lit the cigarette for him. Then Odasaku closed his eyes, smoking the cigarette as he smiled, filled to the brim with satisfaction.

The cigarette fell to the ground.

Dropping onto his knees by Odasaku’s side, Dazai looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His tightly shut lips faintly trembled. The smoke from the cigarette rose straight up to the top.

Nobody said a word.

Now, here;

"...but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.”

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.”

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction.

It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Whether it was past experience or someone’s advice—Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. Dazai knew that.

I personally think that this is Oda saying that he tried to save Dazai. And that how far Dazai has come is something that he should be proud of, and something that is "beautiful" about Dazai, something which he really wouldn't ever fucking use to describe himself. And the fact that he trusts Oda's words, he believes them truly, because he loves him and he knows. He fucking knows that those words hold weight, and that Dazai is going to uphold his promise to him. He's going to do whatever it takes to keep Oda alive in whatever way possible after death, and honour his memory, and give him a life that he wanted to have but never got to.

In the middle of a verdant mountain trail atop a hill overlooking Yokohama was a cemetery with a view of the ocean. There were many new graves lined up—among them a small white burial marker without a name.

Dazai stood before the burial marker, dressed in black mourning clothes and holding a bouquet of white flowers.

“……”

He squinted as the strong sea breeze suddenly gusted past. The white flowers fluttered in the wind.

“I’ll leave this photo here.”

He took out a picture and placed it before the burial marker. Frozen in time were the smiles of those three men.

“I really wish you could’ve tried that hard tofu I made…”

Dazai closed his eyes, then stood absolutely still, rooted to the spot.

Now, my guess here is that this is where Dazai went when he abandoned the mission for the PM so suddenly, especially as Akutagawa is off fighting some people.

“I really wish you could’ve tried that hard tofu I made…”

Remembering the little things, the small conversations that they had and treasuring them, despite the tofu being Dazai trying to kill himself again. Some sort of twisted, dark humour maybe. And the fact that he's stood deadly still, unmoving. I honestly think he's afraid. He's afraid that if he moves too much, or shows even a hint of emotion, it will all come fucking storming out in a whirlwind of painful fucking memories, feelings, etc. And he doesn't want that.

Right, I am so fucking sorry about the length of this one. It is currently 3:22 AM and I'm on the verge of tears watching The Dark Era episodes whilst writing this. I started this shit at 20 past 12. I am so fucking sorry.

In conclusion, one of the most important relationships (I think) is that of Odasaku and Dazai, as it gives us much more insight into the both of their characters, and how each of them affect one another and the fact that they're each the only one caring for the other person. Ango, yes, but Oda and Dazai are just kind of on another level of friendship, despite how close they are with Ango.

There are (surprisingly) a lot more things I wanted to say, but I decided against it so that it wouldn't be too long. Well, longer than it already is. If you couldn't tell, I'm quite passionate on this subject.

Anyways, if you've read this far somehow, I hope you have a lovely day/night! <333

[danielfeketewrites]

Red Dwarf: Polymorph

It's Red Dwarf Day! Nice! Maybe I should finally get around to writing the post about the script I've read like a month ago...

Oh, Red Dwarf Day was yesterday? Oh well. Anyway - Polymorph.

About two years ago, during my third year of uni, I went to a charity shop and found some Red Dwarf treasures - namely, Red Dwarf Omnibus (which features the first two books, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers and Better Than Life, as well as the pilot script) for 1.99 and this, Primordial Soup, for 1.49... An absolute bargain!

Primordial Soup collects six Red Dwarf scripts, picked as favourite episodes of the two writers (Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, together forming the gestalt entity "Grant Naylor") at the time:

Season 3: Polymorph + Marooned

Season 4: Dimension Jump + Justice

Season 5: Back to Reality

Season 6: Psirens

I still haven't seen all of Red Dwarf, but Polymorph has to be one of my favourite episodes, if not the favourite episode. In these posts, I try to think of something I've maybe learned from reading the script and such. But here? I think the lesson is - if you already have a TV show (or a storytelling platform of any kind for that matter), just have fun with it! Don't get bogged down by what the series is or should be and do something stupid instead! Are you doing a silly character-based comedy? JUST ADD THE FUCKING THING FROM JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING. Yeah, of course, that tracks.

You've got to admit - sitcoms don't tend to have an actual sense of danger. And yes, by the time we get to the scene with Rimmer's mother, that danger isn't really there any more, but I really think there was some. And there certainly is some again in the ending. (Although, admittedly, I prefer the other ending, as it was the first version of Polymorph I've seen. But yeah, the script ends with a "Lister" - his head spins around while his body is static, then he grins into the camera and walks off... Properly sinister stuff. This episode really is John Carpenter's The Thing as a sitcom.)

Alright, there's one more thing to learn here. It all comes back to something my teacher at uni said about writing sitcom characters - base them around their flaws. And what might those flaws be? Start with seven deadly sins.

While not all of the negative emotions eaten by Polymorph are on this list - some of them definitely are. And you can see how Polymorph was created as a specifically sitcom threat, as by removing "negative emotions", we remove who those characters really are. Polymorph, with a surgical percision, is a mutant designed to eat sitcoms.

It's not just a sci-fi parody, it's genuinely clever. Also, it's a good way to approach an ensemble episode, ie one where the focus isn't on a single member of the cast, the focus is on the whole crew.

So yeah, Polymorph is great. What a surprise.

As I've already mentioned, I read this script from a published collection. Which means it wasn't formatted properly... But that's probably a good thing, as Red Dwarf was very likely written in the older format of a studio script, which is just a pain to read. So, on this occasion, I prefer it that way. We're probably gonna get around to me ranting against some of the formatting in published scripts in the future.

Anyway, I'm gonna end this post with the scene that made me burst out laughing. It's the afforementioned scene with Rimmer's mother. I did remember a lot of the jokes in Polymorph, but not this one and it really caught me off guard in the best possible way. Enjoy!

[vorpalfae]

coffindollie copied your intro post

" copied this copied that "

i've gotten so many messages accusing ppl of "copying" me. or accusing me of "copying" others.

literally just let ppl do why makes them happy. if it looks similar to mine then who cares??? i think its cool that they like similar things as me. thats why i follow her. im not here to dictate what ppl can and can't like or can and can't post on their OWN blog. if it makes her happy then thats fine!!

idk if u genuinely were trying to warn me with good intentions or ur just trying to cause drama, but just know:

i do not care. i do not care what other ppl do online, i do not care what ppl do with their lives or how they choose to dress, portay themselves, etc. i do not care if they have a similar aesthetic or vibes as me. i LOVE meeting ppl who i have stuff in common with💜

i'm going to be 26 years old in a matter of days and i don't have the time, energy or desire to put others down or make them feel bad because they like my aesthetic or like the same aesthetic as me. its just childish. everyone takes inspiration from everyone. its very, very hard to find anything that is 100% unique and hasn't been done before. its 2023. what is the point of accusing ppl and being mean just because they like something that you also like? when u could literally just be friends with them and have a community where u can share ideas and bond over interests. i love @coffindollie and her blog. i love all her edits and her overall aesthetic. i love that we post a lot of the same stuff. i share her posts all the time because i like them.

just be nice to ppl. let them do what they want. the accusations and drama are so unnecessary and ugly and i don't want any part in it. i've had more than my fair share of having to deal with bullies and ppl just wanting to be cruel to others and i don't care about that shit anymore.

unless someone blatantly plagiarized my art, like my crochet, or my writing, or original artwork, then i don't care. and edits don't count as original artwork. because if we are being honest, 99% of the posts and edits ppl make on tumblr are NOT made with their own original photos and artwork. ppl post stuff from pinterest, google, deviant art, web archives, ebay, etc. and i like that. i love that tumblr allows ppl to share things they've found and give others the opportunity to make pretty edits or share them again on their own blogs. if i like something then i post it. nothing i post is with the intention of wanting to be like anybody else. it just means i genuinely LIKE that thing. and im almost positive that anybody doing something similar as me is doing it because they LIKE it. not to "copy" me.

thats just a weird, negative, and creepy way of thinking. ive seen plenty of stuff that looks almost identical to what ive done. and when i was younger and immature, it USED to bother me. but now i know its because i inspire ppl, or i may have introduced someone to something, or because i have good taste in a lot of things! its actually a compliment! if someone does the same thing you do its because what ur doing is obviously appealing to them in some way, or they wouldn't have done it in the first place.

trigger warning for this next part:

sorry for the rant, but im just so over it. im tired of ppl trying to start drama with ppl they don't even know. or trying to bring me into drama. i don't hate anybody or have issues with anyone. it makes me have so much anxiety when ppl are unnecessarily mean. i myself have been a victim of bullying to the point of harming myself or attempting suicide. its not okay. and i still don't understand why ppl are fine with making others feel bad about themselves.

im just here to post what interests me and what makes me happy. im not by any means a gatekeeper of my style or my interests. if u love the same stuff as me then lets be friends💜🖤 i would love to meet u and discuss our interests together 🥰

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

What’s your opinion on the Black, White and Blood stories for Moon Knight?

You ask a difficult question and that is okay. I'm here for it.

So I'm not going to do reviews on anything that came out this year for at least another year. At least not reviews where I break them down and post pictures and things. I may give some commentary or rant a little. I want to avoid anything current for several reasons, but the main reasons are:

Spoilers - Maybe someone has had a heck of a year and I want to give them plenty of time to discover the new thing, find time to enjoy the new thing, and then most importantly: Form their own opinions. It's very important that people have their own thoughts and opinions before they seek out what someone else thinks. It helps to open up discussion and also to open up the possibility of new opinions and well thought out arguments. At least this is my opinion on the matter.

The authors are listening. When it's brand new, the author is likely lurking somewhere looking for discourse or reviews or opinions. And CERTAIN authors have proven to be lurking around Tumblr and causing problems for negative reviews (one of them is an author in this series! I won't name names.)

I don't want to risk posting pictures on something new enough to still possibly have legal percussion. Marvel is owned by the mouse. #1 rule of the internet is don't mess with the mouse. I'm also not going to post any reviews on runs that are still going on, like for MacKay. I don't judge till their run is finished. I love what I've seen so far, but there's a chance he could take a huge shit at the finish line. (Please no. I hope he continues to do well and keeps going for a long time).

SO. Back to your question!

Issue 1:

Anubis Rex - Not a fan. Just wasn't my type of story. Nothing specific about it.

So White. Yet, so Dark - I love when Spider-man gets to be around the other lesser known heroes and I love it more when he's just chatty. This one was fun and I enjoyed it.

The End - This one was interesting. I appreciate a story told backwards once I get what's going on. He'll be fine. He's walked off worse.

Issue 2:

The Empty Tomb - Nope.

A hard day's knight - I wanted to like this one. The art was adorable. It had a good premis. But it fell flat for me. It felt like a jab at something that didn't need a jab. They could have done better.

Blood red glider - I'm a sucker for a well done story about Marc's past. This one was not bad. Didn't know what to think the first time. Gave it time. Now I'm alright with it. It has a certain feel to it that I appreciate.

Issue 3: Wrong turn - Jake Jake Jake Jake! This I love.

No Empty Sky- Not a fan.

Astronuts - Nothing personal. Just not my type of story. I'm sure it was fine.

Issue 4:

Good Morning - Alright. Very Marc.

The Scent of Blood - Why were there so many cult ones in this? I blame Bemis.

Born to be - Moon Knight vs. animal is a long time classic. Especially cats. ….also more cult things.

Over all! Why were there so many cult problems and blood sacrifices and just over all weirdness? I think two or three of them I genuinely enjoyed. The rest were either Meh or just upsetting to me. It was an interesting thing to see Moon Knight get treated a little extra special with many writers getting to try their hand at writing for this special little guy... Perhaps even a sort of Marvel Try out to see if any of them had the chops to actually do a full special or run later on.

But I also feel like some of them didn't know who Moon Knight was and just sort of threw in their own story that could have easily fit in with ANY character and didn't have to necessarily be Moon Knight. In that case, they are missing the point of writing for Moon Knight. Others I felt actually tried and missed the mark by just a tiny bit. And others got it. So not bad for a series of shorts.

What did you guys think of it? Which ones did you like and which ones did you hate?

[conchelle]

Yeah I've been putting it off for a while. Lemme talk about Yorumorukimiri: Girl of Beginning. It's the third and final game of the series.

So. I've tried to write this post a couple times before but I never finished them because they were just too messy. Each time I devolved into some kind of deranged rant so I decided to put off writing until my thoughts were more organized.

To start things off, this game is at its best when it tries to be its own thing.

However, when it tries to be a sequel to the previous games, it really does just fall flat on its face.

So let's start with the good. The dynamics between most of the characters are pretty enjoyable. The game usually looks good. The segments in space are especially vibrant and nice to look at

I also like a lot of the character redesigns here. Characters getting brand new sprites and designs between games isn't too common in these games, but hey, I'm here for it. They fit the setting, and they look nice, too.

So those are my praises for the game.

Now time for the negatives.

To put it bluntly, as the end of ends to the Yorumorukimiri series this game just completely drops the ball.

In all honestly, I don't think the ending itself is bad. It does truly feel like the logical conclusion of what these past games were building up.

But holy shit the way the story goes about getting to this point is just...really bad. The amount of contradictions and retcons and straight up forgotten information between games is insane.

Unlike the previous game, Bond of Tails where the game was more of an alternate universe but still retained some of the same concepts and world rules, this game is a direct sequel to the first Yorumorukimiri and its just messy in that regard...

It's the kind of thing where if you haven't played the first game in a while, you would probably go through this one and think everything that happens makes sense. Until you actually look back and realize...wait- didn't this happen? So why would that happen?

The amount of blatantly outright wrong information in this game isn't something I can look over. It's not small things like a single detail being lost. It's existence of entire characters being forgotten and written out until the game just tells you that they probably died offscreen at some point.

In fact, a lot of things in this game happen offscreen. This game is extremely unfocused when it comes to its plot.

Unlike the previous games, where you would focus on a handful of characters that all have the same goal in mind more or less, this game is constantly hopping from multiple handfuls of characters, all with different goals and motivations, and unfortunately its not done in a way that's clever or interesting.

It just made it so I never really got a good feel for any of the characters or what they were trying accomplish. Like I genuinely couldn't tell you what any of their goals were.

There are two endings in this game. It's all determined from a choice at the very start. This game is about 14 hours, and there are pretty much 0 differences between the two routes. No change in dialogue, nothing. It especially didn't help that playing through the game a second time made me realize a lot of the plot holes and inconsistencies.

Honestly, I'm not really sure how to feel about this game. I don't even hate it or feel it was completely unnecessary. There's a lot of concepts and moments I like. There isn't really much I could firmly say that I absolutely hated, had things just been executed and thought through a little better, I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more.

[strawbbydraws]

It’s all good, I’m happy to have my tags used as a starting point for a good rant!

I share a LOT of the same thoughts! Unfortunately I’m not able to play the game anymore so I only get a superficial view of a lot of things but like. Yeah. This is all it. This is my issue. I can't word this as well or anything, but I have a lot of thoughts. (I apologize if I am wrong about anything, I've had to passively consume the content since I can't play it so there's a chance of me misremembering things)

I WAS a Mara "hater" (I use this term loosely) but the moment she got sanded down to be more… palatable? Easier to like and understand?- I really really missed what she was before. I’m just now starting to have a deep dive into her character and now it just sucks that she was suddenly smoothed out to hurry along the plotline. I didn't like her because she was an abusive conniver but I didn't hate that she was that way, she was written well and she was incredibly interesting. I like her but also am exploding her. Yk. I'm really not a person who has it in me to hate characters (seeing the nonsensical crow hate makes you just. not even want to be like that.) but man the change made my mostly neutral feeling I had to just straight up missing her. I've been out of the loop for awhile so there may have been earlier signs, but in Season of Defiance (low hanging fruit, I know) I really started feeling the weird character shift for her and Crow there, especially when he was mourning his dead friend and she tried to swoop in and give him advice ??? Sure, he snapped at her at first when she tried to tell him vengeance was pointless and dangerous, but his "vengeance" was a nothing burger and ended up being "good" and so that just whole interaction fell flat- so he didn't have to consider what she said or even think about her after it all went down. It was strange to see her trying to comfort this dude that she spent years and years (in)directly traumatizing. He should have been closed off to her of ALL people, but the opposite happened- he opened up and shared something he never mentioned to anybody else- which in itself isn't a bad thing. It would have been interesting if this was her trying to slip back into his life when he was emotionally vulnerable but it obviously was meant to be more genuine in some capacity.

I was confused. She really felt sort of out of place in that season as a whole, like she was being forced in just to get closer with Crow. (Crow's character was definitely watered down at times, and I don't want to be pointing fingers at "the casuals" for every writing decision bc some of their attempts they made at making the guy openly flawed had major issues [see: season of the risen, my opinion is very. complicated on that] and that wasn't anybody's fault. But there was a period where I was afraid they were going to permanently smooth his "negative" traits over like his brashness, hardheadedness, and snappiness bc of how controversial his behavior was to various parts of the community- and they did make him quite subdued in Defiance in general)

It made more sense once Season of the Wish happened, it was like. Oh. You were trying to mash them together for this. To be the bridge into the pale heart. But the thing was that they didn't have to be buddies! They didn't have to be trusting for this to work! In fact, any tension they had would have made this way more interesting. Crow didn't need to trust her completely to know he had to do this, and this could have been where they finally put their heads together for everybody else's betterment.

My idea of Crow vs. Uldren is very complicated and would take a separate post that I likely won't ever make, haha. I accept most interpretations (I particularly like interpretations along the line of yours), save for ones that seem to completely reject Uldren as having any association with him, they are both interconnected enough that Crow literally says "I" and "me" when referring to him at times. A lot of Uldren IS Crow and people need to stop treating Uldren like some evil bogeyman that might pop out of him if it gets bad enough- though that's a half tangent, but relevant in the sense that initially Mara couldn't even separate them. This due in part of the grief she was experiencing, and the fact she wanted to bring Uldren back, and was even told to leave him alone when he was struggling- potentially because of how he'd react or how SHE would act, which once again makes it weird for her to step in during Defiance, even if time had passed, but it's like they just flipped a switch and ignored all the characterization these two had since Season of the Lost to make them work. You can only chalk up so much to character development before it's just straight up rushing and switching things up to make pieces fit later on. I was thinking of the bait as well!! It was treated as a mysterious feat, like he had weird abilities or *something* going on, and then the visions, the Hawkmoon, the Radiant Accipiter, made him seem like he was chosen for something- like he was almost paracausal himself, or at least was given paracausal abilities. Hell, people were theorizing he'd become the next Speaker in the sense of ushering in a new period of communication with the Traveler, and while I didn't think he'd be the next literal Speaker, I held onto that for a long time and was excited to see how this would play out in TFS since he'd literally be INSIDE the Traveler, but Cayde literally ended up being the communing with the traveler, and it makes sense, but Crow should have played a bigger role. I'm sure they had a lot of ideas that they ended up scrapping over the years but genuinely, Crow should have been given the opportunity to be something more than being there to get handed the title of Hunter Vanguard and have that arc tied up into a neat little bow. Imo he should have been weirder (aka there should have been more paracausal things happening to him there and even leading up to that point).

A couple more things you could add that are smaller on scale but still are a little weird: 1. He also was given the psion anti-light tech to look at. I'm not sure if anything was done with that but idk. I thought it'd be used in WQ but I don't think anything came out of it. Honestly, the fact he's so clever with strange tech is so underutilized in general.

2. In lore, there was mention of Ikora setting him up with another hunter and a warlock for a mission or something and nothing came of it. I guess I shouldn't have expected there to be a follow up to it, but it felt like a really weird thing to just throw in there considering he was still very much not accepted into society yet. It felt like something that'd be brought up in a future season or something but,, nope.

3. Wasn't he supposed to go to court or something??? (I was told this so I don't know if it's true or not)

The fact that we have heard basically NOTHING from the awoken who lived through Uldren's genocide is insane to me. We haven't known anything for years, it wasn't even really discussed much post-Forsaken. It would be so fascinating to see something from the perspective of an awoken citizen but is there really nothing Crow ACTUALLY has to answer for beyond what he chooses to address willingly? I don't think it's necessarily fair to do that to him, but do people at least harbor some opinion of his existence at the Reef?

I AM glad he's finally getting some time to interact with Fikrul and there's been some good shit there, even with the goofs and awkward moments in Revenant. I'm hoping there's some genuine harbored guilt and emotional pain that gets to show through... I have my opinions on how they dropped so many signs of various mental issues like depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicidal thoughts, and I don't expect him to be absolutely miserable but he shouldn't just be magically better, yk? I want him to have realistic emotions and feelings due to what he's experienced- something that has been a little lacking at times.

I adore him and I love what good writing he has, but man.. Him and Mara, and honestly Uldren as a result,, have been done dirty with their relationship- Crow and Mara have been watered down in that aspect. Why couldn't it have been strained and weird. Uldren is made to look even worse (the FS statue dialogue between Mara and Uldren still irritates me to no end) and looks less and less like a victim who also made the wrong choices, and more like the flat, obsessive villain many perceive him as- sure, there's still bits of recentish lore that try to keep that nuance, but with the narrative shift Crow and Mara had, it just really makes Uldren's character suffer as well.

Yay! You made it to the end! Have a bunny

So I hope you don't mind my grabbing this and running with it in rant format, because you got my brain going, and I'm having a hard time focusing on my homework anyway (which is kind of bad because it's due by 11:59PM tonight, but I digress...).

There are some things in D2 I can look past, but The Sov Twins isn't one of them. That? The whole *points to Season of the Wish and beyond* thing with them making up and suddenly becoming uwu magic twins where nothing is wrong ever? It still bends me into a pretzel of malcontent. It displeases me greatly. Yes, sure, I am a Certified Mara-hater (tm), but even I can step back and go "hmm, hold up" at how Mara's been run over by a damn steamroller and flattened out. Even taking into account her being shocked into giving a fuck and changing her ways, it just feels like it all happened... too fast? It feels like her character kind of did a full on 180 degree pivot that feels very... not Mara-like. The one thing the siblings have had in common is they're both stubborn bastards at the end of the day. They don't change their mind easily, and I would think old habits would die hard. When you're toxic (and powerful) in the way Mara was, you don't just suddenly change overnight. It takes time, and there will always be the great risk and temptation to return to old ways to get what you want (which, if I recall correctly, was fucking godhood, so...).

Honestly, Mara's terribleness and motivations are what make her otherwise a great foil/"companion" to Savathun. These things, however, ring a bit more hollow with her current characterization of "turning a new leaf" and becoming a "good queen, actually". Mara was great morally grey/potential villain material because she wielded deception much the same way Savathun did -- she uses secrets and lies like finely crafted weapons.

And to that end, that extends to Crow, too. I'm of the "he's still Uldren, but better" camp, so I approach him as a continuation of Uldren and all of the problems that came with that, including his stupid hard-headedness. Heck, we SEE that through the course of his arc. Once he gets an idea in his head, he doesn't let go of it very easily. Both Saladin and Eris got to have the 'pleasure' of trying to pry open that steel trap. So it confuses me that he doubled back so fast on his sister when he showed previously, once he had his memories back, to be extremely leery of her (and rightfully so). In fact, I feel like he got even more reason to be weary as time went on, both indirectly from learning about events and things related to the both of them with newfound clarity he didn't have in his life as Uldren, but also through how she now suddenly expressed a desire in him despite having been cold and the opposite prior to Savathun giving him his memories, as that sort of behavior usually smacks of honeyed words placed in the center of a bear trap.

It's a great pity we didn't get to see their relationship be complicated, and zero respect be paid to Crow's lasting trauma from his relationship with Mara. It's also a pity because the whole point of his arc wasn't just redemption, but I feel it was also self-actualization. He was finally able to become his own man. Shit, even the Memory of Uldren outright states that if you found the right little memory bubble during Season of the Haunted. And yet, with how they (the writers) have chosen to progress his story -- their story -- makes that whole point kind of feel... empty, because he just cozied right back up to Mara in SoW and that was that. It honestly almost felt eerie, because it had that feeling like he was letting the leash start to get put right back on him again. It honestly felt like we're supposed to just pretend that the PTSD and the anxiety and the PROBLEMS Mara caused him are just suddenly... evaporated? All good and gone and resolved?

Yeah I don't buy that, I hate it, and it just feels really... icky. Mara put that poor man through the damn ringer and ultimately got him killed. Characters in-universe even acknowledge that fact, to some degree. (I'd argue even Petra acknowledges it.) So it just... ugh! It bothers me so much that there is zero complexity to their relationship now. No, I don't want Crow to hate Mara (though that would be justified), but I do think it would've been more logical for him to express large amounts of caution towards her. I would've liked to see them struggle to see eye-to-eye and grow -- or not grow, even. Perhaps it'd be the futile attempt at mending a bridge that can't be repaired? A trust that can never truly be re-earned? Alas, it feels like we won't get any of that.

I've had it suggested that Mara is putting up a front, by the way, and that this is all a long-con on her part to get Crow to trust her again, and get everyone on her side for her own nefarious purposes. I would be delightfully shocked if that were the case (I mean I'd feel bad for Crow, but it would be a nice touch of complexity), but I also have zero reason to believe that would happen, with how things have been set up so far. But, now that The Witness is out of the way, who knows?

On Crow's end, I do think there is still some room to explore the complexities of his character. One example is happening right now: how he deals with the very real and very complicated consequence of his life as Uldren -- Fikrul and the Scorn. There is a lot of heavy leaning on the Eliksni side of things this Episode, but I am hoping that we actually get some juicy stuff concerning Crow and Fikrul, too. It's definitely been interesting, so far. But yeah, you're right on the money: there are definitely things that have been mentioned and then just left hanging. There are two things I can think of right off the bat:

A minor item, but I still think back to Season of the Hunt and how Crow was able to pull an Eris and manipulate Balefire and Hive magic to create the Lures we used to hunt Wrathborn. Ghost comments on this being very shocking and unusual, and does ask outright how Crow does it, to which, of course, we get a coy non-answer from our favorite Hunter. (I still maintain he was flirting with us that entire fucking season...) And I agree with Ghost -- it's weird and suspect. With Eris, we're not surprised because she's been studying Hive Stuff for a long time. Homegirl made studying those bastards her whole identity. So it's no surprise when she whips out Hive Stuff like the boss she is. Crow on the other hand? A brand new Lightbearer? Something is fishy. We know Uldren was pretty fucking smart and good at making stuff (see: the drone spy system he apparently had deployed around the Sol System?), so it may be a bit of that manifesting in him at the time, but it's still a very intriguing and odd thread that has yet to be picked back up. But, clearly, there's something 'special' about Crow/Uldren.

A bigger item playing on the 'clearly there's something special about him' line: I genuinely thought he'd have a MUCH bigger role to play in TFS given just how much air time he's been given, both in the literal sense (he's been the center or near-center of so many seasons and arcs) and in the 'in-universe' sense. To expand on the latter: other than us, the Main Character, Crow is unique in his treatment from The Traveler. He's gotten visions, which is established to be rare in this universe, as I believe only The Young Wolf and Ikora at the time had gotten that treatment (and then later, add Micah to the list). Not even the Speaker really fully got that privilege, at least not without his mask. He's been given a paracausal ship. He got given a paracausal gun. Outside of that, there's him even being able to even minutely remember things BEFORE Savathun restored his memories (remember, he actually realized he had some recognition of The Dreaming City and how to get around). And then he gets to be potentially the only Guardian to get to "fully remembers his past life" status thanks to Savathun. I believe in the case of Ana and Micah both, they only know what was recorded for them to find. I could be wrong, but still. My point is that Crow has been given a lot of unique opportunities, abilities, things within the universe of Destiny 2 that felt like they were intentionally building him up for something, and I don't mean 'building him up to be Hunter Vanguard'. Sure, that's a big thing, but in the grand scheme... it's just a title. I mean building up to have some sort of major impact. So when we got to SoW and TFS, it felt very... underwhelming for him to simply be 1) one-half of a bridge into The Pale Heart and 2) be The Guy That Wished Cayde Back.

It just feels like there's been some very bizarrely abandoned threads that don't look like they're going to be picked back up, and it's disappointing.

This is all also without touching on exploring his relationship with The Reef and everything complicated with that, because the question becomes: is he still Prince of The Awoken? How do the Reefborn feel about this after he terrorized them for literally years and basically committed genocide against his own people? Does he still have access to Uldren's spy network? There are a lot of little questions that I don't think we'll ever get an answer to.

I still love his character (although I would love more sass), but I still also lament that, yeah, true to that reblog (that these tags are from), he could be a very deep character if they took the time. And before anyone says "you're expecting nuance and complexity in a looter-shooter": *motions to Eris* *motions to Osiris* *motions to Micah* *motions to the crazy complexity of the Osmium Dynasty siblings*

Destiny 2 has the ability to handle complexity and nuance. I can accept that I won't ever fully get stuff going down to the nitty-gritty, but I do wish we got just... a little bit more.

[tantancantdoshit]

Rant time: 

About Georges streams and the very loud and sometimes a bit annoying bits and dynamic from Karl, Quackity, Sapnap and a bit Dream.

The thing is that yes. This is their dynamic. It is how they are most of the times. And George is most likely okay with it because we already know that this man has the kind of patience I could never imagine having.

But from the point of the viewer it does get a bit annoying. For example last stream (Georges “speedrunner” stream):

At the beginning George just wanted to explain the game because he has never played it on stream and he wants the viewers (understandably) to understand how the game works in case they never heard of it. Just so we can actually enjoy watching it. Which is very considerate and just something a streamer should do. But his friends didn’t let him talk or explain and just talked over him. They just kinda ignored the whole thing about “yeah u idiot George is streaming rn you could maybe respect that”. And then the bit with the copywrited music. Karl started it and it was a bit funny in the beginning but they just continued doing it. Even after George genuinely told them that the bit is not funny and you could see how he got nervoud because yes, his channel can get taken down because of that (thats what he says at least). And a good thing is that Karl did stop after a bit when George said sth but Sapnap just didn’t care and idk. Its their dynamic but sometimes its just not funny. And because Sapnap didn’t stop his other friends continued being a tiny bit annyoing as well.

Another thing I noticed how Sapnap tried to do the same bit in Karls stream afterwards. But instead of playing a whole lot of the song (like he did in Georges stream) he played less than a few seconds and paused it the whole time. And then he just stopped and Karl didn’t even have to say anything. I think this is mostly because George and Sapnaps dynamic is a lot different and we shouldn’t read too much into it. But idk it annoyed me a bit.

The stream was still great I loved it soo much and the game was so funny and it’s probably one of my favourite streams. george looked so happy and he was so good and they all had a lot of fun. You could tell.

It’s just that I sometimes miss the small quiet moments where it’s a bit more relaxed and seems more organized. I mean we all can tell that George prepares his streams and knows what he wants to do just so it doesn’t evolve into chaos and scuffed whatever. But no matter how organized his stream is beforehand, when everybody just shouts and ignores him (even though its his stream and it gets awkward) it looks like nobody knows what theyre doing.

For example there have been a few moments where George tried to explain the others the game just so they can actually enjoy it but they talked over him and said they dont care. And later on when he’s much better than them because he actually knows the game they scream and say he never taught them how to do this. (Which is funny for a bit but then at least let him explain it after you complained instead of complaining more)

Or there was a moment where George wanted to talk abt how he enjoyed the game with his uni mates but everyone just shouted “We dont care! Start the game”. But nooo. I do care. He didn’t try to talk to you he wanted to talk to the chat and explain why he wanted to play this game. I enjoyed the last few minutes where he just deafened honestly.... He talked to us and it was a lot of fun haha. I want more chill streammmmmssssssss

AND I WANT TO SEE HIM STREAM WITH PEOPLE BESIDES THE FEREAL BOYS. It would be interesting

I’d love to here other opinions. If u agree or disagree

[joleneghoul]

Hello!! For that ask game thing that you recently reblogged, I would love to hear your opinions on everyone's dear friend Booster Gold! :)

YAY yes i can do Booster of course. I've loved Booster for over 7 years now I'm sure I have a few things to say hehe. This ones also long so here we go.

– Overall opinion of them I think Booster is a genuinely amazing character who just happens to be placed in the hands of incompetent unsure writers all the time. But for the sake of things I'm not going to rant about writers right now but know a lot of my opinions and love for Booster comes from accidental themes thrown in by writers or stuff that can be taken and made better. A lot of my love for Booster also comes from the situation I was in when I first started reading his comics (around after I read Ted's BB comics bc I was a Ted fan first and the very same goes for Ted too) so i'm very aware a lot of my perceptions are based in that. I believe that Booster's backstory is really interesting and hits hard. Booster gold volume 1 can easily be read as someone who is closeted trying to find a place in a world where they do not fit in (Now please take in account that this is not the intention of the writing from the author and was a total accident writing wise). I wish more respect would be put into his backstory especially currently I think in the right hands it can be transformed into something really meaningful...but anyways.

– Gender/sexuality headcanons I am a Trans Nonbinary Gay Booster believer. I think booster goes by any pronouns but especially he/him and she/her. I also believe he knew this when he lived in the 25th century way before he went back in time, but had to deal with being in the closet AFTER time traveling, not before.

– Favorite moment in canon SHEESH…um…A LOT OF THINGS are my favorite moment. for the sake of everyone I wont go through every comic he's in and post my favorite moment but in booster gold volume 1 I love every scene where it touches on that "outsider" aspect of his character and his struggle with it.

Another favorite (ICONIC) moment I love is the reveal that he is Supernova and FAKED his death in 52 #37 to fool Mr Mind/Skeets. It is genuinely such a good moment in my opinion and shows that he's actually very cunning and capable and also sets the stage for what his strengths are as a time master. It takes the whole idea that "lies and deception" don't have to be negative but can be a useful tool in heroism (in a way directly challenging Boosters past and his perceptions of himself because of that past).

Oh I also love his arc in extreme justice before he wishes his disability away. – Favorite moment in a fanwork It is so difficult to decide this FOR ME because I care so much about a lot of my mutuals interpretations of Booster to pick one! I really enjoy seeing how other people perceive Booster as a serious genuine character. Like In @slettlune's works (sorry for at-ing you again lol), or @queenretcon's art or @bigturtl or @starringbeetle or nowadays @mattdcblog or my bf's old art @clickbaitcowboy. all of them have inspired and shaped the way I see Booster so I don't think I can pick just one favorite moment or piece.

– Favorite line, in canon or otherwise ANY line from volume 1 where Booster doesn't understand phrases or sayings is my favorite.

– Characters I love seeing them interact with Um..well I'd be a liar if I didn't say Ted Kord- but there is a lot of newer stuff in comics that I feel falls flat with them and I think that comes from making them one note outside of each other and that both of them BENEFIT from having lives outside of each other in canon.

NOW...FIRE...is one of my FAVORITE Booster friendships! I need to see more of them I feel like too often its brushed aside that Fire was one of Boosters besties too! Or even just the fact Booster in the 80s-90s had a lot of friends who were women without being romantic with them which is honestly unique and cool. NOW.. I understand narrative wise (post toras death and everything that was done wrong to Bea) why they all fall out of being friends. I just miss it.

– Last thing before sleeping headcanons & Sleeping habits headcanons

I honestly don't have any strong opinions about this at all other than I think that Booster would be the type of person to need white noise or something to sleep. Uhhh I think he would take up the whole bed no matter what though not even just because he's 6'5 but because he sleeps like a star fish.

– First thing after waking up headcanons Unfortunately he is the only morning person in existence I think.

– Favorite locations headcanon

AGAIN...he's a time traveler...he's a huge cowboy fan so I'm sure for that reason he loves being in the wild west era even though in reality it sucked but this is comics ig.

Other than that I think he loves going to the beach, not just like the ocean front but just like towns near the beach too, ocean wind...beach vibes, maybe he should try surfing.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Sorry but what exactly is up with the bad batch arc? I've heard people talk about the issues with echo's white skin but I haven't heard that many bad things about the arc itself? (ik you said you don't want to be negative on your blog so I would absolutely understand if you didn't answer this ask)

Oooooooooooh boy. Well I just had a long, long, LONG rant about it with someone, but I guess I’ve got an excuse to put all of my points onto a post and talk about it publicly now that I got an ask x) I’ll keep it under the cut so I don’t throw my salt in people’s face. I really don’t want to upset people who love that arc - it has redeeming qualities, but overall it pisses me off so much for so many reasons. So here:

The first issue is obviously two members of the Bad Batch (minus Echo) being being just about the furthest thing from maori no matter how much you're willing to stretch it. 

Like... yeah, nah. I wouldn’t even accept Crosshair and Tech (grey haired guy and goggles guy) as Jango’s natural biological sons, nevermind as his clones. 

The problem is that their different appearances are justified by them being described simply as clones with desirable mutations (i.e superpowers). But why the hell did the creators have to change their appearances for that to be a thing? How does that correlate? Sure, the concept of clones with different faces is interesting, except... no, no it’s not, and I’m gonna rant about it in a few secs. But basically it's like they thought giving them different faces would be a good substitute for having different personalities (another thing I’ll come back to). If they really wanted to have buff clones with super eyesight or whatnot they could have just done that, without making them lose what little melanin the lighting of the show had allowed the other Clones to keep. 

But the gigantic problem is... showing that the "regular" clones have VERY distinct identities despite their identical faces has been one of the themes of the show from episode 1. Literally, the first episode of TCW has Yoda taking time out of a mission with galactic stakes to tell the three clones he’s with (who tell him they’re all the same because they have the same faces) that they’re wrong, and that they’re very different in the Force, that their appearance doesn’t matter, that they’re all equally unique and important, and he lists all of their individual skills, strengths and weaknesses. 

And it’s not just me being bothered by that, here’s a post by @cacodaemonia​ saying the same thing. 

Introducing the Bad Batch as "unique" clones who are "different" and "not like their brothers" because they have different faces and skills completely breaks that theme of the show!! Because the entire point of the Clones in TCW is that their faces don't matter, they ARE unique! 

(Plus the Bad Batch’s character designs are so cliche and uninspired it’s just laughable to try and justify bleaching their freaking skin for the sake of visual diversity. 

This took like 10 seconds. I found the first guy by literally googling “soldier movies,” and the other two are Team Fortress characters that look a LOT like Wrecker and Crosshair. One is “Heavy” and one is “Sniper” lmao.

And behold:

The above picture is a Team Fortress reference that I found just by looking up “bad batch clone wars,” so I’m not the only person who sees it.) 

And the batchers don't even have personalities to justify calling them unique! They have no character traits beyond the most cliché american soldier tropes ever. We have a token loner sniper, a token "smart tech guy" who knows everything from xenoanthropology to biology to Separatist computers to sound waves to encryption, a token Badass Brooding Leader and a token “dumb muscle guy.”

I dare anyone to find more about their personalities than this: - Crosshair is the perpetually grumpy sniper who looks down on "regs,” - Wrecker likes to blow up stuff and doesn't like heights, - Hunter is the leader and is friends with Cody, - Tech is smart doesn't trust Echo. 

That’s it, that’s literally it. Four episodes about them and that's all we get. These character tropes are literally the least inventive ever. FFS, Hunter even has a freaking KNIFE! Not a vibroblade, mind you, like in kriffing Star Wars. A knife. Against metal droids. Why. They couldn’t make this more of an american-war-movies cliché fest if they tried. (And sure, he can feel electromagnetic waves so maybe it does make sense for him not to carry a vibroblade and maybe this is nitpicking, but he looks like a ripoff of a Predator character and it pisses me off).

Another thing is that when you introduce characters you have to make them likable - and them despising the normal Clones is a terrible way to do that! And they don't even grow from that because at the end of the 4 episodes arc they just see Rex as not bad "for a reg" and they see Echo as no longer a reg, and both of these things are infuriating! 

The worst thing imo is that Echo then becomes part of them (and irreparably loses his melanin in the process, uuuuuuuuugh) when there is nothing to justify this. 

The dialogue goes like this: 

ECHO: You coming? TECH: Not really our thing. CROSSHAIR: Accolades. WRECKER: Yeah, we're just in it for the thrill. Yo! HUNTER: You sure it's your thing? ECHO: What do you mean? HUNTER: Your path is different. Like ours. If you ever feel like you don't fit in with them, well, find us. (they leave) REX: Those are some of the finest troopers I've ever fought alongside. Echo. You and I go way back. If that's where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong.

Echo doesn't feel like he belongs anymore, okay, but why would he feel like he belongs with the assholes who up to the last five minutes of the mission thought he was probably a traitor, and also verbally expressed that he was not worth saving?? In all of the arc, Echo himself never voices that he feels he’s not ‘like the other Clones’ anymore and that he feels it’s a problem. His relationship with Rex immediately picks up where they left things off - the first thing he does upon being lucid again for the first in over a year is cracking a joke for Rex’s benefit. 

Why would Echo feel like he doesn’t belong in the 501st anymore, when we don't even see him interacting with anyone from his past life except for Rex and Anakin (who are both extremely very supportive of him)?? If there had been one scene of a “regular” Clone (ugh) looking at him with horror and disgust or something, or just Kix and Jesse cracking jokes with Echo awkwardly standing by the side not getting it, I could forgive the show trying to make it feel like he has an identity crisis, but this was so shallow!

The only thing that makes Echo and the Bad Batch’s experiences similar is that they *look* different. It’s so against the themes of the Clones I’m seething just from thinking about it. And what the hell? Echo ALREADY didn’t fit in. That was the WHOLE POINT of Domino Squad. They didn’t fit in because they thought they were better than anyone else because they had trouble getting along with their brothers, so obviously it had to be their brothers’ fault (ahem, Bad Batch?). And you know what happened? Domino Squad OVERCAME that. And Echo and Fives still didn’t “fit in” because their personalities were unique and creative, and they became ARC Troopers because Cody, Rex and the Jedi VALUED THEM FOR PRECISELY THAT. Echo having new and unique skills and a modified appearance is the most bs justification for him feeling like he doesn’t belong!! 

And that brings me to my biggest issue: Rex telling Echo the bad batch are some of the best troopers he's ever met. I'm sorry, based on WHAT? What Rex values above everything is loyalty and brotherhood, and the Bad Batch DOESN'T DISPLAY ANY OF THAT. We never see them even expressing concern for each other! Wrecker treats saving Cody’s life like a trivial issue, because it’s just ‘sO eAsY’ for him, and beyond that we never see them supporting each other or genuinely expressing affection for each other beyond boasting about each other’s skills... 

Sure they can destroy a lot of droids, but they're dismissive of Rex's brothers, and the entire Umbara arc and this arc showed what he thought of that. They keep saying things like "not bad for a reg,” don't show any trust in Rex's skills or experience (even though they can't have been fighting in the war for more than a year and a half when he’s been there from the beginning, and he outranks all of them), they are essentially guerilla fighters which has only minimal value in a galactic war, and they never grow beyond their views of what regs are, and can and can’t do. 

None of that should make them good troopers in Rex's book. Going back to Echo not fitting in, remember who taught the Domino Squad the importance of seeing all of your brothers as important and equally valuable? Shaak Ti, true, but more importantly? 99! The guy the Bad Batch are named after. He did have value and was important and was no less of a trooper than his brothers, even though his mutations made him LESS powerful, not more. (And btw, just from a writing standpoint, the batchers don’t have any weaknesses, which is shit.) Cody and Rex mourned 99 as a true soldier even though it wasn’t his sacrifice that brought them victory (which would have implied that he had value as a soldier and a brother because he saved them, as opposed to him having that value intrinsically), because that’s what a fine trooper is to them. A BROTHER first a foremost, someone altruistic, brave and loyal. The Bad Batch distort the meaning of 99's character with their behavior. They’re not altruistic, their bravery is mitigated by the fact that they’re freaking invincible, so of course they take risks (again, see Wrecker saving Cody without a care because it’s easy to him, as opposed to Rex being ready to run into a burning ship about to explode because his brother is in there, and having to be physically dragged away). The Bad Batch denigrate their brothers for being less skilled, thinking their own abilities make them unique somehow, when 99 could barely fight and was still the one who taught Hevy about being a good soldier. 

And again the batchers don't grow from that. Which is all the more frustrating because the original ending didn’t have Echo joining them, from what I remember of the unfinished episodes, and the arc actually ended with them receiving their medals in front of regular troopers who cheer for them, as opposed to them smugly ostracizing themselves and dismissing the ceremony as trivial and meaningless. (original ending vs s7 ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab1eCfzKamw) 

It’s so annoying. Do you know what characters never had an entire arc dedicated to them and still have far more personality and more interesting designs and more symbolic weight?? 

Jesse, for starters. Kix. Dogma. Cut. Slick. Keeli. Ponds. Rys, Jek and Thire. Commander Doom. Commander Fox. Wolffe. Hevy. Hardcase. 

Cody was a more interesting character just in his RotS appearances. 

Waxer and Boil had one episode about them and then only two cameos plus Waxer’s death, and they’re still some of the most memorable, beloved Clones of the whole show. And Boil was grouchy and prejudiced like Crosshair, but he has so much growth that we could make a whole thread about it. 

I'd say the last problem with the Bad Batch is that it has cash grabbing money hungry vibes. Different faces are more marketable, cliché personalities are more toy-friendly, and it's basically a big ad for the Bad Batch series. And they throw Echo in the Batch at the end for bs reasons (again, it wasn’t in the original ep from what I remember) and they tease Cody in the show to make sure fans will still watch even if they notice the lack of soul. And less melanin sells more at Disney apparently. 

So that’s my whole pissed rant. 

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[erotomania-if]

I am so sorry this is going to sound so inarticulate and preachy and rant-y because English is not my first language and I am currently writing this in a fit of passion after reading that last ask, as well stalking your blog for the past day or so (which I am very sorry for, by the way) and just coming across all the people who seem to not understand how stories work when all you have been doing is just... Telling us about a story you wish to write with an interesting conflict?? And doing your best to create a complex character with complex inner thoughts and feelings??

Judging people based on the stories they write or enjoy that contain conflict that is normally considered wrong in real life makes me laugh so hard because that just makes me wonder, do you genuinely think that way for every person who has ever made up a story ever?? Because that would mean that, in real life, a whole lot of writers are actually cheaters and criminals and bigots and whatnot 💀

What makes most stories, well, stories, is the issues that arise throughout the plot that may or may not have been caused by the characters' actions, mindsets, and circumstances—and most of all, how they work around those things. What I mean to say is, the stories a person tells or enjoys do not wholly, fairly, and accurately define their experiences, morals, and beliefs—but even in real life, morality isn't simply black and white.

And for some rando to come to your inbox, accusing you of things and speculating about your life, when all you are doing is creating something for you and for other people to enjoy, and when they know close to nothing about you? I apologize but I cannot stand by and not say anything 😊

Also, I have to say—I don't believe I have ever seen you get triggered on any of your posts. You've handled every ask you've answered so far with a nearly incomprehensible amount of grace and patience and I truly, utterly respect you for that. That is all, and I hope you have a wonderful day/evening! <3

So yesterday was a whole thing, huh? lol

Ok so sometimes it's kinda hard to know what to post and what to ignore when it comes to criticism/praise and counter-criticism/praise cos this shit is a minefield lol but I responded to the negative ones so I just wanted to acknowledge the less than negative ones as well because y'all took the time to write them and just ignoring them feels wrong so I just wanted to put them all in one post and just say I appreciate everyone who's taken the time to send me a well-meaning thought out, even if critical, response to anything I've said or done!

[mariaiscrafting]

Cishet dnf stans are without fail just super gross about it. I've cultivated my tumblr sphere to be so queer that I genuinely forgot how terrible cishets are about mlm ships they deem "attractive". Cishets making homophobic "jokes"........bro that's just homophobia.

I feel like that's so much easier on Tumblr anyways since Tumblr is so disproportionately queer. I can actually stand to follow Dream stans (*cough* looking at you Angel *cough*), George pfps, and some DNFers here because they're mostly queer. Probably the main reason I stopped using Twitter was actually because of all the cishet DNF shippers. I think there's just something about being queer that makes you more understanding of comp het, queer fetishization, being treated as Other, being psychoanalyzed like a lab specimen, and being potentially outed. Subsequently, queer shippers are simply less likely to take DNF shipping a step too far...

There are lots of ways in which cishet shippers take it a step too far. One common thing is fetishization. Contrary to popular-anti belief, not every shipper is fetishizing mlm relationships. But a lot of them are. Fetishization is contingent on a foundational belief that one is consuming media about a certain romantic/sexual dynamic because they find it attractive. To fetishize is to treat a ship as Other, as lesser or more or weirder or "special" or whatever. If one wouldn't treat a het relationship the same way as they do the mlm relationship they're theorizing about, gushing about, drawing about, writing about, etc., then one should reexamine the reasons one is even shipping them, because the likely answer is fetishizing reasons. Another way shippers take it too far is their creepy fascination with all the intricacies of DNF. Like, the analysis of every voice inflection, every mention of the other, every moment they're together, every smile and laugh and facial expression. It's so beyond creepy. This isn't how you treat real life humans. This isn't how you treat people you respect. This is how you treat fictional characters, or toys, or specimens you're curious about. It's absurd.

But those are all things I've talked about a hundred times on this blog. I'm glad I have been able to, too, because it seems so impossible to get through to Twitter DNFers compared to Tumblr DNFers, partially because of the character limit and partially because of what mcyttwt stan culture is like (stubborn, hardheaded, overly protective, significantly more obsessive, etc).

Regarding homophobic jokes... I think a lot of cishet shippers think they can't be homophobic if they are shipping an mlm pairing. Because if you're so open to gay people that you ship them, how could you possibly be homophobic? Isn't that the opposite of homophobia? To that, I respond the same way I respond to cishet men who claim they're not lesbophobic because they like lesbian porn and white people who claim they're not racist because they have black friends and men who claim they're not misogynistic because they love their daughters or wives; bigotry is not solely enacted upon with explicit hatred. Bigotry can manifest itself in many ways, and in the 21st Century, most often that is in subtle ways that implicate one's own view of minorities/oppressed groups as distinctly "Other." You can have a fascination, love, or adoration for an oppressed group, and still be bigoted against them. Love /=/ the inability to be racist, homophobic, sexist, etc. A failure to accept criticism and recognize one's own propensity for homophobia will only lead to making the same homophobic remarks/jokes, failing to eradicate one's own subconscious beliefs that led to one's homophobia (e.g., comp het), and stagnation in one's personal growth.

And yes, if you can’t understand how treating DNF like this obsession, this other-than-human idealized fasion, is homophobic, then you are one of these subtlely bigoted people, and I am begging you to pause, step back, and self-reflect, please.

As always, the usual disclaimers apply. First, not all cishet DNF shippers cross a line in their shipping. If you read this and you don't know if this applies to you, it's important for you to pause and reflect on your manner of shipping. Recognizing when we do wrong is the first step in eradicating homophobia and fetishization. Second of all, for those who don't know what prompted this ask, here is a link to the half-joke post of mine from a few hours ago. Third of all, I am never an expert on any of the discourse I engage in. I'm simply providing my opinion. Fourth of all, this is not meant to be hateful. Yes, I come from a place of extreme frustration and exhaustion towards cishet shippers, but I still think there is capability for growth within the mlm shipping community. I am a DNFer, just a queer one; I read DNF fics, I love DNF art, and I watch DNF compilations. I, too, gush whenever Dream and George act fond of each other. I'm not an anti; I just like to criticize the communities I am a part of because I love the spaces they provide for me and want them to grow and improve through self-reflection and critical analysis. Positive change always starts from within.

Anyways, if you're interested in my other random rants about related issues: here is one of my original takes on DNFers crossing lines they shouldn't and dehumanizing DNF for their own enjoyment, here is a more general take of mine about reading into DNF dynamics with empathy, here is my thing with fetishization (thank you Angel for the input), and here is a long-ass post with queer perspectives on DNF shipping (thank you Xen for the input).

As always, reminder to blacklist /neg or #discourse if you don’t want to see posts like this from me. Take care of yourselves <3

[princess-from-another-galaxy]

hiii, i really don’t know who to go to for expressing on how i feel about lucas's scandal on here & since i saw you first on here about his scandal, i really hope you don’t mind reading on me ranting/expressing! i would appreciate it sm plsss <3

ok well firstly, i do wanna say that at first it was so hard to believe about all of these rumors, accusations or whatnot about lucas - even tho he & sm apologized about it which had me thinking that this might be true sadly :( but tbh i am having so many mixed feelings on this - confused, hurt, disappointed, sad, betrayed & many more i can't express enough!! :( </3

i've been a lumi for quite awhile now & stan him sm & i genuinely do like, adore & admire him due to his caring nature he gives to us lumis & others. lucas really do seem like a genuine person - just by interacting with him on bubble (lysn) & watching his videos & everything. he's always the type to show & give love to others & interacted with us fans so genuinely & truly. his character is just so lovely imo & after hearing his scandal, i just thought how? how is this true? that boy wouldn't even hurt a bug to be doing this? he doesn't seem like the type who would manipulate & use someone for the sake of his own pleasure. the reason i'm saying this is bc the way he interact with fans & his members, staffs etc. & their honest thoughts/opinions on him, it was all good thoughts/opinions of him. nothing negative or bad.... :/

also i do want to add & say that i do not know lucas personally nor know how he is as a person but based on my own observations from what i said above, it's really hard to even believe that lucas, who is such a soft & caring guy, would do all this to the girls :( like whuut..?

like half of me is telling me this may be true and the other half of me is saying no, this might also be fake & even if he really did do this, there has to be a reason behind it all right!? i'm really the type to believe that anyone who chooses to do such things has to have a valid reason regardless on how bad or good of a person they are. ig i'm the type to not jump into conclusions or assume right away or believe anything so easily. i always want to hear from the person directly out first & then analyze the whole situation after before coming to a final conclusion that oh, whatever they're just an a**hole. forget it but what else am i to say.. lucas apologized publicly so.. *cries*

we never really know what happened behind closed doors between lucas & those girls & knowing how strict the kpop industry is, we don’t know what orders or whatnot that kpop idols have to go thru whenever a scandal comes up

anyways, about everything.. i am truly heartbroken & devastated. also, why do i have a feeling that maybe lucas was going thru a hard time at the time & probably felt overwhelmed by everything & needed someone to comfort him?? idk for sure but let me wear his shoes..... the fact that he chose to be with these girls, who use to be a fan of him from what the scandal says, maybe he trusted them at first then things escalated into something more which probably made them all uncomfortable? IDK i do not want to come off as if i was there & knew what happened fr like I AM JUST TRYING TO PUT MYSELF IN HIS SHOES (don't come @ me pls) ;(

but then again, it's reality & that maybe all of this could be true unless they do gather more evidence & investigate further more that it's not. (which idk if it will happen..) i really do feel bad & sad for him... c-fans are wanting him out of NCT/WAYV & tbh it will never be the same without him if he does get out or leave.. it hurts to see these comments/posts that he does not belong in the group & that he deserve to rot & calling him names etc. it's painful to read it honestly.. pls stop

lastly, whatever it is that lucas is going thru rn, i hope he comes out of this dark place & take all his past experiences/mistakes & learn from it to better himself toward his future. i wish for all the good things to come to him bc i truly believe in him that he will have a better & brighter future & life ahead waiting for him. hate me or whatnot & call me stupid or delusional but i forgive lucas & his past experiences. he was just young at the time, probably lost & confused & didn't know how to control himself. i will continue to stan/support him regardless of his past that just surfaced just now. he deserves a second chance & i believe in giving ppl second chances no matter what <3 spread love, not hate. life is short to hold onto past grudges so i rather forgive & move on & forward. with love, i wish him (& ofc everyone else reading this) a stable & happy life ahead. things probably suck now but they really do get better over time. 💞

ok, that's all. thnx for reading! ❤❤❤ (brb crying, i am getting emotional all of a sudden AHHHH) :'(

Bestie, your message was so long I thought you were the one that was going to come at me lol 😅

I feel everything you said!! It's true that we don't know him, but we do have critical thinking skills, and everything the girls (and now a guy!) have been saying sound clearly fake (and many have been proven to be fake), so we have the right to be skeptical.

And personally unless an investigation proves them to be true, I don't really believe them.

Idk if you've seen the new rumor of a man claiming to be Lucas ex (saying he's bisexual and that Lucas was "proud to have lost his virginity at 13"), saying that he believes the girls. This entire story keeps becoming more and more messy, like a bad season of a tv show, and I'm not really buying any of it....

(sidenote: if he really is bisexual, I'll be really proud of him and super supportive, but if it's true it makes me so sad that he was outed like that)

Don't cry!! I'm here if you need anything!! Stay strong!! And if you need stay off the internet for your mental healths sake 💜💜

[melo-efcarist]

// dsmp fandom neg , rants , cussing , all caps in one sentence

im usually a really positive account but i really need to blow off some steam rn, sorry. so now i will be listing off things that annoy me to death in this fandom. sorry guys, just skip this post if you're not interested.

1) Double Standards

Jesus Fucking Christ, both of the characters did the same thing and yet you call the other worse for that thing. Both characters did the same thing and yet you call the other better for doing the same thing. Stop it. I am so incredibly annoyed.

2) The Polarization

This isn't a C!Dream apologist vs C!Sam apologist, nor is it a C!Tubbo apologist vs C!Techno apologist. Not everything has to be a war all the time. Calm tf down. You can be an apologist for many characters even if they are enemies in the lore.

3) Black and White Mentality/Morality

Some of you genuinely do not fucking know what morally gray means. ALL of the characters are morally gray. They do good shit, they do bad shit. They believe in good shit, believe in bad shit. Why are y'all treating morally gray as if it meant "good" or something? Some shades are lighter than others, sure, but bro. Come on. Morally gray is morally gray. I can't with y'all.

Not only that but when someone critiques your fave, you immediately jump to thinking they're calling that character evil. Like, bitch, no. This fandom will be the death of me istg.

4) No Proper Fandom Etiquette

JESUS CHRIST JUST VAGUEPOST INSTEAD OF REBLOGGING IT'S NOT THAT HARD. If you're on twt then subtweet instead of qrting them. Stop going into people's askboxes/curiouscats/dms and say stuff you know they won't appreciate.

I won't even get started how some of y'all treat c!dream introjects like shit. Hating a character? Absolutely fine. Calling a REAL PERSON horrible things and sending them borderline death threats? Not fine. Not fine at all.

5) The superiority complex of some of y'all mfs

This one is rare for other people to encounter, but I've had many interactions like these. You do not have moral highground. You do not have any highground. I don't have any highground either. We're all gay nerds on the same flat field trying to enjoy characters. Stop it. Get some help.

------ end ------

This is more of a rant which I don't think my followers were expecting,, so sorry about that. I'm just tired. I'll try to post more analysis posts soon but man does school hit hard.

Note that if this is the first dsmp fandom post you've seen, not all of them are like I've mentioned above. It's just my personal experience which doesn't really say much on the actual reality of it.

I wanna end this off with a positive note but that just seems really fake after all the shit I said. So, uh, I'll end it with a neutral note ig. Goodbye, have an okay day!

[multifics-canary]

Marinette's New Shield ch. 2

Ch.1

A/n: guys, thank you so much for your interest in my first posted miraculous story!!! I do have others that I play around with(literally wrote one while at work) and might decide to post those in some near future. This is a little longer than the first one. And I might make a little chapter series. I don't own miraculous ladybug!! And please dont steal this :D

°·°·°·°·°·°·°

Plans are simple, especially if you do it accordingly. Lila's plan was easy to see through. Make a few little lies about your life to get people's attention, shed a few tears to get what you want, make sure no one stands in your way.

Things seemed to have backfired with Marinette, so Lila made sure to spin those lies towards Marinette. Little bullying antics and maybe one or two threats. Ruby doesn't like amateurs, especially ones like her who take advantage of others. It's also the class's fault for believing things that could be checked online.

In the few weeks she's been here, she knew everyone's name and other information. One surrounding factor was that Marinette has helped all of them and has gotten nothing in return. Genuinely, that's what a good person does. But in Marinette's case, they take advantage of her kindness. And since Lila arrived, they've ignored all the good things she did for them and thought the young designer was a jealous bitch.

Be confident in yourself. She told the designer before leaving that day. There's a complexity to making plans. The crucial thing is that it doesn't backfire. Somehow, Marinette trusted Ruby to make things right. And Ruby would make sure to rightfully deserve that trust.

Alya's friendship with Marinette was more or less normal at first, a friend trying to encourage the other to be more confident and stand for herself. It worked wonders. Then Alya starts accusing Marinette of not having facts when she should have them first. She's the journalist, not Marinette. And yet, believed those lies a pretty Italian was spilling. Hypocrite.

They would regret doing losing Marinette. Ruby would make sure of it.

"Rubes!" The girl in question looked up at her name being called, seeing Alya walking towards her, Lila next to her. She had a scowl on her face but quickly changed to a smile when Alya turned to her. Your reaction times are pathetic.

"What can I do for you ladies?"

"We're having a picnic later at the park and we were wondering if you wanted to join us. The whole class will be there!" Alya says excitedly. Ruby had a feeling it two certain people weren't invited, however, she didn't say anything.

"I'll have to check if I'm able to. A family member of mine asked for a small photoshoot session and I promised I'd be there on time."

"Oh Wow!" Alya's excitement seemed innocent enough, her interest viewable from miles around. "You're a model like Adrien?" Lila seemed interested in the conversation, seeing as she looked up in surprise.

"Not really. I pose for a few photos, but I'm more the one behind the camera. Well that's what I'm still learning anyways." She replied watching both girls reactions. One of pure excitement and the other of skepticism. If Lila didn't believe her, that's her problem. Even her uncle Gabriel was impressed with her skills, so she had no interest in impressing a common liar.

Her beginning plan is simple, befriend the class to get to know them. But not get close to any if them but Marinette, who needed the most support. That was step one. Lila already has the mindset that Ruby could be planning, but that was the point. So the liar could be aware of what was to come, just not know how much. And how Ruby loves it when they don't know.

"What else do you do?" Alya states excitedly, bringing the girl out of her thoughts. The 'reporter' had her phone out, filming her.

"Nothing special really. I write for a small media company. They're helping me with getting both my informative and creative pages out there. I have friend editing a small book I'm writing in English as we speak."

"In English?! What a scoop! You have to give me details, girl!" Alya practically screamed, her eyes shinning brightly. Surprisingly Lila hasn't said anything, but Ruby had no doubt the girl would make up a lie that related to what she heard.

"Maybe later. There's some things I have to do. As well as homework." Ruby stated, leaning back on the bench she was at in the first place. Alya deflated a bit but understood, both girls waving goodbye before leaving. Lila looked back at Ruby, glaring a little at her, but the girl wasn't worried. She raised an eyebrow before rolling her eyes, taking out her phone to study.

°·°·°·°·°·°·°·

True to Ruby's word, she was the one behind the camera. But she wasn't alone. One of the model's that works for Gabriel Agreste himself was there, along with Adrien, his photographer, Gorilla, Chloe, and Marinette. Ruby invited the girls and ran into Adrien who wanted to talk with Ruby when they both got breaks.

The photo shoot was going well, both Marinette and Chloe impressed by the professionalism Ruby had.

"You lied to Alya and Lila?"

"Technically I didn't. This model is actually a close friend, almost family. And Adrien is a family member, so only you guys know this. But what they don't know, won't hurt em." Ruby replies, when they get a small break to stretch before another shoot.

"And yet it could if they see us here." Adrien says, walking up to the three girl's. Guess it's time. Adrien glanced at Marinette before turning back to his cousin, his eyes telling her everything.

"Guys I'll be back. Me and Adrien are going to talk for a bit." Marinette and Chloe shared a look before nodding, watching as the cousins moved away.

"I know what I said to her was wrong," Adrien started, not waiting Ruby to speak. "Taking the high road isn't really ideal, but I want to help her. The smile I used to see is so fake now, and I can see she's hurting." Adrien had small tears in his eyes, and Ruby saw something shift in his shirt.

"Rubes, I don't know what to do." The blonde boy said and he looked like the same 6 year old who wondered why his father barely had time for him. Silently, she stepped forward and gave her cousin a hug, feeling him wrap his arms around her. They stayed like that for a little bit, before she pulled away and ruffled his hair.

"Admitting that is already progress. All you have to do now is talk with her. Apologize and listen to her side of the story. These so called akumas may target Lila if she gets found out, yes, but that would also make her a willing target. I heard from Marinette that she has been akumatized 3 times. You have every right to not join in me taking down Lila, but as long as you're there for Marinette, that's enough." Ruby spoke gently, patting her cousin's blonde little head. He smiled brightly, his watery green eyes shinning.

"Thank you Rubes. I don't know what I would do with you."

"You'd mope around the mistake you made until it was too late." She deadpanned, and the blonde laughed.

°·°·°·°·°·°

Not far from where the cousins were, two girls watched in shock of what was happening. Alya quickly took out her phone and recorded, all while Lila fummed next to her. Adrien is mine!

"Lets ask them! Maybe Ruby's a rival." Alya said, wiggling her eyebrows at Lila, who quickly changed her facial expression to shock. The blogger grabbed Lila's arm and dragged her over to the two.

"...of course I love her, she's family you idiot. And one of the best female models around. Unless we got Marinette to join. She gives off two tones, I'm surprised you havent noticed."

"Well you do have a special sense for these things." Adrien shrugged lazily, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Well she gives off a type of flower princess for one. Think about it. She already has flower designs, I've seen them by the way, and with her modeling one of those outfits and you with your title as sunshine child? The fans will go wild! But underneath that flower princess is a storm. Like a female warrior naturally leading everyone to peace." Ruby ranted off, fully aware of company they were gonna have.

"I never thought about it that way. I mean yeah, I call her our everyday ladybug, but flower princess makes more sense. Actually--"

"Hey guys!" Ruby and Adrien turned to see Alya with her phone out, loosely followed by a dragged Lila, who glared dangerously at Ruby.

"This is Alya coming to you with a new scoop! This is Ruby, she's a new student at out school and have we got news! She's a photographer, a model, and a writer! Granted, she hasn't traveled or given us a bunch of stories like my best friend Lila, but she's already up in the charts. And look at this!" Alya turned the camera to show Ruby and Adrien hold each other rather intimately. "Could they be a couple? Or is Ruby a rival to famous Lila?"

"Wait what?" Ruby raised an eyebrow, glancing at her cousin, who practically wanted to facepalm.

"Come on, girl! We know Adrien is the ultimate heartthrob with his sweet personality. Now, spill. Do you guys like each other? This is another rivalry between two well known people?" Alya said, practically shoving the camera at their faces. Ruby frowned deeply, moving the camera out of the way, much to Alya's confusion.

"I don't like cameras so close to me, thank you very much. And second me and Adrien are friends, we've known each other for years." Ruby stated, growing annoyed with Alya.

"But even friends become couples! If I didn't think Lila had a chance with Adrien, you guys would make a cute couple!" Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Ruby watched as Lila fummed even more, her eyes now on all three of them. Alya blissfuly unaware while Adrien slowly backed away, Ruby standing in front of him.

Lila radiated so much negative energy, Ruby knew it was only a matter of time before an akuma came. True to her thought, she spotted a black butterfly fluttering over to the Italian girl. Somehow, as if sensing it, she turned, spoting the akuma before smirking. Thinking quickly, she pushed Adrien back and dashed past Alya, just as Lila was about to grab the akuma.

Ruby grabbed her wrist and with her other hand, let the akuma flutter to her family bracelet. Everyone stared in shock as Ruby let go of Lila and fell on the floor, holding her head. She vaguely heard Alya and Adrien yell out her name in concern.

Not far from where they are, Marinette felt her purse shift in the direction where the cousins had left and turned, gasping when she saw Ruby holding her head as Adrien, Alya, and Lila --in her case pretend-- to calm Ruby down. She saw the purple outline and dashed towards them, Chloe right behind her.

"Hmm, you are not ms. Rossi. No matter, your protective anger of wanting to help a friend is powerful. White knight, I give you the power to protect your friend from a manipulative liar. In return, I want Ladybug's and Chat Noir's miraculous."

"No." Ruby said loudly, her eyes snapped open as she slowly stood up, wobbling in her place. No one touched her, but stayed close in any case. "You made a mistake, Hawkmoth. Because I know now who you are." She said quietly, a hunt of saddness in her voice. Everyone around her was freaking out, but Marinette just kept staring at Ruby, slowly inching toward.

She wrapped her fingers lightly on Ruby's akumatized bracelet, and the girl snapped her head to the young designer. "Have fun trying to get your akuma back, Hawkmoth. I'm keeping it until Ladybug comes to purify it."

"You insolent girl! Give in to your anger!" Hawkmoth practically yelled, sending a wave of pain to her. She winced, closing her eyes tightly as she felt Marinette grab both of her wrists, grounding her.

"I have no anger. You're trying to give me yours. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do." Ruby calmly stated, severing the connection between her and the villain. Once it was gone, she groaned, falling forward. If it wasn't for Marinette holding her, she would've collapsed.

"Rubes can you hear me?" Marinette says quietly, Chloe trying to shush the growing group around them. Ruby blinked a few times as her eyes began to focus on blue eyes.

"H-hey maribug." The girl finally said, watching as Marinette let out a sigh of relief. She let Ruby lean on her, keeping a careful eye of the akumatized item.

"Ruby thank you so much! I would've been akumatized if you hadn't saved me." Lila spoke first, smiling brightly at her, though her eyes held a dangerous glint. Somehow the whole class was there, thanking her and asking if both she and Lila were okay.

The girl just smiled weakly, still feeling the negative effects of the akuma. It took a while bit eventually the class left, having a picnic to go in another area of the park.

Only Alya and Lila stayed behind, one filled with worry while the other was filled with silent anger. "Ruby, you sure you're okay?" Alya asked, warily glancing at Marinette, who was still holding on to the girl.

"I'm fine. Marinette can take care me. It's not like I have anything against her." Ruby deadpanned, before quickly relaxing so the akuma can't turn her. Alya seemed shocked by the statement, and had no time to respond, feeling Lila pull her away.

"Chloe, help me get her out to a more secluded area." Marinette spoke, the blonde nodding. Adrien had disappeared, probably getting something or going back to the photo shoot.

Both girls helped Ruby to the back of the bakery, which was the closest. Marinette left, saying she'll bring some water and cookies. So Ruby stayed with Chloe, who for some reason was having a mental breakdown, though she hid it well.

Ruby closed her eyes and leaned her head on Chloe's shoulder, waiting for Marinette or Ladybug.

Only after a few minutes, both Ladybug and Chat Noir arrive quietly, not wanting to startle the girl. Chloe-- who had a red face, Marinette would talk to her later-- gently woke Ruby up, and saw saw the heroes in front of her.

"Are you okay?" Ladybug asked softly, chat helping her sit up.

"I'm fine, Ladybug. Just a little tired. The akuma is in my bracelet." She holds up her arm, and a darkened bracelet practically glares at the heroes.

"Chat Noir said that he saw you were keeping the akuma, and not being akumatized is very brave of you." Ladybug smiled, removing the bracelet and handing it to Chat Noir.

She summoned a lucky charm, catching it and staring in confusion at the item. It was a phine that had a picture of Chloe, Ruby, Adrien, and Marinette. Chloe face was red while Ruby held her possessively, and Marinette and Adrien were smiling in satisfaction.

Later. The heroine thought to herself as Chat Noir destroyed the bracelet and she caught the akuma, purifying it and throwing the lucky charm in the air. The little ladybugs fixed the broken bracelet and Ruby practically relaxed against Chloe.

"Do you know how the akuma came to you anyways?" Chloe said after a while, her face beet red.

"Alya thought me and Adrien were flirting with each other. Which one, gross, and two we're cousins. And even if we weren't related, he'd be like a little brother to me. So the reporter, who really doesn't know what she's doing, kept saying all this stuff that made me seem like a big deal and could rival Lila. Obviously she didn't like that. Then Alya said that if she didn't think Lila and Adrien would look good, I'd look great with him." Ruby said, rolling her eyes while Ladybug pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. Ladybug, you need to do something about lie-la. And the supposed 'ladyblog' that is filled with lies." Chloe huffed, watching Chat Noir nodding a little in agreement.

"Actually. I have a plan, and I could use your help." Ruby stated, smirking at the heroes.

The Paris saviors looked at each other, the black clad hero nodding at his partner. Turning back to Ruby, Ladybug smirked, a hand on her hip.

"We're listening."

°·°·°·°·

Requested tags: @ezio-demon @ignorantly-apathatic @marilee98 @tinybrie @kuroko26 @claaydoh @mewwitch @taleeuuhhh @starrosecolors @zebrabaker @miraculously-quality-content @slytherinqueen2432 @rayray384 @starberry-mina @royalchaoticfangirl @book-r-the-best (I was generous and did 16)

General tags: @the-wlw-cafe @mcgrathandwives @imagine-lcorp @baked-bean-bekah @natu123 @wlwhc @nobodyfamousposts @gale-of-the-nomads @miraculous-of-salt

[queenangst]

1/? Sorry to rant but...I have something to say regarding the comment you got that said "this is okay." I've always really admired creators. I wish had the ability to create, whether art, writing, or otherwise. But I'm 100% consumer through and through. As much time as I've spent in fandom consuming, I've never actually contributed because I just don't have the creative juices for that. But I feel like that makes me so much more appreciative of just how much work goes into what creators put out

into the world. I can't even fathom how people can just sit down in front of a blank canvas and create art, or in front of a blank document and just start writing. Like what. I've read soooo many fics, and of course we all love those gems that are written perfectly. But sometimes you'll read a fic and the grammar is a bit rough. Maybe the plot is a little jumpy or the dialogue is somewhat choppy. Regardless, someone somewhere put a lot of work into it and is deciding to share it because it's something they're proud of. And that's never something we should take for granted. There are no shitty drawings. There are no shitty fics. Everyone starts somewhere. I feel like it's part of the consumers' responsibility to help nuture our budding creators by providing them with love and support. I don't think the "this is okay" comment was meant as an insult, but I think people who leave comments like that should think a little more about the writer's feelings and learn to leave more helpful comments. Sometimes even constructive criticism is appreciated! (Of course, I believe that con crit should always be accompanied by compliments as well). Everyone's different though. I just think personally, as someone who has a lot of trouble creating, if I ever did create and I decided to share it and I got a comment that said "this is okay" I'd be a little disappointed. I'd think yeah, I suck, I know. Anyway sorry to rant I just really love creators and I owe them my happiness.

hi, nonnie. 

first off: this made me really happy to hear, actually! “this is okay” is not a bad comment but not a good one—but honestly, with how far i’ve come and what i’ve experienced of fandom it’s a comment i can brush off easily. but i agree with you!

like i said in my post, i’m not sure how i’d reacted if i’d gotten that comment seven years ago. i think i would have been a bit upset, probably. my reaction would be different seven years ago, and five years ago, and two years ago; and it might be different seven years in the future. 

my first fic was not “good.” it’s not the same quality i write to now, with years of experience and learning under my belt. in fact, it’s not very well written at all (objectively), but i don’t dismiss my younger self’s work or passion. it’s still worth something. it was worth something to me when i wrote it. it’s worth something to me now, even if i never really want to look at that fic these days, because it started something for me. it was a beginning. you’re right. everyone starts somewhere. 

i’ve talked about feedback culture on my blog before. i’ve gotten much worse comments than “this is okay,” which impacted my journey a lot and what i think of comments, and what the lines of what you should and shouldn’t cross. i’ve talked about comments a lot, and my personal experiences. (here’s a post about the worst comment i’ve ever got, more thoughts, more re: negative comments, etc, etc, all in my ‘feedback culture’ tag.) 

even if you don’t like something personally as a consumer, that doesn’t mean that a work is bad or has no value. it has value because someone is sharing their ideas, their view. it has value because it exists. it has value because it means something to someone. to a reader. to a writer. when we talk about “bad” writing or “bad” art, we talk about those in technicalities. and we’re always going to be biased one way or another. but in fandom, in fan spaces, it’s important to support creators. we have to. you don’t have to comment, and we as writers appreciate consumers (because creators and consumers cannot exist without each other), but comments are nice. we share our work because we want to be seen. 

i do want to put in my two cents as a writer re: concrit. this is kind of a culture that’s been shifting recently; and my mindset, like i said, has changed over the years. i liked concrit when i was younger and still learning. i don’t like unsolicited concrit, because honestly i’m at a point where i don’t want to hear about people telling me how i could do things better (this is me personally, because fanfic is something i do in my limited free time for fun, free of charge). but i believe you should ask before you leave any. it’s best that way - people who don’t want it won’t get it, but people who do will. 

but yeah. “this is okay” = not a bad comment, but not exactly encouraging either. while it doesn’t affect me now, this comment could hurt someone else. if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say it at all really.

anyway, thank you so much for sharing your viewpoint. from early into fandom i was a creator and a consumer both, but it’s really nice to hear from someone who’s just on the other side. i really, really genuinely appreciate it! i love you consumers as much as you love us creators, and to have your support really does make a difference. 

go out there! support your creators! and support young creators, and new creators, and give them your love—and you will see them grow, and you will see them create, and you will see them happy.