#I think England fans should be worried if they want to make it deep in the tournament

[addc10]

What did you think of the US v England match?

Great! I think the US can only feel unfortunate that they weren’t able to get all three points there, though ultimately a draw was the deserved result.

I think it highlights our lack of a true goal scorer, and not even just at the 9 position. I can’t help worry about where goals are going to come from.

I think the best part of the game was the midfield battle, which the US won. I felt as if England were underrating out midfielders (at least from the news that I saw) so that was such a good tactical battle in my opinion.

I think Gregg got it right and Southgate got it wrong, which doesn’t mean I think that Gregg is a better manager, or even that I now love and support Gregg, but as soon as the line-ups we’re dropped, I could immediately see the tactical adjustments for the press and counter, and I can’t say the same for England.

It makes me even more upset that we couldn’t close out the Wales game.

[hotgirlssupportlando]

one day x lando norris pt 4

this is a part of my series following one day of every summer from 2016 onwards in y/n’s and lando's lives, exploring their friendship and love for one another. ofc not a smooth ride with some angst and fights along the way. a friends to lovers, growing up together kind of thing. read first part here pairing: lando norris x fem!reader summary of this part: y/n attending lando's first home race in f1, but her expectations weren't really met warnings: kinda sad :( wc: 1,4k a/n: probably a couple of sad parts now in this series but bear with me!! a one day -series can't only be rainbows and butterflies hehe

summer of 2019

Silverstone Circuit, England

y/n was beyond excited getting her invite from lando to attend his first ever home race in f1. she couldn’t believ that the random boy she had met a few years ago now was one of the top twenty drivers in the world. seeing her best friend advancing in the sport truly made her proud, who would’ve thought he’d be going this far? since day one she had always supported her friend both on track and at distance, nowadays most through late night facetime calls as she was still in Edinburgh studying and Lando traveling all around the world. 

however, now after being months apart the pair would finally meet again and oh my, was she excited!! she couldn’t help but smile sitting in the taxi on her way to silverstone, headphones in listening to her and landos shared playlist. she fiddled with her mclaren paddock pass that already, proudly, was hanging around her neck, closely reading (for maybe the hundredth time) that all the personal information was correct, it would be just typical lan to spell something wrong and causing her trouble. as soon as the paddock pass had arrived in the mail at her uni dorm she had started planning her outfit, carefully picking out clothes and accessories that would perfectly match the colours on the pass. as the self-conscious being she was, she wanted to be prepared, not wanting to make a fool of herself or lando by turning up as a girl who didn’t look like she belonged there.  

now she was sat stroking her new white dress, contemplating whether it was too boring or too much, and what would lando think, would he like it? and why didn’t she take the other dress instead, it would have looked much better! her mind was racing, overthinking every little thing that came to mind and her worries quickly aggravated looking outside the cab window at all the beautifully looking fans that stood waiting outside the paddock hoping to see their favourite drive appear from one of the taxis. oh well, she thought, there’s nothing i can do about it now. she took a deep breath before exiting the car, shyly walking toward the entrance where she blipped her paddock pass and quickly rushed away headed towards the big mclaren sign in the distance. overwhelmed by the situation she just wanted to see lando, knowing that his presence would calm her nerves.

after some walking she finally arrived at the mclaren hospitality, almost immediately spotting jon, lando’s trainer. ”hi we’ve only seen each other through facetime but i’m y/n l/n, landos friend”, she said approaching jon. ”oh hello, i thought i recognized you from somewhere!” he smiled, ”you’re probably looking for lando?”. y/n nodded smilingly. jon looked around a bit worried, telling her that he should be here somewhere but that his schedule had been a bit hectic this race day morning. she was offered to wait in the hospitality while jon was gonna go tell lando that she had arrived. with a good mood she went and grabbed a tea, sitting at a table that overlooked mclaren’s part of the pit lane. 

after scrolling a bit on her phone and texting her friend, she saw in her periphery, more specifically in the garage, a familiar looking boy. he was giving some fangirls a tour around the garage, letting one and one test sit in his car. he looked so happy, being in his element. after a short while jon approached lando, and by his lips y/n could read something about her arrival. landos reaction was cute, he seemed excited that she was there but didn’t seem ready to come meet her just yet. y/n was just glad she had seen him at a distance and didn’t mind waiting for some time longer, she had already waited several months so what harm could another hour do?

if it only had been an hour or two or even three.. patiently she sat waiting, looking at the clock seeing it was nearly time for race preparations. nope, she thought, if she wanted to see him she would need to take it into her own hands, and that’s what she did. confidently she walked the same route she had seen jon take to the garage and after getting lost a couple times she found a visitor friendly spot. at the same place other high paying fans were stood looking at the team doing their pre race preparations. lando, as the kind boy he was, of course greeted the fans and let them take pictures with him. shortly after he spotted y/n who stood with a huge smile and open arms to greet him in an usual hug, but she wasn’t met by the same excitement. a rather cold and quick hug was what she got, from a boy that felt unexpectedly unfamiliar. a bit caught of guard by the reception and embarrassed by the amount of people that had seen this awkward encounter she felt like running far away. somehow she managed to still ask lando if their agreed meetup after the race was still on, to which she received a short ”yeah, sure”. 

stunned from the whole situation she went back up to the hospitality and watched the race in some kind of haze. wtf was that? she didn’t have to be here, lando was the one that invited her there, didn’t some good old kindness include in that package? presumably not then. her thoughts wandered, shocked that the boy she had known for years abruptly was someone totally else, just because they weren’t alone, the two of them, as they usually was. or was she overreacting? maybe it wasn’t that bad. or maybe this was her fault? she could’ve put a bit more makeup on and change the dress so that she would’ve been prettier, maybe that was the problem, that she wasn’t as pretty as the other girls in the paddock. 

in the middle of her overthinking someone patted her on the shoulder making her jump of fear out of her seat. ”sorry sorry sorry! i didn’t mean to scare you” a familiar voice half laughed, half tried to sound serious. she turned around meeting a pair of kind brown eyes, it was carlos sainz she remembered, lando’s teammate. ”are you waiting for someone?” he asked. y/n looked at the clock, it was late, somehow she had been thinking about her own problems so long that she hadn’t noticed that the race was done ages ago and that the other hospitality guests had gone home. ”oh yeah, i was waiting for lando, he’s my friend, but i guess he has forgotten about me.. again” y/n said not covering her disappointment very well. carlos smiled compassionately, like he understood, ”i’m sorry.. i remember when i was new to f1, everything’s so new and exciting that sometimes the one’s that has been with you from the start gets left behind..”. ”well, thats assuring” y/n laughed quietly as she felt her eyes tearing up. ”noo sorry, y/n was it? i didn’t mean to upset you, what i meant to say was that in the beginning you get kind of caught up in the fame and girls running after you, but when you settle in to the sport you sooner or later understand who the real one’s are” he said and gently hugged you afterwards. y/n sniffled after the hug ”well i hope so.. this wasn’t at all what i expected from this day” she sighed walking towards the door out of the hospitality. ”i’m certain he will come around, some new drivers take more time than others to realize that all the new attention is just empty and fake, nothing that can compare to a girl that waited the clock around to hopefully see her friend” he smiled trying to cheer y/n up. a small smile cracked on her face as she thanked him whilst they walked out of hospitality together. 

they didn’t have to walk very far before she heard lando’s familiar laugh, y/n turning around to spot lando in the distance, flirting with some very beautiful girls, noticing how he didn’t have a thought in the world about his old friend. she felt her heart sink and eyes tearing up again, was she really that forgettable? if anything, it only confirmed all her self-conscious thoughts. carlos that was walking beside her noticed the same as her and immediately connected his eyes with y/n’s, giving her a compassionate look while hugging her from the side. ”don’t you worry darling, remember my words”

_____

taglist

@amberpanda99 @phantomxoxo @landossainz @chezmardybum @lan4cha16 @tvdtw4ever @starlit-skiessss @dorothea47

[outsideratheart]

Sore Loser (Aitana Bonmati x reader)

A/N: I love Aitana, the little baby hulk. Also, I wrote this in my phone so I apologise in advance for any mistakes.

When the whistles blows you don’t know how to feel. The inner battle between the love you have for your country and the love you have for your girlfriend makes you feel nauseous. Your eyes go to your opponents who you call team mates for the majority of the year. The look of devastation on their faces is evident but that is to be expected. You begin to walk over to them knowing that you need to see Aitana before anything else but when you feel a body jump on your back you know that she will have to wait.

“Onto the Semis” Georgia Stanway practically shouts in your ear.

“All because of you G” you praise her beauty of a goal.

You stand there with the midfielder on your back, you want to put her down but you know that she wants you to celebrate with the team, deep down you know that is what you should want too.

“You can go see them if you want, the team will understand. Besides we have all night to celebrate they will probably be going back to Spain soon” 

You didn’t think about that. When would they be going home? Would Aitana stay so that you can spend at least one day together?

“Thanks G, I won’t be long” She runs off to where the rest of the team are singing Sweet Caroline with the fans.

The closer you get the the Spain team, the more nervous you become. Your steps become slower as you think about what you should say, what could make this moment hurt less.

You stand maybe 3 meters away from them waiting for one of them to see you and give you a sign that you can approach them. It is Leila that sees you first, she sends a small smile that barely lasts a second but it what you are waiting for.

“You guys played incredible. It was a tough game and you put up a good fight but” your attempt to reassure them of their effort is short lived.

“But what” Aitana snaps.

Her reaction catches you off guard and leaves you speechless.

“You didn’t deserve to win. She fouled Irene and you know it” Aitana says, her anger not allowing her to say Alessia’s name “You won because you play for England and we are in England, the ref was on your side the entire game” 

Aitana’s outburst gains the attention of the cameras around you. You’re not sure if they are filming or just taking pictures but it makes you think carefully about your response.

“That’s not true and you know it” your reply is hushed, not wanting to cause a scene.

“That’s all you have to say, so you admit it was a foul. You are just as bad as the Americans”

Your girlfriend is stubborn, you know this which means you know that she isn’t going to let this go no matter what environment you are in.

“Aitana, there are cameras” you say calmly.

“You’re worried about how I will make you look. You should be worried about how your team makes you look.”

You try to lighten the mood, knowing that it could kill or cure the current situation.

“So I take it you don’t want my shirt anymore?” 

Kill, it killed the situation.

“Why would I want it? It means nothing and I don’t want to be reminded of what you did”

Now you are getting mad. You backed the referee’s decision, not just because it benefited your team but because it was the right call and if it had been against any other team then Aitana would side with it too. 

“Well then I’ll give it Athenea seen as though she asked for it at half time” you tell your girlfriend knowing exactly how it will make her feel. You and the Real Madrid player are close friends, some of the fans think that the two of your are dating and it makes Aitana jealous every time the two of you interact.

She watches as you walk away and console her team mate, holding her in your arms just as you intended to do with her. A small growl escapes her lips when she sees you take your shirt off and happily put the Spain one on. Her eyes stay on you as you walk away, the sight she sees leaving a sour taste in her mouth. You her girlfriend, wearing a Spain shirt with someone else’s name of the back.

“That was unfair” Irene tells her “I know you are disappointed in the result, we all are but she came over here to make sure you were ok. She chose you over her team and you threw her kindness in her face”

“How are you so calm? You were the one that was fouled” Aitana tries to defend her reaction.

“Y/N didn’t foul me. This is part of football, you know this” 

“I don’t care, we deserved better” Aitana says as she walks away, no longer wanting to be on the pitch as the crowd sing in celebration.

When you celebrate with the team in the locker room, a number of them know something is wrong but they put it down to the fact that you had just knocked out some of your best friends.

After you get a shower you sit in the locker as you gather your things.

“You ok?” Leah asks slightly concerned “are you hurt? You did take a few knocks tonight” 

“I’m fine just a little sore” you say refusing to shift your focus off your bag.

“Y/N” the captain says, her tone making it obvious that she knows something is wrong.

You look up and she sees the pain in your eyes but doesn’t push you. 

Once everyone was showered and changed you all head to the bus.

****************

Meanwhile in the Spain locker room, Aitana is getting another lecture.

“Why did you do that?” Leila asks her.

“I don’t know” Aitana replies, the adrenaline of the game has worn off and she knows that what she did was wrong.

“We leave tomorrow, if I were you I would make it right before then” the new Manchester City defender suggests.

Aitana plans to do just that but first she cleans her self up and changes into her travel clothes. She leaves her locker room and goes to yours. Her heart beat quickens as she get closer knowing that she is walking straight into the lions den, well technically the lionesses den. She hesitates at the door not sure if this the best idea, she doesn’t want to interrupt your celebrations but it is only when she knocks that she realises she cannot hear any music or cheering, instead it is silent. 

She stops knocking, slowly opening the door to find the room empty, not an England player in sight. You and the girls have already left, she is too late. 

“That was quick, the win must have put Y/N in a forgiving mood” Mapi says surprised that she was back so quickly. 

“They have already left” Aitana replies as she finishes packing up her things “I’ll meet you on the bus”

Aitana is disappointed, in herself, in her performance and in the way she handled things. She knows that she has hurt you and knows she won’t have the chance to apologise. The thought of not knowing where she stands with you leaves an uneasy feeling in her gut. 

“Have you tried calling or texting her?” 

She rolls her eyes at her stupidity, why hasn’t she thought of that.  She dials your number only to reach your voicemail. 

“Y/N won’t answer. She has been turning her phone off after the games” Patri says like it is an obvious fact. 

“How do you know that? I didn’t know that” Aitana asks. Thinking about it now it makes sense, you only replied to her texts and called her the day after your games. 

Feeling defeated Aitana heads to the bus wanting nothing more than for this night to be over. 

She puts her earphones in, disconnecting from the outside world. It is only when she feels a tap on her shoulder that she takes one out. 

“I’m meeting up with Ingrid later” when Aitana tries to respond Mapi brings her finger to her lips silencing the midfielder “I know we have rules but after tonights game I need to see my girl. If you want we can take you to see yours?”

Aitana’s eyes light up at the suggestion. 

That is how she finds herself standing outside the England hotel. 

“What are you waiting for?“Mapi says earning a slap on the arm from Ingrid. 

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” Aitana asks now questioning if this is good idea. 

“Of course you doesn’t want to see you, you snapped at her in front the team” again the defender gets a slap.

“Baby, stop hitting me” 

“Then stop being mean” Ingrid tell her girlfriend before turning her attention to her Barcelona team mate “it’s hard playing for different teams, I would hate to play you guys in a knockout round and I know Y/N wanted to avoid it at all costs too. Something else I know about her is how much she loves you, I see it everyday at training or in the way she looks at you when we go out. I guess what I’m saying is you two are made for each other, you’ll get through this” 

Aitana listens to the Norwegian knowing that she is right. 

“I wouldn’t be worried about seeing Y/N” Mapi says. 

“Thanks”

“I would worry about getting through her team mates” Mapi words strike fear in her. She didn’t think of that. She didn’t know what room you were in so her only option was to find one of the girls and ask them. 

“Ignore her. We will be on the bench over there” Ingrid says pointing to a bench that over looks the sea. 

Aitana walks in the the hotel. She didn’t know where to start, would you even be there? You did just get through go the semi final, what if you had gone out?

“Aitana?” 

Turning around she is met with her new team mate. 

“Hi Lucy, have you”

“Seen Y/N?” Lucy finishes her sentence “not since we got back” 

 “We are meeting the rest of the girls in the bar, she might be there. You can come with us if you want?” Kiera suggests. 

“Thank you. Oh and congratulations on reaching the semis” Aitana says not sure if she said it to them on the pitch. 

“For what is worth, that was the hardest game we have played in a long while” 

She knows that it suppose to bring her comfort but it doesn’t. Not sure how to respond without coming across sarcastic, Aitana just follows the couple to the bar. 

When they enter she sees multiple England players, her eyes begin scanning the room for one in particular but you aren’t there. 

“Do any of you know where Y/N is?” Lucy asks the group of girls. 

This is where things get a little confusing. Only as handful of the England girls knew about your relationship with the Spaniard so seeing her there after that game that just took place makes no sense. 

“She hasn’t come down yet” Beth replies. 

Aitana eyes find Leah’s. The England captain was the first person you told about the two of you and by the look on her face it is clear to Aitana that she knows something is wrong. 

“How is she?” Aitana asks the defender. 

Leah is reluctant to answer. 

“I messed up and I just want to make things right” 

“I don’t know, she is really hurt” Leah wants to protect you. 

“Please Leah” Aitana begs “ I love her and I don’t want to leave this country without telling her how sorry I am”

Once the three words are said heads begin to turn. Suddenly your reaction to beating them makes more sense, the way you didn’t want to celebrate because it would mean you are happy that your girlfriend would be out of the competition. 

“You’re dating Y/N?” Lauren asks. 

Aitana simply nods before turning her attention back to Leah. Her eyes pleading for the captain to let her see you. 

“G” Leah looks at Georgia “go get her, tell her that Sarina wants to see her”

“You think that she wouldn’t come if she knew it was me?” The thought of tricking you into doing something you didn’t want to do didn’t sit well with Aitana even it is was the only way she could see you. 

“It’s not that. It’s just that I know that she will definitely come it is Sarina asking” Leah replies honestly. 

Aitana sits there with your team mates, an uncomfortable silence surrounding them so it is easy to hear when the door opens. When she turns she sees you, she sees the red eyes that she has caused.  

“Hurt her again and I will find you. I don’t care how fast you are” Georgia tells her. 

“G. Stand down” you laugh slightly at your room mates protectiveness. 

Georgia leaves the two of you alone. Only you’re not alone as you can feel the rest of your teams eyes on you. 

You begin to walk away, leaving Aitana standing there. 

“Are you coming?” You tell her whilst still walking to the exit. 

Your question goes unanswered but when you hear foot steps getting closer and closer you know that she is following you. 

Knowing that it is best have this conversation in private, you lead Aitana to the entrance of the hotel, deciding to walk along the beach front. The two of you walk in silence for a few moments. With each step you take Aitana walks closer to you, without realising your hands brush against one another then you feel your girlfriends fingers intertwine with yours. Much to her surprise you don’t pull away, this gives Aitana the confidence to start the conversation. 

“I’m sorry Y/N. What I said on the pitch was unfair” she stops talking as she tries to gauge your reaction, you keep facing forward as you walk towards the pier. She takes this as a sign to continue. 

“I was so angry with the referees decision and I took it out on you” 

“It wasn’t a foul” you are quick to respond as you come to Alessia’a defence. 

“Y/N” Aitana pleads knowing that this will end in an argument, another one. 

“Just saying” you stubbornness matches Aitana’s to a tee. 

“Let’s agree to disagree” you hum in agreement, still not making eye contact with her. 

“I should never have compared you to the United States” Aitana tries to remember everything she said in the heat of the moment, making sure to apologise for it all. 

“No you shouldn’t” 

“I’m also sorry for saying you don’t deserve to win”

Still you don’t look at her. 

“Please look at me” and you do, it is only then that Aitana sees the damage she had caused when she sees a tear fall down your cheek. She doesn’t know what to say. 

“I don’t care about what you said, well I do but that I what upset me the most” you quickly wipe away the tear “you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough”

Aitana knew this. She knew as she watched you walk away on the pitch that she had brought life your past insecurities. The ones that you had worked so hard on over the past couple of seasons at Barcelona to get rid of. 

“You knew what your words would do to me and you didn’t stop”

“I know and I’m trying to apologise. Tell me when I can do to make realise how sorry I am” 

That’s just it. You don’t know what she can say to change it then an idea comes to mind. 

You stop in your tracks and turn to face her “Say it’s coming home” you tell her. 

Aitana cannot help but laugh, a smile tugging at her lips. 

“Y/N” 

“Aitana. You said some very hurtful things, now I am telling you what to do to fix it”

Still, the Spaniard hesitates. 

“Don’t be such a sore loser” at this point Aitana knows that she is forgiven. She can see it in your eyes, where there was sadness there is now joy, you are teasing her and deep down she loves it. 

“It’s coming home” Aitana admits defeat and it is worth it when she sees a Cheshire Cat grin on your face.  

“Damn right it is” you say satisfied with your efforts. 

At this point Aitana takes a step towards you, then another one before wrapping her arms around your waist as she rests her head on your chest. You in return wrap your arms around her shoulders holding her tightly, resting your chin on top of the smaller girls head. 

[blissfulparker]

Wipeout⇔ Surfer!Dad!tom

Parings: surfer!dad!tom x surfer!reader

Summary; You and Tom spend your whole relationship in the water. Surfing under the summer sun and competing in summers biggest surf competition. To a surpise, you and Tom take on the biggest challenge nature could throw at you. A baby.

Wc: 9k

Warnings: mentions of insecurities durning pregnancy, fluff

A/n: I know this isn’t a birthday themed fic for Toms b-day but I hope you all enjoy! My little spin on a summer fic with dad!tom 🥰

June.

The summer breeze rose goosebumps to your skin. Your hands coming up to rub your arms as the water was only a bit colder today.

it was summer, the best part of the year when you lived with a beach in your backyard. Spending your whole life surfing you now prepared for the summer tournament that happened only weeks away from now. Surfers, fans, media come in from nearly all over the world just to compete.

To feel a wave under their boards and the adrenaline that rushes through your blood when you finally get on top. The same competition that lead you to Tom, Tom who was now your boyfriend of two years. At first, you laughed at the boy.

Pale, shy—yet so cocky and from London of all places. The most water they got is from the sky. You wanted to laugh with your friends for how confident he was acting, little rain boy wanted to have a chance in the big ocean and he did. To your shock, he scored better than you and scored to be in the top 10. Your laughs stopped after competition and maybe it was the slight momentary enemy thing or it was that deep blue bikini that made him find you after the games and get you out for a drink.

That drink was truly a shared basket of fish and chips as you talked more and more about each other. Pale, rainy London boy ended up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

“You wiped out twice!” He sits atop his board and your hands rub over your face.

“Maybe because I’m distracted!” You splash water in his direction. His toned abs always tanner during g this year and it was hard for the both of you to control yourself. “I’m just tired, stressed.” You shrugged it off truthfully.

“You fell asleep at 8:00 last night, grandma.” He teased and you rolled your eyes.

“Competition stress.” You point to him and he shrugs. If he’s honest, within the two years he’s known you, two years he’s loved and wondered where you had been all his life, he knew your stress. When you were stressed you oftentimes took long showers or wrote in your journal for hours on end but this time your stress was sleeping early/in late and a few times he’s caught you throwing up. All under the name of stress.

He didn’t push anything though, reminding you that he is there and you could tell him anything. But nonetheless, he left you be and just kissed your cheek and told you everything was okay.

“Race you to shore and whoever gets back inside first gets the leftover chicken from last night!” He starts to swim and you quickly flatten yourself on your board.

“What are we like five?” You call out but still push yourself to go faster. Pushing yourself to race him to shore.

Even though Toms board was definitely double his size, he still beat you into the house, already washed off and reheating the leftovers for lunch. After a morning swim you always had lunch before you went off to work where you would teach little kids how to surf. No matter what, you were always around the water.

“So I was checking the competition list this week, checking to see if there’s anyone new…” he trails off on a story. The two of you share the chicken and fries before you suddenly get a disgusted taste in your mouth. The chicken suddenly becomes sour in your mouth but you force yourself to swallow, Tom notices the change and he stops everything to make sure you’re okay.

“Darling, what is it?” He has a worried look but you shake your head.

“Nothing—it’s nothing. I-I just think this part of my chicken was a bit undercooked and it grossed me out. It’s nothing.” You smiled at him and he waited a second before continuing his story.

But that wasn’t the end of it, the next bite even more sour and this time you drop your fork and open the trash can to spit it out. The spitting then followed by spitting up all of your breakfast and lunch. Tom quickly coming to move any stray hair and rubbing your back as he tried to not throw up himself.

When you were done, he quickly closed the trash can lid and got you into the bathroom where he assembled the toothbrush for you.

“Peaches, I know that you told me not to worry but this is the third time this week.” He folded his arms as he leans against the wall.

“I’m fine.” You say through a mouth filled with toothpaste. Spitting into the sink and rinsing your mouth while also splashing some water over your face. When you look back up, just a bit, your eyes flicker to the untouched box of tampons.

One week late wasn’t so bad, one week late was just some built up stress and every women had been a week or two late before. But before tom can take notice in your distraction, you turn around to him who hands you a towel.

“But you’re not fine.” He argues a bit gently, not wanting to offend you.

“Tom, in school I would throw up during exam seasons all the time. It’s just stress okay? Better than losing hair or breaking out I guess.” You try and joke with him but he doesn’t exactly laugh. Just stares at you worried and you push back a few of his curls.

“Hey, look at me,” you tell him and his eyes meet yours. “I’m fine, seriously! Just a bit of stress and nothing the ocean water and you can’t fix.” You kiss his cheek and he finally smiles.

“Can you go see a doctor? For yourself and if not for yourself then for me, I want you to do good at competition and you know they won’t let you compete if you are sick in anyway.” He rubs up and down your sides and you sigh. Hating the doctors but you agree.

“Okay, okay. I’ll make an appointment but they will just tell me I just have butterflies.” You tell him and that’s when he grows a smirk.

“Aw, babe, I didn’t know after all these years I still gave you butterflies!” He teased and you rolled your eyes playfully nudging your body against him. Both leaving the bathroom, your eyes flicker over to the untouched box to tampons that just taunt you one last time before tom shuts the bathroom door. It was possible, you just didn’t want it to be possible just yet.

-

“I should’ve canceled, I should be there!” Tom speaks through the phone. You sat in an empty, cold doctors office waiting for blood results to get back.

Despite Toms over worrying, everything was fine. They couldn’t find anything physically wrong with you and agreed when you mentioned how it was just anxiety and nerves. Yet they still had to run a blood test to make sure it wasn’t anything they missed and couldn’t see with the naked eye.

Meanwhile tom had to be the most dramatic person out there. You always told him if he was not a surfer he would be an actor. It was impressive how every single night before bed he had a new condition to diagnose you with. Some so severe and outrageous you had to remind him that this wasn’t 1600s England and that you didn’t have the plague. That things were just from stress and if it was a stomach bug then let it run through.

Yet he would rant to you nearly every single night about how he’s always loved you and hated that this was the way to go. Always with that you would smack him with a pillow and tell him to go to sleep and with that he would kiss your cheek and hold you tight as he fell asleep.

“Tom, it’s fine. Seriously! They said they couldn’t find anything wrong, you’d be wasting your time to come here. The most you’d get out of this visit is maybe a sticker. Does Tommy want his girlfriend to bring him back a sticker?” You used a baby voice and you could practically hear him going red.

With a scoff he replies, “Ugh, no. What am I like five?” He pauses for a moment. “But what kind do they have? Were you able to check?” He asked in more of a quiet voice and you laugh.

“No clue. But the nurse told me the best thing I could do is just drink some tea and rest. Maybe they have some spiderman stickers or Sofia the first stickers.” You fiddle with the loose thread on your pants. Ending with a joke to calm both yours and Tom's nerves.

With a smirk, Tom Says, “you’ve been drinking some British tea for awhile—“ he jokes and you quickly cut him off.

“Tom!” You say and as if it was a sign, the nurse comes back in with a clipboard and a gentle smile. “Hey, I’ll call you back, the nurse has my results.”

“Wait! Before you go, ask them to check for tapeworms—“ before he could finish you hung up.

“He’s just dramatic.” You laughed a bit and the nurse laughed along before taking a seat across from you. She clicks her pen which makes you nervous for some reason.

“So your blood came back fine, everything is okay. I just have a few little things such as are you on any birth control?” She asked and you shook your head.

“Oh no, um...haven’t been for a while. But my boyfriend and I use protection and we’re safe. We only used planB once and that was a year ago.” You tell her but she looks up at you. Nodding as she purses her lips.

“Condoms only go so far sweetheart. We just have to ask patients who we find to be with a child incase of any birth control so we can remove it immediately, the birth control, I mean, remove that immediately.” With child. You were with a child. Pregnant. Your heart nearly falls out of your chest and the nurse says a few more things but they don’t register.

“Y-You mean there’s a baby inside of me?” You don’t know what color you look right now but you would assume pale, or green with the feeling of vomiting and this time not from slightly uncooked raw leftover chicken.

“Yup, about one month along it looks! We still will want to run more tests and…” she talks more and more but you don’t listen. Your brain foggy, you don’t know if you’re going to pass out or throw up or shit everywhere from how nervous you were. Hell, even all three seemed like an option as she talked. “So I’ll leave you to tell the important news?” She asked. This was apart of her regular day to day, she probably had hundreds of girls like you come in. Clueless and thinking of a stomach bug and then finding out they are pregnant.

“Y-Yeah.” You try to form a smile.

“Perfect, just meet me up at the desk whenever you’re ready. There’s a bathroom down the hall if you are feeling queasy and of course, help yourself to as many waters in the mini fridge in our waiting room. Congratulations!” She says before she turns out and all you hear is the door click shut. The white noise of the light and the taps of your fingernails against the cool metal bed.

You know it was professional and sweet of her to allow you space to call your significant other but you only stare at Tom's contact. Staring at the word ‘Tommy’ with almost all the heart emojis and his contact pictures of him with the biggest smile.

You have no guts to tell him right in the moment, but rather get off of the paper coated bed and grab your things to leave. Setting up a new appointment with your doctor to see more into the baby. Pregnant, with child, before competition. You and Tom were going to have a faimily.

July.

Tom still hadn’t known the news. It had only been a week but the guilt still ate you alive.

You didn’t want to worry or stress him. You yourself still tried to wrap your brain around it. A baby, every breath you took, every bite of food you ate, every drink you swallowed and every step you took there was a baby you shared it with.

You think about how every time tom had wrapped his arms around your waist this week he gently touched over the baby. Kissing your lying lips, you hated yourself for it.

As for competition, your mind nearly forgot. Still getting in the waters everyday with Tom but this time a bit more cautious. Everytime Tom worried for you, you quickly would cover his worry up with either a joke or kisses.

As for the throwing up, morning sickness was something that came in and out. You started hating the smell of bacon tom cooked in the morning but just waved it off. He noticed your decline in caffeine and beers and wines but you just told him the best athletes only had what’s best for their body before performing.

Tom believed all of it. Every single white lie you told—even though you hated yourself for telling them— believed them.

“How ya feeling?” Toms lips met your forehead as you cuddled up on the couch today. Extra tired and almost positive the baby was screaming at you for rest. You cuddled a bowl of popcorn and a water bottle.

“Mmh, just fine.” You give him a smile as his lips come down to meet yours.

Stealing some popcorn from the bowl, he heads over to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

“I’m thinking we do shrimp tonight?” He looked over and you made a face.

“Ew, no.” You shake your head and he gives a furrowed brow look.

“What? You love shrimp!” He responds and you feel yourself growing hot. Hiding deeper in the Blanket and not wanting to show your face.

“Well, I’m just not in the mood for it tonight.” That was another thing, lots and lots of emotions. Luckily Tom had plenty of emotions to match.

“Okay...tuna?” He offers and you shook your head. “Steak?” Once again and no. “Chicken?” No. “Okay, love, you’ve gotta help me out. I know you’re not feeling well but I’m helpless in here.” He says and your eyes start to water. He notices and immediately comes over.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he comes in front of the couch and crouches down to you. “What’s wrong?” He stroked your cheek and you shook your head.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” You sniffle. “Seriously, I’ll help you. I’m thinking pasta.” You smiled and he did too.

“Yeah that’s not too bad.”

And so you two made and ate dinner completely normally. No tears from you, no sickness from you. Tom only talked about the waves out today and how much you would’ve loved it. Now you two spent time washing up.

“You think that one girl with red hair will be there like last year? She was so annoying.” You laughed as you got excited again for competition. Tom grew tense as you mentioned it. You noticed that. How he didn’t talk much about competition anymore. It went from the only thing you two talked about to now nothing. You knew how excited he was, the both of you were but suddenly it was like that excitement was put in a box to rest.

“Yeah...she was.” He kinda laughed but then just washed harder at the dish.

“Everything okay? You’ve kinda stopped talking about competition.” You put down your plate and that's when he took a deep breath.

“It’s nothing, I promise.” He tells you, pressing his lips into a lying smile that you knew.

“Baby, you can tell me anything you know. I’m always here for—“ and with that, he cut you off and told you the words you hated to hear.

“I-I took you out of the competition,” Tom sighed, dropping the dish rag on the counter in defeat. He watches as your face goes from annoyed to shock. Anger builds behind the eyes he find peace in. “It was wrong me me to do so—“

“damn right it was wrong of you to do so!” You slam your hand on the counter. “W-why would you?”

“You were sick! You were so sick for so long and what was I going to let you do? just make yourself worse—“

“it was the stress! I told you it was the—“

The built up ignored tension between you both finally caused him to snap.

“Is your period being late stress too?” His words caused the room to be silent. You take a sharp breath as you stare at him with anger but not at him anymore, at the fear of your new life.

“I’m just late, it’s normal for a woman like me to be rhis stressed and late...” you trailed off and this time he had the red face.

“Bullshit. What happened at that doctors appointment.” He demanded. You didn’t say a word at first which only angered him more. “Damnit (y/n)—“

“I’m pregnant.” You finally cry out and he knew his thoughts could be true, he knew they had to be but the moment those words left your mouth his whole body froze. He went pale with fear and shock, his hand no longer gripping the counter out of anger but out of support in case he passes out. The tears that left your eyes were uncontrollable as you let out a sob, the first sob that snapped tom back into reality.

He didn’t think twice, his arms supportively wrap around you as he tells you sweet nothings to try and calm you and himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He mumbled into your hair. You swallowed hard as you pulled back, your face wet with tears and you sniffled. His thumbs come up to wipe away each tear and each trace of mascara.

“Because I wanted to be normal still! I wanted to compete, I wanted to surf! I can’t surf anymore tom, i'm going to be a mom and I won’t have time for surfing.” You sob more and he only pulls you back into his grasp.

“I’m so selfish and stupid to even think to compete but I just want to n-not—“ you can’t even spit it out anymore.

“Who said you can’t surf when you’re a mom?” He moved back to hold your face. You didn’t look at him, he wasn’t going to force you to either. This was your decisions right now, he just wanted to listen.

“When you’re a woman and a mother, everything is for your child. You will have time to surf because you’re a dad but no one wants a mom to do anything but take care of their kid and I’ll love this baby so much, I will, but don’t want to lose myself. I’m young, you’re young and you’re about to be the next big thing.” You punch his shoulder playfully trying to lighten things up. “I—i-W-we’ll—“ you start again and he shakes his head.

“Don’t even say it. Sweetheart, you’re having a baby, our baby. I will make sure you still surf, when it’s safe, Of course. I-I don’t even have the words right now, my heart is racing, feel it.” He placed your hand over his chest to feel his pounding heart. “You will be (y/n) Holland, the infamous surfer that beat Tom Holland twice last year and you will be the mother to our kid. Their badass mom.” He cracks a smile as his hand goes to your stomach.

A shared moment where he only touches the stomach as he learns about it. You look at him softly and he looks at you as if you were the entire world. As if he was a little kid at sea world for the first time, he looks at you with beauty and hope and a hint of thankfulness

“For a minute,” you speak again. “I thought you were completely calm about this.” You chuckle and he shakes his head.

“No, I actually think I’m going to throw up.” He held his breath for a moment before he moved to the trash can and emptied his worried stomach.

This time it was you rubbing his back and wiping his mouth. Maybe you wanted to roll your eyes at the Irony but you just knew he loved you.

Holland. He used the last name Holland on you for the first time you’d ever heard it. He said it so confidently as if you two were already married. Holland. You can get use to that.

-

Day of competition

there was this sort of shock in everyone’s face as they watched you walk in shorts and a tee. Joining the crowds of people instead of getting ready for the waves of water.

This year was no wetsuit with your board, slathering sunscreen on your face as you got ready but rather taking a seat in that sand just like everyone else. Carrying a baby no one knew about except you and Tom and a few friends and family.

Your body was warm with nerves, hundreds of cameras here usually captured the sea, interviewing the surfers afterwards. Although it was not like Hollywood, there was no TMZ or dailymail, but there was enough interest and news casters to tilt their heads for why they infamous (y/n) (y/l/n)—soon to be (y/n) Holland—took a seat with the friends and family. Cheering on from the sand.

“Hey.” Z snaps you out of your constant looking around, how your eyes never focused on one thing.

“Ease up a bit, babes, no one even knows.” She knew, you knew you had to explain to her when you were sitting out. Just as Tom explained to his brothers and the two of you both would explain to his mother after competition. For he knew the women would get so excited she would explode

“Right.” Was all you said as you started clapping with the rest of the crowd when the games begun. It would be a moment for them to get to tom, they always let the younger ones go first, you and Tom were in that fine middle where you had to wait just for the middle of the games.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” Z asked with a hint of excitement to her voice. She kept it quite enough to where it was just you.

“I’m okay with either.” You didn’t ever care much for gender, although a girl would be nice to balance out the male testosterone you’re always around. “A girl would be nice though.” You smile at Z.

She gives a smile back, leans back on the towel as she soaks up the sun. “And Tom?” She asked and you shrugged.

He had talked about almost everything but a boy or girl, when you asked if he cared he told you,

“as long as they have two arms, two legs, a torso, a head, comes out of me with no trouble, then it’s a perfect surfing buddy.” You quote him exactly, smiling at his words from a few nights ago.

When he found out, his hands never left your stomach, even though you reminded him the baby was only the size of a grape. That well...it was just a bunch of cells forming up in the moment that couldn’t exactly kick for it had legs the size of your pinky nail. He still waited, he waited and waited, you didn’t even know what he was waiting for at one point for he would pause between his words at the baby or when he asked you a question he looked down at your stomach as if they would reply for you or before you.

“I know hes nervous as hell, but he’s so excited, I know it. The other day Harrison told me he cried when he told him. Tom, crying.” Z laughed a bit and you did too.

“If you think I’m the emotional one...turn on coco or inside out and see what happens to that man.” You chuckled as you turned your head back to the waters to watch tom with a smile on his face blow a kiss in your direction before getting on his board. Paddling out to the sea you watch him get ready to take the first wave, the crowd goes wild and your hand rests over your stomach.

This time, next year, you would sit on these sands with a smaller version of the two of you.

August.

Being early in your pregnancy but far enough to show was not as glamorous as people made it be.

Your shorts no longer fit, shirts started to get loose at the top and tight at the bottom and for the love of heaven you slept so much. Tom liked the idea of endless naps, somedays you wondered if he was the pregnant one instead of you. As he slouched around, ate just as many snacks as you and started to even complain about some of the same things you did.

Maybe it was the impact your moods had on him or the fact he stopped drinking caffeine since you no longer could have it and he didn’t know what his life was before morning coffee was with you. He was almost the same as you were durning the pregnancy.

“What are you doing?” Putting on a bikini for the first time since you told Tom. For the first time in about a month. You didn’t like the fit much anymore, the bloation you constantly had and the extra weight you now carried in your thighs, arms and breasts made you insecure. The top that used to fit perfect now had you grunting to tie. But you had to wear what you had to wear to get you in the water.

“I’m coming with you to the beach.” You say innocently and he shakes his head.

“You’re not picking up a board, you know that. Besides, the waters have been rough lately, there’s that storm coming in and one hard wave can hit you and I don’t want that to happen.” He exaggerates and you look at him with a dead stare.

“Tom, I haven’t touched the water in over a month, I’m pretty sure my skin cells are changing because of it.” You exaggerate as well and he comes up to you.

“Well, I’m not letting you in the water. It’s too dangerous.” He was serious, at first you thought he was just being dramatic, he was still going to let you swim but he was 100% serious.

“Tom, you’re kidding.” You scoff a bit and he shakes his head.

“I’m sorry darling, I know a lot is happening—“ he starts and you move back.

“The doctor said I am healthy enough to be physically active and I—“ before you could finish he cut you off.

“The doctor said you could do some squats, leg workouts, lift a 5lb weight, that was the type of exercise he said. The waters are too dangerous, please don’t argue with me.” He pleads but your emotions get the best of you. Anger starting to build and your body heating up.

Tom had learnt one thing so far; don’t upset the pregnant women and that’s exactly what he did.

“You’re telling me to not argue with you when you are the one holding me hostage in my own home? God, Tom, I have a life still too! A month ago you said you understood what it was going to take and now you’re treating me the way I specifically asked not to! I’m getting in the water, I haven’t been in the water for months it feels like and that’s all I know—“ your rant continues but Tom isn’t looking at you anymore. He’s looking at your side view in the mirror.

Your bump is showing, the bump he swore he could kinda feel but not see was now showing. Almost like it grew overnight.

“Fuck, Tom! Look at me while I’m—“ you start to yell again but he steps closer.

“Look.” He stares at the mirror and comes closer to your bump.

“Oh my…” you see exactly what he’s seeing. The small curve outwards that is your swollen stomach. Your bump.

“May I?” He asked and your mood went from angry to overfilled with happiness. Your eyes starting to tear ss you nodded.

“Tom, it’s your child too, you can touch.” You told him and he did. Your hand even went to your stomach as you rubbed over the bump that was barely forming.

“It’s like it happened overnight.” He laughed a bit and you did too.

“I swear it wasn’t there last night when I got out of the shower. I swear.” You let a few tears fall and he peppers soft kisses.

“I’m sorry.” He gently stroked at the stomach and you sniffled.

“I’m sorry too. I know you just want what’s best for us but I’m just…” you sniffle some more not being able to finish.

“I know baby, I know.” He gets up and wraps his arms around your back. Pulling you in for a hug for you to cry on his chest. So emotional over everything but he was right there. Right there with you.

“We can call the doctor about you surfing, we can call him right now if you want. But I just can’t lose you.” He gives a smile and you nod as your lips meet with his.

“C-can you order the chicken from the place I like?” You finally regain your composure and he nods.

“Of course, anything else?” He looks down at the stomach and you shake your head.

“No, not for now.” You smile down at the small bump forming. “Wait!” You stop him as he’s leaving to grab the phone. He turns to face a guilty looking you, “and mozzarella sticks.” You rub your stomach and he nods. With a faint smile he goes,

“always.” As that was your constant craving. Leaving you in the room for a moment and coming back to see you dressed back ins sweats and a tee shirt, Tom smiled and gladly cuddled up next to you, rubbing and talking to the bump about the future. Maybe you couldn’t surf, but you had Tom right by your side.

December.

Christmas cookies and sweetly salted popcorn occupied your side as you spent a snowy Christmas in London. No beach, no blazing sun even during the day, Tom took you home where you were now five months pregnant.

Heavily showing and to even think you wanted to go surfing months ago was laughable. You hated getting up to shower somedays for it was too much work.

“Darling, Angel, my pretty girl,” Tom sat next to you nervous with his next words. “I know you’re pregnant but there are only so many Christmas cookies.” He told you and you smacked his shoulder.

“Thomas, she’s pregnant! She’s allowed as many cookies as she wants besides there are more in the oven but pregnant women gets first pick as she is carrying my grandchild.” His mom immediately came to your defense. Taking so much good care of you while you were here, Tom doesn’t even think he got this much affection as a sick child.

“I wasn’t saying it’s a bad thing for her to eat cookies, I just want one!” Tom defended himself and you handed him a cookie and you felt your baby kick.

“See? They don't even want you stealing our cookies. I’m eating for two, I’m eating for your baby. You eat a lot by the way! Remember that summer you went through the whole fridge in a week? Yeah, now I’m eating for a tiny version of that! And myself! It’s hard out here for me and what did you do huh? Take two minutes!” You snatched the cookie back from him and rubbed your stomach. His brothers stifled a laugh and Tom grew red in embarrassment.

“I last longer than two minutes.” He says is a mumble.

Rolling your eyes, You rested your head on Toms shoulder and moved his hand over to the kicking stomach. “She says thank you.” You smile as you take a bite from the cookie.

“A she?” His mom perks up and the rest of the family does.

It was a mistake, you and Tom had a battle of the sexes. It seemed as if you didn’t want to know the gender right before your winter holiday. Or really the gender at all. The gender was available for you guys now but you both didn’t see it as a big deal. The baby’s room would be filled with ocean themed toys and a gentle blue wall Anyways. And besides, whatever they decide to be they would make the perfect surfing buddy. Although it was still fun to think of, You thought a girl and Tom swore a boy.

“No, mum, we still don’t know I promise. (Y/n) is just messing around.” He swore and the family relaxed again.

“He’s right, I am just joking. Tom is probably right with his assumption, thinking it may be a boy. With all this moving and eating, just like Tom.” You poke his cheek and Tom again flusters in embarrassment.

“Hey, I have a fast metabolism.” He told you and you kissed his temple.

“I know baby, I’m just teasing you. My man knows how to stay fit and sexy.” You playfully rub his stomach and suddenly the stifled laughs from the boys turn into disgusted noises.

There was everything to indicate a boy, well, mostly just a gut feeling. Tom's mother described her pregnancy with Tom to you and it was nearly the same. A baby boy, you could see that. You would need another fridge and a lot more paper towels assuming the babe will be like Tom and eat yet spill everything. You liked the idea of a boy. Plus, Tom had been playing a stupid game where he asked the baby questions making it kick for an answer. When Tom asked if it was a boy or girl, it kicked the moment he said boy.

The ding of the kitchen timer went off, more cookies fresh out of the oven and Tom was quick to jump up.

“Let me help m’lady up.” He grabs your hands and you grunt as you stand up. You walk with Tom at your side and once you are alone eating more cookies in the kitchen your hand rubs over your stomach as you feel the baby kick in excitement.

“Off the topic of gender, I think they miss the ocean. They kick so much just when I sit in the bath like they are having fun in the water.” You mention water and you feel a kick. They couldn’t understand, but they could hear and a smile rose to yours and Tom's face.

“Then they’re just like their mama.” He leans in and kisses your cheek.

“Who knows, maybe once we get back I’ll get in the—“ before you can finish your sentence about surfing, a sharp kick to your bladder causes you to hunch over with a pained face. Tom worried as he held you panicked but you got back up with a deep breath.

“Nevermind, little one didn’t like that idea.” You hold onto his arms tightly.

“Everything okay? Just a bladder kick?” He panicked and you just nodded.

“Yup.” Your face scrunches up again. “Just the bladder.” You suddenly have the urge to pee. “Now shoo, I’ve got to pee.” You tell him and he looks at you in confusion.

“You just peed like—“ you give him a look making him think about how he’s finishing his sentence. “Right, my darling.” He moved out of your way to let you go. Snatching one more cookie from the tray, he smiled as he thought how next year at this exact time, you would be holding a little baby.

April.

One week. You were one week late and as any normal pregnant woman would be resting in bed and rubbing over her swollen belly and anticipating the child’s arrival. Although that was not what you were doing.

Against Tom's wishes, you went back to work to see the kids start up their surfing lessons. Although there would be no swimming for you, no waves for you just yet, seeing the kids happy to be there was something that sparked joy to your heart always. Helped ease your nerves and turn them into excitement.

“Mrs. (Y/l/n)-Holland, look what I learnt how to do!” One of the kids calls out. You had a smile for not only did they call you by both yours and Tom's name, but that they had always been excited to show you new things.

“That was amazing Ryder!” You clapped at the boy who did a handstand. He had a big smile with teeth missing. Your hand went over your stomach again, an aching pain that was noting but a false labor.

The doctor said it was fine. Women always experienced this right before birth and just take a deep breath but don’t waste your time rushing to the hospital just for them to send you home.

It was normal to be late and that you had a stressful year so it was okay. The doctor mentioned that you still felt contractions which meant you were close. But when it was Tom, every slight indicator of pain you felt meant a freak out where he rushed around the house to get the baby bag and try and get you in the car when in reality, you just had to pee. 

“T-That’s really cool.” You wince and the boys face goes from excitement to worry. Within the luck, Tom comes jogging from the parking lot with lunch for the two of you. Hoping to get in the water with the kids and keep an eye on you.

“Hey Angel.” He kissed your cheek but noticed your pain. “Everything okay?” He panicked and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, Ryder here was just showing me how he can do a handstand now—“ you can’t even finish as the pain was strong.

“(Y/n)?” Tom needed to be calm, your face scrunched up as you held your swollen stomach. “Darling, Angel, pretty girl, look at me.” He used all the pet names you liked and you looked up at him with worry in your eyes. “I think it’s time for us to meet the little one.” He nods with a trying smile and you feel an even sharper pain.

“Mmh, I can’t do this.” You breath heavily as you hold onto the stomach. “Yes you can, if you can surf a wave that is 12 feet with no wipeout then you can birth our baby.” He promised and also got the little boy who was so excited to show you his new moves a moment ago to run and get another adult.

“Tom, I-I can’t.” You felt yourself tearing up and he shakes his head. Your heart pounding and mind swarming with worried.

“You can, you will. You are the strongest women I—“ before he can start his motivational speech you cry out in pain.

“Get me in the goddamn car!” You cry and he nods and gets you up before anything worse. He rushes to the hospital as quick as he can, holding your hand and trying to not crash as you hold your stomach and scream.

When he gets to the hospital, he’s still in a wetsuit. They take immediate action into getting you into a room where you are laying with your legs up waiting for a doctor. Holding Tom's hand as you cry.

“Uh sir?” The doctor walks in and looks at the man in the wetsuit. “We’re going to have to ask you to put on scrubs...helps prevent any ourside clothing germs getting on the baby...are you wearing anything under that?” She asked and he immediately started unzipping.

“Jesus tom, not here, she wants you to get changed in the bathroom.” You shake your head as you run your hands over your face. In pain but want to laugh at your worried boyfriend for how he was acting in the moment.

“Right! Right!” He quickly changes from the wetsuit into the scrubs. The doctors look at him funny but let it go as you’re clearly in pain and needing the baby to be out.

“You got this love, you’re doing so good—“ he starts again but you don’t even want to hear it.

“was this really worth two minutes! I’m getting my fucking tubes tied!” You scream at him and he flushes a deep shade of red as one of the nurses giggles.

After one more big push you heard the sound of a cry filled the room. For just a second, all the pain you felt went away as you see the body of your baby, baby boy. You both were right, a beautiful little boy.

“A boy.” Tom breathes out in awe.

“Dad you wanna come cut the cord?” He looked at you for approval and you nodded. He cut the cord with shaky hands, couldn’t focus for the life of him as he just stared at the boy. You only got to hold him for a second before he’s taken off to a bath. Tom following them before they bring him back in a bundle of blankets.

“Oh my…” you hold the beautiful boy. His little lips open just a bit to make a sound while his eyes flutter to adjust to the light. “Look at him tom.” You feel yourself cry and Tom does too.

“Wow, look at you.” He touched the boy's cheek who immediately tried to take the finger into his mouth. “You did that.” He tells you as the two of you admire it.

“We did that.” You tell him and he smiles a bit. “Although yeah, it was mostly me.” The boy stares hard at Tom, Tom who was still in just swim trunks and scrubs.

“Hey, I ate a lot with you during this pregnancy. Even had my own morning sickness.” He teased and you only laughed.

The room going silent for a moment. Hearing the little cooes of your boy as you held him. Toms finger tracing over his cheek when you finally spoke, “Caspian.”

Tom had mentioned how he liked the name for a boy, more than once. It had connections to the water and to Europe so the child would have a bit of both. You had to admit to yourself that you liked it but just wanted to stick with a more casual name. But looking at how he looked at you the moment you said that name, you knew it was the one.

“Caspian?” He repeated and you nodded.

“Caspian Holland.” You told.

He smiled as he kissed your forehead. “Holland? Just that?” He asked as well and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah just like that.” You smiled. A perfect moment in the perfect situation was interrupted by a small nurse who held a tee shirt.

“Uh sir?” The nurse looked at the two of you and both of your attentions were caught. “So unfortunately we have to ask you to wear a shirt, we got one from the lost and found for you hoping that it would fit.” The shirt read “I’m not as fun as mom” and Tom's face dropped. A proud smirk rises to your face as you look at Tom who’s flared his nostrils just a bit to show his embarrassment.

“Yeah Tom, put on the shirt.” You encouraged and he looked at you. His eyes telling you that you’re going to regret that but you can’t wait 15 years into the future to tell your son.

Sighing as he took the shirt from the poor nurse and sat back down on the chair in a huff.

“You’re never letting me live this one down are you?” Shaking your head you look back down at the boy,

“no, I don’t think we will.” You brought your dry cracked lips down to the boys forehead, you had no water within the past hour and screaming with crying seemed to make you as dead as possible. “Caspian. Caspian Holland.” He whispers again. “Thank you.” He looked at you and you furrowed your brows.

“For everything.” After months of no surfing, months of pain and aches, instead of saying anything back you looked at him and said

“sushi.” Was all you said and he furrowed his brows.

“W-what?” He questioned.

“I need sushi, please.” You sigh and he smiled. Months of being unable to eat any fish that was all you wanted in the moment.

“One California roll coming up.” He kissed your cheek and then the boy's cheek. Calling in the nurse, sending for a California roll and tuna.

Caspian was sleeping soundly in Tom's arms while you ate and rested. Everything was worth it, from the moment he stepped on a plane one summer to Hawaii he knew it was worth it for he found a family in the end.

June.

Once again the sand was squishing under your toes. Feeling each and every grain as you held your baby boy tightly bundled in blankets against your chest as you walked out to the beach. He was freshly bathed, you and Tom took turns. You were so eager the moment you were cleared to get back in the water after birth that the day the doctor cleared you for physical activity, you did it.

But tonight wasn’t you getting in the water, it was you greeting Tom and telling him to come back inside.

“Dinner is done.” You call out to him as he jogs back to the two of you. The baby boy cooing as he sees the ocean and his fathers dripping wet figure coming towards them.

“Hey, look who’s out.” He immediately leans in and kisses all over the pretty baby boy's face. “My sweet boy is so fresh and clean.”

You and Tom had argued about who he had looked more like,You or Tom. he had Tom's nose for sure and his big brown eyes that you knew were going to be trouble. If you had a hard time saying no to Tom when he batted his lashes and gave a glossy look, it was going to be impossible to say no to your beautiful boy.

“He just took a bath. But it wasn’t the ocean.” You smiled and Tom pressed a kiss to your face too.

“Mmh, did you?” He looks at the boy who was yawning in his mother’s arms. “Want to swim a bit?” He asked and you shook your head.

After birth, Tom did a lot of the work. He loved it too. He claimed you needed rest, in which you did, but you would often find him just sitting in the nursery staring at the baby boy. Telling him stories to sleep and kissing his face. He would let you surf, bathe, sleep, all while he took care of your beloved boy.

“No, I’m so tired I think if I use my legs any longer they will snap.” You give a pout and Tom immediately kisses it away.

Tom started to gather his stuff, the beach towel and the bag he normally carried and the moment he started to pack up your baby boy let out a wail.

Within the two months of his birth, you were able to identify each cry. When he was hungry it was more of a gurgle, when he was sleepy it was more strained and forced, when he craved touch it was a whimper sounding cry and then there was this. He was simply upset something did not go his way. May you or Tom stepped away for a moment, the bottle gone too early, but now it was his father packing up his stuff that makes him scream a cry that makes heads turn.

“What’s the matter bubs?” Tom pouts as he sets the stuff down and comes over to him.

Once the stuff is set down the cries settle just a bit, settle enough until tom takes him out of your arms and presses him up against his body.

Still wet from the surf, you both think the baby liked it. While Tom occupied little Caspian, you picked up the towels and his bag for him and once again the boy let out a wail cry which made you and Tom furrow your brows.

“I-I don’t know what it is. I-I changed him and I bathed him and he was perfectly fine and—“ you start to panic and as you panic you drop the stuff which calms his cries. Tom immediately took notice and grew a smile that made his heart flutter in his chest.

“(Y/n),” he stops you and you look up at him with a worried look as if you’ve done something wrong. “He wants to stay. He wants to stay on the beach.” Tom says in a calm voice and the boy was now only cooing in Tom's arms. He bounced gently but mostly cooed as his daddy smiled at him.

“H-He knows we’re leaving the beach.” You sigh and come over to the boys. Petting your sons head as he relaxes in his fathers arms.

“Like I’ve always said, just like his mama.” Tom smiled up at you and you caught his lips for a kiss. “Well…” you rub your hands on your thigh, wiping off the sand you got stuck all over your hands. “Since Caspian always gets his way, I better bring dinner out here.” You smile as you poke at the sweet boys face and Tom moves and has a serious face.

“(Y/n), no, you can’t just whip out your boob in front of—OW! I’m kidding!” You smacked his arm for the stupid comment he made that at first had you worried.

“I hate you. I’m bringing out the dinner.” You start to walk off and he smiles.

“You love us!” He shouts back.

“Just Caspian! You? Not much you. remember...you’re not as fun as mom!” You call out to him, sending him a wink and he wants to say something back but he holds his tounge.

Looking down at the baby boy he says, “when I teach you how to surf I need you to beat mums ass a few times while you’re out there. Just for her little comments.” Tom spoke to the boy and he cooes. “Atta boy.” With that he plots down on the sand towel.

Setting caspian down on the towel for just a moment so he can strip from his wetsuit and be closer to him. You come back out balancing the plates of food for you and Tom as you seat next to them and eat. Leaning your head on Toms shoulder and kissing at it.

You never knew that one competition, one amateur British boy and one shared basket of fish and chips could lead you to the best moments of your life. Could lead you to the best family you’ve ever had.

Please leave feedback! It helps me grow as a writer and lets me know what more you want to see!

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[scrawnytreedemon]

Victor Frankenstein and Frustration: a Not-Essay, because I can’t structure for shit.

Alright, I’ll try to keep it as clean and concise as I can, but at the end of the day this is a sorta-heat-in-the-moment thing I’m writing while all the ideas and motivation are in me yet. I will be jumping around alot of topics, as this covers alot of ground, but I can’t say I’ll do it with grace: for this, I apologise.

I’ve noticed a trend in online lit fandom, not just on Tumblr, to condense Victor’s character to something roughly following “arrogant, ineffectual and selfish weenie who failed horribly at parenting, who ought not to be taken seriously in any significant way, largely in-due to his constant whining“ --In other words, a right twat.

And here’s the thing: largely, I agree.

However, what I take issue with, I suppose, is largely how this is all framed.

See, fandom has a tendency to sort characters into boxes, and then pick favourites or bête noires from that selection; this is helpful for the largely memetic(as in, shareable,) nature of online spaces; but where I think this thinking falls short is that it tends to divide casts into More Good or More Evil, with little room for nuance.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Victor Frankenstein, by all accounts, is an incredibly frustrating character to witness; he gets way in over his head, isolates himself from his loved ones, leaving them worried, deems those ambitions failed, hides from them, then when shit starts hitting the fan, he takes initial actions to try and mitigate the consequence, hits a roadblock, either stops their or chooses an even worse option, someone else gets hurt, he whines, rinse and repeat until the final act of the book, as the stakes get higher and higher and his mental state deteriorates more, and more, and more. If you look at this entirely from an outsiders’ perspective, as you, the audience, being subjected to his moaning time and time again, it can wear on you and your sympathies-- Needless to say, I Get It™.

I think, however, it needs be remarked that Victor is also just some guy. 

What I feel is often missed, is that even before Victor goes to university, he has just suffered the loss of his mother, with little time to recover, and that all of this is being told in hindsight, on his deathbed.

When Victor took on, all by himself, at twenty-two years old, not even letting anyone else know what he was up to, the monumental task of creating life, and then finding that life horribly botched, he did not have the perspective that what he created was equivalent to a newborn child-- For all he knew, he might have animated an actual demon. It isn’t until two years later, after the death of his little brother at the hands of said demon, the he’s even remotely made aware of this.

Victor had worn himself out over the course of several months, physically and mentally, to this one task. He was not equipped to deal witht he consequences. I do not say this to downplay the weight of his actions, or the horrible mess of events that come afterwards, but to state perspective. Victor does not have the hindsight we have at the time of this act. I cannot stress this enough. As much as I enjoy Deadbeat Dad Vick jokes, I get the feeling many people actually view the story from this lens, and hold Victor up to that standard.

Then there’s the trial of Justine: a horrible, useless, unneeded and avoidable affair that ends in even more senseless death. This is where alot of people’s sympathy for Victor runs out-- For more than understandable reasons. He failed to act accordingly, to share the information he had, deeming it to be either dismissed instantly or for himself to be put under scrutiny; it’s clear he’s passionate about Justine’s innocence, but he cannot push himself past his fear and doubt, and ultimately, it ends in her death.

It is a horrible, horrible moment, and one that cements the tone of the story from there on out.

These are two key events that largely colour this image of Victor so prevelant online; and it certainly doesn’t help, what with fandom being almost aggressively left-leaning at times, that Victor comes from a place of privilege; he is almost tailor-made to push all the buttons of fandom sensitivities.

Let me elaborate.

A key feature of Victor’s character is his complete and utter inability to ask for help; no matter how dire the situation. Victor feels, that, despite and even because of his incompetence, that it is his cross and his cross alone to bear. Any inolvement from others, such as Clerval when he heads to England, is hesitant and highly discouraged, even when he wants nothing more than to partake in the company of his loved ones, after all he’s been through. While it is also heavily coloured by the anguished sentiment that borders on self-absorption so much of the time, I think it is also worthy to examine this too.

Victor’s tendency to indulge in self-pity and self-loathing is nigh, if not entirely, all-consuming; it pervades the narrative to a painful degree, particularly as it comes from his recollections; it is often exhausting to read through, and nigh unbearable if you already hold a disdane from his previous actions; but here’s the thing I think most people miss,

Victor is depressed.

I don’t mean “ooh, he’s so sad, leave him alone 🥺,“ I mean the guy is fucking depressed, stuck in a constant cycle of attempting to make do but failing, hating himself even more, letting it consume him because he at once feels like he deserves to be consumed and it’s the only thing he can do then and there to soothe to pain as shit gets worse and worse.

Victor Frankenstein’s internal monolgue is a prime example of deep-seated, far-gone depression, and I say this because I myself have experienced and do experience this. Depression is fucking soul-sucking, man; it turns you in on yourself, makes you feel entirely undeserving of love and compassion, leaves you feeling like you must, have to, deal with this entirely by yourself because it is your cross to bear.

Depression is so often self-flagellating and pointless, leaving the subject drained and often largely unable to experience the world outside their own miserable little bubble.

Victor is so wrapped up in this soul-sucking guilt, attempting to fight his own ineffectuality and in doing so only furthering his own ineffectuality, refusing to ask for help, that he ends up putting the ones he’s trying to protect in further danger as he tries to scramble a hodge-podge solution to the problem he created and couldn’t have even begun to forsee its consequences at twenty-two years old. It is a painful, painful example of how if only he reached out, if only he told someone, was honest, all of this could have been avoided, or at least mitigated.

And I think that’s the thing with Victor.

He’s a kind of banal evil-- If such continuous stumbling can even be considered so --He is an example of every day self-isolation and refusal to let anyone else in ballooning to such a degree it ends in distaster.

People are far, far more willing to forgive Adam for his transgressions-- And I say this as someone far more sympathetic to his plight, what with the absolute abandonment he faced at the hands of humanity --Despite their far more horrific consequences; in many ways, they’re attributed to Victor’s failing; which isn’t entirely untrue,

But I have to wonder, if alot of this also comes down to the fact that Victor’s wrongdoings are so human; leaving someone in your care behind; not speaking up in cases of injustice; being self-involved; again, the constant whining. In a way, it’s the sentiment that in stories a horrible person is often far more bearable than an annoying one.

That doesn’t even begin to touch on how much of the bemoaning might largely be and often is directly post-hoc regret colouring all his previous actions. This, above all else, is a cautionary tale to a fellow idealist in the hopes that Robert Walton doesn’t Fuck Up the way he did. Victor stresses his regret and his failings and his misery time and time again because he wants to protect Robert from a similar fate; a fate that ultimately ends in his death.

Victor Frankenstein is a study in frustration; in audience frustration, self-frustration, narrative frustration; it seeps into every corner of the story.

I am not trying to defend Victor Frankenstein as a person; he is flawed; and he’s meant to be flawed. Victor, at the end of the day, is a deconstruction of the Byronic hero-- Of Great and Powerful Men on the Fronteers of History™-- And most importantly, I think, a deconstruction he himself undergoes. Victor eventually alerts someone, a Genevan magistrate, is doubted just as he feared, and then runs off to take revenge into his own hands.

It takes the death of Elizabeth Lavenza to do so.

Victor is a flawed, miserable man, but not an evil one. That doesn’t mean he deserved to have his life crumble around him.

He could have done better. Should have done better.

And he knows this.

His entire arc is about how he knows this.

Victor dies knowing this.

Him being unlikable doesn’t make him a bad character. Him being unlikable is part of the character; and in a meaningful way.

God, I don’t know how to end this. I’ll probably come back and edit this many, many times.

I guess I’m just tired of people flattening characters just because they’re not particularly endearing.

[parkers-gal]

Reader meet Tom during a Meet and greet for the first time. She’s European (like Belgian perhaps. You can choose that) and she catches his attention. They start as close friends and whenever she gets to London, they meet up. After a while they start a relationship (can be long distance) and they just adore eachother a lot.

a good story

wc | 3k (SORRY i rly went off)

i chose france because i heard they have a bit more diversity...? i hope that makes it a bit more universal :) plsss i didn't proofread — hope u like it ! <3

—

You try to wipe the sweat off your hand for the fifth time in the last two minutes. Your pulse picks up while the line moves up again. You’ve been waiting for about an hour and a half, but you really don’t mind. Not when that mop of curls and pile of muscles is so close. Besides, you get to fangirl with the rest of the fans in line around you.

You’d been in deep conversation with a girl and her girlfriend for a good while until one of them went off to get coffee and the other asked to use the bathroom. The security guard assured them that they’d return to their exact position in line, ensuring they wouldn’t have to wait all over again. You missed them, though, because they weren’t back within seven minutes so you preoccupied yourself with the lanyard around your neck with your VIP Access pass attached to the end.

You play with the strings of the Spider-man hoodie; it’s the midtown hoodie that Peter Parker wears in the first movie. You wore it to be cute — and it is, especially with these jeans — but now you’re afraid you might die of heat exhaustion. As the security guards usher yet another fan through the curtains, your feet move forward a couple of feet until the movement stops and you’re stuck waiting again.

The girl and her girlfriend return not a minute later, one of them offering you a bite of their croissants from Starbucks. You ponder the offer before politely declining; you don’t want your breath to smell, or something to get stuck in your teeth. You know you’re overthinking this entire situation, but you can’t help but be nervous when you’re about to meet the one person you’ve spent so much of your time gawking over — and through a screen, at that. It’s pathetic, you admit, but you can’t help it. There’s just something about him.

Another fan goes through the curtains and suddenly you’re less than five turns away from meeting the beloved Brit. You can’t help but feel a little more connected to him, knowing that you’d flown all the way from Paris, France for this London Meet-and-Greet. It’s a wonder how you got your schedule to work so well.

You move forward another spot, tapping your index and middle fingers on your hip while tracing the lines of the tiled floor. You try to distract yourself — counting every prime number you can think of, naming all the superheroes in the Marvel Franchise — until you’re one spot away from going through the black curtains.

“You’ll be in in less than three minutes,” the girl smiles while informing you of the estimated time frame. You thank her, taking note of the tag attached to her uniform.

You take a deep breath, shaking away all nerves and last jitters before wiping your hands one last fateful time. And then all at once, the curtain opens and allows you to step through and into the room where a young actor awaits your arrival. It’s so surreal that you have to watch your feet to ensure they don’t trip and cause you to stumble.

“Hello, love. How’re you?”

Your breath hitches and when he finally takes a good look at you, his breath does too. Your eyes lock for a beat, the two of you lost in a trance before you finally spit out a response.

“I’m… really good. How’re you?”

He smiles, eyes crinkling and face lifting up. “I’m great, thank you.”

You nod, the tip of your tongue playing with your front tooth. You shake out of it, though, setting your bag and your lanyard down on the provided table before stepping a little closer to him.

“Ah, the Midtown hoodie,” He points out, holding your wrists out so he can examine the sweatshirt himself.

“Yeah,” you smile bashfully. “It’s… stylish.”

He laughs wholeheartedly, something that eats away at your shell and causes you to join his chuckling.

“What’s your name, darling?”

You bite your lip, inhaling sharply at the term of endearment. “Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tom,” he offers a hand, something that makes your face scrunch up with a laugh.

“Can we hug instead?”

“Please?” He insists, realizing how embarrassing his last move was. The two of you embrace strongly, and you inhale the scent of Tom Holland while you can.

When you separate, you grow a little more courage, and pick up the conversation. “I loved you in The Impossibly. Obviously in the Spider-man movies, too, but your other movies are really good, too.”

“Thank you, love. That means a lot,” he scratches his neck with a sheepish smile, a blush rising from his neck and onto his cheeks. He smiles, an action you mirror. “Is this your first Meet-and-Greet?”

You nod, “Yeah, I’m a bit nervous.”

He nods in understanding. “Are you from England?”

You shake your head, “I’m currently living in Paris.”

“Ah, the country of romance,” He looks as if he’s thinking of what to say next — as if he shouldn’t say it. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-one,” You smile again, and the glint in Tom’s eye changes just a shade, as if he’s just unlocked a new level. He looks excited for a different reason now.

“How long are you staying in England?”

“Till the end of the week,” You can’t help but feel giddy because it’s only Monday, which means you have until Saturday night to explore the great country of Britain, home to Tom Holland and Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch and basically every celebrity you’ve ever been a fan of. You can’t anticipate what Tom’s to say next, because you don’t want to turn your experience into a Wattpad story, but you hope he’s about to offer something in relation to sightseeing.

“Would you want to… could I show you around? Show you all the best places?” He looks shyer than you, almost, and you swallow your heart so you can answer calmly.

“You’d do that?’

“Of course,” He smiles softly. “You look like a lot of fun.”

You’re taken aback at the compliment, and you stumble out a reply as best you can. The two of you are reminded to take the picture so the line can move forward again, and you will yourself not to frown at the coming end of your encounter with the famous Brit.

“Could we do this?” You show him a picture from your phone and he nods excitedly.

The two of you link hands, standing close together while you smile into the camera. Your encounter comes to an end, and though you’re disappointed, Tom asks for your number, giving you his phone for the occasion. You’re giddy as you wave goodbye, leaving the tent with your picture and his lingering energy.

A day passes, giving you time to recover from your celebrity-interaction and time to get settled into your comforting hotel room on the seventh floor. You’re a bit wary that Tom won’t ever text you, and seeing as you don’t have his number, you realize you have to wait it out. You don’t want to risk waiting for the entirety of your stay here, though, so you grow worried. But alas, Tom texts late on Tuesday night, apologizing for the radio silence that came when he had to finish up the Meet-and-Greet event. You’re relieved, to say the least.

He exchanges details, telling you to meet him at a corner cafe at ten in the morning tomorrow. You comply, promising to get a good night’s rest before saying your goodnights and sleeping the hours away. You’re promptly awoke but your eight-thirty alarm. With a groan, you get up to shower, and the cold water wakes you right up.

An hour later and you’re ready for some quality, top-notch sightseeing. You grab what you need, locking your hotel room door before going down the elevator with a sweet elderly couple. You follow the map on your phone until you arrive at a small shop on the corner, just as Tom had said. You pull the door open, the smell of coffee beans entering your airways. You exhale the familiarity of it all, smiling to yourself before searching the shop. You spot Tom in a corner booth, and as you make your way over, he sets his phone face-down on the table with a smile, waving at you. You take a seat across from him.

“This place is cute.”

“Right? Best tea in London.”

Your stomach grumbles, loud enough for the both of you to hear and then share a laugh about. “I suppose I should eat breakfast.”

“I suppose I should join you,” he replies in the same tone, the two of you sharing tender smiles before someone comes over to take your order.

The conversation picks up and all tension and awkwardness wafts away in the air, leaving you in Tom’s comfortable aura. You talk until the check is paid, and as you step out on the crisp air of the city’s streets, you turn to Tom for the agenda.

The day goes on like that. The two of you go all around the city, visiting The British Museum, the Tower Bridge, Big Ben the clock tower, the Buckingham Palace, the Portobello Road Market, the National Gallery, and even the London eye. Tom knows everything like the back of his hand, and the ancient city makes you feel so significant. Your last stop is Cambridge University, something you’ve always wanted to see in person.

Tom’s been taking your picture all day. On polaroids, your iPhones, and even some of the tourist-profiting workers who beg for sales. He claims it’s so you can start scrapbooking, a conversation the two of you had covered during your many word exchanges.

The two of you have been all over the city since the end of breakfast at almost eleven o’clock. Now, it’s almost eight o’clock and you’re hungry as fuck. After some debate, the two of you decide to take a big red bus back to your hotel for some room service or hotel-restaurant food.

Tom sits in the seat beside you on the bus, the two of you up top and enjoying the city. You get lost in conversation again, the two of you going through today’s latest pictures and video-memories. You end up goofing off, so much so that you almost miss your stop.

The two of you stumble to the entrance of your hotel. Tom smiles, grabbing the door for you. You reply with a sheepish “thank you,” before waving hello to the front desk women.

��Do you want room service or do you want to dine in the restaurant?”

“Would you mind if I joined you for room service?”

You shake your head with a gentle smile, the two of you racing to the elevators. After hitting your floor number, the elevator goes up and the two of you talk again and again. Tom excuses himself to the bathroom when you get into your room; it gives you the opportunity to change out of your clothes and into a pair of sweats and a loose tank. Tom comes out ready for room service but is grown flustered at the sight of a different outfit on you.

“Getting comfortable?”

“Duh,” you lean back on the queen sized bed, back hitting the headboard. “Stay for a movie?”

He smiles, “Hand me the menu.”

He ends up staying until ten o’clock. You promise to go clubbing with him, for a full London experience, and the two of you schedule to do just that on Friday night. You book the entirety of Thursday to finish your sightseeing with him, and before you know it, you’re spending every day in London with Tom.

On your last day, Saturday, you eat breakfast with him at that first fateful cafe. He tells you he can’t take you to the airport — he’d probably get mobbed by fans — and you understand, promising to call him once you land. He promises to come with you to France one day, so the roles can reverse.

You finish your final cup of coffee just as Tom finishes his tea. He smiles sadly, one you mirror.

“I’ll see you soon, you know. And you can still drop me off at the airport.”

“I know,” he smiles sheepishly, hand reaching across the table for yours. “But I’ll miss sightseeing with you. I forget how amazing my own country is, sometimes.”

“Well,” you smile, “I’ll be back, so don’t worry too much, Tom. It’s not like I’m going across the world.”

“Yeah,” He chuckles, “And besides, I can come see you sometime.”

“Absolutely.”

“It’s just so weird to have friends in France and shit,” He chuckles, running a hand through his hair. “Like you live there and I can just go and visit you whenever.”

“I’m still a call away.”

“And thank god for that.”

You exhale after a beat of silence. “This is so fucking crazy.”

“What?”

“This. You, us hanging out. Just four days ago I was paying to see you, and now I’m having breakfast with you for the third time?”

“I promise, I’ll refund that Meet-and-Greet money.”

“Why?” You look at him quizzically and he bites his bottom lip.

“Well we’re friends, so you don’t really need to waste that money and I can get it back so-”

“Don’t,” you look up at him. “It makes for a good story.”

He nods, and after the two of you pay the check, you’re standing from the booth of the quaint little shop one final time, making your way to your door and settling in the passenger seat of Tom’s car. With your luggage in the backseat, he drives all the way to the airport, the loud sound of plane engines filling your ears. He drops you off at the terminal with a hug and a watery smile.

“See you soon!” He waves until you’re out of sight and the security guard is threatening to give him a ticket.

Half a year goes by, with quick three-day weekend trips back and forth, to London and to France even. You’ve seen Tom a total of seven times in the past six months, and you’ve grown closer than ever.

About a month goes by after your last trip, until your boss is telling you that you’re getting a week off for the upcoming paid break. You’ve already confirmed your flight and hotel plans to London, wanting to surprise Tom.

You decide to do it the night before you’re due on the airplane to the country of Brits.

You can’t help but grin at your phone, eventually laying down to sleep while you can before your early morning flight. Tom’s on your mind, in your future, and in your dreams. The last month of FaceTimes and text messages have been amazing, but unbearable because you miss his presence. The extreme amounts of flirting, however, have definitely picked up over text. Your week long trip to London marks the eighth time you’ve seen Tom since that first fateful Meet-and-Greet. You can’t help but feel like the dynamic is changing a bit, though. The two of you have upped the levels a bit, and now you’re more cuddly, more flirty, and definitely more interested.

When you land, you text Tom but frown when the usual immediate response doesn’t come. Moving past a crowd of waiting people, you head to baggage claim to get your luggage. After excruciatingly lifting it off of the conveyor belt, it lands with a thud on the ground and you start wheeling it towards the exit.

The building is extremely less crowded thanks to your early flight booking. When you look up, you see that familiar head of precious brown locks, and you squeal. Tom never leaves the car when picking you up or dropping you off at the airport, for fear of paparazzi and fans catching him. But this time, he’s out and in the building to come get you.

Abandoning your luggage, you drop your carry-on on the floor as you run over to him as fast as you can. He can sense you’re about to jump into his embrace, so he prepares for the bone-crushing hug.

Your arms go around his neck while his hands settle on your waist. He smiles, chin settled in the crook of your neck while he inhales the scent of you.

“Tommy, oh my god. I missed you so much.”

When you pull apart, you’re each a jumbled mess of excitement and tears, so much so that when Tom’s hands grip your face to pull you in to a passionate kiss, you’re immediately calmed. Though you’ve never kissed before, it feels so right.

Your lips chase after his, deepening it as your hands go to his hair and his to the small of your back. When you separate, your foreheads lean against each other while you pant.

“That’s new.”

“Sorry, I should’ve asked.”

You chuckle, “I would’ve said yes.”

He interlocks your fingers, smiling. “I missed you.”

“I missed you more.”

Suddenly, he’s reminded of the fact that the two of you are in public, and when he looks up, he sees a group of girls holding their phones up and capturing the moment he’s just shared with you. Quickly, he pulls you into his chest protectively, hiding your face in your neck.

“We need to hide or else they’re gonna know it’s m-”

“Don’t,” you settle him. “It makes for a good story.”

[omgrachwrites]

Our Souls Crave This Magic- Chapter Three

Pairing: Prince Caspian x Reader

Summary: All you want is a quiet year of university as you and your best friend, Edmund move to New York City. Though, that all changes when you meet the spoiled trust fund brat, Caspian. College au.

Warnings: fluff, slow burn romance, enemies to lovers

Words: 2463

Disclaimer: This gif doesn’t belong to me,all characters are 18+

A/N: Literally just realised how many side characters I’ll have to put in this bc Narnia characters don’t work hahaha! Also, I know that Caspian’s parents are dead, omg Nathaniel Parker is his dad but in this they’re alive and well! Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think, please let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

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Chapter Three - An Odd Companionship 

You were in heaven, or at least you were as close to heaven as you were ever likely to get as your eyes roamed over all the Halloween themed snacks. There were things that you’d hardly even heard of such as, pumpkin spiced m&ms and chocolate with candy corn in the middle. You loved Halloween, when you were in university in London; you loved to decorate your dorm room, even though 9 times out of 10 you’d be going out to a party. It seemed that Halloween was an even bigger thing over here in America so you knew that you had to decorate your loft apartment.

Glancing behind you, you laughed at the bored look on Edmund’s face; he looked over at you and scowled as he pulled a tongue at you. Lucy, on the other hand looked as excited as you felt, “ooh, marshmallow Oreos,” she grinned and her face lit up, “I should send some over to Susan,” she took a packet off the shelf and threw it into the cart.

Edmund groaned in frustration as he covered his eyes as he trailed behind, “I get why we’re decorating the loft, it’s a tradition and the both of you are obsessed. But, do we really need to buy all of the snacks?”

Ed wasn’t a fan of Halloween. Lucy gasped in horror as she placed her hand over her heart, she was so dramatic, “how can you even say that? These snacks trump the ones in England!” she scoffed at him before wandering down the aisle, intent on grabbing more snacks.

Ed carelessly flung an arm around your shoulders and you smiled up at him, resting your head on his shoulder. Then, your best friend dropped a major bombshell, “Caspian is coming over to help us decorate,” you groaned in frustration, receiving stares from strangers but you didn’t care.

You pinched your temples as annoyance shot through every inch of your body. It was the worst news that you’d heard all day, “jesus, Ed! Why does he have to come over?”

Ed smirked as he looked at you without sympathy, “I think that you’re forgetting, Y/N, just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean I can’t be his friend.”

“He called me a slut,” you pouted as you both caught up with Lucy, you were still sore about that fact.

Ed huffed out a deep laugh, “actually, he didn’t.”

“He didn’t have to, Ed! It was implied.”

Edmund rolled his eyes and lowered his voice so Lucy wouldn’t hear the conversation you were both having, “okay, maybe it was implied but trust me, he didn’t mean it. I think he feels awful about it actually.”

You scoffed as you looked away, wrapping your arms around yourself, he should feel bad, Ed stopped you by placing his hands on your shoulders, worry etched into every corner of his freckled face, “Y/N,” he sighed, biting his lip and you knew that he was trying to find the right words, “please don’t lie to yourself and don’t pretend that you liked Caspian before all that happened. Don’t bring what your dad did into this, Caspian is not the same.”

Edmund’s eyes were so intense and worried that you had to look away, all of the Pevensie siblings were there for you when your dad betrayed your family. And for that, you felt eternally grateful. But, you didn’t want to talk about your dad.

“I can see that you really care about Caspian but I just don’t share your judgement but I suppose for you, I can tolerate him,” you smiled, “even though he is the most insufferable person that I’ve ever met, I hope you know that I would never ask you to choose between Caspian and I,” you would never make your best friend do that.

Edmund laughed as he cupped your cheek, “well that’s a good thing because I really like Caspian,” he smiled when you frowned at him and tilted your head, “you’re my best friend, Y/N, if I had to choose between you and Caspian, I would always choose you.”

You laughed bashfully as you rubbed the back of your neck; you weren’t used to people putting you first. Before you burst into tears like a total loser, you pulled Ed into a hug, inhaling the fresh scent of his aftershave.

Later on that day, you and Lucy entertained yourselves by working your way through some of the Halloween chocolate as you decorated the loft. It had been a long time coming but New York was finally beginning to feel like home. Presumably, Edmund was off somewhere sulking, he wasn’t getting involved with the whole decorating thing but you wanted to go all out. You knew that you’d probably be working on Halloween, but the beauty of college parties was the fact that they seemed to go on all night.

As you were adding fake cobwebs to the corners of the kitchen, there came a quiet knock on the door. Your blood ran cold and you scowled to yourself when Ed answered the door and you heard Caspian’s soft melodic voice. Despite yourself, you peered over your shoulder to look at the handsome man as he grinned at Ed and ran his hands through his thick hair. You were surprised when you noticed that he was wearing a simple white shirt and jeans. You were almost fooled into believing that he was just like everyone else, but you knew the truth.

“Hi, Caspian,” Lucy shouted joyfully and you narrowed your eyes at her as she pulled him into a hug. What a traitor.

“Hey, Lucy,” you could hear the smile in Caspian’s voice and you rolled your eyes, “how are you?”

“I’m good thank you, I’m going to go and decorate the bedrooms, are you alright, Y/N?” you glanced back at Lucy who shot you a meaningful glance as she walked away.

Caspian bit his lip and looked at you from beneath his thick eyelashes, and you noticed that he had the decency to look guilty, “want any help, Y/N?” he muttered and you sighed, remembering the promise that you’d made to Ed.

“Sure, Caspian. You’re on skeleton duty,” you gestured to the plastic bones by the door, “don’t mess it up,” you teased.

Caspian smirked and you had to look away, he was so blindingly handsome in that moment, not that you’d ever admit it, “I’ll try not to.”

The both of you somehow managed to work in harmony for a little while until Caspian halted his movements and out of the corner of your eye, you saw him glance at you. You almost felt the burn of his eyes on your skin.

“Y/N,” he started and when you looked over at him you were surprised to see that his deep brown eyes were soft and a crease was forming in the middle of his forehead, “I owe you an apology; I didn’t mean what I implied the other week. I was in a bad mood, lack of sleep you know.”

You grimaced, it was your fault that he hadn’t got any sleep that night, “right,” you flushed as he walked behind you to grab some tape, the warm spicy scent of his aftershave washing over you, “I’m sorry about that.”

Caspian shrugged, “I think I was jealous too.”

His confession shocked you so much that you gasped and almost toppled off the chair that you were standing on. How was he jealous? “Jealous?” you squeaked.

Caspian’s eyes widened as he realised how it sounded and you  could tell that he was trying to backtrack, “I swear, not in the way you think, it’s just, it’s been a while,” he flushed and you found that it was pretty endearing.

A frown graced your features as surprise wracked through your body, you hated Caspian but you weren’t blind to his attractive looks and mild mannerisms. Most girls would fantasise about him, “seriously?” you raised an eyebrow, “no park avenue princesses’ have won you over?”

Caspian let out a deep laugh that would reduce most people to a puddle, “nope,” he smiled as he picked up a can of silly string, “although I’m flattered that you’re surprised, even if you don’t think much of me.”

Caspian’s voice was teasing but you still kind of felt guilty, if you were being truthful, it wasn’t all that personal because you hated everyone like him, it didn’t matter who they were. People who had too much money and not enough sense got on your nerves.

“Trust me, Caspian I have my reasons for not liking you.”

Caspian touched your elbow gently as he walked past you, “I wish you would tell me what they are, because I know that you’re hiding something, Y/N.”

You wouldn’t open yourself up to Caspian, no matter how many sweet smiles that he shot your way. There was no way that you were going to be allying with your enemy; Hell would have to freeze over first.

--------------------------------------

A couple of weeks later, Caspian was sitting in the living room of Edmund’s loft apartment with his text book open on the coffee table. The words in the text book in front of Caspian seemed to swim before his tired eyes, the young man groaned as he rubbed his hands over his face as his head began to throb. He glanced over at Edmund who was fast asleep with his cheek sticking to the paper of his essay with his mouth agape. Caspian chuckled and looked over at the clock; it was a little past 2 in the morning.

Caspian was glad that Ed had suggested that they studied at his apartment, Caspian had had a row with his housemates, they were some of his closest friends but lately, they were pissing him off. Caspian stretched his tired muscles, he needed to finish this essay but they had run out of coffee a little over an hour ago. He stood from the couch, fully intent on grabbing some more coffee when he saw that Y/N’s bedroom light was still on and the door was slightly ajar.

Biting his lip, Caspian decided to ask her if she wanted anything, he’d feel bad if he didn’t at least ask. He swallowed and peeked his head through her open door and he was awe struck with what he saw. Y/N had her back to him and she was painting a beautiful landscape of a castle in ruins, surrounded by mountains and an ocean. It was so hauntingly beautiful.

“Y/N?” he called out softly and she jumped as she was startled and she whipped around to look at him.

“Caspian?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you, I was going to go and grab some coffee, do you want anything?”

Her lips parted slightly, like she was surprised that he’d even ask, her eyes were downcast for a second as she fiddled with her fingers. Caspian had never seen such a look on her face before, it seemed that she was in fact, human, “would you mind it if I came with you?”

“Oh!” Caspian exclaimed, gobsmacked that she wanted to go with him but she looked a little upset, maybe she needed a break, “sure, Y/N. Of course.

Y/N smiled tightly at him as she grabbed her distressed leather jacket before following Caspian into the main part of the loft. As soon as she saw the state that Ed was in she giggled, shaking her head. Her laugh was a pretty sound when it wasn’t directed at Caspian’s expense, “someone couldn’t cut it, huh?”

Caspian laughed at the smirk on her pretty face as they walked out into the cold night together, it was an odd companionship, “did you need a break or something? That’s the only reason I can think of as to why you would actually spend time with me willingly,” he teased and Y/N laughed as she bumped her shoulder against his.

“I sure did need a break; my art assignment is really kicking my arse.”

Caspian bit his lip and decided to try his luck, “is that what you were painting. From where I was standing, it looked beautiful.”

Almost at once, Y/N tensed up and her face grew stoic which was a shame, “thank you but um, no that’s something else,” she ran a hand through her messy hair but she didn’t elaborate.

“What was it?” Caspian asked with interest, they were actually having an adult conversation and he didn’t want to stop now.

Y/N scoffed as she gave him the side eye, “nice try, keep dreaming, pretty boy.”

Caspian chuckled as he held up his hands in defence, “can’t blame a guy for trying.”

As they were walking down the dark high street, Caspian internally groaned they ran into a family friend who was leaving a bar, he was completely insufferable. Why the hell was he in a bar in Brooklyn? Michael smirked as he looked from Caspian to Y/N, if Y/N thought that Caspian was an arrogant trust fund baby then he was nothing compared to this guy.

“Hello, Caspian, you’re out late, it definitely looks like you’re slumming it but I never would have believed it,” his lip curled when he noticed Caspian’s NYU jumper and Caspian’s blood boiled in anger. Michael raised an eyebrow as he looked over at Y/N, “at least you’re slumming it with a pretty girl.”

Y/N let out an angry breath as she glared at Michael, “watch it, wanker.”

Michael grimaced, his blue eyes cold and lifeless, “interesting, a mouthy British girl,” he let out a nasty laugh as he patted Caspian’s shoulder. Caspian clenched his jaw, he so wanted to punch Michael in his smarmy face, “make sure you call your mom.”

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Caspian lowered his voice as Michael pushed past them.

She nodded but she looked angry, angrier than Caspian had ever seen here, “what an arsehole. How do you know him?” she gritted her teeth as she glared at Michael’s retreating back.

“Family friend unfortunately, I have to put up with him,” Caspian muttered, distracted when his phone vibrated in his pocket, he sighed in frustration when she saw it was a text from his mum. What the hell was she doing up at this time? Did she have eyes everywhere or something?

‘Just because you haven’t been in touch with me sweetie, doesn’t mean you can get out of the wedding at the end of November, I hope you haven’t forgotten. Evelyn says that she hasn’t heard from you in a while, sort it out, Caspian x’

Caspian scowled as he angrily shoved his phone back into his pocket, talking to Evelyn hadn’t been a part of the deal. Not yet anyway.

--------------------------------------

@smiithys @elayneblack @amelie-black​ @generalblizzarddreamer​ @blackbirddaredevil23​ @whiskeywinter89​ @graciehams​ 

[princessofprocrastination]

Not Even Real (Sapnap)

MASTERLIST 

pairing : sapnap x reader

summary : everyone shipped them even from the start, but what they don’t know is that it’s all just a one sided love, and none of the relationship was ever real. (ANGST)

they think we live in a movie, that our love was created from the start, that it was written down on a piece of paper, that this was meant to be, that we’re lucky. 

but they’re wrong. they don’t know how hurt you are. they don’t see how unhappy you are behind the four walls of your room, when you’re away from them. 

they don’t know how hard you try to stop yourself from spewing out the truth. the truth he doesn’t want to let out. the truth that it was all for show. 

it started friendly, meeting each other from the love of playing minecraft. you met clay or more known as dream, first. you two became close on social media as you watched one of his first videos on youtube. 

the friendship was smooth sailing, and you thought your life couldn’t get any better. you then met george, but never made it to meet since you lived all away at texas. 

not long after that, you three became super close friends with nick, sapnap, it seemed so perfect, he was your age and he lived in texas, too. 

then you met the rest, like darryl, who’s known as badboyhalo. the five of you were inseparable, constantly playing minecraft, trying out new codes for your respective channels. 

none of you had met officially, in real life but nick and you agreed to meet since you lived really close to each other, anyways. 

it started as a friendly little diner “date.” when you two met, it wasn’t awkward, not even a little. you two would not shut up about minecraft or any other new games for you to play. 

and since you two also already had respective face reveals, you sent the groupchat a selfie of you two, showing them that you two had met each other, even before everyone else did. 

the rest of you did eventually meet, specifically in brighton. you all flew to england to meet them, you and nick getting plane tickets together and meeting at the airport on the day of departure. 

of course, as of many public figures, you get shipped with many people. 

it started of with dream, then george, thne wilbur, at some point because people saw how close you all were. of course soon enough, you and nick were bound to be shipped too. 

it was all an opinion, none of the ships died down, yet the ships just kept coming. you never thought it was annoying until you realize you fell for the one and only texan. 

you didn’t fall easily. in fact, you had only been in one other relationship, which had ended really badly that once you left highschool, you didn’t want to be tied down anymore. 

nick and you just seemed to be grower closer and closer together, so close that people started speculating something. 

of course, as a normal person, you had imagined what it would be like to date him, what it would be like to not be friends with him, but more.

and as a normal girl, before you sleep, you’d hope that he was deep in love with you just as much. 

but that wasn’t the case. 

nick saw the rumours, the ship comments. he wasn’t particularly bothered by them. and as of any big group, containing a girl, the girl was bound to be shipped with everyone. 

the boys had a separate group chat on discord. some things, they just didn’t want you to know. 

in there, nick was teased a lot, being the only one that was your age. 

he didn’t know why he thought about it, but he did. he questioned himself what would it be like to date you. 

no, not for real. he just thought about what it was like to fake date you and act like you two were a couple in front of your friends and your supporters. 

when he had told you the idea, you were shocked. thank god he called you normally, not on facetime, or else you would’ve made it so obvious that you loved him. 

your heart was beating out out your chest when he proposed the idea of dating.

but your heart sunk down to your stomach the moment he said that he wanted to prank people by fake dating. 

you never thought he would be that person. the person to break your heart. he probably doesn’t know it was hurting you anyway. but still, it hurt like shit. 

you two agreed that none of the other boys should know about it, and to only tell that that you two realized you liked each other and decided to date. 

since then, it was never the same. 

there were some pros and cons. well, more cons than pros, in your opinion.

sure, you’d get to act like you actually a couple in front of the camera and your friends, but that just made you feel worst. 

everyday, you heart just gets heavier at the weight of the truth on your shoulders. 

nick and yourself booked tickets to fly to england the second time, meeting an extended version of the dream team. 

you were excited to meet tommy and tubbo, along with the rest, of course. 

since all of you decide that it would be better to rent out an airbnb, everyone was staying in one house. lucky for you, niki was also there, which meant that you weren’t going to be the only girl. 

that also meant that you didn’t need to bunk in with nick, instead, you had to room with niki, which you happily agreed to. 

walking out the arrival hall with nick was hard, you had to suck it up and act happy for the sack of pranking your friends. 

nick had no clue that his proposal had been eating you up. he noticed that you were off but he just though you were having a bad day. 

when you all met at the airbnb, everyone was so welcoming and they left you and nick for a while to rest after the flight. 

during dinner was when it all went down. the questions spewed out like water. it never stopped. you would answer them but you’d leave nick to answer most, seeing that he made this up anyway. 

the night was terrible for you. to show the rest that you two were actually dating, you had to sit close to each other throughout the entire trip. you’d have to cuddle during movie night, sit by each other whenever you ate meals, hold each others hands.

you’d have to act happy in front of them, for the sake of nick. never in a million years, you thought that you had to sacrifice your happiness for someone you love. 

when you two flew back to texas, you tried your best not to say anything. you didn’t want to snap at him for no reason. you weren’t angry at him, how could you. you were just upset at how he’s doing so well acting it out. 

you were upset seeing this because this meant he didn’t even like you, yet love you. 

everyday, your mental health became worst. you couldn’t believe you’re even getting up to stream anymore. 

multiple times, you’ve asked yourself “why am i doing this? what was the point? what would be the consequence of just saying you didn’t want to do this anymore?” 

you knew once you said you wanted to leave this fake relationship that it would mean you’ll lose your friends, your only friends. 

as days go by, you didn’t even feel like picking up your phone anymore. you didn’t want to see the cute photos your friends took of you and nick. to which nick had told you to put as your wallpaper in order to make it more believable.

 the fans that saw your wallpaper on tommy’s vlog went crazy. they had see nick’s, too. a photo of you smiling. everyone thought it was adorable. and so did you, but you were more hurt than happy. 

you didn’t want to this anymore. you hated lying. to your fans, your friends. you hated how the truth weigh you down. you needed to tell someone.

since you and clay had been friends for so long, you knew that if you were to tell someone, that it would be him. 

so you called him that day. more specifically, you facetimed him. 

“hello?” he greeted me, but was confused on why i was calling him. 

“i just need to tell you something, and you can’t tell anyone else for my sake.” you told him, starting to cry.

“oh my god, you’re crying.” he looked concern. 

you poured everything out that day. every single detail you could spew out, you did. 

the weight on your shoulder lessened, but not enough. you needed to get away from all the chaos. 

clay was surprised. he never thought that the relationship would be fake. he thought you two are fated together. 

maybe it was just the acting. clay was surprised when you cried on facetime. 

this meant that it was very serious. he told you that he would be there for you throughout this thing, and that you’ll figure it out soon. 

during minecraft manhunt, while george was afk and you all weren’t recording anymore, clay asked nick about you. 

“she’s amazing man, i see her everyday.” he says. clay can sense the smile as he says that. 

damn, he was a good actor. you and nick hadn’t met since coming home from brighton, and clay knew that. 

you called clay everyday since then, always updating him about things that are going on. 

to clay’s surprise, nick hadn’t even checked in on her since they arrived back in texas. 

sure, nick is clay’s bestfriend but this was unacceptable. clay cared about you so much. he hated to see you this broken. not when the texan boy had no clue that this was his doing. 

you didn’t get any better. worse, actually. 

clay was nervous. he was so worried. worried that you’d do something you regret. something you can’t take back. clay wished he could time travel and make it better from the start. 

you hadn’t streamed in so long. your excuse was that you had been sick. acceptable excuse. but not to clay, no. 

he needed to act fast before you do something drastic. 

the fans who were worried about you constantly asked nick about you. 

“she’s fine, just feeling under the weather.” he’d say. 

the more you stayed in texas, the more pain it brought you. you needed to leave. 

you were in too deep in the nest of feelings you made in your brain. you made it so you could forget nick. but every time you open your social media, there would always be questions about nick and you. 

you were sick of it, the constant pain in your chest that never rests. the tweets that you would see about your disappearance. 

you knew people were worried about you. but to you, the only one you cared to be worried about you was nick. and so far, he didn’t give two fucks about your whereabouts. 

that sucked. but you needed to let go. 

when you told clay this, he welcomed you to stay with him with open arms. so you got right into work and packed all your stuff to permanently live with him. 

nick. he didn’t know what he has doing. he didn’t understand why he didn’t just pick u his phone and send you a text, to make sure you were okay. he didn’t know all this was his fault. 

it sounded selfish, but he enjoyed the attention when he announced that you and him are dating. 

he never really sat down to think about you. to him, it was like a contract. 

platonic contract for content. for views. like a script. 

the day you were leaving for florida, he sat down on his bed just thinking about you. he couldn’t understand why he was, but he did. 

he thought about how weird this was. script or not, this seemed wrong. very wrong. he never thought about your feelings. he never prioritized your feelings or you in general. 

he felt bad. now that he thought about it, he hadn’t spoken to you since you came back from england. 

he picked up his phone to call you, to ask if you were okay. it didn’t go through. 

weird. 

then he thought about the time chat kept on asking him about you, asking him to go to her house and check on you. he always told his fans that you were okay and that he had already gone to check on you. 

but that was far from the truth. but no one knew that. 

he didn’t know that the reason why his call didn’t go through was because you were on a plane, leaving texas, leaving him. 

he sent you a text so that you could get back to you later. 

he didn’t know that you were writing a paragraph on your notes app. a paragraph to apologize to your fans. to nick’s fans. for lying to them all this while. 

you held in your tears as you sat in the plane to florida for 2 and a half hours. although you were sad to leave one of the people you love the most,  but you knew that to keep your mental health stable, you needed to leave him behind. 

you bought wifi on the plane so that you could text clay and the rest of the boys, plus niki. you couldn’t leave them hanging, there were the people who stayed with you through everything, the good and the bad. 

you texted them on discord and posted the note paragraph you saved and screenshotted. 

you let out a breath of relief once you posted and texted your friends. finally, the heavy weight is off your shoulders. 

you saw a text from nick. you knew you had to restrain yourself. you couldn’t go back to him. it would hurt you even more, even if he didn’t know it hurt you. 

you texted clay once you landed, making sure he knew which part of the arrival hall you’d be at. 

you walked out as the automatic glass doors open, seeing clay sitting on one of the benches. you smiled at him as he notices your arrival, pushing your trolley full of multiple bags you brought. 

clay ran up to you to give you a hug as you got closer. he hugged you tightly, to show you that he is here for you, always. 

“i am so proud of you. for being brave enough to leave your comfort zone, for willing to start fresh.” he whispers in your ear, still hugging you. 

you almost teared up. “come on, let’s go home.” he pushes your trolley, leading you to his car.

you were drained when you came back to clay’s house, now yours too. emotionally, and physically drained. 

although that wasn’t a long plane ride, the sleepless nights are finally catching up to you. 

you opened instagram, remembering the screenshot you posted a while ago on the plane. your phone almost glitched at the amount of people tagging you or commenting on your photos. some even dming you. 

you were overwhelmed with the amount of support your fans brought to you. they told you to take a break, to slowly settle in florida with clay, away from the public eye. 

you also read all your friends’ texts. they were fully supportive of your decision. although it sounded easy, they said they were proud of you for even thinking about leaving your hometown, let alone actually doing it. 

you even opened the texts from nick. it went from “hey, are you getting better?” to “what’s with your post on instagram”

you thought about texting him, to get a full closure. some people needed that. and him being one of your bestfriends, you cared about him immensely. 

the most recent text he sent, said “i understand why you did it, i’m sorry i acted like i didn’t care. i hope you know that i’ll be here for you, whenever you’re ready to talk to me again. please take care of yourself. i love you so much.” 

your heart skipped a beat when you read his text, especially when he said “i love you”. you had to tell yourself that he didn’t mean it that way, that he meant to say he loved you as a friend, not a lover. 

you looked back at the screenshot you posted, rereading it. 

it read. “hi guys. it’s been a while, and i’ve been aware. i’m not one to lie, and i feel immensely guilty for keeping you guys in the dark for this long. first of all, i haven’t been sick lately, not a normal flu, that’s for sure. my mental health has been on the all time low. this had been the lowest i have ever been in years since i became a public figure. secondly, i haven’t been fully truthful to you guys about my relationship. i would just like to say that nick is an amazing person. he has never hurt me, not intentionally. him and i decided that it would be a great idea to fake a relationship between the two of us. this was no one’s fault but my own, for agreeing to it. i have loved nick even from the start, till now. and although i knew that i had feelings for him, i still agreed. and that is no one’s fault but my own.” 

you scrolled down more to read the next half. “i had to live with a heavy weight on my shoulder for a couple months, thus me making this. you guys have been super supportive through thick and thin, so i felt guilty for lying to you for this long. and to clear things up, this does not mean i am leaving the dream team. in fact, i am moving in with dream! i hope you guys understand to what extent this has gone to and why i disappeared fr so long without explanation. i love you guys, forever and always. thank you for staying with me this long, i hope you stay. see you soon!” it finishes. 

you teared reading it all over again. you knew this was a bad idea, to read it again. 

been only a day but you really miss sapnap. it’s not easy to drop every thing in texas to move away from somewhere that you’ve called home. but this is your new home now. 

-

SAPNAP’S POV

i knew i should’ve texted her earlier, to check on her, to make sure she’s okay. 

i knew there was something wrong, i called it. but because of my stupidity, i wasted her love for me. 

and for what? content? it wasn’t worth it. 

now i’ve lost her. potentially forever. i don’t know how to get her back. not after what i did to her. not after what my ignorance did to her. 

i needed to get her back but i knew that this break waws good for her, this move was good for her. she deserved the break she has now. and i won’t talk to her until she’s ready to talk to me. 

i’ll be waiting, till she comes. 

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Pooh Bear

Masterlist

Kal has a crush on his new babysitter and after watching her closely Henry has to now all he has to do is ask her out...Simple right?

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Slight Angst

Request: That’s so great! I was thinking maybe one where introvert chubby reader looks after Kal on set, when Henry’s filming. She and Kal become great friends, are always together, they cuddle, play, and nap together, etc. Henry might’ve secretly snapped a few pics of them. He’s happy that there’s someone else taking good care of his bestie.  Kal loves Henry but misses the reader when they’re back home. When they return to set, he expects her to be there for Kal but turns out she’s not working out there anymore. They thought her to be redundant and too much of a loner. This affects her because she always feels more happy around animals as she always wanted a dog but never really could afford it. Sorry for the stupidly long request…              

A/N: okay I did switch things up a little but i hope you still like it! And just so people know in england (or at least the south) 'A Salt' is another ways of saying someone is fit...basically saying he is a tasty looking man that you'd lick. And a 'nonce' is another term for idiot. Taglist: @being-worthy​ @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @thatgirly81​ @angelofthorrr @iloveyouyen​ @sofiebstar​ @thefangirlsblog​ @thatdamncutegirl

You smiled as your charge ran around happily with the kong toy pouncing and shaking his head the rubber dome slipped from his mouth and bounced unpredictably across the floor. It was a kong original that was a rubber 'bee hive' shape hollow and stuffed  full of one of those ham and cheese sandwich paste. He seemed to love it as he darted around happily pinning it every now and then trying to fish out the treat. You loved this job! It was incredible you literally got paid to snuggle walk play and snuggle with the sweetest dog you have ever met in your life...His owner wasn't to bad either...well now at least. You sighed crossing your ankles and fanned yourself at the thought of the bears dad...A bear of a man himself, or wolf should you say. Was stunning he was a salt... Definitely a salt. You watched again as Kal frantically chased the kong as it rolled out of his paws. You were the proud baby sitter of Kal Cavill probably the sweetest Akita anyone would ever find. Currently on set watching the pup bounce about trying to paw at the pesky kong flipping and rolling away threw the scatty motions. "Wow Kal-ee-bear that's some shit paw eye coordination baby boy..." you giggled as he snorted still patting at the rubber and moved laying down against your legs stuffing his snout at the wide opening still trying to devour the snack of cheese spread. you tried giving him snack enrichment each day to calm him down before delivering him back to his dad. "Oh I'm sooo sorry your majesty~" you jumped as Henry came up behind you. "And what has his royal highness up to today I wonder?" He crossed his arms across his chest. you flushed flinching and clamming up at him as he stood to the side of you both with a grin. You waved to Kal who was gruffing at the kong growing more irritated when he had to work for his treat. "He er.. Is huffy over the kong....He couldn’t catch it and now he has, he has to work for his cheese" Henry laughed out loud at that plopping down beside you. You flushed, you admit at first things had been rocky between you and Henry. But now he seemed to hover a lot more he wont just come and whisk Kal away at the end of his scenes he'd stay and try to chat...He for some reason wanted to get to know you. You'd been confused unsure what to make of the hunk trying to get to know you. You’d been frightened and withdrawn but he didn’t give up he spent a lot of time just sitting with you talking about his day. He didn't seem to mind you were quiet in fact he seemed to like having someone to listen to him. You sighed wistfully realizing you'd let your shyness let this chance pass you by. You'd had so many chances to talk to him properly to admit your feelings to him but you hadn't your shy personality pulled you back. Today was your final day here sitting with Kal and you were devastated you'd come to have feelings for the big bear...and his owner more then you should have...More than you cared to admit. It was silly but you'd harbored a crush on the man and for a few months and had been debating on how to show but it was hard for someone like you...To introverted for your own good...Not that you'd ever be able to open up much to people. Animals on the other hand were completely different ,you preferred animals to people and you think Henry could tell but he was stubborn ,but then he had been stubborn since day one.

When you'd first met he was worried you didn't have the strength to look after or control such a big dog...Kal was small for an Akita but he was by no means weak, he has had Henry over a few times in the past which is not to be laughed at. You remembered it well the first time he saw you he'd be the first to admit he was a bit of an ass...Well he was a complete asshole to be honest. Your mind wandered to your first ever conversation with the man.

"So did you realize he's an Akita? He needs a lot of exercise and attention...I need someone who can keep up with him and handle him when in a boisterous mood...not someone he can run rings around and overpower" you squinted at him and grunted he seemed put out and very full of himself; something he’d later regret. You'd took a deep breath and smiled trying your best not to snap or cower...His scowl was intimidating. "Yes I do...Look if I can help calm down a scared shire and pull it to a halt, and hold still a bull by its horns for tagging I think I can handle a little Akita" he had grunted at you in disbelief crossing his arms and scoffed at you. "Oh really? You did all that?" You growled at him getting a bee in your bonnet his attitude was getting right up your nose now you didn't want to anger him but at the same time you needed this job it'd pay for your van and get you up and running. "I was training to be a country vet so yes I did all that anything else Mr Cavill? A resume? Certificates I have them with me..I even know canine cpr and how to remove ticks if you wanted to Know that to" he huffed and turned to the others present.

"Fine she will do but one incident and she's not watching him that’s final I don't let just anyone look after him" you smiled confidently but inside you were bricking it hoping you didn't come across as a nasty person you wasn't...You were just in a tricky spot and you needed money...You loved dogs they were going to be your new career so this was a perfect fit for you...No customers or people just you babysitting a big ass fluffy bear. That had been the only time you'd really clapped back at him and you were proud it was rare for you to stand up for yourself.

He'd gotten copies of all your documents you'd shown to prove you were capable...when he said he wouldn't trust just anyone with his four legged son, he meant it and you understood. You'd be the same with you own puppy, as much as you wanted one of your own finances were tight and once your business was open you wouldn't have much time spare for a pup of your own. Some of the others had rolled their eyes when they saw Henry hovering like a mother hen over you and Kal for the first week. They had complained to one another expressing that Kal was just a dog he would be fine. They just didn't understand. But as it turns out you had somehow passed his requirements and he had backed off trusting you to look after his son. You gathered that he checked you out fully and realized you had done all that you said, pulled out of veterinary school deciding the larger animals wasn't for you and were now focusing on grooming. And he had but that wasn't the whole reason he had been spying on you and Kal even when you didn't realize it.

It had started when he came to apologize. You'd never know but he felt like a dick and had come to apologize for his attitude but instead found himself floored watching from a short distance you were cuddling Kal smoothing his fur raking your fingers through it giggling and kissing him every so often pulling clumps of shedding fur out of him. "Oh my! baby boy look at all this? you'll be a stone lighter once all this is out talk about a crash diet....Wish I could drop a few dress sizes just by brushing my hair" that comment had hit Henry's chest with a dull cold thud. You were beautiful why would you say that about yourself? sure you were thicker...but thicker was better in his opinion he loved curves the idea of luscious soft curves filling his palms mad him swoon! He watched as you giggled wrestling Kal to his other side before repeating. He was surprised at how much he liked watching you play with him it was nice seeing Kal so relaxed and coddled. Henry sometimes felt guilty bringing Kal on set he couldn't give him much attention when he was working so that was where dog sitters come in someone o watch him and keep Kal occupied when Henry was working. "You'll feel so much better after this...I will bring my brushes out tomorrow and give you a good tidy up! you must be so hot love..." Henry laughed as the calm didn't last long at the word brush Kal got up excitedly pouncing and licking your face. You giggled loudly as he pushed you back standing over you yipping but you didn't throw him off instead wrapping your arms around him and rolled taking the Akita clean of his feet pinning the large dog to the floor and attacking him with tummy scratches and raspberries. Henry's heart melted it was nice to see someone playing with him properly no holds bar! rough housing with an Akita was no mean feet but you managed. It was then he leaned back watching you a small smile on his lips you took your job seriously and Henry was seeing a different side to you. He had definitely misjudged you he felt even more of an asshole now.

The final hurdle you jumped was when he saw Kal mouthing at your forearm playfully keeping the arm snug between his jaws and pulling trying to tug you back down as you tried to get up. Henry panicked heart stopping for a second as you hissed a little, people can perceive mouthing as biting. Before Henry could even think he moved a few steps forward readying to charge down and explain the behavior and pray you didn't take the incident further. But before he could take another step you had taken care of it and you didn't freak out like others would have in the jaws of a large dog. You simply calmed the situation down nicely and carefully with ear rubs making Kal release you and tilt his head trying to make you rub harder onto the ear. "You got such a big mouth Kal my love! mouthing like that huh? Just one overgrown puppy~" you finished by laughing and settling down onto the ground with him.Then pulled Kal to face you kissing his snout making him go all soppy again. Henry watched dumbstruck as you peeled back his lip and shook your head. "Lets had a look at your nashers...Oh? Whats this Pooh bear? look at those teeth! And they call your daddy a wolf huh? And your not brushing them are you my little fluff ball? hmm? well we will start that tomorrow~ oh yesh we will!...You like the sound of that huh? brush these pearly whites and make your breath smell all fresh! all it'll cost you is more kisses!! yesh it will baby boy! good bear such a good pooh bear!" Henry smoothed back the wig he was wearing heaving a deep sigh relaxing with a chuckle. Yeah that hadn't put you off at all now his dog had a fucking dentist to. Henry took a moment to calm down as he realized you'd known what you were doing. The fear for all dog owners was someone saying they were bit! but in that moment he was reassured you knew a lot more about dogs then your papers said ,you handled it very well. Kal had a habit of mouthing he always had since a puppy, sometimes he even falls asleep with one of Henry's hands in his mouth just holding it sometimes suckling like a tiny pup again...It was rare now but it happened almost using his hand or fingers like a like a toddler with a soother. But when he was excited he would mouth a little harder it was pack behavior but to anyone who didn't know they called it a bite. Kal seemed to like you and you handled him beautifully.

After that Henry had meant to back off but...He couldn't seeing how you'd got Kal wrapped around your little finger had intrigued him...He was a strong believer in dogs having that sixth sense for people they could sniff out the bad ones. Kal had fallen head over paws for you and each morning got in a little tizzy waiting for you to come pick him up prancing at the door as you got closer. Henry loved how much pride you took in looking after kal and how far you went you'd all but adopted the bear. Fuck you were only supposed to walk him and play with him a few hours a day but you groomed him, brushed his fur and teeth daily even clipped his claws and filed them you pampered the dog with massages after his runs new toys and enrichment treats then had long ass naps wrapped around him. You were a nanny, packmate, cook, dentist stylist, nail technician massuse and all round mother to Kal and the bear loved it lapping up the attention and what Henry believed to be genuine love. 

He still watched but now for a different reason he wasn't worried about kal...He watched you, it had only taken him three weeks to become completely besotted with you he wanted to spend as much time with you as he could. He loved everything about you, the way your laugh made kal go crazy and lather you with kisses how you'd roll around with him no qualms about getting dusty and smothered with fur and the way you played and snuggled kal like he was your own pup kissing him and giving him the love he needed. If he was honest he adored the way you'd gone about it. Most dog sitters just sat on their phones with kal on the lead beside them and walked him when once a day. You mothered him and spoiled him rotten. And Henry loved and loathed it...Why were you so comfortable with kal and not him? Sire hed been an ass at the start but you were all past that now...Henry wanted some of you attention now but you withdrew when he was there. It was maddening.

It was a week after he had seen you deal with Kals mouthing that you'd approached him he almost expected the worse thinking you were going to quit saying kal was to much but instead you'd asked if kal was allergic to anything. Henry to be honest was stumped, he'd never though of kal having allergies. He was concerned and began running all the worst scenarios in his head of what you'd noticed or what had happened. But you had shyly calmed him down saying you wanted to get Kal some treats and chews but didn't want to cause any medical issues. Henry can honestly say his heart had swelled at that. Henry in that moment had developed a full blown crush on you. He was floored that you'd take his bears welfare so seriously that you'd asked permission to give him treats. He had stuttered out that you could give him what ever that he didn't have any allergies and you'd grinned wide then began gushing over these strange yak milk chews you wanted to get him and a deer antler? Henry just smiled laughing as you forgot who and where you was getting yourself excited.

"Oh my god this is gonna be fun! I've never been able to get this stuff I don't have a dog but now with kal I can spoil him rotten thank you Henry!" And with that said nearly every day his boy came home with a new toy or treat. Henry found it cute especially when you'd given him a little yellow squeaky teddy, Henry didn't think it would last two mineuts normally kal ripped soft teddies to shreds but this one...For some reason wasn't chewed ever not even the eyes ,sure Kal would bite it on the squeaker normally early in the mornings to wake Henry up but it was a teddy he just carried around with him and slept on. He couldn't sleep with out it tucked under his chin!

As time went on you found yourself having small awkward conversations with Henry he seemed to just want you to open up, to talk to him and get along. You wanted to but it was hard for you he was this huge hot alpha witcher male and you were a small dumpy thing. You didn't want to get attached to him, didn't want your crush to get out of hand when you knew there was no chance...He'd never go for someone like you slowly your thought began getting darker and more upsetting luckily they disappeared when kal nudged you almost knocking you over as you retied your laces he was waiting for you to hurry up it was time for his daily walk/run. You soon found yourself jog running along the trail with kal as he created wanting to go faster you panted and grunted at him waving your arms around as he pulled nearly having you off your feet. "Kal! I can't go faster!!! I'm fat haven't you noticed?! fucking lard asses can't got faster we have like three gears!" he barked at you as if to argue you scoffed. "Yes I know your daddy goes faster but I cant!" again he barked and yipped at you eager to go sprinting "No! absolutely not! I'm not letting you off again...Remember the squirrel? You promised to come back young man! and you lied I nearly had a fucking heart attack!" he yipped again tapping the floor prancing a typical kal tantrum brewing. "Nu uh! you did this if you'd behaved and not ran off like a race horse then you'd be let off and be frolicking in the woods like a pooh bear! But no you were a nonce!" he stamped again and moved capturing the lead in his mouth and pulled starting a game of tug making you swear and quickly hold it with two hands and lean back as he started bouncing back growling playfully. "Kal you little shit stop! no no don't-KAL?!" you growled and dug your heels in pulling back as he growled now wagging his tail at the new game of tug. "Kal Cavill you stop being a little brat this instant! I mean it or no peanut butter!...Yes that got you attention didn't it?....Good boy, right now thanks to you little paddy we are going back now see? You play up and we go home....Just you wait until I tell your daddy how spoiled your acting." he whined and flopped down you dropped your jaw at him scratching your head. "Wait what? kal no stop it-really? your really are a sulky little shit sometimes pooh bear....Kal come on up" you moved pulling the lead but he didn't budge you cried out in frustration. Kal just smiled panting at you making you laugh despite your annoyance. "How can I not move you?! putting my weight in it you should at least budge! I how're you doing this?...." you moved and sat beside him and curled over him trying to pick him up but nope he was not going anywhere. you sighed and sat next to him out of breath. "Kal come on mate! cut me some slack...I'm not fit like your daddy and if you wont listen to your recall then I can't let you off..." you moved a hand digging your fingers int the fur massaging him then leaned down kissing his snout he moved sitting up seeing you were upset. "You know I wish I was...Fitter then maybe he'd look at me or-or I'd have the confidence to talk to him back but..Yeah men like him don't like us plus sizes...Oh don't look at me like that kal there's no hiding the fact I'm a fucking chunk!...No matter how much I like him it'd never happen..." you stood up and kal followed licking at your fingers by your side you smiled patting his head. "Lets get back...And I lied you can have your peanut butter I'm sorry I said you couldn't it was mean...But only if you keep that little crush thing quiet okay? Good boy!, you keep that secret for me bubby" he jumped up happily you had no doubt this dog understood every single word you said to him.

Henry had made it his mission to get one date by the end of filming...If only he wasn't this shy every time he tried you'd flush blinking up at him and he'd freeze forgetting his previous thoughts and just star mind going blank. And like a coward he'd stutter out a thank you for seeing to kal and run off tail between his legs. One time; the seventh time...But he wasn't counting, he came over psyching himself up. 'Just one date just say hey your good with kal and I think your really cute and want to take you out...Or just a basic lets have dinner' he nodded to himself and smiled fisting his hands by his side and took a few deep breaths steeling himself as he made his way to a small shaded area just off set and frowned...What was? was Kal laying on you?....He was! Henry snuck up behind you hearing the bear snort in his sleep and slowly stretch out one front leg across you before sighing loudly and relaxing again. You were laying flat on your back in the grass. from what Henry could tell Kal at one point had been next to you but had rolled over in his sleep tummy flat against your side head laying heavy on your soft tummy one paw stretched out over your waist, his back legs straddling your hip from the side.  Your hand was tucked in his mouth you were both sound asleep. Kal was hugging you and Henry couldn't help feeling a little jealous he wanted to do that...He wanted to hug you...He was being out done by his own dog...Henry smiled and took in the sight. He wanted to see this more often he really needed to ask you out ...He needed to get his ass in gear time was ticking. He moved quickly looking left and right before subtly snapping a few shots you'd be none the wiser to him having a new background on his phone. He quickly tucked his phone away and sat beside you leaning back on his hands and just admired the sight drawing his eyes over your form and flushed a bright red noting your top had rose resting just below your bust... kal had somehow nudged it up, Henry had to chuckle at the thought his pup was really putting the moves on you. If only Henry could be that brave. You moved groaning blinking you were hot...So hot what the fuck? had you fell asleep? Shit. You frowned feeling a weight on your tummy you flexed your fingers they were? What the fuck why are they warm....And wet your stomach was damp to....Eww!? What the hell- your being fucking finger sucked!?! confused you gasped and jolted tipping your head up. Fully alert and blinked a few times looking around then focused looking down and giggled. Kal was dead asleep passed out on your tummy somehow he had sucked your hand into his mouth and was trying to suckle on it like a tiny puppy. You smiled and sighed relieved that it was just a silly pooh bear and not some scary ass fuck tard moving your other hand up to stroke the sleeping pups head giggling when he twitched and snorted like a piggy and kicked a back leg out. "Oh my god that's so cute~" you jumped hearing a deep chuckle beside you and saw Henry sitting watching. Instantly you froze unsure what to do or say flushing and gulping trying to remain calm, sensing your discomfort he smiled kindly then nodded to kal. "Done it since he was a pup...Like a proper baby only ever done it with me before though think you may have become his new favorite human~" you flushed lightly and tried wriggling out from under Kal but stopped when he groaned and clamped down on the fingers in his mouth. You chuckled you were not moving anytime soon bot with out upsetting the bear, you shrugged to Henry who laughed quietly again shaking his head.

"I'm afraid you are now trapped here with me until the bear decides to let go~" you blinked flushing even more as his gaze bore into you. You looked back wanting to at least sit up a bit Henry was quick to intervene and shuffled closer sitting side on crossed legged and slipped the elevated knee below our head you flushed when he cleared his throat and his cheeks became pink.

"I...Err your-Its my dogs fault and I..." you blinked slowly and lowered your head to rest on the knee your. He smirked at you feeling proud f himself being able to pull this off somehow.

"I-I Henry if I get to heavy just say...Don't want to give you a dead leg or something...." he frowned a dark look his eyes going dark making you quiver slightly your insecurity rearing its ugly head a small voice telling you your crushing him. He placed a hand to your shoulder. "Your not heavy Honestly I don't even feel you there...It'd take around six of you before I'd even feel anything!" You flushed brightly but said nothing, he must just be saying that he was polite...To polite to tell you your fat. After a few minuets of silence and Henry berating himself he cleared his throat and motioned to Kal still snoring away, his voice lowering making your insides quiver. "Stolen my own pup I knew you'd be trouble~" you swallowed and smiled shyly up at him shaking your head at him with an impish grin. "N-no...He just likes me I think....He is a good boy you should be really proud of him the best boy I have ever looked after" Henry nodded thanking you then looked down at Kal still happily snoring. "And you the best babysitter he has had~ hands down I'm really impressed...I was wrong I never did apologize for being such an asshole when we met" You were all about loosing your mind trapped here under kal ,who would throw a fit if you moved him. "No no..I understand he is your special boy and a energetic little man I can understand the concern someone large and unfit showing up" he grunted and frowned moving the hair from your face making you squeak.

"Stop that! Your a beautiful full figured woman there's nothing wrong with that!.... and for the record it wasn't that at all that made me worry...Your small and I was afraid Kal would have you over and break a bone or something...Kal has he me over many times in the past....Either way I was wrong my worry is no excuse to be rude and I'm sorry" You flushed as Henry slowly eyed your form as he spoke, his blues glittering with something you'd never seen directed at you before but it was gone before you could decipher it. He watched unblinkingly at you finally you smiled and nodded to him breathing out a quick thank you, he grinned and moved a hand stroking kal patting his side softly. "But as for this boy goes I think he more then likes you...He has taken a shine to you...Think he has a crush~ not that I blame him as I said your a very lovely woman" you blinked smiling wider and somehow going a brighter red managed to slip your hand out of the bears jaws and wiped it on your tshirt using the moment to tug it back down. "You-you don't mean that I'm...Just ...Yeah" Henry frowned at you not liking the tone you used to speak about yourself. He went to argue further but grunted a little annoyed as Kal choose that moment to stir making you look away. You watched thankful for the bear giggling softly as the dog moved up off you stretching and yawning then blinked at his dad as if you say 'what?' you moved and kissed his head softly "Come on sleeping beauty time to go home I'm sure you can nap with your daddy when you get back" Henry chuckled as Kal huffed getting up and standing beside him. Henry wanted to linger, to ask you out to do something but any courage he had was gone the moment he had you laid in his lap...It was like a kid wanting something for so long and once he had it he didn't know what to do with it. He moved standing and held out his hand to help you up you froze  and gulped smiling nervously, as strong as he might be you'd have him over and it'd embarrass you to much. Last thing you wanted your crush to know is just how fucking heavy you were. But the man didn't give you much choice as he snatched your hand dragging you up and you were amazed he didn't even lean back or grunt nothing! just pulled you straight up off the floor like it was nothing and you swooned. Henry kicked himself for days over not correcting you. You were amazing and kind and funny and he'd do anything to go out on a date with you....Apart from over come his own bashfulness that is. he wanted to show you how pretty you were to him how much he'd grown to care for you just from watching you with kal but he chickened out yet again.

You smiled moving forward to Kal already getting tearful snuggling him tightly saying your good bye running your nose through his fur Henry's heart clenched when he saw you getting upset he just wanted to wrap you up in his arms and hug you tell you how he felt but no...It wasn't fair to spring his crush on you on the last day...He should have told you sooner, swept you off your feet taken you out wined and dined you. But he hadn't and now he had to say good bye without even giving it a try, the only constellation was that he'd ask for you back next season. He watched sorrowfully at your tears Kal licked them away and you kissed his snout. "Now you listen to me pooh bear you behave..you hear me you be a good boy for you daddy and stop chewing them claws! you have a lovely set of claws and your going to ruin them and get stinky breath if you carry on!" you quickly stood up and Henry pulled you in for a quick hug. "I-er...I'm...Th-thank you for being so good with him he hasn't been this taken care off well ever I don't think!" you smiled wiping at your eye going red your heart was crumbling as you took your last few moments with him. You’d failed to keep your feelings at bay and now you were going to pay dearly for it. "No-your to kind....You do a brilliant job...I-it was fun good luck with the press tour" the conversation came to a screeching halt as you both debated telling one another but in the end you didn't each to scared. You’d turned and left tears trailing down your face once out of sight you held your head in your hands and had a good old cry. You felt ridiculous miserable and very very sorry for yourself. But whats done is done...Or not done shall we say you left shortly after needing to be at home there was a litre tub of vanilla ice cream calling your name.

It wasn't until Henry got home he let it sink in he wasn't going to see you anymore. He broke down cursing and kicking out in a very uncharacteristic manner 'you were such a fucking coward! you should have told her'....He should have grown a back bone and asked you out but no...He held himself back yet again! over the next months he had stewed regrets piling, he replayed all the times he could of just asked you out, all the times when he had to admit his feelings the list got longer  each day. He missed you Kal missed you...The teddy you bought him was with him each time he slept no matter where Kal would wander off getting the teddy and used it as a pillow.

He'd sometimes just sit in his bed with it blinking at Henry, Kal wanted to know where you were he wanted to see you again. Sometimes he would bring it up to him and drop it nudging the stuffed bear to Henry with a sad look whining pitifully like 'wheres mama?' that is what Henry had ended up calling you...In a short few months you'd more of less become Kal's mother. You dotted on him and he you....It was Henry who fucked up! and boy did he feel guilty seeing Kal so upset he had even tried hiding the teddy a few times wanting his cheerful bear back but no that had been a big mistake Henry had left the room for a few moments and came back to a hell of a mess Kal ripping the place up looking for the toy almost panic. Henry had to give it back and since then hadn't got within three feet of it Kal guarded it with his life. Henry sighed he was angry at himself if he'd opened his mouth then you'd be here visiting at least! He could of tried could of build something with you but no Henry had been a coward. and he would not be making that same mistake again!  luckily filming was starting again next week so he would see you again! he'd been telling Kal that they were going to see you both again it was nice seeing Kal get all excited he had been depressed.

And that was why is was all the more heartbreaking when he got on set and you wasn't there. Henry was pissed, he had been gearing up getting himself ready to see you again but you wasn't here...Everyone he asked said they hadn't seen you then it finally came out that no one was hired for Kal this time. You were a victim of your own success, Kal had been so good last time that it was decided the money could be spent elsewhere. It broke his heart he wanted so desperately to see you to finally ask you out for Kal to cheer up they were both love struck and both heart broken and depressed. After a week Henry had finally stopped pushing to find you resigning himself to the fact he wasn't going to get his second chance and he just hopped Kal would snap out of it...He doubted it though Akitas were revered for their loyalty and intelligence Henry wouldn't forget so the likelihood of Kal forgetting was slim. he sat at the table sighing he was down everyone could tell neither Henry or Kal had the spring in their step they once had.

Everyone knew the change in the two was because you hadn't been there Joey, Anya and Freya were at a loss unsure how to make him feel better that is until Freya asked around the local village. She remembered Henry mentioning that you were saving up to be a dog groomer and she said something in passing about an Akita in need of a good brush in the local shop and bingo! The shop owner smiled and gushed over the new mobile groomers, a local lady who had just set up shop. The woman had rushed to the counter getting a business card and little leaflet. Freya wasn't sure how but she just knew it'd be Henry's bou. She was excited thanking the woman before rushing back to set.

Once on set Freya made her way right through it searching for a down trodden Henry. She was determined to help him out...And keep a secret at the same time, she wanted it to be a surprise. Finally she found him sitting at a covered table picking at his food Kal beside him resting his chin on the bench beside him.

"Henry? I have something that might cheer Kal up~" he looked to Freya with a confused look Joey and Anya frowned to noting the sly grin on her face. Henry placed his fork down wiping his hand and took a small purple business card and matching purple leaflet. He scowled reading it. Mama bears puppy spa?. He frowned looking up at Freya who smiled knowingly.

"I found it in the village shop window...Just trust me phone up, you can email to see? and the prices are reasonable...I think get them to come give Kal a quick once over might cheer him up having a little pamper" Henry sighed looking to the scruffy boy he was shedding again so maybe a wash cut and blow dry would help cheer him up...and stop him from waking up with fur in his mouth.

"Thanks...I think I might mobile one I take it?" Freya smirked nodding to him Henry was just to out of it to even

"Gets raving reviews...A local lady I think but seriously just treat him!" he smiled thanking her again deciding he might as well he had noticed Kal chewing his claws again but hadn't got the nail clippers with him and if they were going to come out here might as well get the works done. So that's what he did asked them to come out the next day as he had it off they booked as a last minuet. And that was where he now found himself sitting by the entrance of set waiting for a big purple mobile dog groomers. He was so engrossed in looking out for the van he didn't notice Freya Anya and Joey gathered a few feet behind him watching. Henry sighed petting Kal and wiping off the shedding fur letting it fall to the floor in tufts.

"God Kal you really do need this huh buddy? must be horrible going from silky daily brushed fur to now just once a week" He smiled rubbing Kal’s back dragging his fingers through the fur.

Henry frowned as suddenly Kal lifted his head sniffing then quicker then Henry could react he sprinted off across the makeshift car park Henry jumped up shouting for him but it was to late Kal was off the dog ignored him running around the corner and down the long track. Henry’s heart clenched and his blood ran cold as Kal disappeared out of sight then he heard it large truck skid to a stop Henry screamed Kal’s name tears already streaming fearing the worst as he rounded the corner  drawing attention as he sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him and almost collapsed in relief he was okay! Kal was okay he wasn't hit. He was pacing tail going ballistic and jumping whining excitedly yipping and barking loud and frantic scratching at the door barking and creating a huge fuss.

The door opened just as Henry skidded to a stop sliding on his knees in the gravel hugging Kal who wasn't interested in the slightest still trying to jump up at the woman? He looked up trying to see just what had made Kal pee with excitement. Henry froze as a familiar woman stood before him and quickly caught a jumping Kal and fell to the floor with him and Henry as Kal frantically tried to bombard her with kisses. She crouched down and held Kals face still forcing him to look her in the eyes. He couldn't believe what he was seeing until he heard her speak.

"YOU! JUST WHAT SO YOU THINK YOU WERE PLAYING AT!?!" your shout meant nothing to the pup as he was lunging at you wanting his kisses whining  beating Henry with his tail stayed behind the bear shaking like a leaf still in shock he petting him he needed to touch him after that scare.

"Henry!? Who was watching him?! I'll fucking kick there ass! fuck I'm so happy I saw him shit... Fuck! heads are gonna roll!" Henry tilted his head looking at you moving a hand to cup your cheek slowly.

"Y/n is-is that really you?" you smiled now calming down nodding to him

"Yeah...Hi Henry...I er-I take it Kal is my client for the day?" Henry nodded still refusing the release kal even though the dog wanted nothing to do with him as far a he was concered his mama was here and he wanted his cuddles.You smiled and stood up dusting yourself off then looked to the truck Kal wriggled out of Henry's grip jumping at you making you laugh ad pet him.

"Hey pooh bear I gotta move the truck first then we can have cuddles okay? Can you go with your daddy for a bit?" Henry stood shaking his head at you.

"No he wont he has missed you something chronic...He has been real depressed" you looked down to the dog and smiled opening the truck door and motioned for hims to climb in.

"Go on then one quick little ride then we can sort you out you little scruff bear...You getting in?" Henry nodded watching wincing as Kal clambered up into the truck then jumped in behind him controlling Kal a little as you drove up and parked off to the side then turned to face the still yipping pup.

"Okay okay bear calm down here you want cuddles?" at your open arms the dog dived at you still wagging his tail how it hadn't snapped off from hitting the hand break you don't know. "So pooh bear is my last minuet appointment? For the whole hog right?" Henry was stumped you...You were different still the same beautiful woman he hadn't stopped thinking about but you were more confident. you were happier and you glowed more if that was possible. Henry was flawed now was his chance...Why wasn't he speaking? why didn't he just say something? you looked at him a little confused. "Are you err...Are you okay Henry?" you asked slightly worried as Kal began to settle now that he had his mama back he placed his heavy head on your shoulder whining quietly in your ear. "I just... He needs a pamper...A professional pamper so... could you?" you smiled quickly nodding then quickly scratched Kals back kissing his cheek making him smile again. "Absolutely! make your boy nice and clean and fluffy and I even have a cute little dicky bow for the sweet boy~ Yesh I do  yesh I do my precious little pooh bear! you wanNa look all snazzy for you daddy? you coming in to? Can give you some pointers then you want have to splash out on it" it was then that something snapped in him and he stared at you licking his lips he began talking before he could even decide what to say. "...But what if I err...what if I wanted to splashout...It..Splashout on you?...And you know have you take care of him again...Have you stick around..." you frowned blinking he wanted you around? you'd assumed he had found someone better to look after the bear when you hadn't been called back. "You want me to stick around and look after Kal again?" he nodded blushing and running a hand through his hair he looked at you and swallowed.Fuck it Henry man up! just tell her!. "No! I...I want you to stick around and look after the both of us....Fuck that sounded clingy...W-What I meant is we both missed you...We have-Kal has been depressed...That fucking teddy! the bear you gave him he has been carrying it whining with it...Looking to me sulking he wanted me to find you again...I was such an ass i got him all excited to see you again and then you wasn't here he-we were both upset...A-and I want to see you...like see you" "You want me to...I don't understand...You don't want me to dogsit? Or you want me to dogsit again?" he sighed he was really ballsing this up. He tilted his head at you and moved to stroke Kals back calming himself down it was now or never Henry don’t let her escape again just Take the bull by the horns your meant to be a fucking witcher! superman and you cant even tell her you like her. he closed his eye and spoke with a low firm voice. "I want you here! I missed you and when I got home I was kicking myself....Y/n I have a- I was super excited to see you again but your not here and I...We need you...You were right Kal has a crush on you! A crush?...He's fucking in love with you and he was depressed without you! Missed you so much" you blinked looking from the dog to Henry "Kal...Loves me?" Henry nodded biting his bottom lip he sighed he could do this...He could do this just ask! just tell you. He smiled sweetly smoothing his hand over his face watching at you glanced at him weary. Then held up a hand then let it fall to his thigh. "Well yes very very much and he missed you terribly.... And he wants to spend time with you again and talk...Get to know you better and got out for walks, coffee ,maybe dinner? and I-I'm fucking this up shit..." you blinked gasping quietly l finally catching up with him you smiled shyly before speaking in a small voice. "Are...Are we still talking about Kal Henry?" you held your breath regretting the words as soon as they left your mouth maybe your hopes were to high? Were you reading to much into this?.   "No were not I..Please would-If you don't mind..And you don't have to! but I...Would you go out with me?...For Kal! He needs a woman around! he needs his Mama-NO NOT LIKE ERR SHIT FUCK!" you flushed blushing deep as Henry panicked covering his face embarrassed muttering trying to dig himself out of the hole he had dug. You giggled at him and smiled really embarrassed and moved to Kal peeking at him. Then spoke in a clear voice halting Henry's waffling. "Kal?~...Ha-have you been telling your daddy on me?~ you know when I told you I had a crush on him it was supposed to be a secret!" Henry snapped his head up to you blinking as if still taking in the information then a huge grin split across his face. "You have a crush on- fuck yes!" he leaned over to you before you could move he pressed Kals head out of the way and captured your lips you gasped making him smirk and quickly dart into your mouth. Henry smiled tilting his head you moaned l softly as he pressed you further back twisting his head suckling and thrusting back and forth trying to coax your tongue from your mouth. Then it was brought to an abrupt end as Kal lifted his head snout bumping into you chin snapping your jaw shut biting Henry's tongue. You quickly opened your mouth as he hissed and grunted jolting back with a laugh as almost immediately Kal gave him a look thag clearly said 'my mama' then began kissing your cheeks himself. Henry rolled his eyes poking out his tongue touching it with the pad of his finger checking for blood he smiled when there was none then spoke in a deep tone almost scolding to the pup snuggling into your neck hiding fro his dad.

"Kal....Son? You know your gonna have to share your Mama with me...I am your dad.."you chuckled leaning back looking to Henry as Kal continued to hide.

"Soo you..er you want to get lunch? Maybe after I sort out Kal?...He should have a nap after a good bath." Henry grinned wide nodding to you he was over the moon. "I'd love that! Maybe get a rerun of that kiss....Minus the jealous bear" you wriggled your eyebrows at him.

"Nah! Don’t have to wait that long! We can kiss when Kals safely leashed in the bath!" Kal suddenly pulled back wide eyed looking back and froth between you both making Henry laugh.

"Oh yes I forgot the bear doesn't like his baths" you giggled at him.

"Oh well you definitely need to be there with me...for moral support" he smiled wickedly before looking to Kal who was suddenly uncomfortable with the looks he was receiving. 

"Kal-e-bear time for a bath~" the dogs ears went down flat against his head as he sensed his parents were indeed going to wrestling him into a bath.

[footballfanfictions]

The thrill of the chase - Chapter Two

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Authors Note: Sorry that this has taken a little longer than anticipated and thank you so much for all the love for the first part.

--------------------------------------------------------------

One of the main drawbacks of working with social media, is that you are always on social media and you’re constantly bombarded with information and images that make you feel downright crap about yourself.

I’d been asked to take over the instagram page of one of the high profile players at the club and his entire feed was just one supermodel and influencer after the other with the odd footballer thrown in to balance it out. They were all so stunning that it truly made me feel awful about myself, how could it not? My salary was pretty good for a new graduate but not quite good enough for weekly manicures, lip fillers and hair extensions and my time management wouldn’t stretch for that either, I barely made my eyebrow wax appointments.

I was trying to avoid looking at the player’s DMs while I posted a few pictures from the pre-season training sessions to his feed, but the notifications pinging every few minutes was getting quite annoying.

Has it been Brianna with access to his account and not me, she would have gone straight to his messages to read them. I preferred to live in blissful ignorance to the sleazy ways of the men around me. I already felt like finding a good guy was absolutely hopeless.

I had been renting a flat and I was saving for a deposit to buy a house, hoping that by the time I had saved up enough to buy that I would have found the right person to live with. If I were to attempt this alone, with London house prices I would be around  60 by the time I had saved enough alone.

The message notifications continued to come in and whoever Sam was, she was really keen.

I logged out after posting the final image and prayed I wouldn’t have to go into it again. The less I knew about their private lives, the better. It would be pretty awkward to be sat in the staff and players’ family box at a game knowing that the wife of someone I knew was cheating was close by. Best to steer clear of those complications.

Brianna hadn’t visited my office at all and by 12 I was both worried and hungry and decided to go looking for her.

I tried the kit room first but it was empty and surprisingly tidy. Dave kept a tight ship and liked everything to be in its place but it wasn’t often possible with the sheer volume of kits that needed to be looked after.

As I backed out of the kit room and closed the door, I felt something hit me in the back.

“Sorry” mumbled the voice from behind me. “I was looking for Dave, I need a new top.”

I knew who it was but I didn’t really want to turn around and look at him.

“They’re not in there, I was just looking for him and Brianna too.” I responded in an emotionless tone, shrugging.

“Why are you being so weird?” he asked.

I turned to face him then and gave him a look of contempt before I answered him. “Maybe I just don’t enjoy spending time around footballers?”

“No offence love, but I think you might be in the wrong job if that is the case.” he put his hand on the door, next to my head where I was practically pinned against the door by how close he was to me. Only then did I realise that the training top that he was wearing was ripped, front he shoulder to his navel, the material hanging and exposing his toned chest and abs. I tried to look away but he had caught me looking and was now smirking.

“Maybe it’s just you that puts me off.” I shrugged as I ducked under his arm, escaping from my position between him and the door.

“You really don’t like me?” He huffed. “I don’t remember doing anything to offend you personally.”

“Maybe I’m offended that privileged young lads get money, fame and praise just for kicking a ball around a muddy field. Try something more impressive, like curing cancer or performing life saving surgery, ending world hunger, ending wars.” I groaned in frustration. Maybe that was the truth of it. Why should he get all the praise and admiration that he got, just for playing a sport? There were so many incredible people in the world doing, or working towards the things in that list that never got half the praise that Mason Mount did for kicking a ball.

He looked a bit dumb struck.

I went in again, “Maybe I don’t like you assuming that I should be into you, just because you’re Mason Mount, England and Chelsea midfielder. Maybe that’s what the girls in the club that throw themselves at your feet are into, but it’s not for me.”

I made to leave and he grabbed my hand and mumbled, “Sorry, I’ll leave you alone from now on.”

I didn’t respond. Just pulled my hand from his and stormed off towards the boot room, leaving him outside of the kit room in his ripped shirt.

“Fuck it smells like feet in here.” I complained, walking into the boot room with my nose pinched between my fingers in disgust.

“When I said that I liked shoes to dad, this is not what I meant.” Brianna laughed.

“What are you doing in here, I didn’t think boots were part of your job?” I asked, perching on one of the benches while Bri sat on the floor, sorting through a massive pile of boots to try and match up the pairs. They were in all sorts of bright colours and differing sizes. If I had to guess, I’d guess that she had been at her task for hours.

“Dad and the boot guy had some sort of emergency” she shrugged.

I laughed at that, wondering what kind of emergency you could have that involved kits and boots. Maybe they hadn’t ordered the right brand or something and one of the stars wasn’t going to get his cash from his boot deal if they didn’t find him the right pair.

There was a little tap on the sliding glass door that lead out onto the pitches and stood there was the guy from the other day that had held the door to the cafeteria open for us. He looked a little sheepish.

“Are you going to let him in?” I asked Bri, trying to unbury her from the pile of boots by throwing some of them into a pile, all of the orange ones in one corner, the yellow in another pile and pink in another and so on.

“Oh yeah.” she said, standing and brushing herself off, and adjusting her skirt that rode up her thighs slightly. The guy had noticed and I watched as he tried to look away and then down at his feet. At first I hadn’t thought that his shyness was that genuine. Footballers were all confident cocky little shits in my book, I’d never met one that was shy and unsure of himself.

Bri unlocked the door and let him in.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but only one of these fits” he said, holding up a pair of lime green boots and giving Bri an apologetic smile.

“Oh shit” she said, taking the pair from him and inspecting them. “I’ve given you one 10 and one 9.5.” she looked through the pile of lime green boots until she said “aha!” triumphantly brandishing another size 10 boot. “Here you go my love.”

That as just Bri’s way, she called everyone little pet names all the time, but he didn’t know that and he was blushing profusely and I was almost certain that his hands were shaking as he laced the boots up.

“Thank you so much.” he mumbled, looking like he was about to die of embarrassment. He turned to walk back out of the sliding door, but hadn’t realised that Bri had shut it behind him, so he ended up walking straight into the glass, hitting it with enough force to emmit a cracking noise from his nose which was suddenly streaming with blood.

I jumped up from my seat and crossed the room to him, avoiding the piles of boots the best that I could, not wanting to add myself to the casualty list.

I had an unused tissue in my pocket, that I took out and pressed to his nose. It was instantly bright red and the blood poured straight through it.

“Bri can you go and warn the medical room that we need to bring him down?” I asked.

She nodded in agreement and rushed out of the room.

I put my arm around his waist and guided him back over to the benches. He sat down and I slipped my cardigan off. It was a very thin material and already a deep shade of red. I didn’t let him protest as I replaced the tissue with my cardigan. It was the best that we had, and he looked like he was in a lot of pain.

“I’ve never seen anyone get that flustered before.” i laughed, sitting down beside him. He managed to give me a pained grin.

‘It’s Bri isn’t it? Is she why you were waiting by the canteen door the other day?” I asked gently, patting him reassuringly on the back. “I wanted to send her out of the room so that I could ask you, and also to reassure you that you shouldn’t be embarrassed about this. I’ve seen Bri do a lot more embarrassing things. She’s always falling over and hurting herself. You would make quite the pair.” I laughed.

He shook his head and mumbled “I can’t ask her out”.

“Why the hell not?” i scoffed.

“She has a boyfriend doesn’t she?” he shrugged, looking really sombre.

“Ah no, not anymore. Things are definitely over between her and that prick, and between you and me, if she ever gets back together with him, I’ll give her a matching broken nose.” I bumped shoulders with his, trying to cheer him up, just as Bri came back into the room and told us that the medical room were waiting for him.

“Can you come with me?” he asked, not talking to Bri, but to me instead.

“Sure, I would do anything to get out of work this afternoon. Our twitter page today is just full of fans that are disappointed that we didn’t use the Hazard money to sign Messi.” I laughed, getting up and guiding him towards the door.

“Can we catch up later?” I asked Bri before leaving the room, she nodded and told me she would be free all evening.

As we walked down the corridor I said to him “See, no plans to see a boyfriend” and he blushed again.

One of the medical assistants rushed out to meet us and guided him into the room exclaiming “Billy, what the hell? How have you done that?”

He shrugged, clearly feeling embarrassed about how he had injured himself. So when they looked over at me for clarification, I shrugged too.

Billy wasn’t the only player needing the use of the treatment room. As he sat down on one of the chairs, I noticed that Ben was in there too.

The medic went about dabbing Billy’s nose and he cried out in pain.

“Sorry about your cardigan.” he said, looking down at the red material on his lap. He didn’t need it now that he was getting patched up.

“Honestly don’t worry about it Billy.” I grinned.

The medic then mumbled something about needing something and left the room.

That gave Billy a bit more confidence to talk about what had happened.

“And thank you for the advice about your friend.” Billy seemed a bit happier as he said that, and I could see Ben out of the corner of my eye looking over at us as Billy spoke.

“Please tell me you’re going to ask her out!” Ben laughed.

I turned to look at him and smiled. “You know?”

Ben nodded and looked at Billy with a horrified expression “Oh god, you asked her out and she punched you.”

I shook my head. “Not exactly.” I said.

“The boyfriend was here for some reason, and he punched you?’ Ben went on, standing up and coming over to Billy. He walked with a slight limp.

He stood in between us.

“Why are you in here if you don’t mind me asking?” I looked down at his leg while asking the question.

“It’s my hamstring, nothing too serious.” He smiled.

“Don’t laugh at me when I tell you how I did this.” Billy warned, pointing at his nose. “I walked into a sliding glass door that I thought was open, all because she gave me a pair of boots and called me love.” he groaned, covering his face in embarrassment.

Ben laughed and clapped Billy on the back with his hand. “Oh mate, no wonder you’re embarrassed.” he then addressed me, asking “Just how cringy was it?”

I shook my head before answering him, “I honestly don’t think it was that bad. Bri is pretty oblivious sometimes and I don’t actually think she realised the real reason for you hurting yourself. So if you were to pluck up the courage to speak to her, I wouldn’t even bring it up.”

_________________________________________________________

The next day, I was looking out at the training pitches while I waited for the coffee machine to finish making my drink when there was a gentle tap on my door.

I crossed the room and opened it, expecting it to Bri or maybe even the club photographer giving me some new pictures of the squad to use, but it was Ben.

“Hi, are you free?” he asked, giving me one of his sweet smiles.

“Yeah come in.” I said, stepping back into my office and letting him pass me so that I could hold the door open.

“That coffee smells nice”. He remarked.

“Do you want one? Or did I put you off the other day?” I smiled.

“Ah no thanks, and no you didn’t put me off. I’ve never really liked the stuff. I like the smell of coffee, it just doesn’t taste as good as it smells.” as he spoke I realised that he was holding something in a plastic bag.

He realised that I was looking at it. “It’s your cardigan. I washed it for you at home. Think I got all the blood out but it’s red so I can’t really tell.”

I was for once, speechless. It was a small gesture but it was really kind all the same. I thought about making a witty remark about it actually being his mother or an employed cleaner that washed it for him but I just couldn’t bring myself to.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that. It’s only an old primark cardigan.” I said, taking the bag from him.

I suddenly felt a bit flustered in his company. He had that charming smile and didn’t really look like a cocky footballer to me. He didn’t act like one much either, he was just kind of like the guy next door, or the guy you would see on Tinder with a picture of him with his mates at the only photo on the profile so you couldn’t tell which one you were swiping for.

In all honesty, he kind of reminded me of my ex boyfriend Rory. He had the same sort of look, and they had similar accents. Maybe it was nostalgia that made me find being around Ben comforting.

‘I think your coffee is done.” he said, gesturing to the machine.

I nodded and walked over to the machine, taking the cup and adding some creamer and sugar. As I stirred the cup, he leant against my desk and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Something is bothering me if I’m honest.” he said.

“What is it?” I asked curiously.

“Mason said that you told him that you hate all footballers because we’re privileged and get too much clout for what we do.” He looked slightly disappointed in me. “Thing is, I don’t entirely disagree with you. Maybe we do get paid too much for what we do, and maybe doctors and nurses deserve way more praise than we do. I also don’t think that you hate all footballers. You were really kind to Blly yesterday and he won’t forget that in a hurry. You really helped him.” he continued.

“I don’t hate Billy, and I don’t think I hate you either.” I said quietly, taking a sip of my coffee.

“That is interesting.” he grinned, as he took one of my hands and guided me over to him, to stand in between his legs where he now sat on the edge of my desk.

Instinctively I put my coffee cup down and he put his arms around my waist.

“It’s interesting?-” he cut me off before I could say anything else, by pressing his lips against mine. The kiss is soft and gentle and lasts only a few seconds. He testing me and my brain is going in so many different directions. Am I actually going back on all of my principles and kissing a fucking footballer right now? And am I only doing it because he reminds me of my ex?

He moves to pull away, breaking the contact between our lips and I let out the tiniest whimper before putting my hand on the back of his head and pulling him back in for more. This time his tongue slips past my parted lips. My hand at the back of his head grips a generous handful of his hair and one of his hands makes its way to my bum.

My body feels like it is on fire. It has been a bloody long time since anyone kissed or touched me, and I hadn’t quite realised just how starved of affection I had been until I got a taste of it, a taste of him.

The telephone on my desk started to ring,and although I tried to ignore it, I just couldn’t. My job meant a lot to me and if it were Marina or someone of equal importance I would be chastised for missing the call.

We broke the kiss at the same time and I apologised to him. He grinned and fired back that I didn’t need to apologise and that he needed to get back to training, and by the time I picked up the phone, he was gone.

[fbfh]

light up the dark [V] - leo x reader

genre: romance + action + enemies to lovers kinda

word count: 2.4k

au: none

pairing: Leo x gothy!child of eros!fem reader

requested: yes teehee

warnings: spoilers for HOO but like what’s new, at least one fuck, mentions of breakfast foods and burger king, one “cranberry fucknut”, brief visit to a historical memorial site, I think that’s it????

summary: you have a very weird dream that leads you to realize you’re actually on some kind of quest! very fun! you, Leo, and Jason follow a lead, find out Chiron’s sending you guys some backup, and realize you’re going to need a very large airbnb

listen to: making mirrors - gotye aka the best dream sequence music

                also we’re the rats. it’s not relevant just living in my brain.

a/n: honest to god it tookme so long to write this i forget what happens in the first half rip

also requests r open uwu

Your dream is unnerving, and not just because you had spent years in a dreamless sleep and forgot what dreaming was like. Okay, partially because of that, but also because of the atmosphere. 

You’re standing in a dark room. It’s pitch black, but you can make out the shape of the room, which is unusual to say the least. It’s long and rectangular, and the ceiling has cylindrical indents, almost as if giant logs were supposed to fit there. The indents go across the short side, with another in front of it, like a rope bridge across a river. Giant curved metallic discs like flat mushrooms are embedded in the ground at regular intervals. 

You get the feeling something’s missing. You stare up at the ceiling trying to get more information, when something hot and glowing presses against the roof. It shines through, casting everything in a strange pink light. You can’t see it, but you know what it is. A translucent sundial that gave off a glowing orange cast.

Sunstone. 

You look back down not wanting to hurt your eyes, and they fall on someone else in the room. He hadn’t been there a second ago. He’s blonde, and looking up at the ceiling, seemingly unbothered by the blinding light. 

“He has it,” he says, wistfully, almost regretfully. 

"Who?" You question. 

"I can't pronounce his name, no one can."

"How can we get it back if we can't find him?" He smiles, liking how you know what he needs you to do before he even tells you. 

"I can't tell you his name, but he's very old… some may even say archaic…" He looks at you with intention, searching for a spark of understanding. He doesn’t find what he’s looking for, and continues, “and not far from here. Which is good, since I need you to get it back for me.” 

“How do we find it?” He tosses you a small, clear container filled with what looks like yellow slime. You look at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“It’s a drop of sunshine,” he explains, “don’t touch it or you’ll burn up. It’ll glow when you get closer to what you’re looking for.” You tuck it in your jacket pocket.

“Can-”

Before you can get out the rest of the sentence, you feel like you’re being pulled out of deep water. Your eyes shoot open, and you take in a quick breath through your nose. You open and close your eyes a few times, and push yourself into a sitting position. There’s a weight on your stomach and you trace the hand back to Jason, who had gently nudged you awake moments ago. His mouth is open and there’s a stale smile, like he was about to tell you to rise and shine. Your stare is unwavering, and he retracts his hand. 

“Uh… breakfast is ready,” he says, turning back and heading over to the couch. 

“Kay,” you mutter, still groggy and disoriented. Maybe sleep just isn’t for you. Jason hesitates about half way across the room, noticing the lack of cat-like vengefulness in your tone of voice.

“...You okay?” he asks softly. 

“Fine, just a weird dream,” you roll your shoulders, back sore and stiff, to try and loosen the two stubborn knots just below your shoulder blades. His eyebrows furrow at your words and you continue, “I’m starting to think I should add a little chloroform to my sleepy time tea.” 

“What happened?” he asks, sounding way more serious than you’d expected.

“I dunno, I-” he cut you off, calling for Leo. Jason encourages you to tell them what you’d dreamed about as in depth as possible once Leo comes in from the sitting area, so you don’t have time to gauge how he seems after last night. You feel a little silly trying to describe a surreal dream to them, especially since they seem to be paying such rapt attention. After recalling as many details as you could, they sat in silence for a minute. They share a look, then sigh in unison. Jason pushes up his glasses and squeezes the bride of his nose as Leo lets out a soft ‘fuck’. 

“I’ll go iris message Chiron, Leo, do you want to get some food and offerings to burn?” Jason says. Leo agrees, and Jason’s already in the sitting area, misting water in the air with a squirt bottle. Leo puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Why don’t you get dressed, I already made some coffee,” he says, the spike of hesitance that shot through his stomach at his instigated physical contact dissolving when you nod sleepily. An unusually warm feeling clouds through you, less distant and detached than normal. You realize while digging through your bag that for whatever reason, you didn’t hate the feeling of Leo’s hand on your shoulder. You grab your clothes from your bag, and feel a weight in your jacket. You reach into the pocket, and pull out the “slime” from your dream. It glows briefly, fading as you walk towards the bathroom. Huh, you think, at least now we know what to look for. You’re grateful for the example as you get dressed and freshen up, wondering what the hell happens next. 

Burning the food doesn’t take long. Leo throws the extra breakfast they’d ordered onto the metal table on the patio, except for a piece of toast he held in his hands. He summons fire until the toast is engulfed in flames, and drops it with the rest. He fans the smoke and asks for guidance, protection, typical pre quest stuff. After a minute or two, he pours out a pitcher of water to extinguish the flames, and heads back into the sitting area with Jason. On his way, he watches you through the open bathroom door for a second as you put on your makeup. You sure are different from girls he’d liked in the past. A strong twinge of pain from the previous night makes him flinch. He shoves it away, and takes a seat, greeting Chiron through iris message. Jason had just finished filling him in on the dream and the sundial, and he looks worried.

“I was afraid this might be the case. I'd gotten word that something like this might have happened, but I hoped it was just hearsay… I'm sorry boys, but you're most definitely on a mission from the gods. The story behind that sundial is long and complicated; in summary, if Apollo does not have his sundial by june, summer cannot happen."

"Wh- like, time will stop?" Leo says. 

"Will it just skip to autumn?" Jason adds. 

"What about Persephone?"

"Can Demeter do anything?" 

Chiron holds up his hands to quiet them. 

"I wish I could say, but no one really knows what will happen, only that we do not wish to find out."

"So, what do we do?" Jason asks. 

"Who can I send?" Chiron says to himself, "Dear gods, this is… unfortunate."

"Chiron," Jason says again, getting his attention. 

"Right, I'm sorry my boy, this whole situation is… preoccupying." Jason agrees, and asks what they should do next. 

"Get as much information as you can from what Apollo has told you. I'll gather some people to send over at once, they'll be on their way shortly. This is most distressing…" he trails off, lost in thought again, and the iris message cuts out. Jason's stomach is in knots. 

After freshening up, you get dressed, having chosen your clothes deliberately before. If shit’s about to hit the fan, which it looks like it is, you’re going to need a strong balance of comfortable and kick ass. Plus, it’s still the cold part of spring, and New England weather is no joke. 

You assess yourself in the mirror, satisfied with your choice; half black half gray cargo pants with chain belts, a long sleeved fishnet top with a black crop top over it, and one of your favorite pairs of platform boots. You topped it off with a layered choker studded with black jewels and delicate chains, asymmetrical earrings - one attached to an ear cuff, the other dangling - and a ring that looks like a snake wrapped around your finger. Last but not least, a dark olive green bomber jacket with ‘god save the queen’ written on the back in paint. 

Your mind wanders as you lean closer to the mirror, laser focused on perfecting your eyeliner. The memory of Leo’s hand on your shoulder creeps back up, and your brow furrows at the panicked flush to your cheeks, wondering why you didn’t push him off. 

‘Some cranberry fucknut broke his heart last night, I didn’t want him to feel worse’, you think deliberately, refusing room for any objections or alternative solutions your brain keeps offering up. You finish your makeup relatively quickly, pleased at how much better it looks when you don’t sleep in it for years. Your hair is… hanging in there, but you can’t drop everything and redye it now. At least you know what color you want next - a nice, coral tinted red. You’ll have to keep an eye out the next time you go shopping. 

Finally, you’re ready. You put away your makeup and pajamas, and make your way over to the boys. You grab some coffee and pick at a muffin, the strategy session beginning. 

Jason takes a sip of his own coffee, scowling at the slightly burnt taste.

“Where should we start looking? Do we have any decent leads?”

You sip your coffee, your face mirroring Jason’s moments before.

“The guy from my dream-”

“Apollo,” Jason interjects.

“Right,” you continue, “he said whoever has what we’re looking for has a really hard to pronounce name or something. Maybe we can start there.”

After some back and forth, and consulting of travel guides, you find a memorial for some historical figure with a name that definitely would have gotten him bullied. 

“Wasn’t that guy a demigod?” Leo asks, and Jason confirms. You’re already checking the maps scattered around for a route.

“It looks like it’s pretty much just further west from where we are, we can probably get there pretty easily,” you remark. Jason and Leo look at you, then each other. No one has any better ideas, and at least it’s some kind of lead. 

~

Four and a half hours later, you sat in the car in stumped silence. It took almost three hours to get up to the memorial site, an hour to look around and realize there is absolutely nothing there that can help you at all, ten minutes to debate what to do next, and twenty minutes to get burger king, since no one had eaten since breakfast. 

“Well, that sucked.” 

Leo and Jason give you a look, knowing you’re right.

“Yeah, it did.” Jason agrees matter of factly, earning a small chuckle from you and Leo. 

“So what do we do now?” Leo asks. 

“Well, no one’s around, we could probably iris message Chiron-” before he could finish his sentence, a shimmery image of a tan girl with choppy dark hair appears in front of him. 

Jason and the girl - Piper, apparently - greet each other enthusiastically, then Leo follows suit. It looks like she’s in a cab, holding something at arm's length. You make it out to be a phone, probably to trick her cab driver into thinking she’s on a facetime call or something. Two other people lean over, one blonde and smiling, the other dark haired and irritable, and more greetings are exchanged. You lean slightly to the side so you’ll be out of site and hopefully won’t have to make any introductions. Leo seems to catch onto this, and when Piper’s eyes land on the edge of your shoulder.

“So did Chiron send anyone else?” he asks before she can say anything. 

“Yeah,” she replies, “Frank and Hazel are coming from camp Jupiter; Frank’s flying, and Hazel’s getting a ride from Arion,” Leo and Jason nod in understanding, picking up instantly on her deliberate word choice. Christ, you’re going to have to get a bigger place than that hotel room.  

“Uh… Percy and Annabeth just started spring break, so they’ll be coming soon. Hazel should get there first, for…” she glances at the cab driver, “obvious reasons, and me, Nico, and Will are on our way now, we should be there in a few hours.” 

Your skin is already feeling prickly from the idea of being around that many people. They talk for a few more minutes, and Jason says he’ll tell them the specific address as soon as possible before ending the call.

Thankfully, you all had repacked the car with your bags from the hotel room before you left, just in case you needed anything, so there’s no need to make the two and a half hour trip back to the hotel. You sigh and turn to the boys.

“Why don’t we go get some groceries and stuff, and I can get us an air bnb.” 

They agree, pleasantly surprised and grateful for the normalcy of something like grocery shopping,  and you ask how many people there are going to be.

“Uh, should be te-”

“Eleven.” Leo says firmly. Jason looks like he’s going to say something, but he bites back whatever it is. Leo’s hands normally dance around like swirling snow, light and natural with subtle patterns if you can figure them out. But right now, his normal subconscious movements seem to be heavier, more intentional. His relaxed expression is set in stone, a silent plea to move on, act like everything’s normal, and you know he’s covering up the depth of the wound that girl left on his heart. A twinge of concern flares in your gut, and you blink, looking away. 

“Okay,” you say, pulling out a pen and notepad from your bag to write out a grocery list, “Let’s go. What do we need?”

Jason pulls out of the parking lot, and begins to head to the nearest box store. Your eyes dart over to Leo involuntarily a few times, and by the time you’re almost there, he seems to be almost back to himself. Subconsciously relieved, your mind starts to wander back to the list, skimming it one more time to make sure you don’t forget anything. 

Maybe you can pick up some hair dye while you’re here.

[hslllot]

Part I. Draft Day

fic masterlist | rated: m, mature | word count: 4.6k content/warning: hockey harry, nosey family members, a very brief mention of anxiety, overzealous hockey stans. 

DRAFT REPORT: The 411 on Harry Styles by John Michaelson for Sportsnet

There’s this kid named Harry Styles. He plays hockey. Ever heard of him? 

At this point there’s not much else to be said about the british Fighting Hawks’ centre, a lock to be the No.1 pick in the 2015 NHL Draft. 

Dubbed a generational talent, Styles’ abilities are at a level typically only seen in video games. We all know the Edmonton Oilers will select him with the first overall pick on June 26. In years to come, hockey fans from around the globe (but especially Oilers fans) will be on the edge of their seats, watching to see if the phenom can develop into a future Hockey Hall of Fame talent the way Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux did. 

Here’s what you need to know about Harry Styles: 

Age on June 26: 19 Birthplace: Redditch, Worcestershire, England Current team: University of North Dakota Fighting Hawks  Position: Centre Shoots: Left Height: 6-foot Weight: 190 lbs NHL Central Scouting Rank (North American): 1st

Harry Styles is a franchise-changing player in every sense of the word. He looked like a pro player even before he flew across the pond at a young age to play in the Canadian Hockey League. This has been a long time coming but the future is finally here.

He is talented beyond his years and always has been… Styles has played against older competition his entire career. Growing up in the small village of Holmes Chapel in Cheshire, England, the options for minor hockey teams were limited. Styles struggled to find a team in his age group that matched his talent level and was forced to play with older kids - and even then his talent was unmatched. Like the two other players from the UK currently playing in the NHL, Styles eventually had to leave home and play junior hockey in Canada, where he still had to play up a year against Canadian kids that grew up in a country that eats, sleeps, and breathes the game. 

He should have been drafted 1st overall last year… Styles shocked the hockey world in 2013 when, instead of declaring for the 2014 NHL Draft, he announced he would be attending the University of North Dakota and lead the Fighting Hawks to an NCAA Championship. Styles, ever the media-trained athlete, dodged questions about why he chose to go to university for a year before joining the NHL, simply stating “University was always a part of the plan, no matter what happened with hockey.” The hockey community let out a collective sigh of relief when his agent, Jeffrey Azoff (whose father was, coincidentally, Wayne Gretzky’s agent), announced shortly after his championship win that after one year at UND, Styles would be declaring for the 2015 Draft. 

His trophy case is full... Harry Styles has won pretty much every individual hockey award he could possibly win in his career so far. During his CHL career with the Vancouver Giants he won Rookie of the Year, multiple MVP awards, the award for most goals, assists, and overall points, and scholastic player of the year. During his short-lived NCAA career with UND, he won Rookie of the Year, the Hobey Baker Award as the top men’s hockey player, and was named to the Academic All-American team. Unfortunately, Great Britain’s ice hockey team will not be qualifying for the Olympics or the World Championships any time soon, so unless Styles applies for Canadian citizenship, international trophies and medals will be difficult to come by. Regardless, I have a feeling that there will be many Stanley Cups in his future. 

He really hates underperforming… The kid puts a lot of pressure on himself. As we have seen with many successful athletes, an insatiable inner drive to compete can lead to greatness. Styles has that drive to be great and can be his own worst critic. “When I was growing up, my mum was worried about me because I was a bit of a perfectionist.” Styles told The Hockey News back in December. “When I had a bad game, I would get so upset about it. It’s just how I am and how I think every athlete should be. Good is never enough. It’s important to always keep learning and growing to better yourself.”

He is excited to play for the Oilers… Not that he would have anything bad to say about any of the 30 NHL teams, but the Oilers do hold a special place in Styles’ heart. “It’s a great hockey town with fans that are super passionate about the game.” He told The Hockey News. “They’ve been on a bit of a slide the last couple years but the team has a great history. Not many people watch the NHL where I’m from, but my dad was always interested in it and that’s how I got into the game. He was an Oilers fan during their dynasty years with Gretzky and Messier… So if they do end up drafting me first overall, I’ll feel honored to be a part of the team, and it’ll be a nice tribute to my dad.” 

Be sure to catch our live 2015 NHL Draft coverage on June 26 starting at 5pm EST/2pm PT only on Sportsnet.

“With the first overall pick in the 2015 NHL Entry Draft the Edmonton Oilers are proud to select, from Holmes Chapel in England, Harry Styles.”

The room erupted in loud cheers and applause as the Edmonton Oilers drafted the National Hockey League’s newest and most sought after commodity. 

Y/N’s closest friends and extended family roamed around her parents’ living room, congratulating one another with hugs and handshakes like one of their own family members was just drafted. That wasn’t the case though, they were all just deeply invested in the hockey team and the boy from England that was meant to turn things around after so many years of losing. They were so invested, in fact, that the family organized a gathering similar to something you might see on a holiday, like Thanksgiving or Christmas.

While it was not a normal holiday, for Y/N’s family it was just as significant. It was Draft Day. And every hockey fan in North America wanted Harry Styles to play for their team.

“That’s quite the suit, isn’t it?” Her uncle Will pointed to the television where the young man is dressed in an ornate red floral suit and black dress shirt. The suit was flashier than what most hockey players would wear, but it’s clear that Harry Styles is not like most hockey players. The camera panned to him as he stood up from his seat and hugged the two brunette women sitting next to him. He stuck out like a sore thumb among a sea of other young hockey players all dressed in variations of black and grey as they patiently waited to be drafted from the stands of the BB&T Centre in Florida. It was clear to Y/N that, much like his hockey skills, Harry Styles’ fashion sense was superior compared to his peers.

There was an air of excitement in the room as the draft party, all clad in blue and orange jerseys, watched the generational talent walk down the stairs of the arena and make his way to the stage. They collectively held their breath, the room becoming silent, when he arrived at the stage where both the owner and general manager of the team were waiting to greet him. Harry shook their hands before they handed him his own blue and orange jersey. As he slipped the jersey over his head and posed for a photograph with the executives, the silence in the room broke and excited conversations and speculations for the upcoming season continued. Y/N couldn’t help but feel a stir in her belly and a sense of anticipation for what the upcoming hockey season would bring. 

Her thoughts lingered on the man on the screen, wondering what it might be like to meet him, when her brother pulled her out of her reverie. “Can you believe you’ll be working with the Harry Styles?” 

No - she couldn’t quite believe it. 

In fact, everything happening in her life right now seemed a bit too good to be true.

Set to start her third year of university in September and having to complete mandatory practicum hours in order to graduate the following year, she somehow managed to secure a placement with her favourite hockey team. The Oilers were only taking three students from the university program and everyone in the program wanted one of those spots. 

The application process was incredibly stressful for Y/N. One telephone interview, one in-person interview, and a practical session where she had to demonstrate her athletic therapy skills to the team’s head trainer. She did well with the phone interview, given that they weren’t able to see her. She was able to look down at the talking points she wrote in her notebook and pause to take a couple deep breaths without making it obvious that she was reeling on the inside. Her anxiety got the best of her during the in-person interview though, freezing up when they asked simple questions like “why do you want to work for the team?” and “what experience do you have working with sport teams?”

She left the interview feeling embarrassed, but instead of taking the time to wallow and feel sorry for herself, she went home and spent hours upon hours taping her brothers’ ankles in preparation for the practical session the following day. There was no way she was going to let the opportunity fall through the cracks. Her dream of working for the Oilers was the whole reason she decided to go to school for athletic therapy in the first place. She was never any good at playing hockey but she knew in her heart that, someday, she would work for the team she loved so much. At the end of it all, she reckons her taping skills saved her, so she took her brother out to his favourite restaurant to thank him for letting her use his ankles for practice.

Fast forward a few months and she’s now stood in her parents living room thinking about how in three months she could be taping Harry Styles’ ankles.  

At the time of her application, no one knew the Oilers would be picking first in the draft. The aura around the team was a bit negative at the time (because of all the losing) and there were rumours circulating the city that some of the star players were rude to the support staff and liked to party a little too hard at The Ranch (which contributed to said losing). 

When she first decided to apply for the position her father warned her, “there’s a saying that you should never meet your heroes. What if they’re all a bunch of assholes and you end up hating the team you’ve loved your whole life?” 

Y/N ignored her father’s warning but silently hoped that others would feel that way, narrowing down the applicant pool. However, the rumours circulating the team had no effect on the amount of students applying for the job. The fans were loyal in Edmonton (a city not known by many around the world unless you follow hockey or are compelled to visit North America’s largest shopping mall) and although the team was losing, every kid studying athletic therapy wanted a shot with their favourite team. Y/N knew of at least fifteen students that she beat out for the position. 

Now, it’s late June and there is a general hype surrounding the team, as if Harry was about to come in and shine a light on the Decade of Darkness (a term Oilers fans use to characterize the recent years in which their favourite team hadn’t made the playoffs). That’s a lot of pressure to put on one person, but Y/N supposed that he’s been dealing with this kind of pressure since he was sixteen, maybe even younger. 

Everyone at her family’s draft party was, yet again, watching the television intently while Harry gave his first interview as an official member of the Edmonton Oilers hockey team. While Y/N normally loved watching these types of interviews, she was a bit zoned out- mesmerized by the look of him. The suit, the wavy chestnut hair, the dimple in his left cheek, the accent. The accent. She had never really been that attracted to hockey players, which many people found hard to believe given that she’s such a fan of the sport. All of the guys from her high school who played minor hockey were rotten and thought they were better than everyone else. She did have favourite players in the NHL, players that she loved and admired, but they were her favourites because she loves how they play the game, not because she wants to fuck them. 

There was something different about Harry Styles though. Not necessarily that she wanted to fuck him (especially since she recently signed an employment contract that would forbid it), but she was certainly feeling intrigued by him. He doesn’t look like the boys she went to high school with. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s British, or that he opted for a suit that set him apart from the rest of them, or maybe it was the duality of the way he held himself with unshakeable confidence in his floral suit, his gaze set intensely on the person interviewing him, posture strong and dominant, while simultaneously speaking so softly, his words laced with kindness and gratitude.

“When do you start working with the team, Y/N?” Her uncle Will asked from across the room, prompting everyone to look in her direction waiting for her response. 

The news that Y/N would be working for the Oilers this season shook the family. As soon as her dad shared the news with his brother, she started receiving messages expressing congratulations from her many aunts, uncles, and cousins, shortly followed by messages asking if she would be getting free tickets to games. 

“Um, mid-September, for training camp.” 

“You get to meet Harry Styles?” her 9 year old cousin, Billy, asked. 

“I do. I will be one of the team’s trainers.” The young boy held a look of wonder on his face, as if realizing for the first time that that his oldest cousin was actually kind of cool. 

“Do you think he’s single?” Her aunt Maria asked with a smirk on her face, turning to the television to look at Harry Styles. Aunt Maria doesn’t care much for hockey but she never failed to mention which players she believed to be handsome. She was also the nosey type of aunt that liked to inquire about Y/N’s dating life. “Maybe you two will hit it off.”

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes at her aunt, waving off her comment. But before she could retort, her father chimed in. “Ha! Yea, right! That’s not going to happen. She’s not allowed to date anyone on the team, it’s the rules. Plus, Y/N knows better than to get involved with any of these guys.” 

Her father was right. It is the rules. Y/N thought back to when she went into the Oilers headquarters back in April to sign her employment contract. She asked a lot of questions, making sure she understood everything about the document she was signing. 

“Personal relationships? Even friendships are forbidden?” she asked the head trainer, TJ, for clarification. 

“It depends. You can be friendly, sure, but I would avoid spending time with the players outside of training and game times. Could be seen as unprofessional.”  

Y/N understood why such rules were in place, and she had no issue with it at the time. A woman securing a position on a professional sports team was rare, let alone a woman securing a position with a professional men’s team. She knew when she chose this career path that it would always be an uphill battle and that she’d have to work harder and be more strategic than the men in her field. She wanted- no, needed to excel and prove that she could be a talented athletic therapist and a valuable member of the team, so she had no intention whatsoever of messing that up with any type of personal relationships. She also understood the power dynamic between the professional athletes and the support staff, the different ways in which power can be abused, and how personal relationships could complicate things. It all made sense to her. Plus, she was happy enough with just becoming friends with the other trainers and she probably wouldn’t have a lot of free time, anyways, balancing her practicum and her school work.

Today, however, she couldn’t help the very slight pull on her heartstrings at the thought of not getting to know Harry Styles on a more personal level. 

As if he’d even be interested in the first place.

In a hotel restaurant in Sunrise, Florida, a few hours after the draft, Harry Styles sat with his mother Anne, sister Gemma, and agent Jeff, celebrating his newly drafted status over a bottle of champagne. He knew he should be feeling elated, like it was the best day of his life, but all he felt was exhausted. The conversation at the table happened around him while he sat in his own head, unable to think about anything but what it might feel like to be tucked into his bed in his childhood bedroom in Holmes Chapel. 

The weeks leading up to the draft were an absolute circus filled with interviews and talking to the media nearly every day (he hates talking to the media), shooting promo for all of his endorsements (he’s thankful for the money they give him but he knows he is an excruciatingly terrible actor), and flying around North America to visit all of the potential cities where he might be drafted (it was a pointless tour because everyone knew where he was going to end up). 

He had only tonight to celebrate with his family before it was all set to start again. Him and Jeff will fly off to Edmonton tomorrow morning for a week to speak to the media there, meet the teammate he’ll be living with, and do a surprise skating session with some kids at a summer camp. Meanwhile, his mum and sister will fly back to England.

“Any idea where you’ll live then?” Anne asked her son, pulling him out of his thoughts and back into the conversation. 

“Hm?” He hadn’t a clue what his mum just asked him but he’d hate to admit that rather than listening to anything the three of them had been talking about for the last hour he’d been thinking about how he’d rather be sleeping “Sorry, I think the champagne’s got to me a bit.��� 

“The team’s got him living with one of his older teammates and his family.” Jeff stepped in, knowing Harry wasn’t fully paying attention. “They do this with the young guys to get them used to living on their own. Teach ‘em how to cook, do laundry, and keep ‘em in line. He won’t be partying every night and bringing girls back to his place if he lives with the guy’s wife and kids.” 

“Oh please,” Gemma chimed in. “Not like any of that would be an issue for Harry. He’s been away from home for years. And he’s hardly got time for partying and dating.” 

Harry shot Jeff a look warning him to keep his mouth shut. When Harry found out about the living arrangements the team had planned for him, he was less than pleased. After all, he’d just spent the last year living in a dorm room at the University of North Dakota where he had complete freedom. Gemma was right, he didn’t have much time for partying and dating. But he liked having his own space, and he really liked being able to invite someone over after a game, either to celebrate a win or relieve some stress after a loss. 

“You never know, some of these young guys get their first big pay cheque and a taste of the big leagues and it can go off the rails pretty fast.”

“I like to think I raised my baby to know better than to get caught up in a pay cheque.” Anne placed a comforting hand on her son’s shoulder and he quickly reciprocated, reaching up to place his hand over hers.  

Not liking where this conversation was going, Harry finally cut in. “You did. And Jeffrey, you know I’m not that kinda guy. Either way, none of this matters if I don’t make it past training camp. For all we know I could be going back to the juniors for the season.”

“Doesn’t matter who you are or what kinda guy you are, H, it’s just what the team does. It’s tradition. And c’mon, I know you like to keep your expectations in check, but the team’s made it pretty clear that you’re gonna be in the starting lineup come October.” 

Jeff was right. The team had all but promised that he would make it past training camp. The question wasn’t if he’d make it past training camp, but in what shape he’d be in and how long it would take for the team to start winning games.  

“The coach said I’m small and need to bulk up, especially since I’ll be playing against older, more experienced men.” Harry could feel the weight of his mum’s gaze as she gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I’m not quite where I need to be yet, but I’ll get there.”

Harry and his family were stood in the hotel lobby with Jeff, convening on plans for the morning when he felt a small tug on the hem of his red floral suit jacket. He spun himself around, ready to confront the individual bold enough to touch him without his consent, to find a young girl, no older than five years old staring up at him. 

Harry looked at her, a bit taken aback and undoubtedly with a bit of confusion written on his face, and then spotted, a few feet behind her, two individuals who were most likely her parents. Suddenly, he realized that he may have actually had a few too many glasses of champagne and immediately tried to compose himself, standing straighter and trying to will away the exhaustion in his eyes and the haziness in his mind. 

“Oh - um, hello there.” He cleared his throat before using the soft voice he reserves for adorable, small children like the one stood before him. 

“Are you Harry Styles?” She asked with wide eyes and a small, timid voice.

“I am, sweetheart. What can I do for you?” 

A bright smile etched itself onto her face. But instead of answering him, she looked back at the adults standing behind her, motioning for them to help as she was too shy to proceed on her own. The man, who Harry presumed was her father, moved to stand beside her. 

“This is Millie. She wanted to say hi to you because she’s a big fan of yours.” 

Harry lowered himself in front of the young girl so that he was crouched down and eye-level with her. “Hi Millie, it’s a real pleasure to meet you.” He reached out to shake the young girl’s small hand. “Have you got anything that I could sign? Or I suppose we could take a photo if you’d like?” 

The young girl removed her hand from Harry’s, nodding her head eagerly. She began to unzip her jacket, revealing a bright orange Edmonton Oilers jersey underneath. 

“Oh? Look at that! You’re an Oilers fan. In Florida?” Harry lifted himself from his crouched position and directed his question toward at the girl’s father.

“Yes, well, we actually travelled here from Edmonton, to watch the draft in person.” Harry raised his eyebrows in shock. He knew that the flight from Edmonton to Florida is long, and likely expensive. The tickets to attend the draft live probably weren’t cheap either. “It’s not every day your favourite team picks first overall! Let alone gets to pick a player like you. We were so excited so we decided to make a family trip out of it. Turn around, Millie, show him the back!” Millie’s father handed Harry a sharpie as Millie turned her back to Harry. 

It was at that moment that Harry started to understand the weight of the moment. The name ‘STYLES’ was embroidered on the back of Millie’s Oilers jersey, above the number ‘15’ indicating his draft year. He was speechless. This was, after all, the first time he was seeing his name in the classic Oilers’ orange and blue colours adorned on a fan’s back. 

The feeling was different from earlier at the draft when they presented him with his own jersey. This one belonged to someone else. Someone bought his jersey before he’d even ever played a single minute for the team. They flew across the continent, from Edmonton to Florida, just to watch him get drafted. It was a lot for his hazy, champagne-diluted mind to take in.

Realizing he’d just been standing there staring at the jersey, he cleared his throat once again in hopes that he could hide the unknown thoughts and emotions he was trying to reconcile. “Wow, um, I didn’t realize you could get these already.”

Millie’s father laughed, “Man, they’ve been selling these in Edmonton since they announced we’d be picking first in the draft.” Again, the feeling was overwhelming for Harry. 

We’d be picking first in the draft.

To this family, and probably others in Edmonton, the Oilers were “we”. They win together, they lose together. If the Oilers pick first in the draft, they all pick first. It was their team. And now he, Harry, was a part of that “we”.

Harry reached down to sign the jersey on Millie’s back, quickly scribbling his autograph on the left side. As he straightened himself, he felt Anne move to stand beside him, apparently having sensed her son’s unease and unconscious need for his mother to join him in this moment.

“Hi, I’m Harry’s mum, Anne. Would you like me to take a picture of the four of you?” Millie’s father eagerly handed his phone to Anne and waved his wife over to be in the photo. Several photos of Harry and the family were taken, followed by a few of just Harry and Millie. 

“Would you mind if I took one of Harry and Millie on my phone as well?” Anne asked as she snapped the last photo. “This is the first time Harry’s met a fan wearing his name on an Oilers jersey. We’d like to remember it.” 

The family was more than happy to oblige so Anne took a few more photos on her phone, including one where Millie’s back was to the camera and the ‘STYLES’ name in full view. 

It was so like his mum to understand how special the moment was and to come in and save him. He couldn’t quite articulate what he was feeling in that moment, as understanding emotions and sentimentality were not his greatest strengths, and he most definitely never would have asked to take a photo to keep for himself had she not done it. 

The obvious feelings were joy and gratitude. Every day he was thankful to play the game he loved, to be successful, and to have fans that loved and supported him. It didn’t always make sense that complete strangers paid him so much attention just for playing a game, but he accepted it and always tried to show those strangers kindness in return. However, there was another feeling lingering, one that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Looking at his mum, he knew that she knew what it was. She always knew. And certainly she would make him talk about it later.

As they separated from the family and walked toward the hotel elevators, where Gemma and Jeff were waiting, Anne grabbed onto her son’s arm, holding him close as they walked side by side. 

“Do you see that they love you already, my darling?” She asked. Harry raised an eyebrow at his mum, unsure of what she was going on about. “I know you. I know that you care what people think and that you are scared to disappoint them. You just need to step out on the ice and be yourself. Just be Harry. They already love you and this is only just the beginning.”

WOW! OK. I know it’s a bit of a slow start, but I wanted this chapter to be more of an introduction to harry and the mc and to the fan culture that harry is about to experience!! I’ve already started on the next part so that should be up before Christmas! If you’ve made it this far, all I can say is that I love you and appreciate you. If you liked it, please let me know. I debated not posting this so many times (and I might even regret it later) so feedback will certainly ease my troubled mind!! I ALWAYS LOVE YOU, BUT ESPECIALLY TODAY!! xx Shan. 

Harry’s Draft Day Look

talk to me about generational | fic masterlist

[fuchsiagrasshopper]

Contending the Flame II

Author’s Note: Next part as things start to pick up and Ivar making his first appearance (as if I’d keep him away long) Thanks as always for being the best fans, and if you want to be tagged or I forgot you, please remind me!

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Word Count: 1667

Warnings: Ivar being a little sh*t

Under the cover of the stars, Ubbe had moved you through the night. Hvitserk had gone on ahead to make sure their trail was clear. They decided on an abandoned house, far from the church where Ivar and the majority of their army were making camp. Besides a few stray drunken warriors that Hvitserk was able to distract, they were able to settle in unnoticed. 

In their little corner of the town, it was quiet, making it easier to forget the conquering of the day. As Ubbe studied the nun, he wondered what you were thinking. You wouldn't look at him now. Perhaps it made ignoring your situation simpler if you could pretend he wasn't there. He wanted to tell you to rest, that no harm would come to you tonight, but the words wouldn't come. Doubtful you would take to their meaning if they did.

Sleep was something his own body was craving. Often he could stay awake through the night with little to no rest, but after fighting a battle his body was sapped of most of its strength. Ubbe didn't trust you not to run the moment his eyes shut, but he didn't want to put you in fetters either.

He let out a sigh as he dropped himself in front of the door. The nun noticed this and you cast your head down in despair. He ignored you as a sudden longing for home hit him, to be back with Margrethe. Things were simple in Kattegat, even if it was no longer their mother on the throne. These Christians complicated everything, guided by their holy book and God. Would they ever be able to live alongside in peace, or was their father's hope of new farmland a farfetched dream? No matter how dismal things seemed, he knew he couldn't give up. He might have failed once when Ragnar approached him to go to England, but so long as he drew breath, Ubbe would see his vision through. 

ooOOoo

When he fell asleep, it was with thoughts of his people prospering in green fields. Margrethe was at his side, and two fair-haired children played at her skirts. The wind was warm on his face, free of frost and rain, and the birds sang sweet songs that were free of the harsh raven's call. It was blissful. 

Imagine his disappointment when he awoke at dawn to the stale air of the English abode. A stream of sunlight came in through a crack in the wood. Ubbe squinted from the brightness as he gathered a look around the home. The nun wasn't where he left you, and he bolted up to his feet. There were only so many places where you could have hidden, and after he'd checked every spot, it occurred to him that you had squeezed through the small frame of the window. A piece of your white cloth had caught on the uneven wood, stained red from blood.

Ubbe had seen enough dying men to know you hadn't gravely injured yourself, but he worried just the same. You had abandoned your own well being to escape him. Some of the Christians deserved to feel this fear of his people, but not you. When he had spotted you in that alcove, he knew you were innocent. 

He made his way out of the home, and towards the church, not knowing if he was searching for you or returning to his duties. If he found you again he would keep you safe as his thrall, but he had no way of knowing if someone else had gotten to you first.

It was with dread and relief that he came upon the church. Some had already started fires to cook, and there was much talk about nothing in particular. Ubbe was greeted by many of the faces he passed, and one shieldmaiden informed him that Ivar was looking for him. He was in no hurry to find his youngest sibling, but getting the inevitable over with seemed better than avoidance. Taking the steps two at a time, he climbed up to the double doors.

Their most important and battle-hardened warriors lined the tables, and at the head of the room was Ivar, an ill-favored look in his eyes.

"Brother," He greeted with his arms spread wide. "Where have you been hiding? We thought you'd swam home."

Ubbe sighed under his breath as he began to approach. Ivar was smiling, as he always did these days. He remembered how miserable his little brother used to look dragging himself around Kattegat unless he was with their mother. But even with this new grin, Ubbe thought he looked devoid of joy. There was something else about the look that spoke of unpleasant thoughts, not true happiness.

"Not without my share of the raid," said Ubbe. He spotted Hvitserk down the right from Ivar, who appeared fixated on his drinking horn.

"Right, I hear talk that wives are expensive," Ivar said, and Ubbe was sure there was a jab meant for Margrethe in there. "I myself have already found my share."

Ivar waved for the attention of one of the warriors. This worried Ubbe. Some of them appeared to be acting as his personal guard now, and this appeared to be the start of a greater divide amongst the men. The warrior pulled on a length of rope and Ubbe felt a chill in his spine, like a deep breath before a storm of Thor's. Tied to the bound wrists at the end of the rope was the nun. You cut a sad figure, no better than a flower that had been trampled in a field.

"She might not be worth her weight in gold and silver, but she'll have her uses," said Ivar, taking a measured look at the nun who refused to return his stare.

"To what purpose, brother?" Ubbe tried to speak evenly, not letting on that he held any stock in your treatment.

"I'm a helpless cripple," Ivar smirked, a far cry from helpless. "I need someone at my beck and call to aid in more...menial tasks. Like Margrethe does for you."

Ubbe gritted his teeth. "Margrethe is no longer a thrall, she is my wife."

"Of course. I myself am not looking for a wife, but I do need a thrall." Ivar paused, once again his eyes flitting over you. "She must be clever to have hidden away this long. They found her trying to escape the city in the night."

"Really," Ubbe said, playing along. 

Ivar heaved himself up to a stand on his crutches, and his approach was enough to get you to look up. He stopped just before you, looking down at your white-clothed figure.

"What's your name, Christian?" 

You seemed surprised to hear your own language come from one such as Ivar, but you did not falter. "I am Sister Mary Catharine."

Ivar sounded a malicious little laugh as he turned to Ubbe. "She'll need a new name."

"I'm happy for you, brother. She should be of aid to you."

"I know. What could she have done for you when you shout foreign words in her face?"

So he had known. Ubbe didn't let himself feel surprised by that revelation. Ivar was always steps ahead even if he had to limp to get there. When he refused to say anything more, Ivar continued his gloating. 

"She might not be a great beauty like Margrethe, but she will obey. I like a thrall who stays put." He shifted with an unsteady step and started his way back to the table. No one dared to offer help as he staggered. "Take her to my room, and get her a change of clothes. I don't want her wearing that Christian frock."

Ubbe watched as they dragged the helpless woman away, but you never sought him out in the crowd. All of his reassuring the previous night had been for naught. You did not think of him as an ally, but he would try to help if Ivar got carried away with his cruelty. 

It seemed his little brother already had the ears of the warriors around him, so Ubbe turned and began to leave the church in search of food. He didn't get far when Hvitserk followed after him. 

"Wait a moment," He huffed, catching his breath. "I'm sure she'll be fine, Ubbe. I don't think Ivar will break her so easily."

Ubbe's brows furrowed in thought. "But how did they find her so quickly? Even though she snuck out of the home we hid in, it was a good deal away from the church. No one was looking for her."

Hvitserk hesitated. "I told Ivar about her."

"You told him?" Ubbe's gaze steeled with anger, and he took a threatening step towards Hvitserk. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I need you to be on my side against Ivar. You've seen how he is now, practically leading the army. He doesn't think we're needed here. If you were off protecting that nun, I'd have no chance. I'm not smart like Ivar, and I'm not as strong as you."

Ubbe took in the guilt that Hvitserk was displaying, and clasped him on the shoulder with a firm grasp. "I wouldn't leave you alone, brother."

"Promise?" Hvitserk asked, meeting his eyes. 

Ubbe was suddenly reminded of the two kids they had been, lost on the frozen lake. He nodded.

"Then I'll make sure to keep an eye on the Christian as well. It's the least I can do for putting her with Ivar," said Hvitserk. "But I think she'll be alright. Ivar has always wanted what we've had. This time he'll have something first."

"You don't give yourself enough credit," said Ubbe, smirking when he saw Hvitserk's confusion. "You say you aren't the smartest, but what you've just done is as devious a scheme as Ivar could come up with."

Hvitserk breathed a laugh. "Let's hope the good Sister can survive our boneless brother."

@pomegranates-and-blood

@siren-queen03

@peachyboneless

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@soleil-dor

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@strangunddurm

[random-imagines-blog]

He Will Love You {Dev Patel x Female!Reader}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2647 Summary: Even when things are rough, you know you can always count on him.

When Dev first walked into your shop, you were, admittedly, a little star-struck. He was with his mother, and was picking up a custom made gift for her. You weren’t actually the one to do the transaction, but your boss needed to have a couple of words with the mother to make sure that it was exactly what she had wanted. He told you that this meeting may take a little while, and to fetch Dev, who had accompanied her, a glass of wine while waiting for it to be finished. He and the woman went to the back to look at the jewels that were going into the bracelet, making sure that she knew they were up to quality, while you were set to entertain one of the handsomest men alive.

“Do you prefer red or white?” You asked, opening up the wine cooler where your boss kept the expensive wine for the more distinguished guest. That would certainly apply to Dev, you thought. Even just standing there in a grey sweater and jeans, a red ballcap covering his long hair, he looked like he just stepped out of a movie. Be cool, you reminded yourself. Be cool.

“Red,” He said. You nodded, uncorked the bottle in front of him, and poured it into a waiting glass. You didn’t expect to have to play bartender at a jewelry store, but this was a very upscale place. You handed it over with a smile, and he took it, his fingers just touching yours. “I’m Dev,” He introduced, taking the glass with one hand, and held the other one out. You took it, shaking it politely.

“Y/N - nice to meet you,” You said, the warmth of his hand contrasting with the damp coolness of Autumn in England. “I just have to say, I’m a bit of a fan.”

“Oh, thank you,” He said graciously, and took a sip of the wine. “Aren’t you going to have any?”

“I’m working,” You said, cheeks going a little pink as you had to remind yourself that yes, you were on the job. You had to be professional. Going all fan mode wasn’t what you were hired for. “I took a peek at what the boss was working on for your mother - it’s beautiful, I’m sure she’s loving it.”

“Good, I wanted it to be special,” Dev nodded.

“Oh, it is,” You nodded. The room fell into a comfortable silence as Dev walked around, taking a look in the different display cases. The store usually catered to custom-made jewelery, but there were some pieces that were a little on the generic side. He asked you about a couple of items, and you gave him all of the information that he could want. Even going as far as to bring a few things out so he could take a closer look at them.

It felt like only a moment had passed but it was at least fifteen before Dev’s mother, and your boss, came out from the back of the store. The woman was absolutely glowing. She rushed to her son to show him the creation that was now sitting on her wrist. “It’s beautiful,” Dev said, setting down the now-empty wine glass. You took it quickly, running it to the break room so that you could wash it. You did so quickly, then went back to your post, expecting to find the actor and his mother to have left but to your surprise, they were still there. Your boss had disappeared, probably to work on more custom-work, so it was just the three of you.

“Is everything okay?” You asked, cheerfully, going back behind the counter. The woman nodded, still admiring the bracelet on her wrist. You turned to look at Dev now, who you saw was smiling at you, with that hundred watt smile. “Dev?” You ventured, feeling a little uncomfortable using his first name.

“Rain check on the wine?” He asked, raising one of his black eyebrows. “Say - tomorrow night?”

“Oh, umm...”  You said, startled by these developments. Taking a deep breath, you nodded, graciously accepting his invitation.

-

When you came to, you found yourself staring up at the black interior of a car. The little light was on, which usually signaled that there was an open door. But there was none of the familiar beeping. Instead, there was some classical music coming from speakers around you. You blinked your eyes, trying to figure out where you were, since this wasn’t your car.

“Can you turn off the music, please?” You asked, since the sound of it was making your head start to pound. It instantly was turned off, and you were greeted to the sight of Dev in the front seat of the car. You were lying in the back, feeling a little dizzy. It all started to come back to you. You were walking down the street with him, heading to lunch after a stroll around the park, when suddenly you stopped remembering what had happened.

“Are you okay?” Dev asked, looking at you concerned. You held your head, trying to figure out why you had passed out. “You’re in my car, you’re alright. You er - you passed out while we were walking to the restaurant.”

“Oh,” You said, scrunching your eyebrows together. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He said, with a little laugh. “You’re the one who passes out and yet you’re sorry?” He reached to the back and took hold of one of your hands, giving it a squeeze. “There was a nurse in the park. She said your pulse was strong but you should lay down until you feel a little better, and get you something to eat.”

“I did skip breakfast,” You admitted. You were so excited for this date that the thought of eating before it hadn’t even occurred to you. Your second date with Dev, and you were embarrassing yourself already. He tutted at you, shaking his head, and you felt his disappointment.

“How do you feel now? Well enough to walk?” He questioned. You slowly sat up, hand to your forehead to block the sun from getting too much into your eyes. He had tinted windows which helped a lot. You steadied yourself and then nodded slowly as the dizziness started to dissipate. “There’s a restaurant right across the street, let’s go there.”

He got out of the car first, then came around and opened the door for you. He took your hand and helped you to get out of the car, standing tall in the sunlight once more. He even closed the door behind you, still taking hold of your hand. He listed some things that the nurse had said would be good for your blood sugar - and you were more than flattered that he had listened enough to take note of it all.

-

It was that first restaurant that you went to that became yours and Dev’s place. The food wasn’t even that good, and the waitstaff only paid special attention to him due to his celebrity status but it was still your place. For more special occasions, you two went to better places, but for things like breaking news, or just wanting to get out of the house, this was it. And it was for the former reason that you were here today.

You got there first, requesting your usual table which was towards the kitchen of the restaurant, far from where people looking through the windows could see you. You ordered a glass of water rather than your accustomed glass of wine, the drink that brought you and Dev together.

His career had really been taking off in the past year. He’d been nominated, and had won, quite a few awards and now was being quite sought after. He’d been to an audition that very morning while you had been to an important Doctors appointment. He had wanted to go with you but you convinced him that there was likely to be many other appointments in the future, and he only had this one shot for a role that he loved. Of course, at the time, you had expected it to be good news.

He came in a few minutes late, apologizing profusely as he took his seat across from you. His hair was in his face, his forehead sweaty. It almost looked like he had run here - and since he had taken the metro to the interview, it was very likely that he had. He still managed to look so damn sexy while flustered. “So - what did the Doctor say?”

The expectant look on his face was almost too much to bear. You had gone to the Doctor with the hopes of finding out that you were pregnant. You and Dev had been trying since you got married, but things haven’t always been smooth sailing. It didn’t make much sense at first, since he had a high sperm count, and you thought the problem must have been with you. But when you missed your last period, and you’ve been feeling more worn down than usual, you made an appointment for a pregnancy test rather than a fertility one.

You took hold of his hand. You were about to tell him the results but the waitress came around and asked what Dev wanted to drink. He looked at the water that you had, and you realized he thought that because you had that rather than wine, that you were expecting. He grinned and loudly announced, “A glass of your finest red, no matter how expensive it is!”

The waitress walked away and you squeezed his hand. “Dev, baby, I need you to relax for a second and not interrupt me because what I have to say is very important.”

He  nodded, once more grinning, still expecting the good news. It hurt more to tell him the news than it had getting the news from the Doctor in the first place. But he would be quiet and listen, which was all that you could ask for at this point. You took a deep breath, took a sip of your water, and then started.

“I’m not pregnant,” You said, first and foremost, getting that out of the way. The smile was wiped from his face then, as he processed that information, and what it could possibly mean. However, you asked him not to interrupt and he obliged that, squeezing your hand tightly. You continued. “However, the Doctor was still worried so we ran some tests. Including a skin biopsy.” You showed him a bandaid that was on your upper arm, hidden by your sleeve. “And though the results aren’t in yet, he thinks it’s highly likely that I have celiac disease.”

Just as years ago, Dev had memorized a list of foods that you should eat to help you when you had passed out, you recited a list of things that you had been told about Celiac Disease. “But the worst part is-” You said, after telling him that since you caught it early, it may be manageable. “The worst part is that it may make me infertile.”

He let go of your hand, only to caress your cheek as you felt the weight press down on you. You felt your eyes start to fill with tears as something you’ve always wanted felt like it was beyond your grasp. He wiped away your tears with his thumb. “We’ll get through this together. As long as it’s us, does it matter if our kids are biological?”

-

Dev read the labels on every bit of food that he purchased from now on, making sure that it was something that you could safely eat. You had just remembered what was okay and what was not, tossing it in the cart, but Dev always had to take two minutes to make sure. He still worked on the baby room that you had started in the hopes of filling it one day. He moved the stuffed animals around and put up cute paintings that he had found during his travels around the world for work. Nothing really changed, except for the fact that now, you were looking for a child to adopt, someone to fill your world with even more joy.

You were sitting on the couch one night, feeling tired as you usually did these daze, watching a movie with Dev when his phone rang. You paused the movie using the remote and looked at Dev with hopeful eyes. This was hopefully one of two calls. It could be either his agent saying that he had gotten the role that he had been really wanting. You would be extremely happy for him if it was, though it meant that he would be flying out for a couple of months. Or, and you hoped it was this one, it was a call from the family lawyer that you had hired to help you look into adoption.

He answered it without hesitation, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in. “Hello?” You could hear a voice on the other line, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. Dev pulled the phone away from his face and pressed the speaker button. “We’re both here,” He said, which made your heart race. There was no reason he would do that if it was just his agent.

“Hello!” The lawyer said, in her usual friendly tone. She was unusually upbeat for a lawyer, and that’s why you liked her. She seemed to genuinely enjoy doing what she did. Putting families together. It was a loyal job. “I just wanted to let you both know that we’ve put in your application and we’ve already found a child that we think would be just perfect for the two of you!”

You squealed with happiness and hugged Dev close to you. You felt energetic and hopeful for the first time in months. “That’s amazing!” You said, kissing him on the cheek. You wanted to celebrate already, though you haven’t even met the kid.

The lawyer filled you both in on the details. It was an eight month old girl, born to teenage parents who tried but just could not make the relationship, the child and school work. She could be brought over next week for a trial period, and if it all seemed to work out, you could adopt. You thanked the lawyer profusely, telling her how much this all meant to you and how you were positive that this was going to be life-changing, not just for you but for the baby girl.

“I have another call to make,” Dev said as soon as they hung up the phone.

“We have several!” You said, starting to list off people. “Your parents, my parents, our friends-”

“My agent,” Dev finished. “I’m going to tell him not to worry about the role. We’re going to be parents, I want to be here.”

“Are you sure?” You said, knowing how much this had meant to him. He had been bothering his agent for months to even get him in to auditions. He nodded though, a smile coming over his face as it all began to really sink in.

“We’re going to be parents!” He repeated, this time louder, and much happier.

Throughout everything, he loved you. Like he said in the vows, through sickness and in health. But he had been taking care of you long before you ever made it to the altar. And now, it looked like you were both going to get your happily ever after, after all.

[allthingshetalia]

Hey! Love your blog 💕 I seen the crush rejecting the allies and axis because they didn’t think they weren’t good enough for the boys. Can we have a reverse of that? Like if the axis and allies rejected someone because they felt like they weren’t good enough for that person? Thank you dear! 🤗 😘

💕Because this is so long, I’ll do the Axis at a different time💕

America

He felt sick.

He watched as you quickly replaced him as your best friend, in favor of hanging out with Gilbert. (Sorry if you don’t like Gil). He has suffered loss before- but this loss twisted his heart in the most painful of ways.

You had confessed your feelings for him and it wa the happiest day of his long life, yet he knew deep down he wasn’t good enough for you. And the fact that you already moved on was proof of that. People seemed to line up at the door to become someone to you, whether it be a friend or lover, and he had been highest on the totem pole, until he lost his spot. The moment plagued his mind constantly. How shyly you mumbled out your feelings to him. And how despite the pure excitement and joy he felt deep in his chest, he shook his head cutting off your confession. You didn’t give him a chance to explain why he ‘didn’t return’ your feelings. You felt embarrassed and heartbroken so you quickly fled the scene.

If you had given him a a chance to explain you would find out that he despised himself most days. You would figure out that he adored you more than the world, but he didn’t want to drag you down with him. He knew in his heart that you two would meet up again soon and he would explain.

England

You shifted as you felt a pair of emerald eyes staring at you from across the room. You tried to carry on the coversation you were having with Japan, but out of the corner of your eye all you could notice was Arthur standing there staring at you.

“I think you should stop avoiding him.” Kiku whispered. He too noticed the Brit and being extremely close to you, when the whole situation went down he was the one you told. The small Asian nation calmed you down quickly and you both spent the last month over at his house up in the mountains of Japan, doing everything to get your mind off the situation. During that time Arthur had called you non stop, until you blocked his number. You felt nauseous when you did it, but you felt horribly embarrassed and heartbroken when he rejected you, that you couldn’t bare a reminder of what had happened.

“I’m not ready.” You mumbled. Your throat felt tight and you just wanted to go back to your hotel room and curl up under the covers.

“It’s a hard thing to do y/n, but you need to do it.” Kiku whispered assuringly.

“Not Today.” You begged. Your hand darted out and you gripped Kiku hand, to get your point across. Little did you know that action would cause a flare of anger and betrayal through the Brit across the room. The Japanese man sighed and tugged you out of the meeting room to go back to the hotels.

✨time skip✨

Loud banging against the door woke you up from your nap. You did as you told yourself you would. As soon as you got to your hotel you changed, flung yourself under the covers and put on a random channel on the TV as background noise. You wanted to ignore the knocking but after it continued non-stop you trudged out of bed. You flung the door open ready to glare at whoever it was but you were quickly pushed aside as a distraught Brit let himself into your room.

“What the hell are you doing?” You screeched. He didn’t pay any attention and sat down on your bed. You watched nervously as he opened and closed his mouth trying to find the words it say. His eyes were red and he had a few blotches in his cheeks. He was dressed in some Pyjama pants and a white T-Shirt.

“Are you dating Kiku?” He whispered. You looked at him in shock for a moment, but quickly shook your head. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Can you go now?” You snapped. Nodding your head towards the door. Arthur looked at you with teary eyes, because of your coldness.

“I made a mistake.” He rubbed his temples roughly. “I’m not good enough for you. That’s why I rejected you, Love.” He looked up at you with awaiting eyes. A loud mocking laugh left your throat.

“Ya right. You know what I think? I think you saw me with Japan and got jealous. You have always been greedy, especially when it comes to other countries.” You growled. A tear escaped his eyes and you felt a twinge of guilt run through your veins. He closed his eyes tightly.

“Is that really what you think of me? We both know I had nothing to do with that. A country can only do so much when it comes to the government. I did get jealous. I’ll admit that, I always get jealous when you favor someone over me.” You opened your mouth to interject but he held his hand up to stop you. “I have always adored you. You should know that.”

“I thought I did, until you shot me down.” You interrupted.

“I do. It is very rare that we get to find something that we love and don’t have to let go. And you’re that something for me.” You walked over to him and sat down next to him on the bed. “I rejected you because you deserve better than me. You really do. I can be selfish, rude, stubborn and a total prick.” You both chuckled a little.

“You’re not as bad as you think you are.” You smiled, nudging him with your elbow. You rested your head against his shoulder and he gripped your hand.

“I would love it if you could give me a second chance.” He murmured kissing the top of your head.

France

The Frenchman watched as the ceiling fanned twirled around, making the dark room cold. He had yet to move from his spot except to use the bathroom and grab a bottle of wine.

His heart had a permanent ache in it. The flashes of your dejected face and the tears that welled up in your eyes as you quickly ran away from him. His fingers twitched to feel your skin. To wipe away the tears he had caused. His lips burned with the desire to kiss your forehead and tell you just how much you meant to him. You meant everything to him. Your smile turned his body into mush. And every time your skin skimmed against his a shockwave ran through him. He loved to hear you talk, and watched your eyes light up when you talked about something you loved. He was utterly obsessed with you. And he wasn’t use to this feeling. Someone just completely controlling all of your senses even when they weren’t near you.

Yes he has cared for many woman in his life but this was something new. And he ruined it. And not for the reason you probably thought. He didn’t have commitment issues as many people thought. He would actually love to have someone hold him down- be a constant in his life. It wasn’t because he was a flirt. Yes he did enjoy flirting, but mostly because it made someone else feel good about themselves, which is hard to do. It’s wasn’t because you weren’t good enough for him- infact it was the opposite.

He wasn’t good enough for you. And that was as clear as day. And the fact that he rejected such a perfect angel, proved his theory further. You had been ignoring him for the past two months. He wasn’t too worried in the beginning. He immediately regretted what he had done and decided to wait a little until your feelings of distaste for him to die down before he confessed his reasons for rejection. After the first two weeks was when he really began to worry. You never answered him. His texts, his calls, even when he showed up at your house. At meetings you completely avoided him.

He didn’t have a chance to tell you how he actually felt. He wrote you letters explaining the situation. He left hundreds of voicemails explaining and begging. And you didn’t anwser any of them. He would continue, until you would though, that he knew of.

His eyes fluttered closed and he was just about to fall into a dreamland where you wanted to be near him again, when his phone vibrated on the nightstand next to him. He grabbed it and he quickly became wide awake when he saw your profile picture lighting up his screen. He quickly answered it.

“Hello!?” He asked. He wondered if you had accidentally called him.

“Are you free?” Your voice was soft and you probably forgot about the time difference between him and you. His heart jumped in his chest and his muscles relaxed just hearing the sound of your voice.

“Of course, my rose.” He breathed.

“I’m outside your house.”

Now was his chance.

Russia

“You don’t get to ignore me like this Sunflower.” The Russian growled.

“I can do whatever I want! You were the one who rejected me.” You growled back. Your eyes glared into his violet ones.

“I told you why.” He reminded. “I’m doing it for your own good. You don’t need to be associated with me in that way. It’s already bad enough. Some countries will barely talk to you because of me. Our closeness is just making things bad.” His hand cupped your chin, making sure you maintained eye contact.

“Well me ignoring you should solve the problem right?” You smirked, shaking his hand off. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

“This didn’t just hurt you. It hurt me just as much, if not more- especially now when you will barely talk to me.” He flopped down on the big arm chair in his office.

“Well what do you expect? I love you and I want to be with you. And you want to be with me too! Who cares what they think? Who cares what anyone thinks?” You shouted. A hot tear slid down your cheek and you were quickly pulled to the large Russian so your were standing between his knees. His large thumbs removed the tears from your face and he rested his forehead against yours.

“I don’t want you to end up hating me.” He words made more tears fall from your face.

“I could never hate you!” You assured. He looked at you with soft eyes, and he tucked you under his chin.

“If you are sure this is what you really want. You’re the one person I can’t let hate me.” He mumbled.

China

He sighed as he watched birds fly from one tree to another. The steady stream in his back yard flowed heavily, and fish swam and splashed around.

He remembered when you would sit next to him and throw fish food into the pond and giggle when they would swam to the surface. Everything reminded him of you. And it was horrible, but yet it offered him some comfort. It was horrible because you were no longer by his side, but it was comforting because his memory was so engraved with you, that he could almost convince himself you were next to him.

He didn’t know why he rejected you. Maybe it was because he has been feeling horrible about himself lately. I mean it’s not easy being a country that is the butt of many jokes. But he knew deep down it was the way you looked at him. You looked up at him with such love and admiration. He didn’t deserve that. Especially not from someone like you. He did miss you dearly. He missed laughing and talking. You were is best friend- his only true best friend. After he rejected you, you refused to talk to him, driving the knife deeper into his heart.

He soothed himself with the thought that he would one day, get you back. He could understand if time made your feelings wear off. He just needed you back.

Canada

“How could you ever think that?!” You shouted. You pushed the Canadian roughly, causing him to take a few steps back.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!” He growled. His hands gripped yours and he tugged you against his chest. “I’m sorry.” He murmured. You rested your head against his chest listening to his rapid heartbeat.

“You broke my heart you know.” You choked. You felt him tense and he pulled away cupping your face in his hands. Tears of his own fell from his eyes.

“I know and I’m sorry.” He was sincere. You knew that. But you were still livid at him. You finally gained the courage to open up to him only for him to immediately shoot you down. After ignoring him, he almos broke into your house just to get you to talk to him. You shrugged in response and pulled your face away from his hands. “Don’t be this way, please.” He begged.

“Don’t be WHAT WAY? HURT? MAD? UPSET?” You screeched. “That was a dick move! And now you come here, saying you didn’t mean it and you expect me to just throw myself at you and be a happy couple?” You yelled. You breathing came out in heavy pants and you felt horribly weak. You flopped down on your couch and watched as the fan swirled around.

“I didn’t come here to be a couple. Do I want to be, yes I do. Do I expect it, no.” He sat down on the coffee table next to you. “I just needed you to know that I love you. I know that was a horrible thing to do and I never intended to hurt you.” He sighed. He reached out and brushed some hair away from your face. You rubbed your face harshly, groaning in annoyance.

“Why did you have to do that though?” You sighed.

“You deserve better.” He had told you that multiple times in the past hour.

“What makes me so special and you so horrible?” You asked. “I’m just and average human beings and you’re literally one of the most genuine, kindest, and attractive people ever.” You pressed. The Canadian chuckled at you.

“I guess we both have messed up perceptions of ourselfs, because you are way more than just average.”

[thatsamericano]

Roses, Balloons, Chocolates, Wine, and a Custom Mix CD

Pairings/Characters: America/Romano. Background Gerita, appearances from Belgium and England.

Ratings: Teen, but only for cursing. Extremely fluffy with no warnings to speak of.

Summary: For Romano, Valentine’s Day is just another reminder that he’s alone and unloved. He doesn’t care that he has to spend time at a world meeting. But when a “secret admirer” surprises him with extravagant gifts they left at the chair he’d been using for the past few days, Romano realizes that he wasn’t as unloved as he had thought.

Word Count: 1987

Notes: Written for Day 7 of @hetaliancupid-hetaliaevent.

Veneziano was pouting as he walked towards the conference room hand in hand with his boyfriend. His older brother trailing behind them and scowling. “England is so un-romantic,” Feli complained. “I can’t believe he’d schedule a meeting on Valentine’s Day of all days!”

Germany frowned thoughtfully. “Normally I would argue that these meetings are important for international cooperation on world issues affecting us all. But I was hoping to spend more time with you today, schatz.”

Romano rolled his eyes. “Well, some of us are perpetually single and don’t give a shit.” Savino didn’t hate the concept of Valentine’s Day, a special occasion to spend time with a significant other and celebrate the love you feel towards each other. But since he didn’t actually have a significant other and was forced to spend way too much time around Feli and his macho potato, Savino wasn’t a huge fan of the holiday. For him it was just another reminder that he was alone and unloved.

“Aww, cheer up, fratello! I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”

Savino scoffed. “Unlikely.” Little did Feliciano know, but Romano actually had found someone he wanted to be with. But America hadn’t been able to pick up on the many and increasingly obvious hints he had dropped over the years, so Savino was beginning to lose hope. Alfred wasn’t stupid, and Romano didn’t think he was that oblivious. Maybe he was ignoring Savino’s feelings because he felt uncomfortable rejecting him outright. That sounded exactly like something that idiota would do.

Germany pushed open the doors to the conference room where several nations were already milling around, speaking to each other in small groups. (They had left a bit later than usual, since Romano was dragging his feet and took a while to get ready.) The meeting room looked just like it had for the past few days, except for Romano’s chair, which was festooned with too many red, white, and pink heart-shaped balloons for him to consider counting. A crystal vase filled with red roses had been placed on the table where he would usually take notes, along with a giant heart-shaped box of what Romano could only assume was chocolates.

“What the fuck?” Savino muttered to himself.

Feliciano turned to him with a smug grin. “See, I told you, Savi! I knew you’d find someone.”

“It’s probably just a dumb prank.” Romano wouldn’t put it past someone to mess with him that way, wanting to see him get excited just so they could laugh at him later. But he could feel his face heating up as he pushed past Feli and his boyfriend and rushed over to the seat he’d been using for the past several days.

Romano’s eyes widened when he got close enough to see the box and see that it wasn’t just chocolates, but Godivas. If this was a prank, it was a particularly expensive and stupid one. He checked the small card stuck among the roses, but that didn’t provide a clue. It only said that it was “To Savino, from your secret admirer.” The person who’d written the note had drawn a heart with a cartoon arrow pointed through it underneath their message. Savino sensed that the handwriting was familiar, but he couldn’t recognize it instantly.

Romano frowned. “Ugh. I wonder why they didn’t tell me who they are.”

Romano sensed someone walking closer to him, and when he glanced over, it turned out to be Belgium. She had a small, inscrutable smile on her face as she delicately touched one of the roses with her fingertip. “I think they were nervous. It can be hard to tell someone you like them, especially if you don’t know how they feel about you.”

Wait, wasn’t Godiva a Belgian brand? Was Belgium his secret admirer? Savino’s eyes widened in alarm. He tried to respond, but he was struggling for words.

“Emma, I’m flattered. I’m really, really flattered, and I know I used to have a crush on you when I was a little kid, but—”

Emma laughed. “Relax, silly. It wasn’t me. But your secret admirer called me a few days ago to make sure Godiva was a brand you’d like. They were so anxious, and they really wanted to make you happy. It was adorable.”

“So you know who they are? Aren’t you going to tell me?”

Belgium smirked at him. “That would kind of ruin the whole secret admirer thing, now wouldn’t it?”

Romano glared at his old friend, but it had no effect on Belgium. She giggled as she walked away to go speak to her brothers, and Romano glanced around the conference room to see who his secret admirer might be. It clearly wasn’t Austria, who was kissing Hungary on the cheek. Savino’s heart lodged in his throat when he saw America from across the room. Alfred was smiling warmly as he handed over a black and white cat plushie to Japan. He knew the gesture probably wasn’t romantic, since Alfred liked to give his friends Valentine’s Day presents too. He had given Savino several stuffed animals over the years, and they usually sat on his headboard unless Romano was feeling particularly lonely, in which case he might hold one as he slept. But just the thought of America choosing Kiku over him hurt far more than it should have.

America looked up suddenly, and he gave Romano one of those huge, obnoxious grins that could make the sun look dim and dreary by comparison. Savino blushed and fought the impulse to smile back at him, but his lips were twitching at the corners. He forced himself to glance away, hoping against hope that Alfred had only met his eyes coincidentally and hadn’t noticed that Savino had been staring at him like a goddamn moron.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see America exchanging a quick word with Japan, who nodded in understanding. America zoomed around the table towards him so quickly that he didn’t even notice he’d bumped into Norway, who was glaring at America viciously after the unintentional slight. Hopefully Norway wouldn’t curse America with some weird troll later.

Alfred was flushed by the time he skittered to a stop in front of Romano. He was carefully holding a wine bottle with a red ribbon tied around the neck. “Hi, Vinny.”

Savino chuckled. “Hey, Fredo. Why the fuck did you run over towards me?”

“I wanted to give you your Valentine’s Day present before the meeting started.” America passed the bottle over to Romano. “I… uh, know you’re really into wine, but I don’t know much about it, so I asked the Secret Service guys I’m friends with, and apparently one of them is married to this gal whose family owns a vineyard in Napa Valley. It’s not Italian, but he said this was a really good year, so hopefully you’ll think it’s good enough.”

“That’s… that’s actually really thoughtful of you, bastard. Thank you.” Romano carefully set the wine bottle down next to the vase of red roses and turned back to face America.

America ran his hand over his hair, which was incredibly distracting because of how golden it looked, even under the greenish overhead lighting that wasn’t flattering to anyone in general. “I, um, also made you something.” He pulled a clear CD case out of his jacket pocket. Instead of handing it over right away, like he had with the wine bottle, Alfred took a deep, shuddering breath. He seemed nervous, but Savino tried not to get his hopes up. “It’s just some songs that reminded me of you. If you don’t like it, you can throw it away, I guess.”

Alfred finally held out the CD towards him, and Savino took it. He read the inscription Alfred had written in marker. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Savino! Love, Alfred.” It was a fairly normal inscription, but then a couple seconds later, Savino realized that Alfred’s handwriting perfectly matched the note from his secret admirer. He’d even drawn a heart with an arrow pointing through it.

Romano teared up. He was ecstatic, and he was in disbelief that his Alfredo, the friend he’d been pining over for ages, was actually his secret admirer. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”

Alfred blinked at him, clearly confused by his gratitude. “It’s just a CD, dude. Most of the songs aren’t even in Italian. And it didn’t cost me any money to make.”

“I didn’t mean the CD! I meant everything. You got me wine and roses, and a giant box of Godivas! You tied so many balloons to my chair that I’m surprised it hasn’t floated up to the ceiling by now!”

“That would take a lot more balloons. These chairs are really heavy. Do you think I should have gotten more balloons?”

Savino shook his head. “Only you could do all this and worry that it still wasn’t enough. I love you so much, Alfredo.”

“You… you love me? Like as a friend? Because if so, you’re gonna feel really awkward if you listen to that CD.” Alfred glanced away, chuckling nervously. “I put a lot of cheesy romantic ballads on there.”

Savino yanked Alfred down by his shirt collar and planted a firm kiss on his lips. America barely had a chance to respond before Romano pulled away and looked straight into his eyes.

“I like cheesy romantic ballads, and I like you. And not just as a friend, idiota.”

Alfred gave him a goofy, lovestruck smile. “Awesome.”

Romano smirked and played with Alfred’s tie to tease him a little. “I didn’t get anything nearly as extravagant for you for Valentine’s Day, but maybe later we can go back to my hotel room and listen to that CD you gave me. I’ll make dinner for us. It can be our first date.”

Alfred tilted his head down playfully. “I love your food, Vinny. And I love you.”

“I know you do.”

They kissed again, and this time it was more passionate and emotional, but it didn’t get inappropriate for their very public setting. Before it could get inappropriate, someone cleared their throat loudly, which interrupted them.

England had an awkward, mildly irritated frown on his face. “If you two don’t mind, everyone else is ready to start the meeting now.”

Alfred giggled. “Sorry, Artie.” He didn’t sound sorry at all, and Romano couldn’t blame him. He hadn’t thought about the work they were supposed to do today ever since he had discovered the surprise his “secret admirer” had left for him.

Romano sat down in his chair, and America took the chair next to him, where Veneziano had been sitting for the past few days. When he looked across the table, Feliciano was in the seat Alfred had been using during the extended multi-day conference, taking up the place between Japan and Canada. He beamed and waved to them from across the table. Alfred waved back enthusiastically.

Savino turned to look at his Valentine. “You switched seats with my brother?”

“I kind of told him what I was planning yesterday and asked if I could sit next to you if things went well. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not. I’m glad I get to sit next to you.” Now Veneziano’s certainty and smugness earlier made sense. He had been so sure Savino would “find someone” because he knew Alfred had been planning to reveal his feelings today.

Alfred shifted closer so that they could hold hands under the table. England had started his opening presentation, but America wasn’t even feigning interest or pretending to take notes. “I’m glad I get to sit next to you too,” he whispered.

Savino ducked his head to hide the grin he couldn’t contain anymore and squeezed Alfred’s hand. His heart was beating too fast and he was too happy to pay attention to anything England might have been saying.