#I think I’m starting to get a fear of doctors appointments this is far from the first time it happened

[theforesteldritch]

Me when I’m in a being weird and hurtful about intersex people competition and my opponents are several of my doctors and or medical imaging techs

[sniigura-archive]

I am yours, but are you mine?

Adam x fem!reader

Summary: You wish Adam could calm his temper down, since you fear he has ruined everything. And they say you’re a bad decision maker.

Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3

tw/cw/notes: COLLEGE AU, sub adam, overstimulation, bondage, rubbing clothed bulge against foot (footjob?), soft dom reader, TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ABUSIVE ELEMENTS, Anger issues, implied trauma, poverty mention, please tell me if i have missed smth!!!. TW Adam, misogynistic ideas and views, emotional abusive elements, breeding kink and pregnancy mention

Trying to get out off Adam`s tight grip sure was a hassle. The alarm you set was able to ring for a split second, before Adam turned it off. With the way he wrapped himself around you, you knew he hoped that it didn't wake you. Unlucky for him, you have been half awake for solid 30 minutes now.

Adam was laying on his side, while you were on your back. He was nuzzling his nose into your hair, while his legs and arms were wrapped around you. What a sap. His body hair was scratching you slightly.

“..We need to get up.” You didn't even know if he had classes for the day. He groaned like you just stabbed him.

“Jus` skip for the day. `S not like you’re failing any classes.” He mumbled into your ear.

“Don’t have any classes. I have an Obgyn appointment and have to work a shift.” You simple answered him.

At the mention of the doctor appointment he perked slightly up. Ah shit. You slapped his arm and dug your nails into his skin, remembering how unsafe you were yesterday.

“If you get me pregnant I’m going to make you suffer. I swear on that.” You gritted your teeth at him.

Adam simply chuckled at you, “It takes two to fucking tango, baby...Oh Adam, please Adam!” In the last sentence he pitched his voice higher and imitated your moans. “How could you expect me not to creampie you when you fucking beg so sweetly?”

“…I’m going to bit your dick off.” You flashed your teeth at him.

“Yeah? Didn’t think you’re that damn kinky.” He grinned at you, “Don’t fucking worry, babe, we will pick you up some fucking plan b later.” You’re starting to take that shit like candy. Still, it made you relax.

“..Thank you.” You whispered out, cuddling up against Adam’s chest.

Adam’s hands started to wander across your body, petting you and massaging your body, you were still wearing the bathrobe without anything under it “Whatever you fucking want, you get.” He mumbled in your ear, before kissing your cheek, then your nose and finally your mouth.

What a man.

“I wanna get up.” You whispered out against his mouth. Adam sighed heavily and rested his forehead against your shoulder, “I lied, you will only get nearly fucking everything you want.”

You scoffed at his words, but you couldn’t help but still smile. You raked your fingers through Adam’s hair, your fingers massaging his scalp. You swear you could hear him purr.

“So I only get what’s best for you, basically?”

“ ‘M happy you’re such a smart fucking girl. You catch on sooo damn fast.” He kissed your shoulder, before sitting up. He dragged you up with him.

You both sat propped up against the bed, side on side. Adam’s big arms were wrapped around you, rubbing circles into your skin. He leaned his head on top of your own.

“When is your appointment?” Adam threw the question into the comfortable silence.

“Uhh, hmm, at 12 and my shift starts at 1.” You tried to wrap the over sized robe around you. Part of you knew that Adam already saw everything, the other part of you wanted to hide away.

Adam’s fingers danced across your naked thigh, “You trynna hide away from?” His lip brushed against your ear.

You jolted up, deciding that it’s time to get up. Before you could get far away, Adam grasped your waist into his hands and he pulled you towards him. He settled you between his legs, while wrapping his arms around you. He nuzzled your neck with his nose.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay in fucking bed with me for the day?” His voice was gravely since you both just woke up. It made pure pleasure pool in your stomach. He was really seductive, starting to kiss your neck.

“..Yeah, I’m sure.” Your voice was everything but certain. If he asked you one more time, you were sure you would never leave this bed again.

Adam gave your cheek a last kiss before unwrapping his arms from your mid section. He went to rub your hips, “When does your shift end?” You lean your back against his broad, naked chest.

“Depends on how well we get stuff done during the day. Like, 8:30?” It sounded more like a question than an answer, but Adam didn’t complain. You work at the only music store in town, something your ex used to marvel at since you could reserve him whatever he wanted.

“..Do you even know where I work at?”

Adam scoffed at you, “Of fucking course I do.”

…How though? But you also knew there were questions you didn’t really want the answer to. Let’s just blame everything on your ex and his big fucking mouth.

“Now,” Adam went to squeeze your tits through the soft material of the bathrobe, “flash me a fucking tit so I can get through the day.”

Oh, you hated him.

You went to elbow Adam’s stomach while you felt yourself getting flustered. Fighting through his arms you set yourself down at the edge of the bed. Looking to your left, where Adam was still propped up, he was smiling at you. Unlike you, he wasn’t flustered in the slightest.

“What’s your secret? How do you never get flustered?” You decide to ask Adam. He raised a pierced brow at you.

“Babe, you think I never lose my mind around you?” Adam sat up more, throwing one leg over the bed while leaning over to you, “Every time I see you, I have to do shitty breathing exercises so I don’t rip your clothes off.”

Your heart speed up to an unhealthy degree.

“I’m going to go into cardiac arrest because of you.” You decided on telling him, while trying to hide your face away behind your hand. Avoiding his golden eyes, you decide on looking away. Man, does he have many guitars and band posters plastered everywhere.

“Awww, my poor baby. Is your heart going crazy for me?” He cooed at you condescendingly.

“Shut up.” You told him, oh so intelligently.

Reaching out towards him, you placed your hand on his chest, over his heart. Feeling the strong and fast paced beating of his heart behind his chest calmed you down. So he is as nervous as you. Or he’s just excited.

Adam placed his own hand on your chest, over your heart. It thrummed against his hand. You made a fist on Adam’s chest,

“The heart is as big as a fist….” You mumbled out, remembering the fact from biology class in elementary school. Your fist looked comedically small on Adam’s chest, the thought of Adam having such a small heart made you smile.

Adam formed his own hand into a fist, over your chest. Shit, it’s big. Ah.

“..You got a big heart, huh?” You asked him, with a smile.

Adam moved his hand from your chest, to your own hand. He was able to completely wrap around his own hand over your fist. Your heart fluttered uncomfortable in your chest, like a flighty bird. He moved to kiss your hand gently.

“….Need that big heart, baby, to be able to pump my massive fucking dick full with blood.” Ah. Fucker.

“Alright.” You shook your hand out of his. Way to ruin a moment.

You moved to stand up, stretching out your arms over your head.

“You know, I never told anyone this, but my dick’s so goddamn big, when I get hard I get fucking light headed. I swear! S’cause all my blood goes into my big dick. Did I mention how fucking hung I am, yet?” He told you proudly, still sitting on the bed.

You scoffed at him, but you couldn’t help but laugh at his words. Making your way to your bag, you fished out your panties. Hearing Adam get up from the bed, you decide to focus on getting dressed. Damn, Adam properly folded your clothes into your bag. You didn’t think Adam knew how to fold clothes. Why’s he better at packing your bag than you are?

Slipping into your panties, you decided to see what Adam was up to. He stood a few meters away from you infront of the window, watching you with keen eyes.

Adam was a beautiful man, you could appreciate that much. The warm light from the window illuminated his broad form and light brown olive skin. It bundled up around his head, reminding you of a halo. His build made you think of that of a football player, who can’t say no eating out. He was rubbing his jaw while smirking at you.

He looked away for a moment, showing off his side profile. His roman nose shape fit him incredibly well. What it would feel like to sit on it?

While he was looking away, you took the opportunity to put your focus back on getting dressed.

Rummaging through your bag some more, you pulled out your jeans, tank top and sweatshirt. Throwing on the tank top and then sweatshirt, you jumped into your jeans. Literally. Adam was busy getting dressed himself. He seemed to contemplate which hoodie he should wear.

Poking his side, you stood behind him, while he stood in front of the closet. He startled a bit at your sudden appearance, but quickly relaxed again.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a tattoo.” You say, your eyes focused on the space below his nape.

It’s small, easily hidden by shirts and tops. There were delicate wings engraved into his skin, spanning across his trapezius. But at most it was 12 centimetre wide. With such a flashy guy, you expected the wings to cover his whole back.

Adam simply hummed, “I would ask you if you had a tattoo, but, babe, I saw every inch of that fuckable body. Can’t fucking hide much from me.”

Rolling your eyes at him, you dragged your nails down his back, over the scratches you left. Stepping towards his side, you took a good look at the marks you left on his neck. Damn, it’s like a painting.

“You sure you don’t want to wear a turtleneck?” You asked him, while gently grazing your fingers over the hickeys and bit marks you left.

Adam puffed himself up, like a peacock. His proud smirk stretched across his plush lips,

“Nah, I’m going to wear these like fucking war paint. You don’t want me to show off the evidence off our hot as hell fuck session? You marked me up pretty fucking good, baby. Didn’t think you were the possessive type.” He chuckled at you.

Were you possessive? You never truly thought you were overly jealous. Since Adam wasn’t your boyfriend, you didn’t really care. As long as he didn’t give you an STD or expose you, everything was cool.

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” You told him.

“Oh, and how well I fucking sleep at night. Especially when I dream of that sweet fucking cunt wrapped around my godlike dick.” He told you, with that sleazy tone of his.

Scratching your ear, you rolled your eyes at his remark. Because of him your eyes are going to be stuck like that one day. Pulling his a hoodie over his head, he made sure that his neck was visible. Asshole.

He put his hand on your back and let it wander downwards, towards your jeans packet. Slipping his big hand into it, he gave your ass an generous squeeze. Wrapping your own arm around him, you rested your head against his chest. He pulled you tighter against him.

“What’s for breakfast?” You decide on asking him.

Adam scratched his chin, visualising the contents of his fridge.

“Uhhh, you like bacon and eggs?” He looked down at you, “Don’t tell me you’re one of these freaky fucking vegans.”

What an obnoxious fucking guy.

“..Adam. Just make the damn breakfast.”

Seeing Adam actually stand at the stove and cook for you was unreal. You had your phone in your hand, reading through the messages your friends left. (“Dick so good you literally stood us up??” “u guys fink if i ask him @ practice for some tipps that he will give em to me?” “Bro…”)

Adam putting down a plate in front of made you look up from your doom scrolling, putting the phone into your jeans pocket, you looked at him sitting besides you on the kitchen island. Arm to arm. Yeah, when he said he doesn’t believe in personal space you immediately bought that. No other sources needed for that.

Mumbling out a quick thanks for the food, you took your fork into your hand and started to dig in. It was subtle, and you would have nearly missed it. Adam bowed his head slightly before he started to eat, his hands intertwined. It was a quick moment. He prays before he eats? Is he a christian? Why aren’t you surprised…..

Somebody should remind him off the whole chastity thing.

Simply continuing to eat, you were honestly surprised at how good the food tasted.

“You wanna be my trophy husband?” You asked him through a mouth full of food.

Adam laughed at the question, “Babe, I fear my taste is too expensive for you.”

You simply hummed at his words. That’s true. Sadly. Hopefully your degree pulls you out of poverty. Or you’re going to have to marry rich. Glancing at Adam, you wonder what it would be like to be married to him. Probably lots of sex. Together with many children running around, because that man doesn’t know how to pull out.

Adam finished his food before you did, his greedy ass. Shoving the last piece of bacon into your mouth, you thought about how long ago it was when you last ate meat. It’s too expensive. But simply breathing was also expensive.

When you got a full ride scholarship, you thought you won in the lottery. Well, no debt is better than nothing. But with the way the cost of living rises and you’re too tired to pick up more shifts, since if your grades slip you lose the scholarship, there’s not much for you to do. Expect eat bread and drink tap water.

At this point maybe you should just let Adam get you pregnant.

Adam took your plate and fork, together with his own, he put everything into the dishwasher. What a man.

“You know, usually it’s the woman who serve their men.” Never-mind, you hope he dies.

Scoffing at his words, you massaged your forehead, “Oh yeah? Aren’t you supposed to be a provider? As the man?”

Adam came up behind you, he placed his hands on your shoulders, massaging your tense muscles.

He leaned his head down towards your ear, “Want me to provide for you, baby? I’d keep your greedy pussy stuffed full while fulfilling all your other wishes and desires.”

God, why does that turn you on? You need some serious self reflection. Are you about to become a sugar baby for Adam? Without hesitation…..

Making eye contact with Adam was a pain. God you’re so down bad. The grin he worse was predator like. Yeah, being financially dependent on Adam would be a bad idea. What would happen if he was mad at you? He’d cut you off and you have to starve?

Be logical, be responsible.

You leaned forward, biting into his cheek lightly.

“That’s a yes, babe? What do you need from me to have you be fully fucking mine?…Want a proper fucking date, baby?” His eyes were soft.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, “Sure, and next we will get married with, like, 8 children.” (Accidental manifestation??)

Getting up from your chair, you stretched your muscles in an attempt to be casual.

Adam being this quite was a bad sign. Looking back at him, when you reciprocated his eye contact, with his yearning eyes, he chuckled bitterly and slightly shook whatever emotion he felt off. He grasped your shoulder into his hand and lead you towards the front door.

“…I think it’s time for us to go. Go brush your teeth and put on your jacket, I’m going to grab your bag.” He sounded…down. Sulky, even. And he didn’t use one swear word.

Who pissed in his coffee that he turns from number one lover boy to the saddest, most pathetic guy alive?

The amount of if time you needed to brush your teeth then to put on your jacket and shoes is all Adam needed to get your bag and brush his own teeth. He put the bag on the floor between you guys, while putting on his leather jacket with studs and slipping into his doc martens. Sexy.

Grabbing your bag and swinging it over your shoulder, you were ready to leave. You were stopped in your movements by Adam, who grabbed your shoulder and kissed you. While you were busy swallowing his tongue down, Adam’s fingers slipped under your bag strap and he took it off you. He put the bag over his own shoulder.

Putting his big, warm hand over your lower back, he escorted you to his car. The walk was quite. Which was uncomfortable, considering Adam is such a big talker. He really does love the sound of his own voice.

Were you going to talk with him about it?

Hell nah.

Avoidance till the end.

Maybe your ex had a point when he called you a gold digging whore behind your back.

Sitting in the passenger seat, you looked at Adam who seemed still pissy. Man.

“You wanna try something out tonight?” You decided on asking him, leaning over the seat.

You pressed your cheek against his shoulder, looking up at him with puppy eyes. It’s your attempt to surrender. To say sorry.

A small smirk appeared on Adam’s lips, “Whatcha thinking off, perv?” He decided on asking you. Fucker.

You dragged your finger across his chest, drawing heart patterns, “..How about you be the one submitting for once?”

Adam took your hand into his own, giving your knuckles a kiss.

“For you, baby? I’d do fucking anything….Except cuckholding that shit is the fucking worst.” His hand was on your thigh now, rubbing circles into your plush flesh.

You nodded at him eagerly. You were going to make him your bitch.

First the pharmacy was hit up, you waited in the car while Adam brought the Plan B and a water bottle. Next he let you out at your doctors office, he gave you a quick kiss, before confirming the time again 8:30 PM at your work place.

——————

Adam stood with Lute in the gym hall, watching the girls run their warm up laps. They stood a few feet away, to have their pretend privacy when discussing their latest sex adventures. Adam does more disclosing than Lute, if he’s being honest.

“How is it going with…Her?” Lute carefully asked Adam, knowing that he seems extra sensitive when it comes to you.

Adam shifted from one foot to the other, dragging his hand over his mouth.

“..It’s okay.” Was his simple answer.

Lute raised her brow at Adam, knowing that nothing is just okay with Adam. Either it was horrible or fan-fucking-tastic, but not okay. Never just okay. Lute put her hands on her hips, looking at Adam intensely, who voided her eyes.

“And she ditched our sleepover for him! In the middle of the night. She didn’t even do that for her shitty ex, we were always the number one priority!” Dymphna not so subtly whisper yelled at her girlfriend.

“I know…He really must be a sex god…” Monica agreed with Dymphna, while both off them looked over towards Adam. Those gossiping bitches.

“…Is that why you were late to practice today? You were having your own sleepover with your new babe?” Lute asked him.

Adam clapped his hands together, while walking towards the girls, “Alright, sluts! Enough with the warm up, let’s start with the pussy pounding!”

——————

The appointment basically washed over you like a fever dream. Since it was just to discuss birth control options, you didn’t need to spread your legs for your doc. Which was a relief conserving just yesterday Adam came deep inside you.

Once you repeated your medical history, she agreed that hormonal birth control wasn’t the best choice for you. Sure, you could try out different versions of the pill but honestly? You didn’t want to sacrifice your mental health for Adam’s dick. It’s good but not that good.

So the copper IUD it is.

Alright, she said she can insert it during your next period (which hopefully will come), in roughly 10 days.

She gave you a cost estimate, which you send over to Adam.

[Adam Godfree]: that’s it lol 12:30PM

[Adam Godfree]: you have paypal or smth 12:30PM

[Reader]: reader.XXX@Mail.com 12:33PM

[Adam Godfree]: send baby 12:35PM

[Reader]: You send too much. I will send it back once I’m at work. 12:35PM

[Adam Godfree]: naw keep it babes 12:35PM

[Adam Godfree]: it’s also for ur ripped thigights 12:36PM

[Reader]: Tights don’t cost 200$. 12:36PM

[Adam Godfree]: idgaf 12:36PM

[Adam Godfree]: you send it back to me i send even more 12:37PM

Are you………..A whore?……..….A prostitute?

Well 200$ is 200$ so you won’t complain…..You should really visit a church soon.

Work also passed through you, basically. Peter and you basically speed ran this whole shift. You were about to lock the front door, since you usually leave through the back door, when a guy ran to the door. Totally not creepy.

He was blond, sickly pale and shorter than you and he looked down right pathetic. Sighing heavily, you opened the door a bit.

“Sorry, we are closed.” You told him.

“I know! And I am sooo sorry! It’s just, I ordered something for pick up here. It’s for my wife! It’s our anniversary today! It won’t take long, I promise. Pleaseeee?” He pleaded.

Wife?? He looked to be around your age. In his hand he held the collection slip. Man, you really are a sucker. Opening the door fully, you let the guy in. You snatched the slip from his hand and made your way to the back, where you met Peter who did the last of the inventory.

“You really can’t say no, huh?” He decided on asking you, smiling at you sympathetically.

“Shut up. Where’s that damn microphone? Why can’t the others keep order? Why are we the only competent ones?” You were about to lose your mind, breakdown incoming.

Ah, there it is. Grasping the package into your hands, you made your way back to the cash register. Scanning the package, you told the blond twink with the reddest cheeks known to man his total.

“Oh, by the way, there’s a rumour going around that you left the last party with Adam?” Peter called out to you, from the back. Ah shit.

“…That’s crazy.” You said out loud.

Well, at least now you know it’s your face that gives your lies away and not your voice, by the way the blond guy grinned at you. The customer gave you the total, while you fished out his change.

“I know! That’s what I also said!” Peter said. Just, be quiet Peter.

“Adam? Adam Godfree?” He quietly asked you, while looking giddy.

You nodded shamefully at him, no use in lying when you’re so bad at it. You felt the guys eyes crawl all over you, checking you out. Doesn’t he have a wife?

“Well, Adam did always have an immaculate taste in woman.” His tone was charming, it made you uncomfortable. You put the change money into his hand, and he intervened your fingers.

“..I hope your WIFE…will enjoy this gift, for your guys ANNIVERSARY.” You told him with a strict tone of voice, while shaking your hand out of his.

“Oh, wait, no it’s okay! We-“ You couldn’t careless, you’re sadly a hardcore monogamist.

Walking across the counter, you grasped his shoulder and lead him towards the door, “Goodbye and visit us again!”

This time when he looked at you like a pathetic puppy, you didn’t open the door. You locked the door, for real this time, while waving goodbye at him.

Taking the broom into your hand, you did one final sweep of the store. Peter also finished up, you both checked everything one last time, before activating the alarm system and leaving through the back door. Peter threw away the trash, and you both made your way to the street.

Seeing Adam stand besides his car, by the passenger seat and Peter glancing at you made you want to hurl.

“..That’s crazy, right?” Peter laughed a bit at you, “Well, you did smell like Axe. I just thought you got back together with your ex…Again. This is…better? I’m happy for you.” He moved his hand while talking to you.

You avoided eye contact, “Yeah, yeah…Just keep quiet, please.”

Peter and you made your way further towards Adam. Peter laughed some more at you, while ruffling your hair.

Adam watched you two with sharp eyes, and when he saw Peter touch you, he glared at him like Peter was his Nr 1 enemy. Saying goodnight to Peter, you walked towards Adam.

Adam wrapped his arm around you, while throwing one last nasty look at Peter, he shielded you away from Peters amused eyes.

“..Are…Are you jealous? Of..Peter?” You giggled at Adam’s pouty face.

He grumbled something incoherent, before crashing his lips into yours. That shameless guy, devouring you in public. At least there aren’t any people around. Once he started to grope you, you shook him off you.

“Let’s get going, you voyeur.” You patted his big arm, while he still held on to your hips.

“Is it so wrong of me to want people to know who you belong to, baby?”

Giving him a light slap on the chest, you winded yourself out off Adam’s grip and opened the passenger seat door, getting into the car. Adam got into the drivers seat, starting the car with a simple press of a button.

He started the way to your apartment, with his hand resting on your thigh. He massaged your skin through your jeans and let his hand wander further upwards, towards your pussy. Alright, two can play this game.

Placing your own hand on his thigh, you dragged your own nails slightly over his jeans, towards his crotch. Softly gracing your fingers over his already hardening dick, you pressed your palm over his bulge. The car swerved slightly, when you did just that.

“Oh my god, Adam, drive normally please. I don’t want to die yet.” You told him, while removing your hand from his dick and placing it on his hand. You took his hand from your own crotch and placed his hand back on your thigh.

“Ugh, baby, sorry. You just make me loose my fucking mind. Cmon, give daddy a blowjob while he drives you home.” Adam kept looking between you and the street.

“Dude, I won’t risk our lives just because you’re horny. You will have to wait.” You scoffed at him, settling to look out the window, while Adam zoomed you both home.

Adam groaned at your words like you just stabbed him, and he pressed down harder at the gas pedal.

Once you arrived at your apartment complex, Adam parked his car. You then got out of the car, grabbing your bag. Adam snatched it up from you before you could put your bag on.

“Ah, what a gentleman you are. And people say chivalry is dead.”

“Don’t fucking worry, I’m hoping after this you will suck my dick real nice.”

You were going to bit it off, actually.

You don’t get why you like Adam. You’re down bad for him. He smiles at you, your pussy gets wet. He’s sleazy and an asshole and probably has a few STDS and you still invite him into your bed. You should really talk this over with your friends, maybe they can put some sense into your dick obsessed brain. You weren’t even into your ex that much??

Adam gave you a spank on the butt, while chuckling at you.

“Oh, I’m going to make you suffer.” You told him cheekily.

“Fuck, you promise, bitch?” Adam seemed more eager than you.

Maybe you like Adam so much, because he’s so into you. He can’t stop touching you, he borderline stalks you, he hates when other guys touch you or even look at you. He’s deliciously toxic. He wants to baby trap you. He sends you money. Dream man right here.

Walking up the stairs towards your apartment with Adam hot on your trail. Unlocking the door, you lead Adam into the small space which you call yours. A shitty studio apartment, stuffed full with trinkets and memories.

You both took off your shoes and jacket and man you were impatient. You needed him inside you stat. Before Adam was even done taking his jacket off, you were already caressing his chest. Stepping forward to him, you got on your tippy toes to kiss his neck.

Adam carelessly threw the jacket on the floor, he then grasped the nape of your neck and crashed your lips together. Lots of tongue, teeth clashing into each other and spit being exchanged. It was messy and lowkey nasty, just the way you liked it.

His hands moved toward your tits, squeezing and groping you. His hand moved under your sweatshirt and tank top, pinching your nipples gently.

You grasped Adam’s hoodie strings into your hands, tugging him towards your bed with it, while your lips were still connected. It was like you were tugging on his leash. That was a hot thought. Maybe you should collar him?

Sitting down at the edge of the bed, you tugged Adam down towards you. He placed his hands down besides your legs on the bed, but you gently pushed him away from you.

He furrowed his brows at you, his lips in a pout.

Giggling at his charmingly pathetic face, you pushed him down on his knees.

“What? Did you forget that you were going to be my plaything for tonight?” You asked, rather confidently. Yay for you! No shaky voice! Let’s see how long that will hold on.

“Oh, you’re so hot when you’re bossy with me, baby.” Adam grinned at you, the bulge in his pants was straining against the zipper and the jeans cloth.

Never-mind, one shitty compliment from Adam and you’re weak. Your stomach did flips, and you had to cover your face to keep your composure. Deep breaths, you can do this. You can top this 6’6 guy who is wider than a fucking closet. Oh, once again you bit off more than you could chew.

You put your foot on Adam’s chest, wanting to trail it downwards but he grabbed your calf and started kissing upwards, towards your knee.

“How many times can you cum in one session?” You asked him with a hitched breath.

Adam looked caught off guard by your question, but he quickly was able to catch himself.

“You wanna suck out my whole fucking life essence, huh? I dunno, I can give you a few for sure. Let’s see where my limit is, till I tap out.” He nuzzled his stubbly cheek into the skin of your shin.

Before you could even open your mouth to ask him something, the sound of a guitar riff ringed through your little studio apartment. Man. Blinking at Adam, with the way a scowl formed on his pretty face you guessed that’s his phone ringing. You recognise the guitar sound from one of his songs.

Adam fished out his phone from his back pocket, “What the fuck do you want!?” He nearly yelled into the offending object.

You couldn’t make out what the person on the other line is saying, or who it is. Is it a girl? Is he going to leave for another booty call? Does she give better head than you?

“How the hell do you break your fucking drum sticks?” Adam got up from his kneeling position, now he was towering over you.

Oh, it’s just Judas….Damn your ex really has great timing.

Adam smirked down at you, while he stood in between your legs. He placed his hand below your breasts, trailing it downwards while finally tugging at the waist band over your jeans roughly,

“Why don’t you get fucking undressed already, baby?” Adam held the phone, like, 2cm away.

So obviously Judas heard that bit. Adam rolled his eyes at whatever Judas was saying on the phone. Adam sighed heavily while scratching his nose. You covered your mouth to giggle at Adam’s despair. Whatever, you had to pee anyway.

Rolling yourself out of bed, you made your way to the bathroom, while Adam was swearing endlessly at your ex for being a fucking idiot. Adam could bash his head against a wall, first he has to talk to the useless guy he regularly cucks and now he couldn’t even look at your pretty face to cheer him up.

Well, at least he could snoop around. Your space consisted of a bed (too small), a desk and chair (old and ugly), and a few shelves with a closet (all mismatched with chipping paint). It was all stuffed full with trinkets, books and a few houseplants. Pictures of you and your friends were hung up all over place, obvious gasp were in between the pictures. When he took a look inside your half full trash can, he saw trashed pictures of you and your ex. There were no pictures of your family, or from when you were a child.

“I don’t give a fuck if you still miss your ex, go into the store and buy new fucking sticks and moongel. Or else I’m going to find out why your parents restricted your online banking.” With that Adam hung up on Judas.

Looking more around, Adam spotted a picture of you on the beach in a bikini. The point of view was from above, you were squatting on the ground while looking up from your sunglasses. A sandcastle was formed besides you. A beautiful smile was stretched across your glossy lips. There was a clear shot of your cleavage and your plush, milky thighs pressed together. Adam removed the picture from the pinboard and pocketed it for himself.

All across your room where little reminders posted, together with their dates. Some are from a few months ago, while others are only a few days old. He found one which said “Text back Adam!!!!”

On one wall he saw a dart board, he saw a shitty printed out pictures of a few professors he recognised from campus, while the one in the middle was a picture of Judas. Obviously cut out from a couple pictures, there were a few darts stuck in his face. Now that made Adam laugh.

He heard the toilet flush, so he knew he didn’t have long. Now, where do you store your underwear? Opening your closet, he rummaged through your box of bras and panties. He heard the door unlock, but it was hard to hear your footsteps. You’re a quiet walker. Right as you got around the corner, Adam pulled out a sexy thing which was baby pink, with little heart formed in the lace.

“Why don’t you wear this for me?” Adam let it dangle from his finger, watching your face get flustered.

Snatching the bra away from Adam, you threw it back into the closet and closed the door quickly,

“You call me a pervert while you’re the one going through my underwear?” You decided on asking him.

Adam was still kneeling on the floor, he was in between your closet and the end of the bed. You sat down at the end of the bed, Adam turned to face you.

“Want to start?” You whisper into the air.

“Hell yeah, babe.” Adam put his hands on your knees, rubbing at your pants.

“..You think we need a safe word for you?” You mumble out.

“Naw, babe, we just going to do it the old school way and use ‘No’ and ‘Stop’. I’m not into that fucking hardcore BDSM shit. Had a girlfriend who liked it rough, started freaking even me out. Like, who’s into fucking knives?” You really wish you knew which girlfriend that was.

Shaking your head slightly, to get your head back into the game. Only Adam matters right now.

Placing once again your foot on Adam’s body, just this time on his broad chest, plushy chest. Trailing your foot downwards, you dug your toes into his soft, thick stomach. Till you reached his growing bulge, you pressed the heel of your foot down at the bulge.

Adam hissed at the feeling of the pressure.

“Going through my underwear….very..naughty…?” Oh you’re such a bad dirty talker, Adam bit his lip to keep the laughter in.

“Oooooo, I’m so fucking naughty, please punish me mummy.” Adam got out through laughter.

You glared at Adam, you really were tempted to actually slam your foot down on his dick full force. You wouldn’t, but the fantasy of it calmed you down a bit. Rubbing at your face, in hopes of hiding your blush, you took a few deep breaths. Man, you’re a really bad sex haver.

“You’re starting to piss me off, you either get off with my foot or not at all.” You scowled at him.

Adam blinked at you with surprised eyes, “You’re fucking joking.”

You raised your brow at him, removing your foot from him, “Well, guess it’s time to go to bed then?”

Adam grasped your ankle into his hand, placing it back on bulge, “..Jesus, not so fast, bitch.”

Clicking your tongue at him, you looked into his hot eyes, with your own bored ones.

Adam moved his hand to wards the ball of your foot and pressed the heel back down on his hard bulge, even through the jeans you could feel heat emitting from him. Ugh, dream man.

His face was flushed, even the tip of his ears turned shades darker. Finally he looked like how you always felt around him. He was breathing heavily, while he looked down. He’s probably putting his pride away. Cute. You weren’t going to stress him. Flexing your toes slightly, you saw that you still wore your flower socks. You shifted slightly, rolling your stiff neck.

Adam ground the heel of your foot into his bulge, while still grasping the ball of your feet. He was biting his lip. He started to move your back and forth, dragging it along the arch of your foot.

“You’re soo good for me, Adam.” You tried to encourage him, or to get a sound out of his bitten lips.

“Ha…Shut up…Fuck.” Is all you got out of Adam, together with a half moan-half sigh. Hmm. Let’s try something out.

“I can’t wait to feel your dick inside me again, Adam, You always make me full so good…I have never felt so stuffed full. Especially when you cum inside me, I always hope it takes…..that you knock me up, finally..” God now you’re flustered again. Adam’s movements got faster.

“Shit, shit..Haaaha..I’d get you pregnant so fucking fast if you’d let me…” Adam spoke through gritted teeth, talking about his own twisted fantasies seemed to spurn him on.

“Yeah? You promise?” You asked him breathless.

“Fuck yeahhhh-“ He throws his head back and groans, “I’d move you in with me, would take care of you soo well. Have you be my little pretty housewife……All you have to do all day is be my…Ughhhh..be my breeding biiiitch…” Adam moaned out, the thought of that seemed to be his dream.

It’s also yours if your exams keep being so hard.

It took Adam only a few more thrusts of his hips to cum and soil his pants. You saw a wet spot form on his jeans. He let go of your feet, while his chest heaved. He continued to kneel on the floor while looking up at you. Oh right, you’re the one giving commands now.

Making grabby hands at him, to invite him into the bed, Adam near pounced on you. He picked you up by your hips and threw you into your pills of pillows. A surprised gasp left your lips.

“You’re such a fucking a bitch. If you ever tell anyone about this, I will fucking suffocate you with one of your pillows.” Adam said, while throwing a stuffed animal at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh at him, “I was so proud of you!”

He scowled some more at you, kneeling at the end of the bed, like a good boy.

Patting the spot on the bed next to yours, you watched as Adam laid down besides you. He was still flushed, but thanks to his darker complexion it wasn’t as visible. Lucky guy.

Throwing your leg over his hips, you straddled his lap fully. Grasping the edge of his hoodie, you tugged it off him. Exposing his soft torso, you gave him a kiss on the lips. It wasn’t your intention to have a deep kiss, but Adam grasped your hips into his hands and shoved his tongue down your throat. You moaned into the kiss. Once his hands started to wander, you stopped the kiss.

Grasping Adam’s hands into your own, your pressed them into the mattress by his wrists.

“No touching.” You murmured into his ears.

He whined at you, “Cmonnnnnnnn…” Once your hand left his wrists they immediately shoot back towards your skin. It’s like a magnet.

Grumbling at him, you decided to glare at him. Should you tie him up with your bed sheet or something? Wait…

“Wait! I have something…” Jumping off of Adam and the bed, you rummaged through your closet. Finally making contact with a mix of plastic and cardboard, you pulled out a pair of still packaged handcuffs. There was pink fluff on them.

Proudly showing those to Adam, you waited for his reaction.

“Pfftt, babe, if those fit, shit, who am I to say no to your cute face?” Adam laughed breathlessly at you.

Skipping over to him, you leaned over and stuck your hand under your pillow, feeling around. Pulling out your pocket knife, you pulled out the blade and carefully cut into the cardboard backing. Closing and putting the knife back, you pulled out the cuffs, together with 2 sets of keys. Best not to lose those.

You turned towards Adam, who stuck his wrists out. Carefully putting on the cuff around his one wrist, you locked it in,

“Is that okay?” You gently asked him.

Adam moved the cuff around and even stuck a finger through the loop, showing that he has enough room, “Never been better.” He leaned towards you and gave your cheek a kiss.

“Okay, that’s good. Just say the word and at will remove those ASAP! I will also cuff the other wrist, but, well…Hmm..I kind of want to sit on your face and I don’t know how well I can do that with your wrists restrained against the headrest….” You looked at Adam while speaking, and he turned happier and happier the more you spoke.

His hands moved towards your waist, picking you up while he laid down bellow your pillows. He placed you on his stomach. You took of your own sweatshirt and tank top, giving Adam a nice view of your tits. Since he wasn’t restrained, his hands immediately went to fondle your boobs. Tugging and pinching at the nipples.

“Take of your clothes.” You told Adam, while shimming out of your own pants and underwear. Ugh you already soaked through yours.

Adam buckled his hips up to take off his boxers and jeans. Yeah, he can’t wear these out anymore until they have been washed. Whoops. His dick was already half hard again, begging for attention. He kicked his clothes over the end of the bed. This is a problem for morning you.

Adam rubbed a hand over his cheeks and chin, “Take a seat baby, it’s aaaalllll yours for the taking.” He seemed more happy about this than you.

You laughed a bit at his antics, and then slowly but surely made your up, towards his face. Kneeling over his watering mouth, you got a bit nervous.

“What if-“ Before you could even finish your question, Adam pulled you down on his face by your hips.

He didn’t waste anytime in devouring you. His tongue licked a strip up your pussy, his tongue piercing made you nearly sob from the delicious sensation. His hand were rubbing up and down, on your hips, on your thighs, even over your stomach.

Once he was sure he licked up every drop he could, he decided to explore your pussy from the inside with his tongue. Sticking his tongue in your pretty hole, he sucked up every bit of your juices he could. You were divine.

You tangled your hands into his soft hair. You don’t get how it can be so healthy, shiny and thick with the way Adam uses Axe 3 in 1 shit, but here he was. One beautiful man. The beautiful man who was devouring you, like it was his last meal.

Adam wrapped his lips around your clit, and he sucked. Hard. You pressed your thighs tightly around Adam’s face, while your body bends forward. You were moaning and gasping at this point.

“Adam! Fuck! You’re….Ahh..You’re doing sooOhhooo good.” You praised him, since he did deserve that. Man is he amazing.

Looking back at Adam’s lower half, you saw that he was at full mast now. Reaching behind you blindly, you patted around Adam’s pubic area until you grasped his thick dick into your hand. Precum was leaking like crazy from his cock, coating the tip completely. You messily started jerking him off, coating him now fully in precum.

Adam groaned into your clit, causing pleasure to spike through your spine. Man, you were close. Adam probably knew that, since he was the only person to make you cum till now. Well, expect yourself of course.

“You’re the best and only one I will ever haaahhaaavee..Jesus, You hnng..got a magic tongue, haa?” You encouraged him through gasps and moans. Nothing seemed to make him happier then when you praises him.

Adam’s sucking and licking increased in intensity, while you felt his dick start to twitch in your hand. You focused on massaging his tip, and sweeping with your thumb over his piercing. He groaned into pussy. His hands never left your skin, bruseing touches were massaged into your thighs and hips.

“Ah, Oh fuck….’m cuhhhuming.” You called out.

You grinned down your clit against his big nose, riding out your toe curling high. Adam’s dick did one last twitch and he came all over your hand, and his stomach and chest. You breathed heavily and got off of Adam’s face.

Adam’s face chased chased after your pussy, between your spread legs. He gave your clit a kiss, which caused you to whine out in overstimulation, while your hips twitched. His lips attached to your thighs and he started sucking hickeys into the skin.

You dragged your nails into Adam’s scalp, massaging him. He continued lazily sucking more marks into your skin.

“You ready for the next round?” You decide on asking him.

Adam looked up at you with half lidded eyes, is it two and done for him?

Taking his face into your hands, you brushed a thumbed over his cheekbone.

“..I want nothing more than for you to fuck my brains out. Just gottta give me a hot second, baby.” He told you, his own hand covered yours while he looked into your eyes.

You hummed at his words, you took his hand moved it towards your breast. Letting him play and fondle with your tits. He sat up more to lick and suck at your one breast, while massaging the other. He left hickeys around your nipple.

His dick was starting to come back to life, full on hard and ready to go. You tugged him off you and pushed at his shoulder to make him lay down on his back. You sat down on his warm, soft stomach, trying to avoid his cum. Sadly for you, Adam came in buckets, so you couldn’t really avoid that. You took Adam’s wrists into your hands. You lopped the handcuff through your bed post, and put his last wrist into said cuff.

He was now fully restrained.

“This okay?” You decided on asking him.

“Fuckkk yeah, you’re so hot, babe.” Adam tugged at the cuffs slightly, to see how much they could take.

You kissed Adam’s cheek, then his neck and chest. You gave his nipple a light pinch with your finger, before sucking on the other one. You gave his nipple a light bite, the bar of his piercing clang against your teeth.

Adam tugged at his restraints while groaning. Hips buckled up into the air. You removed your lips with a pop. Gliding down, you rubbed your pussy against Adam’s hard dick. He angled his hips so that he could get more stimulation out of you.

You pressed down his hips back into the mattress, “Stay down. Don’t you want to be good?”

“….Wanna be good. Please. Hop on my dick.” Adam begged.

You never thought Adam would be the one begging for something, but you weren’t complaining. You aligned Adam’s dick with your entrance, and you started to slowly slide down on his dick. No matter how much you guys fuck, he always stretches you out. Your mouth fell open in a silent gasp.

Adam watched the way his dick slowly disappeared inside your hot, velvety cunt with intense eyes. He needed a lot of his will power to not start thrusting his hips upwards. Fucking you silly from below. He dug his nails into his palm.

You finally were all the way down, it took you a bit to adjust to his sheer size. Gridding down on his dick and pubic bone, you moaned at the amazing feeling. Adam hissed at the feeling of your fluttering cunt around him. Adam thrust his hips upwards, trying to get you to start bouncing down on him.

“Adam, behave. The more you move, the less you will get.” You told him sternly, dragging your nail across Adam’s hipbone.

He groaned at that. You stopped your grinding and simply kept his cock inside you. He was twitching inside you, while he tugged impatiently at his cuffs.You leaned forward, resting your chin on his chest, while smiling at him.

“Fucking move already you daft bitch, enough of the teasing.” Adam spoke through gritted teeth.

You laughed at the petulant whine in his voice, together with the pout. God, what a man-child. You needed him badly. You bit your own lip at his behaviour, trying not to laugh at him.

“Ask nicely and I might indulge you.” You told him with a smug smile.

Adam groaned heavily, you felt it vibrating in his chest, he threw his head back. His eyes were squeezed shut, “Pleeeeaasseee, baby, I want you throw my hip out with the fucking way you bounce on my dick.”

You snorted at his words, “How can I say no to those charming words?”

Sitting up, you started a slow rhythm of going up and down on Adam’s hard dick. Adam dug his toes into the bed sheet, happy to finally get some stimulation. Even though he felt overly sensitive, and he knew he wouldn’t last long, he still wanted to fuck you silly from below. As soon as he started thrusting upwards, you pushed Adam’s hips back down and continued your bouncing.

“Can’t keep still, Adam?” You asked him in between gasp.

“ ‘is your fault, baby, you’re too tight. Squeezing me ‘n shit.” Adam sounded winded.

You reached back, grasping for his balls, massaging them.

Adam’s lips left a broken mix of a gasp and moan. His hips shoot upwards, fucking into you while he came inside you. Shit, you thought he would like that, but that much?

You seemed as surprised as Adam, who was heaving heavily. He wet his lips with his tongue, while his dick went soft inside you. Biting at the inside of your cheek, you leaned over to kiss Adam. He pressed his tongue immediately into your mouth. You grasped his face into your hands, urging him to kiss you deeper. You felt Adam’s cum run down your stuffed full pussy.

You stopped the kiss so you could start once again to jump up and down on Adam’s thick cock. He got hard so embarrassingly easily, it’s enough when he sees your face. Finding a rhythm where you felt the pleasure start to build up, you ran your hands over your body, squeezing your tits, before your fingers found your clit. Rubbing circles into it.

“Fuck, baby, untie me. ‘M gonna rub that pretty clit for you. Make you fucking cream all over me.” Adam begged, while tugging at the cuffs. With all that tugging you were surprised that Adam’s wrists weren’t rubbed raw yet.

Laughing breathlessly at him, you shook your head at him. You continued your rhythm, wanting nothing more than to cum.

“Shit, Adam, you always feel so perfectly fitted inside me.” You moaned out.

“Yeah? You always..Ughh…make my fucking dick ache when I just look at you.” Adam started thrusting upwards, helping you chase your high.

That quickly started to approach you, but you also wanted Adam to cum once more.

“Adam, cum inside me. I want you…Want to make you into a real daddy.” That should hopefully be enough? Yeah.

“Shit, babe, already am a real daddy….You’d be a hot as fuckkkk MILF.” Adam’s brows were furrowed and his mouth was open, gasping into the air. Every time a moan tumbled out of his lips, he bit his lip. A shame, he had really pretty moans.

“Adam, I’m close…. Cum with me.” You quickened your finger which was massaging your clit.

You felt your high wash all over you, you dug your nails into Adam’s hips, while your toes were curling. Adam shoot up hot cum into your already full cunt, causing you to sob. You stayed like this for a bit, you both breathing heavily, while cum dripped out of you.

Sliding Adam’s dick out of you, you felt juices gush out of you. Yikes.

“Show me your cunt, babe. Pwetty pwease.” Adam whined at you.

You made sure Adam had a good view of your pussy, when you spread your folds apart. Showing him how his cum dripped out of you. Adam groaned satisfied. He leaned his head back into your pillows, seemingly spent.

Reaching out, you grasped Adam’s dick into your hands and squeezed his shaft.

Adam hissed, his hips twitching at the feeling of overstimulation.

He looked good like that, his face was flushed to hell and back, his lips were bitten raw, and there were tears forming in his eyes. You gave his dick a few kisses, feeling how it got hard under your fingers and lips.

You started slowly jerking Adam off, being mindful off how sensitive he was. He whined at the feeling. Rubbing gentle circles into his tip, playing with his piercing, you kissed your way down. From his tip towards his balls, where you also kissed them.

Adam felt himself cum embarrassingly easy, it basically took him 3 strokes from your hand and he felt the dam break. Adam’s back arched while he sobbed out, if it was from pain or pleasure he wasn’t too sure. You watched with curious eyes as Adam came, surprisingly though there was no more cum ejaculating from him.

Woah, a dry orgasm. You really sucked him dry. That’s cool.

“Enough, you cock hungry whore. Jesus, I know I’m the best you will ever have, but I’m fully spend. Fucking hell….” Adam grumbled out.

You nodded at his words, you leaned over to snatch the keys from your bed side table, and you freed him off his restraints. As soon as you put everything on your bedside table again, Adam wrapped his arms around you and slammed you into the mattress. The breath was slightly knocked out of your lungs and a surprised gasp left your lips.

Adam sprawled himself over you and trapped you between his huge body and the mattress. His head was resting on your chest. He nuzzled the soft skin there. You softly rubbed his shoulders and back, drawing circles into his muscles. Ranking your nails through his soft hair, he sighed softly, being completely content.

“..Cat got your tongue?” You asked him while laughing a bit.

“Shut up. Go to sleep.” Adam grumbled into your skin.

Yeah, your legs were sore. You were going to feel this tomorrow. You felt your eyes drift shut and lost yourself into the unconsciousness.

You woke up the next morning from your bladder calling for you to relief yourself. Reaching blindly around on your floor, you picked up your phone. 7am. Ugh. You had classes today. How annoying. Putting your phone screen up on the bedside table, you rolled out of bed.

As soon as your feet hit the ground, Adam jolted up, rubbing at his eye.

“Where you going?” He asked you with his gravely voice.

“Have to pee.” You mumbled out, stumbling into the bathroom. You thought for a second he would follow you, but he laid back down.

Once you finished your business and washed and dried your hand, you walked back into your room.

You saw Adam sit at the edge of the bed, with your phone in his huge hand. It’s funny, when it’s in your hand you struggle with reaching the full screen with your thumb, while in Adam’s hand it looked like a toy. He was scowling, badly and when he noticed you coming in, he glared at you.

He looked at you like he hated you.

Before you could ask him what was up, he slammed your phone into the corner of your bed side table. Shattering your phone completely. It was a sickening sound, cracking and grinding. The splinters of glass flew everywhere. On the floor, on the bed, on Adam.

You didn’t quite know what to say. What the fuck? Why would you do that? Get the fuck out of my apartment? A feeling of fear of curled in your stomach, paralysing you. It’s an old friend.

Adam stood up, slowly, menacingly. Taking a few steps towards you.

You liked Adam’s size, he was much bigger than you and that made him so attractive to you.

He was much bigger and stronger than you and that’s what terrified you so much.

As soon as Adam stood you were freed of your shock.

“What the fuck?” You spoke into the silence. Not really knowing what else to say. What is there to say?

Adam scoffed at you, crossing his arms in-front of his chest.

“Don’t worry your stupid little fucking head about it.” He simply answered. Wrong move.

“Are you insane? You smash my phone into pieces and won’t even tell me why? Because…Why? You’re the big macho guy who makes all the oh-so big decisions? Because I’m just a girl?” He was starting to piss you off.

You forgot how fast he was, in the blink of your eye he was in-front of you. He roughly grasped your jaw into his hand. It hurt.

“Yeah, that’s fucking why. I know girls like you, you act oh so independent but really you want a big strong guy, like me, to save you. You’re just a fucking woman, so I know it’s hard for you to grasp basic concepts, but you should kiss my fucking feet for even looking at a plain girl like you.” Oh what a fucker.

You gave him a shove to get him away from you, but he just grasped your wrist into his hand. It was a bone crushing strong. At least he wasn’t grasping your jaw anymore. The feeling of betrayal rise like bile in your throat, that’s what you get for trusting a man. It was a reminder for yourself to never trust a man again.

You laughed in his furious face, “Yeah, sure, and if you think I won’t use the birth control you oh so graciously paid for, to fuck other guys you might actually be the stupid one.” You wouldn’t, but he didn’t need to know that. You wanted to hurt him, like he hurt you.

It seemed to work, you didn’t think he could possibly look even more pissed off, but he did. Adam reached his arm out, which wasn’t holding your wrist, and he slammed his fist into your wall. The thin material easily crumbled under the force of his hit.

Adam moved his hand towards you and you closed your eyes, while flinching. Readying yourself for a slap, which never came. Opening your eyes slowly, you saw that, that hand went into his hair, probably pulling at it from what you gatherted Adam.

So he’s a misogynist but not a woman beater, good to know.

The anger from Adam’s face seemed to have washed away, he seemed more preoccupied with your reaction. Your name fell from his lips, soft and worried. He lost the right to be worried about you.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment.” Your heart was beating so fast and loud, you couldn’t hear anything else.

Adam dropped your throbbing wrist from his grasp, taking a step back. His eyes restlessly wandered all over your body.

“..I wasn’t going to fucking hit you. I would never do something like that.”

“Yeah right. You just break my phone AND wall in an unjustified fit of rage. Get your fucking shit and never talk to me again.” You were rubbing your wrist. Man this is going to bruise.

Looking around, you started to pick up Adam’s things and started throwing them at him. Fucker.

And that’s how Adam ended up with you slamming your door in his face, while he only stood with his boxers on in your hallway. His things were messily scattered everywhere. Great.

…….Was that a fucking a rat?

[adventuringblind]

Every Step of the Way

Oscar Piastri x Reader x Logan Sargeant x Liam Lawson

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, sick fic

Summary: With a new diagnosis, sometimes things can be confusing and scary. Oscar, Liam, and Logan do their best to help make things as easy as possible.

Warnings: Authors limited knowledge of cancer and chemotherapy

Notes: To the requester, I hope this brings you some comfort. I understand the fear of a new diagnosis. It's a difficult things to navigate.

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

The appointment feels like it was years ago, yet she's still sitting in the office. The weight of the words sinking in, the new diagnosis still registering.

Cancer. The single word nobody wants to hear. It is a life changing thing that could pose to be fatal.

And right now, she feels alone. At the mercy of her own emotions. Her phone buzzing beside her, but her consciousness is too far away to notice it.

She hadn't been feeling well for some time. Oscar had suggested seeing a doctor, but she claimed allergies. She'll have to admit to him that he was right (again, as per usual).

The boys have been busy lately, off racing and traveling. She's been stuck home trying to get through all these appointments. The one time they are home, she wishes they weren't.

How is she supposed to tell them her body is trying to kill her? They have too much going on in their own lives right now to worry about her on top of it. The lovely anxiety she's been having over being a burden to her boys sets in once more.

She hates it. These dejected emotions want to escape from her via tears. Yet they don't come. They pool in her eyes instead, just on the cusp of sliding down her cheeks.

Her phone buzzes again. She looks at this time and sees the spam from Liam and Logan asking if she's been kidnapped or something. So much for not worrying them.

She drives him in silence. Only her thoughts to keep her company. The ones that tell her maybe she did something to deserve this. She thinks back to anything that could've cause this kind of karma.

She pulls into the driveway and tries to put a smile on her face as she walks through the door. "I'm home!"

Liam nearly tackles her to the floor as he scoops her up and tosses her onto the sofa. The one all three of the boys have turned into the perfect comfort spot with blankets and snacks and a movie already on the screen.

“Figured you might want some reprieve after your appointment.” Logan tosses a blanket over her.

“You don’t want to now the results?”

Oscar wraps an arm around her and tucks her close to his chest. “You were supposed to be home two hours ago. whatever it is, we can talk about it after you’ve had some time to wind down.”

She ends up falling asleep during the movie. the comforting presence of all three boys has her mind drifting off to somewhere that isn’t her own failing body.

She tries to soak up the normalcy of it all before things get worse. The voice in the back of her head is telling her that they won’t want her around when she’s too exhausted to do anything. when she starts draining their bank accounts because of all the medical bills.

The sleep she got was restless despite not waking up. They’d moved her to bed at some point. The cuddle pile and soft snores tell her it’s probably still early.

She maneuvers herself out of bed without waking the boys. A dance she’s done a thousand times before.

The glass of water is in her hands, but she doesn’t remember walking into the Kitchen. Everything is too much right now.

Her knees find the floor and the water spills everywhere. The glass shatters when she throws it in anger.

So much for not waking anyone.

Footsteps hastily make their way towards her. She can hear them whispering as they come around the corner and see the mess that she’s made.

“Love, I’m gonna come get you alright?” Strong arms wrap around her and bring her off the floor. She zones out listening to the song clatter of glass being picked up.

Back on the sofa again. The boys don’t push but she can tell they want answers. all three of them share nervous gazes.

“Cancer.”

She waits for anyone to say anything, to get angry and scream, maybe even cry. Instead she is hugged with such a gentle kind of love that she breaks. The tears don’t stop until she is dehydrated and choking.

“We’re not leaving you, alright? This diagnosis doesn’t stop us from loving you.”

The next week is torture. Getting ready for and starting chemotherapy is a nightmare.

It hurts, she’s sick, and the exhaustion makes everything worse.

But she also has people around her who love and care. They stick with her on the bad days and the worse days. they make the best out of the good days.

Oscar makes sure she sleeps, Logan makes sure she eats, and Liam tries to kidnap her when the other two get over protective.

It’s certainly a hard road. Some days are harder and she can barely function, but she’s trying.

Plus, it does help having people who love her around.

[roostersbby69]

0.4 | I’ll be here for you

Summary: the one where Mav has a heart attack where he finds out you’re pregnant with your best friends baby.

Warnings: teen pregnancy, language

Pairing: teen Bradley x teen reader

Full masterlist.

One week later, you had called Bradley and told him it was time to tell your dad before you started to show you were pregnant.

Bradley, unfortunately, had been trying to put it off and pretend like it wasn’t happening, but he couldn’t escape this one. He was in deep shit.

It was around the fourth week after you found out and you were starting to think about doctor appointments to check on the baby.

You were still nauseous and Bradley felt so bad when he wasn’t there to help you when you got sick. It wasn’t like you lived far away from eachother, it was just you were getting sick as soon as you woke up and you didn’t live together. Although that would make things much easier.

Bradley was supposed to be over at your house at 12:00 for lunch with you and your dad. You had talked to your dad about lunch with Bradley today to make sure he would be here and he agreed.

It had to be today, you couldn’t put this off any longer and act like it wasn’t happening.

You kept checking the time on your phone as you brushed your hair in your bathroom. You had just gotten done having your morning meeting with the toilet and learned to brush your teeth after you emptied your stomach.

You put a sundress on that was baby blue and stopped mid thigh, it was one of your favorites and you probably woundnt be able to wear it when your belly got big so you would wear it now.

The doorbell rang through the house and your stomach got butterflies as the time was coming closer and closer to where you would tell your dad he was going to be a grandfather.

You walked out of your bathroom and heard the two boys talking in the kitchen.

“Hey Bradford.” Maverick called through the house.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Bradley closed the door and swallowed as his hands began to sweat.

“Never better, hey you should come work on that 172 with me in the shop.” Maverick said as he put away some plates.

“Actually, where’s Y/n?” Bradley asked as he searched the room with his eyes.

“She should be in the back.” He pointed with a fork as he put the cutlery away.

Bradley nodded and made a beeline towards that way and searched the rooms as he called your name.

“Y/n!” He searched the guest room and turned down the hallway to run into you, literally.

“Ow!” You hissed as he knocked you into the wall.

He turned around and gasped, “I’m so sorry, are you okay? Are you hurt?” He searched you and ran his hands over your belly. When he saw you staring at him, with a flushed face, he backed off of you and rubbed his neck.

“I’m fine.” You reassured him with a smile and rubbed his bicep.

He looked down at your hand, which rubbed his arm reassuringly, and looked back to your face, he swallowed thickly and brought a finger up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

You cleared your throat, “We have to tell him.”

He nodded, “I know. I just wish that it wasn’t so hard.”

“Well be ok,” you smiled and grabbed his hand to lead him to the kitchen.

-

Plans changed, you weren’t eating lunch with your dad anymore. Instead, he took Bradley to the shop to show him his Cessna.

They had been in the shop for over thirty minutes before you decided that it was time to face your fear ann make your way into the shop with them.

Bradley was talking to Mav by the table about something random, “Yeah, I wish he was here to teach me this kind of stuff.”

Maverick looked at him with sympathy and nodded, “I know he would if he could, buddy.”

They turned their heads when the door creaked open and you walked in with a glass of water on each hand.

Bradley smiled as you walked over to them and handed each of them a glass, they thanked you and Bradley slid a chair over to you to let you sit down.

You stared in between them in awkward silence as you spoke up, “Dad”.

Maverick looked down at you and hummed as he sipped his water.

“Um, there’s something we need to talk about.” You picked at your fingers and tried to avoid making eye contact with either one of them.

“What’s going on?” He could already tell by your body language and your glances towards Bradley that something was wrong.

“Um,” you felt your face and neck go red, you felt like someone had a tight grip on your throat and limited the air going in your lungs.

You felt like you were going to puke, no words could form so you reached into your dress pocket and pulled out the positive pregnancy test and set it on the table he was leaning on.

He stared down at it with wide eyes and moved to stand straight up, he looked at you and then at Bradley.

“You’re pregnant?” He breathed as he grabbed the test and put it up to the shop light.

You rolled your eyes at this, was this a boy thing? Did all boys not believe a test?

“Yes dad.”

“Who’s is it?” He dropped his arm and looked at you, “I thought your mother put you on birth control?”

“She did.” You muttered as you were prepared to answer the next question he had asked.

“Whose is it?” He kept looking at you and then at the test.

“Mine.”

Maverick looked up to Bradley with wide eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, “I knew that would happen.”

“What?” You asked.

“You just had to get my daughter pregnant, didn’t you Bradshaw?”

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t try to. It was something that just happened.”

“Have you been to the doctor? How far along are you?”

“I found out six weeks ago.” You muttered.

“Six weeks?! And why the hell are you just now telling me?” He started to raise his voice.

“You are always gone dad!” You shot up from your seat, “I can’t track you down and tell you that I’m pregnant!”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. This- I just don’t know what to say.”

“It’s fine, dad, I’m going to go to the doctor soon.”

He sat for a second, taking the new information in, and ran his hand down his face with a nod.

You ducked your head, in embarrassment, and felt him lift your face in his hands, “I’m not mad, pumpkin, I just want what’s best for you.”

You nodded and felt a thin tear run down your face and into his fingers, “Thanks dad.”

—————————————————————

Tag list:

@idontcare-11

@senawashere

[bangtanmix73]

From 3 to 5

Paul Lahote x pregnant reader x Embry Call

Warnings: afab!reader, pregnancy, overthinking, anxiety, Paul would you ‘pup’ I don’t take criticism, fear of rejection, is it obvious I have baby fever?, let me know if I missed anything

--

“What am I doing to do, Em, Kim?” You address both of the women sitting on the couch as you paced back and forth.

You had just gotten back from your doctors appointment. You haven’t been feeling well lately and your boys were worried you were sick. You weren’t sick, you were 9 weeks pregnant. With twins.

“Y/n, dear, please sit down.” Emily patted the cushion next to her.

“I can’t sit down, Em, I’m stressed.” You complained.

“I don’t understand why you’re so stressed out, hun.” Kim spoke up for the first time since you told them you were pregnant. “They’re going to be excited.”

You stopped pacing. You stood in front of the girls, face filled with guilt. “The twins could only belong to one of them right? I feel bad that Paul would be the biological father to both and Embry wouldn’t, visa versa.” You whispered, loud enough for them to hear.

“Well that’s the more common case, yeah, but I’m sure Embry or Paul would still love the babies the same.” Emily commented.

“Hang on, the ‘more common case’?” You questioned.

“Yes, I believe it’s called ‘heteropaternal superfecundation’. It’s where one twin belongs to one and the other twin belongs to another man.” She informed you.

“Huh, you really do learn something new everyday.” Kim muttered.

“I really hope that’s my case.” You paused, another question coming to mind. “How far along do you have to be to get a paternity test done?”

“7 or 9 weeks, I believe.” Kim chimed in.

“I’m 9 weeks.” You started. “Do you think they would get a paternity test?”

“I’m sure if you asked them to.” You knew Emily was right. They’d do anything if you asked them to.

“Okay, yeah, I just got to tell them first.” You mentally hyped yourself up to the idea.

“You got this, hun.” Kim encouraged.

“Just one question.” Emily grinned. “Are we the god mothers?”

—-

You were now sitting on the bed while some trash tv show played in the background, having come home a hour ago. You were waiting for your two (2) wolves.

Although, the longer you waited, the more the suspense built. You didn’t plan an extravagant way to tell them, you were too nervous. Besides, you thought being pregnant with twins should be a big enough surprise.

Too lost in your thoughts, you apparently didn’t hear the front door open or your boys calling your name or their footsteps up the stairs. You didn’t know they were home until Embry opened your shared bedroom door.

“Pup, you alright? You didn’t come to the downstairs when we called you.” Paul walked over to you and sat down on the bed, in front of you. Embry sat beside him.

Your heart rate picked up and fear set in and they felt it through the imprint bond.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” Embry moved closer to you.

“I, uh, I have something I need to tell you.” You begin. It took everything in you not to cry from the fear of rejection. “I’m pregnant. Not only that, but with twins.” You took a breath once it was finally out, but it didn’t relax you one bit as neither do them have said anything.

Paul and Embry sat shocked in front of you, not moving or saying anything. Honestly, if they were going to leave you, you wished they’d do it now and quickly.

You hesitantly asked, “B-boys? Are you okay?”

Paul snapped out of his trace first, smashing his lips into yours, taking you by surprise. Nonetheless, you kissed him back, both of your arms wrapping around each other.

Embry poked Paul’s side, forcing him to pull away from you. “My turn, Paul.” Embry demanded, making you giggle while Paul huffed.

Embry put his hands on both sides of your face and brought you in to kiss you. He removed one hand from your face, down to your legs, moving you closer to him and Paul.

He pulled back with the biggest grin on his face. “I love you so much. I’m so happy.” He poked Paul in the side again, making him groan. “We’re going to be dads.”

“So it doesn’t matter if the twins only belong to one of you?” You questioned. Paul moved behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter who they biologically belong to, they will always be our kids no matter what.” Paul reassured you.

“So, hypothetically, if I asked for get a paternity test, would?” You asked, quickly adding in, “not the it matters, I’m just curious.”

Paul and Embry shared a look.

“Only if you want to.” Embry said. “But for now, can we cuddle? We missed you.”

You smiled, “‘course.”

—-

About a week later, you went in for the paternity test. The boys were restless the whole time. It became worse when the doctor said the results won’t be in for at least 24 hours. When the results finally came in, they were practically bouncing. From nervousness or excitement, you weren’t sure.

Opening the letter, you read it carefully. You gasped which concerned your wolves.

“What? What’s wrong?” They spoke in unison, not bothering to hide the concern in their voices.

“One baby is Paul’s and one is Embry’s.” You announced.

“What?” Paul blurted.

“How’s that possible?” Embry muttered in wonder.

“I’m not sure, but Emily said it’s rare. I’m just surprised this is how it turned out.” You admitted.

Paul hugged you. “I said this before, but it doesn’t matter if one’s mine, others not or if they were mine or not, we’re still going to be their fathers, pup.” He assured you one again, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

Embry hugged you from behind. “You’re going to be a great mother, babe.”

“Guess the 3 musketeers turned into 5.” You joked, sending the three of you into a fit of giggles.

[oh-surprise-its-me]

I got a text from my own estranged father that made me pissed, it made me wish for a better father again so I’m taking it out on Ron. Sorry. 💞 *me basically taking a box of angry emotional bees and tossing them at Ron*

@aki-draws-things

TW: reference to child abuse. Ron definitely is having a panic attack during this.

Ron can’t stop shaking. He’s curled on the bathroom floor. He had just put Jake down for bed. The little two month old baby cries the most heartbreaking sounds.

Ron isn’t sure he can do this.

He has no model figure of what a dad should be. He’s going to fuck this kid up more then anything else he’s ever fucked up in the world.

“Ron?”

They’re too good for him. He’s going to be just like his father. Going to drag them down until they’re shells of the people they were. Hurt them in ways he can’t even think of yet.

He hears more voices talking. He can’t understand a single thing being said to him. He can only feel the tears going down his face.

Weak.

All he hears is his fathers voice in his head.

He wishes he had a good father. God he craves what he could’ve had. Why couldn’t his dad be good. Why. Why did Ron get punished just for being a kid. For asking his dad a question. For playing with toys.

“Ron!”

He looks straight up at that. Tommy. Great Tommy. Kind Tommy who took him in when he should’ve just died outside. Tommy who dragged him back to life when Ron felt nothing inside.

Behind him he sees Chris. Their little star. Ron doesn’t deserve either of them.

Chris is too good. Too perfect for him to taint. He can’t ruin Chris. Selfishly he thinks he’s already probably ruined Tom so what’s one more hug.

He hears Jake wake back up and cry, they both stand there without moving. “Go get him why are you still here? Go.”

Chris almost flinches at the tone of the words.

Great Ron. You’re such a fucking idiot. Hurt them with words before you hit them. Great. It’s in your dna might as well start early.

Tom yanks Ron into a standing position. “Ron? You in there?”

Tom and Chris both had watched as Ron put Jake to bed. He had a different look in his eye tonight. He had stumbled past them with a look Tom had only seen ever in relation to Ron’s dad. Chris and Tom both went after him.

“Sunshine what happened?” Ron gives a small smile at the nickname. Somehow they’re in their bed now. Chris still isn’t back. Good. He should be running away with Jake. Take him so far away that Ron can’t ever hurt him. It might kill Tom but he’d understand if it meant protecting Jake. “Ron!”

Ron startles. He blinks at Tom. “Uh. Keep thinking about my dad. How I’m going to be like him. Don’t wanna hurt you guys. Can’t hurt Jake. You’ve gotta promise me Tommy. Promise that you’ll end me if I ever hurt Chris or Jake.”

Tom has tears running down his face, he pulls Ron into his arms. “Baby you’d never hurt them. And you’re nothing like your dad. He was evil. You’re sunshine.” Ron smiles at the pun. There’s a voice from the doorway. “Ron you’re more protective of Jake then both me and Tom. You’d do anything for that kid. From what I know that means you’re nothing like your dad.”

Chris slips into bed curling around Ron’s back, he presses a kiss into Ron’s neck. “It’ll be okay. You’ll feel better in the morning. You’re running on too little sleep.” Ron laughs. They’re all on too little sleep. What’s new about that. “Shouldn’t be a dad. Always wanted kids but what if I fuck him up.”

“Oh baby. That’s every good parents fear. If you’re not scared about fucking him up you don’t care.” Tom nods, he brushes the hair out of Ron’s face, its grown so far past regulation. Jake likes reaching a hand up and grabbing it.

Tom presses a kiss to Ron’s eyebrow. “You wouldn’t let Jake sleep on you if you were a bad dad. Wouldn’t pick him up when he cries. Would tell him to be quiet but instead you tell him to make all the noise he wants. You want to be there for all the doctor appointments, all the small little things. You care about that kid.”

Chris nods, “he’s your kid as much as ours Ron. He’s going to be a combo of the three of us. Your father be damned that’s your kid. You raise him how you want.”

Ron feels like crying again. He throws an arm behind himself to pull Chris closer. He shoves his face into Tom’s chest. “Sorry I freaked. Got a letter from my cousin the other week. Shredded it. He talked too much about my dad.” Tom hums, he glances over Ron’s head and looks at Chris.

They both know this isn’t going to be fixed like that but they also know their Ron. He would rather toss himself off a bridge then hurt any of them. Emotionally or physically. He’d never.

Chris thinks he’ll ask David and Lucas to watch Jake tomorrow night so they can show Ron how much they trust and love him.

Ron drifts off. Tom slips out of bed to grab a wash cloth to wipe the tears off his face with. Chris holds into Ron tighter. Their giant fool. The best thing that ever happened to them.

When Tom comes back he looks a bit better. He runs a hand down Chris’s arm. “Love you. Sorry he freaked.” Chris shakes his head, “love you too but it’s not like you knew that would happen. It’s been a long week. Lots of emotions. It’ll be fine.”

They all drift off into sleep.

-

Ron looks embarrassed in the morning. He’s holding Jake and feeding him when they find him. “You okay baby?” Ron nods. He presses a quick kiss to Jake’s head. “Yeah. Sorry about last night. It was all too much.” Tom gently flicks Ron’s ear. “No sorry for your feelings. It’s okay. It’s always okay.”

Chris nods. He kisses Ron. “You’re feelings always are important. Especially when you’re feeling that bad. It’s okay baby.”

Ron looks like be might cry happy tears this time. But Jake interrupts them. The baby babbles at Tom, of course the man takes him from Ron. The other two can only look on with joy. “See. You’re good with him. He’s just a baby. They’re all weird sometimes.”

“Tommy don’t call our kid weird.”

“Chris he has three dads he’s a little weird.” Ron laughs at that. It’s nice to hear the word dads. He never thought it was a possibility. “I love you all. Thank you for making me a dad even if I did freak out about it last night.”

Tom laughs. “Course Sunny. Love both of you too.” He leans down and kisses Jake’s cheek. “Thank you baby for making me a tata. Love you.”

Chris slips into Ron’s lap. He grabs Ron’s face and holds on. “You’re our husband. Jakes father. Not that man’s son. He has no power over you. You’re ours. Not his. I love you for you.” Ron grins at him. He loops his arms around Chris and squeezes. “Thanks mysz I appreciate it.”

They end up all on the couch for the rest of the day. Ron on the floor at one point with Jake for tummy time. Chris and Tom talk once when Ron is out with the dogs. They both think last night was a one off. A combo of things that just caused so much stress he got illogical. They agree to watch out for more.

More never comes. Ron seems to entirely forget that night. Not forget. Move past. He fully embraces being Jake’s dad. Chris and Tom both think Ron as made to have kids. Jesus Christ it should be illegal for him to be so hot with a kid in his arms.

They’re okay. It’ll be fine until it isn’t and then they’ll talk about it. Work through it.

[alittlebitofeverythingsworld]

Chapter 2 started

Let me know what you guys think so far

Any and all comments are welcome! Please note this isn't done this is just what I have so far

Kitty closed the curtain around Red’s bed for privacy. Red then said “These dumbasses have the nerve to put me and another guy in the same room” Kitty said’s “Red the hospital is full and they have no room to put patients in separate rooms”. She then said's “him and his wife seem really nice you should give it a try”. Red deep down knowing Kitty was right about the whole thing said “ well I still don’t like it and I still don’t like this dumbass gown that they made me put on”. Kitty chuckled and gave Red a kiss on the forehead.

She then grabbed a chair close by and sat down next to him and took his hand in hers. She begins to say with a tear “Red you scared me back there I was so afraid of losing you”. He looked at her “Kitty, I promise you I’m not going anywhere with a smile and said “come here for a moment and lay with me the bed has enough room for the both of us”. She got up from the chair went over to Red’s bed and laid beside him and closed her eyes for a moment. This was where they were meant to be even if it was in a hospital room shared with another man and his wife currently. Red and Kitty did not care in that moment.

Meanwhile in the bed next to Red’s and the curtain closed because C.C wanted the privacy with Niles. C.C wanted to be close to Niles so she brought over a chair to sit down. C.C sat down next to Niles. C.C was also pregnant with Niles and hers baby so her hormones were all over the place. So when a tear or two started to run down her face she quickly wiped them although Niles was looking right at her and saw.

She said “ Damn hormones and pregnancy making me weak”. Niles smiled and said “C.C you are not weak, you are one of the bravest but strongest woman I know”. C.C couldn’t help but smile at his comment. Married life had definitely brought out a softer side to them although they would occasionally make a few insults once in a while though today was not the day. He then also said “C.C and its okay to show those feelings this was a scary event and I know that you love and care about me to having a fear of loosing me”. She then said “Niles this was scary and I think this time it scared me more knowing I could lose the one I loved” She continued to say that “When you had your first heart attack I was so worried and scared and i also missed you and if you tell anyone about this you’ll be sleeping alone when we get back home”. He laughed at that comment and said “C.C I would never tell anyone anything that was personal to you, you should know that by now”. C.C smiled and then Niles said C.C darling come here and lay with me for a moment. So she moved the chair and they laid together for what seemed like forever. Then before they drifted off to a nap they both said I love you.

Meanwhile on Red’s side of the room Red’s room phone had began to run and it was Eric their son who had called to make sure that Red was okay and then he had asked when they were going to release Red. Red said “son I have no idea when these dumbasses are going to let me go”. Kitty then takes the phone and talks to Eric. Eric then tells her he’s coming down to the hospital to visit and is going to bring Leia with. Leia has a doctors appointment anyways so I’ll swing by dad’s room when we are done so you can all see and hold her for a bit. Kitty is excited and also lets Eric know that Red has to share a room with another patient and his wife is here with them visiting. Eric said’s that’s fine by me and I will see you all soon. Kitty is now excited and kisses Red’s forehead finally she thinks I am going to see and hold that granddaughter of ours.

Eric then gets Leia all ready to head out to go to the hospital. Kitty stays with Red in excitement to see her granddaughter. Red smiles at that the thought that Kitty is so happy but thinks to himself “Eric better not be bringing anymore of his dumbass friends right now”. 

@supernannygirl704things

@moongoddess2376

@sweetteaandpie

[exvangelicalrage]

Hell Wasn’t The Problem

4/21/23

All this talk about hell reminds me of the Oprah meme. I made a christian version for you:

christians are obsessed with hell, though I'm pleased to say, my brother doesn't believe in it despite identifying as christian. So that's a good thing.

Anyway, 5-year-old me, I stated semi-incorrectly in my previous post, was afraid of hell. But actually, that wasn't it. What I was afraid of was separation from my mom.

That's a pretty lizard brain thing, I think. 

Here's how it worked: my mom was sick. She'd been sick my whole life. Almost died during childbirth, in fact (I almost died too!), as a result of her condition. 

Growing up, I always knew she could die at any moment. My parents were christian though, and so we believed that if she did die, it would suck, but it'd be fine. Why would it be fine, you ask? 

Obviously, because she was going to heaven. And all I had to do was make sure I got there eventually too, and we could live out eternity as one big happy family (assuming my dad and brothers also made it). 

Then I learned that "bad behavior" = sin and sin prevents you from getting into heaven. The only way to fix it was to either never fuck up, or to repent of all your mistakes. Of course, they added, everyone is a sinner. That means everyone needs to repent.

So right from the get-go, you started out on the wrong side of the fence.

Enter my first existential crisis (as an elementary school student): what the hell was I doing wrong? 

I was five, six, seven. Sometimes I cried or got mad. I knew that. So I said sorry. I said sorry for not knowing how to tie my shoes. For not wanting to go to school. For getting upset when my brother was mean to me.

Every single little thing I assumed was a mistake. If my mom cried, it was my fault. If I didn't want to do my chores, I was a bad person. If I disobeyed, I was on a slippery slope to hell. And to me, I didn't even care about the fire or eternal damnation or all these concepts that were supposed to frighten you into donating ten percent of your gross income to the church. 

All I cared about was that I might never see my mom again. 

Every time a pastor warned me about lying, stealing, premarital lust, being sad, not fulfilling my role as a female human, daring to question a man in a leadership position��it was like a little bell in the back of my head would ring and a warning message would flash: You're never going to see your mom again.

And the closer she came to death—every ineffective doctor's appointment, every test gone wrong, every step backward—the fear intensified. My mom's death wasn't a vague thing. It wasn't something that would eventually happen in the far future and I could just not think about it.

Try not thinking about it when she's lying on the couch vomiting into a bucket for three days.

Try not thinking about it when she's in so much pain she can't even stand up.

Try not thinking about it when old ladies make rude comments about her being too young to use an electric cart at the grocery store. Or when you're loading her wheelchair into the trunk of the car. Or when you're twelve years old and carrying in the groceries and doing the laundry and cleaning the house because she can't.

Her death was a fear I stared in the face every single day.

I guess it shouldn't surprise me that as an adult, I turned my back on an ideology that told a five-year-old they were so evil they were likely to be ripped away from their mother at a moment's notice, separated for all eternity. From an ideology that offered no guarantees that heaven was even attainable. From an ideology that couldn't even make up its mind about what the "right" path to heaven was. 

Which means it also shouldn't be surprising that believing nothing comes after death is a much easier belief to bear.

There is no heaven; there is no hell. There is only now. 

When I die, I'll be dead.

And that's okay.

[boy-gender]

@gaytrashfire​ I wanted to reply to you specifically because of this, in good faith. Yes, this does translate into the real world. I’d like to share a personal experience with it, but tw for CSA and medical abuse.

I have a friend who is a cis woman, who I’ve been friends with since high school. She knew me before I came out as a trans boy, and she’s known me since. We are the best of friends- I go to doctors appointments with her, we go on vacations together, we buy each other food, we babysit each other’s pets, we run errands together. I’m going to be in her wedding party next year, and she’s going to be in mine the year after. We’ve been best friends for nearly 20 years.

A couple years ago, we went on vacation together to a beach, along with both of our fiances. We were driving through a beach town, and a man was walking on the sidewalk next to our car as we were driving. He happened to glance at our car, then kept going on his way- my friend said she was so disgusted that a man had looked at her that she wanted to ram her car into him.

Let me reiterate: a pedestrian, who happened to be a man, glanced at our car that was driving a couple feet from him, and my friend was so disgusted by his mere existence in a public space that she wanted to murder him with a vehicle.

This wasn’t the first time she had said things like this, but it was the most violent of the bunch so far, and it was the moment that crystalized things for me. Every comment she had made dating back about hating men, about fearing them, about being disgusted with their existence. Every time we were in public and she got anxious near a man- who was doing nothing to us- and she subsequently started to lash out at those men and at us, her friends. Every comment about how, being bisexual, she disparaged being attracted to men and thought of it as a curse. Everything came to a head then. Because I was a man in that car- the only man in that car.

My friend has a lot of trauma. She was raped as a child (I don’t know how many times), and continuously abused by doctors- particularly male doctors- about her weight all through her life, from childhood onward. She pathologically avoids doctors even when she’s extremely ill- sometimes I have to go to check ups with her, because she cannot go on her own. She’s been misdiagnosed with high blood pressure because that’s how stressed she gets knowing that a man is going to potentially be around her touching her body, like during a check up. She has an unmedicated anxiety disorder and PTSD, and because she’s scared of doctors, she won’t seek treatment.

The men who hurt my friend deserve to rot. I’d put them there myself if I had the ability.

But that random beachgoer on the sidewalk wasn’t those men. Neither were the men in walmart, or the gas station attendant, or our male professors, or any other random man we encountered ever that she despised. I wasn’t those men.

We had to have a long talk, because her ideology only left room for two possibilities: 1 she hated and feared every man in existence so much so that she must also hate and fear me, or 2 the reason she did not hate me was because she didn’t truly see me as a man. Either I was a monster, or I was misgendered. The way she spoke and thought about men left only those options, as all bioessentialism does. Man evil, women good. People who not evil must somehow be women or women-adjacent: this is how she justified still caring about me, a trans man, and our nonbinary friends of any agab. She never used the wrong name or pronouns with me; never referred to me as a woman. But in her head, that was where she was sorting me. I couldn’t be a good or safe person and be a man; the two were mutually exclusive.

When I told her this, she broke down. It was a rough week of pouring our hearts out. That was a few years ago, and she’s made so much progress as a person since then. I honestly think I may have stopped her heading down the radfem pipeline. My existence forced her to address the failings of her binary worldview, and to come to terms with the nuances not just of transmasculinity but also manhood in general.

It’s hard to acknowledge that there is no one thing that makes terrible people do terrible things. My friend wanted to blame the evil of her abusers on them being men, but evil is not an essential trait. To do evil, to hurt another person, is always a choice, and it’s a choice anyone of any gender is capable of. Evil people are people, and to see them as complete people- like ourselves- is frightening. It’s confusing and complex and reminds us that we too are capable of hurting others, if we choose to. Healing is messy, and it’s been very messy for my friend.

But since that talk she’s never spoken like that again. She still gets anxious around men who get too close to her in public, or loud male voices, and I still go to the doctor with her. But men can exist around her- and she can exist around them- without curling up into a ball of panic and violence. She has a long way to go, but she’s come a long way too. And most importantly she’d learned to lay the blame for what happened to her where it belongs- on the fuckers who hurt her- and to stop using it to bludgeon everyone else around her. The things she said, the venom behind them, those hurt the most marginalized men and masc ppl in her life: me, a trans man, our AMAB nonbinary friend, her butch fiance. We had to hear her vitriol; we had to live with it. My friend was driving that car at the beach- I was at her mercy, in the back seat, wondering if under any other circumstance would it be me she was gunning for. The men who hurt her had power and privilege, which is why they used it to abuse a little girl. Her thoughts and her comments never reached or hurt them. She couldn’t touch them. But she felt she had to hurt somebody, so she hurt us, because we were what was in reach. And as a cis woman, she felt she had some modicum of privilege over us trans and nb and gnc people, so she punched down. And if that sounds familiar to you (terfs, radfems, tradwives) then you are correct. Same line of logic; same bioessentialism, applied and misapplied for maximum damage.

I wish I had a better end to the story, but our story isn’t over yet. She and I have healing to do- her while she navigates her trauma in a patriarchal society, and me while I grow into being a man. But our story is true, and painful, and it’s just one story of hundreds of thousands. My friend was poisoned and made ever more terrified by the encouragement of this kind of online shit, but it didn’t leave her when she logged off. She took it with her and weaponized it in real life, just like hundreds of thousands of others will. You may not experience it, but please believe us when trans men and transmasculine people say we do.

a lot y’all think it’s Peak Ally to be like “i treat trans men the same way i treat cis men uwu” but that isn’t helpful when u treat cis men like garbage bc u believe all men are biologically evil and don’t deserve basic human decency bc then guess what happens. u treat trans men like we’re evil and don’t deserve basic human decency. which, considering there’s currently a genocide being carried out against trans people (including trans men, bc ik some of y’all need to be reminded of that) in at least one country, maybe that’s like. not great!

[crisishauntline]

Today was long. It started off very stupidly with only four hours of sleep due to my inexplicable decision to stay up until 5am playing Civ 6. Then I called out from work so I could sleep a little more before going to Oakland to accompany L to her ultrasound appointment. She’s been increasingly anxious about the pain and what might be causing it, and about hospitals and doctors overall, which is more than valid given her history. But I’ve been able to support her in facing those fears so far, and I trust that we’ll make it to the other side.

Today was a bit scary though. They wouldn’t let me be in the room with her like they did last time when it was just a Pap smear, and the technician also couldn’t tell her anything about her results or diagnosis at the time. They posted the results on her patient portal soon after we left, but the notes were really jargon-y and hard to understand. Since she can’t talk to her doctor about them until her doctor calls her, we called my dad and asked him to translate. It turns out she has a mass a bit larger than a baseball pressing her left ovary (the only one she has left), but they won’t be able to tell what exactly it is without doing a laparoscopy/biopsy. He did convey the good news that it’s not blocking any important blood vessels or twisting, and that it’s really unlikely to be cancer given her age. Hearing that helped her anxiety (and mine) a lot. Still, a baseball-sized tumor or cyst is fucking up her life and she will likely need some kind of surgery to get it removed, so the worries and stress will continue for a while longer.

She did really well breathing though the panic today. I can see the toll it takes on her energy, but I can also tell that I’m helping her stay strong. I checked in with her again before she went to bed to see if there was a post-sundown nosedive, but aside from some teariness she sounded positive.

I was glad to hear her ground herself in two truths:

1) She’s not crazy and does know when something is wrong and unbearable in her own body

2) This process will eventually end with her feeling better.

I told her I was proud to have witnessed her harnessing her bravery and self-advocacy, and affirmed her for unlearning her default response to suffering—to grin and bear it alone and in silence. I have seen her grow so much when it comes to taking her own needs and pain seriously. I love and admire her so much.

Yesterday we played We’re Not Really Strangers and came to the question “In what ways, big or small, have I changed your worldview?” I really struggled to think of a single thing, and was very dissatisfied with my eventual answer. She was clearly disappointed by it too. I felt so embarrassed that I couldn’t even articulate the core thesis of her show, which I’ve seen now at least four times. All I could manage was a barely coherent and extremely vague string of fragments, some merely describing what her job is and some waxing poetic/woo-woo about a general sense of wonder and Interconnectedness. She said it made her feel she must be missing something from her show for me to not have even remembered her thesis, let alone take it into my worldview. She even tried to re-explain it to me—that humans and our observations of the universe through science are not separate from the universe; we are how the universe thinks about learns about itself. That sentence struck me as fascinating and very poetic, but to be honest I still felt confused about what it actually means to her, or should mean to me. I also struggled to remember her saying anything close to that in the show but mostly remember it being straightforward facts with a concluding reflection on how astronomy is for everyone—“all you need is a night sky,” or something to that effect. So maybe that larger point is missing. Or maybe I haven’t been listening right.

I’ve continued racking my brain trying to come up with the “right” answer to the game’s question. One that at least makes her feel seen in some way, even if not in this most important one. Today I tried articulating a different idea: her ability to notice, seek out, love, and find meaning in the “little weirds” of existence, no matter what. When I am depressed I so easily slip into distorted, dissociative negative generalizations about what existence is and what it has to offer. I forget that life can always surprise me. Even when it’s impossible to find or feel joy, there are still countless strange and fascinating little facts, experiences, and works of art to remind you that you don’t actually know everything about life and therefore must re-examine your judgement that life is pointless. Or you may be right about the pointlessness, but wrong to discount the richness of pointless existence. So you may as well stick around to learn and be surprised some more. Some prime illustrations of this trait:

1) The tumblr status she made when we were broken up (“My ex-girlfriend broke my heart so now I’m devoting my life to becoming an eccentric kook").

2) Her readily responding to my long, overthought text about how we could spend time together again by suggesting we make crop circles.

I’m not sure if this answer made her feel seen in the way she wanted. I hoped to offset her disappointment from last night, but I think even if this second answer were perfect on its own, the fact that the first one is still unresolved leaves a melancholy taste in the mouth. Oh well. I still meant it and think it’s a at least a decent answer.

Her answer to the question, for the record, was how I had challenged her to broaden her mindset about religion and spirituality. And hey, I worked hard on that one so I was happy to hear it. On the other hand, I don’t actually feel the need to change her worldview. I told her I like the way she thinks and enjoy when she shares it with me. I just want her to not automatically hate others’ worldviews that include religion/spirituality. But I suppose that is still a change in worldview, if not in belief.

Anyway, it’s late and I’m exhausted. There’s one last thing I want to add though: I made a drawing of her that I’m actually proud of. Admittedly, this is what I did all yesterday instead of my job, which is not ideal. But I really enjoyed making it and surprising myself with a much better-than-expected result!

[automatismoateo]

Deconverted from Christianity - One Year Later via /r/atheism

Deconverted from Christianity - One Year Later

I posted in this sub about a year ago with this post and wanted to reflect on how things have been going.

I haven't started believing in God again, not in the slightest. Even when things got bad, I didn't break down and start praying again. Relying on my own ability has gotten me further in situations than praying and the inaction that follows ever did.

I have started actually taking care of myself. Before, when I believed there was a heaven, I didn't really care what happened to me in this life. Now, I realize this is the only one I get. I started taking my mental health seriously, because Christianity had taught me to stifle it, "give it to God", and move on. Through actual concrete steps to better my mentals, I found out that I'm autistic and have an anxiety disorder. These are things I would have never found out had I remained in the Christian mindset of being "spiritually attacked".

My relationship with my wife, who deconverted at the same time, has improved and there is much less tension in our relationship. I have also been teaching our daughter lessons in science and how to appreciate nature in all its glory. It has been a wonderful experience so far. She still goes to church with my parents on Sundays sometimes, but finds it, in her own words, "boring".

It's not all good things, as the biggest hiccup I have had is overcoming a fear of death that, because of the previous "assurance" of an afterlife, I had never dealt with. Panic attacks started a few weeks ago, with the birth of our second child coming up and I worry what would happen if I keeled over. But, because I can think and act for myself now, instead of consulting a deity, I am just waiting for my appointment with my doctor. It feels good to feel like I have more control over my own life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope all of the other recent deconverts are also doing well.

Submitted April 04, 2023 at 03:38PM by WhoIsThePenguin (From Reddit https://ift.tt/CXL37eO)

[overtakebrownwren]

Jason and Dick predeath- normal collage age older brother visiting and bothering little brother and taking him on the occasional adventures. assume that this is normal because they haven’t had siblings before and their friends with siblings say this is normal.

Dick post death- mess of fear and guilt and trauma hovering over tiny robins and associates like they will disappear if he doesn’t see them. Older adult sibling to tiny, at risk, babies. The new kids assume this is normal because they have limited experience with any healthy family dynamics and trust Dick to know what’s best. Dick’s trauma+ their inexperience= new “normal”

Jason and Dick post return- Dick trying to perform his new normal on his long lost brother, thinking that he needs to make up for the affection that Jason missed out on because Dick was not traumatized/his parent and thus was a bad big brother. Jason, being in his “No one’s son” phase and having had little supervision for the last years of his teenagehood, freaking out over this hovering and controlling behavior.

Dick: Not to diagnose you but we need to get you into Arkham for a check up. I’m thinking 10 am tomorrow. Wear something comfy.

Jason: What?

Dick: Don’t worry, I’ll drive you there and back. And I’ve already gotten you a daily pill holder to help you keep track of your medicine.

Jason: WHAT?

Tim: They are very helpful. And he decorated mine with really cute bird stickers!

Jason: I... I don’t need meds. And if I did, I could go to a doctor by myself?

Tim: But... Why? 

Dick: Are you angry at me? I’ve apologized for not being more involved when you were young- can’t you forgive me and let me help you now?

Jason: I... I don’t know what you are going on about but I will shoot you if you don’t leave right now. (starts to draw weapon)

Running in the other direction:

Dick: Well dang, I still have that appointment. Hey Robin?

Tim: Yeah?

Dick: You still think Bruce is alive, right? Want to hangout tomorrow at 10 am? I’ll pick you up?

Tim: ...

Tim: ... You know I think I have an appointment with Ra’s Al Ghul tomorrow. Won’t be in town for a few months. Dang. Too bad.

Dick: Awww, too bad. Well I guess I can bully Jason into going after all.

Dick: Wait. Did you say Ra’s?

Tim (from far away and sprinting further): Good Luck with Jason! See you in a few months!

Dick: :( Why don’t my brothers let me take care of them.

Dick "I was a terrible older brother and I need to make up for it" Grayson and Jason "for the love of god leave me the fuck alone" Todd.

[redheadspark]

Take it Slow

Summary: Here’s what both the Female Eternal and Druig would go through with baby Melody’s firsts at the farmhouse

A/N: Since I’m on a Daddy Druig binge with no way out, I got an idea from @a-lumos-in-the-nox​ with Melody’s first and what would happen with her.

Laugh

Melody was a quiet baby.

Since the beginning she hardly made a sound.  Druig would joke she got it from him since he was strong silent type.  

She could cry when she was hungry or if she was wet, but apart from that she was quiet and calm.

It scared you at first, that she wasn’t wailing for screaming her head off.

“It just means she knows you two are protecting her,” Sersi reassured you as she came to visit the three of you from London at your home when Melody was only a month old, “Babies are very smart and highly intuitive, more than we realize.  I think your daughter knows that her mother and father are nearby, she feels safe.”

As she grew, Druig made it his personal mission to make Melody laugh.

By the time she was 2 months old, Druig would be making faces at her when he thought you weren’t looking.  It was quite comical, seeing the Mind Controller try his best to make his own baby laugh.

But when Melody shrieked in laughter and in joy one afternoon as he sang to her one of the old songs from the Amazon village, the sound was like bells ringing in the air as Druig beamed in pride.  

Since then, Melody loved laughing for her father when he would pull a face at her or sing to her in his low tremor of a voice.  Sure, you were  pinch jealous, but you never showed it outwardly.  Yet of course, Druig saw through it and teased. 

“Don’t get jealous that I caught the affections of another girl, my darlin’.” Druig teased at you as he cradled Melody against his chest to help her go to sleep.  You just rolled your eyes.

Rolling

“There you go, Petal,” You cooed at your 4 month old daughter as you placed her on her tummy, seeing her attempt to keep her head up and focused on you as you laid out on your own stomach.  You faced her, resting your chin on your hands as you were looking at your daughter with a grin on your face as her thick brown hair bobbed with her head movements.  

Melody was holding herself up while on her stomach, her body strength was coming along much more than your thought.  You took her in for a check up with her Pediatrician, hearing that Melody was on the right track with her development.  The doctor even stated Melody was almost ahead of the curve, having you inwardly wonder if it may have had something to do with both of her parents as Eternal beings.  

“We’ll take it as we go,” Druig said to you as you talked to him about the appointment while Melody napped in her bassinet, “Let’s not think too hard to too much into it.  She’s fine, sweetheart.  Nothing to worry about with our daughter, okay?”

Since then, you couldn’t help but worry.  If she was an Eternal like you, or if she was a human.  If she was going to show abilities, or if she was even going to have an ability.  So many worries filled your mind and haunted you at time, but you mostly worried about if Melody was going to be okay.  

Simply okay.

“Let’s try this” You said to Melody as you moved her to be on her back, seeing her stare up at you as you were perched over her and grinning down at her.  She laughed, reaching up with her tiny fingers to touch your hair that as falling around your face.  You gave her sweet kisses and moved away slightly, seeing her squirm a bit in her spot from you being too far away.

Melody cooed at you, gurgling with her lips as she started to roll from her back quite clumsily.  You watched on bated breath, seeing her take a few tries to get to her stomach, almost grunting in the process.  

But when she finally made it to your stomach, you laughed and cheered for her as she grinned widely at you.  

Scooping her in your arms, you kissed her all over her face and felt her squirm in your embrace and in your lap.  Those fears and insecurities melted away in that small moment, seeing your daughter able to handle herself and make herself move and roll.  Perhaps those fears were still going to be there, but they were dimmed down now that you saw your daughter roll.

First Words

It was on the tip of her tongue, you both knew it and you were waiting.

But waiting to hear your daughter say her first word was getting to be unbearable.

Both yourself and Druig tried everyday to make her speak, Druig even turning it into a competition

“Bet you I can make her talk first,” Druig said to you in a challenging tone while you changed Melody in the nursery.  You couldn’t help but scoff.

“Are you telling me you wish to compete to have our child talk?” You questioned him as you finished cleaning your daughter and getting her in a  new diaper.

“What, you don’t think you can win?” Druig countered back with you.  You chuckled.

“Oh no, I’ll win.  I just find it funny thinking that you’re gonna win,” You replied smoothly.  You saw the dark look of a challenge in his eyes,

“You’re on,” he vowed.

So you two tried and persuaded Melody, all day every day to get her to say that first word.  No matter how many times Druig fed Melody her favorite fruit, or how playful you were when you showed Melody her favorite toy and blanket, Melody was silent.  She giggled and laughed, but no words just yet.

“She’s stubborn,” You hummed, seeing Druig sigh in defeat as he failed once again in making Melody chat in her high chair.  Druig glared at you as you shrugged, “She gets it from you, you know,”

Her first word came out of the blue one afternoon as you were sitting out on a blanket in the backyard, the spring air was too sweet to pass by.  Druig was tending to the two horses in the corral, giving them fresh hay as you were with Melody no too far away on the quilt.  

Melody’s hair was flowing in the spring wind as she was playing with her toys.  Her stuffed lovey horse, a gift from her Aunt Sprite, was in her chubby hands as she was watched the horses near her father.  You could tell Melody watched her father like a hawk, needing to know where he was at all times.  She was almost a splitting image of Druig: from the color in her brown hair to her piercing blue eyes.  

But she snapped her head over to you and locked eyes at you.

“Mama!” 

Her voice was so gentle, almost like a flower petal itself as you froze.  Druig stopped too, his head whipping over in the direction of Melody as you were griping so wide your face was hurting.  She called your Mama, the one title you were beyond proud to have more than Eternal.  It felt like a massive seal over your heart, warmth soothing over the smaller fractures pieces that were still there after decades and centuries of pain and sometimes insecurities.  To hear your daughter, your child, call you Mama was so therapeutic.

“Did she..?” Druig asked as he walked over, looking in disbelief as you nodded your head rapidly while still looking at your child.  Melody kept watching you, seeing your reacting and the small tears falling from your eyes.  You reached out yours hands to her, seeing her drop her stuffed horse and touch your hands with her fingers.

“Say it again, Petal,” You urged her as Druig knelt down next to you, also looking at Melody with a grin on his face, “Please say it again, Mel!”

“Mama!  Mama mama!”

You found yourself in a bear hug with your husband and daughter on the picnic blanket, laughing and giggling in joy as your daughter said her first word. The rest of the world melted away as Druig kissed her cheeks and Melody shrieked in the love she was receiving.  You felt blessed and honored to have your daughter call you Mama.

Yet the feeling was short lived three days alter when she said, “Dada,”  

Druig never made you forget it for the next two weeks.  

Walking

“Come on, Mel!  You can do it!  Come over to Daddy!”

Melody was standing up, holding onto the edge of the coffee table and was watching Druig who was about two feet away with outstretched hands and was beckoning her to take her first step.  You were folding the laundry on the couch, watching and grinning as your daughter was intensely analyzing what she was going to do.

If Melody was anything like her father, she was careful in her choices.

When she started to crawl, she was a speed demon.  Going from one spot to another so fast it made your head spin as you tried to keep up with her.  Melody had to be wherever you and Druig where, which meant your privacy was long gone. 

She would find her hands in everything and anything that was in reach, Druig and yourself realizing that you had to baby proof the house in more ways than one.

“I think your inherited Aunt Makkari’s sticky fingers,” Druig grumbled as he found Melody with one of your shirts and one of his black socks, “I’m gonna have a talk with her about teachin’ ya how to steal,”

Melody merely giggled at the mention of her Godmother’s name

You could see she wanted to walk, she wanted to so bad.  But she also bumped into things as she crawled, just as toddlers do.  Melody was not a fan of getting the small scrapes and bruises when she would knock her head against the wall or slip on the hardwood floor.

Druig was a softy when she got hurt, holding her close and kissing away the fat tears down her massive cheeks. So when you can see she was wanting to walk, she was cautious.

All you and Druig could so was give her that nudge.

“I think I have an idea,” Druig said in a hum, moving up and walking over to the small toy box you had in the living room.  You watched, Melody watching her father too with a confused look on her face.  

But he walked back with her infamous stuffed horse, her favorite soft toy she ever got from one her extended family members.  It was almost a surreal thing to get it from Sprite, the one human in your family.  But inwardly, you were happy Melody was attached to the lovey.  

Melody saw her beloved horse in her father’s hands, grunting at him in annoyance and throwing out of her chubby hand at Druig to gesture him to give it to her.  You giggled, seeing her stubbornness about to come through.

“You want it Petal?” he asked her, shaking it in his hands to almost toy with her.  Melody huffed and leaned out, not leaving the coffee table just yet, “Well come get it, Mel.  Come get it!”

“Really?  You’re gonna toy and tease our child to get her to walk?” You asked as you folded a few of her blankets, Druig smirking at you as you couldn’t help but scoff, “That’s just mean, honey.  Give her the horse,”

“Nope!  She’s gonna have to come and get it if she wants it so bad,” Druig replied in determination.

“I’m tempting to take a picture and show the family that you’re toying with our daughter in order to entice her to walk,” You said to him, reaching over to your cell phone near Melody’s hand as she was still staring at the stuffed animal in her father’s hand.  Druig shot you a stare.

“Don’t you dare,” he warned, though there was no venom to it.  Yet as you two were talking to one another, Melody was determined to get her horse from the clutches of her father.

So she walked over on wobbly steps.

You both froze as she did, watching with no sign of moving to break the spell as she wobbly walked over and kept herself up.  It took her a few steps, the last two were very scary as she practically fell into your father’s lap, snapping her horse from his frozen clutches. 

Druig, after getting over his shock from seeing Melody walk to him for the first time, finally grinned and laughed as he snuggled her close. You clapped and cheered, hearing Melody giggle as Druig was kissing her all over and ticking her sides.

You snuck a picture on your phone of the pair fo them embracing one another, sending it to the Eternals group chat and keeping the memory forever in your mind.

Yet now you knew she was now walking, you knew you and Druig were in a new whirlwind of trouble. 

But it was worth it.  Melody was worth it. ‘

The End.

I’m making the tag #daddydruigandmelody for this series so you guys can find it faster!  I hope you liked it!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sugar, Sugar 15

[FIFTEEN/END]

MASTERLIST

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape, violence, mean sugary Steve

This is a dark! sugar daddy! Steve fic. Obvious AU so please keep that in mind. :) That being said, it will be an explicit fic (18+) with noncon. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

(This chapter: violence, threats, fear  :O)

Series Summary: The reader is struggling in the big city but find opportunity before her. Will she take it?

This Chapter: The wedding day approaches but not everything goes to plan.

Author Notes: So this is another series wrapped up after a grueling two years, haha. Sorry y’all.

Please let me know what you think, like and reblog <3 love ya

🍭 🍭 🍭

The floor length mirror was trimmed with twisted gold. You stared at your reflection as your shaky hands pressed against the front of the ivory dress. The cut hid the small bump but you could not forget it. Ever since you confessed, it all happened so fast; the wedding was pushed up, the dress tailored and expedited, and invitations sent out in a rush.

It all felt surreal. The day had come but you just couldn’t accept it. How could you go through those doors and smile through it all?

You closed your eyes and let your breath out. They would knock when it was your time. Your father would be waiting to walk you down the aisle. The guests waited eagerly for the most talked about ceremony in the city. And you still felt like just a footnote in your own wedding.

You moved away from the mirror and sat unsteadily, gripping the arms of the cushioned chair, careful not to catch your veil under you. That night you told him, that was the final straw. But you didn’t forget what Sasha said. You took a picture of the broken door and wrote down the entire scene. You sent it to yourself in an email as proof.

That wasn’t the last time. You recorded Steve one day when he came in as you were texting your sister about the new date. You hadn’t answered his last message about your first appointment with the doctor. He was livid and you sat and listened to him rant as the red dots pulsed. You wrote down every instance, every time he made you appease him, every terrifying word.

Then there were the police reports. Nothing more than words in a filing cabinet but the night he choked you was just the beginning. He threatened to break your finger when you took your ring off because your hands were swelling. Then he broke your laptop when you didn’t pay him enough attention. 

As the wedding loomed closer, he only seemed to get worse. He was clingy, always touching you, marveling over your stomach. He checked in almost every hour on the hour when he was working, and you weren’t stupid enough not to notice that the building was being watched.

It was like you were living two lives and yet you were entirely trapped with him. What good could the emails do? Or the reports when the police wouldn’t act on them? You were going to marry this man and that would be the end of it; of you, of your life.

Knuckles tapped on the door and you stood. You crossed the room and inched it open the door. You flinched as you were met by an unexpected and uninvited guest.

“Sasha?” you gasped.

“You’re marrying him then?” he held the handle but you didn’t try to close the door, “the account gone, I heard nothing from you.”

“I… I’m scared,” you admitted, “when he found out, I thought he was going to--” you shook your head. He wouldn’t actually kill you.

“You know it’s not too late,” Sasha urged.

“You can’t be here, it he finds out, he’ll--”

“I’ll defend myself,” Sasha snarled uncharacteristically, “I’ll give him what he deserves.’

“No, I don’t want you to get hurt. You need to go,” you begged as you glanced past him furtively.

“I will. Come with me,” he said, “just go. Everyone’s distracted, they won’t know--”

“I can’t just leave. You don’t understand--”

“No, you don’t understand,” he argued, “if you marry him, it all gets so much more complicated. I told you that day at the café. It will be harder to fight after the vows, but right now, you can still get out.”

“And go where?”

He swallowed and looked down the hall. You could hear the distant murmur of the crowd.

“Did you do any of it? Keep a journal? Something?” he asked.

“I tried. I went to the police but nothing,” you sniffed and gripped the door tight.

“Nothing yet but that’s a start,” he chewed the inside of his lip.

“Why are you here? Why is this so important to you?”

“Because I can do something,” he hissed, “because I can’t live with it if I don’t. So come on. Come with me, I got a bigger place. It’ll have to do for now and then we’ll work on getting you standing, getting the baby somewhere to grow--”

“Am I trading him for you?”

“I’m your friend,” he said evenly, “that will never change. All I want is you safe. If it makes you feel better, I’ll sleep in the hall. You can lock me out and I’ll sleep against the door. But I came down here knowing I wouldn’t leave without you.”

“It’s a sweet fantasy but--”

“Come on,” he grabbed your hand and pushed the door open, “please, don’t go with him. It doesn’t end well. You don’t get out. It doesn’t get better.”

“I have nothing,” you quavered.

“You have me,” he said, “please don’t make me walk out of here alone.”

“I….” you uttered as your heart squeezed. “He’ll come after you.”

“Good, I want him to,” he clung to you, “please?”

You inhaled and heard the voices. Your father and your sister. You had no time to think but you knew it was your only chance.

“Let’s go,” you lifted your skirt and pulled the door shut behind you as you stepped out, “now.”

He held onto your hand as you rushed away from the voices and skirted around the corner. Sasha urged you on down the back stairs and through the maze like halls of the extravagant church. You nearly tumbled down the stairs and he caught you as you came along the narrow passage beside the main room, the guests and groom just on the other side of the wall.

You came out into the sunlight and Sasha lifted the train of your skirts as he directed you over the grass. our heels sank into the dirt as you rushed over and the organ began to play Here Comes the Bride. As he helped stuff the swathes of fabric in behind you in his modest car, the music stopped suddenly.

He closed the door as you were squished in the back seat amid your layered skirts and he got in the front. The engine turned and he nearly side swept another car as he pulled out without looking. You peeked back behind you but saw no one coming down the large steps of the church.

He turned the corner and sidled in behind a yellow cab. He looked at you in the mirror and nodded. You bit your lips nervously as reality sank in. Your chest hammered and your entire body buzzed with adrenaline. You knew it was only the beginning.

🍭

The day passed in a daze. You sat in your wedding dress waiting for all hell to break loose. Sasha sat with a beer, silently, and tapped his foot endlessly. When the silence was too much, he turned on the television but neither of you paid any attention to the old sitcom.

When the trance of disbelief dissipated, he showed you around his spacious loft. He was being paid well by Stark but you worried how long he would stay on the payroll after what he’d done. Steve wasn’t stupid and there were more photographers at the church then you’d seen collectively over the last year and a half.

“This is the second bedroom,” he showed you into a room with gleaming windows. There was a bed, a dresser, curtains, a cozy rug, all carefully selected, “I thought you’d be here sooner.”

Your eyes lingered on the box leaned against the far wall. A crib.

“Didn’t know how long…” his voice trailed off as he followed your eye line, “I’m not trying to be him. You can go anytime but I… you have a place here.”

Your eyes welled and you blotted them with your knuckles, the rough lace of your gloves scratching your cheeks, “you did all this for me?”

“I told you, I’d do anything,” he said.

“But… Sasha, I don’t--”

“I don’t expect anything from you. High school was a long time ago but you made it bearable for the biggest dweeb in the class.” He sighed and paced a circle around the room, “you know, I had the biggest crush on you. That doesn’t mean anything now, it doesn’t mean I want you to fall into my arms, but it means I want to help you. It’s the right thing to do, somehow I made a career of doing the right thing so what’s one more?”

You felt your chest sink and you covered your cheeks with your hands, “Sasha?”

“Please,” he cringed, “I was a teen boy, I think I had a thing for Oprah once. Really, it’s just… we’re friends. We’ll always be friends.”

“I can’t…” you sniffled and dropped your hands, “I don’t deserve any of this.”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Sasha intoned, “and you don’t deserve to live like that. I know this isn’t much but I know you. You’ll find your way, you just got a little lost.”

“I…” you shook your head speechless.

“We’ll figure everything else out tomorrow. You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and then we can see about retrieving your things from Steve,” he neared the door and stopped beside you, “or we can say fuck it and you can start all over.”

You turned and slung your arms around him. You buried your face against his shoulder as tears spilled out onto his jacket.

“How did you know?” you sobbed.

“That day at the shower,” he rubbed your back gently, “you know, lawyers learn how to read people and you never were very good at subtlety.”

“No,” you chuckled through your tears, “No, it’s why I was great as a bard.”

“Mmm,” he grumbled, “if that’s how you remember it.”

🍭

It felt like Sasha was gone forever but when you checked the clock, it had only been twenty minutes. 

You sat on the couch with your feet under you as you watched the news and rocked nervously. All anyone was talking about was Steve Rogers’ runaway bride. Your face was everywhere and the statement issued by Steve made it all the worse.

He painted you as a gold-digger, as an adulterer, as a swindler. He was the heartbroken fiancé and you were the wrongdoer. You knew it would go this way but expectation never softened reality.

You flinched as the lock turned and Sasha entered with a bag in hand. He came to the couch and set it down beside you.

“I don’t know about my taste in women's clothes but those should do,” he said as he checked his watch, “we should go soon.”

“Yeah,” you stood and opened the bag to reveal the lavender blouse and dark jeans, “you really didn’t have to--”

“You kidding, he’s gonna be surrounded by cameras. You can’t win his game if you don’t play it. I’ve dealt with his type before, they’re the ones who need lawyers on standby,” he sneered, “did you eat?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you swiped up the bag and headed for the hallway, “it was good.”

“No problem,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and shut off the tv, “and ignore all that nonsense.”

You got dressed and emerged as your anxiety grew to impatience. You left the apartment in brittle silence and the car ride fed the uneasy bubbling of your stomach. .

As you came up to Steve’s building, you sat for a moment before you got out. Sasha followed and shoulder away the cameras as you neared the front door

The elevator moved slowly and fidgeted uncontrollably as it dinged on Steve’s floor. You swallowed and braced yourself to face Steve. Sasha kept a few feet back as you walked down the hall and stopped at the door. You knocked as you found it locked.

It was a while before it opened but when it did, you were startled as Steve grabbed the front of your blouse and wrenched you inside. He spun you but quickly released you as he was knocked off balance and sent sprawling over the floor. Sasha stood above him with his hands in fists.

“Hey,” he pointed at Steve then looked at you, “you okay?”

You nodded as Steve glared between the two of you and cautiously got to his feet, “so you brought your little boyfriend?”

“She’s here to get her stuff. We thought we’d avoid a police escort, as her lawyer I thought it prudent, but we can always make that phone call,” Sasha said sternly, “she is entitled to her possessions.”

“Her stuff? I paid for every single thing she has to her name. Hers? Mine.” Steve spat and reared on you again, only to be caught by Sasha as he inserted himself between you.

“You will not touch her again. Those things you bought for her were gifts. You have no legal rights to them once they are given. She will take her clothes, her phone, and any other necessities.”

“Pfft, she’s not taking anything. She’s not going anywhere,” Steve growled, “she not yours--”

“I am certain the photogs would appreciate a show,” Sasha pulled out his phone, “police? That can only be a domestic dispute.”

Steve squinted and his nose flared as he looked at you over Sasha’s shoulder, “fucking slut.” He crossed his arms and stepped aside, “get your shit, get out…” he hissed, “but I have my rights too. You will not keep me from my baby.”

“That will be settled in court,” Sasha replied coolly, “go on, get your things.”

He waved you past him as he kept you shield from Steve. He was of a height with Steve but not as broad. Even so, you felt safe behind him. You rushed down to the bedroom and quickly gathered up your toiletries and those clothes you didn’t absolutely hate. Your phone screen was shattered but you took it anyway.

As you emerged again, a bag slung on your shoulder, you slid the ring from your finger. 

“You can keep the rest,” you said as you placed the band on the small round table just inside the front room, “goodbye Steve.”

“Goodbye? Goodbye?” he spat, “this isn’t the end and you fucking know it.”

“Calm down,” Sasha warned.

“You don’t tell me what to do,” Steve shoved him, “I should fucking smash your head in--”

“I’d like you to try,” Sasha stood his ground, “really. You think the court would let a violent man be around an infant?”

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes. He backed down and shouldered by Sasha. “Get the fuck out.”

You left quickly. You had no desire to hang around. As you stepped onto the elevator, Sasha softly touched your elbow and you winced. The bag fell to your elbow and he quickly scooped it up and heaved it over his own shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” you said, “he was so angry. I--”

“I was stupid, we should’ve brought the police. Fuck the cameras,” he said, “from this point on, no contact with him whatsoever. Only through me and the court. No talking to reporters, no nothing.”

“Yeah, that won’t be hard,” you uttered as he led you out of the elevator. 

As you came outside, cameras flashed and voices called out. You collided with Sasha as he was blocked by a photographer shouting questions, “is it true you’re pregnant? Is it Steve’s?”

“My client will not be answering questions,” Sasha kept on and made a path for you, “go, she’s not answering any of your questions.”

He elbowed past more cameras and opened the car door for you. You fell inside and quickly huddled down in your seat. As he sat behind the wheel, he mumbled and pulled out into traffic. He gripped the wheel tightly and pushed himself back into the vinyl.

“That asshole,” he said, “he’s gonna want the paternity test. This isn’t gonna be pretty.”

“I can’t… he fucking told them. I mean, I’m not surprised but… god,” you grimaced.

“We’ll get the test done before he makes a formal request,” Sasha said, “it shows transparency and when we hand over those results, we’ll include those police reports too.”

“Police reports?” you blinked.

“Sorry, I… It’s a suggestion,” he said tersely, “but he’s going to make this a trial by media.”

“No, no, I want to,” you said firmly, “I want everyone to know the real Steve Rogers.”

🍭

‘I was just like many struggling in the city. I worked a low-paying job in data entry and lived in an apartment which was little more than a box. The dreams of the big city were passing me by as there was little opportunity to be found.

Then I met Steve Rogers. Like a dream or a Lifetime movie. I was in debt, I was desperate, and he offered me a safety net. I can own my part in the relationship; I was interested and I accepted his generosity. I was all too happy with the arrangement.

That was until I found out that it was all based on a lie. I didn’t know that he had access to my accounts even before I knew him, that he had used his connections to force me into that dire situation. And I could not know the real man behind the billionaire façade.

It was little things at first. Any woman loves to feel wanted but his possessiveness soon turned to control. He kept me isolated from my own family and did not permit me to do anything without his permission. His affection turned to obsession and when it was not reciprocated he forced it from me.

He took me on vacation and did not allow me to wear clothes. He chose what I wore, how I looked, and what I did. He coerced me into acts I was reluctant about, and when he was too rough, he did not listen to my pleas for him to stop.

When I tried to leave him, he followed me and dragged me back. He had me watched by PIs and surveilled all my communications. He used his financial power to control me and when that did not work, he used his physical power.

Steve Rogers abused me. He yelled in my face, he threatened my family, and he choked me.

Steve Rogers raped me. He expected me to bend to his will whenever he desired and when I refused, he held me down and did what he wanted.

Steve Rogers took my whole life and when I chose to leave, he set his eyes on the life inside of me. 

The only thing I want from him is freedom. I want to live safely with my child and I want that child to never experience the abuse of their father. I never want anyone to know that horror again which is why I have written this and released the police records. I am not asking for anything but peace for me and my unborn child.’

The statement was carefully edited by Sasha. You reread the font across the glossy pages of Vanity Fair, the article spliced with excerpts not only from the police reports, but your own emailed accounts of your relationship, and the whole thing began with an image of that broken bathroom door.

It was two months since you ran away from the altar but life was not a romcom. It was a disaster. Even with the article, you knew not all would believe you. You knew it would open you to doubt and vitriol. And you knew Steve would have a response.

You closed the magazine and groaned as you rubbed your hips. Freedom didn’t feel so… freeing. There was a long way to go; court dates, doctor’s appointment, and depositions. But it was a start.

You rested your hand on your stomach and pushed on the arm of the couch as you stood stiffly. When you were halfway up, you felt a hand on your elbow and Sasha helped you stand straight. You smiled guiltily. You’d grown a lot in the last few weeks and still had nearly four months to go.

“The reviews are good,” he said, “I know that is kinda grim but… people seem to believe you.”

“Seem to?” you echoed as you went to the kitchen and pulled out the container of sliced strawberries, “or they don’t?”

“Well,” he leaned on the counter as he watched you add too much cream to the berries and smiled, “Stark Industries has cut ties with Shield, Inc. and Tony has made a sizeable donation to several shelters across the city,” he cupped his chin coyly as he leaned on his elbow, “and will be covering legal costs for the support hearings seeing as I can’t legally represent you anymore.”

“Oh,” your mouth fell open before you could spray some cream onto your tongue, “when were you going to tell me this?”

“I’m telling you now,” he crossed his arms as he shifted them further over the island, “I thought I’d give the good news first.”

“And the bad?” you put down the can of cream as you neared the marble across from him.

“I have several requests for interviews and I think you should do at least one,” he said, “I know you hate reporters and all that but… with a little Rogers baby on board, it’s just another part of the process.”

“Oh, and what should I tell them,” you edged around the counter towards him, “that I moved? That I found someone better?” He turned to you, his lips curved as he leaned in and you turned your face up to peck his lips, “or maybe I should tell them I’m single? Keep the intrigue?”

“As long as you tell them I’m handsome, I don’t mind,” he purred as he placed his hand on your side.

“Oh, how could I leave that out?” you cooed and kissed him again, “patient, loving, kind… but what a geek?”

“A geek?” he smirked and framed your chin with his hands, “says the dungeon master.”

You giggled and ran your hands up his chest, “someone’s gotta raise this little bard well.”

“Oh, no, no, she’s not gonna be a bard. Maybe a cleric?”

“No way! That’s lame,” you chirped, “how about… a sorcerer? Ours is a bit lacking.”

“Excuse you,” he quipped, “what was your AC again? Maybe next session I’ll run out of healing spells.”

“See?” you taunted, “geek.”

You drew him to you until he was pressed to your belly and he swept you up in a kiss. You rocked with him as he turned you against the counter and slowly parted.

You squeezed his wrist as you went back around to your strawberries and cream. You took a spoon and scooped up a mouthful as you slid your phone towards you. Sasha stayed as he was, watching you scroll through the emails and piled up texts.

You stopped as one blared in all caps. There was no name, only ‘Private’. You opened the conversation and found a dozen bubbles; ‘THIS ISN’T OVER’, ‘HE CAN’T KEEP YOUR FROM ME’, ‘CUTE, YOU THINK PEOPLE BELIEVE YOUR SHIT.’ Another message blipped up, an image and you dropped your spoon as it opened.

You saw the picture of your sister and her son. You shook as you put your hand down on the counter and choked on the cream.

“What?” Sasha reached over and turned your phone to him, “Shit,” he sighed and blocked the number, “he’s just stacking the evidence against himself.”

“I--” you blinked as tears boiled behind your eyes.

“You don’t need to be afraid,” he screencapped the conversation, “this just makes the case even easier.”

“No, I will always be afraid of him,” you said as you touched your stomach, “it’s not just about me anymore.”

“And it’s not just you anymore,” he took your hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, “we’ve been through worse. If we can get through a cave full of orcs, we can defeat Steve Rogers.”

END (or is it?)

[skywalkerstyles]

Poly relationship with Bakugou, Todoroki And Deku

Imagine 16: commitment

Request: a lovely anon requested an imagine about marriage and kids for the boys and their love. Enjoy!

Warnings: fluff, fear, the boys being adorable

You were fucked. Literally.

You had taken two pregnancy tests after missing your period and the little pink lines meant only one thing.

You were pregnant. And that could very easily be a problem.

One, you had three boyfriends. So you weren’t even sure who the father was.

Two, they were coming into their own as Pro Heroes. What if they didn’t want a kid?

You decided to keep it to yourself, scheduling an appointment with your doctor. You only told your best friend Kirishima.

“I don’t think they’re gonna react the way you think they will. Honestly they can’t get enough of you.” You shake your head as you sit on the examination table.

“Kiri. They aren’t ready. This is a lot.” You clench your fists, tears coming to your eyes. “What if they don’t love me anymore.” Kirishima does the only thing he can think of. And since Bakugou isn’t there to bite his head off about it, he pulls you into a tight hug, rubbing your back as you cry.

“I promise Y/N. You’re not alone. Even if they do leave, I never will. I’ll support you and the baby if it comes to it....but I think you should trust them more.”

They notice. God they notice everything. So it didn’t take them long to see you pulling back from them, fear of rejection making you want to break away so it didn’t hurt as bad when they found out.

You slept alone. In your room. With the door locked. That was new.

You didn’t want cuddles, anytime one of them made a move to wrap their arms around your stomach, you pushed them off.

You were eating ALOT more than usual. And weird shit. Like pickles and peanut butter. What the fuck?

And though not throwing up, you complained heavily about feeling sick.

One night as you’re lying in bed, caressing your belly there’s a knock on the door.

“Little Dove. Please. Let us in. We’re worried about you. We need to talk.” Sighing you feel the panic and fear rising in your belly. You don’t have much longer before you start to show and you could tell they were getting antsy.

They look sullen when they come in. Worry evident on their faces as the four of you sit down on your bed. Izuku, who was your boyfriend first, takes your hand in his.

“Y/N....I know.” He says softly. You furiously blink back tears. Shoto and Katsuki are looking at Izuku in surprise. This clearly wasn’t what they planned to talk about.

“You know....what?”

“I know that you’re pregnant.” You flinch when Katsuki grunts and Shoto takes a sharp breath, but Izuku just squeezes your hand tighter. “You won’t let us touch your belly. You’re sick all the time and eating us out of house and home....the second I saw you with pickles and peanut butter I knew for sure, cuz that’s such a bizarre combo. But you said it was ‘salty sweet’”

“I....I just-“

“Did you really think,” Izuku leans forward, ghosting his lips against yours, “I wouldn’t notice? I’m in tune with you baby. You move. I move. Our hearts in sync. I know you inside and out.” You burst into tears, bringing your hands to your face as you wail.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I should have been more careful! I don’t even know which of you is the father! I’m so sorry!” Your shoulders shake as you continue to gasp. “I’ll leave. I’ll pack up and go! I know this isn’t-“ a hand grabs your elbow and you fall forward into the scent of melted Carmel. Katsuki holds you close to him and you can feel him shaking.

“You’re....you’re not going anywhere.” He whispers, clutching you tighter, but being mindful of your belly. “You think I give a damn about who the ‘real’ father is? Far as I’m concerned, we all made this baby. It’s ours. We’re gonna be....we’re gonna be dads. I love you so much,” he pulls back, brushing your hair from your face and looking at you in awe. “You’re going to be so beautiful. Look at you. Already glowing. You will be such a kick ass mom baby.” He swallows your lips, kissing you fiercely.

“I-but,”

“C’mere Baby Bear.” Shoto’s soft voice beckons you. You let go of Katsuki and crawl into Shoto’s lap. He wraps your legs around his waist, kissing you with tenderness. “We originally came in here because we had a question for you....after we got to the bottom of what was worrying you.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” He kisses you again. “We love you so much. And this....this, well, I think I can speak for everyone when I say, this just makes us love you even more.”

“Absolutely.”

“Got that right IcyHot.”

“So,” he whispers, pushing your hair off your shoulder and kissing your neck. “We want you to marry us....please baby. We want to be together, with you, forever.”

Your eyes widen as your face grows red. You look around at the three men. Izuku is smiling at you, eyes glazed as if he’s never seen someone so beautiful and perfect for him. Katsuki is red, but his eyes blaze with determination and pride. And Shoto...Shoto looks confident and in love, a small, private smile on his face. Only for you.

“I...but....I can’t marry all of you!” Izuku chuckles, leaning against Shoto.

“No, not legally. But, we can have a commitment ceremony. It can be just like a real wedding, without the certificate. We can exchange vows, rings, and then...then we’ll be husbands, and you’ll be our little wife.” Katsuki grunts, nipping your shoulder.

“Yeah, I definitely like the sound of that...little wife.” He whispers seductively in your ear. You shiver, a smile on your face and tears in your eyes.

“After....after the baby is here please. We can plan it and then....when the baby is here....she can be a part of it.”

“She?” Katsuki says. “You know already?” The boys all out a hand on your belly. You giggle, placing yours over theirs.

“Not yet. It’s just a gut feeling.”

[pooopopop]

An Incredibly Important Topic Being Obscured by the Standom Phenomenon, And the Damaging Repercussions of the Self Help Industry. 

I originally started posting to this fandom out of spite and in defense of a friend I talk to privately, whose incredibly smart and thoughtful but has an anxiety in them born out of OCD and Clinical Depression, which keeps them from posting publicly themselves. In conjunction with that, this friend is disabled due to EDS and Chronic migraine, but in spite of (or maybe because of,) this friend is educated in Sociology and Religion. Over this weekend we watched a conversation go over in the fandom that frightened them and I feel inclined to address it, though even if I share their frustration I’m not as educated on this subject so I will be relaying their points as best as I can. Here is the discourse as portrayed by the loudest and most passionate users in the fandom:

Firstly, let’s get two things out of the way. A single person flushing a single bottle of pills is a non-issue, it’s ridiculous to say that it is a major contributor to the environment. Second, it’s outright evil and counterproductive to shame a person for addiction and substance abuse, not that Misha is even guilty of that. Now,

What Misha did was irresponsible and ill-advised, that is stopping your prescription cold turkey AND telling your audience, an audience admires you far too much for their own good, about how you did it as if it was a triumph. Being on an opioid (Hydrocodone or Oxycodone) for two weeks after a major invasive surgery like a hip replacement is not an addiction. It also isn’t withdrawal that caused black spots and suicidal thoughts. Withdrawal is not something that only lasts two days. I am not accusing Misha of lying, what we believe he is is a victim of scare tactics and the rhetoric of his surroundings, the withdrawal symptoms he felt were in all actuality most likely caused by rejecting the use of medication as prescribed by a doctor and suffering the physical pain of deciding to “grit and bare it” while you’re in recovery and the emotional pain experienced by telling yourself you are a failure for wanting the pain to stop bad enough to indulge in taking a pill. That being said, if you should fear that you are beginning to struggle with addiction, you should 100% CALL YOUR DOCTOR. Crisis calls and Crisis appointments are a real thing and you should never fear reaching out for help. Addiction is not illegal, being in possession of prescribed medication is not illegal, of course you will NOT BE ARRESTED FOR IT. What IS something we advise you to be cautious about it telling your doctor, nurse, or EMT that you are experiencing suicidal thoughts. Though it shouldn’t be this way, you could likely be put in a less than ideal situation, so you are better off never going cold turkey on any medication so that you can best avoid getting to that point. NEXT, It’s important to note that Misha never said he has a disability. What @THEEwinchesters is implying here is that Misha has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which is pure speculation on his part. You should not diagnose people you do not know, celebrities the least of which. My friend is forgiving and would like to say that he probably doesn’t want anybody to ask him to elaborate because it would put him in a triggering position where he will have to defend and prove the diagnosis which is a struggle you already have to go through with a doctor in your own journey to get yourself officially diagnosed, but I don’t think that’s an excuse- if anything I think he should know that’s why you DON’T simply decide things for yourself in regards to strangers. You can’t base a diagnosis on being able to relate to somebody you like, and vice versa. But on the other side, Addiction is an illness. Depression is an illness. Both of which, now, Misha has opened up about dealing with. He seems to us like the type of person who rejects the idea of being ashamed of sickness and disability (in theory, more on that later); in fact, he’d likely claim EDS if he had it, and wear it proudly as an act of raising awareness and get Gish or Stands involved in it somehow. Since the OP tells you not to ask, we have to assume he is basing his diagnosis on is the fact that Misha is very flexible, a symptom of EDS. However, you see, Misha’s brother is a fitness trainer and yoga teacher. Which is a helpful Segway to the main topic that my friend had so much to say about…

IN the episode where Misha plays Castiel as a hippie, he is characterized as a spiritual leader and Sex Therapist(?), or at the very least pretending to be while he is indulging in his humanity. The portrayal seems to be based on Misha himself and his brother, even has a little shrine to Buddha making a cameo.

BUT- while it’s weird and not Cas, the biggest vice he indulges in that is explicitly condemned by the meta is… prescriptions. He pops some pills and Dean takes a look at them, and they are prescription amphetamines, which are prescribed to treat ADD. Vyvanse and Adderall. This being a vice is explicit, and its no coincidence that Misha also considers taking painkillers after a surgery to be something he had to overcome. He’s opened up about self medicating, dropping acid, smoking weed, Vicki’s book calls ecstasy a tried-and-true drug for threesomes (to use with caution, after condescendingly referring to XR drugs as “designer”), and partakes in glamorizing our rampant drinking culture enthusiastically. What Misha is victim to, and what everybody surrounding him is victim to as well, is the Self Help industry. It’s a vile thing that capitalizes on the shame of physical and mental illness, poverty, and in doing that it villainizes our most vulnerable people telling them that it only takes hard work and discipline to feel good. It teaches you that wanting medication is taking the easy way out, and that suffering from ailments or circumstances is a moral failure.

You catch this? Of course, it IS a Buddhist proverb, but there’s a reason that using this proverb is something they have in common and it isn’t because Jared co-op’d it. He is an obvious victim of the Self-Help Industry too, take a look at who he follows on Instagram.

The Self Help industry deeply intertwines itself with religion, as yet another powerful motivator to shame it’s clientele. It’s almost a religion in itself, with it’s heavy promotion of following philosophies, spot lighting failures, moralizing personal wellness, and predatory tactics that are designed to appeal to you when you are at rock bottom. They incorporate Buddhism, Christianity, and secularism all wrapped up in this New-Age pseudo-spirituality centering a philosophy of personal empowerment. There’s an abundance of Prosperity Gospel Preachers, who have been under scrutiny for decades, exposed again and again as hypocrites and heretics, who are practically entirely responsible for creating the fundamental strategies for MLM schemes, and the ever enduring holistic/alternative medicine business. However, what goes less scrutinized are the abusive self-help speakers and communities that disguise themselves behind New-Age flower-y garble, “witchy”/occult aesthetics, and the current most prevalent (and imo most offensive) offenders, Orientalists. The overlap is inescapable for White, American Buddhists. Though OprahWinfrey identifies as a Christian, while she was the countries biggest pop culture icon she caused a tidal wave that flooded the country cooking American Christianity, New-Age paganism, and fortune cookie Buddhism in a fat pot of gruel She sold as “Umami��. White Buddhism went the way of prosperity gospel, white-washing the concepts of Karma and Dharma by ignoring their cultural roots (they are spiritual concepts born and bound to a caste system being in place), to turn them into profitable currency, and leverage for the argument that you are deserving of the suffering you experience, and traditional medication is not only lazy but it robs you of the opportunity to become a greater person by overcoming your suffering on your own merit. This is why Misha considered it a triumph throw out his RX and misidentified lingering recovery pains and bad frame of mind to withdrawal, because he considers pain medication to be an indulgence that he has to atone for. It’s why there’s no shame or significant repercussions you can blame on self-medicating/experimenting with illicit drugs + psychedelics. In contrast, the latter is a task he took upon himself and learn from, which makes it “kosher” so to speak. New Agers and Secularists were appealed by the same belief system when it was packaged and resold to the general public as Energy Exchange and the Law of Attraction when it was introduced to them by Oprah and her large scale promotion of the book, The Secret.

Joe Rogan laughs at it, but he went and reinvented the wheel, with what he’s coined as “The Winner and The Loser Mentality” and preaches to his audience. The pages Jared follows, ways2well, market their brand on Joe’s philosophy a ton, reposting clips from his podcast with a proud co-sign. On a post featuring Jared, they promoted another kind of anti-pharmaceutical pseudoscience movement, “Functional Medicine”.

Read about why that’s snake oil, here. The Self-Help industry exploits people and causes real, quantifiable harm. Oprah’s promotion of The Secret resulted in the death of a devout member of her viewership when she decided to stop treating her cancer with traditional medicine, because she had been sold on the idea that she had it within her to overcome it herself. I suppose, ultimately, she must have simply had a loser mentality. We recognize Misha and Jared as susceptible to their environment as anybody else can be, and we do truly sympathize with them, Jared in particular seems live in, what we will call… less compassionate surroundings, and suffers more for it if his public outbursts and on record emotional breakdowns are anything to speak of. (or… at least my friend does. Me, less so. Lmao) But it would be an absolute tragedy if any of you ended up hating yourself for needing medication to get through life, if any of you thought that having treatment resistant depression means something about you as a person. Medication is not a treat, it is not an indulgence, you aren’t at fault for your own pain and misery. You aren’t being punished. You aren’t any less valuable. You deserve to feel ok. You deserve help. Pills are not short cuts. Medication is not cheating. Please do not hold any of these men up so high that you think you need to trust their judgement and subscribe to their beliefs. You really do deserve better.