#I think the only one who has been able to match her stage presence is hyunjin

[hwangyeddeongie]

yeji outshines everyone she’s on stage with it’s actually crazy

[melanchoire]

KILLER ──── yu jimin ft. ahn yujin

── ( 🌹 ) you’ve always admired karina and yujin from afar, but when fate brings you together for a year-end festival performance, you find yourselves caught in a whirlwind of flirtation and intrigue, blurring the lines between art and passion in a way you never saw coming.

pairing. dom!karina x sub!lssrfm 6th member!fem reader x switch!yujin

warning(s). bitting, cunnilingus, cursing, degradation, fingering, hair pulling, jealousy, making out, nipple play, pet names, semi exhibitionism, spanking, squirting.

word count. 7.3k

author's note. first time writing smut LOL so i hope it's not complete shit.

the air crackles with excitement and anticipation as you stand backstage at the sbs gayo daejeon, the end-of-year festival that celebrates the pinnacle of k-pop talent. your heart pounds in your chest, an exhilarating rhythm that matches the pulsating beat of the songs echoing from the main stage. today, you would have the unique opportunity to collaborate with two of the industry’s most mesmerizing stars: karina from aespa and yujin from ive. just the thought sends a shiver down your spine—both of them are known for their electrifying stage presence and undeniable charisma, each capable of commanding the audience's attention with just a flick of a wrist or a flash of a smile.

the lights dim, and the audience erupts in cheers, signaling that another group has taken the stage. you glance at the crew bustling about, adjusting microphones and setting the stage. everything feels surreal, like a vivid dream you’re unsure you want to wake from. you’ve watched these performances from the safety of your couch, eyes glued to the screen, marveling at the talent of others. but now, here you are—about to step into the spotlight yourself.

you fidget with the hem of your outfit, a sleek ensemble that feels foreign against your skin. it’s stunning, of course, designed to make you look every bit the star you’ve trained to be. but all you can focus on is the gnawing insecurity deep within you. would you be able to match the presence of your collaborators?

karina, with her ethereal beauty and powerful vocals, has taken the world by storm. her ability to blend fierce energy with captivating visuals has made her a household name. she dances with a fluidity that seems almost supernatural, her movements a perfect blend of strength and grace. you've watched her perform countless times, her movements a seamless blend of grace and power, especially when she dances to her solo song "UP!" her confidence radiates, setting the bar for every performer who steps foot on stage. you can only imagine the electric atmosphere she generates, and the thought of sharing the stage with her sends a jolt of both excitement and fear through your veins.

then there's yujin. since her debut, she has been a force of nature, a whirlwind of charm and charisma and you’ve always admired her—how she effortlessly steals the spotlight during each comeback, whether it's in a sophisticated ensemble like "I AM" or a more edgy concept like "BADDIE." her charisma is palpable, her presence overwhelming. yujin has an innate ability to connect with the audience, to draw them into her world with just a smile or a gaze. it’s hard not to get lost in her captivating smile and effortless performance style. in a world where everyone is striving for perfection, she stands out, effortlessly capturing hearts and making it look so easy. you remember watching her from the sidelines at various events, thinking: “will i ever be able to perform with that kind of confidence?”

you can’t help but feel overshadowed by their brilliance. they are known for their incredible stage presence, their ability to engage and enthrall. but you? you’re the quiet one, the one who shies away from the spotlight even in the warmth of your group members’ company. yes, you've had your moments on stage, but always with the comfort of your teammates around you, their energy bolstering yours.

while your groupmates seem to flirt and play around with ease, you often stand at the edges of those conversations, a spectator in a world that seems just a touch too bright, too loud for you to jump in. you have had brief interactions with karina and yujin before, perhaps a shy wave or a quick exchange of compliments, but nothing that would prepare you for this collaboration, where you would have to hold your own against their vibrant personalities.

the announcer’s voice booms through the speakers, calling your names, and your stomach flips. you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. this is your moment. you’ve practiced countless times, poured your heart into the choreography, and learned the nuances of the song "killer," a sultry piece that’s all about confidence and allure. but now, standing here, you wonder if you truly have it in you.

your thoughts are interrupted when you feel warm hands at your hips. you turn to find yunjin smiling brightly at you, her presence a comforting anchor amidst the chaos. "you’re going to be amazing," she says, her voice bright and encouraging. "just remember, it’s all about having fun. No one’s here to judge you!"

her playful words wash over you like a gentle wave, pushing your worries to the side. she continues to rattle off a few inside jokes that make you chuckle, reminding you that you’re not alone in this. behind her, the rest of your members appear, offering you their unwavering support. sakura, with her calm demeanor, gives you a thumbs-up, while chaewon brings you into a tight embrace. kazuha, ever the optimist, grins at you and nods, her energy infectious. eunchae bounces on her toes, her excitement palpable, “you’ve got this!”

the embrace from your members wraps around you like a warm cocoon. for a fleeting moment, the anxiety begins to dissipate, replaced by the love and camaraderie that define your group. their faith in you feels like a lifeline, tethering you to the moment and providing a flicker of confidence. but as the sound of the mc's voice filters through the chaos backstage, signaling your imminent entrance, the butterflies return, dancing wildly in your stomach.

suddenly, the staff signals for you to head to the stage, and your heart pounds harder. you can hear the crowd roaring in anticipation, a cacophony of cheers and applause that sends adrenaline surging through your veins. you share one last glance with your groupmates, and they all nod at you, a silent promise that they’ll be cheering from the sidelines.

taking a deep breath, you step out onto the stage, the bright lights washing over you like a wave. the audience, a sea of eager faces, blurs into the background as you focus on the music that begins to play. your heart races not just from the excitement but from the overwhelming pressure of meeting expectations—yours and those of the fans.

when you step onto the stage, the world outside fades into obscurity. you are cocooned in a warm glow, bright lights shining down upon you and the unmistakable hum of excitement from the crowd filling your ears. it’s your moment, and you’re ready to seize it. in the center, you stand shoulder to shoulder with your backup dancers, their energy pulsating around you. at one end of the stage, karina stands with her back to the camera, radiating an enigmatic aura as she awaits the cue to sing. at the other end, yujin beams at the audience, her charming smile lighting up the room.

as you take in the sight of your two groupmates, a thrill runs through you. karina catches your eye, a smirk playing on her lips as she shakes her head, dismissing whatever playful banter you might have exchanged moments earlier. you feel a twinge of challenge in her gaze; it’s a silent dare that stirs something deep inside you. when you turn your attention to yujin, however, everything shifts. her grin is infectious, a bright spark that ignites a warmth in your chest. she waves lightly, a small wink sent your way that sends your heart racing.

but there’s little time to dwell on these feelings as the music begins to swell, an intoxicating melody that envelops you. the beat drops, and the moment karina starts singing, a wave of calm washes over you. her voice is a smooth, inviting embrace, allowing you to fall into the rhythm of the performance. you’ve practiced, but here, in this moment, you find a surprising ease. perhaps it’s the thrill of the sensual concept you’re tackling for the first time, or maybe it’s the undeniable chemistry among the three of you.

as the song progresses, your shy, reserved persona melts away and the transformation is remarkable. the shy girl the fans have come to know fades into the background, replaced by a bold and vibrant persona. you’ve never explored a sensual concept like this, but something about tonight feels right, like destiny calling. your body moves with the rhythm, and the choreography calls for something deeper—a sensuality that intertwines with each movement, drawing you closer to karina and yujin.

you notice how they both fit seamlessly into this seductive concept, their voices intertwining like threads of silk, creating a tapestry of sound that captivates the audience. karina’s low, sultry notes contrast beautifully with yujin’s bright and playful tones, both of them showcasing their strengths. Y

you are the third voice, harmonizing with them, but also pushing the boundaries of the choreography. It’s exhilarating.

the movements are fluid, a dance that flows between desire and restraint. there’s a moment where you’re touching karina, your hand gliding up her arm, and the connection sends electric shocks through your body. you meet her gaze, and there’s an understanding in her eyes—a mutual acknowledgment of the moment that sends your pulse racing. the way she bites her lip, a hint of mischief sparking in her expression, gives you the courage to continue.

you know what you’re doing, yet the thrill of it is intoxicating. you push the limits, letting your hands linger a moment longer than the choreography dictates. you feel the heat of the stage, the intensity of the performance, and the adrenaline that rushes through you. it’s not just dancing; it’s an unspoken dialogue, a flirty banter exchanged through each movement.

yujin is the cherry on top of this decadent cake. when she glances your way, that radiant grin reaffirms your confidence. the way she moves, with a blend of elegance and playful charm, is mesmerizing. you catch her eye as you slide your hand over her thigh during one of the sultry movements. it’s deliberate, a tease that feels electrifying. her breath catches for a fraction of a second, but then she smiles wider, as if inviting you to play.

you notice how the dance is designed to bring the three of you together, creating a palpable tension that makes the air thick with unspoken chemistry. there’s a deliberate intimacy in the choreography: sliding hands along arms, teasing glances, lingering touches. with each movement, you feel your confidence growing, and as the spotlight shines down, illuminating every curve and angle, you allow yourself to embrace the boldness you’ve found.

the audience’s cheers swell around you, drowning out any doubt or hesitation. you lose yourself in the performance, riding the wave of excitement, a primal instinct taking over as you navigate the choreography. the sensual touches become a language of their own—sliding your hands along karina’s waist, brushing against yujin's arms. each connection, each fleeting touch, feels like an unspoken promise.

this is not just a performance; it’s an exploration. your hands glide across their bodies, exploring, teasing, igniting a fire that simmers beneath the surface. when you lock eyes with yujin again, her playful expression urges you on, and you find yourself pushing boundaries, taking risks you wouldn’t have dared to consider before. you let your fingers slide from her shoulder down to her collarbone, brushing against her neck in a movement that feels almost magnetic.

you can’t help but notice the intensity of their gazes, the way they watch you, and it makes you feel alive. you thrive under the spotlight, every moment resonating with the cheers of the audience, fueling your daring. it’s intoxicating, like stepping into a dream where you can be anyone, someone fierce and confident, unafraid of what might come next.

as the music shifts, you find yourself at the edge of a crescendo, the beat pulsing wildly as you prepare for the final sequence. the choreography calls for a break dance, and as yujin takes her seat, and you and karina kneel on chairs behind her, anticipation crackling in the air. you share a knowing glance with karina before your focus shifts back to yujin.

you perform the head rotation together, a synchronized move that brings you even closer to her. when yujin begins to sing her part, her voice is a beautiful melody that wraps around you like silk. then comes the moment when you and karina place your hands on yujin’s shoulders, ready to lift one leg in a clean, sensual movement. but as you slide your hand down yujin’s shoulder, the touch is softer than intended. your fingers brush against her collarbone, trailing playfully down to her neck. it’s unexpected, and you can feel the tension in the air shift. the audience gasps collectively, but it’s the way yujin’s eyes widen for a split second before she regains her composure that sends your heart racing.

the thrill of the performance peaks, and you can feel the crowd’s energy erupting, as if they can sense the chemistry simmering between the three of you. the moment is electric, and as your fingers linger a heartbeat longer than necessary, a rush of heat spreads across your cheeks.

when the performance ends, the applause rings in your ears, but your mind is still buzzing. you share triumphant smiles with karina and yujin, each of you riding the high of the performance. but when the lights dim, and the cameras shift away from the three of you, you notice something that makes your heart skip a beat.

karina’s gaze is locked onto you, a smirk still playing on her lips. there’s a fierce intensity in her eyes, something deeper that you hadn’t noticed before, and it sends a rush of warmth through your body. but it’s yujin who catches your breath. she’s watching you with a look that is almost predatory, her charming smile replaced by something more charged, more dangerous.

you take a step back, heart racing, feeling exposed under their scrutiny. the teasing glances you exchanged earlier now seem to hold a weight you hadn’t anticipated. there's electricity in the air, a connection that feels almost palpable.

in that moment, you’re caught between the two of them, each exuding their own allure and charm. karina, with her bold confidence and smirk that promises mischief; yujin, with her radiant smile and eyes that glimmer with something more than mere friendship. you can feel the tension thickening, and for a fleeting second, you wonder if perhaps there’s something more behind those gazes.

you’ve just come off the stage, adrenaline coursing through your veins, the echoes of cheers still ringing in your ears. the performance was electric; every move, every beat resonated with the crowd, and you can still feel the heat of the spotlight. as you stride towards your dressing room, the noise of the world outside fades away, leaving only the rush of your own heartbeat and the thrill of collaboration with karina and yujin lingering in your mind.

the door swings open, and you step inside, immediately met with the soft glow of the room’s lights. your heart rate begins to settle, and you reach for a bottle of water on the table, taking a long, refreshing gulp. you lean against the cool surface, savoring the moment of stillness. the stage may have been a whirlwind, but this was your sanctuary.

as you make your way to the plush couch in the corner, the soft fabric welcoming you like an old friend, you hear the door creak open behind you. karina and yujin stride in, their energy still crackling, filling the small space with a palpable tension.

“hey!” karina says, a hint of something serious in her tone as she stands directly in front of you, blocking your path. “did you enjoy the performance?”

you look up, meeting her gaze. there’s something in the intensity of her eyes that makes you hesitate. “yeah, it was fun,” you reply vaguely, hoping to downplay her curiosity. but as you attempt to sidestep her, she’s quick to take a step closer.

but she doesn’t let you off the hook. “fun?” she echoes, her voice laced with skepticism. “it looked like you were having a lot more than just fun with us out there. you seemed quite happy being... touchy.” she presses, her eyes narrowing playfully yet intensely.

a rush of heat floods your cheeks at her words, and you try to sidestep her again, seeking refuge in the comfort of the couch, but she’s faster. her fingers wrap around your forearm, gently but firmly holding you in place. “what’s the rush? you don’t want to talk about it?”

you try to step around her, but she moves in front of you, her presence blocking your way. “c’mon, just answer me,” she insists.

“seriously? can’t you just let me breathe for a second?” you attempt to sound annoyed, but there’s an undercurrent of tension you can’t shake off.

then, as you make an attempt to back away, you collide with yujin, who had been standing quietly behind you. the sudden contact sends a jolt through your body, your back hitting her chest. you look over your shoulder, and she flashes a teasing smile that sends shivers down your spine.

“oh, what’s this?” yujin coos, her voice playful yet laced with challenge. “i didn’t know that beneath that shy personality, there’s a little attention-seeker trying to come out… a hidden whore craving attention.”

you open your mouth to retort, but the words falter as karina’s hand suddenly grips your face, squeezing your cheeks slightly to redirect your focus onto her. “uh-uh,” she says with a mocking tone, her expression unreadable yet intoxicating. “you’re in no position to give attitude right now. you’ve already had more than enough fun out there.” her tone is teasing, but there’s an edge to it, one that makes your stomach flutter.

you try to wriggle free, but her grip is surprisingly strong. Instead, you find yourself looking deep into her eyes, a silent conversation passing between you. there’s mischief there, and something deeper that makes you hesitate.

the room grows thick with tension as karina holds your gaze, her eyes speaking a language of their own. you can feel the air crackling between the three of you, a magnetic pull that is hard to resist. your heart races even faster, an exhilarating mix of anxiety and excitement flooding your system.

“honestly,” karina continues, her voice softening slightly, “i think you deserve to be put in your place.” the way she says it is both a challenge and an invitation, leaving your mind spinning.

the tension in the room thickens, and you catch yujin’s gaze as she watches the exchange with an amused smirk, her own intentions simmering just beneath the surface. in that moment, it feels as though the air around you is charged, electric with unspoken desires and possibilities.

before you can process her words or even find your own, karina grips a handful of your hair, her fingers threading through the strands as she pulls you closer. the world outside fades away, and in a heartbeat, her lips crash against yours, initiating a kiss that is both passionate and messy—a collision of desires that leaves you breathless.

you’re caught off guard, your heart pounding in your chest as the kiss deepens. karina’s lips move against yours with a fervor that ignites something inside you. her other hand cradles your jaw, tilting your face just right as if she’s molding you to fit perfectly against her.

in that moment of dizzying intensity, you barely register the warmth of yujin as she sidles up behind you. her hands slide around your hips, and you can feel her breath hot against your ear, sending a shiver racing down your spine. “you really do like this attention, don’t you?” she murmurs, her tone sultry and teasing.

you’re torn between responding and getting lost in the sensations swirling around you. karina’s grip on your hair tightens just enough to remind you of her presence, of her ownership, while yujin’s fingers trail up your sides, brushing against your skin through the fabric of your outfit.

the moment is intoxicating, overwhelming. yujin’s hands glide around your waist, pulling you closer as she leans in to kiss your jaw, trailing soft, warm kisses along your neck and shoulder. you gasp at the sensation, the way her lips graze your skin, igniting a trail of heat wherever she touches. you can’t help but lean into her, surrendering to the intoxicating mixture of thrill and lust. that's when she bites gently at your skin, leaving small red marks that ache and throb with a tantalizing heat, making it difficult to suppress the soft whimper that escapes your lips.

karina, noticing your reaction, pulls back slightly to look you in the eye, her expression a mix of mischief and satisfaction. “c'mon, focus on me now. you've already given her enough attention there on stage, it's my turn now.”

yujin laughs softly, a sound that seems to reverberate through you. “i think she enjoys having the attention of both of us at the same time, don't you?” she teases, her fingers still exploring the curves of your body with an unabashed confidence that leaves you dizzy.

“wait—” you begin, but karina’s lips crash against yours again, silencing any protests you might have had. you can’t help but melt into the kiss, responding in kind, feeling your inhibitions slip away as the thrill of the moment takes over.

“look at you...” karina murmurs against your lips, her voice low and sultry, as her fingers tighten in your hair. “always all shy and sweet for your fans, but here you are…” she kisses you again, deeper this time, as if she wants to consume you entirely. you can taste the heat of her breath, feel the urgency in her touch, and it drives you wild.

yujin’s fingers begin to explore, finding their way under your shirt, teasingly grazing the skin of your stomach. “i think you’ve been hiding too much.” she whispers, her breath warm against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “time to let go, don’t you think?”

yujin’s hands travel boldly, her fingers finding their way to your breasts, teasing over the fabric of your top. you gasp into the kiss, your body arching slightly as she pushes against you, her warmth enveloping you from behind. the sensation is electric, a shocking jolt that resonates through your entire being.

“don’t act so surprised.” karina whispers against your lips, her breath warm and inviting. “you know you love this.”

there’s a part of you that wants to deny it, to push back against this surge of overwhelming desire. but as yujin continues to grind against your ass, her body a warm, intoxicating presence behind you, and karina’s lips dance against yours, you realize that the barriers you’ve built are crumbling.

you moan softly, the sound escaping your lips before you can even think to hold it back. it’s a surrender, a realization that perhaps this is what you’ve been yearning for all along—an escape from the confines of your carefully constructed persona as a k-pop idol, a chance to explore the wild and the sensual, the playful and the forbidden.

“you’re finally letting go.” karina murmurs, a satisfied smile breaking across her lips as she pulls away just enough to see your expression. “that’s more like it.”

you can see the approval in her eyes, and it sends a thrill through you, fueling the fire that’s already igniting between you. with each passing moment, the dressing room feels smaller, more intimate, as if the world outside has faded away entirely.

yujin leans in, her voice low and teasing. “are you ready for us to show you just how much fun this can be?”

and in that moment, you realize that the performance may have ended, but the real show is only just beginning.

before you can answer yujin, karina sweeps the contents of the vanity desk with her arm, sending makeup and hair tools tumbling to the floor in a cascade of chaos. lipsticks roll like marbles, and a hair dryer clatters loudly, disrupting the serene quiet that had cloaked the afternoon.

you hear the sound before you see it—a chaotic crash of makeup and hair tools clattering to the floor, a cacophony that sends a chill of foreboding through your spine. the world narrows into a singular focus, and you turn your head just in time to catch karina's wild, determined gaze. she is a force of nature, an unpredictable storm, and you feel the air shift as she strides toward you, intent on asserting her will.

before you can utter a word of protest, karina’s hand shoots out, seizing a handful of your hair. it stings, a sharp reminder of her dominance, and with a single fluid motion, she pushes you forward onto the vanity desk. your stomach collides with the cold, unyielding surface, and a rush of indignation bubbles within you. you manage to stifle a hiss, pressing your hands against the smooth wood to cushion the impact, though you can’t hide the frown twisting your lips.

the world around you blurs for a moment. the mix of perfumes, the mess on the floor, and the growing feeling of vulnerability all combine to cloud your thoughts. you blink rapidly, trying to ground yourself in this bizarre situation.

you feel your heart racing in your chest as you lie there, vulnerable and caught off guard. you glance sideways, and there, standing before you with a confident smirk, is yujin. her heels click against the tiled floor, echoing like a metronome counting down to some inevitable climax. she crosses her arms, a smug grin spreading across her face, eyes twinkling with amusement. the sight of her fills you with a mix of dread and defiance.

“look at you...” she says, her tone playful but edged with a hint of authority. “in no position to complain now, are you?”

you want to answer her, to unleash the sharp-tongued retort bubbling in your throat, but before you can articulate the words, karina’s fingers deftly hook the waistband of your pants. the sensation sends a shiver down your spine, a mixture of dread and adrenaline surging through you. she pulls your pants down in one swift motion, and a sharp slap lands on your exposed ass, earning a gasp from you that surprises even yourself.

“what the—!” you feel the heat creeping up your face, a rush of embarrassment flooding through your veins. you can’t believe this is happening. you’re caught between wanting to fight back and the sheer absurdity of the situation.

“oh, don’t act so shocked.” yujin purrs, leaning closer. her voice is a smooth whisper, and despite the chaos, there’s a teasing lilt to it that stirs something deep inside you. “you brought this upon yourself.”

“i didn’t do anything!” you protest, the indignation bubbling in your chest. but even as you say it, you can feel the heat of their gazes, the weight of their laughter wrapping around you like a cozy blanket that you don’t want to wear.

karina leans closer, her breath warm against your ear, and the way she looks at you sends a shiver down your spine. “be a good girl and accept it, will you?” she murmurs.

she hooked her fingers in the waistband of your panties and yanked them down your legs, letting them drop to your ankles. then she settles between your spread thighs, her hands gripping your ass cheeks and spreading them apart. she leaned in, dragging the flat of her tongue up your slit in one slow, teasing lick. she hummed in approval at the taste of you, her fingers digging into your flesh.

feeling karina's mouth on your pussy, your head fell forward against the desk with a thunk, along with a breathy moan escaping your lips.

karina delved between your thighs, her tongue swirling around your clit before sucking the sensitive bud between her lips. her hands slid around to grip your hips, pulling you harder against her hungry mouth as she ate you out with wild abandon. the obscene sounds of her tongue and lips working your pussy filled the room, mingling with the pulsing beat of the music outside.

but before anything else can happen, yujin places her hand under your chin, lifting your face up so you're looking at her.

“i wanna have fun too, pretty girl.” without hesitation, she stepped back and quickly unbuttoned her tight leather pants, shimmying out of them to reveal a pair of skimpy, black lace panties underneath.

as yujin kicks her pants aside, she turns to the table, swinging one leg over the table and placing one foot on the surface, almost straddling your face. she wore a pair of panties that left little to the imagination, the damp patch at the crotch betraying her arousal. towering over you, she hooked her thumbs into the waistband and slowly peeled them down, revealing her glistening pussy, bare and ready.

“fuck, hurry up, i need your tongue inside me.” yujin panted, gripping your hair and pulling your face against her wet heat. she ground her hips forward, smearing her juices all over your lips and chin, coating your mouth with her essence.

you dove forward eagerly, burying your face between yujin's spread thighs. the scent of her arousal filled your nostrils as you leaned in to run your tongue along her glistening slit, tasting her essence for the first time. yujin gasped and shuddered above you, her hips rocking forward to press her pussy harder against your mouth.

“oh fuck, just like that.” she groaned, tangling her fingers in your hair and holding you in place. her grip tightened as you began to explore her folds more thoroughly, your tongue delving between them to taste her deeply.

meanwhile, karina behind you hums in approval at your taste, lapping at your folds with renewed enthusiasm. she zeroed in on your clit, circling the sensitive bud with the tip of her tongue before sucking it between her lips. two fingers delved into your wet channel, pumping in and out as she ate you out with single-minded focus.

yujin's musky flavor exploded on your tongue as you licked and sucked at her most intimate places. you focused your attention on her clit, circling and flicking the sensitive bud with the tip of your tongue before sucking it between your lips. yujin's grip on your hair tightened even more, her thighs trembling around your head as she ground herself against your face.

keeping one hand fisted in your hair, holding you in place, she raised the other to the hem of her tight top, sneaking her free hand underneath her shirt. she cupped the soft mounds, kneading and squeezing them roughly as you continued to devour her pussy. her fingers plucked at her nipples, rolling and tugging on the sensitive buds as she writhed beneath your oral attentions. yujin let out a low moan, her head falling back as sparks of pleasure shot straight to her core.

the sight of her touching herself, putting on a show just for you, only heightened your own building arousal.

behind you, karina could feel your body tensing, your muscles pulling taut as your orgasm approached. she curled her fingers inside your pussy, stroking that special spot deep within as she licked and sucked mercilessly at your clit. karina's free hand slid around your hip, finding your ass and squeezing the cheek hard.

yujin was just as close, her hips bucking erratically against your face as she grabbed her tits with wild abandon. she pinched and tugged at her stiff nipples, sending jolts of pleasure ricocheting through her body. her pussy clenched and throbbed, dripping arousal down your chin as she rutted against you.

yujin's breath came faster, her chest heaving as she continued to grope and tease her tits, putting on a show for you. her grip on your hair tightened, pulling you harder against her dripping cunt as she rutted her hips against your face, chasing her pleasure. “don't stop, don't you dare fucking stop.” yujin cried out, her voice ragged with lust.

karina stands up, leaning over your body still lying on the table, pressing her chest against your back. “fuck, look at you, taking both of us so well, making yujin feel so good…” she purred, nipping at your shoulder before sucking a dark mark into your skin. her fingers picked up speed, fucking into you harder, faster, the wet sounds of your coupling growing louder. “you're such a dirty girl, getting off on being used like this. i love it.”

karina revealed the power she had over you, in the way your thighs trembled and your stomach muscles fluttered under her touch. she could feel you teetering on the edge, your pussy clenching around her plunging fingers. “now be a darling for me and make yujin cum, will you? since you had the guts to play the role of the daring girl on stage when you were with us, i hope you can put that attitude on now too.”

again, karina drops to her knees, burying her face between your thighs and giving her full attention to your pussy again. she held you in place, pinning you against the desk with her body as she devoured your pussy like a starving woman.

she could feel your body tensing, your walls fluttering around her plunging fingers as your climax approached rapidly. she curled her digits just right, rubbing that spongey spot deep inside that made your toes curl in your hells. at the same time, she sealed her lips around your clit, sucking the sensitive bud hard as she flicked her tongue over it rapidly. the filthy wet sounds of her tongue and fingers working you over filled the cubicle, punctuated by your desperate whimpers and moans, oh, and yujin's babbling moans and heavy breathing.

“that's it, baby girl.” karina growled, her voice muffled against your sex. “come for us. let go and come all over my fingers like the dirty little slut you are.”

the combination of karina's filthy words and the intense stimulation proved too much. with a final hard suck to your clit and a deep thrust of her fingers, karina sent you hurtling over the precipice your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, your inner walls spasming uncontrollably around her digits as you gushed your release into her eager mouth. karina drank you down greedily, prolonging your pleasure until you were a shaking, boneless mess against the desk.

you screamed your pleasure into yujin's cunt, the sound vibrating deliciously against her sensitive flesh. yujin cried out, her own climax slamming into her as she grinded your face against her dripping sex. she came hard, her juices flooding your mouth as she shuddered and convulsed, her tits bouncing in her hands as she pinched and tugged her nipples mercilessly.

karina continued to stroke your spasming walls, milking every last drop of pleasure from your quaking body. the two of them worked you through your intense orgasm, fingers and mouth never stopping until they had wrung every last drop of pleasure from your quivering body. finally, with a shudder and a gasp, you slumped against the table, utterly spent and satisfied.

in front of you, yujin slowly came down from her high, her grip on your hair loosening as she caught her breath. she looked down at you with a satisfied, almost feral grin, taking in the sight of you, debauched and panting, still buried between her thighs.

yujin licked her lips, still flushed and panting from her intense orgasm. she gazed down at you with a wicked, satisfied smirk, taking in your disheveled appearance; hair mussed from her grip, cheeks flushed, and lips glistening with her essence. she could see the way your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath, the evidence of your shared pleasure splattered on your skin.

as the aftershocks of your shared orgasms began to subside, yujin reluctantly pulled your face away from her sensitive pussy. she helped you sit up, her hands roaming over your curves appreciatively as she took in your disheveled state.

”fuck, that was so hot.” yujin purred, her voice low and rough from her cries of ecstasy. she slid off the table, standing on wobbly legs before tugging you up by your hair. her other hand found your chin, tilting your face up to meet her heated gaze. she leaned in, hovering her lips a mere breath away from yours, letting you feel the weight of her arousal. “you're fucking incredible baby.” she breathed against your mouth before closing the distance and kissing you deeply, tasting herself on your tongue.

but of course, once again, you turned all your attention to yujin again. and to no one's surprise, that wasn't something karina liked.

as yujin kissed you, karina emerged from between your thighs, stood up and pressed herself against your back. she grabbed a fistful of your hair, gripping it tightly as she pulled your head back, separating you from yujin and forcing you to look up at her.

she withdrew her soaked fingers from your dripping pussy, bringing them to your lips. she tapped your bottom lip with the slick digits, smearing your own arousal across your mouth. “open your mouth.” karina purred, her voice a low, seductive growl.

somewhat bewildered, you didn't react immediately to her request. karina's expression changed almost instantly, the discontent on her face was evident when she saw that you didn't comply with her order when she was more than gentle and clear with you.

“i said "open your mouth".” she repeats her own words, however, her tone is more authoritative and demanding, a clear difference from the first time. without waiting for you to respond, she wrapped the strands of your hair around her hand, pulling them in a harsh tug, drawing a gasp from you and forcing your mouth open.

karina plunged her fingers inside, not giving you a chance to resist as she shoved them in deep, pushing them in and out, fucking your throat with her hand. “that's it baby, clean up the mess you made on my fingers...”

at the same time, karina shoved her other hand under your chin, gripping your jaw and forcing your mouth open even wider as she pumped her fingers faster, harder, hitting the back of your throat with each brutal thrust. drool dripped down your chin, your eyes watering from the intensity of her actions. “i bet you fucking love having your throat used like this, don't you? love being treated like a set of holes for us to use?”

karina abruptly pulled her fingers out of your mouth, leaving your jaw slack and your chest heaving. a string of saliva connected her slick digits to your bottom lip before breaking, dripping down onto your heaving chest. karina licked her fingers clean, savoring your combined tastes with a wicked grin.

“mmmh, you taste fucking divine.” karina purred, her voice a low, rough rasp. she released your hair and gripped your chin instead, tilting your face up to force you to meet her intense, lust-filled gaze. her other hand slid down your throat, feeling the way your pulse raced beneath her touch.

she leaned in close, her face mere inches from yours. you could feel her hot breath ghosting over your lips, smell the faint hint of sweat and perfume that clung to her skin. her icy brown eyes bored into yours, filled with a hunger that made your core clench with anticipation.

“you're fucking gorgeous like this, all disheveled and desperate.” karina murmured, her voice a low, seductive purr. her hand slid from your chin to wrap around the back of your neck, long fingers tangling in your hair as she gripped it tightly. she used her hold on you to yank your head back, exposing the column of your throat to her greedy mouth.

karina's lips crashed against your neck, her teeth sinking into the tender skin as she marked you as hers. she licked and sucked at the reddening skin, no doubt leaving a vivid hickey in her wake. her other hand slid down your spine, gripping your ass and pulling your hips flush against hers.

“i know you're craving more…”

her eyes, usually sharp and playful, are languid now, half-lidded as she leans closer. you feel the warmth of her breath ghost across your neck, the faintest scent of her familiar strawberry lip gloss filling your senses. a delighted flutter takes root in your stomach, a feeling you know all too well, the one she ignites with just a look.

your own gaze is drawn to her lips, the curve of her grin promising a stolen moment, a quiet connection before the storm of the stage. the small hand resting on your hips makes your skin tingle.

but then, just as your fingers brush Karina’s arm, the bubble bursts.

karina’s eyes widen, a mischievous glint replacing the warmth of a moment ago. you see her mouth curl into a teasing smirk as she steps away, abandoning you with a laugh that echoes in the suddenly silent room. “oops, looks like someone was getting too comfortable.” she throws a teasing glance over her shoulder, her voice laced with playful mockery. “better hurry, princess. you’ve got a show to do in, what… five minutes? three minutes.”

she pulled away, that teasing smile still playing on her lips, and turned to yujin, who was leaning against the makeup table, watching the exchange with an almost feline grace. a slow smirk spread across yujin’s face as she met your gaze, a knowing look that mirrored karina’s.

then, with theatrical flair, karina grabbed your pants, which had been carelessly tossed over a nearby chair, and threw them at you. they landed in a crumpled heap at your feet. “wouldn't want you going on stage half… dressed, would we?” the laughter in her voice was low and rich, the kind that made your stomach twist in a pleasant sort of knot.

the sound of fabric rustling came from your left. you glanced over to see yujin straightening her top, smoothing down a non-existent crease. you could hear the soft click of a button being fastened, the sound somehow echoing in the strangely quiet room. both of them were watching you now, their amusement palpable. their eyes were like dark pools reflecting the glow of the stage lights, holding a wicked glint that simultaneously teased and intrigued.

“oh, and tell sakura unnie i send my regards.” yujin called over her shoulder, the playful tone doing nothing to soothe the flush creeping up your neck. you watched, dumbstruck, as both she and karina, a mirror-image smirk on her own face, walked out of the room, leaving you alone.

the room felt suddenly cold, the earlier heat replaced by a chilling wave of embarrassment. your cheeks were burning, no doubt a vibrant shade of red. your entire body tingled with the memory of karina's touch and the shared heat between you and yujin. they had been playing with you, teasing you, and you'd fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

you could picture them now, probably giggling together outside the door. how could you be so easily distracted? you were a professional, an idol, a performer! you had a show to do, and here you were, pants on the floor, heart pounding, and a blush that could probably be seen from space.

before you could think anything else, loud, hurried knocks echo against the dressing room door. following that, you hear the voice of chaewon, your groupmate, calling your name in a hurried and clearly irritated tone. “we are waiting for you to start our performance! if you don't put on your outfit and bring your ass to the stage right now, you know you're going to regret it later!”

the night would definitely be longer than you expected…

[defmaybe]

Noona from the Bar

IVE's Kim Gaeul x Male Reader

5.2k words

A/N: Ahh, my debut! Thanks to @msafterhours and @i-am-lifeform24 for editing and beta-reading! And thanks to all the kind writers and fellow readers who have been nothing but supportive of me. I know my skills aren’t really up to the task yet (I have a Minji-Haewon 15k draft with broken grammar sitting lol), but I’ll seek my way through it. Thanks for reading!

—

It’s Friday night. The sound of the electronic beats echo throughout the bar, accompanied with the shaking bass. Customers are cramped into small tables, shuffling together to accommodate the enormous crowd. And there you are, sitting in front of the vacant stage, which, to your knowledge, is usually reserved for the band to play, with the Nordic-esque climate sending shivers through your body.

Leehan and Sungho dragged you with a few other guys here after your sophomore finals. You wouldn’t say that it’s a chore, but there are definitely better things to do than get drunk. These two are the most outgoing guys of your diverse group. Meanwhile, you aren’t much of a social butterfly, preferring the more busy student council member life. Sitting in between them, you can only scroll through your phone to pass the time.

“To our grades!” Sungho raises his glass and looks around, inviting you and the other friends to join him.

“To our grades,” you say, barely able to hear your own voice before clinking your glass with others.

You chug half your beer, ready for a long night, your friends laughing as they do the same.

Sungho sighs, putting down his drink, and saying, “Thanks to Seokjin, or we wouldn’t have today, drinking beers and listening to music!”

All eyes on your table turns to Seokjin, the kind, quiet nerd of your group. “It’s nothing really, you’re my friends, and—”

“To Seokjin!” Leehan puts his glass up for another toast, while Seokjin scans around him, seeing all his friends doing the same, smiling. 

“Thanks, guys.” Seokjin says, as he raises his glass for a toast with yours.

—

As the night goes on, the music shows no sign of calming down. NewJeans booms through the speakers, interspersed with remixes of local songs. Alcohol has started to take hold of you, plaguing your inhibition with sharp tingles as you chug your glass away.

“Shit, I have to go to the bathroom,” Leehan suddenly says.

“I’m coming with you,” Namjoon follows. “Anyone else?”

Everyone around the table stands up except for you, and you watch as they shoot you apologetic glances. “Watch the table for us!” Sungho shouts at you, his voice struggling to carry through the loud music. “Use your student committee power to protect this table or whatever.”

“Fine, and I’m only a secretary, by the way. Don’t be gone for too long.” You smile, waving to your friends as they leave one by one. 

“I think Leehan is going to stay there for quite a while. I saw him heaving a bit earlier,” Seokjin sighs, worried.

Your eyes widen. “Well, I’ll wait for you guys here. Take your time,” you assure Seokjin, with him gesturing a thanks with a grateful smile. 

—

On the other side of the bar, another group revels as their finals come to an end.

“Jiwon, pass me the liquor, please,” Gaeul asks.

Jiwon holds the half-full rum bottle. “Gaeul, this is your fourth glass of the night. Are you sure you wanna drink more?”

Gaeul scoffs, voice already slurring. “Yeah, why not?” 

“Well, the last time this happened, I was holding your head above my toilet by the sixth shot,” Yujin adds.

“It will be different this time, come on~” Gaeul pleads, sulking in her chair, matched by her descending tone.

“Fine,” Jiwon huffs, finally passing the rum to Gaeul. “I’m not holding your hair again, though,” she pouts, with Yujin nodding in agreement.

“Thanks!” Gaeul pours the drink into her ice-filled glass before topping the golden liquor with cola. She glances around her table. “I promise, I’ll be the one who holds Wonyoung—,” her stream of thoughts is cut off, as she catches your presence not too far from her, alone, sliding one video after another, gleaming her with flame.

Yujin follows her sight to you. “Well, well, another freshman, huh?” She scoffs.

“Oh, come on, I never get to do this. God, Jiwon brought like three guys to her place in the same month before,” Gaeul deflects.

“Hey!” Jiwon reaches to slap her hand. “You say that like it’s an insult.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Gaeul pouts, making Jiwon roll her eyes, smiling.

“If you want him, then go get him!” Wonyoung adds. “We may not have another chance in our senior year. They are going to kill us with those goddamn projects.” She takes a sip from her glass and contorts her face after that.

“You know men don’t like older women, right?” Gaeul turns her head back onto Wonyoung, who’s still trying to make peace with the content of her glass. “He’d say no.”

Yujin laughs, “That attitude is why you’ve brought no one back to your place!” She pushes Gaeul’s drink into its owner’s hand, pointing at her face. 

“Don’t live to regret this.”

Gaeul taps the table with her fingers rapidly, contemplating her approach. Her friends watch her hesitation with anticipation, until Gaeul retorts, “Alright, fine. If that’ll make you guys happy,” before getting up from her chair and walking towards you, glancing back to see her peers watch the scene unfold from afar.

—

It has been twenty minutes since your friends left. You are caught under the crushing weight of the foreign sounds and solitude among the crowd. Leehan is probably having his face in the toilet. And being the good friend you are, you bring up your phone to text Seokjin to ask about the situation.

Before you hit send, a sound comes from your right, catching your attention.

“Hi!”

You turn to see a woman with short, raven black hair standing before you. Her hand is holding a glass of what your best guess seems to be cola. Her nails are cut short and plain. She’s wearing a black cardigan that somehow shows off her lean curves. Her jeans don't make it even easier for you, leaving you with little to imagine.

“Is this seat taken?” she asks, bending down to hover her glass above Sungho’s seat.

“Hey!” You greet her. “Yeah, it’s taken. I’m sorry about that.” You plant your hand on the vacant chair, inadvertently touching her long fingers, eliciting a giggle from her.

“Shit, sorry! …Again.” You pull your hand back as you feel her warm skin. You can feel a small fire in your cheeks.

Gaeul lifts her glass to cover herself laughing. “Haha, it’s fine. Still, are your friends coming back soon? I’m kinda looking for… company tonight.”

It’s quite rare to find someone approaching you, let alone stating their romantic needs this clearly. Yet, it’s a bar after all; alcohol strips people’s inhibitions off here. And who are you to say no to this beautiful woman?

“Oh, sure! They are probably taking care of my friend in the toilet. Go ahead.” You gesture at her to sit down, as she moves the chair a little to comply.

“I’m Gaeul, by the way.” She offers you a handshake, smiling, to which you happily accept. Unlike yours, her hand is silky soft, 

“Hi, Gaeul. I’m from engineering, civil. What do you study?” You ask.

“Architecture! I’m just beside you, haha,” as she pulls her hand back and placing her glass on your table. The architecture faculty is bordering your engineering main building, and you’ve walked past it often during lunchtime.

“Have I met you before?” You inquire, squinting your eyes on you to examine her shadowed features.

“I don’t think so. I would have remembered you with that face.” Gaeul playfully points at your face, chuckling.

You chuckle along to hide the fact that she’s really influencing you with such an irresistible charm. “Thanks, I guess.”

“What year are you in?” Gaeul asks. “I’ve recently finished my junior finals. I made a lot of home models this year.” She rolls her eyes and sighs while recounting her experience.

“You are a year above me. I’m just a sophomore.” You answer.

“So, I’m your noona, right?” She giggles, tapping your shoulder softly with her finger.

“Yes, Gaeul noona,” you pout, placing your hands on your thighs.

Gaeul giggles, “No need, haha. Just Gaeul is fine, really.”

“Alright, Gaeul.” You smile along with her.

The night with Gaeul advances, while you quickly forget about your friends taking care of Leehan. You learn about her aspirations of being an architect, and how she also hates drawing to death. 

“And you want to become an architect?” you ask, baffled in such contradiction.

“Yeah, haha, I’ve always loved elegant buildings, and I really want to create them myself as I grow up.” Gaeul smiles, gladly sharing her wishes. 

She continues, “But when it comes to drawing, I’ve always had the feeling of having to perfect them. And that eats up a lot of my energy, really.”

“So, you’re a perfectionist?” you continue to shoot questions at her, giggling.

Gaeul laughs. “You can say that.”

She then tells you about the pets at her home, as she learns about your ambitions. And you feel like the conversation is sparking everywhere; it flows like the alcohol in your blood, suppressing your shyness just for her.

—

“Yeah! I just got my driver’s license a few months ago.” The clock strikes almost ten, over half an hour after your first words with her, and the topic is lingering on driving at the moment.

Gaeul takes a deep breath before gaining the courage to ask. “Hey, do you want to go back to my place?”

“Really?” you ask.

“Yeah, talking in here doesn’t give us much privacy.” Gaeul seems to be going all-in here.

Unable to bother yourself under these waves of songs you can’t sing along to anymore, you answer in a quickfire, “Sure! Where do you live, though?”

Gaeul points her thumb behind her, towards the outside. “Just across this bar. I usually have my friends crashing for the night if they can’t walk to their dorms.”

“Lead the way, then.”

—

“Well, show’s over, girls,” Jiwon huffs, seeing Gaeul guiding you out of the bar. “It’s the three of us now. Anyone you guys are eyeing on?”

Yujin and Wonyoung shrug. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the night first,” Wonyoung says.

“Yeah.” Yujin adds and signals a toast, as Jiwon and Wonyoung join her.

—

Gaeul unlocks the door to her room before leading you inside. Her room is pretty tidy, aside from the lump of unfolded clothes on her bed on the left, covered by brown bedsheets. She has a few stuffed animals sitting at the top of it: some Care Bears, a cylinder piggy doll, with Shaun the Sheep gracefully sitting in the middle, and a few more aquatic animals.

“I’m saving up my money to buy my fifth Care Bear,” Gaeul says with a smile, determination sparks in her eyes.

On the opposite side, there’s a drawing table with a few sketches of buildings, showcasing her architecture works. You close the door and lock it for her.

Noticing the mess, she darts toward the bed. “It’s a little messy, sorry,” she says, picking up the pile before cramming it inside her closet. “I didn’t have time to take care of it when I was coming out.”

“I don’t mind, really.” You smile, understanding her struggle of doing laundry.

Gaeul smiles back as she shuts her closet door. “Where were we again?” she leans against it, giving you a questioning look.

“I—,” you pause, further taking in the atmosphere of her room. You find a few movie posters on her wall above the bed: Thirteen, Little Women, and After Hours are the ones standing out. She also has her Jubilee vinyl on display just by her table.

“So, you like Japanese Breakfast?” you ask, before she follows your gaze onto the album. You’ve never expected someone you find at a bar to listen to Michelle Zauner’s band, to be honest.

“Yeah, it was my sister’s before she moved out,” Gaeul answers. “But the album itself is pretty good. I pick it up now and then to let it loop while I’m drawing.”

“I’ve heard about its quality.” You tap your fingers on your thighs, eyes darting everywhere except onto her.

Gaeul taps her chin in a staccato rhythm; she seems as unsure of her next action as you do. The humming of the air conditioner lulls from behind her. She ponders for a while, before stepping towards you.

“You know the implications, right?”

And that’s it; the way she says ‘right’ tingles you in a peculiar way. Gaeul looks into your eyes as she does, eliciting an indescribable feeling inside you. Your hands shake as she closes her distance to the point where you can feel her breathing.

“May I?” she asks, lips just inches away from yours.

“S—sure,” you stutter out in front of this gorgeous woman.

Without further ado, Gaeul kisses you ardently. Her tongue doesn’t let your mouth simply rest on hers, as she invades your cavern to display the passion she has been holding. She cups your cheeks so that she can taste you more thoroughly. You moan at such a confident act right into her mouth, before you let your tongue wrestle with hers.

As the kiss deepens, Gaeul draws her hand down your neck, and you shudder in response. “Fuck, noona,” you utter through the connected lips. Your hands cup her face, letting her take control. And without initiation from you, her fingers sliding down your abdomen seem to invite you to engage with her under the same depravity. Yet, your hands linger on her facial features.

Soon, Gaeul’s hand works its way to your crotch, stroking your erect length through the pants. “Wow, all excited for me, huh?” she says, suppressed under the kiss, and you moan through the gaps, having your shaft fondled.

Gaeul breaks off from the torrid act, but her lips leave just a little distance from yours. However, it’s far enough to keep you wanting her more. She lifts her arms to wrap around your neck. “I want to ask you something.” She says in a whisper while looking into your eyes; her deep voice shakes you.

“Go ahead.”

Gaeul clicks her tongue a few times, glancing at the wall before asking. 

“Are you comfortable calling me noona again? I know I told you back in the bar to drop it, but seeing you being all obedient because of me is a bit of a…” She bites her lip as if to resist the inevitable. “…turn on.” She grins, unsure, not even believing the words coming out of her mouth.

You chuckle before answering without another hesitation. “Sure, Gaeul noona.”

Gaeul smiles. “Alright, baby boy.” She slides her hands down to work on your top button. “Let’s go to our main course.”

You quickly unbutton your shirt upward to meet her trembling hands. And quickly, your shirt is up for Gaeul to toss it away into the void. She runs her right hand down your chest. “You take care of yourself well, don’t you?” As her fingers tap on your flat stomach, hitching your breath.

“C—Cardio from time to time, noona.” You stutter out; fuck, this woman is burning your skin.

“Good for you.” She says in a deep tone, while her right hand is still feeling your midriff.

“Now, leaving you like this wouldn’t be… fair, right? Bare for me to—” The next word cut short for her to plant her lips on your nipple, tasting your body and eliciting a moan from you.

“Noona…” You are now lost in the pleasure; jolts after jolts from her lips rush through your body, making you shudder. Her saliva coats your nipple, and you lock your hand behind your noona’s head to keep yourself from falling over.

Gaeul keeps switching her suction on your peaks before she pushes you onto her bed. “I was talking about fairness, right?” She says with her fingers tilting your head down on your chin a little to meet her eyes. Her legs are straddling yours, keeping you in place.

“Y—Yes, noona,” you speak out.

“So, since you are half naked… under me.” She traces a line down your abdomen, igniting a fire in its wake. “You get to choose which half of me… that you want to see.”

You gulp, eyes wide. Fuck, this woman is really having her way with you now, and there’s nothing you can do to resist her seductive endeavor. Your mind goes into overdrive with the choices: top or bottom, top or bottom, top or—

“Every second counts, my baby boy.” Gaeul taps her bare wrist, grinning.

You swallow another gulp. “Your pick, n—noona.”

Gaeul giggles. “Well, since I’m a believer in justice…” She moves her hands to the top button of her black cardigan, ready to unlock it. “Say please, baby,” she says with her sultry voice.

“Please, noona.” You succumb to her domination. As Gaeul unlocks the first button, putting her soft cleavage into view.

“Please what, baby boy?” She continues her seduction; her hands are toying with the second button now. She pulls the neckline down to reveal the strings of her bra and the full view of the valley between her mounds.

“Please take your top off, noona,” you plead.

Giggling, “Alright, baby boy.” Gaeul quickly unbuttons the remaining locks, as her unending tease also seems to affect herself. Her toned midriff quickly reveals itself to you, decorated by the sky blue laced bra above, sending you further into a spiral.

Slowly, she strips herself off of her cardigan, your tongue becomes drawn to the thin string that holds two sides of the chest cover together. You can taste the hints of her salty sweat absorbed by the cloth.

“Fuck,” Gaeul whimpers. “S—So needy, aren’t you?” She tosses the outer garment away before pressing your head onto her. Being pushed even more, you map a straight line up the hollow of her chest with your tongue, causing her to moan out.

“Alright, I—I get it, you’re a—a tits person,” Gaeul cries out, quickly retreating her hands to unclasp the back of her remaining top attire. “This doesn’t mean y—you have p—power over me or anything, though.”

“Yes, noona,” you say through your licks, her bra falls off right between you two. As you pull yourself back to take a break from your appetizer, you are given the heavenly sight of her succulent tits. They are small, but you’ve never been the one to care, anyway. Her nipples are already erect, aroused as she expects the divine rapture from no one but you.

“You like the view, baby boy?” Gaeul chuckles at the sight of you salivating in front of her perky mounds. 

As an answer, you dive in to savor her excited brown nubs. There’s no particular taste to them, yet you’re being commanded by these peaks to satisfy her overflowing lust, making her a writhing mess right before you.

“God, fuck!” Gaeul moans out. You remain fixated on her tits, sucking on them as if your life is hanging on the strings of her cries. And to further stimulate her, you use your hand to caress the freed side of her frame. You roam from her shoulder to the waistline, squeezing her chest with each passing.

Gaeul, again, presses you onto her soft chest, yet she’s unable to let herself being satisfied just on the outside anymore.

“F—Fuck, shall we go to the m—main course, baby boy?” her words come out ragged; she can’t further shackle herself from the peak of intimacy.

You remove yourself from her nubs. “Yes, please, noona.” Gaeul pushes you down onto her bed, signaling you to unzip your pants while she does so. And within a blink, your erect cock and her soaked cunt are just a breath away from each other. She seems to be an all-natural girl too, choosing to let her hair grow above the canal, and that just makes her even more mouthwatering.

Still, the sex education lessons hold you back on the ground. “Do you need protection?” you ask, concerned about the prospect of unwanted consequences.

“I have my contingency plans, baby,” she huffs with a smile as she hovers her sex just above your shaft now, ready for the ride of her life.

With no words, you nod, and she slowly sinks herself onto your rod. You cry out as your tip gradually disappears into her. You pull your head back under the overwhelming sensations. “Fuck,” and you can do nothing but whimper.

“D—Do I feel good on top of you?” Gaeul asks, voice and her body shuddering in the descent. You are halfway inside her now. Her hands are roaming on your writhing frame, determined to push you off the edge even faster.

“Yes, fuck, noona. You feel so fucking good.” You’re enamored by the throes of pleasure surrounding your body. She slowly impales herself down to the hilt, fully coating your cock with her nectar.

“Fuck!” Gaeul’s tone becomes a scream now. She bends herself back, showing her fragile frame. Traces of ribs are visible under the room light, and her immaculate chest stretches for you to view.

Gaeul remains in the position for a while, before she drags her wet cunt off of you, just barely seeing your tip, grazing your dick with such an unbearable pleasure. Your length now glistens with her honey, but the shackling gratification lets you register only her up and down motion. And as she slams down, you can do nothing but moan under such divine elation.

Wet squelches and moans echo throughout the room, as Gaeul picks up her pace to quicken this perversion. She cries out in every movement, and you echo out every moan. Her short hair becomes really helpful in situations like this, since, with each bounce, they don’t seem to cover her face as much as it should. And you’re one lucky man to see her all invested in the depravity - every contorted face, every line drawn on your abdomen with her hands, and God, how her moan is a symphony you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Inevitably, with each of her bounce, it drives you toward the precipice. Her angelic moans and the bouncing chest ramp you up closer to paradise. The sight of her riding you - mouth agape, perky tits bouncing, hands shuffling her strands to make sense of the pleasure, creating such an immaculate image - with the sensations around your cock is just unyielding.

“N—Noona, I’m gonna cum, slow down,” you plead, and Gaeul looks down at you, hands still locked in her olive hair. Her breaths become ragged, and her whimpers seem to scale up with each insertion.

“Me too, baby boy, me too,” Gaeul cries out. “Cum with me.” 

She keeps the moderate tempo she has been putting on you. Her bare, untrimmed, drenched cunt rams your cock with steady speed to keep your orgasms alight. Sounds of fleshes crashing into each other; an unyielding amount of Gaeul’s honey is mixing with the notes that come out of her gorgeous lips, creating a concoction that sends you into ecstasy.

And with one last thrust, along with you, Gaeul becomes a squirming wreck. With eyes fluttering, delectable chest heaving, wailing such a symphony that only a deity can sing. Her entire frame shakes with exaltation. You cry from the depths of your lungs, and the knot in your stomach becomes undone. Your cock shoots spurts of cum inside her, as Gaeul’s delicate cunt gushes out torrents of clear juice onto your crotch.

With each twitch of your length, they serve the purpose of unloading into her womb to the brim, and they shake you to sing out such a beautiful melody, joining Gaeul into composing an amorous masterpiece. Your nectar finds its way out to concoct with hers, pooling on your crotch. It’s a breathtaking sight, seeing her undone like this - juice spilled, wails unrestrained, walls contracting to drain you dry.

Gaeul’s climax subsides; her moans show signs of her normal voice again. “G–Good job, baby boy,” she chuckles through her whimpers. Her pace decreases, and you’re thankful that she doesn’t ride your consciousness out.

“You’re getting sensitive, right?” She brings her motion to a stop, but still enveloping your length within her needy core. It’s warm; she’s warm.

“Yeah, noona. You can–,” you stop halfway for a few breathers. “You can stay like this, to be honest.”

“Oh, my poor baby boy~,” Gaeul laughs. “We can stay like this if you really want it.” Her voice still carries hints of intoxication, yet you can’t deny that the potential of it being genuine affection entices you. “I’ll have to go to the bathroom first, though. I can’t sleep with our cum being everywhere like this.”

She bends down to give you a peck on your forehead, before slowly, agonizingly, pulling herself off of you. And doesn’t that make you whimper out, as your cock is still sensitive from shooting spurts of your seed inside her dainty cunt? The feeling of unloading still lingers in your filthy mind.

Maybe it’s a mix of all the sensations you’ve ever felt - mostly pleasure with pain. You moan out as she chuckles at the sight of you crumbling under her final touch. “Alright, baby boy, wanna take a shower?” Gaeul gets up from the bed before sauntering towards the bathroom. “Maybe we can have another round~,” she winks across her shoulder, before going into the shower.

“I’ll be there, noona,” you reply, as you collect your inhibition enough to take another shot of intimacy with her under the running water.

—

Sunlight peeks through the curtains, waking you up after the rough night, naked. Last night’s debauchery remains clear in your head, as the images of Gaeul commanding you around are still in high definition. You look around the room to catch your noona examining the contents of her fridge, bending over to show you her bare, plump ass, only slightly covered by her baby blue shirt.

“Up already, sleepyhead?” She notices you through the gap between her arm and the single garment on her. “I have some banana cake left, not expired yet,” she says before picking it up and surveys the package. “Yeah, a day left. You want one?”

“How much is it? Can you send me your QR code after this, noona?” The memory of you acting all-obedient shows up again, and you can only cover your mouth after that. 

“No need, ‘baby boy’,” Gaeul chuckles, pulling up an air quote, mocking the tone she used last night. “Consider this as part of the one-night plan.”

God, she looks flawless under this morning’s light. The way her short hair is messy; the tired eyes, and that pair of legs - the pair you wish to be caught between - makes you want to spend another day with her. 

“Can I extend my subscription?” you utter out involuntarily. The alcohol hasn’t returned your reticence yet, perhaps.

Gaeul considers your proposal for a while, nibbling her chin with her free hand, while tapping her feet with the cake still in the other hand. 

“Well, I’m not sure, really,” she says. “I have only known you for barely half a day, with the help of alcohol.”

“I know, Gaeul,” you groan. “But like, I want to know you more.”

“I don’t know.” She chuckles as she closes the distance between you two. 

Gaeul continues her interrogation, “do you, really?” Her bare, untrimmed pussy comes in at your face level. She changes her motion to crossing her legs forward, slowly, covering the lower part of her sex as she gets right in front of your eyes.

You drool at the sight, tranced, as your morning wood is twitching. Your tongue involuntarily sticks out, aimed at her nub, and you are magnetized to her cunt again. You are so ready to please your noona again, making her a drenched disarray before you, before Gaeul breaks your train of desire, grabbing your chin and tilting your head up to watch her smile.

“Alright, I believe you now.” She simpers with your tongue still out. “I’ll give you my Instagram before you leave.”

You sign an okay to her, as you retreat your tongue back into your mouth.

“Good boy,” Gaeul laughs. “Here, your breakfast.”

You take the banana cake from her. “Thanks, noona.”

“I’ll give you more than this the next time, if you can make me fancy you.” She lets go of you before climbing onto her bed to the other side, giving you a view of her luscious cheeks once more. She bends down to pick up your discarded, now-creased clothes, involuntarily (or not) putting her sex into display, and you can do nothing but let your length twitch at the sight.

You gulp at the sight, mustering the courage to ask out, “Really?”

She sits back up after her teasing act, legs crossed, but you can still see flashes of her. Gaeul ponders for a while, tapping her chin in the same veins she did before the explicit scene of you two.

“Definitely, maybe.” She laughs again, shooting the garments at you, and you can only join along with her.

—

As you walk back to your dorm, your phone suddenly rings. You pick up the phone, eyes widen. It’s Sungho, the ‘friend’ you left with no trace for him last night.

“Shit.” You utter before accepting the call.

“Where the fuck have you been last night, bro?” His breath is coming in shorts. “We were worried about you. We came back around ten—”

“I was with a woman; her room is just across the bar. I’m fine, Sungho,” you reply.

“Oh.” Sungho pauses. “Oh damn. Wow.” He’s left speechless for a few seconds.

“Yeah, and we—, uh—” You stop, contemplating on whether to tell him.

“No need, bro.” You can hear Sungho chuckling through your phone. “Who’s the lucky woman who takes your virginity, huh?”

“Architecture,” you play coy, withholding Gaeul’s identity. “And we trade each other’s contact just this morning.”

“Goddamn, you had been inside her, and you just asked for her contact after that? Fucking hell, man.” Sungho laughs again. “Well, we’re happy that you didn’t lose an arm or anything, bro.”

You smile before remembering about your sick friend. “Oh, what about Leehan? How’s he now?”

“Fine, he’s still sleeping on my bed,” Sungho affirms. 

You smile, and reply, “Alright, good, thanks for calling.”

“No problem, see ya!” Sungho says.

“See ya.” And you hang up the phone.

On the way back, the prospect of building your relationship with Gaeul reels in your mind. The probability of you two working remains shaky. Emotions might take hold of only one of you, dragging its victim into an unbearable sorrow. What if a crush turns into a craving? Either way, the shared moment of your bodies clashing into each other is going to be etched into you, and, hopefully, her.

And as you unlock the door, a notification pops up on your phone, and it reads as:

actualgaeul started following you.

—

[marleyybluu]

Four and Counting

husband!Oscar Diaz x fem!black!reader

Word count: 4.4k (oops)

Warnings: everything is fluff, the cutest couple alive, another pregnancy, hints at abortion (but supportingly?), Oscar being the cutest fucking husband, self-indulgent asf cant lie like I want be in love like this

if i missed any lmk

AN: yall do not know how long this mf has been in my drafts omg I finally finished. This fic is just drowning in love. No smut 🤷🏾‍♀️. A bit rushed in certain places but it all fits pretty well in my opinion. this is not the end of the series but its like the end of the main chapters. there will be lore on the couple obvi, updates on the kids and the family as a whole bcus i am obsessed. hope yall enjoy.

You didn't know how it happened, you blinked and soon there were four. You had four kids running around your home filling it with innocent joy and laughter, and the occasional attitude. It was a full house and a busy life, but it could be enjoyable. You'd become a stay-at-home mom. At first, you weren't sure if you'd be able to manage, you loved your job a lot and worked extremely hard for it but with your growing family, your kids needed you more.

With Oscar opening a second restaurant you thought it'd be a good idea to bring up what's been gnawing away at you and he tells you that he's behind you no matter what path you choose. You put in your letter of resignation and bid your co-workers a teary-eyed farewell with promises to visit as much as they can. You had to admit it was a nice break, you didn't have to wake up as early, you weren't on your feet as much and the house was nice and quiet for a few hours when your children were either in school or at daycare. But then you had baby Rosie and your house had returned to a screaming, hollering mess.

She was a loud one and very expressive, babbled and cooed to anyone who would listen. "And then what happens after that?" You say laying next to her gently stroking her hair. She kicks her feet with excitement and responds in her usual baby language. "Oh my goodness." You respond. You could do this all day. You hated to admit it but you missed the baby stage so much and you were grateful for your little one. You'd been lounging around all day, only getting up to shower when she had fallen asleep and the occasional time when you needed to grab her bottle.

You pepper her chunky face in kisses and she squeals with happiness. "Que hermosa." You giggle. You two are so wrapped up in your world you don't even hear when the door unlocks and Oscar strolls in, he decides to check in on you since everything at the restaurant was going fine today. He notices the obvious vacancy of your presence downstairs and stumbles into the kitchen thinking you were feeding Rosie but he was wrong. He hears his baby's infamous noises from upstairs and smiles following the sweet noises. He creeps in on you two.

His head lolls to the side and rests on the door frame. He'd seen you like this many times (clearly) and it never got old. The way you lovingly interact with each child at any stage in their life, it was sweet to witness you give the same sweet eyes to Rafa at his big age as you did when he was a baby. Just a gentle reminder that he chose the right woman to marry, the best one to make a mother.

Rosie turns her little head and screams when her eyes land on her father. "Hola, mi corazoncito." He coos entering the room matching the same excitement as his baby which causes her to become even more riled up. He scoops her up and holds her in the air and all you can do is watch and grin like the Cheshire Cat. He brings her down and kisses her cheeks. "Cómo estás, mi mariposa?" He asks Rosie and she nuzzles her forehead in his cheek. Her nonverbal way of saying she missed him. Oscar takes his place next to you on the bed. "How are you, mama?"

You pucker your lips and he smiles dropping a kiss. You pout at how quick it was but quickly subsides when he gives you a forehead kiss. "I'm good. Sleepy. Hungry. Missing you."

"Missed you too, that's why I came home. And I brought some food from work."

You squinted. "Who cooked it?"

He chuckled. "Jason."

"Yes!" You fist pump. "Jason makes the best fucking food I swear."

Oscar's head seems to tilt even more, he's insulted by your statement but you smile sheepishly placing an encouraging hand on his shoulder. "Not as amazing as you do." He rolls his eyes and kisses your temple. Rosie babbles as her little reminder that she's still in the room. "No one forgot you chica" He affirms giving her some more smooches. "Let's go get mommy her food."

You sit up and stretch; some much-needed cracks are heard via your aching bones, and when your arms come down, you feel much looser and less tense than before. "It's okay, iré contigo." (I'll come with you.)

The three of you plop down the stairs and you part ways as Oscar heads to the kitchen while you shuffle to the living room and drop onto the couch, your lounging was short-lived when the doorbell rang. You huff getting back up on your feet. You swing the door open with a mean mug on your face until your eyes land on your mom and your features immediately soften.

"Hi, Mommy." You smile reaching out for her. "Hi sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm great," You pull her inside and close the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugs off her jacket and hangs it up on the rack nearby, her shoes slip off her feet and she places those next to Spooky's on the mat. "Came to visit, figured you'd need some... company..." She trails off and— not so subtly— stretches out her neck to see if she can spot the baby. "Mhm." You say crossing your arms, you call bullshit.

"She's in the kitchen with Spooky."

And just like that, your mother leaves you in her dust. You hear her high-pitched, "Hiiiii GG's babyyyyy, helloooo." And you can't help but smile. Your mom always seemed to become happier with each grandchild you produced.

You begin to feel left out when you hear all the commotion in the kitchen so you decide to join them. Your daughter has your mom's nose in her small fist while your mom blows raspberries in her little tummy, she erupts with laughter and you catch a glimpse of Oscar with nothing but heart eyes for his baby girl. You sneak over to him and slide your arms around his abdomen, he drops his arm over your shoulder and draws you close. He plants a kiss on your head. The microwave beeps behind you signalling that whatever was in there had finished heating up. Your eyes widen when the aroma of cheese hit your senses. "Is that lasagna?"

He nodded. "Yeah. He made a little dish for you, told him you've been craving it lately."

You squeal with excitement as you take the hot dish out of the microwave, you set it on the counter and danced over to the drawers in hot search for a fork, your successful in finding one and greedily stick it inside the soft noodles that were jam packed with delicious ingredients. You take one bite and practically faint at the taste.

"Just needs one more thing." You think out loud, you hustle over to the pantry and grab a bag of barbecue chips, you snag a handful and crack them in your hand, sprinkling them on top. Oscar stands there... confused.

"Girl, what the hell is that?" Your mom asks equally appalled.

You shrug and take another bite. "It's good though." You muffle with a full mouth.

"I love you." Oscar sighs and you laugh at his adoration for anything you do, you blow him a kiss before taking another bite. You don't see it but your mom has her eye on you with a very interesting theory brewing in her head. Your husband's phone rings and he excuses himself to answer it leaving you alone with your mom and Rosie, who is quiet and happy on her grandmother's chest, her little eyes slowly closing with sleep.

You try your best not to make too much noise while you reach for more-

"Are you pregnant again?"

You nearly choke on your saliva at the ridiculous question. You quickly shake your head. "No!? Are you nuts? I just had her and she is the last one." You assure but your mom isn't believing it. "This little concoction says otherwise."

You roll your eyes. "I just... like pasta and chips... together."

It did sound ridiculous.

"Since when?"

"Like... a month ago..."

She sucks her teeth. "Mi amor, I'm telling you, I think you're pregnant."

This was insane, this was an insane conversation to be having. You were one hundred percent sure there was nothing and no one in your belly-- just the mere thought of having two under two was giving you the heebie-jeebies. "I'm just saying-"

You groan like the irritated teenager you once were, "Ay Mama, no más charlas de bebé, por favor." (No more baby talk, please.)

She agrees to ease off the topic but it remains in the back of her mind.

-- --

Later that day after Oscar's gathered the others from school, you sneak out of the house to do some grocery shopping. It was a bit of time for yourself, a time when you didn't have to keep your eye on your tiny little humans. You go through the aisles for the essentials and when that's done you browse for treats and snacks for your kids (that you and Oscar will eventually munch on as well.)

You cautiously approach the next aisle that is stacked with condoms, contraceptives and pregnancy tests. You meant to move, your hands ready to push the cart forward but your feet are firmly planted on the floor. You sigh and turn in, quickly grabbing a box and dumping it in the cart as though it's not for you. "She better be fucking wrong." You mutter to yourself.

-- --

With all kids fed, bathed and in bed before twelve it allows you to have the bathroom to yourself for a while. You wedge the knuckle of your index finger between your two rows of teeth, you stare at the box and sigh. "Please prove her wrong." You whisper to no one in particular. You pop open the box and rip open the wrapping of the test. One original and one digital. You sit on the toilet and do what you've done a hundred times, you pee on the sticks and set them aside until the timer goes off.

You clean yourself up and wash your hands, you know better than to just stand there and watch the sticks waiting for that fate-sealing answer but you go against yourself and stare. You're in a trance until there's a knock at the door, it startled you and you clutch your non-existent pearls for dear life. "Que?"

Oscar asks, "You good? Didn't need company tonight?" He's referring to your commonly shared showers which, now that you think about it, is probably one of the reasons you're in this predicament again!

"No, it's not that. I'm just..."

You huff and unlock the door swinging it open with displeasure on your face, your arms crossed as you nod over to the tests on the counter. His eyes follow your actions and pop out when he sees them. "How-"

"Mom said it was weird that I ate the lasagna like that."

He chuckled. "Didn't want to say anything." 

You whine saying, "It's not funny, I just thought it was a change in my palette or something, I mix random foods all the time. I-" You searched for every excuse you could find. Oscar's face softens at the worry in your voice. "I just had Rosie." You sigh sounding depleted. You turn your back to the tests when you hear that all too familiar sound. You squeeze your eyes shut, if you don't look you won't know the answer and you can go about your merry way. Your husband offers to look for you and leans over. You hear the quietest gasp he's ever uttered and you know. You spin around to look at them yourself.

Positive. Both of them show positive.

You look up at Spooky and he's already looking at you waiting for your reaction so he can curate his own. "How do you feel about it?"

You shrug. You truly didn't know, you didn't even have words. Your throat was dry. You pick up one of them and look at it. And you feel nothing. Empty. Just waiting for a sense of gratitude to come across and for some reason, you can't seem to produce it. You put the test down and leave.

Spooky's still standing there with his heart in the pit of his stomach. Maybe he should've listened to you, that two was enough, and then three and four. He's after you, right on your heels as you enter your bedroom. You sit on the bed and fall back onto the sheets, you cover your eyes and shake your head at yourself and him. "I just had Rosie." You repeat to yourself. And then it happens. A tear slips and as quick as you are to wipe it, he knows you like the back of his hand— your breathing gets choppy and choked, you sniffle. The bed dips beside you and the sound of the sheets ruffling as he lays down.

"Háblame." (Talk to me)

You take a deep breath. You can be honest. "I don't know how I feel. I'm not sad but I'm not happy. I just hoped Rosie would be a little older. They all have good age gaps and- Oh god, what if they don't want another sibling? And Rosie and I spend so much time together, they just got used to her-- Emilia was so clingy when I had her, she felt so left out and-and-"

Oscar presses his hand over your thigh. "Cariño. Respirar. Por favor.

You breathe shakily. "It's okay not to know how to feel. If��this is not what you want... I'm here for you, your moms here... the kids are here. We have more than enough, Sí?"

You nod. He reaches over and pulls you into him, you rest your forehead on his chest while he rubs smooth circles on your back. "We have some time for you to think about it right? It's your world mi amor, we're just living in it. I got you no matter what."

"Spooky."

"Mhm."

"Thank you."

He smiles and kisses your head. "It's my job baby."

— — You'd been hiding your belly from everyone, even the kids. It was easy for the most part because you only wore baggy clothes and they made you look a little large anyway but then there were not so subtle signs— like the heavy breathing from doing just about anything, and your walk? Oh, your walk was not normal no matter how hard you tried. So you decide to come clean to your kids and other close family during a little gathering that Spooky's brother, Cesar, was hosting. Cesar was the only person who knew and you two asked if it'd be okay to announce it tonight.

He was fine with it, excited actually.

Your hands shake. You were cautious in deciding on having this baby, it took you a while to feel anything. At first, it was uncertainty, did you want another? Would you be crushed if you didn't have it?

But as the weeks passed you couldn't help but fall in love with the growth, the bigger you got the giddier you became. Modelling in front of the mirror any chance you got, and when all the kids were asleep you'd talk to your belly and giggle with every shift they made.

"Listo?"  He asks and you nod confidently. Oscar whistles over to Cesar giving him a thumbs up. Cesar turns down the music to gather everyone's attention. "I just want to thank everyone for coming out, it's been a while since we've all been in one place, right?"

The crowd mumbles in agreement. "But it's great to see everyone in good health and good spirits—" He raises his Corona bottle and the crowd follows with their drinks (including the kids and their juice boxes) "Salud." He smiles.

"Salud." The crowd repeats. You clear your throat and enthusiastically say, "Oh let me see if I can get a picture. Everyone gets in."

They shuffle into one pile as best they can, you grab your phone and hold it landscape, you press record and say, "Alright everybody in... great, now saaaay... Y/n and Spooky are having another babyyyy!"

There were collective gasps, the word "what!?" Being thrown around in every language. "Excuse me!?" Your mom hollers. You unbutton your cardigan and turn to the side having worn a tight dress on purpose. "Surpriiiiiise." You sing out.

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Jasmine screams stretching her arms out for you, you gasp and playfully smack her hand. "Not in front of my kids, puta!"

She tells you to shut up and hug her, your mom joins in and soon the children and in that moment it hits how loved and supported you are by everyone around you. This was your village and it was a damn good one too.

Oscar's friends dap him up and congratulate him. They hug you as well and whisper that they hope it's another girl. They loved spoiling your daughters. Anything they asked for the boys were sure to buy it no problema.

"Well, actually," You begin to say. "We know what we're having."

Rafa, your oldest comes up to you. "Is it a boy?" His eyes gloss over with the hope that you would say yes, he'd been hoping that Emilia (your third) was going to be a boy but he lucked out. You had an idea. You hunch over to match his eye level. "You see that cake over there." You whisper and he nods. "Papi and I were going to cut it, but I think you should get the first slice."

He shrugs and you walk him over to the white cream frosted cake. You and Oscar help him hold the knife and carefully slide the blade into the spongey treat making one incision and you help him make another. He pushes the knife under to take the slice out and plops it on his plate, he reaches for a fork when he looks down to see the inside was blue.

Nobody spoke. Nobody moved with the understanding this was his moment. He looks up at you. "You're having a boy!?"

You nod with tears spilling over and ruining your makeup. "I am."

He puts the plate down and hugs you tightly and that's when the crowd goes wild. "Thank you, Mommy." He sobs which makes you cry even more. "Oh, you're welcome sweetie."

— — Nine months had sped past you and it seemed as if it was just yesterday that you found out you were pregnant. Now, you lay on a hospital bed, covered over by a few blankets to help with post-partum shivers, your jaw rattling and fingers dancing involuntarily. But that wasn't your main focus.

Oscar hovered over you staring at the sleeping newborn in your arms. He made the cutest noises while he nuzzled against your chest. Your finger ghosts over his nose and he reacts by moving his head and sighing. "Are you sick of me already, mi hijo?(my son)" You joke nudging him with your nose. "You get used to her." Oscar chimes in and you suck your teeth hitting him as hard as you could. "Cállate culo."(Shut up, ass)

"Hitting me in front of my son?"

"And I'll do it again."

He smiles and leans down to kiss you. "You know I like you a little feisty, mami."

You sigh, so in love with your new baby, in love with your husband— just filled with overpouring affection. You can't stop staring at your new son and your husband couldn't stop gazing at either of you. He'd been in this room over and over and he swore up and down you made it look so easy, that you looked like a goddess bringing new air and life into this world. Even though you thought you looked like a monster from the swamp.

Oscar tells you in a loving tone. "You're doing an amazing job, seriously, you... you're just amazing."

You blink rapidly to keep tears from spilling over. When you met this man he was so rough and tough, such a brute that it seemed impossible to get him to even admit that he liked you, but under all that fake-cold persona, was the gentlest giant and the biggest sweetheart you'd ever met—a man who spreads nothing but positivity around you and your children.

"I'm so happy, I met you." He mutters. You were his wife, the mother of his children and his best friend rolled into one and that's all he wanted out of this life. You look up at him with glossy eyes. "I'm happy I met you too."

You share a kiss as a tear slips out, you just can't hold them back any longer. He kisses your forehead as his thumb swipes over your cheek. Your attention is drawn back to your son when he begins wiggling in your hold, you press your nose against his hair taking a whiff of that fresh baby smell. As you soak in the presence of your child, your husband's phone buzzes against the fabric of the diaper bag, he looks over and your mom's name catches his attention. He looks to you for some sort of permission and your brows furrow together. "It's okay."

He rushes over to answer, and just then your nurse walks in with a smile on her face. "Just came to check on mommy and baby." She announces.

"Ok... yeah, I'll meet you guys downstairs... bye." Oscar hangs up and looks over at you. "Your parents are here, with the kids. I'll just be back okay?"

"Mhm." You hum. He gives you a quick kiss before he speeds out of the room. The nurse smirks as she helps you adjust yourself into a somewhat comfortable sitting position, asking you if you'd like your son to be put back in the bassinet to which you respond yes and she gently takes him. "I apologize if this is forward but... I've seen a lot of couples in here and let me tell you, I've never seen anything like you two. He is so attentive."

You giggle. "Thank you. I just got really lucky with him."

A few minutes had passed and she had finished her check-up letting you know that she'd be back in a bit for another check-in. Once she left that's when your family, quietly, barged in. Oscar approaches you first with a sleeping Rosie in his arms and you happily reach for her and coddle her in your arms. Rafael, Elliana and Emilia gently charged over to you, shuffling off their shoes and finding their places on the bed with you. You greeted them as best as you could, with restricted movement all you could do was reach for their faces. Your parents and Oscar stand in the background of it all observing you in your motherly nature and Oscar can't fight the grin that has been plastered on his face since the day he met you.

"Baby." Emilia chimes in drawing everyone's attention to her now. "Yeah, mira, mommy had the baby."

Rafael seemed enamoured by the presence of his new sibling. He loved his sisters, you knew that, but by the looks of it-- this would be a special bond. "Rafa, would you like to hold him first?" Oscar asks.

He nodded eagerly and readied himself by sitting up straight and folding his arms. Oscar removes your son from his bassinet and carefully places him in Rafa's arms. The baby was a bit squirmy, upset that he'd been disturbed but with the soothing 'shhhh' from his mother's lips he settled down. Your two girls surround their brothers with curiosity.

Emilia giggles. "Hi, cutie."

"He's so tiny," Eliana mutters. Your parents finally make their way over to you after letting you have your moment with the kids. They congratulate you and your dad holds up a Chipotle bag and you beamed. "Thank you, this hospital food sucks." You whisper.

They attempted to take Rosie from you but you assured them it was fine, having missed her snuggles anyway. "Want me to feed you?" Your husband asks and you snicker shaking your head. "Está bien papito, I'll eat when I'm ready. But thank you."

— — After all the kids had their turn holding the baby their attention spans had turned to you and their father, telling you everything that had happened since you left the house.

"And then Ellie licked the cookie and put it back in my bowl," Rafa whines and you hold back a laugh. "Eliana you do not do that, that's gross."

She shrugs and nuzzles closer to her grandfather on the couch who is causing a ruckus with all his snoring. Your mom nudges him awake and he hits his famous line, "I'm not sleeping, I just closed my eyes."

"Think it's time for us to go." Your mom says. "Um.." Rafa chimes. "Is it okay if I stay?"

"I- yeah, I guess so." You answer. Oscar says that you'll keep Rosie since she has now found a new sleep space in his arms. Your mom carries a sleeping Emilia and your dad carries Eliana on his back. They say their goodbyes and are out the door.

— —

The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Rafael had fallen asleep on the couch while Rosie, who'd only woken up to ear and fell back into slumber, lay under her older brother's arm. You sigh contently as you gaze at them.

"Did you ever think when we met at that laundromat, that we'd be here?" Oscar mumbled as he held your baby boy, tracing his finger along his little nose. You turn to him. You shrug.

"Maybe with one kid... two.... But not five." You joked. He chuckled.

"Did you?"

He nods. "I knew you were gonna be my girl from the moment I picked up that sexy red bra you dropped-"

"Spookyyyy." You gasped gently hitting his arm.

He laughs. "Que? Man, once I saw those cups I started barking."

"You are so fucking stupid."

He shrugs. "I know. But I'm stupid in love with you."

You playfully rolled your eyes at his corny, yet sweet, line.

"I'm stupid in love with you too."

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic. comments and reblogs are appreciated. hopefully, I'll be back a whole lot sooner. peace and love

tags: @darqchilddaydreamz @realhotgurlshit @skyesthebomb @librarian1002

Who might be interested: @miyahmaraj @bigenergy777 @educatorsareslutstoo @missdforever

[voidspiraling]

What do you think about the Red pupils in alien stage? Because when I first see them I think it’s just an Ivan trait, but in a few shots, Till has them too. Specifically when it’s related to Ivan. I would think it’s stress because of the fact he was stressed when Luka was manipulating him, but there’s also the Metor shower scene where he’s the happiest we’ve seen him at. Also! Thoughts on the comic where Till says “Because of you Mizi won’t play with me anymore?” And Ivan says that it wasn’t Mizi playing with him it was him? Like, what do you think that comic could mean on both their relationship + how Till loves Mizi? Cuz I think it’s interesting that he’s in love with her because of her smile and her presence but mistakes Ivan for her

Hiiii Srry for the late reply I had finals weeks and was dying. Thank you so much for your ask I’m happy to talk abt red pupils and the comic!

Red eyes are super interesting in IvanTill.

This is the first shot from R3 we get of baby Ivan, and his eyes naturally have the red dot in them. Usually they’re a darker color so his eyes look black most of the time.

So I disagree with the theory that the aliens experimented on Ivan’s eyes to turn them red. His eyes have always been red, you just don’t notice it unless you boost the saturation and contrast. Or have super strong eyes ig. HOWEVER.

Ivan’s eyes get redder when he feels strong emotions. This is the comic showing his final thoughts, here he is likely feeling jealous that Sua was able to be in a mutually requited love with Mizi. It’s almost like his entire world is turned upside down. What do you mean the girl who is so similar to me is able to find happiness? Why couldn’t I? Why is she so happy and I’m so miserable when we’re both the same? So we can associate bright red eyes with intense feelings. Just like how the color bright red can mean intense love but also extreme danger. Now let’s talk about when Till’s eyes are red.

The first time in canon is the infamous meteor shower scene. It’s one of the happiest times we see him. In this moment I think the red pupils represent the happiness and love he feels for Ivan. I’ve talked abt the red sky before but I’ll briefly say that this bright sky is a pivotal moment in both of their lives. It’s where their love was almost fully realized (in my delusional eyes) before being ripped to pieces. Remember red means love but it also means danger. So when Till’s eyes are red it means he’s feeling an intense emotion related to Ivan, bc Ivan naturally has red eyes. In this scene it’s probably love that he is feeling intensely.

Now let’s look at R6 Till, his eyes are red here too but it’s not out of happiness but of heartbreak. I wanted to talk abt this later so I’ll keep this short. But isn’t it strange that Till was so defeated after Mizi disappeared. She wasn’t even confirmed dead but he was already at his lowest. I think the real reason he stopped singing wasn’t just bc he was sad abt Mizi, but bc he didn’t want to win against Ivan. Losing his idol made him realize that the only person he has left is Ivan. It’s like a reality check for him. (Honestly if Mizi somehow won R5 I feel like he’d still throw the match but I’ll explain my delusions separately.) Anyways in this moment right before Ivan kisses him, he is probably shocked at seeing Ivan. Remember Till doesn’t realize that Ivan loves him, he probably attributes Ivan’s weirdness around him as something he does out of hate rather than him trying to get the attention of his crush. So seeing him also throw the mic away and stand so close to him was surprising but also comforting in a sense. At least the last face he sees will be Ivan.

Now onto R7, this is I think the brightest red we see in Till’s eyes. I think this is bc his world just ended hours ago (however long the time between rounds is idk rlly all I know is that R6 and R7 happened the same day.) All the ppl he grew up with died, he doesn’t know what happened to Mizi, and he’s up against the Ruler of the Stage. But here his eyes are red when Luka impersonates Ivan. Again his red eyes likely represent the deep heartbreak and sadness he feels about Ivan. After Ivan’s sacrifice and kiss Till has to re-contextualize everything Ivan has done. I think also it forced him to confront the red sky that haunted him (ie: missed chance at freedom, finding happiness with Ivan) there was a lot of red scenes and red lights during R7 that reinforces this idea.

Overall red eyes are Ivan’s signature, but it’s easy to miss bc it blends with the black of his eyes. Ivan also wears a lot of black you can barely see any red on him. But Till who cares a lot more abt Ivan than he’s willing to admit, notices the red in his eyes. So when Till’s eyes turn red it means what he’s feeling is connected is related to Ivan. We don’t see Till’s turn red when thinking abt Mizi.

There is one exception however.

It’s in R2. Now this could just be thematic, Till just killed an alien living in his guitar. HOWEVER let’s pretend it’s more than that. Red eyes represent Ivan bc he naturally has red pupils. BUT the color red represents Till. He’s got bright red pants, dark red gloves, blood red on his pants and he’s seen cherishing and holding red flowers.

Methinks Red is Till’s signature color bc Till likes the color of Ivan’s eyes. (And if you think abt it pink is just a lighter shade of red hehehe…)

To answer your question red eyes are an Ivan thing bc he was born with red eyes. But red eyes on Till means he’s looking at Ivan meaningfully, acknowledging his own feelings for Ivan it could be positive feelings or negative feelings. But considering that Till’s eyes turned red from being depressed over Ivan, I think Till has mostly positive feelings for Ivan.

Now part 2!

This comic is basically Till threatening (failing to threaten rlly I mean look at Ivan’s face XD) to punch Ivan in the bathroom bc he believes Ivan was somehow the reason Mizi wouldn’t play with him. You can find the translation on Twitter by @WhataFruit.

Ivan’s response was basically what the hell are you on Mizi never played with you in the first place. Then the small text is him saying I was the one who played with you.

On Till’s side the real reason Mizi doesn’t play with Till, is bc she thinks Till doesn’t like her. She likes how artistic he is, and thinks his piercings suit him. But she sees him awkward and uncomfortable around her and assumes it’s bc he doesn’t like her. She wants to be friends with Till but due to Till’s avoidant tendencies they’re not close.

He blames Ivan for this bc he doesn’t have anyone else to blame. He’s May not even be aware that he’s avoiding ppl like this. Ivan was just a jerk to him anyways so it’s easy to blame him if something he doesn’t like happens to him. This is the kid that steals his pencils it wouldn’t be too surprising if Ivan said something weird abt Till to Mizi.

Another thing is that he talks abt Ivan wanting revenge for hitting them when they were younger. This could be bc Till likely feels guilty abt hitting Ivan. When they grow older, yeah Till still gets pissed at Ivan, but he doesn’t hit him anymore. In fact he tries to ignore him like in the R6 flashback when Ivan pulls at his wound on his cheek. It’s like when you tell a little girl to stop reacting when a boy is mean to her bc he likes her (not that it ever stops the boy from being abusive but whatever). So I think this is how Till sees Ivan’s feelings towards him. He’s doing weird stuff cuz he’s mad at me/hates me for hitting him when we were younger. It could also be he feels guilty for throwing away his only chance at freedom with Ivan. Cuz it wasn’t just his freedom he gave up it was also Ivan’s freedom that was lost. It wasn’t Till’s responsibility or anything I’m not blaming him for Ivan’s choices. But as a result of Till’s actions both him and Ivan are trapped as pets again. Till blaming himself for Ivan coming back could be why he thinks Ivan only has negative feelings for him. And why he doesn’t attack Ivan after Ivan provoked him, he probably thinks he deserves Ivan tormenting him.

Now let’s talk abt Ivan’s response. He’s blunt as always with no tact when he says Mizi never played with you in the first place. But the smaller text is him saying I’m the one who plays with you.

From this the smaller text makes me think abt how Ivan is only truly honest when Till isn’t awake or looking at him.

In R6 Ivan is showing comfort and care to Till after he had been forced to sing for the aliens (idk if that scene has actual SA or if they just drugged him and hit him but regardless Till is suffering here). There is no way to misconstrue Ivan’s action as anything but care here. He unlocks Till’s collar and nuzzles his gently the way Till nuzzles flowers. He could’ve kissed Till here, could’ve unbuttoned his shirt or pinch his face etc. But the only thing he does is gently comfort Till.

I think this shows how Ivan wants to be kind and cherish Till. But something holds him back from doing it when Till can receive that care properly. It doesn’t matter how much you love give someone if the other person never receives it in a way they understand. It’s probably bc for Ivan who has been treated as a product/investment he doesn’t have a lot of self-worth. He’s so used to just fulfilling everyone’s expectations of him that he lost his individuality. Loving Till doesn’t fit inside everyone’s expectations of him, not even Till’s. So he only does what he wants when no one is aware of it, when he’s by himself. In the student interview he allots a lot of time for “private time” this could be bc that’s the only reprieve he gets from constantly acting like the perfect pet for the aliens. And with the low self worth and calling his feelings “shallow” he like Till also believes he’s not worthy of affection.

He acts like a jerk to Till partly out of immaturity, anger at Till for not leaving with him and bc if he acts like this he can maximize the time he spent with Till. If he acted like Mizi, gentle and kind, he assumes Till would run away like he does with Mizi. Remember Till grew up being taken away from his mom and being abused by Urak. As a defense mechanism he assumes that violence is normal and avoids the unknown kindness others have for him. As an avoidant person myself, when you’re not used to ppl being unconditional kind, it is VERY uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough that we shy away from it. So that’s why Ivan fulfills Till’s expectation of him being a jerk when he’s awake. But when Till isn’t looking at him or when Ivan’s abt to die he shows pure love towards Till.

Look at the face, that’s the look of someone in love. And one of the few times we see him wearing a collar. It’s bright green when looking at Till, Ivan you have so much affection how can you call it shallow 🥲 How many ppl could give up their chance at freedom just for the person they love? (This is why I can’t get behind ppl who think Ivan would cage Till or trap him by his side. Ivan literally respected Till’s choice not to leave their hell and even stayed with him and loved him the entire time they were together ;-;)

Also abt the last part I’m unclear where exactly Till mistook Ivan for Mizi? From my understanding I see Till loving Mizi as a performance and I think Vivinos said Till saw Mizi as an idol. Like how most ppl love idols, we only love the fantasy version we come up with of them. Very rarely do we see the messy human side to them. And even tho we may obsess over them and feel intense love for our fav idol. Eventually we turn off the screen and go through with our day. That’s how I see Till loving Mizi.

I mean whenever Ivan is watching Till, Till is mostly drawing, practicing/composing music or just by himself. There’s not really a scene of Ivan watching Till look at Mizi. It could just be that bc it’s Ivan’s pov we only see Till and no one else. But we also know that Ivan has spent a lot of time with Till in the garden, he’s our only insight into what Till is actually like. So I think Till loves Mizi from afar bc he unconsciously doesn’t want to actually get to know her and ruin his image of her. Even after seeing her attack Luka in R5 he still hallucinates her as a gentle almost angelic figure.

I mean I think Till has always loved Ivan but that’s just bc I’m delusional lol.

Anyways thank you so much for the ask! Sorry for the lateness and the nonsensical yapping. My brain is kinda fried rn from all the tests but I might come back and re-analyze the comic.

[yumeparadox]

Grand Fest Recollections. Thank You For Two Years!

My heart feels so heavy today. As I woke up to see a sunrise that matched the one we finally have in Splatoon 3, reality settled in.

Life has to go back to normal after a splatfest weekend but this celebration truly changed everything.

The Grand Festival was such a wonderful celebration of Splatoon in its entirety. 

I felt the most unbridled joy experiencing that magic brought to the in-game performances, the live renditions of each song in carefully crafted set-lists and seeing Liquid Sunshine choreography and its vibrancy for the first time.

On and off stream the three stages are where I spent the most time during Grand Fest when I could. I sat around the venue and just took in the details of the concerts and the setting; enjoying that moment in time was how I kept myself grounded.

But I think what had me start to unravel is realizing that I let the actual splatfest battle experience slip away.

I’d seen a Twitter comment on Sunday while I was taking pictures of Three Wishes that mentioned again how we would be able to return to the venue because of a datamine (granted I knew of this from months ago) about the amiibos.

I had no idea when the feature would drop and when we would be able to revisit the Grand Festival Grounds again. It could have been a week from now for all I knew. 

We got the confirmation almost instantaneously. I was overjoyed to be able to go right back but I also felt a little ridiculous for not playing the fest more if this would be the case.

I want to give a massive thank you to everyone who did play matches with me for Team Present though—especially my homies @Chandlier1229, @mxntymoon, @semisentientseafood, @epicyoshimaster and @kosirenn

Big ups to @CJHyperfresh and @Jasbiskus for inviting myself and my partner @squidryder to collab on an amazing stream. It was an unforgettable time and we had so many laughs.

Thank you Ryder for joining me in Tricolor and reacting to the results! You make me smile so much and your presence is a present.

Emotions were high throughout this whole event for a lot of us but personally, I wasn’t able to fully process it until things were ending.

I know I got overwhelmed with the vastness of everything and other more existential thoughts. So, I can only imagine what developing all of this was like.

Admittedly, I felt my reaction to Three Wishes was lackluster. The whole reason I went for an IRL stream was in case I didn’t say much and so that some emotion was visible. 

I cried the first time I heard the song and saw the lyrics but the tears weren’t happening that Saturday.

Granted, there’s a lot happening the first time you experience Three Wishes in-game, but the way the VOD turned out is something I can’t change much like my splatfest team.

While I had my reasoning for joining Team Present, perhaps I was too logical about it. Although that’s what the theme asks of you, I can’t help but lament on this a little bit. I want to work through this feeling.

I went in thinking that the present is where I can experience all of time. It’s a difficult concept and a part of me wishes I had treated it differently. Seeing clips from people playing the splatfest also got me in my feels, too. I wonder if I did enough.

As someone who chose Team Marie and fawns over her the most (Frye is probably a close second at this point), I thought about joining Past simply because she was fighting alongside Callie this time. 

The Squid Sisters had the most compelling splatfest art by far for the event and I know their Grand Fest outfits were my favorite. 

Their music saved me from the moment I played my first Splatoon 1 splatfest. I cried over the Plaza, over seeing them back in the DLC, over hearing City of Color leitmotifs to this day.

The Rainbow Color Inkantation version of it has so much urgency and emotion in the vocals, as if they’re urging you to remember them and fight for the past.

That’s not to say Off the Hook isn’t also meaningful to me, however. They are the reason I was able to pursue voice acting as a hobby in the first place, starting out with voicing over their splatfest dialogue. 

And of course, we all know their formation is still so closely linked to the Squid Sisters existing. Anyone who watches my streams can tell which group I go crazy over the most but choosing in terms of the passage of time may not let your choices align and check both boxes. I agonized over teams for a while.

Ultimately, I stuck to the question as best I could. 

Which is the most important to you?

Experiencing the now. Finally reaching that promised day. 

My memories are never super clear for me unless I preserve them in some form of writing, video or photo. Skill issue on my part but all brains are different. 

So, I repeated this a lot that fateful weekend: the present moment will always become the past so make it count. Choosing one doesn’t mean the other isn’t important but again it was truly difficult.

My past self got me where I am now and every decision I make in the present sets me up for success in the future. 

I grew up hearing that we don’t know what tomorrow looks like and you can’t obsess over it. Although, when you have good things to look forward to you can’t help but anticipate how they’ll play out. 

Past, present and future are intertwined and if you look at the splatfest theme graphic, you’ll see that all the ink swirls connect despite being different colors.

I think that’s why they called the second night of the Grand Festival the Day of Unity. We were all together to witness that performance regardless of team choice.

Music will always be the core of Splatoon and it will carry on across the sea of time, imbued by our passions and joys.

Good games, well played to everyone! I’m really grateful to have been here and seen every splatfest from the beginning this time around. Splatoon has been with me through every season of my life and it's ink-redible.

I have so much appreciation for everyone who stopped by the streams over the weekend. Doubly so for those who shared messages about when they first found my videos and the impact they’ve had.

I’m glad my enjoyment of Splatoon could resonate with you and go so far as to brighten your day.

We reached 3K followers on Twitch (another yearly milestone) with everyone’s support and I met so many new people. To those who know me from my videos only, I hope you’ll stick around for the ride.

Looking back, I started broadcasting there in late 2022 so I’ve streamed every Splatoon 3 splatfest since the World Premiere (aside from the ice cream theme since I was visiting family).

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts this weekend. It had been a rough few weeks leading up to Grand Fest, so, once again I’m glad I could be there in any capacity.

Thank you Splatoon team for everything you’ve created and I hope we can continue to show just how much this series means to us. It’s time for me to finish up some projects from the past.

This is my first post on this side blog but I plan on sharing more of my writings here so please look forward to it!

Sending you all so much love and strength, Yume 

[thetoxicgamer]

Street Fighter 6 World Tour is basically Yakuza yet somehow sillier

Midway through my Street Fighter 6 preview session, a funny thing happened. According to what I've been told, owners of the PlayStation 5 and PlayStation 4 will be able to experience what I did in World Tour two days after I did. Of course, this means that you might already be familiar with every step of character creation, the details of the first few battles, and Metro City's take on Times Square. I have, however, witnessed the magnificent nonsense that lies beyond. But I’m getting ahead of myself. After all, the most anticipated fighting game of the year has many modes on offer, and I got to see significantly beyond the demo, which will be available on Steam by the time you read this preview. First off, when the Street Fighter 6 release date rolls around, it will launch with a bonafide arcade mode, with stylish illustrations bookending each character’s journey. You can choose between a short or default-length campaign, with the usual 1v1 bouts against a computer-controlled opponent. Unfortunately, I didn’t complete the arcade mode, as progress halts in the preview build after a bonus stage, where I repeatedly kicked a semi-truck until it exploded. Still, its presence is welcome after Street Fighter 5 ommitted the popular single-player mode. Street Fighter 6 World Tour preview - Chun-Li has just been hit in the face by a giant ball that Guile, who is crouched down, flung into her. They are fighting aboard a military cruiser.While you’ll now have access to one of Extreme Mode’s rules and gimmicks, namely Down & Out and Bull Stampede, you’ll only have seen snippets of the rest. These rules either affect the win condition or, in one case, what moves you can perform. These are a blast to play when combined with gimmicks such as Mecha Fiend, which sees Mets from the Mega Man series join your side and fire pellets at your opponent. I also got to play around with the combo trials as Cammy and the character guide as JP. Combo trials are nothing new, though there are more than you’d probably expect per character. The difficulty of these trials ramps up nicely, teaching you combos you would use in an online match. Character guides do a great job of introducing the Street Fighter 6 roster, as they explain far more than just what super moves do. For example, JP’s guide describes him as a character that excels at keeping foes at a distance, otherwise known as a ‘zoner’ to fighting game enthusiasts. However, it never uses jargon, instead opting to demonstrate how each move works and when to use it. It even allows you to take control at any time to practice. I wish it were more explicit when there’s a new interaction for you to try out, as some prompts have the same inputs, but it’s otherwise a fantastic teacher of the basics. A muscular man being created in Street Fighter 6 World Tour preview.All of this couldn’t prepare me for what was to come – the main event: World Tour. After creating one of apparently many monstrosities birthed throughout the day, my would-be prodigy was let loose onto the streets of Metro City. Most NPCs here have levels next to their name; if that’s the case, they are up for a fight. Of course, I could just opt to win the bout and gain experience, but achieving objectives rewards you with extra Zenny to buy health-boosting meals from the pizza stand or equipable gear from the shop. All that’s on offer at first is a garishly pink cap, but my options soon expand. This immediately brought to mind the ProZD sketch about “ass-kicking outfits”. So what do I think about Street Fighter 6’s World Tour? Honestly, from what I’ve seen so far, it’s ridiculous in all the right ways. I would say that it’s similar to the Yakuza games but with the casual violence and item-hunting gameplay from Mortal Kombat: Deception’s Konquest mode. You can, for example, punch any NPC with a level to start a fight, slicing off a chunk of their health bar in the process. Is the chaos fun? Indeed it is. Does it create some odd scenarios? Yes again, especially so when I clock a cop with my foot and their nearby colleagues remain entirely unfazed. Along the way to visit Chun-Li, I see a ladder to the left, and curiosity gets the better of me. Climbing up, I find not only a few healing items and a permanent upgrade but also a level 27 NPC who looks like a superhero, complete with spandex. He asked me about destiny and how I could lead a better life. So, I respond to his preachiness by giving him a swift uppercut to his perfectly chiselled jawline. A created character is being attacked by five Mad Gear goons wearing boxes on their heads in Street Fighter 6 World Tour preview.This is the point where I discover that, with enough skill, I can take down an opponent many levels higher than me. The main trick is to look for when they shine brightly, as this highlights when they’re in a counterable state that leaves them vulnerable to follow-up combos. Wailing on this so-called crime fighter was simple, but he hits much harder thanks to the level difference, so it was a bit nerve-wracking. Continuing through the game as intended, I find Chun-Li and quickly adopt her fighting style. With every level up, I can choose new skills, with completed skill tree brackets unlocking a new set of perks which primarily affect your regular stats. On top of this, I can assign moves from different fighter styles, such as Luke’s Flash Knuckle, even though I’m using Chun-Li’s basic actions. I also get a present partway through the following chapter, which I can use to increase my relationship with fighters, thus improving the mastery of their style and unlocking new moves to buy. I can imagine saving on these until I find a fighter whose style clicks with me, but I find the incentive of opening up new special moves to buy is a good compromise if I’m not a big fan of a fighter’s regular moves. It’s the fights against significantly more formidable foes that stand out most. Much later on, I biffed a construction worker in the chops. It turns out that the gimmick fights from Extreme battle mode make their way into World Tour, too, so there were falling girders adding to the chaos as I tried not to get wiped out by a knife-wielding level 28 foreman. Incidentally, this NPC is also one of the minigame vendors, of which I discovered a few, ranging from crushing the arcade mode truck to making pizzas by quickly punching in buttons. Not everyone waits for you to bop them on the snoot, as plenty of NPCs will come right for you. They’re typically Mad Gear goons wearing boxes on their heads, but I’ve also had to fight weaponised Roombas and drones. While you can fight more than one fighter at once, similar to Dramatic Battle modes from Street Fighter Alpha 3, there is a limit to the number on screen at once. That said, there doesn’t seem to be a limit to how many reinforcements can jump in afterwards, making for some tense fights at nighttime when more enemies are present. The other thing I enjoyed a lot, outside of being able to use Chun-Li’s spinning bird kick to cross between rooftops, was just how many references I saw to Capcom’s history. In Metro City plaza alone, there’s a fire juggler wearing the same outfit as the Molotov cocktail-throwing enemies from Final Fight, a ‘walk of fame’ listing forgotten Capcom fighting games from the past including Dreamcast 3D fighter Plasma Sword, and billboards advertising ‘Hakan Special extra virgin olive oil’ – a reference to Street Fighter 4’s oil wrestler of the same name. There are plenty more spread liberally throughout the game, and I did have to pause regularly to work them out. All of this is to say that Street Fighter 6’s World Tour is at its best when it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and luckily that is most of the time. It clearly wants to cater not just to those who haven’t played a fighting game in a while but also to veterans who love Capcom’s back catalogue and silly nonsense. In my preview, I couldn’t leave the confines of Metro City, but I can imagine the other locales filled with wild fights. Who knows, perhaps Zangief’s training montage is just him wrestling a whole family of grizzly bears. Read the full article

[newronantic]

HAIKYUU!! FICS

so this is mostly gonna be for myself to keep track of my favorite fics i’ve read, but hey if anyone else wants to check some of these out then thats great

MHA one is up!!

ill keep updating this as i read more, feel free to send me suggestions!

KageHina

plain as day - emleewrites

In which Hinata has spent the better part of the last twenty years putting his heart and soul into volleyball, hoping to be recognised, to be noticed. And yet he spends all these years also thinking of himself as rather plain, beyond his lack of height and bright hair, and not really noticeable at all.

In Transit - Mysecretfanmoments

Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn't mean anything--probably. Maybe.

I like the way your clothes smell - Mysecretfanmoments

Power outages, ghost stories, and the presence of a certain orange-haired boy lead to bad decision-making on Tobio's part. He'd planned to keep his crush a secret; the universe has other plans.

Chaotic Neutral - akaraka

Who's this Kageyama person on twitter and is he gay?

1: Anonymous: see title

2: Anonymous: curry king

3: Anonymous >> 1: It's the curry king, obviously. Have you been using his memes this whole time without knowing who he was?

4: Anonymous: 1) Hinata Shouyou's boyfriend 2) See above

jellyfish - mysterytwin

At the beginning of his last year at Karasuno High School, Hinata Shouyou starts a list and calls it THINGS TO DO BEFORE GRADUATION, all with high hopes that he’ll be able to complete it before his time runs out.

TsukkiYama

Try This On For Size - CloudMonsta

A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.

The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - WyYeuw

"But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.

No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.”

Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.

IwaOi

Terrarium - sausaged

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

They Say it Rain Diamonds on Jupiter - exsao

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

bait and switch - Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody

Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.

my heart is where it’s always been - foreverautumn

Iwaizumi places his phone down carefully.

Oikawa. Pining after someone. There’s no way.

(Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t care who Oikawa might have feelings for, but within the span of three days, it’s somehow the only thing he can think about.)

KuroKen

Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life - todxrxki

Kuroo Tetsurou runs a private Twitter account where he's constantly tweeting about how desperately in love he is with Kozume Kenma. Little does he know that Kenma sees all the tweets and keeps referencing the account in an attempt to get Kuroo to confess to him. / Or, five times Kuroo didn't notice Kenma hinting about his private Twitter account, and one time he finally did.

the things that get caught in the valves of his heart - ghostpot

Emotional competency is not exactly Kuroo's strong suit. Kenma finds it quite amusing.

Accidentally In Love - todxrxki

Kuroo frowns, but then slowly, the corners of his mouth lift up into a smirk. "Well, if it's so unbelievable, why don't we give it a try?"

Kenma glances up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Let's do the 36 questions to fall in love," Kuroo says, still smirking stupidly. "If we don't fall in love, then you're right, it's bullshit. But if we do somehow..." Kuroo waggles his eyebrows. "Then I win." / Kuroo decides he and Kenma should do the 36 questions to fall in love as a joke, but they both start to realize they might actually be in love already.

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) - cosmogony

TW: major character death

Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives

even if you’re ahead for a bit, i will catch up - ghostpot

Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.

you’re the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) - ghostpot

Kenma thinks that Kuroo looks ugly with his head bent against the arm of the couch like that. Then Kenma thinks that he wants to marry him, and is promptly thrown into the 5 stages of grief.

teach me the way home - icespyders

“Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —

because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long

and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station

when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”

Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.

in this universe - crossbelladonna

Living with Kuroo is sometimes, just like this. It always feels surreal like he's living half a world and a lot of things rush by too quickly. Kenma feels like he'd watched him come and go in a blink, eyes wide and wordless as the shared space went snug in an instant and far larger in the next.

All this, and a glass of water.

Beginning’s End - todxrxki

Somehow over the course of Kenma's lifetime, he’s never really had an opportunity to miss Kuroo. He’s always been there. Even when they went to different schools, Kuroo would meet him afterwards so they could walk home together, shoulders brushing, Kuroo occasionally taking the opportunity to guide him when his nose was buried in the newest video game. The thought of Kuroo not being there anymore is uncomfortable, to say the least. / Kozume Kenma's third year and the changes the year brings in himself and his relationship with Kuroo Tetsurou.

All I Want for Christmas is You - todxrxki

“Kuro,” he says. “You’re a single guy.”

“Yeah, great, thanks for pointing that out.”

“And my parents already know you, plus they already know you like guys or whatever so… what if you pretended to be my date for Christmas dinner?” / In which Kenma recruits his housemate and best friend Kuroo to be his fake date for Christmas.

BokuAka

just to miss the sun - rosevtea

Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

Operation BokuAka - kazzydolyn

After spending two whole years watching Bokuto and Akaashi pine for one another, the rest of the Fukuroudani Volleyball Club has had enough. When everyone meets up for a reunion dinner, the team decides to play matchmaker and finally get the two of them together. Unfortunately, their plan starts to fall apart when they discover that Akaashi is already dating someone. And apparently so is Bokuto. What a strange coincidence.

bitter - silvercistern

He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.

Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.

And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.

In Another Life - LittleLuxray

TW: major character death

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

120% yes - pissedofsandwich

TOKYO FRANCHISE COMING SOON @OnigiriMiya

in reply to @bokkun_official 

Congratulations! In celebration of your historic engagement, please DM us so we can send you a free membership code with a 25% discount on every fourth purchase!

Kissing Ace - karasunovolleygays

It happens right after training camp.

Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way.

But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.

daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) - gabstar

Akaashi Keiji is in love. Bokuto Koutarou is a star. Everyone on Fukurodani has a gambling problem.

SakuAtsu

The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets - isaksara (syailendra)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

A Liar’s Truth - internetpistol

In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?

[junisfics]

All This Time — Armin Arlert (4)

series masterlist

Pairing: Armin Arlert x Reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Series Summary: Reader messages her best friend Armin late one night while she's drunk and needy, but will she remember the things she said to him in the morning, and if she does... will she regret it?

Party Summary: The morning after causes a temporary scare, but once Armin realizes he actually has you… he refuses to stay away

Content: Fluff, Smut / Nsfw 18 +

Content Warnings: Unprotected Sex, Very Slight Choking, Creampie (No Breeding)

You awake with an arm wrapped around your waist, and it’s not yours. It’s Armin’s, and this time you know it’s his, you know that body that’s pressed up against your back and you know the legs that are intertwined with yours.

He’s warm against you, and there’s an overwhelming feeling that washes over you that you can only describe as content.

You could hear him softly breathing, his face nestled into the back crook of your neck. His left arm is draped over your waist and snaked under your shirt so his palm rests against your stomach. His other arm must be curled up between the two of you because it’s nowhere in your sight. 

You don’t feel the need to move for quite some time, just laying with him with your eyes closed and face nuzzling into the pillow. You feel his chest rise and fall steadily behind you, and you try and match your breaths to his. But Armin’s are too slow, too even, and you can’t do it.

You savor his warmth and his touch for a while longer before growing apt for food and water. So, when the sun just begins to set down the horizon, you slip out of his arms, out of your bed, and bring yourself to the floor and towards the kitchen.

You estimate that the two of you laid there for at least a few hours given the sight of dusk. Armin came over in the early afternoon and depending on how long… that… lasted determines how long the two of you slept. 

You try your best to remain quiet as you shuffle about the kitchen, getting yourself a glass of water and opening the pantry for cleaning supplies to attempt to clean the mess of baking goods you had spilled about the floor earlier.

You smile at the domesticity of the whole thing. Armin’s been in your home before, he’s been in your room before and he’s had dinner with you before; but it was all different now. It felt better like this, him sleeping in your bed as a lover as you clean the kitchen.

Armin felt like home, is what you realize. That him being here, was him fitting himself in as the final piece of the puzzle. His little puzzle piece was always there, it was always existent, but somehow it had found itself lost under the table and tucked away in a corner. You’d been the one to drop it, but Armin had been the one who had placed himself in a place where he’d be unable to find.

But you found Armin’s little puzzle piece, and you slipped him right into the spot where he was missing. And you were finally able to see the bigger picture: that he always belonged there, and that no matter how many other pieces you tried, they wouldn’t be able to fill the spot as he does.

Armin awoke alone in your bed, and it took him a few moments to realize it was so. And as he was blinking his eyes open and processing why he was in your bed, he realized that he was the sole being in it. His heart sunk upon recognition, all the way into his stomach, and he was temporarily panicked in thinking that you’ve left him once again.

His spirits perk up a little when he hears faint clattering around from outside your room. So, Armin slides out from beneath your sheets and makes his way over to your bedroom door to peek out of the crack in it.

He can’t see much, but he can see you traveling in and out of his frame of vision. You seemed to be gathering things, followed by putting things away, and ever so often he could hear the running water of the sink.

Armin pulls back the door to leave your room, trying to remain quiet to prevent himself from scaring you. Once he steps out, he can make out what you’re truly doing. You’re cleaning your mess from earlier; the floor already seems to have been wiped clean of any sugar or flour residue, and you were continuing to file away jars while keeping others out. You had also pulled out a new bowl.

You were trying again.

Armin smiles to himself as he quietly makes his way over to you. You nimbly moved things around, so focused and precise with what you were doing. You slinked around the kitchen so skillfully that Armin could almost chuckle at the contrast it was compared to yesterday when you were stumbling around.

His heart pitter-patter’s around in his chest when he realizes you’re still wearing what he gave you earlier: his computer sciences club tee-shirt from highschool and cute little maroon panties that hugged the curves of your backside so well.

That was his now… you were his.

And, yes, it was partially the fact that you were prancing around half-dressed that got him hard again, but more so was the fact that you were doing so as his. His girl was comfortable enough to be walking around half-naked in her kitchen while he was home with her.

You didn’t kick him out this time, you didn’t change into something more presentable, because there wasn’t anything to be worried about. He didn’t put a shirt on because there was nothing for him to be worried about.

There was no awkward stage between the two of you. You’ve known each other and have loved each other for as long as either of you could remember, the only difference now was the fact that you’ve revealed it.

You were comfortable enough in this intimacy to be willing to be physically vulnerable with him. And Armin couldn’t get enough of it.

“What are you making?” He asks, making his presence known to you.

You turn to look up at him, keeping your hands on the silver bowl in front of you. You give him a sweet smile, looking down at the task at hand before looking back up.

“Dessert,” You shy away from him, turning back down to the bowl.

“Same thing as yesterday?” He asks, stepping to the other side of the kitchen island from you. 

He watches you intently, looking at the way your fingers curl around the side of the bowl and the wooden spoon. He looks over the array of baking goods you’ve kept out and pulled together, then he looks at your face; your tongue between your teeth as your stir.

“Maybe,” You let out a little laugh, feeling heat come to your face.

You were both standing in front of each other, making a cake, half-dressed, after you had just woken up from a post-fuck nap. You were smiling like an idiot, Armin’s face turning pink, as you both ignore the obvious flirtatious tension that’s beginning to form.

“I could have helped you clean up your mess, you know. It’s why I came over in the first place.” He says, occupying himself by straightening out the jars into a line.

You nod, “I know, but… I created the mess, so I should’ve been the one to fix it.”

Armin knows you aren’t just talking about baking, you’re referencing earlier. He can tell you feel bad about it, but he doesn’t need to hear an apology from you again, he never needed an apology in the first place.

“Okay,” He says softly, giving you a sympathetic smile and ending the conversation there. 

He doesn’t want to argue with you anymore, even if it’s not even arguing, he truly doesn’t want to dwell on things that are already solved. He knows that you know how he feels, and he knows how you feel, and he doesn’t feel the need to talk about it anymore if both of you know the truth.

You’re a team now.

“Do you want to help me with this instead?” You ask, looking up from the bowl and across the island to him.

He nods without verbally answering you, his eyes and face soften and you can see the muscles in his chest relax as well. His cheeks and neck are still flushed a pretty pink, and his body’s warm as he makes his way around the counter and beside you. He takes the spoon in his right hand, his bare chest pressing against the right side of your back as he reaches around you.

You can feel his head hovering above your right shoulder, his cheek just barely pressing against your temple. And although his whole body isn’t pressed against you, you can feel the presence of it behind you. 

Armin Arlert was flirting with you, and you were loving every second of it. 

Who knew he could get like this? He was so painfully subtle, but so obvious with it at the same time, he was playing innocent but somehow still exuding confidence. It was so incredibly attractive.

There was no need for him to be toying with you or trying to win you over, he’s had a claim on you, whether he was aware of it or not, since junior year. But he was doing it anyway like he was making up for all the times he wasn’t able to do so before.

You hope he can’t feel your body heating up in front of him or see the girlish smile that’s teasing at your lips due to his flirtatious intentions. You couldn’t help the giggle that bubbles around in your chest, threatening to escape. It just felt so different now, it was so much more intense now that he knew what he was doing.

You could feel yourself getting weak in the knees as he takes the spoon from your hand, remaining behind you as he stirs, his presence heavy. His left hand comes to your hip, remaining on top of the tee-shirt.

“I’ll always be here to help you, you know that right? In every way.” He says quietly, lips brushing against your ear as he speaks.

“I know,” You mumble, tilting your head to make contact with his cheek, and sinking into his touch. Your tensed muscles relax as you let your back rest against his chest.

You could stay like this forever, just with him, finally able to be with each other in the way both of you have always wanted. You don’t need to make anything official, you both already know, last night made whatever you two had official enough. 

You liked being like this. It felt true and real and raw, and you couldn’t ask for anything more. You were in your kitchen, in your home, with your lover, making a cake at dusk. It was liberating, exhilarating, and had your entire body feeling like it was floating.

You almost giggle when Armin hands you the spoon back, releasing it so he can fully stand behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, clinging to your torso like a little puppy. He turns his head and leans down slightly to rest his cheek between your shoulder blades. He lets out a deep exhale as he does so, him now being the one to settle into your warmth.

He stays latched onto you while trying your best to continue pouring in ingredients, arms around your torso, and hands fiddling with your tee-shirt. You’re quite productive for a while aside from the occasional bulky awkwardness of his arms around you while you’re trying to move around. But He moves accordingly to make sure he’s not in your way, sometimes he’ll detach an arm from you to move something out of your way or organize something.

How deprived he must have been from your touch if he’s one to latch on like this. He could have always asked you to be close, even in the past when neither of you knew what you wanted from each other, you would have still shown him the affection he needed from you… you wish he would have asked. Maybe you would have told each other the truth quite sooner if you had decided to settle for the physical intimacy.

Armin doesn’t care anymore. He’s forgotten all about the time he’s had where you were just at his fingertips, staying out of his grasp. He now lives, his conscious is steady in the now; where you’re in his arms. All he knows is that you’re in his reach, and you’re letting him pull you in, and he wants you closer, and closer, and closer.

His body is flush against yours, now preventing you from any progressive or purposeful movements. And his hands have slipped themselves underneath the tee-shirt, feeling up and tracing over the smooth skin of the upper sides of your thighs before coming above the fabric and holding your waist.

He just wants to feel all of you all at once, like he had a quarter of the day ago. But it wasn’t just the sexual aspect, he didn’t care for that. It was a plus, yes, but what he really wanted was the vulnerability and intimacy of it. He had no desire for the pleasure that came with or the satisfaction. He just wanted you, and he wanted all of you… with him. Whatever came with it was just a bonus.

His hands slide over the soft skin of your stomach, squeezing the plush flesh on occasion. He can feel the way you shiver in response; the little trembles he pulls from your body with his gentle touch. He can feel your goosebumps prickling against the soft skin of his hands and forearms as they continue brushing against your body.

You can feel his hips grinding against the meat of your ass, not intentionally looking for pleasure, you can tell he just wants closer. It was like he was trying to melt into you, two bodies becoming one. 

“Already?” You tease with a light giggle, setting down whatever occupied your hands to brace yourself against the counter.

He was hard against you, cock already throbbing and desperate for more. He’s never wished so before, but now he truly wishes didn’t have a dick… it always made things sexual when they didn’t need to be.

“Sorry — can’t help it,” He mumbles, pulling his head up so he can nuzzle his face into your neck, pressing kisses to the fragile skin before tucking his head into the crook of it.

He continued to feel over your body sensually, palms sliding over your stomach, your thighs, occasionally retreating between the two of you to squeeze the flesh of your ass before returning to your front to play with the waistband of your panties. The ones he picked out for you.

His touching had you already embarrassingly weak in the knees, all wobbly and unsteady as you latched your hands onto the edge of the counter for some kind of support. The task at hand was completely discarded, as you were focusing all your energy on keeping upright. 

Heat was swirling around in your stomach, pooling between your thighs as you feel Armin’s cock grinding against your ass. His lips were back on your neck, pressing soft kisses below your ear as he was mumbling something that sounded like ‘I love you’. 

And you could only return the admission. Tiny whispered ‘I love you’s escape your lips as you needily push back against his hips, aiding his lazy grinding.

He wasn’t trying to ask for anything more from you, he was satisfied with his feeling over your body and the little kisses on your neck. But you were giving him more, you were feeding into his desire

His teeth are nipping at your neck now and his hands have pushed the fabric of your shirt up past your hips. You’re softly moaning at the feeling of his cock brushing up against your barely clothed cunt and your eyes have fallen shut with your head rested back onto his shoulder.

And when his hands play with the hem of your panties from behind, fingers tickling the fat of your ass as he tries to pull the fabric aside to rut his still clothed hard-on right against your dripping cunt, you only aid his growing desire.

“Need you inside,” You breathe, reaching behind you grip his hip, feeling around only for a moment for his waistband before pushing it down his thighs, “Now.”

Armin grows hasty at your plea, suddenly getting knocked out of his lazy state of just wanting to feel your skin and into another mindset where he just wants to fill you. He wants to give you whatever you want, he wants to help you… in every way.

He takes his hands off of you only to push his sweats and boxers down his legs, just enough to for his cock to slap up against his stomach. And you’re already going to work at your undergarments, grabbing ahold of the inner hem of your panties from behind and tugging them aside to expose yourself to him. 

Armin doesn’t hesitate to grab ahold of the base of his cock, the other hand gripping your waist tightly as he slides the head of his dick through your cunt.

“You’re — you’re so wet,” He mumbles, getting lost in the way your slick coats his dick so nicely. He’s in awe that your arousal is due to his doing.

“Can’t help it,” You whimper, mirroring his earlier words and rutting back against him, desperate for his cock to slip inside you.

Armin pushes inside you steadily, with a low groan leaving his lips as he does so. Both of your bodies tremble and you can feel your arms shake beneath your weight. His fingers press into your hips, gripping them tightly as his head falls back onto his shoulders. His eyes squeeze shut as his jaw falls open, trying to prevent himself from prematurely cumming again.

How much change a few days and some honesty can bring a relationship. Your intimacy in the past was limited to lengthy hugs, cheek kisses, and falling asleep on each other while watching movies. And now you were letting him take you from behind, over your kitchen counter… raw. 

“God, Armin, you’re so big,” You cry, grinding yourself against his hips in a desperate attempt to adjust to this angle. You swear you could feel him in your stomach, literally shifting around your fucking organs.

He pulls out slow, shutting his mouth and taking his bottom lip between his teeth, furrowing his brows and exhaling through his nose. He tilts his chin down to his chest, cracking his eyes open just enough to be able to see the way your cunt stretches around his cock and clenches around the length of him.

You were slicking him up so nicely and enabling his dick to slide back into you so smoothly that it has a moan ripping from both of your throats. You fall down to your elbows, for your arms are no longer able to hold you up the way you need them to and splay your palms across the counter.

He opted for a steady pace once more, fucking you slow and long over quick and shallow. He loves the way you squirm when he reaches his hilt, unable to take his cock so deep, and the way you mewl out in the painful pleasure it brings.

But he wanted to take his time as well. He wants to cherish this sexual intimacy; take it whenever and however he wants it now that it’s his.

“Fuck — do you like it like this, from behind?” His voice strains as he leans over your body, his bare chest pressing against your back and his lips back against your ear. 

He’s warm, overpowering, and for a moment, you feel small both mentally and physically. His words hit you like a train, and you're sent melting once more, cunt squeezing his cock again while tremors wrack through your body.

It wasn't dirty talk, but it was talking. It was confident talking with lewd undertones, from Armin of all people. And it had your entire body lit on fire. You were subconsciously rocking back against his hips, trying to get him deeper and trying to pull more of anything from him.

“Yeah?” He asks again, murmuring against your skin and sending goosebumps across your flesh.

“Mhm,” You nod, barely able to pick your head up.

“I can feel it, you know, when you get tighter,” He seethes, pulling out but filling you again with a little more force.

It sends your front knocking against the counter and your arms reaching out in front of you, blinding searching for something to grab onto. But it only causes your forearms and elbows to bump into jars and bowls, spreading them across the counter.

You can't stop the choked-out moans from escaping, even though you've taken your lip between your teeth in an attempt to muffle them. 

“Fuck — you feel so good,” His right-hand reaches around your front, sliding up your stomach until it reaches your right breast. He squeezes it softly, using his thumb and forefinger to pinch at the nipple.

You gasp at the sensation, jerking upright, your back hitting his chest and hands coming back up with you to hold you up. It sends your whole body buzzing in reaction, the final drop of water that sends everything spilling over.

“Armin, fuck fuck fuck,” You choke, left hand flying back to his hips.

He’s going harder, deeper, and you swear you feel the head of his cock bumping against your cervix. It hurts, hurts so fucking good. And he doesn’t let up, but you don't want him to.

Then, the hand on your breast continues up your shirt, over your heaving chest until it rests at the base of your neck. It doesn’t squeeze, he doesn't go higher to grab your throat, he just holds the area where your chest meets your neck. 

“I — I’m gonna cum,” You stutter, nails etching into the skin of his hips where your hand remains latched to.

He continues to rock his hips against you, pulling you a little father upright until your right hand no longer has a hold on the countertop and your fingers are just brushing against the granite. He’s pressing on your chest to keep your back to him, refusing to let you squirm away. 

“Please, cum for me,” His voice goes soft again, ditching the sharp confidence for whiny pleading.

You struggle for thoughts, mouthing out words that aren't there, but somehow Armin manages to hear an “Inside — cum inside me,”

His hips stutter for a second, and only a brief wave of panic washes over him as he realizes he's not going to be able to pull out even if he wanted to. But then he remembers that you're on birth control. Christ, he's even picked your prescription up for you once or twice.

“You want it?” He asks, breath hot against your ear.

“Yes, please, please, please,” You beg

So, only after a moment of hesitation where he takes the time to hope you take your pills, he grits his teeth and buries his cock inside you until you’re yelping as you cum around his cock. The way you clench around him is what finally tips him over. And with a shaky groan and stuttering hips, he cums inside.

You can feel your stomach heat up from the inside out, in more ways than one. You can feel his release pooling around hot and thick inside you, and it sends warmth spreading all throughout your body. 

Your fingers are tingling with electricity and your legs are visibly trembling as you suck in air. Armin can feel your pulse fluttering sporadically beneath his fingertips, and every inhale and exhale you take shifts his forearm atop your chest.

He gives you a few moments to catch your breath, releasing his hand from your throat and dropping both of them down to steady your hips. Your palms meet the countertop once more, and you have to lean over them to stop yourself from crumbling to the ground.

He can feel his cum seeping out of you, dripping down the length of his cock. And when he pulls out, it’s almost unsettlingly slick around him.

“Shit —” He hisses, sharp pleasure running up his stomach due to the overstimulation.

He hears little gasps from you as you lean over the counter on your tip-toes, head lolled forward and still breathing heavily. Your panties are still pulled to the side, the fat of your ass keeping you exposed. And once his sweats are pulled back over him, Armin reaches out to pull them back in place.

“I love you,” You say, voice still a little shaky in your post-orgasmic state. You don’t look back at him while you speak, but Armin still looks at you.

“I always have,” You continue, “And… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just — I love you too much to lose you over it.”

“I know,”

“Stay with me,” You straighten up, pushing your hair out of your face as you turn around to him.

“I will,”

Armin grabs ahold of your wrist and gently pulls you to him. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and there’s not a moment of hesitation where you don’t do the same. Your face is pressed into his chest, still warm from earlier, but you don’t mind. 

You don’t ever want to go without his warmth again, in both a physical and spiritual state. And you won’t have to, because he feels the exact same way.

He holds you, with his lips pressed to your hairline and arms holding you tight, only pulling away to speak playfully.

“Let’s finish dessert, yeah?”

[putschki1969]

Kyoichi Sato Blog post

For the past few weeks Kyo-sama has been doing an introduction series on his blog. He talks about members of the Kajiura family from his point of view. His focus is on all the vocalists and musicians who are participating in YKL#17. Keiko had to wait VERY long for her entry in the series (and it seems she kept nagging Kyo-sama about it XD) but last week, it was finally her turn! Without further ado, let’s get to it!

～ Series 『Kajiura Family As Seen Through My Eyes』 Part 10 - Songstress KEIKO ～

　This blog post featuring songstress KEIKO will be the last installment of the series for the time being. I have spent so much time with her during our YKL activities and back during the Kalafina days, I believe there is no other drummer who has had the privilege of watching this woman sing from the back of the stage as much as I have.

　We have been through a lot together, I consider her a close friend and comrade. There are too many anecdotes but I would like to share a few at least・・・One of the big things that I still remember vividly is the so-called “Anaerobic Inhalation Incident in Mexico”. We had just finished the main part of our live in a high altitude area of Mexico and were getting ready for the encore so Keiko was trying hard to fight the altitude sickness by inhaling as much of the provided oxygen as possible. However, it turned out that the valve of the oxygen cylinder had been closed the whole time so no oxygen was coming through. 

　Then we have the infamous “Keiko Bathroom Confinement Incident”. During one of our live after-parties, all the guys were getting wasted drinking some heavy-duty alcohol. Keiko wanted to give it a try but after taking just a few tiny sips she ended up having to lock herself in the bathroom for quite some time

　And last but not least, the “Osaka Castle Cosplay Incident”. When I took the girls on a little tour to Osaka Castle, Keiko wasn’t at all interested in any of my countless stories about the historical background of the castle, the only thing she wanted to do was dress up as warlords inside the castle. Of course there are many more anecdotes like this and I treasure them all as fun memories when I think back on them. 

　Her singing voice has a special and unique presence. When she is singing in harmony with others, she is mainly in charge of the lower parts, always supporting the main vocalist with her lower harmonies. There is a synergistic effect whenever Keiko is involved. Her strength and presence increase the more brilliant the higher harmonies are and at the same time she manages to make the high vocals sound even brighter. I think it is really rare to find a vocalist like that.

　I am always impressed by her harmonies, with her strength and sense of rhythm she is able to complement so many different singing voices, even matching our guest vocalists. I know for a fact that this kind of high quality chorus work doesn’t come out of nowhere, it requires a lot of practice.

　There is YURIKO KAIDA who has an academic background in music, KAORI who has received professional training ever since her childhood days and Wakana who was born with a naturally beautiful voice. Among all of these amazing songstresses, I’m absolutely certain that no one has had to work harder than Keiko to establish her position in the group. I think it was her unrivaled determination and strong-willed nature that made it possible. I believe it is that very same fighting spirit that made it possible for her to take on the main supportive role of Kalafina for 10 years, allowing these three beautiful flowers to bloom.

PS: I would like to talk a little more about Kalafina. Kaji-chan and Mori-san were the ones to cultivate the soil and to sow the seeds but it was the tireless effort of the three members that made this wonderful flower of music bloom to its full potential (and maybe us musicians also contributed a little bit with our slender means). Their hard work is the vertical thread that is running through 10 years worth of music, starting from the theme songs of "Garden of Sinners” right up until their final live at Nippon Budokan. And then we have the fans who have been supporting Kalafina throughout the years, they make up the horizontal thread. Together they are woven into the most beautiful and amazing tapestry. This tapestry is still in my heart and will continue to shine brightly until the end of time. It would make me very happy knowing that for all the fans, Kalafina’s music also represents an ever-lasting beautiful tapestry.

•——————•°•✿•°•——————•

Ohhhh! This was absolutely heart-wrenching and beautiful! First, I really enjoy reading those random anecdotes of Keiko from their Kalafina days. Also, I respect Kyo-sama so much for never neglecting to mention Wakana when there is talk about Kalafina. Thank you for always coming through for us!! And then that final part where he gets quite emotional about Kalafina 🙌 Made me want to listen to Wakana’s cover of “Ito”.

[bukojuiice]

— their wedding day with you.

ೃ pairings: (izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, x fem! reader)

ೃ  tags: headcanons, tooth rotting fluff

ೃ warnings:  none

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ if you want to be a part of my mha taglist. send me an ask!  ♡

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! it really helps writers and content creators on tumblr! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!)

ೃ after a million wedding videos and pinterest boards later, i’m excited to share with all of you my wedding hcs! these are short and a quick read so i hope you enjoy!  ♡

-  you and your fiancé, katsuki, were arguing over the venue and the theme of the wedding. he wanted it to be a simple ceremony. perhaps taking place at just a regular event place- whilst you wanted the venue to be at a beach. 

- it was a dream you had always wanted while innocently planning your wedding as a kid. so why not make it a reality?

-        The two of you peacefully decided on it over rock paper scissors. You won so… the beach wedding it is.

-        (Katsuki actually loved the idea of the beach wedding as much as you did. He just didn’t want to admit it.)

-        coral blue and oceana palettes, luscious palm trees swaying with the wind coming from the sea, the calming sound and view of the ocean, coral and shell designs hung everywhere, tables and chairs with little boho and aquatic inspired designs.

-        mitsuki bakugo insisted on making your wedding dress. you were overjoyed and deeply touched by her sweet gesture. As she wants the best for her beautiful and loving daughter in law after all.

-        The dress was one of the most angelic and heavenly gowns you have ever seen in your entire life. a long graphic lace gown with an open back and the edges of your white dress had frills like that of a mermaid tail. you wore a shell bracelet, to match with katsuki’s.

-        kirishima and kaminari jokingly dared bakugo to wear a tuxedo heavily inspired by the dc superhero, aquaman to keep the beach theme going. of course, katsuki ignored their suggestions and little jokes, opting for something of his usual style. his suit partially unbuttoned, tan rolled up-pants and matching shell bracelets with you.

- as you walk down the aisle, katsuki could not think of anything but the bursting feeling inside of him saying that this was it. this serendipitous event was going to signify the start of his life... his life with you.  

- your beauty and radiance was like that of a mermaid, your (h/c) hair flowing with the wind and the ocean was there as if practically glowing for you. whereas he felt like a mere pirate who could do nothing but watch you from afar as he sailed the shores.

- yet here you are, about to approach him, to finally begin this momentous event.

- the gentle mermaid fell in love with the aggressive pirate. how sweet.

- you insisted on playing songs from the little mermaid during your walk down the aisle and during the reception, sadly, katsuki disapproved of both. with a little convincing and a dozen of cute pouty faces later, he agreed to have someone play a romantic song. just one.

- the two of you decided on someone performing a beautiful rendition of “can’t take my eyes off of you” 

-        bakugo was about to cry while reciting his vows. Almost. He was totally going to shed some tears after the wedding ceremony, for only you to see, and before the two of you make your appearance at the reception.

- the wedding and the reception ends wonderfully as fireworks began to pop in the sky, colorful swirls as if they were coloring the sky, with one of the firecrackers even shaped as a heart. the reception continues with people dancing, and while your husband wasn’t one for festivities and dancing, he would give this day a pass as you bring him to the middle of the dance floor as the two of you dance the night away.

- “you’re just too good to be true...  Can't take my eyes off of you~ you'd be like Heaven to touch, i wanna hold you so much~”

-        shoto wants the most important day of his life to be reminiscent of a fairy tale as he wasn’t able to experience the wonder and the beauty of it as a child.

-        to keep the theme consistent, he rents out a quaint recreational woodland not far from the city.

-        he wants it to be perfect just for you especially since you’ve been dreaming of living a fairy tale for such a long time… and here you are now about to fulfill that dream.

-        the wedding starting at dusk, twinkling lights and garlands hanging around the trees, fairy lights sprawled about, blooming archways, lilac ash and sandstone pallets, long romantic banquet, and guests composed of his closest friends and family.

-        you’re dressed in a beautiful white (with pastel blue accents) floofy dress reminiscent of a fairy. embroidered with vines, satin flowers, and butterfly accents. instead of a veil, you’re wearing a flower crown decorated with pretty white daisies and leaves.

-        whilst shoto was wearing a suit reminiscent of peter pan. an exquisite blue suit with a peter pan lily as his boutonnière.

-        As soon as he sees you walking down the aisle, tears were about to stream down from his cheeks.

- the whole todoroki fam are at the brink of tears too, as these were one of the very rare times they see the youngest todoroki with the biggest smile and most blissful look on his face. 

-        All of the guests stand up, each seat has one thin branch with attached handcrafted butterflies and fireflies for them to hold up and to illuminate your way to Shoto.

-        A musician strums their guitar and begins to sing “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis Presley.

-        He’s just beyond delighted to see you. As if flowers were blooming with every step you take, approaching closer and closer to him.

- “wise men say... only fools rush in... but I can’t help falling in love with you...”

-        You looked ethereal. Like a dawning light.

-        You continue to walk down the aisle, looking back at him. All the pure love and adoration you have visible in your eyes.

- midway through your vows, shoto couldn’t take it anymore and the tears just flowed down his face. you giggle lightly, the other guests were snickering along.  you bring him into a hug, kissing his tear-imprinted face as the two of you continue with the ceremony.

- It felt like an absolute dream. This was the best day of both of your lives after all.

-        “And they lived happily ever after.”

- you and izuku  just wanted a simple yet still fancy backyard wedding. 

- as the two of you wanted to spend most of your budget on traveling the world for your honeymoon trip instead.

- you could still make things absolutely beautiful and pleasing to look at after all. with your amazing teamwork and working on the planning together, you could manifest a delightful wedding. 

- there wasn’t a particular theme per se. both you and izu weren’t really ones to go into specifics anyway. you just wanted to replicate a very light and airy feeling that can be seen in most dreamy weddings.

-  string lights hung everywhere, a huge whimsical canopy was built up on the yard with two iridescent chandeliers hanging on the inside, draped fabrics and lush, interwoven greenery, mint and powdered colored accents, and a mini bar at the entrance.

- all of the heroes that izuku had known all his life were invited to the wedding. and of course, they wouldn’t miss it for the world. with practically everyone attending the #1 hero’s big day.

- with the help of the girls from class 1-a and after several hours of trying on the most beautiful dresses, your heart was set on an embroidered tulle and crepe white gown. instead of a veil, you opted for a  white crown headpiece, resembling that of a halo. 

- izuku on the other hand, at the behest of the boys of class 1-a, wanted him to wear something extravagant that could woo you. izuku disliked all the suits that they made him try out and instead went for a black suit jacket, dark blue dress shirt, and to complete the look, a cute little bow tie. 

- you walk down the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers, your calming and ever so beaming presence felt like the light that he had been looking for all his life.

-  izuku could just stare at you lovingly like this if he could. he fights the tears welling up in his eyes, but he knows he’s going to break soon.

- and he does. as soon as he starts reciting his vows, izuku begins to weep. the genuineness and the love that you could hear from his voice and from the emotions he was showing right now made you feel so warm inside. 

- you hug him and squeeze both of his hands tight as he calmly yet emotionally goes through the entirety of his vow. 

- at the reception, inko and all might offer a special toast to you and izuku. their speech composed mostly of doting words and a lot of light-hearted “parent” jokes. 

- dekusquad + bakugo came up to the stage too to give their chaotic toast to the groom and bride, and the atmosphere and the mood became even more fun and lighthearted.

- as a surprise, you and izuku prepared a short musical number. the two of you were going to duet stand by me by ben e. king.

-  “when the night has come... and the land is dark... and the moon is the only light we'll see~ no I won't be afraid... oh, I won't be afraid. just as long as you stand, stand by me~”

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34​​ @sparkykatsuki​​ @ramunegoddess​, @serossimpy

[starlit-scarlet]

Healing

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Wherein Levi comforts reader after the lost of a loved one.

A/N: This fic is also posted on ao3 and is dedicated to @artistic-resonance and another reader from ao3, as well as anyone who has ever lost a loved one. I lost my grandma last fall, two other grandparents in 2018, and I felt like we could all use a little comfort from the sweet, gruff man that is Levi Ackerman—that's how I see him at least.

I'd like to preface this with the following: if you feel that reading this would make things worse, please do not read it. The last thing I would ever want is for something I write to make it hurt more. I did this as a way to help, but my feelings will not be hurt if you decide not to read.

In any case, I hope you enjoy this little bit of comfort from our favorite spinny boy.

It was dark, the curtains drawn in tight, not letting a single ounce of sunlight into the living room—matching your current mood. Curled up on the couch under your favorite throw blanket—one they’d knitted for you—and all you could do was stare blankly out into the room in front of you. The cozy, woven material reminded you of them, somehow still smelling of them, remembering how their scent used to bring you peace—though that may have just been your wishful thinking. Your phone lay on the floor where it had slipped out of your hand the moment you’d received the news.

The five stages of grief, and you were in denial, having trouble believing that they were no longer with you, that you would never see them again, that beloved family member of yours that you’d been so close to.

That’s where he found you when he stepped into your home, lying on the couch, and his concern for you was so sudden that his keys slipped from his hand to land on the floor, the tinkling sound resounding through the quiet room.

“Baby.”

It was the only word he whispered before he moved. By your side in an instant, he lay down next to you, pulling you close against him, tucking your head against his chest.

The presence of him had the first of many tears slipping out of your eyes as your hands curled into fists in his shirt. You whimpered as you tried to explain to him that someone in your family had passed away through the sobs and hitching breaths that hit your body. Simply murmuring sweet nothings to you, he pressed gentle kisses to the top of your head, stroking your hair and back, his touches tender, ginger, supporting you as you grieved.

“They’re gone, Levi, they’re just gone ,” you wailed, snuggling closer to him.

“I know, baby, I know.” He was the type of man who struggled with emotions, with poetic words, yet he always tried for you. It was a testament to how much he loved you.

Never once did he let you go, never once did he cease the comforting caresses within your hair as you sobbed in his arms, the well of grief threatening to never dry. He was your rock, the one person who could provide you peace, and you didn’t know what you would have done if he wasn’t in your life at that moment.

Thankfully, you didn’t have to wonder.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, the tears began to dry, and you nuzzled in closer against him, your lips somehow curling into a faint smile at the way he kissed the top of your head again. It had taken ages for him to become comfortable with these forms of affection, but he’d learned, and though he still floundered at times, he always did his best.

And that was all that mattered to you.

“Why, Levi?” Your breath hitched. “Why did this have to happen?”

He sighed, massaging at your scalp in a way that made you want to purr against him. “I wish I had a reason, but these things just happen in life.”

His words had you sniffling, more tears threatening to spill. “I wasn’t ready to lose them, Levi.”

“We never are.”

That was part of what was so reassuring with him, that he knew what it was like to lose family, having lost Furlan and Isabel so long ago. You’d been there to help him through it, to help him through his grief, the way he was doing with you now.

“What do I do, Levi?”

“You get through it, and I’ll be here with you, every step of the way.”

It warmed your heart to hear him say that, shivering when he brushed his lips across your forehead. Some people perhaps would wish he was more poetic, more heartfelt. But the simplicity of his responses rang louder than any profound, rhythmic verse could ever dream of being. Somehow, he always managed to give tell you exactly what you needed to hear.

Rising from the couch, he pulled the blanket off of you, scooping you up into his arms, your own coming to wrap around his neck as you cuddled close against him. He carried you into the bathroom, setting you down gently onto the counter while he turned to fill the bathtub with water and some bubble bath before directing his attention back to you once again.

Hands gentle as he removed your clothing, he placed you into the bathtub, your frame engulfed in the water and the soothing fragrance of the bubbles.

He crouched down next to the tub, ruffling your hair in a way that always made you want to hum and purr like a cat. “Do you want me to sit with you, or do you want to be alone?”

“Please, Levi, I...I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He nodded, stripping himself of his clothes, folding them neatly and setting them on the counter next to yours. Stepping into the fragrant bath, he settled in behind you, drawing your back up against his chest and wrapping his arms around your waist.

Head falling back against him, you let yourself enjoy the simple comfort that was Levi holding you. His strong, sturdy arms against your waist, holding you close, reminding you that he would always be there for you. The gentle kisses he pressed along your neck and shoulders, reminding you that he loved you, more than anything in the world. For only you were able to see this soft, sweet side of him, the one that had been locked away before you’d both met.

Tilting your head back, he used a cup— one he kept in the bathroom for this purpose— to pour streams of water down your hair, wetting it. This was his domain, where he was most comfortable. It was how he showed you he loved you, the way he took care of you. You knew it was because his mother had done the same for him when he’d been a young boy.

Her way of making him feel better when he was little, had been to set him in a bubble bath and help him scrub away the day. He’d always been close to her, but had lost her when he was a teen, taken in by his Uncle Kenny shortly after.

A calm sigh slipped through your lips when he scrubbed at your hair with some shampoo, his hands tender, and sweet as he washed away the day, just as his mother had with him. It was a ritual the two of you had shared time and time again, the meaning of it different than between mother and son, but the bonding, the affection, all of that was still there.

Blocking your forehead with his hand, he carefully rinsed out the suds, making sure none slipped down to sting your eyes, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple that had your heart fluttering as you turned to gaze up at him. The warmth in his blue eyes lit up his entire face, the warmth that was only ever there for you.

His hands were ginger and sweet as they caressed down your body, scrubbing and cleaning, seeking to soothe and comfort, not entice and seduce. The gentleness of his hands had you relaxing further into him, reaching a different form of bliss, feeling completely safe and at ease with him.

The two of you stayed that way, relaxing, relishing in the comfort of each other until the bubbles fizzled away and the water cooled. Only then did he rise, lifting you back into his arms and setting you on the floor so he could gently dry you, giving your wet hair a little ruffle before running the coarse fabric through it. Of its own volition, your hand lifted to caress the side of his face, and he simply turned his head to kiss your fingertips.

And people thought him cruel and callous.

Hardly, you mentally scoffed.

Gruff. A bit of an ass. A neat freak. Yes, he was all of those things.

But cruel and callous? How could you ever think him to be that way when he treated you this way? So kind and gentle and sweet. As if you were the most precious thing in his life, and sometimes...sometimes it felt as if you were.

He wrapped the towel around you, moving to dry himself off, though he tutted in amusement when you tried to step out of the bathroom.

“Let me take care of you, alright?”

That had your heart fluttering again, the wings threatening to send it flying, soaring, to land straight into the palms of his hands. As if you could ever resist him.

So when he scooped you into his arms once again, you simply nuzzled into his neck, pressing loving kisses along the skin, already feeling immensely better. The grief in your heart ran deep, but his tender love and care was already helping you heal the wound. It felt as if you were floating, and you almost didn’t want him to set you back down—though the thought was hardly reasonable.

Despite knowing you were perfectly capable of dressing yourself, he helped you anyway, pulling your shirt over your head, followed by a pair of comfortable shorts, chuckling at the way you rolled your eyes at him. That was something else only you and a few select others were worthy enough to see and hear.

His smile.

His laugh.

For only those he felt truly comfortable with was he able to put down his guard enough to enjoy the simple things of life such as humor.

“What do you want for dinner?”

The simple question drew you out of your thoughts once again, and you managed to draw out another chuckle from him when you told him what you wanted. Food from your favorite delivery place, something that meant not having to go out, and meant that he wouldn’t have to take time away from holding you, which is what you needed most.

Once he’d placed the order, he didn’t hesitate to cart you into his arms again—spoiling you to no end—and carrying you out into the living room, where the two of you could settle in on the couch, cuddling close with your legs draped over his. He tossed the blanket over you—the one he knew meant everything to you—and switched on the TV, putting on your favorite show. It was one you knew he hated, but that he was willing to watch if it meant helping you.

That was why he was your sweet, gruff Levi.

As you sat together, you slowly could feel the wounds beginning to mend further.

With him—through helping him through his own losses—you’d come to learn that grief is the love you held for a lost loved one persevering.

You didn’t know how long it would take for you to heal, but you knew that as long as you had him by your side, that you had your friends…

You could get through anything.

One day at a time.

Back to Fluff/Comfort Menu

[zosonils-art]

ohhh can we hear more about sweet woman 🥺

we totally can!! infodump about this gaslighting gatekeeping girlboss is under the cut as always

sweet woman was commissioned by a super classy french dessert restaurant called the orgueilleux pâtisserie [orgueilleux being very poorly google translated french for elitist/snobbish lmao], acting as both a chef and a mascot! the gimmick worked wonders for the restaurant's popularity, with rich people coming in droves to experience the novelty of food prepared with a robot master's help, and she was quickly promoted to social media manager as well as her original duties. despite her cutesy demeanour, she's much smarter than she looks, and is equipped with an in-depth understanding of chemical reactions and inhumanly accurate sense of timing and spatial awareness. she knows hundreds of recipes and most of them cost several hundred dollars to make

her personality is more deliberately engineered than most robot masters, designed to fit her appearance and be marketable. she's unwaveringly cheerful, incredibly extroverted, and just silly enough that it's cute rather than grating. she plays these traits up a lot for the cameras, exaggerating her energy and playing dumb when it'll appeal to the masses, but even when she doesn't have her public image to consider she's a bubbly and energetic goof. she's a stubborn optimist, and if she can't find a bright side to look on she'll take out a flashlight and make one. her optimisim makes for a good workplace morale boost and an even better social media presence, although when combined with her ditziness and being a bit out of touch from almost exclusively interacting with the 1% it often makes her come across as insensitive

since she's in the spotlight a lot, most of sweet's hobbies and interests outside of work are still carefully selected to match her public image and look good on an instagram post. she has a passing interest in shopping and fashion, and enjoys going to parties and gatherings and what have you to meet new people. she also loves to experiment with cooking and come up with new recipes, some of which end up on the orgueilleux menu. she does, however, have a private interest in chemistry! as mentioned earlier she knows a fair bit about it already, since cooking is just chemistry with a restricted set of substances, and in her own time she ended up getting curious and reading into the sort of reactions that arise from chemicals she doesn't work with. she rarely mentions this interest herself, but she gets super excited if someone brings it up or gives her the excuse to talk about it, and it's probably listed as super secret trivia about her on the pâtisserie website

unlike other robot masters, sweet has an acute sense of both smell and taste! [since robots seem to only use e-tanks for fuel, there's not much benefit to smelling or tasting things, so i personally believe that most of them don't have those senses unless it'd directly benefit their job.] being able to actually taste the food she cooks makes it much easier to tell if she's doing it right, especially if she's trying to come up with something new. she's also capable of replenishing her energy by eating - it's less efficient than e-tanks, but she thinks they taste gross so she always opts for actual food. fittingly, she has a massive sweet tooth, but she's accustomed to only the highest-class dining and dislikes cheaper or less 'refined' tastes

her magical girl vibe, brought to you by someone who has watched maybe 4 episodes of anime that weren't sonic x, is entirely an aesthetic and marketing gimmick rather than serving any functional purpose. she'll play it up for promotional videos and photoshoots, twirling her fork-trident thing and striking dramatic poses and calling out thematically appropriate attack names like 'sparkling sugar swirl' and 'cinnamon whirlwind' whenever she does anything, but it's mostly for show. while she genuinely enjoys the shouting and posing and twirling, she massively tones it down when she's not performing, maybe occasionally saying an attack name at a reasonable volume while she works. her fork-trident thing isn't even a real weapon, magical or otherwise. it's just styrofoam with metallic paint on it

sweet's weakness to harpoon shot was decided before i figured out exactly what tide man's weapon would be, going on the idea that getting food wet tends to make it sad and gross. this logic doesn't quite carry over with harpoon shot being, well, a harpoon rather than something specifically water-based, but i imagine shooting a cake with a harpoon would also be a very one-sided battle so this weapon wheel makes sense i promise. i guess you could also make the argument that it's because sweet is only experienced with a fake pronged weapon made of foam and would be completely blindsided by a real one? maybe it's that tide is so staunchly anticapitalist that his weapon inherently vibe checks her? i'm grasping at straws a bit over here but listen, if mega man 5 can insist that water is elementally weak to trains, i can insist that it's elementally strong against the french

i think her stage could be some kind of factory! lots of conveyer belts definitely, maybe some crushing hazards, definitely a few mets. the idea there is that she's seized a major food processing plant and is using that position to wreck the regional supply chain. even when she's evil, she basically keeps the exact same personality she shows to the public with only a noticable capitalism upgrade. she has pretty much no combat abilities on her own, but at her own suggestion she was upgraded to shoot a specially formulated icing that's acidic enough to burn through thin metal, finally putting her interest in chemistry to use. her fork-trident, on the other hand, was not changed in the slightest. still just styrofoam. i think it'd be pretty good if she opened her battle with it but even if it hits mega man it only deals one point of damage and the second it touches something it snaps in half and she never pulls out a new one

designing sweet was pretty fun because she's pretty different from my usual taste in character design! my experience with the magical girl genre is that i read about half of sailor moon when i was 12 and absorbed everything else through pop culture osmosis and tv tropes pages, so it was definitely fun to draw what i think a magical girl might look like. i also don't use oranges and yellows much, so picking out her colours made for an agonising exciting challenge! she didn't change too much from the initial microsoft paint sketch, although she lost a skirt layer along the way because i didn't feel like figuring out how to draw another one, and her weapon was originally just a big fork that probably would have been a ksjfjhkjhfillion times less cumbersome to draw. oh well. live and learn [HANGIN ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW]

that about wraps it up for sweet woman, i think - thank you so much for asking about her!! here's the transparent art and the version without 15 different filters on it to make it look kinda like an 80s anime screenshot

[sadviper]

Kim Jin Won: Interview with Kankoku TV Drama vol. 97 (Aug 2020)

Director Kim Jin Won

A transformative drama about the birth and founding of the Joseon nation. Spinning a tale of the common people.

Director Kim Jin Won has been recognized for his delicate and heartwarming productions such as "The Innocent Man" (2012 KBS) and "Wonderful Days" (2014 KBS). From the time he first dreamed of directing dramas, he thought of telling stories from the point of view of ordinary people rather than from the viewpoint of the rich and blessed. It was the same for “My Country” (2019 JTBC), which was the director’s first time managing a full-scale historical drama. Although the theme was the founding of Korea, the starring roles were not famous figures such as Yi Seong-gye and Yi Bang-won, but the common folk at the lowest rungs of history. A human drama performed by fresh young stars and historical facts are exquisitely entwined to create a dynamic historical production. 

The contrast of Se-jong and Do-hwan as they unveil expectation-shattering performances

--What is the story behind how you became the director for “My Country”?

KJW: Can I speak frankly? To tell you the truth, I don’t really like historical dramas. But when I read the synopsis, it seemed very interesting. It was refreshing to have well-known figures such as Yi Seong-gye and Yi Bang-won play supporting roles in a story about the early days of Joseon. Instead, it pulls the story from the point of view of the commoners. While reading the script, I understood what regular people were thinking during the founding of the nation. That was interesting to me and I agreed to take on the production.

--When talking about the closing years of Goryeo to the early days of Joseon, aren't there essential people or events that have to appear?

KJW: We also thought it would be more interesting for Jeong Mong-ju (🔺1) and Jeong Do-jeon (🔺2) to make appearances, for they are indispensable to this era. The scale of the story would become larger and more dramatic. However, if we did that, it would be too similar to other works, so I abandoned the idea. First, the scriptwriter and I promised to not distort historical facts, and following this guiding principle, we developed the story.

(🔺1) Jeong Mong-ju (鄭夢周): A Confucian scholar and literary vassal who made a name for himself in the late Goryeo period. Yi Seong-gye and Jeong Do-jeon, who aim to establish a new country, oppose him. While planning their assassinations, Mong-ju himself is assassinated by Yi Bang-won's aides.

(🔺2) Jeong Do-jeon (鄭道伝): A politician who exercised his talents as an aide to Yi Seong-gye. He plays a major role in the founding of Joseon and the early national administration. He comes into conflict with Yi Bang-won, who was trying to succeed his father and become the king, and is subsequently killed.

--On the other hand, there are also fictional characters such as Seo Hwi (played by Yang Se-jong), Nam Seon-ho (played by Woo Do-hwan), and Han Hui-jae (played by Seol-hyun <AOA>).

KJW: Yes. Hwi and Hui-jae are characters we created from scratch. We researched how the common people lived during the founding of Joseon and the civil war that is known as the “Strife of the Princes”, and came up with these fictional characters. Nam Jeon, the antagonist and Seon-ho’s father (played by Ahn Nae-sang), was created by mixing together the real historical figures of Jeong Do-jeon and Nam Eun (🔺3). If anything, there are more elements of Nam Eun than Jeong Do-jeon. Nam Eun had several sons, but we made a single motif out of them and created Seon-ho. However, all his rebellious opposition to his father was our invention.

(🔺3) Nam Eun: A politician who was active from late Goryeo to the beginning of the Joseon era. He supports Yi Seong-gye with Jeong Do-jeon and contributes to the founding of Korea. However, Yi Bang-won launches the civil war that is called the "First Strife of Princes" and there Nam Eun loses his life.

--At the drama’s press conference, you told us about your dream casting.

KJW: Previously I produced “Just Between Lovers” (2017 JTBC) and wanted to cast Yang Se-jong as one of the main characters, however, during the preparation stage, that character was removed and I wasn’t able to make him an offer. Ever since, I’ve kept a close watch. Looking at Se-jong, he has a soft image and seems suited for melodramas, but in reality, he’s very manly and even handles his own action scenes. The character Hwi is adept at martial arts and is intelligent, but behind the scenes, he was a difficult character who carried an extraordinary amount of loneliness and heartache. When I met Se-jong, just as he was, I could see Hwi’s painful silhouette, and on the spot, I proposed that we work together.

--And what about Woo Do-hwan?

KJW: A long time ago, I asked my industry peers if there were any actors that were attracting attention recently, and that’s how I learned about Woo Do-hwan. At that time, he was a real newcomer with only two works in his filmography. To tell you the truth, Seon-ho’s casting was nerve-wracking. If the other actor can’t match Se-jong’s presence, then it’s difficult for a story that is spearheaded by dual male leads. After worrying over it, Do-hwan came out as the top contender and I made him an offer.

--How were the two on set?

KJW: They are the same age, but they are completely different types. Se-jong is the type of actor who acts after his emotions boil out of him. His emotions won’t emerge if he isn’t convinced, so he needs time to immerse himself in the role and empathize with the character. Do-hwan is the opposite; he is the type who enters the character instantly. Their styles differ but that difference created a transformative, synergistic effect. Se-jong said that one of his few friends was Do-hwan; they went as far as becoming best friends. They often came to me and talked about how they learned a lot from each other.

--During filming, at what point did you feel their charisma?

KJW: First of all, the scene where Se-jong was dragged off to jail was a performance that truly exceeded my expectations. He struck his head against the wall and was suffering, but his eyes! They were eyes that you can’t take a second time. Afterwards, I saw that his forehead was red and swollen. For Do-hwan, it was when we filmed the scene where his haggard figure was seated after Hwi’s sister, Yeon (played by Cho I-hyeon), experienced a traumatic episode. During rehearsal, tears spilled out of Do-hwan’s eyes. I didn’t expect him to cry; I immediately stopped the rehearsal and switched to filming. I thought that the actors properly captured the emotions; I told them to play those two scenes as they wanted to. Their performances were realistic and absolutely heart-wrenching.

Regrets for the limited romantic kiss scene

-- At what point did you feel Seol-hyun’s appeal and pick her for the role?

KJW: Casting the role of Hui-jae was a bit difficult. The drama was male-centric, and there was no clear romance. Be that as it may, even though the role is to become Hwi and Seon-ho’s emotional support, I thought that it had to be an actor that everyone understood. If it were Seol-hyun, she would give a skillful performance.

-- Seol-hyun’s performance received particularly good reviews.

KJW: I’m the most glad about that. During the middle of the broadcast, we held a press conference and from the very beginning, the reporters paid her many compliments. Without a doubt, her popularity increased with this work. She had a strong desire to do well, and together we discussed it and made it happen. In particular, Seol-hyun’s charms shone especially bright in the scenes with Seo Seol (played by Jang Young-nam), who manages the brothel.

-- There is one more main character: what is the story behind casting Jang Hyuk for the role of Yi Bang-won?

KJW: This casting was also very stressful. This drama was so nerve-wracking that you could say casting took up more than half the effort. In particular, Yi Bang-won is a figure that symbolizes this era, so I want an actor with a powerful presence to play the role. Otherwise, the scale will shrink and Yi Bang Won’s charisma as he faces the main characters will disappear in the second half. If you watch the drama, you’ll know that Yi Bang-won is involved in everything: he is in conflict with Seon-ho; he develops a close rapport with Hwi; and he fights for power with Yi Seong-gye and Nam Jeon. It requires an actor with profound emotions. The first person who came to mind was Jang Hyuk.

-- While filming, when was the moment that you thought ‘as expected’?

KJW: Jang Hyuk can dominate the screen with just the look in his eyes, without having to say a word. Also, he is as erudite as a historian, so I had an easy time as the director. The most memorable scene is the one with his father, Yi Seong-gye (played by Kim Yeong-cheol). In the scene where the two of them argued over the throne, initially I thought they would show a top-down hierarchy between a father and son. However, after rehearsal, Jang Hyuk and Kim Yeong-cheol were able to portray their relationship on equal footing. Man versus man. There was no discussion, it was a spontaneous expression. I could clearly see that Yi Bang-won was facing his father as a man. I thought it was excellent.

-- From the young to the veteran, the appeal of the actors was outstanding, and I enjoyed the male friendships.

KJW: First of all, what’s wonderful about Kim Yeong-cheol and An Nae-sang is that anyone who performs alongside those two ends up looking better. They only have to stand on the side, and it makes the other person look cool. Even Jang Hyuk, who is already strong enough, doubled in appeal when he was with them. After that, Jang Hyuk gave a lot of advice to his juniors. In the drama he was taciturn, but in reality he is quite talkative (laugh). Whenever he thought he didn’t have to be on set, he was always talking to his juniors by the side of the car that was used as the make-up room. Male friendships are good, but it’s just that I wanted to show more romance.

-- You mean Hwi and Hui-jae’s romance?

KJW: Yes. It wasn’t easy to incorporate the romance because the scale of each episode was so large. The only thing I was particular about was when Hwi was first taken to the battlefield--instead of remembering his sister, Yeon, he remembers Hui-jae. When I went to military service and woke up in the morning at the training center, the first thing that came to my mind wasn’t my family but my girlfriend (laugh). In the end, I changed it so that Hwi remembers both Yeon and Hui-jae. This was because Hwi is in a unique situation where he doesn’t know how Yeon is doing.

-- What about Hwi and Hui-jae’s first kiss scene?

KJW: I also have a lot of regrets concerning that scene. It was the first important kiss scene, but it took place in such a crappy little room! Hwi being beaten up, his lumpy face, and the shabby location are what I remember when I think about that scene. The art director and I did our best to film it as beautifully as possible. Otherwise, Hwi and Hui-jae’s feelings won’t be conveyed properly to the audience.

-- The early scene of paper lanterns soaring into the sky was also beautiful.

KJW: I put a lot of effort into that. It was the only happy time I could give Hwi before he heads out for the battle called the Liaodong Conquest. The script only called for flying kites, but I thought it would be unnatural to fly kites from day until night. After worrying about it, I ultimately decided to fly paper lanterns at night. The atmosphere was romantic, which was very nice.

Putting your heart and soul into the battlefield scenes

The trouble with bows and arrows in acting and film

-- You put in a remarkable amount of effort, not just for the romance scenes but also for the war scenes?

KJW: I poured the most effort into this part. There are a total of three battle scenes, but I filmed them all over six days. Of those, I focused the most on the scene for the Liaodong conquest. Hwi is suddenly taken to the battlefield, he’s bewildered and confused as to why he’s there, and he has to survive. I decided to film in one continuous take in order to highlight the figure of Hwi fighting without knowing the situation he’s in, but an entire day was gone just from checking the flow lines of the cameras and actors…It was an enormous challenge for me. It was very difficult.

 -- It was also impressive that bow and arrows were used as the main weapons instead of swords.

KJW: When I first spoke to the screenwriter, I wanted to take a different approach from other historical dramas, so I chose bow and arrow. However, that was the start of my troubles. Swords look cool and film well when you swing them around, but you can’t do that with bows and arrows. This time, I realized this while shooting. The actors also had a lot of trouble. Drawing the bow requires considerable power, so when they spoke their lines, their hands would quiver. Luckily they were all skilled at action and did a great job carrying it out.

-- One month after the start of filming, you regretfully asked yourself, “Why did I decide to do a historical drama?” (laugh) Was this because of the battle scene from before?

KJW: No. I didn’t have regrets during that time. It was during the appearance of the children. Two child actors played the queen’s (played by Park Ye-jin) sons. They only appear a few times in the drama, but for the sake of that scene, those two suffered a lot. I’m a father with a child their age, so it was really heart-breaking. When I was an assistant director, I shot a historical drama and I realized that it didn’t suit me, but unfortunately, over time I forgot. Hahaha.

--Seems like you really value the actors. When viewing the making video, the actors are often heard voicing their opinions.

KJW: That’s not always the case (embarrassed laugh). “My County” had many large-scale scenes, so I communicated the way I would with a contemporary drama. In particular, I had all kinds of discussions with the protagonists Se-jong, Do-hwan, and Seol-hyun. Thanks to this, the burden on each other was lightened, and we were able to save time during filming. After listening to the opinions of all the actors, I have an image of the scene before I film. However, for important scenes, I felt that I should capture the emotions the actors are trying to express rather than just capturing beautiful images.

--This is your second drama since transferring to JTBC. What is the story behind your transfer?

KJW: I wanted to continue directing. KBS is also a very good company and I learned many things there. But as any organization gets older, the time comes when you have to move to the next step on the ladder. It goes from director to producer, then from producer to a desk.  I transferred because I still had a strong desire to be in the field instead of in a managerial position.

--What are your plans now?

KJW: I don’t have any plans yet, but I’m joking with the staff that my next project will be set in Seoul, so they don’t have to go to the countryside and practically live there (like for “My Country”), hahaha. There is a project that I want to create for myself. A bright and healing work. After I transferred companies, I was told I could do what I want, so the first thing I filmed was the drama “Just Between Lovers”. After that, someday at least once, I want to try making a drama about the story of the Sewol issue. Nothing exciting, but the kind of story that heals the trauma.

[tossawary]

Chapter 26 “ What You Want” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary.

Oh, this got so long, though. I was like, “An opportunity to wax poetic about Moshang dynamics and characterization? An opportunity to talk about why my interpretations of Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua are Like That? SIGN ME UP.” 

-

【Beginning next mission stage.】

【Death of the Author - Part 2: The Secret Basement of Shang Qinghua.】  

【Mission objective: place the Weeper’s Eye on the pedestal.】

Shang Qinghua slowly sits up on his sofa. He stares at the pop-up window for however long it takes his brain to roll over completely.

“I don’t have a fucking basement?” he says finally.

- 

AN: I have been waiting to use “I don’t have a fucking basement?” for months. Also, it’s been years for him, so Shang Qinghua is a little oblivious, BUT I would like to point readers all the way back to some paragraphs from Chapter 2. 

Excerpt from Chapter 2: “A Horseshoe Nail”:  

Shang Qinghua considers the point loss. What are his excuses character motivations here? Why is his unmerciful System not completely skewering him for this?

He is the servant of a demon lord, Mobei-Jun, the future Northern King, so he has a greater investment than most cultivators in the future of the Demon Realm, so it’s not unreasonable for him to seek out any bastards of Tianlang-Jun without handing the demon baby over to a righteous sect. He’s also a Peak Lord of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, so it’s not unreasonable for him to be interested in any rumors of the whereabouts of Su Xiyan or what happened to her, for political leverage or whatever. The character of Shang Qinghua originally was and still is a spy - on top of being a shameless coward willing to cling to anyone’s thighs and then stab them in the back, in order to stay alive or advance himself.

There are plenty of magical artifacts in this world that might give a power-grubbing weakling like Shang Qinghua an insight into the future. As Peak Lord of An Ding, Shang Qinghua is, in fact, in a pretty good place to get his greedy hands on one of these magical artifacts. Isn’t that what a good spy and overall ambitious snake would do?

 Especially a spy serving a demon lord extremely likely to get fed up with him and kill him at some point? While also serving a righteous cultivation sect extremely likely to execute him for eventually betraying them? Of course Shang Qinghua would obviously want to know how to save his own ass from these ticking time-bombs! And how better to save his own ass than shamelessly clinging to the golden thighs of the protagonist, who will one day conquer every other demon lord and all righteous sects?

Following Luo Binghe means being on the endgame winning team!

Shang Qinghua looks over the pop-up window’s numbers over again, in regards to the loss of points. True, how exactly he tracked down Su Xiyan’s half-demon baby when the Huan Hua Palace Master failed is a bit of a plot-hole, but the rest can be easily explained away with a bit of creativity!

Oh, the rest of the cultivation world didn’t know Su Xiyan was pregnant? Well, Shang Qinghua is a slimy, sneaky spy, who would of course guess that a female cultivator might suddenly disappear like that for months-on-end due to a secret pregnancy! And given that Su Xiyan’s reputation had been linked to a passionately self-destructive Tianlang-Jun… Okay, he can feel the anti-fan rage at that mildly sexist line of thinking, but it stands! It stands!

Now, Shang Qinghua just has to… actually decide… whether or not he wants to take the point loss, in order to save the life of his protagonist son’s adoptive mother, Luo Jiahui. 

Shang Qinghua, my darling fool of an Author God, your System is listening to the things you say and think. 

I have been WORKING here to foreshadow where I’m going with this story. I’m pretty sure that every single endgame plot point has shown up and is now in play in PINTWILF. Shang Qinghua, due to situational awareness, is dealing with too much in-world shit to narrow things down easily, but it’s all there! It will hopefully not seem as though I’m pulling things out of nowhere in the next and final part (Part 4) of this fic. 

-

“This makes me look crazy, bro,” Shang Qinghua  complains to the System. “It really does. I already have to be careful about talking to the secret, world-controlling system that lives in my head and this? This is not making me look any more stable! Where did this come from? Where the fuck did I even get it?! ”

Oh, things are coming together in Shang Qinghua’s head and he doesn’t know if he really likes the picture. On one hand, it’s always nice to actually have someone or something to blame for things beyond the fucking System. On the other hand, he really doesn’t know how the fuck he’s supposed to sleep at night with a full-length, polished silver mirror with an ornate golden frame under his house. 

- 

AN: Shang Qinghua, have you noticed that you’ve stopped losing points for continuity errors and plot holes? Shang Qinghua, you know that the people in your life have noticed that you know too much. They’ve just decided not to question you about it because you always look like you’re going to faint when they do, then you laugh and change the subject. 

But now Shen Qingqiu is on to you and he’s not so easy to shake. 

(Plus Shen Yuan! They’re terriers, SQH!) 

- 

He turns away from the mirror, only for a second System window to pop up in front of him. Only… the design of this one is different. Familiar, though! It takes Shang Qinghua a second to place it as Peerless Cucumber- as Shen Yuan’s Transmigration System.

 【 Users cannot be injured, killed, or trapped inside the looking-glass! The user will not be able to touch or be touched by anything inside the looking-glass! The user will be returned from the looking-glass within thirty minutes, unharmed! A substantial point reward is attached to this bonus mission. 】

“Right,” Shang Qinghua says.

This second pop-up window then shifts colors and is ruthlessly closed before his eyes. Ah, wow, Shang Qinghua kind of feels like he just saw someone get murdered here.

“...How many points?” he asks finally, reluctantly curious.

- 

AN: Having the Systems fight is so much fun. My setup here in PINTWILF has it so that there’s a main Worldbuilding System that does its best to maintain the world, then each transmigrator has their own personal Transmigration System managing their case. 

This is so the Worldbuilding System can maintain the world without the presence of transmigrators, and so the personal Systems can potentially follow their transmigrators into another world. All the Systems interact with each other in order to try to manage things and there are... issues.  

Look, the thing about simulated (or managed) realities for me is... someone coded the thing (or did some equivalent of coding the thing), and whether or not this thing in question is the world or just the System, if there are multiple entities trying to manage things, there’s going to be fuck-ups. You can’t have two cooks in the kitchen without points where the two cooks get in each other’s way at least a little bit. If there are multiple Systems, then you’re going to have friction, and that friction can be funny. 

Inspired by me trying to run two heavy art programs on my computer at once and being like, “Oh, boy, please don’t burst into flames while duking it out in there. Oh, man, you two were NOT made to operate together, huh?” 

- 

He knows he’s right when he walks away from some kind of important-looking procession, stepping into the next room at the same time as someone else, who looks directly at him and doesn’t look away. Shang Qinghua freezes in the doorway and doesn’t let himself stare so much as he can’t stop himself.

 “Oh, no,” Shang Qinghua thinks.

There’s a man standing in front of him, tall and broad-shouldered, with an ageless youth, but a sharp gaze and no youthful roundness to his features. His curly black hair has been cursorily held back from his face by a golden ornament, but is otherwise loose, and he wears his ornate red and black robes well and correctly, but like a man with a hundred more.

The man flicks a strong hand at the doors behind Shang Qinghua, which slam shut with a bang, like he’s done this a thousand times before.

He smiles unkindly. “Shang-Shishu,” he says, like he’s tasting the title, considering tearing it apart with his teeth. “So it's true. How curious.”

There’s no way for Shang Qinghua to count how many times he’s seen this face before, but he’s never seen it like this. The man looks like an emperor. He looks like a god. The red mark of the Heavenly Demons burns like a crown in the middle of his forehead.

Shang Qinghua takes an unwilling step back.

“What are you afraid of?” the original Luo Binghe says, still smiling. “We’re only talking.”

- 

AN: I tried to make this meeting mirror Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe’s first scene in Part 3 of the fic, in which we finally meet the Luo Binghe (Shang Qinghua’s nephew) who is going to interact with the PIDW plot. 

Excerpt from Chapter 18: “The Inevitable Plot”: 

The restaurant is closed when Shang Qinghua lets himself in. The tables in the dining room are still packed up, lit by dim light through shuttered windows, and the only sign of another person are the chopping sounds coming from the brightness of the kitchen. Shang Qinghua stops in the doorway and lets himself stare.

There’s a young teenage boy standing at the counter, thirteen going on fourteen, still not yet near his adult height (taller than Shang Qinghua, a fact he's still not prepared to face), still carrying a youthful roundness to his features. Shang Qinghua has seen him like this a hundred times before: curly black hair tied back, a kerchief covering his head to keep it out of his eyes, a slightly yellowed matching apron neatly tied just the way his mother taught him, and intent on the work in front of him. His hands are quick, the knife sharp and sure, and the movements of food preparation work slide right into each other like he’s done this a thousand times before.

When did the boy get so big? It didn’t happen all at once; it snuck up on them, hiding dastardly in plain sight! Shang Qinghua remembers when his nephew barely came up to his waist. Fuck, Shang Qinghua remembers when his nephew couldn’t walk. What is this? Who allowed time to pass like this?

Luo Binghe scrapes the chopped vegetables off the board and into the basket beside him, before putting down the knife and turning around. He smiles.

There’s no way for Shang Qinghua to count how many times he’s seen that before.

“Uncle,” the protagonist says fondly. “You’re here.”

- 

“Let’s talk,” Luo Binghe calls out, cajoling now. “Stop running and speak to me and perhaps old hurts can be forgiven. All that condonation and betrayal is so far in the past now. This lord can be merciful, Shang Qinghua. Just speak: how many things have you been hiding...?”

- 

AN: This is PIDW Luo Binghe, by the way. 

Once I realized I was going to have a room full of fortune-telling devices, I was like... “Ooh! Bing-Ge scene! I should have a Bing-Ge scene!” Because, like, that’s the curse of SVSSS transmigrator protagonists who trip into caring about Luo Binghe, baby! 

- 

Shang Qinghua takes some deep breaths to calm his poor, weak heart, and nearly falls to the floor anyway! But he catches himself!

And then a large, cold hand wraps around his arm to steady him. It’s the cold that keeps him from lashing out and probably breaking his own hand. Instead, he looks up, heart still pounding in his ears, into the frowning face of Mobei-Jun.

“Oh, you have the worst timing,” Shang Qinghua breathes.

Mobei-Jun’s expression twitches and he lets go.

“No!” Shang Qinghua chases the hand with his own, catching it before the man can get too far. “My king, I’m so glad to see you! Thank you for finally coming! I have so much to say,” he says quickly. “I-”

Before he realizes that he’s essentially holding Mobei-Jun’s hand for no reason now - ah, now that’s something he never would have dared to do like twenty years ago - and carefully drops it. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm the panic still racing through his veins. And then promptly realizes that Mobei-Jun is here. The demon lord is here in this secret basement.

- 

AN: Moshang in this fic is... hmmm... a little weird sometimes, because a lot of it has been happening in the background. A lot of it has been unspoken until Shang Qinghua’s breakdown and until now. 

Shang Qinghua isn’t actually as scared of Mobei-Jun in this fic as he is in SVSSS, and I hope that comes across. When he had his breakdown, part of it was fear, but a large part of it was also actually anger. Shang Qinghua was afraid of how the System had changed his life, but he was also angry about this loss of control. Yes, he was terrified of Mobei-Jun because he didn’t know if it was still his Mobei-Jun, which brought lots of old memories and old anger to the surface, in which Shang Qinghua was kind of like, “How dare you think you get to freely touch me after the things you did and never apologized for?” 

BUT the status quo in this world, before the World Update, is one in which Mobei-Jun touches Shang Qinghua’s hip without SQH flinching. It’s one in which SQH and MBJ drink and relax together. It’s one in which SQH isn’t afraid to reach out and grab MBJ’s hand, because he misses MBJ. 

They’re so close, they just need to actually talk it out. 

- 

Shang Qinghua glances at the ladder and the open hole in the floor. “Ah, my king, did you… climb down here looking for me?”

“Yes,” Mobei-Jun answers, looking around with sharp eyes. He doesn’t seem to be very impressed with what he’s seeing. “...What is this place?”

“My, ah, my basement,” Shang Qinghua answers, leaving out the part where he didn’t even know he had one until about an hour ago. The System is determined to make him look like a bit of a madman, huh? “It’s just… just some artifacts and tools. I don’t… I don’t really come down here a lot…”

Mobei-Jun finishes studying the room, then stares at him again, his gaze more piercing than ever.

“The future concerns you this much?” he says.

Shang Qinghua is totally prepared to deny everything, but the phrasing of that cuts off every story he might try to tell. He glances around the room, full of these broken, desperate, stolen things. It’s… reflecting.

“...Yes,” he admits, hoarsely. Then coughs. “I… my king, we should… talk.”

“Yes,” Mobei-Jun agrees.

“But, ah, not here? I don’t… like it here.”

“Yes.”

-

AN: Mobei-Jun is one of the people who has noticed that Shang Qinghua knows more than he should. And now, thanks to this secret basement, Mobei-Jun has an explanation for why Shang Qinghua knows more than he should! 

If you don’t know about the System element, then this basement is actually pretty in-character for the new Shang Qinghua of PINTWILF. 

He is so scared of the future. He’s invested in the story now. 

- 

Shang Qinghua isn’t surprised at all when the special item speaks again as soon as it’s back in his hand.

Why would it shut up now, after all?

 “He has no name but the position he has been promised to, which he may not live to see,” the Weeper’s Eye says, which pulls Shang Qinghua’s gaze back to the demon lord waiting for him. “His father uses him as a tool. His mother is long departed. His uncle wants him dead. He has long known that these broken promises cannot be undone… but he knows new promises may yet be made.”

Mobei-Jun is frowning at the crystal eye in Shang Qinghua’s hand, looking between it and Shang Qinghua’s own eyes.

He’s not dressed-up the same way he was the last time Shang Qinghua saw him - no especially fancy robes or ornaments or jewelry. He looks like himself this time.  

 “If these ones are not kept, there will be nothing for the nameless man who will be king.”

Shang Qinghua doesn’t move.

- 

AN: I mentioned exploring Mobei-Jun not having a name in the commentary on the previous chapter. I guess that’s my take on PIDW Mobei-Jun... that the man doesn’t really have anything outside of his position. He’s a king, in service to a tyrant, and he’s never going to let anyone in. He’s just... cold... the whole way through. PIDW Mobei-Jun has an icy throne and nothing else. 

PINTWILF (and SVSSS) Mobei-Jun has the Airplane version of Shang Qinghua. When Airplane saved MBJ’s life, the System wasn’t making him do it, he made that choice for himself. The System was willing to let MBJ die (and, in my headcanon, be replaced by some ice demon cousin or LGJ). So, MBJ turns around and chooses Shang Qinghua for himself. 

Shang Qinghua was like, “No! This character can’t be replaced! You can’t just dress someone else up as Mobei-Jun! You can’t just let the character die! It has to be this man in that role! No one else!” 

When Mobei-Jun is coming to talk to Shang Qinghua in this fic, in this moment, he is making this choice for himself, the nameless man who has been promised a position he might not live to see. That’s what the Weeper’s Eye is getting at. If Shang Qinghua doesn’t want to hear the promises Mobei-Jun is will to make him, there might as well not be anything in Mobei-Jun’s future to make him an individual, more than a cold figure acting out a part. 

- 

“...Shang Qinghua,” Mobei-Jun says finally. “I will not hurt you.”

Shang Qinghua’s gaze snaps from the crystal eye in his hand, back to the demon lord standing by the exit to this secret basement.

“We will speak,” Mobei-Jun says solemnly, slowly, like someone repeating the lines of a script. “I wish to be understood by you. I have not known how. Yet I must try now… in my own words… and you must listen.”

Shang Qinghua swallows.

The anger - the frustration - breaking through at the end there sounds more like the man he knows. He’s pretty sure that’s meant to be a request, but it sounds like an order.

-

AN: After their last conversation, Mobei-Jun had a lot of soul-searching to do, and one of the conclusions he came to is that he can’t take anything for granted. He has to made explicitly clear, using words, which is apparently what matters with humans and with this human in particular, everything he feels. He can’t take the risk of continuing to hurt Shang Qinghua by letting the man think that he doesn’t regret hurting him or may hurt him again someday. 

-

He puts the Weeper’s Eye down.

He’s really sick of this thing. He doesn't want to carry it around all the time.

It only tells him things he knows, anyway.

- 

AN: We’ll get into the Weeper’s Eye in future chapters, but it’s... it’s not really a mind-reading device. It kind of is. It is a little bit. But part of the reason it’s so informative here is that Shang Qinghua is holding it and Shang Qinghua actually knows a lot about his characters and the people in his life. 

Even the original characters, like Fanli, he knows well. She’s his family. He’s privy to Fanli’s problems through Jiahui and Liu Qingge if nothing else. 

With Shen Yuan, he doesn’t know the kid well yet, but his fellow transmigrator isn’t that difficult to read and he’s been where Shen Yuan is. 

Shang Qinghua putting the Weeper’s Eye down here is a show of trust of sorts. It’s a way of telling himself to get out of his own head, away from character roles and exaggerated panic, and put himself in the moment with someone he knows and... well... trusts and wants to trust even more. 

- 

Shang Qinghua follows Mobei-Jun out of the basement, removing the spiritual seal from the wall, which makes the creepy basement entrance disappear, then replacing the flower that covered it. He hesitantly follows the demon lord back to the main room of his Leisure House. He has no idea how to stand, suddenly, or where to stand.

Mobei-Jun looks very determined.

“So, ah, should we… sit?”

“No,” Mobei-Jun replies, then abruptly says, “Shang Qinghua, you do not have to fear me. I do not wish to cause you any pain. Now or in the future.”

Shang Qinghua stares, wide-eyed.

That’s not… something he ever expected to hear explicitly.

Good! It's good, though! Very good.

It's great, really.

“...Thank you,” he says, stunned. “I don’t want to cause you pain either?”

“You have shown as much. Many times.”

This is probably not the time for an “Yes, I did tell you so” in any form!

Instead, trying to remember all the speeches he prepared while waiting, Shang Qinghua says, “You have too! In your own way! I just… my king, last time you visited was a… it was a very bad day for me. I apologize for my behavior! I was speaking from a place of-”

“Fear,” Mobei-Jun interrupts darkly. “Well-deserved.”

“Ah, well…”

“You believed that I would hurt you, in your state,” Mobei-Jun says.

“I was… it was very a bad and confused state, my king.”

“...You do not trust me.”

Shang Qinghua’s voice dries up on him. He wouldn’t put it that way, exactly! That sounds pretty terrible when said in such a blunt way. They’ve moved past that, haven’t they? It’s more that he trusts different people with different things! He trusts Luo Jiahui to be Luo Jiahui, and Liu Qingge to be Liu Qingge, and Mobei-Jun… to be Mobei-Jun.

- 

AN: Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun got really far without explicitly talking about things, but at some point that stopped cutting it. 

- 

“I have hurt you before,” Mobei-Jun says, looking at him directly. “From a place of fear… of anger… of… misunderstanding. I am… sorry for this. I will not do so again. I was wrong to treat you in such a way.”

Shang Qinghua takes in a deep breath… and out again.

Fuck, it feels like his eyes are burning.

“You have my respect,” Mobei-Jun says quietly, urgently, not letting up on getting all of these words out into the open. “You have my regard. You have my trust. Yet I have not shown this in a way that you have understood, so you could not share this. I have demanded your loyalty without being deserving of it.”

“My king,” Shang Qinghua protests, taking a step forward. “I was- I should have said-”

“You did. Many times. In many ways. I did not understand.”

“I wasn’t very clear either-”

“It was my responsibility to be clear. I must be clear now.”

“You’re being very clear now,” Shang Qinghua agrees quickly. If things get any clearer here, if any more of the things they’ve left unspoken get said, his heart won’t be able to take it. “Thank you, my king. It means- thank you."

Mobei-Jun nods. He looks relieved.

-

AN: I wanted to write a version of Moshang that felt... a little more mature? Shang Qinghua has developed a lot in this fic. He has grown as a person. And Mobei-Jun has seen this growth over the years. 

Mobei-Jun has also been able to see into this Shang Qinghua in a way that wasn’t available in SVSSS canon. I think that SVSSS Shang Qinghua was locked the fuck down. I think he was almost completely inaccessible and offered very, very few openings for connection. 

But in this universe, Mobei-Jun actually knows a lot more about Shang Qinghua. He knows what motivates Shang Qinghua. He knows that Shang Qinghua is a doting uncle and a doting older brother. He knows that Shang Qinghua has come to care for his sect. He knows that Shang Qinghua is intelligent and resourceful and funny. They drink together and talk politics! Mobei-Jun knows that Shang Qinghua is loyal and tired and trustworthy. 

So... there was an opening here that didn’t exist in SVSSS canon. 

And Mobei-Jun took it. 

- 

Shang Qinghua knows that cultural differences are a hell of a thing here, but everything being understandable in hindsight didn't make it not fucking hurt. It still hurts, even finally having the apology he never thought he'd get.

"...We’ve been pretty bad at understanding each other, huh?”

“It has often seemed as though we were not meant to meet,” the demon lord says softly.

Shang Qinghua, who can't imagine getting through his transmigration experience without meeting this man, thinks over all the unknowing irony in that statement.

"...Maybe."

“The differences are… significant.”

Shang Qinghua laughs, almost disbelieving. “That’s a word for it!”

"But not impassable."

"Ah… I… hope not."

- 

AN: I’ll probably make a separate post for this, but I love Moshang transmigrator reveals. Bingqiu transmigrator reveals are mostly about the Abyss, which is great, because that needs clearing up. MOSHANG transmigrator reveals are like, “My weak human husband is a god???” 

Also love it when MBJ is like, “Yes, this makes sense.” 

- 

“I have never known what you have wanted from me,” Mobei-Jun says next, like a confession. “Your life, you have said, time and time again. Though I am only alive by your grace. You demand none of what you deserve of me.”

“...I don’t think ‘deserve’ is a good word for this,” Shang Qinghua says, which probably isn’t the right thing to say, but he’s really too stunned to come up with anything better. He really didn’t prepare for the right conversation here. “Aha, sorry, my king. It’s just… I don’t think I like to think about it in terms of ‘owing’ anymore. Between us. At least… not like some sort of strict balance? I do something nice for you, you owe me. You do something bad to me, I get to hurt you. Not… not like that.”

Mobei-Jun thinks about it.

“Sorry, I don’t really know what I’m saying-”

“You are deserving of better than what I have given you,” Mobei-Jun insists, determinedly. “I do not understand you. I have never understood you.”

Shang Qinghua feels the same way.

“But I would like to,” Mobei-Jun says next. “I would if you would allow it.”

- 

AN: Mobei-Jun is only alive because Shang Qinghua saved him and he knows it! And Shang Qinghua has never made the demands he should have made, having that kind of leverage over Mobei-Jun! 

I’ve always wondered if this is deeply romantic by demon standards. Like, not inherently romantic. But I would bet that Mobei-Jun really likes the idea of a relationship where no one is keeping score... no one is granting favors to use like a leash of obligation... no one owes the other things they don’t want to give. I would bet that Mobei-Jun really, really likes the idea of a relationship where affection is freely given because the people in it want to give it. 

He does feel as though he owes Shang Qinghua, but I think Mobei-Jun likes the idea that his favor is his to give just because he wants to give it. 

-

Mobei-Jun lifts a hand, slowly, and holds it out.

Shang Qinghua thinks about it.

He thinks about it again.

He reaches back and puts his hand in Mobei-Jun’s own, which is as cool to the touch as always, and moves over his skin carefully. His hold is so light that Shang Qinghua could break it without any issue at all.

They stay there, like that, looking at each other.

Looking at their hands, holding without hurting, after everything. It's such a small gesture.

It feels kind of like a miracle.

-

AN: I am... a huge fucking sucker for Mobei-Jun holding Shang Qinghua waaaaay too lightly because he won’t risk hurting Shang Qinghua again. Like, this man is going to take it from the top. No more assumptions. 

- 

“What do you want, Shang Qinghua?” Mobei-Jun says, voice turning up at the end, in the closest thing that the man might ever come to helplessness. “What do you want from this?”

“I…” Shang Qinghua wipes at his burning eyes with his free hand. This is kind of pitiful. “Fuck.”

Mobei-Jun lifts his free hand and uses his own sleeve to wipe at Shang Qinghua’s tears, like his robes aren’t important to him at all. “Ask,” the man says, in the tone of a promise. “You do not have to fear the future. Anything I have to give is yours.”

Shang Qinghua gives up on trying to speak and just moves forward to bury his face in Mobei-Jun’s chest. Fuck it. The demon lord who was supposed to kill his character lets him do it. Mobei-Jun holds on to him, arms heavy but still so careful, the man’s chest moving in a sigh that sounds like relief.

This really was too many unspoken things to finally say aloud all at once.

- 

AN: So, yeah! That’s what I’m been building up to with the Jiahui/Qingge marriage and the Qijiu fights and makeup, getting Shang Qinghua to think about what he wants from his relationship with Mobei-Jun. Luo Jiahui and Shen Qingqiu have basically been throwing the question at him repeatedly: “What do you want from this life, Shang Qinghua?” 

Because it can’t all be plot! You’ve taken your family for yourself, but you can have more than that! You’ve made so many choices already... you can take this last step and make this choice too. Let Mobei-Jun in. 

A lot of Moshang plots end up being “Shang Qinghua’s inability to communicate versus Mobei-Jun’s inability to communicate”. Which is great! That’s Moshang! And some external issue (a rival demon lord, Linguang-Jun, etc.) will end up being the secondary plot which acts as a scenario pusher for the primary plot of the Moshang relationship. Again, great stuff! 

But since the romance isn’t the focus of this fic, I decided it would be fun to have a more “Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun versus the problem” take. (Which also shows up in lots of Moshang fics! Definitely not exclusive to this fic at all!) I’m looking forward to having Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun actually try and tackle problems together, as a couple, inside the main “Family of Choice” plot. 

Which isn’t to say that Moshang have totally worked out their relationship here. They have only just gotten together. Mobei-Jun still has issues. Shang Qinghua still has many issues. They’ve got a lot to work out together. They’ve never been in a relationship like this before and there’s a lot of people out there who would object to their relationship! Their relationship is going to continue to grow as the fic continues. They’re going to have a few bumps in the road. 

But I really like the idea of Mobei-Jun being Shang Qinghua’s rock in this fic. This man has been so stressed. He needs a hug from his ice demon boyfriend who can soothe headaches with a hand. 

-

When Shang Qinghua feels like he has himself more under control, he draws back just far enough to say, “My king, will you kiss me?”

Mobei-Jun’s expression is already soft, at least by his standards. His gaze turns hooded before he leans down as Shang Qinghua leans up. Shang Qinghua takes the man’s face between his hands to kiss him. It feels nice, if uncertain, with the hunger of something a long time coming at the end of it. There's years worth of wanting in this.

It has been so fucking long since Shang Qinghua kissed anyone.

He breaks the kiss and has to stifle laughter, clinging to the front of Mobei-Jun’s robes, which the man never closes properly, so now Shang Qinghua is never going to be able to not thinking about touching it. It’s a very nice chest to touch. He knew it would be.

Mobei-Jun’s brow furrows slightly, his hands staying on Shang Qinghua’s hips.

“What?”

Ah, sorry! Sorry, my king! It’s just- this is such a ridiculous detail to get stuck on, but your lips are kind of cold? I’ve, ah, I’ve always kind of wondered,” Shang Qinghua confesses quietly, without really meaning to actually say it. Holy shit, he’s going to blame saying something like this after that on the fact that he’s had a very long and very weird day. “Sorry. I'm really tired. It's fine. It's good.”

Mobei-Jun snorts and kisses him again, as if to say, “Deal with it.”

- 

AN: Cute! Mobei-Jun likes it when Shang Qinghua laughs. I stand by this.

[hsmtmts-justsomewriting]

Not to be your stereotypical second semester senior but EJ Caswell is a bit too busy to be thinking about sports metaphors...

(Alternative title- overcommitted..sounds like a Caswell)

Senior year was insanely busy. Being so overwhelmed EJ had been slowing down over the last couple weeks, but he was brushing it off just fine.

EJ has arrived late that day, which was unusual in itself, as he prides himself on being on time. Holding a half eaten packet of Oreos he shuffled into the rehearsal room slumping on the bleachers away from his chattering cast mates.

“EJ honey great you could join us, you’d think a senior couldn’t get lost in the halls!” Miss Jenn giggled at her own joke as the cast were suddenly alerted to the older boys presence. EJ absentmindedly nodded and grabbed out his script.

“Yeah...sorry..um...where are we at?”

“Page 63” “Cool... thanks”

Flipping to that part in the script, he looks up to take in the scene. Kourtney, Gina, Seb and Carlos are clearly half way through blocking a castle scene- Carlos complaining his arms are tired from ‘staying in character’, Kourtney and Seb working out where they are going to come in from and how to negotiate Sebs big box costume (although it’s proving very difficult considering the rehearsal room is about a quarter of the size of the stage) and Gina is animatedly discussing the scene choices with Miss Jenn.

Within an instant, EJ is startled from the scene as Natalie is beside him rambling something about ‘needing a fill in for cogworth’ ‘went home sick’. Sauntering up with his script, EJ’s vision goes spotted as he gets up from the bleachers. But as soon as it comes it’s gone.

He just needs to get through this rehearsal, then he can; go home, finish his debate speech, go over the plays for Friday’s waterpolo match, study for tomorrow’s maths assessment, start his exam notes, memorise his lines, work on his college applications, and maybe even get some sleep.

Joining the cast he tries to hide in the back corner. Following the basic blocking directions seemed harder than usual, his head had began to pound and fatigue hit him like a wave.

However he continued on, sluggish but present helping them to finish blocking the scene.

Walking back to his place on the bleachers EJ trips over his own feet. Catching himself before a big splat on the floor he is able to avoid the attention of his cast mates. Well mostly.

“EJ are you ok?”

EJ didn’t need to look up to know that his cousin had definitely seen his little trip.

“Yep fine”

“Ok try again but this time make it the truth”

Ashlyn was caring but firm, she definitely wasn’t going to brush it off. EJ could feel his facade fading under her concerned gaze. His voice drops low.

“I-i just don’t know... Ash, I’m trying-“

“ON TO THE NEXT SCENE Gaston and Le Fou, I need you boys to start down stage right”

EJ got up slowly, subtly steadying himself against a chair not to lose balance.

“Nevermind it’ll be fine”

EJ walks off, with that any vulnerablity on face vanishing, leaving Ashlyn’s stomach to churn in a pool of worry.

Being an after school rehearsal, most of the cast heads off after they start rehearsing the next scene as it only has Gaston and Le Fou. Leaving the rehearsal room with just Miss Jenn, Big Red, EJ, Ashlyn and Gina (the latter two who were waiting on the senior for a ride home).

EJ and Big Red slowly work through the dialogue, the scene is about as smooth as a clunky old railway track. After running it twice EJ feels like his words are melding into one. But pushing through, based off his poor entrenched habits, EJ made it through another run through of the scene.

“Um can we take a five?”

Miss Jenn looks at the senior perplexed, he’s never asked for a five. Ever.

“EJ honey is everything ok?”

“Hm, yeah just need a sec”

EJ’s exhausation catches up with him, the light seems to highlight the bags under his eyes. He drops onto the bleachers, resting his head in his hands he closes his eyes for a second.

“Miss Jenn, EJ doesn’t look so good maybe you guys should wrap this up for today-”

“Ash I’m-“

“No. You look exhausted! You barely have the energy to stand up for 10 minutes”

Ashlyn moves to grab him his drink bottle but runs into his iced coffee and Oreo packet first. She flinches. Her cousin never drinks coffee unless he purely needs the caffeine.

EJ freezes she moment he realises she’s seen it.

“When was the last time you slept?!”

All eyes are on him.

“James” His head snapped up. But he couldn’t look his cousin in the eye. Because then she’d see his eyes are glassy with unshed tears. His overwhelmed thoughts race through his mind.

“Ok I think we’ll pick this up next rehearsal, please be safe getting home and get some rest”

The four students start to pack up their bags, Ashlyn asking her boyfriend to give them all a lift. Turning to her cousin, helps him finish packing his stuff.

“You can stay in the guest room, we’re having lasagna tonight”

EJ too tired to protest, walks past his Jeep in the parking lot to get in a smaller orange bug car. He’ll have to come back for it tomorrow because there’s no way he could drive safely in his tired state.

The car ride home was eerily quiet, Ashlyn day in the passenger seat next to Big Red. He drove to Ashlyn’s house like a routine he knew by heart. Gina keep flicking worried glances at EJ but the senior didn’t even notice, having closed his eyes and resting against the window the moment he entered the car.

“Thanks for the ride Biggie”

Gina gentley nudged EJ and his eyes were open in an instant.

“Thanks Red” He mumbled as he got out of the car.

“No worries, take care guys”

As the orange car was disappearing into the distance, Ashlyn unlocked the front door. Gina and EJ follow her into the house.

“James lets go the living room”

EJ follows Ashlyn to the couch, and Gina continues past to grab a drink of water from the kitchen.

“What’s going on?”

Ashlyn puts a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezes it, grounding him and reminding him that she’s here to listen. He looks at the faded colourful rug and his words begin to vomit out softly.

“I’m just trying to get it all done ...and um.. for weeks I just never seem to have enough time, and I still have to do my study notes and finish my assessment and college apps tonight... but I’m just so tired...”

His voice cracks and the wall behind his eyes begin to break.

“I have to stay up so late, to get everything I have to all done...and then polo practice at the crack of dawn... i don’t know.. I just can’t... let anyone down..”

Ashlyn pulls EJ in tightly. His body wracked with sobs, her heart breaks as she hasn’t seen him like this in a long time. Gina initially freezes entering the room just as the senior had begun to cry but soon shifts over beside them engulfing them both in a hug.

Grabbing some tissues and a sip of water he’s able to stop his crying but his tense shoulders give away his overwhelmed mind.

“it will be ok, we’ll work this out. Everyone else will understand if everything is not done right now. You’ve got to take better care of yourself, what matters is if you are ok”

Gina nods in agreeance with Ashlyn as she comforts EJ.

“But for now you need to take a break, just have a quick nap before dinner in the guest room-“

“But I have to-“

“No James you need a rest, all this stuff can come later”

He sluggishly gets up heading for the guest room mumbling a “thanks Ash” as he retreats to his long awaited rest.

After he closes the door, Ashlyn lets out the breath she had been holding. She was convinced they would have to put up more of a fight to get him to go to sleep, but the fact that they didn’t was almost more concerning.

“He did seem a little bit off earlier in the week but yeah I had no idea that this was under the surface”

Gina says to break the silence created by her and Ashlyn’s shocked worry.

“Yeah he’s always been pretty good at bottling this stuff up, definitely a Caswell skill”

Ashlyn starts to pick up the tissues heading to the bin in the kitchen. Both the girls enter the kitchen to finish heating up the leftover lasagna they made yesterday.

While cooking the veggies the girls trade stories of earlier in the day and discuss the spotting of Miss Jenn and Mr Mazzarra at Sliced on Valentine’s. Just as they’re plating up, EJ reappears. He looks somewhat disheveled, wearing sweats and his usually spiked hair is messy like a 2012 Bieber hairstyle. His contacts are long gone being traded for his wide framed glasses.

“Feeling any better?”

Bringing the plates to the table they all sit in their usual seats.

“Yeah a little...thanks guys this looks amazing”

As if on cue his stomach grumbles with excitement and they dig into the food. The three teens continue to tell stories of their day. Although exhausted, a goofy smile makes its way onto EJ’s face while telling the girls about his classmate in English that tried justify his argument quoting spark notes, instead of the actual book.

Once they’re finished, EJ stacks and clears away the plates. Grabbing her laptop, Ashlyn creates a new copy of one of her old timetables modified with all EJ’s stuff. After cleaning the dishes, EJ plops down beside her and together they start to work out.

Half an hour and a warm hot chocolate later, they manage to finish a schedule that looks like it fit a bit of time for everything while keeping a heathy amount of rest time.

“Thank you so much Ash... I really appreciate it”

Ashlyn smiles back at her cousin.

“Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself, or at least you’ll let me know if you need help”

EJ engulfs her in a hug.

“Yeah I will, thanks”

As they both move to join Gina in the lounge room, EJ grabs his laptop to start completing his speech. Flopping down onto the couch, the tv is turned onto a Brooklyn Nine Nine halloween heist episode.

Taking EJs laptop at 9:30, the older boy fell asleep within an instant. Keeping to his promise, he followed the schedule he made with Ashlyn (most of the time at least) and finally learnt how to ask for help when he realised he couldn’t do it alone. And when he asked for help, Ashlyn and Gina were always there with an extra mug of hot chocolate.

Thanks for reading! I’m open to write prompts or suggestions

(...Also if anyone can think of any better names for this please comment because all my thoughts were low key trash😂)