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thesameasbe4 · 3 years

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Tangled Up in Tuscany

Sebastian Stan showing all of us that he’s really just a normal guy with a nice jaw line.

It wasn’t my first time in Tuscany, but the last time had been over ten years ago on a high school trip. I wasn’t expecting it to be quite the same experience this time, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. I stepped into the grand entrance of the hotel, doing my best not to look too out of place amidst the fine room and well dressed people. I had not traveled with the rest of the wedding party out of Atlanta, unlike the rest of them, I had a real job and couldn’t just take off three weeks for a luxurious wedding, so I was the last to arrive by about five days. And in that time I had been bombarded by the photos and messages on the bridal party group text of all the extravagant things they had been doing. Touring old churches, wine tasting, eating at the most elegant restaurants. While I was a tad jealous, I also got the impression that doing these things in the company of the other bridesmaids would perhaps detract from the overall experience. So it was what it was.

The door man walked me to the front desk where I shyly greeted the shrewd desk clerk. “Hi, I should have a reservation under LeBlanc.” I spelled it and his rather illustrious eyebrows lifted. “Tu parle francaise?” The man asked.

I smiled a little and shook my head, “Non, je ne parle pas francais, je parle l’anglais.”

“But it is a French name yes?” He pressed, and I responded in the affirmative. Seeming in better spirits he motioned to a man standing to my left in some kind of negotiation with another clerk. “It seems you two are here for the same event, do you know each other?”

I looked again at the man, he had dark brown hair and a five o’clock shadow covering his strong jaw line. He fit in here, dressed in his well cut European suit and perfectly coiffed hair. Returning my focus to the clerk and straightening my posture, I responded, “Nope, never met him.”

“I think you stole my room,” the gentleman interjected in what I was surprised to hear was an American accent.

I raised an eyebrow in his direction, “Indeed? I have arrived just now, so I don’t know how that can be possible.”

“No look, I think Liz switched the name on the last available room,” he persisted.

“Well I guess you do know the bride then,” I said, noting his casual use of my friend’s name. I replied, “Why would she do that?”

“Look I don’t know, but Joe said there was a room waiting for me here and that was a few days ago.”

I pulled out my phone, planning on giving the bride and groom a call to get this sorted out when the big white numbers on the screen reminded me that it was 3 AM. Sighing, I looked at the clerk, “Are there any more vacant rooms?”

“No madame,” he responded, his voice pinched again like when I first arrived, “that was how we first developed this misunderstanding.”

“I guess that makes sense.” I looked again at the gentleman, “Can you prove you know Liz and Joe?” He reached in to his inside jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. He swiped around till he found what he wanted and handed it to me.

“That was two years ago in Prague, we worked a movie together.” My eye swept the screen, finally making out the face of the man that stood before me in a cluster of several other people dressed in period clothing. “Also, Joe is allergic to shellfish, which he learned while in Hawaii only after eating an entire shrimp and pineapple pizza.” I laughed, anyone who knew Joe had heard that story.

“Well, you can bunk in my room tonight if you are desperate, then we can get this all settled at a decent hour tomorrow.” I wiggled my room card at him.

“I don’t wan’t to impose,” he said, suddenly looking concerned.

“Look, you already have. All I want is a hot shower and a few hours of sleep, and this compromise is now the quickest way to getting that.”

Maintaining eye contact with me he worried his lower lip, “okay, I guess.”

So we made our way to the elevator. “And I do really appreciate it,” he said as the elevator started going up, “I hope I wasn’t too rude, I just always have really bad luck in Italy.”

“Well let’s hope this trip breaks the cycle, cause I don’t know that I will get another shot at a Tuscany vacation.” I said stepping out of the elevator and into the hallway, locating our door by the small pile of bags that were waiting for us.

I handed him the key as I gathered my things. “Um, I think we made a very American mistake,” came a voice from inside the room.”

“Huh?” I said confusedly, groaning as I came to stand next to him. The room only had one bed.

…

A string of profanity ambled out of my mouth as I stripped in the bathroom. I had insisted that I didn’t need to be put up in such a nice hotel, especially if Liz was paying for me, but no, she wanted me to be with the rest of the wedding party, she wanted me to get along with her fancy Hollywood friends. So here I was in a swanky ass hotel with a strange man that I had, in my fatigue and delirium, decided to trust.

After several minutes of letting the hot water loosen my back and shoulders I climbed out of the shower and slipped into a pair of leggings and a tank top. “It’s all yours,” I said as I traipsed past the much too small bed on which the stranger was lounging.

“Hey, whats your name?” He asked and I stopped, realizing I hadn’t even thought to ask him his God damned name.

“Michelle,” I said, holding my hand out to him. He grasped it firmly and shook.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Sebastian.”

I fell into a fitful rest quickly after laying down and I didn’t wake up till the sun began to enter the room through the gorgeous doors that let out onto the little balcony. I took a deep breath, finally taking in the fact that I was in Tuscany, for a glamorous wedding, and I didn’t have to pay for any of it. Then I flexed my arms, realizing too late that what I had thought was a pillow last night was actually the hulking form of a man. Shit what did he say his name was? Sebastian. I pulled my arm away from him quickly but the damage was done.

“Morning,” he groaned, sitting up. I replied with a wave of my hand, too embarrassed to speak, hiding my head back in the sheets. I felt the mattress move as he slid off the edge and bustled around the room and then let himself out. Now that the coast was clear I sat up and rubbed my eyes, forcing myself to wake up. I pulled my hair up into a quick bun then looked around me for my phone. I had sent Liz a string of panicked texts last night about the room situation that she hadn’t replied to till this morning.

Sorry about the confusion. No, Sebastian isn’t a serial killer. Welcome to Tuscany! Meet us in the lobby at 10.

I glanced at the time. It was barely seven. I cursed jet lag as I marched into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I heard the door open while I was in the bathroom and stuck my head out.

Sebastian had returned with a porter, who placed a matching pair of brown leather suitcases in the closet (I guess all of Sebastian’s luggage hadn’t made it here last night) and then returned wheeling in a cart full of food. My nose perked at the smell of coffee and I hoped he was planning on sharing.

“So Liz finally confirmed that you aren’t a serial killer,” I said, leaning against a wall.

He smiled at me, “Oh, good. Well I just spoke to Joe, he told me the same about you.” I nodded, smiling now. “I got a little worried last night when you had me in a death grip,” he said, winking at me.

I cleared my throat and looked at the ceiling, “yea I’m a hard sleeper, I cannot account for the actions of my subconscious.” My gaze drifted to the cart with the heavenly smells of coffee wafting from it.

“Compliments of the bride and groom, for the mix up, I think we got in the way of some kind of argument they were having,” Sebastian said, handing me a white mug with cappuccino foam peaking over the brim.

…

It was two days before the wedding and I was beginning to think I should have delayed even longer. Liz had sent me instructions for both Seb and I to “dress casual” for the day which would be mostly wandering town. What I forgot was that casual meant something very different to a common working woman like myself than to the other rich Hollywood people I had to deal with on this trip. After greeting my friend finally and listening to her reassure me that I was not under dressed in my plain dark wash jeans and chunky sweater, I skulked to the back of the group taking in the dozen or so perfectly sculpted bodies adorned with designer heels, leisure jackets and other decidedly not casual ensembles. I had not seen my roommate come down to the lobby but as we headed out I noticed that he was wearing a very modest ensemble of black jeans, polished shoes and a blue denim jacket over a plain green shirt. I tipped my hat to him silently, either he was a normal like me or he was down to earth, either way I was glad to have gotten stuck with him rather than any of the others.

In the town of Sienna I lagged back, finding the group too noisy and attention grabbing. One of the tall skinny women in our party turned and waved at me, beckoning me closer. I took a few long strides to catch up with them.

“Your Liz’s friend that came in last night right?” She asked.

“Yep,” I replied.

“OMG, so your sharing a room with Sebastian then!”

Raising my eyebrows I replied again, “yep.”

“Well, whats he like?”

“Um, I don’t really know, I slept most of the time we were together, I assume he did too,” I offered in a confused tone. Who was this guy?

“But isn’t he so hot?” The woman asked.

“Well I was mostly concerned that he was a murderer when I first met him, I mean, he wasn’t happy and then I wasn’t actually sure he actually was with the wedding party.”

“But you knew who he was, so what did it matter if he was in the wedding party?”

Utterly confused I said, “Wait, who is he? Why should I know him?”

The woman giggled, “Sebastian Stan? He’s an actor in the Avengers franchise? He’s got a huge fan base and is notoriously private.

Okay so I didn’t really know much about those films but I was intrigued now and despite my greatest efforts to pay him no more mind than I had been, I noticed him more the rest of the day. Many of the women in our group would find reasons to stand next to him, they would grab his arm and laugh, or touch his chest. Interestingly, as the afternoon slipped into evening, he seemed to grow visibly agitated with all of the attention. By dinner time he looked like he was barely holding his polite facade together.

We were scheduled to all eat together at a very nice restaurant, however there was some conversation amongst Liz and Joe and our guides and they made a last minute call to eat separately. I was confused by this, the whole trip having felt micro managed up to this point, but I was glad to get away from the group that I felt so apart from and I took off rather than wait around for an explanation. There was a lovely outdoor patio bar down the street from where we were staying, so I leisurely walked that way.

The air was comfortably cool and I tilted my head back to breathe in the smells of the sleepy town as I sipped my wine. This was the kind of night I would have loved to enjoy with Lizzy, but that was before the days when she was famous.

“You must be American,” a voice behind me said. I turned to see two young Italian men standing behind me. As if that was an invitation to join me, they moved to sit in the vacant chairs on either side of me. “So what are you doing in our town?” One of them asked me in a thick accent and placed a hand on my knee, I shivered at how freely he touched me. I crossed my legs, shrugging his hand off of me. They both looked at ease and there were other people around us so it seemed generally safe, but I didn’t feel like doing this tonight. I slid my chair back, stood and walked to the far side of the bar, out of their line of vision. If they followed me I knew I would just have to leave so I steadied myself for that possibility.

It seemed at first like they had lost interest, but about ten minutes later I heard their laughter moving in my direction. But before I decided how to react I felt a warm hand settle on my lower back. “Hey, don’t freak out, It’s just me.” I looked up at the voice speaking into my ear and saw the grey blue eyes of my roommate. “There are two guys that have been staring at you from across the room, I wanted to make sure you knew that.” I nodded at him in thanks. But the men’s voices drew closer still so I turned to face Sebastian.

“Flirt with me,” I said to him.

“What?”

“They have already been bothering me,” I replied trying to keep my eyes on Sebastian and not give the men any reason to come closer. He nodded and moved closer to me so that we were sharing the same space. He kept his hand on my back and the other one combed through my hair. He touched his forehead to mine and laughed. After a second he drew away just enough to look up, scanning the bar for the two men.

I’m gonna kiss you okay?” He said. I gulped and nodded, after I had agreed, he drew my face up to his and very gently touched his lips to mine, leaving them there for a few seconds then breaking away from me. “They’re leaving,” he said and I sighed, though I honestly wasn’t sure if it was in relief or in reaction to the kiss.

…

I sat against the headboard of the bed, my hair drying from the shower and I flipped through the Italian television channels, trying to ignore how strangely domestic it felt to be sharing a hotel room with this person. A man who was apparently a very well known movie star who had recently helped me out of a sticky situation by kissing me. I held a cup of tea in my hands. I was bringing it to my lips when Sebastian emerged from the bathroom a napkin of a towel wrapped around his waist. My hands trembled just enough at the sight of his sculpted torso to spill hot tea all over my lap.

“Fuck,” I said as I stood, pulling the now damp fabric of my leggings away from my skin.

“You okay?” He asked, looking up from rummaging in his bag.

“I’m fine,” I shot back at him, “just put some goddamn pants on,” I muttered. He laughed and I squeezed my eyes shut, “I guess he had heard that,” I thought to myself. He straightened with a wad of clothes triumphantly held aloft then retreated to the bathroom again to change.

“By the way,” I said when he finally came back out, “thanks for the assist there in the bar.”

He winked at me, “Well I’m sure you’d do the same for me,” he said.

“But I haven’t,” I replied, “I have been watching women throw themselves at you all day and I did nothing to save you, “so really, what you did was an unselfish act.”

He walked to his side of the mattress that never felt so small and threw himself down, making the whole frame shake. “Yea, well none of them looked as hostile as those two men.” He shifted so that he was laying on his back distractedly watching the Italian soap opera that I had found. Soon he was breathing steadily with just a very light snore. I smiled and looked down at him. He really was very nice looking. He had well defined features, long eyelashes and full lips. I caught myself biting one of my own lips and rolled my eyes. Deciding that looking at him like this was creepy I switched the tv off and turned the light off, easing down into the sheets.

I was just on the verge of unconsciousness when I felt Sebastian’s arm wrap around my stomach and pull me into him. His body was relaxed but still solid. I hadn’t realized how big he was. I thought for a moment that I should release myself, that it was the right thing to do, but he wouldn’t know I was awake. Maybe I shouldn’t disturb him? He shifted again this time nuzzling his scratchy chin into the back of my neck, and if I wasn’t mistaken, his lips were pressed up against the back of my ear. Now throughly enjoying his contact I relaxed into him, laying my arm on top of his.

…

Sebastian’s alarm went off at seven the next morning, the day before the ceremony being filled with activities. I groaned at the shrill sound and was startled to realize my voice was muffled by something I was laying on. I moved my head around, trying to get my bearings without opening my eyes yet. It couldn’t be a pillow, it smelled too good and was too solid.

“Morning,” the thing under me said. I stiffened. Apparently I had managed to fully lay the length of my body on top of Sebastian in the course of the night. He was still on his back and his hands were resting on my bottom, my head was nestled into the crook of his neck and my hands were splayed over his chest. Instead of being embarrassed, I found that I really was just comfortable.

“Do we really have to get up?” I whined into his chest.

I felt his rumbling laugh, “Well I don’t really wanna face the wrath of Lizzy if we don’t show up on time,” he said.

“I thought you were my protector?” I said. He patted my bottom a few times and tried to shift me off of him but I wouldn’t budge.

“I’ll bring you up a cappuccino if you let me get up,” he said. With one more groan fit for the stage I let him roll out from under me. He stood over me for a second and I looked up at him with a mock hurt look on my face. And then before I had time to think, he leaned over me, one hand on either side of me and gently brought his lips to mine.

It was brief but lovely.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered in my ear before turning and leaving the room.

Now fully awake I wandered about the room, unsure of what to do with myself. I pulled out of my suitcase the outfit I was planning on wearing today. The “rehearsal dinner” was more of a rehearsal excursion to the countryside complete with a quartet to play classical Italian music and a wait staff serving Prosecco all day. Lizzy had said to wear “cocktail casual” but I had no idea what the hell that meant. I had settled on a dark burgundy romper. The neckline was a low v and the straps criss-crossed in the back. I laid it out on the bed and was still assessing it when Sebastian returned, a tray of coffee in his hands. Intoxicated by the smell I lifted one of the steaming cups off of the tray and retreated to the small balcony. The morning was cool and the view overlooked the mediterranean rooftops of the little town. I breathed deeply the crisp air and the fragrant coffee.

Sensing his presence behind me I spoke up, “I never would have imagined that visiting a place this beautiful would be such a headache.”

He came to stand next to me. Leaning forward so that his arms rested on the edge of the balcony, the entire side of his body made contact with mine. The heat radiating from him was soothing.

“It is beautiful here,” he said, looking at me, not the view. “Why is this trip so hard for you?”

I sighed, “I guess it’s not. I’m just being dramatic. I knew Liz way before she was famous. She and I had always talked about coming to Italy, about hiking and living close to nature. And this- this trip just shows how we have changed, thats all,” I said giving up. “And I hate all of her new friends.”

Sebastian laughed, “Well I’m gland that I’m Joe’s friend then.” I turned my head to look at him and he winked. Then he straightened up and pulled me into him, “is this okay?” He asked into my ear. I nodded silently, my stomach churning. “Well I think all her friends are jealous of you,” he continued to whisper in my ear, “know why?” I shook my head smiling a little as his words tickled my ear, “because they all want the natural grace and beauty that you have.”

I moved to face him, his large muscled body trapping me against the balcony rail. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers tangling in his hair. He lowered his mouth to my neck as he pulled me closer to him. “Do you promise to come save me today if all those women don’t leave me alone?” He asked into my neck.

I squirmed at the sensation of his breath on me. “Of course Boo,” I said, patting his bottom in a playfully condescending voice.

He raised an eyebrow, “I think I like being your Boo,” he said moving from my neck to my lips, biting my lower lip playfully.

“Yea?” I replied.

“Mmmh,” was all he said.

“Then as my Boo would you please explain to me what the hell ‘cocktail casual’ means?”

…

After a bit of debate, Sebastian had convinced me that my choice of attire was perfect and he just so happened to have a shirt that matched my outfit, so we arrived in the lobby in plenty of time to meet the rest of the group. Unsurprisingly, I did stand out, most of the women wearing very short dresses and tottering on stilettos, however, when I considered that the alternative was having to wear a short skirt and heels all day, I decided I was happy with my ensemble.

We were ushered into a small bus that would drive us out into the countryside. The inside was nice, but Italians have a very different sense of space than Americans, as demonstrated by the very small seats. Because I had dressed for comfort, I was better able to maneuver my way to the back seat, so I found myself wedged into the very back corner of the van seated next to one of the men in the party who was a talent manager or something and wouldn’t shut up about all the famous people he worked with.

On top of that Sebastian was two rows in front of me, surrounded by needy looking women who were sitting too close to him and thrusting their scantily covered chests towards him.

Finally the bus stopped at a sprawling villa on the side of a mountain. I was antsy to get out both because of the view and because I was quite nauseous after all of the switchbacks we took to get up here.

The day was average, there were some speeches, a few games, lunch, and then drinks. During all of this I had noticed several footpaths that led into the surrounding countryside. As the group broke up into social clusters I slipped away, making a b-line towards a path that I was hoping would take me along the crest of the mountain to reveal more lovely views.

“Wait Michelle!” A voice called from behind me. I turned to see Sebastian scampering behind me, his jacket discarded and a few buttons undone on his shirt. Catching up to me he stopped, “may I join you?”

We followed the overgrown trail for several minutes, finally the brush gave way to a beautiful bald overlooking a valley that reflected gold and red in the low afternoon sun. I turned to Sebastian and found him looking at me. “What?” I asked.

“I want to kiss you,” he said simply. So I closed the gap between us and my lips met his hungrily. We pressed against each other desperately like we couldn’t get close enough to each other. Our breathing grew heavy and I got the sense that we were both wearing too many clothes, so with all my strength I pulled away from him. He let out a little whine and showed me his puppy dog eyes.

“I think we need to cool off a bit,” I said shakily. “If I take this thing off now then it’s not going back on,” I said gesturing to my romper. Sebastian nodded in defeat and took my hand as we walked back to the group.

…

As the afternoon turned to evening other guests of the the bride and groom arrived and the sweetness of the afternoon faded as my world went on repeat. I watched one woman after another try her luck with the dashing Sebastian Stan while I kept to myself, drinking alone. I wasn’t upset at Sebastian, I wasn’t really sure what to do with our short dalliance, was it just born out of convenience? Is it just something to pass the time on this miserable trip? No, what bothered me was watching the entitlement in the way these women acted. They knew they were beautiful or young or well connected and so they approached with confidence, but had very little to contribute to the conversation, literally “what you see is what you get.”

“Ah,” came a voice from over my shoulder, “you are the friend from Louisiana right? The one who Lizzy grew up with?” I turned to see a nice looking young man in a dark suit standing behind me.

“Who’s asking?” I said.

“Hi, I’m Dan, I’m a friend of Lizzy from LA.” He held out his hand, I took it, and in stepping closer I also noticed the alcohol on his breath and the slight waver in his voice. It had been a while since he was sober.

“Nice to meet you, Dan,” I said. He leaned into me slightly, as if he couldn’t keep his feet under him.

“Hey, do you wanna dance? Lizzy said you are a good da-dancer?” He said, hiccuping.

“Maybe in a bit, big guy,” I said, motioning to a waiter for a bottle of water.

“No, you look like you are here for- for a good time. Lets take this back to- back to my place.” He was too drunk to be intimidating but he was quite tall and I found it difficult to shift his weight away from me. Indeed he was very close to toppling over and taking me with him when suddenly his weight was no longer draped over me. Getting my bearings I looked behind me to see Sebastian helping, if a little roughly, to get Dan into a chair.

I didn’t think much of it, but I was surprised Sebastian had gotten to me so quickly. When some other guys came over to take care of the very sloppy and probably soon to be puking Dan, I turned my attention to Seb. He had moved to stand next to me and wound his arm around my waist protectively. “Thanks for the assist,” I said lightly. To my surprise, Sebastian didn’t think it was funny.

“Why don’t those kind of guys ever know when to stop?” He growled, his hand still firmly at my waist.

I turned to face him. “Hey, I appreciate the Feminist outrage, but I was okay, I didn’t feel intimidated by him like the guys in the bar yesterday.” I put a hand on his chest, waiting for him to slow his breathing. Finally he looked down at me.

“I think I was just jealous of your attention,” he said sheepishly.

“Well why the hell didn’t you come over here sooner, I’ve had to watch women fawn over you all evening,” I said with a little pout.

“But I thought you were gonna come save me.”

“I don’t compete with other women!” I said in a whispered yell, turning my back to him. I avoided him, embarrassed and feeling a little too tender after such a long day. Gently he twisted me back to face him. I didn’t resist, I did want to be with him here, but I couldn’t look him in the eye. Carefully, and slowly he tilted my head up till I held his gaze, then he brushed his lips against mine, holding them there just long enough for chills to run down my body and my breathing to quicken before pulling away. I moaned in frustration.

“You aren’t competing with anyone.” With that taste of drama that actors tend to have naturally, he pulled me into the light, closer to the music, and we danced. It was sensuous and romantic. We stayed close together, his nose buried in the side of my neck, my head laying on his chest as we moved in a slow circle. His hands would stray low sometimes, but I would pull them back up so they rested on my hips, and he would chuckle each time.

As the event wrapped up, we walked back to the vehicles together. And as if we had passed some invisible test, everyone left us alone, letting us sit together and talking around us.

Back at the hotel I paused to chat with Liz while Sebastian helped Joe out with something for the ceremony the next day. “OMG, I knew you two would be good together!” Liz gushed.

“Wait, did you do the room thing on purpose?” I asked.

She looked up at the ceiling, “I will not reveal my tricks, but just know that if you two are still together in a year I am so claiming that I set you up.” I rolled my eyes.

I made my way back to our room but was stopped by one of the pretty blonde women in the wedding party. “You are Lizzie’s friend from back home right?” She asked in a valley girl accent I thought had to be a joke. Thinking she had some scheme about the wedding tomorrow, I told her that, yes, I was her childhood friend. “Then what the hell do you think you are doing flirting with someone like Sebastian Stan?” She demanded, serious outrage in her face. I was startled, not expecting this little outburst.

I looked her over again, her makeup was looking a little fuzzy and I could smell vodka on her breath as she teetered on stilettos and pulled her dress down each time it slipped a little too high up her thighs. Before I could respond she continued, “I mean, look at you. You are at least a size ten, no make up, you are wearing flats for Christ sakes.” She gasped like it was the end of the world. “You have no idea the women who are interested in him. Models, actresses, I heard one of the Kardashians even made a pass at him. This is the big leagues little girl. You need to stay in your lane.” In parting she gave me a little push that I thought was more likely to have her on the floor than me.

I laughed uncomfortably as I made it back to the room. Sebastian was there, sprawled on the bed, his torso bare, a pair of navy joggers seated low on his waist. He looked like a snack. And all of a sudden I could only hear the words of that woman. I must have stood there too long cause Seb spoke up. “What did Liz do? Did she change something at the last minute? You look really distracted.”

“Oh,” I said, “Nothing, she didn’t change anything.” I turned away from him and reached behind my back to undo the top of my romper. Sebastian’s hands grasped mine and put them to my sides as he undid the ties, his fingers lingering on my skin. “Sebastian is this just for tonight?” I asked, biting my lip after the words left my mouth.

“Uh, I guess it can be, why?” He replied, his tone measured. I continued to stand with my back to him, needing the space to say this.

“I- I just don’t know how this would work with you being so mobile. I don’t want you to feel like this has to go beyond this trip.” I cut myself off, feeling like I was whining.

“Actually, I am kinda interested in making this work for a longer time. Where are you from? Louisiana? The long distance thing might be a challenge but I’d like to give it a go.” I gulped loudly, my arms and legs felt weak.

“Are- are you sure?” I pressed, feeling like I was in a dream.

“Have I overstepped?” He responded with a concerned look on his face. I shook my head fiercely.

“No, but why me? All those women who are prettier than me, they get the world you come from, you have so many options.”

I had moved away from him now, feeling exposed as I spoke, but he closed the gap between us. Pulling me into him, he gripped me tightly, protectively.

“I don’t want anyone else. You are intelligent, confident, beautiful. No one else has those things.”

I sank into him and felt a sob escape from my lips. A hand grasped the back of my head and pulled me in tight to his chest. I shook a bit with a few more sobs but he was there with me. When I had calmed down I reached up and kissed him on the jaw.

Stepping away from me, he pulled a shirt on and I made a disappointed noise. Laughing he said, “Why don’t you change into something more comfortable, and we can go to the bar and make people jealous.” Rolling my eyes, I smiled.

…

As we approached the bar Sebastian grasped my hand and intertwined our fingers. There was a small group from the wedding party that was gathered at one end of the bar. One of the guys called us over so we joined them, greeting everyone in the group. There was one available seat so I took it, Sebastian stood behind me and his hands lingered on my waist and hips. They were meeting to discuss a few last minute requests of the bride and groom, so I listened as attentively as I could with Sebastian’s warm breath tickling the back of my neck. The skinny woman who had trapped me in the hall earlier was staring daggers into us, but I just looked past her to the conversation happening.

After a few more minutes the conversation broke up. I noticed a few men pat Seb on the back as they left, our friend the skinny woman tottered off in a huff. I felt Sebastian shake a little as he chuckled. “That was more fun than I was expecting,” he said.

“Yea whatever, can we pleas go back to the room? It’s time for you to take your shirt off again.”

…

When we got to the room we both stripped to our underwear. We tumbled into the bed together, the playfulness of moments before leaving us quickly as we both let the exhaustion of the day settle in. Instead, we nestled into each other comfortable just to be with one another. I was laying on my back, Seb’s head resting on my chest. He clung to me, arms and legs wrapped tightly around me and thats when I realized we might actually have as shot.

…

It had been a month since the wedding. I sat nervously in the airport gripping my phone and my eyes glued to the arrivals screen above me. Finally I saw the word “arrived” appear in green next to his flight and soon after my phone pinged and it was a text from him saying he was on his way to baggage claim.

And then there he was.

In a tight t-shirt and joggers, his long legs brought him to me in a few quick strides. I brought him in close to me and squeezed him tight. “It’s been too long,” he said.

#sebastian sebastian stan sebastianstan fanfic imagine bucky

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outerbankspreferences · 4 years

Text

The Roommate - Austin North

Chapter Three - The Party

Word Count: 2213

MASTERLIST SERIES MASTERLIST

The party at Chase and Madelyn’s apartment was all anyone could talk about. Everyone had been working hard lately it was nice to blow off some steam. They were all sitting around Rudy’s trailer talking about filming and who was all going. “Did Oliva say she was going to come babe?” Rudy asked his girlfriend who was talking to Madison. “Uh yeah, she said she would try and make it. I think she might have to work in the morning though.” She spoke up a little to be heard over everyone.

“Is that the person you want to live with Austin and Drew?” Madison questioned. “Yeah, she’s my old college roommate, you guys are going to love her.” Elaine promised, sending her friend a text to remind her about the party.

Oliva was in line getting a coffee when she got the text message. Don’t forget about the party tonight. You promised. Elaine was a force to be reckon with, and she knew better then to forget another date with her. Oliva didn’t really want to go, but she also desperately needed roommates, so she needed to impress. Once she got her coffee, she headed back to her office.

They’ve been working on a difficult case that hit close to home for her. She got back to her office, listening to her voicemail, and checking her email. It took her almost an hour for the fact that she never worked in her office. She was more of a remote worker, and by that she worked from her car. It was her job to get information on people that the lawyers needed for witnesses or other things. Working for a defence lawyer had its perks, better pay, more opportunities, but she didn’t always agree with the cases she had to work.

She was pulled from her thought when her boss Max, came through the door not bothering to knock. “Wow Bennet, you’re actually in your office for once.” He spoke leaning against the door frame. “What can I say, I work better in an open space.” Oliva retorted, taking a sip from her coffee. “Have you given any thought to my offer about LA. I really need someone I can trust out there.” She knew what he meant; she knew Max back in law school. He was a good-looking man but didn’t have the personality to match. Max was selfish, he always had been. “I was still thinking about it. It’s expensive, and I’m going to need a roommate.” She spoke, trying to gain more time to think about it. “I want an answer by Monday or I’m giving the job to Wendy in finance.” That was a bold move, Oliva figured he was bluffing she was the best paralegal they had. Even with unorthodox approach at things. Wendy would just mess things up even in a smaller firm, she didn’t have the experience needed.

Her phone started to ring as Max was leaving. She looked to see a picture of Elaine pop up on her screen. “Good lord Elaine, I’m not going to forget about tonight.” She thought. She accepted the phone call. “Hello Elaine” She spoke blandly into the phone. “Oh, don’t sound so disappointed to hear from me. Did you get my text? You didn’t forget, did you?” She asked laughing on the other end. “No, I didn’t forget, I’m just at work right now. What time did you want me to come over?” She asked, trying to figure how much time she needed to get ready. “It’s actually not at my place, it’s at my friends. I’ll text you the address, show up for like seven, does that work?” She said as more of statement then a question.

“Yeah, it does, how should I dress? Do I need to look nice for this?” Oliva asked, not really looking forward to getting dressed up too much.

“Uh, no just causal, don’t forget the jello shots, for me of course.” She laughed thinking of the many times Elaine got out of control from drinking one to many jello shooters. “Yeah, I’ll bring them don’t worry.” Oliva reassured her. “Oh, I almost forgot, Austin and Drew will be there so you can finally meet them! It’ll work out perfect.” Elaine spoke, and Oliva could hear someone yelling her name in the background. “They need me, but I’ll see you tonight!” Elaine spoke hanging up on her. Oliva sighed wondering what the hell she got herself into.

“Who was that?” Rudy asked his girlfriend pulling her into a tight hug. “Oliva, just making sure she was still coming tonight.” Rudy knew how much this meant to her. Elaine talked about her all the time. What he didn’t like was how many times Oliva had blown her off. He figured she wasn’t going to show tonight, but didn’t want Elaine to get upset, “don’t get to upset if she doesn’t show up babe. She’s already bailed on you before.” He warned knowing how she got. Elaine knew there was truth to what he was saying, but he also didn’t know Oliva like she did. She knew that Oliva would show up because it was something important to her.

Oliva left her office around five, grabbing something to eat on the way home. She knew better then to drink on an empty stomach. Once she got back to her apartment, she started to eat the crappy Chinese food, and rummaged through her closet to find something to wear. She was trying to not overthink it, but she also wanted to impress these people. She had seen pictures of them on Elaine’s Instagram and figured a pair of ripped skinny jeans and vintage band shirt would suffice. She turned on her hair curler letting it heat up. She kept her makeup simple, adding a little bit of winged eyeliner and then loosely curled her hair. She checked the time, 6:30. When she looked up the address earlier, it was about a half hour from where she lived. She grabbed her container full of jello shots and text Elaine to inform her she was on her way.

Once Oliva got to the house, she sat out in her car debating whether to go in or not. She could leave now and make up some stupid excuse as to why she needed to leave. She could tell Elaine it was traffic, or she got rear ended, or maybe food poisoning. She knew whatever excuse she made; nothing would be worth jeopardizing their friendship. Oliva looked at her phone one more time before popping back one the jello shooters and going inside. When she got into the apartment building it looked nice, much nicer than hers. She could tell the hallways had been cleaned regularly. She got in the elevator, riding it to the third floor. She could hear music playing from one of the apartments. “Perfect” she said to herself “not hard to find.”

Oliva knocked on the door and all sudden became very nervous. She needed these people to like her if she wanted knew roommates. Giving herself a small pep talk on the inside, the door swung open to a tall man with shaggy brown hair.

“Hey, you must be Oliva!” He spoke, “I’m Chase, one of Elaine’s friends.” He extended his hand out to her. Oliva smiled grasping his hand, “yeah I am, I’m sorry for being late.” She half heartedly apologized, not really meaning it. Of course, she wasn’t going to tell him that it was because she was sitting in her car debating whether to come in or bail again. “Don’t worry about it, come on in. I can take those.” Chase went to grab the jello shots, Oliva handing them over stepping into the apartment. It was loud and faintly smelt of weed and sweat. She looked around for her friend, hoping for everyone sake she didn’t get there before Elaine.

Oliva followed Chase to the kitchen, it was small and there were already people in their mixing drinks. “Oliva this is JD, Maddie C., and Maddie B.” Chase pointed to each person as they gave the foreign girl a small wave. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys, I’ll apologize now if I forgot your names.” The two moved on to the living room that she could see through the kitchen. It was a moderate size, big enough that a fair amount of people could fit in and not be crowded. It led to a small balcony that she could see some people out smoking. Oliva jumped a little from Elaine coming up and hugging her from behind. “You made it, I told you guys she would come.” She squeaked and Oliva giggled, smelling the vodka from her drink.

“Of course, I made it, I told you I would be here.” Oliva responded turning around to hug her friend properly. Elaine was wearing a blouse and a pair of jeans, with her camera around her neck. She couldn’t go far without the camera; it was one of the things Oliva loved about her. “Well, you’ve bailed the last couple of time, so who knows with you. Did you bring the jello shots?” Elaine asked dragging her to the kitchen. “I did, I think Chase put them in the fridge.” Oliva spoke, following the only person she knew. JD, Maddie C. and Maddie B. were gone someone knew was there. “Oh, this is perfect,” Elaine spoke causing the man to look at her, “Oliva this is Drew, Drew this is Oliva the girl I was telling you about.” He smiled at her, extending his hand. “Hey, nice to meet you, Elaine was telling us that you’re moving to LA in a couple of months.” “Yeah, I got a new job out there.” Oliva explained not giving anymore information.

Drew took a moment to take her in, trying to get a read on her. He was still a bit apprehensive about living with a girl. She seemed nice, quiet but nice. Before he could question Oliva, any more Elaine came up to drag her away, “come on, I want to introduce you to everyone else.” She slurred already a bit tipsy.

Elaine dragged Oliva back into the living room. The only other person she recognized was Rudy from pictures, and he didn’t seem overly happy to see her there. Everyone was sitting around drinking and playing a card against humanity. Elaine went right through the living room to the balcony where some other people were out smoking. “Hey guys, this is Oliva.” Elaine introduced her friend while searching for a lighter.

When she turned around, Oliva came face to face with a very handsome blonde. ‘What the hell is with all the blondes?’ she thought to herself. The man stuck his hand out, “I’m Austin.” He smiled at her. “I heard you were going to be our roommate, have you met Drew yet?” He asked, handing Elaine the lighter in his hand. She thanked him, “Oh yeah I did meet him, but I never mention anything about being roommates, I wasn’t sure if Elaine had brought it up or not.” Oliva responded. “You weren’t supposed to bring it up Austin.” Elaine giggled. She warned Drew and Austin not to bombard Oliva because it would just scare her off. “oh shit, yeah she did tell us that.” He spoke half scared of the brunette in front of him. Oliva could tell he was nervous “it’s okay, maybe the three of us can meet up for coffee and work all the details out.” She smiled at him.

The night went on well after that. Considering it was just a small apartment Oliva didn’t run into ether of the boys again. She was in the kitchen filling up her last drink of the night when Rudy came in. “Surprised you showed up Oliva.” He spoke causing her to jump. She turned to look at the blonde who walked in. “Elaine wanted me here, so I came.” She responded. “She’s been trying to get together with you for weeks now. She stuck her neck out for you to help you find a place to live and you couldn’t even bother to show up.” He wasn’t wrong. Elaine had done a lot to help her, but she also had to work. “I know, but I can’t help it if I have to work, not all of us can be actors.” She spoke up, not wanting to have this conversation.

Oliva didn’t know Rudy that well, and in his defense, they did get off on the wrong foot, but if he thought for one minute, he was going to grill her about not showing up he had another thing coming. Before Rudy had a chance to speak again Oliva had dumped her drink down the drain and headed for the door. Just as she was about to walk out the door Elaine stopped her. “Are you leaving already ‘Liv? It’s not even that late.” When Oliva turned around, she could see the see a bit of hurt in Elaine’s eyes, but when she spoke, she looked directly at Rudy. “Yeah, I have to work in the morning, say my goodbyes for me?” She asked forcing a smile at her friend.

TAG LIST: @drewstarkeysbitchh afterglowsb-tch13 lostsoulwalking @lemur46 @taylathornton

#austin north #austin north imagine #austin north x reader #austin north x you #austin north x oliva bennet #theRoommate #Outer Banks #outerbanks

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manychocolatefactories · 4 years

Text

CatCF Dark Chocolate: Part 1, the Kids

About this version:

This retelling was mostly inspired by the original book, as well as Dahl's first drafts for it. I wanted a more old-fashioned feeling to it: in this setting television is still only present in rich and upper-class houses, the regular people using newspaper and radios to get information. Imagine a mix of 40s and 50s with some touches of 60s thrown in.

You have here 8 Golden Tickets.

First winner: Augustus Pottle

(Based on Augustus Gloop )

Augustus Pottle is an enormously fat boy, with a head like a ball of dough and a body like a blimp. He bears an uncanny ressemblance to a pig: he has a pink and greasy skin, numerous folds of flesh and chins bulging out of his neck, small greedy eyes, and an upturned and always sniffing nose looking like a snout. All the outfits he wears are always much too tight for him or about to pop (and it doesn't help that he literaly gains weight the minute he eats something). He has two outfits during the story (inspired by the two outfits Quentin Blake drew for him): during his interview he wears a green jacket, brown pants and a turquoise shirt ; and during the tour he wears beige pants, a blue jacket and a white shirt with pink spots. Of course he can never wear his jackets and his shirts are always about to rip.

Eating is not just Augustus hobby and obsession - it is also his career. Augustus is considered a "champion" because he kept winning eating contests: the biggest eater, the fastest eater, the fattest eater... It all comes down to his mother, a thick lady wearing a lot of shiny but ugly jewelery. Mrs. Gloop always tried to find fame and attention, but when her attempts to find it at radio failed, she reported all her dreams on his son: he had inherited from his tall and bearded father a large and stout body. People were amazed at how big and gluttonous the boy was, and Mrs. Gloop thought it was an excellent way to get attention and fame. So she bred him to become the fattest and most gluttonous boy alive, so that everyone would look at him (and at her). It goes so far that Augustus is used to sleep in the dining room - being so full after meals he can't even pass the door to get up to his bedroom.

The excess of greasy and sugary food made his brain fat too, clogging it with blubber, and resulting in him being quite simple-minded. He only now has two thoughts in his brain. The first is "eat, eat, eat", he is a true glutton obsessed with eating and devouring. The second is "I'm a champion, I'm the best, I need to beat everyone else", he sees others as rivals and life as a contest, and his own fatness and gluttony is for him a sign of dominance over other people.

Second winner: Elvira Salt

(Based on Veruca Salt)

I wanted here to get away from the angry, screaming, demanding Veruca Salt, so I create this character.

Just like Veruca, Elvira is a spoiled and filfthy rich girl who thinks she can get everything she wants with money or by asking. But she is not an angry, screaming, bratty child. She rather believes it is natural and normal for her to have everything, or for money to solve every problem. She seems detached from the world. She doesn't think or believe one would say "No" to her, and basically considers the entire world to be a shop with people at her service, or a field from which she can pick flowers without a care.

She looks like a glamorous movie star of old, like Marilyn Monroe, always wearing elegant silk dresses and gloves and wearing fur coats (with furs of lovely and cute animals like guinea pigs, mink, chinchilla or rabbits). In fact, Elvira enjoys only things that are cute, pleasant or elegant. For example give her the biggest pearl in the world - if said pearl is actually ugly she will throw it out without a care. She is a girl that bathes in milk and honey, that has for a snack expensive truffes, foie gras, chocolate and champaign, that doesn't walk but get carried around, and that considers it normal for a young girl to receive as gifts emeralds, rubies, diamonds and other precious jewels. To put it shortly, she lives an extravagant and excentric life. Always smiling, always happy, always content, she basically lives in a world of luxury where misery, poverty or lack of money does not exist, and as a result actually forgets that other people around hers have needs and desires too. She thinks she is the princess of some sort of fairytales, and the others are just background characters here to serve her story.

For the tour, she wears a candy-pink velvet dress and a "fur" made of clubbed baby seals. As her father... well fun fact, Elvira sepnds so much money her father actually looks like a beggar or a homeless man, because he has no money left for himself - but a beggar with plump and thick wallets in his pockets.

Third winner: Violet Beauregard

(Based on Violet Beauregarde)

The Beauregard parents (who look so similar to each other it is difficult to say who is the father and who is the mother) are competition freaks. They are obsessed with their children being the best, breaking records, being a champion, earning trophies.

However, for their misery, they got Violet. Violet isn't good at sports, neither at school. She doesn't have any talent for anything. She doesn't have any interest or dreams. She is a plain, dull girl wearing plain and dull clothes, with dim eyes and a big mop of hair of an undetermined color. The only thing that stands out is her great, thick, muscular jaw - because her parents, desperate that they were, found a way for her to be a champion. Chewing gum. She spends her time chewing gum, so that would be her talent, isn't it? Her parents worked hard to make chewing a sportive and intellectual talent, making her break unexisting records of gum-chewing, organizing uninteresting chewing contests... They now think that their little girl deserves to be with Olympic champions just for chewing-gum, forgetting how useless and stupid this is.

They also extended her "abilities" to chewing other kind of foods and candies, including chewing chocolate bars: and here she found the Golden Ticket, which was a dream come true for the Beauregard parents, a perfect mediatic exposure! Fun fact: Violet chewed a bit of her Golden Ticket.

Fourth winner(s): Wilbur Rice and Tommy Troutbeck

(Based on Wilbur Rice and Tommy Troutbeck)

I wanted to reuse the characters from the deleted "Fudge Mountain" chapter of the book. A lot of this characterization is my own invention: I based myself on the few personnality clues found in the chapter, and for their appearance I used Quentin Blake's illustrations.

Tommy and Wilbur are best friends in the world. They are neighbors, they go to school together, they always share everything (even though they may fight for it first) - this is why when they discovered the fourth Golden Ticket they shared it. However their friendship is filled with a strange sort of disdain, and they really bond over their main hobby: pranking people. They like to do pranks and jokes and to have a good laugh. Unfortunately for everyone else, they are devilish little brats and cruel children, whose definition of a good laugh involves making believe someone's house was robbed, putting someone's dress on fire or pretending their little brother is dead. The worst is hurts or distress people, the better it will be for them. Causing black outs, using dangerous chemical products, hurting their own parents, it is all just a good fun.

The Rice family are the definition of bourgeois and nouveau riche, small shop owners who became extremely wealthy thanks to their trade. As a result they are boasting their money and spending a lot of it: their small house became bloated with numerous architectural additions that don't fit with each other, and they collect cars, having so much they can't even drive them all. Mr. Rice is a tall and very thin man always dressed in expensive but ugly suits and with a thick mustache looking like a caterpillar, while Wilbur is a small dark-haired boy with a round face and a round belly, chubby and flabby. Wilbur is an arrogant, haughty, snobbish boy that is friend with Tommy only because he thinks of him as a sort of "pet" - he is so arrogant that he also disdains his own parents, but Mr. Rice merely thinks Wilbur is being a "good lad", an "energetic boy" or a "little man" and is quite proud of this unruliness.

The Troutbeck family is the opposite of the Rice. They used to be nobility, living in a great manor, but they fell on hard times. Their nobility title not worth anything, money flying by, their family fell into poverty. They still live in their manor, but it is now run-down, dirty and unkept. Mrs. Troutbeck is an obese woman always wearing faded pajamas or worn-out jumpsuits and a thick layer of makeup, and Tommy is a tall and thin boy, skinny, with an angular face covered in moles, beauty marks and freckles. He has spiky strawberry blond hair and always wears tattered ans stained clothes. The Rice parents are hoarding misers, skinflints who refuse to spend and disdain the "show-off" Rice (the same way the Rice disdain the poor and "low" Troutbeck), in fact they only had a kid so he could later work and make money for them, and they encourage him to steal rather than buy things. Tommy is also a rude, violent boy, known to punch and insult all those that displease him - something he inherited from his parents, that also raised him with insults and slaps on the head (no wonder he doesn't have any respect for them).

The two kids have another element cementing their friendship: their love for candies. Wilbur spends his time buying candies to stuff his belly, and Tommy keeps stealing candies from other children, messily devouring them. And it is during one of their sugary feasts that they found the Golden Ticket.

For the tour, Wilbur is wearing a light blue jacket with a red bow tie, and Tommy a navy-blue turtleneck.

Fifth winner:Michael Themmen-Vry

(Based on Mike Teavee)

This name was a suggestion of ArtMakerProductions, who said I could invent a name whihc would have "T-V" initials. So I created Themmen-Vry, a name based on the names of the two actors who played Mike Teavee.

The Themmen-Vry family is exceedingly rich, grossly rich. But the Themmen-Vry parents are quite pleasant people: the father friendly and affable despite looking like a pigmy hippo, and the mother being an excellent hostess despite not being very bright and quite young. However their sson... it's a different story.

Michael is the oldest of the winners, being near the end of the his teenage years and almost a man. But he stayed stuck to the mental age of a child. Michael adores television, he has several elevision sets in every room of his manor to never miss his favorite shows. And Michael always liked to play, to disguise himself as his heroes. Couple that with very wealthy and very permissive parents, and you get this brat. Michael always plays at some game when he isn't watching television. He has an impressive array of costumes and toys to play with, and when he plays, he truly plays. He forces everyone to get into his roleplay and refer to him by his fictional identities. He forces other people into playing with him - he even kidnaps children from the nearby school to play with him. And he also wants realism to go so far... well let's say he won't be afraid to use a real gun to play a hunter. His parents are so permissive, seeing this as merely "harmless childish fun", that they allowed their manor to be burned down only because Michael wanted to play a firefighter.

No need to also mention you that Michael is a self-centered and disdainful brat that is always the hero of his stories and that uses "playing" as an excuse to bully and insult other people by having them be villains, monsters or preys. Basically he is the ultimate worst RPG player you can think of.

Tall and thin, Michael has long and thick hair covering his ears and forehead like a helmet, and a face covered in acne. As for his outfits, they change all the time: one time he is dressed as a mad hunter, another time he is a monster-killing alien-king, another time he is a ninja-cowboy from the Far West, and that's when he is not a policeman-Robin Hood.

His outfit for the tour is a vividly colored cosmonaut outfit, and he is armed with a ray gun. Actually a laser gun using real, harmful lasers. He is also one of the few kids allowed to come to th tour without his parents, due to him being old enough.

Sixth winner: Marvin Prune

(Based on Marvin Prune)

In the original drafts of Roald Dahl, Marvin Prune was a conceited school-obsessed boy that embodied the "all work and no play" mentality, disdaining all childish fun and freedom and rather dedicating himself to harsh studies and strict intellect. I decided to reuse this concept for a new interpretation:

Marvin Prune and his parents (his father, a man with a face like a boiled onio, and his mother, a woman who looks a lot like a donkey) are extremely arrogant and conceited so-called intellectuals. Marvin Prune thinks of himself as superior to everyone else and more intelligent than others because he read a lot of books, learned a lot of things and is an excellent school student. As a result, he thinks that he has all the rights to disdain others, insult them, treat them as complete idiots. But the thing is that Marvin actually has a very poor knowledge of the world and his "intellect" is up to discussion. He has numerous facts wrong - for exemple he thinks sugar comes naturally as a white powder and can't exist under any other forms, or he believes all the ancient Greek artworks were entirely white and that Greeks never used colors. If he gets so many of his facts wrong, it is because he believes simply learning about something is enough to be an expert - for exemple he claims to know all about foreign countries because he read about them in books, but he actually never visited them or met people from said countries.

This arrogance and this quest for "intellectuality" leads the Prunes to worship all that is "antique" "ancient" or "proper" - which results in them only collecting ancient furnitures, putting dust and cobwebs in their house to make it look more ancient, and Marvin wearing outdated outfits, like puff ties or jabots. He also likes to wear glasses, though he doesn't need them - he just thinks wearing glasses makes him look more intelligent. With narrow shoulders and chocolate-colored curls, the most defining trait of Marvin is his nose, which is really big, really long, really pointy and sharp, compared to a shark's fin. He always uses the royal plural "we" instead of "I" because he believes himself to be the most intelligent boy of the country or perhaps the world, and this bloated ego of him actually leads to a darker side of his personnality: he disdains all that is considered childish and worthless, up to the point of destruction. For exemple, he only reads encyclopedia, scientific books and teaching manuals. As for the rest - children book, novels, comic books... he deems them irrelevant and stupid and so wishes to burn all of them. Yep, we have a little book burner here.

Marvin only searched for a Golden Ticket because he wished to learn more about the Wonka Factory and know all of its secrets, as well as to be able to "correct" Wonka - because he is that kind of kid that considers everybody else is doing things wrong, and that he knows how to fix mistakes and improve everything. And he pretends that to find his Golden Ticket he used a lot of calculations, planning and studies, comparing the weather, selling patterns, geography, trafic levels... but in truth he actually got it by pure luck.

Seventh winner: Bertie Upside

(Based on Bertie Upside)

Bertie Upside actually surprises everyone because he isn't a brat like the other kids. He is a wealthy and rich orphan, but he is kind, healthy, gentle, generous, cute, humble, decent giving money to charity and being very respectful and wise. He sees the best in people, and during the tour he prevents the other kids from breaking the rules or bullying Charlie, deeming him a true "bore". He is basically the perfect kid, that is repeatedly said to have a "heart of gold".

For his physical appearance I based him on Quentin Blake's illustration of Charlie: tall and thin, blond with blue eyes. He always has clothes that match his hair and eyes: light blue jacket and yellow tie for his interview, and golden jacket with light blue shirt for the tour.

Eighth winner: Charlie Bucket

(Based on Charlie Bucket)

This Charlie I based on the original drafts of Roald Dahl, which depicted Charlie as black.

As usual Charlie is a small malnourished boy, all skins and bones, living with his poor family in a shabby and run-down house. His father is a newspaper deliveryman, which is how the Bucket family has a newspaper every morning, and his mother works at a toothpaste factory (like in the 2005 movie). Their job doesn't bring much money, but it is enough to survive. As for the Grandparents you have Grandpa Georges (got his leg cut off after the war, and is always criticizing, insulting and being revolted by the other Golden Ticket winners), Grandma Georgina (can't walk due to the family being too poor to have her hip and knee fixed, she quells and calms her husband's wrath and fury), Grandma Josephine (has a weak heart and can't do a lot of physical activities, but has a wild an insane past, resulting in her often telling stories not suited for kids) and Grandpa Joe (bad arthritis, usually tempers or censors his wife's stories).

Charlie tries to help his family: he makes a bit of money by collecting glass bottles and metallic scraps. As for the food the Bucket family survives with, I wanted to include elements of the "soul food": as a result the daily diet of the Buckets is black-eyed peas, turnips and sweet potatoes. When they have enough money they buy a pork feet or a chicken liver to add meat to their diet, but it is quite rare. Charlie is a little angel of a kid, ever complaining, working hard at school and always sharing what he has with his family.

#charlie and the chocolate factory #catcf #retelling #dark chocolate #augustus gloop #charlie bucket #violet beauregarde #veruca salt #mike teavee #wilbur rice #tommy troutbeck #marvin prune #bertie upside

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blackenedwhite97 · 4 years

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Birthday Gifts-Reader x Aizawa [BNHA] {NSFW}

Request:

“Idk if your requests are open or anything but can I get a (really detailed lmao) Aizawa oneshot? It's the reader's birthday and to celebrate it they go out with their friends (Aizawa, Mic, Midnight, those peeps) and they get drunk with Aizawa? Then Aizawa takes them to his house and they have a heated, drunken makeout session and end up doing it? And they wake up sober and all and they just look at eachother like 👀 Please and thank you (you can just delete this if you don't wanna write it lol)”

This post includes: , sexual content (so many), cursing, alcohol use and unprotected sex.

As usual I overwrote! Use the “keep reading” page breaks as your guide, the smut and fun times will be nested in between breaks for easy access to anyone who just wants a one way ticket, no lay overs, to horn town.

Author’s note: Requests are super cool and fuel me when I’m brain dead. If you want something sexy/ steamy please keep the character request over 18+ and keep it (fantasies/ role play aside) groovy and consensual.

Okay, birthday sex now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You could hear Midnight’s heals echoing down through the halls of your apartment, the thin walls couldn’t defend against her unstoppable strut. You looked yourself over in the full-length mirror you’d hung next to the coat rack, smoothing out your mesh shirt. You had tried your best to dress up, you had even rooted through your closet until you had found your good jeans. If you were honest with yourself, you were a full-time teacher and a full-time pro-hero, most social events usually demanded your hero costume, or your agency provided appropriate formal wear.

In recent years your wardrobe had thinned out considerably, any and all clubbing clothes were long gone or buried under the pile of ruined costume pieces you refused to clean out from your closet. The black mesh shirt you were wearing was borrowed, embarrassingly enough, from your niece who also had to supply the black tank top under it. You had never felt so desperate for clothes than when your niece had to start lending you clothes for your own birthday party. The one silver lining was seeing the scandalized look on your brother’s face when he saw what you had grabbed from her closet.

The front door swung open, Midnight’s spare key dangling in the lock.

“You know you can knock if I’m home.” You took stock of the mass of bags hanging from her arms.

She paused and looked you up and down. “A for effort but I have something for you to wear.”

You looked down at yourself then back at her. You had thought the mesh shirt was bordering on scandalous but compared to Midnight’s shimmering cut out dress you definitely looked like your sixteen-year-old niece had dressed you.

“But,” You gestured to your torso dramatically. “I did the mesh thing! That’s not hot?”

Midnight laughed and dropped one arm of bags unceremoniously on the ground. She scurried around you towards the kitchen pulling out a very luxurious looking bottle of champagne. “It’s your birthday and you aren’t showing leg.”

Since becoming friends with Midnight you had found yourself being spoiled left and right by her. She enjoyed the finer things in life, fine clothes, good drink and gourmet food. She also enjoyed good company, which she reminded you daily that you fit that bill. It was nice, when it wasn’t overwhelming.

“Pink bag.” She said and pointed to the pile of bags on the floor. “I’m getting you laid tonight.”

Your mind tried to picture the dress and all you could come up with was different iterations of Midnight’s hero costume. While you adored Midnight and her style and confidence, it wasn’t quite you. Aside from that the bag was embellished with the logo of a local high-end boutique. Expensive. “How much-”

“It’s a birthday present.” She cut you off.

“Midnight I can’t take-” you tried again.

“Don’t refuse a gift,” the bottle of the champagne rocketed up and dented your low ceiling. “it’s rude.”

You pointed to the ceiling. “That’s rude.”

“Just go put it on!” she waved you off as she began a fruitless search for champagne flutes that you surely didn’t own.

You scoped up the bag and looked at your jean clad legs longingly, you could do so much in jeans and so little in a dress (without revealing yourself). You peaked inside, a neatly folded mound of matt black fabric peeking through the decorative tissue paper. At least it’s not shiny.

As you headed to your room Midnight called after you. “The boys are coming here and we’re all splitting the cab there!”

Your heart jumped in your chest. The boys. Plural. Did that include- no he hates clubs. If he is coming over then that meant that he’d see you in whatever Midnight had selected for you. You grinned to yourself as you stared at the bag on your bed. Sneaky. No wonder she seemed so proud of herself. Although you certainly tried to keep it a secret, Midnight read you like an open book. She noticed how you trailed after him, stared at doors he’d left through.

You lifted the dress from the bag and left it unfold in your hands. It was simple, fitted and clean. You sighed in relief. A small bundle of lace fell out of the bundle to the ground and you looked down red faced to find a black thong on the floor.

“Put everything on!” You could hear the shit eating grin plastered on Midnight’s face.

You huffed and slid off your jeans, staring at the lacey panties with hesitation. Dressed fly up all the time, and you were somewhat of a public figure. But it would be hot to reach up your dress to find those.

Shit.

You swapped your underwear and slid the dress on. You very quickly realized that you’d have to go braless, the plunging neckline wouldn’t allow it. You had to admit, Midnight knew how to dress just about anyone. When she didn’t get overzealous that is. A memory of the sequinned ball gown she tried to convince you to buy last Christmas for Mt. Lady’s party flashed through your mind. You peaked into the bag, the shoes she’d thrown in were a pair of her own and were far too tall and had far too much ankle snapping capabilities for you. Luckily you had swiped a pair of heels from your agency’s closet, you were the only one with the right size of feet to wear them anyways. They were semi ornate burgundy heels that were tall enough to give you those sculpted calves but not so tall as to lend themselves to causing you serious bodily harm should you take a tumble.

You looked yourself over in the mirror and liked what you saw, a new confidence washed over you.

“I look hot as hell.” You declared under your breath.You opened your door, ready to show off Midnight’s hard work.

All confidence drained out of you for a split second when you made eye contact with the Aizawa as he leaned on your counter, a wine glass filled with champagne.

“Uh, H-Hi!” you squeaked. Aizawa looked lost for a moment, probably trying to zone out the energetic conversation Mic and Midnight seemed to be having on the opposite side of the kitchen island from him. He straightened up at the sight of you and you could have sworn a light pink blush attempted to break through across his cheeks. You liked to hope it was you he was blushing at but told yourself he could be a blusher when he drank.

“Hi.” He rubbed his neck awkwardly. “You look…like the birthday girl.”

He blinked long and hard. That sentence was as awkward for him as it was for you. Midnight jumped towards you, arms outstretched and demanded a spin.

“Let me see my work.” She spun you around and leaned in close so no one could hear. “Is it all on?”

You grinned despite yourself. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” Her hand patted your ass and she stepped away.

“You don’t have any champagne flutes!” She said, declaring a change in topic.

“I don’t drink champagne, why do I need champagne flutes?” You defended yourself and she slid a bubbly filled wine glass towards you, but also suspiciously close to where Aizawa was leaning. You took the glass and settled for a more comfortable distance from him, not that you didn’t crave getting as close as possible but you thought you should at least wait until you could blame any embarrassing advances on the alcohol.

“Yeah,” Midnight gestures at herself. “but I do!”

“They’re just skinny wine glasses, though.” Aizawa chimed in, his low calm voice hinting at entertained.

“Sho, my man.” Mic reached across the island and clapped a hand on Aizawa’s shoulder. “You are not a man culture.”

Aizawa turned directly to you, his deep eyes boring into yours. Again, you noticed that slight flush of color on his cheeks. “I think you wine glasses are just fine, don’t listen to these two.”

You grinned at him. “Thank-you, on behalf of me and my wine glasses.”

Midnight jumped, pulling her phone from her ample cleavage. “Cabs here!”

Aizawa began collecting wine glasses but you waved him off. “Don’t worry, I’ll get them in the morning.”

He placed his in the sink before Midnight was practically yanking you and him out the door.

“I need my wallet!” you yelped trying to grab your purse on the way out.

“No, you don’t! You aren’t paying for anything tonight!” she said wrapping a ridiculously strong arm around your shoulders.

Aizawa shot an arm out grabbing your purse off your coat rack as he was ushered out the door and handed it to you. “Uh, here.”

“Thanks.” You turned to lock the door, but Midnight was already pulling her key from the lock.

“Let’s go!” she sang as she began her unstoppable strut out of the building.

Midnight had shoved you and Aizawa in the back seat of the SUV, demanded her jacket be given its own seat in the back with you and insisted it could not get wrinkled. She was really good at this. You ended up sitting in the middle seat, having to lean into Aizawa periodically when she would remind you not to lean into her jacket. It was a very nice faux fur jacket, but you knew fur didn’t wrinkle. And you were pretty sure Aizawa knew that too.

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There was a big surprise that was ill timed but all together commendable. When you entered the bar some of the guests were still scurrying into their hiding places, you pretended for everyone’s sake to be very surprised. You even jumped and grabbed onto Aizawa for support, which the thankfully played along with by “catching” you in your shock. You were flooded with drink offers, some by hero’s you’d never even met before. Big parties with lots of booze do that, make everyone want to buy the birthday girl a drink. You gladly accepted a handful of drinks before pawning them off on All Might who had the metabolism of a God and Aizawa who soon enough was drunker than you.

Midnight and Mic were in their element, dancing and singing away. The crowd was so drawn to them that after a while you were able to retreat to a booth in the back and watch them light up the room from afar. You spun your untouched glass of god knows what, watching the melting ice swirl around the nearly fluorescent liquid.

“What’s that?” Aizawa grumbled towards your drink as he slid into the booth next to you. At some point in the night his shirt had become progressively more undone, the sleeves were rolled up and his hair fell from its elastic. He smelled of booze but beyond that a subtle wave of musk and soap washed over you.

“Dunno.” You said pushing it away and leaning into his shoulder. “Stay still, kay?”

“Room spinning?” He asked, leaning into you.

You nodded and closed your eyes taking in his smell. Something about this was so comfortable.

“I like this.” You said pulling on his shirt. “You look good in a dress shirt.”

“Thanks.” He chuckled. “You look beautiful tonight.”

You smirked. Hell yeah you did. “You should see what Midnight has me wearing underneath.”

There was a moment when all you could feel was Aizawa taking a deep breath beneath your head. “Is that an invitation?”

You opened your eyes and looked up at him. He was definitely blushing now, but there was no awkwardness in his eyes. They were intense, alight with heat and intent. You nodded against his shoulder and watched a smirk spread across his lips. A warm calloused hand found its way to your thigh and traveled upward under your dress, barely brushing the lace panties. It was barely a brush, but you felt excitement pull at your gut.

“Well, shit.” He breathed.

You swallowed your fear and decided that you were drunk enough to be able to blame it on that if this went poorly. You sat yourself up and pressed your hands to his chest, his hand stayed at its post between your legs and his eyes stayed glued to yours. You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. He melted into you, his spare hand finding your hip. He instantly began nipping at your bottom lip and running his tongue across your lips until you gave into the wet sloppy drunk kisses. Not that you minded, you too were wet, sloppy and drunk.

His hands traveled everywhere, grabbing and stroking any part of you he could. By the time his hand found your inner thigh again you had swung a leg over his lap and he had begun to leave love bites across your collarbone and neck. You reached down and palmed him between your legs and he hissed, pulling away from you and taking hold of your jaw so he could look you in the eyes. It took you a minute to focus on him, the heat running through you threatening to burn through your clothes.

“Not here.” He breathed, huffing when you stroked him through his pants again. “I’m not fucking you here.”

You pouted and slumped back, hitting the table filled with drinks at varying stages of finished. He caught you by the hips before you fell too far back and laughed, his eyes impossibly warm and soft. “My place is two blocks away.”

You slid off of him and pulled our skirt down, hiding what fraction of our pride you still could for any possible on lookers. You reached out towards him. “This is my get laid dress, so lay me.”

He paused for a second, shaking his head and chuckling. You cringed inwards, possibly the worst sentence you leave your mouth.

“I know what you mean.” Aizawa said, ducking back to grab your purse from the booth. “Here.”

You grabbed it and latched onto his arm as the two of you leaned onto each other for support, hopefully creating the appearance of two only mildly buzzed people. You were both swaying, his hand unable to detach itself from your ass and yours keeping itself warm under his shirt. The walk was quick but clumsy, your “practical” heels failing you and demanding to be taken off over a sewer grate.

The most treacherous part of your journey was perhaps the dreaded keyhole in his door handle. You thanked god he lived on the first floor, at this point stairs were not an option. As soon as the door was open you were practically thrown inside to the dark apartment, your back hitting a wall a few feet from the door. He kicked the door closed behind him and was on you before the latch closed. In one smooth movement he hoisted you up into his arms and turned to place you on a set of drawers where you hit a glass key dish. It fell to the ground with a crash and off in the dark apartment a surprised cat yelped. You let out a giggle, holding onto Aizawa’s head as you pulled away to laugh. His head fell to your chest as he finished off the buttons on his shirt, shedding it and laughed with you. “You good?”

You nodded and pulled his face back to yours. He began working on your dress, the zipper on the back gave way under his surprisingly steady hands. In one swift movement he scooped you up and slid the rest of the dress from your body and placed you back down, this time careful to mind any stray key dishes. His hand ran along the wall looking for the light switch. The entrance to the apartment lit up with a dim amber light, his hair was mussed and his cheeks red, one of your love marks already bruising nicely against the pale skin of his throat.

You realized that you were nearly completely naked save the thong. Under any other circumstance you would have been mortified and scrambling for cover but given the alcohol and the way he was looking at you right now, you let the moment exist. He leaned forward pressing his forehead to yours.

“Beautiful.” He whispered.

“Pants.” You whispered back. “Off.”

He chuckled and obliged, dropping his pants and stepping out of them.

“Okay, sex now.” He huffed as he grabbed you by the waist and carried you into the barely illuminated living room.

He dropped you on the couch unceremoniously and manhandled you into position until you were sitting on the edge of the couch, your legs draped over his shoulders and his strong hands grasping at your thigh and breast. He trailed kisses up your thigh, his fingers hooking around your panties and tugging them down your legs. His hands left your body briefly, warm air hitting your face as your thong whipped past your head and over the couch. His hands gripped your thighs tight, holding them in place on his shoulders and he ducked down and began his work.

At first it was slow, tentative, almost shy. Then he found the spot, the spot that made you shiver and clench your thighs. You felt his scruff rub against your sensitive skin as he grinned, his grip tightening, and you began to squirm. He lapped at your clit, slow then fast, nipping when your squirming seemed to slow, keeping the knot in your gut swelling with every move. You moaned and dug your hand into his wild hair, the soft curls swallowing your fingers. You held him closer, practically begging him not to stop.

The knot in your stomach swelled until your thighs shook and your breath came out in quivering waves. You wanted him to fuck you so badly that the thought of cumming now felt like treason. You pushed against his head, yet he was unyielding in his assault on your core.

“Fuck.” You breathed, trying to delay the inevitable. “Sho, fuck me already.”

He pulled back, his hand replacing his tongue. “Not until you cum first.”

“N-no, please. Fuck me.” You begged, the knot tightening impossibly.

“I’m drunk.” He huffed, his breath washing over your already hot core. “Once I cum I cannot be held responsible if I fucking pass out. Now hold still so I can give you a birthday present!”

He dove back into your core, this time renewed with an almost aggressive approach, not that you were complaining. Your hands tighten in his curls and you gave in to him, everything he was building up to until you were rocking into his mouth and mewling like a cat in heat. He slipped in two fingers, your slick greedy vagina gladly accepted them. You felt him curse against you, no doubt the warm wet feeling of you wrapped around his fingers a siren’s call straight to his dick.

He pumped in and out, his tongue never yielding until finally the knot in your stomach released and a wave euphoria and shiver racked your body, your legs and arms twitching as your body felt as if it was floating.He helped you ride your high, adding another finger and whispering a cacophony of dirty words in your ear. You gripped his shoulders as you came back to yourself, he was covered in a thin layer of sweat and his scent wafted in painfully alluring waved towards you.

He lifted your weak legs and folded them into your chest, his boxers now discarded along with your lace panties, tossed into the dark abyss of the apartment. He placed a hot kiss to your forehead, then to the tip of your nose then to your lips. There he stayed as he lined himself up with your entrance and pushed forward. He was girthy and stretched you in ways you hadn’t expected.

“Breathe.” He pulled back, looking into your eyes. You hadn’t noticed you’d been holding your breath until now and let out the breath you were keeping locked away in your chest. Your body melted into the couch, forming to fit him perfectly as you relaxed. Again, he started slow, setting a pace while he figured out what felt right. He must have found the jackpot because suddenly his pace picked up, his breath hot on your neck. You felt a familiar knot, loosely forming in your stomach, your nerves still buzzing from your previous orgasms.

Aizawa reached forward, his hands finding your breasts as he leaned down into you. You were pressed back further into the couch as he drilled into you, the sound of skin hitting skin echoing in the dark. With each thrust the knot in your stomach tugged on itself, tightening. Aizawa paused, adjusting himself at your entrance before thrusting forward, stars shooting across your vision as a hot wave rattled through you. You’re mewls grew to yelps and gasps with every thrust, his grunts starting to match your love sounds.

You could feel yourself starting to shake, the tension in your gut almost too much to take, when he began to get sloppy. Every thrust became an endeavor as he struggled to find a pace he could keep while slowly coming undone. His hands slid down to the couch, gripping the fabric like he was going to be whisked away at any moment.

“Fuck.” He cursed; his body twitching out of rhythm.

You grabbed each side of his face and looked him in the eyes, pools of deep lust consuming your vision. You pulled him close, suddenly craving his lips on yours. He mirrored your urgency and soon his pace evened out, each thrust stronger and faster than the last. You felt yourself clenching around him, your legs locked at his shoulders.

He pressed his head against yours pulling out of the kiss so he could look into your eyes as he came. He drilled into you until your yelps turned into a silent scream of pleasure as the knot in your gut burst for a second time that night. With a final, strong thrust warmth spread through you as he leaned into you, his uneven breaths washing over your skin.

He slid down to his elbows as he rode out his own orgasm, his lips brushing your collar bone as he muttered sweet nothings to you.You twitched beneath him, stars and black spots dancing in your periphery. Your legs slipped off his shoulders and found rest at his hip, the two of you sweating and panting in the sweet afterglow of sloppy drunk sex.

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The rays of sun that broke through the blinds berated your eyes, the searing white light like a smite from god with the hangover you were about the nurse. Groaning against the light you reached over to your bedside table for the bottle of water you put there before leaving for the night. Your hand stopped short at a wall of plush and springy fabric…like the back of a couch. Your eyes shot open, bright hot sunlight filling your vision. You groaned and scrambled backwards out of the light’s reach, kicking something on your way back.

“Fuck!” You knew that voice.

You blinked away the retina burns, and your stomach dropped. At your feet a very sleepy and very naked Aizawa was lying on his front, his arms folded under his head.

“Sorry!” you chirped; realizing it was him you had just kicked. “D-did we-”

Aizawa looked up at you, at first he seemed just as dazed and confused as you did but then a sly grin spread across his face. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

You looked down at yourself, realizing you too were very naked. You pulled your legs up to cover as much as you could and wrapped your arms around your chest. “Do you…remember any of-”

“Not at all.” He grumbled, sitting himself up and grabbing a pillow from the ground to cover his junk. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

You squinted into the distance, calling on fuzzy memories of fluorescent cocktails and straying hands. You could feel your cheeks heating up. “Your hand up my skirt.”

“Was that-”

“My idea? Yep.” You recalled.

“Oh.” He nodded to himself. “Good.”

You both sat in silence staring at each other. A long-haired white cat leapt up onto the couch and rubbed its body up against your shins, begging for affection.

“Did you want to shower? I have some sweats you can-”

“Yeah, thanks!” you interrupted and jumped up, painfully aware of how very vey naked you were. You dashed towards the first door you saw.

“That’s my room, Bathroom’s down the hall.” You could feel him smirking at you.

“Right!” you said as you turned and strutted down the hall.

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #reader x bnha #reader x aizawa #eraserhead #eraserhead x reader #aizawa shouta #mha #mha x reader #reader insert #reader insert mha #reader insert bnha #my hero #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #fanfic #my hero academia fanfiction

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riverleyk · 3 years

Text

RECOVERED: Lost Mafia Kids files.

Mafia kids: 12 signatures as been my passion project all the way back since high school... like... 6 or 5 years ago? Oh my god... I'm getting old. This dates back to 2018.

CHAPTER 1

My high school years will be memories that I look over with more and more horror as I get older. At the time, I wasn’t afraid and I was too naive to realize the real danger I was in. However, I will never regret what I did. I was only trying to help.

It started with my dad losing his job. My family depended on him financially, my mom never worked too much, my brother, Kevin, was too young to even work, and even if I was old enough to work at the time, I didn’t want to and I felt as though I was allowed not to. Pretty selfish, right? But the minimum wage I could have gotten wouldn’t have helped in this situation; my family used to be rich, but once my dad was fired, we lost all the money and the benefits that came along with it. I assume it’s because my father liked to show off and so we were living above our means.

We moved to the slums of the big city, it was the most dangerous place in the area, but the cheapest. We stopped buying nice things like we used to, now we lived on bare essentials. Kevin took this hard, but I tried to adapt. I went to a new school too. It was the only school in the ghetto closest to our house, but it was infamous for being filled with child delinquents. Not only that, but it was infamously known as the worst school out there, in the poorest neighborhood.

I was so foolish… I really expected to be accepted there. In my old school, I was a bit bullied but I had a large group of friends, and we all got a long great! I was a really social and friendly person, so I wasn’t worried about going and making new friends in this hostile environment, but I was so, so, SO stupid!

From the second I walked in, I was stunned by how diverse it was there, there were few white people, and most of the kids there were racial minorities. I stuck out like a sore thumb… I went to school wearing my favorite rainbow pastel dress, I had even curled my hair and showered before my first day of school! I smelled of flowers and I was so cute looking. That however… That was my first mistake!

The others kids looked dirty… I don’t want to sound mean but they did! Their shirts were covered with stains. They seemed tired and unkempt. It was really a shocking contrast to the private school I went to before, but I tried not to judge. I acted super friendly and nice to everybody I saw. I introduced myself and I did a curtsy, I was so prim and proper!

“Hello there! My name’s Safara Grace, I’m new to this school. How are you?” Is what I’d say, but people seemed to hate me even more.

But not only that… I was white… Pure white. No, I don’t think you understand just how pale my skin is, it looks like I’ve never been outside before. Why? Because I’m an albino! Yes, my skin is pale, my eyes are purple and my hair is bleach white. Every time people see me, they look stunned and ask if I’m faking it. I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. I was born this way. Albinos are so rare, so the best way I can make you understand what my life is like on a daily basis is to make you imagine something…

So imagine you’re a kid… A black kid...going to school, but everybody there is white. They've never seen a black kid before and you are the only black kid around.

Imagine the bullying or the weird stares… Yeah! That’s my life all the time! Except I have no refuge with other albino people like the black kid does, I just have me! Being such a rare trait, I don’t even know another who looks like me… Oh and also, my skin is very irritable to sun light, so I walk around with a parasol all the time.

But anyways, I made no friends. For the first time ever, I was unable to make friends! I was heart broken and confused. I became very lonely. I hated this school so much… Everybody was so different… They hated me because I looked rich and I was so freakishly white. I told myself that the racism against me for being white was justified. I mean, white people were very racist in the past… But I soon stopped when I realized the few other white kids in the school weren’t getting bullied at all! Well… Except for one… I noticed this boy who always did group projects and sat alone at lunch like I did... He never spoke and nobody ever dared talk about him. I started hanging out with him, and I soon learned why…

CHAPTER 2

Yeah, that boy was creepy. He was tall, bone thin skinny, and he had extremely messy dark brown hair, tipped with gold. He was sort of attractive in the “I look almost dead inside but I’m super hot” kind of way. He wore a blue dress shirt with a grey hoodie on top. He was…strange.

He looked so tired with black bags hung under his eyes. His skin was gray and bruised all over. He had this depressing aura that lingered around him. To any normal person, just staring at him would send off red flags and make you stay away. To me though, a desperate and lonely teenage girl, he was perfect.

I quickly understood why everybody stopped bullying me when I started hanging out with him; they pitied me! They used to call me names and shove me into walls, but they stopped when I met him.

One day, a popular girl told me she would be my friend if I stopped hanging out with him. “Uh… why? I’m sorry but this sounds like a trap.” I replied to her, rolling my eyes.

“I know this looks cheap but I’m not kidding…”, she paused, “that guy is NUTS. He’s too weird for such an innocent li'l girl like you. Look, I promise to be nicer and I’ll tell everybody in school that you’re cool, but seriously…not him…hang out with anybody except him…”

“Why? Why is he so crazy to you?” I was so insulted by her pleas.

“Because he’s…he’s… I don’t know what’s wrong with him!”, she yelled at me. “The guy’s a fucking creeper and he’s unstable! Not only that, but rumors around school say that he’s addicted to the worst kinds of drugs, but nobody is even sure of that. Others say he’s mental, but it doesn’t matter what his problem is, he’s gonna rip you apart, Safari!”

“My name is Safara…”, I said in a dead pan tone. All I could do was walk away.

I think I did the right thing in that moment… That girl was a bitch to me. She spread lies around the school about my father and how he lost his job for cheating on my mom. Everybody believed it only because she was popular. I hated her and I wasn’t going to take her advice.

But, no matter how I spin it… She was absolutely right. Bonding with that guy was harder than I thought… More often than not, I felt uncomfortable around him. Getting him to speak was hard enough, he would ignore me and stay silent but when he did talk, it was…

IT WAS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND HIM! He spoke like an emotionless robot! His tone of voice was this constant bored and tired tone, yet sometimes he’d say a joke or act sarcastic, but it wouldn’t make any sense because he sounded exactly the same as his normal tone!

It took me a whole month to get him to talk to me. I felt bad for pestering him around… I’d force my way into working with him during group projects in class, I’d eat with him at lunch, and I'd hang out with him in the library.

I remember the first time I got him to talk to me. I had opened up my sketch book and tried showing him my clothing designs. He looked at them blankly. He seemed uninterested at most of the drawings.

"They're pretty good.", he said in an uncaring tone.

"Oh...you...like them? For real?" I couldn't help but smile anyway.

“Yeah.” He replied simply. “You’re good.”

"Oh, thank you..." I pointed to my favorite ones. "You see how my dresses are colorful? Well, I do that just cause these days all the clothes are boring and black. I like making my stuff stand out, but I also like pastel colors too."

I assumed he didn't care because he sounded bored. Also he's was a boy. Boys don't like fashion like girls do.

He tilted his head slightly, "Yeah..I can see that.”. He sounded just as lifeless as ever.

I was surprised by this interaction, but after this he seemed to open up to me. He spoke to me about the things his liked; those being science and history, but he still didn’t talk much.

It was funny, because after a while I got used to him. I was able to read his sarcasm from his honesty even if the tone of his voice didn’t give any clues… I was so used to his weirdness that I stopped questioning him about all the bruises he had on his body. Heck, I even forgot that I didn’t know his name!

But luckily, one day he told me it out of the blue. We were in class working on a english oral presentation and we were both writing our parts and then he suddenly looked at me, straight in the eyes and said:

“Dimitrius Atkins.”

“What?”, I replied, not even bothering to look back at him.

“That’s my name. I know your name.” He replied. “But you don’t know mine… a-and that’s not fair.”

“Oh… You’re right! I sort of forgot about asking you after a while.”, I said, surprised. “Dimitrius… That’s an uncommon name..” “Please call me Dimitri though.” He corrected me with a monotone expression. “I don’t like Dimitrius.”

“Oh… why don’t you?”

“It sounds too serious. I’m a goofy guy. It’s not very fitting.”, he said seriously. How ironic.

I just giggled and went back to work.

From then on, we sort of became friends. The more he spoke, the more concern grew in me. He wasn’t crazy like everybody said he was, but there was something wrong with him.

He showed up to school with blood stains on his sleeves and scars all over him sometimes. I can’t forget the time he showed up to class late… He limped over to his desk, bruises all over his hands and he had a black eye. That was my wake up call. After that, I started noticing more.

I guess the first thing was his sarcasm. I assumed it was sarcasm.

“Hey Dimitri, what’s up!?”, I’d say excitedly.

“No… He’s not here right now.”, he’d reply.

Or other nonsensical replies.

“Hey Dimitri, for the project, do you want me to write the introduction or should I do the conclusion?”

“No, Safara, the world won’t have a conclusion.”, he said blankly.

“Dimitri, I mean the project!”, I exclaimed. “What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He said looking away from me.

These sort of situations would come out of nowhere. Like I said, I thought it was him being sarcastic or making jokes, but the more we talked, the more I realized: he wasn’t joking. He was giving me these nonsense answers because he thought they were appropriate but it just made no sense…

I asked my mother, a psychologist, about it. I told her everything about him.

“Oh Safara… Your friend sounds like he’s mentally ill.”, she answered with concern in her eyes.

“You sure? I know he’s weird but…”

“Safara, this sounds serious. Maybe you should invite him over someday… I would love to talk to him.”

“Ok mom, I will.” I told her.

CHAPTER 3

The day after, I went to school with a mission. I was going to invite Dimitri to my house! I was so anxious about it that my legs were fidgeting all day.

I saw him sitting at his usual spot, alone in the library, reading a book about robotics like he always did. His hair was combed that day, he looked good for once! Well, looking good for him is pretty easy. He just has to look like he wasn't beat up 10 minutes ago and had washed his hair in the past 20 years.

I walked over to him, and Dimitri greeted me!

“Hey there, angel girl.”, he quietly said. He sounded tired.

I was caught off guard. Was he complimenting me? I sat down next to him.

“Hey there. So…do you want to go out?”, I said jokingly. I wanted to see him get flustered. I was pretty disappointed when he just nodded and continued reading. I think I may have spotted his cheeks get a little flushed, however.

“No, I mean, do you want to eat dinner with my family this weekend?”

“No.” He said dryly.

“Oh… Do you want to hang out this weekend?” I tried again.

“Sure.”

“At my house?”

“No.”

“Then where do you want to hang out?”, I snapped at him impatiently. I was shushed by the librarian.

“At the park.”, he whispered back.

“Oh. Cool.” I was a bit surprised. I didn’t know there was a park near by. “See ya there then.”

“Bye.” He waved at me and very obviously forced a smile. “Dimitri... I’m not leaving.” I laughed quietly but the librarian heard it. He promptly kicked me out of the library.

I got up and walked out.

“Bye again.”, he said while waving at me. This time his smile seemed more genuine, which hurt me a lot.

I muttered curse words under my breath and walked out embarrassed. My mission was a failure, but I was going to meet him at the park that Friday after school, so I felt proud either way.

Friday night finally came. The wait was unbearable. We met outside of the school. He gave a look, but it was more like a blank stare. He gave me a signal to walk over to him. Once I was close to him, he said carefully,

“Watch out for people who follow us. The park is safe but the path there is dangerous.”

I was unsure of how to reply so I just nodded. He put up his hood and lead the way. I followed him, walking by his side, trying not to get my parasol in the way. I tried to make small talk, but he stayed mostly quiet.

He asked me about my family, so I told him why I moved here.

“That’s too bad.”. He sounded careless, like he didn’t mean it. “This place is a bad place to live in.”

“I… Yeah…”. I agreed with him but I felt bad doing so, knowing that he lived here.

Looking around me, I saw trash all over the streets. People weren’t dressed as well as they used to be back in my previous neighborhood. People looked tired or overworked. There were hobos all over the place. Not to mention the buildings looked old and worn down.

“This place is so different from where I used to live.”, I told him.

“This is what poverty looks like.”, he said bluntly, “everybody here is suffering.”

“I know…”. I was hurt just seeing it all. I felt so sad for these people. “I want to help them.”

“Don’t.”

“W-why not?”. I stammered over my words, shocked by his apathy.

“They just take and take. They will never get out of this.”. He looked at me blankly. “Nobody gets out of poverty once they fall into it.”

“But… what about me?!”, I said, insulted.

“Start getting a job. Save up.”. He looked around behind his shoulder. “You can dream too.”

I stopped talking to him until we reached the park. I didn’t like him being so mean but what he said had truth to it.

The park was surprisingly isolated. It was full of trees and trash littered the ground. It was peaceful and it looked like a forest with hiking trails.

“You like to walk?”, he asked emotionlessly.

“Yes, and I love nature too.”, I said smiling, pleasantly surprised by the beauty of the park. “There’s a lot of trash here but it’s still nice to have a forest in the middle of the city.”

“That’s good.”, he replied, “nobody likes to come here…”

“Oh? Why not? It’s so pretty!”

“Um… well.”, he started, “there was once a big mafia that was running this part of the city. They committed many crimes. This park used to be popular for kids in the summer, but then they realized that the mafia was burying their victims here…. A police investigation was launched and they dug up over 22 bodies…”

“Oh my god…”, I whispered.

“Exactly.” He nodded. “People weren’t allowed in during the investigation…but once it was over, people didn’t want to come back in here. I’ve only ever seen one other guy here.” “They are afraid… and for good reason.”

“And nobody wants to buy this land cause it’s “haunted” apparently.” He forces a small laugh like it’s funny. “I’ve been here a lot and I haven’t seen anything here.”

“Well… heh… I can’t say I’m exactly too thrilled to take a stroll in here now.” I joked even though it was half true.

He didn’t reply. He just started walking. We walked in silence for a bit. It was making me feel really uncomfortable. I started looking around the forest. We could still hear the cars whooshing past us, as the streets were just behind the tree line, but as we walked further and further away, the sound faded.

I felt at peace, listening to the rustle of the wind in the leaves and the birds in the trees.

As a city girl, I don’t go to forest that often. My closest experience to animals are the bird feeders in my back yard and the squirrels. This walk was giving me nostalgic memories of the times I went camping.

I turns to look at what was to my left and I jumped a bit, seeing Dimitri besides me was startling as he was so quiet I forgot he was there. Though now, I was staring at him…. subtly! So he wouldn’t notice… I spotted a couple of bruises on his hands, neck and a faded scar on his cheek. Now that I was up close to him, I could see there was a lot more signs of injuries on him then I had previously thought.

“Hey Dimitri…”, I mumbled to him timidly.

He almost robotically turned to look at me. “Yeah?”

“Sorry for asking this… It might be personal. Why do you have a lot of bruises on your skin?”, I asked him. Instantly regretting the invasive question, I stammered out another sentence. “It’s nosey of me, I know, but it’s a hard detail to miss. It’s concerning…”

He went back to looking in front of him. He didn’t reply for a solid minute. The silence and wait was unbearable.

“I just get into a lot of fights.” He answered simply.

“But how?” My interest was peaked.

“Well you know… it’s a bad neighborhood. Gangs are everywhere.” He turned to look at me. “You better be careful.”

The words lingered in my head, sending a chill down my spine. The way he said it, cold and uncaringly, sent implications that were not spoken. Was he…threatening to attack me? Or was he warning me of other people doing so? He creeped me out.

“T-thanks… I will.”

Finally we reached a small river that ran along through the city and this park. We stopped and Dimitri told me a story about how a kid drowned in it. He’s not a very cheerful guy but I tried to ignore it…

We sat along the edge of the river. There were ducks passing by. Dimitri pulled a whole loaf of bread out of his back pack and handed me a few slices.

“Do you always carry around bread in your bag?” I laughed.

“Yep.” He said throwing a piece of bread into the water.

I laughed even harder. “So you do this often?”

“Yep.”

A pack of ducks were gathered around us now, fighting over the pieces of bread we were tossing into the water. We fed the ducks together while chatting. Eventually the topic of family came up.

“Well… I have a little brother. He’s a little brat. What about you?”, I asked.

“I’m a single child.”, he said, concentrated on the ducks.

“Aw, that must be lonely, isn’t it?”

“It is… But not because of my lack of siblings.”, he answered robotically.

“Oh how so?” I was probing for more information.

“Well I don’t have a father… Um… no. I do have a dad, he’s just not around much at all. And my mom? I avoid her.” He said hesitantly.

“Why is your dad gone? Why do you avoid your mom?”, I asked, concerned for him.

He forced a smile and looked at me. “No. Everything is fine.”

“Dimitri…” I gave him my “I know you’re lying to me” face and his smile faded away back to his neutral expression.

“My mom isn’t a nice woman… And my dad is in prison.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.” I felt bad for pushing him to say it.

But a thought clicked in my head. He came to school everyday with bruises and cuts and he admitted that his mother wasn’t “nice”. Was this abuse?

“D-Dimitri… does your mom hurt?” I questioned.

“No.” He said simply.

“But you-”

“No.” he said a bit louder. “She doesn’t like me. But she doesn’t not like me either.” He said calmly. “Now stop asking me crappy questions.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s ok. I forgive you.”

We finished the bread and the ducks looked satisfied. They swam off and we walked off. He chatted a little back to the streets. I offered Dimitri the dinner invitation again and he accepted. We scheduled it, and I went home.

CHAPTER 4

It was the big day! Dimitri was gonna come over, we were going to hang out, eat dinner and somehow I’d persuade him to talk to my mom so she could figure out what was wrong with him.

I know I sound weird, trying to stalk him and get him diagnosed by my mom, but I obsessively want to help people and sometimes I take it too far. This is one of those times.

Dimitri showed up at our door. He was wearing a blue dress shirt and his hair was combed but still messy. He had a black eye and a bloody nose. He didn’t seemed fazed by it at all.

My brother heared the knocking first, unknowing of what our guest would look like. To his surprise, he was met by a disheveled young man at our door, standing like nothing was the matter. All he could do was stare.

Dimitri was so shy he didn’t say anything, just bleeding out of his nose. The blood was dripping down his face and leaking down his neck. He had just been seriously punched in the face, but my brother was too choked up and confused to know what to do.

“What the fuck happened to you!?”, Kevin yelled in disgust.

“I um..” He stammered. “I was mugged before coming here…”

Kevin just gave him a look of astonishment and ran into the kitchen to call for our mother.

Dimitri just let himself in. At that point I had heard the commotion and promptly came down the stairs. I froze up, seeing Dimitri bleeding like that.

“Hi Safara!” He waved cheerfully to me.

My mother came rushing in and bombarded the boy with questions, giving him a towel for his nose and a wet rag for his eye.

Dimitri seemed oddly perky. Usually, he was emotionless, making him come across as bored or slightly annoyed with everything. However, now he seemed to have a hint of happiness in his demeanor. I won’t ever complain about Dimitri being actually happy for once, but it was so different from his normal self that it weirded me out.

My mother, brother and I gave him a lot of attention while trying to help his wounds heal. He just sat there and gave us a small smile. He was giggling randomly from time to time. He seemed to be really enjoying himself even thought nothing much was happening.

“So what happened to you, eh?” Kevin asked.

“Oh... I was walking over here from my house. I was taking the back roads to avoid the traffic.” He started to explain.

“Back roads? Traffic? You were walking! How could there be traffic?” Kevin interrupted.

“I don’t like the big streets with too many cars…” He snarled. “Anyways… I passed by an alley way when a sketchy little girl jumped in front of me. She said something about me needing to go somewhere with her to meet somebody and to learn “about the past.” But I didn’t want to be late so I “kindly explained” to her that I needed to be somewhere and she got “upset” with me. Then, she punched me in the face and walked off.”

“That’s… odd.” I interjected. “Are you ok though?”

“Well I’m here aren’t I?” He smiles brightly.

I was just more unnerved. This was too out of character for him… But I tried to ignore it.

Dimitri was popular with my family. My dad and him made jokes together. My brother and him ran off to play video games. (By the way, he sucks at gaming. I would haven’t guessed he’d be terrible…)

My mother approached me.

“Safara, you said he was off, but he doesn’t seem like it now.”

“I know but he’s never acted like this before. He’s usually cold and apathetic to everything.” I turned to face her. “He’s like emotionless all the time and the other kids at school say he’s crazy and talks to himself. I don’t get it! He’s the complete opposite to how he asks at school.”

My mother just stared at me for a moment. “Have you noticed that he was giggling at nothing earlier?”

“Yes?”

“He’s high.” She said with a really serious tone.

“WHAT?” I gasped.

“QUIET! It’s only a guess… But I’ve seen this behavior before. He doesn’t have any redness in the eyes, though… So I don’t know what it is that he’s on. Oh, but there's also other factors. Maybe at school, he’s just really depressed and outside of school he feels more free to open up?” She hypothesized.

“That can’t be it. When we went to the park, he was acting the same.” I argued.

“Well then.” She rolled her eyes. “We should let him get comfortable and then we can get our improv therapy session, but only if he cooperates.”

The night went on. Dimitri's enthusiasm diminished so much so during the night that he was back to his emotionless self when dinner came around. He was so quiet that my family ignored him for the whole supper. He was extremely shy. I tried to talk to him but he would only nod his head in response to anything.

After dinner, he and I went up to my room. I gave him a “grand tour” which mainly consisted of me showing him my stuff and him just listening. He was barely talking. I felt bad.

“Dimitri… are you ok?”

He just nodded meekly.

“It’s ok if you aren’t. Do you want to go home?” I asked him, sitting down on my bed.

Dimitri sat down next to me. I started getting nervous and my heart was beating fast. He was so close to me I could feel his body heat radiating.

“No… I like it here a lot. Your new house is very lovely, Safara.” He answered quietly.

My heart started pumping faster. I was my shot to convince him to talk to my mother. I had to ask him!

“So Dimitri…”

“Yes!?” He interrupted me suddenly.

“My mom is a psychologist and I know you have some problems… I was wondering if maybe you could talk to her and she could help you, like a therapy session. You wanna try it?”

He just blankly stared at me. His face was draining of blood and he was losing color.

“Yeah… but she won’t talk to you about it, right?”

“Oh no! That would be breaking the confidentiality rules! She won’t tell me anything. Even if I asked her, she’s very serious about her job.”

“Uh… ok. But not now…” He hesitated.

“Oh that's alright.” I leaned over to put my head on his shoulder.

I felt him shutter from the touch but he didn’t move away from it. He posed his head on mine and we sat like this for a while. It was peaceful and warm. I closed my eyes and held his hand. His palms were sweaty and he was trembling a bit.

“Do you mind?” I asked.

“No.” He answered.

“Good.” I held his hand tightly.

“I d-didn’t think this was a date.” He stammered.

“It’s not…”

“Then why are you doi- holdi- uh… UMM-”

“Sorry.” I back away and let go. “I’m just a huggy person. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I’m just…” he shivers a bit. “Not used to getting touched affectionately.”

“Oh Dimitri.” I giggled. “I don’t really consider this affection, I just think of hugs as casual things friends do.”

“Oh ok.” He replied.

We watched a little bit of TV, not saying much. After the episode ended, He got up and walked out. I thought he was going to the bathroom and he’d come back quickly but he never did.

After 20 minutes, I left the room and looked around.

Kevin was in the kitchen, sneaking cookies out of my parents’ secret spot for them.

“Hey bro, where’s Dimi?” I asked him, taking a cookie for myself.

“He’shh- wiff mom.” He said, mouth utterly stuffed with cookies.

“Thanks.” I put the cookies away and I went back to my room to wait for him.

I think Dimitri stayed there for 2 hours. I was watching the TV for a ridiculously long time. When he did come back, he looked drained.

“Sorry about that. I was expecting a little chat but I couldn’t shut myself up so I started ranting for a while.” He explained.

“Oh it’s ok. It is therapy.” I excused him.

He smiled and hugged me. I was taken aback but I held him tightly. I could feel his body. He was so frail and skinny under those clothes. It was calming for that half a second we that were close.

Then he left.

I felt so lonely with him gone.

But then I realized…

“SHIT! WE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A RIDE HOME!”

CHAPTER 5

Nothing changed much at school. Dimitri was his typical robot self. There is one thing that was very welcomed though… Dimitri seemed to be forcing himself to act more. He would talk with more hand gestures and smiles (but his smiles were very awkward looking because he was forcing them).

Dimitri also became really friendly with my family. He would come over once a week after his first session with my mother. She really liked talking to him.

Neither Dimitri or my mother told me what they would talk about, but I knew it was serious. She would walk around with her note book after the sessions and often times, she’d be the one to invite him over.

One day, I knew something was up. She sat me down to talk about him.

“Safara, what has he told you about his life?” She asked me with a sternness in her voice.

“Not much…” Then I repeated all that he told me.

“I see. He is trying to hide it…” She flipped through her notes. “I can’t tell you much, with out his consent, but Dimitri allowed me to tell you this yesterday.”

“Oh…” I could feel that what she was about to say really important.

She looked me dead in the eyes and straightened her glasses. “He’s been diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 15 years old.”

A wave of shock zipped through my body. I was speechless.

“He has vivid hallucinations. Safara, that’s why he acts emotionless.” She told me.

“But what about when he comes here and acts all… alive?” I asked, completely baffled.

“That I don’t know.” She sighed. “But Safara, I want you to be extremely careful with him.”

“I am!”

“No… just…” She smiles at me. “Please keep being nice to him. You mean a lot to him.”

I blushed and nodded.

“That’s all I’m allowed to say. You should try to talk to him about his issues. He trusts you to keep these a secret, however. You got that, right?”

“Yes mother, I understand.” I got up to leave.

“Wait! I forgot to mention something.”

I sat back down.

“Would you mind if Dimitri lived with us?” She asked me.

My eyes widened. “You aren’t serious, are you?”

“I am. He has a bad home life, and I know that one of the only ways he can get better is by having a better family, so I asked him if could move in with us. It will be temporary, like maybe a few months or so.” She explained, justifying her decision. “I’ve already spoken to your father about this and he agrees. Dimitri wouldn’t be that huge of an addition to the family, we’d just need more food and that’s it.”

“Oh I don’t mind but don’t adopt him, ok? It would be weird to have a brother that looks so different from us.” I joked.

“Oh but that's what adoption is all about, sweetie! And he isn’t that different from us. I mean you are the most different of us all.” She touched my hair and poked my cheek, giggling the whole time.

This gesture really annoyed me. “...Thanks mom. But also, I just don’t want another brother. Kevin is enough of a brat as it is.”

“Dimitri’s a sweet young man” She said as she was getting up. “Anyways, I’m going to tell Kevin the news.”

I went back up to my room and I could hear my li'l bro wailing down stairs. He cried, “BUT THAT’S TOO MANY PEEEEOPLE!”. I snickered to myself.

CHAPTER 6

Dimitri came up to me at school the next day. He asked me if my mom told me the stuff and about the “news”.

“Oh. I’m so happy to be moving in with you.” He forced a smile but still sounded monotone.

“Me too! We’d get to hang out all the time!” I hugged him from excitement.

Dimitri grabbed me and spun around with me in his arms. He gently put me down. I looked up at him, confused but I saw a genuine smile on his face and my heart melted.

Dimitri being HAPPY is the cutest thing ever.

“Sorry. I’m just so excited.” He shook my hand for some reason. “I’ve just always wanted to leave home.”

“Oh… why?” I asked with concern.

“Well uh… Never mind!” He suddenly laughed awkwardly. “But yeah I’ll tell you in private. By the way, I’m sleeping in your basement.

“I’m really happy for you though.” I held his hand as we walked off to class. I didn’t care if the other students were watching. Dimitri seemingly lost his enthusiasm and got really quiet after that.

CHAPTER 7

Moving Dimitri into our basement wasn’t that hard and it didn’t take long. All he had was trash bags full of his clothes, a box that was full to the brim, labelled “parts”, and a mattress he used as a bed. All we did was put his stuff down and he organized it by himself.

Two hours later, he went up to my room. “Want a room tour, Saf?”

“Sure!” I went down the stairs alongside him.

His bed was just a mattress on the floor with a pillow and blanket. There was a desk that was particularly lacking the normal desk-clutter, and a simple wooden chair. My parents emptied out a shelf and he put his clothes there. There were no doors on the shelf so I could see his shirts, pants, and (Oh my gosh!) boxers! (Is it pervert to stare at a guy’s underpants??? It made me super uncomfortable to see those!)

Dimitri’s box of parts was untouched in the corner. All in all, the room was pretty small but it still had looked like he barely filled it. I walked over to his box and pointed at it.

“Need help unpacking this?” I asked.

“Oh!” He stared. “No. Don’t touch that, it’s fragile.”

“Ok, sorry.” I said. “So how do you like your new crib?”

“Super cool. I never really cared for the decorations, as long as it’s warm and I can eat and sleep, I’ll be fine.”

“Neat. So what now?” I asked.

He scratched his chin and looked up. “I don’t know. Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure! I just got a new horror movie from the store. I think it’s a slasher flick of something. I got it for my brother but he was too scared to watch it. I’m not a fan of those movies but I liked to get scared every once in a while. What do ya' say?”

He just went flush red and became really quiet. “Oh uh…” He scratched the back of his head. “Um… Ok.”

“What? You don’t like horror?” I asked, seeing how uncomfortable he was.

“N- I do like that. Let’s watch it.” His smile was meant to reassure me but it was so obvious it was forced.

So we went to my room to watch the movie. I really embarrassed with how much I yelped at each jump scare. Oh, and how I needed to cover my eyes during the violent scenes! Though, Dimitri barely had reaction. He was blushing from ear to ear and biting his lower lip. He would flinch during the fight scenes but, yeah. That was it. I thought he would be judging me for being a wimp! But half way through he got up and left, so I finished without him.

A hour later, I went downstairs to his room. I knocked on the door and he yelled. “It’s unlocked.” I walked in to see him fiddling around with metallic parts and tools. I approached cautiously.

“What are you doing?” I questioned, tilting my head to the side.

“Tinkering.” He replied expressionlessly.

I watched him open up the box to pull a toy robot he was going to disassemble. He leaned over to take a screw driver and started to remove pieces from the toy.

I leaned over to get a closer look. “Why are you breaking it?”

“I’m not breaking it.” He replied calmly. “I’m taking it apart… and rebuilding it.”

“Oh, why?”

“Well, it helps me understand how it’s made and the techniques they used.”

“Oh that sounds neat. You like making robots?” I asked him, overly interested in what he was doing.

I sat down next to him. He just looked at me and said nothing. I think he was confused but yet again, he had no emotion. Just his regular expressionless glare. His eyes felt like they were piercing deep into my soul… those glass-like, grayish-blue eyes. They creeped me out.

“Tell me about your robots, Dimitrius.” I muttered. “I’m curious…”

He raised an eye brow for a second but then went back to tinkering.

“So I like making stuff with my hands… Though, I have a whole system for it.” he paused and looked at me again. “You don’t mind me rambling?”

“Oh, Dimitri...you barely talk. I like your voice! Go ahead.” I encouraged him to go on.

“So uh…” he forced a smile. It was so cute. “I like making my own custom robots for tournaments and stuff, but I’m not that good at making my own parts, so I take them from other bots that I buy.”

I listened, completely fascinated in it. His voice was monotone and boring but he sounded calm. As he went on, there was a hint of happiness with him being able to talk about his passion.

“I take them apart then I rebuild them.” He continued. “...W-with out instruction manuals. The point is to know the purpose of all the parts, where they go, and how they work. I repeat breaking them down and building them back up again until I know the bots perfectly.”

“Is it time consuming?” I tilted my head and picked up one of his tools.

“It is but it depends on how complex the model is. Though, once I understand the bot perfectly, I can take its pieces and use them to make my own bot… or if I like the robot, I mod them to make them more efficient or stronger. Whatever I feel like doing to it, basically.” He took the piece from my hand. “This is a screw driver….”

“Oh my god! You think I didn’t know what a screw driver was!” I laughed at him but I stopped when I saw that he looked nervous.

“Sorry, Dimitri. I like what you do with the robots. It’s really cool.”

“Thank you…” He replied timidly.

Suddenly the door opened, and someone appeared from the newly escaping light. Dad. He sternly yelled, “SAFARA! IT’S BED TIME.”

I called back to him, "I'M COMING, ONE SECOND!". I gave Dimitri a hug.

“Good night, Dimi!”, I said as I was running up the stairs.

Dimitri just stares at dad, mouth agape. His cheeks were the reddest I've ever seen. “Y-you too, angel…” He stammered and muttered.

SIDE CHAPTER 1

-MONSTERS-

A woman paced around the room and stopped in front of a mirror hung up on the wall, putting on a pearl necklace. She grabbed a comb and brushed over the bangs of her long, silky, brown hair. She was very tall and slim. Like a stick, she adorned barely any curves. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she smiled. She was all dressed up in all of her best clothes.

A man walked into her room. He was smiling. Wearing a suit with a green tie, matching with the color of his eyes. He was giving a piggy back ride to his son, a cute little boy with short blond hair.

The woman walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Are you two ready to go to church?”, she asked with her sing song voice.

“Of course.”, the man replied with a wink and smile. “How’s his outfit?”

The lady examined her son’s clothing then she nodded.

“Yes, it’s good.” She walked out. “Come along now! We don’t want to be late for our lord.”

Behind her back, the man rolled his eyes and put his son down. Once on the ground, the toddler stumbled toward the front door.

The car ride over to the church was pretty uneventful. The little boy wasn’t listening to his parents bickering in the front, he was fascinated by the trees rolling by, yet the clouds being seemingly suspended and frozen in the sky. He held out his hands and tried to grab the birds, freely flying across the beautiful blue sky.

Once inside the church, the little boy held his mother’s hand and followed her. The outside of the church was colossal and grand. It towered over the little boy. A statue stood over the entrance. It was of winged humans saving Earth's people from certain doom while the rest had already met their demise. They all wore faces filled with utter terror, as they were burning and being eaten by horrifying monsters. Each time the boy saw this statue, he’d start to cry and his parents would scold him for it. This time would be different! He put on his brave face and stared down the statue as he walked in, but he held back the tears. His mother and father didn’t notice.

Once inside, he thought he was going to have an easier time, but he had forgotten that inside there were monsters here too. Big paintings of the monsters were hung on the walls. Luckily, they were much less scary than the statue.

They sat down and listened to a man in a robe speak. The boy was so bored that he fell asleep, lying his head down on his father’s lap. Each time they needed to stand or sing songs, his mother would elbow him really hard in the shoulder to wake him up. It always happened like this. He’s come home with bruise on his shoulder and it didn’t matter where he sat, his parents forced him to sit in the middle of them so that they could watch his behavior better. He was used to it by now, but sometimes he’d cry on the way back home. He wasn’t allowed to cry at church, people would stare.

He was ecstatic it when they sang the songs, though. He loved to sing. He'd yell out the lyrics of the hymns as loud as he could so he could drown out all the other voices. It was the point of the game for him.

Eventually, his mother took his hand and walked up to the display area. He was confused, they only let people walk up there to get the bread and wine. He wasn’t allowed to go up there because he didn’t have his First Holy Communion yet…

She picked up him in her arms. He was heavy since he wasn’t exactly her little baby anymore, but she could still manage. While in her arms, he stared back at the crowd. Everybody was staring at him and her. He felt a pressure build up in his chest and he wanted to run but he couldn’t. She was holding on too tightly.

He stared up at the wall that was behind the crowd, it had a massive painting of a winged human with a shiny circle around their head. They were impaling a red monster with big horns and a tail. It was like the statue but, much more scary and gruesome!

He felt tears welling up in his eyes and he squirmed to get away. Suddenly, his mom lowered him and submerged his head under water. The few seconds he spent under there felt like an hour, but he was soon pulled out.

He coughed violently for a while after. The pastor gave him a speech he could barely hear or focus on.

The car ride home was terrible. He was so scared of the monsters and confused by the water. He sobbed quietly, trying not to bother his parents who were still bickering to each other.

CHAPTER 8

Dimitri became accustomed to living with us after 3 weeks of residing here. However, he was really weird about being seen with me outside of the house. I took the bus to school but he’d still walk there. When he did take the bus, he would avoid me like the plague and get off at completely random stops.

It was obvious that he was paranoid. Constantly looking over his shoulder, keeping a distance from people when he could, and when he had to be around people, he had his hood up and ignored everyone. Being invisible was his goal. I hated it.

He was hiding something from me.

Thursday night, after school. Dimitri went to the basement and I went to my room. I was finishing up my homework when I got stumped by a math problem. I went down to see him, hoping he could help me out.

I slowly crept down the stairs to his room. I caught him at his desk working on robots and wearing glasses. I rarely ever see him wear them, but I really liked them. It made him look so sophisticated and intelligent. He was already really smart, but it made him look the part too.

He looked up at me as I got closer.

“What’s up, angel girl?” He asked.

I giggled. “Oh, why do you keep calling me that?”

“Because you are an angel.” He smiled.

My heart melted. Usually, he was so robotic in his actions and speech but it was so cute to see him smile with out forcing it.

I pulled up a chair and sat next to him. I asked him for help with the homework and he effortlessly solved it, and then taught me the process step-by-step. He was much more help than the teacher was. After we solved that one, we just kept going through all of the other questions I didn't get.

After that was done, I didn’t want to leave him just yet. I liked his company.

“Hey Dimitri… Thank you.” I hugged him.

He didn’t say anything, he just gave me a small smile and nodded. He put his arms around me and I felt his heart beating fast in his chest. I let go of him after a few seconds.

“I was wondering though…” I began to explain to him that I thought weird to be so paranoid out in public and I was wondering why he acted that way.

He was visibly nervous, he started tapping his fingers on the desk and darting his eyes around.

“I can’t tell you… It’s better if people don’t see us hanging out in public… I tried to get you to avoid me at school but you didn’t get the message so I gave up.”

“But why?” I asked, confused as ever.

“You’ll throw me out of the house if you knew- He paused. ...You’d hate me…Oh, Safara.. I’m so sorry.” He was expressionless but hints of remorse were seeping in.

“Dimitri… You can tell me anything. I won’t ever hate you.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

He sighed. “Safara. I’m targeted. I’m dangerous. Being around me might make you targeted too. I don’t want you to be hurt, so I try to avoid you and others in public.”

“I-I'm not following. Can you explain more?"

He bowed his head in shame. “I’m the son of Tony Drey. Remember the story I told you at the park? It was about him.”

I gasped. “You’re father was a mob boss?!”

He nodded. “Yeah… He did terrible things… He’s infamous throughout this entire city. His claim to fame was being elected to office as representative of this district of the city. He was passing laws that corrupt the governmental system. He was a well known anarchist and his plan was to dismantle all government. Though, he did much, much, more before that.

He did pretty much everything. Prostitution, drug dealing, robbery, scamming, and yes… he murdered people. He didn't do it himself, though… At least I don’t think he did.

It’s complicated. Basically, he was the leader of his own gang, but it was well organized, so calling it a gang would be an insult. It was a full blown mafia and criminal organization. Everything was run by him and he had loyal followers.

Then he was caught… Put on trial and sent to jail. That's when a woman came out saying that they were seduced by him and had his kids. My mother was devastated but whatever, fuck her.” He said the last part with hatred staining his words.

“Anyways, he was imprisoned and put on death row. He’s still there. He has to serve his 20 year term before he does.” He continued on. “And you’d think my troubles and there but they don’t. That fucker and I look the same!”

I pulled out my phone and quickly googled Tony Drey and I found his mug shot. What stunned me the most is that Dimitri was completely right. They were very similar, but there were some obvious differences too. Tony had green eyes, opposed to Dimitri’s blue, with dark black hair that was beginning to turn white, Dimitri’s was brown. Their haircuts were different, Dimitri’s was longer and a lot messier. Not to mention his dad had stubble and, well, Dimitri was lacking there.

“Yeah… He sure does look like you. Family resemblance…” ////*********************/////

“Exactly. But yeah my looks cause a lot of problems… You see, his followers want me to take his place because that his “official” son would be the heir to the throne and It pisses me off. I don’t want to be that. I want to be a police officer to put sickos like him

in prison where they belong. But not only do I have weirdos forcing me to give them orders, but I also have other people trying to kidnap me for ransom, and some who just want to kill me. So ya know the bruises and cuts on my body when you see me at school?”

I nodded weakly.

“That’s them starting fights with him and I need to protect myself. I fight back. That’s why I can’t have anybody hand out with me ever. But…” He avoided eye contact with me. “It’s so lonely isolating yourself from every one… I longed for somebody to confide in and you came to me. I wanted you to go but I wanted you there with me. It was a guilty pleasure to have you around.” He blushed a little. “I really appreciated our little chats, but I was so shy I could barely talk to you… and now I’m living with you. It’s a dream come true to have a friend like you with me Safara.”

“Oh Dimitri… That’s so sweet.” I was so touched. I was smiling and blushing hard.

“But yeah… I couldn’t bare to see my angel get hurt. You can’t be with t school or in public. I think people are watching me… And once they find out we’re friends they’ll try to hut you so they can hurt me. People are cruel, Safara, they’d attack you even if you are innocent.”

“But Dimitri, you can’t just let them rule over your life like this. You should call the police and get on the witness protection program!”

“You think I haven’t tried that? The cops in this city don’t care. This district is so corrupt, nobody cares about anything you do. That’s how my dad got into power, that’s why the crime rate is so high here.” He rolled his eyes.

“What if I helped?” I shot up the idea suddenly.

“And how would you do that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Dimitri, what if I could fight along side you? You can’t fight them alone. They’ll over power you someday.” I held his hand in mine and squeezed it. “You said you didn’t want me to get hurt, well, I don’t want you to get hurt or killed either. I want to protect you…”

He was speechless for a moment. He was touched by it obviously because his whole face turned red and he didn’t look at me in the eyes for the rest of the conversation.

“I can’t let you fight for me… If you get hurt, it’s my fault. But… I like the idea.”

“You could train me how to fight! I took karate classes as a kid and self defense!” I pleaded with him.

“I can’t teach you but I can bring you to the guy who taught me… But Safara, this is serious. You sure about it? It’s painful and it will take a lot of time for you to get good.” He explained with a dead pan tone.

“I want to be there for you Dimitri.”

I sealed myself to him in that moment and from then on, we were stuck together.

I was his and he was mine. I was naive. I saw a troubled young man who’d lived a hard life and I just wanted to save him. He called me his angel, and I felt the burden of living up to that title. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I wasn’t ready but I didn’t care. I was there to help. That’s what I thought I was doing.

Little did I know then, but the time Dimitrius and I would spend together would be the worst years of my life because from that day forward, I was brought into his suffering and I would not drown and suffocate in it until out mission was over.

That was the day I became an honorary mafia kid.

SIDE CHAPTER 2

-CRYING-

His mother stopped giving him attention. He’d come home to the sound of weeping or sobbing. At first he didn’t understand. He thought that once people reached adulthood, they stopped crying. He was hoping that would the case for him at least.

He knocked on on his mother’s bed room door. She ignored him, the crying just got louder, so he let himself in.

“Mommy, why are sad?” He whined as he walked over to her.

She was hunched over on the bed, pulling out her hair. She turned to look at him. Her face was so ugly when she cried. Tears staining her pillow and her face showing all the pain she feels inside. The little took a few steps back, frightened by his own mother’s appearance. Gestured to him to come closer. He hesitated but he did so. He sat next to her on the bed and he hugged and caressed his dirty blond hair.

“Dimitrius… Sometimes adults get sad too. Everybody has a different way of coping with sadness.” She explained.

“What’s coping?” He asked.

“Everybody is different and everybody needs to take of themselves.” She brushed off his question. “Mommy needs alone time, dearest.” She kisses him on the forehead.

He got off the bed. “So you want me to leave you alone?”

“Yes dear… I’ll come out and tell you when I feel better, ok?”

“Oh… Ok mommy!” He said as left the room, closing the door behind.

He waited for her to get better.

She never did.

CHAPTER 9

Dimitri Brought me to see one of his dad’s followers. The man was a huge muscular black guy named “Mufa” but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t his real name because he greeted Dimitrius by called him “Damien” instead. Also, he told me that I wasn’t allowed my real name on the streets. I had difficulty coming up with a new name for myself but Dimitrius comforted me and said it was ok for me to take time to think it over. I eventually settled with “Sophia”.

The first time was just basic training for fighting. It was pretty fun. On the way home after it, Dimitri was acting all nervous.

“Hey, um, are you sure about this? You really wanna go back to training?” He asked.

“Yes! Let’s go back twice a week, ok?” I set up our routine and Dimitri just nodded.

That’s what we did together from then on. School, hanging out and training with Mufa. It was so difficult for a while. My body ached but Dimitri was so supportive and he cheered me on. He was always there watching me from the side lines.

One day, we were walking to the candy store after the training when suddenly, a man hit Dimitri in the back with an empty bottle of wine. I jumped when I heard the hard “THUD” and Dimitri’s sharp gasp. It was happening! My first fight. Dimitri coughed and turned around. It was the bottle brothers.

Mufa had mentioned that the bottle brothers were two men from the opposing gang. They used bottles of wine as their weapons, they duel wielded them, using them as basic melee weapon.

The man swung at Dimitri again but this time, he took a step back and got out of the way. I was shaking, distancing myself from them. They ganged up on him. I was so helpless, watching them battering Dimitri.

He got a chance to grab the bottle out of one of their hands and he smashed it on the other brother’s head. I screamed as the bottle shattered in half. He fell to the floor, blood pooling all over with shards of glass all over the ground. This brutality shocked the brother and he froze watching his partner fall to the ground: that was his fatal mistake. Dimitri spun around with the broken bottle griped firmly in his hand and stabbed him in the stomach with the sharp broken part of the bottle.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I ran off and headed towards the park. Once there, I stopped to take a second to breath. Suddenly, my face was in the dirty. It happened so fast I couldn’t even scream.

“OHMYGODSAFARAAREYOUOK?” Dimitri spoke so fast in panic as he grabbed me by the waist and picked me up.

I was violent yanked off the the ground and held tenderly in his arms. He was trembling as he wiped the dirt off of my face.

I was stunned. I opened my eyes and I could see him, but it was blurry. It took me a few seconds for his anxious face to come into focus.

He swallowed some of his anxiety and held me tighter. “Are you ok? I d-didn’t mean to run into you.”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded slowly. The motion of my head bopping like that made me dizzy.

“Y-you started running after I was done with those guys.” He said.

“No. I’m ok.” I tried talking but it came out raspy and quiet. “I was just scared.”

He nodded and lifted me up. He threw me up into the air and I fell on my back into his arms.

He forced a reassuring smile. “I dealt with them. Let’s go home.”

He walks out of the park carrying me around bridal style. I was really confused by this but my head to much for me to question it.

As we walked home, people stared at us. They gave us weird looks. I glared back at them. Dimitri was doing something nice and people were staring at him like he was kidnapping me. I looked up at his face. He had no emotion on his face. I wasn’t sure if he was noticing it too and didn’t care or if he was oblivious.

I put my arm around his shoulders and hugged him for the rest of the walk.

“Dimitrius…”

“Don’t call me that.” He glared down at me.

“Sorry. My mom once told me you have schizophrenia.” I said.

“Oh? What else did she say?”

“You were diagnosed with it when you were 15.” I curled up to him. “That’s all I know.”

“Oh. Well what about it?” He sounded almost offended, but with him, any tone he has in his voice is best to be left ignored. He always sounds like a robot or a chronically annoyed mumbling teen age boy.

“You hallucinate. Mom said that… Do you hear voices?”

“Um.. Not exactly. Sometimes what people say to me gets mixed up, I mean, they’ll say something and I’ll hear the words out of orders.” He explained.

“What’s it like being schizophrenic?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve had it for such a long time that I’ve gotten used to it.” He replied.

“Oh but what do you hallucinate?”

“Well I can’t tell you that.” He forced a small laugh. It was cute. “You’d think I’m crazy.”

“I’m curious though and I won’t judge you.” I reassured him.

He gave me a cautious look, like he was unsure. I gave him puppy dog eyes and that convinced him. He stoped walked and pointed at a group of men.

“Well, right there, there are 3 demons talking to each other.” He said.

“Demons? There 3 guys.”

“They are all black and shadowy. They have arrow shaped tails and big horns. Their eyes and mouths are like light poking through the darkness.” He described as he continued walking.

“So… You seem demons.”

“Yep. Every stranger is a demon to me.”

“Was I a demon when we met?” I asked, kneading my fingers in his hoodie.

“Yes.” He looked down at me. “But you turned into an angel as we got to know each other.”

“Wait what? I’m an angel?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Well aren’t you?” He said with concern.

“I’m a human, Dimitri.”

“B-but you have wings and a halo, you’re so beautiful and shiny… you’re an angel.”

My heart fell into my stomach but I also felt the butterflies fly around in there too. I didn’t know if Dimitri think this about me would be dangerous or if I should be flattered.

“Do you really see me like this?” I asked trying not to sound nervous.

“Yeah. All the time.”

“Hey Dimitri, do you know that your hallucinations aren’t real, right?”

He glared at me. No filter, no held back emotions, he looked actually angry. For real.

“You can walk.” He said and dropped me at on the ground.

I fell down right on my butt. He stepped aside and walked away. It really hurt but seeing him leave me hurt more. I jumped up and I was about to yell at him but I stoped. I lowered my fist.

I remember what my mother said to me. To be careful with him.

Schizophrenics can be really dangerous if you don’t treat them right…

I cocked my head to the side and grinned. Just trying to push it aside. I walked up to him.

“I wonder what it’s like to see how you see the world… It must be interesting.” I said cheerfully, but I was trying not to punch him with all my might.

He looked up. “I could show you, but it’s a little risky.”

I snapped out of my anger and stared at him in confusion. “Wait… How?”

“I did it once before, but if we do it, you need to follow my instructions very carefully.”

“what do we have to do to achieve it?”

“Well, it’s like a ritual… It helped you see inside of the other person’s head. You drink some water in a dark room and the person who want to share their mind has to describe everything to the other person.” He paused for a second and stared at me. “It relies on imagination.”

“Oh… so it’s not actually going into somebody’s mind?” He smirked “No that’s scientifically impossible, but this ritual is as close to it as it gets. Do you want to try it?”

“Sure, why not?” I shrugged.

“Ok! I’m gonna run off to the store and buy some candles. Go home with out me, ok?” He said as he ran off.

“Dimitri! Wait!” I called out to him but he was already gone.

#behind the scene concept #schizophrenic disorder #mafia kids #mafiakids #dimitriatkins #conceptdesign #riverleyk #comic #original character #writers on tumblr #writing process #writing #story ideas #stories #narrative #short story

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thetravelerwrites · 4 years

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Monster Match #26: Duamutef (Lemon)

The Traveler's Masterlist

For @one-halloween: “My pronouns are she/her and my orientation is pan. I'm small (like 4'9") with waist length brown hair that's bleached in an ombre style. I dress in a kind of retro style (so like 80s acid washed jeans and crop tops). Uhh I love reading, writing and gaming as well as hiking and working on a car or something like that. I'm often quiet but around people I like I can be the jokester of the group.

Cliché but I like partners who are taller than me, and those I can joke around with. Someone who is also loyal and honest as well as loving and will take interest in hobbies. The things I dislike are dishonesty and secrets. As well as someone who takes life way too seriously and won't crack a joke here or there. Also someone who doesn't take interest in what others do. I was thinking if you could make it NSFW that would be great.”

You’ve been matched with Duamutef!

Duamutef is one of the four sons of Horus and one of the protection gods of the four canopic burial jars, specifically the jar which contains the stomach. In war, the most frequent cause of death was from injuries in the torso and stomach, and Duamutef protects this organ, both in life and in death.

Duamutef was originally represented as a man wrapped in mummy bandages; however, from the New Kingdom onwards, he is shown with the head of a jackal and is an example of cynocephaly which, in Greek mythology, is a creature with a human body and a canid head, specifically a jackal.

What gives a god their power was the belief of their followers; however, many of the ancient religions had either died completely or were far less worshiped during modern times, affording the gods of those pantheons less power. While some gods lamented this decline in their abilities, others found it freeing, and delighted in the opportunity of roaming the earth as they wished. One such deity was Duamutef.

As a lesser god, even people who followed the revival religion Khemetism didn’t tend to worship him as much as Anubis or Ma’at or his father Horus, so he decided to come to earth and travel the world, learning about an era with which he was unfamiliar.

Of course, you didn’t know all that when you met him. He introduced himself as Tua, an exchange student from Egypt. He was a mysterious figure and his age indecipherable to you. Sometimes he seemed young and boyish, easily a full foot taller than you, always smiling and laughing. However, there was this ageless look in his eye that told the story of a very old soul. He was tall and dark, just like in fairy tales, and already very popular on campus.

It surprised you when he took notice of you. You were a quiet girl, unassuming and not the type to draw attention, so his sudden interest in you was a little startling.

“Excuse me,” He said one day, coming up to you suddenly. “I’m afraid I don’t know your name.”

“That’s probably because we’ve never spoken before,” You said. “And I don’t think you know any of my friends.”

“An oversight. My apologies,” He said, smiling. “I make it my aim to know everyone in every place I go.”

You looked at him in alarm. “There are hundreds of people attending this college.”

“I am aware,” He said, still smiling. He had those deep, dark type of bottomless black eyes one could get lost in. “I’ve managed to at least introduce myself to most of the people, but it seems I have missed you. Forgive me.”

“Honestly, it’s not a big deal,” You said. “I’m nobody, really.”

“That’s not true,” He said. “Everybody is somebody to someone, and I’d like to be a friend to you. My name is Tua. May I ask yours?” He offered his hand to shake and you shook it, telling him your name. “Will you walk with me? The cafeteria is offering something called a corndog I’m eager to try.”

You laughed. “Don’t get too excited about that. It’s not exactly a culinary masterpiece.”

“But it’ll be new. I like new. I spent a very long time in one place, and now that I’m out in the world, I want to experience as much as I can.”

“Were you homeschooled as a kid or something?” You asked.

He laughed again. “Or something. My family had a lot of responsibilities many years ago, you could say. After working my whole life in the service of others, I think I’ve earned a vacation.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” You said. “It can be tough when your parents expect a lot from you.”

“That’s the truth,” He replied. “So, corndog? I’ll treat you.” He extended his hand toward the cafeteria.

You echoed his laughter. “I don’t know if I’d call it a treat, but sure. That sounds nice.”

From then on, Tua spent a lot of time with you. He seemed to go out of his way to seek you out. He said he enjoyed listening to you talk about things, saying that your perspective was entertaining. You didn’t mind his presence. He was earnest and funny and he always wanted to hear your opinion on things. He’d often come to the bookstore where you worked to get your recommendation for new books to read. He seemed confused by a lot of western culture’s practices and often asked you for advice or to explain things to him. His open curiosity and wonder with the world around him was very endearing.

You weren’t sure why he chose you to help him navigate life in the western world. Surely there were better candidates in the large pool of people who followed him around. He had a legion of fans who hung on his every word and shadowed him like love-struck puppies, but he dodged them consistently to spend time with you. There were more attractive people of several genders that he could have had his pick of, but he decided on you, and you were slightly baffled by it.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” He asked you one day while you were ringing up his new purchases. He must have a significant library by this point. “There’s something called a farmer’s market I’d like to go see.”

“I can’t go tomorrow,” You said. “My friend’s car is acting up and he wants me to take a look at it. From what he’s telling me, it sounds like his alternator is shot, and if that’s the case, that’s a full day’s work.”

“You can fix cars?” He asked. If he had animal ears, you’d swear they had perked up when he said that. “How interesting. I don’t know anything about cars. Can I observe?”

You shrugged. “If you want to. Make sure to wear stuff you don’t mind getting dirty. It is very hard to get motor oil out of clothes, trust me.”

“Of course,” He said.

“Here,” You said, taking out a pen and running out a length of receipt paper to write on. “Here’s my address. He’ll be dropping it off around 9 A.M. and picking it back up after his shift at work.”

“Excellent. I won’t be late.”

“If you say so,” You said, handing him his purchases. “Here you go. That D&D book is a classic. I think you’ll really like it.”

“Much appreciated,” He said with a smile, nodding politely as he left.

He arrived the next morning carrying a sack of donuts and coffee. You were glad he already knew what kind of coffee you liked, because he drank his very strong and you wouldn’t be able to stomach it. You had to do a double take when he took off his jacket and revealed a v-neck black shirt and tight black jeans. Normally he wore a pair of slacks and a button-up, so this look was quite a change and you were having trouble not staring. He was skinny, but he had a lot more muscle definition than you would have suspected.

“I hope I’m not late,” He said. “There was an accident on the way here. No one seemed to be hurt, but there was quite a backup on the highway.”

“No, you’re fine,” You said. “My friend hasn’t even shown up yet. Let’s eat before he gets here. Eating with grease on your hands is a bad idea.”

Your friend pulled up as you were inhaling a bear claw. You introduced him to Tua, they exchanged brief pleasantries, and your friend took off for the bus stop down the road.

“He seemed nice,” Tua said.

“He’s gay and single, if you want his number,” You laughed as you popped the hood of his Honda Accord.

Tua laughed as well. “I appreciate the offer, but he’s not my cup of tea. Or coffee, if you will.” He took a big gulp, and you shuddered.

“I can’t believe you take that black. It’s got to be so bitter.”

“We didn’t have sugar where I grew up, so I’m used to it.”

Your head rocked back. “Where did you live that you didn’t have sugar.”

“Near Cairo,” He replied. “It was called something different when I was born, though.”

You made a face. “Cairo was founded in 969 AD. You’re not that old.”

He smirked. “How old do I look?”

You stared at him, trying to gauge his age, but blanked. “Let’s just get to work.”

The alternator was indeed going out, and while changing it out wasn’t rocket science, it was labor intensive work for someone as small as you were. You were actually glad to have an extra set of hands to help. In addition to the alternator, you also found a crack in one of the hoses that was also going to have to be replaced, as it was leaking coolant.

Both of you were elbow deep in grease by the time you decided to take a break for lunch. You went to order a pizza as he went in to wash his… self. He somehow managed to get grease all over his face. You had a sneaking suspicion he just liked getting dirty.

After putting in your order, you went back outside to clean up the area around the car and put away the tools you didn’t need anymore in their rightful place in the toolbox when you happened to look up to the bathroom window. You had to squint and blink, because something was… off.

Tua had taken his shirt off to clean up, but something was odd about his head. It was larger, darker, and blurry almost. It almost looked like an animal’s head. Maybe it was just how the frosted glass reflected the color of his hair, but it didn’t look… normal. Something on the top of his head resembling ears flicked back and forth. Something that looked like a snout opened and shut, as if inspecting its teeth. The head shook like a dog slinging water from its fur. You blinked, and he had put his shirt back on and his head looked completely normal again.

Were you going insane?

Tua came back out of the house, the water from washing his face and neck glistening on his skin. You didn’t realize how bug-eyed you were until he tilted his head in concern.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

You shook your head to clear it. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I thought I saw… nevermind. It doesn’t matter. Pizza’s on it’s way.”

“What did you see?” He asked neutrally.

“It doesn’t matter,” You said. “It was probably a trick of the light.”

“What if it wasn’t?” He asked in the same neutral tone, watching your face. “Hypothetically.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

He sighed, shook his head, and his usual smile was back in place. “No matter. What kind of pizza did you get?”

You let the matter drop, but it nagged in the back of your mind for the rest of the day.

That night, your dreams were unusual. You dreamt of a dry place, of women in soft, sheer gowns and men in short skirted garments. Shaved heads and wigs.

In one of the dreams, a woman led you to a huge, grand hall made of stone. There, sitting on a throne of ebony inlaid with gold and jewels, was a man. He had a falcon’s head on a fit human’s body. He held a staff in his hand, and on his head perched a red and white pschent, the crown of Pharaohs. Behind him were four gigantic statutes of other men and women. He sat at their feet, surrounded by attendants.

The woman gestured for you to walk forward, and the man on the throne waved a hand. All of the attendants left him, leaving you standing there alone with him.

“My son has shown you interest,” The man said, his voice booming throughout the chamber, though his mouth never moved. “That is unusual. He and his wife have divorced millennia ago, and he has not taken interest in anyone for many, many years.”

“Your son?” You repeated. “Who is your son?”

“Know you not who I am?” He asked, standing and laying his staff against the armrest. “The god of the sky above and kingdom below. The wisest of my siblings, the most benevolent. Am I a stranger to you?”

“I’m sorry,” You said hesitantly. “I’m not really religious.”

He sighed. “I suppose that’s to be expected. The power of our pantheon has declined dramatically. I must be grateful that the revival in modern times has allowed us to rise from our sleep and reclaim any sort of rule.” He stood to his full height, which had to be at least seven foot. “I am Horus. You are a friend to my son, Duamutef, blessed with the head of a jackal, the animal of death, guidance, and protection.”

“The head of a jackal?” You asked. “Like a dog? So I wasn’t hallucinating? Tua really has the head of a dog?”

“In so many terms, yes. Tua, as you know him, asked for my permission to travel the world, and I granted it to him, hoping he would stop pining and bring his knowledge of the new world back to his peers.”

“How long is he allowed to explore?”

“Not that long,” Horus said. “A few centuries.”

You gaped at him. “You realize that since the industrial age, humanity and its technology is advancing very quickly. The world isn’t the same as it was ten years ago, and it will be different in another ten years.”

“Oh,” Horus said, seemingly baffled. “That’s alarming. In the ancient kingdom, it was as if time stood still. Once we gave humans the knowledge they needed to live and create, things carried on as it always did for over three millennia.”

“Things are different now,” You said, perhaps too boldly considering you were speaking to a god.

“It would seem so,” He replied thoughtfully. “Duamutef is eager to learn, however. As long as he sends back a report, I suppose he can stay in the mortal plane as long as he wishes.”

“I’m sure that would make him happy,” You said.

“I think you would, too,” Horus said, looking down at you. A falcon can’t smile, but you felt kind approval radiating from Horus’s body.

“I would?” You said. “I’m his friend, just a girl he follows around because I explain things to him. I’m not special. Besides, I don’t even think he likes me that way.”

“Aren’t you?” Horus asked patiently. “Doesn’t he?”

You flushed. You hadn’t really considered it. He seemed way out of your league. “Well… even if he did, how can I be worthy of a god?”

“You are worthy. You do not need me to tell you so, nor do you need him to. But he has chosen you, and I am pleased that he is happy and moving on. He has been alone for a very long time.”

“This is a lot to process, you know that?”

“Indeed,” Horus agreed. He turned and went back to the throne, sitting in it. “Take some time to think it over, but do not make him wait long. My son’s happiness is important to me.” He raised his hand and snapped his fingers.

You woke covered in sweat and gasping. That… that couldn’t have been real, could it? Thank god… or gods… that tomorrow was Sunday. You needed a full day to just… deal.

Monday, you returned to school, both confused and… a little excited. There was something innately fascinating knowing an actual god was walking around campus, acting like a human. While you weren’t a fan of the fact that he was hiding it from you, you were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Just this once.

You saw him in the courtyard surrounded by his usual fans. His magnetism suddenly made a lot more sense. You wondered why you were so resistant to it.

“Tua!” You called. He looked up, caught your eye and smiled, walking over. His gaggle of… worshipers?… followed behind him.

“I need to talk to you privately,” You told him in a terse undertone.

“That sounds serious,” He said, still smiling, though he looked concerned. “What about?”

“Your father came to visit me,” You replied.

The smile slipped and the color drained from his face. “Uh…” He said to his group, trying to laugh lightly. “Sorry, friends. Family business.”

They groaned in disappointment but thankfully dispersed. He took you by the hand and led you to the side of the Sciences building.

“What did he say to you? Was he angry?”

“No,” You said. “He told me he was pleased.”

Tua sighed in relief. “I’m glad. I was worried he was annoyed with my decisions. He said he wouldn’t interfere, but I’ve been concerned because I hadn’t heard from him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, folding your arms.

“What, that I’m a lesser god of an ancient religion that had almost died out, until the recent revival?” He said shrewdly. “Would you have believed me.”

“Your real head might have convinced me,” You replied. “The jackal?”

“Ah, yes,” He said. “I figured you had seen it the other day, but you didn’t press the issue, so I hoped you’d think it was a figment of your imagination.”

“Why didn’t you want me to know?” You asked.

“I did,” He said. “But I wanted to tell you myself, when the time was right.”

“When would the right time have been?”

He shrugged and looked at the ground. “I don’t know, I guess. I almost did, the other day, but I was nervous.”

“Your father told me something else,” You said carefully. “That you had been alone a long time. That your wife divorced you and that you had been pining for a long time. He also said…” You cleared your throat and swallowed. “That you had chosen me.”

He looked at you through his lashes, looking apprehensive. “Can… can we discuss this later? Somewhere private?”

“Come to my house after school. We’ll talk, okay?”

He nodded, looking self-conscious, turned, and jogged away, dodging his fan club and ducking into the Arts building.

Later that night, you paced in your living room, waiting for him to arrive. When you heard his car pull up, it took every ounce of willpower to not dash outside.

When he knocked, you opened the door to find him holding flowers and a gift bag.

Oh god.

“I figured if the cat was out of the bag, I might as well try,” He said. “Here.” He handed you the flowers, which were your favorites, and the bag. Inside was a book.

“Someone wrote a book about me,” He said. “Well, about me and my brothers. It was written while we were sleeping, so there’s a little missing, but I’m happy to fill in the blanks.”

“I don’t like that you hid this from me,” You said as you moved aside to let him in.

“I’m sorry,” He said. “I didn’t mean to hide it. Most people don’t look that closely. You’re the first person to see my true self.”

“That’s not entirely true,” You said. “I only saw an outline, a shadow.” You folded your arms. “So show me the real you. I want to take a good look.”

He took a deep, calming breath, and his body shimmered. His head elongated, black fur sprouted from his neck up, trailing down his spine and the middle of his chest. His normal modern clothes disappeared and the traditional gathered skirt of ancient Egypt appeared around his waist, ending at the knee. His eyes were silver and had markings around them. He wore no crown, but there were markings where a crown might have once sat.

“Is this what you saw?” He asked. Like his father, his mouth did not move when he spoke. Instead, his voice came from all around you.

“Something like it, yes,” You confirmed.

“Are you frightened?” He asked hesitantly.

“No,” You replied. “I’ve had time to come to terms with it. I think I’d be more freaked out if you had sprung it on me out of nowhere, maybe.”

“See? What else was I to do but keep it to myself?” He said in exasperation.

“I guess I see your point,” You admitted. “But no more secrets, okay? There’s nothing I hate more than people keeping secrets from me.”

“If that’s so, then… there’s one more thing I must confess,” He said slowly.

“I think I know what it is,” You said, bracing yourself. “But I’d like to hear you say it.”

He cleared his throat and stood tall. “I have become… enamored with you. I don’t know when it started, but it came to me quickly. Perhaps it was because you didn’t fall into worship of me, as others have done. As gods, it is humankind’s natural inclination to bend the knee to us, but you did not. Perhaps it was your patience with me and my multitude of questions. Perhaps it was the extent of your knowledge. Perhaps it was all of those things. But I care for you. I do not expect you to return my feelings, but I would wish to remain close to you, in whatever form you desire. Friend, companion, lover. It is your decision.”

You laughed a little. “That’s a hell of a declaration. I mean, you haven’t even kissed me yet.”

He looked startled. “Is that something you wish?”

“I don’t know.” You moved closer, considering him. “Are you any good at it?”

He took your hands. “Well… it has been some time. I may be out of practice.”

“Give it your best shot,” You challenged.

His lips curled into a smile, and he pulled you into an embrace. Tall as he was, he had to bend to reach your lips. His kiss was light, but experienced, and he lingered for many minutes. When he pulled away, you were seeing stars.

“How was my technique?” He asked playfully.

You shook your head to stop it from spinning. “More than adequate,” You chuckled. “You’re not quite as rusty as you claim.”

“Ah, that’s good to hear,” He said, and kissed you again.

You weren’t sure how the two of you made it into your bedroom, but suddenly there you were, the bed right next to you. You began shedding clothes and pulled at the belt that gathered the skirt at his waist. It fell into a pile at his feet, and he stepped out of it, lifting you into the air and setting you gently down onto the bed.

You began to shake a little. You hadn’t had a serious partner before and while this wasn’t your first time, the sex you’d had before hadn’t been as… significant as this was turning out to be. Were you going to fast? You’d known him for months but it was only in the last few days that you’d known he was carrying a torch for you. It had been a lot to process, and still was. Were you rushing into it?

He seemed to feel you tense. “Are you alright?”

“I…” You struggled to find the right words and not sound insulting. “I feel like we’re moving to quickly? I’m not even sure how I feel, and we’re already in bed with each other. I just… feel…”

“Rushed?” He said. “It’s alright, I understand. This was a lot to lay on you at once. We can stop.”

“That’s just it, I don’t know if I want to stop. I don’t know if I want to keep going. I don’t even know for sure how I feel about you, or the situation. I feel really overwhelmed.”

“It’s alright,” He said. “Why don’t we just lay here for a while and be still and give you some time to find your bearings. I can leave you to think for a while, if you’d like.”

“No. No, stay,” You said. “Just turn off the light and let’s be quiet for a little while. I just want to think.”

“Of course,” He said, reaching for the lamp switch. The two of you were bathed in darkness. He lay next to you, and you allowed him to put his arm around you. You put your head on his chest and listened to his slow heartbeat. It was strangely reassuring: you almost expected him to not have a heartbeat at all.

At some point you must have fallen asleep. He still lay with you, his body illuminated in the moonlight, slightly propped up on the pillows, watching you sleep. He smiled when he saw you rouse.

“Good evening,” He said quietly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to doze off,” You said.

“It’s no problem. I actually rather enjoyed it. You’re very cute when you’re asleep.”

“Don’t be silly,” You said, smacking his chest.

“I’m not!” He chuckled. “You make very adorable noises.”

“Hush, you!” You said, tickling his side.

“Hey, hey!” He exclaimed, squirming away. “Don’t do that!”

“Oh, is the big, bad god ticklish?” You asked playfully, dodging his arms and going in for more tickles. “Is he? Is he ticklish?”

“No!” He cried, trying to wiggle out of your grasp, whimpering like a puppy. “I shall retaliate if you don’t cease!”

“Oh yeah?” You taunted. “Whatcha gonna do about it, big man? Sniff me to death?”

“I may just!” He said, putting his muzzle in your ear and sniffling.

“Ah!” You squealed. “It’s so cold!”

“You like that?!” He said, tickling you back and pressing his nose to your neck. “Have some more, then!” He licked at your neck and shoulders. He grabbed your hands and held them above your head as you wiggled underneath him.

At some point, the mood shifted. The weight of his naked body on top of your naked body was exhilarating and made your heart race. His licks slowed and went from playful to deliberate and were interspersed with open mouthed kisses. He let go of your hands and touched your body. You instinctively pulled your knees up and wrapped them around his waist, holding him close by the back of his head and petting down the fur of his spine.

“Is this alright?” He asked heavily, breathing hard.

“Yes,” You whispered in reply. “Yes.”

Some more minutes of touching and kissing and licking later, he reached between the two of you and rubbed his knuckles on your clit, making you moan against his lips. He rubbed himself and you at the same time, then pushed the tip against your entrance, gently pushing himself inside of you. Your head fell back onto the pillow, your mouth wide open, your brows furrowing. He was thick and long, but no so that it was painful. You whimpered as he inched all the way inside and pulled out slowly, thrusting inward and pulling outward.

Slowly, but with gaining speed, your bodies moved together. Wordlessly, he flipped you so that you were on your stomach and pulled you toward him, reentering you and thrusting vigorously, while you gripped the sheets desperately, crying out in pleasure. You bit the pillow and shut your eyes as you felt the ecstasy well up in you, your inside walls clenching and contracting. He huffed and grunted above you, gripping your hips as your bodies smacked together over and over.

You could feel beads of his sweat dripping onto your back as he sped up again, groaned loudly, and spilled himself into you, gushing out with each jerk of his hips against your body. When he was spent, he withdrew and fell sideways as to not crush you. You lay on your stomach for a few moments, allowing yourself to catch your breath and cool down, before turning over and sliding into his arms. You’d change the sheets tomorrow.

“I hope this means you accept me,” He said sleepily.

“I always accepted you,” You said. “I just wasn’t sure what I wanted my role to be in all this. I’m still not sure. I think starting with a date might be nice.”

“Of course,” He said. “Anything you want. I am your humble servant, at your beck and call.”

“You’re not my servant,” You said firmly. “And I’m not yours. We’re partners or we’re nothing at all.”

“I understand,” He said, turning on his side. “So, my partner, where would you like to go for this date?”

“I don’t know,” You said. “This’ll be your first date on the mortal plane, won’t it? Do what you love to do: research it.”

He laughed. “That sounds like fun.”

To get your own Monster Match, buy me a Kofi!

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Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Monster Match #Ancient Egypt #Egyptian God #Duamutef #Four Sons of Horus #one-halloween

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imaginesmai · 4 years

Text

Mob!Tom Holland - Fawn (1)

Here is the first part of the series! This is inspired by Don’t play with fire , @peaceisadirtyword. It’s an amazing Ivar fic, take a look if you have time!

General summary (I suggest you reading it to know what’s going on)

Plot of the chapter: Richard’s idea is to bring down the Hollands, for them to take pity in you and for you to take information from them. No one expected Tom himself to come down.

WARNINGS: Harrasing, although it’s a plan and everyone knows this. I’m just gonna say this; Richard is a dick, from now to the end.

You were sure that you were going to start crying any second by then, and the expensive make up that Richard had gotten you for your birthday was going to be ruined. Your eyelashes were long and black, covered in mascara and with a long, thin eyeliner across your lid. There was also a faint fake pink blush on your cheeks, that along with the foundation, covered your hole face. Richard had insisted in you wearing the darkest lipstick you had, and that turned out to be a velvet colour that made your lips sticky. You couldn’t help running your tongue out every few seconds.

To make it even worse, your friend Lisa was long gone. Richard had also chosen who you went out with, since none of your friends were ‘slutty’ enough to call for attention, according to him. So he had chosen a girl you worked with, whose main worry was which panties could cover less of her ass.

You shifted uncomfortable in your seat on the counter, the tight dress making it nearly impossible for you to move your legs. You looked both of your sides wearingly, looking for the last thing Richard had brought to the club with you; a man, one of his co-workers, who would play as an harasser.

Not your dream Saturday night, but that didn’t mean Richard was a bad guy. He was just, a cop. Your boyfriend cop who was trying to haunt down the town’s mafia and, in his last resource, has decided to use you as a bait for the Hollands. It wasn’t as if you had agreed to it; but Richard was your boyfriend, you loved him, and you were doing it for him, because he had the awful thought about you not loving him enough.

The bartender spared you another glance, and you moved the ices on your drink. It tasted awful and burned your throat everytime you had to take a sip. Besides, it was making your head hurt and just be more nervous.

“Y/N”

You gripped the glass tightly and let your hair fall over your face, so that no one could see you talk with nothing. Your boyfriend’s voice didn’t make you feel any better, because you had the feeling that, if it came to the position, he would leave you to the wolves. Instead of answering, you hummed and searched in the crowd again.

A few feet away, you could see Lisa talking to some bulky guy with the nose crooked, and her two friends she had dragged along with different guys. You didn’t bother that time looking for the guy you were going to fish, because the Hollands were on the VIP place and no one could get there.

“Be ready, my guy is coming. And for the love of lord, stop looking like a wounded fawn. You’re supposed to be a little bit more loosened up”

“Well, excuse me for being scared” you hissed back. “I didn’t agree to this”

“I swear if you fuck this up I’m done Y/N. I trust you. Make me proud”

There was a moment of silence, and once more, you cursed your weakness in front of love. You had always been that way, too trusting with boys who promised you things they couldn’t give you. The Richard you fell in love had changed, and deep down you knew he was manipulating you. That didn’t mean you were going to stop him.

“Listen, you have to do this. For me” Richard sighed, and you discovered that you didn’t feel the remorse coming out of him anymore. “We’ll be discussing stupid films in no time. Love you, Y/N”

You didn’t answer, neither did he wait for you to do so. Instead, the communication broke and a guy appeared by your side. Without looking at him, you knew he was Richard’s friend. He was as tall as your boyfriend, broad and wish his hair cut short. That was where the similitudes ended; while Richard had lovely blue eyes, the man was eyeing you with greenish ones. Richard was pale by nature, his body full of freckles and moles, and the man had tanned skin with an arm full of tattoos.

His thick beard hid what you thought was the most disgusting smile you had ever seen, and by the general looks, he didn’t look as if he was going to suffer with his task. He shifted closer until his shoulder brushed yours, and placed his hand on the hem of your dress.

This is fine, this is planned

“Hey” he said, voice deep and too rough. “I’m Jacob. Do you have a name?”

“Y/N”

You didn’t know what you were supposed to do anymore. If seem the slutty girl you had tried to be since you arrived, or the angry one who was being molested. Your answer was nothing more than a whisper, and more than ever you felt like the wounded fawn Richard always called you out for.

You tried to think of something else to say; to you, he had already done enough to make you scream and run out of the club, but you also knew Richard wanted more. He wanted to create a reason for the Hollands to come down, because the brothers didn’t tolerate any perturbance in their club. While it seemed like the police department didn’t have any repair in playing dirty, the Hollands were clean in that aspect.

The hem of your dress rose up with Jacob’s fingers, and you shuddered. He closed in so that no one but you could hear him, and you decided it the moment to play the scared fawn.

“Listen, I know this isn’t ideal” he whispered, and gave you a small squeeze in your thigh. “But Richard really wants to catch them. Play a little on our side, come one”

Playing on their side meant creating a situation to call for the Holland’s attention, but you weren’t sure if you were capable of doing so. The stool you were sitting on moved dangerously when you tried to shift away, catching the bartender’s attention.

“Could you, um, step away?” you tried, and knew by Jacob’s hard eyes that you hadn’t done it right. “P-please?”

“Why, do I make you uncomfortable?” he said, and stepped the distance you had created between yourself. “I think you’re really pretty, Y/N”

“Um, thank you”

You tried moving again, but that only meant that you almost fell off the stool. Jacob took his chance and wrapped his arm around your waist, dragging you closer. The bartender, who watched with hawk eyes, turned around and said something to a guy who wasn’t facing you. Jacob pressed you against his side and chuckled loudly in your ear, making you cringe.

“I mean” Richard’s voice came again through the earpiece, and you wondered if Jacob could hear it too. “I was going for an angry look, for you to throw some punches at his already ugly face. But the pathetic look works too”

Jacob answered something in a low voice and gave you a pat on your side, as if you were a dog well behaving. It stung that Richard thought you were being pathetic when in reality all you wanted was to cry. You were uncomfortable, cold and you wanted to go home.

Your eyes became glossy as Jacob kept talking to Richard through his own earpiece, face hidden close to you so that it seemed that you were talking to each other. You felt your lower lip began to tremble, and without thinking much, you started to move in Jacob’s grip. It was stronger than what you had imagined, not even using your hands to push him got you out of his embrace.

Suddenly, you weren’t alone in your head anymore, and you were pushed towards Jacob even more.

“Oh my – Y/N!” Lisa screeched in your ear. “I can’t believe you got such a handsome guy with you! Hey, what’s your name?”

Jacob whole demeanour seemed to change, and you understood him. Lisa wasn’t the type of girl who passed unnoticed. Dark long hair and wide lips, she was all blue eyes. She was skinny, had a deathly body and could enamour someone just by her tongue. The man got stuck between doing his job or having fun.

“Uh – who are you?”

“I’m Lisa, Y/N’s friend. Are you single? Cause she’s not, but I am”

Lisa reached as if you weren’t there for Jacob which made you feel like a sandwich. Jacob declined her company gesturing towards you. But she kept talking. And talking. And a bit more talking, while Jacob just kept his ministrations without noticing you. His hand kept messing with the hem of your dress, and as much as you tried to keep it down, it seemed he wanted to see what colour your panties were.

Meanwhile, his other hand was moving up and down your side, hovering too close to your breast. You were sure the man wasn’t even thinking about you, more about the woman who was squeezing you from your right.

The first tear rolled down your cheek just as you whispered Richard’s name. In that moment you realized how little you mattered in the plan, as your communication line could only be opened when he wanted. It made you panic even more, knowing that if something happened you were on your own. Your squirming became more evident, and you dropped any act and became the scared thing you had always been.

The tips of your fingers became frozen and you mumbled another time Richard’s name, refusing to believe he let you in that situation without any chance of going back. He was a cop, surely he wouldn’t risk you, his girlfriend, that way. Your cries turned out into whining and sobbing, until a new voice appeared.

“Hey mate, I think you’re making her feel uncomfortable”

Three heads turned towards the intruder, and you swore the whole club went silent. The barista was cleaning an invisible stain a few inches away from you, looking at you with the side of his eye. Lisa swallowed down loudly and took some steps back, until she was lost in the crowd. And Jacob, the man who had been probably dragged in that by Richard’s too, was paling at a sickening speed.

Then, there was Tom. You had heard about him before, how it was unlikeable for him to come down from the VIP, as his younger brothers took care of that stuff. You had expected Harry or Sam, but not him. He was the oldest, the quieter and, to Richard’s opinion, the worst. That he had appeared probably made Richard jump in happiness, while Jacob didn’t seem so happy.

Tom wasn’t as tall as Richard. He was strong, not ripped like Jacob, and his buzz cut looked much better. His eyes were dark and brown, and you couldn’t say a thing about them, or him. Just that he was devilish handsome, and that made you want to run away.

“I wasn’t – she –“

Jacob let go of you as he stumbled over the words, and you almost fell down. It was like smacking against a wall, because your fall was stopped by another body. Looking up, the curls were enough to identify Harry, one of the twins. He had one lollipop on his mouth, rolling it lazily and staring at Jacob with a small smirk.

You realized there were a bunch of people around you that you didn’t know. A big, black guy who was covering most of the view, another blonde and two more. Harry pushed you slightly with his body until you were steady again.

“You weren’t making her uncomfortable?” Harry snorted with a laugh. “You’re calling my brother a liar? Dude, that’s not nice”

“No!” Jacob turned around to plead with his eyes to Harry. “I didn’t mean –“

“Then you were making her uncomfortable” Harry teased Jacob again, clearly enjoying how the latest was sweating and panicking.

Jacob looked ready to faint on the spot, and you felt bad for him. He was probably another part of Richard’s plan, and he had been kind enough to know that you didn’t want to do so. Tom was still looking at him his eyes emotionless as Jacob made some pathetic excuse. If he had to talk for another second, you were sure he would just combust or blurt out the entire cover.

Harry rounded the stool and planted himself in front of Jacob; even if the twin was much shorter and had to look up, Jacob hit the back of the counter in an embarrassing movement. And you just stood there, frozen and not knowing what to do. You looked again at Tom, who was still as expressionless as before.

In part, it made you mad. That he would just stay there while his brother did all the job. That he didn’t even attempt to show any emotion. It was as if he was watching a game, and you would have preferred rage or enjoyment, much like Harry. In your life, you hadn’t been the most mouthy girl. You were the girl who sat back and let the others do the job.

But a sudden adrenaline rushed through your body like fire, and your mouth moved faster than your brain.

“He hasn’t done anything” you blurted out. “You should – leave him alone. Please”

For the second time, the club seemed to shut down around you. The boys that had been covering the scene turned around for a second and Harry let out a loud, echoing laugh. Jacob was the one crying then, although you weren’t that far from doing so. As if he was underwater, you heard Richard screaming through the earpiece.

But then, Tom looked at you and raised a brow, and you knew you were in for more than one night.

Want to know more about me? Here is my Masterlist! Feedback is always appreciated!!

Tom Holland/ Peter Parker taglist:

@delicately-important-trash

@lexxxistrips

@smilexcaptainx

@aikaterrina

@zalladane

@gypsystuf (since you didn’t answer me, I just put you on the general taglist. Let me know if you want to change!)

Tom Holland Fawn taglist:

@averyfosterthoughts

@killerqueenvibes

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timexistsnow · 4 years

Text

my baby (oh my pup)

Chapter 2: i lie to myself (it's better for you)

Techno takes care of the pup. Complications arise.

Techno woke better than he had in weeks. That wasn’t to say his back was sore, he never slept curled on his side, used to passing out in a chair by his books. But, still, for once, he woke up naturally and not out of fear. Not out of necessity. The window behind him showed the sun nearly halfway up, oh, wow, he had slept for nearly ten hours. Techno stretched out, his hooves poking out of the woolen blanket.

A grumble escaped from under the blankets. Techno screeched internally, he forgot about the pup. She must be annoyed at the loss of warmth… Too bad, Techno had things to do. Poking her to make her move was a bad idea as it turned out: she bit at his fingers, or at least Techno found out once he threw the blanket away at the sharp pain in his poking hand. Once exposed, she glared at him and… didn’t let go. Ummm. Techno blinked and looked away. Sighing, he lifted his hand up until she was forced to release him.

“We’ve got things to do, sorry, kiddo,” Uh, kiddo, yeah, he definitely meant to say that. Shaking that off along with the blanket, he waited for the pup to scooch out of the bed before he followed. His cloak slithered out of the bed, falling to the floor. Letting out a squeal, the pup picked it up and fastened it around themselves, trailing like a wedding dress. Techno let her and got out a spare cloak of his own. The ladder was beginning to become a nuisance, being forced to carry her everywhere. But Techno still scooped the pup up once more and brought her back to the table.

Her snout was looking much better, but he still felt it necessary to top it off with one more potion. With this much time in between, she wouldn't get sick. He unscrewed the cork and handed it over. A hooved hand reached in- “Wait, no just drink it-” and it was too late, her chunky fingers were doused. Why? Why was she like this?

She grimaced at the taste this time- healing was supposed to be good, it’s glistering melon flavored, literally made of gold-, but her hand was licked clean and the bottle was replaced with a baked potato. She made a grabby hand at Techno, though, looking rather cross at him. Techno paused, a golden carrot halfway to his mouth. Techno rolled his eyes, “Come on, you had one yesterday!”

Grabby hands once more, Techno couldn’t resist it: he placed a carrot on the table, just out of her reach. That didn’t stop her as he had hoped, she scrambled out of her seat and onto the tabletop. Techno grabbed back the carrot, not amused.

“No,” he ground out.

Standing on the table, the pup squealed. He shook his head, it was his house, she needed to learn some manners.

The man held the potato just out of his reach. The rope snapped taut when he lunged forward desperately, wrenching his snout back. Now collapsed on the cobbled floor, Techno squealed, he was so hungry.

“You’ll get it after… I promise,” that seemed to calm her down, sliding off of the table and back into her seat. Techno was getting tired of standing. Well, it didn’t matter that much, she would be leaving… today, actually. As long as Techno got her real clothes- which meant going into the village- and didn’t dawdle.

They finished their breakfast and the pup got her carrot. Tragically, the taste of this gold didn’t seem to bother her. Fine, it was clothing time.

Getting her loaded onto Carl wasn’t as hard as Techno had imagined it to be, the pup whispered something like, “Skinny. Hoglin,” and grasped onto his mane. At the clank of Carl’s armor, she startled, one of her hands knocking against the diamond, “Bad.”

“It’s diamond?”

She nodded, “Bad.” Offering no more context, she went back to playing with Carl’s mane.

Techno wrapped one arm around her, securing her in place as he snapped Carl’s reins. He stayed under a trot, not wanting to risk the pup. Breathing in and out, in and out, Techno closed his eyes for a moment. He didn’t really have a personal vendetta against villagers, they just unsettled him, that’s all. No other reason to not have done many efforts in establishing trades.

“We’ll pay you back! Just give us the loan, man. It’s like any other trade. So what if it's a piglet, they all die in the end either way, natural or not!”

No. Not now.

Unmounting and helping the pup down to the snowy ground, Techno scanned for a family nearby. Villagers were usually nice, but it helped to find the right kind of villager first. There, an adult talking to a child, both wearing new winter gear. That would mean they had some spare, old clothing.

Techno set his shoulders and approached the pair. “Um… Hellooo,” wow, this was awkward, “Would you like to trade?”

The villager took it in stride, even as their child ran off, “Oh, don’t mind him, he just wanted to play, heh heh herm,” They laughed, paling at the sight of Techno’s axe. Techno’s lip curled, his cloak was blowing in the wind and he nudged it to show his sword as well. “What would you like to trade?”

“I need clothes for a child, her size,” He gestured to the pup clinging to his leg.

The villager showed his teeth, more of a grimace than a smile. Techno swore he heard something, “Oh, heavens, he has offspring,” but was waved forward before he could contemplate it. They were led to a chapel, close to where Techno had entered the village. Inside, there was a chest, similar to the one Techno had in his attic by his bed. “This is where we store our spear clothes, I’m sure something will fit. It is tradition to donate-,” The villager looked Techno up and down, “Actually, you shouldn’t worry about it. Please, help yourself. And leave.”

The pup stepped forward and leaned into the chest, pulling out different garments. She found a hat brimmed with wool and tugged it over her ears. It fit alright, a little tight. Her ears might be a little too squished, Techno thought, he would have to make a new one or adjust that one.

Peering over the piglin, he studied each garment that the pup discarded. Two coats, one pair of trousers, a dress, and a single mitten. All of those would fit decently. The dress was the only thing suitable for the Nether as it was the thinnest, but it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea to have spare. Techno nodded at his bounty, yeah, that seemed reasonable.

Right as they were about to leave, Techno spotted something. It was a little dropbox that read “Donations welcomed and expected,” oh, that was what the villager was going to tell him to do. He wasn’t required to give them anything, they should be thankful that he didn’t take the clothes right off of a child’s back. They did not deserve anything from him.

Techno stalked over to the box and wrenched it open. He stumbled back with the force, causing the pup to oink. She was looking over at him, nearly swamped by the pile of clothes she was carrying. “Gold?”

Techno sighed and looked down into the box, nope just a few emeralds and some iron nuggets. This was pitiful.

“No. I was just… looking.”

The piglin tried to peek in but wasn’t tall enough, “No. Take?”

Techno shook his head, he had more than enough at home and there wasn’t a reason to do this. Not a good one. “Let’s just go home. Get you dressed.”

Techno didn’t bother to wash the clothes, they smelled good enough. The newness of them seemed to satisfy the pup, not a single complaint about them being second hand. Then again, she loved the cloak and that wasn’t even hers.

Thankfully, the dress was close to her size. The light cyan of it didn’t exactly match the red cloak which bothered Techno a bit. He had cared about his clothes ever since he had started to wear them. And, style, duh.

Once she wiggled her way into the dress and the cloak was fastened around her shoulders- okay this was ridiculous, he needed to make the thing shorter. He… might do that. Only if he had time.

The clothes were packed into his chest of clothes and they went down the ladder into the common room. Edward the enderman vwooped from his boat by the fire, maybe he liked her outfit. That made one of them.

The pup tilted her head and jiggled the boat, making Edward gargle. Techno grabbed her hand, “Hey, leave him alone.”

“Why?” She reached back for the boat, “Bad.” He tugged her back.

“Edward did nothing, he’s a good guy.”

“Good?” she looked baffled.

“Yeah, not all hostile mobs are inherently bad.” And not all peaceful mobs are inherently good. “Edwards vibin’, let him be.”

“V- Vibin’? What?”

Techno shrugged, leaning back against the wall door. “Vibing is like relaxing. Or feeling good. Vibin’s a good thing.”

She hummed back and waved at Edward, not making eye contact, “Edward. Vibin’. Good.” Edward vwooped at her, happy purple particles seeping from his being. His block was still with him, grasped in spindly fingers.

Thinking about it, “If Ranboo is half enderman, does he do the block thing as well?” The pup blinked at him, but Edward vwooped twice, maybe he was a cousin?

“Who. Rambo?”

“Ranboo, and he’s a guy who lives far away. Looks a little like Edward.”

The pup squealed, startling Techno and the enderman, something in piglish. It was the same thing that he had been called by the piglins before they were killed by his sword. She repeated it and added, “Ranboo. Me.” Did she know him?

“What?” Techno didn’t get it. The word was always said in anger when piglins charged. But it was also only said to people and not hoglins. They had called her it when they were hunting her. “Ohhh, you mean Ranboo and you are that?” Whatever that was.

She shook her head, “Say. Not. Understand.”

Techno’s brain hurted. He took a wild guess “They call you it but they aren’t correct?”

She did a little happy dance, hopping from hoof to hoof, “Ranboo. Enderman... First! Me,” she pulled at her ears and tusks, “First.”

She was a hybrid, of course! “You’re a half piglin, half human, aren't you?” He was getting it, finally. The word must be some kind of insult or slur for humans.

“No.”

Or not.

“Most. Piglin.”

“And the piglins didn’t like the other part.” He got it. Mostly. Probably.

She didn’t offer anything else. Just toddled around the room and climbed into her chair. Food time. Techno didn’t fight her on the carrot thing. He had other priorities.

According to her, she wasn’t a normal hybrid- half and half- like Fundy or Schlatt, more like Ranboo (who she somehow knew?), who was an Enderman primarily and something second. Hybrids like Ranboo and the pup were rare, as most intelligent people were somewhat human, why: he didn’t know. When looking at the server as a whole, that held true, only Ranboo, the pup, and Techno himself being the exceptions- as far as he knew. Techno was not a hybrid.

“We’ll make it into something cool, this time won’t we? That, or we’ll kill you on accident, but ‘tis the consequence of science!”

The pup interrupted his thoughts by poking him with her carrot. “You. Word. Like. Ranboo?” Did he have a word like Ranboo? A name?

He… never told her his name. Why was he like this… “Techno… just Techno.”

She mouthed it out and gave it a shot, “T- Teh, Teh-chno. Techno?”

“That’s it!” he smiled, “What’s your word?”

She quirked her head, “No,” and munched on her carrot. Techno blanched, he never asked her name and all this time she never even had a name. What? Who raised this kid… no one. Ah. “Is. Bad?”

“That you don’t have one: bad. But not you, you’re good.” His voice garbled at the end, making him wheeze and gasp. It’d been a while since he’s spoken with the voices.

She wasn’t fazed by it, finishing her carrot. “Give,” her hands went grabby at Techno, “Word.”

Oh, no, Techno wasn’t prepared to name her. Everyone knew that curse: name it and you can’t let it go. It would be- no he could get away with this. Just name her and put her straight through the portal, simple. He couldn’t leave her nameless, though, that would be pathetic.

Decision made, he pushed himself off of the wall and waved at her to follow him outside. In his haste, he forgot her size, so when she started down the front steps one at a time, he scooped her up. She patted his face in thanks.

“We’ll give you a name on the way back to the Nether, how’s that?” He didn’t bother getting Carl, he needed the extra time.

She pushed against his chest, getting a full view of his face. Her lip curled and she squealed, “No!”

“Did you not want a name? I thought you asked for one.” Yeah, he remembered correctly, she did ask.

“No. Nether,” she insisted. Oh. Well, they’d get there either way, so:

“How about we focus on the name,” that succeeded in distracting her, the pushing ceased. Her little legs wrapped around his torso and her tusks dug into his chest. “Meridith, uh, Lucy, Willow. Maybe… Harriet or Kim?” At each suggestion, the tusks dug harder and harder into his shirt. Soon it would rip, if he didn’t hurry up. “Come on, give a guy some help.”

“Like. Techno.” Okay, that narrowed it down. Six letters? Ending in no? Starting with T… that was probably it.

“How about… Tasha? That’s a nice name, it ends with a vowel like mine, has a T, is short for a longer name…”

During his rambling, the pup had been mouthing out the word, tusks pushing less and less as she leaned back against his arms. Now in his face, she oinked, looking rather happy. “You wanna be Tasha?”

“Me. Word. Tasha!”

It was my, but still, “That’s good, little pup. Little Tasha.” Great. Now he was getting soft.

And now he had to be tough, as the portal was only a chunk away. Poor kid. This was going to be rough. “Tasha, it’s time to go home now.”

“No!”

Techno closed his eyes, “Tasha, please-”

“No! Bad. Place. Me,” she squealed out the piglish insult, “In. Nether!” Tasha smashed her spindly limbs against Techno, her eyes starting to water. “Me. Tasha. With. Techno!” She was full sobbing now.

And.

Techno was tearing up. No. No. he should be The Blade: ruthless and a killer. A piglin had no sway over him. But Tasha… He should never have named her! He was so stupid, crying over a stupid baby with a stupid name that he was stupid enough to give.

He blamed the voices. He blamed them for making him turn around. He blamed them for leaving the portal, piglin in hand. He blamed them for making him care so very much.

Techno- he couldn’t do this to the pup. Tasha would get mauled the moment he left her alone, the piglins would have no mercy. And her knowing that she could be free of the piglins, that she was once free of the piglins would make it so much worse. Techno was too far in, he couldn’t take it back, not after this.

But… still. He was a killer of orphans, Tasha didn’t exactly fit in his routine.

So as he walked them back home, to their home, he promised himself that he wouldn't be controlled over the voices. He promised himself, he promised Tasha that she was just staying a little longer, until someone else came that could care for her better.

He promised as he sat down in his library chair all tucked away in the attic. As Tasha snuggled down, her crying still not stopped. And as he shushed her and gave her a carrot to chew on: he won’t get any more attached. He can’t let himself get any more attached, not if he wants Tasha to live any better than she did in the Nether. No matter how good it was now, it could always get worse.

Techno rubbed her back, the sobs turning into soft whimpers. He slipped a book out from the shelf and opened it to a random page. It was the Art of War, something he’d read a thousand times cover to cover. Tasha didn’t turn around to read with him, but she listened and felt his voice rumble through his chest.

“You’ll be alright, Tasha,” he whispered, the pup already drifting off. Techno let his head fall back, making a clunk on the wooden chair. They’d be alright. As long as Techno kept his promise.

Simple.

#technoblade #technodad au #timexistsnow #ao3 #my writing #my baby (oh my pup)#mcyt #dream smp

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anyu-blue · 3 years

Text

Hey I'm rambling about stuff in my own head again. Trigger warnings apply- specifically those dealing with therapy, dysphoria, self harm, relationships, and stuff like that. :T

I don't really understand it... For quite a while there I was fine. Content even to just let things slide. I think it was because I felt secure where I was (with Lon) and blocked out a lot that doing therapy has brought screaming to the front of my mind... But I could be wrong and I feel confused and conflicted again.

At one point (before Lon) I had settled down when my previous therapist basically gave me permission to call myself androgynous. She told me it was okay- if that's what I felt, then I could use it.... I felt very relieved and much less ruffled. There was still a nag in the back of my head, but it was quiet enough I buried it... For the most part...

Getting with Lon brought quite a few forward and I insisted he understand I am/was not a girl. He also seemed content and sweet and more than accepting... Until he wasn't.. looking back.. Lon said a LOT of weird or off things he either never came through with or downright switched on.. especially near the end. EVERYONE in his family and friend group assumed and pushed the 'girl' thing... And that nag got a little louder..I pushed back (gently) reminding Lon with little things here and there that I wasn't... But still 'she' and overwhelming compliments on my feminity buried me under them. In the end... I know it was driving me crazy (literally) and probably Contributed more to the mess than I understood at the time.

But it also wasn't a push even.. just the assumption.. I believe that because right now my hackles are raised so high every time someone says 'she' to or about me I BRISTLE. I want to yell or (depending on who it is) quietly tell whomever is doing it to stop.. tell them they're wrong... Most aren't doing it maliciously, I know.. it's just what they see. I feel pressured or pushed. It's really weird and extremely uncomfortable. It's confusing too because.. I don't know... I can't see how they don't see me as different than 'girl'... Or heaven forbid 'WOMAN.'

*shudders*

My therapist and I are exploring the feelings around when these things are said to me... And she's proposed doing something about my anger and frustration like squeezing Something or something or just outright accepting it... Basically ANYTHING other than telling people my business... But the problem is, I've told her... I want to BREAK things.. I mean I don't... But I feel the urge to. To hit. To yell. To scream. To cry. To crush. To run. But I don't. In some ways I can't.... Squeezing Something when I'm angry hurts me. My grip is incredibly weak (always has been no matter what I've tried) and everything pops painfully. Or it pinches my skin and hurts... So I've developed a reflex to do the opposite of squeeze or hit things (which certainly hasn't helped the weakness issue lol)... And even if I do try to do those things.... It's never enough. I can't go and go and go like I want to. It just makes me madder. More frustrated. It's never satisfying or as releasing as People tell me it should feel. I just want more. And more and more and more. And in the end I'm usually left a sobbing mess that's completely spent, but still so mad and frustrated... Feeling those feelings even more. Sure I'm tired enough to pass out.. but I wake up.. and everything is still there.. usually coupled with depression because it's STILL THERE... And I couldn't get it out. I don't feel better or lighter or more free.. I feel heavier.. sadder... Worse. I used all that energy and nothing came of it.

And I don't understand!! I really don't. Why I'm never satisfied... Why I've always always been so angry... I was told I was an extremely cruel child.. I remember a little too.. I always wanted to act, but was pushed down.. and even when I did, it never felt good or like it was enough.. I swear I could tear an entire house down by myself with nothing but my own two hands and I STILL would want to do more.

...

And I'm feeling all of these things with gender...

Tevs said to me she thinks I 'want to be a boy because our mother always wanted a boy and [I] always wanted her approval.' ... I can't deny that MAYBE it had an influence on me. MAYBE...

But... I don't WANT that witch's approval anymore. I don't care about her distain either. I don't want her ANYWHERE NEAR my life, it's MINE not hers.. and I'm really pissed off no one can seem to take the damn hint I am 110% DONE with her and anything to do with her. She HAS a son to raise now. And a loving husband who had her adopt him. And good friends and whatever else she has in her life. I am OUT of it. And I want to be out of it forever.

.. it feels demeaning when Tevs says that it's all from that to me.. she's done it more than once, and of course I'm upset by it every time.

... I just want to be me... And every time someone looks at me and tells me I am beautiful.. or pretty.. or a wonderful woman... I just want to cry... To go hide.. I feel so ashamed.

...

Here's the thing.. I AM attractive. I AM beautiful, hot, resilient, kind... Just about everything you'd associate a woman with... I was walking to another area in my workplace just tonight and caught a glimpse of myself as I did so in our big windows... The way I walk. My silhouette. Everything about me... Is envious.

I'm not saying these things because I'm vain.. I'm saying them because if I compare my body and gait and everything to the People alongside me- even the guests I see coming in- I can see it as clearly as everyone else who tells me I'm this pretty thing does... I'm not sickeningly skinny and I'm not fat. I'm not super tall nor short. I'm right in the middle with an ass and legs People tell me they'd kill to have... If I were to wear proper bras, I have a chest they'd love too- not too heavy and not unnoticeably small... But I wear ones that squish my chest so it looks like I have less (and that might be why I have such glaring problems with my ribcage sliding out of place all the time. I'm crushing everything XP).. take a guess as to why I started doing that...

I can't hide my hips... Nor my legs... I've got cute feet too. And hands... So dainty and fine- just enough bone and plump in the right places... It's no wonder I am the envy of my poor (adopted) cousin desperate to be a model and a star.. poor girl. She's beautiful in her own right, but her genes have made it so hard for her to fully dive into her confidence... My dad told me we are rivals and have always been... And my heart breaks for her because I'm not even trying... I want her to succeed!! To be the one in the spotlight!! I want to stay in the background so she can shine... But I always get pulled forward and somehow she's in my shadow (despite being taller than me).. and she can't stand to be near me.. even when I am trying my hardest to let her lead or to say things kindly or in her favor.. I can't seem to win... So I don't really have a relationship with her at all.. Though I really wanted to.

When I don't hide.. when I do 'dress up'... There's so many compliments. If I run into ANYONE from school when I do... *Gags* the compliments, disbelief, and shock... I remember EVERY prom... People not knowing who I was... Or being shocked if they did recognize me straight out. All 4 years... And it made the ostracization worse. My class was AFRAID of me. I was this shy/frumpy (also angry) little thing.. but I still remember being stared at changing after gym whenever there wasn't a stall for me to hide in.. I personally at the time thought it was because I was so ugly/fat they couldn't help themselves... Going through everything in therapy.. I realize it was because I was so skinny under all my baggy clothes.. and really pretty under the acne/hood/ugly glasses. I wasn't bullied just because I was smart/loved to learn... I was a threat and didn't even know it. The envy of my peers. And it's so sad.

I did wish to be like them.. so confident. So able to fake it. To do my makeup and wear cute things and to feel right somehow... But I never did. I tried.. but couldn't stand the clothes.. or the comments about my ass... Or all the things they focused on whenever I came close to succeeding. I couldn't seem to get it right. I just wanted to hide whenever I stood out... It never felt right.

It got to the point I was AFRAID to wear dresses and skirts. Terrified. Everything felt wrong with the world when I did. I felt like I was faking Something. Like I was purposefully being awful... Lying..

I wear some now because I was cheered up by the idea of genderqueer people and some men finding comfort in wearing them and in some ways them becoming more acceptable by all genders... Plus they're reeeally comfy sometimes. And it's nice to just be able to throw on a dress with built in pads during the summer heat wave than to worry about all those damn layers XP ... And I recognize that no one is going to question me or think I'm lying when I wear any... They don't see what I have in my head.

I do recognize that some of this stuff has trauma tied to it... And I'm confused because I don't know where the trauma ends and I (my own genuine thoughts) begin... I was not treated kindly at home- even outright being called ugly in a derogatory manner.. granted I now know those comments mostly came from a pedophile disinterested in me and the pedophile's own manipulation of my mother and her family's opinions (gaslighting and twisting to where I really was the horrible child in all ways) AND I know that I am not neurotypical which caused some other unfortunate treatments in and around my home.

I don't know where to go with it... Or why I'm so viscously against being called a girl or a woman. Why it's setting me off so bad right now. I just know that it is... And for some reason every time I'm alone or not really thinking of it... I don't think of myself as one. Not at all. And when I'm reminded.. I'm often startled by it and confused and need to process the information for a second... Despite 'being' one for all of my life... I've continually had the problem I don't expect what I see in the mirror either.. especially since puberty.

If I could show you what I think/feel most of the time... I think this would be the closest I could get- just make the chest straighter/flatter... It bugged me to no end to add that detail in and still does to this day, but I was going off the model (me lol). I don't feel like Anything... But I want to be something.. and that Something is... Not this. Not this...

But where do I go? What do I do?

I'm terrified of surgeries... I don't want massive scars (not that I mind scars- in fact I LOVE them. They're so cool!! But I don't want people to KNOW you know? Not that. Not Something that is such a private matter... I don't want to believe or go after something for it to be wrong too... And I don't feel I can afford any of it anyway 😞 even if I did want to try or actually found the right one... I would be so depressed to never be able to reach my goal.. and I feel I've held myself back due to that fear too...

I know another reason I haven't tried anything or spoken up or anything is because I have this strange desire to pass on my genetic legacy. It is such a powerful urge I am TERRIFIED of losing the ability... People tell me about adoption all the time as a great option, and it IS a great option for the children... Because I would do ANYTHING for my own... But it's this terrible terrible feeling I wouldn't feel I could claim them as my own and it would leave something still empty inside of me and I wouldn't be as loving because of it and that kills me... It sounds terrible too!!

I would do almost anything to have my own child... When it comes to pain tolerance or body changes I know I would have the hardest time than most if I were to get knocked up.. but I have that thought that it would be worth it because they are MINE.

I've thought about egg donation.. because I feel it would make me feel better to know I succeeded in passing on the line to someone better off and worthy of having children... But I feel I have too many genetic issues or would be an undesirable candidate or I'd feel terrible if the child died and then I didn't succeed...

Lol I think of things oddly... And that makes me think I don't deserve to have children or donate too... Never mind the actual process XP boy... Complicated~

So I've never tried... I am also quite poor and know I would struggle to raise a child. Even just one. And if I were to have twins (as I'm the generation that is supposed to)... I have even more worries... And I don't want a child or children to grow up with the struggles I had or worse than I had like they likely would if I just went for it.

...

I knew I felt more sure when I was with Lon because he apparently wanted/wants kids too... And it was in the plan (Maybe. Maybe not. It's possible he was the one messing with my medication alarms and trying, but also possible he just wanted sex... Because he told me before he left that he thought he was infertile for a long time (and there's some pretty strong evidence to suggest he's got weak swimmers lol but I'm not going to divulge what that stuff is) so it may have been a lie all along... But I didn't know and felt assured and safe with that path at the time)...

*sigh*

Idk what to do... I know I'm messed up about it all.. and I know my knee jerks and feelings... But I don't exactly trust myself or my memory or my reasons... I am only human... And I feel so lost.

I know what I envy... Very much.. and what I would choose if I could... But... Life just doesn't work that way... And science is so stunted it likely won't in my lifetime.

*snort*

I feel the worst thing that my dad ever said to me was when I told him and his wife that I wasn't a girl... I don't remember if I told them I was neither or would prefer to be a guy... But I do remember my dad's response... He told me 'go ahead and you do you, but I want you to know that no matter what, you're always going to be my little girl. I just can't think of you any other way, because you are. You're my little girl.'

And I just... It struck me so badly (obviously, I still think about it)... And made my heart so heavy. I... Understand... To the extent I can... And I don't want to... Lose him because I can't accept that... But.. I feel like it's only pushed me to lose myself... To.. just stay. Take the 'easy' route. To 'accept' it (except we can see how well THAT'S going).

*sigh*

I don't know...

The only thing I do know right now is I have this fantasy about... Going away for a while. More or less disappearing for 5 to 10 years... And coming back... How I want to be/see myself... And seeing what everyone would think...

Tevs thinks I only want it because of trauma. Dad thinks I'm always going to be his daughter. Everyone else is so sure I am a woman...

And maybe they're right... (I mean TECHNICALLY lol I can't exactly argue with that 😂)... And I would be trying to let my 'good looks' and all that 'go to waste'...

...

If I could trade someone... 100%... I would. I'm a pretty/beautiful/attractive looking body... (My face is debatable lol but whatever)... I wonder how come am I not happy about it...

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #trigger warnings apply

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supertweetycherry · 4 years

Text

DIE HARD || [iii. Feeling Helpless]

—Pairings: BTS x OC

—Genre: BTS Mafia Au, Slight Fluff, Angst (a lot of it), Heartbreak, Thriller

—Ratings: 18+ | MA Content | R

—Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Alcohol, Mentions of Prostitution, Bad boy behaviour, a bit of Abuse and lot of angry screaming.

—Summary: She belong to them. They belong to her. It’s simple as that. Period.

—Word Count: 4.9k

Navigations -> Masterlist || MASTERPOST <<Part 1 || Part 3>>

Chapter 2 - Feeling Helpless

Ring. Ring.

A loud ringing noise echoed in the room as Yoona slept blissfully on her bed. Her dark hair sprawled all over her pillow, and her limbs carelessly spread across the bed. Her comforter was nearly off the edges while her body was bent in an odd angle.

Ring. Ring.

There it was again. That sound. It was followed by a buzz of vibration that shook her tummy.

“Ughh... stop!” She groaned out, but to her dismay, the sound continued to disturb her peaceful slumber.

Slowly opening one of her eyes, she looked at her surroundings and blinked. The room was flooded with the strong sunlight coming from her tall windows. She had to squint her eyes a bit, to see where she was. An empty alcohol bottle was digging into her side as she moved her heavy limbs around, trying to get some stretch in. Luckily, the bottle managed to roll away only to find her hand collide with something squashy.

“Wha—” She looked at her fingers to see a thin layer of white icing. Suddenly, her head swung to her right to see a squashed cupcake, coating the right side of her bed.

She groaned, again. It was sticking flat against her bedsheet, spreading its creamy substance all over her bed.

How the fuck did this even get here?

“This is why I should stop bringing alcohol in this house.” She muttered to herself, before pulling her body up to a sitting position. Her head was buzzing with a strong migraine and her tummy felt like she was gonna hurl any second now.

Ring. Ring.

That sound was back. Still in her dazed state, she reached out to the source of the ringing. It was lying on her tummy, vibrating in full speed. Surprisingly, she didn’t mind it. The thing was giving her a massage, who is she to complain?

“Hello?” Her own voice sounded scratchy and hoarse. Exactly how much of the crying did she do last night?

“Yuri!” Yoona flinched as the loud voice of the person nearly damaged her ear drums. It boosted up her oncoming migraine.

“Suzy?”

“Where the hell are you?! It’s 10am in the morning! Ji-Soo is going crazy with all of us. Do you have any idea what’s going on? Everything is—”

Yoona blinked blankly at the phone. Her colleague slash friend was still barking into the phone continuously without stopping. Yoona had already stopped listening when Ji-Soo was mentioned. After wasting away her birthday night in alcohol, Lee Ji-Soo was the last person that Yoona would expect to pop up. But, apparently she did... only in two minutes of waking up.

“—you were supposed to be here! Now, I’m overloaded with all the extra work. The news has also been—”

The 26 year old wondered if she should cut the phone or let her friend talk. The words stopped making sense to her a long time ago.

“—been raining down on us. You need to check the news and come straight to the building now! Something serious is happening. The whole building is in—”

“Suzy!” Yoona finally exclaimed, cutting her friend off. “I’m coming. Just please, stop shouting.”

The plea itself sounded like a strained groan.

“But—Fine! Check the news before you reach here. It’s chaos up here.”

“Okay.”

Yoona didn’t wait for a goodbye. She cut the call before her head could explode from her friend’s loud voice.

Suzy Bae. The only cutest ball but yet, the most reactive girl in Yoona’s life. She has been the only good thing in Yoona’s life for the past 4 years. The girl was only two years younger than her but still quite competitive. She reminded Yoona of her youngest lover, Jungkook. They both were quite reactive to situations and annoyed the hell out of her most of the time.

‘Aigoo... my chubby little princess looks so cute and fluffy in her poofy dress.’

Yoona shook her head. There’s no way she’s going down that memory lane again. Her resistance level is very close to zero. She needs to build her walls back up to their previous glory so they won’t get smashed down by her uncle’s family again.

Still cursing her growing headache, she quickly cleaned the spoiled bed and got herself ready for work. Her bruises were still raw which just made her day even more worst than any other day she has ever had.

“Alright..” She said as she stared at her screwed up reflection in the giant mirror. Her eyes are definitely puffy and red from all that crying she did last night. There are dark circles under her eyes but nothing major. Makeup could fix that in a second. And her skin colour looked dull, but again, that’s how it is on her bad days.

“Okay, Day 1 of being a 26 year old... I can do this.”

And with that, she did. Within a span of one hour, she was done and ready to head off to work. Quickly pressing over her fine, collared white shirt and black skinny pants, she left the room. Turning on the stove for some breakfast, she let the TV play on a news channel. Suzy’s demands were still ringing in her head.

‘Watch the news.’

She wondered what was so important on the news that made Suzy turn into such as hyper-screaming mess.

“—Now, with the recent reports coming in, the infamous notorious criminal gang ‘Bangtan’ has struck again in South Korea—”

Hold up. Her hands stopped in mid-air, the egg only inches away from being cracked open. Did she hear it correctly? They said ‘Bangtan’ right? As in the ‘Bangtan’ gang that has been terrorizing the world ever since they have surfaced two years ago?

Turning the stove off, she headed to her living room where a middle aged women gave out the latest news on the screen. She turned up the volume so she could hear more clearly.

“—A women named Jung Jae-hee, the acting executive director of Lee Enterprise in South Korea, was recently found dead in her house. It has been only few hours since her discovery and already, the reports indicates that the women was tortured and brutally beaten to death before a close family member discovered her corpse. The local law enforcements ruled out the death to be a vengeful murder by the notorious gang ‘Bangtan’. Clear evidence haven’t been identified to support this claim yet but an inside source reported the similar markings on the women’s body has been seen before in other victims that comes under the wrath of Bangtan—”

Yoona narrowed her eyes at the name. Bangtan. The name itself sounded familiar to her but also at the same time, foreign. The gang is a notorious group of killers that have been dominating the world ever since they surfaced two years. They weren’t just a terror in Korea, their gang name has been a widely known name around the whole of Asia and up here in the states too. Their activities goes deeper than just normal drug smuggling, money laundering or loan sharking.

Yoona didn’t know much about them but, she knew enough to stay away from their paths.

She was just about to shake it off is when a thought struck her.

Jung Jae-Hee. Why does that name sound so familiar? Wait—Isn’t she the... Shit!

She gasped. Oh boy, no wonder Suzy was a screaming mess. Forget the food, she needs to get to the office. Now!

********

“This doesn’t seem good.” Yoona said aloud as they stared at the chaos in the office. Every employee was scrambling into different directions with no regards to each other.

“Ya think?!” Her friend retorted from beside her. “Our old boss just got killed in her home country. It’s obvious everyone will be in a panicking state.”

Yoona glanced back at Suzy in worry. Her beautiful friend was glaring at everything in sight. With her long, silky black hair up in a loose pony tail and long strands of bangs covering her forehead, the girl looked livid and cute all at the same time. She was dressed in a proper pristine full sleeve blouse with a black pencil skirt, complimenting her petite figure. Pretty different to what Yoona was wearing.

A small sigh escaped Yoona’s lips. “I don’t know what to say...”

“Well, I know one thing. I don’t think I’m ever going back to South Korea again.” Suzy declared, her lips pouting in sadness. “Too many murders for my poor heart to take on. I’m a heart patient you people!”

Yoona chuckled at her friend’s antics.

“YURI!”

Yoona jumped at the new voice, her head already ringing with the high octanes in the voice.

‘Yuri’ was her mother’s maiden name that she adopted when her real identity as ‘Lee Yoona’ was erased. She joined the family of ‘Kim’, making her ‘Kim Yuri’, and became the orphaned, petty, poor girl who used her cunning ways in bed to get a job at Lee Enterprise. It was horrifying and disgusting that people actually believed this kind of shit these days.

“That is not good.” Suzy commented as Yoona peeked at the person who has called her out.

Daniel. Fucking Daniel.

“Shit, it’s him. Run!” And so they did.

But like they say that trouble finds you at every corner, Yoona’s worst trouble found her too.

Lee Ji-Soo.

The ultimate prodigy of the wicked witch of the west. And also, her little cousin.

The girl was the second child of Lee Sung Woo and one of the biggest tormentor in Yoona’s life. She was only few years younger than Yoona, almost at Suzy’s age, and already has a wicked ego. She was tall and naturally pretty. Her mind was sharp but also at the same she was easily influenced and angered which causes her emotions to take over her hazy mind. Yoona had tried to connect with Ji-Soo on so many different levels, but the bossy, obnoxious girl was never interested.

“Ji-Soo...” The girl was standing near Yoona’s desk. She was dressed in the most whitest clothes Yoona has ever seen on her. It spilled with fake purity. Even the Chanel earring in her left ear couldn’t match to it.

Suzy, who had already seen a storm brewing in Yoona’s cousin’s eyes, had already ducked out of sight to avoid the hissing serpent. Daniel, the person they were running from, had stopped too and had turned back around to the way he came from.

Ji-soo’s anger is known to be a legend in this building. No-one was a match for her. Anyone who dares to come across Ji-soo’s wrath, is burned alive. And right now, Yoona seems to be right in the middle of it.

“Where are the files?!” She demanded, face contorting into anger as everyone else around them stopped and stared. Why wouldn’t they? The young girl was one of their bosses.

It’s ironic how Yoona is treated as a mere servant in her own father’s company. It was named after her family name. The Lee Enterprise. It wasn’t just a business. It was an empire built by her great grandfather through blood, sweat and tears. It was passed along to her own father who pulled the company to new heights with strong alliances and strong values. But after his death, it was now run by her uncle.

Since, she’s practically dead to the world, she could never inherit her father’s company again. It’s something she regrets now.

“Answer me!”

Yoona looked at her cousin in confusion. Did something happen?

“What files?”

“Files for Aria, Yuri!”

Yoona wacked her brain at the familiar name. Aria... Aria... ARIA Resort & Casino!

“You mean... the casino?”

“Yes!” She was being impatient.

“I don’t know where the files are.” Yoona shrugged. It wasn’t under her job to take care of such important files. She was just a mere personnel support in the office. A little servant trying to find her way in this building. Even though she has a high-class business degree and masters under her name, she will always be treated as Kim Yuri, the little spawn of a dead whore.

“They were on your desk!” She screeched.

“No, they weren’t.”

“Lier!”

“Honestly Ji-Soo, I have the lowest clearance in this building. Do you really think I will have such important files in my grip? Aren’t they supposed to be in your father’s office?”

ARIA Resort & Casino is a luxury building dedicated to its given name and located in Las Vegas, Nevada. Its only an hour away from here by plane. The huge, mega complex building was originally owned by an American entertainment industry which turned out to be another counterpart of Kim Industries. But after that tragic night, and the death of all Kim’s heirs, the ownership was lost. Not only for the casino but also for many other assets that Kim industries had owned. In the end, the casino was passed around in many different hands before landing into the hands of Lee Enterprise. And for the past six years, it has been her uncle’s play baby.

“They’re not in his office.” This time, Ji-Soo’s voice was laced with worry. But then, the anger returned. “I know you have them.”

Yoona sighed. She rubbed her head in irritation.

“No. I don’t have them.”

“Don’t lie to me, Yuri!” The younger screeched, grabbing Yoona’s arm in the process. The older winced at the sudden pain that came from the bruises on her arm. “You don’t want me to tell Omma about this, do you?” She threatened with small wild smile.

Yoona glared at the younger women. That girl knew how much her mother despises Yoona and would love to beat her up at any given chance.

“Ji-Soo...” another voice interrupted them.

Both of them turned to the new voice and gulped. The voice belonged to a tall boy with dark golden brown hair locks, and a piercing look that instantly broke the skin-to-skin contact they had with each other.

Yoona had to ball up her hands into little fists to avoid feeling scared. The tall boy was her older cousin. He was dressed in a tight blue suit that covered every inch of his body. The expensive Goldmark watch on his right wrist was sparkling as the long scarf in his neck complimented his looks.

To others he might seem ethereal, but to her, he was pure evil.

“Tae-min oppa...” Ji-Soo called out to her older brother.

Yoona avoided looking at the man. She unconsciously covered her right arm, where the result of his tight grip on her from two days ago showed.

“Leave her.” He said, flicking his hair to the side. His slightly bulky body looked lean and relaxed. “Come. We have somewhere important to be.”

The man’s voice was laced with sweetness and seemed calm. That’s what scared Yoona the most. His calm demeanour that could change into something completely different in a simple second.

“But—”Ji-Soo didn’t dare to continue. Her brother’s eyes had slightly narrowed. She gulped and glanced at Yoona in fury before stalking after her older brother.

The only thing Yoona could do was sigh and thank the gods for saving her again from the endless pain.

********

Lee Sung-Woo, the current head of Lee Enterprise, sighed as he rested his head back against the soft, leather chair. He could hear his kids entering the room but he didn’t bother acknowledging them. They were mature enough to understand that their father was stressed.

Being the head of Lee Enterprise is a hard, challenging job. Not only the company was one of the top companies in the world, it was also the foundation of a large empire built in the underworld. The main family line within the circle of the best of the best. A circle that was broken and re-formed again with new masters. But now, something new was challenging the empire. Something that is ready to topple them off. And he didn’t like that one bit.

“Dad..” he heard his eldest speak. “We can still fix this. You don’t have to take on stress.”

Sung-Woo hummed at his son’s words. The boy was always the calm one. The one who stayed patient till the end before loosing his shit and letting his demons out to rule. “I have put my best men on this. We will know who actually killed Jae-Hee.”

“I know, Tae-min.” The older man spoke. “You would never disappoint me. But I’m not worried about the girl’s death. She’s an easy replacement.”

Something twitched in the golden haired boy. Jae-Hee wasn’t just any girl to him. She was special, but he didn’t dare go against his father.

“Is it the ARIA files then?” Ji-Soo spoke up, nervousness seeping into her tone.

Sung-woo’s anger flared at the mention of his play baby. Those files were important. They were the property papers for ARIA.

“Have you found them yet?”

Ji-Soo shivered at her father’s hard tone. She pursed her lips and shook her head. She didn’t need to say anything because he can see her.

“You better hope they are just misplaced. If something happens to ARIA, I will not forgive you for this, Ji-Soo.” The older man warned his daughter.

Ji-Soo felt her body freeze. Her eyes widening at the implications of his words. He wouldn’t hurt his own daughter, right?

“It’s not her fault, dad.” His son spoke up, defending his little sister. “I think they have been stolen.”

A stab of fear hit Sung-Woo. What kind of force was he dealing with? This building is under strict security 24/7. There were guards everywhere. There were high-tech cameras in every part and corner of this building. It’s impossible for someone to steal the files. He really hoped that his daughter has just misplaced them.

“We’ll talk about them later. Right now, I have to introduce you both to some people.”

They looked at each other in confusion.

“Who?”

Sung-Woo didn’t answer. Instead, he pressed a button underneath his table and the back wall opened up into a series of giant screens covering every inch of the wall space. A loud click was heard as the room’s door locked itself electronically and the windows turned into a smokey grey colour, completely cutting off the view inside the office.

“It’s time for you both to meet The Circle.”

********

The city of Los Angeles was buzzing with life. With it being one of the most populous city in all of California, the nightlife here was tremendously as lavish and expensive as they say. Having so many of entertainment industries under its boundaries and one of the best-class casinos, hotels and clubs, it is no-wonder that the heart of this city was completely submerged into the gambling and dealings of the underworld.

“Welcome to Dream Glow. Please enjoy your stay here.”

Kim Minseok smiled as he entered the large lavish building. Dream Glow. He chuckled. The name itself was grand and majestic as its owner.

“Wow. She really did turn this place around, didn’t she?” His little brother, Kim Jongin, commented as the younger male’s eyes travelled up to the outstanding classic decor. Minseok was also a little impressed. She really did a great job on this place. No wonder it’s brimming with customers.

Nodding his head in acceptance, he proceeded to go deeper into the building to find the egoistical, self-loving cousin of his that he hasn’t seen for a while. The visit itself was quite a surprise to him. Not to mention, the task he was given raised few red flags in his head.

“You sure he’s here?” Jongin asked beside him. The younger boy was eyeing the large room they had just entered in.

It was decorated in the most dark and vibrant colours he has ever seen. The Neon lights from above were giving it an extra glow, just like its name.

“Absolutely.” Minseok replied as they further stepped into the room.

The room was filled with rich men gambling, dancing, laughing and spilling their guts over the little female candies that sat beside them. These females were personally hired to pleasure these people in every way possible.

“Well, Well, well, look who it is...” a voice sang behind them.

“Hello, Charlie.” Minseok called out, not even needing to face the women that has appeared in the most darkest shade of red. Her hair were curled up into the most elegant beach waves ever seen, long diamond earrings complimenting her dress, and the perfect dark, smokey makeup that covered all of her flaws, seemingly making her look flawless.

The women looked at him with her strong gaze. She gasped mockingly.

“The big bad Xiumin? Here in my club? Oh heavens, my death has finally come upon me.”

Minseok rolled his eyes at the women. She was always so dramatic.

“Where is he?” He demanded. The women chuckled, her dark orbs glistening in the neon lights.

“Impatient are we?” She mocked with a little pout. “Come on, we just met after such a long time. Let’s have a little fun.”

A perfectly manicured hand slithered up-to his upper chest, caressing the hard muscles beneath it and rubbing over the hard abs that can be felt with one soft touch. He didn’t react. He could feel his younger brother’s muffled laughter from behind him.

“Charlie, where is Jin?” The tone was hard and clear this time. It made the women pout harder.

“Oh bummer. You’re such a party pooper. Jin was right. You will never change.”

And with that she unlatched her hand from his body and proceeded to the younger Kim who looked a bit shocked at the sudden changeover. “He’s in the private booths to the far corner, away from everyone else.” Minseok looked at the direction she pointed at. “You should go darling, he wants you alone. And don’t worry about your brother, I will play with him.” She said as she worked her magic on Jongin who was always a sucker for a little touch-n-touch anytime and anywhere.

Minseok groaned as a small purr came out from her lips. He shook his head and left the two to their mechanisms. Dream Glow Casino was a trusted place. His brother will be fine.

********

As soon as Minseok reached the booth, he was greeted by a familiar looking blonde boy who was dressed into the most simplest but custom made pink shirt and fancy white pants. His neck held a thin simple silver chain while his right hand was adorned with various rings. One in particular standing out. The dark red ruby.

His handsome face was a true fairytale beauty and way too alluring to the female candies that sat either side of him. They were all over him, being shameless from every angle while the beautiful blonde boy himself stared hungrily at them. His soft, pink, plump lips already working their way against their necks.

“Jin.”

The boy stopped and looked up. He then beamed a bright smile at Minseok.

“Hyung... come, come. Sit with us.” The boy invited, gesturing to the vacant seat in front of him. “We were just talking about you.”

The elder raised an eye brow in question. But none the less, he took a seat with his cousin.

“Did you bring what I asked for, hyung?” The boy asked innocently, lightly tapping his slender fingers on the girl’s shoulders on his right. The hired candy just purred in satisfaction as she bathed in the attention she was receiving from the fairytale prince. Who thought a man like him could ever exist in this world?

Minseok pulled out a small stack of papers all stapled together. He slided them across the table to his cousin.

“It’s yours now.” Minseok smiled as he pointed to the transfer papers. “You are the new owner of ARIA Resort & Casino. Congrats, Jin. You finally got what you wanted.”

A small smirk appeared on his cousin’s face. The boy looked at the papers in total awe. His dark brown eyes scanning over every bit of the papers that now rested in his grip safely. One of his candies tried to grab his attention again but he smacked her off lightly, scolding her with his eyes.

Minseok felt a bit uncomfortable with his cousin and his female companions. He had never gotten used to this personality change in his younger cousin since that night.

Heartbreak is such a cruel thing that can happen to a person.

“You are lucky that I didn’t have to do much.” Minseok continued. “It was an easy grab in. No strings attached.”

His cousin smiled.

“Thank you, hyung. I own you one.” The boy said happily, passing the document to his guard that had appeared out of nowhere. “How’s little kai?”

“Little Kai is enjoying his time with Charlie.”

“Oh...”

A set of giggles erupted from the two ladies. His cousin was really doing wonders on them.

“Jin?”

“Hmm..”

Minseok contemplated if he should ask the question. Would the boy get angry?

“Why are you doing this? Why go after Lee Enterprise now?”

The reaction was instant. The boy who was just flirting and nose booping the candy beside him, stopped instantly. A thin line appeared on his lips while his orbs shifted. His hand wavered at the girl’s face before retracing back to the table.

Minseok didn’t feel anything when his cousin’s dark brown orbs glided to his face. He was not afraid of Kim Seokjin. They were family. Although, he was afraid of the crazy, maniac glint that had appeared in the younger’s eyes.

“It’s simple.” The boy replied, pinning his elder with his steely gaze. “I want my investment back.”

Minseok shook his head in denial. There was something that his cousin wasn’t telling him.

“No... I don’t believe you.” He countered, crossing his arms over his chest. His cousin’s head tilted in question. “Jin, I know you since you were little. All these years, even before that night, you refused to touch the company. You never tried to take over it. Not even the boys could change your mind. Infact, you helped it grow, stuffing its body with heaps of money, connections, assets and power. It has been your very own giant teddy bear for the past ten years. And now suddenly, you decided that you want your teddy back?”

A flicker of smile appeared on his younger cousin’s face. The blonde boy stretched his lips wider and wider, until he was laughing. There was a dark undertone to his windshield laugh.

“Oh hyung... you’re so observant.” The man spoke. “Is it too bad to have my teddy back in my arms again?” He asked, cuddling to the Candies beside him. But this time, his touch was a little rough and the girls felt it. But they still continued to smile.

“Jin, I’m serious.” Minseok warned. “What the hell are you planning?”

“You make me seem like a bad guy, hyung.”

“You are the bad guy, Jin.”

Minseok was truly worried for the golden company. The boy infront of him wasn’t the same boy anymore. He was being selfish. Lee Enterprise was the last thing that remained of Yoona. He can’t let the boy destroy it just like that. Atleast, not without a valid reason.

The grip on the two girls’s shoulders was increasing in strength. Their smiles were faltering with every passing second. Soon, they were squirming in his grip.

“Jin, you are hurting them.” Minseok warned, noticing the two girls’s discomfort.

The blonde boy instantly loosened his grip on them. He looked shockingly at his two candies and then at his elder cousin.

“I’m sorry, Hyung.” He apologised. “I didn’t realise what I was doing.” He then looked at his two candies with a mocking pout gracing his lips. “I’m sorry, girls. Please don’t hate me. I didn’t mean too. I’m not the bad guy. I just got lost there for a second.”

The female companions were spooked by his suddenly weird behaviour. But none-the-less they nodded and continued to snuggle up to him.

However, the guard behind them looked depressed. He shook his head in defeat before walking off to make a quick call to the owner of ‘Dream Glow’ for a very heart-filled apology and the scene that’s about to be happened.

“Jin...” Minseok called out. He was not going to give up.

“Hyung...” The boy looked up.

“Please Jin, whatever you are planning, just drop it. Yoona will not be happy.”

A sudden chill dropped around them. At the mention of the dead girl, his cousin’s features changed. The dark brown eyes turned moist and a broken, pained look appeared in them. Minseok regretted saying the name.

“I think you should leave, hyung.” The boy spoke, biting his bottom lip. “And again, I apologise for the rude behaviour.”

“But jin—” the elder stopped. He didn’t dare to go against the evil glint that has appeared in his cousin’s eyes.

“Go enjoy with Kai.”

And he did. Not the enjoying part, but he did leave the booth, ignoring the loud cries of pain from the girls that followed after.

God bless their souls.

Tag List: @demonic-meatball , @youtube-obsessed-duh , @trinityautumn

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gaiyofanfiction · 5 years

Text

Twisted Karnival - Chapter 1

Stray Kids x Reader

Horror/Thriller/Drama

Twisted Circus!AU

A/N: Here’s chapter 1! We’ve gotten great feedback so far, please let us know what you think of this part! Theresa is a genius! Enjoy! ~Liz

Warnings: Mentions of seduction and kidnapping. Possibly more in the future. We also write for 0t9, so Woojin is going to be in this series.

Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction and in no way represents the idols of Stray kids or JYP.

~~~

[Prologue]

[Before Reading, check out the profile boards for each member HERE.]

~~~

Waking up the next morning, you remembered it was the day of the carnival. Sighing, you ruffled your hair, yawning slightly as your head fell back against the pillow. Your eyes burned against the rays of sunshine beaming through your window. You groaned, rolling over and covering your face. As your body slowly fell back at ease, you were startled by a loud buzzing noise. You lunged forward, nearly falling out of bed to reach your phone to silence it.

“H...hello?”

“Hey! Are you awake?!” Your friend asked excitedly.

You groaned slightly, shuffling your hair around. “I am now. What’s up?” “Tonight is that new event that cute guy invited us to!”

You rubbed your face, glancing at the dark ticket resting on the dresser. “Yeah. Unfortunately, I remembered.”

“Yeah! So I thought we could go pick up some cute outfits before the show to impress someone tonight.”

You sighed loudly, falling back against the bed. “You mean so YOU can impress someone tonight.”

Your friend lightly giggled into the phone. “I will be there in an hour so we have enough time to prepare!” She quickly hung up, leaving you in a sense of pure silence.

You slowly sat up in bed, rubbing the side of your face as your eyes locked onto the black ticket once more. You turned your head, quickly reopening your phone. You typed the words 'Twisted Carnival' into the search engine, leaving you with zero results. “Hmm?” You quickly moved from the bed grabbing the ticket. "Oh, it's with a 'K'." You mumbled and corrected your error retyping the search. Your screen flooded over with a few photos of the Karnival’s performers.

Your jaw drops at the photos of the many god-like boys gracing your screen. “Wow… did they just hire a bunch of models or…?” You closed the tab, opening a new one as you tried to find more information about the show.

Sadly, you found nothing but the same photos. “What the…? You would think that something like this would have a website… or a review? Something?” You rolled your eyes placing the ticket and phone back down.

You look at the ticking clock, noticing your friend will be here in less than 45 minutes. You stand up and stretch your arms. "Well, better hit the shower before I'm dragged all over the place."

~~~

"God, I feel so under dressed compared to you." You mumble as you and your friend walk down the path to the carnival.

Your friend giggles and twirls in her brand new short, long sleeved black dress with thigh high boots. "Oh stop it, Y/N. You look hot! I have no doubt you'll catch the eye of someone."

You look down at your black ripped skinny jeans, the holes revealing the fishnet stockings worn underneath. Pulling at the short black crop top covering the top portion of your body, you grumble. "Why are we wearing these? It's not like were going to a club."

Your friend hooks her arm with yours, pulling you along faster. "Who cares what we wear! We look hot and that orange haired boy is going to flip!"

Before you could respond, you hear the faint carnival music grow louder. Finally, you see the big top tent and the bright lights of the carnival. Your eyes grow wide, in awe at the beautiful sight of the layout in front of you. Your friend squeals excitedly and grabs your arm, pulling you into a run straight to the front gate.

"Well, well, well. Looks like you two beauties were able to make it."

A familiar voice spoke up behind you. The two of you turn to see the orange haired boy from earlier with a smirk on his face. His eyes roam down your body, drinking in your appearance.

"And might I say, you look… delicious."

Your friend doesn't notice that Felix's statement and eyes were solely directed towards you. She giggles and bows her head politely. "Why thank you…"

"Ah, how boorish of me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Felix." He bows once more, right hand to his chest and his left arm out in greeting. He raises his head, sending a subtle wink in your direction, his smirk remaining.

You hold up your black ticket, waving it in the air. "So, um, who do we give this to?"

Felix takes a few steps towards you and snatches the ticket from your hand. "I'll take that, my sweet. But I need to stamp your hand in return." He holds up a stamp and gently takes your hand, pressing it to the backside. As soon as his hand touched yours, a shiver ran down your spine. You look from the stamp up to his eyes. That's when you notice a quick flash of light emitting from his eyes. But before you could react, it disappeared.

He walks over to your friend and also stamps the back of her hand. You didn't see a flash in his eyes this time, however, so you shrug, thinking it was a trick of the light. She squeals and shows you her hand excitedly.

"Ah, Y/N, look! They have little rose stamps for admission!"

You look down at your hand, noticing the stamp was not a rose, but a top hat. You quirked a brow, wondering why yours was different. You were about to ask about it but your friend interrupts you.

"Mr. Felix, would you be so kind as to show me where the restrooms are? I would like to freshen up before the show."

Felix bows his head and grins. "I would be delighted, beautiful." He holds out his hand for your friend to take.

"Y/N, I'll be right back. Don't wander off!"

"Indeed, my dear." Felix turns his head, side eyeing you. "We wouldn't want something to...happen to you."

Standing there, you watch your friend and Felix walk away in slight shock. You sigh, slightly annoyed that your friend would leave you on your own to go off with some random man you just met. Looking around, you notice the hustle and bustle of the carnival. The workers running the food tents and game stands, the parents chasing after their screaming children. It was all a little overwhelming, to say the least.

You walk off to the side of the fair grounds to get away from the commotion of the event, imagining it to be quieter. But that's when you notice a faint humming sound coming from behind the big top tent. You peek your head around and notice a faint glow coming from a smaller tent around the back. Your curiosity got the better of you as you make your way to the buzzing of the glowing light, like a moth to a flame. You reach your hand out slowly, wanting to open the tent flap.

"Excuse me, doll, can I help you?"

You jump upon hearing a new voice, jerking your hand back into your body. Turning your head you see a gorgeous, brown haired man step out from behind the tent you were previously interested in. Your jaw hangs open at the beauty before you.

"I-I.. U-Um…"

The man chuckles and tilts his head. "See something you like, doll?" He gives you the once over, biting his lip. He takes a step towards you, causing you to take a single step back. A hard object blocks your path and you turn your head to see another gorgeous man, this one with jet black hair. You squeak and stumble away, now facing both men.

The one who you bumped into laughs and gives you a crazy look. "Well, who do we have here, Hyunjin?"

The brunette, Hyunjin, lets out a low guttered growl. "I'm not exactly sure, Jisung. But she sure is a cute little thing." His eyes wander down to your stamped hand, his brow raising at the picture of the top hat.

Jisung's eyes follow Hyunjin's, also noticing the picture of the top hat. His eyes grow excited as he bounces on his heels. "Oh oh oh! You're a guest? You're going to just love the show, sweet thing!" His eyes linger on your body, licking his lips. "My sweet, little, innocent-"

"Jisung! Hyunjin! What are you two doing? Get back to work!"

The two boys snap to attention at hearing the voice of their Ringleader. Chan stands behind them, his arms crossed and his eyes flashing red. Jisung and Hyunjin nod and shuffle back into the tent, but not without giving you one more glance. Chan rolls his eyes and turns his attention onto you.

"Now now, what are you doing here, beautiful? It's dangerous for a guest to be wandering around behind the scenes of this camp."

You snap out of your daze and bow your head in apology. "I-I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to. I got, um… lost."

"My dear, call me Chan. I'm the ringleader here at this camp." He takes off his top hat and bows his head in a similar fashion Felix did. He glances down at your stamp, noticing the top hat. A smirk plays at his lips but tries to contain his pleasure. "And I would be delighted to guide you back out to the center of the grounds, my dear."

You hesitated for a moment glancing down at Chan’s out extended hand. You slowly stepped forward, placing your hand in his palm without thinking, a shiver running down your spine at the contact. Another smirk rolled across Chan’s lips as he gazed back over the top hat. He walked you back to the main grounds where you friend was practically drooling over Felix.

“Ahh y/n where were y-” Your friend paused looking over the tall handsome man by your side.

You slowly moved towards her, turning back to see Chan bowing politely. “It was a pleasure, but I must prepare.” You nervously raised your hand in response, quickly bowing yourself. “T...thank you.” You quickly rose your head up. Chan’s head was cocked to the side as another smirk laid rest over his lips. “Again, it was my pleasure.” He chuckled slightly making his leave.

“Well, I should get going to ladies. Please, enjoy the show.” Felix smirked, biting his lower lip as he followed after Chan.

Your friend puts her hands on your shoulders and shakes you. "Who the heck was that?!"

"Woah," you grab her arms, getting her to stop shaking you. "That was Chan. I guess he's the ringleader of this weird place?"

Her mouth drops open in shock but soon collects herself enough to squeal. "Oh my GOD, you captured the eyes of the ringleader?! My girl has got game!" You laugh awkwardly, knowing that's not exactly what happened.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls! Please, make your way to the big top tent, where in ten minutes you will be sure to witness the most amazing acts you have ever seen!"

The loudspeaker blasts through the fair grounds, making the guests all chatter in excitement. Your friend grabs your wrist and pulls you into the crowd that was surging towards the big top tent.

Unbeknownst to you, two pairs of eyes follow your movements, anticipating what's about to come.

261 notes · View notes

ddaengyoonmin · 5 years

Text

-Blind To Love-

Pairing: Dom!Hoseok x Virgin!Reader. (Slightly but not really much) Taehyung x Reader

Genre: ANGST (Like really angsty), Smut, A bit of Fluff at the end. Author also tried for humor a few times and may have failed lmao

Warnings: Oral (Female receiving); Masturbation (Male); Descriptions of Cheating; Losing Virginity; Unprotected sex; Alcohol intoxication; Mentions of being taken advantage of while intoxicated.

Songs I listened to a lot while writing: - Wicked Games- The Weekend ; Kiss land-The Weekend; Friends of friends- Manila Grey; Hurt-Oliver Tree

Word Count: 13.5k

A/N: This is my first time writing a full sex scene. Not totally sure if it was a success but we’ll see lol Let me know what you guys think! I had fun writing this. This was based on a short drabble I had done in my ‘talking between kisses reaction set’

A Blind date your best friend set you up on goes from amazing to horrible. Yet neither of you can get the other off your mind. Maybe there really was something there...

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You didn’t think moving on would be easy. Especially not as easy as your best friend Ashley was making it sound.

It had been a month since it happened. The love of your life, you’d been with since high school had decided his was fed up with your idea of waiting to have sex with him. You’d fought about it many times but usually it would end with his temper simmering down and him sighing an ‘I still love you y/n, I just don’t know how much longer I can wait’

You really didn’t have a good reason of why you hadn’t had sex yet, it just never seemed like the right time, something always ended up feeling off once you were close to it and you’d chicken out.

Once you’d even screamed a “Nevermind!” Right before Jackson was about to put it in. He was less than pleased about that, and didn’t talk to you for about a week. You felt like shit about it but you had gotten too nervous. You loved Jackson. You really did. But the vibes were always off, and you were the type of person who liked to trust your gut about things like this.

A month ago, you’d gone over to his house to surprise him with some delicious cookies you’d just baked and a dvd rental for an impromptu date night, knowing he also had the night off. You had a spare key to his place so you let yourself in and yelled out “I brought your favorites, Me, some cookies and a…” you were cut off by a loud moan. Wondering if he was watching porn you, giggled. It wasn’t the first time you’d walked in on him, you went to his room to swing open the door with a joking “Caught ya!”

You weren’t expecting the disgusting sight you saw. You sure did catch him. On his bed, balls deep in a cute skinny brunette wearing a cheerleaders outfit. Your jaw dropped and you wished you could unsee what you were seeing. He was positioned with her on top rocking her hips against him squealing with pleasure.

The worst of it all, the memory that was still stuck in your head, was when he saw you standing there. He looked right at you, no remorse on his face, no surprise, and he just shrugged. Almost as if to say ‘what’d you expect’ . You ran out of the room, out of that house, dropping the cookies on the floor as you left, eyes burning and tears pouring down your face.

That was the last time you’d seen him, and you never wanted to see him again. It had broken you. For about a week you were a complete mess, you called in sick to work, faking the flu and just sat in your room tearing up every picture of him. Trying your hardest to tear apart every memory from your brain with them.

Now it was easier to bear, but you couldn’t help feeling like if you had only put out...if you had only let him, maybe he wouldn’t have had to go get it from someone else.

“That’s bullshit, he’s just a pig and probably would’ve done it anyways.” Your best friend Ashley remarked as she pushed a large chip into her mouth. You had just told her of that theory and she was not putting up with it. “He wasn’t entitled to anything y/n. You should be grateful you didn’t sleep with that asshole”

You bent your head down, frowning, “I guess”

“You need a good rebound” she said, shoveling down more chips.

“I do not! And be careful. You are getting crumbs all over my bed” You whined.

This was a regular night for the two of you, laying in your bed binge watching your favorite tv shows together on the tv that hung on your bedroom wall.

“You may not think you do, but trust me, it would help! Just a nice guy to take your V card so you can finally let out some of that bottled up stress” She smirked, messily crunching a chip just to tick you off.

“So it’s good I didn’t have sex with the man I was with for years, but you approve of a one night stand?

Ashley turned to you, eyes narrowing, she put a hand on either side of your face and held you so you’d look her in the eye “Exactly! Jackson, was awful, what he did was awful. I never liked him. You’re too good for him. But you have neglected that puss girl. Find a nice guy, and fuck him, and you’ll feel better.”

Your eyes bugged out of your skull and you slapped her hands away “Puss?! Puss Ashley?? Really??” you were laughing so hard tears started to form in your eyes, and she rolled into you cracking up just as hard.

Once you’d just about peed your pants you calmed yourself down, wiping your tears from the corners of your eyes.

“Seokjin has a friend I could set you up with you know. He just came back into town after being gone for a long time. ” she suggested in a serious tone. You considered for a moment. Her boyfriend Seokjin was a really nice guy, him and Ashley had been together almost a year now, and you’d never seen her more happy. Yet, just because this guy was a friend of his didn’t insure that he would be a decent guy as well. Plus the idea of going on a date just to ‘get some’ was so not your style.

You shrugged, “I just don’t think I’m ready Ash”

She sighed in defeat. “I just don’t see the harm in trying”

You put your hands over your face and quietly groaned “Fine fine fine fine”

Her eyes lit up, “Really??” She immediately got out her phone and started texting.

“Shit Ash, right away?”

“Yep!” She grinned and set her phone back down on the bed. “I just texted Jin to set it up with his friend. I thought you guys would be cute together when I met him the other day. He’s quite the gentleman, and I think you guys will really hit it off”

“Great, can we watch the show now?” you groaned

Ashley cuddled up next to you to watch the tv, mouth pulled into a wide grin due to her victory.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were in your bathroom putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup before heading out. Ashley had set the date up but didn’t tell you more than the guy’s name, she didn’t even let you see a picture of him. “It’ll be more exciting that way! He hasn’t seen you either. Just make sure you get him home after and take care of your little issue there” She had giggled and winked when telling you.

You had sighed and told her you still weren’t sure about it, and that you’d probably chicken out about the sex part.

But, you did think it was a good idea to go on a date and get out there again, you hadn’t fully gotten your ex off your mind and she was right that this might be a good distraction and way to get erase some of those feelings you were still clinging on to.

You had opted for a tight, short red dress with spaghetti straps that exposed your back quite a bit. You figured that even if you decided not to try and have sex tonight it wouldn’t hurt to try and increase the chances that you could by wearing something appealing.

The taxi you had called takes you to the Italian restaurant you had been told to meet the man at. Hoseok was his name, and besides Ash’s reassurances that he was a really nice guy, that was all you knew about him, you wondered if Ash had played up his niceness due to the fact that his looks were, in the nicest words...lacking. Not that you were totally superficial but a pretty face definitely doesn’t hurt, especially if you end up following through with hooking up with him as Ashley insisted you should. As you were walking into the restaurant you texted him to say you were there, he had gotten your number the night before from Seokjin so that you two could set up a time and place.

Text From Hoseok: Hey, sorry I’m running a few minutes late, would you mind getting a table for us? I’ll be there soon

You got yourself seated at a table for two, informing the hostess another would be joining you soon. You were brought waters and menus. You were taking a large sip of water when a tall, jaw droppingly attractive man approached your table, “Are you Y/N?” He asked, his voice deep and smooth. Your eyes grew as wide as saucers at his breathtaking presence. You almost spit all of the water you still held in your mouth onto the table, trying to save yourself from that embarrassment you swallowed it all in one big gulp, not helping save you from any embarrassment as that action caused you to start choking and coughing.

You covered your mouth an nodded at him, appalled at yourself, for your less than ideal first impression.

He seemed to be amused, settling himself down across from you at the table. His dark black hair was parted down the center, wavy and styled perfectly, and he was dressed so stylishly with dark black jeans, a v neck shirt and a perfectly fitting burgundy jacket, unbuttoned. You start to wonder whether he was a model. You realized how much you were staring and thanked the gods that he was staring at his menu and not you.

“Have you ever been here before?” He breaks the silence and looks up at you with the corner of his mouth pulled into a slight smile.

You shook your head shyly.

“Me either,” He replies “I do like pasta though, would you wanna each get two different ones and split them 50/50, I can’t make up my mind”

You nod at him slowly. He’s acting so comfortable with you right away, and you can barely get yourself to form words. You want to smack yourself in the forehead at your awkwardness with him.

He smiles “Great! We should try the shrimp alfredo, and the cream tomato and beef pasta if that sounds good to you?” He cutely cocked his head slightly to the side at his question, eyes making confident contact with yours.

You nod again, words still struggled to come out of your lips.

Hoseok chuckled “Are you always this quiet?”

“I-I’m sorry, no, I’m just nervous” You quietly managed to get out

“No need to be nervous sweetheart, you’re in good hands tonight” He winked.

You felt butterflies in your stomach, ‘sweetheart? he really isn’t shy’, you thought to yourself.

The waiter came over to the table and Hoseok ordered for you both, “And a glass of Merlot for the lady here,” he added at the end.

“Wait what, why?” You stuttered

He laughed with a flirtatious smirk “Because, you need to loosen up a little sweetheart”

There was that sweetheart again, and the butterflies in your stomach to go with it.

While you waited for your food Hoseok didn’t wait long to get in to asking you all about yourself, you answered most of his questions without stuttering over your words too much, telling him about your job, and your family. He listened intently to every answer, nodding his head paying full attention to every detail you gave.

Once the wine reached your table you eagerly grabbed it and chugged about half of it quickly. Hoseok chuckled at you and shook his head. “Well that should help huh?” He lightly teased.

You managed a small smile “I’m so sorry, I’m not usually so awkward,”

He shrugged, “I think its cute”

Damn, he's not helping by saying things like that. His charming flirty way of speaking was so effortless, contrasted by your awkward bumbling around so far you don’t see how he could possibly find it cute. Yet, there was no hint of dishonestly in his voice.

With one finger he slowly nudged your wine glass closer to you “Finish it” He ordered.

Taken aback by his boldness your eyes widen, but you can’t deny it really would help. You take the glass to your lips drinking every last drop in the glass. He smiled and nodded approvingly “Good girl,” He praised.

You felt your heart flip flop in your chest at his praise. Shyly looking down to the table.

“So,” you begin “Ashley said you were out of town for a long time and just got back,”

“Right,” He nodded “I was in New York, I stayed there to teach dance for a couple years”

“Wow! New York, that’s pretty far. So you’re a dancer?”

The rest of the dinner was a lot more relaxed with you both exchanging personal details of your life. You at one point when he was busy eating snuck a text under the table to Ashley

‘THANKS for not warning me how hot the guy you were setting me up with is. I literally choked on my water when he walked up to the table’

Her reply was almost instant as if she’d been waiting for some sort of update from you on how it was going ‘Get some’ was all she said. You rolled your eyes.

“Something up?” Hoseok said curiously, bringing his water to his lips.

“Oh no, just Ashley, checking up on me. She’s nosy” you muttered.

Hoseok chuckled “She seems great, When I first met her she couldn’t stop talking about you and how much I’d like you if I met you”

“What?” you gasped slightly mortified. “Ugh, like I said she's really nosy, I’m sorry if she pushed you into this”

“Nobody pushes me into anything” He stated firmly “For the record I’m really glad I came, hopefully you are too?” He raised an eyebrow

“Yeah, I am” you smiled shyly at the charming man sitting across from you, his confidence never fading throughout any interaction between the two of you. You were quite fond of everything about him, his looks and his never faltering aura of relaxedness.

When dinner was over he paid, which you tried to insist he didn’t need to.

“Nonsense” He cut off your reasonings for why you should pay for your half, and slipped his card to the waiter before you could do anything about it.

“Thank you”

“Of course, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t pay for my beautiful date’s meal on our first date”

You blushed at the endearment from him. Getting up from the table he helped you put your coat that you had brought with you on, holding it while you turned back facing him and put and arm in each sleeve.

“Shall I walk you to your car?” He offered

“I uh, actually took a taxi here, I forgot to call one to pick me up but I’ll do that now and it shouldn't take more than 20 minutes to get here”

He frowned and shook his head, “No, I’ll drive you home”

“You really don’t have to, I live kinda far from here”

“Which is exactly why I would be a total jerk if I let you pay for another long taxi ride home”

You could tell no wasn’t going to be an answer, and honestly spending more time with him wasn’t a bad idea. You had decided half way through the meal you weren’t going to try and bring him home, you were already too nervous just talking to him, you couldn’t even imagine how bad you’d be in bed right now. But the thought still intrigued you, the way his lips looked so soft and welcoming, the way his jacked was unbuttoned in a way that let you see the tight shirt clinging to his muscular chest made your core ache in a way you’d never felt before.

As he drove you home the two of you engaged in more small talk, though you weren’t totally attentive the whole time, your mind still distracted by impure thoughts of the man sitting next to you.

Once reaching your apartment complex, with a hand on the car door, you turned to say goodbye and were met with his hungry eyes. He was staring at your lips not letting his eyes leave your face. You could feel your heart pounding loudly in your chest. He slowly leaned in towards you getting only inches from your face, waiting for your permission to lay his lips on yours. ‘Fuck it’ you thought. You granted him what he was craving because oh how you were craving it too.

Lunging forward into the kiss and grabbing the back of his neck you as you did. The kisses were fast and sloppy like two people who were starved. “Oh my god y/n” He gasped into your mouth “please” he groaned, lips meeting yours again and his tongue starting to lightly flick your bottom lip before pulling away slightly “will you…” he plants a few more quick sloppy kisses on you, then through his pants you could hear... “please, will you invite me to come in with you?”

You hesitated, not because you didn’t want to invite him in, but because you couldn’t believe this was happening, it felt surreal that this godlike man was begging YOU to invite him to your place. You managed a small nod of your head. He let out a soft growl planting one last kiss on your lips before pulling into a parking space quickly, and rushing to your side of the car to open the door for you.

It felt like time was moving too slowly as you hand in hand led him to your apartment. The key couldn’t turn in the lock fast enough, as you felt you would die of anticipation. This was it, this was the night you would finally lose your virginity, and to HIM?

Once inside he mumbled “You live alone?” and you confirmed yes you live alone. Instantly he grabbed you by your waist, pressing every inch of his body against yours, his breathing strained and his eyes lustful as he trailed kisses down your neck and to the top of your chest where the fabric of your dress still hung over your breasts. He took one of the straps from your dress and slid it down off your shoulder, pleased to see you hadn’t been wearing a bra (As the dress had a built in one, you silently thanked yourself for choosing this attire) he groaned as he slipped the other strap off of your shoulder as well, giving him full view of your tits.

“Wow,” he breathed heavily “So perfect” and he cupped one in his hand while bringing his face to the other to plant kisses and then to take your erect bud into his mouth, flicking his tongue against you eliciting a soft moan from your lips, while you ran your hands through his hair as he sucked and teased. He dropped to his knees, pulling your dress down further, now kissing your stomach with soft but needy kisses. He glanced up at you to see your eyes closed and head tilted back in ecstasy. He smirked and planted another kiss right below your belly button, proud of the state you’re in, proud that he was making you feel that way.

Hoseok slipped your dress down all the way, leaving you naked and exposed besides the lace black panties still clinging to the part of your body that was so needy for his touch.

He played with the hem of the panties, teasing you until you groaned a “Hoseok, please” At that he gently pressed a finger to your clit over the fabric and slowly drew circles, you let out a soft squeak at the sudden wave of pleasure flooding your body.

Hoseok then suddenly and harshely grabbed the panties and yanked them down to your ankles as if they were offending him, angry that they were in his way. He smirked up at you only for a split second before diving in to your soaking core. You could barely stay standing, your knees feeling weak as his tounge playfully licked you, flicking over your clit while he held you from behind your thighs.

“H-Hoseok” you whined, He continued to hungrily lap up every last bit of wetness that you were giving to him. Your hands holding his head to you gently, feeling yourself already approaching your high.

Jackson had done this for you once or twice, but never this good, you actually faked your orgasm with him one of the times just to get him to stop. But this, you never wanted it to stop.

Hoseok could feel you approaching your finnish and he sped up his tongue, the quick figure eight movements to your clit were going to be your undoing.

“That's it baby, come for me” he muttered into you quickly and sped up even faster than you’d thought was possible.

“H-hoseok, I-I’m gonna, I’m…” A wave of pleasure crashed around you, you gripped his hair roughly as that lethal tongue continued it’s pace. You couldn’t help but scream out at the feeling. He didn’t stop until he was sure you had rode out your high, he then slowed his pace until finally bringing his lips away from you and planting one last kiss to your folds before standing up to face you.

He started to unzip his pants “I’m gonna wreck you princess, you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into now” He smirked darkly. “You gonna be a good little slut for me? Take my cock in that pussy and obey my every word. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to taste you even though I don’t think you deserved it for wearing such a revealing dress, teasing me the whole dinner. I wanted to take you from the minute I saw you and I bet every guy in that restaurant did too. I should punish you for that, Unfortunately I didn’t bring my paddle, I’ll have to make do with what I’ve got here. Better come up with a safeword sweetheart” His face dark and serious as he continued to undress himself. Your eyes were wide with shock, no one had ever spoken to you like that before, he was right, you didn’t understand what you’d gotten into. It kind of scared you, and you realized you should inform him that this was your first time...and that you really didn’t even understand this game he wanted to play with you. It seemed to be a turn on for him to want to punish you, to want to be rough with you. He wanted a safeword? You didn’t even know what that meant. You felt embarrassed of your inexperience, part of you didn’t want to tell him, but you also knew he’d probably realize it pretty quickly.

He roughly grabbed your waist about to lead you to the couch and was opening his mouth to to speak, something filthy again you guessed, when you cut him off with “I’m a virgin!” oh shit, you just blurted it, no set up, no beating around the bush. Not exactly how you meant to say that but you figured maybe he’d just say okay and you’d continue on your merry way to lovemaking.

However that was not the case. Hoseok instantly froze. “What” he said softly in monotone.

“I-I’ve never had sex before, I just figured that was important to know before we...ya know, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood lets just go back to…”

But he was already pulling his pants back up over his now fading erection, zipping them up and shaking his head the whole time. “I misread this situation, I’m not doing this” He said with some rage in his tone. “You should’ve said that sooner” He snapped.

“I’m sorry” You stuttered, tears starting to form, mortified at his reaction.

He quickly gathered himself and without even so much as a goodbye was out the door, slamming it on his way out, and that was it, he was gone.

You stood in shock, not wanting to chase after him after that harsh rejection you’d just recieved. The tears forming in your eyes were now rolling down your face. You’d blown it, maybe you shouldn’t have told him. When you said it, he looked at you with such disgust, it was the most humiliating feeling you’d ever experienced. There he was, worshiping you between your legs one moment, to glaring at you and rushing out the door like you had the plague the next.

You ran to your room and collapsed into your bed sobbing into your pillow, still as naked and exposed as he’d left you when he stormed out the door. You inner thighs still wet with the lingering reminder of the beautiful gift he’d given you. Your sobs grew louder the more you thought on it, everything was going so well, the whole night was perfect and you ruined it. How could you get your heartbroken by a guy because you wouldn't have sex with him, only to get your heart broken by the next because you hadn’t had sex and wanted to with him.

Your cries continued all the way until you drifted into sleep.

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“HE WHAT?” Ash’s appalled voice screamed into the phone, you had to pull it away from your ear.

“Yeah...It was going well, but after I told him...It just all went wrong” You said somberly

“I’m gonna kill him if I see him again. To just leave like that without a goodbye? Without an explanation, especially after you guys had already gotten pretty hot and heavy together. I can’t believe anyone would have the nerve to do that. Y/N I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have set you up if I knew he was going to act like such a douche about it. I’ve heard he was a player but also quite the gentleman so I figured a guy like him would be perfect to take your V card and -SEOKJIN WE NEED TO TALK-” She interrupted her own thought to presumably scream at her probably now terrified boyfriend who had just come in the door to their shared apartment.

“Wait, Ash. You literally set me up on this date with a player, just for a fuck? What is wrong with you?!” You yelled shocked

“Oh come on, y/n. It wasn’t like you’re thinking. I mean yeah I knew he probably wasn’t the type for dating, but he seemed like such a nice guy, and what you needed to get your mind off of Jackson wasn’t a new boyfriend”

You groaned loudly “Ash. I love you. But don’t do that again, and I think this is a perfect example of why not”

“Yeah, I really am sorry, do you need me to come over?” She quietly replied apologetically.

“That’d be nice, bring some ice cream.”

“Okay, I just need to tell Seokjin that his friend is a douchebag real quick and I’ll be right over”

You rolled your eyes, even though she couldn’t see. “Please spare him the details of this. I’d rather my embarrassing night not be the talk of the town.”

“Uhh okay” She answered with a tone you could tell meant she most definitely was going to give every detail to her boyfriend, and probably yell at him about Hoseok as if it was his fault too somehow just by association with the offender in question.

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When Ashley came over in about an hour you vented, ate icecream and got many hugs and reassurances. As a pleasant surprise she’d also brought over tons of wine, you both had proceeded to drink almost all of it.

“Yoush” *hiccup* “You should tell him, that he is a rude” *hiccup* “Rude scumbag, with a trash dick, and you hope it falls off” Ashley drunkenly slurred.

You giggled, equally as drunk as your friend “Ashhhh, I didn’t even see his dick”

“Well tell him that…” She thought hard with her hand to her chin “That he is bad at eating pussy and you thought of someone else the whole time”

“Yikes Ash,” you laughed, Taking another sip of wine. “How about I just don’t talk to him ever again and lets leave it at that”

But in your drunken haze, before you had even realized what was happening, you saw Ash typing on her phone, wait, not her phone, your phone! “Ash wait no! What are you doing!”

She giggled maniacally and said “SENT” while holding her stomach and falling over with laughter.

You quickly grabbed the phone to assess the damage.

Hey hoseok, y/n here. Just wanted to say that you are a giant douchbag, and a coward. Thanks for leaving without an explaination, doucheee, -much hate, y/n

“ASH WHY” you yelled hitting her in the shoulder, quickly putting your fingers to your keyboard to try and undo what she had done

I’m really sorry, That was Ash not me. You don’t owe me an explanation. We can just never speak about this or anything ever again.

“Why do you make things worse” You groaned at Ashley after pressing send, hoping Hoseok would just ignore the messages.

*Ding* your phone chimed. Your stomach dropped. “Oh shit. I don’t wanna read it” you whined

Ashley took the phone and read aloud “Y/N. I’m very sorry I left in a rush last night, I’m sorry if that hurt you, if you really want an explanation we can meet tomorrow at the coffee shop on the corner of 2nd Street at 2:00.” Ashley looked annoyed “He's really gonna try and meet up after that? What the hell is wrong with him. Don’t go y/n,”

You nodded as if to agree with her. But your mind was racing. He wanted to meet again, maybe you hadn’t totally blown it, maybe he had a really good reason, maybe he just ended up not feeling well, maybe he’d want to try again. You thought hopefully, only to frown, realizing you were probably fooling yourself. If he didn’t want you then, he wouldn’t want you now.

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It was the next day, and there you were, wearing a cute short skirt and tight fitting top, waiting at the coffee shop at 2:00. Despite Ash’s warnings that you were setting yourself up for more hurt you couldn’t help but be curious at the excuse Hoseok was going to try to use to explain his odd behavior two nights ago.

When he walked into the shop he was just as breathtaking at the first time you’d seen him. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a black pullover hoodie, a black beanie hanging off of his lazily styled black hair. It was such a simple lazy look, yet he pulled it off like he was a supermodel. It was so unfair. Just two nights ago that perfect face was buried between your legs, and seeing him now just reminded you that you’d never get to feel that heaven he’d given to you ever again. He’d rejected you after giving you the best night you’d ever had, turning it into one of the worst you’d ever had, surprisingly maybe a close second to walking in on your ex fucking another woman.

Hoseok sat down at the table after grabbing a coffee from the counter. He actually seemed shyer compared to the smooth talking Hoseok the first time you’d met him. He held his coffee cup with both hands, staring down at it awkwardly.

“Hi.” He spoke.

“Hello” you returned.

More silence.

“So…” you began, watching him as he fiddled with the lid of his cup avoiding your eyes.

“So…” he repeated after you quietly. “I should explain huh” his gaze finally lifted up to yours. His dark eyes looking tired and lifeless. He sighed

“First, I’m sorry” he winced like that was hard for him to say, “You see, the thing is. I like to have sex a certain type of way…” He paused. “I’m what you would call a dom, and I’m a pretty intense one, I’m assuming you don’t know what that is. Some of the main things that means is that I like to hurt, inflict pain, or deny a woman of her orgasm over and over until shes screaming for it, it’s what I get off on and it’s the only way I have sex. The women I have sex with are subs, and I usually have a really good eye for when someone is one. I thought” He took a deep breath in “It seems I mistook your shy innocence for that, rather than being a virgin, I thought you were the type of girl that I usually participate in those acts with, and I thought you realized thats how I was as well. But when you told me you were a virgin, it hit me like a ton of bricks how mistaken I was. I would never do what I do to other girls to a virgin, you would never want your first time to be with someone like me” his voice trailed off and he hung his head looking down to the table. “I had to leave quickly, because I was scared that even after knowing what you were...I wasn’t going to be able to hold myself back. I was really worked up, and you were,” he stopped and looked up at you again, eyes trailing over you, a hint of the hunger from the other night showing on his face “you are, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life” He groaned “It’s not fair, I got a taste, but I can’t have you”

Finally he paused long enough for you to get a word in. “oh…I guess I get it. But, maybe I’d like those things you do”

“Y/N, you don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t even know the things I wanted, and still want to do to you” his voice strained as he spoke.

“You’re right, I don’t know, but I don’t need to be babied, I can learn, I can at least try right?”

Hoseok shook his head sternly “No, I’m not going to. You deserve to have your first time to be with someone who cares about you, who will treat you gently and take his time, someone who wouldn’t just think of you like a sex toy.”

A sex toy? So is that how he saw you, is that how he views women? Upon noticing your appalled face he points at you

“See. This is what I mean. If you can’t even handle me saying stuff like that you aren’t ready. I wouldn’t treat you kindly. Me eating you out was...different, I actually don’t know why I did that without getting into my dom persona yet. But I assure you that you don’t deserve to be treated the way I treat women. I can tell you are a good person, a kind woman, someone who deserves anything but this” he gestured to himself.

Your face scrunched and you pouted very obviously. He sighed and shook his head, he bit his lip as if trying to hold back from something.

“I’ve said all I came here to say, you deserve an explanation. You didn’t do anything wrong, its me. I’m not ashamed of who I am or what I enjoy, but I have a rule of not participating in what I do with women who have no experience with it, let alone someone who has no experience with sex at all. First of all because I don’t particularly enjoy teaching new subs, and secondly because you may think you’re ready for it, But I can tell you aren’t, and I’m so bad at holding back” he almost moaned that last part. It was evident that he still was very attracted to you, why or how you couldn’t quite understand, you’d never thought of yourself as the type of girl guys thought of as irresistible. But Hoseok looked at you like all he wanted was to pick up right where he left off right here in the coffee shop.

“I still think that you’re being a bit ridiculous, how do you know what I can and can’t handle” you shot out.

He stayed staring at you like he was a lion ready to pounce on his prey, “As a dom part of my role is to know what my subs can and can’t handle. And you.” He shook his head disappointedly “You can’t handle this. I’m afraid this is the last we’ll see of eachother y/n” He immediately stood up, walking over to you and planting a kiss on your cheek. “I really am sorry, I hope you find someone who can treat you how you deserve” He said wincing at that thought, the thought of someone else being the one to lay in bed with you.

He sped out of the shop parking lot faster than legal, angry at himself for putting himself in such a tempting position with you. Angry at himself for feeling a feeling he swore he’d long forgotten, jealousy was an emotion that had long been out of his list of things he’d felt. It’d been many years since the thought of someone else with the woman he wanted made his blood boil like this. He was used to one night stands, and if he happened to see the girl he’d slept with the night before at the same club the next night, with a different man, he felt nothing. Mostly because he was already on the search for someone new himself. In fact, meeting you at the coffee shop was the first time in forever that he could remember meeting with a woman he had been intimate with for a second time without it just being for another round of sex and nothing more. He shook his head as he gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white. It would fade, he’d forget you just like all the others, he told himself.

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It’d been two weeks now after being rejected by Hoseok for the second time. You were getting dressed to head over to Ashley and Jin’s place for a party they were throwing. Ashley was quite the social butterfly and loved throwing these large parties with drinking and dancing and the works. You always felt slightly out of place but liked to go anyways.

You slipped on a black skirt and tight blue shirt that you felt made your tits look incredible, then made your way to the taxi and finally arrived at Ash’s place.

You’d gotten there about an hour after the party had started, upon walking into the large space where many people were gathered you saw most seemed already many drinks in. Loud music blaring from some speakers in the corner of the room playing some generic dance music you couldn’t help but bob your head to.

“Hey!” A voice yelled from across the room. Ash ran over to you throwing her arms around your shoulders. “Let's get you a drink” She grinned, obviously a few in already herself.

As you made your way to the drinks table a figure dancing in the center of the room caught your eye. Damnit. Why was he here.

Hoseok was dancing enthusiastically to the song playing, a tall blonde that looked like she walked straight out of a playboy magazine was pressed against him. Her back to him and ass grinding against his front while he had his hands on her hips moving her to the music smoothly.

He happened to look up from her for just long enough to see you staring. Shit. You thought, not wanting to make things awkward you wanted to look away, but you just couldn’t seem to. You couldn’t help but wonder if that girl was one of those sub types he had been talking about. Would she be giving him exactly what he wanted later tonight? The thing that he didn’t seem to think you could give…

What he did next was far too reminiscent of your least favorite memory with your ex. Hoseok did a simple shrug and a smirk your way.

Your blood was boiling and your eyes must’ve shown how much you didn’t appreciate that gesture since Hoseok made a ‘yikes’ face and went back to focusing on the playboy bunny looking girl in front of him.

“Earth to y/n” Ash waved a hand that was cupping a drink in your view. You quickly grabbed it and chugged it down instantly handing it back to Ashley implying you were ready for another.

“Damn girl” She giggled “Okay, I get it, it's that kind of night”

She promptly got you another drink. You were ready to get wasted, hoping to forget that Hoseok was here. It hurt enough to be rejected by him, but why did he have to parade himself around in all his perfection. You felt insignificant, your inexperience in sex drove him away.

After some dancing and a few more drinks your inhibitions had been sufficiently driven away. You couldn’t help yourself from glancing Hoseok’s way every once in a while. No matter how hard you were trying to just enjoy hanging out with Ashley, thoughts of him kept intruding.

When you looked this time he was on his own, his dance partner must’ve left to get a drink or gone to the bathroom. Ashley was facing away from you dancing against Jin.

Not fully in control of your feet or your actions, you found yourself strutting over to him. You grabbed his arm “Come here” you said angrily and dragged him into the kitchen. His eyebrows raised in amusement, not used to anyone being this forward with him of all people.

You let him go and he instantly crossed his arms. “Little girl you’d better explain yourself.” he growled, yet the look of amusement hadn’t quite left his face.

You huffed, too drunk to think over your words before they spilled out “You know something. I am quite offended that you think I’m not someone who could handle you. Like all this-” you motioned up and down to all of him “-is some kind of special prize that I’d have gotten to have if only I was some kind of floozy or something like that” you slurred

He let out an unrestrained laugh at your words. “Holyshit you’re smashed. Okay um I-”

You cut him off “No. I don’t even want to hear it. I wasn’t trying to say I still wanted you or something. I’m just saying what gives you the right to act like you know me so well after one date. One and a half maybe if you count the second time you rejected me” you pouted. “Anyways, my point here is, I was thinking about what you said about me needing to lose it with someone I cared about. And I think that's bullshit. You don’t get an opinion on who I lose my virginity to, or how they feel about me. You think you’re saving me or something by not being my first. So I’m here to inform you that I’m going to go have sex. Tonight. With some random guy out there” you whipped your arm out and pointed out to the party, losing your balance as you did and almost falling over. “And I don’t give a shit if he cares about me or not.”

You couldn’t quite tell what was going through Hoseok’s mind. His face had turned from amused to blank and emotionless. You didn’t wait around for him to respond and stumbled back out to join the rest of the party.

You scanned the room for a suitable candidate and your eyes landed on an attractive man standing alone against one of the walls. You wandered over to him

“Wanna dance” you said in your best flirtatious voice.

The man grinned widely and excitedly pulled himself from the wall and nodded. You grabbed his hand and pulled him out into the center of the crowd of other dancing party goers. You instantly pressed your back against his chest and started pressing your backside into his hips, rolling them smoothly to the beat of the music the same way you’d watched the girl do with Hoseok.

“What’s your name?” he spoke into your ear, then pulled back your hair so he could softly brush his lips against your neck.

“I’m y/n. You?” you smiled softly turning your head as much as you could to face him from your position giving flirtatious doe eyes and batting your eyelashes at him.

“Taehyung” he murmured into your ear, a soft groan only audible to you left his lips and his hands gripped your sides hard moving with them as they pressed against his now growing boner. After dancing for a couple minutes like that you spun around to face him. Your hands draped loosely over his shoulders, you leaned into his ear “I know a place we can go to be alone” you whispered.

“Fuck” he inhaled sharply “Yeah, lets go” he nodded

You walked clumsily, leading him towards the halway you knew led to Ash’s guest room. You figured she wouldn’t mind, especially since she was the one who had pushed for you to lose your V card so much.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” A voice yelled from behind you. You whipped your head around to see Hoseok seething, standing tall and staring directly at Taehyung.

“You’re really gonna go in there and fuck a girl who’s that drunk? That’s the type of creep you are?” He shouted at the man who you had invited into the spare room with you.

“What the fuck man, she asked me” Taehyung spat back, putting up his hands defensively, slightly embarrassed about the scene that was being caused.

“And you feel good about that huh?” Hoseok growled, shoving the shoulder of other man hard causing him to stumble back a few steps.

“Hoseok!” You were in shock at his actions towards Taehyung. “Hoseok, there's no fucking problem here. I’m consenting okay.”

“Yeah man, you can step the fuck back” Taehyung hissed putting an arm around your shoulders as if to show Hoseok that he was more than allowed to be with you.

Hoseok’s hands were balled into fists, his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes narrowed. He shook his head and let out a low somewhat menacing chuckle. In one swift stroke before you could even registar what was happening, Hoseok had picked you up and thrown you over his shoulder. He walked away quickly carrying you out the door of Ash and Jin’s house.

You started hitting your fists onto his back in protest and you could faintly hear a “What the hell man” from Taehyung as you were carried further away from the party.

Once you had reached his car Hoseok plopped you down, still holding on to you by one of your wrists he opened the passenger seat door. “In.” he commanded sternly.

“No way!” you objected “You’re acting like a psycho right now”

He tensed up at your comment, the vein in his neck throbbing “Now.” he spoke through clenched teeth.

Not wanting to escalate his anger any further you decided to give in and get in his car.

He slammed the door after you entered and rushed to the drivers side, also slamming his own door as he sat down.

“You.” he started, shaking his head “What were you thinking”

“I think I already told you what I was thinking, remember our talk in the kitchen”

“Our talk huh” he scoffed, running his fingers through his hair in an aggressive manner. “You mean when you pulled me in there to go off on me and didn’t even wait around for me to get a word in” he glared at you.

You started nervously pulling at your fingers in your lap.

Hoseok put the keys in the ignition and started to back out of the spot he was parked in.

“I’m taking you home” he muttered

“Are you okay to drive? We were kinda just at a party”

He rolled his eyes at you “I didn’t drink, I don’t really drink”

You now remember your date with him, he ordered you a wine but nothing besides water for himself. You wonder why you thought he was just as drunk as you tonight. You groaned to yourself, you’re a drunk mess currently and he's completely sober to witness it all. You shouldn’t care, you’re overwhelmed with anger because of his actions and the fact that he for lack of a better term ‘cockblocked’ you.

You were silent the whole way home as was he. Surprisingly he remembered exactly where you lived and didn’t ask for directions once.

As he pulled up to your apartment complex you decided to one last time give him a piece of your mind.

“You know I was fine right? I don’t see why it even matters to you if I sleep with someone. You totally cockblocked me and embarrassed that poor guy at the party. He was nice.” You glared at Hoseok.

He put the car in park and shook his head, “You’d regret it if you were this drunk for your first time”

“Again, I don’t see why that matters to you, or why you think it's any of your business anyways” you huffed.

He didn’t look at you, staring at his steering wheel with a serious expression.

His silence only irritated you more, “This is a decision that should be up to me. I’m grown woman who can make her own damn choices”

He scoffed, still not turning his head to you, “Obviously you can’t because you were about to make a horrible choice”

You felt your face growing red with rage. “Thats. Not. For. You. To. Say” you enunciated clearly, not really sure how better to get this point across to him. He rejected you, he wasn’t your boyfriend or even your friend for that matter.

He sighed and finally turned to make eye contact with you, his expression was softer than it had been since dragging you out of Ashley’s house. “Look. When I lost my virginity…” He winced at the memory “It was awful, I mean not the act itself, but it was with a woman who couldn’t have cared less about me. I was in love with her, the only woman I’ve ever loved…” he trailed off and paused for a while.

You sat in silence waiting for him to finish explaining himself.

“She was my older brothers girlfriend. I’d always loved her. Sometimes she’d come over to our house even though she knew my brother wasn’t home. I didn’t want to do anything to betray my brother, even though she begged. One day I caved in and I let her kiss me. After that she just kept wanting more, I tried to tell her how awful it made me feel and that I would never go all the way with her. Eventually she ended up getting me so drunk I could barely function, and she told me she was going to leave him for me if I slept with her. I was so taken by the love I had for her that I believed her. I barely even remember what happened I was so wasted. But I do remember how right after we were done she laughed. She never planned on leaving my brother, she was an awful person” he shook his head, it seemed he was almost tearing up. “My brother ended up coming home while all this was happening. He saw me with her. And she told him…” Hoseok took a deep breath “She told him that I forced myself on her, that I was drunk and threatened her. I still don’t talk to my brother, he never believed me. They are married now. And its for that exact reason I don’t trust anyone. People are liars. And love is a lie.” He spat the last sentence out with a cold expression.

Your eyes widened. You couldn’t believe how much Hoseok had just opened up to you. It made it hard to be angry with him anymore in this moment.

“I-I’m sorry that happened to you” you stuttered

He shrugged his shoulders and stared out the windshield of his car. “It’s the past. But sometimes it does still bother me. I swore I’d never fall in love again. And that I’d never let someone fall in love with me. I would never let myself do what she did, taking someones virginity and tossing them aside like that.”

“Hoseok...I” you pursed your lips and debated on whether what you were about to say was too insensitive. “I’m sorry, but you do realize just because that's your story doesn’t mean that would be mine right? Or anyone else's if they fell in love, or lost their virginity. I’m not being tricked or deceived, and I wouldn't be broken hearted or anything if it was just a one time thing. I get that it meant a lot to you, but I still don’t think that really gives you an excuse to tell other people what it should mean to them”

He snapped his head to you, jaw dropping at your words. “You know you’re really dense. Don’t act like you know what you’re talking about” he hissed.

Your eyes narrowed and you immediately started getting out of his car. “No, you’re the dense one Hoseok. We all have sob stories in life. Not everyone lets it ruin them for anyone else. I’m going to lose my virginity one way or another and I’d appreciate if you stop trying to make it your business” and on that note you slammed the car door on him and rushed in to your apartment. Leaving him to think on what you’d just said.

It honestly baffled you that because of something that happened to him he felt entitled to an opinion on your life, you wanted to show him that he was wrong. That just because he had loved once and it went poorly didn’t mean that love was wrong. That just because he lost his virginity and it went badly didn’t mean that everyone who is a virgin was so sensitive about how their first time went. At this point in your life it didn’t need it to be special, you didn’t even need it to mean anything at all.

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That night when Hoseok got back to his house he was fuming. He knew he shouldn’t have done what he did. You made him lose all common sense. He was usually calm and collected, things like this didn’t get to him. He angrily tossed his keys on to his kitchen counter and stomped into his bedroom, throwing himself onto his bed and staring at the ceiling. He knew you were right, just because he felt how he did about first times being important and special didn’t mean that anyone else had to feel that way. He’d never pushed his opinions on someone else like that before. But with you, it was different. It was different because he wanted so badly for it to be him, and he hated himself for that. He knew what type of person he was, fuck em’ then leave before they woke up in the morning type of guy. What if you did end up liking him afterwards, that was a chance he didn’t want to take. In his mind he was incapable of ever returning that type of feeling to anyone. He’d never loved since that day.

He put his hands to his face dragging them down in frustration. He was slightly embarrassed that he’d told you about all of that, he didn’t even know why he did, he’d never told anyone about that.

What were you doing to him?

He pulled his phone out, maybe just getting off and going to bed was all he needed to reset and pretend today didn’t happen. He pulled up his usual genre of porn, something sub/dom related where the guy had the girl tied up and was using a vibrator on her, teasing her over and over not letting her reach her orgasm, grinning each time he deprived her of her high. Something Hoseok had done many times with his one night stands.

He unbuttoned his pants slipping them off and reaching his hand inside his boxers, palming his cock to warm himself up.

Once he was hard he wrapped his hand tightly around the base of his length, slowly stroking up and down as he watched the girl in the video begging her dom to let her cum. He loved to hear his subs beg for him. He closed his eyes for a moment to just listen to the whining of the girl in the video, and ended up picturing you whining, tied up and begging for him, pleading for him to make you cum. He remembered watching you cum that first night, your moans and your beautiful body. He pumped his cock faster at that thought tossing his head back as he got closer to cumming. He pictured you kissing him as he fingered you, moaning into his lips. This was something usually too vanilla for him to get off on, but when he imagined it was you, somehow it was the most erotic thing he’d ever felt. He lifted his hips slightly off the bed and moaned loudly as he reached his finnish. His legs were slightly shaking, he wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead with his non messy hand and took a few deep breaths.

As great as it was. He was disappointed in how that all just went. He had thought he could get his mind off of you by watching porn, but all he could think about was you. He’d never fantasized about someone like that before, not the way that he just did now…

He took a shower and cleaned himself up. After returning to his bed he let out a long sigh.

Love is a lie. Love is a lie. Love is a lie. A voice in his head repeated itself.

It was somewhat of a mantra of his. And it was an easy lifestyle to stick to, most subs didn’t want anything more than sex for the night and were quick to move on to the next dom. On the occasion where one got attached Hoseok was quick to cut ties and avoid her, it was so annoying when that happened.

Yet, why did a part of him want to keep seeing you...want to have you again and again and again. You were driving him crazy, making him second guess everything he stood for when it came to women. Was he starting to change his mind about letting himself have actually feelings for someone?

No. He couldn’t. Because if those feelings ever changed and he broke your heart, the heart of a girl who had lost her virginity to him, as his brother’s wife had done to him...he’d never be able to forgive himself.

-----------------------------------

The next day Hoseok texted Jin and asked him to meet up at a bar that was down the road from where he lived.

When Hoseok arrived Jin was already sat down with a tall beer in front of him. He sat down beside his friend and flagged down the bartender. “Whiskey please.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened. “You sure? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you drink anything but water!”

Hoseok nodded “I’m sure. I need it for what I want to talk to you about”

After getting a few drinks in and having some small talk about how things were going with Jin and Ashley’s relationship, Hoseok decided to finally go to the subject he had wanted to meet up to discuss. He told Jin about the feelings he was having about you, he didn’t quite get in to as much detail about his past as he had with you, mostly summarizing it into, ‘It just went badly when I lost mine’

Jin knew that his friend was a regular player, he’d never seen him out with the same girl twice so a lot of this was no surprise to him.

“So you’re just scared.” Jin said

“Scared?” Hoseok scrunched his eyebrows in thought. “I guess you could say that.”

“Hoseok I know y/n a bit, she's over at our place quite a lot. Ashley has told me a lot about her. I don’t know if it’s really my place to say this but I’m going to anyways. Y/n has had her fair share of her own heartbreaks. She was cheated on by basically the only guy she had ever been with. Walked in on the whole thing and all that. She was hurt but she honestly seemed to handle it well, she's a strong person. So I think if your concern here is that just because she's a virgin that you’d be the first one to break her heart or something you’ve been beat to it.” he shrugged “But I think the bigger thing here is that you’re scared she’ll hurt you”

“What?” Hoseok looked confused at his friend

“It sounds like someone hurt you, and now to prevent that from ever happening again you’ve shut yourself off from ever getting close to letting that happen again. I kinda get it. Love can be scary, I don't know how I’d handle it if Ash ever broke my heart. But those are chances you have to take, cuz if you don’t you could be missing out on the best decision of your life man.”

Hoseok thought hard about what his friend just said. Maybe he was right. He was scared. This was terrifying. The idea of either you or him getting hurt by getting involved with each other seemed too big of a risk to take. At the same time, like Jin said, what if the risk paid off, what if for the first time in his life Hoseok could actually fall in love with someone who returned those feelings? Was it too late now? The last time you saw him you were so mad at him.

Tomorrow he would tell you. Tomorrow he would confess these feelings eating him up inside.

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You were laying in bed watching your favorite drama, covers pulled up over your chest when you heard your doorbell ring. It was late in the evening and usually if Ash was coming over she’d text first.

You pulled a t-shirt on over your bare chest and grabbed some loose fitting pajama shorts putting them on as you walked to the door. You glanced through the peephole of your door to inspect the unexpected visitor. Hoseok? You debated on pretending not to be home but decided to see what he could possibly want.

You swung the door open with a sour “What.”

His face showed he was slightly taken aback by your attitude. Though you weren’t sure what he expected when the last time you saw him you were slamming a car door in his face.

“I- Can I come in?” he stuttered nervously.

“I guess…” You muttered. He was acting so strange you weren’t sure if you should but decided it couldn’t hurt to see what was up with him.

He slowly stepped in, he took off the raincoat he had been wearing and held it in his hand. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, his hair seemed wet from the apparent weather you were unaware of. You couldn’t help but take note of how handsome he looked like that, his wet hair sticking to his forehead in the most attractive way. You tried not to let it take away from the annoyance you were feeling.

You stood with your arms crossed facing him. “Okay...so?”

He inhaled deeply “I like you. A lot. Like...A lot. Shit um. First I should say I’m sorry, I know you’re mad at me for the other night. I was wrong, I just, I couldn’t bear to see you with anyone, but me” he said softly. You were shocked and confused, you let his words hang in the air for a long time before responding.

“I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t think of people that way, as like...your way of life or something” you slowly spoke

“I dont...I mean I didn’t. This is new, and I don’t really even know why.” He muttered “Thats a lie, I know why. You are so…” He paused “You are perfect, the way you talk, the little things you do. I think I fell head over heels that first night we met and I haven’t been the same since. I don’t really know how to handle this, how to go about this. I tried hard just to deny it was anything but that only seemed to make things worse. Seeing you with someone else really proved to me that what I’m feeling is that I don’t ever want to see you with anyone but me. I-” another deep breath “I don’t want to be with anyone but you” he stepped forward and grabbed your hand gently. “I’ve always said love is a lie. That I just didn’t believe in it. But now I’ve realized, love is a risk. It’s real and its terrifying, and what I feel for you scares me.”

Your eyes grew bigger the more he spoke, you tried to take in everything he’d just said.

“I realize how much of a risk it is, especially right now. I’m here pouring my heart out, and I don’t even know if you feel a thing for me. You probably only wanted to fuck that first night and here I am making this out to be more than it was” He groaned “I’m so stupid, I’m sorry. I said what I needed to say, I’m gonna go home and die from embarrassment” he shook his head, releasing your hand and starting to walk away.

“Wait!” you shot out and grabbed his hand back, pulling him to you. “I-I actually don’t know what to say” you admitted.

He stared at you blankly for a moment, wondering what was going through your mind.

You sighed, “I liked you right away on that date. I mean looks wise, you are a fucking 10” you motioned up and down to him.

He broke his blank expression and chuckled.

“I’m mad at you for the other night. But I kinda get it now, you’ve been dealing with a lot trying to make out your feelings. I don’t really know what to think. But, If you actually feel what you’re saying, I think you should know that I feel the same” you confessed.

And you knew you were telling the truth. You hadn’t totally realized it until now, but even through all his strange actions towards you, you couldn’t get him out of your mind. Him telling you that he liked you in a way he’d never thought was possible for him anymore had you floating on cloud nine.

He grinned widely. “You’re sure?”

You nodded shyly, now suddenly feeling self conscious about what to do next.

He stepped in close to you, reaching up and cupping the side of your face in one of his hands, tilting your head to his. “Y/N. Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper.

Without answering you leaned into him and pressed your lips to his. You kissed slowly and passionately, different from the hungry lustful kisses that you had shared with him the first night you’d met. He wrapped an arm around your waist, a flat hand on your back pulling you tightly into him, his other hand trailing from where it had held your chin to the back of your head. He ran his fingers lightly through your hair as he continued planting loving kisses on your lips. You could feel the honest emotion behind these actions. He had meant what he said.

He obviously wasn’t just telling you what you wanted to hear to get you into bed with him or something like that, since you knew how he felt about that. At that thought you quickly pulled back from the kiss,

“Wait...Does that mean you want to…” you trailed off.

He cocked his head to the side in confusion “Huh?”

“You want me? Like...you want to have sex with me?” you blushed as you told him what you had meant.

“Oh” he stepped back and looked at you with a serious yet caring expression. “I do...If you want to of course. I did think about this.” he sighed “I am going to try and hold back on a lot of my urges, hopefully one day we can get into some of the things I’m in to” he winked at you “But It will be more than pleasurable to me to have you even if it is fairly gentle compared to what I’m used to”

You cringed a little at his words. What he’s used to...What if you weren’t enough for him. What if it wasn’t enough for him, or you didn’t end up liking the things he wanted. You had told him before that you would try, but now, you were nervous that if you didn’t he would reject you again and go find someone else to please him in the ways you couldn’t as your ex had done.

“Hey” he soothed, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, noticing your worried expression. “I’m going to enjoy it. As long as you are enjoying it” he smiled

You nodded and nervously tugged at the bottom of your shirt, pulling it over your head and standing in front of him now completely topless.

He smirked and raised his eyebrows “Oh now?” he teased.

You covered your breasts with your arms and pouted. “Or not I guess” you mumbled

He grabbed your wrists one in each hand and gently pulled your arms back down to your sides.

“I’m kidding.” he kissed you on your neck and moaned softly “You’re so beautiful” he whispered

He kissed you on your shoulder and trailed his kisses down until he reached one of your nipples, planting a gentle kiss on your sensitive bud. You shuddered at the feeling, and you could feel him smile against your skin before he started to lightly suck and nip at your breasts, always keeping the one not to his lips cupped in his hand.

He paused and brought his head up to yours “Want to go to your bedroom now?” he suggested.

You nodded nervously. As you guided him to your room you cursed yourself in your mind for not having a cleaner room at the moment.

Once you were in your room he glanced around quickly and chuckled “It seems very you”

“I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment but I’ll pretend it was” you laughed in return.

Suddenly he had you pulled back into a soft kiss. “I don’t think I could ever do anything but compliment you” he kissed neck once again “or please you. Let me make you feel good” he moaned.

You pulled back from him and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. He lifted his arms up and let you lift it off of him. Damn. It almost wasn’t fair someone this perfectly sculpted existed, he put models and athletes to shame looking like he did. You put a hand on his chest still marveling at his figure. He grinned “Ah, it feels so good having you touch me like this” he closed his eyes as you trailed your hand over his abs. He brought his head down onto your shoulder and nuzzled into your neck leaving a few kisses as he did. He then took your arms and positioned them to wrap around his neck, snaking his hands down to your sides and lifting you up in the air. His mouth again found yours, “put your legs around me.” he muttered softly between heavy kisses. You did as he said, once your legs were wrapped around him your core was pressed into the hardness you could feel very distinctively through his sweatpants. He placed both of his hands on your ass to help hold you up, and started rolling your hips into his front, moaning at the friction it was causing. You felt him grow even more against you. You ached for him to be inside of you, you didn’t know what it would be like, but you expected nothing less than heaven with how things were going so far.

As if he was reading your mind Hoseok walked you over to your bed, gently placing you down and climbing on top of you, continuing to grind against you. “I want you so badly y/n” he moaned, bringing eyes level with yours “But you can still say no any time if you start to not like it okay? I’m going to be gentle and try not to dom. If I accidentally get carried away or do something you don’t like let me know.”

You nodded and reached up to kiss him on the nose. He beamed at that cute little action of yours. “God damn it, if anyone else had ever done that I would’ve been so pissed. But you. I don’t even understand what this is that you’re doing to me” he chuckled and planted a kiss right back on your nose. He crawled off of you and stood up to take off his pants, dropping them along with his boxers to the floor casually and quickly. Your eyes widened and you let out a small gasp, his cock was huge, and perfect, you got slightly nervous for how well you’d be able to receive his enormous member with it being your first time. Again as if he could read your mind “I’m going to go slow okay, you’ll adjust” he reassured with a wink.

He climbed back on to the bed and locked his fingers on to the hem of your shorts and panties, rolling them both off of your body at the same time and tossing them to the floor. He spread your legs apart with and kneeled between your thighs, palming himself with a devilish expression on his face. He lowered himself so that his head was between your thighs, pecking light kisses getting closer and closer to...there. You let out a gasp as he kissed your dripping center. He did a long lick up your slit, his tongue brushing against your clit. With one hand he spread apart your lips giving himself better access to pleasure you with his tongue. His circling motions on your clit started off slow then got faster and faster. With the hand that was there he took a finger and slowly inserted it inside of you. You moaned loudly unable to contain yourself at the feeling that seemed to run over your whole body at this action of his. “Y-yes, oh my god Hoseok” you gasped out shakily.

He purred into you, his moan vibrating against you making it feel all the more amazing. He slowly pumped his finger in and out along with his tongue circling your clit. After a few moments of this he inserted another finger curling it with the other one as he moved in and out of you.

“I-I’m g-gonna” you breathed out “H-hoseok don’t stop, oh my god d-don’t stop”

Hoseok loved seeing you like this, he loved making you feel like this. It surprised him how much he was close to cumming himself without you even touching him, just from hearing you moan and beg like this for him.

You came hard, hips bucking up into his mouth and fingers as waves of pleasure surged through you. He pulled back from between your legs and moved up to kiss you on the cheek. “You are so amazing” He muttered

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” you chuckled.

He let out a soft laugh and smiled shaking his head at you.

“I think I may have had more fun than you did” he sat up and gripped his cock in on hand loosely pumping up and down his length. “Ready? You still okay with this?” he asked

You nodded excitedly “Yes please”

“Mmm. I love your manners baby girl” he moaned. “You’ll learn that's always a good way to make me happy.” he winked at you.

He now hovered over you, lowering his cock to meet your entrance. “I’m going to start slow I promise, don’t be scared to tell me if its too much”

You nodded again. Then suddenly you felt him start to press into you, slowly, as he said he would.

“Relax baby” he whispered and brought his hand to the top of your head, running fingers gently through your hair.

You did your best to relax despite your nervousness. It seemed to help. He now was about half way into you, slowly pressing further in. He kissed you on the cheek and checked your expression to make sure you weren’t in pain or uncomfortable. Upon seeing that you seemed to be doing fine he pushed himself all the way in.

You let out a soft yelp. It hurt slightly but not too unbearable. He stopped moving and stilled for a moment letting you adjust.

“Tell me when you want me to move” he nuzzled his face lovingly into your neck.

“You can move Hoseok. Please move” you moaned.

Instantly as if he had been waiting for years to hear those words from you, his hips slowly started to roll, as he moved in and out of you.

“Fuck” he grunted out. “You are so fucking tight wow” he gulped as he continued his slow pace.

“You can move faster” you gasped out, loving how he felt filling you up like this. You wanted more, you wanted to please him as he pleasured you so well. He nodded and sat up a bit, pulling one of your legs up and wrapping it around him, adjusting himself to go faster and even deeper in to you.

He started to move his cock in and out at an accelerated pace. You felt yourself clench around him as you started to approach another orgasm. He definitely was able to feel you do that as instantly another “Fuck” escaped his lips.

“I-I’m gonna cum” you moaned.

Hoseok fought the urge to deny you and make you beg for it. Another time, he told himself as he shook the thought away. This time was all about making you feel good.

“Cum for me baby” he softly spoke, panting with his head buried into your neck.

At his words you felt yourself fall over the edge. Your orgasm was all he needed to push him over as well. He quickly pulled out and pumped his cock quickly “S-shit” he stuttered, legs shaking and his face flushed with intense pleasure, his come spilling onto your stomach.

“Woah” you muttered in awe. “I’ve been missing out huh” you chuckled.

Hoseok collapsed onto you not minding laying in the mess he’d created on your stomach “Mmm” his breathing starting to slow down from its quickened gasps. He rolled you over with him so you both were on your sides facing each other. He kissed you long and beautifully. “What I feel for you...right now.” He shook his head with a smile “Y/N I really think I love you.”

You grinned back at him “Hoseok, I love you too” kissing him on his nose again.

He returned your gesture with a kiss on your forehead and then pulling your head into his chest bringing you into a tight hug.

“Mine.” he mumbled.

“Yours” you replied.

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #jhope imagines #jhope x reader #jhope x you #hoseok smut #jhope smut #taehyung x reader

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 5 years

Text

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2020 #22: In which Cameron and Donna get dressed

[CN: gender non-conformity and related bodily discomfort with gendered clothing; non-graphic references to being harassed for gender non-conformity]

Ed’s note: @dealanexmachina sent me a prompt, and this is a follow up to the post it originally inspired!

(PREVIOUSLY)

Two nights before the gala, Cameron showed up to Donna’s house for their nightly work date carrying a garment bag. “Uh, is it cool if I leave this here? And like, maybe I could just show up early and get dressed here, before the party?” Donna eyed the garment bag with apparent interest. “I called Risa, and her partner, we went shopping, and I saw their tailor.”

Donna’s face lit up. “So it worked out then? That’s great! Let me put this in my closet….” Donna got up and started toward her room, and Cameron went with her. When they got there, Cameron handed the bag over, and Donna hung it from a hook on the back of the door. Then, she asked, “Hey, can I look? I’m curious about what you wound up picking out.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Cameron had said, uncertain.

Donna unzipped the bag, and when she saw the gray blazer inside, she smiled.

Nervously, Cameron laughed, “What?”

“Nothing, it just reminds me of a blazer you used to wear when we first moved out here,” Donna said. “The one that fit you really well. You had some stuff back then that started to cross the line from ‘oversized’ to ‘it looks too big on her,’ but, you also had stuff that looked really nice on you.” Donna gently touched the blazer’s lapel, and without meaning to, imagined smoothing out the blazer while Cameron was actually wearing it, and Cameron smiling back at her as she did so. Face feeling warm, Donna zipped up the bag. “So how was it? Shopping, I mean? It wasn’t terrible, was it?”

“Eh,” Cameron sighed. “It wasn’t terrible, Risa actually came with me?”

“Aw!” Donna exclaimed. “I wish I could’ve been there!”

Looking very uncomfortable, Cameron had said, “It was a lot. It wasn’t just shopping, it was like…what I imagine therapy is like. And why I’m not interested in therapy.”

“Oh?” Donna frowned.

Cameron shook her head. “There was just, a lot of ‘why do you think wearing dresses and other women’s clothes causes you so much discomfort? Why do you think you’re feeling discomfort right now? What are you worried about, Cameron, why does this scare you?’ It was a long day.”

“Oh. Well, did it work?” Donna asked.

Tentatively, Cameron said, “I found something to wear, so, I guess?”

When Cameron showed up at Donna’s house, two days later, an entire hour before the gala was slated to begin, the only thing more shocking than her punctuality was how she looked: Donna, in a dressing gown herself, her hair already set in curlers, opened her front door expecting to find a delivery person or early guest, but there was Cameron, in a button down flannel shirt and her overalls, carrying her backpack as always, but with her hair clearly just washed, moussed, blow dried, and smoothed into place, and her (barely detectable) makeup already done.

“Okay, the shocked look on your face? Is not a compliment,” Cameron snapped.

“It’s not shock!” Donna had protested. “It’s just…you look great.”

“Well,” Cameron pushed past her, “when I get back to the salon, I’ll be sure to let everyone there know you approve of my makeover.”

Haley and Vanessa had just sat down at the dining room table with Vanessa’s tarot cards and guide book. They watched as Cameron came in, Donna following her. Vanessa whistled, and called out, “Foxy lady!”

Cameron blushed, but then she stopped and turned to Donna. “See? That felt like a compliment.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Not that I came here like this looking for compliments.”

Vanessa and Haley looked at each other, and then back at Cameron and Donna.

Unsure of what else to say, Donna defaulted to momsplaining mode. “So, Cameron is here, for the gala!”

“Gala tiiiime, excellennnnt!” Vanessa sang.

“Are those the same overalls you wore last year? When you fell into the pool?” Haley asked.

“A fashion statement that’s bold in its casual whimsy,” Vanessa said.

“She’s got a more formal outfit to wear,” Donna said. “She went shopping with Risa.”

Voice full of sudden yearning, Haley said, “I wanna go shopping with Risa,”

“Can I also get in on that?” Vanessa asked. “Because I’d like to see that.”

“Would you, though?” Cameron squinted. Clutching at the straps of her backpack, she warned them, “Risa doesn’t let you just pick things out and try them on. She makes you talk about your feelings.”

In unison, Vanessa and Haley both said, “That sounds like her.”

“Well prom is coming up, right sweetie?” Donna asked. Haley gave her a look, and then Donna said, “There’s also graduation. Maybe if Risa wouldn’t mind, we could all go?”

Flatly, Cameron said, “I love you all, but that still sounds like hell on earth.”

Vanessa and Haley laughed out loud, and Donna, struggling to suppress her own laughter, grimaced broadly. “Speaking of which!” she said. “It’s almost time. Wanna go get dressed?”

Haley and Vanessa looked at each other again.

Still feeling incredibly self-conscious and put out by the entire thing, Cameron said, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Okay! You girls have fun, and, I guess we’ll see you later?” Donna said.

“We will definitely be here,” Vanessa said.

Donna started toward her bedroom, and Cameron went with her. Haley watched them, and under her breath, she said, “God I wish Joanie was here to see this.”

Vanessa smirked at her.

In her bedroom, Donna grinned, “You really do look very nice. I know it’s different and that we’re teasing you about it, but it’s not because it didn’t turn out right.” She quietly closed the door most of the way without shutting it entirely. She turned back to Cameron, and said, “We’re mostly teasing you because you seem like you kind of hate it.”

Cameron shrugged off her backpack. Face scrunched, she said, “I do kind of hate it. I hate how it always feels like I’m dressing up for someone else, or some secret universal beauty pageant, even though I’m not really.”

Donna sat down lightly at her vanity. “Well, in that case, next year, change of plans. Instead of a gala, I’ll have a hayride, so you can wear your overalls, and I can wear my cowboy boots that still haven’t seen the light of day in this state.”

Cameron smiled tentatively, arms crossed over her chest again. “I’ll invest in a new flannel shirt for the occasion.”

Picking up an eye shadow brush, Donna said, “Your clothes are still hanging in the same spot in the walk-in, if you wanna get dressed in there?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Cameron said. She looked around the room uncertainly, as if looking for directions, or maybe an excuse to do something else, and then she turned and went into the closet.

Donna swept some slightly shimmery taupe eye shadow onto her right eyelid, and then blended it out through the crease. She did the same to the second eye, and then picking up a black pencil eye liner, she awkwardly said, “So this is fun, huh…? Just…gettin’ ready together…having’ fun….”

As she unbuttoned her shirt, Cameron said, “Yes, my high school dreams of being best friends with the pretty, popular girls is finally coming true.”

Donna used a stiffer brush to smudge the minimal amount of eye liner she’d just applied close to her right eye’s lash line. She pictured Cameron, struggling to put on clothes she didn’t love for a party that she didn’t want to go to. “You know, I’m glad you’re here?” she called out. “I really hope it won’t be completely miserable for you, though.”

Pulling on her brand new trousers, Cameron said, “Well, there’s gonna be food, and you’ll be there. It’ll be like every night that I’m here, just with like 50 other people. I’ll manage.”

Curling her eye lashes now, Donna gazed into the mirror, and again, without really meaning to, imagined Cameron, on the other side of her closet door, carefully getting dressed for her gala, and was overwhelmed by a surge of affection. She felt herself start to flush, and then looked in the mirror, and saw her cheeks glowing red. She took a deep breath, and said, “Well, I appreciate it. And who knows, maybe you’ll even have fun, and meet some new people?” She moved on to applying her mascara as calmly as she could.

Tucking her shirt into her trousers, Cameron grinned, “Stranger things have happened, right?”

Donna was tapping on some concealer when Cameron quietly stepped back into the bedroom a couple minutes later. She sat down on the bench in front of Donna’s bed, and pulled a pair of pointy black brogues out of her bag.

Donna glanced back over her shoulder. “Those look really nice.” When Cameron didn’t say anything, Donna asked her, “So, when Risa asked you what you’re ‘scared of,’ and what’s making you ‘uncomfortable.’ What did you say?”

Lacing the first of her shoes, Cameron said, “I told her that I’m scared of looking and feeling silly and like an alien, just like everyone else is. And then she was all, ‘No, be more specific. Dig deep for me, Cameron.’” It had been scary at the time, but Cameron grinned. She put on her other shoe, and said, “So I told her about how finding pants that fit me is really difficult, because they’re always too short, and usually, they’re either weird and baggy, or they’re too tight and show how skinny my legs are. To which Risa said, ‘Well my heart bleeds for you, every pair of paints making you look tall and slim must be a horrendous burden to bear.’”

Donna giggled so hard that she doubled over slightly, and had to put down the blush compact she’d just picked up.

Cameron sat up, and was quiet for a second, as she listened to Donna, and watched her shoulders shake with quiet laughter. When she finally snorted and then made herself stop, Cameron continued. “Uh, I also realized that I’m weird about fabrics? It’s not just how fancy, formal women’s clothes are cut, the fabrics are like, itchy and weird to me, and like, just thinking about it makes me weirdly anxious?”

Sympathetically, as she blended out her blush, Donna said, “Some fabrics really do feel horrendous, and they don’t breathe well enough.”

Donna had just barely finished her sentence when Cameron blurted out, “When I was a kid people used to make fun of me for looking like a boy. When I was in high school I realized that what they were really saying was that I looked like, you know. Like I didn’t like boys, and that I must like girls.”

Donna looked up from the three lipsticks she’d been trying to choose from, and half turned back toward Cameron. “What do you mean, what people were saying? Did people actually say things about that to you?”

“People mostly thought it, I think,” Cameron said, hunching over in her seat. “There was this one guy I went to high school with who used to bother me about it, like, a lot, like it felt like he lived to bug me about it. My guidance counselor said that maybe it was because he had a crush on me. Which, the feeling really wasn’t even remotely mutual.”

Donna, both lost for words and still struggling to pick a lip color, didn’t say anything. Haltingly, Cameron added, “It took me a really long time to admit this, part of why it bothered me so much is that I wasn’t really interested in boys. And it felt like something must be wrong with me. And pretending that I was didn’t help, it just made me seem weirder, and more awkward, and, fake.”

Rolling her eyes slightly, Donna said, “ I wasn’t interested in boys in high school, either.” She finally decided on the deep rosy nude lipstick and swiped it on.

Surprised, Cameron sat up. “Really?”

Donna scoffed into her vanity mirror as she started to pull the rollers out of her hair. “I mean, I dated some, in high school, and I fooled around with a couple of boys. But it wasn’t for them, it was for me, because I wanted to go out, and because I wanted to try things, and seeing what being that kind of girl was like. I didn’t really like anyone until college, I was on my own, I was studying what I was interested in, and I met Gordon, and….”

“Your astrophysicist?” Cameron finished for her.

“Yes,” Donna said quietly. She stood up quickly, raked her hair into place with her fingers, and said, “I’m gonna get dressed, though.” She disappeared into her closet, where she started to hyperventilate for a moment, before she made herself calm down and focus on putting on her dress, and stepping into her shoes, and going back out into her room.

“Hey,” she said, trying to sound relaxed. “Uh, I’m almost ready, I’m just gonna put on some jewelry, so....” She hurried back to her vanity, where she put on a watch.

“Okay,” Cameron stood up. She started to pull her blazer.

Donna turned back to her as she was putting in the second of a pair of small gold hoop earrings. Momentarily forgetting what she was doing, Donna said, “Wow.”

She was wearing the blazer over a plain black crew neck top, which was tucked into her high-waisted gray pleated silk tweed trousers, which were being held up by a pair of plain black suspenders. As if on cue, the color rose in Cameron’s cheeks. “What?”

“Nothing,” Donna shook her head. “You just do that so well.”

Cameron cackled as she smoothed out her clothes. “Do what well, exactly? Look confused about my gender and sexuality?”

Donna didn’t want to be overly serious, but she also couldn’t bring herself to laugh. “You look good, Cam,” she grinned. “Not every woman can carry that off.”

Cameron slid her hands into her pockets. “Thanks.”

Donna stepped tentatively toward her bedroom door, and then she stopped to look in the full-length mirror that was hung there. Having worn a long, flowing, sleeveless, bright red dress the previous year, Donna had chosen to go shorter, slimmer, and darker for this gala. A deep wine red sheath with a slightly looser bodice and sleeves, the hemline fell several inches above her knee, and the neckline was high. Donna wasn’t typically one to second guess these kinds of choices, but she looked in the mirror, and worried that the dress was too short. She smoothed out the bottom half of the dress, hoping it would look longer, and then started to compulsively smooth her hair down.

Exasperated, Cameron joined her in front of the mirror. Firmly, she said, “Donna. You look fine.” She looked into the mirror so she could catch Donna’s eye, but then saw the both of them, standing next to each other. We match, Cameron realized. They didn’t literally match, but they looked like they went together. Cameron had never felt that way standing next to anyone else.

Donna looked at her, saw that she was looking in the mirror, and then looked into the mirror with her. I do look fine, she thought. And we really look nice together. Donna smiled at the mirror.

“You look better than fine,” Cameron said, feeling mildly anxious. “You look really nice, as always.”

“Thank you,” Donna said. “Shall we?”

Cameron nodded, and Donna stepped forward and pulled open the door. She walked through it, and Cameron followed her.

#...so a lot of this was really just me wanting to reflect on cam's s3 wardrobe and her promo portrait especially #no ragerts!#even with how long this got!#and how much trouble i had picking their clothes!#femslash february #femslash february 2020 #fic #fan fiction #cameron howe #donna clark #donna emerson #haley clark #vanessa!

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