#I think I said too much | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-bloody-sadist · 2 years ago

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So I stumbled on to your blog while looking at bsd fanart (just started watching it) and I’ve just gotta say a couple things.

One, holy ever loving shit are you an excellent artist. The anatomy, the facial expressions, the poses and emotions they evoke. Straight up ineffable (positive).

Two, I’m a pretty goddamn repressed person (I’ve literally never even watched porn because I grew up with a super religious influence) and I took my sexuality out behind the woodshed and tried to murder it with a baseball bat at a very young age. So, as you can imagine, I was legitimately horrified when I started scrolling. But I couldn’t (and didn’t want to) look away. It’s just straight up fascinating. The exploration of feelings both physical and emotional, the dynamics between people, the horrific situations explored in the safe environment of art. I’m just sitting here awestruck.

Anyway, just wanted to stop by and say your art is the entirety of the human experience condensed into bite sized pieces ok bye ☺️

I need. I need a PRINTER. I need to print this OUT so I can HANG IT ON MY MIRROR TO MOTIVATE ME EVERY MORNING. HOLY HELL THANK YOU SO MUCH?! THIS IS LITERALLY THE EXACT PURPOSE OF ALL MY ART?

Okay okay, calming down and straightening my tie here so I can reply with dignity: I grew up in this similar way as well, religiously influenced and severely repressed. My family has zero understanding of trauma, depression, or basically any real human emotion. All they know is toxic positivity and "righteous" anger. This is not Sadist trauma dump time so I'll spare you, but I am who I am and I draw what I draw all because of this sterile upbringing.

Currently my main passion is not for the porn or the sex, but for the horror of love and the crushing weight of complicated feelings. It's in its most raw form to me when it occurs between naked bodies, plus naked men are very attractive to draw so there's also the art aspect. LMAO.

However, I'm also a trauma-induced asexual so I feel like that plays a part in my art and writing as well. I am addicted to depicting my greatest fears and worst experiences.

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY AND I HOPE YOU STAY FOREVER. You're my favorite kind of audience. My family was never awestruck or affected in the least by anything I worked my ass off to create so it's a nice change to have strangers react on such a scale.

Much love to you <3

#I will die now #I think I said too much #but who cares I'm feeling zesty and reckless #sadist’s answered asks #sadist's sweet askers #sadist rambling challenge

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writebackatya · 1 year ago

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3, 4, 10, 17, 74!!!

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

I usually love to write on my laptop. I don’t really take notes that often but it’s something I trying to learn to do

Usually I’ll rewatch episodes featuring whatever characters I’m writing for as a way to refresh my memory. As well as compilations for those moments where I’m like “But how would they say it?” I also like to watch clips of the other roles the character’s actors have been in to compare the two. And when that’s not enough I like to watch clips of other characters that remind me of whatever character I’m writing for

I love to listen to music. Most of the times it’s stuff with lyrics but whenever I feel like I REALLY need to focus I listen to lo-fi. And if you ever see a song lyric posted before or after a story I wrote, that means I listened to that while writing that story

Also you know the YouTube channel Epic Rap Battles of History? You know where there’s a rap battle with both historical and fictional people that made their impact on history? Well I’m a fan of their stuff and not to mention some of the ERB inspired channels. Anyway, I love writing a lot of back-and-forth in my stories and listening to that type of music helps. And just hearing two or more fictional/non-fictional people just going at it at one another just really helps

Sometimes I drink Bang when I got a clear evening where I wanna do nothing but write

And yeah I do occasionally smoke weed. It works to varying results

And then bada-boom it’s done. Like three weeks later than I thought it would but it’s done

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Usually my stories always come from a character interaction I wanna see happen or jokes I just really wanna do with the characters

Other times they come from songs I love that remind me of a character or characters. And I just wanna capture why exactly it reminds me of them

And sometimes. New ideas form when I’m working on something else. I hate that.

10. Ctrl-f “blinks” on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that come up

…Well this is embarrassing. Not a single one of my WIPs have the word “blinks”

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult?

I usually like to take a walk around my neighborhood whenever that happens. I usually listen to music. And if my fic has a song paired with it I usually like to listen to that song at least once on the walk

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Puns. Snarky lines. A lot of back-and-forth between characters. References to Disney stuff, the Simpsons (which is technically Disney I guess), ITYSL, or parody/spoof movies. Character learning that they’re overthinking a problem in their head.

#I think I said too much #get to know your fic writer!#chuckleyellow #writebackatya

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mynnthia · 6 months ago

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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kabru #kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him #what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes #bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him #and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good #even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here #but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online #(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline #mynn.txt #dm text #crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so

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aroaceleovaldez · 9 months ago

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Nico referring to his mom as "Mama" implies he most likely at least used to refer to Hades as "Papa" and i 100% headcanon he still does but mostly in the manner of him having the entire Underworld wrapped around his finger for being the baby of the family

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #headcanon #my art #nico flexing youngest child privilages by pulling out the most pitiful expression he can manage #anyways i find it fun to explore character word choices #cause yknow no two characters are going to select their words the same way #or even necessarily think about it to the same degree #i like to think Nico thinks about his word choice a lot #so of course every time he uses ''papa'' he fully knows he's pulling the Baby Of The Family card #Hades definitely knows this too but falls for it every time anyways #cause Nico hasnt called him ''papa'' regularly since getting his memory wiped - just detached ''father'' or at best ''dad''#so it just reminds Hades of How Much He Just Wants His Children To Be Happy Like The Old Days #and how much poor Nico has been through and he's just the baby of the family and-#cue Nico smugly staring at the camera cause he knows how much power he holds #also i say Nico is Hades' only son cause mythologically even when Zagreus *is* Hades' son (rarely) he's. dead.#a major part of Zagreus' mythology is that he died #and im p sure every other deity said to be Hades' children are all goddesses and also are like 50% of the time not his #theres also only like 3 of them. and as far as we know in riordanverse canon one of them is implied to not be his daughter #so Nico is Hades' only son and also youngest in the family (cause Hazel is older by a month chronologically or 1 year biologically)#(and everybody else is a deity if children of hades at all)

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lucabyte · 4 months ago

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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks #hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature #ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual #isat spoilers #isat #isat fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #lucabyteart #RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete #they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot

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knightofleo · 2 months ago

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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2

#in anticipation of the incoming remake #i tried my best to imitate the SH font but #silent hill #silent hill 2 #angela #angela orosco #theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game #for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001 #and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela #not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this #actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too #“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well #maybe even old videogame tropes too #“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this #and in doing so showing it so much respect #then angela just leaves #and you never see her again #i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said #this isn't your problem to fix #this is where your part in this story ends #there's some strength in that

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redysetdare · 7 months ago

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enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #loveless aro #loveless #non-partnering #nonpartnering #non partnering #nonamorous #aplatonic #enough of amatonormative tropes in media!!! enough 'you're miserable without love' stories!!!#less “you're too focused on ambitions to make you happy that you dont let yourself fall in love”#more “you're too focused on finding love to make you happy that you wont let yourself live”#more “there is so much more to life than love and so much more that can bring your happiness if you just let yourself experience it.”#maybe I should write this story #and when i say love i mean all love. not just romantic love.#which is why i tagged aplatonic too #while i mostly see this trope in terms of romantic love i think there's something to be said about #telling stories where people are perfectly content alone too #it doesn't have to be sad or pathetic to not have friends by choice. they dont have to be a miserable person to not have friends #i think we need more variety in stories where it shows people just content in their lack of love or relationships in all shapes #not everyone wants a family not everyone wants friends not everyone wants a partner not everyone wants love #some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.

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juniemunie · 5 months ago

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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

#junie art post #ink sans #error sans #utmv #errorink #implied. but yea not the focus #this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word #we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more #isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad #and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out #we put it away. abandon and leave it behind #what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating #yea that never left me #and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH #imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse #mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life #but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant #but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao #ahhh my favorite idiots. never change #mmmmm #deltarune

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the-great-papyru · 18 days ago

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i think the thing a lot of papyrus takes get wrong is that they forget that, among other things, papyrus is funny. in my experience writing papyrus, i often find the most funny line is the most in-character one. an unfunny papyrus doesn’t ever feel like an accurate papyrus to me. it’s more than part of the game, it’s part of his character. and disregarding that is what messes up a lot of otherwise good impressions of him.

#the same can be said for sans too #the biggest issue with the 2015 fandom interpretation (besides shipping him with a child) was that he was way too serious all the time.#sans actually made me crack up several times during the genocide route #i lost it at “cool mutant hand”#also regarding papyrus #even back when innocent naive papyrus was a thing he wasn’t funny #and this is honestly a big problem considering how deeply intertwined humor is with undertale’s narrative #looking at you chara “laughed it off” dreemurr #toriel “laughs as she dies” dreemurr #sans and papyrus “always smiling” undertale #that one smiling npc in snowdin yeah i didn’t forget about you #seriously gotta stop putting half the post in the tags again this is getting ridiculous #undertale #papyrus #sans #character analysis #not much of one but i think it’s worth the tag

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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k1tty5 · 2 months ago

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another design for the au i’m working on (cough cough thinking about)

#my art #pearlescentmoon fanart #pearlescentmoon #trafficblr #these designs—especially this one—aren’t really thaat different to my normal ones (or even just the canon skins lol)#because i’m very attached to a lot of the elements in them pfhdgdn. whoopsiesss.#I said “thinking about” but I have actually written 2k words for a fic of this au so far and have a bunch of notes and stuff. but um.#i’m not too sure if i’ll ever post any of my writing anywhere because its. it feels much more vulnerable than i’m normally comfortable with #maybe eventually. but it seems. VERY anxiety inducing to me.#sphynx LIFE au

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badxwolf · 1 year ago

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"[Russell T Davies] made Rose an equal, not a sidekick. It is she who, on several occasions, saves the Doctor, rather than the other way round. As any parent with a daughter, I now look at Esme and think 'you could be the Doctor'. In 2005, as recently as that, such a thought would have been a pipe dream.

[Rose is] a woman with an independent mind, willing to confront received wisdom. Rose arrives on screen fully formed, one of the strongest female characters of any show, any year, painting a solid line directly to Jodie Whittaker.

If you think about it, the relaunch in 2005 was actually the first chance to create the first female Doctor. Why not do it then? Perhaps we should be looking back on Billie Piper not as Rose, but as the Doctor."

- Christopher Eccleston in his memoir I Love The Bones Of You

#i cannot find words to articulate how profoundly this affected me #i think all i can say is THIS is why i love rose. this is why she means so much to me.#he gets it. he gets her.#and he gets thirteen too #also the fact that he's said jodie is his favourite doctor <3 #i love him aah #christopher eccleston #ninth doctor #rose tyler #billie piper #jodie whittaker #thirteenth doctor #doctor who

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jasminebythebay · 3 months ago

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aquarium park 🐠🦑🐟

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #i think aquarium park is one of the most beautifully designed stages to have come out of the sonic franchise #the soundtrack? the vibes? the inspirations? immaculate #that being said this piece took 10 years off my life and made me want to die #stupid fucking coral and garbage ass composition and too much detail in every single element #fuck 3 point perspective i hate 3 point perspective #if i have to work on this any longer i might snap my own fingers

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goodmorrowing · 2 years ago

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I’ve realized that many men don’t see misogyny as a systemic thing. They think women are just angry about random things and “natural things”.Explains why they call it the "reality"(that they built mind you) for women to accept.

god, yes. it's such an issue because it's not realized as an issue (which could be said for most things!!) 😭 imo the biggest issue with systemic misogyny is that it continues to be TAUGHT. i don't think, if they weren't taught by the patriarchal foundations of society, men would wake up and think themselves higher than women — and if they did, women would have every piece of factual evidence and every right to put them in their place. however, that's not the case! i think we all know about the 83¢ (at the very most!) statistic, as well as the blatant disrespect of women that goes unnoticed and never dealt with. these things, among others, perpetuate patriarchy and misogyny and allows them not only to continue, but to THRIVE. men who are blatantly misogynistic have likely been surrounded by similar behavior for their entire lives, and they aren't given proper education to correct what the things they see are teaching them. hell, in their minds, they probably don't think there's anything keeping women from rising to the power of men in society (not realizing that it was built for them, by them) and their "choice" not to do so is what makes them weak. not the case, and while it's not our job to yell on deaf ears, i hope one day we can live in a world where education doesn't come from the highly privileged and how they fucked the system to work for them :(

#long post!!!#oops #i think i said too much #goodnight

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itslilacokay · 1 month ago

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oh would you look at that