#I think I've used this eight times so far in the fic I'm writing

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[hogwartshotel]

One thing I've learned about my writing style is that if I don't know how to end a scene, I will just have a character say or think "fuck" and end it like that.

I mean...if it's not broken, don't fix it, right?

[lycheedr3ams]

Death's Angel

Part 8: On Angel Wings

royal!fem!reader x executioner!konig

Summary: It's 1554. You're one of the eight daughters of the Austrian royal family, and your parents do everything they can to ensure their kingdom is prosperous and peaceful. No royal court is complete without their hand-picked executioner, one who stands out against the sea of black, faceless bodies that make up the profession. It just so happens that your family's new executioner, one who has made a name for himself far and wide for his skill with the axe, has caught your eye and ruined you for good.

Warnings: MDNI! smut, mutual pining, forbidden love, death (konig is an executioner duh), mean sisters, mentions of medieval-type violence, overbearing parents, konig is brooding and a perv, some predator/prey dynamics, possessive!konig, maybe dark themes bc reader likes seeing him kill people and bc he's a perv?

Part 7

I can't thank you all enough for the support i've gotten on this fic! this fic is what made my blog big and i just can't believe it's been so well-received. don't worry, it's a happy ending!!! also I'm sorry this took so long...I hope you guys like the ending. I'm super nervous my writing quality on this story went down, but maybe I'm too critical of my work. in any case, I hope you guys enjoy!

.......

series inspired by the art below!

you weren't sure how much time passed when you woke up in a warm bed. you blinked open your eyes and rubbed the exhaustion out of them. you looked around the room, and noticed konig sitting right by your side.

"Engel?" he asked softly. you had never heard his voice so tender.

"what happened?" you asked. you tried to sit up, but were immediately struck with a sharp pain in your chest. konig gently pushed you back down on the bed.

"lay down, Engel. you are hurt. you need to rest."

you looked down at your chest, and realized that it was wrapped with bloodied bandages. your dress was nowhere to be seen, but the blanket covered your lower half.

"what happened? where are we?" you asked as you could feel panic rising.

"we are somewhere we will never be found by anyone who wishes to separate us," konig said quietly. "you..." he couldn't finish his sentence as he cleared his throat.

"i what?" you asked.

konig shook his head. "you protected me. it is not supposed to be that way. i am supposed to protect you, and i couldn't." konig's head hung low in shame, his eyes now completely obscured from you.

you suddenly remembered everything that had happened right up to when the sword fell. your heart raced.

"i...my body just acted on its own. it was like i didn't have control over myself. it just happened." you thought for a long moment, and it was silent. konig's head still hung low.

"i don't regret it, though," you said firmly. konig looked at you in confusion.

"i promised to protect you, and here you are, laying in a bed soaked in your own blood," he said quietly as his eyes glassed over.

you smiled. "it's okay. i would do it again if i had to. but where are we? what happened to the knights?"

konig was silent for a little while. you closed your eyes.

"we are in france now. a little countryside town. after the soldiers patched you up, they realized that you weren't lying. they agreed to pretend that it never happened. but they will be back in a week, to make sure this is what you really want." his voice was quiet as he spoke.

"so...my parents and siblings still think i've been kidnapped?"

konig nodded.

"no. they need to know that you are not in the wrong. they need to know that i chose this."

"i don't know if that's a good idea," konig said after a moment. "they will say I brainwashed you."

"i don't care what they will say. if they don't believe me, that's on them. i will have the soldiers take a letter to them once they go back, and i will never speak to them again," you decided.

konig stared at you for a long while. he gently took your hand and stroked it with his thumb.

"i am sorry things turned out this way," he whispered as he looked at your hand.

you shook your head. "i wouldn't have it any other way, konig. i'm with you, and we can have our own life here. what is this town like?"

konig still stroked your hand as he spoke. "there are lavender fields surrounding the town, and a small forest to the east. there is an empty plot of land where a house can be built. the people are kind, and it is quiet and peaceful."

you smiled. "it sounds perfect."

konig brought your hand up to his lips as he lifted his hood to kiss the back of your hand. "i will make it up to you."

"there is nothing to make up, konig," you assured him with a smile. "everything will be okay now."

konig shook his head. "i will give you the life you deserve, my princess. i will build a house for you, and you can have as many gardens and animals as you like. you will have the finest sheets once again, and you will never want for anything."

you smiled. "as long as i have you, i will never want."

...

several months later

You walk out of the cottage that Konig had built for you and him on this warm morning. the birds are chirping and a gentle breeze blows over the lavender fields to the right of your cottage. you smile to yourself as you breath in the scent of lavender, and hear your sheep, ducks, and goats already waking up for the day. your garden, fenced off with bushes and a trellis with roses, blooms brilliantly in the morning sun.

konig quietly comes up behind you and wraps his strong scarred arms around you. he nuzzles your head gently with his nose and smiles underneath his hood.

"good morning, my Engel," he whispers gently to you. he speaks those four words to you every single morning. some may regard it as just a morning custom, but you know that konig never wastes any of his words. those four words every day, reserved only for you.

"good morning, konig," you smile up at him and gently hold his arms as they're wrapped around your waist. your goats bleat a few times, and you and konig share a gentle laugh.

...

life has been peaceful ever since the hell you and konig had gone through. you sent the letter to your parents, telling them the truth about your relationship with konig: how you weren't brainwashed, you didn't like being a princess, and this was the life you chose for yourself. your parents begged you to come back, their handwriting betraying their nerves and worry. but you never wrote to them again.

konig built this cottage for you in no time, and you two built your life together in this small countryside town in France. you helped out at the local bakery most days, tended to your farm animals every morning, checked your garden several times a day. you cooked warm meals for konig, which he always ate gratefully.

konig was no longer an executioner. he decided to leave that part of him in the past for your sake to build a peaceful life with you. the strong, calloused hands that once gripped axes to chop people's heads off now gripped saws and hammers and other tools to build houses, make horse shoes, craft swords. konig never spoke about it, but the gentle look in his eyes that grew as he got accustomed to normal life was something you always noticed and loved.

you two make a modest living; no more silk and fine china, but you couldn't have cared less. living life every day, doing what you wanted, you forgot about the endless want that material possessions creates. for the first time in your life, you are happy. you no longer had to worry about perfectly adjusting your hair, tying your corset, or matching your dress to the occasion each day. your hair changed each day based on your mood, and your clothing was simple and comfortable. no one told you where you had to be or when, you no longer had to watch every word that was spoken. you are free.

...

you hand konig his lunch basket for the day with a sweet smile, packed with fruits and bread and some salted meat. he rubs your head affectionately and kisses your forehead through his hood.

"danke, Engel."

"have a good day," you smiled up at him as you hugged his muscular chest. you gently tap his chin over his hood, and he smiles at your little signal and presses a chaste, gentle kiss on your lips. you watch as he descends the porch and walks to town.

you weren't sure exactly where you and Konig's lives were going to lead, but among your farm animals and garden and cottage and his arms, none of that mattered. the only thing you cared about was living each day with konig, living a normal life. you taught him what it meant to live, to breathe, to create things that made life better rather than take it away.

and even though you are no longer a princess, you will always be his angel.

taglist: @kneelingshadowsalome, @plumdreadful, @dumb-dumb-idiot-girl, @elichisstuff, @konig-breedme, @tr4psta, @cutiecusp, @konigsleftkidney, @local-vampire-s1ut, @ihaveaproblematicbrain, @twice360noscope, @madzeesstuff, @crazy-phan-girl13, @babygirl-panda19, @warrior-of-justice, @eluffi, @mooniesthings, @elowynnlane, @zaxlrza, @red-bed-bug, @alexdoesntlikeyou, @helmipss, @11aplacesange11, @rouge-swears, @pasta-m1lk, @ghostinvenus

[kris-mage-fics]

Thanks for the tag @phenanthreneblue!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Eight 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 7,656. So far I've only published short little one-shots. 3. What fandoms do you write for? Shepherds of Haven, Scarlet Hollow, and Ebon Light. 4. Top five fics by kudos 1. Had it Been Anyone Else (Ebon Light, it's Haron angst hours lol, spoilers for the end of the game on Ernol's route) 2. A New Room (Ebon Light, Haron fluff, spoilers for the end of the game) 3. Fog (Scarlet Hollow, Tabitha angst, no real spoilers) 4. An Unlikely Engagement (Shepherds of Haven, Kyrahlise/Blade, very, very minor spoiler for Chapter 8) 5. The Best Proof of Love is Trust (Shepherds of Haven, spoilers for Chapter 3 which is in the public demo) It doesn't escape me that they are almost in publication order 5. Do you respond to comments? Always! Though sometimes it takes me a while to do so. I rarely get them so it isn't that hard to respond to them. 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Absolutely Had it Been Anyone Else! It's literally pure angst. Though when I write for Tabitha it always ends up angsty too, so Fog and The Secret of the Greenhouse aren't exactly sunshine and roses. 7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Some may disagree, but I think The Best Proof of Love is Trust has a very happy ending! 8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so far.

9. Do you write smut? No? Yes? I've written some, but haven't published any. Smut is hard for me to write because I visualize everything, and there's a lot to visualize in a smut scene compared to a scene without much action. So it's exhausting to write. Also I suspect it's harder to keep sustained enough interest to write a full scene because I'm on the asexual spectrum. It's not something I'm opposed to, it's just harder than other writing for me. That said, there is a sex scene I really want to write, but it probably won't be very sexy, lol! 10. Craziest crossover? Haven't written any. 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it would be foolish to say it'll never happen. ;) 14. All time favourite ship? I could make a tier list, but I don't have a favorite anymore than I have a favorite food or tea or board game, lol! 15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started a fic that's a newspaper article on Kyrahlise. It's written as a hit piece on the Hero of Haven, trying to imply she's actually a bad person. The reporter interviewed people in Ashtown who know her, but reading between the lines you figure out they didn't dig up anything and are just overly skeptical of a Diminished woman who quickly gained some fame and power. I planned to end it with a little segment from the perspective of someone Kyrah used to know, where they figure out she's now the Hero everyone won't shut up about. I still like the idea, I just doubt I'll ever finish it.

Also I started one where it's written like the reports from one of the people sent to spy on Blade. Thing is the spy knows Blade, so they see him falling for Kyrahlise and are like, "wtf?!? is she enchanting him? is he actually in love? omg he's so bad at this! wow, it looks like she actually likes him too!" Also they think Kyrah is super sus because a lot of the things she does don't make sense and aren't explained. (Full disclosure: this idea was heavily inspired by a conversation other people had on the ShoH patreon.) 16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and banter, always knowing where my characters are in a scene and what they are doing (the upside of the visualization thing), sweet/cute moments, and angst when I'm in the right mood. 17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing, lol! Editing, it's hard for me to let go of trying to be 'perfect'. I'll get really stuck on a sentence or paragraph and obsessively revise it even though it's fine, just because I think it can be better. I know it's not healthy or sustainable, and I'm working on it. (I can point to a particular sentence in a fic that I literally spent hours on!) Action! It's the same visualization problem I have with writing smut, it's a lot to keep in my head and it quickly wears me out. Getting the right voice for a lot of characters. My writing tends to be introspective and verbose, which doesn't work for everyone. So it's a struggle to find a balance between the character's voice and my natural writing style. 18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I think it's great, for other people to write! I'm pretty terrible at languages, and don't trust myself to get it right without consulting someone who knows that language. Given a lot of what I write for is fantasy with made up languages, that's not going to happen. 19. First fandom you wrote in? Ebon Light, in fact it's the reason I even tried writing in the first place! 20. Favorite fic you've written? I think it's a three way tie between: The Secret of the Greenhouse -- I think I did a good job getting some creepy vibes in such a short piece. It doesn't align with canon at all, but in my opinion it's my best Scarlet Hollow fic. The Best Proof of Love is Trust -- I feel like I succeeded at my goal of showing just how much thought Kyrahlise put into a big choice in Chapter 3, as well as some of her character and past. Had it Been Anyone Else -- I had the sudden need to break Haron's heart. I seem to have accomplished the mission since 100% of the comments mention it being either sad or heartbreaking.

Ngl, I don't know who to tag on this one. Because besides Phen, and one other person, I think most people I know only have one work on ao3, or none. So open tagging it is! If you see this and want to join in, consider yourself tagged, whether you are a mutual or not!

[bellaxgiornata]

What would you get our traumatized Irish Catholic boys for Christmas? And what about our traumatized Italian Catholic and cocky Vampire?

Ahh Soulie I love this question so much but OMG I had to THINK for this one!! Mostly for Owen and Henry because we don't learn too much personal stuff about Henry (plus he's a centuries old vampire so like...what the hell would you gift him?). And I think I'm only just starting season three of Boardwalk Empire so what I thought of for Owen is more of a funny gift. I'd probably have a better answer once I've seen more of him in the show if I'm being honest. But anyway, for those who're curious on my gifting ideas and thought process for Matt Murdock, Michael Kinsella, Frank Castle, Owen Sleater, and Henry (whatever his last name is 😆), I'm putting everything below the cut cause y'all know I'm longwinded 😅

Also feel free to join in on ideas in the comments because I'd love to hear what other gift ideas y'all would have!

Gifting something to Matt Murdock seems like...an impossible task to me. Whenever I write fics, I honestly hate coming up with ideas for a character to gift him something 🤣 Why? Because this man doesn't remotely scream materialistic. I mean he barely makes any money at his law firm and is all too happy to be paid in bananas. And his only hobby is illegal and probably going to get him killed. So what the hell do you get Matt?

Personally, I'd gift him some sort of spa day or a long ass massage. He'd certainly need to be forced to take the time for himself and use it, but you know that man's battered and worn body would welcome a nice, long massage. Then maybe treat him to a nice dinner at a great restaurant because I always worry this man isn't eating enough.

Bonus gift: I'd give him a weighted blanket, too. I feel like it would help relax him on the nights he doesn't go out beating criminals.

Okay, this one came far too easily to me for Frank Castle. I'd gift him a rescue dog. Why? THIS MAN NEEDS A DOG OKAY. Frank and a dog just go together in my mind.

I also think Frank would thrive and heal a little from the unconditional love of a furry friend. And he could certainly use the company from a canine companion. I just know a dog would bring a smile to this man's face and bring out that softer, non-murder-y side that we all know is there inside of him. And honestly, I worry about how incredibly alone Frank feels after losing his family. So a dog would be perfect.

Bonus gift: Possibly some new books to read because I imagine this man doesn't enjoy much television in his downtime.

This one also came far too easily to me. I'd gift Michael Kinsella with a little vacation literally fucking anywhere calming and peaceful outside of Dublin. He desperately needs to get away from the stress of his family's business and just his crazy, shitty family in general. They're obviously not good for his health and I think he could seriously use the break. I'd also get him some less depressing books so his ass stops just reading Steinbeck and starts reading something else. You need some new books, Mikey.

Bonus gift: I'd surprise him by having his daughter Anna come along on the vacation. After eight years in prison, those two could really use some bonding time without Mikey's meddling family.

This is where things started to get tougher for me. Like I said, I'm barely in season three of Boardwalk so I feel like I don't know much about Owen personally. He hasn't had that much screen time besides some killing, scheming, and sex. So this gift idea was a bit more on the entertaining/funny side. I think further into the series I could come up with something far better.

I'd gift Owen an expensive bottle of Irish whiskey and lots of condoms. I mean, it certainly seems like he'd use both of them. The man is...definitely a flirt who has every intention of following through on his flirting 👀

Bonus gift: I don't know, me? Do I count? You can have me for Christmas, Owen.

Okay so Henry is the toughest one for me to answer this for. I mean he's a vampire and he's a few hundred years old and the movie doesn't give that much background or personal information on him. So what would I gift him for Christmas?

Considering he's a few centuries old, I doubt he's materialistic (certainly doesn't seem that way). I doubt he'd like a vacation because I mean...he's probably well traveled. We know he's got some morals since he doesn't feed on humans because he used to be one. So I imagine this vampire would enjoy literature and maybe art--things that connect him to the human side he lost. Though I assume he probably already owns and has read all the classic novels, so maybe I'd gift him something that's current that might resonate with him that he hasn't read yet.

Bonus gift: Maybe an engraved lighter? The vampire does seem to enjoy smoking. Or maybe something handmade and sentimental.

[prolix-yuy]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag @oonajaeadira! Funny enough I saw this go around a couple months ago and meant to do it, then life got crazy. This seems like a great time to jump on in!

How many works do you have on ao3?

48! Wowza! That's not counting fics I only post here (like my Writers Iron Chefs and the Bangathon)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

338,089. That's kind of crazy, I'm not gonna lie. And some of those words aren't filthy :P

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Pedro Pascal Cinematic Universe!

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

Something New, One Very Good Night, Both Sides of the Door, A Sweet Response to Tragedy, and Good Company. 4 out of 5 of these are from I Think of You, which does warm my little heart. I did laugh that their popularity is completely out of order from the series.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes yes yes! Every single one I get! I'll even yank your tags out and comment on them when they make me especially happy. It's the best part of sharing my stories.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

TECHNICALLY One Very Good Night had the angstiest ending before I continued the series. Same with Cognitive Dissonance! Apparently I get to an angsty end then just write a part 2.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think that's tied with the real ending to my Whiskey & Westworld series, and all the gooey soft fun of my Javi G series. Both make my heart glow in different ways.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Knock on wood, nothing so far. I've gotten a couple of interpretations of my fics that have made me cock my head because I just don't think the person read the story, or if they did they skimmed over the character development part. But otherwise I've had a very nice time with everyone here <3

9. Do you write smut?

If you don't know by now, I'm not sure what you've been reading...

10. Craziest crossover?

100% Whiskey & Westworld. Golden Circle meets android theme park? Lusting over cowboys and having existential crises? It fit better than I ever thought it would and I still love the crap out of it.

(though as a side note, having Javi P be the person who helped Santi find his girls in the SW!Frankie AU is another fav)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not? Yeesh.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that would be pretty neat!

13. Have you co-written a fic before?

No, but I have had the distinct pleasure of @psychedelic-ink writing a fic in the SW!Frankie AU that made my whole life.

14. All time favorite ship?

HELP I'M TORN. It's a tie between Din and my Reader in I Think of You and Dieter and Murch in Best Laid Plans. I think about both of them so so so much.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will

I have a handful of small WIPs in a folder that who knows if they'll come to fruition. I think the greatest contender is probably the Post-Apocalyptic Frankie I tossed around because The Last of Us came out and it might just meld into a Joel story instead.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at pacing and giving enough description to keep a reader engaged but not bogged down with details. People connect with my reader characters in a way that makes me super happy. And I write damn good smut.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I can't write outlines or my brain says "it's done :)" and I never write the story. I can't write out of order. I struggle with making characters have meaningful fights and arguments because I'm non-confrontational IRL and it makes me anxious.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language

Flavor! I love reading it! I tend to shy away from writing it because as someone who knows another language, it never feels natural to me to throw it in. Pet names are a nice way to use it, and I'll allude to speaking other languages in descriptions, but it's difficult so I tend to not add it much in my stories.

19. First fandom you wrote for

Gundam Wing when I was about eight or nine. Part of my username is in homage to that! My friends and I would write our fanfics and then read them all out loud at sleepovers together. Pre-internet, this was my Tumblr lol.

20. Favorite fic you've written

You know, I love all of my fics a whole damn lot, and my top ones are still hard favs. But I think for a story that came out of my heart in a really nice way and that I hold a little closer than the others, The Plan might just top them a tiny bit.

NP tags: @iamskyereads @psychedelic-ink @julesonrecord @wannab-urs @ezrasbirdie and anyone who wants to play!

[timeofjuly]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag @floofanflurr <3 I am always happy to yap about my fics! I'll pop this below the cut 'cause it's kinda long.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Eight under the timeofjuly account, and a few others scattered around other usernames and the anonymous collection.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 124,470 words, which is kinda crazy to look back on since I only started in August of last year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Undertale at the moment, but I've written for a few other fandoms in the past.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Resisting the Current

Trick or Heat

Wishbone

Parallel Circuits

And Four Papyri in a Pear Tree

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Always, though it sometimes takes me a little to get around to it. My favourite thing about writing fanfic is the sense of community that you build, so I love getting to chat about the fic in the comments. I always have a million and one thoughts that didn't make it to the page that I'm desperate to share. I also like to say thank you when people go out of their way to comment, because I really appreciate it. As a reader, I know I get super excited when an author replies to my comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to go with a few of the RtC 'verse oneshots for this. I think Resolutions from Parallel Circuits ends on a pretty angsty note, particularly compared to the seemingly upbeat start. From Silver String, there will be no answer is pretty bleak and so is on my way home. I'm quite proud of how they both end, actually - I think they're my two strongest endings in the lot.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Any of the smut, probably? They're all set in happy established relationships and end on a cutesy note.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not for a very long time, no! I remember, many many years ago, posting my very first fic on fanfic.net lol and getting a very nasty review about how the reader didn't know the main pairing in the fic was m/m (slash back then, what a blast from the past) even though it was very clearly indicated in the summary and the AN at the start. It goes to show people have been bad at curating their own reading experiences by minding the tags and summaries since forever.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! Mostly established relationship stuff under this username so far.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not super into cross-universe crossovers, but, same as @floofanflurr, I really like playing around with cross fic crossovers. I'm (slowly) writing a crack dialogue-only oneshot where the reader inserts of Wishbone and RtC are stuck together in a broken elevator lol. It's been a fun challenge! It's very very hard to put two characters who are normally referred to in the second person in the same scene, lemme tell you, which is why I ended up choosing to go dialogue only.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but I'd be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nothing that I've posted! @marty-parties and I have been messing around with an underfell papyrus/reader fic, though! I also used to rp all the time, which I'd count as cowriting. I miss it very much, even though I used to get super easily overwhelmed by it.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

This is such a tough question. I'll pretty much read anything if I vibe with the ship dynamics (pining and unrequited love my beloved, I will read you anywhere no matter the ship or fandom), but I went through my bookmarks to actually get the stats on this. I used to be super into the mcu (I completely lost interest after endgame) so tony/steve and tony/steve/bucky were the most common ships. I have no clue what my favourite ship would be now, though.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Never say never, but I really want to write this horrortale isekai fic I've had bouncing around in my brain. I've fully plotted it out and it's set to only be five chapters, but I'm really struggling to actually write the thing. I have started it, though, so we'll see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterisation, I think. And even though I mostly gravitate towards writing angsty stuff, I think humour and comedic timing is a strength of mine too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Physical description and settings, 100%. I don't really picture anything in my head when I write, which means all that physical description doesn't make its way onto the page, and when it does, I'm just going off vibes. Particularly with setting - I have zero idea what the locations in any of my fics look like lol. Like, the house in RtC? No clue. Zero.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Really cool! I love it when people do this and I get to translate it, it's like a nice surprise.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, I think? It's all scrubbed from the internet now though.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Wishbone. I am so attached to the Second Mage and Sans and Rus, you have no idea. Particularly Flint, I just adore them. Don't get me wrong, I love the electrician and Quinn and all of my ocs, but I have a special place in my heart for reader inserts who are nasty and hurting and lash out and aren't always the kind, considerate, emotionally stable person in the relationship, forever supporting others. I read something years ago that said to consider how your character is inclined to react to things, both good and bad, and how for lots of people, it's not in our nature to instinctively respond to things with kindness and openness. In fiction, we often expect our POV characters to deal with situations with emotional maturity that we ourselves, along with the majority of irl people, don't have. I think this rings true even more for reader inserts. It's fun to flip this on its head in Wishbone - what if instead of acting with an uncommon kindness, you do the opposite? You get to be flawed. You get to have the murky motives. You get to hurt and in turn you hurt others, and that hurting has real consequences on you and the people around you. This is also a great way to create angst lol - in the non-fell version of Wishbone, where everyone is generally just less of an asshole and therefore makes kinder choices, a lot of the events in the fic just wouldn't happen.

No pressure tag to @covfefeships and anyone else who'd like to do this!

[sungbeam]

requests, the third round

a/n: yk,, i always say im not good with requests, but sometimes, i really do just need a whole system reboot and to look at other people's ideas 💀 so this is me trying 🤸‍♀️

NOW OPEN FROM TODAY, SEPT. 5TH TO FRIDAY, SEPT. 8TH !! NOW CLOSED

some ground rules:

✶ remember that i am Not Good At Requests. if i don't end up getting to yours/give up on them, then i'm sorry. if u want a guaranteed fic, u prob shouldn't come to my inbox :')

✶ this is my mainly sfw blog; pls keep all requests pg-13, suggestive at the most. here's a sample of how far i'm willing to go for the sake of readers on this blog.

✶ i'm very much willing to write about death, grief, violence, and blood, to an extent. pls do not send a request romanticizing toxic and/or abusive relationships, bc i will delete it.

✶ i write fem reader at default, but i am very much open to gn reader too. just be sure to specify!

✶ would i write a love triangle? a love square? a love octagon??? (yes, i'm bringing this back) if u want it, and i have the energy for it, lmk LMAO

✶ ONCE YOU HAVE SENT IN A REQUEST, i will update this post below the cut with requests i've received so far. pls check there for if i've seen your ask :]

how to request:

send a prompt(s)/au/song inspo/etc + genre(s) + desired idol boyo(s)!!

— i'll write for anyone from the EIGHT groups i have a masterlist for LOL (prob an emphasis on tbz but maybe this'll get me back to ncity, who knows)

— some prompt ideas: dialogue. question starters. fluff. hozier for vibes. from a villain. werewolf by night quotes.

request queue!

— if u told me i don't have to use all the prompts, i still put them down just so i have all the ideas in one place ^_^

lee hyunjae x "you feel like home to me" x debut/predebut era — from anon

jung wooyoung x "i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me" x "there’s nothing sweeter than my baby" x fluff, suggestive — from @jaehunnyy

lee hyunjae x e2l x "i don't understand why you have to torment me every second of the day! you were a sweetheart when you left, obviously life happened and now you're a devil! what the fuck, lee jaehyun?!" x "you don't understand how i think of you everyday when we were apart" x "i'm not saying that i'm using you but could you fix me? put me back together?" — from anon

kim sunwoo x e2l x spy au x angst x "working together again, it’s just like old times." x "clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place." x "the only one who gets to kill you, is me." x "enemies make the best lovers, you know. " x "why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood?" — from @shakalakaboomboo

hwang intak or yoon keeho x “it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break.” x hurt/comfort — from anon

eric sohn x bffs2l x "was that your first kiss?" x "you can kiss me, you know." — from @mosviqu

eric sohn x “i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you” x “promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up?” — from @ericlvr

lee sangyeon x spy au x "what are you doing out here by yourself?" x "you gonna be a good girl for me?" x "they're dangerous? well unfortunately, so am i." x suggestive/action — from @winterchimez

choose an idol boy 😋 x actors au x e2l x happy ending by svt — from 🌷 anon

idol boy selection in progress x corpse bride au x horror — from 🌷 anon

lee juyeon(?) x soc/helnik au x "i fell in love with the fire long ago." — from @hqrana

xu minghao x "when i was a child, i heard voices… some would sing and some would scream." x "i’m standing in the ashes of who i used to be." x shang-chi au x angst and/or comfort — from @tranquilpetrichor

jacob bae or ji changmin x hozier's francesca x hurt/comfort, angst x a love that endures — from @zzoguri

ji changmin x new year's day (taylor swift) x fluff, comfort — from anon

jacob bae x band au x secret muse/songwriter au x vancouver by big naughty x busking — from @hongyangi

choi chanhee x e2l x she fell first, but he fell harder trope x banter/teasing — from @richasdiary

lee hyunjae x royalty au x poor girl/servant girl x royalty/prince au — from anon

lee hyunjae x bad boy good girl trope — from anon

kevin moon x older brother's best friend x secret relationship x "good morning, sleeping beauty." x "is that my shirt?" x "you look good like this." x "are you trying to get us in trouble?" x "are you sure this is a good idea?" x fluff, suggestive — from @confuchan

lee juyeon x "we can't keep doing this" x bffs 2 lovers — from anon

choi beomgyu x heartbreak girl by 5sos x angst, uber fluffy ending — from @loveliestfelix

lee jeno x best friends 2 lovers x dress by taylor swift — from anon

eric sohn x hands by flatsound x angst with or without a happy ending — from anon

eric sohn x “is that my shirt?” x fluff/suggestive — from anon

lee hyunjae x "you can hold my hand, if you want." x zombie apocalypse au — from anon

kim sunwoo x sweet nothing by taylor swift — from anon

[chartreuseian]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter ❤️❤️❤️

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

28!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

607,203

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sanctuary!

4. Top five by kudos

Mr & Mrs - 127 (aka train fic)

Love Don't Die - 46 (bad future fic that got away from me)

Sturdy - 30 (aka desk fic)

With Interest - 30 (I honestly have no idea why I wrote this one!?)

When Will Failed the Perception Test - 19 (Will is a goober)

All, shockingly, Helen/Nikola.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Sometimes I'm slow, but I try to respond to them all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote one once where Helen was dying? It's pretty sad.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lololol all of them?

I mean, as a general rule, I'm going to go for happy endings over sad. Train fic is turning out to be the fluffiest/happiest (just you wait for that last chapter!!!).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Back in the Olden Days and in a different fandom, but not in our happy little family these days 🥰

9. Do you write smut?

Mwahahahahahaha...

Yes. Almost exclusively these days. Though I am working on a non-smut story!

10. Craziest crossover?

Cross overs aren't really my vibe, soz.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Hmmm... No? I don't think so. I mean, I've written tags or additions to other people's stories, and other people have written additions to mine, but not proper co-writing.

14. All time favorite ship?

Helen/Nikola but I don't think that's shocking to anyone.

I am getting more and more invested in Helen/James though...

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Ha (looks awkwardly at the eight year hiatus...)

I'm going to try and finish everything I start, but my dreams of redoing She Had Him At Hello dwindle every now and then just because it'd be such a huge workload.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Description. And perspective. I think I'm very consistent and clear and I've gotten out of the head jumping habit. Also punctuating direct speech. I never used to be great at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Knowing when to stop! I keep writing stupidly long scenes that have no business being that long.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I work had to find work arounds. Sometimes I'll include one or two words, but for longer pieces I spend a lot of time consider whose perspective we're in. If it's the person who is speaking the other language, then I'll just put it in English and say that they've said it in another language in the speech tags. If it's from someone else's perspective, I'll just say that they spoke in the other language (because that person doesn't understand it anyway).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ooof. Private Practice.

20. Favorite fic you've written so far?

Lessons series maybe? I'm fickle though - my favourite is mostly what I'm working on at any given time. So right now my modern AU and all the cute smooshy feels its giving me.

[silk-scarlet-ribbons]

I binge-read (which, I'll admit, doesn't do your pacing justice. Planning on rereading it slower lol) your work "children of the stars" and i have. so many (positive) thoughts

I don't usually read sa recovery fics coz I feel like it's common for authors to emphasize the pain more than the recovery-- which, coz fanfic is usually used to vent, isn't bad per se, its just not my thing -- but i was really pleasantly surprised by yours. I love how you express how fucked Tim's situation is while in Jason's POV coz you never really take away from it, while still portraying the distress that he feels and the forced (by law) compliance that often comes with SA by authority figures. How Jason has to walk himself through putting the kid over his anger is gut-wrenchingly amazing (esp with taking the Pit into account), and how Jason works on himself and is generally happier for/because of Tim genuinely made me have to stand up in certain parts. It shows how much Jason doesn't want his own experiences to repeat (both with his alluded to childhood, and with Bruce) and proves how different he is to the character Tim's initially been threatened with. That eventually crescendoing into him calling the exact person he's so cautious of being like??? Actually made me want to die (in a good way).

You also make sure to still express that Tim is a child, which I really appreciated coz i feel like when younger people go through that, it tends to be made into a "step into maturity". Tim just. God, I cried so hard at the "I'll be brave until you get there". The idea that he thinks it'll happen again contrasted with the trust he has in Jason is so aauuuugggghh

Also?? I really really related to Dick in this particular work because of how you portrayed his own reactions and experiences. Coping by taking on responsibility and then having to shed that abruptly when someone else has experienced a similar situation was something I really really liked your approach to. Especially after he finds that Tim has the same/similar trigger to him?? Every different experience with SA that you wrote hit so hard. Definitely one of my favorite reps so far. God. I love all of your character writing. DUDE ALSO WITH BRUCE?? ALFRED?? MARCO?? You described all of the bat's grief and longing for what was so welllll.

Just. Really really refreshing read, 100% gonna go through the rest of your works. Sorry if this was long winded or annoying lol, feel free to disregard if you want to. Either way, thank you so much for posting that (for free!) and I look forward to future chapters if you write any more :)

in case you were wondering, anon, this reply is so late because i spent the last week crying over it <3 /lh

Ohhh man oh man. OH MAN. OH MAN! this is honestly so kind,,, jkjkjdfkjdf Jason and Tim's journeys in CotS as they try to rationalize with what happened to them while still allowing themselves to be juvenile, somehow, was basically a cornerstone in the fic, and I'm so beyond excited and grateful that there are people who genuinely enjoyed that aspect of it. AND DICK, MY BELOVED.... I could never leave him out of it either, I love that guy.

It just means the world to me that you enjoyed this so much? Idk it's like the horrors of being perceived but they're not horrors, they're joys. The joys of having my fic perceived. Grief is one of my favorite things to write for how powerful it is, and getting this kind of feedback only makes me want to keep going (especially now, when I've been hitting a dearth of creativity, lol).

I have one more official chapter planned for CotS--- it's proving to be the hardest to write, because on my life I hate finishing things. Sometimes I can't finish things. But this makes me want to finish it just to give this fic's wonderful, wonderful readers a conclusion.

This was not annoying at all-- I genuinely read it, like, seven-eight times. It was an absolute light for my entire week. Never apologize for doing this for the works you love, I promise you we are reading and we are cherishing.

[pebblysand]

i haven't done this in a while. i used to be very intent on getting these extended a/n-s over the line at the same time as the chapter, which then ended up taking too much time. however, having recently seen the lovely @whinlatter do them for her own fic (also whose template i'm entirely plagiarising, sorry), it's inspired me to do this again. forgive my lateness.

acknowledgements: i would like to extend my most sincere thanks to @turanga4, @welsh-green, @whinlatter, @btelling, @ala-baguette, @greenhousethree, @uncontainedhybrid and everyone else on discord. you have allowed me to vent about All The Things, to pretty much use all of you as sounding boards for this chapter, and have answered my strange questions about air conditioning and automatic vehicles. truly, this chapter would not have been possible without you.

wordcount: let's not talk about it.

soundtrack: i feel like there was a just lots of music for this chapter. there are obviously all of the songs that are mentioned in universe: my name is, californication, here with me, wannabe (oh, the music of the 90s) and the oh-so-amazing bongo bong song which, i have discovered, never actually charted in the US (a crime, as far as i'm concerned). but also a lot songs that i listened to on loop at different times while writing this. caravane and young as the morning, old as the sea (two absolutely gorgeous travel songs), iris (the first-dance song of every wedding ever before ed sheeran took over), the seer's tower - jamie cullum's cover (idk how to describe this song. the cover is so beautiful and creepy at the same time. it's one of my favourite jamie cullum covers), what they'll say about us (an incredibly sad but beautiful love song - idk it's just #vibes), it's called: freefall (a tiktok cover i actually fucking love - love the singer as well, she's the same person who sings labour - and which i totally plagiarised in-text), and what is love? (which i also plagiarised lol). they are all on the castles playlist.

what is this chapter about? sex. love. the intersection of.

this is long and spoilery, so putting it behind the cut.

genesis:

i've honestly rarely been scared by the white blank page as much as i was before starting to write this chapter. i think this was due to a number of things: taking three months off writing (and wondering if i'd be able to pull it off again - i always worry, for some reason), but also this idea that this chapter was such a big ... aeroplane that i needed to land. i remember talking about it on discord a few weeks back, this idea that i'd built up so much, with this story, that i'd set up so much, and now having to deliver something that would be realistic, true to the spirit of castles (#sexandfunerals), but also fun and loving and healing. whilst, as i've said before, this story isn't about a relationship (i know a lot of you would like it to be, but i'm sorry, this is not about harry and ginny), it is a relationship that is obviously important. to the plot, to the characters, to the picture of the post-war world i'm trying to build. to me, doing justice to that relationship is essential in order to also do justice to the other elements of the story (the politics, the friendships, the feminism, the rebuilding of life, really). i've always seen love and romance as a part of life, and therefore as a part of fiction. and, i think i just wanted to treat it with the reverence it deserves.

as a result, i quickly made the decision that this chapter was going to be "just" about harry and ginny. the reason for that is three-fold:

first, narratively speaking, i wanted chapter sixteen (and, no, the fact that 8x2=16 is not a coincidence) to be a direct response to chapter eight. they both intervene as the beginnings of a new act (act two for chap 8, act three for chap 16), and exist in a place that's kind of outside of the "normal" time and space continuum of the fic. chapter eight is technically set in january '99, but it's really set in... ginny's letters. reality almost fades in favour of ginny's words and tale, making the chapter feel like it's almost happening right there and then. the actual reality of what is going on as harry is reading the letters is almost non-existent. it's a bit the same with sixteen. sixteen is an interlude, away from "reality" (london, the politics, everything). and, that's what i wanted it to be. i wanted it to be both the exact same, but also the exact opposite of chapter eight. and, i obviously wanted it to deal with the events of chapter eight, but in a tender, healing way. i had a whole conversation about this with @celestemagnoliathewriter on the podcast where we discussed how, in my opinion, once you deal with these very sensitive issues (non-con, SA, rape, etc.) in a work, you sort of owe it to your reader, too, to show that journey and to show what consensual sex can look like, too. and that, to me, was also the way this chapter was framed as a response to chapter eight. i wanted it to be about sex - but in a positive way.

secondly (and, obviously, this is very self-serving) - harry and ginny aren't the main focus of this story. their relationship is part of it, but not all of it. as i've said above, this is #shippygen territory. therefore, i unfortunately can't spend All My Time on this. so, in a purely technical sense, it felt more "efficient" to me to spend an entire chapter dedicated to them, get most of the rebuilding and relationship admin "done" in one chapter so that i could move on to other things. this obviously does not mean that there will be no romance/relationship stuff in the other chapters moving forward (there's tonnes) but it means that i've laid the ground work, you know? and although this chapter is 22k (sorry) i think it would have taken me a lot more time and energy to lay that same groundwork efficiently, had i not dedicated an entire chapter to it.

lastly, i think there was also a bit of me that was like: i want to write romance. which i know is strange. most of you don't know me as a writer of romance, but i also am. before HP, my entire "trade" was basically shippy fics. i enjoy it, i find it fun, and so i wanted to write it.

(below, a few individual points i thought i could talk about, in no particular order)

the american roadtrip:

as explained above, when i started to think about what the rebuilding of H&G's relationship would look like (which obviously happens throughout act 2 but really materialises in this chapter) i came to this conclusion that i wanted to have this chapter be a little bit of an interlude "outside" of normal life. and, as i've also said this before, my favourite niche sub-genre of post-war fics are fics that include travel. i mean, what can i say? i'm a traveler, i love going places to explore. i'm on a plane at least once a month. and, i've always had a soft spot for stories where harry "fucks off" and goes travelling somewhere, with or without ginny, to heal. for the record, here is a selection of my favourites:

the grown up driver by pocketfullof ; venn diagrams of one circle by aceofdiamonds ; warm front by flagpoles ; maps to the stars' homes by lizbee ; beauty lays behind the hills by meliebee

and so, obviously, when it was time to create this chapter in my head, the idea of a road trip came very naturally to me. i was like: i need them to focus on "them", i need them away... let's take them away, you know? i'd always sort of dreamed of writing one of those travel fics, and so it was so, so nice to realise that castles itself was going to give me the opportunity to do that. super self-indulgent, but oh, so enjoyable. it came at the cost of a little "suspension of disbelief" (sure, they're going to drive a car even though they can apparate ; sure, harry can just fuck off from his job for two months ; and sure, the fact that Quidditch season starts just at the end of september when i need it to is a total coincidence lol) but you know, who cares? i hope you did suspend your disbelief, lol.

now, on the choice of the US: i feel like the US is obviously the quintessential "road trip" destination, but i did consider others. i also toyed with australia for a while, south africa, canada and argentina. i ended up ruling out the first three pretty quickly because a) i've never been to australia or south africa and b) i have been to canada but never driven there. as you now know from our research episode on the podcast, anything that requires me to do extensive amounts of research is an automatic no (lol), so. the only one that really held some ground against the US was argentina because i love the country so much, we did drive around quite a lot when i was there, and i felt like there was a lot of potential for magical worldbuilding. but my issue was a) i went to argentina in early 2020 so i felt like the country was probably very different from what it would have looked like in 98 (coming back to our #idontwannadoresearch issue) and b) i would have kind of needed to change the timing of the trip if i wanted them to go in summer. i really considered this, i felt like there wouldn't be that much difference in having them go away over christmas rather than july/august/sep, and i feel like flying over Mount Fitz Roy or Perito Moreno rather than the Grand Canyon would have been equally spectacular, so the research part was really what did it for me in the end. i've just been to the US so much. i lived there for a year. i also have a lot of friends there who i can ask stuff to about the late 90s if i need to. it was just... easier. H&G will go to argentina for their twentieth anniversary or something lol.

now this being said, dearest americans, i hope you forgive me for... roasting your country a bit? in good spirit, i promise. i love the US. the US is just... funny, you know? what's with the aircon everywhere? and omg the state of your roads. buffalo is a shithole, i will not apologise for that, i have been there too many times. it was just so much fun to write this from harry and ginny's perspective, build in some little quirks they would have noticed. the trelawney bean joke. that and the line "This is the late 90s - there’s still something sort of “aspirational” about it." will never not make me laugh. what the fuck is happening to this country right now? do you need a hug? it was also fun to wonder what magical life would look like there. i think what i built is very inspired by what i could find on pottermore, although i did sort of pick and choose what i liked. and also fuck, the grand canyon is literally the most beautiful place on earth.

lastly, sorry to all of the areas i didn't mention. i initially wanted to get them to loop around but of their own accord, they decided to go at a really slow pace so i decided to scratch the north west and the south east. i really wanted them to drive down the coast from seattle to LA, but alas. they'll come back later, i promise lol.

harry and ginny:

i think, honestly, all i have to say about them is in the chapter (and, if it's not, it'll surely be in my asks, lol). my babies. i think what i really wanted this chapter to be was like: them, talking. face to face, not through letters. just existing together. joking around. confessing things. arguing, sometimes (as we all probably must). in light of the many comments i've received over the last 48 hours (for which i cannot thank you enough), it seems that that was achieved. obviously, castles is also very much about sex and so i wanted this chapter to be about them rebuilding that, too. harry has this strange mental block, of course, which is him being terrified of basically being "like" Amycus and forcing her into something she doesn't want and also fearing that she actually doesn't want them to be together. it's hard to believe someone who's lied to you in the past, regardless of their reasons. it's hard to be told "yes, you did make me think of him" and build past that. i also really want this to be a callback to last summer where, as harry says himself:

Last summer, everything was difficult but the sex was always the one thing that worked, between them, and now everything is better but every time his hands are on her skin, he freezes. He wants to slam the car into a tree like that will shock him into living.

i wanted this chapter to not only show the struggles, but them actually working through the struggles. communicating. and, i don't know if you've noticed, every time they do "argue," they sort of get better at it. at first, they have this fight about bodycount (see below for more on that) where neither of them is actually a) talking about what they're really talking about, b) saying what they want to say and c) talking about what they should be talking about. then, slowly, carefully, they communicate better and better to the point that when they "fight" inside the car before grand canyon, it's not really a "fight" and more of a reflection on how to solve a very practical problem.

@gardenroses1 said something in her comment this morning which really intrigued me and is something i genuinely didn't plan for or notice: every time H&G fight, they do it following some sort of "external" intervention. either the press (prior to the bodycount fight) or the millers family (prior to the "i want to believe you" fight). it's true, was totally unintentional, but also feels super interesting and goes to what i felt in my gut prior to this chapter: that they needed to go away to truly focus on rebuilding this. again, i feel like their foundations are strong enough, now, that when the outside world attacks them again, they will know how to respond better. but, i thought this was a very good point to note!

the line:

He wonders if girls just get better at reading people because their lives depend on it. 

this was quoted back to me a few times in my comments and so i thought i should maybe talk about it a bit. or at least, acknowledge it. i actually don't particularly like that line, i tried many times to phrase it better, gave up and almost deleted it, verifying once again this strange phenomenon that @btelling and i have recently identified where, whenever we seem to think like a line is too on the nose and almost delete it, it becomes the line that everyone loves, lol.

i mean, this reflects what it says on the tin, right? if castles is one thing, it's the place for me to push my feminist agenda (lol) so there you go. smashing the patriarchy one line at a time.

on "bodycount":

if you were following this tumblr last summer, you will remember this: i used to get a lot of asks about ginny's sex life. stuff like: wouldn't harry be mocked because ginny slept around? and: wouldn't harry feel insecure about ginny sleeping around? and even once: what's ginny's bodycount? (if you don't believe me, look through here). often (though not always) these were formulated quite rudely (which actually led me to implement the politeness policy) and i must admit, i wasn't always super nice, myself, answering these. i think they just sort of puzzled me. given the themes of this fic, i tend to think of my audience as liberal, feminist women in their 20s & 30s, which made it all the more shocking to get questions from people who were clearly not part of that demographic. the way the concept of "loose women" and "bodycount" is inherently tied with the control of women's sexuality by the patriarchy should be news to no one, reading this. and, i mean, on the one hand, sure, these were legit questions given the society we live in, but not ones i would necessarily expect to be asked, you know? i think especially the bodycount one really surprised me.

the first iteration of this chapter included the whole issue of sex (i.e. harry not wanting to "force" her, etc.) but the bodycount talk was actually a later addition. i don't know where it came from. i remember i was actually writing a whole bunch of conversations that were to occur before the road trip (and ended up being moved around into the road trip for the most part) and harry and ginny just started ... talking about it. it was very sweet and cute and him basically telling her he didn't care. i kind of liked it and sent it to @btelling as a sort of "look what my anons make me write" thing but then i was like: wait a minute, i think there's potential for more here. i remembered there was this idea that stemmed from the anons i was getting that was like: harry will be insecure about her sleeping around and i was like: i mean, maybe, but what about her though? because for a girl who's barely 18 and still probably very much affected by patriarchal ideas, having been through what she's been through, it's like: well, what is he going to think about me, right? and, she kind of asks him what he thinks in chapter 14 and he's like a) telling her he doesn't care/mind and b) that he is a bit insecure, too, which i think alleviates her concerns a bit until, well, he doesn't seem to want to sleep with her, right? and she's like: wait, were you lying? and, i think for ginny as well, she sort of wants it to be about that because if it's not that, it's the fact that she "slept" with amycus that's putting him off, which is much more serious and traumatic for her.

as i said above, i loved writing that fight in the hotel room. i realised that the cute and sweet conversation i has originally written could be turned into an argument very easily by just changing the tone, which definitely was a good sign. and having harry snap: i didn't ask the next day was so enjoyable. he thinks he's saying the right thing by saying he doesn't care, but that's not what she wants to hear. she wants him to care, because for her it's a part of her that isn't "perfect" and she wants him to know about it and accept it, rather than ignore it. and getting to resolve that misunderstanding was just so satisfying.

lastly, i've had comments telling me 28 wasn't a lot. she's barely 18. this happened over the span of 3 months-ish. i don't care if it's a lot or not a lot and the fact that people have an opinion about that is just fucking gross.

ah, the patriarchy 🙄.

miscellaneous:

you have @btelling and @turanga4 to thank for the fact that i kept R&H's wedding. this chapter was so long, i genuinely considered deleting the first 5k. i also considered doing two chapters (one for the wedding and one for the road trip) but those would have been annoyingly uneven. i hope you enjoyed lol.

the flight over grand canyon was almost a flight over the Great Lakes. initially, it was grand canyon. then, that felt like too much time as i was going north then south so i changed it and decided to have them sleep together right after the upper peninsula (which, by the way, not making the trip upstate when i lived in michigan is my biggest regret - this was just me getting to go there by proxy). but then, when i got to that point, idk, it didn't ... work? and, when i'd made the change, although the great lakes region is gorgeous, i was super upset to not get the grand canyon sights, so i changed it back. i think it was just better in terms of scenery and timing in the end.

speaking of the grand canyon.... i used chatGPT to describe it LOL. or, at least get inspo on how to describe it. as we know, i'm not very visual so while i have been there, it's always difficult for me to describe the grandiosity of something. so i prompted chatGPT to describe the grand canyon at night to me in a "romantic" way and TA-DA. honestly, i only took a couple of sentences from the few paragraphs it gave me, but it was just good to get the juices going. i thought i'd mention it cause i don't think all AI is evil.

if you've listened to the podcast episode on romance, you'll notice a few references to the ep (When he opens his eyes again, their palms let go of each other and they stumble, landing inside their motel room. A rough transition between the grandiose and the mundane, and a bed that protests loudly whenever they move, and carpet that reeks like centuries-old cigarettes.) i was editing the ep whilst editing castles so i thought it was fun to play with the discussion @copper-dust and i had had a little bit.

i think H&G will go on one annual trip per year now. just somewhere. they deserve it lol.

aaand, that's it for me. this was way longer than i thought it would be lol.

if you have any questions, let me know ❤️

[blackbird-brewster]

20 Author Questions

Tagged by @danielleitloudernow TY!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Still accredited to my name? 135. Total works on AO3 that I've written (including Anon & Orphans) -- somewhere around 150?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1.1 MILLION!?!?!??! FUCKING WILD.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Criminal Minds (124). But also have some Thrilling Adventure Hour (4), Grey's (3), and a few other random fandoms where I've written one thing ever.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Caged (Kudos: 635)

The Disposition of Emily Prentiss (Kudos: 511)

I Won't Give Up (Kudos: 441)

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Kudos: 359)

i can't be wrong (to be craving you) (Kudos: 312) OMG I had no idea this fic had that many?!?!!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to every single comment I get!! Since I can't actually reach through the screen and hug every reader who leaves a comment, a reply is all I have!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm, Angstiest ending specifically? I would say 'The Five Horsemen of the Silent Chasm'. (Ends in major character death)

Angstiest overall fic? DEF, DEF, DEF my Jemily saga -- i can't be wrong (to be craving you)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've written so much tooth-rotting fluff tbrh. Some cute shit that comes to mind:

Quiet Love (Jara Wedding Fluff!)

Always You (Temily proposal)

I Know a Place (Jara)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I get entitled comments sometimes. To which I always reply, because I think it's important for other readers to see how not to behave in a comment section. This recent interaction comes to mind:

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

OF COURSE I DO!!! Lately, I have been writing a lot of smut because menopause has turned me into a 24/7 horny gay. All my fics are Femslash and I also write F/F/F threesomes because I have multiple OT3s 😇

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have written crossovers in the past! Two of my favourites are a TAH x Addams Family one : Beyond Belief: When Family Calls and a CM x Community crossover where Emily and Frankie Dart are estranged twins: Words Left Unsaid

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

Not so much stolen, as I've seen parts of my own personal fanon lore being used in other fics sometimes. Which I find endearing. Me and @otahkoapisiakii have so many Jemily HCs that we often share the same background details in our fics and then, sometimes, readers see these things and mistakenly think they're canon.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! I've had a few fics translated into other languages. I think one was translated to Polish and another to Mandarin. Also, I think there's one in German somewhere too.

I LOVE when people ask to translate my works! It's such an honour.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

TONS. I think me and @otahkoapisiakii (Phoenix_falls on AO3) have about 6 or 7 we wrote together.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That's an impossible question. My longest loved OTP will always be MSR. My most written OTP is JJ/Emily. My current favourite ships are JJ/Tara & Tara/Rebecca.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

When I retired from writing in 2015, I left behind a WIP (To Catch an Unsub). When I came back last year, I vowed to try and finish it. I re-wrote a lot of what had already been posted and managed a new chapter even -- but after nearly eight years, my writing style now is far different than when I started out in 2015. So I tied up the cliff-hanger and marked it as complete, because I know my heart isn't in it to continue that one.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have a really good understanding of the characters, I know what makes them tick, their motives, their insecurities and I think that makes them feel more authentic in my works.

I'm also a very fast writer. Both physically (my typing speed is absurd), but also just being able to bang out 10k in a day when I have an idea.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

NUMBERS AND SELF-IMPOSED RULES! I used to have this thing (I still struggle with it, but less so now) where I'd be like 'Every one-shot or chapter can't be more than 4k words'. Or if it's a multi-chap fic it has to be at least x amount of words minimum.

When I started writing completely for myself, those rules stopped holding me back. Now, I write until I'm done writing. Thus why Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3 is going to be around 200k long when it's done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I use another language, it's usually French because I at least speak a bit of it and don't have to use Google translate or other horrible tools that butcher nuance.

I have a Spanish speaking character in Part 3 and that made me really have to dig out my limited Spanish speaking skills for her scenes. Which are probably grating to fluent speakers (apologies!)

I think the best thing you can do if you want to use a language you don't speak is to talk to people who do speak it. It helps make the dialogue more genuine.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bones! During the WGA 2007 strike, I decided to fill the gap of TV hiatus with my own story. I wrote 'She Was My First' (Angela/Brennan) and posted it to LiveJournal (where I was in tons of Bones groups).

Since then, I ported it to AO3 around 2014. And now, it's the most read Angela/Brennan fic on there.

Fun Fact: Someone randomly leaving a comment on this fic last year was the reason I came back to writing!!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I get this question a lot and I think my answer always changes because I love different fics for different reasons. So here are some of my top ones:

Fic I Love Everything About: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) (Series)

Fics I Consider to be My Most Important: Head Full of Doubt & Journey Through the Silent Chasm (Series)

Fic I'm Most Proud of Writing: i can't be wrong (to be craving you)

My Comfort Fic (the one I re-read the most): Between You & Me

TAG YOU'RE IT: (no pressure!) @storiesofsvu || @gaelic-symphony || @ellegreenawayslover || @tedwinisconfused || @jenny-from-the-bau || @unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix

[lespetitesmortsde]

For the asks thing: 4, 7, 8, 13, 15, 16, 20, 22?

A couple of these I've already answered, so I'll link the previous answers - that's on me because I was slow responding to these asks!

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

Oh god, actual WIPs? Well, posted I have... six for Imodna and one for supercorp. If we include docs that have chapters partially written? Then it goes up to I think 11 for imodna and four for supercorp.

TECHNICALLY. However, I am lowkey working on new chapters for Eyes on Me and Let the Pieces Fall into Place which make it eight posted WIPs for imodna, or 13 total WIPs for imodna.

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

Answered here!

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

Imodna first:

All the posted WIPs: When the Stars Go Out, Dolcissimo, Set the World on Fire, Before the Body Decays, All I Want for Winter's Crest, and Let's Get Out of This Town.

Then there's Eyes on Me and Let the Pieces Fall into Place which are unofficial WIPs. Technically, they're oneshots and complete, but their docs have new content under new chapters so. We'll see.

Finally, the secret ones I'm working on:

Supercorp-wise:

Slow It Down (the only one posted so far), Shatter Me (just needs another round of editing), En Garde (sidenote I love fencing and I hope to find a different title), Three, Working Title I (I'll just say: tattoos), and Working Title II (angst. much angst).

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

Depends on the fic and depends on the chapter. When I first start a fic, sometimes I need an outline doc right away and I'll work on that until I've exhausted the initial idea and spark, just try to use that fire while I can. Sometimes the fic gets away from me and then I need to make an outline doc later instead of a handful of notes at the end of the fic doc.

In terms of sitting down to write a chapter, sometimes I have a series of bullet points of things to hit in the chapter, but more often than not, there's a line or two of notes at the end of the doc to remind me what I want to include/where I'm going and that's enough.

Lots of research happens as I go, though, which I think some people do in advance and thus might constitute planning, but I prefer to do in the moment.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Answered here!

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

Oh boy. Okay. The rarest point of all is at the beginning, but once in a blue moon it happens. In general, I prefer to come up with them at the end - harder for a multi-chapter situation where I try to find something that embodies the overall vibe. When the Stars Go Out is such a long title, but it fit the vibe of what I want the fic to be, and I stumbled into it trying to think romantic and philosophical thoughts when I'd finished the first chapter. Dolcissimo on the other hand has been titled since the outlining stage where I got deep into a glossary of music notation terms and promptly titled the fic, each chapter, and the sequel and its chapters.

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

If/Then for sure because it kind of fell into my lap after some trial and error and it fits SO WELL. In my humble opinion, of course.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

In general, yes. Some fics I have a specific vision and others there might be a particular scene or an emotion I want the reader to come away with. Do I know every detail about the ending? Absolutely not. I haven't seen in-depth a ton of others' processes, but I think I write from a fairly bare bones outline. The act of writing - the typing and the finding the words as I go - really impacts and shapes what comes out. Like. Something happens during the times where my fingers clicky clack against the keyboard and I can't really explain it, but I have, often, a vague goal and my keystrokes get me there. Sometimes far later or after many more words than anticipated.

Are you curious about something? You can ask me stuff, too! Here's the list of questions, but my ask box is always open!

[tunaababee]

20 Questions for Writers tag game!

gonna chuck this under a cut since it's gonna be lengthy!! thank you so much for the tag @popjunkie42 <3 <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? eight! my one foray into DDADDS, a handful of Homestuck fics (notably Cats and Coffee, which i need to rewrite at some point!!) and 2 for acotar, though that number will be going up!!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 76,793!!

3. What fandoms do you write for? mainly acotar at the moment - i will probably dip my toes back into homestuck periodically though, it is where my roots lie!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Strained (my one ddadds fic for a crackship) Cats and Coffee we will be everything we say Little Games Is It? (im pretty sure this was my first fic lmao)

5. Do you respond to comments? almost always, they make my day and mean so much!! if i don't reply im either busy and forgot bc my brain is like a sieve or happened to receive and influx and got overwhelmed!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably Breathe, which i wrote while having severely unmedicated depression and also being angry at how they shafted my fave character!!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? oh, hands DOWN wwbews. that is the fluffiest most tooth rotting ending and it was DELIBERATE!!!

8. Do you get hate on fics? im very lucky to have avoided anybody's ire, but i also love biting people on the internet sometimes and i am very liberal with my block button lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i think i would die a little bit if i couldnt write smut?? i mostly write relatively sappy, breeding-kink heavy stuff haha. i want to dip my toes into stuff thats a little more taboo though!! (*cough* ascendant astarion mind control *cough*)

10. Do you write crossovers? no, personally i like keeping stuff in its own little pockets!! mad shoutout to crossover writers though <3

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not as far as i'm aware!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no, but if anyone ever wanted to all they'd need to do is ask!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope, but i may have something in the works at some point soon 👀

14. What is your all-time favorite ship? no matter what, Karezi will always be my absolute ride or die, but Feysand is pretty fucking up there too!! i love most acotar ships, but in terms of homestuck ones, Arasol and Davejade are big faves too!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? there's an old Homestuck wip i have deep in the folders called Glitter that i remember the vague direction of? but i know that one is not seeing the light of day, along with a barely fleshed out bandstuck au haha. im determined to make my acotar ideas/wips see the world at some point though!!

16. What are your writing strengths? mm hard to say? i'm very pessimistic/negative about me and my work by nature, so it's difficult to say with honesty, but i like to think i convey emotion and inner thoughts decently well! i also think my dialogue is relatively grounded for the most part?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? so many. i struggle with writing out of order, so when i get stuck on something i get STUCK. i have a tendency to repeat names a lot, i struggle with scene transitions and when to call a scene done. i'm also either always going way too over the top or way too underwritten, i struggle with finding a good middle! there are probably many more i could think of but i don't wanna get too in the weeds.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i haven't used other languages as far as i can recall? if i ever do i would try and get a native speaker to give it a read over, but otherwise i am afraid our old beloathed google translate would be carrying my ass.

19. First fandom you wrote for? that i published on the internet??? Homestuck. things that never saw the light of day?? shit man, i couldn't tell you. i've been thinking about cool things my blorbos could do since i was a kid.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? very biased, but wwbews. i genuinely think its some of my best work, my first ever completed longfic and i put so much time and love into it!!!

---

tags, if you're feeling like it!! @reverie-tales @starfall-spirit @shardminds @damedechance @cauldronblssd @climbthemountain2020 <3

[silentexplosive-diary]

7/22

Ugh.

My mood in one word. Ugh.

So, I've been writing this Tokyo Revengers fanfic since February, and I'm making pretty good headway so far. It's about 57 chapters long so far, somewhere around 90,000 words. It's my second fic in this particular fandom. I'm hitting writer's blocks more frequently though, and it's a little frustrating, but now I know better and know to just give myself some time until ideas come to me and then I can write again.

But right as I'm writing these last few chapters lately, I've found a new obsession in Heaven Official's Blessing. I bought all eight books and am currently reading book two. It's amazing so far, it's everything I want in a romance story. I could only dream of writing something as good as this.

I want to write a fanfic for it, and I have ideas, but I can't seem to get myself started while I'm already so deep into the TR project.

But while I'm fawning over the romance between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, I'm thinking about my own relationship and how it seems to be crumbling before me.

I haven't seen my partner since their birthday in May. Early May, at that. Their car finally died and they've been saving up for a new car, but haven't had luck with keeping a job lately. I feel for them, I really do, and I try to be as patient as I can. I'm just scared of whenever that patience is going to run out, or if I'm going to be stuck waiting for things to get better for them and it's actually too late.

At this point I'm even starting to wonder if I truly like them, all of their faults included, or if I just like being in a relationship.

I hope it's just that we need to reconnect physically to get back to where we were in our relationship before distance separated us, and then everything will reset and be okay again. I don't want to make a rash decision, but I also don't want to just sit and watch the same cycle happen over and over again with them.

I don't know, I think all I can do now is just delude myself into getting into the mindset of the characters in my fics that are in love and live vicariously through them and whatever I put them through, good or bad.

[avelera]

🌈 for the writing asks

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

OOF, SO MANY!

- Chapter 4 of Giving Sanctuary had four drafts, the Calliope chapter had something like eight versions of their conversations that I created, rejected, took pieces from, and polished up to the one that made it into the story. Ch. 21 also had a half dozen drafts and I'm still picking through them for stuff I want to use in ch. 22!

-Ch. 2 of "Joke's On You" is one of the hardest things I'll ever write just because it's been a kink I've been hiding basically my entire life that's not all that unusual but I completely melt down at the thought of talking about it, much less writing it. So of course I put the hardest thing to write at the beginning of the fic lol. There's like 40,000 words after it that I can just publish if I can get past that part lol.

-I poured my blood sweat and tears, not to mention a lot of personal trauma from being basically in Newt's situation re: Precursors (obscure reference, I know) while writing my Pacific Rim Newmann fics, "The Only Way Out is Down" and "Shanghaied" - they're the fics I'm most proud of in that fandom but yeah, basically ripped out my own heart and put it on the page to write them. Ch. 10 of "Only Way Out" is perhaps one of the chapters I worked hardest on for anything in my life as far as the nuance I put into it relative to my then-skill level.

-At one point while writing Prayers to Broken Stone I think I was writing and editing over 40 hours a week in addition to my job on that story. I definitely have done more than that lately for my Sandman fics but that was the first time I ever really counted so it sticks out to me in my memory.