#I think he's a good person. He just hates dishonesty

[skhardwarevers1]

ugh....blorbos from my Brain.....save me blorbos from my brain......ahhh

[autopsytableromance]

I do understand that post that’s like “future nurses are using ai to glide through classes rn” in the sense of like. Sure if you’re going into a lifesaving profession you should probably actually like. Know that shit to save lives etc. but I simply can’t rb bc like. Do you think nurses (and college students in general really) just. Weren’t cheating before ChatGPT? Do you think they weren’t having other people write their essays? Or getting the questions for tests from their friend who took the class the day before them? Like. Ai is not the birth of cheating in your college classes. My aunt tells a story about her and one of her best friends from college made sure to take the same class with the same professor but on different days bc her friend was better at that kind of thing (I think it was like. A geology class?) and her friend would copy down all of the questions from the labs (and sometimes quizzes/tests if she could remember them) to give to my aunt for her lab the next day. This was in like 2003 long before ChatGPT. People have been doing that since we started giving each other tests probably.

[worldlxvlys]

i just read part 15 AND NOW I NEED PART 16. here's an idea (if you want). here it goes: fluff. LMAO (it wasn't funny) okay so my idea is that reader finds out chris has been to a party and fucked a girl there (love me some angsty shit)

texts w/ dwb! chris (part 16)

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, cursing, angst to fluffy ending

dwb! chris masterlist

a/n: ok so these two requests are very similar so i kinda combined them, so basically reader finds out about his supplier being flirty and assumes that chris cheats but he doesn’t actually cheat. i think it works better with the storyline cause if he had cheated i wouldn’t have reader go back to him.

hope you still like it, i promise it’s still angsty <333

when i opened my door, chris stood there with flowers in his hand, in the pouring rain.

before i could even get a word out he started talking.

“you are way more than a business transaction to me. i’m not using you for sex, and i’m definitely not cheating on you. i would never do anything to hurt you. i can’t lose you. i won’t lose you. you could curse me out and yell at me for the rest of my life and i still wouldn’t leave you alone. i’d rather have you hate me for the rest of your life than not be a part of it. “

i just stood there staring and listening, taking in the fact that he was standing at my door, soaking wet, with my favorite kind of flowers in his hand. he looked desperate, like he wouldn’t be able to live if i didn’t believe him. i searched his eyes as he spoke, looking and failing to see any signs of dishonesty.

“and i swear i did not cheat on you with my supplier. i know she’s a very touchy person, but i really didn’t think anything of it. i will call her right now and tell her that she needs to tone it down and that i am happily taken and unavailable. i honestly should have done that from the start, but i didn’t think she was flirting with me. “

when i heard that his supplier was being touchy and laughing with him, i just jumped to conclusions. he never actually gave me any reason to believe he would cheat on me.

“the last thing i ever want to do is make you uncomfortable or think, for even a second, that i would cheat on you. i am so so sorry, baby. i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if that’s what it takes. there is no one else for me, it’s just you. it’ll only ever be you. if you don’t believe anything else that i’ve said, believe that. “

“look-“ he started. i stepped outside, into the rain, interrupting him “stop talking”.

i pulled his face to mine by his shirt, placing my lips on his. our lips moved against each others in perfect sync, as the water droplets continued to fall down our bodies.

as i pulled away to talk, his lips chased mine.

“i’m sorry chris. i shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and made assumptions. i’ve been cheated on and lied to in the past, but i should’ve known that you aren’t like that. i trust you with my life, chris. “ he grinned at that.

“so we agree that we were both in the wrong, then ?” he asked, pressing his forehead to mine.

“definitely” i agreed.

“ok good. can we go inside then? it’s freezing out here” he said, making us both laugh.

“yeah, sorry. i just couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a rain kiss” we continued to laugh as we went inside to warm up.

————————-

hehehe rain kisssss :)

<33333

masterlist

tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @chanelsturn @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @sosmatt @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @soursturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @wh0szjoanna

[lollyposp]

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW MIRACULOUS SPECIAL

okay so i am going absolutely insane over something marinette says in this special like. insane insane it's been an hour and ive just been thinking about this one line she says

"ladybug knows. ladybug holds the truth. the world will know only what ladybug will tell it. her words will be the truth"

i mean, not only is this a HUGE weight to put on her shoulders, having to lie not just to adrien but to the ENTIRE world (sans nathalie) about gabriel, but i think it speaks so much about what a burden the ladybug role has become to marinette that she not only understands that she can just LIE to the entire world, but that they'll unconditionally believe her too. and the fact that she feels like it's her only option if she wants to preserve some sort of internal peace in adrien, and the fact that she goes through with it when she notoriously hates lying, i just. OUCH. it really speaks to how burdened she is and how quickly she's had to mature since becoming the Guardian.

honestly it does make so much sense for her character to go in that direction. ladybug has always been a strategist, it's just that the scale of her strategies has shifted from winning a battle to sort of playing mind games with everyone she knows so that she can juggle all the different roles she has. because she's smart, and because she's seen as a defacto leader figure, her word matters to EVERYONE - to paris, and to her hero team, and as she's grown more of a reputation as ladybug throughout the show, her word has slowly become law.

ladybug's line also expresses a sense of dissociation between the self, too. she's speaking in third person, but the dissociation isn't even between marinette, "a normal girl", and ladybug, hero of Paris, which is how it normally presents itself. it's between the ladybug she wants to be, a beacon of goodness, and the ladybug she needs to be: I don't know if this is the correct terminology for it (please correct me if im not), but it's almost as if ladybug is dipping her toes into political subterfuge to keep everything going the way she has it planned. like she realises that ladybug the figure has to puppeteer the masses to keep things under control, in the way she needs it to be, even if it means that ladybug the person suffers for it.

the only gripe i have with the special is that adrien is just???? not there at all???? which makes sense considering he wasn't there for Gabriel's defeat either, and i know that's just to establish a conflict in marinette and adrien's dynamic in season 6, but it still makes me upset that the OTHER PROTAGONIST of the show is nowhere to be seen. i love marinette, but when it comes to the story, the Guardian subplot is marinette's, and the hawkmoth plot should ALWAYS have been adrien's. giving it to her makes it feel like adrien is just a side character whose dad just happens to be hawkmoth.

there were a lot of other dynamics laid out in the special that i hope were set up because they're important to season 6. nathalie might become a mentor figure to marinette, as they both know the truth about gabriel and because marinette is in dire need of an adult she can trust (even if that adult is MAYURA??? which is kind of insane). or marinette and kagami both knowing the truth and kagami clearly disapproving of her dishonesty would be really fun to explore: i would love to see growing tension between them as marinette falls further into this "ladybug's word is god" mentality while she tries to keep up all the lies she's set up, and kagami trying to help her but also disagreeing with the entire set up, it would be frankly awesome. (it would also be awesome to see whether marinette trusts alya with the truth, or if she keeps it only to kagami and nathalie.)

all in all, honestly the special is pretty good. marinette's line about ladybug's word being truth will haunt me forever and if they don't make that mentality important to her character in season 6 i might riot

[carniferous]

i need the dil bartylus thesis NOOOOWWW

bartylus is the failmarriage of ALL time to me i’ve spoken about this before but to me they contrast jegulus in that jegulus is a relationship with clear beginnings and ends. its tumultuous for sure but its tumultuous in a very defined way. jegulus cant be a failmarriage bc they’d get divorced. they’re too obsessed with defining what they are to each other bc they want it to be real and meaningful and it can’t be anything less than that

bartylus on the other hand…. they couldn’t define what they are to each other if they tried. they’re like the definition of settling for less but ‘less’ in this case is someone who understands you on a very a deep and fundamental level. perhaps better than anyone in the world. perhaps better than you understand yourself!! i wouldn’t say they’re ‘recognition of self in the other’ bc barty and regulus aren’t even other to each other…. they are each others homes and i mean in this context that both of these characters have the most fraught relationship with their respective homes imaginable. they want each other the way they want to go home (not at all — but also desperately). their relationship is inextricable from childhood. they hate to be reminded of their childhoods

and yet they’re not…. toxic per se! they’re obviously not healthy but they love each other in a way that’s very earnest (childlike). barty dreams of running away with regulus. he is the white knight rescuing the princess from the tower (he’s exactly like james in this respect). but unlike james barty doesn’t see running away as leading to a potentially better life for them….. he has no desire for freedom or salvation. barty just wants to do what he thinks will make regulus happier. and bc of this they will NEVER run away together bc regulus does want freedom. he does want salvation. he will never leave everything he knows unless he has the promise of something better, and barty can’t give that to him (and barty would see dishonesty about that as the greatest betrayal imaginable). so they never leave! they’re trapped together forever! stagnation! rotting! being seen this clearly is love but it’s also unbearable! there’s no mystery there’s no intrigue there’s just the cold acceptance of their fate and the comfort that at least they’ll bear it together except it’s no comfort at all because they COULD have escaped. just not with each other

and don’t even get me STARTED on brotherhusband barty…. there are like some obvioussss barty/sirius parallels and we’d be fools to think regulus doesn’t see them. to think regulus doesn’t want barty explicitly because “this person is like my brother if my brother wanted me” ?? regulus is someone who has lived his entire life wanting to be wanted come on…. he fucks barty because barty is like if regulus could somehow make sirius stay. and barty thinks this is sooooo sweet he indulges it he’s like “yeah reggie why would i ever leave you we’ve known each other since we were toddlers… we’re practically bro—” and then 5 minutes later regulus is sucking his dick and he’s like. wow look at regulus self-soothing! i’m such a good friend :)

in a modern setting they’re a category 5 situationship of unprecedented magnitude. like the picture you paint of regulus crying in his car after their 34th screaming-match breakup of the MONTH (how does this even happen. months only have 31 days max. were they timing it by the hour) is so perfect. ppl tell reg to see a therapist and he graciously does and after explaining it the therapist is like “do you think this might have anything to do with your childhood?” and regulus like “no?” and then proceeds to ghost said therapist bc on the way home from the appointment barty called and apologized and invited regulus over. regulus was like “okay but we’re not going to fuck” and barty is like “ofc not do you think i’m some kind of freak that i would be horny right now—“ cut to barty with regulus’s calves on his shoulders

[itsdeniini]

HEEJAY TURN ONS AND TURN OFFS

- a tarot reading ☆ JAKEHOON EDITION

ᰔᩚ n ! O te: i am a self-taught tarot reader, and the interpretations i provide are personal. if anyone would like to share their own insights, i would be more than happy to hear them! please be kind <3

HEESEUNG ᥫ᭡

TURN ONS

1. His primary love language is acts of service, so he feels most loved and valued when his partner takes the initiative to perform a thoughtful act of service that they discovered by actively listening or observing him, especially in situations where the act makes his day easier. This gesture fills him with a desire to give all the throat hugs to this person.

2. He will also get turned on by someone who know how to use their power. Ones that can make him feel so unworthy of them and insignificant (all that in a moment of lust) that Heeseung feels thankful for the chance to even touch them. What's sexy to him about worshipping is power.

3. Having someone who actually plans dates instead of the usual "you pick, no you pick" game. That's a big turn-on for him. It shows they're not just going through the motions. They're putting in the effort to make their time together special. It's like, "Hey, I care about this enough to think it through, to plan something we'll both enjoy."

TURN OFFS

1. Inconsistent attention and affection turn him off. He doesn't stay in situations like that; he moves on. He gets turned on by consistent attention and affection, and by a partner who loves him so much that they go out of their way to show they care. Someone will never have him if they are inconsistent with him.

2. For someone as genuine as Heeseung, dishonesty might be a major turn-off. Sincerity and authenticity seem to be integral parts of his personality, making deceit a stark contrast to his nature. Additionally, a lack of respect could easily sour his impression, as Heeseung values kindness and mutual respect in his interactions.

3. ARROGANCE. His humble demeanor and down-to-earth attitude suggest that he appreciates humility and modesty in others. Someone who displays arrogance or a sense of superiority might find it difficult to connect with him on a deeper level. He refuses to spend any “real” time on people whose pompous attitude and hate is simply a poison on this planet. He would think that they are so wrapped up in their angry rightfullness that they can’t feel the pickle up their rear.

JAY ᥫ᭡

TURN ONS

1. Physical touch. That's the most obvious thing EVER when it comes to him. He would find it enjoyable to stimulate blood flow through scratching, warming up the skin, easing back pain, and increasing sensitivity to physical touch. This all appears to be a feasible approach, as he rarely takes no as a response when he genuinely craves to get what's his.

2. You know what's a major turn-on for Jay? A person who's passionate about something other than work. Tell him about your odd hobbies, your hidden abilities, the things that light you up. Passion is infectious for him. He'd yap about his interests 24/7, hoping that his partner would do the same.

3. Someone with a good hygiene routine is such a turn-on for Jay. Watching them come out of the shower, skin still wet, towel wrapped around the waist, getting themselves moisturized and smelling divine, drives him nuts. Just sitting there monitoring them is kind of a fetish for him.

TURN OFFS

1. He hates closed-mindness. (especially if that's with the goal to project confusion on open minded people) He considers himself a open-minded guy and he SEE’S ALL and is able to connect dots, you would never sneak something behind his back. He'll find out about it anyway and will get mad MAD. He believes that closed-minded individuals restrict their thinking by focusing only on what they want to see, lacking the mental fortitude and bravery to explore beyond.

2. As time passes, he becomes increasingly irritated, frustrated, and disinterested in people who only talk without taking action or following through on their intentions. He's finding himself drawn to individuals who are more aligned with his mindset, which feels refreshing.

3. Overall he gets bored by people so easily. Sometimes all it takes is one wrong comment and he's done wholly with that person. He's sad and thinks he should do better in that aspect, because that may be the cause why new connections are burdensome and puts him on a massive off.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: What Led to Ray's Explosive Tirade (Playing 'The Bad Guy')

I have to admit that this was not how I expected this scene to play out. I was just as flabbergasted as everyone else at first. However I think there's one clear thing that Ray's outburst reminded me off: no matter whether you reveal the truth or keep it to yourself - either way, you are the bad guy.

I'm NOT the Villain

As Boston very derisively claims, if Ray reveals the truth of the affair, he'll be the one unleashing the damage. A similar parallel to what Boston did last episode (with very different intentions may I add, but damage is damage nonetheless).

Mew is incredibly important to Ray. If we talk simply outside of Ray's love for him, Ray wants to treat him well, repay him for his kindness and support over the years. Therefore, once Ray was in possession of this information, he felt very strongly that Mew needed to know. He knew telling Mew was the right thing to do. He does genuinely care about Mew as a person.

Does he warn Mew and ruin his present happiness (which is based on a lie)? Or does he hold his tongue and potentially watch his friend get hurt from other mistreatments by Top further down the line?

Ray doesn't want to hurt Mew in any way. He doesn't want to be the bringer of bad news. Why should it have to fall to him to reveal this awful act of betrayal to someone he cares for so much? And when Mew supposedly doesn't react in the way he expects to this information, Ray goes ballistic with frustration, concern and anger. Why is he the bad guy for trying to help his friend, when Top can seemingly get away with it, and be in everyone's good graces even when he's completely undeserving? Why can no one else see Top's true colours?

I'm NOT the Worst

Something else that occurred to me throughout this episode, is how often Ray's friends belittle and overlook him. And it's so routine they hardly even notice.

Boston has never tried to hide his snide little back-handed comments at Ray. Since their fight at Sand's, he's become even more callous when throwing quips in plain sight. Namcheum makes an observation about all of them being partnered up, and it's only after a few beats that April points out Ray is still single. It's as if they forgot he was even there. Namcheum doesn't tend to pick up on any of the animosity or tension within this group. She's generally not the most tactful or best at reading people.

Then when Ray speaks to Mew in the bathroom, Mew immediately assumes Ray's been taking drugs. Ray looks clearly stunned by this. Yes, he's always coined as the 'drunk' but that's not his one and only personality trait. That's not all he does and is as a person.

It dawns on Ray that even his closest friends seem to always assume the very worst of him. He had a bad feeling about Top from the offset but no one cared or listened. Rather, Ray never gets given the benefit of the doubt, when he's not committed anything as problematic as the heinous crimes amongst their group. Particularly when compared to Top, someone who gets all the praise and adoration when Ray knows he's a certified piece of shit, is desperately unfair. And most of all Top gets the respect of the best friend he loves.

I think what really sent the situation hurtling south was Ray watching everyone play happy families, when he knows there is a web of dishonesty and resentment lurking beneath. It's all a farce. And Ray couldn't stomach it for another moment longer. He had enough.

Become the Very Thing You Loathe

In Episode 4, Ray displays a classic example of self-loathing and self punishment when he goads Sand to scold him. In doing so, it's as if he's deriving some warped form of satisfaction in owning these criticisms. Because he's told these things so often, he starts to believe it, so why not own it too? I actually mentioned this in my Episode 1 meta (regarding Ray's self-actualisation of becoming a burden). Sometimes embracing the very thing you hate being know for, at least validates the presence of that criticism. 'If people keep calling me an asshole, then fine, I'll become an asshole. At least then being called an asshole makes sense.'

So Ray brought it on himself to air out everyone's dirty laundry. 'Fuck it, if you really all think I'm the worst, then fine, I'll do what needs to be done, I'll be the worst. You all happy now?'

Even though Ray adopts the persona forced onto him, he's not happy about it at all. He wants to be identified with more substance, with more credit, as more than just what everyone claims him to be.

[kitheking]

toxic traits i think redacted characters have/used to have

david - gaslighting. he’s better now, but he was a professional. he would pull every trick in the book to make somebody feel like they were at fault for everything. the type of person to upset you, say “you’re overreacting” then deny the whole thing happened. angel fixed him.

asher - conflict avoidance. he hates fighting (especially in a relationship) so when things upset him, he addresses them in the most indirect way possible and ends up being passive aggressive. he usually apologizes tho.

milo - his toxic trait is that he doesn’t have any. (i actually couldn’t think of one for milo lmk if you have one) UPDATE: the only negative trait i can think of him having is that he can hold a grudge for the rest of his life if you let him (ty @frenchiefitzhere for this one) other than that he’s weirdly perfect?

lasko - dishonesty + conflict avoidance. like asher, he’s not big on conflict, but he often lies so people won’t get upset with him. ends up biting him in the ass tho.

damien - PETTY. omfg he can be the most childish person on earth. if you piss him off he’ll act out all of your pet peeves in the span of 3 minutes, disorganize things in your home, point out your insecurities, and he can and will go weeks without speaking to you.

huxley - toxic positivity. he isn’t always like this, but occasionally he’s the type of person to say “well, look on the bright side!” when you go to him to vent. sometimes he just makes people feel like their feelings aren’t valid.

gavin - we all know he’s arrogant. sometimes it’s just too much.

vincent - he’s overly competitive. he likes to be “the best” at everything and he’s a sore loser

aaron - he used to be judgmental and insanely critical. if he lets somebody do something for him, it’s never good enough. also the type of person to be like “um actually🤓” when you say literally anything.

sam - used to be super close minded and blames all the wrong people for things out of their control. if you saw fred and brights storyline you’d know

don’t even get me started on the listeners holy shit

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | ii

Y/n finds herself giving in to temptation, tangling herself further in Jake’s web due to her inability to turn him away. Her dishonesty about her actions results in nothing but more trouble as she quickly realizes Jake is not the only one playing the game.

Read part one here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: swearing, allusions to sex, flirting, touch of making out, hangovers, love triangle situations, sorry if i miss any!

hi! sorry this took so long. it’s also not the best, but i hope you still like it and stick with me through this series because im quite excited about it. ive been having a really tough time lately and just started getting back into the swing of things, so this chapter is kind of setting the scene and a promise for more, i guess. no smut in this one, but pinky promise it’s coming soon. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻

~

The sun served as a violent reminder of the previous nights events. When you opened your eyes to the rays of light beaming through the curtains, you barely had time to register you were awake before the remorse began to seep back in. You were sure that the headache from your hangover was just another way of the universe laughing at you. As you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, you were almost angry at the sun for shining when you felt as miserable as you did. The specks of dust danced through the rays, silently taunting you as you attempted to pull yourself from the arms of slumber. You hated knowing that the world would keep turning and moving forward, even when you felt like everything was crumbling around you.

You made a move to stand, but the pounding in your skull was encouraging you to crawl back under the blankets and hide away. Still, you stood, searching for clothes to cover yourself with. You located an old t-shirt and some shorts in a pile of laundry you hadn’t gotten around to folding yet, throwing it on without much thought. You took to the mirror, checking yourself over, sickened at the sight. Your makeup was in disarray, smudged and stained over your skin and your hair was wild, sticking up and knotted. You grabbed some makeup wipes, ridding yourself of the mess on your face, first, and then grabbing a comb to brush through your hair. When you deemed yourself at least sort of presentable, you made the dreaded journey to the company of others.

As you made your way down the hallway, you could hear minimal chatter coming from the living room. You peeked your head around the corner, praying that it was just the boys, still unsure of who stayed at your home overnight. You felt a wave of relief wash over you when you saw Josh sprawled across the couch, eyes closed with a hand on his forehead. Danny was sitting on the second couch, arm casted around the back and slumped into the cushions. Sam was laying on the floor, eyes also shut to block out the light. You couldn’t help but notice Jake was nowhere to be found, immediately wondering where he ran off to. You scolded yourself internally, upset that he was the first person you searched for, that he was the first thought in your head. Even so, your mind trailed back to the memory of him, reminding yourself of how ethereal he looked between your legs. How could you not think about him after you’d seen him like that? Just at the thought, you felt a surge of emotion rush straight to the pit of your stomach.

“Good morning, sunshine.” A voice broke you from your head. You looked up, nervous at the greeting. You were sure guilt was plastered all over your face, giving you away almost immediately.

“Hey,” you replied, hoping to cover up your startled expression. You walked over, careful to avoid Sam on the ground. You took a seat next to Danny, who almost instantly wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You leaned into the touch, comforted at the idea he could possibly still be ignorant to the events of the night prior.

“You disappeared on me last night.” He noted, but there was no accusatory tone present.

“Yeah, I didn’t feel very good. I ended up going straight to bed.” The lie slipped off your tongue easier than any truth you’d ever told. You kept your eyes on your hands, which were resting on your lap. It only took one night for Jake to cast such a spell over you, one that made you so willing to lie for him; whatever power he held within him was strong enough to make you a fool, keeping him a secret while silently hoping he would come back, just so you could catch sight of his face.

“Feel better today?” He asked. You rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes in attempt to ward off the ache in your head.

“Not particularly.” You gave a short lived chuckle. “What about you guys?”

“I think it’s safe to say we’ve all had better days.” He replied, leaving it at that. “Josh, throw over that bottle of Advil.” In response, Josh let out a low groan along with a few incoherent mumbles. He reached to the side table without moving from his position, hand searching wildly for the small bottle. Once he’d located it, he tossed it in the general direction of you both without looking. It landed with a thud on the cushion beside you.

You picked it up, taking two out of the bottle. Danny handed you his glass of water. You muttered a thanks, swallowing them down and handing it back to him. “I’m never drinking again.”

“You say that every time.” Danny reminded.

“I mean it, this time.” You grumbled, but left it at that. You had no energy to argue the point any further. You were certain you meant it, now, because you finally joined in on the drunken mistakes everybody so often spoke about. For once, the alcohol worsened your situation instead of taking your mind off it. And now, you had no idea what to do about it. Your night of attempting to drink away your lesson had only created more. As your eyes drifted to Sam laying on the floor, your chest ached at the sight. Still, as hungover as he was, he was gorgeous. The previous nights events had no affect on your feelings for him; they were still as strong as ever. You were hoping the entanglement would provide some sense of clarity, but the only thing your dance with the devil gave you was a sense of shame, and a bit of remorse.

As you watched Sam’s face, you couldn’t help but feel your thoughts drift back to his brother. Sam was the type of person you wanted to come home to after a long day, cozy up with on the couch and throw on a movie. He was the person you wanted to share your everyday life with, one with whom you wanted to make an endless book of memories. Jake, on the other hand, was like a cloud of black smoke consuming you every time you thought of him. He didn’t even need to speak to you, you just wanted his hands on you and for him to never stop touching you, ever again. The sinful desire to be wrapped around him forever was overpowering; much stronger than a want. Now, it was almost a necessity.

The idea of never feeling him like that again was so dreadful that it took the air from your lungs and clouded your vision. He was suffocating you with his essence, but it felt so good that you almost felt the need to thank him for it; oxygen was second only to Jake and the way he made you feel. Even in your hungover state, the memory of him was still overpowering everything else. The tingle on your skin in the places he touched you was residual, begging you to remember him. As much as you’d hoped for it to be gone when you woke, you knew that you’d give anything to have a minute alone with him once more.

You found yourself toying the line of consciousness, comfortable in Danny’s hold and soothed from the warmth of his body. He was much like a large teddy-bear, and one of the few friends you didn’t mind physical contact with. If anything, it was one of the greatest comforts you knew. You were certain everybody else had dozed off as well, each one of you feeling the exact same way. Just as you were about to fall back into slumber, the front door opened and footsteps echoed down the hall. You stirred slightly, peering at the intruder with only one eye open. You were glad everybody else was sleeping, because the redness that spread across your face at the sight of Jake was more than incriminating.

He caught you looking, wasting no time giving you a smile. He was holding a tray of coffee and what looked to be a bag of takeout. “Don’t you all look energetic,” he commented, his gaze drifting around the room.

“Please, please tell me that one of those are for me?” You found the energy to open both eyes, lifting your head slightly. The surge of pain that ran through your skull prompted you to resume your earlier position.

“Obviously, sweetheart. Could never forget about you.” He sent a wink in your direction, one that was so subtle you would have missed it had you not been immersed in every detail of his face. You bit down on the inside of your lip in attempt to distract yourself from the fluttering in your stomach, still clearly affected by his pet names. He walked over, handing you a cup.

“Thanks, Jake.” You said, eyes focused on his face. When you reached for the coffee, your fingers brushed with his. The contact ran through you like a shock of lightning, causing your breath to catch in your throat. It was a small enough reaction that nobody noticed, except for the boy who caused it. He gave you a smile before he moved on, handing out the rest of the drinks.

At the smell of food, and the sound of the conversation, Sam and Josh arose from their positions. Jake gave everybody’s respective orders to them before settling beside you on the couch. You took a sip of coffee, trying not to focus on the feeling of his thigh resting against yours. You looked down at the lid of the cup, delighted at the taste of the drink. Your eyes softened at the writing on the top. Somehow, he’d managed to remember exactly how you liked your coffee. You couldn’t recall the last time you’d actually told him, meaning he’d been storing that information in his head for a while. You looked to him through the corner of your eye, hoping to be sneaky about it, but you found he was already looking at you through the corner of his. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks again, quickly shifting your attention back to the food in front of you.

After some much needed caffeine and sustenance, the group seemed to become a bit more lively. Sam and Josh both managed to remain upright, their eyes staying open for more than a few minutes at a time. “You seem awfully quiet,” Danny nudged you with his elbow. Your head turned towards him, trying to cover up your dazed look. You still weren’t quite back to reality. The memories from the night prior were hitting you harder each time the chatter in the room died down, leaving you still trying to figure out if it really happened or your dreams were just very vivid. You knew it must have happened, because the ache in your heart was very real every time you caught Sam’s eye, or because of the flood of emotion that washed over you every time you looked a little too closely at Jake.

“Oh, yeah. Guess I still don’t feel the best.” You chuckled, realizing you’d have to break out of your internal struggle sooner or later.

“Another Advil?” He offered, holding the bottle out to you.

“I don’t think any amount of Advil can take away this hangover, Danny Boy.” You sighed, letting your head fall back into the cushion. You meant it, too. This hangover was different, because you were suffering through a withdrawal from something much more powerful than alcohol. As remorseful as you felt about your actions, you knew the only way to satiate the feeling was to get Jake back in your bedroom and finish what you started. Even thinking that caused a twinge of pain in your chest, eyes casted in the direction of Sam and the stupid little smile he had on his lips.

“Hey, y/n,” your attention was pulled in another direction. You looked to your side, raising an eyebrow in response to Jake’s voice. “Do you still have that Les Paul?” You watched him, more specifically the way his lips moved as he formulated the words, finding yourself captivated in it. You felt the urge to lean over and kiss him, just to feel a shred of what he’d made you feel a few hours before.

“Uh, the gold top?” You asked, unsure if that’s the one he was asking about. “There’s a sunburst around here somewhere, too, if you’re thinking of that one.”

“No, the gold top.” He clarified. You looked around the room, certain that you’d left it there the last time you played it. When you couldn’t locate it, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“It must be downstairs. Did you want to play it?”

“Yeah, I’ll come and look for it with you.” He said, passing it off as a completely innocent, friendly gesture. You locked eyes with him, knowing what he really meant by the statement. Your gaze lingered for a moment too long, realizing you would have to answer before any suspicion was casted towards the interaction. You shared a silent agreement with him before speaking.

“Sure. It’s probably down there, somewhere. There’s so much shit in the basement that I can’t even keep track of it all anymore.”

“If you’re looking to get rid of any of it, I’d be more than happy to take that Thunderbird off your hands.” Sam sent a smirk your way. The sound of his voice pulled your attention to him, completely immersing you in his presence. You hated that both boys now had that power over you. Without missing a beat, you rolled your eyes, giving a slight scoff at his statement.

“You’ll never get your hands on that bass, Sammy. I love you, but never.” You said, making a move to stand.

“Oh, come on. All of those instruments down there, and I’ve never even seen you play one. Have some compassion, woman.” He pleaded. You gave him a gentle pat on the head as you walked by.

“Never, Sam.” You repeated. “Play it all you want, but it stays here.”

“Worth a shot.” He shrugged.

“Just like the thousand other times you asked?” You teased. He gave you a look, his gaze lingering over your face for a moment.

“Always.” He smiled, eyes focused on you with an expression you weren’t sure you’d seen from him before. You felt your heart flutter, noticing your stare lasted for a second too long with him, too. You shook the thoughts from your head, unable to think about how pretty he looked when he smiled, especially when you were about to head off to seclusion with his brother. You were in too deep with both of them, and there was no sign of land. You moved towards the exit of the room, looking back to find Jake following closely behind. You flicked on the light to the stairwell leading to the basement, cracking open the door. You led him down, watching your footing as you made your descent down the steps. You heard him trailing behind, the door softly falling shut behind him.

When your feet hit the floor, your hand searched for the second light switch on the wall, locating it after a few moments of struggle. You clicked it on and the yellow hue of the lightbulb filled the room, allowing you to see what was inside. You turned back to look at Jake, once again finding him already looking at you. He gave you a small smile once you caught his eye. “Sleep well last night, Gold Dust Woman?” You narrowed your gaze, eyebrow raised slightly to showcase your annoyance with him.

“What do you think, Jacob?” His smile only grew, and a laugh accompanied it, this time.

“I never got any phone calls, so I assumed you did.” He took a single step in your direction, almost as if he was nervous to approach you again. You watched him, wondering if you should let the situation continue as it was, or shut it down.

“Did you put my Les Paul down here?” You asked, unable to keep the question to yourself. You had the nagging idea that he moved it, almost certain that you last left it in the room you had just been in. But, at the same time, you could never be too sure of yourself. Especially considering the last twenty-four hours of your life had been nothing short of disastrous and delusional.

“Is that an accusation?” He seemed to love answering your questions with more questions, and it was driving you insane.

“Simple curiosity.” You replied, feeling unable to look away from him.

“Maybe I took it upon myself to bring it down here,” he explained, giving a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Wouldn’t have wanted anything to happen to it, last night.”

“You sure that was the motivation?” You pressed further, wanting to hear him admit the true intent. He took another step closer, now within an arms reach of you. He brushed the hair from your face, tucking it neatly behind your ear.

“Curious little thing, aren’t you?” He teased. His fingers ghosted over your cheek, sending that same rush of excitement through you as it did the night before. It was crazy how such a minuscule contact could produce such a grand feeling. That was just how Jake was, though. Everything about him was grand, even his simplicity.

“Just a question.” You assured him, praying you could keep your confidence. The slight airiness of your words and the drum of your heart against your ribcage said otherwise, though, and you were certain he noticed it.

“Anyone ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat, sweetheart?” He was inching closer, the space between your bodies diminishing more by the second. Even so, it seemed painfully slow. You wondered how you so easily found yourself in the same position after making the fatal mistake the night before; after the soul-crushing remorse you’d been feeling all morning.

“There’s another half to that saying, Jacob. Don’t forget about that part.” You reminded, hand involuntarily reaching for him. Your fingers grasped at the fabric of his shirt, pulling him towards you a little further. There it was again, the same incomprehensible force he had that drew you into him. You understood, now; you would never be able to escape Jake as long as he was accessible. Much like a drug, he was addictive. You were sure that even if you went to the basement with the intent of telling him to leave you alone, you’d still end up immersed in him one way or another. His aura was stronger than any pull of gravity or any other earthly force. Even knowing you shouldn’t, you couldn’t help but invite him in.

“Right,” he agreed, now pressed into you. His face was hovering just above yours. The anticipation was killing you; he seemed to be a fan of keeping you on edge, and it was insufferable. You wished he would just make the move, to decide for you and limit you from any overthinking. But, maybe, that was his intent. He wanted you to think about it; he wanted you to do all of the thinking, so you would ultimately end up in his arms on your own terms. He wanted you to think about him so often that there was no room for anything else, and he almost had you there. He was persevering until every part of your brain was consumed with him, in a true devilish fashion. He knew he could get away with it, too, because he could tell it was working. “Remind me, again, would you?”

“Of what, exactly?” If he wanted to play the game, you had no issue playing, too. A smirk was toying at the corner of his lips, although hard to notice due to his close proximity. It would be so easy to kiss him, you thought, so easy to just lean forward and allow you both the pleasure you were desperately seeking. But, you stayed true to your position and your stubbornness, refusing to break the gap between your mouths.

“Don’t be like that, sweetheart.” His hand that wasn’t occupied with your cheek found your hip, holding it with little force, just enough to let you know he was touching you. The pet name made your head spin once again. He had you wrapped around his finger, and you were too far gone to come back from it. You knew you would give him anything he wanted as long as he continued looking at you in such a way.

“Satisfaction,” you muttered, completely lost in the deep brown hue of his eyes. They were so inviting, much like a warm hug on a cold day. He nodded, happy with your answer. “Satisfaction brought it back.” You finished, more confident in your words.

“Mhm,” he hummed. “So, what’s going to satisfy you, then?” You swallowed hard at his words, eyes flickering down to his lips again. He already knew the answer, the question only served as a boast for his ego. “Finishing what we started last night?” He pried, lips just hovering over your own. It was almost funny, how distraught you’d been about this exact situation just minutes before, and how willingly you’d fallen back into it.

“An answer to the question would do it, I think.” You brushed his question off, but you knew your response was a lie. You were practically drooling at the thought of continuing your activities from the previous night. The idea of walking away from him was blasphemous, the thought almost putting you in agony.

“So, if I tell you the truth, you’ll walk away?” His fingertips were burning into your skin, so violent despite his gentle touch, but it felt fantastic. You were certain you’d never be able to live without it.

“Yeah,” you breathed, trying to feign a little bit of certainty, but anyone with a working set of ears could tell it was untruthful.

“You know you can’t lie to me, angel.” He scolded, although his tone was soft and barely above a whisper. The tip of his nose was tickling your own, now. He’d given in last night, but he was stubborn enough to stop himself, this time. He wanted you to invite him in, now. It was your turn to break the boundary. “But, yes. I brought the Les Paul down here this morning, if that’s what you want to know.”

“Why?” You pestered, both of you aware that wasn’t the question you wanted answered.

“So I could have you all to myself, again.” He was done playing, realizing the best way to get what he wanted was to be honest. As fun as it was to tease you, he wanted to feel you on him again, almost as badly as you wanted him. In another moment of weakness, void of any rationality, you pulled him closer and closed the gap between you. It was hungry, filled with desperation and a need for each other that was unable to be described with words.

He guided you backwards, firmly pressing you against the wall as his hands found their way under the hem of your shirt. He wasn’t disrespectful: more so just searching for a more intimate piece of you to experience. He settled his hold on your hips, just above your shorts. His fingers felt like heaven on your skin, like it was exactly where they were meant to be. Your arms were wrapped around his neck in a shameless attempt to capture him and hold him to you forever. The idea of the guitar was long out the window, much like the memory of the people sat in your living room. The only thing that held any importance was the boy before you, once again casting his spell over you.

When he parted from you, the loss of contact was agonizing, nearly bringing you to tears. The pent up tension from how he’d left you had simmered, but now was building once more, making it impossible to see past it. If life would have been so kind, he would have taken you right there. But, as you grew to understand, it never was. He gave you that same, irritating smile in place of his kiss. You wanted to smack it off his face, just to ensure he’d never give it to you again. “Glad to see you still feel the same way,” he noted.

“You make it impossible not to.” You said, fighting the urge to push him away from you.

“Thank you.” He grinned.

“Not particularly a compliment, sweetheart.” You corrected, barely noticing the use of the nickname. It seemed like his charm was rubbing off on you.

“Agree to disagree,” he said, face still inches from your own. “Have I earned that invitation, yet?” You held back an eye roll, knowing deep down that he never needed any invitation; he owned the place, now. It would feel more comfortable if you were asking him permission to allow you the pleasure.

“You could’ve had me last night. You already had the invitation, Jake. You didn’t need to earn it.” You reminded him, still angry but finding yourself more focused on his lips, hoping he’d grace you with another kiss.

“I know, angel, but don’t you want it even more, now?” You expelled a long sigh, tired of him dragging the situation out. “It will be so much better, now that you’ve waited.” He assured you. “Besides, I think you’re worth courting, at least a little bit.” He sent another wink in your direction, paired with a smirk.

“Maybe you’re the sadist.” You shot, throwing his own theories back at him. He gave a shrug, but didn’t give anything more. “You promised me, Jake.”

“I haven’t broken any promises, sweetheart.” He said, looking over your face.

“Surely this isn’t what you meant by all day long, however I wanted it.” You scoffed. “I’m not exactly enjoying this.”

“So, what? You want me to fuck you while everybody waits for us upstairs?” He asked, raising a hand to run his finger over your cheek. That smug little smirk remained stuck on his lips. When you didn’t answer, he raised an eyebrow in inquiry. “You would?” He let out a disapproving hum, settling his palm on your cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed, knowing that if you were going to have him, he’d ensure that you would suffer a bit, first. That was just a part of his hellish nature. Although, you had to admit, he was right; the build up was bound to result in a way more intense climax, later. “Dirty little thing, too.” He noted, drawing in a deep breath. It seemed like the idea sparked a nerve within him, too. If your inhibitions were any lower, you both would have given in.

“Get the fucking guitar,” you snapped, but your hands refused to break their hold on him. “But when they go home, you stay.”

“A lady who knows what she wants,” he leaned in once more, lips barely brushing over yours. “Hot.” The eye roll you’d been containing made its way into the world. The small statement aided you in realizing that as captivating as he was, he was still just a boy. He leaned forward, giving you another kiss to hold you over. As much as you hoped it would ease the feeling of need, it only worsened it. When he broke away, he moved back and freed you from your position. You watched him, still half-tempted to fuck him right there. You persevered, playing the waiting game once again. You managed to hold back this long, and you were sure you could hold on just a bit longer.

“Where’d you put it?”

“So demanding.” He said, feigning a look of disbelief. You placed a hand on your hip, silently telling him that your patience was growing thin. “Fine,” he stepped away, looking only for a second before locating the case that contained the guitar. He grabbed it, returning to you and giving a genuine smile. “Better?” You gave a nod, happy for once that he decided to comply. Amidst your frustration, you couldn’t help but soften at his goofy expression. You walked towards him, placing a kiss on his cheek in thanks. You nodded your head towards the stairwell, letting him know you were both long overdue for your return.

“Thanks.” You said as you took to the steps. He was close behind, not letting you stray too far. As you reached for the light switch, a sharp smack landed on your ass, causing you to jump at the contact. You turned around, giving a look of bewilderment which was met with a chuckle.

“Just so you know, I never break a promise.” He assured you. “And, just because you got your way, doesn’t mean you’re in charge.” He gave another wink, causing you to swallow hard. The statement produced a whole other world of excitement, eager to see what he had in store for you. You both returned to the main level, composing yourselves as you walked in attempt to hide the true intent of the basement visit.

“Oh! Hold on,” You said, turning on your heels. Jake watched you, curious about your sudden change in direction, but stepped out of your way. You tumbled back downstairs, looking around for only a moment before locating the item you’d forgotten. You grabbed the bass before joining Jake once again. Even though you were captivated in Jake, Sam still seemed to be heavy on your mind.

“If you let him play that, he’s never going to give it back.” Jake warned.

“He will, trust me.” You said, not worried about it. You closed the basement door behind you as you stepped into the main floor. Jake disappeared around the corner, joining his brothers. You took a moment to fully regain yourself before following after him. You were greeted with three pairs of questioning eyes once you entered the room.

“Did you guys get lost?” Danny asked, a smirk on his face. You looked to him, trying to cover any look of guilt that might have been on your own. The knowing look he held in his eye made your stomach churn with unease.

“There’s a lot of shit down there. Guess it just got lost in the mess of things.” You chuckled, refusing to hold his stare any longer. You turned to Sam, handing him the Thunderbird. He took it, excitement replacing any inquiries in his mind. “To play. Not to keep, Sammy.” You reminded, but he was too busy plucking at the strings. Jake had flicked the power on to an amp sitting beside the television, messing with the settings. He took to the second one beside it, tossing a patch cord towards his youngest brother. Danny decided he would drop the subject for now, knowing you’d never admit to anything in front of a group. He made a mental note to ask about it later.

“Now I feel left out.” Danny said, looking around at his friends. You let out a small laugh.

“I’ve got a box drum. No real drum set, yet. Or a couple acoustics, if you’d prefer that.”

“Those in the basement, too?” He questioned. You elected not to respond, making a move towards the amp and grabbing the drum, making the decision for him.

“Right here, actually.” You smiled as you sat it in front of him.

“You’re too kind,” he said, pulling the instrument between his legs. You resumed your earlier position on the couch beside him, looking around at everyone. The morale definitely seemed higher than it was previously. Between the pain killers and the distraction of music, everyone was mostly back to their normal selves. “That’s a gorgeous guitar.” Danny noted, eyes trailing towards Jake.

“It’s a ‘57 reissue. Wish I could’ve got the real one, but I can’t be too greedy.”

“Where do you find all of these? And how are you not broke?” Sam laughed, eyeing the bass in his hands.

“I got a lot of them as gifts, or thank you’s from the people I’ve worked with over the years. Some of it I bought secondhand, and some I got brand new. They all kind of come with their own story, which is cool.” You explained. Sam watched you intently as he listened.

“That is really cool, actually.”

“Yeah, turns out a lot of musicians like to cycle through instruments. They get bored after so many years and move on to other things. When they do, they have nowhere to put the pile of old ones.”

“That’s where you come in?” You smiled, nodding in response.

“Yeah, exactly. It’s awesome, ‘cause it’s like I get to keep a part of the people I work with. I mean, the instruments are cool, but the sentiment means more.” You told him, feeling touched at the question. The whole idea of Sam was confusing. You were hopelessly head over heels for him, but you were quite certain any feelings you had weren’t returned. Then, he’d sit there and ask you questions nobody else bothered to ask you. He made you feel seen; heard, even, after an entire lifetime of begging for it.

“You can’t tell me you’ve never played any of them,” he said, stare still burning into you. You opened your mouth, but closed it quickly, void of a proper response. Your eyes flickered to Jake, who was mindlessly strumming. He wasn’t looking in your direction, but you knew he was listening; he always listened. You weren’t sure if you wanted to share the intimate detail of your life with all of them, yet. The thought terrified you, understanding that the more people that knew about it, the bigger chance of your escape to the bars on Friday nights being ruined. Then again, you thought you’d be mortified if anyone found out. The night before, when Jake showered you in his completely honest compliments, it felt more comforting, rather than scary. Like the years of learning and practicing finally amounted to something. The stamp of approval from a real musician was exhilarating.

“A little, I guess.” You shrugged. Jakes eyes flickered towards you, expression intrigued at the idea you might tell everyone. “Just a side hobby.” Jake had to bite back a smile, excited he may be able to get to hear you play again. Sam’s eyes were wide, amazed that you finally admitted you played the instruments, rather than let them collect dust. They all had the nagging suspicion, and often took turns trying to pry the information from you. He was proud of the fact he’d been the one to get you to tell them. If only he knew the truth, that he wasn’t the first to know, he might have been a little heartbroken. So, you kept that part to yourself and hoped Jake would do the same.

“Play me something?” He asked, hope sparkling in his pupils. You felt your heart jump at the sight of him, unable to turn him down while he looked at you in such a way. You swallowed hard, but eventually gave a nod.

“Okay.” You agreed, already feeling your nervousness set in. At the word, Jake immediately surrendered the Les Paul over to you. You took it, muttering a thank you and settling it on your lap. “What do you want to hear?” You asked. All four boys had no answer, overjoyed to hear whatever you were willing to play. You rested the pick between your lips as you adjusted the tuning pegs to satisfaction.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment, realizing that this was the most intimate detail you’d ever shared with them to date. You didn’t even bother to open them, too scared to see the expressions they adorned when you started to pick. You let the muscle memory guide you through the intro riff. You played it a few times, getting a feel for the song before continuing on. The second time you played it, Danny caught on and was banging a small beat into the drum. The third time, Sam joined in with the bass. The sound of all three together brought a smile to your lips, finally focused on the music rather than the fear.

“Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise,” the lyrics came like a second nature to you, all of the anxiety floating away as the words fell from your mouth. If only you knew how brutally truthful the words would turn out to be, you never would have played the song in the first place. “Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies.”

“And if you don’t love me now,

You will never love me again,

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain.”

Josh joined you on the chorus, singing the backing vocals. On the second chorus, Jake joined, too. They let you sing the verses on your own, but by the time the last chorus came around, you were all shouting the lyrics with each other. On the finishing note, you were breathless and red in the face, but you couldn’t recall a time you felt quite as alive. Your heart was beating against your ribcage, threatening to break free, and the smile on your face was blinding.

“A little?” Sam asked, his grin matching yours.

“I have a lot of free time.” You breathed, a short laugh following the statement. “I have a couple friends I play with at the bars sometimes.”

“That’s more than a hobby, y/n. That’s a passion.” He said, never once breaking his stare away from you. If your face wasn’t already red, the blush your cheeks produced would have been a dead giveaway of your feelings for him. “You’re fantastic.���

“Thank you,” you whispered, unsure of how to take to the kind words.

“I’m just upset we didn’t do that sooner.” Danny said, his palm landing on your back with a pat of encouragement.

“Well, we have all the time in the world.” You shrugged.

“You guys are thinking the same thing, right?” Jake asked, looking around the room. The three boys seemed to have an unspoken agreement, already knowing what he was about to say.

“What?” You asked, feeling left out.

“We’ve been looking for an opening act, if you and your friends are interested.” Jake finally answered. When you looked to him, you half expected him to laugh and tell you he was joking, but his expression had never been more serious.

“O-oh, no,” you laughed “no, I can’t do that.”

“Yeah, you can.” He said, his eyes searching your own, seeming to be looking straight through your soul. He knew you had it in you; he’d seen it that night at the bar. “Come with us.”

“Are you allowed to offer that?” You asked, desperate to divert the attention away from the topic at hand. “Aren’t there contracts and managers and all of that stuff involved.”

“Yeah, we can handle that.” Sam said, just as enthusiastic about the idea. Your eyes darted between the two, unsure if they were pulling your leg.

“I have a job, guys.” You brushed them off.

“That you can always come back to.” Josh spoke now, in complete agreement with the others.

“Don’t have to decide right now. Just think about it.” Danny wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into a side-hug. You felt like the air was stolen from your lungs, baffled at the idea. You couldn’t believe they had enough faith in you to ask such a thing. More than that, you couldn’t believe they liked you enough to want you to join them. You thought it was crazy, completely insane that they offered you something like that without even thinking twice. But, under the shock, you felt a small bubble of excitement. A chance to live your dream; finally a real shot with an option to fall back on. “Play us something else.” Danny spoke again, gently encouraging you to keep going.

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” You nodded, coming back to reality. You thought for a moment, trying to decide on what to play next. When you settled on a song, it only took the boys a few seconds to join in.

The late hours of the morning dwindled until early afternoon, filled with music, chatter and laughter. The spirits were so high that you even managed to forget about your internal dilemma. After a while, the group broke off into smaller conversations and the instruments grew quiet. You took it upon yourself to take a trip to the kitchen, craving a bit more caffeine and a snack to keep you going. You flicked on the coffee maker, filling the top with grounds and pressing the start button. You pulled down a mug, tapping your fingers against the counter as you waited. The stead drip seemed to take forever, your impatience showing more by the second. As you watched, gentle footsteps echoed behind you, letting you know someone had joined you.

You turned, half expecting Jake to be standing behind you, eager to put you through a bit more turmoil. A bubble of excitement arose at the thought of another minute along with him. You were met with a shock, seeing Sam approaching with a small smile stuck on his lips. “Coffee?” You asked, nodding your head towards your empty mug.

“Sure.” He agreed, taking a seat at the table. “I can’t believe you kept all of that talent a secret for so long.” You were still pleasantly surprised that Jake was true to his word; he hadn’t even mentioned the fact he’d seen you perform.

“Guess I was just shy.” You shrugged. “I don’t really tell many people.”

“I don’t know why, y/n. Talent like that should be shared with the world.” He said, honesty radiating from his tone. You didn’t answer, mostly because you weren’t sure how to, so both of you fell into comfortable silence for a few moments. “I think it would be really cool if you came with us.”

“I think it would be, too.” You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly aware of how hungover you looked. You didn’t share too many moments completely alone with Sam. Now that it was just the two of you, you were very conscious of your appearance. “But there’s a lot of stuff to consider. I have a job, I have to make sure my people are okay with it, too. We only have a few original songs and mostly stick to covers. Fuck, Sam, we don’t even have a name.” You laughed. “We play at dive bars on the weekend and forget about it by Monday. Definitely not prepared to tour with anyone.”

“You’ve got some time to figure it out. You work with music all day, every day. You probably know more about it than we do.” He offered. “You kept up with us really well. Clearly you guys know what you’re doing. I’m sure you sound even better with them.”

“Are you trying to peer pressure me into this?” You gave a smirk, just to let him know you were joking.

“Yeah,” he laughed, not afraid to admit it. “I want you to come.” The profession was blunt, hitting you hard. He’d never been so direct with you about anything, especially concerning anything like that. You watched him, unsure of how to respond. Instead of answering, you turned and filled the mugs with coffee. You sat one in front of him, taking a seat across from him. “I miss you when we’re gone, you know.” You were sure that your heart stopped beating for a moment.

“I miss you guys, too.” You replied once you’d had enough time to process the statement.

“No, I miss you.” He clarified, making sure you knew he wasn’t speaking on a broad spectrum. “I mean, I’m sure they do, too, but I miss you.”

“Oh,” you mustered, feeling the redness creep to your cheeks again. “I miss you when you’re gone, too, Sammy.” He gave you a soft smile, happy to hear the confirmation.

“I was wondering where you were, last night. I didn’t even get to play a game with you. We always play together.” You gave a nervous chuckle, unsure of how to answer.

“I just wasn’t feeling the best.” You lied. “I would’ve asked, but it seemed like you were a bit… occupied.” You trailed off at the end, not really wanting to dive into the specifics of him and the other girl.

“Oh, that girl?” He asked, looking for confirmation. You nodded. “I don’t even know her name, honestly.” Your stomach sank, realizing you’d completely mistaken the situation. Your feelings clouded the interaction, making it seem like the conversation was much more flirtatious than it actually was. You wondered how many times you’d done it over the course of the last few months. You still weren’t sure where the conversation was headed, exactly, so you didn’t respond right away. “I was hoping to talk to you, instead.”

“You never came over.” You said, eyes searching his face for another clue as to what he was hinting at.

“I never do, I get too nervous.” He chuckled. You leaned back in your chair, taking in his words as he spoke. You weren’t sure you were understanding the intent of his conversation, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to. “You and Jake seemed pretty close last night.” Your eyes widened, shocked that he had even noticed the interaction.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” You shrugged. He watched you, waiting for something else. When you didn’t respond, he looked to his mug on the table, picking it up and taking a sip.

“Just be careful,” He said, looking back to you. You cocked your head to the side, wondering what the warning was for, or why he thought he was the one who had to give it.

“There’s nothing to ‘be careful’ about.” You replied. “We just played beer pong together.” You chuckled, wondering if he could see through the lie. The words seemed to perk him up a little bit, but you didn’t want to read too much into the details, just in case you were wrong.

“I think he might be looking for something more than that.” Sam gave another soft smile, but it was more sullen than the last. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Sam, you don’t have to worry. I can handle myself.” You assured him.

“I always worry about you.” The statement itself was friendly enough, and you wouldn’t have thought anything of it had he not reached over and rested his hand on top of yours. The small action was enough to send your stomach into butterflies and make your breath catch in your throat. When you looked up to meet his eyes, he was already watching your face. He didn’t move his hand, but gave you the freedom to pull away if you wanted. You noticed, in that moment, just how similar him and his brother were. Not just in looks, but their expressions, too. You could go as far as to say even down to the illusive nature of their words and actions.

You thought it must be some violent trick from the universe, a scheme to make you the laughing stock of the world. There was no logical reason that you’d fallen into Jake’s hands, and shared such an intimate moment with Sam right after. A moment in which you had been craving for so long, one where he seemed to be showing you a hint of what you were looking for the whole time. If you had waited just one more day, you imagined you wouldn’t be feeling so guilty for wanting to lean over and kiss him. But, as you sat with his hand over yours, the only thing you could think of was your rising sense of remorse, stronger than any you’d felt before. This time, it wasn’t on behalf of your feelings for Sam; it was on behalf of Jake, and your fear of hurting him. A fear of losing him, even. So far, your shame was based off your crush on Sam and your guilt for sleeping with his brother despite that feeling. This time, you’d actually found yourself involved with Jake, even if you were unsure of the nature of the relationship. It felt dirty feeling this way about Jake’s brother, now, after his hands had been on you so intimately. It almost felt like a betrayal to him.

You wondered, if you had put a stop to Jake’s antics the night before, if Sam would still be across from you with intent on professing such feelings. After so long of waiting, you thought he might only be interested in you when the idea of you being with someone else arose. That thought pained you more than the rest. In attempt to satiate the thought, you opted to believe you were looking much too far into the interaction. It was a friendly conversation, and a gesture that matched. Just two people drinking coffee, experiencing the lull of a hangover and seeking some form of comfort.

“So, it was just a friendly game?” He asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear the desired response, instead.

“Yeah,” you whispered, nodding along with your words. You both knew you were lying, but it didn’t make the difference for him. “Why?”

“Because I’d hate for my favourite girl to have feelings for my brother, and not me.” Your eyes fluttered closed, the statement hitting you like a train. You thought you might be sick; the sound producing a much worse feeling than any part of the hangover. A day sooner, and you’d be jumping for joy. Now, you wished he hadn’t said anything at all. Although you still thought that his intent was to keep you on his line instead of someone else’s, you prayed you were wrong. As gross as you felt about it, the reciprocation of feelings was euphoric. Even so, the knowledge only made a messy situation even worse.

The part of you that was in love with Sam was begging you to fall into him, to revel in the admission and give in to his affection. The part of you that was immersed in Jake was screaming at you to stand up and walk away, to pretend you hadn’t heard a thing that he said. Instead, you sat, staring at Sam wide-eyed and void of any response. A thought worse than the ones previous surfaced, that maybe this wasn’t a coincidence, or conscious choice that Sam made, waiting until after Jake made a move. Maybe this was your repayment for succumbing to the devil’s temptation. The conversation you shared with Danny the night before was pounding against your skull. Perhaps, this was your karma. You’d failed miserably at utilizing your lesson, and this was the universe’s indignant punishment.

The most disgraceful knowledge of all, was that your moral compass was completely destroyed; the need to have Sam in your life was debilitating, and the thought of never having Jake again was paralyzing. For a moment, the sinful little devil made its reappearance, working hard at convincing you to have them both. The idea of keeping your feelings a secret was long gone, and was replaced the new idea of entertaining both boys just so you wouldn’t have to go without. As misguided as it was, the notion was the most sound you could come up with, because the thought of having neither was unbearable.

The last piece of crucial information was unknown to you; the brothers knew exactly what they were doing. Both taking a keen interest in you long ago, and only finally engaging in the battle of courtship. They had never been able to turn down a bit of friendly competition, especially when the prize was so grand. And brothers they were, because that same streak of evil ran through both. Ever so slowly pulling you in with their captivating eyes and electrifying touches; driving you crazy without doing much of anything at all. As innocent as their intentions may have been, as amiable as the competition seemed, there was no escaping the fact that someone would end up suffering. With everyone hoping it wouldn’t be them, you all failed to see the misery you were wishing upon the others.

It was a situation that left the sinister laughing; the devil was only awaiting the downfall.

Heartless challenge,

pick your path and I’ll pray

[amymbona]

I think that people who hate on the Challengers main three really forget that no human is perfect, that people are flawed and you can't expect everyone to always make the best decision.

As much as it may offend someone, you can't always be the good guy. People tend to overreact or act irrationally when something crashes with their plans or just causes some issues. I myself am very aware of this and know I am a bitch in certain situations, that I have hurt some people before or done something that may not have been the best decision at the moment. But things happen, have happened and as much as you regret something, you can't really change your decision.

Tashi, who's probably the most hated out of the three (which is really fucking odd, considering that she's literally the main character of the movie), has gone through something really fucking hard. She lost her whole goddamn career, the thing that was her fuel, the main purpose of her life, and she never even made the decision to end it. It simply ended mid way, before she could become the world champion and call herself the best. She was so young and healthy and successful and then lost it all because of one goddamn injury.

It's obvious that at first she blamed Patrick because of their argument before that match. She must have been so fucking stressed not to see her boyfriend at the match, knowing that he's gonna be gone for the next few months. At that moment, she needed to blame someone and Patrick was the right one. Though I agree it was unfair that she was that rude to him in 2019 too, but then again when I think about it, the interaction probably reminded her of the injury once again. But then, when she slept with him, in my eyes it was because he reminded her of the peak of tennis. Because he was better than Art. And the better the tennis is, the more Tashi is tempted to grasp it.

Patrick, poor guy, is seen as this sex obsessed bad boy who only find pleasure in fucking women. And while his movie personality is concerned about those things, he is much more. I believe he really genuinely loved both Tashi and Art and then when they left him found himself totally lost. They were his compass, his safe space, each of them offering something different but something he very much needed. He was hurt by them too, first Tashi after Atlanta 2011 when she just went on living with Art, and then when he hoped she'd fuck him in his car in 2019, but she only did it to save her marriage with Art. (That's also why I believed she truly loved Art. I think she wanted to sleep with Patrick at that time, but she could have done it without asking Patrick to lose.) And then by Art, in the sauna, telling him he doesn't matter. It's obvious that Patrick was seeking revenge against Art, hrnce performing the ball gesture during the final match.

In my opinion, Patrick is the most "innocent" one, having not sinned as much. But he's not flawless either. Using his tinder dates to find a place to sleep, flirting with women to earn what he needs. As I'm writing this, honestly, I can't think of many more bad things that he's done. And that only shows the dishonesty, how we were almost showed that he is the bad guy, only because two successful people have decided that they hate him. What happened wasn't really his fault, but the mutual hate he received from Art and Tashi convinced us as well that he deserved it.

Art is honestly a bit of bitch, too victimized and babied, but then again on the other side, he's the prime example of someone who stands up for himself and then gets hated for it. He got too fed up with his own best friend for constantly casting a shadow over him. Went so fucking far to spread rumors over Patrick, how he's a womanizer and all that stuff, just to eventually play the good guy with Tashi, take care of her and then marry his way into her life. (He went a bit overboard with that, but good fucking job, plotting such a thing.) Poor Art, people say, how Tashi responds that she knows to the fact that he loves her. But once I read somewhere that she responded this way because she was aware that Art can't really verbally display his feelings, and she just wanted to make sure that she knows he loves her. And that's what I believe.

It's obvious that Art fell into depression, the combination of his injury and non fulfilling tennis career. This probably caused him to be almdor indifferent, perhaps rude and bitchy too Tashi, getting fed up with the career he has built for her. Oh, he definitely loved tennis, I'm sure of it, but not as much as Tashi did. And because he loved her, he allowed her to mold him into her good tennis boy. But he was a human with free will too, and didn't really need to ask for Tashi's approval, despite her being his coach. Doing all that back arch, sad expression thing, he was just trying to manipulate her to feel bad for him, probably a form of self defense or response caused by his depression. Again, not a flawless human.

All three of them lost something. Tashi lost tennis, her biggest passion. Patrick lost Art and Tashi, the people be loved. Art lost all the enjoyment of life, becoming miserable. Many things have caused them to behave the way they behaved and showed us that nobody can be fucking perfect, that sometimes people just are bitchy and you really can't find them being all sunshine and rainbows. But we also know that all three of them are tender, capable of love and giggles, we know that they can be nice and kind and loving and that's okay too. People are colourful and full of emotions, each one of them different and made not to be perfect.

[flamedraco]

Gonna talk about one of my favorite Wilbur headcanons.

A lot of people think Wilbur can't fight. He doesn't wear armor, he's a pacifist by nature, etc etc.

I disagree entirely. Here's why:

His father is the Angel of Death.

We consider Technoblade his twin brother.

He was considered a general in L'manburg.

I believe he can fight. And he can fight well. He just chooses not to.

I like that idea that Phil trained the twins, and being trained by the Angel of Death has combat benefits. Not to mention potential demigod blood if you think Kristin is the mother of the twins (which is usually the route I go down). They have powers, they're typically inhuman in some regard. So with Techno's general combat prowess, I feel like Wilbur can rival him just has a different fighting style.

Why does Wilbur not wear armor? Because he fights fast. He prefers being quick on his feet. I like the idea of him being elytrian and the thing about elytrian, as an origin, is that they literally can't have strong armor as part of their entire thing. Fucking. Drawback, lore, whatever. They can't have heavy shit. I like to think that Wilbur hates the idea of armor because it would only get in his way. He's a speed fighter, he chooses the sword over the axe and disregards defense in favor of offense. He uses potions and bows to stay light on his feet and fight faster than most can keep up with.

He just chooses to not put himself on the front lines because he believes in the concept of do no harm, but take no shit. He will fight back if it's necessary, but if he can avoid drawing his own weapon he won't even bring it. He prefers to strategize over being in the trenches. And he acknowledges that, as the person seen as the leader, if he goes down so does the entire operation. And him seeing armor and shields as a drawback means he, logically, knows his troops would be more focused on trying to keep him safe over their own safety. He can take care of himself if push comes to shove, but he doesn't want to be a liability. So he stays back, he makes the plans, but he keeps his sword sharp just in case.

He would prefer to talk his way out of situations. I feel like that is intrinsic to his character. But it's not because he can't fight. It's because he sees weapons and violence as a last resort.

Y'know. Until he started to fucking lose it in Pogtopia. Because he was just. Not thinking straight then. At all.

Which is why I really like the idea of, in any situation where he offers to spar with Q and help him learn his way around combat, Quackity does not believe his ass knows shit about it.

Only for Wilbur to put him on the ground a few seconds later before the little shrike bastard can even process what happened.

Technoblade strikes me as a character who fights with this sense of honor. Unless you yourself bring dishonesty to the battle, he will treat it like a duel and abide by the rules of such. Whatever those rules would be. Techno strikes me as a character who only cheats if he catches you in the act of cheating because then it's fair game. But most of the time he doesn't need to because he's just that good.

Wilbur is not an honorable fighter. He can have that sense of nobility when he feels it necessary or appropriate, but he understands that honor has no place on a battlefield when you're fighting for your life.

Technoblade feels...calculated but brutal.

Wilbur strikes fast, hard, and without mercy. And when he teaches combat he places emphasis on strategy, knowing your opponent, and most importantly, knowing to not play fair if someone is trying to kill you.

He looks at Quackity and tells him that if he insists on using an axe, he needs to play to his strength. He needs to look for weaknesses, he needs to fight like his life depends on it. He'd adjust Quackity's stance, he'd be overwhelmingly clinical about it. He's professional and when he fights it's like he's an entirely different person. Wilbur fighting is where you start to see his heritage. Who he's related to. And he wants to separate himself from that legacy. But it's still there, lingering in the background. The son of The Angel of Death and Goddess of Death, the twin brother of a demigod of war.

Wilbur is just. He can fight. He can absolutely definitely fight.

He just doesn't.

I touched on this concept in Arsonist's Waltz but because it was discontinued I don't think I got the chance to really expand on the concept. But this is always been how I've viewed his character's stance on fighting. He doesn't get physical because he believes in trying to resolve things with peace if possible. But if push comes to shove...he will. And he will do so without mercy or hesitation.

[bonefall]

Oh I ADORE the idea of a Bumble/Star Flower dynamic. I always imagine Star Flower to have this sweet and soft exterior to her that allows her to manipulate Clear Sky, but is in actuality a cold, solemn, purpose-minded cat who takes no shit. Her geniunely taking interest in this sweetheart kitty who's full of confidence (and probably hates Clear Sky's guts as much as she does LMFAO) is so intriguing pleaaaaase tell me more ❤️

At the moment it's just sort of indulgence because I think their dynamic is interesting, so I haven't completely leaned onto it yet. I probably will though.

What I like a lot about them is that they're so different, yet so alike. They're both victims of their canon's misogyny, in opposite ways. It killed Bumble and prevented Star Flower from being what she could fully be.

In BB, Star Flower was the high priestess of One Eye, in one way, a daughter in others. He was violent and controlling. She was charming and capable. She did exactly what he wanted from her, and she enjoyed being his devotee. They loved each other like a parent and child, and for him, she would stay blind to the pain in the world.

Because she KNOWS that what she does hurts and kills people. Clear Sky isn't the first cat she's skilfully bled out slowly. But when her God is involved, this is not a terrified, screaming person on an altar. It's meat to be prepared for her beloved father.

And as long as she has One Eye to serve, she doesn't have to think about the humanity that is part of her new form. In a way, she's the same extinct medicinal flowers she used to be, before she took a shape as a mortal. She's his treatment. His bouquet. The flowers at a funeral.

And that's a kind of toxic dynamic, too, yknow. To love someone who merely offers you the simplicity of being their butcher.

How could she ever have prepared for his DEATH? To be SEPARATED from him? She is like an angel separated from her lord, whose one purpose has been destroyed.

And then she seduces Clear Sky, the treacherous beast who betrayed them. She'll bleed him like a goat, and be reunited with her father. And even more--

She'll offer it to Thunderstar, too! He understands her anger! Skystar is a snake who's bitten him as well. He will be grateful. There will be more who worship the warmth of the God of Summer, just like her.

But he rejects it, and you know why?Because he's had a toxic dad too.

Not one he loved like she did her own, but it gave him the clarity to realize that sacrificing Skystar HERE, after being backstabbed at his lowest point and suffering for hours, to bring a MONSTER back into the world, would just be revenge.

...and revenge is what Star Flower wants, too. She's hurt, but doesn't recognize that emotion.

(Still working out the climax of Thunderstar's Justice. I'm thinking that One Eye pops up, half-ressurected, and turns on Star Flower for his last sacrifice and Thunderstar saves her from that)

And after that, she can't go back to SkyClan. Of course.

When she speaks to Bumble for the first times, Star Flower is still threatening betrayals. Insisting, chuckling, that she's done Terrible Things and will do them again.

And Bumbs clocks immediately, "You're doing that to get a rise out of me and it won't work because no one would tease their secret evil scheme."

Bumble is going through a lot right now, actually. Thunderstar is getting good at speaking Parkmew on his own, now. Sparrow Heart, her daughter, betrayed her to join SkyClan in the pursuit of power. Her son Pebble Heart goes by Owl Eyes these days, and he's a big strong warrior who doesn't need her. It seems like no one needs her.

She talks a big game about her self-worth, but a lot of it is bluster and self-assurance. She'll insist she's the BEST AND COOLEST CAT THIS SIDE OF THE EVERYWHERE but she's hiding a LOT of guilt, none of it deserved.

I feel like Star Flower is fascinated by this. The dishonesty here. How Bumble presents herself as boisterous and over-confident, but hides a great sadness within it.

Ahh, Bumble wants a God to serve too, doesn't she? Everyone does. Is a Clan a sort of God to serve? ...yes, this is making sense.

For Bumble to Star Flower... she's brand new, an outsider just like she was once. A very strange one with strange humor, who exists at a time when her life is undergoing a lot of changes. She likes the way Star Flower is so interested in her. She enjoys showing her around the territory.

God, sometimes it just... it reminds her of Turtle Heart, you know? Before Tom came. When it was just them, and they were young and they were learning all these wonderful things together.

It never got better, really, losing her lover and her best friend. She's just been GO GO GOing for years, GO out of this Clan, GO get your kittens, GO open negotiations. It wasn't until NOW that she's really had time to process the loss of Turtle Heart.

And that's sort of where they are, now. There's not really an end in sight, they're just very involved and interested in each other. Not quite courting, but not NOT courting either. Sappho and her acquaintance lmao.

[stick-ball]

I dont know how many of you will agree with this, but recently I had a realisation about Kevin. lt could be broken down to 3 phases:

The first is that Kevin is existing in very extreme emotional states - he either completely removes his emotions and as such vulnerability from a situation, or he goes all in reactive, which ends up with him being extremely dominant and agressive in his expression. The in between only happens when he is in the process of bouncing from one to the other.

Here is why I think he acts as such: as a kid, he had to really moderate how he expressed himself and constantly adapted to the situation. He had to be the golden child for the cameras, he had to be unfallible as an athlete due to his legacy, at the same time, he had to be submissive and lesser than for Riko and Tetsuji. Since most of the attention he got was both very keen and very dominant while emotionally removed (I wonder how much actual prize he got for normal things), it created a deeply rooted fear of honesty. It would be pretty natural for him to feel resentment at constantly not being the right thing, always lacking. As such, he became ultimately dishonest in his expression, which makes him repellant to opening up and being vulnerable in relationships. I used to think most of his dishonesty stemmed from fear because the truths he knew were very delicate and dangerous, but I am wondering if it wasn't born out of this deeper feeling of inadequacy. As a result, the Kevin we meet is used to fitting into someone else's ideas, and that's because he feels like every relationship is based on him GIVING them something of himself. Every one, not just the one with Riko. Living is a sacrifice of self for him, and he will end up, willingly or not, molding himself into whatever he feels he has to give away. When he asks for Wymack to take him in, when he makes the deal woth Andrew, when he wants Neil to believe in a future, when he drops all conctact with Thea, or Jean, after leaving the ravens. He feels like it's expected of him to be what others want to see him as and not what he wants to be. He can't be both of those things at once, so he is what they want or nothing at all. Just think of his attachment to the number two on his cheek and the meltdown that accompanied him, finally choosing to stand up for himself. To finally choose to come into his own identity.

That mechanism would lead from the beginning to him being very removed from his own wants in order to protect them. So, after a while, he would lose his sense of self. Which is funny, because that would lead to him having to relearn it through first finding the negative image of his preferences and his true self, like when capturing a scene in traditional photography.

As such, he is able to pinpoint everything he hates, dislikes, doesn't want and agree with - because they are an immediate danger. But that doesn't immediately lead him to finding what he likes, what he wants or what he is.

And this is where it gets interesting. This behaviour would also be responsible for him feeling very secretive about everything he does find that he likes and enjoys. For example history, if someone made it into a adressed thing, that he likes history, it would feel like he lost that interest, for the sole reason it's not just his anymore. You with me? Not in general, but in a personal relationship. That's why he is so annoyed at people not being good enough for his standards at exy but also not being excited at them caring or trying to meet them, only more and more critical even when he is totally having fun and excited about this.

The fact that even his interest in something like history could be demonized isba pretty common protection mechnaism. That's because when we shelter ourselves by pretending to not exist we are completely vulnerable when that illusion drops. It makes sense that he keeps everyone and everything at an arm's length with his cold and biting demeanour. Feeling like every person is a threat to who he is explains how screwed up almost all of his relationships are.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/dragynkeep/723731318921363456/i-dont-really-understand-the-argument-that-aang

Thoughts? No pressure, don't read if you don't want

"The Lion Turtle saves Aang from making a hard decision" It literally didn't. Aang full on said the words "I have to kill Fire Lord Ozai." He is not happy about it, but he is willing to do it. Even AFTER the Lion Turtle gives him an alternative he still almost does it anyway while in the Avatar state, only stopping himself at the last minute. And even BEFORE the Lion Turtle he had been willing to admit "Fire Lord Ozai is a terrible person, and the world would probably be better off without him"

Aang WAS willing to do the same as Gyatso and take a life if absolutely necessary. But he had a different option, and he took it - again, after seriously considering going for the "just kill the bastard" route.

Could the Lion Turtle have been set up better? Yes. But that doesn't change that fact that Aang's view-point was challenged and he concluded that pacism does not have to mean "just let the bad guy kill everyone", and to say that he didn't is either complete dishonesty or an admission that this kids show was too complicated for you to understand.

"Aang is not only responsible for himself" Neither was Zuko. Yet he let Ozai live when he had the perfect opportunity to kill him - even better than the ones Aang got for most of his battle with Ozai - because he believed it wasn't his fate. Where is the hate for Zuko?

And where's the hate for Iroh for going "Oh, even if I could defeat Ozai, history would see it as just a brother killing another brother for power?" yet sending his nephew to a potentially fatal battle with his niece for the title of Fire Lord? Where's the hate for him for going "Well, what history will think of me is more important than me at least backing up the Avatar?" Why didn't Iroh, the White Lotus, or any of the adults so much as offer be by Aang's side in the battle?

If everyone is throwing the responsibility on his lap, then Aang is the one to decide how he's gonna handle that responsibility, and if other people got a problem with that, they better step the hell up and take charge for once.

"This might be a kid's show instead of Game Of Thrones, but people still died, so it could have had the main character save the day by killing the bad guy"

Buddy. Buddy. Come on.

Avatar TELLS us Ozai disfigured his son, and we see the scar on his face, but it doesn't SHOW us the gory details. We KNOW people died, and we see bodies, but we don't see burnt corpses, people being crushed under rocks and bleeding to death, or hitting the ground after a fatal fall. Nick downright had the writers change scenes before they were animated because they were considered "too violent." They even cut away when Sokka slices a watermellon with his sword because the watermellon in question was representing a human head - it wasn't even a human being!

Kids shows have very specific, often kind of absurd rules - Teen Titans is infamous because Cartoon Network let the villain kidnap, torture, and try to murder to murder the heroes and even be implied to be a pedophlie and we see him burn away a teenager's clothes, yet he HAD to be called "Slade" instead of "Deathstroke" because "Think of the children!"

Saying "Nickelodeon is never gonna let the good guy save the day by murdering the bad guy" is not at all absurd just because they let the writers get away with other tihngs.

And once again, even if they COULD get away with that, they still wouldn't do it because as the anon so kindly pointed out, Aang's arc and the entire theme of mercy the show had from the very beginning do NOT allow that ending to make any goddamn sense.

Characters saving the day through murder is not inherently more "mature" or "more satisfying to watch" than the hero being merciful, and this kids show is not Game Of Thrones, GET OVER YOURSELVES ALREADY.

You like a kids show. A cartoon for 7-year-olds. A show in a children's network. Just because it didn't talk down to it's target audience doesn't mean you can expect it to deliver stuff it never promised you in the first place.

[anonymous-kotlc-thoughts]

I think a lot of these anons make good points, and people don't listen to them, but rather dismiss them a) because SOME of the asks are rude (which. fair) and/or b) they just don't want to hear anything bad about what they like (which is also fair but seems a bit dishonest?? who knows)

this fandom doesn't seem toxic, though, so that's nice. I feel like some people just bend over backwards to try and justify things that aren't good (emotional cheating is bad? right guys? RIGHT?) but i don't know. something's just a little weird here but not bad. at least not yet, and hopefully never.

Let's look at this one specifically:

https://www.tumblr.com/anonymous-kotlc-thoughts/754103133711581184/look-when-it-comes-to-sokeefe-you-cant

If you look at the verbal responses to it, you can see that people are just dismissing what the confession was saying because of both a) and b).

Here are my thoughts on it:

'look, when it comes to sokeefe, you can't criticize it, okay? even if you really like LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE SERIES, if you don't like sokeefe, you just gotta be quiet. And put the book down, man.

Dear anon, I'm sorry if someone said that to you, that sounds weird. You can criticize what ever you like, so long as you aren't being mean to other fans or sending threats to anyone, or something like that.

'It's Sophie's story, why you always gotta hate on her happiness?? She's happy with Keefe! You just gotta accept that; she's happy with Keefe, why are you such a meanie?

I'd noticed people saying that too, and while I don't think the characters shouldn't 'get to be happy,' you can be happy in bad situations or doing things that are bad, so I do think that argument's a little weird.

'You can't criticize Keefe, either, or his obsession love for Sophie and how he idealizes and infantilizes the crap out of her- it's super sweet and healthy, and it makes them happy, so if you don't like it just put the book down!

'Put the book down' again. What happened? Hopefully that wasn't toxicity (I doubt it was, you guys-other people in the fandom- seem nice!) As for idealizing, infantalizing, and obsession, I honestly DO agree with that too. I might just like Sophie too much

'emotional cheating's cute, but don't worry! no one was right in that situation btw but it was super sweet and healthy for Keefe!

I think I saw the post that was talking about this specifically, but I can't remember the exact wording- they were saying that no one was right in the love triangle, but that Keefe shouldn't try to not talk to sophie because that wouldn't be healthy for him. I don't think him staying was healthy, either, and maybe he should have just told Fitz. Honesty is the best policy and all. I have seen people call what he and sophie were doing in Legacy 'cute,' so I don't think this part of the confession is intellectual dishonesty either.

'Forget that 'if they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you' thing! It only happened because they (you know, teenagers) were in love! And Sophie didn't even know it! How sweet is that?!

I haven't seen anyone talk about if they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you, but

'People can be allowed to criticize a part of a work and still like that work'

Very true. I think that might be the bigger problem with shipping discourse in this specific fandom, that I haven't seen in others.

.

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In other words, I think that what the person was saying was actually right, but just too mean. So no one listened really.

I think that if you like Sokeefe, then just like it. You don't have to make arguments that are kind of weird, just feel free to enjoy it!

But when someone criticizes it, don't be afraid to read why. they might be right about a few things

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[skzstoryvault]

Into the Earth (Hyunjin, weird and spicy)

Hyunjin x f!reader

multi-chapter fic

AU

happens a few years in the future

Hyunjin is in his post-idol era. Working as an artist and fashion icon.

Warnings: mentions of scamming, dishonesty, abusive people and various kinds of abuse, parasites (and not the Bong Joon Ho clever kind), misogyny (but not Hyunjin!), ageism. Nudity (Hyunjin). More to be added with later chapters.

Hyunjin opens up and confesses to some very painful things in this chapter.

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real persons depicted here. They all deserve the world.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

Like I mentioned, this story is finished, but I will slightly change its course based on the way the chapters are received.

Story title is inspired by a Lorna Shore song

Part 5

Part 6 - Hesitate to feel

When he returns to the house, to help with dinner, he finds you sitting at the stone table outside, wrapped in a blanket and typing away on your laptop. “Good evening, jefa. Everything alright?” He greets you, looking concerned by the blanket. 

“Hi, Hyunjin. I hope it’s nothing serious, but I think my body is trying to fight off a cold. I know it’s hot outside but right now I am freezing, hence the blanket. I was just reading some client feedback, do you want to sit with me and read too? Some of them make some good suggestions.”

“Sure.” Hyunjin says, hurrying to come sit right next to you on the stone bench. He learned pretty quickly that sitting opposite someone at a table is a Nordic habit and here it is not seen as friendly. Here, people love to sit close like lovers, even if it is to share a plate of tapas and argue about football. “Paloma told me you’ve been on your A game for the longest time. Are you having a good time here? Is it what you imagined?” You ask him, becoming hyper-aware of his closeness. He smells good, like the fragrant breeze blowing this time of the year and the ripe fruit he’s been picking the entire day. 

“It is more than I hoped. I thought it would just be… harsh and bad, that it would teach me what it’s like in the real world, but… If I’m honest, I don’t think this is the real world. Everyone is happy to work here. Everyone is friendly and supportive, even though we are all so different. You take care of us. There’s no one whipping us to make us work, or keeping us in ugly barracks without water, electricity and internet. I have more time off now than I did when I was an idol.” “You were a very good idol, from what I’ve gathered. I saw a few dance solos and challenges.” You admit. “What made you leave the industry? You seemed very popular.”

Hyunjin looks down at the structure of the table, frowning and sighing before he decides to speak. “I was very popular. But I was also very hated. I guess it comes with the fame. People are just envious and want what you have, without wanting to also put in the work to be where you are. And then… I had to go be in the military for a year and a half. It… fucked me up. I was told that the military would help us become more self-sufficient, resourceful and mature. Well… Self-sufficient? They told us to just never complain and if there is something bad, we should keep it inside because men don’t do therapy and talk about problems. Men solve problems, they don’t have problems! I got beaten up there. By the superiors and the other guys. When I tried to report that I was bullied, I got hit and told I should deal with it like a man and not cry to a parent like a little boy. It was so humiliating too, the backhanded slaps and the belts. Or the soap twisted in a wet towel. I once got jumped in the shower. Couldn’t sleep well, ever, because they always did something to me to hurt or annoy me. The others kept threatening me that they would cut my face in my sleep because no one needs to be too good looking and they have to… even the playing field. Eventually I learned to fight back. And I hated that the most. I didn’t like who I had to become to come out of that unharmed. Mostly.”

You gasp at his casual admission of what was surely one of the most horrible times in his life and you reflexively take his nearest hand between your two, wanting to comfort him. “Oh poor Hyune,” the pet name just slips and you squeeze his hand. “That’s horrifying! I’m sorry that happened to you. And I understand how you couldn’t wait to get away from that.” “Eazi told me you are a software engineer by training. That can’t have been smooth sailing all the way either. What I experienced is not out of the ordinary, it is the male experience. I just wasn’t able to toughen up from it. I was so afraid I would also get raped while there… I got so sick with stress and fear, I couldn’t sleep, and to this day I can’t poop easily anymore.” You laugh involuntarily at the TMI. “Sorry, I forgot here it’s not okay to talk about our pooping habits.” Hyunjin says, blushing and looking down. “It’s okay, I just didn’t expect that. I don’t really mind. Besides, it’s a good indicator of wellbeing.” You say. “I have a unisex first name, so I had pretty smooth sailing in my job, my CV didn’t get binned because recruiters didn’t see my name and assume I would get pregnant in the first year and go on maternity leave for two years on their dime, stuff like that. Of course, I had my fair share of injustice, because once I showed up for a job and men saw I was a woman, they didn’t like it. I was ruining their all boys’ club or some shit. My mom, who is more traditional and has more learned misogyny built in, didn’t like that I chose that career path. She also sided with my male coworkers and told me I was making waves and of course I was a problem, women have no business in those types of industries and I was just shoving myself in where I did not belong.” “That is so unfair too. And gross. If you’re good at something, you belong there.” Hyunjin says. “And… you should call me Hyune more often, I like it when people say my name with love.” 

“Alright, I’ll remember that. Hyune. That’s so cute. And it fits you. I guess we all deal with unnecessary hurdles set in our path by hateful idiots. But I wanted to ask, do you like it here? Is this place giving you what you hoped for?” “Oh, yes, absolutely. I probably won’t be doing this for years in a row, but meeting you, the others, getting to do the work, learning to cook from everyone else… It’s been so good, it made me feel like I’m not broken for wanting to slow down and simplify a bit. My life in Paris may have seemed perfect and goals for anyone else, but it was pretty hollow. I guess I’m also sad I couldn’t be with my members and be idols together indefinitely.” 

You squeeze his hand in comfort and caress his back soothingly. That must have hurt a lot to admit. “I understand missing the people who became your bonus family. Such deep bonds are very precious and anyone would hold on to them with all they’ve got.” You say. “Your industry, however, is ruthless, and doesn’t suffer anyone becoming older.” 

“Yeah, I saw it play out even more painfully with Felix. I love him so much, he’s like my miracle baby. And with him, it started while we were still active as idols, he grew up and at some point the waddling baby kitten look no longer fit him… and everyone started hating him for it. It was so painful to see people withdraw their love and support. And… some predatory people seeing it as a good opportunity to swoop in and profit off of his pain. Luckily, Felix is tough as nails and takes absolutely no shit.” “It’s obvious how much you love this guy, your entire face lights up talking about him.”

“I didn’t want to make you sad. I’m sorry.” “That’s alright, you didn’t. And I did ask. I am, however, even more impressed with the leap you’ve taken. From world-famous celebrity to… this.” 

“People always say I’m useless. That I’m too pretty to ever do anything. That I’m a pillow princess, that I can’t do shit for myself, that I need a man who treats me like a trophy wife. I guess I sold them the image I was told to embody a bit too well. I am proving to myself that I can do a lot, exactly the things everyone said I cannot do. I love waking up at dawn, eating a nice breakfast with people I like and who like me back, then going to tend to the trees and other plants. And the dogs.” 

“Mmm, spite is a great motivator.” You say, realising you’ve had Hyunjin’s hand in yours for the entire conversation and he hasn’t pulled it away. “I’m no stranger to that.” “Why do I feel like I can tell you everything and anything? You’re my boss.” “Not really, I mean, you don’t have to be here. We’re more like… friends with a secret.” You point out. “Oh, I love that!” Hyunjin says, clapping in delight. “But I still feel very comfortable with you.” “Because this is all not just low, but really no stakes. You don’t have to work for me, but you decided to do it anyway. I like keeping a chill atmosphere between all of us. Not to use that against people, but to keep the farm running and drama-free.” 

Later, in his room, Hyunjin catches himself drawing on a piece of purple packaging paper. He did not take any art supplies along, or his iPad, hoping that the year away from his tools would give him an inspiration and motivation boost. The plan is to accumulate ideas, feelings, impressions, images in his mind and then let them ferment there for a while before committing them to paper. But now he just feels the need to scribble away, the excess energy crawling under his skin like little ladybugs on leaves. It’s all just sketches of you, he notes, when he finally exhausts himself and goes to bed. You don’t even have a face in many of them, but he captured your hands perfectly, and drew them holding his hand, the way wisps of your hair peek out from under your sun hat and the way your work overalls have three top buttons popped open and of course, being a man and alive, Hyunjin looked down there to catch the casually offered glimpse of sports bra from underneath. It drives him wild, he thinks, snuggling in his bedding like a bug in a rug. How he knows you are a woman, but he forgets it completely when he’s with you. He simply can’t think of you like that, can’t easily place you in the same box as the other women he knows, hell, he can’t even think of you the same way he thinks of Paloma and Cass and Kree. You’re an enigma to him, a beautiful present wrapped in a juicy, appealing mix of power and that type of energy that always drew him to someone in the past - a quiet confidence that radiates and reassures those around the person. That’s something he loves so much in Chan, and Changbin, and Felix. He doesn’t know why he thinks of that, from the angle of someone needing protected (from what? there’s no immediate threat to him in 99,99% of the cases), but maybe the fans were right about this one thing, maybe he is like a little girl who needs to feel safe in order to be herself and he is drawn to people who give off the vibe that they will protect him, even if it’s from a too spicy fried chicken.  “Oh shit,” Hyunjin thinks. “I’m catching fee-”

And then he’s out like a light.

Part 7