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#I think it took them a season to get a grasp on how to draw the characters
delusinaldreamer19 · 2 months
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Funny how the little snippet/trailer of the green witch arc that we got was better then the entirety of season 4.
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prideprejudce · 1 month
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I think alot more people would enjoy the show if they learned to see Rhaenyra and Alicent as Unreliable Narrators, and characters who are supposed to have glaring flaws and weaknesses.
Mandatory preface- There are Issues™️ with season 2 that are its own other ask- but the complaints ive seen about character assassination on both women kind of tells me ppl just wanted to see the two just GirlBossing around, not being tragic characters trapped in their own circumstances.
For Alicent specifically- she just isn't written to be Cersei 2.0, and while it was really interesting to see motherhood from cersei's point of view, its already been done!! I actually prefer seeing Alicent's mercurial clinging to and abandoning motherhood- its interesting!! She was made a mother at what- 15? An age where you truly arent mentally developed enough to raise 3 kids, AND be a child bride, AND be a queen, (AND be a lesbian).
Alicent is interesting to me because she's stunted at 15 years old, she's an adult woman who talks to and sometimes bullies her kids as if they are her peers, and is obsessed with her childhood crush(es). She hasn't built any new relationships* past the ones she was entangled with as a teenager, she's obsessed with both acting out to make SOMEONE see that shes suffering, (she's honestly pretty blatant for someone who prides themselves on being the Temperate Voice of Reason) but also to erase herself and reset to before she had to marry the king, before aemma died.
I think most of her 'bad out of character' decisions are just these two impulses winning out, her trying to force a reset, go back to a time where none of this had happened yet, when things were simpler and she had love and every day wasn't the worst day of her life™️.
She sleeps with cole, the man she thought was pretty at 15 (her last uncomplicated attraction just before it all went wrong and aemma died) -she doesnt seem to like it that much, but she does seem compelled to seek him out, esp when upset- shes obsessed with, and desperate to reconnect with Rhaenyra, her childhood best friend (and first love) and get back to where they were as kids, AND she still treats and asks her father for absolution as if he's still the only authority that matters to her just like she did at 15. Alot of her 'victim complex/bewildered they took it so far' behaviour in the plotting of rhaenyra's usurption reads to me like a teenager in over her head, she talked big game and now its real and shes panicking!! She's tragic BECAUSE she's still a teenager- so stunted shes unable to meaningfully grow up and learn to make healthier choices for herself, or move on and stop trying to grasp at the 'if i could just go back' urge.
As a mother, I think this creates an interesting dynamic as well, and I do like that in the casting even, she seems closer in age to her kids than rhaenyra does to hers. I think the contrast ppl are drawing with Alicent Protecting Her Kids in season1 compared to her giving them up in season two isn't bad writing to me, just massive differences in context. Sure she protected Aemond in driftmark, but we cant ignore that she probably felt humiliated by her husband choosing rhaenyra's side over hers in front of everyone, did it seem like a grown woman fighting for her son?? or a teenager furious with her ex winning one over her again? or both!! both sides twisted together is still interesting! When she protected Aegon from Rhaenys, is stepping in front of her son the king to protect him from the enemies dragon fire not the most romantic daydream of a deserving death a child bride could come up with?? Was it the impulse to protect the son she couldnt decide if she loved or hated, or was it to have the most heroic death possible to escape the reality that she sees coming. And if Rhaenyra hears about how Brave she was in the face of a dragons maw, and cries about it forever and feels sooo bad and regrets it til the day she dies, thats an added bonus. I think Alicent loves her kids, but is teenager selfish about HOW she loves and protects her kids, and is unable to be a mature, consistant, protective mother to them when she also sees them as having ruined her life. I think in season 2 when she 'gives them up' shes relieved, and once again following the compulsion of 'if i reset to when Rhaenyra was heir, i had no sons, and i wasn't married or queen, everything will be better'. I think theres complexity to it, i think she does love her sons and feels insane about it, but I think Alicent has been trying to Go Back in more and more Intense ways ever since she got married, and we might be giving her sanity more credit than it deserves when it comes to the need to wipe the board clean and go back to being 15.
hey anon are you trying to get married to me or what
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lumosinlove · 10 months
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Vaincre
June part i
~
Hope you all enjoy! Maybe all of Finn's superstitions in this chapter can go towards helping me beat this cold I've got...
Also, it's beginning to look a lot like ficmas...doo doo doo doo doo...:)
~
Ain’t it funny how I’ve wanted this all my life?
It started with a no look pass. That’s when Remus felt the buzz. Sirius had nearly put one in from James, who had kept his eyes straight ahead, drawing Saint’s attention. And it had almost worked. At least it had brought the promising feeling of a win. The click of the team. Remus shouldn’t be thinking like that. They were six minutes away from the first period's horn and this game changed at the drop of a hat. Logan had collided with Kota at one point, and there was something there now. Quiet hostility. A they were mine first type of deal. Remus could see it all over Logan’s face, no matter how much Kota loomed over him.
Now the Rangers had a high sticking penalty. Remus took his mouth guard out as the whistle blew and shoved it into his glove. Sirius was on the other side of the ice, on the tail of one of the referees and talking a mile a minute, gesturing to James and his bloody lip. There was a kid at the glass just behind him with a sign that said Nuts for Knutty! and he was still clutching the puck Leo had thrown him earlier. Remus almost wished the game would just pause for a moment so he could take it in properly. If this was to be the last game of his first season in the NHL, he wanted to remember it.
“Ouch,” Remus said to James as they circled close for the face-off.
“You bet,” James said, dabbing at his mouth.
Coach kept him on for the penalty kill. Sirius faced off against Zibanejad and Remus darted backwards when he won it. It had that game six feeling: All of them just wanting it to be over already, the slog of knowing that, if the Lions wanted it to go their way, they had one more full game stretch after this one to push through. Maybe more. Play-offs meant there was no over-time, and no shoot-out, just endless periods until someone gave in.
The puck was stuck in their zone and Thomas was beginning to look gassed. Kasey was up in the net, shifting with every ebb and flow of the Rangers’ passing. Remus poked the puck out from Kakko’s grasp and hoped it was clean—he’d nearly felt like he’d hooked it, but the whistle didn’t go. He managed to get it out of the zone and saw Thomas and Olli race off towards the bench gratefully.
He and Sirius didn’t say anything once they were seated next to each other, just caught their breath and watched. Pascal delivered a sound slap-shot, but it went just wide. Logan got the rebound, easy, and sent it to Fox. The horn went just before they put anything real together.
“D’accord,” Sirius said, tapping Remus’ thigh. “We’re not good, but we’re not bad.”
“What an endorsement.”
Remus handed off his gloves off to be dried as they walked down the tunnel. He could hear fans shouting their names as they passed by the glass that looked into the VIP lounge. There was a small girl standing there in a BLACK jersey. Remus watched as Sirius smiled down at her and touched his glove to the glass. The girl grinned and a woman who Remus thought must be her mother promptly burst into tears.
“Jesus.” Thomas laughed from behind him.
“Just me, actually,” Sirius said, and Thomas shoved him.
The locker room already had music playing so Remus guessed that Coach had decided to let them be, or perhaps Sirius had requested a players only break. Remus sat back in his stall and yanked his helmet off. He cut through the beat up tape of his stick with a short blade and sent a look towards Leo, who had a towel around his neck. He was leaned in close to Kasey, who was talking quietly to him.
“Kind of thought Coach was going to say something,” Thomas said. “Is Cap…”
“I didn’t hear him ask,” Remus said, but looked towards Sirius. He was glancing towards the door, too. It opened, and Remus expected Arthur or one of the assistants, but to his surprise, Alex O’Hara slipped through. He was in full gear, only a backwards hat replacing his helmet.
“Oh,” Remus breathed. He looked towards Kasey and Leo. Oh.
“What the hell,” Thomas said. He opened his mouth, obviously ready to shout something at Alex, but Remus put a hand on his thigh to stop him. Thomas looked over at him. “What?”
Kasey had already seen Alex and Remus watched his chest rise and fall in a quick, uneven breath. He put a hand on Leo’s knee, gave him a short smile, and then stood just as Alex reached him. Alex put a hand on his waist, but they said nothing. Kasey simply held his gaze for a long moment, and then turned to the room.
Oh.
“Hey, boys,” Kasey said, voice raised. “Boys, can I…” He’d taken some of his padding off, his hair pushed back from his face. “Can I talk for a second?”
It took everyone a moment to quiet down. They were a little surprised, maybe. Kasey wasn’t one to make speeches, even if it was a players only meeting, but he walked slowly to the center of the locker room.
“Sorry,” he smiled, but it was shaky. “I know we’re all focused on the W. I’ll be quick.”
“Don’t worry, Bliz. What’s up?” Sirius said, and Remus saw that his gray eyes were already somber. They darted to Remus’. If Remus had to guess, Kasey had asked Sirius to keep the room clear for him. Maybe even to have someone get Alex.
“Well. Thanks, Cap.” He looked around at them all. “Look, I know our season’s not over, boys, but I just wanted to say…God.” Kasey cleared his throat, looked down so his hair fell back into his face some. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay, Kase,” Alex said softly from just behind him.
Remus couldn’t describe how difficult it was, watching Kasey, Kasey of all people, get choked up. Watch him work to speak around tears. He watched some of the others realize what was probably about to happen. Thomas’ face fell. Leo stood, like he was going to go to Kasey.
“There, uh,” Kasey cleared his throat, tried for a smile. “There isn’t much I love more than you guys. Really. These years have just been the best of my life.”
“Bliz…” James breathed, took a step forward. The realization was slow around the room, but it was there. This had been in the air for so long that it felt strange to see it properly.
“Really, they have.” Kasey said. “I mean…God, lock me in this room, see if I put up a fight. I won’t. But. But it’s not good for me. I don’t want out of this game, I really don’t, I just—my body can’t do it anymore, boys. And I have to see that. I have to respect it.”
Remus put a hand to his chest. It was the strangest thing, he couldn’t remember ever having any sort of conversation like this one with his college teammates. Sometimes, he thought he had forced himself to forget moments from that time. Pushed them out of his mind. Now, he tried to remember. He tried to think of saying goodbye, or good game, or even being in the locker room with his sling. He couldn’t remember, but he wanted to help Kasey and so he tried. All that came was a blur of pain and dark rooms and a young, young Julian.
“I just…I have a feeling that…” Kasey wiped at his eyes. “Fuck. I know I shouldn’t have done this in the middle of a fucking—elimination game, oh my God.” It drew a small laugh out of most of the team. “You know, this isn’t gonna be our final game of the season, no fucking way, but it could be mine because it’s hard out there and—” His voice pitched up and he cleared his throat. “And I didn’t want it to happen, I didn’t want it to end, without everyone knowing, which is probably—maybe at one point in my life I would’ve called that selfish but I don’t think it is now.”
And then Leo was at his side, hand on his shoulder. He was crying, too, blue eyes vivid.
Kasey smiled and wrapped an arm around him. “And look whose fucking hands you’re in, all right? You’re good as golden.”
There was a heartbeat of silence. No one seemed to know what to say. Leo hugged Kasey, eyes closed and fisting the back of his jersey. Sirius walked forward next, and it seemed to break the spell.
“Don’t tempt me about locking you in here, Bliz,” Thomas said as he strode forward. “I just might do it.”
Kasey laughed as Thomas pulled him into a tight hug. He thumped Kasey on the back. “You going back out with us, right?”
“I want to,” Kasey said. “I think I can.”
“We’ll get this for you,” Sirius said. He put a hand on Kasey’s shoulder. “This is still yours, all of it. No matter what. You know that.”
Kasey looked at Sirius for a long moment. “Cap. Thank you. I don’t think my career would be the same without you.”
Sirius brow drew together and he shook his head. “Non. It’s all you, man.”
His eyes went behind Sirius. “And Dumo…” He pressed his lips together, unable to finish. “I…You’re…”
“Bliz,” Pascal smiled softly. “I’m probably not too far behind you in this case. I know that.”
Remus walked forward and put a hand on Sirius’ back.
“All I can say is that it’s an honor to play with you at our backs,” Pascal said.
Someone let out a whoop, and then they room was sort of clapping, sort of crying, and at least one strand of tension broke.
“I’m feeling a group hug,” Thomas said. “No, Cap, don’t pull that look on me. C’mon. Everyone, get your ass up.”
Remus couldn’t help but laugh, tearful as it was as he let Sirius wrap him up on one side, Thomas on the other. Timmy, Olli, Kota, Leo, Kris, Pascal.
There was a little jostle after a moment as a final person enthusiastically joined.
“Alex,” Pascal said without opening his eyes. “You should absolutely be here, but get your elimination game Ranger blue out of our hug.”
“My bad.”
~
Finn didn’t like being home alone. He didn’t like that he couldn’t watch the game. He didn’t like saying goodbye to Leo and Logan, knowing they weren’t going to the same place—or even if they were, to different teams. He wanted to be in the room. He wanted to play, he wanted the burn of his muscles. He wanted to press his shoulder up against Logan’s, or Alex’s, he wanted to defend Kasey and fight anything that even touched Leo.
Instead he was sitting on the couch with all the lights off and the shades down, listening to the crackle of the radio broadcast come from his computer with the screen turned away from him. He was waiting for period two to start, not in the tunnel to the ice, but when a a plate of what felt like the first truly solid food he’d eaten in weeks. Logan had given him a big kiss when he’d asked for Leo’s spicy chicken and rice burritos. Leo and hummed away happily in the kitchen making them and served him one with a gentle kiss to his forehead.
Okay, being taken care of wasn’t that hard.
His phone rang and he knew it was his mom without having to check.
“Hi,” he said around a mouthful, flipping the screen down towards the couch.
“Hi, baby. Just checking in. Fast game, huh? You doing okay? Eating dinner?”
“Mhm, I’m good. I mean—you know. As good as I can be. Listening.”
“Aw, sweetheart. I know.” He could hear the buzz of the stadium behind her, picked out Natalie’s laugh. “I know this isn’t how you pictured it at all.”
Finn sat back against the couch. “Yeah. Did you see Al?”
“For a second before the game. And Logan. He said that if we talk to you during the game to say he loves you.”
Finn smiled. “Mm. Good. How’s Leo looking on the bench?”
“Oh, they showed just the cutest shot of him like a little turtle—well, no a very tall turtle, with his mouth and nose in his jersey. But he seems good. Kasey seems good, too. He’s made some incredible saves.”
“They sound incredible,” Finn said. “Got your whiskey?”
She laughed. “Oh, you know it. Oh, baby, we’re starting. Gotta go, but I love you very much all right? Your dad, says so, too.”
“Love ya, bud!” came his dad’s voice from a little farther away.
Finn, honestly, felt a little choked up. He blinked the tears away and looked around the dim room. They would only make his head ache. “Love you guys, too.”
He heard the phone disconnect and rested his head back against the couch, suddenly not so hungry anymore. He wrapped his plate up for later and squinted an eye shut at the bright refrigerator light. He put the kettle on—could nothing be easy while using one hand?—and steeped some mint tea. When he came back to the couch, throwing a blanket over his legs, the commercials were over.
No, let’s be honest, if Kasey Winter hadn’t made those saves in the first—I don’t know where the Lions would be right now. Sitting in their dressing room and making fucking long summer plans, that’s for sure. Instead, this is a close game, a competitive game, and most importantly, both teams are still in the game.
I agree with you, Matt. Let’s go to the bench now, for an interview with Rangers’ Logan Tremblay.
“Oh, hi, baby,” Finn said softly.
Thanks, Matt. This is Cassie Baker here with Logan Tremblay—
Finn sat bolt upright. He knew—He knew that voice. Cassie. God. Cassie fucking Baker.
Logan, how do you think this period is going to shape up based on how aggressive that first period was so far?
“Holy fuck.” Finn couldn’t help but laugh. “Holy fuck?”
To Logan’s credit, he sounded just as shocked, as if he’d simply turned around and found Cassie there waiting for him. Cassie Baker. Finn remembered bouncing blonde curls and that god-damn Greek temple of the girl’s sorority house at school. Logan kissing her neck in the hallway. Harz, can we have the room for a bit? Coming back from a cancelled class and hearing—
Finn put a hand over his mouth and laughed again. “Okay. Oh man.”
I think we are two teams that want this badly, Logan was saying. Oh, he sounded so good. It’s going to be a fight, but hopefully entertaining for the fans.
How does it feel to possibly have the chance to eliminate your old team?
“Oh no,” Finn let himself fall sideways into the couch, right onto his shoulder. “Fuck.”
Logan’s laugh, disbelieving, still surprised, filled the room. Um. Intense.
Thanks for the time.
I—thanks.
Finn sat back up, holding his shoulder. Never had he ever wanted to talk to them more. He wanted to see Logan’s face. He wanted to see Leo with his chin tucked down against his chest. He didn’t want Leo sitting on the bench alone all game, watching the others work.
Zibanejad and Black on the face-off. The Rangers have a majority of these under their belts now, but Black wins in and it’s knocked back to Lupin. Remus Lupin, quite the surprise, the secret weapon, there are Olympic rumors, and Walker brings it right to the net—and scores! Oh, this game finally has some action!
“That makes one of us,” Finn said aloud to the room. He wasn’t sure he usually talked to himself this much. Maybe it was only that he couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d been alone. The hospital room, he guessed, but even that had been for mere minutes, not hours. He tugged the blanket farther up his chest and pressed his nose into his sweatshirt. Leo’s. He held his mug close to his face. The mint. Logan’s.
Dumais to Reyes, oh, in a near miss! It’s pitched out of the zone by Fox and picked up again by Goodrow—
Finn winced as the thought that he didn’t care who won the game filtered into his mind. He just wanted them to come home.
~
Luke caught onto Logan’s look the second he was sat back on the bench, breathing hard.
“What,” Luke said. “What the fuck’s that look?”
Logan wasn’t sure where to begin. He risked another glance towards the ice tunnel. Cassie was standing there with the cameraman. She looked the same. Her hair was a shiny dark blonde, blue eyes bright, forget-me-not. She carried herself the same. She was talking fast to the cameraman, directing him with her hand that wasn’t holding her microphone. Confident. Easy. She dressed differently. Smart, well-tailored navy suit that made her short frame look taller. Their eyes met, and she sent him another nervous smile.
“Fuck,” Logan said. He flashed a quick one back and turned away.
“What?” Luke asked.
Paul, Rangers PR, had said nothing more than, Tremblay, you’re ESPN’s interview and then Logan had looked up to find…
Hi, Logan. Yeah, probably should’ve warned you a little better… It’s been a while.
Luke punched him in the arm. “Logan.”
“Ex-girlfriend.” Logan swallowed.
“Girlfriend?” Alex asked, perking up. “You, girlfriend?”
“Ouais.”
“Oh my God, show me.”
“The ESPN reporter.” Luke and Alex both whipped their heads around and Logan closed his eyes. “Don’t look.”
Alex ignored him. “The blonde?”
“She’s cute,” Luke said.
“Stop looking.”
“Didn’t she just interview you?” Alex asked.
“Yes.”
“Did you know?”
“Obviously not,” Luke said. “Dude, you look fucking rattled, what did she do to you?”
Logan didn’t really want to think on it now. They had been good. Happy. For months, really. But she hadn’t had all of him, and she’d figured that much out quickly, if not who the rest of his heart was with.
“It’s more… It’s more what I did to her.” Logan shared a glance with Alex. “Or what I felt like I did to her.”
“Huh,” Luke said. “This is transcending bench talk.”
“Ooh,” Alex said. “Big word.”
“Fuck off.” Luke smiled a little, though. “Can you play with your ex-girlfriend watching, Tremzy?”
Logan hit Luke’s helmet with his stick. “Fuck off.”
Alex snorted as he pushed off the bench with Logan when Coach tapped their shoulders. “Are we gonna talk about the Leo Knut tendencies you seem to have always possessed?”
“Big word.” Logan shoved him so hard that he actually fell over, laughing all the way down. That was sure to be on Twitter somewhere later.
~
And Tremblay shoves O’Hara down. Laughing. Wonder what was so funny.
Finn sighed. “You and me both, bud.”
~
“Dev!”
Logan caught Luke’s back-pass and found himself trapped in the corner with Pascal, the puck between their two stick blades. Logan laughed a little, thought he heard Pascal do the same, but it was over too quickly to say anything. Logan knocked it out to Luke again who drew his stick right back and slammed it towards the goal. Kasey lunged for it, the odd, acute angle, but it went right under his glove.
“Yeah!” Logan put his hands up with a grin. He tried not to look at Pascal out of the corner of his eye.
He tapped his glove to Luke’s helmet when he skated into the celly, Percy slamming into their other side.
“Fucking finally, eh,” Percy shouted. He bumped his fist against Luke’s chest, then Logan’s. “Killer pass. Gorgeous.”
There was a buzzing in Logan’s ears. The crowd. Faces that were familiar but not from now. It was like someone had put a filter over his life and all the colors were different. His eyes found Leo on the bench. He was watching the replay on the big screen.
With ten minutes left in the second period, it did feel right that they had finally scored. Tied up, one-one. Logan skated to the bench and hauled himself over it, watching Panarin’s line go out.
He squirted water down the back of his neck and hit Luke’s thigh. “Good.”
“Yeah, well.” Luke wiped his visor clean with a towel. “Let’s just try and keep it up and end this round.”
Logan didn’t say anything. There was that feeling again. The one he couldn’t quite admit to himself. It was real once this round was over—or even realer than it was now. He wasn’t a Lion anymore. He was someone who ended the Lions’ season.
Panarin’s shot went wide twice and Trouba shot one over Kasey’s shoulder that got overturned for interference. Kasey stood with his back to the ice while the referees reviewed it. He had his helmet up and his water bottle in hand, but he didn’t drink. Logan knew Alex had gone into the Lions’ room. He knew what Kasey had announced. He wished he had been there. He wished he had known before Alex went so he could come. Kasey might not be on his team anymore, but he was still Kasey. He had wanted to stand next to Leo and hold his hand.
Six minutes left in the second. 1-1.
Logan jumped the boards right as the puck soared into the netting above the glass and the whistle went. Logan headed towards the Lions’ zone, but stopped when no one else did. He looked around.
“What’s up?” asked Will.
“I don’t know,” Logan said, frowning as Coach Arthur held up a T with his hands and Kasey started skating towards the bench. “They’re calling a time out.”
~
“Come on,” Finn said aloud to the dark room. “Come on.”
The more time went by, the more superstitious he seemed to get. He kept switching up his position on the couch. He’d even taken the computer into the kitchen while he finished his dinner, hoping they might have more luck if he was in a different room. He was putting his plate in the dishwasher when—
And looks like Leo Knut is taking Kasey Winter’s place in goal for the second game in a row.
Finn turned. “Le.”
Why the sudden switch, we’ll have to wait and see but one could only guess that it has something to do with Kasey Winter’s injury struggles this season. Well, recent seasons, I should say. I gotta feel for the guy, he’s one hell of a goalie.
Finn shut the dishwasher with a beep and cursed. As the final minutes of the second period wound down, he tried to picture Leo there. Wary of Logan. Trying to forget that it was Logan. Just number 71.
Tremblay with a high shot. Finn closed his eyes. —Goes wide of Knut. Kakko picks it up.
Finn listened to the third leaning against the kitchen island with his fingers against his lips. Waiting to hear Logan’s name, or Leo’s. LoganLeoLoganLeo, forced to go against each other.
Instead, it felt like all he heard was Remus’.
Lupin has had ten shots on goal alone in these last two periods. None of them have gone in mind you, but that fact is impressive and—oh that’s from Walker straight to Lupin’s tape and carrying, carrying, back to Walker, no look—and he scores! Remus Lupin with a five-hole on a beauty of a no looker from Thomas Walker! He brings it up to 2-1 Lions.
“Yeah!” Finn shouted, rising to his feet. “Fuck yes!”
He wanted to turn on the TV. He wanted to see. He wanted to watch them celebrate, he wanted to skate across the ice and hug Remus because he would have been on the line. He would have. He could have helped.
“Fucking sling,” Finn whispered, tugging at the elastic strap. Most of tea had long gone cold, and he wanted a popsicle to suck on and dull out the ache in his head a little. Or, really, he wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep but he couldn’t do that. Not before the game was through. It was only 9:30 for fuck sake. Though he did find himself wishing that it wouldn’t go to any OT periods. If he stayed standing he’d stay awake.
He paced to the window as the puck battled between zones. Logan was feisty tonight. He’d come close to blows with Kota twice it sounded like. The Rangers went up on a power play when Kota tripped Logan and Finn nearly cheered before remembering that it was the Rangers. Finn walked around the couch as the whistle blew for another Rangers icing. Whoever kept dumping was only doing the Lions a favor.
“C’mon,” Finn mumbled. “I’m tired and I miss you, c’mon.”
Logan on power play one. Logan, Alex. Back to Logan. Finn was too tense, he really wasn’t supposed to be this tense, he was supposed to be firmly relaxing. But Leo. God, Logan and Alex in front of Leo’s net, glove save against Alex, Logan’s shot going wide. Logan was pulling back, Finn could feel it. He was trying, trying, and then seeing Leo. And he was going to get so much shit for it. Finn sat down, rubbed at the back of his neck.
“Fuck,” he whispered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
He should have been praying for a win, but he was praying for this game to be over.
O’Hara to Tremblay, back to O’Hara—and he scores!
“Yeah!” Finn said then cursed. “I mean, no.” He groaned. He had to stop doing that. “Fuck.”
Alex O’Hara with a very clean tip-in off of an assist from Tremblay, Knut didn’t have a chance. 2-2 now this is a tight game and the scoring has picked up tremendously. The puck drops Jesus Christ, Lupin again! Christ almighty! Lupin again! Right off the face-off! 3-2 Lions!
“Loops!” Finn stood and laughed through the word. They were ahead now. God, the announcer was rambling, the pile up on the ice must be insane, celebrating. There was a short enough amount of time that this could be it, it could be, especially with the crowd the way it was, God, Finn could hear it, he could see it, even if he couldn’t. The pounding of hands on the glass and his teammates shouting right beside him. The way Thomas and Evgeni jumped up and down, making the bench rattle.
There was three minutes to go. They were ahead, and Logan was trying. God, Finn could feel him. The way he moved, the way he breathed. He’d spent his entire career watching him, waiting for him, tracking him even when he couldn’t see him. Catch a pass, catch a mistake. Finish a goal, pretty or dirty. Alex was trying his best but twice they’d gotten their pocket picked by Sirius and it made Finn hide a smile. No one could play with Logan as well as him.
It didn’t stop him from scoring though. Of course it didn’t.
That is one slick wrap-around by Tremblay.
Finn closed his eyes. He wanted that highlight. He wanted it bad.
Knut didn’t look like he even knew where the puck was.
Finn put his head in his hands. He could hear the celebration. “Le. Aw, baby, it’s okay, it’s okay…”
The Rangers even it up again with forty-six seconds on the clock. Oh, the Lions don’t like that. Arthur Weasley doesn’t like that, but he’s used his timeout. Gryffindor will have to figure something out.
“Come on,” Finn whispered. “Come on, boys…”
It was a blur of phrases and images playing behind his closed eyes.
God, impossible save by Knut! He’s gonna get famous for that poke-check of his, we saw it last play-offs, and look’s like we’ll be seeing more of it—
Finn wanted to be there to scoop the puck up from Leo’s waiting stick, clear of the blue paint. He wanted to feel Leo at his back, defending him, letting him risk a more risky pass.
The clock had to be dangerously low now and Finn’s head ached with how he was squeezing his eyes shut, but he couldn’t help it. He was so tired.
Knocked away by Knut, hard shot by Trouba—
“Good.” Finn whispered, thumb nail between his teeth. “Good, Le…”
What a take away by Black and he’s going—Lupin catches up with him and it’s two on one, Black and Lupin against Luke Deveaux—Black sends it over to Lupin, Lupin back to Black, and a third time—GOAL! Goal! Goal!
Finn shouted. There weren’t any words in it, but a sheer sound of relief and joy.
Lupin with the hat trick! Hat trick! With twelve seconds on the clock! Twelve seconds! Three goals all scored within—Jesus, how long?—that’s insane, that is just magnificent, insane—
~
Remus heard the crowd. Deep, collective—for a split second, he thought they were booing. But then he pieced it together, right as Sirius slammed into his chest and shouted right in his ear. Not boos.
Loops. 
~
My God, Remus Lupin is on fire tonight. God, what a shot! What a shot, this place is going wild. This place is on its feet because the Lions are going to a game seven. I repeat, the Gryffindor Lions are taking the New York Rangers to a game seven—
~
Long, drawn out, Loops and then reorganizing into a chant, and then dissolving into cheers. Hats showered them. Completely, it felt like. Raining, pouring, drenching the ice in hats. So many Remus wondered how all of them made it to the ice. He couldn’t stop laughing. He thought maybe he was crying a little.
“Game winner!” Thomas was shouting. “Game fucking winner, fucking winner, fucking natty hatty, oh fuck, Remus!”
“Jesus, what’s in your water, Lupin!” Percy Marshall shouted from near Saint’s goal.
He just looked up at Sirius. Sirius laughed and then ducked down and kissed Remus’ cheek—or tried, but it was really just their visors knocking together. “I love you. I love you, love you, I love you so much—”
“Julian,” Remus said. “You think Jules saw?”
Sirius just pressed their visors together, while Thomas all but crowed to the sky. “Yeah, baby, Jules saw.”
Remus looked up towards the Lions box as he skated towards the bench, as he skated down the line tapping gloves. He couldn’t see much, but he would have been able to pick out that wildly jumping figure any place, any time.
~
Logan went looking for Cassie. He wouldn’t deny it. He smoothed his wet hair back from his face and tugged at his tie. He smiled shakily at a few members of the press who passed him on their way to the pressroom to write their stories. Post-game interviews had been rough. You guys could have had it, what will you do differently to pull through next game?
It was a fairly normal question. Definitely expected. The hard part, Logan guessed, was answering it truthfully—even to himself. Pulling through meant taking the Lions out, and Logan couldn’t think about that too hard.
But even worse: You seemed to have…bad puck luck when Knut came into goal. What do you think happened?
Logan could have punched the guy who asked that. He’d stared at him hard enough to make him take a step back anyway.
“Tremzy!”
Logan turned fast. Katie, flying towards him full-force, in Rangers blue with TREMBLAY on her back. Pascal had sent him the video—Katie bawling her eyes out and refusing to move until the removed her father’s jersey and gave her a Tremblay one.
Pascal wasn’t too far behind her and grinned as Logan caught Katie up in his arms.
“Salut, Petit. Oh, what are you wearing?” Logan propped her on his hip and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Is that all for me?”
She patted his tie. “You didn’t win. Papa won.”
“C’est une tragédie, apparently,” Pascal said. “We cannot go home until she finds you, you know.”
“Non, me neither.” Logan smiled at him and tilted his and Katie’s heads together. He switched to French. “I need my little cabbage fix before dinner…”
Katie shrieked out a laugh, knowing what was coming, and Logan dipped her upside down to kiss her cheek with nom noises before bringing her upright again.
“Didn’t you like the Lions hat trick? All the hats on the ice.”
Katie shook her head, brandishing the wrist with her charm bracelet at him like a sword. “Non. I like when you get goals.”
“Ouch,” Pascal said wryly.
Katie put a hand on top of Logan’s head. “Is Harzy okay?”
“Ouais,” Logan said. “He’s doing much better. He misses you.”
“Where’s Leo?”
“I’m going to find him right now.”
She squished Logan’s cheeks between her small palms. “Does he have banana bread?”
“Not with him, I don’t think.”
Katie frowned. “Oh.” Then, she promptly squeezed her arms around his neck and put her head on his shoulder. “I love you.”
“Aw,” Logan said. “I love you, too.”
Pascal mouthed, she’s going to fall asleep, and Logan nodded, half-sure that she already was. He put a hand on her back. She was so warm, so delicate in his arms. He used to be afraid of that, holding onto her too hard. “Past your bedtime, hm?”
They stood silently in the hallway together for a moment. Logan thought of the warm living room at the Dumais house. The boys muting their video game on the TV. Katie sleeping against his chest. Noelle passing him embroidery floss colors to pick out so she could make him a bracelet.
“I don’t think I’ll get used to seeing you in blue,” Pascal said softly, stroking back Katie’s hair, then, after a moment of hesitation, mussing Logan’s gently.
“Me neither,” Logan replied roughly. God, how many homes could one person be homesick for at once?
“No matter what happens next game,” Pascal said. “We love you. You know that, right?”
“Ouais.”
“You won’t beat yourself up.”
“Non.” He sighed. “Well, not too bad. I’m worried about Leo.” He sighed. He had to tell someone. “It’s been hard. This, Finn, Kasey…”
“Archer,” Pascal finished hesitantly.
“Logan?” said a voice.
Logan looked to see Cassie at the other end of the hallway. She gave him a small wave, looking uncertain as to whether she should approach or not.
“Ah,” Pascal said. “I thought you knew her.”
“Quoi.” He smiled back at her, held up a finger. One second.
“You looked, ah, how did Sirius put it…Freaked.”
“I’m not.”
“Here,” Pascal said, reaching out for Katie.
“Wait, wait, wait—” Logan began to say, but Pascal just arched a brow.
“You do not need to hold my daughter for every tough conversation you have.”
Logan rolled his eyes, but eased the sleepy Katie into her father’s arms.
“Go talk to a girl. That can’t be too difficult for you.”
“Dumo.”
Pascal just smiled. “Oh, and guess what?”
Logan sighed. His arms felt cold and too light without Katie in them. “What?”
“Leo is going to be okay. You three are going to be fine.”
Pascal touched Logan’s cheek briefly, then turned away, murmuring softly to Katie.
~
“Remus!”
Remus dropped everything he was holding—his glove, a roll of tape, a tennis ball, and his mouth guard—to turn around and get a stumble-inducing hug by his little brother.
“Did you get any of the hats!” Julian asked. “Oh my God!”
“I think they’re in a bunch of buckets somewhere,” Remus said, and held on tighter even when Jules made to pull back. “No, one more second.”
“I have to see Sirius, too!”
“He didn’t get a hat trick.” Remus squeezed Julian until he gasped for air.
“Death by hug,” Julian coughed out, but he squeezed Remus just as tightly back. “It was so cool, Re.”
“Thanks. It felt pretty cool.” He put his hands on Julian’s shoulders and pulled back. “I can get you a hat if you want a hat. Can’t promise to know whose head it was on, though.”
Julian laughed. “I don’t need a hat.” Remus still sort of wanted to get him a hat. He wanted to get Julian anything he could ever possibly want.
Julian shook Remus lightly by his shoulder pads. “Game seven! Did you always think you were going to go to a game seven!”
Remus shrugged, patting his stall for Julian to sit in. “I don’t know if Captain Superstitious over here would have allowed such a thought to cross my mind.”
“Wow,” Sirius said, stripping off his chest pads and grabbing his towel for a shower. “You make me sound insane.”
Julian and Remus shared a look.
“You might be a little.” Julian pinched his fingers. “Tiny bit insane.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but tussled Julian’s hair before walking away.
“Hey.” Remus nudged his his foot against Julian’s shin. “You okay here for a second if I shower so we can all get some ice cream before it’s after midnight?”
Julian’s eyes lit up—either at the mention of ice cream or at the prospect of being left to his own devices in the locker room.
“Oh, I’ve got him,” Thomas said. He was wearing his suit pants and shrugging on a white button down. “Noelle chose to go see the Rangers so I, too, am abandoned.”
“Oh my God,” Jackson said from beside him. “She said she’d be back in two minutes after seeing her loser brother.”
“Watch it,” Leo called, passing by.
“Two whole minutes.” Thomas tisked. “Nado, I don’t know what to do with myself without that girl around anymore. Copy?”
“Good luck,” Remus said to Julian, and stripped off his own padding to head to the showers.
James was singing—horribly—but Sirius had secured them the two corner showers. Remus’ favorite. The hot water felt good, but Sirius’ gaze on him felt better. Remus smiled as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back to wash his hair.
“I can feel you thinking,” Remus said.
“If we were alone, you could feel—”
“Oh I’m sure.”
“Well, I was thinking about taking you into another private corner but your little brother was looking at me.”
Remus reached for the shampoo. “This is true.” He looked over his shoulder. “I don’t see him anywhere now.”
Sirius sent a pointed look at James and the few other of their teammates showering around them.
“What?” Remus said with a grin. “I just want a kiss.”
Sirius watched him for a moment, and Remus let himself admire the way the water made his dark hair and eyelashes ever darker. The way the droplets made his tan skin shine. Finally, Sirius went so far as to settle a hand on Remus’ bare, wet hip, and kissed his cheek.
“I love you,” Sirius whispered against Remus’ skin.
“I love you, too.”
“The noodles!” Evgeni shouted, ducking beneath a shower head across the room.
“He means canoodle,” Jackson said.
Sirius ignored them. “I want to re-watch that game.”
“Is that all?”
“No. It’ll never be all with you. I’ll always want you more.” Another soft kiss to his temple. “And more, and more.”
~
“You fucker,” Alex said into his phone, wedged between his shoulder and ear as he tied his dress shoes.
“Ha-ha,” Finn replied. “It was all me.”
“Oh, we’ll get your boys next game.” Alex said.
“Will you now?” Finn said. “You sure about that?”
“Pretty damn sure, I’d say. Lupin can’t be that hot every night.”
“Ha, but Sirius Black can.”
“Bleh.” Alex straighten with a sigh. “I hate how true that is.”
“Hey, Al?”
Alex took his phone, switching ears. “Yup?”
There was a bit of a pause, long enough that Alex looked at the screen to make sure that Finn was still there. It made him nearly miss his first couple words.
“If you can,” Finn’s voice said. “Try not to let Lo take any winning shots against Leo.”
Alex’s smile dimmed. His eyes moved over to Kasey, who was leaning against the wall through the locker room doorway with Natalie, waiting for him. She said something with a smile and he nodded in his soft way, playing with the diamond ring on her finger.
“It’ll hurt them both, I think,” Finn finished softly. “Maybe ask Deveaux, too. If you can.”
“I don’t know if I can help that, Finn,” Alex said.
“I know.” Finn’s sigh crackled like wind. “I know. Yeah, I know.”
“Hey,” Alex said. “But I love you, little Fish.”
There was a beat of silence. “All right, I’ll let that slide just this once.”
Alex smiled.
“Love you, too.”
~
“Hi,” Cassie said.
Logan’s words got stuck for a second.
She had taken her suit jacket off and her white shirt underneath was crisp and clean. Logan remembered her in low tank-tops and knee-high boots. His Harvard sweatshirts and tiny cotton shorts, stretching in his bed and going to his window to check if it was raining. Yes, he had loved Finn for most of their time together, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t appreciated Cassie. She was kind and fun and, God, had she ever taught him what he liked. She had been a little wild like that. He had a flash of a steamed up car window, her uneven breathing against his cheek, her hand fisting the hair at the back of his neck.
“I…hi.”
She smiled, then shrugged and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hi.”
He laughed. “Hi.” She felt the same and he automatically squeezed her waist like he used to. “I—sorry about—I mean on the bench.” They pulled apart. “I was—I wasn’t expecting—”
“No, that’s so on me, I didn’t give you, like, any warning. This is kind of a new promotion for me. I mean, not kind of.” She rolled her eyes, laughing. “It is.”
“Congrats.”
“Thanks.”
“Well—wow, I have to tell Finn.”
“Oh, Finn. I always adored him.”
“He’s good. Uh and, oh, Will and Percy are here, did you…”
“Saw them on the bench, but haven’t gotten to say hi yet.” She tilted her head, teasing. “Didn’t think I was just waiting for you, did you?”
Logan laughed. “Uh, non, definitely not.”
“But it is really good to see you. Really, really good. Seriously, though, is Finn doing okay? That was really hard footage to watch.”
Try being there. “Yeah. He’s—he’s better. He’s getting better. He might be at the next game in New York, if he gets cleared. Not dressed, but, still. Not having to sit in the dark.”
“Right.” Cassie nodded sympathetically. “God, that happened to him in college, didn’t it?”
Twice. Logan nodded. He didn’t expect her to remember. They’d been broken up by the second.
“Well, then I hope I get to say hi.”
Logan wasn’t sure how to talk about Finn with Cassie. She’d broken up with him over Finn, even though she hadn’t known it was Finn at the time. She’d thought it was another girl, just someone else taking up Logan’s attention. By the conflicted look on her face, it looked like she knew now.
“Um.” Cassie tucked her hair behind her ears then crossed her arms. “Listen. This is probably not the time and definitely not the place but I’m not sure—I kind of just have to say this if you don’t mind.” She glanced down the hallway, but they were alone. “I think I was kind of…I know I was hard on you when we broke up…”
Logan shook his head. He swallowed, trying to force the words out quickly. “Non. Non, I don’t think you were hard on me. If anyone was hard on someone, it was me on you. I mean…now you know that…that Finn and I?”
“Were you together then?” she asked, then her eyes widened. “God. No. Jesus, you don’t have to tell me that. That was so rude, wow. I’m sorry.” She laughed a little. “We don’t see each other for years and—”
“We weren’t,” Logan said, but then it was his turn to laugh a bit. “Well—Merde. I mean. We were… We loved each other then. But we…” How to even say it? “We thought we couldn’t.” No, that wasn’t it. “I thought we couldn’t.”
“You seriously don’t owe me an explanation,” Cassie said. “Logan, I was trying to apologize. The second I heard about you and Finn—I mean, I think I just saw a photo of you two on Twitter or something, or Instagram?—but I remembered our fight like it was yesterday and…”
“You thought I was cheating on you. And in a lot of ways you were right. You had ever right to be mad at me.”
“I…I know that now. But I loved you, and I shouldn’t have said all those horrible things.” She let out a breath. “I didn’t mean them. It’s just that I really, really loved you.”
Logan wouldn’t have said any of his heart still belonged to Cassie, but right then it felt like part of it might, in some way. It broke all over again for the two of them. For the quiet mornings and for looking up into the bleachers at games and seeing her there, wearing his sweater. For all the times she’d gone quiet and let him think about what he wanted to say, when she was always so bright and sudden for everyone else.
“Anyway,” she sighed. “I just didn’t know when I would see you again and, you know, knock on wood you’ll be too busy celebrating next game, and I wanted to say that I’m sorry. And that I’m happy for you. You and Finn.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Logan said. “I didn’t deserve you. I was trying to figure me out and…and I feel like I used you but, for the record, I did love you, too. Maybe not like you loved me, but.”
Cassie smiled. “Yeah?”
Logan smiled back. “Ouais.”
“Oh.” Cassie shook her head fondly. “God, I missed your French.”
Logan was laughing when he heard Leo’s voice from behind him.
“Lo?”
Logan turned and found him standing there, handsome in his navy suit. He looked between them hesitantly.
“Le,” Logan held out a hand to him. “Soleil, this is Cassie. Cas, this is my boyfriend, Leo.”
Cassie smiled, then looked alarmed, then smiled again. “Uh. Wait. Um. I mean, hi.”
“There’s two of them,” Logan said and took Leo’s hand. “Finn. Leo.”
“Two?”
“Two.”
Cassie looked between them for a moment, then shrugged. “Jesus, I can’t even find one. You were so great in the third, Leo, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh,” Leo said, a little dazed. Logan tried not to watch too closely as Leo looked Cassie up and down. “Well, thanks, pleasure to meet you. How do you two…”
Logan squeezed Leo’s fingers. “Cas and I were at school together—we…well, we…”
“Dated,” Cassie finished for him with a grin. “For a little while. But then again, I never got called the sun by this one so who’s counting it really.”
Leo looked down at Logan and Logan was so proud of the happy look in those blue eyes he could have kissed him. “No?”
“Nope,” Cassie said. “But I can see why you do.”
“Casss-ieee,” came Percy’s voice from behind them, and then the thump of him running down the hall. He didn’t even hesitate, not even when it had been years, before scooping her up in a hug. She shrieked, but let him spin her once and press a kiss to her cheek.
“Oh my God, will you not ever grow up Percy Marshall?”
Percy just grinned at her. His suit was wrinkled, as usual, and he towered over her, but he looked down at her smile like he was looking up to the blue sky. “Not a chance, Cassie Baker. Not with you to impress.”
“It’s been too long since I’ve been subjected to your flirting.”
“Well.” Percy released her and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Who knows. Maybe I really mean it this time.”
Logan felt Leo nudged him, hip against hip, and Logan leaned his head against his shoulder.
“Home?” Leo whispered.
“Ouais.”
Logan thwacked Percy upside the head as they passed by. “See you next game, Cas?”
“Count on it,” Cassie called, and when she wasn’t looking, Percy mouthed Cassie fucking Baker to him over her shoulder with a lovesick expression on his face.
“So, you dated her,” Leo said. He was trying very hard not to smile.
“Oasis,” Logan said. “But…” He reached up as they walked and traced a blond wave of Leo’s hair, then the gray streak. “I was obviously looking for you.”
“You know Hannah looks just like you, right?”
“What? Non.”
Leo laughed. “Logan Tremblay. Look alive, hot stuff—oh.” Leo’s phone pinged. “Gee, wonder who that could be.”
Please come home I talking to myself (sent with Siri)
Also the doctor is emailed I clear for traveled with to you so New York! Sirius send happy emoji no smile emoji no send smile (sent with Siri)
Leo snorted, Logan let out a loud laugh, then they had to take a minute, leaning against each other with silent laughter.
“What’s wrong with you two?” Remus asked as he passed by with Sirius and Julian.
“Sirius,” Logan gasped. “Send smile emoji.”
Leo crouched, hiding his face against Logan’s hip as his shoulders shook.
Sirius just shook his head and tugged on Remus’ hand. “You need to go home.”
“Send smile emoji!” Logan shouted after him.
Sirius just looked back at him. “What the fuck, Tremz.”
“I’ve got him,” Leo laughed, wrapping an arm around Logan’s shoulder. “C’mon, Harz is talking to himself, we better go save him.”
“He always talks to himself.”
“I don’t think he knows that.”
Leo just hummed in agreement. “She seemed nice.”
“She is,” Logan said.
“This is the girl you mean when you say college girlfriend, right?”
“Mhm,” Logan nodded, and took Leo’s hand again as they walked into the stairwell that led to the parking lot. It smelled like summer. Heat and humidity. Leo stripped off his suit jacket to drive and threw it in the back seat with their bags.
When they were turning the engine on, Logan put a hand over Leo’s. “Le.”
Leo looked up from adjusting his mirrors.
Logan took a breath. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to talk it all through, but maybe it would get easier. Maybe. And he at least had the short drive home to start. “Want me to tell you about it?” Logan asked softly. “Cassie.”
Leo’s lips parted, surprised. His hair was darker, the ends starting to dry from his own shower. He had taken his tie off, too, and his shirt was open at the neck. Logan reached out and touched the indent of the fleur-de-lis necklace beneath his shirt. It had been passed back and forth between them— Finn had been wearing it for a few days there when he was mostly just sleeping and in pain, but Logan supposed at some point, Finn had slipped it over Leo’s neck again.
“Yeah,” Leo said softly. “I’d like that.”
Logan leaned back in his seat as Leo pulled out of their spot. “I met her my very first night as a Freshman. I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t even have bed sheets. I had met Fish, là, twenty minutes maybe before. I scared the hell out of him in our room. But you know that, anyway, Cassie saved me from sitting by myself all night…”
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yaut-jaknowit · 11 months
Text
Mating Season Ends
Pairing: We'ar-ow (Female Yautja) x GN!Reader
Word Count: 3359
Summary: After lasting about 2 weeks, mating season ends and the ship returns to normal. Dwainet didn't get a single female. You begin to learn the life that We'ar-ow leads and all that consists within in it.
Author Note: Slowly working at this while getting to requests, promise! I had to think about how I was going to go along with this story. I think I have it down, we'll see it. Also, I haven't forgotten about the 1k drawing. I'm only four away currently so we'll seeeee
Masterlist
Ao3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17
There’s a smirk among We’ar-ow’s face. Said Yautja is sat upon a single seat chair in her living room, tablet in her grasp. Though, she hadn’t forced you to be out here with her, your room was starting to get beyond boring of just standing there and doing nothing. Instead, you’ve ventured out and explored what was available to you.
A watchful eye was kept on her as you moved around, like a fearful animal ensuring you didn’t anger her. You knew, despite her gaze on the device, she also observed you. Always. You stopped and peered over at the pink Yautja, head slightly tilted. She doesn’t often let loose any expressions but the fact she had a full grin peeked your interest. Yet, you didn’t dare raise a question.
Right as you were about to continue exploring, We’ar-ow grunted. “Do not be afraid to ask a question, pet,” she said, eyes still on the tablet. You tensed up and worried at your bottom lip. “Speak.”
You groaned lowly. “Why are you smirking?” you brought up the question rolling around your mind. Her upper mandibles twitched, clicking against the bottoms ones. You stayed in the same spot by a room you’ve never been in before.
“That male you mated with.” Dwainet. You slightly flinch as his words rang in your mind. “The mating season ends today. Not a single female reported mating with him.” Reported? They listed that shit?! By god’s grace… all of this was so strange and kind of disgusting to be honest. Why would you want someone to know who you… ehm, had sex with?
Disgust fell over your face. “Why do you know this?” you asked another question, feeling uncomfortable about the conversation.
We’ar-ow raised her device slightly. “We have everything charted. It’s a way to ensure inbreeding does not occur or any diseases appear, we are able to track it down to whom.” Okay… now that made more sense. Still though, you didn’t want your dirty laundry to be aired. “I expected no one to mate with his disloyal ass. I like to know if it was true.”
Her words from when she bested Dwainet rung inside of her head. Right. Since he committed a low crime, not a single female would let them mate with her. Something you also took joy in, just less noticeable. You cleared your throat and softly nodded your head. “That’s… that’s good to know,” you spoke and leaned against the wall close by.
A hum filled the tense air. “Yes. Are you pleased?” Now, your brows furrowed at her words. Why would she care? You just shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly to answer her question. “You still care,” it was more of a statement than a question.
Deep down, you do. You still do. Your heart continuously ached at the heartbreak but he was your first love, true love at first sight. As stupid as the whole situation was, you still cared about the person who smashed your heart without any remorse. Look at you now: a pet to the Monarch of an alien clan. How your world had turned upside down.
“Yes,” you hissed out and stared down at the ground. “I do, okay?”
The couch groaned underneath her as she got up. Instantly, your head whipped up and watched as she made her way over to you. Everything just froze in your mind again, unable to think of way to escape or anything of the sort.
As she stopped before you, she reached out with her hand cupped your chin. Your first reaction was to flinch, but her touch was soft. “Why?” she demanded and tilted your head up to look her in the eye.
A defensive streak rose inside of you. Why did she have to question everything you did? “He was my first love. It felt like true love at first sight,” I said and tried to keep a neutral expression on my face. I didn’t need her to be anger at anything I said.
She hummed once more. A few muscles on your face twitched. Her thumbed swiped along your cheek and drew your attention to something shining on the finger. A tear. You were crying. Why? To save what left over dignity, you tore your head from her grasp. There wasn’t anywhere else to go though so you just stayed against the wall, arms crossed.
“Oomans are so foolish.” You curled more in on yourself. “Love at first sight? There’s no such thing. It is something to nurture and help flourish.” If you had it in you, you would’ve barked out a laugh. As if she or her kind knew of care and kindness.
Rough around the edges. The inside, worse. Just a cactus where their hearts should be. Ugly, heartless, and homewrecker. You kept a heady stare on the floor and grumbled out inaudible words. Not that she would care.
All you wanted was to go home! Fresh, hot tears steered down the lengths of your cheeks and darkened the cloth of your shirt. You bit your tongue; silence was the best answer to any argument. Because it stopped them. She can keep stating her case, breaking your already shattered heart. Here you are, staying quiet and knowing everything she said was the truth. You were foolish and stupid. Look where it got you.
A warm hand tipped your head back up to be face to face with We’ar-ow once more. Your gaze still cast downwards, no matter what she did. The Yautja sighed, a rough sound on your ears, and dropped her head. Then picked her massive head back up to look at you. Her pupils boring an unnecessary hole into you. “I see you have come to realize the truth.”
And the truth hurt. Your bottom lip wobbled.
“That male never cared about you. Not truly. Not the way you wanted. You were something new to his young mind, a new toy if you must. The novelty worn off when realized a ooman mate will diminish his chances of producing a strong bloodline.” Every single word of hers was a gut wrenching, heart tearing, punch to where it hurts most.
Your shoulders trembling at the first sob. Once the damn broke, it was hard to stop. The stress of it all was caving in on you after one beam fell. Your knees gave out and forcing you to drop to the ground. From there, you sobbed your heart out in front of someone you didn’t trust. You backed yourself against the wall and curled as tightly into a ball that was possible.
We’ar-ow stood tall above you, unsure on what to do, arms limp at her sides. Slowly, as if she was hunting, she lowered herself to her haunches, still towering in height and size.
“I wa-was nothing more, more than a play, plaything to him!” you cried into your thighs, body shaking with each pathetic weep. That year with him meant nothing! Nothing to him. While it was thought to be the best time of your life… you were only blinded by the lies and façade.
Coarse, rough skin petted the top of your head and ran down to the base of your neck. You were shocked out of your cryfest as the pain of the mark being touched and hissed. In reaction, you snapped your head up and pinned the limb against the wall. But, that caused it to hurt worse. You jerked away from the wall and reached back to gentle poke at the now blazing mark.
In a whirlwind of emotions and unstable mindset, you snapped at We’ar-ow. “Why did you fucking touch it?!” The mark had scabbed over during the healing process but the skin around it was still sensitive and sore. “You don’t know shit!”
She just sat there, on her haunches, only raising a singular brow at you. “I do not?” she questioned lowly, face revealing nothing of her emotions. You didn’t know what to be more scared after the raging emotions died. Unable to know what she was feeling or how calm those three words came out. You swallowed thickly and curled back into a frightful ball. Maybe she’ll just get this over with and kill you.
Something warm rested under your jaw and forced it up once more. But you don’t look the predator in the eye. That. That is a death sentence. “Pet, I asked you a question.” Again!? Seriously? You could just feel the need to sob your heart out all over again. Why does she keep calling you that? Why not your name? Or something more human than ‘pet’?
For all the energy you had left, you simply just nodded your head. We’ar-ow did not understand your feelings for Dwainet. She never will.
The Yautja simply made a ‘hmpf’ sound and barely nodded her head in thought. “Why do you think that?” she asked. Another question to force you to respond, in any way. Your eyes clenched shut and pushed out any leftover tears. Then, you gulped and took a deep breath.
“I’ve been around your kind long enough. You are a rude, inconceivable species with not a single centimeter of space for love. You, out of everyone, don’t know a single thing about my situation!” Your voice grew in volume the longer you talked. Not that you meant for that to happen.
With her long tongue, the pink Yautja was able to click her tongue and shook her head. The hand under your chin slid against your skin to rest upon your cheek this time. “When I had first found you, my dear ooman, you were a mess of emotions and sorrow. That tells me enough. My age comes into play next. I’m older than you think, gaining experience through my years. I do understand, ooman.”
You snorted through your nose and glared from underneath your brows up at her. We’ar-ow leaned in close, enough for her breath to fan across your wet face. “Why do you think I’ve taken you in as my pet?” Your body tensed, frozen in thought before your shoulders shrugged.
One of her upper mandibles lifted. Her long, pink tongue slithered out and licked up a stripe of your salty tears. “You’ll find out in time.” You jerked your head back only to smack it against the wall behind you, upper lip curling up. We’ar-ow chuckled.
Without a word, you silently pouted and stayed on the ground. We’ar-ow stood back up and offered a hand to you. “Come along, pet.” You scowled at the name but took up on her offer. Just using a sliver of her strength, she pulls you up to your feet. You were yanked up, not expecting the sudden strength or move. The action caused you to bump into her.
One of her arms settled between your shoulder blades and held you steady against the warmth of her body. Blazing heat flashed across your cheeks and raced up to the tips of your ears. You swallowed thickly, entirely form tense and unwilling to move. Neither did she.
The entire time, her gaze was tilted down at you. An alien grin growing on her mandibles, minute. In the state of shock, you didn’t even have time to see it on her features. It was gone as you took all the space you could away from her, back against the wall once more. You took a deep breath in, cleared your throat, and finally looked the predator in the eye. “Where are we going?” you spoke, voice different than before.
We’ar-ow let her arm fall limp to at her side, her eyes still trained on your meek, nervous form. “Out. I have more things to finish before the end of the cycle,” she explained, observed you for a few extra seconds before turning about face and heading towards the door. A scowl fell upon your features at the notion of going out there once more. Paraded as her damn pet.
From the safety of being behind her, you glared fiery daggers at the Yautja and wished you could throttle her. Then, you took the needed steps to catch up to We’ar-ow. The two of you were out the door and shortly on your way to wherever.
The halls weren’t overflowing with the aliens. Today seemed to have calmed down after the season had ended officially. Everyone tired out after the last two weeks had everyone’s hormones thrown into a whirlwind. One that got you caught up in this mess of trouble and rage.
During the entirety of her strutting, you promptly stayed at her six and used her shadows to hide. Pathetic, even with how little Yautjas there were roaming. After everything that has occurred, staying as safe as possible was a necessity to your survival. You don’t know who will challenge the Monarch, as stupid as they would be, for your head. Oomans aren’t well liked upon the predatory species as you’ve come to learn. But here you were, in the lions den with the leader of tribe as your protector. All it takes is one person…
A familiar color caught your eye, feet faulting for a couple of seconds. You accidentally trip over air, barely saving yourself an embarrassing face plant in front of everyone… including Dwainet. Without truly thinking about it, you rushed to catch up once more to the pink Yautja. Your eyes prompt finding the dark metal grey floors far more interesting than the burning rage glare pinned on you.
Cliché enough but if looks could kill, the heat from his gaze would burn hotter than a sun. Death, instantaneously.
One look couldn’t be helped. Eyes flickering for just a millisecond, one too long. You took note that his eyes weren’t on your own. Instead… a little lower, towards your neck. Instinctively, you reached up to touch at the warm leather wrapped peacefully there. A constant reminder to who owned you. If looks could kill… We’ar-ow would be thrown out an airlock and forgotten about.
After that shorter, hair-raising encounter, you stuck to We’ar-ow’s backside like glue. The Yautja didn’t need a leash to keep you this close to her. Just straight terror of what your ex-lover might do to you. Especially learn what had happened to him. He had to be seething from the limited knowledge you had about his species.
The hallway you were taking seemed familiar. Somewhat at least. You scrapped through your mind to remember where this was leading you. Before you had a chance, We’ar-ow stopped in front of a door and imputed a code. Your eyes snapped to her movement, only catching the last three pushes. Three, not bad out of the six you believed was the length of her code.
It opened up to reveal the grand throne room. We’ar-ow marched into the room at her normal strutting pace. Once more, you were left to scramble after her. The Monarch took each step up to the throne chair with pride. You watched as the calm, relaxed Yautja morphed into the leader of her clan. Her face no longer as causal, eyes slightly hooded over as she looked down on the empty space before her.
On the other hand, you went to the spot you had sat at before. Only to notice a soft, plush cushion in place. Despite her gaze on the purple carpet before her, you looked over at her. You were hesitant to sit down on the pillow, unsure if this was the purpose of it. Or something to taunt you with.
A subtle nod came from the Yautja. You released the breath you were holding and thanked to whatever god could hear you for this offering before sitting down.
Instead of the harsh, back breaking metal that once met your bottom, the cushion offered support and relief. You sat easily on the large pillow and crossed your legs, knees bent to sit comfortably. It was definitely an upgrade compared to last time. All you had to do now was somehow find a way to entertain yourself for the time being. Unfortunately.
Yet, something was thrusted into your vision. Your head jerked back, nearly falling backwards and stared at what looked to be a tablet. We’ar-ow held it out, bright iris peering at you from the corner of her eye.
When you didn’t grab it in a reasonable amount of time, she moved it closer to while wiggling it as well. Timidly, you reached out and took the device from her. “Thanks,” you mumbled and inspected the tablet. It wasn’t anything fancy or spectacular but tapping the screen caused it to light up.
From there, you dove more into finding what the item could do in your favor. Plowing through time without even noticing.
It wasn’t until a foot was nudging against your numb legs you uncurled from your shrimp position. We’ar-ow stood before you, regel as ever. You blinked a few times before catching onto what she wants from you. Shutting off the screen and holding the tablet to your chest, you unsteadily got up, legs barely listening to your command.
Like clockwork, the duo had returned back to We’ar-ow’s room. The Yautja walked into the kitchen and sifted through things to gather a couple of items. The entire time, you observed her movements, taking notice how she carries herself while in the privacy of her quarters. Different, relax, causal.
“Are you hungry?” We’ar-ow’s words break you from your thoughts. You shook your head to clear any lingering thoughts.
“Y-yeah, a little,” you voiced and stepped into the living room. Just enough space for We’ar-ow and limited guests if she invites any over. That made you question internally if the Yautja had anything close to a friend. The society of her species highly varies from your own. Was there friendship? Was there relationships? Was there love?
No. There couldn’t be. Not after Dwainet. He taught you his kind was built for love. Just a species morphed to kill. Kill everything in their path, even those who cared about them.
You found yourself settling down on a single person seat that easily engulfed your human body. The tablet was laid comfortably in your lap as you continued to play, mess with it if you must. The things you learned currently were far more helpful than ever.
A map, cameras. All that was needed to show you where their ships were docked, where there was airlocks, emergency escape pods. Everything. From the months you projected to surviving on this ship suddenly turned to days, weeks at most. Freedom was in sight. You could see the light at the end of the tunnel. And it was beautiful.
A plate of assorted fruits/vegetables was placed on the side tablet next to you. We’ar-ow posted her frame to lean against the armrest and peered over you. “Does this give enrichment?” The translator struggled for a moment to find the right word for last part of her sentence.
Nonverbally, you dipped your head as you used an app of sorts to access the internet. Their internet. Strings of Yautja covered the screen, nothing legible. The implant translator only worked with speech, not text. You haven’t found a way to change the language. If there was a way to switch to English…
The Yautja hummed before leaning, showering you in her body heat and pressing a couple of buttons on the screen. Then, voila! Magic. Yautja changed to English in a blink of an eye. “I swear… that male failed you more ways than just the five I count.”
“I have the translator implanted,” you retorted mindlessly and explored the new mode revealed to you. We’ar-ow scoffed once more and used a sharp nail to tap at mentioned device.
“My point still stands.” How much you believe that? Zero. As you’ve come to learn quickly, there was no arguing with her. Instead, you just stayed glued to the tablet and partially ignoring the huge Yautja next to you.
Said predator finally stalked off after a few minutes of watching you. Thankfully. Now, it was time to see what their internet consisted of.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17
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l4long-winded · 8 months
Text
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o.s. the plan mikey never got to
summary: you come across a picture of one of mikey's family members. he has to be careful not to think too much about carmen (implied carmen berzatto x afab!reader)
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reflection: i had this idea in my head for a while now. like, imagine mikey wanting you and carmen to get together after he gets to know you? do you know how heartbreaking that would be? anyhow, i am taking requests if anyone is interested. please enjoy and feedback is always appreciated!
warnings: angst, depression, overthinking, avoidance, commentary on mental health, implied carmy x reader, carmen is not in this, this is probably set before the fishes episode in season 2, cursing, somewhat sad ending (please let me know if there are other warnings i need to add)
word count: 1,190
( this work has been cross-posted to ao3 )
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“Who’s this?” You ask, raising the picture frame in your hand up for Mikey to see. He squints where he stands, his hands currently preoccupied with rubbing seasoning onto the rack of ribs in front of him. He recognizes the photo from the frame alone, dipping his head down to turn his attention to the meat instead of lingering his gaze for too long across the image.
“My brother Carmen,” he says, his tone short. It’s easier to attempt cutting that thread before it starts. He doesn’t blame you for your curiosity since you’re new to the Beef and therefore new to his family, but he’s not in the mood to discuss his brother at the moment. Truthfully, his mood’s allowed few discussions about anything of value for a long time, but he can’t dwell on it. He has over ten mouths to feed, the barbecue he’s hosting being his main priority.
As he washes his hands free of the paste constructed of seasonings and the sticky binder he used, he hears you speak again.
“He’s kinda cute,” you remark.
Mikey haphazardly dries his hands on his shirt, the sentence pulling a chuckle from the back of his throat. He looks at you properly, catching sight of how you’re still closely examining the picture. Before he can think about his strained sibling relationship, he notices how a light smile forms on your lips. You’re a hard worker and you learn relatively fast. He didn’t invite you here because he didn’t think you weren’t capable or competent. On the contrary, Mikey’s observed the twitch in your hands as you cut vegetables, how you slowly nod when he explains a recipe, and how you stay even after closing to take advantage of the available equipment under the guise of making conversation. Mikey knows the potential that seeps off you because he’s seen it before, he just didn’t know what point of reference he had in mind.
That is until he sees you nursing a picture of his brother. That’s right. That’s what it is. You remind him of Carmy. All earnestness in the kitchen, quiet but witty, and hankering on some underlying compassion that neither of you express in words, but through whatever it is you’re putting together in a culinary environment. You’re missing the temper, but Mikey isn’t the kind of guy to try and draw that out of you. The Bear will take care of reminding Mikey of it when he eventually comes home again.
“Think so? I have to warn you, he can be an asshole,” Mikey discards the ribs in favor of sauntering to where you are, grasping the photo out of your hands. He swallows thickly as he creates eye contact with picture-Carmy, the memory of the day coming back to him like a bad show tune.
“That’s what all siblings say. Tell me about him? I only knew you had a sister,” you encourage, leaning your lower back into the sofa behind you. Mikey sighs, scratching the back of his head and then the beard growing on his face. The point of shaving’s become lost to him.
“Uh, yeah,” he turns the frame back and forth in one hand, “we took this after we went to the Pier. He was being… he was being Carmy. Didn’t want the hassle of posing and holding still, had to talk him into it. Ma wanted a recent picture since his stubborn ass usually avoids them,” Mikey explains with a shrug of his broad shoulders. He places the picture frame back where you found it, taking a spot next to you after that. He mimics how you’re crossing your arms to your chest, the silence you fall into being a signal for him to continue talking.
“Carmen’s smart. Kid’s talented in a lot of ways. I’ve always known that, and now, he’s proving it to every fancy shmancy chef out there. He’s becoming what some people can only dream of,” Mikey says thoughtfully.
“Where is he?” You question. Mikey looks at the floor. Carmen’s been gone for a long time. Too long. But it’s better this way. Mikey believes it to be.
“Copenhagen. Think he likes it there more than he likes it here,” Mikey jokes, shaking his head back and forth. You don’t laugh, much to his dismay. He sees you staring at him out of the corner of his eye.
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
Isn’t it, though? Carmen hasn’t been home in ages, and honestly, Mikey doesn’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s a really good thing, actually. Chicago isn’t the place someone goes to fulfill all their dreams and all their inherent capabilities. Copenhagen, wherever the fuck that is and however the fuck it looks, is a much more savory option, especially in comparison to Chicago. No, Carmen shouldn’t be jumping at the opportunity to return. He’s exactly where Mikey wants him to be.
“Nah, he… he belongs there…”
Tension collects in the air as both you and Mikey go quiet. He’s aware his words didn’t leave room for you to reply with something, but then again, Mikey doesn’t think he wants you to. This has gone on longer than he’s comfortable with and while he thinks you’re sweet, he doesn’t have the energy to go into more details about Carmen and where he is and why Mikey has to battle the conflict of wanting his brother to succeed, even if that means without him. It was always supposed to be without him. He doesn’t have the time and his skin is beginning to itch with the need to buckle out of his head and back to the present where he’s supposed to be cooking ribs for his barbecue. That’s what this is, Mikey has to live where he is and push Carmen to a far space in his mind.
“Come on, let’s head out, party’s outside, not in here,” Mikey chirps up, his usual swagger and booming voice adopted with ease. He walks away from your side at the couch and grabs at the two ends of the rack. Thankfully, you don’t pry or press about the subject change, opening the door for him so he can step through and head to the grill.
Richie catches you once you’re both outside. The birds tweet, the wind flows through your blouse, and you’re a natural at navigating the shit-talking storm that Richie’s subjected you to. You fit right in. Mikey makes a mental note to introduce you to Carmen once he comes back home. You two would be a good fit. You’re pretty, intelligent, and you seem to think his brother is attractive enough to stare at his picture for longer than two minutes. That’s enough reason. It’s not because you could possibly keep Carmen around. No… it’s not because he needs Carmen to be happy outside of the Beef. It’s not Mikey’s overbearing need to take care of everyone before himself. It’s not because he needs someone to look after Carmen and ensure he doesn’t end up like Mikey. It’s not. It’s not.
It is.
But Mikey never gets to introduce you two. Richie does.
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whoneedssubtitles · 2 years
Text
SAVAGERY
or the attack on titan cast filming season four, episode fourteen.
ft. actor!armin, eren, mikasa, jean, hange, and erwin
author’s note: new series, honeys. writing it completely out of order with a mix of on and off set scenes. send me your ideas. ♡
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perhaps it was always meant to be this way, armin thought.
he and eren were never truly compatible. they were simply both outcasts, both unwanted by the other children on their street. so its was never that the distance between them was so close, but that the two of them were so far from everyone else that they were the only one the other could see.
even now, it felt natural that they would grow apart. that life and aging would only lead to clarity on who they are, who they thought the other was, and just how different those two people were. how different those two people must be.
so it was always going to happen this way—the two of them sitting at opposite ends of the white round table. armin in his uniform, eren not. armin beside mikasa, eren not.
he blinked hard to hide his tears, willing them to save themselves for someone worth shedding over. someone who didn’t abandon him for years without notice. someone who didn’t throw words sharper than daggers at the people who loved him. someone who wasn’t evil.
someone, anyone, who wasn’t eren.
face hot with anger, fireworks of nerves bursting in his chest, armin mustered all the strength he could to sound offended, but unhurt.
“how could you say that to her?”
he pushed himself up from his seat and lunged across the table.
armin has never been good at fighting. he left that to mikasa and the arguing to eren. even after months of training, his body felt weak and out of his control. eren could easily beat him in a match. hell, anyone could. but he couldn’t allow himself to stand by and watch. not this time, not anymore.
so here he was, willing his flailing arms to do something, anything, for once.
his body was jerked back before crashing against the table, his wrists pulled tight behind him in a hold he never learned in the cadet corps. the soft table cloth crumpled beneath his cheek. with one eye pressed into the fabric, armin steadied his clouded gaze on the culprit: mikasa.
eren rose from his seat across the table, his hand leaving bright red stains in its wake. his chest rose and fell, rose and fell, as he observed the scene before him, picking it apart like a scientific paper hange showed armin once.
a smirk pulled at eren’s lips, then he pressed them into a tight line, his hands drawing into fists by his sides. he’s never really been good at lying.
“you guys have to be kidding me. you’re not actually gonna make me do this, right?”
“cut!”
erwin groaned from his director’s chair, hiding his face in his hand, but peeking between his fingers at the scene before him. his eyes flickered to the clock on a nearby wall. they’d been at this for hours now, with eren motivating the majority of the retakes.
armin gently tapped his forehead against the table cloth. his face was hidden, but he couldn’t disguise the soft laugh that shook his body.
“reset the scene. again, please.” erwin glanced at his co-director, hange.
“how many times are you gonna make us do this, eren?” mikasa rolled her eyes, freeing armin’s wrists from her grasp. she rubbed her temples with her forefingers as she took a couple steps back from the table. working with eren was a headache — literally and figuratively.
“as many times as we need to get it right!” hange patted erwin’s knee twice before pushing off their seat to join the actors on the set. “we’ll do this all night if we have to.”
eren leaned over the table, leveling with his blonde co-star. “but how could i ever hurt armin?” with a pout, he lifted his gaze to meet hange’s, “i’d like to see you try to punch him, since you think it’s so easy.”
armin lifted his head from the table, propping himself on his forearms before setting back in his seat. “i would appreciate it if you didn’t.”
“you know, eren,” jean strolled onto the set from behind armin. he adjusted the collar of blond’s jostled uniform jacket before looking at eren. “it’s almost like we’re acting or something. like it’s not real, dumbass.”
jean was lucky (and clearly bored). his scenes didn’t start filming until tomorrow so he had an extra day to lounge around the crew, interjecting with not-so constructive criticism when he saw fit. also fixing armin’s costuming. he seemed to busy himself with that more lately.
“i actually find it comforting that he doesn’t want to punch me,” armin said, gaze cutting from jean’s hand on his shoulder to hange.
“do we need to get you stage fighting classes after however-many years we’ve been filming this? really?” hange looked at eren in disbelief.
eren brought his hands up to his hair, running them through the perfectly styled strands before remembering the fake blood. “oh, fuck.” he grimaced. “sorry…”
“everybody, take five,” hange cocked their head as they looked at the blood stains in eren’s hair. “or fifteen.”
thanks for reading! likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated :)
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skinnywalker · 2 years
Note
sorry to sound annoying but when’s the next part of the Lester x male reader thing ? Sorry to bother you about this
Right now!!! >:)
The hitchhiker Lester Sinclair x male reader part 2 smut
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The two sat starring into each other's eyes.
"Do ya really want this?"
"Yes."
Lester meets their lips together. He sucks on the other man's lips like candy before pushing his tongue deeper into his mouth. He tastes like diner mints and warm soda. They makeout for nearly a mintue before breaking for air
While trying to regain his breathe Lester saw how sweet the other man's neck was looking.
"Damn sweetie ya look like a dessert all pretty on ma lap like this."
He grins.
"I'm all yours to eat Les."
Lester pulled off his lover's shirt and took his left nipple into his mouth. He rolled the bud with his tongue earning moan after moan.
"Oooooooh! Lester please I need your dick!!"
Lester couldn't help but smirk.
"As ya wish sweetheart."
Lester flipped him onto his stomach and slowly pulled his pants off. His eyes tracked every new inch of skin licking his lips in anticipation.
"Ya look as tasty as a five course meal doll."
Lester pulls his neck up forcing his chin up and mutters into his ear with hot breathe.
"And I'm gonna eat you like one."
He grasps feeling Lester rip his underwear straight off and goes tongue deep in.
"LESTER!!! YOURE SOOO GOOOOOD!!! OH GODDDDDD!"
The car filled with the mixed of Lester's sloppy eating and the other man's uncontrollable reaction noises.
Lester tongue fucked him nearly insane.
"LES! I AH! I'M GOING TO OOOH! COME LES!"
He pulls back earning a pitiful whimper but quick replaced the empty ache with his dick.
"Ya ready sweetheart? I'm not sure I can be gentle while I'm high off ya."
He breathed trying to muster enough enegry to reply.
"Yes."
He grinned eyes gone dark with lust.
"Good."
Lester at once set a deep and hearless pace, hitting every nerve and sweet spot in each rushed trust.
He couldn't hear the other man's brainless sludge that dripped from his mouth as he tried to make actual words since he was so deep in riding his own pleasure.
He knew his release was only a few seconds away.
"I'M GONNA CUM IN YOU SWEETS!! I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF!"
He couldn't respond other than pushing himself up to get Les some how even deeper.
Lester pushed his lover's head face down into the leather seats as he milk his cock through draw out trusts in his ass. He came buckets leaving a mess of mixed cum from both of them on the seats and floor.
"God we got real messy huh."
Lester smiled coming back to his senses.
"That was the best fuck I've ever had Les."
He shook while trying to pull himself up from the now dirty seat. Lester pulled him up into his arms and tapped his jacket round the both of them.
"I never knew I'd need that."
He sighed relaxing into Lester's warmth. Lester kissed his cheek and rubbed his marked up thighs.
"Ya need anything right now sweet pea? I know I can be a bit wild."
"Well I could really used a nice cuddle season at your house."
Lester flushed.
"And to stay there for the rest of my life. Would that work for you Les?"
"I think you'd make a very handsome house boyfriend."
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roanofarcc · 6 months
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PROJECT SUNSHINE CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR → A BLAZE OF HORROR
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summary: steve harrington x oc
when another product of Hawkins National Laboratory escaped a long-survived nightmare alongside her sister, she crashed into one unsuspecting teenage boy and dragged him deeper into the dark mysteries that made up their hometown.
word count. 3.3k || masterlist
warnings: cannon typical violence, child abuse, horror, gore, and depictions of mental illness. parts of this story were written pre-season 4 release. cannon divergence.
previous chapter ← → next chapter
a/n: we're nearing the end of season 2! many exciting things to come :)
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Sunshine landed on the ground with a light thud as she let go of the rope they had fastened to Billy Hargrove’s stolen car. She found herself inside one section of tunnel that she’d been staring at in drawing form on the walls of Will’s Byers home. The temperature dropped upon entrance, causing her to shiver and pull her jacket closer to her body. She adjusted her goggles over her eyes and made sure the bandana tied around her nose and mouth was secure as she waited for everyone else to drop down into the tunnel after her. 
The tunnels looked like they stretched for miles in a terrible darkness that was only made worse by the cut of flashlights. Particles floated in the air, resembling ash, and vines decorated the walls and floor. 
“Holy shit,” Steve muttered under his breath as he landed beside Sunshine and took in their new surroundings. 
Once all of the kids were there, Mike took the lead with a drawn map in his hands that he had made between the chaos at the Byers. “I’m pretty sure it’s this way,” he said. 
“You’re pretty sure or are you certain?” Dustin asked. 
Mike sighed and Sunshine was sure he rolled his eyes somewhere under his goggles. “I’m one hundred percent sure. Just follow me and you’ll know.” He began to walk down the tunnel but was promptly stopped by Steve snatching the map from the kid’s grasp. “Hey!” Mike tried to object. 
“I don’t think so.” Steve held the map high enough that Mike couldn’t grab it. “If any of you little shits down here, we’re getting blamed. From here on out, Sunshine and I are leading the way.” If they couldn’t stop the kids from doing something stupidly dangerous, then they had to lead the way into danger. 
The kids seemed almost unsure of Steve’s authority, and all looked to Sunshine like she was supposed to make the final call. Of course, she agreed with Steve, so she nodded her head, and they all didn’t put up an argument. Then they were off. 
As they ventured through the tunnel, drenched in the cold and strange air, Sunshine was struck with Deja vu. The tunnels felt awfully similar to when she and Nancy had crawled through a small gateway in the woods that placed them inside the Upside Down. 
The other, terrible world infected Hawkins like a disease. The tunnels stretched for miles, according to Will’s map, underneath the outskirts of the town and threatened to reach the residents unless El closed the Gate and stopped it from spreading. Sunshine couldn’t imagine the kind of hysteria that would come from the people of Hawkins if they were exposed to the Upside Down, the Demogorgons, and the Mind Flyer. 
And it was up to them to keep that from happening and keep the world from ending, which seemed wildly unfair. Yet, there was no time or space for them to refute their position, no matter how bad of shape they were in. 
All of the events of the night, good and terrible, weighed heavily upon all of them, leaving them beaten, bruised, and tired. Sunshine wasn’t sure if they had another round of monster fighting in them, but she wasn’t sure they’d get a choice in the matter. 
As they ventured deeper into the tunnels, they came upon odd plants that grew beside the vines. The plants expanded and retracted as if they were breathing. They stopped to observe the strange scenery for only a moment before they started walking again, but they didn’t get far before a shrill scream came from the back of the group, startling everyone. 
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Dustin yelled as he hastily pulled down his bandana and began coughing violently. 
Sunshine had whipped around at the scream and hurried to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder with panic rising quickly in her chest. “What happened?” 
“It’s in my mouth! Some got in my mouth! Shit!” Dustin yelled and coughed while Sunshine shared a worried look with Steve. Neither one of them knew what to do; there wasn’t exactly common knowledge on what to do when someone breathed in otherworldly plant fumes. Luckily, Dustin’s panic faded with his coughs, and settled with a deep breath from the kid before he said, “I think I’m okay. It’s fine.” 
Sunshine let out a sigh of relief and pulled Dustin’s bandana back up over his nose and mouth. “Let’s keep going, yeah?” she said. Dustin nodded and the rest of the kids all started following Steve’s lead once more. 
After she made her way back to the front of the pack, Sunshine peered over at the map Steve held and tried to figure out how close they were to the hub.
“If we make it out of here, remind me to never volunteer to babysit again,” Steve said. 
“When we make out of here,” she corrected. Not making it out wasn’t a choice they had. Sunshine promised to protect all of them, and she didn’t plan on breaking that promise. “I will. But I don’t know how well that’ll go over.” She glanced behind them at the group filing behind them with brave faces and good hearts. “I think they’re really warming up to you.” 
Steve shook his head. “They said, like ten minutes ago, they wanted to leave me behind at the house.”
“Well, yeah, but to be fair, they were right about you freaking out in the car.” Steve scoffed. “And I wouldn’t have let that happen. We wouldn’t have left you behind.” 
Over the last year, Sunshine had grown a closeness with Steve that she didn’t want to let go of. She had learned what it was like to have a best friend, to have someone who was patient and kind to her without any obligation to do so. Sunshine wanted to hang onto Steve; she liked having him around, whether it was to study at the library or fight monsters. 
“I can’t believe you punch Hargrove,” Steve said after a beat of silence. “I bet that threw him off. Most girls in town are trying to get with him, not break his jaw.” 
It was her turn to scoff, playfully. “I didn’t break his jaw. I think his jaw hurt my hand more than my punch hurt him.” She flexed her fingers and winced. The way Billy looked at Max and Lucas still unsettled her; the idea that anyone, even an angry teenage boy, would think for even a second of hurting a kid half their size caused rage to flood Sunshine’s veins. Maybe it was her memories of the Lab and how far the violence inside there went, but she refused to let anyone lay a hand on any member of the party. And even though Sunshine had just met Max that week, she still felt a sense of protectiveness over her, considering how she was roped into the mess of their lives. 
“I also take babysitting very seriously,” Sunshine added, half-joking. 
“I’ve noticed.” 
They continued to trudge through the tunnels until they reached a large opening that multiple tunnels spilled into. It was a large space right where Mike had said. 
“Alright, Wheeler,” Steve said. “I think we found your hub.” 
Mike stepped forward holding a canister of gasoline. “Let’s drench it.” And that they did. 
The group worked to soak every inch of the room with gasoline. They worked quickly and tossed the empty canisters aside before they regrouped at the entrance of the tunnel they had come from. They had a straight shot back to the entrance and a quick trip back to the Byers. Sunshine hoped they beat everyone back and then she nor Steve would have to explain why they let the kids out of the house when that was the last thing they were supposed to do. 
Steve pulled a lighter from his coat pocket and everyone braced themselves. He breathed deeply and muttered, “I’m in such deep shit,” before he dropped the lighter and caught the hub on fire. 
The flames drank the gasoline hungrily, spreading alarmingly fast. Bright orange exploded before their eyes and the heat was felt through their layers of clothing. The vines that covered the ground and walls hissed loudly in pain like they were alive. 
“Go! Go! Go!” Steve yelled and prompted the kids to start running. 
A final wave of adrenaline gave them one last push to run as fast as their legs could carry them. Steve led the way, remembering each twist and turn even in the eerie darkness, and Sunshine brought up the rear to ensure no kid got left behind. That was a good thing, too, because as they ran, one of the vines snaked up from where it was curled against the ground and latched onto Mike’s leg as he tried to run by. 
He was pulled to the ground and Sunshine stumbled to a stop with him. Mike kicked his leg in an attempt to shake the vine, but it encircled his ankle, locking him in place.
Sunshine kneeled beside him and dug her fingernails into the vine, trying to yank it off of Mike, but it refused to let him go. 
“Sunshine! Get it off! Get it off!” Mike cried. 
She knew her powers were shot, but she thought she’d get lucky again like she had with Billy. Sunshine cupped her hands together, but before she could even think about igniting them, another vine shot out of the wall and curled around her wrist. 
An angry scream tore through her throat as she tried to escape and help Mike. 
The rest of the group had heard their yells and stopped running. 
“Oh, shit!” Lucas gasped, looking between Mike’s trapped leg and Sunshine’s bound wrists. 
“Steve, do something!” Dustin demanded, full of panic. 
Steve quickly pulled his bat from his backpack and hurried over to the two. He first brought the bat down against the ground, where Mike’s vine squirmed. The nails that had been hammered into the bat struck the vine and cut through its thick skin, causing the plant to ooze black goo. Mike pulled the dead half of the vine from around his ankle and scrambled toward Sunshine. He grabbed a hold of the vine that squeezed Sunshine’s wrists and pulled it taught between her and the wall. 
“Hit it! Hurry!” Mike yelled at Steve. Steve swung his bat again and cut the vine. 
Mike pulled Sunshine to her feet with a heavy breath. 
“Are you okay?” she asked him. 
With a nod, Mike brushed the sweaty pieces of hair back from his forehead. “Y-Yeah. I’m fine. But we’ve gotta go.” 
Sunshine spun around to resume their journey through the tunnels, but instead of an empty path, they were met with the faceless gaze of a Demo-dog. Instinctively, she grabbed a hold of the kids nearest to her, Mike and Luke, and shoved them behind her. She moved to grab the rest of the kids, but Dustin stepped forward toward the monster before she could. 
“Dart,” Dustin said, his voice steady. 
Sunshine’s heart dropped violently. “Dustin-” she hissed, but he held up his hand to quiet her as Dart growled. 
“Stop,” Dustin whispered to the group. “Just trust me.” 
Sunshine trusted Dustin: the kid was one of the smartest she knew, but he and all of the kids acted like they were invincible. 
Stepping forward slowly, Dustin kept all of his focus on Dart. Sunshine held her breath and tried to think of the quickest way to get him and everyone else away if the monster decided to attack. There wasn’t anywhere for them to run away unless it was back toward the hub that was burning. The only escape was past the Demo-dog. 
“Hey, it’s me. It’s your friend, Dustin. Do you remember me? Will you let us pass?” Dart growled once more in response, but it didn’t seem to deter Dustin. He spoke again, calm and slow, like he was talking to his mom’s dead cat, Mews, and not a creature that wanted to rip them from limb to limb. “I’m sorry about the storm cellar, that was a pretty douchey thing to do.” He reached into the side pocket of his backpack and pulled out a candy bar. “You hungry? I’ve got your favorite, see? Nought.” He tossed the candy to the ground in front of Dart. The monster sniffed it for a moment, and Sunshine feared it would ignore the candy and take to eating them instead. 
However, Dart turned his attention away from Dustin and began eating the candy bar similar to how a dog snacked on a bone. Dustin tossed a look over his shoulder at the group and waved them along. “Let’s go.” 
As carefully and quietly as they could, the group slid past Dart and resumed their sprint toward the exit. The crackle of the fire faded, and the tunnel was only filled with their labored breaths and heavy steps. 
They managed to make it fairly far before another problem was tossed their way. What was supposed to be a quick and sneaky task had taken several turns for the worse. 
A steady rumble began to shake the ground and a symphony of howls and growls sucked the nasty air from Sunshine’s lungs. 
“They’re coming!” Mike rushed out. “Run!” 
Sunshine spared a quick look over her shoulder and saw the monsters’ shadows growing on the wall behind them. She quickened her pace with her heart threatening to beat right out of her chest. 
Several feet ahead, the rope came into view, swinging down from the surface as their saving grace. 
Steve, having led everyone, was the first to reach the rope and he immediately started ushering the kids up it and to the safety above. Max was the first one up and the second she was out she reached her hand down into the hole and helped the others up. 
Together, Steve and Sunshine made quick work of hoisting the kids up, one after another as the monster enclosed around them. Sunshine could hear them coming toward at a rapid pace. As the seconds ticked by, and the Demo-dogs grew closer, she worried they wouldn’t get all of the kids up in time. 
Lucas followed Max, and then Mike, Dustin, and Luke all managed to scramble out with the help of one another. All who were left were Steve and Sunshine, but the monsters turned the corner and were only a couple of feet from them. 
“Guys! Come on!” Dustin screamed and all of the kids reached out their hands, but there was no time. It was mere seconds until the monsters reached them, not allowing enough time for even one of them to climb, let alone both of them. 
Sunshine didn’t even have time to think about dying. All she could think about was the way her sides ached from running and how the kids’ voices all bled together from above. She stared at the incoming creatures, too drained and stunned to fight. All she did was close her eyes and hold her breath. An arm hooked around her waist, and she was pulled into a tight embrace. 
For an agonizing moment, she and Steve braced for impact. They were either going to be eaten or trampled to death, perhaps both.
But nothing happened. 
The howls came and left with a strong gush of air that nearly knocked Sunshine off her feet if it hadn’t been for Steve. It was like the monster hadn’t even seen them. They slipped away down the tunnel before their very eyes. 
Sunshine peeled her eyes open and tried to catch her breath. She had Steve’s coat clutched tight in her shaky hands and he kept his one arm around her waist, while his other held onto the rope. For a moment, they stared at each other, unsure of what the hell just happened.
“Holy shit,” Steve breathed out with a bewildered look overcoming his features. He suddenly grabbed the sides of Sunshine’s face, like he was checking to make sure she was real and that they both were still standing. “We’re not dead. We’re not dead!” 
A startled laugh fell from Sunshine’s lips. They should be dead. Why didn’t the monsters attack them? Why didn’t they even seem to notice them? 
The kids all called to them, frantically overlapping with each other so that Sunshine couldn’t make out what they were saying. 
Steve stepped back and looked up at the series of faces that peered down at them. “We’re okay,” he told them, but that didn’t seem to ease the worry that had overtaken each of their faces. 
“Something’s wrong!” Max cried, looking at something over her shoulder. “Hurry!” 
Steve hoisted Sunshine up first. She climbed the rope until the kids were within reach, and they helped her the rest of the way up. She fell into the dirt with a deep breath of fresh air. 
They only had a second to collect themselves before the kids pulled their attention toward Luke, who sat still on the ground a couple of feet from the tunnel entrance. 
“Something’s wrong with him,” Lucas said, nervously glancing between the older teens and Luke. 
Luke’s eyes were rolled into the back of his head and a single line of blood dripped from his nose. Sunshine cursed under her breath as she kneeled in front of it. As she did so, the headlights of Billy’s car suddenly burned brightly, nearly blinding all of them. The lights grew brighter and brighter until they switched off, leaving them in the darkness of night in the middle of an empty field. 
“El,” said Mike. “She did it.” 
Sunshine didn’t know what it was exactly, but she knew he was right. There was something, a feeling that buzzed through the air that quelled the doom that had been thick for weeks. El had closed the Gate. It was over. That allowed her attention to be fully on Luke. 
“Luke? Luke, can you hear me?” She didn’t touch him, but her hands hovered close to the young boy. Everyone else crowded around the two of them on the ground. “Who helped him up?” 
Max slowly raised her hand, her face blanched. “I did. D-Did I do something wrong? I didn’t-” 
“No, you didn’t,” Sunshine said. “When Luke touches someone, skin to skin, he gets a vision. That’s how his abilities work.” That’s why he often curled into himself and kept his hands tucked away in his pockets, but in the chaos of the incoming Demo-dogs, Luke had no choice but to accept the help of Max to get to safety. 
“Whoa, wait,” Dustin gasped. “You mean, he’s seeing the future right now?” 
Sunshine sighed, “Yes.” 
Another couple of quiet moments passed as they waited out Luke’s vision. He returned with a loud gasp and his eyes blinked back into focus. His hand pressed against his chest, and he looked around wildly until Sunshine gently placed a hand on his coat-clad shoulder. 
“Hey, Luke. You’re okay,” she soothed. Luke visibility relaxed, but not before his gaze fell onto Max. What Sunshine didn’t mention was that the future he saw was specific to the person he had touched. But he said nothing, and she was sure that meant he needed time to digest the flashes of the future he saw before he could make sense of them. 
No one was sure of what to do after that. The cold air nipped at their noses and their heavy breaths were visible in the dim moonlight. Sunshine felt her adrenaline wear off, and she had to resist the urge to fall back into the dirt and close her eyes for the night. 
“We should get back to Will’s before everyone else,” Mike said after a moment. Everyone silently agreed and started toward the car.
“Um, is Max driving again?” Lucas asked. 
“No!” Both Sunshine and Steve answered simultaneously. Max scoffed, but her attitude was watered down by the night, and she tiredly shrugged them off before tossing the keys she had kept safe in her pocket to Steve. 
Everyone fell into their seats, and they started back to the Byers, all ready for the night to conclude.
Tag List. @sattlersquarry , @leptitlu , @echoing-oursong
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Who is showing this "kids show" to their child
(Warning sort of spoilers ahead for Lego Monkie Kid and Ninjago)
I'm here back at it again with another hyper fixation and once again it is a lego show made for children, though honestly I hesitate to say that because seriously who is showing their little child things like Ninjago and LMK (Lego Monkie Kid you should totally watch it if you haven't already).
Now me and my mother have discussed this in detail with her argument being "Well they're kids so they don't gully grasp what's going on, maybe?" and number 1) kids are WAY more perceptive than we give them credit for and 2) EVEN A CHILD WOULD BE SCARED SHITLESS WATCHING SOME OF THIS
Like Ninjago actively ahs sacrificial rituals, genocide and other concepts that are pretty morbid if you think about them too hard, and even visually Ninjago has managed to create some creatures that child me would not want to be having nightmares about! Like come on the end of season five would have ruined me! (Actually that's probably not true since I liked scary stuff even as a kid, but my friend who actually did watch the show as a young boy said that the season 3 ending fucked him up a little)
Now that's not even mentioning LMK, which OH BOY! So I have to watch it on this literal children's app because finding places to watch LMK in the US is really hard, but this app labels it as and I quote: For Boys ages 6-9. 1) I am neither a boy nor ages 6-9 I am a girl and well into my teens funnily enough and 2) WHO THE FUCK IS LETTING THEIR 6-9 YEARO OLD WATCH THIS SHIT? LIKE SEASON 2 AND ONWARD WOULD BE STRAIGH UP TRAUMATIC!
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Like that's barely two and I still think it's enough to ask who the hell is showing their children LMK cause like REALLY? Like genuinely actually who is showing their child (and this is an incomplete list): Murder, PTSD (Sandy's flash backs), just Macaque in general (because while I adore him now young me would have been like HELL TO THE NO), Lady Bone demon in general cause lord she was able to give me chills, the mayor who probably isn't actually the mayor, THE SEASON FOUR INK MONSTERS ARE FUCKING NIGHMARE FUEL!
Like seriously these show can get creepy as hell and there are multiple cannon deaths (obviously for Ninjago that doesn't stick very long but nonetheless) and honestly I want to meet a child who genuinely watched LMK at the suggested age cause like I guarantee unless they're a little adrenaline and fear junkie like I was they're not doing to hot rn lol.
Anyway sorry I haven't been posting much recently, currently I'm having some pretty severe pain in both of my hands so doing pretty much any drawing is really hard a physically taxing + the sickly Victorian child curse took hold again and I'm once again violently ill and now I won't get to see one of my best friends who's going out of country :(
I should hopefully at least be getting SOME (maybe one or two) pieces out for pride (since I am in fact a homoromantic) but idk how much I can promise due to my hands and current status as Sickly Victorian Child, but on the bright side I'm out of school T-T. Thanks for reading!
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My thoughts on the Dr. Stone special (“Dr. Stone: Ryusui”)
My thoughts after watching Dr. Stone: Ryusui:
01. A drama club! XD And it looks like the familiar school building with the clock HAS to show up in every anime series, even Dr. Stone! :D
02. Kohaku looks like a serious narrator :O And it's nice to hear her talk this much! :)
03. Taiju and Yuzuriha as themselves, Chrome as Senku, Kinro and Ginro as one single tree... Suika with multiple parts, and they even got a swallow to join! :) Maybe it's the same one Senku first revived, and the one that flew above their expedition caravan in Season Two! :D
04. Kinro and Ginro's shocked acting! XD But they're still better than Chrome during the tournament arc! ...Actually, Chrome's acting has improved a LOT from the tournament arc! :D
05. Yo has really not learned his lesson about laughing at the stone world era folks...
06. What I don't understand about Magma's boat entry is... why are the human figures in the water instead of on the boat?
07. Yo's raft was more impressive in his imagination than in reality...
08. The way Senku's eyes shown as he looked at the first drawing... :) (I don't think he acknowledged the second drawing, haha!)
09. Yeah... with THAT drawing, Senku DEFINITELY wins! Everybody was really impressed! :D
10. Don't worry, Chrome and Kaseki... you have a ton of people who can help you build the ship! :)
11. Looks like Senku still plans on using sextants on the ship!
12. Yay, Kohaku's on the digging expedition! :) But, as she had to remind Senku, she is NOT a gorilla :D
13. I always like it when Senku and Kohaku are in scenes together :) They've both gotten curious about that Ryusui dude...
14. "We won't find anyone who's a more skilled sailor than Ryusui-kun..." Minami's case against Ryusui was hopeless as soon as she uttered those words XD
15. Ryusui's back! :D
16. And Burnout Syndomes is back with Good Morning [New] World! :) It's slightly different from the original opening song - slower, lower, more distorted in parts - but the song still sounds exhilarating! :O A lot of the character images are from the previous two seasons, and about the running scene, I love that Kohaku is in the lead, Chrome gets a burst of energy because of his excitement, and everybody, even Gen (and Ryusui, who's in the middle), eventually leaves Senku and his poor stamina behind... so accurate! XD
17. When I first heard Ryusui's deep voice in the initial trailer, I, like many people, was perplexed and weirded out and thought it didn't suit him at all :D But now, I think his voice makes a lot of sense to be that way - he's older than the MAIN main cast (except for Kaseki), and is going to be a leader in his own right - it wouldn't feel right for him to a have thin, youthful, teenager-y voice :)
18. Ryusui, stop traumatizing poor, innocent Kohaku and put some clothes on! :O
19. Poor Ryusui has no Francois just yet :) Also, how do his fingers end up in that formation after snapping? My fingers don’t look like that after I snap them... :O
20. Yeah, seriously, how does his middle finger also end up in the air?
21. Ryusui’s kind of like Tsukasa - very quick on the uptake! While Tsukasa’s intelligence took form in not surrendering the protection of the stone until he knew the situation AND using that stone to his advantage, Ryusui’s intelligence was shown in his immediate grasp of the facts after thousands of years of being pertrified :)
22. Thank you, Minami, for giving Ryusui clothing so that he can finally cover himself up! XD
23. Ooh, so Magma considers Kohaku (and Minami) and attractive... interesting information... :D Aww, poor Nikki... and also, with being kicked there, maybe poor Magma, too... :O
24. Wow, Ryusui doesn’t have sailing skills, he has storm prediction skills, too! Which, I suppose, are also included in sailing skills... but still, quite impressive! Way to show his knowledge this early on! :D
25. This is really interesting; four of the five wise generals are out there covering the lumber for the ship! :) Really smart of Senku to test him like that, and I like the detail that Senku’s coat is a darker color because it’s soaked from the rain! :)
26. Ah, a new title for Chrome - resource king! :D Wow... Chrome as the lead explorer, Kohaku and her amazing eyesight, and Ukyo with his incredible hearing... that is an all-star resource expedition team! I think Suika would have made the team even better, but that might have just been overkill in terms of awesomeness XD
27. Ryusui gets an oil field, and the kingdom of science gets currency XD And he has a gold-plated house, hahaha! Ramen, cotton candy, and manga all for sale... just like in the old (current) days... And why does Senku look so evil?! :D
28. Making the link between trust in Senku and trust in his new currency... Ryusui’s a wily one! :)
29. Ukyo’s ears and Kohaku’s eyes... wow, what a combination! :D
30. That’s a GIGANTIC WATERFALL!! :O
31. And poor Ukyo... he’s the only one in their group of three who truly knows what it means to now have a gigantic waterfall near Mt. Fuji... :(
32. Aww, Suika’s wistful bird idea gave Senku an awesome scientific idea! :D And even Ryusui is shocked by Senku and Gen’s tactics! XD
33. It’s really funny that Magma was really aware of what Yo’s reaction might be! :D And this one time, Yo was totally casual and admitted his own ignorance! :)
34. Kaseki was so excited and so pumped up, so read for a long, painstaking roadmap to human flight... but the roadmap only had three stages! XD
35. I LOVE that Senku also depends on Yuzuriha and really respects her skills and is asking for her help! :) I mean, he’s actually bowing to her! I don’t think I’ve EVER seen him to that to ANYBODY! Wow! :O I love their faith in each other and their friendship! :D And they did a high five too; awesome!! :D
36. Kinro’s so diligent, but even he wants the thread spinning to end! XD
37. Magma asked a very logical question... but honestly, Yuzuriha’s response made a lot of sense, too! It IS easy work, just... incredibly tedious... :O She’s so adorable, daydreaming about her little, handheld loom! :)
38. Wow, that’s an incredible loom! I think it even has a seat cushion! And there’s a place for drinks, and a lamp! Not to mention the, you know, actual LOOM part... :D
39. Kaseki isn’t sure if this was what Yuzuriha wanted, and Senku is ADORABLE, wondering if Yuzuriha wanted an electric loom! :)
40. I don’t know how looms work, but I’m glad Yuzuriha does! :D Nikki’s going to dye cloth, and Ginro is so sick of spinning thread... XD I love Suika enjoying how soft the cloth is! :D
41. Oh, poor Kinro is so tired from spinning all that thread! :O Actually, everybody is exhausted! XD
42. It’s really interesting how Senku chooses his scruples XD But it’s nice to think that he’s usually a very ethical person (not being cool with Gen using blank paper to motivate everybody) and saves his evil side for when he’s trying to win a bloodless war (the fake Lilian plan) :)
43. I really like that he went to Yuzuriha again for the department store! :D Ah, so Yuzuriha and Kinro and Ginro are friendly enough to be familiar with each other; that’s great! :) And of course, Taiju would be totally used to this side of Yuzuriha! :D
44. Ruri, Kinro, Suika... they were either embarrassed or awkward, but Kaseki walked like a pro! I’m guessing that they asked the villagers to be their models because the modern era folks would be the main target audience for that modern clothing :)
45. Oh, Ryusui... Oh, Senku and Gen... I suppose it all worked out in the end...? XD
46. Whoa, Chrome just up and RAN as soon as he heard about the flying machine! Wait, why didn’t Senku tell him sooner?! XD
47. Senku with his hot-air balloon mathematics... :O Suika and Ginro are acting like sewing is so normal for them; Ginro doesn’t even look like he’s paying full attention but he’s still really fast and productive! After sewing hard leather all the time, it must be really easy for Suika and Ginro and the others to sew soft cloth! :)
48. Gen’s playing cards for the hot air balloon theory have “Theory of Evolution” and “Natural Selection” written on them; haha! XD
49. “You’ll never get a platinum ticket like that again” - intriguing word choice... :D
50. Taiju, that’s a very, very good question... XD
51. Chrome RAN all the way from Ishigami Village to the kingdom of science’s new headquarters... AND he drew the right card through willpower alone! (Cough, cough; Gen totally didn’t influence that at all...) He’s so happy! :D
52. They’re flying; they’re flying! :O Kasek’s so happy that he cried, and he made ME cry, too! :’) And Chrome so, so, happy... this is an amazing moment for him; for all of them... :)
53. Chrome’s so happy about being amongst the birds! :) But Senku... not so much... wow, that was like a Matrix-style dodge from Senku! His reflexes ain’t bad! :O
54. Ah, so Ishigami Village is a two-day walk away if you’re REALLY in a rush, like Chrome was... and two hours away by hot-air balloon! :)
55. Ooh, Ryusui just called Chrome an AMATEUR adventurer! Those are fightin’ words! :O I really like that Chrome dropped some knowledge about the wind and rivers to back up his status as an EXPERIENCED land adventurer! :D
56. The big antagonist for this special is... a dragon-shaped cumulonimbus cloud XD And, wow, they’re really lucky to be able to keep their balance inside that wildly flying hot-air balloon! :O
57. Oh, Chrome has faced - and run away from - a black/grey bear, with Mister Bear running at 50 kilometers per hour and Mister Chrome running at 30 kilometers per hour... :O And he sort of used his land experience to help him in the air! :)
58. Wow, the revival fluid is helping them even now... and SENKU was blasted out of the hot-air balloon! Scary! :O
59. They did it! They defeated Mister Cumulonimbus! :D And... Senku, with his poor stamina, is still hanging outside the hot-air balloon! XD
60. Aww, Kohaku’s there with the flag! :) And she’s amazed that they’re flying! :O She said Chrome and Ryusui’s names quietly, but she shouted happily and waved when it came to Senku’s name! :D
61. Maybe they were all just taking a break or something, but it’s really nice that everybody was gathered there near Gen and the cell phone, as if they were all waiting for news for the hot-air balloon crew’s safe arrival! :)
62. Nice jump from Kohaku! :O Very twirly! Oh, so it was Ukyo who called Gen! And I’m glad the explanation for the cards and the nature of choice was show here, just at the end :)
63. Chrome was acknowledged by Ryusui as a fellow PROFESSIONAL adventurer! :D And a high- uh, middle-five AND a fist bump between them? Nice! :D And... Senku’s STILL hanging from outside the hot-air balloon, hahaha! XD
64. Senku and Chrome are excited to learn more about the world, Ryusui will take them where they need to go, and Kohaku and Ukyo are eager for them to descend to Ishigami Village! :D Our next goal is to make a map... and after that, to find oil! Congratulations to Ryusui on his (unpetrified) television debut! :O This was a marvelous TV special! ^_^ (And I can FINALLY watch Season Three, yay! :D)
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theweedisasterxoxo · 5 months
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Open My Eyes (So I May See Your Love)
Fic Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Chapter Warnings/Content: mention of canon-typical violence, injury description, sewing up wounds, mention of hunting, plot-convenience, nickname/petname (“Sunshine”), reader is moderately able-bodied, no Y/N, i think the word ‘you’ has lost all meaning now, no age for reader so you can imagine her however you like.
Word Count: 1607
i. Prologue
This season has been a particularly cruel one; while the weather was pleasant and provided near-perfect conditions, a cruel twist of fate brought about nothing but fleeting chances. Even if you were to catch something, there was no guarantee that you would benefit from it when all that would be left after the necessary preparations wouldn’t satisfy even the smallest child’s hunger. So, when you heard the rustling of leaves and a few twigs snapping off to your right you didn’t get your hopes up. You hadn’t even bothered to look in the direction of the sound until you took notice of the shadow that was far too humanoid to be cast by the small animals that you had been hunting.
So, when you finally do look up, you are met by the sight of a frail and sickly looking man; he’s older - definitely older than you - with tight greying curls pulled back into a ponytail, although with the amount of hair that spilled from the grasp of the hair tie, it may as well have been left loose. You notice how hunched over he is as he hobbles in your direction, how one of his hands remains pressed tightly to his stomach while the other faces you, palm-out. You can’t be sure whether it’s a gesture to show he’s unarmed or if it’s a display of the dried, cracking blood on his dark and sullied skin. In any case, you don’t think it through before you take a step towards him. With your brows furrowed and your chin jutted out, you ask, in a voice more confident than you thought yourself capable of, “You alone?”
“‘Lone as a Ranger,” He tells you in between his gasping breaths and the choice of words is a little confusing but not worth mentioning. Not when you’re hyper-aware of the weight of the bow and arrow in your hands, feeling almost as if they were taunting you in the reminder that if things went south, you’d be practically defenceless. With the much-too-slow draw speed and the short distance between you and the stranger you knew your weapons would prove to be a liability to your chances of survival.
“What happened?”
He uses a tree trunk to slowly guide himself to the floor as he speaks, eyes half-closed in a grimace. “I was runnin’ with a group somewhere way back West of here. Few f’us were already injured so we thought’a take refuge in that ruined church,” he leans his head back and exhales sharply while his hand presses tighter to his stomach. “‘Course, we didn’t know the place was already spoken for and — ah, Lord — a fight broke out. Got caught up in it, s’you can see.”
Well, you think as you take another step closer, it’s a believable story.
In a slow and carefully-measured movement you lay your weapons on the ground beside him, trusting that if he really is as injured as he claims to be he won’t have a chance of using them against you. You shuffle awkwardly onto your knees and wait for his consent to start checking him over to assess the damage. You almost can’t help it when you speak again, asking, “Why didn’t anybody from your group come with you to make sure you’re alright?”
In response to that he only gives a short, non-committal hum while you gently manoeuvre his hand away from his stomach so you can peel his shirt away from his skin. You knew what that hum meant. They didn’t survive. Then, just as you were about to ask your next question, he spoke again as if to answer it without it even being uttered, “Anyway, I thought comin’ into the woods would be better than staying out there.”
You don’t find yourself disagreeing — you can’t find yourself disagreeing — for you’d always been taught that the woods were perhaps one of the safest places you could be, should you ever find yourself away from the confines of a QZ or gated community. See, the woods are far too dense and lacking civilisation for the Infected population to pay any ‘mind’ to, and they are far too lacking in basic necessities for the Non-Infected population to consider taking refuge in unless there truly was no other choice. Abandoned buildings, as risky as they are, are the most feasible solution for a lot of people.
“Makes sense,” you finally mutter as you finish peeling his ripped and bloodied shirt away from the marred skin of his stomach. In his favour you fight back the urge to curse and wince once you see the extent of his injury; his once-intact abdomen has at least three major lacerations, each leaking their own steady, thick rivulets of blood. The skin around each tear is inflamed and angry-looking, unbearable hot to the touch. “A person did this?”
“He had blades taped to a baseball bat, swung’t me and — ah — you can see the result. Clever, really.”
After hearing this, you act entirely on instinct and slide your backpack off the shoulders. You unzip it with ease and reach in to receive a small container; if there is one thing that you had a talent for it’s finding supplies that you can use later down the line. Coincidentally, yesterday’s find happened to be a fully-equipped military-grade first-aid kit — yes, you’d found it near an armoured corpse near the entrance of the woods but that doesn’t minimise the legitimacy of them. No matter, you think while you pour a generous amount of rubbing alcohol onto some sort of cloth so you can begin cleaning the wounds. The thing that catches you off-guard, more so than you already were, is the fact that this mystery man stares up at you with perhaps the most dumbstruck expression you’ve ever seen on someone before he offers a near-incoherent ramble of his gratitude, which makes you wonder if he thought you were going to turn the other way when he approached you for help. If he thought you were just going to make the old man bear the brunt of the weight and loneliness that losing his friends and gaining this injury had bestowed upon him, all by himself.
“Apply pressure on it for me,” you tell him while you find his right hand and guide it over the cloth where you need it. He doesn’t even have the chance to ask why or what you’re doing because only a few seconds later you’ve pulled out an even smaller container and a bottle of water, which you unscrew and pour over your hands to rid them of the blood. Then, once your hands are dry, you open that smaller container and pull our a needle and thread, which you thread the needle of with almost-shaking hands. This time, you do wince. “You need stitches.”
He nods and lets out a deep breath as he shifts on the spot, letting you nudge his hand away from where he had been applying pressure to. With a glance at him, you don’t feel the need to tell him it will hurt; with all the scars he has over his body, you doubt that he’s a stranger to stitches. It doesn’t matter whether those marks came before or after the Outbreak, he had survived enough to know pain and it wasn’t your place to question it. And then you’re pushing the needle through his skin on both sides of the wound, actively fighting the building shudder and ‘eurgh’ sound that is so desperately building up in your body at the feeling of the sharp equipment penetrating the layers of his flesh. It surprises you, then, that he sighs gently and speaks to you directly in an almost comforting manner: “Don’t overthink it, Sunshine. You can do this.”
“S’just—“
Then, with as much energy as he can exert without jostling your needle-bearing fingers, he shakes his head. There’s enough determination in his gaze to make you pause for a few seconds. With a raised eyebrow and a slight frown, he tells you, “You can do it. S’not gonna hurt me more than what I’ve already got going on.”
With an absent-minded nod you focus on finishing the task at hand. By the time you’ve sewn his fourth wound shut, the sun begins to set; if the world hadn’t gone to pot twenty-one years ago you wonder what you’d spend your time doing right now, if you’d be as fascinated that you have made it through another day while the sun paints its gorgeous orange glow over everything. If you’d find the time to appreciate how this time of day can transform the most desolate and despair-ridden buildings into ones that look like they should be immortalised on a canvas. How everything that was once so bleak has a soft glimmer of hope and brightness to it.
“You should rest,” you say, carefully. “I’ll stay with you—“
“Absolutely not, Sunshine,” the mystery man says, cutting you off shamelessly. “M’just an old man, y’ain’t got no reason to waste your time tending to me. I’m a goner anyway, right?”
You bite your tongue harshly at that, shaking your head reproachfully. In fact, you make it a point to sit down at his right-hand side and lean against the tree trunk. He wouldn’t know that you’re sending silent prayers off in your mind to a deity that you’re not even sure you believe in anymore just for his safety. “You’ll make it…”
“Andrew,” he tells you, figuring out you were waiting for his name.
“You’ll make it through the night, Andrew.”
He nods, completely hesitant. “Okay, Sunshine…”
Next Part | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
it’s here!!! this was originally supposed to be a One-Shot but i got super invested and planned out a whole plotline so now it’s a series. joel will DEFINITELY be making an appearance, don’t worry, but this is a slow-burn fic! i have a very love-hate with this chapter but i’m not gonna start editing it again because i’m too tired for that.
i was also going to post this on the 27th april but i’m gonna be super busy that day so it’s early! perhaps i’ll have the next chapter out by then, who knows? not me!
or, if you’d prefer, check out some works by these fine folks!!: @endlessthxxghts @strang3lov3 @beefrobeefcal @janaispunk
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jakowskis · 5 months
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im SO pissed i didnt listen to believe for a fucking year bc i heard bad things about it. im never listening to anyone else's opinions again cuz THAT WAS BRILLIANT. THAT WAS EVERYTHING I WANT OUT OF TORCHWOOD i mean it was still a bit shit highkey but it was EXACTLY what i want out of this garbage show. sooo fucking season one core (aka my fav) all sorts of dark horrific connotations and unhealthy dynamics but no emotional weight or responsibility xD once again i cannot tell if the writer was even fucking AWARE of a lot of the things he was implying but what i interpreted as being implied is making me fucking tear up the floorboards im. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
that was so cynical and bitter and awful and miserable and edgy and shitty ITS EVERYTHING I WANTED. i love torchwood being goofy i do but what draws me into the show and the reason it's become one of my most, uh, aggressive hyperfixations ever (which is ridic btw) is cuz its FUCKED UP AND UNHAPPY and that? was fuuuuucked. obsessed.
cult leader jack cult leader jack cult leader jack U DONT UNDERSTAND IT MAKES ME RABID and they ran with it i. stick figure violence stick figure violence. feeling rabid. AND HIS FUCKING SPEECH AT THE END. DOES HE KNOW??? hes so fucking deluded I LOVE IT. ITS FASCINATING he thinks hes good.... he thinks hes good... hes aware n he feels responsible and yet he doesnt SEE he doesnt see he thinks hes doing his best. NOOO it had the be intentional literally "jack tell us what that was about" "later lol" "sure yeah always later" and then hes like "YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY" GRRR JACK. JACK. also faith n believing.... ianto's trust. ianto's trust. you believe me like a god FUCK MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEE
jack always being five steps ahead + being 10x more competent than the team always makes me fucking roll my eyes but at this point i just kind of perceive it as the way tw constantly paints him as a deity figure. he can do no wrong
GWENS CYNICISM. TORCHWOOD BREAKING HER. TORCHWOOD BREAKING HER!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK it's toxic... it's toxic... this job gets inside you THIS JOB GETS INSIDE YOUUU. torchwood thesis statement: this job fucking breaks you.
FINALLY some good fucking tosh x owen food. DONT GET ME WRONG THAT WAS FUCKING AWFUL but that was sooooooo much more compelling than the fucking bullshit that canon gave us. owen being a toxic abusive fucking manchild + doing smth bad enough to tosh that she FINALLY went "wow THATS the man im obsessing over" like g-d i would've killedddd for that to happen in the show i HATE that she wasted herself on him. i hate it. her disgust and anger at him was so THERAPEUTIC for me 😭 idk what it says about me that the way i was grinning when they were arguing n bitching at each other was probs the closest ive ever gotten to actually shipping them HFKJDSF theres smth wrong w me. i just think s2 tosh is too fucking sweet and good and probably naive and i think owen could so easily fuck her up, like i don't think there's a world where he wouldn't hurt her tbh, and i don't want that to happen i adore her too much. like i don't think he's irredeemable, i ship him w other characters who i think could handle him, but i don't think tosh could, and that was validation of that opinion, you know? i'd be more willing to ship them if tosh was firm with him and didn't let him walk all over her, and it sucks that she didn't do that and got herself hurt and THATS what it took to make her call him tf out and tell him how much he sucks. ig a lot of why towen bugs me sm boils down to the fact that im not comfortable shipping someone who's kind of awful with someone who idealizes them and doesn't seem to grasp the scale of how bad they are. that's a recipe for an unhealthy dynamic and if i didn't like tosh i might be intrigued by it ngl HFSKDF but thats my babygirl and the idea of putting her thru Being With Him disgusts me. she deserves better until he gets his fucking shit together. which he never does and she never gets to have something good bc she was waiting for his shitty ass lmao YAYY!!
owen was AWFUL in that btw. and i adored him in it. my fav owen is an owen who's spiraling and destructively fixated on something for selfish purposes to the point that he doesnt care who he hurts to accomplish it. he's so villain coded fhsdkfjdsk he redeems himself in the show and i love that but the audios further explore the fact that he's got such a darkness to him he SO EASILY can be pushed into destroying everything. hes constantly on the precipice of monstrosity and cruelty bc of his own hurt. it's like hes so full of rot it leaks out of him and infects others and he hates it but he cant help it. i will never get over the doctor with poison fingers oh he makes my heart ache. he's just so misguided. he's so broken.
which brings us back to jack's speech. (him talking to the cult leader lady) "They were broken, and you were the person they turned to for help. If you don’t accept their problems, then don’t offer yourself as a solution." literally im gonna think about this for months. HE DOESNT SEE!!!!!!!!!
g-d and ianto's orientation or whatever. that was Fantastic ianto insight. he's so much more interesting when he's away from jack it's almost impressive.
i am just. gdddddddddddddddddddddddd. i am so distraught. help meeee
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chatonnoir · 2 years
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Predictably adrienette fangirls are vagueposting me and to no one’s surprise they’re being dense and illiterate about it at that so I’m going to repeat myself about what my actual problem with pre-reveal adrienette is and maybe they’ll read it this time before they go on to write another 8 paragraphs about how much they supposedly don’t care about my opinion
I love Adrienette, contrary to how the Adrienette fangirls are trying to frame this is as just being about Side Preference, because considering that people’s upset could be anything more than “they’re just salty it wasn’t their favorite side 💅” is apparently too complex a concept to grasp. You know why Adrienette could never be my favorite side of the square, though?
The problem is the show never let them be what they could be at their best because it always chose to prioritize drama. Things like their adventures in Gorizilla and them joking around together in Puppeteer 2... they never gave me more of it. They always chose cliche contrived drama and drawing out the will they won't they """tension"""" over letting them spend real time together and get close. And that just makes me mourn the fact its only this way because the majority of people think THATS the most interesting part of a ship. Why let Adrienette get to the point of being able to comfortably hang out together as close friends when that "diminishes" the """tension"""" after all??? No one wants to see FRIENDSHIP silly!
This side is always plagued with corny forced drama and manufactured "tension" more than other, which is achieved by not letting Adrienette get close as friends at all costs and throwing in waste my time bullshit like love rivals to extend the runtime of said "tension". Every seemingly promising scene with them becomes a microcosm of this phenomenon. Puppeteer 2 was nice but the comfort and joking around together didn't stick and they cut it short with more of that love triangle "the girl you're in love with?" bullshit. I was excited when it seemed like Marinette was going to join the fencing team in Riposte because their interactions in that scene were cute and I was happy to see them spend more time together and become comfortable while sharing this common interest, only for it to turn out that that was all to introduce a goddamn love rival plot that amounted to nothing besides developing the friendship between the two protagonists and said love rival more than their friendship to .... each other. Again, gotta prioritize the Tension!!1!1!!
I've said if I wanted to watch another generic school romance I'd choose to watch a much better one than pre-reveal Adrienette. One example? Anne/Gilbert. I'm going to talk about the Netflix version here: Anne/Gilbert feels a bit like what Adrienette might've been if the umbrella scene didn't happen and it took longer for Marinette to warm up to him. Anne gets awkward and babbles and puts her foot in her mouth around Gilbert.  Gilbert is all smitten smiles and soft looks when he sees her being Anne(TM) and being her weird self or standing up for what’s right. But that's not all. They're good friends. They have a rivalry. They tease each other. They argue. He tells her directly when he disagrees with something she did. They challenge each other’s perspectives. They grieve together. They hold each other and cry after they lose someone important to them. Anne’s the first person Gilbert wants to tell about things that happen to him. Gilbert comes to Anne to discuss his future when he's confused. This was all before they were even together. This is the depth and rawness and realness that I wish Adrienette gave me. Alas, it's Ladynoir that has all that depth and closeness, while I'm not even convinced Adrienette can even be considered "close" at the end of season 4. Three hundred “soft looks” scenes only go so far. They only just scratched the surface of said closeness with Risk, and even that wasn't entirely organic considering it took magic to get it to happen. I hoped that would finally be the start of letting Adrienette get closer as friends and have some real substance and--- oops! They're dating now lol.
Weird as hell that Adrienette fangirls are being like “you all think platonic relationships are less than romantic ones and it shows 💅 one lovesquare side getting together doesn’t kill the others” acting like they really did something when … the whole fucking issue here is that Adrienette needed to develop as friends. Even if we ignore the fact that this is a piece of fucking Romance media and therefore not the place to whine about the value of platonic love when the romantic development is literally the main fucking plot, Ladynoir has had all the depth and platonic development and platonic love built up already. Ladynoir is fully realized. They've struggled and been at odds and reconciled and seen each other at their best and worst and grown together. It’s Adrienette that’s lacking in platonic development, it’s Adrienette that some of us wanted to have developed into a strong platonic relationship first but apparently, for reasons unknown, they’re incapable of being friends and needed to date to have any of that long overdue development. The Adrienette stans KNOW they needed development, they even defend pre-reveal Adrienette by saying they needed the development, but bizarrely y'all think it absolutely had to happen through speed running pre-reveal dating rather than uh..... friendship. Are ladynoir stans really the ones failing to see the value of platonic love here lol
One thing I always hated that this fandom did was treat romantic love as an ulterior motive or somehow shallow. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that once again that theme comes up in the defense of this plot point with “nOw LaDyNoIr CaN bE fRiEnDs wItHoUt uLtErIoR mOtIvEs.” I’m sorry some of y’all think someone wanting to get closer to another person or having affection for them is an ulterior motive lol. Maybe this is the consequence of how hollywood and popular culture has equated romantic love to sexual tension. Maybe this is why I’m having to listen to adrienette fangirls say deranged shit like “ladynoir was meant to be the platonic side and adrienette was meant to be the lovers side uwu” because of course, a deep bond built on real trust and friendship and affection with someone who you can share things you can’t with most others, a relationship reminiscent of what actual healthy romantic relationships look like in real life, isn’t romantic at all, but forced Tension and contrived schoolgirl drama, apparently, is romantic.
In case some Adrienette fangirls are still having trouble with reading comprehension: I love adrienette and everything they could be. I hate how they’re often handled in canon. When I talk about what Ladynoir has that Adrienette does not, that’s me explaining how their writing and development was handled better and how Adrienette isn’t allowed to reach that point, not why one side is “superior” lol. Despite me saying this I know Adrienette stans are still going to take it as a personal attack when I point out the objective fact that Ladynoir has the closer and more developed relationship lol
The past four seasons but season 4 more than any other established these themes of truth vs. lies and secrets and the importance of being honest with your loved ones and how secrets are hurting them more than they’re helping. They were even in the fucking titles of the first three episodes of the season. And it seemed so obviously to be building up to a reveal, of course the culmination of all the interpersonal conflicts and anguish they’re going through would be the two of them revealing their identities right? No, actually, the solution to the question of truth/lies/secrets posed at the beginning of season 4 is ….. for Adrien and Marinette to have sex.
That’s right, folks. Not identity reveal, not for Adrien and Marinette to be honest with each other the way Alya and Nino were, the culmination of this conflict is …. For them to have sex. The picnic blanket date scene where they lay down and try to kiss only for Marinette to be “Not Ready” and for Adrien to tell her that he can Wait For Her <3, which takes place in the same spot as the implied GabrielxEmilie Adrien Conception Picnic, is an unsubtle first time sex metaphor. Fuck honesty and personal growth! Fuck Adrien and Marinette actually saying goodbye to their best friends! "I'll never abandon you" and "never do that to me again" and "I'm afraid of you disappearing for my life" all didn't mean fuck all when it comes to getting fucked on a picnic blanket! The rest of the lovesquare got thrown over because Adrien and Marinette are just so fucking horny apparently :’) This is what the pre-reveal Adrienette stans are calling peak romance and the best season of the show. My god
Though I can’t say this kind of contrived botched unnecessary conflict and nonsensical “development” on the Adrienette side is new to this season. Adrienette stans were noting the Glaciator 2 -> Risk """"development"""" like "look! Marinette stopped seeing Adrien's sadness as an Opportunity to Win him and listened to his feelings! Character/Relationship development 😌✨" Except.... no. That wasn't development that ever needed to happen. Marinette was already capable of seeing Adrien's sadness way back in season 1 (Rogercop) and of caring more to see him happy than about pushing her own feelings on him (the scarf in Bubbler + being his 3rd wheel in Frozer). Then Glaciator 2 decides to introduce this asinine "Adrien is sad now's my chance!!1!1!" moment so that y'all can later pretend Adrienette had a development moment here when it REALLY didn't. That was literally not what was holding her back for the past 4 seasons. That was a solution to a problem that never existed in the first place.
The drawn-out “not being ready to kiss Adrien” conflict this season is a completely new invention too because guess what: We had Chat Blanc! We SAW Marinette was already happily ready to kiss Adrien in full view of her friends back in season 3!!! Pre-reveal Adrienette is repeatedly negating past characterization and past development and past established themes for its forced drama and Adrienette stans are shutting their eyes to that fact because uuwwwu cute Adrienette scenes!!!11!!!1
(And y’all know people can enjoy the scenes/think they’re cute while still disliking the plotpoint/writing surrounding it, right? Or is that still too complex a thought for this fandom)
The fear of rejection has been there for the past 7 years, ready to be tackled at any moment. Those of us that actually paid attention to Marinette’s character, and weren’t just projecting ourselves and our high school fantasies on to her like a lot of these pre-reveal Adrienette stans, were all waiting for it to naturally payoff with a Marinette confession scene, regardless of the outcome. Let her overcome that rejection sensitive dysphoria!!!! Oh, wait, nevermind, now that problem has been gleefully skipped over and apparently the REAL issue is that Marinette can’t kiss Adrien. Fucking Phenomenal. Marinette already knows Adrien loves her and was able to completely skip over the "overcoming her fear of rejection" part but she's still scared for some reason and everyone is going to pretend this is so compelling and soft uwu and not completely lackluster compared to the powerful character moment that could've been if she'd been allowed to confront this fear pre-relationship. The past 4 seasons of her trying and failing to tell Adrien how she feels were actually just more dilly dallying contrived runtime expansion because that issue was never going to be something she needed to overcome through Facing Said Fear, apparently. Adrien had adequate development in realizing he needed to drop the Cat-sanova schtick with Ladybug if he wanted to be seen for who he is. On Marinette's side of the personal growth and development? Crickets. She’s just a scared little animal who needs Adrien to handle it all for her uwu. She never needed to do any growing, it was always Adrien! Adrien’s Feelings were always the obstacle actually! It’s Adrien’s job to make this all happen! Fuck seeing our protagonist taking initiative and overcoming that seasons-long fear in a satisfying confession payoff I guess!
There were conditions under which I actually would’ve accepted pre-reveal Adrienette, like for example actually getting that confession scene, but the way it played out in canon flopped. I thought ML was following the Raimi Spider-Man plot, which it has been in many ways, but even those movies had Peter Reject Mary Jane after she finally realized she loved him, and only let them get together after his identity was revealed and Mary Jane was able to accept that Spider-Man and Peter Parker are a package deal. Here’s another example of an actual good school romance I’d choose over pre-reveal Adrienette every time: Sawako and Kazehaya. The pinnacle of sweet slowburn slice of life school romance. Kurumi, an actually effective romantic rival character, tells Sawako that she’s not worthy of being called her rival if she simply gives up and wallows without ever actually mustering up the courage to confess her feelings to Kazehaya. The love rival got rejected and got her heart broken, only to be the one who pushed the protagonist to confess, and then we got a beautiful, emotional confession scene where Sawako, despite all her shyness and anxiety, puts herself out there and pours her heart out and tells Kazehaya that she loves him, all Without Knowing Her Feelings Are Returned. It was powerful and satisfying and tear-jerking and earned and it put the reigns in our protagonists’ hands. Pre-reveal Adrienette flopped with this. Now I’m going to have to endure the fans acting like this half-season-long contrived drama/first time sex metaphor was the REAL issue all along and that it’s actually a well-written and compelling conflict. Now they’re going to pretend Marinette continuing to be afraid to confess and having to overcome that while already knowing Adrien loves her is in any way logical or satisfying. Who cares about seeing our protagonist take initiative and grow and be rewarded for it!
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the same people who are rallying for this shit are some of the same people who’ve put Adrien salt on my dash and whine about Chameleon on a monthly basis because it was already clear from those salt takes that they clearly do not understand these characters. It was never about character growth for Marinette. Narrative themes never really mattered. It’s all about the self-projection. The people who are happiest about this are the Marinette kinnies who think Adrien needed to learn a lesson and Finally Notice and Appreciate NormalGirl Marinette and/or stop being “pushy” with Ladybug and learn his Lesson to blindly follow Marinette through all Chameleon-esque drama in the future. They love the idea of having that celebrity boycrush romance fall in to their laps with no personal reflection or growth on their own parts and they love their self-insert Marinette having an echo chamber entourage of friends that follow her blindly and never disagree with her if she has personal beef with someone. The inequality and double standard -- that Adrien's original crush was treated as the Obstacle that he had to Grow from and Get Over while Marinette's isn't -- isn't a problem to the Marinette kinnies because to them it's always everyone else's fault for not Appreciating or being Loyal Enough to Marinette of course. It was never about her growing. The real problem was always Adrien ~~~being too blinded by red and black to notice the cute girl behind him in class uwuwuww~~~ or however that cornyass cliche shitty fanfic line always goes.
Pre-reveal Adrienette has framed the rest of the lovesquare, and especially Adrien's feelings for Ladybug, as a simple obstacle that always stood in the way of the end goal of Adrienette, not a completed/fully realized square. Pre-reveal Adrienette decided that the entire point of the season 4 conflict was actually about making Adrien finally ~get over~ Ladybug so he'd ~notice~ Marinette. Pre-reveal Adrienette made it so Alya's entire role in Season 4 was actually just to get in-between Ladynoir to reach this end. Pre-reveal Adrienette started with the two of them bizarrely forgetting about the existence of their superhero best friends and ghosting them to get laid, which, seeing the later eps, was clearly just a summary of how this entire phase of their relationship is going to play out. Pre-reveal Adrienette bizarrely snubs the years-long plotline of Marinette's romantic feelings for Chat Noir after just 3 episodes of exploring them (even the Adrienette stans are relying on pure speculation of future episodes to justify this shit, you know, when they're not relying on their asspull argument that ladynoir stans just "think platonic relationships are less than romantic ones and it shows 💅🤪").
It’s hilarious to hear pre-reveal Adrienette fangirls vaguepost like “you’re just mad it wasn’t your favorite side 💅” when I’ve said multiple times that I would not have been satisfied with pre-reveal Ladynoir either because I Wanted to see that climactic Marinette confession moment and see Marinette’s fear of rejection handled in a satisfying way (and my dream for season 5 was to see all 4 sides openly simping), meanwhile it’s exceedingly clear these Adrienette stans are making a lot of excuses and hinging their defenses of pre-reveal Adrienette on pure speculation (lmao when their justification depends on future, yet-to-be-seen episodes being Better) and retroactively rewriting the past four seasons to ignore the abandoned themes and to tell anyone who doesn’t like it that they're just salty about their own side and were actually hallucinating all the blatant themes in the past seasons and to pretend this writing isn’t completely disjointed and nonsensical because they’re actually the ones who only care about seeing their favorite side be canon 🤷‍♀️
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astrabear · 2 years
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Halloween idea #2:
Joe pulled her aside at the first opportunity. He was very kind about it. "Andy will never say anything herself, she doesn't like to draw attention to it, but... you really shouldn't make jokes about her being worshiped. It's not a joking matter."
Nile just stared at him blankly. "How do you think I found out in the first place? She joked about it with me."
"Really? That's... huh. That's very unlike her. How did that come up? What did she say?"
"She saw me praying, and she said God didn't exist, and that she was worshiped as a God, and that none of it means anything."
Joe took her hand and sat them both down on a bench. "All right, using it as a dig at organized religion, that makes a little more sense. Andy doesn't think much of prayer. But I'm serious, Nile. Don't keep bringing it up. Especially not now, not when everything else is so..." he waved his free hand vaguely "...fraught."
"You make it sound like some kind of trauma."
Joe stared at her, low enough below her face that she started getting uncomfortable, until she realized he was looking at her cross. "You don't think being a god can be traumatic?" Before she could do more than awkwardly grasp her necklace, he went on. "Her people had a bad season, and then another, and then another. Diseases, livestock dying, food stores running low. And then there was a hard winter, and not enough to eat. First the elders died, and then the youngest children, and they were desperate, and she was desperate to save them."
"She didn't... "
Joe smiled bitterly. "Communion and the miracle of loaves and fishes all in one."
Nile squeezed her necklace until her hand hurt, and fought down a tide of nausea. When she opened her eyes, Joe was looking back, with a little of his usual humor showing in his face again. "I'm not saying it's a taboo subject or that you have to be careful about triggering her. It's just not a joke, that's all."
"Yeah. Yeah, I get that. That is definitely not funny." He got up to leave, but she grabbed his wrist. "Hey, Joe? Why did they stop worshiping her? Wouldn't they keep on forever, after that?"
He sighed. "Some time after the famine passed, there was a drought. And she couldn't give them water; all she had was blood."
He knelt down suddenly, one knee on the bench and his face inches from hers. "That's all this gift lets us give, Nile. You'll want to give more, someday - your heart, your soul, your sanity. There will be problems that blood can't fix, and you'll want to fix them anyway, and you won't be able to. All we can give is blood."
She saw it, in his eyes. Rivers of blood, oceans of blood, their own blood that they'd shed, and others' blood that they'd spilled. She tried to remember the board in Copley's house. They'd bought those lives with blood, the only currency they had. And she imagined Andy, bleeding and bleeding for thousands of years, until she'd finally bled herself dry. How much of the world's population was descended from the people she'd fed and saved all those millennia ago?
She released her necklace, gave it a small pat to check that it was undamaged, and wiped her sweaty palm on her thigh. "Ok, Joe. Thank you. I understand."
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menaceadored · 2 years
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Pretty In Pink | Ronance
Summary: Nancy Wheeler is alone in her bedroom, her mind filled with thoughts of freckles and blue eyes. Of long, ring clad fingers. And suddenly she's breathless. Flushed pink from head to toe.
Word Count: 2288
Tags: 18+, implied sexual content, pining, closeted nancy wheeler, heavy use of the word pink, pre-ronance, post-season 4, unfinished work
A/N: i actually had a plan for this one and would like to add to this at some point. however, this has been sitting in my drafts, untouched for at least a month. so, for now let's call this part 1 and i'll come back to it later (hopefully). clearly you can see where it's headed
Nancy Wheeler is alone in her bedroom, door closed and curtains drawn. The only light in the room comes from her two lamps, one on either side of her bed. The dim lighting paired with the pink of her walls casts her bedroom in a soft, rosy hue. She’s dressed in pajamas, a matching set. The pearl white buttons are done up completely on her pastel pink top, her chest adorned with flowers in a circular pattern. The matching shorts fall just below her upper thigh, much shorter than anything she’d wear outside the privacy of her bedroom. Her curls are damp where they’re piled up in a high ponytail atop her head, having just showered before settling down. The shorter curls of her bangs have slipped loose and frame her face in an endearing way. 
She feels warm and comfortable, her skin soft from the heat of the shower and she finds herself sinking deeper into the comforter. She’s laying on her stomach on her bed atop the pink and blue bedding, a book in her grasp and her feet, dressed in white socks, kicking aimlessly into the air behind her. Her eyes skim over the same sentence in her book once more. She’s finding it difficult to focus on the words on the page, a pleasant yet distracting electricity thrumming beneath her skin.
She’s propped up on her elbows, one of her hands holds up the book, the other is focused on her mouth. Her thumb absently tracing her bottom lip, pulling it down and releasing it every so often. At this angle, if she thinks about it, she can feel where her nipples catch on the fabric of her shirt, her braless tits pressed into the bed. 
She doesn’t think about it. Not yet.
Wants to draw it out for as long as she can stand it. Tease herself before she finally gives in. So for now, her thumb traces her plush pink lip.
But clearly she’s having no luck reading.
She’s kept a bookmark between the cover and first page and she takes it now, placing it between the two pages, successfully marking her spot. She might be struggling to read the book now, but she’ll return to it later. She gently closes the book and places it off to the side. 
With the book discarded, she crosses her arms atop her comforter and buries her head in them, just resting there for a moment. Her feet cease their kicking and her legs go lax against the mattress. She feels as if she’s sinking deeper into the warmth of her comfortable bed and if she weren’t so desperately horny, she imagines she could fall asleep, just like this. But no, that’s not what she wants.
So, after resting for a moment, she begins to slowly spread her legs, bringing her lower half up to rest on her knees. Completely spread out. She imagines how she looks. Face and chest pressed into the mattress, her back arched, her bottom elevated. The tiny pink sleep shorts she wears do little to hide what’s beneath them and she allows herself to imagine what she’d look like if she took them off and resumed this position.
She hasn’t even touched herself, but she can feel herself dripping beneath her shorts where she wears no panties, just soaking the taut pink fabric between her spread thighs. A part of her feels like she could get off from this alone, just from the thought of being observed like this. She imagines ring clad hands reaching out to her, long fingers covered in freckles. Imagines them just barely grazing the swell of her ass before moving where she really wants them, a ghost of a touch over her shorts where they press into her soaking-
A full body shudder overtakes her. Too much. Too soon.
She sits up on her knees then, deciding to change positions once again. Her face is red and warm from her previous thoughts and from being buried in her arms. The heat continues down her chest, so she decides to undo a few buttons on her top. Once she’s finished undoing the top three, she lies on her back, resting against the collection of pillows she has gathered at her headboard. She catches her breath, staring up at her ceiling at nothing in particular.
Her hands rest by her sides on top of the comforter. She resists the urge to touch, resists the urge to press her thighs together. Decides to unbutton her shirt the rest of the way. Her fingers, the fingernails trimmed short and painted a pretty pastel pink, much like her pajamas, move slowly over the last of the pearly white buttons. She undoes them one by one, allows her wrists to graze her nipples over the fabric of her shirt as her hands travel down. Her breath catching at their sensitivity. But for now she doesn’t stop to touch.
When all of the buttons are finally undone, she pulls the shirt open. Lets either side of the fabric fall away, displaying her tits to the empty bedroom. She lays her hands back in their previous position on either side of her, flat on the bed. By now the urge to touch is much stronger. Her fingers curl into the fabric of the comforter below her. She’s cooled down now from her shower and with her shirt open as it is, she becomes aware of the chill in the air. 
Her nipples are hard. 
The lighting in the room brings out their natural flush where they sit atop her pert breasts. She wants to pinch them, roll them between her fingers. Better yet, she wants someone else to. A spark shoots up her spine at the thought, eliciting another sharp intake of breath. Patience.
Nancy knows who she wants to imagine, who she’s been imagining ever since spring break. It’s sort of a secret she keeps with herself. Only allowing herself to admit it in the privacy of her bedroom, on late nights like this. When she allows herself to give into the want, touch herself where she so desperately needs, her mind filling with images of one person in particular. Of freckles and blue eyes. Of long, ring clad fingers. 
Of how she wants them to touch her.
Robin.
Somehow the girl, with her gangly form and anxious babbling, has charmed Nancy in a way she’s never been before. It doesn’t make any sense. And yet, she wants her. She wants her in all her awkward clumsiness and ramble. And she wants her in every sense of the word. She wants her romantically, wants to keep her, spend as much time with her as possible, never leave her side if she can help it.
 It is embarrassing.
They aren’t even together. Have only been friends for a few months now. And, though a part of her suspects, she doesn’t know for sure if Robin likes women in that way.
She doesn’t know if she likes women in that way.
And yet, she wants her. 
And on nights like this, she wants her in a very particular way. In a way that leaves her breathless. Flushed pink from head to toe.
Now that she’s finally allowed herself to think the other girl's name, she’s brought back to the emptiness of her bedroom. Only now, she lets herself imagine it’s not so empty. 
Maybe, Robin would sit at the foot of her bed, her gaze meeting Nancy’s own before falling to her exposed tits, her gray-blue eyes filling with want.
In reality, she can’t imagine a scenario in which she’d find herself laying nearly topless on her bed while Robin sat at the end, just looking at her. But this is a fantasy. In her fantasies, she can do whatever she wants. Can kiss girls. She can even have sex with girls. And she doesn’t have to explain herself or these feelings. Because in a fantasy, in the privacy of her bedroom and the privacy of her own thoughts, it doesn't matter if the fantasy makes sense or not because the only one who knows about it is her.
So she pictures Robin sitting at the foot of her bed, looking at her. She’d probably be wearing suspenders or a tie with whatever outfit she’s wearing. The details don’t matter so much. But Nancy briefly lets herself imagine grabbing onto the tie and pulling Robin down, her lips meeting her own in a desperate kiss, her tongue slipping into her mouth and- 
But she’s getting ahead of herself. Wants to take it slow until she can’t.
She allows her thighs to squeeze together, gives herself just a little to wane off some of the need. She inhales, sighing deeply, she’s already so sensitive. Doubts she’ll last long when she finally touches herself where she really wants.
Her eyes slip closed, finds it easier to picture it this way.
She imagines Robin’s eyes meeting hers again as she starts edging her way up the bed on her hands and knees. One of her hands hooking under Nancy’s left knee and pulling it up into a bend as she reaches her. Sliding into the space between her legs, spreading them open.
Nancy brings her left knee up like she’s imagined Robin doing, spreading her legs as if making room for the other girl. Her sock clad heel digs into the bedspread.
“This okay?” Robin asks, because of course she would. She’d be so attentive. And Nancy nods, bringing her bottom lip between her teeth as she gazes up at Robin through her eyelashes. Robin’s hand moves from its place on her knee, fingers applying pleasant pressure as they come to rest on Nancy’s hip.
Nancy follows the line up her thigh where she imagines Robin’s fingers would touch. When she reaches the jut of her hip bone, she kneads the flesh there in slow circles, the simple motion filling core her with pleasant little tingles.
Robin’s other hand comes to rest on Nancy’s nape and it’s now that Nancy allows herself to pull Robin down by her tie, her other hand slipping into Robin’s hair. Their mouths meet, Robin’s pillowy pink lips meeting Nancy’s own. Her tongue slipping in effortlessly alongside Nancy’s.
Nancy’s other hand comes up, her index and middle fingers tracing her bottom lip as she imagines Robin kissing her. She imagines Robin would taste almost sweet. Imagines if she ever got the chance to kiss the girl, she’d crave the taste of her lips almost as much as she craves her touch.
Robin pulls away, her eyes closed for a moment as she regains her breath. when they finally open, her gaze is needy. Nancy watches as her eyes drop to her tits once more before returning to her own just as quick. “Can I touch you?” 
“Please.” The word is breathy as it falls from Nancy’s lips, already gasping just from kissing the other girl.
Nancy utters the word aloud to her otherwise silent bedroom and for a moment, she opens her eyes, embarrassed. She lets her right hand fall from her lips, falling to rest on the pillow beside her head. The fingers on her hip cease their kneading, curling into the rosy fabric of her sleep shorts. Her eyes slip closed as she sucks in a slow breath, releasing it in a grounding sigh. 
She turns her head to look at the hand resting beside her. Just looking. She watches as her hand falls to rest on her shoulder, eyes tracing the movement as her fingers glide across her skin. They make her way down across her collarbone, pressing into the dip there for a moment, before continuing on down. Her touch is featherlight as her fingers drift over the valley between her breasts. Coming finally to rest on the jut of her ribs, her blush colored fingernails scratching lightly over soft skin there.
Her other hand moves up from her hip, coming to rest parallel to the other on her ribcage. She scratches her nails lightly over either side of her ribs, causing what feels like tiny sparks of electricity go off beneath her fingertips. She brings her fingers to a close, meeting in the dip between her abs, just resting there. She watches the rise and fall of her chest for only a moment before her eyes drift shut once more.
Robin smiles softly at her plea. Her hands come to rest on Nancy’s ribs, just below her breasts. The fingers kneading into her skin. Her gaze is locked on her tits now, only breaking to meet Nancy’s every so often. She looks a little nervous. And Nancy realizes she probably hasn’t done this before. Not with a girl. Not with anyone. The thought is sort of thrilling. 
“Tell me… Tell me where you want me to touch you.” Robin says, blue eyes wide, almost innocent. Nancy feels her expression shifting into a grin. The energy in the room shifting. She’s more than happy to take the lead.
Her hands move to grasp at Robin’s, fingers curling around her wrists. “Robin.”
Robin looks at her then and Nancy hums, pleased. “I want you to touch me here,” she moves Robin’s left hand up to her breasts. “And when you’re ready…” With her fingers still circled around her wrist, she moves Robin’s right hand down over the plains of her stomach and lower, catching briefly on the waistband of her shorts until their hands come to rest over her clothed pussy. “Here.” 
She watches as Robin’s eyes grow even wider, her face flushing furiously. “Are- You’re sure?” Nancy can’t help but chuckle. She’s so sweet. Nancy nods assuredly, “Positive.”
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strititty · 2 years
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per my last reblog i decided to ramble in about nerds aint got shit, my most popular fic.
well, ostensibly i’m rambling about that but honestly i have 3 am motormouth and i took an edible so im just in that sort of mood, you know. all philosophical like. more under the cut
i wrote that fic in 2015 for drone season, when i was living in - and i cannot stress this enough - the MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE, though not as much as i would be the year afterward. my internet was shitty cornfield hotspot net and it was the summer after my first year of college so i had a helluva lot on my mind already.
the original document was just a little notepad file with word wrap turned on cuz that’s how i used to write all my shit, and i’d send people wips via pastebin. can you even imagine? PASTEBIN? i use google docs now but sometimes i wonder if i should go back to notepad lmao. smaller size, less evil google involved. when i was a kid i used word, though i can’t remember when that stopped being a thing. might have been during high school.
since i wrote nerds aint got shit so shortly after i had graduated high school i had a very clear picture of my OWN high school in my head, which probably lends itself to some weird stylistic quirks. my high school was very very small. i shan’t name it, of course, lmao, what am i some sort of fool? but it was tiny as hell and that tends to infect any sort of high school adjacent au i write. rereading it i can so clearly picture MY high school that it’s frankly a little funny.
fortunately my high school only had one creepy teacher and it wasnt the PE teacher + we got his ass fired, but fiction makes for a much more fun place to explore these sorts of ideas for me. idk why i have such a thing about age differences & teacher/student fics but i SURE DO.
i can still remember the summer days writing this fic, kind of, in a hazy way. i remember my phone being the only way i could connect with my friends and loved ones, and the sun beating down, and the way things were far too hot in my little room. my cat had gotten out and gotten pregnant by a farm cat, so i had to cough up money to get her fixed - she should have been already but the people i lived with were less concerned about that sort of thing and i’d been at college so i hadn’t been able to make my case. the kittens were cute but tiny and stunted b/c my cat was very young and small & only two of them survived. i think the third one was stillborn and that my cat ate that one, but since i wasn’t there when they were born i didn’t get a lot of the details.
i still think about this fic sometimes for the memories it draws up and the plans i have to revamp and add on to it--my initial idea was a sort of 7 day format where dave goes back to bro every day of the week, but that was a plot for when i was a more prolific writer with a clearer grasp of smut. now im lucky if i can get a coherent smutty fic down in a few weeks god save me lmao. i don’t know if it’s because i’m older or just a little more burned out.
it was a fun idea though and i do semi frequently consider revisiting it, especially when i get the energy and inspiration to write strider stuff. right now that energy is being conserved for certain other works but hey you never know.
i feel like there’s also a hundred points i could make about how my most popular fic is also my oldest homestuck fic, like. yeah, okay, homestuck was more popular back then, so it makes sense that it would have more kudos and what not. hs fanfic is a much quieter affair now, between the fandom controversy, the natural drop that happens after something ends, and how half of all fandom seems to be girlbossing too close to the hayes code. brodave used to get you 200 kudos and now you get like 20!
and you know i don’t like. hate that. i do post for engagement but i never really expected to be POPULAR you know what i mean? more like sharing this thing i wrote about something i’m interested in-- “i wrote this for me but you can read it too, please enjoy!” energies. but i think that it’s so interesting that something that is now approaching its eighth birthday (What The Fuck) had its biggest surge of participants ages ago. i wonder what they’re doing now and actually whatever theyre doing i hope theyre having fun with it but i don’t need to know because i’ve been burned before okay. ppl turning into fancops or whatever. shitty as hell.
the hour grows late so i shall return to the actual topic at hand:
nerds aint got shit’s ill-begotten romance. that shit was gonna be so toxic. i was definitely gonna write dave growing to sympathize with bro, kind of, with his crush fueled by terror kicked into overdrive. bro’s kind of a sad and pathetic weirdo even though to dave (and this is real, not imagined, dave’s not making it up) he is a significant threat. and dave was going to start to pick up those sad jerk vibes in addition to the horny vibes and start to, in an almost lalondian fashion, romanticize the shit out of it.
in a manner of speaking, anyway. im not sure if that was my full plan or what but there’s also just the gremlin brain breathing heavily going “god this is my favorite dynamic” which back then was fairly true. i had also written almost 20k of original teacher/student fiction so romanticizing that was not a new concept to me. i think there’s a part of me that does want to be in that place, you know, but from a safe distance where it’s also just fun and games.
that’s why fics are fun! that’s why trashy romance is fun :) insert something about ace kink here. i do not want to actually touch it but mentally touching it is ok.
nowadays i don’t write so much teacher/student fic tho im still hells of deep in my love of age differences. more often than not i find myself kind of drawn to a cougar/kid in their late teens dynamic nowadays for original fiction, tho i also love ancient vampire/regular human and just minor age and experience differences.
(jotting down ‘rose lalonde as a cougar’ for a future fic idea thanks)
i think ive grown away from this fic mostly, but it feels like a wild time capsule to me, and maybe one day i will unearth it to add more. maybe in 2025 for the a ten year anniversary.
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