#I think the last one I posted was over a year ago

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Only for You

jace x f!twin!reader

anon request 

Summary: You and Jacaerys have been secretly meeting in the middle of the night and soon you become pregnant. You’ve been kept in your chambers to avoid prying eyes and it’s caused tension and resentment to rise between the two of you. Jacaerys comes up with a plan that will help all parties. 

Warnings: 18+ swearing, cheating, breeding kink, fingering, oral(f), p in v, brief preg!reader, angst for a sec but were good!

Authors Note: i’m actually always scared to write and post for jace! -which may or may not be the reason this took me some time to get to you- also no specific timeline but they’re on dragonstone — a g a i n  im so sorry this took me so long thank you for your patience i appreciate you 🥹👉🏻👈🏻

Word Count: 3.1k

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

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‘This is the last time.’ 

A phrase you’ve heard almost daily over the past year. You and Jace have always been close but about a year ago something really clicked and settled between the both of you. You both had felt the pull far longer than that but finally decided to act upon it.

Even if he denies it. 

Even if half of the nights he insinuates it. 

Tonight he has kept you waiting longer than normal so you decide to make your way to his chambers.

“You shouldn’t be in here.” Jace watches as you take small steps with your candle, drawing out the act. “My betrothed is just down the hall.” he sits up a little taller as you approach, allowing himself to have an unobstructed view of you.

“Must you always bring her up before you split me open?” you sigh. “I’m the one here in your chambers.” you set the candle on his night stand. “I’m the one who you fill nightly. The one who will carry your heir.” his will is bending as it always does when you start to climb into his bed with your translucent slip. 

“I only bring her up in hopes I’ll learn restraint.” his hands wrap around your waist as he pulls you on top of him. “But how could I when you throw yourself at me?” he hums. 

“Throw myself at you?” you chuckle, leaning down allowing your hair to curtain around the both of you. “I wonder if that’s what you call it when you come into my chambers at night? Hm?” your lips ghost over his. 

“I don’t come into your chambers at night.” you lift your head up and laugh at his words. 

“Then who, pray tell, comes into my chambers at night and ruts into me saying he wants me to carry his-

“No more.” he bucks his hips and flips the both of you. “This is the last time.” the look in his eyes says everything but. 

“I’m starting to think that is just an excuse to fuck me as hard as you possibly can.” your eyes are filled with amusement. 

“You’ve never had an issue with it.” he feigns like he’s going to kiss you but goes to your neck to mark you. “Gets you soaked every time.” he smiles when he finds you lacking small clothes. “Coming in here and just serving your cunny to me.” he circles your bud and you arch into him. 

“Only for you,” you pant. “My King.” he smashes his lips to yours. 

You whimper into his mouth when you feel his cock slide through your wetness. He starts to kiss down your neck as he rocks his hips faster. “Tonight,” he whispers in your ear. “I’m going to fill you so thoroughly it’ll still be leaking out of you in a week.” you wrap your arms around his back. 

“But you take me every night.” a breathy chuckle falls from your lips. “You leave me-“ you’re cut off by a gasp as he sheathes himself in you. 

“I leave you what, sweet sister?” he snaps his hips into you harshly before stopping. “How do I leave you in your chambers every night? Hm?” he smiles watching your breasts bounce when he starts a rough pace. 

“Filled and lea-Ah, Jace, yes,” your head falls back to his pillow and he brings his mouth down to your neck as he ruts into you. 

“I leave you filled and what else? I didn’t quite catch that.” he taunts you

“Leaking.” you pant. “Jac-“ you let out a small cry when his fingers rub your bud. 

“Your little cunny is squeezing my cock so tightly. Begging just as badly for my seed as you do.” he chuckles hearing your broken whines.

“Please, please,” you hold to him tighter. 

“What do you want?” he pants, snapping his hips into you. “Tell your King what you want.” 

“Fill me, please Jacaerys, please,” you whine as your pleasure topples over the edge. “I- 

“Shh,” he slams into you when he feels you fluttering around him. “I’ll fill you up nice and good.” he groans, feeling his stomach tighten. “Fucking love your cunny.” his voice shakes. “Your cunny’s gonna carry my heir.” his thrusts are stealing what little breath you have left. 

He listens to you babble incoherently beneath him as he continues to push into you. With one last thrust he fills you as you cling against him. He continues to slowly rock his hips into you as you let out soft whimpers. 

“You’ll be swollen with my child soon.” he rests his weight on top of you and you wrap your arms tightly around him, letting your eyes close. “Even then I’ll still fill you every night. I’ll keep you hidden on this island and no one will be the wiser. I’ll keep filling you until we fill all the chambers in this Keep with heirs.” he feels himself getting worked up again and he lifts his head to look down at you. He chuckles when he sees you sound asleep. 

“Rest,” he slowly pulls out and watches as your face softly scrunches before relaxing again. 

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6 months later 

You’re heavy with child and there are only a handful of people on Dragonstone who know. The maester, the midwife, your personal handmaiden, and your guard. Jace has insisted you stay within your chambers and he’ll have everything brought to you but you’ve been getting stir crazy. You can’t take another minute within these stone walls. You open your doors and your guard blocks your entrance. 

“Princess..” he sighs. 

“Then go get him. Please, I can’t do this anymore.” your voice cracks and he nods before shutting the door for you. 

You go lay back on your chaise and lovingly rub your bump. You blink up at the ceiling hoping your tears will dry by the time he comes. After the first ten minutes your tears start anew and by the time an hour passes you’re storming over to the door and ripping it open. 

“He said-

“I don’t care.” you snap, pushing past him. He goes to reach for you and your eyes go wide. “Do not put your hands on me.” you back up and the guard raises his hands alarmed. “I’m just going to walk down the hall.” you shake your head slowly backing up. 

“No. You will walk back into your chambers.” Jace's voice comes from behind you. 

“No, I won’t.” you shake your head and turn to him. “No one on this rock cares if I’m carrying a child. Let me go outside. Let me see my dragon. I just want to go to the beach and put my toes in the sand. Jace,” you look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, my King please,” you struggle to get down on your knees and he keeps trying to lift you back up. 

“Stand up. The farthest you can travel at this exact moment is to my chambers. Let’s go.” he looks down at you with a set jaw. 

“What have I done?” you hiccup and start to cry. 

“Besides interrupting my meeting, nothing.” he sighs, leading you into his chambers quickly. 

“Why must you hide me away? You never did before.” you sniffle as he helps you sit back in a chair. “Not even at night. I can’t do it. This is the last child I’ll bear if I must be hidden away for months.” you shake your head as you hot tears stream down your face. 

“You know what mother endured and-

“Everyone sees Baela is not with child. Where do you think everyone will think this babe came from? No one has seen me in ages. It’s obvious I’m either sick and within the strangers grasp or more logically, carrying a child. Is the goal to brand me as a whore and throw me to the streets?” you can’t help the hot tears that start to pour down your cheeks once more. 

“No.” he sighs and pulls you into his arms. “Come sit with me.” he pulls you over to the couch. 

“I’m sick of sitting. I’m sick of this stone.” you pace around his chambers. “Jacaerys I can’t.” you shake your head. “I’d soon rather fling myself fro-

“Enough.” he stands and grabs your arms. “My Gods I have good news. I’ve been campaigning the past six months for this.” he shakes his head looking up at the ceiling. “The councilors are well aware of your absence as is the entirety of the people on this rock.” you shift on your feet. “Can you please sit.” he rests his hand on your bump. 

“I won’t.” you shake your head. 

“It would serve you well to listen to your husband.” you glare at him and pull yourself from his arms. 

“If you think I’ll be your second wife you’re out of your fucking mind. I’m worth more. I’ll take your heir and flee.” you shake your head feeling more anger rise than sadness and you welcome the reprieve. “No.” you shake your head and walk to the door. 

You clench your fists as you approach the door and ignore his heavy footsteps. He grabs your arm and you try to yank yourself away but he tightens his grip. He turns you towards him and you try to push him back but he wraps both around you. 

“Stop being stubborn and listen to me.” he grunts as you continue to try and wiggle out of his arms. “Baela is going back to Driftmark.” he breathes out a sigh of relief when you stop squirming. 

“Why?” you pull back and search his eyes. 

“She’s been betrothed to Alyn to secure an alliance and ensure Driftmarks continued loyalty. She learned a great deal growing up there with Rhaenys.” you scrunch your brows. “They’re well aware of the situation you and I are in. Everyone is..” his words soft. 

“Then why have I been kept locked in my chambers?” you step back. “Gods.. Baela probably hates me now. I am your whore and everyone knows that.” he watches your face crumble and he pulls you against him. “Two bastards having a bastard. How fitting.” you sob into his chest. 

“Enough of this.” he tilts your head back so he can look upon your tear stained face. “We’ll marry right now if it pleases you.” he nods. 

“Really?” you sniffle. “And I can walk about the halls?” you start to smile as he nods. “Just me, you, and the maester?” he nods again. “Okay.” he cups your cheeks. 

“Okay.” he presses his lips to yours and leads you out of his chambers. 

He interlaces your fingers and starts to lead you to the door. You have a small smile spread across your features as you lean into him as he opens the door for you. You step into the hall and he’s back at your side and leading you down the stairs. Everything looks the same and different all at once but the sounds of life and others keep driving you forward. 

When you both round the corner everyone stops and smiles at you as Jace continues to escort you past them. You spot Baela and your heart drops as she starts to walk up to you. You freeze when she engulfs you in a hug. You start to cry when she whispers that she loves you and that she’s quite happy to marry Alyn. She also expressed how happy she is that Jace has finally released you from your chambers. 

Baela walks with you both to the maester to be the witness for your small ceremony and you couldn’t be more content. The words you both exchange are hushed and full of adoration. Jace places his lips softly on yours and kneels down to press his lips to your bump. 

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2 months after birth

Jacaerys walks into your shared chambers and is greeted by the crackle of wood burning in the hearth. He finds you asleep and the crib empty. Your son must be with your handmaidens so you can find some sleep. He slowly starts to strip off his clothes from the day and begins to crawl into bed with you. You slowly turn over and blink your eyes open. 

“I wanted to be awake when you got back.” you yawn and bury your head into his neck. 

“You are.” he chuckles, smoothing your hair. 

“No like awake awake.” you shake your head. “I wanted to surprise you.” you press your lips against his neck. 

“Surprise me with what?” he tries to pull you on top of him but you’re having none of it. 

“Go to the bathing chambers and I’ll call you out when I’m ready.” you start to rise from the bed and he lets his eyes trail over your body. “Jacaerys.” he smiles before stalking off behind the doors. 

You run over to your wardrobe and pull out the new silk slip you had made and pull it on. You smooth it over your body and make your way to your vanity to tame your unruly hair. Once you’re satisfied you walk over to the bed and move the blankets before settling yourself in the center of the bed and nibbling your lip as you call out for Jace. 

“My Gods.” he groans and he looks at you placed in the center of the bed. “I like this surprise.” he stands at the end of the bed and lets his eyes linger anywhere and everywhere. 

“I’d like to have another.” you watch his eyes snap up to yours. 

“What do you mean?” he rasps. 

“A child.” you slowly start to spread your thighs. “Please.” you whisper. “Please.” you reach out for him. 

“You didn’t think I would be content with just one, did you?” he smirks. “I’ll keep you swollen with my seed until we have a whole floor filled with children.” he chuckles at your flush. “I was just waiting for you to tell me you were ready.” he tugs your leg, pulling you to the end of the bed and your slip up in the process. 

You squeak as your hips reach the end of the bed and he kneels before you. You look down at the same time he licks up your slit. He smiles watching your head fall back to the bed as he begins to feast upon you. His lips encase your bud and your hand flies to his curls. 

“Jace, please,” you whimper, pulling him closer. “Oh Gods,” you gasp, bucking against his face. 

He groans into you and your soft noises and licks at you feverishly. Your legs begin to shake and close around his head and when he slips two fingers into you you let out a small scream. His fingers pump into you quickly and he smiles as your pleasure starts to leak out of you. With a couple more swirls of his tongue you're falling apart on his face. 

“You’re so perfect, my wife.” he slowly stands up from the ground and watches your chest heave. 

He lifts you up the bed and settles between your legs while he smashes his lips to yours. He starts to rock his hips into yours groaning as his cock slips through your wetness before he pulls your slip the rest of the way off. He leans back to line himself up and he watches your face as she slowly pushes in. His forehead rests against yours and he stills his hips. 

“Please move.” you gasp, squeezing around him. 

“I just wanna be close to you right now.” he presses his lips to your neck as he slowly rolls his hips. “I love you so much.” he mumbles before sucking softly at your neck. 

“I love you.” you wrap your arms around him, letting out soft gasps and whines as he starts to move his hips a little faster. 

“Are you sure you’re ready to carry another child?” he lifts up and searches your eyes. “If you want more time-

“Yes, please yes,” you nod your head. “Please Jacaerys. Let me give you more children.” you start to jerk your hips up to his. Your words cause him to start pushing into you with more of a purpose. You wrap your legs around his waist as he continues to suckle at your neck. “Jace,” you gasp when he snaps his hips into you. 

“What do you want?” he smirks against your neck, feeling you squeeze around him. 

“I want- Mm,” he leans up and starts pounding into you. “I.. Jace, please.” you cling against him as he repeatedly snaps his hips.

“You have to tell me what you want.” he brings one of his hands between the both of you to circle your bud. You pulse around him and he presses his forehead to yours. “Your cunny knows what it wants.” he chuckles. “It’s begging to be filled. Squeezing my cock so tightly.” he rasps. 

“Please,” you whine as your pleasure is never ending. “Fill me, Gods Jacaer-“ a shutter rolls through your body. “Please, please,” he groans, watching your eyes roll back. 

“Shh, shh,” he presses you into the mattress. “Gods you feel so fucking good.” he slams into you repeatedly. 

He watches you slide against the mattress as starts to hammer into you. He feels his pleasure quickly approaching as you babble beneath him. His lips mold to yours and he swallows down all of your moans and he starts to fill you. He keeps slowly rocking his hips listening to your soft pleas as you hold him closer. 

“Stay inside.” you breathe out. “Just- yes.” you hold him as he collapses on top of you. “Like this.” your hands travel up to his hair as he cuddles into you. “Thank you.” you let your eyes flutter shut. 

“I’ll fill you again when we wake up.” he mumbles, pressing his lips against your neck. 

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masterlist 🔌 

i thought abt jace w a breeding kink everyday since i got this anon tbh

taglist ✍️

@ka1afbr @ninihrtss @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @alexxavicry @misspendragonsworld @papichulo120627 @ashovertheriver @gabriella-aesthetic @moonymoo1 @faenyra @uwuuness @lizzylovebooks280501 @nostalgiagoth03 @multilover19 @summer-and-sunflowers @eternalwinters @rere10 @sxlsvv @sarahrosw36q @tricksterreaper @somethingsaladsomething

[kira-quartz]

Last song: Karolina - The Basics

Favourite colour: Purple

Last book: I started reading Interview With the Vampire last month, but I haven't picked it up in a while. Still pretty good so far, though.

Last movie: Can't remember. Might still be the heckin' Garfield movie? ^^;

Last show: Gilmore Girls

Sweet/spicy/savoury: Either sweet or savoury, depending on the specific thing, but it's been wayyy too long since I've has a curry >_<

Relationship status: N/A

Last thing I googled: "owl house first wpisode airdate" (<- exact words XD) I was thinking about how one of my OCs has some things in common with Amity despite having been created before I knew anything about The Owl House, and I was wondering if it even existed yet when I created her (it didn't)

Current obsession: YGO, my OCs and their world (there are so many worldbuilding things that it didn't occur to me to think about 8-10 years ago when I created most of them!), X Japan (still... this morning I had Kurenai stuck in my head, this afternoon it was Joker, a few hours ago it was Rusty Nail, and now there are like 4 other songs fighting over my brainspace XD)

Looking forward to: posting more art (maybe some Carryshipping for Valentine's Day, if I can come up with anything?), the next TS4 expansion pack reveal (please let it be bands!!), DunMeshi season 2, these heckin' renovations being finished so I can have my bedroom + bathroom back XD (hopefully this week!)

@hopefulstarfire @hereforthefunnyguys @dancingkirby @lizzylizzyinatizzy @sesshy380 @animecartoon-baransu and anyone else who wants to!

Ten People I’d Like to Get to Know Better

Tagged by: @anonymous-existences (ty for tagging me :3)

Last song: The entire Ithaca Saga by Jorge Rivera-Herrans

Favorite color: Yellow, but specifically a light golden yellow

Last book: The Science of Psychology: An Appreciative View 6th Edition by Laura King 💀

Last movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Last show: Teen Wolf (I barely got started)

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet and salty

Relationship status: I have been single my entire life 🧍

Last thing I googled: "monologuing"

Current obsession: DPxDC and the Ithaca Saga

Looking forward to: I have an outing planned with a friend I haven't seen in a while!

Tagging (no pressure ofc): @meditating-cat @elizabethemerald @pinklotushere @hello-casualbouquetcycle @starlightcat04 @angyblobghost @zhelin-thames @kyohoke @vangreer @caleism-1

[firenati0n]

hello friends <3 thank you for all the tags, i know it has been a while. i haven't written anything since december beyond what i have snipped below, a fic i posted on ao3 last week after experiencing something personal and painful. the fic is neither, i promise! it is a space au full of yearning and hope. but some readers mentioned crying, so. your mileage may vary lmao

i wish i had more to share or something new, but i think this is going to be my last fic for a long long while. i know this isn't an airport and i don't need to announce my departure, but i wanted to say that so i didn't just randomly disappear off socials like i had intended. i really appreciate all the support and kindness over the last few weeks (and months, and year), especially this past one. i am proud to go out with this one. :)

i'm floating in a most peculiar way, and the stars look very different today :

There’s no such thing as snow in space. There is, however, a sophisticated array of screens on the ship that project images lining up with Earth seasons. Today it’s a flurry of snow against a familiar skyline. Winter in London. Henry stopped keeping track of things like months and cities and weather around thirteen years ago. The only unit of measurement that matters to him is how far away he is from his destination. DAVID—the Endurance spaceship’s Deepspace and Astrobiology Vault of Interstellar Data—says the screens are for Henry’s psychological wellbeing, that the void of space and unknown stars would slowly drive him to distraction, to insanity. But what good is sanity without humanity? The stars remind him that he’s a person, living and breathing and defying expectation. They remind him that he’s so close. The sharp pull in his gut intensifies.

thank you for reading and commenting and being a great community. grateful for good people. <3

xoxo roop

p.s. i anonymized my musician/icarus/orpheus and eurydice fp au people ruin people, i don't wanna ruin you, so subscribing to it is the best way to get updates, if that is of interest. not abandoned, just slow. thank you <3

tagging everyone back under the cut:

@cha-melodius @onthewaytosomewhere @sophie1973 @rockyroadkylers @saguaroblossom

@theprinceandagcd @porcelainmortal @run-for-chamo-miles @blueeyedgrlwrites @judasofsuburbia

@zwiazdziarka @sherryvalli @suseagull5914 @14carrotghoul @caterpills

@dumbpeachjuice @rmd-writes @tailsbeth-writes @ninzied @anincompletelist

@wordsofhoneydew @eusuntgratie @insecuregodcomplex @kiwiana-writes @alasse9

@onward--upward @whimsymanaged @priincebutt @welcometololaland @cheesecurdsgravyandfries

@tintagel-or-cockleshells @smc-27 @cricketnationrise @clottedcreamfudge @anchoredarchangel

@everwitch-magiks @seths-rogens @orchidscript @lilythesilly @incalamity

@indestructibleheart @leaves-of-laurelin @fairflowered @myheartalivewrites @thesleepyskipper

@miharaikko @shesfromboston @kj-bee @msmarvelouswinchester @jafffacakess

[gabessquishytum]

Okay I literally haven't interacted on tumblr for years but I scroll through dreamling stuff a lot and I see your posts all the time and I know I won't ever write this myself cause I'm an ADHD mess but I have this idea I can't stop thinking about: So you know all those fics where Hob gets amnesia for some reason or another and Dream has to take care of him cause he can't remember anything about who he his or that he's immortal. I keep thinking, what if he only lost like 30 years of memories due to a specific curse or something (idk maybe he pisses off a witch and they're like "have fun being a literal baby in an adult man's body muahahaha!") so the last thing he remembers it was 1992 and he was in the process of establishing the New Inn since he was stood up three years ago. Cut to current and he and Dream have been dating for months after reuniting and being friends for a while and falling in love (naturally) and Dream visits regularly and sporadically so while Hob is trying to figure out what fucking year it is and how he's suddenly a professor when just the other day he was applying for classes and how does he now live in the inn that he literally just started building a month ago WTF IS GOING ON!!?!?!

Cut to Dream to showing up out of the blue and Hob freaking out because his stranger is back and acting super sweet and friendly and what the actual fuck is going on!!

Dream of course figures out something is wrong and gets Hob to come clean and he is murderous, How DARE someone put a curse on HIS HOB!!! I don't really have an exact idea of how this is all rectified, maybe Dream tracks down the witch and tortures them until they take the spell back, maybe he removes the curse himself since he's just that powerful, maybe it's broken with true love's kiss?? (lmao idk, I'm not super into that trope but if that's what you wanna go for be my guest)

Omg I feel so blessed that you went to the trouble of writing this out for me, friend! Yay!!

I feel like it would be incredible to see Hob going back to post-1989 abandonment trauma. In his mind he's still desperately trying to get over the fact that Dream didn't show up. Realistically he's not coping all that well, although he's setting himself up in his new life, he's still crying a lot and making questionable decisions and getting blackout drunk at 2pm. This trauma added together with the utter confusion of being thrust into a place and time that he doesn't know, REALLY freaks him out.

So Dream has to go into caretaking mode and make sure that Hob doesn't have a total breakdown. He's a little better when Dream is around, but he's still so confused and tearful a lot of the time. He needs a lot of reassurance from Dream, lots of explanation about 21st century life, and Dream is happy to provide.

I have this idea of the curse slowly wearing off over time, because Dream has taken care of Hob so well. Maybe one of the rules of the curse was that it would last until someone truly cared for Hob, body and soul. Dream still threatens the witch though of course. He's determined that no one will ever hurt Hob again (himself included, because now he knows exactly how upset Hob was by his abandonment).

When Hob fully regains his memories he drags Dream straight to bed and profusely thanks him for his sweet and tender care. Dream would gladly do it all again for nothing... but the sex IS a nice reward.

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Ten

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

With a quick snap, I lit the old fireplace and felt the warmth spread across my legs. The orange glow lit up the old home as I walked through. It was now empty, being left abandoned the last 80 years. It looked completely different when I was here a few hours ago but I couldn’t stop thinking of ways that I could fix up the holes in the walls and the missing floor boards. 

The master bedroom and bathroom were what needed the most work and a slight fear of what I had gotten myself into creeped into my bones; a giant hole was directly in the middle of the floor. 

“So this is what you wired the money for?” 

Looking to the front doorway, I sighed when I saw Steve leaning against the doorframe. 

“You followed me?”

He pushed himself off the frame, his large feet walking inside the old house. “It’s exactly like I remembered.” 

“What are the odds you know your way with a hammer?” I somewhat joked. 

Steve laughed. “Not at all. That’s Bucky’s forte.”

I stuffed my hands deep into the pockets of my coat while Steve stood next to me as we both watched the fire dance. 

“I can’t believe you bought Bucky’s childhood home,” Steve spoke after moments of silence. 

“He deserves something good when he comes back,” I stated. 

Steve looked over to me with a confused stare. “He has you.” 

I shrugged. “I’ve done a lot of bad things the last five years and I don’t think Bucky could accept it.” 

“You’re talking about The Winter Soldier,” Steve reminded me, bumping my shoulder with his own. 

I looked around the run down house with a large sigh, knowing that there was going to be no way that I could get it fixed up in time. I wanted to surprise Bucky when the fight was over with his old home being fixed back to its former glory. He deserved a home to grow old in. 

“Yikes, what are you two doing hanging out in this dump?” 

Turning on my heels, I smiled at Natasha as she slowly maneuvered her way inside over the holes. 

“Hey, this is my dump you’re shitting on,” I defended. “What are you doing here?” 

She held up a bag of food. “Figured you two were hungry.” 

We all sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, eating and laughing about old memories of us working together; before everything changed. I missed the way our banter bounced off each other, Nat and I giving Steve a hard time for how old he was.

“I missed this,” Natasha admitted. 

“Me too,” I smiled. “I hope that after everything, we all can retire and enjoy the life we have left.”

“Soon this house will be filled with Bucky Jr’s running around,” Natasha winked at me. 

I tensed up at the mention of kids and noticing the uncomfortable look on my face, he motioned towards the door. 

“We should head back.” Steve helped me to my feet, giving my hand a squeeze. 

He knew that I had reverted back to the dark hole with the mention of kids. I hadn’t coped with the loss of our kid, not wanting to come to terms that I could actually have a little Bucky Jr here with me right now. 

Steve wrapped an arm around my shoulders leading me back to the Avengers Compound. 

With a soft sigh, I turned over in bed, staring out the large windows. I could see the sun beginning to rise over the treeline, indicating that I hadn’t slept at all after returning back. Thoughts of the life I could have in this moment kept me awake.

How could I tell Bucky that we should have had a kid by now? 

For a fast moment, I thought of not telling him, to spare him the pain of knowing that we lost a child in the snap. I hated, however, keeping secrets from him. He deserved to know the truth, about everything that happened the last five years. 

Right?

With a loud groan, I tossed off the covers and forced myself to take a shower knowing that today was the day; the day that we would all go back in time to retrieve the infinity stones. I knew that it would work but there was a lingering fear that we wouldn’t get what we wanted without a price. It had always been like that for us, the Avengers. One of us always paid the price for our actions, one way or another. 

Once dressed, I made my way down the elevator to the common area of the tower, where everyone else was waiting for my presence. 

Nat, Clint, Rhodey, and Nebula were sitting at the large table watching as Bruce and Scott went over every detail about going back in time to them. 

Tony and Thor were standing in front of the monitors with Carol, figuring out exactly where we needed to go to get the infinity stones. 

And finally, Steve was sitting by himself in a chair on the other side of the room with a low scowl on his face. I had seen that same scowl many times in the past and it only ever meant one thing. Something heavy was on his mind. 

“Someone’s in a cranky mood for it being so early in the day.” I joked as I sat in the other chair across from him. 

The sight of me brought a smile to his face. 

“Just thinking.” He stated. 

“About what?” 

I could see the hesitation on his face, knowing that he wasn’t sure if he should actually tell me what he was thinking. 

“If this doesn't work, I don’t think I could take the feeling of failure from everyone; especially you. I don’t know what I would do if you hate me because I couldn’t bring Buck back for you,” Steve admitted with a sigh.

“Hey,” I spoke while lacing our fingers together, “I could never hate you, Steve. And this is going to work because it has to. We need to bring them all back, not only for me, but for all of us.” 

I could see in his sad eyes that he still didn’t believe what I was saying so I gently leaned close to him, letting a soft kiss linger on his cheek for a brief second. Turning to look into my own eyes, we were meters apart and I felt his warm breath fan across my lips. 

“I love you too much to ever hate you, Steve.” I muttered my admittance. 

It was brief but I saw the way his eyes darted from my own down towards my lips, slowly licking his own. I couldn’t stop myself from slowly leaning closer to him. 

Dorogaya.

“Hey lovebirds, if you’re done staring lovingly into each other's eyes we can start the meeting now.” 

We both sat back from one another, my glance now on Tony. 

“What’s the plan?” I coughed, hoping that would hide the arousal and redness of my cheeks for what almost happened. 

As Tony went over the teams and who was going where, I felt Steve’s eyes on me the entire time. Daring a glance over to him, my heart hammered in my chest when I saw the look of desire in his face. 

I shifted in my seat once I heard my name being called. 

“Jesus Tony, you’re making me feel like I’m in school again,” I said while crossing my arms. 

“Well if you weren’t giving googly eyes to Rogers, you would have heard what I was saying and I wouldn't have to yell at you,” Tony stated. 

All these years had passed since we fought together in New York and I still hated how much of an ass he was. 

“You, Banner, Lang, and Steve are going back to New York in 2012 to retrieve the time, mind, and space stone. Thor and the badger are going back to 2013 Asgard to get the reality stone.”

“I’m a racoon,” Rocket interjected. 

“Same thing,” I waved him off. “Rhodey and Nebula are going to hitch a ride with Natasha and I to Morag to get the Power Stone while Nat and I go to Vomir for the soul stone.” 

Once finished, I smiled smugly at Tony, knowing that I in fact was listening to him go over the plan while staring at Steve. 

Steve said back in his chair, mirroring his own smug smile, before looking at Tony. 

“Anything else, Mr. Stark?” He joked. 

Tony let out a deep breath while pinching his eyes. “Let’s get suited up then.” 

Before we all left the room, I gave Steve a quick wink and followed Natasha to her living quarters so we could get suited up together. 

[canadaxed]

Lucy is an Ancient!.... theory.

you might like this if you: really like the idea of eldritch beings falling in love with some normal ass dude who is totally unaware.

I also posted this all on the Klei forums, which might be easier to read for some people. Click here for that version.

A while ago I posted: "someone remind me to make a post on my theory about Lucy being an Ancient" and I finally got around to it! Feel free to read. It's a long one, but the main timeline for the idea is in the last paragraphs if you want to skip ahead.

Here's the theory now:

Hey gang, I figured I'd post this theory I have. I dunno if anyone else has picked up on it, I didn't find anything myself. I'm gonna try my best to explain why I believe Lucy the Axe could be..... an Ancient!! Like the spirit of the Shadow Maul or Reaper. 

First things first, lets start with Woodie, the scraps of lore we have for him, and what Lucy means to him.

We know that the survivors entering the Constant (at least in the DS era) have a pattern of wanting something, or being emotionally vulnerable- and this is typically what Maxwell preyed on to get them into the Constant. 

In Walter's short, we get a glimpse of Woodie's cabin. He has references to his family being from Scotland in it, various stereotypical Canadian British Columbian Guy decor, two very conspicuous chairs in the main room.... and "Lucy's" outside.

That's right... Woodie never took the physical "Lucy" with him. I put Lucy in quotation marks because we don't know if Lucy was always his axe... or if she was the person that second chair in his home belonged to.

The guy went deep into an uninhabited forest to get away from people, why would he have two chairs in his home right next to each other? Pair this with with how he leaves his red "Lucy" axe outside, rather than having left her on the chair or something like one might if they were romantically invested in something.

Keep this in mind too when considering whether Lucy could’ve been a real person or was always an axe.

Now, putting the pieces we have so far together, one could follow this story pretty easily:  Woodie lost his wife and was reminiscing on memories of her while listening to the radio, which was the prime moment for Maxwell to swoop in with the promise of reuniting them.

Don't Starve fans might be skeptical for a few reasons: DS fans are split pretty evenly between wanting Woodie to be "just some funny guy" and also desperately wanting more information on this mysterious Lumberjack. When you put this theory into perspective, it all feels too easy; or it just feels wrong to completely blow open a huge point in Woodie's lore that is otherwise kept close to Klei's chest. 

Secondly, somewhat related to the first point: Klei's got plans in motion for their lore. The idea of even the gameplay of the world is that you start out knowing nothing, and slowly, SLOWLY, you gain more information. Even then, though, the game becomes more complex and deep. Essentially the team's been doing the same thing with their lore. Whether they only had a loose idea at the beginning and are now really hitting the road running with the direction they want to go in terms of lore, or if they always had an idea for it: they've been giving us glimpses of it over the past... 12 years? We've never gotten the full picture even after all this time, all these shorts and expansions. And each new bit of lore that gets revealed, there's another complexity added to it. Again, people might be thinking "this is just too easy a conclusion to come to, I could've thought of that." 

They might just really be banking on Woodie's general obscurity in relation to the main story as a way to give him a lot of interesting tidbits that people won't immediately dissect.

Thirdly: I'm just one person posting something on the internet. I could just be way too much of a fan of Woodie and reading too much into all this. And I could totally be wrong or be wrong about some things and right about others. Either way, I don't anticipate getting any answers from Klei for a long time if at all, which only adds to skepticism. 

(If you ask me, Don't Starve and its short animations/puzzles/lore drops are begging to be nitpicked.)

So lets back-track a little and talk about why Klei might've decided to drop so much potential, very vital Woodie lore in this one short. (AKA: the Woodie Tangent part of this theory thread, cus I love him)

If you've seen the short animations on Youtube, you might go to the comment sections here and there to get a general community consensus on them or the character. The comments are overwhelmingly positive and a lot praise how the lore is being handled. 

Then you get to Woodie's very own animated short.... 

If you've seen it, you know it's a silly animation where Woodie , in the Constant (unlike other shorts til then), is chopping trees and gets attacked by a tree guard. He uses his three wereforms to fight it, and overall its a pretty fun time. The comments are mostly positive, but a lot expressed disappointment in not getting any more lore about Woodie. He's a very mysterious character, even despite having one of the longer character bios in the game. 

So, eventually Walter comes along. A young boy from Canada, part of a boy scouts troop, really into monsters. If the developers didn't have Woodie in mind when making Walter, they ended up becoming very intertwined character and story-wise anyway. Klei being the cheeky devils they are, decided that if people wanted Woodie lore so bad, they'd get it.... via Walter's short. We only get a few glimpses at background things (we might've even got a hint that Woodie lives on vancouver island) but to Klei, that's enough. Clearly we've gotta do something with what we got. 

But even Walter's short didn't give us enough for full answers to anything.

Let's move on and get to the real stuff: Lucy, Maxwell, and the Ancients.

The Ancients in Don't Starve lore refers to a powerful society of bug people that existed in the Constant long, long ago. They went extinct because of their over-reliance on nightmare fuel, which brought them from famine and gave them great magic and technology that allowed them to live in a bustling utopia, for a while.

We see an ancient in the metaphysical "flesh" in Hamlet as the Ancient Herald. We also know that the spirits that embody such weapons as the Shadow Maul or Shadow Reaper were once ancients, and their souls were probably in the pure horror/dark tatters used to create those items. 

Anyway, the reason why they matter in this instance is because the only other living, talking tools we know about in the game are the Shadow Maul and Shadow Reaper, who both happen to have special dialogue for Woodie. They’re possessive over him, and jealous of and particularly spiteful towards Lucy. They’re also made with dark magic, unsurprisingly, and that’ll come into play later in terms of my theory for Lucy’s existence. I’m noting now that the Shadow Reaper/Maul and Lucy all have a nonchalance about them and are eager to be used. Also, that they all feature red prominently in their designs.

As fun as I find all these personality similarities though, we won’t talk about them much. Here are these comparisons for the hell of it:

Shadow Reaper quote:   "We make a good team, no matter how you ssssslice it." Lucy quote:   “We make a good team!"

Shadow Maul quote:   "Ch- cho- chop. CHOP!"   "Ch- chop tree... CHOP TREE!"   "CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!" Lucy quote:   "Chop chop chop. Heh."   "Chop, c-c-chop!"

Also on this point of Lucy being a magical item, remember how she will always disappear in the world if Woodie’s gone too long and be replaced by a normal axe. If Woodie tries to use any normal axe that isn’t her, she immediately disappears from where she was last dropped and poofs right into Woodie’s hands in place of that axe.

Alongside this, typically you can only carry/have one Lucy at a time, and she does have special dialogue if you can somehow hold another one.

So, we’ve established the similarity between the talking items. Keep in mind that its established now that inhabitants of the Constant can summon the souls of the Ancients to be used as objects with dark magic.

Moving on…

Its safe to say Maxwell couldn’t manipulate too much beyond the confines of the Constant and his portals and the radios, like we see with him needing Willow and Wilson’s help.

He also can’t seem to drag anyone into the Constant whose name doesnt start with W. Also, whenever Maxwell “fulfills a wish” in order to get a survivor into the Constant, it always comes with a twist. (If Woodie didnt want anything new or different from his current life, he wouldn’t have been lured in. If Woodie just wanted his axe to actually talk to him, he wouldn’t just be given that no strings attached. If Woodie wanted someone back and was promised they’d be in the Constant, why not turn them into his axe, which as a lumberjack he’s metaphorically married to?)

The possibility of Maxwell dragging Lucy’s spirit into the world alongside Woodie is feasible, considering Wendy and Abigail’s situation. But if that were the case, then why not let her stay as a spirit attached to Woodie, rather than having to construct an entirely new form of axe? Because remember, Woodie didn’t bring his real axe into the Constant with him.

You could argue: “because he’s bored. Lol.” and to that i say….. Yeah true lol. Work with me here! 

Here’s another potential point towards Lucy’s spirit being brought in with Woodie: Wendy’s quotes for Woodie often refer to Lucy, and how Abigail favours her. 

But keep in mind that this (Wendy/Abigail recognising a spirit in Lucy) only tells us that there IS a presence in Lucy. Also, considering Winona’s short, I think it’s safe to assume that Abigail might only be able to exist in the Constant because of her flower somehow being tethered to its magic. Lucy wouldn’t have had that.

Alongside that, Maxwell’s quote for examining Lucy:   "Ah. How have you been, Lucy?"

He knows there IS something in the axe and appears familiar with her

So…

Let’s rule out a few other ideas for Lucy’s existence real quick (just in terms of this theory… because i still love these interpretations): 

Lucy being purely in woodie’s mind: then other characters wouldn’t think much about her, Maxwell wouldn’t speak to her so familiarly or as a real person. Even if the magic going into the DST world made her able to speak, Maxwell would be more likely to show surprise at her sentience (its something new that happened after his reign) 

Lucy only existing because Woodie willed her into existence on arrival into the Constant: See above, Maxwell wouldn’t be so familiar with her. Plus, putting together the pieces of woodie having left his real-world fire axe outside his house while he was spending his down time inside, we can assume that woodie in the real world didnt have the same deep connection to his axe. If he could will something into existence, why not have it be the real person he was missing that he wouldve shared that chair with?

Lets start wrapping this up.. Cus I’m no good at writing coherently in long-form.

Here’s what I think could be the potential timeline of events for this theory, putting all the pieces together: 

Maxwell needs to lure a depressed, possibly mourning Woodie into the Constant and promises him he’ll reunite him with his partner, Lucy. Her spirit’s not tethered to the real world anymore (because unlike Abigail, she didn’t have that odd flower) and Maxwell can’t manipulate the world outside of the Constant to that degree- but he has a lot of power inside of the Constant. He calls upon the spirit of an Ancient, seemingly the only spirits that can be returned to a level of sapience, with dark magic of which he’s especially adept, and forges its spirit into that of a special axe.

Then, either he imbues the axe with Woodie’s memories or the axe/eldritch powers-that-be gain them in their own way (think Maria from Silent Hill,) and upon Woodie’s passage to The Constant, he receives her. 

As far as Woodie’s concerned, he’s gotten everything he needs, and takes his existence in The Constant without much disdain. As for Lucy, her old Ancient spirit is happy to be alive again and feeding off living beings (trees). It takes getting used-to to be an entirely new “person”, but she gets the hang of it. She’s clingy and codependent because he’s her source of fuel, but quickly forms a bond with him and ends up caring about his wellbeing, to the point of helping his survival in the DST era. Woodie is blissfully unaware and thriving.

....

Alright, thanks for reading! I know it was a lot. Feel free to discuss. I love Woodie and Lucy. I'm sure I missed a few things, like maybe how Lucy knows about Woodie's wereform cycle with the moons and when his beaverness gets low (the moon thing could be a reference to how the Ancients worshipped "Alter"/Them, and the beaverness thing could just be her dark magic picking up on his curse) ... or how Lucy is very picky with other survivors and very sure of herself/forward/brash like the other sentient items, but those are more of a stretch.

[felassan]

hi! first of all, love your blog, everything is so organized and there's so much info out there about everything and you having this blog makes it easier to find.

so there's something that idk if i saw on this blog or if i made up in my head and maybe you could help? I remember seeing something somewhere about how the devs or at least david gaider didn't understand why so many sided with the mages. do you know anything about that or did I made that up completely in my head?

hello! ◕‿◕ tysm for the nice comment about my blog. I'm happy that it can be helpful!!

rest of post under cut for length.

if you think you may have read it here, could you be thinking of one or some of these quotes from [this] post series? those posts are some notes I made of things which David Gaider said (pls keep that context in mind when reading the below) during some Twitch streams some years ago. as far as I know the original streamed videos are no longer available.

"The experience of a mage in the world isn’t represented or conveyed very well to the player when the player is a mage. The experience of the player when they’re playing a mage or have a mage in their party doesn’t really match up with how the world lore tells them how dangerous mages can be - for example, how they can lose control and so on, we never really have an example of a PC mage struggling with being taken over by a demon. This was originally supposed to be a subplot in DA2 for mage Hawkes, in one of the last cuts. In Act 2, mage Hawke was originally slowly being tricked by a demon in their head that they thought was real, only to realize at the last minute. Mouse the Pride demon in the mage Origin is the only time in the entire series that they really ever properly demonstrated how demons can fuck with [PC] mages. Also, PC templars were originally supposed to have a permanent lyrium addiction that they needed to ‘feed’, but this was scrapped as the system designers weren’t keen on it and felt that it was essentially handicapping the player."

"They managed to keep the Tranquil in. There was a while there where they were going to be cut. At the same time, DG regrets that they couldn’t solve the making of the player more aware of how mages are dangerous, thing. Players could make a cogent argument like “they’re not that dangerous, look at me [mage PC]” and the writers were like “well… yeah, that is fair”. It was a case of showing one thing and the player experience of it being another. DG feels that this made the templars come off worse than they are. DG feels that they are being massively unfair and too extreme in their approach to the problem, but the problem itself is a real thing. He feels that there’s some merit/truth in the argument that mages are oppressed, but he looks at it more like an issue like gun control rather than as treatment of oppressed people, saying that we don’t have an example in real life of oppressed people who can explode into demons and cast fireballs and so on."

"Going into DA2, the team had a long discussion of the themes of the game, the whole ‘security versus freedom’ argument. “Let’s try to understand the motivations of people who do things wrong. Is it possible to feel sympathy for somebody who might otherwise be labelled a terrorist? Is it possible to understand why templars might view the mages with fear?” As a whole, DA tries to encompass villains that have motives we can understand a little better. DG feels that Corypheus isn’t one of these. He’s less a villain and more an antagonist or plot device. There are certain things that they did wrong with the implementation of Cory in the game. Originally in DAI he attacked Skyhold as well as Haven. Cutting the Skyhold attack for example made him seem like less of a threat."

"There are certain spells/abilities in D&D that can make a GM’s life frustrating, such as teleportation, telling the future, resurrection. The fact that death is not permanent, for instance, should be a huge thing that affects society and how the people in it view death. This is why they were thinking stuff like “If every low-level mage in the setting had a skill like ‘Charm Person’, what would non-mages make of that?”"

or maybe something from [here], or an [old post] [random example] David Gaider made on the original official BioWare Forum? 🤔 [the forum was archived by fans on Fextralife] or could you be thinking of something that he said on his old Tumblr? [this] and [this] are links to some Tumblr blogs which archived some of the original Tumblr. it might be worth browsing through those/searching them for "mages" and suchlike in case it turns anything up. :>

apologies if nothing here is pinging as familiar. :<

[crescenthistory]

Hi sweetest angel❤️it's me again although I already asked for the interpret of your 2k event and I LOVED SO MUCH❗️❗️...maybe can I ask for an Argue too? 🥺

I was going through your event and when I saw the List B and my eyes landed on the prompt 4 Coffee Shop AU I instantly thought of Regulus🤷‍♀️How could anyone blame me?? I love everything you write and if is for Regulus I'm down bad🤭

Anyway congratulations once again my angel❤️You deserve and I'm sure you'll achieve even more cause you just write works of art❗️❗️ I love you so much big hugs❤️

you could probably ask me for anything and i'd give it to ya di — regulus coffee shop au coming right up <33 a bit of a unique take on it, but still

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

i will ARGUE for prompt 4 "coffee shop au" with regulus black

carina's 2k celebration

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

cw: fem!reader, non-compliant wizarding war, (implied) exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, making up post-war, open ending

wc: 1.1k

If you had told Regulus Black five years ago that he would be working in a muggle coffee shop on the outskirts of Edinburgh, he would have scoffed in your face.

Had you told him ten years ago, he might have burst into tears.

Today, though, all he felt about it was a monotone neutrality about this new reality of his, in addition to a little ache in his heels from standing upright eight hours a day five days a week.

A nagging voice in the back of his head kept murmuring about how that pain is the least of what he can shoulder, but he tried to push it away – not out of disagreement, but exhaustion. Carrying guilt tires out your bones and Regulus must admit his had already been weary. After the stunt him and his friends pulled with the horcruxes, they were lucky to be alive in the first place. Not to mention to be free, at least as far as the Ministry was concerned.

Though for the time being, his elusive group of reformed purebloods turned war heroes were scattered all over the country as top notch aurors – regretfully including his brother and his brother's friends – hunted down the last of the loyalists. Barty and Evan refused to be separated and were somewhere near Bath, a choice they made during their very last night together when the friends all got wine drunk and reminisced about their various heists over the past few months. Their sole reasoning was that Bath was a "funny sounding name" and "Bath sounds like Barty trying to say his name after getting his teeth kicked in". Pandora was supposed to be in Wales, but Regulus had a sneaking suspicion she had snuck off to France instead to be with Xeno. Dorcas had simply been unable to separate from Marlene after the war, so the two were happily engaged and hiding in one of the many Potter properties.

Moody – who Regulus still refused to admit he was intimidated by – had stressed that it's not hiding, it's just waiting the storm out.

In his apron and with his hair pulled up with a small silver claw clip, Regulus surely felt as though he was hiding.

The long queue of customers felt like it was only growing, all the 9-5 employees from the various office buildings around his coffee shop relying solely on Regulus for their morning fix before their first meetings. He was mixing and pouring and adding and shaking all the while the minutes ticked away. 

Regulus never let his mind drift when he worked like this. Instead he kept it in check between focusing on the tasks and tuning out all the noise. If he started thinking, he might begin wishing and once he began wishing he would never stop.

More than anything, if he began wishing, a longing would fester itself in his chest, a longing he managed to quelch during his horcrux heists and thus had no business reasserting itself in his life. A longing for a certain witch he managed to not be able to say goodbye to twice – once before embarking on the months-long endeavour and now before running off to wait the storm out.

This last time, he might have been able to say goodbye first. Before the horcruxes it was too dangerous, but now… now he could have waited. If he had tried, Regulus was certain he would have been able to.

Yet, here he was. Without a goodbye and with a pocketful of regret and cowardice. 

He shook his head, cursing beneath his breath as a few strands of his hair fell in his face at the movement, as he tried to get the thoughts out of his head. Focus on the work, he kept telling himself. Turn it all off. He used to be so good at it, but apparently having a “redemption arc” as Barty kept cheerfully calling it, had made compartmentalisation a bit tougher. 

Regulus never half-assed anything, not even a temporary barista position he had no intended future within, so it saw the queue dwindling fast despite him being the only one on shift today. 

As he neared the last customer of the first rush hour, Regulus had to take a quick break to fix his hair. He shucked off his gloves to put his hair back up, stubborn strands refusing to stay put. While mid-movement, he turned around to the counter, plastering on his most neutral and polite customer-service smile.

“Good morning, what can I get you?”

As his eyes landed on his customer, Regulus’ entire body froze. Arms in the air, polite smile still on his lips. The only part of him that moved was his eyes blinking rapidly as they widened.

“Good morning. I’d like to order an apology or two and then maybe a hug, depending on the flavour.” You matched his customer service tone of voice, but you had him pinned beneath your gaze.

Stood before him, was the very witch he had banished from his train of thought earlier, every day, that still somehow managed to sneak on. Except you were very much not a thought as you leaned against the counter, arms crossed defiantly over your chest and an expectant brow raised at him. 

“Amour,” Regulus breathed out. It was a word he hadn’t said aloud since before the war.

“Hi, Regulus.” Your gaze softened and he could see the sadness beneath it. “What are you doing here?”

He let his hair go as his arms fell down to his sides, looking around to ensure there were no more customers waiting. “I could ask you the same question. How did you find me? I’m supposed to be in hiding.”

If you were offended by his questioning in place of greeting, you didn’t let it show, which he was grateful for. There were a hundred thoughts rushing through his head at the minute and the sound of the creamer didn’t make it any easier to sort through them. 

“I had a word or two with Moody.” You shrugged your right shoulder as if it was no big deal. “Explained that he had no business hiding you from the wrath of your girlfriend, only the loyalists.”

Regulus’ lip quivered a little at that word, and you seemed to catch it because your entire demeanour softened this time. “Girlfriend?” he asked quietly.

“Supposedly,” you amended, but you gave him a small smile. “If I could get that apology I ordered. And maybe a coffee to talk it over.”

Regulus’ eyes were wet and his face twitching as he began losing control over it, but he nodded emphatically. “There’s heaps of both apologies and coffee here.” His attempt at lightheartedness. “I would be happy to serve you.”

Your expression matched what he was sure his looked like – pained and hopeful, bittersweet and in love. “Then I think a chat’s long overdue.”

[2am-writing]

You're a Coward Steve Harrington

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader 

Category: Angst to fluff

Summary: Steve has been avoiding y/n for the last month. It’s not until you’re shit faced at a party for him to confess what’s really going on.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, taking shots, smoking, smoking weed while driving (I do not condone this behavior this is just here for the sake of the story and vibes LOL), throwing up, fighting, kissing

WC: 2.5

A/n: Second “fanfic” “imagine” esc post!! I really hope you like it. This was fun to write and please don’t judge my shitty writing lollll I’m still working on it and lots of room for improvement (: 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I still think he’s into you” Nancy laughed at y/n as she told Nancy the infamous story of how one day her and Steve were the bestest of friends, inseparable really. How they did everything together- movie nights, parties, dinners, even sleepovers. Steve and y/n became close very quickly ever since y/n moved to Hawkin’s about a year ago. But one day later everything had seemed to banish out of nowhere. 

It crept up slowly, and though y/n was trying not to read too much into it at first, she soon realized she should’ve because when she finally came to terms with what Steve was doing it was too late, and he was gone- Not literally gone as in disappeared but, gone from her life. 

It first started with Steve not returning your calls right away, letting them go unanswered for hours, until those hours turned to days. He stopped walking you to class and meeting up before and after school. He avoided you at lunch, and started making excuses to get out of hanging out. All which ultimately led to him completely dodging your presence.

Finally when it became too much for y/n she pressed him in the hallway, on the verge of breaking down, demanding to know what she did that made Steve want nothing to do with her anymore. Steve’s heart was shattered at the thought that he let y/n think that this was her fault. But overall, he thought losing her like this was a better alternative than getting rejected and ruining the friendship that way. So when she pressed him that day in the school hallway, it took everything in him to say nothing and just walk away.  

Over the course of that month Robin countlessly called Steve an idiot, she suspected the feelings he had for y/n but nothing was confirmed. Steve was too stubborn to admit to anything. And Robin too- like Nancy, tried telling y/n

‘I think he’s just an idiot who’s into you.’ But without confirmation, y/n just accepted that Steve had a newfound hatred for her and the only thing could do was bury her feelings for him and forget it. 

As for y/n, she spent a lot of her free time with Robin when she wasn’t with or working with Steve, and Eddie too- they were just friends of course but they did get significantly closer ever since Steve walked out of y/n’s life. 

10pm hit as Nancy, Jonathan, and y/n stood outside the Wheeler’s house waiting for Eddie to pick them up for a party. You weren’t really sure whose party it was, but Eddie knew the guy which automatically meant you and your friends were invited. 

You were excited, and felt like this would be a good opportunity to finally let loose and have fun after how stressful this month has been for you. You wore a tight black mini skirt, a baby tee that rose just above your belly button, and knee high boots. You wanted to feel good about yourself tonight, forget about Steve and everything he put you through. You were never much of a partier and you definitely preferred smoking and relaxing than drinking and partying, but you knew a switch up would be good for you.

When Eddie finally pulled up you hopped in the passenger seat, as Johnathan and Nancy sat in the back.

“Hey- you clean up nice” Eddie laughed at y/n while passing her the joint he just lit. Y/n accepted the joint gracefully and took a hit of it, before Eddie started driving off to the party,

“Not so bad yourself Munson,” She coughed out before taking another hit, 

“Woah, woah, woah,” Eddie stammered, “One, save some for me-” He took the joint back smoking it, “Two, slow your roll and wait till we step foot in the party before you completely lose yourself.” 

The drive over to the party was no more than 20 minutes. On arrival, Jonathan and Nancy went their separate ways as they are more of the inverted partier type. As for you and Eddie, he took you straight to the kitchen to get started on drinks, 

“Okay doll, what’re you drinking tonight?” 

“Tequila,” You answered without hesitation, Eddie was taken off guard by my answer. He knew that wasn't my typical drink of choice. His eyes widened and eyebrows raised,

“Well shit y/l/n, why do I have a feeling I’m gonna be carrying you out of this place tonight,” He laughed pouring your guys’ first shot of the night. 

You cheered your shot before taking it with ease, then taking a hit of a joint you just lit. Eddie’s eyes looked at you in disbelief as you held the joint in your mouth inhaling while pouring another shot before- he chimed in,

“I don’t know if I should be proud or concerned for you,” 

You shook your head laughing, "I just need to say fuck it and let loose Eddie, I’ve been needing this for a while, okay."

Eddie is aware of the situation that went down with Steve, he’s the one who has been at your side and at your every call, always there to comfort you. He knew how much Steve meant to you, though he never understood why you liked him so much, but you just claimed he never got to know Steve like you did.

“Doll, I know you need this, just be careful please I can’t babysit all night-” Eddie got cut off by his friends welcoming him and dragging him out to the back patio.

All honesty you were fine being left alone, tequila made you wanna dance and that’s exactly what you went to do.. After you took another shot of course. 

You slammed your shot glass on the counter after taking it, then filling up your red solo cup with a mixed drink and hit the dance floor. 

You were doing exactly what you had planned on doing, letting loose and having fun. A benefit to going to a party where you don’t even know who’s hosting it is you don't know a lot of the people here- making dancing with random guys a lot easier.

Whilst in the middle of quite literally throwing it back on some guy whose name you didn't even know, your body suddenly froze up, you felt as if your lungs had started constricting, and anger rose inside of you noticed Steve fucking Harrington walking in the door with Robin- 

‘I should’ve known, a friend of Eddie’s is more than likely a friend of Robin’s of course they’re fucking here.’

You sighed, taking a deep breath in, 

‘Tonight is my night of fun and letting lose, fuck Steve Harrington,’ 

You took another swig of your drink before continuing dancing, you were definitely feeling the alcohol hitting you now. 

Steve spotted you the moment he walked into the house. Jealously rose inside of him as he saw you dancing with some guy. But he still couldn't help but miss you and his heart felt like it was aching. That feeling followed up with the thought of rejection, and he couldn’t help but replay the moment in the hallway you two had shared when you were pressing him, he had never seen you so angry.

He quickly snapped back to reality, he could automatically tell you were drunk, he smiled to himself admiring how confident you looked dancing, drink in your hand, you looked as if you didn’t have a care in the world. He missed your presence. 

A few minutes later Steve found himself in the kitchen grabbing a beer. After taking a prolong drink he heard someone stumbling into the wall over towards the bathroom. 

With curiosity getting the best of him he peered around the corner, and there you were. Drunkenly stumbling, joint in your mouth, your hand pasted to the wall using it to guide you to the bathroom door.

When you reached the bathroom you had slammed the door behind you before placing your joint on the sink carefully, then falling to your knees in front of the toilet waiting for the contents in your stomach to rise up. 

Steve slowly approached the door listening to what you could be doing, he more just wanted to know that you were okay in there. The second he heard you start to vomit, worry washed over him. He lost control over himself and didn’t think twice before he opened the bathroom door. His eyebrows pinched together, sympathy in his eyes at the look of you hanging over the toilet sick. 

Your head had snapped over to the door upon it opening, your face had a look of anger then quickly dropping as you made eye contact realizing it was Steve, 

“What the fuck are you doing here,” Your words slurred,

“I know- I know you hate me,” Steve calmly said while closing the door behind him then kneeling down next to you pulling your hair out of you face and holding it back, “Just- just let me help you please,” 

Before you could respond you resumed throwing up and coughing in the toilet violently. Steve continued to hold your hair back while with the other hand he was rubbing small circles in your back calmly saying, “It’s okay, you’re okay- just breath,” 

Truth to be told, his presence felt very comforting, and as much as you wanted to kick him out of the bathroom, scream at him, and analyze this odd situation- You were far too crossed from the weed and alcohol to even think.  

“Why- are you- here Harrington,” You began choking on your words before tears started to form in your eyes, “You avoid me- for- a whole fucking- month, you’re just gone- and now you want to just show up again,” 

“I know- I know, I-”

Before Steve could finish his sentence you started vomiting again cutting off his sentence, his heart ached seeing you like this,

“Hey hun,” His tone gentle, “Can I please take you home, you can’t stay here like this,” 

As much as you hate to give in so easily you knew you were only gonna feel worse. Plus you had a feeling Eddie left the party already with a girl that was hitting on him on the back patio so this may be the best option for you,

“Okay,” You croaked out grabbing Steve’s shoulder to boost you up. Steve stood up with you wrapping his arm around you to help keep your balance,

“Okay- let’s go” 

He guided you outside the house, walking you to his car. He opened the passenger door for you, helping you inside. The world was spinning, your mind was racing yet it was also blank, you rested your head on the window feeling drowsy,

“Your house or mine hun,” 

“Steve-” you slurred, “I can’t go home like this,” 

"Okay," Steve nodded, driving off to his house. 

You blacked out during the car ride, you felt as if you were jumping in and out of reality, nothing felt real. One moment you were sitting in the passenger seat of Steve Harrington’s car, the next minute you were laying on his couch with a slightly better grasp of reality.

You slowly sat up rubbing your eyes not caring if you smeared your mascara. You noticed Steve in the kitchen holding a cup of water as he started walking towards you, 

“Here,” He said quietly, “Uh- We just got here- like 10 minutes ago- here drink this,” He hands you the cup and you drink the water reluctantly glaring at him, 

“How can you just act like nothing happened Steve? You were my best friend one day, and a shitty- selfish person the next.”

Steve sighs, embarrassed, and unable to look you in the eyes. He knows you’re right, he can’t just have you stay the night without explaining why he did what he did. He knew he had to tell you the truth, and he had to tell you tonight. 

“Do you remember the time- uh- we stayed up all night just talking in my car,” Steve’s demeanor was soft, he was staring at the ground breathing slowly,

“Yeah,” 

“I think about that night almost everyday you know,” He pauses taking another deep breath, “We talked all night- about everything- and you feel asleep on my shoulder at sunrise-” 

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at Steve, “Yes Steve I get it. I was stupid enough to open up to you, about everything, my whole life. What? Just for you to ditch me months later and forget about everything?” Tears started forming in your eyes, you started to fill of rage,

“No, no- Just- please let me finish,” I stayed silent, 

“Y/n I love you-” 

“You’re a coward Steve Harrington,” You shouted at him, “You don’t abandon someone you love,” 

Steve’s head snapped up at you making eye contact, you could tell something changed in him, 

“Dammit y/n I fell in love with you!” He shouted. He maintained eye contact, your eyes widened, eyebrows raised, your breathing fasten, yet you remained silent,

“I’m sorry I abandoned our friendship y/n- I’m sorry I left you hanging. I was scared of your rejection, I didn’t wanna lose our friendship that way y/n. I know it doesn’t make sense, but at the time- you know- it did. I know I’m a coward from running away from those feelings, but I just knew you could never feel the same,” Steve stopped talking and started catching his breath,

“Steve, you're an idiot,” You gave him a saddened pitiful smile, “How could I not like you back? Of course I had feelings for you,” Steve’s expression softened as those words left your mouth,

“Really?” In the moment nothing but guilt washed over Steve, he was happy too- But more so he felt guilty, like a real jerk for wasting all that time away from you. But ultimately, all the worry he had of getting rejected from you had vanished. 

Steve inched closer to you, closing the gap that laid between you guys. He held eye contact with you momentarily, breaking it to stare at your lips. His hand cupped your cheek as he closed his eyes slowly pulling you into him. You leaned into his kiss, your hands hanging around his neck. 

You couldn’t believe this was finally happening, Steve felt like he was dreaming.

When your lips collided it felt as if the whole world around you disappeared. Your lips fit perfectly together moving in sync, his lips were soft and gentle with yours. Everything felt perfect. 

Steve paused pulling back, you were both smiling like idiots at each other catching your breath before Steve spoke up,

“I missed you so much- I’ve been wanting to do that for so long you have no idea,”

“No, you have no idea Harrington,” You laughed, “Don’t ever do any of that dumb shit again,”

Steve laughed shaking his head before pressing his forehead against yours, 

“Trust me, I’m never letting you go again honey.” 

[conchcronch]

Forever my Liege

Summary: For years he’s stood by his side, what started as just another guard posting turned into a friendship, a partnership. The line became blurred long ago, but Jayce just happened to be the one to act on those desires.

Medieval AU

WC: 5405

A/N: I have NEVER written JayVik so I’m really hoping this isn’t a complete mess! I was inspired by this art by the insanely talented @shuploc !

“W-We can’t” the hushed words of apprehension from the prince were quickly silenced by the other’s mouth. The feeling of cool armor felt almost icy through the prince’s court attire. Despite his words of concern, he was returning the kiss just as greedily as his guard was. The larger man’s arm wrapped around his waist, taking the weight off his leg without thinking, pressing him against the wall of the empty hallway. “J-Jayce” Through the armor the soldier couldn’t feel the hand that was resting against his breastplate, that is, until the prince managed to press harder against it, making the man reluctantly pull his lips away. “Not here.” Something as simple of a command was driving him crazy, now that he had had a taste, everything had changed.

Jayce was panting, still holding the smaller man by the waist, eyes glued to the way Viktor’s lips glistened with their shared saliva. “You’re right.” With a heavy swallow he forced the answer out, he carefully let go of the man’s narrow waist, allowing the weight he had been holding to slowly and evenly be put back on the prince’s right leg. He didn’t miss the way his nose scrunched when the full weight was released, his grip on the cane tightening out of view. “I’m sorry” Jayce stood up straight, stepping away to leave a respectable distance between them. He watched as Viktor stepped away from the wall, walking around his guard and starting down the long hallway, the sound of his cane echoing off the barren stone walls.

Jayce kept a few steps behind him, watching as Viktor leaned more heavily on his cane with each step. Completely missing the way his tongue ran along his lower lip, savoring what little taste the guard had left there. “You’re limping more than usual.”

“It’s been a long day.” The sound of his own armor as he moved seemed almost deafening as they walked in stretched silence, he was desperate for some sort of conversation, but knowing full well the prince wasn’t one for meaningless chatter.

“I could- I could carry y-“

”Absolutely not!”

“Your satchel.” Viktor’s gait was thrown off by the leather bag he used to carry his numerous notes and books between his office and quarters, today however, it seemed especially heavy, likely burdened with even more notes from the court meeting he was forced to attend.

“Oh, y-yes that would be -“ He paused, allowing the bag to slide off his shoulder, not even having a chance to offer it before it was taken by the guard’s noticeably warm hand.

Jayce threw the bag over his shoulder was an ease Viktor never had. A strength that he always knew the larger man possessed but until a few moments ago had never gotten to witness first hand. The ease at which his full weight had been lifted, even for those far too brief breathes, he hadn’t felt that kind of relief in quite a few years.

“Did you think I was going to offer to carry you?” He could hear the smirk Jayce was fighting to smother. ”I’m not new.” Viktor looked down in an attempt to hide his smile, but like he had said, Jayce wasn’t new, he knew what would get a smile out of the prince.

When the prince turned down the dead end hallway of his bedroom, Jayce wanted to comment, wanted to point out that he didn’t remember the last time he had willingly chosen to go to his room before the wee hours of the morning, and even that took quite a bit of convincing from the guard. But he knew how hardheaded the man could be, so opted to swallow the words instead.

In the early days of his job, Viktor hadn’t allowed him past the threshold of his private quarters but as their bond grew, his boundaries began to dissolve. Almost every night, Jayce would follow Viktor into his bedroom, the door closed behind him as they would often discuss Viktor’s latest theories as he went about his nightly routines. Jayce had grown comfortable,content in the company of the prince, as had Viktor. Possibly too comfortable, hence the kiss.

Jayce sat the heavy bag on the desk that was piled high with papers, careful not to accidentally knock anything over. Viktor sat slowly on his bed, leaning his cane against the edge as he started untying his cape so he could begin pulling at the lacing that ran along the side of his vest.

As he pulled at the laces, tugging at the corseted pattern, Jayce couldn't help but stare longingly at those nimble, pale fingers. For the first time in what felt like weeks, his nails were free of grease from his lab, having been forced to attend a court council meeting instead of working away on his own. “Jayce,” The sound of his name in the accented voice startled his gaze up to meet Viktor’s. “You’re staring.”

“I- sorry” What was he supposed to say in this situation? He wanted to stare, wanted to help him undress, lay in bed beside him rather than stand at his post outside his door.

“Do you want to talk about what happened in the hallway?” The laces finally gave way, allowing Viktor to pull the vest over his head, leaving him in his loose fitting white shirt, the thin fabric cascading off his shoulders, making him seem wider then Jayce knew he was.

“If you want to.” Jayce tried to stand as tall and unwavering as he could, but the longer Viktor stared at him with those honey coloured eyes, the more he wanted to leave, take up his post outside the prince’s door and hide from the crushing rejection that he knew was bound to come.

“We don’t have to, if it makes you uncomfortable, but I would prefer if we could get the talk out of the way so we might repeat the event in privacy.” The tone in which Viktor spoke made Jayce almost miss the words he was saying. His voice was so procedural, similar to the tone he used when explaining his work and theories to the knight.

“It was a lapse in-“ There was a pause, Jayce could feel his heart pound behind his breast plate as the words the prince said finally sank in. “Wait,”

Viktor leaned forward, beginning to tug at the bindings of his brace so he could remove his trousers that were trapped beneath. The ease at which this man was able to move about his nightly routine after saying something as important as he just had would never make sense to Jayce, no matter how many years he had stood by his side.

“Sometimes I question how much of what I say really gets through your head.” His tone was light, as though Jayce could hear the smile that was obscured from him as he unbuckled the final section of his brace. As Viktor moved, trying to raise his right leg so he could slip the brace off, he sharply sucked in a breath, forcing Jayce from his racing thoughts and bringing him to the prince’s side.

“Can I-“ His words faded, knowing Viktor knew what he was asking for without need for a complete sentence. Viktor pulled his hands from his thigh, allowing the larger man to hold his calf carefully with one hand, using the other to guide the brace off of him. “It’s worse today” Jayce hadn’t fully intended to say those words out loud.

Jayce stood up, bringing the brace with him and placing it on the bench that sat at the bottom of the prince’s enormous bed. When he looked back to Viktor, he saw the man beginning to pull at the laces of his trousers, which evoked a stirring in his lower stomach that he could quickly name, but would rather ignore for the time being. “Is there anything else you need, V- my Liege?” He cleared his throat, resting a hand on the pommel of his sword, mentally reminding himself of their relationship, a relationship that had remained unchanged for years. Jayce was his guard, his protector. That was his job.

Despite that reminder, Jayce couldn't deny the way his heart broke a bit when he saw the momentary hurt in Viktor’s eyes before he was able to revert back to the emotionless mask he wears as they walk down the halls of the castle. “You’re leaving” it wasn't a question but a statement.

“You need to rest,” For the sake of avoiding seeing the hurt in Viktor’s eyes again, Jayce opted to drop the title, knowing it was never something the prince particularly liked and had been dropped very early on in their relationship.

”I’m fine.” The prince bit back, his gaze sharp, golden eyes boring into the knight’s armor as though it would actually do damage.

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

“I already told you.” Jayce met Viktor’s eyes again, his dark brows furrowed, nose scrunched slightly and lips parted. The front of his pants were undone, and his hands were balled on his thighs.

“Is it a good idea?” Jayce stepped closer to the bed, watching as Viktor leaned back, holding himself propped up with his hands, his gaze softening the moment he knew he was about to get exactly what he wanted. When Jayce was within reach, he saw the way Viktor pressed his hand to his chest plate, palm spread wide across the cool metal.

“I don’t remember you asking me that when you kissed me in the hallway where anyone could have seen us.” By the time the words were out of Viktor’s mouth, Jayce was already leaning down, their lips inches apart.

When their lips met for the second time that night, there was no room for hesitation, neither person was questioning if this was a good idea, they knew it probably wasn’t but that was no longer going to hold them back.

Jayce swallowed Viktor’s moans as the kiss quickly deepened. It didn’t take long before Viktor was tugging Jayce on top of him, laying back on his bed and encouraging the other man to join him.

“J-Jayce,” the prince pulled back from his guard’s lips, allowing his head to be cushioned by the plush bedding, his dark hair creating a halo against the navy duvet. “The armor, can you…can it come off?” His breathing was laboured, his lips a little pinker than normal. There was a beat of silence, it was clear that Jayce was weighing his options, but ultimately he stepped off the bed and began working the buckles of his chest plate, followed by his pauldrons. The way in which Jayce’s fingers moved from armor piece to armor piece was fascinating to Viktor, who was so enthralled that he jumped when the last piece of armor was dropped.

Viktor couldn’t remember if he had ever seen Jayce without any armor on before. Left only in a thin white shirt and dark brown trousers, Jayce appeared so much more human. Despite having not returned to his spot on top of Viktor, he could feel heat radiating from his guard. “This feels like a bad idea, Vik.” The prince sat up, cocking his head slightly to one side.

“You already said that.”

“N-no not this,” he gestured between the two of them. “I mean, I’m still on duty. What if something happens, what if you’re put in danger?”

“Then there would be no place safer for me then here with you.” Jayce would never get tired of listening to Viktor speak, every word that came from his thin lips were like a siren’s song to him. His words seem to completely melt the guard’s hesitation once again, the larger man wasting no more time resuming his spot on top of his prince.

Their lips slot together as though they were made for one another, hands finding purchase anywhere they could as their tongues began exploring the other’s mouth. Moans swallowed by one another before Jayce felt Viktor’s spindly hands on his chest, pushing him back enough to force their lips apart enough to speak. “Jayce-“ Hazel eyes met gold, foreheads pressed together as Jayce brought one hand up to cup Viktor’s angular cheek. “Could we-“ He squirmed underneath the larger man “Could we reposition, perhaps?” Jayce was on his feet before the words were even fully out of Viktor’s mouth.

Viktor was a bit slower to sit up, scooting himself back towards the pillows, taking a bit more care to straighten his leg that had been bent over the edge of the bed for a prolonged amount of time. As Jayce stood there, watching the smaller man get comfortable, his gaze averted to moving the pillow up higher to support his neck and head, the guard sheepishly adjusted himself, hoping the other man wouldn’t notice. And if Jayce hadn’t been so preoccupied about hiding his arousal, he may have noticed the way Viktor’s face pinked, his gaze having turned towards his guard at just the right moment to see exactly what Jayce hoped he hadn’t.

Unsure of what to say in this moment, worried whatever words he picked would be wrong, Viktor awkwardly cleared his throat, startling Jayce’s gaze to meet his before he climbed onto the bed. Instead of resuming the same position they had been in before, Jayce instead sat on Viktor’s left side, allowing his body to sink into the insanely plush bed and pillows. After taking a moment to appreciate that this bed may be the most comfortable thing he’s ever sat on, he turned to Viktor, noticing the way his golden eyes were moving up and down his form.

His big hand cupped his cheek again, drawing him in until their lips met again, Viktor’s body melting into Jayce’s. This new position allowed for the prince’s hands to roam along his guard’s body. Starting instinctually on his chest, balling the thin, loose fabric of his shirt in his hand before releasing it, his hand pressing against his firm pectoral, his heat radiating. His fingers moved along the muscle, noticing the way the other man would moan into the kiss as his hands got lower, feeling the way dense pectorals gave way to his stomach, which while still being covered in muscle had a bit more meat to it. His hand slipped underneath the fabric before he could really even give it a second thought.

He wasn’t surprised when his fingers brushed over a thin sheen of hair across his chest, his fingers running along the hills and valley that made up his private guard, trying his best to commit every part of him to memory. “D-do you want-“Jayce pulled back but smiled as Viktor chased his lips, allowing himself to get lulled into another kiss, this time shorter than before, pulling his lips back as he used the hand that was on the prince’s narrow waist to hold him back. “Do you want me to take this off?” Viktor’s golden eyes were searching Jayce’s face for something, anything to indicate there was even an ounce of hesitation, and Jayce was doing the exact same thing.

“Y-yes, that would- yes.” The larger man couldn’t smother the smile as he sat up and began pulling his shirt over his head, feeling Viktor’s eyes on him as he tossed the shirt over the side of the bed, returning to his side again.

Viktor’s hands were on him before Jayce could even get a word out. Hands running across his chest, thumbs swiping over his nipples while watching his expression intently. “Jayce” The prince purred, his lips moving against the other man’s not wanting to pull away and lose the contact. “Could I- I would like to be on top of you.” For the first time in their partnership, Jayce could actually hear the fluster in the prince’s voice, and when he pulled back it was plain to see how pink the man’s cheeks were.

”Y-yeah of course, but won’t that hurt your leg?”

“Jayce,” Viktor’s hand moved from the larger man’s chest, cupping the knight’s cheek. “I live with pain every moment of every day, it’s stopped me from doing countless things. But I don’t intend to let it get in the way of this.” Jayce moved both hands to the smaller man’s waist, picking him up with ease and moving him carefully to straddle his hips.

“If it hurts too much or you want me to move you, ju-“

”I’ll tell you.” Seeing Viktor on top of him was enough to make his cock throb, which due to the position change, they were both acutely aware of. Viktor held himself up with his two hands pressed against Jayce’s chest, his hips wiggling against his growing erection as he watched the knight’s eyelids begin to grow heavy with arousal, his lips parting as his breath turned into light pants. ”I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you speechless.” Viktor had always been conscious of how his voice affected the knight, but now more than ever he could feel how it affected him. The only sound Jayce was able to make was a mix between a whimper and a moan that got caught at the back of his throat. “I certainly never expected you would be so excitable.” The large hands that still supported the prince’s body clenched. “Have you imagined this before?” Another whimper as Jayce fought to keep his eyes open, caught between not wanting to take his eyes off the prince and the pleasure becoming overwhelming. “Is this what you think about when you go back to the gatehouse?”

“Gods” Even though Viktor knew that was confirmation enough, he so desperately wanted to hear the admission.

“Come now Jayce,” He leaned down so he could press his lips to the man’s breast. “I want to hear you say it.” Viktor’s lips moved up his chest towards his neck where he started to nip at his guard’s pulse point, breathing in the smell of sweat and the metal of his armor that stuck to his skin. “That’s an order, knight.”

“Damnit yes! Every night Viktor, I think of you every single ah every night.” His voice was strained as he fought back the moans that were trying to slip out between each word.

“What do you imagine?”

“Everything”

”I want details” As he waited rather impatiently, Viktor continued to nip at the man’s neck, sucking dark bruises closer to his shoulder, knowing his armor would cover it in the morning.

“You on me like this, you under me.”

“Mm and which do you prefer?” Viktor started to slowly rut against the guard, both of their erections sliding against one another through their layers of clothes.

“Vik” His tone was a mix of embarrassment and arousal, silently begging him to stop this line of questioning that was causing him to throb.

“I suppose you wouldn’t be able to answer that,” He nipped at Jayce’s Adam’s apple playfully. “Since you still have yet to see me under you.”

“Vik please!” Jayce had never acted this needy for anyone in his life, maybe it was the layers of clothing that was driving him crazy or the fact that he was already so close, but he was completely at the man’s whim.

“What do you need, Jayce?”

“Contact!” The word shot from his mouth as though he had been fighting against it for hours and it had finally won. The prince felt no need to answer him, opting instead to push himself back up into a seated position before reaching down to the tented trousers that had been sandwiched between their stomachs. The buttons separated easier than his own laces would, making the task of fishing his cock out much quicker.

The second his hand wrapped around Jayce’s cock the larger man moaned so loud you would have thought he finished. The feeling of a cock other than his own in his hand didn’t feel as foreign as the prince expected. And as he stroked it the way he would his own he noticed the way it throbbed in his hand, pre cum already beaded from the head. ”Is this what you wanted?” Viktor asked genuinely.

”Yes, you’re doing- Gods exactly like that!” Viktor swiped his thumb over the tip, dragging the pre cum down his shaft before running the pad of his thumb along his frenulum, noticing the way Jayce’s stomach tensed.

“Vik-“ Jayce clenched and unclenched his jaw as he tried to restrain himself enough to piece together a few coherent sentences. “C-can you- or I could-t-touch you“ Not quite the coherent sentence he had hoped for but he could tell by the way Viktor’s eyebrows raised and his lips pursed that the meaning had come across perfectly.

“I suppose you could, if you want.” Jayce relinquished his hold on the prince’s waist in order to push himself up the bed, moving so he was sitting up against the headboard so he was closer to his partner. His hands went to the sides of Viktor’s billowing shirt, grabbing the fabric in his hands but pausing when he noticed the way the prince’s eyes widened.

“Can I take this off?”

“N- it’s…you can.” The way he seemed conflicted made Jayce pause, giving him a few moments to search the man’s expression for some sort of hint as to the reason for his discomfort.

“It can stay on, Vik, there’s no pressure.”

“I have a brace…another brace.” Jayce stayed quiet, giving him the space to give him more information if he wanted. “It’s…I didn’t want it to bother you.”

“Have I ever given you any reason to think anything about you would bother me?” Jayce brought his hand to Viktor’s pinked cheek, running his thumb along his bottom lip as the prince shook his head. “You don’t have to take it off, but don’t keep it on for my account.” Viktor’s hand let go of Jayce’s cock, moving to the hem of his shirt and slowly raising it under he could pull his arms and head from the garment.

Jayce made a mental note to ask him about the brace, not its purpose but its creation. He could tell from the fine craftsmanship that the prince had made it himself, but he got the sense that if he let his eyes linger on it much longer it may make his partner self conscious.

Jayce moved his hands to the prince’s hips, feeling the straps of his brace as he ran his thumb over them. When hazel met gold again, something felt different. As though, much like Jayce shedding his armor, Viktor was laid bare in front of him. There was a vulnerability that the guard had never seen in those ore coloured eyes, and as though he needed more of a reason to protect the man on his lap, he knew this was going to awaken something inside of him.

Neither of them knew which one leaned in first, but when their lips met this kiss wasn’t like the others. It was slow and relaxed, giving their hands time to wander. Jayce’s cock still stood between them, pre cum sliding down his neglected shaft. Viktor’s body tensed slightly when he felt the large hands pull at the loosened laces of his trousers, forcing Jayce to break the kiss worried he had gone too far. “Is this okay?” Viktor’s eyes opened, his head pulling back slightly to nod before watching how Jayce’s tan and rugged hands pulled at the laces until they slipped from the eyes of his pants. “If you want me to stop, just say so.” With bated breath Viktor watched as Jayne reached into his pants, sucking in a breath when he felt the man’s warm hand wrap around his own erection.

Jayce’s hand felt so much different then his own. The warmth that encompassed his erection was unmatched, his hand was so much larger then his own, his grip tighter too. Neither of the men had soft hands by any means, but the knight’s were far rougher, calloused from years of training. As Jayce stroked his cock with a tight fist, Viktor was too overwhelmed to hold himself up anymore, slumping forward to rest his forehead against the larger man’s shoulder. His breathing turned shallow, the occasional moan slipping out.

For the briefest of moments Jayce’s grip was gone, almost causing Viktor to sit up and question what happened. That was until his grip returned, tighter then before and pressing something flush to his own cock. “Jayce what’re y-“ he moved his head enough to look down at their laps only to see Jayce’s hand encircling both of their cock, stroking them together.

“Is this- fuck- is this okay?” Viktor nodded against his shoulder, fighting the urge to close his eyes and get lost in the pleasure. It took all his self control to move his head from the guard’s shoulder to press their foreheads together. Both men’s mouths were open, their breaths intermingling as their eyes locked as much as they could with heavy lids. “I w-won’t last much- much longer, V.” Jayce’s voice was wavering, his hand speeding up to the point where the sound of his pre cum covered palm was squelching against their erection. “Are you- are you close?” Viktor nodded, his lips moving in the shape of a yes but the sound never came out.

Viktor was the first to finish, a breathy whine leaving his open mouth seconds before Jayce’s moans filled the room more than either man really understood, both their cum pooling on the knight’s stomach. As Jayce’s hand slowly kept stroking them, to the point of overstimulation making Viktor’s stomach tense and hips begin to pull back.

Neither man spoke as they pulled away, Jayce helped Viktor off his lap, taking extra care to help him lay back on his side of the bed with minimal pressure on his leg. Only leaving the prince’s side to grab a cloth to clean them both off as Viktor wiggled out of his trousers as he waited for his guard to return.

“Will you stay?” Viktor’s words seemed deafening after such a long stretch of silence.

“I’ll be just outside the door.” Jayce muttered as he finished sopping up the mixture of their mess from his lower stomach. The silence sat heavy between them, so much so that Jayce made no movement towards the pieces of his discarded armor that sat at the foot of the bed. “This is already risky enough, don’t you think?”

“It’s not like you’ll be far away from me if you stay.” Viktor stated matter of factly, allowing himself to sink into the plush pillows that covered the headboard. “Please?” Jayce’s resolve lasted all of two breaths before he was moving to grab his sword, returning to the bed and placing the weapon within arm’s reach as he sank into the mattress.

Jayce pulled the prince into his chest, feeling his stomach squeeze when the prince’s hands grabbed his face, pulling him down until their lips met again. It wasn’t long before Jayce was hunched over the prince, their lips moving together as though they had been together for decades. As the kiss deepened and hands began to wander once more, Jayce’s thigh found its way between the prince’s.

Soft knuckles met the heavy oak door of the bedroom, the sound seemed equvielent to a crash of thunder on a desolate night causing both men to freeze but their lips didn’t part, Viktor’s hands didn’t untangle from Jayce’s mussed locks and the knight made no move to pull his thigh from between the prince’s legs.

“Um Pr-Viktor?” Viktor relaxed slightly when he recognized the voice to be Sky, the daughter of a noble family who often joined her father when he came to council meetings. The prince had been warming up to her, something that was rarely done. She once asked what he was reading when she came to the castle grounds to pick up some documents and had stumbled upon the prince’s office by accident. She would ask about his latest projects, seeing as she was one of the few people that Viktor actually believed understood most of what he was talking about. “I was just d-dropping off that book you lent me,”

”You lent her a book?” Jayce whispered, parting their lips and meeting Viktor’s gaze as he fought back a moan when the guard’s lips pressed to his pulse point.

“I did.”

”Normally your guard would be outside your door, but I um, I checked your office and you weren’t there but a maid mentioned she saw you two heading towards your room so…Is everything okay?”

“Sky,” Viktor tried, but his voice cracked slightly, electing a snicker from the other man above him. ”You can-you can just leave it outside the door.”

“Are you okay? Where’s Sir Jayce?” Every word she spoke was dripping in concern and while the prince appreciated her worry, he was desperate to get her to leave so their night might continue the way he hoped it would.

“I’m fine, J-Jayce had to step away for a bit, but he’ll get the book when he’s back.” It was hard for Viktor to even piece that lie together as Jayce’s thigh pressed harder between his legs, making his head drop back against the pillows, puffing out a sigh when he heard Sky start to speak again.

“O-Okay, if you’re sure.” She stopped speaking but neither of them heard her footsteps. “Viktor?” Jayce pressed his leg even harder between his, forcing the prince to press his hand over his mouth to keep any unsavoury sounds from slipping out where Sky could hear.

“Yes Sky?” One of Jayce’s hands came up to tip Viktor’s head to one side, giving him more access to the Prince’s long pale neck so he could press increasingly sloppy kisses lower towards his chest. It was taking every ounce of self control Viktor possessed at this moment to swallow the sounds that were fighting to slip from his lips.

“Will I still see you tomorrow?” Jayce could feel the groan more than hear it, Viktor’s blunt nails digging into his muscled sides as the nips on his neck were becoming far too distracting.

“Y-yes of course” his voice was shaky at this point, and both men hoped that Sky wasn’t able to piece together what was happening behind the unlocked door.

“I’ll see you then, good night Viktor.” Viktor attempted to return the same sentiment but when he opened his mouth to speak, the only sound that left it was a wanton moan that thankfully was muffled by the back of his hand.

“Shall I go get your book?” His lips moved against Viktor’s neck, smiling against him when he felt the smaller man melt into the bed in relief, nodding.

When Jayce sat up, turning so his legs were dangling off the high bed he looked back at the Prince. His earth brown hair was tousled against the cream pillow case, his eyelids seemed heavier than normal and there was a light blush creeping from his cheeks down his neck. He had never looked so breathtaking. “Jayce,” the larger man would never get tired of hearing his name in that accented voice, now thick with want. “My book” as though he had forgotten the purpose of sitting up and was now reminded, he was on his feet clearing the distance between the bed and the bedroom door.

Without a thought in the world he wrenched the door open, stepping outside slightly and bending down to retrieve the tome. “Hurry up” the prince called from bed, causing Jayce to turn his head to look back at the man he had left behind, but before he could, he caught a small figure in his peripheral vision, stopping him dead in his tracks.

Whether it was in opportune timing that Sky happened to be walking by the mouth of the hallway at the exact moment Jayce was retrieving the book, shirtless, bed head and pants tented more than he wanted to admit, or if she had been waiting in hopes of seeing the prince, they couldn’t be sure. But when Jayce and Sky’s eyes met he hoped and prayed she wouldn’t utter a word about it.

[eli-alys]

(my main blog is @elialys, currently using this sideblog to post my newsreader feels/gifs because tumblr shadowbanned me on sunday for sending s3 to people 💀 anyway, this post was written a few days ago)

~~~~

I took notes on my immediate feelings after watching each episode of season 3 of The Newsreader, it’s helped with the “AAAAAAH” emotions that binging such an intense show cause, plus I figured quite a few of you might share my feels. It’s mostly me screaming, and it’s a tad disjointed as you can imagine, but blame the show for breaking my brain.

SPOILERS UNDER THE READ MORE!!

3.01 Night of Nights

I’ve honestly watched the first two seasons so many times in the past year that I forgot all about that HEAVY DREAD FEELING NEW EPISODES OF THIS SHOW MAKE ME FEEL. And I’m guessing it’s not going to get any better as the season progresses 😭 They truly are so good at creating the scenes with high energy, feeling so IMMEDIATE, and Helen’s anxiety never fails to trigger mine, so 🥲

Speaking of Helen, I’m going to need to rewatch the season a second time fairly fast because as always whenever I watch something new with Anna, I am too busy thinking “SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL” in a loop to pay attention to most of what she’s saying. But she is, I absolutely LOVE the new look in season 3, the shorter hair is perfect, her logie look was gorgeous, she looked so beautiful, and then she looked even better at the end when she was all casual at her house, in jeans and with barely any make up ❤️ ANYWAY, that’s my initial, mandatory gushing about the “Anna is gorgeous” aspect of things.

This episode was a whirlwind honestly, so many things to take in already, many many emotions were felt. I love how they are setting up the pieces for the rest of the season, the way they always do. I already want to slap Rob and protect Noelene at all costs from all those men. Lindsay needs to DIE ALREADY, I swear to god if he’s not run over by a bus by the end of this show 😡

Okay let me gush over Helen a bit more substantially. I love how FAST she was hit in the face by the reality of being back in Australia, with all the network bullshit. This poor woman has so much fucking trauma associated with this industry and the way they treated her, even at the height of her career, being offered this prime time show, she still doubts herself and the legitimacy of it. The way her anxiety took over, her fighting it, I know these are just the first cracks of the season 😭 PLEASE let our girl get a proper diagnosis and proper help by the end of this I BEG YOU SHOW. Needless to say I still absolutely adore the way Anna portrays her, always saying so much in all those moments she has zero lines of dialogue.

Dale. Dale Dale Dale. DALE IS DEAD INSIDE. Him saying he felt NOTHING standing there receiving his award? Him clearly being dead inside while having a man stripping in front of him, at his request? MY SWEET WET NOODLE, WHERE IS YOUR SOUL? I love the fact that I *know* they’re setting him up to being BROKEN this season, and I cannot wait. BREAK HIM. LET HIM FEEL THINGS AGAIN. I AM READY TO HURT WITH HIM.

Serious talk though, THE HELEN x DALE CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE???? 😭😭😭😭 Minute one in the restaurant, you can tell the love is still there. Minute two you can also tell they’re still shit at communicating so hahaha joke is on us as much as on them. Helen saying he was her only non-disaster yet they were pretty disastrous and him just…“I don’t think we were” DALE MY MAN YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME.

Don’t get me started on Helen losing her shit at the logies realizing she was going to “betray” Dale. Her trying NOT TO SAY IT. DALE’S SPEECH 30 SECONDS LATER THANKING HELEN FOR SEEING THE NEWSREADER IN HIM????? 😭😭😭

You know last year I loved talking about how Noelene and Rob’s relationship acted as a foil to Helen and Dale’s (as did Gerry and Carla’s), with them actually talking things through when Helen and Dale did not. This episode was another beautiful example of this, with the focus being put on Noelene being (RIGHTFULLY) upset that Rob just threw the “oh, and my wife” line in his speech when she fucking produced that show, and HERE IS DALE JENNINGS, on stage, thanking Helen for seeing him and making this possible for him, WHEN THEY ARE BROKEN UP AND ESTRANGED.

ALSO, talking of parallels, the hotel scene KILLED ME. I believe it was a VERY DELIBERATED CHOICE by Emma to frame Dale and that man the way she did, because that’s basically how Dale and Helen were framed in that hotel scene at the end of 2x01.

And Helen hoping so hard that they can remain “friends” despite the competition, when everything on Dale’s face tells you “naaaaah not gonna happen” but he smiles his empty smile and says “yeaaah sure” 😭 HE’S GONNA TAPE ALL OF HER SHOWS THOUGH BECAUSE HE’S DALE.

Anyway so much more to say, but I still want to watch another episode before attempting sleep, I need to find myself a paper bag to breathe in.

(just realized I didn’t mention the Dale and Kay thing once, but I think that says a lot in itself, no offence to Kay but NO THANK YOU)

(((Also, I hate the wig. I hate it so much)))

3.02 A New Era

(This ended up being me live commenting this episode because I kept getting so anxious/upset that I had to take breaks)

“Human conversations are not this boy’s strong suit” Lindsay, I hate you, but this does describe Dale a little too well.

Evelyn butting in and listening in to her daughter’s phone conversation with Dale is such an Evelyn thing to do. Also, look, I am aware that Kay and Dale are unsubstantial at this stage of the show and they’re only doing this to get us riled up, but guess what? IT IS WORKING.

Currently taking a pause from the episode because Lindsay is being a fucking ass and trying to feed Helen’s team fake news for her to read on her first show is STRESSING ME OUT I CANNOT DO THIS.

Ugh, the “HELEN’S MENTAL HEALTH” MUSICAL THEME KICKING OFF IN THE BACKGROUND FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SEASON I AM NOT READY.

Aaaand indeed, I was not ready, crying actual tears at Helen losing her shit at work in front of everyone, this is going to be a long season I AM FINE 😭

GUYS EVERYONE IS SCREAMING IN THIS EPISODE WHAT THE HELL I LOVE IT BUT I CAN’T TAKE IT

God Vincent’s comment about how she’s the first woman on a prime time show and we “can’t even see her tits” I want to kill all those men I SWEAR TO GOD

I am dying inside at the PARALLELS of Helen and Dale watching a tape of Helen’s first show, which was shit, while Dale kicked ass, like THIS IS HOW THE SHOW STARTED BUT WITH THEIR PLACES SWITCHED.

I keep having to pause this episode, I’m so upset at Helen being told off by her new boss for having mental health issues that interfere with her work, I clearly did not buy enough tissues for this season. I mean, it HAS to be addressed, she does have to seek PROPER help, but the way it’s just…thrown at her, always, it’s too real and heartbreaking. THE PATRONIZING!!!

Not gonna lie, kinda loving the fact that Dale is learning to assert himself with his man friend he pays for sex and that he’s learning to use those skills with Lindsay. Somehow it’s unsettling and awkward and very Dale and I’m thriving.

I wanted to talk a little about Noelene and baby Hana (and Rob lol) because CONGRATS NOELENE, but right now I’m too busy ugly crying over that scene of Helen admitting to the psychiatrist that she’s been struggling her whole life. Oh this punched me in the GUTS.

That’s my cue to take a break and get some sleep, dear lord, my own mental health is not equipped for this.

~~

Alright, back at at it after less than 5h of sleep, I don’t foresee myself crying less. I’ve been thinking about the first couple episodes over and over, and I’ve realized the start of this season feels skewed. And a big part of it is because of Dale.

In those first two episodes, Helen is more alive than ever, full of emotions that overwhelm her, and you FEEL for her. Usually, I feel that for Dale, too, with his big wet eyes and the constant panic in 2/3 of the scenes he’s in. But so far this season? I feel nothing, except concern for him. He’s just empty, he’s pretending with everyone, at work, with Kay, with Helen. He’s struggling to be in control in any way he can, paying for what I can’t really describe as intimacy, since he’s using those moments to try asserting any kind of control.

Plus, he’s got a terrible wig, but I’m aware that’s mostly me overfixating on it.

I also know something’s gotta give. I’m suspecting episode 3 will do that, one way or another.

It's 6am, let’s gooooo

3.03 Behind the Front Line

HOLY HELL, this episode came for me!!! My favorite one of the season so far, shockingly I know haha, with it containing Helen’s long awaited diagnosis and that famous improv scene at her house.

Let me say it again: HOLY HELL 😭😭😭

I seriously love the way they handled Helen learning what her diagnosis is, from her figuring it out on her own by doing research, to her losing her shit as a result of her psychiatrist confirming it. I’ve figured it was borderline personality disorder a long time ago when I first watched the show and did research before starting to write fanfic about her, because I wanted to understand her better and be mindful in the way I wrote her, and like her doctor said, she ticked so many of those boxes.

Don’t get me started on how Dale reassures her with “All I see is you” to counter her saying he must have seen it, must have known. He’s not brushing off or denying the messiest parts of her, he’s acknowledging them, basically saying it’s always been part of her, and he’s loved her as she was and as she is. Beautiful, beautiful scene, Anna’s acting was insane, absolutely insane, cannot wait to rewatch it in a loop until every frame is carved in my neurodivergent brain.

I am so worried for my boy Dale though, he’s so fucking dead inside. Still practicing sounding normal in front of mirrors, like the beautiful neurospicy human that he is. Helen being surprised that he’s throwing himself a birthday party and him being literally “it’s a social event, it’s a normal thing to do” DALE MY LOVE YOU ARE ALLOWED NOT TO FIT IN.

I do not trust whatever is going on between him and Kay. I don’t understand how anyone can fall for Dale *right now*. Like I get why both Helen and Tim were swooning over Dale in s1 because he was so squishy and nerdy and sweet and full of tears, but THIS Dale Kay is interacting with? HE’S A SHELL OF A HUMAN BEING. He’s just as much of a lifeless husk on the desk as he is away from it and IT HURTS MY SOUL. So yeah, Kay saying “I love the way you make me feel” I’m just??? Also, the fact that she keeps comparing him to her dad, haha. Anyway, I don’t sense this ‘relationship’ going anywhere healthy given the state of things.

Also, LINDSAY???? He didn’t actually give Noelene her maternity leave, at all???? Being a fucking racist???? Crashing the party and having a temper tantrum???? I am not surprised by any of this but god this man deserves a heart attack or a stroke for fuck’s sake.

Noelene is absolutely fabulous, LOVE the way she just said fuck it and gave the story to Helen, then JOINED Helen, like YES QUEEEEEEENS.

I have no idea what to expect for the second half of the season, although I suspect since the first half was more about Helen’s mental health and job, the second half will focus more on Dale’s mental health and job, as in, I’m waiting for him to break. Guessing the 6th and final episode titled “The Fall” might feature a bit of that. Our boy is drinking a lot. Like, A LOT.

3.04 One Team, All Brothers

Ugh. UGH.

I always loved how this show handles complex topics, and this episode was as strong as ever. I’m GLAD Rob’s attitude toward racism was brought to light, Noelene absolutely killed it. Rob’s scene with Deano…man 😭

Equally loved Helen’s journey through this episode, how she’s trying to help but as always she’s confronted to people around her not wanting to stir the pot, and how in the end, she is just another “white woman” because, well, she is. LYNUS THOUGH, so so glad to have more of him, he’s so wonderful ❤️

I am so so in love with the way they show Helen working so hard on not losing it at work, using strategies and calling her therapist like, I can’t remember seeing this side of mental health portrayed on tv like this before, it is so validating. And watching it WORK, watching how it allows her to ground herself. And sure it might not always work, but at least she’s being given the tools to handle those overwhelming emotions, and I’m so proud of her.

Talking of in love, I did not see the “I’m in love with you” from Bill thing coming, but I am here for the drama. I don’t even blame this man, he spent months with her overseas where she was clearly thriving, he got to see the best side of her, and yeah, we’ve all been there, Bill. Curious to see how that’s going to impact the next two episodes because talk about awkward, he’s executive producer 💀

NERVOUS about the Kay and Dale thing. They make me uncomfortable, as stated in my previous comments for episode 3, this is not love, this is them using each other for very different reasons. Nervous about Dale’s escort not being as discreet in the future as Dale hopes he’ll be. Also, EVELYN?? I get that she’s “looking out for her daughter” but what a fucking bitch, as Helen would say.

Also I just gotta say, that bit at the start, with Helen and Dale watching those parodies of themselves :’)) How Helen is just finding it all so hilarious, including the parody of her (which is so funny honestly), while Dale is just…well, dead inside, BECAUSE THAT IS JUST DALE’S DEFAULT MODE THIS SEASON.

God I do hope we start seeing him crack soon, I am so desperate for some EMOTIONS FROM HIM. And I gotta say, this show as always is great at surprising me. 4 episodes out of 6, and so far, none of the ‘ugly competition’ between Helen and Dale I was expecting/fearing from the promo and season synopsis. Yes their shows are against one another, timewise, and yes, there’s competition between networks, but it’s like, in the background, and it’s not seemed to have impacted whatever version of ‘friendship’ they both have at the moment. I put ‘friendship’ in quotes because well, see my “DALE IS DEAD INSIDE” comments. This poor man is just existing right now.

I’m wondering if Helen is so focused on her show and working on herself (as she should ❤️) and just happy that Dale is still part of her life in some capacity, that she’s not yet gone “hey honey, you look and sound a little like a fucking zombie, let’s talk about this”. I’m also thinking, between their schedules and him dating Kay, they don’t actually see each other that often, and never for long. I’m just…I want someone to ACKNOWLEDGE that Dale is not doing well, and I would 1000% appreciate it most if it was Helen 😭

3.05 On the Brink

There is something incredibly sad in the fact that Helen’s comments on air, about how shame and isolation are what makes having mental health issues so unbearable, are being said on a show that takes place in 1989, yet are still extremely relevant to this day, 35 years later. There has been great progress, but not enough. It’s 2025 and struggling with anxiety or depression, or anything of the sort, is STILL so misunderstood by most people, still hush hush.

That being said, I am so incredibly moved, so so grateful, that the show has chosen to bring so much light on mental health through Helen. I’m going to need to process everything in this episode but that was beautifully cathartic, can’t quite talk about it properly yet.

Also, absolutely heartbroken about Dale completely spiraling, between the drinking and the drugs, while being fucking blackmailed. The final episode clearly is called “The Fall” for a very good reason 😭 A little terrified to watch it, as it will be THE END, so I’m going to make myself some lunch instead. But given how beautifully they’ve handled Helen’s story in those last 5 episodes, I absolutely trust that they put just as much care in Dale’s breaking point. I also trust the fact that in the past, whenever one of them broke, the other was there to catch them. And I cannot wait for that.

One last thing about this episode, I feel like Helen turning down Bill is another proof of the progress she’s made. She has a fear of abandonment, she latches on to people who are showing her the slightest bit of love, of attention, even when it’s the toxic kind, and she’s not been shy about seeking pleasure. And here you have this man who’s telling her he loves her, who’s her boss (another pattern in her previous lifestyle), and she says no.

I am so proud of her 😭

3.06 The Fall

This was so fucking hard to watch. The first part of it with Dale’s breakdown, absolutely heartbreaking, I was literally clutching at my face and hiding my eyes at times. The self-loathing was difficult to WATCH, I just…Sam Reid, what the fuck, his performance. It WAS like watching a trainwreck in real time. The part with him hitting himself, and listening to those awful audience comments over and over and over again 😭 This man was in so much pain, and SO touch-starved, needing real connection but not finding it 😭

It did bother me that they made the plot decision to just....let Dale sit on that desk, CLEARLY DRUNK and looking the way he did, when a few episodes ago, Helen was sent home straight away when she tried doing her show while drunk/high. If they couldn’t keep him off the desk at least don’t go live and put the “technical issues” screen on, and DON’T LEAVE HIM ON AIR FOR SO LONG.

God Lindsay really is a fucking villain, him looming over Dale, just…the psychological abuse was so so hard to watch.

He didn’t just deserve to be sacked, HE DESERVED TO BE RUN OVER BY A BUS. That being said I’m extremely glad the show ended with him gone, and Dennis stepping in.

Ugh I absolutely love Noelene telling Helen exactly what she thinks. Not only did she stand up for herself, she also gave Helen the last push she needed to call the shots for HER show.

The image of her being the lone woman at that table full of men once again berating her, was so damn powerful, ESPECIALLY the way she just let them have their trantrum, only to calmly tell them “No” and step away like, QUEEN.

Oh and Helen's "I'm not gonna be punished because I didn't want to fuck you" to Bill?

The Helen x Dale content was so scarce this season, but I don’t actually mind it? Like, the shipper in me mourns the fact that we didn’t get more and will never get more, but I’m a fic writer, I’ll make more 😏 I am 150% happy with the fact that they focused so much more on Helen’s journey through taking care of her mental health, and Dale stepping away from this toxic, TOXIC environment.

Also all the call backs to season 1 guys, I cannot 😭 Her ‘rescuing’ him, the dialogue being almost exactly the same from the pilot 😭😭😭 Not gonna lie the fact that it’s basically how I started my own “helen x dale post s2 fix it fic” over a year ago gives me warm feelings. Also, I am terrible person for thinking this but when Dale told his mum that what was in the paper was true (about him being with men) and he said “I love you, I hope you can still love me” and she said NOTHING? I thought “well I’m not so sorry I killed you off in my fic now” because?!!! 🙃 I’m sure she’ll come around and everything, she STAYED with him, but it's still a gut punch compared to Helen’s “I love you just the way you are” in season 1 after he told her the truth.

Honestly, I didn’t know what kind of ending I wanted for these two as a pair, except that this is what I was hoping for, since I figured there wouldn’t me any romantic ending. Them CLEARLY in each other’s lives, clearly better when they have each other, with me free to imagine that when Dale comes home from Germany, he smooches the hell out of Helen and they get acquainted with her couch again :’))

(you know she's thinking about that couch)

(can we blame her? LOOK AT HIM)

I’m going to need to rewatch this season at least once or twice in the next week to really take it all in. I am so sad that it’s over, overwhelmed with so many emotions after taking it all in so fast, but also very content. I feel they wrapped everyone’s storyline beautifully, and left us on a GOOD, positive note, full of hope.

And again, so beyond grateful for how truly Helen focused this last season was.

God that was so beautiful.

[w2soneshots]

omgg i’d love to see like youtuber!reader and bach, maybe like a silly little q&a? or even one of those cute but kinda cringe couple challenges from like 2010 loll ( like the chapstick challenge or smth ). obviously don’t feel pressured to write this if you don’t want to!! love ur work btw 🩷

Q&A -Italian Bach

words: 0.7k+

warnings: suggestive content.

summary: you and Bach answer his fans weird and funny questions about your relationship.

notes: hello lovely!💗 Thank you so much for your request (I apologise for posting it so late🙈). This was actually so much fun to write and it’s also my first fic for Italian Bach, hehe. I hope you enjoy!!✨🫶🏼

"Hello m' lady," Isaac greeted me at his apartment door, stepping aside to let me in. I giggled before softly pecking him on the lips.

We were both quite new to the whole youtuber thing just eight months ago. We met through a friend and decided to film a video together. The fans started shipping us, as they do, and something else ended up blossoming between us.

"Ready to film?" I asked, after we'd spent a little while chatting on his sofa. "Yup!" He jumped up and then reached for my hands to pull me up and off the couch.

He brought another chair into the spare bedroom so we could both sit at his desk, then he turned the camera on and we got started.

"Hello, my little gremlins," he began in a strange voice, I didn't bat an eyelid since I was fully used to his antics. "Today I have my girlfriend here to answer some of your questions. So get comfy and maybe get some popcorn or something."

I shuffled in the chair as he pulled out his phone. "Okay... Jacob asked, do you guys fuc-" he faked a gasp and I raised my eyebrows. "Jacob that is absolutely disgusting, you little virgin man... ew, but the answer to your question is yes. Anything to say on the matter y/n?" I breathed out a laugh. "Nope. I think you covered all bases."

"Next! Lillian, ah... can never trust a Lillian," I furrowed my brows. "What why?" "I have my reasons. Okay, she asked when did you realise you loved y/n?" "Aw, that's cute!" I smiled.

"Umm... probably when I got some of that poosay!" "Isaac!" I playfully slapped his arm. "No no, I'm joking! It was after we'd just finished filming a video and we ordered dinner and I realised that even the boring, simple things I always enjoyed doing it if it was with you."

"Oh my god, that was actually such a sweet answer, the tiktok editors are gonna eat that up." He chuckled as he knew I was right.

"Do you wanna read this one?" He asked. I nodded and took the phone. "Wolfman57 asked when we want kids," my eyes widened as I read the message. "First of all, I love your username, secondly that's a big question to ask, wolfman." Bach stated.

"Why don't we get back to you in a few years?" I opted. "Yes, we shall do that," Isaac seconded. "Moving on... oh lord, Sam asked, what's the biggest animal you think you could fit up your ass?" "Woah Sam, that's crazy," Bach grimaced.

"Why don't you take the phone back?" I said and he quickly took it. "I'm sorry your eyes had to witness that my love," he joked.

After quite a few interesting questions we were onto the last one. I leaned my head on Isaac's shoulder so that I could see the phone. "Okay... finally, Laura asked, what's our favourite thing about each other?"

"Ooo, I like this!" I grinned. "My favourite thing about you is your ability to find the good in any situation. Though an honourable mention is that fat ass," he answered.

I scoffed. "That was sweet and you know what... I'll take it. Okay, now yours, my kind sir, would be your funny little jokes and the way they make me belly laugh. Along with the mullet," I smirked as I ran my hand over the back of his hair.

"Thank you for watching till the end, obviously y/n will be back soon so put any requests of things you want to see us film in the comments!" "Nothing dirty," I added. Bach chuckled before turning the camera off.

"That was perfect." "You're perfect, now let's go get some lunch," he responded, standing. "You know... if we order something, that usually takes like twenty minutes to come..." "ah... what do you suggest we do while we wait ma'am?" "I don't know, a lot can be accomplished in twenty minutes," I replied with a cheeky smile.

In and instant he'd grabbed me and flung me over his shoulder. I let out a shriek and giggled as he ran with me into our bedroom.

[monstrousproductions]

I haven't posted anything for a while and don't have much podcast related news to share so I guess it's time forrrrrr....

✨Impromptu Book Club!✨

What's been on your bedside table lately? Anything good? Anything deliciously dreadful? I've been very firm in sticking to my new year's resolution not to buy any new books, which has had the delightful side effect of really increasing the amount I've been using my local library. Having fun isn't hard when you have your library card! Now, onto the books 😍

Currently Reading:

Rules for Perfect Murders (I think the American ed is Eight Perfect Murders? Much better title tbh) by Peter Swanson (audiobook performed by Graham Halstead). A bookseller at a shop specialising in crime fiction learns that someone is killing people according to a list he made of perfect murders in fiction, posted on the shop's blog some years ago. I started this like "oh I know what's happening here" and then Peter Swanson reached out of my phone and held my face in his hands and grinned and said "oh you do, do you?" Having an absolute hoot, do recommend.

I'm also reading The Kingdom of Copper by S.A. Chakraborty, as a direct result of my new year's resolution. I bought the first in the series, City of Brass, years ago and never read it. Picked it up last month and spent almost all of it thinking, "Wow, I wish this was better. I'm definitely not going to read the rest, but I do want to see how it ends." And then EVERYTHING kicked off in the last few chapters, and I immediately put a hold on for Kingdom of Copper at the library.

Recently Finished:

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (audiobook performed by Hugh Fraser) - The one where everyone gets invited to an island and popped off one by one. Got genuinely spooked listening to this at night, and had to turn it off 😅 As always with Christie, I had good fun being told how it all happened but didn't care in the least about anyone involved.

Emma by Jane Austen (audiobook by Juliet Stevenson) - I've listened to this over and over, and it's perfect every single time. By far my favourite Austen, and especially my favourite Austen heroine, not in a "she did nothing wrong" way but rather a "she absolutely did lots wrong and isn't that delicious" way.

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher - A fantastic wee novella that wastes no time getting stuck into the story and the world around it. A retelling of The Fall of the House of Usher, now with added mushrooms. Having read Mexican Gothic recently, it'd be impossible not to draw comparisons. While both were fun, I think there was quite a bit more skill on show here.

The Last Murder at the End of the World by Stuart Turton (audiobook performed by Adjoa Andoh) - I love Adjoa Andoh with the power of a thousand suns, even when she is reading me a relatively boring story. A post-apocalyptic murder mystery, this should have been right up my street. But it lacked oomph, and I never had this on without having something more interesting to do while I listened.

Binned Off:

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (audiobook performed by Ramón de Ocampo) - Started strong, and I was having a good time, but for a relationship with such huge stakes on paper, I never felt them while I was listening. It felt like every obstacle was very quickly overcome, and I found I didn't really care one way or the other. Eventually I turned it off and just... never went back.

That's it for me - how about yous lot? Let me know what you've been reading the last wee while! 📚✨

[theladysherlock]

talk shop tuesday! incredible coincidence - i wanted to ask you more about your dnd OCs, and you posted a new art piece with one of them! continuing the theme: could you tell more about your dnd OCs and how they came to be?

Ohhhh you have opened Pandora's Box my friend!! I could talk about this topic all day.

Basically there's two parts to this: my approach to DnD in general, and in-depth explanations of the characters. I'm going to put this under a Read More to save everyone's Dash.

Part One: Dungeons and Dragons

So the thing I love most about DnD (and other TTRPGs) is that it's a collaborative game. I'm not responsible for the entirety of the story, I bring my character to the table and everyone else brings their characters and between us, the DM, and the dice, we figure out where the story is going. I enjoy it so much more than trying to come up with everything on my own. And I love that people can surprise me!! @mothmansbigfatass and @ahawkmet (my irl friends and in most of the campaigns I play) can attest, apparently I'm a lot of fun to watch during revelations because I always have a big reaction.

So when making a dnd character, it's important for me to know 1. What the world we'll be playing in is like, and 2. What everyone else is doing. Again, it's a collaborative game, so I want to make sure that I'm playing nice with the DM's world. AND often the setting itself will give me an idea (see Ethan: the game is set at a community college. What's a college stereotype that would be fun to play?). Ideally, the character I make would have a really hard time being plopped into a different campaign and have it still make sense. Secondly, it's more fun for me to play a class that will fill out the party. For example, if we already have a cleric, I don't also need to play a religious character. Those story beats are covered by someone else, I don't want to be competing with another person for cool moments.

Once those two things are settled, character creation is determined by what seems fun to play and what would be interesting aesthetically. I like to keep the backstory light to see what happens as we start playing, and then I can fill it in bit by bit later. Sometimes that bites me in the ass, though (see Ethan: I didn't give him birth parents and then they were incredibly important to the plot). I tend to have a general idea about who they are and what they're like, and then I always get surprised by what they actually end up acting like once we start playing. It's fun for me to figure them out along the way!

The last thing I wanna say about DnD (for now) is that I love everyone else's characters just as much. I just draw mine more because, well, they're mine. I feel weird putting their guys in situations and guessing how they'd react because they aren't my little guys. I much prefer working collaboratively with the other players (like an RP thread) to just writing a story on my own.

Part Two: Ethan

Where to even start with my boy. A bunch of my work friends got together to start a DnD game, and I hadn't played with most of them before so I wasn't sure what to expect. I also did not think the game would last very long, since most campaigns tend to fizzle out after a few sessions. So I made kind of a joke character with extremely little backstory: He's a half-orc, since I hadn't played that race before, he's a bard who is the captain of the local community college's Improv Team, he's "the kind of guy to play wonderwall at a party but you're not mad about it", and I said he's adopted by two men, neither of whom were his biological parents, and he wasn't particularly interested in tracking down his bio parents. This last point is for two reasons: one, I was trying to avoid just duplicating a Dimension 20's Gorgug, a half-orc who was adopted by gnomes and spent the whole first season trying to find his dad; and two, I was pushing an "Adopted parents are not less than biological parents" agenda.

My DM took this personally (affectionate). First session, I was given a clue about his birth parents' identities. From then on, Ethan was dragged kicking and screaming into being the unofficial main character of the campaign. His mom was one of our favorite NPCs, a kickass pirate with a truly tragic backstory who would always jump to help us out of a scrape. His biological dad was the human embodiment of Pride who had took on the form of Fantasy Harrison Ford and was an extremely famous actor in-world. Our BBEG was his uncle, the embodiment of Greed. Every plot point became very personal and it was a lot of fun. I also loved putting him through the wringer, so between me and the DM the poor guy couldn't catch a break.

Part of the dice telling the story, I rolled so bad all the time when I played Ethan. It didn't matter which dice I used, I just rolled really bad, which was not something that normally happened with me. So that was fun to incorporate into his character as we played-- he was insecure about his own abilities compared to the extremely powerful characters he was surrounded by (we had a 20 ft Earth Titan who was an extremely powerful Druid, Emeshka you will always be famous). So he became a more three-dimensional and actualized character the more we played.

He's extremely easy to put in situations and his character design is pretty solid, so I end up drawing him the most. My perfect little guy.

(Anything about him I've tagged either "Ethan" or "Big Yarr Energy" if you want to find more)

Part Three: Mina

After the campaign with Ethan wrapped up, we started a new one in a Cthulhu-inspired setting. My goal with making Mina was to do as close to a 180 as I could from Ethan. While Ethan was a friendly and charming but bad at most things, Mina is a competent and intelligent Druid who's blunt and overworked and doesn't quite know how to meaningfully engage with her party members (but she tries, bless her). Druid was one of the classes I hadn't played yet and I've been making my way through the list of available classes. The One-With-Nature stuff isn't super interesting to me as a player, but I found a homebrew subclass that was based more in Big Cities and as an Architecture Nerd that was much more my speed. Also, I hadn't played an Aasimar before, so that seemed like fun. From all that, I pulled together her whole deal: She was from a bloodline of guardian angels who were sent to protect different villages and towns, and she's gone from her mother's small town to being the guardian of a city of several million people and it's overwhelming. She's lonely and she's jaded and she's got severe Gifted Kid Syndrome and she's got her head on a swivel to make sure her party members are okay even if they don't like her very much and I love her.

I didn't give her a lot of tragic backstory because there are a lot of us playing and I wanted to have a character who could push the plot forward with her actions, instead of having a "now let's stop and talk about my life!!" moment every session that seemed to happen with Ethan. Give everyone else some time to have cool moments, you know? And by GOD are there some cool moments. My fellow players are so good at making compelling characters. Ask @mothmansbigfatass about Nelly if you get a chance.

We're still playing this campaign, although we're nearing the end of it. There's still space for some big moments for Mina in the game, though I'm hoping our DM lets me save hers for last. She's the kind of character to make sure everyone else is okay before taking care of herself, so it feels appropriate. I'm excited to see where Mina ends up. She's definitely a character I'll go back and write/draw a lot afterwards, though. Part of being in a group this size means there's a lot of stuff that just won't get covered. I'll have a lot of material to play with for my own work once we get to the next campaign.

(Anything about Mina I've tagged either "Mina" or "Cthulhu Crimes" if you want to find more)

Part Four: Jess

Jess is a character that isn't from DnD but is a TTRPG character of mine, and I like her so I'm going to talk about her too. Jess is a cautionary tale in Knowing Your Audience.

Jess is from a different group of players than Ethan and Mina. Our DM for that game is notorious for wanting to give us Big, Shonen-Style fight scenes and an insane level of power creep. Character interactions are fine, but his true passion is making us look like Goku.

Jess was... not built to look like Goku. In this world you could identify different types of magic users by their focus, and I wanted her whole schtick to be about deception. She looked like a wizard when she was actually a monk, she looked like a dumb blonde girl when she was extremely smart and good at stealing things, she's a dancer but her primary fighting style was based on capoeira, etc. Also part of why Jess sticks with me as a favorite character is the way I had her powers work was so fun and visually interesting that I haven't been able to shake it. Basically her superpower was that she could snatch bits of other people's powers and use them herself, and you could tell which ones she had because they would fill out spectral stained glass wings with specific colors.

Jess was (and still is, frankly) too complicated for the game our DM wanted to run. Immediately any hope of her being a chronic liar was dashed as her powers did not manifest in a way that could possibly pass off as being a wizard. So instead of being sneaky, Jess became very angry. She was quick to point out injustices in the world we were in. She beat up creeps, she yelled at bigots, she stole powers from macho superheroes trying to one-up her. She had to get a lot less complicated for the story we were in, but the complicated version of her still lives in my head and I like to see what she's up to from time to time.

(I don't think I have anything tagged for Jess, unfortunately)

TL; DR:

TTRPG characters are fun because they let me do my favorite thing creatively, which is bounce ideas off of other people. I typically design them based on the setting, party needs, character tropes that I think are interesting, and just general vibes. Most importantly, though, I don't have a fleshed out character without the input of the other players.

[doux-amer]

[crowsofdarkness]

Vaz Prizrak: Chapter Eleven

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Agent! Reader.

Content Warnings: language, 18 + implied smut, angst, fluff, violence, mentions of losing a pregnancy, thoughts of taking one's life, an attempt to take one's life. I will give another warning when that chapter is posted.

Summary: Bucky and Reader have been in their own solace while in Wakanda for years. They were finally happy to create the life they wanted and deserved. That was until a new foe came along to dust it all away.

Authors Note: This takes place during Infinity War and Endgame! If you haven't yet, please read Soldat and Dorogaya beforehand.

Tags: @globetrotter28 @sakuracyberhex @chinggay85-blog @bookofriverr @misatxox @that-blonde-girl @cats-chaotic-mind @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @pumpkin-babydoll @ordelixx @starfly-nicole @j23r23 @baw1066 @capswife

Soldat Masterlist | Dorogaya Masterlist | Vaz Prizrak Masterlist

Laughter was heard throughout the large open space of the garage of the Avengers Compound where we had set up our timemachine. Natasha and I joked with each other before coming to a stop in front of the rest of our team. Steve looked on with a raised brow and a smile pulling at his lips. 

“What?” I wondered. 

“I haven’t seen that smile in a long time,” Steve admitted. 

Natasha bumped her shoulder into me. “She’s got a lot to be happy for. We’re close to getting Bucky back.”

Steve’s lips pressed in a hard line but nodded. 

“We’re getting all of them back,” he stated. 

“Plus,” Natasha started, “We decided that when this is all over that you and Bucky need to take us girls on a vacation. We’re thinking somewhere warm with beaches.” 

She patted Steve’s chest as she walked past him, over towards Clint, and Steve laughed while looking at me. 

“Ready for this?” He questioned, getting very serious quickly. 

I nodded. “As I’ll ever be.” 

We both started walking toward the platform together. 

“We’ll all have our coms on in case anything goes wrong,” Steve reminded me. 

I pulled his hand gently to stop him, seeing a very worried look in his eyes. 

“I will be fine, Steve. We all will be fine.” 

Steve nodded but I knew that he was still unsure about letting me go without him. He made that promise to Bucky before the snap that he would take care of me and with the last five years of me being on my own, Steve had vowed that he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. 

“I still don’t agree that you should be going with Nat. Her and Clint should go to Vomir and you can come with me.” His large arms crossed over his chest.  

A soft sigh fell through my lips. “Do you trust me, Steve?”

Immediately he nodded.

“Then believe it when I say that Natasha and I will be fine,” I reassured him again by placing a hand on his cheek. 

We stood there for a few beats, our eyes locked, but when the urging feeling of jealousy filled my veins I took a step back from Steve. 

It was almost as if his skin shocked my own. 

“Everything alright?” Steve asked. 

“Um, yeah. But we should probably head over to the rest of the team,” I motioned towards everyone who were standing in their own places on the platform. 

Steve knew that even if something was bothering me that now would not be the time to bring it up. We both took our spots on the platform, me standing next to Natasha.

“Five years ago, we lost.” Steve’s captain's voice came out deep and strong. “ All of us. We lost friends. We lost our family. We lost a part of ourselves.”

He then locked eyes with me, the same intense gaze as before.

“Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn’t mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we’re going to win. Whatever it takes.”

Steve reached for my hand, giving it a calming, loving squeeze. “Good luck.”

I nodded with a smile. 

“He’s really good at that,” Rocket spoke. 

“Right?” Scott agreed. 

I placed my mask over my face. “See you in a minute.” 

Steve gave me a warm smile before we all placed our hands in the middle of the platform, our bodies getting sucked into the past. 

“ONE HOUR!’ I yelled down towards Rhodey and Nebula as we dropped them off on Morag. 

As the ramp of the ship closed, I sat back in my seat next to Natasha who put the ship in auto pilot before gluing her eyes on me. 

“What?” I asked. 

A smug smile pulled at her lips while she leaned into her seat. 

“You and Steve?” 

The groan that slipped through my mouth before I could even stop it. I didn’t want her to think I was annoyed with Steve because I was far from that. 

“It’s confusing; I don’t know what’s going on between us.” I admitted. 

“You two have a lot of history that it’s hard to ignore those feelings.” Natasha pointed out. 

“I know,” I nodded. “I feel guilty for even thinking about Steve in that way because Bucky and I never actually broke up.” 

Nat placed a hand on my knee, giving it a squeeze to let me know that she understands. She had been one of my best friends for so long that she knew exactly what I was feeling before I even knew it. We may not share the same DNA but Natasha was my sister and I would die for her. 

“It’s been so long since you’ve had that kindness and lovingness shown towards you. Bucky wouldn’t hold it against you, Y/N. He would understand,” Natasha said. 

My gaze was locked in on my hands as I wrung my fingers together, one of the things I did when I was nervous. “Bucky and I have gone through so much together. I can’t forget that because Steve is creeping back into my life.” 

“No one is telling you to forget that.” Natasha stated. “But Bucky can’t be the only thing holding you back.” 

I looked into her eyes, feeling the guilt pull at my heart knowing I was keeping a large secret from her. We never kept any secrets from each other and I could tell in the way her eyes bore into mine that Natasha knew I was hiding something from her. 

“Steve is the only one that knows about this.” I started. 

“My lips are sealed.” 

She even pulled an invisible zipper over her lips, showing that she meant what she said. 

After letting out a deep breath, I gathered the courage to let the words fall from my lips. 

“Five years ago with the snap, I not only lost Bucky but our baby too.” 

A quiet gasp came from Natasha and her shoulders went stiff. 

“That’s why I went off the deep end after we killed Thanos. I thought that if we brought everyone back that it would also bring back our baby.” 

We sat in silence for a few moments, letting the words sink in deep with Natasha, before a large grin came to her face. 

“I would be the godmother, right?” She questioned. 

The laugh that sounded in the ship caused Natasha to laugh as well. 

“I wouldn’t want anyone else,” I admitted with a smile. 

A loud beeping sounded throughout the ship, letting us know that we had arrived on Vomir. The fog immediately covers our view of the planet. The eeriness of it all caused a shiver to run over my skin. 

“Let’s get this soul stone and bring back your baby daddy. I need to be a godmother as soon as possible,” Natasha smirked while we both stood, ascending down to Vomir. 

Time passed slowly as we both walked side by side on the hard ground, silence engulfing us afraid of making any type of noise. We weren’t sure if there was some form of alien life on here so the last thing we needed was a monster attacking us from behind. 

“Okay, this place officially gives me the creeps,” I said. 

“Y/N Y/L/N. Daughter of Y/F/N.” A deep, echoing voice sounded behind us.

We both turned on our heels and the flames sparked at my fingertips when I heard the mention of my fathers name. I hadn’t thought of my family in years, that part of my life almost forgotten with everything I had dealt with. 

A floating being in a dark cloak stood in front of us but underneath his hood, I saw bright red skin peeking from underneath. 

“You seem very familiar,” I spoke to this being. “How do you know us?” 

“It is my curse to know all who journey here,” he stated. 

With a quick nod over his shoulder, he beckoned us to follow him which we reluctantly agreed. 

“Can we trust this guy?” Natasha whispered over to me.

I shrugged before turning my attention back to the stranger. “How do you know this place so well?” 

“I ,too, sought the stones a lifetime ago,” he said. “But it cast me out here to guide others to something I cannot possess.”

We stopped at the edge of a very tall cliff and Natasha and I eyed each other in concern. 

The stranger looked over the cliff before coming back to us. “What you seek lies in front of you as what you fear. In order to receive the soul stone you must give it something in return; something of which you love.” 

When I realized what he meant, I looked back over to Natasha with a sad gaze. “A soul for a soul.”

The stranger let Natasha and I alone to discuss our options but I had already decided myself of what we were going to do. Daring a quick glance over the edge to the large drop, I looked back towards Natasha. I knew with the look in her eyes that she was thinking exactly the same thing I was.

“You need to make sure to tell Steve and Bucky when you get everyone back that I loved them both,” I told Natasha. 

She shook her head. “You can tell them that yourself.” 

My eyes watched in slight horror as her feet started in a fast run towards the edge of the cliff. Without a second thought, I blasted her away with a fireball, thankfully not injuring her because of her suit. 

“Oh you bitch, that hurt,” Natasha groaned in pain. 

“Give Steve what he always wanted, Nat,” I said. 

My own feet took off towards the cliff but before I could jump off, Natasha had speared me to the ground, before shooting me with her electric bracelet. 

I hissed in pain for a moment before pulling myself to my feet to chase after Nat, who I watched with fear as she made the jump. My fingers gripped hard onto her hand to stop her and I tried with all of my strength to hold her up. I wouldn’t let her sacrifice herself for what I wanted. She deserved more of a happy ending than I did. I refused to let her die for me. 

Tears welled in our eyes as we stared at one another, both refusing to let the other die for them. 

“Please, Nat,” I cried, begging her to not let go. “I can’t live with myself knowing what you’re about to do.” 

“And you think I can?” She asked, a lone tear falling over her cheek.

“Please,” I sobbed. 

“Y/N, it’s okay. You’ll always be my sister.” Natasha vowed. 

“No,” I shook my head, trying with all of my strength to pull her up. 

“You have to let me go, Y/N.” 

Our eyes locked once more and through my teared vision, a banshee scream erupted from my throat when I felt Natasha push herself off of the cliff and from my grasp, her body falling hard to the ground below. 

“NAT!” I bellowed once more. 

Before darkness took over me, the image of Natasha laying bloody on the cold ground was the last thing I remembered. 

My body had been sucked through something that felt like a water slide, the ones you used to be so excited to ride when you were little. Only this one wasn’t fun and I didn’t want to ride because it meant that I was on my way back to the present time, without Natasha.