#I think honestly it would be more disrespectful to have bob and it not actually be bob.

[sciderman]

I feel like Karan Soni just should've been a Francis henchman Wade would kidnap, call him Bob and make him tell Wade everything about Francis, his plans and operations, he even could drive him around. It wouldn't be perfect but imo it'd be better than the disrespect Bob got in Deadpool 1.

i think the bob scene in deadpool 1 is hilarious and also do not know why you think bob is deserving of any kind of respect

[cathnospam]

Continuing from This Drabble about you and your BF Katsuki answering sex questions about each other<3

Black Female Reader x Katsuki Bakugo , mentions of panty stealer bakugo, slight smut???

“Okay uh, how do you rate your partners kisses 1-10.”

“9”

“9?! Muthafucka I taught you how to kiss—-“

“You always push back first like you can’t handle it, it pisses me off.”

“I like breathing.”

“So.”

Rolling your eyes, “I was ganna say 12/10, but since you’re being a bitch—“

“So, 12/10 got it. Next.”

“Does your partner have any dirty secrets?…oooh.—-”

“M’going to bed.” Bakugo immediately gets up to take off his tank top seeing as he was going to sleep in your dorm tonight, but as the shirt clung to his semi flexing biceps you grab him, “No, y/n.”

“Oh c’mon boy are the secrets THAT bad?! I’ll tell you mine at least—-fuck.” He considers for a moment. Curiosity weighing heavier than his will to sleep at the moment, “You ass.”

“What did you call me—“

“I think…” You place two fingers on his soft lips, “One secret is that……….one time, when you were out on work study you left your black tank top in my room….and….i missed you….and i was ovulating so i….put on your tank top and ….played…with myself.”

The air was thick, it’s as if Bakugo took it as he grew closer to you while speaking, there wasn’t much to make him speechless but dammit that’s a new one.

Fuck. That’s actually more sexier than he wants to admit right now. He crossed his legs, hoping a tent won’t form in his grey sweats and noticed your eyes wandering at every part of your room but his eyes.

“I…moaned your name too.”

“You…you damn….pervert fuck—-“ His voice almost broke into a groan, looking away also embarrassed you knew he didn’t mean it in a malicious way from how he looked back at you, Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down, “Stop acting fucking weird. You did it. Who cares. As long as it was MY name you moaned.”

“Of course dumbass. I only want you…”

Bakugo felt his ears burning, already annoyed he was flustered once he groaned, “I took your panties once.”

“What?”

“Why the hell would you wear that lacy frilly shit during class in that short ass skirt? It’s like you want those idiots to see you.”

“That CANNOT be the reason—“

“IT IS. If you’re ganna wear ‘em wear them IN OUR dorms you dumbass.”

“…well.”

“Well what.” He pouts.”

“Well where the fuck are they I like wearing them after I get waxed.”

Bakugo hesitates, not wanting to actually answer mainly because he doesn’t just have ONE pair of panties. But a few. “I’ll show you later.”

“Tch.” You mock his sounds, “Ever use ‘em to masturbate?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You giggle, you can only imagine what his perverted ass has done with them. And the last time you seen them was in your hamper so you assumed they got lost somewhere in the laundry. Honestly it’s kinda….interesting he’s telling you this.

“Does your partner have any no’s during?”

“I’m not calling you a bitch.”

“Aw.” You sarcastically sigh, “Why.”

“Why the hell would I call you out your name—“

“You called me your slut yesterday.”

“…Slip of the tongue.” He crosses his arms like a child, making you giggle. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize it was hot.” You say adjusting yourself closer to him, you could actually feel the heat from his body rise as you kept speaking, “It’s fine. Degrading isn’t something I’d need from you anyway.”

“I don’t get that kink, who the hell likes to be disrespected by someone they…are y’know with.”

You shrug, you understand why certain people have kinks, but it’s hard to put in words for someone like Katsuki. He’s a very simple man when it comes to relationships. Almost traditional and old fashion which is what charmed you the most about him. He never even called you a bitch before in any sense nor has he ever told you anything that would genuinely hurt your feelings, “Some people are just into that.” You concluded, your boyfriend looks at you with an unresolved look, but accepts it anyway. Weirdos.

“I wouldn’t hit you either. Like in the face or anything. Only on the ass”

“Good because my face is too pretty for that.” Katsuki smirks at you, you’re absolutely right you’re too pretty for him to hit.

“Nobody else.”

“Hm?”

“…Nobody else is allowed to join us.”

Squinting for a moment his statement clicks , “OH! No threesomes and stuff. Oh yeah of course not. If I see you with any other girl I’ll kill you and her.”

Katsuki swallowed his laughter, masking it with a clearing of his throat, your eyes not tearing from his making sure he knew you were serious. You don’t scare him typically, but he knew the moments when you genuinely had an aura about you that screamed “Fucking try to play with me.” And this was one of those moments. “You look at me like I didn’t just fucking say —“

“I know.” Your voice cracked a little trying to cover up the jealous tone you were about to spew out. Just the thought of Katsuki touching another girl had you upset.

Little did you know it was the same for him with you.

“Anything else?”

“I won’t do race or age play.”

“What the hell…?—-“

“Well I am black so obviously no and then you have age play which is just a cute way of saying you like children—-“

“WHAT?”

You pause to cover up his loud mouth with your small hands, “SSSHH! Before we get in trouble again!…anyway moving on!”

Not wanting to argue, he takes your laptop and smacks your hand away, “What is something you DONT like that your partner does during sex.”

“Take my laptop away from me.”

He strikes you and look, he doesn’t say anything verbally but he says “quit fucking around” with his eyes, admitting defeat that he won’t give you back your laptop you sit back and think for a moment.

“Eh…Oh! I don’t like that you won’t let me ride you.”

Damn it.

He had a feeling you’d say that too. Bakugo scratches the back of his neck roughly while letting out a groan. Throwing his head back a little he side eyes you, “Why do you wanna be on top so bad. I’m the man I should—“

“It’s not even about dominating you or anything you can still fuck me from below, ‘Suki. You’ll still have all the power.”

Bakugo has seen porn videos where the guy fucks up into the girl. Even some where the man is straight up holding the girl up and pumps her full. It’s so erotic he couldn’t even finish the video, but even though he enjoys vanilla sex, he is quite certain riding him isn’t too far off from what he likes.

Besides he loves having your tits bounce in his face and feeling your nipples practically bounce into his mouth makes up of great reason.

“…Fine. But when I’M ready.”

“Yaaaayy mkay….now what is something YOU don’t like about me.”

“You’re ganna be pissed.”

Your smiles immediately transforms into a straighten line, “Uh oh.”

“I don’t …like when you cum too fast.”

It was a bit embarrassing yet confusing to hear. Clearly that means he’s doing a good job so why —

“Because I want to keep fucking you.” Bakugo speaks up as if he read your inner thoughts, all you could do was blink a few times at him, and he continued more, “Even though I don’t cum until after you do which isn’t that long, sometimes I wanna keep going. I’ve timed it, the moment I start fucking you sex only last about 6-8 minutes.”

“That’s average. Some people are 2-3 minutes.” You spoke with an unimpressed and deadpanned voice mostly because this sounded ludicrous to you and Bakugo seen it in your expression causing him to sigh in annoyance. “Shouldn’t your ego be filled knowing you make me cum fast?”

“Yeah, but —-fuck sue me for wanting more. And don’t say some shit like I’m a nympho or some shit because that’s fucking disgusting and those freaks are usually only in a relationship to fuck—-“

“OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN, BOY!” His voice kept getting louder and louder and you refused to have another write up because you have him in your dorm past curfew…again. “I get it though.”

“You want to be overstimulated.”

What? Bakugo scrunched yo his eyebrows. He never heard that term before used when talking about sex.

“Overstimulated means …well… showing you is actually better than telling you.”

In an instant Bakugo’s furrowed eyebrows soften, his gaze transitioned from confused to darker and subtly lustful. You felt the vibe of the room change so quickly you practically had to clear your throat to make him focus again.

“So the next question…”

“Nah, show me.” He firmly shuts your computer and places it on your nightstand. Arms still crossed, “Show me what that word means or should I look up a video and figure it out myself.”

“….y’can.”

It wasn’t ideal for your evening to end like this with him, but it’s just you and your slightly horny boyfriend watching porn videos.

What’s the worse that can happen?

[blog-by-kij]

The amount to which I get mad at this and the degree to which I want to defend the show SpongeBob and everyone who works on it is honest to god excessive and frankly pathetic BUT

That’s what tumblr is for. This is the last website standing where I can be insane publicly and it’s ok, and if I don’t exercise my rights why have them? You are so god damn annoying if you whine bitch and complain about “nEw sPoNgeBob iS bAd and aWeFUL aNd tErriBle and ALL hE dOEs iS CRY and hE uSeD to hAve a peRoNaLiTy iN OLD bob AND tHe aNiMaTioN is BAD nOw aND iTs SHIt nOw aNd tHe CrEAtoR wOuLd HaTe it Now anD THe wRIteRs SuCk nOw” and on and on and on. Like god. That’s annoying enough on its own honestly because it so disrespectful and disgraceful to the creators and writers of the show. Like how dare you honestly, think you know better than them. How dare you put words into anyone’s mouth about their own creation…god forbid if they’re not alive anymore! You are sick in the head if you do that!! Vile behavior!!

Every day I’m thankful that I don’t work in any part of this show because it would just kill my heart if I ever had to log on and all I see is people talking like that. You all suck because you say you love artists and creators but not when they create anything new. You all suck because you demand something impossible from creators and that’s to create something new that’s old that your nostalgia infected brain would like.

But it’s also pokes my bone because none of you fuckers who hate the show now have even seen any of the new stuff!!! Perform research before commenting!!! You literally are stuck on season 5 please move past season 5 or 6 or whichever one it was that you decided you were too old for please. We are on the 14th season oh my god give it a fucking chance. Good god how could you honestly just write off literally ALL of that, all of the writers, all of the animators, all of the creators of the newer stuff just like that for no real reason other than you assume it’s bad???? What because it’s…. n e w ….and you hate new things???? What the fuck is art for if not make new things??? Yes SpongeBob is art, everything creative is art, I rest in peace on this hill.

By the way it is one million and one percent fine to have grown out of something and moved on in life but whyyyyy WHHYY do you then need to denigrate the show, the process and the artists for something that’s still going just because you’ve outgrown it now? So what, now every media, every art that you grow out of has to stop existing just because you don’t like it anymore? Freak.

I hate nostalgia so much honestly because it just mind numbing stupid nonsense. I hate nostalgia as a concept and even more as an identity because it’s controlling and restrictive in how it doesn’t want anything new ever be made and it expects nothing new ever be good and how it deliberately seeks our negativity and how it inherently forces you to remain in the past which is not even possible! Sucks to be nostalgic because life is better now than it was then, yes it actually is better now. The only reason why you could say it was better then is because you was a literal goo for brains child and everyone else around you took care of your problems, and tbh children tend to have less problems generally (hopefully) (but on the contrary they also don’t deal with those problems as well as adults). Nostalgia as an identity to identify with is bad for you because it keeps you in this weird annoying negative self pity party that wants nothing to grow past or beyond whatever the time period it is and it also wants you to never grow beyond that point too!!! Nostalgia want to make you blame everyone and everything else for why your life isn’t like how it was when you were a child when the simple answer for that is that it’s just because you’re not a child anymore and actually…that’s fine. That’s literally how it’s supposed to be? That’s life and why that’s something negative for you and why you would want to permanently remain a child is mysterious to me.

Also, like no shit technology is better now than in the 90s. No shit animation companies will use the newer and better technology that makes it easier and yes better. Oh my god do you want them to….…not??? Fucking why?? It’s big “my favorite artists are not popular, suffer, and starve and if they get too popular I don’t like them anymore” energy.

Yes this triggers me no I don’t care if you think that’s pathetic because it is but so is constantly badgering and trashing something you’ve never seen just because you’re too old now, so is trashing on the good work of creators and the creators themselves just because you don’t like it, so is assuming that you’re right and having no evidence to back it up, so is deciding that you’re right for stupid nonsense reasons, and so is being permanently stuck in nostalgia. If ever you say you respect artists then actually fucking do it.

[marvelwinchester67]

MAJOR STRANGER THINGS VOLUME 2 SPOILERS BELOW

………………………………………………………………………………

Honestly, fuck the duffer brothers. The minute Nancy said she wanted to kill Vecna I knew something would go horribly wrong.

The minute that Eddie cut that damn rope and decided to stay behind I knew something would happen. Yet I held onto the hope that he’d be ok and Dustin would reach him in time.

I’m sorry, but if Steve can survive the demo-bats, why couldn’t Eddie? Why couldn’t he live? What was the fucking point of any of the last two episodes if they were just gonna kill off one of THE BEST characters to be introduced on this god forsaken show? It was supposed to be his year, and instead, he sacrificed himself for no goddamn reason.

Because the whole town still believes him to be a murderer and satanist. The only one who even remotely cares for him (besides Dustin) is his uncle. Who, despite seeing all the hatred for his nephew and the blatant disrespect towards him, still believes him to be alive and innocent, until Dustin tells him what happened (without telling him the real reason he died). He hands him that damn guitar pick necklace and calls Eddie a hero, he tells Wayne that he wished people had gotten to know him the way he did because they would’ve loved him. I know I did. I still do. But here’s why I REFUSE to believe he’s really dead.

1) Dustin still refers to him in the present tense. Instead of saying “He WAS a hero.” He says “He IS a hero” and that could just be nothing, but I’m holding onto the little crumbs that I can.

2) where’s his body? I know for a damn fact that Dustin never would’ve left him behind like that. He cares way to much about people to just blatantly disrespect him like that in the end. Especially after he begged Eddie to stay with him.

3) why is no one else talking about him? He literally died saving their asses, and the ONLY one who mourns him is Dustin. We know that Mike looked up to him, so why didn’t we see Dustin tell him what happened to their friend? Why didn’t we get to see Mike mourn him to? Why didn’t Steve or Robin or hell, even Nancy, say anything about him. They literally just left him there and acted like he wasn’t the reason they’re still alive (partially)

4) it was Nancy’s plan to kill Vecna. It was her idea to use a LITERAL CHILD and Eddie as bait to lure the demo-bats away when she KNEW what they were capable of doing. She only cared about killing Vecna. I mean, they almost killed Steve, but they didn’t because all of them showed up in the nick of time to save him. She should’ve known better than to have only two people be bait for those bats when she also knew what Vecna was capable of. He SHOWED her what he was gonna do, yet she still decided to kill him. And even that didn’t fucking work because he’s still alive.

5) the duffer brothers said that not all of our questions would be answered in this volume, and that we’d have to wait for season 5 to get those answers. BUT, why have Joseph Quinn petition for more scenes with Charlie in season 5? Why bait us into thinking they wouldn’t pull a Bob on us and kill him off? Why create such a lovable character, WHO WASNT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE LOVABLE IN THE FIRST PLACE CAUSE THEY WANTED HIM TO BE SCARY AND MEAN, just for us to get attached to him and be disappointed in the end?

6) if his body was never brought back to Hawkins, if he’s still there, if they just left him there, then maybe, just maybe, a hopper will be pulled and he’ll be revealed to still be alive, albeit severely injured and alone in the upside down.

7) if Max can survive being folded in half by Vecna, ACTUALLY DYING, going blind and being in a coma, then surely Eddie could survive a swarm of demo-bats? Right? I mean, I’d rather him be in a coma than dead, because then at least we’d know he’s still alive.

8) Dustin deserved so much more than having to watch as his newest best friend goes off on his own to be a “hero” when his whole character arc was about him NOT being a hero, just to watch him die in his arms as he begged him to stay alive long enough to get help. But it also begs the question. Why didn’t Dustin signal for help? Why didn’t he radio Steve, Robin and Nancy and tell them what happened and that he needed help immediately? Lucas can beg for Erica to get help for Max, but Dustin can’t beg his friends to do the same either? It’s bullshit. Utter and complete bullshit

9) for it only being two days later, it seems awfully suspicious that Dustin is out helping and volunteering at the school when his friend literally just died in his arms less than 48hrs ago. Now, that could just be because he needs to take his mind off of things. He needs a distraction from the grief so he doesn’t break down and blame himself. Because we all know Dustin, he absolutely would blame himself for what happened in the upside down two days ago. But it still seems a little suspicious that he’s there, runs into Wayne and then tells him his nephew IS a hero and not WAS a hero. Again, it could just be his way of coping, trying to pretend that Eddie’s death wasn’t as traumatic and heartbreaking as it was. But we are talking about the same kid who found a baby demogorgon and tried to raise it as a pet in secret. So it would in no way surprise me if he found a way to hide Eddie away somewhere and try to keep it to himself without telling anyone about it. Remember, eventually his friends did find out that Dart was still with Dustin, and they were mad at him for keeping it when he knew it was a monster (but Eddie’s not a demogorgon so they wouldn’t be mad at him, just confused)

10) which leads me to my final theory and point. Vecna survived in the upside down for years. Yes, he has psychic abilities that are extremely powerful, and yes he was infected by the atmosphere over time, but he still survived it, just with a new look. If Vecna can survive that place, why couldn’t Eddie? We already know he’s pretty decent at hiding, and he’s been taking care of himself for a while now because his uncle is rarely home due to working all the time. So why couldn’t he? If Henry/001 can do it, then it stands to reason that, even though Eddie has no psychic powers, he could still survive. He’s been doing it his whole life. Also, why mention his dad? Why give us any inclination of his home life before Wayne if you were just gonna kill him? Either that’s just lazy writing, or there was a point and we’ll see it in season 5 (which I hope to god it wasn’t just a plot hole to make us even more invested in his character because they already knew what would happen to him and that we’d all be upset we got Eddie and his dad crumbs just for nothing to come of it)

So, all in all, I was excited for no god damn reason, the duffer brothers really hyped up so much just for none of it to happen, I have, and always will be anti-Nancy, the entirety of volume two deserved better than what it got, we, as a fandom, deserved so much more than what we got, and I hope to god that season 5 is entirely different from this. We did not deserve to be introduced to such an amazing and complex character again, only for him to be killed, again. I actually cried when jopper kissed, I’ve been waiting for so long for them to be happy, I started sobbing again when Dustin told Wayne about Eddie, only for more sobbing to ensue when El and Hopper reunited (because I was not about to end that damn catastrophe of a volume without an El and Hopper reunion) I also will always refuse to believe Eddie is dead, because I feel like I’ve actually lost someone important to me in real life. Like, I KNOW emotional damage, but that was on a whole other level. I get attached to characters so easily, and Eddie was one of them. Still is. That soft doe-eyed metal head swooped in, stole my heart, made me fall in love, and then ripped it out slowly and painfully with that scene. I absolutely adore Joseph Quinn, and that’s coming from someone who’d never even heard of him before this season came out. He did an absolutely fantastic job with Eddie freaking Munson and he totally deserves better than the shit ending they gave him. This post ended up being really long, but honestly who cares. I’m so done with shows like this having an interesting plot in the first half and then throwing that entire plot away in the second. It’s shit writing, it’s a shit ending, and I refuse to believe that any of it happened.

[aggravatetheaxe]

slamming fists on table give us those headcanons

okokokokok!!

the thing is he's such a complete and well rounded character already it's hard to have headcanons about him really but here is a non exhaustive random list!! this got a lot longer than i anticipated, sorry, i just can't stop talking about him. i had to force myself to quit typing

born 1965 by my own fucked up lil calculations

i'm not dead set on this but i think it would be cute if he owned rats or ferrets

doesn't like cats. probably from bad experiences as a kid :( that's why he got a banana sticker for being nice to this cat

but ya know i think he could get used to a specific cat if he lived with it for a while! they just aren't his cuppa tea

this is actually canon but i just never stop thinking about it: he injured his left knee playing basketball when he was 12 so he's got a slight limp and needs his left pedal loosened

trans gendered , of course

i hc him as bisexual, maybe with a compulsive lean toward the ladies? just because, well, he was queer in the 80s. he had to choose who he was getting with carefully, for more than one reason. later on in life i can see him relaxing more into the full range of his sexuality though. yay for progress!

"pickles" is a family nickname. he doesn't remember why or where he got it, he's just always always been called that. it feels more like his name than anything else, so he just... made it his name! that's why his family never deadnames him - they've never really called him "shannon"

in that same vein i hc he was born shannon kelly. his deadname is one of those things where like he's not traumatized by it (for previously stated reasons) but it just literally is not his name and has never been, so it'd be like calling him... franklin or bob or jessica. like, who? plus, you know, it's pretty disrespectful and where did you hear that name charles have this man killed-

you and i were talking about this the other day, but i think it'd be funny if he doesn't even like pickles. he used to guzzle pickle juice for the electrolytes but he just uses guitarade now. "pickles" slowly became less of a family nickname and more a reference to him constantly being pickled, as in drunk. also a bit of a play on the fact that he does Not have a penis

seth is his older brother! and seth isn't always acutely awful toward him, they are capable of bonding, but mostly he's acutely awful

i hc seth may have helped him out with something bad at one point and that's why pickles feels so beholden to him specifically (in my magpickles fic it's the pregnancy)

doesn't mind having a tdick and a vagina, but he refers to his genitals as his "dick" almost exclusively. the real dysphoria was with his chest and he tended to injure himself binding back in the day

looked like THIS at the age of 16, so we have to believe he was bullied pretty fucking badly in school for being a "dyke," right? that's probably why he can take a beating and is so prepared to get in fights. he's never taken physical violence lying down (even from his family... but their emotional abuse hurts more)

started living as a boy on the road to LA (easier, safer) and everything just....clicked

okay so like... in SNB we see him wearing a beard but honestly that makes no sense to me, historically. no glam metal band on this earth had a member, especially not a frontman, who wasn't clean shaven. but alas, we're stuck with the ahistorical beard. so i'm just gonna say it was false

i know realistically he's probably something like 5'5" but i'm 5'2" and i think it would be hilarious if he was 5'3". i'm not dead set on it though. either way. small

again not really a headcanon, but definitely the one out of the band who can hold his liquor the best

terrified of the institution of marriage, of dating, and indeed anything that is considered "normal" in that regard. two and a half kids and a picket fence sounds like his literal hell world. of course, this is because of trauma and internal issues, and could be worked on, but i don't see him ever wanting kids. he'd rather be an uncle.

tony thunderbottom is his oldest friend and was the person who got him into SNB

in turn, magnus hammersmith was a touring member of SNB for a number of years and pickles hooked him up with dethklok. magnus, pickles, and nathan were the core of the original dethklok (explaining magnus's weird megalomania and insistence that the band is "his"), murderface kind of came as a package deal with nathan, and magnus and/or pickles sniped skwisgaar from smugly dismissed

BUSH. firecrotch

[derangedhyena-delphinidae]

numerous issues with “The Aftermath of Seaworld”

When I get time to do so (aka when I’m done with the documentary), I’m likely going to make a video version of this going into the details. 

But for right now, I’ve made this. Both as a guideline for me and so everyone can begin to get an idea of the severity of issues involved.

Researching things is time-consuming and can be very difficult - believe me, I know. But I’m of the mind that if you’re making content with the intent of educating people, you have a responsibility to perform a certain level of due diligence. It IS okay to express uncertainty or doubt if you have it. It is NOT okay to confidently assert things that you do not know with certainty.

The video has an anticap slant, and I’m obviously not disagreeing on that front. But again: if you’re gonna go through the trouble of teaching people something. Bare minimum... please make sure it’s actually correct. *** 1) x ‘founded in 1964 and based out of Florida’ -  ???? Seaworld definitively began on the west coast, in San Diego, CA. And given that the first park opened in early 1964… things came together before that. Uh? 2) x ‘four people founded Seaworld [...]’ For one… it wasn’t originally conceived as a restaurant, it was originally conceived as an underwater bar/lounge. Two… calling the four guys involved in founding the place “frat brothers” is fucking ridiculous and completely overlooks a) how each was actually involved and b) the overall significance of their contributions to the field as individuals. Hint: like it or not, they were important and did a lot! 

3) x If one is going to bring up SWBGCF/rescues while talking about the literal founding of SW, it gives the impression that it’s been around for that duration. It hasn’t.  It’s actually a bit unclear when SW started an organized rescue program, but the Fund itself and all that it did came about much later. The rescue information and how it’s presented is actually INCREDIBLY complex, nuanced, and has a fascinating history (from a “bad company behaving badly” perspective). Oversimplifying this, to this degree and in this misinformative way, does the facts of the situation an INCREDIBLE disservice.  

4) x [assertive statement about what the name Shamu means]  ….Uh actually there’s several explanations for the name Shamu, and the most likely one IMO seems to be the “she-namu” one, not the “friend of Namu” one(? What is this even based on.) 4b) It’s not quite clear if she’s saying “Namu was the first ever orca to be displayed and perform shows” or or Namu was the first to be displayed and, like Shamu, performed shows. Either way, Moby Doll was the first to truly be displayed to the public, not Namu.

5) x ‘Namu died after one year in captivity and you’d think that this might deter Seaworld from doing the same thing again…’ Seaworld truly had nothing to do with Namu. And they leased/took possession of Shamu before Namu died. ‘Again’? What?

6) x “Now, PETA paints a pretty disturbing picture…” [while showing Okura’s artwork] This video segment is, and this is putting it nicely, a pile of poorly-researched BULLSHIT.  -Yes, PETA talks about Shamu’s capture, re: the harpooning of her mother. This Youtuber cannot apparently be arsed to look more than 1 Google search into this, as she proceeds to dismiss the information as potentially fabricated. There are two detailed accounts of Shamu’s capture that I’m aware of - in books - and though they have some slight conflicts, it’s absolutely NOT in doubt that the female who was very likely Shamu’s mother was 1) harpooned, 2) died from her injuries and 3) this had been done to make her easier to catch/locate because there was a fucking buoy attached to the harpoon. Which she dragged around for at least 24 hours prior dying.  So maybe don’t dismiss that as PETA hysteria, maybe TRY to determine the truth of the matter, which would inform one that it is both true and completely horrifying.  -In addition, Okura is an awesome individual who has worked very hard to create a variety of informative artwork for our cause. Okura is NOT associated with PETA and it’s borderline libel in my eyes to use their artwork in this dismissive manner when the primary sources of it can be easily identified online, with full explanations and everything. Do I take special offense to this because of the misuse of artwork? Absolutely. Artists get disrespected enough online. I’m tired of it. This kind of laziness IS NOT acceptable.

7) x ‘timeline is fuzzy about when Shamu died’ …………… it’s…. It’s really not … newspapers are pretty clear about it…..

8) x [complete and utter oversimplification of the lifespan issue, which is not acceptable for anything published in 2020. It just isn’t. If you’re going to bring it up like this, either do the legwork and get into the weeds or stay out.] 8b) [same for reproductive ages. sigh]

9) x if we’re going to talk about when Cornell was involved with Seaworld it’s very important to specify when Cornell was involved with Seaworld and not make it seem like it’s present tense.

10) x “both were rescued by Seaworld” - uh? no. Zero orcas have been rescued by Seaworld. Literally none. The infected-jaw orca was Sandy, whose story is complex and certainly does not involve Seaworld until much later. And many of the orcas in that time period had bullet wounds, often only identified post-mortem because they didn’t seem to hurt the animals much. Also, unflinchingly blending 70s captivity ethics with modern ones is also complete nonsense? 

11) x [tilikum coming from sealand] inhales I am going to make an entire video centered on this fucking subject because it’s one of the single most profound arguments for Seaworld being garbage as assessed by US government agencies in the 90s yet everyone utterly fails to mention this. Why?!

12) x what on earth is this nonsense re: quoting a quote from Zimmerman’s article - which has already been removed from its original context, so the original context is not available - and then penalizing the quote for existing as if Zimmerman’s article were the context? That is offensively disingenuous. I honestly don’t know what the original context is, either - but it’s wildly inappropriate to act as if the Zimmerman article is.

13) x this is relatively minor but ‘Paul Sprong’? You literally have his name on the screen. And then mis-reading his age too? While asserting it from a static article published years ago? Effort? Where is it?

14) x ‘another trainer, Peter’ ….. Ken Peters…. 

15) [weirdly glossing over the widely-available list of orca-trainer injuries/aggressions, despite it being central to the point.] 16) x This pilot whale outrage certainly happened but it was pretty clearly Blackfish that started the cascade of woes for Seaworld. Who has ever asserted this?

17) if you’re gonna just rehash blackfish, tell people to go watch blackfish.

18) x I’ve already gone over the context issue with Seaworld calling out Howard’s statement in Blackfish here (point 23). Which is to say, IN CONTEXT in Blackfish it’s clear what Mr. Garrett is talking about but, divorced from that, it sounds incorrect. But this Youtuber AMPLIFIES the issue by doubling down on the assertion with “no record of a killer whale doing any harm to anyone in the wild.” The surfer event should always be mentioned. Yes, there’s absolutely room for doubt. But there’s also a clear demarcation between an accidental attack (eg mistaken identity, as was likely for the surfer) and intentional one (eg the incidents at marine parks.) Why do people kneecap themselves on this point 18b) please stop acting like Luna represents orcas in general.

19) x “Howard, for all of his research…” … while referring to David Duffus’ b-roll and statements. Uh. 20) x Apparently this Youtuber has single-handedly resolved the dorsal fin issue. You know, the thing that hasn’t been properly researched ever, that has been subject to a ton of debate, that isn’t 100% settled for a variety of reasons, and almost everyone talks about in terms of theories and likely possibilities.  21) x Alexis Martinez wasn’t “torn to shreds.” In a space where even moderate exaggerations are often penalized harshly by the opposition, this kind of blatant nonsense is not welcome. Plus, the reality’s bad enough… you don’t have to make anything up!

22) x *sighs. points at own webpage*

23) Talking about the shows stopping without acknowledging how that’s a bit of a farce is something else. In addition to apparently just flipping to buying what Seaworld’s selling re: its ‘improved image.’ 

*** Tl;dr video is so unrelentingly full of errors ranging from small to egregious it makes me seriously concerned for the veracity of the rest of this person’s content. The maker of the video provided a list of their sources in their video description, which I will have time to look through in detail later. The above is solely a response to the information they present IN THE VIDEO - which, is very important because let’s be real: a lot of people are not going to look at the list of sources. People don’t even do it when citing papers (no really, you’d be surprised, fml.) For anyone who wants to whinge that I haven’t linked or asserted any sources of my own for my claims… well, remember what I said about time-consuming and ‘I’m busy’? Yhea. Getting all of that together will be part of making a video. So if you want to shrug loudly at my list here… you can, that’s your prerogative, I’m happy to say I DGAF if that’s your takeaway. 

What I hope, is that if there’s anything I’ve made clear over the While of running this blog, it’s that I don’t fuck around when it comes to sources and information and do my best to provide what information exists, all of it, not just cherrypicked bits and bobs. Anyways. Here’s step 0 at least. Please don’t share that video. Pretty please.

[drawlfoy]

Wonders of Ohio P.8

masterlist (read parts 1-7 here!) request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: no ma’am this was spawned in the pits of my hell brain

summary: y/n’s family takes on a particularly mysterious exchange student, draco malfoy. fyi: this is NOT a non magic AU--draco is still a wizard

warnings: swearing, college admissions (ew), vague mentions of a car accident

a/n: hey...ahahahaha yeah so when i disappeared from the writing scene i was actually sitting on this chapter because i wanted to finish the entire scene up until draco came back home, but i haven’t quite figured out how everything is going to work in the middle of this story bc we’re getting into the thick of it. things are only going to get more and more wild and while i have the ending already written (oopsies), there’s still a lot to cover between december and august. i promise you it’ll be worth it tho--thanks so much for waiting!

word count: 2.5k

no music recs because i wrote this in november and i don’t remember ANYTHING!

tags tags tags (message me if you’d like to be tagged!) @icintliviinyiniilsiji @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan

Y/N froze as she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

In any other situation, she would have fibbed, the lies rolling off her tongue and falling into a neat pile.

But this wasn’t just any situation. 

“Drac--uh, Draco,” she began, rather lamely. She wondered if he could see what she had been doing and then immediately stopped that train of thought--of course he could, she was sitting there crouched with his letters all over the floor next to her.

Y/N had never seen him look so terrible--his eyes were saucers and his fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“What’s up?” she asked. Maybe I got really lucky and he hasn’t noticed yet.

His mouth opened and closed a few times as he seemed to agonize over what to say. 

“Give me those letters back,” he finally said. “And come into my room. We need to talk.”

She scrambled to get everything back into the satchel--honestly, how had all those fit into such a tiny bag?--and tossed it into his hand. He refused to make eye contact and instead yanked her into his room, shutting the door before closing the blinds.

“Uh...what’s going o--”

“Don’t play dumb,” he snapped. “You know what you read.”

She withered under his gaze, all of a sudden trained on her with a heat that could melt through iron. 

“Here’s how this is going to go,” he said tying up the satchel and tossing it into a drawer. “You’re going to sit right there and tell me everything that you know. And no lying. I can always tell.”

Something about the weight of his words told her that the last part wasn’t hyperbole. “O--okay. Um, I know that you’re kind of strange, and I know that your family definitely isn’t into politics because unless you’ve changed your name I haven’t been able to find shit on your family...I know that you’re here for some kind of punishment, or at least that’s what the letter said, and that wherever you’re from believes in, uh, magic, or something…”

Y/N had never been so scared of Draco as she was right then. He stood looming over her, his eyes calculating and cold. “You’re telling the truth.”

“Uh--how did you--”

“Is there anything else you want to know? Ask now or forever hold your peace. I promise I’ll take care of this.”

Y/N blinked. “What? What do you mean take care…”

“Don’t...just don’t ask that right now.” Draco’s demeanor made a switch from intimidating to exhausted. His previous towering presence looked more mournful than anything. 

“Ok,” said Y/N, willing to take something else over nothing. “So...why are you here? Where are you actually from? What happened to your dad?”

Draco drew in a few slow breaths. “My family’s name is Malfoy. I never lied to you about that. We’re from England, like you think. But we’re not really from the same world as you.”

He looked at her, gauging her reaction. When nothing came, he continued. “I’m...magic, as you would probably say. Like, wizards and witches and shit. Like the stuff all of you here celebrate for Halloween. Just more real.”

“You’re off your rocker is what you are,” said Y/N. “Magic isn’t real.”

“You’re right, it isn’t,” Draco replied, his tone wearing down. “Not to you. It’s very real to me.”

“Were you in a cult or something because that’s absolute batshit cra--”

“Oh my fucking God can you just listen,” he said in one long-winded breath. “Thank you. Not that it matters that much if you actually believe me and I’m not allowed to show you any magic--they almost sent me back home for spelling my hair neat that one time in the car with you--but you should believe. Did you really think you were just sick after Homecoming? Like, did you think that was the common cold or something?”

“Well…” Y/N trailed off as realization dawned on her.

“I don’t know how you got into that store, but it was magic. Whatever object you picked up did something to you. You would’ve died from muggle care--the only possible treatment was extracting whatever magic had somehow gotten inside you.”

“So you were the person in my dream.”

“Yes. Anyways. So back in England, my family got wrapped up in some...dark business with a very evil wizard. I had to do some things that I’d rather not get into, and those things were serious offenses in the eyes of the Ministry--which is like your government. I was sent here as a punishment instead of something more severe.”

Y/N snorted. “Assuming all of this is true, why did you get sent to America? Normally exchange students see trips to the US as a kind of vacation...but I do understand the part of Ohio being used as a punishment.”

His face was void of amusement. 

“I wasn’t sent here because Ohio is boring,” he said. “I was sent here to be forced to assimilate into muggle society--”

“Muggle?”

“People who aren’t magic. Anyways, that was the punishment. Having to live with and associate with muggles, far enough away from home that I faced no threat of vigilantism and couldn’t escape.”

“Oh.” Y/N deflated into her seat as it all began to hit her. So that was why Draco was so disgusted with her. There was a reason why some gut feeling told her that he would never see her like....that.

“Anyways, for the less exciting part.” Draco turned to rifle around the jewelry box they’d kept in the guest room. “It’s crucial to the safety of my people that you don’t know about us. Muggles get scared, and sometimes they hurt us. They nearly wiped us out a few generations ago.” 

He turned around, wielding a small wooden cube that glimmered in the light. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. I have to do this. If they know you know, they’ll send me away.”

“Do...what?” She stared up at him as he approached, holding the square out in his palms. “Draco, what’s going--”

“I told you I’d take care of it,” he said, his tone pleading. “I’m going to make you forget.”

~

Y/N eyes flickered open. It was chilly in her room--one look confirmed the fact that her window was wide open--but she had a thick blanket pulled over her. As she shed the last pulses of drowsiness, one thought bubbled to the surface: 

That fucker.

She sat up, threw the blankets off her bed, and started towards the guest room.

“Hey,” she said, yanking the door open and standing in front of a very surprised Draco. “Nice try. Are we actually gonna talk this through, or are you gonna put me to sleep again?” 

“Wha-”

“I remember everything, dipshit. Especially the part where you didn’t let me say my piece before you knocked me out.”

“I-”

“Try and steal my memories again and it’s on sight, Draco.” Y/N sucked in a deep breath and finally slumped down onto his bed. “You were saying?”

“How did you...er...you’re not supposed to remember me,” he said. “Do you have any magic blood in your family? Do you know?”

“Look around. If we had magic blood we wouldn’t be living in Ohio.”

“I’m not joking around.” He joined her and laid back. Y/N tried to not make a mental note of how a few strands of his hair brushed up against her cheek for a second. He smelled of peppermint and pine. “There’s no reason why that shouldn’t have worked. You definitely aren’t magic--I can feel it, no offense--and that Obliviation cube was explicitly created to work on muggles and wipe specific memories of magic.”

“I guess I’m just better.”

“Not funny. I’m definitely going to get sent to some random village in...I don’t know, Siberia for this. And your whole family will be obliviated. The whole point of me telling you was so I could get you to understand why I had to wipe your memory.”

“That’s horribly disrespectful, you know. Not even asking for my consent before doing such a thing? Try again.”

“I will,” he said, sitting up and grabbing the cube again. 

Y/N sprung up and scooted away. “Wait! Wait! That was a joke! Can’t we just talk this through? I’m a really good liar.”

“Lying doesn’t matter in front of the Ministry. They have their ways.”

“And what’s the Ministry going to do?” she asked. “Because, right now, it looks like I know about your secret and they’re not knocking down my door yet. Are they seriously going to break into my own home and perform some kind of lie detector test on me out of the blue? Are they really gonna cause a scene like that? No? I didn’t think so.”

Draco looked even paler than usual as he examined her from the other side of the bed, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed. “I hope you’re grasping the severity of this. This isn't a fun little joke. This is the difference between my community living or dying.”

“I get that. But if I say I’m not going to tell anyone, then how is your community at risk?”

“You can’t promise me that.”

“Draco.” Her tone was strong enough to make him snap his head up and meet her eyes. “You saved my life. I’ve lived with you for almost 3 months. Trust me when I say I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Swear on my life.”

The silence was tangible between the two as he stood there staring.

“You have to trust me,” said Y/N. “Please.”

Draco met her eyes again, a type of helplessness written so deeply into the etches of his face that he nearly looked like a different person than the proud, posh British boy that was usually him. “Okay.”

“Okay.” She let out a sigh of relief as he put the cube back into the drawer. 

“Don’t get too comfortable, though,” he told her. “Once I figure out how to fix this, I won’t need to trust you anymore.”

“You’ve been trusting me with your life since the moment you got into a car with me for the first time. Do you have any idea how many teenagers crash on the freeway? I don’t get why this is so different.”

He scowled. “I think it’s very obviously different.”

“I can pull up the stats for you real quick if you want. Just so you can grasp the severity of the situation that you’re minimizing right now.”

“Damn it, Y/N, you don’t understand!” Draco slammed his hands on the dresser, the wood making a loud smack sound as it connected with his palms. She jumped. “All my life I’ve been...You just don’t understand.”

“You have no other option, Draco,” said Y/N. 

“I...I know.”

~

The next few weeks were profoundly uncomfortable. If it wasn’t just for the fact that there had been a burglar turned home invader turned...whatever on the loose, Y/N was now dealing with the fact that her world as she knew it was turning upside down.

Draco was magic. He was different, and while this at first had been difficult for Y/N to believe, she began to realize just how much sense it made. The way the most ordinary of daily objects confused him...his discomfort with using the internet...his distaste for all of the people he met…either he was raised under a legitimate rock or he was telling the truth....

And perhaps the most conclusive revelation regarded his stance on his feelings towards her. After that night at Sylvia’s, Y/N had begun to think that there might be something there, or at least that something there might’ve been possible.

Now she knew that it wasn’t. And she had to be okay with that.

Draco was for the most part normal apart from the fact that his wariness around her was obvious. She could feel him keeping a close eye on her in the halls when she spoke with her friends. Sometimes he’d even level a look in her direction, a clear demand written all over his face: Not a word. You promised.

Evening teas stopped entirely. Draco ate in his room for breakfast and seldom said anything on the rides to and from school, and, to be entirely honest, it helped. She could feel her hopeless crush become weaker as the month of November wore on. Her giddy excitement towards a possible love interest was directed to the nervous dwellings on her UChicago application. 

Results were out on December 3rd, and she was absolutely buzzing. Fuck weird blond boys that came into her life and told her of an entire mystical and magical world out there--the gothic, hallowed architecture of UChicago was waiting for her. 

“Honey, it’s almost 5!” 

“I know.”

Y/N sat, cross legged on her bed, as she looked at the email she’d received moments ago from UChicago. In 3 minutes, the portal would open up. And her fate would be decided.

“Don’t open it yet, your father and I are coming!” Mrs. Y/L/N yelled from the kitchen. 

She smiled--for once, her father had managed to take a night off of work to be there for her. The only person missing in their home was Draco, and she supposed that he didn’t count anymore. At least not in the classic way. 

5:00pm.

“Hold on, hold on.” Her father’s voice carried down the hall, paired with the sound of feet thumping up the stairs.

Her parents appeared in the doorway, rushing to her and peeking over her shoulder.

“Are you ready to open it?” Mrs. Y/L/N asked, placing her hand on Y/N’s shoulder. 

“Uh...yes.” Her stomach flipped as she pressed her mouse over the blue hyperlink, directing the screen to show a login page. She wasn’t quite sure what it would look like--perhaps her decision would be right there when she logged in--but despite her racing thoughts, she input her portal information, pressed enter, and squeezed her eyes shut.

Dead silence.

“Honey.”

Her mother’s voice was strife with...some kind of emotion, whatever it was. Y/N dared to pry her eyelids open just a pinch, giving her just enough vision to read out the clear “CONGRATULATIONS” spanning the entirety of her page.

“Oh my god. Oh my god!”

The euphoria that followed was indescribable. Her father’s arms, encircling her shoulders in a way he hadn’t done since she was a child, her mother’s professions of how proud she was...incredible.

The only thing sullying it was a Draco shaped figure looming in the doorway once the hysteria died down.

“What happened?”

“I got into UChicago!” she exclaimed, her voice brimming with enthusiasm. 

He simply stared at her, his gaze cool and uninterested. Y/N felt all the joy drain from her face. “I hate to butt in, but I have some news too. I’ll be traveling back home for the holidays.”

“Oh.” Irritation was written clear as day across Mrs. Y/L/N’s face. “When will you be leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

final a/n: heyyyyyy everyone let me know what you thought. what do you guys think will happen next chapter? how do you think this is going to end overall? ik this is a draco x reader but do you guys think that draco still has a ways to go before he can have feelings for y/n? or does he already have them? im inch rested please lmk your thoughts

also my endless apologies to ohioans i did not mean to add the slander in there ik that plenty of you are lovely people <3 cancel me if you wish 

[starrynite7114]

everything is you: three

A/N: Good morning everyone! First of all, I would like to thank you all for the reception I’ve received on this story. I’m honestly honored and touched by how much you all love this little family. Cruz, Angel and Alena are just so adorable and I hope you all continue to enjoy the family. I also updated the everything is you page, so you can have visuals on Cruz and Alena.

Again, I say it all the time, I’m always down to answer questions about this story or any other story! 

Enjoy the update! Snapshots is next, jealous Angel and Daddy Angel should be posted soon, just trying to make my way through them!

Requests are open if you lovely peeps would like to make a request! 

Love you all! <3

everything is you

one : two

Word count: 6633

Masterlist

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If you would like to be added on the tag list, please let me know! <3

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Alena’s head bobbed, causing her to wake up. She blinked her eyes a few times, checking her phone to see Angel texted her once again. She quickly replied to him and looked back down at the enormous amount of folders around her. Why didn’t this person digitize their files? Now she had to go over each and every one of them.

“The more you think about how many files we have to look through the more frustrated you’ll be.” She heard Victor tease her.

Victor Costa was her next door neighbor and Cruz’s occasional babysitter. He was a good guy and Alena got on well with him. They first met on Alena’s first day at the job seven years ago and he had taken her around. He was always sweet to her and Alena truly cherished their friendship.

“I know, sorry.” Alena sighed. “It’s a Friday night, don’t you have plans?” Victor didn’t need to stay with her, but all her other co-workers left as soon as Mr. Johnson left the office. 

“Honestly sweetheart, no place I rather be.” Victor grinned.

“I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic?” 

“I’m not, our co-workers are awful people who always leave you their work. Stand up for yourself Alena, no one will hate you if you do.” Victor stayed with Alena often since their co-workers were lazy pricks who knew Alena didn’t mind doing the work since it took away from her headache on Monday mornings. “You need to go out and enjoy yourself.”

“Me? You need to go out and enjoy yourself too. Didn’t you say you had a date?” Alena opened another folder, browsing through the paperwork for any discrepancies.

“Maybe, are you jealous?” Victor didn’t have a date, but he did tell one of their co-workers that shows kept asking him out on a date.

“Absolutely.” Alena took notes on a few documents, closing the folder and picking up another. 

“You don’t want to go on a date?” Victor knew of Alena’s situation. He’s been her neighbor for years and out of nowhere she was married with a kid. He didn’t push her and Alena eventually told him everything when she became frustrated of Angel’s coldness. Angel could be cold towards her at times and when he did, Victor would be her confidant. Someone outside of their inner circle who had no biases and helped her. Well, he may have been biased towards her, but he couldn’t help it.

“I’m married.”

“Come on Alena, you tell me all the time it’s a matter of convenience. It wouldn’t exactly be cheating if you go out on a date or two.” Maybe he was selfish, he knew that, but he’s had a crush on Alena for years, but he never made a move due to the fear of rejection and he just knew that Angel had Alena wrapped around his fingers and he truly disliked him for that. How could he walk all over such a sweet, kind and beautiful young woman who has given more than enough for him?

“Yes, but I would feel terrible. I know I don’t owe Angel anything, but that doesn’t mean I would disrespect the sanctity of marriage in such a way.” Alena tried to keep her focus on the folders wanting to get through this, Angel was waiting for her and she hated it when she kept them waiting or anyone really.

“Your father.”

“I just, Cruz is my main priority. This whole thing is confusing as it is, I don’t want to add someone else into the mix. Once Angel and I get divorced then it won’t be a problem.” Alena anticipated it to occur next year, which shouldn’t be a problem. If everything worked out, she could transfer to another firm in New York, something Mr. Johnson has offered her numerous times. But at the same time she couldn’t part from Cruz, he was her mother. Maybe she wouldn’t give Angel full custody. They could share. She was Cruz’s parent as much as him. Blood wasn’t what tied people together. “I sound like an idiot don’t I?” 

She’s heard it all before. 

That she was an idiot for everything she’s done. That no amount of debt to Angel should have had her doing this for him. But Angel was her friend before this whole ordeal. He saved her from being sexually assaulted. He was there for her when his father left and they became homeless for a period of time. 

There were just good people in this world, why couldn’t people just take that for face value and not have a reason for helping a friend out?

“You’re not an idiot. You’re a kind person Alena, no one should ever fault you because you are genuine. I think it’s admirable what you’re doing for Angel.” Though Victor wished Angel didn’t lock her in a marriage, then maybe he would have a chance on Alena.

“Thank you,” she shyly smiled. Victor was a good looking man and she always wondered how he was still single. “Enough about me, why are you still single?”

“I’m married to my job, remember?” Victor was married to his job, well not at the law firm, but as an arts dealer. He produced art galleries all over the countries for top notch artists. It was his first love.

“You were married before weren’t you?”

“Puppy love,” he shook his head. “It was a mistake that I greatly learned from.”

“Did she break your heart?”

“Oh, absolutely not, I ran away from her.” Victor chuckled. “I just haven’t found the right person I guess.”

“You’ll find someone, plenty of women in this office are vying for a shot with you.”

“Are you included in that?”

“No, you’re around me enough, I think I’m fine.” Alena giggled. “You’re a good guy, but you know I’m married.”

“So if you weren’t married, you’d give me a shot?” He was pushing it, he knew that but he couldn’t help it.

“Me? You have all these women vying for you, I would not like to fight women for your attention.” Alena shook her head. “I get into enough conflicts due to Angel, I’m honestly good.”

“Women fought you because of Angel?” 

“Yes, all the time.” Alena rolled her eyes. “All those women in Santo Padre befriended me because of Angel, then once Angel rejected them or something to that effect, it was a free for all.” Alena laughed. It was always amusing for her. They would just fling words towards her, never actually getting physical. Alright, maybe once she was involved in a physics altercation, but she would take that to the grave.

“Didn’t know your husband was such a hot commodity.”

“Oh, he is, I’m a lucky one.” 

“Maybe I should go on a date.” Victor has had a crush on Alena for the past four years. It was time for him to take the plunge. 

“You should! Ask the girl you’ve been telling me about.” Alena excitedly encouraged him.

Victor grinned, happy with how excited she was. He didn���t care if she was married, they weren’t actually together. 

He was going to ask her out and there was nothing Angel could do about it. 

=============

Angel lounged around Alena’s apartment, waiting for her to come home. It’s been an eventful two weeks with the cartel and the rebels taking up a majority of his time. Creeper was out after a wound sustained during an attack so now, everyone was on edge. To top it off, Adelita just kidnapped Cristobal, which made everything that much more stressful. He was thankful for a break. 

It was Friday night and to avoid the debacle that occurred two weeks ago, he decided to pick up Alena.

It was ten at night and she was still not home. 

She texted him two hours ago that she was finishing things up at the office and would be back soon. It made him antsy, but he saw that in her location on his phone, she was at the office. Cruz was sleeping on the couch as Angel watched television. They might as well stay here for the night since there was no point of going back to Santo Padre when Cruz was resting comfortably. 

He heard the lock turn along with the doorknob. Alena walked in, leaning on the door before taking a deep breath. She locked the door and placed her bag on the bench by the door. Making her way to the kitchen, she got a bottle of water before making her way to the couch. She knew Angel was there, she heard the television. 

Without so much of a word, she placed her bottle on the table. She straddled Angel, sitting on his lap before wrapping her arms around him and resting her head at the crook of his neck. Letting out a sigh, she felt her body relax. She shouldn’t count on Angel for this, but she would indulge herself this time due to her long day at work.

“You okay cielo?” Angel ran his fingers up and down her back. He loved holding Alena. She always fit so well in his arms.

“I’m tired. We had to finish research for a case tonight and my eyes feel like they’re going to fall off.” Alena snuggled her face on Angel’s neck, making him chuckle. She liked the feel of his beard. “Are sugar daddies an option?”

Angel laughed once again. He pulled her hair softly so she could move her head back. He kissed her, resting his forehead against her and smirked. “Absolutely not.”

Alena wanted to argue with Angel then. The kisses and sex were nice, but she really didn’t want to keep stomping on that line. She buried her face at the crook of his neck once more closing her eyes. She wanted the headache to go away along with the eye dryness. Her eyes opened thinking of Cruz, but she watched him as he slept comfortably on the couch.

“Should we get going?” Alena questioned. 

“Ssh mi cielo, go to sleep.” Angel told her, his fingers still soothingly moving up and down her back. Not long, Alena was asleep in his arms. Angel felt more relaxed with Alena in his arms. He closed his eyes then, letting sleep take over his exhausted body.

The following morning, Cruz was the first to wake up. He looked up and saw his father holding his mother as they slept. He went to the bathroom, flushing and washing his hand once he was done. Making his way back out, he took his father’s phone and took a picture. He giggled. He always took pictures of his parents. Angel was holding Alena, both arms around her, head resting on hers, while Alena was still on his lap, head resting on his shoulder.

Cruz crawled over to his parents, forcing his way under Angel’s arms so his mommy could hold him. Angel groaned, wrapping his arms around Alena again, not letting Cruz in.

“Daddy,” Cruz shook Angel. This was unacceptable. It was his time to cuddle with mommy.

Angel stirred, slowly opening his eyes. He blinked a few times before letting out a yawn. “What is it Cruz?”

“You can’t hog mommy all to yourself.” Cruz crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

Angel chuckled. “Why not? Daddy loves mommy.” He tightened his hold on Alena, causing her to wake up.

“I love mommy more!” Cruz declared. 

“Mommy loves you both.” Alena let out a small laugh as she moved, the ache of her sleeping position immediately seeping in. 

“Mommy!” Cruz moved Angel’s arm and crawled in between them. He wrapped his arms around Alena’s neck, causing her to lean back. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too baby.” Alena kissed the side of his head. “Good morning.” She greeted Angel as he watched her. His hands were on her thighs and she felt his morning wood against her. He smirked at her as she shot him a look, telling him to behave. “Should we head out soon?”

“No, let’s just stay here.” Angel needed a break from the cartel. A break from Santo Padre. What better way than to stay in San Diego and be with his two favorite people. He had texted Bishop last night and requested if he could have a few days off to spend some time with Alena and Bishop graciously granted him some time off. 

“What? They don’t need you?” Angel never took time off, it was rare. He was devoted to the club, which Alena didn’t mind, she understood his loyalty. 

“I honestly don’t care right now. I just want some time with my family.” Angel shrugged. “I’m just tired is all.” 

“Okay, whatever you want to do. We can stay in if you want.” Alena offered. She loved lowkey weekends. Just to be able to lounge around the house with her boys, she cherished it because there was that thought at the back of her mind that it wouldn’t always be like this. One day, Angel won’t need her and she would just be another distant face for Cruz. She hated thinking that way and she was always able to reason that Cruz was legally her son, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up, it would help with the disappointment and heartache. 

“We gotta get some groceries though, I don’t know if you’re aware, but you literally have no edible food here.” Angel teased her. He knew Alena lived off take out since she was usually too exhausted to cook when she got home. 

“Haha, very funny. Maybe we can grill some meat for dinner. We can get some meat at the store, just stay in.” 

“That sounds fucking delicious baby.” Alena hit Angel making Cruz giggle. 

“Daddy said a bad word.” Cruz let out an ‘oooh’.

“Daddy is allowed to say bad words, but who can’t say bad words?”

“Mommy?” He tilted his head. 

“Cruz can’t.” Alena playfully narrowed her eyes at him. She looked at her watch and it was only seven in the morning. “Can we sleep more?”

“I’m onboard with that.” Angel nodded his head.

“But it’s morning now.” Cruz argued. 

“Mommy is tired, does Cruz want to cuddle with mommy?” Angel knew his son was a sucker for his mother. If mommy wanted to sleep, Cruz was sleeping with mommy.

Cruz climbed off Alena’s lap and took her hand. “Cuddle time!”

Angel chuckled as Alena gave him a look before kissing his cheek. He felt his cheeks heat up at such a simple gesture and he just shook his head. He watched as Alena and Cruz made their way to her bedroom. It was insane for him how attached Cruz was to Alena. He was almost certain Cruz liked Alena more than he liked him, and he couldn’t blame him. Alena had them wrapped around her fingers and she didn’t even know it. 

“Angel, are you coming?”

“Yeah babe, I’m coming.”

=============

Angel placed the last of their bags on the table, Cruz was eating the chocolate dipped sticks happily on the couch, PJ Masks was currently playing. Alena was in the room, changing into some shorts and a shirt. Angel just wore basketball shorts and a white tee the whole day, so he was good. 

As he was putting away the groceries, there was a knock on the door. But it wasn’t a regular knock. It was a special type of knock. Whatever it was, it made Cruz jump off the couch.

“I got it!” He shouted.

Angel looked at Cruz like he was insane. He knew he wasn’t supposed to open doors without him or Alena. He followed after his son. 

"Hi Mr. Vic, mommy is changing." Angel looked down at his son like he was insane. Cruz knew he wasn't supposed to open the door. Might be an old man since he called him Mr. Vic. It was the same man that Alena spoke about a few weeks ago. He thought it was sweet that Alena was helping out the senior citizens. Though, Alena helped fucking everyone, which slightly irritated him every now and then. She could be fucking hurt or something. What if that person was fooling her and hurt her?

"Little man, I told you to call me Victor, or Uncle Victor. Mr. Vic makes me feel old." When Angel came to the door, he almost slammed it shut. It was Valeria's ex-husband, Victor Costa. Victor looked up at him, obviously sizing him up. He nodded his head. “You the husband?”

“You the sitter?” He wondered if Victor knew that Cruz was Valeria’s kid. There was no fucking way this was a coincidence. But at the same time, he knew Victor moved to San Diego to get the fuck away from Valeria and bless him, he couldn’t blame the man. This world was too fucking small. 

He couldn’t believe this bullshit. Of all the fucking people to be Alena’s neighbor, it was this guy?

Alena walked out the room and saw that Angel and Cruz were at the door. She walked over and a smile spread across her lips. 

“Victor! Hey!” She greeted him enthusiastically. She moved in front of Angel and was going to hug Victor when Angel pulled her back by her shirt, pulling her against him. “Hey, what are you doing?” She murmured at Angel.

“The fuck are you doing?” Angel couldn’t believe Alena was going to hug this man in front of her. This man even fucking knew they were married. 

“I’m just gonna say hi.” She tried to take her shirt back but Angel had a grip on it. 

“Uncle Victor, do you want to eat? Mommy is making us food.” Cruz invited him. Angel looked down at his son as if he grew two heads. How was he going to invite this man into their home? Sure he took care of Cruz, but that didn’t mean he invited him in without asking for permission.

“Maybe next time little man, I actually wanted to talk to mommy, is that okay?” 

Cruz looked at Angel who shook his head no, he turned to Victor and nodded his head. “That’s okay.” 

Angel rolled his eyes, letting go of Alena’s shirt. Alena moved to hug Victor then and Angel had to admit, he didn’t like the scene before him. Seeing Alena hugged by his brothers were different, they knew how everything stood, but this man obviously didn’t give a flying a fuck they were married. Maybe that’s why he and Valeria didn’t work out. Though Angel was certain Valeria was more to blame with her psychotic ass. The only good thing that came out of his relationship with Valeria was Cruz. Other than that, the bitch could go fuck herself.

“Keep the door open, you know your door automatically locks.” Angel advised her before he took Cruz back to the couch. At least it appeared so. He was right behind the door listening in. 

“What’s up?” Alena asked, slightly coming outside, but holding the door slightly ajar so she can go back in.

“Remember our conversation last night?” Victor questioned.

“We had lots to keep us going and I was also half asleep, you want to remind me which one?” She tilted her head, trying to remember which conversation he was referring too.

Angel paused. Wait, they worked together and lived in the same building? Was this guy stalking his wife? Why was she so chummy with him? The fuck was that? He didn’t like this guy one bit.

“Mommy said it’s not good for us to,” Cruz paused not remembering the right word. “To be a chismoso.”

Angel was amused by his son’s choice of words. Alena spoke Spanish to his son and from time to time Korean. “Well why’d you let mommy talk to that man?” He whispered hoping Alena wouldn’t hear them.

“That’s mommy’s best friend.” He mimicked Angel’s tone, speaking lowly.

“I’m mommy’s best friend.” Angel informed his son. And he was Alena’s best friend. With everything they’ve been through with Cruz and even before that, Alena was the closest person to him that wasn’t blood related. Hell, she was closer to him than his own blood. She knew his deepest and darkest secrets and she never batted an eye. She still treated him the same, touched him the same regardless of how shitty he was.

He didn’t deserve her.

But he wasn’t going to let her go either. 

Fuck it if that meant he was selfish. 

“No silly, you’re mommy’s husband.” Cruz giggled.

Alena looked at them and they both smiled at her.

“Are you done?”

“No.” She went back outside. “Sorry, so which conversation again?”

“About putting myself out there.”

“Oh yes, did you ask out Courtney?”

Victor chuckled. “Why do you presume I like Courtney?”

“Cause you do? I see you looking at her.” She teased him.

“I’m looking at you Alena. You and Courtney are in the same vicinity, but I’m looking at you.” Victor looked at Alena nervously, she gave him an odd look as if he didn’t understand what he was trying to insinuate. “I like you Alena.”

“Me?”

Alena and Victor both heard a what? And a daddy let's go on the couch.

“So, would you like to go on a date?”

“Who?”

Victor chuckled. “You Alena, who else am I talking to?”

“Oh.” Alena was surprised. Victor never expressed any interest in her and he knew the situation. “I’m married.”

“Isn’t it out of convenience? Come on, one date. Doesn’t even have to be a date, just two friends hanging out.” Victor offered. He’d take whatever he could get from Alena

Angel looked at Cruz and put him down. Who did this motherfucker think he was? He saw Angel, he knew they were married and he had the audacity to say it was out of convenience. And it was but why the fuck would Alena tell him? Was she interested in him? 

“Sure, but just as friends.” Alena’s reply halted Angel’s movement, she said yes? Oh, this girl was in trouble. 

“Yes, just as friends.”

“Ooh, what’s going on here?” Angel heard Carla, EZ��s girlfriend questioned. 

“Where’s Angel?” He heard EZ question.

“You have company. I’ll leave you to it. Next Friday at 6?” 

“Sure, I’ll see you at work.” Alena nodded her head. 

“Who is that?” Carla questioned watching Victor walk down the hallway.

“That’s my neighbor Victor, the one that takes care of Cruz.” Victor worked with Alena, but unlike her he didn’t need to be at the office everyday. So whenever Alena needed a sitter, Victor graciously offered a helping hand.

“You mean the one with the crush on you?”

“Excuse me, what now?” Angel appeared out of thin air surprising both women.

EZ chuckled. ‘Oh this was going to be a fun night.’

=============

Carla and Alena sat outside at the balcony, overlooking the ocean. Alena was able to land the apartment thanks to her boss, who apparently owned the building. Carla had to say that Alena had one of the best views and she was certain it was due to her boss favoring her. Nothing malicious, but ever since Alena started working for Mr. Johnson seven years ago, the hotshot lawyer took care of Alena. She reminded him of the daughter he lost a few years prior to Alena’s arrival. And much like Angel, he knew that his other employees took advantage of Alena’s kindness, but Alena didn’t want to get anyone in trouble.

Carla and Alena have known one another for nearly fifteen years. It still amazed Carla just how kind and selfless Alena was. If she was being honest, it was irritating at times because people walked all over her and Alena just brushed it off. She didn’t seem bothered by people using her, she just genuinely wanted to help people. She always reasoned with Carla that she was collecting good karma points. But Carla figured it had something to do with Alena not liking conflict. She was a helper, it was embedded in her, but sometimes, it was too much. A prime example was marrying Angel and being a mother to his son. She admired her best friend’s actions, Cruz was an adorable kid, but Angel was also taking advantage of the situation. 

Angel was using their marriage as a way to keep Alena to him since he wasn’t ready to recognize his feelings for her. Whenever she would try to set up Alena on dates at the beginning of this whole ordeal, Angel always found a way to block her attempts. At first, it was because he was “clueless” about Cruz, which Carla had to roll her eyes at. Then he would become so sweet to her, Alena would become confused and decline to go on any dates. She’s fought Angel numerous times because of Alena, but it was hard to rattle Angel since he knew Alena was devoted to Cruz and in turn to him.

“So, Victor huh?” Carla raised her wine glass at her. “Not a bad choice, he’s cute, has a good job and he gets on well with Cruz.” She nodded her head in approval. “I’m glad you’re putting yourself out there.”

“What? I’m not dating Victor. I mean, we’re going to dinner, but as friends.” Alena held her wine glass, looking down at it as she swirled the red liquid inside. “He’s just being nice.”

“He asked you out on a date in the guise of being nice?” Carla cackled, shaking her head. “Alena, just because Angel’s head is far up his ass, it doesn’t mean no other man can find you attractive. If you only knew how many people Angel drove away, you would be impressed.”

“What?” 

“Come on Alena, you can’t possibly think that no man on this earth finds you attractive. There are plenty of men who are lining up to date you, but it's hard when your guard dog looks like Angel.” Carla shook her head. “You can’t keep doing this, remember we talked about this. You can just keep this up for so long. You gave your twenties to Angel and Cruz. It’s time for you to put yourself out there.”

“You waited for EZ.”

“Yes, well, EZ isn’t Angel. He’s more in one with his feelings that his older brother.” Carla looked back and found Angel and EZ on the cough with Cruz in between them. They were laughing, Cruz making faces at his father and uncle. She liked their small family, she truly did, but as a best friend and fierce protector of Alena, she couldn’t standby and keep watching this shit show. 

If Angel would just realize how much he loves Alena, then sure, Carla could support it, but if Angel was going to keep them at this limbo, he could go fuck himself. 

“Are you waiting for Angel?” Carla has asked Alena this question multiple times in the past and her answer truly depended where they were at in their relationship. 

Alena wasn’t sure. 

Was she? 

She was coming to terms that nothing was ever going to happen between her and Angel, that she was going to hand him the divorce paper and give him full custody of Cruz. It was the right thing to do, but she would like to visit Cruz if he would allow her. Carla was right, they couldn’t be in this limbo anymore. Cruz was growing so quickly and the last thing he needed was to continue to be fooled by their charade. She doesn’t doubt Angel cared for her, they knew one another way before Cruz came, but she couldn’t just count on that. She wanted a real marriage, kids of her own. She wanted something stable, but until she divorced Angel, she couldn’t do that. She wasn’t a cheater, she wasn’t her father. 

“No, I’m not.” Alena gave her a small smile, trying to keep herself together so she didn’t cry. She didn’t want to cry. “I know I can’t be in this situation forever and it’ll be over soon. Once we pass the five years, we can get divorced. It’s just going to be hard letting go of Cruz.”

“You don’t have to let go of Cruz, I don’t think the little guy would let you.” Carla downed the rest of her wine, placing the glass on the table in between them. “I just want you to experience life Alena.”

“I am,” Alena confidently assured her. “It may not seem like it, but I am. I love our family and I wouldn’t trade it in for the world. I don’t need to date people to experience life. Being with Cruz and Angel taught me plenty, for example, no ice cream for a toddler after nine in the evening unless you want to stay up all night.”

The two women laughed. 

Carla could tell Alena was trying to mask everything. Letting go of father and son was going to be difficult for her, but she needed to put herself first. She had to put herself first this time around and Carla was certain that Angel would understand. 

No, no he wouldn’t, but this may be the wake-up call Angel needed. 

Alena wasn’t going to wait forever and it seemed that someone has finally gotten past Angel’s intimidating figure and it definitely won’t bode well for Angel.

=============

They all sat around the table, with Cruz sitting in between Angel and Alena. EZ and Carla sat across from them. Angel was grilling the meat on the portable grill they had, various side dishes all around. It was like a Korean barbecue experience without the bustling noise of the restaurant. Cruz had his training chopsticks with the cute anime characters that he loved to watch on television so much. 

"Tell us more about Victor." Carla looked at EZ with a mischievous glint. He shook his head, holding back a chuckle.

“Yeah, why don’t you?” Angel always had the impression that Victor was an old ass fucking man. To know he was around their age, it changed everything. 

Alena looked at Carla like she was insane. She didn’t want to talk about Victor. Angel was obnoxiously protective over her and the last thing she wanted to tell Angel that she actually found Victor attractive. It wasn’t hard, if he would hear how she gushed about him, he would be able to tell.

“He’s a co-worker of mine. He lives a few doors down.” Minimal information was what she was going to do. It made things easier that way. “He took care of Cruz a few times when I got called into work unexpectedly.”

“How long have you known him?” EZ questioned, his brother wasn’t even paying attention to the meat on the grill. 

“Seven years.”

“Seven years?!” Angel was surprised. He literally has never heard of Victor till maybe three years ago. Otherwise, Alena has never uttered his name. He just felt like Alena lived another life in San Diego. 

Everyone looked at Angel due to his outburst. Cruz looked at his father curiously.

“Are you mad daddy?”

Angel looked down at Cruz and shook his head. “No, I’m not mad, daddy is just surprised cause mommy has never talked about Mr. Vic till a few years ago.”

“Mr. Vic is so nice, he bought mommy crayons the other week when we went to the museums.” Cruz proudly shared. “Mommy said we can share when we all paint together.”

It was a favorite family bonding time they had. Sometimes on a Saturday afternoon Angel, Alena and Cruz all painted together, did they get pieces done? No, but just spending that time together was really fun.

“Crayons huh?” Angel nodded his head, turning his attention back to the meat.

EZ watched as the annoyance on his brother’s face became more obvious. Carla watched on with glee, the possibility of Alena having a suitor obviously annoyed Angel.

“Wow Angel, have you ever gotten Alena any crayons?” EZ had to pull his older brother’s leg every once in a while, he wouldn’t be a younger brother if he didn’t. 

“Shut up.” Angel put more meat on the grill.

Who the fuck was this guy? Crayons? Angel scoffed in his head at the silliness. He could get Alena one thousand fucking crayons. How the fuck has he not been told about this guy?

“Do you know Victor?” Angel asked Alena’s partner in crime, Carla.

“I’ve heard of him, never met him till today, but Alena, I told you, you’re the girl he was talking about.” Carla was just sprinkling gasoline on the fire.

“I am not, it still could be anyone.” Alena brushed her off.

“What does she mean?” Angel inquired. 

“Victor has been talking to me about this girl he’s interested in, but she’s unavailable.” Alena explained. 

“If he knows she’s unavailable, why keep pursuing her?” The nerve of this man. Fucking ridiculous.

“Well, if the relationship isn’t real, then why worry? Doesn’t count as cheating.” Carla reasoned.

“I’m not hungry.” Angel handed the tongs to EZ, standing up and stalking off to the bedroom.

Alena watched as Angel closed her bedroom door, frowning at his sudden outburst.

“Babe, that wasn’t nice.” EZ shook his head at his girlfriend.

“What? Did I say something?” Carla knew how to get under Angel’s skin, she was just giving him an extra push was all.

“Where daddy go?” Cruz shoved meat and rice in his mouth, looking around for Angel.

“Daddy wasn’t hungry, it’s okay baby, daddy will come back out.”

Angel couldn’t fucking believe Carla. How could she encourage this atrocity? They didn’t know this guy and to top it off, he was Valeria’s ex. Even though Valeria was psychotic as fuck, there must have been something wrong with this asshole since he married her. 

This just didn’t sit well with Angel. He sat down on the bed before plopping down on his back. He didn’t think Alena lied to him nor was he angry with her, he just wanted to know how this guy fucking bypassed him. It’s not like he was always in San Diego with Alena, but she talked to him every day about her day. There was not a day that they didn’t talk, mostly due to Cruz. But this was fucking insane. 

“Calm down Angel, don’t be an idiot. Just stay in the room, cool down.” He was talking to himself now. “Fucking great, I’m talking to my self. This is so stupid.” 

The rest of the night went without a hitch. Alena brought Cruz to the room and found Angel smoking at her balcony. He didn’t acknowledge her presence, but she told him Cruz was on the bed. She put pillows on either side of him, just in case since Cruz moved around often when he was sleeping.

She was at the dining table, reviewing a few files she took home when she heard the door open. Looking up, she knew it would be Angel. He didn’t eat anything so she was almost certain he was hungry.

“I’m starving, are there any leftovers?” Alena pointed at the refrigerator. 

Angel took out some Tupperware and heated up the food. He combined the rice and meat on the same Tupperware, going over to the dining table. He tapped Alena’s arm, helping her up. He sat on her seat and pulled her onto his lap. Looking at the papers, he moved a few around and watched as Alena took a few notes down.

“You feeling better?” She looked back at him.

He shoved a spoonful of food in his mouth and nodded his head. “Yeah cielo I’m good.” Angel answered once the food was down his throat. “Are you good?”

“I’m fine, I’m just worried about you. Don’t lie to me, what’s wrong?” She placed her pen down, slightly turning so she could see Angel.

“Why haven’t you told me about Victor before?” Angel was being unreasonable, but this guy has been a part of her life for seven years. Though he reasoned he may not be important since she never mentioned him.

“I don’t know, I just,” Alena sighed. “He’s my friend Angel, I didn’t know I had to tell you about my friends.”

“If he’s around our son you do.” Good reason Angel, he applauded himself, using Cruz when in reality, he knew Alena would never bring anyone around Cruz that would harm him.

“Angel, you’ve never cared about Victor before, I’ve mentioned him to you numerous times, and you never reacted, why care now?” 

“Well he’s never asked you out before, has he?” Angel fucking hated hearing Victor ask her out, especially when he knew you were married. 

Angel couldn’t get over that.

“No, come on Angel, it’s just a friendly dinner. I would never disrespect our marriage like that no matter how fake it is.” Alena turned back to her work. She hated talking to Angel about their marriage because it was a constant reminder that she had what she wanted but not exactly.

“Our marriage isn’t fake Alena.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it Angel.” Alena closed her eyes, trying to build her courage for her own sake. She turned to face him and he was shoving another spoonful in his mouth. “I know it’s not much to ask and you do it out of needs and such, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t kiss me unless Cruz is around or we have sex at all.”

Angel almost choked on his food. Did she just say what he thought she just said?

“What?”

Alena didn’t reply and just continued to do her work.

“Hey, you can’t just ignore me after you say that.” Angel pulled her back against him, his warm breath against her neck. “You don’t like kissing me cielo?” He whispered against her ear.

Alena tried to sit up but Angel kept her on his lap. “Angel, please.”

“You found another motherfucker and now you don’t want me to touch you?” Angel was upset again. This guy expressed interest in her, Valeria’s ex-husband, and he didn’t matter now? Fuck that. “You’re my wife Alena, nothing is going to change that. You know you love it when I touch you.” His hand ran up and down her inner thigh. 

“Angel, we’re not actually married.” Alena shivered feeling Angel’s hand inch closer to the bottom of her shorts. 

“Are we not? We got married in city hall, baby. You’re a Reyes.” Angel was a bastard, he knew that. But he couldn’t let this motherfucker disrespect him like that. “We got your driver’s license changed and everything. You’re Alena Marie Reyes, and it’s going to stay that way. What about Cruz?” 

Angel’s fingers made its way under her shorts, Alena placing her hand on his hand before he could go any further. “You’re overreacting. Victor is just my friend.”

“Better stay that way baby, you don’t want me to get involved.” Angel turned Alena’s face towards him and he gave her a quick kiss, pulling away and biting his lips. “You know you love kissing me.”

Alena couldn’t even speak. She just blushed and nodded her head. Angel smirked and continued eating.

He couldn’t ignore the nervousness in his stomach when Victor asked her out and how she entertained that idea. Then when she asked him that they shouldn’t be intimate anymore? That shit made his stomach drop. No matter how confident he appeared he was always frightened that Alena may meet someone.

He’s always been number one with Alena. He was always second best to EZ, but for her, he was always number one. He could hardly do wrong with her. This man was threatening that position and he couldn’t have that. 

He couldn’t let Alena go.

[tracynotabi]

Riptide Day 2 / Undertow

September 11, 2021

D-Day.

Kevin, Ivan, Joey, and I were getting a ride from Spencer, who was also taking Narq to the venue, while Robert and Parker got a ride from someone else. Well, at least we didn’t have to walk to the venue. I didn’t pack sunscreen.

At 9am, about half an hour we were supposed to leave, Kevin gets a stomachache.

Me: He just needs to poop. Spencer: The classic.

We end up going to the lobby to wait for Spencer in Narq, which was fine considering we actually didn’t want Spencer, our ride, waiting for us.

Spencer: Okay, Narq’s just using the bathroom rq lol Me: Is he also having tummy problems Spencer: Nah just bein stoner and forgetting to do stuff lol Me: The classic

We go get Chick-fil-A and I’m sitting underneath the dashboard again by Kevin’s feet. I think the employees were very bewildered, as the woman on the other side of the window did a double take. I would, too, if I saw a smaller-than-average person just hiding underneath the dashboard sipping on a cup of Coke.

Some time after I get to the venue during doubles, I end up talking to Jimmy (j u m), when Kevin comes rushing over to me, a panicked look on his face.

Forgot to mention, but Kevin actually couldn’t get all of his poop out before coming to the venue and now it is back with a vengeance.

He tells me that he’s unable to go to any restroom because there were three stalls in the men’s restroom: two were occupied and one was clogged with poop.

He had tried flushing the poop one but it only made it worse. It just clogged more and the water level rose. If he had sat down and insisted on finishing, his balls would be touching the water and that’s a no-no.

He tried asking the front desk for other restrooms, but he was informed it was the only one. He was desperate and you could just see it in his eyes that he was about to break.

Me, using the big, wrinkly brain that I had, told him to use the women’s restroom. He froze, not even realizing that that was an option.

Now before anyone complains, hear me out.

I would rather be in a restroom with a male in the stall next to me, than exit the restroom and see someone standing outside the men’s restroom trying to wait for a stall with a shit stain in his pants. Excuse the vulgarity, but it’s true.

If you’re ever at one of my tournaments and you need to go and no male restroom is unoccupied, for the love of god, please fucking use the women’s restroom. I do not need this mess on my hands and you best believe I’m shoving myself in the men’s restroom if I gotta fucking go expel unicorns and rainbows.

I go to the restroom with Kevin and stand awkardly on my phone to keep watch, because he didn’t want any of the staff members actually seeing him and risk himself getting kicked out of the venue.

That would’ve been extremely unfortunate.

Luckily, nobody else needed to go use the restroom while Kevin was in there and he was able to safely compete his duty (lol).

If anyone is upset at my suggestion, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t about to not provide such a simple solution for Kevin’s emergency.

Anyway, the tournament start shortly after that.

First match I pay attention to is Kevin vs. Wombat. In my head, I think it’s pools so I shouldn’t worry too much. I try to watch Kevin’s sets, but it makes me physically ill sometimes because my anxiety is wracked up like crazy and I just want to throw up. Many have witnessed me walking away and trying to distract myself multiple times at multiple different tournaments.

It’s like that gory horror movie that you can’t keep looking away from.

Besides knowing that I get sick, I figured it would be fine since I actually enjoy trying to support my boyfriend and watch him come out of pools winners’ side. Not meaning any disrespect by Wombat, by the way. He’s great. Just realistic. It’s like how I expect Kevin to lose to Bob.

Kevin loses Game 1.

Ooh my tummy’s doing barrel rolls like the way Twisty did with that pullout bed. I look away but I’m just so distracted by the crowd noises.

I totally get it, though. Obviously, it’s sick that Wombat’s holding his own against Kevin, who is seed 3 of the tournament. I’d be excited, too, if my friend was making an upset on someone else. But Kevin’s my boyfriend, so obviously, I want him to win.

Kevin barely wins Game 2 and I’m like ooooh boy. My tummy’s going to town and I think I gag a little by how sick I feel. Gotta focus on getting Joey his next match. *deep breaths*

When heartswaptv airs the whole tournament, definitely check out the set. It was really good (as far as I can hear, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the rest of it).

Kevin comes over to me after he’s out of pools and I scold him for making me worried.

AND YOU NOW WHAT HE SAYS?

Kevin: Babe, it’s fine - I almost lost to Zeddy at Redacted City and I got 2nd. I’ll be fine. Me: T____T *incoherent whining noises*

Does Kevin thinks he’s fucking cute for saying that or something? I was not amused.

Since I didn’t have to volunteer TO the entirety of the tournament, I bounced around mingling with other people.

At one point, I get a message from Suvir in our group chat about how he, Sosa, and Narq were planning on coming to visit NorCal. Of course, since Narq was already here, I decided to just go up to him and ask.

Me: So I heard you’re coming to NorCal? Narq: I am? Me: That’s what Suvir said. *shows phone* Narq: I guess I’m going to NorCal!

Suvir: Narq doesn’t actually know. Sosa just said he’d take him with him and said Narq would agree to go because he’s Narq. Me: Oh that makes sense why he had no idea what I was talking about.

It wasn’t until around top bracket did things start to pick up. Not too many spoilers, because (1) no spoilers before they upload the vod and (2) I have a terrible memory when it comes to the matches.

I remember holding up Kevin’s phone to stream to our Discord because we had some non-PM player friends who wanted to see and I think Kevin wanted Thomas (ThundeRzReiGN) to give him some advice throughout the tournament. Not actually coach, but to critique his play.

As more and more top players fell, Kevin made it a goal to do his best not to fall into the landmine that was Losers’. So many heavy hitters were large threats to him: Techboy, Malachi, Akimi, Cloudburst...

Not to say that Winners’ side didn’t have their fair share of monsters: Peter, Parker, Kumatora, Twisty, Nogh, Lunchables...

Kevin’s first match in Top 32 was against Bongo, who people sleep on quite a lot. For those of you that don’t know him, he’s a Captain Falcon from NY who actually beat Kevin at Flex Zone 3 in 2018. Kevin had beaten him at Encore, but it wasn’t easy.

Not to mention Falcon is a pain the butt for Mario. Unfortunately, the match was not recorded (as far as I know), and it was a very exciting match from what I heard. I avoided watching it because based on how long it took, I knew it had to have been a Game 5. During that time, two matches have been finished on “stream.”

Kevin had said his match against Bongo was the toughest one he had - not to discredit his other opponents, of course - but according to him, it was the scariest and closest. Also the threat of being put into Losers so early would’ve made the climb to Top 8 a lot harder.

His overall goal was actually to make Top 8. Despite being a third seed and rank 5, what I’ve noticed about Kevin is that he does have doubts about himself quite often. He’s never complacent in his opponents and worries all the time about being upset and I don’t think anyone puts more pressure on him more than himself.

As I watched my friends progress through bracket, all I can think is there’s not much I can do. I don’t understand the game very much, despite my heavy involvement in the scene. In fact, more often than not, I believe I understand the game the least compared to everyone else.

A tangent from the actual tournament itself is coming, but I think I should address why I’m even in this community:

While everyone loves the game, I love the community behind it. I find it worth it to sit/stand in one location for hours at a time because it allows my friends to enjoy the game they love comfortably without worrying how the tournament is progressing. They can focus on their own growth and passion.

I think what I see is completely different. Like I said, I don’t really understand this game - I can’t differentiate uairs, bairs, d-smashes, etc. I compute it in my head, but can’t visualize it. I don’t recognize most combos - in fact, more often than not, I’m sitting there just staring at the screen kind of blankly. Sometimes, it does make me wonder if I really am part of this community because I don’t really understand the game.

I can’t say I particularly care too much about the game, but I understand how much of an impact it’s made on me and for that, I’m very thankful for this game because it’s led me to some great people.

Back to the actual event and less sap. lol. Is anybody still even reading?

For something put together in a mere two weeks, Trin and their team did an amazing job. Three recording set ups, graphics, a pot, a venue... props to them for gathering the scraps and making a whole out of it. And to think we almost didn’t go.

Madeline (Swanner) ended up coming and it was honestly so good to see her. We aren’t particularly close, but she’s someone I’ve come to care for and just want happiness for her.

Major spoiler, but I don’t think anybody who cares about PM/P+ doesn’t know Kevin won the tournament.

Everyone expected a pop-off, but Kevin just sat there, crying.

I don’t think there’s ever been anything that Kevin has been more passionate about. He loves this game; he loves this community. Never did it ever occur to him that he would win.

I wish I could say more, but honestly, him winning stunned me speechless. And if you didn’t know, the first thing he said after was that he had to call his mother.

His mom is one of his biggest supporters and I love her to death. She has such a huge heart and has never, ever frowned upon Kevin’s love for the game, whole-heartedly supporting it.

I hugged Maddy, because I can’t even imagine how heart-breaking it must be for her to see what could have been on the mainstage. I imagined how much it must’ve hurt her because she just loves the game and the community, but to see it constantly be torn down by Nintendo and her unable to do anything... Give Maddy a hug and thank her if you see her. She deserves the world.

We ended up walking home with PNW, Bob, Mar, Bongo, Cameron (LoyaL), Ivan, and a few others, honestly too dark to completely see and name. It was a very nice night.

We did, however, pass by the rundown house that definitely looked like if we were to talk in there, we’d be killed by the axe murderer that lived there.

Kevin also lagged behind a lot because his phone notifications were going off like crazy and I was worried he was going to just get lost in the darkness or get hit by a car. Stop looking at your phone when you cross the street, dammit.

We got back to our hotel room and ordered pizza - it was bad. God-fucking-dammit, Ohio, why do you suck so much? Kind of a shitty dinner to end the day on, but nothing else was open at 2am. FeelsBadMan.

[solarcitymelodies]

Wowza sorry y'all about the random massive Rockafire spam, I'm pretty sure ??most?? People on here? know me for just Knight Rider because that's the only thing I've ever REALLY posted about--

but I Do Not Care it's RAE hours right now so uhhh here's some headcannons that probably aren't Canon compliant very much because I just got into RAE like last week

So like. I feel like Mitzi is a Good Amount younger than the rest of the band like she was in highschool when she joined, the rest of em were all Adults™ and she was a little bit nervous about it because...... ADULTS™

She was just lookin for a place to get her singing voice out there, because ya girl REALLY wanted to perform, and showbiz happened to have a slot open, but she did not expect all of the members to be older than her (although looking back, she realized she probably should have expected that)

It was intimidating at first but Billy Bob and Fatz were just the absolute sweetest and they introduced her properly to the rest of the band because she was like "oh I barely talk to them because I get nervous :(" and the resident dads p much said "aight we can do all the talking for you then, how about that?" And badabing badaboom she's now attached to these two and like honestly who isn't or maybe that's just me but ANYWAYS I feel like the band would become a second home/safe space for her

Yeah fr some reason I have BIG long headcannon for her joining the band but the rest of them? Nobody knows how they got there for all I know they just Showed Up One Day

Also I came across this

https://youtu.be/UU7BeUWQBDI

Which got me thinkin about what my headcannons were as far as sexuality/gender stuff

And I find the concept of Billy Bob being Very Much Straight And Ignorant but trying his hardest to be a good ally SO funny like if someone came out to him he'd probably be like "oh!! I don't understand why you would choose that lifestyle but I respect you!!" not realizing how incredibly stupid he sounds sjkrjh like I don't think he can very easily wrap his head around how people are just. not cishet. so he's like "OH then it must be a choice, right? like you can choose to be gay but you're born straight. Right?" and everyone just shakes their heads in the background but he does earnestly try his best and my man would rather DIE than disrespect someone's pronouns I know this for sure

Fatz is pretty similar, straight ally and a lil confused but he's got the spirit, you know? He still least knows being gay (as well as,,, m o s t sexualities that aren't straight, although some he doesn't get/know about at all) isn't a choice but he hasn't quite grasped that being trans is also not a choice. He will respect your pronouns to hell and back but by god he doesn't get it,,, he's trying though and he feels very accomplished in himself that he's starting to get the hang of using they/them even though he slips up a lot

The rest of the band encourages the HELL out of these two because they're. Trying their best and making an honest effort which is more than a pretty good chunk of people would give

Rolfe, Earl, and Dook are the reasons Billy Bob and Fatz are trying so hard to understand it lmao

Rolfe took it upon himself to hang up a MASSIVE gay pride flag backstage, being the flaming homosexual that he is, and the rest of the squad quickly realized "oh he's GAY gay he wasn't kidding" because at first they literally thought he was joking as he was actually just being openly and obnoxiously a raging mlm (and like I mean no shade to him this isn't me tryna to make fun of it because my dumb sapphic ass almost crashed my car once because I saw a pretty girl walk down the street. And by "once" I mean. Yesterday.) Anyways yeah that's when the rest of em Realized and were like "OH" but after the massive pride flag was hung up that prompted Dook to come out and they were all like "???? YOU TOO????"

Dook is a non-binary ICON he's a demiboy and goes by both he/him and they/them and probably would have a bunch of pride pins I think,,, I'm not really sure of his sexuality though!! honestly he kinda gives me bisexual vibes but Who Knows . Not me. He has a HELL of a time trying to explain his gender to the rest of the band (except for Rolfe because like. He's a part of the community so he knows) and basically he was met with "so you're just a dude but ✨spicy✨?" and it was like, "no, but I have no idea how to explain it in a way that will make sense to you, so. yes?" And that explanation seemed to suffice for most of them

Mitzi went in knowing NOTHING about what being non-binary was so she asked a l o t of questions about it, which Dook just kinda dealt with answering (he's heard most of it before, and it gets tiring after a while. if you're nb or trans or honestly any part of LGBTQ+ you know what I mean) but he thought it was really sweet of her to be so determined to learn about it and eventually she did get a grasp on it ish, so she was able to understand why it wasn't just ✨spicy male✨ (the conversation pretty much went "well if i was just male, don't you think I would label myself that way instead?" "....oH TRUE!!!") and she ended up a VERY passionate ally, and she'll ask occasionally about how to be better at it, bein a queen as she is 👉👉 also definitely started questioning her sexuality after a while and just went with "maybe bicurious" and Rolfe, Dook, and Earl were all like "ONE OF US, ONE OF US"

Earl has never once spoken about his sexuality in his life, because 1. He's very aware that's an awkward conversation to have with a puppet, and 2. He's aroace anyways, which is basically what people assume even if they don't realize it just for their own peace of mind, because seriously, puppets and any identity that ISN'T aroace creates a really uncomfortable mental image for... Most people, pretty much. So it's not like he ever needed to say anything about it, which is convenient for him because he wouldn't want to say anything either way. not worth the risk of embarrassing himself and making everyone feel awkward

(side note ish though Rolfe 100% came out to Earl first and was met with "I already knew that but okay." Rolfe was mildly offended)

And spEAKING OF EARL he's VERY much sentient but he can't say he's particularly enthusiastic about it because Rolfe has to carry him around everywhere

He can move on his own but it's limited and generally annoying to maneuver around with his tiny body so he just says screw it half the time and stays on Rolfe's arm or hitch a ride on Random Object, but like... Yeah, the majority of the time Rolfe just has to deal with only having one arm available and a puppet directly next to him making fun of him at every possible chance

They high-key have chaotic and unorganized college roommate vibes (like they're actually roommates because... Where tf is Earl supposed to go?? So Rolfe took him in) and idk if this is really like a part of my headcannons or if I just think it's funny so I keep entertaining the idea of it but I think it would be Fantastic if Rolfe had no idea how to cook but Earl somehow did so this idiot is trying to take instructions from a puppet, who can't physically show him what to do, and it's like Hell's Kitchen live featuring a furry and a sentient stuffed animal

Aaaaamd going off of my Rolfe and Earl headcannons still Rolfe for SURE has some sort of executive dysfunction issue. ADD or ADHD I'm not sure (probably ADHD) but he definitely has it also this totally isn't just me projecting how dare you accuse me of that

And!!! More about Dook!!!! I don't know how or why I thought up of this but I cannot possibly imagine him any other way now-- he's autistic and space is his Big Huge special interest, and if you ever ask him about it you have to be prepared to get infodumped or possibly even shown a PowerPoint presentation, because GOD he loves space!!! He wants everyone to know all about it!! He knows not everyone thinks it's as cool as he does so he tries to keep his mouth shut but when someone asks about it he can't help himself and will infodump a LOT, also haha drumming stims go brrrr, playing the drums isn't really a stim but he likes to just take his drumsticks and whack em around in the air and get that good ol Wavy Arm Action (wavy arms is best stim change my mind you can't it's GOOD)

Also i bbbbelieve earlier I reposted somethin about someone else headcannoning that he has echolalia, which I don't really know enough about to say anything on it?? But even if he doesn't have echolalia he'd probably repeat phrases over and over until he gets tired of them (which is,,, something I do lmao, it's either memes I get stuck in my head or things I've heard from various medias I like the inflections in (like one tiktokker I saw was talking about their tourettes and their vocal tics and one of them was "uh oh! How unfortunate!" and now I CAN'T STOP SAYING IT)) but like uhhh yeah :))) repeating phrases that get stuck in your head for various reasons for the win

This is already really long so I'm just gonna vibe out thanks for coming to my Ted talk feel free to ask questions I probably won't be able to answer a lot of em though because my headcannons are a Mess hehe >:)

[forgotten-envies]

No Stronger Thread Than Ours

Thank you @miraculously-purple for the prompt! It’s finally done! It’s ~4000 words and can either be read on AO3 here (x) or under the cut.

Wei Wuxian could only remember one conversation he ever had with his mother. It floated in his mind with little detail, the edges as hazy and warped as a dream. Sometimes, he thought he could recall the deep scarlet of his mother’s ribbon. At other times, her laughter, ringing and loud. Most often, he could not find the event itself, could not distinguish between memory and fabrication and was left with only her message, void in tone but permanent in meaning. 

_________

This is your red string of fate. It leads to the one you will love and be loved by.

Wei Ying sat outside the Jiang compound, sulkily watching as a red string coiled, swayed, and darted across the lake. The setting sun warmed his back and cast a long shadow all the way to the edge of the dock. Shijie was inside, meeting her newly betrothed for the first time. Wei Ying was not inside because the stuck-up, gold-plated peacock had dragged his dog with him.

He kicked the water and watched the thread bob like a fishing line. It was an ongoing experiment of his, to see which objects could affect it. People couldn’t, other than him. Nor dogs or trees. He bet even the claws of a divine beast would pass right through. Still, it rippled in the wind and water as if it were actually there and affected. It wasn’t. He’d tried fishing with the thing before, but no bait could be attached. He had high hopes for using it with a spiritually-infused needle, though. 

A tug on the string pulled a grin out of him. There is, of course, one other person that can touch it. The one on the other end. He pulled it into a taught red line strung between two fingers and plucked it with a nail. He adjusted the length and did it again, picking out a crude melody. He thought he could make a language out of it, like the Lans do with their guqins. 

This is how he was found later, scattering thoughts into notes, a phrase. A presence, tall and comforting, settled by his side. He broke off his ciphered letter and pouted up at his shijie. She smiled and folded her legs under herself. “A-Ying, what’s wrong? 

He snuggled up to her side and looked up at her through his lashes, silver eyes wide. She took his hand with a giggle, familiar with this routine after two years as his shijie. “You shouldn’t marry Jin Zixuan,” he whined.

She laughed, surprised. “Why not?”

He twirled the string around a finger. If he knew the person on the other end, he was sure they’d help him. Wei Ying spoke clearly, laying the case before his understanding shijie, “He brought a dog and said the lake smells bad. When I opened  the gate for him, he asked Madam Jin to take him back to Lanling. The peacock wouldn’t eat the cakes you made for him and he didn’t even say you looked pretty!” Her face fell, but she brought an arm up to wrap around him. Wei Ying mentally kicked himself.

“Don’t be disrespectful to your seniors.” The rebuke was half-hearted and soft-edged though, and she rubbed her pinky with her thumb. The nail caught on an invisible cord and her lips lifted a little. “A-Ying, do you know where the red threads lead?”

“The person you’ll love.” He furrowed his brow, wondering what this had to do with Jin peacocks.

Warm hands patted his head. Quiet and slow she explained, “And who will love you in return. A-Ying, Mother set up my engagement to Young Master Jin because we are connected by this.” She brushes her fingers against his pinky. “Jin Zixuan is the one I will marry.”

This made little sense to the boy. “But Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang aren’t connected! You could marry someone else.”

A strange look crossed her face as she sighed. “I think they might be, A-Ying. They love each other in their own way.” He found this hard to believe; impressions of soft touches and laughter lit up the picture he’d formed of his own parents. She flicked his nose. “And Young Master Jin  and I just met. It’s only natural that we don’t love each other yet.” They sat together in silence as Wei Ying composed a ‘hello’ on the thread. 

Their shadows had stretched, rippling on the lake when Wei Ying’s small, unsure voice asked, “Does it take a long time?”

“Hm?”

“To love someone?”

She shook her head and pulled him closer. “I think it takes longer to learn how.”

_________

It may bend,

Wei Wuxian’s too-long, awkward legs tripped on a tree root. He caught himself and kept going, winding his way through the forest surrounding the lake Lotus Pier was built on.

Jiang Cheng was full of it, obviously, and a terrible prankster. Who could believe his half-spun tale of following his thread and meeting his partner? Certainly not Wei Wuxian, who’d once seen his shidi insult his crush to her face, fist clenched and the cake he’d bought as a present to her ruined. He had to laugh at the memory; the girl, a visiting disciple a few years older than them, had smiled and patted the frozen Jiang heir on his impressively blushing cheek, thanking him with a, “Red is my favorite color!” She’d disappeared while Wei Wuxian had been too busy laughing and they never saw her again. 

So clearly, he had evidence.

Still, the general theory holds true. Two people were connected by a continuous thread and therefore could find each other by simply following it to its end, though parents discouraged their children from doing it. Wei Wuxian had brought it up before to Uncle Jiang and was merely answered with, “They are threads of fate. You shouldn’t rush it.”

But he was restless and it was summer. The Yunmeng sun seemed to stick to one’s skin, seeping its too-bright rays through burned ears. It turned thoughts into the soft, catching mud on the banks of the receded lakes and encouraged the most reckless of decisions.

He wiggled the string like a trill. It was a habit he’d developed, a simple way to convey laughter to the person on the other side, as he wasn’t there to teach his partner the basic language he’d made. Still, he continued expanding the language and sending his letters. He wanted that person to know how he was feeling, wanted to form a relationship. Maybe that was why he was out here, trekking through the forest and spooling red thread around his fingers before it shortened.

It was behaving… strangely, if such a thing could behave at all. It stretched through tree trunks as it normally did, unaffected, but at other points, it wound around several different trees and formed elaborate knots. He knew why the string twisted, who wouldn’t? The Thread and its Three Difficulties were taught early on in the form of stories and cemented in copious allusions. All three were directly caused by the wishes or actions of one or both thread-mates; ergo, his partner was bending the thread.

Honestly, Wei Wuxian couldn’t understand at all why someone would do this. Who didn’t want to meet their partner? Their confidant and future spouse? Well, he wasn’t anyone to be afraid of! And they were destined to love each other, after all.

He circled four trees, straightening the latest knot, and kept following it. The problem was that the thin string could barely be seen from only a few feet away, so he couldn’t simply bypass the entanglement and shorten the string as it fell behind him. So he did it this way and wasn’t sure if it was better to blame his slowly growing dizziness on the heat or his circular motions. Last night’s second jar had been a sweet mistake. He can’t bring himself to regret it.

Hours passed. Several times, he groaned out loud at especially layered or lengthy configurations but didn’t turn back. After the last one, he’d sent, “Just make it a little easier. I’m trying to be friends with you!”  across the thread, but the words seemed to have no effect, or at least no positive one.

The shadows lengthened until the only light came from the talisman glittering in Wei Wuxian’s hand. Made even harder to see in the dark, the string could only be followed and not anticipated.

Finally, he could feel it straightening out, wavering less and forming only very simple knots. He smiled and trilled a laugh, recklessly bounding through the night as he chased his goal. 

He seemed to reach some sort of transition in the terrain, the end of the forest, perhaps, and broke through it. He paused, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, inhaling deeply the fresh, night air, smelling faintly of lotuses. 

His eyes snapped open, and suddenly, he thought he hated nothing more than the lake that spread out in front of him, illuminated by the glow of Lotus Pier at its center. He had followed the thread, gotten turned around so often that he couldn’t tell North from South, and essentially made a very large circle, ending up not far from where he had started.

In the shifting glow of the talisman, his red thread shot off into the forest once more, twisting around a tree like a last teasing, parting wave. 

As he made the short walk back to his little boat, a thought, the only reasonable conclusion, cleared his mind of any lingering sun-induced daze and chilled him in a way the slight breeze could never achieve. 

The recipient of his many letters, his thread-mate, did not want to be found. 

_________

Stretch,

The Cloud Recesses were beautiful, quiet and peaceful in a timeless, pristine sort of way. Its stones had never been stained with spilled dye, its waters ran mountain-cold and pure, and its people walked slowly and purposefully, confident yet humble in their talents. 

All of these qualities, however, faded to a pale background in the presence of its Second Jade, Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian’s thread-mate. He was purity, icy coldness, and a cloud’s grace. He spoke little, saving his words for only the most important things, the complete opposite of Wei Wuxian who talked even when he could not speak, plucking messages to a person who never responded, aside from biting out scathing remarks about Wei Wuxian. 

And that was it, wasn’t it? His jade-like face never smiled at Wuxian’s antics, only glared and turned away. His deep, soothing voice bit out rebukes for breaking the rules. His powerful frame held no comfort, but rather sidestepped gentle, yearning touches. 

His red string, so bright against colorless robes, hung between them and spooled in a pile on the ground. 

“Lan Zhan!”

“We are not close.”

In the frigid emptiness of a cave under Qishan, hours of battle and days of synchronous preparation led to two people, their breaths shallow and hearts weakened. They stared at each other, gold and silver mixing until one blinked, slow and threatening sleep.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan… sing for me.”

Lan Wangji, brow furrowed in pain, in worry, gently held Wei Wuxian’s hand as if it would break at the slightest movement. In the dark, no excess thread lay between them, no distance separated. 

The world faded and Lan Zhan sang. 

When Wei Wuxian was dropped into the Burial Mounds, he reached out, clutching the taut line as he fell, wishing he could be caught, held, saved. 

When he walked out, shadows filling his fractures and curling around his steps, he did not follow the string. It spilled lax and trailing on the ground, a line of red blood against death-gray. He laughed, but for the first time since he’d begun the habit, he didn’t share it with Lan Zhan. The spirits laughed with him. Good, they said, a grating hiss, feel our resentment, feel our pain. His chest tightened with it, the weight a constant companion, now. Be our revenge! On the last word, familiar screams filled his mind and he pulled out his flute, black as the place it came from, and began playing.

He hunted and he tortured and he had his revenge. When Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan found him, smiles and laughter concealed the damage to his spirit, but the person they expected him to be had died with a prayer on his lips and left barely more than a shell for resentful energy in his wake.

“Wei Wuxian!” “Lan Wangji!”

Again, Wei Wuxian walked out of the Burial Mounds, a flute at his side and a red thread dragging on the ground before him. This time, though, a child sat on his shoulders, laughing pure and untainted, uncaring of his small dinner, lack of playmates, and a guardian who was not his parents. 

The people he now lived with healed Wei Wuxian in a way that the resentful energy could not replicate. A few treasured moments with Wen Qing or a-Yuan or any of the other people who had, quite suddenly, become his family, scattered themselves throughout every bad day. They each featured prominently in the good days. No day could be called perfect when living in the Burial Mounds, but a certain balance formed, a precarious yin and yang.

On the days he was the most clear-headed, he found himself sending messages to Lan Zhan, an activity that had stopped during the Sunshot Campaign. He played about his inventions and his breakthroughs, Uncle Four’s wine and the adventures of a-Yuan. He thought, a strange feeling too warm to be resentful energy curling around his heart, that Lan Zhan would make a good father, though a stricter one than himself. 

In Yiling, Lan Zhan found a-Yuan and spoiled him more than Wei Wuxian thought the austere man capable of. He shared a meal with the two, a red string pooling underneath the table. Wei Wuxian tried to keep the conversation on lighter matters, asking about gossip he knew Lan Zhan wouldn’t provide. For his trouble, he learned of a wedding he couldn’t be invited to, a painful reminder of the family he’d left behind. Inevitably and with his typical direct manner, Lan Zhan changed the subject.

“Can you control it? Will you stay like this from now on?” The Second Jade of Lan probably couldn’t imagine a life in the Burial Mounds, tainted in a way the Cloud Recesses weren’t. He would never choose to walk the single-plank bridge.

When he ran out of the tea shop, Lan Zhan followed. He spared Wen Ning and even helped return him to consciousness, but he would not stay. Wei Wuxian led him to the barrier and with a rueful look, finally answered his question.

“What other choice do I have?” Stay here, and do not leave, Wei Wuxian didn’t say.

Lan Zhan left and did not turn back.

_________

And fray,

Everything blurred together as the shadows whispered and screamed, pulling him down, down, building his resentment at himself, at the righteous, at the shadows themselves. He raised an army brimming with power and darkness, held together by an iron seal. Both him and them, control, control. 

Let it burst out in a wave, let it destroy.

Weak and trembling, frayed threads touched a frayed being. “Goodbye.”

One army against another, familiar faces battling his own end, his final weakness.

As the seal broke, Wei Wuxian acknowledged a truth that he’d chosen to ignore since that day in Yunmeng with his shijie. Between his hands, the blood-red string vibrated, conveying his heart. But a pinch stilled movement and stopped sound, so nothing ever reached his thread-mate. 

Lan Zhan hadn’t heard.

He plucked a laugh across the connection, no fingers to still it, and shuffling feet turned toward him.

_________

Quiet, thin notes gently pulled Wei Wuxian from the depths of sleep. Slowly, he became aware of the warmth that surrounded him, the body pressed against his chest and the quilt draped across them both. Bright, mid-morning sunlight streamed into his eyes from the window above their bed and Wei Wuxian turned his head to bury it in Lan Zhan’s hair.

The lullaby-like song stopped as his husband turned to face him, graceful in a way Wei Wuxian hadn’t thought possible before marrying him. Soft, golden eyes drifted over his face, taking in the sleepy mess of it all. His lips upturned, a content smile. Neither of them spoke, enjoying the peaceful beauty of both the morning and each other. 

They didn’t often have the opportunity to spend mornings in bed together. Supervisory responsibilities required that Lan Zhan be ready much earlier than Wei Wuxian’s habitual wake-up time and they both taught the junior disciples in the afternoon. As such, he treasured such chances to simply be. No boundaries lay between them, no expectations to uphold. They could brush light kisses to tired eyes, entwine their hands, and let themselves breathe.

Wei Wuxian closed his eyes, regulating his breathing to match his husband’s as he entered a casual sort of meditation. He didn’t, couldn’t, stop thinking altogether, but he had become decent at dismissing whatever thoughts came up as unimportant in the moment. Mastery of the technique had by no means been achieved, though..

Eventually, Wei Wuxian’s curiosity got the better of him. Turning so Lan Zhan’s arm curled around his shoulders, he voiced the question that floated lazily at the back of his mind. 

“What instrument were you playing?” he said, voice low and smiling, “It couldn’t have been your guqin. Wangji is deeper. Besides, you only played one note at a time and it doesn’t fit on the bed anyway.” He laughed, quieter than usual but just as happy.

Lan Zhan brought their hands to his lips, peppering a few kisses onto his husband’s knuckles. He looked up, turning their hands so that their little fingers lay in front of Wei Wuxian, the red thread connected to them wrapped loosely around their hands.

His mouth opened quickly once he understood Lan Zhan’s meaning. “You played a song… on the string?” 

“Mm.” Lan Zhan hummed, low and trailing.

He rubbed their thumbs together, thinking. “You know I used to do something like that too?” He glanced over at Lan Zhan and found his head tilted forward in interest. “I made up a whole language! I was inspired by the Lan Clan, of course, but it’s very different from the guqin language, seeing as there’s only one string.”

He smiled wistfully, remembering all the letters he’d sent to his thread-mate even before he’d known it was Lan Zhan. “I would compose letters to you. You couldn’t hear them, of course,” he laughed, “but I liked imagining that you could, that you listened to each one.” He shook his head. “It was foolish, I know, but you’d silence me all the time! I had to talk to you somehow!”  Lan Zhan’s face didn’t slip into his typical fond exasperation at the teasing, instead dropping the smile and becoming serious. 

Wei Wuxian turned back over and brought his free hand up to cup the beautiful face. “Hey, are you okay?”

Lan Zhan looked away, a shadow of sadness coming to rest over his eyes. “I would also speak to you, in a way.” 

Wei Wuxian fought to keep his many questions from bubbling out of his mouth, knowing by now to let Lan Zhan finish whatever he wanted to say. 

“I composed songs on it to convey my thoughts, like Brother.” From what he had learned from them both, Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan often conveyed their emotions to each other via songs and duets. It was simpler than stumbling over words that could be misinterpreted.

“You… played me music?”

“Mn.” His ears looked a little pink, now.

Wei Wuxian smiled and moved closer, pressing their hands between their chests. “Well at least the conversation was two-sided then, even if neither of our messages reached each other.”

Lan Zhan shook his head, a slight, confused movement. “I often received a message from you.”

“A message? Nothing gets through to the other side.” He pinched the string like he used to and plucked it. No vibrations traveled to Lan Zhan’s little finger.

Lan Zhan shook his head and moved a finger to the string, flicking it quickly in a familiar motion.

Oh.

“You… you knew those were from me?”

“Yes, Wei Ying.” There was that fond exasperation, relaxed and a little teasing in itself which, fair. It’s not like anything else could have touched the string.

“Do you know what it means?” He’d never mentioned it to his husband; such a small thing had never seemed important. Besides that, it’d become natural to him, second nature.

“It is Wei Ying’s laugh.”

Surprised, Wei Wuxian did just that, a little too loud for such a morning, and, reflexively, trilled it on the thread. His eyes widened. “My Lan-er-gege knows me so well!”

Leaning in, he offered a kiss, and they stayed like that, lips barely moving against each other, for a long while, until once more, Wei Wuxian broke the silence with a quiet, “I’m glad we know how to love each other, Lan Zhan.”

Eyes gentle, he pulled Wei Wuxian into his arms. 

But it will never break.

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕌𝕡♡

Hi hi! Could I please get a matchup for Haikyuu and Demon Slayer with male characters? I’m a female, 5'5", american with short (a bob almost) blonde hair and dark blue/grayish eyes. My personality type is INFP, however I am fairly extroverted as well so I would definitely say I’m an ambivert. I’m also a sagittarius and I relate a lot to my sign, I’m very adventurous, spontaneous at times. I love a good old midnight adventure. I’m also fairly blunt sometimes and tend to tell things how they are. I usually try to just keep my mouth shut though so I don’t offend or upset anyone. I will not be talked down to though and don’t like being disrespected, it makes me pretty angry. I can get a little fired up when people try to pull stuff like that and I’m not afraid to put someone in their place. While this may be the case, I rarely have issues like that and am usually seen as someone very kind. I’m a person that people feel like they can come to with their secrets and for advice even if they aren’t really close to me. I’m sorta the mom friend but I’m also the crackhead energy friend sometimes.

I grew up in a slightly more rural area of my city and would always be running around playing outside which is what I feel like helped contribute to my slightly “tomboyish” nature. So I enjoy doing things outside like hiking and kayaking. I also played soccer for 13 years, I loved and enjoyed the sport very much, I played for fun and on competitive travel teams until I graduated high school. Along with the “tomboyish” aspect, I have a bit of a mixed personality between boho hippy and alternative punk. I listen to a lot of punk, alt, and classic rock but also a lot of indie and other genres too. I feel like you can tell a lot by peoples music tastes. I’m a stoner and I like to just be chill and tend to just go with the flow of life. I don’t worry about things such as religion or politics and try to stay away from those topics cause I feel like people argue about them too much. I also have a fairly dirty mind and love dark humor, humor in general cause I love a good laugh. I’m also the “looks innocent but totally isn’t” type as well.

I’m about to go into my last year of university and I’ll be finishing with a marine biology degree and a french degree (I’ve been learning french since I was little) and then plan to continue to graduate school for marine biology so I can do research on sharks. I’m fairly dedicated to school and have very set goals, I can be hardworking when I need to be but I’m also a huge procrastinator just because I know I can get things done last minute. I enjoy spending my free time hanging out with friends, playing video games, and occasionally I love enjoying a good book. Overall I’m pretty bubbly and very open once people get to know me, I start off being a lil awkward just until I open up to people and I have a very all over the place taste in things. Sorry if this is a lot, THANK YOU <333 :’)

»»————-　♡　————-««

Hello @sunnsflower~! Yes you can~! I hope you enjoy the match ups I’ve given you~! Thank you for requesting and your support~! ;; 

» » Admin Ko

𝕀 𝕊𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕚𝕟𝕘…

ʏᴜᴊɪ ᴛᴇʀᴜꜱʜɪᴍᴀ

Chaotic yet cheerful and energetic Terushima~! I feel as though he’d match quite well with your adventurous attitude~! He loves going on spontaneous adventures with you and will definitely want to make every moment with you as memorable as possible~! He doesn’t mind that you’re blunt-- he actually lives for it! It honestly helps to keep him in line and he actually learns to not spazz out too much or be too careless. He tries to encourage you to speak up more though, he feels as though people should be able to state an opinion without malice involved. After all, if you’re confronted with a problem that you have it’s better to own up and change for the better!

He learned that the hard way after a match against Karasuno---  Terushima will be your biggest hype man. He’ll literally back you up if someone is out speaking out of line and honestly, if you don’t say something he might. He really enjoys going to you for advice, and even though he’s a chaotic man, he hopes that you can rely on him as someone who can be there for you during those hard times. 

Terushima absolutely adores how laid back you can be and how you go with the flow of life. Despite what others may think of who he has interests in or what his type would be stereotyped as, he actually likes all types of people as long as they’re able to mingle with his personality well! He’s interested in your various styles and loves to listen to any music recommendation you give him! It’ll only serve more as a reminder of you whenever he listens to anything you recommend him. He absolutely loves your dirty mind, because he’s just as bad as you. His dark humor may not be the best, but he does find them appealing and honestly relatable!

With PDA, he’s super touchy. He loves to have you at least within arms length away because he’s honestly a clingy baby. He really loves to snuggle up to you and hold you close. His favorite thing to do is to lay in bed right before you both fall asleep and to just look at you before giving you cute Eskimo kisses. Despite being chaotic and loud, Tersuhima is a sucker for the soft moments.

ᴛᴀɴᴊɪʀᴏ ᴋᴀᴍᴀᴅᴏ

ON THE OPPOSITE END OF THE SPECTRUM, we have the sweet older brother figure~! Super understanding and patient and will undoubtedly go out on adventures with you if you ask him to go along with you! Though he’ll be a bit worried for the late night adventures, he steels his resolve and will honestly be a bit more protective of you in that case. 

He thinks your honesty and blunt comments can be hurtful, but honestly needed. To him, there’s no point in trying to sugar coat something if it was clearly wrong, and loves it when you can help drop the bomb on someone who is clearly stepping out of line. 

Much more of the peacemaker, he’ll try to also calm you down if someone is being disrespectful or rude to you. He wants the situation to de-escalate as quickly as possible because he knows acting on pure emotion alone can lead to very nasty memories and experiences. If anything, he’ll lecture the person and if they’re a lost cause he’s not even going to bother. It’s one thing to try and help, but if they’re clearly being ignorant and biased to their own opinions he sees no point in wasting time or air on someone like that and will most likely take you away and treat you while letting you rant and vent about the person.

Similar to you, Tanjiro grew up in a rural area. He loves your personality and doesn’t really see it as the stereotypes that people label things. He honestly sees it as you being a kid who wanted to have fun in her own way. He definitely gets curious about your music tastes and will always lend an ear to any recommendation or if you want a listening partner! 

He gets quite flustered at your dirty mind and will always turn beet red at any sort of innuendo which is charming in it’s own way. He tries to do the same but ends up too flustered and shy to even continue. Though on the flip side, he’s very confident with PDA! Much to Zenitsu’s surprise of course. He will gently hold your hand, or guide you around the town with his arm lightly wrapped around your waist while he smiles sweetly at you. Maybe even sneak in a little kiss or two when it’s not too crowded~

[takaraphoenix]

percy jackson for the ask game

Thanks for playing! ^^

Top 5 favourite characters: Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, Clarisse la Rue, Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Silena Beauregard

Other characters you like: Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Thalia Grace, Leo Valdez, Charles Beckendorf, Tyson

Least favourite characters: Hera, uuuhm I mean Drew I guess and Nancy?? I don’t know, I’ve gone through so many cycles with PJO, I’ve come around on most characters

Otps: again, let’s make that a Top Five? Nico/Percy, Jason/Percy, Octavian/Percy, Triton/Percy, Will/Pery

Notps: Percy/Annabeth, Leo/Calypso, Grover/Percy, Tyson/Percy, book Luke/Percy

Favourite friendships: Canon? Grover & Percy, Clarisse & Percy, Nico & Reyna

Favourite family: I meeean technically they are ALL family since all of the gods are siblings/cousins! ;D Okay, okay. Paul, Sally, Percy and Tyson! A very obvious pick

Favourite episodes: doesn’t have a TV show adaptation yet? xD

Favourite season/book/movie: The Battle of the Labyrinth

Favourite quotes: not really a quote-kinda-gal

Best musical moment: haven’t gotten to see the musical yet!

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I mean obviously when black on white it was confirmed that Nico was in love with Percy? Like? You can imagine, yes? :D

When it really disappointed you: …so often *whispers softly, voice breaking* but to sum it up basically from The Mark of Athena through to the end. The above mentioned confession was honestly like the only highlight out of those three books...

Saddest moment: WHEN THEY KILLED OFF BECKENDORF AND THEN KILLED OFF SELINA. I CRIED THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY

Most well done character death: Luke’s death was shit, Ethan’s death was frustrating because it was a cheap cop out of an actual redemption arc I really hate the “chose the wrong side and now immediately dies in a Heroic Sacrifice”-trope (which plays into why Luke’s death was shit), Bianca’s death was ridiculous - the fact that out of ALL of the Huntresses they picked the one who had been a huntress for 0.2 DAYS was just pathetic and literally projectd “this 12 year old child with zero combat training is totally gonna die” all along and it pisses me off so much, while Silena and Beckendorf made me cry they were also frustrating because they were avoidable had people used their brains, Octavian’s death genuinely made me furious because it was played for cheap laughs... I guess Bob and Damansen by default then...?

Favourite guest star: uuuuuuuh I got nothing

Favourite cast member: Leven Rambin as Clarisse la Rue?? Holy shit blessed casting thank you

Character you wish was still alive: ...one? I only get one? *distressed Phoe-noises* Silena? Charles? Ethan? Urgh. How dare you make me pick only one...

One thing you hope really happens: ...I know there are people out there still reading the new books and I wouldn’t wish this for them because they clearly still enjoy it, but good gods do I wish Riordan would just finally stop and give Percy a rest. Like, not even stop writing - he could write new things. but stop dragging Percy Jackson personally into everything, be that visiting the Norse because hey it’s his gf’s cousin, or getting dragged into Apollo’s weird shit, seriously just... move on, please

Most shocking twist: quite truthfully that Ares was the traitorous god in The Lightning Thief and not Hades. I am so used to Hades being painted as The Bad Guy and the Evil Mastermind bullshit that it was genuinely so refreshing that no actually he’s just wronged because he wants his property back too and he’s not actually the bad guy??

When did you start watching/reading?: 2010, I guess, right after I saw the movie for the first time

Best animal/creature: BLACKJACK BLACKJACK BLACKJACK. No wait Mrs. O’Leary is also there! :O Both? Both!

Favourite location: THE UNDERWORLD

Trope you wish they would stop using: Everyone Needs To Be Paired Up! Seriously, obsessive shipping in canon is cringey but if you have a literal ship with seven crewmates and it turns out to be three couples and the seventh is first in a Love Triangle with one of the couples and THEN gets his own girlfriend, that’s... that’s genuinely pathetic, like I would raise a judgemental eyebrow at a fanfiction that ships everyone off this perfectly paired up, but a published actual work that is not the author’s very first publication? That’s embarrassing, man

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: portrayal of Greek gods and myths

Funniest moments: snarky Percy sassing gods :D

Couple you would like to see: This implies a non-canon couple I’d like to see become canon and just honestly, genuinely, none, good gods there is already too much romance as it is, dial it back

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: honestly, the second movie took the two only fancasts that were dear to me and actually cast them. Anthony Head as Chiron and Nathan Fillion as Hermes. That was such perfect casting and were my only casting wishes, so like... I got nothing

Favourite outfit: Clarisse’s movie outfit?? It’s? So? Good??

Favourite item: I mean, Riptide is really practical?

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: A very dear friend of mine gave me the movie poster for the second movie and it is hanging on my ceiling :D But other than that, sadly enough this franchise is not exactly heavy on merch - which is ridiculous to me... the opportunities. Please make this into a cartoon and start producing ALL of the figures and toys. All of them. Seriously, the toy opportunity on this franchise is so huge??

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: uuuuuuh honestly no god really fits me so I don’t know

Most boring plotline: Annabeth’s third book side-quest really bore me

Most laughably bad moment: When they had a prophecy about an “angel’s breath” and Annabeth Chase, daughter of ATHENA, stood right there, not figuring it out - but Piper did. That... That did Annabeth such a freaking disservice, seriously the disrespect from Riordan there. Why did you even make her a daughter of wisdom if you aren’t going to use her to be clever? That actively made me bang my head against the nearest wall because it was such an obvious part of the riddle like seeeriously

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: I loved learning more about Annabeth, Luke and Thalia’s past together

Most layered character: I mean Percy, but that’s also due to getting five books exclusively from his POV

Most one dimensional character: lol like the dozen or so characters who only exist as First Name Only? And yeah, I get it, you can’t flesh them all out more. But Jason Grace had a whole-ass life before he came to CHB and we got name-drops of his closest friends in The Lost Hero, but most of them remained a name only and Jason not only didn’t get to team up with them later on, to try and convince them to join his cause, he also never actively thought about them. I don’t know, but if I’d spend months away from all my friends, I would definitely spend some of my POV thinking about them...

Scariest moment: thiiis was not a scary series

Grossest moment: When Riordan tried to sell domestic violence as cute, aka Annabeth judo-flipping her boyfriend in punishment for getting abducted by a goddess :D”““ what the fuq

Best looking male: if we go by actors, I guess Chris Rodriguez? xD

Best looking female: oooh definitely Clarisse when we go with the movie faces *^*

Who you’re crushing on (if any): mmmh yeah no

Favourite cast moment: I do not know any xD”

Favourite transportation: shadow-travel! It’s so cool

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): them entering the underworld was pretty damn cool??

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: NICO’S AGE. CONSISTENCY. Stop posting things that contradict each other like just stop tweeting canons out if you don’t have a fixed list of what is canon. ALSO SALLY’S MOTHER IS NAMED LAURA, SHE WAS NAMED LAURA FOR YEARS BEFORE YOU FORGOT THAT YOU NAMED THAT CHARACTER LAURA AND NOW SALLY NAMED HER CANON DAUGHTER FUCKING ESTELLE AFTER HER MOTHER’S NEW NAME. Good gods. How do professional authors not have lists to crosscheck about vital information of their own characters, like their birthdates and their parents’ names.

Best promo: I don’t watch promos

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Honestly before I watched the movie already, when I read on wikipedia that a son of Hades was not just A Good Guy in this bookseries but also a main character :D

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

[bang-to-the-tan]

Moth to Flame Chapter 2

Reader x OT7

► Vampire!AU

Smut/Porn With Some Plot

Warnings: Somewhat Dubious Consent/Hypnosis, Possessiveness, Vampires (Biting, Blood-Sucking, Reference to Death), Language

↳ Summary: Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry...

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You come to slowly.

The first thing that occurs to you is that, for all you think you drank, your head actually feels pretty alright. Stomach doesn’t seem to be in any worse shape, either. Before you even open your eyes, you’re ticking off a mental checklist of all your limbs, all systems. Everything seems to be functional. When you go to shift your legs you realize you’re embarrassingly sticky in the downstairs zone, for some reason. With a start, you sit up, casting a confused look about your surroundings. You’re sitting on a four-poster bed easily three times your size, thick maroon drapes tied back to reveal the rest of a sparsely decorated but ornate room. Leaning forward, you gape at what looks like a faded painting on the ceiling—painted directly onto it with a hand no stranger to details and gold paint that shimmers when you move. Huge windows, covered by heavy curtains, decorate the far wall. It’s dark, but there are dimly lit lanterns that lend a soft glow to your sight. Old, very old lanterns, fitted with electrical lights.

You take a steadying breath, moving to slide off the bed and peering about your surroundings with a hesitant glance. For all intents and purposes, it seems you’re alone.

Trying to remember how you got here is futile. A sharp flash of tongues slipping against your neck. Hands caressing the apex of your thighs, murmured promises at your ear. You shudder at the memory. Unfortunately, that seems to be all that you can recall, especially with the fog in your mind that refuses to abate. Instead of dwelling too hard on it, you decide to focus on getting a better understanding of where you are. The door makes a small noise when you pull it open, and you flinch at the sound, but nothing else disturbs the stillness of the outside hallway. It’s long, peppered with a handful of other doors. The rich carpet muffles your steps as you follow it towards an archway that seems to be emitting more light than anywhere else. Peeking through reveals a wide entrance hall preceded by a wide staircase. The ceiling here is massive, decorated with a huge chandelier that casts slivers of light about the room.

It only takes another look at the luxury of the staircase before you make up your mind to go down it. Besides, the huge double doors to the front must be the way out. Maybe you can get a better bearing from out there, find your way back…somewhere. You aren’t really sure where else you’re meant to be—only that it doesn’t seem like it should be where you are. The staircase echoes your dainty footsteps, the railing smooth under your hand. Halfway down the steps, the carved mahogany doors creak once, and begin to slide open from the outside. You freeze.

Through the doorway steps a tall man, his gaze on the floor. Broad-shouldered, raven-haired, and so very tired as he comes through and closes the door behind himself. You can hear him inhale from here, as though about to sigh, but he stops before the exhale, ceasing all movement. Your blood turns to ice, and you briefly consider running. Could you make it back up to the room before he saw you? But thoughts of escape vanish into the ether when he turns slowly, weary gaze immediately zeroing in on you. Plump lips like rose petals part as he blinks in surprise.

“Hello,” he greets, his tone confused.

“Hello.” You echo, startled by the sound of your own voice.

He pauses, and you can feel the heartbeat lodged in your throat ticking the seconds away. His eyes are dark almonds as he regards you, curved and heavy with bags that betray so many nights without proper sleep. A slender finger suddenly raises to gesture at you, sculpted eyebrows rising almost comically. “You. You are the ‘problem’ I’ve been dealing with all night.” You aren’t sure how to reply to that. He blinks hard, and makes a long-suffering noise. “Of course you are.” When he looks back to meet your gaze, his expression has softened into something like sympathy.

“Come here. Let’s take a look at you.” He extends an arm, holding out a hand, an inviting smile appearing on his face. You’re already tapping down the rest of the stairs, gravitating towards him as obediently as though pulled by an invisible string. The closer you get to him, the better you feel, the more like you belong. His large hand engulfs yours when you place it within his grasp, eager to comply. He searches your eyes like he’s looking for something in particular, the corners of his mouth shifting upwards even further. His other hand rises to cradle your cheek, and you press into the warmth and the softness of his palm. Your eyes almost flutter closed at how good it feels against you. This must have been what you were looking for, seeing as how you’re so immediately put at ease. What a relief that you found him.

“You’re a sweet thing, aren’t you?” he breathes. He recaptures your attention with a tilt of his head. “Has anybody hurt you?”

You shake your head.

“That’s good.” His voice shakes briefly, but he clears his throat. He pulls you closer, his hand releasing yours to curl around your waist, and you can feel the heat radiating off of him. Your heartbeat quickens at the sudden thought of throwing your arms around his incredibly wide shoulders, dipping nearer to taste the softness of his lips. “I’m guessing you don’t remember much.” When he speaks, it’s hushed. Soothing.

You shake your head again. He hums, visibly distracted by your jaw, his thumb brushing your cheek. He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing, but hesitantly draws you even closer, so that your breasts press into his chest.

“You are in so much danger,” he murmurs so lowly you almost don’t catch it. His head inclines, fingers tilting your face to the side, and you feel his mouth just below your jawline, sliding across your neck. You can’t help but mewl quietly--serving only to spur him on to press a firm kiss there, the heat of his tongue tasting your skin. A deep noise rumbles through his chest, hungry, needy, and you whine. But his arm disengages from your middle to place a hand on your shoulder and push you away, hair tickling your cheek as he steps back, his other hand returning to his side. He looks no less tired, but now there is a darkness in his eyes that belies his gentle nature. You shiver.

“Do you want to explain this to me?” He speaks so plainly that for a moment, you think he’s talking to you until he cranes to address a familiar shape standing on the stairs. Red hair, youthful face, standing in the shadow cast by the enormous ceiling and sprinkled with pinpoints of light cast off from the chandelier. Cherry’s eyes flit from you to the older man, wetting his lips nervously.

“I wasn’t…I wasn’t done with her.”

“Why not?”

The boy shifts, uncomfortable, leaning against the railing and looking to the side. “We had to leave.”

“Did you.” The lack of amusement in his voice sends ice crawling up your spine. You wish he would go back to touching you some more instead. “Why was that?”

There is no reply from the youth, but for a brief moment, he glances back at you and away.

“You were over our borders, weren’t you?”

“It was just for one night—“

“Goddamnit, Jungkook.” Jungkook. You faintly remember the driver calling him that, too. “The borders exist to protect us, to keep you safe, all of you. You disrespected an entire coven of your elders. I’ve been running damage control all night because of you.”

“I—“

“I thought you knew better. I thought I could trust you.”

‘Jungkook’ visibly flinches at that, excuses dying on his tongue. He turns back slowly, his expression shining with regret.

“I…I’m sorry.” He starts moving again, down the stairs, towards the two of you. His tone is genuinely apologetic as he speaks in a soft voice. “I thought…I thought it would be okay if I brought my brothers with me. Just for one night. I didn’t mean any disrespect.”

The other man just sighs through his nose, shaking his head.

Jungkook stops just in front of you, looking to you only long enough to reach for your hand, which you immediately submit for him. His palm is warm clasped to yours, firm and strong.

“I can take care of this,” he says gently, placating. Hopeful. “And tomorrow I’ll go apologize to Namjoon myself.”

“I appreciate that. Really, I do. But the only reason you came back from their territory in the first place was as a warning; to you and me. They knew you were there long before you’d realized. You go in again, unannounced, and they’ll tear you apart. Plus…”

Two sets of dark eyes slide to you in tandem and you feel so incredibly small between them.

“You stole from them.”

“What? I didn’t—“

“She was on their turf. She was theirs, by all counts. Honestly you’d be in worse trouble if you had finished.” He raises his hand to your face, curling his fingers under your chin, pressing his thumb against your lip. You try to subtly kiss the tip but he disallows it, holding you in place. “At least this way, we can just give her back and maybe this whole thing will blow over.”

“That’s not fair. Jin, that isn’t fair. She’s my birthday present. I-I already got so close. I’m so hungry, please.”

“We’re all hungry, Jungkook. You’re just going to have to hunt somewhere else instead of stealing from others.” The elder male’s hand slips from you and he steps back again.

“There isn’t anywhere else,” Jungkook continues to protest, “Our territory’s shrinking. There’s been too many disappearances—“

“I guess you’ll have to be careful, then.” He turns to leave, but spins on his heel one last time, pointing towards you.

“Keep a closer eye on her. She doesn’t need to be wandering about the place; you know she was about to walk right through the front door?”

“I was just waiting for her to wake up...I didn’t think she’d try to leave so quickly—“

“And don’t touch her. I’m serious. I’ll send word out to Namjoon to try and fix your mess before it gets any worse.”

“You’ll send Jimin out to Namjoon, you mean,” Jungkook grumbles.

“Your brothers and I were the only things that saved you tonight. Don’t forget that,” he shoots back, his glance back less pointed than tired. “If you were with any other coven, you’d be ashes by now. Don’t be an ungrateful brat.”

Jungkook looks like he wants to continue arguing, but he hesitates with a sharp inhale. Instead, he nods to the side, red fringe doing little to hide the sour expression curling his face. You’re vividly aware of your heartbeat in the quiet that follows, and absently squeeze his hand for comfort. Exchanging glances with him, you simultaneously try to offer a hazy smile and re-grasp the train of thought you’d been chasing before this encounter, now that the discussion seems to be over. Certainly there was something on your mind. Something of vague importance, you’re sure. Was it following that man? It might have been.

“It’ll wear off in a few minutes.” Jungkook says after a moment. You nod sagely. “It’s not as strong with us cos we’re younger.”

You nod again. A rueful grin crawls across his face, slowly, before he shakes his head.

“Aaahh, look at you,” he mumbles. “How am I supposed to leave you alone?”

You don’t know. You didn’t understand any of their conversation, really.

“Are you hungry? Is that why you were going out?”

You are starving. How could you forget that? That must have been what you were doing. He’s so smart, you’re glad he’s here to take care of you. You nod.

“Come on.” He tugs at your hand, but releases it after a second’s hesitation, fingers brushing yours. Both his hands instead find themselves jammed in the pockets of his black jeans as he starts to walk in the opposite direction of the other man. His head jerks towards the corridor. “Kitchen’s through here.”

You follow him through the hallway, throwing him a cheerful grin every time he looks over his shoulder. He acts as if he’s only making sure you’re still there, which is odd because you’re pretty sure you haven’t got anywhere else to be. When he turns and the light glances off him just right, you catch a better glimpse of his backside, and your immediate appreciation of its musculature triggers more memory from last night. You almost trip over your own feet at the strength of the sudden wave of arousal that washes over you.

“I can’t guarantee we’ve got a whole lot for you,” he interrupts your filthy thoughts, stepping through a doorway into a sizeable, tiled kitchen. It’s not just clean—it’s untouched. No dishes anywhere, nothing to suggest anyone has even used it in the past century. Jungkook drifts over to a cupboard at random and flings it open, digging through. The strange thought occurs to you that he hasn’t actually introduced himself, and this time the spark of apprehension sticks in your mind instead of dissipating into compliance. It takes root, spurred on by the simple fact of its absence and replacing the steadily growing heat in your stomach with ice. Why do you trust him if you didn’t even know his name?...

“Crackers.” He says, oblivious to your inner turmoil, retrieving an old box and blowing the dust off the top of it. He turns it in one large hand, doe eyes appraising the packaging, one eyebrow cocked. “Good for another four years, I think.” He wets his lips, smacking carelessly before he shoves it towards you. “Here.”

You stare at him. You don’t accept it, grasping at the sudden rebellion that rises inside you, the tiny voice that screams to plant your feet. To keep your hands to yourself.

His head bobs encouragingly, jiggling the box within your reach. “Take it.”

You don’t want to. But you reach up slowly, anyways, and pluck it from his waiting fingers. He watches you expectantly as you stand there, dumbfounded, cradling the box of crackers to your chest.

 You weren’t looking for the other man when you came down here. You were trying to go out the front door. Why didn’t you go out the door? Jungkook chuckles at your expression of confusion, nose scrunching.

“I told you it would wear off. Pretty potent shit, huh?”

“What is?” You finally manage to whisper. Your voice is hoarse and you realize that you haven’t properly used it since you woke up.

He shrugs, casting a lazy glance around the room. “Jin has the most powerful haze out of all of us. Don’t tell him I said this but I think it’s mostly just because he’s old. He’s spent forever perfecting it.”

“He doesn’t look old.”

“You should tell him that instead.”

You peer at him, eyes narrowed. “…Ok.”

He stares at you for a while, shifting to lean against the counter. You busy yourself with opening the box and retrieving a handful of the small crackers, munching thoughtfully as you consider the possible meanings of this new information. The most powerful ‘haze’.

“I do feel hazy.”

“Mm.”

That just about does it for you as far as thinking goes. Probably best to leave that train of thought for later. You’re less light headed than a few minutes ago, but whatever it is hasn’t left your system completely.

“Feeling better?”

You hum agreeably through a mouthful of starchy goodness. Well, not exactly ‘good’. These things probably have a ridiculous shelf life for a reason. Thinking on it they kind of taste like cardboard. You’re not even sure why you’re eating them. You’re not that hungry.

“Good girl.”

When you glance at him, lightning strikes down your spine and roots you in place, frozen. Bottom lip caught between his teeth, jaw set, eyes half-lidded and dark. Knuckles white from how hard he’s gripping the counter beneath him. Barely breathing, aside from an indulgent inhale he draws in as you stare. He’s looking at you like there’s nothing in the world he’d like better than to tear you apart and swallow the pieces whole. Something heavy settles between the two of you in the stillness, like a thick-pelted blanket. You half expect him to start stalking towards you with a face like that, and the very thought has your stomach coiling in anticipation. Disjointed memories from last night once again flash in your mind--those perfect teeth at your neck, those nimble fingers stroking at your panties. He sighs, shuddering, as your face threatens to flush.

“Fuck. This is impossible.” Jungkook whispers hoarsely. You’re inclined to agree, despite the fact that you still aren’t sure what exactly is going on.

“I should take you back to my room until Namjoon gets here.” He clears his throat, his gaze darting furtively away from you. He straightens and gestures to the crackers. “You should, uh. You should put those away first. Wouldn’t want you making a mess.”

 You nod, slowly, and begin to skirt around him, reaching upwards for the cupboard he’d retrieved them from. The entire time you’re only acutely aware that he hasn’t moved, the heat coming off of him so intense it makes the rest of the room feel cold by comparison. But the shelf is just that little bit too high, just a fingertip out of reach, despite your efforts. When you bounce on your heels to try and get maybe an extra inch or two, you hear him exhale and move. The light darkens and his hand slides into view just to your side, grasping the box. Your heartbeat kicks and restarts at the sensation of his breath tickling the back of your head, his chest almost touching your back. As his hand curls around the box, taking it from you, you automatically step backwards, pushing yourself into his body. His other hand rises as if to catch you, fingers clutching at your waist, but it stays there. Lingers there, while he settles the box back in its rightful place. His arm comes down to rest by your side again, and you can feel his head bow by the movement of his breath, now caressing the nape of your neck. He hums, whines, leaning forward to press you closer together, the countertop digging into your torso, the firm heat of his chest burning into your back.

“Should take you upstairs,” he mumbles. His lips brush, feather-soft, against your neck. You feel the hand on your waist squeeze, thumb rubbing back and forth. “For Namjoon.”

When you crane your head towards him, he lifts his own to meet your gaze over your shoulder. His eyes are so dark, already threatening to blow out from lust. His eyelashes flutter as he casts over your face, dropping to your lips. He sighs again, hand flexing on your waist, and leans forward. You copy him, neck twisting. And finally, your lips brush together. He kisses you so lightly, so gently. He’s barely touching you at all, but it’s enough to steal your breath. He captures your bottom lip, sucks on it, lets it go with a huff and a groan, and the kiss is over. You feel his warmth tear violently away as he quickly moves from you, forcing his hands back into his pockets and staggering back a few paces.

When you turn, he avoids your eyes.

“You need to go to the room,” he says, voice thick.

Jungkook stalks out of the kitchen, and you follow him. He doesn’t speak again until you get to your destination, and neither do you. You want to touch him again, want to hold his hand, curl your fingers in his hair. But following those desires you’ve got a deep intuition as though that is a terrible idea. So you don’t.

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[fangirling97]

TROS SPOILERS

I just want to know WHO? Who made the decisions for this movie. Was it J.J.? Chris Terrio? Kathleen Kennedy? Bob Iger? Who had the power here and who decided to take the most hopeful, beautiful story arc in the history of redemption arcs and end it with a very unsatisfying and disrespectful death?

It truly never seriously crossed my mind that Ben Solo would die in this film. I had faith in the creators to know that it would be the worst idea ever. Clearly I was wrong.

I’ve been doing my utmost to seek positivity. The fact is this movie has some of my favorite moments in the history of Star Wars. I genuinely fall in love with Ben Solo and the brilliant mannerisms and attitude he exudes every time I think about him. I thought I loved Kylo Ren...it’s nothing compared to Ben Solo.

The kiss is beautiful. Their faces kill me every time. I’ve never seen such pure joy and love like that.

The scene with Han and Ben genuinely makes me tear up every time I think about it and I full-on sobbed in the theater when I saw it. It’s everything I didn’t know I needed from this relationship and it only cements my love for these two characters deeper in my heart.

So much of this movie is even better than how I saw it in my head...so why do I feel physically ill when I think about it?

Ultimately I could forgive a whole lot. I can forgive the messy pacing. The lack of meaningful dialogue and the fact that we still have no idea how Palpatine is alive and that no one seems as concerned as they really should be...seriously, why is NO ONE like deeply shocked and concerned??

What I can’t forgive is the lack of respect to the characters and the previous movies.

Rey Palpatine: (I’ll get to Ben Solo, believe me) I remember hearing this theory ages ago and thinking well that’s never going to happen. Don’t I feel stupid? Well....no I don’t, cause really it never should have. Everyone has said it and I whole-heartedly agree that Rey Nobody is what we needed for this trilogy. Frankly, it makes me like her more that way. This story could have gone exactly the same way without her being related to the grossest and most evil man in the galaxy (please go listen to What the Force-Dark Union). There is literally no reason to make these characters related at all except to give Rey a family she has NO connection to at all. I’ve loved the way that each main character (Rey, Kylo/Ben, and Finn) have had to grapple with their personal histories and find a way to accept and move past them in this trilogy. Yet Rey doesn’t...at all. We are repeatedly told throughout this movie that you make your own family and that it doesn’t matter where you come from you are your own person...so WHY relate her (clumsily and without ANY foreshadowing or reasoning at all) to a truly despicable being that has no real effect on the person she is. It’s not unbelievable that every person has a fight between light and dark inside. They don’t have to be related to a villain to make sure we all get that.

Finn: I really don’t understand this character at all in this movie. Firstly, is there even an arc. I’ve seen it twice now and I really can’t see one. The only semi-interesting aspect is that he’s force-sensitive which I didn’t really want. Not because I don’t like Finn but he’s already an interesting and dynamic character without it. Finn being Force sensitive does not make him better in any meaningful way. If that’s really the direction you wanted to take him in then it should have at least been hinted at in TFA. And really? Really? We had to have the weird little secret through the whole movie? I honestly didn’t even notice that his force sensitivity may have been the thing he wanted to tell Rey through the movie (mostly because the movie is too busy for this tiny little piece). I don’t understand where the weird tension between Finn and Poe cane from and while I don’t mind the idea it felt like it came and went way too quickly and all the sudden it’s all grand cause the end battle is coming? And everyone has said it but I agree, I really think Rose made Finn a better character and apparently she’s just gone in this movie with NO addressing of their chemistry and romantic plot in TLJ...at all. It’s just weird and uncomfortable.

Luke: I have never been the biggest Luke fan but I was genuinely excited to see him in this movie. Though the Han scene is spectacular, I really wanted a little more from Luke and Ben. I really wanted Luke’s words in the first trailer to be to both Rey and Ben if not just to Ben himself. It felt important to have Ben face his uncle once again and be able to forgive (somewhat) and move on from that pain and betrayal. Instead, all Luke was used for was to call out Rian Johnson and deliver some very strange exposition that tbh I don’t even remember. The fact that our beloved hero’s scene in the final Skywalker movie is utterly unremarkable is a shame and I have to keep reminding myself it’s even in the movie. It doesn’t make sense for Luke and Leia to know Rey’s lineage and literally never say a word. Luke nearly killed Ben Solo for having darkness inside of him but Rey is the descendent of the most evil man in the galaxy (and a personal tormenter of the Skywalker family) and he just is totally cool with it...no.

Ben: This is really what hurts the most. I could forgive a lot (even Rey Palpatine though it will always be stupid) if Ben Solo had been able to live. The truth is I was enjoying the movie for the whole time until the moment when my favorite character of all time, the epitome of all that is Star Wars to me, died. Without any moment to mourn him. Stepping back, I can see the tragic beauty in this moment. He sacrificed himself to save the light and love of his life. And he’s happy to do it. He knows he can’t live without her. The problem is, Ben Solo has faced his tragedy already. Isn’t that the point? Isn’t that why he’s humanized so early in TFA. I have always loved Vader’s story and I do believe it was the right move to have him sacrifice himself for his son. But Vader was a monster and nothing more until the end of the RotJ. Kylo is nearly immediately humanized in making him the son of Leia and Han. In showing his face to the scavenger girl so quickly. Then pretty much the entirety of TLJ. It’s all showing his humanity. We should have all known (and many did) that redemption and the pull to the light is inevitable for Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was never going to make it out of this trilogy but I sure believed Ben Solo would. I am in awe with the performance of Adam Driver in the third act of this movie (well actually all of it, but you know what I mean). Ben is completely different from Kylo Ren in almost every aspect. So many people have complained that Ben never actually has dialogue outside of the very endearing “ow”. I’ll be honest it makes me so sad and I definitely wanted to see some from him but I didn’t actually notice the lack of words the first time because of how much Adam is able to convey with every movement and facial expression. I knew exactly who this character was and I have never loved a character so much in my life. In these moments you can see every pain, betrayal, and weight is lifted from him. Ben is finally free of his pain. And now he can be the man he was always meant to be and it is staggeringly beautiful. And then he is thrown into a pit. Not allowed to fight the being that has tortured his family for the entirety of the saga. And is killed without a moment to grieve for us or for the love of his life. And I can’t get over it. I can’t see the logic in it. What’s the point? What’s the message here? Life sucks and then you die? THATS NOT STAR WARS!!!! Star Wars has always been tragic but there is always hope! Look at RotS. That is the saddest movie in Star Wars (till now) and it ends with the twins carrying the hope of the galaxy and their mother. Uncle Lars and Aunt Beru look into the sunset with hope as Obi Wan looks on knowing that if anyone can save the galaxy it’s going to be Luke Skywalker. Even if Obi Wan doesn’t believe that Anakin can be saved Luke is still worth everything to keep safe. In ESB Han Solo is frozen in carbonate, Luke is the son of the monstrous Vader, and the Empire is winning. Yet in the end Luke and Leia stand side-by-side, determined to make it all better. There is always hope in Star Wars yet I am left utterly hopeless by this movie. The only thing keeping me afloat is the idea that Ben Solo May live on due to the fact that we don’t see him at all in the end of HIS FAMILYS SAGA! (More on that in a moment). For the last four years Kylo Ren/Ben Solo has represented potential and hope. And now he’s dead. I can’t get over that. I hope Lucasfilm and Disney understand what he means to us and finds a way to bring him back. I don’t know what Adam Diver believed he was going to be completing but I can’t imagine this was the way it was supposed to be. Not when he loves this character as much as we do.

The Skywalkers: this is mostly a continuation but I had some specific things I wanted to address here. This is the Skywalker saga. I can say without a doubt this is my favorite fictional family ever. I love the drama and the angst and the importance they hold. I have never doubted that the sequel trilogy would hold up to that because Ben Solo (Skywalker) existed. Yet they are completely sidelined in this movie. I love Rey so so much but to introduce the idea of a Force Dyad with ultimate power in the Force and the to throw the Skywalker half off a cliff so that the two Palpatines can duke it out for the fate of the Skywalker Saga is just awful. I truly believe that Ben should have killed Palpatine (to stop Rey from being possessed by her creepy grandpa) and to be able to complete Anakins story. We even learn that Palpatine has haunted Ben in the same way he’s haunted Anakin (which is totally glossed over by the way, cause why is that important, right?) and yet Ben does nothing against Palpatine in the final fight. How does this make sense? I said all along I wanted an Anakin cameo in this movie and I was truly happy to hear Hayden’s voice in this movie but if Ben and Rey are dyads and representations of balance in the Force then why is she the Jedi that needs to rise? Shouldn’t they BOTH be that? The fact that this movie ends with no living Skywalkers is just bad and it hurts. I cannot understand the need for the Skywalker line to end just cause the saga is ending. Let Ben Solo and Rey have babies for goodness sake! And to be honest I don’t feel any emotion except disappointment and frustration at the whole Rey Skywalker line. She’s not a Skywalker, or if she is then she shouldn’t be alone. Loneliness has never been good in Star Wars. And yeah Luke and Leia show up as Force ghosts but that’s not real companionship and neither is BB-8. Rey is not meant to be alone and neither is Ben. Or do the most touching lines in TLJ mean absolutely nothing at this point. Now I can only hold on to Luke’s line, “no one is ever really gone.”

This ended up way longer than I meant it to but turns out I needed to get some of my feelings out. I’m frustrated at my inability to feel satisfied by all of the truly wonderful moments in this movie (Reylo is real and Ben is here once again). There are so many other things I thought too. Why does Rey decide to go into exile on Ach-To when she spent the whole last movie explaining why it doesn’t work to Luke? (Well it’s cause obviously TLJ isn’t important, that’s why everything was retconned,right? Except JJ said he didn’t do that...weird.) Why is it that Rey showed the Resistance how to get to Exegol when I personally think it would have been cooler and more meaningful to have the signal coming from a rogue tie fighter flown by Ben Solo? (Think about it. Han tells Ben to help the thing his mother lived for, the Resistance, he knows how to get there and it would have been a far more interesting moment then just having Finn tell us all what Rey means when we kinda figured it out for ourselves, thanks). Why didn’t Ben fly the Falcon at all in total acceptance of his true identity?

But ultimately these are the most important things I felt coming out of TROS. I fully expected this movie to be my favorite of the trilogy if not my favorite of them all. I’ve always like the Star Wars finales the most. RotS is my favorite of all of the SW movies with RotJ close behind. Really though, this isn’t a Star Wars finale it’s just dressed up as one. I hope there will be more things to come and I look forward to the future of Star Wars (with binary sunsets in the middle distance, of course). And I hope this isn’t really the end of Ben Solo, my hero.

Now to catch up on Clone Wars because Star Wars is where I go when I’m feeling down. Even if I’m feeling down about Star Wars.

[swshadowcouncil]

It’s pretty ironic in retrospect that when the Sequel Trilogy began, there was a large pushback from racists and bigots that a black man and a woman couldn’t be the protagonists in the newest trilogy of Star Wars movies. People were honestly trying to boycott it because a white guy wasn’t the protagonist.

Now years later, the trilogy has come almost full circle with people refusing to see Finn as the co-protagonist of the ST or John Boyega as the male lead. I mean, if we want to look at it deeply enough, some people don’t even think Rey is the true protagonist, but Kylo is. It’s rather funny, in a sad way with the lack of self-awareness, that there are so many fans of the ST (Sequel Trilogy) that have forgotten, or don’t know, that originally there was a giant pushback for these heroes not to be the protagonists, yet years later, fans are echoing the intent of these people without realizing it. Finn has been sadly the biggest victim of this ironic mess. From being one of the central characters in all of the marketing, merchandise, advertising, and basically present and in full view of everything ST related, to slowly being forcibly pushed way into the back and made small enough on posters, merchandise, and media coverage at times that you actually need to zoom in or hunt down a trusty magnifying glass to find him.

The problem has extended from the #boycottstarwarsvii movement on social media in response to Boyega’s casting in 2014, to Lucasfilm (LFL) allowing multiple artworks to be created with Finn excluded, placed in the back, or smaller than the supporting characters, to the EU stories where he is sidelined, depicted as a joke, or generally just treated in a way that would make any sane black person, or person in general, go “Yikes!”. This isn’t an easy conversation to have, nor is it something many people even know how to approach, but from the perception of many fans, especially black fans and other fans of color, this comes across as pretty racist at best. So, without further delay, let us begin.

#BoycottStarWarsVII

Friendly reminder, when people bash the idea of Finn being Force Sensitive, you make this guy smile.

Yeah, I’m not going to sugarcoat this, John being cast as Finn, the male lead/protagonist, alongside Daisy’s Rey, the female lead/protagonist, was met with a LOT of backlash. For those who don’t remember, or just weren’t following the TFA like a lunatic like other losers (me), there was a hashtag going around, #BoycottStarWarsVII, which if you couldn’t tell from the title, was for the boycott of TFA. The main reason for this all circles back to John Boyega being the lead that had many bigoted racists in their feelings (translation: mad).

How bad was it? Well, let me just show you:

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These are the ones I can actually post. The others I have kept/found I won’t be posting due to the content in them being beyond disgusting. This was all over the place. Racists were rejecting the idea of a black male lead in Star Wars tooth and nail to the point of demanding people to boycott the newest movie.

So, how did the boycott go?

If you look closely, you can see Bob Iger’s tears of joy next to the dollar signs

Yeah, it failed on every level imaginable!

Something interesting about it though was that while some people were speaking up about the racist treatment that had been thrown at Finn:

You’re a good man, Trevor Noah. Thank you.

Others had remained silent on it completely. There was an odd amount of radio silence on how the public was treating Finn and his actor John Boyega, and looking back on it now, when there is still a great amount of pushback against the character and actor, I can’t help but feel that silence was a choice, rather than ignorance. Which brings me to the main topic of this very article:

#WhereIsFinn?

The #WhereIsFinn movement was created by fans of the character who started to notice something…odd. Now, I can’t actually pinpoint the first moment Finn’s erasure had started, but I do remember the most prominent and famous one that many in the community still remember to this day, and that was the Chinese Poster for The Force Awakens.

Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again

Oh, this kriffing poster! Years later and my blood still boils like Anakin’s did on Mustafar! Now, I’m not pointing any fingers at any one individual at Lucasfilm, yet I highly doubt that if Rey was made smaller than a BB-8, or if Kylo was taken off of the poster, whoever said yes to this would have had the same response. Finn was made significantly smaller on the official Chinese poster for TFA. Now, for those reading this who don’t know, racism against black people isn’t just an American thing, I know, surprising, right? It’s something that happens everywhere, and movies with a black lead don’t usually do well overseas. So, someone made Finn smaller, and it somehow slipped through the cracks. A one-time thing though, right? It was a mistake and it’d never happen again. Lucasfilm would never try to make the co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy smaller or treat him with disrespect…right?

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Well, I guess that’s one way to avoid the Chinese poster situation. Just make him small by default

Rian, turn on your location. I just want to talk.

Johnson…just…why?

The longer you look at this image, the more you likely will want to die inside.

Don’t worry, guys. We got rid of the black character for now!

I’m like 85% sure the Nines (TR-8R) is making these with Phasma.

Well this is just erase. Not much to say about it. Finn’s not even here, I guess he wasn’t in TFA or TLJ.

I don’t know if making Finn smaller than Poe, and shoving him behind Chewie, is an accurate depiction of who were the protagonists of TFA

Just…why is it always Finn?

No, for those of you wondering, Finn isn’t allowed to even win the fight. BB-8 does and Poe lectures Finn.

Okay, why is Poe constantly being made bigger than Finn? Would this be approved if he was made bigger than Rey? Did someone sell their soul to Papa Palptine?

It sounds petty, but notice Rey and Kylo aren’t being made small, Poe, who’s not the co-protagonist, is made fairy decent sized, but Finn again is placed behind him and smaller.

Yeah, it’s been a LONG few years

Some of this is official artwork, some of these are posters, others are book covers, the backwards tux is how Rian Johnson thought Finn couldn’t dress himself, the leaky bacta suit was included in the film, etc.  These are far from the only times Finn has been made small or been made a fool of since post-TFA Star Wars, but I wanted to give some type of understanding to what’s going on. Now, I know some people may be wondering: “Well he’s there. What’s the big deal?”

Well, to understand what it’s a big deal, you have to understand how Finn originally was marketed and depicted.

  Regardless of your views on if Finn is Force Sensitive or not–which, if you’re doubtful, let me shamelessly plug another article I wrote about there being two awakenings in TFA (click here)–Finn was always presented as the male lead of the ST: heroic, brave, and important to the story. The idea of him being just as important to the ST as Rey, or the antagonist Kylo, wasn’t something that people scoffed at, which is a stark contrast to how things are going now.

Through these last few years, there has been a trend of individuals trying to remove Finn’s importance from Star Wars, whether it be by depicting him as smaller than characters he’s narratively bigger than, leaving him off of posters and artwork, depicted him as a joke in various forms of media like comics or books, or even just cropping him out of pictures completely. There are even attempts to make him seem less important on Wookieepedia or TvTropes.com, and it’s having a domino effect with how the powers that be see the character. Disney and Lucasfilm are businesses at the end of the day, and like any business, they do what’s best for them first and foremost. If certain fans and media go out of their way to erase, sideline, or mock Finn, then Disney and Lucasfilm will not try to course correct it, but rather let it continue or make less content for the character. Then fans of the character get less interested in content regarding Finn, and the cycle continues.

At first, many didn’t think much of it, yet as time went on, the number of instances that it seemed people were going out of their way to depict Finn as a supporting character or sidekick were starting to pile up. Its honestly become a trend now that if new content is coming out that has to do with the sequel trilogy era, you might as well play bingo for one of the ways Finn will be depicted.

We have him pushed to the back, looking like a supporting character/sidekick:

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Finn is once again in the back, with lighter skin for some reason???

Finn once again is made smaller and has lighter skin…okay

How are there 3 different versions of this cover and Poe’s head is still orbiting Tatootine while Finn is smaller than Darth Vader’s will to live?

Is Phasma the one green lighting these? Is she still mad?! She’s probably alive! Nobody is ever really gone, remember! Maul does!

If that’s not your flavor, then we have The Rise of Skywalker media coverage, which consists of basically Rey and Kylo, with article writers that seem to forget everything about the last two movies and can’t remember that they’re not on Archive of Our Own anymore.

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The Journey to Rise of Skywalker really isn’t doing too hot for anything Finn related, if you couldn’t tell by the giant orbiting space station that is Poe’s head on the cover for Resistance Reborn. In Spark of the Resistance, Finn isn’t even in the book, sent off on some subplot with Chewie that likely we’ll never hear from again. Maybe he went back to Canto Bight to free the slave children instead of the horses. Side note, whose idea was it to have the former slave child of two decades (Finn) not even comment on the slave children at Canto Bight? Oh…yeah, never mind. There’s also Resistance Reborn, which is again more about Poe than anyone. There’s even a scene where Poe has to tie Finn’s tie because he doesn’t know how to do it, and so many people are now flashing back to the backwards tux.

At this point, I can already hear that person who always appears in discussions about Finn saying “Who cares? He’s just a supporting character who was a janitor. John isn’t the male lead”

First of all, go jump into a Sarlacc pit!

Second, let’s talk facts:

Huh, Finn sure does have a LOT of screen time for someone that doesn’t matter. Oh, well. Maybe, he was there for moral support.

As of both TFA and TLJ, Finn comes in 2nd to only Rey, while having 15 more mins of screen time than Kylo. In fact, in two movies, Finn has more screen time than Han or Leia had in their first two OT movies. Hell, Finn almost has as much as Obi-Wan did in his first two PT movies and Finn lost around 16 mins of screentime because he had the most deleted scenes out of TLJ. 7 deleted scenes if you’re curious. No, I don’t know why, beyond the fact that one of them had more Canto Bight in it, and yeah, that one should have been cut.

See, that’s the funny thing I’ve never understood about people saying that Kylo is the real co-protagonist and male lead, or that Poe is bigger narratively than Finn. Finn still has more screen time than Kylo in both TFA and TLJ and Poe isn’t even in the same league as Finn’s screen time in either of his two film appearances.

Further, John’s Finn represents something not seen in the Star Wars franchise ever before – the first and only black lead of any Star Wars movie let alone trilogy. Lando and Mace Windu didn’t exceed 10min of screen time in any of their films, and Ahmed Best’s Jar Jar in The Phantom Menace was severely reduced and nearly erased following the toxic backlash that drove the actor to contemplate suicide. And while James Earl Jones’ voice of Darth Vader is a timeless and iconic addition of black voice acting to the Star Wars franchise, Finn, and Finn alone, represents something more as a leading face of the concluding arc to arguably the most successful episodic series in cinematic history.

The real problem here is that there are people in the Star Wars community that just don’t want Finn to be the co-protagonist, the irony of which is amazing since it’s just the TFA boycott all over again. For every time someone says that Finn is the co-protagonist of the ST, there will be someone there to comment that he’s not. Kylo is, or in fact, Kylo is the SOLE protagonist of the ST and Rey is below him. So the irony that originally racists and sexists were boycotting the ST because they didn’t want to have a woman and a black man as the protagonists, have now turned into “fans” in general claiming that the true protagonist of the entire sequel trilogy is Kylo, the white guy.

Ironic indeed, papa Palpatine

Now, people putting Kylo above Finn isn’t the only cause of Finn’s erasure. As you can tell above or in recent merch or artwork, Poe is being depicted in front of Finn, bigger than him, more heroic, etc. Now, there is no problem with Poe getting more of a spotlight. But when every single thing that comes out is constantly depicting Poe, a character who is at best a supporting role that was upgraded to the status of one of the main characters in TLJ, as bigger and narratively more important than Finn, who dominated the marketing for TFA and still has more narrative presence in the trilogy than Poe, it comes off as colorism at worst and biased favoritism at best from LFL. Recently there’s been a drought of actual Finn content that treats the character with respect or even content at all with him in it at all. Meanwhile, the EU for the ST is practically filled with Poe to the point of arguably oversaturation for some. Now, I like Poe and I like Oscar, and maybe others can’t see it because they’re not used to colorism, but as a black man myself (Kenyan-Brazilian to be exact), I’d be lying if I said that elevating a white-passing Latino man of color like Oscar’s Poe while slowly erasing a darker-skinned Black man like John’s Finn doesn’t look like clear colorism on LFL’s part from the perspective of many black fans. For black fans, it seems like there is a constant battle to remind people of Finn’s status in the trilogy while everyone is trying to put Kylo and Poe above him.

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Since 2016 when Finn’s erasure started to take place, people on social media have been trying to bring attention to this problem, yet they’ve been met with others in the fandom ignoring them, or suddenly saying it doesn’t matter and changing the topic. In fact, recently, while even more people have been trying to bring attention to #WhereIsFinn, the #WhereisRose tag was created. Not only was it picked up by Nerdist, but major social media accounts agreed there was a problem with how Rose (who, mind you, is a supporting character) wasn’t on the initial merch, but were silent about the co-protagonist being shoved in the back behind Poe, made smaller, or not being present in the marketing in the same levels he was at the start.

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I’m not knocking you for trying, Nerdiest, but it’d help if you also talked about #WhereIsFinn that has been going on since 2016.

It’s actually ironic that OP has never touched on Finn’s erase or his placement in the back…

The thing about #WhereIsRose is not that it’s a bad thing to bring attention to the fact that Rose isn’t in the TROS marketing or merch, it’s the fact that these same people who are fighting for what they feel is an injustice, are totally ignoring the blatant racism and erasure of what’s going on with Finn. The difference is, some of these people aren’t even overtly racist, but they are against the idea of Finn being the co-protagonist. So this erasure of him isn’t seen as a bad thing, it’s seen as what should be. For instance, there is a vocal shipping community in the Star Wars fandom that has ironically been echoing many of the same things that the bigots did when the ST began. Only instead of the bigots who said “Finn shouldn’t be,” you have shippers saying “Finn isn’t” whenever it is said that Finn is the co-protagonist, or the male lead, etc, etc.

Another puzzling aspect of #WhereIsRose, is that if the objective co-lead of the trilogy is getting sidelined, or artistically segregated into tiny portrayals with the other black characters, what hope is there to give a supporting POC character proper justice and representation? In fact, we’ve seen the result of successfully gaining attention for #WhereIsRose without any thought or consideration for #WhereIsFinn.

Take for instance this The Rise of Skywalker art (below), which segregated the black characters to be much smaller than Poe, and left out Rose. After the artist acknowledged #WhereIsRose backlash, the artist then added in Rose, placing her in front of the other black characters. In doing so, the art now further segregates and minimizes the black characters behind Rose and under Poe. The artist has yet to acknowledge the #WhereisFinn trend pointing out the artistic segregation even though they were quick to acknowledge the #WhereisRose trend AND act upon it.

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Approving artistic representation such as that above spells out an extremely negative portrayal of ALL black characters, since not a single one of them could break a bigger feature than Poe – a secondary supporting character. Regardless of the artist’s intent, and without their responding to or acknowledging the #WhereIsFinn trend – it sends a message of favoritism and apathy at best, and accurately portrays colorism and anti-blackness at worst.

You see, that is in of itself is part of the reason why #WhereIsFinn even exists. Finn’s erasure is coming from all sides at this point, and only certain fans even care about it or recognize it, most of them being fans of color who are openly getting ignored or mocked. I’m not saying it has to be #WhereIsFinn vs #WhereIsRose, but if you think the lack of Rose merch is a problem and gives a voice to the racists and sexists, and see ZERO problems with Finn’s erasure and sidelining over the last few years, then there is a severe problem with how you are seeing the world and its problems with race. No, it is not right for a black man to be the co-protagonist, be on equal footing with two other white characters, then years later be placed in the back of everything or not even shown at all. There is a problem with this and people need to see it. No one is saying that we shouldn’t ask about Rose, regardless of if she is a supporting character or not, but all we are asking, and by we, I’m now referring to myself and many black fans at this moment, is that the same type of energy be used to help defend Finn and John Boyega from the racist treatment that has been going on since 2014.

People stood up for Rey, people are standing up for Rose, yet whenever it is time to stand up for Finn, no one does a damn thing. All many fans of Finn are asking for is that the same effort people give in fighting sexism or racism against other characters, they do the same for Finn.

But to be the devil’s advocate, for once in this argument, let me tackle why #WhereIsFinn isn’t picking up the same coverage that #WhereIsRey did get and #WhereIsRose is now picking up.

People. ARE. TIRED.

There is nothing more disheartening for a black fan, or a fan of Finn in general, who really wants good content for the character, than to be met with a comic that projects the negative attitudes that the fandom has for Finn by calling him a janitor in the description or having him scream “fear my mop!” while dirty water drips on his shoulder as Kylo stares him down. Regardless of Canon already debunking multiple times that Finn wasn’t just not a janitor, but rather one of the best cadets that the stormtrooper program ever had, seeing Finn depicted as a joke or a sidekick just makes fans and non-fans of the character not want to even consume his content. No one wants to see their heroes constantly made to look bad, and that’s something parts of the community and LFL do at times, which has a domino effect on how people absorb Finn content.

The second reason, that is in relation to everything we’ve talked about, is that Finn barely gets good, solo content made for him at all. There aren’t even many people championing for the character to be seen anymore because of the fact that all attempts to bring awareness to this problem, have fallen on deaf ears. There isn’t an “FN-2187 comic series or novel” that is used to flesh out Finn’s life and suffering when he was in the First Order while providing world-building for the FO and its characters. There isn’t a “Finn’s journal” that helps dive into the character’s inner POV and feelings throughout his adventure. In contrast, there has been a decent amount of solo content for Rose, Rey, Poe, and as of recently, Kylo, yet we still have nothing for standalone for Finn that’s detailed and personable.

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The comics that come out give fans of the other characters have moments like this:

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As Finn was being lectured by Poe, the fandom cheered because it looked like Poe was in a Jedi Robe.

A Rey comic that explores her abandonment issues before leaving to find Luke’s fish nun island

This one IS a Kylo comic, where he’s doing backflips and screaming ‘Your God is dead”.

Hux’s comic, that dives into some of his past trauma and his nightmarish adventure with Kylo “I haven’t showered in a month” Ren

Poe doing his best Captain Kirk impression as he dressed like Spock

And Rose and Paige remembering their sad childhood

Snoke’s comic that is basically a Kylo comic featuring Snoke

Phasma just being Phasma

Rey kicking names and taking ass

General Princess Space Mom and Rose. No jokes here. Move along.

While what little Finn fans get looks like this:

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First image of we see of a comic featuring Finn, is him getting wrecked by some steroid using alien. Spoiler alert, he doesn’t win the fight and he’s lectured after. Yay!

After years of trying to make it clear Finn wasn’t a janitor by citing Lucasfilm’s own canon, Finn’s comic description calls him a janitor, shows a preview of him playing with a mop he doesn’t know how to use. Why? Who the kriff knows

It’s rather hard for people to feel anything but disappointment for this character they cared about because of how he’s been handled, and that disappointment is having a negative effect on how everyone in the community, media, and even Lucasfilm treats Finn.

This character means something to people:

This character is an inspiration to many black fans, not just because he’s the lead in one of the biggest franchises in all of cinema, but because he’s someone who was oppressed by a system that enslaved him and chose to be better, to do the right thing, and stand up for what’s right, regardless of what the cost of it was to him. Seeing so many people at LFL, in the Star Wars community, and in the media not only refuse to treat the character with any respect, but also act like he deserves disrespect, is heartbreaking to many many fans of Finn who relate to the character, regardless of their skin color, age, or gender.

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It doesn’t matter what you are in this world. We all want the same thing in life, and that’s to feel like we belong. This article isn’t being written to target anyone, it’s not being written to start any fandom drama. The reason this article exists is that there are a lot of fans not getting their voices heard when it comes to trying to fight for Finn, and we want to give that voice a platform. We want people to hear them because this message is important. FINN. IS. IMPORTANT. He’s important for reasons of representation, he’s important to people who want to believe they can change their life for the better, and he’s important to the story of this trilogy. All we’re asking, all anyone is asking, is for him to get the treatment he deserves from the media, community, and LFL. That is why people are asking where is Finn.

  “Finn could not simply be a sidekick or key ally in the story; he needed a story arc of his own. For the first time, The Force Awakens offered a Star Wars film in which two characters, not only one, are undertaking the Hero’s Journey.”

“Each of these archetypes appears in the Hero’s Journeys of Rey and Finn – but not always in the same way or with the same character in the respective storylines. This makes The Force Awakens an interesting study in the use of archetypes.The Hero, of course, is the central protagonist of the journey. In Rey’s adventure, she is the Hero; in Finn’s adventure, he bears that mantle and Rey fills a different archetype.” – Tricia Barr

Thank you for reading, and may the force be with you…Always.

Where is Finn?: The Erasure and Sidelining of a Star Wars Protagonist #StarWars #WhereIsFinn #WheresFinn It's pretty ironic in retrospect that when the Sequel Trilogy began, there was a large pushback from racists and bigots that a black man and a woman couldn't be the protagonists in the newest trilogy of Star Wars movies.