#I think I should probably try and nap today

[hellsbellssinclub]

I’m on nightshift for the next couple of weeks and my nightshift brain gets overwhelmed sometimes and creates absolute banger fic ideas that I now must implement into my fics.

Problem with that is my sleep deprived day dreams are all angst related and now I am going to be crying while writing and now I have to actually write out some of this idea rather than just vibing out 10k words >.>

Good news is today is my day off so I can do that. Bad news is I’m back at work tomorrow and day after. Other good news is I will have six days off to smash out homework and more fic and go to the gym.

In other other news, I am 5.5k into a new chapter of my newest fic with no stopping me now! I am on a roll! Going down hill at top speed!

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

okay, good news: i only have a few pages left to edit, so you guys are probably getting something new in the sugar and spice au today! that poll i made to see what you wanted to see happen next? yeah, the result of that is probably dropping in a few hours <3

[somelazyassartist]

Sometimes you just don't sleep for 3 days because you're too busy weeping over the fact that a 111 year old mail ship at the bottom of the Atlantic will probably completely erode within your lifetime. for fun

[no-one-hears-me]

I feel terrible today

[latanyalove]

Sick Day

Summary: You're sick but you don't want to disturb your busy captain and the crew.

Song: Coming Down by The Weeknd

Author’s note: Please like, reblog and share this! 🫶

The salt spray stung your face as you clung to the railing of the submarine, Polar Tang. The familiar rocking of the vessel usually soothed you, but today, it churned your stomach with a vengeance. Each swell sent a wave of nausea crashing over you, and the lump in your throat threatened to betray the secret you’d been desperately trying to keep.

“Another beautiful day at sea, eh, Y/N?” Shachi called out, his ever-present grin plastered on his face. He approached, a length of rope slung over his shoulder, and threw an arm around your shoulders.

His touch, normally comforting, felt like a brand on your feverish skin.

“Gorgeous,” you managed, forcing a smile and leaning away slightly. “Just taking in the fresh air.”

Shachi, bless his oblivious heart, seemed to buy it. “That’s the spirit! Captain’s in the library, buried in some ancient medical text again. Probably trying to find a cure for boredom.” He chuckled. “Don’t think he’s slept in days. You should see the bags under his eyes.”

Your heart clenched. That was precisely the reason you were out here, battling the waves and the growing weakness in your limbs. Trafalgar Law, your…everything, was already overworked.

He dedicated his life to the well-being of his crew, pushing himself relentlessly. The last thing he needed was you adding to his burden with a simple cold.

“Maybe I will,” you said, your voice a little too high-pitched. “Catch up on some reading myself.” You detached yourself from Shachi’s grip and hurried below deck, hoping he didn’t notice the tremor in your hands.

The air inside the submarine was thick and humid, doing little to alleviate the chill that had settled deep in your bones. You bypassed the library – Law’s sanctuary – and stumbled toward your shared cabin.

Collapsing onto the bunk, you pulled the threadbare blanket over yourself, trying to ignore the throbbing in your head and the scratchiness in your throat.

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

Bepo’s anxious voice cut through the fog in your brain. You peeked out from under the blanket to see the massive polar bear crouched in the doorway, his brow furrowed with concern.

“Fine, Bepo, fine,” you mumbled, pulling the blanket higher. “Just a little tired.”

Bepo wasn’t stupid. He knew you better than anyone, barring Law himself. He padded closer, his large paws silent on the metal floor.

“Your face is flushed,” he said, his voice laced with worry. “And you’re shivering. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Just a little seasick,” you insisted, turning your face to the wall. “It’ll pass.”

Bepo hesitated, his ears twitching. “Maybe…maybe I should tell Captain.”

Panic flared in your chest. “No! Bepo, please don’t. He’s so busy. It’s nothing, I promise. Just let me rest.”

You knew you were being unreasonable, but desperation lent your voice a sharp edge. Bepo, always sensitive to your feelings, retreated slightly.

“Okay, Y/N,” he said softly. “But…but if you need anything, anything, you promise you’ll tell me?”

“I promise,” you whispered, closing your eyes.

Days blurred into a miserable cycle of stolen naps, forced smiles, and growing weakness. You avoided Law as much as possible, knowing he’d see through your charade in an instant.

You choked down your meals, forcing yourself to socialize with the crew, all the while battling a fever that threatened to consume you.

The hardest part was keeping your distance from Law. You craved his touch, his presence, his unwavering gaze. He was your anchor, your safe harbor in a turbulent world.

But you couldn't risk him seeing you like this, a pathetic, sniffling mess. You’d rather suffer in silence than burden him with your trivial illness.

One evening, as you were attempting to sneak a cup of herbal tea – Penguin’s well-intentioned remedy, despite your protests – Law’s voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Y/N.”

You froze, your back to him. The sound of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, a different kind of shiver than the one that racked your body with fever.

“Captain,” you said, turning around slowly. You tried to appear nonchalant, leaning against the counter as if you weren’t desperately trying to keep from collapsing.

He stood in the doorway to the galley, his dark eyes narrowed, his expression unreadable. He was even more tired than Shachi had described, the lines around his mouth etched deeper, the shadows under his eyes more pronounced.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he stated, his voice flat.

You forced a laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous, Captain. I’ve just been…busy.”

He raised an eyebrow, a silent challenge. “Busy doing what, exactly? Trying to master the art of disappearing?”

You swallowed, your throat burning. “I…I just wanted to give you space. You’ve been working so hard.”

He stepped closer, his gaze unwavering. “And you think hiding from me is helping?” He reached out, his fingers brushing against your forehead. You flinched, but he didn’t pull away.

“You’re burning up,” he said, his voice laced with concern. “How long have you been sick?”

The fight drained out of you. There was no point in denying it any longer. He knew. He always knew.

“A few days,” you mumbled, looking down at your feet.

His grip on your forehead tightened slightly. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”

You looked up at him, your eyes pleading. “I didn’t want to bother you. You have so much to worry about.”

He sighed, a sound of weary exasperation. “Y/N…" He took your hand in his, his thumb stroking the back of your palm. "You are never a bother. Ever. Do you understand?”

Tears welled up in your eyes. “But…”

“No buts,” he interrupted, his voice firm but gentle. “Come with me.”

He led you back to your cabin, carefully helping you onto the bunk. He didn’t say anything as he peeled off your clammy clothes and wrapped you in a fresh blanket. He worked with a practiced efficiency, his movements precise and gentle.

He summoned Bepo, who scurried off to fetch a basin of cool water and some clean cloths. Law sat beside you, dipping the cloth in the water and gently dabbing your forehead.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked again, his voice softer this time.

Your voice was hoarse. “I was scared.”

He looked at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and something else, something that made your heart flutter despite the throbbing in your head.

“Scared of what?”

“That you’d be angry,” you whispered. “That I’d be a burden.”

He shook his head, his dark hair falling across his forehead. “You could never be a burden, Y/N. And I could never be angry at you for being sick.”

He continued to bathe your forehead in silence, his touch soothing and comforting. You closed your eyes, letting the cool water and his presence wash over you.

“From now on,” he said softly, after a long silence, “no more secrets. Not from me. Understand?”

You opened your eyes and looked at him, your heart overflowing with love and gratitude.

“I understand,” you whispered.

The next few days were a blur of fever dreams and Law’s unwavering care. He made you herbal teas, insisted on you resting, and even managed to coax a few bites of bland food past your protesting stomach.

The crew tiptoed around the cabin, whispering their well wishes and leaving small gifts – a rare orange, a hand-knitted scarf, a crudely drawn get-well card from Bepo.

Slowly, the fever began to break. The throbbing in your head subsided, and the nausea faded. You started to feel like yourself again, a little weak perhaps, but alive.

One evening, as you sat propped up in bed, reading a worn paperback, Law entered the cabin. He carried a tray with a steaming mug and a plate of crackers.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"Much better, thank you," you replied, offering a tentative smile. "I'm almost back to normal."

He placed the tray on the small table beside your bed. "Good. I was starting to miss your sharp wit and irritating questions."

You chuckled, a genuine sound this time. "Irritating questions? You're just jealous of my superior intellect."

He smirked, a rare and precious sight. "Of course. That must be it." He leaned back against the wall, watching you as you sipped your tea. The silence that followed was comfortable, a familiar rhythm between you.

"Law," you began hesitantly, "I wanted to thank you. For everything."

He raised an eyebrow. "There's no need. I just did what anyone would have done."

You shook your head. "No, you went above and beyond. You could have left it to the others, but you didn't. You took care of me. And I... I really appreciate it."

He pushed himself off the wall and took a step closer. "Y/N," he said, his voice low and serious, "you're important to me."

Your heart leaped in your chest. "I –"

He cut you off, continuing before you could overthink and ruin the moment. "You're smart, resourceful, and you have this infuriating way of always knowing exactly what to say to piss me off, but also... to make me laugh. You bring a unique perspective to the crew. You challenge me."

He paused, his eyes searching yours. "And," he swallowed hard, "you're… kind of… essential to me."

You stared at him, speechless. Essential? Was he… could he possibly…

He seemed to realize what he had said, the implications of his words hitting him like a tidal wave. His cheeks flushed a faint pink, and he looked away, running a hand through his hair.

"I… I didn’t mean to say that," he mumbled, his voice barely audible.

"You didn't?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

He looked back at you, his gaze intense. "Well, I mean… I did. But… I didn't mean to say it like that. It just sort of… came out." He was a mess, a far cry from the stoic, collected captain you knew him to be.

You couldn't help but laugh, a nervous, shaky sound. "So, you're saying you didn't intend to accidentally confess your… whatever this is, to me, while I'm still recovering from a fever?"

He groaned, burying his face in his hands. "This is a disaster."

You reached out and took his hand, your fingers intertwining with his. "Hey," you said softly, "it's okay. It's more than okay."

He looked up, his eyes filled with doubt and a glimmer of hope. "It is?"

You squeezed his hand. "Yes, Law. It is. Because… I feel the same way."

His eyes widened. "You… you do?"

You nodded, your heart soaring. "I do. I have for a long time."

A slow smile spread across his face, transforming his features. It was the most genuine, unguarded smile you had ever seen. He leaned down, his breath warm against your ear.

"Then maybe," he whispered, "this accidental confession wasn't such a disaster after all."

He leaned in closer, and you closed your eyes, anticipation flooding your senses. His lips brushed against yours, a tentative, feather-light touch. It was a promise, a beginning.

The door to the cabin slid open with a bang, and Penguin's head popped in. "Captain! We've spotted–" He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening in surprise as he took in the scene. "Oh. Sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

Law pulled away, his cheeks flushing again. "Yes, Penguin. You are."

Penguin backed out of the cabin, his eyes wide with a mixture of shock and amusement. "Right. Carry on, then. I'll just… tell the others to steer clear." He disappeared, leaving you and Law alone once more.

You both burst out laughing, the tension finally dissipating. The world outside your tiny cabin seemed to fade away, leaving only you and Law, the quiet hum of the Polar Tang, and the undeniable spark of something new, something real, igniting between you.

The fever might have been a curse, but it had inadvertently led to a cure for a different kind of ailment, one you had both been suffering from in silence for far too long.

And maybe, just maybe, accidental confessions were the best kind. . . .

[megalony]

Accidental Damage

As promised, here is a new Eddie Diaz imagine which I think has turned out rather well.

Please let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22 @mrsyixingunicorn10 @op-81-lvr-reblogs

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: Shannon turns up out of the blue, wanting to see Chris, but he doesn't want to see her. He thinks of (Y/n) as his mum now. (Y/n) tries to calm the situation, but things end up getting out of hand and an incident occurs.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A groan tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she leaned forward until her arms were folded across the kitchen counter. Her forehead pressed into her arms and her lower back arched out to try and relieve the tension in her system.

It felt like her head was being smashed with a hammer and although leaning over like this was helping her head, it made her stomach feel heavy and weigh towards the floor.

Her eyes remained closed which seemed to help with her headache and she slid one arm off the counter to run along the side of her stomach. The baby was lively today. That was probably why she had a headache. The baby had been active enough last night that (Y/n) couldn't get much sleep and now she felt groggy and run down. She couldn't wait for Eddie to come home this afternoon; he always knew how to make her feel better.

The doorbell jolted (Y/n) out of her wallowing state and acted as a restart button in her system.

She pushed off the counter and slid her hand around to press into her back to click her spine into place as she straightened up. Two and a half months left of these aches and pains, and then she and Eddie would have a baby in their arms. It couldn't come soon enough.

She slowly headed out the kitchen and when she was in the hall, she heard the pop music blasting from Chris's bedroom which made her smile. He was doing some colouring and singing away to himself. He was happy and content in his room.

The doorbell chimed again and (Y/n) quietly groaned and began trudging down the hall.

It couldn't be Buck because he was supposed to be on shift the same as Eddie today, both of them should finish later this afternoon and Eddie said he would be home in time for tea. And (Y/n) knew her sister was at work at dispatch today, so it couldn't be Maddie popping round for a chat either.

She couldn't think who it would be as she shuffled towards the door on unsteady feet.

(Y/n) took a deep breath and tried to hold her chin up and straighten her shoulders as she unlocked the door. Greeting anyone while she was doubled over and looked like she had just woken up from a thousand year nap wasn't going to give the best impression, no matter who was on the other side of the threshold.

"Hello?" Her smile morphed into a look of confusion and uncertainty when she looked at the woman on the doorstep.

Oh dear.

Shannon.

Her long brown curls were hanging over her shoulders and her fringe, as always, was cut very close to her eyes like she used her fringe as a curtain to hide away from the world. But there was something scrutinising behind her eyes that made (Y/n) shiver and feel like retreating into her home for safety and sanctuary.

Shannon's smile wasn't inviting. It was a tight smile, as if smiling any wider or relaxing any further would cause her to fragment into pieces.

She had one hand around her bag on her shoulder and her other hand was nervously rubbing across her hip like she had too much energy and didn't know what to do with herself.

"What're you doing here?" (Y/n) tried to keep her tone neutral but it was extremely hard when Shannon was glaring at her like that with curled lips and an upturned nose. She looked displeased, but it was (Y/n) who should be unsettled out of the pair of them.

Shannon couldn't just turn up here whenever she felt like it. If she wanted to see Chris she had to call first and arrange a date to visit, and they didn't usually do visits at home. (Y/n) couldn't recall the last time Chris had seen Shannon, it had been months ago when she had last been in town. Unscheduled visits weren't good for Chris because seeing Shannon always unsettled him and made him upset.

"Hi to you too." Shannon's hand tightened around her bag but the way she looked (Y/n) up and down made her shiver.

(Y/n) hadn't had too many run-ins with Eddie's ex. They knew each other, of course they did, (Y/n) had been to the very few scheduled meets between Shannon and Chris. And Eddie had to tell Shannon when he got re-married because (Y/n) was all Chris had talked about at the time. But both women hardly ever saw one another these days.

"Eddie never said you were expecting." A disgruntled look flooded Shannon's face and (Y/n) could of sworn she could see jealousy pooling within her eyes.

She glanced down to her stomach and moved one arm to curve around her waist almost protectively.

Did Eddie have to tell Shannon everything that went on in his life? They hardly spoke, only when they wanted to arrange meets for Chris and that wasn't a regular occurrence in itself. But a pang did shoot through (Y/n)'s chest at the thought that Eddie didn't mention it. He didn't have to, but surely it was something that should come up in conversation.

Them having a baby changed things. It cemented things for Chris, it made them a family and a sibling was something Chris was going to talk about if he had more meetings with Shannon.

"Did he need to?" She tilted her head to one side and tried to keep her stoic expression. Eddie wasn't on good speaking terms with Shannon these days, and he didn't have to tell her anything about his life if he didn't want to.

(Y/n) found herself stepping closer to the threshold so she could pull the door with her, standing in the small space between the frame and the door. She didn't want Chris hearing or knowing who was at the door because seeing Shannon only upset him.

He hadn't understood in the beginning when Shannon left, he had been frightened and confused, but he didn't hold it against her. When she came back into his life after three years, he was delighted. But it didn't last very long. Chris didn't see her often, Shannon wasn't ready to commit to him fully and that broke Chris.

When Eddie married (Y/n), Chris felt like he had another mum, someone who loved him and who he could rely on. He felt that stability being threatened whenever Shannon came around.

How would Chris take this if he found his mother on the doorstep? He would get worried about being abandoned again or worry that Shannon would try and take him from this home. This family where he was happier than ever. And if Shannon left again, (Y/n) and Eddie would have to deal with the aftermath. They couldn't let him get hurt again.

She could see the anger that swirled in Shannon's eyes and the resentment that was plastered across her face when her upper lip curled and she was at the point of baring her teeth.

"I think it's rather important, don't you?"

"Maybe if you were more involved, he would have told you." (Y/n) couldn't help her quipped response.

Shannon and Eddie were divorced, they were legally cut from one another, no more ties connecting them to reopen the wounds that had taken years to heal. Did Shannon believe Eddie would never get into another serious relationship with someone else?

It wasn't as if he had left Shannon a few months ago and had quickly moved onto (Y/n). It had been four years since they split up, not four months.

"Why're you here?"

"I want to see my son."

Shannon pursed her lips and squared her shoulders like she was preparing herself for an interview. She tried to lean around (Y/n) and look into the house, but she couldn't see very much with the way (Y/n) had angled the door.

"Not today." (Y/n) shook her head and clung to the door a bit tighter. Why couldn't Shannon have turned up yesterday when Eddie had been home? Why did she have to come here now, when (Y/n) was on her own and more importantly, when Chris was home? This wasn't fair.

"You don't get to make the rules here-"

"And you don't get to turn up when it suits you, and mess with Chris's head and then flaunt off for God knows how long again. I know Eddie's talked to you about this. Call him if you want to see Chris and we can arrange something, but you can't do this."

It wasn't fair on Chris. They had it in writing. When Eddie and Shannon got divorced, it was part of the agreement that Chris would stay with Eddie and Shannon was able to visit. But she had to pre-arrange those visits and if Chris said no, he couldn't be forced to see her. But Chris often felt guilty and he didn't feel able to say no.

Shannon couldn't turn up and decide when and where she wanted to see Chris, that wasn't good for him. He liked routines and structure and turning up unannounced like this was only going to unsettle him.

"Mum, can we do some more painting?"

(Y/n) tilted her head down and stared at her feet as she leaned on the door frame.

She had been worried about this.

When Chris asked her if she would adopt him, (Y/n) had cried. It had been such a good moment, one she would never forget and she couldn't quite wrap her head around it when Chris started calling her mum. It was delightful, but (Y/n) feared the day it would happen when Shannon was within earshot.

She knew it couldn't be nice to hear her son calling someone else his mother, but then again, this whole situation was Shannon's doing. She wasn't the victim here.

A dangerous look crossed Shannon's face. It was as if all the anger was physically bubbling up inside of her and her skin started to turn a dark shade of rouge while her hands balled up into fists at her sides.

She wasn't stupid. She knew Chris didn't know she was here on the doorstep and if he did, that wouldn't be the first thing he called out to her. He was asking for (Y/n). He was calling (Y/n) his mum. It was as if reality came crashing down onto Shannon and showed her just how much time had passed since she last saw her son. Time was telling her that there was always a deadline and she had far missed it by a few years.

(Y/n) had stepped into the role Shannon had left behind. She had become Chris's mother and he was thrilled to have her in his life.

"You are not his mother. I am." The way she sneered the words made (Y/n)'s breathing quicken and she swallowed hard, willing herself not to throw up.

She wished Eddie was home.

Her hand stayed on her stomach and began to rub soothing circles when the baby started to kick up a fuss, but it didn't feel the same as when Eddie was here. His touch was a natural remedy for (Y/n), the baby livened up when Eddie was around and settled at the sound of his voice.

"What kind of mother disappears for four years at a time? I'm here with him every day-"

"I had to leave, you wouldn't understand, but I thought of him every single day."

The tears in her eyes almost made (Y/n) feel bad. Almost. But she couldn't agree with her. Leaving for a few weeks, a few months at a push, was understandable. But all this time was simply incomprehensible. No calls. No letters or visits or zoom calls. She cut all ties with Chris like he was nothing but a distant relative to her and (Y/n) couldn't understand that and if it was her place, she wouldn't forgive that either.

"While you thought of him, I took care of him. He wants to call me his mum and Eddie's fine with that. It's his choice."

(Y/n) loved Chris, but she wouldn't say that to Shannon. She wouldn't dig the knife in any harder when it wasn't necessary. She would try and be civil because she wasn't in any mood or any state to be stood here arguing when this was her own home and Shannon shouldn't be here.

"Mum!" Chris's high-pitched whine broke through the corridor and (Y/n) cringed when she heard his footsteps approaching and the sound of him patting his hands on the walls. Something he often did when he was walking without his crutches, his way of making sure he didn't go too fast and trip up.

"Just a minute-" She closed her eyes and sighed when he barrelled over to her.

He was a social butterfly. Chris loved going out places and having people come over and he loved to see who was at the door and invite people in.

He hurried over to (Y/n) and looped his arms around her waist with his head on her shoulder. But when he leaned forward and nudged the door so he could see who was on the doorstep, all the colour seemed to fade from his skin. His smile disappeared and the light burned out of his eyes when he saw Shannon stood on the doorstep.

Panic welled up in Chris's chest and he clutched at (Y/n) tighter until she winced and felt like he was going to squeeze her until she burst.

Her arm looped around his shoulders and she ran her hand up and down his back to try and keep him calm and reassure him that everything was okay, but he looked worried. The way he pressed into her side and tucked his cheek into her chest told (Y/n) he wasn't happy. He tended to cling to her a lot more when he was unsettled or worried about something, and right now, he was scared.

He actually winced when Shannon smiled and tried to lean closer to him and he saw how her face fell when he pushed into (Y/n) and twisted away from Shannon like he thought her touch was infectious.

"Why you here?" His words were slightly muffled against (Y/n)'s chest and he actually flinched when Shannon tried to squeeze his arm.

He hated the way her expression dropped and he could see tears in her eyes because Chris hated upsetting her. Before she left, they had been close. She had been his mum and she meant the world to Chris, but that had all changed.

(Y/n) was his mum now.

She was the one who cooked with him, who picked him up from school and helped him with his homework. She tucked him in bed at night and read books with him. (Y/n) held him when he was panicking or having a meltdown and she laid with him when he was sick. She took him out on trips and was with him every day without fail.

She was the woman his dad loved, she was the one who lived with them and who was always making his dad smile. She had become his mum and now he was having a baby sister. This was his family, Chris didn't want Shannon disrupting what they had.

"She just came to talk for a minute, that's all." (Y/n) lifted her hand from Chris's shoulder so she could card her fingers through his curls.

She didn't want him to get upset or start panicking. He didn't have to sit and talk to Shannon today if he didn't want to and no one was going to make him go out for contact with her if he wanted to stay home.

(Y/n) darted her eyes from Chris back to Shannon and she tried not to flinch at the look she was being given by the other woman. Shannon had her nose curled and her arms were deadlocked around her chest, but (Y/n) could see her fingers tapping on her arms and one foot was tapping irrationally against the floor. She was clearly distraught about this news and didn't know what to do with herself.

"What gives you the right to be his mother?" Her voice was quiet but the malice laced in her tone made (Y/n)'s stomach drop and she knew Chris heard because he flinched and tucked further into (Y/n)'s side.

"I adopted him."

(Y/n) sucked in a deep breath when she felt Chris's arms pinch into her waist and he bound himself tighter into her side until he was pressing uncomfortably on the baby. She tried not to lean into Chris too much but she couldn't help but fidget when the baby started to wriggle and Chris was squeezing all the air out of her lungs.

The way he looked up at her made (Y/n) want to cry. She could see the fright hidden within his eyes, and she knew exactly what he was afraid of.

When (Y/n) and Eddie got married, Chris had sat down with them one afternoon and timidly asked if (Y/n) would adopt him. It had been his idea and both (Y/n) and Eddie had been in shock and tears at his request. They both agreed immediately because it was a lovely thing for Chris to ask and it was the responsible thing for them to do.

That way, if Eddie ever got hurt on shift again like when he got shot, or something happened, he didn't have to worry about who would look after Chris. He wouldn't panic about a fight happening between his parents and (Y/n) because Eddie knew Chris would want to stay with (Y/n) if anything happened to him, but his parents might want to take Chris. This way, it was all legal and set in stone.

And it felt more safe and secure for Chris and meant he could call (Y/n) his mum for real because she technically was now.

But Chris had been worried. He was frightened that because he asked for (Y/n) to adopt him, then he might upset Shannon. He was scared she would think he was replacing he. He used to be so close to Shannon before she left and Chris never liked to upset her and he knew this would hurt her. He only calmed down when Eddie promised him that he had nothing to be ashamed of and everything was okay.

"What?" Shannon spoke as if this was some kind of atrocity and her expression was as livid as anyone (Y/n) had ever seen.

Her eyes darted between (Y/n) and Chris, but it was (Y/n) she was glaring holes into and (Y/n) feared if she weren't pregnant, the elder woman might have slapped her.

"But he's my son!"

"I married Eddie and his job is risky. I asked if I could adopt Chris so if anything happens to Eddie or the school can't get hold of him, I have a right to care for Chris. It was a precaution."

It meant Chris would never have to go and stay with Shannon or Eddie's parents if he didn't want to. He could stay with the person who had been raising him since she met Eddie. The woman who had taken him on as her own child. It meant he could stay with (Y/n).

The way Chris relaxed against (Y/n) made her feel a little better, especially when he stopped squeezing her. But the way he relaxed his arms made (Y/n)'s waist throb; he had been cutting off her circulation without realising. She could sense the panic dwindling down within him and it made her relieved.

She had made sure Shannon wouldn't find out Chris had asked for the adoption. She wouldn't let Chris panic or give Shannon any reason to be upset with him. (Y/n) was perfectly fine with Shannon hating her.

"Go inside baby, I won't be long." Turning to the side, (Y/n) kissed the top of Chris's curls and gently ushered him to go back inside.

Her eyes followed him as he headed towards the living room but he was constantly looking back over his shoulder to make sure both of them were okay and a fight wasn't going to break out. Chris didn't like this. He wanted (Y/n) to come back inside with him too and for Shannon to leave.

(Y/n) prayed that he was out of earshot, but she knew he hadn't turned the tv on so she figured he would be trying to eavesdrop. He was nervous and he wanted to make sure they weren't arguing about him and find out what was happening. Chris was going to try and listen in if he could.

She turned back to look at Shannon and her hand tightened around the door. "You need to go."

"You've taken my family. Chris is our son, I gave birth to him-" The way Shannon's hand splayed out at her side and she stomped her foot on the porch made (Y/n) shudder.

"And I'm the one who stayed. You have a problem with that, go call Eddie."

She wasn't doing this anymore. She wasn't standing around arguing with her husband's ex. If Shannon wanted to talk, she could go and phone Eddie and arrange to meet with him or try and meet with Chris. She couldn't turn up and start a fight like this and expect (Y/n) to back down and go along with it.

With a deep breath, she stepped back and tried to shut the door but it didn't work so well when Shannon stuck her foot in the way and tried to push her way inside.

This argument wasn't over and Shannon wasn't leaving now she had heard this bombshell. She wanted to talk about this and she wanted to talk to Chris.

"Get out or I'm calling Eddie." Panic struck a chord in (Y/n)'s chest and she shivered as she tried to shove the door again to get Shannon to move.

She was going to have to phone Eddie.

He was at work, he could be out on a call in the middle of a hectic situation and (Y/n) promised herself never to call him at work unless it was an emergency. Or she was calling in the evening so he could say goodnight to Chris.

Did this count as an emergency?

Shannon was trying to get into their home, she was going to cause an argument and she was going to upset Chris. Maybe getting Eddie on the phone or at least pretending to call him might make Shannon relent and leave. She must know this wasn't going to do Chris any good, it wasn't fair to him.

"Call him." The way Shannon leaned closer and sneered down at (Y/n) made her stumble back a step which in turn allowed Shannon to push inside. "How would you like it if I took your baby?"

Her hand swatted out near (Y/n)'s stomach and for the first time, she thought she saw tears welling up in Shannon's eyes. But she couldn't be sure if they were tears of agony, anguish or frustration at being left behind.

"Shannon stop- please-" (Y/n) looked over her shoulder towards the living room but she couldn't see Chris.

She was going to upset him.

(Y/n) couldn't be sure what words tumbled past Shannon's lips in a fury, but she knew she heard '… isn't fair' and 'not yours' and those last words cut to her heart. She may not have given birth to Chris, but she had certainly bonded with him and took him on as her own. She was as good a mother as anyone else and it wasn't her fault that Shannon had stepped aside long enough for (Y/n) to take her place. Wasn't it better for Chris to have someone he saw as a mum than nobody at all?

Trying again to shut the door, (Y/n) nudged Shannon back and planted her feet on the spot so Shannon couldn't push past her. This was her home and she wasn't having anyone barge their way inside like this.

But the way Shannon shoved the door with so much frustration and callousness made the door swing back at (Y/n). Coupled with the way Shannon pushed into her, (Y/n) stumbled back.

Her eyes snapped closed and her arms coiled into her chest but it didn't prevent the shriek from leaving her lips when her feet slid from beneath her and her back collided with the cabinet. Shockwaves rattled through her system and she felt her limbs shaking and jerking when her lower back rammed into the edge of the cabinet before she landed on the floor on her bum with a thud.

"Shit!" Her hand slammed out into the cabinet in frustration and she tilted her head back until she was leaning against the wall.

Both her legs trembled against the floor and one hand pressed into the floor to steady herself while the other moved to cradle her bump. It had been her back that hit the cabinet, her back that was now pulsing in agony from the shock. But she could feel the baby wriggling and kicking as if she had suddenly woken them up from a nap.

She hadn't fell on her stomach or knocked her bump at all and she wasn't crippled in horrible agony, it was just her lower back that was going to be bruised come tomorrow.

"Mum?!" The terror in Chris's voice made (Y/n) cringe and she opened her bleary eyes to see him hurrying her way.

His knees made a horrid sound when he crashed to the floor beside her and his hands were instantly grabbing at her arms, trying to comfort her and check whether she was okay. The way Chris's features steadily started to redden and tense made (Y/n) wince; her boy looked furious.

"It's okay- I'm okay." She couldn't hide the wince that flashed across her face when she sat up and she moved her hand to rub at her back near her hips. But when she felt Shannon's hands reaching out for her arms to try and help her up, she roughly flung her arm out.

"Don't touch me." She spat roughly and grabbed the cabinet to try and use it as leverage to get herself up.

She could feel Chris's hands on her back and arm, trying to help her up and once she was on her feet, he attached himself to her like a leech. His face merged into her chest and he tried to let her lean on him just in case she didn't feel well or she might collapse. But when he turned to look at Shannon, anger burned within his chocolate eyes.

"Go away!" His voice was high and rough and he tugged (Y/n) back with him to add distance between them and Shannon.

For the first time, Shannon looked at a loss for words and what to do and she seemed to dither on the spot. She wanted to protest, it was clear in her expression that she wanted to try and explain and patch up this situation because she didn't want Chris to be upset with her. But the damage was already done and there wasn't anything Shannon could do.

"Just leave."

The moment she slammed the door behind her, (Y/n) turned and kissed Chris's temple. She curled her arms around him and they stood there for a little while, hugging one another.

"You hurt?" She could hear the panic in his voice and it made her arms tighten around him.

"No baby, I'm alright." She hummed into his hair and slowly turned to try and guide him back to the living room. She was okay, but she wanted to sit down, and she didn't want Chris to be worrying about her. He was upset enough as it was. He didn't have to try and look after (Y/n), she was okay and she was the one who needed to comfort him.

"Should I call dad?"

"No, don't tell your dad."

(Y/n) didn't want Eddie panicking. She would tell him later on when he came home if she needed to. There was no point worrying him now when he was at work.

***

"What have you been up to today?" Eddie tilted his head down and kissed the top of Chris's head when his boy barrelled into him. He had barely been in the house two minutes and Chris was hugging him like they hadn't seen each other in days, weeks, months even.

"Panting." The word was mumbled into Eddie's chest, but it was the tone of Chris's voice that set Eddie on edge.

"Oh yeah, let me see." He glanced his eyes around the living room but he looked back down to Chris when he shook his head against Eddie's chest.

"Not finished yet."

With that, Chris huffed and finally unravelled from their hug. He snatched up the few paintings he had been trying to work on all afternoon and trudged down the hall in a sluggish manner like he was half asleep.

Eddie stood watching him, a dumbfounded expression on his face and his head tilting to one side as Chris disappeared into his room.

That wasn't the usual welcome he got when he came home. Chris never usually hugged him that desperately unless Eddie had been on double shifts or Chris wasn't well or was feeling upset. And he was usually bright and bubbly and eager to tell Eddie what he had been up to whether it was about his lessons in school or what he and (Y/n) had been doing during the day.

With a shake of his head, Eddie headed out the living room and peered into the dining room before he headed into the kitchen, looking for his wife.

His eyes settled on (Y/n) who was drifting around the kitchen like she was in a world of her own. She looked like she was tidying up, but the way she practically thrust the plates into the cupboard and how they rattled like they were about to shatter told Eddie that maybe, (Y/n) wasn't herself either.

"Baby, are you both okay? Chris barely spoke to me, he seems anxious." Eddie headed into the kitchen and leaned one hand on the kitchen island while his other hand found his hip and his head tilted to one side.

Leaning forward, (Y/n) arched her back out and leaned on the counter while she moved one hand to run up and down her face. She was glad her back was currently to Eddie or he would have seen the tears welling up in her eyes. She knew he could read every one of her expressions and if she turned to look at him, he would know she was upset- no, she was furious. And in agony.

"Shannon stopped by." It took a lot of effort to control her voice and try to sound passive and calm rather than infuriated and pained.

She put another few pots back in the cupboards but she couldn't refrain from reaching her hand around to press into her lower back that felt like it was on fire. It was as if every nerve was igniting and sizzling like a fuse on a firework.

When she went to the bathroom, (Y/n) didn't dare turn around and look in the mirror because she didn't want to see the bruises that were going to be littering her lower back. It didn't feel like she had fallen that badly earlier, but after an hour, her back began to seize up and ache and now it was getting worse.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know." She shook her head, wiped her hands beneath her eyes and finally turned around to face him. "You tell her not to pull a stunt like that again, Chris saw her and it's rattled him. She does that again and I'll swing for her."

Eddie's eyes widened and he took a deep breath as he moved to stand in front of her. The way her voice wobbled and the way she kept tensing her neck and tilting her chin told Eddie she was finding it hard not to burst into tears.

He hadn't known Shannon would turn up today. Eddie couldn't remember the last time he spoke to her, it had been that long. She never usually turned up unannounced and if she did, it was to talk to Eddie about something, not to blunder in and try to disrupt their lives and see Chris. She knew how upsetting it would be for hi,- at least, Eddie thought he had made that clear.

His heart lurched into his throat when he saw the grimace that flooded (Y/n)'s face and the way she leaned back on the counter like she couldn't hold herself up.

Reaching out, Eddie took (Y/n)'s arms and reeled her off the counter in favour of looping her arms around his neck instead. His hands moved to her waist and he pulled her closer until her bump was pressing into his abdomen and he leant his head down until their temples were pressed together.

"Hey, hey calm down." His hands gently squeezed her waist and he took a few deep breaths to try and coax (Y/n) to do the same. "I'll call her tomorrow and set the ground rules again, I'll make it clear she can't come by unannounced."

(Y/n) nodded and tried to take a deep breath. "Good."

Her eyes closed for a few moments but her hands tightened around Eddie's neck and she leaned into him when her back twinged.

"Are you okay?" Eddie's hand shifted from her waist to cup the side of her face and he stroked his thumb across her cheek as his eyes narrowed.

"Just- just worked up." She tried to nod her head but the reassuring look faded from her eyes and she let her eyes cast down to Eddie's chest so he didn't see the pain sparking within them. She didn't want to worry him. That was the last thing (Y/n) wanted to do. She didn't want to argue about Shannon either, her being here had caused enough arguments and problems as it was.

"Well that's not allowed, so go sit down and calm down for me. Hm?"

He tilted his head down to steal a kiss but he felt the way (Y/n)'s breathing hitched against his and how she seemed to lean into him a little more as if she didn't want him to let go. His touch lingered on her hips when (Y/n) finally moved out of his hold and his eyes followed her and the way she kept moving her hand towards her back as she walked.

Something wasn't right. She didn't look well.

(Y/n) was sure she heard the kettle flick on in the background and she heard Eddie humming as he set about making a drink.

Her eyes cast about the living room but she sighed when she realised Chris must have gone to his room. He usually sat with them when Eddie came home and he hadn't finished his paintings, the brushes and paint pallet were still on the coffee table along with the painting table cloth. Chris usually tried to finish any artwork he started, he didn't like leaving them. Shannon had really disgruntled him today.

(Y/n) shuffled between the chair and the sofa, aiming to tidy the coffee table but she doubled over when her back twinged again.

Her left hand moved to cradle her lower bump and her other hand grabbed the armchair before she stumbled to her knees.

"Fuck." She tipped her head down and closed her eyes, trying to ward off the pain in her back. She was going to have to get Eddie to take a look, she couldn't carry on with this striking pain that was steadily getting worse; she had definitely pulled a muscle or trapped a nerve when she fell.

Maybe sitting down like Eddie suggested would do her some good and make her feel better.

She moved to try and ease onto the sofa, but she stopped abruptly when another pain struck her, but it wasn't her back again. It was her stomach.

Her left hand reached out for the sofa but when she moved her right hand down from her stomach to her thighs, a cold slither of dread slithered down her spine. Everything started to spin and her body succumbed to trembling when she saw the blood coating her palm.

Her fingers rapidly skimmed across her thighs again and she pulled at her leggings and noticed they were starting to become damp.

"Eddie… Eddie, oh God."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she whimpered, unable to take her eyes off her palm that was coated with blood. This wasn't good. Why was she bleeding? She had been okay earlier, except for the back pain.

"What- baby what happened?" He felt the way she jumped when his hands found her arms and he carefully turned her around so she was facing him when (Y/n) stayed deadlocked in place.

His eyes narrowed and he looked (Y/n) up and down, trying to see what was worrying her. But he hated the look on her face when she held her hand out towards him and whimpered. He didn't realise he was moving until his hand was gripping her wrist tightly and his other hand stayed on her elbow.

He stepped closer until there was barely any space between them and he roamed his frantic eyes up and down her frame to find the source of the blood. He didn't like what he saw.

"I don't- oow." When she crippled forward and pressed her face into his chest, Eddie cupped the back of her neck and kissed her head.

He could feel his heart hammering against his ribs, trying its best to break out of her chest and envelope around (Y/n). He wanted to calm her down, he wanted to tuck her safely into his heart and look after her but to do that he was going to have to take her to hospital.

"Shit, shit baby just stay there a minute. I'll grab Chris and see if Buck can watch him, you need to go to the ER."

(Y/n) shook her head and tried to push into Eddie when he moved to weave around her. She choked on her breath, desperate for Eddie to stay here with her. She didn't want to be left on her own, not for a second. She didn't know what was happening and she needed to keep the baby safe.

"One minute baby, I swear." His wet lips pressed into her rather warm temple and he helped her lean against the sofa before he sped down the hall.

He sent a few rushed texts off to Buck to see if he could have Chris and he could of cried when he got an instant response saying to drop Chris off. Both Eddie and Buck had just left shift and come home, Buck had no plans and he would always look after his nephew whether it was an emergency or not.

He rapped his knuckles on the bedroom door and leaned in the doorway, waving his hand at Chris who was laid on his bed on his stomach with a book in front of him.

"Buddy, come with me, I'm gonna drop you with uncle Buck. I need to take mum to the doctor." He didn't want to worry Chris, he really didn't, but he needed them to get a move on. They had to leave now.

"Is she hurt?"

The panic that flooded Chris's face took Eddie by surprise and he tilted his head to one side, squinting at his son in confusion. Eddie said the doctor, not the hospital. Could he see the panic on Eddie's face so clearly, or was he worried about something else?

"Uh, no, she's not feeling well. Come on, quick as you can." When he motioned his hand out towards Chris, his boy hopped off the bed and scuttled over to him immediately.

He burrowed into Eddie's side and let his dad usher him out of the room and into the hall. But Eddie could feel his boy trembling and shrinking in on himself like he was afraid of something.

Their speed-walk slowed down somewhat when Chris tilted his head back into Eddie's chest and looked up at his dad with big blown eyes and pursed lips.

"Is- is it because of the fall?" He cringed when he saw his dad's face fall and a manic look flooded his face.

Chris knew he wasn't technically supposed to talk about it, his mum asked him not to because she would explain. And he didn't want to think back to what happened this morning when Shannon turned up. But if his mum wasn't well, then maybe it was because of what happened and if that was the case, then Shannon was to blame in this situation.

"What, what fall?" The suspicious tone in Eddie's voice made Chris shrink in on himself and he darted his head into the living room to look at his mum.

A dark look passed over Eddie's eyes and (Y/n) leaned on the back of the sofa to prop herself up when she felt like those daggers he was shooting her way were going to cut her into pieces. Her hands clutched at the sofa and her lower back arched out as she shook her head in Chris's direction.

"Chris, no-"

"You fell? Somebody explain to me now what happened."

(Y/n) could feel tears glistening in her eyes and trickling down her face at the demanding tone to Eddie's voice and the possessive look in his eyes. He looked more riled up than she had ever seen him and she knew it was making Chris unsure. He felt like he had said something wrong.

Moving her arm to point behind her, (Y/n) muttered "Go get in the car," to which Chris nodded immediately. He felt Eddie pass him down the car keys and he hurried towards the front door. He knew they would be in the car within a minute because they needed to go and whatever they talked about wasn't going to last long when (Y/n) needed a doctor.

Biting her lip, (Y/n) cast her eyes down to stare into her bump when she felt Eddie advance towards her. She shivered and held her breath when he stood beside her and she felt his hands cupping he face. His thumbs stroked her cheekbones and he tilted her head up so she was staring into those dark eyes that were burning through into her soul.

The way his lips pursed and his brows rose made (Y/n) shudder and she tried to hold back tears when his eyes burned into hers.

"What. Fall?"

His words were punctuated and slow and the deep breath he took made (Y/n) reach up and cling to his wrists to keep herself steady.

"Shannon wouldn't leave, I- I tried to get her to go… she blundered in a-and I fell against the cabinet. I thought- it was just my back, Eddie I didn't know," When her eyes cast down to her bump, (Y/n) couldn't help the little sob that bubbled past her lips and she gripped his wrists so tightly she cut off the circulation to his fingers.

It had been her back that hit the cabinet and it felt like she had hurt a muscle, she hadn't hit her stomach or fell on her bump or fallen with that much of a thud. She thought she would be okay. She thought the baby was okay, they had been wriggling and kicking since the small accident and she hadn't had any pains until this last hour.

"Okay, okay shh. It happens…" His lips attached to her temple and he let her lean into his chest and bind her arms around his chest.

Eddie understood, he knew some tiny falls could cause big impacts and other times a big fall or accident didn't do any harm at all to the baby. And if (Y/n) had felt fine until now then no one would have figured anything would of been wrong. But he needed to get her to the hospital now to look after her and the baby.

When a sudden thought dwelled at the front of his mind, Eddie's hands stiffened against her neck and he held his breath. He carefully reeled her head up from his chest to look down at her.

"Did she push you?" The dark, gravelly tone to his voice made (Y/n) tighten her arms around him.

"No, not really, but she- she wouldn't leave," More tears trickled down her face as Eddie carefully turned her around in his arms so her back was pressed up against his chest.

Eddie kept one hand firmly on her hip and held the other hand out in front of her so she could grip his hand for stability. He started to guide her towards the door with his lips attached to the back of her head and they walked in slow tandem together. But Eddie could feel every wave of pain that tore through (Y/n) and had her whimpering and doubling over.

She felt the growl that vibrated from Eddie's chest through to hers when they headed out the door and Eddie locked it behind them.

"I'll kill her for this."

[inkskinned]

there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

[levandright]

( 니키 ) ﹕ secret glances

pairings : riki x f!reader ☘︎ content / warning(s) : fluff, classmates to friends to lovers, riki is down bad, school au, non-idol au ☘︎ word count : 0.7k enha archive

synopsis. the fleeting glances you've exchanged with riki, quiet and unspoken, each moment bringing your hearts closer together. ☘︎ lev notes : happy birthday to riki <3 this is the surprise i was talking about in my last work hehe :3 i tried out not using dialouges much and i think it worked well ;)

-`♡´- | the first day of school always carries a mix of excitement and nerves, but today felt heavier. new school, new faces—it was overwhelming. as you stepped into the classroom, the buzz of conversation seemed to quiet, and dozens of eyes turned toward you. the teacher beckoned you to the front, and with a deep breath, you introduced yourself, your voice steady despite the pounding in your chest.

and then, you saw him.

among the sea of unfamiliar faces, his stood out the most. dark eyes met yours with a curiosity that sent a flicker of something unspoken through the air. you held the gaze longer than you should have, unsure if it was intrigue or coincidence that kept him looking back.

“take the seat behind nishimura,” the teacher instructed, pulling you from the moment.

he turned slightly as you moved toward the desk behind him, his gaze flicking upward once more before he straightened in his seat. the faintest trace of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips, gone before you could be certain you saw it.

sliding into your seat, you couldn’t help but wonder if that fleeting moment meant something—or if it was nothing at all.

-`♡´- | the classroom buzzed with excitement and a little awkwardness as the teacher announced the dance activity. you couldn’t help but glance at riki, who was leaning against his desk with his usual casual air. when the pairs were called, you were matched with someone else, and for a fleeting moment, you thought you saw riki’s relaxed expression falter.

as the music started, you focused on keeping in step with your partner, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of someone watching. you turned your head slightly, catching riki’s gaze. his eyes were dark, fixed on you with an intensity that made your pulse quicken.

it was during one of the moves—a gentle touch to your waist—that his stare sharpened. he wasn’t smiling, his usual light demeanor replaced with something quieter, almost brooding.

when your partner spun you back into position, you risked another glance at riki. his expression remained unreadable, but the weight of his gaze lingered, leaving you wondering what he was truly thinking.

-`♡´- | the classroom was quiet during the break, with most students chatting softly or scrolling through their phones. riki, however, had his head down on his desk, his breathing steady as he napped. you knew he’d pulled another all-nighter, probably gaming or cramming for an assignment, so you decided to let him rest.

settling into the seat next to him, you unwrapped your snack and quietly ate, trying not to disturb him. but as the minutes passed, your attention wandered to his face—peaceful, so different from his usual playful expressions. his messy black hair fell slightly over his eyes, and you couldn’t help but notice how soft his features looked in the afternoon light.

suddenly he shifted, turning his head toward you. his eyes fluttered open, and before you could react, your gazes locked. you froze, caught in the moment, his sleepy stare holding yours as a faint smirk curved his lips.

-`♡´- | the park was quiet, the world wrapped in a blanket of fresh snow. each flake fell softly, creating a serene, magical scene. your hands were intertwined with riki’s, his palm warm against yours despite the chilly air. the two of you sat on a bench beneath a snow-covered tree, the silence between you comforting, like a shared secret.

you couldn’t help but hum softly, the peacefulness of the moment filling you with warmth. the snow glittered under the faint glow of a nearby streetlamp, and for a moment, it felt like you were the only two people in the world.

but then you noticed—riki hadn’t said a word in a while. curious, you turned your head to look at him, expecting his usual playful smirk or a sarcastic comment. instead, you found him already watching you.

his lips curved into a gentle smile, the kind that reached his eyes. but it wasn’t just a smile—it was full of something deeper, something that made your heart skip. his gaze held a quiet affection, unguarded and tender.

“you’re beautiful,” he murmured softly, almost as if speaking the words to himself. and just like that, the snow wasn’t the only thing melting.

enha perm taglist. @dazzlingjaeyun @honeychocos @manaah02 @kozumesphone @jias-entopia

[synthetickitsune]

Jeonghan (SVT) | Heat fluff | 0.8k | gn!reader A/N: straight up not having a good time wtf are these temperatures

Whoever said that it’s easier to bear hardships when you’re sharing them with someone is a liar. 

The unnatural heat is already torturous to handle. You’re melting, most likely dehydrated with how much you sweat, and sleeping is impossible when it feels like you’re boiling alive. You’re grumpy, tired, and probably hungry too. Not like you have any appetite in this weather.

Not a good time, made worse by none other than your boyfriend.

Jeonghan huffs and groans in a way that makes it sound more like a whine. He’s thrown the blankets off the bed, he’d remove the pillows too if you didn’t promptly pull them to your side of the bed. He keeps squirming, tossing and turning. Honestly if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s on his deathbed writhing in agony instead of trying to nap.

“Hannie, just settle down,” you sigh, then you do it again when your boyfriend turns into a starfish and shoos you to the very edge of the bed.

“I can’t sleep at all,” he complains, his bleary eyes looking at you like you have a solution, “I can’t keep my eyes closed, I just keep thinking.”

You run a hand through his sweaty hair. Sleep usually came easily to him. When it doesn’t, well, he can always cuddle up to you for distraction. Unfortunately, the conditions today do not allow for prolonged physical contact.

“I’m sorry, maybe some music would help? ASMR?” you suggest, although you’re not hopeful. He shakes his head with a resigned - and dramatic - huff.

“Maybe,” he licks his lips, trailing off for a second before looking at you again, “Maybe if I was alone?”

His eyes seem dull in the dim light of the room, pleading and so so tired. It’s not the first time and it’s not gonna be the last time he asked you to leave the bedroom without saying it outright. 

“Of course, honey,” you hum, quickly pecking his forehead, “I’ll be around if you need me.”

“I always need you,” he murmurs.

You give up on sleep entirely after fifteen minutes of the same, if not worse, disgusting sleepless uncomfortableness in the spare bedroom and accept that nothing will help you now. Maybe if you went out for a walk to get some ice cream the apartment would feel less like an oven in comparison.

So that’s what you do. You can’t say it really helped, though. 

The apartment is still too hot, and now too quiet as well, so you hope Jeonghan at least is getting the rest he deserves.

You walk into the kitchen and are just putting the ice cream into the freezer, hoping to enjoy it when he wakes up, when you get the scare of your life. You’re bent over, making space for the box when suddenly a weight drops down on your back and you scream.

You almost headbutt the culprit, backing yourself against the freezer and the fridge as Jeonghan looks at you just as caught off guard and with a pout on his face.

“What the fuck,” you breathe out, hand over your chest, “Do you want me to die?”

“Where did you go? You told me you’ll be here if I need you,” he grumbles right back at you.

“And did you need me?” you quirk a brow at him.

“Yes!” he insists, pursuing his lips more, “You weren’t there when I needed you to tell me you’re not mad that I kicked you out of the bedroom and aren’t leaving me.”

You roll your eyes. “You know I’m not.”

“What if I didn’t know today,” he closes the distance between you, only enough that he can rest his forehead on your shoulder without your bodies touching.

“Should I go get you some sleeping pills? You’re so out of it,” you tease, rubbing his back for a few seconds.

“No but you can tell me you got my favorite,” he motions towards the still open freezer and box of ice cream barely balanced on top of the open shelf.

“Of course I did,” you reassure him and he finally lets you finish the task, “Did you get any sleep?”

“No, I felt bad because the other bedroom gets the most sunlight,” he gives you a small smile, “And then you went out and I felt worse.”

You coo at your boyfriend. He pulls you close, hugging you just for a short few seconds in which you manage to kiss his cheek.

“You’re so silly, you know I don’t mind. And it’s not like any room is better or worse right now,” you shrug. He doesn’t seem too convinced but nods anyway.

The only thing you can do, as much as you both hate it, is wait. Wait for the ice cream to freeze again. Wait for the cooler temperatures of the night. Nothing is really entertaining when clothes stick to your body and you’re both tired. 

But at least you can brave this hand in hand. Maybe that’s what it means to handle misery better with company.

[unstable-samurai]

The Shy Nerdy Best Friend is Actually Pretty Cool... and Hot

Minnie x Male Reader

one-shot

tags: friends to lovers, fluff, Confession, babying, drunk reader, penetration, blowjob, cumshot...

You don't remember much from that night. One of the few alcohol-induced blackouts you've had in your life, with fragmented memories blurred like a distant dream, some real, others not. Vague, like the first memory of your childhood, but not as special. Based on what Minnie said, you were brought to her house by some of your "friends" after drinking all you could at a stupid party you didn't even want to go to. The idea was for Minnie to take care of you, 'cause, in the condition you were in, staying alone at home was risky and, well, none of your "friends" - and these were their words - would act like your "mother"...

except for her...

The doorbell rang around 09:30 PM.

She answered the door with curious astonishment, probably having been asleep when this hurricane of voices hit her door.

"He's all yours!" said one of your friends, pushing you towards Minnie.

"HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" she asked alarmed. "... What happened to him...?"

"He's drunker than the devil. We brought him here for you to keep an eye on him," said the other friend, the one who drove to Minnie's house.

"Me?!"

"Of course. We're not his mom to take care of the guy." They looked at each other and laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world. "You've done this before, right?"

"No. Last time he was sick. I don't know how to take care of a drunk person!" she tried to explain while using all her strength to keep you upright.

The problem was that you weighed almost twice as much as she did.

"Great. It's practically the same thing!"

"We're going back to the party! Tell him to call us tomorrow. See you later, babe!" he said, ironically, of course.

"Hey... are you okay?" Minnie asked you.

"Your hair is all messy," you said, messing up her hair even more.

"I was napping on the couch. And you're a complete mess. But let's get inside, you weigh more than a bull!"

You put your arm around Minnie and dragged yourself into the house with her. She helped you sit on the couch; your head was spinning and everything seemed terribly distant. When you looked at Minnie, she seemed to be staring at you, but you weren't sure. In your state, even her action figures seemed to be watching you.

"I think I'm bothering you. I am, aren't I?" you asked. "I can go home. I can walk just fine."

You made a motion to get up.

"Sit down, idiot!" she said, pushing you back onto the couch. "It's okay. I'm just worried about you. Did you take any drugs?"

"Hmm, I don't think so," you replied, terribly sincere.

She brought you a glass of water. While you were drinking, she asked:

"I tried to talk to you several times today. I called and texted you. I thought we were going to marathon that stupid Hobbit trilogy.”

"Looks like I had better plans," you replied sarcastically.

"Uh-huh, it seems so..."

"Can I lay my head on your lap? I want you."

You didn't notice, but she blushed.

"Alright, I guess."

You laid your head on her lap and closed your eyes. Minnie started to gently stroke your hair.

"You should stop going to those parties. There's nothing good about them. And your friends always abandon you at the end of them."

"I wished you were there with me," you confessed.

"You know I don't like parties. And if I went, your friends would probably just laugh at me if I were there."

"That's true. It's really true. Damn, it's a damn truth... I think I drank to try to forget about you a little." You revealed suddenly. "I was feeling bad for breaking my promise to you."

"Why didn't you want to come?"

"I've been a little irritated with you lately."

"Why? What did I do?! I'm sorry! ... But what did I do?"

You laughed like an idiot.

"Your way, your tastes, your clothes, your voice, your smell irritate me... man, the list is long."

She immediately stopped stroking your hair.

"Oh... got it."

"All of that irritates me because I... because I love all those things about you and I can't admit it. It irritates me that you're perfect... in a good way. Sorry. "You hugged her around the waist, hiding your face in Minnie's belly, who stood paralyzed.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"You're so good to me while I treat you terribly. I wish I were a better guy." You commented, sounding like an embarrassed confession.

"No, no! You treat me so well! You're so sweet to me."

"No... it's just... when I'm with my friends, they make jokes about you and say I hang out with you just to get easy sex or whatever... The problem is I never raise my voice to defend you, I just sulk or change the subject like a damn coward. No one should talk about you like that... Damn, I think I'm going to vomit!"

"Ew! Don't vomit on me!”

You stumbled to your feet and Minnie guided you to the bathroom. You managed to make it to the toilet in time, avoiding vomiting all over her bathroom.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

You waited for the sound of the toilet flushing to pass, then replied, "You could have held my hair while I was puking. Where are your manners?"

She chuckled and sat against the bathroom wall.

"You're such an idiot, you know."

"Do you still want to watch The Hobbit trilogy?"

"It's already too late, and besides, in your state, you wouldn't be able to focus on staring at a wall for 1 minute."

"I guess you're right."

"Hey, seriously, you should stop hanging out with those guys. They're not your real friends."

"I just hang out with them, you know, so I'm not alone."

"You have me."

You silently observed Minnie for too long, making her start to feel uncomfortable. You tried to think of something good to say to her, something that would make her feel better, because, well, after revealing that those guys were mocking her behind her back, it was the least you could do.

"Is that Tweety?" you asked, pointing to her blouse.

"Yep! Do you like it?"

"It looks like you. The glasses and all. It's pretty cute. Do you think I could get a Tweety shirt?"

"Finding a male Tweety shirt for you will be tough."

"No problem. I'll definitely look better in that baby tee than you, no offense. By the way, is Tweety male or female?"

"Tweety is male!"

"Ah, I never noticed."

"Hey, I was serious when I said you have me. You like me, right? We're friends?"

"Minnie you are my best friend, please."

"Then it doesn't make sense you to hang out with people who are constantly mocking me. Now that you've said that, I won't accept you continuing to be friends with them and me at the same time!" she protested.

"Hmm... Okay. That's fair. I'll kill all of them for you."

"I'm serious. You're going to have to choose between me or them."

"I choose you. You, Minnie."

You clumsily crawled over and hugged her, squeezing her small body against yours, which was one of your favorite feelings.

"Okay, okay. I get it! But I don't think this is the most hygienic place for us to hug." Minnie helped you to your feet. "Go take a shower and see if you can get rid of that vomit breath.”

“If I do everything right, do I get a kiss?”

“No way! You’re drunk. In the morning, I want you saying all this to me again. If it’s really true, then tomorrow will be a very special day for me…”

“I love you, Minnie,” you whispered, looking into her eyes. “I want to be your man so badly. It even makes me feel like crying when I think about it.”

She playfully tapped your chest and pushed you away, giggling nervously.

“I love you too. I really do,” she said with a shy smile. “I’ll get some clothes you left here for you to wear. Please don’t slip in the bathroom because I won’t have the strength to lift you.”

"I'm not an idiot to slip in the bathroom."

"But you can act like one sometimes." she said, before closing the door.

"Do you want to play Mortal Kombat?" you asked Minnie as she dried her hair with the hairdryer in her room.

"WHAT?!"

"I asked if you want to play Mortal Kombat!" You said, now louder. "This darn hairdryer sounds like a jet engine!"

She turned it off.

“If I beat you while sober, imagine drunk as you are now. No, you need to eat. Soup will be good for you."

"Cup Noodles, that's it!"

"No! Real soup. Light and with vegetables. I actually ordered some."

"Ah," you grumbled disheartened. "I've lost my appetite."

"But you're going to eat!"

"Fine, fine! If you insist... Hey, is that a Smurf on the table?"

"My goodness, you look so lost when you're drunk. Like your brain has shrunk," Minnie said casually, trying to hide a laugh. "That's a Squirtle. And you're the one who gave it to me as a gift."

"This is actually quite offensive on your part. I'm sharper than most drunks."

"Aw, don't be offended." She pinched your cheeks like a baby. Minnie was definitely taking advantage of the fact that you were drunk.

And in a way, you thought she was entitled to it.

Once again in her lap, you ended up discovering that night that this was your favorite place. Warm and protected from any harm. And even intoxicated, sparks of lucidity allowed you to see through the smoke that hovered over your mind. No, better than that, it allowed you to feel the security that Minnie had when she was by your side, singing "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles to you. And singing was something she didn't do around anyone; insecurity and shyness prevented her from doing so. In this way, she hid one of her greatest talents because she sang in an angelic manner, extremely comfortable with her own voice, sounding good without any instrument to accompany her. The fact was that if it weren't for the headache, you would have been sure you were in a sublime dream.

"That was the best lullaby I've ever heard," you murmured.

"I thought you were already asleep."

"Sing more."

"No, that's enough. You need to sleep."

"I want to hear you sing every night," you said, and Minnie laughed because you wore a silly, goofy smile. Apparently, your facial expressions weren't entirely under control.

"I hope I can sing to you every night. Just for you." Minnie slid her finger slowly across your nose, watching you with an enigmatic expression. She took advantage of the fact that your eyes were closed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Uh-huh... sure," you mumbled.

"Have you always been ashamed of me? Regardless of your answer, it won't matter because you're drunk."

You immediately stood up from her lap, feeling dizzy and alarmed, but rational enough to say:

"I want you to meet my parents, Minnie. Um, I was planning to tell you tomorrow, after you agreed to be my girlfriend. So consider this a little spoiler. I want to hold your hand and have the right to call you 'mine.'"

"Do you swear?" she asked, her lips trembling.

"Yes. All this time, the girl of my dreams has been right by my side, and I ignored it. My face is red with embarrassment now. From tomorrow onward, I'll make it up to you, and if you give me a chance, I'll make you feel special every day. Just as you deserve."

"Besides bad jokes and terrible taste in movies, you're also quite good at romance. God, I wish I could kiss you right now..."

"Okay, so I'll do it in your place. Excuse me, I'm going to kiss your forehead," you said, leaning closer to her.

Amid giggles, she asked: "What are you doing?"

"If you'll allow me..." You lifted Minnie's bangs as if checking her temperature and then planted a quick kiss on her forehead.

"You're such a goof, my goodness."

"And I'm also crazy about you."

"Let's hope these things still hold true tomorrow," she remarked, and you saw her eyes sparkle for you. "I want to believe..."

"Wait, was that an X-Files refer-?"

"Yep!" In fact, she said it by chance. "You're definitely sharper than most drunks."

“I told you, I told you!”, you exclaimed like a child.

The bedroom curtain wasn't fully closed, so a beam of light at 8:30 AM came through the window and hit your eyes, warming your skin until it became unbearable, and you opened your eyes to the whitish view of Minnie's room. Your vision returned to normal as your mind assimilated the facts. How the hell did I get here? And why am I in Minnie's bed? Oh, and It was strange for you to be in her room because when you slept at Minnie's house, you usually slept on the couch. It was hard to recap the events of the previous night, but they came to your mind in the following way:

I went to the party.

I was sad because of confusing feelings.

I drank.

I drank.

I drank.

I drank a lot.

Some of my "buddies" took me to Minnie's house.

She took care of me. Again.

Hmm, yeah, things probably happened this way or a similar version of it.

You looked at the clothes you were wearing. It definitely wasn't that stupid Zelda shirt you wore to the party.

Holy crap. Could it be that Minnie helped me change my clothes?

You felt completely embarrassed and afraid to find out what happened the previous night.

‘Don’t be an idiot and face it like a man.’

Words from your father when the two of you talked earlier that month about your internal conflict over admitting your romantic feelings for a particular girl. He didn't care about most of your problems, but this one irritated him. Your ridiculous concern about others' opinions on your life, your girl, who you should date... And staying silent in the face of offensive comments about your friend... He almost threw that beer in your face. If you don’t confess your feelings to this girl, then another man will, and then it will be too late. And I don't want you here ruining my Sunday afternoon because of your stupidity. He didn’t know how to say things without sounding like a retired army colonel, but you thought you deserved to hear those words in that exact tone. The time had come to put your old man's advice into practice. You quietly left the room and went to the bathroom to wash your face. From the noise, Minnie was in the kitchen cooking something. It wasn’t in your plans to confess your feelings to her with a horrendous hangover face, but damn it, you hoped she loved you for what you had inside: guts and true feelings for her.

When you got to the breakfast table in the kitchen, there was a plate of scrambled eggs, a cup of coffee, and warm toast waiting for you. Minnie was wearing an adorable overall and a gentle smile was on her face. You loved this morning view and wished it could be like this every morning.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" she asked, sitting at the table.

"I slept well," you said timidly.

"Come on, eat your breakfast." She insisted, and you joined her at the table.

"And you? Did you sleep well? You know I could have slept on the couch."

"Nah, you needed a real rest. Besides, the couch isn't that bad."

"Sorry for ruining your night."

"I saved you yesterday, you'll save me tomorrow," she said cheerfully. "Are you feeling okay?"

"My head hurts a bit, but just being conscious is a relief... By the way, you didn't change my clothes, did you?"

She put her hand to her mouth in a mock expression of shock.

"Oh my God! How do you remember this?"

"Oh, man! Fuck!"

"Just kidding! You changed yourself like a big boy!" she revealed, laughing at your reaction.

"Thank God!"

After breakfast, you helped her wash the dishes and clear the table. There was a moment of rest when you both went to the living room, the glorious morning light shining renewed, somehow lifting your spirits and giving you a bit of courage.

"Listen, Minnie, I'm not sure what I said or did yesterday. I have a feeling I might have dropped a bomb on you because I noticed you seemed a bit off during breakfast."

"I'm just a little anxious."

"I need to tell you that I've been in love with you for a while. And I've been feeling bad for not treating you the way you truly deserve. You might say it's no big deal, but to me, it is. It's something that causes me anguish, and now I want to change that if you'll give me a chance." You held Minnie’s hands, her eyes reflecting the hope in her heart, your actions feeling right and natural, without shame or hesitation in saying: "I love you, Minnie."

"I love you too. I think I've loved you since that day we shared an umbrella while walking back from the movies. You and I walking together in silence, our shoulders occasionally touching, and the rain falling around us... Oh, and you looked so handsome that day.”

"Minnie... Can I kiss you?"

You and Minnie started kissing on the couch, desire and emotion burning uncontrollably between you. Your lips met with a mix of nervousness and passion, the first kiss an electric shock that coursed through your body. She was the girl of your life, there was no doubt anymore. The reciprocity was a wet and intense response, a kiss with your tongues intertwining as you both had secretly longed for. Her hands began to explore your body, sliding over your muscles with a provocative softness. "I've wanted this for so long," she whispered against your lips, her voice laden with desire. The room seemed to heat up with the energy emanating from you, also radiant with the morning sun, the birds singing outside, and the tension between you dissolving as you surrendered to the moment. Your bodies moved closer and closer, the excitement growing with each touch and sigh.

As the kisses heated up, the intensity increased, and you lost your balance, falling off the couch in a tangle of bodies. "Oh, wait, my glasses!" Minnie exclaimed, and you gently took off her glasses and placed them on the couch. "You still look handsome, even slightly blurry," she said.

On the floor, your hands were eager, sliding over Minnie's body as you pulled down one of her overall straps, revealing the warm, soft skin beneath. With a quick movement, you removed the other strap, leaving her in just her striped top and bra. Minnie let out a low moan as she felt your firm hands lift her top, slowly exposing her small breasts covered by the bra. You pulled the bra straps down, freeing her breasts, and immediately began to play with them, sucking and squeezing them with a mix of softness and firmness. "Oh, yes, keep going," she murmured, her eyes closed and head thrown back, deliberately feeling the heat of your mouth against her skin. Her sighs filled the room, each touch and moan intensifying the excitement. Her skin was soft and fragrant, and the sensation of her nipples hardening under your tongue was very, very good.

After dedicating yourself to Minnie's breasts, you slid your lips down her abdomen, pulling her overall down a bit more. Your tongue traced a slow, teasing path, exploring the sensitive skin of her belly. "You're so hot, Minnie," you murmured between kisses, your voice full of desire for her. Minnie moaned softly, her hips moving involuntarily as you continued to adore her. "Lick me more, please," she whispered, her face flushed with excitement. Your lips and tongue explored every inch of her belly, each touch sending waves of pleasure through her body. The combination of gentle kisses and sensual licks made Minnie gasp with pleasure, her body arching with each new stimulus. "Mmmm, I love it when you do that," she moaned, her voice sweeter than ever.

You took off your stupid Zelda shirt (hoping Minnie hadn't focused too much on it). When it came time to take off your underwear, Minnie took charge, deftly pulling it off and tossing it aside without hesitation. She looked at you with a mischievous glint in her eyes before wrapping her lips around your cock. "I always knew you had a big cock; I could see how it bulged in some of the pants you wore," she revealed. Somehow, Minnie's sudden confidence made her even sexier, and your arousal ridiculously uncontrollable. The warm, wet sensation of her mouth around you was overwhelming, each movement of her tongue making your whole body tremble with pleasure. The sounds of sucking and Minnie's muffled moans filled the living room, a rhythm so pleasurable to hear. Watching her alternate between gentle and intense movements, driven by such devotion, was... beautiful, an erotic work of art for your eyes. Her lovely lips wrapped around your cock with such need, her hands caressing your thighs with so much care and love, Minnie's eyes never leaving yours. Her hair was loose, the perfect invitation to grab it and thrust your cock against Minnie's throat, helping to make it even wetter.

Minnie begged you to fuck her, feeling increasingly aroused. You sat on the floor, leaning your back against the couch as she finished taking off her clothes.

"Is this your first time?" you asked.

"No. I actually used to see a guy back in college; we had sex a few times, but he was terrible... You're suprised?"

“Oh, no. Maybe a little. Bu- Hmm, well, do you happen to have a condom?"

"I'm the last person who would have condoms at home," she said with a silly laugh. “But I think from now on this will change.”

The moment you were sharing became more intense and intimate, and Minnie, feeling increasingly aroused, noticed how wet her pussy was. She decided to heighten the sensation, rubbing your cock between her pussy lips, moaning softly with each movement. "My god, I'm so wet for you," she whispered, her voice full of lust. Minnie began to slap your cock against her pussy, each hit making her moan louder. "Look how my little pussy is dripping, babe..." she teased, her eyes fixed on yours, full of desire. You couldn't resist; you grabbed your cock and started slapping it against Minnie's pussy. "Oh, yes... hit it hard..." "Fuck, this feels so good, Minnie." The contact between you increased the sexual tension, Minnie's moans becoming louder and more frequent. "My pussy is begging for you, babe," she said between sighs and moans. The friction between your bodies made the desire grow almost unbearably, leaving her even more excited and ready for the next step: Minnie finally slid your cock inside her, letting out a deep moan of pleasure. "Oh, yes, this is so good," she exclaimed, starting to ride you with rhythmic movements. The sensation of being inside her was indescribable, each pulse of excitement increasing your pleasure. Minnie moved with an intensity that made your whole body vibrate, her moans blending with yours. "You make me feel so good," she murmured, Minnie's hands resting on your chest as she rode faster and faster. Her petite body over yours, consumed by genuine passion for you and your cock.

The atmosphere between you reached its peak as Minnie continued riding you with fervor, her movements becoming more frantic as the climax approached. "I'm gonna cum... oh, I'm gonna cum so hard," she screamed, her eyes closed and her face contorted with pleasure. You could feel the heat and wetness around your cock as she rode faster and faster, her body trembling with excitement. "Yeah, come on, come for me, baby!" you said, panting, and with a final scream of pleasure, Minnie finally came, her body shaking violently as she fell apart on top of you. Sweat dripped from your bodies, your heavy breathing a testament to the intensity of the moment. She relaxed on you, completely spent, her eyes meeting yours with a satisfied and exhausted look, the glow of pleasure still reflecting in her pupils. The connection between you proved to be real; if the declarations, looks, and gestures weren't conclusive enough before, now every sigh and touch reaffirmed the intensity of the shared experience that only two people in love can feel.

But

Despite Minnie's intense orgasm, you still hadn't cum. Realizing this, Minnie smiled mischievously and murmured, "I'm going to make you cum now." She lifted herself for a moment, only to sit back down on your cock, her body still trembling with residual pleasure. Minnie began to grind intensely, her movements desperate and full of fervor. Your moans interspersed with your panting breath, your eyes closed, completely sedated by the sensation and the imminent explosion, still focused on not coming inside her. A lethal adrenaline rush. "Cum for me... please, cum for me," she begged, her voice broken by desire and urgency. "Oh, fuck, oh god! I don't know how much longer I can hold on, babe..." Minnie said, her words and the movements of her hips creating an irresistible mix of pleasure and pressure.

Then, the intensity of Minnie's movements, combined with her words, pushed you to the edge. Feeling the climax approaching, you announced, "I'm gonna cum, Minnie,"

Fuck…Her eyes shining with excitement… She got off you and begged: "Cum on my face... I want all your cum on my face." You quickly got up, your body trembling with anticipation. Minnie knelt in front of you, looking up at you with a gaze full of expectation and desire. With a final grunt, you stroked your cock rapidly and ejaculated onto her, the hot, pulsing jets covering her face. Minnie closed her eyes, moaning as she felt every drop, a smile of pure satisfaction forming on her lips, blending her shyness, naughtiness, and cuteness.

The room was filled with the smell of sex and sweat, the atmosphere still vibrating with the energy of the intense connection you shared. Minnie, still on her knees, wiped a drop of cum from the corner of her mouth, her expression one of deep and exhausted satisfaction.

With a loving gesture, you placed Minnie's glasses back on her face, your fingers sliding gently across her skin. "You don't know how beautiful you are now,” you whispered.

Your eyes met, sparks of desire still dancing between them. With a soft smile, you pulled her close and kissed her passionately. Your lips met in a final act of surrender to the intense passion that had consumed you both, the salty taste of your cum mixing sweetly and intimately between you...

And a couple of little yellow birds on the windowsill were silent witnesses to the newly blossomed passion.

[evilminji]

Huh >.> you know how Crechelings are basicly, like... possessed?

Like? They are cute af. But they VERY MUCH are constantly reaching out too and listening too the Force cause they are Baby and know jack shit? They are in that "why? Why? Why?" ×1000 stage of life. But instead of asking ADULTS, who might not always be on hand?

Well... the FORCE is on hand.

24/7!

Why NOT ask a cosmic driving force of all creation is you should have juice or water? This fruit or that vegetable? What are we gonna play today Effectively God? I'm a toddler! I don't know what boundaries are! Nor do I realize I probably shouldn't be bothering you with every single thought that passes through my head!

Yeeeeeah....

Tiny force sensitives? HELLA possessed.

They'll pull shit like "speak in prophecy" and "I stole a ship a can't even reach the controls off, to thwart an assassination attempt, because The Force Told Me Too, and that's why I'm on another planet and missed nap time." Plus the fun ol *hands a jedi master a rock* "the force says you'll need this! :D " *walks away, oblivious to the confusion they have wrought*

There is a REASON Creche master have to be SUPER patient types. And that parents are so often like "yeah, yeah we can't handle our kid. We love them. But this is beyond what we can parent."

Cause when your kid? Looks up from their mashpotatos? To casually drop "X is going to die soon." Or "he's going to betray you, you know" like??? Sweetie. Honey, youngling, you're THREE. Wtf. It's a BIT MUCH.

But? What I'm getting at?

I wanna see Creepy!ForceAvatar!Crechelings? Like it's... it's just a STAGE kids grow out off?

And I want it to save their fuckin LIVES.

Like? During the later stages of the Clone Wars. The Force is getting agitated. Knows what's coming. Does NOT like such imbalance and death. So? Even if the OLDER ones either can't hear it clearly or won't listen? The BABIES sure can.

And it's like a FUCKING HIVEMIND.

Absolutely HORRIFYING to behold.

All these lil babies. These wee lil toddlers n smol kiddos. Just... Stopping. Misstep. Balls bouncing past hands frozen, toys mid "woosh" motion, spoons half way to faces. All of it. Just... stopped.

They all cock their heads.

Like animals trying to hear a sound better.

Put down what they were doing. Calm as you please, ignoring everything around them, everyONE. Gathering their things from their rooms. Gathering the babies. Who are... oddly well behaved. It's the most calm and orderly anyone's ever see them. None of the creche masters can get their attention. Every attempt to physically get in the way is dodged before it's even attempted.

The children... calmly. Pleasantly. Like taking a stroll.

Steal a series of ships.

Broad daylight.

In... in front of everyone. No one can even STOP them. The Force is helping. All anyone can do is just? Follow.

They settle basicly a few weeks into the uncharted zone, in an old temple no one knew was there. All they will fuckin say is variations of "the Force says we live here now!" Like? Subtle this was NOT. I guess... we live here now?

.....huh.

It IS weirdly easier to think way out here.

As though we were no longer standing in the middle of some terrible smoke cloud. Nice and calm. Lots of Light. Unlike back o-.....waaaaait a fucking second. *sound of various Master's and council members connecting dots in their head*

>:O

@legitimatesatanspawn @hypewinter @hdgnj @babbling-babull @spidori @lolottes @nerdpoe

[ruggiesbiologicalfather]

NRC Boys As Things My Students Have Said

context: my students are 3-5 years old. preschoolers can have more advanced vocabularies than people think so do NOT come in here saying "little kids don't talk like that" they absolutely do

Heartslabyul:

Riddle - "my mommy says tattoos are bad and you should never get one. why don't you listen to my mommy?"

Ace - "these are my Really Good At Running shoes, watch!" *immediately trips on the sidewalk and faceplants*

Deuce - "my head is really hard, listen!" *punches himself in the head*

Trey - "daddy, did you bring me a croissant?" [dad: "yeah, it's in the car"] *EAR SPLITTING SCREECH OF JOY*

Cater - "i made this phone so i can play games. don't worry, it's not real. i'm just a kid"

Savanaclaw:

Leona - "is it nap time yet?" [me: "not yet, we still have to eat lunch first”] "uuuuuuUUUUUUUUUGH!"

Ruggie - "look, i found for real money! i found it in the sandbox so i can have it right? it doesn't belong to anybody 'cause it was just in the sandbox. and i didn't take it from anybody, i just found it. so i can have it, right? can i have it? can i take it home?"

Jack - "carrots make us strong and candy makes us weak... i'm gonna be really big when i grow up. bigger than you. bigger than the whole school. bigger than the whole earth!"

Octavinelle:

Azul - *after winning approximately two games of tic tac toe* "i guess i'm just gonna have to be the best forever. sorry everybody"

Jade - "look at all these mushrooms! ... let me eat them, PLEASE"

Floyd - "school is so boring, there's nothing to do except like... play and stuff"

Scarabia:

Kalim - *holding a wad of bloody paper towels against his nose* "nosebleed :D! i get a popsicle now, right!? YES!"

Jamil - "they're trying to show me their bugs and that's so mean! why would they do that!?"

Pomfiore:

Vil - "what would you like to order from my restaurant?" [me: "ooh, a restaurant! i think i would like-"] "you're getting poison spaghetti"

Rook - "look at my bow and arrow!" [me: "wow, that's really cool. just remember, we don't shoot our friends. you can shoot your arrows at the trees or the-"] "i don't want it anymore"

Epel: [me: "hey kiddo, godzilla needs to go in your cubby while we have group time, then you can get him out and play with him"] "what the fuck!?"

Ignihyde:

Idia - "have you ever heard of the zelda game? i know all about it, i'm really good at it. probably better than you are actually"

Ortho - "no, stop, you can't pretend to be my sister. no, don't say her name! that's my sister! NOOOOOOO!"

Diasomnia:

Sebek - *as loud as he can from the top of the climber* "I AM VERY ANGRY!"

Silver - "mommy said i CANNOT take a nap today 'cause i won't sleep tonight but that's really not true 'cause i can sleep all the time"

Lilia - [me: "your birthday's tomorrow buddy! are you excited to turn four!?"] "no, 'cause i'm gonna kill myself! :D"

Malleus - *whispered into another kid's ear after singing happy birthday* "i hope you never die"

[unsolvedjarin]

Thinking about a kimi x fem! Driver! Reader who is basically the female version of Sebastian, where the fic is kimi and the reader doing a challenge for Ferraris channel, the reader being a bit of a know it all, and kimi just not caring

You can choose if it’s romantic or platonic:) thank you!

FERRARI AND CHINESE FOOD

pairing: (kimi raikkonen x ferrari driver! reader)

summary: ferrari has a sunshine driver and an iceman driver partake in a challenge for their youtube channel. thankfully, the sun can melt ice.

note: its 1am sorry i have no comprehensive thoughts this is a bit bad but have it anyways i am proud i made this with less than 5 hours of sleep. okay enjoy anon!!!!

content warning: my grammar at 1am

“Another one,” Kimi groans, throwing himself onto the couch in his room.

“Oh come on it’s not that bad,” you say with a grin, closing the door behind the both of you so no one could come in. You’re sure if Kimi had to talk to another person from the media he might explode. “Besides, this next one is the last one for today.”

“For today,” he emphasizes, groaning into a throw pillow once more. You’d both been doing media duties for Ferrari all day, and while it was tiring, you would say some of them had been fun and enjoyable. Although, evidently not for your teammate.

“Cheer up Kimi, it’ll be over soon,” you smile, sitting on the edge of the couch where he was laying down. You sigh, knowing the one thing that would get him to cooperate. “Dinner will be on me after.”

That grabs his attention, slightly pulling himself up and looking at you. “You mean that?”

“God you’re like a child I have to bribe,” you tease, yet with no malice. “Yes, I mean that.” You loved spending time with Kimi, and whenever there were media duties you both always had food afterwards. It was like a reward of sorts.

“Where d’ya wanna go?” Kimi mumbles, laying down on his side and resting his head on his hand. He was staring straight at you, waiting for a response. You think he looked pretty like this.

Smiling at him, you take your hand and run it through his hair softly, unable to help yourself. You would never normally do this, but you barely got moments alone during media week. Kimi grumbles but doesn’t stop you, you knew he always secretly liked it. “I dunno, what’re you up for?”

“Mmm…” he nuzzles into your hand a bit more, “Maybe chinese. I would enjoy some dumplings right now.”

“We can get Chinese then.”

Before you could have another moment of peace, however, a PR agent walked in the room to remind you that your next shoot was in ten minutes. You quickly pulled your hand away and Kimi sat up hastily, trying to fix up his hair. You give the agent an awkward thumbs up, hoping he got the message to leave.

“Okay, you’re right, this incessant filming is a bit tiring,” you say the second the door closes.

“Told you,” he simply replies. You pout in return, slumping your form beside him. He thought you looked so cute like this. Holding your cheek, he kisses your forehead, your nose, then your mouth, making you scrunch up your face. He chuckles, at least he made you feel a bit better.

“I should probably get ready for the shoot. You good here?” You ask, getting up from the couch. Kimi hums a yes, but doesn’t let go of your hand. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, Kimi, but you will have to let go of my hand so I can get to my room.”

He looks at you with puppy eyes for a second before reluctantly letting go, deciding to lay back down on the couch.

“You’re not gonna get ready?”

Kimi shakes his head, eyes already closed ready for a five minute nap. You scoff softly at him, before heading for the door. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he mumbles. Kimi was not a man of many words by any means, but he would always utter those back to you. Smiling to yourself, you shut the door and get ready for the shoot.

“So this is how the challenge goes: you have to compete with each other on who knows your fellow drivers and each other the best, and of course, most points win. You’ll write your answers on a whiteboard so there’ll be no cheating.” The interviewer behind the camera explains. You nod, giving her a signal that you were ready for them to start filming. Kimi sat beside you on a couch, his face not showing any emotions whatsoever. Looks like you would be doing the heavy lifting on this shoot today.

They snap the check in front of the camera, and the interviewer asks the first question. “Starting with something simple, who on the grid has the most wins?”

“Oh, easy.” you mumble, writing your answer down on your board. Kimi wrote his answer in silence, not talking even when he finished.

“Done?”

You nod, both you and Kimi showing your boards. Lewis Hamilton.

“Easy enough, next question! Who was Y/N’s idol growing up?”

“Aha! You should know this, I told you about it before!” you exclaim, poking Kimi. He grunts, “Not fair, she knows her own idol of course.”

“Sorry, the question wasn’t finished. For Y/N, who was Kimi's idol growing up?” The girl adds.

Oh. Your smile drops as you look to the man beside you who, for the first time in any of the shoots you did today, showed emotion by grinning wickedly at you. “You should get this, I told you about it before,” he teases, echoing your own words. You think for a second before writing down a guess of an answer.

“Time’s up! Can you both please show your boards.”

You reveal yours first, the words Ayrton Senna scribbled down on it. Looking at the man beside you for confirmation, he shakes his head.

“Awh no way! Who’s your idol then?”

Kimi shrugs his shoulders, not answering your question. He didn’t even give Ferrari an answer for that one. He looks at his own empty board for a second before jotting down an answer he’s sure is wrong, but he’s also sure as hell is funny.

Turning his board around, you see Kimi Raikkonen written down with a smiley face beside it. You snigger loudly before replying, “Sure it is bud. In your dreams, maybe.”

“Unfortunately, that is incorrect, Kimi.” The interviewer calls out.

“Go figure,” he mumbles wryly, making you grin even wider.

“No, his answer is correct.” You joke, trying to tease him even more. He gives you a look but you simply keep your sly grin. He decides to drop it, after all he at least made you smile. That in itself deserves a point.

The questions went on for a while, before they got to the harder ones. “Okay, amping it up a notch, who won the 1985 World Championship?”

“Woah, that escalated quickly,” you exclaim, pausing to think for a second.

So far the score was 4-1 for you and Kimi respectively, as he really wasn’t trying at all. You’re pretty sure he could’ve gotten the question about what year Fernando Alonso came into F1 right if he cared. Jotting your answer down to the current question, you see Kimi from your peripheral vision trying to take a peek of your board.

“Hey!” you smack him lightly with your board, “Cheater.”

He smirks, trying to block your second hit. “Wasn’t cheating.”

You continue writing your answer but this time hiding it from Kimi, keeping it as close to your chest as possible. He looks at you for a second as if planning something before going back to write on his own board. Well– he pretends to write something, but you can see him just drawing a star in the corner of his board.

“What’re you planning?” You mumble. Kimi simply shrugs his shoulders, but you can see the slight grin playing on his lips. Locking in your answer, you feel the couch shift slightly to your left. Kimi inched a little closer without you sensing it. He notices your side eye and realizes it’s now or never, and tries to tackle you to see your board.

You shriek, attempting to hide your board from him by sliding down the sofa, to no avail. Your reaction was too slow and he was already on your side of the couch. You were giggling helplessly at this point, unable to contain your joy. Opening your eyes that you didn’t notice you closed, you’re met with a large smile, your teammate proud of himself.

“Get off of me Raikkonen!” You exclaim, using his last name for emphasis. You try to shove him off but he stays solid slightly on top of you, still pretending to try and take a peek of your board. You knew he didn’t give a damn about those answers anymore.

“Say please,” he mutters, still smirking. You truly didn’t know what had gotten into him.

“Please get off of me, you bastard.”

In truth Kimi didn’t want to, he enjoyed seeing your face scrunch up under him with a laugh. He had forgotten about the cameras a long time ago– they weren’t important to him. He just liked seeing you smile. Still, he knew the faster they finished this challenge the faster he could get some alone time with you.

He finally concedes and moves back to his spot on the couch, fixing his hair and going back to writing his answer as if nothing happened. You sit up straight, fix your shirt, and do the same. The crew looked confused, feeling like they saw something that they shouldn’t have. You didn’t care, though. If anyone asked you would just say what you always did, that physical touch was your love language with friends. It wasn’t necessarily a lie, except for the fact that Kimi wasn’t just a friend.

The interviewer clears her throat before speaking up again, “Okay– uh– answers?”

“Prost, of course.” You answer with a smile. You loved studying the history of Formula One. Even though you couldn’t see, Kimi gave you the softest look he has in a while. He loved how you genuinely lit up whenever something you liked came up.

“And you, Kimi?” The interviewer asks, making the man snap out of his moment of adoration.

Kimi flips his board, a Lewis Hamilton written on it. The interviewer shakes her head but continues, “I’m sure that’s a gag answer b—”

“Is it?” Kimi butts in.

“I’m sorry?”

“Is it a gag answer?”

You shove Kimi softly on his side, “Don’t mess with her like that!”

He chuckles, before raising his hands in defeat. “Whatever you say.”

The rest of the game moves pretty quick, save for a quick argument between you and Kimi on what Sebastian’s favorite track was. As you both leave the set, you give Kimi a sneaky grin. “Bold move earlier.”

“Hmm?”

“Doing all that tackling in front of the camera. I thought you were the one who said we should be discreet. You definitely gave Ferrari a lot of bonus content. I’m sure they’ll cut it out though.”

“Ehh,” Kimi shrugs, not replying for a good while as you both walk out the Ferrari building and out into the night streets. You knew he was trying to find the right words, trying to figure out how to articulate his thoughts. It was part of the reason why he didn’t like talking so much.

Once outside he wraps his arms around you, a sign that he was finally back in the present and ready to talk. “I just wanted people to know, you know?”

“Know what? That you have a quarterback tackle?”

He chuckles at the recent memory before replying, “No, that I love you.”

You blush, hoping Kimi didn’t see it. He did. You carry on your conversation, “And how exactly did you plan to convey that message when they don’t even know we’re in a relationship?”

“Hey, Sebastian knows.” He argues.

“Seb hardly counts, he practically forced his way into figuring it out.”

Kimi shakes his head, his arms still around you. “And he walked into a room at the wrong time.”

His comment makes you laugh, a soft smile on your face as you turn to face him. “I love you, you know that?”

“Mhm. Love you too. Even if I don’t say it much.”

Your grin grows even larger, leaning up to kiss him. “You don’t have to say, I know.” He kissed you back, and he could feel your smile as he did. He thinks it’s crazy that he’s hidden such a blessing from the world. How you ever loved someone like him, he didn’t know, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Pulling away, he gives you a smile that only you get to see. The softest in the world, looking at you as if you were the world. He breaks eye contact to hold your hand, headed towards the chinese restaurant down the road. “Okay, now dumplings.”

[strawbeerossi]

Sunday Mornings

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: When you get a morning off to share together, Spencer just wants to be as close as he can to you.

Content/Warnings: Cockwarming, reader and Spencer are fluffy, some slightly sub!Spencer.

Word Count: 0.6K

Kinktober Day Three: Cockwarming

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

“You’re being so clingy today Spence.” You’d commented, stating the obvious due to the fact that Spencer was laying on top of you. His head rested comfortably against your chest as he relished in your fingers twisting and pulling at strands of hair. 

“I just wanna be close to you. We hardly ever get time to lay together.” That much was true, there was a reason that he is as touch starved as he is at the moment. Holding him doesn’t bother you, so you don’t complain.

Instead, you let out a content hum. “Yeah.. We got lucky today though. I think we should bask in it to the fullest extent.”

It had been two hours since you both woke up, not even opting to get out of bed as you were curled up with one another under the sheets, the warm glow of the early morning sunrise seeping in through your curtains. It was something straight out of a romance movie. 

“I agree. I love being here with you. Just us. No unsubs, no team..” Spencer was offering a soft smile while letting his head lift slightly, his honey colored eyes glistening from the sunlight gleaming off of them. “I know it’s probably too early but I have a request.” 

“Too early? Are you trying to have sex with me, Dr. Reid?” Your words were light, teasing as you crinkled your nose in a fond manner. The words had his cheeks bright red, head shaking rapidly. “No! I mean, I like having sex with you but I don’t wanna do that now.. Ask me later.” It was his turn to joke without clearing his throat.

“I wanted to ask if I could..” He began while blushing once more. “Put uh, put it inside?” 

His awkwardness was cute, the way he felt weird mentioning sex or saying things alone with dick, pussy, anything really. 

“You want to put your cock inside of me?” You ask, filling in the gaps. You spoke fluent Spencer Reid after three years of being with him.

“Y-yes.” The mere thought caused his cock to harden. “I just wanna be close to you.” He added softly while pushing himself to sit up some.

“You can do that, baby. You know that you can just ask next time.” Your words were teasing as your hips lifted off the mattress, panties and bottoms being tugged down your legs, your partner’s eyes trailing down your naked lower half while a little whine slipped from his lips.

“Come on, Spence.” Your words were soft and sweet, your hand coming down to gently tug the sleep pants down his legs along with his boxers. “Hold on, make sure to lick your hand first.” You commanded, a soft hum leaving your lips while watching the male nod quickly, always following instructions so well. 

As his tongue licked the palm of his hand, he gave his hardened cock a few strokes before he was aligning the thick head with your glistening pussy. “Go ahead, I’m comfortable.” Your assurance made the male nod while his shaft was slowly sinking inside of your inviting warmth. It was enough to elicit a little whimper as he let his eyes flutter shut.

As he lowered his body down to lay on you again, he was shifting to get comfortable while letting his hands slowly wrap around your torso. You had to sit up a bit to allow his arms to engulf you in a hug but you weren’t complaining at all.

“I just wanna lay with you all day like this, not even move. So warm.” His voice was slurred, already dozing once more. Getting time to enjoy each other’s presence was rare, just as rare as getting a good nap at any point of the day. You’d continued your movements, nails lightly scratching Spencer’s scalp to lull him into a peaceful sleep.

The soft snores filling the room caused a soft laugh to leave your lips, eyes closing as you let your eyes flutter shut. This was like heaven. Warmth, wrapped up in one another intimately while savoring every single moment together.

[georgiapeach30513]

Two Good Reasons, Part 9

Summary: the one with Audrey's birthday

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: mature and emotional

Warnings:  Scott Huffman, language, depictions of anaphylactic shock, mentions of divorce, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 7.7K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“Ugh,” you groan, tossing another pair of pants on the bed before stomping into the closet. Frustratingly roaming through your clothes. You’re pissed off. No, you’re in a very irritable mood because things have already not gone your way.

First thing this morning it was Scott asking for you to pick the kids up an hour earlier. Which is fine, but he could have said something last night. Hell, he could have just brought them by the house and let them stay here, so you could have a lazy day with them. In their home. Comfortable. But no! He wanted to be a difficult little bitch.

And then it was the sudden urge to pee. And pee again, but that time almost not making it. Then you burned the bacon and now your house smells like shit. And then! Then your newly painted fingernails — one broke. You just wanted a lazy good morning. And Now too many pants are not buttoning. And you’re frustrated, irritable, and in a not great mood.

Happiness is making you gain weight, and you really didn’t want to buy more clothes. But you wanted to remain happy. And in love. And, “What are you looking at?” Your words come out a bit harsher than you intended, and you regret the tone immediately, “I’m sorry.”

“Doe, what’s wrong?” You point over towards the bed, and Andy gives it an odd look. “You’re getting rid of some very nice jeans?”

“No,” you frown as you just reach for some fucking leggings. You weren’t going to try on and fail to button another pair. Not in front of Mr. Perfect Body. Good lord, his body is magnificent. Especially when it’s moving inside yours. You hadn’t gained that much weight. You’re probably just bloated. It’s all water weight. “We’re eating out too much.”

“Once a week?”

“We’re — we’re just — ugh! When I’m happy I tend to cook and bake more, and the result is the jeans not being able to button. So starting today, I’m not going to be snacking as much. And no matter what you say, I won’t be getting one more bite of cake,” that is that. Little changes could make the biggest difference.

“I don’t think…”

“Andy Barber, I know I’m getting older, and my metabolism isn't as quick as it used to be, so I don’t need to hear your excuses,” you bend over to roll the leggings up your legs. It’s fine. You feel fine. You didn’t even care because Andy didn’t seem to mind, and you are so very happy. Leggings and an oversized sweatshirt sound like heaven on a day like today.

“That’s not what I was going to say. I just think you should…”

“We’re going to add some more volume foods. I’ve just got to stop with the extra slice of bread,” he shakes his head no as he smiles and walks towards you, “And I’m going to quit napping so much. I want us to go on a walk every day with the kids. We can take the stroller if they get tired. But I need more movement in my life. If you can go swimming every morning, then I can walk every evening, but I don’t want to walk alone.”

“Honey,” Andy holds his hand over your mouth, using his piercing blue eyes to stare at you in the most intense way that it almost makes you uncomfortable. “Can I speak?” you nod your head once, and Andy exhales slowly, “Will you take a pregnancy test for me?”

You shake your head while rolling your eyes, “Why?” His hand drops off your mouth, and you try and find the words to tell him it's just an impossibility, and not what either of you should be thinking about right now. You need a house to make a home. You wanted out of this house, and divorced before ever truly thinking about pregnancy. At least when you’re not in the moment of getting your back blown out. Andy had that ability. He starts fucking into you, and you want him him to fuck a baby in you.

“Because the likelihood of me ever carrying a child naturally is very slim to none and we’re just not ready for that.”

“Why not?” How is he so good? He’s not even arguing. He is having a conversation, and trying to understand.

“Because I’m still legally Mrs. Scott Huffman,” you retch. Why did you ever marry that buffoon? The only good thing he ever did for you was give you the most beautiful children. “And I want our own home.”

“And I have watched my cum leak out of you before I’m fingering back inside of you. It’s not a lack of trying. And look at the pants,” your eyes flare as you stare at him. “I’m just saying, what if you’re pregnant?”

“I’m not. I’ve had two kids already, I would know,” he nods his head, figuring that you are right because you were the expert in this situation. “And I just,” could your mood swings be pregnancy? You haven’t had a proper period since splitting with Scott. Stress always makes your cycle wonky. “No. Okay, I’m just not. It’s fine. I want to drink more water, I want to walk as a family, I want to change my diet, and I’ll be just fine, okay?”

“Honey, you’re right,” you gawk at him. Did he just admit to knowing you’ve gained weight? “I would like to start walking as a family, too. We always talk with the kids when we get home anyways, so why not talk and walk.”

“Good save, Andrew.”

“Wasn’t trying to save anything, Doe. I’m being honest,” you’re sure he was just trying to ease you off a ledge of emotions that you weren’t ready to dive into. You’re trying to keep your head above the water until the divorce. Until the custody hearing, and you know that you get more time with the kids than Scott does. You want them with you. Scott wants them with him as leverage. Sick bastard.

“Mama!” Suede rushes to your arms as you walk into the apartment. The apartment that isn’t baby proof at all since Taylor moved in. Ooh, you wonder how many times she’s had to tell Suede no, or hands off. Aesthetically everything here is very pleasing, and all of her Instagram followers agree. So much white. Perfect color for a toddler around.

Suede clings to your body, burying his face in your chest. He isn't scared, but you know the separation from you just sets him on edge. This divorce is causing so much unnecessary mental trauma for your children. But staying with Scott would have caused more. In order to have happy children, you need to be happy, “Did you guys have fun? Oh.”

Taylor finally makes her way into the living room with a giant box of Christmas decorations. You know because the box is very aptly labeled as such in the most perfect script writing. Ms. Perfect probably did that herself. “Where’s the cat?”

She shoots you an aggravated look as she opens the box. Scott sits on the couch rolling his eyes, but remains glued to whatever game is on television. Audrey’s bathroom break is taking a bit longer than usual. “She is at my mom’s since Suede has a little issue with her,” the stupid bitch rolls her eyes again, and you’re biting your tongue to remain centered and calm. Pickups and drop offs have started to upset your daughter’s stomach, so you remain cordial for her.

“Yeah, it sucks that cat dander just really makes breathing difficult for him,” he looks towards the box, and oohs at the ornaments that Taylor pulls out of there. Little boys always want things they shouldn’t have, and telling them no makes them want it more. She’s a fucking idiot.

“No!” Not only do you take a step back, and hold Suede tighter, but you also make the most annoyed face in the world, Andy steps in front of you. His natural role of protector queuing up, “No, I told you that you don’t touch my things,” you shoot a glance towards Scott, wondering if he really thought that ‘her things’ were appropriate around your kids. Scott can fuck off. They weren’t his kids. They were a product of his sperm.

“I have had to deal with him all weekend. I tried decorating their room, and he just wants to help, and he puts the ornaments in the wrong space. And I went in there, and he messed it up again.”

“Well, he is two,” you shrug. You take back every nice thing you ever said about Taylor, she’s a bitch, and number two on your eat shit list. “The tree in their playroom at home was there for them to mess up, or hide the ornaments as they pleased. They’re kids. Nothing is perfect with them around.”

“Yeah, and it looks like shit,” her voice is clipped, and you wonder if she’s ever used that tone with your sweet boy. Over something stupid, and it wasn’t perfect for her.

“Taylor, enough,” she huffs before spinning on her heels and stomping out of the room. You’ve seen your daughter do that a few times, and she’s almost five. “God, you see what you did. She’s been fighting with Suede all weekend.”

“Fighting with a two year old?” Andy asks before you can even respond. That was a perfect response. He’s just as protective of them as he is of you.

“She’s trying to make things look nice for the holidays. It’s a nice change compared to your need to wait until after Thanksgiving,” deep breath in. Deep breath out. You will kill him one day. “And don’t make a big deal out of this. Suede had a good time, didn’t you, buddy?” Suede shrugs, and keeps his face buried in your chest. But his hand slowly moves up to your cheek where his cute little hand starts to pet you. A slow and painful death will take Scott out of this world.

“I really don’t want a fight. But I do need to tell you that we’re taking the kids to Michigan for Thanksgiving,” that’s one way to tell him.

“Over my dead body. You don’t get to tell me where you’re taking them. I have to approve. Suede can’t handle a flight. How are you going to keep him occupied?” Suede can’t handle a flight. What would he even know what Suede could handle?

“My parents haven’t seen their grandchildren in a year. They miss them, and the kids miss them.”

Scott gives you an eat shit grin. You’re glad that Andy lets you deal with him as much as possible, choosing the best possible time to jump in, “Like he even remembers your parents,” a very slow and painful death.

You laugh, “They FaceTime the kids every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Buddy, you want to go get your backpack? Make sure your iPad is in there, okay?”

“Chess,” he walks wide, staying out of his father’s grasp, but of course Scott doesn’t see that. Doesn’t see the odd quirks Suede has in order to avoid him.

“The damn iPads. Why are you spending so much money on them? That’s not what my support is for,” what is the best way to get away with murder?

“It was actually my assistant district attorney that bought those for them. Ransom is quite fond of the kids, and I’m sure it’ll help Audi practice her courtroom homework.”

Scott blinks slowly twice, and you step in front of Andy only for him to cross back in front of you, “Do you have a problem with how I raise my daughter? Mine. I had to fuck her mom for her. That’s right, I fucked your girlfriend. They will never be yours.”

“Mommy?” Everyone turns towards Audrey. Her tears shimmer in the light as she looks only at you. Her lip quivers a moment, and you know you have just a few seconds to get her out of the audience of others before she starts to cry uncontrollably, “Mommy, my belly doesn’t feel good.”

“Come on, baby. Let’s get yours and Suedey’s things and go home,” Scott starts to say something, and you point your finger at him, shaking your head, “That’s enough,” and he doesn’t want to, but he keeps his fucking mouth shut.

“I’m getting a bit tired of you, Barber,” Andy cocks an eyebrow up. He isn’t going to say a word. You asked him not to when you left with Audrey and Suede. “She is a goddamn genius, and she needs to start now! She’s got an interview with the best school in the district, and I need her prepared.”

“They don’t usually test kindergarteners on how many people are in the jury box, Scotty.”

“You really are a prick, you know that?” Andy shrugs, keeping his sight more down the hall where the kids’ room was. If he looks at Scott, the control he’s proud to keep in check will diminish, and he won’t do anything to jeopardize your custody, “Just remember who…”

“I got it, your sperm made the kids. You won’t ever let me live that one down, and I’m man enough to not let it bother me. But can I give you some advice?”

“Parental advice from someone who isn’t a parent. This should be excellent,” Andy wonders what you ever saw in this tiny little man. Surely he wasn’t always this much of an asshole.

Scott leans back, and smiles up at Andy. Andy never turns his attention to Scott. He just wants to see you emerge from the hall with the kids, “I may not be the reason those kids are here, but I pay attention. I know that Audi gets an upset stomach when she knows that you and her mom are going to be around each other. She’s internalizing her anxiety. I know that Suede when he sees his mom he just wants to hold onto her, and he doesn’t even want to look at you. Doesn’t care much to spend any time with me when they reunite, it’s all about his mom. You may not be physically harming your kids, but the mental distraught you’re causing them will have lasting effects. Your soon to be ex-wife is being too kind to you, and only because she thinks that it will make the transition with her kids easier. I think both you and Taylor know that. I think Taylor’s care for those kids is dwindling. She’s becoming what she should be, a kid that is solely focused on herself. She’s using your money to give her some sort of fulfillment. She plays the role of a good step mom only to her instagram followers, and to her parents, but deep down they resent you because you have children, you're legally still married, and you’re so older than her.”

“Get out of my fucking house.”

Andy slowly blinks, and nods, “That’s my goal,” ignoring Scott, he heads down the hallway. He gives Audrey the biggest smile before the little girl rushes into his arms. “You ready to go, mademoiselle?”

“Yes,” looking at her mom, she giggles. “Are you?”

“I am,” picking up Suede, you follow Andy out of the bedroom, and Scott clears his throat. You just want to get back home, so you can cuddle and love on your babies. It looks like they need extra attention.

“I want to speak to her privately,” Andy slightly shakes his head no, but you hand Suede over to him. And wait until the door to the apartment closes before you cross your arms, and jut your hip out, “I don’t want your boyfriend back here.”

“You don’t get to make those calls. Is that all?”

“You’re making a mistake,” of all the stupid nonsensical things he could say. “I am trying to be kind to you.”

“Kind? What about you is trying to be kind? Saying that I won’t lose my baby weight? Saying I’m used up, and old? Maybe it’s the cruelty you show our children? Or maybe it’s because our court hearing is soon, and you’re scared shitless? I bet that’s what it is,” of course it’s what it is. After the hearing he knows that he won’t be able to hold things over your head. In fact, he probably knows how much you have against him, and his precious Taylor.

“You let him raise our children,” you scoff. He really didn’t want to go there with you. Of course Andy is raising the kids, but he’s doing so with you as his partner. Just how it’s intended to be, “I don’t know what it is you want me to do.”

“I don’t know what it is you want me to do. Andy is a good man. Andy is present in my kids’ lives. He comes home to us every night. He helps around the house, he spends time with them, he is a good role model. And he’s a great man. What is your deal with Andy?”

“He’s a cocky asshole,” Scott had no room to talk. Andy was confident. Scott was arrogant.

“I figured the two of you would get along then,” he rolls his eyes, starting to stand up and walk towards the kitchen. “Is the real problem that I moved on?”

“I thought you would always be there for me,” he’s joking. This fool is seriously joking. How does one move on from seeing the babysitter bounce on top of your husband’s cock, and one you didn’t even particularly like? “Did you think I actually wanted to be here in this small apartment away from my family? I made a mistake, and you won’t give me any time to plead for forgiveness. You moved on to the fucking DA. You knew what you were doing, and it was just to piss me off. We were going to — I’m pissed off because I thought we would eventually work things out,” you hear a bedroom door slam shut before Taylor stomps out of the apartment, and slams the front door. “See what you did?”

“This has been an exhilarating conversation, Scott. But you did that. I had no intentions of getting back with you, nor you me. If you could admit that you did what you did because you thought you would get away with it, and you thought we’d get back together, and you could have your perfect family, while fucking the perfect body, we’d be better off. I don’t want you. I think it’s been many years since I have wanted you. And that is the only thing I’ll ever apologize to you for. I hung on for too long for our kids, but the man that I have always wanted, I now have. Send us the details to Audi’s party, and go fix your girlfriend if you want to keep her.”

“Can you stop calling her that?” You furrow your brows, not fully understanding what he was getting at. “Her name is Audrey. Suede’s name is Suede. Not Suedey, not buddy. Quit babying them,” okay. You need to leave before you say something you truly regret. He wasn’t going to tell you what you should or should not call your children. “I don’t want them to be in Michigan for the holiday.”

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” he obviously had something planned with them if he didn’t want you and Andy to take them to see your parents.

Scott looks in the distance, refusing to answer, mumbling something before, “I’m taking Taylor to Cancun,” he’s serious. He wants you to stay here while he takes his trophy girlfriend to Cancun. You hope all the men there can’t stop staring at Taylor who is always seeking validation from other men. You hope Scott feels as little as he makes you feel.

“And we’re going back to my parents’, Scott. Have a good day,” he can groan and complain all he wants to. If he can take his pretty little girlfriend on vacation, you’re going back to Michigan, and spending time with your family. You would almost have reconsidered, if he was going to be here. If he wanted to spend time with the kids, you would have stayed behind. He wasn’t going to bully you. He wasn’t going to tell you what your kids could do, or what Suede was capable of.

You’ll give him a backpack with plenty of snacks and toys, and Scott Huffman could fuck off. You’re not sure what has come over you concerning him, but you’re done. You don’t care about his feelings or Taylor’s. You don’t care to make sure if they’re comfortable. You just didn’t care.

You huff as you get into the car, and bend your hand backwards for Audrey to hold. Andy doesn’t say anything, he just puts the car into drive. You let your mind wander a bit. Not even about Scott, you didn’t care anymore. You wander to a moment when you, Andy, and your kids didn’t have to deal with that anymore. A moment where you will wake up and everyone you love is under the same roof always. It may be a dream in the future, but you have no doubt that eventually Scott will give you full custody. He truly was using your babies as leverage, and that pisses you off more than the fact he thought shoving his cock in some young whore could ever be forgivable.

But with a gentle squeeze from Audrey, you remember that all the pain of seeing him with Taylor was worth it. You don’t care how long he was sleeping with Taylor. You don’t care if he had any feelings for her then or even now. The only thing you remotely cared about is if your children saw them being romantic in any capacity. Scott and Taylor could eat rocks for all you cared. You just hope your children never saw them fucking.

Your mind focuses on the road in front of you, and you look over to Andy confused. “Where are we going? This isn’t the way home,” this is the complete opposite of home, and Andy’s smile guarantees he’s up to something. “Andy!”

Audrey giggles in the background. Her chubby little hand removes from yours, and she covers her mouth, while Suede grabs both his now shoeless feet as he smiles at you, “Ho, NaNa.”

“Did my baby just call you a ho, Andy Barber?”

“No,” the speed of the car gets slower as he turns onto a small road. “He said, home,” your heart beats rapidly as you see a beautiful house come into view, surrounded by so much land. All this space, and you gasp as you look at him. “Well, we all have to agree,” Andy puts the car into park. Holding up his hand, he lets a single key on a key ring dangle from his finger. “Shall we go look at it?”

Your mouth spreads into the widest grin as you nod your head. Jumping out of the car to get Audrey out of her seat, and Andy grabs Suede. Holding onto your shoeless monster, while everyone runs to the front door squealing. “It’s a bit large. But Linda Drysdale found it. It’s not officially been listed, but the asking price is just too good. There is enough for Suede and Audrey to have their own room, and then — some. Full size and finished basement for a play area, and,” opening up the door he sets Suede down, and both kids dart past you screaming as they run through a mostly empty house. “The master bedroom is phenomenal. There’s a great pantry. Garage. We’d be secluded, so the kids can have space to play and have swings.”

He keeps talking, but you’re just taking everything in. It’s perfect. Right down to the color scheme. It’s almost textbook the house that you and Andy talked about getting when you were silly kids in love looking through Pinterest. The space. The way that your kids are just giggling and laughing. The way that this actually feels like home. More of a home than whatever you and Scott attempted to make.

“Doe?” You spin around to face Andy, but he’s lower on the floor. Audrey leans up against him, while Suede is standing in between his arms, and your ring up in Andy’s hand. It wasn’t just a normal ring. It was the ring. The one that you and him jokingly went shopping for when he was eighteen and you were seventeen. A ring you knew he could never afford, but it was fun to pretend. It still was the perfect ring, and even prettier than you remembered.

“Honey, will you marry me?”

“Chess, mama!”

“Mommy, say yes! Andy asked for permission.”

Oh god. He asked your babies for their permission. This ridiculous man remembered everything. All of it. He is too perfect with your babies surrounding him. Letting them be just as much a part of this proposal as him. Because they are always in the equation. He thought of everything. “Mommy!”

“Yes. Yes!” You drop down to your knees with him. Crowding Suede and Audrey as you try to find his lips. Sealing everything with a kiss. “Give me two good reasons.”

“I can start with three,” Andy whispers against your lips. “Audrey, Suede, and you,” he’s too precious for words. Sometimes it isn’t about the time lost that made the difference, it’s the time now. You spent too many years trying to recreate Andy. But in those years away from him you both did some growing up. But the thing that remained was a true undying love for this man, and your family.

“Mama, we ho!”

“Yes, buddy. We’re home,” you can’t even see properly with the tears that cloud your eyes. First a home. A place to set down your roots. Your forever home with Andy. And then what he’s promised since you were seventeen. That he was going to marry you.

“Mommy! I want the bedroom with the princess window.”

“Me, too. Me oom!” Both kids spring towards the stairs again.

“Don’t run, guys,” Andy says calmly, and they immediately walk instead. They listen to him so well, “Shall we check out the rooms they picked out?”

“Andy, this is too much.”

“No, it’s priced to sell. Linda got us a great deal, and your name will be on the deed as well. If you love this house as much as me and the kids, it’s ours. What do you say?”

You look down to your left hand smiling. It was a stupid morning made right with the most perfect thing you could think of. “Let’s check out our new home,” you answer. Pulling at your fiancé’s arm as you walk towards the stairs. “What about the inspection?”

“Everything is perfect. There’s a little bit more that needs to be done in the basement. But other than that, it’s fully functional. Wires, plumbing, electricity, they all are perfect. After you, my love. I think Audrey and Suede have found their rooms. And there’s plenty more to grow,” plenty more to grow. You like the sound of that.

“What is all this shit?” Audrey’s smile fades quickly as she looks at her father, and Taylor drops her hand. “She’s five years old, it isn’t even that big of a deal,” Taylor marches into the kitchen laying another bag onto the counter, “Audrey, go in the bedroom, and take a nap with Suede. It took him forever to go to sleep.”

“I don’t take naps.”

“Audrey!”

Frowning Audrey stomps her food, “I didn’t even want a birthday party anyways!” Before stomping off into her shared bedroom with Suede, and Scott grabs his head growling. Her outbursts need to stop. They are getting out of control because he can’t give her whatever she wants like you and Andy.

”She was excited about today, and you had to open your big mouth! These are the goody bags that you said you liked. So this is what I ordered,” her movements in the kitchen are harsh, and loud, and it grates on Scott’s everlasting nerves. First his daughter’s temper tantrum, and now her.

“You’ve been in such a pissy mood ever since…”

“I heard you tell your wife that you wanted to get back together,” Taylor interrupts. She knows he’s going to have some line that differs from what she knew. What she actually heard him say. It hurt her. Especially since Scott wasn’t even the perfect catch himself. He had baggage for one. But he was amazing in bed. And then the allowance started.

She didn’t want to be a mom. Every other weekend is fine. But he claims to want more time. She knows he doesn’t want more time with his kids. It’s his need for power. A power she sometimes feeds off of. She used to feed off it all the time. His power was addicting. The men her age didn’t have that. They didn’t have the money or smarts either.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” because that makes her feel better. When the kids aren’t here he’s a different man. They stressed him out because they couldn’t be controlled. Especially not Suede. When he’s awake he is nonstop moving and playing. Always asking questions you couldn’t understand, always getting in your face, always needing attention, always needing help to go to the bathroom. Everything that Scott wasn’t willing to give because it wasn’t his job.

It’s not her fucking job either. They’re his kids. And while they’re cute, it’s annoying that he didn’t want to help at all. She didn’t even know if she wanted kids. She had no desire to remove her IUD, or even tell him about it. Making a mistake on something she felt was more temporary isn’t part of her plan. Not that any of this was. He was cute, and he gave her attention, and that’s as far as her vision went.

“That’s not really how I feel,” it is just easier to ignore Scott’s words. He’d always talk himself into a corner anyways. “She just infuriates me so much. You don’t see the way she prances around with her new boy toy.”

“Fiancé,” she tells him, continuing to move about just so she doesn’t have to look at him.

“Excuse me?” The vitriol in his voice pisses her off. He had no right to be pissed off that she was engaged. Taylor would fuck Andy, too, if given the chance.

“Do you ever listen to your kids?” Scott shrugs. Of course he didn't listen to them, why should he? Usually they were someone else’s problem. And as of late they were her problem, and she couldn’t even do the fun things with Audrey because Suede had to be there, and he was limited. Scott didn’t like having Suede alone either. But today. Audrey was going to have the best birthday. She doesn’t know why his mom couldn’t have withheld him from the party for a couple of hours. She would be selfish like that. Audrey deserves to have the best party without the limitations her brother’s allergies set.

It’s the reason why she wanted their mom to be there so hopefully Suede would beg to go home, like he always did. And she could play dress up with Audrey. Maybe get manis and pedis. She likes Audrey. Suede she didn’t connect with, and she’s sure he doesn’t much care for her either. “Suede and Audrey both told you they got engaged. Audrey even said they’re moving into a new house.”

“What?” His jaw unhooks, and she knows that he has been emasculated again by Andy. “What do you mean they got a new house?”

“NaNa mama ho,” Taylor answers, annoyed, and Scott shakes his head confused, “Andy bought his mama a home. And Audrey clarified it by saying she has a room with lots of windows, and it’s her princess room.”

“Audrey doesn’t like princesses. Audrey likes the law. She lives in reality.”

“OH MY GOD!” Taylor screams agitated. “She’s a child. She is just five years old. Audrey’s likes to do what other normal five year olds do, and that includes princesses.”

“Audrey!” Taylor rolls her eyes, and starts to pack up the things from the house. Her and Audrey can go to the event center early to set up, and Scott can bring Suede later. She’s already annoyed at him. “Audrey Elise Huffman, come here right now!”

Pompous asshole. Audrey comes into the room, now wearing her Madeline dress and Mary Janes that her mom bought for her for the party. The hat in her hand, and her right foot fiddles around a bit, while she struggles to not grimace at her father. “You guys moved?”

“No. No, not yet,” Scott doesn’t see, but Suede lingers in the hallway. Probably peeing on himself since he won’t ask to go to the bathroom. “Um, Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…”

“Breathe, Audi,” Taylor says softly, and the little girl takes a deep breath, but her father asserts his authority by putting his hands on his hips. “Go on.”

“We take some things there everyday. But we still sleep at home. D-Andy had someone paint my pri — my room,” of course she would change what she called her room. She’s in front of her father. But she told Taylor that her bedroom was a soft pink.

“What’s your favorite thing to play?” Scott asks, thinking he’s going to trick her.

“Bocks.”

“Suede, I wasn’t talking to you,” Audrey furrows her brow, and holds out a hand for her brother, but he growls, and turns to go back where he came from. Taylor knows that none of those kids apart from their last name belong to Scott. “Audrey?”

“I like to draw. And do adding,” Taylor wonders if Scott ever took the time to look at Audrey’s sketch books to see in between every drawing of a courtroom was unicorns, or mushrooms with faces. “Are Andy and Mommy coming today?”

“Chess. Andy, mama. Me ho!” He makes a bunch of loud noises in his bedroom, and Taylor bites her tongue because that means she has another mess to clean.

“Ugh,” Scott groans. He needs a nap. “Yeah, Suede get dressed,” a two year old get dressed by himself. Yeah, Taylor already sees where this is going, and walks away from Scott and to the kids room to get Suede dressed. Accessories are all they are to him. If she were to be asked, she’d tell the court that their mom deserved them. One day with the kids was enough for Taylor, but even their father couldn’t stand to truly be around them for more than an hour. It’s why he always left. Or why he made an excuse to be in his office. Why he came home late. She’s biding her time until after she goes on vacation. She never could have afforded it alone.

“They rented this for a five year old?” Ransom asks. It was a bit ostentatious for a child’s birthday party. I’m sure that Taylor’s Instagram will look fabulous today.

“They had to have the space for the bounce houses,” Ransom looks in the backseat at you. Sweet angel child, this is how Scott would have your children grow up, lacking a sense of child wonderment. “They’re these blow up things, and you can bounce and hop on them. Andy, I did get Suede’s inhaler, right?”

“Yep,” he could exert so much energy on those things, you hope that he was breathing okay. Or even that the adults were paying attention to how his lungs are working. “Doe, we’re not that late. You said you didn’t want to intrude on their birthday party.”

Being late didn’t even bother you. The less time you spend around him the better off you are, “I just can’t help but,” you didn’t want to say it, but something felt off. There’s a sinking feeling in your gut, and you’re trying to ignore it. But it is screaming. Blaring inside of your heart. “Andy, something’s wrong.”

He shakes his head no, but the moment the car is in the spot, you jump out of the car. Trying to remain calm, but your skin is crawling. Every hair on your body is prickled up, and all you hear is laughing and music. Your chest heaves as you walk towards the entrance, with Andy and Ransom jogging on your heels.

Going in the building you scan everywhere. Your smiling girl gives you a wave from one of the bounce houses, but no Suede. There is too much noise. Too many people. Too many kids. Too much going on. Scott sits with a group of men, and Taylor’s bouncing around like an idiot on the slide with the group of men watching her. Pigs. Everyone is accounted for. But…

”Andy, where’s Suede?” He goes off one way, while Ransom goes another, and you walk into the belly of the too many people like a wild woman. Your head whips back and forth as the bad feeling festers deeper in your bones. You want to vomit. Where’s your baby?

This isn’t right. There’s something wrong. He stays with Audrey, and none of those kids were him. Who were all these fucking kids? Who were all these men? Your throat is so dry. Fear doesn’t creep up, it swallows you whole. Taking every last bit of breath from your body. You didn’t see him. Couldn’t hear him. He always sees you first.

“Suede!” Nononononononononono. “Suedey! Baby, no!” The roar of the event center changes as you scoop up your baby from the floor. “Fucking macarons. There’s eggs in here. Oh my god. Andy! Oh my god, he’s not breathing!”

You can’t even hold your hand steady as you try to get the EpiPen out of your bag. “He’s not breathing. No no no,” the color of his skin is all wrong, and tinged purple. How long has he been here? My god you hate them. Hate both of them. You asked for one fucking thing.

You jab the pen into his leg, and open up his mouth. Scooping out the bit of cookie he couldn’t swallow. “Suedey, baby, mommy’s here. Come on, baby,” Ransom is already on the phone with 911, and you can’t focus on anything but the blurry baby in your arms. Your tears stain your cheeks, and make it impossible to see properly, “Suede! Suede, mommy needs you to take a breath.”

He’s so cold. He is too small, and doesn’t seem right. This is supposed to be a fun day. It could have been. Keep allergens away from Suede. That’s how you prevent this. “Suede, buddy, breathe for mommy,” holding a hand over his chest, you can’t think, you just do, and lay him on the floor to breathe for him.

“Mommy!” You want to comfort her, but you can’t. Suede needs oxygen. You took his allergies seriously, and learned everything there was to know in case of an emergency. “Mommy, he’s not dying,” Ransom scoops Audrey up in his arms, walking away with her kicking and screaming. He knows you don’t have time to deal with her comfort right now.

There are times you have to pick and choose your children, and right now Suede wasn’t conscious. Beat by beat. Pressure by pressure, you keep filling his lungs with oxygen, while you press onto his chest. Sounds that a mother should never experience inhabit your body as his chest cracks, but you just want air to move into his body.

“Come on, baby. Mommy loves you and she needs you,” come on. Take a breath. You need to see that he is capable. You can’t give up hope. It may be the swelling of his throat constricting his breathing. But the EpiPen will do what it needs to do. You have faith. He is okay.

It isn’t a breath as much as it is a gurgled cry, but it’s enough to see his skin starting to change back. “There you go, baby,” his blood shot eyes open up, and he stares at you so confused, and hurting. “Hey, Suedey. Mommy’s here. I’m right here, baby.”

He moves his mouth with no sound coming out, but you don’t care. He’s alert enough to see you. He looks around at everyone crowding him, but he’s back to you in a second. You pet along his face, crying and smiling, unable to focus or breathe yourself. Exhaustion overcomes you, but your baby is breathing.

“You son of a bitch!” You can’t even process that Andy is screaming, you just see this sweet little boy who is so scared and confused. “One fucking thing! She asked you one goddamn thing and that was that he could have everything here! That was it. You and your child of a girlfriend are deadbeats. You could have killed him!”

“Hey, baby,” you coo at him. Keeping him focused on you and not the fight that’s ensuing behind you.

“Mama,” his voice hurts so much, but it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard. “Mama,” he’s okay. He’s not perfectly fine, but he’s okay.

”I know buddy. We have to wait for the ambulance. You and mommy are going on a ride.”

“My daddy,” his eyes circle around, looking for his father.

“He’s,” a piece of shit. He will never have your son with him alone ever again. You didn’t care if he ever saw Suede ever again. He didn’t deserve his son. His son meant nothing to him. He allowed those stupid cookies here, and couldn’t keep an eye on him.

“NaNa my daddy,” you wipe the tears and snot off your face. Andy can be his daddy. Scott didn’t deserve it. “My daddy NaNa.”

“Andy,” your voice is a croak, and he won’t hear it over his berating of Scott, but you didn’t have the energy to even try. “Andy.”

“You’re a sorry piece of shit, Scott, and you’re fucking idiot,” he defeatedly says as he walks over to you. “Suedey, buddy, you scared us,” this took ten years off of your life.

“Daddy. My daddy,” Andy looks over towards you, and you just nod your head. “Tong.”

“Yes, buddy, you’re so strong. Those sirens are for you. I’m going to check on Audi, okay?”

“Otay,” his little hand tries to give him a thumbs up, and Andy kisses your temple. He gives Suede a thumbs up back, as he stands up, ready to get Audrey.

“I’ll — you want me to bring Audi to the hospital?” No. She’s traumatized enough as it is. “Ransom said he can take her to his grandpa’s for a few hours.”

“Okay,” it’s the bad thing about not having friends here. But Ransom is a start. Didn’t hesitate to do what needed to be done. He took care of it all, while a part of you died inside. You have no feelings towards Scott, he’s dead to you. You struggled to ask for sole custody, but you aren’t struggling anymore.

You hear him saying your name, but ignore him. You are numb to him. That man has done the worst things to you, but purposefully being negligent to your child is unforgivable.

“He’s had an EpiPen?” You nod your head to the paramedic, and Suede squeezes your hand a bit tighter. “You ready to go for a ride? We’re going to make sure everything is okay.”

“Me tong,” Suede whispers out, and you finally smile.

“You’re the strongest little buddy I know,” and he is. You’ve never seen a two year old be as resilient as him. The way he is trying to smile despite whatever his little body is screaming. You know he’s in pain. Know that he’s hurting so bad, but he’s okay. Scott says your name again, and you don’t even look.

“Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“No, I’m not married. I’m engaged to…”

“My daddy. Mine,” Suede taps his chest, and you want to hold him and squeeze him. It might be a long way in the distance, but it is something Andy has hinted at. He’d adopt your kids. It’d be a process, but it’d get Scott out of child support. It would take the responsibility off his shoulders, and Andy would take it all. You don’t want a conversation. You want Scott to disappear, and let you and your kids move on with a man that loves and enjoys all of you.

They lift Suede up on the gurney, and he reaches for your hand, looking more scared now than before. “They’re not taking you from me, baby.”

“Doe, I’ll meet you at the hospital, honey,” you collapse in Andy’s embrace. Trying to absorb his strength before you get into the ambulance with Suede.

“My daddy,” you step up into the ambulance with him.

“Yeah, buddy, I’m your daddy,” Suede smiles at Andy before the doors are closed. And Andy walks towards the car.

“Barber!”

“Scott, how long was he out?” Scott shakes his head. The bastard didn’t even know. “I’m going to say this as nice as I know how, but you’re a sorry piece of shit. You didn’t care about Suede, and that proves it! You let that girl bring fucking eggs in the party, and you as the parent didn’t watch to see if he was getting into it. Do you believe he has allergies now? My fiance had to breathe life back into her baby! She saved our son’s life.”

“He’s my son!”

“By blood. That’s all you have. He’s my son by choice. His choice and mine. Suede could have died, and you’re too busy trying to have a pissing contest with me. I’m going to the hospital to comfort my fiance and son, and we’re going to pick up my daughter, and we’re going to go home,” Scott growls, showing more emotion with the mention of Audrey being Andy’s daughter than Suede’s.

“You’re an insufferable asshole that plays favorites. Don’t call. Don’t text. We’ll see you in court,” Andy slings his door open before he gets in. He meant what he said. That was it. Andy would make sure that the law was thrown at Scott. Because of his negligence Suede nearly lost his life. He’s finished playing nice. Fuck Scott Huffman.

Today, Andy Barber is a father.

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