#I think this ask is a month or two old sorry
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serpentface · 3 days ago
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I know that you got rid of all the definite super-natural stuff which I think was a really good choice. I know dreamlands cult is still around, but what happened to the giant ur-tree. That was really cool. I was wondering if that was still a thing or significantly changed at all. This blog and all your world building is super cool 🫡
Unfortunately it has to be significantly changed due to the original concept being like, not actually a tree but like a suspended structure of millions of years of plant life (the highest branches being composed of early land plants extinct everywhere else, the trunks being a twisted amalgam of contemporary trees and foliage) supported by a quasi-sapient deified fungal network.
There's nothing I can do that doesn't wildly nerf the concept down, but I'm maintaining the Spirit Of Things by having the Ur-Tree be a clonal system of very large trees that are actually a single tree connected by a root system, which is over 10,000 years old. This single tree is functionally its own woodland, and part of a much larger (otherwise non-clonal) forest.
This ancient tree is an individual from a spec bio species that I haven't fully fleshed out yet. I was thinking something spruce-like in appearance but it needs to produce fairly substantial quantities of dimethyltryptamine in its bark/roots. It grows in humid subtropical-tropical regions (the Ur-Tree is in the Lowlands, which is a humid coastal subtropical region) and has a fairly wide spread, but its range is fragmented and it's almost always found as a singular tree among other species, no other clonal colonies of this size and age exist (and thus the Ur-Tree is recognizably unique). Its root system is a key host/mutualist symbiotic partner for a spec bio fungus with strong hallucinogenic properties, which is refined along with the bark extract to make the Ur-Root entheogen used by the Scholars sect of the Eterhimhamdli religion.
This retcon allows for people to still live in the Ur-Tree (in a less literal sense of living within the space of the colonial organism), for it to be a large location that is a focal point for a religious practice, for its components to be used in production of a very strong hallucinogen, and for it to be a Presence that predates the cultural memories of any groups that encounter it. It might not have the cool factor of the Giant Fucking God Tree but it preserves the aspects that are most interesting to me in the confines of this setting.
The effects of the hallucinogen are also VERY similar to the pre-supernatural nerfing event version (just less Specifically Targeted without the 'experiencing the memories of a semi-sapient fungus' aspect). A full trip starts with minor visual distortion that turns into fractals, the experience of going through a tunnel and 'breaking through' into a distinct experiential Space, you may encounter things you perceive as entities that communicate with you, etc. (This is just DMT.)
The come up period for the fungus times itself near perfectly with the come-down for the DMT (there is usually no moment of in-between for the user). This is experienced as the previous space shifting into one that feels more like the real world, but with a heavily distorted sense of time, the user feels as if they are living through hundreds of thousands of years. Their senses are distorted and indistinct from one another, hard to categorize as 'vision' 'sound' 'smell' 'touch', it's raw Experience. In a good trip, the user loses all sense of individual identity and experiences a sense of oneness with all life, rendering the sensation of endless time into a peaceful experience. In a bad trip, the user remains semi-conscious and might retain the concept of the 'self' and therefore experience what feels like being trapped in this space for millennia.
(Here's the original post about it. Everything about the religious practices and interpretations Surrounding the tree/the Ur-Root is still canon, with the exception of the Scholarly Order Of The Root being a singular sect/mystery cult of a much larger religion rather than The central priesthood of that religion)
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lowkeyerror · 2 days ago
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Congrats on Your Divorce
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word Count: 4.1k
Notes: Requested, fluff & smut, librarian!reader, divorced!Wanda, smut, fingering, thigh-riding, cunnilingus
Summary: You befriend Wanda, a regular at the library you work at, after learning about her divorce. The friendship becomes something more one day when you come over to help her with her sick kids. As your relationship progresses you even talk about buying a home together, which leads to a physical manifestation of how much you love each other.
An: It took me awhile because I got a little carried away. I hope I did your request justice 🙇‍♀️.
Masterlist
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You enjoyed the mundane lifestyle that came with working at the library. There was a comfort that came with knowing that you worked in something of a community center. Being able to provide a service that for some was the highlight of their day. In this day and age having regulars at the library was a rarity, especially the adults. Kids would come after school for homework or for research purposes, but the adults were few and far between.
Technically it may have been weird that you had a favorite but you couldn’t help yourself. There was a woman named Wanda, she’d come once a week ask for a recommendation and sit there the whole day and read it.
She’d always make a comment or two on the book on her way out and it made you smile. It was good to know she appreciated your picks. Though there were other staff members she only really asked you.
When she missed one week, you found yourself discouraged. One week turned to two and so forth until it had been a month since you saw the woman.
“Y/n, it looks like your regular is back. She might need a little assistance,” one of your coworkers approaches you.
“What are you talking about?”
They give you a look that says ‘seriously’, “Ms. Recommendations, she’s in the non-fiction section looking a little worse for wear.”
You nod and make your way over to the section. There you find Wanda. Your coworker was not exaggerating. She looked so fragile as if she was just waiting for the tears to fall. She was staring at the books, but it was easy to tell that she wasn’t really reading anything.
“Looking for anything in particular,” you say softly, trying not to startle her.
She seems to snap out of her trance enough to try and answer you, “No, not today.”
It felt like she was speaking on autopilot. If it were another guest, you would’ve let her be, but this was Wanda. Perhaps it was a bit para-social but it felt like you knew her better than the average customer.
“I- I don’t mean to overstep, but are you alright?”
She lets out a tired sigh, “That obvious?”
You attempt to back track, “No… uh it’s just I haven’t seen you around in a while."
She looks away for a moment, “ Yeah, I um got a divorce. So I’ve been a hermit as of late.”
“Oh, congratulations.”
Wanda can’t help but laugh at your words, “Most people have been saying they’re sorry to hear, but congratulations? It’s kind of refreshing.”
You shrug, “Well I don’t think divorce is always a bad thing. It’s hard for sure, but it’s better than staying in a situation you don't deserve.”
“What if I was in the wrong?’ Her eyes are glued to the floor as she speaks.
“I may be overstepping again, but I doubt that's the case. You don't seem like the kind of person,” your tone doesn't make her argue, instead a look of relief crosses her face.
“I'm not,” she says taking a deep breath.
You smile at her, “Then it’s their loss.”
She smiles back at you, “I guess you’re right.”
Glad to have made her feel even a little bit better, you begin to leave the aisle she's in. You dint get far before there’s a gentle tug on your wrist. You turn back to stare into Wanda’s warm green eyes.
She’s nervous as she speaks, “I don’t know if I’m too old to be doing this, but fuck it. I could really use a friend right now and I was wondering if you’d be open to getting coffee or something, whenever you’re free.”
You stare at her for a few seconds before nodding, “I’m off in about 15 minutes, there’s a café a few blocks over that I think everyone should try at least once.”
Her excitement builds up in her features. She clears her throat to hide it, “I’ll wait for you by the YA novels?”
“Sounds perfect.”
From that day on Wanda wasn’t just a regular customer anymore, she was your genuine friend. She was also one of the sweetest people you had ever met in your life. She was unbelievably strong too.
The details of her divorce were quite messy. A touch of infidelity here and there, mixed with a custody agreement was a recipe for disaster.
You always offered to be there in any way you can’t for. She usually turns down your more serious offers for help, and sticks to fun small outings. You can tell that she’s somewhat embarrassed by her situation, but you don’t think there’s anything she should be embarrassed about.
“Y/n, I know I said I was free to go out today, but Tommy is sick and Billy isn’t doing that great either, can I give you a rain check?”
She called you and you could hear the tiredness and distress in her voice, “Let me come over and help you, Wands. Two sick kids is rough work, I know you could use a hand.”
She’s silent on the line, but the coughs and sinus filled conversation doesn’t stop.
Wanda sighs, “Okay, do you think you can bring me some medicine? I’ll text you some ingredients I need for soup too if that’s alright?”
“Whatever you need, I’ll see you in a bit,” you say simply.
You follow through on your word picking up various cough, cold, and fever medicines along with some cough drops. You nearly forget about the stuff for the soup, until Wanda texts you something she left off the ingredient list. After picking up everything you head to her house.
You’d been to her house before, but never when her kids were there. You had seen them with her a few times at the library, but back then you didn’t quite deduce that they were her children. It feels so obvious now, but Wanda was definitely a young mom in your opinion, or at least she looked like one.
You rang the doorbell and waited with the groceries in your hand. It took a moment but eventually the door swung open revealing Wanda. Though your hands were full, she’s the one who had bags under her eyes. She looked as though she would fall over any second.
“You’re a godsend Y/n,” she tries to take the bags from your hands but you don’t let her.
“And you’re sick too, here I figured this would happen,” you rummage through the bags and pull out a medicine that’s for adults.
“It’s drowsy.”
You nod, “I know, I figured you need the rest anyway, let me handle its.”
Wanda shakes her head, “Are you crazy? You think you can handle my two kids and me on your own?”
You smile at her, “You underestimate me, Maximoff. Let me show you what I can do.”
“We’ll see, but first come meet them properly.”
You sit the bags down in the kitchen, opting to take the medicine upstairs with you. She takes you to their room.
Tommy is propped up in his bed watching as Billy plays videogames from his spot on the floor.
“Tommy, Billy, this is my friend Y/n. She’s going to help us out today,” Wanda introduces you.
“The library lady,” Billy sounds congested as he speaks.
You nod your head enthusiastically, “ Yep, that’s me. I heard you boys were sick, so I brought some stuff to make you feel better.”
Tommy gags, “Ew medicine.”
You sympathize with him, “Ew is right, but it’s worth it I promise. In fact, I’ll sweeten the deal, you guys take your medicine, and I’ll make you the best soup of your life in return.”
“Better than mom’s?” Billy questions.
“ 1 million times better,” you egg him on.
Tommy is more hesitant, “I don’t know.”
You get closer to him, crouching so you can meet his level, “How about when you’re feeling better, we go out to the arcade and get some ice cream too.”
That seems to be enough for the boy, “That sounds awesome.”
While you’re chatting with them Wanda starts to prepare the medicine cups for the boys. They take the medicine with all the dramatics that children do.
“Ok, we’ll be back to check on you guys, shortly. Billy, get some socks baby. Tommy stay under the covers sweetheart."
The both of you exit the room and head back down the stairs. Wanda moves to start unloading the groceries, but you stop her.
“If you’re not going to fully rest, at least sit. I can make the soup,” you point to the barstools she has in her kitchen.
“Are you sure? I can help-"
You block her from opening the next bag. She looks into your gaze, which holds no feeling of malice or resentment. Instead she finds a warn and tender look behind your eyes.
“I’ve got it.”
She listens to your directions and takes a seat
She watches as you prep the ingredients, ever so often asking where she keeps certain things. Otherwise there is a fluid motion to your movements in the kitchen.
“You know you don't have to take them to the arcade just because they took the medicine, right?”
You pause slightly from chopping vegetables to look up at her, “I probably should’ve asked if it was okay with you first, but I don’t mind taking them. They seem like good kids, which isn’t a surprise at all considering they’re your kids.”
She beams at your words, “They’re a little more docile in this state, but they can be a handful at times. We haven’t really had a big outing like that since the divorce, I’m sure they’d appreciate it.”
“Then consider it done, as soon as they’re better let me know. We can all go out and have some fun.”
Wanda can’t help the feeling she gets hearing you talk so nonchalantly about going out with her kids. It’s something like a spark, that she hasn’t felt in a long time. She takes this time to really look at you, you’re stunning. Truth be told Wanda had always found you a little attractive, but she wrote it off as you just being conventionally good looking. However now, with you standing in her kitchen cooking for her and her kids. She’s starting to think it’s more than that.
“Do you like children, Y/n?”
“I have a soft spot for kids, it’s partially why I chose to work at the library. I had kind of a rough upbringing as a kid. It was just me and my mom, and money wasn’t all that great, but I remember her taking me to almost all the community events they hosted at the library. We spent a lot of time there. When I was old enough to go on my own, it was rare that I didn’t go. The library is such a haven for kids it’s one of my favorite things about it.”
Wanda felt herself melting under the sincerity of your words, “That’s really sweet.”
You start cooking down the vegetables before you answer, “Yeah, if I wasn’t so crazy about the library, I would’ve been a chef. I actually applied to a few culinary schools in high school, pretty ambitious but I had won a few competitions. I had offers and full ride scholarships to some of the best schools out there, but I chose to become a librarian instead.”
Wanda tilts her head to the side playfully, “So you weren’t just talking shit when you said you’re going to make a soup 1 million times better than mine.”
You laugh, “Technically I’m using the ingredients that you told me to get, so it’s more like our soup. I’m just tweaking a few measurements and cooking it a little different. It’s like a group project, if you will.”
Wanda laughs even harder, “You’re so full of shit.”
“Language, there are children present.”
Wanda rolls her eyes, “They’re upstairs."
“Children have super good hearing Wanda, trust me, I’m a librarian.”
She shakes her head with a small chuckle. She watches as the soup comes together a lovely aroma fills the kitchen, her mouth waters at just the smell.
“It smells delicious.”
You motion her over to the stove next to you. She scurries over, which makes you smile. She looks utterly adorable and ethereal at the same time. You began to notice it over the last few times you had hung out. Wanda was simultaneously the cutest and the most beautiful woman, you think you’d ever met in your life
“Taste,” you hold a spoon full of soup up for her.
She hesitates a little, but decides to just eat from the spoon while you hold it. Her eyes close as the flavors dance on her tongue. She lets out an involuntary moan, that has her blushing as soon as it leaves her mouth.
“Oh my god, that’s the best soup I’ve ever had in my life,” Wanda stares at you in awe.
“I hope the boys think so too.”
Wanda helps you fill the bowls for them, “They’re going to love it.”
True to her words the boys devour the soup going as far as to ask for seconds. Neither of you can deny them another bowl. Once they eat, you can see the food working in tandem with the medicine to tucker them out. Before they’re completely out of it you and Wanda get them ready for bed.
It feels more normal than either of you expected. By the time you’re done, both twins are now in bed. The tv plays something at a low volume, but you and Wanda are both aware that the kids will likely be asleep as soon as you leave the room.
When you leave you head back to the kitchen fixing 2 more bowls of soup for Wanda and yourself. You eat amongst each other with small chatter, but it’s comfortable. When you’re done, you almost have to fight Wanda to allow you to do the dishes.
She pouts, once again sitting at the barstool watching you clean.
“You haven’t let me help this whole time,” she whines.
“I’m here to help you, not the other way around,” you remind her.
Wanda places her hands on her hips, “But if you’re doing everything, what am I supposed to do?”
“Just sit there and look pretty,” you say without thinking.
Wanda feels her face heating up, losing track of how many times it has happened today alone, “Look pretty, huh?”
You can feel your ears heating with embarrassment, “oh I- well.”
“Oh my god are your ears turning red, that’s literally adorable. Are you flustered, Y/n?” Wanda teases.
You glare at her with faux-anger, “My ears? Your cheeks are just as red.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about?”
You wash your hands, quickly drying them before approaching her. You keep walking until there is virtually no space between the two of you. You look down at her, you don’t stop your eyes from dropping to her lips.
“Oh really?”
She looks up at you, her cheeks indeed, red like you had mentioned.
“And if they were?”
“Maybe I’d say that it’s adorable,” you use her words against her. “Or maybe…”
“Maybe what?” Her eyes dart to your lips.
You look back into her eyes, “Maybe, I’d kiss you.”
“I’d like that.”
That was all you needed to hear. She met you halfway and, in an instant, you were kissing. Your hand rested on the small of her back, while her hands locked around your neck. It was cliché but it was cute. The kiss itself was respectable, but still filled with a feeling of longing.
Wanda’s hands drop from your neck to lightly push you back, “I’m divorced with two kids Y/n-"
You stop her before she can even rant, “I know, Wanda. I’ve been here, maybe not the whole time, but most of it. I don’t care that you’re divorced and I’d love to get to know your kids. I’d love to get to know you better.”
“I feel like you already know me, Y/n. We’ve been friends for over a year now. We’ve spent so much time together, I’m just surprised you’re not tired of me yet.”
You take her hands in yours, “I could never get tired of you. I’m quite literally asking for more. Let me take you out some time.”
“Are you sure?”
It’s bold, but you place a quick kiss on her lips, “Positive."
From there things just seem to fall into place. You kept your promise to the boys, taking them out when they recovered from their sickness. Wanda was impressed by how well you mingled with them considering her ex always seemed to struggle to relate. However you, had no problem tapping into that childlike like amazement that the kids felt.
Soon after that outing, you and Wanda went on your first real date. You took her out to a nice restaurant. It was an upscale establishment, the prices weren’t even on the menu. Wanda tried to fret about how she didn’t know if she deserved this kind of treatment, but you always reassured her.
You believe she deserved the best and as long as you could give it to her you would.
It only took 4 dates before you asked her to be you girlfriends, not being the best at waiting. Luckily for you she agreed and truth be told if you would’ve asked her on the first date she probably would’ve said yes then.
At this point you’ve been dating for a little over a year. The twins are with their father for the weekend, and Wanda is staying over at your apartment.
The two of you are on the couch. She’s resting in your arms as you watch tv, “Wanda.”
She looks up, “Yes, detka.”
“How attached are you to your house?”
Her eyebrows furrow, “Why?”
You hold her gaze, “Is it crazy if I say that I want us to live together?”
Wanda plays with your fingers, “No, I don't think so.”
You kiss her forehead, “It’s just a thought.”
“You want to buy a house?”
You nod curtly, “We don't have to leave the area, I know the boys have school and I wouldn't want to pull them away or make them start fresh or anything, but I’ve been looking at some homes in the area. Something a little bigger, Billy and Tommy could both have their own room and a huge backyard. Maybe a dog, in the future.”
Wanda cups your face gently, pulling you down to kiss her, “I would love to buy a home with you Y/n.”
“Really?”
Wanda kisses you again, “Really.”
“I love you,” your eyes softening as the words fall from your lips.
“I love you too.”
Your lips are connected again, this time neither of you break the kiss. Instead Wanda shifts in your lap to straddle your waist. Her hands playing with the tiny hairs on the back of your neck. Your hands start at her thigh but end up sliding up to her hips, and soon your fingers are in contact with the cool skin of her stomach.
You aren’t able to stop yourself from kissing down her jaw. She moves her hair and cranes her neck to give you more access. Your teeth sink into her neck only for your tongue to soothe the skin. You suck the spot tenderly, causing little whines to emanate from Wanda.
“Y/n,” your name is breathless on her lips.
She doesn't have to say anything else for you to stand up with her still in your arms. You carry her to the bedroom. Once you’re in there and her feet are on the floor, you pull her shirt off. Yours follows after.
Wanda feels herself getting wet under your gaze. The way you take in her bare chest, eyes blown with want. While you stare she gets rid of the rest of her clothes. You eagerly do the same.
You pull her flush against your body. Skin heating upon contact.
“You’re perfect,” your thumb toys with one of her nipples.
Your head dips to take it into your mouth. You suck lightly, ever so often slowly fanning your tongue over the nipple. You do the same to the other nipple, while your hand cups her warmth. You moan at her wetness.
“ I need you,” she whispers.
You kiss her tenderly, backing her onto the bed. You’re gentle as you ease two fingers into her. She arches her back slightly, and her kiss becomes sloppier.
You’re in no rush as you slowly build pace. Her finger nails dig into your back.
“More please,” she buries her head in your neck.
You begin pumping at a faster pace, using your thumb to stimulate her clit. Her ragged breaths in your ear only turn you on even more.
You jolt as you feel her hand in-between your legs. Her fingers play through your folds and you hear her gasp in your ear.
“All for me baby?”
You nod, “All for you, Wands. Can I taste you, baby?”
“Fuck,” Wanda murmurs.
She pulls her fingers from you, signaling for you to suck them. You take them in your mouth, swirling you tongue around the digits, high off of your own taste.
Once her fingers exit your mouth, you maneuver down her body. You momentarily take your fingers out of her. She doesn’t have time to complain before you’re sucking on her clit.
“Holy shit,” she entangles her hands through your hair.
You keep eye contact with her as you lick, suck, and slurp her pussy. She throws her head back, taking her lip between her teeth. You can see sweat illuminating her body.
Soon you add your fingers back and you can feel her approaching her edge.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she keeps repeating the mantra as she reach her peak.
You don’t stop when she cums on your tongue, only slowing your motions, to help her come back down.
“You did so good for me baby,” you say kissing up to her lips.
She shifts so her thigh is against your dripping cunt, “Your turn, my love. Use me.”
You see her flex her thigh, which causes you to moan, “Fuck, Wanda.”
Your hands rest on her shoulder as you begin to grind down on her. Her hands are on you, but the movements are all yours. Wanda watches with blown eyes as you fuck yourself on her thigh. Her hands climb up your sides to massage your breasts. You bite your lip as her fingers play with your nipples.
Wanda sits up slightly, just enough to get her mouth on your body. She sucks on near the top of your breasts, trailing hickeys across.
“I love it when you make a mess on my thigh, cum for me, moya lyubov.”
You cum all over her thigh. Her arms wrap around your midsection holding you steady as you shake. Her head rests against your chest, listening to your wild heart beat return to normal. She places a delicate kiss on your shoulder.
“I love you.”
You kiss the top of her head, “I love you too.”
Once you’re both cleaned up, you settle in bed for the night. You’re start out as the big spoon but soon Wanda turns to face you.
“I was so scared before you came into my life,« she admits.
“Wanda-"
She shakes her head, “Let me finish. I was so lost, I didn't know what to do, if there was anything I could do to feel like myself again. There were so many days I went through thinking I was unlovable. Then you show up, and all of those feelings and thoughts just leave. I’ve never felt so cared for. You make me remember all of the things I love about myself. You make love seem so easy, it feels obvious when you’re with me. I’ve never experienced a love like you’ve given me and I need you to know I love you too. I’ve never felt what I feel for you with anyone else.”
Wanda starts out loud and sure, but by the end her voice is quiet. She doesn’t break eye contact, fighting against her insecurities.
There are no more words shared between the two of you. Wanda kisses you with everything she is feeling and you return her fervor. She pecks you again before burying her head in your chest. You hold her tightly in your arms wondering how you ended up being so lucky.
Her words make emotion swell inside of you. Your voice cracks when you speak, “You are the love of my life. I was doing alright before, but you and the boys are truly everything I’ve been missing in my life. Getting to be with you, a part of your family, it means everything to me Wanda. Thank you, for letting me love you.”
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vaquerolvr · 11 hours ago
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so… if we have your sexuality hcs what about their types?
(and maybe how would they approach their future s/o? maybe with a letter or just straight up “i like you”)
hope you’re doing good and staying hydrated
-🍂
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i tried to focus on personality rather than physical appearance so idk if it’s exactly what you wanted. sorry if it sucks, i am trapped in a car again. Free Me.
price
his type
dilf/milf enjoyer
he wants someone who’s caring but also independent
who can handle themselves when he runs off on missions for weeks at a time
how he’d ask you out
is weirdly blunt about it
sounds like he’s negotiating a business deal
(the overly formal language is to hide that he’s nervous)
gaz
his type
people who don’t take things too seriously
carefree but not childish yknow?
how he’d ask you out
smooth af
has you laughing and blushing so much that you don’t even realize you’ve agreed to anything
until you’re alone later and you’re like “wait did he mean a friend date or a Date-“
ghost
his type
not picky about appearances, focuses more on personality
someone who has their shit together because he definitely doesn’t
how he’d ask you out
doesn’t
bottles his feelings up until he dies
being serious, it would take literal years because even if you were giving him the clearest signs that you like him, he’d still gaslight himself into thinking you’re not attracted to him
it would probably take one of the guys pushing him into it and he’d be fully expecting you to reject him
soap
his type
women who look like they can kill him
most important thing for him is hygiene/self-care
not necessarily a bodybuilder,, just like someone who takes care of themselves
idk how to explain this
how he’d ask you out
just blurts it out randomly
you don’t take him seriously at first
so he gets friend-zoned like ten times before you realize he’s serious and go out with him
alejandro
his type
i hate to say it but he’s definitely one of those guys who likes to be coddled
so someone who’s caring and affectionate (and clingy, like him)
how he’d ask you out
surprisingly sweet about it
he falls hard and fast and he doesn’t want you to underestimate how much he cares about this/you
he’s a fan of big gestures
so he brings mariachi and one of those big ass bouquets to your house
rudy
his type
just,,, someone who’s not dumb
he deals with alejandro’s antics enough
he just wants someone with common sense
how he’d ask you out
i think he’s a bit old fashioned
so he spends weeks ‘courting’ you before actually making a move
similar to alejandro but he does it somewhere private so there’s no pressure (or nosy neighbors recording)
graves
his type
emotionally vulnerable people who rely on him
WHAT WHO SAID THAT
tbh i don’t think he has a ‘type’
he just likes what he likes
but if he had to pick, he prefers partners with experience
how he’d ask you out
again: doesn’t
you just wake up one day and realize you’ve been dating him for the past two years
makarov
his type
confidence
doesn’t care what you look like, having a confident demeanor is enough to catch his eye
how he’d ask you out
kidnapping someone counts as asking them out, right?
keegan
his type
alternative fashion (specifically goths)
personality wise, someone who’s not afraid to call him on his shit/speak up in general
how he’d ask you out
nothing fancy, just casually asks one day
is really nonchalant about it but nearly throws up from excitement when you say yes
nikolai
his type
he needs someone who matches his freak
and by that i mean, someone who won’t even blink if he comes home with 5 stray cats one day
so just someone who’s generally chill and laidback
how he’d ask you out
hear me out-
you spend months agonizing over whether you’re just friends or if he likes you
and when you finally ask him, he’s just “wdym do i like you? haven’t we been dating for the past four months??”
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omgahgase · 1 day ago
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Charthur short
Charles breaks his bow and Arthur gets him a new very special one 🥰
hello there! sorry this lil ask took too long, and sorry that it's not short haha. i love the idea of arthur doing anything for charles bc He's In Love, so here's my take of their relationship before getting together. i hope you enjoy!
It’s a well-known fact in camp and by his friends and by just about anyone that’s asked Arthur for any help making anything outside his expertise of shitty knives:
Arthur ain’t no craftsman.
Yeah, he can chip away at a rock and wrap it around a stick then call it an arrow, and he can weave a basket—nothing else, though, that’s about as far as he can get without Jack or one of the girls aiding his helpless fingers—and, sure, he can tie up a piece of line to any broken branch and head on down to the lake with the world’s most God awful fishing pole, but the truth still stands.
If Arthur had to choose between crafting someone an item and not having it fall apart after its first use, or getting shot in the mouth…Well, then, Arthur’s making sure that bullet goes straight through his throat and out the back of his head.
So why, in God’s green Earth, is Arthur making a new bow for Charles after he broke his old one?
‘Because you love him,’ Arthur thinks, gentle in the same way his cheeks redden at the mere thought of Charles, in correction to Eagle Flies’ snarky, “I don’t know, you asked me for help,” that lights up a spark of irritation in Arthur’s gut, makes Arthur want to shove him off the log he’s perched on.
“This may be the most foolish thing I’ve ever done,” Arthur says, twirling the knife in his hand that’s speckled in his own blood.
He stares at the piece of chokecherry wood in front of him, the branch now thinner than when Arthur chopped it off and whittled it down to a poor, uneven shape that hardly resembles a stick let alone a bow. It took a little over a month to get the wood and then season it, this process he wanted to do himself because it’s special, Eagle Flies said, to put your emotions into a piece of Earth and ask the land if it’s okay to take a piece of its tree for his own desires—for Charles, his mind keeps saying. So he can’t screw it up unless he wants to start all over again. Arthur can’t afford mistakes, but his project laughs at him, it seems, and Arthur, finding himself comfortable in his frustration, wants to burn it.
“A fool in love is stronger than any beast or man he encounters,” Eagle Flies says, crafting improved arrows to Arthur’s right. He holds one up to his eye and stares down the line of it. “Your affection for Charles is deep, therefore, your actions are foolish.” He shrugs, and motions for Arthur to keep whittling. “Keep going. You're nearly there.”
“I almost lost a finger.”
“Your lover will thank you.”
Arthur feels his cheeks go from warm to uncomfortably hot. He tips his hat down over his eyes to hide the deep blush spreading over his face. “Charles ain’t my lover,” he mumbles, a correction to a hopeful assumption.
Eagle Flies only hums as he places his arrow in his pile and Arthur kinda wants to fire all of them into the distance just so his friend can feel an inkling of his annoyance. Arthur does understand that Charles will be grateful, however, no matter how shitty his new bow may turn out. Sadie gave Arthur the suggestion, said that it’ll take Charles months to construct a new bow while Arthur can figure something out and get a new one in his hands in less than that, and Arthur—with his squirrel brain that as of five months, two weeks, and six days ago (but, really, who’s counting?) hasn’t been able to keep Charles Smith out of his head—ran with it. He overestimated his abilities in the fine art of craftsmanship (and thinking with any logical parts of his brain when it comes to Charles) and damn near killed himself gathering everything he needed to make a bow.
Arthur sought out Eagle Flies not too long after Sadie planted the seedling of the thought in his head, asking him what it’d take to trade so he could get his hands on any materials ready for bow crafting. Eagle Flies, with a light in his eyes and a kick in his step, rattled off a list of items his tribe needed. Fresh berries from the West Grizzlies, wolf and cougar pelts, big game from The Heartlands, eagle feathers from the highest cliffs of Donner Falls. He even had to wipe out a few rowdy stragglers who were camped up too close to the tribe, something Eagle Flies said about his father not wanting to wander into outlaw affairs so Arthur best get the job done because it won’t be too suspicious if a Van der Linde boy does it.
After choosing his tree and setting it out to dry, Arthur spent the better half of the week hunting and gathering, putting his neck out on the line for anything that can make Charles a bow as good as the one he made himself, and by the time he had everything he needed in his possession, he was more bruised and bloody than a shitty bull rider at the state fair.
Arthur knows it’ll be worth it, though. If it means he can do something for Charles—and maybe crack a smile outta him, Arthur’s a greedy bastard down to his core and he needs to be on the receiving end of just one of Charles’ rare grins—then Arthur will gladly do it all over again.
He huffs, loudly, and gathers up the remaining incentive to keep going. Eagle Flies said he's almost done whittling, then all that's left is to string the sinew, and add little decorative designs along the shape of it because every bow is different, none is ever exactly the same. That’s what Eagle Flies told him when Arthur first started this journey.
‘Every bow is unique in its own way. Make it your own.’
‘But it’s not for me,’ Arthur had said. ‘I’m makin’ it for Charles.’
Eagle Flies only looked at him, wearing the same face Sadie wore when she gave him the idea. ‘Make it for him, then, but give a piece of yourself into every step. Put your emotions into your craft, and make it yours. Both of yours.’
‘Make it ours,’ Arthur reminds himself as he gets back to work.
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One month, twenty-six days, and seven hours. That’s how long it took him to make a bow.
Arthur has more scars on his hands now than he ever did before he set out to make this gift, which granted him the full understanding of the saying ‘putting in the blood, sweat, and tears’ into something you love. Arthur loves Charles more than he thinks is capable of a man like him, so why wouldn’t he put in all his effort?
He’d do just about anything for Charles, that’s been established a long time, maybe even back then in Colter when Charles suffered from a burnt hand and Arthur did everything in his power to make sure he didn’t injure it any further. That was the start of it all, Arthur believes, and now in the present time, Arthur isn’t tending to his wounds anymore, instead, he’s tending to the ache in his chest telling him to do grand displays of affection. Like crafting an entirely new bow when Arthur is the shittiest craftsman from here to Blackwater.
Arthur sucks in a deep breath to steel the jitters in his hands, his fingers clutching at the leather wrapping of the bow like a lifeline, and walks a little way down to the lake’s shoreline. Flat Iron Lake ain’t that much to look at it in the daytime, the heat of Lemoyne making the sand feel like hot rocks and the water like a warm bath, but in the evenings, when the sun’s setting just right, a blaze sparks across the horizon, makes the bright blue of the water’s surface turn a flower petal pink, then a dusky orange.
It’s pretty, hell, Arthur would even say it’s beautiful, but he won’t. Nah, the most beautiful thing about the lake is when Charles stands at the water’s edge, his features painted in the ever-changing color of the sky, his hair long and wavy down his back, the outline of his frame strong, sturdy like a mountain, and just as gorgeous. He just stares out into the water, soaking it in, eyes soft in the setting sun, and Arthur can’t think of anything prettier.
Arthur swallows down the nervous lump in his throat, then, “‘Scuse me, Mr. Smith,” he calls.
Charles turns, his fair falling in front of his eyes when he sees Arthur, and, suddenly, it’s only them. Call it Arthur’s tunnel vision—hell, even call him crazy if it fits—but at the moment Charles fully faces him, the barest hint of a smile on his face (is he surprised? Arthur hopes so), the lake, camp, everything around them falls away.
“Hello, Arthur,” Charles greets, meeting him halfway along the shore’s edge. He stops just shy of a foot away, and Arthur has to resist the urge to pull him closer. “Aren’t you supposed to be working on that stagecoach job with John?”
“Nah, Martson can handle it.” Arthur clears his throat, then, before his brain can tell him to high tail it back to his tent, he thrusts out the leather wrapping. “I got somethin’ for you.”
Charles’ eyebrows knit together quizzically before he looks down as if just realizing it was there, his lips going all pouty in that way he does when he doesn’t understand something. “What’s the occasion?” He asks, gingerly taking the wrappings and undoing the ties.
“No occasion, Mr. Smith. It’s just—well, I thought that um—” Before Arthur can stop himself, his mind going from overly polite to ‘Don’t say anythin’ stupid,’ his mouth kicks into overdrive and rambles a string of words in a single breath.
“I know you broke your bow last time you went huntin’, and it’s hard tryin’ to find somethin’ like that in any ‘ol store, so I made you a new one—it ain’t as pretty as your last one—shoot, it probably don’t work much better neither, but I made it—for you—so I hope it gets the job done.”
Arthur’s head swims woozy by the time his words fall free, and his gut churns with anticipation as Charles looks upon the bow, his expression hidden by the shadow of the descending sun. Arthur’s feet are leaden to the ground, his hands trembling a shake so violent he hides them behind his back, and after a few seconds of agonizing silence, of Charles tracing the curved line of his new weapon with a delicate finger and tweaking the sinew strings, he lifts his head. Arthur’s heart jumps into his throat.
“You made this?” He asks, marveled, eyes the softest shade of brown Arthur’s ever seen on him.
Arthur clears his throat, manages a croaked, “Yeah.”
Charles just continues to feel it, grips over the leather wrapping of the middle part, and then, as if in a trance, his eyes land on the engravings just above. His thumb runs over it, gently, as if the bison might disappear if he’s not careful.
“You did this too?” His voice is so deep, so soft as if he’s speaking to Arthur in a dream that Arthur almost misses his question.
“Yeah. Eagle Flies helped, a ‘lil. Actually, he’s the one who taught me how to make it. I didn’t—I wanted to do it right.” The ‘for you’ threatens to barrel roll from his lips but Arthur swallows it down, forcing it to the back of his throat. “Bison are important to your family. So,” he shrugs, trying to pass it off as nonchalant when his body’s buzzing like a hummingbird.
Charles’ eyes land on the second engraving, a buck that sits just below the leather, and something in the way he spoke, like a gentle rustle in the grass, shook Arthur to his core. “Is this you?”
Arthur nods, steps a little closer so he can brush his fingers over the buck too, just shy of Charles’ own. “The lines took the longest. Almost lost a finger while doin’ it.” Charles chuckles, endeared, and he’s smiling, a small barely there upturn of his lips that Arthur wants to sketch and keep in his pocket forever. “Eagle Flies said to make it special, to, y’know, make it my own. It’s yours, though, but I still wanted to have a ‘lil bit of myself there. So it’s—it’s kinda like ours—in a way, I guess.”
Arthur bites his tongue, stopping himself from saying anything else that will make his face redder than a fire ant’s ass. He hopes the flaming rays of the sun can cover his blush, but even his luck can’t make miracles.
“It’s beautiful,” Charles says, so earnestly that Arthur’s heart drops from his throat and does a can-can number in his chest. “It’s like you’ll be with me wherever I go.”
“I’ll go anywhere with you, Charles,” Arthur counters, baffled by the thought that he wouldn’t follow Charles to the end of the Earth. If he asked or not, Arthur’s with him.
Charles stares at him, then, equally as mystified. “You will?”
As if Arthur would be anywhere else. “Always.”
It’s Charles’ turn to surprise him, then, by lunging into Arthur’s person with the force of a bolder. He hugs him tight, squeezes around Arthur’s shoulders, and tucks his face close to his ear. He doesn’t say anything, not until Arthur’s body catches up to his brain and he wraps his arms around Charles’ middle, holding on just as close.
“Thank you, Arthur. No one’s ever given me something like this, or ever treated me this nice before.”
“I will,” Arthur says, his voice muffled by the fabric of Charles’ shirt, but still holding so much weight to it that Charles steps in until the entirety of their bodies are pressed together. “You’re my friend, Charles. I would do anyin’ for you.”
Charles sucks in a sharp breath. “Thank you.”
They separate far too quickly for Arthur’s liking, the sun nearly gone behind the mountains and the moon already high in the sky. Charles continues to stare at his gift as if he can’t believe it’s actually his like he can’t imagine someone going out of their way to give him something as heartfelt.
(In the back of his mind, Arthur vows to break that train of thought, to make Charles believe he’s not just put on this Earth to hurt, but to live, and, hopefully, to love.)
But still, even if Charles likes it, Arthur still has to say, “Sorry if it ain’t as good as your old one.”
“Don’t be a fool,” Charles scolds, his eyebrows knitting together. “It’s perfect.”
Arthur rolls his eyes. “You and I both know my craftsmanship is shit. You don’t even know how it shoots.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Arthur. You’re more of a wonder than you think you are.” He smiles, then, closed mouth and so sweet that his cheeks bunch up under his eyes, and Arthur officially goes dumb. “Come. Practice with me while we still have light.”
He brushes past Arthur, up the little hill towards the small clearing near camp. When Arthur doesn’t move because he’s too busy reeling at granted something so small and special, something no one else in camp gets to see, Charles calls out to him.
“You coming with me, cowboy?”
Immediately, Arthur is next to him, standing so close their knuckles brush and a spark shoots out somewhere in the distance.
“Always.”
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unistaryo · 3 days ago
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Hey I read recently one of your works and I really enjoy your style of writing and I find the way you write really comforting!!🙃☺️ I was going to ask if you could do headcannons on Alucard as a dad with another vampire. (I know canonically it wouldn’t happen ever but i was just curious lol)
Alucard as a dad with a vampire child (headcanons)
//I don't know how, but I somehow got extremely sick💀. So I'm sorry if this is ooc
I feel like you will most likely adopt a child who was turned into a vampire during a mission, immediately taking the role of a caretaker and forcing Alucard to do the same
The first couple of days or months he wouldn't really accept the role of the father figure
It would take a lot of convincing from your side for him to even stop trying to get you to stop parenting the child
He sees himself as someone who failed as a human, who willingly became a monster and he is very aware of his nature, Alucard can't comprehend how you can even think about him in such a positive way
But he will eventually comply in his own twisted way, maybe after your child has proven that while they can be a creature of the night, they still have some sort of humanity in them
maybe the child drank blood from an animal but is still compassionate to other people
Alucard loves and hates the child's innocence at the same time
He sometimes teaches your child how to control their vampiric powers, but it will mainly remain your responsibility (he's afraid the child will take too much after him)
He will definitely tease you a lot about your parental tendencies like "Where are you going? You know, you can barely handle one"
Despite this, his love and respect for you increased even more than before, again because he seems to value determination, will and courage
Alucard will definitely bring the child on a mission, maybe on one who isn't so bloody as usual. If you aren't on board with this he will do it in secret, unless you talk to Integra
Integra will command him to stop until the child has grown
The vampire does have his dad moments, trust me
He melts every time he sees you and his kid having a moment
If somebody other than a few range of specific people dares to comment about you two in a bad way, that person will either be traumatized for life to straight up killed
Alucard will play a lot with your child, he isn't far from teaching him how to transform and many more
Those two will prank soldiers in the most unhinged way
The child will love horror and adventure movies with extreme violence in the future, trust me
But, given how Alucard is one of their main caretakers, they will also become violent and mess with people on purpose (Alucard will either be entertained or curse himself because of this)
If something happens to the child, BLOOD WILL BE SHATTERED
He will have no mercy on whoever even looks at his kid in a weird way
(in Ultimate) Seras and Pip would be more than happy to help with babysitting, and the overall process of taking care of the child, more Seras actually, but Pip finds a good opportunity to get closer to the vampire
In the end, both of them will become extremely attached to your kid
Integra will remain distant, but it is clear she also cares a lot about the child, often forgetting they are a vampire
Walter will provide with the necessities but won't be extremely involved. But he will babysit from time to time, and even train them in small ways
(in 2001) Seras will help like her ultimate counterpart, but I feel like she will take them out more, even showing them her old home
Here, Integra will be a lot more distant, letting comments slip more often regarding the situation, but still cares immensely about them, even if she doesn't show it
I don't know why, but I feel that this version of Walter is more fatherly, so I think he will be more involved in the child's life, maybe even letting them accompany him in the mansion when he doesn't have an important task
Peter Fargason will sometimes entertain the child in small ways, only if the others aren't looking, but will mostly keep his distance
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fallbhind · 4 hours ago
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oh boy sam how could u do this to me. no happy ending, your just oh so mean to me. i just fully woke up after shoving two hot chocolates in my system and some morning reading time, how could you hurt me so.
“‘i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner — i was afraid that you wouldn’t stick around. considering that..’ you paused. it developed into silence with tension that i could slice with a knife. ‘that..?’ i furrowed my eyebrows. ‘you can tell me anything — c’mon i wouldn’t leave you over something small y’know that rig —’ ‘i have morning sickness.. and i’m late on my period.’ ‘i think i’m pregnant, alec’” oh chawowwow bang what the freaky deaky, what an great way to start such an angsty dangsty fic. it’s just starting, felt it in my bones.
“it’s been five whole months. the news were shocking, that was for sure and i took a bit to grow used to that fact. especially since i had to come to terms that i was becoming a father. i didn’t necessairily have any experience, growing up in a laboratory could do that to someone. i mean, i was taught to be an X5, a soldier, a cold-blooded killer. i wasn’t dealt with the best cards since day one. and now i had to raise a child. the worst part was, i didn’t even know how. i never had a childhood, how should i give another tiny human one? one that’d have my genetics. the same genetics i was given from dear old manticore scientists.” alec being built as a cold blooded killer, my boy better suit up, my buddies gonna be a father, at least he knows that he gots to raise baby darcy. he’s got so much doubt in himself about being a father, he’ll be the best daddy out there, giving his kid a childhood.
“you didn’t even know i was a transgenic.” how could he keep such a big old secret from you.
“another one of them was hanging out with our friends. ‘we aren’t naming the baby darcy.” max butted in, shaking her head. “name him max.” she suggested, smirking and looked at you. “why should we name the baby max? are you the baby daddy?” i raised a brow as i asked the question. ‘no, but i’m gonna be his auntie and teach him all sorts of cool stuff.’ ‘cool stuff being.. riding a motorcycle and almost degloving your whole arm more than once.” i commented, a laugh escaping me. ‘we already have one badass we don’t need our little baby here to be another one who possibly gets killed in a motorcycle crash.’ you looked at me, then at max. ‘What makes you think it’ll be a boy?’ the questioned escaped your lips which made me focus on you for a moment, my eyes lingered over your visible bump and then your face.” darcy is a great name, but i defo leaned on max because she would teach darcy all the best motorcycle tricks, the special edition bag with the concussion on the side.
“i was a father. i had my own little mini me — mini us in my arms. her little wailing broke my heart until she calmed down in your arms — and then she was in my own. she was so petite and had the cutest eyes. they were filled with curiosity. i watched as she looked around, no clue in the world. it just made me want to break down into more tears. but i had to stay strong. for our baby. for you. and for our new little family.” oh how cute—i’m so happy, this is happy fiction(convincing myself everything is good, this is a happy fic)
“and i worry that i’ll be a bad influence on my little princess. make her keep others at arm length. because i want her to be like you. i want her to be independent and isn’t afraid to get what she wants. but what if i’ll be in the way of that —? and that causes her to hate me because she grew up to be just like me. a cold hearted soldier. what if she had enhanced abilities like him? and she would be an outcast all her life.” freak u sammy. the wording was literally was so perfect., ,,, BUT HOW COULD U CALL BABY DARCY AN OUTCAST. i’d love her to the best of my ability. 🤺🤺🤺 throw hands with anyone who decides to be an ass.
“she couldn’t cry because she’s been at it for more than an hour, and her little tear — engine ran out.” awh my poor baby’s tear engine ran out, my oh my give the child attention alec.
“i rocked her as gentle as i possibly could back and forth, my eyes focused on her. ‘oh my angel,’ i started, being careful to do it quiet enough so you wouldn’t stir awake. ‘come back — to me.’ ‘and i will love you.’ ‘'til eternity.’” gosh he’s atotalsweetatothepeaawithbabydarcy
“with time, i just felt like an awful father. especially now that you were out and about more often and i was basically a stay—at—home dad and i had a tear-soaked shirt from our baby in my arms.” he feels like a terrible father, though all babies cry a lot. oh and being a stay at home dad is such a cuteies poostie thingy i’ve seen yet.
“i shut the eye she was grasping the eyelashes from and squinted with the other, scrunching my face together. “attacking and pulling at my innocent eyelashes, are we? that’s very un-lady like, angel.” i scolded lightly — trying to focus on walking and not dropping her or the bottle before settling on taking a seat.” oh don’t scold her those eyelashes aren’t so innocent (I’m mad he didn’t tell reader about being transgenic crazy soldier).
“‘dah’ darcy babbled once more, squeezing at my cheek. ‘yeah, exactly, dah.’ i nodded and softly pinched her cheek between my index and thumb. ‘three months old and she’s babbling and cooing like crazy.’ you mentioned, my eyes flew to yours. ‘just like you.” i teased, laughing. ‘not true!’ you gasped. ‘in fact, very untrue!’” that made me laugh, actually. it did.
“darcy was five months old now. i was working my ass off to keep her sheltered and safe. i had a whole list of things i had to be very careful with before handling her. she was so miniscule and helpless, relying on both of us to take care of her. hence why i wanted to keep her as satisfied as possible — well.. as satisfied as you can keep a baby.. which isn’t as easy as other people might make it seem. although, today, i had a bottle of milk. so i was going in to feed her some more. and as i tried to put the bottle in her mouth, she looked confused before she started flinging her arms around and spat it out, her eyes filling with tears.” what did u do sam… what did u do sam I am with ur green eggs and ham???
““Dada..” She so desperately wanted my attention. She softened her expression into just a pout. “Dada!” She repeated, pointing at the sink. “Aba.” Back to her little babbles. She then formed her fingers into a C shape to make it seem like she was holding a cup to then signal that she wanted a glass of water.” understand the whirlwind i’m going through, she finally said dada and she’s drinking water not formula of shadooks i’m gonna bawl my little freaky to the deaky eyes put.
“Her hand was still so tiny in comparison to mine. But enough to be able to hold it in my own. And then I slowly moved to the sink in the kitchen in the same speed as DARCY moved, to not overwhelm her.” remember, deep breaths. deep breaths it’s not real you can’t actually have a child yet (immence baby fever)
“Careful, angel. Don’t fall!” I yelled, intensely watching her as she began to run around as fast as she could. I lifted my eyes off her for a moment and glanced at you. “I never expected to have a little family with you.. this soon. And.. see DARCY so happy with the.. pulse, trashy town and all.” I finally admit to you, watching as you glared at me. “Me either.” “She reminds me of you.” I mentioned, my emerald green eyes focused on yours. “And she reminds me of you, too.” i’m actually so happy she started running. she’s so gonna be flash 2.0
“I couldn’t say that one single word. It was too much. Saying that one word made it official. Too official. I just can’t — right? I should be protecting her. Not whatever i’m doing. I can’t. I should be fighting for her. No child should hear the word ‘Goodbye’. I am the worst father in the world. A disgrace. I got a gift, a blessing. My DARCY. And i’d be throwing it in the trash. They told me they‘re going to get her and. The ink was blotchy from there forward, making the words unreadable. Fingertips went beneath the next page, a moment of hesitation. You turned the page.” fuck if I’ve ever not punched air i’m punching it super hard rn. i need happy endings (pushing a psychotic break to bring me in a State Of Zen.
“SHES gone. I failed her.” who tf is cutting onions stwap it. it’s nwat funny. freak j sam making em go through this shit. freak u freaku
“The journal ended there. Confusion and fear filled you reading those pages. Why did he keep track of her since birth? Was Alec insane? Did he do something to DARCY? Those questions lingered in your head far longer than anticipated. You knew your little girl had been gone for a month or so. But Alec seemed too busy at the Crash, drowning himself in alcohol. Even though he never got drunk. You didn’t know why. It was fucking strange. You spent hours looking for her. And then you stumbled upon a box. Hidden in the ceiling in a little box in the corner. And you found thirteen journals. Each year — except seven had two journals he could write all 365 days in. But he highlighted some. Were those his favorites? Did he lose his shit and imagine someone came after your daughter when in reality, he was the danger all this time? You shook your head. You shouldn’t try to get conspiracy theorist on a guy who spent day and night showering her with love. He must’ve had a logical explanation. Right?” yeah he never got drunk ‘til his child disappeared tf. crying because i’m going through it rn and finishing this up is just a fucking roller coaset cos he didn’t write all three sixty five hundred days a year cos darcy baby is(not was cos i’m in denial) so important. he definitely lost his shit for not getting his shit together for nit writing all year long. i want alec w severe arthritis in both wrists.
“I didn’t fucking do anything to her! Why are you accusing me of such utter bullshit!?” Alec shouted, he was fuming. “I loved her to fucking pieces! That was the only wrong I did. I made those journals to read back incase I forgot anything!? Is that such a fucking crime?!” You stared at him. “Your last entry?” “If you wanna kep on with your conspiracy theories, what’s the fucking point?!” WHIPLASH. GET’ER GIRL !!!!! grchie chow, grrr chie chie. make him stop w “kep”ing those conspiracies
““I assumed you’d say that. Well, X5-494. You give me the child with legal rules or we will kill your family.” Alec stared at her in disbelief. “You wouldn’t kill a pregnant person —” She laughed, “Oh, no, I wouldn’t. They would, though.” She gestured to the men behind her. “The offer I give you is better than what others wanted. You see.. you can keep the child until the age of seven. After the seventh birthday, my men will get the child. And if you are lucky enough and the child is human.. you’ll get them back. However, if not, we’ll keep them.”” wtf i’m in such an emothing whisplash this hurts what the seven whiplashes???????
“He was on his knees, hallucinating his fucking daughter. He has lost it.” dw alec i’m currentlh loathing my fucking shit 2
“He paused. The thick maroon colored liquid was blending with the gray floor. He forgot how to breathe, his eyes welled up with tears. And then the guards brought him closer to the room. A bigger puddle of that thick, deep red colour. It was so vibrant — and it most likely came from his little girl. He had failed her. He was doomed to be a terrible father from the start.” i literally started balling. sam u need to do a part two &&. be like “SYCH BITCHES I GOT U” pretty please
In fucking concluded this shit is great but i balled the shit out of my eue balls.
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Oh My Angel ? — alec mcdowell
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— CONTAINS : girldad!alec | mom!reader | heavy angst | possibly implied child murder ( i do not condone murder nor is this fic in any way shape or form supporting it, it is fanfiction ) | grieving | description of blood | dont read the ending | afab!reader | i refer to reader as you
> PS. @a1ecmcdowell made me do it with her hey june fic ( which ghis fic is heavily ib by ). sorry in advance. + i didn’t proofread
— SUMMARY : an unexpected pregnancy falls onto you & alecs lap, causing you both to have a bumpy ride into parenthood due to the circumstances with The Pulse and your medical care — or well, lack there of. although, it doesn’t get any better when you two get to hold your baby.. it actually just gets worse — but you don’t know it.
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THE BEGINNING
I hadn’t expected to find out through Logan, of all people, that somethings been going on with you. He told me, in an unexpected way.. which was whilst I paid him a quick visit, that you’ve been feeling quite unwell, you told him but not me, already strange enough.. And he went on, said that you’ve been having ups and downs regarding your physical health. And, as any normal person would do, I worried.
But, it didn’t take me long before I went to your workplace. Jam Pony — where I worked, aswell. Except it was my day off.
Considering Normal was so very fond of me that I could take any amount of time off without him batting an eye. Being the Golden Boy came with its perks and flaws. Today it was most definitely a perk considering I could just waltz in and ask for you.
“Oh, right over there.” directed me to you with a point of his finger.
I immediately made my way to you, putting one foot in front of the other until I reached you at your locker, shoving some random things in there. “Hey.” I greeted you, my green eyes probably proving to you that I had something on my mind. “Oh.” You didn’t seem quite pleased to see me. You looked surprised — given the fact that it was etched into your expression.
“Don’t look too happy to see me.” I replied, the tone in which I spoke in had an edge of concern to it.
“No — no, it’s not you. I just thought you had your day off.” A moment of silence was exchanged between the both of us. “I do.” I sighed, pressing my lips together. “You don’t look too hot.” I pointed out, with furrowed eyebrows. “I just caught a cold, is all.” You answered. “You sure that’s it? Logan seemed to have other concerns.” I finally remarked, a scoff escaping my lips.
“He told you?!” I heard the pissed off tone in your voice. “Just ‘cause he knew you wouldn’t tell me.” I raised an eyebrow, “Care to tell me what all that is about?”
“Look.. I was meaning to tell you but I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I just.. well, I thought..” You paused. “Can we continue this conversation somewhere where Max, Cindy and Sketchy can’t hear us?” I pretended to think for a moment. “Maybe.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “You came here to talk to me and when I want too you tell me ‘maybe’ what is your logi —”
“Seems to me you still don’t know when i’m sarcastic, baby.” I stifled a laugh that threatend to escape my mouth. “Oh.. oh you annoying little —”
“I gotta stop you right there. You wanna go somewhere more private or do you wanna keep letting me provoking you?” And with that, you grabbed my forearm and dragged me into the backroom of Jam Pony. I waved to Max and Cindy on the way there. They — especially Max seemed uninterested which got a chuckle out of me.
And then the silence engulfed the both of us. “So..” I started, clearing my throat.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner — I was afraid that you wouldn’t stick around. Considering that..” You paused. It developed into silence with tension that I could slice with a knife. “That..?” I furrowed my eyebrows. “You can tell me anything — c’mon I wouldn’t leave you over something small y’know that rig —”
“I have morning sickness.. and i’m late on my period.”
“I think i’m pregnant, Alec”
BUMPY RIDE INTO PARENTHOOD
IT’S been five whole months. The news were shocking, that was for sure and I took a bit to grow used to that fact. Especially since I had to come to terms that I was becoming a father. I didn’t necessairily have any experience, growing up in a laboratory could do that to someone. I mean, I was taught to be an X5, a soldier, a cold-blooded killer. I wasn’t dealt with the best cards since day one.
And now I had to raise a child. The worst part was, I didn’t even know how. I never had a childhood, how should I give another tiny human one? One that’d have my genetics. The same genetics I was given from dear old Manticore scientists.
You didn’t even know I was a transgenic. I wasn’t sure if you’d still love me or want to keep the child after that ( though, you couldn’t exactly abort it if you didn’t, because medical care was impossible to get after The Pulse ).. Because everyone would react completely normal if they’d get told that ‘our baby could possibly have enhanced abilities because of me, sorry!’.
On the positive side, you began to grow a baby bump. You were glowing. And I honestly tried my best to make this ride as stress-free as possible for you.
With my worst attempts, obviously. To name a couple, I sang Oh My Angel to your growing stomach, a couple lyrics i’ve heard from that song back at Manticore. I would also give you massages and joke around with you randomly and not to mention, tease you so you’d be more focused on being annoyed than the unhinged cravings you so badly wanted to give into.
Another one of them was hanging out with our friends. “We aren’t naming the baby DARCY.” Max butted in, shaking her head. “Name him Max.” She suggested, smirking and looked at you. “Why should we name the baby Max? Are you the baby daddy?” I raised a brow as I asked the question. “No, but i’m gonna be his auntie and teach him all sorts of cool stuff.”
“Cool stuff being.. riding a motorcycle and almost degloving your whole arm more than once.” I commented, a laugh escaping me. “We already have one badass we don’t need our little baby here to be another one who possibly gets killed in a motorcycle crash.” You looked at me, then at Max. “What makes you think it’ll be a boy?” The questioned escaped your lips which made me focus on you for a moment, my eyes lingered over your visible bump and then your face.
“Just a feeling, a girls gotta do when a girls gotta do.” She responded, crossing her legs. “She bet on it with Cindy.” Logan corrected, furrowing his brows. “I gotta get my money.” Max added, confident.
The same day, just a little later when Max left with Logan, I was making some pasta you told me you started craving. I wasn’t a chef, God knows I haven’t touched a pan in the entirety of my time on earth. But considering I had enhanced intelligence and I was a transgenic, it shouldn’t be too hard.
“DARCY ain’t a bad name, is it?” I eventually prompted, stirring the pot of raw pasta, picking it up carefully and making sure I strained the water. “We’ll just have to wait and see.” You answered me pretty simply.
I turned my head over my shoulder, my eyes meeting yours as you sat neatly by the counter. I then placed the empty pot to the side. “Meaning?” I prompted, eyes concentrating on you. “Well, I mean if we hold the baby in our arms, we’ll figure it out.” I processed your words, rolling my shoulders in a shrug. “I suppose.” I then continued on with the pasta.
“How come you’re craving pasta today? I barely see you eating any.” I eventually questioned, currently mixing the pasta with the sauce. “The baby asks, the baby gets.” You stated. “Well, I suppose this’ll be practice for our pasta-loving baby in your stomache.” I noted, my voice playful transferring the pasta to a plate. “I guess so.”
“A plate of pasta for the lady and the little one.” I finally said, picking up a fork and sliding the plate of pasta in front of you on the counter. I observed you picking up the fork. “You seem to be doing a lot of work.. research, too.” You mentioned, which was true. I had been reading up on random parental guide books and asking women with babies at libraries for advice, as awkward as it is.
“I guess I just don’t want to fail our little DARCY.”
DAY 1 / 2556
NEWBORN ADDED TO THE FAMILY
TODAY, our little DARCY was born. I held her little tiny body covered in an equally sized blanket. As anyone can find out pretty easily, we found out our princess’ gender. A little baby girl. She was so little I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. It was the biggest moment of both your life and my own.
I was a father.
I had my own little mini me — mini us in my arms. Her little wailing broke my heart until she calmed down in your arms — and then she was in my own. She was so petite and had the cutest eyes. They were filled with curiosity. I watched as she looked around, no clue in the world. It just made me want to break down into more tears. But I had to stay strong. For our baby. For you.
And for our new little family.
I was afraid. That was something I had to admit. I was afraid — what if I couldn’t be a good father? What if she needed something and I couldn’t give it to her — and you were exhausted so I take care of her and then she starts wailing and screaming — so I stand there cradling her and rocking her back and forth to no avail?
What if she grew up like me?
Became someone like me, a little arrogant and cocky version of me. And no traces of you in her. Apart from physical appearances — because she had your hair color.
And I worry that i’ll be a bad influence on my little princess. Make her keep others at arm length. Because I want her to be like you. I want her to be independent and isn’t afraid to get what she wants. But what if i’ll be in the way of that —? And that causes her to hate me because she grew up to be just like me. A cold hearted soldier.
What if she had enhanced abilities like him? And she would be an outcast all her life.
But then I look down at her in my arms. Her little tear-filled eyes looking up at me. She couldn’t cry because she’s been at it for more than an hour, and her little tear — engine ran out. You’ve been knocked out for a bit. So I spent time with our little baby.
“Hi.” I whispered, feeling my posture soften with her little head tilt to get a better look at me. “Who am I? Who is this big giant holding you in his arms and saying hi to you, little one?” DARCY looked confused which got a chuckle out of me. I never thought I would feel comfortable having a daughter and slipping into the role of a dad especially with my environment when I grew up. But she made it all worth it. All the pain led me down the path to have her.
“C’mon, don’t look at me like that.” I held her close and made sure to support her head as I stepped to the crib in the room, my shoes clanking against the hospital ground. “You got a judgmental glare, little lady, you’re gonna get grounded a bunch when you’re older with that look.” I playfully scolded DARCY with an unintentional parentese I hadn’t noticed I added.
She reached up with her hand barely the size of my fingertip and wrap her miniature fingers around my fingertip.
I felt my heart clench with just how adorable she was being. “I’m sorry, your highness. You win with that cute little move. I surrender. No ones gonna ground you, angel.” and then her eyes fluttered shut. “But I suppose we gotta get you all ready for bed, dont we?”
I rocked her as gentle as I possibly could back and forth, my eyes focused on her.
“Oh my angel,” I started, being careful to do it quiet enough so you wouldn’t stir awake.
“Come back — to me.”
“And I will love you,”
“ 'til eternity.”
“Oh my angel.” I bent over the crib, as cautious as I could to not drop DARCY too fast and make sure to place her down carefully, making sure to remove the blanket she was tucked in to then place ontop of her, so she could still move around. I noticed her little onesie from the hospital. My gaze softened and I watched her chest rise and fall before a quiet voice dragged me out of thought.
“And you were worried that you wouldn’t be a good dad.” You pointed out, I rolled my eyes whilst I turned around to face you. “I don’t know what you’re on about.” I spoke softly and acted clueless.
“Oh, sure you don’t. You totally fell inlove with her the moment you held her.” You murmured. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” I rolled my eyes and approached the side of the hospital bed, leaning over and placing a kiss on your lips. “You just pushed out a whole human from your body.” I mumbled, concern evident in my voice.
“Oh? Is Mr. Cocky concerned about my well-being?” You acted surprised. “Shut up.” I groaned. “You’re so annoying.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Funny considering I used to say that about you.”
“Is it too late to say I hate you?” I grumbled, pressing a kiss on your forehead.
“Pretty sure it is, yeah.”
DAY 84 / 2556
FIRST SMILE
IT’S been three months since DARCY entered our life. You’ve been working at Jam Pony on and off just helping Normal get packages to deliver considering you just wanted a breather so I decided to take care of DARCY. She’s growing so fast, it’s absurd. I honestly can’t keep up with her.
There are moments where I freeze due to not knowing what I could do to stop her from screaming and crying. It wasn’t often, but it also wasn’t rare. And it made me feel useless.
Because nine times out of ten, whenever I gave her to you, she’d be able to calm down in an instant. It was clear, you were her mother. I wasn’t, and she was spending nine whole months in your womb. But I just wanted to able to care for her without needing you to stop whatever you were doing just to help me out.
With time, I just felt like an awful father. Especially now that you were out and about more often and I was basically a stay—at—home dad and I had a tear-soaked shirt from our baby in my arms.
Though, I feel like I finally did something right. Today she’s been quite observant. Eyes locked onto my face as her hand lifted and she grasped at the fat of my cheek. “Oh — oh, sure I guess.. that’s better than having you crying.” I head to the couch with her bottle in my hand, shaking the baby bottle so the formula can mix well together. With me walking forward, placing one foot in front of the other and having the wooden floorboards creak or groan here and there, with her in my arms, she started to grab at my eyelashes.
I shut the eye she was grasping the eyelashes from and squinted with the other, scrunching my face together. “Attacking and pulling at my innocent eyelashes, are we? That’s very un-lady like, angel.” I scolded lightly — trying to focus on walking and not dropping her or the bottle before settling on taking a seat.
I sat on a beanbag in her nursery and slowly tried to pull her away from my face. I then leaned back on the back — rest part of the sofa and placed her little formula bottle on a nearby table.
My emerald green eyes focused on her. Now I had both arms supporting her tiny chest. She was wearing a soft red onesie with little yellow seed patterns around, like a little strawberry. I lifted her up and down. “Oh.. oh! And she’s taking off!” I gasped and had a very bad attempt at a sound effect of what was supposed to be a rocket taking off as I raised her up, her feet not touching my chest. “She’s up in the sky! And.. whoosh!” I turned her left and right.
“Now she’s coming back down..” I slowly settled her so her weight was supported by my hands and her feet on my chest, before I brought her face to mine. “And she’s getting kisses from her daddy.” I let my lips connect with the soft skin of her cheek, her forehead, head and basically everywhere on her face. “Gotcha!” I said, enthusiastically.
I pulled back DARCY a little to get a good look at her face and then I saw the corners of her tiny mouth curled up into a tiny smile as she swung her hands around from joy.
Her first ever smile. She was precious.
She babbled and giggled, her hands coming up to rest on my face. My emerald green eyes focusing on her emerald green eyes. She looked just like you smiling. She had everything in common with you, physically, apart from the eyes.
“Oh my god, that’s a little smile, isn’t it?” I felt my heart melt at the sight.
“And Mr. Cocky is no longer cocky but a big ol’ softie. Do I call you Mr. Softie now?” I heard you tease as my eyes shot toward you. “Oh — hey, you’re home. Also.. no idea what you’re talking about. Anywho.. well, I thought you had to work the night shift..”
“Normal freaked out when Max threatened to punch him, especially since he supposedly had a date and told us we got to go home earlier.” You explained, putting your things down. “How’s our little girl doing?” You asked whilst she pinched my cheeks and leaned forward, trying to mimic the way I gave her kisses earlier. “Happier than usual.” DARCY then babbled. “See, her highness agreed herself.”
“Dah” DARCY babbled once more, squeezing at my cheek. “Yeah, exactly, Dah.” I nodded and softly pinched her cheek between my index and thumb. “Three months old and she’s babbling and cooing like crazy.” You mentioned, my eyes flew to yours. “Just like you.” I teased, laughing.
“Not true!” You gasped. “In fact, very untrue!”
DAY 152 / 2556
DADDYS WORST NIGHTMARE ; TEETHING
DARCY was five months old now. I was working my ass off to keep her sheltered and safe. I had a whole list of things I had to be very careful with before handling her. She was so miniscule and helpless, relying on both of us to take care of her. Hence why I wanted to keep her as satisfied as possible — well.. as satisfied as you can keep a baby.. which isn’t as easy as other people might make it seem.
Although, today, I had a bottle of milk. So I was going in to feed her some more. And as I tried to put the bottle in her mouth, she looked confused before she started flinging her arms around and spat it out, her eyes filling with tears.
“DARCY? Angel, are you not hungry?” I asked, concern evident in my face. I got up and put the bottle to the side, going to her and I wrapped my arms around her, taking her out of the high chair and cradled her, supporting her head and neck. “Oh, honey.” I frowned as she wailed in my arms, her eyes squeezed shut and mouth open as shouts and cries escaped her. And I reached to take her bib off.
I stood up from the chair and started rocking her, “Princess, what’s wrong?” I whispered, her little arms still flung around as she kept her ear-piercing cry going. “Shh, shh.” I tried to figure out what she could possibly need. She was definitely not hungry. “Are you sleepy? Do you need to burp?”
Safe to say, the rest of the day was me panicking and running around the house, trying to figure out what on Gods green earth she could possibly need. Her cries didn’t stop, at all. Which just made me feel so helpless. My little princess just cried in my arms and I didn’t know how to stop it. God, what type of a father was I? Letting my baby girl cry on for hours.
And then I realized when I was exhausted and holding her in my arms in her little nursery, that teething could be it. I pressed my lips together and before I do something I researched about — because yes, I care enough to do research.. I washed my hands thoroughly, and made my way back to her nursery.
I bent over her crib and gently picked her up once again, she was still sobbing and clung to me. She was relying on me, so I had to do something about it. I sat on a chair, settled on it before making sure she was settled and comfortable on my lap.
Then I put my thumb in her mouth to gently rub her gums. They seemed swollen and that just made my heart ache. DARCY seemed to calm down just a little after I kept up the massaging for a little longer. It seemed to ease my worries, too because I finally felt like I could help her. Be her protecter like I had intended to be. Be there for her unlike me — who had nobody to turn too.
I watched as she opened up her teary green eyes and focused them on me. She seemed curious and still a little in pain, but she just looked at me with her little green orbs.
With a tilt of her head, I relaxed in the chair after what felt like ages. I was exhausted, that was for damn sure. I ran left and right and tried to figure out why she was screaming her tiny little lungs out just for it to be due to teething.
But it was worth it seeing her calm down because I helped her.
DAY 365 / 2556
FIRST WORDS AS A TODDLER
SHE was so little just yesterday — I could’ve sworn she was as big as my bicep just a couple days ago. She used to be a little baby crying over everything with those big tear-filled emerald green eyes. Always spitting out the food I tried to feed her. Refusing to cooperate whenever I tried to change her diapers or even confusing me when she cried for no absolute reason.. And now it was her first ever birthday. She was already moving her mouth as if she were about to speak.
I probably would’ve broken down into tears had I not wanted her to look up to me and wanted to think her daddy was brave. Even if she’d forget everything sooner or later.
Little DARCY already a toddler, running around and picking up random objects. Running back to me because she found something and then shows me how to use it ( visually, we aren’t exactly at the point of verbal yet, she’s still too young for that ). Then she’ll give it to me and wait for me to redo every step she did and then wait for her approval, meaning if I had to do it over again or if she was pleased and let me off the hook.
She was precious. Her little emerald green eyes looked like one of a does. They were so big and innocent. Especially with the fact that she was just barely reached a little more than my knees. She had your face — and hair color.. her skin was a mix of both yours and mine.
Today, she seemed impatient, tugging on the fabric of my pants. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she had the cutest expression — where she tried so hard to look mad but ended up looking just so sweet. Her lips pressed together into a pout and her head tilted up to look at my face. “Mah..” She babbled, and I didn’t think much of it before she whined. “Dada!” And that made me pause.
“Dada..” She so desperately wanted my attention. She softened her expression into just a pout. “Dada!” She repeated, pointing at the sink. “Aba.” Back to her little babbles. She then formed her fingers into a C shape to make it seem like she was holding a cup to then signal that she wanted a glass of water.
I was able to compose myself enough to get what she wanted so she didn’t think I was neglecting her. But she said her first word. “Water?” She nodded and I crouched down just a little to grasp at her little hand. Then I felt her tiny hand in mine.
Her hand was still so tiny in comparison to mine. But enough to be able to hold it in my own. And then I slowly moved to the sink in the kitchen in the same speed as DARCY moved, to not overwhelm her. “C’mon, up goes the elevator.” I told her, crouching down fully and stretching my arms out as she let go of my hand to jump into my arms. Her tiny arms barely wrapping around my neck.
And then I wrapped my arm around her, supporting her body as I slowly rose to my feet, she gasped and giggled as I felt her wiggle her legs once they were off the ground.
I reached up and opened a cupboard, grasping for a cup and turning the tap on. “Cold?” She looked at me confused. “Coo — ld?” I said once again, but slowly speaking out every word before she hesitantly nodded. “Whatever you want, princess.” The water hitting the bottom of the sink repeatedly echoed in the silent room.
I reached forward with the cup and filled it with water. “Who am I?” She let one arm go to close and open her hand repeatedly, mimicing a ‘gimme, gimme’ motion.
“Dadaaa!” She huffed, very obviously annoyed with the angry expression. Which reminded him of you. “You two could be the same person.” He grumbled under his breath. “I am dada, yes, good job, angel.” I snickered and brought the cup to her lips. “Drink up.” I watched as her free hand grasped the cup that was bigger than her hand and try to hold it alongside my own hand. “Good girl.” I said, removing the cup from her mouth.
“Drank all of it so quick. You were really thirsty.” I commented, heading to a towel with her in my arm and wiping her mouth with it, all so carefully.
I then tried to place her back on the ground but she refused. “Bah.” She shook her head and I brought her back up into my arms, adjusting my hold on her. “But you’re a big girl, you can walk, princess.” She looked insulted, clearly. And then I laughed, which caused her to break her little act and cause a giggle to escape her lips.
She doesn’t even know the lengths i’d go to be able to keep that smile on her face.
DAY 730 / 2556
UNUSUAL BEHAVIOUR
SHE looked at me with her arms crossed over her chest. “No!” the word that she’s learnt from no other than you. You were being sassy to me and DARCY overheard, which then made her believe that she could be just like you even more and decide to go against my every word. Today being no different. She was throwing yet another tantrum. “You have to sleep, princess.” I was crouching and cupping her face.
“I not sleepy.” She pouted with furrowed eyebrows. “What if we snuggle, hm?” I suggested, raising an eyebrow. She seemed to think about it. “I can join.” You butted in, crouching beside me. “Whad’ya say, little miss?” I questioned, a grin on my face. “But.. blankie evil!”
We both exchanged a look between eachother. “Blankie evil? How? Tell us, we’ll protect you.” I said, slowly ripping my gaze off you and onto the tiny two-year old rascal.
“Blankie trapped me!” She whined. Which elicited an over-exaggerated gasp from me. “No! Really?” You added, jaw dropped. She nodded her head up and down in a quick motion. “Do you have a boo—boo?” I asked, my voice in a low whisper. “Boo—boo?” You bit back a laugh as you looked at me. “Shut up.” I said through gritted teeth.
“No..” DARCY answered my question pretty much quickly after. “And we’ll both be there for you and save you if blankie tried to trap you.” I told her, pressing a light kiss on the top of her head. Her eyes darted between both you and me. Her eyes brighter than ever. “Promise?”
I blinked, “I promise, princess.” I looked over to you. “I promise, too.”
I wasn’t expecting parenting to be easier than what I imagined it to be ( obviously, considering I was the one who thought that ). But in all honesty, I thought raising DARCY would be catastrophic. Explosions and world war breaks out. But I seemed to be doing well — so far. At least I hoped so. She seemed at ease around me. Or maybe that was because of you.
Because you’ve been doing a great job, honestly. It was shocking how well you kept up mentally and were able to stay strong — especially given the fact that you didn’t exactly have DARCY with your own choice. You didn’t have a choice because abortions were hard to get your hands on now — a — days.
I couldn’t help but think. Of course, you tell me I was a good father. But I simply just dropped the asshole act around her. She seemed to have loads of your characteristics.. which I was glad about.
And then I got brought back to now. I was holding her hand alongside yours as I head up the stairs — yes, stairs. I know my apartment doesn’t have stairs within the apartment but.. well, I may or may not have stolen some cash from a rich dude and bought a better house for DARCY to be able to live in. But hey.. no judging — i want
only the best for my little girl.
I watched as she struggled on a couple stairs before bending over slightly and picking her up, holding her close to my chest with my arm supporting her weight. I did almost slip.. and fall, but you holding my hand managed to balance me. “I will not be thanking you.” I replied, in a way more sassy tone than I intended. “Oh, okay, I hope you know I hear all that sass.” I rolled my eyes and kept going up.
“Good for you.” I heard you let out a laugh. “Your cocky and arrogant behaviour used to make me so mad — now it’s just funny because you’re so gentle. Who knew being a girl dad could change a man this much?”
“Uppie!” DARCY randomly blurted out whilst clapping her hands together and her eyes flew between me and you. “Yes, baby, uppie.” You replied, your motherese slipping out. “Says the one who became so freakin’ cute after having a baby.” I pointed out, a stupid grin on my face. Then I felt DARCY shift around in my arms once we reached her room.
“Look, daddys got you, princess, blankie won’t hurt you.” I reassured her, rubbing her back with my free hand and urged you to follow us into the room.
She looked around the room frantically, as if her blanket would come out and attack her. But, I read up and already knew kids could have irrational fears at her age. Hence why patience was all she needed including a bit of safety so she knew that she had nothing to be afraid of. “Can you grab her stuffed animals?” I whispered to you, slightly rocking my body back and forth.
“Mhm.” I watched you go around her bed and bend over, picking up her rabbit stuffie and dinosaur stuffie. “Look who’ll be joining us!” DARCY gasped. “Mr. Din-din!” I slowly lowered her on the ground as she rushed over ro your side.
“Mr. Car-car!” I crossed my arms over my chest and laughed. She was so happy about them it was absolutely heart-warming. She then raised her arms up at you, opening and closing her hands. “Me want up!” She pouted before you picked her up and handed her the two stuffed animals. “You gotta sleep, honey.” We both said simultaneously. “Otay..” ( that’s literally how she pronounced it, don’t make fun of me )
DARCY then got brought to her bed, you placed her down ever so gently. She seemed freaked about the blanket but nonetheless, I settled on the bed beside her alongside you on the other side of her. “Snuggles!” She exclaimed, grinning. And then I wrapped an arm around her, meanwhile you threw her blanket over all of us, yes, including the stuffed animals.
“Daddy..” She whined, grasping at the white fabric of my tee. You turned behind you to turn on her night light and then I focused on her. “Yes, princess?”
“Song sing..” I paused, “You want the song?” She nodded eagerly in response. My eyes shot to yours and you shuffled around on the tiny bed to fit yourself onto the tight space and cuddle up to her other side.
“Anything you want, princess.”
DAY 1095 / 2556
NEW THINGS GOOD & BAD
DARCY was playing around, as usual. A three year old should start to get around more and do things. I read that in a book — yes, I read when I want too. I am a transgenic and intelligent.. doesn’t mean I knew how to raise children. So, I sat down and I read a book about how children act throughout the years. I wanted to be the best daddy for my princess — or prince if DARCY were a boy, of course.
Speaking of her, she took me out of my train of thoughts. “Daddy! Look, that.. that is one tree!” She shouted, pointing at it, she was extremely proud of herself as she ran around on the playground. I was sat on a picnic blanket next to you. “Good job, sweetheart.” You shouted and clapped, cheering her on.
“Careful, angel. Don’t fall!” I yelled, intensely watching her as she began to run around as fast as she could. I lifted my eyes off her for a moment and glanced at you. “I never expected to have a little family with you.. this soon. And.. see DARCY so happy with the.. pulse, trashy town and all.” I finally admit to you, watching as you glared at me. “Me either.”
“She reminds me of you.” I mentioned, my emerald green eyes focused on yours.
“And she reminds me of you, too.”
I leaned forward, cupping your face, connecting my lips with yours, feeling you kiss back.
A shriek made me jump back, eyes wide. “What? —” You looked surprised, too. And my eyes searched around the park. My eyes landed on DARCY laying on the concrete, holding her leg in pain. I immediately sprang toward her, hearing you close behind me. “Angel, angel! Baby, i’m here, i’m here.” I reassured her immediately whilst dropping down onto my knees.
“Are you okay?” You asked, holding the back of her head and helping her sit up slowly. She had tear—filled eyes. “It hurts.” She whined, shaking her hands around and wailing in pain.
“Angel..” My eyes inspected her head, trying to see if theres any injuries there. I didn’t catch any so I inspected her legs, and then I noticed her pants torn open at the knee, she scraped her knee on the concrete. I hissed at the blood that stained the dark fabric. “It’s okay, we’re here. Y’know what, scratch me.” She shook her head. “I dooon’t— wanna hurt you.” She dragged out a couple letters due to her crying.
“Can you bring the medkit?” I asked you, raising an eyebrow. “You brought a medkit? ” “Just incase something like this happened. It’s in my bag.” I pressed a kiss on your cheek before holding up DARCYs head.
“It’s okay, daddy’s here and i’ll make sure it’ll all go away.” I whispered, easing her fears as I picked her up gently and placed her on my lap.
I watched as her emerald green eyes followed you as you ran back. You crouched down, opening up the medkit and beginning to scramble for items. “Sterile wipes for the wound.” I said, eyes focusing on DARCY. “Antiseptic for around the room.”
You gathered everything, “How do you even know all this? I didn’t know you studied medicine —” “Not medicine, just got a lotta wounds to patch up.” It was a half—lie.
DARCY winced when you began the cleaning but I tilted her head up, pointing at a bird in the sky. “Look! That’s a birdd.” I added some more toning to the word bird, and she looked curious. “Can birds fly?” “Yes, angel.” “Can we?” “With a plane.” “What is.. a plane?” “A metal box that can bring us places in the sky.” “Can we go on one?” “Soon.” I laughed at her suddenly forgetting about her wound and jumping to ask questions almost immediately.
“Has daddy had ouchies before?”
“Mhm.”
“Are ouchies bad?”
“I think of ouchies like.. you went through an adventure, the scar of an ouchie reminds you of it. Ouchies can be good and bad.” I tried to make her look at the positive.
“So.. is my ouchie cool?”
“It’ll heal and be the coolest thing ever.” I paused, thinking what to say next. Before I parted my lips, sucking in a breath, “New things can be good and bad. It just matters how you handle it, angel.”
DARCY looked at me with big, curious eyes. “New things.. can.. can be gooood and bad.” She slowly repeated, making sure each word was the same way I pronounced it, tilting her head. “New things.. can be good and bad!” She repeated, this time much more confident with how she said it.
“Exactly.”
DAY 1461 / 2556
PUDDLES AND RAIN
DARCY was just growing up — way too fast. I mean, I could just.. remember her being tiny and — her tiny fingers barely overlapping when they curled around my finger. And now here she was, going backwards and telling me too — “Look! Daddy. I can walk!” I laughed, nodding. “Backwards.” I corrected, crossing my arms over my chest.
We were quite a bit away from home since I picked her up from Logans place — since both he and Max offered to babysit so me and you had time for ourselves. And, lucky for us, it started raining when I had no rain jacket with me and brought one for her just incase.
So now I was soaking wet and having to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid, like run onto the street and get hit by a car.
But the only stupid thing she was doing was genuinely just.. stupid toddler things. And I didn’t complain. That over — deadly stupid things. And she seemed to be having fun. Until — “Daddyy, can we dance?” I was baffled. “In the rain?” My voice was filled with surprise. “Pleasee.” Her tiny, high-pitched voice caused me to break.
“Fine.” And so I reluctantly agreed, reaching out and spinning her around in a puddle. As she stomped whilst dancing and proceeded to splash me with it. “Oh my god —” I bursted out laughing. “Oopsie..” She exclaimed, covering her mouth in surprise that she did that.
I rolled my eyes playfully.
“You’re such a little rascal.”
And she reminded me of you.
DAY 2191 / 2556
HEART OF GOLD
OUR little girl all grown up. Six years old was — an accomplishment. For me.. at least. Especially in this environment and.. the wages we had to live off of. You were still working at Jam Pony, full time whilst I went back to work on and off. Taking care of our girl was most important.
I always wondered how she grew up. Given the circumstances. I wondered if we — I fucked her up in some way.
Having a transgenic as your father could fuck you up in ways — you just wouldn’t notice. At least, until now, I found no trace of her being a transgenic-human mutant thing. Like me. Again, only thing we had in common, our eye colour nothing more, thankfully.
But God, she had a heart of gold. For example, we walked past a garden and she noticed an little boy upset. And she head toward her. “Hi!” She greeted, all cheerful and happy. That big grin displayed upon her lips. “Hi.”
“My name’s DARCY.” A moment of silence exchanged between them “Mine is.. Peter.” “Daddy told me being alone when sad isn’t always...what people want.” DARCY waited a moment before adding, “Do you.. want to be alone?” “No..” Peter replied. And with that, she stood there. And she began making conversation. She was smiling and giggling the whole time. Peter slowly joined along. Her laugh mingling with his in the air.
I was sure she made his day by being so warm and friendly.
Wonder how she got so wise.
DAY 2555 / 2556
GOODBYES
TODAY was the last day i’d see her.
Today was the last day i’d see her.
Today was the last day i’d see her.
Today was the last day i’d see her.
Today was the last day i’d see her.
I couldn’t say that one single word. It was too much. Saying that one word made it official. Too official. I just can’t — right? I should be protecting her. Not whatever i’m doing. I can’t. I should be fighting for her. No child should hear the word ‘Goodbye’. I am the worst father in the world. A disgrace. I got a gift, a blessing. My DARCY. And i’d be throwing it in the trash.
They told me they‘re going to get her and
The ink was blotchy from there forward, making the words unreadable. Fingertips went beneath the next page, a moment of hesitation. You turned the page.
DAY DAY 2556 / 2556
?
SHES gone. I failed her.
JOURNAL ENTRIES ; FINISHED
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WHAT THE FUCK?
The journal ended there. Confusion and fear filled you reading those pages. Why did he keep track of her since birth? Was Alec insane? Did he do something to DARCY? Those questions lingered in your head far longer than anticipated. You knew your little girl had been gone for a month or so. But Alec seemed too busy at the Crash, drowning himself in alcohol.
Even though he never got drunk.
You didn’t know why. It was fucking strange. You spent hours looking for her. And then you stumbled upon a box. Hidden in the ceiling in a little box in the corner. And you found thirteen journals. Each year — except seven had two journals he could write all 365 days in. But he highlighted some.
Were those his favorites? Did he lose his shit and imagine someone came after your daughter when in reality, he was the danger all this time? You shook your head. You shouldn’t try to get conspiracy theorist on a guy who spent day and night showering her with love.
He must’ve had a logical explanation. Right?
Tears filled your eyes. You prayed you were wrong. That you didn’t stay with the man who ultimately turns your life upside down for some sick reason.
And for DARCYS sake.
“I didn’t fucking do anything to her! Why are you accusing me of such utter bullshit!?” Alec shouted, he was fuming. “I loved her to fucking pieces! That was the only wrong I did. I made those journals to read back incase I forgot anything!? Is that such a fucking crime?!”
You stared at him. “Your last entry?” “If you wanna kep on with your conspiracy theories, what’s the fucking point?!”
STRAIGHT TO THE POINT
Alec glared at the men beside Elizabeth Renfro. “As you may know.. manticore was.. well, burnt to the ground. And I.. well, I made another one just incase.. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She trailed off topic due to Alecs disgusted yet surprised stare. “You’re supposed to be dead.”
“Max told you that? Did she ever bother to check my pulse before leaving?” She questioned. Alec went silent. “As I was saying. You’ve got a pretty little partner. Young.. sweet, inlove with you.” Alec scoffed. “Get to the fucking point you old shit —” “They’re pregnant.” “Surprise..? I don’t know where the fuck this is going.” Alec rubbed his temple in frustration.
“We want the child.”
“Over my dead body.”
“I assumed you’d say that. Well, X5-494. You give me the child with legal rules or we will kill your family.” Alec stared at her in disbelief. “You wouldn’t kill a pregnant person —” She laughed, “Oh, no, I wouldn’t. They would, though.” She gestured to the men behind her. “The offer I give you is better than what others wanted. You see.. you can keep the child until the age of seven. After the seventh birthday, my men will get the child. And if you are lucky enough and the child is human.. you’ll get them back. However, if not, we’ll keep them.”
“Fuck you, you sick bitch.” He spat, utterly disgusted by her. “We’ll send you the contract soon.”
“Pleasure doing business with you.” She said with a smile.
MY BABY
Alec stopped pacing, now leaning over the kitchen counter with his hands on his face. “I am a fucking transgenic. A human-like scientist experiment designed to be a fucking soldier. I escaped but manticore seemed to fuck me in the ass.” Alec ran his hands through his hair. “They made a deal to get her at seven years old. If not, they would’ve killed you.” He explained, not really caring if you decided to believe him or not, anymore.
“You’re insane.” You told him, with a shaky voice. “Believe whatever the fuck you want.” Alec was staring at the counter. All he could think of was his baby.
You immediately scrambled to get out of there. You grabbed a few vital things you needed before making yoir way out. “You should’ve helped her, you monster.” Was all he heard from you before his ears echoed the front door slamming shut. Now he was alone with his thoughts. Fuck.
“Daddy?” DARCY called out, heading to the kitchen. Her beady emerald green eyes focusing on me. “I lost my bag at school toooday.” She explained. Alecs gaze softened when his eyes landed on her. He lowered himself onto his knees to be eye level with her. “That’s okay, angel, we can get you a new one.” He reassured, tears filling his eyes.
“Are you okay, daddy? Why are you crying?” She asked, eyebrows furrowed and eyes filled with concern when she should’ve been happy.
“I failed you.” He whispered, hands reaching out to her. “No you didn’t.” She shook her head and wrapped her tiny arms around him. “I love you, daddy.” And then the tears kept flowing. As he went to wrap his arms around her figure — she vanished. And everything seemed empty once again.
He was on his knees, hallucinating his fucking daughter. He has lost it.
OH , MY ANGEL
There was an empty promise I gave DARCY when she was still tiny. ‘I will always protect you.’ And it was outright nonsense. Because he knew from the start he had limited time with her. The journals were to honour her memory — incase..
But that wouldn’t happen. Because he was now going into the manticore building to see his little angel. Have her in his arms again. As long as they haven’t finished their testing — they allowed him to see her now. He wasn’t ready to see her. Seeing her trapped in the very place he was stuck in and so desperately wanted to get out of.
Max was waiting for him outside just incase. And he entered the freshly made Manticore building through the big.. doors.
Two soldiers guided him down the hall. He wasn’t sure what to feel when his eyes flew around the place. The place looked like a mental institution. White, glossy walls paired with gray, marble floor. His eyebrows furrowed in hesitation when a guard put a keycard into some sort-of machinery next to some metal doors.
Uncertainty filled him but he proceeded. Stepping forward. One foot in front of the other. Ever so carefully. His eyes darting around for any bad sign.
And he got what he was looking for.
His heart dropped. And his ears started having a high-pitched ring. The hallway that led to the room the guards brought him too —
Blood.
A path of blood. It was smeared from the room down the hall. It slowly started disappearing at one point.
He paused. The thick maroon colored liquid was blending with the gray floor. He forgot how to breathe, his eyes welled up with tears. And then the guards brought him closer to the room. A bigger puddle of that thick, deep red colour. It was so vibrant — and it most likely came from his little girl.
He had failed her.
He was doomed to be a terrible father from the start.
The song he sang to her seemed hypocritical now. Because it could be interpreted as him singing about her.
“This fire in my — heart,”
“consumes my — happiness.”
“Since we.. are apart,”
“I have nothing.. to hope for,”
“I have nothing.. to cling to.”
“Life for me — has no meaning darling,”
“if I have — to live — it without you.”
“Oh my angel,”
“come back — to me.”
“And I will.. love you,”
“ ‘til eternity”
“Oh my angel.”
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thecircularsystem · 1 day ago
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So, I was recently part of a server run by a system as an experiment. A month of chatting with people, but we couldn't mention our origins, and at the end, we had to guess others origins.
Let's talk about it.
[Note: I am just going to be talking about the server, the survey, and a few thoughts about origins here. This is largely fluff and disappointment and bitching about the flaws I saw in the server. I'll be making a proper post about origins later that's not as connected to this.]
So, firstly, I used an alt account in order to participate in the server. My regular discord ID has my system name in it, and I didn't want to make things too easy. I popped in and talked, and I tried my absolute best to make it so obvious that I had a CDD, while also trying to make it obvious that I wasn't just a CDD system. I knew it would be next to impossible for people to guess my origins, so I was just there to have fun.
I knew immediately that I would dislike the server. For one thing, I already didn't really like the server runner -- sorry, if you're reading this, but genuinely, my system has an aversion to you. Not sure why -- don't fully remember -- but it's there and it made me wary. But, bigger than that, I figured out quickly just how poorly planned the server was. It got BIG, fast, and moderators were chosen seemingly at random. I remember a user was picked because the group names were based around food, and their username matched the food their group represented. That... is a very bad way to pick mods. Then there was the 2 minute speaking timer, which had to be circumvented with threads, and the realization that there was a thirteen year old in the server after I had brought up NSFW content... I do not join servers with younger people anymore and genuinely thought the server was 18+.
It was just... very disorganized. So, strike one.
Regardless, it was fairly easy to guess what people's origins were (not accurately, but I'll get into that at the end/in another post) at the most basic level, and who they were, as evidently, nobody else tried to hide their blogs or identities as hard as I did. I shared servers with around half of the participants already, and others were... fairly easy to guess from their syscourse presence. I think the highlight of the experiment was someone from the server contacting me (Circ) and talking about the experiment with me, not knowing initially who I was in the server. Genuine hilarity there.
But, of course, we were there to try to guess people's origins, so I was trying to find out what I could about those in my group. 7 participants in the group (myself included), and... Well, strike two.
Genuinely, this was the stupidest premise for a server in the world. In my opinion, at least. The thing is, all of these guesses have to be based entirely on stereotyping -- the language the system uses, the way they speak, the concerns they have about the community. A system who uses the term "headmates," is concerned about fakeclaiming more than symptoms of plurality, and focuses more on the plural aspect of systemhood than anything else is likely not experiencing a CDD.
Which, in this set-up, means you're endogenic. And that's a problem. But we'll get to that in the next section. First, I just want to mention that I consider this a strike against the premise of the server because so much was banned from being mentioned. It wasn't... formally said to be censored, but even amongst my friends outside of the server, I saw them say numerous times, "It's so easy to guess who X is because it's obvious they have a CDD!" And genuinely, that indicates nothing about a person's origins, spoken as a true CDD mixed-origin system. It's the Fenmere Clause, right? There's always an exception. So to see this sort of culture on never mentioning your disorder, never mentioning trauma, never mentioning your experiences in the system community while being asked to share them... Eventually, I just started censoring myself entirely in the server, cutting out chunks of writing with little brackets saying [Origin Information] or something similar.
If the point is to be able to guess origins, I need to be able to share more than just the stereotyping that people rely on. It needs to be a fair chance.
Then the end came, and... for fucks sakes, that's what sparked this entire post. I had planned to wirte up a post, of course, but lord.
At the end, we had to guess how likely it was that someone "had a CDD, was endogenic, or was a created system." Funny enough, my origins (mixed-origin, fully traumagenic CDD system with multiple created parts AND a dreamway part) weren't listed, not fully. Traumagenic wasn't even an option for those who don't have CDDs.
Now, look, I am a CDD system. I consider that to be my "main" origin. But to only count "CDD, created, or endogenic," you discount one of my parts entirely, one who is one of the most helpful parts. The survey also didn't ask if people had created parts, but if they were a created system, which... I'm not. So that furthermore discounts two of my parts who are created -- and still equally traumagenic.
Furthermore, when asked for clarification, the moderator had... this to say.
For CDD, you either have one or don't (or at the very least it's more cleanly binary than origin), so I asked for the positive For origin, people "testing for purity" for lack of better wording coming to mind usually care about any percentage of endogenesis. And while CDD does not necessarily mean traumagenic, traumagenic is very nearly a subset of CDD
To translate, as that left such a sour taste in my mouth I thought I threw up a little, what this meant was, "Some of the users are anti-endos, and so if you have one endogenic part, most of those users will assume you're entirely endogenic."
...
So, rather than the point of the server being, "Can you guess someones origin?" it became "Can you guess someones origin if I painstakingly make a survey that caters to anti-endo beliefs and erases the origins of members of the server?"
Wonderful. Strike three.
Genuinely, I'm not sure what possessed the server owner to phrase the questions this way. Catering to the anti-endos wasn't the point of the server, and it erases the members origins. There should have been a way to identify what, exactly, you felt each member IDENTIFIED as. If an anti-endo does not believe in endogenic plurality (which, yes, many members of the server did not), then at the very least, they can say that a user identifies as endogenic, or mixed origin, or spiritual, stressgenic, adaptive, quoigenic, OR ANY of the THOUSANDS of origin options out there.
I would've done a multiple choice list of, "Here's what members of your group identify as, based on their intake survey; can you assign each of these labels to individuals in your group?" What was the purpose of an intake survey at all if you ignore the origins to cater to the anti-endos?
I'm not going to lie, I was incredibly frustrated, more than a little mad, and just...
Disappointed. Which, I figured I would be going in.
The thing is, origins aren't guessable in this manner. Nobody in that server could have looked at me and gone, "Ah! Yes, it is clear that this individual is a mixed-origin CDD system who identifies with CDD as an origin while having created traumagenic parts and a dreamway part." DREAMWAY IS A LABEL WE FUCKING MADE UP!!!! It would be impossible to guess unless they heard about me personally.
And that's the reason this type of experiment is bullshit. Sure, you can... hazard a guess if someone has a CDD or is endogenic or is mixed-origin or any of the above. But... You can't know. You can't get it perfectly accurate. Sure, based on vibes you can guess, and maybe you can even guess accurately for the most part.
BUT EVERY SYSTEM IS DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE ANYWAYS. So why does it matter?
It doesn't.
But the system community doesn't seem ready to accept that yet.
All in all, I'm incredibly disappointed in the server and how it went. I enjoyed the conversations we had there, and I enjoyed the company. I'm still enjoying talking there!! Now that origins are revealed, I want to talk about how my mixed-origin parts impact my CDD parts, and how they are CDD parts at the same time. I want to discuss it!!!
I would even hazard to say I made some new friends, and likely a few enemies (someone from my group, not knowing who I was, was even liking posts that were actively libel against me from harassers I have. How fun!)
But the experiment portion of it was an entire, complete disaster. And I think... genuinely, most people expected it to be.
Sigh.
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fangirlstorycreator · 12 hours ago
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Alastor X Reader:
Context: When you discover it's Alastor's birthday, you want to suprise him with a thoughtful gift. But would it be one he'd like? And how would he show his appreciation?
Part 1/2
Shouting, swearing and things being thrown and broken had just startled you awake after a terrible nights sleep. Just like every other morning in the hotel. Why did Angel and Husk always have to be at eachothers throats? Just once, you'd like to wake up normally, without being disturbed. But, it wasn't like your afterlife was easy, it was hell. Groaning as you sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the tiredness from your eyes, still hearing Angel and Husk argue like an old married couple.
"Uugghh, please shut up you two"
This was the 5th time this week they'd done this. They didn't listen to Charlie when she asked them politely to stop, well, with your eye bags and pounding headache, they were about to be asked in a more aggressive tone. Once you were dressed, you made your way down the hallway, with a face like thunder, not wanting them to fuck up your sleep anymore. When you reached the top of the main staircase, you see Angel and Husk at the bar, Charlie desperately trying to calm them down, Vaggie struggling to get Nifty down from the curtains, and Alastor is sat on the sofa with Lucifer and Pentious.
"Angel, come on, let's just go for a walk huh?"
"Why the fuck would I wanna do that Charlie?! I ain't leavin till Whiskers hear says sorry to me!"
"I already told you! Don't call me Whiskers!"
"Then don't call me fake you stupid moth'a-"
"SHUT UP!!"
You scream down the staircase, making everyone go silent. The only ones who look slightly impressed are Alastor, Lucifer and Vaggie.
"For the love of god! You guys haven't let me get a decent night sleep all fucking week! I don't care what started this stupid little argument, but it's ending now! And I swear, if you wake me up with this stupid little war of yours one more time! I'll shove a vodca bottle so far up your asses, you'll be tasting it for a month!"
"There uh, there ain't no need to be like that toots-"
"Oh really Angel? There isn't? Tell that to my fucking headaches! You've both been asked by Charlie nicely to stop, but neither of you listened. Well now, your getting it from me! Both of you, grow the fuck up!"
".............I'm sorry toots"
"...Yeh...sorry"
Angel and Husk both say, embarrassed and unable to look you in the eye, Alastor and Vaggie just chuckle under their breath.
"Good. Now, I suggest you both make yourself useful and help Charlie by doing that project she wanted you both to help her with"
"Aww! But toots-"
"(Sturn look, raised eyebrow)"
"A'right, fine. C'mon Husk"
Charlie looks so relived, she mouths the words thank you before taking Angel and Husk to the activities room down the hall. When they leave, you exhale, rubbing at your temples walking to the bar, and grabbing a drink. In fear of you still being angry, Vaggie, Nifty and Pentious slip up the stairs. Alastor on the other hand, stands up from the sofa, leaving Lucifer and sitting on the bar stool infront of you.
"Bravo my dear! I am rather impressed. I won't deny, I came very close to doing something along those lines myself. But you beat me too it! And dare I say, in a much more entertaining fashion"
"Those two have been driving me crazy! Charlie's sweet, but those two need something more firm"
"I absolutely agree. I must say, it was quite possibly one of the most enjoyable moments I've experienced for quite some time. Even more entertaining than when Charlie's little father came along"
"Eh! I'm not little"
"Aha! You keep thinking that"
Lucifer scoffed, turning away and playing with a little yellow duck in a kings crown.
"I say my dear, you do look rather exhausted. Might a nap be beneficial to you?"
"I would if I could. Even when I was alive, no matter how hard I tried, I could never nap unless I was ill or on holiday"
"Well, why not imagine your on your holiday?"
"Alastor, have you seen where we are?"
"Hm, quite right. You have a point. Ah well, at least you mother'd those two imbesils into stopping their squabbles. They shouldn't make that same mistake again, not if they want to remain unharmed"
"I'm not usually like that. Just with a lack of sleep, I don't know what came over me"
"Worry not my dear, all of us hear know your not a spiteful or nasty person. In fact, since I've known you, I have often wondered on many occasions, why you ended up in hell rather than heaven"
"That's a story for another time Alastor"
"Of course, I wouldn't want to cross your boundaries. Ah! Would you look at the time, I must take my leave. I have a scheduled time to see my good friend Rosie. You remember Rosie don't you?"
"Yeh, the nice overlord from Cannibal Town"
"That's her. I'll tell her you said hello. I do hope you have a pleasant day my dear. (Kisses your hand) And Lucifer...eh..."
Alastor flips Lucifer the middle finger as he leaves, pissing him off, his horns slightly showing when his eyes glow red. They're relationship was just as bad as Angel and Husk.
"Just ignore him Lucifer, he just wants to get a rise out of you"
"Yeh, well it's fucking working. Hey? You mind grabbing me a drink?"
"Sure, what are you having?"
"Uuuuuuuumm? I'll have an old fashioned. Oh oh! And can you put it in a wide glass? I wanna float my little ducky in there"
You giggle at his cute request, he loved his ducks. After making him a drink, he sits next to you too, floating his little duck in the drink with a giddy smile and big shiny eyes.
"Hey, can I just say, Alastor wasn't the only one who liked the way you spoke to those two"
"I kind of guessed you did. Your eyes were darting back and forth between me an them. Like a child trying to listen in on a conversation he's not supposed to"
"Can you blame me? Other than the red asshole who lives hear, your the only sinner I've seen who has the balls to raise your voice in the hotel. And heck! I remember seeing you have a shouting match with that overlord Valentino a few months ago too!"
"Yeh, well, he hurt Angel. I'll always protect my friends"
"I know. We all know that. I think that's why those two listened to you when you scolded them. Your their friend, but you can be a stern mother figure if needed to be"
"That's so weird, both you and Alastor both said the word mother, I honestly never thought that word would be used to describe me"
"Well, it is now. I think this place needs a motherly figure. Even if it's to stop the everyday chaos that happens in this place. I mean, you remember when Charlie made that birthday celebration for Nifty?"
"Oh hell yeah, I remember. (shudder) Nifty's birthday was the definition of disaster"
"Yeh, thank golly that only happens once a year. But then, Charlie wants everyone to celebrate their birthday down hear, and that's probably gunna be even worse"
"Well, I doubt Husk won't try dousing his birthday cake in bleach like Nifty did. Isn't is Husk who has a birthday next?"
"Hm? I have no clue. The calendars behind the bar"
You grab the calendar behind the bar, flicking through it as you lean on the counter, Lucifer playing with his little duck as you read.
"Hm? That's interesting. Turns out the next person to have their birthday is Alastor"
"What?! Why do we have to celebrate HIM?! He's such an ass! Every single time he's hear, he always does something to piss me off!"
"Not everyone in hear hates him Lucifer. I know you and Husk do, it's understandable why Husk does, and with you, I think he just enjoys making you angry"
"Who the hell does like him then?!"
"Charlie does. Nifty, Angel enjoys trying to get a rise out of him sometimes. I like him too"
"Why?! He's a dick!"
"He's a dick to you. He hasn't behaved that way with me since we've met. If anything, he's been a real gentleman"
"Yeh, gentleman my ass!......Although, you do kind of have a point. I've seen him be nice to Charlie and Nifty, definitely more with you. You never know, he may have the hots for you. Don't fall for his bullshit if he does!!!"
"Lucifer, relax. You do know Alastor's Asexual right?"
"Huh?"
"He's not into sex"
"Not into!!-How the hell can someone not be into that?! Sex is awesome! I mean, me and Lilith back in the day, eheh, bow chick'a wow wow!"
"That's you Lucifer. Not everyone can like the same things"
"I just didn't know that about him. Right! I'm gunna tear him a new one about it!"
"No"
"What?!"
"Your not gunna do that"
"But why not?! I'm the king of hell! I can do whatever I like! Why-why'd you say no?"
"Think about it Lucifer. You'll be lowering yourself to his level"
"Oh shit, yeh"
"And your own daughter said this hotel is about bettering yourself. Don't copy Alastor's behaviour, rise above it. Have you ever heard of the phrase, kill them with kindness?"
"Well yeh, but how can-oooooooooohhh! I see what you mean!"
"Anytime he wants to make you angry, be positive. Because in failing to wind you up-"
"It'll drive HIM crazy! Yes! I love it! Thank you sweetie"
"Don't mention it. And, don't give him something condescending for his birthday either"
"Not even a duck in the shape of a big-"
"I know what your about to say, and it's a firm no"
"Nnuugghh ok. I'll....be nice to him or whatever"
"Good. Hey? Did I just hear your name?"
"Hm? Oh, I hear it too. Sounds like Charlie. I'll go see what she wants. See you later Y/N"
"See you Lucifer"
You can't help but chuckle, watching Lucifer jump down and dance towards the hallway, little duck in hand. Now it was just you, in blissful silence, ah it was wonderful. You knew it wouldn't last long, but it's nice to have it while you can. As you enjoy the peace, you look back at the calendar, seeing Alastor's name written on the page. You did wonder to yourself, what he would like, or even if he wants a gift? And his birthday was happening tomorrow, it was time to have a think. Later that afternoon, Alastor came back from his morning with Rosie, and saw you sitting on your own in the hotel lobby.
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"Good afternoon my dear! How has the day been for you?"
"It's been nice thanks, Pentious and Nifty came through a few times, but everyone else seems to be busy doing their own things. How was Rosie?"
"Ah she was delightful, a lovely morning was had by all, haha! (Sits down next to you) What are you reading?"
"This? It's The Great Gatsby"
"Ah! I read that book before I died! I do believe it was published about 10 years before I ended up hear. It was a great read if I remember correctly"
"Did you know they made a film of it?"
"But of course! In 1926"
"Not just in 1926"
"I beg your pardon my dear?"
"Yep. They made it into a film two more times. The second time in 1949, and again in 2013"
"I say! One might think they would like to leave a classic alone once it's been put on the noisy electronic box. But they truly did it 3 times? I never witnessed any of them myself. The book shall be my only knowledge of the classic tale"
"To be honest, you weren't missing anything. I saw the latest film before I died, but I wasn't a fan. I much prefer the books"
"Aha! And that is why I truly enjoy your company my dear. Ahh, I sometimes believe you are the only person in this whole building whose company I genuinely like"
"Really?"
"Of course!"
"That's so sweet Alastor, thank you"
"Don't mention it. Actually, now that I have you hear for a moment, I did have a subject I wished to bring up with you"
"Oh? What's that"
"It's something I was waiting the right time for. More specifically, a time where none else was around to listen in on us. As you well know, I like to keep my life private, unless I choose to share it"
"I do"
"Well......as you are aware, aswell as a few of the sinners in this hotel....my....passions....desires.....they are not.....exactly the same, as everyone else. Case in point, my desires are almost on the opposite spectrum of someone like Angeldust"
"Yes. I remember when you told me about that"
"And while I do not enjoy or wish to take part in any form of sexual affection....it does not mean I retain from all forms of showing my appreciation. I don't know if you were aware, of me kissing your hand goodbye whenever I leave your company? And noticed that I do not do that with any other lady"
"I...may have noticed, yes"
"Well, that is my way of showing my affection to you. But there are times, I wish....I wish for your hand...to be your lips...."
"Alastor...I'm flattered"
"Thank you....but my question to you is....is this feeling...reciprocated?"
"(Blushing, tucking hair behind ear) It might be"
"My darling, if it pleases you, I would never much like to show you how much you mean to me. But as you know, being the radio demon and a powerful overlord hear in hell-"
"You'd rather keep what might happen between us, private"
"Indeed. But please understand when I say, it is not that I do not wish to be seen with you in public as my partner, I very much do. But if Vox or the other V's see you at my side as my partner, you may be at risk of being targeted by them, and you may be in danger because of me. I need to make sure I am strong enough to protect you against any of the V's"
"It's ok, I understand. To be honest, I'm not one of those people who loves to parade around the streets with a boyfriend. I'd rather spend my time with them, enjoying their company"
"Absolutely! But I promise you this, if this is something you wish to be a part of, we will walk hand in hand, side by side after a sensible amount of time. Once I know I am strong enough to take on and win against all the V's, I will not have to worry about your safety. Because your safety, my dear... is my highest priority"
"That's very considerate of you"
"(Chuckles lightly)"
Alastor's smile looks genuine right now, you can tell by how gentle his eyes were. Taking your hand, he places a kiss on the back like he always does.
"Alastor?"
"Hm?"
"I think you have a new target....don't you think?"
".....Aahh....my pleasure my dear"
Feeling his fingers delicately hold your chin, he looks deep into your eyes. Looking desperately at your lips, but lovingly into your eyes. He leans in closer, you can almost feel his lips, so close-"
"Hi guys!!"
You both sit back a little, a little spooked by Lucifer barging through the hotel doors, loud and proud.
"Whatcha both up to?"
"We were enjoying a peaceful conversation before you very rudely interrupted us! One might say, it was very inconsiderate to barge in on someone's conversation, without adequate reason"
"Ah get over yourself! This hotel's a free place! And my daughter runs it, so yeh! Hey hey Y/N! Wanna see the new little ducky I made today! Look look!"
Lucifer bounds over to you and Alastor, but only speaks and looks at you.
"Isn't he just adorable!!"
"Well, yes he is Lucifer. But uh? Why does he have a bottle of whiskey?"
"That's because I'm making little ducks of everyone in the hotel! It was Charlie's idea, but I like it! This one's the bartender"
"You mean Husk?"
"Oh! That's his name! I keep forgetting-"
"Excuse me! If you wouldn't mind, me and Y/N were actually in the middle of a rather important discussion"
"Oooooh! I'm so scared! What are you gunna do? Talk me to death?"
"Something like that can surely be arranged-"
Very quickly, you intervene, standing between them both when Alastor stood up, eyes darkening, and Lucifer smirking.
"Woh woh woh! That's enough! Both of you!"
"My dear, if he insists on causing an issue, I am in more than happy to deal with it"
"Awww! Is someone a little tetchy? Knowing your becoming an old man getting to you huh?"
"What?! How did you know I am to be-"
"It's on Charlie's calendar, dipshit!"
"That's it-"
Again, having to push them apart, this time, Alastor really looked like he was going to attack Lucifer.
"Alastor! Alastor look at me!"
You say calmly, taking his face in your hands, making him look at you.
"Look at me. Take a deep breath, in....and out...in....and out..."
If anyone else had asked him to do that, or touched his face, he'd push back. But because it was you, he didn't mind, and it was genuinely calming him down, even his eyes had changed back from black to red.
"That's it. Ok, we can finish our chat another time, but for now, why don't you just take some time to calm yourself in your radio station? You've told me thats your happy place. Please Alastor, please don't let this escalate anymore"
"........Alright my dear.......I'll take some time.....I shall see you soon"
His shadow engulfs him, sending him up the stairs and on his way to the radio station.
"Ah man, can you believe that guy? He gets so-"
"You know what Lucifer? I can't believe you!"
"Wait, what?"
"Didn't listen to a word I said today? About not lowering yourself to that level? Not doing to him what he does to you?"
"But I-"
"But nothing! You agreed to have a better attitude when your around Alastor and you've just thrown all of that out of the window!"
"I can argue with whomever I want Y/N! I'm the king of hell after all!"
"And your in this hotel to support YOUR daughter! Have you forgotten that? Stop acting like a child and at least try to make something work with Alastor"
"Why? Because you'll be disappointed?"
"Because this is Charlie's dream! You can't see how hard she's working to actually help people, and instead of doing what a father should be doing, your picking fights with Alastor! Stop acting so childish and help you daughter! I shouldn't have to tell you that!"
You can't talk to him anymore, and storm up the stairs.
"But Y/N wait! I...I AM trying to help Charlie"
"Then pack in whatever this is with Alastor, or at least try. Because it's going to be Charlie who's going to be affected. Just think about that"
Lucifer just stood there, frozen, feeling guilty, because he knew you had a point about Charlie and how hard she's been working to make this hotel what it is.
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You on the other hand, slammed your bedroom door shut behind you, running your hands though your hair, headache pulsating in your head. This place would drive you insane some days. You throw yourself onto your bed, snuggling up with your pillow, wanting just 5 minutes of peace. But again, you lived in a hotel with many others. Three gentle knocks came to the door.
"Nngguuhh! Please go away....."
"(Muffled voice behind the door)....Toots? It's me. Can I come in?"
His voice sounded so innocent, sweet. Normally, Angel would be all proud, sometimes seductive with the way he spoke, but this sounded genuine.
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"Yeh. Come in"
You say, sitting up on your bed, seeing Angel enter your room with a little smile.
"Hey. How yah doin?"
"I've been better. I just can't shift this headache"
"Well hear. (He says pulling out a packet of paracetamol) Maybe these will help?"
He sits down next to you on your bed, handing you the tablets.
"Thanks Angel"
"It's no problem. Hey uh...I just wanna say sorry for the way I've been actin recently. I dunno, I guess Husk just brings out that side of me. I swear, I didn't know I was wakin yah up"
"It's fine Angel. I feel like I should say sorry too for the way I spoke to you and Husk"
"Oh no no toots! What you did was great!"
"Wait, seriously?"
"Hell yeh! Me and Husk both said it was like a moth'a tellin off her kids! And I think we both needed that. Honestly toots, you didn't do nothin wrong"
"Ok, that's a worry off my mind"
"Can I uh.....can I share somethin with yah?"
"Of course"
"Having someone moth'a me like that.....I actually liked it. Not cuz I'm into strong, independent women, well, I am but that's not the reason. Since I died, I hadn't really had that feelin of being around family, and well......my moth'a used to keep me and my sister from having fights like that too.....you kinda.....remind me of my mom"
"....I do?"
"Yeh....and it's nice. It feels like with you, I've got part of my family down hear that cares about me. I know that's probably stupid of me to say-"
"Angel. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I feel honoured that you see me like that"
"(Sighing in relief) I'm glad toots. Thanks, for everything"
"Come hear"
You and Angel share a sweet and tight hug, all 8 of his arms held you.
"I'll always be hear for you Angel"
"So will I toots, I promise"
A good 20 minutes had passed, just chatting with Angel in your room. Talking about the afterlife, his fights with Husk, and you take some paracetamol in that time too.
"Hey toots! Have yah thought about what your gunna get smiles for his birthday yet?"
"I'm not sure to be honest. He's a tricky guy to buy for, I'm not sure if he'd even like receiving gifts"
"Well.....you could always.....wait in his room, wearing nothin but a little bow around your neck..."
"Angel! That's-wait? Why would you-"
"I maaay have been walking past the lobby when Alastor and you were talking"
"Angel"
"Don't worry toots, your secret's safe with me. But dayum babe! You've got the radio demon himself wantin yah! You've gotta admit, that's awesome!"
"It is lovely being around him, I can't deny that"
"So? You gunna take my advice?"
"I would, if Alastor was into that"
"Oh yeh! He ain't is he? Damn it. Well, I have no clue what to get him. I don't know him that well"
"I've been trying to think of things that would remind him of happier times, or his memories when he was alive. Something like that, but I've had no luck just yet"
"Hm? That's interesting. Wait! Didn't he live in new Orleans?"
"Yes! He did!"
"Sweet! I'll think of something to do with that! Listen toots, I've gotta go now, but I'll catch up with yah lat'ah"
"Alright Angel, see you soon"
When he left, you tried to have a good long thing about what to get Alastor for his birthday. He was sometimes fond of trinkets, eh, not good enough for a birthday present. Come on think. He enjoys his radio, taking long strolls through pentagram city, spending time in his room that's also part swamp-huh! That's it! Angel had a point about New Orleans, Alastor lived there, and you were the only one he confessed to about his life before he died. And he had the swamp in his room for a reason, to remember. The perfect idea came to your mind, and that was it, you knew exactly what to get him. Getting out your phone, you search for any place you can go to 'acquire' this suprise gift. Hm? The only place that could have some luck is in the Wrath Ring. Somewhere called Rough 'N Tumbleweed Ranch, well, it's better than nothing. The next day was Alastor's birthday. And down stairs in the lobby, you walk up to Charlie, who was bouncing with excitement.
"Oh hey! Hey Y/N! What are you up too?"
"Just on my way out to get Alastor his gift. What about you?"
"Ooooooh! Exciting!! Well, I'm just trying to plan the theme for Alastor's party tonight. I'm not quite sure what to go for. What do you think? (Shows you her note book) big blue and sparkles? Or big red and sparkles?"
"Umm, somehow, I'm not sure Alastor is a sparkles kind of guy"
"Yeh your right. Ugh, I just don't know what theme to do, I'm stuck"
"I know, why not do a 1920's theme? Get everyone to dress up in clothes from that time, and maybe serve his favourite food? Jambalaya. And don't forget, he isn't a fan of sweets, so he wouldn't eat a normal cake. Try putting a candle on a roasted duck? He's said before that he likes that meat, and carving a slice would probably make him happy. And maybe the party food could be similar to the 1920's too? Like deviled eggs, waldorf salad, dutchess potatoes, shrimp cocktail, canapes, olives, or maybe oyster rockefeller?"
"Yes yes YES!! Oh thank you Y/N, your a genius! I'm writing everything you've just said down! (Squeaks) This is going to be perfect! Thank you thank you!"
"I can give you a hand later, but for now, I need to get going"
"Yes! Of course! Go go! Me and the others can make a start on this party, thank you again Y/N! See you soon!"
"Bye Charlie!"
And with that, you were off. Leaving the hotel as Charlie bounds with joy in the background. Taking a walk to the streets, you flag down a taxi and give him the directions to the ranch you saw online. It was a fair distance away, but you were happy when you arrived there, seeing the sign as the taxi pulled over.
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After paying, you headed in and looked around for anyone, apparently, this place was owned by an imp family, who had many things in and around their ranch.
"Hey there! Can I help ya'll?"
"Hi! I'm Y/N. I hope you don't mind the drop in, but I saw your ranch online, and see that you sell things to people who offer a good price?"
"Thats right, what're yah wantin today? We've got vehicles and animals available"
"Can I look at your animals please?"
"Sure thing darlin, follow me"
This lovely imp lady takes you to a fenced area, with 2 types of animals already.
"Hear yah go darlin, we've got horses and hogs hear, I'll haggle the price depending on which size you choose"
"These are lovely animals, but I was just wondering if you had something that prefers to stay close to water? Or swampy areas?"
"Ah! I hear yah. Let me take you to the edge of the ranch, we've got a few little critters back there for sale too"
A short walk later, a marshy tree covered green pond, that's also fenced in securely, seems to have many more animals.
"A'right, we've got Hattie over there. She's a water snake, a little bitey though. Over there we've got Wade, the snapping turtle. Be careful around him, he'll snap your fingers off before you can say fuck! And over there we've got Dutchess, she's actually just had a new litter of babies about 2 weeks ago. Their quite cute when they're youngens, and surprisingly easy to train. So all these little thangs are perfect for swampy areas, just take your pick"
"Would it be ok to buy one of Dutchess's babies?"
"Of course yah can! We've got little animal carriers too for yah to take one home. Ya'll fussed about the sex?"
"If it's possible, could it be a female?"
"Absolutely. She only had one boy outta 5 girls. Let me just grab one, yep, this ones definitely a girl. She's at least 2 pounds, and a healthy one too. I'll give her to yah for 200 bucks"
"Sold!"
Link to part 2
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amber-tortoiseshell · 17 hours ago
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Hi, question for you! I've apparently stumped @/since-times-long-forgotten, and they recommended I head over here. So hello!
Had a patient today (so no photos I can post, sorry) that had some weird coloration stuff happening. I'm the cat coat genetics guy around the clinic, so when I got stumped, I said I'd ask around. Quite a few of my coworkers are curious, so no pressure lol.
Kitten, 2-2.5 months old, long-haired, dilute black (blue), came from a farm, all of that's normal and what I could tell you.
She had weird banding on her fur that caused some interesting effects. The tips were that darkish blue color, the base was the same, but then there was a silver-y band on each hair from about 1/2-5/6th of the way up the hair (so blue for bottom half and top 1/6th, with this silver band in the middle).
It caused some interesting effects, like kinda-almost-maybe phantom striping.
The tech said she looked a bit like a weird smoke, but that smokes usually don't have two transitions in each hair, so like... double smoke?
I thought fever coat, but then the tips wouldn't be dark. Unless there's some weird thing where a kitten gets a fever shortly after birth and that changes their coat twice? Seems unlikely but it's the best I got.
I don't think this'll stick around as she ages, but it'll be fun to see. It really does seem like it was something happening at the time she was growing that part of her fur. The tech also threw out nutrition, because farm baby, but I don't know if that's how that works.
Oh, also, I went through the blue smoke photos and she really-almost looks like some of them, but there's that double-change thing that's stumping all of us.
(She also really doesn't match the typical Midwest farm kitten. She's fluffy and dilute. Good thing the Feline Redistribution System got her. Indoor kitten!)
Uhh, that's puzzling. I assume you'd notice if it wasn't a smoke but a silver tabby 😅
I think people are discussing something similar here:
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The conclusion seems to be fever coat.
A few interesting and possibly relevant things i found when i was searching for an answer:
Birds do that, having a faulty pigmented stripe in their feathers when they didn't get enough nutrition. It's called "stress bars":
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source
Two examples when the "fever" happens not during the pregnancy, but later. They look quite different:
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1, 2
Both of them seem to be roaned with white hairs, unlike "born" fever coats, when every hair has a pale tip. The difference between the two is, of course, that the latter cat really looks like the roaning pulled out the underlying tabby pattern. (Or can the first one be genetically ticked?)
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nyoomfruits · 17 hours ago
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🎵 ship of your choice
i got old lovers in dressing rooms by keaton henson and i was like oh this is PERFECT for older lestappen so!!! here you go :)
Max hasn't changed much, all things considered. His hair is a little longer, maybe. The lines by his eyes deeper. His smile softer. He leans against the doorway of Charles's little dressing room trailer like he does this all the time, like they're just old friend catching up, like there isn't 10 years and countless missed chances between them.
“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Charles says, earnestly. Which probably means Max isn’t here for interviews or media appearances. He knows F1TV wouldn’t be able to pass up on that, getting two old rivals back together, one interviewing the other. He’s seen them cry tears of joy every time Nico and Lewis are so much as in the same room together.
Max shrugs. “The kids really wanted to go. T is thinking about studying engineering so she’s been begging me for months to go. Really hard to say no to that face, let me tell you.”
Charles wouldn’t know. He’s never seen Tina Verstappen before. Nobody has. Max has been rather strict about keeping his kids out of the public eye. “Good choice,” he says instead. “The engineering, I mean.”
“You’d think that. Until you have someone following you around asking you about break balance for 5 hours a day,” Max says, so utterly fondly that the supposed annoyance hardly lands. It must be nice, Charles thinks. A family. Children who follow you around. A partner who loves you.
“I’m glad,” he says, though the words stick in your throat. “That you’re happy. You deserve it.”
Max’s smile twitches, a tiny thing that barely reaches his eyes. There’s a sadness in them instead. A yearning. A longing. A memory of a time long before. “How’s Catherine?”
“We broke up,” Charles says. He doesn’t tell Max there’s been another girl after Catherine. There’s no use. They broke up too. It’s been a long line of girls, one after the other, all the same, all attempts to fill the empty hole in his heart.
The empty hole the man standing right in front of him right now created.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Max says. He looks genuinely sorry, too.
It’s moments like these where Charles wishes he could turn back the clock, go back to that fateful moment back in Austria 2019, tell himself that one stupid incident on the track wasn’t worth it, wasn’t worth the stupid fight that followed, the stupid break up.
By the time they found forgiveness, it was too late. And now here they are. 17 years and many broken hearts later, Max a happily retired dad of three beautiful children, supported by his beautiful wife, and Charles with his pundit job and his empty home.
“It was good to see you,” Max says, when a PA sticks his head around the door to inform Charles they need for the pre-race interviews in five. “Good luck to you.”
“Yeah, same,” Charles says, smiling a little sadly. “Have fun.”
And with that, Max turns around, walks away. Charles wonders if it might be the last time.
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compacflt · 1 year ago
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idk if this question has already been answered or not but idrc, would your ice have considered it "talking about it" to admit his physical attraction towards mav? like calling him beautiful or genuinely complementing him. this goes for mav too
i do feel post debriefing ice would call mav beautiful openly or some sappy bs like that
love your writing 💌
anon i need you to know this ask was so cute it made me physically nauseous. i was sick all week thinking about how cute this ask was. thank you for sending it.
i actually had a couple drabbles where yes ice both pre- and post-TGM mission is like yeah im physically attracted to you, but it’s less like “oh my god you’re so hot 😍” and more like “i mean, yeah, you objectively look like tom cruise so it’s not like i really have a choice.”
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but “beautiful” specifically i had not thought of, and it has knocked me off my feet and made me go feral/rabid/undomesticated for a few days straight, so i will be writing something about this. thanks.
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yarrowleef · 2 years ago
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as this continues to be relevant yeah idk I just think this whole RiverClan nonsense conflict would have been less annoying for me to read if RiverClan had actually descended into true chaos. a situation like Redscar’s field guide story where several cats try to claim authority. but in this case, it goes beyond just two cats fighting and the clan starts splitting into mini factions supporting one self-appointed candidate or the other. the problem being presented as “we all forgot how to do chores without a teacher permission slip :(” is so weird and lame. give me blood shed eat each other alive so i believe your plight ffs!!! 
#warrior cats#asc#yarrow speaks#a starless clan#warrior cats sky#warrior cats shadow#wc criticism#uh i dont think this is spoilers? its the same as last book#sorry i take back that old post saying i didnt want to read about RiverClan brushing off Mothwings authority in this situation#turns out they really SHOULD have so that this plot would make more sense#bc as it stands i cant comprhend why she was unable to just point at Literally Anyone and ask them to organize some patrols for the day.#thats not appointing a leader its Just Doing Chores. switch off who does it every day who cares but how is it this much of a problem#i cant engage with this conflict at all with how its presented#idk first they said some senior warriors were *quietly and passively* gesturing to Frostpaw that they would like to be leader#but then later they said that no senior warrior would step forward. which is it. i just cant stop thinking of all the many many times-#-rando warriors were given temporary patrol organizing duties. it happens all the time. i just.#you cant rly tell me not One Single Cat here can organize some chores for a month or two#bc if thats true and mothwing is unable to just point at any warrior ask them to pick some patrols for the day-#then that suggests the problem is not lacking a starclan chosen leader the problem is apparently every single cat in this clan-#-is too incompetent for the job. and being officially appointed isnt going to suddenly give them that skill if they cant do it now#hence why i wish there had been some bloody fighting over this#but sitting around staring at the wall and doing nothing is cool too ig
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ettawritesnstudies · 8 months ago
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IE your 'what would i pay for poll'. I would pay around $3 monthly feasiblhy but honestly I would be more invested in doing that if you were a bigger presenc3e on here again, over if you had anhy fun treats for subscribers. mostly i just miss seeing you alkl over my dash! i like to support the people who are big involved in the comunity or who post a bunch of fun snippets or moodboards or character rambles. and i dont see that from you very often!
Hey Anon!! That is SO FAIR and honestly I wish I were a bigger presence here too, and one of my concerns about offering memberships is that creating all the ~*exclusive*~ content will take away my time from shitposting and playing tag games and just generally hanging out. The more I'm splitting my energy between several platforms the more my "presence" on each platform will suffer if that makes sense and I miss the days when I only had tumblr and I could just ramble about whatever.
That being said there are a couple reasons why I've changed my approach so I hope you understand where I'm coming from
I'm on Draft 5 of the same book I've been working on for like 3ish years now and if I shared the same snippets for every "find the word" tag I think people would be sick to death of it by now
I'm on Draft 5 of the book I'm planning to publish and if I share too many excerpts of the in-between drafts, those things are both A) subject to change, B) probably spoilers and I want to be very very picky about the excerpts I choose to share from now on
Tumblr (and instagram, and tiktok, and other social media sites) regularly get nuked by the companies that own them so I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket which is why I've doubled down on my website.
I'll share more moodboards and fun snippets and stuff soon! But they'll be in the promotional/marketing vein probably because if I'm going to spend time making that stuff it's going to be multitasking
You raise a really good point. I'd love to be more involved here, and I'll try to set more reminders for things like WBW and STS. That being said, I've been trying to support the writing community through other ways like ARC reviews and interviews!!! I put so so so much work into these every month and they do fine in general, but for some reason they don't get any traction on tumblr. Not for my lack of trying, but I don't know? Nobody wants to reblog a link to a youtube video I guess? It's discouraging because just because it looks different than the old traditional games and things doesn't mean it's not still contributing something to the community - a way to find new authors and promote your newly published books - that's largely going unnoticed and unappreciated.
If you want me to reblog snippets and moodboards for the love of god please send me stuff my queue is empty! I love seeing what people have going on but I'm also following well over 1000 people so sometimes stuff gets lost.
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bravevolunteer · 6 months ago
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@trapton asked: [cover] ID au // associated word starters
[cover]  your  muse  covers  my  muse  up  with  a  blanket.
WHILE MICHAEL HAS BEEN USED TO SLEEP DEPRIVATION for some time now, never has it been as intense as it is now: days on end with only minutes of rest if lucky, waking countless times through the night if he does manage to sleep, dragging himself through waking hours fatigued and lethargic, low concentration and high irritability. It's all he is. Every hour awake is spent paranoid, staving off hallucinations and crafted illusions alike— none of the usual numbing works anymore. Sometimes... sometimes it lets up, always around his father... always during moments of assurance that feel so entirely fragile every time they're bestowed upon him ( what does one do with a gentle hand when it has been nothing but rough for so long? ).
In fact, he didn't have nearly as many hallucinations for about a week... only when the man orchestrating the nightmare was largely absent to handle business protocol for a new location did they return at full force.
It doesn't just chip away at his mental state. Turns out his immune system is entirely fucked, too. The busy few days for the company come to an end, and Michael is sick, unable to stop himself from shivering no matter how much he tries to hide it. He stares at the ground from his seat on the couch, held still to minimize the way his head spins. Far-gone enough to feel halfway unconscious... the rest of him still violently averse to the idea of sleep.
Warmth and its temporary comfort settles over him as his father places the blanket, Michael pulling it closer immediately ( again contrary to all the wariness he held for so long ). "It's a fever," He explains, mumbled— admitting it so quickly. "I already checked."
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lightseoul · 2 months ago
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a/n. second time writing from bkg's perspective. this was so fun! (1.1k)
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the moment that cemented bakugou’s resolve to marry you wasn’t exactly grand.
it wasn’t your first kiss.
or the first time you made love to each other.
not even the first time you met his nerd-ass friends or his (slightly) overbearing parents. although those two come as close runner-ups.
no, it was rather a random saturday morning after you spent a night at his place, now clad in what he thinks is nothing but your intimates and a burnt orange t-shirt of his that drapes loosely over your frame.
and as he enters the kitchen and closes the distance between the two of you with a few strides, he can’t help but wonder what you’re doing—deeply focused on your laptop—when you’re probably the one who’s extra pedantic about not bringing work home.
“morning,” he grunts, leaning down to kiss your cheek, which you happily accept. although, to his chagrin, your eyes remain on your computer screen, not even sparing him a single glance.
he knows it’s fucking embarrassing, how strongly you elicit feelings within him without you even fucking trying, but he can’t stop the frown that takes over his face even if he attempted to fight it.
shaking off the irrational disappointment from not even being ignored, he rounds the kitchen island and starts brewing the two of you coffee.
“by the way,” he starts, glancing at you over his shoulder, “the old hag’s birthday is coming up. she wants to have dinner with just the four of us, or some shit.”
“i know,” you simply pipe up from where you’re seated on one of his fancy bar stools, gaze still glued on whatever the fuck it is that’s keeping your attention from him.
he turns to you, a manual coffee grinder in tow. “you do?”
at that, you finally look up at him, an innocent expression etched across your features. “you don’t remember? i asked you when your parents’ birthdays were way back in march.”
way back in march.
back when you unanimously decided to decisively end the dating phase and become boyfriend-girlfriend.
“yeah?” is the only thing he manages to get out.
you let out a soft laugh that’s nothing but music to his ears. “yeah, dummy.”
before you can get to see the red that’s most definitely creeping up to his cheeks, bakugou turns his back against you, returning to busying himself with crushing the beans into fine powder and pouring lukewarm water into the machine.
only a few months before reaching a full year together, and you still manage to make him fucking blush.
over the most mundane things, too.
when he first got into his very first relationship with you at the ripe age of 28, he thought he’d outgrown and was way past the embarrassing shit that the human body was capable of when dealing with anything remotely close to romance.
it didn’t take him long enough into your relationship to find out he was so, so wrong.
sighing, he pours out the cup of ground beans onto the filter, finally pressing the button and bringing the coffee maker to life.
you must be done with what’s highly likely is work by now.
but chancing a glance at you, he’s once again met with palpable disappointment when the very same sight greets him.
before he can rein them in, the words come tumbling out of his lips.
“the fuck is so important on that laptop?”
his booming voice must’ve caught you off guard, because you startle ever so minutely in your seat.
“sorry,” he quickly adds on, albeit through a mutter; frustration with himself and his inability to modulate his voice added to the increasingly long list of emotions he’s having to fucking deal with right now.
waving him off, you shoot him another one of that disarming smile of yours. “‘s funny that you ask. i was just about to ask you for your opinion.”
with that, you gesture him to come close with your fingers. curious, he once again rounds the island, ultimately occupying the spot to your right and leaning down to peer at the small text on your screen.
before he can even get a word in, you hurriedly explain yourself. “mitsuki-san mentioned her personal sewing machine broke, so i’ve been thinking about getting her a new one.”
you point to a sleek, off-white model among what looks to be a vast array of selections, “i researched the specs and i think this one’s the best. what do you think?”
a million things course through his mind in an instant, but what he ends up sputtering out is: “you’re such a fucking nerd, you know that?”
at that, you look up at him, your seemingly perpetually moisturized lips now formed into a playful pout, and it takes everything in him not to just pull you in for a kiss and completely abandon the conversation in its entirety.
but he’d like to think he at least has the slightest bit of self-control.
even if you do wear him the fuck out on a daily basis.
“i just want to make sure it’s perfect!” you argue, shifting to stare at your laptop again and bringing him back to the present. your voice is way smaller when you continue. “…i want her to like me.”
he doesn’t even miss a beat. “she already fucking does, dumbass.”
and she really does.
the morning after bakugou first brought you to meet his parents a whopping two months into calling it official, mitsuki texted him something along the lines of having the family heirloom slash ring already adjusted to fit your finger.
he immediately called the old hag after receiving the message just to reprimand her ear off for being too fucking forward and for meddling too much.
but, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he was angry not because mitsuki was imposing, but because he couldn’t believe his mother beat him to that important realization.
the realization that maybe, just maybe, you’re the one.
and now, as he studies you as you scroll through more and more iterations of the best sewing machines on the market with your eyebrows adorably furrowed in utmost concentration, it dawns on him.
it dawns on him that that maybe just turned into a definitely.
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tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @sugurusmoon
˖⁺‧₊ this one made me smile like an idiot while writing lmao. as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 have a nice day!
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goldeunoias · 1 year ago
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Tw:internalized racism? I guess?
#sorry I’m not answering asks right now Daisy is just. laying in bed feeling the sad sjsjsjsjsjsj#having self respect is easy. it’s having self love that’s the hard part.#my friends are gorgeous and pretty and so smart and amazing but it’s.#I can’t talk to them about how frustrating it is to be I guess the non-ideal poc?#they’re either white with straight noses and colored eyes or Asian and are able to hang out with and relate to other Asians#for me I don’t. have that Sjsjsjs I’m#a Lightskin or whatever but I don’t fit any of the black niches nor am I accepted by them bc I am nawt black enough for their ideals etc#so it just. leaves me feeling isolated#I went to a predominantly white school and university and it’s hard explaining to a group of white people the type of agony of not ever#really being the ideal race if that makes sense?#like if I like a guy I have to worry about oh well does he find black girls attractive would he be willing to date outside his race#bc for the record black guys do not. treat me nicely and berate me for not idk being their Rihanna baddie so I just have been so turned off#from them I don’t think I could ever date a black guy tbh#it gets even more nerve wracking when you’re a 21 year old virgin and your mom is just shoving black guys down your throat to date sjsjsjsj#but even if they say oh you’re pretty you’re gorgeous Daisy etc I just. can’t believe them bc they will always be the first choice. I won’t#and that just. it destroys me and eats away at me bc being different only works when you fit in#*sigh* I have no black people to talk about this to bc my sister is thicker skinned than I am I guess and my mom would just say just date#a black guy or get black friends when ✨they don’t even desire me✨#so I rant to my little tumblr blog and hope these feelings pass even tho I’ve been feeling this for about two months now#I cried during my graduation bc I couldn’t feel proud of myself and felt so demoralized. I graduated with a degree in biomedical sciences#and never had I felt more worthless#but sigh sorry lovies for posting this I just. aksksk I’m crying now argh but yah#Daisy is sad but hopefully I will answer asks tomorrow I see them#all and yall are so sweet 💕
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