#I think he probably wanted to “join” her at least once in those first few months and didn't see the point in continuing to live without her.

[pagesfromthevoid]

Begging for more future fest bob amd reader

Future Fest | b. f. | 3

Bob Floyd x teacher!reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Making out in public, Hangman is an asshole, suggestive content and allusions to sex

Author’s Note: Only because you asked so nicely, anon. Here’s another dream I had about Bob and his teacher, meeting the squad officially. GIF from @tomundsen

Masterlist | Talk to Me! | Coffee?

After the second date, there’s a third. Then a fourth. Even a fifth. And by the end of the month, she and Bob are full blown dating. Not that it came as a surprise, given after the first date he’d asked her to be his girl. 

She likes that –being his girl. 

She has never considered herself someone who dates a military man. Truthfully, the idea scares her –even now, a month and half into the relationship. Thoughts of long distance over deployments or uprooting her life sit in the back of her head. Is she willing to relocate if he asks? Is she okay with him being gone for weeks, months, even years at a time if she can’t join him?

She doesn’t know. 

Of course, these are thoughts she keeps to herself. It’s too early in the relationship to even think about those things, let alone ask Bob. She thinks this might be it for her –and she told him she’s not dating just to date; he agreed –but she doesn’t know what Bob is thinking. She can assume but she doesn’t want to scare him off if she’s wrong.

Tonight, however, they’re taking a step forward. She’s going to the Hard Deck to meet his squad. Bob seemed reluctant at first, warning her that they can be kind of rowdy. But she reminded him she spends most of her time with high schoolers —nothing a few Navy pilots can do will bother her. 

She’s already met Natasha, outside of the recruitment event. Bob insisted they meet pretty soon after their third date, wanting to make sure she knew Natasha was his partner and their jobs relied on trusting one another. She wondered at the time if he was worried she’d be jealous or something –but she was secure in herself and her relationship. 

Natasha also pulled her aside at one point and reassured her that there was nothing there except familial love. 

The Hard Deck is loud when she walks in. She’s been here once before, during a teacher appreciation event where they served teachers a free round. It isn’t exactly her kind of place; not anymore, at least. Ask her 21 year old self and this place would have been tame for her. 

She’s looking around for Bob, holding her purse strap a bit tighter than usual. She’s not sure why she’s nervous to meet his friends; she’s already met Jake, and Bob promised he’s the worst of them. But she is, and she slips up to the bar to find something solid to lean on for a second. 

“Need a drink?” The bartender asks, and she’s smiling at her. 

“Uh, yeah. Cranberry and vodka? Probably make it a double.”

“Can do.”

“You wouldn’t by chance know where Lieutenant Floyd is, would you?” She asks, leaning against the bar as her drink is slid in front of her. 

The bartender practically beams at her, pointing at her. “Oh, you’re the teacher. Bob mentioned you’d be coming by —I’m Penny. Your drinks on his tab, then.” Penny points over towards the back of the bar, grinning at her. “He’s back playing pool with the rest of the squad.”

She blushes at the idea that he’s talked about her to the bartender of their favorite bar. But she thanks Penny, taking her drink and taking a long drag of the cocktail. Then she weaves through the crowd, only stopping when she comes to the top of the short steps.

Bob is leaning over the table, stretching out to make a shot. She leans against the banister, unable to help herself as her eyes trail over his arms down to his hands. He's lean, but there’s a strength under that uniform that can’t be seen. And she loves how he feels against her. They’ve gotten pretty handsy in the last month and half, but they’re taking their time. Enjoying learning how the other ticks. 

But that certainly doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to stare a little. Or imagine those hands on her thighs or in her hair when she’s dropped off at home and alone in her bed. 

“You gonna stand there and eye fuck Baby on Board or you gonna go introduce yourself?” Hangman asks, loud enough to announce her presence, and puts a hand on her shoulder. She feels heat rising to her ears as she looks up at the pilot in disgust. 

Bob finally looks up though, eyes falling on her. He’s smiling at her brightly, handing his pool stick off to Natasha, whose glaring daggers at Hangman. As he approaches, Bob turns to Jake, and his smile fades to be a little more dark.  

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk to my girl like that,” he states, voice low. He puts his hand on Hangman’s shoulder, and she watches as his knuckles turn a little whiter as he squeezes. That motion –this side of him that she’s not seen yet –does something to her. Feels it in her stomach, between her thighs. 

Hangman, to his credit, doesn’t seem surprised by this reaction. He just pulls away and puts his hands up. “Apologies, Bobby.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” Bob counters, nodding to her. 

The pilot turns to her, nodding. “Apologies, ma’am. Wasn’t trying to offend.”

“Yet you always manage,” Bob says, dropping his hand from Jake’s shoulder and taking her hand. He pulls her over towards the rest of the team, his usual demeanor returning as he introduces her to everyone. 

“You’ve met Nat and Bagman,” he continues without missing a beat. Then he motions to everyone else –and she’s taking mental notes as he does. Rooster, Coyote, Fanboy, Payback. All call signs, all names she’ll easily remember on top of their actual names.

Rooster –Bradley –extends his hand and smiles at her politely. “Pleasure to meet you finally.”

“Finally being the key word,” Fanboy –Mickey –teases, taking her hand once Bradley lets her go. “He’s always on his phone when he’s not workin’ now –definitely can see why though.”

She laughs as Bob pulls up a chair for her, his hand never leaving her lower back. He’s always been a perfect gentleman with her; but now he’s…well, she doesn’t want to think possessive but that’s certainly how she feels. And she would be lying if she said she isn’t kind of into it. Or a lot into it. 

Crossing one leg under her as she sits down, she takes in the faces of the people that seem to mean a lot to her boyfriend. They’re all grinning, teasing one another like they’re a family. And maybe they are, she thinks. They have to rely on one another like a family –probably even more so, honestly. 

“You play, miss teacher?” Rooster asks, holding the pool stick to her. 

“Oh, uh,” she pauses, then nods, setting her drink down and taking the stick. Bob immediately picks up her glass, holding it close –protecting it. “I do. Not well –it’s been a while.”

“Well rack’em up. Let’s go.” 

“Bobby can show you if you need him to,” Hangman teases, though she shoots him a warning look with a smirk on her face. 

There’s two options now. 

One, she can put in the actual effort it takes to be decent at pool –and she is pretty good at it, really. Knock these Navy boys down a few pegs. 

Or two, she can feign ignorance and have Bob “teach” her to play pool. Let him lean over her and put his hands on her. 

The only downside –the only one –is the teasing she absolutely knows will come from option two. She doesn’t mind the teasing, but she knows Bob gets a bit riled up from it. He’s mentioned it before, how sometimes it goes a little too far.

She decides that option two is far more fun, and she can make it up to him later. 

“It’s been a hot minute,” she admits, looking at Bob with a flirty grin. “I could do with a reminder.”

“Oh, uh,” He hesitates, just a second, before handing Natasha her drink and standing up. “Yeah, of course.”

She suddenly regrets wearing jeans as he stands behind her, taking the pool stick to help her line up the shot. He’s explaining what to do –actually explaining it, bless his heart –before leaning her over the table. One of his hands is guiding down hers, holding the pool stick carefully. The other is on her lower back. 

Someone wolf whistles. She has no idea who. She doesn’t even care, honestly. Because even though her shot is bad, she’s pressed back into Bob when she stands up and his hand moves to rest on her hip, right where her shirt rides up. 

“Woops,” she sighs, looking up at him from over her shoulder. She stands on her toes and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Guess you’ll have to give me some more lessons.” 

He’s blushing brightly, nodding some as he sits back down. She wants to take a picture so bad. He’s cute like this; even cuter when she considers how he was acting just barely half an hour ago. 

The teasing came just soon after she “tries” again, but she passes the game off to Natasha in exchange for her drink. Feeling bold still, she moves to sit on Bob’s lap, perched on his knee. He immediately pulls her against him, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“Having fun yet?” She asks, taking a sip of her drink. 

“Oh yeah,” he grins, wrapping his arm around her waist. “I think you’re having more fun than I am, though.”

“I might be,” she admits, setting her glass on the counter behind them. Then she shifts some, draping her arms around his neck and sits sideways in his lap. “Is that okay?”

“I like that you’re flirting with me,” he confesses, his hand finding itself resting on the top of her thighs. His thumb rubs circles dangerously close to the inside. “Didn’t do a lot of that before you agreed to be my girl.”

“I can flirt more, if you’d like,” she offers, running her fingers over the hair at the nape of his neck. “Could go to the bar, you can pick me up.”

He chuckles at that, squeezing her thigh gently. “No, no –I am perfectly fine with this.”

“Let me know if you change your mind,” she teases, guiding his face to look at her so she can kiss him softly. 

His grip on her thighs tightens as he returns the kiss, unable to help himself. He doesn’t seem to care that anyone else is around, especially as his hand slides further up her thigh. Her hand is tugging at his hair and he holds back a sound that she can feel in his chest. Someone clears their throat, and they pull away from each other, both a little out of breath but grinning. 

Reluctantly, she pulls away from him and stands. But she extends her hand to him, nodding towards the door. There’s no hesitation as he takes her hand and follows her lead –with his squad hollering and whistling after him. Risking a peek over her shoulder, she sees the flush on his cheeks but he’s smiling as they slip out the back door of the bar. 

She’s about to ask him where he wants to go but he’s on her before any word can get out, pressing her up against the wall outside. There’s no helping the moan that escapes her lips as she grabs at his belt to pull him flush against her. His hands are on her jaw, holding her in place as he parts her lips with his tongue, slipping it in without argument from her.

“You’re driving me crazy,” he breathes, lips brushing over hers as he pulls away just enough to press his forehead against hers. His glasses are fogged over, and he’s trying to catch his breath. “But I think you know that.”

“I do,” she grins, one of her hands reaching up to hold the back of his head so he can’t get away. “Couldn’t help it. Between the uniform and how you stood up for me earlier…honestly, it was hot.”

“Oh yeah?” His hands find her hips, pulling her against him –a knee pressing between her legs. She gasps at the friction it causes, unable to control it. “I wasn’t doing anything but stickin’ up for my girl.”

“Still the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” she sighs, hips bucking involuntarily against his thigh.

“Think you can wait ‘til we’re back at your place?” He asks, voice low in her ear as he holds her still. “I’d rather our first time not be against the wall of the Hard Deck. Was kinda hoping to make it special.”

“I think this is very special,” she teases, a breathy laugh escaping her lips. “But I can wait, I promise.”

He grins himself, pulling away from her entirely. Though he keeps one hand on her hips as he presses a kiss to her forehead. 

“Should we say goodbye?” She asks, looking up at him as she smooths out her shirt. She’s certain she knows the answer though. 

“Absolutely not.”

[iamhereinthebg]

Spoilers Tbhk chapter 126

The end of the new chapter appears with a brand new question: Who is this Akane?

Is he the same one as the one Nene just tried to kill in the last Timeline?

I had a lot of random ideas about it, so let's talk about it! Disclaimer: It will be a little bit all over the place, some ideas will contradict each other! It's mostly to see what we have right now.

One of my first idea is: Nene doesn't exist in the Present anymore.

At the end of the chapter, Nene appears during the 103rd festival which takes place in 2005, 10 years before the main timeline, and for once, she doesn't seem to wanna use the sandglass right away.

Which means it may be a timeline where Akane and Teru remember, like in chapter 112, and Akane realizes that Nene doesn't exist as she should. It may be even coming from before this after all since she was born in 1999/2000, she should be 5/6 in 2005. He then decided or is asked by Kako to check each festival from 2014 to older years, to see when she is.

It also seems that the Clock of the clock keepers only functions during the three days of the festival. I won't go into details but I am pretty sure they can use the clock keepers biggest power at least only during the festival, which is why time is also so fragile at this period and would also explain the three days limit for the memories.

Second Idea:

Nene is 'stuck' in the hourglass.

This is Kako's reaction to Nene using the hourglass, he is shocked and angry that she wants to use it despite saying his Tale but here he seems just 'mildly annoyed'. The hourglass did disappear with her though. It's great to keep in mind that The sanglass wants to get more and more people into it, probably gaining power like this like the God Pit. Contrary to the God of the pit who at least gives people wishes in exchange, the SandGlass only set people to fail. Its malicious intention way more present than the other Kami the god pit.

It always make Nene go back to the Sand everytime, never allowing her to say she wants to get her old timeline back, to stay there, never giving her a break into the loop, driving people quickly into madness and losing all senses of self.

'It's alright, you can try again and again and again' until your lose your life and soul so you can join us. The Sandglass already knows what's waiting for anyone who uses it, it's never offering a solution, just forcing her to go back until she completely loses it. Making her thinks she has a choice in any of the decisions when she has none. After killing all her friends, I am pretty sure only a few more loops would be enough to make her take her own life or die by becoming much more reckless, and finally be part of the sandglass.

All stories told by Kako end up with the person using it dying. Either by their own hands or by others. The only one who ''didn't kill himself'' is the ClockMaker, putting a curse onto his own soul so it could never rest, so his soul would remember what he did and create a supernatural born from grief. So he could prevent people from doing the same mistake as all those people. The clockMaker is the only one who didn't use the sandglass 'one last time' to get what he wanted.

The Sandglass doesn't care what the present will look like, it only wants to empower itself by using greedy humans.

Which is why I think there is a possibility that the timeline Nene is in right now, is 'stuck' in the sandglass. I can't explain exactly how it would work tbh, maybe that just the sandglass 'create' false or alternatives timelines, enough to make the human using it go insane. Like it's a sandglass who can ''travel'' through timelines? I don't really know how it would work, but the dimension Nene is in is clearly a different space like the Nowhere where rules don't apply as in the real world.

But only humans can have access to it, hence why Akane is the one at the end who appears to potentially get her out, not Kako or Mirai, but a human, who can break the rules that bound the supernaturals and can fall under curses more easily, who can be cursed so can lure the sanglass to allow him to use his power. The sandglass would allow a human to use it, not a supernatural.

I already said here that I think there is a possibility Akane was already going after Nene since some times. The question now is: from which timeline it is? This this will be even harder to explain.

I personnaly think that Akane from the first new timeline (chapter 112 to 125) and from chapter 111 are the same, or at least, share the same memories.

Everything he says in chapter 113 is just so personal.

Which add to my idea that Nene is in a different timeline, that is not the same as the one she just left. She is not trying to change the timelines she is in, she is in a brand new one. The last twos were way more linked together than the ones Nene is in.

Because Teru and Akane don't remember anything, compared to the old one where the clock keepers used their powers.

Like when Kako uses its power in chapter 27, or when people are stuck in boundaries.

People with high spiritual energy always have better chance to remember.

Which implies to me that Nene hasn't really gone back in Time in the same way as they did previously. The Sandglass works differently that the clock keepers's clock. Kako and the Cat stayed in the real hourglass/clock.

Nene only has a part of its sand. The big part of it is controled by Kako and is what helps going back in Time, the clock keepers' powers over the Past.

I just wanna note that for the new timeline, only those who were present during the changes, ended up remembering right away (Nene and Teru). But it still happened at one point for others characters like Kou and Mitsuba/Sousuke. Characters like Tsuchigomori aren't shown remembering anything, but it's hard to say how much it may affect him since he is an old supernatural. His three days of memories left may have already passed, this memory thing is really wonky and only works when AidaIro want it to work though so I have no proof.

I also personnaly don't think the Akane from the many timelines Nene goes through, is the same as we see at the end of chapter 125. I don't think this Akane is supposed to remember the timelines. For a lot of different reasons that I think don't make sense, but Nene is pretty obvious in the way she acts that something is happening.

Akane doesn't change anything in the way he acts at all. He even worries for her because she acts differently and says non sensical stuff. There is no way he remembers all those timelines here. Or he can have the Oscar for the best actor idk it makes no sense. The only thing where I am not sure is the last one, the only time for me he would finally remembers all of it, is when he is dying. But I still think it's a weak plot point, really random and would go against the idea that he has been looking for her for some times.

(Funny note: Akane is a character who is always shown with half lidded eyes when ''''dying''''compared to the others like Teru. He is dying/losing conciousness, not dead/inconscious, right away.)

I still feel like what Kako did is way different than what Nene is doing with the hourglass. Nene is under the sandglass's influence, Kako uses its power only once to get things right (from his pov), never using it without taking precautions and doing his own investigation before acting.

Nene has a part of the sandglass, the core that wants it so bad to be used by human, but Kako still has the biggest part of its power with all the sand present when Nene enters the Clock.

And Kako, is supposedly working with Akane.

Let's go over Akane's role as a clock keeper.

This is more of a personal preference, but it would be insane to me that Akane has been stuck in the old timeline, in the boundary, alone, not doing anything when he has one of the most ''pro active'" personality of the cast. And especially that all this last arc, was for nothing. This arc already makes me mad that apparently no one will remember, this is just unfair to all others characters.

The idea of memories is important for the Clock Keepers in general. The idea that Nene is here using a hourglass creating different timelines and Kako being able to remember the first timelines/changes don't seem like a big stretch to me. They can't pinpoint exactly where/when Nene is and what she has changed since Akane implies that he has been looking for her for some time, with the 'Finally'.

But they know and remember that she is traveling through Time.

Which still begs the question of: why is Akane here in his clock keeper outfit if he doesn't remember/if he is supposed to be dead since he died in all new timelines? And I will be really honest with you and says that I have no clues which make really sense.

If we go into a more of one of the Meta sense of the Present, Akane may have something like Shijima's power.

A kind of power of Ubiquity power, but accross Timelines. There is the human Akane from the new Timeline, and the one from the boundary.

And the one, stuck in the clock keepers boundary, gain the memories of the others once they are erased, like a safety net so the supernatural part of him can still exist like Kako wants him to. By creating new timelines, it create new Akanes, that shares all memories before the changes were done by Kako but the clock keepers of the present is still out there. And with those memories he can see if something has gone wrong, that multiples bad timelines are being created, which is why, he finally acts now.

The only thing that point to this, is the fact that it's implied that Akane has two bodies. And that we don't really know how it works. But it's pretty clear that these two bodies are separated, they only share the same soul. (and we know that souls can be cut too)

He is way stronger and resistant as a supernatural.

If he kept his injuries, Akane should have died when the severance happened, or at least be not okay but he was. His injury only coming back when he gained his clock keeper form back in chapter 85.

Throughout the manga he is one of the character that has taken a lot of injuries, but only in his clock keeper form, and it never interferes with his human body, not even once.

(disclaimer: it may only be just a choice of Aidairo to absolutely refuse to show consequences btw :)) I will put it here because for all others characters it worked like this too when they went back from the far shore, humans go back to how they were when coming back from a boundary)

It's also shown that his power don't work when he wants to use it, because another Kami is in front of him. But he also supposedly know that it doesn't work outside of the school? And he thought that it would give Nene his autorisation but it broke?

We also know that his watch works outside of school in supernaturals prominent places, like the far shore.

I honestly don't really know how it would work, but I at least really think that Akane from the new timeline and the one in the boundary in chapter 111 have the same memories that's for sure. Is the human Akane able to use travel in time if he doesn't go himself 'free the clock keeper Akane'? I am not really sure how it would work once again.

The Akane in the new timeline is still Akane, like every other characters. I am just not sure about the timelines Nene is going through in the loops though. But I can't explain it more than 'it may be something the sandglass is trying to copy the way her friends are/to give her a sense of false security'. Is it some kind of tests to see how long Nene's soul would break? The sandglass don't even need to really travel back in time, it just needs to break Nene's soul to get her in the sand. But tbh this would be a weird choice too. So I am not sure about this, just that the sandglass definitely doesn't work the same way as Kako's clock.

The last option is, Akane at the end of chapter 126 is the one from chapter 111 (so from the old Timeline) and he absolutely doesn't share memories with Akane from the new Timelines, only Kako told him to go after Nene in the Timeloops. But once again it would kinda strange and really underwhelming from AidaIro, the writing for the characters this arc were... not really good for most of them, Nene being the only expection. I at least want one of the character to remember the Timeline we have been in since 1 year (10/12 chapters) for us readers. And Akane is the one who would make the most sense.

Last insane theory is Akane is the cat and he already tried to travel through time without being allowed to and Kako punished him but I won't expand on this because I don't like it much and would add a layer of 'wtf is happening' to this already really confusing arc.

New insane theory: he has another body that's made like the one of the clock keepers since they can cut souls. (I don't like it but here it is)

The clock keeper of the present can see through the eyes of people using the hourglass (no proof at all for this too jut random ideas)

And for the question: Will Akane pay the price to go back to the old Timeline? I already talked a little bit about it : here

I will be really honest but the only way it could have worked for me is: if it was confirmed that Akane was supposed to die at 12 and that the clock keepers extended his life with the contract, in the condition that they can take it back if needed.

But once again, we have no infos, Akane would have known this and I personally think it would be unfair to do that. To Akane, and to the clock keepers as characters. And for the loop Nene is stuck in, why would Akane pay for this? He isn't Kou or Hanako, Akane is a kind character, still he woudln't do something like this right away as the first solution expect if he had no choice, it's not Akane's place to pay for this. Nene shouldn't either but it would make more sense for her to pay a price to me for her timeloops.

I will end all of this to say that AidaIro's writing has... not been the greatest for me in this last arc. I understand the need to keep a lot of things mysterious, but they often put setups they never use after (*coughs* the key Nene got from Amane from the past *coughs* Akane's weird body thing I absolutely don't understand) and now we have so littles informations that we can create anything we want if we cross random informations.

I don't think it's too bad if people guess stuff from time to time, if it means the writing is less blurry. Being able to do theories is cool, but like the broadcasting club I just think it makes everything way more underwheling. Right now, absolutely everything could happen, and we could only nod. Because we have absolutely no informations, on Akane's contract, on how time travels really work in tbhk, wtf is going on with Amane and the big clock, how boundaries and the fare shore really work, why tf is Tsuchigomori a supernatural that can appear to human and not some of the others, why Nene is so special and what is the limits of her ''powers'' etc... They refuse to acknowledges some of the early rules they put, and absolutely don't make the characters deal with consequences. I really hope I will be proven wrong this time and to note that this is my opinion btw, but it's been a long time I've had this feeling with the writing and it's even worst with this arc.

I am glad Nene was proven wrong in this chapter (and it ties to something I talk about here more in details with Kou's character too), mostly because it's good to see something that has been implied since some times.

Nene is a good person, a really nice person, but play with the rules when they have been said explicitly, and see how they answer you.

Supernaturals are bound by rules and I truly think humans characters will be the ones who help them all in the end like it has been happening in the manga, even if humans are also the causes of a lot of their sufferings.

I think a human, will be the one to break the curse and the timeline from the clock keepers who are too stuck on their own rules, because it's still not fair. Nene is absolutely right on this and we understand why she took this risk. But I am still glad Nene was proven wrong this time. You can't expect to play with something as powerful as Time and think you will be okay after it.

They were against Death and Life in the last arc, trying to play by the rules and go out of it without consequences. Now they are against something more powerful than Death, something that can controls everything and suposedly exists everywhere, Time.

And the last thing they will probably be against, with the 7th mystery, will be something even more powerful than that.

Something probably close to Omnipotence, Creation and Destruction. Something that doesn't exist by the rules.

Little detail:

It's important to note that the Future still hasn't woken up yet contrary to the Past, since the Present isn't fixed/isn't here :)))

I can't wait to see if she will have a bigger role now, I am excited for her to appear at least. I also don't think Kako said the full truth and we will have the rest of their backstories a little bit later.

[vegan-peppermint]

In which Toby is kidnapping the reader.

Toby never wanted to hurt you. He's just young and stupid, too eager to prove to those creatures lurking in the shadows that he is cut from the same cloth as them.

It's been no more than two years since the fire swallowed his life whole, since the faceless figure first started treading on the edges of his mind. Every day spent in that eerie house, under the watchful eyes of his so-called "mentors," pushed him further from the boy he used to be. Tim's unbearable presence didn’t help—Toby had even toyed with the idea of doubling down on his pyromaniac tendencies.

Then The Operator spoke his name—his name alone. It wasn’t just a command in Toby's mind, more like a one-way ticket out of being a second-class proxy, lesser than the other two. This was his first solo mission, a validation of all the time and effort he'd poured into this twisted world. A reward.

You.

He at least had the courtesy to stalk you first. He tracked your habbits down, watching your work from across the street or joining you on your bus ride home on particularly uneventful evenings. He has been creeping closer, gliding from shadow to light and back into the dark- just like Hoodie had thought him.

Toby never wanted to scare you, that's why the first thing he did after parking the car in front you your house was going to the convenience store down the street. He'd seen you buy this particular brand of chocolate many times before. He hoped once he handed it to you it would bring an once of comfort amidst the circumstances.

The fact your hands are tied behind your back and your mouth stuffed didn't cross his mind then.

You were nothing like the others, he observed. You didn't scream or cry- hell, didn't even bite. He wanted to be grateful for such an easy capture, but -for fucks sake- you stared. Stared with gloomy, empty eyes past him into some far-off, unreadable place. Shaking his head in frustration, he muttered to himself dissaponted he ended up with the creepy chick, before slamming the the trunk door down, leaving you blind in the cramped space.

The drive to the mansion was uneventul for Toby, giving him plenty of time to let his mind wander. He hadn’t asked why you were wanted or what his boss planned for you—it didn’t matter to him then. But he couldn't help notice how you were rather easy on the eye. Maybe it was the isolation, the pent-up frustration and loneliness but a thought crossed his mind; what harm could it do if Slender let him borrow you for a little while? He chuckled darkly at his own thoughts, already imagining your surprise when, after a few days surviving on scraps in the manor’s cellar, he'd hand over the chocolate he’d picked up. You’d probably think he was your savior, fall right to his feet.

And if you would still be devoid of any reaction, he'd fuck your face into a pretty nice expression.

The old Mazda pulled into the driveway, its engine puffing and huffing, similar the old man Toby had swiped it from. Tim and Brian were already outside, blowing smoke and ash into the brittle winter air, their jackets hanging loose against the chill. The car's strained chug faltered as it rolled to a stop, steam curling from under the hood. Without waiting for Toby to fully park, Tim burried his cigarette into the frozen ground with the heel of his boot, his sharp gaze fixed on the boy as if he didnt expect him to ever return. Brian exhaled a plume of smoke, letting it drift lazily into the night.

"Back already, Tics?" Tim snarled, looking back to his friend. "What you say, Brian- think he's got her?"

The hooded man didnt respond but stepped closer with hesitation.

"Obviously I g-got her, got her," he smirked proudly getting out the driver's seat. "Hardly a challenge, really" he added, tilting his head back so high he might've been mistaken for a certain snouted animal.

"I gotta admit, that's a pretty impressive first job," Tim said, clapping Toby on the back as they approached the trunk. Brian hummed in agreement but kept a few cautious steps behind.

"What d-does Slender even want-t with some goth bitch?" Toby asked, gripping the key with newfound confidence and turning it smoothly in the rusty trunk lock. The red, corroded door creaked open with a deafening shriek, the sound swallowed immediately by an even louder silence.

So heavy was the quiet, Brian was certain he heard Tim's grin vanish, and he Toby's posture shrink. The trunk was empty.

A collared dove cooed mockingly as it flapped past their heads.

"A witch, Toby," Tim finally exhaled. "She's a witch."

"Yep, a witch, thats exactly what I was gonna say..."

[aboutcustardcreams]

The Weight of Silence

Summary: You and Rio have a chat, then strike a sort of deal, deciding to keep Agatha out of it... for now.

a/n: I know, I know, it's been way too long, and I'm really sorry. Life got in the way—first busy, then sick, then busy again. But here I am, still alive, and I truly hope there’s still someone out there who’s interested in this story o3o

previous chapter

You thought that was the right moment. Rio sat beside you, watching Agatha tuck in her son. Your eyes flickered from that scene to the woman by your side. A soft smile tugging at your lips as you reached out a hand toward her, your fingers lightly brushing on top of hers. Rio had felt your eyes on her, before you touched her. She knew you were thinking– she presumed you were waiting for her to say something, anything. 

A wave of fondness darkened her cheeks when she was met with your loving gaze. “You okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded your head slowly, the smile still on your face, though tight, a bit forced, but not untrue. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" 

"Of course." She replied in a breath. 

Rio eyed Agatha. She assumed you would want her to join you two, but when you gave her hand a squeeze, she realized that wasn’t your idea at all. Her brows furrowed at the light shake of your head. 

“Just you and me,” your voice trailed off. “If you don’t mind.”

A soft, surprised ‘oh’ slipped past Rio’s lips. “S-sure, that’s fine by me.” 

Rio swallowed thickly, as she watched you stand up. “Good.”

She nodded once more before rising to her feet. There was nothing wrong with having a word alone with you… was there? To be completely honest, the idea terrified her, she feared the pull of the Fates would be even stronger.

“Let’s go that way…”

Before moving away from the fire, you caught Agatha’s gaze from where she lay on her side next to Nicky, just a few feet away. You smiled at her, while she only frowned. Knowing her, she was probably wondering where you two were sneaking off to.  Nicky flashed you a quick glance, his eyes bleary and endearingly adorable. It was only a matter of time before he drifted off. You wiggled your fingers in a small wave and mouthed, ‘be right back’, to which he responded with a sleepy smile. 

Had it not been for Nicky curling up tightly against Agatha’s side, you knew she would have gotten up and followed you.  

She cast a glance at Rio. The Green Witch caught the plea in those blue orbs, even without a word being spoken on her part. Rio felt as if Agatha feared she would do something to you, something bad, something that would break her apart, and the worst thing was that she was right, because eventually... But not now, not yet. She offered her a quick smile before following you into the forest.

“What did you want to talk about?” Rio asked as you stopped and leaned against a tree.

You tilted your head and looked at her. Really looked at her. You didn’t answer immediately, too distracted by the storm of emotions she stirred inside your chest. You had missed looking at her like that. Admiring her. Your other wife. “It’s so nice to see you again, you know? Be together again. It reminds me of the old days–”

Rio looked down for a moment and smiled, a brief, hesitant smile, the tip of her shoe digging into the soil underneath her. Among the three, you were the sentimental one, that one person that with words could turn her world, their world, upside down just like that. "You say that now. But soon, you and Agatha will find another reason to hate me.” 

You shook your head at her words, then stepped closer. Her words made an odd pang rise in your chest. Was that really what she thought — that you and Agatha had harbored hatred for her? Fair enough, because for a little while, you did. At least you thought you did. But that was a lie. A complete fabrication of your mind. 

“No. No, it’s not like that.” You reached for her hand, intertwining your fingers with hers. She exhaled a shaky breath, clearly unconvinced, because she still remembered the way you had pushed her away the night she took Nicky. The same night she swore she wouldn’t.

It had been her fault, really. She had lied, and you and Agatha had seen through it before she could even make it true. So what else could you have done, if not hate her for it?

“I’m sorry, okay?” Your voice softened. “I should never have held any resentment toward you. It was just… hard to accept, especially when you said I couldn’t bring him back, that I wasn’t allowed–”, you lightly shook your head and inhaled softly. It didn’t matter anymore. Why? Because you still did it. You did it and succeeded. “I acted like a bitch to you, and I regret it. I will regret it every day.” 

Rio’s eyes softened, a light smile spread across her lips. She never once thought you acted like a bitch, never once blamed you for your feelings. “Silly, silly woman–” a scoff slipped past her lips as her hands found your shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “You did what any mother would do. You fought for your child.” 

Arching an eyebrow, you gently corrected her and said, ���our child.”

She let out a low chuckle at that. “Yeah, yeah I know that.” 

“Answer me on this, okay?” you murmured, feeling your heart pound wildly in your chest as you leaned closer, so close you felt her breathing crashing against your face. Soothing. Inebriating. You inhaled as she hummed, encouraging you to ask your question.

“Nicky is safe, right? He’s not in any danger anymore.” Despite being rather confident about it already, your voice came out quite shy and insecure. 

Rio swallowed hard, licking her lips before answering. “Yes. You saved him, mi amor. And you did not do just that — you gave him magic.” Her eyes brimmed when she said that. “I felt it when I stood close to him earlier. You gave him a piece of you, didn’t you?”

You nodded your head, with a smile. A more relieved one. "Yeah. It will take a while to fully manifest, but it will." you admitted quietly. “I wanted to give him the best chance in life, and I thought by giving him magic– which has always been his right to possess, I– well, I think I did it, didn’t I?”

It genuinely was all that mattered to you. That he could live a normal life, like any other boy his age. Grow up, fall in love, have a future. Be a witch. 

“Of course, you did it,” her hands cupped your cheeks, the moment she noticed the sudden vulnerability in your eyes. As if you were afraid of the way she would react once she found out about it. “You did good, I promise. You did incredible,” she cooed, her voice was warm, unwavering despite the clear emotion filling it. Her throat tightened at her next words. “You will need to teach him how to master his silver.” 

She mentally cursed herself because what the heck? The moment his magic emerged, the Furies would already have you. That was the truth. 

“Yeah–” you nodded your head, without much enthusiasm. You weren’t stupid, not really. You could read those you loved pretty well, and those included also a certain ancient cosmic entity such as Lady Death. She had no secrets to you. Not really. Not for long anyway. “You’re a great teacher, too. Both you and Agatha.” A pause. “You know,” your voice trailed off, “just in case.”

The crease between Rio’s brows deepened. “I– listen, I need to tell you something–”

You shook your head gently, your hands gripping around her wrists as her fingers lingered on your face, and brushed over your cheekbones. “I know,” you said. You really didn’t, no– but it wasn’t hard to figure that your actions had consequences. And those consequences were just waiting to be paid. 

“I don’t understand,” she stuttered, clearly taken aback. “What do you know?”

You grimaced, waving your hands in front of her, as if trying to shape your words into something she’d understand. “Whatever you have to do. Whatever you said was going to happen to me if I saved Nicky– do it. It’s okay. I accept it.” 

If Agatha could hear you now, she’d probably slap you in the face, or worse. “Just please… don’t leave Agatha and Nicky if something happens to me.” You said ‘if’ though you meant ‘when’. “But pinch them in the side if they grieve for me too long–” the smile that tugged at your lips was in stark contrast with the sadness in your eyes.

Rio’s thumb brushed over your bottom lip, as her eyes flickered from that juicy spot to your eyes. With a slight shake of her head, her voice came out both firm and urgent. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen to you, but you’re not going to die. I’m not taking you,” she let out a tired sigh, as she took into your confused, adorable expression. “I have no interest in taking you–“ a pause, a small grimace, partially amused. “I mean not like that.” 

An incredulous chuckle bubbled out of you. “Oh- You’re not?” You asked, eyes widening a bit. 

She sighed again. “No, I am not,” she repeated, hoping it would stick to that stubborn head of yours. If ripping out her own heart, right here and now, could spare you from the punishment you were destined to endure, Rio wouldn’t hesitate. Could Death die? Probably not. Surely not. Immortality really sucked sometimes. Many didn’t know– didn’t even presume she had a heart that beat. But Death did have one. The only difference among hers and others was that her heart carried the pain of all living forms, plus hers. That’s why it was so heavy sometimes (most of the time). 

Your brows furrowed, when a tear slipped from Rio’s thick lashes, making you wonder what was troubling her so much. “And yet– you’re crying. Why?” you asked, wiping at her tears with your fingers. The more you touched her face, the more your gaze lingered, the more Rio felt like crumbling. Cosmic entity, her ass. 

She let out a weak, humorless laugh. "You're so damn clever, aren’t you? Brave, intelligent, annoying—” 

“Uhm, thank you?” you half-joked, though your voice wavered, your own eyes stinging with unshed tears. If Rio was crying it meant that you were still doomed and even if it wasn’t death, it didn’t mean it was any less concerning. 

But it was okay. You were ready. And you wanted her to understand that. 

“I’m sorry- Didn’t mean the last part,” she shook her head, and inhaled shakily. You mouthed ‘it’s okay’, voice soothing and reassuring. “I just– I wish I could do more. I wish I could stop this,” she waved her fingers, without addressing the issue with words, simply because she couldn’t find the strength to do so. You saw the struggle in her eyes, the panic rising. “You don’t deserve any of this, you hear me?” Her voice wavered, but her conviction didn’t. “Don’t you ever let yourself believe, even for a second, that you do–”

You started playing with the tips of her hair, winding the strands between your fingers, in a way you hoped it would soothe her. You had accepted your fate, whatever that was, so why couldn’t she?

“How much time do I have left?”

Rio paled and flinched as if struck by an invisible blow. “I… I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice so fragile, so painfully honest, that it sent a chill down your spine. 

You pulled away, with a nod, then averted your gaze. The best you could do would be make the most of the time you had left with your family. Make memories. 

Rio said you wouldn’t die, which meant you’d have to endure something else entirely. And a part of you thought that meant being separated from your family. You couldn’t think of anything worse than that. 

“I fear what the Fates will do if I let too much time pass.” Your eyes locked with hers, when she spoke. She was doing it again, breaking the rules for the sake of her family. Rio was giving you time, just as she had given it to Nicky. Your heart couldn’t be fuller. “So I say about a month, before—”

You lifted a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell me. Please…” To know what awaited you wouldn’t make it any easier, so why suffer in advance?

She wasn’t convinced it was a good idea, but nodded anyway. It was your decision after all. She folded her arms over her chest. “If you’re sure…” 

“I am,” you insisted, voice light. “All I needed to know was that I will not die. The rest— whatever it is — I’m sure I can take it.”

“The punishment is meant to last three years,” Rio added nervously. 

You gave her a curt nod and clasped your hands. “Okay. Good, I guess. Magnanimous of them,” you added, light sarcasm filling your tone. 

Rio rolled her eyes, with a scoff. “I wouldn’t use that word to describe the Fates,” there was a slight smirk on her face that eased the weight on your shoulders, even if just a bit. 

But gods– Rio resented them and she would have for the rest of her… eternal life. “This punishment— it is serious, I won’t lie about that, but not impossible to bear, especially for someone like you.” She admitted. 

You gave her a sincere, appreciative smile in return. “Oh I know that. I’m a second class kind of green witch after all, am I not?” You joked. 

Rio groaned at your antics. Of course, you remembered her calling you that. Of course, you’d use it against her now. Her gaze softened, the moment the sound of your laughter mingled with her brief, low chuckle. “You know I never believed that, don’t you? You’re much more than that.” 

You pursed your lips, waving at her. “Now you’re talking as if I’m gonna die tomorrow, so you want to make amends with me,” you huffed. 

Death frowned, “That’s not true! I was just being sure you knew how I really felt.” 

“I already do. I always did.” Your voice lowered a bit on the next part. “Don’t treat me differently from now on just because of…you know…”

“I wasn’t doing that,” Rio shifted, noticing your suddenly vulnerable demeanor. “I’ll still make your life a living hell, mi amor.”

When you chuckled, Rio’s heart soared. You knew there really was no bite to it. “Two can play this game, you know that,” you playfully nudged at her. 

The other witch rolled her eyes, with a hum. “That’s all I ever want,” she whispered, tone gentler, “a fair competition.”

You nodded, then looked away for a moment. Pursed your lips, deep in thought once again, before speaking. 

“Let’s keep this between us. I don’t want Agatha to know about any of this — even less our son.”

She frowned, taking a step forward. Her fingers ran through your hair, as she asked, “are you sure you’re willing to lie to her?”

You were quick to reply. “It’s not a lie,” you pointed out. “Look, we will tell her, just not now. Agatha needs to relax and be present for Nicky. The worst is over but that doesn’t mean our son doesn’t need protection anymore. He’s just a kid, and soon enough his magic will manifest. He needs his mom.” 

He needs you too, Rio wanted to scream, but held back. 

“Plus we do have a full month together, don’t we? I won’t waste it by being sad or preoccupied with what’s to come and neither should she.” 

“You don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” Rio muttered, not believing for a second you were okay with that.  

“Pretend, what?”

A sigh. “To be okay.”

“But I am okay.” You insisted. 

“Amooooor–” 

You chuckled at her whiny tone. “I mean it, Rio. I am.” You knew she needed to hear those words more than you needed them to be true. “Sure, I would do without this punishment, mind, but I’m okay. You said it yourself, I can handle it.” 

Rio wanted to burst into tears, but she held back. She was supposed to be of support for you, and yet you were the one giving it to her. “Don’t you ever change, amor,” Rio pulled you closer to press a lingering kiss on the crown of your head. “I like you just the way you are,” she whispered against your hair, voice filled with emotion. 

“Only like?” You asked, teasingly, nuzzling against her neck. 

Lady Death pulled away and laughed softly. “Course not,” she pointed out. “I love you.” 

Your cheeks reddened right away, and your eyes softened. It still felt like the first time you heard those words. “I love you too.” 

She playfully wiggled her fingers against your cheek. A soft giggle escaped you before you could stop it, the ticklish sensation made your head loll to the side. Grinning, she leaned in closer, her lips hovered just inches from yours, as she took in your magic eyes— eyes that she could never get enough of. “You look so much like Nicky when you’re all squirmy,” she murmured, delighted. 

“Shut up,” you huffed, though amused.  

She arched an eyebrow, “make me–” 

“You’re just so desperate to kiss me, admit it.” You teased. 

Her tongue peeked out from her mouth, as she grinned. “Is it so obvious?” 

“A little,” you admitted. “You can do it, you know– Instead of acting all innocent.” 

She let out a low dark chuckle at that. “Ah, but I do love to be courteous, mi amor.”

You groaned playfully then pulled her in, your hands around her neck, hers around your waist. When your lips crashed against hers, Rio responded to the kiss with a ‘mmph’, fingers tenderly brushing the skin around your hips. Your eyes fluttered close and your whole body tingled. 

When you pulled back, because contrary to her, you needed to breathe, her eyes were darker.  

“Oh, how I’ve missed this,” Rio whispered to you. 

You swept your tongue over your bottom lip, to have a second taste of her. “We should go back to Agatha.” 

“Yes, we should,” she replied, though she didn’t exactly take the initiative. 

“You’re not moving,” you pointed out. 

She laughed richly. “Neither are you,” she added, and you whined. Not a childish whine, mind. It sounded more like a needy, hot… utterly irresistible kind of whine. Rio’ grew a mischievous smirk as she captured your lips for another kiss. You whimpered, the moment the Green Witch wrapped her teeth around your bottom lip, sucking on it, before pulling, ever so gently, and let it go with a pop. 

“Rio…”

She huffed out a chuckle at your tone. 

“So this is what you two went off to do, huh?” It was Agatha. Her voice, sharp, a bit judgmental, caused you and Rio to snap your heads in her direction. “And I thought we needed to have a talk first. How silly of me to presume we had unfinished business–” 

“Aggie,” you tried, raking your fingers through your hair as to shake you out of this sudden arousal. You stepped closer to her. “We did talk and everything’s fine. It really is. We can move on–” 

It didn’t come as easy as you thought to look into her eyes and lie to her face. But you meant it when you said you wanted to keep it a secret for a while. Your entire family needed some peace and  quiet. Some normality.  

Agatha frowned, as her gaze flickered from you and Rio alternatively. As a mother, she worried. As a wife, she worried. Agatha Harkness simply worried and you couldn’t help it, or could you now? “Is it really?” 

“...Yeah,” Rio sighed. Her heart ached for her, but she had to respect your wishes. 

“Can we just– make a fresh start? Us three, and Nicky? I know you want it, too.” 

“You want my approval so you can go back kissing Rio like a starving wolf?” 

Rio laughed softly, and you snorted. “She’s our wife, Ags.” 

“Not for seven years, she wasn’t,” she huffed, and just like that, Rio’s laughter faded. Your stomach clenched. 

“She’s here to change that,” you insisted. Gods, it was getting harder to keep your tears at bay. Because you needed Agatha to believe that. You needed her to trust you and Rio, to be willing to move forward, to choose joy instead of resentment. To choose life for a goddamn time.  “Give her a chance like I did, please– We both know she deserves it.”

Rio moved so slowly, Agatha didn’t even realize she did. She felt her fingers curl around hers, and clenched her eyes shut with a sigh.  Agatha didn’t pull away, and that was something, a sign, a silent welcoming. 

“Please, Agatha. Let me in–” she croaked. 

The purple witch shivered, the moment you too took her hand in yours. “Please, Aggie.” Both of you looked at her with insistent, pleading, stunning eyes. 

“Is Nicky safe?” she asked, and Rio nodded right away. 

You nibbled the inside of your cheek, wishing, praying even she wouldn’t ask further questions. 

“Is she?” She eyed you, concern filling her eyes. 

You knew it wasn’t right to lie to her. But what other choice did you have?

Rio bit down her bottom lip, while nodding. “Yes, my love. She, too,” she said with a small smile. 

Agatha studied the two of you for another moment, mulling over her words and yours. As if to make sure she wasn't missing anything. You wouldn’t lie to her face like that, would you? 

“Okay,” she finally gave in. Rio should have felt relieved, yet all she felt was her stomach twist violently. 

You weren’t doing much better but you’d make up for her. You’d create unforgettable memories, making sure they spent the best month of their lives. 

You pressed closer and tugged at her clothes. “Thank you, Ags.” 

She hummed, bent down only slightly to peck your forehead. “Don’t thank me yet. I can still change my mind.” You knew she didn’t mean that, so you chuckled. 

Rio joined too. Agatha exhaled softly, stroked your hair tenderly, before eyeing her other wife. With a slow, deliberate motion, she beckoned Rio closer. For a moment, the Green Watch thought she would tell her something like ‘I watch you’ or ‘I don’t trust you yet’ or ‘Another misstep and I kill you’, instead she said, “It’s good to have you back,” she whispered, cupping Rio’s cheek lightly. 

Gods– this was going to be much harder than she thought. 

A short whimper tumbled from Rio’s lips. “It’s good to be back,” she echoed, with a glimmer in her eyes.

[kiwi-backup]

[pining, returned affection, mdni, penetration, cum kink?, mentions of belly bulge, boyfriend Choso]

[wc: 2k]

[Continuation of this post]

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

With anything unrelated to his brothers, Choso was mostly unbothered. Half the time, he didn’t know what he was doing or what he was supposed to be doing.

He only knew his younger brother Yuji was doing his best to acclimate him to normal human society.

He also knew that Yuji was his direct line to you.

The incredibly talented jujutsu sorcerer he introduced him to that one day. The day that altered his perception of everything.

That was the first time he had been bothered in a different way. A good way.

At least, he eventually came to realize it was good.

At first, his heart was beating so fast in his chest that it started to worry him. He wasn't sure what was happening, or why he was finding it hard to breathe just from looking at you. Just from receiving a warm smile from your lips.

Of course, Choso could feel human emotions. He typically felt only a slim few, and all had to do with his brothers. Otherwise, he was apathetic. Uncaring. He was a tool to be used, and a shield for his brothers.

But you? You made him feel everything at once in the most agonizing way. You seemed to offer him the complete human experience by uttering only a few pleasant words of greeting.

Afterward, Yuji gave Choso a similar shpiel to Fushiguro's—don't bother. She may be incredibly friendly and kind, but you'll never have her.

Choso never let those words sink into his skin. He was too stunned to even understand what was happening to him.

But after that day, his heart burned in a way it never had before. He just wanted to see you again. To hear you speak, even if he was too anxious to say anything back. He needed to be near you, and that urge became so strong, he found himself jumping at the chance to join Yuji and his friends whenever they went somewhere fun, all for the chance that you might be there.

Luckily, you typically were if you had the spare time. And god, Choso was getting more sick every time he saw you. At least, that was how it felt.

Boba shops, cafes, cinemas, carnivals, and everything in between, if you were there, so was he. If you were smiling and laughing, so was he.

Choso didn't know the first thing about love, and there was something about it that scared him.

But when your flirtations became more physical—the brush of your arm against his, linking together arm-in-arm to whisk him somewhere interesting, or when your fingers would just barely touch—Choso could feel himself crumbling.

That heart of his, once only warm for his brothers, was beginning to beat at a different rhythm. It was syncing up with yours, whether he knew it or not.

When it became too much, that was when he approached Yuji.

He did his best to hide how much his hands were trembling even while he spoke to his brother about you, and his throat felt impossibly dry.

"Hey...um, Yuji?"

Yuji hardly looked up from the movie he was fixated on. "Yeah?"

Choso swallowed back his apprehension, aware that he had no experience of his own, but his younger brother grew up with humans and their strange emotions. Surely he would understand.

"What does it mean when your heart beats strangely around someone, or if you get nervous around them?"

Yuji shrugged. "Usually that means you like them."

Choso furrowed his brows together. "Like them?"

"Mhm. You can like someone in a friendly way and be normal around them, but if you're not, then that means you like like them. You know?" Yuji explained, still watching the tv. "If you really like them, then you probably want to be near that person, or hold them or something."

Choso kind of understood what this like like was, but he didn't understand why it hurt. Why it burned and ached.

But he did know that feeling existed inside of him for you.

"I think I like y/n then."

Yuji went quiet for a moment, then he mumbled, "Are you sure?"

Choso scratched the back of his neck, feeling as warmth moved into his face. "I enjoy being around her, and as you said, I'd like to be near her more. I wouldn't mind holding her too. What should I do?"

He assumed Yuji was only considering the options, not completely breaking on the inside. He had no idea his younger brother was actively pushing back the urge to explode on him.

"...you should ask her how she feels..." Yuji began, forcing the words out. "And if you're serious, ask her out on a date."

Unaware of the nuances of these kinds of things, Choso came out with it one day when he couldn't handle it anymore. When you smiled that smile at him and reduced him to a sappy version of himself he was unfamiliar with.

"How do you feel?" He questioned, walking alongside you on an aimless stroll around campus. His heart was in his throat, and he felt like screaming from how nervous he was.

You let out a humored sound. "I feel okay, I guess? Thanks for asking, Cho."

Cho. That nickname you gave him always made his head go woozy.

So much so that he almost didn't realize you misunderstood his question.

"Er...I mean...maybe I remembered it wrong," he murmured to himself, trying to recall Yuji's advice. His skin was growing hotter as he tried to get it right in his head.

"You all right?" You asked, growing concerned as you took in his fluster.

Not walking anymore, and face to face, Choso found himself desperate for the right thing to say. He tried to wrack his brain, aware that he might not have that chance again.

Ask her out on a date.

Those words hit him, and Choso brightened with a sheepish smile.

"Would you like to go somewhere with me...on a date?"

Your smile eased the burning fear he had in his chest. "Sure, I'd love to. I'm free right now if you already have a place in mind."

Your acceptance was the first sign of hope he needed, and to his relief, the date went better than he expected. After that, multiple other one-on-one outings happened, and before long, Choso found himself uttering the words he never expected to leave his lips.

"I love you..." Choso heaved, gripping your hips as he bucked into you, watching as his cock slipped inside of you again and again. He watched how your arousal made a cute ring around him, and how you seemed to take him so well. So eagerly. "I-I love you...I love you..."

It left his mouth like a chant as he rammed into your soaked pussy, in lustful agony over how perfectly you squelched for him.

As much as you wanted to say it back, you were too far gone already. He made you cum twice already, and he was desperately chasing after another.

But he didn't mind how you couldn't say it. You were already fucked dumb by him, and he knew the way you clenched around his length said it all.

From in his lap while you gripped the couch with one hand and held yourself up with the other against his chest, skin already slick with sweat and warm to the touch, you looked ethereal to him. Head tipping back with a slack jaw, body angled so that he had a perfect view of your tits, the sight of you alone was enough to have him bordering his next orgasm.

"Fuck—" Choso groaned, gripping harder and relentlessly sending his throbbing cock back into you, hypnotized by your velvety walls. "You're perfect...fucking perfect..."

Your moans sent shivers right through him as he squeezed you tight, unable to choke back his whimpers and gasps for breath.

Choso was normally so well composed and visibly unaffected by most things, but every time he found himself inside you, he became insatiable. Whiny and stumbling over his words. You just felt so impossibly good around him, sucking him in and embracing his cock with pure love and adoration.

He knew you had him in a vulnerable position. He knew you had far too much power over him, but he didn't care.

Choso knew what it felt like to fuck you raw, and it was impossible for him to be without it.

"...C-Cho..." you barely managed to say, trying to hold on through his relentless thrusts. It was hard to believe you had been the one riding him initially. You had been the one fucking him until he couldn't take it anymore, and he needed to let that unwavering desperation out.

Fuck, you were too much. Too compliant with his movements. Too whimpery. Too fucking perfect.

"Jus' hold on, baby," Choso mumbled gruffly, using everything he had left to push you closer to the edge. "One more...please. Give me one more—"

He nearly choked at the feeling of your plush walls clenching around him, milking him for everything he had. Heaving in his frantic breaths, he dropped a thumb to trace messy circles against your clit.

"I'm s' full already..." you babbled, eyes closed as more pleasure swept through you while his thick girth stretched you so completely.

"I-I know," he stuttered, pulling you down to force his cock against your cervix, ramming again and again as he admired the slight bulge in your belly from him. "Jus' one more. Fuck, baby. I need to fill you again—need you to take it like a good girl..."

The mix of skin slapping and your broken moans filled the room, emphasized by the mess already between your bodies.

His cum was everywhere already, but god, Choso loved it. He loved how it glistened against your skin and how it sounded when he shoved his cock back into you, bringing it along for the ride.

It was a reminder of how much you affected him. How your perfect pussy could make him cum over and over again, and he'd still be aimlessly begging for another.

Watching your eyes roll back as your whole body convulsed through your next orgasm was always enough to make him crack. Watching the woman he loved reach that state of euphoria all because of him was all he needed to slam his hips into yours one last time as he struggled to breathe, gripping and clutching you for dear life.

Like the perfect woman you were, you'd take another bout of his cum. Still just as abundant and enthusiastic, he'd shoot his thick ropes inside you, only adding to the mess of sticky fluid between you.

Choso's head always lulled back whenever he came, so drunk off how incredible it all was to be edging blackout territory.

Full of his cum and too exhausted to keep yourself up, you slumped against him while you both caught your breath. Instinctually, Choso wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close so that he didn't have to miss a second without you.

"T-thank you, baby," Choso whispered, mustering just enough energy to run a lazy hand up and down your back.

He didn't know when it started, but it was an endearing thing he tended to do whenever you entertained his belligerent deviancy. Whenever he'd fuck you way past the point of overstimulation, and yet, you'd still let him fill you with another load.

In every way, you were perfect. Far too perfect for him.

But still, all the while he tried to bring himself back down again, he silently thanked his brother for introducing you two. For bringing the love of his life to him, and making it all possible.

[atxxzist]

sweetest lies | c.s (03)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x f!reader

word count: 7.7k

warning: none but lmk

you didn't want to go home because you knew that you'd have to face your sister.

look her in the eyes and see those very lips that yunho kissed and those hands that he probably held on more than one occasions, the wound still too fresh that it all still hurts.

but you didn't think you'd run smack into her before you could even pass the entrance, stopping in your steps immediately with surprised eyes similar to hers, the both of you swallowing down the same time as the air turn an awkward one.

you're about to just walk past her, the day from work leaving you tired and not in the mood for another long conversation about the topic, when your sister musters up the courage to let out a soft, "can we please talk?"

the tone aggravating you more than anything; how she can still sound so sweet and worried after what she's put you through.

you huff and merely roll your eyes, absolutely refusing to look at her although you know it's silly and petty--you being the older one but holding a grudge like no other, so much more less mature than her.

"i don't know what else is there to talk about," you respond, trying your very best to sound annoyed.

but she continues to make you feel worse with an even sweeter tone, "i'm sorry. i really am." and you can already picture the pearls in her eyes and pout on her lips despite still facing the other way.

"i know you like yunho. i do. but..." he's too handsome and charming; too sweet and kind that she also can't help but fall for him. she would never intend to steal him from you if he didn't return the sentiment.

"but he likes you too," you finish for her, something shifting in you that makes you finally look her in the eyes. "i get it. what am i gonna do? you're two grown consenting adults so i'll get over it."

you didn't even think such words could ever come out your mouth, but for the first time sounding surprisingly selfless because maybe talking to san did helped out a little.

there's a silence after that you're sure has marked the end of the topic, striving a step forward when her voice stops you again.

"we're planning on telling mom and dad and yunho's parents over dinner..." she says, delivery timid like she's just the slightest scared of your reaction.

you gulp down the knot, mumbling a dry, "good luck with that." and sliding past her.

you start seeing how truly mundane your life is once the person it used to revolve around is no longer there.

how, it’s a continuous cycle of work and coming home to a big empty house most days and watching reruns of shows until you’re bored out of your mind.

which is how you wind up at a co-worker’s house party, the young woman from the office next to you going by the name of dahyun kindly asking after a conversation with your boss about the paperworks regarding the transfer.

she joined the firm a few months after you but you’ve always known her to be outgoing and a people’s person, recalling the girl’s familiarity with everyone from the floor her second week of work.

it wasn’t like you had anything better to do, so you accepted the invitation and saved the following day for a night of fun, or at least you hoped so.

dahyun had said it’s just gonna be a regular house party; none of that crazy frat bullshit with the chance of someone under 20 attending, so it’s just gonna be chill and relaxing.

fives minutes into your arrival and it’s not too bad but you already find yourself hiding in a corner despite recognizing a few faces from the same working floor.

“if you’re gonna be here, you should at least try and have some fun.”

the familiar sounding voice from behind makes you quirk a brow, barely looking over your shoulder to see, probably the least expected person standing with amusement in his expression.

“seonghwa?” you say in disbelief, your body naturally following your curiosity to stand before him. “the fuck you doing here?”

“attending the party, isn’t that obvious?” he quips, continuing to close the gap before stopping with just enough space.

you scoff and roll your eyes, the sight bringing a smirk onto seonghwa’s lips.

“shut up. you know what i mean.”

“dahyun’s a friend,” he says casually, the answer making you squint.

“seriously? hongjoong and now you?” the complaint rolling off like it’s seonghwa’s fault. you can only cross your arms and sulk.

you can’t even recall the last time you actually saw seonghwa. it must’ve been your graduation or one last coincidental meeting… you don’t remember. it’s been that long.

“yeah, cause you have better things to do?” he pokes fun at the very obvious fact you came alone. “where’s that jeong boy? you know, the one that always got you on a leash.”

between hongjoong and seonghwa, seonghwa’s always been the more calm and level-headed of the two; being the voice of reason when you and hongjoong would lose it.

but on the occasion when he’d just let it go and be snarky, seonghwa could really pull a nerve.

“is that all people associate me with?” you have the audacity to click your tongue in annoyance and scoff like you didn’t do it to yourself.

seonghwa snickers.

“oh i’m sorry. it was just my most recent memory of you,” he says cheekily. voice calm but you know there’s hidden animosity underneath.

he never explicitly said whose side he took, but it was obvious from how he treated you the same as hongjoong did. it only made sense because they’ve known each other before you even came along.

you never fault him, knowing it mostly had to do with your own fuck-ups.

“hmm,” you hum, tone setting into the same sarcastic and dry one he has. “well, it’s nice catching up and all but i don't feel like reminiscing the past, so if you’ll excuse me.”

because you can admit your wrongdoings and also be both embarrassed about it, attempting to brush past him when his speaking voice stops you in track.

“hey, i was just trying to find something to talk about after all these years,” he says, half chuckling and staring at you from the opposite side now that you’ve managed to make it past him.

you snicker lowly.

“what?” you quirk a corner of your lips, continuing with amusement in your voice, “then you’re gonna say sorry? or expect me to?”

he shrugs.

"that's your choice."

but his body language now shifting, that playful look no longer in his eyes or tone, it's almost scary how fast it happened.

the next few seconds is a silent stare off, the only sound is the party music in the background and the slight beating of your heart at the ominous delivery.

"i'm not asking for an apology or whatever. frankly, it wasn't even my problem, but i'm just saying... your life would be a lot easier if you know how to say sorry for once."

seonghwa thinks you have too much pride; the same thing you believe to be keeping you intact is gonna be your ultimate downfall because even when you're clearly wrong or you know you're wrong, you never say it.

you're one to keep it bubbled inside and carry the guilt just because you think you should be unbreakable at all times. it's such an unrealistic standard you've set for yourself.

you raise a brow at that, tilting your head in confusion.

"i know how to say sorry," you tell him sternly, attempting to convince him as much as you are to yourself.

“i’m uhm… i’m sorry,” you utter lowly, sounding and appearing ashamed by the way your fingers fiddle with each other at your front, san almost can’t believe it.

“pardon?”

“i’m sorry, about this morning.”

it's beyond comprehension how san must've been the first person you've genuinely apologized to after going so many years of the word kept to yourself.

it must've been the absolute humiliation and loneliness that day that really got to you, breaking you down until you were so vulnerable with nothing but the choice to fold in front of the one person you felt you could still confide in.

san being that person is also beyond what you can explain.

but seonghwa only merely puffs and crosses his arms.

"i just think it would be great if we could be friends again one day," he says, the ominous dropping and voice turning soft and reminiscing again that it makes your eyes go wide before you see a smile turn up on his lips.

"if you ever want to reach out to me or hongjoong again, you know how to find us."

he leaves his last words of the night opened and vague, disappearing off with one last smile before he's out of your sight, leaving you with much to think about--just exactly as he intended.

there's only so much excuses to make or places to be after work just because you don't want to be there for dinner, knowing it's the day both yunho and your sister are gonna tell your parents and his the good news.

know that they're all gonna react with surprise and be so happy for them, erupting in cheers and congratulatory words that the two children they've been rooting for the longest time has finally gotten together.

there really isn't a lot, that you just sucked it up and stayed the few extra hours overtime to make up for all the instances you've slacked off, even starting on work saved for the following day, hoping it's long enough to just miss the dinner.

and just enough it is, you return right as the table's just about to be cleared, the chitters and chatters around loud enough to drown the opening and shutting of the front door with yunho the only one catching your presence standing in the hall.

"they were really happy, yeah..." he says awkwardly, standing before you in the cold chilly air of the backyard.

you really didn't want to talk about it anymore, the subject like beating a dead horse at this point. but yunho had approached you so cautiously and calmly, something genuine in his action that you couldn't say no when he asked to talk for one last time.

"hmm," you merely hum, really not made for comforting or encouraging. most of the anger already dissipated although the hurt's still there, you can't bring yourself to not feel even the slightest happy for him, even if the smallest percentage because you saw the biggest smile ever on him back at dinner.

you contemplate on what to say because yes, you're still hurt and feeling betrayed, but it's not like you can hold it over his head forever. he isn't some stranger you can easily avoid.

he's yunho and you're just gonna have to get over it; not just for his sake but also for yours just so you can feel a little more at peace and move on.

"i'm sorry," he suddenly let out, your head snapping from the ground and to his guilt-ridden eyes.

because though he still stands by what he said, not a single word a lie, the few days apart also allowed him to think outside of the box--especially from your perspective.

how selfish he really was from the start, playing along when he was being dishonest the entire time, and how much pain he could've saved everyone if he hadn't been such a coward.

if he hadn't wanted the best of both worlds and knew he would lose you in some way if you found out how he actually feels.

you have to blink a few times, feeling like a lost puppy under yunho's apologetic gaze because you honestly believe that in comparison, you have so much more to be sorry for.

and as if he could read your mind; your expression speaking for itself because you have a certain look of bafflement or aloofness whenever you feel guilty.

you won't ever say outright that you're wrong, but your body language always gave it out.

it was one of the very first traits he picked up from being around you, having seen it for himself at the starting age of twelve when you pushed a much younger san to his injury and cried--not because you got yelled at by your parents but because you felt bad.

and how distracted you were at the movies the entire time after your fight with hongjoong because you confessed to yunho a few days later that you were being a shitty friend.

you have such a way of dealing with your emotions, he wishes for there to be an outlet for you to deal with them in a healthy and accepting manner.

one that doesn't depend on him or anything else for all the wrong reasons.

"i'm sorry," he says again, eyes now softer but still sincere. "i know i already said this last time but i really got carried away and couldn't finish. but i truly am sorry. i should've told you sooner. i should've never given you any sort of false hope, and i should've just been honest from the start."

he's sure he's out of breath when he finishes, just waiting for you to now say something in return because despite all the ups and downs and shortcomings, you're the one who's been with him through most of his lowest points and he's so grateful for that.

he wouldn't want to lose you over this.

you stay quiet for a few seconds more, a mental battle in your head just so you'll be able to form something coherent when you do speak.

"we both just weren't right for each other," you say, pausing briefly, "in that way... at least."

because yunho hid things from you and you were so in your head you were convinced he was in love with you at one point, always looking at everything through a rose-coloured glass but now able to see for yourself once it cracked, just how destined it was to fail from the start.

"sorry," he mumbles, low and head still hanging in shame, you can't help the dry chuckle that falls from your lips.

"you don't have to keep telling me you're sorry. like what i told minjeong: i'll get over it."

he picks his head up from the more cheery tone, the smallest smile forming on your lips that takes him by surprise because of the illusion it gives off; that you were able to come to terms with it so fast, but he knows you and knows it's all just a facade.

nonetheless, he nods, gulping silently to pass a comment.

"i hope you're taking care of yourself."

you smile, turning your back on him and crossing your arms to stare up into the stars in the nightsky who's currently the witness to the end of your 'relationship' with the boy you've loved your whole life.

"i've considered transferring work. it's not set in stone yet, but i did talked to my boss and he said he'd help me look for an opening if i'm interested."

you think it will be good if you can seek your own independence for once, unable to think of a better time than this one.

and though you can't see yunho, you can tell he's intrigued by how his question squeaks slightly when asking.

"where would you be transferring?"

"japan," you answer, once again facing him. "it's different, but close enough where i don't have to feel like i'm halfway across the world. my boss said i have about two months-ish to make up my mind."

plus, japanese is the only other language you're fluent in. the country a similar but new enough experience and the true testimony to how you'll be, away from the grasp of your parents.

"i see," yunho replies, nodding in understanding; so much to say but at the same time unable to say anything. he wouldn't ever want to hear someone he's close to plans on moving away, but he's almost proud of you for taking that next step.

"feel free to call me up any time if you need help," he adds, a soft smile gracing his features that makes the moment so bittersweet. you wish you have the guts to hate yunho, but you really can't after all he's done for you.

you nod lightly, at the same time allowing yourself to enjoy the breeze and calm silence before letting all your guards down.

"yunho..." you call his name almost timidly, the boy responding that immediate second.

"i'm not asking for an apology or whatever. frankly, it wasn't even my problem, but i'm just saying… your life would be a lot easier if you know how to say sorry for once."

"i'm sorry," you finally tell him, to wide and surprised eyes--unsurprisingly.

"i'm sorry for putting so much pressure and baggage on you. i also should've asked about your feelings from the very beginning. i shouldn't have just... assumed."

yunho knows it's the sincerest form of apology without the need to say a lot. from the nervous timbre to the guilt in your eyes, and even the way you start fiddling with your fingers.

he only snickers, much to your initial mixed reaction until you start warming up to it as well, the low but very real giggle leaving you putting a smile on yunho's face.

"apology accepted," he says.

you allow another giggle before cutting it short and looking at him through your blinking lashes.

"if you guys have went to this extent, then i hope you'll treat her right, jeong yunho."

you leave the night at that, a sting in your chest but you know that soon enough, you'll be relieved of it and you won't even think about him anymore.

it's after sitting down for a few minutes that you get a text from san, the funny coincidence that you were just talking about the transfer with your boss as well.

san: yunho told me

san: it's true you're gonna be leaving for japan?

you honestly can't recall how san even got your number. it must've been something you did drunkenly or he must've asked for it from yunho. but for sure, you did not give it to him willingly.

y/n: he really be snitching, huh

san: so it's true ☹️

you roll your eyes and try preventing even the smallest smirk. you haven't seen the man ever since that day and now is when he decides to reach out again.

y/n: maybe 🤷

san: 😔

san: just when we were starting to get along too

y/n: lol. you'll be fine.

shaking your head, you put your phone down to return to work, thinking to yourself there's no way san's actually serious because you're sure even if you did move halfway across the world, he would barely notice you're gone.

ten minutes of silence from your phone and you're also sure he's given up on the act--when your notification buzzes again.

san: ☹️ thought you weren't gonna run away

y/n: i'm not

y/n: i just want to do something different

san: if you say so

san: you free this evening?

y/n: i get off work in about 3 hours

san: wanna do something? 🙂

y/n: well aren't you a changed man 🙃

san: i thought it was nice the other day and i just figured you might need a distraction

you have to admit the fact you were taken aback a little; in a surprisingly good and touching way that san would care about you so much as to consider the after effect of what have happened.

y/n: if you're up for it 🤷 not like i have anything better after work

san: awesome! i'll see you then 😉

--

it's not everyday that you go waltzing into a guy's place; if at all, actually, because you've ever only graced the presence of the house next door because unlike san, yunho never had the urge to get his own place or be away from the watchful eyes of his parents.

it only takes two knocks in total for the door to come apart with san standing before it, a smile on his face and every body language welcoming.

"that was fast," you comment, walking past him to get inside.

"i was waiting," he says, calm and relaxed. "you took a lot longer than you said you would."

you shrug and plop yourself down on the couch, head snapping his way to reply.

"i had to get out of my work outfit."

he acknowledges it with a nod before seating himself next to you, his phone sitting on the coffee table in front of you gone unnoticed until you see him pick it up.

"what to order?" he scrolls through the delivery app, the same time you quirk a brow.

"stew sounds really good right now," you say.

"soft tofu stew?"

"that's fine. but make it spicy."

you weren't sure what you guys were gonna be doing once you came over, but he had just said to hang out and you thought any form of entertainment was better than none.

"any drinks?" he asks, after placing the order and getting up to walk over to the fridge.

"got any sodas?"

"i got some coke."

"that'll do."

he returns with two bottles, setting it on the table with a smirk stickered on his face, you have to reframe from rolling your eyes.

"what? no alcohol tonight?" he teases, his back falling onto the couch with hands behind his head.

"not in the mood," you reply, straight and simple.

"fair enough," he mumbles.

you let your eyes wander for a few more seconds before asking, "so, what's the plan?"

he gets up to sit straight and look you in the eyes.

"i was thinking a movie, video games, or we can just talk over food."

you hum with straighten lips, nodding and making yourself at home when it's your turn to fall back on the couch.

"anything's fine," you tell him, patting at the material under you and adding, "great couch by the way."

"yeah. it cost a fortune."

"good thing that wasn't a problem," you jab lightheartedly, because you always have wondered what the hell san does all day, besides the very obvious fact that he lives off the wealth of his parents and doesn't have to worry about anything when it comes to money... at least.

"i know what you're thinking," he says, not reactive of any kind.

"no but seriously, what do you do all day?" you ask, genuinely curious and interested this time.

he just quirks his lips, responding in the most lax tone, "enjoying life and doing what anyone in their 20s would?"

you scoff and shake your head.

you really do wish to be as untroubled and carefree as san is. the way he deals with and confronts everything as if there isn't a single thing to lose.

“it definitely bothered me at first, but i didn’t see why i should be losing sleep over it. me and yunho are two very different people after all who does our own things. i’m proud of what he’s achieved so far, and he’s always had my back when needed.”

you almost can't help but to have the tiniest respect for him in that regard.

"good to know." you giggle. "but what's the plan after?"

"working on it. but not really in the hurry to rush it or anything."

you nod courtly at that, another sinking thought about how similar, yet different the two of you really are.

growing up, you've never really paid much attention to san, always writing him off as annoying and obnoxious, but when left with no choice but to face him on a deeper level, you can't help but to notice the stark differences despite relating to him more than yunho.

"and you... are you really moving? like forreal?" he says, tone a soft worried that you almost want to believe he would be sad about you leaving... being this adamant and all.

"yeah," you answer, the disappointment befalling his expression completely flying over your radar. "forreal."

"but why?" he pushes.

you shrug, everything about you relaxed--as opposed to the boy standing across as he tries to digest the very big possibility of you going away, and most likely for a long time.

"i told you i wanted to travel."

"that's moving to a whole different country," he states the obvious, much to a laughter from you as the uneasiness on him only becomes more transparent.

you laugh some more, going on to say, "don't tell me you're actually gonna be sad?" your lips forming a frown after to tease him, and for the very first time, you think san might've blushed a little.

he opens his mouth as you watch curiously, but the moment shortly disrupted by the sound of san's phone going off.

"delivery will be here in 10 minutes," he tells you still holding the device in his hand before he tosses it aside.

"i also just want to try being on my own for a while," you bring the topic back into discussion when it seems like he isn't gonna answer the question.

you add, "if i do get moved, it will be on my own accord and everything will be from my own pockets... not my parents or anyone else. boss said i have about two months and i most likely will have to train the replacement but i think it's all gonna be worth it."

you're unable to read into san's reaction, silence filling the air until he finally speaks again.

"if you want to learn to be on your own, why don't you just get a place first? you know, instead of moving across the country. as someone in the current position, it's pretty nice if i say so myself."

your lips draw into a thin line, not because he's wrong but because you've never actually thought of that. you pretty much did just jumped ship into the next big step.

"i've uh... i didn't think of that," you mumble, the words cracking a smile on san's face before a snicker rolls out.

"jesus, y/n. a bit dramatic aren't you?"

"shut up," you hiss.

as the night goes on, any doubts and worries are long forgotten when the chatters with san would go on even after the food's arrival, both chewing and talking at the same time like you're never gonna run out of topics.

the eating soon turns into a search for something to watch while the two of you squabble about anything and everything, forgetting what the hell you're even fighting him about and being surprised you could even get this worked up without the help of alcohol.

and after you're both finally worn out from the long night; the foods on the coffee table now empty and dry and the tv running for far too long, you help clean the place up when it seems he's fallen asleep and quietly make your way out of the condo shortly after.

tuesday 4:32 p.m.

san: how about this one? looks really nice and is kind of close to my place 🙂

san: *attachment*

y/n: that looks way too fancy and expensive

y/n: i just want something that's enough for one person

it's impressive; the fact san even entertained the idea of leaving everything you've already got in mind to settle for something else, but even more so that you're even considering it.

getting a place of your own and learning to live on yourself would be a lot more doable than moving across the sea and away from everyone and everything you've grown up with.

you suppose it's not a bad idea. you're just not sure if it's the right one.

san: you're not gonna find anything if you're gonna be this picky 🙄

y/n: i'm just looking

y/n: if i'm really gonna stay, i'd do the search myself

san: 😢

you don't even realize how san starts weaving into your daily life and just integrating himself into it; whether through small, mindless texts, or bigger ones like actually inviting you out or over to his place (more frequently, at least).

wednesday 1:20 p.m.

san: what time do you finish work today

y/n: i always finish at 6

san: wanna come over? i got a game we can play 🙂

y/n: it better not that stupid truth or dare

san: ☹️

san: it's not

san: it's truth or dare spin the bottle

y/n: 🥱

san won't admit how fast he came at the sound of the first knock, and you also won't admit that despite him looking very much the same, there's something different about him lately.

something you can't pinpoint but it's almost as if he's gotten more attractive somehow even though you've never really cared about any of that.

"did you wear that to work?" he comments on your outfit as you make way past him and settling inside.

"yes," you answer dryly, tone soon overturning. "what? you think i was gonna get pretty?" you smirk.

he shrugs, mumbling a "maybe" that you quietly let pass to take off your shoes.

"wanna see a few places i've looked up?" he beams, going over to the laptop that was on the kitchen counter and running over to you on the couch with it.

"why not," you mumble, scooting closer, shoulder bumping into his nonchalantly.

you watch him scroll through the abundance of luxurious condos alike his, opting to raise your brow and turn to him.

"why are they all high-profile and in gangnam?" you question.

"pfft," he scoffs, facing you head on, standing the closest he's ever been to you in a long while and remarking, "it's not like you can't afford it. come on, y/n."

"i can't." you move away from him. "if i even get a place, it's gonna be with my own savings, not my parents. i definitely can't afford a place like these. can we please look at something a little less flashy?"

he shakes his head and eventually changes the area, but an hour into the search and you're still not satisfied. the prices are either not doable or the layouts and amenities aren't to your heart's content.

"let's continue this another day," you sigh out, throwing your head back and groaning as san chuckles.

"fine," he gives in, shutting the laptop and moving it out of sight. "you're so picky."

"well you got to be. i'm sure you didn't pick this place out in a day," you say at the same time you look around.

on your own, there's no way you'd ever be able to get anything like this.

"and you don't think it's nice?"

"are you kidding?" you say in disbelief. "it's amazing. if i had the money, it might as well be my dream place. but it's okay. i can also settle for much less as long as it accommodates all my needs."

san can't help but laugh, because he thinks you're both the snazziest person he's ever met, but also the most tame, it's a bit uncharacteristic of someone who grew up wealthy all her life.

"fair enough," he says, standing up abruptly to go grab at an empty beer bottle also on the counter which you're sure he most likely prepared for, given his next set of words.

"how about spin the bottle but no dares. we can only ask questions and the person has to answer truthfully." he places it on the coffee table.

you snap to him at that with something uneasy in your eyes, prompting a comment from him.

"you scared?" he tease.

"what? no," you blow.

"then what are we waiting for?" san doesn't hesitate with one of his hands already on the bottle but you have to stop him in the process to ask one more question.

"what kind of questions though?"

it takes him maybe a second for a light smirk to crawl out of him and with a shrug, telling you, "any."

you eye the bottle on the table anxiously as it circles and clinks; not afraid of the idea of the game but more so that you're playing with san and he's gonna ask the wildest shit.

fortunately, san shoots himself in the foot.

"oh fuck, it's me."

it's your turn to smirk, letting out an almost sarcastic, "yeah."

"knock yourself out. i'm an open book."

you roll your eyes because you know he is, which is why trying to come up with something that will even faze him is gonna be a challenge.

"most embarrassing thing you have done at a party?"

he scoffs it off in amusement, like he can't believe you're even asking that.

"i thought you could do worse, y/n. but sure."

he hesitates and hums for a few seconds more before answering, "got high as fuck and almost kissed wooyoung."

a dry snicker actually escapes from your lips at the confession.

"yeah i always suspected you guys had a thing for each other."

"please don't," he says in pure disgust. "i love wooyoung forreal but no amount of high can get me to kiss the man."

you laugh, now actually the one to initiate the spin because you think it can turn out fun. you think.

and thankfully, it's not you that have to answer a question, again.

"wow," san only silently curses the double misfortunate.

"how many people have you slept with?" you blurt, bold and straightforward, san even slightly taken aback.

"don't ask questions that will break your heart."

"tsk." you roll your eyes. "you could sleep with the entire population of earth and i wouldn't give a shit."

"not even the tiniest bit?" he plays on in that voice you hate because it's always when he's trying to flirt with you.

"i'd give the tiniest shit about everyone else because poor them."

"sharp," he retracts, the amusement all over his face. "but to answer your question, maybe eight? ten? to be honest, i've lost count."

"good to know," you reply nonchalantly, nodding for him to spin the bottle this time, but you know it's only so long before your luck eventually runs out, and so it does.

"ha," he says in victory, the top of the bottle pointing at you.

"i'll go easy, don't worry just yet," he teases annoyingly, you almost want to knock your foot into his.

"what did you think of me when we first met?"

you quirk your lips and pretend to think although you already know the answer.

"well, i thought you were gonna be sweet, but that was until i got to actually know you. then you were just annoying and a pervert."

he bursts out in genuine laughter and yeah, you think he's cute and endearing like this but 95% of the time, he's getting on your nerves.

the game continues on with a back and forth of innocent enough questions; just laughing and scoffing off the ridiculousness, and you're starting to think he might spare you, until the next one turns your eyes a dark one.

"what is it about yunho that made you like him so much?"

and again, you've already stated so many times why you like him. his kindness. his attitude. the way he presents himself. the way he treats you. but if you have to pick one.

"it just seems as if he accepted me for who i am. i don't know."

the way the atmosphere shifts is scary; both of the smiles on your lips wiped and replaced by unreadable expressions as san quiets without a reply, you have to be the one to speak again.

"and you... w-why are you helping me?" you ask him.

"huh?" he repeats just so there's no mistake.

"we don't even like each other and i pretty much treat you like shit but you still seem rather concerned about my wellbeing for whatever reason."

it has gotten so silent by now, you can hear san swallowing.

"you're the one who always says you don't like me. i never said i don't like you."

it's your turn to swallow, staring back at him with nervous eyes because you're not sure how to take the statement just now or what exactly he really means.

"i just thought the feeling was mutual," you mumble, shrugging lightly.

"no. i think you just didn't care enough to ask me," he says with a dry chuckle because he's right and even you know it. your mind at the time too occupied with his brother instead.

"so like, you really don't want me to leave?" you take the opportunity to tease him, a tone on you almost unrecognizable that you think even made san a bit nervous and shy.

"you could say that," he talks lowly, on the verge of stuttering. "i've known you almost my whole life."

"and if i did?" you ask, voice turning a more serious one as the words make an etch in san's heart. it hurts to even think of the possibility.

"then i would be really upset."

you watch his eyes and lips go soft, something so genuine and sincere in his response that makes you just freeze up before breaking the tension with a forced snicker.

"you still have some time to change my mind," you encourage, because you wish for there to be bigger reasons to stay so you won't regret the could of, even if san has to be that reason.

some might call it healing, some might call it a rebound if that even applies at all, but san successfully weaves himself into your life like a routine that you're no longer fazed by a morning text or even a goodnight one.

the way he'd just check up on you during work or call during the weekends to ask how you're doing and if you're up for something together.

it's a bit pathetic he's pretty much your only friend (and even that's a reach) at this point, but you genuinely enjoy his company.

he listens well, is fun to be around, and is almost like a life-long friend who's been missing your whole life.

but while those are the ups of being with san, there's also the downs--such as the long list of girls that'd constantly ring his phone or send him a text while the two of you are together, and while that isn't any of your business, that doesn't stop the few doubts that manages to plague your mind.

are you interrupting anything? does it make you a bitch for hanging with him when he has other girls lined up? does all of this even mean anything when you could very much just be one of them?

that maybe even if there's a possibility, you could never fully give and commit yourself to someone like san because it doesn't seem like he's ready to settle for anyone.

he haven't ever had a relationship that lasted more than a few months and you haven't ever known him to have less than two option on the table.

which might be why you were so much more attracted to yunho, because in comparison, yunho seemed like he would give away his heart and soul for just you.

but you know that, though. you knew that's how san is. you shouldn't have expected anything else, but you still can't help but to feel a strange, unfamiliar sense of loathing when he's distracted by another girl.

"i talked to the landlord a few days ago and she said if i wanted to see the apartment for myself, she would be more than happy to show me," you tell san over a late night eat out; the restaurant about to close in an hour but you're sure he's not listening because his head snaps to the text he got just now.

he still attempts to sound like it's the current topic holding his attention, which you have to give him credits for.

"that's good," he shortly says, fingers fast to type something on his phone before pushing it away. "so how many more days left again?"

"about two weeks, give or take," you respond, poking at your fries with the fork.

two weeks before you'll have to make the ultimate choice to leave or stay.

it's been that long, time just flying before your very eyes to the point where yunho's presence lingering around the house for the sole purpose of your sister almost no longer does an effect to you.

"wow. already?"

"yeah."

san offers to pay for the meal and drive you home instead of the usual catching a movie at his place before the actual end of the night and it's not like you're gonna fight him on it.

he's not your boyfriend and he definitely doesn't have any obligations to follow through any routines or whatever, so why are you all of a sudden feeling so tense about it?

tense and bitter about the fact that after he drives you home, there's a likely chance there's gonna be another girl at his place.

you think you're losing it.

you had let yourself indulge more and more into the possibility of staying, which was how you found the place that you could practically call ideal.

though it's only one bedroom, the modern but warm-toned style of the complex as a whole, as well as the location and pretty much everything else is convenient and accommodates all your needs.

when you had finally set a time and meeting with the landlord, you fell in love even harder in person because the second she opened the door to the place, it was like you knew this is it.

you think it can work out. you think you can see a future in this place; in this city still. and you have been much brighter and happier lately, even telling your boss the following day that there's a big chance you're gonna change your mind about the move given time is creeping up.

you had sent a text to san so excited because you want to tell him in person, every day the chance of you actually staying increasing by the second and he had told you he'd be available tomorrow night.

despite the conflicts swirling in your stomach a week ago, san had made up for it by being attentive as usual and making you feel like he really cares about you that the occasional rings and texts not from you were starting to become bearable.

after all, what does he owe you?

you're content with just having someone to talk and share your day with. you think you can live with that.

but you didn't expect nor think that all it'd take for the doubts to settle in again is to actually face the reality of your situation, making your way to san's place as promised and seeing a familiar face on the way in.

long hair and with a frame you've definitely seen before, it's hard to ignore the sensation she manages to conjure by just merely passing you.

“why don’t you ask the one person that would actually know where he is? or are you too good for that, too?”

you squint, confused, until he nods his head another direction and you follow, landing right into the view of the kitchen and to someone you know all too well just from the back.

his hands on some poor girl’s waist and lips running along with hers as her grip tightened at his disheveled hair, his body pressing her forward onto the counter, the both of them making out like there won’t be a tomorrow.

“no thanks,” you dismiss, managing to reframe from an eyeroll, pushing past hongjoong but not before you catch the smirk on him.

it wasn't the first time you saw her with san, because if it was, your body wouldn't have recognized her so easily as if she's a threat, replacing all the excitement and hope with nothing but old and plain insecurities.

then it's as if everything was a mistake.

choosing to stay because of san and with nothing but the hope that it will all work out... instead of going away on your own for some time and learning to really be independent.

your whole life, you've already been nothing but emotionally dependent on someone else, looking to them as a source of support, and you've realized that this time, it isn't any different.

you've just moved from yunho to san... and you didn't even like san for the longest time.

so how long before it will hit you that staying was a mistake; and especially that choosing to stay because of san was gonna be the biggest one of them all.

you have the tendency to catch feelings way too fast, and even if not romantic which you won't admit in this case (even if it might be), you react strongly to it and the feeling is consuming.

because how long before san will leave you the way yunho did?

everything may seem good for now but they will all meet the same ending. and to think of everything in perspective this way, you know you're not meant to stay.

your parents, yunho and your sister, san...

you don't feel ready for any of them currently, your life stuck at a point where you're not moving. and so you just turn back around and head home.

you think long and hard just to be sure this is what you want; then you think of how to tell your boss tomorrow, and about an hour later, you finally get a text from san.

san: you still coming? you said you have something to tell me

y/n: something came up sorry

y/n: i was just gonna tell you that i've made up my mind and i think i'm gonna go to japan

next // series m.list

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[demigod-shenanigans]

The choiceless hope in grief (chapter 2)

Summary: Leo Valdez has lived and died for the gods. Their war has shaped his life since he was a baby. With Gaia defeated, he sort of hopes he can finally rest. He has friends and some semblance of home to return to for the first time since he was eight years old. Just this once, he allows himself to hope the good things might stick.

But the gods aren’t done with them just yet, and by the time Leo finds his way back, Jason is gone.

This time, Leo decides he’s done just taking the Fates’ bullshit lying down. If getting his best friend back means striking a deal with the gods and venturing into the Underworld… well, it’s probably not even the most reckless thing he’s ever done.

The caveat of said deal? He has to trust Jason will follow him, or his self-doubt will doom them both.

And after the life he’s lived, Leo is so intricately familiar with self-doubt that he could probably trademark the word.

Or: The only possible way for Orpheus to succeed is if he learns to think of himself as a person worth loving.

Word Count for chapter 2: ~6k

Rating: Teen and Up

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General notes for this chapter: -More grief/self-loathing themes. Not sure if I’ll be warning for those for each chapter individually since they’re quire relevant to the overall fic, but it’s been a minute, so I thought the reminder probably couldn’t hurt. (It having been a hot minute since I posted the first chapter is also the reason why I put the fic summary here again, I won’t do that for every chapter) -This does also go into the demigod deaths from Tyrant’s Tomb (at least a little bit). The death toll in that book is huge and I honestly found it really upsetting. I’m aware the Hunters don’t canonically stay behind to help rebuild but this is my fic and I can do what I want <3

-For my sanity and yours, we’re suspending our disbelief and taking the fact that Calypso is mentally sixteen in canon at face value. Her and Leo have a variety of problems, and, as should be clear by the premise of this fic, they’re not gonna last, but please note that I will be treating them both as traumatized teenagers.

———

Chapter 2: Piper tries to make burritos unsupervised

The first Iris Message came through on the ninth of April, barely ten minutes after breakfast. Piper’s dad was already at work, which at least meant they thankfully didn’t have to explain why there was a floating rainbow that had people’s faces in it chilling in the middle of the living room.

It was Thalia and Reyna. 

Leo hadn’t even realized they knew each other, but apparently the Hunters of Artemis—Diana, whatever—had come to Camp Jupiter’s aid. This should have been a relief, but there was no relief to be found in Reyna’s expression. The only flicker of joy he saw on her face was when she told them she’d be joining the Hunters.

It wasn’t the kind of decision Leo had expected from Reyna. Then again, she barely looked like the same girl that had shown Leo around New Rome with a proud smile, eagerly listening to and expanding on Leo’s ideas for fortifications and long-range weaponry. Had it really only been a few weeks since then? It felt like a lifetime ago now.

There was still that same grim set to Reyna’s jaw, but her usual proud posture looked more like she was… well, posturing, for lack of a better word. And the expression on her face… 

Leo knew that expression. He had seen it in the mirror many times as a child, and again in the last few weeks. It was the expression of someone who’d seen their home get burnt down to the foundations and found themself sitting in the wreckage.

He knew the kind of news they were getting even before Reyna started telling them what had happened.

Thalia was easier to look at—Thalia, whose grief was all fury, small bolts of electricity dancing through her dark hair like she was the human embodiment of a storm cloud.

At that moment, she looked nothing like Jason. It was such a relief that Leo almost cried.

They’d won the battle against the emperors, but Reyna called it a Pyrrhic victory—one that was so disastrous for the victors that it was basically indistinguishable from a defeat.

New Rome was in ruins. So many had been wounded. Even more people were dead.

Leo felt sick to his stomach. He’d known some of these demigods. Not well, admittedly, but he’d fought side by side with them. The thought that so many lives had been cut short, and that none of the gods had bothered to interfere for the longest time, despite the fact that it was their kids down there, made him want to punch something. 

Knowing that at least some of them had probably been friends with Jason in the life he’d never properly remembered, and how desperately Jason had always tried to protect everyone when the gods couldn’t be bothered to… 

Leo clenched his trembling fists, flames dancing in his curls and licking at his arms, all the way up to his elbows.

He needed to go outside and cool down for a bit to avoid lighting Piper’s bedroom on fire by accident.

~~~~ They were talking about Jason’s funeral when he got back. Thalia hadn’t been able to make it, which felt like a punch to the gut. She hadn’t found out he’d died until after it was already over. Percy and Annabeth still didn’t know, and Reyna wasn’t sure about Nico.

And there was the regret Leo had been so terribly afraid of feeling. He didn’t regret keeping Piper safe, especially not after hearing just how hard-won the ensuing battle had been. She was sitting here, next to him, alive, and nothing would ever make him regret that. It wasn’t even that he suddenly thought attending the funeral would have brought him any closure. How the fuck could there ever be closure for something like this?

But the thought of Jason, who’d been abandoned by both of his parents and had his memory wiped by his patron—whose camp had barely looked for him after he’d gone missing—going into death alone, surrounded mostly by strangers who had only known the person he’d been before he’d lost his memories, if that, made Leo feel sick to the stomach. 

It didn’t matter that he knew Jason would have cared more about them being safe than he would have about them attending the funeral. It felt like failing him all over again.

“I ditched you both in life, and now he’s gone, and I couldn’t even bother to be there for him, then.”

His eyes were swimming again. Piper wrapped her arms around him wordlessly. 

Reyna—serious, stoic, collected Reyna—had an expression on her face like she wanted to reach through the Iris Message and pat his head.

“I held some private rites for him,” Thalia said gently. It wasn’t worded as a suggestion, but the meaning was clear anyway. “I’ve also spent a lot of extra time shooting arrows at stuff lately. It helps, if only a little.”

“The only thing I could shoot here is Leo, and he hasn’t annoyed me that much yet,” Piper commented, so Leo promptly kicked her in the shin. “Ow! Actually, keep it up and I might use you for target practice, after all.”

“You can’t. I still owe Thalia hot sauce.”

It was such an absurd statement that even Reyna almost cracked a smile. “Yeah, I’m going to need context on that one.”

~~~~

Two hours later, a rainbow image of Frank and Hazel popped up. The worst part of that conversation was them asking how exactly it had happened, because apparently Apollo had performed a song about it, which had been emotional but not super clear on the details. Piper struggled to tell the story again, and she was reassured several times that she didn’t have to, but she pushed through. The only slight comfort was that Jason would have been dead right away—hopefully he hadn’t been in pain for long.

The second worst part of the conversation was way more mundane: Frank asking what their plans were going forward. 

Leo didn’t think there would be much going forward for him, just in general. In his mind, he’d been planning on staying in this reprieve forever—playing video games and getting lost in the woods with Piper as they continued to pointedly ignore the emptiness of the third chair at their little table.

Jason’s face kept popping up in his dreams, but the days were mostly bearable as long as he was here with Piper.

But then Piper talked about school, and the classes she was planning to take, and the possibility of college somewhere in the area. She talked about her dad and camping and maybe getting a job to help out.

Things that a person with a normal life would have done.

And, okay, maybe a part of Leo had realized that his idea of the future wasn’t exactly realistic. He also realized he couldn’t stay 

there forever. He didn’t want to be a burden on Piper and Tristan. He knew how long Piper had been wanting to properly spend time with her dad, and now she actually had the chance to, and here Leo was, inserting himself right into the middle of their already complicated father-daughter-relationship. He wasn’t supposed to be here, messing this up for her.

As much as he disliked thinking about this, he couldn’t keep ignoring that particular part of reality. He’d already spent too much of his life in homes where he wasn’t wanted. He couldn’t stand the thought of bothering Piper so much that she started feeling that way about him, too.

As good as it felt to see Hazel and Frank, a part of Leo was relieved when they ended that call. The even more horrible, selfish part of him was also glad Hazel had promised to be the one who told Nico. Leo didn’t know him that well, but he knew Nico didn’t have many friends and that he’d already lost too much. That particular breakdown Leo felt like he was in no way equipped to handle. He could hardly even deal with himself right now.

The calls didn’t stop. 

Piper’s siblings called, asking how she was and what had happened, and so they had to tell the story again, tearing off the scab and making their wounds bleed all over the place. 

Then, like everything else wasn’t bad enough, Leo got an IM from a very anxious Harley, who seemed relieved he was alive and asked when he was coming back to camp. 

“Don’t know yet,” Leo said, forcing a smile. “Probably not for a while. I’ll call you, though. I promise.”

He didn’t have the heart to tell his kid brother that he wasn’t sure he was ever coming back—that even thinking about stepping into this place that was brimming with memories of Jason made him feel sick to the stomach.

Leo supposed he couldn’t blame Reyna for wanting to leave behind a city full of ghosts when he couldn’t even handle one of them.

~~~~

Shel invited Piper out for coffee two days later. Via letter, of all things, because obviously Piper hadn’t had a phone number to give her but Shel apparently wouldn’t let that stop her.

“You falling out of a tree really did it for her, hm?” Leo teased, trying to read the letter over Piper’s shoulder. 

“Har. Har. Har.”

“Hey, you were the one who said you liked me being supportive and annoying.” He nudged her. “Come on, what’s it say?”

“Like I told you, she just asked me to grab coffee with her.” She folded the letter before he could get a proper look at it, but Leo knew it had way too much text to just be that. 

“Liar.”

“Okay, okay.” Piper held up her hands defensively. “She really did just ask, but she might have done it with a poem.”

“Damn.” Leo raised his eyebrows. “You think she’s picked out engagement rings yet?”

“Shut up.”

“I will refer back to your comment about liking that I’m supportive and annoying again! You’ll never get me to shut my mouth now. Besides, I did promise to make you regret saying you missed me,” he teased her. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

Piper snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Shel’s picking me up in an hour. Are you sure you’ll be alright here on your own?” 

It was clear that she was reluctant to leave him, especially since her dad was at work. 

Truthfully, Leo wasn’t super thrilled about the thought of being alone, either. But it was clear that Piper wanted to do this, and that was more important than him not wanting to be alone for a few hours.

He could totally do this. He’d spent a pretty large chunk of his life alone. He had plenty of experience keeping himself busy.

“I’ve third-wheeled on enough of your dates for one lifetime, thanks,” Leo informed her, still grinning. “Besides, I should probably call my own girlfriend. That’ll be a lot less awkward without you being around to give me shit.”

Because contacting Calypso may have barely crossed his mind in the past few weeks due to him being both a garbage boyfriend and a garbage person just in general, but at least in theory, they were still dating.

Piper stuck her tongue out at him, and he just hoped his laugh wasn’t too obviously fake.

“For the record, though, this won’t be a date,” Piper said determinedly. “I’m not- I don’t think that would be fair to Shel. Not when I still have so much to figure out, and not when I’m still dealing with… you know.”

“For the record, I don’t think Jason would be the type to show up and haunt his ex during dates. If he does, let me know, because then I might have to unfriend him post-mortem.”

He knew Piper didn’t love when he made these kinds of jokes, but she never told him to stop. Humor had always been how he coped. Piper got that.

“Leo.” Piper groaned, exasperated. “Be serious for a second, yeah?”

“Oh, I’m super serious. Possessive ghost exes are a total friendship dealbreaker for me.” Leo nudged her again. “As the resident expert on constantly getting rejected, maybe don’t take my advice on this, but I don’t think there’s a timeline for these things. It’s okay if you find her cute. I think he’d want you to be happy. That’s the kind of awful sap he is.”

Leo realized he’d slipped into present tense again, but he didn’t have it in him to correct himself. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I do find her cute. I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship at the moment.”

“That’s fair.” Leo shrugged. “If I don’t get to be best man at your wedding, I’ll be really pissed, though.”

Piper stepped on his foot, so he kicked her in the leg and a moment later, they were swatting each other with pillows like they were little kids. Piper was actually laughing. For the first time in weeks, she seemed genuinely excited about something. And Leo wanted her to be happy. He was glad at least one of them was.

~~~~

The door closing behind Piper was terrifying. Suddenly, Leo was truly alone with his thoughts for the first time since Jason had died. Even late at night, when his thoughts inevitably drifted in all kinds of awful directions, Piper was there. Even if she was asleep and all he could do was hear her breathing, that still helped. This? Being alone with his thoughts in a completely quiet room? 0/10 experience, would not recommend.

He didn’t give himself much time to think. He rummaged around in his tool belt and pulled out a golden drachma for an Iris Message—as upset as Leo was with all the gods right now, he supposed at least his dad had the decency to actually give him an allowance—then pulled out the device he’d been working on. It was a small cylinder, no larger than the palm of his hand, and it obediently folded out into a prism at the push of a button. You just needed to fill it with water, switch it on, and voilà: you got yourself a rainbow. It even had an inbuilt flashlight in case you needed to use it when the sun was out.

He tried to swallow his anxiety and flipped the drachma into the rainbow.

“Iris, goddess of the Rainbow, please accept my offering. Show me Calypso. Waystation, Indianapolis.”

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the rainbow flickered and an image appeared—blurry at first, then slowly taking shape. Calypso was sitting at a desk by a window, brooding over some notebook that almost looked like…

Leo blinked.

“Huh, am just heroically saving you from your homework?”

Calypso’s head snapped up. Her eyes went wide as saucers. “Leo?” 

“I do recall that being my name, yes.” He grinned and waved. “Hi.”

He tried to remember how to talk to Calypso. The thing was, Leo wasn’t sure he’d ever actually known. Hell, even if he had, how exactly did you greet a girl you’d sort of ditched a few weeks ago and hadn’t called since?

Calypso didn’t look very amused. “Where are you? You were gone so long that- I was beginning to think you’d died!”

“Well, yeah, I did,” Leo said with a shrug. “That’s how I rescued you, remember?” 

It was easier to say that than to say anything else. To admit it really did feel like there was a part of him that had died and that he was never getting back. He didn’t want to have to actually talk about Jason—to tell the story again—especially not without Piper there. 

He realized his mistake a moment too late. Calypso’s eyes flared with anger.

“For the last time, you did not rescue me!” she snapped. “And do you think that’s funny? You disappear for weeks without a word, and that’s one of the first things you say to me? Do you have any idea how worried we were?”

Right. Joking back and forth with Piper had been so natural and easy that he’d briefly forgotten Calypso didn’t like it when he did that.

Okay, admittedly, Piper probably wouldn’t have appreciated that particular joke either. She would have crossed her arms and told him off. But they would have been okay, after.

He never felt like he and Calypso were okay, coming out of these arguments. Most of the time, he just felt like shit.

“Yeah, well, things happened. And it’s not my fault communications were down.” He didn’t look at the image in the rainbow.

“What is it?” Her voice softened a little. “What happened?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Well that’s not exactly helpful,” she huffed. “Will you tell me when you’re coming back home, at least? Maybe we can talk then.”

Leo was pretty sure he visibly winced at the word ‘home’. He wasn’t sure what the Waystation was, but he’d only spent a few days there. It wasn’t a bad place, but it most definitely wasn’t home. Home had burnt down when he’d been eight years old. The only other home Leo had ever found was ashes scattered across the ruins of New Rome now. 

Leo pushed the thought away. He had to keep it together. 

“I… listen, I don’t know yet. I just need some time to… I don’t know. Process, I guess.” 

“Process whatever it is you’re refusing to tell me about.” Calypso crossed her arms. “Fine. But you are coming back?”

There was an edge to her voice now—that of someone who had been left behind a few too many times. Over the course of her life, every person who’d ever kept her company had eventually dipped and left her heartbroken, never sparing her another thought. 

And now Leo had done the exact same thing.

Wow, he was a terrible person.

“Obviously.”

He couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t continue bothering Piper when she clearly wanted to at least try to move on. And he had promised Calypso to try and stay somewhere with her—to live a normal life with her. Going back on that wasn’t fair to her. Not even when he was sure he was too broken to live that kind of life—too broken for anyone to ever properly put him back together. 

Staying here wasn’t fair on poor Festus, either. Leo knew his dragon friend didn’t like being folded up into suitcase form as much as he was, but Piper’s new home wasn’t exactly made for huge metal dragons. 

Leo tried to keep talking to Calypso. He really did. She lit up a little when he asked about school, and so they talked about that for a while. Calypso told him about classmates she got along with and how she liked marching band and Emmie tutoring her in the subjects she didn’t understand. 

Leo listened and tried to get past the fact that he just didn’t get it. He tried to grasp her excitement for a place that had at best been boring as hell and at worst been actual torture for him. 

“That sounds… I’m glad you’re happy.”

“I wish you were here. You’ve already missed several weeks of classes, but I think you’d like this school.”

Leo almost laughed. “I highly doubt that. They have yet to invent a school that can even contain me, never mind one that I actually like.” 

“If you’re still refusing to engage in any sort of actual conversation with me that even vaguely implies there is a future where you may be coming back,” Calypso said bitingly, “will you at least tell me where you are so we can all stop worrying so much?” Leo kept brushing past the answer to that question because he knew it would prompt more questions that he wasn’t ready to get into. “Did you manage to help Camp Jupiter?”

“I-” Leo’s throat closed up. Not enough, his brain supplied. I couldn’t save Jason, and I couldn’t protect his home, either. I’m not sure me going there made a difference at all. He couldn’t bring himself to say any of that. “Kind of. I’m with Piper right now.”

Calypso’s expression soured even further.

“You ditched me and let me think you were dead for weeks so you could hang out with your friends? Let me guess, Jason is there, too.”

Somewhere, there was a rational part of Leo’s brain that realized this did sound bad. If he had been listening to that rational part right now, he probably could have had a mature conversation about this with Calypso. They could have resolved this like reasonable people.

But at the mention of Jason’s name, he just shut down. He did not tell Calypso anything. He just hung up on her.

~~~~

Leo showered, so by the time Piper got home he didn’t look like he’d spent the past hour curled up in a corner, bawling his eyes out.

Piper wasn’t an idiot, though. She knew that something was up the second she stepped through the door to find Leo in the kitchen making burritos.

“You okay?”

“Just got hungry.” He shrugged, like he wasn’t in fact trying to cook out the feelings he hadn’t been able to get rid of with his tears. It hadn’t really worked—cooking couldn’t exactly fix relationship issues or the fact that his best friend was dead—but rolling up the ingredients in one of his handmade tortillas at least helped keep his hands busy, and he actually was a little hungry. “You can have one, if you didn’t already eat on your date. Ingredients are pick what you want,” he said, gesturing at the mess of bowls and the still sizzling pan of fried tofu, “but they’re all vegetarian.”

“You are my favorite person in the whole entire world, and also definitely trying to distract me,” Piper said, shaking her head, but she did move to fill up one of the still-warm tortillas with a ridiculous amount of black beans, lettuce and tofu, combined with not nearly enough salsa, as far as Leo was concerned. “And it wasn’t a date.”

“Mhm, sure. Did you guys-” Leo broke off in horror. He’d been watching Piper work, and sure, he’d been lovingly judging some of her completely unbalanced food combos in his head, but this he could no longer tolerate. “Pipes, what in the world are you doing? I’m unfriending you.” 

He set his own food down on his plate and moved to stand beside his best friend. Screw the date interrogation, for now he had to save Piper’s poor tortured burrito.

“I thought I just had to roll the tortilla. Did I put too much stuff on it and that’s why it doesn’t work?”

She’d been trying to roll the entire thing in a single direction, impressively managing to make her excessive amounts of filling spill out of three sides at once. 

“This is what I get for briefly forgetting you grew up a rich kid with a private chef,” Leo groaned, shaking his head in exaggerated disbelief. He gently shoved Piper away from the kitchen counter to do rescue breathing on her half-slaughtered dinner. “You can’t roll it like that, you absolute heathen. You need to tuck the sides in. Here, like this. That way you won’t end up with ingredients all the way down your shirt.”

He gently opened the tortilla back up, took a spoon to move the filling Piper hadn’t spilled to the middle and then rolled it properly, like his mom had shown him when he’d been five. He made a point of doing it way slower than necessary, like he actually expected Piper to memorize the steps and maybe take notes.

“Okay, okay, point taken.” Piper raised her hands. “But heathen is a hilarious insult considering we both have a Greek god for a parent.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a riot.” Leo grinned, neatly cutting the burrito down the middle and handing the plate back to Piper. Then, he started wiping down the counter. Kitchens were the only work spaces Leo had ever properly bothered to keep tidy. “Now that neither you nor your food are at immediate risk of death, tell me how things went with Shel. You engaged yet? For your sake, I hope she’s better at rolling burritos than you, because otherwise you’re both doomed.”

He made a show of looking at her hands like he was actually expecting to find a ring.

“Shut up.” Piper rolled her eyes, but she smiled. “It was pretty great, actually.”

“Hello? Details?” Leo waved his hands in circles for emphasis. “You don’t seriously think I’m letting you off the hook that easily, do you?”

Instead of moving towards the table like she should have, Piper flopped down on the small couch with her food, so Leo grabbed his plate and joined her there. He wasn’t complaining about dinner on the couch.

“I’m only telling you if you tell me what’s up with you first. Because, distraction or not, you won’t get rid of me that easily, either.” She nudged him gently, then stuffed her mouth with food like she was trying to emphasize she wouldn’t go first.

Her face melted into a completely content expression, and Leo immediately felt happier.

“That good, hm?” Piper made a humming noise of confirmation. “Then I think you owe it to me to tell me how your date was. I promise I’ll tell you what’s up with me after,” Leo said with a grin.

He knew he had to give her something or she would never talk, but he really wanted to hear about Piper’s day before he went and ruined the mood.

“Ugh. You’re the worst.” Piper sighed, letting herself fall against the sofa’s backrest dramatically. “Fine. But only because you’ll be completely unbearable otherwise.”

“You know me so well.”

Leo tried not to feel a sting at how great Piper’s day had been without him there. What he felt when she talked wasn’t the same painful sting he’d felt when it had been her and Jason dating, though Leo couldn’t quite explain why. Most of him didn’t mind this. Hell, most of him was happy for her.

But it certainly didn’t help the feeling that he wasn’t exactly needed here.

The not-date itself actually sounded pretty nice, as long as Leo managed to make all the useless voices in his head shut up.

Shel and Piper had grabbed coffee (which Leo couldn’t sympathize with) and just talked for ages. Shel was apparently on her school’s swimming team, did theatre in her free time and liked a lot of the same music and movies as Piper. She’d lived in Tahlequah her entire life. She’d also known she was a lesbian since she was eight years old.

At that point, Piper had apparently felt like she owed her some sort of heads up—both about the fact that she was still new to all this and about having recently lost a really close friend that she’d dated at some point and how that didn’t leave her with much headspace to figure out… everything else.

That seemed like a lot to share so early on, but Piper said Shel hadn’t minded. She’d just thanked her for being so honest, and told her she was there if Piper needed someone to talk everything through with.

“Which I obviously can’t, because well, if I told her a Roman Emperor came back to life and stabbed my ex, she’d definitely think I’ve lost it completely, but it’s a nice sentiment.”

“Yeah, I thought everything else was already a bit much, but ‘my mom is a Greek goddess, I can brainwash people and me and my friends saved the world last year’ really isn’t a conversation for a first date.”

Leo wasn’t sure how Piper could stand it. The thought of having to keep most of his life secret from a mortal parent and any new friends he made seemed impossible to him. Hell, even if he’d wanted to, Leo was pretty sure he’d inevitably slip up and make a joke about the time he almost got eaten by a giant killer shrimp, and that was if he didn’t anxiously catch himself on fire first.

“Anyway, she said it’s totally understandable that I need time, and if the worst she can get out of this is a friendship with a pretty girl, that’s still a win in her book. And she still insisted on paying, to welcome me here,” Piper told Leo fondly. “It was… I don’t know. She’s nice. I’ll probably end up at the same school as her, and she’s offered to show me around.”

“So, how soon can I expect a wedding invite?” Leo asked with a grin. “You’ll remember the best man thing, right?”

“Keep this up and you won't get an invite if I do actually get married one day,” she teased back, gently flicking him in the head. “Now, tell me what’s going on with you. You promised. Did your call with your girlfriend go okay?”

Leo winced, which was answer enough in his opinion, but he knew Piper would disagree with him on that one. He still didn’t want to have this conversation. He also really didn’t want to bring Piper down when she’d finally had a good day for the first time in ages.

But she was looking at him expectantly, and Leo knew that no matter how much he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to get out of this one.

“It wasn’t great. Apparently, me being gone for so long had everyone pretty worried. Go figure,” he admitted, hoping he could avoid elaborating. He didn’t exactly want to dump all of his relationship issues on Piper, especially since there wasn’t anything she could do to fix them. He knew it was sort of necessary to keep talking, but he could barely get the words out. “And, uh. Because of that, I think it might be time for me to head back to the Waystation.”

It was something he’d been thinking about on and off since that IM with Frank and Hazel. And as much as the thought of going back made his stomach pool with dread, the call with Calypso had just sealed the deal. Once he’d managed to stop crying like a baby and his heart had quit throbbing out a painful rhythm of Jason, Jason, Jason until he couldn’t breathe, Leo had at least tried to figure out what he wanted to do now. He couldn’t keep staying with Piper, who was finally starting to be somewhat okay again. He couldn’t keep ignoring the fact that he’d just ditched Calypso for the world’s longest, most depressing sleepover.

If he wanted any chance to salvage that situation, and if he wanted to give Piper a chance to actually move on instead of continuously dragging her down with him when he didn’t want to move on the way she was trying to, then he had to go back to the Waystation.

The teasing smile slid off Piper’s face.

“Oh,” she said, her lip wobbling a little. “Do you really have to go?”

Leo felt almost relieved that Piper seemed sad, though he realized maybe that was a bit of a shitty reaction on his part. At least he hadn’t completely annoyed his way out of this friendship just yet.

“See, that’s why I refused to go first. Instant mood killer.” He tried for a half-smile. “But yeah, I should probably go back soon. I’ve kind of been neglecting my girlfriend a whole bunch—I haven’t seen her in over a month, which is pretty shitty of me. Besides, poor Festus deserves to be in a place where it’s easier for him to stretch his legs. You know he doesn’t like being in sleep cycle this much.”

Piper wrapped her arms around herself. “I guess that makes sense, but- do you have to leave right now?” 

Leo shrugged. “I mean, I don’t think another day or two will make a difference at this point. I’m going to get an earful once I get back either way.”

“Okay. Good. I know that you can’t stay here forever. But I need a few more days with you. I’m sure Festus will forgive you eventually.” Piper was obviously trying to sound like she was teasing him, but something pleading, almost desperate crept into her voice, which had Leo worried. 

“Yeah. Festus.” Leo cringed internally. He actually wasn’t all that worried about Festus staying mad at him—sure, he might pout for a bit and would probably complain most of the way back to the Waystation, but he was usually easily appeased with enough motor oil, Tabasco sauce and maybe an upgrade or two.

Leo was unfortunately pretty sure his relationship issues with Calypso would need fixing that was beyond the magical abilities of Tabasco sauce—though what would fix them, he had absolutely no idea.

Them having problems wasn’t exactly new, and hadn’t entirely been caused by him running off on her now—even if that admittedly hadn’t helped.

“So, are we doing the world’s longest goodbye movie marathon, or do you need me for anything specific?” Leo joked, trying to hide his relief at getting to stay for a few more days, consequences for his relationship with Calypso be damned. “I know you’ve been lucky to bask in my presence for so long, I’d be reluctant to let me go, too, but that sounded like you might have actual plans.”

Piper didn’t laugh. She didn’t even roll her eyes at him, which was a terrible sign. 

“If you really have to leave, there’s something I want to do first.” She reached out and took his hands with shaking fingers. “I- I’ve been thinking. About what Thalia said. And I want to find a way to properly say goodbye, too. But I don’t think I can do this without you.”

Leo felt like someone had punched him. He could basically feel the way all color drained from his face at Piper’s words.

“I- I don’t know if I can-” he stammered, fighting his instinct to immediately turn on his heels and run—out of this room and this house and preferably the entire state of Oklahoma.

Joking about it was one thing. Facing the reality of it—the fact that Jason was truly gone and he’d never get to see him or hug him or joke with him again—was an entirely different beast.

Leo wasn’t sure he was ready for that. He wasn’t sure he would ever be ready for that.

“You don’t have to say or do anything you don’t want to. I promise,” Piper told him, gently squeezing his hand. “I won’t force you to do anything you don’t feel ready for, okay? I just need you there. Please?”

Piper wasn’t charmspeaking him. Leo would have known if she was, and he knew that she’d never do that to him—not when it came to something as important as this. But she was looking at him with such wild desperation in her eyes that it was still impossible for him to say no.

It didn’t matter if this didn’t help him. Piper needed it. He’d left her for over six months. She was the one who’d actually been present when Jason had died.

The thought of that kept him up at night. He kept imagining Piper kneeling over Jason. Piper shaking Jason’s shoulders and screaming his name, hoping desperately for an answer she’d never receive. Piper clutching Jason’s body to her chest for the very last time. Piper wailing on that awful beach while Leo was a thousand miles away.

He hadn’t been there for her when she’d needed him the most. This was the least he could do to start making things up to her.

“Okay,” he said, reaching out to pull Piper into his arms. It was a mostly selfish act, really—if he hadn’t been holding onto something, Leo wasn’t sure how he would have kept himself from falling apart. “What do you want to do?”

“Jason wasn’t just a Roman demigod. Not since-” Piper broke off, but Leo caught her meaning anyway. Not since he met us. “He belonged to both camps. That was important to him. I think he should have a proper Camp Half-Blood funeral, too.”

———

Some more notes:

So, it’s been six months since I posted the first chapter of this fic and about fourteen months since I first started working on it, and I am delighted to announce that it’s finally done! I can therefore reliably promise both weekly updates and that this fic won’t be abandoned partway through! Hooray!

It still feels kind of dizzying whenever I think about this story actually being done considering how long it’s been my main writing project. I originally thought this whole fic was going to be done in like three chapters. It turns out what my brain wanted instead was a whole Leo Valdez novel. I cannot say that I, personally, am upset about this outcome.

Special shout-out to my friends who have listened to me ramble and rant about this fic for months LMAO

I poured a lot of love into this story and I hope you’ll have a good time with it! Comments obviously super, super appreciated. Thank you all for reading!

Tag list: @poppitron360 @bookIshpolythist @lilyfrey @lady-silkwing @intenebrisobscurat @manygeese @ann-rex

(If anyone wants to be added/removed from the tag list, let me know!)

[electricbluebutterflies]

Oooh and “relax, I won’t hurt you” for Frank and Karen!

Post-idk-what / vaguely-canon-divergent, PG-ish, also on ao3.

Not again.

Karen has, in fairness, a tolerance for weird shit that would surprise just about anybody who walked past her, and while it is never a good sign that she’s pretty sure she’s not alone in her apartment, the feeling in the back of her spine is calmer than it should be under these circumstances, like-

“Relax, I won’t hurt you.”

Really.

She decides, for the moment, for the sake of whatever sanity she’s got left, to ignore the elephant in the room. Turn on the lights, kick off her shoes, put her bag down on the counter, consider whether she feels like opening a bottle of wine, consider-

“If you broke my window-“

“You know I wouldn’t.”

There’s something she shouldn’t like so much about these encounters, she thinks. The steadiness of Frank’s voice suggests he’s not here because her apartment is once again a convenient place to try to bleed out, which means he either wants something or she’s pissed off the wrong person again and hasn’t quite figured it out and honestly she’s not sure which of those options she’s hoping for and-

“You better have a good reason for-“

“Always do.”

She believes him. Isn’t that where their problems always seem to be? If something makes him pop up in her life, well… always better not to ask questions, not until someone starts shooting at her anyways, but easier to just go with it. To trust, to the extent that she can trust anyone these days, that he actually does mean well.

“Are you going to tell me what that reason is, or do I get to find out when it’s all over my phone?”

“Yu aways assume the worst.”

“I’ve known you long enough for that to be fair.”

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments too long, just stays where he’s been for god-knows-how-long against a doorframe and if any other man she’s ever let int this space – not that “let in” is an accurate description but details – was that close to her bed she’d wonder what they wanted but this one-

“Karen-“

“Am I in danger, or are you?”

“Would you believe me if I say I’m not sure yet?”

So, probably both of them, for reasons currently unconnected but they will be by the time whatever the hell this is blows over…

“So what’s the plan?”

“Not the first night I’ve spent on your couch…”

None of which were remotely her idea, she’d say if she wanted to pick a fight, but none of which ended up unwanted either. He’s at least a respectful houseguest, on the occasions he’s not bleeding – doesn’t break anything, doesn’t actually sleep for more than twenty minutes in a stretch from what she can tell but stays quiet enough that she does – and she gets the protectiveness of it, the fact that he is here right now in her apartment because this is what he values most in the world, because she is what he values most in the world and someday she’s going to accept that for what it is and someday-

Not today, Karen thinks. Not for a long while yet.

She’d been thinking about a bottle of cheap white wine and she pulls it out, two glasses even though she’s not entirely sure if-

“Not an immediate threat?”

“Not sure.”

“Join me?”

This might be a bad idea. If it’s going to be a long night… but on the other hand there’s no harm in taking the edge ff, and if anything were clear enough to worry she wouldn’t but-

They got comfortable with each other, she thinks as he takes the wineglass from her hands, fingertips brushing for a heartbeat. She ought to be more annoyed by the situation than she is, but there’s just something about them now where she can’t be, she can’t-

“You’re safe,” he murmurs.

“I know.”

This is why there’s a bag in her closet that she won’t open even though she knows he wouldn’t mind if she got curious enough. This is why people she’s never met wouldn’t ever dream of touching her. Because enough of them know what she does sometimes in the dark, just enough of them know, and-

She wonders sometimes if anyone would believe how innocent they really are. She wonders if anyone would believe it if that ever changes.

“Are you alright?” she asks after one of those silences where time doesn’t mean anything, after most of a glass of wine and she’s half tempted to have another, tempted to do a lot of things, tempted to-

“Safer not to be alone tonight.”

She hears what he doesn’t say, that this is more abut him than he’s letting on, that the things in his mind that make him what he is aren’t safe right now and somehow that always seems to bring him here, to her, because she’s the one good thing left and that should scare her so much more than it does and-

“I should get you a key.”

“Already have one.”

“Do I want to know?”

“Figured it’d be in your favor if the building manager thinks you’ve got a boyfriend.”

Well there goes any realistic chance of her actually getting one, she thinks, but it’s not like she’s got time or energy or-

This dynamic they have fills those spaces well enough, she realizes. She should’ve seen that sooner, but she does now. They aren’t like that, but they might as well be for all the places they end up anyways.

“And what exactly did you say?”

“Nothing that wasn’t true.”

“You managed to get a key without me knowing, I’m not sure how-“

“I worry abut you, and maybe it’s a little early for that step but I’ll sleep better if I can know you’re safe.”

“And they believed that.” Not as much of a question as it should be.

“Anybody who’s met you would believe it.”

Met, yes; actually gotten to know, probably not, but-

If anyone ese did this to her, Karen thinks, she would seriously consider how she feels about murder. But it’s different here. With this person. With how strange they aways are.

“You’ll need a cover story for why you’re usually wounded when you come over,” she murmurs, almost a laugh.

“Bad luck won’t do?”

“Bad luck doesn’t explain why I have a whole kit for removing bullets.”

“You’ve got steadier hands. Never meant more than that.”

She’s still seen him do it himself, and some of that is honestly impressive, but-

“At least you always look better when you leave. I have enough red flags without getting mistaken for an abusive girlfriend.”

“So you’re alright with-“

“I’ve pretended to be your wife as part of some of your… projects. This is nothing.”

But it isn’t, Karen thinks as she decides she is definitely going to need a second glass of wine to get through this. It’s formal like they’ve never been before, and maybe it means something, maybe the eternal disaster of them might not be as permanent as she’d thought that day she realized she trusted him more than anyone else in the world and-

“Should’ve asked. See that now.”

“I’m not asking for an apology. We’re not like that.”

And he’s saved her life enough times, she thinks but doesn’t say, that it shouldn’t matter if he does something a little questionable to make that routine easier. She trusts that absolute loyalty, even if she isn’t sure how it works, and-

“Still should’ve-“

“Do I look mad at you, Frank?”

He’s quiet for a few heartbeats too long, then-

“Don’t know that you’ve ever been.”

He’s right, and she hates it.

He’s right, and they’ve had a few years to get this far, and somewhere in that mess Karen realized this might actually be the rest of her little life and she might actually like it and-

“Are you trying for a first time?”

He gives her a look that she’d describe as playful if that word didn’t fit him so wrong, like does she even know what kind of double entendre she just said, like-

“No. I like you on my side.”

They stand in silence for a while and this is as normal as her life ever gets, these moments of reclaimed peace in the most unlikely circumstances and-

“If you’re going to be my fake boyfriend, you should probably not ghost me for weeks on end.”

“Didn’t tell anyone the relationship was functional,” he counters, almost a laugh.

“Functional enough you have a key looks like you abandoning me is wrong.”

“You’d make someone happy. Moment you do…”

Screw this, she thinks, leaning in to kiss the side of his face. It’s a heartbeat, a feather, a beginning, the most reckless thing she’s done in a life full of those kind of choices and-

“What if I already do?”

“Could still do better.”

“And if I don’t care?”

He turns his head and puts his lips on hers and she’s had enough first kisses over the years to know what a good one is like and this one is good, this one is potential, this one is-

“You have a way of crawling under a person’s skin and making a home there.”

“And do you mind?”

“Not for a moment.”

{Technically, nothing re happens that night. Except for the part where she doesn’t sleep alone. Except for the part where she wakes up warm, and she’s used to him letting himself out around sunrise but this time he stays, this time…}

{This time, she wakes up first and kisses his eyelids and this is what it’s like to begin again.}

[pink-ninja]

I'm on a Ninjago ranting spree lately and really hot take but Koko isn't really too much better of a mother than Misako was and I'm tired of pretending she was

(not proofread btw, I wrote this in the middle of the night so there may be some grammatical mistakes)

So many people hate on Misako for abandoning Lloyd at darkleys and like yeah deserved. Koko is NOT that much better of a mother and I had a whole rant about this with my friend a few weeks ago.

So first of all let's start with the beginning of the movie, Lloyd wants to skip school, stay at home, not feel miserable on his birthday. And Koko tells him those are the best years of his life etc. and knowing Lloyds character he probably does keep it a secret of just how badly he's being treated but as Garmadon said "Look who's the absentee parent now" Koko had to have known to some extent Lloyd wasn't being treated well, she told him he just has to let people see the real him, when he comes home late and Koko is calling someone they ask her if he's turned evil and joined his father etc. Garmadon said she wantsd a normal life for Lloyd. Yet she also kept the last name Garmadon for Lloyd. She told garmadon she always told Lloyd he shouldn't be ashamed of who his father is, when his father was basically a terrorist, "boo Lloyd" became a top hit, people played in on the radio, Koko HAD to have heard it at least once. The real question is if she wanted a normal life for Lloyd why not give him her maiden name instead of Garmadon's name, she could've told Lloyd who his father is when he was old enough to understand, it could've been Lloyd's choice if people knew or not. Yet she basically stuck a label on Lloyd that would follow him his entire life they Lloyd was related to the guy that attacks the city multiple times a week.

Yes, Koko is super sweet and caring towards Lloyd, yes she cares for him, but that doesn't make her an amazing mother compared to Misako. There was so much Koko could've done in my opinion that would've spared Lloyd from being treated so terribly by pretty much everyone in Ninjago, again, given Lloyd her maiden name, heck she could've just let Lloyd stay home from school on his birthday, I don't think that was an unreasonable request from Lloyd. Also maybe not pushed him to see Garmadon in a good light, When the whole city hates Lloyd just because of Garmadon. I know it's a movie plot point but if Koko really didn't want Lloyd being ashamed of who his father is she could've told him the story of how she and Garmadon met. I think that would've given Lloyd some extra much needed closure instead of my father couldn't care less. In my opinion Koko more of put on something similar to rose colored glasses, she was super oblivious to just how much Lloyd was struggling until it was too late.

And I know misako isn't perfect again, but Misako also has her moments, she's more transparent with Lloyd the dynamic is also different in the show rather than the movie so I think after the first time Misako knows Lloyd is 1. Not a little kid anymore and 2. Has people (the ninja and Wu) that'll be there for him since the ninja are shown to have way stronger of a family bond in the show rather than them just being close friends in the movie.

[musicalmoritz]

terukane headcanons? (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠;

I’ve been waiting to answer this one all day, I needed to give it all my brain power

• They met when Akane joined the Student Council in his first year of high school, meaning they haven’t known each other too long

• They were aware of each other before that, of course. Teru knows everybody, especially the Seven Mysteries. And it’s impossible NOT to know who Teru Minamoto is

• They actually met in passing before Akane joined the Student Council but Teru was in a rush so he brushed him off, with little concern for his manners since Akane is a Mystery. This gave Akane a pretty sour impression of Teru to begin with

• Their first proper encounter was rather hostile. As soon as Fuji was out of the Student Council room, Teru drew his sword and tied Akane up. He confronted him about his stance as a Clock Keeper and revealed himself as an exorcist. They agreed to work together so long as they kept an eye on each other, and neither of them broke the other’s trust. Another poor impression

• While Akane “hates” Teru, Teru doesn’t hate Akane. He wants to be his friend but he has no concept of social norms so he goes about it all wrong. There’s also the element of him hating supernaturals AND being a sadist so ofc when he has a supernatural on hand it’s easy for him to relieve stress via bullying and torture…somebody save Akane

• But Akane is really good at reading people, so he doesn’t hold it against Teru as much as he claims to. He recognizes that he is the only person Teru gets to be completely himself around, the good and the bad with no facade. So he complains, but he puts up with it

• We’re making this a mutual au because as we all know, one-sided ships are the only thing I’m too emotionally mature for

• Teru has liked Akane ever since he met him, although he repressed it. A cute boy with brown-blue eyes and auburn hair…then he turns out to be someone Teru can be completely comfortable around…an exception to his cruel lifestyle…someone he can trust…someone who puts up with all his worst flaws…it would be weird if he didn’t fall for him, tho Teru’s classic internalized homophobia won’t let him see it that way

• Akane’s moment was chapter 79. He’s pretty smart when it comes to love so he didn’t panic about it, but it did confuse him. He also felt guilty for it, he thought the only person he could fall for was Aoi. Falling for Teru felt like a betrayal to her, so he put those feelings on the back burner. He had to figure out what was going to happen with him and Aoi before he thought about Teru (let’s just say Aoi wasn’t ready for a relationship or smth, I don’t want to completely write her out I’ll put her in therapy instead)

• Before he got resolution with Aoi tho he had to get payback for all the torment Teru put him through. Duh. So he starts flirting with him when Teru least expects it. It’s funny to watch the way his brain short-circuits when he’s flattered by someone he’s actually interested in. He gets a good few laughs out of it but once Teru realizes what’s going on he adapts and starts flirting back. They’re both good at catching each other off-guard tho, making each other flustered is simply another part of their rivalry

• They both knew the other liked them long before they actually got together. They had multiple conversations about it but they both had their own hesitations. Teru was the last one to give in because once Akane realizes he wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to get it

• Their first kiss was very spontaneous and unconventional, it probably happened in the middle of a supermarket or smth. Fans tend to write it as a quiet, personal moment but nah, I think they both romanticized the hell out of something that was objectively awkward

• When Teru gets comfortable with his sexuality, there is no stopping him from the PDA. He makes a big scene out of greeting Akane every morning at school, and clings to him whenever Student Council meetings get boring. It’s partially to annoy him but he’s also Just That Clingy. Everyone knows they’re dating and while some students have a problem with it, Teru learns not to care

• They go on lots of “childish” dates so Teru can experience all the childhood things he missed out on. Playgrounds, arcades, amusement parks, Build-A-Bear, you name it. Remember when Kou took Mitsuba to a sandbox?? Yeah that’s an ideal date for Terukane. Though Akane doesn’t get as much out of it, he still enjoys himself. As long as he’s with Teru he doesn’t really care what he’s doing

• They plan their future together a lot so Akane can lecture Teru about retiring from exorcism. It’s an ongoing argument between them, but not in like an aggressive way. Teru knows that Akane just wants him to be happy, but he’s unwilling to open himself up to happiness

• Tiara calls them Mama and Papa. Teru is the mama (I am absolutely not trying to call him the girl in their relationship or feminize him, this is just a silly little joke pls don’t cancel me they’re both on the same level of masculinity; Teru just has big Mom Friend vibes to me)

• Most people were surprised when they got together because everyone assumed they hated each other (except Kou, who Teru told before they were official)

• They become a package deal, whenever one of them is alone someone will ask where the other is at

• My brain is too fried to continue but uhhhh yeah, they kiss

Hope you enjoyed these!! Thank you for the ask, I had fun making this <3

[mightbmel]

Thinking about the Karakura gang finding out you have a crush

At first, they probably wouldn’t think too much of it. At least someone like Ichigo wouldn’t. They’re used to your crushes of the week, listening to you talk about the cutest guy you just met, or the prettiest girl you talked to the other day, often thinking nothing of your rambles as they found it amusing at the start of the day, usually right before class as you all sat together. But you never went far with any of them and that’s what they were used to, some like Uryu and Ichigo never taking your crushes too seriously.

But a few start to finally take notice as they see your shift in behavior. Specifically, Orihime. She notices you ramble less about the hot hunk you met during math class, deciding to spend time with your “friend” outside of hangouts with the group. Even finding you two having a date, which you denied, saying you two were just “hanging out”, but as airheaded as she can be, she wasn’t that oblivious. She could see it right away and start to connect the dots, realizing how often you and them would hang out together outside of school, often alone one on one. And of course being Orihime she was over the moon about this.

She’s not a snitch though! She goes to you, the source, first of course, asking you about your friend, how much time you two spend and the things you guys do together, and she notices how much you talk about them once you open up, talking in an almost never ending stream about them in such an enthusiastic and flustered manner, as that’s all she needed to know to see what you two were even if your constant compliments and deep comments about them said it all. After Orihime is done fangirling over the whole thing, she apologies, feeling like she might’ve been too nosy or intrusive, wondering if she asked too many questions, but she feels relief as you let her know you don’t mind telling her the tea. That’s why you two are best friends after all! But regardless, she too lets you know you can come to her about whatever you’re feeling and going through.

Ichigo, the strawberry, wouldn’t really try to look to deep into it at first. As someone who often was mistaken for dating friends, like the time Keigo thought he was dating Rukia, he didn’t want to jump to conclusions and assume you were with this person as he knew how it felt first hand to get accused of things like that from the jump. That, and he was so busy in his own world, both mentally and physically, dealing with hollows and his own inner demons that the sight of you hanging out with this friend of yours would fly right past his head and under his radar.

But the more Orihime pointed out how you’ve been looking happier, and hanging out less with them, his mind dwelled on those thoughts and realized you probably had a thing for this person. Thankfully, Ichigo didn’t make too much of a big deal out of it. Although he was happy for you, even if he didn’t outright say it. But the smile you had on your face everytime you’d talk about this person made it worth listening to, as he pat you on the back with a smirk.

Uryu, on the other hand, wouldn’t care too much about this, in fact, he already knew! Nobody told him, but being your friend since your first years of high school, it was pretty obvious to him what this person meant to you. Being observant he took notice himself about how you would join their plans less often to hang out with this person, how you’d gleam with light and energy whenever you mentioned them, or the way your body would perk up with interest and a flustered face when they were named dropped by Ichigo. Uryu straight up goes to you and just says “I know” when you confess how you feel about this person to him. You’re a little surprised wondering how he already knows, but he just pushes his glasses to the bridge of his nose, smiling with amusement at how oblivious your feelings were.

Lastly, Chad, the gentle giant who’s pretty quiet and keeps to himself, usually sticking around Orihime, Ichigo and Uryu, those he already knows, going out of his way to protect those around him. Chad being Chad though, he doesn’t say too much about it either. Not to anyone else at least. He’ll listen into conversations as Orihime talks about how you’ve been acting with this new friend lately, taking mental note of it along with how flustered you get anytime Ichigo teases you and pokes fun at you for how red your face gets. He doesn’t say a lot about this obvious thing you got for your “friend”, but he definitely observes quietly, in his own way, finding it cute how you act. Regardless though, as your friend, he’s happy for you, and is always there to lend an ear or give you whatever advice he has as you walk side by side, taking in everything you say as you enthusiastically rant beside him with deep hums and nods, as you swear you could see the slightest smile form on his face.

[honey-ink]

Hoarah Loux may have been a part of a Dancing Lion?

So DLC spoilers under the cut of course, but I was once again theorizing with @dan-from-onami about base game and DLX connections- more specifically Hoarah Loux/Godfrey and their origin!

So I think Godfrey/ Hoarah Loux may have come from the land of shadows and might have been a Hornsent without horns as well as a Dancing lion- specifically the back of the dancing lion. This might explain a few things from his children/origin/allies/why Marika casted him away. This might explain why Morgott and Mohg have their horns, but also lose them upon death. This might also explain why if Godwyn was born with fish features, it was also a crucible features without Marika knowing since she's only used to horns, wings and tails.

Now for origin I think Godfrey is a more domesticated version of what Marika wants for a lord, and that's why he wears armor and wields an axe. However, I think in the past as Hoarah Loux he might have escaped Messmers/Marikas genocide and abandoned the front half of the lion or escaped somehow before joining Marika and without her knowing his origins since he doesn't have horns. This would explain why in his boss fight (ESPECIALLY AS HOARAH LOUX) both him and the dancing lion are constantly jumping and using no weapons to attack (probably dried leaf arts? Or another form of art), In the frost phase of the dancing lion the back dancer also uses similar moves like horahfrost stomp (will link videos to compare because they are weirdly similar?). This might also explain why Serosh is actually a lion instead of the typical wolf/canine shadow like Blaidd and Maliketh.

Divine Dancing Lion Boss Fight

Godfrey/ Horah Loux Boss Fight

This probably also explains why the crucible knights were specifically Godfrey's knights/ why he chose them to be his knights, and chances are once Marika found out or at least clued in that Godfrey was probably Horsent was the real reason why she cast him and his men away because she didn't want to risk anything happening to the golden order. That would also explain why in our own character creation we can be any race or class we want, but no matter what we are tarnished because we once worked in allegiance with Godfrey/Hoarah Loux.

@dan-from-onami brought up a good point though because he didn't know how much he could believe Hoarah Loux is a Hornsent in particular because Marika at the first sight of any omen-hood will either murder them or boot them into the sewers- which makes a lot of sense now given her past. That's when I went back into the game and realized that in the intro Hoarah Loux is- like us- waking up from death. and in that cutscene he is chained up and impaled.

I'm also not sure if the Badlands and the Realm of Shadow are different, or if it might just be a situation where sometimes the Realm of Shadow is called the "Badlands" due to it's unwelcoming nature. A bit of a long rant haha but I never realized until now that we only know Godfrey/ Hoarah Loux as First Elden Lord and Chieftain Of The Bad Lands, but we don't really know what those titles entail for him or the rest of his story outside of the Lands Between.

[tragedybunny]

Fangs and Fairytales - Chapter 2

༺Summary༻

Serafina and Astarion saved Baldur’s Gate - and each other. Now all they want is a nice little adventure together and Astarion to walk in the sun once more. Unfortunately Sera’s patron, Titania, sets herself against the relationship. Can their love survive the ire of the Fey Queen?

In this chapter Serafina and Astarion have a rough start to their life together as both go through their separate struggles.

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Serafina (Female Tav/OC)

༺Rating༻ Mature

༺Warnings༻ Angst

༺Word Count༻ 3058

༺A/N༻ Thanks to @icybluepenguinicybluepenguin for not only being a beta but probably 50% of the reason this story exists.

Read on AO3 All chapter here on Tumblr

“Gods, it’s like being back out in the wilderness again,” Astarion groused, unceremoniously dropping the bedroll onto the stone floor. “Could they have at least tried to find a bed?”

“Astarion, half the city is still in ruins. I’m sure beds for down here will be the very next priority.” Serafina lowered her pack next to their bedroll. 

It wasn’t the sleeping arrangements that bothered him, it was having to move underground into the dark. Astarion still agonized over losing the sun, the hopefulness of the first days without the tadpole twisting back around to bitterness. The Elfsong somehow survived the destruction and they had been welcome there, but with all the activity, it didn’t seem the safest place for Astarion to make sure he avoided the sun. 

They’d been there, examining their options - well Astarion had been rejecting all of them with bitterness - when Aylin and Isobel had turned up. Aylin had laid out their plans and an invitation. They'd all huddled around a table in the Elfsong, the din of a crowd eager for distraction and release surrounding them. 

“We will take that which was once in Shar’s foul grasp and turn it into a beacon of hope in my Mother’s holy name!” 

The silence that had followed her words made clear the puzzlement of those present. 

‘What my love means is that we are taking the complex beneath the House of Grief and turning it into a refugee camp. You all are welcome to stay as long as you like,” Isobel had clarified. 

Only Sera, Gale, Astarion, and Shadowheart remained of their companions. Halsin had already begun his mission to transport refugees to the former Reithwin village, and Jaheira and Minsc were aiding the city from Jaheira’s home where she could ostensibly keep an eye on her adopted brood. Though she had made a habit of checking on them as well, coming at night to make sure Astarion was included. Sera hadn’t failed to notice the way she sought him out, and offered him patience and consolation that he often did his best to turn away. 

Adopting strays was an inescapable habit for her, even when this one was older than her. 

“You really think this is a go-” Astarion began and Sera felt herself tense. He'd been slipping back into bitterness lately, understandably so. But it felt like she was trying to pull him back from a precipice, and she was so, so tired herself.

“That sounds like a splendid solution for the time being.” Gale helpfully interjected. “I'm going to stay a while longer to help out myself before heading back to Waterdeep. I'd be thrilled to join you.”

“I agree with Gale.” Sera quickly added. She wouldn't speak for Astarion but she would let her own thoughts be known. 

There was a long pause before Astarion sighed. “I suppose at the very least I won't have to put up with the annoyance of unruly patrons clinging to one of the few taverns still standing.”

Reaching out, Sera took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Whatever it was that really bothered him about staying somewhere else, she would figure out later, in private, where opening up was less threatening. Sleep already called to her though, her new nocturnal normal still an adjustment in the making, and she hoped that tonight he didn’t let himself give into the pull of those dark thoughts, that he would let her be his comfort, and reassurance. 

It had not gone as smooth as her hopes, Astarion insisting there was nothing bothering him except that he was certain this was going to turn into some “Moon Maiden obsessed cult.”

“Fine,” Sera had finally surrendered, sometime just before dawn. “If you don’t want to tell me what’s really wrong.” 

“First I lose the sun, now you want to drag me underground, deeper into the darkness!” Astarion had exploded, fangs bared in a snarl that left her wide-eyed, shaking, and panting. 

It wasn’t as though she believed that Astarion would ever actually hurt her, but something about the raw ferocity of it stoked an instinctual fear of prey faced with predator. And despite herself, she took a step back. 

“Sera.” His face fell as he reached for her, only to have her flinch at his outstretched hand. 

A long moment passed as they stared at one another in silence, hurts open and raw. Tears gathered in Astarion’s crimson eyes that he stubbornly refused to shed. 

Finally, when her heart ached enough that she felt it would split in two, she stepped towards him, silencing the part of her that wanted to fear, and found herself in his embrace. His arms crushed her to him as they clung to one another, so much passing between them without words. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize what it felt like to you.” Sera was the first to speak, face buried in the soft, red fabric of his shirt. 

They’d purchased it at Carm’s Garms while they’d spent a couple nights prepping to enter the city proper from Wyrm’s Crossing. It may have been the first new garment Astarion had ever picked for himself. The look of hesitant joy on Astarion’s face would stay with her, even if he tried to hide it. 

That had been another rough time, Astarion putting up his walls and pushing her and the rest of their friends away with sharp words and a callous demeanor as Cazador loomed closer than ever.

They had made it through that, and they could make it through this. She just had to push on. 

“It’s not your fault. I know you said we’d find a way, but it just feels like I’m drowning in darkness.” 

Not willing to let go, Sera pulled him down into the bed with her, where they stayed wrapped around one another until sleep took her. 

After that day, Astarion had tried his best to temper himself, to let go of that growing bitterness. Though there were days it still threatened to drag him under, and she fought to keep both their heads above water. 

He did relent and agree that they should move to the House of Grief, the deal sweetened by a guarantee of a room to make their own away from the dorms which would be more communal. At least there he would be free to walk around during the day. 

And here they were, spreading a bedroll out on the floor of the old armory, a proper door leading into the cave that had once been Shadowheart’s sanctuary.

“I suppose we're lucky Shadowheart was feeling generous enough to give up her special cave.”  Astarion’s snark seemed mostly good natured. 

Shadowheart was actually overseeing a dorm of displaced families. She'd been eager to jump right in with them, as though it could heal the scars of losing her own parents. 

Sera kneeled down to straighten the bedroll.

“See, there's upsides to this already. A cave is a very appropriate lair for a vampire.” She looked down to hide a smirk, eager to enjoy the moment of levity.

Without a sound, Astarion was looming over her, arms trapping her between himself and the bedroll she’d been fixing. “So now you're an expert on vampires?” His voice was an exaggerated silken purr more like the Astarion she first met. “Tell me, what other secrets are you privy too?”

He spoke almost directly against her ear, making her shiver. 

“Well, a vampire is not as dangerous a creature as one would think. Really, once you give them a little blood, they're very tame. But they require being complimented on a daily basis or they tend to sulk.”

“Tame, you say?” The purr was lost, and she could hear the smile in his words. “I'll show you tame.” 

He pulled her back toward him until they were both sitting, Sera resting in his lap while he kissed her neck softly. Teeth dragged against her skin, threatening to pierce it. “I think you may have underestimated the danger of a vampire. We only play at being tame, but at any time, we could take what we want.”

Astarion’s fangs waited at her neck, seeking permission to dig into her skin and taste of her. 

Sera flicked her eyes to the door, they'd shut it behind them at least. They still had to set up their space, but there was no rush, they could afford to indulge. Letting herself relax into him, until it felt as though the boundaries of their bodies gave way and they were one being, she tilted her head, exposing a swath of her pale neck to him. 

There was no need for words, they'd learned to speak without them. The familiar sharp, cold pain gave way to the expected ecstasy. The first time, she'd been fascinated and afraid, trusting Astarion for some reason even though she'd barely caught him trying to take a taste of her while she slept. 

That anxiety had made the whole experience more painful. The second time had been far less fraught. 

They'd stumbled into a fight with some goblins over a gnome tied to a windmill; making the acquaintance of one Barcus Wroot. Astarion had a goblin arrow graze his shoulder and was fussing over it by the river bank as they set up camp. 

“Are you alright, Astarion?” Sera had followed him down to the bank as he'd stomped away cursing and complaining. How did she not realize how deep she was already in with the irascible vampire. 

“No,” he snapped. He'd stripped himself naked to the waist, pale skin gleaming like polished moonstone in the setting sun, and irritatedly splashed water at the wound. “The one downside to this parasite is not healing like I normally would. This bloody stings like hell and all for a gnome, of all things!” 

“Maybe Shadowheart should look at it,” she’d offered gently, unsure how to handle this Astarion, angry and lashing out. Usually he was either the flirt or the macabre humored rogue. But that morning when she’d questioned him about how he became a vampire, she’d caught the first real glimpse of something dark and horrible beneath that surface, something she should probably fear. And yet here she was. 

“Oh,” the anger vanished in an instant as he turned toward her. “No need to bother our secretive little cleric. It’s barely a scratch and I’m sure Gale turned his ankle or some other nonsense to keep her busy.” 

With preternaturally graceful steps, he’d come up from the bank to loom over her. “You know what would help though?” His voice was all light sweetness as he smirked down at her. “A little blood to help my natural healing along.” 

A blush started in her cheeks and its warmth spread through her at the memory of his body covering hers and the strange intimacy of the drinking her blood. It took entirely too long for her to respond, and his grin widened. “Right. That uh - makes sense.” 

She’d turned to leave to head back to camp and he caught her arm. “No need to get so close to the others, they still don’t seem too fond of the whole vampire thing, we can do just fine right here.” 

They’d settled in the grass on the river bank, as the fading orange light sparkled across the rushing waters, looking like little flames lurking beneath the surface. Sera wasn’t sure she wouldn’t embarrass herself if he told her to lay on her back again and hastily offered her wrist to him. “That should work just as well.” 

For a moment his face fell, as though offended by the offer, but he accepted without complaint. “As you wish, my sweet.” 

The term of endearment was new and Sera couldn’t help but giggle, it was excessive, and a reminder she shouldn’t get too soft for all those honeyed words of his. She’d seen enough of his kind growing up in the Gate, and some she trusted to the point of pain, both physical and emotional. “You don’t need to persuade me Astarion, I’m already doing it.”

“Ah - yes, well, let’s get on it with it.” 

This time she was prepared, and felt herself relax after the initial bite. It was almost pleasant, hearing the rush of her own blood and the echo of her heartbeat, as Astarion suckled at her wrist and made a small noise of pleasure. Her eyes closed and her head tilted back, the setting sun was still warm on her face. This was peaceful, so little in her life had been peaceful, she could stay here forever. 

“Serafina…” A voice roused her and her eyelids opened sluggishly. 

Astarion held her wrist in his hands still, but the wounds from his fangs were already closing. “Look at the state of you. Let’s get you back to camp and get some food in you, before anyone accuses me of anything.” 

She laughed, feeling woozy and giddy. “But this is your fault. Or should I say I met another vampire down by the river?” It was incredibly dumb and she cringed even as the words left her lips 

Astarion only sighed in response and helped her to her feet, hands encircling her waist in an oddly comforting manner. “I don’t quite think they’ll believe that.” He offered her his arm as they headed back to camp and she found herself loath to let go when she was safely settled by the newly built fire. 

She should have known she was already in far too deep right then. 

Nestled in his arms, she let him drink as much as he wanted, assured he knew when to stop, and trusting he always would. A soft moan inadvertently escaped her and she flushed like so many of those early days. 

Astarion chuckled as he withdrew his fangs. “You certainly do enjoy that,” he teased. 

“The experience has grown on me since that first time.” 

Astarion stiffened at her words, letting go of her waist. “We should probably finish getting settled.” 

Her heart tremored in her chest; it had been one of his better moods of the last couple of weeks, and it was very quickly ebbing away. “Probably,” she relented, not knowing what to say. It felt like she’d tried everything lately, and a familiar weariness settled over her. Time, it was just going to take time. 

Not letting a looming sigh escape her, she leaned over to finish settling the bedroll. 

With what little they had to call their own, arranging it didn’t take long, and a short time later found them lounging near the water in Shadowheart’s once secret spot. The smell of night orchids was almost cloyingly thick as Sera tried to concentrate on the book propped in front of her as she lay on her stomach. 

It was sometime after midnight but not yet near enough dawn for her to sleep if she was going to get used to living nocturnally. A yawn inadvertently slipped from her and the sound of Astarion idly trailing his fingers through the softly moving current stopped

“You can just go to bed, you know. One night hardly makes a difference.” 

He’d moved from where he’d sat originally - further away from her, down by the bank. At first picking at the mushrooms and then fidgeting about in the water, his own book long abandoned. He’d sneak out to hunt, animal or opportunistic criminal, but he didn’t like staying out too long with everyone in the city still jumpy. 

“If you say it every night, it will.” Stretching, she got to her feet, already moving to his side. 

He scoffed at her words and looked back toward the water as she dropped down next to him. 

“What is it?” Despite his prickly mood, she let her head rest on his shoulder, knowing he would rather have her close than not. Under the cloying scent of the night orchids, the familiar sickly sweet essence of the grave clung to his skin. Something different was on his mind than what had been plaguing him the last few weeks. 

“Noth-”

“You’re a shit liar, Astarion.” 

That got a short, sharp laugh from him. “Firsts,” he finally said, quietly. 

“Firsts?” she repeated, lost.

“You mentioned the first time I drank your blood.” He finally looked up but still not at her, gazing at the ceiling of the cavern instead. “It was a disaster. You remember, you had to fight me off you.” He chuckled a bit, but there was something deeply pained in it. 

“It was the first time you’d drank thinking blood. And we didn’t know it could mean something to us.” 

“I ruined it, I ruined all of our firsts. Our first meeting - I held a knife to your throat, our first kiss - a lie to get you to come out into the woods with me, our first night together - part of my ‘nice, simple plan’.” While he was talking, she let her arm wrap around his waist, pulling them as close together as she could. “Sometimes I wish I could have them back, I wish I could actually remember what you looked like walking down that road toward me.” 

She considered his words for a moment, struck by how it all seemed to weigh on him. “But they’re… ours. And perfect or not, they still led us here.” 

“I should have counted on that irritatingly romantic response from you,” he said, without any real malice. 

“It's the only response.” For a moment the weariness at everything slipped through. “We can't go back.”

Astarion hummed thoughtfully and brought his arm up to return her embrace. “Perhaps you're right, love.” Gently, he guided them both to laying back on the ground. 

Sera kissed him softly, brushing her lips to his and then his cheeks and forehead. They'd get through one more night at least. “Of course I'm right, and we still have firsts. For example, this is our first night in a Shar temple without everything trying to kill us.” 

Astarion laughed, real and genuine, fangs gleaming in the flickering light of their lantern. “I'll wait until sunrise to call that official.” His fingers ran gently through her hair and she shut her eyes, basking in his touch “But let's get you to bed, Sera, you look so tired, it worries me.” 

Tag list: @writingmysanity @snowfolly @sunfire-ancunin @vixstarria

@just-a-refrigerator @ladyofcrowsandcoffee @tallymonster @azu21

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate @spacebarbarianweird @cilil @bg3obsessedsideblog

@talented-bitch @claryvoyantfray

[thewardenisonthecase]

Join Me

Lucanis Dellamorte x Rook (Dawn Thorne)

Read on AO3

Summary: Lucanis needs a bath after arriving from a run in with a Venatori. Unfortunetly, or fortunetly, for him, the bathtub is already being used.

A/N: this is based on the prompt Time for a Bath from the @loveofdragonage 2025 event.

I'm not too crazy about how this turned out but its whatever i guess.

“You could join me. If you want to.” Was all Dawn had said. 

Lucanis had just returned from a meeting with Viago and Teia, and after a run in with the Venatori, he was in need of a bath. 

He didn’t expect, however, that Dawn would already be in use of it. Lucanis had barged into the bathroom without thinking and quickly began to apologize when he realized what he had done, saying he’d return later.

But she only laughed and said those eight words. 

He put his hands on his hips, staring at her, a brow raised. “Do you want me to get in?” 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” 

He chuckled and then sighed. “You do realize we’ve never…seen each other like that, right?” 

Dawn shrugged. “There’s always a first time for everything.” 

That he couldn’t deny. He took a deep breath before turning around, fully closing the door, and started the process of removing his clothes. 

In truth, no one had ever seen Lucanis like this - naked and vulnerable. Before Dawn, he had never even been this close to someone before, at least to someone who wasn’t part of his family. 

It was a strange feeling, to know that in a way, he was exposing himself. But if there was anyone to know him intimately, he was glad it was Dawn. 

“Lucanis, if you take any longer the water is going to run cold.”

He smirked and tsked. “You Wardens are so impatient, all of the time.” He said, as he undid the belt of his pants and let them drop. From behind him, he heard Dawn gasp as he slowly turned around, naked. 

Her eyes widened as she looked at him from head to toe, and Lucanis took a deep breath. 

“You’re…very handsome. I must say.” 

Lucanis smirked and walked towards the tub.

Dawn put a hand up and stopped him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“If I get to see you naked then I guess it's only fair if I…” the sentence died in her mouth as she inhaled a breath and abruptly stood up from the bath, the water dripping from her naked body. 

Lucanis mouth opened in the slightest as he realized he had also never seen Dawn naked before. He had seen the burn scars on her arms and near her chest before, but he had never been aware of how extensive they were. 

She had yet to mention how she acquired them. Lucanis never pressed the issue, but he did wonder what happened. Were they caused by an accident? Had someone done this to her, and if so, who and had they been stabbed yet? 

Regardless, the scars did not distract him from how beautiful Dawn was.

“Maker…” He whispered, and he didn’t know how long he stayed like that - staring, mesmerized, until Dawn cleared her throat. 

“The water’s getting cold.” She extended a hand and he shook his head, before walking towards her and taking it. This close, it was then he realized how red her face looked. 

They slowly submerged into the water, one on each side of the tub. They helped clean the other - Dawn rubbed the soap on his back, on the parts he couldn’t reach, and Lucanis had helped with her hair. Once the two were done, they didn’t immediately leave. 

Dawn shifted around, until her back was on his chest. Due to the position, and her height, her legs were falling off the tub, probably wetting the floor. For a moment, Lucanis hesitated, but then his arms went around her and grabbed her waist and he put his head on her shoulder. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until the water had run completely cold and they inevitably left. But one thing was sure - they would never take a bath alone again.

...

Thanks for reading! If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging it and leaving a comment, they're extremely appreciated!

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip Whenever

Hellooo it's Thursday morning and I should probably consider going to bed. So today we are gonna drop art and a little bit of writing. I'm kinda obsessing over Josh and Sydari stuff atm writing wise so you get some of that. Thank you to @skyrim-forever for tagging me. I started making this post when I got your tag :3 Tagging @viss-and-pinegar @vivifriend @saltymaplesyrup @archangelsunited @nyarevar @thescrolls-haveforetold

No pressure as usual. Just fun stuff for fun.

Now for wips n shit. Starting with arts-

Got more of his armour done and some deets on those blades. Posting a close up of his face because I'm happy with his pouty face. I just posted the chapter this art corresponds with the other day.

And a snippet of writing below the cut.

Today i'm posting a bit from chapter 18 of Serious Mistakes. Josh finally decides to ask for help from people he can trust. Only issue is that in order to ask for it, Josh must sit on ceremony. Part of it involves granting guest right to Sydari so that she can join Josh and Geldis at the Urshilaku camp. The chapter is Sydari's pov and i've chosen a section where Sydari is meeting the Ashkhan for the first time. She has mixed feelings. Josh hasn't been feeling so great over these last few chapters. ----

It wasn’t long before Geldis came back, though it was long enough for the smoking pipe to have done at least one round about the circle, and Sydari was feeling pleasantly buzzed. Geldis sat beside her and sighed as he reached once again for his drink.

“Go on,” Geldis grinned, “I know you want to know what happened.”

“I mean, sure?” Sydari shrugged as she reached for her drink again, “I’m assuming he’s just being stubborn about something?”

Geldis nodded, “Tel doesn’t want to use his stick and can’t get up by himself. Finally admitted that he probably shouldn’t have pushed it.”

She rolled her eyes a little, “Of course it was that.”

“It was a few things, Etana kinda offloaded a lot on him when he arrived,” Geldis sighed as he downed his drink, “Tel’s a bit emotional, to put it simply. He doesn’t like people seeing that.”

“So, what’s happening?” Sydari asked, her gaze still focused on the pipe that was being passed around the other side of the circle.

“Etana and I convinced Tel that no one cares if he’s got to use it,” He shrugged, sighing yet again, “We told him that the issues going on with the Urshilaku can wait until we’ve finished with Sigrun. I think it’s calmed him down a little. Just—”

“He’s a bit…” Sydari shook her head, trying to dislodge the image of Teldryn back in Glowstone Hall, eyes dead and vitriol spewing from his lips. The version of him that would hold a knife to her throat. Did the nomads know about that side of him? Or had he managed to hide it from them? She swallowed, anxiety welling yet again as the image changed and warped from Solstheim to the depths of Snow Veil Sanctum. She touched her hand to her throat before fiddling with the dark soul gem she wore around her neck. The vibration from the soul trapped forever inside brought her back to Nirn just as Geldis started speaking again.

“I don’t think he’s gonna change again if that’s what you’re worried about?” Geldis stated, his voice was quieter, almost soothing, “Ki, the Wise Woman, has a lot of tricks up her sleeve to keep Tel here. The Urshilaku have been helping him control it for a long time, girl. It’ll be okay.”

She nodded, her gaze falling to the woven carpet in front of her. They fell into a strange silence for a few moments, only ending as the murmuring from the crowd started to die down once again as the Wise Woman rose to her feet. She felt Geldis’ hand on her shoulder as he leaned in to whisper to her again.

“I think Tel’s finally ready.”

She looked towards the door just as the Wise Woman disappeared behind it. A part of her wondered if this was yet another problem stalling everything yet again. She noticed that everyone in the circle had stood, and she followed suit, letting out a sigh of relief as the door opened once again and both of the mer from earlier exited the tent and took their places within the circle, standing behind their seating cushions as the rest of the circle did. She listened to the Gulakhan speak, wishing she understood even a word of what he said. She started fiddling with her necklace again, arranging the thin, gold chain so that it wasn’t getting tangled in the decoration of her glass torc. Geldis nudged her a little as the Gulakhan stopped speaking and she snapped her attention back to the door just as it opened once again— a larger figure appearing just behind it.

“There he is,” Geldis whispered in her ear, “Tel’s gonna address everyone before we all sit down again. Just follow my lead.”

She nodded just as the figure stepped out into the light of the lanterns. She didn’t know what to make of what she saw standing before her.

Teldryn slowly made his way towards the circle, his long, thin fingers grasping the handle of an ornately carved walking stick that she didn’t recall him packing that morning. His skin— what was visible at the very least— was covered in a thin layer of what she assumed to be ash. The layers cracking around his joints a little. He wore a long, thick silk robe that was as red as his eyes and trimmed with gold thread. The sleeves looked as if they could skim the floor if the mer hadn’t rolled them up somewhat. He seemed to be wearing some sort of armour underneath the robe, dark like he usually wore though the material seemed different. Almost like the bonemold that the Redoran Guard typically wore. The darks and reds were accented by gold— the trim of his robe weaved into a set of brilliant, gold pauldrons that extended from his shoulders almost like a set of wings and she noticed he had to turn himself slightly as he made his way through the door.

She noticed that he had tied his usually messy, uneven hair into a smooth topknot, fastened with an equally brilliant golden headdress in the shape of a star. He paused for a moment once he reached the circle before taking a deep breath and stepping carefully over the large orange cushion, his knuckles flexing around the handle of his stick. His eyes locked with hers for a moment and she noticed that the skin around his sockets seemed a little puffy, with some of the paint on his face having been washed away a little, mixing with the dark kohl that she noticed he usually favoured whenever he left the Netch. The dark stains on his cheeks mixed with the bone grey of the ash reminded her of a spectre of some sort. Haunting and a little ethereal— he looked beautiful and a huge part of her hated to admit it.

Teldryn smiled at her for a brief moment before he addressed the group, using that same language that she didn’t understand save for her name. He nodded towards her before she noticed the Gulakhan and Wise Woman move to his side, grabbing his arms as they helped him sit down, slowly lowering him onto the cushion that the Gulakhan had placed down earlier. She followed everyone’s lead, sitting down silently as the group waited for their head to get himself comfortable. She watched the Wise Woman take Teldryn’s stick and rested it against the door behind them.

Teldryn cleared his throat, sitting as straight as he could. He spoke again in Ashland, his voice sounding confident with less pauses in his speech than when she had been speaking with him earlier. Almost as if he’d rehearsed this particular speech a hundred times. Though it could have entirely been because Sydari didn’t understand the language he was speaking. It was an interesting development nonetheless; she hadn’t quite expected any of this when he had first introduced himself at the Netch.

Teldryn Sero was a hard mer to figure out.

[watchandread02]

For the "Holidays with the Winchesters: A very Destiel Christmas Advent Calendar" by @archervale and @wormstacheangel

Day Eleven: Bells

Ao3

Every year one of the Elves gets to fly in the sleigh with Santa and distribute the presents. It’s probably just a coincidence that Cas has been able to do so the last couple of years.

At least that’s what Dean tells himself, as he makes sure everything is ready for him to make his trip around the world in a few minutes.

“Hello Dean.” Cas suddenly says from behind Dean.

“Dammit Cas, warn a guy. One of these days I’m going to put a bell on you.” Dean tells Cas, as he turns around to face him.

“I’m sorry I startled you, that was not my intention. I just wanted to inform you that I will be the one joining you again this year. Donna seems to have gotten a stomach bug and asked me to fill in for her.” Cas says.

Dean frowns for a moment, this is the fifth year in a row this has happened. Ever since Dean took over the mantle as Santa from his father. Normally the elves randomly pick out a name from a head and that one is lucky to ride in the sleigh and distribute presents together with Santa. Maybe Dean is doing something wrong, if none of the other elves want to fly with him. At least Cas seems happy to take the job.

Cas seems to pick up on Dean’s frustration as he asks, “are you okay with me taking over? I know that I have gone with you for the past four years and you’re probably getting sick of me. I could probably still find someone else to go out with you?”

“No! No. It’s okay. I have nothing against you coming with me. I’m just worried that the others don’t like me very much. They have all avoided going with me ever since I took over. Maybe I’m doing something wrong?” Dean admits as he looks down at his shoes.

This has been a common fear for Dean the past couple of years. Sam and Dean’s father had retired five years ago and so they had taken over. Sam had taken to handling the logistics and overseeing the manufacturing process like a duck to water. The kid was a natural. Dean took over the actual physical part of handing out the presents and checking over the naughty and nice list. Sometimes he works on upgrading the sleigh together with Charlie and makes sure that the sleigh as well as the reindeer are in top condition for the big day, every year. He had also tried to keep his relationship with the elves as good as it had been before his dad had retired. Dean had loved talking with the elves and giving them a helping hand since he had been old enough to do so. A lot of them had seen him grow into the man he was today, so he doesn’t understand why they all seem to avoid being alone with him for those few hours, once a year.

Dean is startled out of his thoughts, as Cas places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Don’t think like that Dean. They all love you very much and I have it on good authority that they admire you. It just seems that any elf lucky enough to go out with you comes down with some kind of illness, on Christmas Eve. I am always very happy to jump in to help out though.”

Dean smiles softly at Cas and thanks him for his kind words. Dean certainly isn’t going to complain, about getting to spend some uninterrupted time with Cas. They’ve also gotten a routine down in the last few years of doing this together, so everything should go smoothly.

Charlie comes up to them to give them the ‘one minute until take off’ warning. Cas and Dean get onto the sleigh and the other elves gather around to watch them fly off into the night.

With the jingeling of the bells around the reindeers necks, they are off to their first stop.

—

Dean checks in with the home base, once they have dropped off the last load of presents. Everything seems to be in order, so Dean prepares to take off for one last time. Cas checks up on the reindeer, before getting into the sled again. Dean holds his hand up and Cas takes it, slotting their fingers together. The first time Dean had held up his hand for Cas for a high five, he hadn’t understood what Dean was trying to do and just intertwined their fingers. Dean hadn’t been strong enough to actually tell Cas what he had been going for. So this has become their tradition. After they finished up their tour, Dean would hold up his hand and Cas would take it. They just sit there like that and stare into each other's eyes for a few minutes.

Their staring contest is interrupted by the radio crackling to live, “home base to Destiel. Home base to Destiel.” Charlie’s voice comes over the loudspeaker.

Dean doesn’t really understand the whole ‘Destiel’ thing, but Charlie refuses to stop using it, so reluctantly he replies, “yes this is Destiel to home base. Everything still good to go?”

“Yes you are cleared for take off. Just wanted to know what is taking you so long?” Charlie replies.

“We are going to prepare for take off now. Cas just checked up on the reindeer, before we took off for home.” Dean tells Charlie. He is definitely not going to tell Charlie that Cas and him had just spent the last couple of minutes pretty much holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. She doesn’t need more ammunition. It’s bad enough that she knows about the crush Dean has on Cas.

Dean takes a quick look at Cas, who nods at him and finally urges the reindeer to take off into the air again.

They are still probably an hour away from home when the reindeer take a sudden dive towards the ground. They land bumpily on the snow covered ground and the second the sleigh comes to a stop, the reindeers’ harnesses disengage and they take off. The tinkling of the bells get quieter until they can’t be heard anymore and are nowhere to be seen.

Cas and Dean look at each other in shock, before Dean breaths out, “What the fuck, just happened?”

—

Back at the north pole

“Are you sure this is going to work this time, Charlie?” Sam asks.

Charlie turns around in her chair at her station, to look up at Sam. “It has to. Cause otherwise I’m out of ideas. We have tried to get them alone for a few hours every year since Dean took over. And even though they have spent hours upon hours alone together nothing seems to happen.”

“Yeah I’m happy all the other elves have gone along with this for the past few years. And also the times outside of that. I don’t even know how many times we have locked them into closets together or tried to get them under the mistletoe together. If it doesn’t happen this year. I don’t know if it ever will.” Sam lets out frustratedly.

“We’ll just try this one last time and maybe a Christmas miracle will happen. After that we may just have to leave them to their own devices.” Charlie says as she turns back around to her monitors.

Sam sighs heavily, “I don’t know if I can take anymore of their staring and their UST. They don’t even listen to me when I’m in the room with them.”

“Well let's initiate our last plan: ‘Operation Destiel’s profound bond’, is a go.” Charlie says as she activates a button and the previously moving red dot on the map, comes to a sudden stop.

—

After the shock had worn off, Dean had tried to turn on the engine that Charlie and him had installed for emergencies. Dean had never imagined that the emergency would be the reindeer just taking off on their own. When the engine failed to start, Dean had moved to the front of the sleigh to look at what could be the problem. He had been looking for a few minutes already, but had not been able to see anything wrong. So Dean trudged back through the snow towards the seats, where Cas was trying to get in contact with anyone at the North Pole.

“You have any luck?” Dean asks as he heaves himself back onto the seats.

“No. I haven’t been able to contact anyone and it just keeps giving out static. Did you have any luck with the engine?” Cas says.

Dean shakes his head, “there seems to be nothing wrong with it.”

“So, what do we do now?” Cas asks looking out over the white expanse stretching all around them.

“I guess we’re kind of sitting ducks, until the reindeer come back or Charlie decides to tell us what this is all about. She must have activated something remotely, since nothing is physically wrong.” Dean explains.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, before Cas starts shivering slightly. Elves might be made for cold temperatures, but just sitting in the snow, in nothing but a flimsy uniform and not moving around, would have anyone starting to freeze at some point.

Dean takes off his thick fluffy jacket and places it over Cas’ shoulders. Cas looks over at him gratefully.

“But don't you feel cold, without your jacket?” Cas asks.

“No, I- I’ll be- be fi- fine.” Dean says as his teeth start to chatter.

Cas raises his brow at him and damn if that doesn’t make Dean at least feel hot on the inside.

“Dean, your whole body is shivering. Come on, we can share the jacket.” Cas says, as he opens up one side, so Dean can slide under the jacket with him.

Like this Dean can feel the body heat coming off of Cas. Cas snuggles in even closer to him and tucks his face into Dean’s neck. The coldness of Cas’ skin makes him jump, but then he can feel Cas let out hot puffs of air against his skin and the hairs on Dean’s body stand up. Dean leans his head on top of Cas’ and just soaks in the moment.

“Hey Dean, why do you think Charlie would trap us out here?” Cas whispers softly, breaking the silence that had settled over them.

Dean’s body stiffens up for a moment, but then he relaxes again and resolves himself that he will finally have to reveal his feelings to Cas. Of course Charlie would pull something like this.

Dean pulls back and lifts Cas’ head up. “I think I have an idea why Charlie would do this.”

Cas tilts his head, “you do?”

“Yeah.” Dean rubs the back of his neck. “Well you see Charlie might have found something out. And it’s about you.” Dean takes Cas’ hands into his and looks him resolutely in the eyes. Cas is already looking back at him, attention solely focused on Dean, like he’s the only thing that matters.

“You can tell me anything.” Cas reassures him and squeezes Dean’s hands.

“Cas, I love you.” Dean says. For a terrifying second nothing happens and then a grin breaks out across Cas face. It makes his whole face light up and the corners of his eyes wrinkle slightly.

“I love you too, Dean.” Cas tells him.

Dean lets out a sigh of relief. His eyes flicker between Cas’ eyes and lips and finally he moves in closer.

“Can I kiss you?” Dean whispers, their faces only inches from each other.

Instead of answering Cas surges forward and closes the gap between them. Their first kiss is a bit clumsy, teeth clicking against each other and noses bumping. They chuckle lightly as they pull apart for a few seconds, forehead touching just looking into each other's eyes. The second kiss is much calmer, just lips pressing against lips. The smiles on their faces prevented the kiss from really going any deeper. And then finally their third kiss they get it right. Mouths slotting together and tongues intertwining. Dean pulls Cas impossibly closer, wanting to be as close as possible. After a while they pull back, breaths heaving. Damn, Dean thinks. He’s just been kissed stupid in the middle of nowhere, by the guy he has been in love with, before he even really knew what love was.

During their impromptu make out session the jacket had slipped off their shoulders, so the both of them are shivering slightly. Dean pulls Cas close and puts the jacket over them again. This time there's no hesitation though. They just snuggle up to each other, waiting for something to happen. Because surely Charlie wouldn’t actually let them freeze to death.

After what is probably an hour of them sitting alone in the snow, Cas looks up from where his head had been resting against Dean’s chest. At some point Cas had moved into Dean’s lap and they had just been sharing stories, interspaced with silence. Cas’ ears are twitching and he looks into the distance. Dean has the sudden urge to kiss Cas’ ear. So he does, because he can do that now. Cas smiles at him, a blush rising on his cheeks.

“I think the reindeer are coming back. I can hear their bells in the distance.” Cas says, as he moves to get down from Dean’s lap, but Dean just pulls him close again.

“I’m not letting you go, now that I have you.” Dean whispers into his ear.

Cas snuggles up close to Dean again, making himself at home against Dean’s chest and Dean rests his head on top of Cas’. Around a minute later, Cas is proven true, as the reindeer are now lining back up again. Their harnesses engage automatically and the sleigh lifts up off the ground. They ignore the occasional call that comes through on the radio, just enjoying their closeness.

Around an hour later, the white vastness that had surrounded them up until now, makes way for the brightly lit buildings that make up the North Pole.

The reindeer land gracefully in the landing area. Dean and Cas reluctantly pull back from each other. Cas gets off Dean’s lap and hands him the coat that had been slipping off his shoulders. Dean just leaves it laying on the seat and moves to disembark. Once he is safely on the ground he turns back around to offer a hand to Cas. Cas takes it with a smile and they just keep holding on, even after Cas is securely standing on the ground again. Finally they turn around to face the others, who had waited up for their safe return.

Charlie tackles them into a hug. She squeezes them tight for a moment, before pulling back and slapping their shoulders.

At their affronted looks she just replies, “that’s what you get for making me think you died or something out there. Would it have been so hard to just send a little notice, when we tried to contact you?”

“And who’s fault would it have been if we had frozen to death?” Dean asks drily.

Charlie looks at least a little chastised, but a grin quickly comes back to her face. “But it worked!” she screams pointing at their still intertwined hands.

“That it did.” Cas says as he moves their hands to his mouth to kiss the back of Dean’s hand. He gives Dean a soft smile and Dean is unable to stop himself from kissing Cas on the mouth.

The gathered crowd cheers as Cas and Dean are just lost in each other for a moment.