#I think she deserves everything she wants forever ♡♡♡

[heartbeetz]

Also I do think somebody (or multiple somebodies) should selfship with her. Btw.

[ophelieverse]

please please please i need you to write something for my man Aegon I love how you write for him😭

➳♡before fire takes it all

Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader

-summary:normally Aegon would ignore Helaena and her strange behavior but,since his wife Y/n got pregnant,he can’t help but think about the words his sister said the moment he announced the news.

-warnings:set in season 1,pre blood and cheese and luke death,teen pregnancy(both Aegon and reader are sixteen),talk about child death,Aegon being paranoid and keeping secrets,Helaena predictions,classic asoiaf warnings,reader can be of whatever house you want.

-thank you so much for the request and let me know what you guys think,send you all my love🩷

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It hurts.

Love,Aegon thinks.

Love hurts.

His heart bursts,his heart explodes,his heart climbs down his throat and assaults his temples, squeezing and compressing them until his eyes darken,until it scars the tormented irises and pupils.

Loving too much is fatal.Or not?

Isn't that so?

Live well,live badly.Does he lives at all?

“I don't know”,his conscience responds.

Aegon would like to know,but he doesn’t know.He doesn’t even think he knows what the right way to live is anymore,he’s terrified that he doesn’t know what it means to live anymore.

How can he live?How?

How can he pretend that everything is alright?That everything,in the future,is going to be alright?

Normally Aegon wouldn’t think about these sort of things,he used to live day by day dictated by his own selfish desires.But since he had got married two years ago,something in him changed completely.He started to understand what it meant to love and live for someone else,to wake up every morning early to just watch her sleep so soundly next to him,to stay sober at every hour so that he could remember her kind words,her sweet face and calm voice.Wanting to be a different version,a better one,of himself only because she showed him that he deserved happiness and love like everyone else and in return he only wanted to give her the best he could.

But golden necklaces,earrings,beautiful flowers and the most expensive dresses could not fill the hole that was slowly opening under their feet,a hidden tragedy ready to swallow them whole and to break their hearts and souls forever.

Aegon wasn’t one to listen to his family,he longed for his mother love and his father attention,he despised his older half sister,made fun of his younger brothers and mostly ignored his other sister.Only this time,something happened,something made him look in Helaena direction for the first time and his ears had caught every single word that she had whispered to herself.

His wife,Lady Y/n,the most beautiful and kind woman,a innocent young girl with a heart too big for her body,was pregnant.It was true,what they said about expecting women,she was glowing like the most precious diamond and her happiness about becoming a mother,the mother of the lover of her life child,couldn’t be contained by her shiny eyes and big smile.

«The Maester said that signs suggest is going to be a boy.»Aegon had announced one day at the breakfast table.

His mother had smiled kindly and Aemond had nodded giving his shoulder a warm squeeze.It was still too early in the pregnancy to understand whether is was going to be boy or a girl,but still Aegon had hoped that the Maester was right.Having a son was a dream that he never dared to imagine or to say out loud until then,the living proof that he was going to be better than his father ever was for him.

Helaena was sitting next to him,quietly playing with a wooden butterfly,all lost in the secret gardens of her mind when she muttered something: «A son for a son.»without even understanding her own words.

As their mother and brother were talking,Aegon turned slightly toward her.Usually he wouldn’t pay attention to his sister and her strange behavior,he was disgusted by all of those insects that she so lovingly brought everywhere like some pet on a leash and he was so relieved when his father had betrothed him to Y/n instead that her.He wouldn’t even lister or look over her if in the past,her silent words of warning weren’t revealed to be the sour truth.Aemond had lost an eye just like she had said.Maybe if back then he had listened to her,he would have helped his brother and nothing would have happened.

«What does it mean?»Aegon had whispered to her confused.

Helaena wasn’t looking at him,her fingers gracefully tracing the toy«They only want the boy,not the girl.»she said as if she didn’t heard him,nodding to herself.

Aegon left the spoon that he was holding,a sensation of nausea was crawling up his stomach,his heart beating faster«The boy?My boy?Who wants him?»he asked.

His sister stayed quiet,every second felt like an agony for him.His mind became of stone and a part of his was laughing for the fact that he was actually really listening to her,to her crazy words and empty head.But still,something,maybe his father instinct that was already part of him,told him that what she was saying was another dark truth.

A boy and a girl,she had said.He was going to have both,twins.He couldn’t even imagine it,praying that they would take after their mother soft and gentle spirit but also his fierce nature.Y/n would have been delighted to know that they were about to have twice of the love,but what would she said if she knew that someone wanted their son?

«The rats.»Helaena answered then,her eyes bore holes in his as she turned to look at her older brother,shiny lilac flowers watered in fear and condolences.

It had been months since that conversation and Aegon couldn’t stop to think about it.Every night,as he watched Y/n sleep next to him while he so gently caressed her belly where two new lives were growing,he could still feel his sister horrified stare on him and her heavy words in his ears.

Y/n is talking to Aegon,while they were lying under the covers of their bed.Her head is on his chest,her hair smelled of flowers and peaches,her voice sleepy and always so tender as his hand was staying on her swollen stomach.She's talking to him about her day and he can't listen to her,he can't even see her behind his pale eyelashes that lower,behind his tired eyelids that are threatening to close tightly.

With the fingers of his free hand he massage them,the nail of his index finger finds a tear that was hidden there,at the corner of the right eye,and uprooting it,let it be dried out by air.

Aegon was exhausted.He had difficulty to sleep when every sound made him jump,every shadow in the corner gave him a heart attack.

He would like to stop thinking,he would like to find a way to turn off his mind,to blow up the candle that kept his brain from sleeping and this crazy thought makes him understand that he had become even more incredibly pathetic than he already was.

Aegon was terrorized.If he already ignored Helaena,now he was avoiding her like the plague in fear that she could say something else,or worse,talk about her thoughts to Y/n.

Y/n,his beautiful and sweet wife,already had so much to think about.Being eight months pregnant was taking a toll on her,even though she never stopped smiling,he could see that she was tired and that her body couldn’t bare it anymore.He couldn’t let her worry about something that his weird sister said to him,not when the Maester said that she needed peace,calmness and affection.And even if he hadn’t said that,how could Aegon tell her what was keeping him awake at night?

He set more and more knights to follow his wife around to make sure that nothing happened to her and his children,the Maester came to check on her at least once a day and when he wasn’t with her,his mother would keep her company in the solarium.He had personally hired people to hunt the rats of the Red Keep.Aegon so often dreamed of being just like the armors that Ser Arryk wears,cold, motionless,empty,that he has come to believe that it would be beautiful,it would be fulfilling,to be something without emotions and rest in a corner without light.

Aegon had still to meet his son,both of his children,after he had dreamed of him,of them,for so long.And yet already someone wanted to take his baby away from him.

The flashes of the veins on his forehead tingle and he clash,he crush himself,against an imaginary expanse of water that slaps his brain,crushes his lungs with long ivory tusks,disfigures his face.

Aegon was blocked.

He was stuck in some claustrophobic scribbled box,in a rusty bubble of his faulty soul,and he was afraid see beyond.But he could see the future,the one that Helaena had tried to warn him about.

He could see beyond and,the certainty is disconcerting,he clearly see that the worst nightmare of any human being,what wakes up men in the middle of the night and scares children with simple shadows,is the awareness of being chased:no one can ever escape from themselves,no one has ever escaped from destiny.

Not even him,especially him.

Because Aegon knew already,tasting it on the tip of his tongue,that what will happen is was going to be his fault.Certainly not because of Y/n.

«Am I boring you?»Y/n voice was tired but still sweet«Forgive me,my days are monotonous,predictable and highly boring.»she huffed,caressing his hand above her stomach.

Ever since she had started showing,her husband treated her like the finest and most delicate porcelain.All she could do during the day was read in their chambers,walk through the gardens and pray with the Queen.Not exactly a vivacious life,especially since Ser Arryk followed her every move.

She yawns,she apologizes,and Aegon finally slam the lumpy eyelashes and look at her.

Y/n is smiling,innocent,carrying his children and then his body moves by itself,he act instinctively, and get her closer to him.

A hand behind her nape,a strong and fast grip, almost stuttered,and Aegon feel her words on the palate,he eat them between his lips moving on her open mouth.He kiss her badly,and he hurt himself,he will hurt both of them,he kiss her following the dull rhythm of his ears,he kiss her and he pass the noise of his thoughts to her.

Aegon feels a hole in the center of his throat,a knot of cries,and this makes him sway and covers his eyes with torn red lightning here and there,it breaks his mind.Yet he keep kissing her.He have to kiss her.

Kissing Y/n scratches his soul,kissing her stirs up his fears and reminds him,in the pause of one of her breath,the so natural way in which pleasure and pain mix,get tangled,whenever pieces of skin graze and play with the tongues and crests of a fire.Fingertips caressing purple flames,white sheets reduced to blackened shreds,a plate of ice lying on the jigular.

Kissing Y/n now is like taking a sip of salt.Filling her mouth,having her under his palms,feeling the boiling heat of her cheeks against his nose and against his upper lip.

Y/n forces Aegon to give her every good part of himself,even those he thought were lost by now,and she does it with twisting tongues or with an annoying clash of teeth.All it takes is a simple touch and he’s willing to give her the world.She makes him wanting to be a better person and he so scared to fail her,that he wouldn’t be able to protect her and the most precious things that they created together.

«Aegon.»she whispered on his lips,eyes fluttered closed.

«I love you.»he said without thinking«I love you and our children.And I didn't think I could ever love,not this way.»he confessed,his voice trembling as his mouth was on hers again.

«I love you too.Are you alright sweetheart?»Y/n asked placing a hand on his warm cheek,she could read him like a open book but sometimes even her couldn’t understand him completely.

Aegon wished he could tell her all about what was going on in his mind.To share with her his deepest fears,to let her hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright and that they will be safe and together for all of their lives.

But when she starts kissing him in a different way,like a helpless girl who would let herself do anything from him,when she starts kissing him with a teenage heat,a heat so in love and so lost, then he would like to do something else.

He would like to yell all the terrible words that Helaena told him,he would like to tug on her and burst her stupid and crazy soap bubbles in front of her eyes and he would like to do it just to remind her who he really was.To remind his sweet Y/n that so willingly loved,accepted and cherished him,that believed that with him nothing could touch her,that he was still a dragon and dragons are known to burn people.

Aegon doesn’t answer her,he just lets his forehead on hers with his eyes closed.

«You don’t have to worry.»Y/n murmured against his skin«You are not like your father and our children already know that,they love you just like I do.»she promised him,their hands interlaced on her belly.

He had voiced his concerns about fatherhood the moment she told him that she was with child,his child.Children now.And she had spent countless nights reassuring him that he was going to be a good father,a better one,unlike his.That he was going to be there for them,but now he knows that he can’t escape his own fate.His father shadow will forever be there to remind him that they are just the same:bound to fail their families.

“Stop it,please.Stop holding my heart so tight in your hands,that's enough.”Aegon thought.

It was in moments like these that Aegon remembered that Y/n was just a girl,a frightened sixteen years old who lives every second with her chest open,her heart too visible to anyone,too exposed.The feelings,the emotions,painted between her bright eyes and lips,make her an easy target,a sacrificial lamb,a too good person who can easily be stabbed in the back.

Her goodness and naivety makes her vulnerable and Aegon knows it,Gods,he knows it.

Because Y/n is not,in the slightest,capable of defending herself,she is not even able to understand the reality of the universe,she does not come to terms with the subtle and treacherous truths.She does not accept the existence of evil in the world,she does not accept the possibility that often what is considered good and right,is not really good,is not really right.

So how could Aegon get her away from the black that drips from his nails,scars,thoughts?Y/n thinks she knows how dark his soul is,she thinks she's got it,but he know she doesn’t.

It will never be like this.

«Aegon.»she calls for him again as soon as she realizes that his mind is wandering too far.

Y/n throws his name on his skin and he swallow the panic that warms his esophagus,which runs through his every rib,as he block her head in his hands,almost in a trap.

Aegon push her to lie on the mattress,make her collapse between the pillows almost as if he had beaten her in a duel,and he hovers on top of her relaxed body,carefully holding her stomach.

Y/n doesn't tremble.

He’s are literally assaulting her and she lets him do it,she agrees,she welcomes him between her legs,in her heart,in her mouth that moves a little away from his and then falls on his eyelids that are still closed.

Aegon wish he could tear his eyes out,blind himself with huge metal spikes.He doesn’t let anyone get so close to him,he’d never done it and now more than before he wished didn’t do it.Because now they would see it,they already saw it.It was evident,under the lights and everyone eyes that his legacy was about to be born and die all in once.

Even the rats will see it.If someone dared to direct their steps towards Aegon,if someone dared even raise their head towards him,they would see his pupils and find Y/n and their children in there.

At the center of all his thoughts,of all his hopes:the end of an entire life that has bent over itself in the hope of scraping together some more time and living it with them.

So what's wrong?What binds his eyelashes in a white spider web?Could Helaena be right or he was being paranoid again?She was right about the fact that Y/n was carrying twins,the Maester had confirmed it months ago,but could she be right about the rest?

Then he felt it,against his warm palm and his heart skip a beat.A little kick,yet strong and determined to be felt.

«Looks like someone woke up.»Y/n giggled,looking down at her body.

«I didn’t mean to wake them.I’m sorry.»is all that Aegon can whisper and he doesn’t even know what he’s really apologizing for.

Y/n listens to him and suddenly recognizes something in the tone of his voice.She relaxes her limbs under him even more,completely wipes away any trace of tension as if someone had just cut the thin threads that moved her body,and she sulks as she touches his lilac eyes that he still deny her,stubbornly.

«Why are you so sad?What happened?»she said,concern covering all her beautiful face.

It’s not what happened,but what could happen.

Aegon forced a smile on his lips«A bad dream.That's all.»he lies,shaking his head.

Thats what he prayed every night,that it was all a nightmare and that he would wake up soon.

Y/n rubs her fingertips on his eyelashes and he feel her lips lying against his cheekbone.She’s smiling.

«Don't worry.I just found the last sleep crumbs that were hiding from you and threw them away. They were the ones who held back the bad dream and now they are gone.»she explained to him,peppering sweet kisses on his face.

Aegon eyelids rise on their own and he clash with the flickering image of his wife looking at him and bringing to his face her index finger on which one of his eyelashes is placed,almost a crescent moon caught in the air and hovering towards the earth.

«Do you want to make a wish?My mother always told me to do it,but I have to admit that almost none of my wishes ever came true in this way. Maybe I was asking for impossible things,out of my reach.Same thing with the shooting stars.Do you want to try anyway?»Y/n was rumbling,now he remembered why she was friends with his sister.

Aegon leverage his elbows,without getting too far away from her and look at her strangely«What?»he asked confused.

His cheeks mottled red and it seems to him that the way she bites her lips is yet another punch against his anesthetized emotions.

«Forgive me,it's such a stupid thing.Please forget it.»and while she is saying it she moves her nail in the act of throwing away his wish that has taken on the common form of a pale eyelash.

Y/n gesture makes the eyelash roll down and it swirls over itself and chases the earth,chases its tail,forms several open circles into which he stick his dream,his nightmare,his hidden thought.

The eyelash is lost on the red carpet and Aegon don't see it anymore.

He look for Y/n gaze again as she pushes him back into kissing her.She asks him,clumsily,to let go of those silly words of hers.The words of a girl that was still too young and forced by her father to grow up too fast,a girl hat was still a child herself with all of her fantasies and fairytales.A child that will raise children soon.

Because Y/n was better than Aegon,she is,even if she doesn't know it,and she showed it to him so many times that he has now lost count of the occasions when he felt at fault.Occasions when he realized he don't deserve her.

Aegon prefer to ignore this reality of the facts,he prefer to put his lips on her collarbone and bite slowly,resume and rummaging through her fertile body,one hand in her hair and the other under her nightgown,and grab as much as much as she offers him.

And Y/n offers Aegon everything,always.

«No wish was ever fulfilled?No one?»the question comes out of his teeth before he can control it,it pours out as his mouth moves over her belly that he suddenly feel quiver.

She is laughing.All three of them are,he realizes as he start tracing with his fingers his children imaginary features on the skin of her stomach.

«Maybe two of them.»Y/n says,referring to the lives she created inside of her«But I found out that my wishes only come true when I look at myself in a puddle.»she laughs again with her mouth open and then moves her head into a pillow.

His fingertips tingle on contact with her skin and his stomach closes into a knot the moment he notice how the intimacy that his movements has turned into familiarity.Because that is what they were going to be soon,a family.

«When did you looked at yourself into a puddle?»Aegon suddenly asked,giggling a bit when another kick met his hand.

Y/n hand found its way into his messy silver locks«The day that my father had accompanied me here for our betrothal.»she tells him,a warm feeling in her chest at the memory.

«It was raining.»he said,he remembered perfectly the first time he saw her.

He remembered her father fussing all over her wet hair,trying to adjust her dress and to make her look presentable.But she was still the most beautiful and vulnerable creature that Aegon had aver seen.A little wet bird in a golden cage.

She nodded«Before entering the Keep i took a deep breath and,as I stared at my reflection into a puddle at my feet,I secretly wished that the husband i was going to have would love him as much as I love looking at the star.»she smiled lovingly down at him.

It came true.Aegon felt his heart exploding in his chest,he loved his wife more than anything in the world.It was so easy for him to love her,how could he not?The thought that she had to wish for something like that,for something that for him was like breathing made his eyes flutter with little tears.

Aegon moved an arm and he already knew that he will hold her hand,remaining palm to palm,as he already know that her fingers will chase his,that they will squeeze,gasps.Wrists banging against wrists,veins in contact.

The time of a whole life that slips away.

«I have never made a wish.»he confessed then.

He just took,he just wanted.

Oh Aegon,what a stupid mistake.

He stole the dreams of his future child,he had plundered entire experiences of the past,and yet he could have simply asked.With courtesy,with kindness.With a little humility.

What a stupid mistake.

«You must have had a really bad dream.»Y/n whispers in her voice broken by his caresses,and then leans and puts her forehead against his as he rise to look at her«But it’s never too late,you can still have your wish.»she reassured him.

No he couldn’t and maybe they should stop talking,stop wasting time.They both should just exchange their saliva and shut up.Pant,moan obscenely and stop everything else.Eliminate among them the layers of soul,the remnants of some childish hopes,and join like empty bags.

It would be better this way,Aegon recognize this too,just below the surface,just below the peel of his chest,at least admit with himself that it would be better that way.He should stop discovering her hips with words,with confessions,with Helaena confusing words,with half-truths:it's too risky.

He should just close himself and unite with her only the bodies,discover the consistency of the painless choices and stay there stationary,inside an empty and deep gap in which the arms and legs move frantically without ever finding anything to hold on to.

This was his life once,before her.

Aegon had endless possibilities of oblivion,between the broken lines of the light palms,he had everything a young,spoiled prince could ask for.

The simplicity of superficial human relationships flowed through the buttonholes of his fingers and he continued to be unhappy,stubbornly perpetuated his pursuit of unhappiness,but he didn't know it,and therefore he really wasn't.

Or maybe yes?Maybe a part of him knew that?Is that why his chest is burning now?Because now he was finally happy for the first time and he didn’t wanted it to end?

Because now Aegon has Y/n and he managed to create something pure and innocent and beautiful with her,giving them all of the good qualities he didn’t knew he possessed.

Y/n seems to listen to his every secret and fear,to feel his breathing change and become noisier,deeper.She place a hand on his abdomen, slowly,she traces with her fingertips first his palm and then also his wrist,then also the blue vein,and repeat his name,repeat his name,repeat his name again.

Aegon enchant himself in front of the movement of her mouth and listen to the ticking of her heart that stretches until it pulls a painful fist on his gums.

He’s an adult now,a husband and a father.He should behave as such and leave the butterflies to the kids and remember that him,in his stomach and belly,only have the worms of rotten apples.

This happens to those who never make a wish. Didn't he know that?

«I would kill for our family,even innocent people if this means keep the three of you safe.»Aegon suddenly said,voicing his thoughts out loud«Would you still love me after that?»the question is sour in his mouth.

Y/n opens her eyelids to the sound of his question,frantically slams her eyelashes,those eyelashes,and swallows with difficulty.The cheeks are even redder and the ears are also red,the eyes are shiny.Atoms of soul and innocence:they agglomerated together and formed her,a little girl composed of glass and cobwebs,bubbles and feathers.

The bravest Lady he had ever met.

«Of course I will love you.My heart is your for eternity.»she replies and doesn't hesitate for a moment«And I would do the same for us.»she added with a whisper.

Her love for him is equivalent to a black hole in which he could immerse himself and observe a boundless horizon of stars broken and stuck in an icy ground.

She loves him.

And she knows that Aegon loves her too.But right now he can't even answer her,to tell her that he’s sorry,that he’s scared,that he reciprocate her feelings with the same intensity or that maybe he reciprocate them in an even more desperate way than her,crazier.He wish he could tell her that he wished they had more time,that he wasn’t who he is,that he wished that they were born in a different place and had different lives to share forever.

Y/n face is beautiful,her forehead is smooth,no flickering lines to scar her tranquility,and the skin near her eyes is crumpled from the day they got married and started to live a life together.It's the restrained cries,the sleepless nights,the quarrels,the misunderstandings,the voracious kisses left on them like square pieces.

Y/n looks at him,her eyes are still shiny,and with her fingertips and palms she clings to his camisole.

Sh clings to him and Aegon doesn’t feel any weight,he doesn’t feel any pain,no discomfort.Then at least one thing shines certain and bright in his mind:she has become the very consistency of his body.She has entered his limbs,without him noticing,and she is so close to him,beyond the blood and the breaths,that her hand is now an extension of his,her chest is his,her back is his,her lips are his.

And they would be able to see it,all perfectly together in the faces of their children.

And it is not a mere matter of possession,just an arranged marriage to unite two houses,this is not the truth and it will never be.It is something ancestral,like being destined to meet her,being destined to belong to it,being destined to live there,despite time and space.

Aegon and Y/n were sitting on the opposite ends of a timeline,at two distant points in human life, so far away that they saw each other like blurred halos,and they wanted so much to find the other,they have desired it so much,so much,that they have decided to tilt the axes of existence,to hang on to them,and to reunite with an interweaving of hands.

They had bent their faces,touched their souls by ticking of nails,and nothing was the same again.What a stupid mistake they made,something that their innocent son will pay one day.

Aegon felt like he was on fire,his whole body was trembling and his heart ached in his chest«Y/n…I…I-»but what could he tell her?

He could push her away from him,go ahead and just do it,but on his bones he will still find her shape and her footprints.If he looked for her,looked for her in him,he would find that she was everywhere.

«Y/n,I’m…I’m really sorr-»he tried to choke out what he could.

«Do you know what I wanted when I first looked inside a puddle?»Y/n didn’t let him finish,instead she kept stroking his face lovingly to help him calm down.

Aegon doesn’t move and she puts her index finger against his right temple,light.He knew that,from where she was from,it usually rained during the end of the summer and that she loved playing outside with her siblings and mother.She was the one that taught Y/n to look inside poodles and to dance in the rain,something that she would teach her future children too.

«I wished I could see myself.I wanted it intensely,I really wanted it with all my strength,as I never wanted anything in life.»Y/n started to explain him.

All of her life was planned for her,from the moment she came to the world,by her father that only saw his daughter as piece of chess to move on the board in order to gain power.She didn’t even knew who she was if not Lady Y/n,a proper and polite young girl ready to marry in the royal house.But now she knew who she was,what she liked to eat,to read,what to do in her free time and it was all thanks to Aegon that had shown her how to be selfish for the first time and to live for herself.

«And I see myself now,I can see myself,but I'm not happy.Because I have a new wish,much more important:that you can see yourself in the same way I see you,the way our children already see you.Then yes,i would be happy.We would both be happy.»she told him,sincerely with a little smile on her beautiful face.

Y/n had plundered his last feelings,which were nothing more than bread crumbs left attached to the eaten crusts.If the world fell,the sun fell,all the snow,the hail,the rain and the lightning fell,even the rainbow.He will make fire pour from the sky,he will spill blood just to keep his family alive and safe besides him.

Aegon doesn’t say anything,he moves forward on top of her and kisses her one again.He has a wish now:time.The only thing he wanted was time,more time to see his children grow up and become beautiful people,time to spend with them and to teach them how the world works,to help them and hold their hands,to protect them when they were scared and to remains them that he will love them forever.More time with Y/n,to love and cherish her,to grow old with her,to make her smile and laugh at the most inappropriate times,to caress her sweet face at night as he watches her sleep.He just wanted more time,he deserved it.

«How about,the next time that rains,we go outside,just us.»Aegon murmurs on her lips«I have a wish to make.»he continued with a small smile.

And he prayed the gods,whoever could listen to him,that it would become true the moment Y/n giggled and nodded her head.He hoped but hope can do nothing against an already written destiny and then he will be ready to go to war.

[peachsukii]

unbreakable bonds ꒰ no quirks au | childhood friends | friends to lovers ꒱ ⇢ a collective of family bonding and little moments between you and katsuki.

『♡』  k.bakugo x fem!reader ꒰ tags & content ꒱ emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, tooth-rotting fluff, happiness all around ⋆ ˚ʚɞ — just wanted to write something sickly sweet and it’s been sitting in my drafts forever. reader has a little sister that helps bond the two of you together over the years. cross posted to ao3 | word count; 3.3k -`✧ katsuki bakugo masterlist

You were too young - a little over three - to understand the day your mom brought home your little sister. You'd been secretly asking the universe for a sibling, someone to share everything with. Ask and you shall receive! But, you never knew just how much she would shape your life into what it is today.

The Kingdom - Elementary School

Fourth grade is when you and Katsuki started to play after school together on a daily basis. Him and Izuku would come by and grab snacks from your mom while you went back to the park around the corner, playing pirates and super heroes with the other neighborhood kids. Every so often, your mom would ask for you to bring your sister along. You never minded, even though she was your baby sister in first grade. The boys would pick on her - lovingly, of course - to make her feel included with the rest of the pack. She loved being around you, cooing and giggling away as she'd hold your hand and squeal with delight.

One day at the park, she'd declared herself to be queen of the castle as she stood on the slide, proudly puffing out her chest with her hands on her hips.

"I am the queen, and what I say goes!" she pointed to you and Katsuki. "Sissy will be the princess and you will be our royal guard, Katsu!"

You chuckle. "Isn't the older sister supposed to be queen?"

She does her best impression of a royal laugh, projecting her voice theatrically. "Not in my land! It's my kingdom and if you don't like it, I'll send you to the brig!"

"You're confusin' pirates 'n princesses again,” Katsuki taunts playfully.

She stomps her foot on the slide. “Silence in my kingdom! Izu will be my knight!”

Katsuki pouts. “Hey! Why don’t I get to be the knight?!’

“Cause I say so! You’re the royal guard cause you’re tough. Izu is the knight because he’s brave!”

You can’t help but let out a loud ‘hah!’ at her comment. Your sister never failed to push Katsuki in the cutest ways - he probably was thankful to be an only child whenever you guys would go home for the day.

Katsuki huffs at her declaration, taking the challenge with stride. “Fine! I’ll show you who’s tough and be the best dang guard in the whole world.”

“Do I get a cool set of armor, queen?” Izuku asks, bouncing up and down at the bottom of the slide.

“Of course! Only the best armor and ponies for my royal kingdom.”

She sits and pushes herself down the metal slide, rocketing off the edge past Izuku and barreling toward Katsuki. She trucks into him at full force - but, being small, that force isn’t much for him to withstand.

“What the heck was that for?!” he yells while catching her before she hits the wood chips.

“A test of your toughness, Katsu! And you passed! You’re deserving of a spot in my kingdom,” she giggles, mashing his cheeks together with her tiny palms. He protests her closeness and tries to fight her off, setting her feet back on the ground while she’s wiggling in his hold. Watching the two of them act like siblings themselves always made you feel so warm and fuzzy inside, knowing your two closest friends also adored your sister as much as you did.

You meander over to grab her from him. “Alright, I think you made your point, queen. Your guard and knight have other duties to get to.”

She waves goodbye to the boys over her shoulder as the two of you stroll home for dinner. She gleefully remarks how cool they are and that she can’t wait to marry them someday.

You can’t help but giggle at the thought. “Both of them? Wow, all to yourself, huh?”

She pouts and whips her head upward. “No, sissy! We both get one!”

”Oh yeah? Because you’re the queen of the kingdom, you get to pick?”

“That’s right! They’ll have to fight to see who gets to pick you!”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head at the thought. You’re only ten years old, the thought of boys fighting over you was hilarious.

”Promise not to tell Izu, but I think Katsu would win that fight,” she whispers, tugging on your hand to get you to lean over closer to her face. “He’s taller and faster!”

The thought of marrying Katsuki flashes in your mind - you have zero clue what that even looks like, but you imagine him bringing you flowers on the playground or giving you a bite of his ice cream. A blush creeps over your cheeks and nose at the thought. Your sister catches your reaction and gasps dramatically.

“You like Katsu?!” she exclaims.

You shush her. “No! Don’t go yelling that!”

That’s a big fat lie. You liked him a lot, he was your favorite person, but you’re kids.

It’s just a harmless crush.

───

An Enchanted Afternoon - Elementary School

A week later, the four of you returned to the playground after school. Snacks from your pantry in hand, the bunch of you sit on the swing set to eat. Your sister seemed extremely eager today, more so than usual. Once you all finished eating, she demanded your attention.

"Gather 'round! Your queen summons you," she declares, arms raised above her head. You and the boys huddle around her.

"Katsu, go fetch flowers!" she orders as she points to a nearby patch of grass. "Zuzu, clear out the sandbox of any villagers."

There wasn't anyone else here today, so that job was easily done. Izuku doesn't say anything and smiles as he heads over to the sandbox as ordered. Katsuki is confused, nose scrunched and arms crossed.

"Why do I need to get flowers?" he asks, tapping his foot in the wood chips.

"Do you dare defy your queen?!" she shouts, grinning wickedly. He obliges, sauntering over to the grass to find a few spare daisies.

"What's all this for?" you ask, genuinely curious to her plans. She doesn’t answer you as she grabs you by the wrist, dragging you over to the sandbox.

A few minutes later, Katsuki comes back with a handful of daisies, picked and pruned clean of any dirt and weeds. Izuku stands on the edge of the sandbox patiently.

”Perfect! Katsu, Sissy, please approach your queen.”

You play along and stand in front of her with Katsuki. It’s amusing how small she is in comparison to the two of you, easily shadowing over her figure.

“With my knight as witness, I give the blessing to the princess and royal guard to be married forever!” she exclaims, waving her hands around to mimic casting a magic spell.

You're pretty sure she got that line from a princess movie, but that doesn't make the sentiment any less adorable. You begin to chuckle to yourself, smiling ear to ear before turning toward Katsuki. You're expecting him to be disgusted, repulsed by something so sickly sweet, but are shocked to see him standing with the flowers outstretched in your direction. He's biting his bottom lip and avoiding eye contact by staring directly at your feet.

"H-here," he whispers meekly, pushing the flowers into your hands. You've never seen him so shy before - that's usually Izuku's demeanor. His unexpected affection makes your little heart flutter in your chest.

"Thank you 'Suki," is all you can muster up the courage to say, your mind running blank on the right thing to say. It's just an imaginary scenario...It's not real, not like you're actually marrying him. Katsuki exhales, turning his back to you to hide his strawberry colored cheeks.

"Now you're together forever!" you sister raves, dancing on her tip toes with satisfaction.

Maybe that was the moment she bound you two together with some unknown magical force, or it was a mere coincidence. The sappy part of your young brain believed in fairytales and chose to believe she was weaving your golden string to him, binding you two for life.

───

Leftovers - Middle School

”Yo, brats! Come eat already so I can get the hell outta here,” Katsuki called from your doorway. He’d come by with leftovers from his mom for you and your sister, since your own mom was working later that day. The two of you were still…friends? You weren’t sure. Being in seventh grade and all, he started acting like you weren’t cool enough for him. He did the same to Izuku, starting to ditch the two of you for other kids in class to hang out with at lunch or walk home with. Did it hurt your feelings? Absolutely. But you didn’t own him, he was allowed to have other friends, even if it did suck to see him less outside of class.

“Coming!” you called back, skipping down the hallway with your sister in tow. She happily ran into the entryway, hugging Katsuki by the waist. She was taller now, but still much smaller than him as a fourth grader.

“Hiya Katsu!” she gleamed up at him, rubbing her face against his uniform jacket.

He grunted, uncomfortable with her sudden affection and poking her in the forehead to release her grip. “Let go, squirt!”

He turned his attention to you as your sister finally let go of him. “Here, take these. I gotta get to practice.”

”Thank you! Tell your mom we said hi.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You hand the containers to your sister as she wanders off to the table. Before Katsuki opens the door, you tap him on the shoulder.

“Hey, are you alright?”

He scoffs at your question. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem distant lately. Wanna come by sometime for a movie marathon?” you ask, tilting your head and giving him a warm smile.

“We’re not kids anymore. Got better stuff to do.”

Ouch, that stung. Your smile fades away as you reply. “Well…I know. I just miss hanging out with you.”

“You have Deku an’ that other group of bitches you hang out with, ya don’t need me.” His harsh comment has notes of jealousy intertwined in his words. He goes to put his hand on the door again before you take a step forward to stop him.

“Kat, they’re not a replacement for you. You’ve got your own friends now, too since you’re on the soccer team. You’re saying we can’t hang out 'cause we have different friends?”

He glares at you before pushing past you and pulling on the front door.

“Hey!” your sister shouts from the dining area. “Katsu, that’s not nice. My royal guard doesn't act like that!” She’s always thought of Katsuki as a guard since your elementary school playground days.

“Cut the shit! We’re not kids anymore!” Katsuki rebuttals with a growl of frustration.

He makes eye contact with you. “We’ve grown apart, end of fuckin’ story. Get over it.”

He slams your front door closed and leaves you standing in the entryway, your eyes stinging from the urge to cry. You feel a small gust of wind rush by as your sister is sprinting to the door, throwing it open and running outside without shoes on.

“Hey!” She calls after Katsuki. “Get your butt back here, Katsu!”

He turns on his heel. “Hah?!”

She stomps on the ground, fists balled at her sides. “Apologize to her!”

Katsuki cackles, a little too manically. “For what, brat?”

“You’re being a mean jerk to her! She doesn’t deserve to be yelled at like that. Friends are friends forever, idiot!” she yells, her cheeks puffed and eyebrows scrunched together.

You can’t help but stifle a laugh at her calling Katsuki an idiot and turn your head to hide your amusement.

”That’s not who you are, Katsu. That’s not how you treat your princess!”

He pinches the bridge of his nose and screws his eyes shut in annoyance, exhaling dramatically. He locks his gaze on you, storming back up to the doorway. He roughly ruffles your sister’s hair as he passes by her as a pseudo apology. Katsuki sucks the air through his teeth and shoves his fists in his pockets as he stops in front of you.

“Look, ‘m sorry for yellin’, okay?” he sighs, kicking a foot against the pavement. “I'll come over Saturday, we’ll have that movie day ya wanted.”

"You don't need to if you feel forced to hang out with me." Your eyes shift to your feet to avoid looking at his reaction.

" 's fine. I'll be here at noon, don't pick anything lame."

With that, he turns to leave for a second time in silence. You watch him disappear around the corner and can't help but feel like a burden for asking him to make time for you. As if reading your mind, your sister shakes you out of the negative train of thought while walking back to the house.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just being a dumb boy. That’s what my teacher says when boys are mean for no reason.” She grins a toothy smile up at you and grabs your hand. “Come on! Foods getting cold!”

Katsuki rounded the corner and waited to be out of sight before palming his face in anger. He had no idea why he said those things to you. None of it was true, especially that you’d grown apart. If anything, he was jealous of your friends and missed seeing you all the time. But he couldn’t bring himself to say so, like always. Ever since middle school started, he’d harbored some unknown rage inside of him that lashed out every chance it could. He hated it and didn’t know what to do to stop it - hence trying out for the soccer team, looking for an outlet for the pent up emotions in his body.

Katsuki secretly hoped you wouldn’t end up despising him for it. Even after all this time, he still thinks of you whenever he sees a patch of daisies.

Maybe one day he’d be brave enough to tell you about it.

───

Running Late - High School

The front door to your home opens as Katsuki slips inside, kicking his loafers off by the door. Your younger sister peaks over the kitchen counter while spreading jam over her toast and nods in his direction.

"Hey Katsu, pretty sure she's still asleep upstairs," she calls, rolling her eyes. "I tried to get her up three times, maybe you'll have better luck."

It was hard to believe that she was already in her freshmen year of high school - shit, it’s crazy that you and Katsuki were seniors. The age of playground days and summer adventures went by in the blink of an eye.

He makes his way to the kitchen island, leaning over to ruffle your sister’s hair - some things never change.

"Thanks, bean. I'll get her ass movin’."

“Stooop! You’ll mess up my hair!” She whines as she pulls away, fixing a few stray pieces of her fluffy mane.

“Ya look fine, don’t sweat it,” he compliments while heading for the staircase. He makes his way to your bedroom on the second floor. The door is surprisingly cracked open - he taps on the doorframe to grab your attention.

“Come in,” you call, lying on your bed facing the wall above the covers while scrolling on your phone. You presume it’s your sister until a soft kiss is planted on your cheek.

“Mornin’ sweets,” Katsuki whispers, rubbing your shoulder to turn you to face him. He sits on the edge of your bed beside you. “You wanna be late for our last first day of high school?”

You shift to sit up and drop your phone to your bed, reaching to cradle his face in your hands.

“No, I just wanted to steal a few kisses first,” you mumble as your lips quietly meet his. Katsuki places one hand on your cheek while the other lightly grazes your back. After a few moments, the two of you part with a soft smack. You stand and straighten up your uniform skirt, flattening a few of the panels to work out any stray creases.

“Do I look okay?” You ask, spinning around for Katsuki and showing off your uniform. Your hair was pulled into a pretty ponytail with a few pieces framing your face. The only make up you had on was some lip gloss - you valued sleeping in over doing a minimalist makeup look today.

“Y’always look good,” he sighs, standing to his feet. “Let’s get movin’ before bean suspects somethin’.”

You hadn’t told your sister about your relationship with Katsuki. Sure, you guys had been friends since you were children and he’s always around…how would she know the difference?

The two of you patter down the hallway and skip down the stairs to the kitchen. Your sister is waiting for the two of you, arms crossed and tapping one foot impatiently.

“Finally! Get your damn shoes on,” she orders while pushing you toward the door. She does a double take at Katsuki while you’re putting on your shoes, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Katsu…are you wearing lipgloss?”

Oops.

Katsuki’s searching for something to say as his face glows scarlet. He puts a hand on the back of his neck and turns away, grumbling while attempting to hide his embarrassment.

“Oh come on, you two. I knew you guys started dating months ago. You think I didn’t notice?”

You spin around to face her, cheeks puffed and eyebrows scrunched. “You never said anything?!”

She laughs, walking up to Katsuki and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“If you ever hurt her, Katsuki, I’ll knock your lights out. I know where you sleep,” she threatens, grinning mischievously. Katsuki pulls her into a headlock, ruffling her hair a second time.

“Deal, but I plan on stayin’ alive.” He lets her go, chuckling as he smooths out the pieces of hair he messed with.

Seeing the two of them get along never fails to make your heart swell with joy. Katsuki has always treated her like his own sister - one that he could easily give back at the end of every day, anyways.

She turns with a huff with her hands in the air.

“You both have my blessing, you should know that. I didn’t marry you two in a sandbox for nothing!”

───

Today Was A Fairytale - Current Day

“It’s an honor to be doing this for a second time. You’re in luck, my vocabulary has grown exponentially since our sandbox days.”

There’s a wave of laughter through the crowd at your sister’s lighthearted joke. You can’t help but smile as Katsuki’s fingers dance across the back of your hand to regather your attention.

God, he looks so damn handsome in that tux. His usual wild hair is slicked back and tamed - an extremely rare sight. Carmine eyes stare back at you, full of devotion and excitement for this next chapter in your fairytale.

“By the power vested in me, and these people as my witness, I pronounce you two as king and queen of the kingdom!”

Friends and family alike cheer and whistle as you and Katsuki intertwine, kissing each other for the first time as husband and wife. He spins you around and dips you low, kissing the tip of your nose playfully.

“I love you,” he mouths, a silent profession of adoration - reserved just for you.

The two of you strut down the aisle to the dance floor in the reception hall, the DJ already queuing the first dance song. Katsuki gently tugs you by the waist, pulling you closer to him as he begins to sway side to side when the music begins to fill the room. You rest your head against his chest and get lost in the moment.

Right now, the world belongs to the two of you. Every worry, struggle, and hardship is stripped away from your lives to give you the peace you deserve.

There’s one thought that lingers in your mind as you catch a glimpse of your teary-eyed sister watching you from the corner of the dance floor, latched onto Izuku’s arm for support.

She tied that golden string with an unbreakable knot.

tags 💥 @slayfics @maddietries @queenpiranhadon

[simpingland]

Ooohhhh okie so;

Can I get a Harwin x Fem!Reader

Major fluff, I’m thinking Harwin either wining or losing to Daemon at a tourney and reader like cleans him up as they share a bath.

The idea is really vague.

(Feel free to ignore!!)

Crown of Soap.// Ser Harwin Strong x fem!reader.

Summary: Ser Harwin only wants to crown his wife as the Queen of Love and Beauty. And the problem is not that Daemon is his opponent, but that his wife does not want Harwin to win the tournament.

A/N: sorry if this was too much introduction till the bath. I LOVED THIS IDEA. Thank you for reaching, hope you like it❤️gif not mine.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Days at King Viserys's court were quiet considering the presence of Prince Daemon. Daemon's marriage to his beloved niece Rhaenyra had brought happiness to the family, though it was a difficult decision for the King. But the Princess radiated joy and quickly outgrown your reputation as a happy bride. Whenever Rhaenyra appeared in your room, your husband Harwin left politely but hurriedly. You could see him roll his eyes when your attention was taken from him, and you could only smile at his politeness, knowing full well that he was not irritated, and that he was exaggerating just to amuse you. You, on the other hand, were deeply happy for your dear friend Rhaenyra, who had trusted you from the first day you sat beside her. And of course, the Crown Princess's wedding deserved something grand, something to entertain the nobles, a tournament.

"No, Harwin, there is no need for you to participate," you told him at dinner. Your refusal took him by surprise.

"And why not? It will be fun. Besides, who can beat me?"

Ser Harwin "Breakbones," of course, and his confident smile appeared at that nickname. And the breadth of his shoulders and the strength of his arms would never deny it, but not everything lasts forever. Daemon was a proud, competitive man, and besides, Harwin was more clumsy, strong, but clumsy.

"Well, I just don't want you to get hurt too badly."

"I'll take my chances. I want to crown you Queen of love and beauty."

"That's very sweet..." you saw him take your hand, pleased with himself. "But I wouldn't want you to."

"I'm not understanding anything."

Poor thing, you stroked his hand, big and rough but so manly and tender.

"It's a tournament in honour of Daemon and Rhaenyra. And Daemon will want to win to crown Rhaenyra. And honestly, she deserves to be crowned, even if Daemon doesn't deserve to win. You don't know how many times the Princess has cried on my shoulder for Daemon. She doesn't deserve that man either...but since she's got him, it would be fitting to give them a nice start to their marriage. Do you understand, my love?"

You watched as he processed the information, his sweet eyes looking into yours. And he nodded, smiling and stroking your hand back.

"All right...but I'm not going to make a fool of myself."

"Harwin..." you chided him.

"You deserve crowns too, and it is my duty to honour you. So I won't let them laugh at me or you. And I will fight as hard as the Prince fights." His tone was serious, but not strong or stern.

"I don't want a crown!"

"Then you shall have it!"

"You are disgustingly stubborn."

"You cannot prevent me from winning fairly. It is dishonourable."

"Harwin, please..." he got up to get into bed, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to win you that crown." He pointed his finger at you and began to undress.

"Then I'll flush it down the toilet," you lied, crossing your arms.

You could see the smile creeping back on his face, and you couldn't hide it much longer either. And the 'discussion' went on until Harwin fell asleep.

The tournament was not long in coming. Of course, while you were putting on one of your best dresses, Harwin was putting on one of his best suits of armour. He sat obediently for you to put his long, curly hair up in a ponytail. You offered to be late for the tournament while you frolicked in bed, but he declined.

"We'll enjoy tonight, where I can see you happy and beautiful with your new crown. Only with your crown."

"That's if you come in one piece, my love."

Of course, he never took such remarks with offence. A man as great as he was did not doubt his manliness in the face of words, and his dear wife was the first with whom he could be vulnerable and who truly knew his ways. And to hurt Harwin's spirit it took more than that, and that was what you loved most about him, that he was so much more than 'the strongest man in the Seven Kingdoms'. He gave you a tantalising kiss before parting from you, a kiss that could have gone further, but Harwin broke away, leaving you wanting more. As you sat down next to Rhaenyra, you could see him smile sympathetically at his squire, happy and nervous. The bride looked with his same emotions, her eyes searching energetically for Daemon, touching her necklace.

"Who are you going to bet on, Princess?" you asked jokingly.

"For my husband, just as you will bet on yours..." she replied, smiling.

"Oh, don't think I'm so convinced. Prince Daemon will do everything he can to crown you. He'd be willing to finish off the brute of Harwin to win a kiss from you."

You watched as Rhaenyra laughed, blushing. She reminded you of yourself when you were newly wed. A young lady, who travelled with her father to King's Landing to gain a place among the King's court. And of course, you were given the duty of marriage. The Princess and now Queen Alicent were kind, and kept you company during the exhausting courtships of the lords. Rhaenyra was only bent on marrying Daemon, Alicent was already married, but you couldn't find anyone you liked at all. Until the hunt in honour of Aegon. Ser Harwin Strong hadn't said a word to you since you arrived, and it was understandable since you were a girl in the shadow of a princess and liked to watch him from afar. When the whole court moved to spend three days hunting, the Strongs offered to take you and your father in the carriage, for yours had broken down in the middle of the road. And it was during those days that Harwin truly saw you. He gave up riding on his own horse to keep talking to you on the road, gave you his cloak at night when it was cool, and sat beside you at suppers, listening to your gossip while he told you what he had seen on the hunt. And though Harwin was a candidate to be the Princess's husband, he was quick to ask your father for your hand, but not before asking you first. Your betrothal was so simple and so happy that Rhaenyra had to hide her jealousy, but it was soon noticed and you and Harwin planned dinners with Ser Lyonel, where you convinced him that Daemon would be the best choice and conveyed it to the king. You triumphed.

The jousting began, and as expected, the final three were Daemon, Harwin and Criston. Your husband winked at you every time his opponent fell to the ground. And it was he who defeated Criston, making both you and Rhaenyra chuckle a bit too much. When it was his and Daemon's turn, they both approached the stand where you were standing. Daemon asked his wife for her favour, while Harwin asked for yours. You chose the most beautiful and simple ribbon, with small purple flowers and colourful dark green leaves. When you put it on Harwin, you looked into his eyes.

"I would wish you luck, my lord, but if you do the right thing, you will always come out on top." That was your last request.

And you watched as they both clung tightly to your horses. Difficult to overthrow, Daemon and Harwin were beginning to grow frustrated, as were you and Rhaenyra. And when Harwin broke Daemon's shield, it was all but settled for the knight to win, not the prince. Before they made the final turn, Harwin looked at you, without the smile, and you nodded for him to look at Rhaenyra. She was holding your hands, her face was one of disappointment as she saw her husband angry at the situation. And you saw how he himself struggled. On the last blow, Harwin again galloped with impetus, as did the Prince, and before he could strike the blow, the Prince was able to push him off his horse. It was harsh, and a resounding fall. Everyone held their breath a little before bursting into applause as Harwin removed his helmet in defeat. You clapped as you watched your husband, being lifted up by Daemon. They shook hands and then he reached for his squire. And from a distance he could see the smile on your face as Rhaenyra was crowned Queen of Love and Beauty by her husband. Then, he waited for you to arrive at his tent so that you would feel sorry for him.

"Are you all right?" You asked, genuinely dismayed.

"I think I need to wait in bed for a month and a half. In the company of my wife, naked if possible. The masters so indicate." He exaggerated a tired tone that made you laugh.

"You are perfectly fine, I see. Though you reek of sweat."

"A crown of flowers would have taken away this stench."

"Soap and water is also a good option."

And you walked towards the castle, but Harwin was not at your side, and when you turned you saw that he was limping. The sight made you tender, for he was so big, he made so much noise in that armour, and he walked like a little boy with that smile framed by a beard. You had to let him rest his arm on your shoulders.

"Come on, 'old-bones', we haven't got all day."

You smiled at him when he rolled his eyes at his nickname. Harwin didn't have that many years on you, you were always amused by the nickname, pointing out his very limited grey hair as if it was the beginning of the end, and watched as he proceeded to try to impress you with his talents. And you loved those displays, him picking you up, practising with his sword in front of you, or helping to fix things around the castle. In time, Harwin began to enjoy your "pity" for him when he fell asleep on your chest, or when you read aloud to him. When he was drowsy he always let you fill his face with little kisses. The maidens prepared a large bath for you, with refreshing water after the hot day, and the squire brought into the room the cloak, shield and crown with which you had wished Harwin luck.

You helped him take off his armour, one of your favourite hobbies, and your husband always enjoyed watching your concentration. He had bruises when you undressed him completely, and one that was sure to get worse on his abdomen, where Daemon had struck to get him to throw it off. He was sweaty, incredibly handsome, but his injuries worried you.

"Don't worry," he said, voice low and caressing your face, making you stare at him. "I'm fine."

"It's a good bump."

"That's what happens when you raise your arm too high, you find a weak spot."

You could tell by the smile. Harwin had done it on purpose, he'd let himself get hit. It made sense, he had the advantage, and he was too easy to beat even when Daemon had been hurt worse.

"You let him win..."

"No..." he lied. "I'm old, that's all."

He climbed into the tub by himself, sinking down to wet his head. Meanwhile, you stood outside, watching him, your brave knight. Grabbing an ointment, you sat beside the tub and carefully spread the cream over those bruises. You could feel Harwin's eyes following you. And when you reached the big one, the pain made him pull away.

"I'm sorry," you said, "I can't quite reach, turn around a bit."

"No," he replied. "Get in with me. You smell like sweat too."

"But I have to put the ointment on you."

"Put it on later. Take a bath with me."

At your refusal, Harwin splashed the water on you, soaking much of your dress and hair. So, wanting to kill him, you gasped and shed your clothes. Your husband couldn't take his eyes off you, and immediately made room for you.

"This bathtub isn't that big..." you said as you settled in.

"I know, and that's what I like the most."

You were in front of him. You had to pull your knees up to your chest to get in, and Harwin grabbed your foot and made you straighten your leg. When he kissed you on the sole, his beard tickled you.

"Harwin, stop!"

"I can't hear you, wife, you're too far away." And he tugged at the hand you'd thrown to pull your foot away from his lips, and pulled you down to lie in his lap. Your faces close and his hands resting on your waist. Then already Harwin let you clean him. With the washcloth and a bar of soap, he closed his eyes as you ran it gently over his armpits, over his shoulders, always leaving a path of caresses.

"It's a shame you didn't win, my lord..."

"More's my pity you didn't get a crown."

"You're obsessed with the crown," you joked. Harwin opened his eyes to focus on you. "Honestly, I don't need you to win tournaments or be a great fighter to prove anything. I like the humble, good man I have for a husband."

As you washed his face, Harwin moved his hand along the curve of your back.

"I just wanted to see you shine," he confessed.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since you came to the palace, you've been in the Princess's shadow forever. And I only dared to speak to you when I could find you apart from her. You are more than a lady-in-waiting to Rhaenyra, and I feel that the life I give you does not take you away from that. I feel that...I need to bring you pride and honour. I need them to see you, as I see you."

"Oh, Harwin..." you threw yourself on his mouth, and you kissed each other so passionately that you felt like you could melt right there, on top of your husband, with his flowery scent and warm from sweat. And as you kissed, Harwin's hand caressed your thighs, drawing you even closer to him. When you broke apart, your smile was irrepressible.

"I adore you... I adore you for what you have done for Rhaenyra. And I adore you for thinking of me. And I love you, Harwin, I love you for being the gentle knight as sweet as you are stubborn."

You saw him blush, smiling. And you kept bathing him until all that was left to do was to wash his hair. Then you stood behind him, all that back holding your upperbody.

"I can't wait to be an old man so you have to bathe me all the time." You felt him relax with your massage.

"In a month you'll be fulfilling that dream, you little elder."

You heard his laughter as you removed the soap from his hair. And then all that was left to do was relax. With Harwin between your legs and his head on your chest, his hands caressed the hands resting on his chest and you stared into nothingness. Then you began to talk about your favourite subject.

"I saw Criston tripping before the joust began," Harwin said. "He thought no one saw him, but he saw me looking at him."

"And you laughed, didn't you?"

"And I laughed..." and Harwin burst into laughter again, laughing and making you laugh as well. "Well, though in fairness, I don't think there's anyone in the kingdom who could wear a crown of flowers better than Criston, he's a handsome mother fucker..."

"I don't agree. He's very handsome...but he doesn't deserve it."

Your arm reached for the small crown from before, Harwin looked over to see what you were doing. When you took the little crown, he thought he understood everything.

"True, you are a better candidate for..." when he went to take it from you to crown you, you pushed it away from him.

"No, my dear Harwin. I don't deserve it either..." you put on an exaggerated solemn tone. "The true king of love and beauty is the sweet knight Ser Harwin 'Breakbones' Strong."

And he let you put the crown on him, his hair wet and clean. You watched as he clasped his hands together and placed them tenderly near his cheeks, lifting one shoulder flirtatiously. He forced you to kiss his hand, which you did as you laughed. But his appreciation was shown when he plunged you back into one of those kisses that only he knew how to give you, the kiss he had promised before the joust began.

And you knew he was truly honoured because he spent the rest of the day with that wreath on, and took one of the flowers in his suit the next day. No one else could know even if they saw it on his shirt. But only you needed to know, because when you got close to his chest you could smell not just a flower, but the love and beauty it represented.

[sunny-ssunset]

Pretty in pink!

Yandere South park x Girly! F! Reader Headcanons

What kind of yandere they are!

Includes Kenny, Stan, Kyle, Wendy and Bebe

Masterlist

TAGLIST: @giyusdarling

♡Sorry if this is really scary you don't have to read it, its not important to pretty in pink as of now, just depth into the characters. AGED UP

TW: SLIGHT NSFW, panty stealing, mentions of m*sturbation and s*x, Perverted Kenny, Stalking, Mentions of zaza, Slight hints to Body horror/gore

Kenny!

♡Poor little Kenny.....

♡Such an unfortunate situation

♡Addict parents...

♡Little to no money...

♡I mean, He didn't really care though

♡He didn't care the minute he spoke to the Y/n L/n.

♡Before He met you, he thought you were hot.

♡But he didnt really care to much about you until you had your first conversation with him.

♡You complimented his 'beautiful ocean eyes' as you called them.

♡No one compliments him

♡To put it nicely he stinks and he cant afford new clothes

♡He didnt realise how kind you were

♡Or how pretty you were

♡He was in love instantly

♡No, He was obsessed.

♡Now. Kenny is the type of yandere to steal pretty much anything you had.

♡From used bottles and Applecores to.... Underwear

♡And you do not want to know what he does to that stuff....

♡You being the sweet angel you are let him stay around some nights

♡Sometimes with Karen, Sometimes without

♡He is so fucking obsessed.

♡He obviously needs to protect his precious Y/n....

♡So wherever Y/n walks, Kenny follows

♡Sometimes He'll take pictures of you without you knowing

♡He cant help it.... You look so beautiful when you bendover....

♡He has a shrine of you

♡Kenny is just so lucky to walk on the same planet Y/n does

Stan

♡Now, Stan doesnt believe in god.

♡But the minute he saw you, He prayed you'd talk to him one day

♡And your pretty little self did!

♡God you were so perfect

♡He tried turning Wendy into you

♡I mean if he cant have the real thing why not just force her to be you

♡Now Wendy is already trying hard to be you

♡So Stan had a headstart

♡But Wendy could never shape up to you

♡He was so obsessed with you to the point where the only thing that got him off was you

♡Once he was having s*x with Wendy, He accidentally moaned your name and got really embarrassed. little did he know Wendy was into it

♡He was very obvious about his crush on you, with out even knowing it

♡Plus you're THE Y/n L/n! You knew everyone was obsessed with you, and you knew how to use and abuse it!

♡So when you figured that Stan had like unlimited access to a certain dr*g you liked

♡You were all over him!

♡Hooking up in the janitors closet, Or his truck, pretty much anywhere you can

♡Stan loved you so much, He started making his own Y/n.

♡Only to fufill the time being, He's planned to capture the real thing soon!

♡Unlike Kenny, He'd ask outright for your stuff, using the excuse

♡"Y/n you should leave some of your clothes here, For when you stay over"

♡When you obliged, He'd put them on to he doll and try gaslight you into thinking you never left your clothes there

♡Stan doesnt think you'd take lightly to doll Y/n.

Kyle

♡I think Kyle's the most normal out of everyone here, but even he's still a Yandere soo

♡He thinks bacause he knew you first, He deserves to have you

♡Kyle gets extremely insecure, He knows alot of his friends have a 'crush' on you.

♡And He gets really fucking jealous

♡Like He takes it out on you, and gets into fights with his friends

♡He doesnt care how many people he has to get rid of to be with you

♡He is so fucking lucky you're so kind

♡You forgive him every fucking time he acts up

♡You are just so kind

♡Your both meant to be

♡So so kind

♡Y/n and Kyle forever

♡You help him when he gets mad

♡And you love his attention

♡He cant wait until he can take you for his own

♡I mean Kyle loved you before anybody else did

♡He loved you before anybody else did

♡He was the first and only person to see you for what you really are

♡A God.

Wendy

♡Wendy Testaburger.

♡Your best friend

♡She knew almost everything about you

♡I mean she thinks she does

♡She likes to believe she does

♡She also knows about everyone liking you

♡Everyone except maybe Stan, I mean Its not like she'd care if you liked him

♡But she'd hope you'd tell her

♡Wendy thinks you are perfection

♡You and her have been very close for a WHILE

♡She's helped you through your ups and downs

♡She loves the fact your comfortable enough to be some what indecent around her

♡Like once you asked her if your boobs looked weird, Wendy almost fainted

♡She wants to see more of you like that....

♡Wendy wants to know everything about your body

♡So she can try replicate it on herself

♡Mutilate her hips into the correct shape

♡She doesnt care how much it hurts

♡She wants to become you so fucking bad

♡She picks up every habit you have

♡Wendy is your shadow

Bebe

♡Bebe is your typical Yandere

♡She adores you

♡Y/n does no wrong in her eyes

♡She hates the fact Wendy is your best friend not her

♡Or how you flirt and cuddle Kenny so much

♡Why can't it be her?

♡She acts like the others do

♡But you treat her no different to how you did before

♡What will it take for you to love her!!!!

♡Until, the perfect oppurtunity came to light

♡You were hooking up with Stan.

♡If She told Wendy

♡Wendy would hate you

♡Leaving you all to Bebe

♡It was the perfect plan

♡Perfect

♡No more Wendy

♡Just Y/n and Bebe

♡Y/n and Bebe forever!!

♡Forever

♡And ever

♡Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever Forever

f̧̨̛̗̗͎͉̦̾̊͒̂ͧ̉̌̇͆ͣ̌ͩ̅̂ͣ͊̀͠o̵̸̡̰͈͎̭̦̼̼̱̼̤͚̻͇̎̎̈̏͛̌̈ͬ̃̎͌̔ͫ͊ͯ̽́ͥͣͭ̎ͪͬ̕͞͝ͅr͎̩̤̠̺̯̈́ͣ͂̑ͦ̽ͧͧ̊͜͡ͅͅe_̵̟͔ͦ̒̀̈́͛̈́_̵͚̞̗̫̿̓́̾ͩͬ̓̇́̆͞v̨̼̦̪̼͎̟͑̄̍̃ͭ̃͛̾͒ͫͭ͝͠_̷͉̟̤͕͚̋ͭ̌͗͌̌͗̐̀͛͞͞ȩ̶̵̵̷̢̳͈͔̲̘͓̺̩̞͎͍̻̈ͪ̾ͥ̑̎͒̓̒ͣ͘͜͝͡͠͝͞͡ͅr̵̥̩̀ͫ̇ͧ͒ͤͮͩ͒͐͜͠_̢̪͖̱̾͆ͮ́̒ͤ͆͜͝

f̃o̷̶̱̩̳̹̭̓̀̆͒̅ͬ͘͡͡r̵ë̝ͪ_͔v̴̸̡̡̳̹̥̱̞̩̻̗̀͌͋̋̄̊ͮ͆̈́̒̋̑̀̏ͯ̀̚͜͢͟͜͡͝͠ͅe̵̢̢̧̝͙̰̜̯̼͇͓̜̙ͦ̉͒̆ͪ͗̈̐̾̈́̎ͪ͋ͨ̄̄̈́̔̆̐͗͊̓̊̕̕͟͟͝r̵̨̡̦͓̮̻͚̦̗͕͕̋̿̾̐̀̔̊̇͗̆̏̅̌̋ͧ̐ͮ̒͘͡͠ͅ

f̃o̷̶̱̩̳̹̭̓̀̆͒̅ͬ͘͡͡r̵ë̝ͪ_͔v̴̸̡̡̳̹̥̱̞̩̻̗̀͌͋̋̄̊ͮ͆̈́̒̋̑̀̏ͯ̀̚͜͢͟͜͡͝͠ͅe̵̢̢̧̝͙̰̜̯̼͇͓̜̙ͦ̉͒̆ͪ͗̈̐̾̈́̎ͪ͋ͨ̄̄̈́̔̆̐͗͊̓̊̕̕͟͟͝r̵̨̡̦͓̮̻͚̦̗͕͕̋̿̾̐̀̔̊̇͗̆̏̅̌̋ͧ̐ͮ̒͘͡͠ͅ

f̧̨̛̗̗͎͉̦̾̊͒̂ͧ̉̌̇͆ͣ̌ͩ̅̂ͣ͊̀͠o̵̸̡̰͈͎̭̦̼̼̱̼̤͚̻͇̎̎̈̏͛̌̈ͬ̃̎͌̔ͫ͊ͯ̽́ͥͣͭ̎ͪͬ̕͞͝ͅr͎̩̤̠̺̯̈́ͣ͂̑ͦ̽ͧͧ̊͜͡ͅͅe_̵̟͔ͦ̒̀̈́͛̈́_̵͚̞̗̫̿̓́̾ͩͬ̓̇́̆͞v̨̼̦̪̼͎̟͑̄̍̃ͭ̃͛̾͒ͫͭ͝͠_̷͉̟̤͕͚̋ͭ̌͗͌̌͗̐̀͛͞͞ȩ̶̵̵̷̢̳͈͔̲̘͓̺̩̞͎͍̻̈ͪ̾ͥ̑̎͒̓̒ͣ͘͜͝͡͠͝͞͡ͅr̵̥̩̀ͫ̇ͧ͒ͤͮͩ͒͐͜͠

Dividers by @k1ssyoursister

[strongheartneteyam]

I wet you like water but she stained you like blood.

Pairing: widowed!dilf!jake sully x younger!female!human!reader

CW: slight sexual language, can be triggering to some, heartbreak, age gap kink, hurt/no comfort, age gap relationship problems, angst, reader reminiscing (pls tell me if I missed anything) 

So, yeah... I never know when I'm gonna come back with another writing. My hiatus n working periods are all a bit unpredictable lol sorry. Anyways... I literally spent the whole night awake n I was struck by a sudden lightning of creativity early in the morning and I edited this chapter n wrote a bit more, but I still haven't slept at all, so, I apologize if some parts of this make no sense at all. I'll fix it when I can. Hope you guys like it <3 ily guys a whole lot :)) obs: this chapter is a shorter one.

Slightly proofread.

Chapter 4 𓆩♡𓆪

They say all's well that ends well

But I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine

And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

All Too Well - 10 minutes Version (Taylor Swift)

𓆩♡𓆪

It had been 1 year since the last time you saw Jacob Sully. Or Jakey, like you used to call him. The wound never healed. It still throbbed and bled every time you remembered the words he told you that dreadful day. "I think we should stop seeing each other." It felt like you would never get over him. How can one get over such an overpowering, raw feeling? He marked you forever, like a bruise that seemed to never disappear from your skin.

The flashback came like thunder in a storm, haunting your thoughts with a loud pain that echoed through your mind. What you told Jake that night.

“The truth is I love you. The truth is I can't take this anymore. I'm giving you my everything but you don't seem to be doing the same. You're still guarded.” There was a tense period of silence “Jake… I love you. But I don't think you feel the same.”

Maybe you shouldn't have said anything. Maybe if you had kept your mouth shut, he would still be with you.

Ugh!! Stop that, now, (y/n)! Some self love, please? You're better than this. You deserve better.

You tried to convince yourself of that, at least.

The pain was unbearable at times and almost easy to conceal at other times. It depended on how distracted with work or your studies you were. These days you ran to any distraction that could ease the perpetual angst that squeezed your heart inside its hands all the fucking time. It had been like that ever since Jake left you. What were you expecting anyway? You should have known you were never truly loved by Jake. The love of his life was Neytiri and it would always be, alive and walking through Pandora or dead and with Eywa.

It felt beyond weird to have to hear people talking about Jake and have to pretend he was a stranger to you, someone you barely knew, when he had actually left a mark so strong on you, a memory ingrained in your brain, a feeling, a pain buried inside your heart that made you want to scream and hit your head against a wall. That's how much it hurt.

You would never have his body against yours again, warming you up when it was cold, after you spent the whole day in that damn lab, studying Pandoran plants but all you could really concentrate on was how much you missed his reassuring, protective presence. He made you feel safe for the first time in your life. But now he is gone. Just like every single good thing you ever had in your life. But you know what? Maybe your mother was right, maybe love wasn't really something that could ever last forever.

Did Jake ever really make a real effort to be with you? Thinking back, it was extremely easy for him to just come to you and fuck you anytime he felt sad and lonely. What if you had just been a naive, dumb girl all this time? Were you mourning a love that never actually existed? It was always so hard to talk to him about his feelings for you, he never actually let you in, to be honest. All the time you two spent together, you were never able to know if he ever saw you as a partner or just a fuck buddy. 

Oh, but the high… it was worth all the lows. The butterflies in your stomach every time you guys were almost caught fucking in the back of your work room by Norm. Eventually you guys had to tell him about your situationship because, oh well… he already knew what was going on, really. Norm is not a fool or a child. He could add 2 plus 2.

The adrenaline was worth all the tears. And, fuck… you would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

𓆩♡𓆪

Taglist:

@aonungsoneandonly

@coldbabyheroin

@fairyyrosee

@myh3artttt

@explosiongamora

@ufiy

@yeosxxx

@happyyappysworld

@avatar4eva

@henhouse-horrors

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@fujimoribaby

@layla2-49

@zoetrope1997

@yeosxxx

@luvv4j4ybe11

@bakugouswaif

@slytherdor01

[thecapricunt1616]

Balessan - (c.b. oneshot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒):“The Cub takes down The Bear at the 20 yard lineee!!” Mikey shouts ferociously, jumping up and pouncing on Carmys chest in a bodyslam. Carm groans, “Ohhh you little cheater- when did we start wrestling?! They don’t do bodyslams in football, kid” he wraps his arms around Mikey, caging him in and tickling his sides, causing him to squeal and laugh wildly.

♡ O.S Inspo: Balessan ; Also known as: Poplar Buds, Balsam Poplar, Balm of Gilead, Mecca, Mecca Balsam, & Bechan - This Magickal herb can be used to bring forth; Love, manifestations, protection, healing, de-stressing, and assisting in healing from the loss of a loved one. Use in love sachets; carry for healing, protection, and mending a broken heart. ♡ Summary: This amazing, big brained, fabulous & wonderful request is inspired from this ask from my beautiful flower @daysofyellowroses - Thank you my love. -- In this O/S You & Carmy spend a day with his nephew at the park!

♡ W/C: 4,200

♡ Posted Date: 03/19/2024

♡ A/N: Aaaa! look at me pumpin' these one shots out like hot cakes!!! Get your requests in folks I have a long weekend ahead hahaha!! This was BEYOND fun to write, thank you so much again Rose for such an amazing request. I hope it's everything you imagined!! I lovee love love writing mushy happy Carmy, he deserves all the love in his life!! I totally see him being the pushover uncle just like this, Happy Meals & Ice Cream for daysss!!! <3

♡ Warnings for BTC: NONE!!! Well... carmy smokes a cigarette at the end? That's all hahah - ***NO USE OF Y/N - AS LITTLE PHYSICAL DESCRIP. AS POSSIBLE - READER IS CALLED 'BLOSSOM' IN THIS O/S :)***

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

Carmen had never felt true love before. He didn’t think he’d ever know what that felt like. He’d heard stories of parents meeting their newborn babies for the first time, saying that ‘it was an indescribable feeling of holding the entire world in the palm of your hands.’ And that to him, sounded like bullshit. 

It was sweet and all, but considering the way his mother and father treated he and his siblings growing up- that moment was fleeting at the very least. 

That was what he’d thought, until that is- he got the call that would change his life, forever. 

Sugar and Pete had kept the gender of their baby a secret, Carmy was very excited for them, and though Pete wasn’t his favorite person- he knew in his heart he’d be a great dad. Better then he could ever do at least, so that had eased his mind for the new blood of his family. 

Pete had called to inform him that Sugar had given birth, finally, he thought to himself. He didn’t realize that the labor process could take days. Sugar had went into the hospital on Tuesday, in the early afternoon when her water had broken- it was now 4 pm Thursday evening. It was about time for the kid to make an appearance. 

He’d made his way down to the hospital right away, no questions asked. It was Sugar after all, and after Pete had told him she wasn’t having any visitors, but had requested that he specifically come see her- he wasn’t gonna let her down. 

He’d even stopped at the 24-hour deli convenience store on the way, getting her a club sandwich that she’d been moaning about not being able to have for months - something about pregnant people not being allowed to have lunch meat? He wasn’t sure what that was about. 

When he got in the room, it was so quiet, he could hear his heart thumping in his ears. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous- it’s not like the kid was gonna have an opinion on him…yet. But still, he knew first impressions were important. He also didn’t want to fuck anything up, he wasn’t very sure how to hold a baby- he’d never held Eva when she was young, and he heard babies necks were super floppy, so he was really nervous he’d hurt them by mistake.

“Hey..” he said softly, and Sugar sits up. She looked utterly exhausted, she was pale, her hair was knotted and sweaty all stuck to her forehead, and her eyes were bloodshot from either pain or being so tired, he wasn’t sure which. 

“Bear! You came!” She said quietly, opening her arms for a hug. He walks over to her, carefully wrapping his arms around her as he wasn’t sure if her stomach would be hurting or not, and kissing her cheek lovingly. 

“Y’re amazing Sugar, you did so good, thats fuckin’ crazy- you had a baby, Sug” he tells her, rubbing her arm gently. Carmen didn’t know much about pregnancy and birth, other than what he’d learned from Sugar over the past year or so. The only thing he really knew about the birthing process was what he’d seen on TV, and the fact that birth hurt like an absolute bitch, and that there was no way around it. 

“Thank you…is that-“ she asked, picking up the bag he’d placed next to her on the bed. He smiled a bit, pulling the sandwich out. 

“Club sandwich. Don’t say I never listen to you” he teased and she pouted, tears filling her eyes and she pulled him into another hug. 

“Y’re the best Bear.” She said. “Sorry…I’m gonna be hormonal for like..another year” she laughed a bit. 

He chuckled softly, rubbing her back. “I’m used to it by now.” He teased. 

The door opened, and a nurse wheeled in a bundle of white striped blankets in to the room, lying in a bassinet. 

“Oh! Uncle is here! Okay so baby did great, they’re all set. We got all the bloodwork we needed, took their k shot, everything is looking wonderful. I’ll let you get acquainted” she said, being sure not to give away the baby’s name or gender before they were ready, leaving the little bundle next to Sugars bedside before heading out and closing the door quietly behind her. 

The baby coos, making sweet adorable little noises. Carmen took the bag of food for Sugar, placing it on her bedside table as she carefully picked up her baby, cradling them in her arms. 

Carmen was in awe. Everything about them was so…tiny. So pure, so untouched by the world. He carefully nudged the blanket down so he could get a better view of their face, the babies teeny little hand peeking out. He couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped his lips as the babe curled their whole hand around his forefinger. 

“Sug” he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes and falling to his cheeks before he could try and hold them back. “Oh god…” he said softly, stroking the baby's tiny fingers with his thumb. 

“Michael Anthony Lombardi” she said softly. He looks up at her, jaw dropped. 

It was totally something sugar would do, so sentimental. Naming her first son after her 2 brothers. But now, Carmen felt even more attached to the little guy. He was carrying his name- he had to take care of him, protect him, the same way Michael had done for him. 

Carmen sniffles, kissing her head and resting his cheek on top of it as he looks down at the beautiful little baby. Well- maybe not beautiful physically- yet. Carmen always thought brand new babies looked fairly weird, of course he’d never tell Sugar that, though. 

But, beautiful in the sense that he knew what this baby meant for them, for their family. It was a brand new beginning, and maybe- just maybe…this would be enough to get his mother to clean up her act enough to be the grandmother for this baby how she couldn’t be a mother to he and his siblings.  “Nice to meet you, Mikey” he said with the kind of smile that made his eyes crinkle, vision blurry with tears.

It had been about 6 months since you and Carm had met, and one of the things you loved about him was what an active, engaged uncle he was with his little nephew, Michael. 

He’d grown plenty now since the first time he and the little cub met, being ‘a whole hand and a thumb’ as Mikey proudly told you the time you’d met the little firecracker at the first family dinner you’d attended. 

That little boy was Carmy’s sun, moon, and all of his stars. He was constantly spoiling him with new toys, clothes, taking him out for “Mikey and Bear” days, the kid was the lockscreen on his phone for crying out loud. If you weren’t dating him, with the way he talks about that boy- you’d think he was a single dad. 

Sugar very much appreciated it though, she never wanted to stop working when she’d gotten pregnant, so being able to balance four different days off with 3 adults, rather than just split the duties between her and Pete- it helped their lives as a couple run a lot smoother overall. 

It took a while for Carmy to even introduce you to Mikey. He’d been nervous, reverting to his old ways of ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ and nothing would crush him more, then introducing his favorite little guy to someone, getting him used to them, and then them leaving him.

He could handle that rejection- but he damn sure wasn’t gonna subject Mikey to that same pain. If there was one thing Carmen swore, it was to protect the child with everything he had. 

This was the third time you’d be meeting Mikey. Carmy had asked if you wanted to take him to the park together for a picnic after he’d picked him up from school, and of course you agreed. There was no better way to spend the afternoon than sharing snacks with your Bear under the shade of oak trees from the late spring sun, and chasing around Sugars mini-me until he clonked out on the blanket for a nap. 

When you’d arrived to the park to meet them, you spotted Carm’s large black blanket with his backpack and 2 matching big and small Nalgene water bottles, adorned with stickers from different water parks and amusement parks they’d been to together, but he nor Mikey were nowhere to be seen. But you couldn’t miss them with how loud Mikey was being. 

“No! No! I call foul!!” Carm laughed boisterously. You continue on, seeing them come in to view past the blockade of a large tree- to find Carmy rolling in the grass as Mikey tackled him for the football he was holding. 

“The Cub takes down The Bear at the 20 yard lineee!!” Mikey shouts ferociously, jumping up and pouncing on Carmys chest in a bodyslam. 

Carm groans, “Ohhh you little cheater- when did we start wrestling?! They don’t do bodyslams in football, kid” he wraps his arms around Mikey, caging him in and tickling his sides, causing him to squeal and laugh wildly.

“Wow! Uncle Bear has been lacking at the gym, thanks for takin’ care of my light stuff Mikey” you said teasingly with a big smile. 

Mikey quickly got up, running over to you “Blossom!!!” he squealed, crashing into your waist, nearly knocking you over in the process. Blossom had become your nickname in the family, since the first time they’d met you, Carm insisted you’d smelt like cherry blossoms, to which Sugar and Richie agreed, so from then on- you were Blossom. 

“Woah! Kid you’re getting strong huh? Peewee football training been gettin intense?” You give him a big hug. 

Carm chuckled, getting up and dusting the grass and leaves from his hair and shirt, coming over and greeting you with a peck on the lips. “Tell me ‘bout it- Thanks for meeting me, kids got crazy energy today.” He said, ruffling the boys curly soft brown hair lovingly. 

“Nowww can we eat our lunch?” Mikey looked up at him, his pretty blue eyes sparkling in the afternoon light. He really did look like Mikey, and Carmy mixed together in the best way. The Berzatto family genes were mighty strong, at least on the men’s side. 

“Yes Cub. Y’know…you scammed me into a happy meal before we got here, how can you be so starved?” He teased, causing you to giggle. 

“Again? Wow Carm, you’re going softer and softer as the days go by” you teased, sitting down with he and Mikey on the comfortable blanket under the shade of the trees.

“Well it’s hard to tell him no. Did you know he got a 100% on his spelling test t’day? Mikey, tell Blossom how to spell ‘water’ ” he told him with a grin. 

Mikey looks over proudly “w-a-t…” he stops for a moment, looking at Carmy nervously. 

“You got it bud, keep goin’- sound it out, what’s next?” Carmy encourages gently. 

“E! It's E! w-a-t-e-r!” Mikey finishes proudly and you both clap for him excitedly. 

“Oh my goodness! You are such a smart boy. Good job Mikey!” You gush, giving him a high five. 

“That’s right the smartest. First spelling test of the year, and you nailed it bud!!” Carmy praised, hugging him and kissing his head sweetly. 

“Mommy’s gonna be so excited!” He said, sitting crisscross as he opened up his pb&j Carm packed for him. 

“She’s gonna be stoked, Cub. Absolutely stoked” you told him, taking the sandwich Carm had offered you. 

“Oh! Blossom I learned a new joke- listen, so you say who’s there when I say ‘knock knock’ got it?” Mikey asks and you nod with a smile. 

“Alright, thank you for my lines ahead of time, Cub” you joked, earning a chuckle out of Carmen who had surely heard this joke one million times since he’d learned it, considering he saw the kid no less then 5 days a week. 

“Knock knock!” Mikey said, looking at you expectantly. 

“I’m doing the dishes” you said, causing Mikey to burst into adorable giggles and Carm to follow suit since he couldn’t help himself when Mikey got started. 

“Nooo! Blossom!” He giggled “you say ‘who’s there’ this time, ok?” He said and you nod. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll make sure to be not so busy this time.” You teased with a giggle. 

“Knock knooock!” He said again. 

“Hold on just a second! I need to feed mister mittens- my cat!” You said and he laughs again, shaking his head. 

“You promised! Blossom! It’s ‘who’s there!’ “ he giggled. 

“Okayyy! Okay! Whoooos there?” You oblige. 

“Harry!!!” He said happily, popping a grape in his mouth. 

“I don’t know a Harry- so scram!” You teased and he laughed so hard he snorted, causing you and Carmy to crack up in a fit of laughs together. 

“You’re bad at jokes Blossom, here watch, Bear will do it right f’me. Bear, knock knock” he looks over at Carm. 

“Who’s there, Cub?” He said, taking a bite of his own sandwich. 

“Harry” he smiled big, “listen blossom” Mikey urges, causing you to giggle. 

“Harry who” Carm said with a large grin.  “Harry up and open the door it’s raining out here!!!” Mikey said, bursting in to a fit of giggles which of course caused you and Carm to join.

“Ready or not here I come!” You hear Carmy say. You hold your finger to your lips, holding Mikey tightly in your lap in the tube slide so you both won’t fall and give up your ingenious hiding spot the two of you had come up with.

“Shhh! We gotta be quiet Cub or he’s gonna find us- the bear will eat you!” you joked and he covered his mouth quickly to contain his giggles.

“Where are youuuu!” Carmy called from the other side of the playground, you giggled quietly to yourself. 

“We picked a good spot bud!” you whisper proudly and he nods, hugging your arm sweetly. Leg suddenly cramps up from being in such an awkward position in a tube meant for children much shorter then you, and you gasp quietly, moving your foot to relieve it but in the struggle- your flip-flop slips off, sliding down the tube slide and you hear it thump on the ground below, blowing up your hiding spot. 

You and Mikey look at eachother as you hear Carm laugh, “Ohhhh! Dead!! You’re both dead!” he said and you quickly lift Mikey behind you. 

“Go Mikey! Save yourself he’s gonna eat you!!!” you laugh and he scrambles out of the tube as Carm climbs up from the bottom, grabbing your bare foot.

You squeal in laughter as he pulls you down the slide by your feet, catching you at the bottom and kissing all over your face and neck, nibbling as he goes. “You’ve been caught” he growls playfully, pinning your arms above your head and kissing where your shirt rode up over your stomach leaving playful lovebites on your hips.

“Hey!” Mikey yells, running up and hugging Carms leg, hanging on it like a little monkey. “Thats my best friend! Leave her alone you big grizzly bear!” he yells through his giggles, playfully hitting Carmys leg.

“Ohhhh you’re dead Cub, dead meat buddy” he pulled away from you, scooping Mikey up and swinging him around. “Y’think y’can just beat up y’re best uncle mm little man?” he holds him upside down by his legs holding him carefully and dangling him in front of your face causing him to laugh wildly. “I present your savior Blossom, he’s been defeated” he sways him teasingly causing him to laugh more.

  “Oh noooo! Cub! The Bear got you! I forgot to tell you….he and I were working together in secret- mwahaha!!” you laugh evilly, tickling his exposed belly and he wiggles screeching in laughter.

“Not fair- Not fair!!!” he said between giggles. Carm carefully laid him on your lap so he wouldn’t get sick from being upside down and checks his watch for the time.

“Alright- we got 15 minutes, do we want swings, slide, or playing a game?” Carmy asked, causing Mikey to whine. 

“Noooo! Bear! It’s not time yet!!! It’s not even dark” he pouted, pointing at the sun, causing Carm to smile. 

“Y’re right, its not dark, but bein’ a big man in kindergarten means you got big man responsibilities now, like goin’ home and doin’ homework w’Dad yeah? He’s gonna be waitin’ on you, Dad’s not a man I can reason with m’friend, Higher rank on the totem” he ruffled his hair. 

“Fiiiine” Mikey grumbled. “I wanna do swings, race me-” he jumps up from your lap, sprinting towards the swingset.

“Wha- hey! You’re supposed to say 1,2,3, go! Those are the rules cheater!” Carmy laughs as he jogs after him. You slipped on your flipflop, going after the two boys.

“I beat you! See Blossom my new shoes make me so fast!” Mikey called to you proudly, hopping up and sitting in the swing as Carmy finally caught up.

“I did! Super fast Mikey!” you agreed with a giggle making your way up to the swingset. 

“Oh! Oh! Blossom, let’s see who can get higher!” Mikey said happily and you oblige, sitting on the swing next to him.

“Alright, Bear- you’re the judge I guess” you smiled, starting to pump your legs.

“I’m a tough critic, I expect perfect form outta you” he teased, sitting down on the picnic table in front of the swingset as he watched. 

“I’m gonna win” Mikey said confidently, already getting a few feet higher then you had. 

You giggled, “Yeah- cause you had a head start” you counter, pumping your legs harder trying to gain more momentum.

“It’s lookin’ good for Mikey babe, keep it up kid y’re doin’ great” Carm encouraged, resting his hands behind his head and stretching his legs out as he watched. 

“Bear can I jump off and you catch me?” Mikey asked hopefully to which Carmen laughs.

“Noooo way kiddo, I’m not takin’ a trip to the ER t’night, I got work in the morning and either i’ll end up hurt, or y’mother will kill me” he said, causing you to laugh as well.

“You’re gonna break your neck kid, don’t do that at school, did that once as a kid and I broke my ankle” you giggled, gasping as your flipflop flew off once again and hit Carmen right over the top of the head, causing you and Mikey to burst out in a fit of giggles.

“Hey!” Carm said, rubbing his head jokingly with a chuckle.”Those things are proving to be a horrible choice of park footwear, baby” he snorts, setting the shoe next to him on the bench for when you got off.

“I’m sorry! My work shoes were a worse choice and these are all I had in my locker” you giggled, the wind whipping your hair as you get higher and higher in the air.

“Bear! Bear! Look how high I am!!!” Mikey said proudly to which Carm nods with a big grin.

“That’s right bud! Y’re so high right now, bet you could touch an airplane if it was flyin’ over huh?” he said, digging his phone out of his pocket to take a video. “Say hi to Mommy!” he said and Mikey laughed happily, waving at Carm.

“Hiiii Mommy! I love you!” he said sweetly with a giggle. “Am I beating Blossom? Huh Bear? Am I higher?” he said and Carm chuckled.

“Mhmm- sorry baby, I think Mikey has ya beat this time around,” he said, ending the video and slipping his phone back in his pocket.

“Well how could I beat the best huh?” you mused, stopping pumping your legs so your swing would slow. 

“I told you!” Mikey giggled, digging his heels into the woodchips to come to a hard stop and running up to Carmy, giving him a big hug. “Can we get ice cream bear?” he asked and Carm laughed, shaking his head.

“You don’t stop, huh kiddo? No ice cream, It’ll spoil y’r dinner. How ‘bout, if y’really good at school this week- When I get you on Friday, we’ll go you ‘n me yeah?” he pats his back and Mikey nods with a pout.

“Pinky promise” He holds up his pinky and Carmy hooks his own around it, kissing Mikeys hand, and Mikey kisses his. 

“See? Deal” he ruffled his brunette curls and got up, grabbing the flip flop and coming up to you, crouching down grabbing your leg and kissing down your calf causing you to giggle before he carefully put the flip flop on your foot.

“I want a piggyback!” Mikey said, jumping on Carmys back to which he caught his balance with his forearm.

“Woah! Okay! Alright piggyback it is bud but y’gotta tell me yeah? We don’t want anyone gettin’ hurt” he told him, hiking him up on his waist as he stood up, Mikey wrapping his arms around his neck securely.

“Ok I’ll tell you next time” he replied. You hopped off the swing, taking Carmy’s hand and interlacing your fingers as you walked, swinging your hands together happily. The weather was absolutely perfect today. Not a cloud in the sky, perfect humidity, 72 degrees, you were surprised there weren’t more people here at the park other than the fact it was a Wednesday afternoon.

The three of you made your way back over to the blanket, and Carmy gently sets Mikey down to fold it up and pack up his backpack with the remainder of the food we couldn’t finish. “Blossom look! Look! I can jump so high in my new shoes!” Mikey said, tugging your pants to look at him and you obliged, keeping him busy as Carm tried to get everything situated to pack into the car. 

“Alright little jumping bean, time to go home d’you wanna race to the car, or I’ll carry you?” He asked, putting on his backpack and carrying Mikeys for him.

“Race- 123go!” Mikey said quickly before taking off and you laughed. Carm shakes his head with a smile, holding your hand as you both walked after him to the car. 

The ride back was full of laughter and singing Bluey songs, of course. That was Mikey’s favorite show at the moment, and you couldn’t help but smile at the way Carmy sang with Mikey along to every word. Carmy had even gotten a little Bluey air freshener that hung on his rearview mirror, just another little piece of Mikey that hung around, alongside his carseat that permanently lived in the back, the polaroid of him, sugar, and Mikey on his dash, the many toys scattered along the backseat. It was more than clear that the little guy held his entire heart in the palms of his hands. 

“Alright buckaroo” Carmy said as he pulls into sugars driveway. Mikey unbuckles himself, flinging forward and wrapping you into a hug. 

“Bye awesome blossom, thanks for playing with me” he said sweetly. You smiled, ruffling his hair and wrapping your arms around him.

“We’ll do it again soon, bud. Be good yeah? Listen t’your momma” You told him, patting his back. Carmy got out, grabbing his bluey backpack for him, helping him out of the car and carrying him up the steps, opening up the door and heading in to drop him off.

You opened up the center console, digging out Carm’s cigarettes and a lighter, knowing he was gonna be craving one bad when he got back in the car. Sugar didn’t even have to ask, as soon as the baby was born- if he was gonna be around the baby he wasn’t smoking until after he’d left, so there was absolutely no chance of any secondhand smoke being passed on to him.

Cracking the window, you lit it, taking a drag as he shuts the door behind him and comes back to the car. You offered the cigarette between your fingers and he smiled, taking it after he buckled his seatbelt. “Have I reminded you today, how much I love you my perfect angel” He leaned in, giving you a sweet lingering kiss on the lips. 

You smiled, humming softly at the sweet gesture. “Yes- well- not in person today, but, you did text me - good morning, I love you when you went to work, so that counts” he smiled as he took a drag, backing out of the driveway carefully. 

“Well, I love you baby, What are we doin’ f’r dinner? Am I cookin’ er we goin out?” he cracks his window, ashing his cigarette before having another drag, resting his tattooed hand on your thigh, stroking gently as he drove.

“I’m in the mood for some Berzatto Family Pasta” you hum, resting your hand out the window to feel the cool kiss of the spring evening breeze.  “Family pasta it is, Blossom”

[lxvsiick]

BEAUTIFUL LIAR | LEE HEESEUNG X READER

PAIRING: boyfriend! lee heeseung x girlfriend! fem! reader

SUMMARY: All Y/n could do was lie to him.

GENRE: breakup, angst, sickness

WORDCOUNT: 753

A/N: i was feeling a little angsty when i wrote this on my walk :D enjoy! BEAUTIFUL LIAR by VIXX LR

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

This is a beautiful lie

My last lie

Even if it hurts to death

The air was thick with the weight of unsaid words as Y/n stood with her arms wrapped around herself, trying to shield herself from the cold—or maybe from the conversation she was about to have. Heeseung stood a few feet away, watching her with concern, the glow of streetlights casting shadows on his face.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice soft but tinged with worry. “You said we needed to talk.”

She couldn’t meet his gaze, her fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her jacket. Her heart pounded in her chest, the truth trapped in her throat. But she knew she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t let him see her weakness, her illness. This had to be done.

“I...” she started, her voice breaking. She forced herself to look at him, her face hardened in a mask of indifference. “I don’t think this is working anymore.”

Heeseung blinked, confusion flashing across his face. “What are you talking about?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, her words coming out harsher than she meant. “Us. I don’t love you anymore.”

Did I say those things without even meaning it?

His entire body seemed to freeze, disbelief flooding his eyes. “What? Where is this coming from?”

She turned away from him, tears burning at the edges of her eyes, but she forced herself to stay strong. “It’s just... I don’t feel the same way. I need space. We’ve been together too long, and I don’t want this anymore.”

He stepped forward, desperation creeping into his voice. “Don’t do this. You’re not serious.”

Her hands clenched into fists by her sides. Every word felt like a knife to her own heart. “I am serious. I’ve been feeling this way for a while. I just... I don’t love you, okay?”

My last lie

Even if it hurts to death

The pain in his eyes was unmistakable, and for a moment, she almost took it all back. She wanted to tell him everything—the diagnosis, the treatments, the reason she had to let him go. But instead, she stood her ground, staring down at her feet to avoid the heartbreak on his face.

He let out a shaky breath, his voice low and strained. “I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”

You told me to take back

the words I spit out

She bit her lip, shaking her head. “I’m not lying. It’s better this way. You deserve someone who actually cares.”

It’s alright if you leave me

I want you to be happy

The words felt poisonous, and she wished she could take them back as soon as they left her lips. His face twisted in anger, the heartbreak giving way to fury.

“Better for who?” he snapped, his voice trembling with emotion. “You think you can just throw everything away like this and act like it doesn’t matter? That I don’t matter?”

She flinched at the venom in his tone, her chest tightening. “It’s better for both of us. You’ll move on. You’ll be happier without me.”

His hands clenched at his sides, his face a mixture of pain and rage. “You’re selfish. You’re a coward. After everything, this is how you end it? Like I never meant anything to you?”

Her heart shattered at his words, but she couldn’t let him know the truth. She had to protect him from what was coming. “Just go,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Please.”

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes searching hers for any sign of the girl he loved—the girl who once promised him everything. But all he saw was a stranger.

“Fine,” he spat, stepping back. “If this is what you want, then I’ll go. But don’t come back. I’ll hate you forever.”

His words cut through her like glass, but she stood there, frozen, as he turned and walked away, his footsteps heavy on the pavement. Each step felt like it was dragging her heart further into the ground.

She watched him disappear into the night, tears streaming down her face, her body trembling. She couldn’t stop the sob that escaped her lips, her knees buckling as the weight of what she had just done crushed her. Her heart broke into a million pieces, shattered by the lies she had told to protect him.

And now, he was gone. Forever.

I’m a beautiful

No, a cowardly liar

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

MASTERLIST

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, lxvsiick, 2024

[starlostseungmin]

LIE TO ME, LMH.

✰ pairing: idol!minho x gn!reader

✰ genre: angst

✰ warnings: profanity, cheating, allusions to sex but not executed, just pain, grammatical errors and typos ahead. not proofread.

✰ word count: 1.5k

✰ song used: lie to me by 5 Seconds of Summer ー the afterglow series collab. ♡

✰ notes: thank you so much @comet-falls for making this collab possible! it was a challenging fic for me to write but i enjoyed it so much. please, to all who are reading the series, make sure to leave feedbacks and reblog the works of our wonderful authors because they deserve it for their hard work! don't forget it.

✰ series taglist: @fxckedupbitch ,, @rachabreathing ,, @haneuljisung ,, @mm-apples ,, @goblinracha ,, @maknaeswrld ,, @deyareasstuff ,, @michbang02 ,, @unsweetenedpeatea

There’s nothing wrong about breaking up. 

But to Minho, you were just so hard to forget. Maybe it was his fault that he blames himself whenever he thinks about you. Why did it happen? Where did he go wrong?  Where did you go wrong? For the past three years, you have been so happy. Who would have thought that your relationship would end with one repetitive mistake? 

“How many times did you do it?”

They say that the strongest relationship doesn’t depend on how long it is, but it depends on a person’s loyalty and faithfulness. You had seen a lot of it. He cheated because she wasn’t enough, she cheated because he’s stupid, he cheated because she’s not attractive, she cheated because he is just treating her like everyone else, there are a lot of reasons. You don’t know if they’re telling the truth and you have no idea how many times they did it behind your back. The relationship you build with him doesn’t go any different. 

“Did you love me?” 

There are questions unanswered. Lies. Happiness. Satisfaction. The love and domesticity. But a relationship is not complete without suffering and pain. Tears. Drunken messages and calls. 2 am fights and other bullshits. And just like everyone else, you and Minho had the same. It’s just that, one just had to take the ties between. You can cut it in half or he can just rip it apart. 

There’s nothing wrong about breaking up. 

You just did it late. 

“How long has it been?” 

The wind blows as it dances with the branches of the trees around the park. It is cold and your clothes aren’t enough to warm you up. But what feels more freezing is the relationship that turned into stone after years of being genuine. Minho sat beside you on the bench, watching the scenery together with the Namsan Tower standing a few miles away with the city lights glowing on a dark horizon. None of you decided to talk after every question. One had been keeping the answer. 

“I saw you.” A pause. “You were happy with them, and I thought I was making a name in your life,” There was a pain in that smile. One that could hide all the aftermath of what they did and as for youーnothing ever changed. “I went to New York to see you, even had to stay with you for a few days because I know you wouldn’t be home for at least a few months,” 

“You didn’t have to do that,” One said. 

“I did,” A pause again. “I did because I love you and I want to see you. How long have you been hiding this from me?” 

There were tears visible as it streams down to your cheeks. You loved him dearly, but you couldn’t stay like this forever and suffer. You admit your relationship with him had been crucial for the past few months, his life was busier than ever as you work in your family’s business. It wasn’t an issue before, the lack of time was not to blame一maybe it was or you were never really meant for each other. 

Or it was caused by a third party. 

It’s funny how the night changes when it started with Minho who was so head over heels as much as you. But when you woke up from a dream, everything fell differently. 

“I’m sorry,” He said. 

“Did you ever love me?” You asked, trying not to sound petty. 

“I did,” Minho said. “I loved you so much!” 

“Then how can you cheat on me?!” 

There was no answer again but pure silence. Nobody dared to talk, but you are sure it’s over for the both of you. He seemed happy with his new one but you feel the opposite. There are words that you wanted to yell at him, scream at him and tell him how fucked up this situation was. But there was none. It’s over, and if you were smart, you’ll forget about this and move on. Words come out makes it easy but how could you do it in just one snap?

And now, you couldn’t get something from him. 

Even those nights when you were lying naked on his bed as he kissed your body filled with warmth. The I love yous between heavy breaths and kisses. The way he made you feel his love and how your brain settled to think of him, and just him. Or those days when he would take you out on dates and escort you to your favorite places, cook for you, attend to his cats with you, and take care of you when you get sick. Minho was perfect, he was perfect, everything was perfect. 

He welcomed you into his arms as you cried harder. It hurts so much. You wondered why, how, and when. But all he said was, “Sorry,” 

Bullshit. 

“I bet he still thinks about you,” You heard Seungmin say beside you. 

“No,” You smiled bitterly. “He doesn’t,” But you weren’t sure. 

It is the night of the event that you were personally invited by the boys. It was a party to celebrate their success in completing their world tour and the awards they received from their recent album. And that closure with Minho that happened a few nights before has led to no changes at all. Seungmin patted your back as he gave you a small smile. He is your protector tonight and asked for a separate table from the 8 of them. Jisung also joined in. 

The staff already served the food but you don’t seem to have an appetite to devour it. Seungmin noticed how tired and exhausted you were from the breakup, and he knew he couldn’t do anything but keep you company. He understood how big of a jerk his hyung is, and still furious about why he had the guts to cheat on you. As if something changed overnight. 

“How long did you know?” You asked him. 

“4 months,” Seungmin answered as you gave him a nod. 

“Y/n, we did everything to stop him,” Jisung butted in but you just shake your head. 

“Thanks Jisung but, it doesn’t matter now,” You smiled at him. 

You looked at Minho from afar as he shared conversations with the CEO and his new partner. He looks happy, more than he ever was when he was still with you. And there, you wished you never started that relationship. You wished you never met him that night at the animal shelter. The pain he left still bothers you until 3 am. You couldn’t sleep at all, overthinking and everyone close to you knows you’re not happy. 

Seungmin held your hand when he sees tears running down your cheeks. It is such a pity to be this sad at an event when the public knows he is dating that person but your relationship was private. There are thoughts you wanted to tell him but just like what happened at the park that night, all he said was sorry. Seungmin pulled you into his arms and let you cry as Minho stole a glance at your table. You knew you are going to spend the next few months taking care of yourself and cleaning up the mess he made out of you. He licked his lower lip and contemplated to carry on another conversation with you again. 

“That damn asshole,” Jisung said clenching his jaw when Minho asked to talk to you. 

“Let them,” Seungmin said. 

And there you found yourself with him at the parking lot, standing face to face. 

“I have questions,” You started. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever get some answers from you. Sometimes I just don’t want to ask them.” You added, laughing bitterly in between. “Are you happy?” 

Minho bit his lip and took a deep breath before opening up, “I am,” He said as you gave him a nod. 

“After what you did, you are happy?” You asked again but before he could even speak up, a bunch of words followed from you. “You know what? I think you’re just a pure asshole who doesn’t care about me even if you showed affection. I still can’t believe you could turn your back away and the next morning you are already seeing someone else while you are still with me.” 

“But I loved you!” He argued. 

“Exactly!” You cried again. “But how about now? No, right? I’ve been dying to know but at the same time, it’s pretty stupid of me to think that you still love me because I still love you. But I’m not asking you to take me back. Just tell me you still love me, for the last time, please? Lie to me,” Your sobs were uncontrollable now and Minho just stood there, watching the mess he made out of you. 

“I love you,” He said, but sure there was hesitation before he spoke. 

“Thanks,” You smiled bitterly. “I hope you live happily,” You added turning away. 

And that was it. 

He lied. 

It is over. 

official taglist: @lix-ables ,, @zoe8stay ,, @gwynsapphire ,, @cherryhanji ,, @seungly ,, @sleepyleeji ,, @ppiri-bahng ,, @snow-pegasus ,, @milkybonya ,, @l3visbby ,, @djeniryuu ,, @tangylemonade ,, @hwan-g ,, @awkwardnesshabitat ,, @chrispychans ,, @therealhyunjingf ,, @hyunverse ,, @lino-jagiyaa ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @svngiem ,, @foxinnie8 ,, @ohish ,, @alyszaen ,, @dreamingsmile ,, @skzfelixlove ,, @stealanity ,, @minluvly ,, @flirtyskzbutterfly ,, @iadorethemskz

[dinasmoon]

𓂃⋆ MEANS SOMETHING | E.W

⇢𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: childhood bsf! Ellie x reader

ᰔ↝ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒚: Ellie and you have been bestfriends for years, she has had a crush on you forever but you are so oblivious to it

𝄞↝ 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐 : mean something by lizzy McApline, that's the way I loved you by Taylor swift

♡. ↝ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆, 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 (𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆'𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) i think thats it?

↝𝒂/𝒏: been working on this one for a while but finally finished it!! super shitty summery bc I have no idea how i do a good one anyways enjoy angels!!

𝐰𝐜: 𝟏.𝟑𝐤

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You made Ellie feel like a fool when you touched her so casually as if she was wanting for something you were unaware was there. You would bring up girls in your conversation, which made her go crazy. She didn't show it, of course not, Why would she? You guys were just friends. Ellie knew you treated her differently than other friends, and every time Ellie would think you might like her back, you'd use that godforsaken word. Friend. Yeah, sure just friends.

She was completely consumed by you, how could you not know? it something Ellie thought about constantly at night. She would do anything for you. Tell her to jump off a plane. And she's already on it. She has always been by your side since you were kids. There was no way she would ever stop being with you. That thought just seems impossible to her. You were there for her from her first bike lesson, which ended with her driving into a lake, a funny story, really. To her crying about some girl she liked. You have always supported Ellie and her stupid decisions. You weren't sure about your sexuality it's not something you guys ever talked about. Ellie knew that as kids you liked guys but after that, she hadn't really heard you speak about a single guy. You would just talk about girls you found pretty which made Ellie feel like she had some chance with you.

And she always loved the way you were with her.

You were sweet and caring, she never really thought she deserved it nor did she believe that such a sweet person could ever like someone like her. Every time you would show up at her house when you hadn't heard from her in a while. Your sweet embrace was the first thing she felt when she opened the door. Your arms over her and hugging her, she loved it. She wasn't really a hugging person but coming from you? it was always comforting.

Ellie always hoped for more, she didn't know when she started to hope for more. But at some point, she really was sure you liked her back. She would catch little things that remind her of you and think it's a sign from the universe that you are meant to be. She would even see your zodiac sign and find everything about it, just to find out if the astronomical bullshit would say you two were meant to be. Even though she doesn't really believe in it so when it doesn't match up with hers she would just curse and call it bullshit.

And that one night when the two of you stole Joel's alcohol and sneaked out to look at the stars. You had gotten so tipsy that you had kissed her. She was flustered and was frozen still from the kiss she couldn't believe had happened. You completely changed the topic but for Ellie? She was always there. Reliving in that moment. In that painful yet dreamiest reality she had experienced with you. She would often think about it, mostly on her sleepless nights. Sometimes she would even think it was a dream and even imagine that that moment was much longer than it actually was.

She didn't want to think that it never meant anything. Because she was waiting, for the perfect moment to confess. It was stupid really, to have a dream like that. It was unrealistic, and it showed in so many ways. As you guys grew older your relationship became a constant series of fights and arguments. Ellie didn't know how or why the fights started, but the last time you guys argued was it. You both stopped all contact. The silence made Ellie go insane, how do you go from talking every day to not at all?

Ellie still held onto the hope that one day things would go back to the way they were. That you would look at her the way you used to, and that the fights and arguments would disappear within the two of you. She knew it was wishful thinking, but she couldn't help it. She was still consumed by you, even after all these years. But maybe it was time for her to start letting go. To start moving on and finding happiness in other things.

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As time went the less relevant it felt to actually talk again. The time feeling like it moved slower than the years, you guys have been friends.

Yet here you are, debating everything about yourself. “You look beautiful tonight,” They said as they opened the car door. You were standing with your date about to get into their car. That wasn't Ellies car. The person Infront of you was perfect, sweet, and kind. But this felt weird, you knew why. But you tried to ignore it.

And you missed Ellie, your heart would always be with her, no matter what. But you still was on this date, bout to get into the car of this stranger and before you were aware of it you looked at them apologizing before turning your heels and walking away. Leaving them to wonder. You had made it. All the way to her house. Ellie's heart sank in both dread but hope as she saw you, looking as wonderful as ever, standing there at her door.

She was confused of course. You hadn't talked in a few months, making it impossible for her to understand why you would be here. With no explanation, you simply showed up at her doorstep. You tried to explain to her why you were there, but everything came out as a jumbled mess. All you knew was that you missed Ellie. You missed her smile, her laugh, the way she always knew how to make you feel better. And as you looked into her eyes, you realized that you had been blind to what was right in front of you all along. You loved Ellie, and you were willing to do anything to make things right between the two of you. And she looked so dreamy, in her oversized gray hoodie that you had borrowed and worn many times before.

It might even be the last piece of clothing of hers that you had worn before the silence in it all. You wondered if she was wearing it for that exact reason.

Her heart was pounding with excitement, but also with anxiety. She had spent countless hours daydreaming about you realizing your feelings for her, but over time, she had come to accept that it was never going to happen. That made this moment all the more surreal. And yet, here you were, standing in front of her, telling her that you missed her and that you loved her. It was overwhelming, and Ellie didn't know how to respond. All she knew was that she still loved you too, despite everything that had happened between you.

As you both embraced, it felt like all the hurt and pain from the past few months had disappeared. It was just you and Ellie, together again. And as you kissed her, you knew that you never wanted to let go. You would do anything to make her happy, to make things right between you. This was it, the moment she had been waiting for, the moment that you realized that you had always loved her, and that you always would.

As your lips finally parted, you couldn't help but smile at each other. You knew that this was the start of something new, something that could last forever. Ellie's eyes sparkled with happiness as she looked at you, and you knew that you had made the right decision. You were going to make things work between you, no matter what it took.

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As you both walked hand in hand, down the familiar streets, it felt like no time had passed at all. You talked and laughed, like you used to do, like nothing had changed. It was as though everything in the world was right again, just because you were back together.

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🎞️tags: @fleurclet , @princesspookieforevs , @likedovesinthewindd, @caraphernellie

[mncxbe]

11:11♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

You get the love you think you deserve.

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst /melancholy

𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: Dazai slowly falls in love with the woman who shelters him during the two years after he left the Mafia.

This is one of my first works and I'm so happy I finally get to share it with you. I wrote it while listening to the guitar version of Mary by Alex G. So basically that's the vibe. Enjoy!

"𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮"

That's what she always said.

He never gave too much thought to this idea until now. Not when they met that Friday evening in the dim-lit bar, not during the two year stay at her place and certainly not when she joined the organization he worked for. But now, as he was standing in front of her apartment buliding holding a bouquet of honeysuckle in one hand and saw him exit through the front doors, this thought popped into his mind.

It all started around four years ago. He never thought that someone could change his life as drastically as she did. She waltzed right into his mind and heart and never left. He still remembers their first encounter. He didn't even notice her staying on the red cushion chair opposite to his until she came over. "Hello stranger" she said as she set down her glass of champagne next to his "You look lonely". That evening she wore a crimson red dress. Her brown eyes looked so innocent, so kind. She took a seat next to him and extended her hand "I'm Y/N" she said with a warm smile on her face. As he shook her hand he didn't fail to notice how cold it was. He chuckled and took a sip of his drink. They talked about everything and nothing at the same time: favourite colours, great places to eat, cats and the weather. It was only when he mentioned his work that her wide smile turned into a frown. She listened as he told her all about his worries, how he was going to leave the mafia and had nowhere to go. When he was done talking she simply looked him in the eyes and offered to take him in. For a second he was awestruck, but he eventually agreed. They made their way back to her apartment, a way he still knows up to this day like the back of his hand.

They went up to the 17th floor. As soon as he entered her apartment he was met with a view of the city. The blinding lights of the buildings and boulevards blinded him. He heard her footsteps behind and turned to face her. A smile was plastered across her face as she crossed her arms.

"So? Do you like it here?" she asked.

"I love it" he replied.

In no more than three weeks he returned to her place carrying a bag with his belongings. He didn't pack almost any clothes so she would sometimes go and buy him some things.

It was funny for him to see how almost everything turned from hers to their. Her kitchen became their kitchen, her slippers, their slippers. After a while her bed became their bed, her memories became their memories. It was all too perfect and he knew that. The only thing that wasn't shared was his blooming love for her.

He first noticed the feelings on a rainy night after she returned from a gone-bad date with some guy. She was crying and he held her as she told him how shitty the dude was. He wanted to hold her like this forever, shield her from all the bad things in the world. "Y𝓸𝓾 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮". That's when she told him that night.

He never mentioned his feelings, but how could he? It would be wrong, unfair. She was so good to him, never asking for anything in return no matter how much she did. And she did a lot. She was always working and running around town, buying groceries, hanging out with friends, picking books for him to read while she was away. Kindness and friendship. That's what she showed him. She held him whenever he was sad or lonely and cooked for him on Sunday morning. Her favourite time of the year was Christmas. She always bought a tree that they decorated together. On new year's eve she was usually out with her friends but he always texted him some wishes at 12:00, followed by a long string of colourful hearts. The next day she would always sleep in so he made her breakfast in bed. That's how the years went by.

When he moved out 2 years later and joined the Ada she made sure that he had a new wardrobe full of clothes. "New job, new you" she said with a smirk on her face. He always loved that smile. The last day they spent together he made her promise not to tell anyone about the past two years. He was a brand new person with a future ahead and a career that couldn't be compromised. She reluctantly agreed and gave him a big hug before he left the apartment. He took almost everything he owned. All he left behind were some worn T-shirts. And his home, the only true home he ever had.

Around a year later she joined the organization as Ranpo's tutor. She wanted to pursue her dream of becoming a detective. She didn't have any ability and the job was dangerous, but if Ranpo managed to stay alive for so long so could she. Little did she know that he was protecting her from all dangers. It was time for him to keep her safe, to return her favour. Althought they had to hide their relationship, they still talked from time to time. He quickly got used to the sight of her in that grey uniform, with her hair tied up in a bun and a cup of coffee next to her as she was working on different cases.

One particular night the organization attended a party. She was there too, wearing a gorgeous black dress. Her heels made a clicking sound as she walked up to a waiter and took a glass of champagne from his tray. All eyes were on her that night, his included. She was mesmerizing. She danced and drank and cracked jokes with everyone, while he stood in the back observing her. It may have been the alcohol but that night he decided to finally confess his feelings. After all, she never had a boyfriend since they met, she never even saw anyone as far as he new and it must have meant something. Maybe she loved him too. He went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face but by the time he was back she was already gone. Kunikida said he didn't notice her leave so he started to worry. He quickly noticed the absence of his former tutor too, who was attending the party for the mafia. His heart sank when he considered the possibility of them leaving together but he brushed this thought away. He left the party soon after and opened her chat. The last message he sent was over a year ago "I'll come over tomorrow morning. Is that ok?" he quickly typed and pressed sent. The text came back almost instantaneously: "Ok Ill be waiting for you♡".

He smiled as he let his phone slide back into his pocket. She'll be waiting for him.

The next morning he made sure to put on his nicest clothes and bought her her favourite flowers. His anxiety increased as

he was approaching her building, not knowing what exactly he was going to say to her. Confessing after all these years seemed like madness, but he was a madman. His train of thought was interruped by a familiar figure leaving the building. Akutagawa. He didnt even notice him as he closed the grand doors, a dumb smile on his face. It was a smile he himself wore whenever he saw her. The smile of a man in love. His hopes shattered at this sight. All his fears came true and he started spiraling. But suddenly his mind cleared, her voice sounding loud and clear in his head: "𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮" .

He sighed and turned around, letting the bouquet fall from his hands as he turned around and made his way back home.

A few minutes after he entered his apartment his phone chimed. He saw her name on the display:

"Are you still coming over? It s almost noon :(". A sad grin made its way to his lips as he quickly texted back "Sorry I won't make it today. Don't worry it was nothing important anyway. Go get some rest". He set his phone down without waiting for her reply and he grabbed his glass of whiskey. His vision began to blur as he sipped his drink. Soon after tears started streaming down his face like a waterfall. He cried away all his sorrows and regrets, but this time she wasn't by his side to comfort him.

○☆°

// the honeysuckle is a symbol of pure happiness. In addition, it conveys messages of sweetness and affection. At its heaviest interpretation, the honeysuckle represents the flames of love, and the tenderness for love that has been lost.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

When the Wild Wind Blows ~ Negan Smith x Reader

Summary: A little after Lucille’s death, Negan finds a lone woman who asks to become his companion for the sake of survival the newly-arrived apocalypse. Together, they brave many challenges and their bond tightens, until a hoard separates them for an indefinite amount of time. With both thinking the other dead, they find new groups... Until they find each other once again, in the the midst of war.

They were supposed to go on for the rest of their lives. Isn’t that what they vowed to each other when they got married? That they will be forever together, until death do ‘em part? They should have changed that stupid vow. Something like - Even after death takes ‘em, or something. Anything! Anything that will ensure Lucille doesn’t leave him. He was so angry that she left him like that.

Negan sigh, stroking his bat as he looked into the small fire with dead eyes. He never imagined his life would end up like this. He never imagined his wife, his Lucille, the love of his life... Would die.

He was a prick. A shit head. He cheated on her multiple times, with her best friend no less. He deserved all the worst thing to happen to him - Divine punishment? By fire be purged... Was that how it went? Maybe. He deserved all that. 

But Lucille didn’t deserve all the pain she went through.

She didn’t deserve all the agony HE put her through... The supposed loyal, loving husband... Who was nothing more than an irresponsible piece of shit deadbeat husband who wasted his life away cheating and playing video games. He was the biggest failure in this world, and yet, despite everything, Lucille still stuck by his side, as if he was the one hurt, not her.

He didn’t deserve an angel like her, and he’ll never meet anyone like her ever again.

The news of her terminal diagnostic killed him much before this walker Apocalypse even started... But if these dead fuckers would have just stayed in their graves, his Lucille would have had a chance of survival. Go do her chemo and radiotherapy at the hospital, maybe do the surgery... Everything that needed to be done. And he would be there with her through it all. He knew the nasty side effects of the therapy - He wasn’t going to abandon her again. He mistreated her once - Greatest mistake of his life - But being met with the fatality of the situation, he couldn’t imagine his life going on without her. 

There was no life without Lucille.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ she wrote multiple times on the walls, before killing herself in bed, not before forgetting to keep herself bound and head covered, so she wouldn’t end up hurting him.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ she wanted him to destroy her dead body, to make sure she doesn’t end up as some disfigured dead shell of her former self, going around and killing people who have every chance of living.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ even in death, she wanted him to live... Even without her... Live for her as well.

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ even watching him from Heaven, Lucille was cursing him to a life without her body in his arms, without her sweet voice calling out his name, and her hands roaming through his hair... Her honey laugh whenever he’d crack some of his stupid jokes...

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ ... I would never leave you... But Lucille... What about me...? Now it is me, who is all alone, in this vast world... What reason is there to live anymore? There is no life without you... Lucille... Come back to me, please... I miss you so much... I love you so much...

Lucille...

Please don’t leave me like this.

It was always the Sun setting, and the Moon rising up on the sky and the Stars twinkling brightly that it reminded him of all the woes that his shattered heart was feeling. He was so absorbed in his own wallowing and sorrows... It was already a whole month passing, yet the pain didn’t diminish in the slightest. He was so preoccupied with his self-pitying, that he didn’t hear the soft rustle of the bushes, nor the light steps made onto the small twigs and the dead, crunching leaves.

It took a few approaching noises to make him finally snap his lethargic gaze up from the crackling of the burning wood, only to hear the faintest gasp. The was a figure there, hiding behind a tree - How silly. Negan narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the silhouette failing to pathetically to hide behind a tree far slimmer than her own body... But by the way the woman was peeking like a child, and the way her very long hair was swaying with the breeze out of the hiding spot... She must have been very aware of her position.

“Come out. I can see you.” he called out to her, but she merely leaned more to the side. “I know.” her voice sounded timid, yet somehow, it held some kind of... What was it... Defiance? No - He was a teacher, he knew what defiance meant when kids got bratty. It was a sort of confidence that she held, despite her fear of approaching him, almost like a wild animal, starving and seeing food for the first time. “If you know, why are you still hiding?” he asked, propping his bat to the ground and leaning his jaw on the handle. “I’m watching you.” she explained, not budging. “Watching me?” Negan asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “What for? Are you some Myers-level stalker? I’m no babysitter, I assure you... But I did teach kids before. Does that count?” he barked a laugh. “I don’t have a knife. Or a mask. Sorry to ruin your fantasy.” she huffed. “I’m trying to assess whether or not I should approach you.” “And what has your... Assessing concluded?” the corner of his mouth twitched upwards - For once, his mind was being distracted with something other than despair and misery. “... Inconclusive.” she muttered. “I could be dangerous, y’know? I have a bat - And it has barbed wire wrapped around it. One single hit, and you’d be dead. Care to re-assess?” he chuckled, almost villainously. “You have a weapon to defend yourself against walkers and other human enemies alike. Others have machetes. Some have guns... Machine guns... Rifles. Everyone has a weapon. You’re not special.” though her words sounded snarky and insulting, her tone was calm and sincere - She was just awfully blunt, despite how much she looked like a scared little baby fawn. Hilarious. “Do you?” the man was met with silence. “I guess not.” “Whether I tell you or not, I’d still be putting myself to a disadvantage by confirming information about myself. I don’t want to compromise my position.” she explained strategically. “You’re already at a disadvantage. I could both outrun and overpower you. There’s little a weapon would do to aid you.” the girl remained quiet a bit more. “Why did you approach me?” “I...” there goes that previously shy demeanour. “I want to join your group.” “There’s no group to join, darling, sorry to disappoint. Just lil’ ol’ me.” she still nodded. “That’s fine too. Anything is better than being alone.” her declaration stung Negan’s heart bitterly.  “Ain’t wrong with that one.” he muttered, more to himself than to her. “Aren’t you afraid I’d kill you?” she hung her head. “Come closer, let me have a better look at you.” it only made her hide back behind the tree completely. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you away like that.” she still didn’t budge. “I won’t hurt you.” “Will you let me join you?” she asked again, still not unveiling herself properly. “Fine, yeah, sure. Like you said - Ain’t so great being alone. Trust me, I’d know.” “Promise.” she sounded demanding, almost harsh even. “Promise? Ha! How childish of you!” he laughed once again, but he noticed the girl didn’t move at all. “What, you really want me to promise? That’s silly. I could easily break the promise anyway, nothing is keeping me from doing that.” still no move. “Why do you want me to promise so badly anyway?” “Because if you promise, then I have a reason to trust you - Then, if you betray me, it means that you broke your promise - Thus, it isn’t my fault that I trusted you, but your fault for being a jerk and breaking your promise to me.” Negan remained quiet for a few seconds, even unable to blink. Though he found some reason behind her words, they sounded like something the little girls he used to teach would say. It seemed to Negan that, with no means of defending herself, and finding him somewhat reasonable, this was her only means of surviving. How adorable. “You’re not really all that smart, are you?” he found himself asking, though without much thinking. “No - In fact, I am smart. I used to be a doctor, I worked hard, studied a lot. I was actually pretty good. Graduated among the top 50 or something. From an academic point of view, I am smart, and I know that. From a wisdom side, I, also, consider myself pretty smart, based on how everyone would come to me for advice.” Negan never expected such a calculated refuting. “But this isn’t the world we were brought up in. No amount of strategy games, apocalypse movies or rational, logical ideas can really guarantee you 100% survival chances.” she voice lowered. “I’m a frail, lone woman, also weaponless and with awful orientation skills. What chances do you think I have to live, even if I make all the stereotypically smart choices? There’s only so much I can run, hide, and live on air alone. The only smart choice I have left is to find someone who still has his humanity intact, at least to some degree, and find a way to stick by their side.” Negan sighed and nodded his head before he waved his hand at her to come over. “Fine, I promise I won’t hurt you. You can join me, do what you want.” how could he doom a young woman to her death by doing something as cruel as rejecting to protect her? He already let the most important person in his life down... Was this his chance to redemption? Was this a sign from Lucille, to keep on going?

Slowly, the young woman snapped her head left and right cautiously, before carefully stepping towards the man - Still weary at first, but she ended up towering over the fire awkwardly. Did she... Did she need some kind of invitation to sit down?  No, wait - From the way her eyes were flickering on high alert to each and every inch of his little camp, she was scanning every little thing - That, and she genuinely seemed socially awkward.

“Thanks.” she muttered. Quickly, Negan extended his hand, showing a seat for her to take, on the stump opposite of his log. She sat down, huddling by the fire. Now, Negan could get a better look at her. Her beautiful, long hair was a mess, but somehow, it worked, giving her a wild beauty look. She had no make up, save for the dirt and sweat caked on her skin and clothes for being away from home for so long. Her clothes were comfortable, but somewhat chic - A pair of jeans, nice on the leg, but not skinny - And she had some kind of charm, hanging from the loops on the waist. She had a simple black shirt and a cardigan over it - It was pretty long, and she used the sleeves to cover her hands entirely. But despite the casual yet still pretty elegant outfit, Negan spotted golden jewellery gracing her neck, fingers and wrists. Golden, with black gems. Did she use to be rich? Or did she just like dolling herself up? Was she on a date when all hell broke loose? 

There was a long silence, with Negan staring uncomfortably long at the girl, and her staring back, a sour look on her face. “I don’t appreciate being stared at. Please stop.” Negan smirked at her. “Can’t blame a man for looking at a pretty woman, can you?” “Yes, I can, and I will. You’re being creepy.” she deadpanned, making the man laugh more. “You’re a real piece of work, aren’t you, doll?” he found himself leaning forward, towards the fire. “Y/N.” she said. “My name is Y/N. Call me that.” though she wasn’t using a demanding, ordering tone, he still felt somehow inclined to do as she said. “Y/N. What a pretty name for a pretty girl.” Negan watched with amusement as she sighed in exasperation. “I haven’t taken a bath in over a month. I’m filthy, and I’m pretty sure that, if walkers could smell, they would all hoard over to tear me apart. No need to continue this whole gimmick of yours, it’s ridiculous and you’re making me uncomfortable.” she ran a hand through her hair, cringing a bit through the tangles. “Have you always been such a joyful presence in your group of friends?” he snarked her, though light hearted. Y/N looked down at the fire, silent. She attempted to open her mouth to speak a few times, before stopping herself. “You never told me your name.” she evaded that question - Did she feel attacked? Or did he hit a sensitive note with that question? “Negan. Name’s Negan.” she nodded at him. He realised that she would often take a few seconds to come up with her answers. Was she always so deeply calculated and serious? She needed to lighten up a bit.

Or maybe this strictly rational and straight woman got send by Lucille, to combat his overly leisure self? Was this a lesson that he had to learn from? “I wasn’t a party person. I’m not the kind to let loose and act like a fool. I know how to have fun - My kind of fun - But I know my limits and where I draw the line.” she shrugged simply. “I get it. I get it, don’t worry. I won’t do that, so you can... Take a step back and chill out a bit. I’ve got this beautiful babe here with me - As dangerous as she’s beautiful, ain’t she? - And she’s gonna keep us both safe. Don’t worry about a thing~!” he raised his bat and patted it on his palm - For a split second, he could see her body tense as she gulped, straightening her back, trying to mask her fear. “That’s... Good. But we’ll need to find some more weapons pretty soon. And other supplies.” as if on cue, her stomach rumbled. Y/N’s eyes widened, before hugging herself and hanging her head down, no doubt blushing in embarrassment. For such a strict and unbending woman, she was easy to embarrass. How cute. Negan grinned at her, before taking some food and throwing it at her. “Must’ve been a while since you last ate, huh?” her hands were trembling softly, holding the food. “Go ahead. I’m giving it to you. Eat. You need to help me scavenge for supplies tomorrow, right?” “Th-Thanks...” she muttered. “Three days.” she said, slowly digging into the food - Small bites, to trick her brain into thinking her stomach is full. “It’s not that long... Sorry for that.” “Don’t apologise, chill a bit.” her hair was getting in the way, and no matter what she did, it would keep draping over her hair like a curtain. It was hilarious, but it was clearly uncomfortable. Negan wanted to laugh at her misfortune - But then, he remembered the little thing that he still had in his pocket. Long before Lucille found out about her cancer, she had the most beautiful, long, blonde hair, and whenever she’d be at home, she’d tie it up. Negan reached into his pants’ pocket and retrieved a black hair tie. It was really, the only thing he had left from Lucille. 

‘Please don’t leave me like this  ♡‘ don’t worry Lucille. Even if your body isn’t here anymore, you’re still the same kind, helpful soul that you’ve always been. “Here.” stealing a kiss to the hair tie as soon as the woman before him wasn’t looking, he handed the tie for her to take. She looked in awe at him and his kindness, no doubt. “Can’t be fun, eating more dirty hair than food. You’ll end up spitting fur balls like a cat.” “...Thanks...” she muttered, bashfully taking the tie and tying back her hair, revealing her beautiful, yet incredibly exhausted looking visage. She must be dying for a good sleep. What has she gone through, he wondered. “You really don’t need to do me so much good. I have nothing to give you back.” “I’m not asking for anything in return.” he reassured her in a calmer voice. “You must be tired. Go sleep. I’ll keep watch.” Y/N looked at him with a skeptical look. “What, you think I’m going to bash your skull in while you’re sleeping? At least it won’t hurt. Quick death. Better me than those fucks, right?” “No... It’s not that. It’s just... You’ve already been kind enough to me. I should stay watch.” Negan looked her in the eyes for a brief moment - Despite how exhausted she looked and how dirty her face was, her eyes still had a spark of life, and a very beautiful shade.  “Don’t fret so much.” he muttered under his breath.

Y/N looked down and gulped the bit of bread and returned the remaining food to its rightful owner. She looked so awkward, Negan almost felt compelled to laugh at her, but he restrained himself. Instead, he patted her shoulder, urging her to come over and sit on the log, rest her head on his arm and sleep.

It felt uncomfortable for her, truly, but it was far better than laying on the dirty, cold, hard ground to sleep, or tying herself up on a branch and hoping she won’t fall off and end up walker food... Or a pinata. Albeit with a lethargic pace, Y/N ended up complying without another word, and unsurprisingly, as soon as she placed her head on his shoulder, Y/N fell asleep. Poor girl, Negan thought, watching her reach out her hands and gripping his arm, almost as if afraid he’d run away and abandon her, break his promise to her. She looked so vulnerable and afraid, now more than when she was awake. Judging from the way her chest was heaving up and down with ample, rapid motions, and how her fingers and arm joints would occasionally twitch, it was evident she was still very much alert.

Don’t worry, Y/N. I already abandoned someone like you before. I won’t do that again.

Without realising, Negan’s hand found itself caressing her hair slowly, but in a way, he almost felt as though he was trying to calm and sooth himelf, not her. He missed the feeling of touching Lucille’s hair, whenever she’d want to indulge herself, and she nuzzled herself to his side, expecting some pampering. If only things didn’t go to shit so quickly...

Lost in thoughts, the man didn’t hear the sound of twigs breaking - It was a mistake that he had already done once, and though it ended with an inoffensive party member, this time, he will learn that the biggest monsters aren’t the walkers, but the humans themselves.

Y/N jolted up as if electrocuted, and shuffled her feet away from Negan, looking around with wide, alert eyes, to spot the danger incoming. When he tried to speak, she immediately shushed him down. That’s when she saw a woman, afraid, running from the thicket, towards them. She was screaming for help, saying that there were two men trying to assault her or something. Negan was going to tell her to come over, to be protected - Surely, with Lucille in his hands, he could take down two stupid punks, right? Oh, how he hated stupid fuckers like those guys, thinking they could do whatever they want, especially now, in a lawless world.

To his surprise, however, Y/N, who was in a similar situation not long before, stopped the woman from approaching, and even threatened her. Her voice was harsh and awful, it shocked Negan. He was sure she would want to protect someone vulnerable and innocent, just like her.

From the deeper forest, two men, one with a knife, the other, a machete, came down like the huns, ready to chop them down into pieces and eat them for lunch. With great fear on her face, the victim ran towards them - But Y/N immediately threw a well-aimed jab at her face, making her fall down to the ground. “Y/N, what are you doing, she’s the victim!” he asked, looking with concern at her. “She’s as much of a fairy as those guys are. Get your weapon ready, they’re coming.” Y/N warned him - But he was stunned. How could a woman running away from those brutes be evil? The guy with the machete ran towards Y/N. “Well, well, lookie here~ Not only one, but TWO pretty girls to claim tonight~! What a great bounty, ‘aight, bro?” the two had ugly, crude laughs. With no warning, Negan watched in awe as Y/N chopped at his arm with her palm, before she threw a straight uppercut at his jaw, making him stumble backwards. Giving him no time to waste, she ducked down under his weapon arm and clung onto it, breaking the joint and stealing the weapon before decapitating the man. “WHAT THE FUCK?! J-JOHNNY?! Y-YOU FUCKING WHORE, YOU KILLED HIM! I’LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!” like a blind bull, the other offender rushed towards Y/N, and as he tried to slice at her face, she threw herself to the ground, rolling to his feet to trip him - As he stumbled on his feet, and Y/N made him fall on his stomach - She threw herself down on his back and broke his neck, making him fall limp. “I’ll be damned.” Negan grumbled to himself, completely mesmerised by the way a small, frail woman such as Y/N could pull off such neat and accurate combat moves. But unfortunately for him, that was his downfall - Not even once did he expect the victim to actually be one of the culprits, as Y/N so rightfully deduced, and before he knew it, the blonde woman dared touch HIS Lucille, and hold her with shaky hands and threaten him. “DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! Y-YOU! YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED THEM! YOU KILLED THEM BOTH - MY BROTHERS! YOU KILLED THEM!” her voice now sounded so revenge-driven and awful, only to shake like a leaf as soon as she noticed Y/N raise to her feet, covered in the blood of her victims, a knife in one hand, and a machete in the other. “You think someone like you can take that guy down? You can’t even hold the bat. You’re useless - Not only that, you’re useless AND evil. Playing the victim just to bait us... It’s been two months since the Apocalypse started. I’ve seen them all. You’re just a pathetic little girl, that’s what you are. You have made the wrong move. You’re going to die now.” Y/N approached the two with a menacingly slow pace. “Don’t worry, Negan. I’ll protect you.” “STAY BACK! I-I’LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR I WILL!” the blonde shrieked her lungs out, her grip on the bat tightening to the point her skin looked bleach white. “Nah, girl, I don’t think you will.” at once, the man got ahold of his darling weapon and easily wrestled it out of her grip. “You know what they say - Goodnight America.” with one swift move, Negan bashed her skull in, her brains and blood spraying all over the camp. Negan grinned victoriously, as Y/N only scoffed, letting the weapons fall to the ground, her body following soon after. “That was a fiiiine fight you had, doll.” Negan chuckled, kicking the dead woman’s body away. “Didn’t think you had it in ya.” “I... I learnt some MMA. Before all this happened. I, uh... I had to.” she said, trying to even out her breathing. “Had to? What in the world would prompt you to learn MMA, of all things?” he barked in shock and amusement. “...A situation quite like this.” his smile fell immediately. “I know more theory than actual techniques, really. But I practiced Aikido, Silat and Systema. Well... You can make the argument that Aikido and Systema are mostly the same, just that one is Japanese and the other is Russian. But they’re pretty good for my frame. I can at least defend myself, even against jerks with weapons.” though her legs were shaking like two flowers in the spring breeze, she managed to get up and make her way to the fire. “I guess... Even bad things can lead to good ones... If you can even call it that.” “Don’t worry, doll, I won’t make that mistake again.” Negan reassured her, reaching out his hand to wipe away the blood from her face. “How’d you know she was in on it?” “... I didn’t. I just don’t trust anyone.” she mumbled.  “You trust me.” Negan refuted. “You promised.” she said solemnly. “Promises meant nothing before, and they mean even less now.” he argued, but she simply shrugged her shoulders. “Why do you trust me?” “Because you said so.” she said simply.  “That’s not a reason.” Negan gave her a half-smile. “...I told you, didn’t I? I can’t be alone. I’ll die. You’re the only one I have left. Whether you kill me or not, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.” she explained, albeit reticent. “So... It’s not survival you care about, but not being lonely, huh?” she nodded. “Ha. Silly girl.” he snorted, only to see the dead face she had on her face. She almost seemed about to cry. She was too close to her breaking point, he realised. “...You’re not alone anymore.”

With a sigh, Negan felt Lucille slip from his grasp, as his arms wrapped around her body, pulling her into a tight embrace. He could feel he trembling, and her breathing had gotten ragged and uneven. “Go ahead and cry. You must’ve been through a lot. Cry all you want - Get it out of your system. It’ll help you sleep tonight. And in the morning, we can go get supplies and what not.” he reassured her, and at once, she heard the faintest, broken sob, as she buried her head in his chest. Negan guided her back to the log so her weakened legs wouldn’t give out, and he patted her hair, his chin resting on top of her head. He looked down at Lucille - Was this the right thing to do? He wasn’t moving on from her... He still loved Lucille so much... So, so much... He didn’t want to make her jealous anymore... But he was just reassuring a scared, lonely woman, right? Nothing wrong in doing that, considering the terrifying situation they’re in. “I promise I won’t leave you alone, Y/N.” 

Lucille... You will have to forgive me. I’m so lonely... I can’t function properly without you... But I’m so, so lonely without you...  Did you send Y/N to keep me company? To right the wrongs I’ve done to you? Is this my redemption? 

“You act all tough and strong, but you’re really just a little crybaby, Y/N.” Negan muttered in her hair. “But that’s fine. You’re a woman. It’s the man’s job to protect you against monsters of all kind.” what she was feeling, he couldn’t know, and probably never will. But it was fine. He failed his wife once, disregarding her feelings. He won’t make the same mistake again. He let a woman sully her hands, her soul, all to protect him. No more. He was going to be the deadbeat failure of a husband no more. 

Negan is here.

As promised, he allowed her to sleep for as long as she needed, up to the point that she woke up naturally, and felt refreshed. Maybe, at least a little bit. He remembers those studies that claimed a lost night of sleep can be solved with a week of proper amount of sleep - But they couldn’t afford such luxury anymore. Together, they travelled aimlessly through the abandoned city, wondering at how quickly a place can turn so... Dilapidated, as if it hasn’t been inhabited in centuries.

Too many close calls, too many walkers, and far too many dangers. It was dangerous being just two people, but it would have been just as dangerous in a bigger group also. But it was fine - They could live on and thrive together pretty well. They were even able to eat once every two days, and drink good water. 

Weeks passed by weirdly fast - Or at least, they thought those were weeks, not months, based on the amount of times they fell asleep, and remembered to count. Surely, they must have missed a few times, there was only so much they could do, and even the daily routine they tried so hard to cling onto, the last string of hope that kept them associated to humanity, to their old life - Even that was close to breaking.

But the more nights passed, the more conversations at the roasting fire they had. It was the time Negan loved the most, and really, just about the only thing that gave him any joy whatsoever anymore. Even the pain of being torn apart from the love of his life so violently seemed to ameliorate bit by bit, all thanks to the conversations he had with this woman. Somehow, he kept him grounded to real life, and had him going on without any thought of giving up.

Here and there, they talked about their lives before this all happened. Negan felt absolutely humiliated. Not only was he the biggest dead beat in the world, but hearing the woman speak of her hard work and all the sacrifices she’s made to get to the top and achieve the career of her dreams, it felt motivational, but also fatalistic and depressing. All her life, she’s done nothing but study and work, for that one day, when she finds a partner, they can travel the world together and live a beautiful, happy life.

It reminded him of himself with Lucille in a way. He should have worked hard and provided for her too. He should have made her life a beautiful dream, not a nightmare. Should have spoiled her with all the most luxurious gifts, and brought her to all the lush, exotic vacation trips. Alas... All he did was play video games all day. What a pitiful, useless excuse for a man he is.

No, he has to do better. Be better.

Still, no matter how much they talked about their lives, neither of them dared touch the topic of their private life. Family, partner... Nothing. It’s as if they both knew it was such a sensitive topic that they were afraid to touch upon it.

“Hey, Negan, come over. Let’s check this one out.” Y/N motioned for the man to come over as soon as she was able to find a way inside the abandoned house. It still looked decent and fairly well kept, even from the outside. 

The two slowly crept inside - It was rather clean, save for some accumulated dust, and with a single walker inhabiting the home, they decided to make it their temporary residence, for as long as they could, at least. The small house even had running water - Was this a miracle?

Stashed away in the basement, they found a ton of canned food rations, and even water and alcohol of all kinds. They hit the jackpot. After eating some, Y/N went first to take a long and very welcomed bath while Negan stood watch, then they reversed the roles. Thankfully, they even had some nice clothes left behind by the old owners of the house. Fresh as a daisy.

After securing the perimeter, the two sat down in the living room, as per the ritual of having conversations by the fire, yet now, they chatted over a glass of wine and whiskey specifically. The quiet didn’t last long between the two, as Negan, as always, was the one to speak up first. “So, you’re not looking for anyone? No family, no friends - Nothing?” Y/N shook her head. “Come on, really? I don’t believe you.” “Believe what you want.” she shrugged. “I never really had friends. I mean... One of them was an online friend, across the ocean. We’ve never met. The other, well... She was too busy with her own family. We kinda lost touch after a while. It was all me.” he didn’t miss the bitter tone that rolled off her tongue. “Okay, fine, I get that. I didn’t have either. But what about your boyfriend?” she shook her head. “What, didn’t make it?” she shook her head.  “I didn’t have any.” Negan was speechless. “I didn’t want to waste my time on good for nothing men.” that sentence alone seemed to shoot a poisoned arrow through his heart. “In the end... I was wrong in wanting someone good for myself. It’s pitiful.” she scoffed. “What’s the point in working so hard, if you end up miserable anyway?” was this how Lucille felt, having him as her husband? A good for nothing, worthless excuse of a man? She deserved better than this. “N’aww, don’t say that, doll. You’re a fine lady. Beautiful, smart, diligent. Incredibly bad at social interacting.” Y/N let out an amused scoff.  “And what has that helped me with?” Negan remained quiet. “It was just me and my parents, and my dog... But thankfully, my dog died last year. Didn’t have to put the poor old lady through this mess. Mum died of cancer, dad followed soon after, from a broken heart. Left me all alone.” Y/N sighed. “It sucks, you know. You see how much your mum and dad loved each other, but you can’t find someone like that. It’s stupid.” she gulped down the whole wine glass in one go. Negan had his head down - This whole talk turned far more somber than expected. She’s lost as much as he did, and more.  “Lucille was my wife.” he admitted. “She was... The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Smart, charming, charismatic, funny, kind, understanding. Everything anyone could ask for.” he stroked the bat lovingly, flashes of his wife’s smile flashing before his eyes. “She... Was diagnosed with cancer too, a little before the world went to shit. Used to go bring her chemo bags, and wigs in bright colours of all kinds. She was always so cheerful.” after a few seconds of silence, Negan gulped. “On the last run, I found her dead in her bed. She had killed herself. Didn’t want to be a liability to me, as she put it. Silly woman. She was too good for me. She deserved better.” “She loved you, Negan. It doesn’t matter whether she deserved better or not. If you felt she deserved better, you should have done better. But she stayed by your side. She loved you for who you are. You two were happy together. And it’s evident, how much you still love her, even now.” Negan couldn’t help but let out an amused breath - He didn’t have the heart to point out that he cheated on the love of his life and caused her immense misery, when she needed him the most. He couldn’t shatter her dreams of a love written in the stars... Nor did he want to be reminded of the shit mistakes he did. “Well, aren’t you the romantic one.” he tried to divert the conversation to her, rather than himself. “Whatever men you dated in the past, must have been really happy. Poor bastards, didn’t live up to the expectations. Pathetic.” “...I’d... Rather not... Talk about that.” the way her fingers clutched tightly the wine glass, and the grimace on her face, made Negan thing that she didn’t have pink experiences. Life ain’t always sunshine and daisies, even for the nicest of people. “I... Need another drink. Do you want some more whiskey too?” Y/N got up, picking the two glasses after his approval nod, and waltzed into the kitchen. 

From back at the living room, the loud noise of glass breaking echoed. “Negan? You okay?” Y/N called out, pouring the booze and walking back towards the cozy room. There, instead of finding her companion sprawled over the couch, she instead found him kneeling on the ground, blood leaking down his forehead, and a man was holding a gun to his head. “...Oh.” Negan could see the terrified look in her eyes. She really was afraid of men, wasn’t she? Rightfully so. Men are monsters - He knew that best, after all. “Behind you!” he called out - but it was too late. The other culprit had been waiting just around the corner, and his arms wrapped tightly around her body, immobilizing her. The two glasses shattered to the ground as she struggled and clawed her way out, but it was to no avail. No amount of combat techniques could prepare her for getting clinched like that.  “Hahaha, look what fine bounty! Who’d have thought!” the one holding her said, knife to her throat, so deep into her skin that droplets of red inked her down to her shirt, staining everything in its path. “Kill that fucker, and when you’re done, come join the fun.” “NO!” Y/N shouted desperately. “Don’t kill him! P-Please, don’t kill him!” she heaved, careful not to get her neck sliced even more. “I-I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll even show you all our ration, a-and tell you supply centers around the place that haven’t been raided! Just please, don’t kill him!” Both men laughed, ugly, nasty grins on their faces. “Aww, how cute! Lil’ bitch thinks she can order us around~! Ain’t that adorable?” one of them said. “He yo’ husband or what?” neither of the victims said anything. “Haaa, he sure is her lil’ fucktoy! Well! If you love him so much... Might as well give him a little present. We give you a lil’ bastard child, and he gets to hear your sweet little cries. Oh, he’s gonna LOVE it!”  “You speak too much, man. I’ll keep watch. Just go get it over with. Send the bitch over when you’re done. I want her little lover boy to watch as I fuck his pretty, little girl, over and over again.” that one continued with the nasty speech for so long that Negan was sure he could see Y/N fainting, just a little.

Y/N’s struggling came to an end, after the one holding her punched her face hard enough to tame her down, and with one hand buried deep in her hair, he threw her out of the room, and onto the ground, then straddled her waist, bringing her wrists together and binding them with a burning rope, in front of her body. With his knife, he split her shirt in two, followed by the last piece of fabric covering her chest. “I always had a thing for blood, y’know. Red suits you well, pretty bird. Now sing for me a sweet thrill, loud enough for that guy to hear you.”

In his attempt to remove her pants, clumsy as he was, he had to put down the knife and use both hands - It was the perfect opportunity for her to throw her arms around his neck, and using the legs around his waist to shift positions, enough to use the rope and hands to strangle him to death. As he was struggling to breath, Y/N started screaming and pretending to sob - It was the perfect cover, as her breathing was heavy, and her voice broken anyway. When finally, the assailant was unconscious, Y/N quickly took the knife and shoved it in his skull. She then looked down at herself, and though embarrassment was too light a word for the way she was presenting herself, she took off her jeans and hid the knife in the sleeve of her long cardigan, keeping her hands tied.

Meekly, she tripped over her feet, stumbling pitifully, painfully, all an act. Tears were running continuously down her face, and her expression was outright horrified and hopeless. “Awww, look at you! This look suits you better, y’know. C’mon now, get on your knees. Show me what you do to this man to keep him staying with you.” the nasty words the fucker was saying almost went unheard by Negan - All he could focus on was the broken state of the woman he swore to protect, yet failed once again. Once again, he lets down the only person that matters in his life anymore. Lucille was gone... And now... Y/N... He thought they would be safe here, in this house. He let his guard down. He was caught off guard. He couldn’t win with his bat against a gun. 

There was nothing that Negan hated more than men taking advantage of women - He wanted to strangle the life out of this fucker. No, even better. Beat him to death. Bash his skull in. Make him suffer. Rip his dick off and shove his balls down his throat. Anything, for revenge. Anything, to save Y/N from this suffering.

He watched her slowly approaching, her head lowering before the man holding him hostage. Her whole body was trembling violently, but she didn’t go down. She just stood there, so very close to him. “Come on, bitch, get down.” the fucker quickly undid the button of his jeans and zipped them down, then put his hand on her head, gripping a tight fistful of her messy hair, no doubt trying to push her down - But she lunged forward. With a hidden weapon, she stabbed her assailant in the stomach, wide enough to spill his guts out, as if it was a dishonored samurai committing seppuku, only to have his head stabbed also.

“They’re... Really... Not that smart...” Y/N scoffed, stumbling backward and awkwardly cutting the rope holding her wrists together. “Damn, it left burns.” she muttered, staring down at her red, pained skin. As if remembering about his existence, Y/N shifted her gleaming eyes at Negan. “Are you hurt?” she asked, noticing the bound hands, and crouching to liberate him also. “Sorry it took so long. That guy took longer to suffocate than I imagined.” she muttered, turning around, knife slipping from her grasp. “Don’t ask ME if I’m hurt -- Y/N, what the hell, I --” Negan got up to his feet, and looked down at the broken woman standing in front of him. “I’m fine.” she cut him off. “It’s... Not the first time... I’ve dealt with this.” she shrugged, though she tried to appear unbothered, it didn’t work much. “Only this time, I was able to retaliate before anything could happen.” the implication made his head swim, but he had to keep himself grounded and act accordingly. It wasn’t he who needed comfort and help, but her. Though he protected her against hoards of walkers on end... It was still the humans that he couldn’t get a handle on.

Things really had to change, and fast, before another incident such as this happens again. “Come ‘ere, doll. Ain’t no way I’m letting a pretty princess like yourself walk around this dirty house like that.” Negan spoke light-hearted, as he picked her up bridal style... Just like he did to Lucille when he carried her home after their wedding... And he brought her to her room, carefully placing her on the bed. He couldn’t help but steal a glance at her eyes - Wide, surprised, and wet from the tears she spilled. If only he could make any reason that could make her cry disappear. He hated seeing her upset. He wanted to see her smile only. She had a beautiful smile.

Negan opened the wardrobe wide and threw some clothes at her, before going to the bathroom to take the medical kit and wet some towels to take care of her wounds. “It’s... Not that big of a deal, really. You... You don’t... Need to.” she bashfully looked away - She looked so adorable, with those large clothes swallowing her whole. “Stop worrying so much over silly things, doll.” he flashed her one of those charming, dazzling smiles of his. “It’s the least I can do after you’ve saved me. Again.” he said. “I’m pretty shit at keeping you safe, huh. You’d do much better without me.” “Shut up.” she gritted her teeth. “Don’t say that.” she warned. “I don’t...” she hesitated for a little. “I don’t want to go out there, alone. Not again.” “Oh, I’m not complaining about that, doll. In fact, it works well for me, I’d say. Great company is always welcomed.” he didn’t dare try to joke about how pretty she was anymore - Not after the course of filth those two spewed her way. She must have cringed into eternity. Even now, it was obvious how uncomfortable his touch felt. She was going to awkward-herself into an early grave. Still, he couldn’t quite understand why she wouldn’t loosen up around him. Maybe that’s just how she was. Always stern and strict, always cold and guarded, and bound by some impossibly strict personal rules. But it was fine. He liked her just the way she was.  “Uh... Thanks.” she nodded. “I... Also... Like your companionship.” Negan couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re really shit at chatting, y’know that, right?” Y/N nodded pitifully. “But that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. I’m sociable enough for the both of us. Keep being yourself, and I’ll deal with everything else around, a’ight?” Y/N gave him a small smile, cringing a bit at the stinging sensation of the antiseptic touching her neck wound. “Alright, Negan. I trust your word.” she spoke in a whispery tone. “...Hey, Negan?” she timidly called out his name, as he watched him put the med kit away.  “Yeah, doll?” “Uhm... D-Do you, uhm...” Y/N gulped, her gaze down on the ground. “Do you think that I could... That I could... W-Well...” “Don’t be so afraid of asking me for something, Y/N. I’m not the big bad wolf. I won’t bite you.” he urged her to speak. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” she finally blurted out, surprising the man with her uncharacteristic request. “I... I can’t sleep at night. At all. I keep waking up as soon as I’ve fallen asleep. I have nightmares and panic attacks and... I just... I’m afraid to stay by myself.” so honest, Negan was speechless. The lack of response made Y/N clear her throat. “Sorry, forget I asked, that was childish. You can go sleep now. Goodnight, Negan.” Y/N wanted to claw her face from embarrassment, but finally the man saved her from doing just that. “No, no - Doll, it’s not childish. We’re in hell. Everyone is afraid. I get ya. I’m afraid too, you know? But it’s fine. We’ve got each other, right?” he extended his hand for her to take. With great reticence, Y/N gingerly placed her hand over his, and was guided to his room. After the proper invitation, Y/N went to settle on the large bed, glued to the corner of the room, and huddled against the wall. “Most people fight over the edge-half of the bed.” “I never liked that half. I never felt safe. I could never sleep properly.” she admitted. “Took a while to get used to a bed in the middle of the room, with no protective wall next to it. It was awful.” “So this is a thing from before Hell, huh?” Y/N nodded in shame. “S’okay, don’t be so ashamed of that. Nobody likes being alone, after all. Besides, there’s many fears that lone women have to live with. Can’t blame ya, especially after what just happened.” Negan discarded his jacket on the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. “But you don’t have to fear anymore. For better or for worse, Negan’s here, and I won’t let anyone hurt you again, okay, Y/N?” “...Yeah. That’s right.” she smiled gratefully at him, watching him lay down in bed, before extending his arm towards her, and he looked at her somewhat expectingly, but she had no idea why.  “Come over. I’ll play with your hair. I know you like it.” he urged her. “I’ll even throw a lil’ song for you. Or a story. How’s that sound?” “Skip the story, it will keep me awake. But remember it tomorrow, for coffee.” she dragged herself over, trying not to let her tachycardia known. “Wouldn’t mind the song though.” she said, already feeling her lashes fall onto each other from drowsiness, as his hand worked magic caressing her hair. “Now that’s more like it.” his low chuckle vibrating in his chest sent rumbles to her senses. It was such a soothing resonance, his voice was addicting and so calming. She felt so safe, listening to him, that she had no idea when the song ended, or when it even started, for she fell into a deep, restful sleep. And Negan couldn’t help but watch, her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, her smaller hand still clutching onto his shirt for reassurance that he wouldn’t just disappear.

Would Lucille be disappointed in him, for moving on so quickly? He’ll still love her - To the end of his existence, and back, so she needn’t be jealous. He’d never cheat again. But... She wasn’t there with him anymore. Y/N was. And Y/N was a good woman. Surely, Lucille would be happy that he was able to find someone that could mend together with perfect sutures his broken heart. Someone that is as broken as he is, just, in different ways. Lucille wouldn’t hate him, would she? Not for this. He deserves all her wrath for all the wrongs he’s done to her - But not for this. He needed this, as much as a man lost in the desert needed a drop of water. It wasn’t easy, attempting to make a move on Y/N without scaring her away. She was like a limping dear, or a starving fox - Wanting to approach, but too afraid to, though she masked it well enough with that proper etiquette facade of hers.

Whether she wanted him as a lover or not, her mere presence was enough, at least. He felt content, even like this. It was fine. It was perfect, just like this. During the day, they’d scavenge around for supplies, and at night, they’d chat until they felt sleepy - And then, they’d go sleep - Together also, now.

But Y/N seemed to have quite the agitated sleep - Was she having a nightmare, Negan wondered. His arms tightened around her body, hoping that, whatever scary thing she was dreaming of, will just disappear, or that at least he will appear there, her knight in shining armor, to rescue her. Instead of calming down, however, small, soft sobs could be heard for just a brief time, before Y/N jolted up with a cry of anguish. Though the room was dark, her trembling outline was shined on by the moonlight. She looked so fragile, so small... So hopeless. 

And then, with desperation, she jumped off and lunged for the bathroom door. Negan could hear the frantic sound of vomiting. Whatever it was she had dreamt of must have caused her great distress. “Doll? May I come in?” he knocked on the half-opened door, but instead of words, he heard a thump, as if she fell to the ground, and more sobs. Though uninvited, Negan opened the door properly, and slowly knelt by her side. “Oh, doll, what the hell did you dream of to make you this afraid?” his voice was uncharacteristically soft and soothing, in a low undertone, to attempt and calm her down. “Talk to me, Y/N.” with careful moves, Negan gathered the woman into his arms and cradled her to his chest, holding her tightly and kissing her hair. “Talk to me.” “I-I... I... I dreamt that y-you... That you left. S-Said that you hate me. C-Can’t... Can’t stand me... Anymore. I-I don’t w-want you to hate me. Or leave me. Please don’t leave me... Not like this... Please don’t leave me like this, Negan.” at once, his body stiffened, and flashes of the painted walls of his house went before his very eyes. Though the connotation was entirely different from what his Lucille meant when she wrote that, those words pained him no less. “I would never leave the person I love so much, Y/N.” he said that to Lucille once, and now, he said it to Y/N. Though the timing couldn’t be any worse, there was no other way he knew how to reassure her - And frankly, he did want to voice his feelings, once and for all, whatever may happen. After all, it wasn’t a lie, he did grow to love Y/N. Though she would never replace Lucille - She didn’t have to. Lucille had her own special spot in his heart, and Y/N has her own. She’s not a replacement, she’s a woman that Negan grew so very fond of. He’s made enough mistakes throughout his life, and he took his wife for granted for far too long a time. He would not make that mistake again. “Do you hear me, Y/N? I won’t leave you. I promise. And even if something happens and we’re separated - Just call out my name, okay? Call out my name, and I’ll be there for you, and I’ll say - Negan’s here! And you’ll flash me that pretty smile of yours, and will run to give me a hug, and say how much you missed me. How’s that sound?” he could feel her sniffling soften out, unlike her fingers, which clutched down even harder on the thin material of his pyjama shirt.  “Y-You... You really love... Someone like me? But I’m pathetic.” her voice was barely above a whisper, yet just enough to convey the brokenness of her heart. “Now, missy, I’ll have you know, I don’t really appreciate people speaking ill of the people I love.” he warned her.  The soft sound of an amused exhale made Negan’s heart make a leap. “You really mean it? You promise you do?” “Trust my words, doll. I never lied to you, and I don’t intend to start now.” carefully laxing his grip on her body, his hands found themselves cupping her face, and wiping away the streaming tears. “I’m not going to leave you alone. I love you, doll.” he leaned down, capturing her lips with his own, in a gentle, loving kiss. Somehow, it felt that, this kiss, the feelings behind it, they all made the dystopian world outside disappear altogether, and normality was back in place. Nothing bad could happen to them - They were protected by a divine aura - or something. “I love you so much, Negan.” she pulled him back into an embrace, and though she didn’t speak loud and clear, as his own declaration, her whispering the confession so dearly into his ear, somehow made it even more intimate.

If only things could remain as innocent and beautiful - It wasn’t possible though. Nobody was safe from the Apocalypse, from the misery and suffering of the world. Less than a month they spent in that house, before a hoard of walkers overrun the area, and Y/N and Negan had to run away, in split directions. They had set a meeting point, back at their spot. Barely a day after being away from each other, Negan returned to the small camp close to the street, and he waited for a whole night also, only to curse loudly and destroy an already broken car with his bat - He had just remembered her shit orientation in space. She could be 10 meters away from this place, and she’d end up going in the opposite direction. Silly girl, how will she survive all by herself out there?! She didn’t even have her cardigan with her, due to the speed with which they had to leave. It was going to get cold soon, and she’ll freeze the night away. How will she survive all alone out there? People and walkers alone were a huge threat, and she behaved like a wounded wild animal. She can’t stay alone. Not her. Not his Y/N. Not his doll. “Y/N!!! DOLL, IT’S NEGAN! COME HERE! NEGAN’S HERE, BABE!!” but no matter how much he tried to call out for her, she just didn’t appear.

Three days passed, and there was no trace of Y/N. Negan was becoming desperate. Y/N must have died by now... Still, if she somehow finds this place, he will leave the zipper hoodie he was wearing underneath his leather jacket. Hopefully, it will be her who finds it, not some other fucker... Or worse, a walker. 

He had to get back out there and live. He promised Lucille, and he promised Y/N too, that no matter what, he will live and carry on, no matter how much it hurt, leaving behind not one, but two women that he grew to love so much. His heart was mended once, only to become ripped and mauled into microscopic pieces once again. Damn it, he shouldn’t have allowed himself to fall in love so easily. Just three months together, and he falls so hard for her... Damn it, doll. Please don’t be dead.

Almost three years passed, and the old Negan was nowhere to be seen - Instead, the boy that was once a highschool bully had returned, and Negan was now the leader of the Saviours, six hundred people, scattered around several outposts. He had lieutenants, he had a right hand, and not enough ‘wives’. On the off-chance that he makes the mistake of accidentally remembering his real past wives, Lucille and Y/N, the idea that some women that are nothing but some pretty faces to warm his bed felt almost uncomfortable. But it was fine. He had no more room for suffering in his body - Killing and fucking was all he had left in this fucked up world. Maybe cursing too - But Y/N always cringed when he’d curse or yell, so he kept himself at bay... For as much as he could.

Now, he didn’t care about anything anymore. Nothing matter, except for his own survival, and the longevity of his group of Saviours. He dominated every community around, and he was the supreme leader, the Caesar at the Colosseum.

For the longest time, there was nobody who dared contest his rule - Almost three whole years, he was the King of the Jungle, overruling even the mighty Lion - Hell, he was above even Zeus himself - And then, those pesky fuckers came over and killed a bunch of his people - Innocent, normal people too, all that while they were asleep. Bullshit. As if he was going to leave that unpunished. Those fuckers were going to pay, tenfold. A hundredfold, at least. Fifty-six of his own people were dead. There will be hell to pay.

That night, Rick’s group was walking through the woods, holding Maggie’s exhausted, sick, and very pregnant body, only to get caught in a trap. From all over the the forest, ominous whistles echoed eerily, creeping them out, alerting them of the enemies they’ve walked into. They had to run the hell away from there before they got caught.

But it was far too late for an escape... They were caught by tens and tens... Or maybe there were a hundred people there, surrounding them? All of them with weapons of all kinds, and even cars. They were forced to give up their weapons, and got to their knees - From other cars, Glenn, Michonne and Daryl, all beaten up, were thrown to the ground also. This ugly guy with a rat instead of a moustache, the one who ordered them around, knocked on the RV and invited someone to come out, as if he was welcoming the Celebrity of the Night, the Guest of Honour, to walk down the red carpet and have his picture taken, in the spotlight.

Negan stepped out - The Man of the Night was ready to instill his revenge on the fuckers who dared cross his path and defy his ultimate authority. To think all of this happened to Rick’s group, because they tried to get to the Hilltop, find a doctor to medicate poor Maggie... Rick looked around, counting the people, only to realise - One of them was missing. Maybe she escaped? Hopefully, she did. At least her - Though, with all of them trapped here, there was little she could do by herself. Or, perhaps she could go and be welcomed, all by herself, to either Alexandria, or the Hilltop. Maybe even the Kingdom? Oceanside? Any community worked.

“Pissed your pants yet?” the man with the bat asked, with a sarcastic, dry chuckle. He meant business. He was a true threat, merely with his presence alone. No doubt, he was the leader of the Survivors, Rick realised quickly. They were screwed. “Boy, do I have a feeling we’re getting close.” he said, finally stepping into the light. He was tall, and well built. Rick knew, even if he were to brawl with him, he’d be at a disadvantage. “Yep.” the man walked across the line the eleven of them made. “Gonna be Pee-Pee-Pants City here real soon.” was he going to bash them all down with that bat of his? “Which one of you pricks is the leader?” he asked.  Simon immediately pointed his nasty, crooked finger at the ex-policeman. “It’s that guy. He’s the one.”  “Hi.” Negan looked down at Rick, lazily stepping in front of him. “You’re Rick, right?” rhetorical, as always. “I’m Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people, for killing my people - You killed MORE of my people! NOT cool! Nooot cool! You have no idea how NOT cool that shit is. But! I think you’re gonna be up to speed shortly.” Rick gulped in fear, looking up at the enemy. “Yeah. You’re SO gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes.” he grinned. “Yes, you are~♪.” he said, in a singy voice. “You see, Rick - Whatever you do, no matter what - You don’t mess with the new world order. New world order is this, and it’s really, very simple - So, even if you’re stupid, which you very may well be, you can understand it. You ready? Here it goes, pay attention.” Negan lowered his bat, pointing the end of it to his face, raising it slightly. “Give me your shit, or I will kill you.” he removed the bat, and smiled. “Today was Career Day. We invested a lot, so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me - That’s your job.” Rick couldn’t help but look up, frightened, not for his life, but everyone else’s - Especially Carl’s. “Now, I know there is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow... But swallow it, you most certainly will. You ruled the roost. you built something. You thought you were safe - I get it - But, the word is out. You... Are NOT safe. Not even close. In fact - You are pegged. More pegged, if you don’t do what I want, and what I want is half your shit. And if that’s too much, you can make, find or steal more, and it’ll even out, sooner or later. “ this fucking bastard spoke too much, for what he was worth. “This - Is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, if someone knocks on your door, you let us in.” he chuckled. “We OWN that door.” he stated. “You try to stop us, and we will knock it down. You understand?” nobody dared utter even a shaky breath. “What? No answer?” Negan comically approached Rick, his hand to his ear. “You don’t really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished now, did you?” all at once, everyone’s hearts stopped beating. “I don’t want to kill you, people - Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You CAN’T do that if you’re dead, now, can you?” surely, it can’t be that simple, can it? “I’m not growing a garden... But! You KILLED my people. A whole damn lot of them - More than I’m comfortable with! And for that, you’re gonna pay... So now... I’m gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you.” the resolution had finally come to light. “This - Is Lucille. And SHE is AWESOME.” Negan showed off his bat. “All~ this. ALL this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honour.”

Negan walked from one light to the other, visualising the victims. One of the women was close to crying, and her health looked to be in poor condition. She couldn’t even stay still, kneeling on the ground. The other, a military man, looked up at him with tough, defiant eyes. Intriguing. Then, came a boy with a cowboy had and a bandage over one side of his face. He crouched in front of him, and though the kid tried to stay cool, the fear was obvious on his face. When he went back to look at the crying woman, the Asian had an emotional outburst - It was hilariously pathetic - But he was benevolent! Negan was going to let that one slide, for free! And he had even more fun, pointing his bat back at the kid, once he realised that was Rick’s kid, of all things!

“JUST STOP IT!” Rick growled pitifully.  “HEY! Do NOT make me kill the little, future serial killer. Don’t make it easy on me! I got to pick SOMEBODY! Everybody’s at the table, waiting for me to order.” he started whistling, going back and forth, looking at the people. “I simply cannot decide!” he chuckled. “But I got an idea!” and he started pointing his bat at each and every one of those people. “Eenie- Meenie, Miney, Mo” he’d linger just enough to make everyone have small heart attacks. Seeing them crying, shivering, trembling, desperate, hopeless or even hopeful that they may escape the attack, that another will take the death for them. Something, anything.

People were SO tragic.

“Anybody moves, cut the boy’s other eye out and feed it to his father, and then we’ll start.” Negan ordered, finally picking his unfortunate target. “You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry - Hell, you’re ALL gonna be doing that.” everyone shrieked in horror, watching the victim take the first hit to the head, with all of the enemy’s might. “Oh, ho, wowieee, look at ya, taking it like a champ!” One more, and another, and many, many more, until Abraham’s head was nothing but perfectly minced mush. Everyone was in complete disbelief at the terror they’d just witnessed - It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. It didn’t make sense. Abraham - Dead? No way. Negan stopped destroying the already dead remains that became nothing but a stain of blood on the pebbled ground, and went around, taunting everyone with his bloody bat. Surely, there remained some hanging scraps of Abraham, still dangling from the barbed wire. The last bit of their friend, and it was on the monster’s weapon, no less. “LOOK AT IT!” Negan laughed, watching with sadistic pleasure as Rosita was trembling and sobbing violently - only to stumble backwards, punched in the face by the redneck who was once wrapped in a blanket. He watched as Daryl was being wrestled down by his own people, like an angry, raging bull, and he crouched down, grabbing a fistful of the idiot’s hair. It was the time for another divine punishment. He warned them once - He did, he was nice! He even gave them a freebie! But not anymore. No exceptions. Because of Dixon’s angry outburst, they were, once again, in the free line of fire.

Before he could get a good look at those pathetic fuckers kneeling before him, and choosing another victim, a shrill shriek, feminine, resounded desperately somewhere through the forest. Rick stiffened. Damn it, why now, of all times? Couldn’t she choose a better time to find their location? What’s the use of being directionally impaired, if you’re gonna find the group at the worst possible time ever?

“What was that?” Negan asked, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. “Another... Friend of yours? Did we miss one?” he chuckled, crouching down by Rick’s side - The Policeman was speechless. Though he remained silent, the sound of echoing bullets was getting closer to their location, and rapid footsteps were getting right in the enemy’s trap, like a butterfly caught in the spider’s web. “That was a woman, alright. I know a woman screaming when I hear one.” Negan pointed out. “She pretty?” he smirked. “She your girlfriend, maybe? Is that why you’re quiet?”

As he signaled for Dwight and another one of his bigass brutes to get in position and grab the surprise guest, he heard the rapid breathing - She must have been running for a while now. “Rick!! Hoard -- Hoard coming! They’re coming, Rick!” a hoard, coming over? Good information. Perhaps he might just spare this one, for the sake of her own stupidity. She came over willingly, after all.  “RUN, IT’S A TRAP!” Rick yelled back at her, but it was far to late - The hulking man grabbed her, earning a squeak of surprise - She was held up in the air, only to be forcefully thrown to the ground. “NEGAN!” her soft voice sounded raw as she called out that name, as though she was expecting some kind of God to come over and magically save her. Negan, she said. How did she know that name? 

The party watched their friend’s body roll to the ground, still for a few second, only to unexpectedly jump, and with a masterfully planned trip, she brought down the big guy, and when faced with Dwight’s crossbow, she had her hands up in a sign she gave up, only for them to realise that she had waited for the big guy to get up and rush to her, so that she could swiftly side-stepped the crossbow, get behind Dwight and force him to shoot his ally’s shoulder, while she put a knife to his neck, using him as the perfect human shield.

Negan’s eyes widened in shock and delight, and he whistled, impressed by the woman’s feat. He even applauded. “Well, I’ll be damned! What a masterful performance! I’m impressed - Really, I am! A woman, taking down two of my men like that, with nothing but her bare arms? Ha! I want you for a bodyguard, ma’am! In fact - You remind me of someone very dear to me, y’know? She could pull badass stunts like that.” he then turned to Rick. “Where’d you find such a fine woman, Rick? Were you the one who taught her to say my name like that~?” “Rick... Wh-What’s going on?” unlike the strength and prowess she displayed, her voice was unexpectedly quivering and broken... And awfully familiar. “I’ll tell you what happened, doll - If you let me get a good look at your pretty face. I mean - Not that I can really see you, you know, but I’ve just got this feeling that you’re a real doll, but that messy, big ass hair of yours is getting in the way of my admiring.” Negan chuckled, swinging Lucille around in circle-motions, only to hear the woman gasp, and the knife fell out of her hand. Negan stopped in his tracks, confused by her sudden moment of weakness - Not only that, she even allowed Dwight to get out of her grasp. “Lucille...? Negan...?” the woman spoke out those names, and Negan froze, his mouth slightly agape - Now it all made sense. That large, dirty blue hoodie she was wearing, the one that almost completely swallowed her whole - It was the hoodie that he left for her, years ago. “Y/N...? Now way!” slowly, the woman lifted the hair to reveal her face - It wasn’t as dirty as the first time he met her, but she was just as exhausted, and even more scared, if it was possible. “That’s right - Negan’s here, doll!” he let his bloody weapon hit the ground, extending his arms, and at once, Y/N ran to him, throwing herself into his embrace. “I thought you were dead - This can’t be... Are you, really?! You’re alive?! I’m not dead, am I? Or dreaming?” with a kiss, he shushed her down. “Did that feel real to you, hun?” her blush was still as adorable as always. No doubt, even after so long, she hadn’t gotten over that extreme embarrassment of hers. No matter, it was all fine. She was back. Y/N was really back. “Y-Yeah... B-But, Negan - What’s going on? I-I don’t understand what’s going on.” with one hand, he wiped away the stray tears falling down her pretty face, only to turn her around and hug her from behind, making her see the group. “Were you with them, Y/N?” he rested his chin on her head, and he felt the small motions of a nod. “Y-Yeah. A few weeks after we lost each other, I... I found Rick’s group, and they were nice enough to take me in. Been staying with them ever since.” she explained, confused as why was everyone in such despair. Then, she saw the large splatter of blood, and the familiar, ravished clothes laying there. “N-Negan... Wh-What’s that...?” “That, my dear, used to be one of your group. Too bad - He was a real man, that one. Muscles and all. Took a real one for the team. Or maybe six. Or seven. Or more. I lost count after a while.” he felt her body stiffen up. “Don’t be too upset, now, Y/N - You were the one who taught me how to kill people, weren’t you? Three years ago, when all shit hit the fan? Remember that night, with those guys attacking us? You said - Killing people is fine, as long as you’re defending yourself. And I did just that!” he placed a kiss on her temple. “You see - Rick’s group here - I mean, you might know about it already - But, Rick’s group killed not one, not two, not three - But fifty-six people. MY people. So - Of course, I took that as an act of war, and instilled my revenge. But you know me, Y/N, I’m a merciful man. I only took the life of one of them.” “B-But... There must be a mistake! Everyone - Everyone here... They’re good people! It must be a misunderstanding! Please, let’s not fight each other anymore!” she tried to beg him, only to feel everyone’s eyes fixated on her. “Rick’s people killed my people, doll. And I sent a few others to kill them - But Rick’s group killed them too, and a bunch more! I can’t let that slide unpunished. But it’s fine, really, it is. I want them to work for me now, and they can’t work if they’re dead, right?” Negan explained, chuckling darkly in her ear. “...No way...” she gasped in disbelief. “That means - You’re with the Saviours?” “No, doll, I’m not WITH the Saviours. I am their leader. Of all six hundred of them. More or less. I lost count, and so did Simon. They keep dying, or appearing, now, more than anything, thanks to Rick’s decision of decimating my men.” Negan shot the policeman a triumphant smirk. “...I’ve missed a lot in three years, haven’t I?” she frowned, crestfallen at the realisation. Negan couldn’t help but grin wider, twirling her around, this time, to look at him. He was the supreme leader now, and he was proudly and efficiently responsible for hundreds of lives. He wasn’t that deadbeat fuck anymore. He needn’t protection anymore. He was Negan, and he was out for blood. This was the real Negan. “S-So... You’ve killed Abraham. You said just one of them had to die. Now, what?” “Were you playing us all along?” the unexpected rough voice of Daryl Dixon made Y/N’s head snap at him, her expression was shocked, Negan realised. “Wh-What?! How can you say that - Of course not! I thought he was dead! I have been loyal to the group all this time, I-I’ve gone through all that with you - How can you accuse me of something so awful?!” she was pissed. “Cozying up to the guy who just made porridge out of our friend - And you call yourself loyal to the group?” he sneered at her. “And what would you have me do?! I don’t know what happened - I don’t even know what you guys did, I don’t really know anything, do I?” she refuted immediately. “Abraham’s death is on you, Y/N.” without any warning, the redneck jolted up and grabbed ahold of her hoodie - He tried to attack her, in an impulsive act of revenge, but Negan punched him down easily, while his other lackeys wrestled him down to the ground. “Wait, hooold the fuck up a second - Doesn’t this situation look... Familiar? Hey, Rick, is that what they call a Deja-vu? Well! Excuse the fuck out of my French, but this is sooo fucked up from y’all. You see - I was willing to let even that second outburst slide - After all, Rick, you DID care for my sweet, precious Y/N when I couldn’t, y’know? She means the world to me. I was willing to call that one a mistake too. Buuut ~ ♪! Unfortunately, third time’s the charm. I can’t allow anyone to harm my sweet Y/N. So~ ♪ Y/N, look away and cover your ears. I don’t want you to see more of this.” he gently moved her away. “Back to it.” without any warning or moment of preparation, Negan smashed Glenn’s head. Negan stole a look back at Y/N, and he noticed her whimpering. He felt bad, having to make her be a witness to all this - Alas, nothing could be done, and he completely destroyed the Asian’s head, letting out all the rage, frustration and any existent negative emotions that were bubbling in his heart. “Let’s go home, doll. You must want to take a loooong, warm bath and change into some fresh clothes. Get some good damn food, drink something. Just like old times.” Negan slung his arm around her shoulders, bringing her towards the RV, motioning for Simon to take over and leave those guys be, but neither could ignore the cries and sobs, nor the accusations of betrayal shot her way. Negan just brought her closer to his side and helped her up in the car.

Y/N barely had any power to speak - Instead, she just cuddled into Negan’s side, trying to wipe away the images of blood and gore that her old friends had become... All by the hand of the man she loved so much.

As promised, Negan had someone draw her a nice bath and got her a comfy set of clothes. By the time she was done, she threw herself on the bed, and Negan came over with a tray full of nicely cooked food for her. “You spoil me.” she chuckled breathlessly. “Only the best for my princess.” he gave her a side-smile, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching her eat. “Your hair’s still as much of a mess as before.” Y/N stopped eating. She felt guilty, for some reason. “Forgive me. I lost the tie you gave me.” she muttered. “I... Had a close call once. This guy, he... He grabbed me by the hair. Tried to, well... It doesn’t matter. But I cut my hair with my knife to escape, then killed him too. My hair was... So short and uneven. It was weird. I tried looking for it again, but it was lost in the swamp, so... Yeah. Sorry.” she explained, placing the food back on the tray. “N’aww, s’all cool, doll, don’t worry so much. It was just some hair tie I had around randomly.” he waved his hand at her dismissively. “It was the only thing you had left of your wife.” she muttered. “I know. It wasn’t difficult to figure out. So... Yeah. Sorry, again.” she gulped. “As smart as always.” Negan smirked. “God, I missed you.” he chuckled, still in disbelief that she’s alive. “What’s been going on - Since we parted, I mean.” he looked down for a little, before looking back at her. “Were you alone for long?” She hesitated. “I... Found my way to our spot. After a week. Pathetic, I know. I knew you waited for me... Thanks for the hoodie, by the way. It was very useful, especially during the winter.” she smiled weakly. “So... I went on the road. Two weeks... Or maybe more? I don’t know - But I found Rick and his group. They had just escaped a huge hoard of walkers from the farm they were living at. Many months, we were just on the road. It was... It was awful.” she muttered. “We found a prison. Made a few inmate friends. But it was awful... Not living there, no - Living there was really good actually. It’s just... So many bad guys terrorized us.” she shuddered. “The guy you killed... Glenn... His wife... She used to have two little sisters. Sweet little girls, innocent and giggly.” the woman bit her lip hard. “There was this old guy, a prisoner. He was creepy... Gave me bad vibes, but the women didn’t believe me. Said he was always helpful to them. He... He killed them. He- He decapitated the little girls, Negan! He was crazy!” she said, before she properly removed the hair from her face, showing a nasty scar around her neck. “Almost got me too. Nasty old man. Rick broke his hand, beating him almost to death. Maggie killed him as revenge, in the end.” she shuddered. “It never healed. Ugly scar will never leave.” she muttered pitifully. “Ugly scar, you say? What’s that nonsense.” Negan scoffed. “You’re as beautiful as I remember. You survived. You’re back here, with me. That’s all that matters.” he scolded her, before he pushed the tray a little to the side, getting a better seat on the bed and patting his lap. The way her cheeks flushed was so endearing and adorable, he couldn’t resist. “Come on, doll, don’t be shy. I want to get a better look at my beautiful girl.” reticent and timid, Y/N crawled on his lap, as his arms pulled her against his chest, a kiss on her forehead. “Go on. Negan’s here, no need to be afraid anymore.” he said, his kiss trailing down to her neck, going all the way across the white line that marked her skin. He could feel the soft vibrations of her giggle, as his stubble dragging along the thin, sensitive skin of her neck got tickled involuntarily. It only made Negan grip her body, as he playfully teased her more, just to hear those sweet sounds of hers. He hated hearing her cry all the time. He wanted to only ever see her smile and hear that lovely laugh of hers. “...I called out your name, you know.” through her giggles, the little statement felt so nostalgic and melancholic, that it made Negan stop and slowly retract, to get a better look at her. His heart sunk a little - He had promised to keep her safe so many times... He promised he’d be there whenever she’d call out for him. In that aspect, he failed her. Again. “Every time I was in danger, I called out for you. You never came... I’m not blaming you! I just... I don’t know why I did that. Maybe I just... I just hoped that... Maybe, somehow... You would come out of nowhere.” she admitted - Negan couldn’t help but smile at her - Damn, was she good. “Just like today, huh?” he couldn’t help but feel so smug - Even after three years, the instinct of calling out to him for protection, despite it being her, the protector, most of the time - It was the most endearing thing that Negan’s heard in his entire life. “That was really embarrassing, y’know?” she mumbled, looking away. “But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done. After all... After three years of calling out for you... You’re finally here. You’re not dead. I can’t believe you’re not dead. I-I... I don’t really know how to... I don’t know how to express properly what I’m feeling. I’m tragic at everything that doesn’t involve my body outright threatening to self-implode from fear - It’s always been this way. So... Even if it’s embarrassing as hell... I just want you to know that, you being alive... It’s the happiest I’ve ever been.” Negan couldn’t contain the ever growing grin on his face - Hell, he even had to shift his gaze away from that innocent, adorable face of hers, all bashful and shit - He dragged his hand down his face, ruffled away at his beard, all to stop the childish giddiness he was feeling. He couldn’t. “It’s been three years. It’s insane how much different our lives have been. You’ve been thriving and adapting so, so very well. You created a community... A whole community, and you’re their leader! Hundreds of them! You’ve become so strong and confident, and everyone’s relying on you. You’re so cool, you know? I wish I was there to see all this.” she sighed lowly. “Instead... I was on the run for months, and when we finally found a nice place to settle at the prison, I almost get killed a few times. A few of us got kidnapped too, by the psycho leader of another community - Called himself the Governor. He cut off Rick’s hand. He... He tortured and raped Michonne for days. I and Glenn were locked away in the room nearby, to hear everything. I don’t even want to imagine what he’d have done to me, if Michonne hadn’t pissed him off by biting his ear off.” she shuddered. “Bunch of us died because of him. A few of us almost died from a bad flu. It was awful. I think I was delirious for a few days too. Then, we get caught by a group of cannibals, of all things. More of us died again.” her eyes were gleaming with forming tears. “All of this... All of this... Three years... All by their side... And I get called a - A traitor. Why? I don’t get it. Am I really that bad? But even if I am - What have I done? Is it because I knew you, at the very beginning of the Apocalypse? Is that all? That sounds like a kinder garden reason, doesn’t it? But maybe it’s not me who’s wrong. Maybe it’s them. I can’t be a bad person for knowing you, can I? I can’t help loving you. It just happened.” Negan kissed her to shut up. “It’s been three god damn long, fucking years, doll. The man I was, and the man I am now - We’re different. Whatever those fuckers accuse you of, doesn’t matter. In the end, Negan’s here for you doll, a’ight? I’ve gotcha.” he kissed her again. “Besides - I  was supposed to be the one who talks too much, wasn’t I? When you speak so much, you’re usually afraid or overthinking or some stupid shit like that. That won’t do anymore, doll! No more silly thoughts around me! My pretty girl won’t be upset anymore. She’ll be safe here, among friends. I’ll make sure of that.” Y/N gave him an amused smirk. “Will your wives also take care of me? I should let you know, I got proposed to, in the prison. Twice. Both times, by women. One of them, in fact, wanted to marry me AND Rick and his wife. But you never did ask me out, did you?” her cheeky grin made him laugh, only to shove his hand in the pocket of his pants, but his fist was closed, as he looked at it with a leisure, dazzling grin.  “Well, love, ‘bout damn fucking time I change that, don’t you think?” opening his fist, he revealed a pretty ring. Nothing too flashy, but it sported her favourite colour scheme. “Used to be, you wore lots of pretty jewellery. Looked damn fine on you. Whatever fucker dared take them away from you, better wish he died, otherwise, I’ll fucking bash his head against the wall - But that only means I get to bring more gifts for my lovely girl.” Negan looked at her flabbergast expression - What begun as a joke, turned into an actual proposal, and it was such a hearfelt and very Negan-style one. He couldn’t help but feel his heart beat faster, watching the blush deepen on her face, and the way her beautiful eyes darted around, as if her brain had shortcircuited trying to come up with a proper response for it. With no better answer, she said just a single word. “Yes.” “Now that’s what I love to hear!” he laughed mirthfully, gingerly picking her hand and slipping the ring down her finger, only to place a small kiss on the back of her hand, and on the inside of her wrist. “If I’d known you were alive, they wouldn’t have existed. I gave them the option, to live a good life by my side, or work their place here, like the rest of the people. Can’t imagine any of those would rather give up their luxuries, even if that meant leaving their partners, y’know.” he let out a disapproving tut noise. “But you, Y/N. You’ll always be my lovely Y/N.” he said, pulling her flush against his chest. “Fuck those guys - They can’t appreciate you as you deserve. And fuck the world too - Fuck everyone else even. I’ll make sure you don’t have too see any of those dead fucks again, and like hell will I allow any threat to get anywhere close to you.” he declared boldly. “It’s been us, against everything, from the very beginning, and that’s how I intend to continue it, until this fucking mess finally ends.” “And if it doesn’t?” she asked timidly. “Well, love, I’d say I’ve still a good couple of years ahead of me to enjoy, with you by my side. What do you say? We’re not getting old, are we?” he chuckled, mimicking the forming grin on her face. She felt light, and happy - She was brightening up the whole room, and Negan’s heart, along with it. “Sounds about right to me.”

As the Sun was setting, and the Moon was out once more, Negan brought his dear wife up, and led her to the living room, lit up by candles. A radio was there, and he put a cassette on ; A bitter-sweet love song played. It was ‘When the Wild Wind Blows’ by Iron Maiden, the tale of a husband and wife who form a suicide pact, as they watch the end of the world sweep on them, from their fallout shelter. Unexpectedly fitting for their situation, but beautifully tragic, no less. The two held each other, as they swung and danced the night away, with Negan softly singing the lyrics, in that soothing, velvety voice of his, that never failed to lit afire every nerve in her body.

Negan held Y/N in his arms, her head against his chest - Surely, she could feel the way his heart beat to the rhythm of her own drum, but it was fine. He loved Y/N. It was perfectly fine.

For a few seconds, in his euphoric daze, an apparition flashed before his very eyes, freezing him on the spot - It was Lucille, and she was smiling at him, just like the good, old times. She offered him a nod, and then she disappeared.  Was this her way of forgiving him for all his wrong-doing? Was this her way of giving him the blessing of actually moving on, and truly falling in love with a new wife?  Was she going to erase all the nightmares that he had been plagued with?

Negan looked down at the beloved woman looking so comfortable in his arms, and he kissed her hair. “I love you, Y/N.” and finally, Negan didn’t feel guilty for having feelings for another woman anymore. “I love you.”

[fregisabunnyboo]

💜𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭💜

Yo, so uh, this has some kinky shiz in it, beware

——————✧◦♡◦��——————

type: ✮just for funzies✮ genre: ✮smut✮ fandom: ✮ROTTMNT✮ character(s): ✮Runa O’Crest, Donatello Hamato, Raphael Hamto, Lenardo Hamato, Michangelo Hamato, April O’Neil✮ crossovers?: ✮none✮ tags: none! Just for fun!

TW// !!this is smut if you are comfortable with this, please leave!!

Summary: Donatello leaves during family movie night to take care of some “personal issues,” and gets busted.

——————✧◦♡◦✧——————

They had been planning this for weeks, literal weeks. The Jupiter Jim Movie marathon was about to begin. And Donatello was dreading it.

“Why so glum, hombre?” Leo said, wrapping an arm around his brother’s neck, stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

Donnie scowled at the talking with food in his mouth, “I’m not ‘glum,’ I’m simply tired.” He tried to play cool, knowing if he slipped up, this could be the end of him. 

“Don, you say that every time we have a family thing,” Leo frowned, pulling away. “Do you just not want to spend time with your family?”

Donnie quickly retracted his words, “No! No! It’s just-... Never mind. I’ll go help Mikey with the soda.” Donnie resisted the urge to spill everything right there onto Leo’s face, but he didn’t. He knew he could trust Leo, but Donnie also knew, no, he couldn’t trust Leo.

“Michael, I'm here to help.” Donnie announced, walking into the kitchen.

“Great! Could you hand me the thingy?” Mikey gestured to the soda flavoring on the counter. Donnie handed it to him and rested on the counter, his shell leaning on the rounded edge of the island.

Donnie was caught up in thought.

It’s about time he admitted something; he really liked Runa. A lot more than just a friend. A lot more than a girlfriend. He didn’t know what it was, but he absolutely loved every aspect of her. Runa’s hair, her eyes, the way she could get so heated over a video game. 

He smiled at the memory of Runa throwing down the controller and yelling, demanding a rematch and accusing Donnie of cheating.

He’d felt this way before, but never like this. His heart was constantly being torn every witch way and he hated it so much! Runa was not easy on his feelings, she always flirted with him and made him think she felt the same. Then, she’d turn around and express interest in other people. To say he was jealous was an understatement.

“Donnie?”

Donnie was great, but he couldn’t deny she deserved better than him. I mean, he’s getting jealous and they aren’t even dating!

“Donnie?”

What was he supposed to do? Admit his feelings and live forever in the friend-zone? Or keep a secret and carry this hate to everyone she dated?

“EARTH TO DONNIE, THE GIRLS ARE HERE.” Mikey cupped his hands and shouted into his ear.

“AH!” Donnie said, covering the side of his head where Mikey had shouted, “Okay, okay. I’ll grab the popcorn seasoning. Tell them I say ‘hi’ or whatever.”

Mikey looked at him, he’s been acting weird and now he wouldn’t even look at April or Runa? Orange frowned and swallowed the urge to ask about it, knowing he’ll never get an answer.

“Okay, I’ll be…sure to tell them.” Mikey said, debating on saying more.

By then, Donnie had already disappeared into the pantry. The girls walked into the Lair, holding extra pillows and blankets to make a fort.

“Hey, y’all!” April shouted happily behind the mountain of pillows, walking into the Lair. “We brought extra!”

Runa was holding the blankets, all neatly folded and stacked. She carried them in one hand, blanching them perfectly.

“And Runa brought the blankets for the walls of the fort,” April pointed out as they both walked over to the couch and started constructing the fort.

Raph started to help build the fort, making sure it was sturdy on each side. Leo helped set up the inside, making sure it was comfortable and big enough for everyone.

---💖---

After the movie got started, everyone got comfortable in their respective spots; April and Leo, accompanied by Mikey, under the tent, Raph sitting on the floor crisscrossed, with Runa and Donnie sitting on the couch a few feet apart.

He stole a few glaces to Runa, making him look back at his popcorn in shame.

Everything was going well, popcorn was warm, drinks were cool, jokes being made. So what was this uneasy feeling pulling at him? It just felt like everything was bothering him. It wasn’t a bad bother, just a uncomfortable one.

Donnie needed to leave, “I’m-I’m gonna go guys.” He chocked out hesitantly, smiling nervously.

“Alright, see ya,” was the general response. Except for Runa, “Where’re you going, Donnie?”

“Ah- You know, I just need a little break.” He lied.

“Oh, okay. See you in a few then.” Runa said, setting down her popcorn.

“SHUUUUSHHHH.” Leo said obnoxiously. Donnie rolled his eyes.

The purple turtle krept down the hallway and into his bed room, making sure to shut the door behind him. He went over the the small bed-side table and pulled out one of the drawers. He scooted some clothes to the side to reveal underwear.

Woman’s underwear.

He pulled them up by the lace hem and looked at them with a tired and slightly uneasy face. Donnie started to get undressed, taking off his large shirt first, then his pants.

Now he knew what the uncomfortable was. His dick, making a ruckus. The organ stood up tall, ready to be pleased. Sometimes, it had a mind of it’s own. Now, Donnie could feel the dusting of blush around his cheeks and nose, making a line across his features.

He pulled the undergarments to his snout, sniffing them. His thing twitched, awaiting the soon forceful hand that would stroke it to completion.

Donnie hated having to please himself like this. He knew it was wrong, gross, kinky and downright perverted; but he didn’t care anymore. It tasted so good.

Ever since he got a hold of her underwear, it’s been the only thing that could calm him down.

Runa had been the core problem, and now he was dealing with the after affects.

Why couldn’t she have just stayed all prissy? Why couldn’t they just go back to hating each other? Why’d she have to make him fantasize about her like this?

Almost all of the scent from the undies where gone, he could only really smell his breath. Donnie started to suckle on them after the pure stench alone stopped doing it for him. Damn, she tasted good.

Only to be actually tasting her, his tongue lapping up all the juices that flowed out of her, like water on a hot day. To hear her pant, and moan his name. To imagine her tied up and oh, so helpless.

To feel her tight pussy over his cock, creaming because she couldn’t handle him. To hear her scream to slow down.

The hand around his dick tightened, trying to get him to his climax as quickly as possible.

The things he wanted to do to her. Of course, he would never hurt her! Just tie her up and make her beg for him.

Donnie hadn’t even noticed himself growing louder, his once quite huffs now grew to loud groans as he flung his head back in pleasure, the image of Runa’s face flashed in his mind. He was so close! Damn, why did he have be able to go so long?

---💖---

“What’s taking Donnie so long?” Runa whispered out loud to herself.

“If you wanna see him so bad, just go check up on him.” Leo said with a sarcastic flaunt in his voice.

“Fine,” Runa huffed, getting up, “I will!”

Runa crept carefully down the halls, making it to Donnie’s room; soft moans and breathy groans were emanating from his room, bouncing off the walls and into her ears.

Runa blushed at the naughty thought that entered her head, shaking away the idea, she approached the door.

He’s probably working out, she thought, her face still red with embarrassment. She knocked on the door lightly, opening it slightly to peak in.

“Donnie?” She asked, opening the door slowly, only giving Donnie enough time to attempt to cover himself, underwear still on snout and a bewildered look on his face.

“What are you-...Oh, oh my...” was the only shocked expression Runa could muster out, gazing at his redden face, his exposed and twitching member, and her underwear and his snout!

“It-It’s not what it looks like!” He said quickly, trying to push his peaking dick back down, only to make it jump back up.

Runa could only stare at it, his thighs, covered in sweat and pre-cum. Her eyes made their way back up to his face.

“Then, what is it?” She asked, her personality snapping back into action.

Donnie was at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say? “Oh, yeah, I’ve actually been getting off to your underwear for the past few months”?

“I-.. Uh-...” He looked down at the floor, too embarrassed to say anything.

“Are those mine?” She hissed, surprisingly no disgust in her voice.

“Uh...” Donnie couldn’t lie, “Y-Yes...”

“And where you... eating them?”

“No, I was, uh, sucking on them...” That answer wasn’t any better.

“Give them back, I-I don’t want to give you access to these anymore.” Runa held out her hand expectantly, looking away. She stole glaces at Donnie as he slowly pulled himself away from the edge of his bed, taking the underwear out of his mouth and placed it in her hand.

The swift movement made only more awkward as their hands touch, making Donnie wince and Runa’s face heat more.

Donnie didn’t know if he should sit back down and continue or just stand there until she left.

“Runa...” Donnie started, holding his arm and looking down shamefully, “I-I don’t know what came over me. I just-... I didn’t mean to go that far.”

“What? Is that how you apologize for using my underwear as a cum rag?” Runa fumed, keeping it quite.

“Yes?” Donnie smiled nervously, “And I wasn’t using it as a cum rag, that’s disgraceful to someone so beautiful.”

The words struck her, a pang in her heart, the thought to do something impulsive. It all came too fast. Beautiful? Was he joking?

After a moment of processing, and reflecting, she finally opened her mouth.

“Are you serious?” She asked, genuinely intrigued now, “You think I’m beautiful?”

“M-More then beautiful,” Donnie hesitated, “I don’t know how to describe you, you’re so amazing.”

Runa blushed, out of all the times he choose to flirt...

Then, Runa got an idea. 

She stuffed the wet underwear into her back pocket and slowly started to descend to her knees, resting on them in front of Donnie.

“What are you doing?” He said quickly, following her with his eyes.

“Giving you want you want,” She purred, “May I?”

Donnie’s eyes widened before vigorously nodding, “Mhmm! Go ahead!”

“Don’t act so excited for me.” She smirked.

Donnie’s slightly annoyed expression came back to his features, “Just suck it.”

Runa hummed as she slid her hands to Donnie’s thighs, placing them firmly on his sides and squeezing, making his dick throb.

Runa licked the top of her mouth, trying to get the most saliva on her tongue as she could. She opened her mouth wide, letting Donnie see all the goodness he was about to feel. 

She slowly slide her mouth over the thick member, feeling every bit of it with her tongue. It was smooth and hot, being more thick on the tip then the base. The deep purple melded perfectly with the pastel pink of her tongue, making Donnie groan slightly.

Donnie looked at her at with the most fucked-up face she’d ever seen, he looked totally wasted. He was panting, beads of sweat forming on his face. Runa was getting him riled up, and she knew it. Runa started to moan, making Donnie wince and heave. 

Then, without warning, Donnie grabbed the back of Runa’s head and shoved it forward, making her gag. After she adjusted, he started continue to shove her face into his dick, making muffled moans. The slopping of the two organs together sounded like music to Donnie’s ears.

After a few minutes of face-fucking, he felt close, “Mmm, just a few more.. A-And I’ll be good, baby.” He panted.

Runa looked up, face full of saliva and pre-cum, “Mmm,” she said, Donnie’s hard cock still in her mouth. Suddenly, she took him all back in, sucking hard then dragging her teeth along the length of his cock.

Donnie didn’t even care about volume anymore; he moaned out loudly as he came, letting it get caught in her mouth as she swallowed some, letting the rest paint her face in a wondrous white.

Donnie bent down, grabbing the side of her mouth and spreading it open to see his seed sitting in her mouth. He moved his thumb from her mouth to her check, giving her a heated kiss, pulling away and leaving a string of cum and spit.

Runa laughed, her eyelids felt heavy and she felt tipsy, but still fully sober. She didn’t know how to describe it, but it was so intoxicating.

“Hmm,” Donnie hummed, sitting on the side of his bed, “I still seem to be aroused, despite cumming, heh, quite a lot.”

“Mmm, maybe you need more then just oral,” Runa smiled lazily, picking herself up and started to strip of her sweat pants. Donnie stared as she removed the pants. He could feel himself starting to get hard again.

As soon as she started to waddle over, Donnie felt his heart explode. He couldn’t take it, this was it, he finally getting what he wanted. Once she started to get comfortable sitting on his lap, and started rubbing his thighs, he stopped her.

“Runa,” He breathed, “Once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop, dear. I don’t want to hurt you. Soft shell turtles are naturally... more aggressive.”

Runa licked her lips, “Good, this’ll be more fun.”

Runa positioned herself on Donnie’s lap, grinding on his exposed dick with her covered pussy, making Donnie’s face go to that of uncomfortable. He grabbed Runa by the hips and flipped her over, now standing between her open legs.

Donnie looked at helpless she’d become. He chuckled deviously, “I’m gonna make you regret asking me to be rough.”

Runa saw the animistic lust in his eyes, knowing there’s no humanity left. Her face burst into flames, her tail flicking back and forth. She bit her lips as Donnie put a hand on her back and guided her up softly, making her sit on the edge of the bed. 

Donnie went and grabbed his battle shell, smirking, he looked back at her in her underwear and shirt. He pulled out what seemed to be a video recorder, and some kind of rope?

Runa’s stomach got heavy butterflies.

He set up the camera and stood behind it, pointing it at Runa.

“Okay, strip.” He commanded, licking his teeth behind the camera.

“Wha-?” Runa blushed, you could probably see all her freckles inder the thin layer or fur on her face.

“You heard me,” He huffed, slightly upset at the repetitive command, “Strip.”

She started to slowly take of her shirt, making sure get his attention with a sway of her hips. After the shirt was off, she reached for her bra, giggling her breasts. She moaned his name slightly, trying to keep herself quite in case he didn’t want her to say anything.

“Say it again.” He demanded.

Runa started to play with her breasts now, moaning his name with every touch. Donnie looked down at his dick, now wet with pre-cum again. He huffed and commanded her to get on all fours.

“Now take them off.”

Runa slowly slid down her panties, purple and laced, teasing. After they were off, she waved her hips back and forth, moaning. Donnie stopped the camera and grabbed the rope. It was a soft velvet, so it wouldn’t hurt her.

Donnie helped Runa back up, taking the time to admire her dripping pussy. He flipped her over onto some pillows, making sure she was comfortable before tying her up with the velvet rope.

Runa laughed a bit, “Damn, you really know what you want, darling.”

“Yeah, I want you begging for my cock.” He said smugly, stroking his member, getting the pre-cum under his tip and around the largest areas, making it slick. Runa squirmed at the sight, making her eyes well up with tears as she pleaded with Donnie.

“Please, Don,” She begged, “If you’re going to fuck me, ju-just do it already! I can’t watch you, please, I need you inside me, ah~!”

“Hush now, dear.” He quieted her with a small handkerchief, embroidered with his initials, “You have to watch first, make sure you can take all of me.”

“Donnie, ugh!” Runa struggled against the velvet, “I’m a rabbit! I’m built to be bread!” She cried.

Donnie chuckled, stroking his dick again, “If you say so, but if I rip your uterus in half, just say I warned you.”

“Ah~! Don’t say things like that!” Runa’s face got more red, he cupped it, now leaning over her and positioning himself near her entrance. He leaned down and kiss her, whispering a sweet “Are you ready, love?”

Runa nodded her head as he started to enter his tip into her, making her moan and wiggle.

“Stay still, and it won’t be so painful,” He warned.

Runa sat still and let him enter her more, almost immediately adjusting to his huge cock, that was almost double the original size. She moaned as he started to go all the way in, her pussy sucking him in, encouraging him to go deeper.

The words echoed in Donnie’s head, “built to be bread?” Tch, we’ll see.

Donnie got comfortable once more at started at a slow pace making her moan with every slap of skin. The way her thighs and tits bounced with every strong thrust made him groan. He watched her arms struggle to try and get free of the velvet, groping at the rope, trying to grab and scratch at something.

Donnie grabbed he thighs, pulling out to kiss and bite them, talking into them. “Mmm, who’s my beautiful princess?”

“I-I am, Donnie.” She huffed out, her face scrunching up and her eyes closed.

“Good girl,” He stopped kissing her legs and pondered the name, “Hmm, plane old Donnie doesn’t sound good enough. Call me ‘Daddy’, m’kay, love?”

“Y-Yes, Daddy.” Runa stuttered out.

“Good.” Donnie lined himself back up with her hole, taking it slow once again.

“Da-Daddy, please, rail me.” Runa begged.

“If you insist, princess.” Donnie started to go faster, the skin slapping together made the sounds of the moaning die down.

Donnie started going even faster, making Runa moan, almost scream, before Donnie put the handkerchief back in her mouth to muffle the noise as he continued to rail her. He gripped his sheets, instinctively biting Runa’s neck, pinning her down.

Donnie just let his instincts run wild in that moment, scratching at the sheets, biting and humping the life out of Runa. After the felt himself getting close, he finally released his teeth from Runa’s soft skin and pulled out, seeing Runa had already came at least 4 times.

Donnie smirked as he saw her cream pour out of her, he took out the handkerchief and looked at her lovingly. 

“Where do you want it, Love?” He asked, stroking her cheek.

Runa groaned, “I-In me, Daddy! Please, cum in me, ah~!”

Donnie looked away, nervously. He wanted so bad to just cum inside her and clam her as his own. Watch his seed flow out of her with a beautiful white stream.

But at the same time, he didn’t want to be responsible for getting her pregnant. He wasn’t ready to be a father.

“Darling,” He said calmly, “Are you on the pill?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Runa answered, still clearly drunk on love, “Just, put your dick in me already! Fill me up with your seed, mm~.”

“If you insist, Princess.” Donnie started to rail her again, making sure to hit her spot, making her wiggle.

After she screamed as he came inside her, he pulled out, now fully able to relax. He untied Runa as she rubbed her writs and panted. He watched his juices flow out of her, he felt like he had done a good job. A sense of affection and pride welled in him.

Donnie gazed at her, pulling her by her waist into him, kissing her forehead. He hugged her close to him and laid down, with Runa laying on his chest. Donnie started stroking her hair and rubbing her ears, humming a soft song.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Donnie asked.

“More then enjoyed, God, you’re so good.” Runa said happily, making a kiss noise at the tip of his nose.

“Thank you, baby.” Donnie smiled, catching his breath, “Does thins mean we’re dating now?”

“No, I think we’re married now.” Runa said.

Donnie laughed, oh, she was serious. “Well, I couldn’t imagine anyone else to be my wife.”

“Really?” Runa looked at him with earnest, “You really mean it?”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Donnie smiled, “You’re the cutest badass this planet has ever seen.”

“Mmm, you make me so happy, Donnie.” Runa yawned.

“I’m glad, darling.”

---BONUS---

“Hey, Leo,” April nudged Leo, making him look over at her with a disgusted look for interrupting his hyper-fixation.

“What?” Leo snarled.

“Did you ever find out what that noise was?” April asked.

Leo’s face went red, “Well, lets just say Donnie was doing some stuff. And that stuff is Runa,” Leo snarked.

The rest of the family looked at each other uncomfortably.

“Turn up the volume, Mike,” Raph said, looking visibly uncomfortable.

They didn’t bother getting Runa or Donnie for breakfast the next morning.

[yup-thats-me]

— you're my world ● hwang hyunjin

summary;the hate online makes Hyunjin rethink his relationship with y/n.

pairing; Hyunjin x reader.

warning; online hate.

♡

#protecthyunjin

"We should break up."

The statement from her lover left y/n as still as a statue.

Y/n was out with her friends having a nice quality time. When she came back to her and hyunjin's apartment, she saw Hyun sitting on the couch with his head in his hand. His phone tossed beside him. When she asked what had happened, it was his reply.

Y/n's purse fell from her hand on the carpeted floor. Dropping to her knees, she shook Hyunjin, eyes already glossed over.

"...what? Why?" She spoke barely above a wishper.

A heavy aigh left his pink lips his eyes averting from her questioning ones. "No reason. I just don't have feelings for you anymore."

She shook her head again dismissively. "That is not what's wrong. It was only a week ago we were talking about meeting our parents. I couldn't do something so bad to make you run out of love with me in such a short period of time."

Hyunjin's head turned away from hers, she noted how his eyes locked on the black rectangle screen. "Is that the reason?" She said slowly, getting up to sit beside him on the couch.

Hyunjin's hand found hers, grasping them tightly. "You know, they're not entirely wrong. I'm not good enough for anyone." He confessed. "I don't seem to be the perfect boyfriend. I barely spend enough time with you, always busy with tours and dance practice, come backs and what not. I feel like I'm not good enough to be with you. You deserve someone so much better than me."

Y/n smiled softly, brushing away some stray hair strands away from his angelic face. "You are enough. Enough for me, enough for the Stays. No on can tell you otherwise. You think those dimwits on the Internet are right?"

Hyun hid his face in the crook of y/n's neck sighing heavily. "Nothing in this universe can make you unworthy of the love you recieve from everyone. And certainly nothing can make me not love you, you pabo," She said, running her hair through his locks. A gesture that always calms Hyunjin.

"If you want to leave me, I won't stop you. Its true I haven't treated you right."

Y/n made Hyun look at her by turning his head. "Whatever time I spend with you is equal to heaven to me. I knew what I signed up for when I committed this relationship with you. The paparazzi, the hates online, the rumors, everything along those lines."

She wiped away a stray tear that fell from his eyes, her own eyes glossed over. "I know what they're saying. I know it's hard. But we'll get through this together. You're my world and together, we'll face the world to fight for our love and for you."

She smiled as Hyunjin pulled her in softly for a passionate kiss.

They will face the battle of life together, forever.

#protecthyunjin

♡

[redo-of-chii]

💌 𝕮𝖍𝖎𝖎’𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝕯𝖎𝖆𝖗𝖞 | 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 #𝟎𝟒

Dear diary & manifestors,

I still continue to affirm whenever I can and things seem to be going pretty well. I do have my moments where I feel down but I try to affirm instead of spiraling like I used to do when I started my journey.

Mental diet is not easy, but even dieting when it comes to food is not easy as well. Still, you can make your journey be fun. I made a few new subliminal playlists on Youtube and I plan to download them to play them at my phone while I'm out.

My manifestations are going pretty well though. For example, I wanted a new desk chair that had adjustable manual reclining and leg support. I also wanted it to be pink and at first I thought "it's going to be difficult for something like that to exist, that mixes comfort and aesthetic". Still, I tried to visualize it.

In the end, because of the changes in my job, I got offered many things and one of them was to change things in my workspace and one of them was have a new desk chair. And funnily enough, my coordinator found a pink chair that fit everything I wanted and said if I wanted it as a joke at first. I said "yes" and in the end, my chair got ordered and it's coming by the end of next week (or sooner).

I also got offered a new project at work involving my SP. Which I am really happy with because I wanted to finally have a common project with him where we could focus on our careers together instead of working with others. It's not bad working with others, but sometimes the people we had to work with were either negative, played the victim if they didn't get away with stuff or even energy vampires. That wasn't good because that affected our workflow a lot.

Another manifestation I am possibly having soon and I want to share with you all is that the person that was giving me a lot of problems at work is possibly quitting soon. Around July, I was affirming that the people that were making my job impossible were gone. I really love my job but those people were really making others (including myself) uncomfortable. From there, everything has been going smoothly. One of them quit because they got a better offer in another company, another one was fired because their problematic behavior reached HR, another one still works with us but she got a project where she is alone and has no time to be a pain and the last one, like I said, they are either quitting or they might get fired for their problematic behavior as well.

The law is amazing and I cannot thank the law enough for everything that is happening around me. I am also having a blast being on Tumblr and sharing many things with you all. I also want to thank the people that messaged me thanking me about my post about "SP Manifestation and Narcissistic Trauma Bond". I really wanted to share that because sometimes we can fall into the trap of thinking we want to manifest an ex back but it's just really a trauma bond. We are complicated and sensitive creatures and sometimes our heart does these things to us and sometimes we try to manifest something we don't really want. Sometimes it's because of fear, sometimes it's nostalgia and sometimes it's even pride because we want to prove we can manifest anything. And WE CAN MANIFEST ANYTHING, still, do we really want that? I think we can manifest better things for us. That's what I did and you should too.

Trust me, it gets better even if it may sound scary at first. But once you taste the life you deserve, you just don't want to ever go back. That's why I want to share my experience from the good and the ugly when it comes to manifestation because even if it may not seem like a straight line at first, it always comes to you.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

꒰ Always & Forever — Chii ꒱

[seelestia]

who are a few mutuals that you appreciate alot? mutual appreciation day 🥰❤️😊🤩💐✨

OOOO FUNFUNFUN!!! thank u so much for sending this in and for essentially spreading positivity, nonnie. this is appreciated ♡ also, instead of strictly moots, i decided to extend my appreciation to everyone! moots, anons, friends and readers alike ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

some odeliaesqué sappy appreciation under the cut:

@yvnaology - one of my fav facts abt yona was that she's one of the first moots i ever had on tumblr!!! and she's a lyney kisser and a fellow aventurine kisser (#taste). also she's so silly (/aff) and easy to talk to! like u'll feel at ease around her. she deserves good great and awesome things in life, so make sure to water ur yona daily with love <3

@solarisfortuneia - mika wished me congrats when i reached 1k and i still remember it till this day <3 she's friendly in a shy/modest way and suchsuchsuch a good writer! e.g. i cry over this every day actually. mika also has her silly moments sometimes too. someone save her /j

@floraldresvi - simply the sweetest & most supportive moot EVER! vivi is full of love and she's good at giving some of that love to others <3 her selfships are like bottles of serotonin to me. 100% would drop anything and everything in my hands to support her!!! and ik she'd do the same for me <3 mwah mwah 💐💐

@monicahar - the moot who comes online once in a while and drops absolute meals when she does. ate, left no crumbs 🔥🔥 also SUPER FUNNY!!! and unhinged, i'm concerned but amused at the same time. i hope she's having a nice break!! thank u for ur past & future services ma'am. we love u 🤭🤭

@milk-violet - MIREI !!! sunshine personified but also vv precious. i'm the leader of # protecc mirei squad (real). best person to have ever appeared in my notifs and i lovelovelove when her username pops up. take care & good luck with school! IK U CAN DO IT. remember what i said: slay before ur slayed 🗣️

@xianyoon - the butterfly moot 🦋 !!! both socially and aesthetically hehe. sosooso sweet & kind. has creative projects and executes them well at that too. i personally crown her as genshinblr's best hostess™! also, send her a moodboard and she'll cherish u forever - that's one of her love languages <3 ++ her pretty & aesthetic rb's are such a good refresh for my dash. love her for it!!

@hermosacolibri - the name, 'starlight' fits them sm bcs i feel like if we were to take a peek into their mind, stars will burst out!!! /pos (<- unique complimenting skills ik pardon me). their ideas are brilliant and i can tell they put their all into pursuing their vision <3 it's truly an honor to be a witness & reader. if u want to check them out, they write over at @/starlightlacrimosazpsff !!! ★

@wolfhookk - aaaaa ri !!!! booping her x1000 rn bcs i cannot believe boop trend ended when she came online. the discrimination 😔 /j i'll always remember ri as my first ever moot on here like first, 1st, #1!!! i forever thank her for swooping into my inbox back then and she's welcome to do that even now any time she likes <3

@kaiserkisser - skylia is the true angst consumer, the realest of it!! even in different fandoms LOL. she's nice (and gremlin-ish) when u get to know her more and she reciprocates energy really well! i'll never forget the disaster of boops in my notifs /lh

@callilouv - COOL MUTUAL ALERT !!!! cool art & cool interests. truly, picasso w/ the finger and fandoms!! idk if cal still draws with his finger dhjahshsj but still vv mega cool!

@manager-of-the-pudding-bank - the grandpas & old men kisser where art thou 💔 /j loqua has that awkward & silly rizz!!! idk if she still does wax stamps but i still think it's really cool. bcs qua's just cool in general !!! hehe

@calxlu - aaaaa vi!!! the one who enables my rambles and selfships shhshsh i am so thankful <3 rambler 🤝 rambler is the best. i love talking to her and it's super reassuring to know that it's mutual! even if i take some time but i always look forward to seeing her replies in my inbox. it's like we're penpals across the screen talking abt irl stuff and our f/o's ꒰✿´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡

& honorable mention: @/zhongrin. rin does not interact with minors anymore (which i respect and so should everyone!), so we count as former moots. but !!! i still think she's an amazing person regardless <3 (note: her blog is equally as great but plsplspls be mindful of her rules beforehand.)

brainrot anon - A REAL ONE!!! always there when i come back from the grave each time. i get reminded of them whenever i look at my inbox, it's an instinct atp. their brainrots are so fun & random (but that's a charm in itself /pos) !!! tbh i love elaborating them all so never stop sending the brainworms in <3 feel free to treat my inbox as a drop-off for ur thoughts LMAO /gen. come by again soon!

michiki anon - MY COUSINNNMNMN!!! i still love and miss when they'd come into my inbox to chat. it was so nice getting to know someone in a casual way <3 i hope ur doing well wherever u are, michikinon! i'm doing well these days and i hope u are too 🤍

rix anon - their series still has me FLOOOORED. i still think it deserves a proper platform than just thru my lil ol inbox. it deserves more recognition :( but just the fact that i got to help share their writing alone is an honor of its own!!! i hope ur doing well too, rix anon <3

++ everyone who has left a nice feedback / said anything nice in my notifs or my inbox!! even a simple 'cute' or 'this is good' or even just leaving a note means sososo much to me. i'm just a measly guy in my own little corner on this site, really - so thank u thank u thank u all !!! 🫂