#I technically did not have any plans to pull for this card

[0ann3]

Offering for the Idia GloMas- LJKAHDAKLJS 🙏

[cheyisagirlkisser]

what if reader is a cat burglar and breaks into pitfighter vi’s apartment one night and vi catches her and at first she thinks it’s kinda funny and says “are you dumb? there’s nothing in here worth stealing.” but then she sees how cute and scared reader is and decides to punish her for her actions

CONTENT: Vi x fem! reader, spanking (r! receiving), fingering & oral sex (r! receiving), spit play, hair-pulling, impact play, overstimulation, rough sex, degradation & some praise, dom / sub roles (dom vi, submissive reader), punishment, aftercare in the end

WORD COUNT: 3.1K

A/N: Thank you for the request I loved this one! Also if it's unclear because I only hinted to it, Vi comes back early because she forgot her bandages!! Enjoy<3

Your hands leisurely sift through the jewelry box, fingers brushing against a few rings and necklaces. Then, you feel it. Jackpot. A beautiful emerald, a real emerald necklace. You recall your friend telling you about how Pilties loved their jewels; frisking the accessory out of the box, you didn't expect to find such quality from an undercity home. Once again, another good snag. You smiled to yourself in pride though you were alone and slipped out the window you came out of, onto the night to bring your find to an.. 'old friend.'

The door jingled so comically and shut behind you. There, standing behind a tall desk and in front of shelves of treasures was Harlan: the pawn man of Zaun. He was intimidatingly tall and a snake if you ever did see one, but he was convenient, his building open at all hours of the night. Though most came to sell their own items, he didn't particularly need to know that yours were not technically.. well, yours. All he needed was something to sell up to the top-siders.

"Well, well, well. You've got something new for me today?" Voice so nasal, you'd think he was always in bouts of allergies, but no. Just a natural snake. "Show me what you've got for me, dear."

Your grin was as wide as the Cheshire cat's, "you'll never believe the haul, Harlan."

With raised brows, he bit. "How much?"

"One." Your hands found purchase at the front of his desk, amusingly starting up at his now impatient expression.

"You've come to me with only one item?" He sighed. "Fine, show me. What's so great about your find?"

Your toothy smile only widened, having lured him in for the catch. Then, your nimble hand fished through your pocket, pulling out the fish in question, the emerald shining as if to say, "I cost more than your Zaun home is worth by twice-over."

You had him hooked, and you were happily able to return back to your home with a bag of coins and a few heaps of gold stuffed into your pockets. Once your feet returned back to your humble apartment, you were quick to collapse onto your stiff mattress.

Your life mainly consisted of the routine of thievery. At night, you dressed to cover yourself and bade off to homes to snatch their possessions. From watches to even just coin itself, you were particularly good at going undetected. This was all you knew, and you didn't feel an ounce of empathy. What was fair was fair game, and what wasn't fair were the cards you were dealt with early into your childhood; why should anyone be offered what is simply 'fair', if you are not? You had rent to pay, your own mouth to feed, and everyone in Zaun in fact knew that money did equate to happiness. Everyone in Piltover may have been able to snuff those thoughts down as they mindlessly bought their way through life, leading more extravagance in a nanosecond than any person who'd lived in the undercity could see in a century-length lifetime.

Tomorrow, you thought, would be an even better haul. You usually did not plan through missions, for you were witty and able to go undetected. However, you knew what apartment to pick from tonight. You knew who to pick from, more precisely stated.

Her shoulders were broad, her hair dark. A glint of metal from her piercing flickered through visions, and her betters were smug. Vi was the name all undercity could ever think to talk about anymore. Vi was well-known for her abilities in the ring, and you knew she had a lot of money in her pockets from that. Little did you know that all of the cash went straight to brothels and beer, not to anything you could pick-pocket, though you did love a good quality drink or two.

You planned the perfect burglary: leave before Vi's first fight of the night starts so that she won't be in her apartment for a while, giving you enough time to find yourself her most valuable possessions. Every fight probably lasted under 15 minutes, but that did not include the time she spent at the bar with Loris or preparing for fights, so that added quite some extra time onto however many fights she'd be taking on that night. When you were satisfied with the haul, you would be careful not to leave a trace of yourself anywhere or make any noise that may pin you to the crime; you heard rumors that Vi was sweet on enforcers, and you wondered if that meant that she could possibly make it easier for you to be pinned to all of the robberies in the under-city if she were to ask for it. A trial like that? You'd be easily looking at decades.

You knew that without a doubt, this could go terribly wrong. Not only was Vi disgustingly connected to enforcers, but she was extremely strong. If you were to be caught, your life could be on the line. You weren't weak, but you were in no means fit to take on any pitfights, let alone Vi. However, you were quite foolish and the money from the emerald necklace would only get you so far. Plus, what's wrong with stealing from some enforcer suck-up?

So, you carried out your grand plan. At 8 p.m, the first fight began. Vi had not locked her front door, which surprised you but you were ironically grateful. Made it a lot easier than slipping through a window. Now, here you were, in Vi's apartment.

Taking it all in left you dumbfounded, to say the last. There was almost nothing in sight worth stealing. The room was tinier than you could even imagine; hell, it was smaller than your apartment and that was saying a lot. How in the world does a successful woman like Vi live in a place the size of a college dorm? The bed was hardly a mattress, and all of the valuable items you expected to see within the room were somewhat empty bottles of alcohol, dirty clothes all over the floor, and a few empty plates. Really the only thing worth stealing was the punching bag, but that would be difficult to carry, and you couldn't fit it in any bag you had on you. You momentarily noticed Vi's bandages on the mattress (if you could call it that), which was peculiar knowing that she was known for always fighting with those wrapped around her hands, but you were starting to panic over the fact that you plan was for naught. In a bit of a frenzy, you began sifting through her wooden nightstand's drawers for anything of importance. A flask, a small amount of coins, and a palette of black eye-shadow was all. And then, before you could get a chance to even take those items, you were caught.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" The door slammed. You whipped back around to see her standing a few feet away, looking cautious but not exactly furious.

"I-I..I was just..." Your words seemed to fail you. Everything you could think of, any possible explanation, it all vanished. You thought of coming clean, but she quickly caught you off guard with a burst of laughter.

"Oh my god, are you that thief everyone's been complaining about?! It's you?" She didn't sound even irritated anymore, just purely entertained. You stood, defensiveness creeping into you.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" You shouted, fingers clenching into fists. Okay, so you did not appear to be thief material, to say the least. You didn't look like some big-time robber, only like a 20 year old girl. Still, you almost wished she would've just turned you in. This was humiliating.

"It's just that... you're visiting me of all people? Are you that stupid? There's not a single thing in here even worth taking. You could probably find a mouse who lives in the wall and sell it for more than this place is worth." She laughed once more, looking over your body in a way that made you both offended and somehow hot.

"Oh, please. Says the one who's soft on the top-siders." Your mouth was going to get you in a lot of trouble, it seemed.

Vi's laughed quickly died down, and she began walking towards you. There was nowhere to go but backwards until your back hit the wall. "You wanna say that again, thief? I could have you rot in Stillwater, you know." That threat caused you to begin to panic. You'd heard countless stories of what the guards do to their prisoners, and you didn't think you could even survive an hour in one of those cells.

"I'm sorry, please don't...please don't tell anybody. I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Vi raised a brow at that.

"Yes! I'll do anything, I'll give you all the cash on me, I'll never break into another house again, just..." You were starting to sound desperate, and Vi seeing some cute thief begging, offering her anything at all for her troubles... a wicked idea popped into her brain.

"I wanna fuck you."

"What...?"

"You heard me. I was planning on spending tonight's earnings on the brothel, but you'll work, I guess."

Her demand was met with silence. For some reason, more heat spread through your face at the thought of getting fucked by Vi than you'd care to admit. You knew that if you agreed, she probably wouldn't go easy. Then again, you didn't exactly have a choice. You were in her apartment after trying to take all of her shit. Before you could protest any further, Vi had you pinned against her wall, a hand gripping your chin to keep you from looking away. Her next words were quiet and low.

"Thieves deserve to get punished, am I right?" She let out a small hum at the way your breath hitched, "I mean, 'specially the pretty ones. So what'll it be, sweetheart?"

Your eyes widened at her words. "W-What will...what be?"

Vi laughed, a soft sound. "What'll it be? The enforcer's idea of punishment or mine?"

Your body was already betraying you, heat fluttering in your lower stomach at her words. This was the last thing you were expecting at the previous worries of getting caught, but you had to admit that Vi was hot. She had experience, too. You swallowed and tried to keep a steady voice with her.

"You."

Vi was a fucking maniac, you concluded.

She had you laid naked across her lap, your ass red with her handprint. Her hand spent what felt like hours slamming down onto your ass-cheeks, hitting both with an amount of force you knew that she contained, but didn't expect to feel. Each smack required a number. She forced you to count each and every spank, and if you hesitated for too long or lost count, she would start over. You didn't even remember how many times you were forced to restart because each blow on your rear left you a mess. All the while, she'd throw filthy words at you, somehow causing your pussy to grow wet and drip onto her mattress.

"Whores get punished when they get greedy. You'd know all about that, wouldn't you baby?"

SMACK!

"Every time I spank you, you seem to get even more soaked. A damn mess all over my bed. It's okay, baby. You'll make up for it."

SMACK!

When you were thinking about getting punished sexually, you imagined just a rough fuck. Maybe some heavy kissing and the usual lesbian stuff, not to be bent over this girl's lap and spanked like it was discipline, forced to count and basically stripped of any ounce of dignity your soul had. You had to admit that you loved it, though. The more her hand met your skin, the louder you got. It was absolutely hell, and you looked like it, too. Your hair that was once tied back was frizzy and tangled from the amount of times she'd gripped it to lift your head up. Your eyes were watery, rimmed with tears that reached your cheeks. Your bottom lip was sore and swollen from you biting down onto it to brace yourself for her punishment. Each moment was absolute torture.

And just when you thought it was over, Vi's fingers slipped inside of you, giving you no time to adjust before fucking you senseless. You cried out at the mix of pleasure and pain, trying to squirm away but Vi's hand on your hip kept you right in your place on across her lap.

"O-Oh, fuck!! Vi, please, take it easy on me-" You didn't even sound like yourself now, your voice broken from all of the crying and your words muffled from your face in the mattress. You were so fucking embarrassed, naked on top of this woman's thighs with her fingers thrusting into your pussy like she hated you. You were convinced she did.

"Why should I take it easy on you? You're just a filthy thief who's desperate enough to steal from anyone, and apparently desperate to get fucked." She berated you, voice so unlike what you'd heard before when she was lightheartedly laughing at you for breaking in.

"It's too much, please!! I can't take it.." You pleaded, crying into her pillow. It was too much, that much was true. Each hit to your g-spot wasn't like a brush but instead like a punch to it, and it felt like overstimulation before you were even able to cum yet.

Vi seemed to take mercy on you, at least that was what you assumed.

Her digits slipped out of you, but before you could sigh in relief, she had you flipped over and onto your back, laid out on top of her mattress with your legs spread in a matter of seconds. Soon, one hand returned to your pussy, three fingers pumping into you at a relentless pace as her other hand gripped your chin. Her eyes were dark with something you weren't used to seeing in anyone, and you began to realize why she was so good at fighting - she was fucking insane.

"Open that fuckin' mouth of yours. Right now." You didn't even wait to oblige, quickly parting your lips which were spilling out whines and cries for mercy. Vi spit into your mouth and used her own hand to close your jaw. "Now, swallow."

You swallowed graciously, and a flutter went through you at her taste. She hadn't even kissed you yet, and you now wanted her to. Her saliva was thick with alcohol and iron, perhaps from blood from a previous fight, but you needed more.

"V-Vi, need a kiss.." You begged breathlessly, expecting her to cave.

"You think you deserve a kiss?" You nodded eagerly, trying your best to even maintain the conversation with her fingers picking up in speed. "Yeah? You're getting a kiss after you've learned your goddamn lesson."

Before you could even whine in protest, Vi's head was between your legs, making out with your sopping cunt while three fingers curled to meet your g-spot. "You wanna complain about me fucking you like this, but you're soaking wet enough to take it and this sweet pussy's just clenching around my fingers like she never wants me to leave," she pulled away to remark before diving back in, tongue circling around your swollen bud.

"Oh, fuck!! Vi, no- You're gonna make me cum, Vi!!"

Only, Violet didn't seem to care. In fact, she wanted you to. She wanted you to so that she could do it again, and again, and again.

Vi coaxed the first orgasm out of you with the flat of her tongue and a deep plunge into your stretched-out hole. Each flick of her tongue sent you both squirming away and bucking up into her mouth. Every hit your sweet insides endured had you only gripping at her stained mattress harder. You cried, pleaded, and begged her for more. You could feel her smile against your pussy. She'd give you more, alright.

You were starting to regret your word when her mouth stayed latched to your clit and her fingertips abused your spongey, tender insides. You were practically fucked raw now, ass still red and sore, cries sounding more like a wounded animal than a real girl, and all you could even process was the sensations. You forgot what you came here for, forgot about wanting a kiss. You wanted mercy.

The second orgasm was a brutal paradise. Ecstasy flowed throughout your body in waves until once again, your pussy was feeling the raw overload of pleasure she was dealing you. You didn't remember how many more times this cycle continued, only that by the end of it, your lower half was numb and you recalled through teary vision, her chin coated in your juices and her lips parting to suck the taste off of her own fingers.

When she was finally done with you, she pulled you into her lap and held you tightly. Sure you were a little thief, but a cute one. Vi wasn't a monster. Her hands traced patterned over your back and squeezed you tightly. You sniffled, still coming down from the intensity of it all.

"Shh, you were a good girl 'f me...took it all and now you're here in my lap.." she comforted you, planting her lips onto your hair.

Then, you remembered what you really wanted to feel before you had to leave.

"Can I please get a kiss?" Your head pulled from her shoulder so that you could see her. Vi nearly melted at your eyes staring up at her, so vulnerable and in need of her care.

Of course she leaned in, pressing her lips onto yours with a gentle warmth just for you to have. She didn't rush it or invade your mouth, only spoiling you with her tender affection you craved after her harsh lesson. Her lips made soft smacking sounds against yours, causing you to softly hum against her mouth and lean in closer for more. You needed this stranger's care more than you needed anything else in that moment. When you pulled away, you placed your head onto her bandaged chest, letting her heart beat and sweet coos lull you to slumber. You ended up falling asleep in her arms, and you hoped to come back to her apartment, but rather for her than for stealing. Your body ached with the previous events, but Vi's hold on you didn't leave you throughout the night, squeezing you so softly to hear those sweet, sleepy squeaks.

[boltwrites]

Kitty

Fandom: Marvel; X-Men Pairing: Logan Howlett/Wolverine / Reader (Gender Neutral) Rating: M Tags: Suggestive, Logan's cat ear hair, Teasing

Synopsis: Sleep-addled and maybe a little horny, you ask Logan if he does his hair like that on purpose.

A/N: Fun fact about this one - you could replace reader with Deadpool and the fic would probably be the exact same (but probably with more stabbing). Enjoy! Also I almost titled it Kittyuuuuuhhhh but decided against it LMAO. Is this good? No. But I needed to expel it like some kind of demon. Anyway-

You made a soft pleased noise, arching your back as you stretched as far as you could under the thin sheet of your shared bed. Muscled warmed, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, blinking blearily against the morning light that filtered in through the curtains.

You smiled - sleepy and sweet - as you propped yourself on your elbows to see the figure sat at the foot of your bed. Logan was already awake and halfway dressed, jeans hugging his hips as he leaned over to tug on his boots. Meanwhile, here you were - still in the oversized T-shirt you used as pajamas, your hair messy from sleep.

On that thought, your eyes drifted from where they had been admiring the taunt planes of his back, to Logan's own styled hair. He'd already brushed it, those little tufts that curled into what looked like tiny devil horns neatly defined in the soft morning light.

You frowned. Hmm, no, devil horns wasn't quite right. Not really.

You sat up, a hazy plan dancing through your mind as you crawled your way to the end of the bed. Logan glanced back at you - your heart flipped at the soft smile he offered you, making no effort to shy away from your touch.

"Hey, you don't have to get up because of me," he chided. You didn't listen - instead, you draped your arms around his warm shoulders, leaned in to pepper little kisses along his jaw, even if his beard caught most of them. You didn't mind how it tickled.

"But you're wearing my favorite outfit," you insisted, doing your best not to chuckle. You did like him in worn out jeans and no shirt. It looked good on him. Everything looked good on the man, though.

"I'm wearing half an outfit," he replied, turning just enough so that he could press a proper kiss to your lips. You sighed, pillowing your head on his shoulder as his lips met yours - lazy, gentle. Those weren't words you'd use to describe his kisses at any other time of day, really. This was special.

"I know," you replied, offering him a silly smile as you leaned against his shoulder, arm around his chest preventing him from dressing any further. He didn't seem to mind, though, as your free hand carefully carded your way through his hair - making sure not to displace any of his hard work.

"But something I don't know..." you continued, twirling a finger around the tip of one of the tufts. "Is why your hair ends up like this. Do you do it on purpose?"

"Do I do what on purpose?" he asked. It was laced with a chuckle, like he thought this was one of your half-awake musings. And, perhaps it was, in a way. You were, technically half-awake. But you weren't making things up. It was a real question that had crossed your mind on several separate occasions.

"You know-" you insisted, releasing that little bit of hair from your grasp. "The kitty ears."

"The what?"

He laughed it, pulled away from you if only to make sure you caught a glance of his expression - a mixture of shock and amusement that telegraphed to you that he still wasn't taking you seriously.

You rolled your eyes at him, removing your hand from around his shoulders to scratch along his scalp, up to that little tuft of curled hair. He closed his eyes, made a low rumbling noise in his throat that only seemed to further the illusion that he was really just some big cat in disguise.

"The kitty ears," you insisted, "do you or do you not purposefully style your hair so you have these little kitty ear things?"

You sat up on your knees, reaching both your hands up to curl in the tufts - tugging them just hard enough to make his eyes flutter open as he looked up at you.

"Cat ears," he deadpanned, doubt lacing his words. "You think my hair looks like cat ears."

"Kitty ears," you clarified, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his head. "And you didn't answer my question, which means you absolutely do it on purpose."

"No-" Logan started, tone exasperated. But, unfortunately for him, he was already in too deep.

"Nope, sorry-" you laughed, sitting down behind him to wrap your arms around his bare chest, brushing through the downy hair there. "You're my little kitty now."

"Jesus Christ-" he groaned, rolling his eyes as you kissed his cheek. You made to kiss the corner of his lips next, but he turned his head ever so slightly, trying his best to quell the smile that was spreading. He'd just wanted you to pay attention as he insisted:

"I'm not a fucking cat."

"Why not?" you teased, kissing just under his ear with a little smile. "You've got the ears..."

You snaked a hand up to card through his hair again - making sure to rake your blunt nails along his scalp like you knew he loved. And, despite his dismissive tone, you caught his eyes fluttering closed, his lips parting ever so slightly.

"The claws..." you teased, punctuating each word with a new open-mouthed kiss to his neck - the last dotted with a touch of teeth that issued a sweet rumble from low in his throat.

"The fur-" your free hand slid down his chest - down the dips and curves of his defined abs, to tangle in the thicker hair that disappeared below the waistline of his jeans.

"And, I know how to make you purr," you chuckled, fingers dancing at the edge of his belt as your other hand weaved through one of those silly little kitty ears.

Logan wasn't immune to the way you touched him - when he laughed at your ridiculous comments, it was a bit breathless, even if he sounded absolutely exhausted with your antics.

"I have to get dressed," he insisted, his hand drawing over your own where you'd just started to wiggle your fingers under the tight denim. "And you're being ridiculous."

"Hmm," you hummed, nipping at the junction of his neck and shoulder. The muscles there jumped, tensed, then relaxed - and where he'd been grasping at your hand, your fingers briefly intertwined.

"If I remember correctly..." you pondered, nuzzling against his neck. "Kitties don't wear clothes."

"Oh, come on-" he groaned, laughing as he leaned back against your chest, his head pillowed on your shoulder. You grinned down at him. "How long are you gonna keep this shit up?"

"Until you're sick of it," you promised, kissing the corner of his mouth. He rolled his eyes. "Or, you take your pants off."

"We both know you'll keep saying it even if I take my pants off," he countered, his hold on your hand the only thing preventing you from inching your way into his pants.

"Touché. But -" you bargained. "I'd be distracted."

He laughed, loud and full, and your smile grew even more. That - that's what you really liked. When you could finally get some honest joy out of him. He looked so pretty when he smiled like that, even if it was brief. His hand squeezed over yours - soft, possessive, loving. That made your heart flutter even more than the thought of getting him undressed.

But he was right - you were never going to let him live this down.

[wintfleur]

omg stella telling her brothers she’s starting an only fans as a prank!! they would kill her

౨ৎ it’s just a prank!

﹕─┈ pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X siblings! Hughes brothers )

°. — details ( g; fluff, humor. w; Stella being a little goofy and her brothers are being protective. wc; 2.6k )

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( omg nonnie you are a genius, I had so much fun writing this !!! So sorry it took so long for me to get out. I hope you guys enjoy it !!! )

°. — ( in no way am I meaning to offend anyone who does do only fans or anything like that, by writing Stella’s brothers not being supportive of her doing only fans. I hope that makes sense )

°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )

au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!

Stella was laying in her bed ⸺ well technically the guest bed in the guest room in her brother's jack and Luke's apartment. She was having her annual visit, and it was the time of day where her brothers were both napping, and she wasn't in the mood to go out by herself. She was honestly feeling quite bored not having her brothers around to annoy, that's why she was aimlessly scrolling through TikTok. But her boredom was quickly healed when she watched the latest TikTok lily sent her, a mischievous smile forming on her lips as her mind already formed a plan. 

Stella swiftly slipped out of bed and grabbed her hoodie and put it over her tank top before leaving the room. She heard the faint sound of her brother's voice coming from the kitchen, she could tell that they just woke up from their tone. Both of her brother's heads turned to her as she walked into the kitchen, Luke giving her a tired smile as Jack just groaned and rested his head on the cold island counter they were sitting at. “Can you grab us the milk?” Jack groaned tiredly and Stella rolled her eyes but got the milk for them, nonetheless, setting the carton next to the box of cereal the two were about to destroy. 

Stella pulled out a box of fruit snacks and set them on the counter, only using that as a distraction so she could prop up her phone to film them without them seeing it. She started the video and gave the camera a wink before she turned around and faced her brothers who were shoveling cereal into their mouths. Stella leaned back against the counter and asked, “Can one of you drive me too best buy?” 

 “Sure! What do you need at best buy?” Luke was quick to agree, wanting to spend more time with his little sister, Jack looked at Stella curious on what she needed at best buy, he was about to open his mouth to offer to give her his card, but she was already talking. “Oh! I need to get a ring light, i left mine at home.” 

“Why do you need a ring light?” Jack askes with a confused frown. Stella had to stop her lips from curling up into a smile at the genuine confusion, oh her poor brothers have no idea what they're getting into. Stella gave her brothers a smile and tries her best to sound as calm as she could as she speaks “Oh i need one to film my new only fans video and i left mine at home.”  

Stella bit her lip and turned to face the counter, pretending to do things, knowing that she would not be able to face her brothers without bursting out into laughter. The camera perfectly got both of her brothers' reactions. Luke choked on his cereal in shock and started coughing. Jack dropped his spoon in his bowl as his body went still in shock as he looked at the back of his little sister's head. 

“What did you just say?” Jack asked his sister, hoping that he and Luke heard wrong. There was no way she was serious ⸺ she couldn't be. Stella let out a quiet breath and tried to collect herself before turning around to face her brothers. She turned back around to face her brothers, holding everything in so she wouldn't laugh, she gives them a smile pretending to be unbothered “I need to get a ring light so i can film my on⸺” 

“We heard you!” Luke quickly cut Stella off after catching his breath from his fit of coughs, he shook his head in disgust he did not want to hear his sister repeat it. Jack looks at his sister in fear and shakes his head no, repeatedly muttering no under his breath. Poor boy was stressed. “Stella, you can't be serious! You can't have only fans” Jack nearly shouted as he placed both of his hands on the island counter. 

“And you sure as hell can't film your . . . your videos in our guest bedroom” Luke scoffs his face twisted in disgust, he did not need to know this about his sister, and he did not need to think of what she could be doing in their guest bedroom. “Gross” Jack whined in disgust at his younger brother's words. 

“Why not I really need the money” Stella did her best to frown, giving her brothers her puppy eyes that she knew always worked in her favor, but this time it was different, they were not going to fall for it. Jack's eyes nearly pop out of his sockets at his sister's revelation, she was doing this because she needed money? He quickly reached into his pocket for his wallet while Luke questioned her in shock “Money? Your doing this for money?” 

“Obviously” stella giggled with a shrug of her shoulder, gently biting her lip to hold in her laughter when she sees Luke hold his head in his hands and jack hold out his wallet for her “Here take my wallet, buy whatever you want as long as you delete your account.” 

“Awee you're going to buy my ring light for me?” Stella playfully cooed as she reached for the wallet, very much enjoying messing with her brothers. Luke's eyes widen and he quickly snatches Jack's wallet before she could grab it, over his dead body. Luke scoffs at the audacity “Neither of us are going to sponsor your bad decisions.” 

“Oh, trust me i don't need any more sponsors” stella stated as she tried her best to sound innocent and oblivious. Luke's mouth dropped in shock and Stella was sure she was going to see steam coming out of Jack's ears any second now. Jack pulled his phone out of his pocket with a mission “Thats it I'm calling Quinn, he can talk some sense into your delusional ass self.” 

Stella’s eyes widen and she quickly grabs jacks' phone out of his hands before he could get the chance to call their eldest brother, she also wanted to pull this prank on Quinn when she comes to visit, and she wasn't going to have them ruin that even though she wasn't really looking forward to it. Stella quickly shouted when she noticed the two heated stares from her brothers “Wait! Wait! It's just a prank!” 

Neither of her brothers believed her until she broke out into a fit of giggles and turned around to grab her phone, lifting it up and showing them that they were being filmed. A loud laugh leaves her lips at the sight of her brother's reaction to her phone. Both of their shoulders sag in relief and Jack drops his head onto the island counter and lets out a loud groan of annoyance, while Luke just crosses his arms and glares at his sister. Yes, he was relieved that it was all fake, but his heart was almost beating out of his chest from the stress she just put him through. 

Stella gives the camera a small smile before stopping it, she slides it into her pocket and clears her throat and gives both of her brothers an awkward smile. She could tell that they both were a little upset from the prank. Stella tries her best to sound enthusiastic as she asks her two now grumpy brothers “Who wants to help me plan out the same prank for quinny!” 

Now that got a smile on both of their lips . . . 

Now Stella was way more nervous to pull the prank on quinn than she was with Jack and Luke. Quinn was different. She knew it was just a prank, but she was still scared to see Quinn’s reaction. She was honestly going to blow the whole prank off, but she was starting to get annoyed by the many texts from an impatient Jack asking her if she's done it yet. Not only was she nervous to do it, but there was also just not a good time for her to do it yet. 

She has been busy almost every day, going out with her brother almost every day, Elias and Brock joining them. She was having a great time, so she really didn't want to ruin it by pranking her older brother by making him believe she was starting an only fans account. But she said she would, and Stella doesn't go back on her word. Ever.  

Stella quickly glanced at her brother who was focusing on the video game he was playing on the living room tv. They were spending the day inside, neither of them wanting to go out during the hot day. Stella discretely sets up her phone against a pillow next to her, her phone getting a good view of both of the siblings who're sitting next to each other. 

Stella lets out a nervous sigh before quickly starting the video and leans back on the couch, letting her phone get a great view of both of their side profiles. Quinn was leaning forward with his arms on his knees and a controller in his hand. Stella sat Criss cross on the couch and tilted her head to look at quinn as she spoke “Quinn i have to tell you something.” 

“Hmm yeah, what is it?” Quinn quickly glanced back and forth from his sister and the tv a few times before settling his gaze back on the tv. Stella nervously bit her lip for a second, quickly glancing at the camera before looking back at her brother. She spoke calmly “I think I'm going to start an only fans.” 

Quinn physically recoiled in shock at his sister's words, and the both of them were surprised that his neck didn't snap with how fast it turned to her. The controller dropped out of his hand and hit the rug covered floor. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not believing the words coming out of his sister's mouth “Excuse me?” 

“I’m thinking of  ⸺ “ 

“Why the fuck are you thinking about that?” Quinn asked in a sharp tone as he fully twisted his body to face her. Stella felt her lips twitch up at how high his tone got; it always did when he was upset. Stella pursed her lips before she could smile and ruin the prank, she continued to speak calmly “A lot of people have asked me  ⸺ “ 

“Who the fuck is asking you that?” Quinn questioned stella, his tone angry as he thought of people trying to convince his little sister to start an account, fucking perves his hissed in his mind. No! Quinn was not going to let this happen. She must not be thinking straight, he continued to think. 

“You’d be surprised, apparently I'd make a lot of money!” Stella pretends to be excited at the thought, even giving Quinn a smile. Oh, he's so going to kill me, Stella thought to herself as she watched her brother's concerned expression turn into anger. Quinn shook his head in disbelief, bringing his hand up to rub at his temples as he closed his eyes, a sigh of stress leaving his lips before he opened his eyes and looked back at his sister. 

“Estella, you are 19 years old! You should still be playing with your barbies or somethin!” 

“The minimum age is eighteen . . . I’ve been researching it” Stella hummed as she nodded, biting her lip to stop herself from giggling at the dramatic exhale he let out.

“Oh, is that right” quinn muttered sarcastically under his breath, he didn't know how to approach the situation. He definitely did not agree with the idea of Stella doing that, but he also didn't want her to feel like he was judging her or was disappointed in her . . . but he knew it was a little late for that from his reaction. Quinn let out another sigh before speaking much more calmly “Stella . . . is this really something you want to do?” 

“I think so” she mumbled, starting to feel bad from how stressed he looked. 

“Well, I um . . . all I ask is that you really think about it okay?” Quinn spoke softly as he reached for Stella's hand, softly squeezing it. Yes, he wanted to forbid her from doing it, but he also didn't want to take her choice away from her, she had to make the choice herself, and he didn't want her to feel embarrassed to talk about things with him. He continued to speak as he locked eyes with Stella “This is a big decision, you know. Once things go on the internet, they never come off. Just really think if this is what you want to do.” 

Stella internally awes at Quinn's words, his initial reaction showed that he did not agree and was not happy with her words, but he calmed down and gave her a mature and sweet response. Quinn lets out a surprised “Oh!” when he feels Stella lunges towards him, wrapping her arms around his shoulder for a hug. Quinn is confused for a second, but he quickly returns the hug. Stella squeezes her eyes shut and speaks loud enough for her phone to pick it up “It's just a prank.” 

“What!?” Quinn exclaims as she pulls back from the hug, a giggle leaving Stella's lips at the confused look Quinn gives her. “It's just a prank quinny” Stella gets out between her loud laughter, her head tilting back against the couch. Quinn let out a heavy sigh, his body still tense even with the confession of it being a prank, he had to make sure “So you're not going to make an only fans?” 

“No, I'm not, don't worry!” Stella continues to giggle, her laughter only getting louder when Quinn lets himself lean back on the couch, his hand resting over his fast-beating heart. Quinn shuts his eyes and lets himself calm down, his body relaxing. “Oh, thank god!” 

“Why would you do that stella! Are you trying to kill me?” Quinn quickly shouts as he sits back up, many questions running through his mind. Who gave her the idea to do this? Why would she do this? And do you think I can guilt trip her into cooking dinner? 

“It was Jack's idea!” Stella was quick to throw her brother under the bus, quickly reaching to grab her phone to pause the video before it got too long. Quinn's eyes widen, and a look of betrayal comes across his face at the fact that she videotaped the whole thing. The last thing the camera gets is a shocked Quinn looking over a giggling Stella's shoulder. 

Stella tilts her head to look at her brother who got really quiet, her eyes widening at the glare he was giving her. She noticed a familiar look of mischief in his eyes, and she quickly got up from the couch and rushed down the hallway to hide in the guestroom, just as she closed the door, she heard the sound of his loud footsteps and the sound of him shouting. 

“Estella!” 

stellahughes has just posted a TikTok!

[caption: do you guys think jacks gonna be mad i blamed him? ]

username1 is Luke okay? I thought he was going to pass out from how hard he was coughing

username2 I- the way she blamed Jack. I can’t 😭

username3 they were stressing omg!

username4 the protective glare Quinn gave Stella when she said people were asking for it 🤭

username5 stella sweetie, are you okay?

Stellahughes no, I’m hiding from Quinn in the closet 🫤

Qhughes Hmm good to know

username5 did I just get Stella Hughes killed 😳

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°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @cixrosie @toasttt11 @lxvelyzoe @lovings4turn x )

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 16

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader warnings: language, alcohol, smut, oral, life chats about shitty childhood experiences. nothing too bad.

For a little insight to the resort, check out these vids: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMrqQUKe3/ (for the sake of the story we ARE pretending that this is an all inclusive & food/drinks aren’t an extra cost!)

Emily spent the next couple of days flipping through brochures and scrolling through various locations the Waldorf had but nothing pulled her attention like the one in the Maldives did. Each time she had a spare second to let her brain drift from the task at hand she found herself daydreaming of white sand beaches, stunning turquoise water and the luxury of experiencing all from your own private villa. She needed to go, whether alone, with a friend or with you she honestly didn’t even really care at this point.

So she began to plant the seeds, slowly, spreading them out over time and making sure to nurture them, casually having them drop into conversation. She knew she couldn’t just spring and entire vacation on you, there were multiple things to think of, arrange and take care of before any of that could happen.

First it was a casual conversation the following week, asking about the info drop at Heather’s house, if you really didn’t celebrate Christmas or if she was just teasing, that you had some fun traditions with friends for that time of year. When you said you didn’t, your tradition was usually solo pizza and sweatpants, she could successfully check off the first box on her list.

Second, she lucked out, a mutual friend posting a beachside selfie to their Instagram story that she was able to send to you, her caption reading ‘must be nice’. A few seconds later your reply came through, ‘god, there are few things I wouldn’t do to be oceanside in the sun right now.’

Third, you were out for dinner together at what was a pretty trendy and touristy spot in town and when you server greeted you they asked if you were on vacation. You both laughed it off and after they left you let out a soft groan, muttering about how you hadn’t been on a vacation since the last election. Emily half teasing, asked if you even got vacation time with a job like yours and you chuckled, explaining that Heather was nice enough that if someone from her team didn’t use their vacation time for one calendar year it would carry over to the next, you had about four months racked up, sitting there getting dusty and practically begging to be used.

The fourth and final nod for her to bite the bullet was when she was leaving the Waldorf one morning, the concierge calling out to her, waving her over with a warm smile. They asked if she’d done any thinking about the Maldives, saying that reservations were filling up pretty quickly and they didn’t want her to miss out on the opportunity. They went as far to say that they’d put a thirty six hour hold on a villa for her and that she should definitely think about it, it was a once in a lifetime experience after all. It only took a minute as she chewed on her lip, thinking about her own piled up vacation time and how happy Bailey would be to have her out of his hair for at least a week and she was pulling out her card.

It originally hadn’t meant to be a surprise, she had been planning on actually bringing it up to you, seeing if you were interested and had the actual and emotional time and energy for something like this. There was technically still a chance all you wanted to do over the break was rot in your bed eating takeout and not see a single human at all. Which is why she spent more time fidgeting around with dates than even making the decision to go in the first place, making sure you should have time on both sides of the trip to do whatever it was you’d want to not celebrate the season. She reminded herself that this was nothing out of the ordinary, this wasn’t some huge, luxurious, grand gesture or anything, sugar babies were very regularly taken on vacations like this.

So what if it just so happened that The Maldives were a little fancier than Florida?

**

Your coat was already on, unbuttoned and loosely opened in the front, bag dangling from your elbow as you stopped in the doorway to Heather’s office.

“You wanted to see me before I left?” You asked, lingering just a few steps into the room, “and please don’t let this drag on too long, I’ve still got to go find a couple of new dresses before dinner.”

Heather glanced up from her laptop, “oh, I just wanted to let you know your vacation request was approved, glad to see you’re finally using up some of that time.”

Your head tilted, nose scrunching slightly as you stepped further into the room, “are you sure you’ve got the right person? Amelia and I do have incredibly similar work emails…I only put in for three days.”

She turned back to her laptop, clicking through a few things before looking back up at you, “definitely not Amelia.” She shrugged, “you’re getting paid for the time off, you may as well take advantage of it.”

“I—” Before you could fully formulate a response, there was a clatter of noise behind you and you turned just in time to see Tony catching himself on the doorframe, nearly tripping over his own feet as he entered the office.

“Oh good, I managed to catch you before you left, McGee just would not shut up—”

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked, glancing between him and Heather, the grin slowly beginning to curl her lips up.

Tony shrugged, nodding toward your boss, “she told me to show up at three, pick up her black card and take you shopping for some summer clothes and the sluttiest bikinis we could find.”

“Bikinis?” You raised a brow, turning back to Heather who simply smirked, handing Tony her card and waving the two of you off.

“Well, get going. Would hate for you to be late for dinner with Emily.”

“Emily…” Tony taunted, “ooooooo… now we’ve got a naaaaammee.” He began to prod at your side, jabbing at your ribs before you punched him in the stomach.

“You stop talking right now and maybe I’ll even model some of the bikinis for you.”

He immediately froze, mimicking zipping his mouth shut and throwing away the key as his eyes sparkled and you rolled your own with a scoff before dragging him out of the office.

**

Obviously, Emily had absolutely no reason to be worried about you being shocked or turning down the accidental surprise. But if she had any lingering hesitancies, they were certainly blown away the second the jet touched down and you were escorted to your own private yacht to journey across the ocean to the island resort.

Greeted with fresh warm hand towels and given a mini tour of the boat you were offered a variety of drinks, choosing coffee first to wake up from the plane ride followed by a champagne toast to kick off the start of your vacation. The journey to the island was only similar to a ferry in that it was a boat over water, you were given free reign of the vessel and even offered the opportunity to drive through the calm waters. With the sun basking down on you, most of the time was spent on the roof of the boat, picking through a handful of tapas and getting endless refills of champagne, the true sense of relaxation soothing deep through both of your bodies.

Resort staff greeted you at the island, whisking your bags away for easy transport while you were offered fresh watermelon juice to check in with, making sure that all of your accommodations were set up properly. A brief tour of the main lodge was given, a few of the dining and gift options shown off before you were escorted to a golf cart for a tour of the full private island and all of the amenities you had to take advantage of over the next week and a half. Emily’s hand naturally fell to your thigh while you rode, her thumb stroking at your skin and you couldn’t help but pick up her hand in yours.

Arriving at your overwater villa you almost instantly wanted to scold Emily for how much she must have spent on the place, but between the staff making sure you had no more questions and your distraction by the luxury resort, your thoughts were quickly washed away. The first door opened to the large outdoor space, bicycles for getting around the island on your own, a large cushy porch swing and cozy seating area that was covered, looking out into the ocean. Beyond that was the sun soaked piece of the porch, multiple loungers looking directly into the water, nets sitting directly over the ocean to relax in and if that wasn’t enough, your own large private pool and a hanging daybed on the other end of the area to tie it all together.

Through another door and you entered the inside of the villa, floor to ceiling windows that could slide open to let the fresh salt air breeze around you no matter what time of day. A king sized bed that you just knew was going to be the comfiest thing you’d ever sleep in facing the windows for ample sunset views, large television on an angle from the bed for those late night movie binges and of course long black out curtains for those mornings you just wanted to sleep in. The bedroom had its own mini bar and coffee station, a complimentary bottle of wine and basket of fruit and treats left out for the two of you to enjoy. The small hallway leading to the bathroom had a glass floor to see straight through to the crystal waters. The bathroom itself was huge, two glass walled standing showers and a tub that would easily fit both of you facing yet another wall of sliding doors.

“Emily…” you breathed out, turning back to face her, “this is insane.”

“First vacation in four years? I like to think it has to be pretty memorable.”

“No kidding.” You replied, eyes still scanning around the villa as you leant in, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. “I don’t even know where to start…” You couldn’t help yourself turning on your toes trying to soak it all in.

She chuckled softly, leaning in and kissing the back of your neck, “well… I heard you might have a couple of new suits… you could start with one of those.”

“I do suppose working on my tan would be a good first choice.” You glanced over your shoulder at her, a gleam in your eye as you practically skipped back to the bedroom to change, eager to take advantage of the warmth and sun.

*

You’d been sprawled across one of the outdoor loungers enjoying the sun while finally getting a chance to start on one of the many books in your to read pile for the majority of the morning. An empty cup of iced coffee on the table beside you along with a plate of very succulent and incredibly fresh fruit you were still occasionally picking at. Your finger slid through a page, realizing you’d come to the end of your current chapter and your head rolled back toward the villa, Emily had been napping when you first came out but she wasn’t in the bed any longer.

Curiosity (and the desire for a coffee refill) got the best of you, letting out a content sigh as you stood from the lounger, padding back up the deck to the villa. Emily had pulled a cover up over her swim suit, sat at one of the chairs with her laptop in front of her. You clicked your tongue, but she didn’t seem to notice you returning inside as you walked up behind her, your arm reaching over her shoulder to gently shut the laptop.

“Emily…” you warned, your lips brushing at the side of her neck, “now is not the time.”

“Just one—” She was cut off from even unlocking her phone as you plucked it from her hand, nipping at her neck.

“You pick up your work phone one more time and I’m throwing it into the ocean.” You murmured into her ear, your hand sliding up the back of her neck, threading through her hair as you moved it off to one side. “I didn’t even bring my work phone. C’mon.”

With a slight sigh, she pushed back from the desk, standing up to face you, her first thought that you were going to drag her into the ocean. Instead she was met with your hands toying with the knot of her cover up, gently nudging her further inside the villa.

“You left the BAU in JJ’s very capable hands, if there’s some sort of freak emergency, they can call your personal cell.” You got the robe undone, letting it drape over her shoulders, “you deserve this vacation as much as I do, if not even more. So relax,” the back of her knees hit the bed, her tongue darting out to wet her lips as she noticed the way your eyes were darkening. “You need it, and I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure you come back from here as refreshed as possible.”

“Sounds like a pretty good offer.” She teased and you laughed.

“It’s a guarantee.”

With a gentle nudge from you, Emily fell back onto the bed, shifting until she was comfortable laying against the lush pillows and you dropped over her. Your mouth returned to her neck, pressing sticky kisses into it as your hands began to roam. She could feel the warmth wafting off your sun soaked skin, the slightest hint of coconut from your sunscreen and you had completely invaded her senses. Any singular thought about work gone, every worry melting away a little bit more each time your lips brushed over her body.

Emily let out a soft moan as you trailed down her collarbone, fingers shifting the fabric of her suit to the side to suck a nipple into your mouth, bringing it to a peak before repeating the action on the other side. You kissed, licked and sucked your way across her stomach and down her body until you were settled in between her legs, fingers slipping into the bottoms of her swim suit, sliding it to the side to give you full access to her pussy. Her breath caught in her throat as you blew cool air onto it, fingertips brushing feather light over her slit before pressing into her clit and her eyes fell shut.

“Fuck…”

“You like that?” You murmured, fingers running through her folds again, this time pressing a little harder, dipping into her wetness before swirling around her clit and she let out a low moan.

Rather than wait for a response you leant forward, tongue swiping through her folds, flicking at her clit and your lips curved into a grin at the sound that came from between her lips. Your mouth eagerly wrapped around her, tongue dipping into her cunt, groaning over the sweet taste of her juices. Emily’s hands quickly found their way into your hair, tugging at the up do while trying not to grind herself onto your face.

She could feel the pleasure flying through her already, little sparks shooting off every time your tongue brushed through her, her pussy getting wetter and wetter as her breath started to pick up. In any other situation she felt like she’d be a little embarrassed about how quickly she was turned on and by how much. How the simple movements of your mouth against her cunt had her practically whimpering already, her lower lip trapped between her teeth. However there was something so incredibly different about this, the wide open doors, the entire ocean ten feet from the bed almost feeling like the two of you were exposed to the world when you were actually in your own little bubble. Rather than the sounds of the city, honking cars, people yelling, constant traffic all she could hear was the gentle waves of the ocean, the occasional bird and of course you groaning into her pussy. The entire thing was wildly erotic yet intimate and somehow the most relaxing thing in the world.

As if you could sense the little bit that was Emily still holding back you reluctantly pulled your mouth off of her, your thumb replacing it, pressing through her folds and rubbing at her clit.

“Don’t hold back, there’s no need to keep quiet.” You murmured, nipping gently at her inner thigh and her lip burst free, a gasp coming from the back of her throat.

“Shit!” She felt her hips buck up off the mattress as your mouth returned between her legs, this time wrapping around her clit. “Oh god that’s good.” She couldn’t help but let out a whine, “more, please!”

Your tongue flicked varying patterns across her swollen clit and your hand snuck up between her legs, two fingers easily slipping into her dripping cunt. Her thighs twitched around you, a low swear leaving her lips as her eyes scrunched tighter shut and the fingers in your hair tightened. You wasted no time, crooking your fingers with each thrust until she cried out.

“Fuck! Right there!”

A smirk took over your lips and you increased the pressure on her clit, feeling it throbbing between your lips as her pussy fluttered around your fingers. You picked up the pace, matching the timing that her hips would jump up off the bed, small cries escaping her lips as your fingers continued to brush the sensitive spot over and over again. Each time she felt you pressing just a little bit harder, lingering just a little bit longer and before she knew it her body was shaking, your hands pinning her thighs to the bed as you fucked her through her orgasm.

“Christ.” She muttered, running a hand over her face and you laughed softly.

“Feeling more relaxed?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm…” you grinned wickedly up at her from between her legs, your fingers beginning to smear around her juices, “your words are still pretty coherent, I think I better give it another go.”

She couldn’t even open her mouth to protest before you were back on her and she let out a low moan, head dropping back into the pillows. Every single thought left her, the only thing remaining was the feeling of your mouth, warm and wet on her pussy and the soothing sounds of the ocean as you brought her to her peak another four times.

**

Neither of you had even realized just how much you both needed the break, away from your time consuming and draining careers, to be so far from society out on your own little slice of heaven over the water. Waking up with the sun daring to peak through the curtains, the sounds and smell of the ocean drifting through the villa was one thing, but getting to truly enjoy it, lounging tangled in the sheets while coffee brewed and breakfast was delivered, half the time drowsing off again until you were truly rested, was a whole different story.

Between enjoying the privacy of your villa, warm ocean water and exploring the resort you definitely got your share of vacation. Dinner down at an extensive beach BBQ, the buffet so long you couldn’t possibly fit everything you wanted on even two plates, surrounded by people having a good time, live music and a DJ to keep everyone entertained. There were movie nights under the stars, a variety of genres to keep everyone happy, the earlier the movie the more PG, the darker the sky got, the more fun was had.

You were allowed to completely relax and be yourselves, there was no worry of having to uphold an image, no one cared about who you were or your reputation. Between that and the privacy of the resort, you were free to do whatever you want, and that included public displays of affection. There were no potential spying eyes of FBI management or staff of other government officials who were always looking for dirt. You were free to be you and more importantly, be together. Emily’s hand playing with yours over the table top, tracing the lines of your palm with her fingertip, your arm interlocking with hers as you walked down the beach, her hand on the small of your back to direct you out of the way of foot traffic. The freedom brought a whole new level of peace to an already incredible vacation.

Back at the villa one night after a few rounds of trivia accompanied by fruity cocktails, the hotel staff had made a nightly round to freshen up the mini bar and offer to light a fire in the pit on the veranda. Knowing your night was far from over and you’d very much enjoy more time in the fresh air you accepted the offer, Emily grabbing a couple of the smaller blankets to drape over two of the chairs outside. She heard the shower come to a halt in the other room, followed by the swooshing of the door and sounds of you drying off and searching for clothes.

“Hey, you want a beer or some of this sangria?” She called, picking up a few bottles from the mini bar to examine them.

“Oh my god, beer please. No more sugar or I’m gonna wake up with the world’s worst stomach ache.” You called back, tugging on a pair of pj shorts before finally finding a tank top for under your Georgetown hoodie.

Emily had wandered out onto the patio, cracking both beers and placing one down onto the table for you as she got comfortable by the fire. You came out a few minutes later, one of your hands shaking out your wet hair while your eyes were on a couple of smaller bottles in your other hand.

“How much do you know about hair care?” You asked and Emily huffed out a laugh.

“Boxed dye will destroy it, just let it be natural.”

“So no vote on whether argan or coconut oil is better?”

“No.” She chuckled, taking a swig of her beer.

“Whatever.” You shrugged, dropping the two bottles onto the table before scooping up your beer to take a swig, settling in the chair beside her, a happy sigh leaving your lips at the warmth of the fire. Placing your beer down on the table you slid the hair elastic off your wrist, flipping your head over and gathering all your hair up into a ball.

“Okay, no!” Emily protested, her hand smacking your arm.

“What?” You asked, straightening up as you tightened the band.

“Your hair is soaked and even after washing probably coated with a mix of chlorine and salt, you do that and sleep on it, you’re gonna wake up with it matted so bad it’s practically dreadlocks. At least put it in a braid.”

“It’ll be fine.” You shrugged, “and if I try to braid it it’ll be just as messy.”

Emily gave you a side eye glance, her head tilting in near disappointment, “I’m not dealing with your complaining over knots tomorrow, go find a comb and then come here.”

You shot her a glance but put your beer down to search through the villa while Emily picked up the two bottles of serum, reading through the blurbs on the back before choosing one and you returned to the front of her chair. She pulled a cushion off the spare chair, placing it at her feet as she shifted forward so you could settle on it between her knees.

“Sit.”

You did as she asked, plopping down onto the pillow and handing her the comb as you began to tug the elastic out of your hair. You could already hear Emily grumbling behind you at the harsh way you were treating your hair, her hand quickly wrapping around your wrist to stop your movement, taking the elastic from you to delicately remove it from the already forming knots.

Her fingertips slid up the back of your scalp, softly shaking out your locks, slowly combing through to make sure there were no big knots to be worked through gently before she brushed it with the comb. Emily parted your hair, pulling the comb through it until your hair was smooth and you let out a happy sigh, relaxing further against her.

“You want one or two?” She asked, smoothing back a couple of fly aways with her hand.

“I’ve only got one elastic.” You replied, holding it up and she laughed.

“One it is.”

Moving the comb back through your hair once again she began to style it in preparation for the single braid, gathering pieces of your hair between her fingers as the comb found a home on her lap. Somehow every pass of her fingers matched the rhythm of the waves softly crashing against the sand, drifting underneath your villa. Emily hummed happily, her eyes drifting from your head to the horizon.

“God it’s peaceful out here.”

“Tell me about it.” You replied, a dream-like smile on your cheeks. “And a world better than plates clattering, screaming children, adults yelling and overplayed Christmas music. I can only hear Silver Bells so many times before I want to rip my ear drums out.”

Emily laughed, her fingers slowing to fix a couple pieces of hair, “is it just Christmas you skip out on celebrating or is it all holidays?”

“I think most are useless.” You shrugged, “Halloween’s pretty cool but it kinda loses appeal as you age. First you’re too old to trick or treat, then the parties are all about getting wasted. Thanks to the job I get to be incredibly passionate about the Fourth of July, but fuck celebrating much else, there really isn’t a point. It’s not like I often have the time off to fly home for one single night and lousy dinner anyways.”

“That why you leave the country, avoiding your family?” Emily asked with a smirk you couldn’t see and you were quick with the rebuttal.

“I don’t see you itching to get anywhere to bicker over cold potatoes, under seasoned macaroni and overcooked turkey….”

“You’ve got me there.” She replied, earning a small laugh from you. “When was the last time you were home?”

“Years ago.” You groaned, taking a swig of your beer, “I went back the first couple of years after graduating Georgetown. I no longer had the excuse of full time school to focus on and they said they’d pay for my flight and that I deserved a break.”

“Good old fashioned bribery.”

“Exactly.” Your eyes drifted back to the ocean, watching the way the moonlight was sparkling against the water and felt relief wash over you once again, “as soon as I got to the house I was immediately yelled at because the living room wasn’t clean. Like that was somehow my fault? I understand that yeah, I grew up in that house and was staying in my childhood room, but I hadn’t been home in over seven years, I’d like to think you’d qualify as a house guest at that point.”

Emily dryly laughed again and you could feel her fingertips stroking just over your hairline, the touch soothing you, keeping your heart rate down while you reminisced on the not exactly fantastic holidays.

“I had to make sure my room was clean, despite it being half full of storage and no one was going to be seeing it. I’d get woken up at the crack of dawn and coerced into cleaning, prepping food, cooking and told to be better and go faster, this needed to be a successful Christmas after all. Like, I had nothing to do with planning a far too extensive menu and the entire house was my parent’s mess and I certainly didn’t add a single person to the guest list. We’d go over to a cousin’s house for dinner and everything would be coated with dog hair so why was I tasked with dusting the top of the China cabinet that no one would see?” A huff escaped your lips as your shoulders dropped, the sounds of the ocean soothing through you, your breathing beginning to match the pace of the waves and Emily’s fingers tickled at the back of your neck as she began to scoop up the longer pieces of hair. Your lips curved up into a happy grin, your voice softer when you spoke, “why would I want to be anywhere like that when I could be somewhere like here?”

Your hand gently squeezed at Emily’s ankle and she felt the warmth of your touch slowly spreading through her entire body at the sentiment. Sure, it was very possible you were just referring to the expensive over ocean villa complete with endless drinks and food and a view to die for. But there was a piece of her that just knew you were also alluding to the company, the time spent together and how there was no doubt it made for a superior holiday.

She thought about her own time returning home the few years she did and chuckled sorely, “my job very quickly gave me the excuse to not go home, I remember one year I finally could show up so I figured I owed my mother that much. I got there and the house was full of people, more than half that I didn’t even know. I grabbed a drink, some finger food and was practically ignored by everyone, which I guess made sense as most of them didn’t know me and those that did hadn’t seen me in long enough they didn’t recognize me, or maybe it was that they didn’t know how to treat me like an adult. Everyone else around the house was so much more important than me it didn’t seem to matter, half the time my mother wouldn’t even realize I was there until she found me hiding in the kitchen helping with dishes and she’d shove a drink in my hand, shooing me out of there to go mingle.” Emily reached out, grabbing the hair tie off the table, wrapping it around the end of the now finished braid. Her hand slid over it, making sure there weren’t any lumpy bits before she traced your hairline again, pulling out a couple of shorter pieces, twirling them around her fingers and leaving them to frame your face. She leant forward, hands on your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, “you’re done.”

Your hand reached up, squeezing at hers as you stood, half turning back to her, “thanks.” You shot her a smile, scooping up your beer before settling into your own lounger.

While neither of you continued to say anything pertaining to your not so great holidays of the past, you knew that the unspoken words were still there. That this was far more enjoyable than any of the previous ones could have ever imagined. That you would much rather have each other by your side over pretending to celebrate on your own back home, warding off invitations and insistence from friends or coworkers to join them in their festivities.

There was no better place to be than a tropical paradise, a cold beer in your hand and the warm salt air wafting from the ocean directly into your home for the week.

__________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovak @soverign @v3nusxsky @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @asolitaryrose3 @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice @d33pd3sire-blog @daffodil-heart @maximoffcarter @i-lovefandom @chimnlex @moonlightjxuregui @chestnutninny @gamma-rae-bursts @just-moondust @idkifimasub @gaydragonwitch @dowsedwithbleach @divergentalwaysandforever-blog @m1lfsh4ke

[lemonmaid]

Too complicated

Part two of this X

There was awkwardness in the air.

The clock ticking in the background, the small movement of a leg bouncing, papers shuffling in the background. The environment was alive but the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Well.... Mrx. Riley-"

(Name) eyebrow twitched, "it's (last name)".

The man in front of them winced at the tone, clearing his throat. "Technically- not anymore".

(Name) felt hot, a suddenly pain attacked their brain. They rubbed their eyes, "there's absolutely no way that marriage certificate is acually valid". It was a stupid mistake, drinking on a day off like most people did, but then again many people didn't get married in one night.

"Technically.... those Vegas marriage booths back in the U.S are valid- if there is a court paper, which both of you signed, it is a valid form of marriage".

(Name) sighed loudly, feeling the tears form in the back of their eyes. They wanted to scream and shout, they wanted to rip up this marriage certificate and shred it, burn it, and bury it. This was never the plan, this wasn't how their short backpacking trip through the UK was supposed to turn out.

"Listen you can file for divorce-".

"Yes! Immediately!".

"Yes, onto that soon. But you mentioned that he is military Yes? The process may take longer-".

(Name) felt their heart drop as if it wasn't any lower already, "How long?".

"It could be a couple of months-"

"Months?!".

"Before you'll be seen by a judge that deals with military personal".

(Name)'s hands went to their face, feeling like they've lost everything.

The man sighed, "Listen this can be seen as a.... benefit".

(Name) scoffed, "How is this....mistake been seen as a benefit?!".

"Spouses of those in action have access to more than regular civilians. Healthcare, education, even in your case a green card since you're American yes?".

(Name) bite their thumb, pondering.

(Name) walked out of the building, making a clear shot to the tall man with a surgical mask.

"What did the lawyer say". His voice was gruff, English, very pleasing to the ear if it wasn't for the circumstances (Name) would've had bought him a drink.

(Name) pulled out a ligher and their ciggerates, giving one to Simon while they lit them, "he said it could be a couple of months-".

Simon coughed violently, "You're serious?" He took a long inhane of the smoke, "fuck me".

The sky was getting gloomy as if it was being reflected on their moods. Simon kicked his feet, "so, uh, do you have a place to stay for now?".

You exhaled, "I've been staying at a hostel, why?".

"I've got a small loft that I rarely use, since we are married we should act like it".

(Name) looked at him with a puzzled look, "why would we do that? I mean, we could just, stay seperated until the divorce".

Simon started walking to the car in front of them, opening (Name)'s door, "negative. Since the military now knows, I cannot stay in the barracks and they will "check" on us. Also my team would probably would want to meet you".

You flicked the ciggerate out and rolled your eyes, "the.... Mohawk guy right?". You got into the car, putting your seat belt on.

"Aye, but not just him. My captain too".

You sighed, "great".

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

Ok, I'm going to say something a bit dodgy, do take into account that my beef is with Rick and not Annabeth.

I might have been tempted to read The Chalice of the Gods (as opposed to anything after Staff of Serapis, which I've given a pass) if I didn't know that, as long as Annabeth is there as well, Percy won't be well-written. More specifically, he won't be written as himself.

When Rick wrote HoO, he had to figure out how to include Annabeth in the seven without having all these other powers dwarf her out. He did this by establishing a strict division of labour, according to which she was the strategist, and no one else. That has never been the case, at least not in such an exacting way.

Percy's saved their butts with his plans at the very least as often as she has. He's outsmarted his opponents, he's manipulated them, he has like a signature move that he pulls in almost every single book that basically goes "forget you're an almighty entity who could probably just ignore me without any problem and get down here and fight me at my level!" (tlt: Ares, Luke (unsuccessfully, since he refuses). som: Luke again (successfully, since he plays on his need to control his army's opinion of him). botl: Antaeus. tlo: Kronos. technically Gaia in son), he's been the one to figure out what they needed to from the prophecies (som: that they needed to send Clarisse to camp. ttc: the thing with Atlas's curse. botl: that Nico was the ghost king. I don't include tlo bc Annabeth figured it out first), he often comes up with the winning plans, like how he was the one who figured out how to get past Cerberus, even if it was Annabeth's expertise that allowed them to pull through (just like it was Percy's skill and weapon that allowed Annabeth's plan for Medusa to succeed) or tangling Antaeus on the ceiling chains. The scene with Chrysaor? Perfect blend of knowledge of myths, strategic genius and pure labia. For all the times we see him lose his cool or speak impulsively, we also se him go "wait, this person is trying to provoke me, I have to chill". I saw a comment a little while ago that Percy should've been dragging Giants to the gods feet for them to finish off -- that's what he did! Only he didn't physically drag them there, he planned them there. He tricked Polybotes into following him to Terminus, into pissing Terminus off so he'd agree to help, then killed him. While it was far from complex, he's the one who came up with the strategy to beat Otis and Ephialtes, so they only had to wait for Bacchus to step up.

I'm not saying Annabeth isn't smart. She has an impressive store of knowledge, which in itself is a clever thing to store, because it matches with her style of managing resources -- be they mental, like her facts, or physical, like her hat or things she finds in her surroundings, like the glass balls in Medusa's lair. Annabeth is probably the best at looking at a situation and going "okay, let's look at what we have. Ah, yes, a limitless credit card. Ah, yes, a store-full of clothes that no one's going to want back. Ah, yes, those weird-ass proteins that Hermes gave us, just like Hermes gave someone else food for a place just like this. Ah, yes, knowledge of how to fly a helicopter."

Here's the thing, though. When I read the phrase "Athena-like chatter", I almost broke something laughing. She's good with lies, hers are better and more believable than her friends'. When it comes to chatter, though... I couldn't even tell you how good she is, because I don't think I've ever seen her do something like that before MoA?

But, you know, okay, Rick has to spend more time in her head, she's been elevated in status to one of several protagonists instead of a deuteragonist as she was in PJO (he has to solve this oopsie - I don't agree with everything here, like how, except for her intelligence, Annabeth's other skills are "dump stats", but...), so he has her expand. Good for her. I think it worked alright in her fights in MoA -- a little bit of the old (impressive expertise in certain areas, management of resources), add a little bit of the new (a perceptiveness and gift of gab that she's rarely shown before, if ever, although you could argue she might have taken the "talk your enemy into beating itself" from Percy just like she learned to simplify from Frank).

That's not my real problem. It's this, from when they're fighting Akhlys:

Percy wanted to give her more time. She was the brains. Better for him to get attacked while she came up with a brilliant plan.

... What. Of everything that we've seen of Percy. That I've described just now. Makes sense with this? And please don't give me crap about "it's because his self-esteem is so low!" because 1) this isn't just about what he's thinking, it's about what he's doing, which is pretty much nothing while he waits for Annabeth to save them. He's never lacked initiative like this. Even while thinking, "wow, this absolutely crazy and dimwitted plan is so bad that it's going to get us all killed!" he still did it. ( 2) I've heard "it's bc of his self-esteem/ he plays dumb on purpose" to justify fandom's constant underestimation of Percy's smarts too many time to let it fly now.)

"It's because he trusts Annabeth's judgement more than his own, and he lets her do what she does best when she's available. Other times he's been forced to come up with a plan, it's because she isn't." Did he wait for Annabeth to shoot her shot with Ares before going in with his own plan? Did he keep quiet his misgivings about her level of preparation for the Labyrinth in BotL? Did he leave her to organize the battle plan in TLO? Did he give up after Chrysaor beat him twice in a sword fight and wait for her to come up with a plan? Absolutely not.

"Well, he still beat Akhlys, so I don't see what you're complaining about, it's not like he's useless or anything." True. It wouldn't be the first time he has to resort to brute force to get past an enemy he couldn't outthink (the telekhines come to mind) or that he never even bothered trying to outthink (Hyperion comes to mind), because it's not like strategizing is something that's essential to Percy's style, even if it does come up a lot. I said before that it's his actions that bother me and not what he was thinking, but there is some of that, too. That he wasn't thinking "I can't figure out what to do" or even too busy fighting to start to wonder about what to do, but "there's nothing I can contribute here but my fighting skills". It's sadly a dynamic that Rick has tried to encourage between them.

Sure, Percy only ever gets more powerful, but, even without Annabeth around, he loses any of his braincells. Look at his underwater fight with Polybotes. He starts off in the ship with an impressive display of power -- holding the ship together in the middle of a supernatural storm. Then he gets underwater and immediately loses to PB. The guy he would've one-shotted several times if he could kill him without a god's help. "He doesn't have experience fighting underwater," water not only gives him a strength boost, it gives him a skill boost, as we see in TLT. Besides, how much skill do you need to not swim directly into a cloud of poison? And really, he doesn't get to do anything but that.

Compare it to SON. He's fighting an almost-whole legion of dead people, with a mix of sword fighting and a whirlwind, and he might have won if they hadn't been able to reform. Recognizing that he was about to lose and to give Frank and Hazel a chance to fight Alcyoneus without having to worry about the army, he brings a whole end of the iceberg down to drown them all. And yet, you know what really struck me of all this? How smart Percy was, because he didn't just fight the legion. He aimed for the eagle, realizing that that would be the best way to keep them focused on him and not Frank.

If he's this capable, though, where does that leave Annabeth, who's a skilled warrior but whose most distinctive trait is thinking?

The whole power/smarts dichotomy is also the actual context of that line about Annabeth being the most powerful demigod. He's just spent two weeks teaching Magnus how to survive at sea, when it suddenly occurs to him that the most helpful thing for him to learn is how to "use what you've got on hand -- your team, your wits, the enemy's own magical stuff." Which is how, despite how often he's done just that, he concludes that Annabeth is the most powerful demigod and the best person to teach him how to survive. (Which is, sadly, all that that comment amounts to. Annabeth doesn't then get a chance to strut her stuff, teach Magnus, show off her smarts, play a part however small in his quest, give some insight into her mind -- nope! She says it was sweet of him and then just leaves with Percy.)

With a bit of luck, RR reread pjo to nail down the feel of it in order to write a book that's supposed to be a tie in for a tv show set in the early days (that's a lot of subordinates!), so he might've rediscovered the characters and found a way to balance that with the... way that he writes them now. I'm not optimistic, though.

(Also, if I have to read more of Percy being always afraid of Annabeth getting angry at him or her looking angry at the smallest of things and this being played as her being a girlboss, or how you "have to keep your boyfriend on his toes", I'll claw my own eyes out, but that's another topic.)

[lilac-rose-writes]

Monty: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Carla: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Penny: I personally was created in a lab. Jerome: I just straight up spawned lol.

Principal: Why are you on the floor? Applegate: I'm depressed. Applegate: Also I was stabbed, can you call an ambulance?

Felix: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Ted: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Felix: No! Four to five seconds! Ted: Too late!!!

Kid: How petty can you get? Monty: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Ted: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Carla: What's that? Ted: Remorse code :( Carla: I'm even angrier now.

Jerome: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Cindy: The cow??? Buggs: What? Jerome: Cindy, W H Y?

Lily: Time for plan G. Kid: Don’t you mean plan B? Lily: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Billy: What about plan D? Lily: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Kid: What about plan E? Billy: I’m hoping not to use it. Cindy dies in plan E. Lily: I like plan E.

Felix: Can you keep a secret? Kid: Do you know anything about my life? Felix: No I do not. Good point.

Lunch Lady: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Janitor: You mean literally or figuratively? Lunch Lady: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Ted: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Felix: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Ted: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Felix: Teddy, they...they weren’t always orphans. Ted: ...

Nugget: Goodbye Pretty Lily! Goodbye Friend Billy! Goodbye Bully Buggs! Goodbye Mean Cindy! Goodbye Pretty Lily! Jerome: You said ‘bye Lily’ twice. Nugget: Nugget likes the Pretty Lily.

Buggs: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Kid: I think you mean cards. Buggs, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Carla: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Ozzy: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Carla: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Monty: Actually I did the math, Ozzy would have $225, not $0.15. Carla: Fam I’m right here.... Penny: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Billy: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Penny: Sorry I only have a dollar :( Billy: :(( Jerome: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Ozzy would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Penny: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Ozzy: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Carla: Yeah and she wants soda and apply juice Monty: Apply juice to what Billy: Directly to the forehead Lily: Great chat everyone

Jerome: A theif. Monty: Thief? Jerome: Theif. Monty: I before E, except after C. Jerome: Thceif. Monty: No.

Bob, driving Penny and Billy: So how was your day? Penny: We almost got surprise adopted! Bob: What? Billy: We almost got kidnapped. Bob: Oh, okay. Bob: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Carla: If you had to choose between Jerome and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Monty: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Jerome: Monty! Carla: 63 cents. Monty: I'll take the money. Jerome: MONTY!!

Ted, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing. Kid: Okay Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink? Ted: Orange soda, please! Felix: I'll have the strawberry soda. Kid: Me too, strawberry soda. Ted:

Carla: I can explain. Penny: Can you? Carla: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Billy: I turned out perfectly fine! Lily: Billy, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Billy: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Jerome: What are your goals? Kid: To pet all the cats. Jerome: No, fitness goals. Kid: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the cats.

[blaperile]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon (reactions pages 554- 576)

Wow, that was quite a heavy update.

I love that we finally got some insight into Yiffy's personality! Feels like she got a lot from Rose there, haha.

Too bad we still don't have dialogue from her yet though, I wonder when we'll get that honour.

But yikes, that tension between Kanaya, Rose and Jade. When Kanaya started putting on her lipstick I got REALLY afraid that the lipstick was going to turn into her chainsaw and that she was going to attack Jade with it. Good thing that didn't happen.

Rose and Kanaya's relationship has gone through a lot across both Meat and Candy!

What's drawing my attention MOST OF ALL though is that shot of Jade's captchalogue card!!

That's clearly a hand with stitches on it… which heavily implies it to be a STUFFED CORPSE. :o

We know Jade and her Grandpa had quite a history with stuffing corpses, so this immediately makes you wonder… whose corpse is this? And just what is the Homestuck Beyond Canon team planning on doing with it?

The most obvious candidate is Candy Dave's corpse! He recently died, from Jade's perspective, and she was most likely the first one to find his corpse. So if her old mannerisms surfaced again, perhaps she immediately stuffed him?

It's kind of a strange pose for this hand, but maybe his corpse is still lying in about the same pose Jade found him in?

If they all end up in a new SBURB session, does this mean we're going to get a new Davesprite???

And what impact would it have on Davebot, if any? Seeing as it's technically Candy Dave's consciousness (in ultimate self form) inhabiting the robot, would it be pulled from the robot into the sprite and cause the robot to explode (just like Aradia experienced when she went God Tier)?

Even the "WEE WOO" text beneath the panel is heavily implying this, using red and orange text, much like Dave and Davesprite's text colors.

An alternate interesting theory raised by abundantChewtoys is that it's Candy Dirk's corpse. I don't think it's very likely considering that they had a funeral for him and all, but it would be another notable corpse here in the candy timeline Jade could technically get her hands on AND it also fits with the text colors (Dirk's orange and Arquiusprite's red).

Finally another excellent point abundantChewtoys raised is that this update made sure to point out that Rose never buried her Mom. But then what DID happen to her body? Was it left on the Battlefield?

I may recall John or pre-retcon Jade having mentioned that they had a funeral for the dead Guardians on the 3-year trip on the Prospitian battleship? I might be remembering that wrong though. I can't find it with the search function, so my mind might be making it up.

But in any case, post-retcon Jade was ALONE on the ship, she had no John or Davesprite with her. So, knowing her family history, it's POSSIBLE she stuffed the corpses of John's Dad and Rose's Mom (and Dave's Bro?)… and that she still has those corpses with her?!

Anyway, most likely it's "just" Candy Dave's corpse, but it's hilarious to think of the other possibilities as well. At least we know for sure it's not a troll corpse considering the white human-like hand, hahahahaha.

I also just want to point out that this green captchalogue card implies this to be Jade's Pictionary modus… which would mean Jade had to DRAW the corpse to captchalogue it… think about that for a minute. Yikes. :(

It's interesting how in both Meat and Candy we currently have someone holding onto a dead corpse (Terezi holding on to John's body and Jade hanging on to this mysterious body who may or may not be Dave). Where is this leading? New Sprites in a SBURB session or something else entirely?

Finally I just want to talk about James Roach his newpost, where he hints one or more [S] pages are upcoming a few months from now!!!

I'm VERY excited about that, but also very curious what it could be about…

Ever since this new creative team took over we've got plenty of updates which seem to be building up to everyone heading to the Plot Point at the meteor. So are we going to get an [S] page featuring an epic confrontation between Jane and the rebels at the meteor, tying up everything that's happened so far in Candy and ending this "Act"?

Maybe that same page will also be the one to finally reveal what the Plot Point truly is. Is it some kind of portal (like from Hiveswap) to the Meat timeline or is it something else entirely?

My mind has been going crazy on theorizing and imagining where this could be going.

If everyone is gathering on the meteor and the Plot Point will activate then and there, what if it will somehow transport the entire meteor to the Meat timeline and have it go to Deltritus??

That would be an absolutely crazy but also amazing way to merge the Meat and Candy storylines into one.

Alternatively, I would find it hilarious if the Candy meteor transports to Meat Earth and it turns out that Calliope and Caliborn grew up there in the distant future (making it a combination of Candy and Meat, which is an appropriate symbol for both Cherubs).

[thommi-tomate]

Thomas after the match against Ulm

(on the game) Overall, our approach to the game, our game idea and, above all, our work against the ball was good. Serge, for example, defended a lot in his own penalty area. Unfortunately, despite a good approach, we made a lot of technical mistakes, a lot of inaccuracies. But the reaction to that, the switching with the ball, that was a completely different house number than we've been used to in the recent past. At least that was my feeling on the pitch.

(on his goals) Some people don't believe it, but I feel great, not only physically, but also with the guys. Of course, it always feels good to score. But it's not about individuals, it's about the success of the group. If you look at how we work without the ball, you can see the difference. There was a completely different energy on the pitch, and that nipped our opponents' hopes in the bud.

(Kompany's game idea) I'm not going to give that away now. The opponents should at least put a bit of analysis work into it. Wolfsburg should now analyze what we're planning to do themselves and then we'll see. Basically, you can see that something has to happen. This spirit of optimism, everyone is challenged and I think you've seen other cup games against lower-ranked opponents, especially when the ball is lost, where the front line first pulls the handbrake and waits for the next action. We galloped back today and that was the first step today

(whether the squad has improved) Firstly, that doesn't matter at all. Secondly, it's a question of taste and thirdly, it doesn't do us any good to talk about an improved squad every year. Every team has the goal of constantly improving the squad. Accordingly, it's more of an arms race and the cards are reshuffled every year. We simply want to show significantly better performances this year so that the fans and we ourselves can sit around the coffee table afterwards and be satisfied. That's what it's all about, we have very good players who are all really getting stuck in, so far everyone is pulling their weight, no matter what the situation is, so we have to keep at it. We'll see what happens week by week

(about his own performance) I did my job satisfactorily, had a few good moves. That makes me happy, of course, you always want to be involved, be active, be dangerous

But there are also games where things don't go so well for me personally. So I'll take that on board and try just as hard again next time

[moodymelanist]

But If She's A Ghost (Then I Can Be A Phantom)

happy last day of @cassianappreciationweek everyone! it’s been so amazing seeing everyone celebrate our favorite bar boy!!

this is part 2 to I Depend On Me from Nesta Week 2023, so if you haven’t already read that one you might be a little confused lol.

hope you all enjoy ❤️‍🔥 the final part of this series will be coming during @nessianweek hehehe

Summary: Cassian, Azriel, and Mor follow the Valkyries to try and finish their mission.

It doesn't quite go according to plan.

Word Count: 2,280

Read on AO3 here!

✵✵✵✵✵✵ Cassian 

Cassian had been hoping that Nesta and her friends would show up tonight, but getting to dance with her was practically the cherry on top. He could hardly believe his luck when she’d let him approach her, let alone wrap his arms around her and hold her close, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain about it. 

The longer they traded innuendos and flirted back and forth, the more Cassian knew this was meant to be a distraction. But damn if he wasn’t having fun twirling Nesta around and holding her close. 

“I hate to dance and dash, but…” Nesta said once she’d finished her spin and faced Cassian again. “I’m afraid I’ve worn out my welcome.”

“And what if I want you to wear me out instead?” Cassian fired back without missing a beat. He knew she wouldn’t take him up on it, but he really did like this little game they had going. 

“Then I suppose you’ll have to keep holding your breath,” she replied, deftly stepping out of his hold once the song ended. “Have a good night, sir. It was lovely dancing with you.”

Cassian could only gape as Nesta bent over slightly and smoothed out the wrinkles on her dress, unable to tear his eyes away from the frankly ridiculous way her breasts were almost spilling out of her dress, before straightening up to walk away. Between her calling him sir and giving him a show like that, Cassian’s jaw had gone a little slack, and the little smirk she threw his way as she sashayed her way out of the gala only made the growing situation in pants even more pressing. 

“You two are disgusting,” Mor said as she slid into the empty spot Nesta had left behind. She dropped her voice into a mockery of Cassian’s as she repeated his comment to Nesta. “‘And what if I want you to wear me out instead?’ Gross.”

Cassian raised his arms and started dancing with Mor automatically, not wanting to piss off anyone else in the vicinity tonight. “Thanks for the support. Really, you’re so kind.”

“The only thing getting worn out is my patience,” Azriel muttered over the comms. “You’re insufferable.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cassian replied, rolling his eyes even though he knew Azriel couldn’t see him. “Laugh it up.”

“The other Valkyrie took the chipped card, so at least we have that going for us,” Azriel informed them. While Cassian had been working the floor, Mor had been the one to pick their target’s pocket and stick a near-undetectable tracking device on the back of his room key. “I need you two back at the rendezvous in the next ten minutes so we can follow them.”

“I love it when you talk technical to me,” Cassian responded, winking at Mor since he couldn’t wink at Azriel. 

Mor chuckled at Azriel’s loud sigh before fixing Cassian with an unimpressed look. “I think that’s enough flirting from you tonight, lover boy. Keep your head in the game.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cassian told her. He fired off a crisp salute before turning to follow her out of the gala. 

No one paid them much attention as they cut a path for the entrance, Cassian trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible. It was a little difficult when he was all big and tall as he was, but hopefully the most anyone would remember — if they remembered him at all — was wishing that they could’ve been the ones to leave with him instead of Mor.  

Once they made it back to the van Azriel was running this part of the mission from, they didn’t waste any time. Azriel pulled away from the curb and started driving, Mor immediately started stripping out of her red ball gown and into her familiar tactical suit, and Cassian swapped out his tuxedo jacket for a bulletproof vest. “Sitrep?”

“All we have to do is leave with the drive before the Valkyries do,” Azriel said as he continued to drive. “We can let them do all the hard work of getting into the room and cracking this guy’s safe for us.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad,” Mor said back, only slightly out of breath as she yanked a thigh holster on and slid a gun into it. 

“Only if they don’t know we’re coming after them,” Cassian chimed in. He tightened the straps on his vest before changing out his shoes to something more practical. “They don’t fuck around.”

“They definitely know we’re coming now,” Mor grumbled. “ Someone just couldn’t help himself.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cassian responded, rolling his eyes. He’d known he was supposed to stay far away from Nesta and her friends, but he just hadn’t been able to help himself when he’d seen her in that goddamned dress. “I’m but a man, Mor.”

“You’re just lucky I was able to put that tracker on the card,” Mor told him. “Devlon would’ve had your ass if we fucked up the mission otherwise.”

“Yeah, like you wouldn’t have loved watching that,” Cassian sniped back good-naturedly. Devlon was their commanding officer and every time he yelled at Cassian, it was like Christmas came early for Mor. 

“Less bickering, more arming yourselves,” Azriel cut in with the air of someone tired of keeping them in line but long resigned to doing it anyway.

“Yes, Dad,” Cassian and Mor responded in perfect unison before they looked at each other, snickering. 

The three of them had been working together professionally for years, and had known each other personally for far longer than that. Cassian and Azriel had grown up together, the two of them both deciding to enlist, but they’d gone their separate ways when Cassian had joined the Marines and Azriel had gone Air Force. They hadn’t met Mor on account of her being Navy until they’d all worked their way through the ranks and gotten transferred to the same CIA unit. The higher-ups had noticed how well the three of them worked together, and the rest was history. Cassian couldn’t remember the last time he’d been assigned to work a mission without the two of them, and quite frankly he didn’t want to. They were more than his fellow soldiers; they were family, and one of the few people he trusted to watch his back as well as he’d watch theirs. 

“Alright, we’re approaching the location now,” Azriel said after a few minutes of silence. “The tracker hasn’t moved for the last few minutes, so we’ll go in and see where the rabbit hole leads us.”

“Are you actually coming inside with us?” Cassian asked, peering at Azriel curiously from the back seat. Azriel tended to prefer sitting back and planning their operations these days, only coming out into the field proper with them on rare occasions. “I feel like a proud parent right now.”

“Someone has to keep you idiots in line,” Azriel replied dryly. He pulled the van into an empty spot, making sure to double check that they didn’t need to feed the meter before the three of them headed toward their mission. 

Cassian had to laugh quietly at the mundanity of the thought that even highly-trained spies needed to make sure their getaway vans wouldn’t get towed. They all made sure their weapons were in working order before heading around the back of the hotel. 

The hotel had a service entrance that they took full advantage of, avoiding all the fanfare that entering through the front would’ve put them through. While they were waiting for the service elevator, Cassian sighed and turned to Azriel and Mor. 

“Let me try and talk to her first,” Cassian said. He wasn’t so delusional as to think Nesta would be swayed from her getting paid by him batting his eyelashes at her, but maybe they could work something out without it ending in a fight. “Before we go in guns blazing.”

Mor rolled her eyes so hard at him it was a miracle they didn’t fall out of her head. “She’s not falling for your lover boy act.”

“It’s definitely not an act,” Azriel muttered, pulling a little laugh out of Mor. 

“Just— let me see what I can do?” Cassian tried again as they got onto the elevator. 

“Fine. Thirty seconds,” Mor acquiesced. “But after that I’m shooting something.”

Azriel used a spoofed hotel key to get them to the fifteenth floor, and once they got off the elevator the three of them slowly crept their way down the floor until they made it to room 1536. They didn’t encounter a single soul on their way, and the hall was eerily silent even for a hotel as high class as this one. 

The Valkyries had been at the hotel for at least ten minutes — more than enough time for them to have broken into the room and started trying to crack whatever security Hale had around this drive. They didn’t have time to keep being subtle, so Cassian caught Mor and Azriel’s eyes before he counted to three and used their spoofed key to enter the room. 

“Well, well, well,” Cassian called out as he entered the suite. The key had made a little whirring noise once he’d used it, so there was no point in trying to sneak around; any operative worth their badge would’ve heard the noise. “What do we have here?”

Cassian got a quick glance at the other two Valkyries fiddling with a safe before Nesta filled his vision. She’d ditched the dark blue dress in favor of a suit that was remarkably similar to Mor’s, the material stretchy enough to show off her sweeping curves while also thick enough to protect her from a host of nasty injuries. She was pointing a gun directly at Cassian’s chest, bulletproof vest aside, and boy did she not look happy to see him. 

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” Nesta said dryly. At Cassian’s smirk, her expression turned distinctly unimpressed. “That wasn’t a joke.”

“Mhmmm, I love it when you threaten me,” Cassian told her, still smirking. He loved nothing more than a dangerous woman, and Nesta was one of the most dangerous women he’d ever met. “Really gets me going.”

Just as expected, Nesta’s features morphed into an outraged glare. “Do you not possess any home training?”

“You know I can’t help it when it comes to you,” Cassian responded, his smirk turning into a more earnest smile as he looked at her. “Twice in one night. How could I be so lucky?”

“I wouldn’t call it luck,” Mor replied from behind him. At the sound of someone else’s voice joining the conversation, Nesta’s expression shut down completely, her eyes flitting around over Cassian’s shoulder as she cataloged the latest threat. “Maybe creative stalking.”

Damn. He supposed his thirty seconds had gone over much faster than he’d thought. The moment Mor stepped over the threshold, one of the other Valkyries — Emerie, he thought — appeared out of nowhere, darted around Nesta and Cassian, and aimed a roundhouse kick at Mor’s head. 

Mor ducked out of the way, and it was all the signal Cassian needed. He tried to take the gun out of Nesta’s hands but she’d clearly anticipated the movement and flung herself backwards out of his reach. Cassian rushed forward to create more space in the crowded entryway, allowing Azriel to dart around all of them to try and get to the last remaining Valkyrie who was still working on the safe. Azriel would be able to handle himself, and Mor could hold her own, too; Cassian didn’t have time to even think about worrying. Jokes and flirting aside, he had to devote all his energy to staying sharp while grappling with Nesta. 

It was absolutely exhilarating fighting Nesta. Cassian couldn’t stop smiling every time they connected, from him blocking her jabs to the way she’d use his force against him to dodge and weave around his punches. He’d almost forgotten how fast she was, how well-trained she was, and though his heart broke a little every time he thought of all the things she’d probably had to go through to get this good, a much larger part of him was so thankful that it had resulted in the two of them being here at the same time. 

As they fought around the room, Cassian and Nesta ended up closer to the large sliding doors that let out onto the suite’s balcony. Azriel and the redheaded Valkyrie from the gala had moved their fight to another part of the suite, leaving the two of them to duke it out near the enormous, floor to ceiling windows. If he hadn’t been so focused on his objective, Cassian would’ve loved to admire all the glittering lights of the city spread out below him. 

Unfortunately, those glittering lights also spelled out danger. Too quick for Cassian to react to, there was the sound of shattering glass, and something struck Cassian perfectly in the neck. The sharp sting of pain distracted him just enough for Nesta to swipe his legs out from under him and he hit the ground hard, disoriented between the sudden pain in his neck and the way he’d fallen like a sack of bricks. 

“Oh, fuck,” Cassian said, pulling what looked like a tranquilizer dart out of his neck. Whatever he’d been dosed with was strong; he could already feel his vision getting a little hazy around the edges. God, he couldn’t believe he was getting knocked out like this in front of her of all people; he’d never live this down. “Son of a—”

The last thing Cassian saw before he passed out was Nesta’s lips forming his name. 

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing

[bergdg]

Analyzing Invention: Some Data for the Inventor's Fair 2023

As a way of introduction, the Inventor's Fair is a Magic: the Gathering card design contest blog here on Tumblr. Each week, a contest is announced and members of the community submit designs throughout the week meeting the design specifications. At the end of the week, a few winners and runner-ups are selected, with commentary given by a series of judges. It's a fun exercise in creativity, one that I have participated since November 2022.

This past week, I decided to go back and compile some data about the blog, from January 1st, 2023 to Dec 2nd, 2023. I got some general data and then did a dive into data on the winners and runners-up. I would have loved to look at data for all of the entrants (on average, 23 each contest), but that was just a little too much for the time I have.

If this all sounds interesting to you, continue reading past the line.

To start, let's look at that general data:

Image: Line graph showing the weekly totals for entrants and a rolling 3-week average.

To start off, there have been 48 contests thus far during the year, with 4 more potentially planned (yes, Dec 31st would be the posting date for one of the contests, so it is technically a 2023 contest).

In the above graph, I included a 3-week rolling average as a trendline: basically the average shown for a week is the average of that week with the two weeks preceding).

The highest participation happened from February to mid-May, which corresponds to the Spring Semester in the US school system (my area of experience).

The contest with the greatest number of entrants: Teamwork Makes the Dream Work, which started on April 16 and had 36 entrants.

The contest with the lowest number of entrants: Re:Vision, which was the most recent contest and had only 8 entrants.

Now let's dive into some of the stats around the winners and runners-up:

Image: Bar graph showing the entry counts for winners and runners-up.

There have been 50 unique entrants who have been either a winner or a runner-up so far this year. Many entrants have been part of the contests since the beginning of the year. The most recent entrant to have their first win/runner-up was @aethernalstars, in the Nov 12th contest Lost Caverns of Ixalan's Lost Vault.

The entrants with the highest numbers of wins/runners-up so far:

@spooky-bard: 22 total, with 16 wins

@izzet-always-r-versus-u: 16 total, with 10 wins

@nine-effing-hells: 15 total, with 7 wins

@hypexion: 14 total, with 5 wins

(tie) @deg99 and @bread-into-toast: 13 total, with 8 and 7 wins

Congrats to these entrants for some spectacular submissions!

So what makes a winning entry? Mostly the awesome creativity of the entrants, but here are some stats about the cards themselves that I found interesting.

Image: Bar graph showing the card types of cards that were submitted and were selected as a winner or runner-up

By far the most popular card type was creature (and this includes Artifact Creature and Enchantment Creature submissions). Granted, there were several contests asking for creatures, like Rebels and Dragons. But it is such an overwhelming favorite that I just had to call it out.

As a note on other, I lumped things like planes and phenomenon into a single group, just to keep things simple (since there weren't that many)

Image: Pie (donut) chart showing the colors that were part of the color identity of cards submitted and selected as a winner or runner-up

Here, there has not been any contests for making cards in a specific color. However, red is a clear favorite among entrants. This is a mix of mono-red and multi-color including red cards. Black, white and blue are all closely tied for the 2nd most popular card, with green being fifth amongst the colors. I included colorless, but that being a low count is to be expected as I looked at color identity instead of cost, so many land submissions were pulled into one of the color categories.

Image: Table of the mana value of cards submitted submitted and selected as a winner or runner-up

Here, we see that the most common mana value of cards was 3 - 84 cards total! 4 (with 60) and 2 (with 41) came in 2nd and 3rd.

Image: Pie (donut) chart showing the rarities of cards submitted and selected as a winner or runner-up

Entrants seem to really like submitting Rares (114 total) and Uncommons (92 total), as they made up almost 75% of all entries. The number for commons will get a small bump from a recent contest that is currently being judged: One for the Money, but nowhere near enough to dethrone the other two.

SO, if you were to submit a card, it seems like the best chance for a winning submission is a red/partially red creature that is rare/uncommon and has a mana value of 3/4. Looks like a Santa Clause card is up for the next few weeks ;)

Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed this nerdy dive into some of the data behind the @inventors-fair of 2023. Looking forward to what y'all come up with in the next few weeks!

[gatheringfiki]

The following ficlet was written by @i-am-still-bb​​ based on this photoset.

Fili/Kili, Teen

You might also be able to read this story on AO3.

If you’ve enjoyed this story, please leave a comment either in replies or on AO3. :)

Planning

—

“Do you need help with that?”

“What?” Kili startled. He had been lost in his mental list of things that he needed to get done for the holidays. At the top of his list was “make a list.”

“Those,” Fili Durin pointed to the boxes filling Kili’s hands.

“No. Thanks. I’ve got it,” Kili replied, shouldering the door open.

“You don’t look like you’ve ‘got it,’” Fili said skeptically as the boxes teetered precariously.

“I’m fine,” Kili said more brusquely than intended. He did not want to be friends with Fili Duirn. He was the person that the town had brought in to design a new downtown. And that pretty much always meant more roads and more parking which meant more money was needed to maintain the roads and then there was  less money for the library and functional landscaping that Kili advocated for. And as one of the town’s part-time librarians he felt that it was his job to give this errant urban planner the shoulder, no matter how good he looked in a flannel shirt and Chelsea boots. 

“I really can get the door for you.”

Kili did not respond and managed to open the door into the post office without dropping any of the packages that he had carefully packed and labeled just that morning in between customers in his stop of odds and ends. He tried to keep the website current, and, even though that was not his favorite task, a significant portion of his business came through the internet.

“Christmas presents?”

Kili’s eyes rolled so far back in his head that he could feel his head tip back. “No,” he replied without turning around.

“What’s in the packages then?”

“Orders.”

“What kind of orders?”

Kili turned around. “Orders that get mailed. I’m assuming that you have something that needs to be mailed and that’s why you followed me in here.”

“I was here before you, so, technically, you followed me.”

Kili snorted. 

“And yes, I am mailing something—Christmas cards,” Fili pulled a thick stack of luxurious white envelopes from his field jacket’s pocket as proof. 

“I would have pegged you as the ‘e-mailed greeting card’ or ‘post on social media’ person.”

Fili grimaced in disgust, scrunching his nose. “Absolutely not.”

“That would be more efficient.”

“In some ways.”

“And urban planners are all about efficiency,” Kili grumbled. He turned away from Fili to face the back of the person ahead of him in line, hoping that this meant the conversation was at an end. He wanted to ask what sort of cards Fili was mailing. Those envelopes suggested something more expensive than the box of 20 cards that you could buy in any drug store. Books and paper were Kili’s forte. He once spent an afternoon arguing with someone (online!) about the pros and cons of Tomoe River Paper versus MIO paper. 

And then it was his turn. Kili set all the packages down and made small talk with the postal employee about the weather and the upcoming holiday parade and the town’s annual Sip and Shop. 

“Sip and Shop?” Fili was leaning on the counter at the window next to his. 

Kili really did try not to notice how Fili’s eyes almost sparkled (how gross was that? And, more importantly, how was it even possible?) when he asked the question. “Haven’t you seen the fliers? They’re everywhere.”

Fili turned to face Kili more fully, one elbow still propped on the counter. “Maybe. But I don’t think I get it.”

“It’s to promote shopping local over the holidays,” Janice, one of the postal workers said. 

“There’s an ordinance in place that lets the restaurants downtown serve wine and beer alongside appetizers while people shop and enjoy the Christmas displays and lights.”

“That’s a good idea. And it sounds fun.”

“It is a great time,” Janice said. And then she gave him his total for his postage. “Have a good rest of your Friday,” she said with a smile. 

And Fili was still hot on Kili’s heels when they were leaving the squat brick building that housed the post office. “Are you going to be joining in the sipping and shopping?”

“I probably have to work.” Kili waved goodbye and climbed on his bike before Fili could say anything more. 

Kili did not see it, but Fili watched him pedal away, 

—

The downtown was glowing with Christmas lights. Most of the stores had put up lights at the very least, some had displays, and others had their employees dressed up like elves. He smiled and took a sip of his hot chocolate.

 This time of year was Kili’s favorite. He had many fond memories of reading books with his parents and helping with the Christmas shopping and preparations. 

“Hard at work I see.” 

Kili could not even summon the annoyance that he tried to hold close to his chest whenever Fili was around. He shrugged. “This is work,” Kili gestured to the streets. “Supporting my town.”

“Hmm.” Fili nodded. His bare hands were wrapped around a paper cup.

“What drink did you pick?” Kili asked.

“Oh,” Fili lifted the cup to peer at the marker label, “the Krampus, I think it was?”

“That’s a good one.”

“You?” 

“Hot chocolate. I would have gotten their peppermint mocha, but if I have caffeine after dinner I’ll be up all night.” 

“Ah. I don’t have that problem, but I’ve always been a night owl.”

Kili nodded and they stood next to one another in silence. But it wasn’t a tense or uncomfortable silence, like Kili would have expected. It was companionable. Comfortable even. 

“It’s nice that they closed the street for this,” Fili said.

Kili tensed, “Something that probably won’t happen once you’re done.”

“What?’ Fili’s expression was bewildered. 

“You’re here to redesign the downtown.”

“Yeah…” Fili said slowly. “And what do you think that entails?”

Kili huffed, blowing his bangs off his forehead. “What it always does—wider streets, more parking, and so on.”

“Have you seen any of my work?”

“No.”

“That’s not what I do at all,” Fili said. “See those painted areas by the corner?”

“Yeah,” Kili grumped. He was both pleased and displeased to maybe be proven wrong. 

“Those are to allow for something called ‘daylighting’ which means that the cars can see cars in the intersecting road, but also that they can see pedestrians and pedestrians can see the cars without stepping into the way of traffic.”

“That sounds fine.”

“It is. But paint doesn’t stop people from parking there. And it doesn’t stop an errant car from breaching the sidewalk. My plans have the road narrowing at the intersection to force daylighting, but there will also be bollards to protect pedestrians from those cars should they exit their lanes. The bollards will also visually narrow the lane which will encourage cars to slow down. Narrower lanes will help with that as well.”

Kili’s expression softened as he listened. “That all sounds good.”

“It is,” Fili replied. It will encourage more foot traffic, which will bring more sales to all these little shops. There will still be street parking, and the parking behind the shops, but what already exists is actually more than adequate, it could actually stand to be reduced to make the downtown even more walkable.”

Kili raised his eyebrows. 

“Not what you expected?”

“No,” Kili shook his head. “That’s not what I expected at all.”

“Sometimes it’s good to be surprised,” Fili replied with a wink.

“It is. But it also solves some inner conflict I had been having.”

“Oh?” Fili cocked his head.

Kili reached out with the pretense of brushing a strand of hair from Fili’s face, but it was just an excuse to trace his thumb over Fili’s cheekbone. “Yeah,” he replied softly. “And that’s that I didn’t want our town being ruined by more parking and more cars, but I also really wanted to invite you back to mine and to find out how much of a night owl you are.”

“Oh.”

[chaoticgoodlawyerwrites]

Preview for HOMD Chapter 10

Hey folks! I am very tired and still pretty sick but! I know not how to rest if I am physically able to work soooo. Let's just blame my capricron sun. But now we present! HOMD chapter 10! This is, again, a joint effort with @mocheng-gusto!

---

Shen Yuan was reminded of this last unfortunate fact as he turned off his fifth alarm and read the notification to his most recent message.

✂️: Don’t forget to bring a certain special someone to our date today~ 

Fuck. Shen Yuan had completely forgotten about that part.

Not about the lunch of course. Yesterday he had been psyching himself up to “meet the family”. He was nervous but not anxious as he was putting together the outfit Mei Kexin had specifically made him buy for this occasion.

And just then was when his package arrived.

Alright yes, he had to admit that after that all other thoughts had exited his brain like an emergency evacuation. But by then he was too out of it thinking of silicone heavenly pillars to do anything but the most mundane tasks to keep himself busy!

Nothing to do about that. Fortunately at some point in the past when he’d been more mindful he’d put enough alarms to make sure he’d wake up with plenty of time to get ready, so he had time for a thorough shower and a quick breakfast, but not for anything more.

He would’ve liked to go on a jog to free himself of any restless energy but… thinking about it, he didn’t think his body would be able to take the impact. 

His musings were interrupted by his phone pinging with two new messages.

✂️: And don’t even think you can get out of bringing your man 

✂️: Remember how much blackmail material I have and won’t hesitate to use ❤️ 

Right.

That was the detail he hadn’t accounted for so far. Luo Binghe couldn’t come for quite obvious reasons, and it wasn’t like he had any desires to fess up that he was dating, married, to a mind construct, but he had other options. He’d disappoint his friend and her girlfriend no matter what, but Shen Yuan didn’t want to completely ruin their afternoon. 

Good thing he had a Plan B in mind. The problem was that he never informed his Plan B of his participation in this ruse.

No time like the present! Shen Yuan called Shang Qinghua as he was getting rid of all the gross beddings and towels.

The call was picked up on the third ring. “Bro?”

“Free food.” Best to start with his strongest cards. “I’m inviting you to lunch, with plenty of leftovers to bring home.”

Shang Qinghua was silent for a few seconds. “… Are you bribing me?”

Technically. “Are you coming or not?”

“Aww, no need to be so shy about it bro. If you were feeling lonely you could’ve just said so!” Sensing Shen Yuan’s silence as an impatient one, Shang Qinghua was quick to add. “But sure, why not.”

Shen Yuan discreetly let out a sigh of relief. “I’m sending a Didi to your place. You have twenty minutes to get yourself decent and finish whatever you’re doing.”

Shang Qinghua mumbled. “Every day you’re becoming more like your brother.”

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing! Just send me the info and I’ll be down when it arrives.”

“Alright. I’ll meet you there.” 

“Whe–” Shen Yuan hung up before he was able to get the full word out. He had a couple of cars to order and a cold shower waiting for him.

-----------

Shen Yuan, because the shopping center was actually closer to downtown due to the somewhat upscale nature of the place, got there first. Shang Qinghua wasn’t too far behind, climbing out of the didi with eyes and something like fear on his face. “Bro, what the fuck?”

“Wardrobe,” Shen Yuan said before grabbing his friend’s arm and pulling him in, putting the little strength he had worked to build to use. “Don’t worry; I’m paying.”

“No shit you’re paying!” Shang Qinghua hissed. “I can’t afford to breathe in here. What the actual fuck is going on? Are you becoming my sugar daddy? Platonic, of course; love you but not like that, bro.”

“Tch, you wish. Besides, I’m straight. I’m just paying for stuff today so don’t question it.”

“What kind of lunch are we going to that apparently requires shopping?!” Shang Qinghua asked quietly, eyes darting from side to side as if a nervous herbivore. Shen Yuan locked eyes with a sales associate in the men’s section and, spotting a sale, the person discretely hurried towards them. “Oh, my God, are you taking me to lunch with your family!? Is Shen Jiu going to be there!?! Bro, I’m noping out of the free food offer if that’s the–”

“No, it’s not with my family, sheesh,” Shen Yuan said through clenched teeth before smiling at the sales associate. In a much more polite tone, he addressed them with, “Hi. My friend here needs appropriate semi-casual attire for brunch. We have a rather immediate deadline and would appreciate your assistance.”

“Of course, sir. If sir could please follow me…” Shang Qinghua was too polite to his fellow service worker to resist their urging, but he did throw Shen Yuan a dirty look as he left him alone. He watched from a distance to be sure that Shang Qinghua didn’t pick anything out that was ridiculous but otherwise left him to it, helpfully avoiding the questions his friend had about this ‘lunch’.

He would find out soon enough as it was.

[yveltalreal]

People in "evil" teams — the more serious ones, anyways — often have immunity from law enforcement due to various reasons. Team Rocket, for instance, has its fingers in both the government and police. If I was arrested, I'd be in and out with a clean record in a day.

fascinated by most of your evil teams still having their fingers in the police. if you got arrested for being in rocket here thats a permanent stain on your record. while a lot of evil team events absolutely probably have some covering up going on with them ( I REFUSE TO BELIEVE CYRUS JUST. DISSAPEARED. CHAMPION CYNTHIA WHERE DID YOU PUT HIM WHAT DO YOU MEAN HES "GONE" DID YOUR GARCHOMP GIVE HIM FUCKING CEMENT SHOES WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THEREEEE) team rocket no longer has much influence. none of them really do. at least not the real well known ones.

rockets still around but its remnants who are desperately trying to keep it alive moving from abandoned warehous to abandoned warehouse every time theres a bust. tried a second radio tower take over a couple years back, literally didnt even make it past the front desk before cops were called on suspicious individuals attempting to break in. team plasmas in a similar boat of like. tiny remnants skittering around with no real leadership or influence anymore. like theres technically 3 or 4 rockets and nowadays and i think its a similar thing with plasma because they just are people who dont want to let it all go and have no real plan or leadership. they cannot pull strings with the government anymore tjere is no strings.

flare, macro cosmos, and galactic were like. corporations. theyve kinda fizzled out. i think lysandre labs is technically owned by the rotomphone company now actually but dont quote me on that. galactic had a major reformation, changed their name, rebranded and everything and now theyre working to improve sinnoh infrastructure as an apology and to "realign with the original goals of the galaxy expedition team which we are named after, but with a new modern and progressive twist" and theyre doing pretty well i think. nothing super shady yet mostly cause i think theyre afraid to get blown up by the public if tjey fuck up again. macro cosmos still exists its just most of its companies and departments, and whatever were all sold off to other places or are under completely new management. while flare and galactic mighta pulled the company connections card i dont think macro cosmos ever did anything outrigjt that made it so they had to with any employees?? that i know of at least.

aether is also doing like. new shit. trying to fix their mistakes and stick mostly to conservation stuff while continuing some research into ultra space but like. monitered by the alolan government this time. i dont think people knew enough about it to ever need to pull the government connections card.

team skull, yell, and star are all officially disbanded and now its mostly just people hanging out and working to improve their communities or whatever the hell. these are less evil teams and more mild annoyance teams though. they never had that kinda power over the police anyways

magma and aqua are like. also gone mostly because after seeing what happened to hoenn in just a few hours after waking up a few gods i think they all kinda came to their senses. maxie and archie sure did so. didnt have too much connection with the government either they were literally some freaks.

theres OTHER evil teams but these are the main ones i always see get brought up as evil teams even though theres more??? like orre is still a shithole at times with corruption. depending on the group there you probably would get what ur describing. some weird shit that goes on in the ranger controlled region id have to ask my father about too.

[nebulacollege]

Replies

I procrastinated enough to get a couple of asks, so now I have to make another post where I compile your questions together. I’m very sorry! orz

Anonymous asked:

Who would be more likely to pull the “if I can’t have you then no one can” card on Edmund and murder him in a jealous rage or even for another sick reason?

This ask has been in my box for a month, and the reason why is because I couldn’t figure out how to answer it without spoiling the fuck out of the game lol You’ll get your answer I finish it, I promise. Still, I’ll answer it partially because you’ve been waiting for so long and I feel awkward.

(The more I thought about it, the more I came up with jealousy scenarios that would technically work despite what I write below...)

Niall doesn’t consider Edmund his e- is this a spoiler? Nvm. Niall doesn’t view Edmund as a very important person in his life, so he wouldn’t kill him because he saw Edmund with someone else. In fact, that’s a great argument to bully Edmund even more! He’d do it for other reasons~

Ned would never hurt Edmund on purpose even if he’s dying from jealousy. He’ll probably kill everyone else who looks at Edmund the wrong way, so they’ll be two people left on Earth.

Liam isn’t jealous by nature and he doesn’t really consider Edmund his lover, but he likes him a lot. Edmund’s relationship with any other guy is irrelevant, so, other reasons as well~

My replies are somewhat specific, but I hope not too revealing. Thank you for asking and sorry for keeping you waiting this long!

Anonymous asked:

I read cunningness as something else entirely and I was so confused I had to reread the entire thing again before I realized my mistake

I loved your ask the moment I read it. In fact, I do not consider it a mistake at all. Niall does use his cuntiness because he’s a total cunt. You didn’t read that.

Anonymous asked:

Would you mind if we were to draw your characters with ocs?

That’s... an unusual question that I did not expect to get during such early stages of the Nebula’s development! lol I’ll share my thoughts, if you don’t mind.

I think it’s a little impossible to do this right now in terms of characters being just my vague descriptions from replies and based solely on a handful of sketches that I posted. They don’t have personalities in a proper way, and I haven’t even written them yet in a dialogue once as of today, so it’s hard for me to imagine anyone wanting to draw them when there’s not really much to do with them. Ofc it’s possible to do physically, but I’d hate to see someone being disappointed because my character turned out to be disappointing and not what they imagined after they already wasted their time and effort to draw their OC with them simply due to the lack of knowledge. I’d love people to have the entire image of the characters and the context in which they exist at first. Anyone can draw it even right now, of course, I can’t really stop it, but damn it’s going to be awkward if personalities of someone imagining who Niall is, for example, and who he turns out to be in my writing would be too different. I don’t doubt anyone’s judgment of being able to understand my descriptions, btw, and in addition, I’m not that deep or good with it, but what I plan on writing and what I’ll actually end up writing might be contradicting.

That being said, if and after I finish Nebula at least in some way and it comes out and people can experience it, I don’t really mind whether it’s just an OC or an OC who was created solely as a student for Nebula College. I’d be happy to know that the setting of it was fun enough for people to create their own students and have them interact with the main cast and/or other characters. I see the game closer to a Nitro Chiral experience (in a "harem around a main character" sense), so it feels unusual, but the setting makes it totally plausible. Not to assume that everyone would start dating these douchbags lol

Overall, I guess I don't really mind? It's hard to predict my reaction, tbh.