#I think he probably wanted to “join” her at least once in those first few months and didn't see the point in continuing to live without her.

[vegan-peppermint]

In which Toby is kidnapping the reader.

Toby never wanted to hurt you. He's just young and stupid, too eager to prove to those creatures lurking in the shadows that he is cut from the same cloth as them.

It's been no more than two years since the fire swallowed his life whole, since the faceless figure first started treading on the edges of his mind. Every day spent in that eerie house, under the watchful eyes of his so-called "mentors," pushed him further from the boy he used to be. Tim's unbearable presence didn’t help—Toby had even toyed with the idea of doubling down on his pyromaniac tendencies.

Then The Operator spoke his name—his name alone. It wasn’t just a command in Toby's mind, more like a one-way ticket out of being a second-class proxy, lesser than the other two. This was his first solo mission, a validation of all the time and effort he'd poured into this twisted world. A reward.

You.

He at least had the courtesy to stalk you first. He tracked your habbits down, watching your work from across the street or joining you on your bus ride home on particularly uneventful evenings. He has been creeping closer, gliding from shadow to light and back into the dark- just like Hoodie had thought him.

Toby never wanted to scare you, that's why the first thing he did after parking the car in front you your house was going to the convenience store down the street. He'd seen you buy this particular brand of chocolate many times before. He hoped once he handed it to you it would bring an once of comfort amidst the circumstances.

The fact your hands are tied behind your back and your mouth stuffed didn't cross his mind then.

You were nothing like the others, he observed. You didn't scream or cry- hell, didn't even bite. He wanted to be grateful for such an easy capture, but -for fucks sake- you stared. Stared with gloomy, empty eyes past him into some far-off, unreadable place. Shaking his head in frustration, he muttered to himself dissaponted he ended up with the creepy chick, before slamming the the trunk door down, leaving you blind in the cramped space.

The drive to the mansion was uneventul for Toby, giving him plenty of time to let his mind wander. He hadn’t asked why you were wanted or what his boss planned for you—it didn’t matter to him then. But he couldn't help notice how you were rather easy on the eye. Maybe it was the isolation, the pent-up frustration and loneliness but a thought crossed his mind; what harm could it do if Slender let him borrow you for a little while? He chuckled darkly at his own thoughts, already imagining your surprise when, after a few days surviving on scraps in the manor’s cellar, he'd hand over the chocolate he’d picked up. You’d probably think he was your savior, fall right to his feet.

And if you would still be devoid of any reaction, he'd fuck your face into a pretty nice expression.

The old Mazda pulled into the driveway, its engine puffing and huffing, similar the old man Toby had swiped it from. Tim and Brian were already outside, blowing smoke and ash into the brittle winter air, their jackets hanging loose against the chill. The car's strained chug faltered as it rolled to a stop, steam curling from under the hood. Without waiting for Toby to fully park, Tim burried his cigarette into the frozen ground with the heel of his boot, his sharp gaze fixed on the boy as if he didnt expect him to ever return. Brian exhaled a plume of smoke, letting it drift lazily into the night.

"Back already, Tics?" Tim snarled, looking back to his friend. "What you say, Brian- think he's got her?"

The hooded man didnt respond but stepped closer with hesitation.

"Obviously I g-got her, got her," he smirked proudly getting out the driver's seat. "Hardly a challenge, really" he added, tilting his head back so high he might've been mistaken for a certain snouted animal.

"I gotta admit, that's a pretty impressive first job," Tim said, clapping Toby on the back as they approached the trunk. Brian hummed in agreement but kept a few cautious steps behind.

"What d-does Slender even want-t with some goth bitch?" Toby asked, gripping the key with newfound confidence and turning it smoothly in the rusty trunk lock. The red, corroded door creaked open with a deafening shriek, the sound swallowed immediately by an even louder silence.

So heavy was the quiet, Brian was certain he heard Tim's grin vanish, and he Toby's posture shrink. The trunk was empty.

A collared dove cooed mockingly as it flapped past their heads.

"A witch, Toby," Tim finally exhaled. "She's a witch."

"Yep, a witch, thats exactly what I was gonna say..."

[aboutcustardcreams]

The Weight of Silence

Summary: You and Rio have a chat, then strike a sort of deal, deciding to keep Agatha out of it... for now.

a/n: I know, I know, it's been way too long, and I'm really sorry. Life got in the way—first busy, then sick, then busy again. But here I am, still alive, and I truly hope there’s still someone out there who’s interested in this story o3o

previous chapter

You thought that was the right moment. Rio sat beside you, watching Agatha tuck in her son. Your eyes flickered from that scene to the woman by your side. A soft smile tugging at your lips as you reached out a hand toward her, your fingers lightly brushing on top of hers. Rio had felt your eyes on her, before you touched her. She knew you were thinking– she presumed you were waiting for her to say something, anything. 

A wave of fondness darkened her cheeks when she was met with your loving gaze. “You okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded your head slowly, the smile still on your face, though tight, a bit forced, but not untrue. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" 

"Of course." She replied in a breath. 

Rio eyed Agatha. She assumed you would want her to join you two, but when you gave her hand a squeeze, she realized that wasn’t your idea at all. Her brows furrowed at the light shake of your head. 

“Just you and me,” your voice trailed off. “If you don’t mind.”

A soft, surprised ‘oh’ slipped past Rio’s lips. “S-sure, that’s fine by me.” 

Rio swallowed thickly, as she watched you stand up. “Good.”

She nodded once more before rising to her feet. There was nothing wrong with having a word alone with you… was there? To be completely honest, the idea terrified her, she feared the pull of the Fates would be even stronger.

“Let’s go that way…”

Before moving away from the fire, you caught Agatha’s gaze from where she lay on her side next to Nicky, just a few feet away. You smiled at her, while she only frowned. Knowing her, she was probably wondering where you two were sneaking off to.  Nicky flashed you a quick glance, his eyes bleary and endearingly adorable. It was only a matter of time before he drifted off. You wiggled your fingers in a small wave and mouthed, ‘be right back’, to which he responded with a sleepy smile. 

Had it not been for Nicky curling up tightly against Agatha’s side, you knew she would have gotten up and followed you.  

She cast a glance at Rio. The Green Witch caught the plea in those blue orbs, even without a word being spoken on her part. Rio felt as if Agatha feared she would do something to you, something bad, something that would break her apart, and the worst thing was that she was right, because eventually... But not now, not yet. She offered her a quick smile before following you into the forest.

“What did you want to talk about?” Rio asked as you stopped and leaned against a tree.

You tilted your head and looked at her. Really looked at her. You didn’t answer immediately, too distracted by the storm of emotions she stirred inside your chest. You had missed looking at her like that. Admiring her. Your other wife. “It’s so nice to see you again, you know? Be together again. It reminds me of the old days–”

Rio looked down for a moment and smiled, a brief, hesitant smile, the tip of her shoe digging into the soil underneath her. Among the three, you were the sentimental one, that one person that with words could turn her world, their world, upside down just like that. "You say that now. But soon, you and Agatha will find another reason to hate me.” 

You shook your head at her words, then stepped closer. Her words made an odd pang rise in your chest. Was that really what she thought — that you and Agatha had harbored hatred for her? Fair enough, because for a little while, you did. At least you thought you did. But that was a lie. A complete fabrication of your mind. 

“No. No, it’s not like that.” You reached for her hand, intertwining your fingers with hers. She exhaled a shaky breath, clearly unconvinced, because she still remembered the way you had pushed her away the night she took Nicky. The same night she swore she wouldn’t.

It had been her fault, really. She had lied, and you and Agatha had seen through it before she could even make it true. So what else could you have done, if not hate her for it?

“I’m sorry, okay?” Your voice softened. “I should never have held any resentment toward you. It was just… hard to accept, especially when you said I couldn’t bring him back, that I wasn’t allowed–”, you lightly shook your head and inhaled softly. It didn’t matter anymore. Why? Because you still did it. You did it and succeeded. “I acted like a bitch to you, and I regret it. I will regret it every day.” 

Rio’s eyes softened, a light smile spread across her lips. She never once thought you acted like a bitch, never once blamed you for your feelings. “Silly, silly woman–” a scoff slipped past her lips as her hands found your shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “You did what any mother would do. You fought for your child.” 

Arching an eyebrow, you gently corrected her and said, “our child.”

She let out a low chuckle at that. “Yeah, yeah I know that.” 

“Answer me on this, okay?” you murmured, feeling your heart pound wildly in your chest as you leaned closer, so close you felt her breathing crashing against your face. Soothing. Inebriating. You inhaled as she hummed, encouraging you to ask your question.

“Nicky is safe, right? He’s not in any danger anymore.” Despite being rather confident about it already, your voice came out quite shy and insecure. 

Rio swallowed hard, licking her lips before answering. “Yes. You saved him, mi amor. And you did not do just that — you gave him magic.” Her eyes brimmed when she said that. “I felt it when I stood close to him earlier. You gave him a piece of you, didn’t you?”

You nodded your head, with a smile. A more relieved one. "Yeah. It will take a while to fully manifest, but it will." you admitted quietly. “I wanted to give him the best chance in life, and I thought by giving him magic– which has always been his right to possess, I– well, I think I did it, didn’t I?”

It genuinely was all that mattered to you. That he could live a normal life, like any other boy his age. Grow up, fall in love, have a future. Be a witch. 

“Of course, you did it,” her hands cupped your cheeks, the moment she noticed the sudden vulnerability in your eyes. As if you were afraid of the way she would react once she found out about it. “You did good, I promise. You did incredible,” she cooed, her voice was warm, unwavering despite the clear emotion filling it. Her throat tightened at her next words. “You will need to teach him how to master his silver.” 

She mentally cursed herself because what the heck? The moment his magic emerged, the Furies would already have you. That was the truth. 

“Yeah–” you nodded your head, without much enthusiasm. You weren’t stupid, not really. You could read those you loved pretty well, and those included also a certain ancient cosmic entity such as Lady Death. She had no secrets to you. Not really. Not for long anyway. “You’re a great teacher, too. Both you and Agatha.” A pause. “You know,” your voice trailed off, “just in case.”

The crease between Rio’s brows deepened. “I– listen, I need to tell you something–”

You shook your head gently, your hands gripping around her wrists as her fingers lingered on your face, and brushed over your cheekbones. “I know,” you said. You really didn’t, no– but it wasn’t hard to figure that your actions had consequences. And those consequences were just waiting to be paid. 

“I don’t understand,” she stuttered, clearly taken aback. “What do you know?”

You grimaced, waving your hands in front of her, as if trying to shape your words into something she’d understand. “Whatever you have to do. Whatever you said was going to happen to me if I saved Nicky– do it. It’s okay. I accept it.” 

If Agatha could hear you now, she’d probably slap you in the face, or worse. “Just please… don’t leave Agatha and Nicky if something happens to me.” You said ‘if’ though you meant ‘when’. “But pinch them in the side if they grieve for me too long–” the smile that tugged at your lips was in stark contrast with the sadness in your eyes.

Rio’s thumb brushed over your bottom lip, as her eyes flickered from that juicy spot to your eyes. With a slight shake of her head, her voice came out both firm and urgent. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen to you, but you’re not going to die. I’m not taking you,” she let out a tired sigh, as she took into your confused, adorable expression. “I have no interest in taking you–“ a pause, a small grimace, partially amused. “I mean not like that.” 

An incredulous chuckle bubbled out of you. “Oh- You’re not?” You asked, eyes widening a bit. 

She sighed again. “No, I am not,” she repeated, hoping it would stick to that stubborn head of yours. If ripping out her own heart, right here and now, could spare you from the punishment you were destined to endure, Rio wouldn’t hesitate. Could Death die? Probably not. Surely not. Immortality really sucked sometimes. Many didn’t know– didn’t even presume she had a heart that beat. But Death did have one. The only difference among hers and others was that her heart carried the pain of all living forms, plus hers. That’s why it was so heavy sometimes (most of the time). 

Your brows furrowed, when a tear slipped from Rio’s thick lashes, making you wonder what was troubling her so much. “And yet– you’re crying. Why?” you asked, wiping at her tears with your fingers. The more you touched her face, the more your gaze lingered, the more Rio felt like crumbling. Cosmic entity, her ass. 

She let out a weak, humorless laugh. "You're so damn clever, aren’t you? Brave, intelligent, annoying—” 

“Uhm, thank you?” you half-joked, though your voice wavered, your own eyes stinging with unshed tears. If Rio was crying it meant that you were still doomed and even if it wasn’t death, it didn’t mean it was any less concerning. 

But it was okay. You were ready. And you wanted her to understand that. 

“I’m sorry- Didn’t mean the last part,” she shook her head, and inhaled shakily. You mouthed ‘it’s okay’, voice soothing and reassuring. “I just– I wish I could do more. I wish I could stop this,” she waved her fingers, without addressing the issue with words, simply because she couldn’t find the strength to do so. You saw the struggle in her eyes, the panic rising. “You don’t deserve any of this, you hear me?” Her voice wavered, but her conviction didn’t. “Don’t you ever let yourself believe, even for a second, that you do–”

You started playing with the tips of her hair, winding the strands between your fingers, in a way you hoped it would soothe her. You had accepted your fate, whatever that was, so why couldn’t she?

“How much time do I have left?”

Rio paled and flinched as if struck by an invisible blow. “I… I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice so fragile, so painfully honest, that it sent a chill down your spine. 

You pulled away, with a nod, then averted your gaze. The best you could do would be make the most of the time you had left with your family. Make memories. 

Rio said you wouldn’t die, which meant you’d have to endure something else entirely. And a part of you thought that meant being separated from your family. You couldn’t think of anything worse than that. 

“I fear what the Fates will do if I let too much time pass.” Your eyes locked with hers, when she spoke. She was doing it again, breaking the rules for the sake of her family. Rio was giving you time, just as she had given it to Nicky. Your heart couldn’t be fuller. “So I say about a month, before—”

You lifted a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell me. Please…” To know what awaited you wouldn’t make it any easier, so why suffer in advance?

She wasn’t convinced it was a good idea, but nodded anyway. It was your decision after all. She folded her arms over her chest. “If you’re sure…” 

“I am,” you insisted, voice light. “All I needed to know was that I will not die. The rest— whatever it is — I’m sure I can take it.”

“The punishment is meant to last three years,” Rio added nervously. 

You gave her a curt nod and clasped your hands. “Okay. Good, I guess. Magnanimous of them,” you added, light sarcasm filling your tone. 

Rio rolled her eyes, with a scoff. “I wouldn’t use that word to describe the Fates,” there was a slight smirk on her face that eased the weight on your shoulders, even if just a bit. 

But gods– Rio resented them and she would have for the rest of her… eternal life. “This punishment— it is serious, I won’t lie about that, but not impossible to bear, especially for someone like you.” She admitted. 

You gave her a sincere, appreciative smile in return. “Oh I know that. I’m a second class kind of green witch after all, am I not?” You joked. 

Rio groaned at your antics. Of course, you remembered her calling you that. Of course, you’d use it against her now. Her gaze softened, the moment the sound of your laughter mingled with her brief, low chuckle. “You know I never believed that, don’t you? You’re much more than that.” 

You pursed your lips, waving at her. “Now you’re talking as if I’m gonna die tomorrow, so you want to make amends with me,” you huffed. 

Death frowned, “That’s not true! I was just being sure you knew how I really felt.” 

“I already do. I always did.” Your voice lowered a bit on the next part. “Don’t treat me differently from now on just because of…you know…”

“I wasn’t doing that,” Rio shifted, noticing your suddenly vulnerable demeanor. “I’ll still make your life a living hell, mi amor.”

When you chuckled, Rio’s heart soared. You knew there really was no bite to it. “Two can play this game, you know that,” you playfully nudged at her. 

The other witch rolled her eyes, with a hum. “That’s all I ever want,” she whispered, tone gentler, “a fair competition.”

You nodded, then looked away for a moment. Pursed your lips, deep in thought once again, before speaking. 

“Let’s keep this between us. I don’t want Agatha to know about any of this — even less our son.”

She frowned, taking a step forward. Her fingers ran through your hair, as she asked, “are you sure you’re willing to lie to her?”

You were quick to reply. “It’s not a lie,” you pointed out. “Look, we will tell her, just not now. Agatha needs to relax and be present for Nicky. The worst is over but that doesn’t mean our son doesn’t need protection anymore. He’s just a kid, and soon enough his magic will manifest. He needs his mom.” 

He needs you too, Rio wanted to scream, but held back. 

“Plus we do have a full month together, don’t we? I won’t waste it by being sad or preoccupied with what’s to come and neither should she.” 

“You don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” Rio muttered, not believing for a second you were okay with that.  

“Pretend, what?”

A sigh. “To be okay.”

“But I am okay.” You insisted. 

“Amooooor–” 

You chuckled at her whiny tone. “I mean it, Rio. I am.” You knew she needed to hear those words more than you needed them to be true. “Sure, I would do without this punishment, mind, but I’m okay. You said it yourself, I can handle it.” 

Rio wanted to burst into tears, but she held back. She was supposed to be of support for you, and yet you were the one giving it to her. “Don’t you ever change, amor,” Rio pulled you closer to press a lingering kiss on the crown of your head. “I like you just the way you are,” she whispered against your hair, voice filled with emotion. 

“Only like?” You asked, teasingly, nuzzling against her neck. 

Lady Death pulled away and laughed softly. “Course not,” she pointed out. “I love you.” 

Your cheeks reddened right away, and your eyes softened. It still felt like the first time you heard those words. “I love you too.” 

She playfully wiggled her fingers against your cheek. A soft giggle escaped you before you could stop it, the ticklish sensation made your head loll to the side. Grinning, she leaned in closer, her lips hovered just inches from yours, as she took in your magic eyes— eyes that she could never get enough of. “You look so much like Nicky when you’re all squirmy,” she murmured, delighted. 

“Shut up,” you huffed, though amused.  

She arched an eyebrow, “make me–” 

“You’re just so desperate to kiss me, admit it.” You teased. 

Her tongue peeked out from her mouth, as she grinned. “Is it so obvious?” 

“A little,” you admitted. “You can do it, you know– Instead of acting all innocent.” 

She let out a low dark chuckle at that. “Ah, but I do love to be courteous, mi amor.”

You groaned playfully then pulled her in, your hands around her neck, hers around your waist. When your lips crashed against hers, Rio responded to the kiss with a ‘mmph’, fingers tenderly brushing the skin around your hips. Your eyes fluttered close and your whole body tingled. 

When you pulled back, because contrary to her, you needed to breathe, her eyes were darker.  

“Oh, how I’ve missed this,” Rio whispered to you. 

You swept your tongue over your bottom lip, to have a second taste of her. “We should go back to Agatha.” 

“Yes, we should,” she replied, though she didn’t exactly take the initiative. 

“You’re not moving,” you pointed out. 

She laughed richly. “Neither are you,” she added, and you whined. Not a childish whine, mind. It sounded more like a needy, hot… utterly irresistible kind of whine. Rio’ grew a mischievous smirk as she captured your lips for another kiss. You whimpered, the moment the Green Witch wrapped her teeth around your bottom lip, sucking on it, before pulling, ever so gently, and let it go with a pop. 

“Rio…”

She huffed out a chuckle at your tone. 

“So this is what you two went off to do, huh?” It was Agatha. Her voice, sharp, a bit judgmental, caused you and Rio to snap your heads in her direction. “And I thought we needed to have a talk first. How silly of me to presume we had unfinished business–” 

“Aggie,” you tried, raking your fingers through your hair as to shake you out of this sudden arousal. You stepped closer to her. “We did talk and everything’s fine. It really is. We can move on–” 

It didn’t come as easy as you thought to look into her eyes and lie to her face. But you meant it when you said you wanted to keep it a secret for a while. Your entire family needed some peace and  quiet. Some normality.  

Agatha frowned, as her gaze flickered from you and Rio alternatively. As a mother, she worried. As a wife, she worried. Agatha Harkness simply worried and you couldn’t help it, or could you now? “Is it really?” 

“...Yeah,” Rio sighed. Her heart ached for her, but she had to respect your wishes. 

“Can we just– make a fresh start? Us three, and Nicky? I know you want it, too.” 

“You want my approval so you can go back kissing Rio like a starving wolf?” 

Rio laughed softly, and you snorted. “She’s our wife, Ags.” 

“Not for seven years, she wasn’t,” she huffed, and just like that, Rio’s laughter faded. Your stomach clenched. 

“She’s here to change that,” you insisted. Gods, it was getting harder to keep your tears at bay. Because you needed Agatha to believe that. You needed her to trust you and Rio, to be willing to move forward, to choose joy instead of resentment. To choose life for a goddamn time.  “Give her a chance like I did, please– We both know she deserves it.”

Rio moved so slowly, Agatha didn’t even realize she did. She felt her fingers curl around hers, and clenched her eyes shut with a sigh.  Agatha didn’t pull away, and that was something, a sign, a silent welcoming. 

“Please, Agatha. Let me in–” she croaked. 

The purple witch shivered, the moment you too took her hand in yours. “Please, Aggie.” Both of you looked at her with insistent, pleading, stunning eyes. 

“Is Nicky safe?” she asked, and Rio nodded right away. 

You nibbled the inside of your cheek, wishing, praying even she wouldn’t ask further questions. 

“Is she?” She eyed you, concern filling her eyes. 

You knew it wasn’t right to lie to her. But what other choice did you have?

Rio bit down her bottom lip, while nodding. “Yes, my love. She, too,” she said with a small smile. 

Agatha studied the two of you for another moment, mulling over her words and yours. As if to make sure she wasn't missing anything. You wouldn’t lie to her face like that, would you? 

“Okay,” she finally gave in. Rio should have felt relieved, yet all she felt was her stomach twist violently. 

You weren’t doing much better but you’d make up for her. You’d create unforgettable memories, making sure they spent the best month of their lives. 

You pressed closer and tugged at her clothes. “Thank you, Ags.” 

She hummed, bent down only slightly to peck your forehead. “Don’t thank me yet. I can still change my mind.” You knew she didn’t mean that, so you chuckled. 

Rio joined too. Agatha exhaled softly, stroked your hair tenderly, before eyeing her other wife. With a slow, deliberate motion, she beckoned Rio closer. For a moment, the Green Watch thought she would tell her something like ‘I watch you’ or ‘I don’t trust you yet’ or ‘Another misstep and I kill you’, instead she said, “It’s good to have you back,” she whispered, cupping Rio’s cheek lightly. 

Gods– this was going to be much harder than she thought. 

A short whimper tumbled from Rio’s lips. “It’s good to be back,” she echoed, with a glimmer in her eyes.

[kiwi-backup]

[pining, returned affection, mdni, penetration, cum kink?, mentions of belly bulge, boyfriend Choso]

[wc: 2k]

[Continuation of this post]

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

With anything unrelated to his brothers, Choso was mostly unbothered. Half the time, he didn’t know what he was doing or what he was supposed to be doing.

He only knew his younger brother Yuji was doing his best to acclimate him to normal human society.

He also knew that Yuji was his direct line to you.

The incredibly talented jujutsu sorcerer he introduced him to that one day. The day that altered his perception of everything.

That was the first time he had been bothered in a different way. A good way.

At least, he eventually came to realize it was good.

At first, his heart was beating so fast in his chest that it started to worry him. He wasn't sure what was happening, or why he was finding it hard to breathe just from looking at you. Just from receiving a warm smile from your lips.

Of course, Choso could feel human emotions. He typically felt only a slim few, and all had to do with his brothers. Otherwise, he was apathetic. Uncaring. He was a tool to be used, and a shield for his brothers.

But you? You made him feel everything at once in the most agonizing way. You seemed to offer him the complete human experience by uttering only a few pleasant words of greeting.

Afterward, Yuji gave Choso a similar shpiel to Fushiguro's—don't bother. She may be incredibly friendly and kind, but you'll never have her.

Choso never let those words sink into his skin. He was too stunned to even understand what was happening to him.

But after that day, his heart burned in a way it never had before. He just wanted to see you again. To hear you speak, even if he was too anxious to say anything back. He needed to be near you, and that urge became so strong, he found himself jumping at the chance to join Yuji and his friends whenever they went somewhere fun, all for the chance that you might be there.

Luckily, you typically were if you had the spare time. And god, Choso was getting more sick every time he saw you. At least, that was how it felt.

Boba shops, cafes, cinemas, carnivals, and everything in between, if you were there, so was he. If you were smiling and laughing, so was he.

Choso didn't know the first thing about love, and there was something about it that scared him.

But when your flirtations became more physical—the brush of your arm against his, linking together arm-in-arm to whisk him somewhere interesting, or when your fingers would just barely touch—Choso could feel himself crumbling.

That heart of his, once only warm for his brothers, was beginning to beat at a different rhythm. It was syncing up with yours, whether he knew it or not.

When it became too much, that was when he approached Yuji.

He did his best to hide how much his hands were trembling even while he spoke to his brother about you, and his throat felt impossibly dry.

"Hey...um, Yuji?"

Yuji hardly looked up from the movie he was fixated on. "Yeah?"

Choso swallowed back his apprehension, aware that he had no experience of his own, but his younger brother grew up with humans and their strange emotions. Surely he would understand.

"What does it mean when your heart beats strangely around someone, or if you get nervous around them?"

Yuji shrugged. "Usually that means you like them."

Choso furrowed his brows together. "Like them?"

"Mhm. You can like someone in a friendly way and be normal around them, but if you're not, then that means you like like them. You know?" Yuji explained, still watching the tv. "If you really like them, then you probably want to be near that person, or hold them or something."

Choso kind of understood what this like like was, but he didn't understand why it hurt. Why it burned and ached.

But he did know that feeling existed inside of him for you.

"I think I like y/n then."

Yuji went quiet for a moment, then he mumbled, "Are you sure?"

Choso scratched the back of his neck, feeling as warmth moved into his face. "I enjoy being around her, and as you said, I'd like to be near her more. I wouldn't mind holding her too. What should I do?"

He assumed Yuji was only considering the options, not completely breaking on the inside. He had no idea his younger brother was actively pushing back the urge to explode on him.

"...you should ask her how she feels..." Yuji began, forcing the words out. "And if you're serious, ask her out on a date."

Unaware of the nuances of these kinds of things, Choso came out with it one day when he couldn't handle it anymore. When you smiled that smile at him and reduced him to a sappy version of himself he was unfamiliar with.

"How do you feel?" He questioned, walking alongside you on an aimless stroll around campus. His heart was in his throat, and he felt like screaming from how nervous he was.

You let out a humored sound. "I feel okay, I guess? Thanks for asking, Cho."

Cho. That nickname you gave him always made his head go woozy.

So much so that he almost didn't realize you misunderstood his question.

"Er...I mean...maybe I remembered it wrong," he murmured to himself, trying to recall Yuji's advice. His skin was growing hotter as he tried to get it right in his head.

"You all right?" You asked, growing concerned as you took in his fluster.

Not walking anymore, and face to face, Choso found himself desperate for the right thing to say. He tried to wrack his brain, aware that he might not have that chance again.

Ask her out on a date.

Those words hit him, and Choso brightened with a sheepish smile.

"Would you like to go somewhere with me...on a date?"

Your smile eased the burning fear he had in his chest. "Sure, I'd love to. I'm free right now if you already have a place in mind."

Your acceptance was the first sign of hope he needed, and to his relief, the date went better than he expected. After that, multiple other one-on-one outings happened, and before long, Choso found himself uttering the words he never expected to leave his lips.

"I love you..." Choso heaved, gripping your hips as he bucked into you, watching as his cock slipped inside of you again and again. He watched how your arousal made a cute ring around him, and how you seemed to take him so well. So eagerly. "I-I love you...I love you..."

It left his mouth like a chant as he rammed into your soaked pussy, in lustful agony over how perfectly you squelched for him.

As much as you wanted to say it back, you were too far gone already. He made you cum twice already, and he was desperately chasing after another.

But he didn't mind how you couldn't say it. You were already fucked dumb by him, and he knew the way you clenched around his length said it all.

From in his lap while you gripped the couch with one hand and held yourself up with the other against his chest, skin already slick with sweat and warm to the touch, you looked ethereal to him. Head tipping back with a slack jaw, body angled so that he had a perfect view of your tits, the sight of you alone was enough to have him bordering his next orgasm.

"Fuck—" Choso groaned, gripping harder and relentlessly sending his throbbing cock back into you, hypnotized by your velvety walls. "You're perfect...fucking perfect..."

Your moans sent shivers right through him as he squeezed you tight, unable to choke back his whimpers and gasps for breath.

Choso was normally so well composed and visibly unaffected by most things, but every time he found himself inside you, he became insatiable. Whiny and stumbling over his words. You just felt so impossibly good around him, sucking him in and embracing his cock with pure love and adoration.

He knew you had him in a vulnerable position. He knew you had far too much power over him, but he didn't care.

Choso knew what it felt like to fuck you raw, and it was impossible for him to be without it.

"...C-Cho..." you barely managed to say, trying to hold on through his relentless thrusts. It was hard to believe you had been the one riding him initially. You had been the one fucking him until he couldn't take it anymore, and he needed to let that unwavering desperation out.

Fuck, you were too much. Too compliant with his movements. Too whimpery. Too fucking perfect.

"Jus' hold on, baby," Choso mumbled gruffly, using everything he had left to push you closer to the edge. "One more...please. Give me one more—"

He nearly choked at the feeling of your plush walls clenching around him, milking him for everything he had. Heaving in his frantic breaths, he dropped a thumb to trace messy circles against your clit.

"I'm s' full already..." you babbled, eyes closed as more pleasure swept through you while his thick girth stretched you so completely.

"I-I know," he stuttered, pulling you down to force his cock against your cervix, ramming again and again as he admired the slight bulge in your belly from him. "Jus' one more. Fuck, baby. I need to fill you again—need you to take it like a good girl..."

The mix of skin slapping and your broken moans filled the room, emphasized by the mess already between your bodies.

His cum was everywhere already, but god, Choso loved it. He loved how it glistened against your skin and how it sounded when he shoved his cock back into you, bringing it along for the ride.

It was a reminder of how much you affected him. How your perfect pussy could make him cum over and over again, and he'd still be aimlessly begging for another.

Watching your eyes roll back as your whole body convulsed through your next orgasm was always enough to make him crack. Watching the woman he loved reach that state of euphoria all because of him was all he needed to slam his hips into yours one last time as he struggled to breathe, gripping and clutching you for dear life.

Like the perfect woman you were, you'd take another bout of his cum. Still just as abundant and enthusiastic, he'd shoot his thick ropes inside you, only adding to the mess of sticky fluid between you.

Choso's head always lulled back whenever he came, so drunk off how incredible it all was to be edging blackout territory.

Full of his cum and too exhausted to keep yourself up, you slumped against him while you both caught your breath. Instinctually, Choso wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close so that he didn't have to miss a second without you.

"T-thank you, baby," Choso whispered, mustering just enough energy to run a lazy hand up and down your back.

He didn't know when it started, but it was an endearing thing he tended to do whenever you entertained his belligerent deviancy. Whenever he'd fuck you way past the point of overstimulation, and yet, you'd still let him fill you with another load.

In every way, you were perfect. Far too perfect for him.

But still, all the while he tried to bring himself back down again, he silently thanked his brother for introducing you two. For bringing the love of his life to him, and making it all possible.

[atxxzist]

sweetest lies | c.s (03)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x f!reader

word count: 7.7k

warning: none but lmk

you didn't want to go home because you knew that you'd have to face your sister.

look her in the eyes and see those very lips that yunho kissed and those hands that he probably held on more than one occasions, the wound still too fresh that it all still hurts.

but you didn't think you'd run smack into her before you could even pass the entrance, stopping in your steps immediately with surprised eyes similar to hers, the both of you swallowing down the same time as the air turn an awkward one.

you're about to just walk past her, the day from work leaving you tired and not in the mood for another long conversation about the topic, when your sister musters up the courage to let out a soft, "can we please talk?"

the tone aggravating you more than anything; how she can still sound so sweet and worried after what she's put you through.

you huff and merely roll your eyes, absolutely refusing to look at her although you know it's silly and petty--you being the older one but holding a grudge like no other, so much more less mature than her.

"i don't know what else is there to talk about," you respond, trying your very best to sound annoyed.

but she continues to make you feel worse with an even sweeter tone, "i'm sorry. i really am." and you can already picture the pearls in her eyes and pout on her lips despite still facing the other way.

"i know you like yunho. i do. but..." he's too handsome and charming; too sweet and kind that she also can't help but fall for him. she would never intend to steal him from you if he didn't return the sentiment.

"but he likes you too," you finish for her, something shifting in you that makes you finally look her in the eyes. "i get it. what am i gonna do? you're two grown consenting adults so i'll get over it."

you didn't even think such words could ever come out your mouth, but for the first time sounding surprisingly selfless because maybe talking to san did helped out a little.

there's a silence after that you're sure has marked the end of the topic, striving a step forward when her voice stops you again.

"we're planning on telling mom and dad and yunho's parents over dinner..." she says, delivery timid like she's just the slightest scared of your reaction.

you gulp down the knot, mumbling a dry, "good luck with that." and sliding past her.

you start seeing how truly mundane your life is once the person it used to revolve around is no longer there.

how, it’s a continuous cycle of work and coming home to a big empty house most days and watching reruns of shows until you’re bored out of your mind.

which is how you wind up at a co-worker’s house party, the young woman from the office next to you going by the name of dahyun kindly asking after a conversation with your boss about the paperworks regarding the transfer.

she joined the firm a few months after you but you’ve always known her to be outgoing and a people’s person, recalling the girl’s familiarity with everyone from the floor her second week of work.

it wasn’t like you had anything better to do, so you accepted the invitation and saved the following day for a night of fun, or at least you hoped so.

dahyun had said it’s just gonna be a regular house party; none of that crazy frat bullshit with the chance of someone under 20 attending, so it’s just gonna be chill and relaxing.

fives minutes into your arrival and it’s not too bad but you already find yourself hiding in a corner despite recognizing a few faces from the same working floor.

“if you’re gonna be here, you should at least try and have some fun.”

the familiar sounding voice from behind makes you quirk a brow, barely looking over your shoulder to see, probably the least expected person standing with amusement in his expression.

“seonghwa?” you say in disbelief, your body naturally following your curiosity to stand before him. “the fuck you doing here?”

“attending the party, isn’t that obvious?” he quips, continuing to close the gap before stopping with just enough space.

you scoff and roll your eyes, the sight bringing a smirk onto seonghwa’s lips.

“shut up. you know what i mean.”

“dahyun’s a friend,” he says casually, the answer making you squint.

“seriously? hongjoong and now you?” the complaint rolling off like it’s seonghwa’s fault. you can only cross your arms and sulk.

you can’t even recall the last time you actually saw seonghwa. it must’ve been your graduation or one last coincidental meeting… you don’t remember. it’s been that long.

“yeah, cause you have better things to do?” he pokes fun at the very obvious fact you came alone. “where’s that jeong boy? you know, the one that always got you on a leash.”

between hongjoong and seonghwa, seonghwa’s always been the more calm and level-headed of the two; being the voice of reason when you and hongjoong would lose it.

but on the occasion when he’d just let it go and be snarky, seonghwa could really pull a nerve.

“is that all people associate me with?” you have the audacity to click your tongue in annoyance and scoff like you didn’t do it to yourself.

seonghwa snickers.

“oh i’m sorry. it was just my most recent memory of you,” he says cheekily. voice calm but you know there’s hidden animosity underneath.

he never explicitly said whose side he took, but it was obvious from how he treated you the same as hongjoong did. it only made sense because they’ve known each other before you even came along.

you never fault him, knowing it mostly had to do with your own fuck-ups.

“hmm,” you hum, tone setting into the same sarcastic and dry one he has. “well, it’s nice catching up and all but i don't feel like reminiscing the past, so if you’ll excuse me.”

because you can admit your wrongdoings and also be both embarrassed about it, attempting to brush past him when his speaking voice stops you in track.

“hey, i was just trying to find something to talk about after all these years,” he says, half chuckling and staring at you from the opposite side now that you’ve managed to make it past him.

you snicker lowly.

“what?” you quirk a corner of your lips, continuing with amusement in your voice, “then you’re gonna say sorry? or expect me to?”

he shrugs.

"that's your choice."

but his body language now shifting, that playful look no longer in his eyes or tone, it's almost scary how fast it happened.

the next few seconds is a silent stare off, the only sound is the party music in the background and the slight beating of your heart at the ominous delivery.

"i'm not asking for an apology or whatever. frankly, it wasn't even my problem, but i'm just saying... your life would be a lot easier if you know how to say sorry for once."

seonghwa thinks you have too much pride; the same thing you believe to be keeping you intact is gonna be your ultimate downfall because even when you're clearly wrong or you know you're wrong, you never say it.

you're one to keep it bubbled inside and carry the guilt just because you think you should be unbreakable at all times. it's such an unrealistic standard you've set for yourself.

you raise a brow at that, tilting your head in confusion.

"i know how to say sorry," you tell him sternly, attempting to convince him as much as you are to yourself.

“i’m uhm… i’m sorry,” you utter lowly, sounding and appearing ashamed by the way your fingers fiddle with each other at your front, san almost can’t believe it.

“pardon?”

“i’m sorry, about this morning.”

it's beyond comprehension how san must've been the first person you've genuinely apologized to after going so many years of the word kept to yourself.

it must've been the absolute humiliation and loneliness that day that really got to you, breaking you down until you were so vulnerable with nothing but the choice to fold in front of the one person you felt you could still confide in.

san being that person is also beyond what you can explain.

but seonghwa only merely puffs and crosses his arms.

"i just think it would be great if we could be friends again one day," he says, the ominous dropping and voice turning soft and reminiscing again that it makes your eyes go wide before you see a smile turn up on his lips.

"if you ever want to reach out to me or hongjoong again, you know how to find us."

he leaves his last words of the night opened and vague, disappearing off with one last smile before he's out of your sight, leaving you with much to think about--just exactly as he intended.

there's only so much excuses to make or places to be after work just because you don't want to be there for dinner, knowing it's the day both yunho and your sister are gonna tell your parents and his the good news.

know that they're all gonna react with surprise and be so happy for them, erupting in cheers and congratulatory words that the two children they've been rooting for the longest time has finally gotten together.

there really isn't a lot, that you just sucked it up and stayed the few extra hours overtime to make up for all the instances you've slacked off, even starting on work saved for the following day, hoping it's long enough to just miss the dinner.

and just enough it is, you return right as the table's just about to be cleared, the chitters and chatters around loud enough to drown the opening and shutting of the front door with yunho the only one catching your presence standing in the hall.

"they were really happy, yeah..." he says awkwardly, standing before you in the cold chilly air of the backyard.

you really didn't want to talk about it anymore, the subject like beating a dead horse at this point. but yunho had approached you so cautiously and calmly, something genuine in his action that you couldn't say no when he asked to talk for one last time.

"hmm," you merely hum, really not made for comforting or encouraging. most of the anger already dissipated although the hurt's still there, you can't bring yourself to not feel even the slightest happy for him, even if the smallest percentage because you saw the biggest smile ever on him back at dinner.

you contemplate on what to say because yes, you're still hurt and feeling betrayed, but it's not like you can hold it over his head forever. he isn't some stranger you can easily avoid.

he's yunho and you're just gonna have to get over it; not just for his sake but also for yours just so you can feel a little more at peace and move on.

"i'm sorry," he suddenly let out, your head snapping from the ground and to his guilt-ridden eyes.

because though he still stands by what he said, not a single word a lie, the few days apart also allowed him to think outside of the box--especially from your perspective.

how selfish he really was from the start, playing along when he was being dishonest the entire time, and how much pain he could've saved everyone if he hadn't been such a coward.

if he hadn't wanted the best of both worlds and knew he would lose you in some way if you found out how he actually feels.

you have to blink a few times, feeling like a lost puppy under yunho's apologetic gaze because you honestly believe that in comparison, you have so much more to be sorry for.

and as if he could read your mind; your expression speaking for itself because you have a certain look of bafflement or aloofness whenever you feel guilty.

you won't ever say outright that you're wrong, but your body language always gave it out.

it was one of the very first traits he picked up from being around you, having seen it for himself at the starting age of twelve when you pushed a much younger san to his injury and cried--not because you got yelled at by your parents but because you felt bad.

and how distracted you were at the movies the entire time after your fight with hongjoong because you confessed to yunho a few days later that you were being a shitty friend.

you have such a way of dealing with your emotions, he wishes for there to be an outlet for you to deal with them in a healthy and accepting manner.

one that doesn't depend on him or anything else for all the wrong reasons.

"i'm sorry," he says again, eyes now softer but still sincere. "i know i already said this last time but i really got carried away and couldn't finish. but i truly am sorry. i should've told you sooner. i should've never given you any sort of false hope, and i should've just been honest from the start."

he's sure he's out of breath when he finishes, just waiting for you to now say something in return because despite all the ups and downs and shortcomings, you're the one who's been with him through most of his lowest points and he's so grateful for that.

he wouldn't want to lose you over this.

you stay quiet for a few seconds more, a mental battle in your head just so you'll be able to form something coherent when you do speak.

"we both just weren't right for each other," you say, pausing briefly, "in that way... at least."

because yunho hid things from you and you were so in your head you were convinced he was in love with you at one point, always looking at everything through a rose-coloured glass but now able to see for yourself once it cracked, just how destined it was to fail from the start.

"sorry," he mumbles, low and head still hanging in shame, you can't help the dry chuckle that falls from your lips.

"you don't have to keep telling me you're sorry. like what i told minjeong: i'll get over it."

he picks his head up from the more cheery tone, the smallest smile forming on your lips that takes him by surprise because of the illusion it gives off; that you were able to come to terms with it so fast, but he knows you and knows it's all just a facade.

nonetheless, he nods, gulping silently to pass a comment.

"i hope you're taking care of yourself."

you smile, turning your back on him and crossing your arms to stare up into the stars in the nightsky who's currently the witness to the end of your 'relationship' with the boy you've loved your whole life.

"i've considered transferring work. it's not set in stone yet, but i did talked to my boss and he said he'd help me look for an opening if i'm interested."

you think it will be good if you can seek your own independence for once, unable to think of a better time than this one.

and though you can't see yunho, you can tell he's intrigued by how his question squeaks slightly when asking.

"where would you be transferring?"

"japan," you answer, once again facing him. "it's different, but close enough where i don't have to feel like i'm halfway across the world. my boss said i have about two months-ish to make up my mind."

plus, japanese is the only other language you're fluent in. the country a similar but new enough experience and the true testimony to how you'll be, away from the grasp of your parents.

"i see," yunho replies, nodding in understanding; so much to say but at the same time unable to say anything. he wouldn't ever want to hear someone he's close to plans on moving away, but he's almost proud of you for taking that next step.

"feel free to call me up any time if you need help," he adds, a soft smile gracing his features that makes the moment so bittersweet. you wish you have the guts to hate yunho, but you really can't after all he's done for you.

you nod lightly, at the same time allowing yourself to enjoy the breeze and calm silence before letting all your guards down.

"yunho..." you call his name almost timidly, the boy responding that immediate second.

"i'm not asking for an apology or whatever. frankly, it wasn't even my problem, but i'm just saying… your life would be a lot easier if you know how to say sorry for once."

"i'm sorry," you finally tell him, to wide and surprised eyes--unsurprisingly.

"i'm sorry for putting so much pressure and baggage on you. i also should've asked about your feelings from the very beginning. i shouldn't have just... assumed."

yunho knows it's the sincerest form of apology without the need to say a lot. from the nervous timbre to the guilt in your eyes, and even the way you start fiddling with your fingers.

he only snickers, much to your initial mixed reaction until you start warming up to it as well, the low but very real giggle leaving you putting a smile on yunho's face.

"apology accepted," he says.

you allow another giggle before cutting it short and looking at him through your blinking lashes.

"if you guys have went to this extent, then i hope you'll treat her right, jeong yunho."

you leave the night at that, a sting in your chest but you know that soon enough, you'll be relieved of it and you won't even think about him anymore.

it's after sitting down for a few minutes that you get a text from san, the funny coincidence that you were just talking about the transfer with your boss as well.

san: yunho told me

san: it's true you're gonna be leaving for japan?

you honestly can't recall how san even got your number. it must've been something you did drunkenly or he must've asked for it from yunho. but for sure, you did not give it to him willingly.

y/n: he really be snitching, huh

san: so it's true ☹️

you roll your eyes and try preventing even the smallest smirk. you haven't seen the man ever since that day and now is when he decides to reach out again.

y/n: maybe 🤷

san: 😔

san: just when we were starting to get along too

y/n: lol. you'll be fine.

shaking your head, you put your phone down to return to work, thinking to yourself there's no way san's actually serious because you're sure even if you did move halfway across the world, he would barely notice you're gone.

ten minutes of silence from your phone and you're also sure he's given up on the act--when your notification buzzes again.

san: ☹️ thought you weren't gonna run away

y/n: i'm not

y/n: i just want to do something different

san: if you say so

san: you free this evening?

y/n: i get off work in about 3 hours

san: wanna do something? 🙂

y/n: well aren't you a changed man 🙃

san: i thought it was nice the other day and i just figured you might need a distraction

you have to admit the fact you were taken aback a little; in a surprisingly good and touching way that san would care about you so much as to consider the after effect of what have happened.

y/n: if you're up for it 🤷 not like i have anything better after work

san: awesome! i'll see you then 😉

--

it's not everyday that you go waltzing into a guy's place; if at all, actually, because you've ever only graced the presence of the house next door because unlike san, yunho never had the urge to get his own place or be away from the watchful eyes of his parents.

it only takes two knocks in total for the door to come apart with san standing before it, a smile on his face and every body language welcoming.

"that was fast," you comment, walking past him to get inside.

"i was waiting," he says, calm and relaxed. "you took a lot longer than you said you would."

you shrug and plop yourself down on the couch, head snapping his way to reply.

"i had to get out of my work outfit."

he acknowledges it with a nod before seating himself next to you, his phone sitting on the coffee table in front of you gone unnoticed until you see him pick it up.

"what to order?" he scrolls through the delivery app, the same time you quirk a brow.

"stew sounds really good right now," you say.

"soft tofu stew?"

"that's fine. but make it spicy."

you weren't sure what you guys were gonna be doing once you came over, but he had just said to hang out and you thought any form of entertainment was better than none.

"any drinks?" he asks, after placing the order and getting up to walk over to the fridge.

"got any sodas?"

"i got some coke."

"that'll do."

he returns with two bottles, setting it on the table with a smirk stickered on his face, you have to reframe from rolling your eyes.

"what? no alcohol tonight?" he teases, his back falling onto the couch with hands behind his head.

"not in the mood," you reply, straight and simple.

"fair enough," he mumbles.

you let your eyes wander for a few more seconds before asking, "so, what's the plan?"

he gets up to sit straight and look you in the eyes.

"i was thinking a movie, video games, or we can just talk over food."

you hum with straighten lips, nodding and making yourself at home when it's your turn to fall back on the couch.

"anything's fine," you tell him, patting at the material under you and adding, "great couch by the way."

"yeah. it cost a fortune."

"good thing that wasn't a problem," you jab lightheartedly, because you always have wondered what the hell san does all day, besides the very obvious fact that he lives off the wealth of his parents and doesn't have to worry about anything when it comes to money... at least.

"i know what you're thinking," he says, not reactive of any kind.

"no but seriously, what do you do all day?" you ask, genuinely curious and interested this time.

he just quirks his lips, responding in the most lax tone, "enjoying life and doing what anyone in their 20s would?"

you scoff and shake your head.

you really do wish to be as untroubled and carefree as san is. the way he deals with and confronts everything as if there isn't a single thing to lose.

“it definitely bothered me at first, but i didn’t see why i should be losing sleep over it. me and yunho are two very different people after all who does our own things. i’m proud of what he’s achieved so far, and he’s always had my back when needed.”

you almost can't help but to have the tiniest respect for him in that regard.

"good to know." you giggle. "but what's the plan after?"

"working on it. but not really in the hurry to rush it or anything."

you nod courtly at that, another sinking thought about how similar, yet different the two of you really are.

growing up, you've never really paid much attention to san, always writing him off as annoying and obnoxious, but when left with no choice but to face him on a deeper level, you can't help but to notice the stark differences despite relating to him more than yunho.

"and you... are you really moving? like forreal?" he says, tone a soft worried that you almost want to believe he would be sad about you leaving... being this adamant and all.

"yeah," you answer, the disappointment befalling his expression completely flying over your radar. "forreal."

"but why?" he pushes.

you shrug, everything about you relaxed--as opposed to the boy standing across as he tries to digest the very big possibility of you going away, and most likely for a long time.

"i told you i wanted to travel."

"that's moving to a whole different country," he states the obvious, much to a laughter from you as the uneasiness on him only becomes more transparent.

you laugh some more, going on to say, "don't tell me you're actually gonna be sad?" your lips forming a frown after to tease him, and for the very first time, you think san might've blushed a little.

he opens his mouth as you watch curiously, but the moment shortly disrupted by the sound of san's phone going off.

"delivery will be here in 10 minutes," he tells you still holding the device in his hand before he tosses it aside.

"i also just want to try being on my own for a while," you bring the topic back into discussion when it seems like he isn't gonna answer the question.

you add, "if i do get moved, it will be on my own accord and everything will be from my own pockets... not my parents or anyone else. boss said i have about two months and i most likely will have to train the replacement but i think it's all gonna be worth it."

you're unable to read into san's reaction, silence filling the air until he finally speaks again.

"if you want to learn to be on your own, why don't you just get a place first? you know, instead of moving across the country. as someone in the current position, it's pretty nice if i say so myself."

your lips draw into a thin line, not because he's wrong but because you've never actually thought of that. you pretty much did just jumped ship into the next big step.

"i've uh... i didn't think of that," you mumble, the words cracking a smile on san's face before a snicker rolls out.

"jesus, y/n. a bit dramatic aren't you?"

"shut up," you hiss.

as the night goes on, any doubts and worries are long forgotten when the chatters with san would go on even after the food's arrival, both chewing and talking at the same time like you're never gonna run out of topics.

the eating soon turns into a search for something to watch while the two of you squabble about anything and everything, forgetting what the hell you're even fighting him about and being surprised you could even get this worked up without the help of alcohol.

and after you're both finally worn out from the long night; the foods on the coffee table now empty and dry and the tv running for far too long, you help clean the place up when it seems he's fallen asleep and quietly make your way out of the condo shortly after.

tuesday 4:32 p.m.

san: how about this one? looks really nice and is kind of close to my place 🙂

san: *attachment*

y/n: that looks way too fancy and expensive

y/n: i just want something that's enough for one person

it's impressive; the fact san even entertained the idea of leaving everything you've already got in mind to settle for something else, but even more so that you're even considering it.

getting a place of your own and learning to live on yourself would be a lot more doable than moving across the sea and away from everyone and everything you've grown up with.

you suppose it's not a bad idea. you're just not sure if it's the right one.

san: you're not gonna find anything if you're gonna be this picky 🙄

y/n: i'm just looking

y/n: if i'm really gonna stay, i'd do the search myself

san: 😢

you don't even realize how san starts weaving into your daily life and just integrating himself into it; whether through small, mindless texts, or bigger ones like actually inviting you out or over to his place (more frequently, at least).

wednesday 1:20 p.m.

san: what time do you finish work today

y/n: i always finish at 6

san: wanna come over? i got a game we can play 🙂

y/n: it better not that stupid truth or dare

san: ☹️

san: it's not

san: it's truth or dare spin the bottle

y/n: 🥱

san won't admit how fast he came at the sound of the first knock, and you also won't admit that despite him looking very much the same, there's something different about him lately.

something you can't pinpoint but it's almost as if he's gotten more attractive somehow even though you've never really cared about any of that.

"did you wear that to work?" he comments on your outfit as you make way past him and settling inside.

"yes," you answer dryly, tone soon overturning. "what? you think i was gonna get pretty?" you smirk.

he shrugs, mumbling a "maybe" that you quietly let pass to take off your shoes.

"wanna see a few places i've looked up?" he beams, going over to the laptop that was on the kitchen counter and running over to you on the couch with it.

"why not," you mumble, scooting closer, shoulder bumping into his nonchalantly.

you watch him scroll through the abundance of luxurious condos alike his, opting to raise your brow and turn to him.

"why are they all high-profile and in gangnam?" you question.

"pfft," he scoffs, facing you head on, standing the closest he's ever been to you in a long while and remarking, "it's not like you can't afford it. come on, y/n."

"i can't." you move away from him. "if i even get a place, it's gonna be with my own savings, not my parents. i definitely can't afford a place like these. can we please look at something a little less flashy?"

he shakes his head and eventually changes the area, but an hour into the search and you're still not satisfied. the prices are either not doable or the layouts and amenities aren't to your heart's content.

"let's continue this another day," you sigh out, throwing your head back and groaning as san chuckles.

"fine," he gives in, shutting the laptop and moving it out of sight. "you're so picky."

"well you got to be. i'm sure you didn't pick this place out in a day," you say at the same time you look around.

on your own, there's no way you'd ever be able to get anything like this.

"and you don't think it's nice?"

"are you kidding?" you say in disbelief. "it's amazing. if i had the money, it might as well be my dream place. but it's okay. i can also settle for much less as long as it accommodates all my needs."

san can't help but laugh, because he thinks you're both the snazziest person he's ever met, but also the most tame, it's a bit uncharacteristic of someone who grew up wealthy all her life.

"fair enough," he says, standing up abruptly to go grab at an empty beer bottle also on the counter which you're sure he most likely prepared for, given his next set of words.

"how about spin the bottle but no dares. we can only ask questions and the person has to answer truthfully." he places it on the coffee table.

you snap to him at that with something uneasy in your eyes, prompting a comment from him.

"you scared?" he tease.

"what? no," you blow.

"then what are we waiting for?" san doesn't hesitate with one of his hands already on the bottle but you have to stop him in the process to ask one more question.

"what kind of questions though?"

it takes him maybe a second for a light smirk to crawl out of him and with a shrug, telling you, "any."

you eye the bottle on the table anxiously as it circles and clinks; not afraid of the idea of the game but more so that you're playing with san and he's gonna ask the wildest shit.

fortunately, san shoots himself in the foot.

"oh fuck, it's me."

it's your turn to smirk, letting out an almost sarcastic, "yeah."

"knock yourself out. i'm an open book."

you roll your eyes because you know he is, which is why trying to come up with something that will even faze him is gonna be a challenge.

"most embarrassing thing you have done at a party?"

he scoffs it off in amusement, like he can't believe you're even asking that.

"i thought you could do worse, y/n. but sure."

he hesitates and hums for a few seconds more before answering, "got high as fuck and almost kissed wooyoung."

a dry snicker actually escapes from your lips at the confession.

"yeah i always suspected you guys had a thing for each other."

"please don't," he says in pure disgust. "i love wooyoung forreal but no amount of high can get me to kiss the man."

you laugh, now actually the one to initiate the spin because you think it can turn out fun. you think.

and thankfully, it's not you that have to answer a question, again.

"wow," san only silently curses the double misfortunate.

"how many people have you slept with?" you blurt, bold and straightforward, san even slightly taken aback.

"don't ask questions that will break your heart."

"tsk." you roll your eyes. "you could sleep with the entire population of earth and i wouldn't give a shit."

"not even the tiniest bit?" he plays on in that voice you hate because it's always when he's trying to flirt with you.

"i'd give the tiniest shit about everyone else because poor them."

"sharp," he retracts, the amusement all over his face. "but to answer your question, maybe eight? ten? to be honest, i've lost count."

"good to know," you reply nonchalantly, nodding for him to spin the bottle this time, but you know it's only so long before your luck eventually runs out, and so it does.

"ha," he says in victory, the top of the bottle pointing at you.

"i'll go easy, don't worry just yet," he teases annoyingly, you almost want to knock your foot into his.

"what did you think of me when we first met?"

you quirk your lips and pretend to think although you already know the answer.

"well, i thought you were gonna be sweet, but that was until i got to actually know you. then you were just annoying and a pervert."

he bursts out in genuine laughter and yeah, you think he's cute and endearing like this but 95% of the time, he's getting on your nerves.

the game continues on with a back and forth of innocent enough questions; just laughing and scoffing off the ridiculousness, and you're starting to think he might spare you, until the next one turns your eyes a dark one.

"what is it about yunho that made you like him so much?"

and again, you've already stated so many times why you like him. his kindness. his attitude. the way he presents himself. the way he treats you. but if you have to pick one.

"it just seems as if he accepted me for who i am. i don't know."

the way the atmosphere shifts is scary; both of the smiles on your lips wiped and replaced by unreadable expressions as san quiets without a reply, you have to be the one to speak again.

"and you... w-why are you helping me?" you ask him.

"huh?" he repeats just so there's no mistake.

"we don't even like each other and i pretty much treat you like shit but you still seem rather concerned about my wellbeing for whatever reason."

it has gotten so silent by now, you can hear san swallowing.

"you're the one who always says you don't like me. i never said i don't like you."

it's your turn to swallow, staring back at him with nervous eyes because you're not sure how to take the statement just now or what exactly he really means.

"i just thought the feeling was mutual," you mumble, shrugging lightly.

"no. i think you just didn't care enough to ask me," he says with a dry chuckle because he's right and even you know it. your mind at the time too occupied with his brother instead.

"so like, you really don't want me to leave?" you take the opportunity to tease him, a tone on you almost unrecognizable that you think even made san a bit nervous and shy.

"you could say that," he talks lowly, on the verge of stuttering. "i've known you almost my whole life."

"and if i did?" you ask, voice turning a more serious one as the words make an etch in san's heart. it hurts to even think of the possibility.

"then i would be really upset."

you watch his eyes and lips go soft, something so genuine and sincere in his response that makes you just freeze up before breaking the tension with a forced snicker.

"you still have some time to change my mind," you encourage, because you wish for there to be bigger reasons to stay so you won't regret the could of, even if san has to be that reason.

some might call it healing, some might call it a rebound if that even applies at all, but san successfully weaves himself into your life like a routine that you're no longer fazed by a morning text or even a goodnight one.

the way he'd just check up on you during work or call during the weekends to ask how you're doing and if you're up for something together.

it's a bit pathetic he's pretty much your only friend (and even that's a reach) at this point, but you genuinely enjoy his company.

he listens well, is fun to be around, and is almost like a life-long friend who's been missing your whole life.

but while those are the ups of being with san, there's also the downs--such as the long list of girls that'd constantly ring his phone or send him a text while the two of you are together, and while that isn't any of your business, that doesn't stop the few doubts that manages to plague your mind.

are you interrupting anything? does it make you a bitch for hanging with him when he has other girls lined up? does all of this even mean anything when you could very much just be one of them?

that maybe even if there's a possibility, you could never fully give and commit yourself to someone like san because it doesn't seem like he's ready to settle for anyone.

he haven't ever had a relationship that lasted more than a few months and you haven't ever known him to have less than two option on the table.

which might be why you were so much more attracted to yunho, because in comparison, yunho seemed like he would give away his heart and soul for just you.

but you know that, though. you knew that's how san is. you shouldn't have expected anything else, but you still can't help but to feel a strange, unfamiliar sense of loathing when he's distracted by another girl.

"i talked to the landlord a few days ago and she said if i wanted to see the apartment for myself, she would be more than happy to show me," you tell san over a late night eat out; the restaurant about to close in an hour but you're sure he's not listening because his head snaps to the text he got just now.

he still attempts to sound like it's the current topic holding his attention, which you have to give him credits for.

"that's good," he shortly says, fingers fast to type something on his phone before pushing it away. "so how many more days left again?"

"about two weeks, give or take," you respond, poking at your fries with the fork.

two weeks before you'll have to make the ultimate choice to leave or stay.

it's been that long, time just flying before your very eyes to the point where yunho's presence lingering around the house for the sole purpose of your sister almost no longer does an effect to you.

"wow. already?"

"yeah."

san offers to pay for the meal and drive you home instead of the usual catching a movie at his place before the actual end of the night and it's not like you're gonna fight him on it.

he's not your boyfriend and he definitely doesn't have any obligations to follow through any routines or whatever, so why are you all of a sudden feeling so tense about it?

tense and bitter about the fact that after he drives you home, there's a likely chance there's gonna be another girl at his place.

you think you're losing it.

you had let yourself indulge more and more into the possibility of staying, which was how you found the place that you could practically call ideal.

though it's only one bedroom, the modern but warm-toned style of the complex as a whole, as well as the location and pretty much everything else is convenient and accommodates all your needs.

when you had finally set a time and meeting with the landlord, you fell in love even harder in person because the second she opened the door to the place, it was like you knew this is it.

you think it can work out. you think you can see a future in this place; in this city still. and you have been much brighter and happier lately, even telling your boss the following day that there's a big chance you're gonna change your mind about the move given time is creeping up.

you had sent a text to san so excited because you want to tell him in person, every day the chance of you actually staying increasing by the second and he had told you he'd be available tomorrow night.

despite the conflicts swirling in your stomach a week ago, san had made up for it by being attentive as usual and making you feel like he really cares about you that the occasional rings and texts not from you were starting to become bearable.

after all, what does he owe you?

you're content with just having someone to talk and share your day with. you think you can live with that.

but you didn't expect nor think that all it'd take for the doubts to settle in again is to actually face the reality of your situation, making your way to san's place as promised and seeing a familiar face on the way in.

long hair and with a frame you've definitely seen before, it's hard to ignore the sensation she manages to conjure by just merely passing you.

“why don’t you ask the one person that would actually know where he is? or are you too good for that, too?”

you squint, confused, until he nods his head another direction and you follow, landing right into the view of the kitchen and to someone you know all too well just from the back.

his hands on some poor girl’s waist and lips running along with hers as her grip tightened at his disheveled hair, his body pressing her forward onto the counter, the both of them making out like there won’t be a tomorrow.

“no thanks,” you dismiss, managing to reframe from an eyeroll, pushing past hongjoong but not before you catch the smirk on him.

it wasn't the first time you saw her with san, because if it was, your body wouldn't have recognized her so easily as if she's a threat, replacing all the excitement and hope with nothing but old and plain insecurities.

then it's as if everything was a mistake.

choosing to stay because of san and with nothing but the hope that it will all work out... instead of going away on your own for some time and learning to really be independent.

your whole life, you've already been nothing but emotionally dependent on someone else, looking to them as a source of support, and you've realized that this time, it isn't any different.

you've just moved from yunho to san... and you didn't even like san for the longest time.

so how long before it will hit you that staying was a mistake; and especially that choosing to stay because of san was gonna be the biggest one of them all.

you have the tendency to catch feelings way too fast, and even if not romantic which you won't admit in this case (even if it might be), you react strongly to it and the feeling is consuming.

because how long before san will leave you the way yunho did?

everything may seem good for now but they will all meet the same ending. and to think of everything in perspective this way, you know you're not meant to stay.

your parents, yunho and your sister, san...

you don't feel ready for any of them currently, your life stuck at a point where you're not moving. and so you just turn back around and head home.

you think long and hard just to be sure this is what you want; then you think of how to tell your boss tomorrow, and about an hour later, you finally get a text from san.

san: you still coming? you said you have something to tell me

y/n: something came up sorry

y/n: i was just gonna tell you that i've made up my mind and i think i'm gonna go to japan

next // series m.list

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[electricbluebutterflies]

Oooh and “relax, I won’t hurt you” for Frank and Karen!

Post-idk-what / vaguely-canon-divergent, PG-ish, also on ao3.

Not again.

Karen has, in fairness, a tolerance for weird shit that would surprise just about anybody who walked past her, and while it is never a good sign that she’s pretty sure she’s not alone in her apartment, the feeling in the back of her spine is calmer than it should be under these circumstances, like-

“Relax, I won’t hurt you.”

Really.

She decides, for the moment, for the sake of whatever sanity she’s got left, to ignore the elephant in the room. Turn on the lights, kick off her shoes, put her bag down on the counter, consider whether she feels like opening a bottle of wine, consider-

“If you broke my window-“

“You know I wouldn’t.”

There’s something she shouldn’t like so much about these encounters, she thinks. The steadiness of Frank’s voice suggests he’s not here because her apartment is once again a convenient place to try to bleed out, which means he either wants something or she’s pissed off the wrong person again and hasn’t quite figured it out and honestly she’s not sure which of those options she’s hoping for and-

“You better have a good reason for-“

“Always do.”

She believes him. Isn’t that where their problems always seem to be? If something makes him pop up in her life, well… always better not to ask questions, not until someone starts shooting at her anyways, but easier to just go with it. To trust, to the extent that she can trust anyone these days, that he actually does mean well.

“Are you going to tell me what that reason is, or do I get to find out when it’s all over my phone?”

“Yu aways assume the worst.”

“I’ve known you long enough for that to be fair.”

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments too long, just stays where he’s been for god-knows-how-long against a doorframe and if any other man she’s ever let int this space – not that “let in” is an accurate description but details – was that close to her bed she’d wonder what they wanted but this one-

“Karen-“

“Am I in danger, or are you?”

“Would you believe me if I say I’m not sure yet?”

So, probably both of them, for reasons currently unconnected but they will be by the time whatever the hell this is blows over…

“So what’s the plan?”

“Not the first night I’ve spent on your couch…”

None of which were remotely her idea, she’d say if she wanted to pick a fight, but none of which ended up unwanted either. He’s at least a respectful houseguest, on the occasions he’s not bleeding – doesn’t break anything, doesn’t actually sleep for more than twenty minutes in a stretch from what she can tell but stays quiet enough that she does – and she gets the protectiveness of it, the fact that he is here right now in her apartment because this is what he values most in the world, because she is what he values most in the world and someday she’s going to accept that for what it is and someday-

Not today, Karen thinks. Not for a long while yet.

She’d been thinking about a bottle of cheap white wine and she pulls it out, two glasses even though she’s not entirely sure if-

“Not an immediate threat?”

“Not sure.”

“Join me?”

This might be a bad idea. If it’s going to be a long night… but on the other hand there’s no harm in taking the edge ff, and if anything were clear enough to worry she wouldn’t but-

They got comfortable with each other, she thinks as he takes the wineglass from her hands, fingertips brushing for a heartbeat. She ought to be more annoyed by the situation than she is, but there’s just something about them now where she can’t be, she can’t-

“You’re safe,” he murmurs.

“I know.”

This is why there’s a bag in her closet that she won’t open even though she knows he wouldn’t mind if she got curious enough. This is why people she’s never met wouldn’t ever dream of touching her. Because enough of them know what she does sometimes in the dark, just enough of them know, and-

She wonders sometimes if anyone would believe how innocent they really are. She wonders if anyone would believe it if that ever changes.

“Are you alright?” she asks after one of those silences where time doesn’t mean anything, after most of a glass of wine and she’s half tempted to have another, tempted to do a lot of things, tempted to-

“Safer not to be alone tonight.”

She hears what he doesn’t say, that this is more abut him than he’s letting on, that the things in his mind that make him what he is aren’t safe right now and somehow that always seems to bring him here, to her, because she’s the one good thing left and that should scare her so much more than it does and-

“I should get you a key.”

“Already have one.”

“Do I want to know?”

“Figured it’d be in your favor if the building manager thinks you’ve got a boyfriend.”

Well there goes any realistic chance of her actually getting one, she thinks, but it’s not like she’s got time or energy or-

This dynamic they have fills those spaces well enough, she realizes. She should’ve seen that sooner, but she does now. They aren’t like that, but they might as well be for all the places they end up anyways.

“And what exactly did you say?”

“Nothing that wasn’t true.”

“You managed to get a key without me knowing, I’m not sure how-“

“I worry abut you, and maybe it’s a little early for that step but I’ll sleep better if I can know you’re safe.”

“And they believed that.” Not as much of a question as it should be.

“Anybody who’s met you would believe it.”

Met, yes; actually gotten to know, probably not, but-

If anyone ese did this to her, Karen thinks, she would seriously consider how she feels about murder. But it’s different here. With this person. With how strange they aways are.

“You’ll need a cover story for why you’re usually wounded when you come over,” she murmurs, almost a laugh.

“Bad luck won’t do?”

“Bad luck doesn’t explain why I have a whole kit for removing bullets.”

“You’ve got steadier hands. Never meant more than that.”

She’s still seen him do it himself, and some of that is honestly impressive, but-

“At least you always look better when you leave. I have enough red flags without getting mistaken for an abusive girlfriend.”

“So you’re alright with-“

“I’ve pretended to be your wife as part of some of your… projects. This is nothing.”

But it isn’t, Karen thinks as she decides she is definitely going to need a second glass of wine to get through this. It’s formal like they’ve never been before, and maybe it means something, maybe the eternal disaster of them might not be as permanent as she’d thought that day she realized she trusted him more than anyone else in the world and-

“Should’ve asked. See that now.”

“I’m not asking for an apology. We’re not like that.”

And he’s saved her life enough times, she thinks but doesn’t say, that it shouldn’t matter if he does something a little questionable to make that routine easier. She trusts that absolute loyalty, even if she isn’t sure how it works, and-

“Still should’ve-“

“Do I look mad at you, Frank?”

He’s quiet for a few heartbeats too long, then-

“Don’t know that you’ve ever been.”

He’s right, and she hates it.

He’s right, and they’ve had a few years to get this far, and somewhere in that mess Karen realized this might actually be the rest of her little life and she might actually like it and-

“Are you trying for a first time?”

He gives her a look that she’d describe as playful if that word didn’t fit him so wrong, like does she even know what kind of double entendre she just said, like-

“No. I like you on my side.”

They stand in silence for a while and this is as normal as her life ever gets, these moments of reclaimed peace in the most unlikely circumstances and-

“If you’re going to be my fake boyfriend, you should probably not ghost me for weeks on end.”

“Didn’t tell anyone the relationship was functional,” he counters, almost a laugh.

“Functional enough you have a key looks like you abandoning me is wrong.”

“You’d make someone happy. Moment you do…”

Screw this, she thinks, leaning in to kiss the side of his face. It’s a heartbeat, a feather, a beginning, the most reckless thing she’s done in a life full of those kind of choices and-

“What if I already do?”

“Could still do better.”

“And if I don’t care?”

He turns his head and puts his lips on hers and she’s had enough first kisses over the years to know what a good one is like and this one is good, this one is potential, this one is-

“You have a way of crawling under a person’s skin and making a home there.”

“And do you mind?”

“Not for a moment.”

{Technically, nothing re happens that night. Except for the part where she doesn’t sleep alone. Except for the part where she wakes up warm, and she’s used to him letting himself out around sunrise but this time he stays, this time…}

{This time, she wakes up first and kisses his eyelids and this is what it’s like to begin again.}

[pink-ninja]

I'm on a Ninjago ranting spree lately and really hot take but Koko isn't really too much better of a mother than Misako was and I'm tired of pretending she was

(not proofread btw, I wrote this in the middle of the night so there may be some grammatical mistakes)

So many people hate on Misako for abandoning Lloyd at darkleys and like yeah deserved. Koko is NOT that much better of a mother and I had a whole rant about this with my friend a few weeks ago.

So first of all let's start with the beginning of the movie, Lloyd wants to skip school, stay at home, not feel miserable on his birthday. And Koko tells him those are the best years of his life etc. and knowing Lloyds character he probably does keep it a secret of just how badly he's being treated but as Garmadon said "Look who's the absentee parent now" Koko had to have known to some extent Lloyd wasn't being treated well, she told him he just has to let people see the real him, when he comes home late and Koko is calling someone they ask her if he's turned evil and joined his father etc. Garmadon said she wantsd a normal life for Lloyd. Yet she also kept the last name Garmadon for Lloyd. She told garmadon she always told Lloyd he shouldn't be ashamed of who his father is, when his father was basically a terrorist, "boo Lloyd" became a top hit, people played in on the radio, Koko HAD to have heard it at least once. The real question is if she wanted a normal life for Lloyd why not give him her maiden name instead of Garmadon's name, she could've told Lloyd who his father is when he was old enough to understand, it could've been Lloyd's choice if people knew or not. Yet she basically stuck a label on Lloyd that would follow him his entire life they Lloyd was related to the guy that attacks the city multiple times a week.

Yes, Koko is super sweet and caring towards Lloyd, yes she cares for him, but that doesn't make her an amazing mother compared to Misako. There was so much Koko could've done in my opinion that would've spared Lloyd from being treated so terribly by pretty much everyone in Ninjago, again, given Lloyd her maiden name, heck she could've just let Lloyd stay home from school on his birthday, I don't think that was an unreasonable request from Lloyd. Also maybe not pushed him to see Garmadon in a good light, When the whole city hates Lloyd just because of Garmadon. I know it's a movie plot point but if Koko really didn't want Lloyd being ashamed of who his father is she could've told him the story of how she and Garmadon met. I think that would've given Lloyd some extra much needed closure instead of my father couldn't care less. In my opinion Koko more of put on something similar to rose colored glasses, she was super oblivious to just how much Lloyd was struggling until it was too late.

And I know misako isn't perfect again, but Misako also has her moments, she's more transparent with Lloyd the dynamic is also different in the show rather than the movie so I think after the first time Misako knows Lloyd is 1. Not a little kid anymore and 2. Has people (the ninja and Wu) that'll be there for him since the ninja are shown to have way stronger of a family bond in the show rather than them just being close friends in the movie.

[musicalmoritz]

terukane headcanons? (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠;

I’ve been waiting to answer this one all day, I needed to give it all my brain power

• They met when Akane joined the Student Council in his first year of high school, meaning they haven’t known each other too long

• They were aware of each other before that, of course. Teru knows everybody, especially the Seven Mysteries. And it’s impossible NOT to know who Teru Minamoto is

• They actually met in passing before Akane joined the Student Council but Teru was in a rush so he brushed him off, with little concern for his manners since Akane is a Mystery. This gave Akane a pretty sour impression of Teru to begin with

• Their first proper encounter was rather hostile. As soon as Fuji was out of the Student Council room, Teru drew his sword and tied Akane up. He confronted him about his stance as a Clock Keeper and revealed himself as an exorcist. They agreed to work together so long as they kept an eye on each other, and neither of them broke the other’s trust. Another poor impression

• While Akane “hates” Teru, Teru doesn’t hate Akane. He wants to be his friend but he has no concept of social norms so he goes about it all wrong. There’s also the element of him hating supernaturals AND being a sadist so ofc when he has a supernatural on hand it’s easy for him to relieve stress via bullying and torture…somebody save Akane

• But Akane is really good at reading people, so he doesn’t hold it against Teru as much as he claims to. He recognizes that he is the only person Teru gets to be completely himself around, the good and the bad with no facade. So he complains, but he puts up with it

• We’re making this a mutual au because as we all know, one-sided ships are the only thing I’m too emotionally mature for

• Teru has liked Akane ever since he met him, although he repressed it. A cute boy with brown-blue eyes and auburn hair…then he turns out to be someone Teru can be completely comfortable around…an exception to his cruel lifestyle…someone he can trust…someone who puts up with all his worst flaws…it would be weird if he didn’t fall for him, tho Teru’s classic internalized homophobia won’t let him see it that way

• Akane’s moment was chapter 79. He’s pretty smart when it comes to love so he didn’t panic about it, but it did confuse him. He also felt guilty for it, he thought the only person he could fall for was Aoi. Falling for Teru felt like a betrayal to her, so he put those feelings on the back burner. He had to figure out what was going to happen with him and Aoi before he thought about Teru (let’s just say Aoi wasn’t ready for a relationship or smth, I don’t want to completely write her out I’ll put her in therapy instead)

• Before he got resolution with Aoi tho he had to get payback for all the torment Teru put him through. Duh. So he starts flirting with him when Teru least expects it. It’s funny to watch the way his brain short-circuits when he’s flattered by someone he’s actually interested in. He gets a good few laughs out of it but once Teru realizes what’s going on he adapts and starts flirting back. They’re both good at catching each other off-guard tho, making each other flustered is simply another part of their rivalry

• They both knew the other liked them long before they actually got together. They had multiple conversations about it but they both had their own hesitations. Teru was the last one to give in because once Akane realizes he wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to get it

• Their first kiss was very spontaneous and unconventional, it probably happened in the middle of a supermarket or smth. Fans tend to write it as a quiet, personal moment but nah, I think they both romanticized the hell out of something that was objectively awkward

• When Teru gets comfortable with his sexuality, there is no stopping him from the PDA. He makes a big scene out of greeting Akane every morning at school, and clings to him whenever Student Council meetings get boring. It’s partially to annoy him but he’s also Just That Clingy. Everyone knows they’re dating and while some students have a problem with it, Teru learns not to care

• They go on lots of “childish” dates so Teru can experience all the childhood things he missed out on. Playgrounds, arcades, amusement parks, Build-A-Bear, you name it. Remember when Kou took Mitsuba to a sandbox?? Yeah that’s an ideal date for Terukane. Though Akane doesn’t get as much out of it, he still enjoys himself. As long as he’s with Teru he doesn’t really care what he’s doing

• They plan their future together a lot so Akane can lecture Teru about retiring from exorcism. It’s an ongoing argument between them, but not in like an aggressive way. Teru knows that Akane just wants him to be happy, but he’s unwilling to open himself up to happiness

• Tiara calls them Mama and Papa. Teru is the mama (I am absolutely not trying to call him the girl in their relationship or feminize him, this is just a silly little joke pls don’t cancel me they’re both on the same level of masculinity; Teru just has big Mom Friend vibes to me)

• Most people were surprised when they got together because everyone assumed they hated each other (except Kou, who Teru told before they were official)

• They become a package deal, whenever one of them is alone someone will ask where the other is at

• My brain is too fried to continue but uhhhh yeah, they kiss

Hope you enjoyed these!! Thank you for the ask, I had fun making this <3

[mightbmel]

Thinking about the Karakura gang finding out you have a crush

At first, they probably wouldn’t think too much of it. At least someone like Ichigo wouldn’t. They’re used to your crushes of the week, listening to you talk about the cutest guy you just met, or the prettiest girl you talked to the other day, often thinking nothing of your rambles as they found it amusing at the start of the day, usually right before class as you all sat together. But you never went far with any of them and that’s what they were used to, some like Uryu and Ichigo never taking your crushes too seriously.

But a few start to finally take notice as they see your shift in behavior. Specifically, Orihime. She notices you ramble less about the hot hunk you met during math class, deciding to spend time with your “friend” outside of hangouts with the group. Even finding you two having a date, which you denied, saying you two were just “hanging out”, but as airheaded as she can be, she wasn’t that oblivious. She could see it right away and start to connect the dots, realizing how often you and them would hang out together outside of school, often alone one on one. And of course being Orihime she was over the moon about this.

She’s not a snitch though! She goes to you, the source, first of course, asking you about your friend, how much time you two spend and the things you guys do together, and she notices how much you talk about them once you open up, talking in an almost never ending stream about them in such an enthusiastic and flustered manner, as that’s all she needed to know to see what you two were even if your constant compliments and deep comments about them said it all. After Orihime is done fangirling over the whole thing, she apologies, feeling like she might’ve been too nosy or intrusive, wondering if she asked too many questions, but she feels relief as you let her know you don’t mind telling her the tea. That’s why you two are best friends after all! But regardless, she too lets you know you can come to her about whatever you’re feeling and going through.

Ichigo, the strawberry, wouldn’t really try to look to deep into it at first. As someone who often was mistaken for dating friends, like the time Keigo thought he was dating Rukia, he didn’t want to jump to conclusions and assume you were with this person as he knew how it felt first hand to get accused of things like that from the jump. That, and he was so busy in his own world, both mentally and physically, dealing with hollows and his own inner demons that the sight of you hanging out with this friend of yours would fly right past his head and under his radar.

But the more Orihime pointed out how you’ve been looking happier, and hanging out less with them, his mind dwelled on those thoughts and realized you probably had a thing for this person. Thankfully, Ichigo didn’t make too much of a big deal out of it. Although he was happy for you, even if he didn’t outright say it. But the smile you had on your face everytime you’d talk about this person made it worth listening to, as he pat you on the back with a smirk.

Uryu, on the other hand, wouldn’t care too much about this, in fact, he already knew! Nobody told him, but being your friend since your first years of high school, it was pretty obvious to him what this person meant to you. Being observant he took notice himself about how you would join their plans less often to hang out with this person, how you’d gleam with light and energy whenever you mentioned them, or the way your body would perk up with interest and a flustered face when they were named dropped by Ichigo. Uryu straight up goes to you and just says “I know” when you confess how you feel about this person to him. You’re a little surprised wondering how he already knows, but he just pushes his glasses to the bridge of his nose, smiling with amusement at how oblivious your feelings were.

Lastly, Chad, the gentle giant who’s pretty quiet and keeps to himself, usually sticking around Orihime, Ichigo and Uryu, those he already knows, going out of his way to protect those around him. Chad being Chad though, he doesn’t say too much about it either. Not to anyone else at least. He’ll listen into conversations as Orihime talks about how you’ve been acting with this new friend lately, taking mental note of it along with how flustered you get anytime Ichigo teases you and pokes fun at you for how red your face gets. He doesn’t say a lot about this obvious thing you got for your “friend”, but he definitely observes quietly, in his own way, finding it cute how you act. Regardless though, as your friend, he’s happy for you, and is always there to lend an ear or give you whatever advice he has as you walk side by side, taking in everything you say as you enthusiastically rant beside him with deep hums and nods, as you swear you could see the slightest smile form on his face.

[torio12539]

Meant to be yours - chapter 3 // Hazel Callahan x reader

Series summary: You are a part of the most popular clique in school, though you don't feel like you fit in well with them and it all goes downhill once you get to know the new girl at your school

A/n: the series is based mostly on the 1989 film "Heathers" and a little bit on the 2010 musical adaptation, reader is based on Veronica Sawyer, some characters might be a bit ooc, I tried my best to minimize that though. This series may contain some things that may disturb some people, I further elaborate in the warnings. Also keep in mind that I'm not native in English so there might be some grammatical errors or typos I didn't notice. Also if you'd like to be tagged when new chapters come out let me know, I'll make a taglist.

Series warnings: Depictions of violence, murder, mentions of suicide, bombs, bullying, and sexual harassment. This warnings weren't written in any particular order.

Chapter summary: after you make one bad decision and accidentally kill Isabel you make another one and decide to forge a suicide note, in fear of being caught for killing her. A few days later you decide to accompany Stella Rebecca so she won't be alone with Jeff and Tim, only to discover the horrible rumors getting spread about you to the whole school.

Chapter warnings: mentions of suicide, mentions of murder, sexual harassment, bullying.

[prologue] [part 1] [part 2]

'Fuck, fuck, fuck' I didn't intend for the prank we planned to kill Isabel, and I definitely didn't expect it "What the hell do we do now?!" I asked Hazel completely panicked "I don't know I didn't think she'd die! I was sure we got the other cup." she replied, she seemed shocked too "well we gave her this one, and it doesn't matter she's dead, if we get caught than we get murder charges!" I say "Well, we didn't plan to kill her so at worst the charges will be second degree and not first" "because that's much better" I reply sarcastically, but then I get an idea "you know maybe there's something I can do so we won't get caught" "what do you mean- oh" she says as she realizes I meant "are you sure this will work? Because if it doesn't and we still get caught then that will put us in even bigger trouble" she tells me "relax, it's not like I got caught when I forged all those other notes and documents" I say "if you say so, but make sure it's believable" "I will don't worry"

Ten minutes later and there's a forged suicide note in Isabel's room.

The next day at school was a blurr, so many people who once despised Isabel, thinking her to be a total mythic bitch were now sympathizing and grieving about her, saying 'how wrong they were about her' if only they knew, school ended early that day.

I go to Hazel's house so we can hang out together, watching TV everything in the news was people from school talking about her, we counted Brittany appearing on at least three channels, talking about how close she and Isabel were, fake bitch.

I go to the funeral, I barely listen to what is being said there though, after everyone goes to the corpse to pray I go, all I wanted was high school to be normal, look at me now.

After the funeral Stella comes up to me "[Name] what are you doing tonight?" she asks me "I don't know, probably just gonna stay home, why?" I ask her "Well Jeff invited me to hang out with him, but Tim doesn't have a date, could you join me?" "What? No, you know me and Hazel have something" I reply "Please for a friend?" she asks again, "Fine, just as long as they don't get us completely covered in cow shit again" "I promise they won't"

And that was a lie, they took us to the place with the cows again, pushing them into their own feces and getting me and Stella covered in cow poop, then Tim starts talking his words slurred, harassing me trying to get me to sleep with him, he's clearly drunk, I turn around and leave, but he keeps insisting, I continue walking away and then I hear a voice asking "What the fuck is happening here?!" thank god, Hazel "Oh my god what happened to you [Name]?" she asks "Can we talk about it in your car?" I ask her just wanting to get as far from Tim as possible "Yeah, let's go I'll drive you home"

Next day I'm at the cafeteria eating lunch when Annie pulls me aside "I don't know where you were last night and I usually don't listen to people like Jeff and Tim, but they've been saying stuff about you" she tells me "What are they saying?" I ask, fearing the worst "They claim that you slept with the both of them" I gasp in disbelief "that son of a bitch!" "yeah..." Annie says "ugh, thanks for telling me Annie, I'll find a way to deal with them"

'Oh they're gonna get it'

A/n: another chapter, enjoy teehee. As always I accept constructive criticism as long as you're respectful, and if you wanna be part of the taglist let me know and I'll add you.

Taglist: @freakyelf-ontheshelf

[honey-ink]

Hoarah Loux may have been a part of a Dancing Lion?

So DLC spoilers under the cut of course, but I was once again theorizing with @dan-from-onami about base game and DLX connections- more specifically Hoarah Loux/Godfrey and their origin!

So I think Godfrey/ Hoarah Loux may have come from the land of shadows and might have been a Hornsent without horns as well as a Dancing lion- specifically the back of the dancing lion. This might explain a few things from his children/origin/allies/why Marika casted him away. This might explain why Morgott and Mohg have their horns, but also lose them upon death. This might also explain why if Godwyn was born with fish features, it was also a crucible features without Marika knowing since she's only used to horns, wings and tails.

Now for origin I think Godfrey is a more domesticated version of what Marika wants for a lord, and that's why he wears armor and wields an axe. However, I think in the past as Hoarah Loux he might have escaped Messmers/Marikas genocide and abandoned the front half of the lion or escaped somehow before joining Marika and without her knowing his origins since he doesn't have horns. This would explain why in his boss fight (ESPECIALLY AS HOARAH LOUX) both him and the dancing lion are constantly jumping and using no weapons to attack (probably dried leaf arts? Or another form of art), In the frost phase of the dancing lion the back dancer also uses similar moves like horahfrost stomp (will link videos to compare because they are weirdly similar?). This might also explain why Serosh is actually a lion instead of the typical wolf/canine shadow like Blaidd and Maliketh.

Divine Dancing Lion Boss Fight

Godfrey/ Horah Loux Boss Fight

This probably also explains why the crucible knights were specifically Godfrey's knights/ why he chose them to be his knights, and chances are once Marika found out or at least clued in that Godfrey was probably Horsent was the real reason why she cast him and his men away because she didn't want to risk anything happening to the golden order. That would also explain why in our own character creation we can be any race or class we want, but no matter what we are tarnished because we once worked in allegiance with Godfrey/Hoarah Loux.

@dan-from-onami brought up a good point though because he didn't know how much he could believe Hoarah Loux is a Hornsent in particular because Marika at the first sight of any omen-hood will either murder them or boot them into the sewers- which makes a lot of sense now given her past. That's when I went back into the game and realized that in the intro Hoarah Loux is- like us- waking up from death. and in that cutscene he is chained up and impaled.

I'm also not sure if the Badlands and the Realm of Shadow are different, or if it might just be a situation where sometimes the Realm of Shadow is called the "Badlands" due to it's unwelcoming nature. A bit of a long rant haha but I never realized until now that we only know Godfrey/ Hoarah Loux as First Elden Lord and Chieftain Of The Bad Lands, but we don't really know what those titles entail for him or the rest of his story outside of the Lands Between.

[thewardenisonthecase]

Join Me

Lucanis Dellamorte x Rook (Dawn Thorne)

Read on AO3

Summary: Lucanis needs a bath after arriving from a run in with a Venatori. Unfortunetly, or fortunetly, for him, the bathtub is already being used.

A/N: this is based on the prompt Time for a Bath from the @loveofdragonage 2025 event.

I'm not too crazy about how this turned out but its whatever i guess.

“You could join me. If you want to.” Was all Dawn had said. 

Lucanis had just returned from a meeting with Viago and Teia, and after a run in with the Venatori, he was in need of a bath. 

He didn’t expect, however, that Dawn would already be in use of it. Lucanis had barged into the bathroom without thinking and quickly began to apologize when he realized what he had done, saying he’d return later.

But she only laughed and said those eight words. 

He put his hands on his hips, staring at her, a brow raised. “Do you want me to get in?” 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” 

He chuckled and then sighed. “You do realize we’ve never…seen each other like that, right?” 

Dawn shrugged. “There’s always a first time for everything.” 

That he couldn’t deny. He took a deep breath before turning around, fully closing the door, and started the process of removing his clothes. 

In truth, no one had ever seen Lucanis like this - naked and vulnerable. Before Dawn, he had never even been this close to someone before, at least to someone who wasn’t part of his family. 

It was a strange feeling, to know that in a way, he was exposing himself. But if there was anyone to know him intimately, he was glad it was Dawn. 

“Lucanis, if you take any longer the water is going to run cold.”

He smirked and tsked. “You Wardens are so impatient, all of the time.” He said, as he undid the belt of his pants and let them drop. From behind him, he heard Dawn gasp as he slowly turned around, naked. 

Her eyes widened as she looked at him from head to toe, and Lucanis took a deep breath. 

“You’re…very handsome. I must say.” 

Lucanis smirked and walked towards the tub.

Dawn put a hand up and stopped him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“If I get to see you naked then I guess it's only fair if I…” the sentence died in her mouth as she inhaled a breath and abruptly stood up from the bath, the water dripping from her naked body. 

Lucanis mouth opened in the slightest as he realized he had also never seen Dawn naked before. He had seen the burn scars on her arms and near her chest before, but he had never been aware of how extensive they were. 

She had yet to mention how she acquired them. Lucanis never pressed the issue, but he did wonder what happened. Were they caused by an accident? Had someone done this to her, and if so, who and had they been stabbed yet? 

Regardless, the scars did not distract him from how beautiful Dawn was.

“Maker…” He whispered, and he didn’t know how long he stayed like that - staring, mesmerized, until Dawn cleared her throat. 

“The water’s getting cold.” She extended a hand and he shook his head, before walking towards her and taking it. This close, it was then he realized how red her face looked. 

They slowly submerged into the water, one on each side of the tub. They helped clean the other - Dawn rubbed the soap on his back, on the parts he couldn’t reach, and Lucanis had helped with her hair. Once the two were done, they didn’t immediately leave. 

Dawn shifted around, until her back was on his chest. Due to the position, and her height, her legs were falling off the tub, probably wetting the floor. For a moment, Lucanis hesitated, but then his arms went around her and grabbed her waist and he put his head on her shoulder. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until the water had run completely cold and they inevitably left. But one thing was sure - they would never take a bath alone again.

...

Thanks for reading! If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging it and leaving a comment, they're extremely appreciated!

[tragedybunny]

Fangs and Fairytales - Chapter 2

༺Summary༻

Serafina and Astarion saved Baldur’s Gate - and each other. Now all they want is a nice little adventure together and Astarion to walk in the sun once more. Unfortunately Sera’s patron, Titania, sets herself against the relationship. Can their love survive the ire of the Fey Queen?

In this chapter Serafina and Astarion have a rough start to their life together as both go through their separate struggles.

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Serafina (Female Tav/OC)

༺Rating༻ Mature

༺Warnings༻ Angst

༺Word Count༻ 3058

༺A/N༻ Thanks to @icybluepenguinicybluepenguin for not only being a beta but probably 50% of the reason this story exists.

Read on AO3 All chapter here on Tumblr

“Gods, it’s like being back out in the wilderness again,” Astarion groused, unceremoniously dropping the bedroll onto the stone floor. “Could they have at least tried to find a bed?”

“Astarion, half the city is still in ruins. I’m sure beds for down here will be the very next priority.” Serafina lowered her pack next to their bedroll. 

It wasn’t the sleeping arrangements that bothered him, it was having to move underground into the dark. Astarion still agonized over losing the sun, the hopefulness of the first days without the tadpole twisting back around to bitterness. The Elfsong somehow survived the destruction and they had been welcome there, but with all the activity, it didn’t seem the safest place for Astarion to make sure he avoided the sun. 

They’d been there, examining their options - well Astarion had been rejecting all of them with bitterness - when Aylin and Isobel had turned up. Aylin had laid out their plans and an invitation. They'd all huddled around a table in the Elfsong, the din of a crowd eager for distraction and release surrounding them. 

“We will take that which was once in Shar’s foul grasp and turn it into a beacon of hope in my Mother’s holy name!” 

The silence that had followed her words made clear the puzzlement of those present. 

‘What my love means is that we are taking the complex beneath the House of Grief and turning it into a refugee camp. You all are welcome to stay as long as you like,” Isobel had clarified. 

Only Sera, Gale, Astarion, and Shadowheart remained of their companions. Halsin had already begun his mission to transport refugees to the former Reithwin village, and Jaheira and Minsc were aiding the city from Jaheira’s home where she could ostensibly keep an eye on her adopted brood. Though she had made a habit of checking on them as well, coming at night to make sure Astarion was included. Sera hadn’t failed to notice the way she sought him out, and offered him patience and consolation that he often did his best to turn away. 

Adopting strays was an inescapable habit for her, even when this one was older than her. 

“You really think this is a go-” Astarion began and Sera felt herself tense. He'd been slipping back into bitterness lately, understandably so. But it felt like she was trying to pull him back from a precipice, and she was so, so tired herself.

“That sounds like a splendid solution for the time being.” Gale helpfully interjected. “I'm going to stay a while longer to help out myself before heading back to Waterdeep. I'd be thrilled to join you.”

“I agree with Gale.” Sera quickly added. She wouldn't speak for Astarion but she would let her own thoughts be known. 

There was a long pause before Astarion sighed. “I suppose at the very least I won't have to put up with the annoyance of unruly patrons clinging to one of the few taverns still standing.”

Reaching out, Sera took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Whatever it was that really bothered him about staying somewhere else, she would figure out later, in private, where opening up was less threatening. Sleep already called to her though, her new nocturnal normal still an adjustment in the making, and she hoped that tonight he didn’t let himself give into the pull of those dark thoughts, that he would let her be his comfort, and reassurance. 

It had not gone as smooth as her hopes, Astarion insisting there was nothing bothering him except that he was certain this was going to turn into some “Moon Maiden obsessed cult.”

“Fine,” Sera had finally surrendered, sometime just before dawn. “If you don’t want to tell me what’s really wrong.” 

“First I lose the sun, now you want to drag me underground, deeper into the darkness!” Astarion had exploded, fangs bared in a snarl that left her wide-eyed, shaking, and panting. 

It wasn’t as though she believed that Astarion would ever actually hurt her, but something about the raw ferocity of it stoked an instinctual fear of prey faced with predator. And despite herself, she took a step back. 

“Sera.” His face fell as he reached for her, only to have her flinch at his outstretched hand. 

A long moment passed as they stared at one another in silence, hurts open and raw. Tears gathered in Astarion’s crimson eyes that he stubbornly refused to shed. 

Finally, when her heart ached enough that she felt it would split in two, she stepped towards him, silencing the part of her that wanted to fear, and found herself in his embrace. His arms crushed her to him as they clung to one another, so much passing between them without words. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize what it felt like to you.” Sera was the first to speak, face buried in the soft, red fabric of his shirt. 

They’d purchased it at Carm’s Garms while they’d spent a couple nights prepping to enter the city proper from Wyrm’s Crossing. It may have been the first new garment Astarion had ever picked for himself. The look of hesitant joy on Astarion’s face would stay with her, even if he tried to hide it. 

That had been another rough time, Astarion putting up his walls and pushing her and the rest of their friends away with sharp words and a callous demeanor as Cazador loomed closer than ever.

They had made it through that, and they could make it through this. She just had to push on. 

“It’s not your fault. I know you said we’d find a way, but it just feels like I’m drowning in darkness.” 

Not willing to let go, Sera pulled him down into the bed with her, where they stayed wrapped around one another until sleep took her. 

After that day, Astarion had tried his best to temper himself, to let go of that growing bitterness. Though there were days it still threatened to drag him under, and she fought to keep both their heads above water. 

He did relent and agree that they should move to the House of Grief, the deal sweetened by a guarantee of a room to make their own away from the dorms which would be more communal. At least there he would be free to walk around during the day. 

And here they were, spreading a bedroll out on the floor of the old armory, a proper door leading into the cave that had once been Shadowheart’s sanctuary.

“I suppose we're lucky Shadowheart was feeling generous enough to give up her special cave.”  Astarion’s snark seemed mostly good natured. 

Shadowheart was actually overseeing a dorm of displaced families. She'd been eager to jump right in with them, as though it could heal the scars of losing her own parents. 

Sera kneeled down to straighten the bedroll.

“See, there's upsides to this already. A cave is a very appropriate lair for a vampire.” She looked down to hide a smirk, eager to enjoy the moment of levity.

Without a sound, Astarion was looming over her, arms trapping her between himself and the bedroll she’d been fixing. “So now you're an expert on vampires?” His voice was an exaggerated silken purr more like the Astarion she first met. “Tell me, what other secrets are you privy too?”

He spoke almost directly against her ear, making her shiver. 

“Well, a vampire is not as dangerous a creature as one would think. Really, once you give them a little blood, they're very tame. But they require being complimented on a daily basis or they tend to sulk.”

“Tame, you say?” The purr was lost, and she could hear the smile in his words. “I'll show you tame.” 

He pulled her back toward him until they were both sitting, Sera resting in his lap while he kissed her neck softly. Teeth dragged against her skin, threatening to pierce it. “I think you may have underestimated the danger of a vampire. We only play at being tame, but at any time, we could take what we want.”

Astarion’s fangs waited at her neck, seeking permission to dig into her skin and taste of her. 

Sera flicked her eyes to the door, they'd shut it behind them at least. They still had to set up their space, but there was no rush, they could afford to indulge. Letting herself relax into him, until it felt as though the boundaries of their bodies gave way and they were one being, she tilted her head, exposing a swath of her pale neck to him. 

There was no need for words, they'd learned to speak without them. The familiar sharp, cold pain gave way to the expected ecstasy. The first time, she'd been fascinated and afraid, trusting Astarion for some reason even though she'd barely caught him trying to take a taste of her while she slept. 

That anxiety had made the whole experience more painful. The second time had been far less fraught. 

They'd stumbled into a fight with some goblins over a gnome tied to a windmill; making the acquaintance of one Barcus Wroot. Astarion had a goblin arrow graze his shoulder and was fussing over it by the river bank as they set up camp. 

“Are you alright, Astarion?” Sera had followed him down to the bank as he'd stomped away cursing and complaining. How did she not realize how deep she was already in with the irascible vampire. 

“No,” he snapped. He'd stripped himself naked to the waist, pale skin gleaming like polished moonstone in the setting sun, and irritatedly splashed water at the wound. “The one downside to this parasite is not healing like I normally would. This bloody stings like hell and all for a gnome, of all things!” 

“Maybe Shadowheart should look at it,” she’d offered gently, unsure how to handle this Astarion, angry and lashing out. Usually he was either the flirt or the macabre humored rogue. But that morning when she’d questioned him about how he became a vampire, she’d caught the first real glimpse of something dark and horrible beneath that surface, something she should probably fear. And yet here she was. 

“Oh,” the anger vanished in an instant as he turned toward her. “No need to bother our secretive little cleric. It’s barely a scratch and I’m sure Gale turned his ankle or some other nonsense to keep her busy.” 

With preternaturally graceful steps, he’d come up from the bank to loom over her. “You know what would help though?” His voice was all light sweetness as he smirked down at her. “A little blood to help my natural healing along.” 

A blush started in her cheeks and its warmth spread through her at the memory of his body covering hers and the strange intimacy of the drinking her blood. It took entirely too long for her to respond, and his grin widened. “Right. That uh - makes sense.” 

She’d turned to leave to head back to camp and he caught her arm. “No need to get so close to the others, they still don’t seem too fond of the whole vampire thing, we can do just fine right here.” 

They’d settled in the grass on the river bank, as the fading orange light sparkled across the rushing waters, looking like little flames lurking beneath the surface. Sera wasn’t sure she wouldn’t embarrass herself if he told her to lay on her back again and hastily offered her wrist to him. “That should work just as well.” 

For a moment his face fell, as though offended by the offer, but he accepted without complaint. “As you wish, my sweet.” 

The term of endearment was new and Sera couldn’t help but giggle, it was excessive, and a reminder she shouldn’t get too soft for all those honeyed words of his. She’d seen enough of his kind growing up in the Gate, and some she trusted to the point of pain, both physical and emotional. “You don’t need to persuade me Astarion, I’m already doing it.”

“Ah - yes, well, let’s get on it with it.” 

This time she was prepared, and felt herself relax after the initial bite. It was almost pleasant, hearing the rush of her own blood and the echo of her heartbeat, as Astarion suckled at her wrist and made a small noise of pleasure. Her eyes closed and her head tilted back, the setting sun was still warm on her face. This was peaceful, so little in her life had been peaceful, she could stay here forever. 

“Serafina…” A voice roused her and her eyelids opened sluggishly. 

Astarion held her wrist in his hands still, but the wounds from his fangs were already closing. “Look at the state of you. Let’s get you back to camp and get some food in you, before anyone accuses me of anything.” 

She laughed, feeling woozy and giddy. “But this is your fault. Or should I say I met another vampire down by the river?” It was incredibly dumb and she cringed even as the words left her lips 

Astarion only sighed in response and helped her to her feet, hands encircling her waist in an oddly comforting manner. “I don’t quite think they’ll believe that.” He offered her his arm as they headed back to camp and she found herself loath to let go when she was safely settled by the newly built fire. 

She should have known she was already in far too deep right then. 

Nestled in his arms, she let him drink as much as he wanted, assured he knew when to stop, and trusting he always would. A soft moan inadvertently escaped her and she flushed like so many of those early days. 

Astarion chuckled as he withdrew his fangs. “You certainly do enjoy that,” he teased. 

“The experience has grown on me since that first time.” 

Astarion stiffened at her words, letting go of her waist. “We should probably finish getting settled.” 

Her heart tremored in her chest; it had been one of his better moods of the last couple of weeks, and it was very quickly ebbing away. “Probably,” she relented, not knowing what to say. It felt like she’d tried everything lately, and a familiar weariness settled over her. Time, it was just going to take time. 

Not letting a looming sigh escape her, she leaned over to finish settling the bedroll. 

With what little they had to call their own, arranging it didn’t take long, and a short time later found them lounging near the water in Shadowheart’s once secret spot. The smell of night orchids was almost cloyingly thick as Sera tried to concentrate on the book propped in front of her as she lay on her stomach. 

It was sometime after midnight but not yet near enough dawn for her to sleep if she was going to get used to living nocturnally. A yawn inadvertently slipped from her and the sound of Astarion idly trailing his fingers through the softly moving current stopped

“You can just go to bed, you know. One night hardly makes a difference.” 

He’d moved from where he’d sat originally - further away from her, down by the bank. At first picking at the mushrooms and then fidgeting about in the water, his own book long abandoned. He’d sneak out to hunt, animal or opportunistic criminal, but he didn’t like staying out too long with everyone in the city still jumpy. 

“If you say it every night, it will.” Stretching, she got to her feet, already moving to his side. 

He scoffed at her words and looked back toward the water as she dropped down next to him. 

“What is it?” Despite his prickly mood, she let her head rest on his shoulder, knowing he would rather have her close than not. Under the cloying scent of the night orchids, the familiar sickly sweet essence of the grave clung to his skin. Something different was on his mind than what had been plaguing him the last few weeks. 

“Noth-”

“You’re a shit liar, Astarion.” 

That got a short, sharp laugh from him. “Firsts,” he finally said, quietly. 

“Firsts?” she repeated, lost.

“You mentioned the first time I drank your blood.” He finally looked up but still not at her, gazing at the ceiling of the cavern instead. “It was a disaster. You remember, you had to fight me off you.” He chuckled a bit, but there was something deeply pained in it. 

“It was the first time you’d drank thinking blood. And we didn’t know it could mean something to us.” 

“I ruined it, I ruined all of our firsts. Our first meeting - I held a knife to your throat, our first kiss - a lie to get you to come out into the woods with me, our first night together - part of my ‘nice, simple plan’.” While he was talking, she let her arm wrap around his waist, pulling them as close together as she could. “Sometimes I wish I could have them back, I wish I could actually remember what you looked like walking down that road toward me.” 

She considered his words for a moment, struck by how it all seemed to weigh on him. “But they’re… ours. And perfect or not, they still led us here.” 

“I should have counted on that irritatingly romantic response from you,” he said, without any real malice. 

“It's the only response.” For a moment the weariness at everything slipped through. “We can't go back.”

Astarion hummed thoughtfully and brought his arm up to return her embrace. “Perhaps you're right, love.” Gently, he guided them both to laying back on the ground. 

Sera kissed him softly, brushing her lips to his and then his cheeks and forehead. They'd get through one more night at least. “Of course I'm right, and we still have firsts. For example, this is our first night in a Shar temple without everything trying to kill us.” 

Astarion laughed, real and genuine, fangs gleaming in the flickering light of their lantern. “I'll wait until sunrise to call that official.” His fingers ran gently through her hair and she shut her eyes, basking in his touch “But let's get you to bed, Sera, you look so tired, it worries me.” 

Tag list: @writingmysanity @snowfolly @sunfire-ancunin @vixstarria

@just-a-refrigerator @ladyofcrowsandcoffee @tallymonster @azu21

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate @spacebarbarianweird @cilil @bg3obsessedsideblog

@talented-bitch @claryvoyantfray

[watchandread02]

For the "Holidays with the Winchesters: A very Destiel Christmas Advent Calendar" by @archervale and @wormstacheangel

Day Eleven: Bells

Ao3

Every year one of the Elves gets to fly in the sleigh with Santa and distribute the presents. It’s probably just a coincidence that Cas has been able to do so the last couple of years.

At least that’s what Dean tells himself, as he makes sure everything is ready for him to make his trip around the world in a few minutes.

“Hello Dean.” Cas suddenly says from behind Dean.

“Dammit Cas, warn a guy. One of these days I’m going to put a bell on you.” Dean tells Cas, as he turns around to face him.

“I’m sorry I startled you, that was not my intention. I just wanted to inform you that I will be the one joining you again this year. Donna seems to have gotten a stomach bug and asked me to fill in for her.” Cas says.

Dean frowns for a moment, this is the fifth year in a row this has happened. Ever since Dean took over the mantle as Santa from his father. Normally the elves randomly pick out a name from a head and that one is lucky to ride in the sleigh and distribute presents together with Santa. Maybe Dean is doing something wrong, if none of the other elves want to fly with him. At least Cas seems happy to take the job.

Cas seems to pick up on Dean’s frustration as he asks, “are you okay with me taking over? I know that I have gone with you for the past four years and you’re probably getting sick of me. I could probably still find someone else to go out with you?”

“No! No. It’s okay. I have nothing against you coming with me. I’m just worried that the others don’t like me very much. They have all avoided going with me ever since I took over. Maybe I’m doing something wrong?” Dean admits as he looks down at his shoes.

This has been a common fear for Dean the past couple of years. Sam and Dean’s father had retired five years ago and so they had taken over. Sam had taken to handling the logistics and overseeing the manufacturing process like a duck to water. The kid was a natural. Dean took over the actual physical part of handing out the presents and checking over the naughty and nice list. Sometimes he works on upgrading the sleigh together with Charlie and makes sure that the sleigh as well as the reindeer are in top condition for the big day, every year. He had also tried to keep his relationship with the elves as good as it had been before his dad had retired. Dean had loved talking with the elves and giving them a helping hand since he had been old enough to do so. A lot of them had seen him grow into the man he was today, so he doesn’t understand why they all seem to avoid being alone with him for those few hours, once a year.

Dean is startled out of his thoughts, as Cas places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Don’t think like that Dean. They all love you very much and I have it on good authority that they admire you. It just seems that any elf lucky enough to go out with you comes down with some kind of illness, on Christmas Eve. I am always very happy to jump in to help out though.”

Dean smiles softly at Cas and thanks him for his kind words. Dean certainly isn’t going to complain, about getting to spend some uninterrupted time with Cas. They’ve also gotten a routine down in the last few years of doing this together, so everything should go smoothly.

Charlie comes up to them to give them the ‘one minute until take off’ warning. Cas and Dean get onto the sleigh and the other elves gather around to watch them fly off into the night.

With the jingeling of the bells around the reindeers necks, they are off to their first stop.

—

Dean checks in with the home base, once they have dropped off the last load of presents. Everything seems to be in order, so Dean prepares to take off for one last time. Cas checks up on the reindeer, before getting into the sled again. Dean holds his hand up and Cas takes it, slotting their fingers together. The first time Dean had held up his hand for Cas for a high five, he hadn’t understood what Dean was trying to do and just intertwined their fingers. Dean hadn’t been strong enough to actually tell Cas what he had been going for. So this has become their tradition. After they finished up their tour, Dean would hold up his hand and Cas would take it. They just sit there like that and stare into each other's eyes for a few minutes.

Their staring contest is interrupted by the radio crackling to live, “home base to Destiel. Home base to Destiel.” Charlie’s voice comes over the loudspeaker.

Dean doesn’t really understand the whole ‘Destiel’ thing, but Charlie refuses to stop using it, so reluctantly he replies, “yes this is Destiel to home base. Everything still good to go?”

“Yes you are cleared for take off. Just wanted to know what is taking you so long?” Charlie replies.

“We are going to prepare for take off now. Cas just checked up on the reindeer, before we took off for home.” Dean tells Charlie. He is definitely not going to tell Charlie that Cas and him had just spent the last couple of minutes pretty much holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. She doesn’t need more ammunition. It’s bad enough that she knows about the crush Dean has on Cas.

Dean takes a quick look at Cas, who nods at him and finally urges the reindeer to take off into the air again.

They are still probably an hour away from home when the reindeer take a sudden dive towards the ground. They land bumpily on the snow covered ground and the second the sleigh comes to a stop, the reindeers’ harnesses disengage and they take off. The tinkling of the bells get quieter until they can’t be heard anymore and are nowhere to be seen.

Cas and Dean look at each other in shock, before Dean breaths out, “What the fuck, just happened?”

—

Back at the north pole

“Are you sure this is going to work this time, Charlie?” Sam asks.

Charlie turns around in her chair at her station, to look up at Sam. “It has to. Cause otherwise I’m out of ideas. We have tried to get them alone for a few hours every year since Dean took over. And even though they have spent hours upon hours alone together nothing seems to happen.”

“Yeah I’m happy all the other elves have gone along with this for the past few years. And also the times outside of that. I don’t even know how many times we have locked them into closets together or tried to get them under the mistletoe together. If it doesn’t happen this year. I don’t know if it ever will.” Sam lets out frustratedly.

“We’ll just try this one last time and maybe a Christmas miracle will happen. After that we may just have to leave them to their own devices.” Charlie says as she turns back around to her monitors.

Sam sighs heavily, “I don’t know if I can take anymore of their staring and their UST. They don’t even listen to me when I’m in the room with them.”

“Well let's initiate our last plan: ‘Operation Destiel’s profound bond’, is a go.” Charlie says as she activates a button and the previously moving red dot on the map, comes to a sudden stop.

—

After the shock had worn off, Dean had tried to turn on the engine that Charlie and him had installed for emergencies. Dean had never imagined that the emergency would be the reindeer just taking off on their own. When the engine failed to start, Dean had moved to the front of the sleigh to look at what could be the problem. He had been looking for a few minutes already, but had not been able to see anything wrong. So Dean trudged back through the snow towards the seats, where Cas was trying to get in contact with anyone at the North Pole.

“You have any luck?” Dean asks as he heaves himself back onto the seats.

“No. I haven’t been able to contact anyone and it just keeps giving out static. Did you have any luck with the engine?” Cas says.

Dean shakes his head, “there seems to be nothing wrong with it.”

“So, what do we do now?” Cas asks looking out over the white expanse stretching all around them.

“I guess we’re kind of sitting ducks, until the reindeer come back or Charlie decides to tell us what this is all about. She must have activated something remotely, since nothing is physically wrong.” Dean explains.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, before Cas starts shivering slightly. Elves might be made for cold temperatures, but just sitting in the snow, in nothing but a flimsy uniform and not moving around, would have anyone starting to freeze at some point.

Dean takes off his thick fluffy jacket and places it over Cas’ shoulders. Cas looks over at him gratefully.

“But don't you feel cold, without your jacket?” Cas asks.

“No, I- I’ll be- be fi- fine.” Dean says as his teeth start to chatter.

Cas raises his brow at him and damn if that doesn’t make Dean at least feel hot on the inside.

“Dean, your whole body is shivering. Come on, we can share the jacket.” Cas says, as he opens up one side, so Dean can slide under the jacket with him.

Like this Dean can feel the body heat coming off of Cas. Cas snuggles in even closer to him and tucks his face into Dean’s neck. The coldness of Cas’ skin makes him jump, but then he can feel Cas let out hot puffs of air against his skin and the hairs on Dean’s body stand up. Dean leans his head on top of Cas’ and just soaks in the moment.

“Hey Dean, why do you think Charlie would trap us out here?” Cas whispers softly, breaking the silence that had settled over them.

Dean’s body stiffens up for a moment, but then he relaxes again and resolves himself that he will finally have to reveal his feelings to Cas. Of course Charlie would pull something like this.

Dean pulls back and lifts Cas’ head up. “I think I have an idea why Charlie would do this.”

Cas tilts his head, “you do?”

“Yeah.” Dean rubs the back of his neck. “Well you see Charlie might have found something out. And it’s about you.” Dean takes Cas’ hands into his and looks him resolutely in the eyes. Cas is already looking back at him, attention solely focused on Dean, like he’s the only thing that matters.

“You can tell me anything.” Cas reassures him and squeezes Dean’s hands.

“Cas, I love you.” Dean says. For a terrifying second nothing happens and then a grin breaks out across Cas face. It makes his whole face light up and the corners of his eyes wrinkle slightly.

“I love you too, Dean.” Cas tells him.

Dean lets out a sigh of relief. His eyes flicker between Cas’ eyes and lips and finally he moves in closer.

“Can I kiss you?” Dean whispers, their faces only inches from each other.

Instead of answering Cas surges forward and closes the gap between them. Their first kiss is a bit clumsy, teeth clicking against each other and noses bumping. They chuckle lightly as they pull apart for a few seconds, forehead touching just looking into each other's eyes. The second kiss is much calmer, just lips pressing against lips. The smiles on their faces prevented the kiss from really going any deeper. And then finally their third kiss they get it right. Mouths slotting together and tongues intertwining. Dean pulls Cas impossibly closer, wanting to be as close as possible. After a while they pull back, breaths heaving. Damn, Dean thinks. He’s just been kissed stupid in the middle of nowhere, by the guy he has been in love with, before he even really knew what love was.

During their impromptu make out session the jacket had slipped off their shoulders, so the both of them are shivering slightly. Dean pulls Cas close and puts the jacket over them again. This time there's no hesitation though. They just snuggle up to each other, waiting for something to happen. Because surely Charlie wouldn’t actually let them freeze to death.

After what is probably an hour of them sitting alone in the snow, Cas looks up from where his head had been resting against Dean’s chest. At some point Cas had moved into Dean’s lap and they had just been sharing stories, interspaced with silence. Cas’ ears are twitching and he looks into the distance. Dean has the sudden urge to kiss Cas’ ear. So he does, because he can do that now. Cas smiles at him, a blush rising on his cheeks.

“I think the reindeer are coming back. I can hear their bells in the distance.” Cas says, as he moves to get down from Dean’s lap, but Dean just pulls him close again.

“I’m not letting you go, now that I have you.” Dean whispers into his ear.

Cas snuggles up close to Dean again, making himself at home against Dean’s chest and Dean rests his head on top of Cas’. Around a minute later, Cas is proven true, as the reindeer are now lining back up again. Their harnesses engage automatically and the sleigh lifts up off the ground. They ignore the occasional call that comes through on the radio, just enjoying their closeness.

Around an hour later, the white vastness that had surrounded them up until now, makes way for the brightly lit buildings that make up the North Pole.

The reindeer land gracefully in the landing area. Dean and Cas reluctantly pull back from each other. Cas gets off Dean’s lap and hands him the coat that had been slipping off his shoulders. Dean just leaves it laying on the seat and moves to disembark. Once he is safely on the ground he turns back around to offer a hand to Cas. Cas takes it with a smile and they just keep holding on, even after Cas is securely standing on the ground again. Finally they turn around to face the others, who had waited up for their safe return.

Charlie tackles them into a hug. She squeezes them tight for a moment, before pulling back and slapping their shoulders.

At their affronted looks she just replies, “that’s what you get for making me think you died or something out there. Would it have been so hard to just send a little notice, when we tried to contact you?”

“And who’s fault would it have been if we had frozen to death?” Dean asks drily.

Charlie looks at least a little chastised, but a grin quickly comes back to her face. “But it worked!” she screams pointing at their still intertwined hands.

“That it did.” Cas says as he moves their hands to his mouth to kiss the back of Dean’s hand. He gives Dean a soft smile and Dean is unable to stop himself from kissing Cas on the mouth.

The gathered crowd cheers as Cas and Dean are just lost in each other for a moment.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip Whenever

Hellooo it's Thursday morning and I should probably consider going to bed. So today we are gonna drop art and a little bit of writing. I'm kinda obsessing over Josh and Sydari stuff atm writing wise so you get some of that. Thank you to @skyrim-forever for tagging me. I started making this post when I got your tag :3 Tagging @viss-and-pinegar @vivifriend @saltymaplesyrup @archangelsunited @nyarevar @thescrolls-haveforetold

No pressure as usual. Just fun stuff for fun.

Now for wips n shit. Starting with arts-

Got more of his armour done and some deets on those blades. Posting a close up of his face because I'm happy with his pouty face. I just posted the chapter this art corresponds with the other day.

And a snippet of writing below the cut.

Today i'm posting a bit from chapter 18 of Serious Mistakes. Josh finally decides to ask for help from people he can trust. Only issue is that in order to ask for it, Josh must sit on ceremony. Part of it involves granting guest right to Sydari so that she can join Josh and Geldis at the Urshilaku camp. The chapter is Sydari's pov and i've chosen a section where Sydari is meeting the Ashkhan for the first time. She has mixed feelings. Josh hasn't been feeling so great over these last few chapters. ----

It wasn’t long before Geldis came back, though it was long enough for the smoking pipe to have done at least one round about the circle, and Sydari was feeling pleasantly buzzed. Geldis sat beside her and sighed as he reached once again for his drink.

“Go on,” Geldis grinned, “I know you want to know what happened.”

“I mean, sure?” Sydari shrugged as she reached for her drink again, “I’m assuming he’s just being stubborn about something?”

Geldis nodded, “Tel doesn’t want to use his stick and can’t get up by himself. Finally admitted that he probably shouldn’t have pushed it.”

She rolled her eyes a little, “Of course it was that.”

“It was a few things, Etana kinda offloaded a lot on him when he arrived,” Geldis sighed as he downed his drink, “Tel’s a bit emotional, to put it simply. He doesn’t like people seeing that.”

“So, what’s happening?” Sydari asked, her gaze still focused on the pipe that was being passed around the other side of the circle.

“Etana and I convinced Tel that no one cares if he’s got to use it,” He shrugged, sighing yet again, “We told him that the issues going on with the Urshilaku can wait until we’ve finished with Sigrun. I think it’s calmed him down a little. Just—”

“He’s a bit…” Sydari shook her head, trying to dislodge the image of Teldryn back in Glowstone Hall, eyes dead and vitriol spewing from his lips. The version of him that would hold a knife to her throat. Did the nomads know about that side of him? Or had he managed to hide it from them? She swallowed, anxiety welling yet again as the image changed and warped from Solstheim to the depths of Snow Veil Sanctum. She touched her hand to her throat before fiddling with the dark soul gem she wore around her neck. The vibration from the soul trapped forever inside brought her back to Nirn just as Geldis started speaking again.

“I don’t think he’s gonna change again if that’s what you’re worried about?” Geldis stated, his voice was quieter, almost soothing, “Ki, the Wise Woman, has a lot of tricks up her sleeve to keep Tel here. The Urshilaku have been helping him control it for a long time, girl. It’ll be okay.”

She nodded, her gaze falling to the woven carpet in front of her. They fell into a strange silence for a few moments, only ending as the murmuring from the crowd started to die down once again as the Wise Woman rose to her feet. She felt Geldis’ hand on her shoulder as he leaned in to whisper to her again.

“I think Tel’s finally ready.”

She looked towards the door just as the Wise Woman disappeared behind it. A part of her wondered if this was yet another problem stalling everything yet again. She noticed that everyone in the circle had stood, and she followed suit, letting out a sigh of relief as the door opened once again and both of the mer from earlier exited the tent and took their places within the circle, standing behind their seating cushions as the rest of the circle did. She listened to the Gulakhan speak, wishing she understood even a word of what he said. She started fiddling with her necklace again, arranging the thin, gold chain so that it wasn’t getting tangled in the decoration of her glass torc. Geldis nudged her a little as the Gulakhan stopped speaking and she snapped her attention back to the door just as it opened once again— a larger figure appearing just behind it.

“There he is,” Geldis whispered in her ear, “Tel’s gonna address everyone before we all sit down again. Just follow my lead.”

She nodded just as the figure stepped out into the light of the lanterns. She didn’t know what to make of what she saw standing before her.

Teldryn slowly made his way towards the circle, his long, thin fingers grasping the handle of an ornately carved walking stick that she didn’t recall him packing that morning. His skin— what was visible at the very least— was covered in a thin layer of what she assumed to be ash. The layers cracking around his joints a little. He wore a long, thick silk robe that was as red as his eyes and trimmed with gold thread. The sleeves looked as if they could skim the floor if the mer hadn’t rolled them up somewhat. He seemed to be wearing some sort of armour underneath the robe, dark like he usually wore though the material seemed different. Almost like the bonemold that the Redoran Guard typically wore. The darks and reds were accented by gold— the trim of his robe weaved into a set of brilliant, gold pauldrons that extended from his shoulders almost like a set of wings and she noticed he had to turn himself slightly as he made his way through the door.

She noticed that he had tied his usually messy, uneven hair into a smooth topknot, fastened with an equally brilliant golden headdress in the shape of a star. He paused for a moment once he reached the circle before taking a deep breath and stepping carefully over the large orange cushion, his knuckles flexing around the handle of his stick. His eyes locked with hers for a moment and she noticed that the skin around his sockets seemed a little puffy, with some of the paint on his face having been washed away a little, mixing with the dark kohl that she noticed he usually favoured whenever he left the Netch. The dark stains on his cheeks mixed with the bone grey of the ash reminded her of a spectre of some sort. Haunting and a little ethereal— he looked beautiful and a huge part of her hated to admit it.

Teldryn smiled at her for a brief moment before he addressed the group, using that same language that she didn’t understand save for her name. He nodded towards her before she noticed the Gulakhan and Wise Woman move to his side, grabbing his arms as they helped him sit down, slowly lowering him onto the cushion that the Gulakhan had placed down earlier. She followed everyone’s lead, sitting down silently as the group waited for their head to get himself comfortable. She watched the Wise Woman take Teldryn’s stick and rested it against the door behind them.

Teldryn cleared his throat, sitting as straight as he could. He spoke again in Ashland, his voice sounding confident with less pauses in his speech than when she had been speaking with him earlier. Almost as if he’d rehearsed this particular speech a hundred times. Though it could have entirely been because Sydari didn’t understand the language he was speaking. It was an interesting development nonetheless; she hadn’t quite expected any of this when he had first introduced himself at the Netch.

Teldryn Sero was a hard mer to figure out.

[inawickedlittletown]

All I Want For Christmas Is You (BuckTommy) - 6/8

Summary: When Buck and Tommy pick each other for the 118's Secret Santa, they both realize they know nothing about each other. That changes very quickly. Words: 3.1k Rating: M Read on Ao3 Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

-

Chapter Six

The next week was different. Buck wasn’t sure if anyone even noticed, because Tommy had just reverted back to just kind of ignoring Buck unless it was work related. They were never alone despite Buck trying to catch him on his own. When Buck had tried sending him a text it sat unread for days and then when Tommy did respond it was just to decline Buck asking if he’d want to go see a movie together. 

Buck knew when he wasn’t wanted. He knew when it was better to just cut his losses and move on. It happened to him often enough. There was just something about him that made people think they could do better, or that he just wasn’t worth all the trouble after a romp in the sheets. Tommy had come to that conclusion and Buck couldn’t fault him. So, he stayed away. There were more fishes in the sea and all that. 

At the very least, the time they’d spent together had given Buck a few options when it came to Secret Santa. Although, a part of him — a petty part — wanted to just go out of his way to make the present as mundane and useless as anything. 

He couldn’t quite convince himself to go that route. But, it wasn’t like Buck knew what he would get him. The one thing he was certain of was that once Christmas had come and gone that would be the end of it and he would stop letting his mind drift to thinking about Tommy yet again. Buck would go out and find someone else and just move on. It was what he did and it was what he was good at. 

When the week was over, Buck gave in to the impulse to just go out to a bar and see if he could do something to get Tommy out of his mind. He was barely there a few minutes before he left and wound up at the mall instead. 

Buck had a little over a week left and at least being as alone as he was did mean that Buck really only had to worry about getting something for Tommy. The worst of it was walking into a store and pinpointing things that would have worked perfectly to give to Chim or Hen or Bobby. Not so much for Tommy. 

Eventually, Buck wound up just going into a cafe to pick up some coffee and a snack. It reminded him of Tommy’s excitement for the cookies the other day. He had a feeling he was going to wind up just getting one of those chocolate gift sets as impersonal as it felt. At least Tommy would like that for sure which was something.

When he pushed the door to the cafe open on his way out, he almost ran right into Karen. 

“Oh. Karen, sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” she said with a smile. “Fancy seeing you out and about.” 

“Secret Santa,” Buck said. “I still haven’t even figured out what to get so I’ve been browsing the mall.” 

Karen chuckled. “That’s right. Hen already has hers ready to go. Actually, I’m pretty sure she finished all her shopping. Clearly, I’m not done. I was thinking of going into the bookstore to see if I could find something for Hen. Want to join me?” 

“Yeah. Sure. Maybe something will pop out for me there,” Buck said. 

He ate the muffin he’d picked up at the cafe on the way, but was still holding his coffee when they arrived at the bookstore. 

The whole place had been decorated for the holidays. The window had a display with a small ceramic village complete with a tree and a train that went around the whole thing on a track. Lights and garland covered the shelves and on the door was a wreath made out of tiny felt books. 

At first he and Karen perused together. The store was not just books. They had a stationary area and a shelf full of travel mugs with quotes that probably came from books and next to that a rack that held tote bags. 

The shelves were arranged with signs and Buck wound up heading in the direction of the nonfiction. His first thought was to see if there was anything on art. Or, flying. He pulled out his phone to look at the picture he’d taken of Tommy’s bookshelf. No books on art, but a lot about flying. On closer inspection it looked like they were flight manuals rather than books on planes or helicopters. 

The bookstore did have a few books on different famous artists. DaVinci. Van Gogh. Picasso. Monet. Khalo. Buck couldn’t have been able to say much about any of them and he didn’t think that Tommy would actually have any use for biographies. So, Buck wandered the shelves. A LGBTQ+ section caught his eye. 

Buck had always considered himself an ally. He’d gone to LA Pride the year before. He never had a problem with anyone that identified differently be it their gender or sexual preferences, he just had never looked at himself and thought he could be more than the default. 

On the LGBTQ+ shelf there were plenty of novels, but some non-fiction as well. Self-help and essays and history. 

“Hey,” Karen said suddenly at his elbow. “Find anything?” 

“Oh. No. I don’t think a book is the right way to go.”

“But these caught your eye?” Karen asked. “Wait, did you get Hen as your Secret Santa? No, don’t tell me. I can’t know.” 

“I don’t have Hen,” Buck said. “I just—”

Buck had told Connor. Tommy knew, obviously. He hadn’t told anyone else. Karen though...she seemed like a safe bet to tell and yeah it might make it back to Hen, but Buck didn’t even really care about that. It might mean he didn’t have to say anything to Hen outright. 

“I’m bi, Karen,” Buck said. “It’s…um, it’s new.” 

Karen’s smile didn’t falter. “Wow. Thank you for telling me.” 

Buck took a breath. “I kissed a guy and it was like…like I realized I hadn’t been whole my entire life until then. I’ve always been an ally and now it’s…I guess I’m more. I’m bi.” 

“You certainly are, Buck,” Karen said. “Does that mean you’re seeing someone, then?” 

Tommy flashed in his mind. After that date and the glorious afternoon spent in Tommy’s bed they hadn’t spoken outside of work and Buck knew it was over before anything had even begun. Buck felt dumb for thinking that it could be more and that Tommy might give them a chance. He should have known better. 

“No,” Buck said and then grabbed a book at random. 

The cover was pink and it was apparently a romance novel. He put it back. He could feel Karen watching him. 

“I kissed a guy and we had sex a few times and I never told him that he was the first guy I was with and he basically ghosted me after that,” Buck said. 

It was mostly the truth. 

“Oh, you jumped right on in, then. Hen’s told me stories, but most people don’t do things at your pace.”

Buck hummed. “I guess not. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It’s over and I don’t think I’ll find anything in here for him.” 

Karen made a noise, but she started coughing. 

“I’ll pay for these,” she said.

Karen paid for the four books she’d picked up and Buck waited for her. 

“Hey, Buck, this does get easier and less confusing.” 

“I hope so.” 

-

He’d sketched Evan into the better half of a sketchbook. His hands. His face. A very rough one of his body while Tommy had been riding him. Other things too, Evan’s smile. His birthmark. Abstract things that were a reminder of Evan. He was clearly well rooted in Tommy in a way that would be hard to shake. Shake him, he would. 

The days following their date had been a little awkward. Tommy had even seen Chim and Hen sharing glances because Tommy had gone from talking to Evan a bit more and including him more to ignoring him again. 

“Did Buck do something to you?” Hen had asked one afternoon between calls. 

“No. He’s still the same impulsive kid.” 

“He’s definitely grown a bit,” Hen said. 

Tommy was glad when they had a call to get to. He wound up sitting next to Evan and was stiff the whole ride there. When they arrived on the scene Bobby paired them together he didn’t even blink. Evan had caught on by that point, at least, that Tommy wouldn’t talk to him. So, he didn’t try though his baleful glances struck Tommy to the heart. 

He and Evan went up the ladder that was extended out to the roof of the house, neither said a word and it felt like a blanket of tension had been laid atop them both. The man they were helping had injured his leg while putting lights on his roof. Even he seemed to sense the tension in the air as they helped to get him on a backboard to transport him down. 

Maybe it was unfair to freeze Evan out, but Tommy didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t get attached to Evan. He couldn’t be what Evan needed and there were already too many complications that would arise most because they worked side by side. It was better this way. He did hate the kicked puppy look that Evan got when Tommy pointedly ignored him, but Evan would get over it. Evan would go out and find himself some younger guy to get his rocks off with. That or some girl. Maybe a whole plethora of them if that was what he wanted. Tommy would always be the guy that helped him realize that he wasn’t straight, but that was about it. 

One day, they might even laugh and talk about it. Not any time soon though. 

Tommy did still call the guy with the wood carvings and asked about seeing his pieces again. Apparently the Christmas Market was still going, so Tommy drove over on his next day off. 

“Hey, I’m Tommy. We spoke on the phone.” 

“Right. Right. You were interested in something for a friend?” 

Tommy nodded and took a look around. A lot of the bigger pieces were way past the $50 limit but he did find a carving of a dog with a firefighter’s helmet. It was perfect. 

“This one,” Tommy said. 

It wouldn’t be enough, but Tommy had the start of a plan for the rest of Evan’s present. It might even serve as a way to break the ice between them again and put them on a path to being friends. He hoped. Otherwise, it might be awkward at work forever. 

“Thank you,” Tommy said when he was handed the wrapped package. 

“No problem. Hope your friend likes it.” 

He took a quick walk around the rest of the market, found himself buying cookies and this time a hot chocolate at that booth and then he found a tent that he and Evan hadn’t gotten to the last time or that hadn’t been there at all. A rainbow flag stuck out and Tommy found himself smiling a little. 

At one point in his life, he’d abhorred rainbows and everything they represented for him. He’d never wanted to be attached to it, to claim it for his own. Had believed for the longest time that he didn’t deserve the community it provided. Hell, Tommy had never even gone to a pride parade. It happened sometime when he started painting again, where a rainbow had snuck into a painting and then he was adding them where they worked, especially in a painting that was devoid of other color. It felt like finally allowing himself to be more open about himself, a way to accept that he was gay and nothing and no one could change that. 

He approached the tent and found a smiling man behind a small table that served as a counter. There was a display of different colored flags that Tommy couldn’t begin to assign, books on a small bookshelf and novelty t-shirts and tote bags and mugs. 

“Hello,” the man on the other side of the table said. “Looking for anything specific?” 

“Huh, not really. I’m buying for a Secret Santa. The guy I got just recently realized he’s bi.”

“Oh,” the man said. “Well we don’t have a welcome to being queer pack or anything, but you could give him one of our mugs or a book on queer history. There’s some informative ones, some funny ones. But, you know, just because he’s bi doesn’t mean his gift has to be about that.” 

Tommy could tell that there was a level of condescension in the tone and Tommy got it. He got what he looked like and how he passed for straight easily, that he’d leaned on that for a while, maybe so much that he never could be perceived otherwise. 

He picked up one of the mugs. It was cute and a quote he’d seen in a few places, “Harold, they’re lesbians”. Tommy chuckled and put it down again. A few just had a big rainbow going around them, some with gay or lesbian or bi or queer or trans written on them. Then, he saw one with each line in pink, purple, and blue: “Both. Both Is. Good”. On the other side it said: “Chaotic Bisexual”

“This is perfect for him,” Tommy said with a smile. 

Then, he spotted one with a cartoonish rainbow and “Yup, woke up GAY again”. 

“I’ll take this too,” Tommy said. 

The guy raised an eyebrow. 

“For myself,” Tommy said. 

He saw the man behind the counter nod, lips pressed tight. He was the type of guy that fit the stereotype. Someone that could never have hid his sexuality unless he was really trying and maybe he never had found himself in an environment where hiding was the best option. Some people were that lucky. 

He went to the books next. Several of the titles caught his eye including the flashy looking The LGBTQ+ History that told him Evan would have a kick reading. Then, he saw Bi The Way. He wound up picking both. Over the time he’d known Evan, he knew that Evan liked to deep dive into research about pretty random topics. He mostly did that online. The likelihood was that he’d already gone through every possible site on the internet, but these books would be quirky and fun.

“These too,” Tommy said. 

The man nodded. The mugs he’d put in individual boxes. He added everything into a small bag, but didn’t hand it over. 

“What?” Tommy asked. 

“I’m sorry. I just…I assumed you were just—”

“Just some cis straight guy,” Tommy said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I forget sometimes that the queer experience looks different for everyone. I hope your friend who just came out is glad he has you to help him along the way.” 

Except that Evan hadn’t actually needed that much help from him when it came to the discovery of his sexuality. He hadn’t asked Tommy a single question about being queer or about Tommy’s own history. It was a little unusual, that was for sure.  

He bought a gift bag at another tent and then when he got back home put every component of Evan’s gift inside. He left it right by his tree and he was almost sad to be done with it. His own mug he took into the kitchen. He placed it inside his cabinet and it looked out of place, but Tommy loved it. Maybe one day he would have another mug in there that belonged to someone that fit into Tommy’s life. He didn’t think it would happen, but it was possible. Maybe. 

He tried hard not to picture the mug he’d gotten Evan. That was definitely not going to happen. 

-

“Looks like someone was up all night,” Chim said. 

Buck didn’t even realize Chim was talking to him, but of course he was. And Buck had been up all night. He’d gone down a research spiral. It had started with him looking a little bit further into bisexuality and what it meant for him, but he’d started thinking about Tommy and then that had led straight into Buck just researching art supplies. 

Apparently there was a lot to learn. Not all paints and colored pencils were created equal. That went for brushes and pigments and clay and so many other things. Buck had seen Tommy’s art room twice and he’d noticed that Tommy had a lot of acrylic paint, brushes, and a cup that held pencils. Considering his sketches were all done in pencil, he didn’t think it’d be a bad idea to get him a set of good colored pencils. And so, Buck had gone on a research spiral, but he’d also managed to order some colored pencils and a few different sketchbooks. 

It didn’t seem like enough, but Buck figured with Christmas drawing closer it was better to have something ready to go than not. 

“You do have bags under your eyes, Buck,” Hen said. “Did you get any sleep?” 

“Some,” Buck said. “I’ll get a nap later.” 

Chim nudged his shoulder. “How hot was she to keep you up all night?” 

Buck felt his cheeks go warm. “There was no girl.” 

“Sure,” Chim said. 

“There wasn’t,” Buck said again. 

Tommy walked into the locker room. “What’s happening?” He asked and didn’t look in Buck’s direction. 

Buck felt the avoidance down to his bones. The worst of it was that Buck had never gotten stuck on someone the way he’d gotten stuck on Tommy and they hadn’t even gone on more than a single date. For a second Buck had thought maybe it was that it was a guy and new, but he knew deep down that it was Tommy. 

“Buck is being surprisingly mum about what he got up to last night,” Chim said. 

“Oh,” Tommy said. 

“Nothing. I got up to nothing but shopping for my Secret Santa,” Buck said and he turned so he could look directly at Tommy. “That and a bit of research. That’s all.” 

Tommy turned away. “We all know we would know all the details if Buck did hook up with anyone, wouldn’t we.”

“I did hook up with someone last week. Really hot,” Buck offered. 

“Yeah, I don’t want to hear about that,” Hen said. 

Buck caught Tommy’s eye and he saw Tommy roll his eyes. Buck turned away and finished getting dressed. He didn’t say anything to any of them as he left the locker room and made his way up the stairs hoping that he could actually get a nap on the couch before a call came in. 

[susagnon]

Shouto and his adoptive sisters, part 2

Would have loved to see an actual team-up between these two: The guy who thought his quirk works best without teammates around him, and the girl known for being one of the most versatile battle comrades you can have.

Asui is the older sister to two younger siblings. I headcanon that she talks to Todoroki like how she talks to them: Encouragingly and patiently, without any condescencion.

They got closer after Asui cried in front of him and the other kids, who sneaked away to Kamino. Todoroki was reeeally sleepy, but he still felt bad about having partly caused her distress, so he tried to talk to her more afterwards.

When the weather turns cold, Todoroki and Asui often end up sitting close to each other: First on the school bus, then anywhere else. Todoroki gets some comfort out of seeing how his fire side, which he had rejected for so long, can be helpful to others even outside of combat - be it to keep Dark Shadow obedient to Tokoyami, or to keep Asui from involuntary hibernation.

Headcanon: Todoroki intentionally chose the spot in front of Asui and Uraraka. He wanted Deku and Iida to join them but before they could, Aoyama and the other girls placed themselves around 1-A's pretty boy.

I saw a fan comic once, in which Asui brought Todoroki a cup of tea and he accidently refers to her as “nee-san”.  I headcanon that this has happened more than once. Todoroki’s cheeks turned rosy the first couple of times. Then Asui asked that he call her “Tsu-chan”, and he felt even more embarrassed by that.  

As such, Asui remains “Asui” when they are with others. She doesn't correct him, because when she’s alone with Todoroki-chan, she gets to hear “Tsu-nee-san.” Todoroki ends up calling her that nonchalantly. They also ignor that he's actually a month older than her. Considering how he doesn’t use honorifics with any of his other classmates, Asui feels rather special.

Todoroki really does emit youngest child vibes sometimes.

It seems like, barring Deku and Bakugou, most of Todoroki’s classmates didn't know anything about his family drama, until Dabi broadcasted it to the whole nation.

For example, I’m don't think Iida ever picked up on anything prior to Dabi’s dance. He's probably Todoroki’s closest friend (alongside Deku), and he cares a lot. But Iida also tends to be blind to emotional undercurrents. In one of the light novels, he accidentally pisses Todoroki off by telling him off for how he refers to his father. When he visited Todoroki in his room on Troy, he also made a well-meaning but misplaced comparison between their families.

However, a few of them did take notice of Todoroki’s complicated family life, e.g. Kirishima (Todoroki didn't hide much in BNHA's supplementary works). I headcanon that Uraraka and Asui were also among those, who at least picked up on the fact that Todoroki had grown up in a very strict environment. Thus, they tried extra hard to include him in their conversations and activities. This might have contributed to Todoroki warming up to the rest of the class much faster than he might have done otherwise.