#I think all of these are from the 2000s if im not mistaken
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Post-punk revival is a type of indie rock that emulates the sound of post-punk bands of the late 1970s and new wave bands of the early 1980s and has been stylistically tied to 1990s music movements such as shoegaze, Britpop, garage revival and post-hardcore. -Wikipedia
Some of the most iconic albums (in my opinion, and at least visually) of my fave genre! I might post the CD frame separately. It's a little big for my liking, but I don't love the way these look when I scale them down any more than this lol
F2U with or without credit, just don't claim as your own. tips appreciated <3 (ko-fi link)
#maybe one day I'll do a proper music page on my site#but for now this is kinda it#okay#the killers#the fratellis#franz ferdinand#the airborne toxic event#the wombats#the thermals#new wave revival#2000s#I think all of these are from the 2000s if im not mistaken#2000s nostalgia#2000s music#2000s alternative#2000s indie#web graphics#page decor#web decor#rentry graphics#carrd graphics#neocities#pixel art#kinda? the cd case frame is pixel art lol
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I HATE YOU .𖥔 ݁ ˖
in which logan leaves for a mission unexpectedly for almost a year and still expects to be welcomed home upon return
warnings: angst, no happy ending (oops!), a little violence, mutant!reader, that’s it fr
reader has same powers as logan bc they were both experiments at the same time
i also switched up the timeline slightly so pretend logan isn’t a grumpy old man and is more so how he was in x-men (2000)
i also saw some other story that was kinda like this one but i couldn’t remember who’s it was so if anyb knows drop it so i can credit
part 2
“why are we here again?” wade questioned, stuffing a handful of cheetos he stole from a vending machine a while back.
logan only glared at him, “because. i left her for 9 months, the least i can do is come home and show her that im alive.”
wade shrugs, “who even is this ‘she?’ is she hot?”
in seconds, wade finds himself pinned against the wall of the hallway, logan’s claws only centimeters from his neck. ��she’s my girl, you don’t get to talk about her being hot,” logan growls, retracting his claws and releasing wade.
“well damn wolvie! don’t get your panties in a bunch, im not stealing your girl! unless the charm is just too much for her then-“
“do you ever stop fucking talking outta your ass?”
wade only sighed, halting to a stop as logan did the same. “137,” logan muttered, looking up at the 137 sitting next to your door.
as logan rose his hand to knock, the door was swung open. logan’s eyes widened. he thought he’d gotten himself back into the right headspace to see you again, clearly he’d been mistaken.
the way your low-set brows rose up at the corners in anger, your long lashes drawing his eyes straight to your deep brown ones. your plush lips curled in slightly and your hair flowed down your back smoother than water.
wade whistled, “hey hot stuff-“ before he was cut of with a punch to the nose, dragging him down to the floor.
logan still had yet to say anything, admiring all the parts of you he’d missed.
however he was cut off with a groan, looking down at your claws that had made their way through his abdomen and back out, retracing back into your forearms.
“what the hell are you doing back here? and who’s the red sex-toy lookin’ thing that i j punched?”
as much as logan wanted to laugh at your dig at wade, he knew how to read the room. and frankly, he was still to stunned. “y/n? baby?”
“don’t call me that,” logan’s eyes widened, “you don’t get to call me that after disappearing for 9 months without notice, lo!”
logan couldn’t help but admire your use of his nickname you created even though you’re pissed at him.
“listen. i know, okay? i know and im sorry but if you let me in,” logan stepped closer, “i can expl- ah fuck!”
you’d stabbed him again in the same spot, pushing his body against the hall with your claws. “no you listen to me, logan. and you listen to me good. i’m not letting you come into my- our house after going awol for fucking forever and coming back with some random gay in a red suit,” you pulled your claws out of him but didn’t put them away this time.
your face softens, eyes moving rapidly between logan’s. he knew you better than anyone, he could see the way your eyes shifted from angry to vulnerable and the way your eyebrows lifted; you were a mini him, despite you being the same age.
“i thought you died, lo. i spent the past months thinking the only person i had and loved was fucking dead,” your eyes welled up as you backed away from logan, putting your claws away alas.
“i’m sorry, doll. im so sorry you have no idea,” logan’s calloused hands grazed your forearms, thumbs tracing the spot where your claws rested.
you sighed, holding back the urge to give in and hold onto him as long as you could.
“but you dont understand-“ you looked away, only for logan to lift a hand and cup your face in it, forcing your glossy eyes to meet his.
“you’re right, james! i don’t understand! so jesus fucking christ enlighten me.”
logan was taken back at your use of his real name, lip parting slightly. his heart ached more and more every time he watched your bottom lip quiver. he knew you were trying to keep up your strong facade, but were beginning to fail.
“i had a mission to go on. i had to save the world, baby!” your brows curled back into anger, and logan knew you thought he was bullshitting. “cmon, angel, stay with me. the asshat over there in the red, he dragged me into this. so if you’re gonna kill anyone for this, have it be him. i just- i need you to let me in.”
you shook your head. “lo- just-“ you stuttered, scavenging for words. “but why didn’t you say anything? you couldn’t have called? sent a letter? hell, baby i would’ve been happy with a fucking pigeon!”
“i didn’t have access to that shit.”
“for 9 months?”
he took a deep sigh, “yes, for nine months.” his tone grew louder. “because if i hadn’t left you for those 9 months there would be no more you for me to come back home to!”
“get out of my damn building, logan.”
“what?”
“leave! i want you and that goddamn red thing to get as far away from me as you fucking can and stay there.”
“y/n-“
“bye logan!”
you slammed the door in his face, leaving him standing there in utter disbelief.
logan’s claws retracted, “FUCK!” he screamed through the hall, leaving a giant claw park across your door.
he looked down at wade, who was watching from a safe distance on the floor. he put his claws away, grabbing wade by the fabric of his suit and dragging him onto his feet.
“get up, you heard the girl; let’s get the fuck away from her.”
logan was breathing heavy, more than ever before. it was like his heart couldn’t catch up to everything he was feeling in the moment. the last thing he wanted to be doing right now was walking out of your apartment building and leaving you, but he was weighed down by so much anger and hurt that he wasn’t exactly in control of himself at the moment.
“well,” wade started, “you handled that well.”
and before he knew it, wade was stabbed into a wall. “ow?”
logan growled, “i’m coming back for her.”
wade only let out a long laugh, stopping logan in his tracks.
“what the fuck are you laughing at? you should’ve heard the joke she made about you! she said you look like a sex toy-“
“i’m not laughing at that, you ape. i’m laughing at the fact that you’re coming back to her! look how it turned out the last time you ‘came back.’ “
“you don’t know what you’re talking about, kid. i’m coming back, whether she likes it or not. i’m not losing the love of my life after all i did to make sure i wouldn’t lose her.”
“i-“ “and next time im here, you won’t be.”
so! should i make a part 2 WITH a happy ending when he does come back??? 🫣🫣
♯ taglist! ∿
@spazwayy @oatmilkriver @sseleniaa @mei-simp @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesangel @realsimpbitchshit @pickuptruck01 @keigohawks @thereallchristine @velvrei
#wolverine fic#wolverine x reader#wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett oneshot#logan howlett x reader#hugh jackman x reader#logan howlett#hugh jackman#deadpool#x men#marvel#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine
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12 YEAR OLD OCS; SIDE A
hạt dẻ hạt phỉ [@tboyblogger] (she/her sister, he/him for brother)
theyre a pair of twin beasts, middle schoolers! i have no idea who is hazelnut and who is chestnut i kept calling them both names like that, theyre they/them in the way there are always two kids. these kids are beasts(?) that look like human but with magic and animal ears and tails. theyre adopted by a desi family of wizards so they do witchy spellcasting stuff. their names are in vietnamese cause. well im viet, and theyre kind of a ripoff of a vietnamese early 2000s tv show about a family of wizards (LOL) coming to the human world and try to blend in, except mine is just about the family trying to take care of these two beasts and the shenanigans revolve around them! if i were to continue writing them now i'd probably do the sitcom format, something like old d*sney channel series like wizard of waverly place (wait i think i also stole from this LMAO) or good luck charlie where the focus is on the interpersonal relationships of everyone in the family and how they are to the kids, growing as they learn to take care of them? idk. but this was 2012, i was 12, so i ripped from cardcaptor sakura and ben10 and pokémon or other similar video games to make them into mahou-kodomo shounen protags going around different worlds capturing creatures-of-the-week but theyre all in the back of my head now </3 vote for them if you like little animal freaks that would crawl on the floor chewing furniture and bite each other then cry to mom
Excavator [@enjoliquej] (he/him)
Behold, a mere mortal man, born with the name Excavator, destined to become part of one of the most fantastical endeavors known to man: Archeological Excavation. Being gifted with a genius and brilliant name as Excavator, and having a career that shared the same name gave him some trouble with introductions.
A bold and thoughtful quote from our hero:
"My name is Excavator, and I am an excavator." -- Excavator
Follow Excavator, the world's WORST and luckiest archeologist as he embarks across the world to different locations that his 12 year old writer was learning about in history class. Watch as his boss constantly fires and re-hires him on account of Excavator's stupidity and luck at finding rare artifacts. Embark on his first adventure when he accidentally hurled himself into a tar pit from clowning around and found the Rosetta Stone buried deep beneath. Join him on his trip to China where he gets thrown into a basket and is forced to float the Pacific Ocean for days until he discovers ancient Chinese scrolls hidden in the basket with him, narrowly escaping being fired by his boss yet again. Follow him to India where he believes he traveled to the 1800s and is mistaken for a butler and cleans precious furniture with bleach which ruins everything until he realizes he was just staying at some guys house the whole time and he didn't time travel to the 1800s.
All this and more on The Silly Adventures of Excavator, The Indiana Jones Wannabe!
#ocs#polls#ocs you made when you were 12 tournament#old sins#bracket tournament#side a#hạt dẻ hạt phỉ#chestnut and hazelnut#excavator
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23.01.24 - Environments
Hey y'all, happy new year! Things were pretty much busy from the get-go for us, so we haven't had time to post a proper update. But now we're here, and here's whats up!
This is a reference picture my partner took for me on one of our trips to my hometown of Stavanger, Norway a couple of years back. Stavanger has been a great influence of multiple of my games, mostly due to a love-hate relationship, complicated nostalgia and pride. Its a gorgeous town with lovely nature and bustling culture, but it is also full of rich jerks and elon-pilled right-wingers. Thats what the oil industry will do to you!
Anyway, thats neither here nor there- i think anywhere you grow up, you have a complicated relationship with.
If you've been peeking at our discord (hey, come hang out with us!) lately, you might have noticed that i've been posting a bunch of mockups for environment art and i thought i could give y'all an insight into how important dirt is to me!!
Environments have been on the backburner for a long time for me, mostly because im not an environment artist and i am pretty intimidated by the task ahead. My task is: portray post-apocalyptic Norwegian society and nature, and make it so that Fangst wont be mistaken for just any other game. It needs to be both unique and also very deliberately reflect real world locations. That's no small task!
But i've made some visual breakthroughs lately, and that has made me able to grasp the task much easier. Its been in the art recipe for this project all along, the key words being impressionism, brutalism, texture! The trick was combining it in the right way.
Here is a mockup i posted earlier this month. The angled texture on the rocks is strongly inspired by brutalist concrete sculptures, with a thick outline to show the player what is and is not a platform. Overlaid is a real-world picture my partner took of some algae and plant growth on rocks close to the sea.
The background is impressionist, clearly distancing it from the lens and 'player space' by taking on a different artstyle. We have mentioned earlier that we're inspired by the work of Munch, and have earlier tried to replicate the sun from this piece in-game.
The characters are also modernist, but in a different sense- taking inspiration from the UPA revival movement most famously seen in early 2000s cartoons such as Dexters Laboratory and Samurai Jack. I suppose this could make them a third, separate layer of modernist art!
Right now some aspects don't fit as cleanly into the formula- plant life is proving tricky, and remains semi-realistically styled. UI is deliberately made to look like real-world objects, because i think it helps it stand out against the other layers. Readability is my primary concern right now, i have a tendency to soup that away in the hunt for exciting art direction.
Next time, i'll be talking about a whole separate beast again- architecture. Nothing is more norwegian to me than dingy little wooden houses along a coastline, so you bet your ass im putting effort into it! But also, GLOBAL GAME JAM IS COMING UP- so i might also talk about that :3 We'll see.
Have a good one! -Hauk
#update#fangst#indie game#indiedev#gamedev#gamemaker#indie games#fishing game#norway#devblog#devlog#game design#game development#game art#concept art
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Oh, so you wanna learn more about polish culture? Maybe youre learning the language and trying to impress native speakers with quotes (we love movie quotes). Or maybe you just like the "pov: you grew up in eastern europe" videos.
Well heres an unhelpful guide to polish movies you should know to earn the respect of a pole.
1. Kiler (1997)
A taxi driver gets mistaken for a serial killer and is trying to not get arrested. Quite entertaining, but can get confusing (thats one thing most polish movies have in common). The main character is likeable and can be accurately described as "a bit confused but hes got the spirit". A solid 8/10.
2. Chłopaki nie płaczą/Boys don't cry (2000)
Two young dudes get in trouble with the mafia. You will hear a lot of quotes from this one (the most popular one is "you wouldnt understand the story behind this jumper, anyway"). I've seen it before but can't really remember what it was all about, to be fair I just didnt pay attention. Ill give it a 7/10.
3. Dzień świra/Freak day (2002)
A day in life of a frustrated, divorced teacher. Absolutely hilarious and relatable, probably the most popular one on the list. A must watch. A 10/10 right there. I have nothing else to add.
4. Miś/A bear (1981)
A life of a sports club president in the communist Poland. Im probably missing out but I havent actually seen this one. Your parents beloved movie as they remember those times.
5. Jak rozpętałem drugą wojnę światową/How I've started the world war II (1969)
A story of an unlucky solider who thinks he started the world war II and tries to be a hero, which only puts him in more trouble. A classic just because of one scene, where the main character says his name is Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz . Ive seen it a long time ago. I cant remember anything.
And thats it. There's a lot more, but these are the absolute basics. If you want something more advanced search for The Trilogy, containing: Ogniem i mieczem/With fire and sword, Potop/Deluge and Pan Wołodyjowski/Sir Wołodyjowski. They are historical movies based off Henryk Sienkiewicz novels. Thanks for reading bye!
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what the fuck have you been watching
1. Pillaged custom minecraft music disc
2. Survive the internet gallery of a game i don't remember playing
3. Quackity inspired playlist
4. Shulk custom minecraft music disc
5. Door simulator 2000 minecraft story mode season 1 episodes 2-4 by technoblade
6. I've NEVER done a series like THIS before! Minecraft 3rd life SMP (pretty sure it's smajor but i don't remember)
7. A brief history of: chernobyl
8. Forcing eddy burback to drink thick water (i don't know why i still have it opened, i watched this episode when it came out)
9. BoBoBo-Bo BoBo-Bo was SO WEIRD by billiam
10. How subnautica below zero was awesome by mistake
11. I went on my first date in minecraft if im not mistaken i think its either tommyinnits video or maybe it's Quackity's love or host.... I honestly don't remember it's been there for a while (update: it's tommys)
12. Behind the scenes i bought the most haunted place on earth....... Its slimecicles but i legit was convinced that it was jacks for some reason
13. Julian casablancas + the voidz - human sadness (instrumental something something i don't remember why i have it opened
14. Despicable me - the franchise ruined by facebook
15. Why shrek the musical is hot garbage
16. Love or host with justaminx jschlatt decides edition
17. A brief history of: the tammiku radiation event 1994
18. Minecraft b-team #2: weapons n farms
19. Dream's mask was a misunderstood disaster
20. The problems with blaire white misinformation and "moderation" by TRO. I've watched a half of this video im pretty sure. Good soup btw
21. The adventures of tintin and the shadows of giants no idea tf this is
22. Chilliad gamings greatest mystery no idea tf this is either
23. Detroit become human: it's bad I've watched this one recently and forgot to close it for some reason
24. The disturbing truth behind family channels
25. Dear evan Hansen is the worst movie musical ive ever seen
26. Pipergate: a youtube rabbit hole
27. Cinderella (2021) the cursed remake nobody wanted
28. The worst commentary video on youtube
29. Instagram boomers
30. 3rd life - 01 - TREE. T. S.D.
31. Caves&cliffs || new music by lena raine & kumi tanioka (good soup!)
32. This sponge bob theory channel has hidden lore
33. Weird unban requests with jack manifold on niki's twitch
34. The quackity exclusive - chuckle sandwich podcast
35. Disturbing health&beauty fads from the victorian era
36. Until dawn: the terrifying interactive horror movie (p sure it's rtgame's playthrough)
37. Last life episode 7 - OH NOOO!
38. Beyond two souls: david cage's biggest disaster
39. glitches galore! | hermitcraft 8 | ep 01
40. Fact-checking insane articles written about me (kurtis conner my beloved)
41. The internet's unknown predator
42. I beat skyrim in VR with 500+ mods
43. The thieves guild's weird little secret (oh tes lore my absolute beloved)
44. Dream's escaped prison Tommy's twitch
45. Quackity has a sleepover with georgenotfound
46. Quackity plays new jackbox games with ranboo, Wilbur soot & more
47. Disney's FastPass: a complicated history
48. Defunctland: the history of the worst seaworld ride, submarine something something idk
49. LOST was weird: a show no one wanted to make | billiam again
50. Minecraft has splashes now?
51. Sneegsnag reacts to what pretending to be crazy looks like (my favourite series ever lmao and this one's probably one of my favourite videos from it)
52. Just opened, Sneeg's recent JCS stream
+ a couple of tabs i just opened that are basically "the best Internet privacy browser". But here are all of my current tabs. There used to be more.
#Also i once closed 2.2k tabs on mobile but I've talked about it#Me ❤️ million tabs opened#And then i wonder why my pc is so laggy
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Favorite nosleep episodes
Hi!! I’ve been listening to a lot of nosleep but theres about 2000 episodes and I only like a handful of them, so heres my biased indefinite list of episodes I enjoyed. I’ll try to add the major triggers that I can remember. Definitely check the nosleep website for more triggers. I thought about tagging deaths too but tbh theres a lot of murder in the nosleep stories. I also considered splitting it between ‘not that scary/entry level stories’ and ‘actual nosleeps’ but horror is subjective. Note that all of these include a certain type of unreality, but that in some unreality is a stronger theme.
Long stories (specials are about 2 and a half hours long):
Whitefall - (not too scary imo) attempted harassment, isolated from civilization, cannibalism, psychological
My father finally told me what happened that day - (keeps me up at night) scopophobia, unreality/memory issues, stalking, crossdressing gay villain towards the end (but tbh problematic gay rights), kidnapping
The Hidden Webpage - (same author) scopophobia, unreality/memory issues, mistaken identity
Penpals - (spans over multiple stories, theres a full episode with all of them) scopophobia, stalking, pedophile, teen death (last episode), animal death (the ‘boxes’ episode)
Soft white damn series: 1. soft white damn 2. Sure to follow 3. Every leaf is a flower 4. The earth, the air, and you - body horror, unsettling noises, violence against women in later stories
Short stories:
Mr Banana - (ridiculous but still unsettling) body horror, self harm
Baked beans - breaking in
It’s locked - scopophobia, breaking in
The Mummer Man - body horror, torture, gore, unsettling noises (seriously this narration fucks with me fuck you peter lewis)
SS tribute - drowning/threats of drowning/hypoxia
Everything I know is a dream - accident (cant remember what exactly, car accident?), hospitalization, unreality
yourfaceyourporn - (no actual porn) scopophobia, violence against women, unreality/memory issues, mistaken identity(?)
The Tall Dog - child in peril, im sure theres another fear trigger for whatever the fuck that tall dog is
How to summon the butter street hitchhiker - implied suicides
ETAOIN SHRDLU - (not too scary imo) implied violence against women (I had to check its reddit page for more info), stalking
The Smiling Man - just a happy weird guy
The animals went in two by two - kidnapping(?), children in peril
Eater
Sanguine Libations - self harm, suicide, gore
Beyond Vantablack - unreality
The dirt road man - car accident
Honorary mentions:
Just pretty cool stories that I dont think are that ‘nosleep’ per se or didnt hit me that hard
The superbowl party - car crash, verbally abusive boyfriend/husband, excessive alcohol consumption
The name eater - (cool guy who eats names. more of a lore story)
The whistlers - (long story, I didnt think this one was all that special but a lot of people like it so i might as well add it)
Not all lighthouses are built to guide ships - (more of a standard monster story but still pretty good)
Theres probably more but I’ll add them if I can think of them
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v-force episode 2!
aaaaaaand we’re back! i’ve got chicken fried rice for dinner and i’m hungry for some beyblade content yim yum
THEY CHANGED THE OP!! okay i will give points to v-force for this one, the new visuals look great and they’ve got me hyped!! excited to see some familiar and new faces
(flashback from the last ep) “if you think you can win by the powers of your beyblade alone, you’re sadly mistaken.”
then what else, pray tell, is tyson supposed to win with? is he trying to get tyson to call out dragoon? or is he in the market for a bare-knuckle brawl in the middle of the dish?? hope it’s not the latter. this kid’s arms make me uncomfortable. waaay to muscular for someone who’s probably like 15-16. then again, weirder things have happened in beyblade, so...
anyway, back to this episode stuff. tyson wants a rematch, which is understandable, but im still hung up on the “how did he know my moves?!” thing which. c’mon man you’re the world champion! everyone and their grandma’s seen you battle, so why wouldn’t the guy know your moves?
although i guess that’s to make this mr x guy seem more intimidating. burnsopale talked about escalation when she was doing her 2000 liveblog, so my bet is this is v-force’s way of escalating when your mc is technically already at the top of his game. why not introduce some unknown competitor? what other choice did they have, really
also this isn’t me knocking v-force’s writing — i can’t really do that since this is only the second episode. consider this some thinking out loud, if anything.
MAX!!!!!!!!!!! god i’ve missed this kid. hope he’s doing alright.
i will say, for all the smack i’ve talked about the art style in this season, i think it works best on max out of the character’s we’ve seen so far. the big eyes and bright colors already fit him very well.
she’s dressed kinda like mr x so maybe they’re going to be introducing a new team?? i do like her design thus far even though i’ve only seen part of her head and a bigass hood. the hair and eye colors really work well together.
THEY’RE SO TINY???? god if only the bg artists had moved that window up just a little higher. i’m not complaining, i think this is adorable, but again! very jarring in comparison to season 1.
there are only so many times i can say i don’t like the 3d beyblades, so here i am using up one of my times. it’s not doing it for me. i miss the dramatic launches from season 1, man. feel like pure shit just want them back
dj khalid vc another one.
so we are getting a team, then. they don’t look like they’ve used bitbeasts (at least not yet?? maybe chief’s corrupted data has something to do with it), but it’s certainly an interesting way to introduce them.
and don’t get me wrong, im thrilled to see ray again too (love him, hope he’s doing well) but i don’t want this post to end up being a mile long. also if this means we get to see the white tigers again, i’m all for it.
the glasses falling down in shock is a good gag. i never really realized it, but we don’t get to see kenny emote like that very often.
so kenny narrowly avoids being the victim of a hit and run, but would you look at that! it’s the two guys from the last episode. does this mean they’re actually working with mr x? or do they have their own vested interest in him?? still a little too early to tell for sure, but im leaning towards the former.
max describes the girl’s beyblade as “having a mind of its own.” usually i’d say bitbeast, but it doesn’t look like she called anything out?? has her beyblade evolved to be capable of individual thought? has it gained sentience? jury’s still out on that one, at least for the time being.
see this is why you don’t give 8th graders bargaining power. also, i’m still not sure on why they added hillary except to give tyson a “rival” of sorts. that’s probably not the best word for it, but it’s the only one i can think of.
for the record, i don’t hate hillary. it’s too early in the season for me to actually say anything, i just hope she gets a little more bearable later on.
KENNY’S GOT PARENTS???? SINCE WHEN?? where were they when he was hauling ass around the world? also animation genetics have struck again, it seems.
also don’t talk to your mom like that kenny. jfc.
AN INVISIBLE BITBEAST?? YOU CAN DO THAT?? the only thing close we’ve gotten to that is bryan’s falborg from s1, and even then, you could still see falborg, you just couldn’t see the air it was using. is this even legal?? granted we’re not in a tournament setting right now, but i’m sure we will be eventually bc this is beyblade, after all. holy fuck.
so that’s episode 2! i will say, i was not expecting things to go this way. who is this mysterious team?? who were those guys in the van and what do they want? where’s kai?? i’ve got a lot of questions and unfortunately no more chicken fried rice. tragic.
sorry if this ended up being a little on the longer side! hope it was entertaining nonetheless.
#beyblade#v-force#snick's v-force liveblog#tyson granger#takao kinomiya#hillary tachibana#max mizuhara#ray kon#bladebreakers
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I wanna talk about Brawler and his misuse in Akudama as a black women. Because, I see a lot of hot takes but I don't think they get to the root of the problem and that is-
Realistically Brawler had no character and he was meant to die from the very beginning. I don't think that comes from a place of racism. I just genuinely believed its ignorance. Brawler ended up being a lot of people favorites mine included. The problem lies in the fact he got popular and as fans do you can fill in the blanks for his character. Make it better than what was given. People forget the strong idiot archetype is appealing.
Brawler character is a anime trope wrapped in a foil of a black asian character. Brawler never needed to be black to fulfill his character role. There are countless characters like brawler, who are just generic fight me anime characters light skin and all. (I also wanted to mention this isn't the first time. The creater of dangan ronpa has done this. Sakura is a literal dark skin asian women fighter. Who gets mistaken for a man even tho she is obviously a young women. I brought this uo because i feel like he should have learned a little. And i think he did but never gave enough thought to brawler character because he was ment to die anyway. That being said thats giving homie a lot of leyway. That im not really gonna give cause I don't forgive him for what he did to sakura. Brawler feels more like a writing oversight and less edgy early 2000s death game writing.)
The problem really hits it peak, when the black man dies first. So not only is brawler a generic anime trope wrapped around a black asian man. He also has the unfortunate event of also being a horror movie trope as well.
This all comes together as a big red sign that screams racist. You would think the creater who knows he has a giant western audience. Would take just a bit more care. Because, Brawler doesn't need to be a racist caricature. And most people wouldn't see if the fandom wasn't so small.
This brings me all the way around too-
Brawler character could have been kept the same IF only he was given actual character. The problem isn't his skin color (its part of it but not all of it). Its the fact he doesn't have one. The haha im strong, works because the shows gonna end after 13 to 15 eps. God help me if it gets a second season. And that its no one really gonna get that 25 ep treatment. (If it is suppose to get 25 eps i will delete this whole as thing cause their no excuse beside for brawler death in ep 6.)
If Brawler character had been better develop for before his death. It would have been less of a problem.
We can keep the parallels of 2 people forming deep bonds and the will to live. You can keep this is really implying love wink nudge in there. You can keep brawler imma strong man who is generally happy. If you only did one thing.
In the same setting where Swindler and Courier have their moment. Off to the side Brawler and Hoodlum have their moment.
After hoodlum doesn't get his ramen and ends up sharing food from someone else. Brawler-
Hoodlum has an honest moment of curiosity and ask Brawler.
Why do you like to fight so much? Or in my case what the fuck is your deal!? I wanna know please god answer me-
This simple question would not have only punched up his death. From a knife being shoved into my side. To going into full blown fetal position and crying.
Pick any answer and it would have cement Brawlers and Hoodlums relationship into the most fucked death scene in the show. Because it lines directly back into the Master executioner/ executioner parallel.
And I have some answers that would have been fitting. Because as a writer I live off making background storys for characters that have non. These are by most realistically could be canon too what I would write for my akudama drive fanfiction and no one can stop me.
1: Brawler has a death wish and it based around fighting.
Explanation: this really works with the idea that he simply says I enjoy fighting. It is his life and its all he knows. He would be happy going out while fighting. He has no family, no past, nothing tieing him to world of the living besides the blood pumping rush of someone fist colliding with his face.
2: He explains, he was part of group that did nothing but fight.
Explanation: this would give Brawler another parallel to the Executioner's. By explaining how the last group. Everyone died in it all by fighting or being killed. That he is the last living person from that group and wish to follow his brother moto to the very end.
3: (you could realistically dabble into cultural differences as it clear brawler is mixd raced. I say mixed race cause I hate how everyone kinda assumes the asian characters made by asian people are white. Well because brawler is black abd made by a japanese man who will never state his race. I go with mixed raced)
Brawler talks about how hes from a culture that is known for fighting.
Explanation: It could make Brawler deatg less of a sad note for him. Keep him smiling at the end. And more sad for hoodlum because he can't understand the cultural difference. Also it give Brawler a family and something that makes him different from the rest of the group. He doesn't die alone and you can add a religious edge to it.
4: Brawler explains he is a street kid and this is how he has survived all this time.
Explanation: The streets are unforgiving, and Brawler would not have made it this far if he hadn't learn how to fight. Fighting is surviving, sure you can be the smart. But that not gonna feed you nor stop you from getting your front teeth knocked into the back of your throat. He goes on to explain that he sees no point in the long plan. When his time has always been limited.
Anyone of these explanations or shit anything at all. Could have driven brawler character well past a racist depiction of a black mixed race man. Sure i would be upset that he died first. But i could rant for hours about his home life or anything besides what we're given.
Bonus only hoodlum would have this information and it would fucking destroy him. Everyone would think on brawler your so dumb. While hoodlums like thats a fucking lie hes acting. To him dying and hoodlum coming to terms with someone he bothered to get to know was so much more than people gave him credit for. Only for a child to under play that pissing him off more. Adding to his loneliness~
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modern au red/milo dump while i try to get myself together to answer asks nd work on ATJ:
(tw for alcohol mentions near the end, also this is an EXTREMELY long post, its so long that even after i split it into categorized sections each section could be its own post)
CLOTHING
milo absolutely has no sense of fashion. i feel like this is basically canon - for the styles at the time, he dresses fairly basic, mostly focused on looking put together for his job (definitely dresses aimed more towards how he would like to be treated by his peers, despite his actual position - then again our best example outside of the expedition is when he's about to deliver what he considers the most important presentation of his life, so who knows, maybe he usually dresses like a slob). aside from that his main concern seems like practicality and comfort. his wardrobe is dominated by earth tones - beiges and greens set with white and greys. all of that taken into account, i can see him dressing like this in a more modern era:
basically- a lot of cardigans, usually collared shirts or comfortable turtlenecks (since he does still occupy a research position at the smithsonian, even if only in title), big ol' coats, khakis and chinos and slightly stiff dress pants complete with ironed creases. i can see him wearing similar clothes outside work, just more comfortable - jeans and knitted shirts, henleys, more turtlenecks, and comfy cardigans over short sleeved shirts. i dont really see him wearing a lot of prints, i think he'd veer more towards solid clothes in lighter colors, but maybe he has a few. hes definitely the kind of guy to think of wearing the single graphic tee he owns as "bold and wild".
im very married to the idea of him wearing converse though. i cant explain it. milo in converse keeps me going in this world
hes kind of broke so i think maybe he got the converse secondhand maybe? or a gift of some kind. aside from the converse i can see him wearing a lot of oxfords and maybe wingtips
i want to see him in a hawaiian shirt so bad. i am losing it at this thought. he buttons it all the way up to his neck like someones awkward dad. milo wears a hawaiian shirt to "let loose". he wears it with like, khakis. or knee length jorts AHHHHDJHDSGJHDSJGh
a tie??? does he wear his hawaiian shirt with a tie???? does he think it makes it look cooler?????????? i am sobbing
red is the COMPLETE opposite. in the canon 1914 setting, red is already very rebellious for an AFAB person of their era- theyre openly a suffragette, they frequently refuse to wear skirts even in public and dress in mens clothes even before they were openly nonbinary, despite not being accepted into the male-dominated research fields and colleges they continue to educate themself with or without help, they purposely aim for an "unfeminine" silhouette when they dress, refuse to wear corsets, etc. (spoiler alert- there's a clear reason they get on so well with audrey in ATJ)
theyre also easily mistaken by people that didnt know them prior to their transition for being just a very small/young cis man- even though they canonically have a very soft "traditionally feminine" face
so basically, in any era theyre set into, red is always gonna aim to be ahead of the curve- both in their personal beliefs and practices and in their fashion. theyre also very androgynous in their clothes, although they tend to aim a bit more masculine (thats partially due to the era though, and having been forced into skirts exclusively for their entire life- i think in a modern setting where its more acceptable for AFABs to dress and act in a less hyperfeminine way, theyd be more okay with a fluidity in their gender presentation).
all that taken into account, i can see them dressing like this:
lots of baggy clothes, especially baggy jackets and shirts. they like loose fitting high waisted pants like JNCO jeans, cargo pants, etc but they arent averse to pencil legs. they rarely ever wear skinny jeans or drainpipes though. messy hair is a lifestyle for them- their haircut is definitely home-done
you know how in BICSTLY they used to have really long hair before they cut it? in a modern au i can see them impulsively doing the cut at like 3am and waking milo up at his door cause they screwed it up and he ends up having to help fix it (even though hes literally no better at cutting hair than them. worse even)
definitely have an undercut bob- bob on top, shaven on the bottom layer. they might end up growing their hair into a mullet at some point if they get bored. probably dyes their hair all the time out of boredom and then regrets it later and has to use dye remover.
lots of ripped tights and fishnets, leggings with big loose crop tops, big hoodies, safety pin jewelry and homemade jewelry. maybe some sticknpokes.
all that said, they still know how to dress in a professional situation. since its a modern au theres really nothing holding them back from the education and career they canonically want but cant get in the 1910s, so i imagine they would work at the smithsonian as well, maybe their father helped them get the job? potentially in that case they might be his assistant- after all, he trusts their opinion on artifacts more than anyone else's.
at work you can still very much see the punk/skater/grunge/goth style but its more understated- turtlenecks, high waisted and looser dress pants, lots of black, slightly unbuttoned collared shirts with a loose overcoat and no tie
since i elaborated on milos shoe taste i may as well elaborate on red's: they definitely wear converse as well, probably newer than milo's since their father is fairly wealthy and they can afford it. they also have a doc martens collection. they have a pair of demonias but they never wear them and milo is really the only person to even know they own them, let alone see them in them. they really dont like to wear heels much, but they own a few just to play around with. they have a bad habit of wearing any laced shoes untied, but they never trip over the laces. they also use lace code- their most-worn Docs have purple laces on the right foot and yellow on the left. some of their Docs have (reclaimed) pink laces.
has an extensive pin collection including feminism pins, anti-racism pins, punk-related pins, skater-related pins, and pop culture pins (80s music, modern music, old movies, etc)
MUSIC TASTE
milo's into a lot of older music- stuff from the 50s is his favorite. really into jazz and ballroom style stuff. his favorite band is queen, i think- he likes the old-fashioned sound, the jazz-chamber-ballroom influences, the diversity of their lyrics, and the complexity between the guitar riffs, the basslines, and freddie's vocal runs as well as the vocal harmonies.
sometimes he hums good old fashioned lover boy to red and they two-step in the living room in their pajamas :pleading:
also very into rush. yes, he is a rush guy :pensive:.
also listens to a surprising amount of lo-fi? he really likes stuff that remixes older music with hip hop and lofi elements, like earl grey. nearly exclusively into instrumental stuff but also very into louie zong. he listens to it while he works a lot.
knows a lotttt of foreign artists, especially niche ones. fuckin LOVES casiopea
red's spotify is a goddamn mess. everything from 2000s emo, to classic 70s punk, to post-punk and new wave, to 90s pop, to rap. they cant be easily classified at all
their favorite bands are oingo boingo, prince, queen (they listen to a lot of their harder-rock music, but milo knows theyre into the ballads too. theyll never tell anyone else though), doja cat, lil nas, fall out boy, and billie eilish.
red recites the intro monologue to lets go crazy very seriously to make milo laugh, sometimes. they get very into it with their facial expressions. sometimes it devolves into a full air guitar/keyboard/drum and wild dancing session. milo does not know how to participate in this but he loves watching them have fun with it. sometimes they pull him off the couch to make him dance with them, though
they are a huge sucker for dark pop, vaporwave, retrowave, EDM, hip hop, emo, punk... etc etc. anything that combines any two or more of those genres in an original or interesting way gets their attention right away
there's a lot of sharing between the two of them- even though their music tastes are so different, they like a lot of the others taste, and theyre always up to listen to whatever their partner is playing.
red is a huge softie, and milo has found them more than once listening to or humming something he was playing for them the other day because it reminded them of him
speaking of which- in the 1914 canon, red can play piano. i think that carries over to a modern au, where they could play piano and by extension keyboard. i like to think they experiment with a lot of instruments but i doubt they ever really mastered any others. maybe theyre okay at drums or bass?
they learned to play and sing teo torriatte for milo, as a surprise. when they first performed it for them, they had everything set up for when he got home from work- the lights were dimmed, they had candles lit around the keyboard, they draped stuff in cloth to make it look pretty, they scattered flower petals around. when milo walked in and saw it all, he almost proposed then and there- the only thing that stopped him was that he would kick himself for the rest of his life if he did that without a ring.
HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES
milo is still an avid chess player in this, but i like to think hes in some kind of groupchat or text or discord server for it. he doesnt necessarily consider any of the others in the chat close friends, but he does know them all by name
he tries to get red into chess but they never really get it
he tells them all about the stuff that goes down in the games and they just. do not understand. but they love listening to him get excited about it anyway
"red you're not gonna BELIEVE this, eddie played an italian game on star today! i thought for sure she would see through it since everyone knows it but she slipped and he beat her in like, 13 moves! i wouldnt have believed it if i hadnt been there!"
"yes sweetie please tell me more" (barely disguised pained expression)
red is a skater and a regular at the skate park by the smithsonian
most regulars there know them by name, they can spot a newbie a mile away
they have a sticker of a broken tv with a skull inside of it on the underside of their board, its become recognized as a symbol of them unofficially
since theyre so regular and have been going there a lot longer than most of the other skaters that frequent the place, a lot of what they say is kind of just accepted as the rules
they have a bad habit of lecturing new kids who show up without knee/elbow pads or helmets at the very least. all the other skaters enforce it too. kids dont end up showing up without protective gear very often after their first visit
they brought a first aid kid and left it there and everyone has kept it stocked pretty well without them having to have much input. its kind of just a communal first aid kit
they once drew the broken tv symbol on the inside of a half-pipe and everyone started calling it red's ramp after that
they also started calling the bowl at the center of the park the Soup Bowl and now thats just accepted as the name. some of the newer kids genuinely thought that it was called that by the park and were shocked when they found out it was just a random nickname red gave it one day
theyve brought milo a few times but hes extremely awkward on his feet and could never really get his balance on a skateboard, and quite frankly red is afraid of what might happen if he tried even a low ramp, so he usually just sits at the rim of the bowl while red skates around
everyone knew he was their boyfriend before they even met him. a few of the regulars called him by name right away. one of them was certain red had brought him before.
but no
they just talk so fuckin much about him that its like they already know him
aside from skateboarding, red is pretty good on rollerskates/blades
they tried to take milo to a roller rink once but it was a disaster and they ended up going home, changing into pajamas, ordering chinese food, and marathoning movies till they fell asleep on the couch together. so not a total loss
theyre both very into movies. red is deep into horror and milo likes indie/art movies and just Cannot handle horror at all, but they both agree on old movies, from the 80s and 90s to like the 30s.
red has shown milo some of the classic horror movies and the niche old ones (from like the 40s) since theyre not difficult to stomach
every so often when red brings up wanting to see a horror movie milo is like "aw babe we can watch that tonight i promise it wont be bad" and he genuinely thinks he can handle it this time
he cant
he never can
it is always a lie
red ends up holding him every time and talking him to sleep, but it thankfully never causes like a major panic attack or anything like that
they love going to museums together, of all kinds. they love art museums. they also go to aquariums and aviaries
sometimes they like to go to other history museums and criticise the veracity or accuracy of exhibits/translations, all in good fun of course. theyre never actually being mean about it
SIDENOTES/UNCATEGORIZED
they both used to work at starbucks, when they were younger and before they worked at the smithsonian. they worked at separate stores 2 blocks from each other.
milo cant stand soda or carbonated drinks, red can and will chug a java monster in order to survive a long workday if they must. milo is constantly concerned for their health and wellbeing
they r both lightweights when it comes to drinking. they can split a six pack and both be falling-over drunk by the end of the night.
given the changes in beauty standards people DEFINITELY think milo is more attractive than they would in 1914. cmon. hes a lil twinky nerd. you think people wont eat that up?
he never really catches onto the flirting much though
did u think i would forget ki/da and the others? youd be wrong.
i simultaneously like the idea of something similar to the movie happening, but also just like... ki/da just being a regular person living on the surface. in either case they r all friends still
in the case of ki/da just being a regular person on the surface- i like the idea of atl/antis just being A Place in this au, maybe its a bit of a closed off country though? like, not many foreigners live there and to get there you basically need to be there as a diplomat or a scholar
maybe ki/da visits DC as a diplomat? she is a princess, after all
red meets audrey online cause they both yell at the same misogynistic asshole on twitter
they exchange discord names in the replies of the tweet and tell the guy not to interrupt them while theyre talking in his replies
i like to think red and milo are selected to go on an academic visit to atl/antis (to learn about the culture, with permission of the king), and audrey ends up as the mechanic on the ship during the visit and theyre like (spiderman pointing meme) at each other
red and audrey have so many inside jokes that they basically speak a different language. milo gets some of the terms from context and pop culture (they use "so very" in real life- as in "wow, that shirt is so very.") but he is hopeless to learn all of it
one of their inside jokes is any variation of "milo hot girl summer" and they REFUSE to explain it to him no matter how much he begs
milo wears that iconique tank top on the ship and they say it literally any time he bends over, picks anything up, reaches for anything, moves, BREATHES. he is bewildered and at this point concerned
(in truth, the joke came from red taking a really blurry picture of him in a short sleeve shirt where he looked pretty cute and captioned it "milo's having a hot girl summer rn" and they just could not stop repeating it once audrey met him IRL)
they have a minecraft world. i do like to believe that every so often vinny finds a way in- theyre never sure how- and griefs the shit out of them by blowing up EVERY. monument.
this post is getting long bc im enraptured by the idea of an atl/antis modern au so im cutting it off here but expect WAY MORE later
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the pickup || claudia & jude
Discord thread featuring: claudia & @judetaylorhq
When: early morning Feb 27, 2020
Mentions: @cilliankelly
Description: jude surprised claudia by picking her up from work. claudia and jude make up.
TW: addiciton
Claudia.
Claudia took her time to get out of work. She even offered to stay and close. She had found that working and painting were the only two things that keep her stay distracted from using anything. She still had the itch, of course, and part of her believed that another relapse was just around the corner. BUT There was another small part of her that actually believed she was going to get better this time. Claudia put her winter coat on and headed out the front doors to hail a cab. She stopped before she could get to the curb when she saw Jude standing at the edge of the curb. She gasped because she was genuinely surprised to see him. “What the hell, Jude?”
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
Jude had never really been a patient guy, when he wanted something done he was a go and do it himself kind of guy. He didn't like to wait around and hope for things, hope had always been dangerous for him, he'd rather just know, and get things done, then have to wait. This situation with Claudia wasn't any different. He'd been thinking about her constantly, thinking about how much he missed being her friend, after all, that was why he had fallen in love with her in the first place, she was his friend, she meant a lot to him, she was important, that was a big part of why he felt so impacted by her all the time. When he felt betrayed by her, it only showed how important she was to him. He'd screwed up too though, he knew that, and after days of thinking it over, he knew it was time to fix things. To support her the way he kept saying he'd always wanted to, now that she was actually willing to accept some kind of help. He'd parked his truck and climbed out, waiting for her with his arms crossed over his chest and letting out a sigh when she confronted him, "Come on...I'm taking you home." He spoke firmly, holding out a hand to her.
Claudia.
There were a lot of things going through Claudia’s mind at she stared at Jude’s hand. Part of her wanted to scream, cry, and just run away. She wanted to just forget that he ever existed. It’d be easier that way, right? But it seemed like that wasn’t going to be possible. There was too much history between them. They’d been through so much together, that leaving each other now for good didn’t seem like something that was even possible. Clearly. There was also another part of Claudia that wanted to just pull him into a big bear hug and cry into his shoulder. He was always so good at that — Just holding her and letting her cry. She’d been doing a lot of crying lately, and having Jude around to comfort her was actually something that she thought she needed at this point. Claudia’s green eyes stared blankly at his hand for a few moments until she finally decided to take his hand and get into the car. She’s already regretted this decision, but part of her really did want to hear what Jude had to say. She just knew she had to keep her guard up, and she knew Jude might have been doing that exact same thing too.
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
Jude was surprised when Claudia took his head, she was stubborn, it was something he often admired about her, but he was glad when she did, they'd already taken a big step towards fixing things but her even getting into his truck and he helped her in before he climbed into his side and started it up. He'd pulled away from the curb before he spoke, formulating and reformulating his thoughts over and over again until he finally spat out the words. "Fuck, Claudia. How'd we get here?" He spoke quietly, calming, unable to glance over at her, afraid he'd lose it if he did. "I mean, fuck. You know how important you are to me...you have to know that."
Claudia.
Claudia pressed her forehead to the cold glass window like she was in a dramatic 2000s music video. She heard him get into the car, but didn’t make eye contact - she just kept her eyes on the passing city. She waited for what seemed like several minutes, which, in reality was probably only a few brief moments. The artist wasn’t expecting him to be so blunt right off the bat like that. She took a deep breath and turned towards her ex. She had been in the passenger seat of this car, looking at him from the angle countless times. This felt so different. He was right - how the fuck did they get here? “I thought I did, Jude.” She glanced at his side profile. Claudia honestly couldn’t even remember half the things she was mad at him about before. “I just...I don’t even know anymore. All I know is that im pissed off.” She confessed, switching her gaze back towards the window.
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
Jude nodded, he was pissed off too, but for different reasons he was sure, still, angry wasn't a new emotion for them, they both seemed to thrive off angry, righteous or otherwise. "I'm pissed off too." He spoke argumentatively, shaking his head as he drove, "I'm pissed off about...everything. I'm pissed off that I still give a fuck about you, I'm pissed off that you never took my help, I'm pissed off that you still...fucking..have a hold on me. I'm pissed that you lied to me." He groaned, he hadn't wanted to be combative for this conversation, but he had a lot to say apparently. "I just...there's nothing I want to see more than you better, but...fuck I'm angry, Claudia."
Claudia.
Claudia shifted her gaze to the road in front of them. She felt her chest tighten when Jude told her the way that he felt. She knew all of this, but it somehow still hurt like she was hearing this all for the first time. She knew she fucked up. She knew she’d hurt him more than she ever had before. She was surprised that he was still even entertaining the mere idea of Claudia’s presence. But when he told her that she somehow still had a hold on him, it started to make a little bit more sense. “Then what do you want from Jude? I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I said a lot of hurtful shit when I was mad, but I genuinely don’t know what else you could possibly want from me. I thought you wanted me to leave you alone so I did.” She then turned to look at his side profile again. “But then you show up here and have me confused as fuck.” She raised her voice a little so that she was stern, but she wasn’t exactly yelling at him either. Even though she wanted to.
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
Jude sighed, his eyes still on the road, unable to glance at her and risk losing it completely, he'd always said that being around Claudia clouded his judgment, and that still held true. He was at risk of forgetting all the reasons he was upset and melting into her eyes if he looked at her now, before he'd managed to say everything he needed to say. "I just want my friend back." He spoke gently, "Before I fucked it up, before I got insecure about you and Cillian. I feel like shit about not being here for you, you deserved better than that, Claudia. You deserved more, and I let you down. But you....you know why...why it's so hard for me to...watch you do this over and over again."
Claudia.
Claudia knew that she would always love Jude. She never stopped loving him, even when they broke up. Part of her didn't want to keep Jude around to watch her inevitable downfall again. Or at least that downfall that she assumed was going to be inevitable. She knew that that was a bad way to go into recovery...but she'd been here before. They've been here before. Jude more so than Claudia with his mom. She loved Jude, so did she really want to bring him into this? She should just let him go, right? So that he could live happily ever after with the person whom she used to consider one of her best friends. There was another part of Claudia that desperately needed Jude to get through this though. She knew for a fact that there was no way she was staying clean with Jude by her side. Claudia watched his side profile as he spoke, wishing he'd turn to her so that she could read the emotion on his face. "I know...I'm sorry. I understand...I understand why you said what you said. I don't know why I would expect you to expect anything else from me. I'm sorry."
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
"I expect things from you because I want better from you, Claudia." He sighed, "Fuck, Claude." He was trying to keep it together, but everything about this made him want to fall apart, but more than anything he wanted to fix it. He hadn't been lying when he said they needed her, maybe he'd just mistaken the context at the time. They did need her in their lives, she was like family to them. She was their best friend, and losing her had felt like something was missing. "How do I tell you I love you without giving you part of me that you might fuck over again?" He finally did glance at her, "Because I do, and maybe not in the way you want me to, maybe not in the way you need me to, but fuck Claudia...if I lose you again i'm going to go insane."
Claudia.
It didn't take Claudia a long time to start crying as soon as their eyes met. She felt heavy tears slide down her cheeks almost instantly. That hurt. It hurt like hell to know that Claudia had made him feel this way. She had done this to him. She had spent so long blaming Jude for something that he was doing just to protect himself from her. "I'm sorry...Jude, I miss y-you like hell. I'm so sorry that I did this to you...All you've ever done is protect me and care about me, and I have had a really shit way of showing you how much I c-car...well, love you." He deserved so much better than her. "And I'm sorry for blaming you for this when it was my own fucking fault."
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
Jude sighed, "No...that's just it. It's not all your fault. We all fucked up, because we're all fucked up. When we get upset we fuck up each other and I'm tired of that, you know? Like, why is it that we do that?" He sighed, Cillian and himself had somehow figured out how to work past that, they loved each other and managed to actually talk through things now, not like before, surely there had to be a way to do that with Claudia, to get past bullshit and to the heart of the matter. "I left you when you needed me most. I just thought if we weren't sleeping together you'd leave me. You'd leave us, and I was scared of that, and I let you believe something that wasn't true and fuck if that wasn't shitty of me. But I'm sorry, fuck I'm so sorry. I'll do better for you next time, Claudia, I swear."
Claudia.
This moment almost didn't seem real. It almost seemed like a vivid dream. She never thought that her and Jude would have this conversation. Claudia nodded her head slowly. "I don't want to fuck you up anymore. It's exhausting." Jude was right. Claudia did need him. Claudia didn't have a dad to call to when she needed help fixing the clogged sink, or how to do your taxes. Jude protected her and loved her the way that family would. He stuck by her the way that family would love each other unconditionally, even through all of their bullshit. "I'll do better too, Jude. I promise." She told him, wiping the thick tears that were ruining her makeup away. "And I won't leave you, okay? N-not again."
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
Jude let out a breath, feeling a sense of relief as he listened to Claudia speak, somehow knowing they'd be okay, at least they were talking, and that meant they could get through this together. "Fuck." He spoke quietly, reaching over and taking her hand, giving it a squeeze, "I want to be here for you. Even if we all fuck up again, I just want us to be here, together. We need each other. You know? He misses you like hell, and fuck I miss you too. You get us. We might be the only people in the world who understand each other." He pulled up outside her apartment and turned to her, "You deserve the best, you know that? I know I've not made you feel that, but I mean it. You deserve to be happy and get better and just..fuck...don't look at me like that." He laughed quietly, "You'll make my head foggy..."
Claudia.
Claudia finally smiled softly at him when she told him that she'd make his head all foggy. She squeezed his hand tightly and manage to let out a tiny laugh. She leaned over the center console once they were safely pulled over to the side of the road for a big hug, one she had been needing for a very long time now. She actually felt confident that she'd be able to get through recovery with Cillian and Jude by her side. Like they gave her some kind of super power or something. "I missed you both, too." She said into his shoulder, still holding onto him tightly for a long awaited embrace. "So much." Her heart suddenly felt full for the first time in a really long time.
𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟.
Jude nodded, smiling again when she did and pulling her close, hugging her tight and burying his face into her neck, "I mean it, I don't want to fight again." He whispered, finally pulling back a little misty eyed, "Fuck, we missed you too. We haven't done anything reckless sin god knows how long and honestly I think Cillian's starting to die inside." He teased, sure they'd actually been enjoying domestication but having Claudia around really did make them both happy, she brought a lightness to them that they sometimes missed with how intense their relationship could be. "Don't be a stranger, okay? If you need anything, lean on me. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere ever again." He promised, pulling back and pushing his door open, "Come on, let me walk you to your door."
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soup eater, Gimme the works (all of the)m
AUTISM ACTIVATED. ok fuck this is gonna be long. under the cut it goes
📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?
😔 i am an anime enjoyer sadly enough. theres also the manga but i havent read that SO im just gonna be focusing on the anime for this one. uhhh (digging through my brain) none of this is going to be worded intelligently im sorry give me a moment.
there are these kids and some of them can turn into weapons. actually theres just weapon people in general and thats like Normal. dont ask too many lore questions. and they uhhh the kids go to a high school called the DWMA (lit. demon weapon-meister academy) focused on keeping the balance between good and evil. i uhhhhh
The anime is based on the Soul Eater manga series by Atsushi Ohkubo. The plot of the episodes follows Maka Albarn, a "meister" of the Death Weapon Meister Academy (DWMA), and her living weapon, Soul Eater, as she seeks to make the latter into a "death scythe" through absorbing the souls of evil humans.
thanks wikipedia
📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?
uhhh if im not mistaken an old friend introduced me to it back in 2018!! (hi holly the chances of you reading this are slim but hi) and it recently bubbled back up into my brain. ive been here for 2 years :heart:
✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?
i think that drew me towards it initially was the very halloweeny, early 2000s feel to it (and.. fair enough, it WAS made in 2008-2009 so its authentic) but what kept me reeled in was a lot of the themes and symbolism that i am waayy too tired to get into rn but i am just telling you bro this anime hits.. a little deep
and also canon nonbinary (even if shoddily translated at first) and psychotic characters win
🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?
i DO but i am keeping this spoiler free for you wife. these are all tearjerkers anyways so
🎶 if your hyperfixation has songs/an ost, what is your favorite song from it?
just one? 🥺 honestly the anime’s entire OST goes hard as hell and its super hard picking favorites but here:
LOTUS JUICE - PSYCHEDELIC SOULJAM DJ SHINYA - NEVER LOSE MYSELF LOTUS JUICE - STEP UP
and this one isnt part of the ost butttt....
CHIAKI OMIGAWA/KOKI UCHIYAMA - SOUL EATER CHARACTER SONG (Soul&Maka) - MAUVE IRO NO SYMPATHY
💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!
i could say crona and talk about their character development and how much i see myself in them and how we share the same trauma. or i could say maka and talk about HER character development and how i see myself in her in the sense of always trying to be good enough and pushing her limits to be strong and resilient in the face of everything. or i could say stein and go in depth about how hes written as a psychotic character while still not letting that define his entire being and how much i see myself in HIM. or i could talk about kid and liz and patti a
💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.
🏳🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?
lesbian maka, trans/intersex/nonbinary/lesbian crona, transmasc blackstar, nonbinary kid... literally all of these kids are neurodivergent (i see myself in them moment part 3845875)
🍀 do you have any kins or comfort characters from your hyperfixation?
that’s a little personal don’tcha think?
all jokes aside i don’t think i “kin” but uhhhh. honestly most these characters are comfort characters to me. soul eater in general is comfort media
💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?
*does a silly little dance* OHKAY!
none of the soul eater games (there were 3 of them) were ever released outside of japan
black☆star is voiced by women in both the jp and eng dubs
maka was chiaki omigawa’s first VA role
💢 what do you NOT like about your hyperfixation? is there something you would want to change about it?
this isnt anime specific and i am thinking heavily of the manga crona boobage weirdness but every time atsushi ohkubo writes something weird with these characters i feel like this image. it fills me with primal rage
anyways thanks for listening this took me over an hour to write amd i kept bouncing around my room because i am so autistic and this series makes me so happy
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Life, For Dummies p13
a/n: short and sweet cause i ain’t posted in weeeeeksss???? i’m so sorry. i slammed together a bunch of chapters, cause im out of braincells. i think this will be only a 15 part story now. not a 20. oof. enjoy??
You woke up on the floor, the Master still with you by your newly-immortal side. He wasn’t unconscious anymore, but he had his eye closed and pressed to you into his side, protectively. It was cute. No matter how strong and powerful or immortal you were, you still were his little pet. You smiled and curled into his side. It wasn’t a bad place to be. You were warm and safe. All those creature comforts espoused in those cheesy early 2000’s rom-coms? Yeah you had them, but you didn’t think whomever wrote or directed them imagined this when they thought of future domestic bliss.
You laughed internally. You wanted to lay there forever, feeling the universe twist and shift under your bodies. It was relaxing, but insane. An ASMR video on crack.
You fell back asleep right now. Letting your newfound sensations course through you to a different type of mental lullabye.
You woke up in the safety of your bed and the comfort of your duvet. The Master was showering in your en-suite. You could see through the open door and glass his body glistening with soap. He had an excellent bottom, and if you weren’t mistaken, your vision was much better. His body was great in the new light of your immortal eyes.
You made a mental note to giggle your ass off about the whole vampiric metaphor.
You had time to.
Time was infinite to you at this point. Forever stretching forward in an upward path.
You would be immortal, young, and fresh forever.
Along with your Master.
You let that sink it.
You were a universal queen. Your reign is indefinite.
Then you had a wicked idea. You walked out of the bed and slid over to the shower quietly. No sound from you or your breathing issued from your body. You slowly tore your clothing off.
You slid open the door and pressed up against him, pressing your skin again against his wet skin. Your breast against his shoulder and back as you spanked his ass and motivated him to the corner seated area. You sat him down and straddled his body and braced yourself on the support rack above him. You nipped at his ear and whispered, “I’m going to fuck you to bits.” Solemnly into it. Your jaw barred a bit as you ground yourself onto his already aroused prick. His face trembled for his beloved and the fact that you were powerful, more so than ever.
You were surprised by how much he enjoyed letting you play the leader. His eyes were possessive and yet possessed. Totally won over by you, not just this you, but you in all your glory. Past, present and future. His cock felt heavy and more pulsing that ever, buried within your cunt. You milked him dry and let yourself off him.
You finished up cleaning him and yourself off.
Fresh day for a fresh you.
As you got dressed in a nice off spaghetti strap purple jumpsuit and a pair of kitten heels and helped him into a suave typical suit.
You couldn’t believe that you were like him.
You could, but it was making you giddy. Heightening your sensations and even the pleasure you got from sex. Your body was a live wire.
And you were going to fully embrace it.
#personal#i wrote this#dhawan!master#dhawan!master x reader#dhawan!master x you#the master x reader#doctor who self insert fiction#yeet#im out of braincells
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album review #1 - the reve festival: day 1
red velvet’s sixth ep - the reve festival: day 1
ahh, the infamous start of the reve festival trilogy. this album sparked interest in many with its enticing title track ‘zimalabim’. with only 6 tracks making up about 20 minutes, the album has gotten some mixed reviews ever since it was released.
track 1 - zimzalabim
oh, zimzalabim, people don’t seem to appreciate your greatness. the song starts off with a peculiar introduction. the mix of instruments is something i’ve never heard before. it’s so thrilling and suspenseful, the bell ringing while you wait in anticipation. red velvet definitely made their point across with this carnival/circus concept because this song sounds exactly like a song you’d hear at a festival. the thing i love the most about red velvet other than their versatility is the fact that all of their voices seem to be in harmony in every song. it’s like they were sculpted to fit one another. now the chorus,,, is something you wouldn’t expect. many people have described it as ‘cult-like’ (the lyrics suggest something of that sort as well,,,,) or ‘repetitive’, but i believe it’s perfect for this type of song. a part i want to highlight is the bridge of zzb. it’s so,, mystical and harmonious. it’s such a big change from the original song, but it works fantastically well. everything about it is *chef’s kiss*. the lyrics are also something that should be noted,
“Look at your eyes filled with hope (They're shining like a gem) Oh don't wander aimlessly so far away (You're dazzling, smile more brightly) The dream is inside you.”
irene and yeri’s harmonization,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, extraordinary <3
over all, this song is one of their best songs because of its creativity and just how well everything flows despite being a bit messy.
i’d give it a 9.5/10
track 2 - sunny side up!
sunny side up! is undoubtedly one of red velvet’s best b-sides to date. its reggae themes bring me back to a time that never existed. the chorus is the highlight of this whole song, with red velvet singing in unison as the hypnotizing instrumental plays in the back. sunny side up stages>>>>>> yeri and wendy carried this song imo,,,
10/10 for sure, nuff said
track 3 - milkshake
this song went viral a while back for its questionable lyrics. aha, i’ll let you be the judge of that. words cannot explain my love for this song. it’s heavily vocally focused and gives each girl a time to shine. i definitely think wendy shines in this song, especially around the beginning. it’s so sexy and chill without trying to be. heaven,,,, milkshake’s chorus is so addicting and flows so nicely. one thing red velvet does best is singing as a group. something i’ve noticed in their songs compared to other bands/groups is that red velvet never necessarily have solo parts in the chorus, they sing together. it definitely shows their chemistry musically.
a DESEVERED 10/10
track 4 - bing bing
this album is CRAZY good. i physically dance every time i listen to this song because it’s so electrifying. it reminds me of some type of 2000s hit. if you’re into songs from that era you’ll understand what i’m talking about. it has this certain vibe to it. something comparable to the spice girls. let’s talk about seulgi in this song for a second,,,, her voice + this song = a match made in heaven. it’s also very different from traditional korean music,, i think it may have some afrocentric beats if i’m not mistaken.
9.5/10. red velvet has proven themselves worthy of being the best girl group ever
track 5 - parade
IM CRYING THIS SONG IS SO !!! it sounds like the ending to some type of upbeat tv show. it starts off slow but then eventually gets faster. i think this song captures everything the reve festival: day 1 album is. it’s optimistic and sounds extremely unique. if i had to choose, i’d choose parade for the catchiest song off the album. you can’t help but clap along to beat while listening to it.
easy 9/10. it is a crazily underrated red velvet b-side
track 6 - lp
miss wendy said this was her favorite song off the album for a reason !!! it seems as if they used elevator music for the beat which i LOVE ! super creative and sounds amazing. joy in this song>>>> her voice suits lp so well,, and the chorus is CRAZY. this is another song only red velvet can pull off. every reveluv will tell you that lp is one of red velvet’s best b-sides. i don’t make the rules :) it’s true ! ALSO !!!!!!!!! lp is SO well thought out. when it first starts, you hear generic elevator music, signifying that you have just entered the elevator. at the end of the song, we hear the music die down and there’s a ding signaling that you’ve arrived at your destination. it’s so clever because it’s also,,, tHE LAST SONG OFF OF THE ALBUM !
10/10 UNTIL THE DAY I DIE.
this is my favorite album for a reason, each song sounds so different, yet they tie in together so well. it’s a rollercoaster of emotions from the first song to the last. over all, i’d give this album a 10/10. it’s definitely one of the best albums red velvet have release TO DATE.
thank you all for reading, peace out.
sincerely, aya <3
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Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2!
Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.
[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]
It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.
Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that -> ……
Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image
Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote
Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.
SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT
……………………………………………………………………………………………
I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.
IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is!
So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao
In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation.
blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV
He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.
This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.
TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc
This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it
I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.
The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.
A+ dialogue
Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken.
“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.
So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.
I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh
Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.
After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.
“Tell us about the picture thief.”
“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”
You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.
Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like
The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.
In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.
God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.
Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.
We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...
Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.
SKATEBOARD
“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”
Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?
Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!
So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....
But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!
FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW
HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days
Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.
Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!
The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.
These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.
Chicken wuss
WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.
This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING
DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!
Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.
Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL
SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while
IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?
I'm not funny.
Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]
Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.
youtube
#mellz plays kh2#Kingdom Hearts Series#kingdom hearts 2#kh2#PlayStation 2#square enix#disney#mellz post
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Okay but 6-60 tho?
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?
very much so. i guess it kinda depends on the person and the situation but most of the time yes
7. what was your life like last year?
easily one of the worst years of my life 😎
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
yes im a full time crybaby when im not numb from antidepressants
9. who did you last see in person?
my friends in class today
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
i don't think so lol, especially not from people who know me well
11. are you listening to music right now?
no i'm not im so sleepy
12. what is something you want right now?
a fucking kiss from them >:(
13. how do you feel right now?
soft and slightly worried
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?
15. personality description
am i supposed to know how to answer this 😭 im just dumb
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?
yes like everyday
17. opinion on insecurities
we all have them and i don't think it's possible to ever get fully rid of them. like they'll just be there so i think it's better to focus on accepting yourself instead of running around trying to fix them
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?
i don't think i actually do, at least not much. i do always miss how things were but i think im doing much better than last year
19. have you ever been to new york?
no 😌
20. what is your favorite song at the moment?
4th and Roebling by the Districts
21. age and birthday?
am 20, my birthday is 4th of december
22. description of crush
too hot to be talking to me
23. fear(s)
i have a phobia of eyes lmao that's basically it
24. height
164 cm or 5'4
25. role model
my sister she's a living legend
26. idol(s)
i don't have any i just exist
27. things i hate
most things and most people
28. i'll love you if...
you make time for me and show me that you care <3
29. favorite film(s)
basically any 2000s romcom movie
30. favorite tv show(s)
american horror story?? i think??
31. three random facts
1. these questions
2. are so
3. fucking difficult
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?
i feel like it's pretty much 50/50
33. something you want to learn
sewing :')
34. most embarrassing moment
literally these past 20 years
35. favorite subject
i assume we're talking school subjects so bio/chem
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?
travel, move to a cabin in the woods and be happy i guess lmao
39. favorite sport(s)
running i love running
40. favorite memory
i have so many!! one of my favorites is last year when i visited my sister who lives on the other side of the country lol
41. relationship status
single
42. favorite book(s)
human acts and the white book by han kang (basically everything from her i love her style of writing) and lord of the flies by william golding
43. favorite song ever
bohemian rhapsody will be forever iconic and no one can change my mind.
44. age you get mistaken for
16 apparently ;_;
46. what my last text message says
it's not in english but it says "to the roof" 💀
47. turn ons
being caring and respecting my boundaries lol
48. turn offs
not being caring and disrespecting my boundaries lol
49. where i want to be right now
in their bed probably lmao
51. starsign
sagittarius
52. something im talented at
annoying people
54. something that's worrying me at the moment
people
56. favorite food(s)
sushi <3
57. favorite animal(s)
i love all animals <3
58. description of my best friend
basically me but the less unhinged version
59. why i joined tumblr
i was just a young, impressionable 12 year old. instant regret.
#writing this at 11pm gave me serious brain damage#skipped some too because im tired#whoever asked for this im holding a grudge#my asks
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