#I tend to roll over a lot when sleeping on my own but I relax completely when he's by my side ^^

[massivementalitynut]

My Sleepy Sweethearts Couple Comm from @yetacomis

[lovemybluebully]

A Small Lapse of Judgement

What do you get when you cross a drunk Wolverine? Tickled. You get tickled. 🤣

Okay, yeah sorry guys. This one is literally like twice as long as my last one, but Logan and Wade both needed to get wrecked good. lol I'm just having too much fun writing these guys. So get some snacks or something because you're going to be here for a minute.

More somewhat movie spoilers, and Wade saying inappropriate things to Logan's annoyance. lol Oh, and of course tons of cussing. And tickles. Lots of tickles.

"Deadpool and Wolverine"-verse

M/M Tickle Fic

Word Count: 4,372

At first Logan had declined Wade's invitation to live with him at his apartment. Having been on his own for so long Logan didn't want to accept the fact that anyone actually wanted him around, but after Wade's persistent prodding and convincing he finally accepted.

"Yes!! It'll be like a sexy slumber party!" Wade had whooped, but one steely-eyed look from Logan made him turn it down, "Ahem. Or, you know, just two guys hanging out together with no lewd activities of any kind...."

No doubt Wade pushed Logan's buttons and got on his nerves more than anyone he had ever met in his life, but after their ordeal together there was no denying the bond that had been created between the two of them. It was hard for him to admit it, but Wade was definitely someone Logan now considered as a friend.

Surprisingly he settled in quickly and had begun to make himself comfortable, allowing him to let his guard down and actually relax for once. It was only a one-bedroom apartment so even though he had to sleep out on the couch every night he was grateful to have a place to call home.

And Wade was thrilled to have him there. Unlike his other roommate, Blind Al, Logan was progressively becoming more tolerant of his off the wall antics so it was nice to have someone else there that he could really joke around with. And drink with, though Logan still tended to embark on some solo day drinking of his own.

Wade shuffled into the living room in his crocs one late evening with Dogpool cradled in his arm to find Logan slouched over on the couch in nothing but jeans and a tank top and a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. Further observation revealed there to be two more empty bottles laying around on the ground by his feet.

"Hey. Robert Downey Jr. Wanna take it easy on the booze?"

Logan lazily looked up at him, rolling his eyes when he saw Wade was allowing the dog to lick all over his face.

"I will once ya take it easy on always making out with that mutt."

Wade stared at him in defiance as he continued to kiss Dogpool's head while she licked all around his mouth, making Logan grimace in disgust before Wade set her down upon the ten-sizes-too-big dog bed he had bought for her.

"You know if you were jealous all you had to do was ask, baby girl. There's plenty of Wade Wilson to go around," he leaped onto the couch beside Logan and puckered his lips, making smooching sounds as he tried to pull the other man close while Logan cursed and struggled to hold him back.

"Hey hey! Fucking knock it off, asshole!" Despite his annoyance he chuckled a little with the alcohol lightening his mood and after a few more seconds Wade finally relented to sit himself back.

"You can fight it all you want, but I know you'll come around one day. There's no resisting my natural labido," Wade sat facing him as he gave a wink and a flirty grin, causing Logan to sigh with a shake of his head and take another sip from the bottle.

"See this is exactly why I still drink. I need something to help tolerate your obnoxious ass on a daily basis."

"Fine by me. It has its benefits. Number one being that you're so much less stabby when you're like this," Wade teased, wiggling a finger into his side as Logan squirmed and giggled before swatting at his hand with boozed up coordination.

"Why are ya always tickling me? I hate that shit," Logan was still smiling though as he rubbed at his irritated ribs.

"Because," Wade smiled and turned to look out at the audience before whispering quietly under his breath, "The people demand it."

He sat staring in silence for several seconds until Logan lifted a brow in confusion.

"The fuck you looking at?"

"Nothing," Wade turned back to him, "Well it's because I have to make you laugh somehow, grumpy pants. You're always so serious, and worst of all you never laugh at my jokes."

"Oh yeah? Have ya tried actually being funny?"  A big shit eating grin was plastered on Logan's face as he instinctively pulled his arms in close to his body, not expecting Wade to let that one slide.

"Ooh hoo hoo, you're going to pay for that one later. You know what, smart ass? Maybe I'll tickle you in front of Laura. I'm sure she'd love to help me double team you sometime. A little badger on badger action, if you will." 

It was Wade's turn to smirk as Logan just looked back at him with nervous eyes that he tried to hide behind the scowl now creasing over his face.

"You'd better fuckin' not."

"I don't know. It's sounding like a pretty good idea to me. Usually I have to pay to see that kind of thing but-"

Logan growled as his claws started to come out, but Wade just laughed and wagged a finger at him.

"Ah ah ah! Rule number one, no bloodshed in the house. So best keep those claws of yours in check, my little kitty cat."

"Just don't give me a reason then," Logan warned, retracting the claws before his eyes raised to focus on Wade's head, "By the way, how long are ya gonna keep wearing that stupid toupee? I already told you that you ain't foolin' anyone with that thing."

Wade looked positively insulted as he patted and smoothed down the hair on his head.

"Uhmm excuse me? As I've told you a thousand times, it's a hair system. It's so I can go out in public looking halfway decent. Not all of us were blessed with the perfect bone structure of a successful Broadway actor," turns his head briefly to look at the camera, "And besides, I think it looks quite distinguished."

"I've seen better looking roadkill than whatever that thing's made out of," Logan snorted and downed the rest of the bottle in his hand before dropping it on the floor beside the other empty bottles.

"Says the guy who looks like he has roadkill glued to the sides of his face," Wade gave a less than gentle tug on his muttonchops as Logan grunted and smacked his hand away.

"Oh yeah? Well at least I can grow facial hair, pal. You on the other hand don't have a speck of hair on your whole goddamn body. You're like a fucking pre-pubescent child. This is what a real man looks like," a tipsy smirk crawled across his face as he nonchalantly pulled up his tank top to show off his hairy chest and stomach.

He emphasized his point by running a hand over his hirsute, muscular torso while Wade just stared very, very hard.

"........Are you trying to turn me on right now? Because it's working," Wade was smiling deviously and reaching a hand out as Logan chuckled dryly and gave him a hard shove, sending him flying to the other end of the couch, "Just so you know, I'm adding that one to the spank bank."

"You fucking wish, bub. Think ya got a better chance with that ugly ass dog of yours," he nodded over towards the sleeping pooch while tugging his shirt back down. 

It was rare to see such a repulsed look on Wade's face as the man always seemed to be down for whatever but apparently messing with the dog was where he drew a line.

"Woah woah, that's just going too far now. You need therapy, my friend."

"Oh please. I forgot you were the fucking poster child for mental stability," Logan muttered as he lifted his legs to prop his bare feet up on the coffee table in front of him.

"Heyheyhey! What in the ever-living fuck do you think you are doing? That's where we cut up our Bolivian nose candy-"

"I thought Feige said ya can't talk about that."

"Well what Feige doesn't know won't hurt him. Now let's go. Chop chop. Feet off the table, bud," Wade scolded and kicked Logan in the leg as the man rolled his eyes and begrudgingly pulled his feet down.

"You are such a fucking caveman. That table is an antique. Furniture crafted from the finest-OOof!" Wade grunted in pain as Logan dropped his feet onto his lap with his heel coming down hard onto his groin, "Uh uh nope. Not happening. Feet off the Deadpool too." 

"Well I gotta put 'em somewhere. What? Offended that ya weren't my first choice? Be flattered I finally found a good use for you," Logan smirked big time at the genuine outrage that now displayed on Wade's face.

"What the fuck do you mean?! You've seen what a phenomenal cook I am!"

"Almost burned down the apartment."

"I'm the king of late-night karaoke!"

"Got the cops called on us three times already."

"Well I'm good at making friends everywhere I go."

"I had to beat the shit out of all those bikers to get them off of you. Not to mention you almost got us banned from my favorite bar, you dumb fuck."

Wade started to pout from Logan shooting down all of his claims, but was quickly back to grinning as he thought of something that Logan couldn't possibly argue against.

"Okay, you know what? You wanna see something I'm good at? I'll show you something I'm very good at," Wade smirked and grabbed ahold of Logan's legs, securing his ankles in one arm as he began ruthlessly tickling the bottoms of his feet.

Logan lost any sense of calm he had as he immediately broke into a hysterical laughing fit, figuring out too late that he had made a huge mistake. There weren't many things in life that could get the Wolverine to lose his cool, but Wade Wilson the Tickle Monster never failed.

"Baahahahahahaha! Wahahahahade, dohohohon't!! Okaahaahaahaay! I'll mooohoohoove 'em!!"

Logan was far too buzzed to pull his usual act of fighting back his reactions and trying to pretend that he wasn't as horribly sensitive as he really was. Not that any of that ever discouraged Wade since he knew he'd always get him to crack eventually.

"Nah, that's okay. You just keep them right where they are, Giggles. Maybe this'll teach you some manners. Or not, that's okay too. I wouldn't want to run out of excuses to do this....," he scratched at the soles with Logan going nuts and frantically pulling at his captured legs while Wade's arm only squeezed tighter around them to ensure he wouldn't escape.

"Stahahahaaap, ya dihihihick! Fuhuhuhuckin' lehehehehe-lehehet me gohohohohooo!"

"What's that? Aww did you forget your safe word again? So confusing. How do I know if you really want me to stop or not?" The merc teased with his fingers scribbling at Logan's arches as the X-man's laughter surged in volume.

"Fuhuhuhuhuck you! Aaaheheeheeheehee nohohoho! Waahaait! I'm sohohohohorry!" He howled with tears already in his eyes as Wade found the weak spots under his toes; his body twisting and flopping around as he braced his arms on the couch in his clumsy attempts to get free.

Wade always enjoyed when Logan was in this state. Not only was he a lot less homicidal than if he was sober but he wasn't nearly as uptight and didn't even fight the tickles as hard. He practically just rolled over and took it and didn't hold much back. 

He suspected that Logan didn't hate being tickled nearly as much as he made out and loved to tease him about it much to the older man's insistent denial of the fact. It's likely that Logan would rather die than ever admit something like that.

Wade then cleared his throat and began to speak in his best exaggerated Australian accent.

"Crikey mate! Here we have the Wolverine. Best known for its violent tendencies and natural ability to be a complete jackass. When confronted by a stronger and more powerful predator it begins to make the most adorable snorting sounds that are meant as a sign of his submission. Let's listen in, shall we?"

Logan had been belting out uncontrollable snorts all throughout his laughter and it was one of Wade's favorite things to poke fun at him for.

"Shhh-Shuhuhuhut uhuhuhup! You're sohohohoho fuhuhucking stuhuhuhupid!"

"Oh, I'm fucking stupid? Who's the one making all the little piggy noises, Wilbur? Speaking of piggies....," Wade smirked as he started to play with his toes again, "This little piggy was an alcoholic....This little piggy was always so mean to his friend, Wade.....This little piggy talked shit about sweet little Dogpool....This little piggy..."

"Fuhuhuhuhuuuck! Alrihihihihight I gihihihive uhuhup! Haahahahaah! No-No mohohohore!" Logan had managed to pull a foot free and was now kicking Wade in the back as hard as he could, which wasn't very hard at all due his weakened state from laughing so much.

"No more? No MORE? Sorry, sweet cheeks. But I've got plenty more," Wade then threw his foot aside as he turned and dove onto Logan's prone form to now attack his very ticklish stomach, "That was for treating me like an object! This is for saying I'm not funny!"

Wade snickered with glee as the feral man expelled a less than manly squeal of giggles and immediately curled into a protective ball, though all attempts to evade were useless. Deadpool was positively relentless.

"Nooooohohohohohoo nohohohot thehehehehere! Okahahaay you're funny! You're fuhuhuhuhuhunnyyyyyaaahahahahahaaStaahahahahahaaap!"

"Oh sure! All of a sudden I'm just magically funny now! Don't insult my intelligence! You can't bullshit a bullshitter!" Wade managed to get his hands underneath Logan's shirt, raking his fingers up and down his bare stomach and forcing him to dissolve into a lengthy, mirthful wheeze.

"Why are you so ticklish? Is it part of your mutation? A result of a Weapon X experiment gone horribly wrong? Talk, damn you! I need answers!"

Not that Wade actually expected him to answer, but Logan was laughing entirely too hard and fighting it even less. He had his head thrown back in hysterics that exposed his oversized canines, writhing feebly while tears were leaking down his reddened cheeks.

It was a sight to see the normally powerful X-man rendered helpless from such a soft touch, but it just goes to prove that healing factors and big muscles were completely useless against a tickle attack.

Wade would have loved to keep tickling him all night, and he knew the man technically could take it with the high amount of stamina he possessed, but it was time to let him go now and save it for another time. Logan had been a good sport, and he didn't want to push it too far.

Pulling his hands back he now stood triumphantly hovering over the still giggling and plastered Wolverine, who kept his body all curled up in case the crazy merc decided to come for him again.

"Are you sure you're the Wolverine of legends? I mean, this isn't exactly what I had pictured. If I hadn't personally seen you in action then I'd have some serious doubts," he smirked as Logan finally relaxed and slowly splayed out on the couch.

"Heehehehe-That's the worst Wolverine to you, bub. You-hehehee-fucking suck," Logan continued to giggle as he struggled to fight off the dizzying high of the combined tickle assault mixed with the alcohol in his bloodstream. Wade was pleased to see he hadn't soured his mood.

"But do I swallow is the real question? Hehehe, sorry, I couldn't help myself. Now did you learn your lesson, you drunken idiot?"

Logan regained some sense of focus as he slowly sat up and looked up at Wade with the most cocky grin.

"Of course not. Gonna take a lot more than that, fucker."

"Do not tempt me, Peanut. I showed you mercy this time, but I cannot guarantee this next round I will be as charitable," Wade smirked and cracked his knuckles, surprised to see Logan lean back onto the couch with his arms folded behind his head.

"Pffft. You don't fuckin' scare me. You can do your worst. Though I'm sorry to say you're not gonna get the chance. Ya wanna know why?"

"Why?" Wade practically demanded with his hands on his hips.

"That's why." Logan lifted a hand to point behind Wade as the merc whirled around to confront what may have got the drop on him and found.....nothing. Nobody.

"Wait a minute.....did I really just fall for the oldest trick in the bo-AAAHCK!" Wade let out a scream as he was pounced from behind by a playfully growling Wolverine and landed hard on his stomach with his face hitting the floor. He had seriously misjudged the other man's current ability to fight back.

"Heheh, you really are a fucking idiot. Now let's see how you like this shit...," Logan immediately dug into Wade's ribs from where he sat perched on his back and was more than thrilled by the scream that ripped out of the merc's mouth. He knew there was no way a loudmouth like Wade wouldn't be ticklish.

"Nohohooo Logan wahahahahaait! Ahahaheeheehehehehe! You cahahahan't tihihihickle meheheee! I'm-I'm the 'ler! Nohohot yooooou!"

"The what? What the hell are ya talkin' about now?" Logan didn't let up though while Wade tried to sputter out an explanation.

"The cohohohommunity! Ihihihit's a thihihiing! I g-guess tehehehechnically I'm a swihihihihitch buhuhuhut stihihill!"

Logan raised his brows, looking more confused than before as he ended up just shrugging it off and shaking his head.

"Nevermind. I really don't wanna know. Now shut up and laugh, asshole," Logan's big hands ran up and down his sides, squeezing his waist and making it back up into his armpits as Wade flailed and shrieked and desperately tried to clamp his arms down.

Logan couldn't help but laugh at Wade's reactions with how he had barely started in on him yet.

"Geez. Have ya really been this fucking ticklish this whole time? Looks like we've got some time to make up for," his fingers fluttered around under Wade's arms, producing wild cackles as he wriggled like a worm and tried to scoot across the floor.

"Get off get off! Nooohahahahahaha! I'm nohohohohot tihihihicklish! I'm nohohohohohohot!"

"Well if you're not ticklish then all this shouldn't be botherin' ya, right? Or do you prefer me stabbin' ya better?" Logan smirked as he used the three middle fingers on each hand to simulate his claws as he repeatedly poked at Wade's ribcage with rapid fire speed, "Hehe, now you're dead."

"Gaahaahahahahaha!! Nohohohohot the clahahahahaws! Mehehehehercy!" Wade begged, trying to reach behind him to smack Logan's hands away. Spoiler alert, it didn't work.

"Mercy? Ha! That's a fuckin' good one. Hey, whaddya know. I guess you are funny after all. Hehehe, tickle tickle tickle, fuckface."

Wade's hysterics were increasing in volume by the second and Logan snorted in amusement at the thought that they might get the cops called on them for a suspected murder happening in the apartment.

"Holy shit. Keep it down, will ya? You're gonna wake the-"

"What in the name of Satan's asshole is that horrible noise?!?!" Blind Al shouted in annoyance as she wandered into the room and nearly tripped over the two men roughhousing on the floor.

"Blind Al! Blind Ahahahahal! Hehehehelp mehehehehe!" Wade screamed as he managed to roll over underneath Logan and reach out a desperate hand towards his elderly roommate.

"You're such a dick. Ya know ya don't have to emphasize that she's blind all the time, ya inconsiderate moron," Logan rolled his eyes with a smile as he now had better access to Wade's ribs and stomach and dug right in.

"Baahahahah-Buhuhuhut thahahat's her nahahahahame! B-Becahahahause she's blihihihind! Gehehehet ihihit?!"

The older woman's lips pursed with disdain.

"Please keep torturing him. I will sleep good tonight knowing that stupid motherfucker is suffering," she gently patted Logan on the shoulder as she turned around and made her way out of the room.

"You got it, boss lady," Logan nodded with a smirk and scratched furiously at Wade's stomach, easily avoiding the flailing hands trying to stop him.

"Blihihihihind Al! Aahahhahahha! You trahahahaahaahaitor! Ahahahafter ahahall I've d-dohohohone for yooohoou!"

"Maybe you could gag his bitch ass too," she yelled back over her shoulder, making Logan chuckle.

"She's got a point. You're loud as fuck. Always makin' fun of how I snort while you're over here shrieking like a fuckin' little girl."

With that, Wade was struck with inspiration as he thought of a way to get Logan to stop.

"Yehehehes! Oh yehehehes Lohohohogan! Dohohohn't stop! Th-Thahahat's ihihihit! Tihihihickle me! Tihihickle mehehehe untihihihil I pahahahass ouhohout!" Wade pretended to moan between his laughs as he put his hands flat against the floor to demonstrate that he had no intention of preventing the tickling, though it was a major struggle for him to keep them there.

Logan tilted his head as he stared down at Wade in bemusement.

"Can't tell if you're tryin' to psyche me out into stopping, or if you really do like it that much. I wouldn't put it past ya to actually enjoy being tickled. Not the weirdest thing about you. Either way, if ya say not stop then I won't," Logan smirked and proceeded to tickle him even harder as he kneaded into his hips.

"Noooooohohohoooo! Okaahahaay! I lihihihied! I cahahahan't tahahahahake it! Pleasepleaseplease stooohahahahoooop!" Wade squealed and kicked his legs around and uselessly tried to grab at the other man's wrists to pry him off.

"Now was that really a lie? Are ya sure it wasn't an educated wish?" Logan loved to bring that stupid shit up every once in a while, knowing it would get under Wade's skin.

"So fuhuhuhunny I forgohohot to lahahahaugh, ahahahasshole! Nohohow gehehet off meeeheeheeheee! You fuhuhuhucking mahahahade yohohohour point!" 

Logan was about to make another quip when he heard loud barking and turned his head to see Dogpool come flying over the back of the couch towards them in superhero slow-motion.

She then rushed in to grab Wade by the hair as she pulled with all of her tiny body weight trying to free him.

"Yehehehes! Mary Puhuhuhuppins! Saahahahave pa-pa! Thaahahahat's it!"

"Yeah.....that dog weighs like eight pounds. Hehehe, don't think you're getting away from me just yet, bub," Logan snickered as he dragged Wade closer and plunged his fingers into his armpits, earning another shriek as the merc futilely clamped his arms down and thrashed even harder.

"Looohohohogaaan staaahahahahahahap! I'm-I'm sohohohohoh glahahad to seeheehee-ahahahahhah-see yohohou ehehehembrace thihihis sss-sihihide of you buhuhuhut-AAAAHH! FUHUHUHUCK!!"

A loud ripping sound was heard as Logan looked up in wonderment to see Wade with a hand gripped to his now bald head as Dogpool stood there with his whole hair piece in her mouth.

Logan couldn't help it. The sight of Wade laying there with those fucking staples sticking out of his head and the dog now gnawing on his toupee like a chew toy was just too comical.

He started to laugh. Really laugh. Laughing too damn hard to keep tickling Wade as he literally fell over, holding his sides while his whole body shook in uncontrollable guffaws.

Wade was finally able to sit up as he glared at his hysterical friend, but he had a smile on his face too.

"Really?! That's what makes you laugh?! You seeing me getting hurt is funny to you? Pretty fucked up, you sado," he pretended to sound annoyed, but really he was anything but. It was rare to see Logan laugh like this besides when Wade was tickling him half to death so he'd let him have this for the moment.

Still he had to strike back somehow for this indignity.

"Puppins attack! Kill, my little munchkin! Kill!" Wade shouted as the dog rushed towards the fallen man and jumped onto him. But Dogpool didn't have a mean bone in her body and only knew how to attack with love as she affectionately licked Logan's face much to his aversion.

"Blech! Wahahade! Gehet your dohohog!" He bellowed as he continued to laugh, but other than trying to shield his face with his arms he didn't do much to stop her.

"Okay okay, come here, sweetie pie. Lets get you away from the bad man who tried to kill your pa-pa," Wade reached over and pulled her off of him, setting her into his lap.

Logan finally fought down the giggles as he sat up to find Wade staring longingly at the destroyed toupee in his hand. He kind of felt bad for the guy and thought he should offer some words of encouragement.

"Yeah, that thing's fucked. Big time. But hey, I think you look better without it," he nodded, using his shirt to wipe off his face as Wade gave him a genuine smile.

"You're only saying that because you're drunk," the merc teased back as Logan shrugged in response and grinned broadly.

"You're probably right. I wouldn't touch ya with a ten foot pole."

"That's okay. I don't mind doing all the touching...," Wade gave him a quick squeeze on the side as Logan snorted and lurched away from his reach and got to his feet.

"Don't fucking start that again. I'd say we're even now. Besides, you don't wanna fuck with me now that I know how damn ticklish you are. It's a stalemate. We can put this all behind us and move on. Now if ya don't mind I'd like to get some sleep," he waved the other man away as he grabbed some blankets off the back of the couch to set up his sleeping area.

Wade just smirked as he began walking out of the room with Dogpool in his arms.

"Silly silly Wolvie. I'm not sure you realize the implications of your actions. But I'm afraid this is far from over. You, my friend, have just started a war."

Logan's face fell as he only stared back at Wade in wide-eyed silence.

"Nighty night, Peanut. Sweet dreams," Wade smirked devilishly, waving with wiggling fingers as he flicked off the light switch on the wall.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Eddie Munson's family dinner

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 23

Prompt: Uncle Wayne adopts Steve

Rated: M

CW: nudity

Tags: Modern AU; Rockstar Eddie; Royal Steve; Established relationship

Notes: Continued from days 11 and 14. I can't get this AU outta my head, halp!

Eddie can't recall the first time he saw Steve. 

In all likelihood, he was two years old and Steve a tiny, wrinkly baby. His face was all over the news in the days and weeks following his birth, after all. Cradled in his mother's arms, staring bleary-eyed into the world as newborns tend to do - only that in his case, the entire world was staring back. The birth of the King's and Queen's first child had been long-awaited after all, a once-in-a-generation event. 

In the years that followed, Steve was always just … kind of there. A strange-but-familiar boy who kept popping up on TV and the front pages of magazines, living a life so different they may as well have been from different planets. 

Eddie still remembers fixing dinner in the trailer's tiny kitchen one night, news droning in the background. 

"Poor kid," Wayne grumbled. 

Eddie, sixteen and a giant shithead at the time, paused in putting the plates down on the table and glanced up to follow his uncle's gaze to the TV. 

"Oh yeah, woe is him. Must be so fucking hard, living in a palace. Having an army of servants to wipe your ass and shit." 

On the TV, the Prince sat between his parents at some sports event or other, a tiny carbon copy of his father with his Italian suit and carefully styled hair. Clapping at all the right times, face a polite, empty mask of a smile.

Wayne huffed. "Ain't no kid deserve that kinda shit. Always under scrutiny, paraded around like some trained dog." 

Eddie rolled his eyes and changed the topic and they didn't talk about it any further. 

*

Wayne's plates are still the same ones that Eddie was putting on the table all those years ago. Eddie has offered time and again to buy something new, but the stubborn old shit won't have it. Insists that Eddie already bought him a whole-ass house with the money from that first record deal, a car after the second, he won't die of a chipped plate or ten, thank you very much. He'll just have to get him new ones for Christmas, he guesses.

"This is delicious, Mr Munson," Steve is saying. He's sitting next to Eddie, back ramrod straight, elbows at a perfect angle, dissecting the meatloaf with careful precision. 

Like some trained dog. 

"My mom's recipe," Wayne hums, but then he sets down his own cutlery, expression serious. "Now … what are your intentions with my nephew?" 

Eddie flushes about twenty shades of crimson. Incidentally, so does Steve. 

"I …" he sputters, all traces of composure suddenly gone. "Well, I like Eddie a lot." 

"I figured …" Behind Wayne's beard, his mouth twitches. "Seeing how you're wearing his clothes and all." 

Steve blinks down at himself. They make sure to keep it low-profile when they're together. The paparazzi never sleep, after all, and they've both had their fair share of run-ins with the fuckers in the past. Which is why he's wearing a red-and-black flannel he stole from Eddie, faded and soft from too many cycles in the wash. Eddie wants to burn all the Italian suits in the world, wrap him up in soft and comfy clothes always. 

"Um …" Steve says. 

Wayne smiles. 

"Relax, son, I'm pulling your leg." If he notices how Steve tenses at the word son, he graciously ignores it. "Now are ya gonna take my boy's hand, or what?" 

Steve gapes. 

"Might as well," Eddie winks, takes the knife from Steve’s limp fingers and entwines their hands. "He'll just keep nagging until he gets what he wants." 

Their gazes lock and Steve smiles. Not a mask. The real one. The one where his eyes light up and he looks five years younger. The one that Eddie is rapidly becoming addicted to. 

He turns back to eating his dinner one-handed and remembers another boy, a boy from a very different planet, getting coaxed out of his shell over the same plates, the same meatloaf. 

Fuck the plates, he decides. Wayne is getting a whole damn kitchen for Christmas, whether he likes it or not. 

*

"He's a great guy, your uncle," Steve mutters into Eddie’s chest later that night. They're all curled up in Eddie’s bed and he's naked except for the flannel. He claims it's to ward off the cold air seeping in through the open window, and Eddie isn't about to argue. Not when the sight does things to him. 

"Sort of thought he was gonna hate me," Steve continues, and Eddie hums quizzically. 

"Why's that?" 

"Hm, let's see …" Steve's brow crinkles in mock-thought. "He raised the guy who wrote two top-ten songs about how much the monarchy sucks, that could've been a hint." 

"Nah," Eddie chuckles. "Guy would've adopted you as a kid, if he could've. He's always loved you, way-" 

Large hazel eyes blink up at him and the words get stuck in his throat. 

Because he hasn't said it yet, even though he's rapidly coming to accept that it's true. 

Way before I did.

"And apart from that," he says instead, "if you marry me, I'll be a princess. What parent doesn't want that for their kid?" 

"Hold your horses," Steve grumbles, but his eyes are sparkling again. "We can't get married if your uncle adopts me." 

"Shame," Eddie quips and presses him down into the pillows. "Would've loved to wear a tiara on stage, that sounds like a killer look."

Eddie doesn’t recall the first time he saw Steve, but he doesn’t really think it matters. Not when he gets to see the real him now, with no-one else watching. Blushing and naked, lips kissed pink, glowing with happiness.

It's an image he's sure he won't forget.

Part 4

All my holiday drabbles

[blueberry69x]

Leon Scott Kennedy x fem! Reader smut for you to enjoy, all credit goes to me as I've written it! Have funnnn ;).

Six years ago:

As I place my hand on his thigh he looks up at me, I don't exactly know what to tell him anymore so I decided that my actions indeed speak louder than my words.

He looks.. Broken almost, I know this has been a lot on him but god.. I just, I want to help him, I want to.. I wanna kiss him, so badly. So as he goes to say something, I lean in, cup his cheek and press my lips to his, he stills for a moment, but only for a moment before he relaxes and returns the kiss. I pull back and he looks at me, a slight blush on his cheeks as he looks a bit stunned. "We will be okay, Leon." I promise. Giving his thigh a squeeze before removing my hands off of him completely.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○

I bite my lip as I look down at the pavement. I know he made it out alive- Well.. My instinct is telling me he did and it's killing me not knowing where he is, who he is with, what he's doing.. What if he did get hurt?

As I look up and see the fire exploding from out the burning building I can't help but wonder.

I'm hiding in an alleyway, I had gotten out just a few moments before the big explosion happened.

Then.. Suddenly.. I see him, emerge from beneath the heavy layer of smoke that hangs over and before the building. Together with his companion. Claire. Though he looks around panicked. I see him say something to Claire and she looks around as well.

Maybe I should make myself known. Or maybe I shouldn't.. Maybe I should keep myself hidden, push back what I really wanna do.. Run over and kiss him again, tell him we'll be okay. I bite my lip hard again, something I tend to do a lot when in doubt of what to do.

Though as I stand here deciding what I should be doing next, Leon seems to only get more nervous. Walking further away from the building with his friend. "Claire, I swear to god if we can't get a lead on her I'm going back in there." I hear him faintly say.

"No you're not." Claire says. "I get it, you're worried, but you've seen her, she can handle herself just fine. I'm sure she got out and is around here somewhere, or maybe she already went home."

"Maybe.." He says and sighs.

Fuck it. I can't do it. I can't stay away when he's so worried for me.

"Leon?" I walk out of the alleyway and let out a pant of my own, his eyes instantly find mine and he smiles, relief written all over his face. "Y/n.. Thank god." I smile back just slightly as I make my way over to them. "Y/n. Expected nothing less." Claire shoots me a cheeky smile and I give her a nod.

"No one got hurt?" I ask and Claire shakes her head. "Luckily not.. Besides a few scratches." I give another nod and look back at Leon. "Ready to get out of here and go home..?" Claire then speaks up again quickly.

"You live close to here?" Leon asks me and I shake my head. "About an hour walk.." I shrug to which he looks back at Claire. "Well.. How about you come back to my place? Get all cleaned up and I can drive you both home after." He suggests.

I smile, cause.. A shower sounds so wonderful right now. Claire gives us a small smile. "I live closeby too. I can make it home easily. Just a few miles from here. Thanks for the offer, though."

"Ok." Leon says with a sheepish smile.

"I'm sure I'll see you around.. We should go out together sometime Y/n.. For drinks?" I cock my head to the right. "Sounds good, I'll hold you to that.''

"Leon." She looks up at him. "Claire." He says looking down at her. "See you around too."

○ ○ ○ ○ ○

I step out of his shower with a sigh. That was amazing... Truly and after I get into a t-shirt of Leon's he kindly let me borrow I walk back out into his bedroom, calm and collected. "You okay?'' He asks me and I smile. "Never been better partner." I tease to which he rolls his eyes.

"You wanna crash here?" He asks me and I nod. "Yeah if you don't mind, I am totally fine sleeping on the couch by the way." I quickly say before Leon even has the chance to offer me his bed. If... He was planning on doing so in the first place-..

Fuck. When did he get so close to me? My mind turns into a puddle as soon as I stare up into his bright blue eyes. "Leon?" I ask and raise an eyebrow. "You're not sleeping on the couch." He says, his voice low and husky. Shit. Wait when did he get this close to me?

"I... Uh.. Oh?" Oh? That's all my brain can come up with? Seriously..?

"I wouldn't wanna steal your bed away.. I mean.. I wouldn't steal it but I would be-.."

"Shut up."

And I do, because he kisses me, his lips are so soft and so are his hands which are placed on my cheeks. One of them slowly sliding down to the back of my neck. And I take it, everything he is willing to give me.

Wrapping my arms around his neck as I kiss him back I jump against him, my legs around his waist.. Wordlessly he grabs my hips in his rough hands and I press myself against him.

He brings us to his bed and lays me down under him. Still kissing me. I run my hands through his blonde locks and arch my back up against his hard chest.

"Leon~.." I moan softly as he burries his face in the crook of my neck, sucking, nipping.. His hand finds its way up and under my shirt. He twists my nipple between his fingers and I'm a goner. A total goner.

"God you're so fucking hot Y/n." He groans against my skin, his words sending shivers down my spine.

I tug at his shirt. I want it off. Everything, I want everything off, our clothes are in the way. "Please. Fuck me." I mutter the words before they have even fully processed in my mind.

Leon lifts his head, pulls his shirt off over his head and grins down at me. "Your wish is my command."

I eye him up and smile as I run my hands down his hard chest and abs. I should've expected this.. He's a trained cop, of course he's built but still.. He's.. He's perfect.

Once I have his pants off as well and his fingers are pumping in and out of me I grip his shoulders and sink my nails into them. His fingers are long and wet.. From me. God I need him closer.

I tug him closer to me and kiss along his beautiful square jawline. I grind myself down on his fingers and am about to come.. Just as I am about to though, Leon pulls his fingers out of me and I whimper at the loss of him.

I claw at his boxers he's still wearing for.. God knows what reason.. I pull them down and my mouth falls open at the sight of his cock. He's big. He's.. Perfect.. I arch up against him and rub myself on his hard dick.

"Leon.. I want you now." I breathe out and I look up at him through hooded eyes, his chest heaving. "I'm on the pill." I say as I push him on his back and straddle his hips. Quickly holding him under me I lower myself on him and let out soft pants while working him inside me and once he is.... I feel so full, like he could split me in fucking half.

"Fuck.. Fuck Y/n." Leon groans lowly and closes his eyes for a few seconds. Desperately grabbing at my hips, so hard. There will definetly be bruises there tomorrow morning and I love it.

I rock myself against him. Stretching myself out even more as I look down at him, hands planted on his chest while his stay on my hips. The friction of his pelvis against my clit is so fucking good I might come soon, I feel close already.

Slowly I lift up and I lower myself back down on his big cock. He lets out grunts and groans and it just spurs me on, I moan as I quicken the pace, riding him hard.

His cock twitches deep inside my pussy and I know he's close, so am I, grinding against him, bouncing on his dick.. Chasing my orgasm while also getting him there. "Keep going baby, fuck.. Y/n." Leon grunts and squeezes my tits in his big hands as I whimper and tip over the edge.

I come, my walls squeezing his dick tightly, making me moan out his name. "Leon-..." I pant and he comes inside me. Filling me up so beautifully.. I keep moving until I'm sure we've both landed back on planet earth and I look down at him. Brushing his crazy hair out of his face with a smile.

Quickly he has me in his arms and I listen to his soothing heartbeat until we both fall asleep..

○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Oh fuck, oh shit. Oh hell. Fucking shit... I need to be quiet. But I can't help it. He looks so beautiful, all sleepy and messy and naked. God he's naked and- Pure perfection.. Sleeping so calmly, even a small smile is playing at his lips.

I hate what I'm about to do. I fucking hate myself for it. I know the type of guy Leon is. I assume he'd wake up later and if I were still there he'd make me breakfast, maybe take me out later on. And that hurts. I feel like he's the type of guy that doesn't do casual sex, if he sleeps with someone it means something..

Neither do I, no casual hook ups and only when it means something will I ever be intimate with someone.. But I can not risk it, not with my job not with his.

So as much as I want to stay I need to go. Feeling the delicious sting between my legs distracts me temporarily as I glance over at Leon just one last time. I can not help myself as I place a kiss on his lips, just one last time.. Before I take off my necklace. It's silver and has a cat charm on it.

I lay it on his bedside table. He'll throw it away as soon as he realizes I'm gone but at least I left him something, something to remember me by.

As I look over my shoulder, I take in the apartment building Leon lives in and I take a deep breath as I walk off.

I know, I'm selfish.

Present time:

He's here. I know he is. They got her, the one he is searching for, maybe I'm even more selfish than I was all those years ago but I just had a feeling they'd send him out here and I had to go see for myself. I was told he changed, do I believe that? Not a chance.

I look around. Everyone seems to have left here, a few corpses lay on the ground and I see a few bullets here and there. He was here.

And from the sounds of it, he's in a bit of trouble right now. I could hear the commotion from a mile away.

I rush over there and decide I shall save him, just this once. I glance inside a window and see him. The enemy big and strong looking. I take out my gun and shoot right past Leon's frame. Having no doubt that's him anymore, because it fucking is. And if anything, he just looks... More trained, more mature.

The bigger, almost alien looking man gets startled and I see Leon's head turn, but before he can get a glimpse of me I'm gone.

He can handle himself, I know that.. So I leave him be for some time. Knowing I will soon enough be face to face with him again.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Maybe he thinks he can rest here. Maybe he just needs a little break, I'd understand that honestly. Or maybe he knows something... Maybe he's waiting until I make myself known, I know he is smarter than I think he is, I won't underestimate him. Which is why I walk up behind him with my gun pointed right at him. "I'd drop my gun right now if I were you Leon." I say, trying my best to remain calm.

And so he does just that. He drops his handgun and holds up his hands where I can see them. I walk closer to him. To the side of him and he lets out a sigh that almost sounds unimpressed. "Well after six years, that is one hell of a greeting." He says and I clench my jaw, he remembers me, I don't know why that surprises me, but it does.

"Y/n." He says as he turns his head over his shoulder to look at me.

I smile. Or try to and cock my head. "So we meet again." I still have my gun pointed right at him and fuck he looks so damn good. My heart races in my chest and I can assume I definetly look tougher than I feel.

He stands still for a little longer before suddenly in just the fraction of a second he pulls out his knife and aims for me. I dodge and we go back and forth for a bit before his knife is right against the skin of my throat. I let out a soft 'hm' and he stares at me. "Try using knives next time, better for close encounters."

"Impressive." I say and I see now is his turn to cock his head. "So.. Why are you here? Who are you working for this time?" So he's heard I've been working for a few different people. Interesting.

I smirk. "Oh Leon, you know I don't kiss and tell." I say. "Leave the girl.. She's a lost cause no matter what."

"You think I'm going to just give up? That easily? You don't know me at all, do you?" I look at him and shrug at his words before walking away.

"Right." I say, looking at him over my shoulder.

"Why did you leave, then?" Okay, no beating around the bush.. I sigh. "I'll see you again soon, Leon, we'll continue this discussion." I try to leave after that, going out the window.. I hear Leon make a sound. It sounds like a scoff... Then he grabs my wrist.

I look at where he touches me and I look up into his eyes. He's wearing the cat charm.

"Y/n. Talk, now." He insists as he pins me a look with those piercing blue eyes. I look at him and sigh. "Fine Leon, you wanna know why I left fine. I will tell you-." I nod.

"I... Uh.. So I knew like I felt like it was.. I- Fuck me." I sigh. Get your head back in the game Y/n.. That damned charm had distracted me....

Leon lets go of my wrist gently and I think about escaping but feel it wouldn't matter if I say it now or later. "Sorry.. It would be selfish of me to-.. I knew that it would be selfish of me to start something with you, because of my work, because of the jobs I do because at some point I would've had to stab you in the back and I wouldn't ever be able to forgive myself for it if that happened."

Leon looks at me in question, like he wants to as so much more but he stays quiet for a beat. "I never sleep around, I'm not like that I'm sorry.. I dragged you into my mess for a bit. I know I'm selfish for what I did..... For leaving without anything. I owed you an explanation, I fucking know that- I hate that I hurt you-.."

"You didn't." He quickly says. "You didn't hurt me Y/n, you crushed me." He corrects me and I'm pretty sure I feel my heart shatter just a little more. "I thought I did something wrong, I tried to find you for days after, I didn't know where you lived. I didn't know where to find you, I asked around if- if anyone knew someone with your name but nothing fucking came out of it."

"Was I just a quick fuck huh? Just so you could forget your problems for a little while, just so you could use me for a bit only to just throw me aside after like I meant nothing to you? Is that it Y/n? Well- I'm a one lady type of guy, believe it or not.. I don't just jump into bed with the first girl who throws herself at me."

"Leon I-." "I don't even know what to say to you anymore. I held hope too. I was hoping maybe you'd come back to me. You knew where I lived, surely you could've." He cuts me off with a shrug.

"But, I understand, I was naïve and young and I really liked a girl I thought really liked me too. I gave you my all, I showed you myself in the most.. Vunerable way possible, I was as close to you as people can get and I opened myself up to you in a way I don't do often, only to be shut down right afterwards, you humiliated me."

I try and fail to keep up my tough demeanor as I blink rapidly as tears fill my eyes without me wanting them to, I nod and cross my arms over my chest as I stare at him.

"I- I don't.. God.. I- I'm so sorry Leon.." I mumble and wipe at my cheeks where tears began rolling down some time ago. "I wasn't.. I haven't stopped thinking about you- Fucking hell I know it means nothing but I haven't stopped thinking about you, about us.. Ever since. I wanted to come back so many times, I didn't think you ever wanted to see me again.. Which you had every right to- Even right now, you have every right to feel this way and to hate me. I do want you to know. I don't regret a single thing of what happened between us. I wish.. I could change what I did but I can't.. I really liked you too.. Leon.. I really like you, still and it's killing me hearing about how much I hurt you."

"I won't ask for your forgiveness.. I do ask you to let me help. Let me help with the girl, that is the least I can do." I say and Leon's gaze remains on me, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, eyes full with emotion. All he does is nod. "Ok." He says and turns around, picking back up his fireaerm before walking away like he expects me to follow, which I do. Letting out a shaky breath.

Some part of me relieved.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○

"Leon!" Ashley and I both shriek and I rush towards him. Lord Saddler just exploded all over this place and we need to get out of here though.. Leon was hit at the last second by spiky tentacle.

I helped him some here and there but mostly stayed behind with Ashley to protect her, few words were said between Leon and I but I didn't mind, I understood.

"Leon... No-.. No.. This-.." I stutter as I place his head in my lap as Ashley kneels down beside me and puts a hand on his abdomen. "Hey- Hey stay with me, we can't lose you, not now. We need to get off this island." I say to him. "That's all we have to do before we're safe... You did it. It was you, you beat him."

Ashley groans as she applies as much pressure as she can to his wound. Blood gushing out. All I see is red.. My chest heaves with the beginning phase of a panic attack and I brush his hair aside as I cup his cheeks. "Goddamnit Leon wake up." I grunt and Ashley takes her big scarf. "We need to get him up, I can wrap this around the wound." She says and I nod in agreement as I pull him up together with Ashley.

We barely manage it since he's very.. Muscular and we're just two girls trying our best. I hold him up as Ashley wraps the scarf around him tightly before tying a knot. "Let's get to the lift." She suggests and we carry Leon's unconscious body there. One of his arms over my shoulder and the other over Ashley's.

We luckily manage to carry him to the water. "Get him on this boat." I say and Ashley nods. We grunt and groan as we get him on there. I sit in front of Leon and let him lean against me while Ashley makes sure he stays in and doesn't move too much while being sandwiched between us.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○

As the place explodes Ashley and I watch.. "We did it.. He.. Did it." I say as I look at Ashley. "Hey.." She places a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, I know you care, so do I.. Without him I wouldn't be here right now." She says and I nod as I chuckle through my tears.

"I-.. I.. He can't just die on me Ashley, not after everything. He can't.. He's too buff to die." I mumble and Ashley rubs her eyes as well as she smiles. "He will be fine. Let's go home.... It will be okay-.."

"Since when have you been so emotional?" I hear a deep voice ask and I look behind me. Leon is sitting up, clutching his abdomen as he sends me a weak smirk I've grown to adore so much. "Leon!" Ashley immediately hugs him. "I thought you were gonna die!" She mumbles and he pats her back with his free hand. "Ok." He mumbles back and smiles sheepishly.

"Y/n." He says and I smile happily. "Leon." I say back and he looks at me. "We have a lot to talk about, but I'm sure we'll figure it all out. We will be okay." He says and I look at him in surprise. "You mean-?"

He nods. "I mean." He replies with and sends me a grin.

They lived happily ever after (and had four babies).

[callsign-rogueone]

cuddles - b.s.

Brennan Sorrengail x reader words: 565 🏷: no book spoilers, just thoughts about cuddles with Bren [re: this ask]. gender neutral + no pronouns used. brief mentions of the following things, but they aren’t described in any detail: reader and/or Brennan being injured or sick, having nightmares, stress, and worrying about your partner / being afraid of losing them again. one (1) implication of sexual activity at the end but it’s incredibly mild and left up for interpretation. not edited, just a ramble / headcanons. posting this from my bed, wishing I had a brennan here with me right now :(

Bren is absolutely a cuddler behind closed doors, when it’s just him and his partner around.

it’s definitely a stress reliever for him to just be held and relax with you, to take his mind off of preparing for war. everywhere else, he’s the stern, responsible Lieutenant Colonel, but inside your room, he’s just your Bren, and he likes to be babied sometimes. he deserves it! hold him. massage the stress out of his shoulders. be the big spoon for him sometimes (even if you’re shorter/smaller than him, he still loves it). let him lay his head on your lap / chest / etc and play with his hair and read aloud to him from whatever book you’re in the middle of. warning you though, he’ll probably fall asleep and trap you there for a good hour because he’s so tired all the time.

you’ve both been through so much, and sometimes he just likes to have you close, feeling the warmth of your body and your heartbeat and your breathing, as a reassurance that you’re still alive, still here with him 🥺 especially if one of you has a nightmare, or something scary happened to either of you that day — if you were seriously injured, he’s mending you immediately, obviously, but then he’s not letting you out of his sight. he’s taking the afternoon off and taking care of you, and that includes hours of cuddles. 

and he’ll do it as a reassurance for you, too. if you’re crying / injured / overwhelmed, etc., he’s scooping you into his arms and holding you close while he figures out what’s wrong and how to fix it for you, because that’s what Brennan does, he fixes things. but if it’s not an immediately urgent issue, he’s happy to cuddle you a while to help you feel better first.

and it’s a subconscious thing for him too. even when he’s asleep, he’ll reach for you, curling into your side when he finds you. he just wants to be close to you, as it’s a comfort to him. he falls asleep a lot easier and stays asleep longer when he can feel that you’re around. if he’s sick or recovering from an injury (like in the last six years), you need to be close to him — not just for your own reassurance and because you want to take care of him, but also because he’ll drag himself out of bed to find you if you leave. 

on nights where it’s too hot to cuddle, you have to settle for falling asleep holding hands, which works for a few minutes — until one of you wants to roll over — but it’s good enough for him. 

also, I stand by the fact that he’d have the most comfortable bed. he’s the top commander of the revolution, so he’d theoretically have the nicest room, and because he’s so tired from running the army and mending people and teaching a class now, too, I think he would value having a nice soft place to sleep when he can. a big mattress that you can stretch out on, lots of pillows and some very nice blankets.

and I am legally obligated to make this suggestive, because it’s Brennan: cuddling is a requirement after ~certain activities~. and also, cuddling tends to turn into ~certain activities~ quite often — when you’re not too tired, that is. 😉

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Crushed 12

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, cheating, sleazy behaviour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your next door neighbours hook up, bringing to surface deep-seated feelings.

Characters: Colin Shea, Jonathan Pine

Note: I am very sick rn and didn't sleep.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you like my dog loves belly rubs (that’s a lot). Take care. 💖

Jonathan closes the door and flips the small looped bar in front of it. You put your work bag on the counter and cling to it, bowing your head as you close your eyes. You’re mortified. More than you’re afraid, you are embarrassed. He must think you’re so pathetic.

“I’m sorry–” you begin.

“How long has this been going on?” He asks abruptly.

You open your eyes and breathe out. You leave your bag as it is and shrug. You cross your arms and turn your back to him.

“You really don’t have to stay. You can sneak out once it gets dark–”

“I’m not leaving,” he insists, “and you’re going to answer the question.”

That tone. So rigid it slices into you. That’s how a boss talks. That’s what he is. Your superior. He holds your job in his hands and you’ve already dragged him down into the dirt of your life. You pace and hug yourself.

“A few days?” You utter, “it’s my fault. I… just a stupid crush. I don’t know why I ever thought I was good enough. I don’t know why I’m saying all this. I should’ve left him alone, that’s all it is. I did it to myself.”

You look around. The apartment is the same mess you left behind. The ruin that Colin inflicted upon your safe space. Why are you so stupid?

“You can’t blame yourself for his actions. He did this, didn’t he?”

You shrug again.

“So you felt something for him, that isn’t a crime. But this,” he slowly strides closer, brushing by as he passes and puts the coffee table upright, “this is. You’re too good for him, fawn. He knows it and so he acts out like the child he is.”

“You don’t have to lie–”

“I know it isn’t my place to say all this. Admittedly, I’ve crossed a lot of professional lines in the last few days but it doesn’t worry me. Because when I see someone like you who needs help, well, I don’t think so much of red tape.” He tidies up the strewn coasters and stacks them neatly.

“Please, don’t– I’ll clean all this up.”

“You will do no such thing. I am overriding your authority,” he declares, “not as your boss, but I hope, your friend. So, I will tell you exactly what you will do,” he smiles as he takes a book off the floor and smooths the pages before closing it, “you will go and choose some cozy nightclothes and I will run you a hot bath. And you will take your time and relax. I will tend to all of this.”

“I… Jonathan,” you drop your arms and clasp your hands together, “I’m not helpless. I don’t need–”

“You do need this. You need to let yourself not think. For just a little.” He stands and removes his jacket. You watch him drape it over the back of the couch and he unbuttons his cuffs, rolling them up, “you nearly passed out from fright in my kitchen this morning. I think this is much more serious than you're admitting.”

“He’s just mad–”

“And I’ve seen what angry men do,” he interjects, “I don’t want to scare you further but a door is just a door. These things are just things,” he gestures to the clutter of your belongings tossed around the apartment, “but you are not replaceable. You must take care of yourself first and if I must put on my boss voice and order you to do so, then that is what is what I will do.” He pushes his shoulders back and clears his throat, “I expect you to be bathed and nestled into bed within the next two hours.” He checks his watch, “so darling, you’ve a deadline to meet.”

You blink. You don’t have the strength or energy to argue. As always, you’re weak. You slump your shoulders and pull your hands apart.

“Okay…” you accept meekly.

“I will have a tea ready with your bath as well,” he says, “tea is always a good cure for whatever ails.”

You nod and pivot reluctantly on your heel. You peek at the door before you head down the hall. You can't believe this. Your neighbour is insane and your boss is cleaning up your apartment.

You enter the bedroom and stop short. Your bedspread is a mess, wrinkled and shoved to one side. In your haze, you hadn't noticed when you came to grab your things. You'd only been thinking of an escape.

Inching closer, you notice something else. A stain on the sheet. Crusted and dry. Are you serious? 

You hold back a scream. Instead you rip the blankets to floor and strip the sheet by the corner, crumpling it to lay with the rest. You are absolutely repulsed by what he's done. He's tainted every part of your life.

You step back breathless. You can't do this. You can't handle this. This isn't what you wanted. You just wanted to be wanted. Is that such a crime?

You hear the bathroom faucet squeak. The noise pierces your self-pitying cloud and you turn to your dresser, pulling open the drawer and grabbing a night gown blindly. You go to the bathroom door and peer in.

Jonathan stands straight, bracing his hips as he rolls his shoulders. He turns slowly, his eyes drifting to you as he flinches in surprise.

"There you are. A hot bath and tea," he gestures to the mug on the corner of the counter. "I've left the bag in to steep."

"Uh, thanks, that's... too much. Really, I'm all good. I don't need anything else."

"Of course, I'll leave you to it," he raises his hands and comes forward, sidling past you into the hall, "but I will be at hand if you call for me."

You hum dully and step inside. You close the door gently and gust out a long sigh. You put the nightgown down and look at yourself in the mirror. 

Maybe you should just quit and cut your losses. Go back and live with your mother so she can compare you to your sisters. So you know your worth clearly and don't get any more silly or dangerous ideas.

💗

The hot water takes over and you let yourself ease into it. Still, you are innately aware of the activity on the other side of the wall. Jonathan moves with purpose but also caution, you can tell he’s doing his best not to disturb you. That amount of consideration is flattering but unfamiliar.

When the water is lukewarm, you get out, drying off with the waiting towel. You have no urgency. Reluctant to go out and face reality and your unexpected houseguest. You pull on your nightgown, a pinkish sheath pattern with clusters of petals. 

You emerge, peering up and one the hallway before tiptoeing out. You go to the bedroom, intent on hiding away. There, you find a set of fresh sheets pulled over the bed and blankets neatly folded down at the top. He is thorough.

You can’t help the pang of guilt in your chest. You should at least thank him before you sink into self-pity. You should maybe even consider finding a new job and ease his burden completely. You don’t expect with how it’s gone so far, that you’ll be holding onto your position much longer.

“Ah, something smells wonderful,” Jonathan frightens you as he strides down the hall behind you.

You turn in the doorway, nearly choking on a surprised guffaw. He’s exchanged his sleek tailored suit for the fluffy red house robe you never use. You almost forgot you had that.

“Um,” you tilt your head curiously, “what happened–”

“I got a bit carried away. I thought to wash the bedding, then I saw the hamper, and finally, I realised I won’t have anything clean to wear tomorrow so I took the liberty of putting everything in–”

“You’re doing laundry?” You furrow your brow.

“Well, I regret to inform you I made the executive decision to dispose of your former bedding. I’m certain you understand,” he hooks a long thumb in the pocket of the robe. It’s barely at his knees and his shoulders keep it from closing above the middle of his chest. “I was only coming to ask if you’re hungry. It’s well past supper time.”

“Er, I’m okay,” you back up, “I think I’m just going to lay down for the night. I’d hate to miss another day of work.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” he says, “but if you wish, I will let you be.”

“Or… I guess I should stay up and help you with the laundry–”

“Ah, no, I’ve a handle on all that, you rest. I don’t want you lifting a finger,” he puts a hand on his hip and you notice how the bottom of the rob shifts, just a little. Eyes up. “More tea?”

“No thank you,” you clutch your hands in front of your chest. You’re not wearing a bra and the realisation is making it more obvious. “I, uh, I’ll just go to bed, but, um, if you do need help–”

“I won’t, please,” he puts his palms up, “you deserve a night of peace.”

You smile at him. A small smile, the most you can muster. Your eyes flit away shyly and you stare at the wall.

“You’re too nice–”

“I don’t think so. I only think you’re not used to kindness,” he insists, “I shall do my best not to disturb you.”

“Thanks,” you back up into the bedroom and rest your hand on the knob, “I won’t mind if you do.”

“Nor would I,” he says, “were you to disturb me. I mean, if you require anything, you may simply ask, darling.”

A sweltering moment of tension wedges between you. You chew your lip and turn slowly on one heel. You reluctantly inch the door towards the frame, “good night, Jonathan.”

“Good night,” he purrs back as you gently shut the door.

You stop and lean against it. You won’t let yourself overthink this. Not again. You’ve learned your lesson. You are not special, only pathetic.

💗

Sleep hits you harder than you expect. The adrenaline of your day fizzles and leaves you burnt out. You drift into a thick slumber,  swept up in nonsensical recreations of the waking world. Colin’s angry voice and Jonathan’s gentle touches smother you, cornering you, suffocating you in the void of your subconscious.

Your anxiety peaks and snaps you back to the world. More than the pluck in your stomach, there is something else tugging at your consciousness. You roll over and groan as the tinkling melody quiets. It’s not your ringtone. You can’t even remember where you left your phone.

You look at your alarm clock. It’s after four in the morning. You can’t believe you’ve slept so long. You still have a few hours.

You sit up and hang your legs over the side of the bed. You stand, your bladder squeezing. That’s what you get for drinking tea so late. You go to the door and pause as you listen through the barrier. You hear Jonathan’s voice and another in return. He must be on a call.

The thought of your own phone nags you. You’ll need to plug it in or you won’t have any juice left for work. You open the door, careful not to make any noise. You could just sneak out and grab it from your bag. You’ll deal with the weight in your bladder on the way back.

You pad down the hall and peek out into the living room. You see only the glow of Jonathan’s laptop in the dark space. You can just creep through the shadows and get what you need. Still, you feel intrusive.

“We miss you, hon,” a British woman chimes from the speaker as Jonathan’s silhouette hunches across from the coffee table, “so dark. Where are you, dearie?”

He hushes her, “it’s late here–”

“And it’s early here.”

“Mum,” he says softly. The couch creaks and reaches over to turn on the lamp, “why are you calling so earl–”

He stops short and looks at you, caught in the glow of the unexpected light. You give a small wave and smile awkwardly. The robe hangs open across his chest and he has a throw blanket over his lap.

“Hi,” you utter dumbly.

“Someone there? Did we interrupt?”

“I’m just grabbing my phone,” you murmur, “sorry.”

“Plugged it in for you,” he points to the corner table.

“S-sorry,” you apologise again and grab your cell, pulling it free of the cord, “I didn’t realise–

“Quite alright,” he assures you.

“I’ll just go…” you trail off as you turn back and flit back into the hall. Oops.

You stop at the bathroom door as the speaker of his laptop echoes behind you, “is that her?” The woman asks.

“Finally found a wife, boy?” A more distant timbre asks, obviously further from the microphone.

“Father,” Jonathan hisses.

“She sounds very nice,” the woman, his mother, proclaims, “she must be the one you mentioned–”

You spin into the bathroom and close the door. It isn’t right to listen. His personal life has nothing to do with you, regardless if you dragged him into your own. You need to cling to the few boundaries still left between you. You don’t need a spiteful boss on top of a deranged neighbour.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hey, you can call me Brook! I was wondering if I could get a match up for a couple fandoms?

I’d like Haikyuu, My Hero, Demon Slayer, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, and Obey me!

If these are too many, feel free to just pick a few out of them! I would really like one of them to be haikyuu though.

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pan/Demi

Zodiac: Aquarius

MBTI: INTP

Appearance: 5’9”, chubby thighs and belly, hazel eyes, shoulder length brown hair (with blonde streaks), glasses

Personality: I’m pretty quiet. I am however very sarcastic and even witty. I keep to myself normally. I tend to stay out of people's business, and people stay out of mine (i prefer to observe). I’m a true neutral on just about everything. I like things to be calm most times, but a bit of chaos is definitely needed. I get bored quickly and need something happening around me constantly, just simple things like a show or music in the background. I don’t listen to most people, i like to do things my own way. i’m very stubborn. i’m very cold to people i don’t really know or like, once i open up though you discover my sense of humour and my general clinginess to the people i actually like (which is very few people).

Likes: Volleyball, badminton, sketching, anime, video games, the color purple, heated blankets, sweet foods and salty foods (never together), cats, the smell of vanilla, cold weather, the nighttime, napping in the day, when you go to bed for the night, music, candles, mangas, baking, the stars, space, snow days, science classes

Dislikes: Spicy foods, being told what to do, super hot weather, being woken up, homework, having to actually do things, cooking

Extras: Resting Bitch Face. looks like they could kill you, is a cinnamon roll. my love languages are quality time and words of affection. im a picky eater. i love to complain.

If you aren't taking matchups right now, thats fine! Just ignore this!

Hi Brook! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. This is more than I usually do but I don't have a limit to how many matchups you can request so you're all good! I hope you like your matchups!

In Haikyuu, I match you with...

Nishinoya loves your quietly sarcastic personality. You make a good balance of loud and quiet but people know not to do anything that gets the two of you to gang up on them. You’re both equally sassy.

He appreciates that you’re there for him. He doesn’t really talk about important things a lot but when he feels the need, he’s glad you’re there for him, even if you're not a good listner.

Please play volleyball with him! He would love getting to share his biggest passion with the person he cares about.

Also loves sharing naps with you. I see Nishinoya as someone who has short naps through the day when he gets a quiet moment. It’s how he gets his seemingly unending energy. And he always sleeps best when you’re with him.

Star gazing dates! He doesn’t know much about the stars but he’s willing to learn. He knows a few good spots around town that have a nice view of the sky.

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

Oh, the quiet, sarcastic duo you and Shinsou would be. No one stands a chance against you two.

Nap buddies! Some of Shinsou’s favourite moments are when the two of you are laying together, both on the verge of sleep and he gets to look over at your relaxed face. He feels honoured that you’re so comfortable around him.

I see his love language as quality time as well so you can be sure you’ll spend a lot of time together. Sometimes that time comes in the form of talking or doing things together. Other times, it’s just enjoying the silence together.

Please take him to a cat cafe. You’ll both have the time of your lives and become regulars there. The staff know your orders off by heart at this point.

I think Shinsou would be surprisingly good at cooking so he doesn't mind taking on that role in your relationship. He knows you don’t like things too spicy and will tailor any dishes to your tastes.

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Another quiet one. Giyu is so glad you’re in his life. He already has to deal with the other Hashira and the kids. He doesn’t need another loud person.

Enjoys spending quality time with you. He doesn’t get a lot of free time with his work but when he does get a day off, he wants to spend it with you.

Giyu does find your stubborn streak annoying at times. He’s got to know that telling you what to do doesn’t work so instead, he’ll suggest things when he thinks he needs to. Otherwise, he lets you do what you want. You’re capable of being responsible for yourself and he recognises that.

As strange as this is going to sound, he likes that you like the same smells. I see Giyu as someone who likes gentle scents like vanilla so he wouldn’t mind getting some incense sticks to place around the house.

Please bake things for him, especially if he’s going away on a mission for a while. He’d smile to see your cooking wrapped up in his bag for him to enjoy.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Another nap buddy! Layla’s sleeping habits only get worse when encouraged by your napping.

Appreciates that you stay out of people's business. She’s not a super nosey person herself so she’s glad you’re the same in that regard.

Layla enjoys watching your sketch things, she finds it relaxing watching the drawing unfold before her eyes.

If you ever draw her or give her one of your drawings, she’s going to pin it up on her wall so she can see it every day. It gives her motivation. You worked hard to make that, she can work hard as well.

With her cryo powers, you won’t have to worry about hot weather. If it’s getting too warm, she’ll just drop the temperature around you for some respite.

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

March is without a doubt the most outgoing person in this list. She’s the one to draw you out of your shell and bring out the best in you.

Really good with words of affection and quality time. She just somehow always knows what to say and will always make time for you.

If there’s something in your meal you don’t like, March is more than happy to eat it instead. She’s not picky about her food so she’ll eat pretty much anything you don’t want to.

There are definitely going to be stargazing dates with March. The Astral Express is one of the best places to see the stars but she likes looking at the sky on each new planet with you as well.

Definitely not someone to tell you what to do. March usually does her own thing as well, so even if she did want to tell you to do something, she’d feel like a hypocrite doing it.

In Obey Me, I match you with...

The ultimate nap buddy. You thought Shinsou and Layla were the perfect companions for a nap? Nope, Belphie takes that title.

You’re going to bond mainly over napping and your shared love of going to bed. But you have other similarities as well.

People know not to get on either of your bad sides. You’re very observant and they know what a power couple you are when you gang up on a shared enemy.

Dates in the observatory, looking at the stars. Belphie spends a lot of time there so he knows a bit about the sky. He’ll also keep track of meteor showers so he can take you to a lookout to watch them together.

He’s not great with words of affection but he’s good with quality time. Even if you’re both asleep, Belphie feels your presence and the warmth of being with someone he cares about.

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

Are you both alright or are you lying too? You seem to have been hesitant when speaking with Kisho.

@demon-blood-youths @chunibyo-x-sorcerer

The two officers were quiet but Terry and Davion looks to the anon but they remain silent.

"We were not lying we just.......you don't get it. Sai is......" How can he explain it. He's tricky but dangerous in his own way. Even if he tends to trick him he also seduce him to always come back to him. Even now he tends to wait for him to show up every night or him tempting him again and again.

"He's tricky. You shouldn't underestimate these inmates. Their a lot more dangerous than I thought they were. Even if he's from the DBT fraction..." he sighed. But he tries not to over think it, even last night when Sai was playing around while stealing his keys once. It only leads to him being held down on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~

Terry held him down by his wrists but Sai only looks up at him while chuckling. "Seems like..haaa you got me. That's not fair. I was just playing around." he said a bit tired from struggling but he was strong for a police officer.

"You play way too much you know that? Why can't you behave for once?" he said for Sai to roll his eyes but smile back at him.

"Because playing around is fun. We all do. Or did you not forget that? Most of my teammates play with their food but it's more fun playing with a special target. Just like me playing with you. You don't mind our games..if you did, you would have given up being in charge of me.."

"......."

"Or maybe it's because.." that's when he moves his leg to press in between his legs that Terry tenses. "You get to have fun punishing me for it. Just like last night..you were such a horny bat punishing me. Was it that good?"

"Stop talking I... "

"You don't have to hide it officer McGinnis..I know it felt good...I still feel the effects from the last time you played with me.....It even took some time to get your seed out but it's fine....or are you pent up again..want some relief?" he asked to sit up about to kiss him but Terry lets him go that Sai laughed to sit up.

"I don't know what your game is but that's not....I mean it's not true I don't...." he looks away but Sai only walks over that he presses a hand to his back that Terry turns quickly about to stop him but he kisses him deeply. His eyes widen slightly but he feels Sai just hold him tight while kissing him. In a moment, he breaks the kiss to smile at him.

"You don't have to hide it.....we can have fun together.....if your that hungry to take me again..I'm always here if your pent up.." he teased but in the darkness of his cell, his yellow serpentine eyes were glowing slightly.

"........"

~~~~~~~~~

"Yeah, very tricky.." Terry said but Davion saw he was distracted again.

"It's the same for the knight. True he's dangerous and powerful but in his own way..it's hard to see what he does from time to time...but..it's something." Davion said remembering himself.

~~~~~~~~~

Davion was standing guard near Rust's cell but he was seeing the other just sitting laying back on the cell bed bored. "......." Though, he was just relaxing so that was fine. However, that's when he tenses feeling a hand run down his back.

"Hey Dragon.....I'm bored. Can we play a little?"

"No Mr. Knight. You need to get ready to get some sleep." Davion said not facing him but Rust only stops his hand before he moves his hand to claw his back.

"That's not what I asked...Come on, I just wanna play. Don't you wanna play with me?" he asked kindly but once more Davion didn't respond. Rust knew he was trying to ignore him that he chuckled to back off.

"I see....trying to be tough I get it..maybe I should find another toy to play with then." Davion tenses but remains quiet. "I always remember some others liked playing and yet..I know I could have another..maybe Breezy will play with me..." he thinks but Davion said nothing.

"It was rather fun when corrupting you but..Imagine that your just trying to stay strong when I know you ache for it too."

"Tch..enough of your words Rust. I know what your trying to do and it won't work. not this time.."

"No? Not even if I wanted to get some relief myself?" he asked but Davion turns to look only to see Rust near the case. His eyes were blood red again but he was smiling while showing sharp teeth.

"!?"

"You know it's going to be more fun seeing you hold back longer and longer..till your begging to have your relief..I can make you feel good you know..you know that. Even now I'm getting hungry to have some fun..but your being mean..maybe even down there...I feel needy myself."

"......."

"Unless you want something else? Maybe I can please you..or..." He even started adjusting his prison inmate pants to lower down just a little.

"What are you-"

"Or maybe...you want something wetter...tighter...I can help if you want...." he said tempting him but Davion held his hand in a fist, feeling his bulge twitching that he looks away.

"You seriously are trouble you know that? Why can't you just behave..don't you want to get out?" he said.

"...I do....but..I rather get out if it means the same for my team and friends....though...I also want out so I can be around you more....then we can really have fun..won't that be nice?" he teased.

"......"

"Though, for now...I'll just have fun being sure you fall under me begging while you break me over and over again.....or maybe I'll break you~" he whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Davion and Terry was quiet now but they were trying not to think about it. Now they get why some of the officers were nervous around these inmates. What the hell was going on in this prison?

[courtofmatchups]

This is such a good idea omg!! May I get a Match Up?

My Name is Maia and i go by she/her! Im about 5"4 which is pretty ordinary id say. I have green eyes and dye my hair alot as a form of self expression! I'm very artistic and draw or paint alot. I also write! I own 2 cats which tend to sleep on me or in my bed when I sleep. I think my friends would say I'm pretty energetic but I know when to stop kinda?? 🤷‍♀️ Theres nothing that I love more than making others feel safe and guarded. I also enjoy dancing, baking, cooking and singing! I also very much enjoy gardening and caring for plants or animals. I am an ENTP, meaning im really extroverted but I still have times in which I just want to sit back and let others do the talk. I get exhausted from public situations sometimes. I absolutely hate rude people, like the ones that are rude without a reason. I could break their bose each time someone talks to me or my friends like that. M favorite thing about myself is that I know how to communicate. It was hard acquiring that, since I have some childhood trauma in the bag. Meaning I start tearing up whenever someone I love might start talking to me in a pissed way or in a way that tells me were arguing because i usually avoid arguments within family or with loved ones. I tend to look out for others alot and i try to balance that by doing self care every now and then! I also value my sleep alot but sometimes I catch myself reading until late at night. I can be very crackheaded when with people I love but only if I feel extremely comfortable with them. When In a bad mood, I can get very snappy but that rarely happens because of me not wanting to gurt the people im around. I also enjoy the sun alot but I rarely go out. I just sit at my desk, starring at my phone like:

"Someone please.. Someone please call me and ask me to do something!"

So im not someone who initiates that by herself. I am definetly really touch starved and cuddling with people helps me relax alot. Sometimes, I tend to bite them. Idk why bro the urge is just there?? I love going shopping and treating myself more than anything but I have pretty faked self confidence. I try to keep it up around people but sometimes its just hard to not be self conscious about everything you do or how you look. I also have major back problems due to the size of my chest and the weight it puts onto my back💀 My favorite colors are pink and light blue or pastels! I either dress very romantically or like a full on lingerie model no inbetween. I also really value it when people communicate their emotions to me and I love helping them learn how to since it's really important!

Have a nice day and drink enough <3

It seems to me you've captured the heart of...

The Clement Prince

Aquia Avari!

(A/N sorry this took so long. Uni was kicking my ass 💀)

If there is one thing this sweet, soft-spoken man loves about you, it's your energy, and how you express yourself. And the fact that you know when to reign it in makes you all the more appealing to him. And when he learns that you're artistic, you have a green thumb, and the fact that you love animals, the ball just starts to roll. Your relationship starts with the two of you bonding over your love for gardening. And once he feels like he can trust you (trust me, with your personality, that won't take long), he's gonna invite you over to his secret balcony. He loves to listen to you talk about your interests, and he also appreciates that you like to hear him talk about his. What's this? You're protective too?

"How is this person so... Wonderful??" - Aquia Avari

Aquia does his best not to overstep any boundaries, and if he does, he'd appreciate it when you tell him about it. He knows just as well as you do that communication is important in any relationship. If you ever bring up your childhood trauma, he can't help but feel sorry for you, but also proud. It takes a lot of strength to grow around it, and don't even get me started on practicing not taking any shit from others.

Cuddles! Aquia would absolutely love cuddles with you. You may take him by surprise if you do nibble on him, but when you tell him that's just a way you like to show affection, he can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A long day of lectures had come to a close, and Aquia walked with you to his balcony. His plants look a little dehydrated, but it's nothing some water cannot fix. You offered to help him water them. He taught you the proper watering techniques for his plants (let's be real, most of these plants don't even exist on Earth). Meanwhile Mel and your two cats are playing (assuming hamsters aren't part of their diet)

A: "Ah, I just remembered! Maia, I aquired some Avarian Ale. Shall we have a drink?"

M: "Awesome! What's the occasion?"

A: "It's nothing in particular. I just wanted to share a drink with you. That's what paramours do, is it not?"

M: "You're not wrong there, hehe"

After a few drinks, the two of you sat there talking to each other, enjoying each others company. At one point, you asked Aquia to hold still, as you wanted to draw him. You've drawn him a few times before, but the surge of pure joy he gets when you draw him never dies down. You finished the sketch about an hour later, and presented it to him. Was he always this handsome to you? He couldn't help but preen a little.

Neither of you realized how late it got. Aquia noticed you were shivering a little from the cold so he draped his jacket over you and led you inside. He asked you if you wanted to cuddle as you entered the building.

M: "I thought you'd never ask"

Aquia led you to the sofa with his arm around your waist. He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you closer. And you happily nuzzled into him, and gave him some nibbles on his cheek. And there you stayed, eventually falling asleep in each other's embrace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[deus-lapidis]

How they sleep

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli x gn!reader

Genre: fluff

A/N: old but gold, one of my favourites

This is a repost! Here’s a short explanation why

Masterlist

Diluc

Pre-relationship:

He slept curled into himself as if to shield himself in his sleep. Usually on his right side, sometimes on the left side, depending on the soreness of his body.

Very rarely sleeps on his stomach or back, though stomach appears more often. Gets uncomfortable if it's too hot, so he sleeps with the blanket halfway draped over him.

Either way he has really bad sleeping habits for a person that works so much in the winery and as batman for patrolling.

Didn't really sleep in because he never had any reason to do so? He just got up to work and go about his day.

In a relationship:

Almost always the big spoon, doesn't matter if you're taller or shorter than him. Snakes one arm around you, intertwining your hand with his, his head resting on top of yours. He likes holding you and just relishing in your warmth, determined to protect the light of his life.

Usually comes home quite late, so he's careful to not wake you up when laying down. Every night he plays the risky game of pulling you into his arms, but even when you do wake up, warmth spreads out in his chest when you just tiredly snuggle into him.

When you're absent:

Halfheartedly climbs into bed, tossing and turning a lot. The usual peace you bring him gone and leaving him worry about your well-being. Who knew that he could only barely go without your presence once he got a taste of it?

But the yearning made it all the better when you returned from your trip, smiling at him, while you two lie there in proximity and fall asleep in contentment.

Kaeya

Pre-relationship:

On the side, right side to be precise. That's where his eyepatch is. Regardless of whether people would think it was an injury, fashion statement or a mysterious aspect of him, he somehow developed the habit of covering it when he sleeps.

Tucks his arm under his pillow and would flip his pillow to the cool side. Sometimes even clutches the blanket to his chest.

His sleeping habits aren't great, but they're not too bad either. A little inconsistent though. On some occasions he'll stay up until 3am, on others he's out at 11pm.

Does sleep in, it's a form of relaxation for him, maybe even revisiting a nice dream while the rest of Mondstadt slowly awakes.

In a relationship:

Definitely asks for cuddles and for you to come to bed with him, he holds it very dear. He wants to make sure that he's able to go to bed with you at all times and tells you beforehand if he won't make it home early enough.

He likes feeling your warmth, so usually your head on his arm or where it connects to his shoulder and your arm draped over his midsection.

When you're absent:

Adorably upset. Of course he can sleep without you, but having you there just simply enhances the quality of sleep (sources: trust me, bro). Has faith in you returning safely, but thinks a lot about you. Maybe even fiddles with something you once gifted him and pressing it to his chest while falling asleep.

Drags you off to nap in his office when you return. It's either you on his chest or him on top of you, burying his face into your neck to sleep.

Childe:

Pre-relationship:

I can see him sleeping on his stomach, knocked out, snoring softly with his cheek squished against the back of his hand.

Likes to burrito himself sometimes, cause it makes him feel like it's a warm embrace. Yes, Shnezhnaya did have heat sources and ovens, but he rolled himself into the blanket when he was little and never dropped the habit. (i could make this angsty but i won't)

Bad sleeping habits. *sprays water in face*

Busy harbinger go brrr and has totally tended his own wounds before just passing out on his bed on several occasions. (“What’s your night routine?” “Do you mean what style of wound stitching I do…?”)

Likes sleeping in but rarely does it, since he's always kinda busy.

In a relationship:

Whines for you to snuggle with him when he's in bed and you don't come in a span of 15 minutes. Very persistent. Will not stop until you come and give him affection. He's touch starved and shameless about it.

Usually pulls you on top of him. He's a big boy, so he just likes it when you're snugly pressed against him and he thinks you look cute whenever you look up to him. Gives you a small kiss before sleeping, always.

When you're absent:

Functions, but is grumpy about it. Would rather be sleeping with you. Who is he going to kiss goodnight now? His pillow?

Makes a mental note to tell you, that he doesn't want you to take long missions for a bit after this. He wants to have his angel safe and sound with him, sleeping in his arms.

When you do return he needs a refill of physical affection first (an Ajax would usually take about 2 hours worth of cuddles until fully charged) and definitely whispers to you, that he was terribly lonely. This time he gets a goodnight kiss from you :)

Zhongli:

Pre-relationship:

Slept on his back, pretty still actually. Sometimes he does turn a little, resulting in his hair fuzzing up a bit. Drapes the blanket over his body, arms securing it and that's literally it. Classic old man behaviour, right there. Has a little trouble falling asleep sometimes though, so he does sometimes shift to his side, just to flop back into his previous position.

Decent sleeping habits. But has restless nights where his memories haunt him. Sometimes he wanders around in his house or goes on a nightly walk if he's unable to sleep.

Doesn't really sleep in, because he likes to brew some tea early in the morning and enjoys hearing the world wake up.

In a relationship:

He's secretly a little clingy (just a little) and is always happy to pull you into his embrace. He likes looking at your peaceful expression, so he prefers facing each other with your arm draped over him, hand on his back.

Will run his thumb over your ribcage and rest his forehead on yours.

When you're absent:

I think he does the best out of all of them, because he does miss you, but it doesn't take him over.

Secretly hopes that you won't be leaving for another time and just stay in his arms, stay with him. Does get a little worried when he reminisces memories of cold, cruel people. May they be from the current time or his previous life as Morax. Usually tries to calm himself by filling his mind with nice memories of you and him together.

When you return he's overjoyed to see you're safe and back by his side. Laying there, face to face with the person he loves, he strokes your cheeks gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead before slipping off into peaceful slumber.

[mlink64]

Sharing Clothes/Accessories

WC ~1200

Yeonjun

-Sharing crop tops and accessories

-OFC he’s gonna borrow your clothes since he likes androgynous looks

-You always roll your eyes when you see him wearing your clothes but you secretly think he looks really hot

-Usually, he borrows your crop tops because they don't usually sell them “for men”

-(Not that it stops him from buying them tho) 

-Tbh that’s pretty much all he can fit in of yours clothing-wise

-Buuuuut he also borrows your jewelry a lot

-Like a lot a lot

-The type to buy a piece of jewelry and say it’s for you but it’s secretly for him too

-The two of you love to go to antique stores and thrift shops when you have free time and look for unique jewelry and accessories

-Though he wears your clothes every once in a while, you wear his too and it does make him soft and gooey

-Especially when you wear his t-shirts and no pants because he thinks it’s cute and sexy

-He loves lending you his beanies because they’re really big on you and fall over your eyes and ears so that sometimes only your nose peeks out

Soobin

-Button-ups and cardigans

-You love layering his button-up tops over t-shirts

-Or just wearing the button-up as is

-If you’re just relaxing you like to just lounge around in his tops w/o bottoms

-You’re always cute and comfy but he finds it really sexy and kind of provocative

-You love that they’re light and loose and smell like him

-Depending on how many buttons you have undone you can get him really flustered if you’re in a teasing mood

-When you do wear his button-ups in public it makes him feel really happy and low-key cocky/manly because it shows that you’re taken

-When you just randomly throw them on its one thing but when you purposely style an outfit with one of his shirts he thinks it’s the cutest and most mind-blowing thing

-Many of the same things apply to you when borrowing his cardigans

-They’re the epitome of the boyfriend cardigan on you

-Really long and cozy

-You probably steal his cardigans the most tbh because of the whole vibe

-You always wind up with sweater paws and it makes this man weak I tell you

-Sometimes when you miss him you sleep with one of the soft, cozy cardigans 

Beomgyu

-Tee shirts

-This mans has a lot of tee shirts

-He finds you ridiculously cute in his tees

-Since he tends to wear baggy shirts they’re massive on you

-Especially the sleeves 

-He also finds it kind of sexy when the neckline is really big and slips off/down your collarbones and shoulders

-He often asks you to wear his clothes, saying you look so cute in them

-He always gets hella soft when he sees you in his clothes and he can’t keep his hands off of you but in a chaste, innocent way

-Always giving you back hugs, holding your hand, rubbing your legs, literally whatever part of you he can reach he’s touching

-Playful pecks anywhere on your bare skin

-He especially loves it when you relax around the house/dorm in one of his tees and a pair of spanx/workout shorts

-When the other boys are around you always pull the shirt up and tuck it in so you can see that you are indeed wearing pants

-Which often leads to the little shit pulling the shirt out again to hang about your thighs

-If you protest, mentioning something about the other members he’ll roll his eyes and smirk

- “Well they shouldn’t be looking at my baby like that in the first place” 

Taehyun

-Jackets and scarves

-Always giving you his jackets when you’re out because you get cold really easily

-He’s kind of extra when it comes to keeping you warm, as he sees it as a really easy, basic thing he can do for you

-When you two are out and it’s chilly he will hold your hands between his own to keep them warm or he’ll cup your cheeks if they’re all wind-bitten

-He also will hold your hand(s) in your/his jacket pockets

-He acts like it’s a ‘burden’ or ‘chore’ to take care that you stay warm but he’s actually soft af for it because you just make him feel melty and happy all the time

-He thinks you look super cute and even smaller than usual in his coats, they’re usually big on him so they’re massive on you 

-If you’re both cold, he will pull you into his chest so that he can wrap his coat around you as well 

-He just kind of does it without saying anything and lowkey ignores you because he’s actually super mushy and flustered

-But you can always tell because you can feel his heartbeat as you press your cheek against his chest to get as close together as possible 

-If anyone says anything he says it’s to share body heat or he just glares at them

-But if you watch a little bit longer you’ll see him try (and fail) to hide his soft, loving smile 

Hueningkai

-Hoodies all day every day

-He has so many hoodies that if you steal one, chances are he won’t even notice

-This boy will literally beg you to wear his hoodies tho

-He just finds you ridiculously adorable in them

-Especially when you have sweater paws

-He will probably squeeze his hands into the armhole and grab and hold your hands while in the sleeves

-Sometimes if you’re in a particularly silly/giggly mood you’ll pull your arms up so he can’t grab your hands 

-Which results in him winding up wearing the sleeves and squishing you into a hug

-Like Beomgyu, he also can’t help but be very touchy and affectionate with you when you’re all tiny in his clothes

-All he wants to do is snuggle with you because you look so cozy

-He loves it when you do the thing where you bring up the hood and kiss him behind it all sneaky-like even though anyone who sees you two will know that you’re kissing 

-Whenever you’re sad he always wraps you up in one of his hoodies and cuddles with you

-Sometimes if you’re really sad you’ll pull the hood up and pull the string so that you’re entirely cocooned in the sweater

-If he sees you like this he knows that something is wrong

-If he’s wearing a hoodie and puts his hands in the pocket you often wiggle your own into the pocket as well and hold his hands

-He will definitely do the same to you

-He sometimes puts  his hands into the hoodie, not in a sexual way but just to touch your skin

-Will 100% do the thing where you’re both wearing hoodies and you tie the strings together and pull so that you’re both all squished into the hoods

-The pair of you will also play fight with the sleeves, swinging them around like nunchucks

-If he bops you in the face you always pretend that it hurt and he falls for it every time

-He’ll stop immediately and come over to check on you and apologize, then when he gets close you strike, tackling him in a huge hug

[xoxo-teddybear]

The Bakugou Kids - Bakugou Katsuki

(Dad)Bakugou x (Mom)f!reader

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Cursing

Summary: Bakugou and Y/N love their son with their entire beings, but sometimes, parents need a break. Especially when those parents are responsible for creating a literal demon spawn. He is kind, well behaved, and cute of course! But he does have Bakugou blood in him. With Y/N already away on a girls trip, Bakugou has to find out how he’s going to deal with his (now) many, many kids.

A/N: You passed down your duplication quirk down to Katsuo.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” You asked your husband as you stood at the doorway. “Katsumi may be a calm baby but she’s still a baby. And Katsuo’s quirk just kicked in and it is mine. I would know how difficult it can be to manage.”

“Stop worrying, Babe. It’s just a duplication quirk. And he’s only 5, how powerful can it really be?”Katsuki said, wrapping his arms around you. “Just go on your little girl’s trip with Ponytail and Racoon Eyes. I can handle the brat.”

You looked at your husband with a raised brow and smile before rolling your eyes and giving him a kiss. “Alright then. I’ll see you in a few days!”

With that, you walked out of the house and into the cab to meet your friends at the resort. Katsuki chuckled before walking back into the house to find his son napping on the couch. His spiky, blonde locks were all messed up with bed head while his E/C eyes he inherited from you remained shut. Katsuki walked over to his newborn daughter and picked her up while he took a seat next to Katsuo’s sleeping form, rubbing at his soft hair until he woke up.

“Can’t be all that bad, right Katsumi?”

The baby girl merely cooed with sparkling ruby eyes that mimicked her father’s.

—

Wow. Wrong. He was so wrong! It had only been 2 days since your departure but things had already gone so wrong! When you said your quirk was difficult to manage, Katsuki thought it would be difficult for Katsuo to manage. Not him!

Katsuki should’ve known his son would’ve taken the opportunity to act out while his mother was away. He had always been your little angel while Katsuki saw him as his little gremlin. With Y/N gone, Katsuo has been pushing all kinds of limits. Limits that had Katsuki beat.

Katsuo had been fortunate enough to inherit a quirk. And not just any quirk, but your quirk. Duplication. Basically, he can create copies of himself. When you were his age, you could only create 4, max. Katsuo was different though. He had Bakugou blood flowing through him. He was advanced the second he was born. So now, Katsuki was stuck looking after Katsumi, Katsuo, and Katsuo’s 16 other copies.

“Aye! Number 15, you’re gonna break that lamp! 11 and 8! Don’t wrestle in the mud! Go take a bath! NUMBER 3 GET OFF THE KITCHEN ISLAND! KATSUMI!” The adult blond screamed, looking for his infant daughter, eventually finding her sleeping in her little rocker on the living room floor. “Oh right, you don’t talk yet.”

Katsuki sighed as he slumped down next to his daughter, and leaned his back against the couch. He looked around the room and saw the 17 Katsuo’s making a ruckus around the house. All he could do was question how the hell is 3 month old daughter could possibly sleep through all this.

Katsuki almost lost all hope for humanity until a knock was heard on his front door. Knowing exactly who was there, he quickly got up from his place on the floor and ran to the entrance. “You idiots are finally here!”

Katsuki pulled in his 3 friends, the boys of the Bakusquad, and slammed the door shut. The 3 friends all stood in shock at the sight of the house. Not that it was overly messy or anything. It’s just that there were about 16 more figures in the house that aren’t usually there.

“You gotta help me!” Katsuki said, running infront of them, shaking his best friend’s shoulders. “I love my kids! I do! I love Katsuo, I swear! BUT I DIDNT SIGN UP TO BE A FATHER OF 18 FREAKING DEVILS!”

“Okay! Okay, relax man. We’re here.” Kirishima said, patting his friend’s shoulder as he wept. “How the hell are we gonna take care of 17 little Bakugous?”

“Right? We thought 1 Kacchan was a lot. Then you brought another one into the world, who apparently brought some unannounced friends.” Kaminari joked.

“They’re demons!” Katsuki exclaimed. “This has to be some fucking Karma for the shit I did. I knew I should’ve listened to my old hag better. Now shits came back to bite me in the- HEY! PUT YOUR SISTER DOWN! SHE’S NOT A FOOTBALL!”

Katsuos number 7 and 5 placed a sleeping Katsumi back in her rocker with an annoyed pout before running off to play something else.

“Welllll, there’s nothing that 3 cool uncles can’t fix!” Sero enthusiastically said. “Hey kiddos! Who’s ready to have some fun?”

All the mini blondes stopped their movements, some freezing mid-air, and looked to the slim man. They all shouted in joy at the sight of their uncles and ran to pounce on the 3 men, including their father. From the point of view of the boys in the Bakusquad, it looked like a Bakugou stampede.

“Run, run, RUN, RUN, RUUUNN!!!!” Kaminari screamed as the boys all ran for their lives to escape the herd of Katsuos. This was going to be an interesting day.

—

Safe to say after the day had passed, the boys of the Bakusquad were completely exhausted. Sero had half his clothes torn, Kirishima’s hair fell from it’s great spikes and even lost some red hues, Katsuki’s eye bags had never been heavier, and Kaminari was just straight knocked the fuck out. They were all thrown across the couch as Katsumi rested in Katsuki’s arms.

“What do we do?” Kirishima exclaimed.

“I don’t know.” Katsuki said, looking at his scrambling son(s). “There’s just too many.”

“And we’ve already lost a soldier.” Sero said pointing to Kaminari’s sleeping form. Katsuki and Kirishima followed his gaze and bowed their heads in respect towards the defeated Kaminari.

���Well now what? Is Bakugou just supposed to live like this for the next 3 days?” Kirishima asked.

“Hell no. If I do, there’s not gonna be anymore Katsuki. I’ll just be some body without a soul because my damn gremlins sucked it outta’ me.” Katsuki said with his head dropped down.

“Well how do we get them to calm down?” Sero questioned.

“I don’t know. They’re all mini me’s. Nobody could get me to relax.” Katsuki said in defeat, but that’s when Kirishima had a lightbulb go off for him.

“Except for Y/N!” The red head said, popping up from his seat on the couch.

“Uh, if you haven’t noticed Shitty Hair, this all started because she’s away on her trip.” Katsuki said with sarcasm as he looked at his friend as if he was an idiot.

“I know that! But Y/N wasn’t the only one to tame you, Bakugou!” Kirishima said in excitement.

“So then who else?” Katsuki asked.

“You know,” Kirishima smirked. “Denki’s favorite person. Y/N and.........”

It took Katsuki a second before his eyes popped when he finally got it. “No!”

“Yes!” Kirishima said.

“No way! We’re not going to her!” Katsuki complained.

“Who?” Sero asked.

“Nobody!” Katsuki screamed.

“Oh it’s somebody alright! Somebody who was able to tame the beast in Bakugou the second he was born!” Kirishima said.

“Who?” Sero asked. Katsuki finally sighed before he gave in, realizing this was his only hope for sanity. He grabbed his phone and made a quick call before explaining to his dark-haired friend.

“The demon of all demons...”

—

The door opened to reveal a tall standing brunette and an elder feminine blonde.

“...My mother.”

—

The boys of the Bakusquad all sat lined up on the couch as Mitsuki stood at Katsuki’s end and smacked her son’s head.

“You idiots! Y/N leaves for 2 days and all hell breaks lose?!” Mitsuki screamed at the 3 young men.

“You old hag! Quit hitting me! Ima’ grown man for crying out loud!” Katsuki screamed as he rubbed his head. Masaru simply bounced the sleeping Katsumi in his arms as he watched the scene play out.

“Well if you’re such a grown man then why can’t you manage your own kids without your wife’s help?!” Mitsuki argued, leaving Katsuki silent as he grumbled. The eldest blonde sighed before continuing. “Alright listen, I’ll watch these little devils for the next few days until Y/N comes back. I’d love to spend some time with my grandbrats. Why don’t the 3 of you go take a break and-“

“THANKS! Let’s go losers!” Katsuki said dragging his friends to the exit. Mitsuki and Masaru only laughed at their son’s behavior as they began tending to the kids.

The boys of the Bakusquad all quickly walked out of the house and headed for their cars as they all walked together.

“So, where to?” Sero asked.

“We could go head up that new resort in Tokyo!” Kaminari suggested.

“Naahhh. That’s where Y/N’s having her girl’s trip. Wifey would kill me if she saw me there instead of at home with the kids.” Katsuki said with his hands in his pockets. Kirishima raised his brow at this.

“Oh? So then, maybe we should go back and-“

“You know, on second thought,” Katsuki said with wide eyes once Kirishima made the suggestion. He took his hands out of his pockets and placed them behind his friend’s backs to keep them moving. “Maybe she won’t kill me..if I’m lucky..and wish..upon a shooting star....a million times over. Hah.....yeah. TO THE RESORT!”

As they walked, Kaminari attempted to look at the house once more, prompting Katsuki to turn his friend’s head back around. “No, no, no, don’t look back, they can smell fear.”

[waitimcomingtoo]

The Hint

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis submitted by @jasmine11685: Peter gets jealous when you have to flirt with someone on a mission

Masterlist

“Wow.”

That was the only word Peter could say as you descended the staircase in a form fitting black dress. The slit up the side added an elegant touch, something needed for the ball you were going to.

“You look pretty “wow” yourself.” You smiled shyly as you lifted the hem of your dress to walk towards him. “The suit is a nice change from the flannels, though I do love those.”

Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words formed in his brain. As soon as you put your hands on his collar to tuck it under his suit jacket, his name was lost on his and all he knew was yours.

“So this is what it’s like to be speechless.” He chuckled nervously as you straightened his jacket.

“Shut up.” You giggled as your face flushed. “Your ties a little crooked.”

“Thanks.” Peter whispered as you adjusted his tie. “You look beautiful. Like, the kind of beautiful that makes you want to cry when you look at it.”

“Thank you.” You laughed again, out of habit. You looked at Peter through your eyelashes as your shaking hands slid down his jacket.

“Nervous?” He asked softly when he noticed your unsteady demeanor.

“A little.” You smiled weakly. “It’s uh, it’s a shame I’m gonna have to waste all this beautiful on some douche who won’t appreciate it.”

“Well I appreciate it.” Peter assured you. “All of it. What is your mission exactly?”

“I just have to get some information out of Harry Osborn. Apparently he’s the only one who knows what’s his father has been doing up at Oscorp. We have to find out his plans before he does something dangerous. Could you help me with this?” You asked as you handed him a diamond necklace. You turned around and Peter carefully moved your hair off of your back.

“Oh.” He said in surprise as he clasped the necklace around your neck. “And how are you planing on getting that information?”

“I’m gonna flirt with him like my life depends on it.” You said confidently as you turned back around. “Because who knows? It might.”

Peters face twitched in confusion as his eyebrows knit together. He felt a white hot jealousy run all the way to his scalp when he learned about the plan.

“You have to flirt with that asshole?” Peter laughed nervously and cleared his throat. “He’s a total playboy. He’s probably never done his own laundry a day in his life.”

“I think I can handle him.” You winked at him as you touched your your lipstick. “And his laundry.”

“I have no doubt in your abilities. I just wish you didn’t have to use them on him.” Peter said, mostly to himself.

“It’s fine, Pete.” You assured him. “I’m actually excited to do it.”

“Excited?” Peter began to sweat.

“Yeah.” You grinned in excitement. “This is the biggest role I’ve ever had in a mission. I really want to do a good job so I can impress my dad. That means I’m gonna have to pull out my best flirting.”

“Your best flirting?” Peter was really beginning to panic now.

“Yup. I need this boy to fall in love with me.” You told him. “Watch, by the end of the night, he’ll be putty in my hands.”

“I don’t think you should do this, Y/n.” Peter blurted. “I think we should get Natasha or someone else to do it. You shouldn’t have to be the shiny object we use to distract the enemy.”

“I’m fine with it, Pete. My dad didn’t give me this role because I’m pretty. He gave me this role because I have good communication and manipulation skills. Plus, I’m closest to Harry’s age. It all works out.”

“He could be really dangerous.” Peter protested. “You could get hurt.”

“I’m really dangerous.” You stated. “And he’s definitely gonna get hurt.”

“Just be careful, okay?” Peter sighed, making you look at him. You walked over to him and cupped his face in your hands, making his breath hitch in his throat.

“I got this, Petey.” You said gently. “I know you’re worried about me, but you have no reason to be. I can do this. And you, Sam, and my dad are gonna be listening the whole time. We’re gonna catch this guy. I know it.”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt. If things go wrong-“

“They won’t.” You cut him off. “Go ask my dad. He drew up every possible outcome of this plan and they all end with Harry getting his ass kicked.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded and gave you a smile. “I’ll go talk to Mr. Stark.”

~

“You just had to believe in her.” Peter grouched as he barged into Tony’s office. “You just had to recognize her talent and trust her enough to carry the mission.”

“I’m sorry. Is that anger directed towards moi?” Tony touched a hand to his chest. “Are you mad at me?”

“Yeah, I am.” Peter said. “You know I like Y/n and sent her off to flirt with the richest playboy in New York City?”

“Hey.” Tony said sternly. “Playboy is my thing.”

“Why did you have to make her do this job?” Peter whined. “She’s gonna fall in love with him and forget all about me.”

“He’s a criminal, Peter.” Tony reminded him.

“So? Girls love that!” He protested. “You remember how she acted around Loki.”

“Don’t remind me.” Tony rolled his eyes. Peters face shifted back to his forlorn expression and Tony saw how much this was hurting him.

“Look, kid, don’t sweat this mission.” He said as he put a hand on Peters shoulder. “She’s just gonna get the information she needs from Harry and you’ll never have to worry about him again. You can go right back to your little will-they-won’t-they bullshit or whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I have a plan.” Peter insisted. “And Harry is going to put a serious wrench in my plan, thanks to you.”

“You have a plan?” Tony doubted. “Ive been watching you pine after my daughter for years. When is this plan going into action exactly?”

“I’m just going to think really hard about how I’m in love with her and wait until she realizes.” Peter mumbled as he adverted his eyes.

“Yeah?” Tony cocked his head. “And how’s that going for you?”

“I think she’s just about to get the hint.” Peter said and Tony let out a groan.

“Kid, just ask her out.” He reasoned. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could hear me.” Peter stated. “And then say no.”

“She’s never gonna take the hint unless you actually give her the hint.” Tony reasoned. “Why don’t you try tonight? She’ll be all giddy from successfully completing the mission. Perfect time to confess those bottled up feelings.”

“I don’t know.” Peter sighed. “Maybe.”

~

An hour later, you were making eyes at Harry from the bar. After locking eyes a few times, you signaled for him to come over.

“Hey.” Harry knocked on the bar twice and looked down at you. He sized you up before smiling in approval and sending you a nod.

“Hey.” You gave him a sultry smile as he sat down.

“You all by yourself?” He asked as he drummed his fingers on the bar.

“I was.” You took a sip and looked at him through your lashes. “Until you came along.”

“Mind if I stay?” He raised an eyebrow as he flagged down the bartender. You made a face as he ordered a drink before smiling at him.

“I prefer it.” You flirted.

“Good.” He accepted his drink and took a long sip. “I don’t like being told no.”

“Then you better give me something to say yes to.” You leaned on your hand and leaned towards him. Inside, you were gagging at his arrogance. On the outside, you were eating it up.

And that made two of you.

“Oh God.” Peter gagged as he listened to the banter through his ear piece. “This is torture.”

Sam, who was standing next to him as they both kept an eye on you, gave Peter a look.

“Relax, kid.” He sighed. “She’s just doing her job.”

“You’re a pretty bold girl. I like that.” Harry cupped your chin before releasing it. “Just not as bold as me.”

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow, grabbed his drink, and downed the rest before slamming the glass down. “How about now?”

“Oh, you are going to get me into trouble.” Harry chuckled and he scooted closer to you. Peter watched in disdain as the jealousy coursed through his veins again.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” You crawled. “Don’t you like trouble?”

“I love it.” He insisted as he held out his hand. “My names Harry Osborn. You’ve probably heard of me.”

“I have.” You smirked as you shook his hand. “I’m Y/n.”

“Why is she talking like that?” Peter whined upon hearing your flirty tone. “She never talks like that.”

“Because she’s not trying to sleep with you, dummy. Thats why.” Sam snorted as he continued to watch.

“What?” Peter snapped his head towards Sam. “She’s not trying to sleep with that guy. She’s just getting information out of him.”

“Yeah well, guys tend to talk a lot more once you’ve tired them out.” Sam shrugged as he sipped his own drink. Pete’s face fell as he stared Harry down with daggers in his eyes.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Peter mumbled.

“Shhh.” Sam waved his hand. “I’m trying to listen.”

“So,” you took another sip from your drink, “Whats it like being the son of one of the most powerful men in the city? Wasn’t your dad like, 25 when he founded Oscorp.”

“23, but who’s keeping score.” Harry shrugged as he looked around the room. “I’ll probably do something like that soon. Maybe something even bigger. I already have a lot of ideas. Pretty impressive, huh?”

“Totally.” You egged him on but rolled your eyes when he looked away. “Do you ever get to watch his experiments?”

“Baby, I’ve seen just about all of them.” Harry bragged as he played with your dangling earrings. “He’s done things you wouldn’t believe. Things that aren’t even legal.”

“Yeah?” Your eyes widened in excitement and you leaned in closer. “Like what?”

“I can’t tell you here.” Harry pulled away suddenly and sighed. “I don’t want anyone hearing.”

“Alright.” You purposefully took the bait. “Then let’s talk somewhere else.”

“Do you know a place?” He played nonchalant as he put a hand on your knee. Peter watched the scene in front of him and looked away.

“Yeah. My bedroom.” You smirked and stood up. “Let’s go there.”

“Bold.” Harry rubbed his hands together and stood up as well. “You’re dangerous.”

You took his hand and lead him towards the elevator, feeling the gun that was strapped to your thigh brush against your leg as you walked.

“You have no idea.” You mumbled. You passed Sam and Peter and gave them a nod as you lead Harry towards his interrogation. Peter looked like he was ready to fight someone and Sam looked entirely amused. You gave them a thumbs up before leading Harry upstairs.

~

“What’s the craziest thing your dad has done?” You asked as you sat down on the bed. You flicked your leg out and pretended to examine your heels to draw his attention. Harry took the bait and held your ankle in his hands, admiring the fancy shoes Mr. Stark had given you for the mission.

“Why do you want to know?” He asked coyly as he looked up at you.

“Because I like to get a little crazy myself and I want to know how much you can handle.” You shrugged as you shook your hair out. Peter gulped as he listened, feeling his jaw tighten in anger. Tony joined him and Sam at their post and looked around for you and Harry.

“How’s the mission going?” He asked when he didn’t see you anywhere.

“Horrible.” Peter grumbled.

“She didn’t get him to the secondary location?” Tony worried.

“She did.” Sam cut in. “Peters just mad that his girlfriend just found herself a boyfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter snapped. “Maybe she would have been if Mr. Stark wasn’t a destroyer of young love.”

“Parker, quiet.” Sam commanded. “I’m trying to listen.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” Harry folded his arms as he looked down on you.

“You can trust me.” You told him as you reached up to grab his tie. You used it to pull yourself up and off the bed before planting a kiss right on his mouth.

“What was that?” Peter touched his fingertips to his ear piece when he heard silence from your end.” Why did she pause?”

“She didn’t pause.” Sam shook his head as he checked his watch.

“Then what-“

“She kissed him.” Tony cut in while giving Peter an apologetic look.

“She kissed him?” All the color drained from Peters face and Tony felt he was to blame.

“You know the Green Goblin?” Harry asked once you pulled away.

“Yeah.”

“That’s my dad.” Harry admitted, and Tony and Sam quickly wrote it down.

“No way.” You pretended to be impressed. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true. He was dying so he invented this serum to keep himself alive. It ended up giving him all these crazy abilities.” Harry boasted, incriminating himself further. “And he’s got this glider that he can fly around on. You’d love it. It’s very shiny.”

“Wow. I love shiny.” You gushed, fighting the urge to punch him in the throat then and there. “How much serum did he make?”

“He has one more vile that he said he’d give to me when I’m older.” Harry tweaked his eyebrow as he smirked.

“So you’re gonna be the next Green Goblin? Isnt he a bit of a bad guy?” You continued to draw information out of him as your fingers danced around his collar.

“Maybe I am bad guy.” Harry shrugged. “Like father, like son.”

Harry leaned in to kiss you again but you dodged it and laughed as you moved away.

“Bad, huh?” You composed yourself so you wouldn’t be suspicious. “What else has he done?”

“He gave one of our scientists these metal arms. They can rip a person in half. Ive seen it happen.” Harry continued to brag and you recorded every word of it.

“Dr. Occtavius.” Tony realized. “That’s how he got his weapons.”

“Thats crazy.” You gasped and played with his hair. “What’s your dad gonna do?”

“He’s basically forming a league of bad guys.” Harry shrugged like it was no big deal. “Guys way worse than the Avengers.”

“Does he have a problem with the Avengers?” You wondered.

“My dad hates them. I hate them too.” Harry scoffed and you held back a laugh. “That’s why we’re gonna wipe them out. New York can’t rely on a bunch of guys in dress up, and we’re gonna show them that.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“With an attack on New York City on the 8th.” Harry told you, and Tony immediately wrote it down. “The Avengers won’t know what hit them.”

“That sounds pretty scary. Will you keep me safe?” You batted your eyelashes at him and he ate it up.

“I can’t listen to this.” Peter took out his earpiece and slammed it on the counter. “I’m going in there.”

“Parker! Stay where you are and - you know what? I don’t care.” Sam shrugged it off and continued to listen to your conversation.

“Of course baby.” He cupped your face in his hands. “It’s gonna be a direct hit on the Avengers tower. A pretty thing like you won’t be anywhere near there.”

“Actually”, you took his hands off your face and dropped your smile, “I will.”

“What?” Harry’s face faltered at your sudden mood change.

“Did you get that guys?” You touched your fingers to your ear piece and waited for the confirmation. “Copy that, dad.”

“What?” Harry’s face twisted in anger. “You’re an Avenger?”

“Look at you! So smart. You figured it out.” You said sarcastically.

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way you’re an Avenger. You’re my age and a chick.”

“Not just an Avenger. I’m a Stark too. Want me to prove it to you?” You asked casually.

“How?” Harry raised an eyebrow. You gave him a swift punch to the throat that knocked him on his back.

“Like that.” You blew your hair off your forehead as you checked your nails.

“You bitch.” Harry wheezed from the floor.

“You see, I can’t have you and your father attacking my friends.” You crouched down beside him and shrugged. “I’m gonna have to take you in.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Harry swiped at you but you dodged it.

“I know. But this cute little microphone recorded everything you said and sent it to the police.” You pouted and pointed to your mic. “They should be here soon. You might want to wipe the lipstick off your face before the get here.”

“I’m not going to prison.” Harry grumbled as he sat up.

“Aw, but you are.” You said as you pulled him off the floor and put his hands behind his back. “Daddy can’t bail you out of this one, like how he bailed you out of your 17 parking tickets.”

“How do you know about that?” Harry asked as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“I know everything, bitch.” You leaned into his ear to growl.

“No. I’m not going down for this.” Harry broke out of your hold and swung at you. You dodged the first one, but he got you right in the jaw with the second one. You stood up and got ready to fight him as he put his fists up.

“You’re not even that pretty.” He exclaimed as he swung at you again. Right as his fist collided with your face, Peter burst in the door.

“Yes she is!” Peter shouted as he jumped on Harry’s back. Harry threw Peter onto the bed and lunged for you again. You close-lined him with your arm and dug your heel into his back once he was on the ground.

“Peter? What are you doing here?” You asked as you stepped on Harry’s back harder with your heel. “I got this.”

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Peter panted as he got off the bed.

“You won’t get away with this. I will sue!” Harry writhed around beneath your heel.

“Can it wait?” You asked as you pulled Harry off the ground. “I’m a little busy.”

“It can’t wait.” Peter shook his head as you shoved Harry against the wall. “There’s something I’ve been holding in for a long time and I need to tell you.”

“I wouldn’t even bother dude.” Harry said with his face squished against the wall. “She’s a total bitch.”

“Was I talking to you?” Peter growled before shooting a web at Harry’s wrists to handcuff him.

“Ohhh I see.” Harry laughed humorlessly. “Spiderman is mad that I stole his girlfriend.”

“Can you shut up? I’m trying to have a conversation here.” You barked at Harry. “I’m sorry, Peter. Please continue.”

“I didn’t want you to flirt with Harry tonight because you can do a lot more than just sit still and look pretty.” Peter began.

“I know that, Peter.” You nodded.

“I also didn’t want you to flirt with him because I was jealous.” He confessed.

“Jealous?” You asked as you put Harry in the hotel chair and began to tie him up.

“He likes you, stupid.” Harry grumbled. You shot Harry and angry look, but when you looked back at Peter, he was nodded.

“He’s right.” Peter admitted , taking you by surprise.

“You like me?” You lips twitched into a smile as you tightened Harry’s rope. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t like me back. You’re my best friend, Y/n.” Peter said softly. “If you didn’t like me back, everything would change. We’d still be friends but it wouldn’t be the same. I didn’t want to risk that.”

“I’m sorry.” You frowned. “I should’ve been more clear then.”

“Do you seriously have to do this here?” Harry whined and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“Clear about what?” Peter wondered.

“That I like you too.” You smiled sheepishly at him. Tony listened to the confession over the ear pierce and smiled to himself.

“There you go kid.” He mumbled to himself. “She got the hint.”

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[nat-20s]

8 for jmart?

#8- constantly cheacking their messages for words from the other

what else was I gonna do? here's some classic ol' season 3 pining babey

Hello Martin. This is Jon. I have gotten a new phone after losing my last one, please put in the new number.

It's a simple message. Straightforward, factual, and utilitarian. There is no reason that pressing send should make his heart race. There's especially no reason that the second he sends it off, he's tempted to lie on the deeply uncomfortable, likely bedbug infested motel mattress staring at his screen until he gets a response. Sure, he's sick of being overseas, and he's sick of being so isolated, and he's sick of running, but he's not...desperate for what little companionship can even be provided by words on a screen.

He does miss Martin, though. He misses Tim as well, but in a manner that's significantly more complex and knotted than the simple desire to be around him.

God, when did he start wanting to just be around Martin? He started being aware of that want when he was at Georgie's, but he has no idea when the want itself actually started. That was probably something he should examine. Technically speaking, that is something that he has time to examine, but he doesn't want to examine right now. Right now, he wants the comfort of perhaps one of the only people out there that doesn't want to kill him, or use him, or both.

Martin, whether through somehow sensing Jon's discontent from nearly 4000 miles away or, more likely, through a general dutifulness inherent to his character, only takes a few minutes to reply. Oh good! it'd been a little bit since hearing from you, we were somewhat worried. putting you in my contacts as we speak :)!

Saying that "we" were worried is almost certainly generous on Martin's part, but Jon feels no need to point that out. Instead he turns on his side and stares at the phone. He particularly focuses on the smiley face, ridiculously charmed by the fact that, despite everything, Martin hasn't lost his predilection for emojis. Two years ago, he would've rolled his eyes, maybe thought something snide about professionalism. It wouldn't have been fair, as Tim used to do the same thing and he thought nothing of it, but he wasn't fair back then. Now, he simply wonders if he can get away with sending one back.

Before he can respond, Martin sends another message. Are you actually alright? I realized I was kind of assuming that losing your phone was the only reason you were MIA, but is anything else going on?

Damn. He tends to forget how perceptive Martin can be. What, exactly, Martin had perceived in that first message, Jon couldn't be sure, but apparently there was something that tipped him off to the..eventful last week he'd had. He really, really doesn't feel like getting into all of that right now, especially not over text, so instead he replies a mostly truthful I'm fine.

Then, squinting at the screen and realizing that might come across as a dismissal, he adds, Well, other than trying not to contemplate the general sanitation practices of a motel that clearly hasn't updated it's decor since the 70s. I'm suspecting the sheets are much the same.

He doesn't know how Martin will react to the message. He can't see the face he'll make, won't know the tone of his voice. However, he likes to imagine that Martin will at least smile. Maybe he'll even give that breath of a laugh, the one that sometimes happens when Jon's being lightly acerbic and it's not directed at him. He doesn't know, but he does hope for it. Martin texts back Oof. Maybe sleep on top of the covers tonight, yeah?, and Jon thinks that he might have guessed Martin's reaction correctly.

Christ, who knew all it took was a combination of jetlag and threats to turn him into a sap. He needs to sleep. He really needs a deep, proper, uninterrupted sleep, one lasting a minimum of eight hours and ideally closer to fifteen. Checking the time, it would be a fairly reasonable time to sleep, especially with the early start he has tomorrow. He considers sending off a quick good night message, but then has the realization that as reasonable as it is for him to be asleep right now, it's just as unreasonable for Martin to be awake. Are you alright? Good lord, Martin, it's almost 4am over there. Did I wake you?

Barely 30 seconds pass before he gets back no, you're good!

A beat, then a follow up message. I've had a irregular sleep schedule since I was like 16. A lot of evening and night shifts had a lasting impact u know? Working at the institute made it a bit more consistent but it's still p rare that i sleep the same eight hours night to night.

Jon's starts to text back something sympathetic; he's had his own struggles with both in- and hyper- somnia, but his phone buzzes in his hand before he can finish it.

Sorry! That was uh probably more information than you wanted.

Well, that just won't do. Even if there wasn't a part of his brain that had recently started collecting facts about Martin like they were precious jewels instead of mostly mundane stories, he doesn't want Martin to think he can't talk to him about things outside of the standard bounds of coworkers. Not at all. We're friends, Martin, I enjoy learning about you.

His brain wants to catastrophize the second he presses send. For the first minute that Martin doesn't reply, he doesn't let it. After the second minute, he allows the minor worry to become more severe. Had it been too much? Were they friends? Jon certainly thought so, but what if Martin wasn't in the same boat? Their interactions had been entirely friendly for months now, but what if that was just Martin being polite? God, what if Martin still thought of Jon as his boss, nothing more?

Ten minutes. It takes ten minutes for Martin to finally respond, and Jon has almost called him four times to explain himself. Ten minutes, and the first response is only Oh!

Then: Cool

Well, that's not a "piss off and die", but it's not exactly comforting. Jon doesn't know how to reply, staring at the words on his screen and not entirely sure if he's fucked up or not. Fortunately, Martin's not done responding, and the next message is much, much better.

Hey uh. Feel free to say no I know it's getting late over there but. Im not getting back to sleep for the rest of the day and itd be nice to actually hear you. Would you be okay with a call?

Without a moment's hesitation, he texts back Yes!, exclamation and all, because he's become someone he barely recognizes. The phone rings just as immediately, and he feels his entire body relax at Martin's first "Hello?"

Things are difficult right now. Things have been difficult ever since the promotion that was a curse in disguise. The world is filled with monsters he barely understands. He wishes he was home despite the fact that he barely recognizes it, as filled with tension and strife as it is. There's so much to discuss, so many things they should be hammering out. But right now, the threats are not pressing. Right now, he can hear about the bad true crime documentary Martin half-watched before he got Jon's texts, and Jon can bitch about the three different "pip pip cheerio" comments he's gotten since coming over seas. Right now, and for the hour before Jon drifts off, breathing slow and deep, he can pretend that this is an ordinary phone call, in an ordinary world, between two people who simply miss each other an extraordinary amount.

[twigg96]

Hello! Can I leave a HC request? I'm wondering what it would be like to share a bed with the boys? Things like sleeping positions, how they cuddle their s/o, who snores/talks/hogs blankets or anything else you can think of. Thank you love!

Hello my sweet Anon! You absolutely may have a sleepy time Headcanon! I love these they’re so cute!! Let’s go!!

Nathan is 100% a bed hog. His natural sleeping position is flat on his back in the center of the bed. This is perfect if his partner wants to cuddle and snuggle every night all night. But this can be a real problem for his partner if they tend to sleep hot, roll around a lot in their sleep, or sleep better without touching anyone. If they talked to Nathan he’d begrudgingly scoot over for them. That doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t subconsciously scoot back over in the middle of the night but at least he’d try. Pushing him to his own side while he slept would be his partner’s only option for solitude at night. He’s a light sleeper though so really all they’d have to do is poke him and ask him to move politely. He’d grumble and growl but he wouldn’t even remember in the morning. His partner might also want to commit to some high quality sound canceling headphones as well Nathan snores extremely loudly. He’s not as bad as Murderface can be but his is consistent. He has been rumored to pull the curtains across the room with a single snore one night.

Pickles tosses and turns in his sleep. People often say it’s the drugs that he takes during the day that makes him have such a rough time sleeping especially because he has a proclivity to binge his stimulants for a long period of time during recording sessions. He passes out after the stimulants wear off but his restless legs, and body jerking is near uncontrollable. His partner may wake up with light bruising on their legs if they try and cuddle with him but on his good nights when he isn’t recording he is one of the best cuddlers in the game. Pickles doesn’t snore. He whines and makes little mouth noises as he sleeps. Sometimes as he dreams he’ll talk but only if it’s completely crazy and he was high before bed.

Murderface is in fact a cuddler… and he snores so loud. He is in fact dubbed the king of snoring in all of Mordhaus. He has broken a window with how loud he snores in the past and so Mordhaus staff had to place him in the basement to keep him from waking his other bandmates. He doesn’t snore all the time like Nathan does however. He snores mostly when he’s upset or sick. When he is extremely upset he forgoes the snoring entirely, talking in his sleep instead. He talks about his problems present, future and past. He apologizes to his mother most of all. He holds a lot of guilt when it comes to that. He feels responsible for her untimely passing. It’s best not to talk to him about his sleep talking episodes and that his partner allow him come to them first with any concerns.

Toki is a whiner on nights where he doesn’t have nightmares. He will whine and cuddle his partner nearly to death snuggling his head under their head trying subconsciously to get closer to them with everything he’s got. One time he woke up with his partner’s legs literally tangled around his own because he had needed the touch so badly. His nightmares haunt him though and often turn to night terrors. His entire body shakes, his legs kick, his arms lash out at his attackers and he screams at the top of his lungs. His partner has left the bed with many bruises before. He’s also very sneaky when it comes to morning sex. Because he’s up much earlier than the others he likes to sneak under the covers and wake his partner up with oral.

Skwisgaar on the opposite hand likes to have sex before falling asleep. It’s like a sleep aid for him. It helps his mind relax and his body find peace. Skwisgaar has horrible insomnia. He’s had it since he was a child. So doing his nightly routine is extremely important for him to fall asleep comfortably. Unfortunately there are times Skwisgaar just can’t sleep. It’s part of the beast. This happens mainly when he’s re-re-re-recording something for Nathan. Skwisgaar becomes anxious and agitated so he stays up for days trying to make it perfect. At the end of his binge however he literally just passes out wherever he ends up resting first. He could be in the most uncomfortable looking position, as long as it’s comfortable to him he’s out cold for the rest of the day.

[childe-dni]

Tartaglia, Get Out of My Office

childe x reader

word count: 1.7k

genre: fluff, is this crack?

warnings: not proof read (are we surprised), brief mentions of injury

you're a private Fatui doctor and there's just one patient who keeps finding his way back to your office

a/n; this is probably not very cohesive at all, for which I apologise. also I'm a teenager and not interested in medicine in the slightest. I am literally talking out of my ass for 100% of the medical thingies. this turned out a lot more dialogue heavy than I would have liked. basically this is Very Bad but i still hope you like this annoying guy.

“Doctor, it’s-” Ekaterina’s assistant squeaked out to you before you promptly cut them off.

“I know. Bring him in.” You sighed already knowing who was interrupting your peace.

Until a few moments ago, you were sat quietly and relaxed in your small office in the back of Northland Bank. It’s a place that doesn’t meet the public eye, the only people who know of its existence are those in the Fatui. The room itself is fairly well lit, though none of that is due to natural lighting, and you have enough space for your own desk, a seat for one patient and a sickbed.

As a private service specifically reserved for the Fatui (and mostly only really used for emergencies), you never really have much to do – of course you’d have the beat up pyro-slinger here and there but, overall, your time is usually spent revising old files, with your nose in a book or sleeping on the job resting your eyes. Though it does get quite boring at times, you know you wouldn’t trade it (even if you had the authority to) because you’d rather not have a lot to do than have too much on your plate.

Well, that was until recently – and then a certain ginger haired Harbinger started having a lot of business in Liyue and, suddenly, you’ve had more paperwork in just a couple of months than you’d had in all your years gathering experience. Ever since his arrival he’s been in and out of your office nonstop and, although it’s none of your business and you’d be lying if you said you cared an awful lot, you still wanted to know how exactly he ended up in such a poor state so often and how he could laugh about it so easily.

“Hello, Lord Tartaglia.” You didn’t bother looking up at him; you knew he was there because you heard his footsteps as he sauntered into your office. Clearly there was something humorous about how exhausted your voice sounded as you greeted him because he immediately erupted into laughter when you spoke to him, causing you to hold back an eye roll.

“Somebody sounds happy to see me.” Although you weren’t looking at Childe, you could just hear the shit-eating grin on his face.

“I’m overjoyed, my Lord. Now, please take a seat,” you uttered flatly as you wore your gloves and finally left your seat to make your way over to the redhead. With a smirk, he obliged and set himself down on the edge of the bed and watched as you gathered the documents and equipment you needed.

The harbinger was fairly compliant and docile during your check-up procedures – making sure his breathing was steady, checking the stability of his heartbeat, testing his reflexes, the usual – and he seemed perfectly fine. But as soon as you began to focus your attention onto his actual reason for being in your office this time, he began acting out again.

You noted his check-up results down at your desk before eyeing him up and down for a moment. He didn’t seem nearly as beat up as usual, if at all, and his clothes only displayed their original colours rather than presenting that deep crimson he tended to come into your office stained with. Even his hair that’s usually scattered in the shape of a bird’s nest seemed a lot less disheveled and you couldn’t help but wonder if this is how good he looks when he isn’t singlehandedly sending the Liyue hilichurl population to the brink of extinction.

“Like what you see?” he cheekily raised an eyebrow and you forced yourself to remember who out of the two of you was more disposable before making your next move.

“So, where is the injury this time, my Lord?” You decided it would be best if you ignored his comment altogether because you couldn’t trust that anything good would come out of any reaction you were capable of giving.

“Haven’t I told you to just call me Tartaglia? It’s weird that a close friend of mine like you would still use such honorifics when referring to me”, the redhead teased.

“I’m not sure if what we have can be classed as a close friendship, my Lord”, you replied, trying to remain as stoic as possible.

“Why not? Unless…” From the way he dramatically trailed off, you had a feeling his next words would be moronic.

“Don’t tell me you see us as more than that?” Yeah, you were right. His voiced carried a faux tone of surprise as he put a hand to his chest in shock and you just couldn’t restrain the groan that tore past your lips.

“Lord Tartaglia, please show me where you are hurt so that I may treat you appropriately.” Frustration and desperation was starting to bubble over in your voice and demeanour and you almost felt embarrassed at how audibly and visibly exasperated you were with the man and his childish taunts.

Feeling satisfied with just how much he had managed to irritate you in such a short time, Childe finally gave up his teasing and pointed to his abdomen. You wanted to be wary of the mischievous glint in his eyes but dismissed it because you couldn’t say that such a look on him was a rare occurrence.

“That’s where your wound is?” He nodded innocently. “Okay, then I’ll need you to lift up your shirt so I can take a look, or you can just take it off if that’s more comfortable than holding it up the whole time.”

You dismissed him saying that he ‘likes where this is going’ while removing his layers but when you laid your eyes and softly pressed your fingers on his abs you noticed something – apart from his old scars and muscles that looked like they were carved by an archon themselves there wasn’t anything there. You could feel your face heating up as you stared for a few moments longer because, although you were simply just examining the area he pointed out to you, you could tell that some kind of taunting was on the way if you stared for much longer.

“Is the injury here internal, my Lord? Perhaps poison?” you spoke after clearing your throat.

“No, what makes you say that?”

“Well, there’s no fresh external wound for me to treat, neither is there any swelling or bruising that would be displayed had you received this from combat so-” A loud scoff interrupted you.

“What are you saying? Of course there’s a fresh wound”, Childe said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. His fingers wandered around his stomach and faded scars for a while before settling in one place. “See, right there!”

Eyes narrowed, you leaned forward to inspect the place where his fingers pointed to and, lo and behold, there was a wound. However, the reason you hadn’t noticed it before was that it was quite literally smaller than a paper cut.

“My Lord,” you began slowly, failing to mask your bewilderment. “Is that the wound you’re here for?”

“Sure is”, Childe spoke with a grin.

You blinked in complete confusion for a moment, the ridiculousness of this situation rendering you speechless. So, he interrupted your quiet time, wound you up like a jack-in-the-box and potentially hindered somebody who actually needs medical assistance from receiving it all for a cut that his mother could have kissed better? Is that what just happened?

“And… what exactly would you like me to do about this?” you asked, still trying to process the situation.

“Come on, I want you to fix me up, doc!” he playfully jabbed you with his elbow and it took all the self control you could gather in that moment not smack his arm away.

Eyes closed, you inhaled deeply and held your breath for a few seconds before exhaling and relaxing your shoulders. Childe had officially become the most annoying person you knew. You shuffled back to your desk where you found band aids along with small wipes which you doused in alcohol before awkwardly dragging your feet back to where the harbinger sat merrily swinging his legs back and forth.

“I’m about to, uhm, clean your wound,” you started, still irritated at the fact that he felt this was an appropriate reason to waste your time. “This may- sting- a little bit.” The lines that you’ve become used to reciting felt redundant but you had to say them nonetheless. Your words were broken up and your voice was robotic, the utter stupidity of Childe’s behaviour making you feel as though your brain had been overloaded.

Gently, you pressed the disinfectant wipe onto his cut and felt your eye twitch in annoyance when you heard the man dramatically suck in air as he pretended to be in pain. As you wiped away the invisible blood surrounding his booboo, you could feel his gaze on you the entire time. Even as you went to grab the band aid, you could see him smirking from the corner of your eye and before you could think, your mouth started moving on its own.

“What are you smiling at?” you huffed without thinking, and then restrained yourself from smacking your hands over your mouth from using such a disrespectful tone on a harbinger.

“You.”

What?

Suddenly, you were frozen in place, your brain turned to juice, your face grew warmer and your mouth stopped working – perhaps you were now the one in need of medical attention. You tried to quickly gather yourself after your brain short circuited by clearing your throat and shaking your head whilst clumsily slapping the band aid onto his cut. Unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough as Childe burst out laughing at you for what felt like the thousandth time, an endeared glimmer in his eyes.

“Did you just come here today to inconvenience me and laugh at me for fifteen minutes?” you sighed in defeat.

The redhead winked as he replied, “Hmm, I guess you could put it that way. After all, seeing you is enough to brighten my day… but inconveniencing you is definitely part of the fun.”

“Tartaglia?”

“Yes?”

“Get out of my office.”