#I think they’d have similar feelings yet drastically different experiences with their bodies that would make for an interesting dynamic

[jenn0wow]

Thinking about how cute Barbara Gordon and Victor Stone would be together 🤭

[lynkhart]

MAJOR spoilers for the C2 finale of Critical Role so read at your own risk of you haven’t caught up!

I have so many feelings regarding Caleb and Essek’s intertwining character arcs I needed to explore, so strap in folks, you’re in for a bit of a ride! (But seriously though, this is like 4000 words long, I basically wrote an essay 😂)

At the start of the campaign, Caleb Widogast was dripping in guilt and self loathing and refused to believe he could ever absolve himself of his sins. Essek Thelyss was a cold, aloof individual who betrayed his people for selfish goals, and their differing yet mirrored narratives have been an absolute delight to watch unfold.

In the beginning Caleb truly hated himself. He shot down any attempt at a compliment, described himself as a ‘disgusting person’, outright rejected the idea that he was worthy of love, and never let the blame shift from him for what he’d done. When Beauregard and Veth/Nott pointed out that he was coerced and manipulated into killing his parents, he reacts in an incredibly visceral way, and I’ve seen several comments likening it to a victim of child abuse who was groomed into believing they were as responsible as their abuser, and I think that’s exactly how it was meant to be read. He doesn’t see himself as a victim, only a murderer, and punishes himself for it every day. We see this in the way he presents himself, dirty and unkempt because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel good about himself in any way. Other than Nott/Veth and Beau to a certain degree, he purposefully isolates himself from the rest of the group and it’s a long time until he feels relaxed enough in their company to drop his defences a little.

(Speaking from a purely meta point of view, Liam did an absolutely phenomenal job of showing this through body language and I’d love to see someone do a compilation video of it. He starts off very hunched and guarded, leaning his body away from the closest person to him and avoiding eye contact and physical touch; but by the end stands tall and sure of himself.)

Early on there were a few moments where he had the option to do some pretty dark shit, and I’m sure there’s a possible timeline where he gave into his desire for revenge and really lost his way, but I’m glad he stuck it out and worked through his trauma in the way he did. His PTSD and disassociation when casting with fire was tragic, but over time he was able to work through it thanks to the constant love and support of his friends who kept him from going off at the deep end.

Molly’s death was the catalyst for change in a lot of the party, and Caleb is no exception. On the verge of leaving the group prior to his death, the grief they shared, combined with their frantic attempt to rescue the other half of their party put things in perspective and gradually he learned how to be a person again, to care.

Altering time to save his family had been Caleb’s only goal in life, and so when Essek and by extension, dunamancy was introduced, you could see his eyes light up at the possibilities.

A huge turning point for him is aligned so closely with Essek’s redemption arc which feels quite apt I think. When Essek confesses to his crimes, Caleb delivers a beautifully iconic piece of dialogue where he acknowledges their similarities and how much he himself has changed as a person since meeting the Mighty Nein. (Source - CR wiki)

‘You listen to me. I know what you are talking about. I know. And the difference between you and I is thinner than a razor. I know what it means to have other people complicate your desires and wishes. And I was like you. Was. I know what a fool I have been for years. You didn't account for us. Good. That is life. Shit hits you sideways in life and no one is prepared. No one is ready. These people changed me. These people can change you. You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it. You have a rare opportunity here, Thelyss. One chance to save yourself, and we are offering it.’

This is not the same Caleb we met back in the Nestled Nook inn way back in the first episode. While not yet fulfilled or entirely convinced of his own worth, he knows he’s on the right path. That alone is progress enough, but that he uses his own experiences to help another escape those same chains of guilt says such a lot for his development. When he tells Essek that his ‘venom’ was learned, he’s also talking about himself and his own history of being manipulated and gaslit, with the implication being that it can be un-learned just as efficiently.

Caleb Widogast is selfish no more, or at the very least, doesn’t let his goals undermine anyone else’s anymore. Contrary to what he himself might still think, he is in no way a bad person. He loves fiercely and cannot abide seeing those he cares about in pain.

Early game Essek is what Caleb could have been if he’d rejected his friends and focused solely on his own selfish goal to undo his mistakes. Both are impassive at first and see the Mighty Nein as means to an end...until they get to know them and then their fate is sealed. The Power of Friendship wins once again!

At the beginning Caleb said he wanted to ‘bend reality to my will’ (sic) and in the end he does just that, though not in the way he originally intended. Destroying the T-Dock, and by extension the one thing he’d been building towards from the start, the chance to go back and change time, for me personally was the absolute peak of his journey. I rewatched the scene where Caleb revealed the truth about his parents death today, and it was really jarring to see just how far he’d come since then. It made me oddly proud actually.

I always felt like his plan to save his parents was the one thing holding him back from truly accepting their deaths, which is why the final scene of him in the cemetery with the letters for them hit so hard. He never truly gave up hope that they’d be reunited, but ultimately he realised he was merely postponing the inevitable and never allowing himself to live his own life. While time travel shenanigans would have been incredibly interesting to explore in game, choosing to let the past lie and not go back for them finally allows him to grieve and move on, and perhaps most importantly of all, to forgive himself at last.

I know some people were annoyed by Caleb’s decision in the finale to spend the rest of his life teaching rather than continuing to adventure, but I see it as the natural conclusion to his whole arc and his own personal victory.

He looked Trent Ikithon in the eyes, a man who he’d spent years wanting to kill and run from in equal measure, stripped him of his power and his voice (and ultimately his ability to harm anyone else) and finally spared his life so he had to live with the indignity of his defeat for the rest of his miserable existence. You couldn’t have asked for a more damning rejection of everything he’d been brainwashed into believing as a child. His dismissal of Trent’s position in the Assembly played into that as well. He never really wanted power for the sake of it; he had no desire for politics, he just wanted his family back, and while he didn’t get the one he started with, he made a new one for himself in the end.

As Caduceus once very wisely said:

‘Pain doesn’t make people; it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential; it's love that saves them.’

Caleb gets to break the cycle of abuse and teach a new generation of mages the way he should have been, with kindness and respect, and I’m pretty sure he’d have introduced a handsome drow as a guest lecturer from time to time. 😉

Speaking of...

Essek described himself as selfish and as a coward, forever putting his own wants and desires first, yet over the course of his journey with the Nein we see his priorities change drastically.

Having friends gives him people to care about, something he’s never had before, and it changes his outlook on life completely. For me, the first time we really see this is when he joins them for dinner in the Xorhaus and stops levitating. It’s a subtle thing, but meaningful. He explains that it had become an expectation of him, a quirk he’s known for, and so to feel comfortable enough around the Nein to drop that pretence is quite bold I think.

Much later, when he chooses to destroy the mini beacon they discover in Aeor in order to give everyone a long rest before the final confrontation with Lucian, he’s essentially giving up everything he betrayed his people for, just to keep his friends safe. The existence and context of that single artefact could have had an earthshattering impact on the Dynasty’s entire culture, forcing them to reevaluate their entire belief system and attitude to the Luxon, something he’d wanted from the start, something he helped start a war for, but he offered it up as a sacrifice without a second thought.

I’d say that’s a pretty big morality shift, and I’m super interested to see if Matt reveals if his alignment changed in the post campaign Q&A. I have a feeling he set him up as a potential BBEG but the party was like ‘no, you can’t have him, he’s ours now’ and that was the end of that. 😂

I think it says so much about the other characters too, that they befriended this person they barely knew, and when he was revealed to have done such terrible things, their first reaction was to give him comfort and an opportunity to atone. Jester held his hand while he confessed, and afterwards, while they didn’t immediately forgive him, they saw the good in him and wanted him to be better, which ultimately feels like what the entire campaign was about, leaving places (and people) better than they found them. It’s obvious that he’s never really had many friends before and has therefore never had the opportunity to be emotionally open with anyone, so seeing him gradually warm up to the Nein and allow himself to soften around them was really lovely to watch.

(Obviously, from a realistic moral perspective, he still fucked up big time. He’s still a godsdamned war criminal and really should have been put on trial for what he did, but I think from a narrative and personal point of view, his redemption arc was far more satisfying, so I’m glad it happened the way it did. (And not to derail but the rest of the gang have done some pretty horrific stuff as well, though perhaps not quite on the same scale)

He has a few moments towards the end that I absolutely love because they show that beneath the guilt and anguish, there’s an incredibly sweet and sensitive soul in there, just wanting acceptance. His dry jokes which often don’t quite hit, (the ‘I will punish the bakery’ line is such an under-appreciated one 😂) his simple joy at learning to garden in the Blooming Grove, and realising that he’d never been asked what his favourite food was before was actually kind of heartbreaking, because it highlighted how lonely his life must have been until that time. There was a moment pretty early on I think when he cast disguise on the party and Jester asked if he could cast it again to change the look of her outfit a bit and while he seemed to find it amusing, he refused, not wanting to waste a spell on such a frivolous request. Cut to their time in Aeor where he burns a fly spell just so he and Caleb can flirtatiously swoop around each other for a couple of minutes, all the while trying to beat Lucian to the city.

His breakdown when Molly’s resurrection failed really cemented to me how much he’d grown as a character. He never met Molly, his only knowledge of him was secondhand, through the eyes of his friends, but seeing it fail just broke him because he knew how much it hurt them to go through it all over again.

His comment to Caleb about not admitting defeat and wishing he could do more did get me wondering at the time if he was going to try and do something crazy, perhaps sacrificing himself via the Temporal Dock to make amends or somehow forcing another reroll, but I’m glad he didn’t. The conversation following that with Fjord was one of my favourites- he shows him acceptance and belief in his potential for the future, something he’s lacked for a long time, and when Caleb bluntly affirms afterwards that he is indeed an official member of the Mighty Nein, it’s the start of the rest of his life, and something he’s exceptionally grateful for.

It all leads to that final moment in Aeor with Caleb, when, presented with the opportunity to alter time and undo everything, he chooses to accept his decisions and carry the weight of his sins for the rest of his long life. That’s...huge.

He’s essentially choosing to live the rest of his existence as a fugitive, forever on the run, with no guaranteed peace or safety. He chooses to spend his life making up for his deeds, rather than looking for an easy way out.

I think that may have had a big impact on why Caleb ultimately made the same decision, as if Essek had been up for altering his timeline I think he’d have struggled to resist it himself. The conversation they had earlier in Aeor about their priorities and resisting temptation really comes to mind as well.

Now, to the relationship.

It was subtle, and not as ‘in your face’ obvious as the other characters, but I’ve been watching and hoping for a long time and I must say, it feels good to be vindicated.

(And if you have any doubt, both Matt and Liam confirmed on Twitter that their post finale relationship was 100% romantic)

I’d been hoping that Shadowgast would be a canon endgame relationship for a while, so the finale, and the aforementioned T-Dock scene in particular had me quite literally shaking with emotion as I watched live. Here you have two men, both damaged and guilt-stricken in their own ways, who find in each other a kindred spirit and a path to redemption.

They’re both very guarded and closed off people, but Essek in particular has a definite shift in the last arc of the campaign especially when it came to his interactions with Caleb. At the start he was quite aloof and stoic, though charming, and they had an instant connection through their shared love of the arcane, (anyone who couldn’t see them making heart eyes at each other when Essek was describing the different types of magic he could teach Caleb was clearly blind) but by the end he was incredibly open to showing his vulnerabilities and that takes a lot, especially for someone whose primary focus was to stay in control of every aspect of his life. The ‘Caleb, I’m scared’ moment during the Trent fight in particular made my heart ache.

No, we didn’t get a dramatic declaration of love or a cinematic mid-battle kiss, but I’d argue that their relationship was just as, if not more intimate than any of the other main characters were. They understood each other in a way the others didn’t, their shared guilt, feelings of inadequacy and their obsession with magic forged a deep connection from the get-go. Neither of them are big fans of PDA I think, though Caleb is tactile as hell (forehead touches and kisses, oh man, I’m so weak for those 😩👌) and some of their most iconic moments have them putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the other. Essek shaking off his forced guilt trip immediately after the now infamous forehead touch in ep140 was beautifully poetic, as was using his fortune’s favour to pull Caleb out of the rubble moments before. Caleb trying to include him in his Sphere of Invulnerability in the finale and Essek staying close to him the whole fight despite being obviously terrified of Trent was the icing on the cake. It’s clear that they care for each other a great deal; whether by the finale they’d consider it love is up for debate, but we know that’s eventually where it ended up and honestly, I love that. I deeply appreciated the fact Matt and Liam both emphasised that they took their time with their relationship, letting each other heal in their own way before they took the next step. All too often in media, and real life too sadly, a romantic relationship is seen as some kind of quick fix, and that a lover will somehow complete you or make all your problems vanish. They knew this wasn’t the case here, and that made it all the better.

While I would have *loved* to have seen them together as a couple right to the very end, the change in their relationship felt right, if bittersweet. I doubt they ever stopped loving each other, and if anything, choosing to shift to a deep and lifelong friendship over a romance that would cause them both so much pain is one of the kindest things you could do for someone you love. After all, friendship isn’t a downgrade, just another way of experiencing that same love, and it wasn’t as though they broke up and never saw each other again, it was pretty strongly implied that they remained a major feature in each other’s lives, they just changed their label slightly. Caleb would hate to have forced Essek to watch him wither away, and although his eventual passing would hurt Essek regardless, incompatible lifespans being what they are, having a period of time to adjust to it, to give them a buffer between the inevitable heartbreak was actually really sweet.

Their romance was no accident, they knew going in that it had a time limit, that it wasn’t going to be forever for one of them, and the fact they did it anyway says so much. They began their adventure wholeheartedly believing that they were both, in their own way incapable of love, only to later find it with each other. Whether their relationship lasted for a couple of years or multiple decades is irrelevant, what matters is that while it did they had a happy and fulfilled life together.

I know some folk wanted Caleb to use the transmogrification spell on himself so he could live on with Essek as another elf, or make him human instead, but that would have been way out of character for both I think. If they could have backwards engineered one of the rejuvenation stations in Aeor and used it to extend Caleb’s life by a hundred years or so, so he’d have a similar lifespan to Veth, now, I could have seen him possibly doing that, so he could spend more time with his best friend too, but nothing further I think. He longed to be reunited with his parents too much to postpone death unnaturally like that.

That both Caleb and Essek ultimately chose to live with their mistakes and make peace with themselves was incredibly cathartic, and I couldn’t imagine it playing out any better.

The fact Matt has explicitly stated Essek is Demi too means so much to me personally because the latter is a label I’ve been identifying with a lot recently, and it’s so rare for aspec relationships to get any representation! It has honestly given me a lot to think about over the last few days, and I really appreciate it.

To conclude, here’s a bit of shameless self promotion. I wrote this after watching the finale and honestly feel like it sums up my feelings on the nature of their relationship pretty well.

‘A casual hand on a shoulder, a waist, a wrist; a gentle kiss placed on a forehead is common between them now, an intimacy born of trust and mutual affection. Over time it grows, like a fire born of seasoned timber; gradual and steady, no spluttering kindling that flares and sparks, but a slow burn, one which lasts.

Their love is embroidered into every aspect of their lives together. Acts of service, of comfort, of understanding.

Sometimes a kiss leads to more than a kiss, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way they are content.‘

So yeah, I love these two wizard boys so very much and I couldn’t be happier with the conclusion of their stories. ❤️

[ginkgomoon]

Hello there! I hope everything is going well with you. (・∀・)

I have some questions. In CH 30 & 32 the Time Observer mentioned about the "price being too heavy/dear" & he mentioned that he never expected for Victor to choose that method to prevent the crisis. I was wondering what price is he talking about & what's "the method" he mentioned? & Victor collapsing in CH 32 was not from hitting the bullet I believe. What exactly happened there?

Also...I don't know the details but I think I saw it somewhere that Victor goes through different timelines & dimensions for 10000 years in the later part of the story...? I remember reading it in a R&S that every time he crosses a dimension he'd experience soul crushing pain... The mere thought of doing it for so long honestly made me feel traumatized. I was hoping you could give me some insights as to what exactly he was doing.

I hope I'm not bothering you with tons of questions & they made sense. Thanks a lot in advance! Have a good day! <3

Hello!!

Thank you, you too! :)

I hope I helped answered your questions here. It's quite long, so enjoy the read!

I did Victor’s Time Observer analysis and I’ll be heavily referencing that post to help answer this particular ask. Big thank you to @cheri-cheri and @ey8508 for help clarifying some of my thoughts concerning Victor this chapter! Spoilers down below! ⏱

“With great power comes great responsibility.” -The Peter Parker Principle

We all know Victor bears great power, but also with that comes great responsibility. He is the sole individual who has the will and power to alter time and space, however this develops drastic consequences to his health and to history- all for his love for MC.

Victor doesn’t care about this price- he is more concerned with whether he can prevent the death of the girl in every unpredictable future.

“The person who can save the world… is not me, but her. As for myself, I know my ending line and how much pain I can bear better than anyone. I would rather take such a risk.” -Chapter 35-36 Rumours and Secrets

Chapter 30-6

Victor is seen to be flanked by bodyguards on Adagio Street. Moments later, in a pure white space, we see the Time Observer addressing Victor.

I stood in the centre of the street, looking hesitantly around, but I was unable to spot that familiar figure.

In the dead of the night, from the distant horizon, there seemed to come the sound of a mechanical little violin.

In a boundless, pure white space, the music would be at time peaceful and solemn, and at others somber and mournful. After the final note, that pair of tightly-closed eyes opened.

The Time Observer looked at Victor, neither showing surprise.

That pale white hand brushed lightly over the violin strings, and his gravelly voice spoke up with the pluck of the string.

TO: “The natural rules of operations no longer supply. This world… in memory is a turbulent past and in imagination, there is no serene future. She should have stayed in that world. Her return was a mistake.”

Victor: “If you’re still here that means we still have a chance.”

TO: “A chance that comes at such a heavy cost. Is it really worth it? You will soon understand, in some things, you are doomed to helplessness. Try with all your might, and yet, it remains out of reach.”

Victor: “I won’t let her die again. No matter when."

This will foreshadow future events such as in Chapter 32, where Victor shows a demonstration of this.

Chapter 32-6

Amidst the scattering glass shards, I saw a number of bullets flying towards me.

Only one thought ran through my mind.

Am I going to die?

Chapter 32-8

In the darkness, a crack suddenly splits open, and a blinding light appears, obscuring my sight. My heartbeat practically came to a standstill, the pain I expected never came. The blinding light disappeared, instantaneously replaced by darkness.

Time seemed to pause for a second.

The pitch black bullets, the fractured glass, the car in mid-air…

And then it fell all heavily to the ground.

And in this moment, Victor challenged “fate”, or rather, the “natural rules of operations”, stated by the Time Observer.

I reached out and grabbed the black clothing fluttering before me. Even my voice was trembling.

MC: “Victor…”

I looked in a daze at the man before me, at those fierce eyes beneath his wind-blown hair.

He was looking back at me, as if trying to etch me into his eyes with his deep gaze. But there was another emotion hidden within as well.

After confirming he was unharmed, I let out a sigh, then looked anxiously into his eyes.

MC: “What are you doing here?”

Victor: “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

But this time, his voice was flat.

MC: “I’m sorry… but I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m not unaware of the danger… I must simply stay and stop them.”

I hastily wanted to get Victor out of danger, but his feet were planted firmly. I looked up, to get a look at his expression.

His voice was steady, stopping me in my tracks.

Victor: “I see.”

MC: “You really believe I can stop them?”

Victor: “I said before, even if you don't trust yourself, always trust me. I won’t do anything I'm not sure I can handle. Go what you think needs to be done.”

He patted the back of my head lightly, with a hint of tremor in his voice. He didn’t ask me or stop me, as if he already knew the choice I’d made.

So, while the STF agents and runaway Evolvers were battling, MC was literally going to die at that moment. But Victor enters- using his Evol to stop time, ultimately stopping the bullets and MC’s death.

I whirled around, hoping to catch sight of him.

MC: “Victor!”

I wanted to tell him I’d done it, that I really had prevented this crisis.

A faint worry floated up in my chest. What about Victor?

Medic: “Someone, come quick! There’s another person here!”

I turned and hurried to the end of the bridge.

I then quickly found him.

Ringed by a crowd of people, there he was, the person I would recognise anywhere.

It was…

I halted my steps for a moment, then ran to him without hesitation.

I broke into a panic.

Chapter 32-10

Victor… What happened to him??

I pushed the crowd aside and frantically ran to him.

His face was pallid, eyes squeezed shut, his hair plastered messily to his forehead with sweat. I grasped his hand, unable to believe how icy cold it felt to the touch.

MC: "How could you… Why did you…”

Just then, those eyes shut with pain cracked open. He pursed his lips and then coughed violently, blood started trickling out. Even like that, he still chuckled weakly.

Victor: “I used to think… that your problem was that you thought you could control fate all by yourself. Stubborn, self-reliant, in over your head. Whenever anyone tried to tell you anything, no matter what they said, it was always in one ear and out the other.”

Although it sounded a little weak, his voice was unusually calm, and didn’t really even pause or halt. Almost if, if he stopped, he wouldn't be able to start again.

Victor: “But I really did learn a little something from you. You are the thing unto yourself, so only know the best what your values and decisions should be. No one can guide you. And just like I can’t hold you back, you also can’t change this decision that I’ve made. Don’t ask why, this time, just let me say my piece.”

His voice grew weaker, but he managed to lift his right hand and place it over mine.

I clasped his hand, and a feeling of suspense and dread came over me like I'd never felt before.

MC: “I know… I know… You don’t have to say more.”

He was afraid of something, but not because his life was slipping away. It was more like… something would happen.

Victor closed his eyes, completely exhausted. I squeezed his hand tighter, as if trying to hang on to those remnants of warmth.

You have to make it through this.

A man standing by the riverside swiped his hand through the fog, swiped his hand through the fog, stirring it up into an erratic vortex.

Zero: “Did he actually…”

TO: Like I said before, he is the most suitable candidate.”

Zero: “But he refused to help us open the Door of Return.”

TO: “Perhaps it’s only temporary, and he’ll change his mind. I didn’t imagine he’d choose this method for preventing this crisis. Too bad… the price was so dear.”

After Victor saves MC from death, she finds him on the ground- pale and in terrible pain. Throughout Victor’s time with MC, we slowly see the influence he has on her- and the influence she has on him. He tells her that while she shoulders everything on her own and never listens to anyone, she did teach him things in the process. With her love and kindness, she strives to defy “nature's course” and saves worlds. Literally.

You were correct, Victor didn’t suffer injuries from the bullets because he stopped them just in time but Victor is overusing his Evol, and it’s gradually taking a toll on his body. Even back before MC crossed over to the Winter World, Victor was trying to find other alternative ways for MC to live and not sacrifice herself. Unfortunately, there were none. He did also suffer immense pain whenever he time traveled, especially when it led to his time travel pocket watch cracking and breaking in the end.

Victor would normally be practical and very principled in how he executes his plans, but this time around, it was him. This- he- was the plan. That's it. This is similar to how Victor opened a time rift to send MC away in Chapter 18- to somewhere and sometime in space. He waited for her to come back with the help of the Time Observers to confirm her safety. Only someone with his powerful Evol could do that, otherwise they’d risk losing consciousness in the “Time Rift”.

Additionally, he held onto that hope that MC could and would be saved in the end, like how he tried to find her for 17 years after the orphanage incident, not knowing whether she was dead or alive. Victor wants to wield that control, denying “helplessness” and “winning all the bets” he had with MC prior to her “death” in Chapter 18. Victor stated that if she couldn’t trust herself, then she should trust him and his decisions to protect her. Even if it’s detrimental to his health. Life-threatening, even. Because in the end, Victor knows he will always win. He just does.

And since he knows that he won’t be able to stop MC from doing what she wants, we now see him fully embracing then acting upon it. He accepts that she’s her own person and he has grown to have so much faith in her, seeing how she successfully survived Winter World then coming back home safe. It’s almost like- “okay. It’s you and me against the world”.

On the sidelines, Time observer and ZERO both observe, surprised that Victor will pay such a high price to avoid MC’s death from occurring- with the risk of his own. Could they have lost their most powerful time Evolver from this incident?

Though, we shouldn’t be surprised that the Time Observers think that Victor would be so foolish to use his Evol up to the point where it would actually kill him just to save MC. It's literally in their name- “Observers''- they haven’t and aren’t even allowed to actively participate in the events that happened in Loveland, let alone the different histories and worlds that existed, other than claiming to “correct it” by influencing other people who can. They don’t appear to have this kind of empathy in understanding Victor and why he wants to save MC’s life, or how important she is to him.

“You misunderstand. We never alter, we are correctors of history. We want you to join us, your power’s scope of influence has already surpassed the dimension of this current world. Before you are rejected by it…”

Victor: “I will not leave this world.”

“Even if you’ve seen the future of what is all to pass?”

Victor: “No matter what happens, the person I’m seeking for is right here.” -Black Curtain: Chapter 6

Also taken from my Time Observer Analysis-

Since Victor’s Evol is strong and has the capability to do more than “observe” like the Time Observers, he is the one who is deemed the most suitable and more responsible for “grasping the time in the past and the future”. Ever since STF found out about Victor’s Evol, they wanted him to cooperate with them too. Every time he stops time, certain surrounding energy and space changes.

The organisation also entertains the idea of fate, and how things should be refused to be changed. Since they have “seen the future of how the world ends”, they want Victor to cooperate with them in making it stop. Nobody can rewrite the ending among them, except him. Victor refuses to join because he doesn’t adhere to this idea.

“QUEEN’s return has brought unexpected consequences; the entire collapse of the world is ahead of schedule. The world’s line has come to an end, no matter through time or space, we can no longer interfere in this world.” Was there a difference in letting each world go to the end alone to close all the world lines in the future directly? Although we found a breakthrough, this situation really caused us a lot of headaches: she who should not have survived and she should not have been sent to other worlds. As a result, it would seriously interfere and disrupt the timeline. No one had done it before, and no one except Victor could do it.

In disbelief, we weighed it and threw the olive branch- as long as he is willing to cooperate, we will help him find her. As decisive as he was to refuse a few times before, this time he had promised me without thinking. And for a moment, I didn’t know if his decisiveness was good or bad. -Chapter 33-34 Rumours and Secrets

Victor "travelling ten-thousand years in the future" was mentioned in his Chapter 35-36 Rumours and Secrets. The Space and Time Administration (who the Time Observers were under) could "repair his abilities", after he stopped the bullets from hitting MC. He would have to stay there for the Space and Time Administration's time duration of ten-thousand years. Victor accepts. (BIG THANKS TO @cheri-cheri FOR CORRECTING ME LAST MINUTE WITH THIS ONE, YOU AMAZING HUMAN!!)

[psychologyofsex]

Would You Feel Jealous if Your Partner Got a Sex Robot?

I get asked about the future of sex a lot, and one of the topics that often comes up is how robots are going to change our intimate lives and relationships. Admittedly, there’s not a lot of research out there on this subject yet because sex robots are still in their infancy, so it’s hard to make concrete predictions. However, there has been some work looking at people’s attitudes toward sex robots and the results suggest that many people aren’t enthusiastic about the idea of sex robots—and, in particular, the idea of their partner using one. 

In a recent study, researchers surveyed 277 adults (average age of 27; 90% of whom were heterosexual) about their attitudes toward futuristic sex robots. They used an experimental design in which half of the participants were asked about a “sex robot” that “looks and feels just like humans,” whereas the others were asked about “a platonic love robot” with no physical body that is capable of providing “meaningful romantic and friendly relation to a human.” 

They were then asked how they felt about the idea of their partner owning such a robot, as well as how they think their partner would feel if the shoe were on the other foot (i.e., would your partner be cool with you owning one of these robots?)

In general, participants thought the idea of both robots sounded realistic; however, while there was quite a bit of variability in people’s feelings, attitudes toward both robots were negative overall.

Overall, men reported more positive attitudes toward robots than did women, but this was mainly true for the sex robot. When looking at the platonic love robot, men’s and women’s attitudes were fairly similar.

Regardless of robot type, men expected to feel less jealous if their partner got one compared to women. Also women reported higher feelings of jealousy about a sex robot compared to a love robot, which is contrary to what the researchers had expected to find (some past jealousy research has found that women report more emotional than sexual jealousy, which was the basis for their prediction).

When thinking about their partner owning a robot, men reported similar levels of dislike for both the sex and love robot; by contrast, women reported more dislike for their partner using a sex robot than a love robot.  

Lastly, when thinking about how your partner would respond if you owned a sex robot, men expected similar levels of dislike from their partner for both types of robots, whereas women anticipated more partner dislike if they used a sex robot than a love robot.  

Of course, these findings are limited because they’re based on how people feel about hypothetical sex/love robots. Most people just don’t have any personal experience with this technology yet. Also, people may have ideas of how they’d feel about robots that are shaped by popular media depictions, where it’s much more common to see female rather than male sex robots and where using these robots often ends in disaster (ever see Ex Machina or Westworld?) 

That said, these results point to important differences in how people feel about robots based on robot type (sex vs. love) and an individual’s gender. They also suggest that robots may eventually become a potential source of conflict in relationships to the extent that partners have different feelings about them. And perhaps this conflict will be more pronounced in mixed-sex (male/female) relationships due to differences in men’s and women’s attitudes, but less so in same-sex relationships (where partners’ attitudes may be more in line with each other). 

An interesting line of inquiry for future research would be to ask how people feel about using sex/love robots with a partner, as opposed to only one partner using them. When robots are framed as a substitute or replacement for a real-life partner, that may evoke more negative attitudes and jealousy. But what about when robots become a complement to a couple’s sex life, offering a new way for partners to interact together? For example, are people in relationships more open to the idea of robot threesomes rather than solo robot use?  

Also, what if sex/love robots were framed as a way of fixing a sexual or relationship problem? For example, if two partners want drastically different amounts of sex, could a sex robot be a viable solution to this problem and potentially reduce conflict and prevent infidelity? Or what about using sex/love robots in long-distance relationships where partners see each other very infrequently as a way of providing more sexual and intimate connection?   

So what do you think? How would you feel about the idea of using a sex vs. love robot yourself? And how would you feel if your partner used one?

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

To learn more about this research, see: Nordmo, M., Næss, J. Ø., Husøy, M. F., & Arnestad, M. N. (2020). Friends, lovers or nothing: Men and women differ in their perceptions of sex robots and platonic love robots. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 355.

Image Source: 123RF

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[imnotcameraready]

don’t tread on me

A/N: wow, i’m updating ANOTHER story? that’s not chivalry? amazing!!! 

anyway, this has been a very, very long time coming! i’m procrastinating on packing, but i’m super excited that you guys finally get to meet janus and remus in this au! they’re a real pair! 

WARNINGS: death/murder mention, alcohol mention, blackmailing, swearing/cursing, panicking, Logan Is A Serial Killer, blood mention (in a more medical sense) — if i forgot any, please let me know! 

Pairings: Logince, Demus/Dukeceit | mentions of: Moxiety, past Analogical 

Words: 3366

AO3 link!

masterpost to the serial killer logan au!

here we go! (fitting that the next side to get his own actual readmore cut off photo is logan, i love the nerd)

This couldn’t be real. 

Logan’s hands nursed the mug in front of him, watching the steam roll off in plentitudes. He had the offending letter in his breast pocket, inside his coat, and he could feel the sleekly folded pages press against his chest when he inhaled. 

It was a curious situation he’d found himself in. The first person to catch on to what he’s been doing wasn’t his boyfriend, wasn’t his ex-boyfriend detective, wasn’t even his ex-boyfriend detective’s new semi-boyfriend partner. And he could tell because, instead of being taken out in handcuffs, Logan had just received a personalized letter to his place of work with details about the latest killing, the statement that the sender knew that Logan was the culprit, and a meeting time and location. The letter was typewritten and then scanned again, to make it nigh impossible to find fingerprints or individualities in the writing, but he could definitely read it. Signed off by someone who called themselves “Deceit.”

And they were blackmailing him.

Logan took a sip of his coffee. No one he knew personally had the lack of morality to blackmail. Heck, even he didn’t, and he was a murderer. Talk about rudeness.

At least the meeting was to be quick. He checked his watch again — he’d arrived about half an hour before his meeting with the blackmailer for another meeting, with some journalist interviewing him about a research award. Roman’s brother was moving into town, was throwing a house warming party that they’d been invited to, and Logan didn’t want to miss getting to finally meet Roman’s only other living relative.

He always had quite the weirdest of stories to tell about this brother, Remus, and Roman seemed so ecstatic about him moving closer that Logan didn’t want to let him down. They had been going fairly steady for the past year and a half, with Roman somehow still unaware that Logan had committed ten murders. 

It would do well to continue laying low, after the most recent murder. Logan was a little sloppier, in a rush, trying to dispose of the body in a manner almost too crass for him. That was about four weeks ago. Of course, in Logan’s mind it was a messy endeavour, but even that would be too detailed for Virgil or Patton to trace. He was safe from them. 

Perhaps Roman would question the blood on his shirt, but he could always write it off with a story of how things broke in the lab. Those are some of Roman’s favorite stories. He was so interested in Logan’s work that it was easy enough to distract him from Logan’s other extracurriculars.

“Excuse me,” he overhears someone talking to the barista, while he sips his coffee, “Have you seen Doctor Logan Webster?”

“Janus Daniels?” he calls out to the man at the register.

They spin around, and grin upon locking eyes with Logan. This must be the journalist, then. They slink forward, a thick mustard scarf wrapped around their shoulders and atop their black trenchcoat. They’re wearing a bowler hat, too, which may fit with the weather, though not with the decade. 

Logan also notices the skin discoloration around this person’s left eye. Vitiligo, by the looks of it, all along the left side of their face. It’s juxtaposed by their dark hair and punctuated by the difference in color between their two eyes, one amber and one near white.

They offer out a yellow-gloved hand, which Logan takes, both shaking firmly and heartily. When they pull their hand back, they’re smiling. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, Dr. Webster,” they say, taking out a recorder from their jacket, “Hope the coffee’s not too cold.”

“It hasn’t been very long. And I’ve been examining notes, grading papers,” Logan tries to dissuade the journalist’s concerns, smiling back himself, maintaining a perfect, unreadable composure. He shouldn’t let his two worlds bleed into each other, after all.

Janus smiles back, and taps a pen into their notebook. They flip to another page, glance over something written, and then nod to the recorder. “May I record this interview?” they ask. 

Logan waves his hand. Standard procedure for a dual-consent state. “Yes.”

They press a button on the little box, and ask again. “Once more, on recording, may I record this interview?”

“Yes.”

It goes fairly quick after that. Logan had recently been part of a team of eight researchers, sending information back and forth regarding the clotting abilities of platelets. The end result had included information on how to use certain enzymes to signal to the platelets to clot over certain wounds. If these enzymes could be delivered outside of the bloodstream, then it may lead to a faster and cheaper way to produce certain medical products, even close wounds that would bleed out into fatalities. This would also have a higher success rate, considering the process relied heavily on the natural healing process. 

The interview lasts roughly forty minutes. It’s a perfect length, too, since Logan has to run from this immediately to wherever the blackmailer says to meet him. In the letter, he’d been told to await further instructions, but this journalist couldn’t have met him another time in the day. Of course, he could have turned Janus away, but there was no one else on the team that they’d gotten the chance to speak to. Ignoring them would have been setting them up for failure.

“Blood clotting,” Janus murmurs, “Can you think of any other practical applications to that?”

Logan shrugs. It’s a mundane question, too trivial for someone who had so narrowly missed a Nobel prize, but almost too large for an article meant for the general public. He knew the drill; he’d spoken to many reporters before. “Oh, if something like this were to be commercialized, then military-grade medical supplies could begin entering the consumer market. That would drastically change the household medical landscape as we know it.”

He checks his watch again, and sighs. If he leaves now, he might be able to make it back to his office to await further instructions. Janus must notice his discomfort, because they sign off on the recording, and then stow the device away.

Logan gives them a grateful look while he packs his notes back into his bag. “This has been a lovely interview, but I have a prior engagement for 2 p.m.,” he tries to explain.

Janus just watches him with a wry smile. They shrug, taking a sip of their coffee silently.

That’s when Logan’s blood begins to, no pun intended, run cold. What kind of expression is that?

“I don’t think you have to go anywhere, Doctor,” Janus’s voice is light as they take out a piece of paper from their other pocket, “We can have our little meeting here.”

They open the paper up before Logan, only to show the same letter he’d gotten in the mail days ago, only the original form. 

Logan scans it for a few seconds before slumping back into the chair. He’d been had. 

“....So. Janus. How did you figure it out?” he’s moved beyond these theatrics. So Janus, Deceit, had set up this whole interview. Was the article even real? Logan had indeed vetted the reporter, was sure that they were a journalist. That’s all any of their social medias focused on, anyway.

Janus shrugs, still smiling a little. “I can’t speak for all of my sources, but once I got the details, it wasn’t too hard,” they say, “Roman’s far too dramatic to be committing such a quiet act and the similarities are far too uncanny to be him. But someone with access to the equipment necessary to drain a body of blood, someone with experience in the field, well….”

This was infuriating. Logan hadn’t even assessed Janus thoroughly during the interview. They were just so unassuming. 

Was that how this a success? Logan had simply underestimated them? What else was he possibly overlooking, then. 

What was the purpose of all of this, too? Logan hadn’t done anything to Janus, not to his knowledge. Maybe they had a relation to one of Logan’s victims? That would be an incredible oversight on his part. But that still wouldn’t explain why they were resorting to blackmail above letting the authorities know.

“Don’t worry too hard. I’m certain your ex hasn’t figured out heads nor tails of the case yet,” Janus leans back and sets their gloved hands on the table, “And I don’t intend on letting him know. Virgil’s not stupid but he doesn’t have the evidence that I do.”

“How do you know about Virgil?” Logan’s mouth runs dry.

No one knew about Virgil. It had been so long since they’d broken up—that was all old news. 

But Janus just laughs, a soft, tinkling sound. “He’s the head detective on the case, anyone in the police department could have told you,” they wave their hand, as though this were a simple matter, something not worth scrutinizing. 

They don’t seem to think that them knowing Virgil is Logan’s ex is weird. That’s not on Logan’s social media, nor is it on Virgil’s, as few as he has. How the fuck did Janus figure that out?

For the first time in a long while, Logan has no idea what to do. His chest was clutching his heart so tight that it was difficult to breathe. 

There were so many questions. And Janus’s gaze, once amicable, now seemed to look deeper into Logan than any of his microscopes at his lab. What did Janus know? How much did he know? The letter was so vague, just a time and place and knowledge that Logan was the killer. This probably wasn’t even a confrontation, they probably just wanted to confirm that Logan was afraid, and he’d walked right into their trap. 

How stupid! He needed to be much more careful if individuals like this Deceit were figuring out who he was and what he was doing.

But time to cut to the chase. “Well, you know the facts. When are you planning to tell him?” Logan asks, prepared for the worst.

At that notion, though, Janus’s face scrunches up. “Me? Tell Virgil? God, no, you misunderstand,” Janus waves their hand, “Let me explain myself. I have a personal stake in your activities, Logan, and I simply wanted some reassurance that I and those around me will stay safe.”

That was. Very.

Once again, Logan was thrown for another loop. What the hell? Janus just wanted protection? “I assure you, I won’t target you or anyone you present to me,” Logan says, fighting to keep the anger out of his voice, “That’s an incredibly petty reason to be going to these lengths, though. If you know this much about me, as much as you’ve been alluding to, then you would know that I likely wouldn’t target you in the first place.”

Janus shrugs once again and that blank smile. This was a thick mystery. 

Logan leans forward, to ask another question, when someone’s loud voice entering the cafe makes him jump. Agh, he’s getting so paranoid now. He had to take a step back. 

“AYO!” the person shouts, “SNAKEY!”

And then the person bodyslams Janus. Logan jumps back in surprise, but Janus laughs warmly, reaching up and hugging the newcomer with one arm. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” they purr.

“What’s up, babe dot net,” the newcomer kisses Janus’s temple before pulling a chair from the empty table beside them and sitting right between Janus and Logan.

And then he looks at Logan, finally. He had shaggy brown hair with a few grey streaks through the front. His eyes were a glittering green, just like Roman. In fact, the person’s entire demeanor seemed uncannily like Roman’s, despite how he was clothed in a patched leather jacket and a green fishnet shirt. He also had a nose piercing, a lip piercing, an eyebrow piercing, and, from what Logan could see, six earrings. There was a curled mustache across his face, too, which added to Logan’s assessment that this man was, well. What was the best word. Weird?

He holds out a hand to Logan, grinning ear to ear. “Heya, Specs. You must be the Doc’. How’s the blood?”

Oh my God. Logan blinks, biting his tongue for a second as he takes the person’s hand and shakes. “Yes. My name is Logan. Nice to meet you.”

“Remus! A pleasure,” Remus sticks his tongue out and winks as they shake hands, “So you’re my lil’ brother’s bitch, eh?”

Holy fuck. There was absolutely no way. This wasn’t on any of Janus’s social medias, either. Logan had done as much of a background check as he could on the reporter, there weren’t—there wasn’t any indication—Roman hadn’t mentioned that his brother had a partner—

The cogs in Logan’s head were stopping. This was a ridiculous series of events, there was no way that this was happening. “Remus...Del Sol?” Logan asks. 

Remus giggles. Janus reaches an arm around his waist, pulling him closer to them, and Remus abides by snuggling his face into Janus’s neck and literally licking him. 

“Remus is my partner,” Janus says, and Logan can see, is absolutely infuriated by the level of shit-eating that Janus’s grin holds, “He was too excited to meet you, so he wanted to drop in on our interview.”

Oh my god, they had interviewed earlier. Yes. That was correct. Logan nods, though he can’t find his voice to say anything. Interview. Remus doesn’t know, then?

It seems that Remus doesn’t mind or doesn’t notice, which is good, at least. “I was just so excited to get to know my baby brother’s boytoy, you know? Though you’re definitely the braincell he’s missing, sheesh!” Remus cackles, and Janus chuckles warmly along with the joke, “You’re coming to tonight’s party, right? I’m buyin’ extra tequila for the drama queen.”

Logan nods. And that’s enough for Remus, it seems, because he laughs heartily and slaps Logan’s shoulder. 

But Logan still can’t get over the fact that his boyfriend’s twin brother’s partner is blackmailing him. I’m sorry, he really can’t. 

“Remus, darling, I’m going to leave you here for a second so I can take this,” Janus stares at their wrist, seemingly infatuated with their Apple watch. 

Remus patted Janus’ ass as they stand up and step out of the cafe. And then it’s just Remus and Logan. 

That’s more acceptable. Janus is such a wildcard, Logan doesn’t know what to do. Is he worried that Logan would kill Remus? What for? 

“So,” Logan blinks, focusing back on Remus, who watches him with a much harsher look, “You’re Logan.”

“....Yes,” is all he can say. There’s only so much Logan can take in a day.

“You think you’re good enough for my little baby prince.”

Ah. Was he getting the big brother talk? He thought they were twins. “Aren’t you and Roman the same age?” he asks. 

Remus leans forward, placing both of his hands on the table, squinting at Logan’s face. Up close, Logan can definitely smell the sweat wafting off of Remus. Good lord, did he bathe? His mustache was held up by some sort of grease, so it was clear that the man kept his appearance in check. His face, too, up close, was populated by a multitude of small scars. Remus points up at Logan with one finger, only a few inches from his actual face. 

“You hurt my little brother and I’ll have to kill you,” he says. 

Now that was laughable. Remus didn’t seem to be joking, considering how rigid his facial expression was, but Logan couldn’t really think about the possibility of someone killing him. He wasn’t worth killing, in any case. Up front, he was doing good by the world, researching ways to make life easier for those who needed it. And behind the scenes, he was keeping the city ever more clear of those who would break the safety of others. It wasn’t like he murdered just anyone, you know. 

Remus didn’t seem to be targeting him, too, over the whole murderer thing. He squints more at Logan—likely awaiting a response.

“I don’t intend on hurting him,” Logan keeps his voice as level as possible, “In fact, I love your brother very much. This past year and a half has been the best in my life.”

Remus squints even more. There’s no way that wasn’t an acceptable answer, though. Maybe he’s off-put by the rigidity that Logan himself is holding his person. He’s a little shaken still, but he manages a smile. 

At that, Remus raises an eyebrow, but he slowly sinks back down into his chair, slouching his back and throwing one arm over Janus’ vacant seat. He drums one hand’s fingers against the table, slow, in some sort of thought. 

“It better be. My brother’s a catch. The best boyfriend life coulda thrown at you,” he declares, and then he slaps his hand on the table, “I guess I’ll see how good of a boyfriend you are tonight then.”

Logan chuckles. “If you would like to gauge my abilities as a partner, then tonight is likely the best time,” he says. 

Going home will be nice. Roman has likely picked out an outfit already, maybe had moved on to an acceptable make up routine. 

“We’re gonna have to get you a keg stand, Doc Oc,” Remus snickers, hiding his mouth behind his hand. 

Logan doesn’t necessarily drink that much. He definitely doesn’t drink beer. A keg stand sounds quite out of the ordinary, too, for a house party. “Oh?”

“I gotta see how well you can suck!” Remus lets out a laugh, harsh and biting, and Logan deflates just a little.

Ah. Roman had warned that Remus was a little more outlandish. Perhaps this was simply an exposé. Good to be shocked now than in front of an audience, he supposed. 

Logan was saved from having to respond by Janus, who returned quickly. Remus lifts his arm for Janus to sit, but instead, Janus grabs him by the shoulder and tugs him up. 

“Logan,” they say, and Logan’s taken aback by how serious their tone is, in contrast to how controlled they sounded earlier. You know, during the blackmail.

“Yes?”

“You haven’t seen the university’s campus yet today, right?” 

What an odd question. Logan shakes his head; no reason to lie about something so easily provable. “No. Roman and I were together all day before I arrived here for our appointment,” buying housewarming gifts. Roman’s quite excited about the throw pillows and framed photos he arranged.

Janus gives him a hard look, motioning for all of them to leave, and Logan doesn’t think twice. He picks up his bag, sets down some cash as a tip, and follows Remus out. The sudden movement and the urgency of such felt like it deserved explanation, though. “Why?” 

Janus looks back at him, over their shoulder, and sets their hat back atop their head. “You should go home and check in with the university’s administration,” they say, and Logan notes how that doesn’t answer the question in the fucking slightest. 

“Work?” Remus asks. 

It sounds like he might know a little more than Logan. Remus wraps an arm around Janus’ waist and kisses their cheek quickly. “I’ll see you later tonight, babe, you be safe! There’s a killer on the loose!” he shoots Logan and Janus both finger guns, and then flips them both off. 

While Remus grabs a motorcycle—of course he rides a motorcycle, he seems the type, how are he and Roman related?!—Janus turns back to Logan. Their jaw is set and, for the first time during this whole visit, Logan can sense a bit of fear. 

“You weren’t at the university. Right?” they ask.

Logan shakes his head. “I wasn’t. The last time I was on campus was yesterday,” he says.

The repetition of the question is worrying. He doesn’t know what might have happened. Was there an accident? 

Janus exhales, looking around to make sure no one’s near them, before leaning in just a little more. “A body was found in the chemistry building. Poisoned.”

taglists!

General: @jemthebookworm​ @okay-finne​

Serial Killer Logan AU: @theunoriginaldaisy​

[tialasnow]

Wandering

“ That's the price you pay

Leave behind your heart and cast away

Just another product of today

Rather be the hunter than the prey

And you're standing on the edge face up

‘Cause you’re a natural “

It was a great feeling, to finally be herself. To drop the facade, to gain her sense of self back. Whatever twisted memories that the creature planted with her mind were revealed to be false and while they still impacted, she had gained the chance to return to a semblance of her old self.

Those who knew Tiala during her time serving with the Horde would hardly recognize the woman she is now. The once bold and powerful Tiala now kept an illusion of frailty and submission. And while she enjoyed being who she was it was a constant battle inside. As much as she’d love to return to one way of the other she was stuck between two people.

The whispers had fallen silent since that day. The deal her ancestors struck still giving her power over shadow. Her only price being the fading scars that covered her body. Even the thought of that day brought a shiver down her spine. The pain was indescribable, so much so that she couldn’t remember it. Just a chilling memory of pain and horror remained in her mind.

It was interesting to serve the other side. For a long time she proudly served the horde with her fellow Sin’dorei. She stood tall along with those in her company against any threats to their way of life, including the Alliance. Now she found herself with her former enemies. That was a change she made long ago however. She was comfortable within the Alliance, welcome fully at this point.

The sea breeze brought a smile to the Quel’dorei’s face, a pleasant smell that always managed to calm the woman. It was why she lived so close to the sea in fact. She walked by herself lazily through the streets of Boralus. It was late, she’d just finished playing for a group of soldiers and decided that she wasn’t quite ready to return to her tavern room.

A noise cut the woman’s stride short as her ear flicked back to meet the sound. Footsteps, several of them in fact. She turned to face them, four men, all holding blades out to the bard, faces sneering at the small woman.

“Don you know it’s dangerous for a small girl like ya’self to be walkin’ all alone ‘ere.” The larger of them stepped forward lowering his blade to his side. “Now jus’ cooperate an’ we won’t ‘ave to do anything drastic to ya.” The three behind him laughed moving to circle around the elf.

“She ain’t even armed boss! ‘ow much ya think we can ransom ‘er for?” a voice came from behind her now, one of the smaller of the men.

“Are we really going to do this? I’ve had a long night.” The bard’s eyes narrowed, her voice flat, bored. It wasn’t too long ago that she was in a similar situation, the stabbing that resulted in the end of her adventuring.

It was a dreary night in Stormwind. Just a few hours had passed since she learned of Rafael’s death and, while she didn’t feel any remorse or sorrow at his passing, she had spent the evening with someone who did. He was a terrible person, he used her to further his music and to bed her.

She had been walking alone, she had nowhere to go anyway. She was homeless, hoping from tavern to tavern playing her guitar just to get a warm meal and a bed for the night. Three men had surrounded the woman during a daydream. They demanded her money and when discovering she had none attempted to steal her guitar to pawn off. All three of them had died that night, but not before one shoved his blade deep into the adventurer’s spine.

“Tryin’ ta act tough. It won’ work girl.” The leader brandished his blade reaching forward, grabbing at the collar of the bard’s shirt and pulling her in. “Ya can’t beat us, so might as well give in.”

“No one has to die tonight.” She stood her ground staring down her would be captor. Her calmness was getting to the others. They’d gone through this routine with helpless people all the time, yet this woman didn’t flinch.

The leaders hand tightened as it suddenly gripped the air where the bard once was. She was gone, replaced by a fleeting shadow that slipped from his hands as quickly as it appeared.

A grunt caused three of the men to look around their eyes locking on the smaller of the group, a blade to his throat and the bards hand lazily draped over his shoulder.

“What are you?” He coughed craning his neck from the cold blade.

“A girl who isn’t even armed.” She smirked from behind the helpless man. She didn’t have intentions to kill anyone, but putting on a show was her job.

“You bitch! Release ‘im now!” The leader drew his blade barking at the elf.

“I will, but only if you drop that blade of yours. I told you, no one needs to die tonight.” She glared adjusting her grip on the conjured blade. “If not I hold no remorse killing him and the rest of you sorry fools.” A glimmer of shadow spread across the boys chest revealing a conjured sword, now in the bards hand.

“Fine, lower your arms.” He snarled as he spoke his eyes locked with the bard’s. “Ya’r not worth it anyway.” He spit at her boot turning away.

Tiala sighed pushing the boy forward into his companions. With a turn on her heel she walked away from the group still holding the dagger to her side. She walked briskly hoping they wouldn’t change their minds and try their luck at attacking the woman.

The truth was, while she had the upper hand in that situation, four armed men could easily overpower her. She wasn’t as fast as she used to be, her body still not fully recovered.

The healer had told her she was lucky she could even walk. The mugger’s blade had cut deep into her spine, too deep. Jolts of pain and pangs of numbness had plagued the bard ever since. It was a forced retirement from her mercenary days. She couldn’t even carry her weapon anymore let alone wear the full set of her plate armor.

It was months before she was able to walk properly. Each step drew the risk of going numb and blacking out. It was slow and painful, but she fought. She wasn’t content on being a prisoner to her own disability.

Even to this day she struggled to exert herself. She couldn’t run for long, she had to rely on magic to defend herself. Her nerves had taken a beating especially during her attempts to force her own recovery. She had to be careful, standing too quickly, running too long, pushing herself, it could bring the risk of her body loosing itself, her mind falling dark as her number limbs buckled underneath her.

It was strange, but her injury had actually left a positive impact on her life. With mercenary work out of the picture she focused on her music. She flourished, she hit her stride. She was able to purchase a home, she found steady work.

She wasn’t a fighter anymore, and whatever story she told people to explain why she stopped was far from the truth. She wanted to fight, it was what she felt she was meant to do, but she couldn’t anymore.

She stopped in her tracks glancing at the building to her left. An office that she intended on visiting in the morning. She wanted to help and was given an offer. While it wasn’t her area of expertise she found herself rather capable of gathering information, and if she could help that way then she would gladly sign up.

While it would be foolish for her to enlist given her circumstances she could certainly help and her talk with the director reassured that within her. Nodding to herself she continued walking. It was getting rather late, late enough that even she felt the need to return home.

Her eyes glanced around the empty streets, checking to be sure she was alone before a rift opened in front of her. Slipping inside she appeared in the main hallway of her Stormwindian home. It was quiet, a normality for the nearly empty building. Mytherael was often out working and those who used to spend the nights were gone.

She sighed taking a few steps forward into the darkened home, glancing into each room as she passed by on her way up to her third story bedroom. She could feel one coming on. Her head was starting to swim, each step seemed difficult, as if her brain was forgetting how to do even the most basic of things. She slipped on a step, her eyes didn’t see it, a strange visual blind spot that had formed. With a grunt she fell hitting her shoulder and head against the hard surface of her stairway.

As she closed her eyes she could feel herself slip away. Her vision was fading fast but at least she remained conscious long enough to catch herself only falling down one step. This was the norm for her since her injury, this was why she couldn’t exert herself. Even walking through her home could be dangerous if she wasn’t careful.

She blinked awake slowly her head beating in pain in sync with her heart. She was hazy, her vision foggy. There was no way of knowing just how long she’d been unconscious this time. With a grunt she lifted herself off the floor, using the railing for support. She sighed, there was no way she’d make it up the stairs right now. She wandered slowly, groggily to her living room couch just in time to fall against the cushions heavily.

She would awaken tomorrow feeling better, she always did.

OOC Note: Hi, Tiala’s mun here. So in this writing I explored Tia’s disability that prevents her from fighting like she used to. I suffer from nerve damage due to medical issues and actually go through what I had Tiala experience on a day to day basis. Tumblr and RP gives me an interesting platform to express how I feel with my disability and to explore what it would be like to have it in different settings. While I changed it enough to not just copy myself exactly I am emulated a lot of the same issues that I have.

Anyway thank you all for reading, I look forward to this new arc for Tiala.

[agentaw]

Detroit: Become Human - Funny story...

Okay... so Story Time because my friends pointed this out and it’s been fucking with me ever since.

This is the story of how I kinda...sorta wrote/ predicted parts of DBH about...2 years ago. Just hear me out...okay?

So this all started similarly to how DBH started, with that dope-ass demo back in 2012. My 15 year old self became enthralled in it, much like I am now enthralled in the full game. I’ve always loved story telling and had a sort of soft spot for digital modelling. So that demo was a masterpiece to me, it had a great concept and beautiful design. It was a short obsession but it had an impact. 

And that was the last piece of news I’d ever hear about it until a month after they released the full game. I remember hearing some rumour that they weren’t gonna make it a full game or something and left it at that. I didn’t hear anything about it’s coverage at E3 because while I like video games, I become absorbed in different obsessions from time to time. 

And two years ago I was obsessed with Dungeons and Dragons, the thought of creating a whole world and having others enter it was fascinating. And while I tried to create worlds from scratch, I had a problem. 

I had never been too interested in Fantasy things, I liked fantasy characters but tended to focus on too much of the political aspect of fantasy worlds and not the fun stuff like slaying dragons and stuff. 

The return of an old obsession began to try and take my focus off of DnD but I wasn’t ready to let it go yet. 

So I merged them, DnD didn’t have to be fantasy, I didn’t have to invent a world from scratch and luckily my old obsession had a world pre-designed. Marvel, specifically MCU had a treasure trove of lore and I could take a number of rules from DnD 5e and tweak them to suit the change in genre. 

So I started off with a one shot campaign, set in a HYDRA base. My three player characters would be playing themselves and making decision based on how they’d react. They ‘woke up’ in a white plastic robot body. Singular, all three were in the same body, looking through the same eyes and rolling for control over said robot body. It was entertaining to watch them figure out what they hell was going on organically. They quickly met the first NPC an old doctor/sciencist who was a very nervous person. He explained that they’d all been loaded into the same body by accident and that he was just testing out that his creation (the body itself) was working correctly. So my players decided to answer the jumpy doctors questions and let one of them take control as the doctor got them to walk around while still connected to the computer around them by a bunch of wires connected to the back of their neck. The doctor left the room briefly (to report to his superiors) before returning and calmly explaining that he’d need to shut them down before making the rest of the bodies. Yes, this was heavily inspired by the demo but the players didn’t notice or didn’t comment on it at the time. And they genuinely really like the one-shot. So, I started writing more, growing the campaign and expanding my list of NPCs.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “wow...you ripped off the demo and think that counts as writing a whole game” but I never said I wrote the whole story, that would be mental. But as both me and my players have pointed out, there is a large number of similarities which is spooky because as i already stated I didn’t know anything about DBH until almost a month after it’s full release. 

The first and most profound is Amanda. Or my Amanda, who’s called Ruth LaRue. Dr. Ruth LaRue, the trio’s psychologist/co-creator who acts pleasant (too pleasant) towards them...unless they disobey or resist their training to become Hydra Assets. One of my players is rebellious and LaRue has tried to manipulate and coldly threatened him as a result. While another obeys and gets praise and rewards as a result. Also she looks like Amanda (a character i didn’t even know existed), I originally described her as the same race, hairstyle, though slightly younger. And then I drew her (poorly) for my players to get a better idea of how she looked and Jesus Christ they look the same. 

Another is the fact that I have three player characters. There was a possible fourth player but work and life made it difficult for her to be a part of the game. Also my players are two boys and one girl. And while that’s all freaky, their characters appearances/designs are extra weird. Originally, after all getting their own bodies, they all had white plastic robot bodies, all male design (which female player wasn’t happy about because she missed her boobs). The only way to tell them apart was voice and the nervous doctor had given them different coloured eyes. Creating robots came with the challenge of figuring out how their bodies worked (one player was particularly interested in this). Once again inspiration partly came from the Kara demo, the robots are a water (blue liquid) based system, a pump (heart) transports water, which is collect in bags (lungs) through the robots absorbing moisture in the air (through breathing), around the machine frame (body). The water has two purposes, to thinly coat the white plastic casing (skin), which allowed the robot to feel pressure but not texture and also to keep the pump valves going, which creates the energy the machines (players) are run on. After learning that the white plastic version could be easily broken during training, the nervous doctor created a second batch of models, this time made out of metal (female asked for a female body and therefore the doctor gave her a large dent in her chest plate, she was pleased). They then get a new model, ones that are designed to blend in with humans. And this is where this section gets super freaky. The player got no say in how they looked because in game they wouldn’t. 

The female is the shortest model as well as they palest model with loads of freckles, the similarities with Kara stop there but the female player has been gifted a female kitten (thankfully named Cookie, not Alice) as the reward and is quite paranoid about it being taken off her or harmed (calm down, I haven’t hurt the cat...yet). 

One of the males is only slightly more tanned than the female with considerably less freckles and markings. He’s the tallest and the player has been surprisingly obedient, only "failing” when he doesn’t understand what’s happen or doesn’t think something will benefit HYDRA. Because of this he’s been promoted to team leader by the powers that be. He’s logical and is usually thinking about training and what’s going on in the NPCs’ heads. 

Lastly we have the second male who looks southern European (Spain, Italy, Greece and could probably pass as Mexican but the story is set in central Europe) so a different ethnicity/race to the other two. This is the rebellious player who generally plays pranks, cracks jokes and says “fuck you” to authority. Like I said before as a result, he tends to be the one looked down on and oppressed by the powers that be. He generally has a very clear line which he won’t cross no matter what and is willing to stand up if he views something as drastically wrong (refused to hurt his friends or pick up a gun).

Also when asked what they wanted to be called (I.e What’s your name?) The players decided to to sick to what the nice nervous doctor had designated them, i.e the colours of their eyes. Rebellious is Red. Logical is Blue and Female is Purple (name later changed to Violet).

Next is three more NPCs, who have enough in common with the DBH characters to mess with me. 

The nervous doctor, Dr. Thomas Thornley, while having a completely different personality, has formed relationships like Hank. A number of the players refer to him as “Daddy Thornley”, not to his face but when talking to each other in game. And most disturbingly the rebellious player has implied on several occasions that he “ships” the logical male player with father-figure Thornley, jokingly of course. And while in the beginning Thornley may have viewed the robots as a project or experiment, he now appears quite protective and fond of them. Even displaying discomfort when one is broken or completely destroyed. 

Their combat and gun trainer, Agent Woodrow who is ex-military and treats the robots exactly like you’d expect he would, like machines. He could either be Gavin or Captain Allen but either way he’s a genuine aggressor and dislikes/hates the robots. 

The Head of Hydra, Director Malachi Storm who has an air of mystery around him and commands any room he enters. He’s considerable less creepy than Kamski but is an “all-knowing, all-powerful” character. Also I guess I’m technically also Elijah Kamski (a.k.a GOD) and my players pointed out that i have his sadistic, power hungry play style (thanks, guys).

Lastly is a few game mechanics and events i put in the game. The players have always been able to telepathically talk to one another, they can also transfer images to each other. If broken beyond repair (i.e Killed) they now get automatically rebuilt, similar to Connor. I made LaRue give them a morality test which was mostly the “Track dilemma” which is similar to both the driver-less car AIs and the Kamski test. I actually did the motherfucking Kamski test with one or two of my players (but with humans instead of androids lol). Also the players believe they’re alive (which technically they are). They’ve literally been give zero context as to how they are in robot bodies in the MCU, specifically they’re last memories before the start of the game are of going to sleep in their beds in the real world. They are literally three robots walking around stating that they’re alive. 

And yes, I realise that Cage took shit from other movies but it have seen any of those movies so...:P

If I looked hard I could probably find more scary comparisons but a) I don’t particularly want to show all my cards, in case my players read this post, and b) I appear to have written a fucking TED talk out of what was supposed to be a short funny story. 

[rfhusnik]

Presumptions Part One:  At Home And At The Mall

Written By:  F. John Surells

 Here’s a composition about the thoughts, postulations, and speculations one’s presence at a certain location, or one’s sight of a certain object may engender in a mind so easily inspired. And here’s an attempt to organize miscellaneous musings. Oh, I know that one’s imagination can be sent off wondering and wandering due to many stimuli. But only those who really care about the downtrodden wear expensive dresses with meaningless phrases affixed upon them to expensive upper class get-togethers. Yes, I guess taxing the rich more aggressively would solve all of humanity’s problems.

           Nonetheless, we know that “I’ve got my eye on you” can be either a remark of admiration or a threat of surveillance. But I suppose it doesn’t always need to be one of those. Sometimes, as when I stroll through the mall, I catch sight of people and things who and which send my mind wheeling. And then, with senses enlivened, I look at those people and things and wonder if I could know all that’s of importance to, or because of them.

And today I’ve just returned from a walk in the mall. And while walking there I met a stranger whom I’ve decided to recommend to our city’s mayor as a possible writer of Part Two of this piece. Oh, he’s only a factory worker he said. And, he has no writing experience. Yet, I told him that Mayor Jennifer had informed me that it was just such a person as he, that he (the mayor) wished to write in this forum soon.

And, I believe I’ll find solace walking in the mall – until leftists ban that activity too. Their goal seems to be that no one, except they themselves, should enjoy any aspect of human life. But, as long as solitary walks are still legal, here’s a dedication to all the instances when sudden encounters with any type of noun (person, place, or thing) engage our imagination, and change our focus from the stage of the current moment, to either previously, or non-previously considered outcomes and/or ramifications of either past actualities, or future possibilities. Yet, everyone’s mind strays from the present from time to time. That’s what you’d say, right? Well, for my sake please consider what follows now to be a meaningful, although perhaps somewhat arrogant retort.

I’d imagine that if these words could accurately and verifiably offer acknowledgement, documentation, and hope of and for the past, present and future, then I’d be permitted to adjudge them useful and constructive. But they can’t alter all that was and is, still, it may be that they can offer assistance to a search for better days to come.

I like to walk in our city’s largest mall, and sometimes I do enter one or more of the stores therein. And thus it was that one day, inside a consignment store within that mall, I came upon the so-called “Green Flower Pot”. And I must admit its dark green color was what first caught my eye. But then I noticed it also had spots of black which seemed to matter greatly in regard to its overall appearance and aura. Yet, initially I thought its price to be too pricey. Still, its allure was too great, so I purchased it. But as I see it now, here at home, I sense it also has a basic presentation devoid of any attributes a wondering mind may try to assign it. And, I also need to admit that I fear it’s not a flower pot at all, but rather some sort of water or tea dispenser which I’m thinking may have been purposely given a misnomer by the “status-quo” so that group of status could then incorrectly identify it as a relic of the 1960’s; you know, “flower” and “pot”.  

Oh, and isn’t it strange how the mind can be stimulated by just the sight of artistic glass? I guess our psyches sometimes sense uncompromising qualities within certain artworks, and then feel they need to incorporate those qualities within themselves. But then, whether such incorporation succeeds or fails, the mind, body and soul are often left in search of certainties.

And the particular constant (as I believe it to be) which I usually seize upon then is the fact that all I really know without question is that many people have labored for many years within my city. And yet, though they’ve been productive members of society, many of them have furthered rumors here which in reality have been found out to be either half-truths or outright lies. And, all their work and gossip spreading has been done in a city known for strange and unbelievable occurrences.

And many is the time I’ve recalled how, inside this city, an unforgiving populace has tried to stymie artistic efforts. And when I think back to those occasions, that’s when I realize how small we as creators of, reflectors upon, and witnesses for art all really are! We advocate for right living, but entrenched biases, which usually attack us from the left, always seek to thwart our goodness.

Yet, I’ve also noticed that despite the vast possibilities of miscellaneous thoughts, one’s mind so often focuses upon all that’s actually never been proven or disproven. Therefore, I’ll not fail to speak of a secondary class of momentary considerations. And they consist of the undesirable occurrences of future chaos and trauma which will be caused by the seemingly casual attitude many Americans have adopted in regard to illegal and non-supervised immigration into their nation. What will the future effects be of allowing great numbers of penniless individuals into the United States?  Well, in answering that question one must begin by realizing that these people are in poverty today, and in poverty they’ll remain, no matter be it in the U.S. or elsewhere. The only difference is that in America they’ll greatly contribute to the downfall of the Earth’s last real hope against tyranny and human rights violations.

And I can remember that as a child I was often cautioned about “excrement (my word not theirs) peddlers”. My dad, for one, liked to remind whomever he could that a lot of people could hang degrees on their walls, and especially if their educations were paid for by the government, but few could really effect any worthwhile developments in a wicked world. And rest assured, the admonishments given me by him and others back in those years didn’t fall on deaf ears. And I suppose that’s why I so often find myself pondering the drastic future effects of what’s going on in my nation today. But then, of course we can’t expend all our God given time thinking about the past and future; the present needs to be lived.

And so it was that the other day when my phone rang, and our city’s mayor George Jennifer told me he wished me to contribute to this forum at this time, I told him I’d like to “construct” a composition around my recent encounter with The Green Flower Pot, and perhaps entitle it “Presumptions”. And the mayor answered by saying “John, I know you well enough to expect that your initial reaction to almost anything is immediate concern and fear. And while I’ll expect those apprehensions to appear in your written piece, could you also find a working class person to write a Part Two of “Presumptions”?

“I’ll do that,” I said.

But now, from my own personal experiences, I’d like to relate some random disclosures. And I’m sure that by now anyone reading this knows that F. John Surells is very private in his investigations. Nonetheless, he’s been told by various phone callers that he owes various amounts of money to various people for various reasons. And there are various examples of what I’ve just written, but here are my favorites.

Sergeant Wright told me he was organizing a fundraiser for some elementary school kids, and  needed a contribution. And Sara said some of my finances were in disarray. And Rick wanted to aid me with Medicare. But I tried to talk to Rick one day, even though he’s a recording. And I told him I’m not really old, and that my body ages in a fashion similar to a manual transmission that’s always in first gear. And I added that although I may move slowly, I know some people who are constantly driven; actually I said “One might say they’re in constant drive.”

But then, on another day, a friend from Manhattan called to tell me he thought America had a new greatest writer now. “Who is it?” I asked.

“His or her name can’t be divulged now” he answered. “Some say he or she is too controversial, and besides, a lot of people here in Manhattan don’t like him or her.”

And I felt then that probably I shouldn’t pursue that matter any further, and instead told my caller friend that recently, in a dream, I’d met a man of prominence. And he’d written the solutions to all of mankind’s problems on a board with chalk. But then a coalition of political and non-political questioners, blamers, gossipers, and liars had confronted him, and had erased the truth he’d transcribed. And then that coalition had told that man that their goal was to brainwash the youth of America. “And when those youngsters grow to adulthood, they’ll then spread our vileness as if it were truth” they’d said.

But my friend responded to this dream disclosure by saying, “You know, I think you’d better be careful. Over here in New York we’ve actually heard about your haughtiness and refusal to live as the ‘status-quo’ instructs. Maybe the time has come for you to change your ways, or your ‘styles’ at least. And remember, most of the really important literary types are liberals.”

[brittanyyoungblog]

Would You Feel Jealous if Your Partner Got a Sex Robot?

I get asked about the future of sex a lot, and one of the topics that often comes up is how robots are going to change our intimate lives and relationships. Admittedly, there’s not a lot of research out there on this subject yet because sex robots are still in their infancy, so it’s hard to make concrete predictions. However, there has been some work looking at people’s attitudes toward sex robots and the results suggest that many people aren’t enthusiastic about the idea of sex robots—and, in particular, the idea of their partner using one. 

In a recent study, researchers surveyed 277 adults (average age of 27; 90% of whom were heterosexual) about their attitudes toward futuristic sex robots. They used an experimental design in which half of the participants were asked about a “sex robot” that “looks and feels just like humans,” whereas the others were asked about “a platonic love robot” with no physical body that is capable of providing “meaningful romantic and friendly relation to a human.” 

They were then asked how they felt about the idea of their partner owning such a robot, as well as how they think their partner would feel if the shoe were on the other foot (i.e., would your partner be cool with you owning one of these robots?)

In general, participants thought the idea of both robots sounded realistic; however, while there was quite a bit of variability in people’s feelings, attitudes toward both robots were negative overall.

Overall, men reported more positive attitudes toward robots than did women, but this was mainly true for the sex robot. When looking at the platonic love robot, men’s and women’s attitudes were fairly similar.

Regardless of robot type, men expected to feel less jealous if their partner got one compared to women. Also women reported higher feelings of jealousy about a sex robot compared to a love robot, which is contrary to what the researchers had expected to find (some past jealousy research has found that women report more emotional than sexual jealousy, which was the basis for their prediction).

When thinking about their partner owning a robot, men reported similar levels of dislike for both the sex and love robot; by contrast, women reported more dislike for their partner using a sex robot than a love robot.  

Lastly, when thinking about how your partner would respond if you owned a sex robot, men expected similar levels of dislike from their partner for both types of robots, whereas women anticipated more partner dislike if they used a sex robot than a love robot.  

Of course, these findings are limited because they’re based on how people feel about hypothetical sex/love robots. Most people just don’t have any personal experience with this technology yet. Also, people may have ideas of how they’d feel about robots that are shaped by popular media depictions, where it’s much more common to see female rather than male sex robots and where using these robots often ends in disaster (ever see Ex Machina or Westworld?) 

That said, these results point to important differences in how people feel about robots based on robot type (sex vs. love) and an individual’s gender. They also suggest that robots may eventually become a potential source of conflict in relationships to the extent that partners have different feelings about them. And perhaps this conflict will be more pronounced in mixed-sex (male/female) relationships due to differences in men’s and women’s attitudes, but less so in same-sex relationships (where partners’ attitudes may be more in line with each other). 

An interesting line of inquiry for future research would be to ask how people feel about using sex/love robots with a partner, as opposed to only one partner using them. When robots are framed as a substitute or replacement for a real-life partner, that may evoke more negative attitudes and jealousy. But what about when robots become a complement to a couple’s sex life, offering a new way for partners to interact together? For example, are people in relationships more open to the idea of robot threesomes rather than solo robot use?  

Also, what if sex/love robots were framed as a way of fixing a sexual or relationship problem? For example, if two partners want drastically different amounts of sex, could a sex robot be a viable solution to this problem and potentially reduce conflict and prevent infidelity? Or what about using sex/love robots in long-distance relationships where partners see each other very infrequently as a way of providing more sexual and intimate connection?   

So what do you think? How would you feel about the idea of using a sex vs. love robot yourself? And how would you feel if your partner used one?

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

To learn more about this research, see: Nordmo, M., Næss, J. Ø., Husøy, M. F., & Arnestad, M. N. (2020). Friends, lovers or nothing: Men and women differ in their perceptions of sex robots and platonic love robots. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 355.

Image Source: 123RF

You Might Also Like: 

How Many People Want To Have Sex With A Robot?

Sex and Psychology Podcast: The Future of Sex and Relationships

from Meet Positives SMFeed 8 https://ift.tt/3yxAM1r via IFTTT

[ellenlucasonlinedatingblog]

Would You Feel Jealous if Your Partner Got a Sex Robot?

I get asked about the future of sex a lot, and one of the topics that often comes up is how robots are going to change our intimate lives and relationships. Admittedly, there’s not a lot of research out there on this subject yet because sex robots are still in their infancy, so it’s hard to make concrete predictions. However, there has been some work looking at people’s attitudes toward sex robots and the results suggest that many people aren’t enthusiastic about the idea of sex robots—and, in particular, the idea of their partner using one. 

In a recent study, researchers surveyed 277 adults (average age of 27; 90% of whom were heterosexual) about their attitudes toward futuristic sex robots. They used an experimental design in which half of the participants were asked about a “sex robot” that “looks and feels just like humans,” whereas the others were asked about “a platonic love robot” with no physical body that is capable of providing “meaningful romantic and friendly relation to a human.” 

They were then asked how they felt about the idea of their partner owning such a robot, as well as how they think their partner would feel if the shoe were on the other foot (i.e., would your partner be cool with you owning one of these robots?)

In general, participants thought the idea of both robots sounded realistic; however, while there was quite a bit of variability in people’s feelings, attitudes toward both robots were negative overall.

Overall, men reported more positive attitudes toward robots than did women, but this was mainly true for the sex robot. When looking at the platonic love robot, men’s and women’s attitudes were fairly similar.

Regardless of robot type, men expected to feel less jealous if their partner got one compared to women. Also women reported higher feelings of jealousy about a sex robot compared to a love robot, which is contrary to what the researchers had expected to find (some past jealousy research has found that women report more emotional than sexual jealousy, which was the basis for their prediction).

When thinking about their partner owning a robot, men reported similar levels of dislike for both the sex and love robot; by contrast, women reported more dislike for their partner using a sex robot than a love robot.  

Lastly, when thinking about how your partner would respond if you owned a sex robot, men expected similar levels of dislike from their partner for both types of robots, whereas women anticipated more partner dislike if they used a sex robot than a love robot.  

Of course, these findings are limited because they’re based on how people feel about hypothetical sex/love robots. Most people just don’t have any personal experience with this technology yet. Also, people may have ideas of how they’d feel about robots that are shaped by popular media depictions, where it’s much more common to see female rather than male sex robots and where using these robots often ends in disaster (ever see Ex Machina or Westworld?) 

That said, these results point to important differences in how people feel about robots based on robot type (sex vs. love) and an individual’s gender. They also suggest that robots may eventually become a potential source of conflict in relationships to the extent that partners have different feelings about them. And perhaps this conflict will be more pronounced in mixed-sex (male/female) relationships due to differences in men’s and women’s attitudes, but less so in same-sex relationships (where partners’ attitudes may be more in line with each other). 

An interesting line of inquiry for future research would be to ask how people feel about using sex/love robots with a partner, as opposed to only one partner using them. When robots are framed as a substitute or replacement for a real-life partner, that may evoke more negative attitudes and jealousy. But what about when robots become a complement to a couple’s sex life, offering a new way for partners to interact together? For example, are people in relationships more open to the idea of robot threesomes rather than solo robot use?  

Also, what if sex/love robots were framed as a way of fixing a sexual or relationship problem? For example, if two partners want drastically different amounts of sex, could a sex robot be a viable solution to this problem and potentially reduce conflict and prevent infidelity? Or what about using sex/love robots in long-distance relationships where partners see each other very infrequently as a way of providing more sexual and intimate connection?   

So what do you think? How would you feel about the idea of using a sex vs. love robot yourself? And how would you feel if your partner used one?

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

To learn more about this research, see: Nordmo, M., Næss, J. Ø., Husøy, M. F., & Arnestad, M. N. (2020). Friends, lovers or nothing: Men and women differ in their perceptions of sex robots and platonic love robots. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 355.

Image Source: 123RF

You Might Also Like: 

How Many People Want To Have Sex With A Robot?

Sex and Psychology Podcast: The Future of Sex and Relationships

from MeetPositives SM Feed 4 https://ift.tt/3yxAM1r via IFTTT

[amaranthkick]

Fusion Confusion, Part 5

(Part 1), (AO3)

It was still in the middle of the night when Lance woke up. He quietly stared at the ceiling waiting for his eyes to adjust to the faint glow that illuminated his room.

He felt a light breeze fluttering to and fro at a slow steady pace. Lance smiled and hummed softly. Shiro was still fast asleep.

He peeled off his face mask and took off the headphones carefully as to not wake Shiro up. With footsteps light as a feather Lance headed down the hall to the training deck, his bayard in hand. Maybe he could get some private practice in while Shiro was asleep.

He'd been secretly practicing with his bayard trying to perfect his skills with it and find a way for him to contribute wholly to the team. Coran had found him once and while Lance had sworn him to secrecy much to the advisors confusion he offered to help the boy any way that he could. Lance sighed, he understood that Coran wanted to help him show off his skill yesterday in a way that would shine spectacularly but it was still pulled up unexpectedly.

Once he was in the training deck he went to the farthest corner pulling up a holo-display to quietly set up the training sim. Training with his sniper rifle should be ok. It was considerably less noisy. He hasn't shown anyone he could do this yet as he was still adjusting to using the sightscope.

Lance knelt down on one knee with his hand placed on the ground in front of him to keep his balance as some parts of the floor rose into platforms of varying heights. A few gladiators and round floating drones were generated and were making rounds in the new landscape.

Looking through the sightscope made it easier to see his targets. Lance sniped down targets that were alone first as to not garner any attention from the rest. He quickly sniped all the drones but the gladiators adapted and hid behind the platforms. But with his keen eye Lance was able to find them as they peeked out the corners.

Once all the targets were gunned down Lance leaned back to appreciate this form of the blue bayard. His sniper rifle was more stronger than his normal ray gun. It could penetrate the their armor easily. Even if it wouldn't be suitable for close combat this new form will definitely come in handy for long-range or stealth missions.

“Lance, you can form a sniper rifle with your bayard!?” Shiro sudden and impressed voice took Lance by deep surprise causing him to shriek.

“S--Shiro?! You’re awake! How long have you been awake?!” He stammered.

Shiro responded sheepishly, “ahh, I woke up just in time to see you shoot a gladiator as it tried to hid behind a platform.”

Hmm… That was one of the last few targets he took down so he wasn't awake for that long. “Sorry for waking you up, Shiro.”

“End training sequence.” He stood up as the training deck started to return to normal.

“Lance, it's amazing that your bayard has access to different forms. How come you haven't shown it to the rest of us? And have you always been secretly training here?” Shiro was proud of Lance for unlocking a new power from his bayard but genuinely curious as to why Lance has been hiding it. He thought the younger would love to show it off as soon as he unlocked it.

Lance was walking towards the exit of the training deck but stopped in his tracks at Shiro’s questions. “Thanks Shiro, but uh, could you not tell anyone about the sniper rifle? I've been practicing hard to master it and I don't think I'm there yet.” Lance stared silently at his bayard, his grip on it slightly tightening. This was war, if he wasn't perfect, one mistake could cost everything.

Shiro could feel it, the ice coming from Lance that represented his insecurities. At first he thought it was just ice occasionally floating in the ocean that probably meant Lance wanted to seem amazingly competent with his new sniper skills. But now he was getting better at reading his emotions. Lance’s insecurities were like an iceberg where most of it was hidden just below the surface. There was something more to this but he wouldn't push him.

Hmm. Maybe if he sent supporting vibes to Lance like he had done for him, it might gently coax him to open up.

Lance sighed heavily feeling a gentle tailwind encouraging him to go forward. He knew what Shiro wanted. Well… Shiro did tell him that he was here if he needed to talk especially if he was getting insecure. “I-- I'm no prodigy like Keith or a mechanic like Hunk or a tech genius like Pidge. Sometimes I feel like I'm not contributing enough for the team. ...Sometimes it feels like I have work so much harder to keep up with you guys.”

Judging from the stuttering of the wind, Shiro was taken aback though he quickly composed himself. “Lance, you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else. You are important to this team. You contribute in your own way just as much as anyone on this team. It's good to see you working hard to improve yourself. But don't push yourself too hard thinking this is the only way to contribute to the team. You're capable of so much more than you know. You are enough, more than enough.”

“Shiro..!” Lance whispered in reverence.

“And whenever you decide to show off your nice sniper rifle, I know everyone is going to be deeply impressed.”

What he got in return was splashes of playfulness and gratitude. Lance smiled. “Thanks Shiro. Yeah… I'm gonna knock the socks off everyone with my sudden mastery over this! Kinda like that general who cleverly made it seem like he built a castle overnight and wiped the moral of his enemies into the dirt.” Shiro chuckled as he felt the ocean sparkle as Lance beamed.

---

Lance told Shiro that he had to check on some things real quick then he would hit the sack. From the looks of it, it seemed to Shiro that they were heading to the kitchens. Did Lance want a midnight snack?

“Hmmm. Ok. Hunk’s not here. Good, that's good. Hunk’s probably sleeping. Sometimes he'd stay up late and stress bake cause a 10,000 year war takes its toll and all. He could use a someone to talk to when he gets like that.” Lance turned on his heel exiting the way he came but took a left turn to a new hallway. “Keith sometimes is in the training deck but he wasn't there tonight so he's most likely sleeping.”

“So Pidge next?” Shiro recognized this route, it lead to the Green Lion’s hanger.

Lance nodded. “Yup, sometimes she gets to invested in her work and forgets to sleep or eat. But also sometimes she needs to sort out her thoughts so I play the role of rubber duck. That's something people would talk to out loud, I think it helps organize their thoughts or highlight things they'd normally miss.”

Shiro smiled warmly, Lance really was sweet and caring even though he tries really hard to keep up a “suave, cool” reputation.

They found Pidge sitting at a table hunched over her laptop. There were some wires connected to a scanner that held a small piece of an amber crystal.

Lance jogged up to her and ruffled her hair. “Hey Pidge-Podge. Do you know what Allura and Coran are up to?”

Pidge didn’t look up from her laptop while she explained that Allura was looking up any information on how Mutari might have changed these past 10,000 years, while Coran was experimenting other ways that might end a fusion in less drastic ways. The last time she heard from him, he said he going to test siphoning the energy from the crystal till something happened.

“Alright,” Lance nodded to himself although he didn't know how siphoning energy did not count as drastic, “so what are you up to?”

Pidge pointed to the crystal suspended in the glass casing of the the scanner. “I’m analyzing the unique energy signature of these crystals. It's similar to the Balmera crystal but obviously has very different properties.”

“Obviously.”

“They seem to produce more energy after fusion. Coran wants to call it synch energy since it’s one of the terms he heard back then. He thinks it's what keeps the two original bodies together. Oh hey! Do you have your crystal with you? I could scan it to see if anything is different than when two non-animated things are fused.” They nodded to each other and Pidge emptied out the case. She left it open for Lance to place the shard in there.

“Shiro, you seeing this? We're winning!” He giggled as he pointed at the graph on the screen specifically at the new readings that were significantly higher compared to the previous graph.

Shiro snorted amused at his silliness. “It’s not a competition, Lance.”

“Hmm..”

“Is that a bad hmm or a good hmm?”

“Well, according to this, your crystal has a lot of synch energy and it's quite stable too. I guess it means it can hold the fusion for a long time.”

Lance's face fell. “Oh… a bad hmm.”

“But why? It’s smaller than Pidge’s current sample.” Shiro asked and Lance relayed to Pidge.

“I think being two people is a big factor. By the way, tell me the exact details leading up to the fusion. Maybe we can get a better understanding for the conditions for a fusion between two err… “willing” participants.”

Lance tapped his chin with a finger humming as he thought back to that moment. “Large chunks started to fall down from the ceiling, there was no more time. There was another tunnel behind Shiro so I pushed us inside. It wasn't level so we tumbled down and I tried to cover Shiro as much as I could to protect him.”

“Actually, I was trying to do the same for you Lance.” He was a little surprised by Lance's account of the moment but not too surprised, he did have a protective streak going seeing as he shielded Coran from an explosion with his body.

“Really!?” Lance happily grinned to himself. He caught Pidge’s questioning look and explained that Shiro had done the same for him.

Pidge opened the glass case for Lance to take back their crystal. “Huh, maybe you two were fused because you both were trying to do the same thing: protect each other.”

“If it's like that then ‘synch energy’... ‘synergy’? makes a lot of sense. But then why haven't we unfused yet? We're no longer in danger.”

Lance looked on as Pidge began typing notes on her laptop. “It could be a teamwork kind of thing like if the two people involved work well together then the fusion is healthy, stable, and strong. Which is somewhat unfortunate for us if we want to end the fusion. We're teammates so we gotta work well together and coordinating teamwork is something you're good at Lance.”

“I am?”

Pidge nodded. “You're pretty good at keeping us on the same page when we're executing a plan.” Shiro had to agree as well.

“O--oh…” Lance's voice shook a little. Did this mean he was the reason they were having trouble unfusing?

“No Lance. Of course not.” Lance jerked in surprise at Shiro’s voice speaking up all of a sudden. Lance inhaled sharply, was Shiro able to read his mind?

Shiro chuckled, “no, but I think I'm getting better at reading your emotions to guess where your train of thought is headed. Just remember Lance, it's not your fault, we’ll figure something out.”

Lance smiled at that. “...yeah. Thanks Shiro.” Then he yawned loudly reminding him it was still late into the night. “Alright Pidge, I'm going back to bed, you should do the same too.”

Pidge and Lance had an intense staring contest, a battle of wills so to speak. Shiro wondered what kind of unspoken conversation they were having with only their eyes. When Pidge let out a defeated sigh, he could tell she lost. She grumbled as she saved her files on her laptop, “fine, I'll just update Coran on our recent theories then go catch up on a few hours of sleep.” Good, a few hours were certainly better than none.

Lance grinned warmly at her and ruffled her hair one last time before heading back to bed.

He snuggled deeper into the soft bedding and pillow. Lance silently reached out to Shiro trying to let him know how he appreciates all his support. The soothing breeze he felt in return let him know Shiro understood. Lance smiled, sleep starting to drag him down and muttered, “‘Night, Shiro.”

“Goodnight, Lance.”

---

In the morning Shiro stretched out like a cat, another night of restful sleep. He checked his surroundings and yup, still fused. In the back of his mind he could feel the ocean waves lazily rolling on and off the shore in time to the even breathing he can faintly hear. Lance must still be asleep.

Shiro got up to get ready for the day. He met up with Hunk and Keith in the dining area. They haven't seen Pidge yet so he told them of their findings so they weren't out of the loop.

That was when Lance began to wake up. He seemed alarmed that he wasn't in control of their body today. “Hey! I thought it’s my turn today?”

Shiro rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Sorry, Lance.” There wasn't anything he could do really, he just woke up in control of their body.

Lance huffed a little put out. “I'm thinking control over this body is less 50/50 and more ‘first come, first served’ for whoever wakes up first.” He shrugged and supposed he would just go with the flow.

Coran and Pidge walked into the room discussing something. Coran approached the table nodding to Shiro and stated that he might have found a way to separate them if they're willing to try. He led them to the room where he was experimenting, all the while explaining what he's been doing.

He drained synergy from a crystal and converted it to a different kind of energy that the castle can store as a backup power source. Once a crystal was almost completely drained. The items he fused unfused and with no exploding or imploding of any kind! Coran wanted to present this option to them so they know it was available. If it didn't work out then they were still heading to Mutari to gather information. However Pidge reminded them that it has been 10,000 years, who knows if the ruins survived the hands of time not to mention other factors. But ultimately it was Shiro and Lance's decision to make.

Shiro muttered quietly to Lance, “What do you think Lance?”

“Well, so far all his samples weren't ripped to pieces. That's good, right? If you're up to it then count me in. Nothing ventured nothing gained, right? But seriously, if something feels funny speak up, ok Shiro?”

“Of course and you have to promise to do the same.”

“Yeah. Promise.” At that Shiro nodded resolutely to Coran.

Shiro stood near a wall where Coran conveniently set up a large mirror. It was probably to get them hopeful for the best outcome. Yards away was a machine that looked similar to Pidge’s scanner but it was hooked up to large, empty, cylindrical tubes. When he had placed their crystal into the glass case Coran explained that the tubes would store the converted energy.

Keith, Hunk, and Pidge were nearby, ready to step in if necessary at a moment's notice. Coran stood at the console of the machine hand held up over the holo-screen. “Please do not hesitate if you feel something is amiss. I'll be here to stop the process immediately at your word.”

Shiro nodded in affirmation. “We will, Coran.”

The machine hummed to life as soon as Coran hit a button. Nearly half a varga passed and still nothing happened but it was expected. Pidge did say their crystal had more synergy present. Shiro took in a deep breath to calm his nerves, the waiting was getting to him.

Coran and the others frequently checked in with them to make sure they were doing alright.

Nearly two vargas in and everyone flinched as the crystal started to brighten and flash almost akin to a lightbulb fritzing. Coran quickly piped up, “Ah, this happens just before the samples would unfuse.”

Everyone shielded their eyes as the crystal unleashed one last blinding flash of light. There was a shift. Shiro and Lance could feel it. Ocean and sky started to separate leaving an empty space where the other used to be.

Lance opened his eyes and looked at the image in the mirror. He focused on the fact that there were two familiar bodies instead of one. Yes! They were unfused! Lance whooped and laughed with joy as he pumped his fist in the air. “Whoo-hoo! We're unfused!”

A tense silence greeted him.

...Why was no one else celebrating with him? He turned slightly fist still in the air. Everyone was staring at him in shock like they couldn't believe what they were seeing.

“What?” Lance let his fist fall to the side standing straighter and a bit more self-conscious.

He looked around seeing the dumbfounded looks on Pidge, Hunk, Keith, Coran,… and h--himself!?

“Wha--!” Lance took a step back from where his own body was staring at him.

The other put his hands up in a peaceful gesture to show he was of no harm and asked, “Lance?”

“Shiro?”

Lance turned to look more closely at the mirror again. The Shiro in the reflection stared back at him wide-eyed with shock. Their mouths moving at the same time. “What the cheese?!”

(Part 6)

[nakklepiggy]

BOTW Zora Life Cycle

i put too much thought into this. this is largely headcanon, with information from BOTW and an idea or two from Majora’s Mask!

alright, onward through the 9 stages of the Zora life cycle:

note: the ages I’ve given for each stage are more of an estimate than a “this always happens at this age” thing except for stage 1 to 3! because everybody goes through puberty and matures at a different rate. think of the ages I’ve assigned as being averages, haha.

Stage 1 - Egg (0 days - 1 month) Every Zora’s life begins as an egg; a parent Zora will lay a clutch of two to four soft, jelly-like eggs in a spawning pool and tend to them as they develop. The eggs start off clear but eventually turn opaque as the babies develop, but since the eggs are so delicate it’s very likely that most of a clutch will not actually hatch, even with the best care possible. After one month the surviving eggs, usually one or two, will finally hatch!

Stage 2 - Hatchling/Alevin/”Infant” (1 month - 1 1/2 years) A newborn Zora is called an alevin, though they are colloquially known as hatchlings, levvies (singular: levvy), guppies, or pollywogs. Hatchling Zora somewhat resemble tadpoles, as they did in Majora’s Mask, with a proportionally large rounded head, a less-defined abdomen segment with the signature triple gill-slits on each side, two small head-fins and a long tail which they use to swim. They can breathe both air and water, but have an easier time breathing water at first. Hatchlings also have yolk sacs which they feed off of for their first 3-4 weeks after hatching; this is thought to be a vestigial trait, but it is still a developmental benefit as the yolk contains antibodies from the parent, helping the newborn develop their immune system. By the second month the hatchlings’ yolk sacs are totally depleted, thus they will require regular feeding starting around this time. From this point onward they simply grow larger for about a year and a half, staying in a limbless tadpole-like form but eventually growing to be 1 1/2-2 feet long and undergoing marked proportional changes. Specifically, the head and abdominal segment become larger and more well-defined, also gaining body fat; meanwhile the tail does not grow as quickly, eventually leading to a rounded, chubby, somewhat ball-like shape. This is often called the “ball phase” or colloquially “second egg,” due to the similarity in shape. The onset of this proportional change is a sign that the hatchling is getting ready to undergo metamorphosis.

Stage 3 - Metamorphosis Metamorphosis can be thought of as a young Zora’s first growth spurt, and it is by far the most dramatic change. Taking place over the course of 24 to 48 hours, metamorphosis involves a hatchling in ball phase undergoing a drastic transformation. Prior to metamorphosis hatchlings will gorge themselves and gain body fat in preparation for the massive energy requirement of the process, and Zora parents are encouraged to feed their children more often in the weeks leading up to the event. The changes, roughly in order of occurrence, are: -the tail separates from the lower body, freeing the abdomen and officially becoming the ‘head-tail’ -pigmentation develops on the back and sides of the abdomen -small fins form along the ‘shoulders,’ lower back, and ‘hips’ -as the baby Zora uses energy from its body fat, the reduction of fat around the head reveals the shape of the jaw and neck -similarly, the head-tail shortens and becomes smaller as body fat is repurposed for energy -the arms and legs emerge - these structures began forming gradually during the “ball phase” but were partially fused within the abdominal segment at that time; the young Zora undergoes a partial ‘shedding’ on their belly that removes an outer layer of flexible skin that held the limbs in place as they developed, and then their limbs gradually unfuse - generally the legs unfuse first and then the arms follow -finally, the forearm fins unfuse from the arm mass and unfurl A hatchling is officially considered a toddler when the legs and arms have emerged completely. Most toddlers are 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall from head to foot, but will weigh a little less than their pre-metamorphosis weight due to the consumption of so much body fat.

Stage 4 - Child/”Toddler” (1 1/2 - 40 years) After undergoing metamorphosis the Zora child's growth refocuses towards mental/psychological development than body development. Mental development from 2 years old to 40 years old in a Zora is equivalent to that in Hylians from age 2 to 12. Essentially, Hylian children grow about 3 times faster - and they also grow their bodies, not just their minds! Meanwhile the young Zora will undergo very little change in their body aside from increased hand-eye coordination, dexterity, and the improvement of other senses. They learn how to walk and swim early on in this period and are highly active, though they have low stamina; they’ve got just enough for a short burst of speed or effort, but not enough for extended bouts of running or swimming. Zora children generally start primary school at the age of 20. An in-game example of a Zora in this age range is Laruta, the little girl who hangs out at Mipha’s statue! I’d peg her to be in her early 20s in terms of Zora aging, which puts her mental age/equivalent Hylian age at about 7 years old. just a lil baby. <3 The brothers Tumbo and Keye are also in this stage but they are a little older than Laruta, so they’re probably in their early 30s - equivalent to Hylian 9 year olds.

Stage 5 - Preadolescent/“Preteen” (40 - 45 years) Hylians may have trouble telling child, preadolescent, and adolescent Zoras apart because they all have the same body shape and size; in Zora culture, these differences are denoted more by a child’s mental maturity, their behavior, and their pheromone markers. A preadolescent Zora is akin to an 11 or 12-year-old Hylian in terms of mental maturity and likely has more stamina than a child, but has not yet begun producing adolescent pheromone markers. The “preteen” phase is actually rather short, more of a transitional period between prepubescence and puberty. As such, preteen Zora often have voracious appetites; this is because they need to build up body fat again, since they’re preparing to go into puberty.

Stage 6 - Adolescent/“Teenager” (45 - 60 years) Zora puberty begins around age 45 and is made up of two parts: physical maturity and mental maturity; a Zora is not considered an adult until they have completed both parts, however. Physical and mental maturity start at the same time with changes occurring in a young Zora’s brain chemistry and hormones. The biggest indicator that puberty has begun is the change in a young Zora’s pheromones, and the change in their behavior. Their brains grow more, which results in many of the same emotional and mental woes that Hylian and other peoples’ teenagers experience, and with that they develop their mental maturity further as well. Meanwhile, their physical maturation goes slower; though the body is producing adolescent pheromone markers and hormones, most of the energy is spent on their growing brains rather than the rest of their body. As such this often leads to “teenage” Zora having an awkward “short phase” where they still look fairly young. To the relief of many, they generally get their second growth spurt after about 10 years of mental development. The growth spurt lasts anywhere from 3 to 7 years, though it can take up to 10 years; and it’s this spurt that brings them to full maturity, ability to make babies and all. An in-game example of adolescent Zoras would be Finley, Tula, and Tona (I’m assuming that Tula and Tona are teenagers from the way they act, and the fact that they don’t seem to be actively working). As stated in the game Finley is hasn’t had her growth spurt yet, while Tula and Tona have. Finley is about 54 years old, equivalent to a Hylian 16 year old; while Tula and Tona are around 57-59 years old, equivalent to Hylian 17-18 year olds.

Stage 7 - Young Adult (60 - 85 years) This stage is pretty self-explanatory: now that the Zora has completed both mental and physical maturation, they’ve completed puberty and are now officially an adult, if a young one! At this point they’re ready to take on an apprenticeship, military training, further education, or anything else they’d like to try their hand at. Also, they’re legally allowed to get married and purchase alcohol at the age of 65 (which may be a bummer to any early bloomer Zora who finish puberty at 60 or 61). 60 to 80 year old Zoras are about equivalent to Hylian 18 to 22 year olds at this age. An in-game example of a young adult Zora would be Mipha, before the Great Calamity! She was a bit small for her age, but other than her height she was fully mature by the time she began training with Vah Ruta. I’m going to be totally arbitrary here and say that she was 70 years old when the Calamity struck... my understanding is that Link was 20 years old when the Calamity happened, so they were born 50 years apart but were still in about the ‘same’ stage of their lives! Another example would be Dunma, Rivan’s daughter who guards the entrance to Zora’s Domain with him. She’s probably around 62 at the time that Link first meets her in-game; I have a feeling she was an early bloomer :B

Stage 8a - Common Adult (100+) Another self-explanatory stage is the adult stage for the common Zora; this means any Zora who’s not of Royal blood. This is basically when you’ve gotten out of your early twenties and your body’s mostly stopped growing and you start to realize oh man, I’m actually an adult now. So like, a 100 year old Zora is about equivalent to a 24 year old Hylian or human. Adult Zora are generally more serious than young adults, and they start to hold themselves to those higher standards of speech and etiquette that the Zora are so well-known for. This is also generally when a Zora will settle down to have a family, though some get married and have children earlier. Examples of adult common Zora would be Bazz, Rivan, Gaddison, Laflat, Kodah, etcetera... basically all of the Zora in the Domain who aren’t children, teenagers, oldies, or Royals. To throw out a few ideas I’d say that Bazz, Rivan, and Gaddison are all probably around 145 to 160 years old, having been children/early teenagers when they knew Link. (Rivan’s the baby of the group at 137 years old.)

Stage 8b - Royal Adult (100+) The adult stage for Royal Zoras is slightly different than that for common Zoras, because Royal Zoras undergo additional growth spurts after they hit the age of 100. An evolutionary quirk that was seen as an indicator of greater strength and fertility in ancient times, the Royal Zora’s first additional growth spurt makes them first grow taller than their compatriots, then broader. They end up looking awkwardly skinny with hands and feet too big for their bodies for a while, but they’ll fill out quickly whether with muscle or fat as long as they have access to adequate food (which, being royalty, they usually do). After that growth spurt a Royal Zora will grow more gradually over time until they’re anywhere from 16 to 25 feet tall! The final height of a Royal Zora depends on the individual, of course. The obvious example for a post-growth spurt Royal Zora is Prince Sidon! He is more than 100 years old, as stated in game, and as such is around 10 feet tall - he was closer to 8 feet before his growth spurt. I would peg him at being about 115 years old, which is about equivalent to a 25 or 26-year-old Hylian. It’s not an exact conversion but whatever, he’s a fictional shark man. Speaking of which - Sidon was 15 years old when the Calamity struck, still just a little one, and Mipha was 55 years older than him; if she had survived she would be 170 years old and Super Tall. ...but still maybe shorter than Sidon. hehehe.

Stage 9 - Senior Adult/Old Age (250+) Once a Zora hits 250 years they are officially considered “elderly;” 250 for Zoras is about equivalent to 65 for Hylians/humans, along with the expectation of retirement. The average Zora lifespan is 310 years, but there have been recorded instances of Zoras reaching a natural lifespan of up to 375 years old. It is possible that a Zora’s lifespan could be medically or magically extended, but at that point you’re getting into the sort of “toying with life and death” that more environmentally/socially conscious or pious individuals would object to. King Dorephan is 255 years old, but he is expected to maintain the throne until he dies; on the other hand, Muzu is around 268 but will likely not retire until he feels he’s done all he can to look after the Royal Family. All of the other elderly Zora in the Domain are between 250 and 310 years old, I would say. Dento and Seggin are probably two of the oldest.

WHOOOOO THAT WAS A LOT OF WRITING my head hurts now

[soovaryit]

So it’s the second anniversary of my endo diagnosis (woooo), and I thought I’d share my experience of the diagnostic laparoscopy. Obviously, this is (usually) straightforward day surgery and nothing to be concerned about at all, but undoubtedly you have your reservations about what the experience and end result will be like. This will differ drastically for everyone, for some it will be a short and simple procedure and others there may be complications or the need for surgeons to make bigger incisions. I speak to a lot of people who think they may have endo but are worried about the lap and diagnostic process and my god I don’t blame you. But regardless of the struggle, I’m glad I pushed for a diagnosis and am (hopefully) on the path to healing. I know that people are worried about scarring, anaesthesia, pain and the recovery period and unfortunately, I can’t predict what it will be like but I can tell you it will be worth it in the end and that it is a (slightly scary) step forward.

In the scheme of things, I am a total endo amateur, having had only one lap and chosen to stick with the less drastic options of multiple hormonal contraceptives as I am lucky that it is not too severe. I can’t fathom the strength of those who have to go through multiple laps a year, as well as much more serious surgeries to reconstruct and remove organs that have been affected by endo. You are true warriors and I hope so much that you continue healing <3 I was initially very excited for my lap, although probably naïve to feel that way. I didn’t know much about the disease yet and assumed that they’d be able to remove it all, leaving me pain-free, with a Mirena coil to prevent further growth (as propositioned by my equally naïve GP). Obviously, it is rarely that simple. Getting to the point of the lap was emotionally draining, to say the least, but once I’d convinced multiple doctors that I could barely function because of the pain, I was booked in with 2 months wait. This is when I started to read stories like this, personal experiences of the operation and diagnosis process and it helped a lot. Some were reassuring, some worried me but ultimately I felt a sense of solidarity no matter what the outcome and still felt positive about the procedure. Unfortunately, my consultant, a gynaecologist with no special interest or education in endo was absolute shite*. In my two appointments before the procedure, he was fairly dismissive and not convinced that it would be endometriosis. This did not exactly fill me with confidence but changing doctors would be a long and arduous process and I decided this was the best thing at the time. The anaesthesia, which I was anxious about having not been put under since I was much younger, was absolutely fine. Anaesthesiologists are amazing at keeping you calm and I can barely recall being in the room at any point, let alone falling asleep. When I woke up I felt EXTREMELY emotional and ultimately pissed off. Everyone will have different reactions to anaesthesia and mine have always been volatile so it wasn’t really a surprise but basically everyone will be super nice to you.

The consultant came to see and his first words were ‘I have some bad news’.  I instantly burst into tears (OBVIOUSLY) and he started laughing, revealing that he had had to remove my belly button piercing before making the incision. This was not a funny joke and my parents called him out on it which I am eternally grateful for. He then went on to tell me that he was SURPRISED that I did, in fact, have endometriosis (I think I get angrier every time I think about how he handled this scenario). He told me that it had been active for around 6 years and he could see that the mega dose of hormones I was given in the months leading up to the op had healed the majority of it (he said a good thing! Yay!). He told me I still had one active patch that had grown on a blood vessel and could not be removed, ever. My heart sunk even though overall it had given me the validation that I wasn’t making up the 7 years of pain I experienced. Knowing that I had a patch that may not heal meant I would still be living with the pain and that was shitty to hear. He immediately told me his action plan which included ‘shutting down’ my ovaries for up to a year – inducing menopause. He did not give me any further information or a different choice. Ultimately, my choice treatment came from brilliant sources on the internet **and not a qualified doctor, which speaks volumes for how much knowledge many general gyanes actually have about diseases such as endo.

The next few days were very difficult emotionally and physically. I had the best possible support network around me but I felt extremely isolated couldn’t stop replaying the last 7 years of pain in my head and questioning why I never acted on getting a diagnosis sooner. I wondered how much pain I could have saved myself. I wondered if previous relationships would have worked out if I hadn’t been struggling with the burden of this disease and all the emotional shit that goes along with it. The pain, ironically, was similar to a super awful endo episode but stitches etc and the insertion of the coil made it more uncomfortable (I bought myself a latex skirt with the intention of wearing a week later to cheer me up – wrong decision. Ow.). There was also weird crampy shoulder pain that I read about due to the gas inserted into your abdomen during the surgery, that passed within a couple of days. The physical side was easy enough to bear. I had put up with varying levels of pain for 16 years which gives you a pretty high pain threshold. The emotional side of it was completely unexpected and really knocked me back. This is the part that they are seriously lacking in in medical situations. I was discharged that day with a follow-up appointment in a month’s time, the doctors words of ‘shutting my ovaries down’ ringing in my ears and I felt completely unsatisfied and terrified for the future. I knew I couldn’t live with that much pain anymore and so worried that it would never get better. When you have a lifelong condition like endo it is so hard to feel certainty and optimism about the future when you don’t know what your body might do next. It took over a year for the Mirena coil to have an impact on the pain which is pretty shitty and I’m not sure it ever would have worked for me alone despite doctors claiming its a ‘cure’. Luckily, I then found a wonderful doctor who prescribed me Cerelle, a progesterone only pill to boost my progesterone levels in an attempt to ease the pain. I also began therapy and a year’s course of Sertraline as my mood was (understandably) in the gutter.

It was at this point I started to unpick the negative and self-damaging thought processes I was having around the disease. I thought that it was my fault. I thought that I should have tried to get it diagnosed sooner. I felt like a burden to everyone. I felt like a lesser human because sometimes I couldn’t do ‘normal’ things like go to work or cook for myself or get out of bed. As I’m sure you’ve realised these are profoundly wrong, and if you feel yourself agreeing with those statements, it’s vital you seek some support and deconstruct the way you relate to your endo. To anyone facing the uncertainty of an diagnosis, my advice to you is to try and prepare emotionally. Refer yourself for counselling because anyone with a chronic condition NEEDS to talk about it, regularly, openly and without shame. It is essential for your mental health. If this isn’t an option for you, you can also speak to online counsellors or even get support from the wonderful people at Endometriosis UK (via helplines and support groups). Basically, it’s ok to admit that you’re scared, its ok to not feel positive and it’s understandable that those feelings are hard to come to terms with.

The actual diagnosis is hard to swallow but once it is on your medical records some things get easier. You have proof to show your employers, schools and universities, access to more/stronger pain meds and at least some explanation for the pain you’ve experienced. It’s beyond ridiculous that we live in a world where pain isn’t taking seriously until the point of diagnosis but that’s something that won’t change quickly and once your diagnosis has been confirmed you can look at the ways in which you can be supported. Two years on my pain has improved to the point where sometimes I can’t remember what a bad day feels like. That in itself is an incredible feat to me and somewhere I never thought I would be. Flare-ups are still hard and take it out of me but they are less frequent. I still talk about endo and my feelings about it as much as possible to cope with the bad days and to remind myself that that it’s still something I’ll have to deal with for life and constanly develop new coping mechanisms for. Remember that there is no shame in anything that you feel around your body or your condition and your emotions are powerful and completely valid.  

*UK people – for doctors who are not complete shite make sure you have a look at your nearest accredited endometriosis centre here

**Brilliant sources = mainly Endometriosis UK who are absolutely amazingly informative and supportive but also The Mighty  (catch one of my articles on the most read page oOoOoOoh)