#I think I represented most of what I listen to pretty well with these songs

[ivylag]

omg it's been so long since I've last encountered a tag game let alone been tagged in one :D

Lyran Dasz - helena's hood (German)

Tomoya Ohtani - windmill isle day

Tomoya Ohtani - flame core -volcano-

Dat Adam - MEEP MEEP (German)

Ghost - Respite on the Spitalfields

@ahamkaracature @queer-here-and-in-fear @bobthecoolrock @ace-aussie-asshole @gailhai1storm

✨ Put 5 songs you listen to, post it, then send this ask to 10 of your mutuals

Taken for a Ride - Tally Hall

Motions - Glass Beach

Motor City Mama - BreakTime

Cell - Cojum Dip

I’m Gonna Win - Rob Cantor

@thegoddesssekhmet @peppermint-3 @naviofortido @infinite-archive @actuallyjaiden @mell-150 @kafkaequerat333 @godofautism @sassy-piece-of-parsley @an-idiot-com

[cpvnksabm]

Things I Think RTC Did Well In Disability Rep (in 2016-2018 scripts)

exactly what it says in the title. i'm not touching on the pre-2016 scripts because i dont know enough about them and i'm not talking about the 2022 script changes for obvious reasons.

disclaimer, this is all my own opinion as one disabled person, other people may feel differently and that's fine.

Ricky's disability in general

Ricky is a young person who uses mobility aids. He can't talk, implicitly due to dysarthria. He has a degenerative disease, specifically a rare disease which is heavily implied to be neuromuscular. And it's stated outright that his disease is lifespan-limiting and that he's dealt with his own mortality in life.

And all of these things are very underrepresented!

I'm not going to claim that all of these things were explained perfectly or explored in detail in the canon. But just having them on-stage, in my opinion, is a big deal in itself. And it's also a big deal that Ricky is a main character, who has the same character depth as the abled characters, when so many characters like him are reduced to ableist props for other characters' story arcs.

I understand there's been some confusion about the specifics of ricky's disability, in the fandom. And I know part of the confusion comes from the fact that the script didn't explain everything, and glossed over most of the details. But honestly? The fact that so many RTC fans didn't initially understand parts of his disability - such as the fact that it's likely neuromuscular, or the fact that his inability to speak is implied to have a physical cause - just makes it more important that these things were represented on-stage in the first place. They're so underrepresented, little-known, and poorly-understood that many people don't pick up on them even when they are represented!

Just showing these underrepresented disabled experiences on-stage has potential to help a lot of disabled people feel seen, which matters.

Ricky as a victim of ableism

Okay, this one might be controversial, but i'm speaking from the heart here.

Ableism is a huge part of Ricky's backstory and character - the whole Zolar thing is stated to be a coping method to deal with isolation & cruelty. Throughout the musical Ocean infantilizes him in dialogue, and in her song she argues point-blank that he has no reason to be alive due to his disability. The rest of the choir aren't perfect either - sure, nobody else says anything ableist, but they're all bystanders to Ocean's overt ableism, nobody really holds her accountable or acknowledges that what she's saying is fucked up. On top of that, Ricky says after his song that nobody listened to him while he was alive which, combined with the whole choir being shocked upon learning about his deeper thoughts, pretty clearly implies that they all ignored him previously.

And it's so fucking realistic.

Look. I'm not saying that Ocean's ableism was ever handled perfectly in canon. I am saying that when I saw a post-2022 production with the able-bodied Ricky script, I got a sinking feeling in my gut when we got to *that* part of WTWN and I realized the ableist lines had been removed/replaced. Because facing ableism is a huge part of my disabled experience that I barely ever see even acknowledged in media, let alone represented accurately, and the more I face ableism in real life the more I feel I can relate to Ricky, and that is so important to me.

Depicting bigotry in fiction is always difficult to do right - it's a rough balance between "this is not okay and we should not imply that it is" and "many people believe this is okay, wrongly, and that needs to be shown accurately". Sure, you can make it so the antagonist character is overtly ableist and every sympathetic character explicitly says "I do not agree with your ableist views!" and that way it's 100% clear that the ableist actions are wrong. But real ableism isn't just like that. Sometimes real-world ableism is a group of perfectly nice people who just never think about the disabled kid, or how he's doing or whether someone should talk to him, because they've been taught to ignore him. And sometimes it's a girl who swears to God that she's a good person, who considers herself an ally, whose voice stays sweet and kind as she switches between talking to her disabled classmate like he's 5 years old and claiming he doesn't deserve to live.

I think the brutal honesty of ableism in RTC is important. Yeah, it's pretty fucked-up when you think about it - Ocean openly sings about why Ricky shouldn't live, every ableist character is presented sympathetically, nobody is ever actually held accountable for ableism on-stage - and that's just like real life. I'd like to think that it could act as a wake-up call to some abled fans, who are similar to Ocean (+ others) and who could learn to understand the flaws in their worldview when they realize you're not supposed to agree with what she says in WTWN. But even more importantly than that... it makes me feel seen, in a way that I couldn't feel if Ricky's experiences with ableism weren't shown so realistically.

SABM, like, all of it

Do I even need to explain this? Disabled person has a whole furry-themed musical number. That's cool as fuck. God I wish that were me.

Okay, seriously. I think SABM is wonderful and important for a number of reasons. Like all of the character songs, it's important for expanding Ricky's character - not only is it a main glimpse into his interests, but it sets up for us to learn more about his personality and the selflessness that would later lead to the touching Savannah scene. It shows us his deep internal thoughts - it confirms that he has deep internal thoughts - and explains how he's been coping with the ableism he faces.

SABM is weird. I like that. I like that Ricky gets to have weird interests and a weird self-insert fantasy, while being disabled - I like that being disabled isn't treated as his "weird" trait, such that giving him weird interests as well would be "too much". Because that happens a lot! Disabled people are expected to be completely average in every other way to "make up" for our disability. And, yeah, SABM is kind of horny - and that makes sense! Ricky is a teenager, he's in his final year of high school, most people his age do have sexual fantasies. Other characters also reference sex in various ways so it makes sense that Ricky would. And I think it makes sense for SABM to be weird because part of Ricky's backstory is being ignored and isolated due to his disability - that's the sort of thing that, long-term, can leave people without a clear reference point for 'weird' and 'normal', or just leave them having no reason to care about being 'weird' because they're ignored anyway.

But also, if I may get analytical for a moment. Throughout the musical until SABM, Ricky faces a lot of ableism from Ocean, which isn't really commented on - she infantilizes him, both by assuming he's incapable of deeper thought/understanding and by being shocked at the idea that he might talk about porn or sex, and she also argues that he doesn't have a reason to live with his disability. Ocean is a flawed character and an unreliable narrator, but for the first half of the musical, you could be forgiven for thinking maybe you're supposed to agree with her and view Ricky as some pitiable child.

And then in comes Ricky's introduction, followed by SABM. And clearly Ricky isn't mentally a child, in any way - he's developed a whole complex story with deep worldbuilding so that he can imagine himself having sex with alien catgirls. But it also makes it clear that Ricky does have valuable ideas to contribute and, heck, just things he enjoys - which feels significant to me when a few songs ago it was being argued that there's no reason he should be alive.

As I said earlier, the ableism Ricky faces is extremely realistic and relatable to me. And SABM makes it clear that Ocean's ableist views about him are untrue and harmful, without breaking the realism for her to turn directly to the audience and say "By the way, you aren't supposed to agree with most of what I say about Ricky - I'm an unreliable narrator speaking due to my own biases!"

Basically - SABM is a subtle deconstruction of all the ableist things said to/about Ricky throughout the musical. It's an incredibly important part of the musical and an important way to represent a disabled character. And it's also a fucking bop.

Why this is important

Representation matters. That's a concept that has been explained a lot, by people who can articulate it better than I can - I won't fully explain here, just google "why does representation matter".

Look - over the years, many aspects of RTC's disability rep have been criticised in various ways. And a lot of that criticism is completely justified. Many topics were handled confusingly, not fully explained, and not properly explored like they could have been; erasure was pretty much baked into the script, with Ricky becoming able-bodied in the afterlife, and while some productions have tried to alleviate this by retaining his mobility aids nobody has found a workaround for his inability to speak in a genre where it's important for him to sing; and in recent years his disability has been entirely erased from the script, in an incredibly ableist way.

I'm not saying RTC is perfect; far from it. But if I thought there was no value in RTC's disability rep, and Ricky was just some offensive caricature, I wouldn't be in the fandom.

In fact, it's because I love Ricky and see him as valuable disability rep that I think it's important to criticise the parts of the musical that aren't handled well & the issues with disability erasure. RTC had good disability rep - that's why I think it should be improved, why it can be improved, and why i think we should fight against erasure. That's a big part of why I hate the 2022 script changes! Because they erased something that was important to me!

A lot of the things I loved about RTC in the first place are things that I frequently see glossed over, or downright erased, in fanworks. I think sometimes people don't realize the significance of these details, so I wanted to share why I think it's important! Some of these details really need more exploration and more love!

Overall, I think it's important to understand that media can't always be sorted neatly into "good representation" or "bad representation". And that talking about the good things and criticising the flaws can both be important. I really wanted to share my perspective on this topic. Thanks for reading!

[darylas]

Chapter 1 - Blue Skies

John "Bucky" Egan x singer!fem!reader ♫ next ♫ ao3

When Bucky hears his favorite song begin to play, he does not expect to see a new Red Cross volunteer walk up to the microphone.

1.6k words

Warnings: Language, Alcohol

Disclaimer: Most of the characters mentioned are based on the dramatic portrayal featured in the Masters of the Air limited series, not the actual historical figures they represent.

A/N: This was my first time writing in several years! It's short and the pacing is interesting, but gosh darn it I had fun writing this. Special shoutout to @blurredcolour for inspiring me to pick up the pen. Go read their work, it's fantastic.

Bucky sat cross-legged in a chair next to Buck, not-so-slowly nursing his second whiskey. Men and women danced in the center of the officers club as the military band played an obviously well-rehearsed rendition of Glenn Miller’s A String of Pearls. Bucky tapped two fingers on his knee in time to the beat while he watched the dancers. He had already spent three songs dancing with three different women and was now taking a break to sit and enjoy his best friend’s company.

“That girl you were dancing with before, she was pretty,” said Buck before taking a sip of his coke. “She works in the Clubmobile, right?”

“Yeah, Helen. Good dancer, too.” Bucky spotted her on the other side of the room, chatting with Tatty Spaatz. 

Buck took another sip as he watched the band play. “Got a letter from Marge today.”

“She dump you yet?”

“Not if I read the letter right.” Buck smiled and looked down. After a moment, he looked back at Bucky. “She said Peggy was not too happy she hasn’t gotten a letter from you.”

Bucky responded with a puzzled look. “We went on one date. A double date. I swear I didn’t give her any ideas that she’d be expecting mail from me. Buck, I swear. I don’t play like that.” 

Buck gave a soft exhale through his nose. “I know you don’t. I was just passing along the message.” A String of Pearls began to come to a close. “Not sure why it’d be such a bad idea to write her, though.”

“Aww, c’mon, Buck, I’m trying to have a nice evening here.” Bucky’s eyes lit up as the band initiated the next song, loud trumpets and melodic saxophones blaring out the snappy intro to Blue Skies. He broke into a grin. “Now we’re talkin’.”

Buck and at least three other men couldn’t hold in their groans as they too heard the familiar notes. They knew exactly what this song did to Bucky, especially after a few drinks. 

Bucky leaned over to address one of the protestors, Major Jack Kidd. “It’s my song! It needs vocals! You can’t expect me to just sit here in silence.”

“I think you’re gonna have to, John,” said Buck. “Looks like your act’s been booted.” 

Bucky whipped his head around to look at the makeshift stage where the band was playing. He watched in disbelief as a woman wearing a Red Cross uniform strolled up to the microphone in front of the band and began to sing.

Blue skies smiling at me

Nothing but blue skies do I see

Several of the men whooped and whistled appreciatively, and Bucky saw you smile and wink at the crowd as you continued to sing. Every note was sung with confidence and precision, and you continued to smile brightly as you got to the chorus. Everyone in the room seemed to be under the spell of your voice and stage presence.

Never saw the sun shining so bright

Never saw things going so right

Noticing the days hurrying by

When you’re in love, my how they fly

Buck hadn’t realized how right he’d been. Bucky had gone completely silent.

He rubbed the lower half of his face to cover his growing smile. He hoped you’d glance his way but so far no luck. He found himself in a strange quandary as he was torn between closing his eyes to listen to your voice and keeping them open to stare at your face. He wasn't sure if it was the whisky, the humidity of the packed room, your performance, or a strange combination of all three, but he was beginning to feel dizzy.

Far too soon for his liking, the song ended, with you hitting the final high note right on the head. The crowd applauded as you stepped back and gestured to the band behind you in appreciation. You stepped back up to the microphone.

“Thank you very much. Let’s hear it one more time for our Air Force Band! Aren’t they wonderful?” The crowd cheered, Buck and Bucky clapping along with them. “While I’m up here, I just wanted to remind you all that this Saturday, the Red Cross will be hosting bingo night in the Aeroclub at 1900. I don’t want to spoil anything but I will tell you that we’ve got some pretty terrific prizes for the winners. Thank you again, ladies and gentlemen.” 

As you departed the stage, several men in the crowd let out cries of disappointment. The band director spoke into the microphone, “Don’t worry, ladies and gents, she’ll be back! Now if you feel so inclined, grab a partner and get back on the dance floor!” He signaled the band to start playing a new song with a count of "one, two, three, four.”

Bucky slapped both hands on his thighs and stood. He quickly downed the rest of his whisky, put down the glass, and straightened his tie. “I do believe I feel so inclined,” he said to Buck. 

“Yeah, I figured you might,” replied Buck with a smirk. 

As Bucky made his way toward where you were seated with another Red Cross Girl, he smirked as he noticed that other officers who had the same idea begrudgingly backed off. As Buck was known to say, rank had its privileges. When you looked up, Bucky greeted you with his most charming grin. “Quite the performance up there; you do autographs?”

You looked at his hands and quirked your brow. “I don’t see anything to sign.” 

Bucky looked down at his hands as well and flipped them over a couple of times. “Damn, you’re right.” He looked back at you. “How ‘bout a dance instead, then?” 

You smiled politely at him. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t dance.” You motioned to the girl sitting next to you. “Rachel here is a marvelous dancer, though.” 

“Oh, I know.” Bucky nodded at Rachel. “How ya doin’, Rach?” 

With a mischievous smile and her chin resting on her fist, the blonde replied, "I'm just swell, Bucky." 

He smiled back at her. “That’s great.” He looked back at you skeptically. “You sure? I promise to keep you on your feet, Miss…”

You gave him your name then said, “I’m sure. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Major, and don’t forget about bingo night on Saturday.”

Bucky stuck his hands in his pockets and pressed his lips together, nodding. “Right, right. Bingo night. Alright then, I’ll see you around.” He began to walk away then turned back around. “I don’t know if the band said anything to you, but Blue Skies is sorta my signature song. S’okay, though. You did alright. Little different than my rendition, but you sounded great.” 

You gave him that same damn polite smile that he couldn’t decipher and said, “Glad you liked it.”

Bucky nodded once and headed back to his seat. He cleared his dry throat after sitting down next to Buck. After picking up his whisky glass, he frowned upon realizing that it was empty. Buck looked over at him. “What happened?”

“Turns out she’s more your type. Said she doesn’t dance.” 

“What’s ‘a matter, Bucky?” He turned to see Blakely and Douglass grinning at him. “The jazz cat have claws?” Both burst out laughing at the terrible joke. Bucky bit the inside of his cheek and gave them an exasperated look.

Buck smiled good-naturedly and clapped him on the back. “Had to happen sometime, pal. Maybe getting shot down for once will help fix that king-size ego of yours,” he joked. 

“I didn’t get shot down, she said she didn’t dance.” Bucky pulled on one of his sleeves. “There’s a difference.” Once again, he began tapping two fingers against his knee to the music, trying his damndest not to look at you.

═════ ♫ ═════

Later in the evening, Bucky, Buck, and Curt Biddick were all standing at the bar. Curt and Bucky were animatedly discussing the Yankees for what had to be the hundredth time, leaving poor Buck to his coke and people-watching for a few minutes. 

Bucky saw his friend look quizzically at the dance floor then quickly avert his eyes and take a long sip. Bucky looked back in the same direction and immediately saw what Buck had been hoping he wouldn’t. At the far edge of the dance floor, you were dancing with Lt. “Bubbles” Payne, smiling and laughing. 

“I’m telling you, DiMaggio would never…what the hell are you looking at?” Curt, who was more than a little drunk, turned around and saw you and Bubbles. “That the girl who was singing earlier? The one that gave you the brush-off? I thought you said she didn’t dance. I guess she meant she doesn’t dance with-” He was cut off by Buck smacking him on the arm. “What?”

Bucky was still watching you with your arms around Bubbles, laughing at something else he said. Bubbles. He was a great guy, but what about him made you change your mind about dancing? Or was dancing not the problem at all?

Curt, unaware of Bucky��s worsening mood, casually slung his arm over his shoulders. “Hey, c’mon, don’t feel bad. I’ll dance with you, Bucky. C’mere, they’re playing our song.” 

Bucky shoved the drunk lieutenant off of him and smiled bitterly. “Yeah, cause spinning and shaking is exactly what your body needs right now, Curt.” 

He felt Buck nudge his shoulder. “You’ll get your chance, John. C’mon, I’m beat. Let’s head to the barracks.” 

As they began the walk back and the music behind them faded, Curt appeared deep in thought. Eventually, he said, very seriously, “Maybe she likes his mustache better than yours.” Buck coughed to cover a laugh. 

Bucky rolled his eyes. He didn’t care that you had rejected him. Not even a little.

He wouldn’t spare you a second thought. No sir.

And he absolutely did not hear you singing Blue Skies over and over in his head as he lay in bed that night.

—

♫ next ♫

[thenightling]

Unexpected Goth music

In the 90s you had the curious dilemma of both trying to avoid the title of Goth and also being accepted in the perceived Goth community. And there was an unfortunately high number of gatekeepers. You'd get asked what your favorite Goth artist or song was and for whatever reason "That doesn't count." or "That's actually Punk." or 'That's Death Rock, not Goth." or "That's too mainstream, that's not REAL Goth." And it got very irritating. So I'm going to list some of the things I think fit under the Goth genre that many would either not consider at all or would think "don't count." Disclaimer: This list does not contain obvious bands like The Cure, Siouxsie and the banshees, or Bauhaus. Once you remove those you'd be surprised how limited the selection of "real" Goth starts to feel. ______________________ And now here are the things that have (in my own experience) been classified as not Goth despite really fitting the criteria. Aurelio Voltaire - Sometimes considered Goth folk or "Dark Cabaret" or even "Death Rock" (1988 version of The Night) Aurelio Voltaire pretty much personifies Goth music. From his Gothic Neo Victorian / pirate look to such songs as Raised by Bats, Land of the Dead, Vampire Club, and the Neil Gaiman's The Sandman inspired "Come Sweet Death." Aurelio Voltaire is so Goth that I can't help but think there are other reasons people may not want to count him such as unconscious racism. (He's Cuban and has released Spanish language tracks.) Danny Elfman - Perhaps today most well known for his movie scores, particularly the iconically Gothic Nightmare before Christmas (where he was multiple voices including Jack's singing voice), Danny Elfman used to be the front man for the band Oingo Boingo where he had such songs as Dead Man's Party, Flesh 'n blood, Weird Science, No one lives forever, and No Spill Blood. These are arguably Gothic themed but not Gothic "style." However I do feel there is some Goth leanings in his 2020 album Big Mess which was officially released as the genre Industrial Goth. The Hex Girls - This band was invented for the 1999 Scooby Doo animated movie, Scooby Doo and the Witch's Ghost. Representing Gothic fashion, Wiccan spiritual beliefs, and environmentalism the band was meant to be a Gothic inversion on The Spice Girls. Defined as "Eco Goth" though arguably pop their songs actually were really good including "Earth, Wind, Fire, and Air" (though admittedy it should be Earth, Water, Fire, and Air), The Witch's Ghost, and Hex Girl. Inkubus Sukkubus - Considered Pagan Rock, they are definitely Goth, including the songs Sweet Morpheus and Vampire Queen (and several other vampire themed songs!) Blackmore's night - Neo Medieval folk rock band. You know... I think once you get called "Neo Medieval" you get a free pass to call yourself Goth. That's just my opinion. Including the songs Locked Within the Crystal Ball, The Darkness, and Shadow of the Moon.

Within Temptation - Symphonic Metal / Gothic Metal. One question... have you listened to them? Just listen to Angel, Stand my Ground, The Fear, or A Demon's Fate. Eden's Bridge - Progressive Celtic Folk Rock. They have two songs dedicated to Oscar Wilde's The Canterville Ghost. I know one song isn't enough but still... Sonata Arctica - Metal but some of their biggest hits are about magic and more commonly werewolves. Cain's offering - Again, Metal, but the subject matter is decidedly Gothic. Kamelot - Power metal but they have two albums that retell Goethe's Faust parts 1 and 2 (Epica and The black Halo). In fact pretty much everything they do is of Gothic inclination. Richard Campbell - Metal but he did an entire metal opera retelling the novel Frankenstein. I think that's pretty Goth if you ask me.

Smashing Pumpkins - Considered Alternative rock. There was time where just about anything vampire related was advertised with Bullet with Butterfly Wings. And the band is named after a popular Halloween prank. The lead singer is also a professional poet.

Alice Cooper - Welcome to my Nightmare, Keepin' Halloween Alive, The Ballad of Dwight Frye (actor from classic universal monster movies), Gimme, Black Widow (With Vincent Price). He also performed in Tim Burton's Dark Shadows.

Marilyn Manson - Once Classified as industrial Goth, he was denounced by many Goths as "too mainstream" or "Not Goth enough." The man did covers of Danny Elfman's This is Halloween, David Bowie's Golden Years, Annie Lennox's Sweet Dreams, and Lost Boys' Cry Little Sister. That's pretty Goth if you ask me. My Chemical Romance (MCR) - Do I really need to elaborate wit this one? David Bowie - Mostly considered Glam Rock, Bowie has dabbled in all genres and Heart's Filthy Lesson was definitely industrial. Aurelio Voltaire did a Goth sequel to the songs Bowie wrote for Labyrinth. And Bowie's Scary Monsters and Super Creeps inspired Danny Elfman. You can't get more Goth than that (In my opinion). Even Bowie's album Hours drifts into Emo territory. Prince - At the very least he had a Goth aesthetic. I think if he wasn't black people would be quicker to realize he could fit as Goth. There's a lot of unconscious racism among some (not all) Goths. Michael Jackson - One word. Thriller. He also had The Boogeyman's Gonna Get ya with The Jackson Five, and later Ghost. But once you get Vincent Price to rap you should automatically count. The Rasmus - Rock but most of their songs are decidedly Goth and probably should count such as In the Shadows, Ghost of love, and Lucifer's Angel. Sarah McLachlan - Though considered pop let's be honest. Every Goth and person in the 90s "vampire Scene" had her Surfacing album or at least heard Building a Mystery. Before her music started playing in ASPCA commercials you heard songs like Adia on Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Savage Garden - Though definitely pop they get an honorary mention for having songs inspired by Anne Rice and for naming themselves after a phrase invented by The vampire Lestat to describe the nature of the world in The Vampire Lestat novel by Anne Rice. Sting - Though not always Goth, Sting was in the Gothic horror movie The Bride and wrote a song from the perspective of Louis in Interview with the vampire called Moon over Bourbon Street. Stevie Nicks - She got an American Horror story: Coven tie-in music video and practices witchcraft. That's like hitting a Goth bullseye. Johnny Cash - Wore all black all the time and did a cover of a NIN song that is considered better than the original version, Hurt. Sir Elton John - Glam / Pop rock but he gets an honorary mention for composing the Lestat Broadway musical and having a full demo album that was never officially released and can only be found through dubious / underground sources. (Or Ebay if you were lucky in 2006...) Honorable mention to Bobby "Boris" Pickett for having the first Gothic themed song to get banned in the UK (Monster Mash) for being "Too morbid." You can't get much more Goth than that.

[mrradmccoolman]

hello everynyan!! it's baby's second (?) tumblr post. i present to you:

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

okay, so, here's the gist of it: i have an ever-growing playlist on spotify of songs i feel fit neil, todd, or their relationship as a whole. each song is not only one i like, but also has lyrics that represent something specific about them. this sort of thing is something ive done for multiple characters for a long time, and ive always had carefully curated reasons behind my choices. i just recently got back into the dps fandom, and thought this would be a good way to not only show how i see the characters, but also become a part of the community on Tumblr myself :)

i will not be doing every song simply because i do not have the time and the playlist is way too long for that, but i'll definitely be choosing some favorites. i'll most likely just post whenever i feel like it, so i can't promise any sort of a timeline. this is just a little project i thought would be fun, especially considering the fics im working on take me ages lol 😅

sooo without further ado: song number one is....

Habanero by Rosie Tucker

i've been listening to a lot of rosie tucker's music lately, and this song really stood out to me as a todd/neil song from neil's perspective. one of the reasons i connect so much to neil as a character is because i see myself in him, and subsequently how he handles what i see as a very real depressive disorder throughout the movie. this song makes me think of his feelings and relationship with todd in canon, how he sees himself and todd, and the bittersweet-ness of loving someone in the "wrong" way.

"...you said "this never happens to me, this never happens" but you smile while you suffer so you're lying or wrong" this lyric encapsulates a big part of neil's perception of todd, especially towards the beginning of the movie. it specifically reminds me of the "what do you mean no?" scene and the argument they have leading up to it. it also alludes to todd's poem scene in front of the class and neil's reaction to it. he sees todd as saying this sort of bewildered, in awe, "this never happens to me," because, well, for todd, that's how it feels. he doesn't speak in front of people, he doesn't share parts of himself like that. i actually believe he didn't even really write poetry on his own before keating's class, either, so even writing at all is a big step for him- never mind showing others. we know todd hates public speaking and being perceived (although it's a lot more complicated than that, but i won't get into it here) so he "smiles while (he) suffers" because even though this is something he hates and feels so much shame about, a part of him is amazed and happy he did it at all. thus the "you're lying or wrong" from neil- i see this as neil recognizing that actually, knowing todd, this isn't the first time he's done something like this like he might think. in truth, todd says and does beautiful things like this all the time. though todd sees himself as dull and embarassing, neil sees the truth. we often think of neil as recognizing todd as a diamond in the rough, but people are more complicated than that. really, todd has always had this beauty inside him- this is just the first time he (and everyone else) has gotten the opportunity to really see it. neil feels vindicated in a sense, because he knew it was there.

"i'm never happy, but i've never been better" i feel this lyric is pretty straightforward when it comes to neil. he has depression, which makes it so so hard to feel happy, even when you think you should- and most of the time, neil doesn't even have those moments. todd isn't some cure-all for his problems, and certainly doesn't make his depression go away, but he's a huge aid to neil. he's the one person who really sees him. even if neil still isn't happy in the traditional way, he still feels better around todd. another thing i could get into buttt this post is already gonna be long enough as is lol.

"i need to see you sweat" i feel this one is also pretty self explanatory. it's sexuality and desire, something neil has likely not felt to this level before. especially when you're depressed, it's hard to feel any sort of desire. i feel that any thoughts neil would have would already be pretty vague because of his internalized homophobia, but this would be similar to the way he would allow himself to verbalize his feelings. there are a lot of great fics out there that i feel really encapsulate this well.

"wouldn't we be perfect together if we wanted exactly the same thing?" i would argue that the majority of the fandom kind of accepts neil's feelings for todd as pretty obviously requited, even though interestingly enough, from an outside perspective i would actually argue neil's feelings are the most obviously canon. not that i don't definitely believe todd feels the same, nor do i think this is a bad thing- it's just that the entire movie revolves around identity, and neil's passion for acting serves as a metaphor for queerness pretty obviously, and beyond that acting is associated with queer identity as a whole, another reason behind mr. perry's aversion to it. neil doesn't know if todd feels the same as he does. even if things may seem obvious to us, this isn't "normal" for the time period and so i believe wholeheartedly that neil didn't know todd had any feelings for him. was this more his own self hatred, him protecting himself, or that anything he saw that may have alluded to reciprocation he convinced himself was his own mind playing tricks on him? probably a mixture of all three.

"but i smile while i suffer like a sucker supreme" even though neil knows this won't end well, that his feelings are "wrong" and this is hurting him in the long run, he can't help himself when it comes to todd. he's a sucker for him and the feelings he gets being around him.

"all at once i'm a child trapping tadpoles in a cup, and i know they'll never make it (...) but i smile while they suffer 'cause i want it so much" neil knows being in the play, being with todd, and defying his father is a losing game. he knows, on a distant level, that he'll never get away with it. maybe during the play he finally, for one gorgeous moment, truly believed things would change- but then his father shows up and proves he was right all along. he knows he's doomed, that todd was right to doubt his plan to lie to his father in the first place, but he wants it so badly he doesn't care (or, more than that, he feels so incredibly trapped that he's given up and has resigned himself to the consequences). not only this, but his depression has made his latching onto the one thing that gives him hope even more intense. to be ripped away from this, the only thing he's ever wanted- the only person he's ever wanted- is the end. he knows that. even so, even though he can see the futility of it all crumbling beneath him, he sees the fall through.

"i can't believe i'll die before becoming a frog" there's a sort of disbelief in his resignation to death in his final moments, a darkly humorous "i can't believe it's come to this, that this is really happening" despite not really being surprised. neil is cutting everything short and throwing away his potential before his father gets the chance to do it for him. he'll never "become a frog" in so many ways- never get to live for himself, never get to become an adult, never get to act again, etc.

well...that was very long! if you've made it to the end of this post, i hope this was as fun for you as it was for me :)) i'll definitely be doing more of these as time goes on!! let me know your thoughts!!

(the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fh97W8EItmoJHjQvjsBl4?si=WoH7J5GHTfmt3v7OuqbHnQ&pi=6x2g03n8Q1Knc )

| next ->

[livingformintyoongi]

Congrats on 300!!! 👏💙 Since I found your blog from the Bring on the night series I think is only appropriate to send the emoji that is song related hehe so, 💐 + yoongi ♡

Congratulations again, you deserve it! I can't wait to continue reading your work uwu

Thanks for being so sweet ^^, tbh, this is one of my favorite couples in this series, I really love their interactions and how they've been acting as a couple for so long, even if none of them assimilate yet <3. This is kind of a prequel, so to speak, the song as such describes how their relationship starts and pretty much determines the kind of interactions they would have in the future (5 years later, where SIFO begins).

That said, here's the song I have to represent this couple:

The new title track from BOTN's album, Shoot Me, echoed loudly in the venue they had rented for the listening party. There was smoke on the floor, lights of various colors were moving in patterns around the walls. There were dozens of people, each one more famous than the last, all dancing and singing along to the new song that all the critics were saying would be the new hit of the year. It probably would be, it was Yoongi's favorite song on the entire album, at least it would be until tonight, he didn't think he could ever listen to it again without banging his head against the table.

"Can I have a mimosa?" you smiled brightly, resting both arms on the bar. Your eyes roamed over each of the various liquors and spirits on the other side. You weren't an expert drinker, but the colors of the bottles combined with the party lights made them look quite bright and aesthetically pleasing. You watched as the bartender nodded slightly and went to get the stuff to make your drink. It was only until you followed him with your eyes that you noticed a head of what appeared to be black or blue. In the dark-haired man's hand was a small glass with a ball-shaped ice that took up most of the space. You assumed it was whiskey.

He lifted his head lazily, sighing as he kept his gaze fixed on his glass. He gave it a swirl and finished drinking what little he had left. You, for your part, were attentive to his every move and expression. There was something about his thin lips, pale face and catlike eyes that made you curious in a way you hadn't been in a long time.

"A mimosa for the lady," said the bartender from earlier, setting the glass down in front of you. You jumped in your chair at the fright he gave you. You took the glass and shot a glance at the man in the suit, who gave you an amused expression as he gestured towards the guy sitting next to you. You rolled your eyes, taking your drink in one gulp in an attempt to forget the heat that had appeared on your cheeks as you were caught watching the boy next to you.

Half of your drink disappeared in the first gulp, and as soon as you set it down on the bar you looked back up at him. He still seemed too engrossed in his own world to pay attention to you, and judging by his annoyed look, the place he was in mentally was not in the least bit pleasant.

"Bad day?" you asked close to his ear. The music was too loud and you didn't think he'd be able to hear you if you didn't move closer to him. Your smile faltered a little as you saw his face head on. He was so handsome.

"Excuse me?" he frowned slightly, tapping his fingernails against the clear glass of his glass. His eyes studied you from head to toe, your face didn't look familiar to him at all, but judging by how you acted with him, it seemed you were, or were you just like that with everyone?

"I asked you if you were having a bad day" you repeated, this time bringing your index finger right between his eyebrows. You laughed as you watched his eyes follow your finger in confusion. "Your face is crying out for help, you seriously look like you're hating life right now."

"Oh, well, maybe it's because I am hating it" he muttered under his breath, turning his full attention back to your face. Why were you acting like you were close? Did he sleep with you at one time and had forgotten about it? No, he didn't think that possible, you were too different from any other girl he had been with before, and he wasn't the type of guy who drank until he forgot what happened in the night.

He noticed how you picked up your glass and drank what was left in one gulp, letting out a satisfied gasp before turning back to him, "Then dance with me" you said in a cheerful tone, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up so you could lift him out of his chair.

"What? no, forget it, I don't dance" he shook his head quickly, trying to release himself from your grip in a not so rough and rude way. Yes, he may not be an extremely friendly person, but that didn't mean he would turn down your offer petulantly, at least not when he had three glasses of whiskey on him.

"Everybody dance, plus it helps to relax the body and up the amount of endorphins the body produces, and I can tell you need some of those," you said as you dragged him onto the dance floor. He might have been verbally refusing, but his body was putting up no opposition.

"You just made that up, didn't you?" he raised his eyebrows, pausing as you did. You turned around, giggling playfully at the sight of his expression. You could get used to seeing that shit-eating grin he was wearing right now.

"Totally, although that's probably true, you know, dancing is a type of exercise and exercise releases endorphins" you nodded firmly, taking his hands to rest them on your waist; you, for your part, rested yours on his shoulders.

Yoongi took the time to look at every feature of your face, from your big, bright eyes to the freckles on your cheeks, you were not his type at all, moreover, he preferred a girl with slanted eyes and thin lips a thousand times over someone with a puppy face. However, there was something about your cheerful gaze and bright smile that made him rethink his tastes. You had an interest in him, that much was obvious, perhaps, if you asked him to go somewhere more… private, he'd probably fuck you until your memory was fuzzy and your legs were shaky.

But you weren't asking him that, instead, you were trying to convince him to dance with you to release endorphins. This was the strangest conversation he'd had with a girl in years.

"So, what's got you like this? I mean, you look awfully attractive with your 'I hate everyone' look, but there must be a reason behind it, right?" you cocked your head to the side, watching his expression closely.

"Does that matter?" he laughed softly, settling his hands on your lower back as he pulled his body even closer to yours. "I doubt you came over to talk to me just to find out what's got me in a bad mood."

"Sure I did…sort of" you laughed softly, tangling your fingers in his hair. Now that there was a little more lighting in the place, you could tell that actually the color of her hair was navy blue. It suited him quite well.

"So you didn't talk to me just because you wanted us to fuck?" he whispered against your neck, brushing your hair with his nose. A shit-eating grin appeared on his face as he noticed the way you trembled slightly at that suggestive little act.

"The thought crossed my mind, I'd be lying if I said otherwise" you pulled away just enough to see his face, smiling defiantly at him, "but the mood needed to be warmed up, and you definitely weren't cooperating with your unfriendly face."

Yoongi licked his lips, grabbing your wrist and turning around, ready to take you to one of the bathrooms that were on the premises so he could do his thing, "Well, I'm in a better mood now, why not-?" he cut off his sentence as soon as he felt you pull him hard, almost causing him to fall to the floor.

"Oh, no, don't even think about it" you laughed, hugging his waist with a big smile on your face, "right now I want to dance."

"But-".

"Nope, shut that pretty mouth of yours, honey" you pressed your finger to his lips, raising your eyebrows, "let's dance until our feet hurt, then you'll take me for a drink at the bar and, only after that, you'll take me to your car so we can fuck, because no way am I doing it in a bathroom, I don't want to get infections."

An incredulous laugh escaped Yoongi's lips. Normally he wouldn't listen to something like that, he probably wouldn't even have let himself be dragged to the dance floor in the first place, let alone buy a drink for someone he would only have a wild night with which he would most likely forget the next day, but how could he say no to you when you were smiling at him like that? How could he when your eyes were looking at him with the glare of the lights reflected in them?

"Do you want to release enough endorphin before we have sex?" he said in a teasing tone, smiling involuntarily as he watched your expression get even brighter, if that was even possible.

"Totally, I think we're starting to get along…"

"Yoongi" he replied almost instantly, waiting for you to tell him your name in return.

"Y/N" you took his hand, shaking it firmly, "it's a pleasure, Yoongi."

"Same here, Y/N" he replied with a smile, keeping his grip just as firm as yours.

He tried to completely ignore that it was the first time in his entire life that he was telling his real name to one of his one-night stands.

taglist: @thunderg @minjianhyung @queenv1997 @yoongtism @lizzymizzy-blogg @superbbananananana @drpepperobsessed @themwordsblog @taekritimin123 @bluecloudss

Masterlist.

300 followers party.

[itsnotmourn]

CONCEPTS AND RAMBLINGS | "animal" cult pmv extras

thank you everyone for liking my pmv (and on yt and twitter) !! i got more attention than i thought it would and that means the world to me! <33

here’s some of my concept art + rambles for it!

the first thing i made up, the character designs!

i didn’t think to refine them because they were good enough to use LMAO... so i scribbled colours down, threw a filter and called it a night

i wanted a sharp change from the verses and chorus (since the song goes from calm to... louder) so i made it greyscale (with a red filter) that changed to brighter colours!

also changed the text font/colour for ignacio hmm. the font was hard to read, in my opinion.

ignacio's design

ignacio loses his bandage colours because that was too many colours for my liking… i completely forgot his hair highlights tho

ah and he doesn’t get a mouth until the fire scene too…

it was only meant to be done for a few frames but i thought it be cooler if it was consistent.

the missing mouth represents his repressed feelings/silence, or something like that.

skidad's design

i got a few questions on whether skidad was a goat. despite looks, skidad’s design is actually based on the herbiadean/jacob sheep! four horns!

i have drawn skidad as a jacob sheep before as well!

look at them ominous friends.

the resemblance to goats is something i considered as well (links with cult/sacrifice) so i think of it as a fun bonus

i gave him wolf teeth because the whole “wolf in sheep’s clothing” but also because i like it when prey animals are given predator features

i left the body as "human" because i only wanted the face to be censored… i considered clawed/darkened hands too but nah

skidad was originally going to be lined like ignacio, but i liked the lineless look for him so voila! makes it feel like he’s “not bound by anything”... actually, this is the same reasoning for the match to be “out” of the border, even though it’s ignacio’s hand

storyboards

i rarely storyboard (most are locked in my mind) but i figured it'd be fun to try!

halfway, i got bored of drawing digitally so i moved onto my notebook. i think it was a good decision; since i drew with my ink pen, it forced me to move on with my mistakes instead of clicking "clear canvas" lol

i had a pretty solid idea of what i wanted after weeks of listening to the song over and over again. the only thing that really changed was the mirror, which was replaced with a shadowy ignacio

the coloured thumbnails i actually did first, just to figure out out what i’m doing for the chorus part… limited palette my beloved

i didn't know where to put the text so i was scribbling everywhere lol

ratio changes

in the chorus, the ratio of ignacio and skidad’s frames changes! it’s more obvious if i combined them together, like this

less for ignacio, more for skidad

did you notice that the fire in this shot look like the cult ?!!! why did i do that, you ask? well:

the fire is the same “red”as the robe

too lazy to draw fire without abusing motion blur

mmm symbolism idk. it's somewhere there

it wasn’t in my plans but i’m happy i made the choice in the last minute. this was the last thing i needed to finish before syncing it up with the music

also this… i just wanted to point it out… make sure everyone knows... did you notice this? did you? did you did you? well now you do!!!

that's it !!! that's your trip into my mind!! okay byeeeee !!

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 5: Indiscreet (In The Future)

Unfortunately it would be a bit of a lie to say that I vibed with Indiscreet right away. Not to say that I didn't like it, but maybe my unprepared ears weren't ready for whatever this album is. It's a lot. And it's all amazing stuff!! Still, I guess it needed some getting used to before I could really GET IT too. Had to stick to the couple tracks that I gravitated towards first (and I REALLY liked those btw. A lot) before gathering up the courage to take another plunge into the whole thing. Probably a lot of that can be attributed to the fact that this was one of my very first Sparks albums: the 6th I listened to according to my notes... I know Indiscreet is a pretty big fan favourite and thankfully, for me it might just be the finest case of gradually enjoying an album more and more with each listen. And I must say I REALLY love it now. EVERY song here is amazing, no doubt about that now.

But returning to the start for a bit, I was ready to get into some more of that (glam) rock side of Sparks I already knew by then from the previous two albums, and I got a bit of that here... Not quite as much as I hoped perhaps, but that was just another fact of life to learn here: Sparks never stick to one thing for too long. And this is when I need to get into the beautiful mix of... everything that this album offers. Early 20th century big band and vaudeville next to rock and pop and even some slightly-punk-before-punk-was-even-a-thing-really, as I've seen In The Future be described as once (more or less)... And then within the tracks themselves, we'll have strings next to brass and horns next to electric guitars next to beepy synthesisers. And let's not forget the most important of them all: the whistle.

The best thing about it all though is that it does not feel jarring to have a mix of all these different things and jump from one to the other constantly. Or, at least, not TERRIBLY jarring. Jarring within reason? Jarring, but in a masterful and knowledgeable way that works in favor of the whole piece rather than against it? You name it.

I say this... quite often about Sparks and individual songs or albums of theirs but this time I mean it perhaps even moreso than ever, that this album is extremely unique and truly like nothing else I've ever heard or likely will ever hear. I'd say it poses a bit more of a challenge than some other Sparks releases but once you get through that initial bewilderment (if you DO encounter it. I'm sure many don't but many others also probably do just like I did), the reward is a really great and one of a kind musical experience.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Happy Hunting Ground: early fav that I don't really think about all that much anymore... (it's still a total banger though. And, not going to lie, seeing the live performance of this song from Dee Vee Dee renewed my love for it recently). I was REALLY into it in the beginning though. It aligning very well with my hopes for more energetic rock tracks must have been a big part of that

Get In The Swing: idk what to say about it but it's just SO GOOD! Type of song I hear before the album proper that convinces me that yes, this band here is truly something special, I need more of this

Pineapple: it fullfills every need! Most importantly the need for a very singable and delightful tune from the renowned songwriter Russell Mael. It's sure to lift my mood considerably every time I hear it

It Ain't 1918: I think if I had to cut down all of Indiscreet to one song that represents it best as a whole, I would go with this one (Get In The Swing would probably be my second choice)

The Lady Is Lingering

In The Future: DEFINITELY my favourite here, another candidate for one of the best Sparks songs overall, special shoutout to those short instrumental segments between parts of the verses, you know, with the synth line that slows down and then speeds up again?

Miss The Start, Miss The End

Profile: song so good and in line with the rest of Indiscreet that I find it hard to believe it's just a bonus track. Impressive falsetto moments, fun as heck piano lines, all of the songs here are very unique but this one is fun and catchy in an especially unique way, to me

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG translation] "Joker Out: We won't make dolls out of ourselves"

This is an interview with Joker Out that was published the day after the Misija Liverpool programme, where they presented Carpe Diem for the first time. We're posting it to commemorate its one year anniversary!

Original article published in Delo newspaper on 5.2.2023, available online here for Delo subscribers. Article written by Gašper Završnik and Agata Rakovec Kurent; photos by Voranc Vogel and Katja Kodba; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123. Also available in audio version on our podcast, read by IG GBoleyn123.

After conquering Slovenia, Joker Out, currently the hottest Slovenian band, is now also conquering the world. They talked about recognisability, Eurovision, and days that should be seized.

Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin, guitarists Kris Guštin and Jan Peteh, drummer Jure Maček and bassist Nace Jordan are Joker Out, currently our most in-demand musical fivesome. They've almost sold out the concert in Stožice in October already, and it seems like the boys have already reached the sky as the limit in Slovenia. Now, it's time for the world. Yesterday evening, in the Misija Liverpool ('Mission Liverpool') programme on Televizija Slovenija ('Television Slovenia', Slovenian national TV), they presented Carpe Diem, the song with which they will represent us at the Eurovision Song Contest in Liverpool in May, for the first time.

Select members of the media already heard it a week before, at Saturday's recording of the programme, and we had the chance to talk to the band members afterwards. We talked about looking for the Eurovision formula, about what one has left after Stožice, about the burden of fame, as well as about how we should love, dance, enjoy, and care for one another while we can.

When did you warm up to Eurovision, which is often kind of stigmatised among rockers? Did the success of Måneskin perhaps have something to do with it?

Kris: We've been warming up our whole lives, because we're all pretty fervent Eurovision fans. I make time every May to watch the semi-finals and the final. We didn't go to Eurovision because Måneskin made it. They did prove that Eurovision is not as limited in genre anymore and that rock bands can participate too, but we're going to Liverpool because it's now the right time for us to start expanding our horizons outside of Slovenian borders, and Eurovision is the most optimal thing we can do at the moment.

Today (a.n.: we talked on Saturday, the 31st of Janurary) you presented the song to the audience in the national television's studio, in one week, all of Slovenia will hear it for the first time. How are you feeling?

Nace: The best part was standing on the stage when we played the song for the first time.

Jure: That's true, so much effort suddenly paid off.

When did you make Carpe Diem?

Bojan: The song was recorded in December in Hamburg, and the final mixings or masterings were happening all the way to the finish line just before the show, but it's always like that. We've listened to the song a million times, and when we played it for the first time, I was still proud of this song and I still liked it. People visibly reacted to it very well, and then audibly too. What more could we ask for?

What is the main message of the song that you wish to impart on expanded Europe and Australia?

Jan: Let's love, dance, enjoy, and care for one another while we can.

Kris: Despite the hostility that surrounds us.

With that, do you mean the Russian aggression in Ukraine?

Kris: Not necessarily.

Jan: Not explicitly. Anything that gives rise to thoughts that do no good.

This time, when you were creating, did you have a different audience in mind, were you searching for the Eurovision formula?

Jan: While making the song Carpe Diem, we were mainly thinking about how we must not focus on the fact that it's a Eurovision song. We wanted to make a song that is ours and represents us. Our purpose isn't just to go to Liverpool, rather, we want to present ourselves to the wider European audience, and I hope that they will accept us the way we are as much as possible.

In Slovenia, you're the hottest name on the scene right now. Isn't Eurovision, where, after all, you could also come 27th, a risky move? Why not just rest on your laurels?

Bojan: I think that resting on our laurels, especially at our age, would be the worst possible decision. It would make us a band that isn't in this business because they want to create, but a band that wants to rest on laurels.

Even if we happen to come 27th, it absolutely won't devalue everything we have managed to do so far and are planning to do in the future. This is just another competition and in fact, someone has to be 27th, that's a totally normal part of life. If it happens, we will definitely be sad, broken-hearted, and stricken, but it won't crush us.

A promotional tour awaits you as well; you're supposed to perform in Madrid, Barcelona, Warsaw, and Amsterdam. What else are you preparing to make Europe and the bookmakers pay attention to you before May?

Kris: If anything, we will convince the media when they get to know us and get an idea of who we are and what this thing even is, that we call shagadelic rock'n'roll. Madrid, Barcelona, Warsaw, and Amsterdam offer an excellent chance for us to showcase ourselves to international media, which is a very important aspect of getting votes for Eurovision, as well as establishing an image and a backing before you step onto the big stage.

Jan: Anything we say, release, or present will be genuine and honest. We won't make dolls out of ourselves. We want Europe to get to know us as we are.

One of the important aspects of Eurovision, in which Slovenia almost never stood out, is staging. How will you approach that, what will the core idea be? The Eurovision stage offers pretty much anything a musician can think of.

Kris: You can do anything if the budget lets you. The performance is for sure one of the most important things, but up until this moment, when we finished filming the show [Misija Liverpool] and the music video, we haven't focused on it yet. On the 4th of February, we will start intense rehearsals, we have some basic ideas. We want to build on the chemistry of our performance, more so than on glamour, confetti, and lights.

Jan: Being able to invest millions into the staging and public relations certainly doesn't hurt. We, however, definitely don't have them, so we will try to convince the audience with a good idea, a bit. We haven't been able to focus on that yet due to other obligations, though.

There's been some controversy over the fact that RTV (Slovenian national television) invited you to participate without you having won EMA first, as there is no Slovenian national selection for Eurovision this year. What can you say about this controversy, were you planning to sign up for EMA this year if it had happened, and is a direct invitation the optimal way to choose the Slovenian Eurovision representative?

Kris: Depends on who you ask. It might not have been optimal for us either. If we won EMA, going to Eurovision would be easier for us, because the song would've received more tangible support from the Slovenian public. As it is, we feel much more pressure to prove ourselves.

Jan: On the other hand, I don't remember a single EMA winner who was accepted by the majority of the public. Whoever won in the past 15 years that I've been following EMA got dragged through the mud. Unfortunately, this is something that's hard to avoid.

Kris: EMA and Eurovision are divisive things. Any way you slice it, someone will always be against it and someone will be for it.

Bojan: Our plan was to sign up for EMA this year, and then we got the call that we could go to Eurovision if we wanted. We wanted to go and that is why we're going. I have also said a few times already that EMA, back when we started watching it, used to be a prestigious event that the most successful and promising musicians signed up for, but in the recent years, that has absolutely changed.

My personal opinion is that just because you have a song and can sign up for EMA, that doesn't mean you've been robbed because there's no EMA. Something that has kind of spread around is that we have a lot of musicians who aren't actually active, but rather wait for EMA every year. They don't have concerts or other events in Slovenia and they practically only appear in tabloids.

I'm very sorry if we offended anyone, but I did get a lot of messages from the musicians that we, and I think most of the Slovenian audience as well, value the most, and they very much support RTV's decision.

Why will you sing in Slovenian and not in English? Is that smart?

Jure: I think that is the best decision we've made. We're representing Slovenia and we want to stand behind that. More people would probably understand us if the song were in English.

Bojan: Probably. (laughter)

Jure: I think that our song and our energy on the stage will show enough to make a good impression.

Bojan: If we got this opportunity and honour of Slovenia sending us to Eurovision directly, we think it's right to represent it in the local language.

It often seemed like Slovenian representatives were happy just to perform at Eurovision, and often used the smallness of the country as an excuse for their result. This year, it seems like you're approaching things in a more ambitious way, it feels like you're not interested in having a supporting role. Is that a wrong impression?

Jan: If Slovenian basketball players, who won the European Championship, didn't use the smallness as an excuse, then we have no reason to do it either. It might even be an advantage that we are "boutique".

What would be a satisfying result for you in Liverpool?

Jan: We definitely want to get into the final.

Kris: Top five.

Jure: I would consider the final a success. If we get into the final, we'll be more than happy.

Bojan: I'm thinking about a victory, and you can only go downhill from there. (laughter) I think that there's no placement for which you'd say "this is it" at the end, but the fact is that we won't place any better than we deserve.

It's probably not a coincidence that while you were recording the Eurovision song in Hamburg, you also prepared an English version of the album. Is that, as well as the Eurovision performance itself, a sign that Slovenia has become too small for you and you're interested in going abroad?

Jan: Good job connecting the dots.

Kris: Definitely. Our ambition lies in any market that is ready to have us. That's why we also recorded an English album in Hamburg, which will be a compilation of our favourite songs from the first and second album.¹ We will release it right after Eurovision, and until then, we will also present a song that we're preparing in collaboration with a very famous English performer.²

We're not hiding what we want from Eurovision, but it's not the only thing. We also want a good experience and to represent Slovenia with dignity and place high with a song in Slovenian again.

Bojan: The idea of recording in Hamburg has nothing to do with Slovenia being too small, but rather with us wanting to get out of our comfort zone, out of the environment we're in all the time, so to go there and have as much of an open mind as possible.

In terms of going abroad and concerts after Eurovision, we're already making very concrete plans for concerts around the Balkan region, and we've also already started booking club performances during the time we'll be in Liverpool. We're looking forward to going abroad.

Can you perhaps hint which British performer you will join forces with?

Jan: Unfortunately no, but we can tell you that it's not John Lennon.

Bojan, I watched your Portrait with coffee for Barcaffe³ where you also talked about the burden of recognisability. I imagine that you receive a lot of attention from women in particular. How do you deal with constantly being under the microsope from the public?

Bojan: After that interview, a fellow musician came up to me and told me that he completely understood what I wanted to say, but that I should never again in my life dare to complain about it, because it's simply the side product of the thing we're working towards. Ever since then, all I say is: thank you very much to everyone who bothers me. (laughter)

Are the other members also as impacted as the frontman?

Jure: Probably a little less than Bojan, but you can recognise the looks people give you. I can feel that I've started acting differently. I'm more mindful of what I do. I used to go for coffee at a café in my slippers, now I wouldn't do that anymore, though maybe it would be a good joke too. (laughter)

You're in high demand in Slovenia. Are you taking advantage of this opportunity and having concerts everywhere you can, or are you careful not to appear on the scene too much, given the smallness of our market?

Jure: We had a lot of concerts last year, I think we all agree that it was too many, so we won't perform for half a year now. We'll be getting ready for Eurovision, and when we come back, we will have a month-long tour, some good concerts that we like and that a lot of people will come to. After that, we'll have a break again until Stožice, after which we'll have another well-deserved break.

Are you satisfied with the ticket sales for the big concert, which will happen on the 6th of October [2023]?

Bojan: Eight months before the concert, we've sold 7,000 out of 10,500 tickets, from this week on, only the red ring (the highest seats) and a few VIP boxes are available, which means that after a few concerts in Slovenia that have already happened, we have already almost sold out Stožice.

Is there perhaps even a possibility of an additional concert?

Bojan: No, we talked about it, but we made the decision to not do two days. We decided that in particular because of our experience with Cvetličarna⁴, where we didn't have a feeling of absolute catharsis after the first concert, because we were still waiting for the second evening. Instead, we decided that the night after the Stožice concert, we'll travel somewhere warm.

Is having the Eurovision Song Contest in Liverpool this year the right decision?

Bojan: I think that, despite some previous appeals by Zelensky, it would be hard to have it in Kyiv.

Jure: We really like that it's in Liverpool.

You started out as a band very early, when you were twelve years old. What is the secret behind you not breaking up due to all the upheaval puberty brings?

Bojan: It's true that we started at twelve, but from that group, which was called Apokalipsa, I'm the only one left. (laughter) Another member of Apokalipsa was Martin, who left the band last year, after the concert in Križanke, and was replaced by Nace.

The reason for Martin's departure was the biggest show of maturity I've ever seen in a young person. He understood and recognised that his wishes and aspirations in life lay somewhere else than with this band. He called us, told us that, and even picked Nace.

When, at eleven, I told my guitar teacher Pavle Kavec that we were forming a band, and he said that things will definitely start changing at some point, I confidently replied that it will definitely never happen to us. Now I see that Pavle was more than right, which is obvious, since he's an experienced rocker.

Nace, you joined an already established band. Were you worried at all that fans wouldn't accept you, that you will be like something foreign, because you haven't been with them from the start?

Nace: I didn't have that fear. I know that I contributed to the band musically, that they also went a different way with me, which can also be heard in the song Carpe Diem. Maybe I was a little worried about the image, because I didn't know how aligned we'd be in that regard, but I was the most worried about how we'd get along.

I wasn't bothered at all by what other people would think. I was thinking more about how they're having a good time and whether they will also have a good time once I join them. I have to say that the guys immediately accepted me so wonderfully that I feel like I've been with them since I was twelve.

Bojan: We truly feel the same.

The title of your song translates as "Seize the day". How do you do that, and what do you consider a truly good day?

Bojan: A perfect day is different for everyone, and also different every day, and the beauty of it is that with each new day, we can experience our perfect day, but the best day never happens. As we never know what tomorrow will bring, we have to live as if there were no tomorrow.

Jure: But the best thing is when we're together.

Bojan: That is the best thing and the reason this band is what it is. When we had a big concert or a shoot and we were together day in and day out, there wasn't even a day after the project ended when we didn't either meet up at our rehearsal place and hang out together all day again, or pack our suitcases and go on holiday together.

Since Kris's father is our well-known musician Gušti, I'd like to know whether you've received any useful advice from the older music generation?

Jure: I think we blazed our own trail. There hasn't been any advice from Gušti in a long time.

Bojan: Gušti has already told us everything he had to tell us. Soon after we started, he recognised us as independent creators and performers and took on more of a spectator role.

He's always ready to offer us a well-meaning comment when we need it, as well as any kind of help. This band is a group of people that works by its own principles, but we have our circle of people we believe and trust, and that's normal for a team.

We also got a lot of useful advice, which we didn't even know was advice back then, from our older musician friends, but at the same time, they never made us feel like they were being patronising.

How did your musician friends react when they learned that you were going to Eurovision?

Kris: No one will say to your face that it was a bad decision. Most people I talked to, however, find it good that we're finally sending something tried-and-true to Eurovision. I mostly agree with this sentiment as well; but we have read comments on social media and various web portals that...

Jan: ... that Bojan is short of stature with a big ass.

Kris: We even read somewhere that we're going to Eurovision because one of us is the son of Alenka Bratušek.⁵ My dad was getting badmouthed too, as in, "Gušti arranged it all for them." There are various conspiracy theories.

Jan: If Gušti could arrange that, he also would've gone to Eurovision.

¹This interview is from last year; Joker Out later ended up abandoning the idea of an album with English versions of their songs.

²Kris is referring to New Wave, their collaboration with Elvis Costello.

³You can watch this interview with English subs on our YouTube channel here.

⁴Cvetličarna is the venue where Joker Out did two gigs to present their first album Umazane misli. You can watch one of them with English subs on our YouTube channel here.

⁵Alenka Bratušek is a Slovenian politican. She was the Prime Minister of Slovenia from 2013 to 2014 and is the Minister of Infrastructure in the current government.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

[crackinthecup]

Get to know your mutuals

I am so late doing this asfsd, but thank you for the tag my darling @sauron-kraut <3 <3

What's the origin of your blog's title? This poem by W.H. Auden. "The glacier knocks in the cupboard, / The desert sighs in the bed, / And the crack in the tea-cup opens / A lane to the land of the dead."

Favorite fandoms: Silm!!! I'm not very active anymore, but a few years back when I was active, it was such a vibrant, fun, and welcoming space, and I'll always be grateful for that.

OTP(s) + shipname: Melkor/Mairon, i.e., Angbang. They scratch an itch deep in my psyche. Something about the possessiveness, the blurred boundaries between self and other, the love like a sun-starved scraggly plant clinging on despite the hurt. The yearning. The grief. How there's no words, really, for the enormity of it. Ahem. Anyway.

Favorite color: Black haha—I never really grew out of my teen emo phase.

Favorite game: Most things by FromSoftware really, but Bloodborne was my first and it still has my heart.

Song stuck in your head: Sober by Tool

Weirdest habit/trait? Ahaha where do I start? I like to scream sometimes. Just one scream, for emotional release purposes. I always wear headphones when I'm out of the house as noise can get overwhleming very quickly. I can't get warm very easily; my partner will be in shorts and a t-shirt, and I'll be shivering under 500 layers.

Hobbies: Writing, reading, video games.

If you work, what's your profession? I'm a therapist, soon to be a qualified psychologist once my doctorate's done.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? Writer would be my ultimate dream job; however, I have a sneaking suspicion that doing it for work would turn it into an anxiety-filled ordeal. Therapy's the next best thing. I work with severe and enduring difficulties, and sometimes you've got to think outside the box, together with the person, to figure out how to get from A to B (or sometimes if the person even wants to get from A to B or would rather go to C or D instead, or maybe even stay at A). There's something creative about it that really clicks for me.

Something you're good at: Listening

Something you're bad at: Taking advice

Something you excel at: I've always been pretty detail-oriented, so stuff like admin, proofreading, etc.

Something you love: Cold but bright winter days

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Tolkien. Mental Health. The Locked Tomb.

Something you hate: Academia! I have this sense of a million unpsoken rules that you have to meet if you want to do well but !!! no one ever tells you what they are.

Something you collect: Rocks and crystals

Something you forget: Birthdays and phone numbers oops

What's your love language? Touch! I also like to show love by doing things for people.

Favorite movie/show: Oh, I can't pick just one. Movies: LotR trilogy 100%. Dune. Black Swan. Nosferatu. Shows: Avatar: The Legend of Aang. Hannibal. Interview with the Vampire. Haunting of Hill House.

Favorite food: Anything by @markedasinfernal tbh, she's a fantastic cook. The lasagna that she made for Christmas was heavenly.

Favorite animal: Bongo

Are you musical? I wish, but sadly not. Can't sing, can't play instruments, love music.

What were you like as a child? I was a pretty quiet kid. Bit of a daydreamer. Bit of a know-it-all.

Favorite subject at school? English literature. It was funny, I was such a huge nerd that my teacher, who actually specialised in something else but had been saddled with the English class due to staff shortages, let me do a lot of the teaching. Looking back, it was representative of wider issues in my school, but I loved it at the time haha.

Least favorite subject? Maths. My mum was a maths teacher, you see, so there was always a lot of pressure to do well and rows/punishments when I didn't do so well.

What's your best character trait? I try to be understanding. You never really know what might be going on for someone. I'll do my best to hear people out and make things work for everyone where possible.

What's your worst character trait? Ah, I can be secretive and dramatic. Not a good combo when I bottle things up and let them bubble and bubble and bubble, and then it all explodes in a Big Upset.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? I wish I didn't have to work on a deadline.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? This is super nerdy, but I'd love to talk to Donald Winnicott (psychoanalyst) because I resonate with his ideas.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

mock your own grinning by @jouissants. Just... GAH. Masterful. The prose flows like poetry and creates paintings in my mind. The characterisation is delicious and haunting. It's like a kaleidoscope. Everytime I think of it, everytime I re-read it, I find a new facet to go feral over. It's stayed with me in that special way that stories do when they make you ask questions of the characters and of yourself.

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

I think about this Melkor by the incomprabale @haedre at least once a day <3

Won't tag anyone as I'm so late doing this, but if you see this and would like to have a go, please consider yourself tagged!

[alien-til-i-stage]

TBH ID LVOE TO SEE U. LIKE. DO A FULL ANALYSIS ON ROUND 3 FOR IVAN?? if not thats okay ur js so cool bro...

AHHH I LOVE THIS QUESTION ROUND 3 IS ONE OF TOP FAVORITES RIFHT BEHIND EOUND 6

and even better yet I already did a pretty in depth analysis that i will break down for you rn. I wont analyze the song this post but if you want id be willing to in a later post heheh

(Ok so, this wouldve been done like yesterday but when i finished this analysis i forgot to save it and went to do smth else and when i came back IT WAS ALL GONE soooo there thats…..)

Round three starts off with Ivan and an unnamed character going on stage, from this episode we can see Ivan’s character being displayed throughout the song.

Some things that are displayed clearly is Ivan’s love for Till and his lack of rebellious spirit. However even this has layers of complexity I think needs to be explored.

Above, we see Ivan hanging off the building by an alien, while the other kids walking away or turning their backs to them. While he hangs off the cliff he looks up at the sky, staring at the stars instead of the alien himself. Next we see a closeup of his face as a shadow passes over him, however the stars still reflecting in his eyes.

Because it seems like Ivan is the only kid being hung off the building, we can assume this is because he did something that the aliens considered wrong. Perhaps either disobeying them aggressively or just not listening, this results in him being punished.

We can also see the other kids standing away from Ivan, almost as if trying to seperate themselves and turning their backs to him. Perhaps out of the guilt that they cannot help him.

This all leads Ivan to the lesson he learns this day. Rebellion will get him punished, he will be hurt if he doesn’t listen. In fact, this is the only time we see him being punished in his youth, showing how Ivan was able to escape punishment and physical abuse by listening to what the aliens wanted of him.

Another detail to point out is the way the shadow falls over his face. We see him bruised and crying, most likely to previous physical abuse we did not see, implying that this isn’t the only time he’s been punished.

I believe the shadow falling over his face is supposed to represent the mask Ivan wears his entire life. After this scene we constantly see Ivan being “perfect” and up to the alien’s standards. The shadow represents the mask he put on and the lesson he learned, in order to survive he must obey.

However he continues to look at the stars, something that is correlated with freedom to Ivan. I believe this is supposed to represent Ivan’s inner desires of freedom. How, despite putting on the mask and valuing his life over desires, he still has the want for freedom. He doesn’t want to be chained and masked his entire life, the desire is never taken out of him, despite him losing his own person by putting on the mask, the desire to be free is never lost.

After this scene, we continue onto these four shots that happen right after the other. He stands in the same position in each scene and doesn’t move unless he must do something. I believe this isn’t literal but rather metaphorical, instead representing his mask. He stands there, dull, and adapting to whatever sitaution he’s in, sitting at the table if needed, holding a trophy when he must, singing with everyone else, this scene is supposed to show how he does not do anything other then what he must.

Its hard to read him because he stands there with the same look on his face, as if his face itself is the mask as it never changes. This would also go to show how well this mask is for Ivan, how good he is at masking himself. He does not express his inner thoughts, he does not do what he wants, he does not move however he desires, instead he only does what the aliens want, shown by his unmoving stance in all of scenes above, he does not make any unnecessary moves, standing in place instead.

It can also be noted that despite the location changing in each picture, Ivan still holds the same position no matter what. I believe this is supposed to represent how, again, he believes no matter what he cannot take off his mask. In the auction, after he’s been bought, after he’s in Anakt Garden, he has banned himself from taking off the mask, continuing to be the perfect person that is demanded of him in order to survive, even if he won’t be punished for simply living in Anakt Garden, seen by Mizi and Sua. This shows how deeply the scene of him hanging off the building has impacted him, it influenced his entire life.

Right after this, we see Ivan standing alone in Anakt Garden, he is standing in the same position as always and he is alone. Next the red flowers pass by his face and Till runs past him. Till continues to chase the flowers into the dark corridor and Ivan watches, before following Till into the corridor.

This scene can perfectly describe their relationship and dynamic. Ivan, as we can, is alone and standing still. As already stated, him standing still is symbolic of his mask. Him standing alone is also symbolic of how alone Ivan truly is. Because of his mask he is unable to make those connections, as there will always be a wall seperating him from that.

However the only to get close to Ivan is Till. He brushes past him and that’s when he suddenly moves. He only looks at him at first, standing from afar, before following him. This is most likely symbolic of how the only person that was able to get the mask off of Ivan was Till. We know this because it was stated before that he seems to become immature and childish around Till, showing how it’s only around Till that he is able to remove said mask. He moves from his position and follows Till, something he never had to do, but something he chose to do. A decision that was finally his. I also think Ivan first watching Till from afar, then following is supposed to mirror how, later, Ivan watches both Till and Mizi stand against the guard dog. How he just simply watches first.

We commonly see Till with red flowers. These red flowers are representative of Till’s love and admiration for Mizi. When we see Till brushing past Ivan and chasing the flowers, not even paying attention to Ivan, this represents how Till continues to follow and chase after Mizi, ignoring the others around him, even if they are right next to him.

Till following the flowers to the corridor, ignoring the darkness of the path, is symbolic of how far he is willing to go for Mizi. It’s similar to the scene of Till rejecting Ivan and running back to Anakt Garden, despite it being the darkest route he could go. He continues to follow Mizi no matter where she is, even if it’s dangerous. And while Till follows Mizi, Ivan will follow Till. He also follows Till down the hall, similar to how, despite not having to, he goes back to Anakt Garden.

Right after this scene, we cut to a room thats assumed to be where the hallway lead them to. We see Mizi and Till in front of what looks to be a massive guard dog like alien. Ivan stands far away, where he isn’t seen as he watches on. Mizi is scared, seen by how she holds herself and stands in shock and Till looks hurt. He’s sitting on the ground as if he was just struck and Ivan continues to watch on.

As Till stands up, we see flashes of falling stars suddenly appearing while Ivan continues to watch Till, and once he fully stands up we can see as Ivan’s pupils dilate.

We can see, in later offical art, that this alien might not be a guard dog but rather a pet or companion given to Ivan. While it isn’t clear, we commonly see pictures of Ivan getting close to the alien or even in its mouth. The relationship between Ivan and this alien is unclear, in fact the entire existence of this alien is unclear. Such as, why is the alien attacking or scaring both Mizi and Till? If it’s supposed to be something related to Ivan, why is it hurting other humans?

The existence of this alien dog cannot be disputed, because this is the moment Ivan fell in love with Till. But it is curious about the entire situation. So let me try and break it down.

I mentioned before that Ivan seems to have a relationship with the guard dog, but I don’t think it’s a literal relationship. The guard dog is most likely trying to keep the kids out of something, however it is unclear what. If thats the case, then it would be strange that Ivan is friendly with this guard dog. I think, instead, Ivan sees himself in this guard dog.

He sees Till fighting, or trying to at least, against the dog. Something that *does* happen between him and Till during this point. The two of them get into fights because Ivan instigates to grab Till’s attention to him. He sees Till being hostile with this alien, something he believes Till is with him. Not to mention, this alien must be alone often. It’s job is to guard something, meaning it must be kept seperate from other aliens and humans and it must keep it up. It’s job is to keep others away. Ivan can relate to this as to him, his job is surviving, which indirectly results in him being alone. I believe the art of Ivan with the alien is not to say he has a relationship with the alien, but because he sees himself in him.

I also think that this is also symbolic of their relationship. How Ivan is there watching and observing Till, just seeing him in general, however Till does not notice him. He doesn’t look back at where Ivan is, because he doesn’t know he’s there. Instead he’s focused on whats in front of him right now. An alien and Mizi, similar to him focusing on his hatred for aliens and his love for Mizi.

I believe after Ivan sees this with Till and falls in love with him, he recreates this scene in his mind. We can see this with the scene above where Ivan looks at whats happening, instead this time he looks different. Before he looked with a curious gaze and intrigue, not too worried or emotionally invested. However now he’s shown with a gripped hand on the wall, with the wall showing obvious signs of damage due to someone gripping it repeatedly. We also see the eyes of Ivan, how it’s focused and this looking much more crazed then last time.

While this could also be literal, showing Ivan might be leading Till here and watching him, replaying the scene in reality, but I believe this is more then likely a scene he replays in his head, for multiple reasons.

Till would stop believing what Ivan says after a while, in fact its most likely that it was Mizi who got him in that corridor. Perhaps he followed her in there and got in that situation. Unless it was about Mizi, its more then likely that Till wouldn’t have even listened to anything Ivan says. I think the change in looks, like the hand gripping the wall and his eyes are supposed to represent how much he repeats this scene in his mind.

And as always, for every Ivan analysis we must talk about this scene.

We see as Ivan takes Till out of his restrains, showing him out of Anakt Garden. The two of them are shown running away from the building, getting far away from Anakt Garden. Yet, Till stops. He lets go of Ivan’s hand and stops in his tracks, suddenly he is scared and realizing that by leaving, he is leaving Mizi. Ivan is hurt as he watches Till running back to Anakt Garden, and he smiles. His smile is full of hurt but he is still smiling. We cut back to the stage where we see Ivan, now he is taking off his mask and finally showing his true feelings, the memories are making him emotional. However he quickly put the mask back on and finishes his song.

This whole scene is very literal, but it’s still worth analysizing. This goes back to the idea Till would follow Mizi anywhere. Just as he follows the red flowers down a dark corridor, he follows Mizi in Anakt Garden. This is a very confliciting for Till to do, it’s not as easy as it seems for him. In that moment when he lets go of Ivan’s hands, thats when the realiziation of everything suddenly hits him. He realizes that by leaving Anakt Garden, he is leaving Mizi. He looks up at Ivan in fear and guilt as he turns around and leaves him, not looking back. This shows that Till is aware of the weight of the decision he made. He knows what he lost, you can see him debating and struggling with this as he stands away from Ivan.

In the scene above, we can see both Ivan and Till running away together, they are holding hands and laughing together. This shows that while Till did reject Ivan and being free with him, the problem was never being with Ivan, in fact it seems he was excited for it. But the problem was leaving Mizi.

Speaking of this, we can see as the two of them are leaving, it’s important to note what they are specifically doing. Till is watching the skys, rushing forward in order to reach freedom, while Ivan watches Till, he is not looking towards the skies but focusing on Till and his reaction, this shows their priorities.

Till would’ve loved to be free, if it was with Mizi and not Ivan. Ivan would’ve loved to be with Till, even if it meant to be enslaved.

We see this pan out as Till runs back to be with Mizi. He wanted freedom, just not with Ivan. This hurts Ivan, now fully knowing his love is unrequited and as he watches Till leave him, he continues back. He is fully aware at this point that he is not loved back, and most likely will never be. But that isn’t what matters to Ivan, what matters to him is Till. He would be willing to be enslaved if it meant to be with him.

[rems-writing]

Ateez as Bryson Tiller songs

Pairing: none

Genre: Fluff

Wordcount: 783 words

Rating: pg-13

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

This is an updated version of yet another old headcanon I did a million years ago. I did some soul searching lol

Hongjoong: Inhale

I had a hard time choosing something for the captain. I'm not gonna lie. I compared a lot of songs, both released and unreleased, and tried to see which one fit his vibe the best. After much deliberation, I finally settled on this one. Like Crazy Form, Inhale is not overwhelming with the noise genre that Ateez is used to. I can see Joong chopping up and playing around with the instrumental on this song and maybe add a bit more layering and depth to this song. Knowing Hongjoong, he'd use that brain of his to produce something immaculate yet stay true to the original.

Seonghwa: Overtime

My brain waves naturally associated this song with Seonghwa ever since I came across an edit that used this song in the background and the edit contained clips of this fuckface showing off his grills in the behind-the-scenes video of Matz.

Yunho: Still Yours (featuring Big Sean)

I have been meaning to find a replacement for Yunho because I will be completely honest. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I put Losing Focus for the tallest and biggest member of Ateez. When I wrote this a million years ago, I was heavily focused on his dancing skills. However, I was listening to Anniversary on a loop and throughout the album, I stumbled upon this bonus track and I immediately thought of Yunho. I replayed this song and pictured Yunho singing it. I was deep into my headspace and I made a final decision to have this song be the one for Yunho. Since this has a feature, I would put Mingi on this track as well to cover for Big Sean’s part. 

Yeosang: Always Forever

Like Yunho, I didn’t know what the hell I was thinking when I put this single for Yeosang. Yeah I leaned towards his savage personality when I chose Canceled, but after going through some shit in my life and listening to his cover for Hug Me to make me feel better, I realized that Yeosang is more than just the savage man with the pretty face. He’s so much more than that and I want him to last for a long time with Ateez. So I decided to go with Always Forever. He can flex his deep honey-like voice on a song such as this one. 

San: Exchange

Good. Fucking. God. I have been manifesting this cover of this song ever since I got into Ateez. I even fucking put this song in my Valentine's series! You cannot tell me that San's voice would be perfect for this song. The airiness in his tones brings a different timbre to this otherwise aggressive song and it almost gives the song a bit more seduction rather than reminiscence. With the way San's stage presence is, you'd most likely be lured in since he is a siren and you are his prey.

Mingi: Let Me Explain

Mingi is my ult. And this song is my all time favorite out of all the songs that Bryson has released. So naturally, I paired these two together. Ever since I heard Mingi's solo song, I cannot get his raspiness out of my head. It's forever glued to my brain cells. Now imagine the raspiness making an appearance again in this song. How he's begging for you to come back and hear him out before pleading for you to stay. You don't have to forgive him. As long as he explains his truth, he'll be content.

Wooyoung: Just Another Interlude

The more I listen to this bonus track off of Trapsoul, the more I realize that Wooyoung actually represents this song. As the lyrics go, Woo can be a freak and a friend too. He's someone you'd see yourself leaning on yet get a good fuck out of him. However, this doesn't mean he's fitted for friends-with-benefits. Good God no. He's way too good for that. This just means that when you get into a relationship with him, he can either be a friend, a fuckbuddy, a lover, or all three.

Jongho: Next to You

The maknae. The 'hyung' maknae. The maknae with strong hands and even stronger vocals. We all know he loves to scream out his high notes. As it says in a guide I watched, Jongho's voice is so powerful that when you hear his harmonies, you'd think it was another instrument. I jokingly posted a Jongho pic on Instagram with this song in the background, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that he does have the potential to sing mainly in his lower register. It would be a nice contrast to everything else.

[sunnysidesevenup]

Ngl after i asked that I just stared for a good 5 minutes cringing to myself ANYWAYS

Idk if you're much of a panic at the disco fan but. I was listening to a song when you posted your Tilly art (which looks great by the way I love it 👍) and it kinda made me think. Hm.... Man. Tilly kinda gives me the same vibes as this album they have called pretty odd.

I dont know exactly how much he fits the lyrics to some of the songs but the actual sounds they have. Like. They taste the same idk how to explain it they're very vibe-ful. Although part of this might also be that the album cover reminds me of Tilly somewhat as well? In a way I can't exactly describe? The colors speak to me. In ways I can't transcribe because it's a brain special 😞 (album cover for reference)

Some of the lyrics to their songs are somewhat nonsensical (but they mostly make sense if you're good with figurative language, I'm not that great most of what I know is from reading other people's descriptions) and iirc Tilly is partially based on the Mad Hatter, which is another reason I can make a connection. I tend to associate the mad hatter in particular with that whimsy wonderland way of speaking. Mostly though there's one song in particular that makes me think of Tilly, which is "The piano knows something I don't". It's hard to explain in one sentence so I'm gonna like. Make a paragraph for each set of lyrics in particular I wanna emphasize for Tilly. I'm so bad at explaining things but I hope this all kinda makes sense

"I won't cut my beard and I won't change my hair/ It grows like fancy flowers but it grows nowhere/ My hair, my hair." <- this reminds me Tilly mostly because of what it actually means. "I won't cut my beard and I won't change my hair" is meant to represent someone being resistant to change, or refusing to change themself in some way. "Flowers" in this case refers to bad habits of any kind. By using the word "fancy" to describe the flowers, it gives the impression that the "bad habits" in question are actually something that's desirable. The reason they're desirable is because the songwriter (Ryan Ross iirc) bases a lot of his lyrics off his own experiences, and by going through bad things is able to write more profound lyrics for his songs. So when you put it all together; His bad habits are something that can be good, because they help further his career and the music he makes. But by refusing to let go of them, he's also unable to actually grow and change as a person.

"If I could build my house just like the Trojan horse/ I'd put a statue of myself upon the shelf/ Of course, of course, of course." <- this one is kinda harder for me to connect, mostly because I don't really know how to interpret it? I don't think others really know how to interpret it either, but I'm gonna go with the best explanation I've found. "If I could build my house just like the Trojan horse" is obviously a reference to the Trojan horse, where Greeks gifted the Roman's a big horse as a "gift" that was actually filled with soldiers to ambush them. People seem to have mostly interpret this by taking the word house and seeing it more as an overall representation of the writer's life, and how his life is full of surprises- So, anyone who would enter and try to become part of his life wouldn't know what to expect. This reminds me of Tilly because he's a known liar, and as you said in your last post he even lies to himself. So, how could anyone else know what to expect if Tilly himself might not even know? "I'd put a statue of myself upon the shelf" is (I didn't fact check this) a reference to an old Roman practice where people used to put small statues of household gods on their mantle as a means of worship. So, the writer is worshipping himself as the God of his own household. This kinda reminds me of Tilly because of how you tend to portray him as someone with a large ego or high sense of self importance, hence him being the God of his own household

The first verse like..... Kinda hard to connect to Tilly, at least for me. I'm gonna try my best but. It's mostly written in reference to the writer's girlfriend at the time, who was a dancer. In the verse he compares her to things like smoke from a cigarette and steam, things that don't last very long. This is taken as foreshadowing that their relationship doesn't last very long, just like the smoke and steam. I'm gonna connect it to Tilly through the argument he had about playful land with Fellow- Not only does Fellow now work for someone that Tilly doesn't like, Fellow even said himself that Tilly is a burden. If Tilly is causing problems for the people he cares about, then whatever relationship he had with them isn't going to last very long.

The next set is kinda long so I'm just gonna explain the overall verse and cherry pick lyrics if I need too. "Everything's gone missing/ I've lost more songs to floods." In this line, "songs" could represent good things in his life, and by extension how they're disappearing from the writer's life without him knowing why. I don't really know how to connect this to Tilly it just feels right to me 😞 I can smell him in the lyrics..... he's there, he exists..... "The piano knows something I don't know." This line comes down to the fact that the writer plays most of his songs on a piano, and by extension also tells his stories to it. Therefore, since it knows most everything about him, the piano might know the answers to all his struggles, and if he plays enough songs on it he might figure out what those answers are. While I don't think that Tilly has any physical version of the piano in this case, I think it's kinda more of a mental thing if that makes sense? His only dream in life is to finally not have to scramble for money, and maybe one day after all he's been through, he'll finally figure out what the answers to solve his struggles is. Another interpretation that I like is how pianos are generally seen as something beautiful and likable to most people, but the writer doesn't find himself likable. "I've lost more songs to floods" can give the suggestion that he might be forgetful, and he even compared himself to old crows in the verse, something that would be weak and struggle flying. He's not confident in himself, and is therefore envious of how well liked the piano is. This reminds me of Tilly because of that one post you made where you talked about his personality more in depth and mentioned how he would rather die than let anyone know he was secretly a caring person, and how he himself genuinely doesn't see himself as a good person of any kind. While maybe not envious of others who could be good people, maybe it's more like if he was a better person he could be of actual help to all of those that he tries so hard to help already.

How I look try to make all the connections

NSXUSKMWJDJD anyways thank you for graciously accepting my ramblings. I was possessed by the yapping demons and you happened to post at the same time that I was listening to that song and I was like..... Wait a minute....

AMSHSNHSBSGSHSH OMGGGGGG THE ANALYSIS SKHSN losing my mind rn actually. adding this song to my Tilly playlist. Okay let’s talk about this song and lyrics now too because I’m gonna add my thoughts hehe. this is going to be an equally long post akshsnhsgs my bad

I actually think the first verse (the one about the writers girlfriend/the one you struggled to compare to him) is the MOST Tilly verse but in an interesting way. It compares the girl to not long lasting things like you mentioned, “She’s the smoke; She’s dancin’ fancy pirouettes. Swan diving off of the deep end/Of my tragic cigarette.” and this is just. SUCH a Tilly line. Mostly through the thought process that he fully believes he’s probably going to die young but wants to “enjoy” life, so it’s kind of a burn bright/burn quickest type deal. Actually a LOT of the songs I have for Tilly have similar comparisons!! I also give him a lot of songs that are about dancing/him being a dancer, both literally and metaphorically.

AND ALSO NOW YOUVE GIVEN ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT MY TILLY PLAYLIST. SINCE ITS LIKE THE MOST HONEST INSIGHT INTO HIM LMAOOOO

I’m going to separate this into sections and give each section it’s necessary trigger warning, so people can read what they want out of this lol.

FIRST: the foxglove songs:

These are just, the MOST foxglove coded songs possible. So let’s overanalyze them!!! cw for vaguely suggestive stuff in the first song.

I like to think that the verses are interchangeable about who is talking about who, but my personal favorite interpretation is the first verse is Fellow talking about Tilly, and the second is Tilly talking about Fellow. I think the first verse kind of speaks for itself so let’s talk about the second.

“You can’t tie me down / but you can tie me up” Obviously this could be seen as solely suggestive but I like the idea that this is Tilly actually lying, in an attempt to deny that he’s actually attached in some way. Also yeah, suggestive still lol.

“She on an ego trip / baggage in the trunk” << Tilly talking about Fellow during Playful Land. Following this up with “the love we make is poison / it’s like my only vice.” this is the ONLY person Tilly has ever gotten genuinely attached to, and it HURTS. He doesn’t know how to handle something like falling in love, thus “it’s like my only vice” when Tilly’s entire life is a complete mess. He considers falling in love the truly horrible decision among all the decisions he’s ever made. And in this case the “made me an offer I can’t refuse” in the chorus is about him coming to live with Fellow again.

The true part of this song that fits them so well is the chorus. “Pretty please come on over and ruin my life / take my hand while we dance on the edge of a knife” is SUCH a good line for them. Both of them equally consider the other as a large change in their lives, and while “ruin” is not the correct word it’s probably the sentiment that they would express.

Pork Soda is absolutely a song that fits them during their time separated from each other lol. I mean, just listen to the song and think about it from the view of Tilly thinking about him not seeing Fellow ever again, which is what he fully believes 😭 and then vice versa with Fellow thinking about Tilly.

I mean, they are very similar people on a certain level, which is why a lot of the songs I pick out for Tilly can be interchangeable as to who is talking. It’s something I personally like about them.

Honorable mention in this section:

^^ Tilly thinking about Fellow again.

CW FOR THIS NEXT SECTION: suggestive themes, abuse, SA, in general just nsfw themes so please skip if you’re not comfortable with that.

Now for songs specifically that I think fits Tilly’s trauma and/or survival methods.

This song fits perfectly for Tilly talking about/to every rich asshole he’s gone after to sleep with and then steal from. It’s both the things he’s saying to them (flattery) and his honest thoughts during it. Especially all the lines of reassurance (“you’re younger than my dad, it’s okay”) and the kind of smug aura about it. He’s having fun not because he enjoys any of it, but because he actually really hates them and he enjoys lying to them so blatantly and having them fall for it. I like that the song also makes reference to them being “evil” “I saw the devil in your eyes” because that’s definitely how Tilly views them. Like, I know that’s not really the intended interpretation of the song but lol I can twist the lyrics for my oc’s if I want.

Okay now this is the song for all of those trigger warnings haha,,,, ONCE AGAIN. TW FOR SA AND ABUSE. also blunt talk of some nsfw stuff

Obviously the intended purpose of this song is NOT meant to be depressing but, uh. Yeah I listened to it and I definitely think it’s a song that fits how Tilly ended up doing what he does now—in the sense that the lyrics are actually people talking to him, and then later he starts singing them back. Especially the “Nobody’s gotta know / you do it like a pro” Line just SCREAMED this interpretation to me.

I don’t go into depth about Tilly’s trauma surrounding this because obviously it’s a super sensitive topic but it IS a core part of his character that he’s experienced this and continues to. While, yes, what he does now is TECHNICALLY consensual he does not like the people he sleeps with, nor do they care what he wants during it anyways. And he did not start out doing any of this consensually.

It’s a bit depressing because ajhshshsh I really like this song but I can’t get this interpretation out of my head. Accidentally rewrote the intended purpose with my character lore 😭

OKAY END OF THAT SECTION. To get past the depressing stuff uhhhh here is just some more songs that fit him. I won’t ramble about them unless I’m asked because this is pretty long already lmao.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I got a little ranking request for you: What are your Top 5 best and Top 5 worst Billy Joel music videos?

Omg okay. This is so hard!!!

Top 5 best:

Turn the Lights Back On

This is the one that makes me the most emotional. It's not even the AI younger versions of him, although those are great, but the old footage they put in at the end. Oh my god. It gets me every time. And when he turns the page from Famous Last Words at the beginning.... it gets me every single time. It's really beautifully made and I'm so glad we have it.

2. The Longest Time

This is a nice simple concept and I really love it. The old age makeup is a little goofy but it's worth it to me. I love seeing the band singing together in this one! The lyrics are romantic but the video is about the group of friends and it's nice.

3. You're Only Human

Billy Joel called this video terrible but he's just mean. It's cheesy but it makes it work. I think the cliche of homaging It's a Wonderful Life actually helps, because it doesn't take itself totally seriously. I like the narrative videos, which he would hate, but too bad. This is the only song of his that I enjoy significantly more with the video. He's great in it! He gets to ham it up and be silly and then he does the scene where he takes the kid to see the cops informing his parents that he's dead and he gets that look on his face. My heart. Playing the Piano Man riff on the harmonica is such a perfect touch. It really personalizes it and takes it from being a straight It's a Wonderful Life scenario to being a message from Billy Joel himself.

4. Pressure

This one is a really great example of surreal music videos that raise more questions than they answer. I think it's just really well-done and the effects are cool. It has some funny little easter eggs too, like "William Joel, age 29, occupation computer software."

5. A Matter of Trust

This is more of a performance video, but it has just enough narrative setting to it to make me interested. I like the rehearsal concept, even if seeing him play a guitar is weird. The comedy beat with the lady yelling at them to shut up is fun. Everyone in the street stopping to listen is predictable but it works. And the cameo from Christie and Alexa is adorable. "Okay girls, A Matter of Trust!" my heart!!

Honorable mentions that I adore but didn't make this list because I think these 5 are better: Keeping the Faith, She's Right On Time, Uptown Girl, We Didn't Start the Fire, Tell Her About It.

Top 5 worst:

Zanzibar

I don't even know what's going on here. He's released two other animated videos in recent years and those are both pretty good. This one is just weird.

2. Piano Man (1985)

I don't think either Piano Man video should exist, but between the two of them this one is worse. I hate how literally it interprets every line, I hate how brightly colored it is. I don't know if it's supposed to be comedic or it's just 80stastic but it's not dark and gritty like the song is in my head. This video represents everything he's ever said is bad about videos. I have my own extremely clear vision of the piano bar in my head from the song and this is getting in the way. Among the reasons this one is worse, it's very obvious when you look at him that it was filmed in the 80s, not the early 70s. His hair is completely wrong.

3. To Make You Feel My Love

There's no point to this, they just needed a video because they put this out as a single with Greatest Hits Volume 3. It works slightly better for Hey Girl.

4. And So It Goes

I have nothing against this it's just completely pointless. It doesn't add anything to the song. The only good part is the shot of his hands playing.

5. The Downeaster "Alexa"

I just don't like how it's edited and I really want this song to have a better video.

The only ones on the worst list I really feel strongly about are the first two though!

And then there's Sometimes a Fantasy which is both the worst and the best.

There's a video limit but I can link it.

I honestly think it's pretty well made and I really enjoy it but it's weird and it makes me feel a little gross. It just... is.

Thanks for the ask!

[cinderflower]

👄🤔🦗☕⏳

👄 Your OTP are having their first kiss. What song do you imagine is playing?

MalMiq clearly are kissing to the beautiful sounds of the envoy horns of course lol

This question did stump me because I think pretty much all of my ships are non-modern and I struggle to imagine them in situations with modern music. So I'll just pick one of my go-to songs I listen to for setting the vibes when I write soft scenes of confessions, with lyrics that I think represent the ships well.

Princes: Skin - Marika Hackman (there's literally So Many I have for princes but this is the one I listened to most when writing Stay)

MalMiq: Unconditionally - Roniit (there's also so many for MalMiq but this is the first song on my FoR playlist for a reason)

🤔What are some words or phrases you find yourself overusing?

Oh there's so many, I think right now my biggest nemesis is the word "as" purely because of how I write in past tense. I've been trying to use it less to make my sentences more dynamic and interesting but ough it's hard.

Not necessarily a specific word or phrase but if I write for the same ship enough I will reuse the same gestures of intimacy between them repeatedly and even certain phrases they say to each other unconsciously. This is what kills me in the editing process is I'll be reading a scene and realize 'oh this sounds exactly like the scene from X fic'. It happened with Princes, it's currently happening with MalMiq (how many times will there be a focus on Malenia's thighs? So many and with no plans to stop), and I'm just trying to tell myself it's fine, people who read multiple of my fics probably don't mind it and people who only read one will be reading it for the first time. I always try and make it unique though as best I can by either the situation or emotional crux driving it so even if the actions are the same the underlying motives and meanings are different.

🦗Do you write in sequence or jump around?

I very rarely write out of sequence, it's partially why I don't feel too uncomfortable posting long fics chapter by chapter, but it does mean I don't get the opportunity to go back and make minor adjustments to prior chapters to better foreshadow certain things. For example in RM because I posted it all after I finished writing I went back and added small references to Knight General Godwyn in the first few chapters so his appearance was else jarring when I did introduce him. I'd do the same thing for FoR if I wasn't posting it chapter by chapter, like including a mention of Siluria's lessons instead of introducing her presence so late, but usually it's minor things like that.

Otherwise I either have a very strong vision of what I intend to write in terms of major plot beats (even if my outlines and notes are uh frighteningly sparse and vague) and/or I trust myself to be cohesive as I write. Usually this means going back and re-reading previous chapters while writing the next one, which is why updates take longer and longer the deeper I get into a long fic.

☕Coffee or tea while you write?

Coffee for sure, I'm not a tea person at all. I also basically only drink water, coffee, and energy drinks though I'm trying to cut energy drinks back out. I'm a terrible host because all I ever have for guests is water or coffee lol.

⏳If you could go back in time and tell your younger writer self something, what would it be?

Oh I'd absolutely tell my younger self not to take a 10 year break from writing and that as busy as I am, it's worth it to continue doing something I love and not to let work/life trample on my hobbies. It's still one of my biggest regrets honestly, and I think of how much I could have accomplished in those years, but it's fine now I'm just glad I'm back to doing a hobby I love. 😊

[whataboutsimple]

What songs do you associate with your ships (if you associate songs with ships)?

I really like “Everybody Seems to Love You” (by Addison Grace) for Jesskas and “The Other Side” (from the Greatest Showman) for Magnugaard.

Hadn't expect question like this.

But it's not unpleasant! Quiet the opposite, actually.

So, I have a lot of ships.. and most of them are with Gabriel! So it'll be quiet interesting.

Poly Old Order Of The Stone

I've actually thought about them, while listening to russian song "Можно я с тобой" (Can I go with you) by AP$ENT, but to considering not everyone will understand the lyrics, I'll also put here "Happier" by Marshmello.

Gabrigaard (Gabriel X Ellegaard)

Definitely "I love you like an alcoholic" by The Taxpayers. They have this vibe of couple from 60's, who dance listening to gramophone and being very, very sweet. Though the tragic of the story is that Ellegaard will be the one to die from the WitherStorm.

Ivorren (Ivor X Soren)

"House of memories" by P!ATD. From Ivor's point of view. Nothing more to say.

Magnabriel (Magnus X Gabriel)

"Heather" by Conan Gray. Here Magnus is in love with Ellegaard, so Gabriel wishes to be her.

Jetra (Jesse X Petra)

"Knees" by Bebe Rexha. Probably from Petra's point of view, where she can't stand being in a relationship, where she's forced to stay at one place, instead of having the freedom she wants.

Gavror (Gabriel X Ivor)

"Let me down slowly" by Alec Benjamin. From Gabriel's point of few, basically him begging Ivor not to ruin his life in a matter of second, firstly when Ivor decides to leave him, secondly when he creates WitherStorm.

Aidkas (Aiden X Lukas)

I've talked about them with Captian, but basically it's "I Bet My Life" be Imagine Dragons, where Aiden redeems himself and comes back to Lukas. The song itself shows his way to redemption and how he obviously regrets what he has done to Lukas.

Sorabriel (Soren X Gabriel)

"Hurts like hell" by Fleurie. Aftermath of Soren's run away from WitherStorm, Gabriel is now left all alone to deal with his feelings, unable even to talk to someone about it, since "Hoee can you love a lair?" And it raises a while new storm in him.

VioletCrystals (Romeo X Gabriel)

"Nightmare" by Poylow. The manipulative version of the ship, where it's going from Romeo's point of view, he's very proud of himself trapping The Warrior so easily, using his kind nature and bad taste in men against him.

OceanLove (Fred X Gabriel)

"Someone you loved" by Lewis Capaldi. Do I need to say it? Fred is dead, so Gabriel is sad.

Reggilo (Reginald X Milo)

"Bad dream" by Sarah De Warren. I think it suits pretty well, especially from Reginald point of view, where he can't fully let go of his "guard" self, but at the same time he's trying so hard to do it just to let Milo in. To let him and himself be happy.

Aidill (Aiden X Gill)

"IDFC" by Blackbear. Toxic version, where Aiden kind of a.. cheater, yeah. And since Gill always acts like "the silly one", I see him pretending to not know about this for the sakes of their relationship, because who he is without Aiden?

Sorengaard (Soren X Ellegaard)

"Fairytale" by Александр Рыбак. It's actually really sweet from Soren's point of view, nothing more. Speaking about how they fell apart, but promising to find her anyway.

DeepGlass (Gabriel X Vos)

Couldn't miss the opportunity to add "Faded" by Alan Walker here. Since it's kind about how the other is lost, and it mentions the water a lot, so.. connect the dots.

Ottrian (Otto X Hadrian)

"All I want is you now" by Rebzyyx in a very twisted way from Hadrian's point of view.

Olivetra (Olivia X Petra)

"She likes a boy" by Nxdia. Here's Petra is in love with Jason, so Olivia is left alone to deal with her feelings. Maybe it's something wrong with her?

BIG BANG THEORY

Aka that one Gabriel shipping star. The "Infinity" by Jaymes Young is represents Gabriel's feelings towards any partner quiet well.

The funniest part is that now I'm left with the only three happy love songs I have, but I have no ships to attach them to LMAO