#I think if I was more attached emotionally into the relationships between characters I'll have been more moved by the game

[miyakuli]

OPUS: Echo of Starsong

OPUS: Echo of Starsong is a visual novel mixing exploration and resource management, in a sci-fi universe. We follow the story of 3 characters, Jun, Eda and Remi who will by force of circumstances join forces to lead a quest full of adventures and emotions.

If the work on the universe is meticulous, I remain less enthusiastic than most reviews with respect to certain details of gameplay or writing.

❤ A very detailed and vast lore in terms of mythology, places (really a lot to visit!), items, clans etc….I was impressed by the richness of this universe (and I hope that a french version will see the light of day to be able to immerse myself in it more easily). ❤ Very nice visually both for the exploration phases, with its beautiful light effects, and for the illustrations. ❤ Very beautiful music that accompanies us throughout the story. ❤ A well-written story that brings its share of emotions.

+/- The characters are likeable and it's easy to get attached to this small group, but I think that the development of their relationship gives an impression of "too fast" even though the story unfolds over several months. Idk, I think maybe there should have been a little more interaction between them because I had the impression that their relationship was kind of evolving "behind the scenes". +/- Resource management in space is a great idea! but it's much too confusing at the start, the game does not explain to us how each resource or item works so we can be easily fooled.

✖ Cave explorations are very repetitive and slow. Also the puzzles aren't really puzzles, you just follow the path and unlock the doors without much effort. ✖ No manual saving system or to quit the game, it's not practical at all. The automatic saves are also quite spaced out. ✖ Lots of repeated flashbacks; in an anime it's okay but in a game, it breaks the rhythm and you get a little impatient imo.

I've always had a weakness for space operas and I think I recognized influences from Macross with this alliance between music and politics, which was pretty nice to me <3 I come out of this game with a certain satisfaction despite my few reservations, and I would like to dive back into it on occasion, not necessarily to relive the story (it's linear so nothing more to unlock) but to explore more of its vast universe :)

➡ My personal VN ranking (in french) ➡ My Steam page

[purrpleowl]

I don't know if anyone has mentioned something like this already, but this thought has been on my mind for quite some time;

You know who I wanted to see having a duet with Alastor (song battle style)? Velvette.

Hear me out.

There's something similar between the two songs Alastor interrupts, Stayed Gone and Hell's Greatest Dad, especially when it comes to the duality between Alastor's part and the other person's part. Something that I admit I didn't notice at first, but I saw some people commenting on.

Let's talk about Stayed Gone first: all Vox has to say is that Alastor is old and Vox is new. He uses different words every time (fossil, barely audible, his medium is getting rare...), but that's his only argument. While Alastor attacks right into Vox's insecurities. He says that Vox's content is low quality and inconsistent, he belittles Vox's power, and pokes at the wound that was Alastor refusing to "join Vox's team" (whatever that means, not important for my point here).

In Hell's Greatest Dad, Lucifer talks about how he can be useful to Charlie. How he can give her Champagne fountains & caviar mountains without charging her. Alastor focuses on how his relationship to Charlie is (supposedly) very close. He says he's faithful to her, that he makes her laugh, that they have a special bond... Which is what Charlie values most.

ALL THAT TO SAY that Alastor is very good at reading the room, figuring out what people are on about. Now, what other demon we see that has showed to have those same skills and has used them to her advantage in the show? That's right, Velvette.

With a SINGLE glance, she was able to identify that Carmilla was the one that killed the exorcist because of her facial expressions and body language. And then she proceeded to poke Carmilla and Zestial until one of them snapped.

Also, just like I bet Alastor definitely doesn't believe a single word he's saying to Charlie in Hell's Greatest Dad, he just wanted to get under Lucifer's skin while manipulating Charlie, I highly doubt Velvette was serious about starting an actual war with the angels. She (and the Voys too, probably) had a suspicion that it had been an overlord who did it, and she went and tested the theory.

I just think it would be great to finally see someone publicly call Alastor out on all of his bullshit, and Velvette is (in my opinion, of course) a very good character for the role. Besides being very perceptive and good at reading into people's bullshit (she also does that with Vox when she is introduced btw).

She likes to annoy old people, she probably has some background on Al that Vox possibly provided her while lacking the insecurities that Vox has when it comes to Alastor.

It would be very satisfying (to me at least) to see her call him a coward in his face (because he fled Adam's fight when he got injured), or that he might hate Vox but he definitely loooves the attention because he's an attention whore (bonus points if she uses this specific term just to make him uncomfortable). Or even that he's trying so hard to keep this "ominous mysterious dangerous" persona while he's 1- not that powerful, 2- starting to get emotionally attached to the "good guys".

ALSO "you'd be powerless without the Vees" sir you can't convince me that 3 very powerful overlords can't beat 1 up. The Vees are powerful on their own but they're more powerful together and Vox's insecurities aside, they all know it. Alastor is alone, he might be friends with Rosie or the Hotel crew, but his pride wouldn't allow him to seek help in battle, or even emotional help.

Also 2.0 there's the fact that he's been gone for 7 years and while Velvette (and us) might have no idea what he's been up to, I bet the Vees have been growing and expanding their power while Alastor is the same since he left.

So yeah, I think she'd be so great on roasting Alastor. I don't know if I'll ever have a song battle between them but I sure think it would be interesting.

[payattentiontothescreen]

Some of My Favorite Queer Relationship Arcs

This is not a comprehensive list by any means. These are just a few stand-outs for me.

Fig Faeth and Ayda Aguefort

There are two major things I love about Fig and Ayda. The first one is that Fig wasn’t into the idea of a real relationship before Ayda came along. Beyond her rendezvous with adult men (which were disturbing at best), Fig never sought a relationship. As someone with a lot of experience as a teenage disaster, I see a lot of myself in Fig. Her meeting Ayda completely changed her view of relationships and herself. The second thing is that Ayda was originally supposed to be a fetch quest side character. Emily became attached to her, so she became a major NPC. Not only does that represent one of my favorite parts of playing D&D (ask me about the time I bumped an NPC’s status by flirting with him), but Ayda’s story on its own is just so powerful. A Black, autistic lesbian being loved and accepted, not just by Fig, but all the Bad Kids. I just love them so much.

Dana and Rachel

They never break up. Dana and Rachel have so many hurdles, so many obstacles they have to overcome. It looks like they’re about to break up a couple of times, but they never do. It is amazing to see a queer couple go through so much bullshit that never breaks their relationship. It is an amazing, mature relationship between two admittedly immature women. Also, Ashly Burch, my beloved.

Beverly Toegold V and Erlin Kindleaf (I couldn't find a gif of them)

Another teen actual-play couple, I couldn’t help myself. Honestly, they’re just so sweet. I think part of the reason I love them so much is because I wasn’t expecting queer relationships when I started listening to NADDPod. Shortsighted, I know. Their relationship is so adorable. The thing that really drives it home for me is Bev’s whole thing with Terran. Hear me out. They mention this in the episode, but Bev and Erlin aren’t actually in a relationship when Terran shows up. They’re dating, but dating without having a label when you’re a teenager is basically just being friends and knowing you like each other. I don’t blame Bev for kissing Terran. Like I said with Fig, I have a lot of experience as a teenage disaster. The fact that Bev was so shaken up by his momentary lapse in judgment that he insisted on sleeping in separate beds from Moonshine and Hardwon says a lot to me.

TK Strand and Carlos Reyes

These boys cannot catch a break. They are so messy and insane and I love them for it. One of my absolute favorite relationship dynamics is “they will always find their way back to each other.” TK and Carlos embody this perfectly. Whether it’s emotionally, mentally, or physically, they will always find their way home. To each other. The drama did get a bit tedious, especially with their break-up between seasons 2 and 3. But they love each other so much and that love is beautiful to watch.

There are obviously more queer relationships that I love. This list is in no way complete. These are the ones that I have been thinking about a lot recently. Hope y'all are having a good pride month. I'll see you soon!

[reiderwriter]

Hello!!If you were part of the writers on criminal minds,what would you have done differently when it came to the romantic relationships of it all and whats your opinion on some of the ships?Which would you erase and which are your favorites?I'm willing to read as much details and analysis you are willing to give on this lmao😂I loved the analysis on Reids sexual evolution season by season and am really curious on what you think on the ships like Reid and JJ,Reid Lila,Reid and Maeve,Reid and Elle😂Personally I would have created a diffrent character as a love interest for him all together.

This is practically an essay so I'm just going to apologise in advance of this. I'm not going to say I'd change much because the end product we got is my favorite show for a reason but yes, here is me talking about all the romantic relationships I can think of in CM and my opinions on them!

(Spoilers for season 1-15 of CM, CME, and season 8 of NCIS - yeah that's how long this post is).

Reid Ships

I think Reid ships are the ones most people have issues with in Criminal Minds so I'm going to start here with personal headcanons and my personal highlights. It's going to become clear that my biggest pet peeve in CM is when the writers want to give the characters a love interest and then just gender-bend their personalities, so let's start with Maeve and Spencer.

I've already talked at length in other posts about how I think the Maeve/ Zugzwang plotline wasn't my favorite. It was some amazing acting from MGG and Beth Reisgraf, but personally, I think it suffered from "serialized cop drama" plot line status. This show airs week after week with another case to solve in 45 minutes and they don't have the time or the format to pause through moments that in a standard drama would be very impactful.

To go on a slight tangent, that is partially why the relationships between the main cast are usually the only ones developed very well over extended arcs (I'll return to this when I talk about Jeid).

So, when you're trying to have an emotionally resonant moment, and you only have a handful of cold opens and one full episode to do it, you're going to have to make the characters motivations, personalities and back stories mesh in a way that makes you think: "holy shit they're perfect together."

Maeve and Spencer aren't that. I hate to use this term, but Maeve is like a manic pixie dream girl for Spencer? She's written as if she's too good to be true, which is why we're supposed to feel so sad when she dies. But they also tried to make her a complex character and didn't have the time to really do it, which is why we're given a back story that makes no fucking sense (as Spencer's DOCTOR no less) and some hints that she probably doesn't feel the same way as Spencer does for her (fiancé she never told him about etc.)

When Spencer's character starts evolving in later seasons to being more than just a genius, but a genius with trauma, they pull a similar stunt with Cat Adams/ Max

The show runner Erica Messer did mention that the Maeve plotline was always designed to be a three act plot: she's introduced, Spencer is in love with her, she dies. But, in my opinion, we didn't get enough of an introduction to her for me to feel really all that bad about it? They banked a lot on the audiences attachment to Reid, so when you feel bad about Maeve's death it's all about Reid - why do bad things keep happening to HIM, I wonder how HE will get through it - when she is the one who was just murdered. Those kind of dynamics always kind of throw me in romantic relationships.

I'm going to be clear, I do not ship Cat Adams and Reid either and I have pretty much no opinion on Max other than that if she were real I'd probably avoid her (teachers who hate teaching and blame the kids are weird! And I'm a teacher so I can say that I think lol).

Cat Adams is girl-Reid if he had a villain arc. She's 100% again there to push Reid's character development, and she's used as an action rather than a character. Max is the same. In season 15, with the entire team at a crossroads, they have to allow Reid two outs: one villain arc where he gives into his lust for Cat Adams, and one happy ending where he gets to start something with someone who is totally normal and a way out of the BAU the way Savannah was for Morgan. But it can't be as easy for Reid, and that's why we're left with the Cat/Max dilemma because he is really attracted to Cat, despite the fact that she was threatening to end the lives of members of Max's family.

By the end of the show, Reid had been actively on the team the most out of all the cast members (bar Penelope, but she wasn't out on cases first hand, so there's not as much emotional baggage there for her). He can't have an easy exit, so I kind of view this "love triangle" bullshit as a metaphor for Spencer choosing a normal life vs a continuation with the BAU.

Which is why I think that if CME continues, I think we're unlikely to see or hear from Max, because that means he's picked the BAU.

Okay now, not to sound like a broken record but, Jeid:

Before Truth or Dare, there is one single suggestion of Jeid being a possibility and it's a suggestion, from Gideon of all people, in season 1. It is CRAZY to me that after thirteen seasons they just decided to develop that one plotline again because jesus CHRIST.

My main problem with Jeid is that, actually, I think it had a lot of potential. Like I said, serialized dramas only have time to develop relationships between their main cast members, which is why we end up with a pseudo-found-family vibe no matter who happens to be on the team at any given point. A lot of similar dramas go down the route of coworker/ team mate relationships (think Ziva and DiNozzo in NCIS or Mulder and Scully in The X Files).

There was absolutely the potential for an opposites attract relationship with Jeid, but I think the minute they abandoned that after that small dialogue we got something WAY FUCKING BETTER. Their friendship is entirely underrated, Spencer regularly babysits her kid, she comforts him after Emily "dies," enough for them to have arguments about it after the fact. Your honor they are SIBLINGS. That is UNCLE SPENCER. Not your future step-dad.

When they decided to commit to JJ and Will, they should've stuck to it, and as a big fan of the Season 7 finale + Hit and Run it is very shitty seeing them trying to retcon both of these characters amazing developments and growth over 14 seasons and have them regress to shit tier versions of their Season 1 selves.

"But Kacie, there must be some Spencer relationships you like," I hear you ask. And there ARE:

Lila Archer is a great foil for Spencer. She has a happy, glamorous life until their paths cross, and then we can assume from dialogue in season 6 that she continues having a pretty fucking glamorous life after everything goes down. I don't think Spencer works best with characters that are traumatised or overly smart the way he is, because he needs something to return to after the cases that switch off that part of him, to help him forget the horrifying shit he sees on the job.

So Lila Archer was kind of a great love interest.

Another one that I'm so annoyed they didn't explore more is Austin. She's the bartender in the Season 4 Episode "52 Pickup" that is charmed by Spencer's card tricks. She is never mentioned again, but they had a great chemistry, she was quick on her feet and managed to spot the unsub first, and she was a really great foil for Spencer as well; it was a street smarts/ book smarts kind of dynamic. If they'd carried that character forward and had her reappear a few times, it could've been a great romantic plot.

I will just quickly note that the reason we most likely didn't see many romantic plots for Reid was because Matthew Gray Gubler didn't like the idea of giving him a romantic plotline, stating that there were so many more interesting things to do with the character - and he's right!

I'm a fanfiction writer, and the allure of characters like Spencer Reid is they are mostly romantic clean slates - you can write whatever you want for them within reason without having to disregard canon relationships. This is why similarly, Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Venom, and young "Marauders" fanfictions are pretty popular here imo too - canon compliance isn't disregarded, the reader is just written in. So I don't think I'd change a thing for Spencer to be honest (apart from maybe not kill Maeve off and give her the actual villain arc, but I say that so regularly I'm beginning to sound like a broken record).

Also I'll just quickly mention Elle because you mentioned her - outside of fanfiction there are literally zero hints (imo) of a thing between Elle and Reid lmao there's more of a case to be made for Elle and Morgan, but for some reason, writers and fans alike don't like committing to giving Morgan more than simply platonic connections. THEY SHOULD!! THE MAN IS SEXY AS HELL!!!!!!! GIVE ME A MORGAN WHO IS REGULARLY FUCKING!

Hotchner Ships

Speaking of characters that have a long time where they are single! Aaron Hotchner is another fandom favorite to write self-insert fanfiction for, because of the gap between Haley Hotchner's death in 100, and the introduction of Beth in season 7.

In general, I like the way Hotch's relationships play out on screen. Let's start with Haley:

You can tell that the writers really enjoyed the dynamic between work Hotch and home Hotch, because they played on it so much across the four first seasons. The very first time he is introduced he's in his bedroom picking out baby names with his childhood sweetheart, so any further scenes of him being more stern or serious are always in contrast with that introduction. It's a cold open to his character that immediately let's you know that there is more going on in his world than just the BAU, and he is the only member of the season one team that has that.

Then, they really LOVE taking that shit away from him. I'm not going to go into detail here about how fucking wack the time line is for Criminal Minds, but it is stupid and that's important here because:

I think Haley's reasons for divorcing Hotch are stupid.

She says that she married a man who was a prosecutor, not a man that was an FBI Profiler but realistically by the time of their divorce, he'd been in the BAU like 10 years. They rely more on the audiences sense of time (we're two years in, so they've all been on the team two years etc) to push this character motivation off. And for a while it makes sense that they were separated, until the events of 100. But also: in sickness and in health, for better and for worse, you literally signed up for whatever the FUCK happened, that's what a marriage vow IS.

Now I'm a sucker for the angst of 100,but would it not have felt 10x more emotionally disgusting if Hotch and Haley were talking about reuniting? If they had never celebrated in the first place, and had just finished working through their marital issues when Foyet comes back into their lives and Haley has to be whisked away again? Yes. Yes it would.

There's an episode in season 9 that really pisses me off, and it's the one that Hotch passes out from an old tear in his Foyet stab wounds and he goes into surgery and talks with Haley and Foyet in heaven while watching the rest of his life after the events of 100 on a cinema screen. It's cliché and also has no pay-off because it doesn't change the way he views his relationships after that, and it's not like he's at a crossroads at that point, so it means nothing to the audience except as a remembrance of an issue and an episode so far in the past that it feels like flogging a dead horse. They do this twice, btw, and this is the more successful use of this plot (the first time they do it to Elle in Season 1/2 during the events of The Wicker King - she talks to the father we didn't even know was dead, who died decades ago in an unrelated time. Not to keep bringing NCIS up, but I think the only time I've seen it done well is whenever Gibbs kept seeing Mike Franks in the diner scenes). They do not out enough effort into these plots to achieve the emotional resonance they are aiming for in my personal opinion.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think this could've been the beginning of the era where Gibson was having a lot of issues with the cast, because it just felt like they didn't want to use him in the on-location shoots for a while lmao. Anyway, all that to say, Haley should've stayed dead, and not come back as a stupid phantom.

After the dust has settled on Haley and Hotchner though, we get Hotchner and Beth:

This is going to be a short note, because I actually really like the relationship between these two characters. They have the very slow cold-open build up that Maeve and Spencer get, but there's a lot more and a lot less to Beth's character that makes the dynamic between them really enjoyable to watch.

We're once again treated to the out-of-work Hotchner that had been missing since Season 4 (his in between scenes with Jack are cute but there's always the tragedy hanging over them). Beth is running a marathon in honor of her dad, Hotch is doing something similar for the FBI Triathalon, they train together the tension builds, they start dating. Now obviously it wasn't the purpose or aim of this character introduction to build to tragedy, and I think they just genuinely wanted to show a happy Hotchner again, but its still a valid criticism of the weird voyeuristic Maeve build-up that they literally succeeded a more sympathetic and audience engaging late minor-recurring-character EARLIER THAN THE MAEVE ARC.

I'll shut up now, but yeah, I like Hotch and Beth.

Penelope Ships

This post is getting ridiculously long, so much so that I'm even contemplating adding a fucking word count, but let's continue and dive in to my next issue.

Penelope's romantic life is used as a punch-line for the first 11 seasons and I HATE it.

There is no easy short to say this, but I despise Kevin. He is stupid, and a joke, and I hate him and I am SO HAPPY that she dumped him. They made her really pathetic about him for a few episodes, and then he kept fucking coming back too which was even worse.

Kevin is literally male Garcia but with all the worst attributes. He's clingy, and needy, and he may be smart but in a very "incel" way. In my opinion, Kevin is less a fully fledged character and more a joke line/ convenient plot point for when they need more tech analyst work. The best moment in the Kevin/Penelope arc is during the The Gathering, where she really lays into him and tells him off for being jealous of her ukelele instructor AFTER THEY'D BROKEN UP.

Penelope deserved so much better than what they gave her romantically in these seasons. First, her date tried to kill her, her boyfriend was a joke, etc. She never gets the serious romantic plotline that her other teammates do (Hotch/Haley, Spencer/Maeve, Derek/Savannah, JJ/Will, Emily/being a big old lesbian etc). Penelope is really great levity for the rest of the cast because she is happy and she is positive and she is unapologetic in her positivity. It's annoying that they don't let her be more than that in the romantic relationships they give he during these seasons.

Then Luke Alvez is introduced and there is some hope! Galvez truther's please, rise they are so adorable.

Anyone involved in the writing of CME - what the hell was that? Now I haven't seen it myself, to be completely fair, but I know enough to ask the question - really what the HELL was that?

Tl;dr Penelope's sexuality and romantic relationships should not be used as punchlines.

The Aversion to Homosexuality

This is just a general note, but the writers originally did plan to have Emily Prentiss be gay - amazing, great, it's a completely different time now, please let her have a gay awakening soon. It was obviously scrapped early in, but there's a lot of subtext that can be interpreted in that way.

They did commit with Tara, and she gets a gf in CME, so I want to see some Temily in the future if we do get more CM seasons.

So just so you know, everytime I mention Emily flirting with someone in my fic, assume it's a woman if you aren't already, lmao.

(They did also talk about making Reid bisexual as well, which would've also been great, but again, I don't think we're ever getting any more romantic plotlines from Reid).

Other Characters

Here's just a rating and short mention for all the other character couples I can think of in Criminal Minds, because this is already thesis length lmao:

Morgan + Savannah - 8.5/10, no notes, really just the gender bent love interest but done right.

Alex Blake + Husband - 7/10, solid couple, very much enjoyed when they started bringing in the people in established relationships again lmao.

Kate Callahan + Husband - 5/10, same as above but I wasn't as attached to her character rip.

Matt + Kirsty - 10/10 really no notes, I too would be called a breeder if I managed to lock that man down, damn.

Rossi + His 3 Ex-Wives - Make total sense for his character, very enjoyable to me, love that he has a nice moment with most of them again throughout the series, not going to rate it lol.

Rossi + Strauss - 3.5/10 - Last ditch attempt to make Strauss a sympathetic character, but I felt more attached to her growth after being called out by Derek rather than the effect that her death had on Rossi.

Gideon + the friend of his who is murdered by that Frank guy at the end of season 2 - stupid, worst way to go out, made no sense for the character, but I know Mandy Patinkin wanted OUT and honestly, anything for you Inigo Montoya.

Why I think Criminal Minds is Better Without Romance

Generally, I really do agree with Matthew Gray Gubler when he said that there were more interesting things to explore with these characters than their romantic attachments. It does frustrate me to no end that they focused on some of them more than others, and that post Henry, most of JJ's big moments are tied to motherhood and being a mother/ wife, but that change in her character is still amazing and leads her to a lot of growth (not mentioning Truth or Dare again, sorry it doesn't exist at this point in the post)(also I didn't have much time to mention Will and JJ, but I do love them).

Their best moments are the ones we get of them together as a team, saving people and putting away murderers for life, it's a perfect Found Family!!!

Also, no more romance = Spencer Reid can be mine. In conclusion, I am delusional. Thank you for reading this far.

[unabashedly-so]

⚜️ SDV Elliott HC ⚜️

Elliott's family...

Content warning: One-off mentions of homophobic/biphobic microaggressions, alcohol, abusive parents, child favoritism.

I came up with a short story that keeps getting longer about Elliott bringing his partner back to meet his parents (not necessarily by his choice) and confronting a lot of what he'd left behind. The refrain is "To be loved is to be changed," and also part of the resolution is Elliott and his partner totally have nasty revenge sex in his parent's old money country club.

Y'know, therapeutically.

Laurel - 36yo (older sister) - currently a lawyer/attorney in a large city not far from home. She's a very serious person, but not to the point of sternness or coldness. In contrast, she's actually very warm, especially to her siblings, but she's kindly ruthless in her pursuit of what she feels she should pursue. She and Elliott grew up rather close and Elliott idolized her a lot of his childhood, preferring her company over the company of other boys/kids because he felt he could be unabashedly himself around her. She still calls Elliott "Ellie" "Lelly" "Lellit" (Elliott as a toddler would say his name like "Lellit" because all his siblings names started with L so he thought his did too.)

...So anyway here's Elliott's family made for a story that I'll probably never actually get around to writing. "Spoilers" for the story and character growth are in the parentheses at the end for his parents. Also, no they don't have last names because that feels weird.

Loren - 34yo (older brother) - currently a stocks trader or something, but it's not his passion. He mainly does it to make money so he can indulge in his hobbies--traveling, and collecting calculators and typewriters. He has taken Elliott on some of his travels but he's a bit distant emotionally, very much someone who gets lost in his own head, but unlike Elliott, he doesn't really care to share it with others. There are moments of good connection between him and Elliott, but it's a lot of work to get those moments, so Elliott stopped trying to force it. As a kid, Loren was a typically older brother to him and antagonized him appropriately. Elliott was appropriately a younger brother to him when he wasn't dangling off of Laurel. As older siblings, they did share some commonalities that they bonded on, like sharing books, and he was a good listener for Elliott's story ideas.

Elliott - 32yo - as the middle child with two very successful older siblings, Elliott is often overlooked by his parents. There's no incredible pressure for him to be wealthy or successful, but that doesn't mean they aren't disappointed nonetheless. As a child, he was imaginative, creative, and loved to be the center of attention when he had a good story to tell. Otherwise, he was rather quiet. His mother likes to joke that Elliott was the "baby" of the family for 8 years and he's never once forgotten it, saying that he needs more coddling than most, as he was always so attached to his older sister, Laurel.

Samuel - 24yo (younger brother) - very much The Accident. Susannah tells everyone he dropped out of medical school to go practice field medicine in war torn Gotoro. In actuality, he's currently living off the family's fortunes (and Loren's kindness) "finding himself". Elliott's relationship with Samuel is a bit distant, mainly due to the age gap. Elliott is fond of his youngest brother and has fond memories with him, but it was always tainted by a perceptible difference with how he was treated vs. Elliott and the rest of the kids.

Susannah - mother - Motherly but outsourced much of the emotional work to servants. She does care for her children and wants the best for them, but like her husband, very much thinks that they can only be happy in the ways that she comes up for them. Her main style of communication is through double-entendres and snide, passive aggressive remarks. ie, if Elliott brings home a wife, she'll remark, "Oh Elliott, I knew you'd find the right girl to fix you right up!" (talking about his bi/gayness) Laurel followed Susannah's hopes for her, so Laurel is the golden child in her mind. Loren does well for himself and doesn't cause any trouble so he's another good egg. Elliott... well, she doesn't quite understand the path he's chosen. She thinks he's too in-his-own-head for his own good. She tells him to be more like Loren all the time directly, and indirectly reveres Laurel to him. (It's revealed that Killian barely supported her in her raising the kids, which was why she outsourced so much of their raising, because she couldn't handle it on her own and knew it wouldn't be good enough. She also comes around to accepting she doesn't understand Elliott's path in life AND that that's okay as long as he's happy and taken care of. She also says that she and Sir Killian have been seeing a marriage counselor (their "advising consultant") for years and she's so sorry she didn't do it sooner.)

Sir Killian - father - very hands off with the kids. Led by stern example, but not cruel, just not accepting of deviation from his expectations. One-on-one and in private, he can be very warm and caring, even jovial and soft. But there's a military history, one that he's not escaped and comes through in much of his interactions and the persona he puts off. "Sir" comes from that experience. He appears quietly disappointed all the time that none of his children took up the mantle of military service. (It is later revealed that he did not partake in childrearing or supporting Susannah in it because he knew the father he would be was not the father his kids deserved--his father was militant, alcoholic, abusive, etc. He shares that he regrets not even trying, but at the same time, sees how it was a benefit. He shares that he is actually relieved that none of his children went into military service and that his experience made him very anti-war, but coming out with those views would have excommunicated him from his family, and he felt he had to uphold that connection for fear of not being able to provide for his family.)

[ink-flavored]

Song Pic Saying Tag Game

Thank you to @vacantgodling for tagging me!

Rules: Pick an OC and post a song you relate to them, an image that represents them in some way (aesthetic, picrew, art, etc), and a quote of dialogue or narration from them. Totally feel free to expand and explain!

This got long so I'll do the tagging right up front: @duelistkingdom @liv-is @hallwriteblr @mjjune @zeenimf and anyone else who wants to!

I have the perfect combo for this in the form of Justice, everyone's favorite emotionally conflicted angel

Song

For non-Spotify users, here is a Youtube link to Songbirds by Ben Thornewill, and just the lyrics if you don't feel like listening to audio.

I picked this song for Justice because throughout the story he struggles with his perfectionism, a sort of "holy imposter syndrome" (i.e. not being good enough of an angel), and a crisis of faith once Heaven has made clear he's no longer welcome. He's still loyal to God, he wants to continue being an angel and do what he's been created for (serving humanity and being a literal embodiment of justice), but now he's been told he doesn't belong. And on Earth, he's the "songbird in the city air" as mentioned in the song. He feels like he's never going to "make it" -- never be good enough to get in Heaven's good graces again. He has a stubborn sense of morality and refuses to compromise on his ideals, which is exactly the thing they rejected in him. He starts to realize... maybe they were right. He doesn't belong. Obviously that's a bit of a downer for him.

When it comes to "playing the part," he still acts the part of an angel even though he's as close to being a fallen angel as he can be while keeping his wings attached. Being able to literal sense human pain and suffering, he is programmed by God to help every person on the street no matter what. And despite doing this, he doesn't really get the sense he's actually materially helping, at all. No matter how many problems he solves, there's never a dip in the grand scheme of things. He cares so deeply that it hurts, and despite his estrangement from Heaven, he's more than willing to bend over backwards for humanity, doing whatever anyone needs. To his own detriment, sometimes.

In a way, he doesn't really belong anywhere anymore. Not in Heaven, not in Hell, not on Earth. He's in a perfect in-between, everywhere he goes. Like a bird in the city.

Pic

This art was a commission from @auroblaze and also directly inspired by the song above!

We can get the obvious symbolism out of the way right now - Justice, large wings, sitting and watching some birds, who are flying merrily into the sky. Free to go wherever they please, while Justice can't. He's kept all the holy signifiers, his wings and halo, but is unable to use them the way he wants to. He's up high, closer to Heaven, but will never be able to reach as high as the birds can.

Also please take note of the grandma sweater. That has nothing to do with this symbolism, but it is a very important part of his character.

Saying

Okay so. Most of these thoughts are in my head instead of on the page, but there is ONE I can use.

Context: Justice invites Pride to a church event and when they get home, they have this conversation.

“I know, I guess I…” Justice leaned against the wall, brow furrowed. “I was trying to prove something to myself.” “Like what?” He didn’t answer right away, picking at his nails. “I know you don’t want a relationship with God,” he said, slow and deliberate, “and that’s fine. I would never ask you to. But I don’t think that means you have to be abandoned by me—by us. We can still get along, we don’t have to be separate to coexist. Does that make sense?”

Justice is both trying to prove to himself that Pride's demon status doesn't preclude him being able to hang out with humans (and at least one angel) in a civil way, and in turn that the eternally suffering that God prescribes for sinners to be illegitimate. Justice, deeply faithful even after being thrown out by Heaven, feels like it's wrong for him to be cast out, but for his many thousands of years of life, he's been told demons deserve it. If that's wrong too... maybe all of it's wrong.

And also he invited Pride because Justice liiiiikes himmmmmm~~~~

[sanityshorror]

What are the relationships between Cian and the other Hellcrew characters?

Oh oh oh! This is a great question to start with! I mainly just covered Cian's side of the relationships but I can elaborate more on things if specifically asked!

Killian Lynch

Complicated isn't a strong enough word and "eugh," is how I feel when I get into the nitty gritty of it. Cian is... extremely obsessive towards Killian. He idolizes Killian and holds him on a pedestal. Cian is obsessed with, to quote him, "living up to my father's legacy." Cian is obsessed with getting Killian's approval. Cian is obsessed with the idea of being incredibly close with Killian emotionally. He's obsessed with the idea of a version of his life where Killian was always there. Cian is obsessed with impressing Killian. Cian is obsessed with-- I think you get the idea.

Devlin Doherty (© @scarfaxia )

Devlin is Cian's boyfriend, and Cian's Ultimate Favorite Person™ (Cian has BPD & NPD). Cian is beyond attached to Devlin, and has accidentally broken Devlin's hand on multiple occasions because he held it too tightly. Cian is very faithful to Devlin, he loves him and has since they first met in their 20s. Cian is 100% a malewife lol. Ultimately, Devlin and Cian have a very healthy and happy relationship. They don't really fight ever, though they do lightheartedly bicker a lot lol. Scarfaxia says that Devlin will try to pretend to be annoyed by Cian being so attached but Devlin actually loves it and would be upset if Cian wasn't.

Julius Doherty

Cian is about as close as one is able to get to Julius. They always have had a friend type of relationship, even though Cian was only 13 when he first met a then 23 year old Julius. Because Julius is emotionally stunted in a teenage mindset in many ways, he wound up forming a (genuinely) platonic friendship of sort with Cian off the bat. They're still incredibly close.

Octavian Doherty

Cian and Octavian have gotten to know each other over the years due to Octavian being Devlin's older brother. Octavian is protective of Devlin ("hurt me bwatha an' I'll fawkin kill yaw!") but Cian actually is appreciative of that, because Cian is also protective towards Devlin. They get along.

Sullivan Sweeney

Sullivan hates Cian because Cian reminds him so much of Killian, and Sullivan hates Killian.

Duvessa Doyle

Mother of one of Cian's (many) children. They got up to the bowchickawowow when Cian was still human, 19 at the time. He only was in her life to be involved with their child when the child was growing up. Now he acts like she doesn't exist.

Seraphina Shaw (© @gracilissart )

Cian keeps his distance from her. He's plenty smart enough to know that she's got his issues figured out to a pretty damn good extent and knows she'll call him on bullshit. He doesn't want to risk the trigger.

Seamus Wrynn (© @gracilissart)

Similar to Killian, Cian likes a lot of Seamus' s...uh.. photography but doesn't see it as the magnificent art Seamus thinks it to be. Like Killian, Cian just sees it as jerk it material. He isn't particularly close to Seamus, especially given that because Killian doesn't like Seamus, then Cian also doesn't.

Kelly Duffy

Not all that close, but video gaming bros. Cian is the only person who Kelly has a chance on making go WASTED™ in GTA

Lucien Delaney (© @scarfaxia )

Oh god how do I even start I don't know where to begin. Uh. Nothing good. Very very very bad.

[mctna2019]

Seon-ho and Sung-rok relationship(1)

Since Seon-ho has other layers apart from being emotional he was an interesting and complex character so his relationships with other characters are very interesting. here is belong to him (although I'll put from other series and characters) and I want to write my personal understanding of his relationships with other characters (this time for Seon-ho and Sung-rok,the relationship that I'm sure has many fans, including myself)

They don't have many scenes together, but it is strong enough to make a big impact on the series, and one of the reasons for that is the complexity of both of them.

About Seon-ho: Well he is always in trouble for his situation (being a bastard and also his mother's social status) so he had a certain guard against everyone even if he doesn't show it (except Hwi, Yeon and to some extent Hui-jae because they never humiliate him for this reason) well, Song-Rok humiliates him (of course not because of being a bastard, we will talk about it in Song-Rok's section), so the beginning of their relationship is not good so we can't imagine they going to work together But the scene where Seon-ho tells Sung-rok that he will take orders from him one day is shocking, both because of Seon-ho's gaze and the fact that it happens right next episode.(Seon-ho has a calm and introverted personality, the times when he threatens someone seems to be very different, that's why I like those sequences so much) Seon-ho needs Sung-rok, Sung-rok is also abandoned and he needs new master , so Seon-ho takes the opportunity and their relationship moves forward more seriously. At first, there is no emotion (for either of them), it is just their mutual work commitment (especially Sung-rok). Song-Rok isn't a treacherous person and doesn't involve emotions in his work, this is enough for Seon-ho to keep him (actually, Seon-ho is never the one to leave Sung-rok like Lee Seung Gi) their relationship continues like this. until he get uses to Sung-rok's presence with him . Sung-rok keeps telling him the consequences of Seon-ho's decisions (for Seon-ho himself). But Seon-ho is so obsessed with Hwi that he doesn't listen to him and always gets into trouble while Hwi won't be there to save him (although Seon-ho knows everything before Sung-rok's words) when Hwi stabbed Seon-ho and this incident makes Seon-ho finally able to give up on him (I'm not stupid, he still hasn't given up on Hwi, he just managed to show him how broken he was for the first time in action), when Sung-rok tells him That touching dialogue about the relationship between a master and his warrior could be the point that Seon-ho becomes emotionally attached to him (or perhaps earlier, when he throws Seon-ho's sword at him with Yeon's ribbon he tied to it )To be honest, we know that until this scen he has been by Seon-ho's side, but right at this point, our perspective changes and we see him as an important person next to Seon-ho, who is like a family to Seon-ho in a way. He becomes an older brother and even a father that he has never experienced. Seon-ho tells him that he knows Sung-rok protects him , which means he's never careless about him, it's just that circumstances don't allow him to take care of Sung-rok as well (we know who I'm talking about).Seon-ho allows him to be with him in the attack on Bang-won's residence even though he knows he will be killed, maybe because Seon-ho knows how it feels to protect someone you care about, and he knows him well (like him) and on the other hand he has no attachment to life and he is sure that he'll be killed, he didn’t think that Sung-rok would die before him and this is such a big shock for him that he drops his sword slow down and give in to Bang Won to kill him (I really didn't expect that look and cry from him), then he grabs Sung-rok's body again and can't leave him. They couldn't tell their last words to each other(especially Seon-ho). He returned Sung-rok's sword, either because he knowed himself as guilty as ever, or because he wanted to die more than ever. When he thanked Sung-rok for everything, even though Hwi considered him his friend again and was by his side, I found him very lonely.

[aroaceconfessions]

ok so, this isn't so much a confession, rather I'm asking for help or an opinion because I can't find anything helpful out there myself and the wiki's fucked.

I've had a real hard time pinning down my sexuality as of recent, because all the factors involved are really contradicting, and correspond to a number of labels and yet none (that i know of):

- i experience sexual attraction to mostly guys and masc-presenting individuals

- my sexual attraction fluctuates depending on my energy levels

- I have had many fantasies involving different people and I do experience sexual arousal, but not to anyone in particular most of the time and I would never want these fantasies to come true

- I have the idea that eventually I'll get to know what it feels like to actually do it, though I'm not sure exactly when

- I only experience sexual attraction once I'm emotionally attached to the other

- when it comes to people I know I'll never have an actual chance with, the above does not apply; rather, I'll experience sexual attraction first, and then I become emotionally attached over time

- there have been a few cases where I was attracted to a different gender than a guy or masc-presenting, but it's never been someone fem-presenting

- I have experienced sexual attraction to fictional characters in the past

- I can count with one hand the number of times I've ever experienced sexual attraction to those my own age

I also can't determine where I lie with romantic orientation, and some of the factors above are the same ones involved:

- my orientation fluctuates mostly between demiro, aegoro, and totally aro

- when I dream about someone i dont usually think about, I then become obsessed with them

- I'm romantically attracted to most masculine, feminine and neutral genders

- I've also been romantically attracted to fictional characters

- I do not have romantic fantasies, but I'm not entirely opposed to a real-life relationship

- I have a very hard time distinguishing between queerplatonic, platonic and romantic attraction

- I am aesthetically attracted to mostly feminine and neutral genders, and only sometimes it will evolve into romantic attraction

now, I'd like to mention that I'm nonbinary, specifically genderfluid; because of this, I'm not too sure what that would make me in terms of orientation. sometimes I'm more feminine, sometimes I'm agender, sometimes I'm xenogender, and very rarely I will experience what I describe as "not totally masculine, just the general concept of a boy", so i dont know which orientation label would fit best out of all the ones I've seen. does anybody know any labels out there that would best describe all these experiences? I don't know or remember enough to determine all this myself.

[mikuni14]

Only Friends Ep 4

Top remains the most interesting character of OF, I don't know what it is about him, but he intrigues me, the more I know about him. There wasn't much of Ton in this episode, which is a shame, he (and as it turns out Nick) drives the whole plot. Nick… oh boy, I don't think this will end well for him. Nick is playing a big game he has already lost because he is emotionally involved. Also he's not well right now, how many times has he listened to this recording? Actually, it is interesting - and very "real life" - how Nick and Mew decide to have relationships with men who are walking red flags. Boston is an obvious red flag, but Top is no less than that, he just doesn't flaunt it. As I thought, for Mew, sex is penetration, sorry, it never ceases to amuse (and annoy me) 😃 Mew with hand in guy's pants: so happy I'm still a virgin! And what is the point of attaching such colossal importance to sex if he treats it as something to trade / pay for? "You're going to stop taking drugs and I'll sleep with you for it?" Mew has such a bizarre attitude towards sex that it almost makes him interesting. How interesting are human choices, because the situation that Mew-Top-Ray have is very real. Mew ultimately decides on Top, although Ray is similarly problematic (all the negative aspects of "the rich spoiled boy", numerous issues, addiction), but unlike Top, Ray genuinely loves Mew and it's clear that Mew could trust him that he won't cheat and he can always count on him. Between Top and Ray, Ray is the best choice, but Mew doesn't see him that way. It's so sad. But also very real.

[foxymoxynoona]

Sexual Trauma is a common theme throughout your writing. How are you able to write such themes , are they emotionally draining or are you able to detach your self in a sense ?For me personally that specific theme helps ground the pieces and makes the characters more real to me . I appreciate how the trauma does affect each character on different levels but does define them completely , basically they are not only seem as victims but you manage to never minimize the effects that has on a person and their perception of themselves . Thank you it is very important to me . Also thank you for having your female leads be sexual beings , thinking of Sasha or our Bear Queen , women are judged many times for being lustful or seeking pleasure in ways men are not across societies and generations . So shout out to you for female empowerment .

Also thinking back most OCs don’t have a relationship with their mothers or they are dead , is that something important for you to include or just works out that way . Anyway love your writing

It's very emotionally draining, for sure. It's why a lot of times I'll write a few chapters at a time when it's hard emotional stuff because I need to work through it before I can emotionally or mentally disengage, and it really bleeds into my real life. I really try to get into the heads of my characters and think of what they're thinking and feeling in any scene, so when they are stressed or hurting, it feels very real to me too. It's not a theme I write about in all my stories, but has certainly been part of several of my longer stories (Sasha, Lowlander, Sugar Fairy, Amended, and I think Meadow qualifies too). One thing that interests me as a writer is the different ways their experiences influence them, the different ways they respond to their own experiences. Childhood trauma and interrupted adolescence and attachment development/early childhood social development are very big interest areas for me, so most of my stories are in some way looking at the themes of how childhood shapes the adult, and how adults become who they want to be regardless of their pasts.

As for sexual beings, I really try to represent the whole spectrum of female relationship to their own sexuality --probably more fully when I include some of my writing that I haven't posted (I write a lot more besides the BTS fanfics I post). I think this too is greatly influenced by upbringing and culture and the formation of identity. Some of my characters struggle to understand their needs, others feel totally at home and in charge even if society judges them for it, many are somewhere in the middle.

Which also relates to the third thing you mention: mother-daughter relationships good, bad, absent, and everything in between, the relatinoships between women, pseudo-maternal figures and so on. If you look at my full masterlist, I don't quite agree that most have bad or dead mothers haha but I think again, it's several of my bigger stories so I can understand why it may make my masterlist feel weighted that direction. Grace, Hanbyul, Nasimiyu, Sydney, and Alex all have good relationships with their mom, Kamen has a generally good but complicated relationship, and from there you get into the complicated or absent relationships. I think the way generations of women relate to each other is fascinating and meaningful and powerfully good and powerfully flawed, not just blood-maternal but also things like OC's relationship to a mother-in-law (The Mother, Eommas), or maternal figure (Dr. Kim, Narae, etc etc.) It's also fun to explore the ways it's the same or different for sons and mothers.

Anyway, I'm really touched how closely you read my stories! Relationships and culture and sexuality and childhood experiences and on and on, it's all the tapesty of the human experience that i really love exploring in my writing, and i Hope to contineu to find new paths and lenses to view these things through in future stories <3

[marley-manson]

☕️ beejhawk don't work as a pairing post war

Thank you! lol agreed, at least for me personally, the way I view the characters and their relationship.

The rest of this is under a cut to spare my beejhawk followers the negativity

For me they're a perfect weird messy sad fling, but I can't see them living happily ever after, and I don't particularly want to.

I don't think Hawkeye would be happy with BJ longterm. BJ's issues that cause problems between them don't strike me as a war-zone thing, or a gay repression thing. They strike me as a BJ thing. The classic passive aggressive lashing out in Wheelers and Dealers, the hypocritical disparaging of Hawkeye's emotional reponses in episodes like Rally Round the Flagg and Back Pay, the needling in No Laughing Matter or Dear Uncle Abdul, the resentment in Heroes or Joker is Wild, these all strike me not as flaws that manifested during the war or the result of repression, but rather signs of insecurity. I see BJ as someone who lashes out at others to make himself feel better and sometimes superior, both textually through the pranks ("taking your frustrations out on other people. You know, good, clean American fun") and less overtly through his condescension and like, negging lol.

And since we're in BJ/Hawkeye headcanon territory here anyway I'll go a step further and add that I also find it easy to imagine BJ as kind of ironically seeing a relationship between him and Hawkeye the way a lot of the fandom sees it, but yk, wrongly: positioning himself as Hawkeye's saviour, the rational, solid, long-suffering support propping the irrational, insecure, damaged Hawkeye up and saving him from himself. He'd frame it like that to help himself deny all the ways he's fucked up and traumatized himself, and, like in the show, he'd fail to actually be the kind of emotionally open partner who can engage with Hawkeye on his own terms, rather than projecting his own misapprehensions onto Hawkeye.

(I also don't think he'd cope too well with being with a fellow surgeon. I can't see BJ easily throwing off the heteronormativity even after coming out, and having a partner who works as much as he does would drive him up the wall. Which could be a very interesting layer if he goes to Maine while Hawkeye's still on sabbatical and has time to play house, until Hawkeye gets his drive back and wants to return to surgery...)

And I just don't see Hawkeye as emotionally attached enough to put up with these issues for long when he has other options. Over the course of the show we see him getting a little more distanced from BJ and relying on others for support and emotional connection instead of him, like Mulcahy in Letters or Margaret in Stars and Stripes or Charles in Sons and Bowlers. He tries to support BJ in Bombshells but leaves when BJ waves him off and the emotional distance between them there is palpable. Hawkeye accepts that their close friendship is functionally over now that the war is over which is why he wants BJ to say goodbye in GFA. He'll miss him and he's glad he was there with him in Hell, but he'll move on. He's the kind of guy who makes friends and forms relationships very easily, I can't imagine him pining for BJ and waiting for him.

If BJ did go to Maine and sweep Hawkeye off his feet with a declaration of love shortly after the war, and honestly I could see that lol, I think they'd last a few months at best.

That's just how I see their dynamic, ofc. I enjoy emphasizing the flaws. But the usual alternative, that BJ really is a great supportive partner and they slowly but steadily recover from the trauma of war together and live happily ever after, bores me to tears lol. It's possible, maybe BJ does get his shit together with the war behind him and having embraced his true sexuality, and maybe they fall into that season 5-ish happy partners vibe. But man that's just not for me, I find their chemistry and dynamic unspeakably boring without the relationship-breaking strife.

send me controversial or unpopular opinions and I’ll tell you if I agree or disagree 🐸 ☕️

[katatonicimpression]

How come you dont vibe with comic sambucky? I haven't read many comics with either of them so I'm curious

I guess it just feels kind of lopsided? But not in a fun way. And then sometimes it feels a different kind of lopsided but in a bad way.

Like, it's easy to read buck as being infatuated with sam. He's got his "I care about not letting him down" thing, and his "I can't shoot him, he's too pretty" moment. But from Sam's point of view, he's just a mate. That's the only way I see it idk. He likes him, but you don't get the impression he's a massively important feature in his life, unlike with the mcu where you can feel the attachment and reliance.

(sidenote: I actually think this is a good thing. The times when sam's personal life gets overtaken by steve's entourage (especially ian) tend to feel off - they often make it feel like Sam himself views steve's life as more important than his own. He has his own life, his own family and friends. His 2015 series understood this - i.e. that he needs his own supporting cast to feel like an actual protagonist, and not steve's accessory.)

But yeah this lopsided-ness isn't a bad thing per se, you could go somewhere fun with it. I actually think Cold War missed an opportunity here. By having Bucky be attached to Sam in a way that Sam doesn't really reciprocate could make for a really good showdown between them. You have bucky pretending to be evil in order to trick steve into going along with something, and he's expecting to fight steve. But no, he gets Sam instead. And sam is like "Bucky's being a dick, so I'll fight him." because he's not too emotionally invested here. But bucky is thrown because he's not emotionally prepared to fight someone he has all this admiration for and nothing but good will.

This contradiction in perspectives comes to a head. Boom. Emotional climax. Changes the course of the plot. Falling action etc etc

But no, they didn't do that. They just threw a fight between them at the end there with some dialogue that didn't feel meaningful to me at all. Sam came into the situation with no real emotional investment and left it that same way. Just clocking in and out of work at the Captain America factory.

So that's the first thing, it feels like Sam doesn't have these feelings, and they don't really do anything with that asymmetry because I don't think they realise it's there, because these writers don't think Sam needs a complete internal world.

The other lopsided thing is the Falcon and Winter Soldier mini series. This just gave me bad vibes sorry. It's a mini series about Bucky and his pain and his problems and his wacky antics. Sam is there to play the straight man to his antics, and to nurture and tend to him.

Sam should never be cast as the straight man. In any sense of the term.

I am fundamentally uninterested in a version of this dynamic that is primarly driven by Sam looking after bucky. So, for me personally, interepreting their relationship in this series as romantic would turn it into something I don't like. Sam looking out for a friend? Fine, good, in character. But make it romantic and suddenly it's wrong to me.

I am fully convinced that this is not an appealing dynamic to sam. Like, a person who's coming to him for comfort and help? Not his type. Look at the people he's drawn to: Leila, Steve, Thor, Misty, Kyle (ignoring jet because that's just so so so ooc and regretable). It's people who are dominant, maybe authoritative. People who don't need anything from him, but want him anyway. People who pursue him, not people he's chasing after. He's specifically into Thor, and not Jane. Idk I just think that this version of their dynamic is one which is hard to imagine Sam even wanting.

This is all just very subjective opinion. And I do think that it's easily possible for them to get some interactions that give them a tone that I am into.

Personally, I am very keen on having them interact more outside of Steve. I think they're relationship to each other is more interesting without him there (and certainly without ian there. why is ian always here?) Hell, like I said, Cold War absolutely could have given us a more intense vibe from them. But it didn't. So, as it currently stands, I just don't vibe with it.

[secriden]

#their relationship may not be as messy from sqq's pov#but depending on how much lqg knows/has guessed about the transmigration shenanigans it could be v messy from his pov#then again lqg might just be the type of person to take other people's character development in stride lol

(tags from @fandomspacenqueue)

*vibrates out of my seat* hello!! hi! thanks for adding a reply of sorts to the tags!! yes yes lets discuss!! please share your thoughts on this i'm so interested in what other people think about this idea~

ok i'll clarify quickly that what i meant by "messy" was more a reference to how with both yqy and lbh's relationships with sqq are unavoidably complicated by the both their past with sj and the way they wind up hurting pidm!sqq. any relationship with yqy will always be haunted by the ghost of qi-ge's past "betrayal" of sj on yqy's side while being a non-event (at least emotionally) for sqq. meanwhile, even in cannon, sqq cannot help but fixate on the possibility that lbh is going to torture and kill him and he's constantly plagued by visions of that horrifying future.

meanwhile, lets consider that lqg, while he doesn't get along with sj and definitely distrusts him (because of the disciples!era "murder" attempt/misunderstanding), also seems the type of person to adjust fairly easily to a character change if he sees proof of consistent change in their actions. like we cannot have it both ways: we cannot say that lqg is straightforward and doesn't think too deeply about things whilst also assuming that he would second guess and imagine layers of ulterior motives and become hysterically attached to the idea that sqq is planning something nefarious. in cannon, he expresses his observation that sqq is acting strange but once he's sure that it isn't demon possession he seems to move on fairly quickly.

almost as if to lqg: sqq saved his life, he's a changed man now, guess this is the new normal.

another angle (although this is probably fanon influenced, its been a long time since i read the novel) is that lqg could well be someone who thinks deeply but doesn't say much. i think he struggles to express himself (see: how he tries to comfort sqq after lbh is thrown in the abyss), but it doesn't make him an idiot nor does it mean he doesn't notice things. it's lqg that says "this matter must remain known only to the peak lords" re sqq's poisoned condition -- like sometimes i think we forget that this man can think and strategise too. he isn't stupid. so while he could be puzzled by sqq's seemingly inexplicable change, i also think he'd be intrigued by what caused the change and wants to see if it's a permanent one. and that attention and desire to make sense of why sqq is so different would be the starting point to a solid (and relatively uncomplicated) development in their romance. especially since there's cannon confirmation of mutual physical attraction between them.

anyway, yeah, that's where i was coming from when i said they'd be "less mesy". yqy's got too much history with sj and lbh's too much of a overwhelming threat due to the pidm narrative. lqg would be this wonderful safe zone and his devotion, once attained, just makes me think liushen could be very, very happy.

one reason i think liu qingge has such great potential is that he's one of the only characters entirely free from the PIDM narrative. because he dies early in PIDM, sqq isn't coming into every conversation and interaction expecting lqg to adhere to a preconceived script. this allows sqq to actually see lqg as a person and for his words and actions to be taken at face value.

i just think this is great potential for sqq to still be completely oblivious or in denial about lbh and yqy's attentions (because he's so fixated on how bad/complicated PIDM!sqq's relationships are with them) whilst also catching wind of lqg's growing feelings for him because he isn't hampered by any preconceived notions of what they're dynamic "should" be.

so give me sqq noticing the way lqg's mannerism soften around him, how his gruffness changes, how he spends more time just having tea with sqq even after his meridians have been cleansed as they start to have civil conversation about sect business. recognising lqg's care in returning his fans; seeking common ground over their shared love of monster hunting (even if lqg just cares about fighting them, can he maybe smash them in such a way that shixiong can study them afterwards?) and discussions on cultivation techniques and the differences between bai zhan and qing jing styles.

sqq who is so just so grateful to have someone in his corner, someone he feels safe with, who he doesn't have to second guess during every conversation. someone who was never supposed to be around by this point in the narrative, and so is entirely shen qingqui's.

[krystaljungs]

Hey I'm your secret santa! I just wanted to drop in to say hi! I don't know how much I can interact with you or how ambitious my gift for you can be because I'm a bit busier than I'd like to be. But I will definitely try my best! On that note, I just wanted to hear about your favorite dramas and why they are your favorite so I can be inspired to make an awesome gift for you <3 Hope you have a good week <3<3<3

hiii, santa!! glad to hear from you💟 ooooh don't worry about that, i totally get you, end of the year can get crazy busy! so i'll appreciate whatever you make cause i know you put a lot of effort on that and took your time to make it!!

i'll probably talk a lot so i'm sorry in advance.

ok my favorite drama of all is pinocchio, i'm emotionally attached to that one cause it was the first piece of media that portrayed adoption in a way i could relate as an adoptive child, the relationship between dal po/ ki hamyung and his adoptive dad is something so beautiful and it never fails to warm my heart (also the drama is a masterpiece, the plot, drama and plot twists ooof so good) for similar reasons, i love weightlifting fairy kim bok joo! bok joo is definitely one of my favorite characters in some aspects i relate to her a lot but more than that she has the sort of persona i aspire to have.

a few honorable mentions i like to add: something in the rain, bad buddy, introverted boss, my only 12%, kinnporsche, lovestruck in the city, moonlight chicken, weak hero class 1, in these the relationships and development of the characters got me hooked, some have soothing aspects and can come off a bit melancholic but in a way it makes the plot more realistic.

and this year my biggest obsessions were till the end of the moon, the eighth sense, mask girl and stay with me.

i'm a huge fan of enemies to lovers and dramatic sort of plots so till the end of the moon was IT for me, especially tantai jin, he IS one for my favorite characters ever, i'm obsessed!!! also his arc and development A MASTERPIECE.

the eighth sense was also crazy good i think jaewon is another favorite character cause i do relate to him a lot and all that he's been through! i just love this drama so freaking much, the cinematography, the soundtrack, the plot, everything about it is amazing. also stay with me was a drama that surprised me very much, the biggest part of it for me was the leads relationship development and the found family arc 🤌 sorry for talking too much lmaooooo, also if it helps i made a list of my favorite dramas and my 2023 favorites in case i forgot any.

once again, tysm so much for passing by and dw worry about gift too much, just make something you feel like to and focus on whatever you need to right now! wishing you a great week ahead, hope it isn't too hard on you 💟💟💟💟

[lochselfships]

💤 rough around the edges, gentle as can be

Characters: Loch (self-insert), Alfur Aldric, The Postal Dude

Summary: hiiiiii i'm being gay for my boyfriends again and wrote this comfort fic for myself at like 4am!!! Loch's having a big depression night and thinking about past mistakes, Alfur doesn't know how to help, and Dude steps in. this is largely about the early days of Loch and Dude's romantic relationship, and how he and Alfur became friends.

Warnings: depressive thoughts, mild self-destructive behaviour, (referenced) meltdown, misunderstood character(s), hurt/comfort, no beta read

Word Count: 2.8k

Loch sat on the bathroom floor, curled up into a hunched-over position as another night of sleeplessness pulled them into an emotionally fragile state. Their eyes were slightly red from crying minutes ago, but they were dehydrated already and didn't have more tears to cry- The distance between their mental and emotional state being completely distanced from each other making it even more difficult to feel in touch with themselves. It was a rough night. This was becoming more common lately.

They were trapped in their head, replaying bad memories from different perspectives. Right now they were dealing with a mix of self-perception and socializing issues, mixed with a pinch of related trauma for a spicy combination that he despised so much.

"Gah…" They whined quietly to themselves, "I'm such an idiot."

Loch bit their lip to avoid sinking too much further into despair, mulling over the various times they'd made a fool of themselves and been laughed at for it. The way it had shaped them into this 'loveable punching-bag' archetype that they constantly wavered on. The way they couldn't seem to stop being an idiot around people, whether accidental or purposeful. It was exhausting.

Loch took a moment to try and ground themselves, attaching to their surroundings again.

It was silent, Loch even tuning out the tiny hum of the bathroom lights as his world was rather muffled. Then, from the other side of the locked door he heard a small tap- barely audible.

His heart raced, already panicking. How long had he spent in the bathroom? Were the others starting to worry? That was the last thing they wanted, to wake someone just to comfort them in a moment of weakness.

"Loch?" Called a small and gentle voice, and Loch shuffled towards the door to hear better- not yet bringing themselves to speak up, throat a little hoarse.

"Are you… are you alright?" Alfur's soft tones letting Loch feel a little more comfortable, but all the more guilty as they heard the worry in his voice. "If there's anything I can do…"

"No, no." Loch sighed, pressing his forehead to the door and swallowing saliva to let his voice return to normal. "I'm okay, I promise."

It wasn't a total lie, he was feeling somewhat better after a cry, but… It wasn't the whole truth either. They were struggling again, handling their past as a whole, their anxieties, as well as the struggle of opening up properly- Letting themselves be comforted.

"Hmm…" Alfur gave a concerned hum that let Loch know they weren't really off the hook with this- Alfur knew Loch's patterns on their bad nights, the bathroom was a common retreat for when they felt like a burden.

"Really, I… I've just been lost in thought again- you know me, always zoning out on the toilet." Loch lied. It was common for them to zone out in the middle of the bathroom, but this wasn't one of those times.

Alfur opens his mouth to talk again, but then closes it, unsure of what to say, or how to comfort them. Some nights it was more difficult… they were more stubborn… The elf could try his best but there were times Loch would lock themselves away and there was very little he could do about that.

"I-I'll be out in a minute!" Loch stuttered, putting on a happier tone of voice before standing up and moving to the sink to wash their face "Go join the others, um, I'll be done in- done in a sec!"

Alfur nervously fidgeted before taking a few steps away, giving them a moment to compose themselves properly. He was anxious about his partner and not sure what to do; He wasn't sure what exactly triggered Loch's current state, so it was much harder to navigate for the little guy.

He stood in the doorframe of the living room which adjoined to the hallway, and therefore, bathroom. Soon, he felt the approach of a human walking towards him. Alfur snapped out of his thoughtful daze to look up to the person and see who it was.

Oh. It was the newer addition…

Dude, a tall man with auburn hair, clad in a leather trenchcoat with eyes that always seemed a bit too manic, approached the elf with his usual demeanor. He had only recently gotten together with Loch after a long while of being friends, and Alfur was still on the rocks about him. Dude wasn't exactly the most trustworthy guy… Alfur didn't want to see Loch hurt, and hearing of Dude's less-than-reputable activity didn't put him at ease. They had been dating for over a month, though, and he seemed to be somewhat alright, so it made sense for Alfur to give him a visibility contract. It could be easily redacted, anyway.

"What's going on?" Dude spoke, looking down at Alfur through his shades (which he continued to wear indoors for some reason).

"Oh, well," Alfur began, voice still laiden with worry, "Loch's… I don't think they're doing well, to be frank. They're still in the bathroom."

Dude raised a brow, and Alfur responded with an awkward and very telling expression- it took Dude a second, but quickly realised it was a meltdown thing and his usual flat expression twisted into a small frown.

Dude huffed and glanced towards the bathroom door, where the sound of running water could be heard. "Gotcha…" He said gruffly, and scratched at his goatee in thought.

Alfur watched closely as Dude made strides towards the bathroom and stopped just outside of it. He instinctively raised a leg to kick at it like he usually would, and then did a double-take and realised that might not be the best idea, considering. Dude shuffled towards the door and heard as the tap kept running, and then tried at the door handle. It wasn't budging.

"Ya done in there?" He questioned, "Can I come in?"

There was a just-about-too-long moment of quiet before Loch's response called out, "Uh- Uhm- Yeah, hang on."

There was the squeak of a tap turning off and then a couple footsteps, then the rattling of the lock being undone. Dude turned the handle, successfully this time, and poked his head into the bright, tiled room.

"Mm, hi…" Loch mumbled, shifting their weight as Dude's eyes landed on them.

"Hey there," Dude smiled, trying to lighten the dense atmosphere,"Everything alright? You're sure up late."

Alfur watched from the sidelines, his attention anxiously darting between the two as they conversed. He didn't know how Dude would handle this if it turned sour… And he wasn't the confrontational type to step in unless things were awful.

'Maybe I should have some more faith…' Alfur thought to himself as he watched Loch's expressions turn to a soft smile at Dude's presence. They clearly felt comfortable enough being around him; that was reassuring.

"I just- Yeah. Sorry about that. I hope I didn't wake you." Loch rambled, façade already beginning to crack as they're faced with someone watching them post-meltdown.

"Nope, I was already up. Going to hit the streets for a smoke, but I noticed you were up." Dude slowly moved towards Loch, reaching to place a hand on their shoulder. His touch was much gentler than it ever had been before, like he was afraid to hurt them. "So… what's up? You can talk about it, if you want to."

Loch's mind was buzzing with all the possible ways this interaction could turn- the remnants of their depressing thoughts still leaving a mark on them.

"It's… It's complicated. Couldn't sleep. Started thinking… 'Bout stuff."

Dude hummed and leant against the wall, "Anything in particular?"

Loch made eye contact with Dude for a second, and seemed even more at odds with themselves than before. Their instincts were to tell him, to let it all out, but there was some blockage there worrying about upsetting Dude in the process.

"Just… some of those old, cringey memories, ya know? Sorry, that's- that's pretty vague." Loch huffed, frustrated with themselves more than anything.

"Nah, that's alright. Take your time."

Both Loch and Alfur were momentarily stunned by this comment- Dude wasn't known for being very patient, so this was… It was clear he was putting in a lot of effort to let Loch get out what they needed to with support, instead of pushing them. A sweet gesture, to say the least.

"Okay, um- Oh, where to start…" Loch sat on the edge of the bathtub and rested their head in their palm. "There was just- there was this time… I mean, it was quite a while ago now, I don't even know why it still bugs me, but it feels like I'll never live it down."

Dude nodded, and watched them carefully, just listening to their ramble. He'd done this plenty before for some of his old friends… And for comforting himself, when he needed it.

Loch continued, "I just- I completely cocked up in front of this idol of mine, tried to impress them and… It didn't go well. I made a complete dick of meself. Guh…" They visibly cringed just thinking about it again. "And then there were others there, people I really look up to, they definitely saw. I know it's immature, but I don't think I could face them again."

"Ah… Is that what it is?" Dude asked.

Loch nodded in response, "Pretty much. I just… I hate being laughed at. It really fuckin' gets to me when people SEE me mess up, even strangers, so for it to be a celebrity- Uughhhh…" They groan and drag a hand down their face, running over their puffy eyes and red cheeks.

"Well, what do they matter?" The Postal Dude spoke plainly, tilting his head to the side. From the angle, Loch could make out the vibrant green of his eyes that followed them, and it made their heart skip a beat.

Loch let out a baffled sound. "Huh? Hm?"

"What does it matter if they did laugh at you, or aknowledge your mistake? You know they've probably made much worse mistakes in their time, don't you?"

"Well, of course. I mean, probably. But… They're, ya know…" Loch's speech trained off.

Dude tilted his head to the other side and raised his brows in a 'go on' kind of gesture, looking to see what Loch could mean by that. He could take a good guess, but it was better to hear it from their mouth.

"I really was- or am, yeah- I really am fans of them. It hurts to think that they could remember me like… that. They're so talented, it feels like a wasted chance, sorta." They hated it, but they felt themselves tearing up admitting this all. Acknowledging out loud that it could be a possibility shattering what was left of their emotionally-stable façade.

"Got it… May I?" Dude stood properly again and asked to sit beside Loch. When he got the 'OK' for it he budged up next to them and pulled them into a cozy side-hug. He could feel Loch's shoulders shake as they sobbed a little, and he hated to see them this way. It took a lot of willpower to stay calm- But he was mostly impressed by how much he could care so much for someone again. It had been a long, long time.

"I can't say I understand, Darlin'... You're definitely a bunch more talented than them, what are you so worried about?"

Loch wiped away a stray tear and scoffed, lightly jabbing Dude in the side before leaning back into his touch. "You're just buttering me up now."

"Well, maybe." Dude smiled, glad to see Loch have a little more fight left in them. "But really, what can they do that's better than you? There's no reason to hold em up to a standard that's higher than yourself. I don't see it… They're not all that important."

"Animation, music, the like…" Loch listed off, trying to think clearly. "I can draw but… They've got- they've garnered a following and worked their asses off. Feels like they're more worthy of- of I don't know- respect? More respect than what I showed them."

"Pfft, through an algorithm of mostly dumb luck? And you're saying that makes em somehow more worthy to judge you? Surely you know how that sounds." Dude couldn't help but poke holes in Loch's self-deprecting argument.

"Well… Yes. I suppose. But…"

"But? No, seriously, there's nothing that you should be putting yourself down for here. I've seen your work- It's goddamn impressive, I'll tell you that." Dude praised, and his cocky smirk grew into a toothy grin as he watched the praise sink in to Loch and bring out a genuine smile. He loved that look on them.

"I guess… Maybe it's something deeper than all this? I'm not sure. I get made fun of a lot- Less than I did as a teen, but still… It's kind of a sore spot to worry about being a laughing stock. If that makes any- any sense at all." Loch continued.

"It makes sense for you to feel that way," Dude started, and rested his chin on top of Loch's head. It made Loch's face flush further, being so close to him in a moment of real emotional intimacy. "You're not a laughing stock. You're a person. Like me, like everyone else. We all fuck up from time to time, some more than others. I mean…" He laughed, "Look at me."

From the hallway the tiny elf was still listening to this conversation. He had perched himself upon a nearby windowsill and listened intently, pleasantly surprised at the emotional literacy that the other man was displaying in this situation. He really had misjudged him, it seems. A satisfied smile grew on his little face from knowing Loch would be looked after in situations like this.

"Yeah, yeah, you're a mess, I know. I'm aware." Loch chuckled. "I- Hmm. Thanks." For a bilssfully quiet moment, Loch realised they had nothing else to refute. Their wounds weren't completely healed, but talking about it all made them feel a lot better.

After a solid minute of mutual silence in eachothers embrace, Loch let out a hefty breath they didn't realise they were holding, and stood up. They stretched their back out, feeling their bones pop with a satisfying sound.

"Yeah. Thanks, really." They reiterate, and turn back to Dude, who dusts himself off and follows in suit.

"It's no big deal. Glad you're feeling yourself again, sweetheart."

Loch let a soft expression fall onto their features from the pet name, and rubbed the back of their neck.

"So, shall we leave this god forsaken box?" Dude asked, offering an arm.

"Hah, in a minute- I'll catch up with you in the lounge, just need to tidy up me face first." The younger man replied, and turned towards the mirror-cabinet above the sink to do as they said.

"Alright, see you in a second."

With that out of the way, Dude stepped out of the room and back into the hall. He looked to his right and caught the eyeline of a certain Aldric, who didn't look nearly as worried anymore.

"So…" Dude mumbled, "you listened into all that?"

Alfur let a guilty chuckle escape him. "My apologies, I did. Um…" He averted his gaze to the floor, "Thank you for that. It was sweet, how you were with them."

Dude scratched at his stubble and looked away, an embarrassed blush rising on his cheeks. "Sure."

"For what it's worth," Alfur started, getting ready to hop off the windowsill. "I'm happy they have you. Maybe I could interview you sometime, get to know each other?" He reached the floor and paused momentarily, still rather nervous. "If that's of any interest to you, of course. I don't want to force you-"

"Alright." Dude answered quickly, his deep voice contrasting Alfur's higher-pitched accent. "That's fine by me. Next time we have a free moment, then."

"Yeah!" Alfur nodded happily, and wandered into the living room after Dude. "But for now, I should really try to convince Loch to sleep…"

"I'll grab the water." Dude stated without hesitation and marched towards the kitchen.

The elf watched him leave for the drink with a happy expression, the action pushing away any doubts he had beforehand. Dude really did care, deep down.

Alfur heard the switch of the bathroom light trigger behind him, and spun around to see Loch heading out.

"Oh, Alfur!" Loch smiled, and bent down to let Alfur climb aboard their shoulder. "Sorry about that, I hope you weren't too worried…"

The Aldric sat comfortably on his lover's shoulder and nuzzled affectionately into their neck.

"Not at all. I'm happy you're okay."