#I think I'm having a nervous breakdown

[blueeyeddarkknight]

Some of my favorite Val moments from SNL .. He's so funny! 😍🤣 I miss his skits!

(source: snl archives)

[mrbexwrites]

Just sat down and wrote 1.6k on a random WIP that popped into my head. Without a plan. Or weeks of research. Or even character names.

I haven't even finished my current WIP.

What's wrong with me? Is this how the pantsers amongst you do it? How you you people live?

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

i stand with you in the face of a defensive misunderstanding of what critique is.

i think understanding what a critique actually is is a skill that increasingly is not taught. i remember going through freshman art courses feeling the frustration that all negative, nasty, unhelpful, and missed-the-point-entirely feedback is so commonly conflated with critique, and then critique gets a bad name because everyone remembers the time someone said their painting looked like an asshole (true story, altho now i think i would take it as a compliment) instead of the time a teacher or friend or classmate helped them uncover a hurtful bias or think of new ways to explore the same idea or how to connect it to related ideas or how to look up and understand other people's ideas on the same topic.

anyway i think you're great.

ahhh you're so kind to me!! i appreciate your support, and i think you are great also.

i have experience with giving and receiving critique as a student myself, and i think it was the best part of my degree! i majored in creative writing in college, and critique was just a generally accepted part of learning to become a writer. i don't even remember people being especially worried about receiving critique on their work. we had guidance on what kind of feedback was useful, but we were still at liberty to give it as we saw fit as like messy 19 year olds. the standard was that we gave it both written on printed copies of the work AND aloud in front of the whole class, and the writer receiving it was not permitted to speak during the critique. understanding how people are perceiving your work is important!

i don't have any particularly negative recollections of the critique process, although once in a high school writing class, the boys in the class told me that my male characters touched each other too gently and real boys are more rough with each other. in particular, they took issue with me writing that one boy nudged another. nudging is too soft. nudging is for girls. that was more than 20 years ago, and i still think about it sometimes because it was such an interesting perspective! i did not take their advice, though.

i should dig up that piece and see if it reads queer in any other ways. i think that's what they were getting at. (actually i once had a non-fiction class tell me i was in love with my roommate after reading an essay i wrote about her)(i did not listen to that advice either, but having 12 acquaintances tell you that you're gay in 2006 before you realize it yourself is Truly Something!)

i think people have conflated criticism and critique and think that being more openly analytical is the same thing as being negative. but analysis is so fun to me! analysis is why i joined fandom in the first place, and it's why i write fic! can we trust each other to be respectful and to speak in good faith even when we're not singing each other's praises? for me fandom would be better if we could.

oh i also want to clarify that i don't think it's impossible to demonstrate that you've thought deeply about a piece of fanwork while remaining completely positive. people do it all the time and do it very well!

i know i sometimes have tunnel vision wrt my own perspective. in a lot of situations, i wish it were more acceptable to be more direct, and i know people sometimes find the way i express myself to be kind of shocking. i know a lot of people like to be spoken to more indirectly than comes natural to me, and i don't mean to imply that my perspective is the only correct one or that there's no good reason to err on the side of gentleness/politeness in our responses to amateur art and writing. i just think that at a certain level of circumspection, it feels like we're all holding each other at arm's length.

i think for people who can't bear to feel exposed, making and sharing art is always going to be painful and difficult, and maybe too painful and difficult to enjoy the process unless they're sure of a soft landing. but like. the rewards of being loved only come after the mortifying ordeal of being known, right?

[eatspiderss]

Anotha Spot post because I'm actually here to spread Nelward propaganda go listen to Eat Your Dreams by Nelward or anything by Nelward (also this song fits him very well maybe I'll post my lyric breakdown)

[theragamuffininitiative]

.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Obligatory Disclaimer #1: Yes, there is a lot of misogyny in the way people talk about the "likability" of female characters. Women in stories can and should be complex, flawed, nuanced, and human, not (just) "likable" (or "sexy" or "mother" or whatever other one-dimensional trope).

Obligatory Disclaimer #2: Yes, I know that an opinion expressed by a character in a story is not necessarily being supported by the narrative itself, or the author, and that people with piss-on-the-poor reading comprehension get this wrong. Good reading comprehension means being able to tell the difference.

Now that we've got that out of the way.

Doesn't it seem like "Female characters don't have to be LIKABLE, you illiterate misogynist!" is often a Privileged Feminist way to silence criticism of... very mainstream bigoted attitudes being presented uncritically in the narrative by being put in the voices of designated "unlikable female characters"?

I love a complex, nuanced, flawed female character. I love an outright villainous female character. I love a character whose flaws and prejudices are slowly picked apart by the narrative. I do not love having the classism, sizeism, and ableism I deal with every day served back to me in Feminist Fiction.

I do not love trying to point out "Hey, this award-winning book you all love, I don't actually like the way the protagonist talks about the working-class fat man. Or the younger woman with anxiety. Or the acquaintance with a disabled child and, like, linoleum floors or something." (Why do I just have all those examples at the ready?)

And being met with "Female characters don't have to be LIKABLE, you illiterate misogynist. Try reading some Serious Literature instead of your fanfic romance YA smut beach reads!"

"Uh, okay, well, it's not so much about the character being likeable as about the way the narrative doesn't seem to challenge the character's, I must reiterate, very widely held prejudices, that makes it seem less like a depiction of a flawed character and more like an uncritical replication of those very widely held prejudices --"

"It's a LITERARY PERSPECTIVE, GOD, didn't you go to SCHOOL? Do you think Lolita is a love story? Do you think Fight Club is about how awesome fighting is?"

"Well, no, but, for example, the way the character was so emotionally abusive to her fat daughter and her neurodivergent son --"

"Uggggh, you don't understand ANYTHING, women don't have to be PERFECT MOTHERS, she's supposed to represent HOW REAL WOMEN FEEL in the face of UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF PERFECT MOTHERHOOD!"

"So... the unquestioned-by-the-narrative elitism, classism, sizeism, ableism, and ageism are supposed to be... going against societal expectations?"

"OBVIOUSLY! That's how REAL WOMEN REALLY FEEL!"

"I'm a real woman, and I don't feel that way."

"UGGGGGH, YOU ILLITERATE MISOGYNIST, FEMALE CHARACTERS DON'T HAVE TO BE RELATABLE!"

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) lawrence trying to give adam the confidence to go back to school and be the vet he wanted to be only for adam to tell him he's happy as he is. he's got hobbies, slightly better friends, not to mention a hot alpha doctor boyfriend. and lawrence keeps pushing until adam shuts him up by wrapping his arms around him and standing on tiptoes so he can kiss lawrence's scent gland.

"or you could let me stay home and make a big nest we can fill with pups. i think i like that option better, doc. don't you?"

and lawrence tries to argue his point, really, but. adam is really good at deterring him. he's had a lot of practice

[cirilya]

Why do i always relate to anyhow repressed male characters. I'm just a teenage bisexual girl but clive durham i get you on a spiritual level pls never forget that.

[timandlucy]

I don't know if my body at this point is just like... Oh it's Sunday, we cry on Sundays right? 😂

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

this is going to be the least popular or relatable thing i've ever said, but since i keep it real on this blog: i finished s1 of ajlt earlier, and i am actually enjoying this show a lot, i find it very cute and charming and a pleasant fun-watch with a nice melancholy streak.

throw your rotten tomatoes at me if you must!!!!!!!!!!! i understand!!!

[mysticfemme]

trying to get a job but I keep getting rejection after rejection :D I'm so sick of spending afternoons writing silly little personal statements for a company I know is going to reject me the second they see my tumbleweed looking cv

[niallandtommo]

.

[gollumpanties]

well i'm so overwhelmed i just burst into tears ✌️

guess i'm not getting anything else done today. i have Reached My Limit.

[liebelesbe]

I think the reason I'm still so weird about my lesbianism irl is because I came out before I was ready. I told myself I should just "get it over with", but it feels like somebody reached inside of me and pulled out some important organ that to this day feels like an open wound.

[theirwolfbicanthrope]

to any of my followers who might have rented cabins in recent years - did you use a specific site or service/company for that? hubs and I are thinking of taking a couple of days in Oct/Nov to rent a nice isolated cabin and just kind of, take a break from everything - sm, work, family, etc. - because we are both very, very burnt out and overwhelmed and have like, zero privacy and alone time or time to shut down completely due to our living circumstances. would love any advice/suggestions. airbnb/verbo or whatever make me nervous but if you have had positive experiences let me know? pls and thnx <3

[bloomingsalma]

it's seven degrees out today and the sun is actually out :o idk though if I should go out for a hot girl walk or stay in all day to work on my essay 😔