#I think I make the ship joke every time I play this tag and never use the same 3 ships for it

[slimybeth69]

Touch

Summary: The Mandalorian is quite interested in what you've been doodling. What happens when he finds out?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings/tags- eventual angst, slow burn, graphic depictions of wounds and violence, eventual non-con, eventual therapy speak, Grogu, Mando takes off his helmet, so much shit happens in this story.

This was very much inspired by the legendary Rough Day. It's such an incredible story and so well written. Don't have as high hopes for this, it's mostly just me being horny for Din Djarin.

unbeta'd, probably not proof-read because of my ADHD.

SORRY EVERYBODY ELSE

Chapter 2 ->

“What are you doing?” He asked raspily through the voice modulator. You roll your eyes. It’s the second or third time he’s asked you that since you guys found a place to let the child run around and play. Eat a creature or two. 

“Nothing.” You said it for the second or third time. He says nothing in response but you can feel him looking at you. Maybe. You’re never sure with the helmet. That stupid helmet that makes you look right back at your stupid face every time he says something stupid to you.

Okay. That’s a little harsh, per se, but he’s been harsh on you for everything lately. Little messy in the ship? On you about it. The child crying? On you. Something that you had absolutely no control whatsoever over happening inside, around or to the ship? He was fucking on you.

It was exhausting honestly. If it hadn’t been for the credits and honestly, the cute ass kid you might not have stuck around. But you were so desperate to get away. Apparently so desperate you asked him for a ride out of the Canto Casino. No, you begged.

And for whatever reason– it's clear to you now it’s because he needed someone to be mean to– he said yes. And then offered you seventy-five credits a week for as long as you stayed and watched after the kid and cleaned up after both of them. You drew the line at cooking anything because you experienced a burn first hand once, and will never do that again. Not even after he offered three extra credits a week. Not happening, Mando. No way.

Especially not for him . Being so mean all the time. 

You could see Mando out of the corner of your eye shift and try to see what you were doing in your notebook but you dropped your shoulder over it and pulled it tightly into your chest. 

“What’re you doing?” You turn your head to look at him. 

“Trying to see what you’re doing.” He said simply. It was so frank, yeah, that’s what he’s doing. Obviously . “What are you doing?” The little inflection in his words made your heart race for a second. As if he might actually be interested and not just bored of watching the child run around in the grass after small creatures to devour. 

The first time you saw the child eat something, it horrified you, but it grew to be just a little endearing the way he’d chase after it, jump and pounce on it a few times and then snatch it up for a lil’ snack. Just a quick one; the way he’d swallow it hole. You lost track of how long it’d been since then but it wasn’t a long time. Just long enough for you to forget to keep track anymore. 

“Why are you so interested?” You ask him, keeping the notebook tightly to your chest. Mando sits back and looks forwards.

“I don’t know.” He garbles through the modulator.

“Then you don’t get to see.” You tease but you wonder if he even knows what that is. Teasing . 

He’s never even once cracked one little joke with you in all this time. So probably not. Either that or he thinks you’re incredibly unfunny. Which is a possibility. You did try very very hard to impress him with whatever weird homemaker skills he expected you to have. You had literally none so he was very thoroughly unimpressed , to say the least. 

The dirty clothes and dishes around the ship were one thing, but it was the child's incessant crying that really made him ‘ raise his tone’ with you. Not really but he did say in a few very colorful words that you needed to do better. 

But really you just needed to bond with the little green sucker. Mando had thrown you into this ship with that thing? Baby? You really didn’t know or care, but he threw you in there and then shut the door and went on his merry way. For four days. Without even so much as an introduction. 

The kid was scared shitless of you for the entire time Mando was gone. It took the child almost two weeks to warm up to you. You didn’t know where anything was, or what to do, and were left to fend for yourself. It took you exactly thirty minutes of crying to figure out that the child wanted to be outside and the kid didn’t have any kind of harness or tether. Which was terrifying because what if you lost it? You had been so scared the child was going to run away but the kid didn’t. Well... did at first and then you tired it out; chasing for what felt like two hours. 

Then only once did the child have it's fill of an entire ecosystem of poor unfortunate creatures smaller than your foot, did he go back and lay himself down in that floating bassinet in the ship.

You had to lay down on the floor beside him after shutting the ship up, just to rest your eyes for a minute because that kinda cute little thing– asleep in that floating orb– had tired you out. And you didn’t wake up until that cute little thing had pried your eyelids open to show you the mess he had made. Pulled out everything that he could get his six little grubby fingers on

That had been day one . Things had gotten a little better since then. A little .

Every time you turned your back to clean up one mess, the little cutie would just run in the opposite direction and make a different mess somewhere else. This was the hardest job you’ve ever had. Easily. The child was a handful. There was something about the way he snuggled into when it was time for bed though, and it stole the heart right out of your chest. The way he’d bring you different colored rocks and bugs and show you them in wonder and amazement before he tried to eat them. When Mando was gone, it was just you two so you had plenty of time to bond, the Mandalorian was busy. Very busy indeed. 

Busy informing you that you didn’t put things away correctly, didn’t wash things the way he liked and needed to figure it out. You had to explain to him that people normally get at least a couple hours of training. Maybe a tour around, to show them where things are and where things go . He didn’t seem to understand that the reason you weren't doing a great job straight away was partially his fault. Or he just didn’t care. 

It’s . fine .

It’s almost like he’s a bounty hunter who has no patience for anything besides the child. 

And he’s got barely any for the green baby, so, it’s been a very pleasant time so far.

Maker. Okay. You’d also have very little patience for anything if you had to wear that beskar all the time. He was always in that suit, always. You hadn’t even caught a glimps of a wrist or his neck. Nothing. Not even an ankle. You knew the Mandalorians couldn’t let anyone see their faces, like ever , so you understood but, sheesh. It was always on. You didn’t even know what he did at night because you were usually asleep with the child before him. And he was always up before you.

 You told him once you’d blindfold yourself just so he could breathe if he wanted to. He’s never taken you up on the offer, surprisingly. 

So now in the present, still sour with him for being mean and because he’d never answered your question about what color his hair is, you doodled what he might look like in your little notebook you always had on you. Mostly pictures of the child because he was slowly winning you over with those eyes. And because he’s all you seen for however long you’ve been out here. But Mando had been back for a couple days. Longer than normal. You’d been spending a lot of time together, the three of you.

So for the last couple days you had been compelled to doodle Mando. What he might look like under that helmet and in some of your more explicit doodles– maybe what he looked like under that suit too.

The beskar protected him well. 

Too well.  

Maker. 

Okay, no. The beskar saved his life, protected him. Absolutely. But like, it left everything to the imagination. Which was frustrating. Because as much as you wanted to leave where you had been living, you had imagined seeing another person besides the child and Mando at least once. Maybe get a night off and talk to someone about something other than the kid, the ship and the bounty he’s currently after. 

Alas no, you’ve been stuck on the ship and now the primal desires inside of you are starting to flicker like a little flame. Tiny. Unnoticed by you, even. The doodling really was mindless at first, but your mindlessness was what Mando’s lower stomach looked like.

The notebook was still pressed against your chest. 

“So I can’t see?” He asked, looking at the child playing in the field. 

“Nope. Sure can’t.” Even if he had told you why he wanted to look at your notebook, you wouldn’t have let him. He would have had to pry it from your cold dead hands, and then you’d have been fighting him from whatever afterlife there could be. Fighting for the last shred of dignity you have. 

“I could take it from you.” He said like he had been inside your fucking head. Your heart is beating inside your throat and you unintentionally grip it tighter against you.

“I know.” You say. Your whole body frozen in fear. Like, was it a threat? An observation he had just made in his head? “ Why would you do that?” 

It was a weird thing for him to say. You’re leering at him over your shoulder, watching to see if he makes any sudden movements towards you so you can toss your notebook in the small fire he’s made. You might do it anyway because what is he even talking about? Taking it from you?

“Because.” Emotionless rasp from the modulator. “I’d like to see.” No inflection. Nothing. Just staring at the kid who was jumping off the ground slightly trying to catch a small flying bug. He couldn’t get it. 

But it had been said nicer than the other times. You couldn’t put your finger on it because it had sounded exactly the same, honestly, but there was just something behind the words he chose. 

I’d like to see.

Like he was some little kid who just wanted to look at what you were looking at. So innocent. Like he wasn’t a bounty hunter who had killed so many people in just the short time you had known him. And he wanted to look in your notebook. 

And now you had to tell him no again. Because what the shit? You can’t show him the very detailed drawing you’ve done of his pants pulled down to just the base of him and his curly patch of pubic hair that rents space there. You have no idea what the base of him looks like, it’s all made in your head. 

But the doodles are there. Sure are. In the notebook. That’s not imagined. No. The notebook and doodles are there. The notebook happens to be opened up to a page that has the deep indentation of muscles on both sides, a v of just pure rock hard strength and power that lead down to where you’ve been thinking about touching him lately. The little trail of hair that leads from his belly button; where you would oh so love to place your tongue, all the way down to where that v meets right–

Okay stop it right now, this is too much, you’re getting distracted from the point. You very carefully flip back multiple pages of the notebook so that there’s no chance that he could see what you’ve been working on as of late. But now, you peek down and check to see– the drawings of the child, okay. Phew. 

You hold up the notebook. You have to pull it back a couple inches when he tries to take it. He tilts his head down at you for just a moment when you do that and then looks back to the page you’re showing him. He studies it for so long that you wonder if he’s fallen asleep. Your arm is starting to ache. You've been holding it for so long. 

“You’ve captured his greeness quite well, somehow, without color.” He says, still emotionless but… did he just try and exchange banter with you? 

“We can hang it in the ship, right above his bassinet.” You tease. He’s so damn particular with his ship. Not wanting you to change anything . So there’s no way that he’d let you hang up a doodle of anything.

“That’d be fitting.” 

Oh my Maker. Please give me strength to deal with this- this- whatever this is. Because what he happens to be, is impossible. Impossible to read. Impossible to predict. Nothing about him is like anyone you’ve ever met.

“What was on the other page?” His modulator voice scares you, laying there silently on your stomach with your eyes closed. If you had a free hand you would have pressed your fingers to the bridge of your nose in slight annoyance. But you didn’t. You were laying on the free one and still holding the notebook. But when he said that , you pulled it back into your chest.

“What other page?” You snap. You can feel the heat rushing to your face. 

“The one you’re hiding from me.” 

Okay , Maker. Real nice. Real real funny. Give him some emotion now .

This is the first time you ever wished Mando would stop talking. Except for when he was mad at you. But now, he’s chatting you up and you wish he’d shut up. Just leave you alone.

Very funny, Maker. 

“I’m not hiding anything.” You say it so matter of factly like you’re willing it to be true. 

“I saw you.” 

“You didn’t see anything. I’m surprised you can see anything behind that helmet.” You flutter the notebook back at him in dismissal. 

Mando is silent for a long time.

“It actually helps me see-” 

“ Oh Maker . It was a joke . Do you know what a joke is?” You exclaim. “I know the helmet allows you to see better. I know that. I was making a joke.” You’re so frustrated now that you actually move your hand from under your chest and put your two fingers on the bridge of your nose and sigh. 

“You’re-” He pauses for a long time. “-annoyed with me?” 

You’re not expecting him to say that.

“I’m not exactly pleased , no. But I’m not annoyed. No.” You explain to him.

“So can I see the other page, then?” 

You throw the notebook in your bag quickly and snap it shut. 

“I think you should see if you can us food to eat, maybe? I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” You think for a second, “I’ve never seen you eat, actually, so, maybe you're not. I don’t know.” You speak nervously, the words continue to come out even though you wish you’d just shut up. “I know the kid is probably full off whatever thriving colony of small things he’s decimated. So, I’ll put him to bed while you see if you can find dinner or something.” You get up, take your bag with you and go grab the child from whatever life threatening way he’s found to entertain himself and bring him into the ship with you.

You set everything down on the floor behind the cockpit– your makeshift bedroom– and give the child a quick wipe down with a damp cloth, making sure he doesn’t have any crud or muck in any of his little fold or behind his comically large ears. And then you rock him to sleep. It takes ages– so long– for him to finally settle down and relax. He closes his big eyes while you rock him for more ages until you’re sure that he won't wake up when you lay him down. 

Which is annoying , because he can put himself down for a nap no problem, little thing tires itself out murdering small animals and just lays himself down when he’s tired, passes out within minutes. The minute the sun goes down? Nocturnal. The child has no idea what you mean when you say it’s time for bed. 

You tried to let him put himself to sleep once and Mando told you that he’d cut your credits in half if the kid ever cried like that again. It was worse than crying. It was wailing and screaming unlike anything you’ve heard in your life. The child must be rocked to sleep at night. That was an every night routine.  You deal with the child.  When Mando was around, he’d get you food during that time.

Once you were back outside, a meal had been caught and cooked for you. You assume that in your absence he fed himself, comfortably knowing you’d be gone for the next several eternities putting the child to sleep. 

“Thank you.” You’re hungry. Starving actually. You hadn’t realized how hungry you actually were. All your time and energy has been focused on keeping that little green baby alive that you have sometimes forgotten to take care of yourself. You keep yourself clean, yes. Easy to do when you have to clean the child every day. Eating and all the other stuff? Eh. Forgotten about now that the kid’s around chasing bugs and feeding himself. 

It’s fine. You’re thankful regardless because traveling around the galaxy, seeing things you’ve only ever heard about in stories . Even if you haven’t spoken to a singular other person besides Mando and the child. You have seen such incredible things and for that, you are thankful for Mando.

Very thankful.

Okay! Okay. You’ve gotta be in heat or something. Something! Because why is the way he’s looking at you is making between your legs throb? Okay now you know something is really wrong with you because what the stars, he’s got a helmet on. He could be looking over your shoulder or just over the horizon behind you but he’s got his gaze turned right to you. It’s like you can feel his eyes on you. You wonder what color they could be. Blue? Brown? Green?

“Pretty good.” You say, holding up whatever he caught and killed for you. You stopped asking what it was because you didn’t always like the answer, but it was always… edible. 

“So. That page?” 

You roll your eyes at him. Why oh why is he bringing it up again, the sun has gone down now and it’s been so long since that conversation. It’s old. Dead. Buried. 

“You’ve never taken an interest in anything I do, unless I’m doing it wrong, and then you scold me for it. Now, I’ve got one thing that’s mine and you’re trying to-” You’re huffing at him, actually annoyed now.

“A secret ?” He’s curious. An emotion. 

“It’s not a secret, it's just not– it’s not something I want other people to see.” You say very truthfully. “I don’t think.” You add to soften the statement. He’s actually talking to you about something besides the usual things.

“Why?” 

Maker, with the questions?

“Because.” It’s a simple response but it’s all you’ve got. 

“It would make me upset?” You look over at him and he’s positioned in exactly the same way he was when you looked away from him. Staring at you. You think. At least now he’s talking to you. 

But how do you answer that? 

Because yes, it would make him upset. It would make him very upset. It’d make you very embarrassed, and you think that's what's most worrying. The possibility of having to sit in the ship with him after. Now he knows that you’ve been thinking about him? Like that ? 

He can leave you here. It’s fine. You’ll figure it out. 

“No.” You lie to him. Then you feel bad for lying to him because you’re unsure if he’s even capable of lying. You’re not sure. He does seem like an innocent soul, minus all the killing. “Okay. Maybe. I don’t really know what upsets you other than when I mess something up, so I don’t really have much to go on.”

“I’m sorry.” He says and it forces the air out of your lungs like someone just punched you in the back. “I’ve–I’ve had a lot on my mind.” 

Maker, what is going on? Am I dead? 

“I shouldn’t take it out on you. You do good with the child.” 

You’re completely stunned. You cannot form a sentence. You cannot even think. Did he just compliment you? And apologize to you? Surely, you’re dead. 

“Thanks.” Is all you can manage to say and now, he’s warming up to you and you’re throwing water on the fire. 

“You could clean better, though.” 

And then you laugh because yes, you’re still alive and he is actually the Mando you barely know. And he did just apologize for being mean. And took accountability. And insulted you. 

It’s late now and the child will be awake in a couple hours. You’re asleep. Enjoying the thin mat that’s your bed and your warm blankets. You’re in a dream floating amongst the stars and skies, Mando’s floating with you, touching you so sweetly, and then, there is a hand on your arm. A strong one. 

It’s almost alarming, but then you open your eyes and it’s pitch black. So dark. Darker than you’ve ever seen it in the ship and now  it is entirely alarming. You go to scream but there is a warm hand over your mouth. 

“Don’t.” The modulated voice says quietly in the dark. You immediately relax and the terror stops ripping through you long enough for you to get angry. Very angry. After you hastily wrap the blankets around yourself, you pull your mouth away from his hand.

“Why? Why would you turn off all the lights– every single one? Huh? And then shake me awake like that?” You’re whispering, shouting at him. Your heart is still pounding and his hand is still tightly wrapped around your upper arm.

It’s quiet for a long time

“I didn’t shake you.” 

“Oh my Mak-” You whisper. “You know what I mean, you startled me awake in the darkness. Might as well be the same thing!” You’re exasperated. You had just fallen asleep and now this? Being throttled awake the way you just were? What was he gonna yell at you about now? What had he found that had made him grab you the way he had? Was still grabbing you.

“Sorry.” 

The raspy modulator voice in the dark is terrifying. Even if it’s being nice to you.

“What do you want?” You grumble angrily. “I was sleeping so well– so well and you’re throwing me around in my sleep.” You go to turn over but he stops you, squeezing your upper arm tighter. 

“I saw it.” It’s quiet, but there is some emotion behind the words. What emotion? You can’t be sure just yet. It’s something you’ve never heard from him before. It’s hard to tell in the void you’re in.

“Saw it? Saw what? How can you see anything here?” The sleep is still heavy in your brain and you’re also still terrified. Yes, less terrified knowing that it’s Mando gripping you like this in the dark and not an intruder, but why is he doing this? That is terrifying. Horrifying. 

“The page.” 

You gasp in even more pure, real horror and pull your arm from his grasp but he doesn’t allow it, he grips you tighter and in the dark you can hear him breathing under his mask. You thought you were scared before but not like this. Your heart is threatening to break free from the bone cage it’s safely hidden behind and you feel like you’re going to be sick. Your stomach is clenching and twisting inside of you. Sweat starts to bead your forehead and the back of your neck. 

“ Okokokokokok I’m so sorry. Please don’t kill me please, Mando, plea– I’m really, really scared to die and I don’t wanna go like this . In the dark? No. No , ple–  not in front of the child! Okay?” The silence around you now is deafening, you can’t even hear him breathing anymore and if it weren’t for the choking grip on your arm, you would think he had left. You’re begging for your life because this isn’t how you imagined dying. Not over doodles.

“I’m not mad.” He says quietly. Still raspy but soft. 

“Y-you’re not?” You’re too stunned to say more. Ask why, see if he liked it, nothing else comes to mind. You’re glad he’s not going to leave you outside to fend for yourself tonight. 

“Did you- did you think I was going to kill you?” Raspy modulated whispers come out of the darkness.

“Yes!” You whisper at him with a still beating like crazy heart in your chest. It’s about to burst out of you. “Why wou-” He cuts you off.

”They’re good.” He garbles quietly. 

“What is!? What’s good?” The fog in your head hasn’t lifted at all, and you’re so confused. What the stars is he talking about.

 “I looked at all of the pages.” He sighed out. It didn’t sound as gentle as it may have  meant behind the voice modulator. Still garbled and distorted. 

All the pages? All. Of. The. Pages. There were doodles of yourself in that notebook. Doodles of what you look like behind your clothes. The other pages in that notebook held secrets, real secrets and now you were even more mad at him. He could just invade your privacy? You got to have no secrets while his whole existence to you besides what he chooses to tell you? Unacceptable. The anger was bubbling under your skin now.

“You did what!?” It was still whispered as to not wake the child. “That was in my bag! You went through my stuff to get it? Are you sick?” He was holding on to you tighter and it was starting to actually hurt now. “Ow!” You snap at him and tug your arm away quickly and this time he lets you go. 

“Sorry. I had to know.” Garbled attempt at an apology from the darkness. You realize then that he hadn’t had his gloves on. You had felt his skin on yours. Hot calloused skin against yours. Gripping you the way he had been. You’d have bruises in the morning. Of his very real fingers on your flesh.

“You’re sorry!? That’s it?.” You have to force yourself not to yell at him because if this wakes the child up and you don’t get to go back to sleep, you’re going to quit. Walk right out. “You still haven’t answered my question!” He hadn’t. What did he want from you? If it wasn’t to kill you for seeing the drawings, then what did he want?

Nothingness surrounds you. For so long, you’re staring into the emptiness waiting for something . Some kind of response and then you hear him clear his throat. 

“I forgot what you asked me.” His garbled confession comes through in the dark. 

“You forgot? I just asked you wha-”

“The way you draw... it’s incredible.” You can hear him rustling through pages in the dark. The fluttery, scratchy sounds of pages, like a notebook. 

“A-are you-” You stumble over the words because you can’t actually believe this is happening. “D-do you s-still have it ?” You are fuming. “It’s so fucking dar-” and then you gasp loudly at the recollection that he  has night vision in that fucking helmet of his!

The child cries out softly in his sleep and you hear him rolling over and you and presumably him, freeze for what feels like forever before you accept that the baby is still asleep. You don’t know because you don’t have night vision. Then you whip your head back in the direction he’s in. You think he’s in. You honestly have no idea. There is no light coming in from anywhere and your eyes haven’t adjusted at all in the dark. 

You check your face to see if he’s blindfolded you. You pat your hands over your forehead and eyes when you’re completely sure that you’re just now blind for however long he wants you to be, you let your arms drop to your sides in frustration. 

“You’re still looking at it!” You point into the darkness accusingly, remembering he is in fact still holding your notebook. “Are you still looking at it?” You move your finger in a semi circle when you can’t actually decide where he’s kneeling beside you. The darkness is so disorientating. You have no idea where anything actually is anymore. 

“I can’t stop looking at it. I’m sorry.” He confesses from somewhere in the dark. “The bodies you drew are j-just so beautiful.” 

“They’re doodles.” You’re sweating. What is he doing in the dark looking at your doodles? You reach out into the darkness and you hear him take a shuffled step backwards, towards the center of the room. 

“What was your inspiration for them?” His raspy voice is different, like he’s not really here with you, it’s like he’s on that page with them.

“Just… my imagination ?” You lie in hopes he’s going to believe you. 

Silence. 

It’s anxiety inducing. He’s just somewhere in the darkness. With your notebook. 

“The woman's body is my favorite. She’s so…” Garbled modulator trails off. 

Maker. He has a favorite?  

You’re now hyper aware of the fact that if he can see your notebook in his hand, he absolutely can see you too. Oh Maker. 

Why was it suddenly so hot? When did it get so hot?

Your whole body is now prickled with sweat that he’s standing there in the dark. Assumed to be looking right at you and your artistic notebook.

There had been nothing sexual about your doodles at first. Really. They were just the only thing besides the child and the inside of the ship. And sometimes the fields he’d take you to, like the one you’re in now. So all of those things are in that notebook too. But he was looking at the couple pictures you decided to draw of yourself, because the human body is a work of art. Yours and Mandos just happened to be the only bodies around. 

“Just my imagination.” You don’t even know what you’re saying. Just words you’ve strung together fall out of your mouth for no reason known to you.

Silence for so long, you’re sure he’s not there anymore.

“Y-you already said that.” Modulator speaks in the dark.

“I did? Are you sure?” You’re one hundred percent sure you didn’t.

“Yes.” 

“What do you want? Why did you wake me up? Why are we just standing in the dark?” The questions are firing out of your mouth at the speed of a blaster pistol. “What? What do you want from me?” 

Mando say’s nothing for a long time. You cross your arms over your chest uncomfortably in the quiet. 

“Is this you? The woman?” He taps on the pages and you hear him do it in the dark. “Is this what you l-look like under your c-clothes?” 

“Why are you talking like that? What are you-” You’ve never heard him speak the way he is tonight, no. He’s commanding in his tone and what he says. Mando doesn’t stumble over his words. 

“Answer the question.” He interrupts you. “Please.” His tone is much more firm now. You’ve snapped him out of whatever trance he was in. 

“Maybe.” It’s not even an admittance of guilt and you’re already blushing in embarrassment. 

“It’s beautiful.” He’s breathless and somewhere in your notebook again. Presumably touching it with his ungloved fingers. 

In between your legs twinges. 

“Thank you.” You’re blushing so hard you think your cheeks are going to combust.

Then more quiet. For so long. It’s painful.

“Would you l-let me touch it?” He whispers through the modulator. 

“Touch it?” You don’t get it. “You’re holding it, what do-” And then you shut up because you realize what he’s talking about. It comes to you mid sentence.

It’s quiet again now. So quiet. The dark you could deal with if there was just something making some kind of noise beside yourself breathing in the abyss. You’re waiting for a response but you get nothing. A sigh from your nose. 

“You want to touch me ?” You don’t want to say it, but you’re desperate to hear anything in the void. You’re also so tired and sleep deprived because of the child, you might let him if he just got to the point so you could go back to bed. He’s been on your mind for the last week. The only reason you dream anymore, apparently. 

“Yes.” Honest and innocent garbles from the modulator. You smirk. “And-” But he stops. 

“And what?” You’re so curious what else could go along at his request. But he says nothing again. More blistering silence. It’s actually burning the inside of your ears. 

“Watch.” 

Maker, give this mandalorian the ability to say more than one word, please. I don’t know how much more patience I have left inside of me. 

“Watch what? What do you want from me?” You haven’t said no. That’s something you start to notice as you wait for him to respond to you. Haven’t said yes but you also haven’t said no. 

So, what could he want?

“Can I show you?” Your breath hitches in your throat because what the hell could that mean? 

“Oh-okay?” So hesitant. So fucking nervous. Your heart was beating fast this whole exchange with him but now it was beating somewhere in the base of your throat. Hard. 

“Lay down.” It’s said from much closer to you now, startlingly close. You hadn’t heard him get closer. How did he do that? But you obey his order and lay back down on your thin mat on the floor. You can feel him hovering over you. Then suddenly, the blankets are being torn off of you and you're exposed to the now suddenly freezing cold ship. 

He’s exposed you. You wear nothing but a thin nightgown to bed every night. It’s the only thing that isn’t scratchy in your little bag of clothes and it does get surprisingly warm in the ship at night when everything’s closed up. It’s refreshing normally, but not now. Now you’re freezing and your nipples are giving you away in the darkness at how cold and excited you are for what might be about to happen. 

You hear him respire sharply into the modulator and your nipples somehow get harder and that tingle in between your legs is back. You just made Mando gasp ? You’ve never once heard that sound come out of him. Okay, once when the child almost fell out his floating orb, but that was only once and it was different . There had been fear interlaced with that gasp but not this one.

He was admiring you in the dark through his night vision. A gasp of admiration? 

Mando still hasn’t touched you at all besides the painful grasp on your arm earlier but that was it. He hadn’t ever touched you before that, ever. Now he had asked if he could and you were trembling already waiting to see what he had meant.

“Be like the pictures.” He cooed it out, the modulator garbling it all up but still. It was cooed, you heard it with your own ears. But you obeyed again, pulling the loose straps of your nightgown down your shoulders. It was easily wriggled off the rest of you and then, the nightgown was just a mess of fabric in front of your mat. 

“ Oh Maker. ” He speaks so softly it doesn’t even sound like Mando. You start to wonder if it is really him and then he says, “More beautiful. Much more.” He sighs it out and it makes you melt into the mat you're laying on.

You want him to touch you so bad. So badly it is sending electricity through you, starting between your legs. 

“Can you s-spread them?” He asked so cautiously that you were unsure that he even wanted but the sound he made when you bent your knees and let them fall open to your sides made you start to leak from the place he wanted to look at you so badly. 

“Like this?” You knew that, yes, it’s exactly what he meant but you were now so obsessed with listening to his voice that you’d ask him anything to hear him speak. 

“Yes. Yes.” It’s said hastily into the voice modulator, like if he doesn’t answer you’ll close your legs on him. “Just like that.”

You almost jump back at the feeling of the tips of his fingers on you. Pressing so gently into the soft skin on your thighs but you remember why you’re down here on the mat, naked below Mando. That’s all he does, just traces the pads of all five of his fingers up and down your thigh, stroking you with a feather touch. It almost felt like he might not be touching you at all, like you’re imagining it. 

He exhales deeply and it registers from under the helmet. 

“Were you- were you just holding your breath?” You ask.

Quiet, his hand still stroking your thigh so gently. 

“Maybe.” 

You smirk in the dark and rest your head back on your pillow and let him do whatever he wants. Then an ungloved hand reaches and touches you the same way across your stomach. So lightly it almost tickles but you don’t want him to stop so you don’t move. You let everything be still underneath his hands. They move leisurely across your body, never stopping in one place, like he’s scanning the pages of a book and using his hands to follow along. 

You’re covered in goosebumps and almost quivering under him but it feels so fucking good that it doesn’t matter anymore. You reach out and try to put his hand where you’d like it but before you can touch him he removes his hands and you’re left alone in the dark again. 

He’s gone. You’re sure of it and you’re on the verge of tears when he says from the dark.

“Will you touch yourself?” This wasn’t a demand or an order, this was a sweet question asked by that innocent man who wanted to look at your notebook earlier. 

“You want me to do what?” Deadpan response to what’s asking of you. Because what in the stars is going on? Please help me understand, Maker. “You wanted to do it a minute ago?” Confusion. 

It’s not like you're confused about what he wants you to do, you have been with a man before but not like this and he definitely did not ask you to do that . No one else has even seen you do that before so why does he want you to do it all of a sudden? Like he’s at the theater and you’re the midnight showing. He stays silent for so long that you’re sure he left. 

“I w-want to w-watch,” Garbled muttering. “-you touch.” Now, you’re sweating again because the idea that maybe he wanted to touch you had you shivering on the floor in front of him, but now, the idea that he wants to watch you do one of the most private things you’ve ever done right in front of him? On the floor? And worse, you can’t even see where the fuck he is now that he’s pulled his feather touch away from you. 

Sweating. It’s beaded across your forehead because what? You’re still thinking about what he’s just said when a strong, hot calloused hand cups your dripping sex with much more force than before. He’s pressed the flat of his four fingers and his palm against you. It draws a gasp from you in the dark and you bring your hands up to your mouth to cover them because if the kid woke up now you’d throw yourself off a cliff.

The child thankfully, doesn’t wake up. Just cooing quietly in his floating orb.

“I-,” He starts again in the dark, to talk to you again but he’s so hesitant to say it, you can hear him from inside the helmet stumbling again over his words. “I just want to w-watch. Here” 

You exhale so loudly and so hard because again, why? What does he get out of it?

“Were you just holding your breath?” He asks in the darkness.

Yes. You had been. Maker. 

“Maybe.” You retort quickly, the heat in your cheeks is back and now you’re embarrassed again. 

“What if I ask nicely ?” The garbles do nothing to hide the tone behind his voice. He’s aroused. Deeply aroused and Mando wants to watch you masturbate. 

An instinctual buck upwards of your hips slips his middle finger between your folds and instead of pushing away, he pushes back against you and you feel the rough skin of his hands against you and starts to slowly drag his hand up your middle. 

Oh, Maker, you feel him. This is not a feather touch. No, it's so much more. It’s like all of your senses have been heightened in the dark. You can feel everything. Every ridge and callous and the heat, oh Maker he’s so warm. Like he’s been held to flames until the exact moment he reached out to touch you. You feel like hes branding you with his finger it’s so fucking hot.

“S-so wet.” He sounds like he's in awe of what you’ve been hiding from him between your legs.

As the tip of his finger leaves you, your hand brushes his and his whole body is hot like his fingers had been, you feel as though you’ve been branded again but now, your head is spinning and he probably could have really branded you and you wouldn’t have cared. 

It’s too much, he’s been talking for too long and you know what he wants now, you don’t care why. You’re too tired, you’re too excited. You secretly have been wanting just this, well not this exactly but whatever this is leading to, you want him to give you that, so you do what he’s asking in hopes that he will satisfy you, do something other than just watch.

Mando rests one hand on your knee that’s closest to him and grips it so gently it's almost like it’s not even there at all. But regardless, your hands have found what he wants you to touch. 

“Yes.” He sighs softly. “Like that.” There is a sound of relief to his voice like he’s been anticipating this for so long and now it’s finally happening. Your two fingers start moving in slow, lazy circles. You dip your fingers down to your entrance and coat them in your slickness, moving them back up to your aching clit and tightening the motion, speeding up slightly. 

Mando’s fingers dig into you. Not hard but enough to know that he’s still there, he’s still watching. You wonder if he’s naked now, or if he still has his suit on?  He definitely doesn’t have his gloves on anymore but you wonder what else he could be doing in the dark. He’s just watching you touch yourself? Watching as your fingers start to move with meaning. It’s starting to feel good… so good. It’s good enough to make you close your eyes, little pants leaving your nose as the stimulation courses through you.

The hand on your knee is gone and you’re shuddering with the idea that he’s had his fun and now he’s most surely left you to have to finish what he started in the dark but no, his hand’s cupping your breast now. Squeezing it gently in his hand. Like it’s the most fragile and precious thing he’s ever seen. One finger moves across the curve of your flesh and drags so gently across your hardened peak.

“Oh Maker .” You pant, because you’re holding your breath again. It was such a small, gentle touch you’re barely sure it was there but then he grips you, is feeling how soft and fleshy your mound is and your fingers move faster because this is the most erotic thing you’ve ever done and it feels so good to have the burning hot heat of his hand on you and you’d wish he’d touch you more and then he does. It draws another gasp from your chest when he take your nipple between his fingers and gently starts to twist and pull and roll it between them.

“Don’t stop.” He says as your fingers start to slow at the new sensation he’s giving you. “Please.” He’s being so polite, and his voice sounds so breathless. It’s making you wetter than you’ve ever been, its practically gushing out of you. You can feel it dripping. 

Mando just holds you, his fingers still pulling and twisting your nub between his fingers. You slide two fingers into yourself now, and curl them upwards against your g-spot. You hold your breath again so as not to moan or groan or make any noise at all because it’s so quiet in the ship you’re sure it’ll wake up the child. It’s futile, you gasp softly and arch your back into his hand. It’s so good. You haven’t made yourself feel this way in so long and you can’t stop now. It’s so good, the little growing ball of warmth and pressure building slowly inside you.

“Oh M-maker.” You hear Mando whisper softly into the darkness. And then he’s still. Watching you plunge the two fingers back inside of you. “So b-beautiful.” He says it so exasperated.

The sounds of your excitement are audible within the ship's walls. Like it’s echoing. Your fingers are plunging in and out of you now, your eyes are closed and your heads thrown back as you're getting yourself so close. Close so that he can watch you come.

“May I?” 

You’re so confused because he’s just asked you to do it yourself and now he wants to? Reluctantly, with a small whine of protest, you move your hand and his other hand replaces yours. Two fingers push into you deeply. Gently. He holds them there for what feels like an hour. Not moving, just holding them inside you.

“S-so, so wet.” He’s breathless behind his helmet.

 You’re sure the sun is going to rise before you see bliss, and then it’ll be too late because the kid will have woken up. 

Then he withdrawals them.

“Go ahead.” He says.

“That’s it?” You’re disappointed. It’s evident in your voice.

“Keep going.” 

So you do. You replace your fingers and his hand starts to grope you again. Moving now between your two supple mounds. And then you hear him.

Over the wetness between your legs and your own ragged breathing, you hear the soft sound of skin slapping skin. He’s touching himself, he used your juices as lubricant to touch himself. To rub all over himself. Now the thought that Mando is kneeling on the ground over you in the dark, watching you about to bring yourself to orgasm, touching himself with your wetness just about does it. 

Your fingers speed and curl against your spot and you let your head fall back. You try so hard to keep your breathing steady, anything to keep yourself from crying out. Biting your bottom lip to try and stifle it, your fingers work faster. You can feel Mando’s body shaking and jolting with each thrust of his fist on himself in the hand he’s using to squeeze your breast. You pull your knees into your body, keeping them spread so he can watch, your head leans forward as you bring yourself closer. The pads of your fingers curling and uncurling against that place deep inside of you over and over again, the feeling of your palm pressed against your clit is too much. The sounds of his soft moaning send you over the edge though, his hand gripping your chest the way he is, like his life depended on it. Squeezing you with his strong, hot hand. You can hear the way he’s making himself feel good over you.

“I’m gon-” But the words are stolen from you as he pinches your nipple, the rest of his hand still groping you. He’s panting for lost breath in his search for pleasure. 

“P-please. D-do it, m-make it wetter.” He stutters and his breath is also ragged now, the sound of skin on skin is more frantic now and his groping at you is sloppy, like he’s can’t control his hands anymore.

It happens, the bliss and the lights behind your eyes. The warmth and pressure in your lower stomach explode and you need to use your free hand to cover your mouth again. Your hips buck up against your own hand as you coax the orgasm out of yourself. Maker, it’s so good. You haven’t had a release like this since before you got onto Mando’s ship.

Now  you hear him groan softly, he grips you tightly, like he had gripped your arm earlier. Your own heart is still racing, and you can barely catch your breath but you feel the warmth on your belly.

Did… did Mando just– Did he?

He’s still hovering over you. The ship is quiet now. Just the sounds of yours and his labored breathing. He’s still groping you, holding on like he’s going to float away into the void if he lets go. 

He definitely did. And he still is. He’s still letting go on your stomach, you can feel every time he empties a new rope onto your belly. 

You lay there, hands at your sides, panting. 

It’s tempting, to reach your hand up and swirl a finger to what he’s delivered to you and then taste him. You’ve never done that but something inside of you is screaming to do it. So, you take one of the two fingers that was just bringing you so much joy and you slide it through the puddle on your belly and bring it to your lips.

Mando gasps softly and grips you tighter. He’s still watching. 

He’s salty and musky and it’s different, but it’s good. It’s something you’d let him give you more of if he wanted. You’re still sucking him off your fingers when he pulls away.

Maker. Please, you don’t want him to leave-

Mando’s fingers are at your entrance and he’s running the first digit of two between your folds, he’s not even really inside you. Just tracing your opening. Teasing you. Then his fingers are gone. 

It’s so quiet again. He left you in the dark with his good time spent still all over your belly. Running both hands over your face, dragging them down your cheeks in exasperation. 

All these new thoughts are going through your head at warp speed and then you hear from so close to you, his modulated breathing. 

“Are you still here?!” Whispered exasperation.

It's been so quiet again for so long.

“It’s my ship. Where would I go?” 

“Oh my Mak-” You’re almost in tears because he’s right. Where would he go? His bed is just across the room. “What are you doing?” 

“Tasting you.” 

You’re now a puddle in front of him. His fingers are back at your entrance again, still, just tracing and coating themselves in your wetness. Then they’re gone again.

“You’re delicious.” 

Mando was still tasting you. Currently. Doing it as he spoke to you. You hear him let out the softest sigh of satisfaction as your flavor touches his tongue. 

“I like it.” It’s said like you should know it. Like you’ve accused him of taking too much from between your legs. 

“Okay.” Is all you can manage to say because you’re hoping he does it again, you keep your knees open in anticipation but he doesn’t. You don’t hear him breathing anymore either.

You lay there and slowly close your knees. Brush the hair that’s gotten in your face away and sigh. Wonder where the fuck Mando is in this Maker forsaken dark room. You hear him now, shuffling across the room and he’s getting closer to you. When had he left? 

Mando kneels down beside you again. Maybe this is round two? So you slowly open your legs for him but he stops you with his hand and then you feel the coolness and dampness of fabric on your belly. The Mandolorian is cleaning you off, wiping you tenderly, not missing anything. He reaches down and wipes between your legs. Very thoroughly. You wish he’d move the cloth and touch you again but his touch is gone again. 

You almost groan in disappointment but you stop yourself. You didn’t hear him leave.

“You really are so beautiful. Just like the pictures.” He garbles quietly.

“They’re doodles.” You explain into the void.

“Who was the man?” 

You stay silent. 

“It’s from my imagination.” You say quietly, your cheeks flushing in embarrassment again. 

“So a made up man in my beskar?” 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Maker what do I say? 

“Okay.” You retort. He doesn’t say anything for a long time and you wonder if he’s still there in the darkness next to you. You don’t dare reach out for him in fear of being rejected again. He didn’t let you touch him earlier even though he got free reign. 

“I don’t look like that.” 

“Okay?” You whisper again, exasperatedly. 

“I’ll pose for you next time you want to doodle. ” And you hear it, the sarcasm in his voice. You honestly didn’t even know it was possible for him to do that or if he knew what it was. 

Then you hear him walking away. He’s gone, back to be a part of the void and watch you in the darkness behind his helmet. You put your nightgown back on and lay there on your thin mat on the floor behind the cockpit. Mando gets into bed, you hear him moving in the sheets. 

It’s still so dark and you wonder how much sleep you’ll be able to get before the child awakes and returns to his normal state of chaotic green cuteness.

If Mando ever asked you to do it again, you would. Not in so many words next time, but yes. You would. 

Your notebook. You wonder if he put it back in your bag but it’s too dark and quiet to check now. 

Hey, let's chat real quick.

So, this was the first Pedro character fic I ever wrote, and it was so heavily inspired by the legendary Rough Day (I'm saying it twice so no one can said I never said it)

It was supposed to be just a quick, hot, sexy little one-shot between you and The Mandalorian, but I ended up spiraling out of control and wrote over twenty chapters.

I have one chapter left until it's completely over and I thought I'd start posting it here so that once the final chapter is done-- I can post it to AO3 and Tumblr at the same time.

I'm pretty critical of my own stuff-- but this one particularly.

My disclaimers are- there will be spoilers to everything- season 1-3, the book of Boba Fett, and maybe even other things- I don't know because I didn't watch any of it.

All the crazy Mandalorian facts that come up in later chapters are just researched online. I misuse Mando'a and Manda'lor constantly so... punch me right in the face if you want... or yell at me in my asks.

Let me know if you like it with comments and reblogs and like and all that good shit. I love them.

[armiliadawn]

Hot Ones

Word count: 3500

Masterlist

Synopsis: On the deck of Victoria Punk, a simple chilli challenge turns into an unexpected duel between you and Kid, the strong-willed captain. As the pain intensifies and participants drop out one by one, a new dynamic emerges in this game of pride. But who will be the first to give in, and at what cost?

Tags: Kidxgn!Reader, SFW, platonic, consumption of unconventional food, very mild sexual innuendo at the end.

Notes: This one-shot was originally written in French, which is my first language. It was initially supposed to be written with my OC, but I thought I could turn it into a little xReader. This is the first time I’ve translated one of my texts into English, so I hope I didn’t make too many mistakes, and if I did, please don't be too hard on me 😅.It was inspired by the show Hot Ones.

Tag list: @jintaka-hane @novemberhope @imveryyellow @pandora-writes-one-piece Thank you for asking to be tagged ❤️

That day, the radiant sun bathed the deck of the Victoria Punk, flooding every corner of the ship with its golden light. The fresh, invigorating sea air carried bursts of laughter and enthusiastic shouts to you, immediately catching your attention. As you moved toward the source of the commotion, you noticed several of your companions gathered around a large table. Their voices were lively, punctuated by challenges and jokes.

As you got closer, you saw that the table was laden with chillies, each stranger and more colorful than the last. Some were small and bright red, while others were long and twisted, with hues ranging from bright green to burnt orange.

"Quincy, what are they up to?" you asked as you approached her.

Quincy, with an amused smile on her face, replied, "A chilli-eating contest. The aim is to eat increasingly hotter chillies and last as long as possible without giving up."

You shook your head in disbelief, addressing the members around the table, "You guys are completely loony!"

Kid, who was sitting with the participants and holding a chilli in his hand, heard you and turned to you with his usual arrogance. "What? Are you afraid of a few little chillies?"

You frowned, sensing the provocation in his voice. You knew Kid loved to tease you, but you weren't in the mood to let that happen. "I'm not afraid of your chillies, Kid. I just think it's... stupid."

Kid arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms, a smirk stretching across his lips. "Stupid? Or maybe you know you won't last," he replied.

Your pride took a hit. You hated being challenged like that, especially by Kid. You knew he was playing on your ego to get you to participate, and it was working. "All right," you said, straightening up, determined. "I'll show you what I can do."

You joined the table under the astonished and amused gazes of the other crew members. There were now a dozen of you, including Bubblegum, Wire, and Killer. Heat, for obvious reasons, wasn’t participating; he was playing the role of referee.

Wire watched you settle in, wondering if you knew what you were getting into. "Are you sure? These chillies are fearsome."

You kept your gaze fixed on Kid. "I'm ready. Give me those chillies."

Kid stared at you, a gleam of satisfaction in his eyes. He knew he’d won this little battle by provoking you. "Welcome to the competition. May the best one win." He handed you a long green chilli, the mildest one to start with.

"May the best one win," you replied, not lowering your eyes as you raised your first chilli in defiance.

Heat announced the start of the challenge. Without hesitation, you bit into the chilli, feeling an immediate but entirely bearable burn. You chewed and swallowed, your gaze never leaving Kid's.

The first round started off gently. The chillies were moderate in intensity, and everyone ate them without trouble. You felt a slight burn - nothing unbearable - but you knew it wouldn’t last.

The following rounds intensified quickly. With each new chilli, the participants' faces contorted in pain, their eyes filling with tears. Bubblegum and Hip dropped out after only three rounds, and Papas had to forfeit in the next round, choking on the seeds of his Apache chilli. Only you, Kid, and Killer remained stoic. When Wire threw in the towel, trying to tear out his tongue, only the three of you were left in the competition.

The chillies were lined up in front of you, each one redder and smaller than the last, signaling increasing intensity. Kid and you continued to eat while challenging each other with your eyes, your faces reddening slightly from the heat. The other crew members watched with fascination and amusement.

You chewed another chilli, this one quite strong. The burn spread through your mouth and down your throat. It took great effort to contain yourself and not show how painful the sensation was. You noticed that Kid was also beginning to falter under the heat, his breathing becoming heavier, and sweat beading on his forehead. Yet, he refused to give up before you did.

To divert attention and show Kid that you knew exactly what you’d gotten yourself into, you asked him in the most impassive tone you could muster, "Do you know what the Scoville scale is, Captain?"

Kid looked up at you, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Scale of what?"

You smiled, making yourself comfortable. You leaned back in your chair and put your feet up on the table, looking relaxed despite the intense burn invading your mouth. "The Scoville scale," you repeated. "It’s a measure of the strength of chillies and other spicy substances. It assesses the concentration of capsaicin, the chemical component responsible for the burning sensation."

Kid shook his head, surprised. "Never heard of it. And first of all, how do you know all this?"

You could detect a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. Seeing you so relaxed seemed to exasperate him, which delighted you.

Managing to keep your cool despite the fire in your mouth, you took another chilli, chewing it slowly to show you were still holding out. "I read it in a book once and remembered it, but who cares how I know that? It’s not important. The more capsaicin a chilli contains, the higher its score on the Scoville scale. For example, a mild chilli like a bell pepper has a score of zero. Jalapeño peppers - the ones we ate at the beginning - have around 2,500 to 8,000 Scoville units. And these that we're eating right now," you pointed to the small, bright red chillies in front of you, "are probably well over 100,000 Scoville units."

You let those words hang in the air, watching your captain's face with interest. You could see from his posture and the intrigued look in his eyes that he was thinking about what you had just explained.

Kid stared at you, trying to hide his growing embarrassment, but he couldn’t deny that your little explanation had piqued his curiosity.

"And the strongest ones, how many units do they have?" he asked.

You smiled at him, pleased to have captured his attention.

"The strongest can reach over two million Scoville units. That gives you an idea of the torture we're putting ourselves through. Beyond two million, we’re talking about self-defense weapons and harmful substances."

Kid grunted, trying to maintain his arrogance despite the obvious pain. "You might know all that, but here, it's practice that counts."

You straightened up, your eyes gleaming with defiance. You couldn’t deny it, he was tenacious, and it didn’t surprise you. But you refused to back down in front of him. You were going to win this little game, even if it meant losing half your taste buds. It’s worth it!

"Very well, Captain. We'll see who lasts the longest."

The words left your mouth with determination, and deep down, Kid felt something different stir within him. It wasn’t just pride or the desire to win. It was a strange mix of respect and amusement, something he wasn’t used to feeling. He couldn’t recall the last time someone had looked at him with such defiance without backing down. Until now, few people had dared to stand up to him, especially not in such a trivial challenge as this. But this time, something was different. You didn’t waver, showed no sign of weakness, and that stirred his curiosity as much as his pride.

He bit into another chilli, trying to dispel these thoughts by focusing on the pain spreading through his mouth. But even the intense burn couldn’t silence that little voice in the back of his mind, the one whispering that this challenge was different, that you were different.

"You know you can still back out," he said, trying to keep a disdainful tone, but the grimace of pain twisting his features betrayed his bravado. The pain was real, but what worried him more was the idea that you wouldn’t give up as easily as the others. And a part of him - a part he wasn’t ready to admit yet - found that strangely... exciting.

"Dream on!" you retorted with a confidence that shook his certainties. Your piercing gaze, your categorical refusal to give up… all of it stirred an unexpected curiosity in him, mixed with a hint of admiration.

Kid clenched his teeth, not only to endure the burning sensation but also to suppress the smile that threatened to betray his thoughts. He couldn’t help but wonder just how far you were willing to go. But one thing was certain: this challenge was no longer just a trivial contest for him. There was now a much greater stake than he could have imagined, and the idea of discovering where all of this might lead fascinated him more than he would have thought possible.

You grabbed another chilli, your eyes locked on his, defying any apparent pain. You could feel the burn traveling down your esophagus, and you knew your limit was close, but you had to hold on just a little longer! Kid was about to crack; you could sense it.

Kid, feeling the pressure, continued as well, but his movements were becoming less and less assured. Around you, the other crew members murmured among themselves, impressed by your resilience, your ability to withstand the pain, and especially by your audacity in standing up to the captain like that. Quincy, in particular, watched you with an amused smile.

Meanwhile, Killer, still unperturbed, ate his chillies with disconcerting ease, as if the burn didn’t affect him at all. Despite his apparent nonchalance, he didn’t miss a single moment of the showdown between you and the captain.

This wasn’t the first time they had faced off in a chilli duel, but this one was particularly entertaining. Rivalries and challenges within the crew were commonplace, but this competition had a special flavor, a mix of reckless bravery and misplaced pride.

Killer, as an astute observer, had noticed something that made him even more attentive: Kid, usually so self-assured, seemed unsettled. He had caught the way the captain looked at you, a mix of frustration and astonishment in his eyes. Your confidence, your tenacity. It was new to him, and it was throwing him off balance. Killer knew that Kid wasn’t used to this kind of resistance, especially from someone like you.

Seeing his friend, usually so arrogant and domineering, gradually lose his composure in front of someone who didn’t back down was a rare sight. And Killer, despite his impassive demeanor, relished every moment of this duel, wondering how it would all end.

House, always on the lookout for an opportunity to make things even more interesting, had taken the initiative to start taking bets from the crew members, further fueling the enthusiasm and excitement around this ridiculous competition.

Kid, despite his efforts to remain stoic, could no longer hide the pain. His face was now as red as his hair, and he was sweating profusely. Each chilli seemed to be an increasingly unbearable ordeal. Finally, he placed his half-eaten chilli on the table, breathing heavily.

"Alright, you got me," he said grudgingly.

You let out a small cry of joy, savoring your victory.

"That's what I thought." You set down the last piece of chilli you were holding and turned toward Killer, who still seemed as comfortable as ever. This man definitely isn’t human!

"I suppose you're the undisputed champion?"

Killer nodded with a smirk that you could sense beneath his mask.

"As usual. But you can always try to beat me if you feel up to it," Killer replied with his usual calm, his voice steady in contrast to the excitement buzzing around you.

A collective murmur of excitement swept through the crew, stirred up by the barely veiled challenge from the blond-haired man. The already charged atmosphere crackled with renewed energy, and all eyes were fixed on you, eagerly awaiting your response.

You narrowed your eyes upon hearing Killer's remark. You hadn’t expected this provocation from the First Mate, but the dopamine and endorphins coursing through your body gave you a rush of confidence, and you didn’t hesitate long before responding.

Taking a deep breath, you bit into the last chilli, the most formidable of the selection. The burn that followed was immediate and devastating, as if a wave of fire was crashing through your mouth, quickly spreading down your throat and into your stomach. If up until now you had never been aware of your insides, you certainly were now. Your face contorted in intense pain, and you felt your eyes fill with tears. Every breath became a challenge; the air entering and leaving your lungs seemed to amplify the burning sensation. In desperation, you pounded your fist on the table, trying to contain the pain, but it was too much. Your body reacted in every possible way to make the agony stop: your forehead was drenched in sweat, your stomach was knotted, and it felt like molten lava was pouring inside you. Your hands trembled as you gripped the table, hoping to find some anchor in this storm of heat.

"Okay! I admit defeat," you finally gasped, your face flushed from the effort and your eyes completely blurred by tears.

Killer finished his last pepper with an almost arrogant nonchalance. He leaned toward you, a satisfied smile forming beneath his mask.

"Well played," he whispered in your ear. "But it seems I’ll be keeping my title a little longer."

Around you, the crew members clapped and laughed, some rubbing their hands together as they collected their winnings from House. Even Kid, though defeated, seemed impressed by your determination.

House, having finished collecting the bets, approached you with a glass of milk to soothe your burn.

"You’ve earned it," she said, handing you the glass.

You took the glass with gratitude and sipped it, hoping the cool liquid would finally extinguish the fire raging in your mouth and throat. You felt slight relief, the milk offering a brief respite from the intense pain.

But as the laughter and cheers continued around you, you felt the burn return, more insidious and persistent. The milk had soothed the surface, but the lingering heat from the chillies continued to gnaw at you, relentless. You knew you needed to find something more effective.

A few minutes later, you found yourself in the kitchen, desperately searching for something to soothe the unbearable burn of the chillies. You opened the fridge and spotted a large can of whipped cream. Without hesitation, you started emptying its contents directly into your mouth, savoring the soothing sensation of the sweet coldness on your inflamed tongue.

The relief was immediate. The cool sweetness of the whipped cream coated your tongue and throat, finally quelling the fire that had tormented you. Leaning back against the counter, you savored the feeling of respite, eyes closed, a sigh of contentment escaping your lips.

As you continued to empty the can of whipped cream, a part of you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the crew’s reaction - especially Kid’s - if they saw you in this situation.

At that moment, Quincy walked into the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw you, cheeks puffed out with cream, an expression of satisfaction mixed with embarrassment on your face.

"Well, it looks like someone had a tough day," she said, laughing softly as she walked into the kitchen and closed the door behind her.

"You're lucky it was me who walked in," she continued. "If it had been one of the guys, you’d be getting smutty comments that would follow you to the end of your life and beyond."

You lowered the can of cream and wiped the corner of your mouth, trying to appear somewhat dignified. "You can say that again. Those chillies were... worse than I thought."

Quincy approached, a teasing smile on her lips. "And yet, you lasted longer than Kid. He’s never going to live that down."

You shrugged, taking another sip of whipped cream. "It wasn’t just about beating him. It was a matter of pride. I couldn’t let him think he could outdo me that easily."

Quincy laughed and pulled up a chair to sit across from you. "You know, I think you impressed him," she said. "So, how does it feel to be the new chilli champion?" You smiled at her, despite the lingering burn. "I’m not the champion. Killer remains unbeatable. But I have to admit, it was intense. I’ve never felt something so... painful and exhilarating at the same time."

Quincy nodded, her smile widening. "I always knew you had a competitive spirit, but you’ve surpassed all my expectations this time." She glanced at the can of whipped cream in your hands. "So, is this your secret remedy?"

You burst out laughing, instantly regretting it as the pain flared up again. "The milk wasn’t enough. And honestly, whipped cream... it’s a stroke of genius right now."

You paused, staring at the silver can in your hand. "I’ll need to come up with an explanation for Killer; he hates it when we rummage through the kitchen without his permission."

Quincy nodded in agreement, looking at you with undisguised admiration. "You know, it doesn’t surprise me that you’re capable of anything. You and Kid, you really are an explosive duo."

You raised an eyebrow, curious. "What do you mean by that?"

Quincy smiled enigmatically. "Just that you push each other to be better. Even in the most absurd things, like eating chillies." She stood up and headed toward the door. "Take your time. Get some rest. And maybe avoid chilli challenges for a while, okay?"

You shook your head with a grateful smile. "Yeah, I think I’ve had enough for a lifetime." You raised the can of whipped cream in a gesture of thanks. "Thanks, Quincy."

Quincy gave you a wink before leaving the kitchen. Once alone, you leaned back against the counter, savoring the coolness of the whipped cream and reflecting on what had just happened. The pain from the chillies was slowly fading, replaced by a sense of satisfaction. You had taken on the challenge, and even though you hadn’t won, you had proven that you could stand up to the best, and that was enough for you.

After emptying a good portion of the whipped cream, you finally felt ready to head back to your quarters. As you stepped out, you ran into Kid in the hallway. He looked agitated, holding a glass of milk that he was sipping frantically, but it was clear the burn wasn’t easing. His features were still marked by pain, and he shot you an exasperated look as he saw you.

"This damn milk isn’t doing anything," he grumbled, visibly frustrated by the lingering burn.

You couldn’t help but tease him a bit as you saw him like that. You offered him the half-empty whipped cream spray that you still had in your hand.

He looked at you first with confusion, then with a hint of suspicion. "Seriously? Whipped cream?"

You shrugged with a mischievous smile. "Trust me, Captain. It’s more effective than milk."

Kid hesitated for a moment, but the persistent burn convinced him to give it a try. He took the can, pressed the button, and within seconds, a cloud of sweet cream filled his mouth. His expression softened slightly as the soothing coolness brought immediate relief.

Kid closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the calming effect of the whipped cream. It was far from the most manly or elegant solution, but at that moment, he didn’t care at all. The burn was fading, and he could finally breathe without feeling like his throat was on fire.

He opened his eyes, meeting your gaze with a mix of gratitude and a hint of irritation. "I hate to admit it, but you were right," he mumbled reluctantly.

You couldn’t help but smile, impressed by his admission. "Don’t worry, I won’t brag about it... well, not too much," you replied before turning on your heels, ready to head back to your quarters.

As you walked away, you could feel his gaze lingering on you. Although Kid didn’t say anything further, you sensed that something had shifted in the dynamic between you. He might not be ready to acknowledge it, but this exchange, light as it was, had left a mark. A small, silent victory that followed you to your cabin, leaving you with a satisfied smile on your lips.

***

The next morning, as everyone gathered for breakfast, a shout of discontent rang out from the kitchen.

"Guys, who emptied the whipped cream can and put it back in the fridge empty?"

Killer, visibly annoyed, stormed into the common room, holding the empty container aloft, his sharp gaze scanning the room for the culprit.

You couldn’t help but sigh as you imagined what must have happened the night before. Kid, in his infinite wisdom and unable to resist the temptation to finish off the whipped cream, had discreetly placed the empty can back in the fridge, hoping to go unnoticed.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, thinking to yourself that you were going to have a word with your idiot captain.

[purrpl-png]

What is your opinion on Beast x Ancient?

sighhh deep down i knew someday ill have to answer this question😞

i dont really like participating in ship discourses and it turned out a little longer than i thought, so im placing it undercut for those who are interested enough to read what i think

the answer is that its not for me. at least not in a romantic way. at least not for now. i was never really a fan of ships with complicated/toxic dynamics or hero x villain or rivals at all. for example, i never liked billford or tomtord or even sonadow and stuff like that. not that theyre entirely bad, its just not for me and gives me discomfort, because i was in toxic relationships myself and i just can't help but associate them with my personal experience. this includes beast x ancient and even some of the beast x beast too with the way i portay beasts characters in my mind, but its not about them

honestly, i am not really into shipping in general as i cant really understand or process the concept of shipping in my mind as a whole, if it makes sense. like i personally never truly understood the exact point of it nor felt the urge to ship. but i do understand that shipping plays a huge role in every fandom and its just how it is, people having fun, even if i am somewhere far away from all this. ofc i drew a couple of 'shipey' things out of pure joke or to play with some dynamics for fun (ex. my shadowbill animation and buttervelvet post), but never went any further than that. doesnt mean that i dont ship anything at all, trust me, i actually love some ships, but its not like HUGE for me and is very rare, it's just very difficult to explain exactly

dont get me wrong, id LIE if i said that i dont like to see beasts and ancients interact with each other. id lie if i said i dont enjoy the possibility of many interesting scenarios between them and an idea of slow redemption arcs either. all these parallels and tragic doomed soulmates stuff is SICK AF, i like their dynamics and contrasts between the characters. their bond is like a foundation of life itself; their virtues cannot exist without each other, no matter how much they like it or not and theyre complete opposites, but at the same time theres NO ONE whos is more similar to them than they are to each other. all of them are the only perfect match to confront each other and its such a peak cinema i wish more people didnt sleep on, because theres SO much you can do with it💔

unfortunately, i saw a lot of people romantize/fetishize very weird things iykwim... ive seen some HORRENDOUS bad terrible uncomfortable stuff i wish i didnt, that i clearly dont support and dont interact with :( it even made me block some of the tags. and while im still here, i want to remind that i have pr0ship in my dni, so if youre a pr0shipper reading this, please, unfollow/block me, because ive seen some interacting with my posts before😞

and just to add, of course i know that most of beast x ancient shippers dont do that, because some of my online AND irl friends i knew for YEARS and i sure know they wouldnt hurt a fly in their life and dont approve of such things at all either, liked beast x ancient, but i still prefer not to engage with it anyway just in case. lets just say i am extremely neutral/apathetic to everything unless its something bad and harmful

thank you for listening to my little yap session, i hope any of it made sense, i am not really much of a public talker honestly and interacting with any fandoms and people in it usually gives me some kind of anxiety and mixed feelings, because im struggling with comprehending peoples attention. its been like that for years and ongoing even now, but im really trying to open up a little as a person and not just a rando who usually drops their drawings once in a while and disappears until the next time lol

[krisnixprisonwedding]

Saw ur tags abt endgame krisnix and I'm 👀 curious. Cuz personally I'm a huge fan of their divorced vibes n the way they Cant work out, so I'm So curious as to what endgame krisnix would look like to you

hello and thanks for your ask! before i answer it, i am going to lay down three (3) disclaimers that might end up being longer than my answer itself.

1. i exist in the shipping multiverse, where any number of ships could work out or not work out in my mind depending on the conditions. i have very few "endgame" ships (fradrian and gumworth pan out in most of my universes), and the rest of the ships i like live in some schrödinger's state of existence for me.

2. i love to play with possibilities. exploring possibilities is the real fun of fandom for me - that's what makes fandoms transformative! the ace attorney canon is also so goofy and impossible that i love to think of what conditions could make a ship happen while still technically not contradicting canon.

3. i am, above all else, a playful contrarian. i started this blog because i'd have several people tell me that only one ship, a certain very popular one, had any chance of being "endgame." to which my lightly salty response was to make a blog called "krisnix prison wedding."

now that we've got those out of the way, here are my thoughts on endgame krisnix:

how it happens

- all of my long game kristoph ships take advantage of the fact that kristoph is never mentioned again after aa4. they threw him in the basement so i'm dragging him right back out again while capcom doesn't even notice 😂

- all of my long game kristoph ships take advantage of the fact that miles edgeworth has canonically pulled the strings of the justice system before in the service of people he knows and cares about. i'd argue that if klavier went to his boss and begged him not to have the state execute his only apparent living relative, edgey would find a way to commute his sentence. (bonus points if phoenix and edgey are in a relationship, and phoenix also begs edgeworth for clemency despite what kristoph has done)

why it happens

- you bring up a good point about kristoph and phoenix having divorced energy. think how much more potential for married-divorced energy there is if after all the insanity of the 7YG and aa4, kristoph and phoenix are still addicted to each other and, more importantly, still attracted to each other.

- midnightbrightside once tweeted something to the effect that kristoph and phoenix knew each other on both an intimate and mundane level over 7 years, and so they actually probably know more about each other than phoenix and edgeworth do bc of the amount of time they spent together. there is a force of habit but also a comfort and familiarity of having someone be present and stable in your life for that long. phoenix is a chronic attachment issues girlie and while i know he wanted to see kristoph punished for his actions, i'd be surprised if he wanted him out of his life permanently. kristoph would DEFINITELY take much longer to come around after his pride was shattered, but phoenix is patient and kristoph can't fully resist someone who gives him attention

what it looks like (partially a joke, but i'm not saying which parts)

- prison date visits with phoenix's sweetheart, much to the chagrin of literally every other AA character. apollo punches phoenix's lights out when he finds out that phoenix is back together with the guy who phoenix manipulated him into imprisoning

- kristoph showing progress in court-ordered therapy by gritting his teeth and saying to phoenix, "it is hard for me to admit when i feel vulnerable." he looks furious, but one of the black psyche locks breaks and that's good enough for phoenix

- house arrest anklet is the perfect accessory for date night!

- later, when the wounds have healed, they can laugh and banter about it! it makes everyone uncomfortable at parties when they tease each other about all the heinous and unethical shit they pulled to take each other down!

a final, more heartfelt note

idk, i like to think of how characters can grow and transform! kristoph is so interesting and tragic to me because he doesn't seem to know how to experience intimacy outside of his weird games. he wants to be close to people, but he doesn't know how and his paranoia won't allow him to. phoenix seems to struggle with the same thing minus the control and manipulation issues. i like to think about what post aa4 growth and closure would look like for them in a series that refuses to give it to us.

thanks again for the ask!

[queenie-ofthe-void]

Headcanon Game

I got this idea when I came across @ladykailitha's post about her Steve Harrington headcanons. They were absolutely lovely and I'm really curious about other people's headcanons too. It doesn't have to be just Steve, pick anyone you'd like to gush about!

Rules

-> Share 5 - 10 headcanons about your favorite Stranger Things character or ship

-> Tag the number people for as many headcanons you list (Or don't, no worries! Tagging can be stressful and this should just be for fun!)

@steviewashere @lingeringmirth @theheartofthekoko

@devondespresso @finntheehumaneater @cuips-not-cute

@rindecision @katyawriteswhump @chaosgremlinmunson

@unclewaynemunson

Bonus @ladykailitha (if you've got more to share!)

Queenie's Steve Harrington Headcanons

-> Steve let Max keep the bat after season 2. He teaches her how to hold it properly, how to aim it and step into the swing. Once the snow starts to melt, they play softball in Steve's backyard, with Lucas occasionally joining in.

-> Steve teaches Lucas how to fight. Lucas wants to learn how to defend himself after Billy, and he idolized Steve for being strong and brave enough to stand up for them all. Lucas gets on Dustin's case every time he makes a joke that Steve never wins fights.

-> Steve's ok with Mike hating him. He understands because he felt the same misguided pointless anger when he was young, and is ok with being the kid's verbal punching bag. Will's small crush on Steve doesn't help Mike's attitude either, even though Steve knows the kid doesn't get that's why he's angry.

-> Steve is the only teen that El feels comfortable with. The loving edge to his bitching reminds her of Hopper, and he can make her laugh. He teaches her how to do her hair and sneaks her and Max into the mall when he works Saturdays.

-> Steve and Robin are in each other's pockets. With them, there's no such thing as TMI. She had to help him shower and bathe after the Russians, and he answers all of her sex questions without judgement.

-> Steve has vision and memory problems after the Russians. At first, Robin has to guilt him into wearing glasses. But he eventually starts wearing them in front of the kids. They call him a nerd. He takes it as a compliment, since all of his favorite people are nerds too. 

-> Steve loved Nancy because she was a safe space for him, not because he loved her for who she was. It took him until after S4 to realize that that's why he started having feelings for her again in S4 after he (truly) got over her in S3.

-> Steve never warms up to Jonathan (sorry stonathan fans! no shade). He's gotten over it enough to save the world and be around the kids. They've both genuinely apologized to each other, but the feeling is mutual. He can't forgive the cheating or the pictures.

-> Steve spent middle school thinking it was normal to want to date Tommy and Carol at the same time because the three traded off and on until high school. Steve finally asked Tommy on an actual date, but Tommy panicked and called him a queer- the first he'd heard the word. They played it off as a joke, but Tommy and Carol started dating immediately after and Steve leaned in to being a player. 

-> Steve feels physically uncomfortable around Eddie, whose casual physical affection is something he hasn't been used to from a guy since Tommy. After S4, the two grow closer, and he starts leaning back into Eddie's space. Steve's favorite touches are when they smoke together, and he gets to lay his head in Eddie's lap while he plays with Steve's hair.

[catt-crossing]

Get to know your mutuals! :D tagged by @unsettlingcreature thank you husband <3

-What's the origin of your username? I decided to make my blog bee about animal crossing as that was super popular back in 2013 which is when i made my blog! Also, cat-crossing was already taken and tbh. I like my extra aesthetic t :3

OTP(s) + shipname: I don't have too many ships that are super important to me, aside from Yato and Hiyori from Noragami. So, Yatori or Hiyato? Both work though I think I like the first a little more.

Favourite colour: Ourple......specifically lavender/pastel shades, but I love all purple shades.

Song stuck in my head: None currently as I'm listening to music right now, and what's on is Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson.

Weirdest habit/trait: I'm not actually sure atm. Most are just bad habits like food and sleep, etc.

Hobbies: Video games, drawing, watching anime/cartoons, reading, more I can't think of rn.

If you work, what's your profession? Cashier, cleaning, food prep/putting away food, handling deliveries, and doing bookkeeping. So, whatever you call that? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you could have any job you wish what would you have? I actually would love a job playing video games, it's my favourite hobby. So, technically, youtuber or twitch streamer? (Why does typing that out sound cringe 😔) However, I do eventually want to create some kind of story, I just don't know what media it would bee for exactly, like book, show, comic, etc. (Most likely start off as either a book or comic and then see where it goes from there??) So I guess also artist/writer?

Something you're good at: Paper origami stars and I guess video games, idk. Cleaning?? This is never a good question to ask me :')

Something you hate: Those dumbass live-action disney remakes. Yes, I just got an ad for snow white ��

Something you forget: To go to bed on time :/ Listen...I don't have enough free personal time just for me and it makes me feel insane so I'm taking every little minute I can get <3 Though I was planning to sleep earlier tonight, but, alas.............

Your love language: Quality time, you can fit every other one into that. I don't like the concept of love languages anyway, though.

Favourite movies/shows: Noragami, Bee and Puppycat,Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Castle In The Sky

Favourite food: Filet Mignon, and chicken nuggets :]

Favourite animal: Frogs, penguins, cats, pandas, slugs

What were you like as a child? Extremely quiet/"shy" (undiagnosed severe social anxiety teehee), I think I was nicies though. I usually tried to bee on my best beehaviour as adults beeing mad at you Was Scary (for reasons I'm not going into) <3 LOL

Favourite subject in school: English

Least favourite subject: Math, I think I genuinely have some trauma from it, but I'm not unpacking all of that here!

What's your best character trait? Uhhhh kindness and consideration, I guess? Idk ;w; I just try my best to bee both of those things always

What's your worst character trait? I don't know. I mean, I'm garbage at confrontation/standing up for myself, but that's also a majority of my social anxiety/anxiety in general's fault so like again idk. I don't like questions like these !

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Can I say my financial situation 😔Cus having more money/having an increased income at the very least would help. Otherwise, MORE SPACE. My bedroom is essentially a fucking walk in closet :)

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Anomalocaris, not joking. I love them. Honestly, maybee a relative from hundreds or even thousands of years ago? I just think it would bee neat. (I would elaborate more, but I'm sleepy)

Tagging: @firethekitty @serirei @effigyofowls @arbushq @otteritos @thebigjawpokemon @majormeilani @micechicken @pumpkinspice-unicorn @silverstarsabove @owlgirl18 @cuccosneverdie @lovelyangemon @bluephoenix9-8 @ominouslyqueer @sunshineinantartica and anyone else who sees this!! However, no pressure if you don't want to <3 :D

[ingravinoveritas]

cloud-based-and-rainpilled replied to your post: 

Someone mentioned in a comment that Michael got ‘downgraded’ to boyfriend, so my tinfoil (again, could be wrong/insane) is that AL & GT referring to each other as wifey is to downplay the previous MS ‘wife’ jokes, since people keep commenting about a poly thing going on, moreso than the past. Also since MS is in London rn, he’s with DT more, so I think there’s a bit of insecurity going on. a lot of (doomed) poly couples have an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule, or think the swinging being gay 'doesn't count/isn't a threat,' which could be why the posts feel forced. (parasocial, creepy, bad person, etc., whatever, I calls it as I sees it and have seen it before 🤷‍♀️ )

lepqueen replied to your post: 

My biggest question on this was actually about the song choice, given that I am reasonably sure Sting said at some point Every Breath You Take is a stalker song.

@cloud-based-and-rainpilled I had a similar thought about the insecurity. I think Georgia and AL trying so hard to give the appearance of everything being "fine" and everyone getting along only makes it feel more like things in reality are not exactly what's being presented on social media. I personally did not see "boyfriend" as a downgrade (because from my perspective, "other wife" reads as more jokey/unserious, but boyfriend is...softer, somehow), but I can see why some folks could interpret it as a downgrade when it's actually a readjusting of whatever the dynamic is between all of them.

Going back to the insecurity, I had also wondered how things would play out while Michael was in London for such a long time during the run of Nye, and it makes all the sense in the world that things would change with Michael and David being able to see each other in person frequently. And you make a salient point about the gay swinging being seen as less threatening (which I think is why it's been easy for Georgia and AL to start up with that, and why we have never seen even one reference to David/Anna or Michael/Georgia and swinging). It could be that shipping Michael and David was also seen as less threatening and easier to play along with a few years ago, when it was all still new and Michael and David hadn't gotten as close as they have now. So yes, I do think something has changed, and though we may never be privy to what specifically, we can still see its aftereffects and reverberations in a variety of ways.

(I also wish the antis/people making vitriolic posts in the tags would understand your final point, which is that some of us have seen these things before and are speaking from a place of experience--unlike their assertions (and I have actually seen someone say this) that we have never had any close friendships or relationships like these, and therefore know nothing.)

To your comment, @lepqueen, I also found myself raising an eyebrow at the song choice. You are correct that Sting has described the song as being creepy, and I found one quote from him in particular attesting to this:

I'm not really sure how this fits into the context of AL's post, though, or what made her choose it. Is the David pillow watching her every move? Is she watching the pillow? I have no idea. But that was certainly a choice, so there you go...

[leviosally]

Writer's Meme, 2024 Edition

I've been tagged by @hermiola 💜 (sorry it took me a hot sec to get around to it)

-------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

33. (including my hard kinks account which I don't talk about too much 🙈) 10 of that number are Good Omens, plus several for The Witcher, and a handful of LoZ, and even a couple for my first loves Mulder and Scully.

What’s your total word count?

459,261. 😳

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I have GO fic and Witcher fic both in there:

Stay (A Witcher fic that started on tumblr and bloomed into a full-fledged one shot on Ao3)

Play for Me the Music of Your Heart (GO human AU that I'm just about to post the final ch of)

Show Me Your Teeth (A Witcher fic that I wrote as a joke, go figure, and gifted to @stonecoldsilly)

Sweet Things (a GO canon universe fic I wrote for The Art of Yelling server's Valentine Kink Calendar event)

Don't Witchers Have Like, a Sixth Sense or Something? (boy, that was one of the first fics I wrote for that fandom, a 5+1)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do! It may not be right away, but I always get to them eventually. I love interacting with readers.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Umm, I usually always try to end happily or hopefully, but...probably the longer one I wrote for The Witcher called We Had Words, and an Aversion to Silver, because I started a sequel to that one and didn't finish 🙈

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Again, I'm a HEA kind of gal, but Play for Me the Music of Your Heart's ending is going to be wonderful once it posts 😘

Do you write crossovers?

I have in the past (LoZ and Pokemon, idek) and I've drawn for The Witcher/ Assassin's Creed but nothing recent.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I did have someone call me out in the comments on PfM about a historical racial slur, but I didn't really consider it hate.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I quite enjoy it and I love talking about writing it and learning how to write it better and better every time. I typically write M/M (dick envy is so real), but have written F/M before and even M/M/F/F.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not officially, I've had asks to translate, but I'm pretty firm about translations staying on Ao3, so that may have been a deterrent.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few friends and I wrote a series of drabbles for The Witcher fandom all for the same prompt at one point, which was way fun. I also participated in a fic telephone event with a bunch of other writers for GO that was really entertaining!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Good Omens and Aziraphale/Crowley have me by the throat right now, but I loved writing for Geralt/Jaskier and still enjoy reading fic and looking at art even though I'm not actively writing for them. I have been thinking a lot about Link/Sidon because I was super late to play BotW and TotK so I'm just now diving into them. I also just recently (Thanks Serpent and the Saint crew, you know who you are) developed an interest in a historical figure ship that I may eventually try writing from more of an original fiction perspective...

(I like many other ships but not to the point of *obsession*).

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I have two WIPs for The Witcher that I will likely not finish. I don't like to say never, but it's unlikely.

What are your writing strengths?

Seconding Hermiola here: Dialogue and banter are also my favorite things to write, but I love a good smut scene, and I've been complimented on my scene setting.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Look, punctuation are more guidelines than actual rules...

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's great and I have done it, but having someone make sure your translations are correct is essential. I think this also goes for writing different cultures/ethnic groups/lgbtq and neurodivergent groups. Not just for accuracy, but to be respectful of any group or culture that isn't your own.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The X-files, back in college...circa 2009?

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Link/Sidon, if something strikes me

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Play for Me the Music of Your Heart. It has been several years in the writing, it has been near and dear to my heart during that time, and...a way to relive and rediscover enjoyment in the years I spent in music school. It's truly been a crazy wonderful journey and so many people have supported it. 💜💜💜

Tagging some people if they feel like doing it (but no pressure at all!): @indigofyrebird, @ajconstantine, @tawnyontumblr, @copperplatebeech if you wanna play!

[gemharvest]

Gf for the character thing ? :] or maybe Nene if you received her already

I HAVEN'T RECEIVED HER YET THANK YOU !!!!!!!!! I'll do Nene too, I'll just make it her own post after posting this. :J

favorite thing about them: I love her dumbgirl swag. There's something so special to me that both her and Boyfriend are fuckin'. Dumb As Rocks. ALSO I LOVE THAT SHE'S CANONICALLY AN ARTIST that's such a sweet thing to me. I would pay one morbillion dollars for a GF commission (because she has no idea how they work).

least favorite thing about them: I WANT HER TO DO MOREEEEHGNJFN.. Like she's probably done as much as BF has so that's not a critique of the game, I just wanna see her do more. Because I love women. Oh also I think they should remake every canon piece depicting her and make her canonically fat. I often forget she isn't fat in canon and then I feel sickly when I look at like, the volume 1 cover and she's thin. W-Whe';re h.er tumm-.my go..,m,l,l,...,, <- sorry for crytyping but it fits.

favorite line: That's how you do it! <- I was gonna jokingly just go up down left right but then I remembered she says that in the tutorial. And I quote it to myself all the time so.

brOTP: Y'know what, similar to BF, I think a GF & Darnell friendship would be fuckin' s-tier. I often think abt this post Keyy made tbh. I know that's specifically the Funkycule AU and pup has them in a QPR but I do think abt it often. Also, before I was a romantic PicoGF guy my interpretation of RGB had Pico & GF as just friends, probably closer friends the longer they're in their relationships with BF cuz like, bonding over a shared partner or smthn LMAO so I'll give an honorable mention to Pico & GF friendship.

OTP: WOag. RGB. Wow I've never heard of that before. How many times can I joke about RGB being my OT3 for this game before it gets annoying LMAO anyways. I ALSO REALLY LOVE GFNENE I wish they had more fics. So bad. I'm actually shocked by how bare their tag on AO3 is. They weren't lying, fandom does hate femslash. /hj

nOTP: Is there anyone out there who actually ships her with Senpai. I think that'd be my only answer ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT. I chickened out on saying it with BF but I also consider BF and Senpai a nOTP but like, I DON'T HATE ANYBODY WHO SHIPS IT. OF COURSE. I don't think it's "problematic" to ship Senpai with either of them it's just, like, the most thought I have on Senpai is that I want to kick sand into his eyes. So that feeling doesn't really translate into a desire to see him shipped with anyone. I'm sorry to anybody who ships Senpai with either of them, I respect your grind, it is just sooooo not for me.

random headcanon: This headcanon is like, so deep into my personal GF characterization/ fuckin'. AU. If you wanna call it that atp. BUT ANYWAYS. Fuck this is gonna need quick background hold on. The canon explanation for her looking human iirc is literally just "true love" or whatever tf. But that's not as fun to play with. So instead I like to write her as being ashamed of being a demon, especially because of her parents' actions, so she masks her demon traits. And she reaaaalllly does not like letting them slip through, especially around a specific person (this is foreshadowing for something idek if I'll get to any time soon Sorry). BUT! She is on a limit for how long she can hide her demon traits until doing so starts to hurt her, either through draining her energy or like, it causing physical damage to continue hiding parts of her. And while she trusts Pico & BF, she's still got shit that she's just. Not. Sorting out. So when she feels she's about to reach a limit with it she locks herself away to rest until she's well enough to continue like normal. Girlie No (guy who is writing her to do this) (don't worry I'm going to also write her getting better abt this) I'm gonna eventually have to make a "Karl's Personal FNF Demon World Building" master-post or whatever just cuz this shit is so fun for me to work with Idk.

unpopular opinion: GEH once again idrk if this is an unpopular opinion but I've been using this to just. Complain. About stuff I have seen and disagree with so whatever I'm continuing the trend. Like Pico, I feel like I see. So many. Interpretations of her that just feel Wrong. Like I see people make her The Smart One or like. Dominant Girlboss with little substance beyond that. And it's like. Cool, yay, I love fandom misogyny. FUCK it's probably still rotting in my drafts but forever and always my reaction to this phenomenon with her is "This girl gets her hand stuck in peanut butter jars trying to eat pb with her hands. This is your Smart One?" and I should get it out of my drafts bc I'm real for that. DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME WHEN I SAY THIS BTW. Interpretations that smarten up BF to the same degree do not flag this to me. When making more serious fanworks with these guys, you're gonna have to give them more smarts than canon will. My issue is specifically when I have seen people still write in a degree of stupidity with BF and then just. Don't? Do the same with GF?

song i associate with them: Very basic but I think the sound is cute with her. My secondary answer would be Nelward - "Werewolf" but that's more of a. Specific Instance. That I don't want to elaborate on. grins

favorite picture of them:

Like literally all of them The Fuck you're making me choose? /silly Here's the fruits of me looking through her wiki gallery:

^ If I had to pick a single favorite, it'd be those panels from the Nendoroid comic. She was real for that. Anyways FUCK I love her. Statements improved when you remember I'm Boyfkin LMAOOOOOO..

[soupbabe]

Live Action One Piece Characters Seeing Transmasc! Reader's Packer Falling Out

Featuring: Luffy, Nami, Buggy, Usopp

These are mostly just joke headcanons, but I've been thinking about it nonetheless. Trying to do a different format for scenarios like this, any feedback would be appreciated!

Warning: this is so stupid + it gets weird and suggestive in Buggy's section

The day you wanted to wear shorts was the day Luffy wanted to play tag around the Going Merry. Usually you'd politely decline, as when your captain wants to run around the ship, it gets intense. People get tripped over, belongings break, and dents get put into the walls. But this time Luffy stared directly at you with his big, brown, puppy dog eyes as he asked once more. "Please Y/n? I even got Nami to play, it won't be fun without you!"

His smile grew ever so mischievous as you caved in and agreed to his little game...

Monkey D. Luffy

- When he caught you, he practically tackled you to the ground (arms stretched around your body and head, as to soften the blow)

- And to your embarrassment, your homemade packer slipped out of your boxers and fell out of your pant leg

- While not the most detailed packer to exist, you certainly didn't think it was vague enough for Luffy to get up and fetch it for you

- "Hey, Y/n! I think you dropped something, what is it?" "Oh my god Luffy put that down right now. Wash your hands too."

- You wish you hit your head hard enough to cause short term memory loss

- Once you tell him, his eyes go wide and his mouth makes a small "o" shape as he tosses your packer back to you

- Luffy isn't as embarrassed as you could've been, but you both agree to never bring it up again

Nami

- Nami is one to also get competitive and play dirty, she uses her stealth to sneak up behind you and give you a good scare (and to make sure you're "it" now)

- What she didn't expect was to see her friend get react so clumsily that he stumbled and his dick and balls fall out

- She definitely noticed before you did, her eyes can't help but look at the silicone packer

- "Nami! You can't just scare a guy like that!" "...you dropped something."

- Her cheeks are a tinge of pink and your face is on fire as you hastily shove your packer into a pocket

- Though after the initial shock, she was able to laugh and tease you about the accident

- You gave her 100 beri to never talk about it ever again

Buggy the Clown

- Okay in this scenario, I do like to think about him just being a head and watching the game unfold

- Once he sees your packer fall out, he's losing it, everyone on the ship can hear him laughing and giving away your location

- "Oh- Oh my God this is too good! Even I haven't had this happen to me! What a fucking-" oh look at that. Said packer is in his mouth to shut him up.

- Wasn't the most ideal thing to shut him up with, but he got on your nerves and you needed a quick solution

- Buggy however is left red in the face: both out of anger and the fact that he has a dick in his mouth

- Not the way he wanted this to happen

- Once he's free from his makeshift gag, he's still going to be an ass and tease you about what he saw

- Though a deal has been struck so he wouldn't tell the others what would happen, unless he wants to be shut up again

Usopp

- He screams

- Usopp thought he hurt you when you two ran into each other, and seeing your...thing on the ground with you made him freak out

- Poor man thought he accidentally castrated you or something, maybe you too had the chop chop fruit?

- Either way you had to grab him by the shoulders and help him calm down before the crew thought he actually got hurt

- Honestly with Usopp, he makes it more awkward and weird than it needed to be

- He's understanding of what it is and how you don't always secure it properly, but man he's gonna have this memory burned into his mind

- He can't help but make awkward eye contact, his face burning every time he looks over at you

[ominous-faechild]

OC Facts Tag

Thank you for the tag, @honeybewrites!

Rules: Make a list of fun facts about your OCs. Like a headcanon list, if you will! Except it's actually canon lol.

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, Daleira, Faer

Freya:

Knows a lot about sailing, but has mostly worked on ships by herself. Is she self-taught? Well, kinda--it's because of her dad basically being a god of the ocean. It's literally in her blood, and she's blessed to have good luck on the ocean. Not that it helps her if "luck" doesn't come into play...

Has mostly figured out how to translate three different forgotten languages by using only her own intelligence and libraries

Has anger issues but thinks of herself as a very calm person

Has a lot of nightmares, but remembers very few of them. Doesn't have very many good night's rests

For some reason, half of what she thinks and knows of her past contradict each other...

Sleeps curled up in a ball; likes cuddling with stuffed animals but left it at home when going to Lynsmouth because she thought her fiancé would judge her for it. Joke's on her, it's a fiancée, and she has way more than just one!

Would forgive her dad for his neglect if he just gave a sincere apology, a hug, and spent at least a few months with her every year

Hates standing out

Was previously in a toxic relationship with a man who groomed her. It caused a lot of her modern-day issues. Her dad is not aware of this, and she hopes to keep it that way.

Crow:

Both hates and loves the smell of blood

Forgot how to cry years ago

Is a fantastic actor and liar; thinks their lies are terrible and obvious, but is able to fool even some of the people best at reading body-language

Knows how to fight with two different types of weapons. Also knows hand-to-hand combat--that, and using a simple dagger, are what they're best at

Always has a knife/dagger within reach, but it's usually hidden behind one of their wings or their tail feathers

Their humor is, in reality, an act they put on to make people underestimate them. They are hyper-alert and constantly on guard

Is most comfortable sleeping on top of something spherical; likes wrapping their arms--and so their wings with them--around it, resting their cheek over their shoulder/wing, and splaying their legs out

However, is used to sleeping in terrible conditions. Just always needs to sleep on their stomach; it's painful to lay on their wings

Daleira:

Is almost certainly ADHD and is probably on the spectrum; I'd have to write more of her before I say the last part for sure, though

Doesn't have very many friends and is aware of it; most of the people in her life are either humoring her because they're afraid of her or because they want political power

Her obsession with magic originated from her trying to figure out if she could change what she is--aka, stop being a faerie and turn human

She's terrified of her own magic and refuses to use it. Most of the magic she uses in-story is during moments of panic (ie, used on reflex) or through a conduit

If she ever managed to "turn human", would cry for weeks about no longer being able to shapeshift. Her ability to shapeshift is one of the few things she likes about being a faerie

Has never been in a relationship before

Doesn't like to sleep because she's afraid of what her magic will do while she's unconscious. Lucky(?) her, she can literally make it so she doesn't have to sleep

Wishes she had a sibling or other people to relate to

Loves sweet food; lucky her, she won't ever gain weight unless she wants to

Faer:

Figured out engineering over time from reverse-engineering half-destroyed machinery

Likes cooking and sees it as very similar to engineering

He loves his hair and would cry if he had to cut it. Has not cut it once in over 5 years, not even to trim it.

Loves soft textures and wears an oversized cloak to hide his constant fidgeting, to generally keep his actions hidden, and to be able to pet it

The more I write about him, the more certain I am that I accidentally made ANOTHER goddamn autistic character istg--

Although he claims the cyborg bobcat that follows him everywhere is his familiar, it is not. It is an actual bobcat. They bonded over a series of incidents of saving each other's lives and refuse to part from each other

Refuses to set foot in a forest until his life depends on it. Thankfully, now lives in a city.

The giant scar over his face is far from the only one he has.

Has PTSD and is constantly aware of his surroundings

Met Daleira when she saved him, but actually likes her as a friend and person

Is suspicious of Valyarus, but doesn't know how to tell Daleira that her dad gives him major creep vibes

"Faer" (pronounced "fair") is not actually his name

Tagging (with no pressure): @the-letterbox-archives @the-golden-comet @yourpenpaldee @darkandstormydolls @themboty + anyone else who wants to join!

Divider by @cafekitsune

[self-proclaimed-detective]

introductory post. . .

I’m Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective (despite not feeling worthy of that title just yet). And no, that is not a joke.

This blog is for my thoughts regarding.. well, being a fictionkin of Shuichi. Sometimes I roleplay with other people as well.

I have a LOT of memories, a majority of them fairly vivid. In my canon, the killing game was a simulation and everybody ended up surviving.

My supposed “main” account, or the one I like posts/follow with, is @jiraisaki-kanade.

I am a minor, so please keep that in mind. However, I’m okay with adults interacting. Just don’t be weird and we’ll be fine

DNI criteria:

anti therian/otherkin/fictionkin

homophobic

transphobic

anti agere

DDLG

BYI:

My tone ranges between really energetic to really formal/monotone, even over text. Promise I’m not mad /gen

I am also an age regressor, so sometimes that may pop up too. Yes, I did regress during the killing game. Obviously I didn’t make a show of it, but it happened. My age range tends to be 3-4

Due to the nature of Danganronpa, mentions of death and such will probably be common. Posts like these will not be tagged

Here’s some details about me, specifically about my fictionkin experience

I am a feminine transmasc, he/him, both in real life and in my canon.

Also, I never took off my hat. I did get better at making eye contact though!

In my canon, the killing game lasted a lot longer than the video game makes it seem. There were more than just a few days in between “chapters”, and the time between murders was more like 2-3 weeks long. Therefore the killing game itself lasted 3 or 4 months.

Also, the killing game was not real, as said before. Therefore a large portion of time was spent in the hospital, mentally and physically recovering from the trauma. Everybody survived.

After every participant in the killing game was deemed healthy enough and relatively mentally stable (keyword relatively), we were all moved to an apartment complex to live together. Everybody got their own room, but staying over at someone’s was very, very common

(yes, even Tsumugi was there, she saw the flashback light at the beginning of the game too. She was just unlucky enough to be chosen as mastermind. Please don’t hate her. We actually became really good friends)

I don’t think I had any “ships”, so to speak. Not even Kaede-chan, despite popular fandom belief. She was just a very close friend.

I think I had the strongest friendships with Kaito, Shinguji-san, Harukawa-chan, Kirumi, and Gonta-kun. I also found Ouma-kun fun and interesting (in a good way)

Taglist

🔎 mundane chats ; general ☂️ late night deductions ; talk about canon 🔎 inquiries ; asks ☂️ survivor’s guilt ; vents or upsetting posts 🔎 storytelling ; just role playing instead of kin posts ☂️ case files ; reblogs 🍼 child detective ; posts related to agere + custom tags for other danganronpa characters

and another day goes by. . .

dividers found here, PFP found here, banner image found here

[bnbc]

i was prowling through Isabella's tag cos oml i love her (warhammer ocs my beloved <33) and i was wondering what's her relationship like with the rest of the companions from the game? i'd like to hear the dramas between her team if there is any lmao

omg, thank you so much!

Such a great question! I have to confess I was so lazer-focused on Heinrix explaining Iza’s mechanical traits to make sense narrative-wise, I paid little attention to the rest of the team, but I do have some bits!

I have to note, that companions from the 3rd chapter stayed in the 3rd chapter, so Iza didn’t collect all the pokemon. She maintains a good and respectful relationship with all the bridge officers, but her best man is High Factotum Janris Danrok, they spend hours discussing trade partners, contracts, and ship logistics.

But, back to the main team!

________________________

“Abelard gave me a space to grow, even though it was Theodora-shaped.”

Abelard, my Abelard! They had some rough moments in the beginning when Iza felt like he tried to make her into Theodora's substitute and argued with him to insist on her position's duty and privilege. At the same time, she was checking his reactions to her actions and was relieved every time Abelard approved her. 

I think I already cracked this joke, but who’s gonna stop me? Abelard was in her team all the time along with Heinrix, and this is the most accurate picture of how the three of them looked: 

Ofc she did everything for Abelard’s family, and when he asked for retirement, she let him go on condition, that he would train his replacement personally because who could do it better then the best seneschal ever?

________________________

"Sanctioned or not, Idira is one of us. She proved her will and deserved the right to walk her path the way she wants. End of discussion."

Idira was… intriguing. Too different from Iza in a matter of personality and life experience to seek her close friendship, Idira gained her eternal respect for surviving for so long for having the will strong enough to keep the chaotic mind of her in line. Well, most of the time.

And when her breakdown happened, Isabella stood for her. Said, everybody can slip and everybody deserves a second chance. Time proved her right when both of the sanctioned psykers of her team had their own moments of losing control, hehe.

Anyway, never a close friend but a friend indeed, and one of few people who understand, Idira had a place in Iza’s team to the very end of her life.

________________________

"Sister Argenta reminds me of His wrath... and of His grace as well."

Argenta, with all the respect, makes Isabella feel uneasy. Reminds her that even though Isabella’s faith is strong, this alone might not be enough. (Ye, Iza sits on Iconoclast and Dogmatic chairs at the same time; she’s not too religious but she is a believer, which I think is close to heresy by WH40k standards anyway)

But gladly Argenta often stands up for protecting innocent people, and Isabella takes a breath of relief. 

i haven’t decided how to play through chapter 3 confession and its consequences yet, so sis is under development xD

________________________

"Lady Cassia... is hard to be around. I can only hope that the little time I can spend with her is enough to fulfill the Lord Captain's obligations to her Navigator."

Oh, oh, oh! Cassia is Isabella’s walking nightmare. Imagine yourself keeping your mental blocks 24/7 so as not to hear the noise of people's thoughts, and then meeting Cassia who casually floods you with her emotions. Isabella lost her shit during their first meeting.

Iza feels for Cassia, she really does, but she can not tolerate her presence for a long time. She tries her best for her navigator to feel welcomed onboard (look, you need to keep your Navi happy, all right), but mostly uses servants and Abelar as proxy people to communicate with Cass.

Why didn’t Iza change a navigator is a good question. I haven't found the answer yet.

________________________

“I… That planet two systems ago when we got ambushed, I had to connect to Pasqal’s mind for faster coordination. I don’t want to comprehend what I saw.”

Pasqal is complicated to understand, like most of admechs. Iza tries her best to know them better, but so far her best connection is Abel. She spends a lot of time talking with him.

But mostly she just agrees on all the Pasqal requests of equipment and lets him collect and study whatever he wants (N. included)

________________________

“Jae still can be useful.”

Everyone deserves a second chance in Iza’s book, but Jae used them all. The weight of her lies hit the critical mass at one point (remember, Janris Danrok is Iza’s bridge bestie). 

Isabella didn’t take away Jae’s papers (they didn’t fly half of the expanse looking for seals just not to take benefits of those papers) and didn’t end their partnership at all, but Jae was sent out of the flagship to do her business from some other spot.

With a warning, that if she abuses von Valancius name for some really dirty business, the consequences will be… final. Jae was smart enough to see the line this time.

________________________

“We are not talking about Yrliet again, Heinrix.”

IN THIS HOUSE WE DON’T TALK ABOUT YRLIET SHE JUST LIVES ON OUR SHIP AS AN AMULET OF LUCK

I’m a bit pissed that the game doesn't help me with giving reasons to keep Yra after the 3rd chapter, so I don’t know why Isabella let her stay except for her “second chance” rhetoric. I’m figuring this out. 

I mean in the 3rd chapter it was pretty much “we need everyone to survive” thinking, but later… idk yet, maybe something something cooperation is better than war. Something something I want to understand how aeldari thinks. Something something Yrliet’s voice is so cool! xDD

But I know that Iza and Yra were traveling together a long time after the end of the game.

The peak of character drama happens in the Dark City when Heinrix Abelard Yrliet and Argenta sit in a circle and each of them holds their neighbors' hands to prevent them from killing the opposite sitting person, Pasqal trying to comprehend xenotech and Iza suffering in the background because someone stolen her fav boots.

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ASKING!!!

[cosmoseinfeld]

hi kay tell me about jerrykramer if you want? it's been too long since i watched seinfeld

oh boy... where to start...

maybe it's best to come in hot with a tinhat theory? imo, jerrykramer was never written as a romantic ship or intended to end up as one. if anything, i can see the writers (and jerry...) more go the route of your classic 80s buddy comedy that has maybe some tropey romantic undertones to it if you care to look (like, say "midnight run").

BUT i think that michael (richards) and jerry (seinfeld. lol.) had such an amazing chemistry that it also kind of wrote itself and a lot of the "acting" choices on jerry's part (who has also stated again and again that he is not an actor and can only react genuinely to the people opposite to him - which is also why he cast the show the way it was cast - because he felt comfortable around those people and knew he didn't have to stretch himself beyond his abilities) were just actor bleed (the fkn heart eyes, man...). with michael, you can see it especially in later seasons when he's allowed himself to relax a little.

And, of course, most importantly, it WORKED. jerry's #1 priority has always been to make it funny. in his own words: he lives in a world of funny (and he has also said he doesn't see race or gender which still drives me insane to think about. funnysexual).

But there were also very conscious writing choices for jerry and kramer which has me believing that the writers (and jerry. who was "micro managing every aspect of the show") knew exactly how you could look at their relationship if you wanted to. plus, the show has always been very queer friendly (hell, there is a whole episode dedicated to gay okay. and jerry has been very vocally pro queer - especially on comedians in cars getting coffee *cough* - most noticeably in the episode with howard stern where he literally said: "i like gay." after HS asked him "why is everything gay with you?").

This is just my reading and probably also projecting but none of the characters read particularly straight to me. kramer is so special, he most of all is so above labels and societal norms - that's his whole thing (in Seinfeld!Jerry's words: he is a pod).

And as the show progresses and the characters, the writers and the audience all become more comfortable and accustomed with/to each other, jerry and kramer become increasingly domestic.

I have made a whole post about the tropes applied to them (I even think I forgot a couple) but the ones I love the most are: jerry being wife-coded in the episode "The Bizarro Jerry" // jerry being girlfriend coded in "The Apology" // meetcute trope also in "The Apology" // jerry being such a germaphobe but somehow always being okay with whatever unsanitary thing kramer is up to at any given moment // bed sharing in "The Wig Master" // a literal kiss (that wasn't played off as a joke) in "The Kiss Hello" // jerry taking kramer as his date to award shows & once on a holiday to tuscany despite being a notorious and chronic dater // the others noticing/commenting on their relationship-y behaviour (george's reaction to the kiss & his reaction to finding them in the shower together. elaine and jerry talking about settling down and saying "it's just gonna be you and kramer" "just me and kramer, huh?" & elaine commenting on their relationship trouble whenever one of them is sulking) // their co-dependency (it's being commented on in tiny moments throughout the show how much kramer needs jerry's friendship/love and kramer comments a few times how empty jerry's life would be without him)...

oh, i guess all of them are important to me haha. and they all come so easy to them. but here's the post i wrote a year ago on that. feel free to browse through my jerrykramer tag (or jerrymichael *cough*) or this blog to ogle at them.

I will leave you with this homosexual promo pic outtake, thanks for coming to my TED talk <3

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so i spent yesterday looking through and collecting data from ao3's rpf (real person fanfiction) collection (for no reason other than 'i was intrigued' lol...)

and i thought i'd go through some of the interesting finds!

(this is probably interesting to nobody but me but hey when has that ever stopped me lol!)

starting with a disclaimer that this is a judgement free zone! i may make a few jokes about things from time to time on here, but i am firmly of the 'ship and let ship' mindset so no hate meant in any of this at all lol <3

first interesting fact is that kpop is the highest rpf tag (with over 650k works!!), bts are obviously the boy group with the most fics, with twice being the highest girl group!

speaking of girls... so for every category i tried to find what the top f/f ship was and for a couple of the tags (most notably actors and music), the top f/f ships were actually male characters (which confused me until i saw the additional tags were genderbend and genderswap lol)... there are also a lot of fandoms where the top characters when you take out m/m ships is actually original female characters (or reader)!

unsurprisingly, taylor swift is the solo artist with the most fics written about her (many shipping her with various celebs, both men and women), but what i found interesting is that there are 140 of her songs and albums that are featured in fics, which is more than any other musician's work (even hozier lol!)

other music tag info is one direction as the non-kpop band with the most fics, with larry stylinson being the top ship (no one is shocked at this) and the highest rating being explicit! which is a bit surprising since most of these fandoms have either general or teen and up ratings as the top one... the only other umbrella rpf fandom that has explicit as the top rating is actors... oh and porn (duh)

my chemical romance deserve a mention as the band with the most fics under the rock music tag (and in the bandom tag), with gerard as the top character (good for them!)! queen also rank pretty highly, with a lot of the fics being specifically linked to the 2018 film bohemian rhapsody rather than specifically the band themselves (so it's like... rpf of rpf lol?)

i think the beatles are the oldest band/musician to have a lot of rpf about them but it's honestly a little hard to tell so don't quote me on this... they are also at the top of the 60's music scene, where the rolling stones take 2nd lol...

the rpf section that i went into the most blind was the sports tag, since my knowledge of sports is .......... yeh that's about all i know lol

men's football and hockey have a similar number of fics each (a little over 30k), though the top character in the sports tag is max verstappen who is actually a racing driver so ??? confused noises lol

anyway idrc about the men (this is a joke ofc @ men i love you), what i DO care about is that women's football (and this is specifically the soccer kind not the american lol) has the highest femslash fics, and i looked up tobin heath (who was the top character in this section) and lemme just say that i Get it lol...

wwe and formula 1 are some other sports that have a significant number of fics in the, filled with people i've never heard of before pfft... i will say that most of the sports have general as their top rating, except for hockey which has explicit (i feel like theirs some kinda joke i could make here about playing with sticks but i'm not gonna lol... especially since most sports already play with balls so?)

anyway enough about sports lol, let's return to something i'm much more comfortable with: youtubers!

youtube is actually the 2nd most written about category (next to kpop, with nearly 280k fics) with minecraft youtubers (the top character being tommyinnit) being the most written about!

what i found most fascinating about this is that 8 out of the 10 top ships in this tag are platonic (and 1 is actually just the 'no romantic relationships' tag lol... the top ship overall is still a slash pairing, but it's still interesting that such a big fandom has mainly platonic pairings!)

also even though the phandom have nowhere near the amount of fics as minecraft youtube, i found it kinda funny that there are (as of writing this) only 95 more fics featuring dan than phil (essentially saying that literally nearly 99% of the fics feature the both of them lol... phandom really said 'co-dependency' and i respect that lol)

moving on to actors, which i expected to have a lot more fics than it does given a lot of rpf involves the actors of characters in popular fictional ships (i mean there are still a lot, over 130k lol...) and supernatural takes the crown of having the most fics of this category! j2 is the top ship, though the 3rd top ship in the actors tag is actually tom hiddleston x original female character! i think because of this british actors are the highest subsection of actors, followed by chinese actors!

i think i did expect the chinese actors to have more fics, but i'm guessing the smaller number is because of the whole xiao zhan ao3 drama from a few years ago... wang yibo x xiao zhan still make up the most popular ship, plus there are plenty of other c-dramas and other chinese shows that have a big number of fics that don't fall under the chinese actor umbrella tag (so the number probably would be a lot larger if i went through and counted them... but i'm not gonna)... similar thing with thai actors, which only has a couple thousand fics in the tag, but there are a whole lot more fics dedicated to rpf of specific actors on specific shows (from a quick glance i think tharntype and kinnporsche are a couple of the highest fandoms? but i didn't go through everything cos i'd already been doing this for a few hours and i was getting sleeeeeby lol...)

one thing that intrigued me was the british comedy category (which is the top comedy category lol! we did it lads we finally came top with something!), where would i lie to you and taskmaster were the top fandoms! david mitchell was the top character and, kinda bizarrely imo, david x charlie brooker was the top ship (i feel like i'm missing some kinda big thing in the british comedy fandom ngl lol... but like really? you ship david with charlie brooker when robert webb, his actual comedy partney, is RIGHT there? or even lee mack i'm ??? ok ok i'm getting off topic pfft...)

oh greg davies and alex horne are also a popular ship in this category ofc (though they have less than 1000 fics lol!)

the final umbrella category of rpf that i could find was historical, which is the tag with the least amount of fics (under 20k), with alexander hamilton and various other american specific historical figures making up the bulk of the popular historical fics (these are mainly tired to the musical hamilton btw)!

the top characters and ship when narrowed down to just the f/f of the historical tag is mostly original female characters btw!

there are also fics of other public figures, like politics, porn, journalists and chefs, and probably the most intriguing facts i found from this section are that hillary clinton is the most popular character in the 21st century us politics section, joe biden and donald trump are the 4th most popular ship (with the reoccurring additional tag of 'crack fic' lol), and though it isn't in the top stats, when i went into the pundit and journalist tag the first few fics to pop up were ben shapiro x matt walsh explicit stuff which was... uh... interesting lol

final thing i'll note is that i stuck mainly to ao3 for this because though i know places like wattpad have a large rpf collection too, but it's so bloody HARD to find data about fics on that site pfft... though i think one thing that would be shown by looking into wattpad's rpf community is that whereas ao3 has a lot of shipping content (obviously), wattpad has a lot more reader x celebrity (but like take this with a pinch of salt since i've not actually done the research for this part pfft...)

anyway i hope you (all 0 of you) enjoyed this rambling take on the data i found on ao3's rpf collection lol!

i know people get really weird around rpf, but i just genuinely find it SO interesting how diverse the range of stuff people write about!

[reneesbooks]

15 questions - kamon

tagged by @avrablake <3 let's give our favorite sailor boy some love

Are you named after anyone?

My grandfather. I'm Baby Kamon at home, to make things clearer since we all live together. I don't particularly like it, but what can you do?

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last time I left Reijmor. I cry every time I leave Reijmor.

3. Do you have kids?

Not technically, no. Meja tells me so much about Reijka I feel I already know her, but I've never met her.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I try not to. I don't find insincerity amusing.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Can they crack a fucking joke? If not, then do they at least know how to laugh at one?

6. What’s your eye color?

Dark brown. Meja thinks they're pretty :)

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. Everyone deserves to be happy.

8. Any special talents?

I'm a rigger on a merchant ship, which is a pretty tough job. I like to think I'm good at it, and I've never fallen off the masts.

9. Where were you born?

Mursus. It's one of the Merchant Isles, city-states run by wealthy merchant families in the North Sea. My family works for the family that runs Mursus, so we have a decent life back home.

10. What are your hobbies?

Tying knots and fishing. I'm awful at fishing, but it's a good excuse to sneak away to Reijmor when we're in the area.

11. Have you any pets?

No, but there is a ship cat that keeps the rat population under control and tolerates me on occasion.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Rigging? Fighting pirates? Are these "sports?"

13. How tall are you?

Uhh. Tall enough to rig? Not much taller than Meja? Who keeps track of that kind of thing?

14. Favorite subject in school?

I didn't really go to school in Mursus; my family only had the money to send one kid to school and my older brother got it by virtue of being born first. I learned some things from him, mainly how to read maps, and the rest of my schooling was conducted by the sailors on the docks that taught me how to tie knots. I taught myself how to climb the rigging at night when the crews were asleep or didn't mind.

15. Dream job?

I love to sail, but I don't know that it's my dream anymore. I could see myself settling down. Perhaps I'll actually get good at fishing. Or maybe become a farmer, so Meja always has fresh ingredients for her cooking. I suppose it all depends on where this goes.

salt and brine taglist (ask to be added <3): @oh-no-another-idea

tagging @kaylinalexanderbooks @k--havok and @laplumedemaureen to do this for a character, and as always open tag for anyone who wants to join <3