#this drivers ed is the worse end of the spectrum

[vammieposts]

I am going fucking insane do they make drivers ed intentionally brain melting??

Everytime i hear this mans voice i feel like im watching honey crystalize or paint dry or cheese Very Slowly grow moldy

Like i know im overreacting but i cant focus on this?? I have to do 30 hours and its like every time i start watching one of the videos my brain turns off and i cant focus on what hes saying i hate online learning stuff so much

i dont care if i have to go to a classroom just make me learn this in literally any other way than listening to this man reading aloud multiple choice questions from a weirdly formatted slideshow for 30 minutes straight with the crunchiest audio known to man

[ftsavali-blog]

⌠ KJ APA, 21, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, EMERSON SAVALI! according to their records, they’re a FOURTH year, specializing in DRIVER’S ED + ADVANCED ENCRYPTION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a black eye that never seems to heal, calloused hands, a cross necklace that belonged to his mother ). when it’s the (sagittarius)’s birthday on 12/19/1998, they always request their BACON & EGGS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

gonna keep this one short & sweet bc i don’t have it in me to have it long ok <3 tw: abuse & suicide mention

there will be abuse mentioned throughout this more than likely, i’ll tag the points that it specifically if you want to skip it.

claire’s step-brother, didn’t attend a spy school like she did - got dragged into it when she went to gallagher. he does care for her but is a little off put from basically getting his only family locked away. even if it was warranted.

tw: abuse: emerson knows what it’s like to be at the receiving end of a punch from his father. it didn’t happen often as a child, but only when his dad had a hard day at work mixed with some whiskey. which is why when his step-mother would get thrown around, the boy didn’t try to stop it. despite being “the man of the house” when his father had to go away on business. but he always made sure to check up on his mom and help her when his father was through.

when in high school, he did happen to be the quarterback of the football. a little cliche but he did it to make his dad proud/love him. it never really worked... but he tried hard anyway.

i guess he’s Rich Rich™ also set to inherit a lot of money once his father passes on - him and his dad were what’s left of the family.

tw: suicide mention: didn’t really know his actual mom since she died when he was a young age (about 5, his dad didn’t tell him how but she killed herself since she wasn’t happy in their marriage. thought emerson would fix that. it didn’t, made it worse if anything. she did the best she could for as long as she could but ultimately felt miserable and alone.) he wears a necklace that belonged to her. makes him feel a little closer to her.

cars are kind of his thing. it keeps his mind busy and his hands something to do. (please don’t ask me any actual car things..kthx.) 

is ABSOLUTELY scared of turning out like his father. as if anger runs through his veins, but there are times he’s gotten angry and it almost reminded him of his dad. (he’s never gotten physical with anyone, except a couple schoolyard fights as a lad.)

went for advanced encryption because coding and hacking always interested him. something he dabbled in in high school because it was on the absolute other side of the spectrum for the “classic jock”. it was also something he could do that didn’t remind him of his.. YOU GUESSED IT, his father. ;)

oh, and he’s bi but uh tries to ignore it because it’s “just a phase”

some plot ideas/wanted connections:

roommate bc of course.

a guy to definitely make it so he doesn’t ignore his bi side. 

any kind of sexual tension plots with Ladies™ so he can do his best to ignore his bi side LOL

a tutor to keep him on track

an enemy/frenemy

AND ANYTHING ELSE KTHX

[sapphic-sex-ed]

So i know this isn't sex ed but like, I'm a minor, and i want to find a psychiatrist or anything like that, but i have no way of doing that until i can get my drivers license cause my parents don't even try to reconize that I'm mentally ill.. (deppression, all that stuff) and then there's the part that really wonders if I'm schizophrenic? I'm always talking to.. something. No one is ever there, but I'm talking and interacting with it.. so.. do you know the best way to try and get things checked?

I’m not a mental health professional and I know very little about your symptoms from what you told me, but I don’t think you have schizophrenia. You realize that there is nothing there and it doesn’t seem like you are getting any answers from this thing. So no visual or auditory hallucinations. And schizophrenia is a lot more than that.

In your situation, I would suggest doing a good self-diagnosis, if you didn’t already. I suggest checking diagnostic criteria for all mental illnesses you think you have in DSM-5.

Major Depressive Disorder in DSM-5

Then research all the word and phrases you don’t understand. There is always said how many of the requirement you need to fulfill to get the diagnosis. Researching all this will help you explain all your symptoms to the specialist and maybe you also will be able to convince your parents that you need help.

I don’t know how old are you, but if you are a minor then it’s probable that you might be during puberty. If that’s true then you need to have in mind that some emotional difficulties are expected because of hormonal changes.

-mod Fiora

——–

I agree with Fiora. A self diagnosis can be very helpful. You might try communities right here on tumblr! The tag #pseriouslypsychosis is one that schizo-spectrum people use, and it is usually full of good people. Check it out, see if you relate or find our coping skills helpful.

Differentiating psychotic disorders is tricky. Generally there are three things to look for: hallucinations, delusions, and disorganization. You need at least two of them for a schizophrenia diagnosis, but if you have severe hallucinations, complex delusions, or extreme disorganization/confusion/catatonia, then you could get it with only one. Keep in mind that you can have insight and still have the symptoms (like you can know that The Thing is not real, but you still see it and that counts).

Schizophrenia and related conditions usually manifest roughly between 18 and 30. You are younger and so these symptoms may get worse with time or you may develop new ones (I started with delusions at 9, hallucinations at 15, and disorganization at 18). It’s best to keep an eye on them, and if you can get treatment early then you’re more likely to recover. Hallucinations and delusions can be managed with medication and therapy, but there really isn’t any treatment for disorganization.

If it turns out that you aren’t experiencing psychosis, then that’s ok! You’ve learned something about what it’s like to have it and can be a better ally. If you do have schizophrenia or similar, it’s not the end of the world. You can still have a good quality of life and do whatever you want to do.

Once you can drive, you should be able to get a referral from your doctor to a psychiatrist in your healthcare system. You don’t have to say the Big S Word, just that you think you need to see someone.

If you ever need to talk privately about this, my personal inbox is always open, and I’ll help you out as best I can. You can get through this, I promise.

-*Mod Star*

[gravitascivics]

UPDATING CIVILITY, PART III

[Note:  This posting, the previous several postings, and at least the one to follow are a restatement of what has been addressed previously in this blog.  Some of the sentences to come have been provided before but the concern is that other information has been discovered and an update seems appropriate.  The blog has not changed the overall message – that civics education is seriously deficient – but some of the evidence supporting that message needs updating.]

Civility among the nation’s political class, according to what most Americans see currently, is in short supply.  The last posting provided evidence of that in the form of a poll taken by the Georgetown Institute for Politics and Public Service.  That posting ended with informing the reader this posting will use the concept social capital to provide more of a qualitative sense of what the nation is experiencing not only in politics, but across all sorts of social interactions.

The social scientist, Robert D. Putnam, for example, using that concept, paints a disheartening picture.  He defines social capital as a societal quality characterized by having an active, public-spirited citizenry, egalitarian political relations, and a social environment of trust and cooperation – qualities that might seem utopian given the current state of affairs.  

In determining whether a given society has high or low levels of social capital, a social scientist can measure an array of social indicators.  They can also provide social narratives that illustrate what is happening today.  Putnam looked at a wide variety of studies of Americans in general, and youth in particular, and came to disturbing conclusions.  He found, relative to American historical standards, there is less concern for communal involvement and higher levels of uncivil and criminal behavior.

Here is a stated description that reflects Putnam’s findings.  In a 2002 study, Public Agenda reported:

Most Americans surveyed in a study released today say rudeness is on the rise in our society and 41 percent admit they too are sometimes a part of the problem. Unhappiness with reckless drivers, cell phone abuse, poor customer service, swearing and litter came from big cities and small towns … nearly half the people surveyed (46 percent) say bad service drove them out of a store in the past year...

Among the report's key findings were that:

79 percent of Americans say lack of respect and courtesy should be regarded as a serious national problem; only 19 percent say it should not be viewed as serious given other issues facing society; 73 percent believe Americans did treat one another with greater respect in the past; just 21 percent attributed those feelings to a false nostalgia for a past that never existed; 62 percent say that witnessing rude and disrespectful behavior bothers them a lot and 52 percent said the residue from such episodes lingers with them for some time afterwards; [s]ix in 10 believe the problem is getting worse, and; 41 percent confess to having acted rude or disrespectful themselves.[1]

This study shows Putnam is not alone, other sources, both professional social scientists, as the above study indicates, and popular media reports, echo his message.  

Similar reports date back to the 1990s[2] but those years, even 2002, have been a long time ago.  Are things better today?  The global public relation firm, Weber Shandwick, in partnership with KRC Research, conducts an annual survey over American views on civility.  These studies began in 2010 and year after year the studies taps into a consistent opinion among Americans, the nation has a civility problem.  

A recent report of the 2018 version of this yearly effort states, “In this year’s installment, we find Americans continuing to report a severe civility deficit in our nation, with a vast majority – 93% – identifying a civility problem in society, and most classifying it as major problem (69%).”[3]

Some years ago, comedians Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert staged a rally in Washington D. C. whose main message was a call to restore civility to our national political discourse.  The rally, described by the New York Times as “the enormous crowd, which stretched from the Capitol almost to the Washington Monument”[4] and was covered live on C-Span.  

In short, the rally hit a responsive chord.  It reflected the general recognition that life in America, when it comes to getting along with others, is becoming more challenging. This account on social incivility ends with a contemporary statistic:  56% of all fatal accidents have at least one of the involved drivers exhibiting aggressive driving – better known as road rage.[5]

         But why, one can ask, are things so uncivil?  The next posting will venture into the often-cited main causes for this social instability.  Underlying the rudeness, short-tempered-ness, and belligerence are economic realities but the trend toward this concerning condition has grown not only during times of economic challenge but during economic abundance as well.  

The use of social capital shifts the emphasis a bit; a shift that adds nuance to a crude economic characterization.  For one thing, this blog has also argued that the economic factors have settled into a receptive cultural foundation with the nation’s adoption of the natural rights perspective as its dominant view of government and politics.  

As the evidence above indicates, incivility predates the most recent economic downturn; the downturn just heightened what was already in the works.  Some of these other factors have already been mentioned, but the next posting will review them in terms of how they affect the levels of social capital in the nation.

[1] This research conducted for The Pew Charitable Trusts, a non-profit organization. This survey study interviewed 2,013 adults randomly selected.

[2] A review of this literature includes the following: Concerned Educators Allied for a Safe Environment (CEASE). The Effect of Violence on Children’s Lives (Information Sheet # 10). New York: Teacher College Press, 2000; Gest, T. and Pope, V. (1996, March 25). Crime time bomb. U. S. News and World Report. pp. 28-36; Ellis, B. E. (1996, June/July). Why kids are ruining America. George. pp. 96-98 & 128; Newsweek. “The Rap on Rap.” (October 9) (2000): 58-65.  Starting in the 1990s, there was a sense that social behavior was becoming too uncivil.  This sense was reflected in the writings of social commentators across the political spectrum (from Hillary Clinton on the left, to Michael Novak on the right). Citizens in general seemed concerned over the low levels of civility being manifested in contemporary American life. See Don E. Eberly, “Introduction: The Quest for a Civil Society,” in Building a Community of Citizens: Civil Society in the 21st Century, ed. Don E. Eberly (Lanham, MD: University Press of America, Inc., 1994), xvii-xlviii.

[3] Weber Shandwick, “Civility in America 2018: Civility at Work and in Our Public Squares,” Powell Tate/KRC Research, n. d., accessed April 28, 2019, https://www.webershandwick.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Civility-in-America-VII-FINAL.pdf .

[4] Sabrina Tavernise and Brian Stelter, “At Rally, Thousands – Billions? - Responded,” New York Times, October 30, 2010, accessed April 27, 2019, http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/31/us/politics/31rally.html?_r=1&hp.

[5] “Road Rage,” NBC News: NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, July 14, 2016.

[reesebird]

New Post has been published on https://reesebird.com/2019/02/13/im-debating-burning-bridges-with-blood-family-any-advice/

I’m debating burning bridges with blood family. Any advice?

So, this is a little hard to talk about but I’ll try. I grew up in a fairly “average” household. Mom, dad, 1 sibling, 1-2 dogs, for a total of 4 humans and a pet or two at any one time. Before the ‘08 recession, my mom was a stay-at-home mom, and my dad worked. Following the recession, my mom went back to work, and my dad went from working 40 hours a week to 90+ hours a week. Not the healthiest, but not exactly abusive or anything like that. I’m starting with this, because I want to establish a baseline – my family wasn’t a “classically abusive family” like some of my friends and peers.

When I was in elementary school, there were 3 things that stood out. First, I was bullied incessantly by everyone (save literally one student I became friends with, but have since fallen out of touch). This began with verbal bullying, then in middle school escalated to being beaten up on four separate occasions, and finally, being punched in the face right in front of the teacher, who refused to do anything. Second, I wasn’t ever challenged academically. After kindergarten (which I completed at the local public school), I stopped being really taught. I attended a private religious school whose standards were so garbage that aside from handwriting, I learned next to nothing in my 8 years in attendance. Most of the teachers were lazy, and they cared only about turning in the homework. You could have every answer wrong on every piece of homework, and every answer wrong on every test, but by virtue of having turned something in, you were considered a “good student”. Meanwhile, anyone who had a “reputation for being smart” would be berated and belittled by the teachers for being ahead of the lesson plan. I was even handed a failing grade on a science project because the teacher hated me. And my grades slowly suffered. Not being challenged like I would’ve been at a public school, I slowly gave up. I went from a straight-A+ student to a student barely making C’s between 3rd & 8th grade. Not because I didn’t get the material (though I definitely didn’t get Spanish, and I thought religion made no logical, scientific sense), but because the homework just bored me to tears. My mom would yell at me every report card I didn’t get an A+, too. My first B, I was grounded for a month. When I started getting C’s, she told me I was worthless. And, when I failed Spanish my last quarter in 8th grade, she threatened to disown me. The third thing that stood out was that in spite of all of this, I tried to keep learning. I read constantly. Between 6th and 8th grade, I kept a spreadsheet of all the books I read, and what genre they were, and in total, read just shy of 1,000 books between my first day of 6th grade and my last day of 8th grade. I tried out Khan Academy, and did independent research. I even learned how to use the library’s database on my own so I could read engineering journals for free. And, all in all, I still loved academia.

In high school though, things began really breaking. I’d wanted to attend this fairly prestigious public school that had an actual engineering program (that included shop time!). But, my mom, not wanting me to risk getting involved with drugs and alcohol and gangs and underage sex and shit like that, very intentionally didn’t wake me on the day for testing to go to that school (we had 1 alarm clock in the house at the time, which was my parents’). So I missed the test. And couldn’t go. So, desperate for a chance to not fuck everything up, I tested at one of the 2 most rigorous private schools in the area. I got in, and was immediately made aware that I’d not learned anywhere near enough in grade school. I didn’t know enough to pass algebra 1 in math, I only passed English because my teacher gave me extended deadlines for everything, and in Chinese, despite doing extremely well at first, the original teacher left (family emergency) and I failed because the new teacher made no sense to me. And I struggled. And failed. And my mom would berate and belittle me for it. Finally, I was told I had failed out my freshman year. I hated myself. Everything I was taught to value – what I was taught was my only value – had just been demonstrated to me to be nonexistent. And therefore, I had no value.

Nowhere to go, I stayed at home that summer. I was brought to a crackpot psychiatrist by my mom, and diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. He recommended heavy, regulated, and monitored medication, but my mom wouldn’t hear any of it. She finally caved when told about the weakest medication that had the most marginal chance of helping me, but made me figure it out on my own, and with no supervision. She made me enroll in online classes so that I wouldn’t “waste my life being worthless”. I can’t learn online – it’s too detached, with nothing tactile, and no accountability. And it sucked. My depression got worse, and my medication did nothing, and finally, after a massive argument with my mom, I attempted suicide. My mom got home, and found me right before I would’ve died. She called 911, and I was taken to the hospital. My dad rushed home when he heard what had happened. He brought me my childhood stuffed animal, and fresh clothing, and made sure I was given food the moment I was cleared to. He even slept on the floor of the hospital room so he’d be with me. My mom? She didn’t spend time with me. She went, and told everyone she knew about what had happened, even though I explicitly told her that I wanted privacy on the matter. She continuously violated my trust, and refused to own up to it.

Fast forward to the summer I turned 16. I was slowly recovering from depression (and, as had been discovered by the actual psychiatrists I saw in the hospital, PTSD). I’d just gotten out of a relationship where I’d been gaslighted (though at the time, I didn’t know the word for it), and was questioning my gender identity and sexual orientation. I went to the library every day I could, and spoke with the librarians there all the time. They became more family to me than the family I’d been born with. They provided me resources, and helped me understand what I was going through. And when I finally came out, they were the first ones I came out to. When I was 17, I was walking the dogs with my dad one day, when he asked me when I was going to get my driver’s license (I’d not been in a brick-and-mortar school since my freshman year of high school, and I never really did research into driver’s ed). I told him I wanted to wait. He asked me until when. I then, in probably the dumbest move possible, said “until I can transition and change my gender marker.” His reaction was about what was fair, given that I’d never mentioned gender identity in the past to my parents. However, 6 months later, when in a family therapy session, I told my parents I was trans and wanted to medically transition, my dad responded with “let me look into insurance first, please.” My mom? She nearly made me homeless, and were it not for my dad putting his foot down and demanding she treat me with the dignity of a human being, I think that was what she wanted to do.

Over the course of the next year, I was constantly arguing with my mom, who thought my being trans was me trying to “get back at her” for the argument we’d had when I was 15 that led to my suicide attempt. Finally, exhausted, I gave up. I couldn’t take her anymore. I took the GED, got my high school equivalency certificate, and enrolled in community college. I began taking classes right away, hoping that my natural love for learning would be enough. Unfortunately it wasn’t, and I struggled. I took remedials though, and I eventually learned everything I needed. I recently got everything in line to train as a Honda-certified dealership mechanic. This past year, I dipped into my personal savings and began paying for medical transition through my local Planned Parenthood clinic, and got a psych evaluation done that led to a definitive diagnosis of being on the autism spectrum (a psych eval my mom refused to pay for when I was in the hospital)

I’m now 4 months into transition, and have a stable job & classes to take. I have a small network of close friends, and a couple of people who are basically unofficial surrogate family for me. I’m dating a wonderful woman who I’m absolutely in love with. And, I finally have enough money together to move out and burn bridges. Which brings us back to that question. My mom, I have learned, uses gaslighting tactics, is manipulative, and, had I known at a time that I could report it to DCFS, *clearly* qualifies as emotionally and psychologically abusive. My dad, while not a bad person, has this giant extended family (60+ total) that I hate (minus my grandpa & 1 cousin), but that he refuses to cut ties with. My younger brother isn’t terrible, but he’s a bit of an ass at times – standard sibling stuff. When I spent New Years with my girlfriend, I’d never felt safer, calmer, or more happy. Sure, part of that is that the relationship is still relatively young, but the safety? I don’t feel safe with anyone, even with the librarians I’m still in touch with, who I trust enough that I’d be confident in making them authorized medical decision makers in the event of my incapacitation (if not for state regulations making it impossible for that to happen). Is the potential damage worth it, in the end?

tl;dr – should I start fresh, even if I regret potentially hurting my dad?