#I think the switch could handle it.
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avirael · 2 months ago
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MiqoMarch 2025 Day 11 - Loss [WoL-Laqa AU]
"Nothing will ever be able to truly replace him, you know?", Laqa said with a faint, sad smile on his face.
"What was he like?"
"Vi?", Laqa asked surprised about this rare spike of curiousity in his companion. "He was my light. His smile shone brighter than the sun and stars and the moon combined. I think you would have liked him
"
"If you say so
", Rael only answered thoughtfully.
~~~
You know back when there was this cloudserver test period I created Laqa ingame for the first time and I also made this little AU version in my mind, where not A'vi but Laqa is the WoL and their fates are in a way reversed. Not the exact same story mirrored but the end result quite similar.
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anti-transphobia · 1 year ago
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Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked
#this post is not that serious or meant to be an Analysis or a Discourse Post or a Hot Take or whatever#i just think the dating thing needs to be handled differently#i should be able to Not Date characters and still get 10 hearts with them#also ive never made it far enough in stardew valley to marry someone and this is the first time i could even date someone#and ive heard that the flirtatious comments dont stop once you're married which is. really awkward for me#i mean i could probably handle the guys flirting with me while im married but id hope being married would be an off switch for it#its just awkward to have ppl im not actually dating and only gave a bouquet to so i can be their friend be called my bf/gf when. they're Not#i seriously need to find some kind of mod to fix this once i finish getting all the girls up to ten hearts#i will deal with the stomach churning grossness of the flirting for a while so i can see everything#but then I'm DONE!!! I'm DONE!!!! I just want my friends back!!!!#maru and abigail and haley !!! my buds!!!#NOT emily shes scary and NOT leah because we just didn't click and DEFINITELY not penny because i fucking hate her#penny sucks. penny dni#but yeah the flirting feels gross because im gay and repulsed by women romantically/sexually#and even though i did open myself up to this by playing the game. because i dont want it it feels like its being forced on me#which makes it feel even WORSE than normal#and its like. not only do i feel like I'm stringing along these characters#but i feel like my friendship with my favourites is ruined :(
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vammieposts · 8 months ago
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I am going fucking insane do they make drivers ed intentionally brain melting??
Everytime i hear this mans voice i feel like im watching honey crystalize or paint dry or cheese Very Slowly grow moldy
Like i know im overreacting but i cant focus on this?? I have to do 30 hours and its like every time i start watching one of the videos my brain turns off and i cant focus on what hes saying i hate online learning stuff so much
i dont care if i have to go to a classroom just make me learn this in literally any other way than listening to this man reading aloud multiple choice questions from a weirdly formatted slideshow for 30 minutes straight with the crunchiest audio known to man
#i know online learning is probably cheaper#but do you want me to be good at driving or not??#this is kinda important#IF I HEAR THIS GUY GO#And#the correct answer is#C#ONE MORE TIME#vammieposts#i sit in apush lectures for forty minutes everyday and im able to focus#clearly theres a wY to do this so its not so dull#JUST STOP WITH THE MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESITONS I BEF#like who decided this was a good idea?? multiple choice stuff is so repetitibe it all blends togther#and now i remember the wrong answers more often than the cofrect answers!’#drivers ed#i have 25 more hours of this i really dont think i can handle it#yes im overreacting but i cant do busywork i cant focus on dull things i really want to learn this and its not being taught well and that#upsets me a lot#its so so frustrating when theres an easy solution to bad systems and formats#and people dont see it??#it upsets me that so many things are being switched to online when that more often than not makes it MORE difficult??#my schools digital hallpass things??#unique apps to pay for parking in each coty??#digital doesnt automaticaly meant more efficient or convinient#its helpful in some areas#and much worse in others#this drivers ed is the worse end of the spectrum#because instead of being like oh heres the slideshow read it and take the test#it gives you a specific amount of hours you have to spend watching videos#i could just walk away and let the bideo play! like how does that prove that i know anything thats being tuaght??
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queenofbaws · 2 years ago
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gonna be real with you guys, i've been doing a lot of thinking lately and i just...........
we should've had the option to make sam totally snap in-game. just absolutely, totally snap.
i think it would've made all that stiff smiling in her police interview 1000000x better/worse, and god help me, the parallels to josh would've been delectable.
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likedaylighht · 4 months ago
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Talking about the birthday trip lore almost sounds made up like what do you mean that happened to me but also it’s been 2 years and it still makes my heart race when I think about what she did to me
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fandom-trash-xl · 1 year ago
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Just letting you guys know that Hit smiles for about a split frame in the new Sparking Zero trailer, I don't know when I'll recover.
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malwarechips · 1 year ago
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i hate apple soooo much
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whisperofthewaves · 1 year ago
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I am this close to signing the deal with the devil (getting a stationary PC for two years of monthly installments)
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raeathnos · 9 hours ago
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.
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assumedcryptid · 1 month ago
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minor rant under the cut just bc idk how long thisll be lol
i fkn haaaate how ass my stamina is in general man. especially when making art n shit. like, i REALLY WANNA make my own 2d vtuber model (like an actual model n not just concept doodles lol) and i know i can always do a png model! but id love to have a live2d model eventually, and id love for it to be my art style!!!
however literally just today i sketched out the model n Just That has me Beat. i think all the layers that has to go into a 2d model makes it sooo daunting and intimidating and so it seems like SO MUCH. idk i wish i had the stamina to just sit down n crank out a whole model in one night but i feel thisll be more of a 'tackle one body part/layer every art session' kinda thing...
WHICH!!!! I KNOW IS TOTALLY FINE!!! thats simply the way it goes with art!!! SO MANY people dont finish pieces in one sitting n i Get It but idk i have such a tendency to set projects aside for indeterminate amounts of time n then i lose the drive i had for the projects in the first place...
also i dont have the funds to go n get all these things commissioned so i feel like i gotta handle it all myself (with some exceptions here n there)
arrrggghhhh....
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skuntank · 2 months ago
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Still mad the rerelease of rdr1 wasn't graphically improved like at all
You literally have rdr2 sitting there like a masterpiece and then you just. Don't do anything to rdr1. Boggles the mind a bit
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screampied · 3 months ago
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DI☆MOND BOY. g. satoru
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☆ sum. if there’s anything more scarier than a special grade curse to gojo, it’s coming home to his pretty ‘lil wife who’s got a sizzling hot temperature of baby fever.
wc. 8k
warnings. fem! reader, housewife! reader, fluffy smut, unprotected, mention of kids (2), baby fever, brief lĂĄctation kink, bĂłob obsessed gojo, cėrvix mentions, body worship, cunnÄ«lingus, this is where you’re weak right, r has stretch marks, dad! bod gojo, breęding, sqĂșirting, spitting on it, fingęring, filthy pĂșssy talk, implied multiple rounds, petnames.
an. this is kinda rawdogged, im ugly sobbing to sza, and i think 
 im a gojo girl now (・・?)
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“sweetheaaart?” satoru steps through the doorway, doing a quick scan around the semi-tidy living room that he’s greeted with. turning to lock the door, the heel of his shoe nearly steps onto the edge of a squeaky teething toy. he picks it up, putting it in the basket of other toys with a contempt smile—remembering the kids were staying at your grandparents ‘till the weekend.
still - silence.
satoru scratched his head once you didn’t reply like usual whenever he announced himself. pulling off his coat, his husband instincts kicked in instantaneously. what if - what if, the same questions repeated through his head as he made his way upstairs. his heart’s racing, and as he’s speeding through the narrow hallway, he just hopes his wife’s alright.
but as he twists the croaking handle of the bedroom door, he’s met with you lying on his side of the bed. with a towel underneath you, you’ve got a cute scrunched-up look of frustration as you rub a vibrating wand up and down between your legs. you’re sprawled open—and as you’re whimpering repeatedly, it takes you a long second to realize satoru’s just stiffly standing in the doorway with the dumbest lopsided grin.
“s- satoru!”
“hey, girl,” his eyes avert toward your pretty thighs that trembled, occasionally leering back toward the drenched white towel that sat underneath you. stepping closer, he tossed the bag of toiletries you asked for, hearing it flop near the nightstand. “hey to you too, pretty.” and you pouted, watching as he slowly took the active buzzing toy from your hands.
leaning in, he greets your ankle with a delicate kiss. “ ‘m home, ‘toru’s home.”
his touch, it was forever gentle.
satoru’s lips softly planted against your skin, tilting his head to get a closer look at you - the epitome of looking like a guilty deer in headlights.
cute.
“how was um.. work?” you murmur, trying to ignore the quickening beats of your active heart.
thump after thump after thump and it’s just so loud that you were even starting to hear each pound sound out of your chest and through your ears.
satoru sits up, sliding a part of the blindfold to lift over his left eye.
right away - he’s staring at you with icy-blue eyes that resemble calming waves of crashing tides. long lashes of his flapped prettily as it took in your exposed figure with a single glance.
“was alrigh’,” he hoarsely mumbles before staring at the toy that was propped between your legs just a minute ago—gripping it in his palm. “are we gonna talk about this though?”
“i thought you’d be home later,” you shyly replied, feeling satoru gingerly rest his chin against your bare tummy. your voice sounded so smooth, especially whenever you were a tad bit nervous. he could listen to you all day. “and i never have time to um..”
“play with yourself?” satoru raised a snowy brow, kissing the centre of your stomach.
“mhm.”
“sweetheart, you have me y’know,” he flips a thumb over one of the pink buttons that were on the button, switching it off. the buzzing noise gradually dies down with a ‘powering off’ sound before he sets it aside.
god - you felt so fuckin’ hot.
as he laid close between your legs, showering your skin with ‘i missed you’ kisses — you let off a soft, contempt sigh.
“yeah, but- like, when you aren’t here. i would call you but i don’t wanna do that while you’re working, ‘toru,” and satoru places the edge of his wrist on the side of his cheek, intently listening to you.
his eyes softened - pupils dilating with love, nearly forming into hearts as you spoke. as your sentences continued—you could see tiny dimples forming at each corner of his crooked pink lips. he’s trying so hard not to smile. “. . what?”
satoru sits up before pressing a three-second kiss against your lips. “sweetheart, you can call me while ‘m at work, you know. i don’t mind if it’s you,” and he surprises the left side of your temple with another peck. “even if it’s a text. you’re the only thing that keeps me sane when i’m out trying to save the world.”
“okay,” you replied, cupping his face.
satoru stares deeply into your eyes, and you can already visibly see that smug grin preparing to tug across his pink-glittery lips.
there was something else though.
with the kids away ‘till sunday, you found yourself pondering a bit.
you’d be watching some random show on tv them out of nowhere — you’re hit with a commercial for diapers.
it’s like the universe was trying you.
it’d happen at least more than once a day, and you’re just thinking . . . what if.
satoru and you joked about having another baby sometimes but now - it had you thinking.
just imagining the pure imagery of you walking around with a plump, swollen tummy, again—having satoru carry you almost anywhere, hearing him lovingly brag about his oh-so-perfect wife that’s expecting in the background of a phone call.
ah.
you had baby fever,
again.
that much was apparent, and satoru noticed how you were spacing out mid-conversation.
“heeey, what’s goin’ on in that pretty mind?” he pouts, his face still cupped with both of your palms. “earth to mama gojo.”
“satoru,” you’d sigh, a breathy gasp trying to tear its way through your lungs. you felt like you were burning up—and the more he pressed sweet kisses against your tummy, the more you started to feel your temperature rising. “i.. i feel hot.”
his eyes widen, placing a hand on the back of your forehead. “is everything okay?” and as he starts to get into his ‘protective husband mode’,
satoru sits up, white brows twitching in concern. “stay here, baby. let me get a thermo-”
“no, no- not hot in that way, ‘toru,” you shake your head, grabbing his wrist.
satoru’s a bit dumbfounded and it takes his empty brain a bit to fully register what you meant. leisurely, your thumb circles around his hardened knuckles before you give him that look.
he knew that look all too well.
“oh! oh, you’re 
. horny. okay!” he dryly laughs, his look of worry slowly faltering.
satoru grabs your wrists, giving each of them soft open-mouthed kisses before speaking warmly. “i should’ve . . . figured, hehh-” and his eyes flicker down between your legs that were shamelessly dripping from each thigh with dewy drops of slippery slick. “was the new toy treating you well?”
“no. you sort of interrupted me and i didn’t finish.” you huffed, and satoru cheekily grinned.
“well pardon me for thinking somethin’ happened to my beloved missus,” satoru sneaks another kiss against your lips.
he tastes sweet - his lips, were always naturally glossed and his lashes lowered once you let off a cute, impatient sigh.
“but, my poor poor girl,” you moaned as he continued to hoarsely tease you, feeling him sneak a big hand between your already cracked-open thighs.
“girls,” he corrects himself, bringing the pad of his thumb near the opening of your drenched clit. you’re whimpering, hearing a single wet slosh sob from between your legs once satoru gives your entrance a single sparing second of his attention. “she’s as wet as ever, huh.”
“s.. s- ‘toruuu-” you’d gasp, watching as his head trails down low low low until it reaches just below your abdomen.
satoru’s hair gently grazed against your skin, and you were desperately holding in a deep exhale that you didn’t even know you were clinging onto for the longest.
“let’s see how much she’s missed me..” satoru gravelly coos, giving your nub a gentle kiss. it’s a wet ‘mwah’ that sticks against his lips like paste.
your legs were already struggling to hold still, and satoru couldn’t help but hum. as he swirls the flat of his palm around your twitching pussy in sloppy circles, you could already see him hungrily licking his lips through your blurred peripherals.
lying fully back, your back hits against the cushioned pillow that flatly plumps itself out against your weight.
your breaths started to sound more and more labored the closer he pursed his puckered his lips..
wetly, satoru brings a lanky middle finger towards your entrance before gradually sinking it inside. you’re moaning, feeling the lengthy tip of his tongue before he treats the top of your clit with a few beginning kitten licks.
“f- fuuuck,” your brows curled together, feeling him cup his mouth around your pussy. it’s a damp, wet pop! that resounds from between your legs, and it’s all because of his finger that easily disappears between your folds. “more, ‘toru- pleaseplease.”
“ ‘m gettin’ there,” he purrs huskily, grunting once he swirls his middle finger around inside of you. it’s so looong, stretching all through you as he feels you tighten around his digit for a few split seconds.
“atta girl, bare ‘round it for me jus’ like that baby 
 fuck.” as you’re slowly wetting his middle finger with your slickness, that’s when you feel him preparing to stick another in.
it’s so slippery yet again - loudly, it pops its way inside, echoing out a pretty noise before he eases his index finger inside. satoru’s fingers were just so damn long that it didn’t take him long to locate your g-spot at all.
with a ‘c’mere’ motion of his fingers pulling back and forth inside of you, he’s flicking both fingers you’re already spasming out. he’s reaching you good, and he’s drinking every melodic moan that left from your lips.
“f- fuck, riiiight there,” you’d continue, your hips squirming a bit. parched breaths from satoru fanned against your pussy, and he’s groaning right with you.
you’re just so wet - drowning in puddles of your lustful filth, and like the doting husband he was, he just had to clean you up. proudly, he does so with nothing more than a few flicks of his tongue.
“s.. satoruuu.” you’d whimper, biting the inside of your cheek once the pad of his index finger’s starting to ruuub its way against your g-spot.
your scent - satoru went feral for it every time, and he’s starting to lap his tongue against your clit at a much more erratic speed.
he’s forming slow yet steady stripes in an up ‘n down motion, occasionally smearing a thumb across your cunt to hear you whine. satoru’s low groans were muffled—sounding husky and all, and he’s just merrily slurping you while you writhe uncontrollably against his face. he even had the goofiest grin on his face the entire time too.
he had to admit, being between his wife’s legs or even being in your presence alone was far better than fighting some ugly special grade curse.
your grabby hands found their way to your full, jouncing breasts and you gave them a nice squeeze before whining again. even that made you sensitive.
between the wet thrusts of his long tongue—satoru’s giving your heat sloppy, sloppy kisses, even making sure to give your pussy a few pecks also. he left no area unattended.
satoru’s eyes shined bright, even brighter whenever when he was between your thighs.
in a way, the colors of his blue eyes had parallels to the shade of sapphire or any jewel, really.
as his eyes occasionally met against your own— you’re always staring at a vibrant, luminescent shade of cerulean that was forevermore fixated on you and only you.
his wife.
“mhh, hearin’ her cry for me is just the recharge i need from work, sweetheart,” he groans, cautiously pushing his twinned digits in of your cunt before pulling them riiiight back out.
not all the way, but just to where the glossy tips of his fingers showed. you’re clamping down on them both well—and he made sure that you felt every inch. you were indeed loud though, especially between your legs.
as satoru’s counting each vulgar squelch in his head, tittering to himself at how you just couldn’t help but pop out slosh after soddened slosh..
he’s paying attention to certain spots inside of you, and he’s stickily hitting all tender spots inside of your pussy - treating each one like a target.
bullseye after bullseye - he hits you in all the right places, and if it was one thing satoru’s long fingertips didn’t do, it was that they never miss.
ever.
your back’s just arching like a stretching feline, and your unsteady irregular breaths were far more than labored by this point. satoru’s tongue glides its way across your pussy before he takes a moment to spit right against your sopping entrance. you’re moaning, peering down at him, and he’s so focused on the mess taking place between your cute, shuddering thighs..
“haah-” he breathes, pulling out his fingers briefly to suck on them for a taste. “missed her so bad. she’s missed me too - fuck, can’t . . help but clench all ‘round me,” he whispers, prying your legs even more apart.
satoru’s taking his precious sweet time, savoring each honeyed drop that dribbled down your thighs before he feels your hand gripping his hair. as his head abruptly yanks forward, satoru looks up at you while sliding a tongue over his lower, slick-covered lip. “hm?”
“ ‘toru, m- my stretch marks,” you hesitate, your thumb gently digging a path through his scalp.
pausing, his dripping lips rested near the crevice of your thighs before he kissed the inner corner. “yeah. what about ‘em?”
truth be told, you were never so fond of them.
you knew your body would change after pregnancy, even more after the second time but still -
it had you feeling a bit iffy sometimes, pouting whenever you looked in the mirror and peeking down to glance at the stained marks reminding you of your visibly changing body.
“its just.. so-”
“beautiful, perfect, gorgeoussss..” he lowly whispers, kissing your thighs after each compliment that sang from his twitching lips.
satoru always knew the perfect time to cut off your sentence that he just knew was gonna be something negative.
with him—he’s listened to you express about your stretch marks, or anything new appearing on your body, and every single time, he’d remind you of just how flawless you were - to him.
you moaned, looking down to see his crimson-pink lips halting from your aroused entrance, pressing dozens of wet kisses down each striping mark that stretched against the inner parts of your thighs.
his lips were so zealously soft, and each impact of the kiss had your heart fluttering in the same way a butterfly flapped its wings. satoru’s fluffed ivory tresses were still gripped tightly in your hand, and he could feel your hold lessening by the second.
“even if you may not like your body, i love it,” he murmurs lowly, closing his eyelids. “and i love you.”
your skin was burning up, probably hotter than before and your heart felt like it was about to burst out the middle of your rising chest. each beat was more powerful than the last, and you started to feel a tingle in your toes.
“but baby-” he continues, bringing the back of your hand toward his lips before giving it a chaste kiss.
“i hope you know that you’ve gifted me two children with this beautiful body,” satoru sighs, guiding his lips down the bottom of your tummy to shower a kiss there too. “i’ll remind you every day of why i love you ‘n your beauty marks if that’s what you want. besides! i’m growing some too heh-”
“ ‘toru-”
“starting now,” he coos hotly, trailing his kisses back down between the valley of your legs. “such a perfect body, can’t believe i get ‘ta call you mine,” and with one concluding kiss against your marks, he brings an eager closing kiss against your drooling cunt. “can’t forget ‘bout her too, my other pretty wet girl.”
whining, you felt an impatient heat pooling its way around inside of you. your legs started to quaver again, and you were feeling your jaw tighten before slacking. “sa- satoru, ‘m gonna .. cum,” you rawly mewl out, your grip on his hair tightening again like before.
pursing his thin lips into a straight line, he brings them back toward your pussy, sluuurping everything out of you whilst you’re nearly dragging his head back and forth against your dripping heat.
satoru’s stubble tickles against your folds and it cutely makes your legs twitch. with your ankles having a mind of its own, they wrap around satoru’s neck — keeping him in a lock.
“mmgh-” his white lashes remained shut as he cupped his lips with such intensity.
satoru’s chin was getting drenched with your mess, and he couldn’t care less. his head moves and moves, swaying frantically between your legs while forgetting to take a single breath.
you tasted like candy - equivalent like honey, and the tip of his tongue was adamant on slurping up any ‘n every single drop of nectar that dribbled from between your puffed slit. satoru’s always had a sweet tooth, and your cunt was the only treat he’d happily feast on all day long if he could.
“c’mon, pretty,” he huffs breathlessly, the button tip of his nose swiping its way down your clit. you’re so so close, and your orgasm’s just sitting on your maddened tastebuds.
as his head continues to ferociously bob between your shaky legs, you’re whining with those same sweet babbles and babbles of his name, begging for him to not stop. his tongue’s just covered with his sugary-tasting saliva—sticky webs gluing against the bottom part of his chin as he’s now buried nose deep.
“toru, satoruuu,” and its more of a pitiful battle cry.
the edges of his teeth softly nip against your cunt before his tongue lazily circles around your throbbing frenulum. an incoming prolonged moan gets caught in your throat as you feel his head tilting for a better angle. “cum- ‘m cumming, fuuuck!”
as your release was coming to its teetering demise, you were shrieking at the top of your lungs in overwhelmed pleasure.
satoru’s giving your labia its final sweet ‘lil wet sucks before feeling your legs weakly releasing its temporary lock around his head.
heavily, he’s panting sharply against your pussy before bringing a thumb toward the top part of your puffy nub.
satoru’s sloppily spreading it apart with a single finger, staring at the cute excited pulse that occurs from the very inside of your pussy.. “haah- good girl.” he praises, feeling you arch further once his drenched stubble scrapes against your crying entrance.
you’re wetter than ever - and satoru’s lips shined even brighter thanks to your treacly juices. passively, his reddened tongue chafed ‘n twirled ‘round inside of you, and as you’re still riding out your eye-boggling finish on his face, you grab him by the hair. “s- satoru, just.. hah- came.”
“mhm~” he clumsily falls face-first against your cunt, giving your teary folds a wet kiss.
smugly, he looks up at you with a slick chin before whistling against your clit. “phewww. did ya?” he grumbles, creeping a plump thumb near your puckering hole.
you clench at that, and he ogled as your tummy sinks inward. “fuck, s.. sooo damn pretty,” and as he gives your pussy a few departing french kisses, he sighs. “mmch-” he smacks his lips, and you stared as he swiftly removed his blindfold with one hand.
as you’re panting yourself, your legs remained spread.
still lying on his stomach, satoru brought his black blindfold up to his sneering lips before wiping it side-to-side, using it as a handkerchief.
“hah- wifey tastes as good as always,” he snickers, closing the gap between you two with his own body. as satoru’s towering figure falls against you, he brings a longing, silky peck to you before groaning against your trembling, kiss-swollen lips.
satoru awkwardly moves against you before mumbling out a few ‘f
 fuck’ ‘s once he feels a certain something poke from the middle of his boxers.
he’s 
 hard.
you felt the bulge stick out of the cloth, pressing against your bare cunt — its hard to miss, and your hands instinctively reached for the knotted string of his pants.
“baby-” he bites his lip, feeling the tent prod wider. its almost painful, and he’s even starting to grind against your leg to ease the throbbing. “mmgh-” he goofily grins, his expression shortly switching to a look of lustful panic.
he’s been so focused on you that he didn’t even realize all this time—he’s had a raging boner that’s been aching for any sort of crumbs of attention.
“baby, were you working while being this hard?” you timidly murmur, watching as satoru’s face flushes with a burning tint of strawberry red.
“h.. heh. no silly,” lie.
satoru had a bit of a bad habit of randomly thinking about you - his adorable, sweet ‘n perfect wife while he was out fighting enemies.
sometimes, the longer he thought about you - the longer his problem got.
satoru brings a hand toward your right breast, and you gasped once he gives it a loud ‘popping’ suck. frosty-white strands of his hair drag against your skin as he’s slooowly running his balmy, hot tongue around your sensitive nipple.
you were still tender - not just anywhere but everywhere.
it’s fully marked a year since you had your second child, meaning that of course, your body would still be a bit sensitive in some places. places like your soft, rounded breasts—especially.
you moaned, feeling the tip of his drooling, wet tongue criss-cross its way around your perked areola. every suck suck suck pops out from his lips louder, and you start to play with his hair.
“s.. satoru,” you whined, a pout starting to display against your lips as he tended to each breast lovingly.
“i know.. i hah- know,” he breathes through rushed exhales, turning you on your side. “jus' wanted to make sure my favorite girls got some attention too.”
you felt the cool air whoosh against your skin at each second he released each nipple from his lips. it's brief - but quick, and satoru’s already got you pulsating. he’s flicking his tongue while fluttering his lashes at you, allowing clear driblets of saliva to drizzle from the cracks of his mouth.
you’re biting your lip the entire time as you held the back of his head close—hearing a bit of shuffling before satoru’s eyes trail down your fidgeting body.
so cute.
there’s a shiny sparkle in his eyes, it’s glimmer never faltering and he’s just falling in love all over again.
every moment he spent staring at you or your body, he felt that same lump forming in the back of his throat.
“ ‘s this comfy?” he wantonly purrs, caressing the bare flesh of your ass. you cling onto the pillow beside you before giving him a nod.
the slight shuffling you heard was from satoru. his sweats fell to the carpet floor with a loud thud, and his boxers shortly followed afterward.
finally - he could breathe.
his boner was just crying weakly, the tip feeling so hot as it had pearly-white globules of pre-cum wetly darting from all veiny sides.
sighing, satoru wraps a palm around his hardened cock before clicking his tongue while continuing to tease you. “ah- words, sweetheart. y’know how ‘ta use ‘em.”
“y- yes.” and with how whiny your words came out, you mentally slapped yourself.
satoru’s skin was just so close to yours - radiating hot waves of heat against your thighs. within seconds, he’s already enveloping you gradually with his embracing warmth.
pouting and all, you were steadily impatient, and he heard your cute ‘lil sighs of agitation repeating ‘till he lifted your leg.
sideways.
he was gonna take you sideways, and the single thought alone brewed up a flittering feeling of butterflies in your empty tummy.
“haah- missed you all day, have no idea.” satoru inhales through each nostril, bringing his cherry-capped tip towards your weeping entrance.
so 
 damn 
 soaked..
as he gawked, he could still taste the sugary-sweet remnants of your essence in his mouth, coating his lips like a natural gloss.
as you’re on your left side, your tits end up smushing against each other. it’s such a pretty sight too, ‘cause not even seconds later, you heard a raspy ‘ohhh fuck’ draw from satoru’s lips.
your pussy was just profusely leaking, and satoru’s holding back all hearty grunts the minute his swollen tip smacked its way against your lustrous-coated slit.
as it sops with nothing but runny molasses of your own colorless slick, your chest sucks in. “ ‘toruuuu, baby- fuckk. don’t tease me,” you’d whimper, quietly huffing at each commencing pap sound of his tip gently hitting against your folds.
he hums, hearing his wet you were - how sloppy you sounded.
satoru’s tip’s an angry red, fuming with a carmine flushing shade and he’s groaning once his vast thumb sinfully brushes past a prominent throbbing vein.
pulse after pulse after fuckin’ pulse, and you’re just making him harder.
“s
 shit, you’re right. if i tease you, ‘m just gonna end up makin’ myself finish early, princess.” satoru diffidently chortles, and you hear the pathetic squelch of your pussy begging for him to just shut up and ease his way inside already..
finally - satoru’s making his way inside, ploddingly sinking a few inches inside.
with a few wet ‘fwop’ sloshes, he’s disappearing into you. like always, you’re hugging him tight - dependent on never letting him go.
your pussy’s warmth makes satoru’s glitzed lashes flap shut for a moment, and he’s kissing his teeth. your wetness was taking him to a whole new world almost. it’s almost entirely satisfying at how you’re just swallowing all hefty nth-inches like it was nothing.
as satoru’s trying to carefully fit his way in, he runs a hand down his tummy that’s growing a bit of a pudge. he was starting to develop a dad bod himself.
satoru was still very much fit, but as the years went on—he was eventually starting to get plump, more . . soft.
overtime, he liked being the little spoon in bed. he was really soft - identical to a teddy bear with strong arms wrapping around you. his favorite position to sleep would usually be with his head resting between your chest or on your stomach.
he’s got a trail of white hairs that sprinkled all across his chest like paint splattered on a canvas. a few hairs even made their way toward his chiseled v-line, dashing just below his pelvis. all over his body, he still had multiple scars—scars from countless battles, and he himself always found them unpleasant to look at.
but just like he did for you - you made sure to kiss all of his scars that decorated his skin.
you still felt his sharpened natural abs - they were just a bit softer though.
satoru grunts, stuffing a hand underneath the crack of your bent leg before he’s juuuust about bottomed out.
his rotund base was as full as it’s ever been, and he heard your cute gargled whines trying so hard to conceal themselves.
“hng- pretty mama, don’t . . do that,” he takes stingy puffs of air, gripping firmly against your skin. satoru’s brows come into a furrow, and with the final gushing ‘plap’ alerting you both that he’s stuffed balls deep, satoru phews. “i wanna hear ya, let me- hah- hear that pretty voice f’ me.”
“f- fuuuck.” you moan out, your entire steady body becoming unstable, wriggling like jello with just a single rigid thrust.
satoru’s tip is always nice and wide, and it curves its way around your insides before expanding further and further.
with your leg bent at a near-perfect ninety-degree angle, he’s got you right where he wants you.
his dick’s sliiiiding in and out, and fuck- you felt it all.
satoru’s leaning, still holding up your leg before grunting. your cunt’s oily wetness nearly drove him mad, and you’re just coating him with your slick through and through..
the achy muscles in his lower thigh muscles quickly clench, and satoru’s already starting to feel himself break a sweat.
fuck.
“ngh- ‘toru,” you’d whimper out rawly, the chords in your throat struggling to maintain their natural pitch. he’s just hitting you so deep, swabbing the tip of his cock around your pussy like a q-tip.
it was just so sloppy at how it swirled its way in a circle, leaving you nothing but goosebumps from the inside everytime. he’s deep, stuffing you full with all capped inches of his stretching cock.
as he’s sideways right with you—satoru’s skewing his hips a certain way just so you could feel each delicious pound.
if he kept jackhammering into you like that, you were sure you were gonna start drooling against your fleecy pillowcase within no time.
satoru’s sweaty fingerprints were practically glued in between the crevices of your held-up thigh, and he was letting off sharp raspy breaths after each stroke.
he’s full, groaning as his base thwacks its way back ‘n forth into your dripping pussy. the lewd sounds rang through the four thin walls of the bedroom, and you’re just faintly nibbling on your numbed tongue. “s- so full, mngh- right there baby. keep.. hah- fuckin’ me there.”
“god-” satoru leans in, his chest flatly pressed against yours. he helps you sit upright, and you can now crane your head slightly just to see him through your bleary peripherals again. “right here, princess? right .. fuckin’ .. here?”
he’s sloppily punctuating each thrust with his words that coarsely flew past his lips.
satoru’s shaft had the right kind of lean that made you gasp. the lazy, hanging curve of his cock dragged its way through your cunt and had you whining loudly, filling his ear with constant cacophonies of your cute ‘lil ‘pleaseplease’ ‘s, ‘yesyes’ ‘s, and his personal favorite, ‘satoruuuu.’
with your head vaguely turned, he leans in to kiss you.
it’s barely a kiss - more like a bumpy battle of teeth clashing, because with his delirious thrusts, you could hardly reach against his lips.
between kisses, you heard the mixture of wet moans and hearty ‘i love you’ ‘s fall past both shared lips.
satoru’s sly smile stretches across the corners of his mouth as he’s still pounding you into straight oblivion, making sure every single orifice of yours remembers any incoming inch of his.
“hngh- feels.. so hah- good, baby,” you’d babble, taking a few hastened milliseconds in between to breathe.
it felt like you were racing with your breath, forevermore losing.
satoru’s just ruthless - stretching you wholeheartedly as the bed underneath you both grunted in horror. its creaking competed with the headboard from above which was probably older than time itself.
with this particular angle, he’s hitting you even deeper, and you feel the buds on your tongue preparing to sodden with pools of rich, cloying saliva.
“sato- ah!” you squealed, growing cross-eyed for a second.
right there,
as satoru’s hand still clings onto the opening of your drooping thigh, his tip kisses a direct path near your cervix before that kiss turns into a thrusting smooch.
your mind’s just blank - fog surrounds it, and your voice starts to pitch higher. he’s hitting you there, and satoru hissed at the familiar spongy texture that was trying hard to clamp around him oh-so tight.
the feeling of melting-hot pressure from the very inside of your sopping core makes you let off a cute, ‘oooh’ as he shimmies his hips.
“toru don’t s- stop hittin’ there, please.”
“mng- there she is. found it, didn’t i?” his guttural voice murmurs.
panting harshly—satoru snakes a free arm around your waist, and he gently presses his palm against your belly.
sliding up up up, he adds just a wee bit more pressure to near the exact area he’s reaching inside of you.
his cock’s stupidly long, and it’s continuously locating all the right spots before your mind tirelessly shot blanks. as his dampened fingertips warily graze circles around your heaving tummy, he brings his glimmering lips up to the searing lobe of your ear.
“here, princess?” satoru huffs darkly, his breathing almost animalistic as he lifts your leg even higher.
as you’re sideways, you felt multiple inches of his cock steadily continue to bruise your cervix with a plethora of heart-felt, mean tip-kisses.
your eyes were bulging, lashes batting, mouth dangling wide open. “this is- hah- where you’re weak riiiight? this.. fuckin’ .. spot where ‘m hitting, oh fuckk-” he pauses, his nose wrinkling from the immense sliding stimulation.
“y- yes, there- fuck! ‘toruuu-”
it’s just soooo slick inside you, and satoru’s groaning all up against your ear.
“dirty girl. mngh- pussy can’t.. help but talk back. god, jus’ listen to her, she’s even singing for me ‘n everything. wettest lyrics of a song i’ve ever.. hah- heard,” and as if on cue, the sloshing sounds slosh even louder after each overzealous jam of satoru’s pivoting hips.
you’re stammering on your own words, choking on every shrilling whine and whimper that dared to tug away from your worn-out voice.
satoru’s dick knew each pressure point to hit too.
every. single. one.
after all, if it was anyone who knew your body - it was him.
that included bedaubing his crowned tip near erogenous places. satoru’s easing his way in and out, making not only your heart flutter but your insides too..
it’s one wet whack of skin against each other after another, and all you could do was clamp around his cock and take it like the good girl you were.
with your tummy heaving consistently, it’s doing nothing but sending a horde of nerves all through the axons and nerves that run through your body.
it’s sending staticky signals that are more than enough to make your brain lose a few circuits.
satoru’s berserk-like thrusts were at damn near lightning speed, and he was snickering at each whine that flew past your trembly-glossed lips.
“ ‘toruuuu,” you’d drag out his name, moaning once you felt a few of his thin fingers wisp down your back that’s starting to perspire with tears of sweat.
he’s stretchy, molding the inside of your cunt with each pump of his stiffening cock that’s drilling into your very core.
panting like a greyhound, you’re stunned for a second once satoru lets off a rough groan against the shell of your ear.
his mushroomy tip faultlessly smashed its way against and into your flittering cervix that felt almost heart-shaped—zigzagging its way down before smashing against that pulsating spot again.
he feels it and you feel it too.
“ngh- ‘m gonna cum again,” you’d mewl out, feeling the sliminess of both sweaty bodies slick against each other in raw harmony.
his ramming hips naturally arched into yours, deepening the steep angle even more before hearing you squawk out a tiny warning sob. “cum- ‘m gonna cum, sato—mmngh!”
as satoru’s still holding you from your side, you’re hit with a multitude of elated emotions. you’re clamping down on him tightly, feeling your legs grow limp within seconds.
sloppily, your pussy squeaking wetly between your open thighs as you cream all down his shaft, creating nothing more than a miry, slippery mess..
your cheek presses against the middle part of your pillow as you’re spasming underneath him, whining out the same ragged, incoherent babbles.
“satoru, s- satoru,” you’d coo out, hearing his huffing puffs of air from behind you.
satoru slows himself down, wrapping soft arms around your torso as you ride out your orgasm.
with your hips still feebly stuttering back against him—it left the sweetest taste in your mouth.
all over, you felt overly sensitive - and satoru could feel your body succumbing in pleasure and defeat within his firm hold.
he held you close, brushing a thumb around your navel before whispering murmurs of, ‘there we go’ ‘s or, ‘i gotcha,’ ‘s.
“fuck, such a good sloppy girl,” he flips you over, still entirely buried inside of your clenching cunt. satoru brings his quivering lips toward yours, giving you kisses before speaking in between rushed, humid smacks. “hah- you okay, princess?”
“mhm.” you nod, crawling your way on top of him. satoru has a sheepish grin, and he does a quick peer down at your body.
damn.
the first thought that would always pop into his mind whenever his eyes landed on you—his wife’s perfect body.
they’d trail down down down, stopping at your plush thighs before darting right back up towards your face. his thumbs gently caressed near the familiar marks that creased faintly against your thighs before he sneaks a kiss near your relaxing jaw.
“heh- think the missus is gettin’ a bit cocky today, no?” satoru jibes a toothy smile once he watches you straddle him, bringing an open palm to the left cheek of your ass, grabbing a bit of skin.
you nearly slipped off a sultry-sounding moan at his sudden touch but cutely grumbled, making him lie back with a flick of your finger before attacking the crook of his neck with wet kisses.
“oh.. my, aren’t you a frisky one today.”
“shut up, ‘toru.”
“hmph. you’re kinda mean when you’re horny, princess.. sexy.”
☆ ☆ ☆
it’s probably been hours - satoru’s had you in any and every position possible, showering every part of your body with its favorite combination of kisses ‘n compliments.
he just couldn’t help it.
especially when you just looked so effortlessly pretty like that underneath him.
currently, he had you in a mating press and oh-
as he’s on top of you—satoru gets lost in your lust-filled gaze. your eyes, they were like some sort of maze he could never find the exit from.
he’s much slower with his rhythm this time, cupping two palms underneath your thighs as he’s gradually feeding your cunt stroke after stroke. both pounds of skin ricocheted against each other, noisily papping as the clashing of grinding bodies continued.
your cunt’s just drooling, leaking with endless amounts of buttery clods of his sticky, hot cum. it dribbles out of your gummed slit, creating a frothy white ring around his base as his hips continue to wedge into your sopping wet pussy.
“ ‘toru- oh, satoru—ooh!” you’d squeal out, digging the edges of nails into his bare shoulder.
satoru’s grunting lowly against your neck, using a hand to bring both knees up to your chest. “haah- c’mon, princess. ‘m still not done fillin’ ya yet, gotta get this tummy nice ‘n plump,” and as his kiss-bitten lips hover against yours, he’s pouting.
satoru squeezes one of your tits before huffing. “these too. n- need to see ‘em full again, so fuckin’ full.”
satoru’s competing pitchy moans with you, each sound laced with nothing but lust and utter carnal desire.
from the inside, you had a sticky grip on him that had him utterly whipped.
satoru’s crimsoned tip spiraled its way around your cunt before sloppily thrashing its way against the convulsing nub of your pulsating clit.
leisurely, it batters its way toward that spot repeatedly until you’re just short-circuiting on his cock once again. “hngh- satoru, ohmygoddd,” you’d hysterically sob out, feeling his big hand cup underneath your chin.
your chin’s slick, and you were messily salivating a bit as he continued. moments later—satoru slips his middle finger inside of your mouth and you moaned, sucking it without a single given thought. “m- mhm.”
“good girl,” he groans, his thrusts becoming sloppier and sloppier as his rickety pace picked up its quickening speed.
satoru’s hips were just downright rude, and he was just trying to savor each clasping clap of skin that he possibly could.
you looked so pretty with half-lidded eyes and webby clear strings of your saliva damply cascading down the sides of your lips.
“ ‘m gonna cum, sweetheart. you’re gonna . . hah- make me fuckin’ cuuum-” and you could hear solely from the tone of his voice, it was turning shaky.
each gasping syllable - it’s struggling desperately to hang on, faltering at each delivery of the next word that spills from his sleek lips.
“mng-” your moan, and satoru hummed before snatching his digit back from between your lips. he leans in to kiss you, delving his hot tongue straight into your mouth.
he’s hungry, demanding access as the tip of the pink muscle circles its way around the inside of your mouth.
it brushes against your flat tongue before his teeth greet your lips once more—giving it a needy ‘let me in’ gnaw. you part your lips so he could have more access, and satoru moans into your mouth.
“satoru, ‘m gonna cum too-” you breathlessly admit, briefly seeing splotches of white once your eyes mindlessly roll back on their own.
he’s so biiiig, stretching you to the very fullest ‘till the very end.
as your legs sporadically shook, you’re letting off sweet hurried gasps once you felt his cock expanding through your guts yet again.
you’re feeling butterflies scatter inside you everywhere, and not once did that familiar pool of heat sensation subside.
instead, it grows stronger and hotter, and you’re mentally fanning yourself as his engorged tip surprises your cervix for the umpteenth time.
it's constant - it happens more than once and it always always always feels like the first fuckin’ time.
his cock’s still leaking from his recent non-stop releases, and blood’s starting to rush to satoru’s head.
raucous, fast-paced breaths wafted against both opened mouths as satoru’s cock attentively drills into your inviting cunt at a more weakened speed.
he’s literally drowning in your pussy, your slick wetness his ultimate weakness.
as weak arms wrap around his neck, you brush a thumb down his undercut — earning a soft whiny, “h.. hey,” snatch from his lips.
satoru’s body was damn near smushed over yours nearly crushed you with his soft squishing weight.
still, though, he’s making sure to hover to where he wasn’t crushing you fully - having his rounded tummy grinding back ‘n forth against your body. as his body rubs its way onto yours after each stroke, you felt satoru’s noticeable happy trail tickle against the outer entrance of your cunt.
“ugh-” satoru sucks in a delayed breath, pressing his forehead against yours.
weakly, his knees began to fatally buckle as his nearly-drained cock’s still pushing its way through your squeezing pussy.
the build up of it all was just utterly blissful.
satoru’s shallow breath gets taken away from him like that, and he could feel himself going limp the microsecond his dick’s starting to spray inside you. “oh fuck, oh f- fuuuck.”
he grumbles, delicately sinking his teeth into your neck. he’s swallowing hard, losing all sorts of composure as his limbs start to quit functioning as if it was some sort of machine.
your finish shortly comes after too, but you end up gushing this time - and not just between your legs.
satoru hears your sweet surprised yelps before looking down, noticing your perked nipples were a bit more hardened than usual. they looked swollen - more plump than usual, and shiny.
you’re squirting down his cock, hearing the lewd squelches confirm that very fact as you even leak a bit from the centres of your nipples.
“holy shit-,” satoru blinks, and embarrassment interrupts your high almost right away.
your first instinct was to cover your face, and satoru leans in between the valley of your chest. your orgasm was so powerful that you ended up getting milked out yourself - literally.
cautiously, he slides his tongue around one of your nipples that’s dribbling with treacly dewdrops of white sweetness. it’s not even a lot, but it’s just enough because he purrs against your skin once the creamy taste hits the buds of his tongue.
“mmng-” and as he’s still pumping probably the fifth load into you, your cunt ends up clenching around him - wringing him so damn dry.
satoru’s taking turns sucking both of your plump tits, savoring the taste before his half-open eyes land on you.
he’s sloppy - encircling the tip of his sticky tongue over the ring of each tit before ‘popping’ one nipple after another from his lips.
satoru’s sweating, and he’s panting even more after your cute ‘lil outburst.
a gooey ring of cum bubbles around the thick base of his cock as he’s still stuffed inside you deep, but he wasn’t even thinking about that anymore.
sighing, he rubs the back pad of his thumb against one of your nipples that was still slightly leaking before he laps it right up, staring at you intently the entire time. his cum’s still spilling out, splattering on your tummy with his tip a fiery red.
“mmh, that’s hah- new. didn’t know you were still ah- leaking, princess. i have that much of an effect on you?”
“s.. shut up-” you moaned, your body still trying to get over its recent climax.
between the arc of your chest — you’re covered with sweat too. satoru hums to himself, tending to each breast before gently grabbing your chin.
“ ‘m guessing that’s a sign that you’re havin’ your seasonal baby fever again, yeah?” satoru smugly grins, feeling your body faintly twitching underneath him. “uh oh.”
his tongue against your tender nipples felt so good that it took you a while to generate a response in your brain that was just short-circuited completely.
deadpanning, you let off a grumbling, “obviously, satoru.”
“sorry, sorrrrry!” he huffs, pressing a kiss to your lips. you whimpered against his lips as his thumbs still tickled against each spurting nipple while his tongue curled around the inside of your mouth.
his touch was always soft, leaving you breathless every time.
your cunt’s overflowed with cum though - and even as his lips glued against yours, you could feel the slippery milky masses stream down from your slick, foaming against both pairs of stilled skin.
everything feels so hot - but satoru’s breath colliding against your tongue felt even hotter.
he’s just so enamored by you, and he can’t help but softly reach for your wrist.
“mng- satoru..” you whined against smacking pairs of lips, strings of loose saliva threatening to tear apart slickly.
“shh,” he whispers, breaking away from your lips to grab onto your hand.
he turns it around, bringing it toward his lips before pressing a single wet kiss against the back of your index finger.
there - your wedding ring beamed bright, brighter than any gem as his lips stamped against the tiny individual diamonds that made up the pricey rock.
you felt your heart flutter, watching silently as he starts to kiss your wedding ring again, again, and again, and again. .
“hah- that’s how many more babies we’re gonna make.”
one 
 two 
 three 
 f-
as you were trying to count in your head, satoru cheekily hummed before cocking his head. “heh, better get started.” and you moaned for a final time, hearing his cock wetly slide its way from your cum-filled cunt.
filthily, such creamed amounts ooze out of you and he hears the pretty sloshes commence not even seconds later. satoru then presses his silver wedding ring against your bare stomach before giving you one final kiss.
glancing up at you teasingly, satoru smacks the swollen crown head of his cock against your folds.
“now.. c’mon, mama gojo. upsie hah- daisy,” satoru throatily grunts, pushing your knees right back up to their initial position.
he just wanted to kiss the cute pout off your lips.
your thighs still shook—and satoru huffs heavily, bringing one hand to squeeze your breast, another easing his fat crowned tip inside of your sobbing pussy.
“let those legs stretch for me one more time. attaaaa girl. tha’s my girl-”
and as gojo leans in to press a soft kiss against your tummy, he hums.
“heh- we’ve got a loooot of mini gojos to make, mommy.”
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groovysins · 7 months ago
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I think it's time .
#//come and keep your comrade warm!#what more could a switch want than a dangerous russian spy whose entire disguise is being a cringefail dork. wdym I'm insane.#do you see my vision. i can scratch his lil ears and grab his horns and shove my tongue in his mouth til he forgets what he's even there for#and once he REMEMBERS he can lovingly condescend me in russian for being too trusting while shoving his knee between my legs#awkward cute goat dude who would feel irresistibly warm and soft if i stuck a hand up his shirt.#guy whose tail goes haywire the closer your hand gets to where he wants it. bf who lays down like a good boy so you can kiss him all over#I want to overstimulate him sooo bad he's white bread if it were a man but he's nice and well intentioned#and apparently that's enough to make me want to give you head nowadays. sad!#but also hello i do not know how to handle the russian spy thing. i have been so normal about it on main.#the three ppl that followed me here need to know how good of a job i've been doing of BEING NORMAL ABOUT NIKOLAI#LIKE HAHA. hahahaha. you are a national threat gone widely unnoticed and spend all of your time carefully crafting a good natured persona#and you were also given only one episode to be vaguely expanded on so my brain can go crazy with how you actually behave#like i don't think he's an evil mastermind. i don't think he's evil. he's the secret second thing that still makes murder ethical to you#and also makes you hotter sorry#i am a nightmare to the US instinctual red scare. if you put a communist in front of me I'm gonna wanna fuck him I'm sorry#especially when he's THAT cute how am i not supposed to want him to groan in my ear and show me that he's much more in charge than I think#beyond cooked. I'm charred. flambeéd.
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possum-tooth · 1 year ago
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for the love of god.
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apatheticsunday · 25 days ago
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Phantom of the Manor
AKA "The Batfam unintentionally start giving ritual offerings to the Phantom. Danny, who's been mistaken as the Phantom of the Opera, is wondering why his hoodie pockets are full of tomato slices??" prompt idea!
Headcanon that Ghosts become more powerful the more people believe in them, kind of like deities. Danny's never really had to deal with the whole "ritualistic sacrifices to Bloody Mary" or "superstitious prayers against Davey Jones" because Phantom is a Hafta. Danny doesn't need people to believe in him or worship him.
So, he's never gotten a ritual offering before.
Which is why he's absolutely baffled when he shoves his hand into his hoodie pocket to grab his phone and feels something... squishy. And cold. Both Sam and Tucker scream as Danny jolts to his feet with a squeamish shriek. He damn near Goes Ghost as he tries to tear off his hoodie, regardless of the staring mall-walkers. Danny finally manages to fling the hoodie onto their table, scrambling to Sam and Tucker's sides, trying to breath through a panicked: "There'ssomethinginmypocket!!"
Sam carefully pokes around until she finds... squished tomato slices? They're oily and salted like a tomato caprese without the cheese. Which is an interesting choice for a snack. You'd think Danny would at least use a Ziplock bag or something?
("Ancients! Of course, I didn't put them there, Sam!")
Fast-forward a couple of weeks. Danny's going insane because why the hell are there tomatoes literally everywhere? Every couple of days (or hours, depending on the day), he finds different types of tomatoes all over the place. In bed when he wakes up. In his jean pockets at school. Even in the shower, he'll be blindly trying to find the shampoo bottle and come across a handful of grape tomatoes. He can't. Handle. It. Anymore. Danny's going to become the "Tomato Man" at school from how often he randomly pulls out tomatoes from his pockets. Like he needs another reason for Dash to mock him.
The last straw was when Danny was Full Ghost and felt something... itchy in his suit. He knew before he saw it. Danny tentatively pulled the sleeve of his suit open, silently praying that it wasn't what he thought it was, and- yeah. There's V-8 smeared from his goddamn elbow to wrist. He had to fight with tomato juice in his suit for several hours. And that's it; Danny literally can't take it anymore. He goes to Frostbite, begging the Yeti to help him with his Tomato Problem.
Only to be told he's receiving offerings. Which are apparently incredibly sacred and should be appreciated. (It'd be easier to appreciate if it was, like, cash or something. Maybe a Nintendo Switch. Instead, his patrons are worshipping him by offering... tomatoes. Great.)
So, clearly, the only option is to go straight to the source (i.e., his patrons) and tell them to Fucking Stop Giving Me Tomatoes. The next time he feels something weighty in his pocket (gross!), he follows the thready connection of his worshippers through a portal.
And Danny steps out in his full Ghost Regalia (because clearly they're worshipping Phantom, right? So Danny can't exactly show up in ripped jeans and his favorite NASA hoodie). The family sits at a dinner table... which is a little weird, since he'd expected an altar or something. But even weirder is the beady, predatory that look borderline-violent staring at him from everybody at the table. There's an uncomfortable silence more tense than dinners at Vlad's mansion.
Then, Danny carefully scoops out the soupy, baked grape tomatoes from his pocket and dumps them on the table. He doesn't wait for them to question it, just points to the tomatoes and says, "I appreciate the offerings, really, but it's gotta stop. It's gross. I have to wash tomato juice out of my clothes every day. If you're gonna leave an offering, no. More. Tomatoes. Please."
The oldest man seems jolted out of his stupor.
"Excuse me, but could you please explain why you've come to our home?" The man asks cordially. (As if Danny couldn't see him carefully gripping his steak knife like a throwing dart. And that's just rude, honestly. Danny was invited.)
"Uh, I'm Phantom? You literally give me offerings every day. Again, I appreciate it, I never thought I'd have diehard fans, but I don't even really like tomatoes. I mean, they're fine in salsa and stuff, but even I won't eat pocket-tomatoes."
"I believe there may be a misunderstanding. We don't worship a deity named Phantom nor have we left any offerings." The oldest says. He seems like he's about to continue when one of the black-haired adults interrupts him with a nervous, "Uh, B? About that..."
So. Yeah. It turns out Dick Grayson and Jason Todd forced the family to watch Phantom of the Opera, which spawned the joke of offering any food they don't like (i.e., tomatoes) to "the Phantom" (i.e., their trashcan). More than half the family doesn't like tomatoes and Alfred uses it as a punishment for breaking something, overworking, etc. They'd gotten pretty sneaky about scraping their leftovers into the bin but had gotten into a habit of saying "this one's for the Phantom, a treat for the Phantom," or something incredibly stupid like that.
Danny's just... a little relieved, honestly? Because he's literally fifteen and wouldn't really know what to do with followers if he had them. Plus, now he doesn't have to worry about waking up with tomatoes in his bed or making excuses for all his tomato-hoarding while at school. (Which was not necessarily the right thing to mention to Bruce "Serial Adopter" Wayne. Practically the whole table turned to stare at Bruce when Danny mentioned he's apparently an underage deity, waiting for Bruce to sweep in with a well-executed, "Well, it's getting late. Why don't you stay the night?" Because Bruce apparently can't help himself from collecting another black-haired, blue-eyed kid.)
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