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andrewmoocow · 4 years ago

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Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 4: The Deadpool and Peridot Show (originally posted on August 29, 2020)

AN: Welcome back to The Fantastic Mutants everyone. This is a very special chapter because here I have a co-writer, whether I like it or not.

Surprise everyone, it's me Deadpool! Since this kid refuses to get his writing done quickly, I've taken it upon myself to "help" him out since no one can understand me better than me. Now then, back to my cohost here.

Yes, Deadpool of all people has decided to help me. Though I'd rather do all of this myself without any distractions.

Kinda like how this author's note is distracting us from the actual main event! Now let's just get this rolling already!

We begin on a talk show set in a blank white space, inhabited solely by a drop-dead handsome mercenary dressed in a beautiful shade of red with hints of black that was currently tearing it apart for no good reason. You know him, you love him, it's the sexiest anti-hero to have ever graced this dying industry, Deadpool.

"Thank you, thank you all!" yours truly bowed for an unseen audience as he finished tearing the set apart. "Now if all y'all have been lying under a rock since like, I don't know, '91, I am known as Wade Winston Wilson. I was created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Niecieza for The New Mutants #98 in February 199-"

"Wade, I believe everyone knows who you are already." My white thinky-box, represented by a bold underline, cut me off. "You're already an Internet legend and of course, there's Ryan Reynolds."

"Can we just can the prologue already?" my yellow thinky-box, also represented by underlining but this time it was in italics. "There's gotta be people coming here solely for us who don't know what's going on."

"Okay wiseguys, you asked for it." the man who looked like a cross between Ryan Reynolds and a Shar-Pei underneath that creepily adorable mask replied. "So in case you guys are just joining us, this is a crossover with the modern classic with some of the most psycho fans in the Internet, Steven Universe." I explained. "Last chapter, our smol sunshine baby of a protagonist was kidnapped by the Master of Magnetism Magneto for some most likely evil science experiment by our favorite evil dictator with a superiority complex to compliment his tiny dick, Doctor Doom. In response, the Crystal Gems have decided that they need more hands on deck, and more characters than this story already needs."

"What does he want this to be, the DC Extended Universe?"

"I'd watch that mouth if I were you buddy." I called the dialogue box out. "Our author here has had experiences with those fans. If that Englishman can think he's free to call MCU fans Marvel Zombies, than he's free to have his own opinion. But someone that fanatical deserves to be called something similar, like a DCheep! Get it, because he's a sheep!"

"Can we please move on? This recap has already taken up two pages and I got real-life things to do." The author begged Wade.

"Okay, okay! Let's get this started already, keep your pants on!" the masked macho-man declared, marching off stage in an alluring fashion. "Cue scenery!"

Not too far from Westchester County, there was a shitty apartment where dwelled the hideously scarred human mutate, Wade Wilson. He was out like a light after the badass battle to the death he totally had last night, no joke. Not even a chimichanga could wake him up, and he didn't care that much for them. Yeah, no joke.

"Come on you sack 'a crap, wake up!" his blind, black, elderly roommate Blind Al groaned while fishing Wade out of bed with a snow shovel. "How much off-screen carnage puts you this much to sleep?"

"Enough for readers to get a glimpse of what I do in my spare time." Deadpool declared as he woke up, looking like he had a fantastic night's sleep. "Morning Al, off to do a crossover, see ya later!" he hurriedly greeted the old woman before leaving his room.

"Should I tell him he's not wearing pants?" Al muttered to herself. "Naw, he'll figure it out himself."

And figure it out he did. Immediately after that scene, Deadpool was wandering around the street fully clothed and ready to get this chapter over with.

"So, can we have our co-stars please show themselves?"

The author complied by dropping Connie, Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, Bismuth and Nephrite into the scene. "Wait, how did we get here?" Peridot wondered aloud. "And who are you?"

"Ooh, I get to hang with everyone's favorite character!" Deadpool cheered. "I've been writing up jokes about the fans I've been wanting to say for quite a while." He added to the readers while searching his hammerspace for cue cards. "Let me see, Molotov cocktail, big-ass cartoon bomb, reminder to sue Marvel & Capcom for leaving me out of Infinite, God knows how many machine guns."

"Uh, while you're looking for whatever it is you want, let me introduce myself." Connie introduced herself. "My name is Connie, pleased to meet you."

"Hey, can you put your cue-card search on hold and say hi to the kid?"

"Ah, here they are!" Deadpool declared as he fished a series of flashcards from seemingly his butt. "Been wanting to do this for ages." He said before clearing his throat, and he began to read off of them.

"Here are some complaints I have heard about Steven Universe. Complaint #1: literally no one can stay on-model because storyboarding is the devil. Complaint #2: Rebecca Sugar is a total butchphobic abuse supporter because she treats Jasper like crap and lets Lapis off the hook despite the fact that she's even worse."

"Please note that these are clearly not the opinions of the author. He's just been around Tumblr a lot and knows just how these so-called 'fans' think."

"Who said that?" Bismuth wondered aloud. "Oh hey, Bismuth!" Wade exclaimed as he just took notice of her. "That reminds me, Complaint #3: Making Bismuth an antagonist in any way, shape or form is racist because all minorities are pretty little angels than must be defended at all costs despite the facts that we're all human beings who have the potential to be complete balls to the wall sociopathic!"

"Okay, now you're just being used as a mouthpiece for the author. Hey buddy, can you stop him by introducing your version of the X-Force?!"

As a way to shut him up, the writer dropped the X-Force into the current scene on top of Deadpool. Their members, aside from Wilson, consisted of big names like Cable, Domino, Bob & Psylocke, to those who are only familiar to movie-watchers like Copycat, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Yukio, Bedlam & Shatterstar, and even Outlaw & Fantomex!

"How did we get here?" Cable asked the other black-ops mutants as he got up. "Oh hey Natey, knew you'd come along sooner or later!" Wade greeted his cybernetic compadre. "I was just getting myself introduced to these characters that we'll be paired up with for this crossover."

"Hi, I'm Bob, Wade's best friend!" the HYDRA agent Bob cheerfully introduced himself. "Name's Domino." Neena Thurman responded.

"A pleasure to meet you, dearest jeune fille bleue." Fantomex greeted Lapis in a gentlemanly fashion. "You may call me Fantomex. "

"Charmed." Lapis replied.

"Wow, everyone wants Lapis! First Fandral, and now Fanto."

"Can you blame her? She's the writer's fave and top SU waifu! Favoritism much?"

"Name's Negasonic Teenage Warhead." Ellie Phimster introduced herself. "This here is Yukio." She added gesturing to a Japanese girl with pink hair and a big smile. "Hi there!"

"I'm Wade's girlfriend Vanessa, though a lot of people call me Copycat since that's my power." Vanessa stated. "Yeah, totally original."

"Call me Bedlam." Bedlam stated. "And this here is Shatterstar. Unlike the rest of us, he's an alien from the Mojoverse."

"And finally, these are Outlaw and Psylocke." Shatterstar gestured to the cowgirl and the ninja in the one piece. "Nice to meet ya." Inez Temple greeted. "Indeed." Betsy Braddock added.

"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Deadpool asked Connie. "Don't give too much away, cause I already got a basic knowledge of what happened last chapter."

"Chapter?" Connie tilted her head in confusion. "Steven was kidnapped only an hour ago! What do you think this is, some kind of story?"

"You'd be surprised Girl-Who-Wasn't-Actually-Dressed-As-Gohan-In-That-One-Episode." The Merc with a Mouth grinned underneath his mask. Before anyone could move on however, a stereotypical overweight nerd who looks like he doesn't get out much wheeled in on an automated scooter with a plate of brownies in front of him. "And you are?"

"I am simply an SU Critical that wants to congratulate you for making my voice heard." The nerd congratulated Deadpool. "As a way of saying thanks, have some brownies."

"I get it! Deadpool won some brownie points!"

"Don't explain the joke dumbass. The punchline should be coming up now."

As Wade snacked on the brownies, he came to realize something was wrong with them. "Hey wait a second. Yo, stereotype! Why do these brownies taste like literal dogshit?!"

"That's my secret ingredient!" the nerd revealed, much to Wade's disgust and he angrily tossed the brownies on the ground. "It's to symbolize how I believe Steven Universe has gone bad ever since the barn arc ended since absolutely nothing can compare to the amazing character development Peridot got!"

"Oh, it's so nice to see someone notice my splendidness!" Peridot blushed as she felt humbled by the nerd. "Of course, then they had to devolve her into a mindless comic relief who only-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MINDLESS COMIC RELIEF YOU CLOD?!" the small Gem shrieked furiously before she pounced on the basement dweller and began choking him. "I'll teach you to talk back to me immediately after giving my praises you hypocrite!"

As Peridot continued assaulting the nerd, everyone else watched in either shock, bemusement or in Deadpool's case, pride. "I think I want to be her new bestest friend already."

"But I thought we were friends!" Bob weeped sadly while Bedlam gave him a comforting pat on the head.

"And now it's time for a cutaway gag!"

"Cutaway gags? You gotta be kidding me, we're not Family Guy!"

"Just let the writer do his thing man, it's his imagination!"

"Come on Willy, I know you can do it!" a child version of Deadpool called to a whale in a scene that is clearly a reference to a certain all-time classic "Boy and his non-human friend" story. However just as Willy finally leaped over the rock Wade was standing on, he was immediately harpooned in midair and dragged towards a pirate ship manned by Captain Ahab. "Hey, wrong whale story Habbo Hotel!"

"After so many years of searching, that accursed whale is now mine to profit off!" Ahab and his crew celebrated their capture. "I'm talking sequels and an animated series to start, but the sky's the limit!"

"This ain't the last you'll see of me Old Thunder!" Wade cursed the sea captain as he made off with his prize. "I'll bring that whale home, just you wait!"

"Okay, that's a pretty unique idea for a gag. But seriously, back to the show."

"So, we're here because Magneto has kidnapped Steven with a bunch of Sentinels." Connie recapped to Deadpool while they were out and about in the city. "Now that you know what we're doing, can you tell us what you do?"

"I'm glad you asked Connie." Deadpool declared. "Allow me to explain the only way you Steven Universe characters probably know how. IN SONG!"

"Wait, a musical number, in a fanfiction?! Seriously?!"

"Hey shut it, this is gonna be good!"

"Lights please." Wade announced, shutting off the lights with a snap of his fingers, and turning them back on with another snap. He was now dressed as an Elvis impersonator with Cable, Domino, Bob and Copycat as his band. "What song do you plan on playing?" Vanessa asked her boyfriend.

"Just watch and listen." Wade responded, and began playing a parody of a classic movie song. "Here I go!" he started singing while Cable provided backup on the drums. "Woo! Ah-ha, ah-ha, let me show you what I work with!"

"Well Gambit was in league with a bunch of thieves, Cyclops has almost two thousand tales!" For his first act of insanity, the Regenerating Degenerate made about fifty longboxes filled with comics appear for Peridot & Lapis to rifle through. As soon as they discovered one with Wade fighting a vampire bat creature on the cover titled "Deadpool: The Gauntlet," the Deadpool on the cover continued the song.

"Well my friends, you're in luck cause up your sleeves, you got a kind of guy that never fails!" After Deadpool emerged from the issue Peridot was holding, he shot down various villains emerging from the other comics while singing.

"You got a real badass in your corner now, a real Wolverine type in your camp!" he then demonstrated by transforming his face into that of Logan's and then back again before letting bullets rain from above. "He can shoot, kablam! Bullets galore, all you gotta do is say my name!" Wade crooned. "And I'll say: 'Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?'"

As he sat the Gems down on a beach blanket, Deadpool then assumed pirate attire and set a heavy treasure chest on the ground. "Just give me a guy and I'll shoot him down, you ain't had a mercenary like me!"

Peridot began to excitedly open the chest while Lapis rolled her eyes. "Life's like a treasure chest," Wade's disembodied voice continued. When the treasure box was opened, the mercenary exploded out of it and made gold fly everywhere. "AND I'M GONNA BE YOUR KEY!"

Unlike her smaller partner, Lapis was still not amused. "C'mon, whisper to me what you want," Wade kept crooning, followed by splitting himself into four smaller Deadpools. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!"

"Contractors pride ourselves on service." One of the mini-Wades stated, and then they merged into the prime Wilson while spawning a lavish couch for his two guests. "You girls the hoss, the queens, the Shah! No matter what you wish, I'll be your bitch! How 'bout a few chimichangas?"

"Have some of Sample A, try all of Sample B!" Following the chimichanga rain, Peridot and Lapis were handed free samples at a supermarket before they found themselves on a velvet pillow held by Wade. "Anytime, any day, I'll help you babes. You ain't had a mercenary like me!"

A brief dance number then ensued between Deadpool and his hands. His left hand vocalized and the degenerate replied with an "Oh my!" When the right hand started singing, it was responded with "No no!" Both hands harmonized and they got a "Ha ha ha!" They sandwiched Deadpool between them as he peaced out with a "Zip-a-dee doo-dah!"

When Deadpool returned, he pointed straight at Peridot. "Give me a good badda-yadda-yadda!"

"Badda-yadda-yadda!" Peridot excitedly repeated. "Good, scotty-wop!" Wade then pointed to Lapis. Her reply was more unsure. "Uh, scotty-wop?"

"Everybody now!" Deadpool compelled the readers. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!" the readers answered excitedly.

"Yeah, y'all got it!" Wade congratulated before proceeding to demonstrate his healing factor. "Can your friends do this?" he asked, casually dislocating his arms. "Can your friends do that?" he added, ripping out his spinal cord to bounce on it like a certain stuffed tiger. "Can your friends pull this?" With that, Wade tore his skeleton out of his body and started dancing the Charleston with it. "Out a little hat?!"

Suddenly, Wade's skeleton started filling itself with dynamite sticks on the verge of exploding. "CAN YOUR FRIENDS GO-" The human mutate was interrupted as the TNT exploded, and the clouds gave way to him beatboxing while doing a silly dance.

"Call me the Merc with a Mouth, I am always there. North, West, East and South! So don't sit there slackjawed, all buggy-eyed! I'm here to answer all ya evening prayers!" he continued. "You got me bona-fide certified! A hired gun for your charge affair!"

"I got a powerful urge to help you out! So who's gonna die? I really need to know!" Deadpool said as the song began to reach its climax while pulling a long strip of paper from Peridot's mouth and began rubbing his bottom with it. "You got a list that's three miles long no doubt. So all you gotta do is pay-wayho!"

For the final setpiece, Peridot and Lapis now stood atop a mountain of dead Marvel characters that are so obscure, not even the most hardcore fans knew a thing about them. "Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?" Wade asked tunefully. Peridot then picked up one body, and its head suddenly turned into Deadpool's. "Anytime anyplace, I'll help you babes."

A few bodies rose from the dead, only for Deadpool to shoot them all down. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary." He concluded. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary."

Bullets once again began raining, along with all sorts of violent weapons as the song finally ended. "YOU AIN'T, HAD A, MERCE-NARY LIIIII-IIIIIKE MEEEEE!"

With the X-Force performing a kickline to finish things off, Deadpool pulled on a string dangling from above. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!" A flickering neon applause sign dropped down, capping off the rather pointless number.

"Well, that was a waste of time that'll never be spoken of again."

"Sincerest apologies to Alan Menken, Howard Ashman and especially Robin Williams. He would've been 69 this year. NICE!"

"Okay you generic-looking monster, time to discover who you truly are!" Connie declared to a captured Sasquatch while she, Peridot, Deadpool, Lapis and Cable were dressed as a certain band of meddling kids and their voracious canine pal. Connie ripped off the Sasquatch's head to reveal that it was a mask worn by an evil parrot with a scar across his face.

"Zoinks! Like, it's a parrot!" Deadpool declared in a beatnik voice. "Wait, a parrot? Is that all?"

"Far from it mein friends!" the parrot answered in a German accent. Suddenly, large robots kicked the walls around them down. "Behold, my Nazi robots!"

"N-Nazi robots?" Lapis stuttered. "Jeepers, this is just getting too weird."

Deadpool then glanced expectantly at Cable, who groaned while pushing up his glasses. "C'mon Cabey, say the line!" he exhorted the cyborg. With a heavy groan, Cable quietly said "Jinkies, run."

"He's right, let's split up gang!" Connie commanded, and the crew were off to the races. After passing by the same flowerpot approximately five times because there wasn't that much in the budget, the five came across a hallway littered with doors.

When Deadpool and Peridot burst into one door, they came out of another not too faraway, same with the others. However at the end of a door, they came across a blue digital ghost with yellow eyes & teeth and a grainy laugh.

"Ruh roh, rit's Rames Rarles the Rindly Rohnny!" Peridot exclaimed, making every word she spoke begin with R before she coughed. "How does anyone speak like this?" she asked Wade. "Because speech impediments are funny!" the mercenary replied. "Now let's move!"

"Seriously, why can't I be Fred?!" Cable complained while emerging from another door with Deadpool by his side instead of Lapis. "Connie gets the cool ascot, and all I'm left with is this bulky sweater and a short skirt!"

"Well for one, that skirt actually looks pretty cute on you." Wade answered with a stupidly cheeky grin on his face. Before anyone else could charge through more doors, zombie cats and dinosaurs that could move without thinking came charging in. "Wow, Scooby-Doo became a lot weirder than when I was a youngin."

Returning to the real world, the Crystal Temps and the X-Force have just plowed through an entire armed squadron inhabiting a conveniently abandoned office building and now had their leader tied up in a chair. "We ain't gonna let all those hallway fights amount to nothing!" Wade declared holding the squadron leader at gunpoint. "We've tried every torture technique in the book: eating your own food, threatening your family, doing a silly dance to some awesome music and yet still you won't talk!" he exclaimed. "So let me ask this again! What does the guy who gave Magneto & Doctor Doom those Sentinels look like?"

"What?" the gunman asked nervously, causing Wade to smash another wall. "WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM?!" the mercenary shrieked. "What?" the captive continued squeaking. "WHAT AIN'T NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF!" Deadpool yelled. "THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?!"

"What?" the man said a third time. "ENGLISH MOTHER-" Deadpool began, but then he noticed the T-rating and groaned. "ENGLISH YOU BASTARD, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" he reiterated. "YES!" the gunman finally said something other than what. "THEN YOU MUST KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Deadpool kept yelling. "WHAT DOES YOUR MASTER LOOK LIKE?!"

"We could just beat the info outta him and be done with it." Bedlam advised. "No need for all this Pulp Fiction parody crap."

"Was I talking to you?" Wade asked his teammate tersely before going back to his captive. "Now where was I? Oh yeah! Does he look like a bitch?"

"Now you're just skipping lines!" the gunman squealed in defiance. "What else do you wanna do with me?!"

"Okay, I got another question for you." Wade stated. "Have you had your prostate exam lately?"

"What?" the gunman muttered, fearing what could come next. "In fact, I got just the girl to help me." Wade declared. "Hey Connie, your MILF of a mom is a doctor right? Surely you must know what I'm talking about!"

"Yeah, pretty much!" Connie answered. "Here, lend me your sword. We might need to operate." Deadpool said as he menacingly snapped on a pair of rubber gloves. "Hey author, why don't we cut to another scene before this gets too violent?"

"Now then, what are we working with he-There it is!"

"AUGH!"

Elsewhere, a stereotypical shadowy figure watched from a large video screen as the X-Force tore through his mercenaries. "That masked maniac is onto us!" he growled quietly while pounding his fist on an armrest and turned his chair to face Ruckus, Gorgeous George, Hairbag, Ramrod & Slab, the Nasty Boyz. "You five track him & those rainbow women down and kill them all!"

"Yes sir." The Nasty Boyz complied and set off for the Merc with a Mouth. "Now where do you suppose the merc could be now?" Hairbag asked his fellow Boyz. "My best guess, he's probably at that Hellhouse run by Patch." the Southern-accented Slab theorized. "Hopefully they have room for his head as a trophy."

"Well here we are at Saint Margaret's School for Wayward Children." Deadpool decreed as he suddenly parked a limo that he totally always had in front of the mercenary dispatch center he loved frequenting. "I suggest you try not to look at some of its inhabitants funny, some of them can get a little ballistic."

Entering the bar, the two teams had all eyes on them by all the other mercs at the establishment. "Uh, hello there." Connie nervously greeted one of them. "I don't think you're old enough to be here little girl." The mercenary replied ominously. "Don't worry Jessica, they're with me." Deadpool told the larger man. "So, where's Weasel?"

"Right here old buddy!" the bespectacled bartender called for Wade. "Hey, Weasel!" Wade exclaimed to his old friend while sitting down at the bar and exchanging a fistbump. "I see you're doing well Poolboy." Weasel said to his friend. "And who's the green midget with you?"

"This is Peridot, a member of the Crystal Gems." Shatterstar introduced Peridot. "Oh, you mean those rock ladies that creamed those Chitauri only to get creamed by Thanos?" Weasel asked, making Peridot pretty mad. "Hey, we creamed Thanos right back!"

"We're looking for information sir." Connie said to Weasel. "A friend of mine has been captured by Magneto & Doctor Doom using those Sentinel robots, and we want to know where they've come from."

"You want confidential info little girl?" the barkeep stated. "Go see Multiple Man over there at that poker table, he's usually the guy to talk to since he's a detective."

"Yet one mystery he can't solve is the mystery of why he can never get his own movie."

"ZING!"

At a nearby poker table, Jamie Madrox and some of his duplicates were playing cards with the albino mutant Caliban, and the four Jamies clearly had the upper hand. "All in!" one of the clones declared shoving his chips into the pot. "I know you are cheating Madrox." Caliban informed his opponent. "I mean, there are literally four of you!"

Just then, Deadpool abruptly shot one of the clones dead and sat down where he once was. "Deal me in." he simply declared as if nothing happened. "Caliban welcomes you Mr. Pool." Caliban nervously greeted the regenerating degenerate. "And who is your little friend?"

"You may call me Peridot, the suave, attractive and positively adorable leader of the Crystal Gems!" Peridot introduced herself arrogantly. "So, you more members of the X-Men? Haven't seen you around the mansion."

"Actually, we're members of a different team of mutants." Madrox replied, while his surviving doubles sadly carried their dead comrade away. "There are actually quite a lot of them you see. X-Factor; the one we're a part of, X-Statix, Excalibur, Generation X, the Morlocks and most famously Alpha Flight."

"Half of them sound so late 20th to early 21st century." Peridot commented. "I mean, X-Statix? Talk about totally cool dudes!"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Is this Saint Margaret's? We'd like to have a word with the owner." A voice came from the other side, catching all the patrons and employees off-guard. All was quiet, but then the Nasty Boyz came crashing through the wall instead of the door. "LET'S GET NASTY!" they all cried out, springing into action.

"Alright, what the shit is going on here?!" Bob "Patch" Stirrat, the elderly owner of Saint Margaret's growled, emerging from another room while stroking his big bushy mustache. "Oh god, it's the Nasty Boyz."

"The Nasty Boyz?" Peridot and Lapis repeated in unison before they laughed at the evil mutant team's name. Suddenly, the wood tables of the bar came to life and changed their form thanks to Ramrod, who used them to restrain everyone aside from Deadpool. "Okay boys, frisk him."

On Ramrod's orders, Gorgeous George used his shapeshifting powers to grab Wade by the ankles and dangle him above the ground. "Let's see what he's got here." Ruckus muttered, fishing through the belongings dropped as Wade was shaken up and down. "Various pistols, swords, nunchucks, staves, forks, a bazooka."

"Most of those were from a Ninja Turtles convention I went to last year." Wade revealed. "Don't know where the bazooka came from."

"Rubber chicken, five month old bag of pizza pockets; that are still warm," Slab continued for his teammate. "Ryan Reynolds's phone number, large collection of nude selfies from Thumbelin-WHAT?!"

To Slab's absolute shock and fury, he found an overfilled file of lewd pictures taken by his sister Kristina Anderson with her phone number on it, along with a message saying "I bet you want more, my raging sex machine!" Crushing the file in his hand, Slab furiously glared at Deadpool. "Wilson, you son of a bitch!"

"Geez Chris, I thought you had a sense of humor." Wade grinned cheekily. "After all, SHE'S YOUR SISTER!" Then like Thor returning Mjolnir to his hand, the mercenary wiggled his fingers to call one of his katana blades back and free himself from Gorgeous George before rescuing his friends. "SSSSSSmokin'!" he hissed before spin-dashing out of the bar.

"After that degenerate!" Hairbag exclaimed while Slab frothed in wordless rage and the Boyz gave chase, leaving the bar in tatters. "Hey, which of you assholes is gonna clean this up?!" Patch exclaimed, but then he answered his own question by handing Weasel a broom.

"Everyone, to the Deadpoolmobile!" Deadpool exclaimed as the X-Force and Crystal Temps piled into the limousine from earlier. "Where did you ever get this car anyways?" Bismuth asked him, and he replied. "Don't think about it!"

Far across the city, Robert Kelly was left facepalming and a colleague of his scratching his head when they discovered that one of Kelly's limos was missing, its place taken by a graffiti message saying "I O U".

"I hate that Deadpool." Senator Kelly groaned.

"You get back here this instant you red-masked c-" Slab called for Deadpool as the Nasty Boyz chased them in a stolen taxi, but his cursing was cut off by Deadpool popping out the sunroof of the limousine to open fire on them.

"Wait, if Deadpool is up there, then who is driving?" Connie asked the group, and that's when Yukio made a shocking realization. "Oh my god, Demon Bear is driving!" she exclaimed pointing to a demonic bear that was taking the wheel. "How can that be?!"

"That's right folks, Lawrence Abrams is here to report that the insanely infamous insane mercenary Deadpool has started an intense car chase where he's hijacked a limo belonging to Senator Robert Kelly and is being chased by a group of other mutants called the Nasty Boyz." Lawrence Abrams said on the television at the Baxter Building, where Garnet, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine had now caught wind of the event. "And there's also some kinda bear driving the limo for some reason. Why's there a bear?! Who gives a damn! And now onto Sally Floyd with politics!"

"Deadpool." Colossus glowered in embarrassment. "Come my friends, we must go and handle this crisis ourselves." He declared while preparing to leave the building. "But you let Connie go on that mission for her optimism." Pearl stated to the metal mutant while setting Reed and Sue's young son Franklin Richards on the floor.

"We know Pearl, but that maniac is a whole 'nother level of unpredictable." Wolverine grumbled. "And there's a high chance Connie's life is at risk here! Right Garnet?"

"Logan is correct. I can see multiple paths where things go horribly wrong." Garnet agreed with Logan. "Oh, you're leaving already?" Franklin's older sister Valeria asked them. "Mom and Dad were just about to introduce you to H.E.R.B.I.E."

"It's alright Valeria, they still have friends to help." Susan assured her daughter. "Go on Gems, we'll catch up with you back at the mansion."

"It's been a pleasure to be shown around the Baxter Building and meeting the kids Sue." Pearl said gratefully and shook the Invisible Woman's hand. "I especially like how Franklin reminds me of Steven."

"Bye Ms. Pearl!" Franklin said goodbye by hugging the tall Gem's leg. "Oh, goodbye to you too Frank." Pearl replied. "Hey, what about me?!" the Four's AI H.E.R.B.I.E exclaimed irritably. "Don't I get anything to say?!"

"Oy Cain, you gotta check this out!" Black Tom called to Juggernaut while he was watching TV. The Brotherhood of Mutants had stopped to refuel their ship and Black Tom had run off on his own when he discovered a TV shop playing the same news report of Deadpool's car chase. "What say we give Deadpool an old one-two before Mags finishes up?"

"You son of a bitch, I'm in!" Juggernaut exclaimed eagerly, giving his teammate a fist-bump that knocked Tom to the ground. "You okay there?"

"We have your limousine surrounded! Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!" a police officer barked into a bullhorn as they had Deadpool and pals backed into a corner. "I would make a police brutality joke, but even I know that would be too soon." Wade said to the readers as he screeched the limo to a stop, making donuts on the street and damaging numerous police cars in the process.

"Okay, now you're just either showing off or defying us." The cop with the megaphone japed. Just then, a mighty thud briefly shook the ground. And another. And another. And another. And-

"Quit stalling writer, we know who it is! It's the goddamn Juggernaut!" Deadpool interrupted the third-person omniscient narrator. "Literally everyone and their goddamn long lost relatives know who he is!" The mighty Juggernaut continued inching closer to the fanboying mercenary while the police scattered out of fear of him and Peridot poked her head out the sunroof to see what was up.

"Uh, Wade?" the petite Gem squeaked nervously. "You know who that is right?"

"Didn't I just say that it's ol' Juggernaut?!" Wade exclaimed to his new best friend. "Oh, the things I could say about how much of a badass he is! This guy has beaten the shit outta Cyttorak, the Thing, Colossus, Blob & Thor and even called banging She-Hulk a stalemate! Maybe, that last one was actually a cl-"

Before Deadpool could finish the sentence, Juggernaut grabbed him by the neck with just two fingers and brought him very close to his helmeted face. "Hello Wade." He beamed callously. "Hey Cainy, is that new toothpaste I smell?" Deadpool greeted him nervously. "What flavor is it this time, Feeling Bad About Your Shitty Mutant Powers So You Get New Ones from Cyttorak?"

"Goddamn he went there." Black Tom muttered, only to receive a glare from his partner.

"Deadpool!" Garnet called for the Merc with a Mouth as she, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine entered the scene. "Oh, hey guys." Peridot nervously waved to her fellow Crystal Gems. "What brings you here?"

"We came here to take control of this current situation." Pearl explained. "No matter how much you want to swear and kill and all sorts of other crass activities, we still need your help in saving a friend of ours."

"I appreciate you want me to be more involved in this story Mordecai," Wade said to Pearl. "but can this wait a bit? I'm currently in the middle of worshipping the Juggernaut, bit-"

However within seconds, Deadpool was mashed into the ground by Juggernaut, leaving only a few scattered body parts lying in a puddle of blood. "Oh, so rude!" his disembodied head declared indignantly. "And to think we were buddies at one time Marky-Mark." He then turned to face the audience one last time before the degenerate would meet his not very possible untimely end. "But since I'm literally nothing but blood, my head, a few fingers, an upper arm and my dick right now, let's lighten the mood a little with some more gags, shall we?"

"As if we didn't waste enough time already."

"I love the smell of 372,844 pancakes in the morning." Deadpool declared as he flipped his last pancake and added it to the growing mountain of pancakes. "Smells like victory!"

"Why on Earth would you need this many pancakes?" Bismuth asked while Deadpool turned on the ceiling sprinklers to pour maple syrup all over each and every one of them at once. "Well, that's pretty clever I'll admit."

"Okay Peridot, ace this test and you're on the team!" Wade, now a coach for the girls' swim team comprised of Lapis, Bismuth, Domino, Warhead, Yukio, Outlaw, Copycat, Psylocke & Nephrite, announced to their soon to be newest member Peridot while she prepared to dive.

"This is it Peri, get this right and you'll make everyone proud!" Peridot muttered to herself while adjusting her cap and gazing at Lapis. As soon as Coach Wade blew the whistle, Peridot leaped into the water…and soon began struggling to keep herself afloat in a very exaggerated manner. "AAAAAGH, SOMEONE HELP! LIFEGUARD, COACH, SOS! THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA!" she shrieked for help before the chlorinated water won out and she sank to the bottom.

"I'll save you!" Cable roared while assuming the role of a lifeguard, preparing to jump in the water after her when Wade stopped him. "No no, wait for the punchline."

When Peridot finally breached the surface, she dramatically gasped for air and then frantically paddled towards the end of the pool, grabbing the ledge with a serious expression on her face. "So, how do you like my swimming?" she asked, acting like nothing had happened. However, no one else was there to answer except for Deadpool. "Hey, where did everyone go?!"

"They jumped ship an hour ago because they were tired of waiting." Wade answered. "But you still get on the team cause you really made me laugh."

"Gotta say Lapis, we got quite a team here." Deadpool remarked proudly to his fellow baseball player Lapis. "Uh, yeah, they're great." Lapis nervously replied while failing to get the joke. "So, who's on first?"

"Yeah, and what's on second." Wade responded eagerly. "No, I want to know who's on first." Lapis continued asking. "Exactly! We already established that who's on first, what's on second and I don't know is third."

"Wait, do you not know their names or are those seriously what they're called?" the ocean Gem asked, causing great irritation for her team captain. "Dammit Lapis, you spoiled the punchline!" he reprimanded her. "In fact, this whole Abbott and Costello tribute was just an excuse to see you dress up as Bob again! I mean, can you blame me with those shorts?"

"Abbott and who now?" Lapis remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"You really need to get out more." Wade deadpanned, lowering his eyelids in response.

"Welcome back one and all to Celebrity Jeopardy." Pearl announced, now dressed as Alex Trebek. "Now before we proceed, I'd like to apologize on the behalf of our contestants to all viewers with rather unusual lifestyles. We here at the studio refuse to judge anyone based on how they live, and sincerely hope you accept our apologies. Now then, let's proceed with our contestants."

Deadpool was in the podium closest to Pearl, now dressed as Sean Connery. "Mr. Connery is in first place with only -1 dollar." Pearl began recapping for the viewers at home. "About as many points as your mother gave you!" Wade cackled.

"Classy." Pearl responded crossly before shining the spotlight on Lewis Black, aka Peridot. "Mr. Black now has a score of, shockingly enough, -6,000 dollars." She explained, prompting the small Gem turned abrasive comedian to climb up on top of her podium in the middle. "Is that enough to buy my own bus?"

"And finally, Josh Brolin, now having raised 35 dollars." Pearl concluded while Juggernaut assumed the role of the aforementioned actor many may know as a certain Mad Titan. "I don't feel so good." Cain muttered. "Damn, walked right into that one!"

"Very well then. With introductions out of the way, let's move onto the board." Pearl stated, moving her eyes from the podiums to the categories. "Tonight our categories are Annals of History, Potent Potables, What Bulls Hit, Jokes, Popular Foreign Television, Places with Names Ending in 'Nia' and Video Games." Deadpool then pressed his buzzer. "Mr. Connery, you have the board."

"I'll take What Bullshit for $500 Al." Wade announced with a stupid grin on his face, clearly misreading the category he had chosen. "And I can tell you plenty of things that are bullshit."

"No, it clearly says What Bulls-" Pearl began to correct the masked contestant before she came to a realization. "Whoa! Okay, walked right into that one. Anyways, the question is: "It is commonly believed bulls are enraged by this color". Mr. Connery?"

"I'll tell you something I've hit recently." Deadpool chortled. "Hit up a few bars over the past week while hanging with your mom. She and I had a wonderful time, if you get what I mean! Wink wink, nudge nudge."

"I don't even have a mother!" Pearl ranted hotly. "And can we please return to what was happening earlier?! These pop culture references are nothing but a waste of time!"

"Thank you!"

"Boldface, you ignorant slut."

"Oh no, Wade!" Peridot yelled for Deadpool as she dashed out the limo to check on the puddle of blood and body parts that was once her new friend. "Please speak to us you clod, you can't die like this!"

"That's because I can't!" Deadpool proudly declared and in a beautiful Disney-like spectacle, slowly reassembled himself until he was the full-bodied lovable manic once again. "Healing factor baby! Got it when some asshole tried to cure my cancer, along with looking like a walking tumor."

"Uh hey, remember us?" the Nasty Boyz cried out in unison, catching the merc's attention. "Oh right, you guys. Gotta wrap up the chapter somehow." As a result, Wade opened fire on the evil mutants, shooting them in the arms, kneecaps and especially their dicks. "Oh and Bismuth, Peridot? You guys got Black Tom & Juggies. I'll take Garnet and Pearl!"

"You got it, I guess." Bismuth complied before she and her little friend squared off with Cassidy & Cain, leaving Wade alone against the senior Crystal Gems.

"Hey, what about us?" Lapis asked the writer, who responded by typing, "Didn't think that far ahead. You guys can just do crowd control."

"Okay Q-Bert and Drinking Bird," Deadpool exclaimed. "you two may have thousands of years of battle experience on your show but in terms of franchise ages, I've been doing this for far longer! There was even a graphic novel trilogy where an actually insane version of me killed the rest of Marvel, tons of classic literature characters and even other versions of me!"

"Do you have any idea what he's saying anymore?" Pearl asked Garnet. "I'm not sure. I fear he may be too unpredictable for us to comprehend!" Garnet answered fearfully. "You can try if you want." Deadpool beckoned them with a silly dance. "But I can assure you that hilarity will ensue!"

Pearl leaped at the Merc with a Mouth, but she was quickly denied a hit when Wade did a pirouette and kicked her in the back, sending her flying into a lamppost. "See, what did I tells ya?!"

Garnet tried her hand at attacking by enlarging her gauntlets & launching them at her foe, but they proved to be useless against him. Deadpool then rapidly fired his gun at Garnet, but she blocked all the bullets with her gauntlets and then finally moved so fast, not even Deadpool could catch her and was punched in the face.

"Wow okay, you got the guts!" Wade yelled while readjusting his head from the hit. "Seems like I really am a bit outmatched by you Garnet. Or maybe a certain someone just wants to make things fair!"

"Come on you maniac, what else can you throw at us?!" Pearl asked pointing her spear. "Oh what else can I throw?" Deadpool replied, letting out a sinister giggle while wearing a pair of shiny glasses and clasping his fingers together. "Let me show you!"

Whipping out his katana blades, Deadpool laughed maniacally while using them to tear the background apart, leaving nothing but a blank white space behind. "WELCOME CRYSTAL GEMS TO MY TURF! I PRESENT TO YOU THE FOURTH WALL, WHERE LOGIC IS JUST AS ILLEGAL AS JAYWALKING!"

"This is starting to remind me of that Uncle person." Pearl muttered in awe. "I thought we promised to never speak of that man again." Garnet instructed the former servant. "Well if he wants to make jokes and talk to the audience, then so can we."

When the two Gems joined hand, there was a bright shimmer as the pair merged into the returning glamorous Sardonyx. "Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in-between, the Gem Hostess with the Mostest has finally returned!" the fusion of Garnet and Pearl announced. "And it seems we have a very special guest star today."

"Sardonyx, huh?" Deadpool muttered while scrolling through the Steven Universe wiki for statistics. "Oh I see, she's here because we can both break the fourth wall!"

"A worthy opponent for you I must say!" Sardonyx chortled before smashing Deadpool in with her hammer. "Of course you realize this means war!" Wade roared, proceeding to whip out numerous cartoon guns, launching them all at once. "RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA-RATA!" he screamed while launching lead at his fusion foe, following up with a declaration of "Omae wa mou shindeiru."

"N-NANI?!" Sardonyx cried out in shock before she spontaneously combusted with a cry of "HIDEBU!" However, the explosion cleared up and she was perfectly fine. "Psyche! Hammer time!"

Before Sardonyx could hit Deadpool with the hammer again, he disappeared into a cartoon hole like it were a solid object and reappeared out another. "Ha, that Spot douche should take notes from-OH GOD!"

"Anyone up for Whack-A-Mole?!" Sardonyx exclaimed, proceeding to whack her opponent multiple times with her hammer before he vanished and popped out another hole. And another, and another, and another, and another, until the hiding began to tire him out. "Jesus she's good." Wade panted, and then he began to make a plan. "I swore that I would never use this the moment I stole it from those schmoes, but I'm left with no choice!"

Sticking a hand up his red-clad butt, Deadpool pulled it out while holding a small black jewel that seemed similar to the Infinity Stones. "Ough, I also swore to never use it again because looking for it is a literal pain in my ass!"

"That Infinity Stone isn't canon!" Sardonyx objected while sounding like a stereotypical nerd. "Oh it may not be canon my dear, but we're in the Fourth Wall where anything could happen." Deadpool explained deviously. "With this Continuity Stone, I could warp all reality to my whims! I could use it to go back in time and erase One More Day by preventing Civil War from happening, or maybe beat the shit outta that Judas Traveller prick and his butt-buddies! But what I plan on doing now is using this stone to erase you from this reality once and for all!"

"Oh no, I don't feel so good!" Sardonyx dramatically announced as she felt herself fading away. "I'm melting! Melting! Oh what a world, what a world!" With that, the fusion finally vanished and presumably Garnet & Pearl as well. As Deadpool let out a heavy sigh, he suddenly realized that the Continuity Stone was now missing. "What the?! Where did it go!?"

"Looking for something Ninja Spidey?" a familiar voice rang out. Sardonyx was now back to normal and smugly held the Stone in her hand, setting it down like a golfball and swinging it at Deadpool's eye, causing his body to explode.

"Can I at least get one F-bomb in Mr. Author Man? Please?" Wade begged the author by putting on his best puppy dog eyes until his disembodied head landed in one of Sardonyx's hands. "To be or not to be," she began quoting Shakespeare. "That is the question."

"I got a question." The mercenary's head growled angrily. "On a scale from one to ten, how much do you think I FUCKING hate you?"

"Watch the mouth sonny, children could be reading this!" Sardonyx chortled. "Now then, let's finish this chapter!"

One bypass of the chapter break later, Sardonyx and the defeated Deadpool were now out of the Fourth Wall and back in the real world where the Nasty Boyz, Juggernaut & Black Tom were now nowhere to be seen.

"Okay, I give up!" Deadpool complained while his body began to regenerate. "I'll go with your stupid plan! Didn't really need to treat me like how Pearl killed that one Irishman during the Easter Rising."

"It was an accident!" Pearl exclaimed as she and Garnet defused. "And how did you possibly know?"

"But before we move onto the next chapter, can we make a quick stop first?" Deadpool asked. "There's a joke I think needs resolving."

"You'll never take the whale from me Wilson!" Captain Ahab exclaimed as he engaged in a swordfight with the dread pirate Straw Hat Deadpool and his motley crew. "I'll surrender when I get eaten alive!"

"Funny you should mention that Habbo." First Mate Peridot sneered before she whistled loudly for Willy to breach the surface, breaking most of Ahab's ship and swallowing him whole. "I'll get you for this Wade!" Ahab shrieked vengefully. "You haven't seen the last of me!"

When Ahab was finally swallowed, Willy gave the pirates his farewells and dove back into the water, free again at last.

"What did parodying both Free Willy and Moby Dick have to do with anything?" Pearl asked Straw Hat Deadpool. "You know what? After what I've experienced, I don't think I want to know."

At long last, the chapter is done! Good thing too, because my partner has just started college as we write this and all that education is gonna cut into his freetime!

Yes indeed, the next chapter will take a bit longer to come out because of college. But I still get a few months off soon, so there you go.

Well, that should settle it. You get some free writing done and I won't take your ANDY ONLY stuff. Hasta luego amigo! And be sure to give my regards to your mom!

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the-lady-bryan · 4 years ago

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What If..... Disney brought in the FOX Marvel properties?

Not that Marvel will do this, but it’s I think it’s a pretty cool idea, so if it takes your fancy, go right ahead and use it, oh fanfic writers of MCU fandom.

Disney bought Fox. And we all know that with that comes all those long lost Marvel characters we’ve been dying to see come into the MCU. Whether you believe all the rumours flying around or not, hopefully one day the mutants will return to the greater Marvel Movie landscape. In the meantime, here’s one way they could bring them in and not entirely ruin what came before....

Anyone who’s familiar with the Marvel Multiverse Designation Numbers knows the Fox films all have their own special number. Right down to the differing timelines created by Days of Future Past and the ending of Deadpool 2.

We know that Endgame had a shit ton of alternate timelines spring up, some of which may have canceled right out by getting the stones back to the right places... but others weren’t so easy to solve. I mean fuck, Loki from 2012 is getting his own Disney+ show and then there’s..... meddling old war heroes.... (lookin’ at you, you old star spangled asshole) as well as all the time travel and alternate timeline shit with Agents of Shield.

That said...

We also know the upcoming Doctor Strange sequel is going to deal heavily with the multiverse and have Wanda in it, too. What if the multiverse problem they’re dealing with doesn’t stem originally from THEIR timeline/universe?

Let’s just trim the fat and stick to JUST the timeline problems with Endgame and assume all the other problems work themselves out somehow. Now, the Endgame timeline branches are a pretty big fucking deal! 2014 thanos dead makes a timeline where he never comes to earth and snaps in the first place. 2014 Nebula dead and 2014 Gamora hanging around the present means that in that branch, Quill never meets Gamora. Quill is still part Celestial. Who knows how the shit with Ego is going to go down and totally fuck up now. Then there’s Loki in 2012 who’s gonna get his own show. Then there’s 2012 Tony who had a heart attack when he didn’t before. And then there’s 2012 Steve who 1) the HYDRA in SHIELD agents are now going to assume is on their side and 2) now knows way earlier that Bucky is alive. And we all fuckin know Pre-Endgame Steve Rogers will overthrow entire governments if he has to just to find Bucky fuckin Barnes. And don’t even fuckin get me started on wrinkly old Sad Johnny Bravo and his trip to the past. (Bitch still could have retired from being Captain America, and public life, gone to the goat farm in Wakanda with Bucky and lived out the rest of his days in peace but noooooooo 3 movies worth of build up for even the most epic bromance ever flushed right down the drain. She was meant to marry Daniel. Fuck off with that bullshit..... sorry..... sorry. Not the place for that. Another post another day.) So, these are all problems that may or may not resolve themselves. But let’s say they do. Somehow, and just create benign parallel universes. New places in the multiverse. That’s fine.

Only.... Disney has bought Fox. And Disney wants to capitalize on those Marvel characters they’ve been salivating over FOR YEARS.

How do we bring them in? Easy! - Multiverse disaster!

Everything can, at first, point to the branching timelines Endgame caused as the root of this multiversal disturbance. But with each movie moving forward after Dr. Strange, where we THINK whatever was going on is resolved, little easter eggs pop up here and there. Like tabloids in the background describing girls who can walk right through walls. Or a “man-beast with razor sharp claws”. A speedster spotted robbing an arcade. And as the movies progress, these little discrepancies seem like they’ve been there this whole time. But Dr. Strange and maybe Wanda are like “wait a minute.... something’s not right...” and they discover that their reality is merging with another. the old Avengers tower is bought by a scientist named Reed Richards and his family.

All these little things as realities seem to meld into one another, filling in holes that neither universe realized it might have originally had.

And eventually, when a third deadpool movie comes out, it’s not a reboot. Of all the movies from the Fox properties that get brought in it alone isn’t a rehash. Like, the first five minutes maybe before Wade cuts in and is like “so yeah.... when i uh.... shot the guy with no mouth and then saved my girl, i fucked stuff up.” - and why deadpool, specifically?

because in all the Fox properties, Wade Wilson’s ability of Comic Awareness (or would it be Cinematic Awareness while he’s in movie form?...) lets him know there’s already timeline discrepancies. Deadpool 1, he asks “Stewart or MacAvoy?!” Even though it can be reasonably assumed that the first Deadpool movie takes place in the new X-Men timeline because Xavier is still alive/around as are Scott and Jean who died in X-3 (as seen by the ending of Days of Future Past as well as the cameo scene in Deadpool 2 when Wade is taken to the mansion by Collossus.) So Wade Wilson, Deadpool, is the PERFECT character to be stuck in the middle of everything and because shit around him tends to go spectacularly pear shaped damn near every single time, whatever he caused to happen cannot be undone.

Additional - I don’t think the first versions of the Fantastic Four from fox (Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, etc) should be the versions brought in because Chris was Captain America and he’s now moved on to other pastures. This would be a good way to re-work the Fan4stic cast and get them a sequel that will also put them in-universe with the MCU.

#mcu #deadpool #doctor strange #misc marvel characters #idea

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shadedrose01 · 5 years ago

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Date Night Differences

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Harley and Peter go on a mission for their date night.

Tags: Febufluff, Date Night, Harley Keener as Iron Lad, BAMF Harley Keener, BAMF Peter Parker, Hydra (Marvel), hydra base, a tiny bit of violence, Peter Parker having Deadpool energy, Established Relationship, Dorks in Love, Exasperated Harley Keener, Fluff, Cute Ending, Bisexual Peter Parker, Gay Harley Keener, And a smidge of angst? But not really? Idk, Harley has an AI named ABBIE, and theres one Into The Spiderverse reference too

Day three of Febufluff: "Date Night"!

"We really need to rethink our choices." Harley groans as a fist collides with his metal helmet, his head swiveling to the side with the force of the blow. He glares back at the agent that hit him, who is now cradling his probably broken hand, and punches him back, the agents body flying across the room.

"What, you don't like this?" Peter voice chimes back through the coms, slight staticky and obviously out of breath as he fights, probably kicking ass wherever the hell he was.

"Scouting a HYDRA base for date night?" Harley hears a beep, sees two red dots coming up from behind him on his radar, and deploys his mini missiles, shooting out of his back and watching as the dots suddenly disappear. "No, not really, Pete. Why couldn't Tony or literally anyone else come do this for us? We could be having dinner right now, or watching a movie." He whines into the now empty space, sounding like a child as he strolls through the dark halls of the base, using infrared light to watch for any body heat signatures around him and keeping an eye on his radar to see if anyone else is coming his way.

"You know why, Harls." Peter teases, before grunting, a crash coming through right afterwards that makes Harley's heart spike.

"You good, Pete??"

There's a pause, and then a "Yup! All good!" that relaxes Harley instantly, puffing out a long breathe of air.

"Good. And yeah, I know why, but still! Stupid old people and their stupid retirement." He grumbles, turning the corner and freezing, seeing a room full of body signatures further down the hall to his right. The main room, Harley assumes, leaning against the wall and crouching down, trying to make himself less noticable just in case any stranglers come around. "Where are you, anyways?"

"I'm right here!" Peter suddenly appears in front of him, jumping down from the ceiling and giving Harley a massive heart attack, his body jerking back and tensing up instinctively before relaxing again.

"Gah, Peter! You cant just do that!" He breathes, putting a hand over his chest plate beside the arc reactor, above where his heart is.

Peter's mask twitches, his eyes moving in a motion that Harley can tell is him rolling his eyes, and Harley glares back at him even though Peter can't see it. "I'm surprised you didn't see me, with all of your fancy smancy tech."

Now its Harley that's rolling his eyes. "I told ABBIE to only warn me when threats are approaching. You aren't percieved as a threat."

Peter gasps dramatically. "Awh, babe! That's so sweet!"

Harley attempts to sigh in annoyance, but it ends up as a breathy laugh. "Let's just get this over with. What are we looking for again?"

"The codes for some super weapon that could kill us all or something. You know, the usual." Peter shrugs, winking, and this time Harley does sigh, causing Peter's shoulders to shake with silent laughter. "They should be on a computer in the final bosses room."

Harley ignores the video game analogy, exasperated out of his mind, and nods towards the room with all the heat signatures in it, the bodies barely moving. "In there. There's about 6 people, and they're just standing around, waiting. I think they know we're here."

"Then let's not keep the party waiting!" Peter jumps back up on to the ceiling, stealthily crawling his way towards the door and Harley follows, creeping over himself, on the floor instead. He presses his back against the wall and takes a deep breath. "You ready?"

"Ai ai, captain!" Is the response he gets, and Harley breathes out one last, airy chuckle before aiming his repulsor at the door and shooting it open, going in guns ablazing.

The agents start to shoot at him, but the Iron Lad armour absorbs all of the hits, the bullets ricocheting off of him and hitting different parts of the room. He starts firing repulsor blasts at the three people in his range, knocking them unconscious easily, looking for the other three. He doesn't have to look far to see two bodies on the floor, and one attached to the wall, all unmoving and covered in webs, with a certain spider stood in the middle of the carnage, looking pleased with himself. "Well dress me up and call me the Staples button, because that was easy."

He even does a not so terrible impression of the voice. This is the person Harley loves. This is the person he chooses to be around. Why does he do this to himself?

(He wouldn't have it any other way.)

He doesn't dignify that with a response, though he silently agrees, and makes his way over to the large row of computers sat on top of a wooden rickety table against the wall, the space cluttered, gray and dark, like the stereotypical enemy computers that you'd see in the movies. How cliché. He searches around, and quickly finds a USB port. Now, he just- "Hey, you still got the USB stick, or whatever the hell you call it?" He turns towards Peter, who tilts his head like a confused puppy.

"The goober?"

"Yeah, that." Peter pats himself down, before putting his hand into an invisible pocket on his thigh that Harley has never seen before, and pulling the small device out with a small "ta-da!"

"Thanks, babe." He tries to push the stick into the slot, but it doesnt work, so he flips it over and tries again. When that doesnt work, he groans, flips it back over again, and when it finally slots into place, Harley watching as the code floods onto the screen, overriding the passcodes and finding the information they did to complete their mission.

The progression bar is about halfway to completion when Peter speaks up again. "Uh, babe?" and the change in his voice, from upbeat to quiet, nervous, has Harley alert immediately.

"Yeah?"

"Something's wrong." As soon as the words are out of his mouth, his display lights up red, images of a crumbling building and the words 'unstable structure' screaming in his face.

"The building is collapsing, Boss!" ABBIE exclaims to him, the AI's usually calm, youthful robotic voice filled with a fear Harley didn't know it could have. "You will need to escape immediately to avoid significant injury."

"Shit!" Harley glances at the progression bar, seeing that it's almost complete, almost done, just a little longer-

"Harls, what's happening?" Peter breaks into his thoughts as the room starts to shake, dust starting to fall from the ceiling, an ominous rumble starting in the background. Harley reaches out and grabs onto him, pressing the boy close to his body as the progress bar hits 100%, the rumble turning into a loud roar. "Harls?!?"

He yanks the stick out of its slot, and yells out a quick "hold on!" Before he shoots off towards the exit, flying through doorway after doorway as the rooms start to groan around him, large blocks of ceiling falling in front of his own eyes. He doesnt focus on it, can't focus on it, he has to get them to safety, has to get Peter out safely, he has to-

Harley breaks through the entrance of the base, shooting up into the sky just as the entire building crumbles to the ground, a cloud of dust flooding the air around it. Harley flies a little ways away, the USB, goober, whatever, still in hand, clutching onto Peter with the other.

He finds a hill further up the plain where the base was built, and lands slowly, gently, carefully helping Peter to his feet as soon as he does. He retracts his helmet, Peter taking off his mask, and a gloved hand grabs onto Peter's cheek, staring into his slightly shaken eyes and scanning his face and body for any injuries. "You okay? You aren't hurt, are you?"

"N-no, no, I'm okay. Are you okay?"

Harley lets out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I'm okay, baby. I'm the one with the metal suit."

"Hey, I have a metal suit too!" Peter pouts, and Harley instantly knows he's alright. Really, truly alright, not just lying to make Harley feel better (which he has done one too many times in the past). "...Not on me, but still!"

Harley can't help the laugh that escapes him, hearty, full of warmth. "I know, sweetheart, I know."

He sees a big, goofy smile grow onto Peter's face, and Harley cant help but to pull him into a hug, pressing his face into Peter's hair as Peter nuzzles into his chest with a soft, content sigh. Looking over Peter's shoulder, Harley can faintly see the pinks, reds, yellows and oranges of the setting sun through the trees, the ball of fire slowly sinking into the horizon, and he cant help but to grin. With a successful mission on their hands, and Peter in his arms, Harley cant help but to grin, feeling satisfied.

Maybe this wasn't so bad of a date night after all.

#febufluff #Febufluff #day three #date night #parkner #parley #harley keener/peter parker #harley keener #harley keener as iron lad #peter parker #hydra #fanfiction #marvel #mcu #marvel fanfiction

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sweets-fanfics · 5 years ago

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Honeymoon [RE] 7

Title: A team that trust, my ass

wordcount: 1570 (small bb)

Warning: violence

AN: I’m not sure why I originally made this one small

______________

You sat back in the office chair and sighed. You told everyone you were going to try to figure out a counter to Riley's ability but you couldn’t stop staring at the picture of the two of you on Bruce’s desk. It was from the day you graduated high school. You looked so happy, and not trying to kill each other. That was also the last day you saw Bruce before he started turning green.

You looked out the window trying not to think about the past. You could see Steve outside as Tony showed him new weapons he had created for the suit. One more sigh and you looked at the whiteboard in front of you.

“Reily, what have you done?” You turned up the movie scores you were listening to so that you could tune everything out and think. “I feel like I need some outside insight.” You picked up your phone. You scrolled through until you found one of the numbers of someone who you knew back when you had to check up on Inhumans.

“Hello.” His smooth voice said softly.

“Hello, my favorite bulletproof friend.”

Luke chuckled. “What does Shield want now?”

“Shield doesn’t know I’m calling you. I have a question.”

“Alright go ahead and ask.”

“You were once in the force, right? And you yourself are Inhuman. How would you deal with someone who can control blood?”

Luke was quiet for a second. “The hell have you got yourself into?”

“Nothing new. Just my crazy ex who I thought was dead trying to kill me.”

“Yeah, I know how that feels. He’s inhuman, huh? I haven’t dealt with that before. You could ask Jessica, or Matt maybe.”

“How about you three get together to see what you can find out.” You could see Coulson walking down the hall. “Shit. I gotta go. I’ll call you later.”

You hung up the phone right as he walked in. “Who was that?”

“I bought Wade a new coffee machine he didn’t know how to use it. What are you doing here?”

“I want to introduce you to the Director of Shield.”

“Who?” As you said that a tall white man with dark hair entered the room.

He held out his hand for you to shake, “Jeffrey Mace, a pleasure to meet the Wife of Captain America. I looked up to him so much as a child.”

“Pleasure to meet you as well, but my name is (Y/N) Rogers, not Captain America’s wife.” You shook his hand firmly and let go. “I’m in the middle of something Phil. I can’t be bothered.” You turned around and fixed your notes.

“About your ex?” The new director asked.

You spun around in a split second. You turned so fast your eyes might have glowed a bit because Coulson placed a hand on Mace and pulled him back an inch. “What do you know?”

“We know you and Deadpool lost to him.” Mace continued. “I want to pull you off the case.”

“No!” You slammed your hand on your desk and it froze as a thick layer of covered the top. “I.. I mean,” You pulled your hand off the desk so that the ice thawed out. “I have to be the one to do it.”

“No. That anger is exactly why I’m pulling you off.” Mace walked forward to shake your hand again. This time when you did he squeezed so hard you felt your hand snap and made you let out a yelp. “A team that trusts, succeeds. And right now I don’t trust you.”

He let go and straightened out his coat. “Alright, let’s get going. More meetings to attend. Pleasure meeting you Mrs. Rogers.” He turned back one last time as if listening to the song, “Darth Vader’s March, good song.”

He walked out of the room as Coulson ran up to you but you pushed him away. “What an asshole! I hope he never has as great as a title as my Husband. I don’t trust him. Why is he in charge?”

“Let me look at your hand.”

“No. You made your point. Get out of here I’ll have bruce look at it.” Coulson sighed but left. “Friday.”

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“I need Bruce.”

“I’ve already notified him and Captain Rogers.” As if on cue Steve slammed the door opened and was at your side in less than a second.

“Who hurt you?”

“Your biggest fan apparently.” You rubbed your hand.

Bruce walked in with an ice pack. “Picking fights again?”

“I was kicked off of Reilly's case. It’s all you now with figuring it out. No one be surprised if I’m sent on a mission tomorrow.”

As if on cue your phone vibrated. You looked at the screen and sighed. “Maybe I can see the future.”

“Where are they sending you?”

You squinted at the phone a bit, “London.”

“What’s in London?” Steve asked.

You shrugged, “It’s probably a made-up something or other.” You smiled at Steve. “I’ll take it as a vacation.”

You got another text,

Can we meet without Hydra or Shield knowing?

You quickly locked your phone.

“What was that?” Bruce asked.

“Uh… Wade, is drunk texting.”

“Is it funny let me see?” Steve asked.

“It’s inappropriate pictures.”

“Ah… Maybe talk to him about that.”

“I will. I’m going to go put him in bed.” You gave Steve a peck on the cheek, grabbed your coat and keys and hurried out.

-----

“She gonna be okay?” Steve asked looking at Bruce.

“She’s probably going to let some anger out. You know how she is with getting off of missions”

-----

You walked into a theme park with your only cover being a hat and sunglasses. You found the meeting point and sat down to wait. Soon someone sat down extremely close.

“Make it quick. I think I’m being watched.” You mumbled.

“How are you?” Riley asked sweetly.

“Stick to why you are here.” You said in a flat tone.

The man you used to be in love with sighed, “They want me to kill you.”

“I’m touched.”

“What about you?”

You sat quietly for only a moment, “They kicked me from your case.”

He turned his head towards you. “What why?”

“New Director.”

“I saw him on the news. He seems fake.” You thought the same thing but you weren’t about to tell a Hydra assassin that. “Why is your hand broken?”

“He has superhuman strength.”

“I bet Cap’s pissed.”

“Why are you being friendly?”

“I regret how I acted those many years ago.” He said that with a type of tone like he was testing if that was an okay thing to say. It really wasn’t.

“I have to go.” As you tried to stand your legs suddenly couldn’t move. “Let me go. Or I’ll hurt you back.”

“I can’t do that.” Riely kept looking straight.

“Really? Right now? In a Theme Park?”

“It’s my job.” As he spoke your hand slid into your pocket as an emergency panic option text your had set up went out to Steve and Bruce. “They won’t get here in time.”

“I can keep you busy until then.” You froze your hand and socked him in the face confusing him long enough that your legs could move. You jumped up and looked around for an employee. Once you caught the eyes of one of them you yelled out, “Evacuate the park!” You took off your hat and sunglass so the lady could see who you are.

By then Riley was now standing. “You’re going to make this difficult…” he rubbed some of the blood on his forehead where you hit onto his hand. As he swung at you again the blood turned into the shape of a blade right in front of your face giving you barely enough time to duck. You made the ground shift under him so that he was on the ground again.

Your eyes started to glow a flame grew in your hand. Your brother looked at you still with a blank face. “Is that the crazy look they said you always had when you were in that prison.” That made you stop a bit as you thought back to that horrible place. “These people don’t deserve you. You’re dying for no reason.”

“Shut up!” a fireball flung from your hand to Riley who moved out of the way by taking one step to the right. When you tried to throw another, your body froze again. “You are too much of a coward to actually fight me.”

“I have abilities so I should just use them.” As he got close you could see something in his eyes.

“The winter soldier serum. That’s why you're attacking aren’t you.”

“That or I hate you.”

“Not enough to kill me.” He shrugged as he prepared to strike.

That’s when a giant ball of red white and blue bumped him out of the way and Steve caught you as you tripped back a step. “Nice timing.”

“Yeah, well, you never hit that SOS button so I assumed it was bad.”

“Where’s Bruce?” As if on cue you could hear Riley struggling. When you looked over you saw him hanging upside down with his feet in Hulk’s hands. “He came green?”

“As I said, you never hit the SOS button.”

“Hulk, knock him out, we’ll take him with us.” Hulk hit him once and your ex was out.

#Avengers #avenger fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #honeymoon #honeymoon redo #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader

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the--sad--hatter · 6 years ago

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Name Changing (4)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, X-MEN, DEADPOOL

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION - Sequel to Name Calling

After merging with your bloodthirsty alternate personality things start getting a little dicey. You’ve got two decades worth of anger to sort through, a feral mutation to figure out how to live with, a biological father who you hate trying to teach you control and if your wedding planner suggests teal for the bridesmaids again you might just eat her liver.

Luckily you have Bucky Barnes by your side, helping you figure things out. What Bucky doesn’t know is that you have found an outlet for the uncontrollable rage, one that absolutely nobody can know about. If your friends and family knew that you were out slaughtering people in the dead of night while they slept, they might be a little annoyed. Wade Wilson is happy to keep your secret though, so long as you keep bribing him with Mexican food.

For as long as you could remember, all you had wanted was to be good. Now you’re seeing the temptation in the darkness.

A Stark Reminder

Read the Exclusive Interview with Deathwave

Interview conducted and written by Kara M Pierce

Since her very public debut as the long lost daughter of Tony Stark, she has been the subject of much curiosity. Her story is a dark one, yet it’s also one filled with hope.

It quickly came to light that Miss Stark was far more than she first appeared and while she is in fact Tony Starks daughter, it is not by blood. Though after just a few minutes in her presence I am wondering if that is true. She exudes the same confidence and charm as her father, not to mention the same sharp wit. Having interviewed Mr Stark in the past I can confirm that both Starks harbour the same respect and fear for Pepper Potts as one look from the CEO can make either Stark fall into line.

Thank you so much for agreeing to sit down with me today Miss Stark.

Bold of you to assume I had any choice.

Thank you so much for convincing her to sit down with me today Mrs Potts.

She’s very happy to be here.

I imagine you are quite busy, does being Deathwave take up a lot of your time?

It does but apparently the bad guys have no concept of acceptable work hours. Someone should really start a labour union for them or something.

What’s it like being an Avenger and is it different from being a secret Avenger?

I used to just have to deal with Hydra and Vernichtung agents attacking me, now I have paparazzi as well but apparently I’m not allowed to blast them into smithereens.

Other than that, it’s not actually very different. Not having to wear the mask makes it a little easier, that thing was kinda warm.

How well do you get along with the other Avengers?

Sam Wilson, The Falcon is my best friend. When I first arrived at the compound he sort of took me under his wing. Sam is an excellent cook and he loves feeding people He’s also a great listener, he really cares about what you have to say and if you need advice he’ll do his best to give it to you but he knows when you just need to vent.

Plus have you seen the muscles on that man? Who doesn’t want to cry on those shoulders?

It sounds like you’re writing a dating profile for him. Are you trying to get him a date Miss Stark?

No... Maybe. Not that he needs my help, the man is handsome, charming, has the thighs of a god and is a superhero. He's also single. Just saying.

What about the other Avengers, are you close with them?

Well I am engaged to one so yes? We’re a family, all of us. I trust them with my life and they trust me with theirs. When we’re out there in the field our lives and the lives of the people we are fighting to protect rests in each others hands. That tends to form some close bonds.

So does that mean you’re close with Loki, the man who once led an attempted invasion?

Yes, I am. Loki was not responsible for that, and despite being controlled he managed to manipulate events so he would lose the battle of New York. He did the best he could with limited control of his own mind.

Loki was instrumental in helping me defeat Docherty, he helped us win the Second Battle of New York. He’s a hero, an Avenger and a friend and anyone who says otherwise can take it up with me personally. I’ll be happy to educate them on the difference between a hero and a villain.

You seem to have a protective streak, not just for those you know personally.

Was there a question in there?

I was wondering where that protectiveness comes from?

My father. He protected me. And I owe it to the world to follow in his example. He made a lot of mistakes along the way to becoming the hero he is today and he owns up to them and not only learned from them, encourages me to learn from them as well.

Speaking of your father, there’s been much speculation about your biological family.

Are you referring to the rumors that were leaked about Docherty being my grandfather?

Yes, those rumors have been circulating. Is there any truth to them?

Yes.

Would you like to elaborate on that?

Not particularly. Biologically, I was his granddaughter. He was evil, I stopped him. End of story.

What about the rest of your biological family? Do you have any desire to know about them?

What makes you think I don’t already know? My mother is dead, Docherty killed her. My father didn't know I existed until recently and he... he and I are working through our issues but that’s a private matter. If his identity comes to light at any point I just wanted people to know he didn't know about me or Docherty. It wasn't his fault.

That’s fair. Onto happier subjects Miss Stark, you won’t be Miss Stark for much longer. Are you excited?

You’d assume I was excited about my upcoming nuptials or I wouldn't be getting married would I?And the Stark name was the greatest gift I ever got, I’m not giving it up. I’ll be Mrs Stark-Barnes.

How did the romance between you and Sargent Barnes happen? Who made the first move?

(Miss Stark is trying to contain a laugh at this point, Mrs. Potts giving her a warning look.)

He made the first move. He followed me about for months, begging me for a chance. It was getting quite sad so I took pity on him.

What about the photo’s that appeared to show you on a date with Captain Rogers?

Well, Cap was my first love but he’s too good, too pure. I had to downgrade.

So you settled for Sargent Barnes?

(The laughter dies and the expression on Miss Starks face is one of love and conviction, it is clear her feelings for Sargent Barnes are very real and very powerful.)

James is the only man I have ever wanted to be with and the only man I ever want to be with. He’s my partner in every way, he supports me even when he doesn’t like what I’m doing, he challenges me when I’m being an idiot, he forgives me when I mess up, he holds my head above water when I’m drowning. He is the love of my life I know how lucky I am that I get to spend the rest of my life returning his love.

What about the blurred photographs that appear to show you in the company of the Vigilante and Mercenary known as Deadpool?

Deadpool is a menace to society. It is my personal mission to hunt him down and give him exactly what he deserves.

Quite a turn around from the woman who once refused to sign The Sokovia Accords.

My refusal to sign wasn’t about the accords themselves but rather the way they were being used. Secretary Ross is a slimy rat and I would never cow to his perceived authority. (There is a short argument between Mrs. Potts and Miss Stark but Miss Stark insists we can print her opinion on Secretary Ross, though it must be noted that the opinion of the interviewee do not necessarily represent the views of this publication.)

Colonel Rhodes is a man who knows the value of bureaucracy and the importance of the accords and balances it with the public's need for protection. The Sokovia Accords are no longer used as a power play but are in place to protect the people who signed as well as holding them accountable for their actions.

It’s at this point in the interview I informed Miss Stark I had some fan questions that had been sent in and she immediately perked up.

I like the fans, they’re just normal people who like me for some reason. It’s always strange when they come up to me and ask for a selfie or an autograph but it’s inspiring. Hopeful. It reminds me that there’s a world out there that I get to help protect.

From Jess on Ao3: How did you decide that you wanted to be good, despite the evils you’ve encountered?

I decided I wanted to be good because of the evils I encountered. My earliest memories are of cruelty and you’d think growing up that way might have given me a twisted sense of morality but I knew the way I felt was horrible and I didn't ever want to be the reason somebody else felt that way. There was a guard when I was really young, he slipped me chocolate through the bars of my cell. He was killed for it when they found out. That's how I knew they were evil, even if I didn’t know the word. And I knew I didn't want to be that way.

TaraStudiesaLot: Are you are interested in any art form? Photography, painting, film or music? Like, does do enjoy any of these or are they still foreign to you?

Steve tried to get me into art but I’m more made to appreciate it than make it.

I like to take pictures though, nothing special, just little moments from life. I like being able to look back at the photo’s, they help ground me and remind me of the good things I have in my life.

Phoenix-whiskey-Tears: What kind of music are you into?

I hadn’t even been out of the cage for a full day before my dad introduced me to AC/DC. So I kind of associate 80’s rock with freedom I guess? I’m also partial to big band music from the 40’s. (It should be noted that at this point, Miss Stark is doing her best to hide her blush.)

Firefly-in-darkness: I wanna know more of your habits and little simple things like your favorite colour, movies, books, etc?

Red. My favorite colour is red. The Iron Suit was red, red is the colour of freedom, of salvation, justice.

Books and movies? I don’t have favorites per se, it’s still exciting and thrilling to see and read them, even bad ones.

HoneyBadger: What advice would you give to abuse survivors? And do you think you’d ever take on a protege or sidekick?

Well first of all, I have a sidekick. Bucky Barnes.

To abuse survivors I would say this, you already did the hard part. You survived. You are already winning that battle by fighting it and I know it’s a long battle, one you’ll be fighting every day for the rest of your life. That thought is depressing and exhausting and overwhelming.

But it’s worth it. The world is still out there waiting for you, use the pain you have experienced to see the world differently. See the beauty in the mundane and normal because after your suffering you deserve every single tiny bit of happiness and calm you can grasp.

What happened to you shaped you yes, but it does not define you. You are so much more than what they did to you. Their evil does not leave a stain on you and your future is not dictated by your past.

You’re warriors, Kings and Queens who deserve so much more than life gave you. Life and people can be cruel and it’s up to you now, to take what you deserve from the world. Be amazing, you’ve already proven you have it in you. Support one another, hold each other up and never ever forget that we are a thousand times better than those who tried to put us down.

Pydia Packmaster: What keeps you going despite everything you have been through?

Life goes on, the world keeps turning. And everything I endured can be used to help me make sure others don’t have to go through the same thing.

All the bad things that happened to me are being used as a force for good now. Like I once said, I was created to end the world but I’m going to save it.

Beansy: if you had the ability to change anything in your past, what would it be and would you?

I wish I had known I had a mother, maybe I could have saved her before it was too late. Maybe I could have known her. But what’s done is done. My whole life I didn’t even dare to imagine that I would have a future but now I do and I won’t waste it by living in the past.

ToastLuvr: If you could choose an actress to play you in a movie who would it be?

Jack Black. Next question.

BuckityBarnes: Who’s your Avengers Crush?

Black Widow... Obviously. If Nat would have me I’d drop Bucky in a heartbeat. Have you seen that thing she does with her thighs? That’s how I wanna die.

Sitting down with Deathwave was just as inspiring as I had expected. Since the details of her past were revealed to the world she has become a symbol of hope to people everywhere. She is a hero, of that there is no doubt but what truly makes her an inspiration is the fact that she reminds us all of what we can be.

Who you are and where you came from doesn’t decide where you are going to go. That choice is up to you and you alone. No matter the challenges you face in life, big or small, they can be overcome.

Setback only set you back, they don’t stop you. People will stand in your way but they can be moved. You are the hero of your own story.

We are all the heroes of our own stories.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AUTHORS NOTE

This was mostly fun to write but there is a lot of of it that came directly from my heart. I’ve made no secret about how Docherty was based on real people who hurt me so the advice Baby Stark gives to abuse survivors is what I would say to those of you who it applies to and I mean every fucking word.

If you are or were in a situation of abuse, be it mental, physical, sexual or other then please consider my inbox a safe space to talk if you ever need it.

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real–wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz@dugan365@fluffeh-kitty@memanda17 @krystallynx@theonelittleone@piscesbarnes@free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard@dropthepizza346@jaynnanadrews@likes-to-smell-books@drdorkus @life-wanderer@metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky@jsmith509@chipilerendi@nerdy-bookworm-1998@ericasabe@gravedollie666@madlykpopfan@l0kisbitch@mywinterwolf@sassysweetstories @life-wanderer @jessieray98@littledeadrottinghood @firefly-in-darkness @demonlover87 @jessieray98 @pinkisokay @chipilerendi

#hattersmarvelverse #Bucky x Reader #Bucky Barnes

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rightisntalwayseasy · 6 years ago

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My thoughts on Endgame

Obviously, Spoilers under the cut.

I SAID SPOILERS

For the most part, I enjoyed it. It is not my favorite, but it was a nice bookend to the current Phases of the MCU.

I loved Barton. He was a badass through and through, and I related because I do would go on an endless five year murder spree if I lost my family, blood or chosen. I loved his fight with Natasha, and I loved his INK, oh my god did I love his ink. I still don’t like the family they gave him, cause I’d rather have Clintasha and a dog, but for the MCU, it ended pretty solidly, so I was here for it. I was also here because WE GOT HAWKEYE A LOT and it was good.

I loved Professor Hulk. My boyfriend, who is my Bruce, did not, but I understand his reasoning. I loved how mellow he was, it was great. and I loved his astral form with the Ancient One. Basically my boy Hulk did no wrong, and I loved that he was so genuinely confused with the Ant Man scene where he kept shifting ages.

I liked that Tony got a child. But there was no way he was going to get to keep her, so either the time jump was going to erase her, or he was going to die. Not that surprising. She was still a sweetheart, and I adored her. I disliked how About Tony this movie was. It was a split between Iron Man 5 and Civil War: Here We Go Again. But again, that hasn’t surprised me since RDJ has been the face of the MCU. And I’m glad his time is over, so he can rest. And give the rest of the characters a chance. I also have disliked Gwenyth Paltrow as Pepper Potts for a while, but that’s a personal taste thing.

PTSD!Thor was exactly what I was expecting- and more. And so very fucking relatable. I’ve been there, done that, got several T-Shirts, and to see him be redeemed by the end, to still be worthy of his hammers, to still be able to get his braids and his armor and battle it with the rest was stunning and amazing, and I’m so proud of him for listening to his mother.

Frigga is an amazing mother.

Loki is a little shit. And I don’t like that they left the plot hole open with him having the Tessract again. it was so in character, but goddammit, just stop that. And going back to the 70s to fix it? Look, another opportunity for Tony to be the focus (even with the lazy effort to bring Peggy back into the mix for Steve. More on that later). I did love the little Jarvis cameo, because my SWEET BRITISH BABY.

Natasha is my other brain cell from Marvel. She is my self when I talk to my boyfriend when I’m not being Steve (we are several characters to each other. it’s great). I loved her arch. i love that she took command, and that others listened to her. I love that she grew out her hair and had two toned hair because she was doing so much. And as much as it hurt me, I love that she was the one who gave herself up for the soul stone, to save everyone else. I knew it was coming but goddamn. I’m proud of my girl. She did so much good.

There was not nearly enough Carol Danvers in this movie. BUT I GOT MY SHORT HAIRED CAPTAIN MARVEL, AND I AM IN LOVE THANKS I’M TOO BI FOR THIS.

And then we come to my beloved Steve Rogers. My sweet, idiot, amazingly powerful and worthy bean. WHO CARRIED AND FOUGHT THANOS WITH A BROKEN SHIELD AND MJOLNIR. Who was my flannel wearing badass bi. Who Who admired his own ass. Who kept fighting no matter what. Who bestest HYDRA at their own game. Who I loved throughout this whole movie. So much. EXCEPT. E X C E P T. for that final fucking scene. Which was so much BULLSHIT to me.

I love Steggy. I love it so much. Peggy Carter is a goddess and I adore her. HOWEVER.

there has only been prolonged romance between Steve and Peggy in the movies. After the ice, he was alone. Then in CA: TWS he found her, but she was dying, so he was comfort (enter the poorly contrived film relationship with Sharon), and he found Bucky again. In CACW she died, and he went to her funeral. And he found Bucky again, and put him under in Wakanda. At least in Infinity war, we got a little bit of their relationship (Steve’s and Bucky’s), but again, there were more important things. And then Bucky got dusted, as did Sam. Steve lost most of the family he had left AGAIN.

SO FOR HIM TO UP AND GO BACK IN TIME AFTER RETURNING THE STONES TO LIVE OUT HIS LIFE WITH PEGGY GODDAMN CARTER WAS A LAZY AND HALF ASSED ATTEMPT TO FORCE A HETERO RELATION SHIP WITH PEGGY CARTER JUST TO AVOID MORE AFFECTION WITH BUCKY AFTER BUCKY HAD JUST GOTTEN BACK WAS ANGRYING. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE “I took Tony’s advice and got some life.” (when has he ever taken Tony’s advice?) Because he was there for the lecture. he knew that multiple timelines could happen. And I’ve had some argue to me that he and Bucky probably had some time together before Steve returned the stones, but it wasn’t on screen so it doesn’t fucking count. (also here’s more thoughts here https://www.thewrap.com/avengers-endgame-that-final-captain-america-scene-makes-no-sense-peggy-carter-time-retirement/ )

I had 0 problem with Sam getting the shield though. He’s ready and he deserves it, and I’m very proud of him, cannot wait for Falcon!Cap.

But that leads me to my other issue. They didn’t give us any proper time to celebrate the return of the Dusted, except for Peter, but that was just so Peter could have a tearful farewell with Tony. Again, all about Tony. and Loki, who was supposed to be dead and gone, had more screen time and lines than Bucky, or half of the other Dusted. (though T’Challa and Wanda are badasses and i want to be them when I grow up.)

IDK. I know Marvel is a bunch of cowards, but you don’t even need to give me sappy Stucky. Just let them be close, let them be friends, LET THEM BE EACH OTHER’S FAMILY. STOP MAKING US SIT THROUGH PAINFULLY CONTRIVED HETERO ROMANCES, WHEN THIS ONE PRACTICALLY WROTE ITSELF.

and if one more person says “well they weren’t gay in the comics” i’m gonna deck someone. If one more person tells me that we don’t need more LGBT superheroes, I’m gonna ask why not, because so far we’ve had bit players, or “assumed” LBGTQ characters (looking at you Captain Marvel), but we have not had leading role LGBTQ characters. Except for Deadpool 1 and 2, but the MCU doesn’t get credit for that.

SO GIVE ME MY QUEER SUPER HEROES YOU COWARDS.

but over all I’d give it probably a 6.5/7 out of ten. Marvel still owns my ass, but I’m gonna be all about the Buckys and Sams and Bruces for a bit. I’ll still play with Peggys, but I’m real upset ALSO about how they used her as a romantic interest and only that continually in the MCU, with a small exception for her role in Agent Carter.

ANYHOW. i’m done. if you got spoiled by this, I’m not sorry. there were warnings. And ya’ll can keep your disagreements to yourself, thanks.

#avengers endgame #a4: endgame #endgame #endgame spoilers #this is not spoiler free

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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years ago

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The Passcode

Prompt by Anonymous: Okay, so I've read a lot of wonderful bodyguard AUs with these two, but it is always Bucky as the bodyguard (understandably). Anyone up for trying the reverse, Tony as Bucky's bodyguard somehow? Maybe it's an AU where Iron Man's identity isn't known, and when Bucky for some reason or another (maybe he isn't even the WS, maybe he's just suddenly famous and/or in danger) needs a bodyguard, Tony sends his own personal one - the Iron Man.

A/N: I’ve opted for a 616-kinda setting, but not really? It’s come out more like a mix of MCU and 616 and I don’t even know how that happened...but anyway ;D Secret identities are a thing and Tony (and Bucky) is a pining mess ^^ Hope you’ll enjoy it! <3 ~Lantia

“You want me to…what?” Tony stares at the Captain like he grew three extra heads.

“It would be temporary, just until we locate the HYDRA strain and deal with it,” Cap raises a placating hand and initiates the puppy dog eyes he refuses to admit he has.

Not even half a year after Bucky Barnes - the Winter Soldier joined the fold, HYDRA is already scheming to get their former assassin back. So Cap may stand here and sound all casual but Tony’s not fooled.

He’s anxious and worried and wants to wipe HYDRA off Barnes’s back as soon as possible…because God forbid they would succeed and get their slimy tentacles back on the man.

“But if Iron Man is otherwise engaged - ”

“No! I mean…I’ll have to double-check with him but I’m sure he’ll make some space in his busy schedule after I lay down the situation to him.”

It’s times like these Tony wished everybody would know he is Iron Man. Or at least the Avengers. As it is, Cap’s sweating it over here thinking Tony will refuse to let Iron Man bodyguard his bestest friend until HYDRA’s dealt with because Tony and Barnes aren’t exactly friends.

That’s where the split personality sets in. Iron Man and Bucky are friends. They hang out after missions all the time. No way Iron Man wouldn’t lend a helping hand to his metal bro and aside from Cap, Iron Man is the only one Bucky would voluntarily spend time with.

Tony is…well, he’s just the eccentric engineer that has a giant hidden crush on the former HYDRA assassin and occasionally fixes up his metal hand so Cap really has no reason to believe he’d go out of his way to help Barnes beyond that.

These secret identity shenanigans are giving him a headache.

“But if you need him - ”

“Cap! It’s fine. I’ve got no big plans ahead other than working on the new version of the armor and I don’t need Iron Man to cover my ass while doing that. In fact, I don’t want him anywhere near the lab…the guy’s a menace around tech,” he laughs, a little too high-pitched for his own liking but Capsicle pays it little attention.

“I’ll owe you one, Tony. A big one,” he smiles at him, squeezing his shoulder gently.

“Hey now, anything for friends. Besides, Iron Man is going to do all the work so take it up with him,” Tony shrugs.

“I will. Thank you, Tony.”

Another mission, another week of pretense to get ready for. Just his luck.

(read-more ahead!)

“I told Stevie I don’t need no bodyguard,” Bucky rolls his eyes, but greets him – the Iron Man – with a smile the next day on the common floor.

“He didn’t want to lock you up…which was the only other option. And it’s not like I mind. Any HYDRA that dares slither near us I’ll happily blast away to dust.”

He chuckles, flipping a gun into his thigh holster. “You and I both, man. Stark okay with this?”

Is he okay with this? Nope. He needs Bucky to stop calling him Stark. And more importantly, he needs to stop these…these…feelings. “Pffft, sure. Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Dunno. I don’t think he likes me very much.”

Is this guy for real?! Tony’s been positively giving him the bedroom eyes for months!

Behind his back. Secretly and cowardly. God dammit.

“If he didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here,” he points at himself, the entire sentence entangling his brain with its ridiculousness. There’s only so many more times he can refer to himself in third person while pretending to not be himself before he goes certifiably insane. “Even if he didn’t like you, I doubt he would hate you enough to let HYDRA just have a go at you. The man hates HYDRA with a passion.”

Bucky hums, not looking very persuaded. “Anyway, we’ve got a hella lot of time on our hands…I’m thinkin’ we make the most of it. Any ideas?” he grins.

A wide range of variously dirty ideas, yes. “No video games. Thor is destroying enough controllers for all of us, I don’t need Tony on my back because of that too.” Not to mention Bucky is way too good at Mortal Combat.

“Movie?”

“The last time I checked, you like Star Wars. I don’t want to be seen watching that anywhere in this time, space and dimension.”

“A TV show then.”

“If you say Star Trek, I will puke all over the inside of this armor.”

“Widow recommended somethin’ new to me a while back…what was it…a Game of Dragons?”

Tony laughs, moving on to the sofa. Leave it to Widow to have some proper cinematic sense…and sense of humor. How many times do they say ‘Winter is coming’ in there again? “Game of Thrones. Sure. I’m up to re-watch that. JARVIS?”

“I shall queue up the first season for you then.”

They sit down, lifting their feet on the coffee table – since Cap is nowhere around to scold them about it – and JARVIS rolls the intro.

“Winter is coming? Seriously?” Bucky laughs at the title of the first episode, but enjoys watching the rest of it anyway.

They spend the next few days in the Tower – watching TV, sparring in the gym, having lazy conversations over ice coffee. With majority of the Avengers deployed to deal with the HYDRA problem, they’re mostly left alone.

Spiderman hangs out with them one afternoon after school – that he still stubbornly denies to still be attending, Wolverine goes for a couple rounds with Bucky in the gym and Deadpool drops on them out of nowhere after they’ve had a couple of drinks and were failing at karaoke - singing Careless whisper with them…twice.

Cap keeps them updated on the mission and by the looks of it they’re hot on HYDRA’s tail. Tony’s both relieved and…disappointed. Cap’s efficient work means there will no longer be a threat to Bucky’s wellbeing – that they know of – and so there will be no need for Iron Man’s services anymore. Which is good. Bucky safe and sound is good.

Tony will have to find another excuse to keep the man company – preferably one that doesn’t include imminent threat of kidnapping or death.

So much for him being the cocky flyboy flirting with everything that moves…when it comes to Bucky, he’s completely useless.

It’s easy to quip with him in the armor. Bucky likes Iron Man. Tony on the other hand…just the idea of striking up a friendly conversation with him as Tony is…scary. He never did good with rejection after all. And it would be the worst…to be accepted as Iron Man, rejected as Tony. As if he’s two people instead of one.

It’s all over on day six.

“We got them, Iron Man! We secured the base, got all the evidence we need and when Widow’s done with the agents, we’ll have even more.”

“That’s…great news! Well, take your time, Cap. We’ll be waiting for ya right here,” he tells him, hanging up on the call after Cap gives him an ETA of their return.

In few hours, the HYDRA scum are going to be stuffed in prison and the Avengers will return victorious. They’ll celebrate, Iron Man will make some likely excuse to why Tony wouldn’t be attending – not that he expects to be invited – and by tomorrow morning, Tony will be locking himself up in the lab for a week, moping like a lovesick teenager.

When did he get this pathetic?

Before his brain can conjure up some disturbing reply, Bucky appears in his line of sight, beer in hand. “Everythin’ alright?”

“Uh…yeah. Everything is…perfect. Cap and the team found the HYDRA base and are in the middle of raiding it as we speak,” he tries going for a happy tone, failing quite miserably. The helmet does have its uses at times like these. His face would betray way too much right now.

“Oh,” Bucky frowns, which is definitely not the reaction Tony is expecting. “I mean, yeah, that’s…good. So. How about we start the celebration of mission well done a lil’ early?”

“Sure…looks like you already started,” he points at the beer.

“Heh. Anyway…we could invite Stark up here. Did he even leave the lab for one second in these past few days? Or is he back to working himself into oblivion on some fancy new tech stuff?”

“Yep, you said it. There’s no bringing him out of the lab when he’s working on an exciting project. What do you say, JARVIS? Think Tony might be up for a party?”

Poor JARVIS had to get used to this hidden identity bullshit as well. He finds it amusing most of all. That little…

“Uhm…JARVIS?” Bucky frowns at the lack of a reply from the AI and unbeknownst to him, so does Tony.

“JARVIS! Report,” he demands but the comms remain ominously quiet.

“That ain’t good,” Bucky whips up a knife out of nowhere, grabbing onto his forearm and trying to push him out of the open.

Tony doesn’t budge. He has the perfect view of the hallway leading to the emergency stairwell exits and that’s why he sees it coming. It being three different grenades flying their way. Without JARVIS to do some quick thinking for him, he pushes Bucky as far away from the expected impact as he can, shielding him with the entirety of his body.

A flashbang goes off first, followed quickly by two explosions. What are they trying to do?! Get the Winter Soldier back in pieces?!

He stands up, repulsors at the ready while Bucky scrambles behind the sofa for cover – and the gun conveniently hidden underneath it. They shower the hallway in gun and repulsor fire, keeping the intruders at bay.

Just as Tony makes his way towards the stairwell to introduce them to Iron Man’s fists up close, a deafening explosion rings throughout the room, shattering all the windows and sending him flying against a wall.

A wave of HYDRA agents flood the room from both the stairwell and the outside – likely coming down from the roof and before Tony can get back on his feet and blast them all to hell, they’re surrounded and most – if not all – of their weapons pointed at Bucky.

Those bastards came prepared, he curses, his brain already going through possible ways out of their predicament.

“Better stand down, trash can. Or your buddy’s toast,” one of the agents steps up to him, hands in his pockets – must be the wannabe leader.

“Better toast than back with HYDRA,” Bucky spits, his gun sill pointed at the closest agent in front of him.

Tony would prefer neither option. But there’s too many of them. Even if he targets them all, chances are one of them gets a lucky shot…and that’s all it takes. He lowers the repulsors – they are not his only weapon after all and this way he might get some more time. Maybe…hopefully…

Bucky growls, definitely not approving of the gesture. “Just shoot ‘em all, Iron Man!”

“Good move,” the leader snickers, taking another step toward him. “Now…you’re going to tell me the passcode to Tony Stark’s lab.”

“What?!” Bucky blurts out, the gun flying sideways to aim at the leader.

“What?” Tony frowns, confused more than anything else.

“You think we bothered with all of this just for you?” the man glances at Bucky. “Nah…now that we’re here, we’ll be leaving with everything we can get. So,” he turns back to him. “Surely Stark’s very own bodyguard knows the code to get into the lab. Turns out just disabling the AI isn’t enough to get in there.”

Despite the situation, Tony finds himself grinning from ear to ear. “What do you want with Stark?” he asks, trying to hide his mirth.

“Oh this and that. Now, trash bucket. The code or we’re shooting this one through and through.”

He would usually point out how ridiculous that threat is – if they were to do that, he would just shoot them all and they’d get nothing. But Tony would lose…everything. So he keeps his mouth shut and instead focuses on the tiny plan already taking shape in his head.

“That’s a little greedy of you, isn’t it? Tell you what…I’ll give you the passcode,” he offers, ignoring the pair of widened eyes that pierce through him. “Take Stark, do whatever the hell you want with him…but you’ll leave Barnes here.”

“Hell no,” the former assassin growls some more, this time deep and threatening.

The leader smirks. “Done.”

“No! You can’t do that!” Bucky yells at him.

“I can and I will,” Tony shrugs, noting the sting of betrayal in Bucky’s voice. “How do I know you’ll honor your end of this bargain?”

“If we get Stark, what’s the point of having this…broken thing,” the man sneers at Bucky. “He’s obsolete. And we’re looking for a new model, if you know what I mean. Stark can provide us with that and more.”

“Fair enough.”

“What are you…you’re supposed to protect him!”

“Yeah…I’m tired of doing everything he tells me, what am I, his slave? Stark’s a jerk and a damn handful…chances are, you’re not even gonna want him once you find that out for yourself,” he tells the leader, ignoring Bucky altogether.

“You owe him…everything! He made you!”

Oh Buckaroo, you have no idea. “Exactly. And I don’t need him anymore,” he gives Bucky a look, the neutral face of the helmet betraying nothing.

The amount of hurt and disbelieve on his face is painful to see…and at the same time interesting. It would almost seem like he cares. About Tony. Which is unexpected, but plays right into his hands.

“We have a deal then, Iron Man,” the leader finally addresses him properly and they shake hands.

“The code is 12161991,” he tells him, barely containing his grin.

The leader nods at his lackeys. “You and your team stay here – just as a precaution of course. Once we have Stark, we’re out of here before the Avengers get back.”

Just as Tony predicted, most of the agents move along with the leader, which leaves only seven agents guarding them. And seven is much better than twenty. He can work with seven. They can.

Despite the raging schizophrenia he’s beginning to sport because of their hidden identities, they are good for something after all. Everybody knows Tony Stark is the genius – and Iron Man is just a guy in a can. If they knew Tony Stark is in fact inside the armor, nobody would ever be so easily fooled by him into anything, under no circumstances. This way, he is being underestimated from the get go.

Perfect.

“How could you!” the now quite furious supersoldier growls at him, the gun actually pointed at him. “I thought…I thought…,” he trails off, his steely gaze never wavering though. “If anything happens to him, I’ll never forgive you!”

Tony reels back, falling out of character for a second before JARVIS’s voice brings him back to the mission at hand.

“Emergency reboot complete, Sir. I have regained control over the armor’s systems but I’m afraid my systems in the Tower are still not fully functional.”

“Never mind that, just target these assholes and let’s get this over with, J!” he commands only for JARVIS to hear.

The targeting initiates, locking onto all but one of the agents – the one positioned behind Bucky.

Tony tries maneuvering to the side a little but the still furious assassin moves with him. Looks like he has no other choice.

“Nothing will happen to him,” he says carefully, eyeing the agents for suspicious reactions.

“Do you have any idea what they’re gonna do to him?!”

“Bucky…”

“This is HYDRA! Not some wannabe villains of the week!”

“Snowflake?”

“If they get away with h - ” he pauses, blinking at him. A small frown caresses his forehead as he stares at Tony.

“You must be a real special kinda snowflake to jam a screwdriver up your arm thinking you could fix it,” Tony says, echoing the first sentence he’s ever told the assassin.

Not Iron Man. Tony.

Bucky cocks his head to the side, eyes narrowed before they widen with realization.

“Sorry, you were probably about to shoot me. So why don’t you get down to it?” Tony adds and it only takes a second for the assassin to register the command and drop to the floor, leaving the last agent exposed to the armor’s gunfire.

It happens fast from there on. The agents have just enough time to look surprised before JARVIS deploys the shots against the locked on targets and a moment later, they are mere corpses on the ground.

“Targets neutralized,” JARVIS confirms.

“Thanks, J. You’re the best. Let me know when you’re a hundred percent back online.”

“Will do, Sir.”

Bucky gathers himself up from the floor, glancing around at the carnage before his gaze rests on Tony. Before either of them can speak up, the steady hum of the quinjet sounds from the outside and the room is suddenly full of very concerned-looking Avengers.

“Is everyone okay?!” Cap approaches them, glaring at the corpses. “We got here as fast as we could after Widow got the intel on their plan B.”

Right…back to Iron Man mode.

“Was this supposed to be it?” he waves at the dead agents. “So much for plan B, I’d say.”

“There should be more of them,” Widow warns them, still in full alert.

“Yeah, they’re in Stark’s lab,” he shrugs.

“What?!” Cap blurts out. “How did they get there?”

Tony sighs, raising his hands defensively. “Just relax, okay? They got a bit greedy and wanted Stark as well as the Winter Soldier…so I gave them the passcode to the lab that lets them in but also triggers a trap, locking them in there.”

“With Tony?!”

What’s with the supersoldiers today?! “He flew to London this morning. Some emergency SI business or something.”

Cap breathes out, nodding. “Good. Let’s go take care of the rest of them then.”

“Lead the way, Captain,” he prompts him and they all head down to the lab, subduing the now very salty wannabe leader and his minions.

For a week, Tony successfully evades the former HYDRA soldier. He even stoops as low as having JARVIS make sure the coast is clear whenever he emerges from the lab to go to the kitchen for snacks and coffee. It’s not like he wants to avoid him. But there are certain conversations he is so not ready to have, no matter how helpful they would be in the long run.

In fact, there’s not much to converse about anyway. Bucky knows.

There’s no way he doesn’t know, unless he has a brain the size of a peanut. Like Hawkeye. Nope. Bucky knows. So Tony sticks to his ninja play and spends his days sulking in the lab.

Maybe he should go on a vacation as well. If Iron Man can go on a vacation, why can’t he? He is Iron Man!

And if that isn’t the source of all his problems ever, he doesn’t know what is.

When he returns to the lab one evening with a Hulk-sized mug of coffee in hand, he almost spills it all over the workbench when he spots a certain soldier lurking in the shadows in front of him.

“The fuck - ” he places a palm over the arc reactor, the frantic beating of his heart drumming through the reactor’s calming hum. “Where did you come from?!” The lab can’t be accessed any other way than through the doors and with the correct passcode. Not unless someone dares to wiggle through the vents – now impassably rigged with tripwires and explosives, since a certain purple-clad superhero decided to use them instead of hallways.

Bucky emerges from the darkness with one of his rare huge smirks and nods at the entrance. “The door?”

“You don’t have the passcode!” he glares at him.

“I have a passcode. 12161991?”

Son of bitch. That’s…resourceful. “Why would you wanna lock yourself in here, you weirdo?”

“Because you’re here,” he shrugs, the smirk turning toothy.

“O…kay?”

“Thought it’s the perfect opportunity…with Iron Man on that vacation of his. He better send me a postcard or somethin’.”

He stares at Bucky like he’s just grown a second head, which only makes him smirk harder.

“Better be a good fucking postcard. In the meantime, I’m thinkin’ dinner. You, me, burgers…milkshakes?”

“Wh – what?!” he blurts out, shaking his head as if trying to wake up from this Twilight zone he fell into.

Bucky sighs, the smirk easing into a soft smile never before seen on his face. “You really think I jammed a screwdriver into my arm because I was trying to repair it? Who do you think I am, Hawkeye?! And what was the excuse after this one? That I tried stopping elevator doors with the arm and that’s why it looked like it’s been almost split in half with a vibranium shield? It was the shield…and it didn’t just slip from my hand either, I slammed it down real damn hard. The doombots didn’t even touch the arm the week after that, I actually stuck that bot claw into it myself and then the excuses to come down here to hang out with you got even more ridiculous.”

“You…what?!”

“I like you, you jerk,” he rolls his eyes, folding his hands over his chest, metal intertwined with flesh. “How much more obvious do I gotta get?! So when you just…ignored me, hell even flirted with everyone but me I figured there’s no chance. Guy can take a hint, you know?” he shrugs, the smile turning sad for a moment. “That said…I really can take a hint.”

Tony forces his brain to finally start working again and quickly absorbs everything the man has just said.

He knows.

And instead of interrogating him about it or demanding explanations he’s…he’s…using the newfound information to apparently continue flirting with Tony and actually asking him out. On a dinner date.

Tony. Not Iron Man.

Well, technically both, because he knows…he knows.

Tony emits a startled chuckle, lips twitching into a grin. “Uhm…I uh…guess I can be an idiot sometimes? Like, one out of a million times. Which isn’t really that often. Of course it isn’t, because I’m a genius after all. We do get to be stupid every now and then. Every ten years maybe, or twe - ”

“Tony?” Bucky interrupts his ramble, still with that stupidly perfect smile directed at him.

He could listen to the man saying his name like that all day. Or forever.

“Yeah?”

“What about that dinner?”

“Wh…dude. That rant a second ago? That was me saying hell yes I wanna go to a dinner with you…how obvious do I gotta get?!” he laughs, becoming unusually shy under the intense look Bucky’s inspecting him with.

“Hella obvious,” he winks and slips past Tony, lingering close to him on the way towards the doors, shoulders only just touching.

Metal and flesh.

“I’ll pick ye up in an hour,” Bucky looks back before JARVIS lets him out of the lab, leaving Tony absentmindedly nodding, staring at the door.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe being just Tony beats being Iron Man. And maybe being both…and being seen as both isn’t as climactic as he thought it would be or have to be.

Because Bucky likes him – in and out of the can. And for tonight, that’s all that matters.

~Fin

#prompts #winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #Lantia

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britesparc · 6 years ago

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Weekend Top Ten #373

Top Ten Thoughts on Avengers: Endgame

Spoilers ahoy!

It’s the end of an era as Avengers: Endgame is finally upon us. As I write this, I’m less than 24 hours out of the cinema and it’s still all percolating within my brain. This Top Ten, then, will be an almost stream-of-consciousness outpouring of my joy, sadness, and occasional twinge of disappointment at what is unquestionably a phenomenal end to the Infinity Saga, a satisfying sequel to Infinity War, and a whole lot of fan-service.

Like I said: SPOILERS AHOY.

“Five Years Later”: it was a long film. Three hours long. but crucially, it does not feel three hours. It feels big, weighty, epic, but it does not feel long. to say it’s considerably longer than the previous Avengers movies, it just flies by. In this way, it’s similar to the Lord of the Rings movies; breadth and depth but still a lot of pace.

“Move on”: the five-year time-jump was a little bit of a surprise (I didn’t think it would be quite that long), but it helped sell a universe torn apart by the aftermath of The Snap. What I was not expecting was for them to live with it. Okay, so the departed people came back, but won’t that cause its own problems? This is not the world we entered in 2008 when Tony Stark was blown up in the desert; it’s not even the world we left in 2012 after a stunted alien invasion of New York. Some people will have tried to move on, perhaps forging new relationships, just to find their old lovers returned. Younger siblings will suddenly become older siblings. People will have lost jobs and houses. It’s rather fortunate that, from the looks of things, Peter Parker’s entire class was snapped out of existence and then returned, otherwise he’d be a lot younger than his co-stars in Far From Home. Anyway, not just undoing the time-jump was a brave decision and sets the stage for some potentially interesting stories going forward.

“It has to be me”: I went in expecting deaths, and I was surprised. I was expecting a bloodbath, and it was actually relatively muted. I was surprised that Vision didn’t get resurrected, less surprised that Gamora (sort of) did, astounded that Nebula survived, and blindsided by Black Widow. I don’t think it’s just because she’s got her own movie out next year, but I honestly thought Black Widow would become the lynchpin of a post-Captain America Avengers team. Hey, who knows? Maybe she will…

“I really tried to bring her back”: this is actually my mum’s theory (she’s a big Avengers fan), but what if Bruce was successful? When he snapped his fingers, he wanted to resurrect Natasha, but claims he was unsuccessful. What if he’s wrong, and she is back, somehow? Perhaps compromised, perhaps changed? Maybe her solo film will be about bringing her back to the light.

“I knew it!”: I was practically crying with giddy joy when Cap lifted Mjolnir. The fact that Thor had expected it, and was actually pleased by it, was just delightful. But Cap’s fight with Thanos, armed with both his shield and Thor’s hammer, was just a fantastic piece of fan-servicing fantasy cinema. I kinda wished they’d gone whole hog and given him his own Iron Man armour to boot.

“Your majesty”: Thor’s development in this film was interesting, as he was almost used as comic relief. His depression made total sense given not only that he blamed himself for not stopping Thanos in time, but also the scale of the loss he’d suffered prior to, and during, Infinity War. All the same, it was a bit of shame to see the character he’d developed in Ragnarok rolled back a little bit, even if it does set him up for some nice solo adventures down the line (perhaps he’ll feature in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, and I really hope Taika Waititi gets to make another Thor solo movie too). But considering how Loki stole the show in the first Thor and Avengers movies, and how The Dark World and Age of Ultron were a little disappointing (in different ways) in regard to the God of Thunder, the strength of Thor’s story arc and what’s being asked of Chris Hemsworth in the role is a huge improvement and bodes well for the future.

“I am Iron Man”: if I’d put money down, I’d have said Cap dies for-real in the film, but Tony gets his own stand-alone Logan-esque swansong. That was not to be; Cap survives, sorta, and Tony really does make the sacrifice play and die saving the world. Whilst I’m disappointed he didn’t get to say goodbye on his own terms, as far as last stands go, that was phenomenal. A great call-back to one of the most famous moments in the MCU, a brilliant use of his OP armour’s capabilities, and just a really cool image. Totally Tony, totally Avengers, totally the end. Sob.

“You gonna tell me about her?” Steve Rogers totally deserved his happy ending, and if he hadn’t somehow ended up with Peggy Carter, then I’d have been a little bit disappointed. But I just don’t buy that Captain America would choose to retire. Did he get stuck in the past? Did he decide to fight crime in the 40s and 50s? And if so, did he try to do anything about Bucky or Hydra? Or did he know that that future was his past and so, as Bruce and Nebula explained, he was powerless to change it? Regardless, the fact that what we saw in the film was, essentially, Cap quitting, it left a slightly sour taste in the mouth, even though him handing the shield to Sam was a triumphant passing of the torch. Oh, and one more thought on this topic: in the Russo brothers’ first film for Marvel (The Winter Soldier), Peggy says something about how Steve was even instrumental in introducing her to her husband (I paraphrase); I wonder if, even back then, the endgame (ho ho) for Cap was always going to be “go back in time and marry Peggy”?

“That really is America’s ass”: let’s not get too mired in the mud here, despite my “Cap don’t quit!” niggles. Because as big and epic and tragic as the film was, it was also hilarious. I really didn’t expect it to be quite as funny as it was (I’m not sure why, all the previous Avengers movies have been pretty funny). I was quite pleased at how much humour Captain America was given; his exasperated “I know, I know” when his younger self trotted out the “I can do this all day line” was another delight.

“Assemble”: just like Cap wielding Mjolnir, there’s a certain geeky thrill just to hear him say those words. But the army of Avengers emerging from Strange’s portals was a phenomenal sight to behold, and it’s really exciting to see where the MCU goes from here. Captain Marvel has essentially declared her domain to be space; likewise, Thor is off with the Guardians for the time being; Black Panther is busy being King of Wakanda; Iron Man and Black Widow are dead. So who do we have, the next time the Avengers need to Assemble? Sam Wilson’s Captain America; the Scarlet Witch; Spider-Man; And-Man and the Wasp; The Winter Soldier, maybe; I guess Doctor Strange; perhaps Valkyrie? And then save the big guns for when they’re needed? Anyway, it’s just fun speculating at this stage.

Okay, there we are, ten thoughts off the top of my head. It’s funny sometimes that a movie can be so bloody good but the thing that sticks is the niggles (like, where was Lady Sif at the end?! And I feel bad that they couldn’t find room for Paul Bettany just so he could get a lovely little pictorial send-off in the credits). It’s such an achievement, the likes of which I don’t think we’ve seen before and I wonder if we’ll see again. Just in the same way that Avengers united several heroes who’d (mostly) starred in their own movies, and we got to see them join up and interact in a way that cinema hadn’t shown before, Endgame gives us an epic series finale of a film, one that is dependent upon the 21 films that came before it and the hours and hours of character development devoted to its stars. Where do they go from here? Which heroes get their sequels, which new heroes do they recruit? Will we ever see more of Steve Rogers? Will a new generation – Squirrel Girl, Ms. Marvel, Ironheart – take centre stage? What will be the over-arching connective tissue that, in ten years’ time, leads to another epoch-shattering Avengers smackdown? And how – how, how, how – do they incorporate Deadpool, the Fantastic Four, and the X-Men?! I’ve no idea (well, I’ve got lots of ideas but they’re probably wrong) – but it’ll sure be fun finding out.

Oh, and there’s still no sign of Death’s Head.

#top ten #marvel #mcu #avengers #avengers endgame #spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers

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sporadic-writer · 6 years ago

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What's in a name?

I made an OC character. Let’s pretend that everything worked out after Endgame. Or like.. things worked out after Civil War and this is before it all went to shit. This is more of an intro mainly. I honestly don’t really know where I’m goin with this. Also, eventually Bucky x OC.

Word count - 1424

Warnings - some swearing I guess, bad first time writing?

Tony walks into the common area of the Avengers tower. Everyone was all lounging about and not paying any mind to anything in particular.

“Alrighty team. We got a couple of visitors coming up in a bit. So look alive! Not that Wade needs your upmost attention, or respect, but they have info we need.”

“Wait. Wade Wilson? As in that annoying fool Deadpool?” Sam asks. Tony nods in response, “Ha! This will be fun! Is she coming too?”

“Yes, yes she is. The X-Men still think he needs a babysitter, which isn’t wrong. But she’s respectable and has a lot of experience under her belt. Acts pretty casual for nearly being a century old, but she keeps the connection between us and them.”

“She’s hot too!” Sam pipes up eagerly to add that in for the group. The others mainly just roll their eyes or scoff while slightly nodding in agreement.

Steve has a questionable look on his face, “I didn’t know E was nearly 100.”

“Who is E guys?” Peter Parker meekly askes from the couch next to Bucky, who has the same curious look on his face.

“Oh, she’s a vet like the Crypt Keepers here,” Tony explains while pointing to Bucky and Steve. “The main difference is that she was never frozen. Oh! And she has powers. Controlling the elements and all that. I see the look on your face, to answer your question; the stuff Hydra and the Nazis did to her during the war kept her alive. But she’s cool about it so don’t get morbid on my ass. Ok?”

Peter and everyone else nods in understanding. Tony tells them that they will be at the Tower within the hour. Everyone just goes back to doing what they were doing before.

About 45 minutes later, the elevator dings and two people walk out. The first people see, or hear rather, is the Merc with the Mouth announcing his presence. Followed by a woman who smirks and rolls her eyes.

“No no! Don’t get up people, especially since some of you are quite old. Wouldn’t want anyone to bust a hip on my behalf. Ow! E don’t hit me! And don’t look at me like that! Fine.. I’ll behave.”

The silver hair woman catches everyone off guard. Mainly because she kept Wade Wilson in line. But also, because she doesn’t look at day over 25 for someone who is nearly 100 years old. She just scoffs and looks around.

“No, you physically cannot behave. You’re an asshole who must always be a smart alec. I’m sorry for him, now and anything he will do. I’m E.” She goes to shake hands with those closest to her.

“What does E stand for?” Peter askes from the back of the group.

“That is private, personal information. I keep that to myself” She shifts on her feet while continuing to explain. “Everyone takes their guess though, so I assume you will eventually right?” Peter shrugs in agreement.

“Right, now that we have all met ‘White Storm’ can we get on with the information sharing? I have an Amazing World of Gumball marathon to get back to while getting cuddly with Beast.”

E laughs out loud and moves toward the conference room. “Jesus I hate you sometimes. But he’s right, we should handle this.” She struts off while a confident sway in her hips, the men in the rooms following without thinking. The women admire her presence and chuckle at the men acting like boys trailing behind her.

About an hour or so later, they all head out of the conference room knowing all information everyone needs to know. Wade made a joke and rolled out after the others invited you to hang out for a bit.

“He has a good heart. It’s just covered in a hard, thick, intense… um obnoxious jackass coating. With a nice dipshit shine.” E looks at the others in the room as they understand, sort of, about her friend’s nature.

“He’s fine. Most of us have gotten used to it. The bonus is just that whenever he visits, you usually follow not far behind.” Sam smiles and flirts with the woman beside him on the couch. Wanda rolls her eyes at his attempt, already knowing she won’t go for it at this time.

Little did everyone know, was that 2 super soldiers were getting drinks and watching this whole thing ensue from the center island.

“Steve, shouldn’t we pull him back?” He surprised himself at the slight hint of jealousy he felt when he had not even had a full conversation with the silver haired woman.

“No, I know E. She’s fine. This is not Sam’s first attempt at making a pass at her. Ha, you should have seen him the New Year’s Eve before Ultron. He got so drunk we had to send him to bed in order to leave her alone. She almost lit him on fire.” As he says this with amused admiration, Bucky’s eyes get wide with both shock and being impressed.

“Careful Sam. Haha now don’t get bummed. You made a pass and I turned it down. No reason we can’t still be friendly,” she says while smirking at the man. “Now, if you excuse me. I am going to go get something to drink.”

“Did you quote a Marilyn Monroe movie just there?” Bucky asks as she heads to the cupboard to get a glass.

“Indeed I did. She’s one of my favorites. I met her in a New York City diner bathroom actually. She’s a delight. Now I just wish someone not from our generation would understand that reference.”

E and Steve settled into idle chat. Bucky was next to them observing the woman for the first real time. He noticed how traits of every decade flowed through her. Grace and sophistication from the 20s through the 50s was noticeable. Her upbringing was clearly not from this time. Spunky charm and free-flowing fun from the 60s and 70s was prevalent in her smile and demeanor. Then, her openness and bright eyes for adventure surely gotten from the 80s to now was also at large. Not only were her eyes bright, but they were purple as well. They were like two gemstones sparkling out. Yet, behind them, he could see the hardships she’s faced. He could see it because it was the same he sees in his own eyes.

“I’ve never seen purple eyes before.” He blurts out without thinking. She smiles while Rhodes mutters a “smooth” behind him while digging in the fridge.

“Yeah, side effect from the testing done on me during the war,” she notes his regretful face for bringing up an intense topic. “No no it is completely fine! I see my look as an upside to all that happened.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get over all of that messed up stuff that happened to you? It took me a long time to get control of the big guy.” Bruce looks timid, but immensely curious in asking.

“For the most part … a huge bag of weed. Picked that trick up in the 60s”

Peter nearly coughs to death from the couch, while Tony makes a comment of this being why he likes her. While Bruce simply takes in the response he was not expecting. Bucky continued to be surprised by her. E explained how it keeps her calm or helps her sleep, adding that it also adds to a good time. Steve’s slight look of disapproval was gone when she shoved his shoulder and told him to loosen up. Everyone fell into a fun rhythm. Eventually though, E had to leave. She stated that there was work to do with the X-Men and she needed to head back. Before leaving, Tony invited her to the event being held next weekend. She eagerly said yes before giving a genuine smile goodbye and heading toward the elevator.

Nat looked at Tony with a questioning face. “We are holding an event next weekend?”

“Yes,” he simply responded. “That way we see more of her, and I get to please the big wigs on Capitol Hill by helping their image by donating to some charities. Just a simple cocktail party with a small little auction. No gala or anything like that.”

They all accepted it was happening, while Bucky was just nervous and excited to see her again. Completely unaware of the future that was in store for him and the team later to come.

Sorry for the bad closing. I’ll continue more if people like this. Also, if ya got a title let me know! I’m blanking on one. Thanks for reading and giving it a shot!

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bluboothalassophile · 7 years ago

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Men, No Matter the Universe...

@titleunwanted I know this might not be entirely what you wanted but I hope you enjoy it all the same! =)

“You can’t be serious?” he sputtered incredulously as he sat with her, his arm slung over her shoulders.

“I’m serious!”

“How could Marvel possibly be inferior to DC?” He sputtered.

“Easy,” she shrugged.

“Elaborate.”

“Marvel has one of the best, and simplest love stories and they go about continuously entangling it and messing it up because they regress the characters, true DC does this, but Marvel has actively tried to destroy Romy. They also attempted to make Captain America; CAPTAIN AMERICA!, and agent of Hydra, which is just a NO on so many levels. And they busted up their best powerhouse couple because of an interest for their story line. Also, they do not do comic story lines unless they can make a huge social or political punch.

“Meanwhile, DC, we have a Romani boy being adopted by a billionaire in the 1930s, we have an island filled with fierce women warriors, who were lesbians, even if that was not socially accepted. We also had cross race and cross species relationships from DC before it was considered ‘cool’ by Marvel. Lois Lane and Clarke Kent aren’t even the same species!

“Now, I will grant you that Marvel has better movies, they have built a better cinematic universe than DC, but they have failed in their shows making them teenage dramas, and soap operas. DC has presented continuously interesting superhero shows that offer daily life problems, an interesting plot, and a true problem with a solution.

“Then there are the DC games which are so plot centric, and have good story lines while also being true to their characters. Their games are also not watered down by Disney to be more children friendly. Which is a nich change because a superheroes world isn’t clean or sweet or watered down. It’s bloody and messy, as you and I know,” she stated.

“Marvel’s still better, they have Bucky,” Jason sniggered.

“You say that, but I’m standing by this world’s DC because they have an actual accurate portrayal of my pain in the ass boyfriend,” she mused.

“You adore me and you know it,” Jason said.

“I like this earth, it’s peaceful,” Raven decided as she closed her eyes and savored the day on Earth-598. There were no heroes on this earth, no dangers that warranted Heroes.

“Cajun, Ah’m tellin’ ya this ain’t our Earth!” a woman snapped. Which had both Jason and Raven looking over at the couple.

A tall, athletic, curvy brunet with white bangs sauntered by, covered head to toe. Green, tight t-shirt that left little to the imagination, a pair of jeans, a long set of white opera gloves, a scarf too, and brown boots. She looked overdressed for the summer’s heat, and some how she looked like she felt naked. The man was a lean, a crop of shaggy auburn hair, something red about his eyes, that Raven saw, and he was wearing a magenta shirt with khakis. He was handsome, almost as handsome as her idiot Bat.

“You worry too much chère,” the man said.

“You don’t worry enough Swamp Rat!” the woman snapped.

“Wrong Earth?” Raven and Jason asked in unison which had the woman and man both whipped around to stare at them, and the woman’s jaw dropped.

“You’re…”

“Real, very real,” Jason answered as he looked at her. Raven finally placed the man and woman.

“You’re from Marvel’s universe!” Raven stated and smiled then.

“How the hell…?” Suddenly the southern bell sitting before her and the Cajun followed.

“You’re that character, Raven, from the Teen Titans show!” Rogue said.

“No, I’m very real,” she answered flatly.

“Ah thought ya hooked up with that green fella, the short one, not this gorgeous man,” Rogue said.

“Been there did that, I thought you dated Deadpool,” Raven said.

“Ma chère and I were havin’ a spat then,” Remy said as he and Rogue glared at one another.

“I’d offer you the couch but I think she’s putting you in the doghouse eitherway,” Jason chuckled.

“And you are?” Remy said.

“Red Hood,” he answered.

“Well… fuck! Love the Arkham Knights game!” Remy announced with a huge grin.

“Love how you steal everything!” Jason answered.

“I can help you get home, know what earth it is?” Raven asked.

“Yes, Earth 616,” Rogue answered.

“Never been there,” Jason said.

“If ya’re as good as de game then I invite ya to the Thieves Guild,” Remy smiled.

“No,” Raven answered before Jason could.

“But!”

“NO!” Raven reiterated.

“You are no fun.”

“You are not being more of a thief than you already are, that’s what landed us here in the first place.”

“I didn’t!” he started.

“N. O. Jason,” Raven warned.

“So yours has this problem too?” Rogue asked.

“You have no idea,” she sighed.

“Hey!” Gambit protested.

“You said Earth-616?” Raven said.

“You know I’m surprised you are fangirling about your favorite comic couple being real and before you,” Jason chuckled.

“What!?” Rogue and Remy sputtered.

“Oh yeah, she’s a huge fan, big closet sap about it.”

“You’re joining Remy in the doghouse,” she seethed.

“If it helps, Ah like ya’re character in the comics,” Rogue said.

“I keep going evil, I’m not evil! And why would I bust up Dick and Kori’s wedding? Makes no sense to me. Sure Dick’s charming, but he’s a dick, and then there’s that asshole,” Raven sighed.

“Men,” Rogue stated.

“Men.” Raven agreed.

“We didn’t do anything!” Jason and Remy yelped.

“Imbeciles,” Raven sighed.

“You love us and you know it chère!” Remy smiled.

“I’ll knock your teeth so far down your throat that you’ll be brushing them through your ass if you dare to hit on my girl,” Jason snarled the threat and Raven saw the dangerous pulse of green in his eyes.

“Bring it Batboy. Always wanted to fight a Bat!” Remy smiled.

“NO!” Rogue and Raven shouted.

The men looked like boys as they both pouted.

“So you can get us home?” Rogue said.

“Yeah, might take me a little bit but I can get you home,” Raven said.

“Thank you!” Rogue smiled.

#bluboothalassophile #fanfic #one shot #marvel #dc comics #jason todd #raven #jayrae #redrae #raex #rogue #gambit #remy lebeau #romy

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maundering-marauder · 7 years ago

Note

I just finished catching up with that fic you posted about spideypool, it’s so fucking good thanks for recommending! I’m trying to convince my friend to read it what part do you think I should show them to get them hooked?

Great question, I think it really depends on what fandom they’re in, if they’re aware/like spideypool and all that. I just re-read the first chapter, and I think this is a good snippet to hook them with:

At the end of the corridor, under the strobe lights of red on red walls and red wounds and red blood is the figure of a man dressed in the same dead red. Peter can’t tell where the blood ends and the man begins. He’s whistling, Peter realizes, low under his breath as he steps on each limp hand he walks over. He’s not touching the ground, using the bodies as macabre stepping-stones. Peter’s disturbed.

Venom’s curious. It’s a mix that makes Peter uneasy.

He doesn’t know if this stranger is friend or foe, but it’s obvious he’s a killer. He’s holding a katana in each leather-gloved hand, and he doesn’t seem like he notices Peter standing there.

‘say something,’ Venom encourages, sounding way too excited for the situation they’re in.

“Shut up,” Peter hisses but it’s enough for the man to still and in the next second there’s a katana blade pressed to the side of Peter’s neck and his spider sense barely had time to warn him.

The shock of someone being able to surprise him holds Peter in place. The man is taller than him, broader, and Peter wonders if he’s a mutant. Peter knows there’s more people held here, there has to be for a place so big, and he knows the scientists here have a thing for mutated genes.

There’s bullet holes riddling the stranger’s leather suit but the man is standing like he shouldn’t be dead.

The two are still in the middle of the stranger’s massacre, and Peter can feel Venom covering his arms, stretching over his chest and neck to prevent the katanas’ blade from piercing his skin and, you know, killing him. The man notices, and the whites of his masks’ eyes widen comically.

“What the shit?” he exclaims, voice loud and booming in the hall.

Peter flinches at the pitch of it. The man sounds like he’s been smoking since he was two years old, his voice gravely and rough like jagged stone. He sheaths his katanas in a practiced fluid movement and bends down, too close.

“I don’t wanna alarm ya, kid, but you got a little something on your neck. And shoulder. And chest,” the man says and Peter…Peter doesn’t know what to do.

The man obviously killed everyone, and he doesn’t seem like he’s here to hurt Peter or else he would have done so already…right?

“What’s wrong? Is it my breath? I haven’t been able to brush my teeth since yesterday so I know it smells like someone left mayonnaise in an old man’s favorite shoe, but if it helps the leather is trapping all of it in. Is that it? Hello? Can you talk? Shit, are you deaf? My bad, here–” and the man starts fucking signing and Peter only knows a little ASL but he’s pretty sure the killer just asked him if he’s seen any of his movies. Right.

‘he’s unstable’ Venom says.

Peter silently agrees.

“No, I can talk–” Peter begins before the man cuts him off.

“Please tell me you’re not, like, twelve.”

Peter bristles. He knows he’s on the shorter side, and he hasn’t been able to properly exercise or eat regularly in years so his muscle mass has kind of deteriorated but c’mon.“I’m twenty-four,” he snaps, crossing his arms over his chest and finding a strange comfort in feeling Venom there, “stop calling me kid.”

The man holds up his hands, palms and fingers covered in blood. It’s supposed to be a calming gesture, but on the man it looks like he’s doing jazz hands. He is doing jazz hands. A speck of blood hits Peter’s cheek.

“Just checkin’, baby boy, I know HYDRA is sick as my shit but I’m almost ninety percent sure there’s only one captive they’re holdin’ here and no one gave me an age, so I’m guessin’ you’re the jackpot!” the man says, his voice excited but Peter’s immediately on the defensive.

Is this man here to take him? To use him like HYDRA has? Venom spikes up, and Peter crouches, just slightly, to find his base.

“Why are you looking for me?” he snaps, and the man still has that sunny disposition but his eyes narrow and he tenses as well, looking a little dangerous as he regards Peter.

“Baby boy, who isn’t looking for you?” the man asks and that catches Peter off guard because he’s been here three fucking years, of course no one has been looking for him. HYDRA liked to tell him that all the time. Suddenly, his chest is tight, his eyes prickling. He’s not going to cry, that’s not it, but he’s feeling something and it’s suddenly a little difficult to breathe. The man must read it as fear, or Peter getting more defensive, because he does the jazz hands again.

“I’m not here to fight you,” he says, “that’s like, the opposite of why I’m here. Iron Giant would gut me ten times over if I hurt ya. And being gutted isn’t a good time, I mean, it’s a great detox, I’ll tell you what, but it kind of is the most painful thing. Like, picture–”

Peter feels like he’s going to pass out.

“I know what it feels like,” he interrupts and the man goes freakishly silent. He unclasps a glock from his thigh holster and, without breaking eye contact with Peter, shoots the nearest doctor in the head. Brain and skull and hair kind of burst out in a horrific bloody firework and Peter’s definitely going to pass out as some of it lands warm on his bare feet.

“Well, good thing they’re all inside out, no one is gonna be experimenting on you anymore, baby,” the larger man hums.

Peter wishes he hadn’t done that.

For all my followers who didn’t see my post, there is an ABSOLUTELY AMAZING new fanfic called: we're on a highway to hell (with a little bit of heaven) written by dabblingwithwords. I recommend it to anyone, even if you’re only partially familiar with Spiderman. The writing is fantastic, characterization on point, action flowing, and dialogue witty. Check out the synopsis below or the snippet above and get to reading:

Hydra has had Peter in their custody for three years. Deadpool is hired to break him out. Throw in an alien symbiote, motels, and superhero explosions and things get gay.

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ao3feed-lokiangst · 4 years ago

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Found Family Notes

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3rQLkEJ

by Liaroslynn

Words: 29, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Found Family

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore, Danny Mahealani, Allison Argent, Theo Raeken, Liam Dunbar, Isaac Lahey, Peter Hale, Chris Argent, Sheriff Stilinski, Nick Fury, Tony Stark, Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Phil Coulson, Peter Parker, Harley Keener, Michelle Jones, Ned Leeds, Gwen Stacy, Wade Wilson, Flash Thompson, Jordan Parrish, Harry Osborn, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Kira Yukimura, Malia Tate, Alan Deaton, Mary Parker, Peggy Carter, Kate Argent, Mason Hewitt, Liam Dunbar's Mother, Mark Geyer, Victoria Argent, Gerard Argent, mentioned Skip Westcott - Character, Wanda Maximoff, Vision (Marvel), Pietro Maximoff, Brett Talbot, Hayden Romero, mentioned Carol Danvers, Liam Dunbar's Father, May Parker (Spider-Man), Melissa McCall, Brock Rumlow, Raphael McCall, Goose, Alpine (Marvel), Lucky (Hawkeye), Sam Wilson, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Dodger (Chris Evans' Dog)

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Danny Mahealani/Jackson Whittemore, Allison Argent/Lydia Martin, Chris Argent/Peter Hale, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton & Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Derek Hale & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Stiles Stilinski, Clint Barton & Stiles Stilinski, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Liam Dunbar & Stiles Stilinski, Theo Raeken & Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin & Theo Raeken, Liam Dunbar & Isaac Lahey, Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski, Chris Argent & Derek Hale, Derek Hale & Peter Hale, Peter Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Theo Raeken, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski, Harley Keener & Lydia Martin, Harley Keener & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Harley Keener, Lydia Martin & Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Harry Osborn/Flash Thompson, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Fake Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Chris Argent/Peter Hale/Sheriff Stilinski, Peter Hale/Sheriff Stilinski, Chris Argent/Sheriff Stilinski, Pepper Potts/James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Mason Hewitt/Brett Talbot, Liam Dunbar & Brett Talbot, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Mason Hewitt & Liam Dunbar, Bruce Banner/Thor, Minor Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli - Relationship, Allison Argent & Clint Barton, Pietro Maximoff/Isaac Lahey

Additional Tags: Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The First Avenger, Bad Friend Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Bad Alpha Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Good Theo Raeken, Good Peter Hale, Good Parent Sheriff Stilinski, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Good Loki (Marvel), Sassy Steve Rogers, Sassy Stiles Stilinski, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Werewolf Bucky Barnes, Werewolf Clint Barton, Werewolf Natasha Romanov, Werewolf Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Alpha Steve Rogers, Werewolf Harley Keener, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Alpha Derek Hale, Erica Reyes Lives, Vernon Boyd Lives, Stiles Stilinski Leaves the Pack, Lydia Martin Leaves the Pack, Liam Dunbar Leaves the Pack, True Alpha Steve Rogers, Magical Claudia Stilinski, Supportive Sheriff Stilinski, Dead Claudia Stilinski, Hydra (Marvel), Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky Barnes is Not the Winter Solider, Steve Rogers Swears, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Peter Hale, Protective Sheriff Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is Noah, Irish Steve Rogers, Polish Stiles Stilinski, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton Friendship, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes Friendship, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Clint Barton is from the 40's, Protective Natasha Romanov, Red Room Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Chris Argent, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Warning: Kate Argent, Dead Laura Hale, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Flash Thompson Redemption, Protective Flash Thompson, Peggy Carter Is a Good Bro, Werewolf Jackson Whittemore, Kanima Jackson Whittemore, Magical Danny Mahealani, Danny Mahealani Knows, Danny Mahealani & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, POV Multiple, Evil Kate Argent, Evil Gerard Argent, Evil Victoria Argent, Allison Argent is Part of the Hale Pack, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, Steve Rogers is a little shit, Jackson is a Good Friend, Good Jackson Whittemore, Allison Argent Gets the Bite, True Alpha Derek Hale, Morally Ambiguous Peter Hale, Morally Ambiguous Stiles Stilinski, Chris Argent Acting as Stiles Stilinski's Parental Figure, Bucky Barnes Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Steve Rogers Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Peter Hale & Nick Fury Friendship, Nick Fury Acting as Natasha Romanov's Parental Figure, Nick Fury is a Good Bro, Gay Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Gay Theo Raeken, Minor Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Bisexual Isaac Lahey, Lesbian Lydia Martin, Pansexual Allison Argent, Gay Peter Hale, Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Gay Derek Hale, Bisexual Sheriff Stilinski, Bisexual Natasha Romanov, Pansexual Clint Barton, Pansexual Tony Stark, Bisexual James Rhodes, Bucky Barnes Acting As Gwen Stacy's Parental Figure, Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski Are Siblings, Funny Stiles Stilinski, Deaf Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, BAMF Stiles, BAMF Steve Rogers, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Clint Barton, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Theo Raeken, Theo Raeken is Liam Dunbar's Anchor, Hurt Theo Raeken, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Depressed Stiles Stilinski, Insomnia, Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Light Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Everyone Is Gay, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Humanoid Vision, Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, everyones happy, eventually, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Allison Argent Lives, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff Feels, Abused Wanda Maximoff & Pietro Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff Acting as Wanda Maximoff and Pietro Maximoff's Parental Figure, Hurt Wanda Maximoff, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Hurt Pietro Maximoff, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Just Bucky's Arm and Clint's Ears, I repeat, Wanda is 17, So is Pietro, Younger Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes, steve is 22, Bucky is 23, Clint is 24, Nat is 22, Bucky Clint and Steve grew up together, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, POV Alternating, The Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Cryptic Alan Deaton, Helpful Alan Deaton, Awesome Alan Deaton, Alan Deaton Leaves Beaconhills, OC for Scott's Pack, they're shitty people, Minor Mason Hewitt/Brett Talbot, Brett Talbot is a good friend, Bad Hayden Romero, Bad Kira, Bad Malia, Healthy Relationships, Past Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Closeted Lydia Martin, but then they own it, Banshee Lydia Martin, Protective Loki (Marvel), Thor is Not Stupid (Marvel), Loki & Thor Friendship (Marvel), Odin's Bad Parenting (Marvel), Awesome Frigga (Marvel), Loki and Thor live on Midgard, Protective Thor (Marvel), Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Bucky Barnes and the 21st Century, Smart Steve Rogers, Steve is good with tech, Steve Rogers is NOT stupid, Sassy Bucky Barnes, Funny Natasha Romanov, Natasha is not a hardass, Clint doesnt have kids, Clint is Smart, Bisexual Peggy Carter, Peggy Carter is Tony Stark's Godparent, Nicky Fury Is Protective of Tony Stark, Liam's Actual Dad is a Dick, Identity Reveal, Supernatural Reveal To Some Characters, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark Coparenting Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy is Spider-Man, Gwen looks like Spiderverse Gwen, Peter Parker & Gwen Stacy are Siblings, Ben Parker Dies, May Parker (Spider-Man) Dies, May & Ben Adopted Ben when she was little, Mary Parker was part of the Red Room, Mary Parker & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Natasha Romanov Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Creepy Brock Rumlow, Brock Rumlow As The Winter Soldier, except he does it willingly, He's a prick, Genius Stiles Stilinski, Genius Peter Parker, Science Nerd Bucky Barnes, Bucky likes fluffy things, like pink hoodies, He's so cute, he wears eyeliner sometimes too, Everyone has REALLY good style, Steve doesn't wear 50 year old clothes, thank god, Hacker Danny Mahealani, Danny and Stiles are Childhood Friends, Jackson Hates Scott, But Stiles is Oblivious, But Likes Stiles, Stiles Stilinski is Pushed Out of the Pack, Stiles Stilinski & Jackson Whittemore Friendship, Jackson Whittemore is Protective of Stiles Stilinski, Jackson Whittemore is Part of the Pack, Jackson Whittemore is a Hale, Jackson is Peter's son, But Peter didn't know, Warning: Laura Hale, Talia took Peters Memories of Jackson, Talia was a goof alpha to everyone but Peter, Manipulative Laura Hale, Peter Hale is a Little Shit, Peter Hale Deserves Nice Things, Kate Argent is a rapist, She drugged Derek, Past Non-Consensual Touching, Past non-consensual drug use, Warning: HYDRA, Super Soldier Bucky Barnes, Bucky doesn't fall off the train, bucky goes down on the plane with steve, HYDRA Trash Party, Awesome Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Flash Thompson, Gay Harry Osborn, Bisexual Pietro Maximoff, Non-Evil Loki (Marvel), Pansexual Wade Wilson, Pansexual Thor, Pansexual Loki, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Genderfluid Thor (Marvel), Trans Steve Rogers, Trans Peter Parker, Stiles Stilinski Has ADHD, Scars, Steve Rogers Has Stretch Marks, ADD/ADHD Tony Stark, Flash Thompson Needs a Hug, Good Flash Eventually, Abused Flash Thompson, Powerful Stiles Stilinski, Sad Stiles Stilinski, Angry Lydia Martin, Protective Liam Dunbar, Protective Lydia Martin, Sad Theo Raeken, Theo Raeken & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Awesome Clint Barton, Were-Creatures, Clint and Nat met in Hydra, They were both brainwashed, but escaped in 2008, bucky and steve awake in 2009

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3rQLkEJ

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #loki #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #angst

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