#SRC2024

[danielfeketewrites]

Hellboy (2004)

First drafts, amirite?

As Ernest Hemingway famously said: "The first draft of anything is shit."

That's an exaggeration, of course. There are first drafts that are at least decent. There are first drafts that could be described as alright. Some writers can do it. Sometimes you just manage to mostly nail it on the first try. But it's a rare thing.

It's really weird, to read an early draft of a film you love. It's in a lot of ways like the thing you love, except... worse. Usually not a whole lot. Just a little. But definitely worse. But you can spot the bits that will be moved, removed, added, tweaked, or changed completely. And you realise that these changes are 9 times out of 10 what makes it the whole thing better.

The first time this has happened to me was probably while reading Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. It's a film I dearly love and reading the screenplay was great... except it was just a slightly worse version. (Might reread it this year for the challenge? Who knows?)

With Hellboy, the experience was maybe even a bit worse, because it's actually quite different at parts to the film I know I love.

And trust me, I love Hellboy.

I fell in love with Guillermo del Torro's two Hellboy films, then I fell in love with Mike Mignola's Hellboy comics. Both of these are very different, but I love them both so goddamn much.

But this script... clearly isn't there yet. Some parts of it are not very engagingly written, and there are some pacing issues, which I think were eventually solved. (Notice the date on the script. It's 1999. Five years before the film's release.)

Also, Hellboy is quite unlikeable in this script. And the one point where I think his dickishness is actually kinda justified, everyone starts acting like he's crossed a line. But by the time this evolves into the film, all of that is largely fixed. The remainders of Hellboy's dickishness are offset by Ron Pearlman's charisma.

And while I said a lot of this is very different, there is so much that made it to the final film: the loose adaptations of Seed of Destruction, agent Myers, Hellboy's relationship with Liz, and so much more of the stuff that makes the first Hellboy movie really enjoyable. You can see the seeds of an amazing film, it's just not finished yet.

It's also important to note how crucial Guillermo del Toro himself is to the film eventually being as good as it is. He's basically writing the roadmap for himself here, he can change the trajectory if he wants to. Eventually, his direction, the cast, and the mise-en-scène end up making the film genuinely memorable.

I love Guillermo del Toro.

And while I said that some bits of the script aren't particularly engaging, there are occasionally some great bits of raw imagery here...

"Rotting steel mills line the street like dead industrial behemoths." This line fucking slaps and you can't tell me otherwise. Raw as fuck, just hidden away in a scene description.

So yeah, there are some great bits. If you're interested in the background of the film, I can recommend it. If you just want some great Hellboy stories, go watch both of the del Toro films. Or go read the comics.

I've read the RaM script on my laptop, I've read the Hellboy script on my ebook reader.

I actually started reading it some time last year. Didn't get past the first act. For the challenge, I pushed myself a little, picked up where I left it and just read the remaining 3/4 of it.

It was ultimately worth it. I think I gained a better understanding of the film's conception and, more importantly, I learned something about first drafts and it's this: If your first draft is finished... No, it's not. Never stop striving to make something better. If you've made something and it's okay or bad or kinda good or whatever, it can always be better.

Suo Tempore.

[danielfeketewrites]

Go watch Mr Robot if you haven't seen it yet. Atm over 70% of you haven't seen any of it, which... Isn't good. Go fix that.

[theofficialsiyauniverse-blog]

As a person born with intersex traits, I had the honor of speaking on the importance of celebrating Women’s Month in South Africa and the need to realign societal values to protect the rights of all women and promote inclusion and diversity.

The Wits University Gender Equity Office provides a platform for men, women, and people of all identities to explore their differences and collaborate on the change we envision for our communities, enhancing human rights and inclusion.

The panel discussion I participated in was themed “Strategies and Stories of Women Shaping Political Landscapes in South Africa and Beyond.” Panelists included Honorable Naledi Chirwa of the EEF, Zulaika Patel, and myself. We examined gaps in promoting gender equity and the economic inclusion of women, youth, and persons with disabilities. Honorable Chirwa provided a historical perspective, explaining how apartheid’s segregationist policies shaped South Africa’s spatial, political, and economic landscape. She emphasized the need for redress, healing, and radical transformation to empower marginalized communities and foster economic freedom.

Zulaika Patel focused on the diverse identities of women, advocating for freedom in expressing femininity without stereotypes. She highlighted the importance of recognizing women’s unpaid work and the role of local and international organizations in guiding sustainable development and supporting lawful protest.

I discussed the work of state departments, executive government, private sector, and nonprofit organizations in advancing sustainable development and improving quality of life across South Africa, the region, and the continent. I also shared the mission of my organization, the Global Development Consortium, in 2024, including our engagement in UN reporting for several countries and partnerships with international bodies to implement initiatives empowering marginalized groups and promoting human rights.

My contribution urged students, staff, and the Johannesburg community to intentionally contribute to solutions, co-create initiatives, and establish partnerships with both local and global institutions to achieve sustainable development and economic freedom.

#Wits #SRC2024 #SouthAfrica #Mzansi #Leadership #PersonalDevelopment

[donmaking]

SRC2024-Comeback: Canicrosser wieder dabei

Es war einfach zu warm – aus diesem Grund musste das 6km-Canicross-Rennen im vergangenen Jahr mit Rücksicht auf die Vierbeiner leider ausfallen. Danke noch einmal an alle, die dafür Verständnis hatten. Umso mehr hoffen wir nun auf das Comeback, denn dieser doch ungewöhnliche Sport liegt uns sehr am Herzen. Um 11.15 Uhr gehen die Läufer mit ihren Hunden an den Start – oder umgekehrt?! Wer weiß.…

[danielfeketewrites]

Red Dwarf: Polymorph

It's Red Dwarf Day! Nice! Maybe I should finally get around to writing the post about the script I've read like a month ago...

Oh, Red Dwarf Day was yesterday? Oh well. Anyway - Polymorph.

About two years ago, during my third year of uni, I went to a charity shop and found some Red Dwarf treasures - namely, Red Dwarf Omnibus (which features the first two books, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers and Better Than Life, as well as the pilot script) for 1.99 and this, Primordial Soup, for 1.49... An absolute bargain!

Primordial Soup collects six Red Dwarf scripts, picked as favourite episodes of the two writers (Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, together forming the gestalt entity "Grant Naylor") at the time:

Season 3: Polymorph + Marooned

Season 4: Dimension Jump + Justice

Season 5: Back to Reality

Season 6: Psirens

I still haven't seen all of Red Dwarf, but Polymorph has to be one of my favourite episodes, if not the favourite episode. In these posts, I try to think of something I've maybe learned from reading the script and such. But here? I think the lesson is - if you already have a TV show (or a storytelling platform of any kind for that matter), just have fun with it! Don't get bogged down by what the series is or should be and do something stupid instead! Are you doing a silly character-based comedy? JUST ADD THE FUCKING THING FROM JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING. Yeah, of course, that tracks.

You've got to admit - sitcoms don't tend to have an actual sense of danger. And yes, by the time we get to the scene with Rimmer's mother, that danger isn't really there any more, but I really think there was some. And there certainly is some again in the ending. (Although, admittedly, I prefer the other ending, as it was the first version of Polymorph I've seen. But yeah, the script ends with a "Lister" - his head spins around while his body is static, then he grins into the camera and walks off... Properly sinister stuff. This episode really is John Carpenter's The Thing as a sitcom.)

Alright, there's one more thing to learn here. It all comes back to something my teacher at uni said about writing sitcom characters - base them around their flaws. And what might those flaws be? Start with seven deadly sins.

While not all of the negative emotions eaten by Polymorph are on this list - some of them definitely are. And you can see how Polymorph was created as a specifically sitcom threat, as by removing "negative emotions", we remove who those characters really are. Polymorph, with a surgical percision, is a mutant designed to eat sitcoms.

It's not just a sci-fi parody, it's genuinely clever. Also, it's a good way to approach an ensemble episode, ie one where the focus isn't on a single member of the cast, the focus is on the whole crew.

So yeah, Polymorph is great. What a surprise.

As I've already mentioned, I read this script from a published collection. Which means it wasn't formatted properly... But that's probably a good thing, as Red Dwarf was very likely written in the older format of a studio script, which is just a pain to read. So, on this occasion, I prefer it that way. We're probably gonna get around to me ranting against some of the formatting in published scripts in the future.

Anyway, I'm gonna end this post with the scene that made me burst out laughing. It's the afforementioned scene with Rimmer's mother. I did remember a lot of the jokes in Polymorph, but not this one and it really caught me off guard in the best possible way. Enjoy!

[danielfeketewrites]

Mr. Robot: eps1.0_hellofriend.mov

I haven't given up on SRC! I just need a bit of time to catch up, both with regards to reading the scripts, as well as to writing the posts.

So, for the fourth week of 2024 I picked Mr. Robot, one of my favourite American TV shows.

The trouble with this pilot (or "eps1.0_hellofriend.mov") is that I don't have that much to say. It's in a pretty late stage and this is pretty good and very similar to what ended up on screen.

However, I do remember learning one thing from it - don't talk down to your audience, never, not once, not event about the most specialised stuff.

Because this draft has some explanations for the viewers. "Super", as in "superimposed" - text laid over the picture. Now, I haven't seen the Mr. Robot pilot in a while, but I'm pretty certain these didn't end up being in the final thing and for a very good reason.

While I understand the impulse, it's ultimately very wrong. Don't explain shit to me, I don't need to know everything. Like Russell T Davies says: "I'd rather be confused for 10 minutes than bored for 5 seconds."

So yeah, don't over-explain. Let me be confused.

It can also lead to some hilarious moments like these - Sam Esmail explaining widely known internet acronyms as if it's some secret languange of hackers. Very funny.

So yeah, I'm glad these didn't end up in the actual episode. Because it makes for better television.

[danielfeketewrites]

Rick and Morty: The Ricks Must Be Crazy ("Battery World")

Since I've started the challenge some time into January, I wanted to start with something breezy. A quick read.

The Ricks Must Be Crazy (a title referencing the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy) was originally called "Battery World" and is 42 pages long. I picked this particular episode of RaM mostly just because I remembered it as one of the really good ones. And it's in the second season, which I think can be considered the only season loved by basically everyone who gave this show a shot.

Unfortunately, I didn't remember just how fucked up this episode actually was.

A brief sidenote about formatting: Mr. Guterman (and the show in general, if I'm not mistaken) does something I haven't really seen all that much when reading scripts - bold letters instead of capitalisation for emphasis. I'm used to "Summer SCREAMS" not "Summer screams" but that's probably just a personal preference.

So, let's start with the B storyline - "Keep Summer Safe" - where Rick's car has to protect Summer. I have to admit, I was kinda horrified by some of the stuff here. Because the whole storyline... Isn't really funny. It's extremely bleak, actually. Imagine this outside of the context of Rick and Morty. There aren't even that many jokes here, it tries to get by just on the absurd escalation of events here.

That's not say that it's bad. It's an engaging bit of high-concept sci-fi drama that fits well inside the episode. It just really isn't funny. Just brutal. At least to me, on the paper.

Now, let's move on to the A storyline - "Into the Microverse" - which is why this episode is really good.

I love this so much. It's not just an exploration of a cool sci-fi concept. It's also an exploration of Rick at his worst. He's a hypocrite. He's a narcissistic asshole. His car is powered by slavery.

For me, probably the most fucked up moment for Rick comes here:

This comes RIGHT AFTER an exchange where Rick and Zeep bond. They both realize how alike they are. They have a connection. They are VERY similar and both of them realize it now.

They could be soulmates... If one of them technically wasn't the other one's slave. So, Zeep betrays Rick at the first opportunity he gets. And how does Rick react, knowing that this guy likely thinks a lot like him? Like this. Rick presumes with absolute certainty that Zeep will destroy his live's work and commit a genocide just the get rid of Rick (i.e. kill god).

And when they get out? Rick is the one who actually does it. He destroys the miniverse. After all, that's why he came to the microverse in the first place. To "fix the battery".

You're right Zeep, he is a monster. I mean, you're probably too... But still. Rick is an absolute monster. And for all of this episode's focus on Rick's hypocrisy, this "casual genocide" isn't brought up very often.

Not a complaint, necessarily. This episode already juggles a lot, it doesn't really have time to dwell on this. Still, I forgot about that and now it's very difficult to think about anything else. Because for Rick, this is the moment of triumph. Not yet, technically, but he fixes his car here.

And it all leads to this...

But again, it's not JUST that the episode completely reveals Rick as the awful person he is. It's that it works in tandem with the miniverse/microverse idea which makes it such a good episode. Because the miniverse/microverse stuff is genuinely clever AND genuinely funny.

"small thing HUGE" and "BIG THING small" is a great trope in sci-fi comedy (see Men in Black), but The Ricks Must Be Crazy (or "Battery World") pulls off a nice twist on that with the matryoshka universes. That just works extremely well, imo.

So yeah, while I really didn't enjoy reading the stuff with Summer here (again, it's not bad, just... really bleak), this is an extremely good script and still one of the best things this show has ever done. (Admittedly, I'm not caught up - as of writing this, I still haven't seen seasons 6 and 7.)

My favourite RaM episode is still Never Ricking Morty, though.

(love this gif to bits, btw)

Also, I should probably mention that this is an American TV show and therefore has been written by a writer's room. Dan Gutterman is responsible for a chunk of the outlining and definitely at least some of the drafts but the story itself has been created by a group of people (lead by Dan Harmon) and the script has likely been revised to death (probably by Dan Harmon).

Aaaand... that's the end of my first proper Script Reading Challenge post. Yey! Don't worry, not all of them will be this long. I just wanted to talk about this specific script in a bit more detail.

My personal takeaway as a writer from this script is this: "We are not so different, you and I" is basically a meme. However, there's power in not just talking about it but showing it. Doing it for real. A character #2 existing to reveal who character #1 REALLY is. Through their similarity. That's good stuff.

[danielfeketewrites]

Script Reading Challenge 2024

Back when I was studying screenwriting at University of Suffolk, we had an online guest lecture. I won't name the lecturer but one thing he said stuck with me.

He asked how many of us read at least 50 screenplays per year.

Obviously, none of us did. Outside of writing and reading for classes, we would read a few screenplays every year at most. None of us really had the time or motivation to read more of them.

Then he proclaimed that we should be thinking about something else for our futures, because if you can't be bothered to read at least one script every week, you are not serious about the industry.

Now, this is obviously a huge, steamy pile of gatekeepy bullshit. You don't need to read a script every week to be a screenwriter. You should read scripts if you want to writer them, obviously, but this is just gatekeeping. Fuck that.

And yet... This somehow stayed with me. I kept thinking: Maybe, if I can track my reading, I would be able to do this. If you read quickly enough, it doesn't take that much time - a page of a script should take up about a minute, so thats two hours of reading for an average-length feature film. It's a lot less for an episode of a TV show. Maybe I can even occasionally read some other stuff for this, like comic book scripts or stage plays and count that towards the goal...

So that's what I've decided to do. I'm going to read 52 scripts in 2024. Just to see if I can do it. I'll also try to share some thoughts about them and link those posts here. You can join me if you'd like. Although I'm not confident about many people doing that, as I'm posting it this quite a bit into January. Or maybe just join me in spirit, by reading my posts about this challenge. That's valid as well.

List of Scripts #SRC2024

January

Week 1: Rick and Morty: The Ricks Must Be Crazy ("Battery World") by Dan Guterman (TV)

Week 2: Hellboy by Guillermo del Torro (film)

Week 3: Red Dwarf: Polymorph by Grant Naylor (TV)

Week 4: Mr. Robot: eps1.0_hellofriend.mov by Sam Esmail (TV)

February

Week 5: Doctor Who: Shada: Episode One by Douglas Adams (TV)

Week 6: Doctor Who: Shada: Episode Two by Douglas Adams (TV)

Week 7: Doctor Who: Shada: Episode Three by Douglas Adams (TV)

Week 8: Doctor Who: Shada: Episode Four by Douglas Adams (TV)

March

Week 9: Doctor Who: Shada: Episode Five by Douglas Adams (TV)

Week 10: Doctor Who: Shada: Episode Six by Douglas Adams (TV)

Week 11: Brick (film)

Week 12: ---

Week 13: ---

April

Week 14: ---

Week 15: ---

Week 16: ---

Week 17: ---

May

Week 18: ---

Week 19: ---

Week 20: ---

Week 21: ---

June

Week 22: ---

Week 23: ---

Week 24: ---

Week 25: ---

Week 26: ---

I'll keep adding links whenever I get around to writing posts about the scripts.

[donmaking]

Sichere dir jetzt das SRC2024-Shirt in Hellblau!