#I think it’s because it’s easier/more fun for me write
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
can you shut the fuck up youre making all trans guys look bad so fucking annoying. insane that u cant handle any fucking criticism whatsoever lol holy shit. whole ass fucking paragraph. gotta put that evil mean trans woman in her place right. god forbid someone gets frustrated at being consistently shit on by people in her community. im gonna be so real rn and say that as trans guys / tme people we have it so much easier its actually insane (coming from someone whos been thru corrective rape when i was 12 after i came out as a trans guy btw! theres my fucking pound of flesh. jesus.) not even rly trying to convince u but u just piss me the fuck off annoying as fuck
First off: So sorry about what happened to you, my most sincere condolences. It's the only thing I can really give, hope your life gives you enough peace and happyness to allow you to live with such an event.
Second:
You're making all trans guys look bad
I'm not a trans guy, I'm a transmasc, very different, a difference you should if not care about at least keep in mind if you want to respect less binary forms of masculinity. I don't speak as nor speak for trans guys, because I am not one, maybe if you actually read what I write you would know.
Insane that you can't handle any fucking criticism
Criticism where? Let me be absolutely blunt and sincere: All I see in the posts I replied to is tired, scared and hurt people who cope with said feelings by turning their vents into everyone else's problems.
I vent a fucking lot, everyone can see that, but when I vent I am sincere and point the source of my pain, how I feel, why I feel that way, and which people I believe reinforce it. What I don't do is go out of my way to involve people who have nothing to do with it or with how I feel.
Trust me I know how they feel, and the way they are dealing with it is incredibly self-destructive and I want nothing more than for them to get out of that shitty mental state that hurts them so they can feel better and have a slightly better life and emotional responses to the world.
Whole ass fucking paragraph
Yeah, that is how one transmits ideas. Shocking.
Gotta put that evil mean trans woman in her place right
I've replied to a couple posts so I don't know which one you're talking about, but I've no clue about the gender of the people who I replied to, I simply replied to shitty ideas, don't care who's behind them.
Pretty lame that you try to make this a gender war, don't you think?
God forbid someone gets frustrated at being consistently shit on by people in her community
"her" ok so this is you personally defending someone you know, I can tell.
Statement goes both ways don't you think? You think this is just for fun?? Yeah let's start a conflict that is affecting the lives of real people for fun!
We are fucking tired of the mockery, the disrespect, and the extreme policing of transmasc and trans men's language and experiences by people who have no say in them.
Do you care about that too or are you a hypocrite? Because when I reply to people's shit-ass posts I do in fact care about them otherwise I'd ignore em and let em keep hurting themselves.
"Oh but these ones attacked this person" I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck. There are shitheads everywhere, in every opinion and side of any conflict. There are gonna be shitheads who use this as an excuse to attack people of a certain particular gender they already had something against, it is irrelevant to the ideas exposed. Let's not act like there isn't a whole plethora of posts about killing transmasc please, you SHOULD care avout that too.
As transmascs/tme people we have it so much easier
You're free to have an opinion about your own experiences and I have no horse in that race. HOWEVER:
•You're not the only transmasc in the world and your opinion is very clearly not a universal truth, so don't you dare spit on everyone else's experiences by deciding what's true and what's not without counting with them.
• In your dumbass dychotomy of "tma/tme" transmasc are not the only ones put on the "tme" label and the same way I cannot talk about YOUR experiences you have no fucking right to talk about everyone else's experiences specially the ones from other identities and lives that you did not get to be or experience.
•Without dipping my toes in your opinion or your experiences I profoundly disagree with you.
• Lastly, WHO THE FUCK CARES WHO HAS IT WORSE?! WE'RE ALL FUCKING HURT AND BROKEN WE'RE LITERALLY KILLED IN THIS WORLD FOR JUST EXISTING, YOU WANT A COMPETITION??? GO FIGHT FOR TRANS PEOPLE'S RIGHTS TO COMPETE IN SPORTS INSTEAD OF CREATING OPRESSION OLYMPICS. GET YOUR COMFY ASS OUT OF YOUR INTERNET ARMCHAIR AND GO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE WORLD FFS.
There's my fucking pound of flesh. jesus.
Again so sorry you had to go through that, but you realize the whole point of this is to be able to have words for those specific forms of opression and awful events right?? To have experiences like that respected and treated with the seriousness they deserve right??? That is what we want.
You experienced transandrophobia, and the people you're defending right now don't want you to have a word for it, or allow only words picked by them as if they had any right to speak for you. Respect yourself more, man.
Not even rly trying to convince u but u just piss me the fuck off annoying as fuck
Hey at least you're honest, good. I don't give a fuck though, if you wanna keep hating me I have good news for you: I don't plan to ever shut the fuck up, enjoy.
The one person you hate is not me anyway, that is plain obvious... but that's a you thing to try and work on.
Sayonara dude👋🏻
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
With a Tender Kiss, I'll Love You Always
Well golly. I haven't written fanfiction in ages. Anyway, I'm obsessed with Justin Herbert and in a soft mood, so I want to write something that'll give you a cavity or two.
It's not that good, but I needed to write this. For some reason.
Enjoy!
P.S. I didn't read over this. It is as I have written it.
The knocking on the door continues as you struggle to lift yourself off your bed with crutches. Grumbling to yourself, you finally find balance. Or at least as much balance as you can for someone with one functioning leg.
You hobble to your front door and check the peep hole. You only see the torso of your vertically gifted friend and the cause of your current misfortune.
Convincing you to go skiing for the first time ever was something no one else could do, but Justin Herbert made a compelling argument. And by that, he really just told you that he really wanted you to go skiing with him. You know you shouldn't turn into such a following, babbling, love-stricken idiot around him, but you couldn't turn that part of your brain off when he was around.
You unlock the door and hobble back as you swing it open. Justin reaches out to catch you as you start to lose balance again. He's very good at doing that.
"You ok?" He asks you. You only nod in response, feeling another shooting pain stream through your leg all the way up to your hip.
You and Justin make your ways to the couch. Justin grabs your hand and helps you sit more comfortably, setting your crutches against the side table. A lot easier to do than throw them in floor, which usually ends up happening when you try to prop them up somewhere.
"I can still get you a scooter, you know." Justin offers.
"I'd rather you get me a surgeon who will fix me up today," You grumble.
Justin sits beside you and smiles at you. That's all he really had to do to get you to smile back at him. But you can see it in his eyes that he's beating himself up. He feels more guilty over this than anything he's done in his life.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to say sorry enough times for this."
"Justin, stop. I'm not mad at you," You reassure him, but you know he won't feel any better about this.
"You still have to wait another week till surgery, right?" He asks.
"Unfortunately."
"What do you need me to do until then?"
There was one thing about this whole ordeal that has made it even more difficult to get over. And it's the fact that you haven't been able to shower. It's too dangerous. You've been told to take sponge baths until after surgery. It's kinda ridiculous sometimes, but that's healthcare for you.
"It's kinda weird," You begin.
"Whatever it is. I'll do it."
"I need help," You struggle to say what you need to say. Justin is a good friend of yours, and while you harbor potentially unrequited feelings for him, you don't want to make him uncomfortable. Justin is such a good friend to you. He's the whole reason why you've been able to come out of your shell and actually enjoy a lot of life's fun little quirks. That was until you trip over a larger than expected rock while skiing down a mountain of hard snow.
Justin was the first person by your side. He carried you out of the line of other skiers and stayed with you at the hospital.
"Are you gonna say it? Or do I need to guess?" Justin asks.
"Sorry. I," You sigh. "Please don't get weird about this."
"Then tell me," He responds, poking your arm playfully. This gesture allows you to realize just how close he is sitting to you.
"I really need to shower. But they told me not to because I could get hurt, and because I don't have a bathtub, I can't sit in a bath either. I can only take sponge baths until after the surgery. I just feel really gross, and I think if I smelled less like vanilla ass, then I'll feel better."
"You want me to give you a sponge bath?" He asks.
"I just need help with one. I'm not gonna make you do everything," You explain.
You tell Justin that you need a bowl of soapy water, preferably warm along with your sponge and a towel or two.
"Is that all?" Justin asks.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?" You asks him noticing the slight pink tinge to his cheeks. Dimples on full display as he shakes his head.
"Thank you, Justin."
"You need me to stay here while you get cleaned up? I mean, in a different room."
"Sure. I might need your help," You respond. Justin nods and starts to walk away before you call him again, "Justin? Would you mind bringing me a clean shirt? I'm ashamed to say how long it's been since I've changed."
"Don't worry about it. I'll be right back," Justin responds. He walks back to your room and doesn't take long to bring back a familiar t-shirt. A green one with a big yellow "O" painted on it.
"I didn't know you had this," He says. "I've been looking for it honestly."
"I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to give it back."
Justin tosses you the shirt. He stands there waiting for you to give him your dirty clothes.
"Uhh... Sorry, I- Would you mind? Turning around?" You ask him.
"Oh! Sorry. I wasn't thinking," Justin turns around and holds his hand out for the shirt. You quickly switch t-shirts, deciding to wait until he leaves the room to take the shirt back off.
After taking your time to wash every crevice you could reach, you finally reach the most difficult part of this process. Your feet. You pull the leg of you sweatpants up and try to reach your sponge over to your feet. You feel that stinging, shooting pain again. And you're trying to clean your good foot. The splint on your other leg makes it surprisingly difficult in the position you're in to move your good leg.
You groan in pain and sit back on the couch. Taking a deep breath until the pain subsides. You sit back up and try to reach again with no luck.
You sigh. "Justin! You can come back in here now!"
Justin awkwardly enters the living room and sees you struggle to get your feet.
"You ok?" He asks. "You need help?"
"I'm sorry," You respond.
Justin walks over to the couch and crouches down in front of you. He puts the bowl of lukewarm water in the floor over a towel. He gently grabs your leg and adjusts so that you can be in a more comfortable position.
"That alright?' He asks, looking up at you. Eyes sparkling.
You feel like you swallowed a frog with the way he's looking at you. You nod. Justin holds your foot as he takes your sponge and gently scrubs.
"Is that warm enough?" He asks. So attentive to you.
"Yeah," You say with a raspy breath. Justin uses the towel to dry your foot off. He looks up at you again and smiles.
Not being able to stop yourself from talking, you say, "This is officially the weirdest thing I've ever done with a friend."
"Yeah." Justin says quietly as he moves to the more sensitive leg. He gently pulls the leg of your sweatpants up, gently grabbing your foot and even more gently scrubbing the foot. He notices the deep purples and reds that reach your calf. Those same colors that is causing the delay in your surgery.
"You good?" You ask him, being the worried one for a change.
"I just can't believe this happened to you. It's all my fault," He says.
"Justin."
"No. I'm the one who convinced you to go skiing when you said repeatedly you didn't want to."
"Justin. If I didn't want to go skiing then I wouldn't. I only went because it was you," You explain. Not even thinking. The things that a fresh sponge bath makes a girl do.
"Yeah. Cause I'm your friend," He says, going quiet again.
"Because I like spending time with you. I love spending time with you. And I'll do whatever you want so that I can keep spending time with you."
"What?"
"I'll do whatever you want so that I can keep spending time with you."
Justin looks up at you again. He stands on his knees to get a little closer to you.
"What do you mean by that?"
"You're smart enough to figure it out yourself, Herbert."
"Please, tell me."
"Don't make me say it."
Justin moves so that he's a mere centimeter from your face. Your lips just barely touch before you stop and pull him in for a hug. Justin doesn't think. He just hugs you back and savors the moment.
"I would let you kiss me, but I have shit breath right now too. I want my first kiss with you to be perfect."
"I don't care how smelly you think your breath is. But if you want to wait. I'm fine with that. I'm just glad we can finally be subtly honest with each other," Justin admits. You nod along in agreement before Justin touches a tender kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes and breathe him in. Afraid that he'll evaporate into thin air if you don't savor this moment yourself.
"I'll love you always, you know."
_____
That's all folks. I didn't really know how to end the story. But it's been a long time since I've written so please give me you most constructive criticisms please.
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
The majority of the TTS fandom seems to be a bit Varian-centric, at least that’s what mostly shows up on my feed. And I’m fine with that, he’s one of my favorite characters, I love to see it. But, can you guys recommend me some Eugene and/or Rapunzel or New Dream centric blogs? Preferably still active. I love Eugene, he’s also my favorite character and I love Punzie, and I feel like I don’t get to see them as much.
#I love Varian I promise but I’m a little annoyed that my feed is 80% him#I mostly blame my algorithm tho#I realize I post about varigo more often but New Dream is my otp#I honestly don’t even know why I post about it as much as I do#I think it’s because it’s easier/more fun for me write#because they’re goofier and I love writing stupid people#tts#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#eugene fitzherbert#rapunzel#new dream
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay. just rambling here, but, i think armand took more than just the end of the interview away from daniel.
we got that little moment about that night, saying 'you asked me to' to louis. 'you asked me to take this from you, you could not live with it,' leading into, 'i look after you when you cannot look after yourself, i make those choices for you.'
we know that during the chase and devil's minion era, daniel was an addict, who was, by his own admission, slowly killing himself. he was also addicted to blood.
it's really not too far to make the jump, if devil's minion occurred, that armand made the choice to step in, in his own mind, for daniel's best interests. i know this isn't a unique jump to make, but; again with armand's "i look after him when he cannot look after himself" continual reiteration, i think it's a fair assumption.
he can also replace and blur memories, which makes the discussion of alice and paris -- why the dessert from that night? -- and how immediate and sincere his answer of "she wanted to say yes, but she didn't trust you. you hadn't given her a reason to." this could be the night he took them away, replaced himself with alice, planted something similar for her to start the relationship, then step back and watch it fall. and i think the thing that stands out there is just how tender he is while saying it. there's an undercurrent of something else entirely underneath, it isn't a dig at daniel in the moment, despite the pushing earlier in the scene.
and then in s1, when louis say to daniel, "i'd give it to you now." and the cut to armand, still in disguise, and his micro-expression of horror, the way he stiffens and looks away... and the little moment of what i read as conflict when daniel says no. his jump to "may i be excused?" i can't tell in the moment, if he's horrified about the offer itself, the fact that it is louis offering to turn daniel rather than himself, or the fact that daniel denies it. because i don't think armand could actually let daniel die if this was the case.
the disguise itself-- why pretend to be rashid? i think part of it is to try and hide behind a human persona to keep those memories at bay; especially given the little moments of flashback that got triggered by little mannerisms. i can't decide whether they're intentional pushes or not, whether armand wanted/wants daniel to remember on his own, or wants to keep it under wraps. i think, even if he believes he doesn't want it to come forward, he truly does deep down.
and once he's revealed himself as armand, the way he gazes at daniel, his beautiful boy. the continued "our boy", from both he and louis, the "he's still in there, somewhere..."
and i think "our boy" is also really interesting, because why would daniel be armand's boy, based solely on the moments that louis initially remembered? armand didn't really have any emotional connection to daniel that night, sure, he saved him, but that doesn't really mean anything; he saved daniel for louis, not for daniel's sake.
and, jumping back "our boy,[...] he's still in there somewhere"... there's implication that louis might know about it? again, i don't think this is related to the original interview, or at least, limited to it? i don't have anything concrete here, just vibes, but again, why is armand's boy still in there somewhere?
and sure, some of these are reaches and i don't think i'm necessarily right, but god it would be deliciously awful if i was.
#tvc book spoilers#meta#iwtv#interview with the vampire#devil's minion#daniel molloy#armand#iwtv spoilers#i'm spitballing here and also haven't reread qotd in a while (about to start it now) so details are. hazy.#i'm also definitely not the first person to have had these thoughts i just needed to get them all down#anyway. think about the drama.#there's also some fun stuff there about armand potentially sabotaging daniel's relationships because 'if i can't have him no one can'.#we know he's possessive as hell. we know he's controlling. what human could stand up to a vampire influencing their life?#him monitoring and managing daniel at a distance. checking on daniel's thoughts at all moments of the day and night.#gently nudging daniel to be more nocturnal to make it easier to keep an eye on him.#i should. probably write something about this huh. it's clearly embedded in my brain. the inherent toxicity of vampire relationships <3#and also. the little tale of the body thief reference too. like. is that going to effect daniel?#we have precedent for an old man to be put into a young man's body and turned into a vampire. why not here?#additional essay in the tags sorry hjgdfjh#it's late. this has been on my mind for ages and i'm so brainfoggy right now. forgive me if none of this makes sense
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Autism tests bother me for two reasons:
A: The assumption that all loud places are equal
B: BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I DONT STUDY HUMAN BEHAVIOUR AND CAREFULLY ADJUST PERSONALITY TRAITS TO FIT A SOCIAL GROUP AND ALSO UNDERSTAND PEOPLES THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS FROM A CLINICAL STANDPOINT.
#Like yeah Im socially unacceptable by choice because I have more fun and any odd behaviours are masked under the guise of insanity WHICH#WHICH YOU MAY THINK MAKES ME EASIER TO READ BUT I FIND THAT PEOPLE TEND TO WRITE OFF ODD BEHAVIOUR WHEN IT IS A CONSISTENT#That and the way embarrassment works for others is my latest fascination#Okay so maybe im committing mild war crimes by documenting how my classmates and friends interact with people and the world#Maybe the notebook im fishing up to document my classmates next semester is a deranged thing#what eas this post originally about?#OH YEAH. Broad generalizations annoy me
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Image Description: a set of five edited bug fables screenshots from the pre-battle zommoth encounter. The first is the same as in-game, Kabbu saying "W-What is that!? Something's coming!" The second is of zommoth appearing on screen with its sprite edited to be various shades of pink and yellow, wings the same pattern as Leif's (but still with the purple blight magic stuff in the chest area.) The next three images have the sprite edited in the same way.. The third image is of Leif's saying "...Wh, Rkejrm-m-Muse!? Kjdrira, mebsrgr...!!!" The next is Kabbu saying "Muse!? Leif, that's..." The final is Vi saying "T-That doesn't make any sense!" End ID]
I thought about one of my fucked up and evil au ideas for five minutes again, so I decided to spend like fifty hours making a thing about it. Basically what if Muse went back into Snakemouth later to try to rescue Leif or at least bring back his body and got caught by the roaches.
Putting just the edited sprites under the cut if you wanna see those without the lab mood lighting:
#bug fables#bug fables spoilers#muse bug fables#or as I've been saving my files for this as:#Zommuse#:3#Leif bug fables#despite taking a super long time (not actually fifty hours but it felt like it) this was fun!#I am so much more comfortable with writing than visual art stuff but since I don't have any specific thoughts on the scenario#past this moment this is a way easier way to get my thought across in slightly more description than my one paragraph up there#eyedropped all the colors off Muze and Grandpa's sprites and then played with them a bit to make them go together nicer#part of the length was me figuring out how to do stuff and part of it was because I had to stitch some stuff together inconveniently#as I said earlier: aa spoiled me. what with having all the game assets and backgrounds either conveniently already extracted#or at least mechanically very easy to get myself because it's all just pixels and all the bits are on different layers!#(also storywise I usually tend to go with giving muse fire magic when I'm thinking things. but keeping the blight was easier shorthand.#and also all those times she's more on leif's end of the cordyceps spectrum. mind more there. so.)
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
question for fic writers: how many docs do you have for one multichap fic? im curious because currently I have four: the fic itself, the planning doc, the notes doc, and the drabbles doc for whenever i feel like writing random later scenes
i find it really helpful and a lot less confusing having each thing separated into its own doc so i can focus and its way easier to find what im looking for
#idk the idea of doing everything in one doc sounds painful to me#im curious how other people do this#i also know that not everyone plans out fics#like wwy is planned out to the chapter#everything is subject to change but i have all the titles and summaries for each one#which is why i think it has been easier and more fun to write#because i know where the story is going i just have to figure out how
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
2023 go bye bye
#999 spoilers#art summary#art summery 2023#my art#shoutout to all my monster high drawings that are still in the oven#I haven't posted them anywhere but! my friends made them pins and I've sold them on cons throughout the year :3#I only started drawing them as a request from a boothmate actually and they're such fun designs to draw!!!#I went to a lot of local conventions to participate in the artist's alley and made so many friends that way it was wonderful#I think the next thing I'll reblog will be the game I worked on!#found out the nda doesn't cover me simply saying 'hey I worked on this thing coming out in a few months!'#so I made artist and cosplayer friends selling my art on the beach and I got my first proper job#....then I proceeded to give me a shoulder inflammation because my setup was terrible and it had to catch up to me eventually#but! already managed to get a new tablet and desk for myself!! it's even a screen tablet so there'll be a learning curve but I'm excited#I'm hoping this display will make things easier I always had trouble sketching on digital#and I am more carefully taking breaks now also because turns out relying on hiperfocus is bad for you? never knew#I was going through some stuff in the middle of the year there though I had so many vent drawings of akane from may to october qwq#not featured here are the tons of utena and umineko wips I have accumulated those were my favorite new media I got to experience for sure#in fact I'm watching the adolescence movie rn!! what in tarnation is this last act lol whatever! go Anthy go!!! floor it queen#also not featured the tons of oc stuff I made :D I'm glad I feel like I can start properly working on them soon ^^#but yeah that's that I felt like writing a whole diary entry in these tags and you read it and that's what tumblrs all about ♡♥︎
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
every few months I go "maybe I DO want to play ttrpgs" and then usually nothing happens because I get too nervous and also realize that I don't care for roleplaying (you know. ttRPg)
#But is it a 'I genuinely don't enjoy this' or a 'I'm bad at this so it's stressful but could be fun'? I genuinely don't know.#I tend to think it's more of the first because of the way I'm with ocs too (dgaf about them)#but it's like... Maybe if you have people to bounce off of...#my friends are trying to get me to play dnd with them and I 1) don't want to play dnd#and 2) it might be harder to try roleplaying with people I know well then ones I don't & half of probably won't interact with much again?#I mean there's up- & downsides to both...#I can't believe I'm thinking about this again .#I'd actually love to try like. A letter type game that's just writing back&forth I read something like that a mutual+their friend did once#Writing is still hard and I'm not good at it but it's easier than coming up with something on the spot! It's the improvisation of it all 😓#That game was about a mech & pilot. it was cool. Sighs..........#rosa talk
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi guys i am pretty bored
#i think i might have art block#and also probably depression#it’s such a shame that qsmp ended the way that it did#for everything it did against the language barrier and like connections and stuff it deserved a much better fate#it’s just so sad thinking back to how it all fell apart i remember it feeling really weird#i dunno#i was intending to draw a few things for a qsmp splatoon au too by the way#in which the eggs are golden eggs that will hatch into salmonids (obv) and the federation is like grizz and the codes are like#octarians and all#and i was kind of looking forward to doing that for the daily blog but i never got around to it#i also think it’s sad that because qsmp is over i don’t have as much motivation to learn languages#i wish i could speak languages better i just lack the confidence#i have been learning french since i was in senior kindergarten and i am a bit better at it than my peers with the same experience#but it’s hard to string a sentence along in writing#everything is so much easier to second guess and it feels like everyone’s gonna judge me you know#i just need to speak more#i play minecraft in french in an attempt to keep up with it which is fun i must admit but it doesn’t help my speaking out loud or writing#i’m gonna be in another french class next year and i’ll probably get my b1 so that should help my confidence#but that is still a little while away
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tbh? I still feel so out of my depth whenever I try to write Bill. For whatever reason it doesn't come naturally to me like writing Ford does. Every time one of y'all has thoughts on Bill's characterization or writes something Bill-centric I'm mentally taking so many notes
#godsrambles#im in that weird inbetween of knowing when his characterization Feels Right but not knowing how to write him so it feels right#its like that stage in art where your eye for good composition and colors and anatomy improves but you dont know how to actually apply it#what i should do is write some short scenes where he interacts with other people#because most of the fics I've written are 100% his internal thoughts when he is completely alone#which is way easier. takes away at least a few of the layers youd usually have to keep track of with this goddamn guy#the only one i can think of that had bill actually talking to someone else is parhelion. and i KNOW i slightly mischaracterized him in that#made him a lil too Smooth. made his manipulative front a lil too gentle and kind and patient#but since its from fords Very Reverent Rose Tinted Glasses perspective i dont think its that big a deal#and also the more i lean into him Seeming Perfect To Ford the more sinister it is to read with the knowledge of what happens later#which is. so much fun. and im so normal about it#but i still do want to get better at writing him interacting with others#ironically one issue that seems to come up is me being like 'whenever he talks to people they always respond exactly how he expects them to#like subconsicously. in the form of 'they get tricked successfully' or 'they are annoyed and bothered to the extent he was going for'#tfw you cant write a character bc you accidentally have the same innaccurate thought process as him#tags essay#TBH writing him as Too good at manipulation in parhelion is also billcore.#'this is how it happened right. im soooo good at trickery good job me'#if you count 'tricking yourself' then yeah bill youre the best at trickery there ever was
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ahoy!
I'm currently sailing the oh so rough seas that is exam time, so I'm going to be away for a bit longer. I just once again have to express how happy I am every time i see interactions with this blog, even though I've been very inactive recently. It really has helped strengthen and keep up my resolve in wanting to help make digital privacy, piracy and computer knowledge more accessible for as many as I can. So again, a big THANK YOU to you all for being here!
I've been considering if there would be any interest in me trying to create a more in-depth resource for finding ways to improve your quality of live when using computers and the like?
While my first thought was a simple list, I know that those can get overwhelming really quick. So I've been playing around with the idea of a "clippy"-like addon to the blog that can offer you directions to common issues (such as, "How do i remove the 'search on the web' results on Windows 10?", "What browser-addons should I have?" and "How to speed up YouTube on FireFox?"). I think I would also want to have it be accessible through a GitHub-page, so that mobile-users also could easily access it, and so you all have other options than to only have it accessed through a Tumblr blog.
#The sailor's thoughts#Piracy#Privacy#Computer tweaks#tumblr polls#I need some fun and useful coding project to look forward to during these last weeks of exams#I'm gonna claim that this is warming up for the essay writing I've gotta do next#University really has been the best school-experience I've been through so far. Closing in on that Bachelor's degree in Digital Culture#Currently taking three classes in an attempt to catch up to my peers because they've been very sweet to me.#Been learning a lot about both accessibility and dark patterns in web design and I also want to share what I've learnt at some point#Knowledge is for sharing and I want to make it easier and maybe even fun to learn about digital culture#Because that shit is so important in this digital age of ours#And I think a bunch of the stuff that I've learnt should be more common knowledge and to do that the material needs to be more accessible#And with that I attempt to return to writing about self-representation on Tumblr. Because apparently I could write an essay about that???#Also that ADHD-medicine drought going on has been pretty bad. Sending some extra love to any and all affected by it <3
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
2am rant cause idgaf.
#it's 230am and i still can't sleep which means it's truth hour#the reason it's taking me so long to write#is that i fucking hate canon Dundee :) and i mean /fucking hate/. even more than joffery from GoT cause at least he died.#and it was easier to write in the four months that dundee was dead#and now that he's back and poking at every trauma response deep in my soul and making me sideeye certain... “character decisions”#it makes me fucking hate writing him and thinking about his now very yikers mindset#regardless if i've moved my version of him out of canon interpretation because i still have to see/hear about him in NP#so i usually write between bursts of rp where dundee has no interaction with any bbmc and i don't have to read#about his dumb fucking shit in the meta channels#and if there's anything i could will into existence#it would either be dundee permas or this version of bondi move to NewDayRP. cause i love bbmc and their rp but NP ain't it.#and one man seems determined to not let them have fun#while claiming that it's fun for him (because he suffers no consequences). so...#hate it or not. idgaf. that's just my 2am rant.#or maybe i just transition all my writing to the OC i re-found a week ago that I made for “post-apocalypse/solar-punk novel” years ago#and the character called “duke calamity” cause he shares a shocking amount of similarities#(minus the very yikers traits of dundee)#except Duke is actually gay and doesn't no homo panic about it because he's too self aware about being a character for people to enjoy#so he's perfectly happy to drive the commuter bus across the desert for the miners#and tell you sappy stories about his badass husband who murdered a mouthy fucker who was going after one of the other miners#and he'll fuck you up if you insult his very nice bus that he built himself even if a few parts are missing after a trip through a storm#and he'll back up his husband when shit starts going down at the mine even if he has no idea how it all works. but husband is mad about it#so now he is too#.....i just don't know anymore. i do like writing for it. but knowing the corrupted source of it makes it not fun
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love tiktok edits of videos from fansigns and such because they subtitle everything. Not just what the idols are saying -- though it's more of a "*praises him*" than "wow that was so cool!" kind of subtitles -- but also every single thing they do. So you have a video of a guy talking quietly to another guy, and in case you didn't know what you're looking at, the subtitles helpfully inform you that the guy who's smiling is smiling, or that the guy who's taking his jacket off is taking his jacket off, etc, etc. Fascinating.
#shrimp thoughts#i don't have a tiktok and will never have a tiktok so idk if this is an accessibility thing but I don't think so#because the guys aren't labeled? so if someone's visually impaired a *smiles* isn't going to help them discern WHO is smiling#so it looks more like a cross between a video and this like... i struggle to put my finger on this way of speaking online#*smiles* *hugs you* *covers you with a blankie*#this also made me think of like... forms of fanwork that both explore the possibilities of medium X but also are clearly limited by#the medium Y#for example social media aus by default require everyone to be social media obsessed. the kind of socia media is dependant on what#generator the author has on hand. written fanfiction often makes it just texting/group chat but the same AU on twitter will have#everyone using twitter because it's easier and more efficient. but also it WILL give you a guy who idk wakes up after his surgery and the#first thing he does is open twitter so he can update his real life friends#in an actual fanfic the friends would either already be there OR he'd call them/drop them a quick text#in an actual fanfic the main couple would just have sex and maybe their friends would spot a hickey the next day#BUT in a social media au they have to update their twitter followers (somehow everyone's also followed by hundreds if not thousands of#people) or even post a sneakily taken photo of their partner's naked back. because some authors do write actual prose parts that#detail the couple's first meeting irl (if they met online) or just things that are more difficult to portray over fake twitter screens#but some don't. whether because they can't or because they cna't be arsed I Don't Know but a character who posts on twitter WITH PHOTOS#2 minutes after sex is distinctly different from a character who doesn't do that. so it's like. have fun but also the medium you're using I#inherently impacting who your characters are. and very often they're obnoxious assholes#though i wonder what would it look if one person in a SM au was a twt-obsessed chronically online weirdo and one only used reddit to ask fo#advice about their hobby. hm. it would probably not be a SM au then
1 note
·
View note
Text
i like the difference in my writing styles for bedussey and pancho i think it’s fun
i made bedussey’s writing style be more like… recapping kinda? to me he’s busy he doesn’t really have time to sit down and write and also he’s only really doing it to get things that r bothering him or lingering in his mind down somewhere kinda almost like confessional (wild ass comparison no this means nothing) while pancho’s is a lot more like… detailed ? almost ? he spends more time on stuff he’s writing for fun/enjoyment and he in my mind has a lot more time 2 be writing ? like neither of them r super detailed but in the difference between the two chapters i imagined bedussey was writing months afterwards while pancho was writing maybe a week after ? he wrote down more specific conversations they had/more of what he was feeling while bedussey got the basics down i think that makes sense
#also pancho goes on more tangents#he has adhd to me i think and when im telling a story i get really sidetracked so like#i think he’d have a similar thing#it’s stuff that ties into the story though and it’s not like#awful ? to read ?#at least not 2 me#made my friend read panchos chapter and he really liked him so#im winning :) pancho :)#i made the choice to write the fanfic from bedussey’s perspective because at the start his voice was easier for me to get down#but. now panchos is and he’s kinda a little bit more fun 2 wrote#but i like writing from bedussey’s perspective too so#im having fun :)#anthonys tumblr adventure#anthony’s bedussey fic
0 notes